#THE PRE-WEDDING SHOOT DYING

[celestial-sapphicss]

laws of attraction is over i am dying. this is ur fault @solana-ceae @grapejuicegay (are u guys ok tho?)

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello lovely fandom and happy Wednesday. Wanted to get this review out sooner than the last. Since I was delayed and late last week. With good reason I know but Wed was my original goal. So wanna stick to it for this next one.

Ahhh the 100th ep. Had we had full seasons in 1-3 would’ve been last year. But that is neither here nor there HA. Also it's our ILY ep ❤️ This is a PACKED ep for them. So did my best per usual for gif space. They had wall to wall moments which is amazing but daunting for reviews ha The gif puzzle was a hard one but I got it worked out. Do love a challenge. Anyways let us begin.

6x02 The Hammer

Our couple starts up still icy and tense af. I relate to Tim so much in this first scene. Shocker I know. I’m very much the kind to be like. 'It sucked, I noted it sucked, I was upset and now we’re moving on.' I hate beating a dead horse if I feel the subject has been talked to death. Now that isn't this situation but it is the jist of the scene for Tim at least. Lucy asking if they can talk Tim says yes BUT there’s nothing to talk about. Now, where I am like Tim in wanting the expedience of a situation to be over, I'm not in how he handled the end of the scene above. Just avoiding it completely. I have grown quite a bit due to therapy thankfully.

So this is where he and I differ in this tiff. What he's doing used to be my M.O. Where as now I still want it over quickly but I now I follow it up with how I recognize how I can be better. If I’m in the wrong that is. I ask what I can do moving forward so doesn’t happen again? Asking what I could do next time to make sure they don't feel that way in the future? Or if I’m the wronged party explaining what I need so this doesn’t happen next time. As we know our boy is pre-therapy Tim atm so he does none of those things….Communication as we know not their strong suit.

Lucy wants to talk it out more in detail. Seeing their fight as another bigger fight to come. She isn’t wrong at all. First time I've agreed with her in this prolonged fight. It totally is a pending issue. Lucy tells him just wanting to move on isn’t healthy. Definitely isn't. And he is riled up from the insinuation. Tim just wants to shove it into a box until that issue comes to light again. Which again isn’t the healthiest approach to what she is aiming at. The reality is right or not Lucy hurt him deeply. He clearly isn’t over that and it’s reflected in their convo above. The start to the ep is a fraught one for them.

Lucy meets up with Angela to go over 'The Hammer.' Which she is more than happy to help her out with. What she doesn’t know is she’s about to step in the middle of a lover's quarrel. Which is going to make her even happier tbh. LOL This is one of those 'Angela is the fandom moments.' Where she’s just sitting back and enjoying the show. Her face while she watches the chaos unfold is everything. Look at her above. She is gleeful she lucked into this fight.

Their bickering has reached astronomical married levels. It’s written all over Angela’s face as she watches them argue. With their pot shots, passive aggressive comments, and the fact they’re fighting like she’s not even there anymore. Lastly just the all around husband and wife banter they're displaying for her. The 100th ep delivered in so many ways. This scene is one of them. Our on screen shipper is having the time of her life with this. Not hiding her delight in the least.

She signed on for help then got popcorn and a show to go with it. They don’t even notice her presence till she interjects ‘Let what go?’. They’re so wrapped up in their fight they had forgotten she was there. Angela wouldn’t be Angela without shooting off a snarky reply as they take off. 'Maybe I'll go too. Grab some popcorn on the way for the show.' So bummed couldn't get this one in gif wise. But I’m dying of laughter when Tim says she isn’t funny. Her firing back to 'She’s hysterical. Ask Wesley' LMAO

They arrive at the Hammer's apt and Tim is trying to give Lucy the rundown. Attempting and failing to be clipped and professional with her. But this is Lucy so that was never gonna happen. lol He mentions his real name is Billy Bob Bennett. Lucy touches his arm like she does so naturally and laughs. Asking if that’s really his name? That no wonder he goes by his nickname. Trying to lighten the vibe. Sadly her touch does nothing to soften his annoyance. Tim is still in grumpy mode and didn’t find this funny in the least.

Asking if he can just finish his good news/bad news? Lucy apologizes and say knock yourself out…Not wanting to fight any further on the subject. Tim continues on saying he has a felony warrant. So they could kick down his door if they wanted right now. Which is the good news. Lucy mentions he bought the ring legally though… Which is the bad news. So he has no reason to give them the ring. That he won’t be any more inclined to give it to them when they arrest him.

It’s here we watch Tim hesitate and it’s hilarious. Lucy is watching him with amused eyes wondering why. Has the look of a man who's seen things. haha Tim explains he loves to fight but more importantly he loves to fight cops more than anything. Hence the nickname. It’s the gentle way he pushes her toward his front door after his 'Ladies first.' line LOL I was laughing so hard. She’s smiling even mad she loves this goober of a man. Who says chivalry is dead eh?

When the Hammer opens the door he looks agro af. I love them being in-sync with putting their hands up. Even in a fight they are simpatico in the field. Lucy explains the situation with the ring while hubby nods along. This scene is gold. Hammer mentions the ring was legally bought. This is where she offers him the deal. That if he just gives them the ring they’ll give him a head start. Give him 20 minutes to grab the future misses and go to ground. They won’t start the hunt and call back up till then.

Of course living up to his reputation that’s not enough to get him to bite. He rather fight it out. Want's a fair fight. One on one. They win they get the ring and he gets arrested. Hammer wins he keeps the ring and they arrest him. I remember getting a flash back of the Pilot in this moment. Tim telling her she’s gonna have to fight him lmao Just like last ep the massive different between now and then is he’s in love with Lucy.

She tells him one will care what he looks like tomorrow LOL That she has to be beautiful and in a dress. I mean she isn’t wrong. But also I very much care about what he looks like at that wedding haha Lucy gives him all the heart eyes when he concedes and says ‘Let’s go.’ Even though she can handle herself no way he'd actually make her take this bullet mad or not. Do love her saying 'You got this.' before the fight begins. Ever the supportive wifey.

First off I cannot believe there isn’t a gif set of this fight. (Not that I could fit it in ha but still)There's one of Lucy’s reactions to the fight. But not of the fight itself. Which is a travesty because it’s sexy af on Tim’s part. The song running through the scene is perfection per usual. Second watching this fight makes me cringe at first. Not cause I don’t think it’s amazing. I love it. As stated earlier it's sexy af and impressive. What makes me cringe is having the back issues I have now and Tim having them as well. Hurts to watch for that reason. Hammer wipes floor with him at first. Idk how he isn’t tore up from the floor up after this lol

Lastly I do adore Lucy’s reactions to this. Worried wife mode has been activated. Mad as she is it pains her to not step in. She wants to at first and Tim stops her. Gesturing his hand to not intervene. Couldn’t fit that part in but I adored it. Hammer wanted a fair fight, and being the honorable man he is, Tim will uphold that. He knows Lucy can hold her only with the best of 'em. But Hammer would’ve been pissed had she jumped in to help him. Still I know it was killing her to watch him get tossed around like he did. Tim was NOT winning at first.

Now back to why this fight is sexy. It’s the way Tim holds his own. He gets tossed around like a rag-doll at first. Then learns how the Hammer moves and adapts. If you don’t think him launching himself off that bed and power kicking into his chest isn’t incredibly sexy, we can’t be friends. LOL It's insanely attractive how he took his ass down after that move. Holy hell. Look at those biceps in action. Bulging and sinfully delicious *fans self* I need some ice water. He could put me in a hold like that anytime....Lucy looks so relieved when he gets the ring and Hammer is passed out cold. Her reactions through out were primo though.

Next comes the best part of the scene. Tim staggers over and grabs the ring. Panting and completely out of breath. Damn near ready to pass out. Now this portion of him being on one knee as he hands her the ring. *screams into a pillow* This is foreshadowing at it's finest folks. Alexi wouldn’t have put this in there if he wasn’t gonna cash in on it one day. I truly believe that. The looks they share as well are so damn loaded. Look at the shared looks as he holds up the ring. Oh my lord.

Especially Lucy’s as she accepts the ring and looks down at him. Feeling all the feels we were in the moment. I remember A.H. saying there would be a moment that would launch a thousand gifs. He wasn’t wrong. This was an iconic moment in an episode full of them for our ship. Lucy is riddled with emotion and can barely choke out ‘Good job.’ You know she wants to marry this man. Stubborn streak and all. In that brief moment when he’s staring up at her that hits her. Stuns her a little too honestly. Melissa does a wonderful job conveying all that.

I remember seeing a great set for this. Had him kneeling on one knee from 5x17 when they're in sally port. Then 6x02. The caption read ‘Third time is the charm.’ In my heart of hearts I believe that. Next time he’s on one knee it’s going to be to ask Lucy Chen to marry him. To be his wife. What a beautiful day that’ll be. *dreamy sigh* That being said this moment was meant to be foreshadowing no doubt in my mind. The way the shot was framed and everything screamed that. It is funny to cap it off with Tim passing the hell out after it all haha Along with Lucy’s ‘Oh.’ as he collapses. It's hilarious. Poor Tim.

We move onto the unconventional bachelor/bachelorette parties. Because yes even though our ship is the best part of this ep, there is still a wedding to be had LOL I loved how this was written and shot. How it bounces back and forth between both parties. And how it’s about Chenford for most part not John/Bailey. Cause let’s be real. Ain’t no one watching this ep for their actual wedding. Also loved how this had that amazing rom-com vibe all over it. Made me very happy and I was here for it.

This portion shows us what we already know. They both got issues and aren’t confronting them. Celina’s comments crack me up. She’s new to shipping Chenford but is a shipper none the less. Basically being like you guys are what I’m striving for in my love life. So please work it out haha Tim noting they’re great when she’s not accusing him of made up transgressions. I mean he’s got you there Lucy....

Once again I’m on Tim’s side with this back and forth dialogue. Yes he was deeply traumatized by what happened with Isabel. But she is projecting onto him in this instance. Because she isn’t ready for all that comes with UC/detective. Chastity has a solid reply to Lucy about UC. A mic drop one really. We all know she is actually dreading what might happen now that she has him. Chastity trying to get Lucy to confront she's scared. Breaking News. She doesn't...She throws it back on Tim instead unfortunately.

Said this before just because you are good at something doesn’t mean it’s your destiny. Having to leave him for possible months at a time is shaking her. Also with how dangerous it is. That it increases the fact she could not come home to him. The detective exam makes UC a legit reality. One I don’t think Lucy really thought about because it was a distant future. Now that it’s closer she’s hitting the panic button HARD. Not only that but projecting onto Tim with this fight they’re still in. She’s in massive denial and it’s all over her in this scene.

Lucy breaks off from the party. She is meeting Tim at the station but she’s not sure why. I love how cute Tim is just waiting for her. So pleased with himself for this solution. Looking mighty yummy in his black shirt all wired up. Telling Lucy she can ask him whatever she wants. Just like the last ep he’s desperate to proof he’s on her side. That he’s truly rooting for her. Lucy gets excited asking if she can ask him anything? Tim is confused and says the point was to ask him about detective/UC….

I adore how Lucy instantly throws him off. How she crowds him and flusters him in the process. Saying they should be 'Thorough' as she scoots closer to him. Madam you aren't here to turn him on haha The way she approaches him says otherwise. Look at that man’s reaction. He’s so distracted he almost forgets why he’s wired up. Even after being together awhile she still takes his breath away. Look at the way he inhales sharply when she gets closer. Encroaching on his space.

Makes my shipper heart so damn happy. He’s a little turned on by her descent on him. How she pulls up nice and close. Not only that but scoots in and brackets his leg with her thighs. She knows what she's doing and is very aware that man loves her thighs. Tim is shook in the best way ahha I bet his heart rate spiked on that machine LMAO The way he looks her up and down. Floored by this woman in front of him. Hell of a way to start this scene.

Lucy wants a baseline so she starts with the bug question. Honestly it’s the best way to diffuse the tension before it gets real. Such a cute married moment this portion. Asking if he really releases the bugs she traps for him? Idk what’s cuter. Tim indulging her by taking them out to “Set them free.” Or Lucy asking him to do so while low key knowing he wasn’t LOL Marriage thy name is Chenford. His sigh before he admits he doesn't is so funny. That 'No' is hysterial.

His bemused face while she see's his answer is true is precious. The hilarious way he’s like yeah. I didn’t cause they’re bugs lol This is Grumpy X Sunshine personified for them with this part. I loved getting this look into them outside of work. When they’re just at her place being them. Clearly it's something that's been going on for a long time and I’m dying. Tim pretending to do so cause he loves her.

But he’s still him and isn’t gonna save a bugs life lmao Cause well. Tim. The fact he’s been killing them and lying to spare her feelings. That’s love ya’ll. Deep down she knew haha But needed to get the proof while he was wired up. Amazing. Damnit I love these two sfm. This episode is a treasure trove of goodies. Also just more proof how pure Lucy is. Wouldn’t hurt a fly literally. Pure sunshine this one.

Lucy gets a little more serious. Asks Tim if he loves her? Now it’s subtle and our ship is so good at the subtle goodness. I adore the slight shake of his head first. The way he looks at Lucy before he answers. Like how is this even a question? He feels every part of his being, every action he does, how he's opened up for her screams how much he loves her.

Like of course I love you, Lucy Chen. His heart eyes are off the charts adorable. I love the way he meets her half way. Needing to be closer to her when he says this. Does that deep breath first. Leans in with the biggest in love smile and tells her 'Yes. I love you.' *swoon* I could hear him say that all day.

You know his deep breath before he replies reminds me of 5x08 when he took a leap of faith. Took a deep breath and went for it. The sweet smile when he says he loves her. *squee* Nothing makes more sense to him than being in love with this woman in front of him. It’s written all over his confession and beautiful face. He couldn’t be more in love with her if he tried. Lucy’s knowing smirk is everything below.

I do remember there being a debate if this was first time he said that to her or not. I mean I’m not sure still tbh. Months later and I'm not 100% either way tbh. I mean how she looks at him when she asks him makes it seem like it is. Almost like she's holding her breath waiting for the answer. But then her reaction above is a knowing smile of someone who already knows. Like she's heard it from him before. And is using hearing it to ground herself in this moment.

Needing to hear that reassurance that he loves her. Because the next question is the biggie. But I could totally see this being the first time as well. It's one thing I'm not confident on which is very rare for me with them. Anyways no matter what camp you fall in this scene is fantastic. We got a love struck Tim Bradford telling Lucy he loves her. Nothing better than that you ask me. Not only that but with the biggest in-love grin we could ask for. So either way the scene is a massive win for us. I also can’t hear Tim say he loves her enough. Wanna hear it on a loop.

Makes me squee and simultaneously want to pass out from the glee. Unfortunately the lie detector detects its first lie in him being ok with her going UC. Even Tim is shocked by it. He truly thought he was going to pass that question with flying colors. Lucy isn’t shocked but Tim is. Why? Because the man as I’ve stated before would die rather than not support her. He is floored it's a lie. It does cause some good self reflection from him later at the wedding as we will see.

