#THANK U FOR YOUR THOUGHTS!
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if youâre ever in the position to choose between giving up and accepting defeat, and actually trying to fight the ancient unkillable god that is about to peel apart reality like a string cheese, remember this: scientifically speaking, you might as well give it a shot!
1.there were trees at the beginning of the world! there were trees so long ago that they predate bacteria that causes wood to decay. when a tree fell, it would lie there in stasis and there wasnât any way of breaking down wood xylem on a molecular level in that way.
2. it seems obvious to say, but wood eating bacteria are literally incapable of comprehending what theyâre breaking down. Itâs just not information conciously available to a microorganism. they donât know what theyâre deconstructing, where it came from, bacteria have no way to even fathom the existence of a tree as a concept.
3. Regardless of the facts above, the world we live in today is a world where wood inevitably decomposes
it is worth fighting the unkillable god no matter how pointless it seems. it is worth taking the risk even though youre trying to accomplish something impossible. the reality in which you live was also once reality in which trees didnât rot. You live in a reality that allows for existence before the possibility of destruction. you live in a reality where uncomprehending microbes break down matter that is so far beyond the scope of their comprehension that it feels comical to specify something so obvious. you live in a reality that occasionally allows unshakeable physical truths to be altered with no warning.
It is worth fighting the unkillable god because trees are so old they predate the source of their destruction, and it still did not spare them. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because bacteria rots unthinkingly, because there is room in our cosmos for destruction without comprehension on the part of the destroyer. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because now and then reality retracts the promise of immortality without fanfare, and when that happens there is no mercy for the ancient. the unmaking is not softer for the desecrators ignorance. for all things, existence is endless until the exact point where it ends.
so you might as well try to kill the unkillable god. it doesnât seem likely, but at the beginning of the world, trees didnât rot. so you never know! you never know
#bazinga!#Iâve been meaning to add these tags for a minute but it was too funny to keep the original line bazinga tag#if you see this i would appreciate this post not be tagged as wornld building#and if you want to use this concept in your D&D campaign#you donât need to show this post or anything#but if you would please mention after the plot line ends that the original post was written all at once in a pretty desperate state#i thought about ginkgo trees while walking my dog late that night#and when i found myself hopeless and completely alone at midnight#I opened tumblr and talked to myself#and hit post#and went to bed#then it got 2000 notes and i woke up to the realization that the entire time I had said bacteria#when i fully meant fungus#fuck!!!#u donât need to say all that just please include the context that this is a very personal post#thank u!#Iâm not mad itâs not obvious from the post that i was ranting into the void
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okay i have some time to spare, so i'll keep it a little short.
(sidenote: i am still hoping and praying that they go through a name change at some point because i can not keep typing loossemble with a straight face)
this is a longer ep than i expected.
i don't care much for intros that aren't actual songs at all but this one does seem to give me a pretty clear sense of what i'm about to hear so. points for that maybe.
sensitive is nice. i don't have much to say for it. air force is better for me and more loona ish to my untrained non orbit ears but sensitive doesn't stray too far from that loona vibe either i think. good chorus.
real world is a fuckin vibe. colouring is goin to my 2 am playlist. newtopia is kind of a little bop but i think it could have been like. bouncier or something. strawberry soda was fine, not super memorable. day by day is also a nice switchup for the outro but its a bit too ballad ish for my taste. real world is probably my favourite. <- cookie
should i die cookie ..?
i understand the unseriousness of loossemble is not for everybody but i've grown to love it like damn they really are my little loosers.. im glad they stuck with it despite orbit's initial reaction.
