#THEY DID HER DIRTY ONCE AGAIN
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Did Harry really won against Beyoncé? Did that white men with a mediocre album at best really won AGAINST RENAISSANCE BY BEYONCÉ?
No words
#Beyoncé#Harry Styles#grammys#HELLO?????????#WHAT IS GOING ON?????????#THEY DID HER DIRTY ONCE AGAIN#LIKE HOW THEY CAN EXPLAIN HARRY'S HOUSE WINING AGAINST RENAISSANCE
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Sharon "depends on where you're standing" Carter, they could never make me hate you.
#sharon carter#agent thirteen#agent 13#film talk#film talk: the winter soldier#hubs is rewatching and i am once again mad about how they treated emily and did her and sharon dirty#personal
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a woman and her daughter were on my tour who were descendants of one of my favorite guys involved in the boston tea party (partly bc i find him and his catastrophic marriage fascinating and partly bc he's portrayed by a man i consider a good friend) and said she didnt know much more about him than the name
and i got to tell her about his elopement, and who his closest friends were and i wish i'd had more time to talk to her further but i got her the contact info for our research dept
but she got a little emotional when i was talking about him as a young man with friends who went to parties by the river and made his best friend his best man at his wedding, and i got the sense she'd never thought of him like that before
and idk man thats what its all about to me. im sure when she gets in contact with nick, she'll get more substantial biographical stuff, but it felt really nice to turn an old name into a normal 23-year-old for this woman
#messages from the ouija board#sadies day job#i think it also touched her to see that i really cared about her ancestor. bc he is like. NOT a founding father type. most of the guys aren#but im like joe??? my friend joe????? betsey hunt palmer's husband? james condy's best friend???#anyway once again im talking about joseph pearse palmer on my blog#i did not tell her he probably killed himself. she can find that out from nick and kristin in research#also did not tell her theres like a 50/50 chance shes not biologically a descendant depending on which of his daughters she comes from#bc the second one super duper is not biologically his. but she gets written into family trees as such a lot#but like. some guests u dont get the sense want their family's dirty laundry handed to them by a random tour guide
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And after all these years, Martha Jones still deserves better
#how did they do her dirty once again 💀 not even a MENTION#doctor who spoilers#i guess?????#star.txt#also ik the toymaker didnt mention her cuz she left and didnt lie but like#*die#if anything donna could have asked 14 about her in an off-hand comment at the end or smth#i wasnt asking for much barely a crumb and i got NOTHING
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Mushroompaw's name looking hefty ironic now that they're having the worst luck ever.
now to be fair. mushrooms arent exactly a sign of luck to this clan
#i once again reiterate that mousegrove did her so dirty. but it is a really cute name. so i get it#chitchat#ask
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sometimes i think about... the sort of delicious treats that the scientists would like to eat... do you have any ideas about what sorts of things they would gravitate towards. for a meal or a snack, either or, really. i need treats for their enclosures
giving them the lil treats!! god knows they need the sustenance
UMMM. for snacks I think Prism likes both salty and sweet. I'd like to think she grew a fondness for the little baked treats given to them by the Agency, but when she quit she tried to avoid eating things that reminded her of them................... by the end of ieytd3 i think she'd try them again though. If her bobots don't bring her homecooked meals/snacks she just forgets to eat anything. For some reason I thought she'd enjoy seafood especially when pairing it with her cocktails.
For fabby, aside for her wine and poison treats and antidote chasers... I think there's a lot of those french treats that she likes. bread and such especially, though she avoids eating stuff in her workshop (the crumbs get everywhere...) perhaps she'd also enjoy cake. And also anything with cheeses!!! She has a refined palette but these lil treats make her so excited. Cheese especially. Give this french woman some cheese.
Solaris..............she needs so much foods with her stature. I think she'd be willing to eat a wide variety of things. She still forgets from time to time like the other hardworking girls, but I feel like she'd prioritize it a little more especially post-Death Engine. Food's important. I'm stealing this idea from you though she would Not want to touch orange juice ever again. Do the Swiss love their cheese too? Her and fabby could have a little cheese date
#i expect you to die#ieytd#roxana prism#the fabricator#commander solaris#some part of it i got inspired by their flavor profiles on their character sheets#... except for solaris. schellgames did not have to do her SO DIRTY#WHY IS HER FLAVOR PROFILE BURNT .... MEAN TO HER.......#anyways giving them a little treats#also based on what my french partner says: the french love their cheese#i cannot deny. i love cheese and im not even french. it's divine#gene answers#the-valiant-valkyrie#took me a bit to answr because i am once again reminded#that i fucking suck at answering trivia questions KJSDF#fabbylaris#only tagging for the cheese date
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man i thought i moved out to escape my family but it turns out i've jumped from the pan into the fire because holy shit my guys what the fuck??
#at least at home we have people competent enough to not flush wet wipes and tampons down the toilet#let alone FOOD???#and we don't leave our dishes out for so long by the sink that they start to RUST#like ok my lil brothers make a mess sometimes and accidentally shat on the floor a few times but at least they're fucking children why tf#should i deal with shit water because of your incompetence#and yknow i can deal with noise. im the noisiest at night at home b/c i always go shower late but im not fucking SCREECHING and chatting#so loudly you'd think i was at a concert or some shit#and this bitch?? can't comprehend i just want to not have crumbs all over the couch???#like girl. how did this become a slight against you. why would i ask you to keep the couch clean b/c you slept there once or twice#BITCH I CLEANED THE COUCH COVER ON MY OWN DIME *BECAUSE* I KNEW YOU MIGHT SLEEP THERE AGAIN & WANTED IT TO BE CLEAN FOR YOU#YOU NOT ONLY INSULT ME BUT ENTIRELY MISCONSTRUE MY KINDNESS TOWARDS YOU??? WHY WOULD IT BE DIRTY B/C YOU SLEPT THERE???#you can't make this shit up i hate having roommates holy hell#only slightly made up for by the fact i get a room to myself these days#the other one smells like weed all the time and the other other one doesnt wash her hands properly after using the toilet + keeps her dishe#out by the sink + doesn't pick her hair up#also i'm the youngest so that's just even sadder#i was also the youngest last year and bitch. you have no idea#this is what being the eldest sibling does to a mf#not really related but they made the ugliest doormat ever i wish i had been there to stop them from that atrocity#and why do they not take their shoes off. girl i mop the floors like every 2 weeks#it's fucking clean trust me just take them off bitch#am i being holier than thou? probably but fucking DESERVED#i can't be taking care of people two years older than me like this. yall have too much fucking drama
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✨it's your highness, princess nighty✨
this ver of gender bent nightmare belongs to @shynetyme06!!
