#THEY’RE SO SALTY MY GOD

[hunterrrs]

yeah. sure. we should criticize sid more. yeah.

love people going off:

[watchyourbuck]

yes buddie marriage yes buddie endgame but you know which fucking fanon hd I will never move on from? buddie fucking in 2x01 right after their pissing match and being unable to keep their hands off each other bc they want each other so badly and it’s messy and nasty and disgusting and so fast GOD

[butterflyeffectiooon]

Going into day 5 of salty boy hyperfixation and I think one of the best parts about it is the vocal layering. At first I mostly focused on dongmyeong’s voice bc I can… more feasibly sing his parts lmao but just now I’m really admiring giuk’s singing parts too, the contrast is so good and it’s incredible how STABLE they are performing this song!!! I loooove dongmyeong’s high tone voice and it’s crazy how high he can sing without even going into his upper register (from what I understand, don’t quote me on this) tho I also think he does an incredible falsetto, was rewatching his performances on the unit and in all day I really think he out sang yuchan and jun and I absolutely love both of them so this isn’t even a dig at them, dongmyeong is just built different lol. Then on the other hand I never really considered giuk’s voice to be particularly low but his parts on the chorus where dm (too lazy to type his whole name again 😭) comes in are ridiculous and maybe I just think that bc I have absolutely no range and can’t even hit the “subject” in the first line of dora maar (this post has a really niche audience probably comprised of just myself lmao) but the kid has stupid range for a “rapper” which I put in quotes not because he’s bad at rapping, he’s actually so good at that too, but because he has an INCREDIBLY versatile voice??? He can go soft and airy (see: my blue) to like that kind of shouty pop punk tone (see: omnipresent and most of his solo stuff) like he’s a star you don’t understand 😭😭😭 they both are!!! Not to mention the 3 other insanely talented members!!!! Anyway if I die without seeing onewe live I’m going to haunt the earth until I can attend their concert as a ghost and if I do see them live and they don’t do salty boy I’m not gonna ask for a refund bc everything they touch is unbelievably good but I will be bitter about it forever lmao

[figthoughts]

night time routine with bf!soldier boy ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings: smut, oral (m. receiving), degradation, spit play, manhandling, est. relationship (dom!bf!soldier boy x gf!reader) 18+

𝜗𝜚˚｡⋆

it’s almost funny how good you are; getting on your knees every night and taking ben’s thick pink cock. he forces his length in as deep as you can take it as you try your best not to gag around him.

he hums in approval with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, his lips covered in the foamy toothpaste with his eyes locked on you. jesus, you’re a sight.

you’re his good girl, looking after him on the floor of the bathroom; helping him wind down while he brushes his teeth— it’s routine at this point, taking his heavy cock that fits so snug in that sweet little mouth of yours.

“such a good little slut for me,” he chuckles with a mouth full of toothpaste as his eyes trace over you.

he pats your head condescendingly, like a dog, and keeps fucking his length deeper at a steady pace. your pretty wide eyes look up at him, trailing up from the tuft of hair right in front of your nose, to his jade green eyes. he smirks down at you, enjoying the way you take him so obediently.

god, you were his good girl. his best fucking girl.

you grumble around his cock at his head pat, earning another laugh from ben as he continues brushing his teeth. the sound of him brushing and the wet squelching noises from your mouth bounce off the tile of the bathroom.

his smug attitude is almost suffocating and his piercing stare makes your heart skip a beat. he loves having you like this, seeing your eyes well with tears as his tip hits the back of your throat with every damn thrust.

christ, you take him so well.

you’re actually a little convinced that he brushes his teeth torturously long on purpose, just wanting to keep his dick down your throat for as long as possible.

he’s a bastard like that, keeping you on your knees until they’re pink and tender while you try not to choke on him. you honestly don’t know how long you spend down there most nights. hell, as soon as he taps his tip against your lips, silently telling you to part them, your brain turns to mush and you take it anyway.

ben fucks your mouth how he knows you like it— like a good little slut for him. his free hand grips your hair into a makeshift ponytail, slamming your face against him. the way your throat tightens around his bulbous pink tip makes his breath catch in his throat. you’re just so fucking good.

when he finally cums, he keeps your face forced against his abdomen, forcing you to take every drop of his seed. he twitches and shoots his load into your throat without a care. the deep husky moans that escape him cause a warm heat to pool in your stomach. he’s just so incredibly sexy and masculine— it always makes you a little woozy.

“fuuuck, doll. such a good girl. my perfect fuckin’ slut,” he blabs on as he cums. his pretty green eyes are squeezed shut as his face contorts in pleasure; his brows pinched and his jaw dropped, taking in deep breaths.

a moan bubbles up your throat, bringing ben back to the moment as he comes down. his eyes drop to you and your pretty lips wrapped around him so perfectly. he enjoys the way you’re so messy with spit drooling out of your mouth.

“jesus, baby. nearly fuckin’ killed this old-timer, huh? you and that fuckin’ mouth,” he grunts out with a chuckle, his eyes tracing over your pathetic little face.

the warm salty flavour of him paired with his words make your pussy flutter in need. the tears finally spill from your eyes as you keep looking up at him; so helpless with his big dick shoved down your throat… just how he likes it.

ben pants and finally pulls his cock out with a grin on his lips, “show me.”

you know exactly what he means, so you look up at him and stick your tongue out, letting him see the filthy combination of his cum and your saliva filling your mouth.

“swallow,” he says firmly, leaving no room for debate. it’s not like you would anyway, you were his cockslut— even if you’d never admit it out loud.

as he watches your throat bob and mouth open again to prove you swallowed, he hums with a nod, “that’s it. good fuckin’ girl.”

ben pats your head… again, before yanking your face back with a fistful of hair. your jaw’s still slack as you pant, trying to catch your breath. you look up at him with your glassy eyes and messy swollen lips.

you look so pitiful and he just can’t resist; his spit lands perfectly in your mouth and he smirks. the minty flavour practically assaults your taste buds after being so used to the tangy taste of him, but nonetheless you swallow again and lick your lips, trying to clean the mess of drool from around your mouth.

“atta girl,” he coos mockingly, watching you swallow and your tongue swipe across your lips, “god, i’ll never get tired of that. you’re a fuckin’ treasure, doll. my stupid little girl.”

A/N: ahhh i’m alive!!! hi!! thank u for 900 followers???? so wild???? i’ve actually been so inactive recently it’s terrible omg so hey if u see this :P

feedback and reblogs are welcome ‘n appreciated! thank uuu!

—

✩ taglist: @chevroletdean @fitxgrld @jasvtsc @bluestrd @1-imbroglio @titsout4nicholas @faithfulsofi @tortureddarkstar @abellmunsonmovie @atenea585 @manicjk @aileenunfiltered @minettacreekk @jackleslvr @winchester-whiskey @artyandink @emeraldcrs @freyabear @a1ecmcdowell @cosmopolitan-thedrink @jwritestuff @suhnisideup @spookyysinsanity @kimxwinchester @bleuatlas @deansbbyx @angelicjackles @cosmicanakin @sl33pylilbunny @k-slla

↑ comment to be added!

[sh1-n0bu]

bello, not sure if your taking requests so this will be my little thirst😼

was thinking about the elf bf and how intimacy is so foreign to him! How good your touches feel on his heated skin but what was this odd feeling? The coil in his tummy getting tighter with each grind of his hips on your thigh. The feeling felt so weird.. it feels good? is this good? he doesn’t want to disappoint you, or worse, scare you away! so he stops himself, letting his hips slow their grind for a moment. Inadvertently edging himself!

id like to imagine if he touched himself he would stop before cumming as well, he doesn’t know what it is! it feels so odd, makes him feel hot all over!

