#THANKS SYD! SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG LMAO

[corduroyserpent]

tianxi first kiss or last kiss your choice 😁🫶

Su Xiyan does not mean to kiss him.

She normally has no trouble restraining her impulses. All brief ripples of desire are forced into stillness by a rational mind and the unswerving awareness that the true incentive for her meetings with Tianlang-jun is not her own amusement.

And yet here she is. 

His lips are softer than hers. He must not worry at them as she often does. Never before having kissed a person, Su Xiyan hasn’t had much occasion to think about what her lips might feel like against another’s. She hopes it isn’t unpleasant. And then she reminds herself that it doesn’t matter. This is nothing more than an assignment from her shizun. Her feelings are of no consequence. 

She can feel Tianlang-jun smile before he sucks her bottom lip between his teeth, deepening the kiss. There’s an enthusiasm to the way he moves against her—one hand cupping her waist, the other at the back of her neck. His fingers tangle in her hair. She doesn’t mind. It’s nice. 

No one has ever touched her like this, held her so close. It might be overwhelming. She will have to assess the matter once distance has been put between them. 

But for now, she allows her hands to wander and gives in to the cresting waves of the desire she is not supposed to have.

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2

♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'

♡ W/C: 6,534

♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024

♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡��𝐜𝐤 𝐨��𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there. 

“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked. 

Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes. 

She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully. 

“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt. 

“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly. 

“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly. 

She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust. 

“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully. 

“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.

He chuckled a bit,  “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.

“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.

Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine. 

“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.

“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused. 

“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door. 

“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked. 

“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras. 

“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.

“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.

“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her. 

“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked. 

“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on. 

“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound. 

“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated. 

Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt. 

“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was. 

“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily. 

“It can’t be that bad” she countered. 

“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit. 

She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight. 

“Told you” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt. 

“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney. 

“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way. 

“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased. 

Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side. 

“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked. 

“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing. 

“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold. 

She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back. 

“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked. 

“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle. 

“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke. 

“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained. 

“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal. 

“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him. 

“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him. 

“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly. 

“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step. 

“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk. 

“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous. 

“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing. 

“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled. 

“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse. 

It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms. 

“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd. 

“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly. 

“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging. 

Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop. 

“Stand.” He told the horse firmly. 

“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life. 

“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade. 

“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously. 

“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach. 

She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too. 

He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now. 

“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail. 

“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased. 

Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here. 

“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point. 

And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life. 

“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully. 

Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“ 

“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit. 

“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked. 

She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned. 

“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins. 

“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready. 

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure. 

“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said. 

“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes. 

“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh

“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted. 

She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more. 

“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm. 

“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter. 

“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased. 

“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said. 

With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going. 

Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats. 

“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding. 

“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter. 

He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop. 

“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor. 

“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again

“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her. 

“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist 

“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”  

She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused. 

“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing. 

“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down. 

She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks. 

“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down. 

“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water. 

“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled. 

“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously. 

“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently. 

“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased. 

He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said. 

“You better have seen a doctor” she said. 

“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said. 

“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too. 

“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious. 

He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel. 

“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open. 

The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.

“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around. 

“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock. 

“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently. 

“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders. 

“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her. 

“And what if it is?” He questioned. 

“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased 

He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap. 

“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk. 

“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased. 

She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek. 

“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him. 

“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans. 

“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut. 

Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally. 

“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push. 

“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them. 

He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.” 

The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked. 

He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’ 

Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane. 

Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like. 

Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!

Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least. 

“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs. 

Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly. 

“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel. 

“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands. 

“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie. 

“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off

“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again. 

“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up. 

“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him. 

“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit. 

“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously. 

“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned. 

“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment. 

“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded. 

“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly. 

Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips. 

“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged. 

Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt. 

“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair. 

“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked. 

Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to. 

“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.

��“Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged. 

Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought-  he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna? 

Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out. 

“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit. 

“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged. 

“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased. 

“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.” 

“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.”  Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.

 He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again. 

“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone. 

“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned. 

Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way. 

The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was, 

Admit how he felt to Sydney. 

Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane. 

“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.

“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window. 

The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd. 

“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session. 

“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot. 

“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up. 

“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit 

“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker. 

“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them. 

“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins. 

Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her. 

Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance. 

“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind.  “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

[prettyinpunk]

tagged by @supersymmetries! ty omg 🥰🥰💖 (sorry it took so long im currently in the middle of finals week 💀)

relationship status: eternal loneliness sjsdkgsd

favorite color: purple <3 but my signature colors are blue and black :^)

song stuck in my head: i was having a real WAFF moment while taking my exam earlier but honestly it was a whole muse medley. it was mercy(show me MEEEERRCYYYY), i belong to you(i can't find the words to say... when IM CONFUSED), interlude(????), thoughts of a dying atheist(IT SCARES THE HELL OUT OF MEEEE) and WAFF. maybe a little panic station mixed in there too. as you can see the exam went really well skgkdjgdsg 💀

last song i listened to: when you were young by the killers, though currently listening to thank you for the venom mcr <3

three favorite foods: gyoza!!!! popcorn :) and umm pie :3

last thing i googled: um. i don't want to think about it 💀 (ochem thing about molecules or something idk its in my past).