They sadly arrive to the wedding separately. Tim showing up looking like an absolute snack though. I love this vertical shot. Giving us a glorious look at him dressed to the nines. Tall drink of water I would like a sip of. Hot damn. Chicken or steak? Neither. I’ll take Tim Bradford wearing the hell out of that suit please and thank you. Also we know that man didn’t pick that suit out. Has Lucy written all over it with how they match. I can only imagine them going shopping for it and Tim protesting the entire time haha

Tim is actively seeking his person out as his eyes scan the crowd. Even mad he needs eyes on her. They lock eyes across the courtyard. Lucy looks excited to see him. She takes in how good he looks then remembers she’s mad at him. Doesn’t maintain it long after that sadly. Angsty goodness right there ooof. I’m here for it.

The wedding happens after but I don't really care about that TBH. The looks continue in the afterparty. Tim drinks at the bar and watch's his girl have fun on the dance floor. Lucy’s gaze a little softer this time around as she looks back at him. *sigh* Does crack me up Celina asks Aaron if they'll be ok as she watches them long for each other haha Girl is seriously worried about them. I love it.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Tim being the one to bridge the gap. He's reaching out to her and is ready to talk this out. He doesn't even acknowledge Luna when he walks up. Only has eyes for his girl. Sorry Luna LOL He can’t be away from her any longer. Tim extending his hand asking her to dance wordlessly. That silent communication of their's in full force. My heart.

I adore how Luna is looking at them when Lucy gets up. Lucy looks back and gets her nod of approval. Like go make up with your man honey. Love Lucy’s smile knowing how Tim coming to her is a huge deal. My god how this man has grown. Makes me happy to no end. The music once again *chef kiss* This song is glorious in it's perfection for this scene. I'll never hear this song the same way again that's for sure. It'll bring me right back to this moment.

From here on out it is all hands hands hands. I saw someone make a tag of *pterodactyl screeching* for this scene. Made me cackle. If that isn’t the fandom in this moment. Eric and Melissa are so good at the little things that make us lose our damn minds. The way he softly takes her hand in his. How she can’t keep hers off him from minute they hit the dance floor. I don’t blame her my hands would be all over him too. I love how they get lost in one another instantly. Looks at those smiles above.

These two couldn't be happier to be near each other. Their time apart has really made that craving to be close increase ten-fold. Despite the lie detector scene they’ve been apart physically since 6x01 if not longer than that. Probably pre-6x01 but post 6 weeks in his office. Haven’t really been affectionate since then either. They’re being drawn back in like a moth to the flame when they're reunited. Like they're coming up for air for the first time in forever. Been trapped in this fight for far too long.

They get so lost in being together again they almost forget they’re still in a fight. I love this so much. The one above has me swooning the most. Look at them. The way she runs her hand down his chest. The smile on his face is everything. Just so happy to have her in his arms again. How Lucy is looking at Tim. phew lord. That is a loaded look. Mixture of sheer happiness and wanting to take him to nearest closest tbh. Seems like such an intimate gaze she's throwing his way.

He's reciprocating with his own fiery intensity. *fans self* Forgetting they are indeed in public. I love how they sway in perfect tandem together. Gah if you wanted to know what utter perfection and chemistry looked like. Go no further than this gif. Look at these stunning humans just exuding their attraction for one other. Beautiful thing to behold. Saying so much with just their incredible physical chemistry. Sweet lord we are so lucky to have Eric and Melissa helming this ship.

Tim is the one to break the silence. Finally admitting after episodes of sheer frustration last year, he isn’t ok with her being UC. That he’s more conflicted than he realized. He truly thought he was ok enough about it. Enough that he could pass a lie detector test. He wouldn’t have done it if he thought it would’ve proved him wrong. In his heart of hearts he thought he was ok adjacent lol

His suppressed feelings for months coming out in his answer. Lucy is very kind in her reply to him. Letting him know it’s understandable. That it was so horrible how could be possibly be over that? I love her fingers climbing up and down his lapel the entire time. Gripping it when she needs it. Almost as if touching him constantly is going to ground her in this moment. Which I think it is. Being near him always been a comfort to her.

I couldn’t be prouder of him if I tried in this portion. Tim growth moments are my fav moments. To not only tell her 'Hey you were right.' but to admit to being wrong. Tim Bradford just admitted to being wrong. Man must be in love baha Tim being even more amazing in growth won’t take the out she's given him.

Stating it’s not fair to her. That he needs to deal with it. He takes it even one step further. Telling her that her dream shouldn’t have anything to do with his issues. What a man. How Lucy doesn’t pull him into the nearest closet/room for make up sex right then and there idk haha Has more will power than I would.

Lucy is touched by his honesty and owning his part in this UC fight. It’s written all over her face when she says ‘Thank you.’ The ‘hands hands hands’ continues and I’m all but squealing. Look at her fingers at back of his neck/head and all over his hair. Her other hand coming up to stroke his bicep too. I’m dying here of cloud 9 happiness.

The way she strokes the back of his head while she’s comforting him. I cannot you guys. It’s so soft and cute. I’m dead. Here lies Caitlin- Cause Chenford was off the charts cute and she imploded. Happily take that death all damn day. The way she tells him they’re gonna get through this. My heart. She truly would’ve gone through ANYTHING for him. Thought they truly could recover from any conflict. Weather any storm as long as they're together.

Look at Tim and the way he's smiling down at her in that second gif. He believes it too because she does. Ugh. Makes what happens in 6x06 hurt all that more. But let’s not think about that too much. I wanna live here for awhile and avoid that until I literally can’t and we’ve reached 6x06 lol I can't get over her fingers in his hair you guys. The way she is sweetly caressing his neck and arm. Some fanfic goodness IRL. My damn heart. I'm not crying you are.

If this scene wasn't amazing enough we reach Lucy's ILY and it's GLORIOUS. The way she searches his face and makes sure he can see it. That it’s splayed all over her face how much she loves him. Her heart eyes on full blast for him. She once again is caressing the back of his neck as she says it too. Then we get the sweet kiss to follow it *heart clutch* I’m weeping at how beautiful this scene is. The writers really did us justice with this moment. Eric and Melissa knocked it out of the park and then some. Always elevating the material given to them in so many ways.

Her hand on his face as they continue to sway in tandem. Her thumb running down his jawline tenderly. The way he’s looking down at Lucy gets me in the feels hard. Like he can’t believe this beautiful woman loves him warts and all. He’s in complete awe of her in this moment. So happy this incredible woman has chosen to love him. The vulnerability he is displaying here is a sight to see. Truly proof of how she obliterated his wall and then some.

The sweet smile he gives her at the end. *squee* He’s ecstatic she loves him despite their issues. Despite his issues. Constantly blown away by the woman in his arms. Lucy returning his expression in kind. Looking up at him like he's the best thing that's ever happened to her. Because well he is. Her loving smile while looking up at him. I'm dying. It's why the man is puddle right now.

Wouldn’t be Tim if he didn’t follow up with a goobery joke though. Because she brings that side out in him like no other. Let us also enjoy how Lucy still can’t keep her hands off his lapel btw. Or him in general really. I can’t stop focusing on the hands and how they’re all over each other. His crack about the lie detector is pretty damn cute. A great way to finally end the tension between them.

It’s the way Lucy laughs and slaps that same hand, with her DOD ring on his chest, that gets me. She loves this ridiculous goober of a man so much. Their physical chemistry is unreal. Never seen any other like it. Tim is beaming down at her. So happy to have made her laugh the way he did. Her laughter is music to his ears. Mine too. If you weren’t grinning ear to ear after that joke you’re dead inside LOL This part is so sweet I’m diabetic.

Aaron sadly ruins the moment with his drunk ass. We immediately see soft, funny, and light Tim disappear instantly. Fierce protector Tim emerges as he pulls Lucy close to him. Never letting his hand leave her waist as he scolds Aaron. Pulling her closer and closer as he does. And uses his other arm to keep Aaron away from Lucy. I love it so much. Once again it’s the little things our captains do so damn well. We eat it up like candy haha

Celina takes off after a call solo. Idk why she would after everything happened with Aaron in 5x22. But Nolan is her T.O. So… Thought we made it a review without a Nolan pot shot didn’t you? Well I snuck one in. #noregrets

Anyways we watch our couple emerge from an unseen area. Smiles for days on Lucy's face. Which we all took as they had make up sex and we’re seeing the afterglow of that heh. It’s where all our minds went and I love it. D is writing a fic based on that. Idk when but I cannot wait for that. *cough* please write it next bestie.*cough*. They all go into cop mode like the BAMFS they all are about Celina. Except Aaron he’s sidelined by Tim for being hammered. Poor sweet Aaron is a struggle bus.

They save Celina and our ship looks amazing as they do it of course. Didn't have room for that great shot of them. Gives me all the feels Lucy showing up to the scene with Tim in his truck. That little things theme continues. Also Tim in his tie and badge showing? Yum. Gimme. To quote ZZ Top ‘ Cause every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man.’ Mmm. And that concludes the ep Chenford wise.

Phew that was a doozy to write. Their content heavy ones always are I hope did it justice had fun writing it. They beyond delivered with this 100th ep. It’s memorable for so many reasons and we got loads of moments from it. Something did wanna touch on that I didn’t love during their dance. I didn’t love the blame squarely being on just Tim for their fight. Lucy had a hand in it too. Tim deserved an apology too. Other than that its perfect. Now I’m wondering if they’re gonna touch on her mental health stuff more in S7. Because there was a lot of build up to it in this entire season. I’m hoping they do cause they put her through damn ringer this season. Gotta have a pay off or some sort like Tim’s did.

