#when there’s a fucking housing crisis in Dublin

[punkscowardschampions]

JC pt.1

Janis: [Okay, so sending him the pictures of your rental agreement and a key, it’s official vibes, because how else can I come at this to start with lol]

Casey: What your story’s for

Janis: Blow the cobwebs off my account and see if there’s any fans still waiting

Janis: You aren’t even going to throw a 👏 react my way then?

Casey: you ain’t even bought a drink first

Casey: no purchase, no customer service bollocks, mate

Janis: Oh that’s how it is now

Janis: time is money and you’ve none for us, I see

Casey: I’ve none to pat you on the head for pissing yours up the wall

Casey: posing like a massive dickhead could’ve bought all sorts else and that’s what you went with

Janis: Beats staying with my ma or your dad 

Janis: can’t all be cocaine and strippers, sadly

Casey: never had to be Dublin’s most boring semi

Janis: You’ll have to work on your customer service voice and live that penthouse fantasy for us both

Janis: we need the space

Casey: you’re alright, I’ve got plenty of space

Casey: tah for that

Janis: Come on, you can’t stay there

Casey: can be all coke and strippers now you lot have gone

Janis: At his age? Add CPR to the list

Casey: been on that course, like 

Janis: Tracks, me too but less for drug-induced heart attacks and more for how old so many of my clients are

Janis: You aren’t Bob’s age, we wouldn’t be treating you like you are

Casey: you said it, I’ve got no need to hide under the bed like I am

Janis: I know you ain’t scared of him, Jim’s the one who worries, not me

Janis: but why don’t you want to?

Casey: why would I want to leave my dad on his own

Casey: take a loads better offer than sod all you pair are

Janis: You could be off to Uni, you ain’t going to stay forever

Casey: bigger fantasy than a penthouse, that

Janis: Maybe not yet

Janis: when you’re older, it’s only the 18 year olds they want the grades from, life experience says more than any A* later on

Casey: mature students are on campus after the teenage girls when life experience has given them a crisis without the budget to stretch to a [whatever the cliche sports car of this era is]

Janis: And to be condescending twats about everything, sure

Janis: it’s just one possibility for your future

Casey: you’d know

Janis: Piss off, I just told you how unconcerned I am

Janis: you can look after yourself doesn’t mean you have to

Casey: don’t mean you have to if I can’t

Janis: It’s just a room

Janis: there may as well be a bed in it anyway

Casey: I’ve got a whole house to myself here

Janis: Yeah

Janis: I already don’t know what to do with the dining room and that’s the one room going spare, you’ll be lonely

Casey: can kip in it when he’s doing your head in

Janis: There’s your unclaimed room for that

Casey: start unpacking our kid’s boxes and you’ll soon run out of room

Janis: He’s a bit too old for a playroom

Janis: isn’t he? I don’t know, actually

Casey: I ain’t the one to ask either, babying him werent my idea of fun

Janis: He’s a kid, someone has to look after him

Casey: dad did before Jim muscled in ‘cause he’s got none to use no other way

Janis: Did he though

Casey: you heard

Janis: He’s been old enough to babysit from the day Bobby was born, you’re not far behind

Casey: babysitters give the kid back

Janis: Well, he hasn’t put up a fight now, when he easily could if he wanted

Casey: ‘course he don’t fancy it, dud prize ain’t worth fighting for

Janis: Top dad behaviour then

Casey: you said it x 2

Casey: they’ve been turned against each other from the off, top big brother behaviour

Janis: None of it’s untrue

Janis: nothing wrong with his vision, either

Casey: here’s your 👏

Casey: congrats on your his and hers vision of the future, I’m dead chuffed for you

Janis: What does that even mean, like?

Casey: if I wanted to talk to that knobhead I would

Janis: You want to stay where you are and we can’t fuck off soon enough, got it

Casey: you’re who’s buzzing to be out the door

Janis: It’s meant to be a good thing, getting your own place

Janis: it would be if you would just agree to spending some time over

Casey: he’s meant to pull his paying half, not chuck the dead weight of both his brothers into the boot and call it a day

Janis: Posing like a massive dickhead gave me a headstart

Janis: you aren’t deadweight, either of you

Casey: I ain’t coming to your housewarming never mind moving in, get over it

Janis: Fucking hell, fine

Janis: suppose I can’t make you

Casey: make your dining room into a gym, might calm you down

Janis: I’m perfectly calm, even with you being such a shit mate

Janis: but that’s not a bad idea

Casey: sort of mate I am, still chucking you decent ones even with all yours being proper shit

Janis: I didn’t buy the house, can’t call it a poor investment 

Casey: piss poor I’d call it

Janis: would you

Janis: and what would you have done if you were me?

Casey: how far back we going

Janis: You’ve saved up a back catalogue of mistakes for this moment, charming

Casey: gotta do something whenever I’m slow counting to 10, what else would I, have a look at my mistakes

Janis: [the school counsellor, by her name] should’ve been a lot firmer with you

Casey: gutted she never

Janis: 🤮🤮

Janis: Do some slow counting tah

Casey: nah, not fuming no more, feeling the love of [the school counsellor]’ll have that effect

Janis: Amount of chairs you chucked around would say otherwise

Janis: but I’d not count that as a mistake either so

Casey: you’ve lost count, more like

Janis: Didn’t realise we were keeping score, which is cheating, just FYI

Casey: So’s tapping out, what you’re doing legging it for [whatever dublin number this house is in or street or whatever]

Janis: Am not

Casey: are too

Janis: I’m trying to take you with me, that’s not legging it

Casey: take us off to some new life and bollocks future’s what you’re trying at, leave it out

Janis: If I were that good I’d have managed it for myself ages before I even met you

Janis: things aren’t going to be that different

Casey: no shit, dickhead

Casey: means I’d be legging it away from my dad for nowt

Janis: You really want to stay?

Casey: he’s my dad

Casey: what do you want us to run off for

Janis: I’ve said

Janis: even though running off is dramatic, it’s only [however many mins down the road we’re giving]

Casey: it’s only your box room

Janis: It’s [giving him the measurements because love that they get that specific when you move in somewhere like I must know exactly lol], thank you very much

Janis: Plenty of room for you

Casey: barely any for the lasses I’d have to sneak in

Janis: What kind of fat birds are you shifting

Casey: might be going for a record, you dunno

Janis: A boy has got to have his hobbies

Casey: too right, and he encourages us with ‘em

Janis: Is that your honest-to-God reason you want to stay?

Casey: I’ve said

Janis: Encourages is weird but that’s your business what you do in private, wherever the fuck you are

Casey: depends on the hobby, you’re making it weird

Janis: Right, the girls are just there to time your record attempt at [something ludicrous how they often are lol] 

Janis: definitely my mind that’s cracked

Casey: your mind’s on your paperwork and where you’re gonna hide your spare when it’s cut off that one, ain’t flattering myself 

Janis: Getting this place was the easy part

Janis: you don’t wanna hear the actual to-do list you’re not on

Casey: save it for him, kept woman he’ll turn into soon as you’re in

Janis: He had to do Uni, not like he’s been dossing about doing nothing

Casey: baby on his hip the whole time an’ all, if we’re gonna bother rewriting history to paint him as the hero instead of giving the box room a coat

Janis: If Bob counts as a baby, if not 🤮 will have the whole room covered in no time

Casey: you’re really selling the place

Janis: Be wasting my time wouldn’t I

Janis: not to mention never wanting to see an estate agent again in my life, never mind cosplaying as one of the cunts

Casey: [taking the piss by mentioning a specific modelling moment of hers where he’s saying she looked like one lol but the feelsy thing is that he can recall them all from memory, we know, and that’s always gonna be there hiding in these bants] was enough, I get it

Janis: Christ, that was a day

Janis: I’ll just keep telling myself that shit paid for this lovely, spacious room that precisely no one is going to use 

Casey: you’ll use the downstairs spare loads 🥊

Janis: Obviously

Janis: I might let you visit, to use the ‘gym’

Casey: only [however many minutes] down the road, you reckon

Janis: I’ve timed it

Casey: take me [not you halving the time like you’re that much faster than her haha] then

Janis: Another fantasy

Casey: there and back in the time it takes you, you can count it

Janis: Not even in your car

Casey: car won’t start, could’ve used some of your fortune for that

Janis: Buy your affection, how all the greats do it

Casey: dad will, more depressing countdown though

Janis: Do you want me to look at your car? 

Janis: Did that cliche shoot too so I’m basically qualified

Casey: if you nicked the outfit from the shoot we’ll talk, owt else’s a tease

Janis: It’d not fit you, as I had to tell Gracie many a time 💔

Casey: she’s stretched it, probably would

Janis: As if she’d dare to wear anything that butch

Casey: or putting the work in, princess or bust

Janis: You know you’re not allowed to crack onto my sister

Casey: if I fancied her she’d be in pieces by now

Janis: Just remember the rules

Casey: you don’t make ‘em under this roof no more

Janis: Alright, sound more like a kid

Janis: are we mates or not, dickhead

Casey: you started it, some adult you are, however hard you play house

Janis: Long as I’ve tricked the right people, what does it matter?

