#THE NPC DOCTOR IS REAL

[helladventurers]

God I always forget how brutal the early game of EO Nexus is on expert/heroic💀💀💀 it's fucking wild that not only they have a gigantic floor you have to explore without Ariadne threads, but you also have beat a full on stratum boss on level 5 with barely any good skills or gear

[unintentionalseductress]

Key:

🌟 Xavier ❄️ Zayne 🖌️ Rafayel 🐦‍⬛ Sylus 🍎Caleb 🦄 Multicharacter

Headcanons:

Best Friend! Zayne ❄️

Bodyguard HC 🦄

Caleb and Praise 🍎

Claw Machine Conundrum 🍎

Dancers of the Air 🦄

Dating an Older Woman

Flowers For You 🦄

Hades & Persephone 🐦‍⬛

Hot Hunter 🦄

How They Position Their Fingers 🦄

Noise Levels 🦄

Number of Kids 🦄

Pain Tolerance 🦄

Plus Size Reader 🦄

Poly 🦄

Reactions to reader saying she hasn't shaved down there🦄

Riding Caleb's Face 🍎

Someone You Loved 🦄

Spicy Secrets 🦄

Sylus is a switch 🐦‍⬛

Telling them to ditch the condom  🦄

Their nicknames for you  🦄

Unconventional Romp Spots 🦄

Underweight Reader 🦄

Voyeur!Sylus 🐦‍⬛

Oneshots:

A Tight Spot 🐦‍⬛ An unexpected kink.

Bunny Breeding 🌟 Come here little bunny it's time to be bred.

Caleb As A Virgin 🍎 What a sweet boi.

Check Please! 🐦‍⬛ While trying to avoid the disappointment of the current dating pool you almost end up offending your blind date.

Colonel Caleb... 🍎 Remember whose mercy you're at.

Dairy Queen ❄️🍎 You love being their cow.

Fresh Cream 🐦‍⬛ Another unexpected kink.

Halloween Makeup 🌟 Putting makeup while on his lap leads to other things.

Hold Me Tenderly 🍎 You are woken from a nightmare and forced to face some uncomfortable truths.

How To Court A Dragon 🐦‍⬛ You unintentionally became his mate. Of course, you have some questions.

It's The Thought That Counts 🌟 A kinky Christmas present leads to more hot sexiness.

Just The Tip ❄️ Why do you make it so hard for him to praise you?

Let Me Take Care Of It 🍎 Gege will always help you.

My Beloved Boys ❄️🍎 Nostalgia hits hard as you remember a beautiful summer of the past.

Of Swords And Shovels 🐦‍⬛ Luke and Kieran inadvertently overhear you and Sylus having a heart-to-heart.

Paintbrush Lesson 🖌️ Rafayel teaches art in an interesting way.

Playing House 🍎 Won't you be with me forever?

Poison Flower ❄️ Dawnbreaker knows you're not really his.

Prescription for Pleasure ❄️ The doctor will see you now.

Promised Sands 🖌️ Faced with an unwanted arranged marriage, you pray for freedom.

Razor's Caress ❄️ Hair removal can be tough, good thing he's there.

Spring Break 🍎 The real reason you ask him to come home.

Study Session 🍎 Were you really going to make him wait while you read?

The Spaces In Between ❄️ Having two of him is such a blessing.

Touch Me, Touch You 🍎 What's the point in having fun if you're not as well?

Uncoded ❄️ Life as a background NPC kinda sucks.

Vanilla Twilight 🍎 Who else would you go to prom with?

When The Snow Melts ❄️ Back in his arms, a lifetime later.

Landscape Screenshots:

Absolute Zeal❄️

Night of Secrecy 🐦‍⬛

Misty Silhouette 🌟

Homecoming Wings I 🍎

Exclusive Aftertaste 🍎

Rain's Embrace 🍎

Intertidal Zone 🖌️

Where Hearts Live🐦‍⬛

Floating Floraletter 🍎

Fragrant Possession ❄️

Moodboards:

Sylus Rafayel Zayne Xavier Caleb

Random:

Eternal Attachment Birthday ❄️ Gojo and Sylus Absolute Zeal Rant ❄️ Homecoming Wings Rant 🍎 Gege Rant 🍎

Upcoming/Requests:

Headcanons

Jealous/angry/rough sex (combining 2 inbox requests, jealous Sylus and rough sex, multicharacter

Oneshots

[pseudoquiddity]

Cool to me that in P3, all the patients you diagnose are interesting to talk to and are instantly sympathetic. Filat especially, despite the fact that it's implied saving his life gives him the time to rile up townies who then go and light fire to the Stillwater. But this makes sense because we dedicate so much time to sketching out a profile for him. At his core he's someone who views all people as equal and we can see how someone who will argue with a friend against racism will also argue with his Doctor about the freedom of all people under quarantine. We know that he's impoverished and we also see how it has both led him to this conclusion (poverty is inequality, the Kin are unequally poor) and led him to be the person who guards the Termitary and keeps the Kin inside (he needs food, not just for himself). But also he lets people slip out when he can. Which is kind but also a major contamination issue.

He just comes off instantly as a Real Guy, with a strong belief that exists in conflict with his environment, whereas I don't think literally any NPC in the Haruspex's route ever felt "real." They were all deeply representative of concepts and split into two groups - Kin and Townies, and those two groups were split into other smaller groups, but still they were more symbols than people.