dream trip: wow idk theres so many cool places, i've always wanted to go to new zealand tho!! i guess if i could really do whatever i'd visit the top 10 best aquariums in the world :)

anything i want right now: TO PASS MY CLASS PLEASE SAVE ME but um yeah besides that :) the new fall out boy album!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its gonna change my life i need it so badly <3 i really want potstickers now after thinking about it too lmao. i also really want like 5000 albums on vinyl but thats not like a right now kind of thing thats like. a forever kind of thing. anyway!

tagging: @syd-opaque, @mp3pirate, @domwhoreward, @coolkidstable & @thekintsugikid, aka the usual suspects skjgdsdgd love y'all :)))

[peonyblossom]

Hii 🥰

What is something you love about your MC / OC? You can create and share anything you’d like 😍 HC‘s, moodboards, edits or drabbles. Have fun and gush about your MC / OC 🥰

Also what made you create your MC /OC what was your inspiration?

ooh I love this!!

Sadie

I love her outdoorsy-ness! Her hiking hobby/ability is like an idealized version of myself lol. I love hiking, but Sadie is at a much higher level than me, that I'm honestly not sure if I could ever get to, but it's nice to have a character who can even if I can't! Especially because I don't have a lot of people in my life who enjoy hiking as much as I do, so it's like I have this little friend to hike with (even if she, sadly, isn't real).

I created Sadie because I had played Open Heart with a m!mc romancing Ethan and I love it, buuuuuut I really wanted to write some fics where Ethan and MC had kids and that felt out of character for the m!mc I had created, so I figured I'd just make a f!mc for funsies.

Sydney

I love Syd's confidence and comfort in his life! I also just love his life lol. But, seriously, Sydney has so much confidence despite, you know, society. Which is something I try to do as well, and I do, to an extent, but probably not quite as much as Sydney. Again, making my MCs idealized versions of myself lmao.

I created Sydney because... well I don't really know why. Honestly, if OH had the option to have an NB MC, Sydney would probably not exist. At least not in the way he does now. I picked a gender neutral name because I really wanted to have an NB MC but I couldn't.

Jackie

I love how down to earth Jackie is. I find her very relatable in the sense that I am also pursuing a film career (well, once I graduate anyway) and am from the Midwest. Not sure if I'll end up in LA or not yet, but regardless, I love how hardworking Jackie is in pursuing her goals and that is something I hope to do once I graduate! But omg it will not be as easy as going to LA and getting cast in a blockbuster omg. RCD makes that look so easy and I just know it won't be. lol

I created RCD Jackie based on HWU Jackie, who is pretty much a self-insert character. Honestly, a school like HWU was exactly the kind of school I envisioned myself going to when I was in high school and started playing the game. Of course, that's not where I ended up because money, but I'm very happy with where I am. Although, imagine if you could major in fanfiction writing irl. That'd be the dream fr.

Anyways, thank you so much for this ask!! Sorry it took me so long to answer it, but it was a lot of fun!!

[kybee1497]

Hi hi h kiwi, fuck - and I cannot say this strongly enough - this wedding? Pls and Thankies 💜

Hi hi hi meg! Thanks for the ask, sorry it took me so long to answer lmao

Fuck- and I cannot say this strongly enough- this wedding is a jukebox au based on the movie revenge of the bridesmaids. Syd brought the idea up a few weeks ago but ended up not going with it so I yoinked it and switched the plot around to be around jukebox.

So Julie, Carrie and Flynn are childhood best friends who grew up in a small town in the south. Carrie and Flynn moved to Nashville after high school and college to be a songwriter (?) and music agent respectively. They come home for a family thing and run into the fourth member of their little friend group. (Maybe it’s Kayla? Or an oc because I like Kayla. Well just call her bitchy friend for now.) anyways bitchy friend announces that she’s engaged!! 🙄

Plot twist: bitchy friends fiancé is Luke. Luke who julie has been dating for two years. Luke who julie is head over heels in love with. Luke who still loves julie and is only marrying bitchy friend because they live in a small ass town that’s still stuck in the 40s and bitchy friend is pregnant and it’s Luke’s (or she claims it’s Luke’s) because Luke and Julie got in a fight one night, a fight over something stupid that blew up into epic proporations. They break up and Luke takes off, gets wasted at the bar and bitchy friend shows up and takes him home to “sleep it off”

A few months later and bitchy friend is pregnant and they’re engaged by the end of the week. Bitchy friend is bitchy and asks julie to be a bridesmaid and Julie says yes because she’s southern, and Julie.

So flynn and Carrie conspire to become bridesmaids and fuck up the wedding so that Julie and Luke can be together. The plan stalls out when they find out about the baby... or does it?

There will be pranks and shenanigans and jukebox being jukebox while flynn and Carrie delight in raining hell down on bitchy friend and her bitchy mother. I’m very excited I just have... so... many... wips rn

[iggy-theeskimo]

Thanks for the tag sweetie @he4rtofsteel💖✨

1. What are you wearing? Jeans that look like grandpa's jeans, a colorful crop top with a lilac knit sweater.

2. Ever been in love? Of course, Grace Slick, Brian Jones, David Gilmour, Syd Barrett, Nick Mason, David Bowie.

3. Ever had a terrible breakup? Yup.

4. How tall are you? 1,60cm (I don't know how much it would be in feet and inches, sorry)

5. How much do you weigh? Around 56kg.

6. Any tattoos you want? I would like it but I would have to think of a tattoo that I want too much, because I am very indecisive and it may be that after a while that tattoo does not mean anything to me, but I would like to tattoo an octopus on my left arm (like John Frusciante's, don't ask why).

