#THE sex god boyfriend
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For my lovely anon from this request: "jealous!reader if james was to be flirted with? and like how james would react to it."
Hope you enjoy it!!
"Who does she think she is?" you asked to no one in particular, you eyes trained on the hand of some bimbo who obviously doesn't understand personal space.
You had been looking for your boyfriend, wondering what had been taking so long, only to find him... preoccupied.
Sirius is the first to notice the look you're sending across the room "Uh oh" he lets out causing the others to turn to you "Someone's jealous"
Your brows furrowed together as you tore your eyes away to look at him. "Who me?" you say baffled "Why would I be jealous? I am perfectly fine" you scoffed
"Your drink would say otherwise" Marlene smirks eyeing the crumpled cup in your hand.
Your eyes widen dropping the cup on the table next to you. "Shut up" you mumble.
Lily rolls her eyes "No need to be jealous, sweetheart. Everyone knows he's yours, practically walks around with 'property of y/n' stamped on him"
"Listen here, Red" you start "I'm not jealous, got it?" you say pouring yourself another drink
Jealous pfft why would you be jealous? You are in a perfectly secure relationship with the most loyal man in the world, how could you be jealous?
The others brows raise in response, "Surrre you're not" Remus says taking a puff of his cigarette.
"I'm not! Who would I be jealous of huh? Blondie over there? The one who's been eyeing James from across the room the whole time? The one who had his quidditch number on her cheek during the game? The daft, dense, mindless little tart who is currently trying to make a move on my boyfriend" you let out with a sarcastic smile "Puhlease, I am totally unbothered"
"Riiight" Sirius is the first to speak the rest looking at you amused. "Well then good thing you're unbothered because looks like she's getting comfortable over there"
In an instant you're out of your seat, heading over there. Leaving behind a smirking group of friends.
"Anyone got popcorn?" Peter asks leaning back in his seat, ready to watch the event unfold.
---
James had just wanted a drink, now he was stuck with some random Hufflepuff girl whose name he couldn't be bothered to remember. Molly? Polly? who cares?? She was becoming way to touchy for him to care.
"Uh yeah" James nodded agreeing to whatever she had been saying whilst trying to shift away.
James' sense of discomfort eases when he sees you making his way over to him. His lips parting as he takes you in. You looked really fucking hot. You were wearing his extra jersey which, with the help of magic, you had made bigger and cinched in all the right places to create a dress. A dress that left James drooling the moment he saw you this morning, not only did it accentuate your curves but it brandished his name. Everyone knew you were his girl and Merlin did he love it.
"Hi darl-" he was cut off but your lips pressing into his. Your fingers threading through his hair tugging softly, whilst pressing closer to him. James hummed in delight pulling you into him his hands travelling down to your ass, paying no mind to girl awkwardly watching the scene. This was not the greeting he was expecting, but who was he to complain?
When you finally pulled away you giggled at his dazed state, straightening his glasses and wiping the lip gloss from his lips as he looked at you with glossy eyes.
The girl coughed, turning your attention to her “Oh sorry! did I interrupt something?” you exclaimed in faux surprise, smiling at the obviously irritated girl.
“Yes actually” she scoffed “Me and Jamie were just making hogsmeade plans, weren’t we?” she pouted looking towards him, only to find him watching you with wide eyes and a stupidly adorable smile.
Jamie? The. Fucking. Audacity.
“Oh were you?” you smirked stroking the back of James’ head “Is that true, my love?” you sent him a soft smile.
“Huh?” he murmured letting his eyes trail over your body.
You couldn’t help out but let out a laugh watching the girl scowl.
“Jamie” you gained his attention cupping his cheek.
“Yeah”
“It’s rude to not respond baby, she’s asking you something”
“Oh” he blinked “ What was the question?” he asked keeping his eyes on you.
“Whatever” The girl scoffed walking away.
James payed her no mind, pulling you back into him kissing over your face.
“You. Look. Fucking. Ethereal.” he emphasized kissing you after each word
“Mhmm could’ve seen me in something better if you weren’t distracted” you teased, pouting as you trailed a finger down his chest.
James’ head filled with ideas of what that ‘something better’ his breath catching before he caught up with your words.
“Distracted?”
“Mhm with that girl” you say eyes drifting to the Hufflepuff, who was still watching, complaining to her friends.