the other night in the bonus is made by me >:D
#my art#utmv#nightmare#nightmare sans#fem!nightmare#I DID IT!!!! i finally drew her hh omg this was so hard to make xD#i'm already struggling to draw my own familiar designs with a mouse so you should've seen me trying to mimic your pretty hairstyle :'D#i literally flipped the canvas and never put it back too hh xD i did your girl so dirty man</3#okay but i just COULDN'T draw her as cute as she is in your art you're just too strong >:')c lil darling dream is next on my list probably-#wouldn't want her to feel left out xD#also gonna redesign my own night once i feel confident in my ability to make a full ref again :'D#man i need to sleep but eh getting to bed can wait until i post this >;D <3333
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i'm sorry if you genuinely think bozzi and leclerc "copied the other driver/engineer's strategy" i canttttttt take you seriously
#do any of you understand how this team shit works. how this pre-race strategy meetings team shit works.#or calling this win 'lucky' be for reallllllll#i dont generally go for the block button but that should be an immediate block#its just fascinating the thought processes required to avoid admitting some of these guys are just good at their jobs#possibly better than others.#there's thoughts in me about the ways fandom 'character analysis' trends intersect with the way people talk about f1 on tumblr/twitter#while just completely forgetting or ignoring not just the competitive sports of it all but the very real ways the teams operate#did you guys know ferrari has a whole 'remote garage' of engineers in italy that tune in every race just to analyse data in real time#and feed back possible strategies to the pit wall that then get discussed and acted on based on drivers feedback?#do you GENUINELY think its just bryan bozzi leaning over fred's shoulder to copy adami's homework#you know ferrari has their very own hannah schmidt? maybe not as good as her but there's a dude in there whose job is 'tell us what to do'#maybe you could learn his name it might be helpful#sorry AND ONE MORE THING#how do you call yourself a leclerc fan and then turn around to call this a lucky win#it required outqualifying his teammate#it required taking advantage of the situation around him to jump lando at la roggia#it required sticking close to both mclarens in dirty air and taking a gamble on the early pit stop#it required 37 LAPS ON HARDS THAT NEVER WENT BELOW OR ABOVE 1:23:000 EXCEPT ONCE#and yes it required required teamwork. as most wins do unless you have a rocket under your ass (and/or don't know how to use it)#the only lucky part was lando once again fumbling the first lap and george taking himself out at turn 1#but you understand he still had to drive the rest of the 52 laps himself right. god#its too early for me to be this mad
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It's really nice having a free housekeeping service thru my Medicaid but ever since my regular housekeeper that I had for a year (now friend) got promoted in March it's like every other person I've had fuckin hates disabled people
#there was one perso who would drive by my house to clock in (your location has to show that you're at the client's house) and leave#found out when i called and was like hey why has no one been showing up and the office was like it shows shes been clocking in there what??#apparently i wasn't the only one and she got fired#and then we had a woman who treated my shift like it was her break time#i mean she would sit at our table and eat a full meal and talk on the phone as loud as possible instead of cleaning#she'd clean for 20 minutes usually just dishes then spend the rest of the time eating or playing on her phone or on a phone call#she would put away WET TOWELS i mean they were more than just 'damp'#and once left a full unflushed shit in our toilet with shit stains on the toilet seat#i remember once she sat outside in our front yard on a phone call and when i went out there to ask what was going on#she was just like ''im on the phone'' and ignored me#i asked for her not to come back several times and they sent her 2 or 3 more times#and then i got a new lady who just straight up lies to my face#i give her a list of what i need done for the day and she will only do the dishes#then sit at our table and be like ''oh i got everything else done I'm just waiting on laundry''#and then I'd look to see that actually nothing else was done at all counters dirty floors dirty LAUNDRY NOT DONE#i confronted her last time#i was like ''hey I've asked for the bathroom to get done the past few times now and it hasn't been''#and she was like ''yes I did clean it'' so i wiped my hand across the sink and showed her the dust and grime stuck to my fingers#and then didn't clean it again that day. and said sat at the table saying she was waiting on laundry. and no laundry was done#and said she swept the living room which absolutely was not swept#bc I'd get out the vacuum and she'd be like ''oh i can just use the broom'' (on the carpet??)#I'd get the bathroom cleaning supplies out and she'd just put them away#and i dont mean that im being super picky about wanting things cleaned prefectly#or thaf she's ''not doing it right''#she's literally not doing it at all#i told my friend/ex housekeeper about this and she told me that every other person who's had her also asked for her not to come back#oop she's here. it's gonna be her last time i called the office and set it in stone this morning that she wont be coming back#.bdo
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I keep imagining Lummis and Petunia in different outfits but never Flower, they always stay in their black pants and white shirt getup unless for special occasions, and I think the funniest possible explanation to this is if they have like 20 pairs of identical pants and shirts
Which makes sense if they're the Pure Vessel. Just throw something comfortable and practical but still okay-looking by noble standards on them when not on duty and sew a shitton of these bad boys for them, it's not like they have an opinion or preference or even need to be fashionable. Basic stuff will do.
The side effect of this is the fact post-reveal they still wear the same goddamn thing 7 days a week
And also they're autistic/neurodivegent in general. Having a duplicate or two (or 20) of their favourite comfy outfit is handy, and finding new clothes that don't have Bad Texture or annoying tags is a chore and a half.
