#THAT WE LIVE HERE ???? THAT PEOPLE. LIVE. IN HOUSES ??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[katherynefromphilly]

Winter Solstice 2024 will be Saturday, December 21, at 09:31 UTC.

And because the Winter Solstice always makes me think of Merthur, and specifically this scene from Ever onward, through magic, through love, (pt 4 of the We Begin Again series), I figured I’d re-share this bit of fluff and feels here.

Happy Winter Solstice everyone!

************

They spend the Winter Solstice in a small house Arthur found for them on the internet. It’s upon the western shore of one of the larger, more popular islands, but it has its own private beach, surrounded by palm trees and thick-leaved shrubs.

After they finish a swim, Merlin spreads out a blanket upon the warm sand, and Arthur lays down upon it, arm beneath his head so he can watch the sun descend into the ocean, from a sky already aflame with brilliant oranges and reds.

“Now that is a sunset,” Arthur says.

Merlin lays at his side, propped up on his elbow to appreciate how Arthur’s skin shines golden with the softening light, how his chest rises and falls with his breaths, how his legs are still muscled and strong beneath his soaking swim trunks. Arthur is beautiful, breathtakingly so, and somehow growing more so ever day, in this new life they’re sharing together.

Merlin finds he can’t help but stare. But then, he’s allowed to do that now, isn’t he. So he goes ahead and keeps on doing it.

“You’re missing the sunset,” Arthur laughs, and pokes at his ribs.

What’s a sunset, Merlin wants to say, compared to you? But his throat is too tight, and he can’t get out the words. So he looks at the setting sun instead. Watches the view go blurry. Tries not to blink, to let Arthur see what he’s feeling.

He can’t help it though. Moments like this, with Arthur warm and alive at his side, and the sun setting so beautifully into the tropic water, and their long lives stretching out before them, together, gods, always together-

“Come here,” Arthur says, rough, and pulls him close.

Merlin wraps himself around Arthur’s body, and kisses him, and kisses him.

The waves lap at the beach, and the leaves whisper in the humid wind, and the sky shifts from reds to oranges to violets as the sun dips below where ocean meets sky.

Merlin lifts his head, half drunk on Arthur’s kisses, and on his touches, and on love. Arthur looks the same, a crooked smile upon his face as he lays beneath him, hands running up and down Merlin’s sides.

“I think we missed the sunset,” Arthur says, unconcerned.

“Happy Winter Solstice, then.”

“Feels more like a Summer Solstice, doesn’t it.”

“Too peaceful to be a Summer Solstice,” Merlin says, meaning Arthur’s return from the dead, and the battle they’d waged.

Arthur must think he means the festival, though, because he quirks his head to the side, as he brushes hair from Merlin’s eyes. “Do they have a festival in Avalon on the Winter Solstice as well?”

“People gather near the standing stones. That’s about it, though.”

“You don’t throw a big party?”

“In the cold weather?”

“Just like you to avoid being out in the cold.”

“Well if I’d had a decent coat, or fur lined boots, like a certain royal prat I know-“

“Excuses, excuses…”

Merlin shoves himself up to an elbow. Peers narrow eyed down at Arthur. Then lifts a hand over Arthur’s chest, and wiggles his fingers.

Arthur’s yelp at the freezing sleet that follows is music to Merlin’s ears, for a few seconds anyway, until Arthur picks Merlin up and carries him, laughing and shouting out half-hearted protests, into the ocean.

Merlin’s protest silence completely, when Arthur embraces him in the warm, warm water, mouth finding his own as the foam hisses around them, salt and heat delicious as yuletide sweets upon Merlin’s lips.

“Royal bully,” Merlin breathes between kisses, fingers winding into Arthur’s dripping hair.

“Insolent sorcerer,” Arthur murmurs back, and moves his hands lower, turning Merlin’s reply into soft gasps, and then groans, and finally, over and over again, simply “Arthur”.

[puddingforg]

Can... can I maybe beg for info dumping about Owen and Hubter's original designs/story?

