#THE FUCKING DOG LMFAO RUN BITCH

[moe-broey]

NOT a Three Houses hater for the record. More of a fake fan than anything LMFAOOOOO

[orcelito]

Very definitely have Bite Shape on my leg now :/

[chunkymamatam]

Do you have any more info about shifting to MHA? I know that was probably a while ago but I really wanna try shifting there so yeah!! :DDD

Yeah. It was a really long time ago. Like 4 years lol

So this was actually the first time and place I wanted to shift to. It was mostly mini shifting.

One time I went and I “gained sentience” as me and my friends like to call it lmfao in the street. I looked around and I was like “oh shit. I’m actually here.. huh. I wonder if I can bother Hawks” I saw he was busy and I was like “man I’ll go bother Aizawa he’s too busy with fan girls for me to introduce myself.” I go to walk off and I hear flapping of wings

My first thought was “ah he has hero work to do.” Tell me why this man lands in front of me and knocks me on my ass. That shit hurt like a bitch 😭THEN HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO ASK IF I NEED HELP GETTING UP LIKE HE DIDN'T DO THAT SHIT ON PURPOSE

Also keep in mind I had never met that man until then. I shifted home it freaked me out so bad lol It's funnier when I remember over there my clone teleported her ass away pfff

The next time I managed to shift there I was in an alleyway and all of a sudden a feather floats down. This stalking ass bitch was watching me up above. He drops down and I kindly (NOT) tell him he needs to stop doing that shit (He hasn't done it since pfffff) and he was like

"So.. You're the one who teleported away in the middle of a crowded area?"

"What does that matter? The fuck were you doing watching me???"

"That's for me to know and you to never find out! Haha anyway duty calls" THEN THE BITCH FLIES AWAY Keep in mind I didn't think he was actually stalking me and that's why I didn't freak out more and this next bit happened.

I left after that interacting and came back a different night. It was night and I was just trying to figure out wtf to do now that I'm here and tell me why this man appears behind me saying some "We meet again!" Now if I call you one of my many claimable slurs...(/j) but seriously tho little 18 year old Tam was just happy to be there lmfao. He comes at me with the "I just got off of work you wanna get a bite to eat"

... I said yes and he finally asked my name LMFAO I ended up going to his place at the end of the night. Crazy I know but again I didn't think he was ACTUALLY stalking me okay????

It gets better because after that I ended up accidentally shifting into the LOV hide out LMFAO I literally don't know why tf my clone was there but I was trying to get out of there so fast. They wanted me dead bro. Now I momentarily shot myself in the foot when I was arguing why they should let me live. Shiggy asked why I should be allowed to live and I was like "I got dirt on everyone"

he said "prove it"

I was like "Well I got dirt on everyone here too so I could probably prove it like that"

BRUH BAD MOVE THEY WANTED ME GONE EVEN WORSE WHEN I PROVED IT

I revealed to Dabi I knew who he was and gave a few details about every person there that I definitely shouldn't have know from there perspective but then Magne came in and I was like "HOLY SHIT YOU'RE STILL ALIVE????" proceeded to give them life saving advice for her and went home cuz that shit was TOO stressful. had to let my clone deal lmfao

It worked considering I was a free man when i went back. did it last long? no. Was freedom nice for a while?? yeah. Tell me why I run into Hawks and Endeavor. He introduced us and idk if it's just his face but bro was mean mugging me. Endeavor please stop looking at me like that I haven't even started dogging on you verbally yet. They end up running off to do their job or whatever and I walk off. Tell me why I see Shigaraki creeping in an alleyway just watching. HELLO??? I cross the street and end up getting snatched up by Dabi and Twice anyway but fucking christ bro. They take me to the warehouse and tell me why they hit me with the "You were right" MAGNE FUCKING DIED BRO I WAS SO UPSET

Long story short they forced me to stay with them after that. Dabi for the longest time gave me the cold shoulder and was acting like he hated me. I'm just gonna say he didn't and not go too far into what happened cuz idk how old you are. There was also this time when Shigaraki kissed me out of nowhere. I was drunk and rambling and crying about something to him and he kissed me. Gonna be honest I thought he just wanted me to shut up and he was just following the trope. I didn't think he liked me. I only found out because he found out what happened with Dabi and chased me down to confront me about it. It was a wild time. I was so fucking scared bro.

He said "How did you not know I liked you??? I literally kissed you"

"I thought you just wanted me to STFU!"

Shiggy after I said that dumb shit:

I'm fucking stupid when it comes to people liking me in short. I stopped going to that specific DR shortly after that. I have other MHA DRs if y'all wanna hear about them.

[larkingame]

here to hopefully help out with some spare change for the RO scenarios- how'd they be as parents? thanks and have a lovely day!

thank you for your spare change lol.

so what I'll say is that not all of the RO's would like to be parents--and I'll specify which ones would/wouldn't, but I'll write about the ones who would :)

nash: would love to potentially have kids one day. he's an uncle to a niece (that he's unfortunately yet to meet :c but is very desperate to.) He'd be very hands on I think--and big on his kids education. I think he'd prefer to raise them out west, beneath the big open skies he's fallen in love with, but he also wouldn't mind heading back to buffalo so that his kids could be more connected with his parents and brother. He'd want a couple kids--he wouldn't think it fair to leave behind an only child when he passed away--and his relationship with his own brother is one of his most treasured friendships.

cyrus: he's...well...he's complicated about kids. on one hand, he'd love to have them, he thinks...but on the other...he's not sure if his heart could take that. not again.

rose: rose took a large part in raising her five siblings, to a point where she views them as her own children, and doesn't think she could handle having any more of her own, nor does she really want them. as a parent she's a hard-ass, very tough on her siblings (but that's only because she loves them so much) she's very protective--but she also believes in pushing them to their fullest potential.

dominic: could not imagine himself as a parent. he can barely handle himself (?) and you expect him to look after another living thing(?) secretly he thinks he wouldn't mind it...but he doesn't trust himself to not fuck it up.

celina: never in a million years would celina sokolova be caught with a child. she is much too happy with her animals. (if this were modern times you KNOW she'd be like a millenial dog mom with an instagram account for her shih tzu and it'd be named something stupid like placek)

hollis: similar boat as dominic--they wouldn't mind a family--but they do not trust themselves to not ruin their kid.

ace: kids was the dream--especially with abrams. a little farm somewhere where they could run around, and ace could grow old surrounded not only by their children, but their grandchildren as well. they'd be loving, much like their own parents were--but tough.

ethel: has a habit of spoiling her kid. not to say that she's a quintessential Boy Mom TM but ethel is a boy mom lmao. Arthur is her little prince, who in her eyes can do no wrong. She wants him to have more than she ever had growing up, and she'll do whatever she can to make that happen.

cassidy: views arthur as his own, so there's a pretty clear indicator of what he'd be like as a father there. Cassidy's father was an evil son of a bitch, so cas is determined to break that cycle with arthur--he's gentle, he's kind--and doesn't behave the way he does with arthur with anyone else.

reyes: she's ambivalent about kids. on one hand the staunch catholic in them very much subscribes to the 'be fruitful and multiply' mindset...but on the other--they're afraid she'd ruin them.

montero: would definitely be on the r/childfree subreddit LMFAO. not a fan of kids, not in a million years.

adam: he's always been curious about fatherhood--he'd like to one day, to have something to call his own, to have a child...he supposes that is most likely the end goal here--but is he ready? he doesn't know.

[oldsargasso]

You have had your hands full! Don’t worry I have ENDLESS fanon thoughts so I will do my best to keep your ask box company 😌

Yes the advantage of feeding ourselves is we get to pick the menu!! I am CERTAIN at this point that Garfield and Benz simply pulled this ship out of thin air and made up their own headcanons to fill in for their lack of screentime LMAO. And NO YOU HAVE NOT TOLD ME ABOUT THIS WIP!! HOOKUPS FOLLOWED BY BETRAYAL?? BY TONY’S TOTALLY NORMAL PA?? YES PLEASE. I am basically eagerly awaiting everything you write at this point. AND YES KENTA IS INVESTED! How can his new boyfriend keep his visa if the team’s funding gets cut? Tragic.

This is why Kim is the realest to me. He asked for none of this and just rolled with the punches when most ppl would have either kept their heads down or fucked off. Objectively The Best. (SHFKFKFJJD Try telling Kim that Tony is his new owner—see how that goes down 😆)

(You are so right as always. Kim deserves ppl kneeling at his feet.)

Double offenses against us specifically, I’ll never recover. I’LL NEVER FORGIVE THEM IF WE DON’T EVENTUALLY GET SOME SORT OF FOLLOW-THROUGH! But yes supportive bf Kenta, it’s absolutely canon, he was definitely lurking in the stands somewhere.