7. Any piercings you want? For now, nah. Not my favorite thing.

8. OTP? A what? I'm🤡

9. Favourite show(s)? I don't watch a lot TV but I like That 70's Show, Seindfeld, The Office, Game of Thrones and a lot of varied documentaries.

10. Favourite band? My favorite bands always vary actually, but the one that I consider my favorite forever is Pink Floyd (I think it was obvious)

11. Something you miss? I miss being able to go to the outskirts of the city for a while, being among the mountains and putting my feet in the river, I hope I can do it again soon.

12. Favourite song(s)? Well, there are many but the ones I have been listening to often for now are: Wild World by Cat Stevens, My Sweet Lord by George Harrison, Always See Your Face by Love, See-Saw by Pink Floyd and I'd Rather Go Blind by Etta James.

13. How old are you? I turn 16 in a few days :)

14. Zodiac Sign? Virgo like Freddy Mercury and Roger Waters.

15. Hair Colour? Dark blonde but not so dark

16. Favourite Quote? Many. “Solo en sueños, en la poesía, en el juego —encender una vela, andar con ella por el corredor— nos asomamos a veces a lo que fuimos antes de ser esto que vaya a saber si somos” by Julio Cortázar in his book Rayuela. ("Only in dreams, in poetry, in games - lighting a candle, walking with it down the corridor - do we sometimes peek into what we were before being this, who will know if we are").

17. Favourite singer? Janis Joplin, Freddy Mercury, David Gilmour, Robert Plant, Judy Garland, Florence Welch, Joan Baez and surely I forget many.

18. Favourite colour(s)? Brown, dark green, yellow, gold, purple and silver.

19. Loud music or soft music? Both actually, quiet music low and hard music louder.

20. Where do you go when you’re sad? I like to be in nature (same as the girl who nominated me)

21. How long does it take you to shower? 30 minutes/one hour lmao, I like to take a relaxing bath but it depends on how long I have.

22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 20 or 30 minutes.

23. Ever been in a physical fight? Nope, I'm pretty calm. In 2018 a classmate wanted to hit me after school for being a weirdo but I was able to stop the fight in time, something bad would have happened to me because I can't hit anyone ;)

24. Turn on(s)? Effective communicator, being kind to others, helping others, respectful towards others, someone who doesn’t like conflict and prefers peace, compassion, good sense of humour, groovy sense of style, good taste in music, non-verbal communication, respecting my need for space and respecting that I value my personal freedom, open minded but has their own opinions, willing to enlighten me, being able to let go and be free with me, piercing eyes, nice smile, being able to understand me (same as the girl who nominated me again)

25. Turn off(s)? Manipulation or toxic actions, being disrespectful, inappropriate jokes, believing that you are better than everyone, not being grateful, not respecting my personal space and personal things, etc, etc.

26. The reason I joined Tumblr? I wanted to get into a place where I can share my nonsense and taste, share ideas and jokes in a non-toxic place like Twitter. Luckily the people I have talked here are nice and the pink floyd community and other bands are pretty good💖✨.

27. Fears? Many people are afraid of the death of oneself but I am more afraid of the death of my loved ones, the ocean gives me a lot of panic (although I would love to dive) and I am afraid of being standing next to a statue or something carved with shape that is bigger than me, like the cat litter statues in Egyptian.

28. Last thing that made you cry? The movie about Judy Garland, gosh💔.

29. Last time you cried? Last night.

30. Meaning behind your URL? Iggy the Eskimo is the nickname of the naked girl who is in some photos of Syd Barrett's The Madcap Laughs, and I love her so much (not much of a story behind my URL really).

31. Last book you read? Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, very good.

32. Last song you listened to? Green is the Colour by Pink Floyd.

33. Last show you watched? The Office.

34. Last person you talked to? My grandma or my boyfriend, I don't remember.

35. The relationship between you and the person you last texted? They are my grandmother and my boyfriend, I mean ?

36. Favorite food? Pasta :) if you want my heart just give me pasta. And I'm trying to start being a vegetarian.

37. Place you want to visit? I want to travel all the world really, but Greece, London, Scotland, India and Nordic countries are my fav.

38. Last place you were? The last place where I traveled? To Bariloche, south of Argentina in January of this year :)

39. Do you have a crush? Yup.

40. Last time you kissed someone? Some days ago i guess.

41. Last time you were insulted and what was it? It's weird that people insult me because I don't usually do bad things and mostly when I'm surrounded by people they rarely notice me, so I really don't remember when they last insulted me.

42. What color underwear are you wearing? Calm down honey

43. What colour shirt are you wearing? Multicolour, are these t-shirts that are dyed.

44. What colour bottoms are you wearing? Dark blue jeans.

45. Wearing any bracelets? Noup, although I usually wear some.

46. Last sport you played? Maybe volleyball in February at school (I probably played bad).

47. Last song you sang? I sing pieces of songs all day so I don't remember which one was the last one.

48. Last prank call you remember doing? Idk, maybe when I was younger and have friends.

49. Last time you hung out with someone? Loooooooooong time ago.

50. Favourite movie(s)? The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep, The Godfather (all), Judy, Rocketman, The Wall and many that I do not remember lol.

