#THE WAY HOME WAS VERY LONG
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My ler just discovered yesterday I'm ticklish on my feet and ears and TOTALLY explored that new information
#IT WAS SO FLUSTERING CUZ I COULD BARELY LAUGH CUZ OFC I DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO FIND OUT#AND THEN ON HER CAR#I HAD MY HEAD ON HER LAP AND SHE KEPT LIGHTLY CARESSING MY TORSO WHY DID IT TICKLE SO MUCHHHHHH#AND TICKLED MY EARS AAAAAALL THE WAY HOME#that btw wasn't short cuz we had no way to arrive my house cuz people are doing like a marathon or smth#so yeah#THE WAY HOME WAS VERY LONG#also#A was in the car with us for some time#she and her mom were the first ones we left in home#and i unintentionally stepped on her shoe#AND MY LER PRETENED TO BE MAD AT ME WHEN I DID ITTTTTTT#AND STARTED TICKLING ME A LOT AS A PUNISHMENT#AAAWKMRMMFKKKWKSJQN#THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE#BUTTERFLY WE LOVE YOU#yeah all of this was thanks to Butterfly#NOT MENTIONING WHEN SHE TICKLED MY ARMPITS AND NECK WITH ONE OF THE MANY FEATHERS SHE HAS#gosh... i loved it so much#tickle#lee#tickle community#tickle content#just a lee talking#just a happy lee#sfw tickle community
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#fnaf#fnaf security breach#fnaf help wanted 2#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun moon#fnaf sun#fnaf sundrop#dca fandom#artists on tumblr#fan art#digital art#HELLO AGAIN#ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I DREW THE BOY </3#my summer was so so crazy busy (Zine work! Gallery showings!! Weddings!! Travelling!!! non-stop craziness!!!)#It was a lot of fun but i am very happy to be home now and back to my little snail ways (drawing and being a hermit)#and just in time for halloween season!!! *rubs little paws together* hehehe >:3
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Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.
We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.
Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.
He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?
I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?
#like curly is very much does his job goes home takes care of self repeat i dont think hes like an asocial person but he doesn't take the tim#time to indulge in himself the way he thinks hes a bigger picture guy so as long as nothing is disrupted hes relatively okay even if its#slowly chipping away at him and making him feel hollow like he thought space was endless that he could never reach a point of feeling finis#he never had to predict what to do after the end and suddently he realizes there was no end to it because there cant be an end to nothing#hes accomplished so much objectively but hes done nothing with his life outside of his work like he mentions no hobbies other friends or an#thing of the sort he doesn't even feel like he can vent it cause what? hes complaining about how hard it is to get promoted to have securit#in a job you hate and a position that keeps weighing you down like I feel like if he explained himself at the party and didn't let Jimmy t#talk for him hed actually have made points the others would get cause even if they envied his position he still is justified in being unhap#not everything that you think would bring you happiness does or fulfills even a small part of that desire#idk hes a lot more fucked in the head but like towards himself than people realize like how he lets Jimmy treat him is indicitive of that i#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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been wanting to scribble them as this meme for a while
#in my mind poppy and howdy are taking notes off-screen#tried to emulate like... old psa's and such#where the color is kinda burned and the lines are Off and the video quality is slightly weird#i think i mildly succeeded. emphasis on Mildly#littol guy....#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#wally darling#barnaby b beagle#god i love these two.... the sillies....#theyre so Character#barnaby though. have i mentioned that hes a bitch to draw (affectionate)#started this yesterday and spent way too long trying to get his proportions and such even somewhat presentable#not to mention drawing him on all fours. that is Not a perspective i scribble often#big guy. very Shaped. would kill to lay on him like a giant beanbag
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Mini psa:
Please stop comparing my au to a preexisting au in the undertale fandom-- it's getting really tiresome and frustrating to constantly be compared to it