I know people harp on Daniil for stereotyping and categorizing, and sure he does that to an extent, he's his own man with his own intense biases and feelings, but it's pretty key to his outlook on life and ideology that he sees people as individuals. It's clear to me that, as the natural contrary to Daniil, Artemy sees people as cultures, as "types of groups" influenced by environment and circumstance, all of them worthy of life but regardless, all of them a mass (partially inspired by the two conflicting cultures in Artemy). Now Daniil can get to know a man, really get to know him, then see him later at his own ambush and think: I understand what reasonable and emotional line of thinking got you to this place and I fucking hate you for exercising your freedom in this way.

[technically-human]

You got any ideas on how to bring Stone into IDW? Seems rather hard given the whole Starline Debacle...

Well, I don't know a lot about IDW, but I have some thoughts about how to put Stone into situations, so allow me to ramble for a bit

Stone exists for Eggman. That is not me being romantic, that's me establishing a fact about the character. Without Eggman, there's no reason for Stone to exist in any universe at all. There's an Eggman in IDW so that's already a great start.

Now, in universe, I like to hint at this fact, which is why I've often said that without the Doctor, Stone wouldn't be happy. His presence in Robotnik's life is the only thing that allows his character to exist, it's what gives him personhood instead of leaving him as an NPC. In universe, then, I think it's fair to allow Robotnik to be his entire purpose as well.

(This is also what makes Villain Stone compelling to me. He lost his purpose in universe but also in the narrative. His character doesn't serve a purpose anymore, because there's no Eggman. So he must earn his place in the story now)

So when you're going to introduce him into a new universe, first step is always to have an Eggman, we're doing great so far. Second step is wondering what that Eggman needs. Not what he wants, what he needs. Needs for what? Well, maybe to be a more compelling character, maybe to go through some character development, maybe to add some lightheartedness to his characters. He seems to be one of the cruelest eggs to ever man, so that last one would be important to me, specifically. But really, it depends on what you want to do with the character! Stone will adapt because his entire purpose is to be what Robotnik needs...

Now, disregarding all of that, I think I would make him one of the people who lived in the same place as Mr. Tinker aka amnesiac Eggman, who secretly had a crush on him and who's now trying to find him –and goes on a rampage about it– because that would be pretty funny. Like, he doesn't even care that the man is evil now, Stone just wants to find him. I think Eggman would find that very annoying, but he can't get rid of Stone because Stone is just THAT good. Now, kids, that's the real toxic yaoi.

[factual-fantasy]

30 Asks! Thank you! :)) 🐮

I was able to replace my tablet chord and download a brand new/fresh FireAlpaca file and so far things seem to be all better. But if my problems come back then I will be drawing in traditional yes <XDD

Also thank you so much!! :DDD

Bella my NPC cat? :0 She would accept the pats :))

@artistiemi

Awwwwwww 🥹🥹 This drawing is so cute and soft 😭😭💞💞💞 Thank you! :)))

@chickenmilk120 (Referencing this post)

Yeah 😔😔 hoping they change it someday soon 🙏🙏🙏

(Link in question)

Oh yeah! Its right here :)

@sc3n3mo-t3to

XDDD Thank you!! :))))

@candyglumboy (Sent after this post)

Not a crush, he's in love! :0 And so is Pomni but neither of them really realize that/understand it and thus aren't really doing anything about it <XD

@rockandtoon

SOBBBSSS THANOYIYUUU SO MCUCHYHH 😭😭💞💞💞

@fandomcenteral

Aw! Cute kitty!! :DD

And thank you, currently I feel not the best 💀 but hopefully this next doctors appointment will give me some answers <:))

@kwaziis-eyepatch-real

Thank you! :) But also sorry, no.. I wouldn't be comfortable with my art being used as pfps <:(

Ehhh,, I wouldn't <:( That probably wouldn't sit well with me..

Thank you very much for checking first though! Not everyone does <:)))

WAHAGG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :DD Sucks that you found me offsite but glad you're here none the less! :)

And don't worry, you'll find stuff for Kinger XDDD

@captain-skyler1987

Hello! And are those guys from Dandy's world.? XD

I don't like what you're implying by turning Jangles into a werewolf and then putting chocolate on the table <XDDD

@natewithcake (Post in question)

AAAAA THANK YOU!! :DDDD

MEEHEHEEEEHEHEEEEEEEEE🎶

@bellanova137

Maybe they'll come out and make it official someday! :0 But for now having them be in love and trying to hide it from each other is fun to draw and mess with XDD

I feel like having a wolf centaur body would mostly just be incontinent and very uncomfortable.😅

Typically, wolves display crepuscular behavior, meaning they prefer times of low light and are most active around twilight, dawn, and dusk. Imagine how that would clash with your human body which is supposed to sleep at night and stay awake all day..

You'd have to change your diet to give both your human AND wolf half the nutrients they need. It would be MUCH harder to clean yourself and wipe your own bum. You'd have to pay loads for pet shampoo and grooming products PLUS the human ones you already use.. You'd spend hours trying to groom your fur and not damage your wolf skin when you try to clean your human skin with other products and vice versa. All clothes have to be custom made, you cant sit or walk comfortably in any public spaces.. You'd have to go to human doctors AND special vets to care for both of your halves...

The list just goes on <XDD being a wolf centaur would just suck in my opinion.