OFCCC!! I LOVE talking about my ocs so if you have any questions from what I’m about to tell please ask, now brace yourself this is a long one,

Ok lore, where do I start, imma give some world-building context first: Thousands of years ago there were these dudes each from a different species whose sole purpose was to protect their nation. Nobody really knows how they appeared but they had been protecting their nations for generations. As more Nations appeared and more wars started happening, lesser and lesser of them started appearing, first, it skipped a generation, then two, then three and so on until nobody knew what had happened to the fearless warriors that once fought for their nations, in some cultures they were forgotten, in others, they were treated as a myth and in others, they were treated as a curse who would come and cause chaos and destruction. There are 5 of them, they are an elf, a dragon, a vampire, a mermaid/man and a faun. Here are some Sketches as to how their designs might look but I’m probs gonna change them

forgot to mention but the world is kinda in a medieval era¿, it's like a DnD campaign of some sort lol

Ok so- Hunter and Owen being part of the main cast obviously are these previously mentioned “warriors” - Kinda… let me explain, I’ll start with Owen cuz’ his backstory is simpler, you have your stereotypical perfect mermaid, however, these mermaids are a pretty discriminatory species, if someone doesn't follow their very strict beauty standards, which ofc is being a cutesy little fish-tail mermaid, they are categorised as a sea monster. Sea monsters live in separate places from the mermaids. Mermaids have the most territory residing in a huge and radiant city, like Atlantis, where everything and everyone is perfect living a perfect life. Then we have sea monsters, that, despite being way more, are left to live in a small, not very fit-to-live territory with little access to food and resources. Now, there is a deeper reason as to why that is. The normal mermaids have no idea of this but within the royal family there is this prophecy, which is engraved in a rock that they keep hidden, that someday a shark-tail mermaid ( like Owen, who just so happens to be who is meant to protect the people ) will appear and take the throne from those who aren’t meant to have it ( the mermaids ) The royal family for generation has kept the sea monsters oppressed in hopes that they don’t rebel and take the throne. So, Owen lives with his mother in a little house on the sea monsters side, he’s pretty liked and well-known bc he is one of the few ppl, like members of the revolutionary army, that dares to go to the mermaids side for food, ( little parenthesis, the revolutionary army has asked him multiple to join but he refuses each time bcs “he doesn’t like conflict” )  he’s pretty cocky with his abilities so for him it's no issue to go to that side bcs he is sure that he’ll never get caught (he has, he just escapes rlly easily ) it was actually in one of these occasions that he met Hunter, and finally I have a drawing of that! 

here’s the full page, it also comes with their designs and size difference 

I’ll explain how the hell Hunter is underwater and his reason to do so later btw. To summarise what happens next, they break out of prison, Hunter realizes Owen might be the one Caly is looking for (I’ll explain who she is later) Hunter asks him to go with him to the surface, Owen agrees, they go, adventure commences! ( for anyone wondering, yes Owen does end up making a rebellion and taking the throne but much, much, much  later) 

Now to Hunter, 

He’s a shadow-shifter, which essentially means that he is just a shadow w/o any real physical form so he can shift into whatever he wants, however, while he can make small alterations to his body like growing an extra pair of arms, grow wings or grow a couple of feet, to make big changes like increase his size exponentially for example, he needs a huge calorie intake that he can transform into mass/shadow that he can shape. Now I just said that shadowshifters don't have physical forms, that’s not the full truth, due to evolution they have developed a “base form” that resembles humans except that they are slightly taller ( around 7 feet ) and have black with purple eyes, like in this drawing here. 

Shadowshifters are still, well shadows they just look human to sort of blend, but Hunter for example when faced with very strong emotions loses control of himself and turns into a shapeless shadow. 