Casey: you’ve made your point I don’t

Janis: Fuck off with that

Casey: he’s crying, you’re not

Janis: I don’t

Janis: and it didn’t change your mind 

Casey: changing my mind would fuck it up for you with them right people, I don’t have it in us to trick no one how you are

Janis: They can’t take the kid away, Jesus, if they were bothering themselves with that they would have ages ago

Janis: but they wouldn’t, because of you, you know that, don’t you

Casey: none of ‘em doing their jobs ain’t counting as a win for us

Janis: You aren’t a danger to him, that’s the point

Casey: today maybe, but shit’s meant to be 🤏 different in your new house

Janis: You’ve never done anything to him, and shouting don’t count so you can go nuts

Casey: I’ve lost count of the times I’ve wanted to

Janis: But you haven’t

Janis: that makes you better than someone who’s never had the thought cross their mind

Casey: it makes me no better than dad and he’s why you’re off

Janis: He does it, only not to Bobby because he’s got fuck all to do with him

Janis: to you and Jim

Casey: Bob’s my exception an’ all, we’re the same and so’s the reason why

Janis: That ain’t the only reason

Casey: that don’t matter

Janis: That’s all that matters

Casey: who to

Janis: Me

Janis: everyone, it should to you, that you’re a decent person

Casey: I’m not, by anybody’s count I’m still far off it

Janis: Well most people are shit

Janis: I know you, my opinion is more relevant

Casey: we’re mates, you’re biased

Janis: I’m only mates with you because you aren’t shit like everyone else

Casey: I can’t be with them, play happy families like you want

Janis: *keep playing, you’ve been with them this whole time

Janis: I can talk to him, it’s normal you want space 

Janis: but can you try and stay out of Ian’s way so he doesn’t worry himself to death?

Casey: he’s had no cause to worry himself to death about us getting in each other’s way since I turned [however old we’re saying this boy was when he stood up to Ian]

Janis: Still

Janis: he feels guilty

Casey: any party’s a pity one when it’s his

Janis: You wouldn’t want him to stay, which is what he thinks he should do if you won’t go too

Casey: he’ll do what you tell him to

Janis: So I get to be the bad guy

Casey: you’ll be my hero, gaff to myself

Janis: Dunno if I feel like doing you any favours but alright

Casey: doing ‘em most for yourself, IRL doll’s house to piss about with

Janis: I’d be delighted if you were a bit happy for us

Casey: I’d be happy for you if you was doing it for you

Janis: Am I not going to benefit from it?

Casey: dunno, what benefits are there to living with them pair

Janis: You don’t wanna hear that

Casey: I’ve heard what a cockblock our kid is

Janis: What was I gonna do, leave him at yours?

Janis: He exists, you have to take people and their families, that’s how it is

Casey: you don’t wanna hear that

Janis: You know he wouldn’t stay, wherever Jimmy goes he follows

Casey: I know, used to be me following the twat ‘round

Janis: Can’t picture it

Casey: picture us [and recounting a time when he shamelessly followed her around in his hardcore crush era as if it’s remotely the same lol but we can and will pretend]

Janis: So chuffed you thought I was cooler more recently 🥇

Casey: steady on, been years from when you last dived into a pool or hung ‘round on the side with your tiny shorts on

Casey: don’t impress us these days 🥉

Janis: Wow, bitchy

Janis: I’m not trying to impress you, boy

Casey: lucky for you, girl

Janis: That is an outfit I still have somewhere, if you wanna borrow the tiny shorts

Casey: tah, ain’t gonna be long before the washing piles up

Janis: You’re going to start buying paper plates to eat off, go in being a grotty bachelor 

Casey: takeout rids us of the need, I’ll pin the menus up and chuck a dart to pick

Janis: Sounds like a laugh, to be fair

Casey: ain’t hard to not be a misery guts, your missus just makes it look dead easy

Janis: It’s just the stress of all this, he’ll be fine 

Casey: in 8 years minimum, but nah, he’s the clingy sort, our kid’ll be 40 and still living with you

Janis: He fucking won’t be

Janis: I’ll move myself into the nearest psych ward

Casey: I’ll bring you [her fave snacks] on a paper plate

Janis: My hero

Casey: and [hilarious outfits or pieces of outfits he’s combining together from various shoots just for the lols] ‘til you look the part

Janis: tah for not saying I already do

Janis: can’t wait to tell ‘em all I used to be famous, get the good drugs 

Casey: have to check yourself into [somewhere] they’ll reckon it’s bollocks you’re chatting unless they clock you on the side of [a building that’s nearby genuinely and could be seen, because it kills me that he knows which buildings she’s on the side of in this town]

Janis: You’ll still visit?

Casey: long as we’re mates still

Janis: ‘Course we are

Janis: not that offended you don’t want to pick out paint with me

Casey: ages ‘til Bob’s old and full time sponging is what I meant

Casey: but ‘course I’ll carry all that heavy paint about for you

Janis: Oh, yeah, can’t treat myself to a medical holiday quite yet

Janis: bounce a tin off your head in a minute

Casey: I’m saving for a working holiday in [wherever is the clerbing destination of this era] if you’re after the good drugs before then

Casey: be a shout when you do your back in decorating

Janis: I should make you swallow a condom full 

Casey: far as fantasies go, you’ve had loads worse

Janis: Don’t reckon customs would be a fantasy for you though

Janis: Who are you going with?

Casey: shame prisons don’t mix, I could scrap the letter writing and go right for cell sharing

Casey: depends who’s got the cash, how fast my mates spend it’ll be on my own

Janis: A cell will do but not my box room, right

Janis: you’ll still have fun, everyone’s your mate when you’re all that off your face

Casey: offer to move Debs in when she gets out and I’ll think about it

Janis: Is there any world in which her and your dad get back together?

Casey: safe bet she’s a bigger lezza than you by now

Janis: Wouldn’t be hard, twat

Casey: dad wouldn’t be if she’s butched up

Janis: the pills do the hard work for him, no effort required

Casey: he’ll have to sort his own, I’m only swallowing condoms full of gear on your asking

Janis: Why we’re best mates

Casey: [a paint colour but made up in the way they have silly af names, for fun]’s what I’d paint it, if you’re asking

Janis: What the fuck colour is that in English, can’t even make an educated guess 

Casey: [an even sillier made up one] for the gym

Janis: For fuck’s sake

Janis: such a pisstake, how about you help me paint for real

Casey: alright

Janis: This whole place needs doing, it’s going to take ages

Casey: [tell her when you’re working and not so she knows that it’s a serious offer to help her paint]

Janis: It’s not fair to ask you, you won’t get any benefit from it

Casey: how much are you seriously getting off on [another silly fake paint name]

Casey: fumes or what the room looks like done

Janis: My new persona, you gotta entertain yourself any way you can when you’re a stay-at-home wife or whatever the fuck label we’re putting to it 

Casey: I told you, he’s your stay at home wife, it’s your house

Janis: Nah, it’s for all of us

Janis: if it were just for me, I’d have picked something else

Casey: why I said I dunno how to be happy for you

Janis: I know

Janis: but him being happy is important too

Casey: 🤞 this’ll make him

Janis: What more could he need?

Casey: personality transplant

Casey: set of balls

Casey: just 2 off the top of my head

Janis: Casey

Janis: it’s going to be different, not just because of the new address

Casey: more you say it, more it sounds like you’re just saying it

Janis: He doesn’t have to see Ian and he got Bobby out, that’s 2 out of 3

Janis: and I know you’ll be okay, even if you won’t leave

Casey: 3/3 and he’d not crack a smile but whatever, your joint wake

Janis: I’ll show you

Casey: I’ll paint one on the wall, cheer the place up any road

Janis: Do what you want in your room

Casey: [tell her what Ian has so far bribed you with for your room here because obvs he’s overjoyed this boy isn’t going]

Janis: That’s sad

Janis: and how could I possibly compete 

Casey: without trying you can’t, like

Janis: You’re only trying to look after him

Casey: someone has to

Janis: So I’m not going to try

Janis: this must be right

Casey: and I’m not going to act hard done by, nowt I’ve not done before or loads younger

Casey: least I ain’t juggling ‘em both on an arm each how I used to when she was about

Janis: I’ll look after these two, that’s something you don’t need to worry about no more either

Casey: what we dunno can’t hurt us

Janis: I guess

Janis: am just saying that though

Casey: right know it all, you

Casey: probably won’t apply

Janis: Gift and a curse, more of the latter

Janis: but I’ve got to be the 😁 one now you’ve pissed off

Casey: I’m staying put, you who’s packing up and pissing off

Janis: You’re the one that gets to be free to do whatever you want 

Casey: you who shackled yourself, I’d let you do whatever with a smile on my face

Janis: Didn’t, you don’t have any say in the matter when it happens

Casey: you have say in everything as it’s happening and later on

Janis: Don’t make me be patronising about it

Casey: don’t make us paint you [an even sillier colour]

Janis: I’d turn you [make up your own now] before you could even get a single stroke on me

Casey: total fantasy

Janis: truth, you’ll be finding it on you for weeks

Casey: *you’ll

Janis: I don’t have to let you win, you’re not a kid

Casey: I’m not letting you even when you sulk like one

Janis: You must be thinking of someone else

Janis: can’t be a sore loser if I never lose

Casey: nah, remembering you having a strop when you did, to me

Janis: Oh no, you’re delusional with grief

Janis: I’m just ‘round the corner, remember

Casey: dry your eyes, I’m not a kid, gonna beat you as standard now I’m taller and stronger

Janis: I’m still smarter and faster

Casey: I can read you, fuck books

Janis: and I know you, however grown-up you reckon you are now

Casey: you ain’t slow, give you that

Janis: Can’t take it away, no one can

Casey: last thing I fancy is taking something off you

Casey: unless it’s [the colour of paint she said she was gonna paint him]

Janis: I think it would suit you

Janis: but I’ll get you fair and square, not a charity case

Casey: go on, what colour do you reckon it is

Janis: A dark red, in my head

Janis: what did you think?