Winner is so iconic and I love him… (multiple timelines running in our heads to carry all of the five hundred ships this show has provided)

Please give me ALL of your thoughts about collars, I beg of you, I live for this. Kenta would ABSOLUTELY be wearing his on the regular—he needs that reassuring weight under his shirt (totally normal about it saying “Kim’s” or smth similar on the tag). Like he’s fine with being a dog as long as it means he’s a beloved pet who doesn’t get cast aside! And Winner is ABSOLUTELY the type to bitch about a collar. He prob tried to make fun of Kenta for being collared (gets almost stabbed for it), but also passive aggressively moans about “Where’s MY present?” and then bitches about the collar when he DOES get it. And I’m SCREAMING HE DESERVES TO BE MUZZLED he’d be so cute… And Dean would look SO pretty in his collar (when is he NOT pretty tho lbr). PLEASE feel free to go on about what they look like! Kim can carry the keys to the collars around his neck 😌

I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FICS! The KentaDean one is basically written just for the two of us. “The system works” LMFAO RESTORATIVE JUSTICE IN ACTION? Dean thinks he’s being SUBTLE but he has the BIGGEST puppydog expression when he wants something, like he emotes SO much in comparison to Kenta and Kim.

“He’s not a narcissist he’s just oblivious” ahdjfjf OUR BELOVED DUMBASS LOSER… I love the way he was as Tony’s henchman, like “I’m gonna be SUCH a good evil henchman my parents told me I was basically overqualified for this job—you want bodyguards? I’ll GET you bodyguards. I let those guys escape but I TOTALLY foiled their little scooby-doo plot because I am the BEST henchman. I’m SOOO much better than Kenta you know like fuck that guy and his stupid handsome eyes-“ Again it’s like… he gives himself so much affirmation he doesn’t need it from others; it’s just attention he wants. He’s SO interesting! And I love the contrast of Kim’s response to Tony being “Absolutely NOT” while Winner’s is “Absolutely YES” they should fuck about it, for our enjoyment.

I’M PLACING MY BETS ON THE MV COMING OUT THIS FRIDAY (prob late evening for you?). I think they’ll save the more emotional ones for after the fanmeet next week (unless they’re only doing one MV drop a month in which case haha catch me lying deceased on the floor!) 

HOW COULD YOU BREAK MY POOR LITTLE HEART LIKE THIS?? DEAN HAVING SOMETHING WITH KIM (A FRESH START) ONLY TO END UP FEELING LIKE HE’S BEEN REPLACED… AGAIN… WHY DO WE KEEP PUTTING HIM IN SITUATIONSHIPS AND THEN MAKING HIM FEEL REJECTED. I’M HURTING 😭😭😭 I feel like having Kim’s attention would be so fulfilling? Rewarding? That the slight absence of it is like the sun going out. DEVASTATING (and DELICIOUS for me). But Pete just dropping Kenta off like Kim is running a doggy daycare is hilarious dkfjehshf I have this mental image of Pete carrying Kenta by the scruff of his neck?? And Dean is self-destructing while Kim is just. Unfazed about all of it! Dean wants him to be jealous, meanwhile Kim is like. “It’s physically impossible to be jealous of Winner. But if he hurt you, if he forced you, if you hated it, that’s a different conversation.” I just really need someone going to bat for Dean. There’s something to explore about the difference between possessiveness (what Dean wants or thinks he wants) and protectiveness (what Kim will actually provide).

I will send you five million more words about my ideas once you’ve had a chance to read the fic, since it expounds a lot on what I mentioned before and also just my feelings about our doggies. Also I’ve got like, various heat scenarios to talk about as well! 

honestly Garfield and Benz are throwing themselves into this ship with no reservations. I hope they get cast in another show together clearly they deserve to make out on camera like they want 😌

I'm honestly like. mad about that fic lmao I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote a whole bunch of it in my notes app and then when I woke up the next day I CLOSED THE NOTES WITHOUT SAVING. devastated. have to start from scratch. BUT now I'm like. it would probably work better from Kim's POV? but then I'd have to rewrite this which I really like lol :(

When Mr Tony had told Kenta to organise for Kim to be picked up from the airport and taken to the hotel, he definitely hadn't meant for Kenta to do the chauffeuring himself. But finding the loopholes in Tony's orders was how Kenta managed his life these days, so he was waiting in Arrivals in his usual black suit with a printed sign at 6pm the following Tuesday, surrounded by a group of men attired and be-signed much the same. Which was probably why Kim didn't give Kenta a second glance as he walked up. No big deal; Kenta’s used to being overlooked. “K’Kim?” he asks in polite confirmation, although he recognises Kim very well from the photographs he’s studied. Kim gives him a nod. This time he takes a good look at Kenta, sharp eyes sweeping from his carefully styled hair down to his perfectly shined shoes.

anyway then they go to Kim's hotel room and hook up and it starts from there.

Kim in the last few episodes is the BEST. he's just like "time fro breakfast! sure I'll chase down a teenager for a phone. sure I'll come along and beat up Winner in a funky jacket. sure I'll join your racing team and adopt north and sonic as my babies."

I NEED A FOLLOW UP I NEED A SPECIAL EPISODE OR A SEASON TWO. I hope we get something, even tiny crumbs, from the fanmeeting coming up. until it happens I can live in hope lmao.

!!! NOT THE KEYS THAT'S PERFECT!!! oh for sureee Kenta wears his basically all the time. its definitely black leather, right? he has a day collar something like this. or it says return to owner with Kim's details!! and then he has a more substantial collar for when they're at home, with rings for attaching a leash or ties to. yessss Winner. he doesn't care about it but also he should be given presents especially if other people are getting presents! I feel like his collar is red. probably leather as well. spiked!! or maybe something like a martingale collar so it's fine until someone pulls on it. imagine how pretty something like this would be for Dean though! or was thinking like an actual chain necklace/choker so he can wear it all the time and it's all delicate. I'm just imagining them all at the club or whatever, I think Kim deserves to hook his fingers in Kenta's collar while they're sitting drinking and pull him in until he's practically in Kim's lap. or maybe dancing and Kim tugs Dean's shirt down to show off his neck and Kim's claim.

IT WAS SO GOOD as you could probably tell by the insane comment I left. Dean has NO POKER FACE WHATSOEVER he's so easy to read!! how did he get away with any crimes!

the bad guy mv….DELIGHTFUL. even if it was just singing and dancing I love it with every part of my heart.

we keep putting Dean in this situations because he's….so pretty when he cries and is all emotional. BUT LIKE. Kim's not even stopping anything with Dean! in my head he's not even really starting anything with kenta, he's just being supportive and helping the guy integrate into society like a functioning human being. but of course nobody can use their words. Dean alwasy goes from 0-100 INSTANTLY. "It’s physically impossible to be jealous of Winner" LMAOOO. so true. askjfh PAINNNN. Dean definitely thinks he wants possessiveness - I think that's why the polycule works because Kim does offer protectiveness but I think both Winner and Kenat go for possessiveness. Winner because they're HIS things. and Kenta because he's had so little and can't lose any more. Kim is like. "unhealthy! but also…kinda hot." sometimes you just want a dude to go a little bit feral over you. okay.

!!! SEND HEAT RELATED THOUGHTS IMMEDIATELY. we should also talk about designations. I think in the show they're all just. not alphas. but personally I cannot write Winner as anything but an alpha. I tend to go for the other three as betas except for the fics I started early in the show with Kenta as an alpha lol. and I just started messing about with a sci fi au where perhaps Kim's suppressant chip malfunctions and it turns out he's not a beta and now he's about to go into heat in a very cramped ship... but I'm pretty sure I can be convinced any way for these four lol.

[biblicallyaccuratevirgo]

Hiiii it's me. Mildred. That Bitch that everyone wishes would go away. Since I foolishly tried to level with @moonsheen via email about how absolutely fucking poisonous and toxic @artofchira is, I'm realizing that it's time for the gloves to come off. After all, how can you expect to reason with an abuser and their enabler?

Anyway, I've been missing for the last few years because I've been in an abusive relationship! Wow! Surprise! And what do they have to do with it? Well. When @artofchira and I were "friends" (if you can even call it that), rather than help me figure out the gravity of the situation that I was in, she decided that it was best to gaslight me, manipulate me and even ENCOURAGE me to try and make things work with my rapist! Can you believe??? The person who has been mentoring so many artists could be this vile??? Absolutely UNBELIEVABLE!

ANYWAY, over the last year specifically, I've been trying to get my shit together. It turns out that after being raped, beaten and mentally/emotionally abused for a few years with absolutely no where to turn to, it can be hard to piece together your own personal experience and narrative - ESPECIALLY after the few people you trust (especially @artofchira ) decide to make it into a situation where responsibility should be shared between BOTH parties, even when one of you desperately wants things to end and you are trying really fucking hard to figure out how to leave.

Since @artofchira decided that the blame for my abusive relationship should be shared, it feels only fair that the same should be done for both her and @moonsheen ! Someone who has been working with her FOR YEARS through @littlefoolery and who 100% knows exactly the kind of toxic abusive shit @artofchira is up to on the regular. But WHY would she be okay with this? Well it's because @artofchira specifically targets her competitors! Wow! Amazing! Can you believe????