Thank you forever and always to those who read, comment, like and reblog these reviews. They do my heart real good when you do. You are the reason I do them. So thank you. Shall see you all in 6x03 :)

~~~

Side notes- non Chenford

The cold open LOL It’s fantastic. Cop cutie is so funny I love it. Nolan’s reaction is hilarious. Just walks away ahaha while Celina jams out.

Harper telling Lucy to ‘run.’ at the bachelorette party had me rolling. Mekia has great dead pan comedic timing. I adore her for it.

I love Nyla looking out for Celina with Aaron. She’s such a good mentor. Telling her Being Aaron's only support is a slow poison. It's true I've been there.

They all looked amazing for this wedding. We have the most beautiful cast. End to end.

The music at the wedding primo. John Mayer, Young MC and Alicia keys. Solid af. Good job James haha

[hawkogurl]

I barely get to talk about Corpse Harry on places that aren't discord (if you want more him in real time join the discord come talk to me about him) but recently we had a very good discussion of the fact I need to lean into FTDverse Harry effectively being the antichrist more because its so fucking funny

-He cannot enter churches or any similar religious sites. It's not even like, video game out of bounds invisible walls. It's like minecraft slime blocks. He tries to go to MJ's wedding and gets flung halfway across the street

-Similarly, he's repulsed by religious symbols. Peter lets him hold his star of david and it burns into his palm.

-When near anything religious in connotation, his nose will bleed

-He is the first white man with a reason he thinks salt is spicy. He can still eat it, it's just spicy. Confusingly, this means he has a higher normal spice tolerance.

Harry: It's sort of weird, salt is spicier than most habaneros or ghost peppers or whatever Harry: You know how it is Harry: Being white

-Holy water physically burns him

-He can't eat foods traditionally religious in connotation. He tries to eat matzo and the back of his throat just fucking detonates.

-He has Wolfe Glick Milk Curse

-Absolutely has had an Evan Kelmp "A pig's head in a butcher shop told me that god and the devil killed each other" moment. Dead animals regularly tell him things. He has learned to humor them.

-Has no shadow

-Prior to dying his eyes didn't glow, but they were reflective sort of like a cats

-"Man, I wish I could visit my mom's grave more but whenever I try dead people's hands always shoot out of the grave and grab my ankles. Totally normal grave experience that happens to everyone."

-While they're 'dating' MJ drags him into an oddities shot with various animal skulls and taxidermy animals and their heads and the skulls kept turning to face him and all the candles near by immediately went out and the owner freaked out at him and kicked them out

-"Hey dad, someone in a yellow mask on the subway today just handed me their wallet. What do I do?" Followed by Norman thousand yard stare in his direction as he's reminded that he's being spoken to by the physical manifestation of his worst decisions

-Every full moon Norman gets reminded of his faustian stupidity as he walks into his son's bedroom covered in uncomfortably familiar symbols drawn in blood he cannot determine the origin of.

-Harry is absolutely terrible at all science, but he can easily identify most animal skulls and name most pre 18th century alchemical symbols on pure instinct. Peter manages to get him to pass high school chemistry by using alchemy symbols to teach it to him. He doesn't think it's weird, he just thinks Harry is autistic too.

-Harry is frustratingly oblivious to the fact none of this is normal

[all-the-things-2020]

Stalker - A Late Night Talking Story

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x OFC (Emily)

Rating: PG

Warnings: description of online stalker behavior, gun violence

Summary: Not long after their wedding, Dieter and Emily realize they have an online stalker … who wants to replace Emily.

Word count: 4400

Tag list: @rhoorl @avastrasposts @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @gwendibleywrites @weho2kcmo

Wedding photos started popping up on the internet right away. First were the ones our family and friends posted on their social media accounts, which were copied and posted elsewhere by fans. Dieter had posted a few photos of me on his Instagram with the caption “My beautiful wife” and those had gotten quite a reaction. Then the ones People had bought from our photographer hit their website and all hell broke loose on Tumblr.

I was on the couch, scrolling on my phone, laughing at some of the comments and tearing up at others, when I came across something rather disturbing.

“Hey, have you seen this?” I asked Dieter. He was on his iPad, reading a script that his agent had emailed him.

“Hmm?”

“This comment on your Insta post,” I said, showing him my phone. He put down his tablet and took my phone.

“Holy shit,” he said.

“That was my reaction, too,” I said. Most of the comments were congratulations or a series of heart emojis or other positive messages. This one was … not.

“Fuck that whore bitch to hell! Stealing my man. She’ll pay.”

Dieter logged into Instagram on his tablet, deleted the comment and blocked the user. “Sorry about that, babe, I should have gone through all the comments and caught that.”

“No worries, there were thousands,” I replied. I used to go through all my comments but after getting so many followers, I couldn’t keep up anymore.

Out of curiosity, I checked my list of followers and sure enough, the same username was on my list.

“Mrsbravoforreal ,” I read. I clicked on the account and scrolled through her photos. They were all pictures of Dieter, some of them photoshopped poorly to include a woman who I assumed was the account owner. She was in her twenties, wore way too much makeup, had badly dyed blonde hair and tight clothes that did nothing to flatter her.

“Should we be concerned about this?” I asked.

Dieter scrolled through her photos and nodded. “I’ll talk to my manager in the morning,” he said. “I wouldn’t bother except for that comment. There are always wacko fans out there, but something about this doesn’t seem quite right.”

I shuddered. Not quite right was an understatement. I poked around on Tumblr until I found a blog with some of those same photos. “Oh, shit,” I said. This account was called “oneandonlymrsbravo” and included not just photos but some rather detailed and graphic fan fiction written about Dieter himself, not his characters.

“Now what?” Dieter said, and I showed him a post that described in excruciating (and badly written) detail how the narrator gave him a blow job in the back of a limousine on the way to a movie premiere.

“That … that was …,” he just shook his head.

“I know,” I said. “It’s got to be the same person. The photos are the same.”

“Write down that username,” he said. “And get some screenshots just in case she takes it down later.”

“You should have taken a screenshot of that comment before you deleted it,” I said.

“Shit, yeah,” he said. “Did she post anything on your account?”

I scrolled back through my posts, checking the comments carefully. Sure enough, I found several:

“Die bitch,” on a photo of me and Dieter at a friend’s birthday party.

“Fat old cow,” on a photo of me in a bathing suit and a floppy sun hat reading a book by the pool.

“Fuck you, he’s mine,” on a selfie of me and Dieter at the park eating ice cream cones.

“I’ll kill you, bitch,” on a picture of me in my wedding dress getting ready for the pre-wedding photo shoot.

“Maybe we should call the police instead of your manager,” I said, as another shiver ran down my spine.

************************************

We reported mrsbravoforreal AKA oneandonlymrsbravo to the police, who sent us the forms to file a complaint but said they couldn’t do much. They would try to find out her real name from Instagram and Tumblr but their privacy policies might not allow them to release that information. Unless they did, we would have no idea who this woman was or where she lived.

“Honestly, until she actually tries to do something, we can’t do anything,” the officer told us. “If she shows up on your property, we can charge her with trespassing, or if she tries to physically harm either of you, we can charge her with assault. Otherwise, our hands are tied.”

Dieter hung up the phone, which we’d had on speaker. “Well, they weren’t much help,” he said.

“I just hope she’s not local,” I said. “I don’t like knowing she’s out there.”

He opened his arms and pulled me into a tight embrace. “Neither do I,” he admitted. “Maybe we should hire some security and upgrade the alarm system on the house.”

I hated the idea of having to hire security guards but with the police admitting their hands were tied, it did make sense. “That might be a good idea,” I said quietly.

“It’ll be okay, sweetie,” he said. “She’s not going to hurt us. I promise.”

****************************

The alarm company came out the next day to upgrade our system, installing about a million motion sensitive cameras around the perimeter of the property and putting in a control panel that made the dashboard of the Millenium Falcon look like a pocket calculator.

“I think I need to get a degree in electrical engineering to operate this thing,” I said, flipping through the instruction manual.

“There’s a video on the website,” the technician said. “It’s not as complicated as it looks.”

“You don’t know my husband,” I told him. “I just barely taught him how to delete voicemails off his phone.”

“Hey,” Dieter said, swatting at my arm. The technician laughed.

Later that afternoon, the private security company that Dieter had contacted sent out a pair of security guards. They were large, heavily muscled men with military style haircuts. Charles was African American, soft spoken and very serious. Leandro was Latino, boisterous and joking.

“Can you show us what information you have on this woman?” Charles asked. I showed him her social media accounts and the screenshots of her comments on our posts.

“Bat shit crazy,” he said after a few minutes. “We’ll take care of you, ma’am, don’t worry.”

The two of them sat down with their phones out and started asking us our schedule for the next week. I didn’t have much going on, but Dieter had some commitments and Charles and Leandro quickly set up a schedule. When Dieter was out and about, one of them would follow him, while the other stayed with me; if we were both at home, one of them would be on call while the other kept an eye on our house. We all exchanged cell phone numbers, so we could quickly get hold of them in an emergency. We also gave them access to our alarm system app.

“Okay, I’m on tonight,” Leandro said. “I’ll be outside in my car for the most part, but I might do a perimeter patrol once or twice. I can watch the camera feed on the app, but I’ll turn off the alert function if I do a patrol so it doesn’t go off and scare you.” He laughed. “Forgot to do that one time and the family’s abuela came at me with a chancla. You do not want to piss off a Mexican grandmother, I’ll tell you.”

When we went to bed that night, I couldn’t settle down. We’d set the alarm on “STAY” mode, which meant we could walk around the house without setting it off, but I was still worried it would accidentally go off.

“Go to sleep,” Dieter said, snuggling close. “The alarm is on and Leandro’s outside. Nothing’s going to happen.”

“I know,” I said. “I just feel like we’re being held captive in our own home. I mean, she’s the crazy one and we have to be locked up like prisoners.”

He smoothed my hair and pressed a kiss against my forehead. “I know, it sucks,” he said. “Hopefully, she’ll get bored and move on and we can forget about the bodyguards.”

I murmured my agreement and kissed him back, but I wasn’t so sure this woman was going to give up so easily.

****************************

I had blocked Wacko Lady (as we’d taken to calling her) on all my social media accounts, but after a week or two I noticed some familiar comments on my posts. This time, the username was thereallyrealmrsbravo and while the first few comments were relatively mild, they soon turned extremely nasty. I took a screenshot of every one before finally blocking her again. A week later, I started getting comments from iamtherealmrsbravo and I got really scared.

“You’re going to die, bitch. Watch your back.”

“Nice house. I’m gonna like living there.”

“You’ll look nice in that dress in your coffin.”

I took screenshots and forwarded them to Charles and Leandro, as well as blocking her and reporting her to Instagram yet again, then called Dieter. He was in New York for a few days doing some promotional stuff for a theater company he’d worked with in the past.

“I’m getting really scared,” I told him. “She’s nuts.”

“I know, she’s posted some shit on my account, too,” he said. “I was talking to some of the folks here, and one of them suggested you create a tumblr profile and start asking around about her, see if anyone knows who she really is. Maybe send messages to some of the people who react to her posts.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I said. “The police certainly aren’t doing shit.” Every time she posted another threat, I emailed it to the LAPD officer who was assigned to our case, but didn’t get much feedback from him.

“Or we could hire a private detective,” Dieter suggested. I liked that idea.

“Even better,” I told him. “I’ll look into that.” I sighed. “Sorry to dump all this on you, babe.”

“I’m sorry I’m not there to help you deal with it,” he replied. “Hang in there, sweetie, I’ll be home the day after tomorrow.”

“I know,” I said. “Love you.”

“Love you, too,” he said. We hung up and I started searching the internet for private detectives in Los Angeles.

**************************************

Charles walked discreetly a few feet behind me, close enough that it was clear he was my bodyguard, but far enough away not to invade my personal space. I was starting to get used to being escorted this way, mostly because both Charles and Leandro were so good at their jobs.

We went into the high rise building on Wilshire where the private investigator I was thinking of hiring had her office. She was an expert at cyber crimes, which was why I wanted to talk to her. If anyone could figure out who Wacko Lady was, it was Miranda Cortez.

As we walked through the lobby, I caught a glimpse of peroxide blonde hair heading out the other door, but whoever it was was gone by the time I could turn my head. I got startled every time I saw a fake blonde in my peripheral vision, and there were plenty of bottle blondes in L.A. so it happened a lot. I dismissed the incident from my mind as Charles and I got on the elevator and rode silently to the 22nd floor.

Ms. Cortez’ office had a sleek, modern waiting area, where I left Charles. I was ushered into her private office, which was much homier, with dark wooden bookshelves and comfy leather armchairs. Cortez herself was polished and professional, in a grey suit and red stiletto heels.

“So you have a stalker,” she said once I was settled into the chair across from her.

“Yes,” I said. “Have you had a chance to look over the screenshots I sent you?”

She nodded. “I took a glance. With my connections, I should be able to help you find out who she is. After that, you still have to rely on the police, but at least you’ll know who you’re dealing with.”

She slid a piece of paper across the desk with an obscenely large figure written on it. “I know my fee is high,” she said apologetically, “but high tech is expensive and so is this office.”

“I understand,” I said. I was still getting used to being what most of my friends and family would call “rich.” I had full access to both Dieter’s personal bank account and the corporate one. We could afford Ms. Cortez’ fee.

“Let’s do this,” I said.

“Okay, Mrs. Bravo,” she said. “Let’s find out who this crazy bitch is.” She laughed and pulled out a contract for me to sign.

I signed the contract, giving her permission to access all my social media accounts, and gave her my passwords and other login information. “I may need to create some new accounts in your name or under fake names,” she said. “If I need any photos or other information, I’ll let you know.”

We said goodbye and I collected Charles. “How’d it go?,” he asked.

“Pretty good,” I said. For the first time in a while, I felt like we were getting somewhere. “Want to stop for a smoothie or something on the way home? My treat.”

Charles shook his head. “I’m working,” he said.

“Okay,” I said, shrugging. I’d tried to get Charles to relax a bit but he was always one hundred percent on task when he was working. Leandro on the other hand … he would have tried to talk me into getting a beer instead.

We retrieved my car from the parking garage and I sat back in the passenger seat as Charles drove back to the house. I’d seen another flash of blonde hair as we were paying the parking fee, but I didn’t think anything of it. Miranda Cortez was on the case, and I let myself relax.

************************

I got very detailed daily updates from Ms. Cortez, as well as a phone call every afternoon. She opened a tumblr account under the username mrsbravoforreallyreal and gave me the login information.

“Post some photos,” she told me. “Make sure they’re things that haven’t been posted anywhere else, so it’s clear that you’ve got original content. I want to try to bait her into responding to the account. The more she posts, the more data my team will have to work with.”

She also asked me to take and post some specific photos on Instagram and Twitter, basically different content on all my social media platforms. Since she could also log in, she could see every comment. It wasn’t long before there were some responses.

About a week after I’d hired her, I got an email from her with the subject line “Bingo!”

“Deet!” I called, summoning him from the backyard where he was messing around with the pool filter. I’d told him just to call the pool guy but like a typical man, he’d insisted on “looking at it” first.

I showed him the email. “Cortez knows her shit,” he said approvingly.

Wacko Lady was Samantha Bixby, a 23 year old dental technician school student from Fountain Valley who worked part time at a Jamba Juice. Cortez’ team had found her Facebook account and, as she said, “if you have the cash, Facebook will sell you anything you need.”

I felt a bit of relief at finally having a name, but knowing she was local was very unsettling. She could have been any of those glimpses of blonde hair I’d seen over the past few weeks.

I forwarded the email to Charles, Leandro, and the police officer, then replied to Ms. Cortez, thanking her profusely.

“Now what?” Dieter asked.

“Cortez said we have two choices,” I said. “We can just sit on the information and see what she does, or we can have a lawyer draft a letter to her letting her know that we know who she is and that we’ll take legal action if she doesn’t cease and desist.” I ran my hand through my hair, a nervous habit I’d picked up from Dieter. “That might scare her enough to make her back off, or it might tip her over the edge, depending on how unstable she is.”