After he slows his grinds, you would be a bit confused…, does he not want to cum? or does he want to wait til your inside him? it takes a bit before you even think that maybe he hasn’t gotten that far before, the idea that you get to corrupt him making your face heat. Goodness he would be so pretty, teary eyes begging for you to slow down. Hips bruised from how rough you had grabbed him!

and to think, when he finally cums? its so overwhelming. heat spreading through his body, mind numbing as his legs twitch slightly? his pretty cock leaking onto his stomach? GOOD LORD I NEED IT💥💥💥

ty for listening nobu🫶🏼 we love you pls dont die

(low key my first ask, hope you enjoyed as i dont write much)

bellooooo, me is not taking requests for now but im still open for brainrots/thirsts!!!!

good lawdddd y’all gotta stop corrupting me more, my horny level can’t keep up guys. so i haven’t read the history of middle earth and all abt the biologies and cultures of the races tolkien created but i have come across multiple posts or points of people pointing out that sex and intimacy is an extremely important and raw thing. like how a constant friction creates fire over time and how that fire spreads into a wildfire that consumes everything, that’s how it is to elves and their culture. courting is important and it could go for a very long time until they decide to officially tie the knot. yet even after getting married, the consummation won’t happen in a while, first the couple must at least intertwine their fëa (soul) and so, the consummation act is more intense and powerful. its a very draining thing, when elves fuck, they fuck. long and hard, probably all night and into the next morning and even evening perhaps. they’re immortals, they have a monster amount of stamina

so with this info in mind, u gotta realize that elves do have knowledge of sex, how it usually feels etc and how near sacred it is to their kin. love is a fragile thing that will cross their eternal life only once and when they love, boy do they love. yet something tells me that despite having knowledge of sex, masturbation and other fleshly pleasures, they don’t participate in it much. its like they barely have anything that gets them pent up or sexually frustrated until they fall in love. and if it is a mortal? oh boy, they are confused and yearning. it’s like an instant neuron activation for them

the poor elf would barely know what to do with these thoughts and imaginations of you and him in such a compromising position. images of you guiding him through your first times together, holding hands, whispering sweet nothings into his sensitive, pointy ear while he shrivels with embarrassing noises on your lap. oh how those calloused, hardened hands would feel when tightly fisting at his cock, draining him dry and milking every last drop of his cum. how those long, thick fingers would feel when thrusting inside him, scissoring him open and making him squeal. good god, don’t even get him started on the dirty images he thinks of you when he looks at those arms and thighs of yours, he’s imagining himself riding that muscle until he soils his pants or how your hands would push his head down to fully swallow your cock into his throat

would it taste as how it is described in the eroticas? would your precum be salty as your thick cock head pushes past his soft lips with your soothing voice instructing him to “open wide, puppy”? would you be so mean as to fist at his gorgeous locks and fuck into his mouth, use him to your own pleasure? he would be a good puppy for that, taking whatever you had to give him with red cheeks and hands obediently held on his lap. like a good puppy, he would open his mouth, tongue out like an eager little dog waiting for the taste of his favorite snack as you stroke your dick, a low moan falling as he finally taste your load shoot into his awaiting open jaws

and when his dirty thoughts are finally granted and turned into reality? he’s a goner. scrambling on his feet, tripping over his words, mind blanking as he feels your hands grope his ass over the linen of his pants. feeling like a young ellon rather than the full grown elf he is when your hands fiddle with the buckle of your belt, gulping down the saliva in his mouth as he sees your strap spring out of your undergarment

with a shaky hand, he would grip your strap, meagerly stroking his hands up and down with a stuttered “i-is this okay…?” oh dear stars, how badly you wanted to just fuck him dumb right then and there, seeing the cute pouting lips, big eyes staring at you for an approval as he weakly asks for your preference. how fast he is to crumble when he feels your rough hand wrap around both your and his own dicks, stroking them together with a slow pace, occasionally spitting on them. his mind was already blanking, and he was sure that he had already came into your hand the moment you touched him

“w-wait a—annh!! mmh uhnng♡︎ h-hold owwnn♡︎ i ju-ust c-came! i came alreanngh already...♡︎!!” the poor elf weakly cried out, falling back into the sea of soft pillows as his hands shook by his chest, where he held them close to himself. he was sure you could hear the rapid beating of his heart, embarrassed by the noises he kept letting out despite biting down on his lips to shut himself up. poor sweetheart, doesn’t even know that the thing dripping down onto his stomach is his pre-ejaculation and not his cum! “shh shh… it’s alright, darling. i’ll be sure to teach you all about the fleshly pleasures tonight♡︎” and you were going to absolutely ruin him

sweet virgin elf who crumples into a heap of mess after experiencing his first cum. moaning and even squealing as his hands flailed around, unable to choose whether to hold onto your arms or to claw at the blanket beneath himself as you continue to keep going despite his whines of having already came. you were so mean, quickening your pace and even squeezing your dicks together, he was so sure that he blacked out when you first did that or swiped a thumb over his oozing tip. arms covering his face to hide the flush of his cheeks and the drooped ears, crying out to you that he was going to die. so dramatic

“sh-stooohpp..! stop stopstopstop—stop it♡︎♡︎! i came!! i nyaagh ungh guhc—came! i alreaawdyy camee…♥︎!” the elf cried out, already slurring his words together as his hips grind back and forth on the bed until your free hand comes up to keep it down in place with a bruising grip. your sweet boyfriend could only cry out, a broken whine falling as he shook his head, looking down at your hand that held down his hip before shifting to look at where your cocks were touching. held together in a tight fist, your hand already soiled with his cute load of precum as well as his stomach. he never noticed it before but gods, your strap was dwarfing him in size and girth. he would surely die if he takes that big thing inside himself!

but when you don’t seem to hear his pleas and only continue to fuck your strap and his weeping cock together in a faster pace into the tight grip of your fist — even rocking your hips forward too! — the poor elf was sure he was going to see the bright skies of valinor that night. whimpers turning into broken wails, punched out sobs of your name falling out of his now bloodied lips as he covers his face with his hands. he could feel the hot tears that fell from his eyes, wiping them away with cute pathetic sniffles as you tighten your fist just at the heads. another squeeze and one more before he was crying out your name in a shrill scream, his legs around your hips tightening, shaking even, as he finally feels himself cumming alongside you. translucent colored seeds mixing together, dirtying his stomach and even shooting up to his heaving chest

“…s-shoo goowdd… aaanh hhagc—♡︎ c-cum..♥︎ cumming ’gainn hhgaaa♥︎ ughk haahg [n-naawme], [namenamenamena—]♥︎♥︎” the elf sobbed out weakly, a putty in your hands as he feels his cock slowly grow flaccid. if it weren’t for the rough pads of your fingers tracing circles around his clenching rim and the feeling of your clean hand push away his hands from his face, your elf bf would have most definitely been sure that he had died and was re-embodied. yet despite the fuzziness in his brain and the way his blood seemed to circulate too quickly through his veins, his body unconsciously pressed itself against you, against your fingers as if seeking for more pleasure

thats enough thirsting yall, go do yalls assignments

[hoshifighting]

latino!mingyu

WARNINGS: smut, latino life, im jus kidding (ou não também), mentions of alcohol, flipping the cap before kissing you, fingering, oral, dirty talk, hair pulling, public-teasing, public-make out.

if nobody said it, i will. MINGYU LATINO!!! mingyu who, no matter where he is, somehow finds a reason to grab a beer, and yeah, it's gotta be ice cold. “wanna pilsen, babe?” he’s already tossing one your way before you can answer. like, let’s be real here, this man drinks anything that remotely resembles beer. pilsen, brahma, skol, corona? he’s down. anything to cool off that tanned, toned-ass body of his after playing fútbol/futebol/soccer, anyways, for way too long just ‘cause he knows you’re watching. and when that shirt comes off? goddamn, everybody in the surroundings is drooling. mingyu knows it too, that cocky grin spreading across his face, and you're just trying to act normal. but it’s impossible when the man is literally glowing under the scorching sun.

he danced at his cousin’s quinceanera/festa de 15. of course, he did. he’s that hot cousin, the one all the aunties fawn over, talking about how he’s grown up so well, while the guys on the block are salty ‘cause their girls won’t stop staring when he's shirtless walking in havaianas flip-flops. he’s out there, not giving a damn, smiling, swaying his hips to reggaeton with you, and trust—he’s glued to your ass like you owe him something. or clapping his hands and asking you to dance samba with him. you roll your eyes, but you’re lowkey hyped up by his attention. that man is always hyping you up, calling you “amor/cariño/gatinha/mama/bebe” like it’s a full-time job.

every party, every gathering, someone’s got him dancing with their cousin, their sister, their aunt even (and he’s good at it).

mingyu who comes to your ear, whispering dirty things, just to see you getting all wet. “you look so fuckin’ good tonight, mama. can’t wait to get you back home and ruin that dress.”

he says it like it’s a casual thing, with that smirk of his. the kinda smirk that says he knows you’re weak for him, the way you flush when he so much as drags his fingers up your arm. and he’s not wrong. you could play it off cool, but he’s already in your head, already got you thinking about what’s gonna happen later.