This took me a long time so if you read everything thank you💖I'm not sure if the people I'm nominating have already been nominated but

@artsyhippie @divine-and-decaying @whatdyoumean-interesting @herrmiu (only if you want to) and anyone who wants to ✨

[ahsokaofficial]

i was tagged by the super awesome @starllords to answer a few questions! thank youuuu sorry it took me so long🥺

name: sydney but pls call me syd!!

zodiac sign: virgo sun, aries moon, libra rising!

favorite musicians/bands: Ariana Grande, King Princess, H.E.R., Purity Ring, Marian Hill, Halsey, One Direction (and the solo stuff), Little Mix, Troye Sivan, Broods, CHVRCHES, Kehlani, Nicki Minaj, Tinashe, Years & Years, The Weeknd

favorite sports team: DODGERS!! GO BLUE BABEY

other blogs: i'm only using this one rn but i previously had a 1d/multifandom blog for about 6 years rip

do i get asks: not really but i only just made this blog in like feb or march or something so i'm not that mad about it

how many blogs do i follow: about 50 atm! mostly my mutuals

what i'm wearing: pajamas lmao it's 5pm rip

dream vacation: anywhere and everywhere!! i loveeee traveling i grew up taking road trips and my dad's a pilot so i love flying as well. although i do really want to explore europe

dream car: uhhh idk maybe a new honda civic or toyota camry? or a subaru, those are cute. i don't really know or care much about cars as long as i can listen to music/podcasts, has working a/c and will last me a while

favorite food: b r e a d. carbs in general tbh. call me a stereotypical italian but there's a lasagna recipe that's been in my family for generations and it slaps. also pasta. gnocchi and raviolis ughhhhh im hungry thinking about it

drink of choice: if we're talking alcohol, i swear by mai tais, nothing gets me drunk faster they're just yummy. if we're talking regular drinks, mr. pibb/pibb extra is my absolute fav. they don't have it at very many places tho :(

languages: english... pig latin sjfhdjjd

celebrity crush: i have many but tbh i just saw some gifs of chris pine and... whew🥵 also cody bellinger who plays first base for the dodgers... damb

random fact: i'm autistic!!

tagging some friends and new mutuals! @jedirey @harleysquinnzel @deanerys @romaanovas @florenepugh @buckyperalta @panhansolo @kirkmcoy @grayson-dick but feel free to ignore!

[cypher2]

alright alright alright story time. 

I went down to FL for the weekend to hang with @in-solo-we-trust and we drove to orlando for the seattle game. she tried to warn me about the city and stadium and fans, I will admit lmao. but nah dude you gotta witness it in person. 

All I’m gonna say is orlando’s stadium is in the middle of a fucking dump and looks like it was just picked up and placed right in the middle of the most random shittiest piece of land in the city but sadly they purposely built that bitch there thinking it would be appealing. also, seeing the amount of hype and promo they put into making ashlyn one of the faces of the team given her performances that deadass hinder their progress year after year is really actually sad to see. embarrassing. but I will say the stadium and field are nice. seeing kop and lydia in goal made me miss hope and I wanted to die. kop should be the starting keeper dont try to argue it bitch there is no argument. but kop didn’t stop to sign. not a lot of players did, it was so fucking nasty hot and humid out, understandable. and syd’s baby tater tot is super cute. but syd saw seattle gear in the stands and walked the other way down the line lmao. and carson was really sweet, I told her we miss her in Seattle, she smiled and said thank you. I don’t understand how all these players are so photogenic after sweating their asses off in that heat for that long but here we are. beautiful fishes. also orlando fans are exactly like I thought they’d be lmao. but I will say it was a decent size crowd and though annoying they were loud and it’s obvious ppl there really support their team and players so that’s important. except 3rd string stans. also nwsl officiating is even worse in person than I’d imagined. tragic. enough there. 

most of seattle players dipped after huddling after the game bc they looked beat. the heat really fucking drains you. but we got jess’ attention as she was walking off and I waved my tiny dragon jersey. she came over like the bad ass she is. shirt up slightly to wipe her face thank you @god. she looked so over the heat but she was nice and signed and spoke briefly. she’s bigger than I thought in person and I want her to choke me w her nice tatted arms thanks. she signed for alexis and me then we got a selfie and she left. tiny dragon of my heart forever. I brought my naho 36 jersey too and she saw it and came over smiling big. my sun and stars. she was so cute she asked me where she should sign and if I wanted her to write a 9 or 36. delicate assassin, I stan forever. rumi smiled and waved a little to ppl but she was limping a lil bit and looked in pain :( and bev was barely walking on her own and crying as she was helped off the field at halftime. but she saw us and smiled through it and looked happy to see seattle fans right there. then after the game betos gave her a piggyback to the tunnel and she saw us again and waved and said sorry as she was going bc she’s a gigantic sweetheart who is genuinely concerned she did not get to stop and talk to/sign for ppl and I’ll fucking fight you on this. I didn’t actually meet her but I can tell she’s the sweetest one on the team from the way she was that’s all. luuuu came over to this girl next to us and talked forever and a fucking day. then syd came over w baby tater tot and they all chatted for awhile. syd’s baby emanates the biggest mood faces ever. alexis has the picture that proves it. lu is so fucking pretty hello. glowing skin whats your technique. and she’s really relaxed and sweet too. took time to talk and asked if alexis was from seattle bc she had an old school program. nice laugh, gracious. 