“What do you want to do?,” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I just don’t know.”

************************************

In the end, we decided to let Samantha Bixby know we were on to her. If the lawyer’s letter scared her off, the problem would be solved. If it provoked her to step up her harassment, then maybe we’d finally have some reason for the police to get involved. It was risky, but with the alarm system as well as Charles and Leandro, we felt pretty safe.

Two weeks after the letter went out (delivered by registered mail, so we knew she’d received it), there hadn’t been any comments from any of her accounts, even though Dieter and I had both posted several photos. I was starting to relax for the first time in months. Then the power went out.

It was a windy night, one of those Santa Ana winds that just keep blowing and blowing, grinding away at everyone’s nerves, fanning wildfires and knocking out power poles right and left. As soon as the lights went out, my cell phone rang. It was Charles, who was on duty that night.

“Looks like power’s out on the whole block,” he said. “Your alarm should switch to backup battery but I don’t think the cameras will work, so I’ll walk the perimeter every so often until the power’s back on. If you need anything, call me.”

“Okay, be careful out there,” I replied. I knew how crazy the winds could be, sending flying debris everywhere.

Dieter found some candles and our battery operated lantern. “Charles?,” he asked when he came back into the room.

“Yeah, he’s going to do perimeter checks until the power comes back on, since the cameras won’t work, but he said the alarm itself should switch to backup.”

Dieter shook his head. “No, it won’t,” he said. “They called yesterday to say there’s been a recall on those batteries and they’ll be out next week to replace it.”

“Shit,” I said, texting the information to Charles. Even though Samantha had been quiet lately, the power outage and the wind had me nervous again.

“It’ll be okay,” Dieter said, wrapping his arms around me. “Charles is out there. Let’s just call it a night and everything will be fine in the morning.”

He blew out the candles and let me into the bedroom, holding the lantern ahead of him. I started giggling, because it reminded me of Phantom of the Opera, when the Phantom is leading Christine into the catacombs on the way to his lair.

“‘What’s so funny?” Dieter asked.

“All you need is a mask and a cape, and you’d be a perfect Phantom,” I said.

“Aw, shit,” he said, shaking his head. “Just don’t expect me to sing, okay?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I said. “But maybe I’ll sing for you.” I started humming “Phantom of the Opera” but he turned to face me and pressed his finger against my lips.

“No, we are not going down that road,” he said. “You get started on musicals and that’s all I hear for the rest of the week.”

“Spoilsport,” I said, but I stopped humming. We undressed and crawled into bed. The tree outside our bedroom window was tapping at the glass as the wind gusted, and I knew it was going to take me a long time to fall asleep. Dieter drifted off after about twenty minutes, but I was still staring at the ceiling an hour later.

I was just about to get my phone off the nightstand and check the SCE website for an update on the outage when I heard a noise. It was probably the wind, but something didn’t feel quite right. I palmed my phone and slipped out of bed.

As I reached the bedroom door, I saw a shadow move in the hallway, and then suddenly I was on the floor.

“Got you now, bitch,” a voice hissed in my ear.

She switched on a flashlight, blinding me for a second. As I turned away from the light, I thumbed open the Phone app and pressed “call” on the last incoming call, then shoved the phone behind the door so she couldn’t see it. I only hoped that Charles didn’t start talking too much when he didn’t hear me on the line.

“Let me go,” I said loudly, hoping to both clue Charles in on what was happening and wake up Dieter.

Samantha laughed. “Oh, I’ll let you go,” she said. “Go to hell!”

Dieter sat up, switching on the lantern, which he’d left on the bedside table on his side of the bed. “What the hell …,” he said, cutting off as he saw Samantha crouched in front of me, a flashlight in one hand and a gun in the other.

“Hi, honey,” she said with a demented giggle. “Stay in bed, baby, I’ll be there in a minute. Just got to take out the trash first.” She dropped the flashlight and pointed the gun at my head.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Dieter said. “Don’t hurt her. Just … just tell me what you want and you’ve got it. Just don’t hurt her.”

“He’s right,” I said. She looked at me and I shuddered at the hatred in her eyes. “If you hurt me, he’ll never forgive you.”

She narrowed her eyes. “But if I don’t kill you, how can I take your place?”

“Think about it,” I said. “If I leave, if I go away and never come back, you can have him. But if you kill me … do you honestly think he could be with the woman who killed his wife?”

She cocked her head to one side, but kept the gun pointed at my head. “But … but how do I know you’d stay away? How do I know he wouldn’t still want you?” She started laughing. “Oh, how stupid I am … why would he want you after he had me?” She sat back on her heels and smirked. “I’m young, I’m skinny, I’m blonde, I’ve got perfect boobs, I can give him babies,” she said. She was actually preening, even as she kept the gun trained on me. “I’m everything you’re not, you fat old cow,” she spat.

I heard a noise behind her and I started sobbing to cover it up. Please be Charles, I thought. “You’re right,” I cried. “You’re right. He deserves better than me. Just … just don’t hurt me and I’ll leave. I’ll go away and never come back. You win. You win.”

She smiled at me, and then her face hardened. “No, I think I’ll still kill you,” she said.

As she leaned forward to press the barrel of the gun against my forehead, I saw Charles creeping up behind her.

“Samantha!” Dieter shouted. It distracted her just enough that her attention wavered. “Please, don’t do it. I’m yours. I’m yours, baby. But not if you kill her.”

She started to pull the gun away from me and that was enough for Charles. He lunged through the doorway, slamming her to the ground. She pulled the trigger and the gun went off, sending a bullet into the wall behind me. Charles quickly disarmed her and pulled out some zip ties from his back pocket.

Dieter was already on the phone with 911. “Yes, she tried to kill my wife. Our security guard has her subdued but we need an officer out here now.”

Samantha was squirming beneath Charles’ bulk, screaming obscenities and practically foaming at the mouth. I leaned against the wall, trying to breathe and trying not to look at the bullet hole two feet to my left. Then Dieter was at my side, and I buried my face in his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me.

“If I hadn’t had the phone in my hand,” I gasped. “If Charles hadn’t known what was going on …” I dissolved into sobs for real this time. Dieter rubbed my back, choking back his own tears, trying to be strong for me while I had a mini breakdown.

“It’s okay, baby,” he said over and over. “It’s okay.”

Leandro burst into the house a few minutes later, having been alerted by Charles, and soon after the police arrived. They dragged Samantha out of the room, then the officers took our statements. Charles went first, calmly telling them everything that had happened from his point of view, the power outage, his perimeter patrol, getting the phone call from me and overhearing Samantha’s threats. When the officer turned to me and Dieter, I was more composed, but still shaking.

I tried to tell everything in order, but the events were already starting to get jumbled in my mind. Dieter kept rubbing my shoulder and back, reassuring me without words that I was doing fine. When I finished, he kissed my temple before giving his own statement to the officer. After what seemed like hours, the police left and we were alone with Charles and Leandro.

“We’ll both be outside if you need anything,” Leandro said. “Just try to relax now. Everything is fine.”

They left and Dieter and I were alone on the couch in the living room. We sat in silence for several minutes, then I crawled into his lap, leaning my head on his shoulder and slipping my arm around his neck so I could press a kiss to his throat.

“I have never been more scared in my life,” he said quietly. “When she pointed that gun at your head ….” He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight. “I thought I was going to lose you,” he said, his voice ragged with emotion. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.” He buried his face in my hair, kissing my neck and shoulder while his tears smeared across my skin.

“Me, too, sweetie ,” I said. “Me, too.”

We stayed on the couch, curled tightly together, until the sun came up and we finally felt safe enough to fall asleep. The nightmare was over, but it would take us a while to recover.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph! Curious if you had any existing lists ready to go? :D

Hi Lovely!

I do! And based on this poll here, this is the list you guys want to see!! I hope you enjoy!!

HURT/COMFORT Under 5K Pt. 2

See also:

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 1: Under 5K Words

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 2: 5K to 10K Words

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 3: 10K to 50K Words

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 4: 50K+ Words Pt. 1

==

And When The Night Is Over by Simply Isnt On (K, 329 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Platonic Bed Sharing / Not Slash) – Sherlock and John sleep together.

Once Upon A Time by ProfessorSquirrell (T, 908 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Snippets of Life, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Implied Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending) – There is a room in Sherlock's mind palace where nothing gets deleted. And it looks like this...

My Unfortunately Average Sized Cranium by Haelia (K+, 996 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Headache, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Past Drug Use, Doctor John) – In which Sherlock has a migraine. ALMOST Johnlock. Not quite.

The Four Incidents by TheGirlWithRedHair22 (K+, 1,064 w., 1 Ch. || S1 Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, John Whump, Accident, John POV, Hand Holding, Worried Sherlock, Sherlock’s Self Esteem) – The first time John was present when someone insulted Sherlock, he brushed it off as a strange coincidence.

Sleep Tonight by Jenn1984 (T, 1,220 w, 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Bed Sharing, Worried Sherlock, Sick John, Hugs/Cuddles, Touch Neediness) – Fingers begin prying open his jacket looking for a wound and John would really like to swat at them. No, he's not hit anywhere, he's just damn sick.- John Watson has a fever.

Poppies For John by grannysknitting (T, 1,102 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship) – Rememberance Sunday fic - John notices a discrepancy between Sherlock's stated intent and his actions. Sherlock, for once, explains himself. Friendship or pre-slash, your choice. Intended in honour of those who defend us.

And, Usually, He's the One Who GIVES Me a Headache by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 1,315 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, POV John, Cranky John, Headaches, Head Massage) – A migraine is never fun.

Hallucinations can't open doors by Bespectacled dreamer (K+, 1,330 w., 1 Ch. || Reunion, Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Hallucinations, John’s Wedding, Light Humour) – In which John gets married and Sherlock gets a broken nose. 

Here to Stay by MockJayPhoenix12 (K, 1,574 w., 1 Ch. || Post Reunion, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Headache, Bed Sharing, Care Taker Sherlock, Hand Holding, Fluff) – On Sherlock's first day home, John wakes with a migraine.

3:00 in the Morning is a Great Time to Talk by Aztecwarfareandcrumping (K+, 1,775 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Bed Sharing, First Person POV John, Cuddling, Worried Sherlock, Comforting John, Platonic Affection/Love) – "Are you trying to talk your way into my bed?" "Obviously." 

Dying Changes Everything by whitchry9 (K+, 1,919 w., 1 Ch || Sherlock POV, Suicidal Ideation, Near-Death, Hospital, Sherlock Whump, Gunshot, Unhappy/Ambiguous Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship) – Sherlock is having an existential crisis and wants to have a near death experience like John did to gain some perspective. “Shoot me John!” he insisted, gesturing to himself. John just looked at him. “Are you completely mad?” 

Study in John by chappysmom (K+, 2,158 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiP, POV John, Introspection, Friendship, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, John’s Limp) – After the events of "A Study in Pink," John lies on the couch in Baker Street and thinks about the whirlwind events of the day. What is he getting himself into?

A Room of One's Own by whitchry9 (K+, 2,174 w., 5 Ch. || S2 Timeline, Hurt/Comfort, Supernatural, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Coma, John Whump, Worried Sherlock, POV John, Angst, Friendship/Bromance, Hospital) – When a severe head injury lands John in a coma, somehow he ends up in Sherlock's mind palace. It's actually pretty nice there, and John is entertaining the notion of staying there, rather than returning to his broken body. But Sherlock isn't taking it as well, and John can feel him breaking around him.

Spilt Milk by Erin Giles (K+, 2,222 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – John comes back from a trip to the supermarket only to take a trip up the stairs. Both shopping and blood are spilled leaving Sherlock to play the role of Doctor.

BBCSH 'The Comfort of Company' by tigersilver (T, 2,769 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF/Mary, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Bed Sharing, Grumpy John, Touching, Clingy/Handsy Sherlock, Cranky Sherlock, Fluff and Light Angst) – It's a trope that John and Sherlock end up sharing in the same bed eventually and I admit I do adore it unconditionally, along with all it infers as to the lowering of defenses and the heightening of trust. I put forth for your consideration that the notion persists because those who think about these things realize these two men are each in dire need of some good company.

Unquantifiable by 221b_hound (M, 2,799 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Sherlock/Sally Friendship, Grumpy John, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Pet Names, Texting, Sweet Sherlock, Princess Bride References) – John remains a terrible and foul-tempered patient, but he does try to make up for it with pet names and text message silliness. In the meantime, Sally Donovan visits Baker Street for a hint about the Milverton case, and has to deal with a Sherlock Holmes who can't find words big enough to thank her for saving John's life at the warehouse. For afters, there's a viewing of The Princess Bride. Part 33 of the Unkissed series

Museums and Laboratories by RhododendronPonticum (T, 3,004 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, Obsessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Separation Anxiety, Doctor John, Co-Dependent Sherlock) – If Sherlock's kitchen was his laboratory, then his bedroom was his museum.

Reversed by whitchry9 (K+, 3,072 w., 6 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Medical Anomolies, John Gets Shot) – The man pointed his gun at John's chest, right at his heart, and shot.' Wherein John is shot, and Sherlock is the one panicking.

It's Just Another Birthday by Vintage Tea Party (K, 3,207 w., 2 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Sherlock’s Birthday, Sherlock 3rd Person POV) – When John makes a birthday cake for Sherlock he thinks its an innocent enough gesture. But nothing is ever normal with Sherlock and this isn't just another birthday. 

Human Body Pillow by Lunavere (K, 4,122 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Sleepy Johnlock, Bed Sharing) – A story about the five times John fell asleep on Sherlock, and the one time Sherlock fell asleep on him.

What John Doesn't Know (Won't Hurt Him) by blueink3 (NR [T], 4,392 w., 1 Ch, || S3 Fix It, Pining Sherlock, Snippets of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Fluff and Angst, Five and One, Hopeful Ending, POV Sherlock) – Five people who see Sherlock's scars before John Watson. But Sherlock's secrets were never something he could keep from his blogger for long.

Date Night by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 4,451 w., 1 Ch. || Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Caring John, Schmoopy Fluff, Fidget Cube, Baking / Cooking, Date Night, Established Relationship, POV Sherlock Holmes, Understanding John, Grumpy Sherlock, John’s Bum, Kisses, Hugs, Domestic Fluff, Touching, Hair Petting, Light Humour) – It's John and Sherlock's first Date Night as an official couple and Sherlock needs it to be PERFECT. Mrs Hudson helps. Part 7 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

When Your Belly's in the Trench by Morgan_Stuart (T, 4,743 w., 1 Ch. || PTSD, Character Study, Rescue, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Torture, Trauma, Danger, Drama, Kidnapping/Captivity) – The next time that door opens, John Watson will kill the person on the other side.

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day.

Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday. Though one of these facts is a fib!

Minch, Yoda’s first name is.

Bananas have more trade regulations than AK-47s.

About 20% of US children eat pizza on any given day.

In Oklahoma, it's illegal to get a bear drunk and then wrestle it.

The original Popeye got his strength from rubbing a magic hen.

Persistent hiccups can be stopped with a digital rectal massage.

The average IQ of all the serial killers who have been caught is 89.

Samuel L. Jackson was an usher at Martin Luther King Jr.’s funeral.

French employees are forbidden by law from eating lunch at their desks.

Ejaculation from a human typically happens at a speed of around 28 miles per hour.

The longer a whiskey is aged, the longer it takes for your body to get rid of the alcohol.

When the Bakerloo line was last cleaned, staff pulled out 6.5 tonnes of grime and fluff.

American judges give harsher sentences when their football team unexpectedly loses.

In Star Trek, when Mr. Spock says something is “impossible”, it happens 83% of the time.

