#THE BIGGEST GAY TRAGEDY OF OUR GENERATION

[sterakraffulz78]

This is hilarious and fateful

I saw the episode, and I never really thought that wasting time like this would be a suffering that lasted too long. I'm going to get good and bad things from what I saw

first for good, okay?

1. The deaf imp

In itself, I was very surprised by this character and to tell the truth I can consider him better than the other deep and sad Pseudos that only serve to make the panties get wet because of the Fujoshits, and it is something that in this program is seen very little or is scarce in Yes, it made me tender that Fizz treated him well.

2. Fizz and Asmodeus' relationship

What can we say, the relationship itself is healthy, and superior to many of both series and when Asmodeus protected Fizz it is something nice on his part, not like a certain owl who is only interested in the red cock who is a tremendous fucking creep unable to defend his """"little""", this relationship is one of the few salvageable things in this series

Now with the bad things

3. The songs

For the love of God... why? All the songs seem forgettable and super stupid to me, it seems that the only thing this chapter does is create time and necessary filler that will never contribute or amount to anything

4. The imp hater by fizarolli

This was expected, it doesn't surprise me much to tell the truth... just imagine that you are so hurt by harmless criticism of your program that you only hope for a good change and to be guided to do a good deed, but you prefer to spend and overexploit the Poor workers who only want some money to encourage your resentment in a lively way, this is ridiculous and makes others feel sorry for Viviana Medrano

5. Mammon

This is the first most annoying, loudest and most obnoxious thing I've ever seen followed by Chaz, the only thing he knows how to say is pure rudeness in every damn sentence, it's a fucking audiovisual blister that seems to never end, apart from the cringe I feel about it, the Deadly sins of this show will never be taken seriously and more that sexist phrase about "Women are not funny" and then you're dead... Damn you Medrano bitch, can't you at least respect a simple woman even if she has a tertiary role in your shitty program? (And ironic why you make penis jokes and swear words to wait for someone to laugh and praise you)

6. I HOPE THEY FUCK YOU BLITZ

Is it really necessary to put Blitz in every episode? For the love of God, am I already sick of listening and seeing that red cringe guy making those embarrassing faces and hearing his voice why can't I listen to Brandon normally anymore without remember this abusive and manipulative guy swearing!? They shoehorned this guy in just to get "laughs" and make him stick to Fizz when he was given the biggest tragedy of his life

7. Good vs bad, hAha ​​tHeY aRe RiGht wHy tHEy aRe nExT To thE bOyS aNd uwu sOfT

As always, our wonderful writing writing the bad characters, like the black ones in this Turkish soap opera and making them caricatures for mockery and portraying them as the soft boys and uwu the good ones. These characters are already predictable, if there is a soft and sore young gay uwu, he will be the good one because he is the soft and sore young gay uwu and we are all forced to take his side, while those who have the potential to be good villains like Striker, you position them as silly, cartoonish and you are the generic antagonist of a series for children under 6 years old, for example Asmodeus against Mammon

It's good that the views are getting lower and lower, so soon we won't be able to stand this series in decline and the next more ridiculous, repulsive, mediocre, cringe and pathetic chapter written by a ridiculous, mediocre, cringe, pathetic, misogyny, sexist, Transphobic , racist, xenophobic writer who only ruined her own work so that her little friends the Fujoshits (I already saw you SatorRojas, TeaTheKook and Dani) get their panties wet and buy more panties again to get them wet because they can't stand two boys together

[tibby]

In my head, I play a supercut of us All the magic we gave off, all the love we had and lost

[interact-if]

Day 3 of our Pride Month Event with Maxim!

Maxim, Author of Werewolf Noir

Set in a modern fantasy world, Werewolf Noir is a dark mystery where you’re looking for the person who killed your kid. If it’s for justice or revenge is up to you. You play as a relatively new werewolf after having lost everything and everyone, now living in the city of Reaver, corruption runs deep through the system and the richer someone is the more corrupt they are. Meet interesting characters and ro’s as you put the puzzle pieces together, get adopted by a tiny little pup or kitten, and pick out your new career path (private detective, bounty hunter, criminal) to make ends meet as you navigate this world and try to keep the wolf inside contained.

Read More about Werewolf Noir here. Play the Demo here. Maxim is also the author of Ichor: Awakening (TBA) and A Hero’s Job (TBA)

[INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!]

Q1 - Please, introduce yourself and tell us a bit about your project(s)!|

Hi, I’m Max I am a gay trans man. Werewolf Noir is probably my biggest project right now (and the only one with a public demo). It’s a modern fantasy noir setting where you play as a recently turned werewolf hunting down the people that took your life and your family from you. My other wip is called The Ichor: Awakening, it’s also a modern fantasy setting but with horror as well. You play as an ancient warrior who wakes up in modern times despite your last memory being your own gruesome demise. Only then, to find out that the ancient evil you previously fought is coming back and you have to fight it once more.

Q2 - What or who are some of your biggest inspirations?

            I have always loved fantasy media and monsters, to be honest I’ve had a love of monsters for so long that I’ve made up my own monster guide that will actually be featured in Werewolf Noir. I’ve always been drawn to dark settings like horror and tragedies. It’s hard for me to nail down a specific piece of media that serves as my biggest inspiration because I’m constantly getting new ideas and inspirations from just about everything. Not to mention the countless amazing IF authors and their projects! I just love seeing the worlds people create and how that affects the characters around them!

Q3- What excites you most about IF? What drew you to the medium?

            When I was first introduced to IF I was a little hesitant on if I would enjoy it, one fully read and re-read project later and I was hooked. I love seeing all of the different settings and worlds and how your character reacts in these settings. Being able to customize and really create your own character as the MC is most likely what really drew me into the medium, and I love seeing how each decision affects the story later on.

Q4 - Are your characters influenced by your identity? How?

I would say that most if not all of my characters are influenced by my identity. I’m so tired of having to hunt for any LGBT+ rep in mainstream media, so when it comes to my own works and characters, all of them are LGBT+ and neurodivergent.The Werewolf Noir RO’s are all bisexual as a general umbrella, because each has a more complicated identity stemming from that attraction. For example, The Ghost is an RO who is asexual, they’re fine with kissing, but just have no desire to go further. In my other project, The Ichor, there are two gender locked RO’s one being Andreas who goes by he/they pronouns, and the other being Ghislain the nonbinary healer. These two were some of the first characters I fleshed out for The Ichor, they know the MC the longest and so I wanted them all to be sort of locked in. Then we have M, their gender is chosen by the player, but they will always be transgender. M is one of my favorites to right for the Ichor as they relate closest to my specific identity, but also because they are just a big softie trying to act tough and aloof.

Q5 - What are you most excited about sharing related to your project?

            I think I’m most excited about sharing the characters I’ve made. Not just the RO’s either, but the NPC’s and how everyone works in the setting. World building is very important to me, and a lot of the characters have long backstories that not everyone will learn, which is totally okay! What gives me the most enjoyment is seeing how people react to the characters I’ve created and seeing if they like the same characters I do, or how people feel about the antagonist(s).

Q6 - What would you like to see more of in LGBT+ fiction/IF community?

            I would love to see more explicit trans identities in LGBT+fiction and the IF community, as in more characters who are trans. I’ve noticed a lot more options when it comes to making the MC and being able to make a trans MC which is amazing! But, I think I would enjoy seeing that spread to RO’s and NPC’s as well. A great example off the top of my head is from the IF wip The Northern Passage (which is an amazing project definitely check it out). I’d just love seeing more trans rep in projects and fiction, as well as trans wlw and mlm relationships without it being considered this “revolutionary” thing just because someone who’s cisgender is dating someone who’s transgender. I just want to see more casual relationships involving trans people.

Q7- Lastly, what advice would you give to your creators and readers?

            As a guy who struggles to write a lot of the times because I get in my own head a lot of the time, my biggest piece of advice is to just be easy on yourself. You don’t have to write a novel everytime you open your project. Your project doesn’t have to be perfect on the first iteration either. If it takes you years to get one project written, awesome! Why? Because you wrote something start to finish! Be gentle with yourself, you wouldn’t yell at an author for taking to long on the next update, so don’t do it to yourself. As for advice for readers, be gentle on creators. You never know whats going on behind the screen, and really you don’t know the creator. The best way to help creators is to interact with their work, likes are very nice, but personally I know I love reading tags or getting asks that are just keysmashes and “I love X character ;0;”. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, but just seeing that people do enjoy your work and getting feedback like that can be more inspiring than any number of likes. I guess to sum it all up, be gentle with yourself and the creators you enjoy!

[vaguely-concerned]

X-men Evolution; the great 2021 rewatch liveblog

exactly what it says on the tin, about halfway through the show I had TOO MANY FEELINGS and had to start writing some of them out haha (gets quite gambit & rogue/gambit heavy in the latter half, Because of Who I Am as a Person)

- this is my childhood’s x-men, my formative experience with them, and I’m happy to report that still seems like a good thing. the little eleven year old within me gets to geek out and have a good time with the characters and the surprisingly good animation and writing, adult me gets to CACKLE at regular intervals at the fashion/technology/absolute bonkers hot garbage comic book nonsense they use to justify a storyline every now and then, it’s been a good time 

- I was like ‘ah well it is super dated it probably won’t be quite the same now’ and then rogue’s HAIR did the THING in the opening and ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ started playing in the background... the little baby queer in me swooning across time and space

- such a good beast, both his design and the writing, my heart aches for him all the time. he’s just so passionate! about being a teacher! helping young humans learn the stuff they’ll need in life! the most wonderful nerd man, just let good things happen for him

- I’m going to go ahead and assume that rogue’s ‘crush’ on scott is more of a deeply complex psychological process about desiring normalcy and intimacy and trying to figure out if she’s queer and dealing with her emerging sexuality and latching on to the first and best safely unavailable and nonthreatening older boy to project these issues onto rather than actually being a real thing, because I respect her so much as a person and I cannot bring myself to imagine she’s honestly attracted to a man who has POSTERS OF CARS on his bedroom wall. (I’ll give jean a break just because she seems to have a longer deeper history with him that might counteract some of that libido-kill, and also she’s a jock so lol)

like I am very sorry but can u imagine being a teenage girl with any interest in a boy with model cars in his bedroom when gambit’s swanning around being a much, much, much worse choice on almost every possible level but in a teen girl kryptonite kind of way? inconceivable  

(I drag scott quite a few times in this and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s just his tragedy to be the most draggable man in the world)

to be fair by the time gambit shows up that whole Situation has mostly played itself out I suppose but still  

- toad’s design is so ineffably brilliant, I can’t quite tell you why but that ugly cute charm has really stuck with me, he’s one of the characters I remembered the best to this day just visually

- poor evan... he truly never had a chance, did he, they just saddled him with the most 90s teen bullshit they could come up with like he’s some kind of ‘what adult writers think teens like’ frankenstein’s monster ;______; it’s not your fault honey

- poor poor POOR storm, she gets one focus episode and they were like ‘we’re going to make an episode so racist -- ‘

I’m still STUNNED at how bad it was, but undeniably I laughed hysterically to the point that my neighbours were probably worried when that dude was earnestly like ‘He [stunningly breathlessly racist caricature of a ‘witch doctor’ guy] has stolen her powers, and he’s going to use them to take over Africa!!!’ fhajsdlfhsakjldfh oh really? tell me more, like how the fUCK this could be on television within my life time fasdlfhsdkjfhsad f  just... fahjksdfh

- it’s a testament to gambit’s appeal as a character that his charm can survive what they’ve done with his hair and beard choices in this one fajskfhs regrettable but true I still fuckn LOVE him and in my highly biased yet Correct opinion he should have been around much more. get you a man who manages to stay hot through sheer Vibes even with a bowl cut

- aw scott/jean is kind of sweet in this show even if it’s taking them forEVER to get there, I like it 

- it’s very nice of rogue to not mention magneto’s romantic daydreams and nostalgic memories about charles xavier after touching his face that one time... or maybe her brain did her a service and repressed it, there’s some stuff you shouldn’t have to know about your father figure   

- the danger room is the very definition of ‘why do we even have that lever’ and I wonder what the fuck prof x does to have enough money to replace everything that gets busted all the time

- I’d say that a lot of the writing holds up surprisingly well! (but some of it is also incredibly inexcusably racist in ways that beggar belief, so... not full marks here) the characters have distinct voices and their arcs are set up and delivered on solidly for the most part, and there’s a lot of love showing through in small moments that are just there to have a funny/interesting thing to say about the characters and how their powers work separately and in combination. listen, sometimes I get so thirsty for like. basic goddamn competency in storytelling, let me have this

- ugggggh why is there captain america in my x-men have I not suffered enough... very very funny when prof x goes ‘sounds like you knew rogers personally’ and logan is like ‘I did ;)’ *all the students ganging up on steve rogers* “did you fuck our teacher, captain america?!”