the highlighter kits really do blind your fucking eyes out and they really do have a curse. but I called a tie. we always tie those hoes. and apparently I have reversed alexis’ bathroom curse. ugh my presence. I made the mistake of sticking my hand out when taylor was jogging by like she does with all her missed goal scoring opportunities and I touched her hand. my bad. I don’t want these vibes. yeah she scored for us blah blah, jess should’ve blasted that one shot she had. one day I will witness a tiny dragon goal and I will be compete once again. queen of assists naho came through so can’t complain. when seattle scored we jumped up and alexis shoved me and made me spill my beer. pissed of orlando fans everywhere. that’s a mood. some good saves from both posts. assistant ref runs a lot. tall beautiful gazelle. front row seats are what’s up. but florida weather is literally satan’s sauna all the time. I’m still recovering from an internal heat stroke. anyways I’m so happy I got to see the goobers play in person and I got to hang with the chillest beach bum all weekend. 

[got7doubleb]

kaysie’s second follow forever / mutual appreciation

i hit two big milestones recently and the growth of this blog is still mind boggling to me. It’s been a year and a half? now since this blog has came to be and it’s come a long way. The friends ive gotten thru this blog still make me emo bc omg who wouldve thought ppl would wanna be my fren sldfjdlskfjsldkfj

but anyway; i’ve sorted out my fav blogs and lovely mutuals into two sections, which is got7 and nongot7. bare in mind i’m putting a loose label for the blog but everyone posts a lot of things. also please tell me if we are mutuals and i didn’t include you. tumblr is confusing

key - favs |  ily | ilysfdm | 💝 scroll down for your letter 

(almost) only got7 content

@jinandtuanic | @strxctlygotseven | @wildcat-jinyoung | @cutepimook | @floaty-glasses | @the-princejinyoung | @danhoe-mark |  💝  @lemon-amethyst | @ranqueenie | @magiccastles | @junievre-gotchu | @amerithotkongs |  @yugyinplaid |  💝  @m-yien | @j1ny0ung | @jbmygoodboy | @loveisyugyeom | @twojproject | @jinyoungs-hipsdontlie | @jaedaddy | @cyjsgirl | @flawless-7 | @paradisejaebum |@jinyoung-ssi | @gyeomd | @whaaaalep ! @tuanever​ |  @7uv​​

@tuangel | @sarahgase | @pjy  | @gyeom7 | @akasalty | @ehgase | @husbandsjjp | @mark-i-pooh | @okjb  | @park-markjin | @cocoyah | @silent-fangirl | @sugarplumjae | @imjaebeomtrash | @parkjinyoungsbooty | @sky-way | @peachandmark | @yugbamprompt | @wangraps | @doublebam1a | @biasjacksonwang | @wangamama | @ungiis |  💝  @cuddletuan

@cchoiyoungjae | @leaderbum | @ahgamark | @bamslegs | @kimyugy | @signjaes | @angeljaebum | @kissmyars | @underratedbambam | @noirahgase | @wangjsn | @pastelbam |  💝  @got7-markjinson | @ramenjae | @melaninbam | @mooncyj | @jajajaebum | @mochimork | @bambamedaf | @iheartyugyeom | @blndjcksn | @jacksonwangblog | @mart-art | @nyeongwi

@jinyoungslover | @teenagermp3 @teenymark | @bamsonnie | @tuanisanangel | @saltygot7 | @wanderingingot7wonderland | @artuan | @cyjarsvita | @lomlmark | @jeh-beom |  @markeu-poo | @97youngnrich | 💝  @katbeom | @jj-prxject | @stellarcollision-arsvita | @shelovesjinyoung | @honeybambam | @aomgot7 |  💝  @peachypinkjackson | @icarusjjp | @youngjaesloudlaugh | @makeu-ssi | @youre-my-uranus | @markiepoohismysunshine | @darlingjbum | @defbald | @cuddly2jae | @hoodiejaebum | @real-got7mark​ | @babyboychoi​

AHGABLOGS THAT MAKE ME AHGAHAPPY (blogs that arent necessarily mutuals but imma mention you anyway)

fanart blogs - @m-melted | @ask7dorks | @yinglalada | @koyangii-art | @ask-got7-yugbamjae | @sabyarts | @askpepi-jy |  💝  @sevencolourseason | @white-alien-with-a-rose​ | @chibicookie | 

misc blogs -@got7fakesubs | @incorrectgot7quotes​ | @got7ficrec | @got7rarepair | @ahgahappy | @ahgapositive | @secretahgase | @gotstyle | @markjinficfest | @lowqgot7 | @got7-memes | @marktuanjournal | @got7fakequotes | @lq-got7 |

member/ship centric blogs -  💝  @bamspeach |  💝  @redgyeomie | 💝 @demongyeom | @onlymarkjin | @markjinology | @kissbbom | @imarkson |  @yugyeompire | @yourmajestyqueenchelseachels | @choiyoungjae | @jinyoungied | @2jaekisses | @pepilovesgyeom