People suffering from superior canal dehiscence syndrome can hear their own eyeballs moving.

If you make it to the airport without dying, you've already passed the deadliest part of plane travel.

In 2016, the head of MI6 said he wouldn’t hire James Bond because he does not act ethically enough.

The US National Security Agency has asked employees to spy on people with ‘dignity and respect’.

‘Russians in the gazebo’ (‘russere i lysthuset’) is an old-fashioned Danish euphemism for menstruation.

If you wanted to write a letter out of blood you would have to write it in under a minute before the blood thickens too quickly.

Having sex uses on average 2.8 times as much energy as sitting on the sofa, but playing the trombone uses 3.5 times as much.

If you get a blood transfusion but are given the wrong type of blood (A, B, O, AB) one of the symptoms is "a sense of impending doom".

Until the 1840s, there was no maximum size for a rugby team; matches were played with up to 300 players on the pitch at once.

In relationships, the ‘magic ratio’ is 5:1. Having five or more positive interactions for every negative interaction is seen as key to a stable marriage.

There are about 40 supervolcanoes around the world capable of claiming up to a billion lives, and we're about 24,000 years overdue for an eruption!

A flapjack bakery in Lancashire plan to launch a new product in time for Christmas. After extensive research, they’ve come up with a product name: Flaps.

In movies, where they use real life dog actors, the people who edit the film sometimes have to add CGI tails because the dogs can’t stop wagging as they are so happy.

Abraham Lincoln's son (Robert Todd Lincoln) was present at three different presidential assassinations. After McKinley, he decided not to accept any more invitations.

Dragonflies can inhale water through a long tube at the tip of their anus and save it. Later, if they need to, they can shoot the water out of their anus to make them fly faster.

Pythagoras drowned a student to death because the student proved the existence of irrational numbers which contradicted Pythagoras and his cults' (the brotherhood) beliefs.

In 1997, researchers discovered a giant pill millipede. It was given the Latin name ‘Zoosphaerium darthvaderi’ thanks to the shape of its anal shield which resembles Darth Vader’s helmet.

The mayor of San Pedro Huamelula, Mexico is expected to marry an alligator. The tradition dates back to pre-Hispanic times but has been updated. The alligator wears a white wedding dress and the groom kisses the bride.

An early use of ‘asshole’ is found in a 1933 U.S. story about a family called ‘The Eastons’. “When God got the job done, there was a big pile of assholes left over. It looks to me like The Almighty just throwed all them assholes together and made the Easton family.”

Pepsi once had the 6th largest military in the world after the price of Russian Vodka couldn't cover a deal for Pepsi products. They traded 17 submarines, a frigate, a cruiser and a destroyer. The president of Pepsi Co. told National Security, "We are disarming the USSR faster than you are!"

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

[meandmyechoes]

Kingohger ep19

i know i said this is the first week i hadn't felt nervous but i turned on the computer to write the little pre-essay and got myself worked up thinking about hcs lol the magic of midnights i guess also i woke/was woken up at 5am this morning

homemade extended nitiasa with Blazar-kun :)

START!!

scream JERAMIE DOES SLEEP IN A NET!!!!! HC CONFIRMED

gosh i'm like dying for more Kagu-Yanma common man combo

lmao the throne room has to have best only reliable internet reception

take the crumb of Rita naming Yanma first? But! Rita is on first-name basis face-to-face with the team now!

The OP visual is one continuous shot of them all standing together 😭😭😭😭

"You were worried about me, Kuwagon?" "I'm alright :)" talking-to-the-Shugods Gira is the cutest

Blue and White are making up? YESSSSS Grandson combi? Kidult combi? Prankster combi???

I'll never not laugh at Jeramie calling Racles 'that brat'

Racles stress relief squeeze ball… merch it bandai or you're a coward

hi jeramie you know that iiko grandson of yours called you the culprit 2 episodes ago

they don't have to be showing Jeramie and Yanma walked right past Kaguragi but it's so funny

Suzume can make outward calls the whole time??? (or she's just benefitting from the chaos)

Suzume carrying the whole Shugoddom National Theatre troupe they should've let her train one in those 15 years if only she needn't be kept secret

the reaction difference between improv theatre with kurokos vs. with Shuggodom guards lol

i'm not entirely sure but… if Suzume is helping Racles make sure his guards are safe (because they both know the guards are too loyal to leave their king)…

Douga-san… his old-fashioned loyalty + quick to adapt. lately Douga-san has been shown quite positively huh HEY WHERE'S BOSHIMARU

hi i'd like to donate to the Get Shugoddom's Green Screen A Real Carpet/Brick Road Fund

gawd did not expect my tears to break formation at the orphange reunion

fking flute ver of inferno

the people's recognition *single tear*

this ep is just full power Racles whump huh

Grandson combo

yo nkosopa bgm new arrangement

is racles overacting here 🤔 (racels's second-rate villain act, not yano-san's)

"The King will not escape"… (ep17 title)

??? who's the villain here???

did Jeramie just called Racles worse than 'what came out from the bottom' (shit. he meant racles is shit.)

so Gira doesn't want his brother dead 😏 or does he not want Yanma a killer? 🤔😏

eh iyaiyaiya kingoh can you stop with the tone whiplash??

*claps* good the script remembered to resolve Yanma and Jeramie' conflict in ep13. Grandpa-son combi YESSS

omg Rita-sama 🙇🙇 late to the group henshin and had Morfonia work over time so they can fit Ohsama Sentai into the acronym NERD

[outside the gate] Kaguragi: do we still wait for rita or go in first Himeno: well the boys can't stall much longer i'll have to make sure rita's timing is perfect

[jumping up and down from the awesome fights to OP]

this level of female-female ranger combo action… used to be the crossover extravaganza 😭😭

they can perform such a compliated choreo in such narrow space SAs saikou 😭😭

YES I LOVE THANK YOU FOR BOTH KAGU AND YANMA CROUCHING while dismissingly shooting at MOTW like the grassroots they were

they have six people but divide into 4 groups

literally i'm 3 years old again what's better than Super Sentai

"The only crime I should be accounted for" sigh I know this line will come back to bite us re ep1

Himeno-sama you can't keep acting cute towards Rita to get what you want… They are about to run out of social battery

WINGS WINGS WINGS WINGS WINGS WINGS [FOAMING AT THE MOUTH] WINGS WINGS WINGS WINGS WINGS WINGS [FOAMING AT THE MOUTH]

them getting in each other's way - what kind of basis is this for me to develop a partnership obesession with these two

rita scream i asked for just last night?

duel? DUEL? DUEL??? MY EPISODE 18?? brothers showdown i asked for last week??

they chose a low ground to duel this time

ohohohoohoooo WEDDING YANO MASTAO YOUR RING BETRAYED YOU

Yano Masato = Tom Holland of Kingohger

that's the same mantle as Lionel's…

ngl slightly disappointed at Suzume's boring white dress

this man's soul has left his body

[macgyvertape]

A lot of people have talked in other posts about the differences between game and show Bill and Frank with how their story together plays out. But I wanted to go a bit more into detail about “they never got to live their life BEFORE the apocalypse started”. Because the show shifting the Outbreak to 2003 vs the game’s 2013 vs us watching it in 2023, means there’s a huge cultural difference around gay rights that might not be obvious.

Outbreak Day in the show is September 2003, about 2 months after Lawrence vs Texas which was the Supreme Court ruling that stated anti-sodomy laws were unconstitutional which legalized same sex activity. It wouldn’t be until 2004 that the first state legalized gay marriage, and at the time majority public opinion was against gay marriage and other gay rights. In 2013 when the game came out it would be 2 more years until same sex marriage was federally legalized or added to the Civil Rights Act. So whether in game or show canon Bill and Frank were living in a world where civilization collapsing gave them more freedom to be who they were.

Bill starts the episode as a conspiracy theory believing, hundreds of gun owning, Prepper. Someone whose motivation is to wait for the apocalypse and do the most he can to have the best life afterwards. There’s a noticeable Gadsden flag (don’t tread on me flag) on his wall, which is associated with conservative groups and some dialogue Bill has with Frank implies he was in the closet. He could have chosen to play it safe and shoot Frank just like all the soldiers did when there were too many refugees. But he chooses to let Frank in,literally into his house and into his heart, and it changes his life for the better and he’s happier. His words before dying “This isn't the tragic suicide at the end of the play. I'm old. I'm satisfied. And you were my purpose.”

Their wedding scene is one of the most heartwarming moments of the episode because it doesn’t matter that no courts exist at that point or would have recognized it in the pre-collapse. What matters is them and how they made each others lives better. They spent their last day together making each other happy and reflecting on their time together. Love will abide indeed.

My partner made a comment about how this episode fed into “bury your gays” and like, while his heart was in the right place with the critique, I felt so strongly the opposite way

Like on its face, yes, two gay men died…. But like, in a show about a zombie apocalypse where we’re tracking at least 1 Major Character Death per episode, Bill & Frank are triumphant compared to every other character. They got to live to be old and gray together after a life of relatively peaceful flourishing. They chose their deaths on their own terms, a luxury most people don’t get in this world. They got to die together, in each others arms, neither left to live and suffer alone. They got to go with dignity, autonomy, and love, in peace, together. They got to choose. They made their end meaningful. They were happy and satisfied and fulfilled. Everything that gay characters are so often not afforded in life, much less in death.

Not only that, but narratively speaking, their deaths were used in exact opposition to “bury your gays.” The trope was created to reinforce that being gay is a sin, that gays must die as punishment for their evil ways. It’s intended to be a narrative consequence, the moral of the story, a warning to its audience.

But the deaths of Bill and Frank were used as closure to a story arc about living a happy, fulfilled life with your partner. Even further than that, their arc was used to demonstrate that there is meaning in life because we choose to create meaning, that purpose is found in each other, in loving someone, even at the end of the world. They are held up as an example of what to strive for, of a reason to keep living, of something to pursue. It is completely antithetical to bury your gays and is in fact a brilliant subversion of it in that it grounds the purpose of the narrative itself.

Tl;dr: TLOU really said love wins.

[restapesta]

"Remember when you tried to kill Frank?"

Mickey's head snaps up to look at Ian. His husband's sitting on the other side of the couch, legs propped up on the coffee table before it. He's holding his phone in his hand, thumbs paused in the air as if he was typing a text of some sort, and Mickey wonders what prompted him to even remember something from all those years ago.

Mickey doesn't press pause on the movie they were supposed to be watching. Instead, he just shrugs non-committaly, slightly hesitant of Ian's reaction to his reply. Frank's death was recent, and who knows if Ian's going down memory-lane, trying to find some parts of his life with Frank where he can reminisce.

"He caught us at the store," Ian continues, despite the fact that moments of silence had passed, and Mickey thought the subject would be dropped. "You were so scared he'd tell somebody, so you tried to kill him."

Mickey remembers it—perhaps not as vividly as Ian, but he does. The fear that had struck him after Frank announced his presence in the Kash and Grab while he and Ian were fucking. Mickey was terrified back then, and the desperate need to stop Terry from finding out overpowered any other sensible emotion he might've felt back then towards Ian.

Ian shuffles around on the couch, and Mickey observes the way he plays with his cuticles, picking at them. He soon moves on to fiddle with his ring, lower lip stuck between his teeth.

Mickey finally stops the movie, all attention diverted to the person next to him. "What's up?" He asks, aware that the gears in Ian's head are turning and taking him down a path he might not end up liking.

Ian shakes his head, still obviously deep in thought. "Nothing. Just thinking."

"About what?"

Their eyes meet, and for the first time in a long time, Mickey sees Ian's eyes are glossy, as if he's trying to hold in tears. He's breathing raggedly through his nose, and his fists are clenching, and it's all probably in the hardest of efforts not to cry.

Mickey scoots over so he's sitting closer. "Is this about Frank? Him dying?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I just remembered it." He gives Mickey a wobbly smile. "It was probably the only time I actually felt accepted by him."

Mickey doesn't understand. Had no idea what even happened with Frank and Ian during that time where he was gathering his brothers for man-slaughter. Ian had warned Frank, and Mickey's mind drifts back to that one conversation—that one sentence that would be disputed by all the years to come.

"He literally did not give a shit we were gay." Ian finally says, and his eyes seem to be clearing, no longer on the verge of breaking down. Mickey absentmindedly goes to grab his hand, stopping him from tearing at an already-bleeding scab. "He told me to fuck whoever I want to fuck. And after that, Monica..." He swallows. "Monica took me to a gay club. Told me to never be ashamed of who I was."

Mickey notices the parallel. That difference between him and Ian that was probably one of the reasons their relationship failed in those first couple of years—those detrimental, pre-bipolar years, where the sole reason for them not being together was Mickey. Ian's family never gave a shit. Mickey's did.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Ian."

He doesn't know why he feels compelled to say it, but he does, perhaps trying to finally apologize for everything that happened all those years ago. For what happened that one morning. For the wedding.

"Sorry for what?" Ian's confused, and Mickey pulls himself even closer to him, placing his head in the crook of his shoulder, letting Ian's arm envelope him. It's one way to hide his face, he guesses.

"For how I was back then. I just kept pushing you away. I was a real fucking asshole."

Ian snorts and kisses the top of Mickey's head. "It worked out, didn't it?"

"It was fucking painful."

"Yeah," Ian admits against his hair. "It was."

Mickey licks his lip, raises his head to look his husband in the eye. "You know I was in love with you, even back then?"

Ian smiles. Cards a hand through Mickey's hair. Runs a gentle palm over Mickey's cheek. Presses a small kiss to his lips. "I know."

They sit in silence for a while, the only sound in their apartment being the rumbling engines of cars coming from somewhere down below in the street.

Mickey breathes in, breathes out. "I regretted it as soon as I said it."

"Regretted what?"

"You were so much more than a warm mouth to me." He lets out a shaky chuckle. "I was a second away from shooting him. I really was. But then I remembered your face. How much I hurt you, and I couldn't fucking do it. All the time I spent in juvie, I spent regretting it."

"Not killing Frank?" Ian says dumbly, and Mickey scoffs, slapping the back of his hand against his chest.

"Hurting you, you dumbass."

They both smile at that, and the tension gets lifted suddenly, the pain replaced with the feeling of comfort that usually follows them being together. Ian holds Mickey tighter against him.

"I wouldn't change it for the world." He whispers, and Mickey feels a warmth spread through his chest.

Mickey agrees. No matter the pain, and suffering. No matter the homophobic piece-of-shit fathers, and bipolar diagnosis—it brought them here. Here, together.

Mickey lets himself grin. Grin at all the shit in their past. Ian grins back, and what more could Mickey want or need?

"I wouldn't either." He says, and means it.

Ian pulls him I'm closer, and they hit play on the movie and continue on with their night, snuggling together, playfully pushing each other for space as they did so.

The past would always fucking be there, but now, it was a reminder more than anything.

[pebblysand]

[THOUGHTS ON PEAKY BLINDERS, EPISODE 6 - SERIES 6, “LOCK AND KEY”]

i was halfway through typing a whole post about this episode but then tumblr closed the page and didn't save the draft - i'm furious and cannot be arsed to retype everything, so here are my very summarised thoughts, in absolutely no logical order, lol:

loved the reference to battleship potemkin/the untouchables with the woman and her kids in the middle of the shooting, and how our boys waited for her to leave

i think the reason why we all loved this episode so much was because it respected the contract we all signed when we started watching peaky blinders: amazing quotes that should sound cliche but somehow don't, general grandeur of acting and directing that should take you out of the episode but somehow in this show it works, and eleventh hour turnarounds that we all know are absolutely unrealistic and yet are part of the universe. this episode just won at being what this whole season should have been.

i refuse to fuck on tory benches 😭

i cried during that scene between arthur and tommy. their relationship could be the topic of a dissertation. i think they're a fantastic example of how 1) toxic doesn't mean loveless and 2) you can have a million things happen in a relationship, and still it never really changes

in that scene btw, i thought one of the most interesting quotes was when tommy says that "instead of me, there will be money. because that is what i am!" there is such loneliness in that, and in a way, that loneliness isn't disproven because even through everything, it's still tommy who provides comfort to arthur, not the other way around, even if tommy is the one dying. he's the protector and the provider, but in the end, he's terribly alone and doesn't have much of his own support network.

alfie has a wife which was surprising. also, come on, alfie, you do care.