#thylacines can talk#faaf au#lummis and petunia (and their other friends) didnt question it much. they did think its a little weird at first but they didnt see them#every day anyway and just figured oh this guy must be neurodivergent#the idea that their mother played dressup with them and they have a shitton of outfits from that stoll presists. post-reveal they return to#their room one day and theyre all there on their bed and desk. they're not sure if its a gift from their mother or if she just wanted to#get rid of anything that reminded her of them. but they'll take it.#however theyre all mostly very fancy outfits so the couple that dont have Bad Texture they save for special occassions and official events.#they have a couple outfits made by Hornet and Herrah but again these are usually saved for special occassions. they don't want to get them#dirty while fucking around with their boyfriends and friends. and Ghost. they do have a few casual outfits from them but they still mostly#wear their good ol' white shirt and black pants combo. Hornet is tempted to replicate their style perfectly but in different colours#because Holy Shit Dude wear something different than black and white for once#now that i think about it i did give them The Exact Same Shirt But Purple for an alternate ref so you know what? canon#it was bc I was doing an art trade with 3 other friends and they all picked purple bitches so i went oh I need to fit in
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since maintenance has (i think...?) started . . .
MAY ALL HUO HUO WANTERS BE HUO HUO HAVERS !!!
MAY ALL ARGENTI WANTERS BE ARGENTI HAVERS !!!
MAY ALL SILVER WOLF WANTERS BE SILVER WOLF HAVERS !!!
MAY ALL HANYA WANTERS BE HANYA HAVERS !!!
HAPPY 1.5 EVERYONE 🫶
#may the stars guide you <3#i will once again be waking up at like 3 am for the update bc i have no classes on wednesdays aHAHHAH#huo huo my daughter.... i might have to get u on rerun.... its not ur fault ur banner has 4 stars i dont need... its the devs fault....#crying why did they do her so dirty but make argenti-sw banners so good ..... hanya lynx + asta....#meanwhile huo huo gets dan heng arlan + serval.... crying#but also 1.6.......#but also possible fu hua expy one day bc of marshall hua............. but huo huo......... daughter huo huo.......................#welp. for now im not going to pull on either her or second phase banners and save for either 1.6 or 1.7 depending on who gets drip marketed#im very excited for the story tho.... but also penacony pls.... i love the luofu but atp it feels like its dragging on 😭#<- she says this as a luofu cast stan even tho the devs could have ended the story better imo ;w;;;;;
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Self-Immolation: Jote x Joshua (AO3)
Jote would never abandon her duty, could never imagine sullying the nigh-sacred bond between them with her own shameful desires. There would be no take, only give, and she would give him her all: her prowess, her skill, her very will, even her name, if need be. She was the Phoenix’s Attendant, and she would embody that title with the whole of her being, if only to protect their bond.
Ultima, as the fiend's machinations would have it, could not suffer such a bond to survive.
Torn between duty and desire, Jote's resolve falters, to potentially disastrous consequences.
Excerpt:
Caring for him was her duty, after all, and she would not allow him to prevent her from carrying out said duty—especially when he needed her more than ever. Jote squeezed a half-ilm of salve onto her index and middle finger, then smeared it onto his reddened skin with the gentlest touch. A shift in the air between them tickled her nose, and she heard him bite back a sound in his throat. So it was painful, she noted. Ignoring his reaction, she continued around the crystal, the pads of her fingers slowly dissolving the paste into his wound. Her thumb soon joined them to hasten the familiar process. Too familiar, apparently, because with his next soft breath, her attention began to wander, lingering too long on the light freckles peppered across his collarbone, the flush on his neck glowing red in the firelight, the bob of the muscles in his throat as he swallowed. What she wouldn’t give to press her palm to that bare skin, let her fingers trace the constellations on his skin, soothe the stress from his muscle with a loving touch— Jote squeezed her eyes shut and banished the thought. Guilt bled into her stomach as the color in her cheeks faded away. Gritting her teeth behind her stoic expression, she redirected her focus to the crystal at the center of his wound. As her fingers finished working his flesh, she grazed it with her thumb, taking note of the faint pulse of alien energy, its rhythm asynchronous with the thumping of his heart.
#ffxvi#final fantasy xvi#joshua#jote#joshua x jote#fanfic#ao3#because square enix did her dirty#liah gets into another game with poor writing but incredible characters#and once again must add even stronger female characters#there were a few points in the game i asked “was this written by david cage????”#i love my blorbos though
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okay one of my flatmates is really fucking starting to piss me off lmao
#i am away for. Four days.#i come back. 10 pm. the shared compost bin i washed and left to dry in the rack the day before i left is still where i put it. instead of#moving it (Extremely Simple Fucking Action) she has chosen to dry her dishes by balancing them on the rim of the sink. the sink itself has#food scraps in it. jars with bits of food still in are standing on the counter and i know from experience i'll snap and bring those#to the recycling bins before she does. i start scrubbing things because leaving My Kitchen unclean upsets me on a molecular level and she#walks by and all she says is a grunted hello#and i could tolerate this ALL FINE i could think ah she's just busy probably! but when other flatmate (beloved) and i attempted to initiate#a chore chart system so that kitchen and bathroom get regularly and properly cleaned#at the end of the month she was like well i hate kitchen duty because i don't think i should have to clean up your messes. i cleaned the#kitchen once this month and an hour later it was dirty again. woman 1. sorry for fucking using the kitchen 2. you cleaned the kitchen ONCE?#in a MONTH? 3. you did not fucking clean up our messes. i know for a fucking fact i was putting away your dishes on a daily basis i would#looove to know what the fuck you considered cleaning up my mess#anyway. long story short thank fucking christ she's moving out at the end of spring semester otherwise i'd snap and write her a very#pettily snide whatsapp message
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*flopped down on a couch w/a glass bottle of apple juice to make it look like i'm drinking beer*
yeah... yeah i'm fine.... just coming to terms w/the fact that i must use javascript in order to achieve my vision w/the neocities...