you not having "much to say" about sensitive and calling strawberry soda "not super memorable" is probably worst case scenario for me cause those are well. my #1 songs in the whole ep. but THAAAANK YOUUU for the real world appreciation this is what i've been preaching since release day. you nailed it with newtopia too, it was ranked above colouring for me during my first listen but i've changed my ways. day by day is too ballad ish for me as well but still good regardless! real world đđ (<- is my #3)
#THANK U FOR YOUR THOUGHTS!#i can see how air force one feels more âloona ishâ to the average non orbit.. which shouldn't be you but alas..#ask
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#legally I should say DONT DRIVE WITHOUT YOUR LIGHTS ON thank u#comic#original comic#comic art#poem#poetry#original art#writing#original writing#illustration#illustrated story#illustrated poetry#illustrated poem#poetry art#short story#deep thoughts#angsty writing#angsty poetry#web comic#webcomic#ramblings#relatable#thoughtful#amateur poetry#original poetry#prose poem#prose poetry
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why don't you let yourself be gently peeled off the ground and tossed across the back of a horse like a sack of potatoes by the most handsome man in china, then maybe you'll calm down
(+ bonus:)
#xu da#carrying one (1) soggy corpse#general ouyang#hwdtw spoilers#he who drowned the world spoilers#the radiant emperor#i forgot that xu da reties his hands before doing this but it's fine. it's fine sfkfhsf#ouyang: i want to grind zhu into a bloody smear in the dirt until there's nothing left#also ouyang: grinds himself into a bloody smear in the dirt until there's nothing left except Gay Thoughts#this was meant to just be a quick doodle but then i couldn't stop accidentally sort of taking it seriously and now here we are#pov the ruthless general who razed your childhood home (forcing you into a traumatic life of banditry) + almost killed your little brother#is simultaneously just a deranged little guy. and u can pick him up.#blood cw#ALSOâŠ.. thank you for the nice comments on the WIP - they gave me the necessary serotonin to push through đ„șđ#my art
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gmorning Clari!!! đ Iâm not sure youâve done it before, but Iâd loooove to know what type of yanderes youâd classify your genshin faves as đ
ANDYYYY i am so sorry i am responding a few days late to this and thatâs because i accidentally wrote you a whole novel for an answer :) your ask sparked so many thoughts and i just BLAAAH spewed them all over the page (*ïŸÏïŸ) ugh ahahaha ANYWAY oh gosh okay i have so much to say, letâs get into it!!! also apologies for how MASSIVE ajaxâs is waaaah
characters: wriothesley, ajax [childe], kamisato ayato, thoma warnings: 18+ minors do not interact, yandere behaviour (gaslighting, obsessiveness, toxic relationships, delusional thinking, manipulation, over-protectiveness, etc) words: 2.1k
âËâč đ°đ«đąđšđđĄđđŹđ„đđČ
WRIOTHESLEY is the controlling, authoritarian type that feels like a really strict father, all under the guise of âprotecting youâ and âkeeping you safeâ. he veers into delusional territory a little here because he genuinely believes what heâs telling you (and himself) and genuinely believes himself to be doing the right thing. he isnât possessive, he just wants to make sure youâre going out with safe people. he isnât obsessive, he just wants to know where you are at all times in case an emergency strikes and he has to come find you. he isnât overbearing, he just cares and is proactiveâdonât you want him to care? canât you see heâs only this âprotectiveâ because he loves you?Â
he has thoroughly convinced himself that this behaviour has nothing to do with jealousy or a desire to keep you locked up, to keep you 100% certainly safe and his forever, and nothing to do with wanting to exert complete control over you, orchestrating your every decisionâand heâs pretty good at continuously deluding himself into believing it. heâs so good, in fact, and his logic is so sound, that it has YOU wondering if youâre âjust being crazyâ, if youâre overthinking things or reading too much into them. wriothesley has had a lot taken away from him, after all, and he knows exactly how the mind of criminals tickâcan you really blame him for being a bit paranoid? maybe youâre the one whoâs overreacting and being unreasonable. maybe youâre even feeling a little guilty for being so ungratefulâshouldnât you appreciate having someone who loves and cares for you this much to go to such extents? shouldnât you want to relinquish all power to someone you love equally as much? shouldnât you trust him to make only the best, most sound and appropriate decisions for you? you probably should.Â
âËâč đđŁđđ±
AJAX is kind of like, the typical yandere, and he encompasses several âtypesâ, evolving throughout the course of your relationship and shapeshifting into different variants depending on the situation itself. and while the other three men seem normal until youâre in too deep with them, refraining from showing symptoms of yandere-ness until after youâve been with them for an extended period of time and mean a lot to them, ajax is weird from the very beginning.Â
almost immediately you can sense that thereâs something slightly off about him, but you canât put your finger on what it is. itâs so subtle that it doesnât strike you as particularly dangerous, leading you to merely write it off as one of his quirks and nothing more.Â
heâs overbearing right from the start, of course; not necessarily enough to be concerning just yet, but enough for it to be abnormalâunusualâand noticeable (which reminds me of your lil ajax piece!!!). from the instant he sees you, he is irreversibly obsessed with you. you permeate his every waking thought, and eventually begin to leak into his dreams, too, and suddenly he can barely breathe without knowing where you are and what youâre doing, his concentration consumed by you.Â
he begins stalking youââoverseeingâ, he had called itâmaking detailed notes of your favourite locations and your most frequented friends. heâs constantly got an eye on you one way or another, even if he has to employ other people to do it for him, discreetly reporting their findings every few hours. he tells them youâre in dangerâwhich, you are, technicallyâand that you must be observed at all times from afar, silently and stealthily.Â
ajax is patient and he can play the waiting game, carefully devising and then revising his strategy based on your moves. he loves playing predator and prey, gets a thrill from how the hunt unfoldsâmuch like a battle, itâs a story, a rich tapestry you and he are constantly and concurrently creating, together. and that he thinks is so beautiful.
in textbook yandere fashion, once heâs gathered a sufficient amount of intel, he begins âshowing upâ randomly at your usual spots, âbumping into youâ fortuitously. charming and sweet, the only thing thatâs initially unsettling is just how well the two of you get along. ajax is sure not to mimic you too muchâhe doesnât want to be a mirror, after all, and being too similar is far from a good thing (especially when it matches so well it simply canât be coincidental).