why was tommy having all of these flashbacks and seizures though???

stephen knight is the best tv writer of his generation and i will accept no arguments to the contrary.

he took johnny dogs out of his caravan and all the way to canada, poor johnny.

bye bye michael. you will (not) be missed.

the ira thread and the billy thread were a bit disappointing overall but i felt the resolution was decent and 1), they did avenge polly, and 2), i feel like they did their best with the cards they were dealt with covid + helen mccrory. i did love both shootouts, though, and the line about arthur still being in france broke my heart.

generally, i feel like ruby's death would have been a great plot, had helen not also died. i understand that ruby's death was the original plot pre-covid, and i am assuming that what happened was that sk had this vision of the last scene with ruby running towards tommy. so, they needed to keep that plotline even after killing polly, because ruby needed to be dead for that last scene to happen. but, i think they underestimated how dark the whole series would feel with the two deaths, especially when we all knew one of them was also an irl death. i don't think this ruined the show or the experience for me, but i do think scenaristically, it was probably the one mistake they made this year.

maybe this is me reading too much into this but i loved how when tommy is about to die, he takes his jewellery off. he did in s2 when he really thought he was going to die, but didn't in s5, and i think that's very significant.

the eleventh hour, the armistice on 11/11. i just. brilliant, that man is. absolutely fucking brilliant.

(as a side note on the eleventh hour and to my point on the "contract" above, i loved how this moment was almost breaking the fourth wall saying: 'we know this deus es machina, but this is a show where deus es machina is part of the contract, and that's why it works.' and it did work. but i loved the onscreen acknowledgement of almost "here, we got you, again!")

i do wonder though why would mosley risk inviting him to the wedding if he knew the doctor was going to be there?

looking back, it felt like mosley and diana didn't really have a plot of their own in this series. they were just there to serve the whole tommy plot.

finally: yes, white horses, black horses. we get it, it's obvious. and yet, don't we fucking love it!

so, anyway, this wraps up this season, which i will undoubtedly rewatch once it hits netflix, and which i have to admit, i really loved, despite its flaws. it was an amazing conclusion to what will remain, to me, the best show of the past decade, and the show of my 20s. see you in 2024 for the movie, about ww2, presumably.

love,

pebblysand.

[writing-frenzy]

Plz let Airplane be awesome- Fic Rec

So I have a hankering for our favorite disaster of an author plz and thx. I went searching, daydreaming, and sometimes down right spelunking for some of that good Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky character fics. Did I also find some good tasty Moshang on the journey? Yes and it was good.

So, here is a place for all the treasure I managed to collect. Hope You all enjoy!~

(And any recs for more goodness will be fully accepted, plz!)

A Well Wherein Serpents Are Coiled by Nighthaunting - I am poison / And you will drink me / And you should be so lucky

Shang Qinghua transmigrates into his own terrible novel as a baby. The fact that this seems to be a world based on his first draft, where things actually happened and the plot did matter, is less than comforting. Having a second chance is nice, but ending up as cannon fodder and dying offscreen are the last things he wants to do. The only way to avoid his 'canonical' fate is to do as the System demands and try to fix his mistakes from within the world he created. Somehow this ends up with a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Luo Binghe as an An Ding Peak disciple, because writing about a kid being miserable and seeing a kid being miserable are apparently two entirely different skillsets.

The best, my heart will not move on, I am sinking with this story, it has consumed me and all I can say is ‘thank you, but can I go even deeper?’ like... it has the best world building I have ever seen for any SVSS fanfic, it is canon in my mind and I just end up loving An Ding Peak even more? like wow, I did not know that was possible. Read the fic and the only regret you will have is that you have reached the last updated chapter so soon.

-

pride is not the word I'm looking for by Tossawary - A Pre-Canon Canon Divergence fic. Shang Qinghua goes to take a self-indulgent peek at his baby protagonist son and gets a kick to the shrivelled heart for his troubles. Ahhh~! He gave up on changing canon or preventing character deaths years ago! What is he doing, helping his protagonist son's adoptive mother like this?

This story, this story, was one of the two to make me so damn hungry for all the Airplane!Shang Qinghua goodness. It leaves me wanting for more. (Also, give Airplane more family bonds and friendship, make our favorite little disaster feel things.)

-

it must follow, as the night the day by Tossawary - Airplane Bro transmigrates into his own web-novel only to find out that the System messed up his world! Shang Qinghua is a demon in this world! All the characters supposed to be humans are demons in this world! And all the characters supposed to be demons are...?Moshang's first meeting in a Role Reversal AU.

Look, if I mention their first one, of course I have to mention the amazing Role Reversal au; I can’t not miss this beautiful piece of Demon!Airplane awkwardness of being hot for the icy cultivator who could easily gut him in a second. it is so good, I love.

-

The An Ding Peak Lord's Holy Cheat Sheet by JerichoJaspersJeromeJr - There's a dozen basic things that Shang Qinghua should know but somehow doesn't. There's a hundred mysterious secrets that Shang Qinghua knows even when he shouldn't. There's a thousand profound mysteries that Shang Qinghua knows even when no mortal should. Mobei-jun has noted it all.

*Cackles* Kneel before our mighty god Airplane!  

-

Keep Your Friends Close by HeavenlyDusk -  The one where Shang Qinghua and Scum Villain Shen Qingqiu become friends, except neither of them really know what friendship actually is.

This series, by all good fiction is so damn great! I live for this disaster friendship of Shen Jiu and Airplane (and only shit, I shouldn’t laugh, but cockblocking Shen Jiu is not something I expected, but Gives me a mighty need, even if he made it his mission for Moshang to never happen.)

-

The Eye of the Emperor by fishpoets -  The attention of Great Lord Luo Binghe is not something to be coveted.

Now, this is Mobei-Jun’s POV in this one-shot, but just how soft he is with his hubby is so cute, and we get to see Shang Qinghua being a sneaky crafty and protective of his own hubby. for all of Luo Bingge’s threating aura, I can’t help but grin at how this couple, so determined to be there for each other, and ready to plot. 

-

A Political Match by tuesday - It was the day of Shang Qinghua’s wedding, and he was going to be sick.

So... BL author Shang Qinghua accidently seduced his fav character, Mobei-jun, the fic. my only regret is that there isn’t more.

-

unplanned by fencesit - Shang Qinghua doesn't mean to do it. Okay, okay, from the outside he totally gets how it looks purposeful. Definitely! It definitely looks like he planned it really carefully! Like, you can't just slip and whoops break someone out of Huan Hua Palace's Water Prison, you know?

:D Alternate first meeting and a tasty prison break? go get yo man my disaster fav.

-

Sea foam and grenades by Sunnystar - Long before the Peaks were known for their esteemed cultivation, An Ding had another title. [A world where Shang Qinghua goes off plot for his children disciples.]

Ow, oww, owwww owwwwwww ouch! be prepared to have your heart pickled before your eyes, before it is roasted over an open fire and then promptly eaten before you. and with the left over crumbs of it left over, still find no, you have not had enough, you need to make sure your tear ducts are still existing after all... Just, make sure you mind the tags with this story, because it gets dark, bits of fluff seen here and there to at least trick you into thinking there is still a light hanging around. it is a lot to take in, but oh man are the emotions delicious even as I have to take breaks from this story because of all the feeling I have to face.

---

So, there ya have it; might have more added in the future, but for now, I at least wanted these up. Part Duo Here~

And feel free to add more, I am always up for more of our boi!

[magnetictapedatastorage]

Americans have been saying for a year they want to get back to normal. Tragically, they're getting their wish.

With the gradual return to public places comes a specter the country was all too willing to set aside as it grappled with a pandemic capable of killing thousands of Americans a day. Mass shootings are starting to make headlines again, and though their return is most unwelcome, they've proved to be an inextricable part of life in the United States.

The latest mass killing left 10 dead at a grocery store. For the past 12 months, Americans have been vigilant in grocery stores to avoid contagion. Monday's slayings in Boulder, Colorado, reminded them that even with pandemic hope on the horizon, they should remain vigilant for a different reason.

This is a hard thing to read, but important. Full text under the cut.

CNN | 3/24/2021 | Listen Analysis: Mass shootings signal a dubious 'back to normal' in America Analysis By Eliott C. McLaughlin, CNN

Updated: Wed, 24 Mar 2021 00:21:23 GMT

Source: CNN

Americans have been saying for a year they want to get back to normal. Tragically, they're getting their wish.

With the gradual return to public places comes a specter the country was all too willing to set aside as it grappled with a pandemic capable of killing thousands of Americans a day. Mass shootings are starting to make headlines again, and though their return is most unwelcome, they've proved to be an inextricable part of life in the United States.

The latest mass killing left 10 dead at a grocery store. For the past 12 months, Americans have been vigilant in grocery stores to avoid contagion. Monday's slayings in Boulder, Colorado, reminded them that even with pandemic hope on the horizon, they should remain vigilant for a different reason.

Americans shouldn't have to fret about dying in a supermarket, or at a spa, or anywhere for that matter. Catching a bullet should be far from their minds, but with a return to American normalcy comes the reality that anyone could die for nothing, just about everywhere.

Seven mass shootings in seven days

Just as the country is conquering a new pandemic, an old, familiar epidemic makes its return. The last week has been a harbinger of what "back to normal" means for the US.

The most recent string of senseless gun violence began March 16 when a shooter killed eight people at three Atlanta spas. The next day, a drive-by in Stockton, California, injured five people who'd gathered for a vigil.

Four people were hospitalized Thursday after a shooting in Gresham, Oregon. On Saturday, a pair of shootings at clubs in Dallas and Houston left a young woman dead and 12 people injured. Shortly thereafter, a shooter opened fire at what Philadelphia police termed an illegal party, killing one man and injuring five more.

Now, Boulder makes seven in seven days. When the gunfire at King Soopers stopped, 10 lay dead, including hero officer Eric Talley, the first policeman on the scene. His wife and seven children will pay an astronomical debt for their dad's bravery.

"Flags that have barely been raised back to full mast after the tragic shooting in Atlanta that claimed eight lives and now the tragedy here, close to home, at a grocery store that could be any of our neighborhood grocery stores," Colorado Gov. Jared Polis said Tuesday.

The King Soopers location where the melee unfolded is one of about 1,000 providers in Colorado working to repel the killer Covid-19.

Steven McHugh's son-in-law had queued for a dose of vaccine, like more than a million other Coloradoans. He was third in line, and his daughters chatted with their grandmother on the phone as he waited, McHugh said.

When the gunfire erupted, a bullet found its way to the woman at the front of the line. Her fate is unclear, as is much about Monday's shooting. Authorities haven't divulged a motive, but history tells us it won't make sense.

McHugh's son-in-law fled with the girls -- one in seventh grade, the other in eighth -- to an upstairs staffing area above the pharmacy and hid in a closet. Dozens more shots rang out, McHugh said, citing his son-in-law.

It was "extraordinarily terrifying," the grandfather told CNN, "and of course the little one's saying, 'The coats weren't long enough to hide our feet,' as they were standing behind the coats in the closet."

'A normal we can no longer afford'

The US government doesn't have a centralized database to track mass shootings, but anecdotal accounts indicate they were down during the pandemic as Americans were encouraged to stay home and many of their favorite gathering places were shut down.

Former President Barack Obama called for action Tuesday, expressing disbelief that only Covid-19 could quell the gun violence the country has long endured.

"A once-in-a-century pandemic cannot be the only thing that slows mass shootings in this country," he said. "We shouldn't have to choose between one type of tragedy and another. It's time for leaders everywhere to listen to the American people when they say enough is enough -- because this is a normal we can no longer afford."

For the mass shootings that did unfold amid the pandemic, their locations were frighteningly familiar: a Buffalo, Minnesota, health clinic; a bowling alley in Rockford, Illinois; a Wauwatosa, Wisconsin, mall; parties in Rochester, New York, and Washington, DC; and a brewery in Milwaukee where, authorities would learn later, the gunman had been employed.

Gun violence is not a uniquely American phenomenon, but part of the rich American tapestry are threads of evil and violence: people (almost always men) who use weapons (often firearms) to snuff out innocents. Sometimes they're mentally ill, but more often they're just angry or vicious.

Their reasoning -- when it's attainable -- fails to provide closure. Outrage invariably erupts after each massacre. One side demands stronger gun laws. They're labeled un-American. Their opponents tout the Second Amendment. They're labeled callous. A stalemate ensues until the next killing, then repeat.

Within an hour of the Boulder killings, the National Rifle Association tweeted the Second Amendment. It later retweeted it. Nothing more.

It should surprise no one that a special interest group champions the Second Amendment. The amendment is a promise to every American, but 15 years prior to its ratification, the Declaration of Independence brought other promises of rights deemed "unalienable."

The full guarantees of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" will never be achieved by Officer Talley, Tralona Bartkowiak, Suzanne Fountain, Teri Leiker, Kevin Mahoney, Lynn Murray, Rikki Olds, Neven Stanisic, Denny Strong, Jody Waters -- or any of the thousands of victims who fell before Monday in Boulder.

'Part of the American experience'

In all likelihood, another person died by a gun while you were reading this. Despite the media's breathless focus on mass shootings, gun violence takes myriad and frequent forms.

According to numbers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the country saw 14,414 homicides in 2019 -- about one every 36 minutes -- while another 23,941 souls fatally turned guns on themselves -- roughly once every 22 minutes.

In his statement, Obama called out other scapegoats: disaffection, misogyny, hate. The United States has monopolies on none of these, though it has special brands that can be pernicious.

Sandy Phillips, who co-founded the organization Survivors Empowered to console and guide survivors of gun violence, pointed to the victims who suffer in silence, because the killings of their loved ones are seemingly not important enough for the newspapers or the nightly news.

Doubt her? Google the details about last week's shooting in Stockton, California, one of the most racially diverse cities in the nation.

"We have mass shootings in slow motion every day in this country, in other neighborhoods that never get the press, that never get the opportunity to speak out about what's happening in their communities -- and we need to change that," Phillips, who lost her 24-year-old daughter Jessica Ghawi in 2012 to gun violence in Aurora, Colorado, told CNN.

Those neighborhoods often belong to minorities, who have had a particularly rough time of the pandemic as well. It's another crushing American axiom that society's ills tend to home in on people of color, and those victims must yell so much louder to be heard.

There will be much yelling in coming days, perhaps weeks. Obama is right when he said Americans possess the ability to "make it harder for those with hate in their hearts to buy weapons of war. We can overcome opposition by cowardly politicians and the pressure of a gun lobby that opposes any limit on the ability of anyone to assemble an arsenal."

The margins are thin, though, and the complexity of that American tapestry will be on display. A Gallup poll from late last year showed 42% of Americans had guns in their homes, a number that's risen since 2019. Another Gallup query indicated 57% of Americans want stricter gun laws, a percentage that's on the decline.

Former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe said "absolutely nothing" will stop the country's return to pre-pandemic mass violence if lawmakers refuse to curb access to the weaponry.

"This has become part of the American experience, and let's not forget: It's completely unique to us," he told CNN. "There's not another similar country on Earth that experiences the same number, the frequency of mass shootings as we do, and it is directly attributable to the profusion and the availability of guns, particularly high-powered assault-style weapons and how easily pretty much anyone can acquire them here in this country."

[skullsandwineglasses]

The Rebel Princess - Final Review (SPOILERS)

I tend to be quite critical right after I watch the finale of a drama since emotions are high, so my review might be a little harsh. My feelings might simmer over the next few days while I digest things, but for now, I’ll break down my impressions into 3 parts: The “Good”, The “Didn’t Make Sense”, and The “Could Have Been Better”. 

The “Good” 