Onto Hunter's backstory, shadowshifters were a nomad nation, never really given their own land to call home, so they just wandered in caravans around all the lands. They were a hated species being seen as less by almost everyone because they didn't have a physical form. ( the real reason is that they were afraid of what they could actually do if they wanted to attack a nation, bc shapeshifting is a very broken ability 🙂‍↕️) They were so hated that other species began to hunt them, the fact that they were taller and had black eyes made them an easy target as they were easy to identify. One day the shadowshifters were crossing through the woods that sat in between the border of humans and fawns. They were playing music, the children were playing and an overall happy aura was taking over. As Hunter was playing with the other kids he ran over to his mother to ask her for her necklace so he could use it in the game they were playing, his mother happily handed it over. (This is important) Suddenly they heard a big crash followed by screaming. A huge group of not only humans but dragons and hybrids as well had attacked them. Then, the fire started, the dragons began burning everything as the humans and hybrids hunted them down. Hunter's mom grabbed him by the hand and started running away, Hunters mom knew that they wouldn't be able to outrun them, so she hugged Hunter tight saying her goodbyes and instructing him to run away as fast as he could, and to not look back for any reason. Hunter ran nonstop into the fauns territory until his body gave out and he fainted. He got woken up by a kid faun, close to his age, who was slightly shaking him and asking if he was okay. The kid looked at him confused, asking again if he was okay and reassuring him that he was safe. He said that his name was Kamal. Here’s how he looks like as a young adult

Kamal took Hunter to his village where Hunter would tell Kamal’s mom what happened; Fauns being a very docile species did not have any hate towars shadowshifters btw; Kamal’s mom decided to take Hunter in and raise him, the people of the village where also very kind and accepted Hunter. He lived a fairly happy life, until he was around 17. See the one who was supposed to protect the fauns was Kamal, and both he and Hunter decided that the best way to do that was to become bounty hunters and roam the borders of the fauns territory to make sure no one dangerous came in, they started doing this when they were around 13 so by the time they were 17 they were pretty good at it, however, as most teenagers, they believed themselves to be invincible, or at least Hunter did. ( This part is still in development so it's not gonna be that well-written jsjs ) One day, as they were doing their jobs and patrolling the borders, Hunter noticed a group of fairly known criminals entering the forest, so being as reckless as he was, he just started running w/o thinking, Kamal being more cautious decided to check the wanted posters he carried with him, he saw that the leader of the group had a danger level of 4 and a torch stamp ( Wanted posters rank criminals with danger levels ranging from 1 to 5 and if they have a torch stamp means that they have magic ) Kamal rushed to stop Hunter from doing something stupid but when he got there he had already started a fight, Kamal joined knowing there was no way Hunter could win on his own, While they were fighting one of the criminals launched at Hunter’s back with a sword while he fought someone else, Kamal saw this and rushed to push Hunter out of the way getting himself stabbed. Kamal's powers began going haywire, the ground shaking, plants and trees growing fastly everywhere, this scared the criminals away but the damage was already done. Hunter just stood there holding his brothers body, as the last bit of air left Kamal's body Hunter's necklace began glowing and something green started coming out of where Kamal's heart was, and the crystal on the necklace started absorbing it. When it stopped, the crystal was glowing green and the realisation of what just happened dawned on Hunter and he started screaming and crashing out, this caused him to lose his physical form and become a huge shadow that moved frantically everywhere, until he eventually passed out. When he woke up he was in his house, but not in his room, he was in Kamal's room, and his (adoptive) mom was hugging him asking him if he was okay and where Hunter was, he just stood there trying to make sense of everything, then he heard it. His mother called him Kamal. He rushed to the bathroom and saw himself in the mirror, there in the reflection stood Kamal. 

And that’s it ✨✨ there is soooo much more I have to say abt their stories but to do so it was very important to have hunters backstory clear so parts of the actual story are clear, I left a ton of things un explained so please ask if y’all wanna know something, I might take some time but I assure you that l WILL respond so dw. Gosh, I didn’t even touched the reasonings behind their designs, not only that but a bunch of other stuff happens in the actual story that’ll love to tell but I feel like this post is long enough so maybe I’ll post that another day.

[saiintvalentiine]

Another request I have: Clone Wifies getting put into parkour civilization

how did he get there? where is he going? why does he seem to remember some things but not others? who knows. set in the like week between evbo becoming the pk champion and pk god.