wellâthat, and the sharp glint in his eye that flares with something dangerous every time you giggle or gush, every time you fall further for him. and once he has you enchanted, ensnared, youâre trapped for life, tangled up in him so tightly that he might as well have fused to your flesh.Â
ajax likes to tell you it isnât about power and control, but he knows that it is. heâs smart, and heâs self aware, and he doesnât really care if this is âwrongââhe sees it as necessary and he genuinely believes he knows better than you do. he has to take care of you, or else who will? youâre clearly not capable of satisfactorily doing it on your own, so he must (god, how would you manage without him?). even if you oppose him or fight back against him, heâs purely convinced youâre bull-headed and stubborn, snorting at your wanting to be independent when he truly knows youâre too stupid take care of yourself âproperlyâ all on your own.
violence is a mainstay of your relationship, but not towards you; never towards youâmerely towards everyone around you. his jealousy knows no bounds, but you will rarely see it outright. instead, ajax prefers to hone his emotions, to fashion them into a weapon or use them as fuel to thoroughly tear apart anyone who looks your way in a manner he doesnât like. itâs his job as your lover and keeper, isnât it?Â
âËâč đ€đđŠđąđŹđđđš đđČđđđš
AYATO knows what he is, and he doesnât care. why should he, when heâs sure what heâs doing is ultimately correct and heâs used to having everything that he wants, and everything going his way, even if he has to force/manipulate it to? heâs so skilled at that in particularâmanipulating situations and events to procure favourable outcomes for himself. in ayatoâs mind, you should be grateful that he affords you so many freedomsâhe could lock you away in the basement or a padded room, chain you to a bed with no entertainment or stimulation save for the books he has so conscientiously selected for you, and no other human contact aside from himself. but he trusts you, and he doesnât want to go to those measures (though rest assured, he has promised you he will not hesitate to reach such heights if he deems it absolutely necessary, no matter how much he doesnât want to; you staying his comes before his personal preferences and pleasures). as such, he allows you to roam the estate grounds under the watchful eye of his closest confidants and most capable guards (usually thoma, unless he is otherwise occupied and busy); he allows you access to letter writing materials (though they must go through two rounds of supervision and revisions before they are approved; once by thoma, and once by ayato himself); he allows you to go out in public as long as you are with him, etc.Â
despite these apparent freedoms he affords you, he still picks your outfits out for you each day, and he devises a comprehensive meal plan for you each week, and creates schedules and rules he expects you to follow, thoroughly and meticulously to the letter. it is these subtle forms of ownership that he enjoys the most. he doesnât feel the need to shout from the mountaintops, loudly and aggressively, that you are his, because the fact is so obvious, so evident, the second anyone merely glances at you. you walk like him, you talk like him, you sit, stand, and bow like him, just like he trained you to.Â
ayato is also the type of yandere to punish you. he is molding your pretty little mind into exactly what he wants it to be, and that means that undesirable behaviours must be immediately and severely corrected through appropriate punishmentsâyou must learn, or be taught what is right and what is wrong in ayato terms + definitions, so you will refrain from repeating such behaviour in the future. he is truly crafting you into the most perfect, precious, obedient little dollâand having a blast while doing so. itâs his little pet passion project, in a way; something he looks forward to working on when he has a moment of spare time.Â
ayato was sly and clever with the way he initially enticed you, entrapped you, but underneath his cool, precisely chiseled exterior, ayato is selfish, manipulative, and extremely controlling. all decisions are ultimately made by and go through him. he will skillfully and carefully cut you off from all lifelines and communication, rendering you wholly dependent on him, and then will meticulously chip away at your mind until he sculpts it into exactly what he desiresâsomeone who is as obsessed with him as he is with them. he slowly, stealthily, and steadily induces a severe, irreversible case of stockholm syndrome. the damage he does to your mind is permanentâand thatâs exactly his goal. you now live for him. your days are marked by his appearances, his comings and goings, and the only thing you have to look forward to is seeing + spending time with him. you live to please him, live to be with him, and become absorbed by him, so you are merely an extension of him and no longer an individual yourself. everything revolves around ayatoâhe is your entire universe.Â
âËâč đđĄđšđŠđ
THOMA is the most dangerous type of yandere, because thoma is genuine. thomaâs feelings are 100% authenticâand he earnestly intends to bring you no harm whatsoeverâtheyâre just way too intense. he loves you so much that it veers into insanity, and the passion he feels towards you (and towards keeping you safe + claiming you as his) is so fierce that it physically hurts him to experience, chest blistering with scorching adoration and razored affection, something so dense and so all-consuming that thoma wants to claw through his own flesh and pry his ribcage apart spoke by spoke just so he can experience a shred of relief.Â
thoma is, for the most part, an honest guyâstarkly, brashly honest, so honest it shatters his words and gnaws at his voice, leaving it rough and raw, splintered to shards; but you can always trust he says exactly what he means. he severely lacks self awareness, not even realizing that his behaviour is inappropriate and extreme (he just cares about you SO much! it blinds his rationale and erodes his logic, incapacitating his ability to understand that heâs so suffocating it borders on terrifying).Â
but what makes thoma so incredibly perilous is his sincerity. he truly just wants to keep you safe, eyes brimming with tears and voice hitching on barely contained emotion as he thoroughly explains to you his logic for stashing tracking devices in your bags or his reasoning for shattering the kneecaps of the man who made you uncomfortable at work, sentiment thick in his throat, words straining with the weight of his honesty, with the desperation for you to understand, to see it his way. he swears to the high heavens that heâd never hurt a single hair on your pretty, precious little head, and promises that he doesnât want to scare you, but firmly asserts that he will do whatever it takes to keep you safe.Â
and he means it. thoma is, in the most essential sense, your guard dog. heâs so sweet towards you, even submissive at times, always subservient to your every wish and whim, your every demand and desire, but heâll fucking rip anyone within a meter of you to pieces with his teeth and bare hands alone if he feels as though you are being threatened in any wayâand his standards and definition of âthreatenedâ are extreme and absurd, of course, causing him to react in a way that is severely disproportionate to the situation.