James smirked as he saw the look of disgust on your face. Were you jealous?
"Find something amusing?" you raised a brow, pulling away "Were you having a nice time her?"
"With Polly?" James chuckled "I couldn't give a shit about her, love."
"I thought her name wa-"
"Who gives a fuck?" James deadpanned pulling you back into him "Why would I care about her when I've got all this" he reasoned running his hands over your body. "As if she could compare to my sexy goddess of a girlfriend"
You couldn't help but smile all your worries washing away, you leaned up whispering in his ear "Yeah well your sexy girlfriend has a present for her champion boyfriend" kissing under his ear before continuing "A red lacy present"
James groaned, his pants tightened as he burrowed his head into your neck. "I should make you jealous more often"
" 'm not jealous" you roll your eyes
"Whatever you say princess"
You locked eyes with the girl over his shoulder, smirking as he kissed at your neck.
So maybe you were jealous? It doesn't matter. Because at the end of the day, your sex god boyfriend only had eyes for you.
#THE sex god boyfriend#iykyk#james potter x reader#james potter fanfiction#james potter#james fleamont potter#james potter fic#james potter fluff#jealous reader#james x reader#james x y/n#reader insert#reader insert fanfiction#aaron taylor johnson#loml#marauders fanfiction#marauders x reader#james potter imagine
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Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(
#autism#neurodivergent#adhd#fun facts#GOD I’m such an idiot#anyways now a 10 year old is out there looking up swear words online and it’s all my fault :(#I got so excited by the fact that I knew a fun fact#that I didn’t stop to think that maybe not everyone knows that fun fact for a reason :(#it’s like explaining how to successfully bury a body at a book club#or explaining the dangers of Scientology to your sister’s boyfriend the first time you meet him#or debating gay sex positions with your best friend in front of your mom#no matter how much I wish to be a beacon of knowledge in this world#sometimes there are things others just don’t want to know#and consciously that’s valid but the autism ? I does not care
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fallen angel worshipping your body for the first time. eyes widening in adoration, as though seeking salvation in your flesh alone. his fingertips ghost over your soft skin, lips murmuring praises against your bare neck- warm and desperate-before he takes you raw.
"you're so divine," he groans in your ear, his large wings shudder, feathers rustling as he thrusts deeper into you-eager for more. his faintest whispers send shivers down your spine. "forgive me, love.. heaven was wrong. you were made for me. only me. understand?"
#monster boyfriend#monster bf#lucifer#monster x reader#hierophilia#blasphemy kink#blasphemy#religion kink#religious kink#angel x demon#fallen angel#devil x reader#demon kink#demon smut#corruption kink#bd/sm corruption#nsft concept#biblically accurate angel#monster nsft#teratophillia#monster imagine#monster smut#monster fucker#god complex kink#church sex#worship kink#praise k!nk
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How much of Link/Sidon is just people simping for the shark man and using Link as a self insert for that, and how much does it actually feel like a genuinely well set-up potential romantic pairing? Never had the time to play botw or totk (swamped with schoolwork) so this has always intrigued me.
Asking because you occur as the tumblr user with the most based opinions on these sorts of matters.
On one hand, in general, link as a silent protagonist doesn't have the easiest time developing a rapport with NPCs enough that I could confidently say any of them are "well set up romantic pairings". the vast majority of his characterization outside of how you the player interpret him comes from the memories feature in botw, which is understandably very focused on his relationship to Zelda rather than NPCs he has yet to meet. However. With that said. There's yaoi there for real. Sidon is immediately so obsessed with link he's like omg bestieeee hiiii ^_^ like that shark dude loves him
In totk u go to the zora domain and Sidon has had a statue of link riding on his back put like front and center in the city. Sidon has a fiance in totk but this does nothing to dissuade me because imo Sidon is the kind of guy who doesn't think it's cheating to kiss the homies and I think his fiance seems based enough to agree. He and link are both busy guys so do I see a committed relationship working? Probably not. But does he drop in to lanayru every now and then to swing? Absolutely. I believe this.