#the main reason i haven't just abandoned this particular aspect of the Vision(tm) is bc it would be useful for like.#more than one thing. so it's like. le sigh.#(reading the documentation for tippy tooltips tonight so that i can sleep on it n try to implement it tmrw or something)#why is it always js.... please god spare me at least a Little bit of suffering here i'll never sin again etc etc#speaking of sin i've started speaking more candidly abt my queerness w/the kids at work this week#it's nice to talk to the older kids (as in fifth grade or older) bc even tho like. nine years old is when they start to be tolerable#they lack awareness n life experience. today i told the older kids that i like men but in a gay way#n one of them was like 'i don't get it' n then i reminded her of Gender:tm: n she was like 'ohhhh i get it'#n the two guys also listening were like 'what. i still don't get it.' ONE OF THEM ASKED ME IF I WAS AMAB ACTUALLY LOL#n i was like 'what? that's not important.' but that was really surprising! kids usually read me as female#so it was kind of flattering in a way to be asked 'were you born a boy?' like idk how he's trying to process my gender#but i'm going to flatter myself into thinking the question comes from him like. idk clocking some kind of innate masculinity or w/e idk#花話#anyway it's Crazy that it took me almost a year to not feel like i'd get instantly fired for telling kids i'm queer#Not going to lie it really felt like i'd never get to this point but it really is kinda just once you start it gets easier#(though to be fair i also wouldn't have told Any of the kids Anything had one of them not started acting like 'gays' was a dirty word)#(n i just Looked at him n said 'you know i'm a queer right?' n he was like 'O_O')#when i worked at homophobic summer camp i do remember daydreaming abt telling my boss i was a 'flaming queer'#i'd have put my feet up on her desk n everything as i made direct eye contact w/her but ofc i never did anything like that.#anyway! i will slep now so that i can get back to work on my projects tmrw morning
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The Heir - G.S.
Synopsis. No, your clan leader husband won’t stop until he gives you an heir. No, you don’t think you’ll make it out alive.
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, clan leader! Gojo, established relationship, he’s cray-cray (for you), bréeding - like a LOT, oral (fem receiving), unprotected, creampíe, marathon, séx, running from it, use of “my wife”, overstim, FÉRAL Satoru, absolutely heinous, mentions of kníves and bIood, pet names, swearing.
Word count. 5.3k
A/N. Guess what ya girlie is back with clan leader Gojo hehe.
An heir to the Gojo clan - no matter how small, how weak - could eradicate all three of the big clans before even being born. Much like their father.
You knew that. Satoru knew that. And, unfortunately for him, so did the stuck-up old toad currently sputtering across from him.
“I am not asking for permission.” Satoru smiles, deathly calm. “Simply that everyone vacates the Estate. After all, what the madam wants, the madam shall get.”
“But- but young master! It’s madness- An heir can tip the scales of power like never before!” The elder lunges frantically over the meeting room table. “I cannot allow- a-and considering the madam’s lowly lineage-”
Schwing!
They say that the infamous young head of the Gojo clan has a katana as hauntingly beautiful as he is - a blade of pure white, with a sapphire hilt. Though, there wasn’t anyone left to tell the tale - and Satoru wasn’t about to let that change anytime soon.
The long, deceptively delicate sword glints sharply against Satoru’s humorless grin, and those cold, cold eyes. Unblinking - crazed, as he hums, “What did you say about my wife?”
The man in front of him can do nothing but yelp in fear, “I- it could- the scale of ah-”
“No.” The freezing cold blade presses deeper against skin. And Satoru’s tutting, “Try again.”
“Th-the madam!” Pathetic tears stain those expensive tatami mats below, every shred of previous ego wiped away as the elder’s forced to echo his words. “It is no lie that her b-background is…unsuitable-”
Oh this was why Satoru hated these meetings - and for once in his life he’d been the one to summon it instead of being forced to attend. What a joke. If only this elder had agreed to vacate everyone in the Estate like he’d wanted, then none of this would’ve happened. Seriously, how hard was it to get some alone time with you?
Satoru sighs, blue yukata rustling as he grips the hilt tighter. “Do you know why you’re here, advisor? Why any of you little council of elders are still here?” And he doesn’t wait for an answer - couldn’t care less about it anyway. Plowing on in that same sweet, dangerous tone - as if scolding a stubborn child, “My lovely wife is kind, you see. Too kind. Doesn’t like for me to get my hands dirty.”
He lets his arm retract slightly, as if giving up on the conversation topic at hand. And oh for all his wisdom, the elder should’ve known better than to let the silence lull into one of safety. Should’ve known better than to let out a breath of relief. Relaxing - ever-so-slightly, to be stupid enough to mutter, “S-see young master. I told- you-”
Because this was Gojo Satoru, and he’s chuckling - and that was never a good sign for anyone but you. “She’d make such a perfect mother, don’t you think?”
---
SLAM!
You startle - there was only ever one person that dared to kick open the doors of the Gojo Estate that way, like he was out for blood.
Eyes tearing from your window towards the now-splintered doorway and-
Oh. Oh shit.
Your voice dies in your throat as the metallic tang of blood hits your nose - followed very shortly by the realization that this was your husband. Towering figure leaning against the frame, gaze frantic - bouncing off everywhere but you, fingers twitching on the stained handle of his katana, looking for all the world like he’d seen a ghost.
What the fuck happened?
“Satoru?” you breathe. And the sound of your voice his eyes finally snap to you - widening, like he’d finally noticed your figure standing there. Like he was seeing you after a thousand years. Stepping forward in concern, “Are you o-”
You’ve barely made it two steps before Satoru’s closing the distance in a split-second, dropping to his knees before you with a harsh thump!
You wince at the sound, but if it hurt then he doesn’t show it. Anything but - in fact, looking more blissed out than you’ve ever seen him as he lets his prized katana clatter to the floor, looping two powerful arms around your waist.
And it’s times like this - when he nuzzles his cheek against your stomach, sighing in contentment - that you forget about those blossoming stains of red on his yukata. None of his, you bet.
Threading your fingers through his soft hair, you repeat, “Are you okay, Toru?”