it borders on too much all the timeâhe is too obsessive, too protective, too clingy, but heâs also so sweet, so gentle, so incredibly bonafide that you canât help but not be upset with him. he only does what he does because youâre his entire world, right? whatâs so harmful about that?Â
#brilliant question andy thank u so much for asking omfg and apologies again for rambling like a nutso#i also just had to link your lil ajax piece because i genuinely do think it captures and portrays him SO well and so faithfully aaaah#wriothesley x you#ajax x you#childe x you#tartaglia x you#kamisato ayato x you#thoma x you#wriothesley x reader#ajax x reader#childe x reader#tartaglia x reader#kamisato ayato x reader#thoma x reader#tw:yandere#i didnât look up any specific types so i just kinda like ??? explained how i thought they'd be LMAO but apologies if there's like a list u#meant or something!!!#anyway ily i hope you're having a fantastic start to the week <3#always sending health n happiness your way!#sorry for the character tags smack in the middle LMAO#inky.andy#inky.wriothesley#inky.ajax#inky.ayato#inky.thoma#i would've done haitham but tbh i rly don't see him as a yandere#i think he'd just like;;; give up LMAOOOOOO#or be super passive aggressive and mean#clari gets mail
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only human
[ID: Two page comic in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The first page has a black background and the upper half, behind the panels, is splattered with stylized red blood, scattered bullets, and lifeless hands. In the first panel, it focuses on Vash's boots, showing him stepping through the panel and into the bloody scene. The second panel shows his bloody footprints and the third panel shows his face, his down-turned eyes looking downwards. It's a neutral, vague expression with confliction. At the bottom of the page, the back of Wolfwood's head and shoulder is seen, blood dirtying the white color of his shirt and side of his face. Vash's hand reaches out to him from the right side of the page.
The second page shows the entire scene in full, half the page in light and the other in solid black. At the center, Vash leans down onto his knees as he wraps his arms around Wolfwood's shoulders into a hug. Wolfwood's back is turned away from the viewer, his left arm holds onto his bloodied punisher and his right hand sits on his lap. Light casts from the left side of the page, showing the bloodied surrounding, but the held up punisher casts a shadow on the both of them, shielding them from the light. END ID]
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#<-- should i add that to the original post... if it's effective?#anyway this was a direct sequel to the previous post... i had a lot of thoughts when i drew it but my brain is failing me rn#something something about being granted that bit of mundanity and then running into some situation that whiplashes u back into the identity#u were built and trained to be. that at the end of the day its not possible to just be without dirtying your hands again#he's used to it but ww will forever be someone too kind too tender hearted to really be eased out of the cold lifestyle he's forced to live#and i personally dont think trimax vash could look at wolfwood with disdain or disappointment when catching him after the fact#he knows where wolfwood's heart lies he's seen the way wolfwood killed to protect and he thanked him for it too. i think him understanding#ww deeper in that way would just make his heart wretch so all he can offer is a comfort and arms to return to.#to reassure that he can still be loved even with the blood on his hands#i also think i drew an illustration when i first got into trigun depicting this same ish message....#i'm just very particular about this Subject. i need ww to be loved i need him to be reassured even if he'll still refuse to believe he's#worthy of it like AUGHHH. ok.#ruporas art
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Sebastian Stan. in a bathtub, which is all I actually got out of this movie.