#Totk spoilers#Totk#Botw#When I first played botw I was like God I'm so sick of hearing about this shark man everyone wants to fuck#Then I started the zora quest line and was like nvm this guy is my boyfriend#Sidon and link have a warriors bond if that means gay sex sometimes that's just how it is
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a guy basketball player, a girl basketball player, and her teammate sit and watch a hyped basketball game that has the son of a basketball STAR playing in it, and mfs say the guy's got two girlfriends because that's clearly the only likely common denominator that can explain why they're all hanging out together.. at this basketball game.. and they're all basketball players.. and it's a big basketball event... which is known to bring in... basketball players.. but one's a handsome guy and the others are pretty girls so. Fuck that logic huh. 2 girlfriends
#pg and kawhi go to games with each other and aint nobody saying two boyfriends except us lonely souls down in delulu fun land#and that would make some more sense cus it's just two people hanging out and not 3#but god forbid there be a ship between two guys getting a lil popular bcs why cant we just let friendships be friendships#until it's not two guys and it's two girls who are basketball teammates and a guy who's a basketball player as well#going to a... omg. the most ROMANTIC date scene EVER#for a boyfriend and his 2 girlfriends we always recommend this 5 star romance rated event#... WATCHING SOME DUDE YOU KNOW'S KID PLAY BASKETBALL!!!!#let's have sex on the floor Right now#all of us#together#...SHUTTTTT THE HELL UP#god forbid women exist without a man's commentary
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Vincent Price as Nicholas Van Ryn
Dragonwyck (1946) // dir. Joseph L. Mankiewicz
#vincent price#Dragonwyck#film noir#gothic#gothic horror#my goth boyfriend#photo#photo edit by me#nicholas van ryn#fuck hes hot#I TOTALLY WANT HIM TO LOCK ME UP IN DRAGONWYCK TOWER AND USE ME AS HIS SEX SLAVE#Im fine. totally fine#ahem#*composes myself*#bicon#bisexual#god#horror#old horror movies#vintage#movie#actor#handsome
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Okay maybe I totally missed it in the story, but I’ve gotta ask: how did Jake find out about Ice and Mav?? I know there was a line about “figuring out who Bradley’s dads were” in Debriefing, and it seems like Jake definitely knows by the carrier for the mission, given how he reacts when Bradley says he’s gay and that they “hate him for not being able to hide it like them”, but when was the discussion about exactly what Ice and Mav are to each other? At what point did Bradley tell him, and how long did Jake spend staring at a wall and saying “huh” in a dazed sort of way???
i admit i made it confusing on purpose and i admit there isn’t much of jakes reaction but yes
it’s the third “he was my dad.” specifically about ice. whereas the other two are about goose & mav. because, you know, there are three of them. dads, that is. ice just happens to be the third
Jake canonically doesn’t know what’s up with the holy dad trinity because he doesn’t even react to seeing goose btwn ice (fucking cdr of the pacflt) and mav (his fucking CO) in that old top gun photo —only cares about goose. clueless-ass mf. and the homosexual little “what is with these two!” during the first practice dogfight.
but i bet there were clues. a lot of little things that eventually came together.
a.) scrolling through the navy times on his laptop in bed cause he’s bored one night, tilting it over so bradley can see the screen and read the headline, ‘RADM tom Kazansky named pacific fleet commander,’ just randomly asking “whaddaya make of this guy?” and next to him bradley freezes and almost refuses to speak and then snipishly says, “he’s gay.” / “what?” what a wild thing to say! / “i just know it. he’s gay. look at him. hiding it like that.” / “what a weird fucking thing to say about a guy you’ve never met, bradshaw!” / and bradley going all silent and sullen the way he does sometimes and saying “well i don’t think anything of him. whatever.” / and then both of them put it from their minds and never talk about it again.
B.) all the quiet little dad-related breakdowns over the years. Father’s Day is never happy when bradley’s around. jake made the mistake of asking him why, once. he said something to the effect of “well with three of them you’d think id be statistically likely to get a dad who wasn’t unbelievably fucked-up or dead but nope! it’s three times as bad as usual!” and refused to elaborate. bradley is often annoying this way.
c.) the fact that capt mitchell, maverick, who looks like a gracefully-aging movie star, is by all accounts nice and charming and mostly-ish respected, and yet apparently chronically single, a confirmed bachelor for as long as most officers can remember. hondo knows something, clearly, but he’s being very cagey about it, apparently out of loyalty to maverick. even on day ONE of the special training detachment at Top Gun, there are rumors. Some more mean-spirited than others (looking at you, harvard) which Jake tries to shut down, because he remembers being on the receiving end of mean-spirited rumors like that, and rumors about a guy like maverick probably aren’t true. ‘I’ve heard about him. Whispers. Watch him the next time we hit the Hard Deck. He’ll flirt with Penny the bartender, and she’ll flirt back, but he sure as hell won’t take her home. You know what I mean.’ Yeah right. dangerous to make comments about a man like maverick. jake keeps his mouth shut.