#It was funny the first few times#But now it's really really repetitive getting constant asks and comments saying it#I know there is similarities however they are not related to eachother whatsoever#Iv already talked about this before but I have to mention it again since it's been a while since my last post on it#Welcome home mob au#Also apologies if this comes off rude or very self centered- this has been going on for way too long#Daily iv been getting asks saying it and it's really been destroying my motivation
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Some leafs 🍃🍂🍁
#GUESS WHOS GETTING BACK TO POSTING ON TUMBLRR :3333!!!!!#Been itching to draw cats for a while now so take some wc designs#hopefully i get around to all the cotc and mouthwashing stuff I have planned too :3#Missed yall sorry for being away mwah mwah#warrior cats#leafpool#leafstar#mapleshade#kiri art#wc designs#Anywaysss some bonus design notes for anyone looking in tags#Leafpool has some leaf markings which I also tried to make look like a chipmunk#and her tail is shaped like an oak leaf :3#leafstar has some very vague tanuki inspo (markings as well as the leaf on her head)#and her markings are leaf shaped#mapleshade is meant to look like a woman in mourning#She has black roses in her mane#Cobwebs draped over the side of the side of her face like a veil#anddd bonus maple leaf#teheheeee#HOLY AHIT I FORGOTTT#THE THINGS ON LEAFSTARS TAIL IS MOSS FROM THE WHISPERING CAVE ALL THE WAY BACK FROM SKYCLANS GORGE CAMP#And theyre shaped like clouds#dont ask me how the moss survived so long#I just want her to have a piece from her old home and all that she lost
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Zenitsu agatsuma has got to be the biggest egg I have ever seen in my entire life
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#zenitsu agatsuma#nezuko kamado#there’s genuinely no way bro doesn’t have smth going on with his gender#nezukos bamboo necklace is chewlery btw hehe#I hope I was able to capture the expression of like#just genuine tender yearning#it’s something he’s always had the longing for but never quite understood where it came from#or even what it was#just a very empty hole in his body that he could only ever describe as self hatred and disgust even if he knew that wasn’t quite right#I think when they’re older nezuko would rlly help him like#get comfortable w the idea of actually exploring his identity#he’s spent so much of his life just truly and bitterly hating himself to the core#he couldn’t stomach the idea of thinking about who he was beyond the surface level#I think nezuko would make him feel so much more okay with himself and help try to get him to a point of at the very least knowing who he is#it’s a very long road that zenitsu really honestly isn’t sure if he’s comfortable with#but he can’t help but at least try#if not for himself but for the ache of the child inside himself who has so desperately longed for comfort and love and belonging#he wants to know that child who was so brutally outcasted could eventually find a home#he wants to believe there’s hope for himself#Zenko chan I love you so much#she is so important 2 me…..#sorry transed your zenitsu. no yeah we can’t undo it. yeah he’s a she now. sorry nothin I can do.
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"this is just fanart" disclaimer cause I feel the need to make that super obvious now LMAO, but! little WH doodles from recent!
[Image IDs/transcripts under cut!]
[Image 1 ID: A black-and-white Welcome Home fan-comic. It stars Julie Joyful (a "rainbow monster" puppet that looks like a Muppet girl with noodly limbs, little nub horns, and long hair styled in a high ponytail, wearing a dress with a hoop skirt and puffy sleeves and a scarf tied in a bow), Frank Frankly (a puppet with a long, cylindrical body, long nose, thick eyebrows, black hair with a middle part, and a comically exaggerated frown, wearing a plaid vest and butterfly-shaped bow-tie), and Eddie Dear (a mailman puppet with a heavyset-yet-soft build, square jaw, thick eyebrows and long eyelashes, wearing a mailman's uniform with a parcel bag and rainbow tie).
The first panel shows Julie and Frank talking, with Frank's back to the viewer. Julie, smiling smugly and gesturing with one pointer finger and the other hand on her hip, says "If I run and jump at Eddie, he will surely catch me in his arms!" Frank replies simply, "Don't do that."
The second panel shows Eddie walking in, carrying a stack of packages in his left arm and holding up several letters in his right hand. He shouts "Mail call here f-Oh No", interrupting himself with a shocked smile as Julie runs towards him flapping her arms, screaming "EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE CATCH ME EDDIE C'MON QUICK EDDIE CATCH EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE". Frank, back still to the viewer, watches with shock with his hands raised in the air.