So rather than try and call an end to their toxic dynamic, @moonsheen has decided that it's within her best interest to ignore literally everything happening because she does, after all, benefit from @artofchira 's abusive behavior.

Now what? Idk. I'm about to be evicted because my abusive rapist piece of shit ex decided to run off with two months of rent RIGHT AS I WAS STARING TO GET MY SHIT TOGETHER. Something I'm sure @artofchira was hoping would happen because putting me in such a dire situation would mean that I'd never be able to bounce back ever again!

If I don't expect anything then why am I doing this? Because I fucking can, that's why. Unlike @artofchira that's on a fucking short leash held by @moonsheen, if I'm in a situation that I decide I need to do something about it, I dont need to ask anyones FUCKING PERMISSION BECAUSE IM NOT THEIR GLORIFIED FUCKING ATTACK DOG.

At this point considering what I'm facing, it'd be stupid as fuck for me to just take it all sitting. I let myself take hits for years. Did they really think that the moment I got the chance, I wouldn't come swinging?

Anyway. @artofchira is a dirty fucking poisonous coward who can only fight dirty because they know they're always in the wrong. They have to go out of their way to do whatever to fucking win because they're so fucking pathetic that they can't handle a fair fucking fight.

SO LET'S GO @artofchira ! I KNOW you were hoping I'd come back at a more opportune time so you could... What... Use this fight to get attention for @littlefoolery ? Use it as an opportunity to get attention for your shitty storyboarding project Gaze an Eagle Blind (which btw what kind of name is that you pretentious fucks lmfao)? You wanted to take a lesson out of my own personal book but here are the differences between me and you:

I never manufactured fights and fallouts to line my own fucking pockets. If I'm going to go toe to toe with someone, it's because I witnessed something I couldn't stand by, not because I'm a passive aggressive little bitch who needs everyone to stroke my fucking ego and tell me how smart and special I am.

I never used fights to bolster my own work. If it happened to happen by chance then so fucking be it but there's a reason why I deleted my old twitter account and it's because I couldn't make peace with the fact that the work that I LOVE was being mixed up with my unfiltered and unregulated anger.

I'm not a punk ass bitch like you LMFAO

I'm the person you wish you were. I'm the confidence and vibe you struggle to embody every single day of your life. You put up a front but you're still the little kid who never got over someone ripping up their picture in FUCKING GRADE SCHOOL and decided to use that as a reason to walk through this world with a fucking chip on your shoulder.

Do you know how many times people made fun of my work? Do you know how many times I had my work get ripped up? Ridiculed? Criticized? Degraded? No. You don't. Because I don't make it a part of my personal identity to have everyone validate every single time someone said I wasn't good enough.

You narcissistic shit who walks through life like a god but you're nothing without your believers. What would you do if Alex decided to fuck off? Leave you behind? What's your plan B in life, Jayd? Do you even have one?

Anyway. I'm sure I'll have more to say later but that's all for now. But for good measure, let me do some tagging because I know your go to is to block and run lmfao

@secondlina

@hiveworks

@savvyliterate

@sloaneshutup

@cartoonistcoop

@ironcircuscomics

@shoomlah

@genuerevuelta

@tanekastotts

@pallisia

@trungles

@jubyart

@pepurika

@zackmorrisonart

@oliveoilcorp

@bluedelliquanti

@jovaline

@oxboxer

@evegwood

@superposeblog

@quindriepress

@saint-vagrant

@heyshivana

@pepurika

@abellehayford

@spacerocketbunny

@kelmcdonald

@melgillman

@itsnilah

@mishacakes

@aluhnim

@sephiramy

And no I'm not tagging you guys because I expect you to do anything. In fact, I have a massive grudge against a lot of you LMFAO I just figure if I'm going to come for someone's head then I might as well have an audience :)

[thisheademptyyeet]

🫵YOU. Tell me about your furry ocs neow

Oh boi, bet. cracks knuckles

I had like two sets of ocs but since I know which ones sparked curiosity on you, I'll talk about the second set, perhaps I'll talk about the first one soon.

Anyways to give some context, when I was like 15/16 years old (beware of the cringe), I had like a project that I wanted to do after I gave up from the first one. The project was a comic called "Blood Moon".

I never got finish it and I don't have any pages because I wanted to have the story all figured out before starting.

The "story" was about an universe were anthropomorphic animals and humans exist together, the humans (as always) are pieces of shit and didn't liked the furries so there was wars, slavery, torture and shit.

At some point it all ended and they live in 'harmony', except that some people still tortured and slaved the furries illegally. Now we have to know about how there's furries both in the city and in the forest, in the city they all live with the humans, have jobs etc.

In the forest there's villages and they're all of single species, like, bears only, wolves only, lmao.

The main focus is a village of wolves, in which Ares and his wife Star are the leaders of said village.

And they had a baby called Luna, a small wolf cub. So cute :[.

Also there will be some design changes through the post since I don't have much drawings to illustrate them. I will point out everytime a different design appears.

Anyways, shit goes down when a group of humans invaded the village and commited genocide and stole cubs, including Luna. They took her to a hidden cabin in which they tortured and sell furries as slaves. (I'm starting to realize how edgy and fucked up this story is, what the fuck... anyways.)

Luna ends up being sold for a man and he "raises" her as some guard dog in which he uses to intimidate and kill people who owe money for him. She grows up and yada yada yada, until one day he tested her limits and she ripped his head off :].

Now, she's a huge ass 1,93 cm tall buff wolf with no one to control her ass (this is why you never mistreat your puppies, they might kick your ass sooner or later/hj).

At some point of the story she runs off to the forest and oh my god what an inconvenience, she found an wolf village! And what another great inconvenience, she also found her parents!!! :0

I forgot to mention but they didn't died in the genocide, they managed to escape and runned off to another area to live, so yeah, these bitches are alive.

And they now have four more kids that they didn't lose, I could explain how they found out that they're all really related since Luna is a lost child, how she reacts about her parents having other kids after she got kidnapped and other stuff about the lore. But honestly, this post is way too long and I dislike this story so I can't stand writing more shit about it LMFAO.

Tho I will say that I erased all of this bullshit and now they all live normally, no more drama. They're happy now and live in a farm.

Also have some memes:

[feistyvirghoe]

we live in such a bizarre world, too many superficial bots running around yapping 💀 i never understood making fun of ppl for wearing their clothes more than once, lmfao like what is this, even for wealthy ass flashy people too like what’s the point? what do they do w their clothes…and it’s all to keep up appearances, BUT WHO FUCKING CARES THAT FUCKING MUCH GO TOUCH SOME FUCKING GRASS AND PET A DAMN DOG! the glamorization of it all is disturbing…and it’s even more DISTURBING! seeing people defend these “celebrities” (who are normal people just like us) as if that’s their BFF, LIKE BITCH THEY DO NOT GAF ABOUT YOU 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #121

What’s the most recent album you’ve been really into? Last year Rammstein released Zeit and it took over my life rip in absolute fucking pieces

Where did you go the last time you were on an airplane? Home from visiting Sara in Illinois.

Do you know anyone who has autism? Multiple people.

Do you have a cat? I sure do, he's my baby.

Do you enjoy riding carousels? I did, when I could actually go on them. Not saying adults can't if it can hold their weight, but yeah I would NEVER be allowed on one lmao and my legs couldn't get me up there anyway.

Do you like elephants? Yes, they're absolutely amazing animals.

Do you know anyone named Emily? I used to. I would still like to, but she understandably left my life when I was a bigoted, ignorant, close-minded teenager.

Do you know anyone who can speak French? Not fluently. My mom apparently took it in school though and she still knows a few words, but that's it.

Do you prefer gold or silver jewelry? Silver.

What was the last flavor of ice cream you ate? Uh, I think it was chocolate at my niece's bday party in February?

Do you use Instagram often? I don't post a lot, but I scroll through my personal one every day.

Have you ever had key lime pie? Yes, and I hated it.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Yes. Semi-recently I had a super old friend from like, the end of middle school announce she was having her second child, another boy. A woman I took pictures for a lot is expecting her daughter real soon, too.

Do you have a Pinterest account? Yes.

What is one question you don’t like being asked? My weight and my employment situation.

Who is someone you know who is talkative? My nephew lmao

Have you ever read the Warriors series? bitch I was OBSESSED

Do you prefer skimpy bathing suits or modest ones? For me, I'm covering up as much as I can. If I LIKED my body, I'd maybe be fine again in a bikini, and people can rock revealing clothing of whatever sort all they want, but I'm too self-conscious for that, really.

Do you like the sounds of cicadas in the summer? Okay so the noise itself doesn't bother me at all, I quite like nature sounds, however I associate the noise with when it's way too fucking hot so I have a negative association with it, haha.

Have you ever taken your dog swimming? No, no dog we've ever had... I think. I don't recall ever seeing if a dog we've owned wanted to come in the pool with us. I do know Teddy and Cali (or maybe Dale? idr) got loose outside a couple times when we lived in the woods, and not all too far from our house across the cotton fields was a pond; they'd run over there and would at least wade in the banks. I wouldn't be surprised if Cali truly swam some haha, but I don't remember. Man, I miss those dogs.