Ah sorry- nono you weren't being rude. I just forgot to comment back that I don't actually know what laptop I have 😅

@ink-machine-kidd

She probably snuck past whoever was in charge of her and put on the headset even though she was told not to😔

(Recent post) (Queenie and Kinger comic)

Oh nono, I just hadn't made everyone's ref sheets yet at that time. But different outfits is something Caine would try to manage! :0

Man you really had pirates on the mind huh XDD

Ohh, I see. I might not do that.. but I get the idea now <:D Thank you!

Vibes received 🤩 Thank you! :)))

Thank you!! :DD

Big wolf! :D

@samcat71470558

Thank you for the kind words <:))) So far it seems like the new tablet chord and downloading a fresh FireAlpaca has fixed all my problems. Hopefully it stays that way! 🙏

XD I think I just have a pattern with medias I'm into. If the story is mostly wholesome it feels bland. So I add a bunch of angst to it. (Octonauts is a good example)

Or alternatively, if the story is super angsty or has types of angst that I don't take well, (like character deaths) then I usually make a fix-it AU that brings everyone back to life and changes/removes a lot of the angst. (TADC and my Undertale AU: RefinedTale being good examples)

Also in my AU, Kaufmo hasn't abstracted. So she bonded with the other humans in other ways overtime. 👍

@wolfie-777

At first I assumed these were obviously fake. But a quick Google search shows that they seem to be real! :0 Although the peeled banana is clearly photoshopped <XDD

Ngl, a vanilla-like custard taste is exactly what I hoped/expected those bananas to taste like XDD

@theintroverse

La Chancla translated to "the flip flop".? <:0 I'm sorry but I don't understand..

Also is he based on a Pinata? :0 I hadn't realized- perhaps I will have to consider giving him some candy powers <XDD

[lulu2992]

Hello!

This is your regular reminder that it was never officially stated anywhere that Faith Seed’s real name is Rachel Jessop, that this “fact” is inaccurate, and that the Far Cry Wiki should never be fully trusted.

Have a good day!

More explanations (with sources) below.

Faith’s real first name is Rachel, and this fact is confirmed by Tracey¹ and Faith² herself. There is (or was) also someone named Rachel Jessop in Hope County, who is mentioned by several characters³ and who owned the Jessop Conservatory⁴, but no one ever says she and Faith are the same Rachel.

In fact, Dr. Rachel Jessop was a scientist who used her conservatory to research and protect endangered flora and fauna, and specifically study the effects of mining on the environment³. She joined Eden’s Gate when she ran out of money and sold them her property, which was then used by the cult to research and develop Bliss⁵.

Rachel (Faith) isn’t even from Hope County⁶, and nobody aside from her ex-best friend Tracey seems to have known her when she was younger. The two of them were part of a “free-spirit movement out west” (maybe from Portland⁷) but became addicted to hard drugs⁸, so they came to Hope County to “detox”, and that’s when they found Eden’s Gate. Tracey thought joining them would help and allow them to “live off the grid”… but quickly realized her mistake. Despite her efforts, she could never convince Rachel to leave too, as she apparently felt right at home in the cult¹.

All we learn about Faith’s family in Far Cry 5 is that, according to her, they were abusive⁹. Unlike what her biography on the Wiki¹⁰ states, no one in the game ever says her father was an altruistic doctor who made plant-based remedies, or that the woman who grew orchids in the greenhouses of the Jessop Conservatory was her mother. The truth is that we don’t know anything about her parents.

If we hear a younger Faith explain, in the Far Cry 6 Collapse DLC, that her father makes medicine to help people, it’s not because this was canon in Far Cry 5, it’s simply because the DLC was partly based on the information available on the Wiki¹¹. Collapse didn’t confirm anything, it just accidentally helped spread false rumors and popular (but not always accurate) fan theories, such as the idea that Faith is powerless and under the influence of Bliss when, in canon, it’s the opposite��².

We have no idea how old she is either; her birth date on the Wiki is—you guessed it—made up as well. 1994 (24 years old in 2018)¹³ is believable, but just conjecture.

Faith Seed and Rachel Jessop are two separate characters.

Sources:

1: Tracey talks about Faith [LINK].

2: Faith talks about her former self [LINK].

3: NPCs mention the actual Rachel Jessop [LINK].

4: Dutch and Whitehorse explain what happened to the Jessop Conservatory [LINK].

5: Dr. Rachel Jessop is also mentioned in the description of the Jessop Conservatory from the deleted in-game encyclopedia [LINK]. Even though it was cut, since other characters confirm everything this description says, I see no reason to believe it’s not relevant anymore.

6: NPCs talk about Faith’s backstory [LINK].

7: Tracey implies she used to live in Portland [LINK].

8: Whitehorse gives details about Tracey and Faith’s life [LINK].

9: Faith gives her version of her story [LINK].

10: What Faith Seed’s page on the Far Cry Wiki looked like before the release of the Collapse DLC [LINK]. One sentence says, “Faith's father was a doctor who experimented with plants as part of an altruistic effort to save people”. It turns out the sound file cited as reference (2066969952.wem) is simply a cultist saying, “That Doctor Jessop was just trying to stop the inevitable. World’s gonna end, no point in saving it” (see source 3 above), never insinuating the Doctor Jessop in question is a man or related to Faith in any way.

11: Interview with the Scriptwriter and Narrative Designer of the DLC, Nikki Foy [LINK].

12: Whitehorse explains Faith is not only immune to the effects of Bliss, but also incredibly powerful and dangerous thanks to it [LINK].

13: Faith’s age on the Wiki possibly comes from one of the information sheets posted on the Playasia blog [LINK]. They appear to be unofficial and don’t seem very reliable because, as you can see, Faith’s hair and eye color are wrong...