mingyu who's skin is so damn hot, like he’s a human furnace, and you swear it’s impossible to cuddle with him for too long without needing a breather. the dude radiates heat like no one else, and even though you love the way he wraps around you—those big arms pulling you tight, holding you like he’s never gonna let go—there’s always that moment where you’re like, “okay, I need to cool the fuck down before I melt into a puddle.” and he always laughs about it, gives you that lazy smile while you’re fanning yourself, like, “what? too hot to handle?”

but the thing is, it’s not just about the heat. there’s something else in the way mingyu touches u, like he’s always trying to get as close as possible. sometimes, he has no shame in it—like when he gets that look in his eyes, and next thing you know, he’s got you pinned against a random house on the street, his mouth crashing into yours. tongue and tongue and tongue, his lips moving against yours like he’s starving for you. his hands? they’re everywhere—flying down to grab your ass, squeezing like he owns it, pulling you closer, so you can feel just how bad he wants you.

and oh my god, when he turns his cap backward before kissing you? dead. you know it's coming—the way he runs a hand through his hair, then flips that hat around. it’s such a small move, but fuck, it drives you insane every time. like he’s gearing up for something more, and you know that look means he’s about to ruin you in the best way possible. no warning, he just dives in, lips pressing hard, tongue slipping inside your mouth, claiming you. he kisses like it’s his job—wet, messy, and so fucking good you lose yourself in it every time.

then there’s mingyu in bed. and the man’s got skills 😭, and he knows it. when he’s behind you, hands in your hair, pulling just enough to make your back arch, it’s game over. you’re a mess, and he’s thriving off it, low growls escaping him as he fucks you from behind, his hips slamming into yours with that steady, unforgiving rhythm. he’s so into it—one hand gripping your hair, the other on your waist, guiding you, pulling you back onto him. and he doesn’t just pull your hair like it’s a casual thing—oh no. he pulls it slow, but then suddenly he yanks harder as if he's silently telling you “this is mine. you’re mine.”

and don’t even get started on his fingers. mingyu’s got the best fingers, and he knows exactly how to use them. whether it’s slow and teasing, dragging it out until u’re practically begging, or fast and rough, working you up until you can barely think straight—he’s a pro at this shit. sometimes, he’ll have u spread out, fingers deep inside you, curling them, head bobbing as he sucks your clit. and he watches you fall apart under his touch? it’s like he’s studying every reaction, committing it to memory so he can wreck you even harder next time.

but the dirtiest thing about mingyu? it’s the way he talks when you’re in public and trying to keep it together. you know the type—when you’re at dinner or out with friends, and you’re trying to be normal, trying to focus on the conversation, but mingyu’s sitting next to u, whispering the filthiest shit in your ear. his voice is low, just for you, and no one else at the table has a clue what’s going on.

“bet you’re so fuckin’ wet for me right now, aren’t you, baby? can feel how bad you want it.”

and he says it all casual, like he’s not making you clench your thighs together under the table, trying to keep from giving yourself away. but he knows, and he’s not letting up. his hand brushes your leg under the table, fingertips barely grazing your thigh, and your heart’s pounding because you know what he’s doing.

“if i slid my hand up your skirt right now, you’d be soaked. don’t lie, mama. i can see it in your eyes.”

and it’s so fucking hard not to react, not to moan right then and there. but you can’t. you won’t. because you're in public, surrounded by people, and the last thing you need is to let everyone in on the fact that mingyu’s got you trembling in your seat. but he loves it, loves seeing you try to hold it together, that smug grin playing on his lips as he watches you squirm. “gonna take you home later,” he whispers, breath hot against your ear, “will make you cream on my cock, make you scream my name. don’t think you’ll be so quiet then.”

it’s all you can do to keep breathing, to keep pretending like you’re fine when, really, all you want is for mingyu to make good on every dirty promise he’s whispered in your ear. and you know he will.

[insert-name-heres-things]

Happy Disability Pride Month!!!

Remember Folks:

- SELF CARE IS NUMBER ONE

- Use your spoons sparingly! Here’s some spoons to go: 🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄

- Clean your mobility aids! (Seriously dude when was the last time you wiped that shit down with an antibacterial?)

- Accommodate yourself, as others will follow.

- Make goals within your reach and abilities

- DO YOUR COPINGS SKILLS

- Remember to stay hydrated and take your meds!

- For my fellow heat sensitive homies, stay cool this summer! A cold rag draped behind your neck, airy clothing, a small portable hand fan, keeping ice packs ready, cold water and expecially cold electrolyte drinks, all do wonders!

- For my fellow autistic folks, don’t be afraid wear earmuffs, stim, use chew charms, whatever it is that helps you regulate. You don’t have to mask if it’s something that isn’t benefitting to your life.

- POTS havin mofos like me, salt the ever loving fuck out of your food. Try different foods with salt, such as fruits and vegetables! I’m currently eating a salty tomato. Drink lots of water, I’ve been aiding gateraid packets to my water and it’s made a HUGE difference, especially as someone who hates drinking water.

- Those with PTSD for whatever reason, I wish you safety and support as you learn to cope and hopefully heal.

- I don’t know exactly what to say to others with H-EDS, as I’m still understanding this disorder other then BE CAREFUL WITH YOURSELF THIS PRIDE MONTH. I swear to god we are the most accident prone mother fuckers lmfao-

- If your immune system is all fucky like mine, keep clean and be sanitary, communicate with others that if they’re sick you can’t be around them, and wear a mask if you feel like that’s the right option for you. In my hometown I’ve gotten yelled at more than once for wearing a mask post-covid, however you can’t let someone else’s ignorance result in your own suffering.

- Don’t forget to move around and stretch! A little movement can do a lot for your body.

- Check in with your disabled friends! Try and see if there’s any way you can help one another, see where both of your strengths and weaknesses lie, and swap some spoons!!

- Be aware of what triggers your disorders. Whether if it’s caffeine triggering bipolar episodes, the weather causing fibro flares, big changes causing meltdowns, overexerting your hypermobility, whatever it is, it matters. Listen to your body and mind.

- Don’t be afraid to call out that doctor who isn’t listening, dismissing your symptoms and medically gaslighting you.

- While it may not seem like a big difference for some, trust me when I say your appetite is so important! Remember if it comes down to it, that it’s better to eat something, ANYTHING, than nothing at all. 

- To that person who might be hesitant, ashamed or might be questioning wether or not they should use a mobility aid, if it’s the difference between you being stuck at home vs going out and living some life… USE THAT MOBILITY AID!!! Same goes for braces and any other tool that may help you live a better quality of life.

- Be accepting towards those with disabilities different then your own- remember this month isn’t a competition about who’s struggling the most, rather to understand that people of physical, psychological, sensory, neurodivergence, and even undiagnosed disabilities all share one thing in common.. WHICH IS BEING DISABLED!

- Doesn’t matter who you are, how young or old, black or white, thick or thin - the disabled minority is one you can end up becoming a part of at any time, and likely will if you live long enough. Disability doesn’t discriminate, so EVERYONE should be advocating for disabled people’s rights.

- And of course, have pride in being disabled. This shit is fucking hard, but if you’re reading this, you’re doing it. Just being here today and doing what you can handle or manage, is doing your best, and that’s enough. You don’t have to push yourselves to impossible lengths to be proud of yourself.

Here, have the disability pride flag:

[misspygmypie]

Gourmet Disaster Cookies - LN4

Pairing: Lando Norris x reader Warning: None Summary: Lando and you bake cookies. What could go wrong?

Please do not repost, thank you, and leave some feedback :)

Lando’s eyes narrowed at the mess sprawled across the kitchen table. Flour dusted the counter like snow, sugar was scattered like confetti, and an oversized mixing bowl sat in the middle, its contents a questionable shade of brown. Despite the chaos, the smell of fresh-baked cookies wafted through the air, combined with the scent of his frustration.

“Stupid. So stupid. My God. I’m so done with your shit,” he mumbled, shaking his head in exasperation. His dark curls were a mess from running his hands through them repeatedly, flour sprinkled in.

You leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, watching Lando with a barely contained smile. “I don’t think you’re actually done with this,” you said, voice dripping with amusement.

Lando shot you a look that could’ve murdered you. “I’m not doing this again,” he said firmly, though you both knew his words were empty threats.

It had started as a simple suggestion: baking cookies together on a lazy Saturday. You had hoped it would be a relaxing activity, a way to spend time together. What you hadn’t anticipated was Lando’s complete lack of ability to produce anything edible in the kitchen.