Do you drink iced coffee? I don't drink any sort of coffee.

What do you buy most often at a gas station convenience store? A soda.

Favorite food at a cookout? Either burgers or hotdogs. In general I prefer burgers, but I don't like angus beef and sometimes the people who make them use white cheese, which I also don't like, and in those cases I'll do a hotdog instead. OH THIS REMINDS ME WITH HOW I ANSWERED, story about my mom when she moved from NY to NC: she came here used to "cookouts" meaning things like burgers and hotdogs, and the first time she went to one here in the South, she was dumbfounded to find a full fucking pig in the cooker lmfao. I'm not a fan of Southern-style cookouts like these, with pulled pork barbecue and shit.

Most hated food at a cookout? ^ oh, the aforementioned pulled pork. It's just so gross to me, taste-wise and texture-wise. Honestly I will eat almost absolutely nothing at a Southern-styled cookout because I genuinely loathe everything.

You and your SO’s dream vacation? Haha Girt actually doesn't really like vacations, he is such a homebody. We touched on this topic in this fun couples book we have, and I remember him saying he thinks he'd have the most fun at like, historical landmarks, which I'd also love to visit.

Do you go on family vacations? No.

Do you know anyone who legitimately is mentally ill? Yes? You're either mentally ill or you're not. I'm hoping by the use of "legitimately" (still a bad usage though honestly) you mean like, more on the severe end of mentally ill, in which case I think so. Girt's mother suffers with schizophrenia and has been hospitalized in the past for her mental wellbeing, but I don't know how regularly this happened/the last time it did, and she still deals with what's absolutely trauma over her husband dying super fucking suddenly. I don't ask Girt many questions about her mental health because I mean it's not my business and I also don't like making him talk about a topic that ties so heavily into his dad being gone. I just know enough to know she's been through a lot and still struggles.

Right now, would you rather be single or in a relationship? I have zero interest in leaving Girt, so in a relationship.

Boyfriend’s mom asks you to go to church with their family, do you go? Christ this might actually happen one day with how religious Shelia is, but my answer would be no, even if I'd be uncomfortable telling her that. I will never, ever, ever, ever give a church my service. Call it an overreaction, I just have so much hatred built up towards religion because of my own history with it from immediate childhood up through very early adulthood. It was full of nothing but crises of self, denial of my own sexuality, becoming a total shit asshole who couldn't accept people different from her... There's just so much pain and remorse that religion has caused me.

Do you say “love you” to any of your friends (not boyfriend)? Yeah, of course. I am so heavy on expressing platonic love.

Is your SO comfortable around your parents? I know he is around Mom, and I mean, I think he is around Dad. They barely ever, ever see each other, though, so have had few chances to interact since my parents split; he did come over when we were teenagers before the divorce, but that was SO many years ago.

How did you meet your newest friend? She was one of Girt's gaming buds and she learned that we both held a colossal adoration for Silent Hill 2 so she wanted to talk to me, haha. I was really super shy about it at first, but finally decided I needed to actually welcome when new, friendly people want to talk to me so reached out to her. She's lovely.

Have you ever been talked into doing something really uncomfortable? Maybe, I don't remember.

What do you lie about liking? Nothing, that's an awful idea.

What do you lie about DISliking? I also don't think there's anything.

Have you ever lied about something sexual you did or didn't do? No.

What states have you been to in the past year? I haven't left NC in that timeframe.

What year was your house built? I don't know the exact year, but Mom mentioned literally today in a conversation with my physical therapist that this house was built shortly after Hurricane Floyd, which happened in 1999.

Where were you the last time you kissed someone? My bed.

Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? Yeah, vulture culture art-type stuff.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? A meal replacement shake that I regularly have.

What is the last song you listened to in a car? It was Rammstein's "Armee der Tristen" this morning.

Do you know anyone who is terrified of dogs? I don’t think so.

What’s something that excites you about the future? The feeling that I'm going to get to spend it with Girt.

Are you going to be getting any new pets soon? Very unlikely.

Would you rather be a panda or grizzly bear? I think grizzly bear. They impress me more and their lives seem more interesting.

Do you like BBQ sauce? No, I actually hate it.

What were you doing at 9 AM this morning? I was at PT.

Do you hang out with your sibling's friends? No.

Do you like to eat cornbread? No, it's gross imo.

When was the last time you saw a deer? Been a long time, idk.

Do you eat turkey on Thanksgiving? No, turkey is just so dry and bland to me. I go for the ham.

Baked macaroni and cheese or regular? Regular, I don't like the texture of baked. I feel like I have put my pickiness with food in the spotlight throughout this survey lmao

Name one of your friends' children: Persephone. CHAMPION parents for picking that name, haha.

What was the name of your 5th grade teacher? Mrs. Whitley, who also taught me in the 2nd grade. It's insane, now her very own daughter, a bit younger than me, is another teacher in the same school literally down the hall from her. She's retiring this year and I'm hoping to visit her one day during like, a school workday or something, because she was my favorite teacher that I've ever had and I want to see her before she leaves. Will almost CERTAINLY cry lmao. No other teacher was more like a mom to me, I love her so much.

Have you ever been to a casino? No, and I don't want to go to one. It's not an environment I want to be in.

Who wrote the last book you read? Tui T. Sutherland.

What’s the middle name of your best friend? He doesn't have one, I'm assuming because he's already a junior. His sister has one, so it's not like his parents were against middle names.

Who in your family has a birthday in January? Off the very top of my head, I don't know anyone. I was supposed to be born in January, but I wasn't coming out for ANYTHING lmao, Mom had to be induced.

What’s your favorite flower? Orchids if we're talking just any flower in any color, but I also really like pink tulips.

Do you use any food delivery services such as UberEats, DoorDash, etc? No, that's not extra money we're willing to spend.

How far away is the closest Walmart? It's barely even like, two minutes from here.

Chick-fil-A, Taco Bell or McDonald’s? I feel like the whole of the world will crucify me for this, but I genuinely really like McDonald's lmfao

Do you know the capital of your state? Well yeah, Raleigh.

When’s the last time you ate any type of sweet? I had some Sour Patch yesterday, actually.

Pizza rolls or bagel bites? The former, I've never liked bagel bites all that much.

What kind of flooring is in the room you’re in? Carpet.

What’s your favorite scent? Cinnamon rolls, fresh baked bread, other baked goods, coffee, lilacs, yada yada.

What kind of pets does your grandmother have? My maternal grandmother had an insanely intelligent maltese named CC for a super long time; his passing was devastating for her. I'm pretty sure that's all that she had; she was insanely allergic to cats and most dogs, so she could only have hypoallergenic dogs. As much as I did NOT like that woman, it's a comforting thought that she really didn't have to live that many years without him. Now I have absolutely zero idea what pets Dad's mom had.

What’s the last show you really got into that you have to wait for the next season of? Extraordinary Attorney Woo!!! Fucking wonderful show that just made my heart SO damn warm, but Season 2 isn't coming for a while.

Have you ever witnessed a car accident? Yes; technically we were supposed to pull over, being witnesses, but the amount of traffic and also being on a highway made it impossible.

Sprinkles or frosting? Frosting, I hate sprinkles on literally anything.

Do you like mushrooms? Visually, absolutely. As food, hell no.

How old is your youngest sibling? She's going to be 25 in less than two weeks, EW.

Have you ever been swimming with dolphins? No, but I'd like to one day. Before meerkats, they were my favorite animal, and I still love them... even if they can be literal assholes haha.

What’s the last thing you ordered from a Mexican restaurant? I get the same thing everywhere: shrimp and cheese quesadilla with a side of cheesy rice. FUCK my period is due and I have been so insanely hungry leading up to it and now all I want is this. 😭

Do you carry a purse or a backpack? A purse.

What kind of soda is your favorite? Mountain Dew Voltage and strawberry Sunkist. I almost positively never drink the latter though because I will drink that shit so absurdly fast that I just don't let myself have it.

Have you ever cut yourself shaving? Oh for sure, on my legs anyway. I don't miss that shit.

What’s your Chick-fil-A order? I will literally only eat at Chick-fil-A if the people I'm with decide to go there, and it'd be an inconvenience to get me something elsewhere, and in that case I'll just always get a regular chicken sandwich with fries.

Regular or pink lemonade? Pink, but both are great.

Do you know anyone who’s lost their house in a natural disaster? In middle school, a classmate's house burned down.

Pizza or nacho Lunchables? Oh, the nachos one reigned SUPREME. I'd eat the pizza one, but it was so underwhelming.

Have you ever been inside of a courtroom? Yes.

Did you ever participate in any pageants when you were younger? Hell fucking no.

What kind of cheese is your favorite? American.

Have you ever had a professional massage? No, don't want one; that seems way too fuckin awkward for me.

What’s your Panera Bread order? I haven't tried that much from there, but what I've had hasn't impressed me? The bread is too hard and the taste is nothing special.

Who in your family has a birthday in April? My aforementioned younger sister Nicole as well as my brother Bobby. His bday is actually Earth Day.