content creators (gifs/gfx) - @umma-jy | @jinyoungot7 | @tuanpumpkins | @jack777 | @editsgot7 | @holyfuckmark | @got7europe | @gotchicken​ | @got7ish | @got7gifs | @got7official | @defwang | @defsouldanik | @jwxngs | @got7-out | @markticseas | @jackseunie | @ahgasedits | @little-jyp | @astrayjinyoung | @jingogi | @shiningmark | @jbssi |  💝  @nyeongificent | @pinkhoodiemark​ |  💝  @marksseunie | @gsvnrewind |  💝 @morkjin​ | 💝 @mochabam | @1kayee |  💝  @bamethyst​

fy blogs/networks - @fybam | @got7-updates | @fynyeong | @19970502 | @19940106 | @fyars | @fuckyeahchoiyoungjae |

networks - @bambamnetwork | @got7creators | @7ornevernet | @ahgasenet | @got7maknaelinenetwork | @nyeongnet | @got7jinyoungnet 

multifandoms

@imeightout​ | @yubgam​ | @kwon-yulra​ | @wlwobama​ | @yoonwang​ | @yeoseong​ | @amerikaikong​ |@jyum​ | @god10tion​ | @elizabethgracew​ | @leedongshae​ |   @artificialskyway​ | @seungriholic​ | @hobsbf​ | @honeyjoonn​ |  💝  @ljhsgf​ | @knockknocksoosthere​ | @lovebtob​ | @jaehxlic​ | @clairtea​ | @hypetae​ | @softtaemins​ | @flowrcafe​ | @guksuu​ | @whaaattheflower​ |  💝  @imjadebeom​

@sunbeamjinhappybirthday​ |  💝  @sparklybammie​ | @kpopfanfictrash​ | @bangtanhoseok​ | @adoresoo​ | @dimpledjaehyun​ | @blndrgn​ | @kkangdaniel​ | @jongbeer​ | @evkabibi​ | @chanisblackgf​ | 💝 @straybams​ | @babybyuny​ | @flymansae​ | @kvths​ | @withnosuchgrace​ | @gotday6​ | @confessed-nafsiya​ 

girl group favs - @withfx​ | @periwin5les​ | @wheeinyoo​ |   @bubblejoy​ |

💝 letters for my precious

@sevencolourseason​ - The angel in the holy trinity. The original momTM and the bambam to the ultimate trio jinbamgyeom. Thank you for being amazing and nothing but nice to me (and laura since yknow, same person). i don’t know what ive done in my past life to be blessed with crossing paths with you but i’ll do it all over again <3

@redgyeomie​ - THE YUGYEOM TO MY 97 YOUNG AND RICH LINE. KATY i cant even start to form words without slfjsdlfkjdskjfh. thank you for being there when I need someone to talk to and knowing the exact words to bury me in my grave. your love for yugyeom always makes tumblr a better place to be in. thank you for sticking around with me even tho im undeserving 💝

@demongyeom​ - we don’t talk as much as i would like but just seeing you on my dash always always brightens my day! i hope we talk more in the future!  💝

@nyeongificent​ - hello gabby! i love your blog and you’ve been nothing but a star ! i hope we become better friends in the future! thank you for that time you were my secret ahgase!  💝

@marksseunie​ - C A M ! we’ve become mutuals on tumblr (and i guess twitter too) for quite a bit now! thank you for sticking around despite my horrible excuse of a blog and creating that A+ got7 content! you’re a star  💝

@morkjin​ - omg ron.... it took me so long to look for you. i was half panicking. but i love this markjin trash url. it suits you and im lowkey jealous. lol. thank you for being a good friend (yes i think we’re friends, we are arent we, we also are the same age so like chingu? lmao) and for blessing us with your blog  💝

@mochabam​ - omg where do i even start with this JEM !!!! bambam’s softest (softy-est soft) gf. I stand by my word im still jealous about how cute your urls are and also of how cute you are esp when it comes to bambam. bambam doesnt even deserve you (you are too good for him!). thank you for your soft edits it’s soft bambam hours whenever u post them  💝  

@lemon-amethyst​ - hello  💝 we haven’t talked for quite a long time but you’re still precious to me! thank you for sticking around and blessing us with your presence <3

@m-yien​ - Rey! i feel like you are one of the first mutuals i have when i first started this blog. it’s been a long time since then but you’re still here and i’m still here! thank you for sticking around and being so sweet! it means a lot to me  💝

@cuddletuan​ - where do i even begin this jeng? thank you for supporting me in the things i do and being a literal angel. i don’t know what i’ve done in this life that was so good that i deserved to cross paths with you. thank you thank you! i love you i hope your healthy and happy  💝

@got7-markjinson​ - Nelyn  💝 !  we don’t speak to each other nearly as enough as we should but im so glad our paths crossed. I love seeing you on my dash and in the network chats (even tho im like come and go like a ghost lol). Thank you for being so nice to me! i hope you have a good day everyday <3 

@katbeom​ - KAT  💝 hello! i cant even remember when we became mutuals but i know we shared a lot of funny interactions which are still very precious to me. thank you for sticking around my trash blog. You are a star ! take care of yourself <3 

@sparklybammie - Jinju! the literal angel. thank you for always messaging me it always brightens my day. you are literally the nicest person and im so glad we have become friends. i hope your healthy and always take care of your health <3