He had, with great enthusiasm, insisted on making cookies from scratch. You had watched, bemused, as he struggled to measure ingredients, with flour explosions and sugar spills becoming a regular occurrence. The recipe seemed to mock him with each step. When it called for “a pinch of salt,” Lando had interpreted it as “a handful,” resulting in cookies that were both salty and sweet in the most bewildering way.

“Well, you see,” you said, strolling over and peeking into the mixing bowl, “the recipe called for way less salt for starters.”

Lando sighed dramatically, slumping onto one of the barstools that wasn’t covered with some kind of ingredient. “I swear, I followed the instructions. But you were too busy talking about how we should add extra chocolate chips…”

“Hey, extra chocolate chips were a great idea!” you interrupted, though you knew his complaint was valid.

He shot you an incredulous look. “Yes, extra chocolate chips in cookies that taste like cardboard was definitely a great idea.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his defeated expression. “Well, you did say you wanted to make them ‘extra special.’”

Lando rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I wanted them special, not… whatever this is.”

You crossed the kitchen and gently nudged him with your elbow. “Well, how about we try to salvage the situation? Maybe turn this into a fun, new recipe? Like ‘Gourmet Disaster Cookies’?”

Lando’s expression softened, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Gourmet Disaster Cookies? Really?”

“Why not?” you said, reaching for the jar of sprinkles and shaking it over the remaining dough. “It’ll be a new culinary adventure.”

He watched, still skeptical but intrigued, as you turned the doughy catastrophe into a playful mess of sprinkles and smiles. “Alright, alright,” he said, shaking his head with a smile. “But if we’re doing this, we’re doing it right. Next time, we’re sticking to pre-made cookie dough.”

You laughed and gave him a playful nudge. “Deal. But for now, let’s just enjoy our ‘Gourmet Disaster Cookies.’”

The two of you sat down with the cookies, which were now covered in a generous layer of colorful sprinkles. The cookies were oddly shaped and unevenly baked, some corners almost charcoal black, some spots suspiciously raw looking - BUT the presentation was kind of festive. You took a bite, exaggeratedly savoring the taste.

“Not bad!” you said through a mouthful, trying to sell them to the curly-haired Brit watching you.

Lando took a cautious bite, and his face lit up in surprise. “You know what? These actually aren’t terrible. They’re weird, but… not terrible.”

As you both laughed and enjoyed the cookies, the kitchen mess seemed to fade into the background. The burnt edges and odd flavors were nothing compared to the joy of the shared experience.

After finishing off the batch, Lando stood up and stretched. “I can’t believe we actually ate those.”

You chuckled, tossing a stray piece of dough into the trash. “We did. And I think we might have created a new tradition.”

Lando grinned, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “Next time, we’re definitely using pre-made dough. But until then, I guess we’ve got our own ‘Gourmet Disaster Cookies’ to remember.”

The day ended with the kitchen still looking like a war zone, but you didn’t mind. As you and Lando cleaned up together, your laughter echoed through the room, making the mess seem less like a disaster and more like a cherished memory.

In the end, it wasn’t about the cookies. It was about the moments you shared, the laughter, and the way even a cooking disaster could turn into a delightful adventure when you had the right partner.

[egglain]

Go Ahead & Cry (I’d Wipe Away All Your Tears)

incl.: nanami, choso, toji, gojo, geto, sukuna

summary: for a group of men who kill for a living, they’re awfully sweet… most of the time. AKA: how the jjk men comfort you

a/n: ngl i’m writing this bc i’m finally processing the US election results & i just… can’t deal. my heart goes out to all of you. pls take care of yourselves & enjoy the drabbles 🫶

Nanami

Nanami would be the first to notice something is off.

Whether you’re both at home and you’re just a bit too quiet, or he hasn’t heard from you by his lunch break while at work, something is distinctly off.

He wouldn’t be the nosy type, or the type to press. He’d bring home a sweet treat and a sentimental good (a potted flower, a stuffed animal, something that reminded him of you) without a word.

He wouldn’t pity you; far from it. And he’d never want to make you feel like that. So he’d leave the gifts on the coffee table and greet you with a kiss to the forehead, like always.

He’d sit in silence with you as if nothing was awry— allow you to feel your emotions. He’d put on a movie you like, something mindless and upbeat, without asking. Drag you to his chest and hold you there, keeping you warm and grounded in his touch.

If the waterworks start up, he’d rub your back with a large hand and press kisses to the part of your hair.

“That’s it. Get it out. I know.”

Choso

Choso is either too emotionally in-tune or completely clueless until the tears start.

But when he knows you’re upset, he feels it too.

He gets it wrong a lot of the time, at the beginning— tries to pry the cause out of you so he can minimize it. In his defence, he does it with good intentions; tries to help you see that the perceived threat is small in the greater scheme of things, that everything will work out.

But when the tears start welling, he knows he’s fucked up.

And god, is he so sweet trying to fix things.

“So sorry—“

He’d kiss the salty tears off your cheeks without hesitation.

“How do I make it stop?”

His bleeding heart is his biggest weakness and his greatest strength.

You wouldn’t have to lift a finger for the rest of the day, as he tries to make things up to you. Cooking (though he burns the bottom of the pan), cleaning (though he spills the food and has to clean again), and cuddles would be the itinerary.

Though he loves to be little spoon, he’d let you rest in his arms as long as you need it. And once you find a spot in his arms, he wouldn’t dare move.

Toji

Toji is not great with words. Or gifts. Or quality time, really.

Despite his best intentions, he always manages to fuck it up somehow. Usually by minimizing your feelings with a “what now?” or a “‘s not a big deal.” or a “nothin’ to cry over.”

It’s not his fault you cry over the little things & that you look so cute doing it. Those fat tears and reddened cheeks scratch the sadistic part of his brain so good.

That being said, he’s learned what you like over the years. Even stopped scoffing when he senses you’re feeling down.

No, he’s developed a plan.

At the first signs of distress (he’s gotten really good at recognizing these), he’s got you in his arms. If he’s at work, you better bet he’s speeding things up and hauling his ass back.

He wrestles you into his big clothes; don’t even think about fighting him on this. He wants you comfy and cozy. He’d be setting you up on the couch, dragging the comforter down from the bedroom to wrap you up. He’d sit there with you for hours, massaging your feet or calves and ordering food in. Your favourite fast food— and a whole lotta ice cream.

Don’t take advantage of his kindness though; he’s still Toji. Any snide comments, and he’d be quick to snap back.

“Shut up n’ let me take care of ya.”

Gojo

Gojo’s a little… misguided when cheering people up most of the time. That is, unless you find his goofy antics comforting.

He’s known for draping himself over shoulders obnoxiously, pinching and pulling cheeks, and light jabs that crack (only) him up.

When that doesn’t work, it’s a quick fix— thanks to the seemingly unending pit of his black card.

Gojo Satoru, at his core, is a gift giver.

Nothing pleases him more than sharing things with you that he thinks will bring you joy— whether that’s an expensive physical present or a luxurious vacation abroad.

He’s wrapped around your little fingers and a sniffle would have him buckling at the knees and fumbling for his wallet.

While this might look like a cop out— a way to get out of emotional intelligence duty— it’s just one part of his approach. The man is actually quite sensitive and understanding once you dig beneath the layers of persona. And he can be surprisingly mature— though he’d never want to show that side to most of the world.

He’d always listen to your yapping, validating your feelings— he’d take your side always. And he is a pro at shit-talking. At the end of it, you always come out feeling a little bit better. A little bit stronger.

You are the strongest together, after all.

Geto

Suguru is a problem-solver.

He’d sit and motion for you to lay your head on his thighs. Long elegant fingers would make gentle work of your roots and scalp, and the tension would be melting away. When you’re relaxed enough to breathe, he’d want to hear all the venting.

“Now do you want solutions or just my ear?”

He’s your rock; always puts things into perspective if you ask. He’s always got advice— though sometimes clouded by bias. Still, it’s nice to have someone to bounce ideas off of. Someone who actually listens.

Understands.

The flipside, however, is the darkness you find in him. He understands what to do because he’s hurt too. You can see it in the way he carries himself, in the bags under his eyes and the shake of his hands on the bad days.

But you care for him like he cares for you— braid his hair back, let him talk it out, gift whatever advice you can muster.

And as soon as you’re both feeling better, you’d be getting crêpes with the girls.

Sukuna

The King of Curses does not understand human sadness.

Perhaps he had empathy for it, centuries ago, before he became the Two-faced Spectre.