Have you ever had your nails done professionally? Yeah, a few times Colleen would have me tag along to a salon she liked just to hang out and chat. I remember doing it once with my sisters, too.

What color Christmas tree do you use? Green... but when I move out I plan on getting a black one.

Have you ever been published in a magazine? At my last college, I became the school newspaper's official photographer, and there was one play I shot that they loved so much they dedicated multiple full pages to some pictures I took, and of course I was credited. ;_; That was one of the most exciting moments of my entire life, and it was prooooobably a career-building opportunity that I threw away by dropping out...

Is anyone in your family in law enforcement? No.

[sevensugarpines]

cib holding two puppies hostage

[rigginsstreet]

.

[katsukikitten]

Thinking about Raichi missing a penalty during a friendly match and taking his frustrations out on you in the locker room after👀

JO 🥴🥴🥴🥴 Jo lmfao this got long so 😂 it's got a read more. I hope you like it.

Raichi slamming his locker closed and then his fist into the door. Bending it at an angle that now the metal will refuse to open again. Growling as he lets his failure replay in his head as the ball bounces off the side bar and out of bounds. It may have just been a preseason friendly but a failure was still a failure and Raichi didn't claw his way up the pro team rankings just to be a dog shit player.

He sends another hit into the innocent locker door.

Sweat still fresh as it drips from his brow and everyone is quick to leave the locker room least they be the new focus of Raichi's ire.

Kunigami makes his way to the manager's office only finding you, the young assistant. Young for this league anyway, most managers and AMs were old men well past their prime, so to have a woman in the mix really made the men competitive for your attention. He leans against the door jamb, taking the rare opportunity to observe you in peace. Everyone fighting for your attention, your soft and stern praise, it was no wonder the team stood second overall in last seasons J1 league. Standing so cutely in your ladies suit, tight blazer discarded leaving you in a white blouse tucked into form fitting pencil skirt that made everyone swallow thickly.

Just like Kunigami did now, as he wets his lips to speak you beat him to it. Smile blossoming on your face as you look up from your clip board.

"Great goal today Gami!" Such a pretty sound. All he can do is smile before the sound of metal crunching echos in the locker room. You furrow your eyebrows as the tall man sighs.

"Raichi is at it again." Kunigami explains and then he chuckles when he sees your pretty smile quickly turn into a frown at the mention of your least favorite player.

"He'll run up the damn budget again." You hiss to yourself, tossing the clip board onto the desk you were leaning against before you push away to sort that dickhead's shit out, "Thank you Kunigami-kun. I'll see you tomorrow."

Dismissing him and yourself before you slip into the changing area of the locker room. Heels clacking on the cool tile making Raichi's ears perk.

Fuck, of course you'd still be here. Great now he'd have to hear your pretty little mouth berate him, again, everyone else was worth of praise on this damn team even if they didn't fuckin deserve it. Especially that Kunigami who could only make sweaty goals or 90th minute cheese.

Making it by the skin of his fucking teeth but Raichi had to give it to him, a goal was a fuckin goal.

"Raichi." Your voice thick, and if it could the air would frost when you spoke. The platinum blonde hated the way you said his name. As if spitting it onto the ground like an insult and you only did that to him. Drove him mad that he even fuckin cared how your pretty lips formed the syllables of his name and what tone you used.

Unkind, mean, even now as you lecture him. On and on and on. Dressed up like a good little manager even for a meaningless friendly game. Raichi thought it was stupid how you got all done up, the team drooling as you gave the encouraging words before the match. Eyes soft and bright until they landed on him, the two of you had shared a snarl.

He's distracted by the color of your lips, how it compliments your skin and all he can think about his how your lipstick would look making rings around his cock. How the buttons on your expensive blouse threaten to pop open especially so when you cross your arms beneath them, how your heel taps with your agitation. Making you just tall enough he wouldn't have to hunch over to kiss you. Vein thick in his throat and forehead as he hears you bitch and moan when all he wants is for you to

"Shut the fuck up!"

It echos around the room, reverberating off of the tiled walls amplifying his frustrations. Making the tension as obvious as the sweat that drips down the nape of his neck. Hair damp from exertion, jersey and shorts clinging to his tacky skin and in his 23 years of playing soccer Raichi's heart had never raced faster than what it did now.

He cuts you off before you can speak, caging you against warped door of his locker, sadistic sharp smile on his lips.

"Finally." He growls, leaning to get closer into your face, "All you do is yap yap yap like you've got no fucking sense, praising these losers like they're actually somebody."

Raichi drags his thumb across your lip, smearing you lipstick against the rough pad, "But what does little miss bitch give me?"

When you answer him with a snarl he snorts. Hates how much he likes your cute face contorted in such a mean snarl.

And it's all for him. Only him

What other faces could you make just for him?

"A hard time." He presses his hard on into your thigh catching you off guard. Your cheeks heat, face dropping the snarl and taking on shock. You look cute like this, small beneath him. This close you can smell him, smell the sun and the grass that lingers on his skin. His natural salty musk that mixes wonderfully with his sliced deodorant. Smells so good it makes your lower stomach molten.

"Why do you get all dolled up? Not like anyone takes your coachin seriously. They only take your advice cause they like how your ass looks in this damn skirt." He pulls at the fabric, bringing it up your thick thighs and his eye lids become lead when he brings it to your natural waist. Exposing the thong you wore beneath. Hooded as he licks his lips watching the realization wash over you.

"Staring at your fat tits when they should be staring at the board." He pops the straining buttons on your shirt, exposing the tops breasts that spill out over the cups of a lacy nude bra. He palms them in his large hands and when your brows furrow up.

"R-Raichi..." He takes his large hand and overs your mouth, squeezing your cheeks tightly as that crazed haze he gets on the field clouds his eyes.

"I'm not don't talkin, sweetheart." He growls, "But don't worry, you'll have your turn to moan soon."

He lets his hands roam down your sides, grabbing at the fat of your hips and thighs before he takes handfuls of your ass into his thick palms causing you to whimper. Rubbing your thighs in a desperate attempt for relief as this powerful man has his way with you.

"Ya always got some sort of praise for that stupid fuckin carrot top but not a word for me." He makes emphasis of his frustrations by pulling at your nipples through the thin lace of the bra. Watching you arch your back into his touch making a cruel smile form on his lips, "I'm about to make ya wish those pretty lips only ever said kind things about me."

His sharp teeth find the juncture of your throat and shoulder before his fingers slip between your thighs. Groaning against your skin when he feels the wetness of your arousal dampening the fabric covering your pretty mound. Harshly he presses through the fabric to find your fluttering hole and the small squelching that answers him fully awakens the demon in him.

"Wet like a bitch in heat." Thick fingers make quick work of moving the fabric to the side so that he can dive them into your greedy cunt. Angling them to press against that spongy spot as if he knew exactly where yours was. Thrusting his fingers into you so hard you see stars. Knees weakening as the sound of your sloppy pussy lingers in the air. Desperate gasps and moans as you try to steady yourself by digging your manicured nails into his broad shoulders. He presses kisses and nips to your throat, pressing his mouth against yours harshly but it doesn't feel harsh enough even as your teeth gnash with his, tongues sliding over the other.

The coil in your stomach tightens, threatens to snap and just as you're about to clamp down and grind into Raichi's thick digits he pulls them away with a lewd pop. Laughing in your face.

"Did you think I was just gonna let you cum and soak my wrist?" He chuckles again before his voice goes dark, "Ya gotta earn it."

He pulls his match shorts and boxers down, freeing his aching cock and you gasp. Knowing it was big from the not so subtle outline of his white training shorts but seeing it now with the angry red tip leaking pre made your head spin. He pushes your underwear fully to the side as he runs the head of his cock through your wet slit. From your fluttering hole and tapping at your neglected clit just to watch you jolt. Over and over until frustrated tears welled in your eyes.

"Please." It so quiet and surprising that both of your eyes widen before his darken.

"Ya want mean ol Raichi to stuff you? Ya'd liked that wouldn't yea?" You give a small nod and he's crowding your face again, "Then praise me."

"You've got ex-excellent foot work." He chuckles at your weak response. Giving your cheek a playful slap of his fingers soaked in your arousal.

"Not that sweetheart." You're suddenly meek as your mouth opens in a moan when he presses the tip gently into your cunt.

"I-I- you're the best kisser I've ever had Raichi!" You moan his name when he gives another inch. His large hand steadying you by your ribs as your knees give away. He pulls your long leg to wrap around his waist, bullying his way in another inch. He's so large, even just a bit of him stretches you forcefully making your head swim with pleasure.

"The biggest t-too." You feel so stupid for stammering when normally your voice was steady, unwaivering. It had to be when you worked with a bunch of egotistical men that only thought with their cocks. But Raichi must like the praise as he pushes all of himself into you with one swift thrust.

"RAICHI!" The coil snapping suddenly, unexpectedly as you pant to catch your breath.