- fskadfhas WHY are you showing me hot young-ified magneto’s ass fksjahfskj charles is not even here to see it, what a tragic waste erik 

- ...I was sort of kidding before but uh I think logan genuinely did fuck captain america (or at least wishes very much that he did lol)

- wanda can have a little watching the world burn. as a treat for the way every single adult in her life has fucking failed her (’aren’t they treating you well here’ professor x she’s in a straightjacket)  

- poor rogue tho can you imagine finding out after your biggest crush on a girl yet that she’s your fucking MOM in disguise... I would break out in cold sweat every time I thought about a boob forever after

- well seems like they really just had all that homoerotic rivalry stuff between quicksilver and spyke in their first ep only to never do anything with that again ever?? I mean even without the gay undertone that seems like a dynamic you spent most of an episode setting up writers what the hell haha

- dslhfkasjlh GAMBIT THERE HE IS MY BOY IS ON THE SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I don’t even care about his awful hair situation or the fact that his eyes are wrong here (coloured contact lenses, maybe, for a watsonian explanation? though he’d probably have to get them made special, considering he needs the sclera and the iris covered up in different ways, I’ve seen some comic panels indicating he has been known to?)

(cute little detail: when he shuffles the cards the first time we see him he ends with removing the top card to show the ace of hearts beneath <3 foreshadowing baBEY he’s a... good-ish boy deep down. hey he tries okay shit gets complicated sometimes lol) 

- cracking UP at gambit perched cheerily on the edge of a crate dispensing cards in the middle of the battle... he’s like ‘eh it’s a livin’ sfsajkhf remy stop working for supervillains just because you had nothing to do on a thursday afternoon and they said they’d pay you

- I’m guessing magneto must have imposed a strict order of silence on these guys or something because I cannot imagine any other reason for him to shut up, especially once he notices rogue is a QTE (or, far more likely, they hadn’t settled on any voice actors for the new characters until next season haha. it is kind of odd that they’re all keeping up near monastic silence, though, even sabertooth lol) 

- WHAT an epic first meeting for us rogue/gambit fans here... first his shadow like there’s fireworks going off behind him lighting him up and then he gives her the fuckn king of hearts and she’s so enchanted by his dumb handsome face she doesn’t even notice it’s about to blow up in her hands and it all happens in heavily meaningful silence afjsdfjashjk no wonder this ship ingrained itself in my hindbrain  

yeah look smug while you can remy she’s gonna have you on your knees one day and you’ll be happy about it lol

- god storm is so COOL, everything just fading out of focus when she really gets going... give her more screen time, show!!

- mystique is every person... this person... that person... that bird... that cat... that wolf... I’m not even sure she’s not also me... are you sure she’s not you? 

- holy fuck I respect the hell out of the decision to just... blow up the entire status quo in a season ender, I only vaguely remembered that (actually in general I appreciate how good the continuity is -- buildings and places that get damaged in battles need to be repaired or rebuilt, it makes the consequences feel more real even when no one gets seriously hurt. where they get the money to restore scott’s car and logan’s motorbikes every time they go cablooie is still an open question tho lol is it credit card fraud, professor? is it telepathically acquired blackmail???) 

- I first watched this when I was nine or so, so it’s a real experience to go from my starry eyed intrigued ‘oh my god... they’re teenagers’ to my horrified adult perspective of ‘oh my god... they’re TEENAGERS D:’

that goes double for the brotherhood boys honestly, I’m here with tears in my eyes like ‘I’m sorry the system has failed you so badly you’re all just a bunch of dumb kids whose caretakers clearly fucked up spectacularly’  

like lance is always waiting for mystique to come back because she’s the closest thing he has to a safe parental figure, may we speak about how crushingly depressing that is 

- rogue is so ready to throw hands at literally any moment and for that I love and treasure her immensely (I think getting to see her be so surly and unreasonable and sometimes difficult and jealous, like any teenager, meant a lot to me as a kid who was not really allowed to be any of these things, this version of the character has stayed with me so deeply. she holds on so fiercely to her right to feel what she feels and be what she is even when it’s ‘ugly’ or unreasonable, which I think plays in really interestingly with how her powers involve getting invaded by other people’s thoughts and memories to the point of overwhelming her own sense of self and the fact that she clearly has a lot of self-loathing and self-consciousness and confusion about her identity as well. I love her so much)  

- oooof this is the ‘the gang experience a microaggression’ episode huh (well more like macroagressions really)

hits a bit different with adult eyes and perspective huh

- hearing jean sound almost like a child when she says ‘that’s so unfair!’ somehow has me like ;______; -- she has to be so adult and responsible all the time, and having her be reduced to the kid she still is and should get to be in front of this awful awful man she could squash like a bug with the flick of a thought... ugh I’m Big Sad (it is funny that jean seemingly plays Every Sport tho djfhaskj)

- MY BOY IS BACK!!! this time with the duster coat and his eyes the right colour, im so happy (too bad about the subdued colour scheme tho; I adore his dumb bright pink getup with my whole heart)

it’s kind of adorable that he takes the time to take the bullies aside and go ‘I know these guys can’t wreck you without getting expelled, but I think you’ll find no law set down by god or man would stop me from doing so whenever I wanted to. so piss off and leave them alone’ lol he’s looking out for them, in his own way

- in this episode: remy lebeau wrangles some kids while looking bored yet mildly amused the whole time. what the fuck does magneto have on you for you to agree to this level of babysitting duty buddy

- fun detail I noticed b/c when I get a fave I hyperfixate: he gave rogue the king of hearts before, but he ‘introduces’ himself to the brotherhood here (lol) with the jack of hearts, probably to symbolize he’s here as someone who works for magneto in this setting and not as his own man? it’s a demotion he’s given himself there, anyway, might be he’s not very pleased about his current position huh 

- I like it when rogue and kitty team up, they’re not very effective together but their squabbling is so cute and non-aggressive 

- pietro is what draco malfoy would be if I ever found malfoy interesting to watch for even one moment, every time quicksilver talks I’m like ‘what wonderfully insufferable thing is going to come out of your mouth this time you little shit :’)’

- a) why are scott and logan shirtless for this scene? I am not complaining on the logan side of things at least but why and b) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my couch when scott asked logan if he’d ever been in love and he was like ‘once. she was the most beautiful bike I ever saw’ falsdfhaskjfhsakjlfhasklhjfd THE BEST VERSION OF WOLVERINE EVER, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES 

- mystique’s sheer dedication to being a petty bitch is kind of inspirational tbh, almost makes me want to go on a completely bonkers and extra crusade of personal revenge myself  

- oooh they’re doing some genuinely cool things with vision/lack of vision in this one (it’s the scott left on his own in the desert without glasses one btw) even visually, dang! I’m so sad this show didn’t get more seasons than it did, honestly, it deserved it

- hell yeah jean wreck her, go get your man with the suspiciously specific clothing damage normally done to female characters 

awww :’) okay yeah they’re super sweet, I love the tiny loving animation details like how he leans his head against her and her stroking his hair away from his eyes

- nooo don’t bully evan leave my t0tally r4dical sk8er boy alone :(

- I love the running joke of people fleeing in blind panic only to reveal that what they’re running from is kitty’s cheerful well meaning little face fskfaskh 

- scott and jean are already peak married after officially being together for one episode and it’s adorable, and they just stone cold threw logan under the bus, rip wolverine we hardly knew ya

fjasdlfasldfhslajdkfhsadkjlfhsdkjalfhsdakfh h jean establishing herself as the alphabitch of this relationship by throwing her man to the wolves right after dsjfhaskjfhaskjhfsakjdhfaskjhfaskdhfskjahfskdajhf get smarter or get volunteered scott 

- ...eyepatch lady is so hot ngl

oh evan went to the place hank used to go to calm down ;________; (honestly he’s kind of won a place in my heart just by being a pretty normal teenage boy haha)

- jesus fucking CHRIST can you imagine being storm having to look her sister in the eye as she tells her ‘I lost your only child, he’s *vague gesture* somewhere in the sewers we think’ this poor woman

- amanda the self admitted monster fucker you are so VALID (I love her and her family’s design so much tho!)

- it’s so cool that even in his human ‘disguise’ kurt’s fingers follow the shape of his actual hand beneath it rather than moving like a five fingered hand, it’s such a lovingly consistent little detail 

- magneto and mystique in a breathless race to see who can be the shittiest parent... tune in next week for yet another parental nadir (also some low-poly gambit appearances in this one, for those at home keeping score (me), he’s in the background looking like someone drew him with their eyes closed fakjldfhasd look how they massacred my boy)

- someone please teach the brotherhood boys about consent huh

- jean ‘soccer mom before her time’ grey and her SUV dfhakjlhds :’)

- im sobbing rogue baby girl i’m so sorryyyyyy, this voice actress is so good, my parental instincts suddenly kicked into overdrive hearing the crack in her voice :( (bb me was right tho rogue centric episodes ARE the best episodes. that tension between ‘do I identify witn this character or am I crushing on her?? both???’ now has the fun new addition of ‘oh god oh no you are a baby I want to shield you with my body from everything trying to hurt you’)

- mystique is like ‘so you see despite you telling me you never wanted to see me again I completely disrespected that and posed as a friend your age, manipulated you by offering you the mirage of direly needed emotional intimacy and belonging and added some sprinkles of homoerotic tension to it just to massively worsen your already existing grievous psychosexual trauma and identity issues... out of love’

god go jump in a black hole you fucking monster 

- there’s some very interesting and quite subtle subtext about the people she’s morphing into and what that says about her mental state/how it shows off some of her emotional baggage with the rest of the team. it’s like she’s switching between people/powers that fit the purpose as if she’s going through cycles of fight/flight (and then bursts of freeze where she’s herself, which is... so sad)

- this whole episode is hurting my heart but rogue at full power is undeniably epic  

 - ‘professor x get your goddamn act together and get this poor girl some fucking tHERAPY’ challenge

- SAFE PAPA LOGAN ;_____;

- EYYYYYY opening straight on My Lad, I cannot stop winning!!!!! 

fasdfhsad disintegrating the window with a smiley face... remy I do love you more than my heart can bear honestly, hello may we speak about the fact that his urge to be a little shit is so deep and strong it survives mind control (that little breathed out ‘hiah!’ as he vaults the fence too dsakfjsd)

hahaha and he does up the coat fhsalfdsaj 

- magneto dismissing other telepaths like ‘puh-lease, your Meaningful Looks have got nothing on my ex-husband’s’ 

- :’) rogue and kurt sibling timeees

- say what you want but this pyro guy’s got job satisfaction in being a creepy arsonist with a weird recurring horse theme (well at least twice but still weird)

- I love how beast is the kindest man to ever walk the earth but also straight up savage, this man drags people so hard their ancestors wince in their graves

- gambit taking the time to complete the guard’s game of solitaire -- this episode is giving me everything I want. u little disgrace mr lebeau

and THEN he takes the spider out in the most hilariously bonkers way my heart is so FULL

(I love that when magneto moves by he looks startled and has to quickly move his head out of the way to avoid getting kicked in the temple too that’s a fun detail)

I’m so INTO how this sequence shows off that his greatest strength isn’t even his powers (which are pretty straightforward, really, he makes go boom, longer time and bigger thing bigger boom) but that he’s clever and creative and always extremely ready to be the most harebrained-bananapants-extra-in-a-deceptively-laidback-sort-of-way person in the room (I actually have some genuinely Deep Thoughts about how his whole character does a really interesting thing with having the straightforwardly destructive nature of his powers yield to what his nature as a person is, and how using the playing cards play (heh) into it, maybe I’ll write it out some day. just the fact that he could use anything, but he deliberately chose something that adds style and playfulness and corny charm to it and that also limits the damage of the explosions compared to if he habitually used something with more mass... I find it fascinating how much he’s made a story around himself with it and how deeply it shows he does have a good heart, at the end of the day, in almost a metatextual way. he doesn’t want to destroy things or people, he’s at worst (and best lol) a thief.)

- I honestly have literally no memory of white nick fury (which seems so weird now isn’t it funny) in this series from when I was a kid, he clearly did not make an impression on me lol

- mr wolverine ‘assigned canadian at birth’ x-men 

- oh man I dig the androgynity of x-23′s outfit (even tho they had to compensate with the long hair, which... kind of doesn’t make sense in-universe but does on a design level because it’s a crucial thing that she’s a female clone of logan so yeah okay fine whatever have your arbitrary gender markers if you must haha)

ooooooh that’s actually really clever, they make her gender gradually more obvious as she unravels through the episode and her outfit changes -- first the mask coming off, and then her jacket opening to show her silhouette more clearly, that’s cool!  