But now, seeing you upset, all he can think of is how pathetic tears look in reddened eyes.

He’d wipe them away with a big thumb, clicking his tongue.

“Unsightly, pathetic little thing.”

Yet, the way he speaks down to you holds a softness. A protective nature he rarely gives voice to.

He’d treat you like a porcelain doll; a prized possession. No measure was inconvenient when it came to appeasing you— though he’d be quick to reprimand entitlement. And vehemently deny any sort of feeling towards you.

When the tears come, he’d be signalling for Uraume to draw a bath and cook your favourite. You’d find your room tidied, trinkets left on the foot of your bed as if dragged in by a wild animal— an ornate dagger, gold jewellery, incense.

He wasn’t one to demonstrate affection— but he’d keep you close on the tough days. Whether it be making a seat for you on one of his hulking thighs or allowing you to sleep in his quarters, he’d allow you to do as you please.

[bubybubsters]

Game day (chp. 4)

summary: in which reader is an avid studier and all she does is listen to music, study, eat, and sleep. what happens when she suddenly becomes attracted to a friend of a friend, a football player no less… not just any footballer, the quarterback that every girl fawns over

a/n: THIS CAUSED ME SO MUCH STRUGGLE I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT 🙏🙏🙏

previous part - series masterlist - next part

“Y/n we’re going to be late!”

“It’s 5:57 you said six!” you call back.

You hear the three sisters groan out in annoyance. You smirk, quickly scribbling your last sentences for your English essay, folding it up and tucking it into your bag. You throw on a dab of blush and grab your pre-prepared bag before heading out. 

“Y/n if we’re late you’re dead.” Nesta grits out, teeth clenched. 

You grin. “You’ll be fine, Nes.”

Elain smiles guiltily, “Did I mention we’re picking up Lucien?”

Both Feyre and Nesta groan as your grin grows. “Thank god! Someone sane!” Turning to Nesta you reach back to poke her shoulder, “Now who ya gonna kill, huh?”

She bares her teeth. “Still you!”

“Ugh whatever. You’re just salty you don’t get to have your pregame lip-tongue-dance with Cassian.”

Nesta growls, leaping at you, sitting in shotgun, from her back seat just as Elain pulls to a sudden stop. Her momentum sends her crashing head-first into Elain’s seat and her feet spread with one in Feyre’s stomach and the other splayed against the window.

You chuckle, quickly stepping out of the car. “I’ll get Lucien.”

Slamming the car door, you hurry up the stone path to the Vanserra house. As you ring the doorbell, you hear screaming and arguing from the direction of the car.

The door opens, Lucien steps out, and the door closes just as fast.

You raise a brow. “What? Can’t say hi to my favorite family nowadays?”

Lucien rolls his eyes. “Eris is back.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Y’know maybe-”

“Nope.”

You sigh. “Please Lucien. Just one dinner to get all the juicy details of his life out.”

“Nope. You never told me why you’re so interested in him anyway.”

“Call it curiosity.”

He offers his elbow, fake eye glinting for a millisecond. “Curiosity kills the cat, remember?”

You take his hand and the two of you make your way to the still-fighting sisters.

“Good thing I’m not a cat then, huh?”

“Well, it looks like they’re already closer to a cat than you.” Lucien motions to Elain, Nesta, and Feyre screaming and clawing at eachother.

You hum, opening the door. “I suppose.” 

The three sisters stop fighting immediately, Elain going brick red and gripping onto the wheel with too stiff posture.

You smile, climbing into the front seat and leaving Lucein to the back. He sends you a look of betrayal through the mirror as he climbs in next to Feyre.

Elain slams the gas and you all jolt forward.

Fifteen minutes later you’ve parked and are running for the stadium. The five of you find your reserved box seats (courtesy of Rhysand) and slump into them.

The game started ten minutes ago and the score is stil zero-zero. 

“Thank god.” Nesta sighs, eyes closing. 

“NESTA!!”

Everyone in your group groans as thousands of heads turn your way. Nesta smiles through a grimace and waves to Cassian. 

Her boyfriend is on the field, jumping up and down and waving his hands like a crazy man while the coach yells at him. You see Azriel look in your direction and you look down immediately.

“Oh?”

You glance at Lucien. “What?”

“You like him?”

“No!” He looks skeptical. “Maybe.” He smiles. “Yes fine he’s really cute and he doesn’t look like he’d bother me with stupid questions about girls.” You send Lucien a pointed look.

He blushes slightly. “You should ask him out.”

“Nope.”

“He probably likes you too.”

“Nope.”

“He’s looking this way.”

Your head shoots up, eyes instinctively finding him among the players. Your eyes meet. He waves. You stare. Lucien grabs your wrist and makes your hand wave back. You blush. You both look away.

A whistle blows and yelling starts anew. You glance at the field. Players are moving and Azriel is throwing. The ball flies into Rhysand’s outstretched hands and he takes off running. Noise fills the stadium, both boos and cheers. 

You smile, as Feyre jumps around and cheers her ass off. Grabbing a pencil and your English paper from your bag, you turn to Lucien. 

“Can you read through this?” You have to scream to be heard as the stadium absolutely erupts into cheers. 

“Touchdown!”

You glance up, clapping politely. 

Lucien grabs the paper with a nod. You can’t hear what he’s saying but his mouth is moving. You move closer. “It’s probably perfect you’re at the top of the class.”

“Make sure?”

He groans but nods, settling into his seat. 

Five minutes later he’s giving you two thumbs up and you’re taking your paper with a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you!”

Then you push him straight into Elain.

“You’re evil.” Feyre steals Lucien’s seat. Her voice sounds a little hoarse from yelling but her eyes are bright and her mouth curved up.

“He’ll be thanking me one day.” 

“Azriel definitely won’t.” She nods her head to the field and you see Azriel glaring daggers into the crowd.

“He is not looking at us.”

“Yes he is! Straight into Lucien’s back.”

“No way.”

Feyre groans and gives up just as the game starts up again. 

You sigh, eyeing the field, football wasn’t really your thing. All you know is touchdowns are good and interceptions are bad and fumbles are bad and the quarterback is Azriel. This is gonna be a long game.

An hour later, the game is finally done with a win for Velaris University. And thank the gods because that shit was boring. You walk down the field with your friends to meet the players. Feyre jumps into Rhys’s arms, both of them kissing and hugging with no end in sight. Nesta follows albeit with a little less intensity, and she and Cassian head off, likely to do some freaky ah stuff in the locker rooms.

You look around, just in time to spot Lucien and Elain split off and start a nice walk across the field while talking and laughing.

“Hey, Y/n?” A deep voice you now recognize calls out.

“Azriel.”

“Y/n.”

“Congrats on the win!” Yes, you finally said something right.

“Thanks.” He doesn’t even grace you with a smile.

Silence falls, crickets chirp.

You smile awkwardly, “Well you look… busy.” You wave to the plethora of girls squealing a distance away holding pink hearts and little gifts all with his name printed on. “I guess I’ll leave you to it?”

He blanches, complexion going white.. “Oh please no.”

Huh?

“What?”

“They’re gonna tear me apart trying to get me to date one of them, god please stay. Rhys and Cass have abandoned me now that they have girls of their own, not that that’s bad of course I’m glad they’re happy bu-”

“Azriel,” you cut him off. “I’ll stay.”

He blinks, and, slowly, the corners of his mouth turn up just the slightest. “Thank you.”

You merely link your arms and smile as you lead the two of you across the field and to the bleachers.

“Don’t worry bout it, kay?”

a/n: ask to be added!

taglist (11/45): @casiiopea2 @andrewgarfield2022 @the-onlyy-angie @thelov3lybookworm @icey--stars @blonde-bansheee @portkeytomyworld @kingshitonly @fuckingsimp4azrielk @ladyphoenixayhp @celestialgilb

[foli-vora]

pretty boy

matt murdock x f!reader

A/N: This gif should be fucking illegal. There I was, just minding my own business at 12.30am thinking ‘hey I should probably get some sleep’ and then bam—suddenly I was obsessed with needing to suck this man’s dick. So here we are—enjoy.

This is a drabble of 500+ words and I can’t be bothered tagging so yeah.

Warnings: SMUT 18+ ONLY: oral sex (m), swallowing, the need to have this man weak and whiny at my fingertips… look, this is probably a mess but idgaf

-

He’s so fucking thick.