[meggannn]

Ranking the Driving of CP2077 NPCs

Based on my experiences getting in the passenger seat next to my friends and allies across all these hours playing Cyberpunk 2077, I feel equipped to judge them on their driving skills or lack thereof, scripted and unscripted. For context, every time someone offered to drive me somewhere, I always said "yes" first out of laziness, but then out of horror, because I had to document proof that some of Night City's finest should never have been allowed on the road.

Not listed: People who drove me while I was in the backseat because I usually didn't know their face or name, e.g. Dexter DeShawn's driver or the Peralezes' driver. Important characters only, basically.

Jackie: 10/10 Got me home safely, apologized for scratching my car up during a gunfight, borrowed my car for a date, and delivered it back unscathed in the morning and because he paid for the damages to be fixed overnight without me asking. He's a real one. In honor of Jackie and to repay our peaceful trips together, I always make sure his ARCH remains scratch- and accident-free.

Judy: 9/10 Even when she was worried out of her mind trying to find Evelyn, she gave me a pretty unremarkable trip experience, which honestly puts her in the highest tier. Probably the best you can hope for in an NC driver is someone who can drive safely while in the middle of a crisis, because that's all the time.

Reed: 8/10 Genuinely a pretty good driver, just fucking slow as hell, but I guess I can't blame him for that in the super narrow streets of Dogtown.

Takemura: 7/10 Did his best while a bunch of assassins were shooting at us. Crashed the car into a very obvious billboard support to kill the guy on the car's hood, however it did nearly flatline us both when we were already in critical condition, so I can't give him full marks. That said, he saved my life and kept me alive while we were being chased by said assassins, then delivered me to a ripperdoc and helped carry me while he was also bleeding out. He also somehow managed to mostly stay in the correct lane while driving backwards down a curving road (!) just so I could have easier aim at a motorcyclist behind us. (I have mixed emotions on this: I'd understand wanting to brag that you can do that, but I think when we're already both full of bullet holes, it may not be the best time to show off.) So overall, his judgment skills range from excellent to questionable in a crisis. But we did have a much more pleasant, relaxed drive on our second trip together going to see Wakako, so with those two extremes, he weirdly averages out to probably be one of the most normal drivers in the city.

Nancy/Bes: 6.5/10 A lovely ride that would've been better if she hadn't "tapped" me at the end after letting me out. I give her a small pass because it was the middle of the night and I had just rescued her from a two-day stint in a Maelstrom hideout, so who knows what kind of fumes she'd been exposed to.

Delamain: 6/10 I mean, as drives go it was fine, but I'm knocking points off for not letting me change the route to stop at a goddamn doctor when my friend was bleeding out. I should be able to trust my driver to change routes to make the right decision for passengers in unexpected or urgent scenarios, which Delamain's service will not or cannot provide. As it runs its own business, it has more autonomy over itself than most AI, so I feels like it should install an emergency stop/rerouting mechanic somewhere in its programming.

River: 5/10 Technically never hurt anyone and he does obey the rules of the road, but I'm not sure which I'm more fearful of, his bad luck or his baffling judgment. Every time I ride with this guy to chase down a new lead, he somehow finds a car crash, shootout, or some other sort of jam on the road, drives slowly up to it, and then stops to gawk at it for several minutes, both hands at ten and two, glaring at the problem through the windshield as if that will make it wrap up faster... when he could, I dunno, turn right and drive slightly around it instead? The bad luck isn't his fault, but trips with him don't make for a pleasant experience.

Panam: 4/10 Her overall success rate getting me to and from places safely is very high... at least in the Badlands when there's no traffic around. As a streetkid, I would certainly trusts her driving skills over mine in the desert. However I know I cannot trust her in the city around other cars, because when we first met she drove STRAIGHT into my parked, newly fixed car, shoving it backwards onto the sidewalk without pausing at all. Then she looked right at me as if to say "What are you gonna do about it, bitch?" Still haven't forgiven her for that. So it's probably for the best Panem went back to the Aldecaldos, because she can't be trusted in a dense, urban lane.

Claire: 3/10 Guilty of several hit-and-runs, and I don't just mean the illegal street racing. Ran me over while dropping me off twice. I can forgive one time, but twice is a pattern as far as I'm concerned; I don't believe in third chances. She also shamelessly knocked over some pedestrians, so I know it was her, not me. I can see why she wanted me behind the wheel for our races so at least she's self-aware.

Kerry: 2/10 Like Panem, he is also guilty of crashing into my parked car when picking me up to go somewhere, yet unlike Panem, he did so while "borrowing" someone else's car while on a mission to blow up a third one. @skys-metro has also shown me he's guilty of crashing HIS OWN fancy Aerondight as soon as he leaves Denny's mansion, every time. Y'know, that car he specifically asked Rayfield to manufacture for him, of which there are only four in the city? As I've established above, twice is a pattern in my book. Johnny is correct not to trust Kerry behind the wheel, but I'd add an addendum: Do not ever trust this guy with any vehicle in any context whatsoever.