- my god what really sets this show apart is how much it invests in little character and relationship moments, it’s just so fucking GOOD! it gives laura looking in on those moments such depth and weight because it’s new to her but established to us as an audience, this is how you make found family devastating people (storm growing bonsai trees is so charming too haha) 

- ooof this is honestly quite harrowing 

SHE’S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM I’M CRYING (at least that part of his genes translated over faslkfsjdh short king, I say this with all the love and support of a fellow short monarch)  

- tabitha seems to just be running around doing precisely whatever the fuck she wants and you know what I support her even if she is an asshole her father left her a bunch of trauma and no fucks left to give 

- still thrilled about professor x explaining the spider key fuckup to magneto after the fact like ‘magnus you dumb bitch this is why we split up’ 

- awww kitty has anime and movie posters on her wall and sleeps with a stuffed toy :’)

-          remy                           rogue

                              🤝

doing completely unnecessary parkour around the brotherhood living room seemingly just for the hell of it... I’m not saying soulmates but fucking soulmates 

- fhsadkjlfhsakjldfhsadjkfhsdajkfh just as gambit’s soul-level need to be a little shit survived his bout of mind control, rogue’s deep and urgent desire to kiss gambit full on the mouth survived hers I can’t breathe

she looks so pleased with herself too GOOD FOR YOU GIRL at least get something out of this other than more trauma 

also not only the fact that he’s smart enough to figure out what’s going on (though he’s only partially right about who’s behind it. I do so enjoy gambit/mystique deep and sincere antipathy as a constant across all universes tho lmao pure wlw/mlm hostility) but also that he keeps fending her off like he’s not trying to hurt her even though she’s in nigh on unstoppable and invulnerable terminator mode... awww 

- gambit having absolutely no patience for wolverine and sabertooth’s bullshit macho-off and consistently being this little biker trio’s one brain cell is adding years to my life with every passing moment

his voice is a little different in these scenes too, a bit softer and less like he’s trying to impress someone, it’s nice

- hank: well I barely recognize any of these (completely made up) ‘ancient egyptian hieroglyphs’ but from what I can make out -- *proceeds to infodump a perfect coherent narrative* fjdhfak  

listen this whole thing is such nonsense on so many levels, I’m just turning my brain off so I won’t have to think about it okay, the compulsion to put ancient aliens in egypt haunts us as a culture 

- I am CACKLING about gambit in the snow after having to listen to these two chucklefucks ooze testosterone at each other for hours

he started out taking it in good cheer and is now reduced to ‘dieu would both of you just jump off this fUCKING mountain please’

- ah. a little oops-a-daisy there, we seem to have unleashed the apocalypse. please stand by (they really don’t pull their punches with the season cliffhangers in this show haha)

- opening the season on gambit’s merrily grinning face is the easiest way to gain my favour. yes good this season may commence 

baby u r my

 ANGELLLLLLLL

(he’s so cute here tho haha I think it shows the design isn’t unsalvagable, just get him better hair and stubble more like logan has and you’ve basically got it) 

love his exasperated eyeroll when the dude gets spooked (by his eyes? or just the general weirdness?) too

he’s just trying to keep this crazy family of evil mutants together and unmurdered by one another until they’ve managed to avert the end of the world, bless him  

- oh NO rogue’s LIP wobbles my hhhhhheart ;____; such a good animation detail to put in

- like... I know kurt is just a sad scared teenager with a lot of shit going on and all the adults are too busy averting the end of the world to help him... but buddy maybe don’t ask your sister to wake her abuser (who forced her to kickstart the end of the world!!!!!) when she feels utterly unsafe even with her statue version around huh

- ...wanda is good and I want only good things for her. and for her dad to be disemboweled for what he did to her both the first time around and when he forced her to forget I mean what 

- magneto throwing an epic satelite-slinging tantrum b/c ‘no I am the biggest sexiest strongest mutant of the pack :(’... erik fucking get over yourself 

- yes boys absolutely go along with a plan suggested by a dude who looks at you like this 

nothing bad can come of this surely asdfkhsa

- lance’s quarter of a braincell always trying to go ‘hey wait, maybe... not do this???’ and it never helps lol

- in this episode: Logan Has A Bad Day 

...some very specific bondage positions he’s held in here, I am sure this episode awakened something in someone once upon a time lol 

- logan shielding x-23 with his body... im fine it’s okay I’m not crying don’t look at me

- afsdhlsdfjasdlk those sure are some ‘scottish’ accents flsadkjhkdsjahfsd

- scott relieved to finally be able to cede the position of ‘charles xavier’s least favourite son’ to someone else fjsaklfhsajd (poor scott it’s not your fault honey)

supremely cowardly to suggest there is an ex-wife involved rather than charles slutting his way around the british isles back in the day but okay

- kurt with a cold is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. it’s okay kid it’ll get better soon

- ...is there an implication here that professor x is naturally blond. because I am losing my entire little mind about it (i mean he at least has to carry the gene, as does this lady?)

ETA: upon doing some research into this I can indeed confirm that charles xavier does seem to be naturally blond, and after this knowledge I will never be the same 

- “listen, dracula” fskdafghasd oh scott you sweet baby angel I love you

- I know jean’s abilities are a bit ‘as strong or as weak as the plot needs right now’ at this point (so you can have the setup for what’s going to happen with them eventually and she’s basically invincible ;____;), and normally I’m cool with it but god I want her to just squash lucas like a little bug

- ewwwww please don’t ever say ‘daddy’ like that again

- ...what the fuck is even going on this episode’s a mess 

like okay the split personality thing could be something but the way it’s done... what just happened lol

- MY BOY EVAN IS BACK! with a real glowup too (...though kind of weird how he suddenly looks like a grown man)

- augh scott’s eyes are so pretty oh my god ;__________________________;

- that episode in the first season where evan makes the ‘this is my new family!!’ video is so sad now (also, again, his poor poor parents) 

- time for: life affirming road trip with gambit (involuntary) faskljdfhaskjd

stunt therapist remy lebeau 

- I mean the way he goes about it is batshit insane and it’s very much secondary to what he’s actually up to but this is the first time rogue’s sounded genuinely hopeful and confident and like herself in like a season <3 

- he is disconcertingly pleased about her nearly throwing him off the train, and may I just say I agree it’s so nice to see rogue with her old fire back 

- the first time I watched this it was of course dubbed into norwegian, so I had no idea either of these characters were southern lol (though to be fair I probably wouldn’t have had much context for what it meant exactly either, I was like ten at the time and not too interested in america) I seem to dimly remember the norwegian voice actor did a little more of a ‘french’-tinged accent for gambit all over tho haha  

- you know what respect where it’s due, pyro dude knows to live his life for the lols and one has to admire his sociopathic dedication to it

interesting that he, too, seems to have fucking hated magneto -- I wonder if the implication here is that he kept all the acolytes in line with blackmail or by keeping something/one hostage? (except sabertooth maybe he’d just have to say ‘you get to fuck shit up and fight wolverine’ and that’d be enough)

- fsdakfhsd he’s so focused on her he doesn’t notice that guy about to hit him fkafhsa 

- fuck everything else except whatever the hell these two’ve got going on

- it’s weirdly cathartic to have rogue have a conversation with someone who was not happily adopted as well, I don’t think kurt like. gets it because his parents loved him unconditionally and still do 

birds of a feather motherfucker  

- fun detail: when the x-men team are on the shore and logan is sniffing around scott is stepping in something and trying to wipe it off his boots in the background

- when he wakes up after passing out from the touch he’s smiling even though she’s standing over him looking like the rage of god outlined by the moon fsajfsa well the last time he passed out like that it was from a kiss, maybe he still has some hopes and dreams in that direction lol (also he recovers from the tumble down the hill first and is checking on her before accidentally brushing her cheek with his hand, which I thought was sweet) 

and it was in that moment he knew he fucked up *passes out*

- ‘I can explain’ can u remy. can u  

- did it ever even occur to you to just. ask her. to help you. I mean I know it didn’t but like rogue’s always one second away from throwing hands with some bully and is stupidly ride or die, if you’d given her the puppydog eyes she would have crumbled immediately (fair enough I guess this entire episode is telling us he’s not from a background where he has much experience with people just helping him without a price haha) 

- his eyes glowing when he’s angry or upset or using a lot of his power is undeniably cool as all hell. I’m just saying it would be Big Sexy if they sort of flickered with light in moments of genuine vulnerability okay  

- his coat... his coat is what makes the Silhouette tm and I could not be happier about it 

- another parent of the year contestant enters the running lol “hey remy have you ever considered that you’re more of a walking bomb factory than a person? that’s certainly how I think of you hahaha c’mon kid let’s go” 

- the running joke of jean luc getting dollar signs in his eyes seeing the other mutant powers and gambit being like ‘nO!!!!’ and pulling him along is amazing haha

- from the way he looks when he touches rogue accidentally and the way he talks to his dad I’m sort of getting the feeling this gambit might actually be a bit younger than he looks?

here too -- idk why but it’s making the ‘wait is he baby???’ alarms go off in my head haha. very early twenties at most. 

- and we’ve officially seen him with all the face cards in the heart suit folks! (yes this is the sort of thing my brain notices no I don’t know either)

- poor logan running his ass off this whole episode in a panic and then she’s like ‘nah he’s fine (in several meanings of the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) please put him down’ hfaskfsda

- rogue without makeup!!! her eyes look so naked like this haha <3

- oooh here’s a really interesting thing that tickles my brain a bit in this specific part of the scene where gambit frees his dad -- the part where he’s leaning against the door frame waiting for jean luc, who’s about to suggest using the opportunity to ruin the rival gang from the inside rather than slipping away while they still can

from his expression here he knows what’s about to happen, what jean luc is about to say, and it’s clearly a ‘man who thought he’d lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of situation. he KNOWS what jean luc is like, and it still hurts that he really, honestly can’t give him even this, can’t appreciate that remy’s already done all this shit for him when he extremely didn’t have to, without immediately (no really, it took him less than ten seconds to go there? jesus) demanding more.  

remy tells him “I’m just here for you” and jean luc does not understand it. remy seems to be sincere in this motivation -- rogue certainly thinks so, having experienced it second hand and found enough at least emotional merit in it to decide he was worth saving even after all his bullshit (lol a bit of a running theme maybe. I think it’s very telling that after she absorbed mystique she was like ‘what the FUCK you’re a fucking monster’, and after she absorbed gambit she went ‘you did the wrong thing for the right reasons’ after she got over the first wave of outrage) 

there’s also what he says as he stands there: “You don’t need me for that”, with the distinct implication that jean luc would only keep him around because he has a use for him and for no other reason -- and then jean luc shamelessly doubles down on that by specifying that it’s not even him he’s got a use for as such, just his powers. that’s some kicking puppies level of deliberately missing the point, it’s almost impressive in how cheerfully mean it is haha

this idea of using people is really important in this episode because remy’s doing basically exactly the same thing to rogue to begin with; it doesn’t really matter to his plan that it’s her that’s with him through this, just what her powers are. (I think it’s  p r e t t y  solidly implied that he does actually like her a lot outside of that too and maybe there is some comfort in having her around for this, but mostly he’s behind a smokescreen of lies through the whole thing sooo I doubt he’s even aware of it, honestly)     

but then it does matter that it’s her when she comes back for him, even after what he did. and unlike jean luc he understands what that means, that she did that for him, and that she didn’t have to. and instead of asking her for more, in return he gives her the thing it’s been established is what he considers the most valuable thing he has; his ‘last card’, the thing he’s credited with keeping him alive many a time, basically. it’s gone from using to mutuality, a tentative place of friendship, and at the end of the day he is a different man than his adoptive father, with a capacity for selflessness and love he lacks. which is of course some of the same stuff going on with rogue and mystique too, except rogue acted from a more fragile and unstable place and did something she regrets, or at least has a LOT of doubts about now, and she found some catharsis in helping someone make a different choice in a similar situation. man there’s some Stuff going on under the surface here haha

(by the way it’s a weirdly... meaningless yet intensely meaningful thing, the gifting of a symbol? of an idea? but he’s putting something very crucial of himself into her hands, is the subtext, and he expects her to understand, which she also does seem to do. at the beginning of the episode he’s proving that he’s seen something true about her -- “You’re such an unhappy girl”, knowing where she comes from, the way she’s mourning her lost confidence and autonomy with her abilities -- and here she’s proving she’s seen something true about him. :’) I wish this show had gone on long enough for this dynamic to progress, it’s really interesting and touching)   

- gambit dragging himself up onto dry land seeing someone approaching (to help?!): :D

gambit seeing that it’s logan and the look on his face: D: 

- rogue using her powers so confidently and fearlessly in this episode tho!!!! 

- *me crying* and then her FAMBILY comes to take her home and he says he’s looking out for her too and kurt still loves her even though they’re having a conflict thing between them and she’s finally able to use her powers without so much fear again and --

- ...did I just watch some baby lesbian love at first sight shit right now???  