And oh.
Oh, it only takes those words - and your sweet sweet voice - before Satoru’s entire body jolts. Taking a sharp inhale, fingers trembling as they clutch onto the fabric of your yukata. “An heir.” Words strained, ragged. Some deep, visceral part of himself peaking up at you through those hazy, half-lidded eyes, “Would you give me an heir, my wife?”
You weren’t making it out alive.
You’re gasping - partially because of his words, partially because that’s all it takes for him to yank you down. Sprawling you out like such a slut on the floor. “Wha- an heir?”
It’s not something you expected him to even consider - that sleepy, quiet little pillowtalk from earlier today where you’d mindlessly wondered out loud whether your husband was ready for kids. Hell, Satoru was never a morning person, so you didn’t expect him to even have heard the question let alone this.
Nosing at your racing pulse, whispering, “An heir. You think I’d ever deny you, pretty?” Like he couldn’t believe it himself - sharp canines nipping at your neck, “My heir.”
It’s like it was the only thing he could say - could even think about right now as his lips burned a path down your jaw, into the valley of your breasts. Muffled, “N’ now we have the Estate all to ourselves, so I can ruin you as much as I hah- want.”
And for the second time today, you’re actually registering that this wasn’t the same yukata your husband had kissed senseless in before the meeting. Or, at least, those patches of red were new.
“Satoru…” You pull his face back.
“No- no no please- Come back-” you squeal when he just drags you across the floor by the hips, pressing you up against that massive bulge, back to sloppily kissing the underside of your jaw. “Was jus’ one I swear- m’sorry about gettin’ the fabric dirty.”
“Satoru.”
“Wasn’t gonna break you where everyone could hear right?”
And fuck he doesn’t wait to hear a response, no - it’s been far too long, and every little scold from you has all the blood in Satoru’s body rushing to his aching cock. His lips are crashing onto yours, so desperate and needy.
“Sa-toru!” you manage to squeal through the way he sips at your candied lips. Letting out pained, breathless little grunts like each swipe of his tongue against your mouth was driving him insane.
“Shhh shhh, m’here m’here.” he pants into your open mouth, hands wandering everywhere. Cupping your ass, your breasts, nudging open your jaw to let him suck so filthily on your tongue. “Fuck- m’here.” He’s licking up the drool pooling at the corner of your mouth already, “N’ m’gonna ruin-” One hand makes its way to palm your clothed cunt, “-her.”
But, alas, no matter how many times Satoru’s done this before - it never gets any easier, or as less heavenly of a sight for him.
With you all disheveled and splayed out for him, your tits almost spilling out of your yukata with the way his hands have been so greedy. So thoughtless.
Satoru groans, dipping his head forward to peck messily at your lips. “Mmm- ” Pulling back just enough to mutter, “Gonna let me breed this pretty cunt, hm?”
It’s all you can do to give him a half-delirious little nod of agreement, lower lip wobbling at just how hungrily he was looking at you. Eyes wide, lips curling into a crazed smile, fingers trembling with anticipation as he deftly works on untying your robe.
“Is my wife gonna give me a pretty baby?” He gasps out, strangled. “An heir?” He presses a sloppy peck to your glossy lips, strings of spit snapping when he breaks apart to whisper. “One to take out all these dumb fucks?” Again, so dizzyingly. And again. “Oh how I’d love to see their fuckin’ faces.” And again and again and again. Kisses punctuated by that little mantra - “An heir. My heir. I need you to give me a baby, pretty.”
And then your yukata’s being pulled down your shoulders, the expensive fabric ripping down the side with the way he was so ravenous. Goosebumps prickling down your skin as fast as Satoru can get his hands on every inch of you.
“Oh, look at you.” his jaw falls slack, palms kneading at your soft breasts. “Fuck- the mother of my kids.” He rolls his thumb over your hardened nipples, rubbing lazy little circles, “I need to- fuck!”
Before you know it he’s pinning your arching body down onto the floor. One hand easily pinning down both of yours, the other angling your lips back onto his, a knee wedged between your damp thighs.
You whine at the feeling of Satoru’s thigh rubbing up against your drenched panties.
But he could barely hear - fuck, you didn’t even know if Satoru was breathing with the way he wraps his pretty pink lips around one of your pert nipples. Eyes rolling to the back of his head, cheeks hollowing as he sucks - harsh.
“Need to fill these up- s’gonna be so sweet. So full.” he’s blabbering into your tits, tongue rolling around your sensitive nipples. Incessant, like he was somehow trying to draw out milk. “I can only hope they hah- share, right?”
You buck your hips up, mewling as your throbbing clit catches on the dips and curves of the muscles on Satoru’s leg. “P-please, Toru. Don’t tease.”
And oh, when has he ever denied you? Hell, Satoru would burn down this entire world and himself if it meant giving his wife anything and everything. Especially the future mother of his kids.
With a final, playful bite, you watch with glassy eyes at the way he dances his lips down. Slow. Teasing. Eyes locked with you all the while like some sort of predator cornering his prey.
“And this-” Satoru stops halfway down, pressing a deep, sultry kiss onto your bare stomach, “Oh this. Gonna be so round n’ pretty. Absolutely glowing f’me, right? Fuck!”
Snapping his head down at the feeling of your grinding your hips so sluttily onto his legs, slick seeping through your panties and onto his skin.
“Oh.” he sighs, awe-struck. More to himself than you at this point, “You can kill me if you’re not with my heir by the time we’re done, pretty.”
A promise.
And with it went whatever was left of Satoru’s poor sanity - and whatever pathetic chance there was of you making it out of this alive.
Immediately, Satoru fists your flimsy panties in his grasp. So see-through they were practically useless anyway. Reveling in your panicked little gaze as he pulls - rips them clean off your dripping cunt.
“Oh god- There we go.” he moans, hooking two arms underneath your legs and pushing up, up, up - all the way until your knees were pressing up against your tits. Your lips wobble when Satoru takes the time to admire your pussy, breaths coming out in feverish little puffs to watch the way you glisten and clench at nothing. Licking his lips - salivating even - at the sight of your slick beading through your puffy folds. He runs a thumb along your sopping wet slit, “Better wish her good luck tonight.”