Casey: dunno, lifeguard red maybe

Casey: might be I’ve just got stuck thinking about that

Janis: Close though

Janis: and no one can fault you, [her coworker boy lol] was so fit

Casey: you’re leaving out [the girl, who isn’t fit but we will say it rn to wind her up]

Janis: It’s your fantasy, you are

Casey: yours if I’m bent for [this boy]

Janis: as if I’d share, if this were my fantasy

Casey: how would I know, your head it’s going on in

Janis: said you can read me

Casey: back then I were a kid, read you wrong loads

Janis: I was fucking up plenty, be why

Janis: not much logic being applied to follow

Casey: same

Janis: We were all kids

Casey: seems ages or a bit ago, depending on the day

Janis: It feels like yesterday with the day today has been

Janis: like we are properly blagging it, that we’ll get caught out and have to go back

Casey: if you wanna come back, I’ll act [however old he was when they met] and rip up your paperwork, say the word

Janis: Dunno if that is legally binding

Janis: but thanks, you’re still sweet even at your big age

Casey: still miss you even though you’re a massive dickhead

Janis: I’m gonna miss you too

Janis: you’re the worst for not coming

Casey: *you’re, for making me fancy it when it’d never work

Casey: false hope’s worse than none

Janis: It could

Janis: but you need to stay with him

Casey: based off [however many she’s lived with them] years experience, it wouldn’t

Janis: We survived, no casualties, not big ones anyway

Casey: you’ll live without us as another roommate

Janis: Don’t mean I have to be happy about it

Casey: nor do I you’re leaving us to rot

Janis: There’s no way I can do this and make you happy

Janis: you don’t wanna be here, you don’t want me there

Casey: you don’t get to be nowhere just you

Janis: I’m not just leaving you

Janis: I’ll come see you every day, make you sick of the sight of me

Casey: I’m sick of the role reversal, he’s meant to be my dad

Casey: what am I tucking him in for

Janis: He’s sick, if we’re being kind

Janis: a sick he’s never going to try to be any better than though, especially not with you being there to do everything for him

Casey: he needs a bit of kindness, I know I can’t make him better but

Casey: don’t mean sitting back and watching him get worse, from down the road at yours

Janis: He didn’t fight for him

Janis: what that tells me is he’s happy how he is

Casey: he don’t have to, our kid’s got you dickheads in his corner

Casey: who’s Ian got, me or nobody

Janis: You said it, he’s meant to be the dad

Casey: you said it, he’s sick

Janis: what about you

Casey: he’s all I’ve got too, she won’t see us

Janis: That’s not true, your brothers care about you

Casey: I heard, that there’s Jim’s guilt speaking, nothing else

Janis: You don’t need to be best mates for it to be true

Janis: I only tolerate most of my siblings, my ma, it’s still real

Casey: I don’t need him wringing his hands at what a bloody lost cause I am, all it ever is

Janis: But you’re not

Casey: tell that twat

Janis: I do, obviously

Janis: he just doesn’t know what to do about your temper

Casey: soz he can’t photoshop it out of us, like

Janis: He’s the one that feels like a failure, that’s what I mean

Casey: ain’t his job to fucking fix me, the patronising prick

Janis: if he could though, would you not let him

Janis: to be able to control it?

Casey: if he had the power he should turn it on himself

Janis: That’s my job

Casey: bollocks is it

Janis: Yes it is

Janis: didn’t say I’ve the power either

Casey: didn’t have to, bighead

Janis: Hardly

Janis: is he fixed? Not yet

Casey: ‘cause that ain’t your job

Janis: One of

Casey: can read a wage packet, mate, and I’ve never seen you get one through

Janis: I’ll bring that up

Casey: have a word, you’d be in a detached if the bellend paid you to be his carer even half the hours you put in

Janis: Nah, I’d feel too much like my sister, whose gym isn’t where her dining table should be

Casey: maybe she’s onto something

Janis: You try it then, find a rich middle-aged woman

Casey: if I wanted my head kicked in by a fuming old man I’ve one at home, tah

Janis: Too soon, boy

Casey: nah, been ages, years

Janis: [the age he was], I remember

Janis: don’t mean it’s time to spoil for a fight now

Casey: never said I was

Janis: Promise

Janis: or we’ll be having one

Casey: with paint, I remember

Casey: it’s a date [the first time his schedule which he gave her allows]

Janis: [saying you can’t do this date but picking the next one after that]

Janis: sounds like a plan

Casey: [show her that you’ve marked it in your phone calendar, I like to think in a dark red like she said she was imagining because who is he if not that bitch]

Janis: Never get the deposit back anyway

Casey: how much is it

Janis: [tell him, idek but probably a fair amount for that place], RIP

Casey: I’ll get it for you in [this clerbing hol destination]

Janis: No you won’t, you’re going to enjoy every penny of it

Casey: I’d enjoy handing every penny over

Janis: I don’t need your money, I only want you to be happy

Casey: let me make you then

Janis: You do

Janis: shut up

Casey: you shut up, I don’t need the money, you’ve got proper grown up bills and that, rooms you ain’t worked out what to fill with

Janis: I weren’t relying on you paying rent to make it work, promise

Janis: you’ve earnt the money, it’s yours

Casey: not yet I’ve not, but I already want you to have it

Janis: Why?

Casey: ‘cause then I’m part of it, you’ll not just forget about us over here

Janis: I’m never going to forget about you, idiot

Janis: I want you to be a part of it, you don’t have to buy it

Casey: what else can I do

Janis: You’re going to help me paint, we’re going to buy furniture for the spare room, and you can come ‘round at least once a week to work out with me, yeah?

Janis: For starters

Casey: okay

Janis: and message me, whenever you want to talk

Casey: write you up a receipt charging myself by the minute, even with mates rates you’ll soon get your payday

Janis: It’s going to be really weird you not being close

Janis: I can’t get my head ‘round it

Casey: I am, we’ll run it, prove it

Janis: okay

Casey: it’ll be

Janis: Yeah, fuck getting all morbid, sorry

Casey: I get it, I’d rather you was on the other side of the wall

Casey: felt more than far enough

Janis: I knew you would, no need to explain

Janis: I liked living with you, even with all the other dickheads about

Casey: I reckoned we’d have longer, weren’t meant to be some fantasy

Janis: You know I want to take it back, even though I can’t and that’d be a stupid idea to anyone else

Casey: You know I weren’t joking about ripping your forms up

Janis: You would

Janis: if you’d have said you were happy, I’d have felt betrayed

Casey: and I could lob your key over next door’s, never find it in their unmowed grass

Janis: I’ll hide there too

Casey: I dunno about it being that tall

Casey: but you can hide under my bed and I won’t even take the piss

Janis: Probably leftovers I could live on, yeah

Janis: might be quite nice

Casey: I’ll drop [more of her food faves]

Janis: You always have been a soft touch with Twix

Casey: oi, most well trained bitch in all of Dublin, her

Janis: Not my best work but hey, you’re pretty well-behaved

Casey: stay with me then

Janis: I’m not leaving you

Janis: I’m not even leaving Ian, they have to but we’re not gone, I’m not

Casey: you’re gone from here, it won’t be the same

Casey: you said, you kept saying

Janis: We’ll be the same, no matter what else is fucked, we always are

Casey: I won’t be able to stand it otherwise

Janis: Neither could I

Casey: you’re my best human mate

Janis: I’ll take it, she’s pretty sound competition 

Casey: when are you taking her

Janis: You should keep her, that’s only fair

Casey: what about Bob

Janis: Do him good to come get her for walks, remind him he’s meant to

Casey: remind him he’s got 2 brothers, you mean

Janis: That too

Casey: [send her a picture of Twix that looks like she’s grinning how dogs do, like she’s buzzing to stay when we all know she rightly hates Ian forever and always, oh my heart, this doomed by the narrative diva]