- okay last two episodes let’s go

- HELL YEAH STORM (I love that she’s like ‘don’t give me a dumb order like that and I won’t have to disobey it’ too sdfjsaj) her voice has such command I’m usually very much not the ‘step on me’ type butttt

- y’know I feel like apocalypse’s main fault across all versions I’ve seen of him is that he’s like an immortal superpowered god king and he’s not even sexy. like at least make him hot if he’s going to be insufferable in every other way 

- also callout post for apocalypse: one time he made gambit into the Horseman of Death... and didn’t even make him sexy!!! you were handed remy lebeau, supreme bi disaster slut of the x men universe, and you couldn’t even make his brainwashed superpowered evil side hot?? a beautiful stubbled twunk with glowing red eyes and extremely charming :> face practically delivers himself into your hands and you do that to him???? I mean I’m sure apocalypse did some other bad stuff too but that was the worst one

(comics are so dumb y’all) 

- having to watch jean cry is emotional terrorism!! ;___; she has such older sister/mom energy, whenever she gets sad and helpless it hurts 

- oh, OH so PROFESSOR X you’ll make into a hunk and ~*strategically*~ rip his clothes to show off a nipple and a flawless pec in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable because he’s like The Dad??? apocalypse you are rotten to the core this is unforgivable 

- so wait wanda never actually gets her real memories back. what the FuCk I hope that was a dropped storyline because they ended the show tragically prematurely rather than like. the plan

- why is spyke calling storm ‘storm’ show that’s his auntie o!! >:(

- as a society we need to acknowledge that apocalypse looks like a fucking clown

- ooooh yeah I have been thinking that this show’s greatest visual weakness so far has been not having a visual way to show telepathy/battles of the minds, but this is a pretty cool way to do it! better late than never

- I’m so happy rogue gets to end this herself, since she was forced into starting it against her will, it’s just nice and neat storytelling

- YEAH FUCKING TELL HER KURT AND ROGUE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and she has the temerity to look pissed off oh my god

the only valid thing mystique has done in her entire life is be in love with destiny. literally everything else she gets up to is a travesty. like I know objectively she’s hot but my loathing for her stops me from even appreciating it. I do enjoy loathing her tho so please don’t change her haha

(a bit odd to have kurt’s attitude to her swing so much but I’m just going to assume he and rogue had a good long conversation after ‘cajun spice’ and that he understands what’s going on better now)

- this last part is such a cruel tease faskdfhsdaj ‘here are all the cool-ass things we had planned. sucks you never get to see it huh’ im devastated 

- magneto without his helmet and playing charmingly with children like charles is going ‘well at least I saved my marriage finally’ fsadkhfjsd (honestly tho I would be super interested in seeing how they’d redeem this magneto because he’s been a real bitch the whole time lol) 

there’s an interesting thing here where magneto looks down at wanda as the last thing he does on screen before this epilogue part (yeah I hope it fucking haunts you forever what you did to her erik you absolute piece of hot garbage) and the last thing charles does is look at jean b/c he knows what’s going to happen to her and it breaks his heart... Dramatic Parallells  

- just the hint of jean as the phoenix has me in full D:D:D: mode tho maybe I wouldn’t have survived it

- gambit in the last groupshot with his arm around rogue ;^) I mean I’m sure they’re headed for some turns and roundabouts along the way but what’s that thing she says as her wedding vow, that she’ll always find her way back? anyway that got me in my heart

- man I really wish this show had been given more seasons, we were barely even getting warmed up here :’(

[annetteblog]

I got a very long ask and wrote even longer reply, and now Tumblr for some reason doesn't want to publish it through asks. So I'm making a separate post, because what else can I do? 😀 I hope Anon wouldn't mind

Hi!

Thank you for such a long ask! I really enjoy replying those, although it may take some time to actually write whatever I have on my mind 🙂 However, I feel like for every question that you posed, it's possible to write its own big reply or even an essay, so this piece of mine probably won’t give them justice (but I’ll try my best.)

As usual, one big IMO.

1) Ethics, “gueer coding” and discussions

I believe I’ve already partly touched this subject here. Shortly, I think that everything the boys did (and still do) had its own purpose. They decided to put these "undertones" (or whatever one may call them) in their art. They made some statements with a very small room for interpretation. And it didn't happen once or twice. More like, it's been a consistent behaviour throughout years.

I don't buy this excuse some fans write - "oh, he just didn't know about this/didn't understand how it looked like/didn't..." So apparently, JK wasn't able to figure out shit about Troye, didn't give a damn about his GCF, didn't think how his tattoo looked like; JM didn't realize to what conclusions could lead his quite bold words about 4am or waking up and seeing JK; both of them didn't have second thoughts about the Black Swan dance; Bang PD is just a CEO who pays zero attention to BTS in general and KM actions in particular (which sometimes actually backlash, e.g. that stop gay fanservice thing after the Seoul concerts), because he clearly just doesn't care AT ALL; whatever PR service they have in BH is just asleep all the time... Etc etc etc, you got the idea

Well, if one wants to perceive JM, JK and BigHit as a group of complete morons with no brains, this "oh, they just didn't know" explanation may work. But if all of them were idiots, how would BTS become the biggest group on a planet? They are smart enough, deal with this.

And YET. KM still do what they do. It's their choice, so apparently they have their motives. You wrote it yourself too - "Jikook and BH put out all that stuff for a reason."

Keeping this in mind, I truly think it's fair to discuss queer undertones or KM's bond. It's meant to be discussed and speculated. They made it public, and they continue to make it public (and quite obvious, to be honest). Why? Well, I guess they want us to speculate.

From here comes the second point

2) Art and its interpretations

In general, I believe that any good art should allow various interpretations. That's what a good piece of art is supposed to do - provoke a thought. As well as it's quite customary to analyze and (sometimes) overanalyze art. Thousands of universities worldwide have programs which are focused on fine art, literature, theater, music, film, etc.

And why is it okay to write about Avengers or Madonna or whatever weird art you're able to find in the closest Contemporary museum (like a banana taped to a wall), but not okay to interpret BTS' songs and/or performances? Again, I strongly believe that art is meant to be discussed. Especially as cool as theirs 🙂

Actually, some popular fandom theories turned out to be true here. Since Spring Day release on Feb 2017, fans speculated about its connection to the Sewol ferry tragedy based on the song's lyrics, MV and choreo. We got this confirmation like when, December 2020? But before it was also just an interpretation.

Coming back to KM. Combining these with the idea that JM/JK/BH clearly know what they're doing and how it may look like, I don't see a problem in having various interpretation of their art. Including queer ones.

3) Escapism

Isn't all art targeted to escaping in a sense? We want to take a break from reality and/or mundane life or just gain some new experience. In this sense what's the radical difference between staring at pictures or sculptures in a museum, watching a movie, reading a book or scrolling through Tumblr reading BTS/KM centric posts? All of these are means to escape and entertain ourselves.

As for this "if they are a queer couple, is it okay to derive pleasure and 'what a beautiful love story' feelings from two members of systematically oppressed minority?" - and you would prefer doing what - ignoring them? pretending that they don't exist? 🙃 In case if they are a queer couple, I guess showing support and benevolence is even more important. Exactly because, as you mentioned, they are a part of the oppressed minority. And the hatred is/would be definitely in place.

4) Fanfiction

Oh my, what a controversial theme these days.

Firstly, some forget it was not invented in the 21st century. Even slash fanfiction (cough Star cough Trek). As for incorporating real people, it's been a part of literature for like what.. always? There are millions of different writings about emperors, nobles, military figures, lives of saints, etc. And it's not like personal opinion of people in question bothered those, who write or wrote about them. I clearly remember a scene in Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, where Alexander I [Russian emperor 1801-25] after losing a battle against Napoleon, hits a birch tree with his sword while crying hard and just being kinda hysterical. Would real Alexander be satisfied with such image if he read the book? Idk 😄

About having "the right to comment on such [different from your own] experience". I suppose, if authors wrote only about what they had experienced, our literature would be 95% poorer than it is. How can one write books in historic settings if they didn't live there? How do books about future and space travel exist, if we live in 2021? Is it needed to be a part of mafia to write about mafia? What about other cultures? Should an American author write only about American people and American lifestyle or it's fine to have characters from other countries?

Writing is not about experiencing something and then making a fanfic or a book, it's more about research and compassion. If you have reliable info on your theme and are able to look at the world using different lenses, why not?

I don't perceive fanfiction as a worldwide evil. Sure, there are creepy examples as well as authors, who write fetishizing weird shit. But it doesn't mean that all fanfiction=bad and all slash fanfiction=objectification of male homosexuality. Fanfiction is just one form of fiction, it can be good or bad based on how it's written. But the label itself doesn't define anything, as well as reading it should not be a reason to accusations.

5) Jikook, shipping and politics

I'm among those, who perceive pretty much everything as a part of politics. We all exist within some political conventions and have certain political laws over our heads. And yes, it includes art. Even if an artist says something like "oh, I decided to stay away from politics, my work is beyond it". The decision to stay away from politics is also political, because apparently there was something within the political structure what made this artist say that and forced them to make this distinction between them and some institutional conventions.

And that makes me believe that shipping/supporting KM is also political. But I don't think it's necessarily bad? Basically, you decided to support potentially queer people from a country, which doesn't really approve LGBTQ+. It puts you in the opposition towards a particular government. You made a choice. You could google some SK stuff, read all that you mentioned in the beginning of your ask, and say something like "oh, that's not okay there? well, fair enough, I guess their government knows better"🤠 and forget that this KM thing even exists. But apparently you didn't

Imo, is it politics? Yes

Is it bad that it's politics? Well, no? 🙃

|

P.S. I hope I was clear enough with my ideas. Thank you again for the thought provoking ask, and I hope I'll hear from you again 🙂

And honestly, I don't think that you're problematic in any way :)

[popculty]

52 Films by Women: 2020 Edition

Another annual challenge complete!

Last year, I focused on diversifying my list. This year I kept that intention but focused on watching more non-American films and films from the 20th century. Specifically, I sought out Agnès Varda’s entire filmography, after her death in 2019. (I was not disappointed - What a filmmaking legend we lost.) 

I also kept a film log for the first time and have included some of my thoughts on several films from that log. I made a point of including reviews both positive and negative, because I think it’s important to acknowledge the variability and breadth of the canon, so as not to put every film directed by a woman on a pedestal. (Although movies directed by women must clear a much higher bar to be greenlit, meaning generally higher quality...But that’s an essay for another day :)

* = directed by a woman of color

bold = fave

1. The Rhythm Section (2020) dir. Reed Morano - Not as good as it could have been, given Morano’s proven skill behind the camera, but also not nearly as bad as the critics made it out to be. And unbelievably refreshing to see a female revenge story not driven by sexual assault or the loss of a husband/child.

2. Cléo de 5 à 7 (1962) dir. Agnès Varda - If you ever wanted to take a real-time tour of Paris circa 1960, this is the film for you.

3. Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig - Still my favorite Little Women adaptation. I will re-watch it every year and cry.

4. Varda by Agnès (2019) dir. Agnès Varda & Didier Rouget

5. Booksmart (2019) dir. Olivia Wilde - An instant classic high school comedy romp that subverts all the gross tropes of its 1980s predecessors.

6. Girls of the Sun (2018) dir. Eva Husson

7. Blue My Mind (2017) dir. Lisa Brühlmann

8. Portrait of a Lady On Fire (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma - Believe the hype. This film is a master thesis on the female gaze, and also just really effing gorgeous.

9. Belle Epine (2010) dir. Rebecca Zlotowski

10. Vamps (2012) dir. Amy Heckerling - With Krysten Ritter and Alicia Silverstone as modern-day vampires, I was so ready for this movie. But it feels like a bad stage play or a sit-com that’s missing a laugh-track. Bummer.

11. *Birds of Prey (2020) dir. Cathy Yan - Where has this movie been all our lives?? Skip the next onslaught of Snyder-verse grim-darkery and give me two more of these STAT! 

12. She’s Missing (2019) dir. Alexandra McGuinness

13. The Mustang (2019) dir. Laure de Clermont-Tonnere - Trigger warning for the “protagonist” repeatedly punching a horse in the chest. I noped right out of there.

14. Monster (2003) dir. Patty Jenkins – I first watched this movie when I was probably too young and haven’t revisited it since. The rape scene traumatized me as a kid, but as an adult I appreciate how that trauma is not the center of the movie, or even of Aileen’s life. Everyone still talks about how Charlize “went ugly” for this role, but the biggest transformation here isn’t aesthetic, it’s physical – the way Theron replicates Wuernos’ mannerisms, way of speaking, and physicality. That’s why she won the Oscar. I also love that Jenkins calls the film “Monster” (which everyone labels Aileen), but then actually uses it to tell the story of how she fell in love with a woman when she was at her lowest, and that saved her. That’s kind of beautiful, and I’m glad I re-watched it so that I could see the story in that light, instead of the general memory I had of it being a good, feel-bad movie. It’s so much more than that.

15. Water Lilies (2007) dir. Céline Sciamma – Sciamma’s screenwriting and directorial debut, the first in her trilogy on youth, is as painfully beautiful as its sequels (Tomboy and Girlhood). It’s also one of the rare films that explores the overlap of queerness and girl friendships.

16. The Trouble with Angels (1966) dir. Ida Lupino – Movies about shenanigan-based female friendships are such rare delights. Rosalind Russel is divine as Mother Superior, and Hayley Mills as “scathingly brilliant” as the pranks she plays on her. Ida Lupino’s skill as an editor only enhances her directing, providing some truly iconic visual gags to complement dialogue snappy enough for Gilmore Girls. 

17. Vagabond (1985) dir. Agnès Varda – Shot with a haunting realism, this film has no qualms about its heroine’s inevitable, unceremonious death, which it opens with, matter-of-factly, before retracing her final (literal) steps to the road-side ditch she ends up in. (I’m partly convinced said heroine was the inspiration for Sarah Manning in Orphan Black.)

18. One Sings, The Other Doesn’t (1977) dir. Agnès Varda – Probably my favorite classic Varda, this film feels incredibly personal. It’s essentially a love story about two best friends with very different lives. For an indie made in the ‘70s, the diversity, scope, and themes of the film are impressive. Even if the second half a drags a bit, the first half is absolute perfection, engaging the viewer immediately, and clipping along, sprinkling in some great original songs that were way progressive for their time (about abortion, female bodily autonomy, etc) and could still be considered “bangers” today.