The third panel shows Eddie having indeed caught Julie, holding her up with both arms and an anxious expression. The packages he was holding have all fallen to the ground around him, and several of the envelopes are still fluttering to the ground. Julie is completely oblivious to Eddie's distressed, kicking her legs in the air excitedly, cradling Eddie's face with one hand and waving to Frank with the other. Frank watches in silent, stunned disbelief. End ID.]
[Image 2 ID: A colored image of Eddie Dear and Wally Darling (a smaller, yellow puppet with a large dark blue pompadour hairstyle and calm smile, wearing blue cardigan sweater over a button-up shirt, rainbow striped pants, and saddle shoes with hearts on the soles). Eddie is holding up Wally with both hands; Wally has his arms out to the sides and legs slightly bent at the knees. Both are smiling open-mouthed at each other, Wally relaxed yet warm, Eddie delighted yet slightly stunned. There are envelopes fluttering to the ground and scattered all around Eddie, with an arrow pointing to him reading "dropped all the mail". End ID.]
#anonymous puzzler art#partycoffin#welcome home#long post /#i've fallen in love with eddie a little bit but specifically in a wlw/mlm solidarity kind of way. please understand. thank you#i like that he's shaped like a fridge you can hug. i think that's very good of him#also: wally is very Holdable and that's just a scientific fact i am constantly thinking about a little bit.
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“But why now?—because Menelaus has beaten your handsome Paris, and hateful as I am, he longs to take me home?” Helen of Sparta still knowing her soulmate’s heart after a decade of war everybody
#helen being so proud of menelaus winning#and just. the implication of your paris#not hers. YOURS.#AND THE USAGE OF HOME. HELEN’S HOME#and the chilling silence in the aftermath of aphrodite’s threat#helen really yelled and insulted a god and paid the price for it but still held her head high. and i love her for that#also the use of hateful as i am… god she’s imagining the hate on menelaus’ face. all the emotions pouring into her#i can psychoanalyze this sentence in so many different ways#the dichotomy of hateful as i am / longs to take me home??? the anger vs gentleness of it all???#very normal about it. normal about helen of sparta and her pains#helen of sparta#menelaus#helen x menelaus#the iliad#epic cycle#the iliad book 3#greek mythology
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Only two more episodes to go after this one and the gay is thriving as usual, so let's take a look:
1
Home and Peach keep staring intensly at the other's unconcious face while putting their head directly above the other's, resulting in unintentional headbuts. Boys, I know you're worried and want to be the first thing the other sees after waking up, but I'm sure there's less headache-inducing ways to go about it.
2
As per usual, Home is carrying Peach without complaint. (And I'm reminded once again that he's certainly not shy around his body o.O)
3
The looks/nonverbal communication between them are constant. Even surrounded by the rest of their family, their eyes always find each other first. Whether it's to comment on what just happened or to reassure each other on what's about to happen, one look says it all.
4
Pangpang is streaming and her viewers are shipping. They must be happy to see that Home and Peach have moved past their divorce era. ("Where's Peach?" they say, which, if you've ever been present for a live of some BL actors, well, you know.)
5
This shot is right out of a 2000s gay coming-of-age short film.
And the way Peach laughs so fondly and asks Home what he wants for dinner in a soft voice? The love is strong in this scene.
And then their kids join in to bug them.
(a commenter on YT pointed out Peach pulling down his shirt but I'm not even going to go there)
6
Home is so tuned in to Peach, when he get's a message and looks at it a little weirdly for a second, Home is immediately there to ask what's wrong.
7
Home is so genuinely happy that for Peach when he hears that he's finally getting closer to achieving his dream
only to force himself to keep up that happiness when he realises that it might get in the way of his own dream.
Meanwhile Peach can't even really be happy about this himself because being a cook is his dream but he doesn't want to lose his family, lose Home, to get there.
In fact, his first impulse after finding out is asking Home what he thinks about it, because just like Home, he's clearly at this point considering Home a part of his future. Decisions like that have to involve him. (And Home, you idiot. You could have just said you'd come with him. It's not like there's anything keeping you in Bangkok.)