Janis: 😍

Janis: Never get away with hiding with her about

Casey: [not you sending more disgustingly adorable content of you hiding this pup in your jacket or hoodie, this time a little vid cos she keeps peeping out licking his face as he tries to like yeah true, he’s here grinning and loling as the vid goes on like oh you tehe girl]

Janis: If I was any other girl 

Janis: might cry about that

Casey: you’d set her off

Janis: I’m closer than I was when we were first sharing walking her

Janis: [bus number] took much longer than [the time you’ve said it takes to get to theirs from your new place]

Janis: won’t need to miss her

Casey: I’ll pass that on when she’s doing my head in whinging for you in a bit

Janis: Get a grip, babe 

Casey: *baby

Casey: she said get it right, you’re the grown up bitch

Janis: She’ll do well to quit the language if she’s such a baby then

Casey: [a picture of Twix yawning like she’s calling Janis an old boring bitch]

Casey: what your first word weren’t the c one, could’ve sworn I heard that somewhere

Janis: Would’ve been if I’d have known what I was being brought into

Janis: but I will admit to not knowing everything the second I opened my eyes, alright

Casey: day you’ve had’s catching up to you, I get it

Janis: You wait 

Janis: you’re only doing the fun bits of adult life now

Casey: told you, can all be fun

Casey: you’re doing it wrong

Janis: Am I

Casey: yeah

Janis: I’m glad for you, how’s that?

Janis: slightly more sincere than pretending I am about you staying behind

Casey: how about you’re too young and fit to be this fucking old

Casey: I’m not gonna pretend that ain’t a waste

Janis: I’m not old

Casey: exactly

Janis: You know what I mean

Casey: you know what I do an’ all

Janis: This is what we chose

Casey: being backed into a corner’s how you get robbed of choices, not when you should make ‘em

Janis: I’ve got more choice than most

Janis: Years left of travelling the world and getting paid for it, if I want it

Casey: you’ve got more cash

Casey: ‘til you spunk most of your earnings on a trolley full of ikea’s finest

Janis: Just saying, making it sound like I’ve been locked up in the loft when I’m not often in the country ain’t gonna convince many of your point

Casey: I’d be chuffed if you was chained up in the loft, least that’d explain what you’re playing at

Janis: This is what people do

Janis: yeah, sooner than most but you know why that is

Casey: you’re not like them people

Janis: As a compliment or an insult?

Casey: you know what as

Janis: My teenage superiority complex was gonna run thin eventually

Janis: not that there’s many people to push away 

Casey: if you’re not bothered about packing it, leave it here with us

Janis: You’ve your own, hand me downs are for the kid

Casey: only fair you’ve your own shrine, he’s having one

Janis: You do have the room

Casey: I’ll build it in yours, save the [an approx measurements like she gave for the lols] going spare

Janis: Save some hair and nail clippings up for you

Casey: be some in the plug

Janis: Yeah, along with all of your gross boy body hair

Janis: dunno when the chore wheel last doled that job out, months worth down there

Casey: don’t worry, I’ll be able to tell the difference, just about

Janis: pube head is a very retro racial dig, so Ian

Casey: can have that one for free

Janis: I don’t pay to be humiliated, but my inbox is always full of requests to dole them out

Casey: he won’t have to pay for a round off the back of that, go down a treat with his mates

Janis: have to give me their names and I’ll tell you what mad shit they’ve sent us, attached to their name and face, old blokes never make a blank account

Casey: [do but we all know he’s giving hilarious fake ones like the paint colours, just being silly, it’s giving boaty mcboatface but with racist, sexist drunk old men vibes lol]

Janis: Flexing your creativity on ‘em, I see

Janis: so young, so talented

Casey: make us blush [the dark red paint colour] in a minute

Janis: [another made up colour that is giving light pink in our opinion] at best, not exactly competition down at [whatever sad old man pub Ian frequents]

Casey: never see the like of it unless they end up in the ladies

Janis: Probably not been fresh air flow through that room since the 90s

Janis: talk about a real waste of space

Casey: 90s is generous

Janis: True, the hairspray fumes would be lethal from the perms of memories past

Casey: you’d know, probably fresh as in yours 👩🏽‍🦳

Janis: Absolute cheek

Janis: why don’t you look closer to home 🐩

Casey: what home’s that

Janis: Are you going to keep guilt-tripping me forever

Casey: a bit much

Casey: ‘til the 90s come ‘round again maybe

Janis: Planning to be over it when you’re 👨🏻‍🦳

Casey: not planning on getting 👨🏻‍🦳

Casey: so in a way, yeah

Janis: in a fit forever way, yeah

Casey: in a I’d rather be dead one

Janis: Yeah wouldn’t we all but you’re not allowed, soz

Casey: do what I want now

Janis: no you don’t

Casey: what you gonna do, lock me in your loft

Casey: in your dreams, mate

Janis: If I have to

Casey: you and who

Janis: don’t need anyone else

Casey: you’re in a proper deep sleep if you reckon you won’t need a hand

Janis: Right, I am

Casey: wake up and get back to me

Janis: I’m tired, of it all

Casey: ‘course you are

Casey: no box of a decent size to pack up and shove in the furthest corner of the loft, takes the piss

Janis: Just because it’s the right thing to do, don’t make it the ideal

Janis: better choice, sure but I still haven’t got a clue what I’m doing, how am I meant to parent a kid the same age as my little sister?

Casey: tell me about it, dad weren’t my top pick roommate neither

Casey: you ain’t meant to, but bit late to stop

Janis: Only marginally better of one than he is a father, good for the rent at least

Janis: Jimmy would’ve done it without me

Casey: he’s got no choice, his little brother, you did, he’s not yours

Janis: Past tense is right

Casey: running was what you done, only on the spot now though

Casey: and Bob’ll go circles round the both of you

Janis: I could be sulky about it before, at a point I have to grow up and take things as they are

Casey: they won’t notice how gutted you are, too buzzing themselves, be alright

Janis: Oh yeah, really trust them pair to bring the party

Janis: now I know you’re chatting shit

Casey: you wouldn’t know a party if I brought you one on a paper plate so I dunno what you’re chatting about

Janis: Just ‘cos I don’t frequent [where he’s working rn] and buy your overpriced drinks

Casey: ‘cause you don’t go nowhere unless you’re paid to

Janis: Duh, don’t get out of bed either, the prerogative 

Casey: you wanna try getting a life before it’s all parents’ evenings and pocket money

Janis: And I’d take advice from a child on that

Janis: what do you do that’s actually so wildly different from me?

Casey: all the kids you’re chatting to ain’t none of my business 

Janis: piss off

Casey: you

Casey: your his and hers rut has got nothing to do with me

Janis: There’s no rut, the problem isn’t with us

Casey: 👌

Casey: blame the kid, you’re thinking like his mum already

Janis: Jesus, don’t

Casey: lad’s too big to shake again, however strong you reckon you are

Janis: Don’t compare me to your mother

Janis: you don’t think I feel guilty enough for not fully wanting to do this with him

Janis: that I have to keep that to myself or he won’t look at us the same

Casey: he don’t look at you anyway

Janis: fuck you

Casey: wake up

Janis: You’re biased

Casey: you’re gonna spend the rest of your fittest years with someone who don’t even see you, for what

Janis: ‘cos that ain’t all he cares about

Casey: he cares about saving Bob from us, job done, you might get a scrap of attention in a bit, yeah

Janis: From your dad

Janis: it can’t be you because he begged you to come too, remember

Casey: I am dad when it suits him

Casey: double save, he’ll be getting it up for that, not for you

Janis: God, you are bloody immature

Casey: he begged for his last chance to turn me into somebody else, like he has you

Janis: I’m who I’ve always been

Janis: him not wanting you to smack him rather than talk to him is hardly groundbreaking stuff, of course he wants to have a better relationship with you

Casey: nah, you’re his neutered bitch, buying him houses and raising kids who don’t belong to neither of you

Casey: I’d sooner turn into dad [however many idk I’m not an alcoholic man, a lot is the point] pints deep, at his worst, than that prick

Casey: he don’t talk, he fucking can’t

Janis: I’m well aware who you’ve more recently hero-worshipped 

Janis: Good luck with that task

Casey: yeah, you, that’s why it’s bollocks you’ve gone

Janis: why would you do a stupid thing like that

Casey: where am I meant to look now, a broke mirror

Casey: I needed you to be who you used to, not this

Janis: I can’t be all the people I’m needed to be

Casey: they don’t need you, they’ve got each other

Casey: I know you’ve felt as elbowed out as me

Janis: I’m not jealous of their relationship, that would be mental of me

Casey: who’s talking about jealousy

Casey: he wants you watered down as the measures at work

Janis: I’m a lot to handle

Casey: fuck that

Janis: It’s the truth, where the fuck are my mates that aren’t you

Casey: where would you find mates who ain’t cunty models, I told you, you don’t do owt