"That's all it takes to make this angel cunt cream for me huh?" He gives another rut and another loving how your pussy is trying to milk him already. Watching you twitch beneath him as your mascara starts to fall down your cheeks before he sets a rough, unforgiving pace. Fucking into you with reckless abandon and with each pull of your cunt begging for him to stay buried deep inside he forgets he ever fucked up his hat trick in the match.

Mingled breath making the room humid and your skin stick to his. But for once you didn't hate it, didn't hate him as he demanded more praise and rewarded you with a thumb to your clit. Making you see stars as you cried out for him. Banging your head back into the locker door from how hard he makes you cum, toes curling in your red bottom heels.

Screaming his name as he grunted in your ear, thrusts turning sloppy until he groans. Long, loud and deep, a sound you prayed you would remember as hot ropes of white painted your sticky walls.

Would maybe hear again.

Giving a few half hearted thrusts before he's nipping at the lob of your ear whispering the softest of praise.

"That's it, took me so well, such a good girl letting me stuff you full." Gentle kisses on your throat as the two of you cling to the other. He pulls away, silently checking that you're alright before he leans over to press his lips against the bruises he left once more, not bothering to withdraw his spent cock. Which you were thankful for, not ready to give him the contact from the hottest player on the team just yet.

Your eyes unfocus on Raichi's handsome face to a figure just over his shoulder before your eyes go wide.

"Wow, ya gotta fuck the manager assistant in order to get any sort of praise huh?" Kunigami's deep voice sends a shiver down your spine as Raichi adjusts to shield you from the other man's prying eyes.

"Fuck you. She just needed a little relief after having to watch over you losers fumble on the pitch all day." Raichi bites over his shoulder, slowly pulling out and fixing your skirt before he stuffs himself back into his pants. Still keeping you hidden. Kunigami sucks his teeth in agitation.

"Yea, sure." He rolls his eyes, stepping closer until he's looking over Raichi's shoulder to see your beautiful fucked out face before growling in warning.

"But who said you could hog her all to yourself?"

[miekasa]

do you have any cute (or h-word) bf headcanons for the Aot boys mie?

Of course I do, I have an ever-expanding list of headcanons for all of them, from how they react to you sitting in the backseat when they pick you up, down to whether or not they would rip your bandages off after your get a shot (spoiler: Eren, Porco, and Levi fucking would)

EREN sfw

He really likes holding hands, though it’s more of a calming habit for him. Holding hands keeps him grounded, and acts as an anchor for his anxiety; so he’ll grab and/or fidget with yours periodically.

He’ll steal your skincare if he’s over at your place, but honestly he just starts… copying it lmfao. Like, he’ll take notice of your face wash when he’s over he’s like “Oh, this is nice” and then a week later, he buys a bottle for himself. Then he buys your toner, and your moisturizer, and you stay over at his place and gotta do a double take bc he’s got damn near the same of everything at this point.

He doesn’t know if he believes that classical music actually helps him to concentrate, but he does know that he’s grown to like it, so it’s become his studying music of choice. He’s got favorite composers and everything.

He’d be upset if you didn’t steal his hoodies. That’s what they’re there for. He’ll make you steal them if he has to.

He hates standing in line. For anything. If he likes a restaurant that gets super busy at lunch, he’ll order ahead for pickup (and he feels special skipping the line). At amusement parks, he pays for the fast passes. If it’s shopping, then he’d rather just do it online.

On that note, he sucks at returning things that don’t fit/he doesn’t like when he shops online, so he honestly just keeps them, or gives them to his friends—it’s much easier than going through the hassle of printing a return label, according to him.

nsfw

He likes the idea of recording you guys during sex, but he’s honestly a little too nervous to do it—nervous about being recorded himself, and about it potentially getting out somewhere.

Likes it when you look him in the eyes when you cum. In fact, he somewhat demands it.

Similarly, he’s always watching you during sex. Mostly your face, for indications of how he’s making you feel and when you’re close to your orgasm (which is why he’s got a thing for you looking at him).

He used to hate masturbating, until he tried masturbating to the idea of you, and now he fucking loves that. He takes his time with it too—if he’s gonna jack off, he’s gonna make a moment of it: sit on his bed, turn the lights off, make sure he’s all alone and can go for as long as he wants.

Threesomes are fine with him, and he doesn’t even have to be the sole one in charge, depending on who’s joining you.

ARMIN sfw

He air-dries the majority of his clothes because he doesn’t want his sweaters and knitwear to shrink. Also, he likes the smell of his fabric softener permeating the room while the clothes dry.

On a similar note, he’s got sensitive skin—not to the point where a shirt less than 75% cotton irritates him; but he is conscious of fabrics and products he uses. Because of this, he takes extra care with his laundry, his pillowcases and bedsheets are satin as are the majority of his pajama shirts, and he never ever walks around without house slippers or he’ll irritate the bottom of his feet.

He’s scared of bugs, but he doesn’t like to kill them either. Honestly, he just kinda hopes spiders and stuff will crawl away without him intervening 😭😭

He likes board games, and has a thing for The Game of Life. He cannot play chess, even though most people would guess that he could, and he’s begun to practice by playing online versions against computers to learn.

He knows everyone’s gossip because everyone comes to him to gossip. And if he’s the therapist friend, then you’re the person who receives the summary of all the tea from him at the end of the week. And man can this boy throw a bitch fest when he’s in the right mood.

nsfw

He’s got a bit of an oral fixation, so he really likes having your mouth occupied; with his fingers, with your panties, with his dick—he’s not really picky.

Likes sex with the lights on. Claims it’s because he wants to “see all of you” (it’s really because he’s nervous he’ll fuck something up if he can’t see properly 😭😭)

He really likes making out. Like, a lot. Though it’s not something that happens often—so he builds up a lot of frustrating thinking about it, and it all comes crashing down, and ends up with you guys damn near dry humping each other on the couch for two hours.

That’s something that applies to him generally, too—he tends to let himself get very frustrated and worked up, whether he means to or not. He also thinks about sex quite frequently, and it only fuels his frustration; so when he snaps, he snaps hard.

He’d let you choke him back if you asked. Just ask nicely.

JEAN sfw

Loves studying in cafés and adores when you study with him; peeps up at you periodically when you sit across from him. He always pays for your drink, but sometimes you guys share, and he likes making a game out of reaching for the cup at the same time as you.

He’s very chivalrous, but he hates when you call him out for it, or make any kind of deal of it. He knows it’s chivalry, but he also knows it’s the bare minimum, plus he’s easily embarrassed—especially in public.

Loves having his hair played with, absolutely adores it. If you’re just holding his face, or resting your hand on his cheek, he’ll move himself further into your touch to maneuver your palm closer to his hair.

He really really really likes back hugs—giving and receiving them. If he’s standing behind you, he’ll most likely reach for a hug at some point (sometimes he won’t let go and you’ve gotta waddle with him on you). His ears get red when you give him a back hug but he always uses a hand to rest over your arms to tell you that he doesn’t want you to let go.

He can play the piano, but he doesn’t tell a soul about it. The only reason you found out it through his mom. He’s got stage fright, so he gave up on performing, but he’s really talented, and can almost play any song by ear.

nsfw

He loves the feeling of your hands on him, particularly if you’ve got long nails. Please scrape your nails against his back, or even just dig them into his biceps while he’s fucking you, it’ll drive him insane.

Along with liking having his hair played with, he adores having it pulled on—the attention and desperation in your actions goes straight to his ego and his dick.

One of his biggest fantasies is getting a lap dance from you. He’d never ever fucking say it out loud or dream of asking for it, but the idea of you stripping in front of him, down to lingerie he’d picked out for you, and teasing him until he can’t take it anymore and jumps you is something he thinks about… far more often than he should.

If you’re wearing his clothes (especially one of his t-shirts to bed, or around his apartment), he’s gonna fuck you in it. Jean has a lot of self control, but that’s one thing that’ll make him snap in an instant. And if you wear his shirt or hoodie out, he’s fucking you when you get home, it’s as simple as that.

CONNIE sfw

He studies with children’s shows playing the background. He doesn’t remember how he discovered that his method works for him, all he knows is that something about Paw Patrol makes for excellent background noise for writing his research papers.

He’s quite touchy with PDA, but if you guys are in a crowd then forget about it—because Connie might forget about you. He’s definitely left you at the grocery store before.

He eats cereal for breakfast every morning, and he’s kind of got a collection of them in his kitchen. He claims there are upscale cereals that he doesn’t just let anybody eat or even touch; so, if he offers you a midnight snack consisting of a bowl of his favorite (and very rare) cereal, then be honored.

He almost always pays with cash, but he hates change. If he gets back coins, he either tells the cashier to keep them, puts them in a tip jar if there’s one in sight, or just pours them into your coat pocket. He understands that its money, but he’ll be damned if he’s just got a sack full of nickels clanging around in his bag.

nsfw

He claims he doesn’t have a thing for exhibitionism, but with the way he’s down to fuck damn near anywhere, he might be a bold faced liar. Changing rooms, music festivals, airport bathrooms, the little corner of the multilevel parking lot that he’s oh-so-certain is in the blindspot of the security cameras... there are so few things off-limits with him.