@peachypinkjackson​ - so before making this i realized that you were number 3 in my tumblr crush list and we have never? actually talked to each other and i was like omg this is a sign that we should be friends. that must be it. (im delirious i know). but anyway, thank you for your quality blog which i cant resist to reblog from! i hope you get to talk more in the future <3

@ljhsgf​ - FEL hello ! ever since the start of got7maknaelinetwork i feel like we have been close.  thank you for sticking around with the mess that is my blog! i treasure all our interactions and hope we become closer in the future! take care of yourself <3

@imjadebeom​ - syd! the got7 tumblr community owes you so much for all you manage! thank you for lending your support on the projects i do and just being a real nice friend. you’re a treasure yknow that! take care of yourself <3

@bamethyst​ - noora, you sweet muchkin !!!!! your creativity in creating content never ceases to amaze me. thank you for the support you lent in creating bamloween. it means so much to me. You are a star <3

@straybams​ -  hui !!!!!! how do i begin to express the adoration i have for the support you have for bambamnetwork. i dont even know where to start. just like thank you i love you. please take care of yourslef i hope your happy wherever you are and want to be! 

@bamspeach​ - ugh this is going to take forever for me to write this letter. ive been agonizing how to put into words how much you mean to me and i cant even because its all just like soieyrfsijdfhksjdf in my head. thank you for putting up with my rants, no matter how ludicrous or frantic or dramatic they all are. im sorry i laugh at almost anything and probably frustrate you to no end with my ways of teasing (i am after all yugyeom in this jingyeom dynamic) but i guess you know by now that it’s all just how i express my fondness. im shit i know. did i start this blog thinking i would find a precious friend like you? no. but i did anyway and im eternally grateful for our inside jokes and sudden bouts of deep conversations. i must have save the world in my past life to able to share not only my ahgafeels but every other stupid part of my horrid life with you. i mean really how do i even function without the jinyoung to my yugyeom. u really deserve everything in this world and more. ugh now its soft lausie hours. i might as well write a 1k word essay at this point. i love you. thank you. stop crying.

[murasakiyuzu]

43 + a ship of your choice!

is it

is it still a drabble if its 1k? sweats

i guess i should practice drabbles a bit more lmao………

but this rly helped me get my Writing juices running again, so thank u for sending me a prompt, @satyr-syd! i hope ull like this silly thing, i rly admire u and ur writing

edit: read on AO3 here!

Oikawascurries into Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s shared apartment, banging the door shutand pressing his back against the reassuring solidity of wood. His chest isheaving and his hair… is as perfect as ever, somehow. Yet, out of habit,Oikawa raises a hand to fiddle with his bangs.

In theliving room couch facing the door, Hanamaki and Matsukawa turn their heads toregard him with twin aloofness. Hanamaki is lying on the couch with his headpillowed on Matsukawa’s lap, while his boyfriend is holding a bunch of grapesin one hand and seemingly using his other one to pop one purple pearl at a timeinto his beloved’s waiting mouth.

Oikawaspares one thought to how ridiculous his best friends are before he letshimself slide down against the door and sits on the floor.

After aminute of silent observation, Hanamaki and Matsukawa resume their earlieractivities.

“Aren’tyou going to ask me why I’m here?!” Oikawa protests while Hanamaki blissfullychews on a grape.

“Thisgirl on TV said it’s best to not pressure your friends into telling you theirproblems and just wait for them to come forward on their own,” Matsukawatells him lightly, pushing a grape between his own lips.

Oikawaopens his mouth and grapples for a retort, but ultimately groans infrustration.

Hanamakiglances at him with a smirk. “What’s your problem today, pretty boy?”

The airaround Oikawa seems to brighten up; whether it’s because he’s finally receivingthe attention he wants or because he’s been called pretty, it’s hard to tell.Perhaps it’s both.

“Youknow about Iwaizumi Hajime, right?”

Matsukawablinks. “The Iwaizumi Hajime in the same year and major as me? The guy yousaw talking to me on my way out of Art History class and proceeded to shamelesslyintroduce yourself to and spent three entire days telling me he’s been sculptedby the gods? That IwaizumiHajime?”

Oikawafrowns, but there are splotches of red and pink across his cheeks. “Yeah,that one.”

Matsukawaleans back on the couch with a satisfied little grin. “What abouthim?”

“Well…”Oikawa wrings his hands in a rare show of awkwardness. He usually plows througheven the most embarrassing of stories with a devil-may-care smile, so Matsukawaand Hanamaki’s joint interest is obviously piqued.

“Weeeeell…?” the two echo him inteasing coos. Oikawa glares at them and breathes deeply.

“We’vebeen hitting it off pretty well since we met. I may look like an asshole when Isay this, but I didn’t expect him to be so thoughtful when he’s all big andmacho and… has beautiful tan skin and gorgeous arms and-”

“Focus,lover boy,” Hanamaki sing-songs.

Oikawapouts, but gets back on track. “Anyway, I haven’t had the best of luck inguys-”

“Becauseyou keep picking pushy ones,” Matsukawa interjects.

“Letme finish!” Oikawa shrieks, offended. “As I was saying, even though all the boys I’ve dated were gorgeous,things never seem to work out. We were on different wavelengths.