Janis: I didn’t have none before then either

Casey: at school, was a shithole, other than Gracie who did

Casey: look how that went

Janis: I’m not the one that’s bothered, you keeps banging on about me having no life

Casey: tell your face it’s not bothered, dickhead

Janis: 😁 there

Casey: you don’t fool me

Janis: You don’t know me if you think friends are what I need

Casey: you’re the one who brought mates up, I never

Janis: What do I need then

Casey: ain’t for no kid to tell you, what I heard

Janis: right

Casey: but running or going down the gym can’t be the only time the switch is flicked for you, that kills me

Janis: It is going to be different

Janis: the stress of this has been all he’s thought about 

Janis: but like you said, it’s done, we can both get back on track

Casey: what you keep banging on about

Janis: It’s true, but alright, I know you don’t wanna hear it

Casey: don’t go, that’s what I want, since you’re asking

Janis: How can I stay

Casey: he’s never touched him

Janis: I know

Janis: that ain’t enough when the kid is still scared shitless of him

Casey: he’s scared shitless of everything but Jim’s shadow, his own included

Janis: Not disagreeing 

Janis: letting a kid watch him smacking other people about is just as fucked though

Casey: no need to make it sound like we’re selling tickets

Casey: we don’t let him watch

Janis: He’s seen it, you know he has

Janis: the aftermath if nothing else

Casey: meaning the damage is done

Janis: I’ve signed the fucking paperwork

Janis: even if there was changing his mind of it, which there ain’t, it’s too late for me to back out

Casey: set it on fire, piss on it, use your imagination

Casey: Twix would eat it for you

Janis: No room for his shoes if she spoils her appetite like that

Janis: we have to do this, me and you

Casey: spoiled already by [something this dog absolutely should not have had, giving not even human food like when my chavy carer at uni’s dog had a chewed up tv remote in her bed], eating her feelings, her

Janis: Just like Gracie, shit perm an’ all

Casey: not as much of a slag down the park, something at least

Casey: might as well move her in otherwise, keep me company

Janis: Hope she’s not still slagging down the park, her big age

Janis: You wanted space, not company

Casey: you who said that’s what I wanted

Janis: I don’t want to leave you

Janis: I’ve told you that

Casey: and I can’t leave my dad to choke on his [however many I said before] pints when they come back up

Janis: No, I know

Casey: you don’t, it gets left to me

Janis: And he took on Bobby, you both got jobs

Casey: he took the job he had the stomach for

Janis: probably

Casey: no one draws you a picture to say tah for the shit I do, even you’ll piss on his grave when he’s in it

Janis: You have got to take this up with him, not me

Janis: I wasn’t there

Casey: I have, deaf ears all ‘round

Janis: When? 

Casey: what’s when matter

Casey: he don’t give a fuck what I’ve got to say

Janis: It matters

Janis: so does if you were having a row at the time

Casey: when are we not

Casey: raging’s all I ever am, gets to call what I’m telling him bollocks then

Janis: If you’ve got a point you’ve got a point

Casey: not to him

Janis: You need to make yourself heard and he needs to hear it

Casey: good one, mate

Janis: Feels like nothing but a joke at this point

Janis: I can’t be stuck in the middle of it, it doesn’t achieve sod all

Casey: something there about a punchline I can’t be bothered to pull out

Casey: and you won’t be no more, you’ve picked what side you’re on

Janis: No I haven’t, I’m not picking a fucking side

[inact-ice]

Episode 10!!!!!

I’m almost doooooone

- aw Abby

- she’s leaving soon right, noooo

- bucks holding Abby so gently like my queen deserves

- Abby girl you better be taking a leave of absence rn to heal

- yeah I figured cause the British accent was so fake sounding

- ok bobby and Athena hintsss

- ABBY WAS IN THE OLYMPICS?!! AND NOBODY TOLD MEEEE. Ugh Abigail Clark you can do no wrong

- Bobbert, who are you getting all cute for sir??? Oh dear. Someone take this camera away from him. Chimney he’s watching porn at WORK!

- hen don’t project your cheating nonsense onto this please

- OMG THE CATFISH EPISODE! Oh yeah everyone just thought he was cheating, omg these buncha HATERS! Nobody would ever cheat on Abby bc she is perfect

- did black people write this? Why would May get twists when her hairs silk pressed? Anyways

- hello mean gay husband, your eyes are such a light brown wow.

- why are these people so chill about cheating. Hen you don’t need to have an existential crisis, just apologize and admit you did something bad

- ABBY! How are you doing girl? Oh she’s gonna travel lots to kinda fulfill her mom’s dream too? SHES BACK TO WORK- Abigail is that healthy?

- this is such a terrifying situation fr like he coulda gotten dissected! This guys’ a freak… but he’s kinda cute

- hi Karen, I’m tired of this too girl. “I love you biiiiitch, I ain’t never gon stop loving you biiitch” ass confrontation

- ABBY! Omg these main character situations are stressing my girl OUT, poor girl. Oh and these women need to stop hurting buck, like I get why but Jesus

- oh fuckkk, being ripped in half is crazy. Oh shitttttt, yeah this is a tough one. The way Bobby’s crawling is so much, he like collapsed in on himself

- ok Athena and bobby moment! OK ATHENA AND BOBBY MOMENT???

- Ayo rebar, bucks so mad wow valid. Chimney is being kind of a jerk, why’s everyone in this house so cool w/ cheating????

- does buck not know what an ip address is

- BOBBY TOOK ATHENA TO CHURCH FOR THE FIRSY DATE??? LITERALLY AND NOT EUPHAMISTICALLY?? Is he well? Not Athena being into this shit puh LEASE

- buck close your damn mouth there are MAGGOTS in the windows. Is buck gonna fight this coroner? Oh ok. Gross. Yeah fuck you coroner guy

- chimney I understand you on a spiritual level

- Abby I understand if this was all too much and you need to break up with buck bc you’d be so valid. Aw man. WAIT SHES LEAVING YES DUBLIN

- I’m realizing that the amount I like Abby might be making me dislike buck a little bit lmao, like that’s MY girlfriend sir

- Abby I will mourn your time on this show

- you know abby gets credit for buck 2.0 or whatever, but buck helped Abby change for the better in a lot of ways too. I don’t think she would have learned to prioritizeherself like this without him

- BOBBY AND ATHENA DATE YIPPEE

- Abby please don’t narrate us out worth Florence and the machine playing rn

- Karen… well I know this doesn’t affect anything again ever so whatever

- so glad chimneys gonna get railed

- ABBY DONT GO, TAKE ME WITH YOU!! WHERES THE ABBY TRAVELLING CRIMFIGHTING SUPERHERO SPIN-OFF! NO GOD WHY DONT TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME WHYYY TAKE BUCK INSTEAD

- can’t even be happy about the bobby and Athena date because I’m crying so hard.

- that was a lie, Athena you look HOT! Bobby, wear tighter pants

- ABBY NOOO, DONT PLAY THE LINE GOING OFF NOOOO and we won’t see her ever again, this city can’t survive without Batman

This episode was fine, but they should’ve focused more on Abby, I think they were trying to do a gentle perspective switch to be more in Bucks pov to really prepare us for her leaving, but i needed to see more of my queen to prepare for her leaving. She didn’t even say bye to Athena! Ig it was a fine conclusion for the first season tho, I’ll collect all my thoughts on this season later after I finish mourning

[archiefm]

         ... claws my way up from hell once more and vomits onto the dash.... hello. its nora. i used to write rory bergstrom, but if u were here before that u might remember me as greta or alma putnam or..... som1 else.... an endless carousel of trash children..... this is finn, who i actually wrote for an early version of this rp abt 5yrs back now...... grits teeth..... so forgive me if im rusty i havent written him in a long time but seein honey boy gave me a lotta finn muse n im keen to get Back On The Horse yeehaww...