#please don't add to gif hunts/claim as your own/edit without permission. thank you!#sebastian stan#sstanedit#sebstanedit#sebastianstanedit#we have always lived in this castle#whalitc#whalitcedit#if thats not the correct edit tag im not changing it#charles blackwood#charlesblackwoodedit#i skipped through this entire film on mute tbh i i have an idea of what the plot could be#but i really do not know anything i dont know if i want to know anything#as a 2010 aiw fan i got jumpscared by c/rispin g/lover#anyways#i do like c/rispins other roles dont get me wrong but when im not expecting him--#anyways.#more important#i think i have a few caps left for this film#i made these for c/rackship reasons but uhhhh#yknow#the fanfic girlies guys and nonbinary babes. here u go#blade cw#i didnt notice the frickan#i cant tell if its a flip razor or a regular razor#i went to beauty school i forgot the name#my thoughts are potentail stab and therefore n i c e#mine.
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I grabbed a bunch of caps for that last post so here's a few more in my favorite genre of bejĂta
#silly hours#dbtag#i cannot express to you in strong enough terms how happy I am that super let him be silly and have fun#He's so happy and comfortable even when he's not. he's grown so much and healed so much i am so --!!#when you've had a blorbo since you were 8 and now you're in your 30s and blorbo chose to grow and mature and heal too it's special#and it means a lot to me đ„č Never thought I'd see the day when all those headcanons I had were validated by the canon#i am constantly thinking about how toriyama said he shied away from more complex emotional plots because he didn't trust his art#but toya's nuance and pacing and composition skill is the reason he can and chose to write those kinds of stories in super#đ„ș i just love them all a whole lot. what a team. toya is such a find.#anyway thank you tori & toya i owe u my life or at least my undivided attention span
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DRAW EVIL RAGATHA BEING SUPER PROTECTIVE OF POMNI
you⊠do you know? that bad girls? go to hell?
#requesties#my thoughts while drawing this: god i hope this doesn't awaken something in me... THEY TOLD ME THINK ABOUT WELL I DID AND I DON'T WANNA FEE#A THING ANYMORE... fuck this is too much... idgaf... im so jealous of pomni... please pomni don't be so hard to draw im tryin put u w with#your wife stupid... oh... oh??? so you're cooperating now... good shut up and kiss her holy shit#*puts head in hands* it did in fact awaken something in me#creepy protective mommy ragatha#and shy concerned creepy pomni#since theres already evil!raggs out there somewhere im dubbing this ragapom âedgelord!ragapomâ so#edgelord!ragapom#ragapom#caption is Get Scared lyrics#my art#digital art#sketch sloppy oppy sketch#design switches because I couldnât give edgelord!ragatha cute curly hair like#in my head this raggs is 4 sure a voodoo doll and not a Raggedy Ann knock off#girl has graduated into goth school đ#thanks 4 the requestie#buttonblossom#pomni x ragatha#jesterdoll#doomed digital yuri
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lee know as a tsundere manga character for @skzfaker's bdayđ„ł
#linosource#createskz#bystay#staycompany#dancerachasource#madebymel#jypartists#usersemily#skzakire#usersa#lee know#skz#stray kids#happy birthday akire!!!!!!!#i thought i'd try to bring this to life for ur bday HAHAHHđ#i appreciate ur friendship so much and thank you for always being there <3#please enjoy the duality of minho in honor of your day of birth#thank u for helping me find the leetiddies for ur own present HAHAHA#i hope the sparkles in the 'there' clip came through...#also had to cut off the skzflix basketball clip bc he didnt actually make the shot LMAOO
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TRANS HICCUP!!!! Him and Astrid are very t4t
berkâs power couple
#mochis mumbles#my art#ask#anonymous#httyd#how to train your dragon#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#hiccup haddock#astrid hofferson#THANK U FOR GETTING MY VISION. THEYRE BOTH TRANS & RULING THE WORLD#Astrid and hiccup r THEEEEE t4t couple of my childhood.#aughhh. i have so many thoughts about both of their gender explorations and coming-tos and what not#TY FOR THE ASK BTW been meaning to draw them explicitly trans.#theyre always trans on my blog#unless i specify#btw Astridâs cheek scar is a headcanon of mine and itâs from the red death fight!#itâs only fun if you get a scar out of it after all#art
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AshtonIrwin: âWe collide again, the moonlight on your skin, I feel your tidal pleasuresâđ âđ» đ
#do you ever have one of those days where it feels like your entire life is falling apart and then the silliest thing is oddly life affirming#just wondering âđâ#5sos#5 seconds of summer#ashton#ashton irwin#blood on the drums#Instagram#ai ig#kh4f post#he is truly insane for this#i have never felt more personally attacked#âđâ#âđ«Šâ#âđ
â#he#those are my thoughts on the matter#also this man literally just posted suggestive lyrics alongside the đ emoji#thus i officially can have the tag#đđđ#and even#đđ«Šđ#and no one can say a damn thing about it đ#thank u sir love u sir i love ur poetry sir
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two of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#they'd both put opportunity cards in ur deck#the scoundrel would have some really absurd high risk/high reward luck check probably involving their masterly persona#+ all the normal scoundrel hijinks#while the scientist would just be like. he comes out of nowhere unprompted to take a bullet for you and swaps your wounds and nightmares#if you dont have either he causes both. have fun.#such delightful little guys#yin-thoughts#fallen london#game balance was a suggestion i mostly ignored in favor of The Sillies#scoundrelventures#thank you tumblr user violant-apologia for the doc to make these i owe u my life etc etc
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don't mind this too much I'm just typing out my thoughts but I feel like Haku carries around a lot of emotional baggage and this might be because of his issues with his family and maybe--if there are any--unresolved issues with Frostheim?? I know him and Tohma aren't on the best terms fs.