An ache is quick to build in your jaw, your mouth straining uncomfortably as his cock disappears beyond your lips. He hits the back of your throat and you inhale sharply to push just that little bit further, to take him deeper, to drive him closer to that sweet edge you’d been teasing him with.

You fight the discomfort eagerly, practically hanging onto every little whine and exhale that falls from his lips. He always sounds so fucking pretty, breathless from being lost in his pleasure and full of praise for every inch you take greedily.

He never knows where to put his hands, and you’d laugh if you didn’t have the solid length of him heavy and throbbing against your tongue.

His fingers trace your cheek, glide over where your lips part around the width of him, swipes through the saliva that gathers at the corner and spills down your chin. They curl around the back of your head, and you tremble from the strength you feel lingering behind his touch, the temptation to hold you steady and fuck up harshly into your mouth almost overcoming his patience.

One day you’d break him. One day. 

His hands move again, quickly coming to rest over yours where they’re spread out across the scarred expanse of his hips, holding him in place. He’s quick to intertwine his fingers with yours, seeking a physical tether to the world as he drowns in an endless void of ecstasy. 

A brief tang of salty precum oozes from the tip of his cock and sinks into your taste buds as you pull back enough to take a breath, and your tongue drags over the smooth head firmly before gently rubbing along the lower side where you feel his frenulum, massaging the spot over and over and over—

He jolts, toned stomach jumping at the sensation and you groan weakly around him, eyes fluttering as he bucks into your mouth. He’s close. You hear it in the way his lips form the plea of sweetheart, the way he helplessly cries out for his God and begs for that little push over the edge.

Please, sweetheart. Just a little more, j-just like that—God, please, yes—

He erupts on your tongue with a flood of thick heat and a delightfully filthy moan that has your weeping cunt clenching from the low obscene rumble of it, and you swear you’ll never get enough.

You swallow it all down eagerly, tongue rolling over the length of him until he finally starts to soften in your mouth and his thighs start to shake from overstimulation. You pull away and let him fall from your lips with a low pop before delivering a final kiss to his thigh and standing. You resume dressing, fingers numb from his tight hold and slow as they try to continue buttoning your shirt as the morning light filters through the window. 

He pants into the air of the bedroom, a blissed out, tired smile pulling at the corners of his lips as he swims in his post orgasm waves, “What was that for?”

“You’re just so damn pretty, Matthew.”

[velvet-n-lace]

NSFW Alphabet (Lucifer Edition)

Series: Obey Me!

Genre: Smut/Headcanon

Word Count: 1.7k words

Pairing(s): Lucifer x Female MC

A/N: This has probably been done before, but I wanted to throw in my two cents. I made some for the other brothers too ;)

Original Template by @/the-coldest-goodbye 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Lucifer is both sweet and caring. He would leave you a bit sore, but he knows how to soothe the pain and patch up some wounds. He would clean you up and then hold you in his arms so that the pleasure lingers. He is gentle and possessive when he traces your skin and leaves goosebumps behind.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

For Lucifer, it’s his arms and hands. Without them, he wouldn’t cuddle with you or perform some sadistic desires on your body. His favorite part of your body is your pretty face, specifically your lips and blushing cheeks. He loves tracing them with his thumb and kissing your lips passionately.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

Lucifer cums huge loads, and he cums multiple times in every position. He especially loves watching you swallow it or when it leaks down your mouth like frosting. Sometimes, it’s a bit much and spills over your face, or it’s leaking out your quivering pussy. His cum is bittersweet; its saltiness reflects his personality~

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Y’know how Lucifer ties up his brothers to the ceiling as a punishment? He does that out of love, if you could believe it. As for you, though, it’s simply for his pleasure; sometimes, he punishes you for the littlest things just to see you bounded with rope, all helpless and vulnerable. He admires his work well with a wicked grin the more he sees you struggling to break free. The tighter the ropes are, the more you will be writhing in frustration; Lucifer lives for that.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Lucifer is very experienced, as expected, but he won’t tell you how he got these experiences. Obviously, he punishes his brothers and ties them to the ceiling; that explains his sadism, but the sex is a mystery. It’s off the charts, so maybe deep down inside, he’s just a built-in sex god.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

Any position where he looks down at you with fear and pleasure in your eyes. Kneeling, giving him a blowjob, fucking you from behind, fucking you against the wall, or getting fucked beneath him give him his power. He also loves the positions where he restrains your limbs besides bouncing on his dick. Riding him could be its own form of pussy torture, but that’s only if you're getting punished.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Serious, of course he is, but he can be very teasing. If he’s in the mood to fuck the brattiness out of you, he will push your buttons and then punish you for it. He knows the game, and you almost hate him for it.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s very well-groomed. You can tell he keeps himself clean for any occasion, even when he doesn't need to be. The carpet matches the drapes perfectly, and he keeps it well-shaven and trimmed.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

Lucifer is so sweet; the affection he gives you practically seeps through your skin, and he knows that the more love he gives you, the more pleasure you will be drowning in. His touch is firm but laced with pride and passion, especially in the aftercare.

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

When Luci started falling in love with you, there were times when he had to relieve himself in unexpected ways. Of course, he locks the door to his room and jacks himself off, but there have been days when jacking off in his office was more exciting, especially when you walked in and did something unintentionally sexy in front of him. Getting a boner in the middle of the day is always so bothersome for him since it’s so obvious. He would just imagine your mouth on his cock as he pumps himself hard. Having you so close yet unaware of his desires was once thrilling until he finally got to feel your body against his.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Bondage and S&M are his prominent kinks. If it wasn’t clear already, having power over you is what he lives for. If you are comfortable being his slave, you will be collared and bound in rope or leather. He won't be able to control himself when you tap into his praise kink, especially when you call him “Master” or “Daddy.”

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

His room and your room, but also maybe his office. Fucking you into his bedsheets is fun, and having you fucked over his desk is risky; but damn, he always fantasized about doing it to you. If there is an empty classroom, he might try that, but that’s even more risky.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Anything you do can give him some type of desire, especially if it’s unintentional, like bending over to pick up something or reaching for something across a desk. Acting like a brat would definitely have you over his knee for a spanking; the sharp sting on your ass is a constant reminder of your place.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Seeing you making pacts and flirting with his brothers made him slightly jealous. It wasn’t phasing him at first, but the more he wanted you, the more possessive he became. Sharing you is a massive no-no unless maybe Lord Diavolo was invited to your little twosome. Anything that causes him to lose any sense of power or control over you is not nearly as bad as sharing you, but he prefers being the one on top.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers receiving it from you. It’s probably one of the only times you could take charge as you worship his cock and have him writhing in pleasure before he shoots his load down your throat. His skills with giving are god-like. He would eat you out and finger your pussy, only to stop and leave you begging for him to go harder and faster.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s slow and sensual if you prefer vanilla sex; he doesn't mind if that is what you like; his cock would reach your cervix anyway. When you’ve gotten used to his length, it’ll feel like the first time with more flare. When he goes rough and fast, you will be climaxing with a scream.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He doesn’t prefer them, but there are days when he wants you on his cock in the middle of class. When he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you into an empty classroom, that means he’s desperate and knows he can get away with it. He’ll be fine; he knows what he wants and will leave you wanting more throughout the day.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

If you like it a little bit rough, Lucifer can bring in more challenging positions or some more intense BDSM. Fucking in the office or an empty classroom is a risk too, especially if you are loud.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Lucifer can go for a long time if there is enough preparation. Usually, he stops if you’ve had enough of it for one night; he wouldn’t want to destroy you completely. Sometimes, he’s a bit exhausted from the student council work and dealing with his brothers, so there are days when you have to be the one taking charge.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Lucifer owns a whip, for some reason~ He’s got some rope to tie you up with, and at times, he can just use anything around him to spank you with, like a leather binder or a ruler. If he owns anything else, it’s probably something he bought to use on you~

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He would tease you if you were being extra bratty. He’s a serious demon, so he would always maintain a professional demeanor if you two were in public. The teasing is subtle, like when he gives your thighs a light caress or when he sneaks his fingers under your skirt to rub your clit through your panties.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He knows how to set his volume low; his grunts and moans are like a whisper on your skin, making you shiver. His breathing is also soft and deep; it always puts you in a trance. Some of his moans can be guttural if you tighten around him or deepthroat him. You can always just make him loud ;)

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

He can let you take charge at times; he loves you so damn much that he can let you be the one ordering him around or pleasuring you~ It was a bit humiliating at first, but it didn't matter anymore; if anyone had to order him around, it either has to be Lord Diavolo or you. You are his Master, after all~

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Lucifer’s cock is huge. It’s veiny and long with a crimson tip. He can grip his shaft in his hands, and its veins add to its girth. It’s almost overwhelming to look at, and you can't help but wonder if Lucifer is proud to have such a massive tool. He is very much proud~

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is mildly high, but he knows how to control it as if it’s not there. He can never show it around anyone; otherwise, he reveals his weakness to you. If his brothers ever found out, he would be livid.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

When the aftercare is over, he will make sure you are comfortable in bed with him. He will fall asleep shortly after you fall asleep.