The final scene. That’s the first immediate good thing that comes to mind. That’s probably the only good thing tbh. To be clear, these last 5 episodes weren’t bad. Everyone got their comeuppance, our leads live happily ever after, and Wang Su finally sees the light and goes against Daddy Wang by saving baby Jing’er. But, there were quite a number of things that frustrated me while watching. 

I will note one other good thing, which is that we got to see our favourite OTP act out a show to misdirect the rebels in hiding and lure them out. We finally get to see our leads collaborating and putting their smarts together! But, this meant that they had to separate again for the millionth time in this drama. And even though it was just an act, the fake confrontation scene between them still stung. As a trashy romantic, I wish we got to see more scenes of them together, especially towards the end of the drama. 

The “Didn’t Make Sense”

But because we finally get to see them work together, I wished we got to see more scenes with them plotting together. This is the first time that they’re working together to uncover a political plot, and yet it’s only relegated to one short conversation scene between them after Awu returns from meeting with her brother who refuses to tell her who’s behind the scenes pulling the ropes. 

ALSO, the drama never really addressed how Xiao Qi kind of handwaved Zitan’s involvement in the Neem Yu Shan plot. How did Xiao Qi go from “I need to have vengeance for my betrayed fallen soldiers” to “I need to help uncover the plot against the crown”. It’s kind of implied that Awu might have already told Xiao Qi about the truth before Song Huaien does, but the drama never makes that clear because we never see that scene if there was one. If Xiao Qi learns about the truth from Song Huaien first, does he then talk about to Awu? Again, we don’t know because it’s never shown to us. Instead, right after we see him learn about it from Huaien, it then immediately cuts to the confrontation scene with Awu. BUT, since this confrontation scene was revealed to be planned by them, it means that they’ve already discussed the Zitan problem in private beforehand, and Xiao Qi already knows that Awu knows, but we never see this conversation. It’s also revealed that they’ve long been suspicious of Huaien, but when did this suspicion start? Again, we don’t see this conversation. We just have to guess. 

This is just one example of how these last 5 episodes made it VERY obvious where scenes were deleted. A lot of scenes were cut abruptly where one scene would suddenly cut to the next, and you kind of had to infer what happened between those scenes. Things still made sense and you could still follow along, but you could tell that they cut out scenes that would have helped flesh things out and make the transitions smoother.

Villains: Nearly every villain in the drama (Jin’er, Zitan, and Song Huaien) turned back into their “good” old selves again during their downfall. And because of this, it made the finale of the drama pretty underwhelming. Jin’er expressed how she misses the old days to Awu and calls Awu one of the most important people in her life, Zitan sees the light and promises to yield the throne to his nephew and face punishment for his actions, and Song Huaien uses his last dying breath to ask Xiao Qi to take him back to Ning Shuo and how he doesn’t want to be in the capital anymore (when he literally has an arrow to the heart while sitting on the throne he just stole). These characters take an abrupt 180 degree turn when they’ve been blind with envy and hatred for most of the drama. Just moments ago they were shooting daggers out of their eyes, and then suddenly they regret everything they’ve done. Their downfall felt too easy, and their redemption felt even easier and unearned. And Awu forgives all of them (as expected). When she pitied Zitan, I was like, girl, he doesn’t deserve your pity. I get that she needs him to sober up in order to discourage the rebels, but still. He had his own brother killed and tried to have her husband killed. Instead she consoles him like a lost puppy. I know that Awu’s a saintly character, and I’ve talked about the virtues of her character before, but sometimes I wish she’d be a little less saintly. 

I think Daddy Wang’s final scene fit most well with his character. He’s defeated, but doesn’t entirely express regret for his actions. Which makes sense for his character. He’s never doubted his decisions all throughout the drama, so why would he start now. Even when Awu asks him if he ever loved her mother, he doesn’t answer her. Instead, he deflects the question back to her to ask if she loves Xiao Qi or Zitan, which is such a laughable question. How is Zitan even still considered a potential love interest for Awu at this point? In response, Awu tells him “此愛非彼愛”. Which I’m still trying to interpret?? To directly translate it, it would translate to “this love is not (comparable to?) love”. I’m having trouble interpreting  非 彼. 非彼 means “not comparable to”. Is Awu saying that this love isn’t comparable to another love? Is she saying that this love isn’t considered love? Love for whom? Is she taking about her love for Xiao Qi and how it’s not considered “love”. Does she mean what she feels for him is more than love, or different from love? Or, does she mean her past love for Zitan isn’t love? Why is her response so vague? Her dad asks her if she loves Xiao Qi or Zitan, and she instead gives him such a dense, poetic response. Maybe my mandarin isn’t up to par to translate these historical dialogues, so I’ll be curious to see how the subs translate this line. Anyway, in the end, Awu asks her father if he would agree to being buried next to her mother, and after ignoring the question for a bit, he finally says that he wants to be buried next to her.

The treatment of women: The Elder Princess and Yu Xiu both sacrificed themselves in hopes of getting their loved ones to stop rebelling. And then Awu pulls the same move with her father in order to remind him what her mother had done in hopes of stopping him. And this was after we see Hu Yao and Nanny Xu needlessly die in the previous episodes. So all these female deaths and sacrifices made it feel like the female characters in the drama are disposable and can be easily killed off by the writers. It just didn’t really sit well with me that on 3 instances in this drama, a female character tries to use herself as leverage against a male character who’s about to commit treason. I’m also still not over Hu Yao’s death at the hands of Song Huaien, and we never get to see a proper burial for her because she’s a minor character, so the drama couldn’t be bothered to show it. The Dowager Empress also had a very anticlimactic end. She was such a major player pre-episode 50, and then suddenly she was bedridden and only heard about palace news from her maid and wasn’t able to exert much influence over the court. It was a little disappointing that we don’t get to see her wield any of her old power again after episode 50.

The “Could Have Been Better”

This might be unpopular opinion but, I think Awu and Xiao Qi kind of lost their spark in the last couple of episodes, or at least, it’s more subtle now. Probably because the plot was focused on bigger things, which I understand. These are the final episodes after all. They’re also a long-married couple now, they don’t need to constantly reaffirm their love to us. And the final scene was sweet, so I shouldn’t be complaining, but I wish we got more scenes of them alone together. I said this in a reply on another post, but their sexual tension peaked during the early episodes of the drama. It’s too bad we don’t see that level of chemistry again.

Something that I found funny was how we see Awu stand next to Zitan by the throne twice to protect him. The setup was almost exactly the same between the two scenes where Awu stands to his right. It was like the writers couldn’t figure out a new configuration for how to block the scene. The first time was during the “pretend confrontation” with Xiao Qi, and the second time was against Huaien. I just felt the the repeat setup of this scene was kind of boring and uncreative to watch. It was like the writers couldn’t come up with another way to stage a potential rebellion, so we’ll just have Zitan be cornered around on the throne twice. 

Also, Huaien wanting to suddenly take the throne and also Awu as his Empress? First of all, I don’t understand why people, who don’t have the approval of the masses, always want to become Emperor. Do they not realize that by forcibly seizing power, you’re going to lose it just as quickly because no one likes you and they’ll try to take you down? I have the same criticism for Daddy Wang and Zitan. But does Huaien think that he has enough military power to become Emperor? And unlike Daddy Wang, Huaien doesn’t have any significant political impact over the lords. Also, does he think that Xiao Qi would just never come back? Second, him asking Awu to become his wife? We don’t really see him feeling tortured over his affection for Awu again since his wedding with Yu Xiu, and now suddenly, years later, it’s revealed that he still yearns for her? And he declares his love right after stabbing her dad? I mean, writers, please. I know you want to create drama, but it has to make sense.

To be honest, I’ve always found Huaien’s character arc a little hard to believe. He’s such a noble character for the first third of the drama, and then it’s revealed that he’s always secretly harboured a greedy side. A side that craves status and recognition. He then downward spirals into this monster who kills nannies and female comrades and wants to be emperor. We see small hints of his desire for the throne, like when he eyes Daddy Wang’s tailor-made royal robes. But this desire is not fleshed out enough. Huaien’s arc could have worked, but because the drama didn’t focus enough on his internal struggle at the beginning since he isn’t the main character, the change felt abrupt. I don’t know how the book handled it, so I can’t speak to that. 

Things just escalate so quickly in this drama. I can now see AvenueX’s criticisms about the political plot of this drama and how it looks like it could have be written by a 10 year old. The writers seem to want to make things as surprising as possible, while also using a lot of old tropes that it becomes predictable. It’s very unrealistic. And the villains’ motivations and ambitions seem limitless. It felt like anyone could lay claim to the throne. 

The political scheming in this drama has never impressed me, so I suppose that I shouldn’t be surprised that these last few episodes were just as lukewarm. The problem with the political plot of this drama is that there were no smart characters except Daddy Wang. It’s just a bunch of drama queens(TM) who want power, but do a poor job of thinking things through. 

The highlight of the drama was the romance, which was a huge surprise since I didn’t start watching this drama for the romance. And yet, despite the romance being the highlight, the OTP is constantly being separated, and we barely got to see them together in the last few episodes. And the scenes that they did have together in these last few episodes weren’t memorable. If anything, their chemistry kind of fell apart during these episodes because we barely see them communicate directly with each other. 

Final Thoughts

Overall, I’d still recommend this drama just for the leads alone. You don’t see that kind of chemistry in idol dramas, and I don’t know when we’ll be able to see this level of acting between two well-matched actors in dramas again. Watching them is almost like a once-in-a-life-timeline thing. However, I think the average viewer might become frustrated with Awu halfway through. The drama’s also very bingeable (in fact it should be binged, instead of dragged on for almost 2 months). I think I would have enjoyed more if I watched all the episodes at once, instead of waiting for episodes as they came out every week, which meant that while waiting, I started to pick apart little issues that I had with the drama. 

[daggery]

Jesper for the ask game??

first impression: iconic “spell forgive me in bullets on your chest” quote. when i read soc i always notice how he has the least main character-y introduction imo. in his first scene he’s mostly there to make it more lighthearted and show the bond btwn the dregs. he stands out more than the minor characters, but he wasn’t the pov character like inej and he didn’t stand out the way kaz obviously did so i hadn’t immediately recognized him as a main character. i don’t think this is a bad thing though and when i realized he was a main character i was really pleased because he seemed like a fun character

impression now: i just? think he’s good? i mean. he’s GOOD. something something he’s a criminal something something HE’S SO GOOD. like his conversation with inej near the end of CK directly followed by him going to talk with his dad to tell him the truth. he wants to be a good person, he wants to take care and protect his friends and family, he’s trying and he’s struggling and. i love him so so SO much. on the list of soc characters i really want to give a hug to he’s somewhere up there. also he wears lime green and lemon yellow together because he can and i adore him for that too. asks for an explosives guy on every job. ate a literal trough of waffles in apple syrup because he was dared to. not just girls! gonna get wylan’s ghost to teach his ghost to play the flute to annoy kaz. that’s why we call him wylan van sunshine. his iconic moments are limitless (just like my love for him) (the audience groans)

favorite moment: as always there are always so many but right now i’m going to go with all his moments with colm because i’ve been thinking about them recently, and his relationship with his parents in general. “i’m dying anyway, da. i’m just doing it slow.” jesper feels so much guilt but also anger because colm tried to protect him but wound up hurting him but above all jesper and colm care for and love each other so deeply and i!!!!! 😭 i love love. also going to mention when he talked about the oil market for a whole hour to stall the merchers because lmfao. for show jesper the first one i think of is when he shoots the card in inej’s mouth in order to join the performance troupe. when i watched that, i just Felt So Much at that moment. also the scene where he beats ivan

idea for a story: idk exactly but i do have some general things i think would be fun to see. i would love to read thoughts about an au where kaz and jesper are university friends. i would also love an au where kaz and jesper are farm boy friends. i have no idea how that would come about but i’d like it lol. misc kaz&wylan&jesper crimes but make it funny, because of that one part in rule of wolves where wylan said something about kaz only ever showing up at their house when he wanted them to do something illegal. also jesper using his powers more!! in rule of wolves, iirc, zoya mentions how the materialki work around wesper’s house was amateurish meaning jesper’s been experimenting and practicing, so idk that would be good to explore!!

unpopular opinion: i have only ever seen ppl gush over this scene so im standing here like 🧍‍♂️ is it just me. am i being dumb. but i have mixed feelings about the goat in the show when it comes to jesper. it was amusing and it was cute. but when the crows crossed the fold, jesper freaking out and yelling “so this is how i’m going to die?” while needing to hug the "emotional support goat” to calm down felt jarring and out of character. sentence 1 of chapter 11 in six of crows: “jesper always felt better when people were shooting at him.” he thrives when he’s in danger! it makes him focus! that’s like half the point of his later character development.

at first it felt like the entire bit with jesper needing an emotional support goat was there for comic relief and to intentionally turn it into a big fandom meme at the expense of jesper’s characterization. like the fact that ppl are saying things like "the conductor knew that jesper would panic in near-death situations so he specially brought along a goat lol" ??? but like, would jesper?? would he????? but thankfully the scene turned out ok bc he did his badass volcra shooting thing. the way im choosing to read that is that he’s just dramatic and wanted to scream about how he’s gonna die before he saved the day. i love the huge grin he has when they clear the fold and he goes to sit back down.

but fandom still latched onto the goat thing. which like, emotional support goat = good! if petting and hugging the goat makes jesper happy, good!! but it still reminds me of the Bad Feelings i had about jesper’s characterization in that fold scene so i’m still going keep insistently pointing to six of crows chapter 11 sentence 1

favorite relationship: INEJ JESPER BEST FRIENDS BEST FRIENDS BEST FRIENDS. they are so good and i am so happy that the show gave us so much new content for them pre-SOC, and whenever i see inesper fanart i get so happy. also height difference. hc tallest crow and smallest crow!! they’re just bffs i don’t know what else to tell you. and wesper of course <3333 lol i’m on a jesper&inej&kaz kick right now because of s&b, but i can’t wait for wylan to show up

favorite headcanon: wesper and kuwei become friends after crooked kingdom! maybe three or four years after CK, they bump into each other again and at first it’s an awkward Haha glad to see you’re not dead because last time we saw each other we all almost died and also wylan threatened to push kuwei into the canal because kuwei kept hitting on his boyfriend Or Whatever Situation, but slowly over time they all become closer. it’s a chill, slowly growing friendship type of thing where one day, years later, they’ve just naturally become true friends who can confide and trust in one another. idk the details, i just think they should be friends!!!! they’re invited to each others’ weddings. ALSO give him earrings. he’s a hot bitch who deserves earrings

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Omg Steph, I just read about the new lists and I'm so excited lol

Umm could you post those 3rd pov sherlock and John whump fics? And the heartwarming fics, I'm curious lol

Thanks!!!

Hi Nonny!

Ahhh, glad you asked for one or the other!! I'm only going to post one of the lists, since they're both pretty long AND because I like having them separate these days! Since his name is first, let's do Sherlock's! Please don't hesitate to send another ask for John's POV ones :)

Feel free to add your own fics, friends!

SHERLOCK 3rd PERSON POV Pt. 2: HURT/COMFORT &/or WHUMP

See also:

POV Sherlock 1st & 2nd Person

POV Sherlock 3rd Person Pt. 1: Fluff

Fitting by thegingerbatch (G, 380 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Hard Pining Sherlock) – John and his best man get fitted for their tuxedos.

Possessive by Fang323 (T, 850 w., 1 Ch. || John Whump, Hospitalization, Possessive / Protective Sherlock, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – His John did not belong. Not here. Not in this blasted hospital. It simply was not logical.