Anyway, I feel like whenever Haku brings up any issues from the past he talks about them so... casually? When Haku brings up Tohma in his home screen voice lines, it doesn't seem like he holds any grudges toward Tohma--if anything I read it thinking they were almost friendly with each other before I saw his campus convo w/ Tohma. It's also silly to me how when Haku brought up his family being "happy to see him gone" he didn't seem like he was bothered by it at all. I don't mean to say he was actually unbothered by it ofc I just feel like he definitely has a lot of baggage and I want to assume he tries not to ponder on it too much for his own mental health and to maybe not be a burden on others?? lowkey relatable but my take on Haku is that he definitely doesn't like to bring up his past unless it's relevant to the conversation đ and even then he gives a vague amount of details and doesn't really seem to state his opinions on them.
I feel like his affinity 19 line kinda just reaffirmed this for me? it just seems like he bottles up a lot of his emotions so when you get really close to him he feels comfortable enough to just vent a little bit... but even so he still apologizes. it's also interesting to me how when you get closer to him with affinity he lets you in on his life a little more (his poor sleep habits, his kind of ominous level 25 line, also his mini rant about how much it must suck to have a curse. his input on that is interesting to me given that he's so close to Rui and he tells mc that he knows how to get around a curse but I digress)
my affinity with Haku is like 5 right now so I can't really speak but he's definitely one of my favorites so far so I wanted to ask an actual Haku fan what they thought!!!
regarding haku bottling things up: i agree with you that haku seems like he's carrying around a lot but tries not to think about it too much? i don't think he bottles it up on purpose, but haku does seem like he has a 'if i don't think too much about it i can pretend it didn't happen' kind of vibe. which is also what happened when we go to ask him about the clash - he doesn't want to talk about it since it brings up pretty bad memories for the ghouls.
but more so, i think he might also be a 'it already happened, so why bother thinking about it so much?' kind of person. he brings up his family being "happy to see him gone" and how they think he's an "irresponsible heir" in a pretty flippant way, which makes me think he's either refusing to think about it too much because he'll actually need to think about what will happen after he graduates from darkwick, or he's already finished processing it and is all like it is what it is, what can i do?
i'm leaning more towards the latter because of how casually he treats it and how he just drops it into conversation. it's not big enough of an issue to him that he has to keep himself from dumping it all on you. it doesn't read like a shameful secret either, just more like a part of him and his history that just is - it just slips out whenever it comes up in conversation. after all, there's nothing he can do to change it, right?
sidenote: it also makes me wonder if haku is putting in so much effort in hotarubi missions not only to make up for subaru and zenji (given that subaru has limited firepower and zenji is... zenji...) but also to prove (to who? to himself? to whoever is watching?) that he can be responsible, he can take care of his house... after all, it's not as if subaru and mc can go talk to his family and show them how responsible he actually is in taking care of hotarubi... right?
regarding higher affinity lines 19 to 23: i agree!! it seems like the closer you get to him, the more relaxed and open he seems around you. although the higher affinity lines do just read like you're just spending a lot more time in hotarubi in general - you're awake / maybe i'll take a nap / i'm going to bed... you're around hotarubi and spending so much time together with him in his room your hours start blurring together. it's really cute also when i think about him hinting in his chat he wants to take a nap with you on the veranda. haku, rest!!!!! i say, ignoring my own massive sleep debt.
regarding his affinity 24 line about being cursed: the more i read it, the more i wonder if it's not just him being sympathetic to rui and mc being cursed... what if haku has also been cursed? that's why he's so clear about the helplessness and the "why me?" that accompanies the curse... either that or he's just a really great listener and really empathetic and kind. which, given what we've seen of him, is also a very real possibility. he has a really big heart i'm gna beat his entire family up please he needs someone on his side and to see the good in him beyond what he does for others for ONCE
regarding affinity 25 line: i've been thinking about this also!! why does he want you to forget about him, and why does he think that's selfish!!!! you want to remember him and your time together because no matter what happens in the end / if you're hurt by him or your curse, these memories are precious to you - even if you lose him, at least he was yours to lose.
he wants you to forget because somehow, he thinks the memories you have of him will cause you pain. he doesn't want to see you suffer through the process of losing him as you succumb to your curse. if you just forgot him, maybe you could go a lot easier. to him, it's selfish because you clearly don't want to forget and they're your memories and it's your prerogative, but for his own sake, he wants you to forget because he wants to see you go without pain. if you forget about him, the only one who suffers will be him.