Rogue: 1/10 Absolutely fucking abysmal. Now I see why Rogue plants her ass in the Afterlife and lets work come to her, because her license not only needs to be revoked immediately but she needs to be on a billboard about public safety hazards. Not only did she crash several time into various railings and support poles, but at one point she drove in circles at 70mph for about five minutes and then chased down other cars on the road just to slam into them (including a police car but tbf that was just funny). Could she have just been getting some pent-up anger out of her system on the way to track down Grayson? Sure, I get that, but leave me out of it, old woman! Her gaze was ice cold and her hands were completely steady, but I felt the heat from the fires of Rome burning just beyond our fragile windshield. Not even using the "Skip Ride" feature would let me escape this madness, because it just teleported our car somewhere else, with her still behind the wheel, still glaring at every other car on the road as she rammed them so hard their hoods came off. Poor V was trapped in a never-ending, unwilling game of bumper cars from hell that Rogue was playing with herself, so eventually I had to pull a divine intervention and reload an earlier save (Guess what: Rogue STILL drove like a maniac the second time, but at least this time "Skip Ride" actually worked). Some footage of this godforsaken drive has been saved and shown below, because my V wanted to record her possible last moments and warn people of this terror in the streets in case she didn't make it out alive.

So there you have it: I nominate Rogue as Worst Driver in Night City, which is not a decision I take lightly, as there are a lot of contenders.

[utilitycaster]

I do want to plug The Re-Slayer's take again if you're not listening: it's short and goes very fast (it's edited to have no real table-talk, so it plays like a scripted podcast even though it's actual play) and despite being all ages...think AT:LA or Doctor Who and how fucked up things can get. Also the core cast is great (I was already a fan of Jasmine Bhullar and William Jasper Cartwright but Jasmine Chiong has won me over as Farah, a cranky older blood hunter woman), they've had some great guests (those listening on the main feed - Christian Navarro is about to show up!), and some of the main cast of CR has shown up as very fun NPCs!

[sawbuckplus]

Watching everybody I know on the left pontificating about the proper way to conduct audits, after getting their accounting degrees from the University of Internet this week, is absolute cringe for me. Guys, listen, I say this with love… You don’t know dick about shit and it’s fucking embarrassing. Just stop. You sound like idiots. So now, as a guy who used to be an auditor, who has defended companies from dozens of audits from different government agencies, I’ll try to correct some of your incredibly stupid NPC talking points you keep endlessly barfing up. First off, you need to know there’s a difference between an outside audit and an internal audit. An outside audit is when somebody who isn’t part of your company comes in and checks your stuff. 

...

You do NOT need to be an accountant to be an auditor. Anybody who says this is a total dumb ass with zero grasp of how any of this shit works in real life. The people who make up your audit team are recruited from whatever skill sets are necessary to audit that particular system. I (the accountant) have been on audit teams with IT guys, programmers, lawyers, and even machinists. (why machinists, because I was auditing a factory, and I could count the parts, but I couldn’t tell you if the parts were bullshit or not) So if you are auditing a computer system, then your auditors would obviously require computer people. Fucking duh, morons. Holy shit. The reason most auditors come from an accounting background is because most fraud, waste, and abuse comes from fuckery on the books. But if the fuckery is taking place in the particular systems before they get to the financials, that’s where we bring in systems experts. Next, you morons are acting like the entire organization is half a dozen 20 somethings, because that’s who got doxxed first and you fuckers are too stupid or dishonest to realize that’s not the entire team. Newsweek has compiled a list of known DOGE staff so far, and their ages are 33, 42, 28, 34, 67, 30, 33, 36, 33, 47, 25, 24, 43, 23, 25, 45, 19, 28, 21, 44, 39, 57, 45, 41, 32, 28, 22, 37, 37, 35, 24, 42, 36, and 36.

...

But (insert sob story here about how some good necessary wonderful saint of a government employee or super awesome wonderful government program got cut here) REEEEE!!!! Except too bad that’s total bullshit. The time for a gentle, caring, measured (slow), careful pruning of government to only remove the bad tissue with a scalpel was generations ago. We are now at the axe and TQ time before the patient dies. Yeah, that sucks, but that’s what happens when you procrastinate going to the doctors while a cancerous tumor the size of a fucking watermelon grows out your back.

...

Next, Elon now has access to our personal data! REEEEEE! Which is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard, because if Elon wanted all our personal data he could just buy it off the Communist Chinese, from one of the last seven times our incompetent and unaccountable federal government leaked all our data, for way cheaper. This is just idiotic obfuscation.

...

If a company’s records were full of broken bullshit, the government would assume the worst, fine the ever living fuck out of you, and possibly send you to jail. Because the government’s default assumption when a company’s books are all fucked up is that it is on purpose to hide fraud. Except when our government’s books are filled with things like 30 million dollars to fund a Transsexual Peruvian Orchestra, and 99% of that money never made it out of northern Virginia, we’re supposed to assume that’s just nice fluffy goodness, and HOW DARE YOU assume there’s anything dishonest going on.

Read the whole thing, and then take a wander through the comments. Well worth your time.

[biscuits-of-bagend]

Doctor Who and the Maladaptive Coping Mechanisms

I have extremely specific brainworms so I see a parallel between Belinda and Ralph and I need to explain.

So when Three first arrives at the space centre in Ambassadors of Death, he is being super rude in the “I am surrounded by idiot human ants” sort of way. And like it’s genuine. He’s as pissed to be stuck on Earth for Season 7 as I am, and so he is just not seeing people as real people. It takes Ralph standing up to him, refusing to be used like a worker ant so that the Doctor can solve the problem,(1) and thus being the very best friend he possibly could be, to remind the Doctor of the value of his precious idiot humans.(2) He brings the Doctor back to us.

1.

2.