His by I'm Nova (T, 1,042 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Hurt/Comfort, Manipulation, Possessive Sherlock) – Sherlock doesn't share what he's fond of.

Sherlock's Mind Palace by Valkyrie Of The Dead (K+, 1,091 w.,  1 Ch. ||  Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Deaths, Self Reflection) – Sherlock needs to change his mind-palace once again. He had hoped he wouldn't, he had thought he wouldn't, because they were invincible, weren't they?

Idiot by Anesthesiologist (T, 1,229 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Alternate TGG / Explosion, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Inner Monologue, John Saves Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – What the heck happened? He remembered the pool and Moriarty, but then what? Had he been dying?

BBCSH 'Poor Mary' by tigersilver (M, 1,839 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fic, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Missing Scene, Sherlock POV) – As the tin says above, this is a missing scene, set directly after Sherlock awakens in hospital after having been shot by his best mate's wife. Minor angst, some pining, nothing nasty; please don't be alarmed unduly.

Dying Changes Everything by whitchry9 (K+, 1,919 w., 1 Ch || Sherlock POV, Suicidal Ideation, Near-Death, Hospital, Sherlock Whump, Gunshot, Unhappy/Ambiguous Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship) – Sherlock is having an existential crisis and wants to have a near death experience like John did to gain some perspective. “Shoot me John!” he insisted, gesturing to himself. John just looked at him. “Are you completely mad?” 

Take My Hand, Knot Your Fingers Through Mine by patster223 (K+, 2,003 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Whump, Pining Sherlock) - "I know this is an inconvenience for you, but I would really rather you were awake right now, John." John is unconscious, and Sherlock decides to talk to him anyway. Sherlock/John pre-slash.

L'Esprit D'Escalier by TheSoulOfAStrawberry (K, 2,011 w., 1 Ch. || Ace Sherlock, Romance, Hurt / Comfort, Pining) – A lack of understanding leads to a misunderstanding, which in turn leads to two confused men dealing with something they should have sorted out earlier, rather than on John's wedding day.

It's a Dummy by Johnnlocked (Krullenbol2602) (T, 2,574 w., 3 Ch. || HLV-Remix, Major Character Injury, H/C, Love Confessions, Mary is Not Nice, 3G Moment) – What if Mary had taken the shot?

Better Late Than Never by sussexbound (NR (T), 3,021 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4 / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock POV, Love Confessions, Drunk Sherlock / Sober John, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss, Jealous Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil) – He suddenly wants John Watson out of his bedroom, out of his flat, out of his life, because he has been lying to himself these last few months, he realises. He doesn’t want John here, not with the way things are. He doesn’t want 221b Baker Street to be nothing more than rest stop John returns to on his journeys between women. He doesn’t want to play co-parent if Rosie is going to be snatched away from him and placed in the arms of whatever nameless woman du jour John lands on next. He doesn’t want to keep being so careful, so generous, so, so…

Reversed by whitchry9 (K+, 3,072 w., 6 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Medical Anomolies, John Gets Shot) – The man pointed his gun at John's chest, right at his heart, and shot.' Wherein John is shot, and Sherlock is the one panicking.

It's Just Another Birthday by Vintage Tea Party (K, 3,207 w., 2 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Sherlock’s Birthday, Sherlock 3rd Person POV) – When John makes a birthday cake for Sherlock he thinks its an innocent enough gesture. But nothing is ever normal with Sherlock and this isn't just another birthday. 

Wish I Was In Heaven Sitting Down by standbygo (M, 3,282 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4, Five Plus One, Missing Scenes, Parenthood, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, Declarations of Love, Fluff, Food, John Whump) – Five times when Sherlock and John ate together, and one time they didn't. A history of the boys, in food.

Bolt Holes by PostcardsfromTheoryland (T, 4,177 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Angst, Drug Mentions, Pining Sherlock) – John asked, one evening, if Sherlock liked her. To which he grudgingly had to say yes, and John said he was glad. Because John was going to propose to her.

In Good Hands by Haelia (K+, 4,384 w., 1 Ch. || Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, John Whump) – John and Sherlock are stranded deep in the wilderness with no phones and no foreseeable escape. With John wounded, Sherlock fears they will die here: in the cold, in the damp, in the woods. 

What John Doesn't Know (Won't Hurt Him) by blueink3 (NR [T], 4,392 w., 1 Ch, || S3 Fix It, Pining Sherlock, Snippets of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Fluff and Angst, Five and One, Hopeful Ending, POV Sherlock) – Five people who see Sherlock's scars before John Watson. But Sherlock's secrets were never something he could keep from his blogger for long.

London's Ghost by JustlikeWater (K+, 5,642 w., 1 Ch. || Tragedy, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Post-TRF AU, Sherlock POV) – "Today, it's been weeks since Sherlock died. Other times, years. He doesn't know for sure, though. Time passes differently for the dead" 

I'll Be Fine by whitchry9 (T, 6,473 w., 21 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, John Whump, Friendship, MCD, Heavy Angst) – John says he'll be fine, and Sherlock believes him. Until he can't any more. And it's awfully hard to forgive John for lying about something big like that, even if he didn't mean to. Not using warnings because spoilers, but there are some. 

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

The Dying Doctor by Transcendental Starlight (T, 11,258 w., 3 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Sick John / John Whump, ACD Rewrite) – Loosely based off ACD's "The Dying Detective." Sherlock relives a case that should have killed him, but instead resulted in John being hospitalized for a deadly disease. Sherlock endeavors to catch the murderer, while attempting to envision a future without John Watson. No Slash.

Always the sun by Rose de Sharon (K+, 12,377 w., 3 Ch. || Song Fic, Alternate Post-TGG, Friendship/Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection / Reflection, Injury Recovery, Obsessive / Protective Sherlock, Nightmares, John’s Past, Bed Sharing / Cuddles) – Sherlock ponders about how much his life has changed since John has become his flatmate.

I Need You To See Me by Mssmithlove (E, 12,625 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Amnesia, Soldier!John) – After going back to war, John is yet again invalided home, this time with a broken ankle and a chunk of his memory missing, unable to recall the last five years he's spent being Sherlock Holmes' partner and husband. Part 9 of Happiness Awaits

Kintsugi by distantstarlight (E, 14,772 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Regret / Remorse, Loneliness, Separation, Drug Use, Healing, Protective John, Sad Sherlock, Dev. Rel., Complicated Relationships, Love, Angst With Happy Ending, Sherlock is Called Freak, John’s Penance, Voyeurism, Doctor/Caretaker John, Guilty John, Detox, Fingering, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Slight Non-Con Turns Enthusiastic Consent, Virgin Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes becomes estranged from the man he had once considered his best friend after John lets him down horribly in public. It seems that the world's only consulting detective will be on his own once again...or will he?

The Haze by Ulura (T, 15,381 w., 12 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Whump, Turmoil, Mystery, Worried Sherlock, Mycroft Helps Sherlock, Flashbacks, Blood, Kidnapped John) – Sherlock wakes up, injured and confused on the floor of 221b, the last two days a complete blank. He must struggle not only to recover but to figure out what happened to him and most importantly, find his missing friend John Watson.

In A Changing Age by allonsys_girl (E, 15,590 w., 1 Ch. || Victorian AU || Virgin / Demi Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Bottomlock) – Sherlock wakes up in the 19th century, with no idea how he got there.

Hope for Heroes by Richefic (K+, 16,887 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TGG Fic, Introspection / Flashbacks, Friendship/Epic Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Worried/Anxious Sherlock, Sherlock Admires John, BAMF John, John Deduces, Fancy Party, John’s Self Esteem, Domestics) – In the final moments of "The Great Game" Holmes hopes he will have the chance to tell his flatmate that he was wrong. Heroes do exist after all and the one in front of him is called Dr John Watson.

A Quiet Life by DiscordantWords (M, 25,176 w., 6 Ch. || Post S4, Retirement, POV Sherlock, Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Minor Character Death, Questionable Parenting Choices, Non-Linear Narrative, 20 Year Old Rosie, Meddling Mycroft, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst, Sherlock Whump) – There had been three days of silence and a funeral. Sherlock had the terrible feeling that whatever happened next would depend, entirely, on him.

The Wisteria Tree by SilentAuror (E, 29,773 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Emotional Love Making, Amnesia/Memory Loss, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Sherlock POV, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Est. Rel., Retirement) – Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John's...

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

The Kissing Disease by cottonballz_of_death (E, 30,856 w., 15 Ch. || Sick Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Case Fic, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Jealous Sherlock, Body Image Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional H/C, POV Sherlock, Oral / Anal, Thong, Frottage) – John brings home a boyfriend, shocking Sherlock, who long ago gave up hope that his straight flatmate would ever take a romantic interest in him. In a bid to reconnect with John, he tries to infect himself with a "harmless" virus. Neither of them is prepared for the emotional fallout that results.

The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Magical Realism || John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It's a lot less cracky than you're probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords (M, 39,968 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It || Grief / Mourning, Victor Trevor, Friendship, Sherlock is Not Okay, Nightmares/Flashbacks/Panic Attacks, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John Comes Home) – Baker Street is very much the same. Only different. And Sherlock is just trying not to drown.

Triage by scullyseviltwin (E, 51,612 w., 14 Ch. || Character Injury, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Sherlock POV, Toplock) – Sherlock’s mind goes exceedingly, devastatingly quiet and gray-blank. When he speaks it’s through a thick haze, it’s through molasses, he’s so disconnected from the words that it may as well be the unconscious shooter speaking.

You Have Drawn Red From My Hands by J_Baillier (T, 67,085 w., 17 Ch. || Three Garridebs, Heavy John Whump, Hurt / Comfort, Pining, Heavy Angst, Case Fic/Adventure, Slow Burn, Sick Fic, Injury, Guilt & Depression, Just Talk Already Please, Medical Realism, PTSD) –  John getting injured leads Sherlock on a path of guilt and revelations.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Breakable by MissDavis (E, 117,627 w., 34 Ch. || Established Relationship, Major Character Injury, Fluff/Angst, Depression, Paralysis/Disabilities, Hurt/Comfort, POV Sherlock, Mental Health Issues, Drug Use, Happy-ish Ending) – After John is seriously injured, Sherlock struggles to figure out how to help him, keep himself sane, and maybe, just maybe, get their life back to the way it's supposed to be. Part 1 of Breakable Not Broken

[oneweekoneband]

Five Taylor Swift Photos From Magazine Spreads Which Make Me Feel Unmoored In Space And Time

This 2014 Rolling Stone piece is called Reinvention of Taylor Swift and heralds that she’s “left country behind”. I’ve always felt Taylor’s relationship to country music is more complicated than the simple case of a country darling seeing a chance at crossover superstardom and abandoning her down-home roots for bubblegum, namely because Taylor doesn’t actually have any down-home roots. Total domination was always the plan, and everything I know about this woman says it was always going to work, too. If anything, the country years represented a transactional relationship between an ambitious young woman and the genre best positioned to uplift and provide an instant audience for a white, blonde singer who wants to write love songs. The whole this is less A Star is Born, more A Star is Intentionally And Calculatedly Built. But 1989—the release of which feels so long ago now, so much more than six years, farther away in my mind even than the older albums for being less firmly planted in my own psychic landscape and heart, that to try and recall the experience of having been 22 and reading this article is close to impossible—mark a coronation of sorts for a whole new girl, shorn, shined, and repackaged for mass distribution, as this stripped down and honestly kind of hot cover shoot shows. During the interview, Taylor offers the interviewer a choice of six different flavors of sparkling water, which is a level of decadence that I cannot imagine, then starts talking about HBO’s Girls. In 2014 it was still basically talk about Girls or be instantly murdered by roving death squad. That was just what life was then. Taylor says she is a Shoshanna but my brain, brave ally, has erased every piece of knowledge I ever accumulated about that show so I don’t know if she was right. What I like about this particular photo, wherein “I like” means, “makes me a little feral” is how it calls to mind, like, the kind of black & white snapshot of lads being lads on a beach somewhere during a long ago war which, were it to find its way onto Twitter today, would be immediately quote RT’d like fifty thousand times like, “seems gay imo.”

The critical takeaway from this Vogue article is that until 2016 Taylor Swift hadn’t been to her Pennsylvania hometown in a decade. Yes, the family relocated to Nashville when she was a teenager to begin the construction of the Taylor Swift Industrial Complex but there’s still something odd and compelling to me about the fact that she never once went back to visit the supposed best friend Britany whose wedding is the impetus for the visit chronicled here. Maybe it means nothing! She did have kind of a busy decade, and things happen. Time passes faster than you’re ever expecting it to and the ten years between sixteen and twenty six are particularly slippery ones. Maybe! Or maybe Taylor Swift left that pre-fame life coolly in the dust, useless to her now, and doesn’t think of it at all except to clinically mine for content. Maybe Britany only had Taylor in her wedding because if you can get Taylor Swift to come, with a Vogue writer in tow, be your maid of honor, it would be difficult to resist the temptation not to do it, like, for the bit, and for probably a really expensive gift. Maybe the truth is more like a little bit of both. Regardless, there’s this proto-”seven” passage.

During a car ride earlier in the day, she excitedly pointed out landmarks: the creek where she and Britany used to play as kids; a weathered tree house in the front yard of the former Maack family home; the piney woods she and her friends used to think were haunted

Could be that Britany was the inspiration for the friend with the dad whose always mad in that dreamy piano track, but if pressed I’d put my money on Taylor just being enamored of the romantic americana of dirty children clamoring over creek beds full of ghosts, and unfortunately I can’t begrudge her that because same.

Every image from when Taylor did that Soft Focus Harley Quinn thing last year while in the throes of her full court press media blitz about how she is not only not a nazi but also Loves Gays, is to me an unbearable agony, a ruthless torment, a knife in my back, a stitch in my side, a terror I can’t unsee, a silent scream I can’t get out, but I find this one from Entertainment Weekly most upsetting of all. I am not saying that it is illegal to sit in the dirt wearing a pink and blue matching argyle sweater and short shorts combo with dumb dip-dyed hair and then not come out as bi, even, but I am saying abolish prisons for everyone except Taylor Swift, who should be in one.

This goofy goth photo shoot from 2017 is one thing, but the really important historical detail to note here is that UK Vogue, clearly absolute limp-wristed freaks, agreed to run these photos accompanied not by an interview with their covers star, but with a fucking poem she wrote. While I do think a poem in place of a proper profile is actually less morally objectionable than the famous person-”interviewed”-by-other famous person trend that’s eaten up so much of celebrity journalism, it’s still not really something a reasonable person can condone. If you have never read the poem... I actually think it’s not that bad! But, honestly, when I was sixteen I volunteered myself to edit my high school’s litmag (in order to be given a little money to have a litmag) and to my great surprise, having really assumed that I was basically just going to have, like, my own writing and some weird slightly, porny drawings from the anime club, shortly found myself inundated with piles of the most truly awful poetry ever produced, and was left to judge it all myself, and I believe the experience scarred my mind so badly that I still have great difficulty determining a good poem from a bad one with any clarity. “Hold on to childlike whims and moonlight / swims and your blazing self-respect” definitely would have made it into The Knightwriter, is all I’m saying.

When I am on my death bed, reeking and gasping, alive only technically, my family will gather close to provide comfort and receive my last words, hoping that they can offer me a sense of peace before the darkness falls. “Bring me my darling,” I’ll rasp, then choke on the air. And when nervous human children of my lineage are pressed to the bedside I’ll shake my head painfully, no, no, no, until finally they bring to me the one thing I truly love: this picture of Taylor Swift wearing a Blue Oyster Cult t-shirt in a 2015 Lucky Magazine photo shoot, for some reason.