19. Emma (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde

20. Black Panthers (1969) dir. Agnès Varda

21. Into the Forest (2016) dir. Patricia Rozema - When the world was ending (i.e. the pandemic hit) this was the first movie I turned to - a quiet, meditative story of two sisters (Elliot Page and Evan Rachel Wood) surviving off the land after a sudden global blackout. Four years later, it’s still one of my favorite book-to-screen adaptations. I fondly remember speaking with director Patricia Rozema at the 2016 Chicago Critics Film Festival after a screening, her love for the source material and desire to “get it right” so apparent. I assured her then, and reaffirm now, that she really did.

22. City of Trees (2019) dir. Alexandra Swarens

23. Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020) dir. Eliza Hittmann - To call this a harrowing and deeply personal journey of a sixteen-year-old who must cross state lines to get an abortion would be accurate, but incomplete. It is a story so much bigger than that, about the myriad ways women’s bodies and boundaries are constantly violated.

24. Paradise Hills (2019) dir. Alice Waddington

25. *Eve’s Bayou (1996) dir. Kasi Lemmons – I’ve been meaning to watch Kasi Lemmons’ directorial debut for many years now, and I’m so glad I finally have, because it fully deserves its icon status, beyond being one of the first major films directed by a black woman. Baby Jurnee Smollett's talent was immediately recognizable, and she has reminded us of it in Birds of Prey and Lovecraft Country this year. If merit was genuinely a factor for Oscar contenders, she would have taken home gold at eleven years old. Beasts of the Southern Wild has been one of my all-time favorites, but now I realize that most of my appreciation for that movie actually goes to Lemmons for blazing the trail with her story of a young black girl from the bayou first. It’s also a surprisingly dark story about memory and abuse and familial relationships that cross lines - really gutsy and surprising themes, especially for the ‘90s.

26. Blow the Man Down (2019) dir. Bridget Savage Cole & Danielle Krudy - Come and get your sea shanty fix!

27. Touchy Feely (2013) dir. Lynn Shelton - R.I.P. :(

28. Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (2020) dir. Madeleine Parry - If you thought Gadsby couldn’t follow up 2018′s sensational Nanette with a comedy special just as sharp and hilarious, you would have been sorely mistaken.

29. Girlhood (2013) dir. Céline Sciamma

30. Breathe (2014) dir. Mélanie Laurent

31. *A Dry White Season (1989) dir. Euzhan Palcy

32. Laggies (2014) dir. Lynn Shelton

33. *The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood – Everything I’ve ever wanted in an action movie: Immortal gays, Charlize Theron wielding a labrys (battle axe), kinetic fight choreography I haven’t seen since the last Bond movie…Watched it twice, then devoured the comics it was adapted from, and I gotta say: in the hands of black women, it eclipses the source material. Cannot wait for the just-announced sequel.

34. Morvern Callar (2002) dir. Lynn Ramsay

35. Shirley (2020) dir. Josephine Decker

36. *Radioactive (2019) dir. Marjane Satrapi – The story is obviously well worth telling and the narrative structure – weaving in the future consequences of Curie’s discoveries – is clever, but a bit awkwardly executed and overly manipulative. There are glimpses of real brilliance throughout, but it feels as if the director’s vision was not fully realized, to my great disappointment. Nonetheless, I appreciated seeing Marie Curie's story being told by a female director and embodied by the always wonderful Rosamund Pike.

37. *The Half of It (2020) dir. Alice Wu - I feel like a real scrooge for saying this, but this movie did nothing for me. Nothing about it felt fresh, authentic or relatable. A real disappointment from the filmmaker behind the wlw classic Saving Face.

38. Mouthpiece (2018) dir. Patricia Rozema - I am absolutely floored. One of those films that makes you fall in love with the art form all over again. Patricia Rozema continues to prove herself one of the most creatively ambitious and insightful directors of our time, with this melancholic meditation on maternal grief and a woman’s duality.

39. Summerland (2020) dir. Jessica Swale - The rare period wlw love story that is not a) all-white or b) tragedy porn. Just lovely.

40. *The Last Thing He Wanted (2020) dir. Dee Rees – As rumored, a mess. Even by the end, I still couldn’t tell you who any of the characters are. Dee, we know you’re so much better than this! (see: Mudbound, Pariah)

41. *Cuties (2020) dir. Maïmouna Doucouré – I watched this film to 1) support a black woman director who has been getting death threats for her work and 2) see what all the fuss is about. While I do think there were possibly some directorial choices that could have saved quite a bit of the pearl-clutching, overall, I didn’t find it overly-exploitative or gross, as many (who obviously haven’t actually watched the film) have labeled it. It certainly does give me pause, though, and makes me wonder whether children can ever be put in front of a camera without it exploiting or causing harm to them in some way. It also makes one consider the blurry line between being a critique versus being an example. File this one under complicated, for sure.

42. A Call to Spy (2019) Lydia Dean Pilcher – An incredible true story of female spies during WWII that perfectly satisfied my itch for British period drama/spy thriller and taught me so much herstory I didn’t know.

43. Kajillionaire (2020) dir. Miranda July - I was lucky enough to attend the (virtual) premiere of this film, followed by an insightful cast/director Q&A, which only made me appreciate it more. July's offbeat dark comedy about a family of con artists is queerer and more heartfelt than it has any right to be, and a needed reprieve in a year of almost entirely white wlw stories. The family's shenanigans are the hook, but it's the budding relationship between Old Dolio (an almost unrecognizable Evan Rachel Wood) and aspiring grifter Melanie (the luminous Gina Rodriguez) that is the heart of the story.

44. Misbehaviour (2020) dir. Philippa Lowthorpe – Again, teaching me herstory I didn’t know, about how the Women’s Liberation Movement stormed the 1970 Miss World Pageant. Keira Knightley and Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s characters have a conversation in a bathroom at the end of the film that perfectly eviscerates well-meaning yet ignorant white feminism, without ever pitting women against each other - a feat I didn’t think was possible. I also didn’t think it was possible to critique the male gaze without showing it (*ahem Cuties, Bombshell, etc*), but this again, invents a way to do it. Bless women directors.

45. *All In: The Fight for Democracy (2020) dir. Liz Garbus and Lisa Cortes – 2020’s 13th. Thank god for Stacey Abrams, that is all.

46. *The 40-Year-Old Version (2020) dir. Radha Blank – This scene right here? I felt that in my soul. This whole film is so good and funny and heartfelt and relatable to any artist trying to walk that tightrope of “making it” while not selling their soul to make it. My only initial semi-note was that it’s a little long, but after hearing Radha Blank talk about how she fought for the two-hour run-time as a way of reclaiming space for older black women, I take it back. She’s right: Let black women take up space. Let her movie be as long as she wants it to be. GOOD FOR HER.

47. Happiest Season (2020) dir. Clea Duvall - Hoooo boy. What was marketed as the first lesbian Christmas rom-com is actually a horror movie for anyone who’s ever had to come out. Throw in casual racism and a toxic relationship treated as otp, and it’s YIKES on so many levels. Aubrey Plaza, Dan Levy, and an autistic-coded Jane are the only (underused) highlights.

48. *Monkey Beach (2020) dir. Loretta Todd

49. *Little Chief (2020) dir. Erica Tremblay – A short film part of the 2020 Red Nation Film Festival, it’s a perfect eleven minutes that I wish had gone on longer, if only to bask in Lily Gladstone in a leading role.

50. First Cow (2019) dir. Kelly Reichardt – I know Kelly Reichardt’s style, so I’ll admit-- even as I was preparing for an excellent film, I was also reaching for my phone, planning on only half paying attention during all the inevitable 30-second shots of grass blowing in the wind. (And yes, there are plenty of those.) But twenty minutes in, my phone was set aside and forgotten, as I am getting sucked into this beautiful story about two frontiersman trying to live their best domestic life.There is only one word to describe this film and that is: PURE. I’ve never seen such a tender platonic relationship between men on screen before, and it’s not lost on me that it took a woman to show us that tenderness. Reichardt gives us two men brought together by fate, and kept together by a shared dream and the simple pleasure of not being alone in such a hard world; two men who spend their days cooking, trapping, baking, and dreaming of a better life; two men who don’t say much, but feel everything for each other. The world would be a much better place if men showed us this kind of vulnerability and friendship toward each other. Oh, and it’s also a brutal take-down of capitalism and the myth of the American Dream!

51. Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) dir. Patty Jenkins - My most-anticipated film for the past two years was...well, a mixed bag, to say the least. Too many thoughts on it for a blog post, so stay tuned for the upcoming podcast ep where we go all in ;)

52. *Selah and the Spades (2019) dir. Tayarisha Poe

I hope this gives you some ideas to kick off your new year with a resolution to support more female directors!

What were your favorite women-directed movies of last year? Let me know in the tags, comments, or asks!

[eatingdisorderconfession]

I have no idea if this is an appropriate outlet for this but I really need to get it off my chest and there are limited people I can talk to about this without outing my ex. One of the biggest issues in our relationship is that she constantly made me feel like I wasn’t “mentally ill enough” and that’s something I’ve discussed quite openly with my friends. But I’ve also realised that she also had a narrative that I wasn’t “queer enough” as a cis lesbian. Like she literally told me that the AIDS crisis “isn’t really your history to claim or get upset about” and the worst part of it is that I have no idea if she’s right or not?? I know I let her walk all over me occasionally because her trauma was worse than mine but I truly don’t even know how to process how she made me feel about my queer identity. I don’t know. Sorry guys, I just needed an anonymous forum for advice on this 💕 love to you all

Hi, anon.

I generally don't think that comparing trauma is a good idea, not only because of the difficulties in drawing lines (i.e. what is to be considered moderate trauma and what is to be considered great trauma) but also because we as individuals have such different capacities for dealing with trauma. Some have underlying mental or physical health issues that might make a comparatively "small" traumatic event that much harder to cope with and others have strong support systems or are lucky enough to live in a place with ample access to mental health resources etc.

Her telling you that you're not mentally ill enough sounds incredibly minimizing of her. Struggling with mental illness is hard enough in and of itself without being told by loved ones that you're not "bad enough". Again, this is something that happens frequently in the eating disorder community too: people tell themselves, or others, that they're not sick enough and therefore don't deserve help.

As for her questioning your queer identity, I think we do need to remember that there are a lot of prejudices towards each other inside the queer community. There's the biphobia and transphobia from other members, POC who are targeted by racism and so on. Being queer does not mean one is immune to being prejudiced, that goes for your ex as well. I'm not saying that you are biased, because I do not know you, I'm just trying to shine a light on the fact that there are oppositions within this community as well. Her telling you that you're not allowed to be upset by the AIDS crisis sounds unreasonable to me. One doesn't have to have personally experienced a thing to be able to understand that it was bad and to wish it hadn't happened. Yes, you might not have the same connection to it that a gay man living in the 80s would have had but to me (a non-binary, bisexual inidividual) that doesn't mean you can't mourn the tragedy and stand beside other queer people in the effort to remember those who fell victim to it and to try and prevent something like it from happening again.

I think of it in a similar way that I think of my responsibility as a white person in the anti-racist movement. I don't want to talk over POC, but I also don't want to remain silent in some false belief that it's "none of my business". So what I do try to do is be mindful of who I follow on social media so that I don't end up with a 90% white feed, I sign petitions and read and reblog things from people who actually do face racism, I donate to organizations, I confront family members who say racist things, and I do my best to take critique when people tell me that something I'm doing or saying is harmful so that I might learn and be better. And I am definitely upset when I hear/see racist things because I sympathize/empathize.

Your ex does not get to tell you that you're not mentally ill enough, and she does not get to decide that you sexual identity isn't queer enough. I hope that you'll reach a point where you're comfortable with your identity.

Take care.

- Julia

[remythologise]

a show in recent memory that actually did stick the landing was she-ra: the hero realized they actually deserved to live their life instead of constantly sacrificing themselves and the show ended on an open note with all the characters deciding to go on further adventures together. and i think the biggest factor for that is that noelle comes from fandom and gets it. all these other writers come from a grimdark "tragedy is deep" generation.

(and i say that as someone who hasn't watched she-ra but observed that the ending they got is an ending many shows would have benefitted from, like supernatural or the magicians)

I loved everything about the ending of she-ra and I literally kept posting that screencap of Mara talking to Adora saying ‘you are worth more than what you can give to other people; you deserve happiness too’ being like JACK AND DEAN AND CAS HELLLOOOOOOOOOO. Gingerhazing simply gets it!