The way that Fifteen doesn’t see people properly is more subtle, but off the back of DoctorDonnaRose, the Legend of Ruby Sunday and Joy the Star of Bethlehem, he’s fallen into the Sutekh trap of seeing people as stories, as mysteries to be solved, or "adventures" as Belinda puts it.(3) Belinda engages with the Doctor on his level and refuses to go in the Companion box, just as Ralph refuses to go in the Standard NPC Who Is Just There To Provide Information box. He is forced to see her.(4)

3.

4.

You can see from his reaction that this is a big shift. It’s uncomfortable, because it means looking at the world so much more complexly again, which is scary. But I am sure he will ultimately do it. If Three can, then so can he 💙💙

[alliedn]

currently mastering a homebrew version of CoS and I had my party get into Barovia through a horror carnival, twbtw style! If you're familiar with canon d&d lore, it's Isolde's carnival. Except I had Isolde die and my ocs take over because I hate her as written sorry not sorry lololol

There are more original characters, but I'm starting to post these in case you enjoy them so you can bully me into sharing more! In order:

the 4 plague doctors of the carnival, my players only really met 2. Dr Crimson, Cordovan, PB (short for Peste Bubbonica, Bubonic Plague) and Lunedì (Monday). They're adoptive sisters! And not really licensed medical professional but shush. They have a maskless design I swear haha

Funesta Pathos-Lepiota, the new artistic director of the Carnival, and her wife Sibilla Ardelean. A drow and a wood elf, basically Gomez and Morticia Addams if they were roaring 20s elder lesbians. Funesta is also a dhampire but that's like the most normal thing about her so no one notices. Sibilla is a disciple of the Raven Queen, and a native Barovian. Also the adoptive mothers of the plague doctors and the krampus! (see below)

Toblach and Bruneck, the carnival's krampus and security personnel. They're very sweet, eccentric 10ft tall dudes who enjoy scaring folks and play-kidnapping misbehaving children, although this usually backfires because most kids break a rule just to get their attention and an instant high-speed ride in their baskets. They're blood brothers and adoptive kids of Funesta and Sibilla, thus also siblings of the plague doctors. One big happy family! Can you tell found family is my favourite trope ever also SHOUTOUT to my pal @milich96 for bearing with me appropriating alpine culture and for suggesting names!! You're basically their godparent now

Silessa, one of the few npcs who are actually from the original setting, although I changed so much about her I might claim her as an oc at this point asdfghjk. Heavily inspired by Kalbelia dancers (from a real life tribe of Rajasthani snake charmers), she performs with her beloved snakes, her favourite being a 15ft long python named Sir Hissington, whom she affectionately refers to as "uncle". She's actually a giant venomous snake polymorphed into a human, but first of all, a sweetheart who loves sharing stories. I should really do her justice and clean her artwork.

And that's all for now! Names in image ID

[wardenbloom]

List of Fics I've written so far

It has come to my attention that I have written here a handful of fanfics (mostly lads). So for easy navigation, I'll put here the link and the summary and a little author's note.

Feel free to browse, mostly these are just short stories I thought of in passing lol and I mostly write about Caleb or Zayne -- sometimes Rafayel.

Caleb

For Whatever's worth - link

Author's note: My silly attempt at student x teacher age gap fic that I doubt I thought of very well.

As I fall - link

Author's note: Short Story; I had a crisis between Zayne and Caleb, hence, this fic.

Summary: Nia, Zayne's friend from college, have been in love with him for years already. However, Zayne couldn't reciprocate as his heart is for another, attempting to move on, Nia decided to have a sexual relationship (friends with benefits) with a stranger (Caleb) which could end up good but also could end up bad but it really didn't matter to her. Eventually, she found herself comfortable with Caleb's presence.

Warmth of you - link

Author's note: Caleb's mind is really fun to write. Big chances are he doesn't have a healthy coping mechanism if he loses his love.

Summary: Caleb lost his love but his unhealthy coping mechanism made him hold on to her even after death.

Unearthly Cohabitation: link

Author's note: I wrote this when I was drunk and I was seeing things....

Summary: Erin found herself in a cheap apartment where Caleb's soul still lingers. Desperate to get Caleb's annoying ass out, she helped him pass on by doing the things he regrets when he was still living.

Zayne

The flowers are in full bloom today - link

Author's note: Writing this, I really want a blind MC for Zayne because he is one of the most caring people out there, you know? And caring for people with disability imposes a challenge for him since he seldom handles such. So here, I made a blind MC who is not dependent on anyone but Zayne still wants her to depend on him.

Summary: Ringo became blind after an accident and she had been working as a ghost singer and song writer. She gets lost easy as her vision is impaired. She met the kind doctor who shares the same interests as her and was kind enough to help her out when it comes to menial tasks.

A walk with you - link

Author's note: Wrote this way back even before lads was introduced to the market. Back then, I didn't have a male lead to give the role to then I saw Zayne... suddenly, I had an idea.

Summary: The grim reaper had always been impartial. Walking together with the souls of the dead had always been his goal. However, there are deaths that he just thought that were too early. So why? Why are there deaths that seem early?

A mermaid's gift - link

Author's note: Okay, this one I got a bit creative. This whole story was inspired by one of the characters in Honor of Kings -- Dolia. Her passive in game is that she has a mermaid's gift that she could give to a teammate. Anyway, here, I enjoyed writing this (probably cried to while writing). Zayne as a sick teenager... my heart is so soft for him!

Summary: Zayne's sickness had been getting worse and no cure was yet to be found. For his 16th birthday, he jokingly wish to have a mermaid friend but his father took it seriously. The mermaid grew fond of Zayne and they later on had many memories together.