or: haku knows memories make a person. he knows this from subaru's stigma, and he knows this from how ghosts are just memories of people who live on. once the anomaly in you takes over, if you'd just forget about him, as long as it doesn't carry any memories of your life together, it means that you're well and truly gone and he can now kill the anomaly with the knowledge that there is nothing left of you, without any sort of guilt.
regarding the haku-tohma relationship: i think also in light of the theory that haku was a frostheimer who transferred out to hotarubi (and perhaps even transferred out alongside yuri) and left a big gap for tohma to fill, it makes sense that tohma doesn't see him in a good light. tohma seems like the kind who values loyalty a lot (given how he maintains his friendship with alan), and as a result might see haku as a traitor to jin/frostheim. which also explains why when they met in ep7 ch19 tohma was all like, "our wheelhouse?" when haku used 'our' to refer to himself as part of hotarubi, as if something about haku treating himself as part of hotarubi rubs tohma the wrong way. maybe he's bitter haku doesn't think of himself as frostheim anymore? which doesn't make too much sense to me since tohma transferred out of vagastrom... unless he also thinks of himself as vagastrom at heart? maybe his frostheim identity is stored in his monocle
at the same time, haku just treats tohma sort of coolly ("if you've got something to say to me, just say it.") - he doesn't want to play politics like tohma does. which i think is very much in line with what you said about him not holding any grudges towards tohma - if anything, the tension seems very one-sided and something haku wants to leave behind.
(that one theory going around also makes sense to me... that haku would transfer out of frostheim not because of anything major but because he couldn't stand the rich people politics going on in there... he's too lazy for that sort of shit... which is why he enjoys hotarubi a lot more, since subaru is a really sincere person and zenji is just... zenji...)
anyway tldr; sorry this was a massive word vomit and idk if i even answered anything but i think haku just needs someone on his side for once and mc needs to stop second-guessing him because i, for one, will follow him wherever he goes,,,
#tokyo debunker#haku kusanagi#lin answers#i spent way longer than expected thinking about how to answer this asjdhflakjsd#thank u!!!! i've not thought so deeply about haku in a while#just wanna ! hold his hand#let him take a nap#anyway i think haku deserves someone to love him as is and not for what he does or can do for others#also me describing zenji: (waving hands around) he's just... zenji.....#i love hotarubi...#sorry i would usually tag this w ur name but i cant find it on your blog!! ;n;#lav#haku brainrot
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(Based off of the reality of having a metal ring in your back as a constant reminder of your fate and how that affects you as a person set in the Switzerland arc)
âDoes it hurt?âÂ
Avaâs pressed face down into the pillow sleep curling around her limbs. She hums, she canât remember what she says, sheâs exhausted. Her arms are tangled beneath her pillow. She holds her fingers tightly between each other, her bones ache from the pressure but her hands no longer shake. Ava hasnât experienced this before, a fear that haunts her at night. (She finds she cannot stop dreaming about dying. Itâs stifling in the cover of night trying to figure out where she is.)Â
She slowly opens her eyes and squints in the darkness. Beatrice is facing her a furrow in her brow that Ava knows sheâs doing unconsciously. Avaâs lip quirks a smidgen, Beatrice looks funny. Itâs a bit silly to her, Beatrice no doubt working out a solution to an unknown problem that Ava has yet to see in the middle of the night. In her sleepy state she wants to laugh at the imaginary cogs churning in Beatriceâs head.Â
Beatrice scooches closer and Ava panics, her skin can taste the dust of Beaâs forearm. She hoists herself up on her elbows, turning to face Beatrice. âWha?â Avaâs shaking off bits of sleep from her mouth when Beatrice repeats herself.Â
âDoes the Halo hurt?âÂ
She doesnât know if she wants to answer that. Ava peers over Beatrice squinting at the harsh light of the digital clock on Beatriceâs side. Ava loves it, it reminds her of the early 2000âs and the aesthetic of waking up to an alarm to go somewhere. The clock blinks an innocent 1:43 Am, and Ava debates on letting her head thump back down.Â
She turns her body on her side, she can feel the halo shifting in her back and it makes her want to throw up. The sides of the halo press against her shoulder blades and Ava resists the urge to yank it out. She grits her teeth and settles ignoring the skin of her back pulling tight to accommodate for the ring. Beatrice is still expecting an answer and Ava canât lie to her, she pulls the covers of the sheet up to her chest hoping to bide more time for an answer.Â
"Everything hurts Bea," Ava smiles, "getting my ass handed to me is hard work."
Beatrice frowns displeased but looks at her through her lashes, it's unguarded, the stress and worries of the world stay out of their room in the dead of night. Her lashes are so pretty and Ava wants to curse the soft glow of the moon. Thereâs just enough moonlight to illuminate her eyes but overshadow her freckles. Ava swallows down the taste of defeat, she canât win, she thinks.Â
Her gaze is soft, Beatrice is looking at her and itâs different yet the same. The same feeling in her chest constricting her lungs, the same soft gaze of Beatrice. Beatrice who likes what she sees in Ava when Ava can barely see where she begins. She doesnât like to dwell on it, the truth of the matter being what belongs to Ava.