And, usually, your husband was refined - he teased and toyed with your poor cunt until you were begging to have an ounce of friction. But right now, it’s a wonder he doesn’t get whiplash with how fast he’s pushing his face into your pussy.
“Mm-” Satoru’s eyes roll to the back of his head as his tongue laps at your dripping wet cunt. Tipping his head back, back, back to let your sweet sweet juices slide down his throat. “Fuck that. Even luck won’t save you from me- hah-”
“Toru!” you arch off the cool floor as he cards the tip of his tongue between your puffy folds. From the base of your sloppy entrance, all the way up to your throbbing clit. “Hngh- s’too-”
He was going too fast too soon.
You whine at the palm pushing your unstable hips flat onto the ground, holding you still while Satoru licks all over as he pleases. “Now now, how are ya gonna ngh- fuck so sweet- handle later if ya can’t even handle this, pretty?”
Sucking on your clit in such a messy, open-mouthed kiss. “Fuck. Shouldn’t have told me about an heir.” he’s murmuring into your cunt. Harsh - rolling his tongue against the sensitive nub in a way he knows will have you crying out so prettily. “Fuuuck you shouldn’t h- oh- Ohhh, look at you, my wife.”, breathing in deep, ragged gasps of air only to go deeper. “Fuck- just look at you. You’re so wet I could fuck you just like this.”
As if to prove his point, he’s urgently bullying the tip of his tongue between your plushy walls. And it was true - so pathetically true. You take him in so easily.
Somehow, you manage to crack an eye open to spy downwards - only to be met with Satoru’s eyes already on yours. Hazy, curtained by his messy hair, swollen lips curving up to flash you such a devilish grin as he squeezes his tongue past that feeble, first ring of resistance. In and out in and out in and-
“Ohh. Squeezing me so fuckin’ tight.” His jaw grinds deeper, nose flush against your clit. “Ya like that idea? Like the thought of me p-painting ah- slutty pussy white already?”
Your embarrassed little whine isn’t enough of an answer for your husband. No, he’s pressing his fingers - all glossy and covered with a sheen of your slick - onto your pulsing clit. Just barely grazing in a way that has you crying out.
Making out with your cunt so sloppily, “Tha’s more like it.” Heavy eyes boring into yours - goading, even, for you to give more of a reaction. “Fuck- use those words, pretty. Scream.” Satoru’s fucking into your sloppy hole the way he’s been dreaming to do with his rock-hard cock. “After all, we h-have the Estate all to ourselves, right?”
Faster. Sloppier.
Pushing and pulling his tongue in a way that has you sobbing, “Yes! Please- wan’- ngh” Thighs squeezing around Satoru’s fervent head, “W-wan you to jus’ breed me, Toru-”
Oh.
Fuck, you might’ve just signed your will away at this point.
Because in a split-second, you’re cumming.
Shit, were you glad that there was no one in the house. Sobbing out a broken whine of his name, fingers white-knuckled on Satoru’s hair while you gush all over his pretty face. Just dragging your sloppy cunt all over his mouth - using him through your high.
And he’s more than happy to be dragged and angled all you please. Greedily lapping up your syrupy sweet juices, just dipping his tongue into your hole to feel the way you clench around him.
But it’s not long before Satoru’s pulling away. Swallowing a disappointed whine, you gape up at the absolutely feral man looming above you.
Lips plump and glossy, your juices dripping all the way down his chin, his jaw. Teeth bared, a pretty pink blush dusting over those cheeks - and you have half the mind to wonder how high the kill count actually is. Whether you’d be on it, too.
“Heh, kill count?” Satoru grins, teeth grazing so dangerously over your racing pulse. Shit, did you say that out loud? “Funny, real funny.” And with that, he’s thumbing apart your swollen folds, biting his lips at the sight of your quivering hole. “Wonder if our- hah- kid’s gonna have your-” Without warning, he spits. Once. Twice. Gliding the pads of his fingers along the thick globs of spit on your cunt, “-humor?”
And oh how ironic it was for Satoru to be groaning out sweet little spiels of what your kids might look like, when his fingers were anything but.
Stretching out your gummy entrance, having the audacity to laugh - laugh - at how desperately your pussy was trying to milk his fingers.
“Y-you’re so mean-”
“And yer killin’ me- ohhh you’re gonna be the death of me.” he mutters - strained. Depraved. Hastily pushing apart his yukata. He hisses, “Fuck-”
You can’t help but gasp at the sinful sight before you - Satoru’s blush reaches down his sculpted chest, down, down, down all the way to his painfully hard cock. Curved against his abs, already so angry and soaked with precum. Giving you a pretty little peak of those veins glistening against the dim lighting.
Before you even know what’s happening, he’s circling his fat, weepy head around your sloppy hole. Slow, lazy patterns to tease your cunt. “Can only pray m’not dead before I see ngh- fuck- my heir.”
It’s like something breaks. And Satoru’s remembering that no, this isn’t just any child - it’s the next Gojo. That grip on the base of his swollen cock tightening when he slips past your pussy lips.
“Oh! Toru- f-fuck wait s’too big-” you keen, nails digging into where his yukata was sliding off his milky, sculpted shoulders. Hard enough to break skin. “It’s ah-”
“No.” he spits into your sagging mouth. “No no no no- wait fuck- ngh squeezing so fucking- tight.” Hips pushing in quick, shallow little thrusts to squeeze more of his achy head inside. “Fuck- fuck fuck fuck hold on. Need this. Need this so bad- please!”
And you can’t do anything but arch into his touch, scrambling up onto your elbows to- shit, that was a bad idea.
Because one look at the sight of your poor cunt, all bulging and stretched out on Satoru’s massive cock was enough to have you running away.
You’d barely made a movement to escape, feet flattening on the floor to buck your hips because shit it was too much. And it was a useless effort, anyway, because Satoru’s dragging you back so easily, pulling your limp body deeper down his swollen cock.