“Ithought Iwa-chan would be just like that and I decided to try harder to make itwork this time. But he’s completely different from everyone else! We had a few datesand he’s been really respectful of boundaries without my needing to tell himanything; he didn’t even force a kiss on me right on the first date!”

Hanamaki staresat him, long-suffering. “Did you come here just to sing Iwaizumi’s praisesinto the next century? We get it, you’re dating a literal prince.”

Matsukawa wordlesslyslides another grape into Hanamaki’s mouth, and he reaches a hand to Matsukawa’scheek, giving him a smitten smile. Before Hanamaki can tack on a “you’renot the only one” or something equally sappy, Oikawa continues with hisstory.

“I’llget to the point if you stopinterrupting, damn it. Anyway, in our last date, I told him I’m gray-ace. Ithought… he needed to know there’s a possibility I’ll never feel like havingsex with him, and he took it really, really well. He told me he’s dated ace peoplebefore, which explained why it’s been so easy with him.”

“Doyou want to marry him?” Matsukawa asks with a knowing smirk.

“Iwant to marry him!” Oikawa answers with a groan, burying his face in hishands.

“Then,why are you here now and not getting a dog with him or something?”

Oikawasighs and looks up at them once more. “We were hanging out in my apartmenttoday and watching a volleyball match on TV, and we started… making out alittle bit halfway through. We got into the subject of sex, but we were kind ofjust joking around… and I… may have said we should get neon condoms andsimulate a lightsaber duel…”

“YOUDID WHAT?!” Hanamaki screeches and springs up in the couch, very nearlyknocking his forehead against Matsukawa’s.

“I WASJUST JOKING, OF COURSE I WOULDN’T-”

Hanamaki isdoubling over in scandalous laughter while Matsukawa is just giving Oikawa areally puzzled look.

“Ican’t believe it… You said that… Oh my God, what would your fangirls say…The cool and smooth Oikawa-san…” Hanamaki wheezes. Matsukawa brushes apacifying hand against his boyfriend’s back when he starts coughing.

“Idon’t think that’s a reason to come here running,” Matsukawa says with a thickbrow raised.

“It istoo!” Oikawa cries out. “You didn’t see it- He just froze up and gaveme this really horrified look!”

“OIKAWA,YOU PROPOSED TO SWORDFIGHT WITH YOUR DICKS!” Hanamaki positively hollers,and there are tears in his eyes. Matsukawa finally breaks and sputters.

Oikawalooks red as a tomato and ready to flee, and Matsukawa knows the next place he wouldgo to is their university, and that’s one hour away. Better keep him close.

Matsukawabreathes in and puts on his best “voice of reason” face. “Listen,I’m sure you just surprised him. Did you even try to talk to him afterthat?”

“No, Ijust ran here,” Oikawa says meekly and curls in on himself. “What amI gonna do? Iwa-chan was perfect and I ruined everything.”

Matsukawarolls his eyes. “Look, Oikawa, what you need to do now is…”

A ringtone fillsthe air—an overlycheerful pop song that’s Oikawa’s new addiction. Matsukawa snaps his mouth shutas Oikawa tremulously retrieves the phone from his hoodie’s front pocket. He staresdown at the screen, and his panicked gaze tells them enough without words.

“Justtalk to him already,” Hanamaki sighs, peach-pink from his laughing fit.“If he’s that much of a prince, I’m sure you two can move away from thislittle incident.”

Oikawainhales deeply and exhales, nodding resolutely. Hanamaki and Matsukawa watchquietly as Oikawa picks up Iwaizumi’s call.

“Hey,Iwa-chan. Yes, it’s just- I’m really sorry, I said something stupid and freakedyou out. If you can just leave it…” A pause follows as Oikawa listens towhatever Iwaizumi has to say. Hanamaki has to hold in the whim to ask Oikawa toput the call on speaker. “Uh… No, it’s nothing, you should just forgetabout it…” Oikawa frowns at his legs, criss-crossed on the floor. Hesighs. “It’s from Star Wars, Iwa-chan. You know about Star Wars,right?”

Hanamaki issnickering again and Matsukawa has to lightly slap his thigh so he’ll get agrip. Oikawa’s bashfulness turns into shock.

“You’ve never watched Star Wars?! Iwa-chan! Still, most people know about thelightsabers, have you been living under a rock?” Oikawa stops, then gaspsin mock-offense. “You brute! We’re going to watch every one of the movieswhen I get there!”

Iwaizumisays something, and Oikawa is clearly melting with relief in front of his bestfriends. He smiles to himself. “Yeah, I know. Thank you, Iwa-chan.”

Oikawahangs up and drops the hand with the phone, seemingly lost in thought.

“Nowthat that’s taken care of,” Matsukawa says, breaking the silence,“can we commoners get a bit of time for ourselves? There’s some making outin order here as well.”

“Alright,alright,” Oikawa sighs and gets up from the floor. He smiles and opens hismouth to say something, but then halts. “I was going to thank you, but youdidn’t help at all.”

“You’rewelcome!” Hanamaki chirps and entwines his arms around Matsukawa’s neck.“Make us your best men at the wedding, alright?”

Oikawahuffs indignantly and leaves with a carefree wave of his hand. The door clicksshut and Hanamaki plants a kiss on Matsukawa’s cheek.

“Now, wherewere we?”