But unfortunately those two have still not achieved this sense of security in their relationship (and definitely Home, probably also Peach, being orphans, I guess it's not surprising they're having some issues around attachment and feeling secure in the long-lastingness of their relationships). And so Home falls back on protecting his vulnerability by pretending it's not there. Rather than imposing difficulty onto Peach (,rather than facing the smallest possibility that Peach might choose this over him,) Home plays it off like there was never any future for them anyway, even after he had just confessed to his uncle ca. one minute earlier that all he wants is for them to stay together.
He isn't even very subtle in his overplaying (is that a word in English?) of his troubled emotions, at the same time using this opportunity to get physically close to Peach for potentially one of the last times.
8
Of course, as he told his uncle, all Home really wants is to stay together with Peach and his family.
But he has come quite a long way from tricking Peach into unfair contracts. So he'd rather stap back than cause Peach any problems, doesn't think it his right to put his selfish desires onto him. (Unfortunately, judging by the preview, Peach is also insecure so by doing that he's just hurting Peach more)
"Just us" huh, Home? You know, at this point you might as well just propose to him.
At least this time he has another member of his family there to cry into the shoulder of.
Lesbian Corner
The girls have taken a page out of the HomePeach handbook, clinging to each other at the revelation of a ghostly presence.
Now that Peach and Home are somewhat settled (well...) it's their turn to flirt their way through the end credits
Edit:
Oops, it seems I missed something. Kan and Pangpang even have their own shippers now
#maybe i'm reading a little too much into it since i've been thinking about this myself#but i find the repeated self-sabotaging of their relationship by peach and home very realistic in light of their definitely present#abandonment trauma. we know about home becoming an orphan at an early age and longing for but never gaining family ever since so it's#pretty obvious with him but the absence of peach and pangpang's birth family has also been quite loud at times (esp. when peach died).#we don't know when they died/disappeared but it's clearly been a while and it clearly also left an effect on peach#what better way to symbolise a queerplatonic relationship than ghost-hunting together in perpetuity#peaceful property#peaceful property the series#i really hope they can find their happy ends with each other. they deserve it
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Just one of the many great tragedies of Mishanks' relationship is that sometimes Shanks wants to feel wanted just as he is, that even beyond the strength he is worth the effort he is worth being loved and unfortunately that just isn't something Mihawk can over him it's just not something he can do, not as he is now at least. That's a level of emotional maturity that he just does not possess to be able to disentangle the strength from the man that makes no sense to him. Strength is all there is. Shanks is a person, has a life outside of his strength, his power is just another aspect of who he is but for Mihawk strength is his whole person, if he is not strong then he is nothing. If shanks is not strong well then....he's nothing to him.
And God that's a lonely way to live.
#Man age 43 only friends 2 decade long situationship and his kids claims he's never been lonely more at 6#the ways having known Perona allow Mihawk to engage in a healthier relationship with Shansk are just gold to me#Because I mantain the fact that young mishanks was very chaotic and some would characterize unhealthy#she teaches him to care for people outside of how well they could measure up to him in a fight#I dont know their relationship seems to make his life fuller kind of#like its implied that he only started his garden after Zoro left#Like he stops seeing the Humandrills as annoying pests and actually starts letting them help out with his garden#he letler use all his good wine to make sangria and adopt errant freaky bear cubs#he even fucking secretly planted cocoa trees (cause he's a fucking weirdo) just to make her favorite drink like come on#he just lets this shrill girl barge into his life and make a home there with minimal objection.#She makes his life full in ways that his relationship just couldnt Zoro. she is so essential to his growth as a character#(you know if oda focused on him longer than once every 12 years)#I love it#one piece#throwing thoughts to the void#dracule mihawk#op#hawkeye mihawk#akagami no shanks#mishanks#shanks#red haired shanks#akataka#mihawk x shanks#perona#perona one piece#ghost princess perona#goth family#goth fam#one piece goth fam
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Lost princess of a shadow broken kingdom.