d.) but then there’s the way bradley acts around him. They’ve met before and they know each other and there is not only bad blood between them, it’s blood that’s been simmering for a while and just now boiling over. Three dads. the maverick-related rumors. hmm…
e.) that picture of goose and mav and ice. OKAY. Now we’re getting somewhere. Bradley’s dad… LTJG nick bradshaw… FLEW with maverick. Looks up the obituary online and reads the news reports he can find in the archives. Maverick was behind the stick when goose ate it. Okay. Two out of three dads found and accounted for. (Because they’re broken up, and because jakes still heartbroken, this fact will be used as ammunition. “Or that maverick was flying when his—“ “YOU SON OF A BITCH!” et cetera et cetera.)
f.) on the flight deck shaking hands with the commanding officer of every commanding officer jake has ever dad—admiral tom kazansky, come to wish the aviators good luck, and to sanction their attack. this is, like, a big deal. like a really big deal. like, makes you wanna stop and ask him for a selfie to post on your LinkedIn to advance your career kind of big deal. but out of the corner of his eye… jake’s noticing Bradley on the verge of a dad-related breakdown. bradley doesn’t seem to care how much of a big deal it is to have the privilege to shake the hand of the commander of the pacific fleet. isn’t even looking. something big and hateful between them. something like bad blood. oh oh oh. wait. It’s coming together.
g.) poking fun at him. psyching him out. what’s a little pre-suicide-mission hazing between exes? what is with you, bradshaw? you’re, like, freaking out over here..! —and Bradley, looking for someone—anyone!—to trust, tugging him into his cabin on the aircraft carrier and bursting into tears and crashing down onto the linoleum into jake’s arms and saying “he was my dad…!”
h.) bingo.
#time to go be a conscientious boyfriend!#reactions can wait till later!#and oh boy there will be some reactions. YOU NEVER FUCKING TOLD ME YOUR DAD WAS THE COMMANDER OF TJE PACIFIC FLEET#YOU NEVER FUCKING TOLD ME YOUR DAD WAS A TOP GUN INSTRUCTOR???????#OH MY GOD the CDR OF THE PACFLT IS GAY WHAT????#there are a loooot of fights and arguments and makeup sex post mission before they get good again#& then jakes like yeah ill marry this guy i guess#a good strategy to marry into a wildly successful family#jake hangman seresin#bradley rooster bradshaw#hangster#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#icemav#top gun maverick#asks#once again an apology that my fics are 99% icecentric#i just think he’s neat#moving into my dorm tmr so might be MIA for a minute
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I kick names and take ass
#dave lizewski#kickass#hot#aaron taylor johnson#evan peters#my sex god of a boyfriend#foine#actor#movies#superhero
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most aro moment in my teenage years was when my friend was feeling sick in the bathroom at a party and her stupid ass boyfriend tried to tell me to leave to give her space and I was like. No YOU leave. I've known her for years, I have the say here.
He was so shocked (I usually don't get openly mad at people lol). It's still unbelievable to me that he even thought he had the right to send me away just because he had boyfriend status. like what in the name of amatonormativity
#god I still hate that guy#he was one of the first people who told me that I can't know if I'm ace if I haven't tried having sex yet#well look at me almost 10 years later and still fucking ace#dickhead#don't mind me I'm sick so I'm in a mood and I've been thinking about all my friends shitty shitty boyfriends#mai rambles
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a thing about lestat is that he will never ever pass up an opportunity to call the middle class bougie killjoys who lack insight into their own motives and can't hang for even a solitary second but this will not stop him from going home to them to get his insides rearranged.