“Need this. Need this need this so bad, pretty.” he groans, barely even halfway in yet. Still pushing, still relentless. “Need to breed this cunt so bad.”
Some tiny, useless part of Satoru’s rationality knows that he should slow down - maybe give you a second to relax. To maybe even breathe. But he was out of control now, hips stuttering and wrenching forwards like he couldn’t stop.
So he’s simply gripping onto your shaky thighs harder, sure to leave neat little indents of his nails to admire tomorrow - or, whenever he gets back his sanity, that is.
Satoru hisses at the way you’re so pliant below him. Limp, letting him rest your legs on his muscled shoulders. “Think I needa manhandle ya more often, pretty.” Pressing down, down - all the way until you were folded in half beneath him in such a mean mating press. “Can’t- can’t stop-”
The change in angle makes you scream out Satoru’s name - and it makes him bottom out. Finally.
Fuck, you weren’t making it out alive.
“Oh.” he grunts at the feeling of his heavy balls smacking against your ass, his fat, leaky tip kissing against your cervix. God, if Satoru was any less of a man he thinks he could’ve cum just from the feeling of you trying to suck him up already.
“Oh- oh my god-” you gasp when he presses down about halfway down your stomach, Pressing down for that bulge, hard. “You’re in s-so deep ngh- S’like you’re pushing into my ngh- lungs.”
Fuck, if you talked any more with that pretty mouth then Satoru was bound to pass out. Blindly, he’s feeling for your pouty mouth, kissing and nibbling at your wobbling lips like a subconscious apology. For what was to come, that is.
Because Satoru Gojo spares no apologies when he starts moving - finally. Finally fucking you the way he’s been dreaming of all throughout that droning meeting.
And he says so - a little over fifteen times, in fact, while he splits you apart on his cock.
“-n’ when I was negotiating those ngh- c-clan deals. N’ when I was at that meeting-” he gasps, shoving your legs so far apart it burned. “S’all I could hah- think of. Everything - don’t give a fuck if I got a contract wrong.”
Each word was punctuated by a rough, harsh ram of his cock, stretching out your gummy walls so far apart like he wanted to make his mark there. Pushing - even when he could feel his aching tip nudging at your cervix.
So merciless - violent even - with the way he’s slamming back into you. Molding your plushy walls to every ridge and curve of his massive cock. It was impossible to even form coherent sentences with his harsh pace.
A large hand flattens beside your head as Satoru’s thrusts get deeper. More purposeful. You almost sob at the sheer pressure when he dances his fingers down to rub quick, methodical little circles on your clit. “Toru-” you moan, like a prayer. “M-more.”
But it wasn’t enough.
“More.” Satoru breathes, more to himself than anything. And shit at that very moment you almost understood why even the most hardened of clan leaders feared to even look at Gojo Satoru wrong. Because he was giving you a sopping, fucked-out smile, eyes widened, voice trembling, “You want more?”
And of course this was the strongest. Of course, he was ruthless.
Of course, it takes him exactly two seconds to pull out of your heavenly cunt and flip you onto your stomach. One hand coming under you to angle your hips up until you were on all fours - like some ragdoll. The other feverish, distracting on your clit while he bullies his achingly hard cock past your sopping entrance once more.
“Fuck!” your voice is hoarse when you scream. Teeth gritting because fuck the stretch was too sinful and Satoru’s hips were too harsh. Too hellbent on fucking into you like he’d lost control. “O-oh please, Toru-”
He doesn’t waste time easing you into it this time, picking up where he left off with that maddening cadence. And you were glad he had an arm on your hips because your knees were weakening with each thrust, slowly sliding down the floor before-
“Aw, my poor girl.” you hear Satoru coo from above you. Muscled chest rubbing up against your back, “S’alright. M’gonna take care of it. You jus’ hafta take it- jus’ take it like the good lil’ wife you are.” his body bows into yours, strands of white sticking to his forehead. “N’ I’ll take fuck fuck fuck- care of everything.” So sloppy with his rhythm, pushing you further and further up the floor with each movement - only to reel you right back so easily. “I’ll wash ‘em and hah- clothe ‘em n’ t-teach ‘em to take over this godforsaken society. To protect their momma.”
“T-Toru-” you squeal as he only gets more erratic. “I’m…”
“Hm?”
He didn’t even have to ask - he could feel the way you were squeezing so hard around him, like you were trying to suck the fucking soul out of him. The way the only thing you could get out was his name.
His perfect wife.
Sobbing out, “Close! So close. Wan’ cum- Ah! Please-”
He was losing his fucking mind.
Biting down so hard at the crook of your neck to keep himself from cumming before you, he moans deliciously, “Then cum. Fucking cum. Please- wan’ you to cum on my cock.” Wrists aching with how desperate he was moving, “Cum- yeah yeah yeah fucking- cum- Cum for your husband.”
Oh, if heaven was real then whatever was left of that part of Satoru that could still form coherent thoughts knew that this was it.
Watching you fall apart like such a slut all over his cock. Not even realizing it at first - just that your eyes are rolling to the back of your head, swollen lips falling slack, letting out such a pretty cry of his name that he can’t help but cum, too.
You don’t know who’s more far gone - you, with your head spinning, a lewd little ah! ah! ah! leaving your mouth each time Satoru fucks you through your high.
Or him, gushing out in thick, hot ropes of cum that overspill from your snug cunt.
“So muchhh.” you whine, heavy head being held up by your husband. “S’too much.”
And he knew what you were talking about - because Satoru was cumming and cumming and cumming so hard it was like he couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to stop. Because he was mesmerized by that creamy trail of white drooling down your folds, forming an obscene ring at those tufts of white at his base.
“Too much?” Satoru hisses. “Too much?”
You can only give a barely-lucid nod, whimpering when he doesn’t ease up. Not one bit, in fact, Satoru was only abandoning the hand playing with your ravaged clit to press down on your abdomen. Hard.