Word count: 685

The world is strange. It reminds Wifies vaguely of the Farlands, in that the generation is just weird. He hops across one block gaps with ease, looking for. . . anything? It’s mostly just empty houses until he comes across a large, looming building with. . . a parkour course?

With nothing better to do, Wifies ascends the parkour staircase.

It’s a simple thing, with no strange or complex jumps. He makes it to the top breezily and enters a new room.

“Congratulations Noob,” someone says nearby, scaring the shit out of him. “Welcome to the Pro level.”

“Uh,” Wifies blinks at the man. “Thanks? What am I. . . supposed to do?”

“Get some food, dump your old boots in the lava, and jump over for your iron boots,” the man says.

“What old boots?”

“Your leather boots, obviously. What are you waiting for?”

Wifies has no clue what the hell this guy is talking about, but he nods and does as he’s told. He takes some cooked steak, stares absently at the lava pit, and then jumps over the one block gap. Dispensers equip him with cold, iron boots as he steps out into a room with giant statues that tower above him. There’s one made of diamond that boasts a green, black, and white headband interestingly enough.

What the hell has he gotten himself into?

There’s no way out except forward, into another strangely generated world. When he glances through the widened gaps between grass blocks, he can see the area he just left. At least here, there’s more activity— there are people wandering around, chatting, living life.

And there’s a guy with a green, black, and white headband. Seems like in there is anyone to ask, this guy might be it. As Wifies makes his way over, he hears the conversation the green-black-white guy is having with another, more simply dressed man.

“—I just think ranking up might be too hard,” the man in grey is saying.

“Just because something is hard, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try!”

Good advice. If Wifies didn’t try, then he’d be dead.

“Um, excuse me,” he interrupts, voice a little shot. “Sorry, I think I need help?”

They both look at him. Wifies thought he’d be used to the feeling, but they stare at him with a particularly intense gaze that leaves him uncomfortable in his own skin.

“I don’t know where I am,” he says very, very slowly, eyes darting between them. “Um. Like I seriously— I remember where I was before, but not how I got here. That must be really strange to hear.”

“Probably Seawatt’s fault,” green-black-white says with a frown. “Do you remember Seawatt?”

Wifies snorts, covering his mouth.

“Sorry. Uh, yeah. Press F5. Of course I do.”

“Press F5?” the man in grey repeats. “That doesn’t sound right.”

As if a physical weight has dropped onto him, Wifies realizes he’s somehow made the wrong choice. The two jump over the gaps to get closer to him.

“It doesn’t. What do you remember?”

“I remember. . . Ken. Kenadian? And we were. . . I was getting hit by arrows. And. . . that’s it, actually. Everything else is blurry.”

“Strange. Evbo, I think something weird is going on here.”

“Definitely. Hey, you—”

“Wifies. I’m Wifies.”

“Wifies. Nice to meet you! I’m Evbo, the new Parkour Champion. If you come with me, I think I can help with your whole memory thing,” Evbo pauses, scrunching his face up. “But we’d have to travel to Seawatt’s old lab. The parkour path there might be too hard for you.”

“Can’t be worse than anvil jumps,” Wifies says. “Nothing is worse than anvil jumps, I think.”

“What are anvil jumps?” the man in grey and Evbo say.

“Um, when you place an anvil above you and jump on it while it falls. It gives you a chance to boost onto a ledge. They’re— finicky, to say the least.”

Evbo gets a strange look in his eyes, like Wifies has given him an incredibly valuable gift.

“I’ll help you with your memory problems, but you have to teach me how to make an anvil jump, okay?”

“Sure. Deal.”