[himbofan4444]

“Another day…” I say to myself as I walk through the parking garage. The is air still damp from the rainstorm yesterday. I look around. The garage is oddly vacant. Perhaps I’d come in when the buildings closed again. Determined to finish the day and get home quickly, I trudge past the puddles and cigarette butts. “God it’s freezing,” I say to myself, shivering.

I look around again. I’m used to a long walk to the stairs but today’s feels… really long. I can’t see my car but that’s all thanks to the thick fog that has been settled in town for a few days. I can’t see the stairwell either. The only thing I can see is the fog surrounding me. I sigh and continue my trek forwards, unsure if I’m even moving forwards anymore.

After a few more minutes of walking, I stumble upon an odd sight. In front of me is a shopping booth, something I’ve never seen the liking of before here. A faint concoction of aromas reach my nose: a strange mix of perfume, wood, leather, and some other implacable scents. At the booth stands a broad man. On the table, there are a variety of brightly colored liquids contained in erlenmeyer flasks. The man waves me over, a toothy grin across his dark, bearded face.

“Well hello there fine fellow! How can I help ya?” the man asks. His voice is gravelly and deep, the kind of voice that makes you weak in the knees.

“Oh, I’m not interested in buying anything, sir. I’m just trying to find the stairs,” I respond.

The man lets out a hearty laugh, “Please, call me Rohan! And I insist. I’ll even give you a hefty discount.”

I eye the flasks, taking in the colorful liquids. Each is bubbling and emanates an odd warmth, much preferable over the freezing air of the rest of the parking garage. “So, what are they?” I ask.

“Oh, just some herbal remedies. They’re very common in holistic medicine,” Rohan says, lifting up to of the flasks. “Would you like one, sir?”

“Oh I’m not sure if I should. I’ve tried these things before and they haven’t… agreed with me,” I say, letting out a small chuckle.

“Don’t you worry about that, sir. These are all natural. I insist, try one. Here,” Rohan picks up a pink one and holds it out for me. I reluctantly grab it and give him a half-smile. “That’ll be $5, sir,” Rohan says as he holds out his large palm. I search through my wallet and find a crumpled up $5 bill and hand it to him. He smiles and says with a certain satisfaction, “Have a lovely day, sir!”

I walk off with the flask in hand, still unsure of where the stairs are. I check my phone for the time. Shit! I’m late! I briskly walk through the parking garage but to no avail. I’m still lost. At least until I see my car. Damnit! I just walked in a big circle! Exhausted and angry, I get in my car and sit down. The car is almost as cold as outside, a small remnant of the heating still present. I start the car, deciding to head home.

Before I can put my foot on the gas pedal, my gaze drifts down to the flask in the passenger’s seat. “I should probably drink that…” I say to myself. I reach down and grab it, bringing the beverage to my lips. It smells like perfume. I lift the flask, the contents of which pouring into my mouth and down my throat. It’s almost unbearably sweet. So much so that it’s almost bitter. There’s also a strange salty aftertaste. I cough and drink from my water bottle, the flavor lingering in my mouth.

I drive home in silence, allowing myself to be bitter about today’s events as of now. As I drive home, I notice an odd, unfamiliar tingling in my butt. I itch it but it doesn’t help. “Maybe I just worked legs a little too hard yesterday,” I say with a shrug. Soon, my whole body feels tingly, almost numb. My work clothes begin to feel a bit tight on my body, specifically my pants. I’m sure I grabbed the larger size I have but maybe I didn’t. This morning was quite hectic after all. I shrug off the odd occurrence and continue my drive home.

On the way home, I pass a Starbucks and turn into the parking lot. I usually don’t buy such frivolous things, but I’d already bought that horrible drink so why not? As I walk inside, I notice a strange quality to my walking. Usually I have a quite confident strut but that has been replaced by something almost like a waddle. Odd.

Once inside, I’m finally warm. The warmth of the store is so refreshing. Before ordering, I sit at a table by the window. Sitting here feels weird. I’m not used to this amount of cushioning on these chairs but maybe I misjudged them. I take off my winter coat, setting it on the high top table in front of me. I catch a glimpse of my arms in my tight dress shirt sleeves. Jesus! I’ve always been in shape but I’ve NEVER been this big. I flex a small bit, blushing at my public flexing session. Damn, the gym’s been doing me good recently.

A short blonde barista walks over to me. She’s very cute but my still bitter attitude puts a damper on my lustful looks. She pulls out a notepad and a pencil, “Would you like anything sir?”

“Oh no-“ I clear my throat. My voice sounds less deep than normal for some reason. “I mean, sure. Could I have a vanilla latte?” Why did I order that? I always order black coffee, never that girl shit. The barista smiles and nods, writing my order down, “Got it. Is that all?”

“Yes ma’am,” I respond. Handing her the money for the beverage.

She walks off, immediately going to make my drink. I rub my throat. Why do I still sound so weird? She comes back over, my drink in hand. “Here you go sir,” she says, “Oh and by the way, I love your hair. Blonde is so your color. You look fabulous.” She walks away to serve other customers.

What? Blonde? I’m not blonde. I’ve always had brown hair. And… fabulous? Who does she think I am? One of those queers? Does my hair really look blonde to her? I pull out my phone and look at myself in the selfie camera. Jesus! My hair IS blonde! And it looks… curly. What the hell happened?! And my face… It looks off. Something is uncanny about it. I look like myself but also not… Like my lips look bigger and so do my eyes. My eyebrows look a bit neater than they should and my stubble is shorter than normal.

I get down from the stool, ready to leave and deal with this weird stuff at home. As I walk out, I feel a strange jiggling in my rear. I crane my neck around my shoulder to see what was going on with my butt. Holy shit! My ass is huge! I run out to my car, my big fat ass jiggling like crazy as I run. I quickly drive home.

Once inside, I strip off my damp clothes to assess the damage. My muscles do look bigger than normal, especially my pecs. They look like fucking tits. Jesus, they’re huge. My ass is enormous, any movement causing it to jiggle wildly. And that tingling in my ass still hasn’t gone away. I look like a poster fag. Like the dictionary definition of a faggot. Fuck…

I go up to my room and find a cardboard box on my bed. After opening it, I see a huge pink dildo and a pink jockstrap, both the same color as the drink. The dildo is easily a foot long. I shiver in disgust looking at the items. An odd feeling comes from my ass. My ass is tingling worse than before, specifically directly in my asshole. God I just wanna shove that dildo up my ass… No! I can’t be thinking like a fag! Looking like one is bad enough!

I shove the grotesque items back into the box and chuck the box across the room. I look at myself in the mirror, hesitantly touching my pouty lips. They feel almost numb, as if they aren’t real. Come to think of it… I feel my pecs and my ass, both having the same numb tingling. Oh my god…

My body stiffens up, my back arched, showing off my large muscle tits and fake fuckable ass. Goddamn why am I thinking like that? Against my will, my buff arms reach up and turn my baseball cap, which had gone from a cream color to a black and pink one, backwards. It’s like a switch got flipped. My brain goes from active and agile to slow and dull. MY thoughts become more lustful and… gay.

Damn, I wish Rohan fucked me earlier. He like totally has a huge dick. I pout, crossing my arms across my inflated chest. My heads turns, facing the discarded box. My body prances over to the box and extracts the faggy… I mean sexy things. I pull the pink jockstrap over my big round ass, doing a few hops to see my bubble butt bounce in the elastic material. I snatch up the massive dildo and lay in my bed, my thick beefy legs spread out. My body instinctively shoves the dildo as far up my ass as it can.

My hole feels oddly loose despite the lack of penetration it’s received. My brain pushes those thoughts into the garbage, conjuring up new memories of me being fucked by hoards of men, each hung like a horse and concerningly aggressive. I let out shrill, feminine moans with each thrust of the toy. Each thrust causes my room and house to become more pink and slutty looking. My wardrobe emptying of my work clothes and instead having pink slutty outfits. My bed begins vibrating, my old bed replaced with a vibrating one.