Having said that though I do think she-ra is not the best comparison here because it is a very queer-friendly kids show run by a queer creator from fandom and I’m not necessarily sure that will lead to a shift in all media, or translates across to adult shows who are trying to be mature... however, for the 4958th time tonight... Black Sails proves you can do both!!! Spartacus proves you don’t have to bury your gays even if you bury literally the entire rest of the cast you can STILL have a message of change and legacy and impact of the story and hope!!! SPN simply didn’t try to say anything deep in the final episode at all ♥️ Hopefully with more diverse writer’s rooms we can shift the culture on these fandom-heavy shows but it’s sad that it’s too little too late for SPN, which frankly had... I think, the most important and impactful fandom legacy that we will see for a while or possibly ever again. Shame. They had the ‘we write our own stories now beyond what is expected of us by convention’ right there for an imparting message to the fans and yet they just SAILED RIGHT PAST IT.... to say..... NOTHING.......... inspirational 

[alikriegxr]

ASHLYN HARRIS AND ALI KRIEGER: GET TO KNOW THE USA PLAYERS’ LOVE STORY

They’re beautiful. They’re strong. They’re tattoed. They’re represented by Elite NYC. They’re going to marry each other. Ashlyn Harris, goalkeeper for the US Women’s National Team, and Ali Krieger, who plays on defense, got engaged in September after dating for 9 years. The wedding will happen at the end of the year in Florida, where they both play for the Orlando Pride.

Ashlyn and Ali talked to Bazaar about the wedding, empowerment, soccer and... about what they’re going to wear to the ceremony. “We always agreed that when someone is willing to live life with honesty, it gives them power”, said Ashlyn about the decision to announce the engagement on social media and, finally, clear up the situation to whoever still doubted that they are a couple.

But it’s not only about individual power that they’re talking about. Ash and Ali, how they refer to each other, live in Orlando, where, on June 12th 2016, at the gay club Pulse, happened the worst mass shooting of USA’s history, leaving 49 deaths and 58 injured. “After the national tragedy that was the Pulse attack, it became even more important for us to come out, to join our community and show young people that hate and fear won’t win.”

The wedding, they say, won’t be huge. “We want an intimate ceremony.” We already know that their teammates, who they consider “family”, will be invited. At least one of them we know well: our Marta, who has played for the american club since 2017. “Our teammates always had our backs. After we decided to make our engagement public, we noticed a huge support from the fans and the general public. We noticed that people were way more willing to support us than to disapprove of us. That shows how our society as a whole is evolving.”

I mentioned that, in Brazil, women’s soccer still hasn’t achieved the same respect and space as the men - Marta is the only exception. “My dad played soccer and so did my brother, so playing soccer was natural for me”, said Ali. “I fell in love with the sport at a really young age and I still love it very much.”

That was also Ashlyn’s case. “I discovered my passion for soccer when I was still a little girl, with my older brother, and that’s when I realized I have talent for the game.”

This Tuesday (06/11) at 4pm [brazilian time], the north american team will have its debut on the Women’s World Cup in France. Current and biggest champion with 3 titles, the american team is the main favorite. Who knows when it will be time for Ashlyn to save Marta’s precise shots? “We’re going to practice a lot to be ready. I’d risk saying that by the nature of the game, we (female athletes) practice just as much or even more than the men.”

To relax, Ash and Ali like to go out for dinner with friends, spend the day on the beach or watch a movie. “A perfect day for us is that rare occasion when we don’t have any commitments and we can just plan the day as it goes”, says Ali.

They plan on having kids, but for now they’re focused on caring for their giant mastiff dog, called Logan. “She’s our baby.” Without giving many details, they told me they have matching tattoos, but not related to them as a couple. “The USWNT decided to get matching tattoos a couple years ago. That’s it for now”, said Ashlyn.

The question is: who will be wearing a dress and who will have a suit at the wedding? Or will it be 2 dresses? Or 2 suits? They hinted: “You will have to wait until the end of the year to know the details.”

[amourlamonde16]

Dragon Prince

(Maybe an unpopular opinion?)

So, I’ve seen some stuff saying that the Dragon Prince is bad with its LGBT representation. While everyone is entitled to their own opinion I’d like to express a few of mine. Feel free to disagree. (PS this may get a little bit spoiler-y so just skip over if you are worried. I tried not to give anything away but it’s hard not to)

First, the deaths.

A lot of the LGBT characters die in the Dragon Prince (I mean I actually count only like 3, one of whom may not actually be dead but ya know...), but unlike many shows where this is done specifically as baiting (ahem- Voltron), the reason this happens is because a lot of characters die in TDP. The deaths aren’t strictly with LGBT characters, they are with all characters, and any of your favorites have the potential to parish. If it were specifically LGBT characters who died and no one else I would understand any anger, but that just isn’t the case here. Also, the deaths that do happen are treated with the utmost respect, because all the deaths in TDP are. Funerals and statues. Proper mourning from loved ones... All of this matters. Here’s some food for thought as well; Just because a character is gay doesn’t mean they should be immune to harm and that the storytellers should avoid killing them off because of it, just like they shouldn’t make the choice to kill them off because of their sexual orientation either. They aren’t immortal in this context, no one is. What matters most is a compelling story that treats all characters brought into it with the utmost respect.

The Kisses

My biggest bullet point against people who think TDP is an example of bad LGBT rep is the kiss scenes. Can we talk about how the writers of TDP are completely unashamed to show LGBT characters in love and kissing on screen? They give it the same spotlight as any of the other non LGBT couples and it genuinely makes me feel so good. As someone in an LGBT relationship I was genuinely and pleasantly surprised by how casual it all was treated. Like it was normal, because it is. That speaks volumes about how they see their LGBT characters. They see them as... Characters. As a LGBT viewer I feel great deal of respect from Aaron Ehasz (one of the creators of TDP and the head writer of Avatar the Last Airbender for anyone who doesn’t know) and his writing team towards their LGBT audience. We are treated like everyone else, and so he treats his LGBT characters like everyone else, and it’s about goddamn time.

The Big Picture

The team working on TDP knows what they are doing. They are telling a spiraling narrative that is not yet resolved, and LGBT characters are an integral part of the story because characters are an integral part of the story. And death, just like in our actual lives, does not discriminate... Especially not in war. Most importantly, character death has an incredible impact on the story of TDP and on the characters that live during the events of the main plot line. You can point out the deaths of the Queens of Duren maybe being unnessasary, but I would argue without that tragedy their daughter would not be present to make the decisions that she made, which ultimately turned the tides during the last few episodes of season 3. And Raylas parents are another example of this, being the saviors of the dragon egg in the end; as well as the death of Callum and Ezran’s mother being a catalyst for pretty much the entirety of the main plot line. I also have a feeling we will be seeing Runaan in the next season... Since they called specific attention to it.

It’s easy for us to see a show trying to make a good attempt and to not recognize it or scorn it at first glance, but if we want LGBT characters to be treated like everyone else we have to look at how the other characters are being treated. We need to look at the themes of the story and the subtext. The subtext in TDP is that any and all death out of violence creates a cycle of pain and intolerance and war, but it is the job of the next generations to not be tied back by the tragedies of our past and to strive for a peaceful future. It gets to the point of this being a spoken theme in the show, and both Aanya and Ezran are the examples of this respectively. Characters in TDP don’t have to be LGBT, but they are because the show runners actually give a caboodle about them as characters. The relationships make sense and anyone who has been lost is mourned and the tragedy is usually the driving force behind the actions of those still alive who loved them, for better or for worse. For a show that isn’t strictly about any kind of LGBT experience, it sure warms my heart for them to show so proudly that Love is Love in the TDP cannon.

[rayveos]

Why ‘Guilty Crown’ Remains To Be My Favorite Anime

HELL YES THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO GUILTY CROWN. 

And before you tell me how many flaws this anime have and how unsatisfying the ending was, I want to remind you that this is an appreciation post for this underrated anime. No hate comment could change my mind since I’ve watched it back on 2016. 

Shall we go back to the main point now? 

PLOT. Alright. Like any other animes, Guilty Crown had its flaws too. However, I’m sure you can’t deny that a character who started as a coward (in the beginning of the anime itself) obtaning a ‘Power of Kings’ is something. And it’s not your usual power that you can match on other abilities of our favorite hollywood heroes and comics champions. His power is basically drawing people’s hearts out and materializing them into voids which can be useful weapons and necessities. And these voids reflect its owners’ fears, personality, and character. 

***VOIDS. It’s like, “what will your heart look like if it was an object?” Personally, I’m in love with Inori’s beautiful Singer’s Sword while the explanation behind Shu’s always breaks me. They didn’t specifically elaborate why Inori’s is a sword but let’s remind ourselves that Inori was originally created as a vessel to contain Mana’s mind. So, I guess the Singer’s Sword is also an animation of Mana’s heart too. 

What I find interesting about the Singer’s Sword is that it contains strong abilities such as being a protective barrier for its carrier and as the sharpest longsword. I can’t help but always fangirl on the first episode wherein the sword is too powerful that it could create a huge flash of light up to the skies. There’s also one in the fourth episode wherein it can destroy anything it will touch onto, regardless of the direction of its attack. 

ANIMATION. I’m not that of an expert, technically speaking. You may hate or bash this anime you want but dude, it’s one of the prettiest animations you could ever see. I don’t know if it’s just me but the waves coming from anyone who possesses the power of the Void Genome and Inori when she’s singing are like the black transparent tapes on cassettes. The colors are wonderfully chosen too as they’re not flashy or painful to watch. 

If I’m going to choose my favorite episodes that contain the best animations of it, I would choose the first, second, fourth, nineteenth, and the last episode. The place where there is like a flower garden, the one where Shu and Inori spends their alone time after taking leadership of the school, is also gorgeous. The glow on that scene emphasizes how genuine their love is and how beautifully flawed Shu’s character behind his fierce leadership (of course, Hare). 

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Sure, there are characters that go back and forth from being good to bad and vice versa. It may be uncomfortable to some but as for me, I think it’s pretty realistic in some aspects. Yes, this is supposed-to-be an anime. Nevertheless, it doesn’t invalidate the creators’ desire to put more reality in it. Sometimes, I think the other viewers are reacting the way they did on Akame ga Kill. 

In wars, just like how the setting of the Guilty Crown is post-apocalyptic and on the verge of having another one, casualties are quite understandable. Student Council President Kohouin also had her change of heart when she fell in love with Gai and when she ended up envying the studentry’s support to Shu after he proposed an action plan. It’s natural that an elite daughter of the family who has been the center of attention for a long time to turn to the bad side when the spotlight was taken from her. Ayase’s moving on moment is also a strike. She didn’t succumb to her guilt and sadness for losing Gai. Instead, she asked help from Shu to prove to herself that she is indeed useful. 

The best character development award goes to Shu, obviously. When he was a kid, he’s this jolly person who encourages others to be courageous and brave. After the tragedy the Lost Christmas inflicted, there’s no doubt that it will traumatize him and became this isolated person we get introduced on the first episode. Living in the shadows like that for years, there’s a tendency that they get well-attached to the first person who gave them attention and faith, hence his growing affection to Inori. 

The naivety on Shu’s side during Gai’s planning of operation is on point too. That would be the first reaction of ignorant people who believes that everything should be solved with peace and diplomacy. Again, on their time, it was chaotic and there are abusive officials that plan on bringing the next apocalypse. The way he stood up for the Funeral Parlor members after Gai died fell on the right place too. He was influenced by Gai and I’m sure that after everything what happened and after remembering his past, he won’t let others get harassed or hurt too. 

Hare’s death remains to be the biggest turning point for me. Given her strong belief to Shu’s kindness, she’s like a symbolism of Shu’s good side, the part that kept Shu’s inner struggles in check. When she died and Shu declared to become king, I clapped until the episode ends. The subsequent display of his flaws as a human is wonderful. His wrath, the cold treatment, the way he controlled the school and its students. I’m not saying they are nice things. BUT they kept his development moving. It’s not about embracing the bad side but accepting it as a part of you. It’s an ugliness that even Inori recognized as beautiful because in the end, the world has both its beauty and flaws, like a human being.

MUSIC. I will fight anyone who tells me that this anime’s soundtrack is not good. All of the songs they used in the anime are in my playlists! My personal favorite is Bios and Departure Blessings though. I remember I have a friend who has a similar voice to Inori’s voice actress. We became friends because we’re both in love with Guilty Crown. She would sing Departure Blessings a lot when we walk together. 

ENDING. As much as I’d like for Shu to die with Inori, the ending didn’t disappoint me or anything. Actually, when I read its summary and explanation, it made sense. It was an unexpected sacrifice from Inori as she have always preferred to be together with Shu. Even so, we have to admit that they are the most unfortunate pair. Inori is human-made vessel for someone else. Someone who is supposed to be emotionless and everlastingly obedient. Meanwhile, Shu is the Adam that Mana appointed even he was still on their mother’s womb. He was already destined to yield the power of the king. I think the reason why Gai is furious when Shu took the power on the first episode is not because he wants it to be his. He’s only making sure that Shu won’t suffer the fate he is destined to have due to Mana’s mind deterioration back then— which is to be the next Adam and bring forth the next generation and its evolution. 

That is why them being the couple in the center of all chaos, taking back all the virus’ traces and giving back the voids he used, made perfectly sense. The song ‘Release my soul’ is also a tribute to their love story. Since Inori is not really supposed to exist via natural means, I understand how she chose to allow Shu to continue living instead of dying with her. Shu is still young, after all. He has a future waiting for him, one that Inori can’t possibly have naturally because in the first place, she is not human. You do remember that part when she went berserk, right? 