[sibmakesart]

wow i love tourists.... specifically finding them parking on ppls lawns and peeing against the village's remparts which is also someones house like bitch we live here this isnt disneyland wtf

[vaguely-concerned]

I've been trying to figure out a dynamic between neve and rye that I find more compelling, because right now there's not much of anything there for me to sink my little teeth into. but I think I've landed on something delicious with the idea that especially after minrathous gets fucked, rye looks at neve and sees myrna -- someone he feels he keeps letting down horribly no matter how hard he tries not to and can't quite achieve the approval of/connection with that he wishes so it's better to just pull away completely and disengage rather than stay in that unshifting shame. neve is (very understandably) measured and distant with him after what happened, and he's flashing back to his student days of myrna gazing at the perpetually hungover heartbroken heap of a person of him on the other side of her desk every time he missed the deadline of a paper or project like '...can we at least both agree that this is. a bit disappointing. especially considering your potential.' (and him all smudged black eyeshadow and numb ruefulness being like 'sure that's a very kind way to put it myrna thank you'.)

aside from the 'if I let him get too deeply into this he'll go the way of brom and it'll be all my fault (again)' element, neve thinks rye is dismissing her and her city/being a bit callous in the same way he was after varric's death (listen. how fucking wild must rook's reaction to losing a beloved mentor seem to the rest of the crew who aren't seeing the blood magic paper doll ghost varric the whole time, especially those who got to see them interact. you WOULD think 'there's something wrong with this guy. putting the job first is one thing just not seeming to react at all is another this is fucking freaky', wouldn't you, especially after seeing the warmth in that dynamic in action beforehand.) perfect storm of two people who grit their teeth and turn inwards in pain deciding that not talking about it is their best bet (NEWSFLASH: IT ISN'T) lmao

(rye spent his last year of watcher training on a mostly joyless bender and then got it together enough to finish the eternal orb project last moment in a fevered near-sleepless week instead of the half a year that was intended. emmrich is both astounded and distressed to hear this. "a week? but -- but that is an astounding accomplishment rook!! and also why in the maker's good light would you ever do that to yourself?" ("well you see there was no one to stop me from doing it like that but me. and under those conditions these things tend to happen".) rye was working through/looking up stuff around transitioning and doing every kind of OTHER high level watcher research through that whole time, but ultimately he's an excellent watcher and a terrible student, at least under traditional methods. adhd from here to the fucking moon. touched by something akin to divine inspiration in moments of high tension that pulls all the threads into one coherent unbreakable cord, a bit of a frayed mess in most other settings. in our world he'd be dropping out of a masters program at the very last hurdle in this moment maker bless and protect him)

[natjennie]

it's so hard to believe there are people who have been to other countries than the one they were born in. that seems so impossible. it even kinda seems impossible to go to another state. what do you mean you just took a quick vacation to scotland. what are you saying to me. that's crazy.

[nihiltism]

having a platonic cuddle buddy is so cool everybody should have a platonic cuddle buddy. having somebody to come over at a set later time in the day to lay on me for 2 hours and leave is so cool bc it also just. is a manual wind-down. whenever I try to get things done with my night after the buddy leaves I end up just passing out on my computer. manual wind down successful. the only tragedy is this is only one day a week

[simplydnp]

fuck

[seilon]

no like when I say any answer on the queerest city poll that’s not San Fran is wrong I mean it is factually and historically WRONG

[httpiastri]

as happy as i am for lissie and marcus (even though I knew they were already together because I literally watched them make out with my own two eyes) it was honestly my last straw. I’m so tired of seeing everybody on my social feeds happy and in relationships when I’ve just had the worst week of my life and have basically given up on falling in love because if I can’t even drive how am I going to go to places where I’ll meet people?!?!? i have spent every Valentine’s Day alone while my friends go on elaborate dates and I’m just so so tired

not the make out sesh 😩 oh to see them with my own two eyes irl... what a pretty sight it would be

this got quite personal and hit a little too close to home so im putting a lil keep reading thing

love :(( i’m truly sorry you feel this way... but god i felt this ask so much... first of all, i'm really sorry about you having a bad week. it's completely fine to feel the way you're feeling, it must really suck, but i'm sure you'll get the license and you'll be driving shortly!! i am keeping my fingers crossed for you ❤️

i’ve always been very calm about relationships and love, very much “i’m not in a rush” and “it’ll come when it’s time”. i’ve always been a hopeless romantic but i haven’t been stressed about it – i’ve always been so busy that i haven’t really had time for love, and i've been okay with hearing about friends and their great love lives while i've spent pretty much every weekend and holiday alone at home. but… eventually, it becomes exhausting, you know? when falling in love for real just seems so far away and like something so hard to achieve in some way....