#kingdom hearts#kh#kh kairi#kingdom hearts kairi#kairi kingdom hearts#kairi kh#blue boi draws#was messing around with a lineless style#I love her so so much#gah Kairi my girl Kairi she needs therapy#Princess of a place which is not home. forever cursed to feel a little out of place.#it must have taken a long time to adjust to the islands. I like to think her family is very supportive.#even besides that she was a weird kid. a good kid! but a weird kid. I think that’s part of the reason she ended up with Sora & Riku#they were all just a little bit weird. in different and similar ways (neurodivergence).#she’s well liked but unignorably different. she struggles with the culture and expectations of the island in ways others didn’t.#the people around her understood why and were sympathetic (I hope) but that doesn’t stop it from making her feel out of place.#also the long turn ramifications of childhood trauma is always… fun. it’s gonna take her a loooooonnng time to figure that shit out#I love her
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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
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it's kinda fascinating to me how welt has been "at the end of his life" for like. several decades by now. he goes on and on about how old and weary he is and how "his job is done" and his story is over but- oh wait i just realized i can phrase this in a very funny way- he's kind of sorta immortal now because he got the herrscher core back, so he's really just stuck in the epilogue for all eternity
#kdj will never leave my brain. clearly#hsr#or uh#hi3#???#idk?#ill just tag the guy himself#welt yang#like his story could have ended several times#with his self sacrifice during the second eruption or his self sacrifice in the sea of quanta or his self sacrifice in apho#man welt get your shit together#or with him teaching bronya to be his successor and her surpassing him#but none of these character arcs were about him. they were moreso about the effect he had on other characters. while he stays the same#and it makes sense because when does the guy ever think abt himself lol#but all of these endings would have been tragic in a way#so maybe this epilogue he's stuck in. the. the space train he's stuck in.#HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA#i ought to tag orv at this point#maybe that epilogue (hsr) is what he needs. because we can tell that things are different for him#and that he's gradually talking about going home less and less#but all the tragedy of his self sacrifices happened bc even while crushed by grief none of his friends/family saw another way out#and he had to take responsibility again. but if this happens in hsr - with him going back to self sacrifice without question#do you think the astral express crew will let him? or are they gonna try to find another way? without letting him do it all on his own?#um. this is very long#hsr meta#i guess
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spontaneously starts scribbling him Differently Every Time
#CONSISTENCY IS DEAD AND I STRANGLED HER#a very long time ago. im just whaling on a corpse at this point#consistency may be dead but she's also my wife. is that anything#anyway HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY#howdy brain Activated Tonight#i dont know how to draw him! it might seem like i do! i dont! hes fuckin Shaped in such a Way!#the last one was actually the first#i will never be able to replicate it. its what i Want#scribble salad#welcome home#howdy pillar#shakes him shakes him SHAKES HIM#his hair is a bitch to get even remotely right...#ill pin it down tho! ill streamline it! eventually!#every time i look at him my brain essentially goes 'he can get fluffier.... the Volume....'
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So, I actually managed 1005 words! which is like 250 more than i had before, yippee!!
I think some CWs are needed for this one, basically this is a bit of insight into Cross's childhood, he's probably around 13 here?
//CW vomiting & child abuse??// (lmk if there are any more needed)
Raindrops hit the car window, blurring the sight of the city lights behind the panes with a soft pattering sound. Cross was cold. The air was humid and he wanted to go home. Wherever that was.
The car ride had been spent in silence, as had all the other ones these past months. Cross kept himself entertained, watching flashes of light pass through the darkness of the car, observing as they shifted and bent with the shape of the seats or as they passed over his legs. He didn’t know if he could do this again, if he’d find the courage to. He wanted to say something though he knew he shouldn’t, protesting never got him anything but remarks and lectures.
He’d never been good at keeping his mouth shut.
“I don’t wanna go.” His throat felt tight and there was a growing pressure behind his eyes. he had to tell someone.
A heavy sigh came from the driver’s seat and Cross winced “And I don’t wanna hear it Cross. This is your third placement in three months. You know how these things go.” her tone stayed stern and cold. He didn’t know why he ever tried. A beat passed “You know if you would just behave–”
“I know” he snapped at her, holding his brow, a low growl building in his throat.
“See? This is exactly what I mean!”
“Oh, fuck off!” He knew he’d made a mistake as soon as the words left him.