Car sex on his bucket list… just not in his car lmfao (because trust and believe that’s something that already happens pretty regularly). Maybe his real kink is vandalism and destruction of property.

He is not above begging you to sit on his face. He will get on his knees and pant like a fucking dog for you to do it, he’s so serious. He’ll do it laying down, he’ll do it with you standing up/against a wall, he’ll do it on the couch. Break his neck please he’s fucking asking for it.

He doesn’t mind sharing and he definitely doesn’t mind watching. Honestly, he’d egg you on to kiss someone else at a party, or go as far as to seduce you into seducing someone else just so he can watch it go down.

PORCO sfw

He sends you iMessage games but only the ones he’s good at because he doesn’t like to lose. But also, if he is losing, he doesn’t want you to be supportive about it and tell him “it’s okay uwu” lmfao he wants to either cream you, or have you kick his ass; competition is the name of the game, don’t be soft on him.

He’s a morning person, and he likes going on runs or even just early-morning walks when the weather is nice. He will wake you up occasionally to join him—and if you’re a homebody, you will be joining him. He won’t be responsible for watching you decompose on the couch.

Very picky about his pizza. It’s not a calorie or grease or health thing—he just really fucking likes pizza, and he won’t excuse a bad slice.

Always pulls you closer to him in a crowd or when a group of people are walking by. He doesn’t have to, but he likes to. Tease him about it and he’ll push you right back tho, probably into a shrub if there’s one near by.

nsfw

He’s such a “No, no—answer the call” kind of mf; a sadist, if you will. He lives for torturing and embarrassing you, and that applies to sex, too.

Loves the way his hands look on you, particularly splaying his hand over your stomach when he’s fucking you. Likes the heat of your body against his, when he positions himself just right to feel the outline of his dick against you, and squeezing the sides of your tummy when he gets lost in it.

Loves blowjobs, and loves to cum on you or over your face. His favorite thing tho is pulling away just before he’s about to orgasm, and jacking himself off with your tongue sticking out, ready to swallow.

Okay with threesomes, too; but he wouldn’t like to do much to or with the third person. It’s okay if they touch you—maybe even fuck you, depending on who it is—but he’s not there to get them off.

LEVI

sfw

When he cooks dinner, he always makes sure to make enough for you to have leftovers to take with you for lunch the following day. Especially if it’s a dish you’ve been wanting or try, or specifically asked him to cook.

He’s got a specific tote bag he brings with him to the grocery store/farmer’s market, and separate one for when he’s running other light errands.

He hates soda, not even just because it’s not the healthiest thing to drink—he just doesn’t like the feel of carbonated drinks; the only exception being when they’re mixed with liquor, but even then, it’s not his preference.

After a while, he just starts lying and says you’re married at places where it benefits you both, or to curb a longer conversation about the status of your relationship to people who are inquiring. He thinks it’s fucking weird that marriage is what shuts people up, but if it works, it works; less people prying in your guys’ business.

He likes giving you forehead kisses, and if you do it back, he’ll learn that he doesn’t mind receiving them either.

He’s such a sucker for you rubbing your thumb against the back of his hand when you guys hold hands. He might not act like he notices, but he always does; and somewhat craves little touches like that the longer you guys are together.

nsfw

He would never admit it to anyone, but birthday sex is up there for his favorite kind of sex. He never cared much about his birthday… until he realized he could get that as a gift. He knows it’s not different, but he likes it, nonetheless; one the few times he doesn’t mind having all the attention on him.

King of aftercare, though some of his methods usually lead to another round—in which he teases you for cancelling out his work, when you know he was just as willing and eager.

He likes edging himself and overstimulating you; and with his self-control, that makes for a pretty dangerous combination.

He’s strong and he knows how to use it to his advantage: maneuvering you with a single arm, holding both your wrists above your head with one hand, pushing your head down into the sheets when he’s fucking you from behind.

Sex is one of the few times Levi doesn’t mind making a mess—and in fact, he likes it messy; watching you drip onto the sheets, making you spit on his dick and fucking your face until you drool. He always goes on about how sloppy you are, how you can’t keep anything clean, but he fucking loves it.

[hotcat37]

Things I like/love abt Trailer park boys,,,my beloveds

-random cats and dogs showing up throughout the episodes (I love how they just exist ig? Like they're not always acknowledged but sometimes you see a character holding a random cat or petting a dog and it rlly just makes the environment feel alive)

-I love the semi recurring gag of the boys going to jail at the end of every season, and if it's not Ricky and Julian it's only one of them or another character

-the season finales are ALWAYS fcking incredible and even in the Netflix seasons I've always been entertained by the shitstorm coming together

-the little detail of Julian always tucking his shirt into his pants,, it rlly gave him even more character to me and I was sad that he didn't do it anymore later on 😣

-the sense of community in the earlier seasons like,,I absolutely love that despite how greasy the boys' scams are they still go out of their way to help other park residents and you can tell they just absolutely love everyone there

-Ricky's cool fcking jacket when he worked at that school as a janitor <3

-everyone (well except Julian sometimes lol) being friendly to Treena despite being the kid of Mr Lahey. I found it rlly sweet that she got to hang out with them and she clearly felt rlly comfortable around them

-Trinity just being absolutely unhinged as a kid but also having this rlly sweet side to her? Despite acting off the rails at first she's mellowed out quite a lot as she got older and idk I feel like that's good for her character and makes her stand out from the rest of her family

-random but I love how Julian rejects Lucy every time she comes onto him. In a lot of shows this causes conflict cuz Lucy is ofc Ricky's girlfriend and Julian is Ricky's bestie and therefore there's often some kind of strange love triangle or at least a flirty relationship going on. But you can tell how much Julian respects Ricky and he's never harsh when he rejects her, which is a rlly compelling character trait in my opinion

-Bubbles not giving a fck abt toxic masculinity and just dressing however the fuck he likes and expressing his interests openly. It's so refreshing to see a male character just unapologetically being themselves without constantly being the butt of the joke. I also love how genuine his friendship with the boys is and that they don't make fun of him or exclude him for not being as conventionally 'masculine' as they are

-Ricky and Sara's relationship in Season 2,,,I really liked them together and they had good chemistry imo

-Randy always saying frigg off!!!! instead of fuck off but still saying bitch and whatnot lmfao

-Ricky doing absolutely insane shit (rolling a massive joint, being on fire) and Julian being completely desensitized to it

-background characters actually having names and having their own personality and running gags. They make the show feel so unique and real and it wouldn't be the same without Donnie constantly screaming "WHAT IN THE FUCK!!!!" or other shit going on in the background

-the pilot in particular tbh idk it usually takes a while for me to get into shows and I didn't have any expectations going into TPB but I was immediately sucked into the story. Like the aesthetics, the mockumentary format.... The fact that Ricky and Julian are a dynamic duo right off the bat even when they're claiming they'll stay away from each other is just so compelling. Julian very clearly being the protector of the park and having so many people look up to him sets him up as such an interesting and likeable character because we feel his struggle in both wanting to do better for himself and wanting to be there for the park residents. Ricky on the flip side seems like the 'bad' one of the two but it quickly becomes clear that he's struggling just as much as the rest of them and that he feels disoriented and lonely without his best friend. The little moment when Ricky stands outside Julian's trailer in the dark, petting a cat while Julian softly says he thinks Ricky is a good guy....just *cheffs kiss*

-the whole vibe of season 7. It really stands out from the other seasons because despite it being comedic as usual and having a slow start, there's just this weird ominous sense throughout the episodes. Like it's got this creepy supernatural feel to it sometimes. Like that shot of Julian's Monte Carlo sinking slowly into the lake, with the dark sky and shit? Horrifying. Like straight up that shit creeped me out lmao I rlly wish they'd do another season with more of those ominous moments

-I don't know how to explain this one but i fcking love how the main trio looks visually? Like not just "oh yeah they're attractive" but as in, these characters are super recognizable. In some shows I often mix characters up because there's nothing particularly outstandingly abt their appearance while here they're just so diverse? Julian's drink, his beard and his usual black outfit.... Bubbles with his massive eyes n coke bottle glasses, and his blonde hair.... Ricky with his Houndstooth shirt and pompadour and sideburns.... They just look so unique and i really wish the animated series would've exaggerated their proportions and physical traits because that would've been perfect in a cartoon setting 😫

-nobody caring that Randy and Lahey are gay. Obv this show still has some issues in regards to portraying LGBT characters but I love that none of the characters ever make a big deal out of these two's relationship. They only judge them for their strange sex shenanigans lmao Like Julian accidentally walking in on them that one time. He literally didn't even flinch he just got what he came for and when he got back he was like "geez you think you know some people...." referring to the strange roleplay but other than that he seemed completely unfazed. Idk it's like weirdly comforting to see how casual everyone is abt it

-J-Roc's dialogue bring creative and funny AF. Who's The Microphone Assassin? is one of my favorite episodes purely because of that incredible rap at the end lmfao It Could Happen To You plays randomly in my head all day every day ☠☠