i also kind of feel you on the driving part... i decided not to get my license for a bunch of reasons, and idk how i'll get around without driving... but also as i am still living with my parents, it just seems impossible to meet someone, because where would i bring them? home to meet my snooping parents?? no way

i think we just gotta hold on to the hope that when it is the right time, it will happen. i don't believe in the whole "don't rush it" thing, i think that we're all allowed to seek and chase love if we want to, but i also think it's okay to take a step back and just breathe and be okay with the situation. unfortunately, our current day society is so formed around relationships, soft launches and hard launches and dinner date pics on insta and public proposal videos, that i feel like the pressure easily gets overwhelming. there's also something in the way that people think other people's love lives is any of their business, like friends and relatives asking me why i don't have a boyfriend, as if a partner is something i need to live my life? surely it would make it better, but i don't need to be reminded and hurt yet again over the fact that i'm alone, when i'm just trying to move on in life...

i'm trying to stay patient, open to any opportunity, and remembering that social media is merely a highlight reel and not reality. i hope you too can find peace in remembering that things will get better, we just have to work through this first. we will get through it and come out stronger on the other side. darling, if you ever need something from me, want to rant, or anything else, know that my messages and inbox are always open 💗

[david-watts]

got in trouble for telling the bloke on the architecture programme on the television to shut up and tbh it was worth it because I am sick to death of mainlanders going ‘ooughg the power,,,, of the landscape,,,,’ like fuck off

[stuckydrewx]

( @amarriageoftrueminds tags) this is too fucking true

steve rogers: pr disaster | gen | 4k

(someone asked about the full version of this, so here u go)

“Wait,” says Sam, “you had a publicist?”

“For my first five months at S.H.I.E.L.D,” says Steve. “Then she quit. Uh, decisively.”

“Well yeah, she had to keep you in line,” Bucky says with a half-smirk. “How many times did you make that poor lady want to sock you in the face?”

“Lost count,” Steve admits. “I did offer to let her, once. Seemed fair.”

Sam laughs. “I feel like you’re sitting on a story here.”

“There’s no story,” Steve tells him. Sam raises his eyebrows. Bucky’s half-smirk tilts towards a full smirk. “Seriously,” Steve repeats, “no story.”

Interlude: The Story of Steve “Walking PR Nightmare” Rogers, and How For a Short While He Single-Handedly Destroyed the Emotional Health of Eva Laura Ortiz, His Now Ex-Publicist

Keep reading

[rose-tinted-nostalgia]

.

[themirokai]

I got this comment on a story from my Other AO3 Account this morning.

(Info redacted because I prefer keeping these accounts separate but no one follows me on the side blog I have for that account.)

The story was posted almost a year ago and is relatively “popular” by my average statistics even though it has tropes and themes that are big turnoffs for a lot of people (hence separate accounts). This popularity is undoubtedly because it’s a Marvel Loki story and that fandom is massive.

So there is obviously an algorithm or a bot scrubbing ao3 statistics and leaving this comment on fics that meet a certain metric with the main character of the fic inserted into the comment.

I had a little time to kill this morning so I decided to investigate further. And y’all this is so predatory. Come on this journey with me. It made me mad. It may make you mad.

First, if you go to Webnovel’s website, you HAVE to choose between male lead or female lead stories before you can go any further. WTF?

And that’s weird, but this gets so much worse. This is basically a pay-to-read site that has different subscription models. Which… okay BUT! The authors don’t get paid! Look at that comment again. They’re promising a supportive and nurturing community, but zero monetary compensation. It’s basically, “post your stuff here so we can get paid and you can get… nice vibes?” I mean look at this Orwellian writing:

Using the phrase “pay-to-read model” in the same sentence as “qualitative changes in lifestyles for authors” deliberately makes you think that you can get paid and maybe even make a living on this website. But that’s not actually what it says and authors will not receive one red cent.