Within Grasp - link

Author's note: A story to gift to my IRL friend who lured me in game lolol.

Summary: Ongoing series; Zayne had been looking everywhere for you. And finally, he figured out that the real you was hiding behind the screen they call reality. With that, he paid a great price to cross the boundary and to at least be a part of your life. But sometimes, he wonders, what could possibly go wrong with committing the taboo of crossing the fine line of reality and fiction?

Burden - Ao3 Link

Author's note: Okay, here I was just thinking that maybe some NPC was in love with Zayne, enough to actually fight for his life since he's just throwing it all away for the MC. This has around 50k words so I just uploaded it on ao3 for easy viewing.

Summary: Luciel, the Lieutenant of Silent Forest, fell in love with a doctor who will never see her the same way. Nevertheless, she still decided to save him from his prophecy even if it could cost her her life. After all, giving him the rest of his lifetime in this universe... would suit the world far better than letting her live.

Rafayel

No title - link

Author's note: I literally just made this from the attached meme!! I was like "Oh this sounds Rafayel..." hahhahaha

Summary: Just Rafayel and reader's toxic relationship that somehow lasted and always ends up with sex.

My Beloved Muse - link

Author's note: The idea popped up when I was staring at the loading screen from the unending "verifying files" thingy in game...

Summary: The immortal Rafayel's memory was badly eroded. While he couldn't remember who was it that he loved deeply, he found himself drawn to a specific painting that somehow makes him feel at ease... as if the person in the painting was someone so familiar to him. Desperate to unravel the feeling, he decided to sculpt the woman from the painting, unlocking the eroded memories he had.

Sylus

Partake - link

Author's note: MC BEING A BI-CURIOUS GIRL IS IN MY BUCKETLIST!!

Summary: One shot; Visiting the Onychinus Base, you found a woman that had Sylus's looks. Somehow, you can't help but feel attracted to her which ended up with you questioning your sexuality.

[16-tito-16]

hi guys, it's me

Yeah, I have three personalities tito NPC- a little bit of everything ТГ (ru) / Vk(ru) РоткодWWN - command and conquer art Twitter / Bluesky / Vk(ru) / ТГ(ru) / PRITON - NSFW art Bluesky / furaffinity

love

fandom: command and conquer / Red Alert Crash Bandicoot Twisted Metal GI Joe: A Real American Hero/ Renegades Classic Doctor Who Postal New fandom : The Outlast Trials Deltarune

OC (command and conquer)

main characters

 trade - yes

[astridkai]

My Thoughts on the Romanceable Characters in Coral Island

This is going to be part one with the men + Raj. Merfolk will be their own post because this got long. I also start a little mean, please stay with me here-

DISCLAIMER!!: I am not done with all the heart events, so this is subject to change! I'm also still on my first playthrough. Please don't take anything personally if I don't like your favorite character, it's a game and not that serious. Most of my bad reviews are focused more on being funny than trying to prove a character is "bad". I really love this game and all the characters! These are just my current thoughts (or lack thereof) on them.

Ben

Starting off strong because I hate this man. First of all, he reminds me of an ex so I immediately dislike him a little bit. Then he was gone a whole season and had the audacity to send me an errand in the mail. But that doesn't go into my main problem with him (spoilers for his heart events).

He has a 20-some-odd year old duck named Fun Bucket. Cute, right? Well poor little Fun Bucket fall ill. Tragic! Heartbreaking! What does Ben do? Maybe take his beloved companion to the ranchers (that live like a 10 minute walk away from him) that probably know something about vet care? Maybe try getting some animal medicine? Possibly see if maybe there's food he can feed to help Fun Bucket feel better? None of the above!

This guy just wraps him in a blanket, sits him outside with a TV (which in my game was the middle of winter), and feeds the duck pizza. Pizza. Ducks, notoriously, shouldn't be eating bread! What is pizza? Bread with toppings. Then he waits an absurd amount of time to stop being in denial about Fun Bucket needing medical attention and takes the duck-- duck. D-U-C-K. Duck, the bird-- to a HUMAN DOCTOR to figure out whats wrong with him.

It made me dislike him strongly, I would not trust that man on my farm with my beloved animals. Ever.

Charles

I'm not done with his heart events, so right now he's just kinda...there? The sneezing and dying in spring and refusing to take an antihistamine (per a dialogue line from Yuri I got like once) is very real of him.

Kenny

Kenny!!! I love him so much :D! Planning on romancing him (maybe, undecided still). He won me over with a dialogue about a wasp, because I love bugs and I think people need more empathy for them. I love how he likes animals and nature so much, because so do I. And from what I can tell, he seems very sweet!

Luke

I am done with his heart events, and honestly? Just there, and has rich parents. He has a really cute dog, Taco is great. During the winter fair he has a line about staying with Taco on the beach while he takes a nap, and I thought that was cute.

Mark

I made a post about his reaction to getting a loved gift on his birthday, and it cursed him in my game forever. If I get his actual dialogue, it's a miracle sent by Hell to taunt me. His dialogue box is just a blank white screen and clicking off gives a quick flash of whatever the last NPC I talked to said. According to my save, Mark doesn't exist anymore.

Noah

He's cute and sweet! I thought the scene in the library about the fairy he was researching was fun. I was going to romance him, but he is so worried about leaving his mom alone and her possibly getting hurt that I felt bad at the idea of making him move out.