The car came to an abrupt stop at the red light and Cross flinched when she twisted around to face him, her face contorted with rage, pointing an accusing finger in his face.
“I’m doing this for you, you know that right?” She started “I’m driving you there but if you wanna be like that, you can get out of the car and walk your stuff to the new house. And then you could do the introductions and explain all that’s wrong with you. Since you like talking so much. Is that what you want? Huh?”
Cross stayed quiet, curling up on himself. He knew this was a shit idea anyway. She never listened. Tears ran down his cheeks as he kept his eyes glued to the floor. “’m sorry..”
She merely scoffed, turning back to the road as the light turned green. “And stop crying.”
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Now, Cross stood quietly, his backpack in hand, and in it all his meager belongings. He cringed as his social worker rung the doorbell of the new house.
The door opened, blinding Cross with the warm light coming from inside. He felt like he could cry again. Wanting nothing more than to go back to the car.
His social worker greeted the man at the door, a smile plastered on her face that she only used when talking to the foster parents. Cross was disgusted at her hypocrisy. This house would be just like the other ones, they’d act nice for a bit while he was quiet and docile and then at the first sign of resistance they’d realize he’s nothing but a wild animal, ‘a problem child’. Once he snaps at them, once he’s not just a way to give them good conscience. He hated them already, he hated this.
He wanted out. He liked it better with Epic. He should’ve stayed with him.
“Cross, are you coming?” He was pulled from of his thoughts as she called him inside. She’d already told his new foster parents about the protocol for his shifts, he knew because the man he’d seen earlier was holding a vial of wolfsbane in his hand. He shuddered, it was rare when foster parents let him spend full moons without sedation. He didn’t like the way they looked at him.
Like they were nice, like they weren’t going to hurt him. Cross hoped they’d let him keep his books. Maybe they wouldn’t be as bad as the last ones.
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Cross knew this placement had been a bad idea. He panted and whined as he struggled against the silver shackles attaching him to the basement radiator, his arms were pulled back uncomfortably and the silver was burning him, he could hear his own flesh start to sizzle.
He’d been annoying, he knew he’d been bad, but he didn’t think they’d even keep him around long enough to deal with a full moon. They’d laced his water with wolfsbane at dinner. Of course that wouldn’t be a problem if only they hadn’t put this much. It wasn’t his usual dose and he could feel his body rejecting it, his stomach clenched and he tried his best to fight it as he gagged, his diaphragm working to expel the poison from his metabolism, his chest heaved and Cross retched, only slightly purple tinted bile left him as he sobbed.
Everything was aching, his limbs weren’t responding and he felt sluggish, his senses held in a panicked torpor. He didn’t know how long he’d been crying, his wrists feel raw and chaffed. He felt his body forcing itself into a different shape as the full moon rose and illuminated the basement through a small window, his mind stuck in an exhausting loop of unfinished thoughts and panic, and he howled in pain as the first cracks rang out and echoed in the basement.
The smell of blood permeated the air. he couldn’t think. The poison left him immobile, save for the slight shivering that wracked his small furry form. Cross wanted out.
Closing his eyes and letting his tired mind drift off, he thought of green grass and cool air, the sound of the leaves rustling with the wind, feeling his paws hit the earth with each bound, wind rushing past him, ruffling his fur, it was enough to satiate the instincts clawing at the back of his head. And in the morning he’d wake up wishing he hadn’t. But for now, hurting and laying on cold damp concrete floor, hidden back into the retreat of his mind, he felt calmer.
#But yeah!! Crossy boy is not okay#This is while he was still in Canada where werewolves are more common knowledge than let's say at Cross's college#it's in a smaller town also which are often more affected by werewolf happenings#He used to be a bit more rambuncious than the softy he is now#he's come a very long way and still has things to unlearn#this is also what started Cross taking wolfsbane on fullmoons to 'sedate' himself#obviously he doesn't want to relive *this* but this is like a very bad case y'know#also I'm not an expert on the situations or inner workings of foster homes and the last thing I want to be is inaccurate#I know only a few people in situations like that#if this rep is upsetting please lmk#college au#my writing#my art#utmv fanfic#college au writing
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