DYLAN O’BRIEN / CIS-MALE — don’t look now, but is that finn o’callaghan i see? the 25 year old criminology and forensic studies student is in their graduate year of study year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be judicious, adroit, morose and cynical, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he will make a name for themselves living off-campus. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her )

shakes my tin can a humble pinterest, ma’am....

finn has a bio pasted at the bottom (n written in like.... 2015.... gross) but it’s long  so if u don’t wanna read it here’s the sparknotes summary..... anyway this was written years ago n a lot of it seems really cliche and lame now but..... we accept the trash we think we deserve

grumpy, ugly sweater wearing, tech-savvy grandpa

very dry sense of humour and embraces nihilism. 

if ron swanson and april ludgate had a baby it would be finn

he was raised in derry, just south of dublin.

from a big family. elder sister called sinead. he also has a younger sister (aoife), a younger brother (colm), and a collie named lassie because his father lovs cliches (finn hates cliches but loves his dog). 

his father was a pub landlord and his mother worked at the market sellin fruit n veg when they met but got a job as a medical receptionist when she had kids cos it meant she cld be there with them in the day and work nights.

his parents met when they were p young and fiesty and rushed into marriage cos they were catholic n just wanted to have sex. his family were literally dirt-poor, but they had a lot of love i guess

hmmmmm his relationship w his father wasn’t the best cos i can’t write character who have healthy relationships w their parents throws up a peace sign. yh, had a pretty emotionally distant, alcoholic violent father n so gets a lot of his bad habits i.e. drinking as a coping mechanism and poor anger management from him BUT anyway

as a kid he was never very motivated in class, he always had a nervous itch to be off somewhere doing something else. struggled under government austerity bcso there just wasn’t the resources to support low income families where the kids had learning difficulties n needed support. fuck the tories am i right 

his mum suggested he try sports to help w his restless energy but he was never any good at football so he took up boxing and tap dance instead. he took to tap dancing like a fish to fuckin water. as adhd n found this as a really good way to use his excess energy in a creative way

had a few run ins with the police in his early teens for spray painting and graffiti, but he straightened himself out n now actually considering becoming a detective inspector??? cops are pigs.

he had a youtube channel where he posted videos of him tapdancing and breakdancing as a kid, basically would be a tiktok boy nowadays, n had like... a small fanbase in his early teens. attended several open auditions unsuccessfully, until he was finally cast in billy eliot when he was fifteen.

during billy eliot he began dating an italian dancer called nina. they became dance partners soon after and toured across the republic with various different shows (inc riverdance lol the classic irish stereotype). their relationship was p toxic tbh, they were both very hot tempered people and just used to argue and fight all the time.

he went semi-pro at tap dancing, and nina couldn’t stand being second best so she moved back to italy with her family. ignored his texts, phone calls, etc, eventually he was driven to the point where he used his savings to buy a plane ticket, showed up at her house and she was like wtf?? freaked out and filed a restraining order accusing him of stalking.

he was fined for harassment and then returned home to derry, but after the incident with nina he quit dancing for good and finished his leaving cert before heading to university in the US to get as far away from nina and his past life as poss. and basically since he quit dancing to study forensics (death kink. finn cant get enough of that morgue. just walks around sayin beat u) he’s become a massive grump and jsut doesn’t see the good in people any more.

u’ll find finn in an old man bar drinking whiskey bc he is in fact an old man at heart or sat on his roof smoking a joint, drawing wolves and lions and skeletons and shit, playing call of duty or getting blazed or at the corner of the room in a house party ignoring everyone and scrolling through twitter. is a massive e-boy. always up-to-date on memes and internet slang. has reddit as an app on his phone

not very good at communication. rather than solve his issues by talking, he’d prefer to just solve them through fighting or running away from his problems hence why he has come halfway across the world to get away from an issue which probs cld have been solved w a few apology emails.

takes a lot to phase him, but when his beserk button gets pressed he can become a bit pugnacious like an angry lil rottweiler. in his undergrad he was in a few fist fights but doesn’t really do tht any more as he doesn’t condone violence.

 in the previous version of this rp he was hospitalised like 5 times. pls, give my son a break. stop tryin to kill him. he literaly got a bottle smashed over his head and bled out all over his favourite angora rug that was the only light of his life

works at the campus coffee shop n always whines about how he’s a slave to capitalism. always smells of coffee

lives off campus with an elderly woman named Marianne, and basically gets reduced rent bcos he makes her dinner / keeps her company. they have a great bond

fan of karl marx. v big on socialism

insomniac with chronic nosebleeds

cynical about everything. too much of a fight club character 4 his own good n has his head up tyler durden’s sphincter

always confused or annoyed

statistics

basic information

full name: finnegan seamus o'callaghan nickname(s): finn age: 25 astrological sign: aries hometown: derry, ireland occupation: phd student / former street entertainer fatal flaw: cynicism positives: self-reliant, street smart, relaxed, intelligent, spontaneous, brave, independent, reliable, trustworthy, loyal. negatives: hostile, impulsive, stubborn, brooding, pugnacious, untrusting, cynical, enigmatic, reserved.

physical

colouring: medium hair colour: dark brown, almost black eye colour: brown height: 5’9” weight: 69kg build: tall, athletic voice: subtle irish accent, low, smooth. dominant hand: left scar(s): one on the left side of his ribs from a knife wound that he doesn’t remember getting cos he was drunk distinguishing marks: freckles, tattoo of a wolf howling at a moon allergies: pollen and the full spectrum of human emotion alcohol tolerance: high drunken behaviour: he becomes friendlier, far more conversational than when sober, flirtier, and generally more self-confident.

psychological

dreams/goals: self-fulfilment, travel the globe, experience life in its most alive and technicoloured version, make documentary films, help the vulnerable in society, grow as a human being.

skills: jack-of-all-trades, very fast runner, good at thieving things, talented tap dancer, good in crisis situations, dab-hand at mechanics, musically-intelligent, can throw a mean right hook and very capable of defending himself, can roll a cigarette, memorises quotes and passages of literature with ease, can light a match with his teeth.

likes: the smell of the earth after rain, poetry, cigarettes, shakespeare, whiskey, tattoos, travelling, ac/dc, deep conversations, leather jackets, open spaces, the smell of petrol, early noughties ‘emo phase’ anthems.

dislikes:  the government, parties, rules, donald trump, children, apple products, weddings, people in general, small talk, dependency, loneliness, pop music, public transport, justin timberlake, uncertainty.fears: fear itself, drowning alignment: true neutral mbti: istp – “while their mechanical tendencies can make them appear simple at a glance, istps are actually quite enigmatic. friendly but very private, calm but suddenly spontaneous, extremely curious but unable to stay focused on formal studies, istp personalities can be a challenge to predict, even by their friends and loved ones. istps can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but they tend to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking their interests in bold new directions.” (via 16personalities.com)

full bio (lame as fuck written years ago..... pleathe...)

tw homophobia

born in quigley’s pub on the backstreets of sunny dublin, young finnegan o'callaghan was thrown kicking and screaming into the rowdy suburbs of irish drinking culture. the son of a landlord and a fishwife, he never had much in the way of earnings, but there was never a dull moment in his lively estate, where asbo’s thrived, but community spirit conquered. at school, finn was pegged as lazy and unmotivated, though truly his dyslexia made it hard for the boy to learn in the same environment of his peers and only made him more closed-off in class. struggling with anger management, finn moved from school to school, unable to fit the cookie-cutter mould that school enforced on him, though whilst academic studies were of little interest to the boy, he soon found his true passions lay in recreational activities. immersed into the joys of sport from as young as four, finn was an ardent munster fan and anticipated nothing more than the day he could finally fit into his brother’s old pair of rugby boots.

his calling finally came unexpectedly, not in the form of rugger, but through dance. to learn to express himself in a non-academic way, he began tap dancing, finding therapy in the beat of his soles against the cracked kitchen tiles (much to his mother’s disgrace). it wasn’t a conscious choice, finn just realised one day that dance was something that made him feel. a king of the streets, finn made his fortune on those cobbled pavements – dancing and drawing to earn his keep. by default, finn became a street artist, each penny he earned from his chalk drawings saved in a jam jar towards buying his first pair of tap shoes. though many of his less-than-amiable neighbours called him a nancy and a gaybo, finn refused to quit at his somewhat ‘unconventional’ hobby, for the young scrapper found energy, life, and released anger through the rhythm of tap. soon he branched out into street dance, hip hop, break dancing, lyrical, his days spent smacking his scuffed feet against the broken patio into the night.

when he was thirteen he took up boxing, and as expected, his newfound ‘macho’ pastime conflicted with his dancing. the boxers called him ‘soft’; the dancers called him ‘inelegant’. he felt like two different people; having to choose between interests was like being handed a knife and asked to which half of himself he wished to cut away. he couldn’t afford professional training in dance, with most schools based in england and limited scholarships available. instead, he made the street his studio, racking up a small fanbase on youtube. when he was fifteen he made his debut in billy eliot at the olympia theatre in dublin. enter nina de souza, talented, beautiful and italian; ballet dancer, operatic singer, genius whiz kid, and spoiled brat. she was selfish, conceited, hell bent on getting her own way, and every director’s nightmare. finn fell for her like a house of cards. he’d always had a soft spot for girls who meant trouble. and so their hellish courtship began.

by the time they were seventeen, the two young swans had danced in every playhouse across the republic. they were known in theatres across the country for their tempestuous personalities, their raging arguments with one another, their tendency to drop out of shows altogether without any notice, yet the money kept rolling in and the audiences continued to grow. for three years, their families continued to put up with their hysterical fights followed by passionate reconciliations. he was too possessive, and she was too wild. their carcrash of a relationship finally came to a catastrophic halt when nina broke off the whole affair and returned to italy with her family. for months finn tried to contact her, yet his phone calls, texts, facebook messages were always ignored, until finally he was driven to drastic measures and used his savings to get a plane to her home town. when finn turned up uninvited at nina’s house she freaked out – and rightly so – she contacted her agent, accused him of stalking her, and had a restraining order placed against him. finn was arrested, held in a station overnight, and charged with harassment before he was allowed to return to dublin.