Pablo

No. The first thing he says to me is "Damn, I wasn’t expecting you to look like THIS" immediately no. Absolutely not. Then I get to his heart events and this man has atrocious listening skills! His brother doesn't want to feel ignored. What does he do? Ignores every aspect of his brother and brings him to things that Pablo, and only Pablo (exaggerated), enjoys! When finally confronted about this his first response is just "What's the difference?" WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!? Sure he fixes it in the end, but still don't like it. No.

Rafael

He seems sweet, and I relate to him a lot from what I've seen. He is also glitched- I'll probably romance him in a different playthrough. I think he's very interesting and from what I've seen on here is very husband worthy, just...he will only talk to me about the Wind Gate opening. I am so hoping for that to be fixed in a patch/update.

Raj

Almost didn't like them because of the coffee obsession. But then their dialogue lines started to be about other things, and I fell in love with them. And the coffee thing became endearing when I learned more about Raj. 100% going to marry them in my next save (I might film that one, unsure). Actively making an OC to ship them with.

Scott

I don't run into him much so he's kinda there. I do like that his personality seems a little unfit to his interest (at least that's the consensus I've seen some people have, I don't totally agree with it but moving on), I think it makes him a little more interesting. I will not be romancing him ever because he has the same name as a family member and that feels weird.

Surya

Another one I was going to romance! I really liked that he moved to the island shortly before the Farmer did, I think that it'd be fun to think about Surya and the Farmer figuring out the island together. Only reason I didn't actually romance him is I don't like having kids on my first saves in farming sims (no valid reason for that btw) and he has a line about wanting the coral reefs to be around for his future kids to enjoy so I felt bad.

Theo

I'm trying really hard to have an opinion on him that is more than just "I like that he likes music and also he's hot" but I can't right now. I'll blame this on sleep deprivation and come back in 3-5 business days if a thought forms.

Wakuu

His relationship with his dad reminds me a little of my relationship with my mom. Seeing Wakuu being able to make some amends with his dad and his dad actually acknowledging he messed up was something that made me feel hopeful for my own life. That has made Wakuu an important character to me.

Not all my ideas are fleshed out because I'm not done with all the events!! I also just don't interact much with some of them (like Theo, Scott, and Luke). If I play on a different save and romance some of them, my opinions will probably change. Thank you for reading this far, I appreciate it :)

[floweryanarchy]

Big fan of your outlaws au 🤠 will you introduce the other four companions (Minthara, Jaheira, Halsin & Minsc) too? Or do you have (spontaneous) thoughts of how they might be included?

I will when I start getting into later act 1/ act 2 shenanigans. My thought process with all of this is very spontaneous and improv but hey it works!!

I have Minthara in the works (I’m so excited to design her outfit you have no idea, there’s so much potential with spider emblems and gothic cowgirl aesthetic. I’ve never drawn her so I’m very looking forward to it.) But she’s one of the main players that’s ushering the True Soul cult under the tutelage of Orin. The drow are already a people to be feared, the Lolth sworn are more common to have their faces on wanted posters that only the most desperate and brave try to collect the bounties.

Minthara is a far renowned outlaw that no one dares to come close, her body count is massive.

Halsin is getting fleshed out, probs will be introduced along with minthara as we get into True Soul territory. @gewhanaa had some great ideas for him that I’m so looking forward to adding. Right now, he’s a doctor that curates special alternative medicines such as Halsin Silverbough’s Soothing Tincture! Got a strange illness? Go to Halsin!

I’m gonna be real I gotta research Jaheira and Minscs in game backstories cuz every time they would drop lore I would zone out and process nothing they said.

I rlly wanna do some doodles of npcs like Rolan and Dammon cuz they’re my faves and I can’t resist. If there are other npcs you’d wanna see in the outlaws au, drop it in the ask box and I can see what I can do!!

[witheredgardenparty]

Primum Non Nocere

Part 1. | Part 2.

Read on AO3 (AO3 Account)

(This might look familiar. Author moved blogs.)

Childe x g/n Reader

Modern Day Mafia!AU

On quiet, rainy nights like tonight, there is very little to do but to wait. Rain kept people inside. Night kept people in bed. The only thing that happens on nights like this, are nothing at all or complete and utter hell. (or, the one where you get saddled with a difficult patient.)

Warnings: yandere dynamics, soft yandere, Reader uses dark humor and suicidal ideology as a coping mechanism, Reader is an interning doctor, strong opinions of a failing medical system, treated a little like a medical drama, minor character death, improper use of Fatui NPCs, gun violence, threats of violence, workplace harassment, due to plot reasons Childe is a little OOC (that will clear up with the head injury)

Note: Implying it is modern day Teyvat and not the real world, but I don't really get around to naming locations in this one.

Word Count: 2.7k

It is raining. It is raining and it is darkening and it is quieting and you are waiting. You are waiting because you are not sleeping. You are not sleeping because you are making mistakes.

Had you the opportunity, you would take your younger self aside and tell them: learn a trade or become an illustrator or default to vagabond. Maybe you will have been poor, but current choices have made you poor regardless and miserable and you are not sleeping and your body is barely working. There are no guarantees in life, but you could have chosen to be happy. You could have chosen anything else but this. You could have been anything else but this. Anything else, but a doctor.

Yet, this did not happen. Instead, you studied hard, studied tricks, met the right people, fed your soul to the wheel, and failed. Though eventually, trying again and squeaking in. Half the game, sometimes, is luck. If only you had realized then, that it was when you were failing, that luck was trying to save you.

...please read the rest on AO3. (Requires an Account)