-every character having a greasy side to them. Like they're all complex in their own ways and in some episodes a character could act antagonistic while the next episode they might be the most sane character of the bunch. I just like that they're not one dimensional

-the quotable AF dialogue and iconic scenes. Even ppl who have never even heard of Trailer Park Boys know the legendary scene where Lahey says "Julian! :D" and then proceeds to drunkenly stumble down the stairs. I quote shit like "had a couple drinks, saw a couple things...." or "that's one fucking nice kitty right there" so much that it's become part of my regular vocabulary 🐈

-specific but characters re-wear their clothes which makes the show feel more realistic

-the camera work being somewhat realistic and not managing to stay perfectly still when the camera crew starts running lol

-the low quality of the first seasons. It gives the episodes a nostalgic vibe to it

-Ricky being the only one who can successfully trick the cops while when the other boys try it, it fails miserably

-Cory and Trevor <3 That's it. That's the point

-it doesn't really have anything to do with the show itself but I love how many pictures/promo material that aren't in the show are available. There's so many cool pictures or deleted scenes to find online

-ig this is up to personal interpretation but I think it's cute how awkward Julian is with his love interests. Like it's not very noticeable with Candy in season 1 but with Julian's other love interests he just acts a little strange because despite the romances he's had throughout the show he clearly struggles to act any different around his girlfriends lol I think it's really endearing -all 3 of the boys openly (in Bubbles case privately lmfao) finding Coolnow absolutely adorable

This is definitely not all of the things I love abt the show but it's still quite a few! This show means the world to me so after my dislikes list it would only be right to compile what I love abt TPB <3

[newtedison]

Brenda ?

for a second i forgot that i had been doing an ask game and was just gonna say "hell yeah, brother" but then i remembered LMFAO. thank you!

favorite thing about them

that she is a bitch that can't fight off her own kindness. her instinct with jorge is self-preservation and survival, but she can't fight helping the gladers, forming bonds with them, sacrificing herself and her safety for them. she seems cold but she can't fight her innate kindness. her own capacity for love. and she can still retain her personality and fierceness among the love but it's that own struggle against herself that i love exploring

least favorite thing about them

book!brenda in particular is obsessed with thomas romantically and i really hate it. both in that i hate trenda as a ship but also because consensually a lot of stuff is icky. movie!brenda would never though

favorite line

"I see you've met our guard dogs."

brOTP

ironically, trenda lmfao. romantically i hate them in every way imaginable but on a platonic level they are like soulmates to me. the parallel in the death cure of "you never know when to walk away from something even when you should" like they are that level of friendship where you can call someone out on their shit and neither party will be mad about it. they are in so many ways similar to each other but enough of their personalities differ that they can either pull the other back from the edge or encourage them when need be.

OTP

okay so i'm notably not a multishipper but i love both brenderesa and brinho in equal measure and have never been able to choose between the two. i guess brenderesa technically has leverage since i haven't written brinho yet but that's my own achilles heel to bear.

brenderesa as i said before has essentially no canon basis and exists entirely in my head. i love how messy and complicated they are. like they can be incredibly toxic to each other but god help them if they ever learn how to communicate they could flourish.

brinho has like a crumb of canon basis but that was enough for me in 2015 reading the death cure to be like O_O and i have never looked back. i've said it many times but they can make each other worse and better. i will pay someone to write a safe haven brinho fic.

nOTP

as mentioned earlier i fucking hate trenda so much. both for the weird nonconsensual stuff in the books but also because everything about it feels so forced. again this is mostly book stuff but brenda was so clearly set up as a teresa alternative and the trilogy ending with them kissing was so like ??? okay feels like a weird time for this but sure. the movies luckily dial back on this a LOT but any time they interacted in the scorch trials especially i got a weird icky feeling.

random headcanon

in modern aus she always has to be into punk music. i also usually make her into roller skating/derby. both of these are incredibly self-indulgent.

canonverse i did not make this up myself but sometimes think i dreamed it because i have never found the source. but. in the safe haven, every morning she gets up and runs, sprints, times herself. separately, minho is also running. eventually their paths meet, and they silently join each other on their runs. brenda is running because she couldn't save newt; brinho runs because it's all he's ever known.

unpopular opinion

i don't really see gallenda. like i understand the reasons but i personally can't get into it. maybe it's because i cap out at 2 ships but

song i associate with them

girl is a gun - halsey

I keep falling in love This measuring cup Is overflowing with the same damn problems

This girl is a gun Before you know it, it's done And you'll be wishing that you crossed your fingers

favorite picture of them

like. it can't be beat.

send me a character!

[f1nalboys]

this is my ‘the collector’ live post i’m gonna edit it as i go and post it once i’m done so i don’t bombard y’all

-the mfs in the beginning deserve to die bc who walks around in their pitch black house 🙄

-ew these opening credits….. maybe i just don’t like the music choice but i’m like 😡

-ok so arkin knows the family i guess? idk

-he’s so sexy i want him so bad y’all…… i would FUCK him so god damn hard y’all wouldn’t believe it

-jill shut the actual fuck up PLEASE

-arkin why don’t you come in my box 😝😝 if u get what i’m saying babe

-his wife is kinda sexy hehe

-milf and dilf powercouple

-arkinnnnnn ur a little thief but ur sexy so it’s fine

-the collecter walks like a fruit i know that bc i walk the same

-waiting for the sexy sexy scene of arkin when he gets his face grabbed by asa and he looks breedable

-damnnnn he’s fucking michael up 😭 asa ur a lil monster fr

-15-24-7 everyone remember that ok

-most fucked uo thing asas done so far is breathe in that lady’s face bc i just know his breath is rank as fuck

-not arkin searching through all of the drawers like mf he SAID the bottom one. ur wasting time

-ngl to yall id get the rock and just fuck off there’s no way i’d even try to help these folks 😐 does that make me evil….it’s just like,,,, i can’t help! at all! i’d try but id lowkey just look for a way out 😭 i’d die regardless i guess

-ok maybe id try to help instead of just leaving but idk 🙄

-NOOO THE POIR CAT STUCK IN THE ACID????? WHAT THE FUCK THIS MANS EVIL

-this yalls man fr 🤔

-NOO THE CAT GOT SLICED IN FUCKING HALF I HATE IT HERE

-arkin yelling at the lady while she’s getting tortured LMFAO

-jill avoiding all the traps cuz she’s horny JFJSJDJ

-EW THE WAY HE LIVKED HIS LIPS WATCHING JILL GET FUCKED?,, FREAKAZOID

-there’s sm nipple in this movie

-asa is such a weird little freak LMAO

-THE BEAR TRAPS??? what is wrong w him omg

-arkin just leave babe y’all could not fucking catch me here any longer than that lol

-arkin is too good i don’t give a fuck abt that little girl tbh

-not them electrocuting the wrong guy

-also how tf is asa unable to locate or kill the little girl??? mf how many people have u tortured and kidnapped at this point???????

-RUN ARKIN RUNNNNN

-HES RLLY USING TGE MFS HEAD AS A BATTERING RAM

-r these noises fucking asa screaming??

-HERES TGE SEXY SCENE IF BREEDABLE ARKIN LETS GOOOOOO

-personally i think asa has too much time in hands like how long do y’all think it took to set up all those traps??? my man needs a hobby i think

-he only takes one fr

-sorry it happened to be u sexy arkin lover babe

-IS HE PURRING

-asa furry confirmed????

-i think there r nicer ways to wake him up rather than cutting his forehead asa

-no ass on him that’s why he’s a serial killer

-is he digging out his teeth w the chisel???

-i like the effects on asas eyes

-the way arkin had to be homophobic to get asa to come back and beat him up sir that’s the por calling the kettle black ain’t it

-i mean if asa rlly wanted to fuck him up he could’ve just killed the girl

-or try to get bugs to eat through his stomach, that works to i guess

-asas evil little dogs damn

-arkin let me fix u up babe plssss i’ll take care of u hehehe

-the random noises they put over asa is so weird like what is he doing

-is the dog gotta eat this little girl 😭

-arkin hurry up bitch let’s GO

-this is why i’m a cat person

-HE LIT THE DOG ON FIRE 😧

-the stuffed fake dog was rlly something tho

-isn’t there 2 open windows upstairs? why don’t they go through those???

-HAHAHA he got stabbed by the knife chandelier 😝

-HIS WAILS OF PAIN LFJWJCNWONFKWJDJSJS THATS SO FUNNY

-NOT THE POLICE CAR RUNNING ARKIN OVER COSNCINWIDJE

-wonder what happened to arkin a daughter and gf ex lady

-the added the scream from asa like he’s in the fire or something

-also this little girl has GOT to have extreme ptsd from this

-THE AMBULANCE???? also damn arkin was strapped in tight tryna save the emt

-asa is so extra taking arkin w him like man u could’ve just killed him then and there 🙄

-how tf did he survive the knife thing tho 🤔 if it was anyone else they’d be deadzo…. anyways time to go watch the collection hehe