after the incident with nina, finn lost the fight in his eyes. he became far more hostile, far less likely to retaliate with his own fists, and picked fights not for the thrill of feeling his own fists pummel another into a wall, but for the sensation of his own brittle bones cracking. he dropped his tap shoes in a dumpster, stopped talking to his friends, followed his father’s advice and went back to school to complete his leaving certificate. a few short months later, and finn was packing his bags, saying his bittersweet goodbyes, and travelling half-way across the globe to be as far away as possible from his past self, his mess of a life, and most of all nina. it seemed somehow ironic that the boy who had been cautioned by the garda so much during his youth for spray painting, busking without a liscence, and raucous parties would become the grumpy, aloof overseas student studying a degree in criminology; that his once reckless spirit could be crushed so easily. 

of all things that finn could be called, straightforward would never be one of them. ever since his first days in atticus, the boy was pegged as hostile, hot-headed, cynical, rude. he seemed to spend more time in his thoughts than engaging in conversation. like a ticking time-bomb, finn’s anger was of the calm kind, liable to explode without a moment’s noticed. his unpredictable personality make him something of an enigma to those who aren’t amiable with the lad, though hostile as he may appear, he harvests a good heart. loyalty lies at the centre of his affections, and whilst his friends are few in number, he makes a lifelong partner. somewhere within finn, there’s still some fight left, but mostly he has recognised that his hedonistic lifestyle did little to leave him fulfilled – mostly, it just emptied him out – and over his three years at university has resigned himself to a nihilistic predicament.

        if u wanna plot with me pls pls pls im me or like this post!! i am always game for plots i love em so excited to write with you all here r some ideas

study buddies. finn is now a phd student so has to start takin shit seriously. he gon be in the library every day doing that independent study. if he had ppl who were also regular library goers n they get each other coffees to save time.... tht wld be sweet

ppl who love techno dj sets and going super hard on the weekends!!! fuck yea

friends with benefits. exes on bad terms. ppl he tried to date but couldnt because he’s always emotionally hung up on someone else. spicy hook up plots

ppl he met touring?? maybe ppl who were also in the entertainment industry..... anyone got a character who is ex circus hit me up

does anyone else study criminology / forensics / criminal psych / law? phd students sometimes lecture so he cld be an assistant lecturer / tutor if ur character is in a younger year

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

finn goes to the skatepark and all the young boys there think he’s a gradnpa which he is! 

[thedesperatehousehusband]

Tis Lucky To Be Irish

2019 has really been wild thus far. Travel has been incessant. Work has been intense. So what do we do in that situation? We take a vacation. Which means more travel but I am always OK with personal travel. There’s a lot of world to see.

Three years ago, we celebrated Juan’s dad’s 70th birthday with a trip to Prague and Budapest. We had a ball. So we suggested we take another trip together. We told him to tell us where he wanted to visit. He decided on Ireland and Scotland. We’ve been to Edinburgh but that’s it so we were totally cool with the choice.

Today I’m going to focus on Ireland. I’ll get back at you with my thoughts on Scotland.

Here are some observations on the home of leprechauns.

1. Dublin is as everyone says. You can do it justice in a couple of days. We had fun for sure. There’s cool stuff but it’s not an amazing city.

2. Despite what is anecdotally said about the food being boring, we sought out kick ass places including Michelin starred restaurants. We don’t mess around with food.

3. To that end....we need to take a detox from chips. So. Many. Fried. Potatoes. Those tubers are a thing.

4. Pubs are a dime a dozen. You can’t even count them. There’s no way to know a cool one from a blah one. They all are very similar but we did our best to seek out neat ones.

5. To that end...the Irish drink. A lot. But beer is relatively low in alcohol and no one is doing craft beers with 11% alcohol. Whiskey is plentiful. We took the advice of bartenders on which ones to try. Despite all the whiskey, a good cocktail is hard to come by. Just do your whiskey neat, with water or with a cube or two of ice. You’ll be happier.

6. Driving is intense. I did not drive. Juan did all the driving. There are interstates which are easy. City driving is fine. It’s the fucking country roads that really take you out of your element. They are narrow as fuck. They are curvy as fuck. There are cow crossings. You know what I don’t want to encounter? A switchback turn where you are blind to the fact that a two-ton bovine is meandering across the road. Nope. They were some white-knuckled moments when you had to share the narrow ass lanes with a tractor. More than once, Juan said “As soon as we park, I need a drink.” But he did an amazing job. I, however, do not think driving on the left is for me.

7. There are not nearly as many red heads as I had hoped. It’s my one disappointment.

8. I was surprised by the prominence of the Church of Ireland (which was at one point the Church of England). I just assumed everyone was Catholic. That is not the case.

9. Galway is really fun. A cultural and arts hub so we were right at home.

10. Killarney is lovely. Super cute and bustling.

11. The Killarney National Park is wonderful. We walked to Torc Waterfall and various other points of interest. The lakes are so clear. They are not muddy and murky. The air is sooooooo clean. Juan’s dad said he hadn’t inhaled such fresh oxygen in years. Mexico City is polluted AF. There are more mountains in Ireland than I expected. We saw some birds but very few critters. Maybe there are no critters in Ireland.

12. Kilkenny is a delight. The Kilkenny Castle is amazing. That was for sure a highlight.

13. Kildare is a shithole. We just stopped there for a quick look on the way back to Dublin. Big mistake. That was the only little town that felt like American little towns. Boarded storefronts. The opioid crisis. Rattle trap houses.

14. We opted not to do the Ring of Kerry. We didn’t want to devote a day to it and the driving is allegedly intense especially with tour buses. Agnes, our rented Volvo, deserves better than being nicked by a tour bus full of American seniors.

15. It really is green. Gorgeously so. The views are spectacular. There’s a lot of fucking sheep and cows. Wool and butter are important.

16. We did not find a four-leaf clover.

17. We did not find a leprechaun.

18. We did find that even good fish’n chips are still just fish’n chips.

19. To that end...their malt vinegar is clear as opposed to brown. Just another way the Irish give a big “Fuck You” to the United Kingdom.

20. And finally, for a country known to be damp, moist and rainy a big chunk of the time, we never encountered rain. Never. Not once. We hauled around umbrellas for 11 days. We always take umbrellas on trips. But it’s the one thing we are happy to never use. I don’t how we missed rain. You can call it the luck of the Irish. You can call it meteorology. I don’t care. The bottom line is we deserve nice things and we are living our best lives. And that’s why it didn’t rain. Slainté!

[jadeg2212-blog]

Varadkar is a bollocks

I’m just gonna use here to vent as to why I think our new gay Taoiseach isn’t as progressive as the empty heads I’ve been talking to think he is because nobody will have this conversation with me and it’s making me a bit agitated.

FIRST OF ALL let me give a bit of back story on the imposter. Leo Varadkar is the leader of Fine Gael, he also happens to be gay and he also happens to be the son of an immigrant. His dad is Indian and his mother is Irish, he is first generation Ireland, he was born and raised in Ireland.

Secondly he wasn’t elected as Taoiseach, I’d just like to correct all of the articles that say different. Enda Kenny resigned which meant the leader in our majority party became Taoiseach. He was elected by his party not democratically by the people. Every article that didn’t clarify that is wrong.

It’s interesting to note that his competition, Simon Coveny, who got the majority of votes from the grass roots and Leo got the majority of the votes from the politicians themselves. Politicians votes are worth two thirds of the vote leaving the grass root votes to only count for one third. So he ended up winning and I think it’s very telling that the Politicians voted for him and the grass roots didn’t. The politicians seem to have a bit of a double win on their hands now not only is Leo absolutely playing by their rules to the letter of the fucking law BUT he is gay so they can trot him out anytime somebody says they aren’t progressive.

So let me list in no particular order why Varadkar is an imposter (or more to the point, why he’s not progressive or he’s not a progressive choice for Taoiseach)

In 2010 Varadkar was accused of sexism, this is one of the reasons I feel he is anti woman. He was accused of Sexism and said ‘If anything, I went easier on Mary Coughlan because she is a woman’ yep. Because that’s what sexism is, when you don’t go easy enough of somebody. *eye roll*

In 2016 while Varadkar was health minister he claimed to not understand the question when asked if abortion was a class issue and he dismissed the question. So in Ireland, if you can afford to fly to England and have an abortion, good for you, you abort that baby, but if you are too poor to do that tough shit, you’re having it. It’s interesting to note, he is the son of an immigrant which is being touted as 'amazing progressive’ but he was born and bred in North Dublin, he comes from an affluent family, he was privately educated in secondary school and then studied law in TCD briefly before switching to Medicine and qualifying as a general practitioner in 2010. He has never been poor, he is very upper middle class at the very lowest so I think touting him as the son of an immigrant like 'oh my god, this is amazing’ is a bit deceptive because Leo definitely grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth. One, a lot of the rest of us. Didn’t. And one, a lot of the women who can’t get an abortion, didn’t either.