As for the blindness, it came from Inori who was on that time was consumed by Mana. Mana being affected by Inori’s interference on the final battle, the physical body they share was greatly infected by the virus that it caused blindness. When Shu decided to take everything on his hands to end it once and for all, he also took Inori’s blindness as a part of sacrificing themselves. It’s Inori’s last minute sacrifice that mattered. The red threads which are symbolism of destiny/fate are also the same object that tangled Shu’s and Inori’s fates forever. By taking this, Shu also took Inori’s soul before it can also be destroyed along with her physical body. The blindness is simply a reminder that Inori was there. It was Inori’s blindness. It’s a bittersweet ending. The body no longer exists but her soul remains with the one she loves. Together, in the inner mind and consciousness, they are on each other’s arms. 

Credits to the owners of these photos. I do not own anything except for this long appreciation post. 

[blackcur-rants]

My biggest fear for "The Stand" as a miniseries

My favourite aspect of "The Stand" as a story is that it acts as a refutation of the whole "Humanity is the real monster"/"Kill the monsters to protect your own" thing seen in so much other post-apocalyptic fiction. Instead it's a story about the importance of building love and community in the wake of tragedy and how people can discover their best selves even amidst unimaginable horror. I know a lot of people don't like Flagg's kingdom in Las Vegas being blown up by a random explosion (and yeah, that part was a little Deus Ex Machina), but I personally adore the bittersweet note of the book's actual ending (The world will always be broken and flawed,the best we can do is try and make it a little better for those who will come after us and do what we can to fix the sins of previous generations). My big worry is that the miniseries will throw away all of these great themes and ideas and instead turn this entire story into little more than another post-apocalyptic action story wherein Flagg is defeated not through his own hubris/the heroes refusing to be afraid of him and his tyranny, but by one of the heroes (probably Stu) punching him to death in a Big Epic Battle Scene that probably looks like TV quality CGI anyway and then nobody has to sacrifice anything or there's some stupid extra-shock twist about Mother Abagail being an evil religious fanatic who has to be killed so that the Free Zone can become a new version of capitalist America again...wait, wrong show. So Josh Boone, don't ruin this one. Please keep and update the wonderful themes and characters of the original (seriously, make Larry Underwood gay or bisexual, please. And I would love it if you could create a love story between Tom and Nick. Just please do right by this book, I'm begging you). grownups-are-the-real-monsters solowoohooinpillowfort victor-criss the-barrens-are-ours

[sazerexwritessmut]

UPDATE on Hunter of Huntresses’ future... (and my writing, and my life...)

Hunter of Huntresses:

First thing I want to make clear: I’m not going to abandon the project. Like I said, I’ll write it till I feel satisfied with the conclusion. So I will update the series till I am comfortable with the ending I want––good things don’t last forever after all. Moreover, if I force myself to write, my work’s quality will suffer as well.

Writing:

I really enjoy writing. What started out as a way of productive procrastination became a full-blown series due to the many readers of my smut. I am eternally grateful to those people who support, criticize, and comment. Our interactions on Tumblr messaging (though few) and the comments section on my work have been very motivating. As Daniel Pink theorized: the best motivation for specialized laborers include autonomy, purpose, and mastery. Because of my fans, I gained a purpose, improved my mastery, yet maintained my autonomy.

However, I recently encountered my first instance of...writer’s block? Well it wasn’t a full block, more of a “I just finished my exams, my grades aren’t what I want them to be, Imma take a break.” kind of block. So yeah, I got lazy. Sorry.

But that won’t stop my commitment to finishing and completing a series, so don’t worry. What it does show, however, is how I can lose motivation quickly. As embarrassingly as it is, I’m human too. I got other hobbies outside writing, such as drawing and gaming, which I’ll discuss later. Primarily, I want to talk about me writing, in general.

A bunch of friends and I have conceptualized this...well, universe of sorts. Sort of a like an anthology or series centered around a unifying main character of sorts. Maybe if we get shit done (which two of them have already made content), I can post it here...but no promises. I like to keep my smut-writing and personal interests separate. As I said, I really like writing. So working on this shitshow may become a tragedy for smut updates. I’ll try not to let it get to that.

Fanfiction is something I want to bust into, as well. I’ve got a rough idea for a Blake x Jaune fanfic, might include smut, but more plot-centered than the smut I post. I may or may not get to it. Someone said I was like the Coeur Al’Aran of RWBY smut. I guess I’m more similar to him than I thought, especially since I like Blake’s character and want to capitalize on Jaune’s lack of character development. Blake pre-Volume 4 was one of my favorite characters for potential development mainly because of how mysterious she was. 

You can skip the parenthesis text.

(I don’t really ship Bumblebee because I just physically can’t. I’m the type of straight male who can’t get off to gay porn of any sort; guy on guy, girl on girl, dickgirl on guy, dickgirl on girl, etc. I just can’t. Like a lot of straight guys talk about lesbian porn but I’m just there wondering how the fuck does that turn you on? Literally just two girls and a dildo, it’s over-complicated sexual intercourse. I don’t fuck with futanari bullshit because I think it’s the biggest turn-off for me, excluding gay male porn. So yeah, sorry if I came off as homophobic, I guess. Funny thing is, I’ve got gay friends whom I hang out with simply because we watch the same anime, read the same manga. And they don’t get the big deal about gay porn either. Some of them watches hetero-porn exclusively, like me. Anyway, I’m rambling.)

Okay parenthesis text over.

But enough about fiction and fanfiction, let’s talk about smut. I’ve got a fuckton of ideas apart from Hunter of Huntresses that I would like to write about. These include various themes and tags, such as loving sex, or tentacles, BDSM, and even NTR. While some of these aren’t most people’s cup of tea, I want to write what I want to write––I’ve got ideas for stuff like Naruto, The Incredibles, and others. My next work would most definitely be Mass Effect content. Look forward to that once I slow down on Hunter of Huntresses a bit. I do have a bunch of outlines for more RWBY smut as well, so those who came for fics about Jaune dicking girls down, rejoice. I still have a few independent and not-so independent ideas from Hunter of Huntresses. Like for example, Ren fucking RWBY MILFS set in a stereotypical American high school setting.

Life:

I’ve got a shitload of free time...in a sense. My college days tentatively start in August, and right now I just need to watch out for Graduation practice from my high school and Evaluation Exams in May. That means I can update more, right?

Meh.

I’ve got hobbies and social life too––the former including drawing and gaming. I’ve recently picked up drawing again, a hobby I put off for two whole years due to enrolling into a much harder high school curriculum––something I slightly regret due to how shitty the curriculum was executed by my school. I literally did not have a Physics teacher for eight class sessions. What the fuck. So now I got back into drawing, both traditional and digital, mainly because of a girl I met who totally whipped me and I may or may not have a slight crush on her because she’s probably the most perfect girl I’ve met and I’m praying this attraction isn’t fatal but holy shit I’m drawing just to impress her.

As for gaming, I play League of Legends a lot. People say it’s cancer, I tell them it isn’t cancer if you’re playing with the right friends. And let me tell you: losing streaks with friends is far more fun than having a solo winning streak. I used to spend all night gaming, sleeping at two in the morning on weekends. This stopped when I enrolled in the aforementioned curriculum. I consciously made an effort to study harder and quit League of Legends, and it paid off, mostly.

TL;DR and Synthesis:

So overall, these are the factors which may affect the future of my writing ‘career’ or something: other writing pursuits, and other hobbies, and the upcoming college freshman year in August.

P.S. Don’t worry about my mental health, ayt? I’m fine, really. I’ve known suicidal people who have actually attempted self-harm, and trust me, the problems I have aren’t ones that would actually make me kill myself. I’ve got a lot of things going for me right now. As Papa Franku detested, I am “high on life, I don’t need to get high on drugs”.

Sorry if the post got a bit rant-y or smth. I just needed to explain shit to the fullest.

[readmorepoets]

Would you be willing to give your full thoughts on Giovanni’s Room?

hi, yes, definitely! so basically i’m gonna copy/paste what i wrote on goodreads for it and expand a little bit for you:

1) james baldwin constructs a sentence like nobody else. and he packs so much info and description into a sentence but he does it so beautifully and none of them were ever clumsy. I’M a clumsy reader, i’ll call myself clumsy a thousand times before i ever call a single word baldwin uses as clumsy. also i want to say that the first sentence is ONE OF MY FAVORITE FIRST SENTENCES EVER: “I stand at the window of this great house in the south of France as night falls, the night which is leading me to the most terrible morning of my life.” and it’s like he somehow writes these sentences with a million commas and semicolons and you just love it. you love it. some sentences are short and some are really long and they’re all beautiful.2) THE BIGGEST DISSERVICE WE CAN DO TO THE WORLD IS LIE TO OURSELVES. when you lie to yourself, hide yourself from you, bury our truths under falsehoods and fears….. we are hurting ourselves and hurting the world around us. there’s nothing else but to live honestly & face our truths, whatever they may be. running from the truth gives it power and it always always comes back to us (like the little pieces of the ripped letter came back to david in the last sentence). it’s really truly sad like nothing else how the whole tragedy of the story, beside their living conditions and near-poverty, beside the time period, beside anything… the whole tragedy was david being so afraid (of love, of the truth at the bottom of his heart) that he pretty much ruined giovanni’s life, hella’s life, guillaume’s  life and his own (???, he SOMEHOW tries to sound hopeful for the rest of his life at the end of the book but like, i can’t see it). baldwin himself says something to this effect when he says that “[the book] is what happens if you are so afraid that you finally cannot love anybody.’’ 

3) baldwin has such a clear insight into HOW people think that it puts my ~1.5 years of studying psychology to shame. he’s really good at describing mental states and emotions. he somehow makes his characters and their motivations really clear, but not because they are simple, rather he just knows how to write something really complex, really clearly.

4) when you understand the significance of giovanni’s room……. that’s when the real pain kicks in. it sounds like a horror story but: david can never escape the room. HE CANNOT.

(here is one thing i didn’t like: the perception and descriptions of women, the misogyny…. and ok i know it’s at most times like, a reflection of david’s own internalized homophobia & toxic masculinity at work but still, it was something that took me out sometimes. also giovanni’s misogyny sometimes?! it just reminded me in a really bad way of “picture of dorian gray”. i could have done without it for sure. coming from hella i understand it, it’s internalized sexism, ok, when she for example says that she thinks the only thing she’s made to do is have babies and how she can be herself only when someone HAS her (marries her) because that’s her character: she’s really confused about everything. it’s ok. but from david and giovanni and the other (mostly gay) guys…. no no. there’s also a lot of generalizations going on about gay men, one dichotomy that was uncomfortable, but again i think that’s more a reflection of the times and the setting and the personal struggles the characters have with accepting their identities rather than any prejudices reflecting from baldwin himself)

ok anyway i recommend it wholeheartedly. give it a chance, read it. it’s not that long, it’s really interesting and very sad but engaging! pay attention to the tenses changing and how david jumps around in time while telling his story!!!!!!! read it out loud, too, because it’s very fun and sounds so beautiful. it’s a lyrical insight into the:

~*~ THE HUMAN CONDITION ~*~

thank you for asking me this question, anon!! (we could do this again sometime. i’ll let you know the stuff i’m reading)

[01sentencereviews]

when i started the 8th grade, youtube had only been around for two years. it was so new. it’s virtual glow felt somehow forbidden to the unexposed teenager. what am i watching? how did i even get here? i had friendships entirely devoted to watching the same five liam kyle sullivan videos on a repeated loop. i drew salad fingers in pencil for a school art project. i would spend hours watching others play "through the fire and flames" (expert level!) on guitar hero iii. i looked for gay “youtubers” (this word didn’t exist yet) in private and made myself feel guilty for doing so, continuing to hate myself for the same qualities i will eventually learn to love and cherish the most. 

social media has become synonymous with "how one lives life.” it exposes just as much as it shares/communicates, overwhelming us with information about anything + everyone, most fascinatingly/frighteningly the people immediately surrounding us. this hyper-exposure is a lot for anyone to experience, especially someone young, someone who has just learned how to “properly adapt,” likely by learning how to regress, hide, mimic, defend. it’s always hard when you realize others see you just as much as you “see” yourself. even though our participation on social media is a choice, that “choice” to participate sometimes seems out of one’s control. it’s like some invisible forced upon impulse or instinct. before we realize it, it’s already done. we’re already involved. we’re already “participating.” (because we want to, right?) young people today certainly seem more exposed than ever before. they’re exposed to perhaps endless information, true/false/manipulated history, cursed/sensationalized/beautiful/incomprehensible imagery, traditional global/national/regional cultures, and underground (or online) fandoms/communities. exposure, though often rewarding, can sometimes encourage or initiate anxiety, especially when one’s most imminent exposure is likely consumed by any random person they could potentially run into during their everyday lives: their classmates, friends, friends-of-friends, and even those who simply look familiar. 