Oh but wait, the worst is still to come. In case this breaks containment (which I kind of hope it does) this is where I mention that I’m a lawyer in the US.

I don’t do intellectual property or copyright law but I do read and write contracts for a living. So I went to look at their terms of service. It was fun!

Highlights the first, in which Webnovel gets a license to do basically whatever they want with content you post on their site. This is how they get to be paid for people reading authors’ writing without paying them anything.

Highlights the second, in which Webnovel takes no responsibility for illegally profiting off of fan fic. This all says that the writer is 100% responsible for everything the writer posts (even though only Webnovel is making money from it).

Highlights the third which say that by posting, the author is representing that they have the legal right to use and to let Webnovel use the content according to these terms. So if a writer posts fan fiction and Webnovel makes money from people reading the fan fiction, and the House of the Mouse catches wise, these sections say that that’s ALL on the writer.

So that’s a little skeevy to start off with but the thing that is seriously shitty and made me make this post was that these assholes are coming to ao3. They are actively recruiting people in comments on their fan fiction. And they are saying they are big fans of the character you’re writing about and that they share your interests.

They are recruiting fan fiction writers and giving every impression that you can make money from posting fan fiction on their site and hiding the fact that you absolutely cannot but they can make money off of you while you try, deep in their terms of service which no one but a lawyer who writes fan fic and has some time to kill will read.

I see posts on here regularly from people who don’t understand how this stuff works, don’t understand that they (and others) can not legally make a financial profit from fan fiction. And there are tons of people who will not take the time to dig into the details.

Don’t deal with these bastards. Fuck Webnovel.

[inkskinned]

i love finding out how big this world is. my girlfriend has only visited boston a handful of times, but i grew up here. i told her we'd be going to do the tourist traps in salem, and she said - which salem?

to be fair to her, there are a lot of other states that have a town named "salem." and i think there's some evidence that the witch trials actually happened in what is now called Danvers. but the thing is - she thought "salem" was like, a made-up thing. there wasn't actually a salem, massachusetts - like there isn't a gotham city.

they don't talk about it that much where she grew up, is the thing! and this made me laugh. a week ago she was talking about her hometown and said something akin to "well the museum's kinda like the one in richmond," and i had to explain i still had no frame of reference for what the hell this museum was like.

i love finding out what knowledge i take for granted. i used to live with 5 other women. 3 of them were from south korea. they had to take, like, a solid fifteen minutes to explain their birthday system to my gay math-blind ass, laughing as they did.

that same month, our roommate from denmark taught me the danish word for wreath by accident - she'd been talking about decorations, used krans, and i'd been able to figure it out through context. i just picked it up and kept talking. our entire house used krans as the word. she came home and slammed the door one evening, mock-angry, shouting: you motherfuckers! it's a - a wreath!

and how often do you use certain words, anyway! i am cuban, so i was raised with certain spanish words sort of sprinkled in there; but never how you'd think. in middle school i asked someone to pass me the recogedor - in a completely american accent, like i was speaking english. i hadn't registered it as a spanish word. i mean, how often in school do you actually use the word "dustpan" - i'd only ever heard it in the context of cleaning my house.

there are places that you grew up that you, just, like, know. that you assume everyone knows. there are things and people and "common knowledge" that you have that, just, like. doesn't exist for me. i don't know what you call your public transportation system, but in boston we call it "the T". our train cards are called charlie cards because of a song where a father accidentally abandons his family, which was written because our system of transportation. in boston, most people would snort and say everyone knows that, kid.

i think you and i should go on a long walk - it's getting dark early these days and we need any sun we can manage. tell me about the first time you saw snow. tell me about the stuff everyone knows about your home. tell me about the cities "everyone's been to," about the food "everyone's already tried." who knows. maybe it will feel nice to you - watching someone learn about it for the very first time.