#lestat: i am above gender norms and also god#also lestat: i like it when manhood is a prison my boyfriend cannot escape and he's obsessed with his broken relationship with the church#adds a certain desperate zing to the sex#also also lestat: when my mother cross dresses [blackbox noises i the shit poster am too weak i can't do it]#press says iwtv#interview with the vampire#cw: incest
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death to insufferable hetero people in relationships
#this is to my roommate who sends whatsapp audio messages drunk to her boyfriend at 3 AM#who unprompted told him now on video call “do you want to watch me shower?”#girl the wall that divides us is PAPER THIN#i can hear EVERYTHING#i'm already pissed you woke me at 3 am with your stupid drunken rant#I don't need the details of your fucking sex life#i also don't want to hear you fighting with him regularly#god sometimes i want a bf but no if it's like this#like why do you need to video call him every fucking day even if it's 1 am#go to sleep!!!!!!#why do you fight every day but when you say everything is fine#why did you have a fight about what you post on Instagram like i can't imagine a man trying to control my stupid posts#absolutely insufferable
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what if you risked calling your priest "daddy" rather than "father" behind the confessional booth? well aware he was touch-starved and corrupt, all it took was a brave little virgin like yourself to provoke his filthy sinful nature. rest assured you'd face the "wrath of god".
#priest kink#god complex kink#hierophile#hierophilia#blasphemy#blasphemy kink#religion kink#religious kink#church sex#lucifer x reader#monster nsft#monster x reader#nsft concept#monster bf#lucifer#daddy k!nk#monster boyfriend#bd/sm corruption#corruption kink
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♡♡Inspector Birling♡♡
#an inspector calls#forbidden love#old men#mlm#edwardian#enemies to lovers#so hot and sexy#Mr Birling is lucky I wasn't born because the inspector is just the most sexxxy man I ever seen#sex god boyfriend#Inspector Birling
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When someone tells you they don't like hugs, that's not an invitation for you to "cure them". It is not a "you" thing, although sometimes it might be. You thinking "they have to get used to it" because "your hugs are different" and "that's how you show love" is not a valid argument. Hugging them out of the blue as a goodbye is not cool either. Fuck off.
#ok to rb in case someone is in the same boat but thinks the post is too personal#this friend of mine...#pretends he's great but can't respect one basic thing#he's lucky I have grown to control my emotions and not lash out#i hate it#don't hug me or touch me end of line#i am honest to god feeling sick#this dude and I have history where I borderline felt incapable of saying no and had sex with him#afterwards I told him how I felt#yet he still pulls this shit#hugs make me sick to my stomach I don't even hug my family#and I really don't wanna hug a man who pretty much made me hate sex (for myself) as a whole#i feel disgusting rn#twice he hugged me and got mad when I refused to hug him again#even after I already told him I hated it#then asks if I'm scared of him because of that like you piece of shit I wanna rip my skin out where you touched it#I may pretend to everyone that I'm a strong confident man but good lord#sometimes I wish I had an over protective boyfriend so he could kick him in the teeth over this shit#it's ridiculous I know but fuck#apologies if you read all these tags but I over drank after this and none of my friends are awake and I needed to vent#garrett.text
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uhh why is sex education suddenly a christian show? :(
#sex education#like what the hell is going on with the christianity stuff#like i know many other things are going on#but like what is it with Eric's 'purpose' and 'we are gay jesus' and 'my trans boyfriend is anti-religion and doesn't want to go tu church.#with me so i feel judged' stuff#like yeah#many queer people are religious etc but trying to make it all about CHRISTIANITY??#the most privileged religion in the West????????#fucking feeling like I'm watching God's not dead
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i hate this soooo much why do straight ppl have to come into my house and act like i’m a stupid dirty lesbian who will never measure up to them
#why r u telling me abt how homophobic ur mom is while ur feeling up ur boyfriend#why r u kissing in front of me and telling me abt how you showered together today#i’m so disgusted and i just want my house back#i want this girlfriend gone i want to be able to work in peace#why are you wrangling my cat and punishing him when he’s not yours#why are you talking about moving out here casually#my gf and i own nearly everything in the communal spaces#your shit boyfriend owes me over a hundred dollars#i feel so defeated and gross and#idk. i don’t harbor hatred for straight ppl but why are you acting as though your relationship is more valid than mine#we’ve been dating longer than you (without a little 6 month break up!)#we’ve lived together. you’re here for a week#i don’t want to talk abt ur straight sex#and why are you using my bathroom!!#use his bathroom wtf!!#i clean that and i don’t feel like cleaning ur shit#god i’m just.#and every time i set a boundary im an evil bitch who is controlling just like his mother or whatever#like leave me alone i just don’t want you to touch my stuff!! it’s my stuff!!#ughhhh
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