If she closes her eyes she can pretend just a little longer. She can give herself the hope of the future and what comes after all this. She can put down the fighting and the artifact and live. Ava doesn't want to think about it anymore, at least not tonight when Beatrice is here with her.Â
Beatrice is soft. She knows it from hours and hours of training. She's felt it when Beatrice corrects her form, in the way she talks. She speaks from a place of care like she has turned the harsh words in her brain over and over to soften the syllables spoken to Ava. And Ava doesn't linger on it, the meaning behind it, (Ava didn't think she'd make it this far, finding a person who cares quite like Bea does.)
And Ava's got it bad, she knows she's fucked because Beatrice doesnât say anything about her language and Ava can't not tell her the truth. She looks down, her hand fiddling with the bed sheet underneath them.Â
"It doesn't hurt," if she thinks about it she can feel the fibers of the cotton between the pads of her fingers. "But it's very uncomfortable." She doesn't want to find the response in Beatrice's eyes, content to hear it from her voice. The soft British lilting accent that holds her just as soft as a touch.Â
She waits, she can picture Beaâs mannerisms with her eyes closed but maybe she should check just to be sure. Ava peers up at Beatrice and sheâs suddenly closer. Her eyes really are pretty, thereâs a depth to them that Ava wants to spend an ungodly amount of time studying.
âCan I help?â
#tko_writes#AND THEN THEY BANGGGG NASTY UGLY HARDDDDD#tenatively titled:#Do you think i'm kind?#in which i dump soup all over this google doc#soup being trauma#yeah this is ooc what about it#i need to go to bed right now#can u believe it i wrote something relatively normal#bleghhh#it wasn't as bad as I thought it would go#canon writing is boring to me personally but this wasn't too bad#it's just like blah blah imagine having a metal ring in ur back and how sleeping on ur side affects your body#just like body horror#and like the constant reminder of it because how do u escape something that's so uncomfortable sitting between ur shoulder blades but#helps you move and do all the things u dreamed of???#anyway got bonked with this idea talking with ard#everyone thank ard for this if u liked it#i was supposed to write more but i've gotta go to bed#Ava's thoughts are all over the place but i'm gonna say that's cuz she's sleepy#something somethign it's just all the trauma she's gone through because she's had the halo is present and she's constantly reminded of it#because it jostles inside of her and no one was really fit to house a halo#something something GET RID OF THE HALO BEARERS LET THOSE WOMEN LIVE THEIR LIVES#RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Happy Valentines, Akira. Happy Valentines, Asshole.
If you canât read what Akechiâs secondary inner-dialogue says cause I obscured it too much behind his regular dialogue, hereâs a transcription in panel order: Hello, you fucking- Ah- Hello, Akira! Fuck off, why should I tell you- Just a soda- thereâs a new flavor.
I donât want your shitty gift. Oh- haha! Youâre so sweet.
I hope I choke. Theyâre lovely, thank you.
Like hell. Likewise. Thereâs no way itâs just a coincidence. Still though, itâs a funny coincidence.
#p5#akeshu#akechi goro#kurusu akira#wow- me?? posting a valentines comic... actually on?? valentines????? wack. absolutely wack#it's a short one! I purposefully tried to keep it short. it was a challenge and it still ended up being 3 pages. but i blame my canvas size#also in case u can't see what akira is holding out to akechi: theyre chocolate covered strawberries on sticks!#i saw them irl and was like oh god i want those. i am going to project that feeling on my favorite characters so help me god#and now! here we are! but my shitty-ass coloring & line quality make it hard to discern them so. sorry about that lmaooooo#ANYWAY i don't do enough post-maruki stuff so. i made this one a little bittersweet. :)#why did i put akechi's scarf in a bow? honestly i dont know! i think i saw some art a while ago that did that too and i thought it was cute#well. plus i guess there's the symbolism of 'akechi being alive and reciprocating your feelings (however involuntarily) IS a gift' part#hence that hes wrapped up in a bow. like a present. :)#also god. the first panel is supposed to be akechi's reflection in a vending machine window. I could NOT get it to look right#so for reference!!! just so you guys understand!!!!!! thats what that panel is supposed to be!!! he is NOT in fact a ghost. (sigh)#hope you enjoyed and had a lovely valentines!! for my part i have eaten nothing but sweets today and hoo boy will that have been a mistake#ALSO in terms of the audience-participation comic...hopefully coming soon. if i can ever gain the will to draw it.#but at least tumblr has polls now so i can do the audience-choose-y bit without needing to use a separate website! so thats good i guess#anyway anyway anway thanks for listening to me ramble if you made it this far! have a lovely rest of your day and hopefully see u again soon
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