...these fears aren’t necessarily “new” for young people, even if new technologies are now in play. young people have always felt surveilled. we may be more aware of our lack of privacy (perhaps too unaffected by that realization), but that haunted feeling of being watched and being “on edge” has always existed and will continue to linger. we’re all scared all the time, no matter what age. every new fear, every new emotional setback, always feels the most excruciating when first experienced. eventually, some things get easier. slowly, not evenly, but eventually some things do. 

bo burnham’s eighth grade reminds us that even for this uniquely visible generation, their (our) biggest fears remain similar to the fears every generation has hoped to overcome: how can i be less alone (more wanted); how can i feel more secure; how can i finally be understood? we fight ourselves endlessly when “failing” to discover these “unknowable” answers. exposure creates awareness, so shouldn’t our awareness of ourselves be just as instantaneous as all other information? where are these answers? shouldn’t we know them by now? it’s not the fault of young people for suffering with these questions. it’s all we know to do: question, doubt. we all need to do better in taking those tiny, necessary moments of self-reflection to remind us to stop punishing ourselves for not being sure... because we will find new ways to adapt. we will continue to learn more about ourselves, who we’ve been and who we are destined to become (at least in that particular moment)... we usually do. “you can’t be brave if you’re not scared.” learning to be there for someone else could be a good place to start. 

this film somehow has me reminiscing about a period in my life i had already deemed a personal tragedy. “look how far i’ve come!” it made me feel better about where i’ve been and where i’m going, and for that alone, i’m thankful to have it :)

[oscopelabs]

Elvis, Truelove and the Stolen Boy: The Tragic Machismo of Nick Cassavetes’ ‘Alpha Dog’ by Amy Nicholson

[Last year, Musings paid homage to Produced and Abandoned: The Best Films You’ve Never Seen, a review anthology from the National Society of Film Critics that championed studio orphans from the ‘70s and ‘80s. In the days before the Internet, young cinephiles like myself relied on reference books and anthologies to lead us to films we might not have discovered otherwise. Released in 1990, Produced and Abandoned was a foundational piece of work, introducing me to such wonders as Cutter’s Way, Lost in America, High Tide, Choose Me, Housekeeping, and Fat City. (You can find the full list of entries here.) Our first round of Produced and Abandoned essays included Angelica Jade Bastién on By the Sea, Mike D’Angelo on The Counselor, Judy Berman on Velvet Goldmine, and Keith Phipps on O.C. and Stiggs. Today, Musings concludes our month-long round of essays about tarnished gems, in the hope they’ll get a second look. Or, more likely, a first. —Scott Tobias, editor.]

A decade before the presidency that elevated insults like “betacuck” and “soyboy” into political discourse, Nick Cassavetes made Alpha Dog, a cautionary tragedy about masculinity that audiences ignored. Time for a reappraisal. Alpha Dog is about a real murder. Over a three-day weekend in August of 2000, 15-year-old Zach Mazursky—in reality, named Nicholas Markowitz—is kidnapped and killed by the posse of 20-year-old San Fernando Valley drug dealer Johnny Truelove (Emile Hirsch) with a grudge against Zach’s older brother. No one thought the boy would die, not his main babysitter Frankie (Justin Timberlake), not the girls invited to party with “Stolen Boy,” and not even the boy himself, played with naive perfection by Anton Yelchin, who played video games and pounded beers assuming that his new captor-friends would eventually take him home.

Cassavetes’ daughter went to the same high school as Nicholas Markowitz. The murderers were neighborhood kids and he wanted to understand how fortunate sons with their whole lives ahead of them wound up in prison. The trigger man, Ryan Hoyt—“Elvis” in the film—had never even gotten a speeding ticket. Prosecutor Ron Zonen hoped the publicity around Alpha Dog would help the public spot the real-life Johnny, named Jesse James Hollywood, who was still on the lam despite being one of America’s Most Wanted. So the lawyers gave Cassavetes access to everything: crime scene photos, trial transcripts, psychological profiles, police reports, and their permission to contact the criminals and their parents. Cassavetes even took his actors to meet their counterparts, driving Justin Timberlake to a maximum security prison to get the vibe of the actual Frankie, and introducing Sharon Stone to Nicholas Markowitz’s mother, a broken woman who attempted suicide a dozen times in the years after her son's death.

Alpha Dog, pronounced Cassavetes, was “95 percent accurate.” Which was part of why it got buried, thanks to Jesse James Hollywood’s arrest just weeks after the film wrapped. Cassavetes hastily wrote a new ending to the movie, but his problems were just beginning. Hollywood’s lawyers insisted Alpha Dog would prevent their client from getting a fair trial, and used the threat of a mistrial to force Zonen off the case. “I don't know what Zonen was thinking, handing over the files,” gloated Hollywood’s defense team. “It was stupid.”

The publicity, and the delays, dragged out the pain for Markowitz’s family, especially when they heard Cassavetes had paid Hollywood’s father an, er, consulting fee. “Where is the justice in that?” asked the victim's brother. “This just goes on and on, and I’m spending my whole life in a courtroom.”

The film, too, was pushed back a year from its Sundance premiere. Despite casting a visionary young ensemble—Alpha Dog was my own introduction to Yelchin, Ben Foster, Olivia Wilde, Amanda Seyfried, Amber Heard, and the realization that Timberlake, that kid from N*SYNC, could actually act—no one noticed when it slid into theaters in January of 2007. It wasn’t just the bad press. It was that audiences couldn’t get past that Cassavetes’ last film was The Notebook. No way could the guy behind the biggest romantic weepy of a generation make something raw and cool.

But he had. Alpha Dog is a stunning movie about machismo and fate, two tag-team traits that destroy lives. Think Oedipus convincing himself he can outwit the oracle of Delphi. But Sophocles’ Oedipus telegraphs its intentions, elbowing the audience to see the end at the beginning. Greeks sitting down in 405 BC knew they were watching a tale that came full circle. Every step Oedipus takes away from his patricidal destiny just moves him closer to it.

If you map Alpha Dog’s script, instead of a loop, it looks like a horizontal line that plummets off a cliff. For most of its running time, Alpha Dog could pass for a coming-of-age flick where a sheltered kid with an over-protective mom (Sharon Stone) taps into his own self-confidence, right up until the scene where he tumbles into his own grave. Audiences who’d missed the news articles about the case weren’t clued into the climax. Cassavetes doesn’t offer any hints or flash-forwards, not even an ominous “based-on-a-true-story.” (The film might have been more successful if he had.) Instead, he lulls you into joining the kegger, watching Zach crack open beer after beer as though he expects to live forever. “There’s a movie sensibility that the film doesn’t conform to,” said Cassavetes. “You don’t watch this film. You endure it.”

As Zach, his eyes red-rimmed from bong rips, not tears, is shuttled between party dens and wealthy homes, he’s given several chances to escape. He’s even revealed to be a Tae Kwan Do blackbelt who can jokingly flip his captor-buddy Frankie (Justin Timberlake) into a bathtub. But Zach stays put—he doesn’t want to get his big brother Jake (Ben Foster) in more trouble, not realizing that Johnny is too busy making nervous phone calls to his lawyer and his aggro father Sonny (Bruce Willis) to get around to asking Jake for the $1200 in ransom money.

Zach’s death is disorienting, almost as if Psycho's Marion Crane got murdered in the second-to-last reel. In a minivan en route to his execution, he innocently tells Frankie he wants learn to play guitar. “It bugs me that I don’t know how to do anything,” he sighs. Meanwhile Johnny assures his dad that there’s no need to call off the killing. “These guys are such fuck-ups, nothing's gonna happen,” he shrugs, a rare example of cross-cutting that defuses tension in order to make the shock of the gunfire even worse. Up until the last second—even after Frankie binds him with duct tape—a sobbing Zach still can’t believe Frankie would hurt him, and honestly, Frankie can’t believe it himself. And Yelchin’s own early death makes you ache for him to get a happy ending, which Cassavetes dangles just out of reach.

This is how evil happens, says Cassavetes. Masterminds are rare. Instead, people like Frankie can be basically good, but can also be panicky and passive and selfish. Shoving Zach in Johnny’s van was an idiotic impulse by upper middle-class kids, who flipped out when they realized the snatching could get them a lifetime sentence. There’s no honor or glory in the violence. Johnny, the cowardly ringleader, talks tough, but orders his most craven friend, Elvis (Shawn Hatosy), to pull the trigger while he and his girlfriend Angela (Olivia Wilde) get drunk on margaritas. And after the murder, one side effect is that Johnny can’t get an erection. When Angela tries to get Johnny in the mood in their hideout motel, the walls close in on him, suffocating the mood.  

Away from his boys, Johnny is weak. Surrounded by them, he's the king. Alpha Dog sets up a culture of animalistic dominance. Johnny’s rental house is basically a primate cage at the zoo, only decorated with weight benches and Scarface posters. All of Johnny’s boys jockey to be his favorite and tear each other down in order to bump up their own rank. Kindness is weakness. When a fellow dealer with the ridiculous nickname Bobby 911 cruises by to negotiate a sale, he snarls at a guy who vouches for him: “You don’t need to tell him I’m good for it, man!”

Elvis, the future shooter, is the lowest member of the pack. He can’t ease into the group without Johnny ordering him to go pick up his pit-bull's poop in the backyard. Why do they pick on Elvis? He owes Johnny a bit of money, but the source of the scorn is simply group think. No one wants to be nice to the outcast, and Elvis is just too sincere to be taken seriously. When Elvis offers to get Johnny a beer, the guys tease him for being in love with Johnny. When he says sure, he does care about Johnny, they twist words into a gay panic joke. Elvis can’t win—they won’t let him—so he literally kills to prove his worth, and winds up sentenced to death row, where the real boy, just 21 at the time of the shooting, remains today. Another life wasted.

Cassavetes humanizes the killers because he wants us to understand how their micro decisions add up to murder. Not just the gunmen. Everyone’s a little to blame. The kids who got drunk with “Stolen Boy” and didn’t call the police. The girls who told Zach that being kidnapped made him sexy. Even Zach’s older step-brother Jake, an addict with a twitchy temper who escalates his war with Johnny to a fatal breaking point. Neither boy will back down over a $1200 debt, and there’s an awful split screen call when Johnny dials Jake intending to bring Zach home, but Jake is so boiling over with anger, his Bugs Bunny voice shrieking with outrage, that Johnny just hangs up the phone.

The opening credits, a montage of the cast’s own old home videos, underline that these were young and happy children—the kind of kids people point to as examples of the suburban American ideal. Over a treacly cover of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” we watch these real life boys being cultured to be brave: riding bikes, falling off dive-boards, running around with toy guns, going through the rituals of young manhood, from bar mitzvahs to karate lessons. Yelchin—recognizably dark-eyed and solemn even as a toddler—grins wearing plastic vampire teeth.

It takes another ten minutes for Yelchin’s character to sneak into the film sideways in a profile shot eating dinner with his parents, played by Sharon Stone and David Thornton. His Zach is barely even visible as brash Jake barges into the scene to beg for money. They say no, Jake stomps out, and Zach finally makes himself seen when he runs after his brother, begging to go anywhere less suffocating. Zach’s mom loves him so much that she watches him sleep. “I’m not fucking eight!” he yelps. He’s 15—practically a man, in his own imagination—and desperate to get away, even if it means mimicking Jake, a Jewish kid who’s so scrambled that he has a Hebrew tattoo on his clavicle and a swastika inked on his back. Jake starts to say that he wishes his own mom cared about him that much, but as soon as he gets vulnerable, he spins the moment into a joke. “Boo for me,” Jake grins, and takes another swig of beer.

“You could say it’s about drugs or guns or disaffected youth, but this whole thing is about parenting,” grunts Bruce Willis’ Sonny Truelove. “It’s about taking care of your children. You take care of yours, I take care of mine.” He’s half-right—his parenting is half to blame. Sonny and his best friend Cosmo (Harry Dean Stanton) taught Johnny to bully his friends. Cosmo, looking haggard and hollow, mocks Johnny for having one girlfriend. “You gotta plow some fucking fields,” he bellows. “Men are not supposed to be monopolous!” Not that “monopolous” is a real word, and not that Cosmo fends off women himself, except in his own big talk.

Cosmo and Sonny’s own posturing gradually emerges as being more dangerous than Johnny’s because it's more integrated into society. They’re the type of creeps who rewrite the rulebook to suit them, and attack journalists who try to tell the truth. When a fictitious documentarian asks Sonny about his son's drug connections, the father shrugs, “Did he sell a little weed? Sure.” But when the interviewer presses him further, Sonny snaps, “I’m a taxpayer and I’m a citizen and you are a jerk-off.”

Cassavetes, of course, understands growing up with a father who left a giant footprint to fill. His father, John Cassavetes, the writer-director of Shadows and Faces and A Woman Under the Influence, was one of the major pioneers of independent cinema. He died when Nick was 30, before his son attempted to take up his legacy. “We never really talked film theory,” said Cassavetes. “My experience with my dad was more along the lines of how to be a man, how to be yourself, how to free yourself from what society tells you to do, how to release yourself as an artist.”

It makes sense that Cassavetes would make his own ambitious, and maddeningly singular film. And perhaps it even makes sense to him that fate has yet to give him the reward he’s earned. Alpha Dog deserves to be acknowledged as one of the most incisive examinations of machismo and the banality of evil. But like his fumbling criminals, he knows he’s not really in charge of his life. Admitted Cassavetes, “I'm not smart enough to really have a master plan for my career.”