Last month, Varadkar was asked about gender equality and responded that he would be 'fair to men’ and promised that they wouldn’t be 'marginalised’ because that is the aim of feminist around the world??? it’s not about equal rights for both sexes (which is the literal definition) but it’s about marginalising the men. Thank god they have Leo here to protect them.

Then we introduced civil partnerships in 2010 which he was against, and he was not against it for the same reasons I, or thousands of other people were against civil partnerships for reasons like there are 160 differences between that and legal marriage, which is completely unfair and not equal at all but he was against it because in his own words, speaking in the Dáil in 2009 against the civil partnership campaign he said that 'two men cannot have a child, two women cannot have a child, a child has the right to a mother and father and whenever possible the state should try vindicate that right and the right of a child to have a mother and father was much more important than two men or two women having a family’ or in other words, Leo Varadkar is a member of 'Mother and Fathers matter’ or he might as well be.

So our first openly gay Taoiseach has debated in our government against giving gay people equal rights, both the rights to adopt and the rights to a civil partnership and then he the audacity to wear a rainbow flag on the day of the marriage equality vote like he hasn’t done either of those things.

Then in 2010 Leo opened his big mouth again and said 'it’s very clear in our constitution that it’s a man marrying a woman largely with the view of having a natural family and if they are unable to do so they are obviously able to adopt and I would be of the view it doesn’t have to be for everybody but the preferable construct in a society, is the traditional family and the state through our laws should protect and promote that’ so not progressive.. at all. I understand he made these comments before he officially came out, but I don’t think it’s good enough that he never apologised for them. I understand that there are factors that play that maybe he was trying to fit in to and he was worried that somebody was going to find out that he was gay and I understand that and I have to make allowances for that but he has never publicly apologised for speaking out against the rights of the the very section of society he identifies with.

Recently in Ireland we had a citizens assembly to discuss the issue that is the eight amendment of red constitution. They voted overwhelmingly to replace the amendment and recommended with over sixty percent of the vote that Irish women should be allowed safe and legal access to abortion up to 22 weeks with no requirement to give a reason and that it should be sent forward to the Oireachtas.

Varadkar then came out and said he wanted Fine Gael to be a 'warm house’ for those who had conservative views on abortion. Our abortion situation at the moment is actually going against the U.N. court of human rights. His competitor Simon Coveny is arguably worse coming out and saying he is 'uncomfortable with women having bodily autonomy’ and Michael Martin took the biscuit by saying women should not be able to have an abortion because it’s not the babies fault. So Varadkar is not the worst here but he isn’t the progressive liberal he’s painted out to be either.

As minister for health in January 2015 Varadkar said he was pro life and said 'I understand the the unborn is a human with rights and that I do not adhere to abortion on request or in demand. I also stated and truly believe that this is a situation where there are few certainties and that family and doctors having to make extremely difficulty ethical and clinical decisions. Which is true. Like I’m 2014 where a pregnant teenage from the country side became suicidal when she realised she was pregnant and she wanted an abortion so she was told she would be given one and instead she was locked up in psychiatric care and kept there for the duration of her pregnancy. How long was she in there? Did she miss the window? Nobody knows because nobody fucking cares about woman in this country.

Varadkar in my opinion is a classist elitist who led his campaign for leadership on an anti welfare campaign and that infuriates me, he claims that his figures for welfare fraud last year were were eleven times higher than the official department figures. So it was actually eleven times more of an issue than it was actually made out to be. The official figures from the department were one. ONE. One convicted case of welfare fraud. There were ten more cases that were dropped because there wasn’t enough evidence. Varadkar figures included the ten cases that were dropped because they hadn’t enough evidence. He said things like 'only those zoo contribute to the system will benefit’ but never clarified what his idea of a contribution was so that’s quite problematic and concerning in my opinion. He also proposed to publish names of convicted welfare cheats on the internet. That’s right, the new 'progressive’ Taoiseach ran on a campaign that promised to doc people, so people who have already been convicted, who served their time or done their community service or even who have been through the justice system and had justice served. He wants to docs them. Of course everybody in FG thought this was a wonderful idea. Although he mad his whole campaign about FG calling them the 'party of people who get up early in the mornings’ Do you know who doesn’t get up early in the morning? Those who work nights, those who work shifts, those who can’t. It’s an ableist classist approach that also manages to leave out hard working people like doctors for example unemployment was at 14% its lowest under his party Fine Gael so if that were to happen again I wouldn’t expect there to be a net there to catch you. As an antidote Varadkar was quoted a few years ago saying 'Tiny Tim from the Christmas Carol should get a job’ I just hope he didn’t watch the film and the comment was coming from a complete lack of preparedness and a complete lack of research because if not he’d be insinuating a severely disable character in a children’s Christmas film should 'get a job’

In 2011 he ran a campaign as minister for social protection called 'Welfare Cheats us all’ that cost 200k to bring eleven people to court and only convicted one. If that ONE person who cheated welfare on €188 a week had to cover the cost of Varadkars campaign they would have had to claim social welfare for 22 years. Interesting Apple can get away with billions of euro in tax but ONE person cheats the welfare and the whole system has to be done away with?

As minister for health he presided over the worst A+E crisis the country has ever seen. Although in fairness, Simon Coveny who is minister for housing has presided over the worst housing crisis in the history of the country so it needs to be made clear is competition was arguably no better.

Just to add more petrol to the fire he also wants to ban strikes in the public sector. It is the fundamental right of a worker to strike to better their situation.

But sure I suppose he’s better than Enda?

[unknownentry404]

I’m literally living in the UK now cause I know how bad the housing crisis STILL is. In 2008 the world went into a recession and Ireland went into a Double Recession. And it’s still never recovered.

I didn’t go to Trinity College (above) but I did visit their library during my university degree days, through Dublin library sharing deals, when they had a book that my uni library didn’t. And it was great, and amazing in the library but outside it’s like a tourist trap- This is a collage! THE university of Ireland! A place of learning! Like any historical site, having special tours now and again in the off season, might not be unreasonable, but the sheer influx and over saturation of tourists is insane!!

There is not stopping them from entering the grounds whenever they like! There is no decorum!

The entitlement some people feel is ridiculous. Do tourists just walk around Princeton? To the point where you see tourists more than students??? This is our most prestigious college, kindly, fuck off.

Not to even mention that I believe tickets are only like under €10 or sumn, and you only get to see one page as it’s behind a glass cabinet and only gets turned every now and again. But then, I’ve never seen it so don’t know. And I’m an Irish man who went to secondary school in Kells too and even studied the Book of Kells for my Art History exam back in the day.

It should honestly be free to see, in like a heritage centre somewhere and not in a university. Always dreamed of it returning to Ceanannus Mór. . .

But yeah, the purpose of this protest is obviously to disrupt/stop the main area of tourism in Trinity and send a message to the board. Nothing to do with you. It’s our history too mind, not yours. Kindly check yourself and wander Temple Street or go to the Phoenix Park or sumn. Shoo.

Since I’ve been making posts about American/ British entitlement towards Ireland, I thought I’d talk about this video here.

I am a student at this college. It’s a big tourist attraction for many reasons, but the main one being that the book of Kells is kept here. I am also from Kells itself, but Dublin having the book and not Kells is a whole other issue.

So this protest that’s been happening over the the past few weeks is in response to the college once again raising rents for student accommodation to astronomical rates. That being when rent in Dublin (and Ireland as a whole) is already unliveable. You’d find cheaper rent off student accommodation, but it’s hardly easy to find places like this. As well as this, the majority of the student accommodation isn’t even on campus to begin with. Most are about a 45 minute luas journey away. So what the fuck are you paying for?

This protest is necessary. It’s been a long time coming. Time and time again they prioritise tourists over us. Buildings are old and falling apart, equipment isn’t functional, accessibility is god awful. I know this because I am disabled and use a rollator, but I can’t even use it on campus most days because there’s simply no ramps/ elevators in some buildings.

In one of my lectures last week we were in one of the old buildings. We had a lot of content to cover, but of course the projector wasn’t working. The professor spent fourty minutes trying to get the computer/ projector to work, but to no avail. So we have a whole lecture to catch up on! All of this while I was looking out the window at this atrocity:

A new building for tourists! Yay!

They’ve been building new school buildings for years, but of course instead of finishing them, they’ll spend their time and money on the tourists. I’m not even having an exam in one of my modules because they told the professor that there simply isn’t enough room to host our class for the exam. And it would be “too expensive” to book a venue… it’s only a class of about thirty. He had written a whole exam and we were under the impression we’d have one, but now it’s just continuous assessment I guess!

So you have to understand why we’re not exactly jumping for joy for the tourists. There are hundreds on campus everyday, just generally being annoying and entitled. And yes DISCLAIMER; not all tourists, not all Americans/ British people, blah, blah. But from my experience, you do encounter some obnoxious people everyday.

So that’s why they blocked entrance to the book of Kells. That’s why it’s disgusting for the tourists to be arguing with them and demanding entrance. For once we just want our college to prioritise us! So yeah we will revoke your entitlement, because we are the ones who study here, we are the ones who have to LIVE here.