“There we hah- go. Better now?” The hand supporting your head forced you to look down below, at the sticky mess of white covering your cunt. Slobbering all over Satoru’s cock - even down to his thighs. “Now we got fuck- more space.”
You don’t even realize you’re scrambling away until Satoru gasps, panicked, “No no no- we’re not done, pretty. Fuckkk we’re far from done.” Fingers tightening around your neck to pull you deeper down his cock, holding you in place. Just dragging you along his length. “Gotta make sure it takes. Why else d’you think no one in the Estate will be back until tomorrow?”
He doesn’t wait for a response - not that you could give one, anyway, with how you were being fucked dumb on his cock again.
A strong, powerful leg hooks around yours, pushing you down with his body weight. “So that we ngh- h-have enough time to prepare for my heir.” Weeping head grazing all those sensitive spots so expertly. “T-to plan and and- ruin you and- fuck you feel so good. They’ll be the most powerful- hah- jus’ watch. Those fuckers better w-wait and see.”
So debauched and fucked-out that you don’t even know what he’s running his mouth about now, just heavy, urgent words slurred into your neck while he fucks you just as sloppily.
“Don’t know?”
Fuck. You said it out loud again.
And the embarrassing realization has your eyes screwing open, gazing tearily back at an amused Satoru. Well, as amused as he could be when he was just as wrecked as you.
Kissing your sweaty forehead, hips reeling back all the way until your cunt was missing the stretch - bucking traitorously against the fat mushroom tip grazing your entrance. Making a mess of precum down below.
“S’alright, pretty.” he groans, sandwiching his cock between your puffy folds. “Because you just have to sit there n’ ngh- take- it.”
If you thought that Satoru was broken before then he was absolutely ruined now.
Because there was no reason or rhythm to his actions now - just mindless, feral movements to milk his cock as much as he physically could on your pussy. Running only on pure need and the thought of you round and so full with his kid.
“Ah!” you’re startled out of your reverie by something wet. Whirling sluggishly to catch the tears of overstimulation brimming at Satoru’s heavy eyes - shit, you wondered if he even knew what he was doing at this point. “T-Toru…you- ngh- o-okay?”
The only response you get is an unsteady nod.
“-the best.” he whispers, twitching balls squeezing so painfully with each slap against your ass. Faster. Absolutely soaked with the sinful concoction of your juices and his cum. “We’ll be the best parents- ngh-” And fuck it was so much - too much. Too good. Painful pleasure.
Enough that all it takes is another, sloppy thrust before he’s seeing stars behind his eyes again. Cock twitching wildly inside your cunt as Satoru shoots load after load of cum to paint your pussy white.
So warm with his cum - him - that Satoru’s body moves before his mind. Pooling the mess down below to nudge back into your cunt. “C’mon, pretty, c-can’t get ngh pregnant if ya don’t oh- cum.”
And it’s so embarrassing how that’’s all it takes for you to reach your high with a strained, barely audible moan. Voice shot, your own orgasm nothing but a few tingles that have your thighs fucking back into Satoru’s.
“Satoru- Satoru Satoru Satoru.” you mewl, big fat tears streaming down your cheeks. Birds of a feather, they say.
Hypnotized. Drunk off the feeling.
And, evidently, Satoru was, too.
“Pretty…” his voice rings in your ear. Tinged with a tone you know didn’t bode well for you - or your poor, overfilled cunt. Bloated and dribbling already. “Are- sure- ngh-”
And with a jolt, you realize he’s still moving. Still pushing and pulling in languid, slow strokes. Thighs shaking as the fatigue wears on him.
If anyone saw Satoru like this, they’d have a heart attack. Flushed your favorite shade of pink, the lower half of his body well covered with a sheen of your obscenities. Eyes teary with sensitivity, cock still twitching and so angry as he clears his throat and tries again, “Are we- hah- sure it took?”
“Wh-what-” you gasp, breathing in big, deep inhales. “Yes- yes yes- oh my god it’won’t-”
“It will.” Satoru’s interruption almost comes out as a whine. And he’s more sluggish, dazed when he flips you over onto your back again - not too difficult, with the way you were practically splayed out already. “Th-this pussy is made to take it, right? T-to be bred by me?”
It’s almost like Satoru was begging for confirmation, plugging back in the excess of what was leaking out of your abused pussy. It was spreading in a lewd little pool now, seeping into the non-existent space between you two.
But oh how Satoru loved it. Couldn’t tear his eyes off of it, in fact as he noses at your neck. Barely even thrusting anymore, just raw grinds, “Right? Gotta make sure- ngh- heir. Oh-”
He’s darting his tongue out to lick at the beads of tears streaming down your cheek. The salty taste on his tongue having Satoru’s hips stuttering forwards. Again. And again - alternating, not on purpose - between hitting your cervix and that bruised g-spot. “Gonna give me an heir? Ohhh fuck fuck fuck- lemme breed this cunt?”
You’re using up every bit of energy left in your body to give that slow, shallow nod. Which is all the time it takes for the pool to spread even wider. For Satoru’s fingers to stumble their way back to play with your clit.
Rolling his thumb over in a harsh, uncalculated pattern - if you could even call it that, just jerky, obscene movements to get you off.
And it works. Hell, the two of you are barely in the state of mind to even feel it. But he’s finally cumming again, and so are you.
“Ngh- Fuck-”
With a loud, pained cry Satoru tightens his grip on your body like a vice. Raw, sensitive, overusing his cock until it felt so empty. Until you felt so bloated it was like you could explode - or maybe that was your own orgasm. “Toru- c-cumming.”
You’re not sure, anymore. And you don’t know if either of you could bring yourselves to care at this moment, not when your eyelids grow heavy. Vision tinging with black in the corners, and the only thing you could see was your husbands face - sweaty, eyes almost closed, kiss-bitten lips moving in a soundless whisper. “-the best- momma.”
A/N. CLAN LEADER GOJO SAVE MEE. Oh yeah the “can’t get pregnant without the momma cumming” bit was based on this old tale I’d heard where people used to gen believe that.
Plagiarism not authorized.
#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#tonywrites
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