I cum out of my shrunken cock, my small load leaving me gasping for air. I’ve never felt this much pleasure in my whole life! I sit on my knees in front of the full length mirror in my room and take a picture for my Daddies.

This is me now, a stupid, horny, bouncy slut for any man who’ll take me in for the night.

[wakeup01]

Slip ‘n Slide

(2,000 follower special)

On the floor. Now! Put your face where it feels like it should belong bitch! Fuck, you can’t help doing what you’re told, can you? Good. I could tell by the first message you sent me, you were a needy slut. Message after message, needing validation, my attention. My time. But my time comes with a cost. Now it’s time to pay. Let’s get this done while your mind is horny and numb. Feel your body start to become more pliable. Compressing down, reshaping. Let it wrap around my smelly foot. Don’t resist, just let it happen. Let yourself become what you were destined to be. You don’t need arms, don’t need legs. All you need is an opening for my feet to rest; so open wide and let my foot stretch you out. You don’t need to move, to speak. You just need to exist, to be present. To complete the pair. To sniff and suck for eternity. A simple rubbery form designed to cushion my steps. Covered in a bunch of branding to signify your role as a product, uniform and non-unique. Disposable. A slide.

Size 11. That’s what you are. A size 11, Adidas slide. It’s what your label says. That’s how I’ll refer to you. ‘My size 11 adidas slide.’ What I’ll tell people when they notice you. ‘Yeah they’re new, look well sick, don’t they?’ And no one will question otherwise. No one will ever wonder why you smell of feet, why you don’t move or talk, or why you’re left lying on the ground - it’s just normal. You’re a literal footnote, barely worthy of remark.

No, you don’t belong to me, you belong to my chavvy feet. My toes, my arch, my sole. They own you. And my feet are gonna make sure you know that all too well. Your job is to protect them after all. That’s really the only use a filthy slide like you has. And I wear my slides without socks. How else am I going to make sure you smell like my sweaty feet? My juicy toes pushing into you day after day. Listening as the world goes by without your presence as if nothing had happened. Smelling my intoxicating scent as I hang out. Watching as the floor flies by underneath you while you worship my sole.

You WERE a person - had a name, a personality, and now you’re a fashion item for me to show off. Hate it all you want right now, but it won’t take long until you regard yourself as such too. Your mind irreparably warped by my constant heavy impression. By the bitter, salty musk clinging to your entire length. Soon enough, you’ll be happy to do your job. Feeling privileged for my kindness. Proud of that label sewn into you. That barcode number. Smelling my cheesy boy feet was something I chose for you. It must mean you did something right, right?

And you did. You whiffed my feet and gave up your body for something better. Something smellier.

An assortment of cheap materials. My slide. My latest fucking conquest. Accept my foul foot as your new god and prepare to fucking worship the sweat dripping from it. You’re finished!

Hahaha. Glad to add you to the collection, loser. Why should I ever have to buy footwear when there’s plenty of pathetic foot suckers just dying to stay at my feet. Permanently. You loved sliding into my dm’s unannounced, and now I’m gonna slide my big pungent foot into you. Enjoy, fuckwit. I know I will.

[senseandaccountability]

“It takes the wrong sort to put the world right.”

A huge problem for me with the tone of the narrative is that outside a very carefully curated playthrough experience with preconceived ideas of and love for Solas, Veilguard is probably the least compassionate game I’ve played in forever, while spouting out lines about how everyone can find a new path in life because our nature isn’t written in stone, our fates are our own, as well as plenty of HR department lines about working together as a team.

“It takes the wrong sort to put the world right.” The game says that, but it definitely doesn’t mean it. At least I don’t feel it. You are so very rarely challenged in your idea of who this wrong sort is and what they could bring to the table. Davrin speaks of the Wardens recruiting at the Gallows but you meet only adorable, righteous and charming ones. The Crows aren’t the wrong sort anymore, they’re just adorably Antivan upper class. And so on and so forth. Rook certainly isn’t the wrong sort either, they’re mentally around 19 years old and stumbling their way through the world like some romance novel protag. In one of the most thematically shallow plots, Rook gets thrown into a prison of regret fit to hold a god but unlike Solas, Rook doesn’t do regrets or guilt because Rook isn’t that complex. Rook hasn’t been allowed to feel any guilt for three acts, just how are they meant to be stuck in a regret prison?  

Compare with Origins where you yourself could be just that wrong sort that would put the world right. ALL of my Origins PCs would get stuck in Solas’s prison due to the weight of their own fuckups. If not during the game events where you could make shitty moves en masse, then because of their origin stories. Brosca and Tabris would get out of there through sheer fury alone - fuck you, I am a wreck because YOU MADE ME ONE, WORLD OF THEDAS - but the nobles would stew. Amell would loop in some guilt trip regarding blood magic and Jowan and whatnot.

Compare with Origins where Loghain is a piece of shit for most of the narrative. He actively wants to kill you and your Order, it’s nothing personal (okay, a little personal) but he just needs you gone. If you want to, you can hack and slash your way through some release there and just have him executed. BUT the game also challenges you on that idea. It presents a very pragmatic alternative that comes with a very plausible downside (you lose Alistair). It presents not excuses but explanations - do with them what you will. Loghain has people in his corner through the entire trilogy, arguing his case. Cauthrien FALLS TO HER KNEES before you, pleading to spare his life. Threnn in DAI will stan him for the rest of her life. Anora tells you stories about the man behind the name.  And Arl Eamon’s world view and idea of Loghain is shown to be more than a little self-serving when faced with the politics of the Landsmeet. Things around Loghain blur. In the Ostagar DLC they allow things to blur even further when Loghain’s pragmatism is countered by Wynne’s player character-moralism (ie “someone died, it’s always wrong if someone died even if that death prevented 9000000 deaths you KILLED someone!!!!!111”). Origins tells me - or hints at - why Loghain became the wrong sort, shows me ways in which he is also the right sort and leaves me wondering about him. Because the game is gritty and dark and weird but also yes, compassionate. If you execute him, Anora will mourn him because she loves him regardless. If you have him join the Wardens she will sit with him while he recovers because he is undeniably an asshole but he’s also her father who braided her hair and showed her the world. A good narrative never, ever forgets that.  Veilguard feels so different here, maybe it's just me. I'm pretty sure I'm almost done being salty now, I just... feel a lot about narratives.

[runninriot]

No Time For Romance

written for @steddiemicrofic

february prompt: rose | wc: 367 | rated E | tags: Sexual Content/Bathroom Blowjob, Rockstar Eddie Munson, Normal Guy Steve, Established Relationship

They don’t have time for romance. No candles, no roses, no sweet-talk. Not when they barely find a moment of peace between shows and interviews. Time where they can be alone – no cameras pointed at them, no one demanding their attention.

“Hurry up, baby!”

“Not my fault you always wear the tightest pants! How am I supposed to get you out of these? They look like they’re painted on.”

“There’s a thought, maybe I should switch to body paint. You wouldn’t have to undress me at all.”

Steve isn’t sure if Eddie’s joking but it would definitely make this easier.

“Baby, come on,” Eddie whines, needy as always, “You’re killing me.”

“Keep complaining and you won’t get to come at all.”

It’s an empty threat and Eddie knows it but he keeps his mouth shut anyway, behaving for once.

Finally, his cock springs free and Steve wastes no time to sink to his knees.

“Oh, fffuck! God, your mouth’s- ah! So perfect.”

Steve flicks his tongue around the tip, letting the salty taste of skin and sweat and precome fill his senses.

Post-show Eddie is his favourite flavour. Probably his favourite version of Eddie, too, if he had to choose. When he’s pumped up with adrenaline and Steve is the one that gets to taste and touch and fuck him like this. Not the people who desperately wish they could get a piece of him; this is all for Steve.

Encouraged by Eddie’s praise, he takes him deep, holds himself down until his lungs scream for air. He’s moving his head up and down, swallowing Eddie’s cock like it’s his last meal, feels high on moans that are too loud not to get them caught.

And right on cue, there’s a knock on the bathroom door.

“Coming!” Eddie yells and it doesn’t take much before he makes true to his words, spills his release down Steve’s throat.

The moment ends to too soon, like always.

“Can’t wait for this tour to be over, so I can take my time with you. Gonna shower you with roses and love you so good,” Eddie promises before he kisses him long and deep.

And for now, this is enough.