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[guideoflife]

[livthelazywriter]

I can’t stop thinking about Bradley with a natural/holistic/crunchy wife/girlfriend.

It would be so cute.

He’d meet you at the grocery store. The two of you standing in the snack aisle. You pick up a box of crackers and read through the ingredients list. Your nose scrunches in disgust of the gross unknown list of junk. With a disappointing sigh, you place the box back. Bradley looks bored about what he wants. He sneaks glances at you here and there, making note that you are reading the ingredients. Well, that you are also really, really, cute.

“Are you reading the ingredients?” He asks with an amused snort. With a sheepish smile, you nod.

“Yeah, I am.”

Of course he asks why and you explain. You preferred minimal ingredients in your foods. No nasty preservatives, seed oils and anything with soy. You tended to stray from food dyes, but honestly you never turned down sour patch kid gummies if offered. You simply had a happy medium.

He found it…endearing.

You chatted in the aisle. He liked your smile and the way you were passionate about your lifestyle. The glimmer in your eyes when you vommited out information on him.

He asks for your number and things slowly fall into routine.

You went on dates. One after the other.

He found out you make your own perfumes with essential oils and buy all organic foods. You make sourdough bread, which is amazing in his book. Speaking of essential oils, your collection is huge. You have any type for anything. For topical use or defusing. Ginger for rubbing on and upset stomach and lavender to help relax from stress. Orange to add to your homemade cleaner for a nice, clean scent. Vanilla bean for that sweet perfume he’s come to love that you make.

He does find it odd a first. He likes to tease about your oils and how much you use them. The over abundance of supplements and homeopathic medicine in your medicine cabinet instead of Tylenol, ibuprofen, and DayQuil.

Or the million plants in your whole apartment, the air purifier in your room, and the red light therapy pad rolled up next to the couch. The castor packs you do before bed and the few drops you rub in your belly button.

He grumbles when you make him take sour vitamin c powder when he starts to get sick but later waves you off when you notice he’s already getting better. He roles his eyes when you tell him he needs to stop drinking so much soda because of the sugar, nasty corn syrup and fake flavors. You slowly get him onto probiotic and prebiotic sodas or sparkling water to scratch that soda itch. He notices that they make him feel better, but just a little so he’s says.

Finally he starts asking you to rub lavender oil on his neck and using your red light therapy for his sore shoulders. Bradley asks you to make him more shaving cream that you made him once for his birthday because he says it’s so much better than Gillette. He’s also lowered his alcohol intake at the Hard deck so his ‘poor liver’ will stay alive even though he can tell he feels so much better since listening to you.

Like you, he reads ingredients now and gets made fun of by the dagger squad. Bradley simply huffs and rolls his eyes at them as he grabs some chips that have olive oil instead of canola oil. They say he’s gone soft for you, which is indeed true. Thanks to you though, he’s notice his health has gotten better, so he doesn’t care about their criticism.

[webslingingslasher]

babe i was so drunk last night, like a lot. i had too many shots of vodka and now im sitting here, thinking of frat!peter beside me and how he would be while i was crying as the vodka made its way to my blood

oh he'd be such a little shit too. (edit: i read this as being hungover.. oops)

'i'm dying. if i go into the light, please tell everyone you were my boyfriend.'

'you're not dying.'

'i am. my liver is shutting down. i can feel it.'

'you just need to eat. how about a big fat greasy pile of hashbrowns-'

you gag.

'-and runny eggs-'

your eyes water.

'-oh, and some super sweet syrup and pancakes.'

you feel your stomach lurch.

'please, peter. i'm gonna puke.'

'fine. let me take care of you, my princess.'

you perk, head flying off the pillow you ignore the sharp pounding in your skull. 'what'd you call me?'

'nothing. you're crazy and hungover.... my pretty, pretty princess.'

'aw! peter!'

'what? i just said i'd get you some advil... weirdo.'

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

hi moffy!!! what do you think jon would be like if someone he cares for is sick? been deathly sick lately,,, sobs

Jonathan caring for a sick partner HCs

Absolutely dotes over said person

Even though he says he'll let them rest while he works in his lab in the basement

yet he is always checking hourly on them

makes them homemade chicken noodle soup, No campbells shit

has an entire medicine cabinet full of cough syrup, anti cold and sneezing, etc stuff for them to use

but he also tells them "Don't mix this and that or you'll be sorry and so will your liver"

Buys anything they might need, even junk food to make them smile

LOTS OF BLANKETS and QUILTS

yes I know all of this is super soft and occ

but jon. just jon caring about someone. even if it's just allergies.

it warms the soul

[ticklishshenanigansau]

LaughterLand - Chapter 20: Witch

(story by Mod Secret, art by Mod Secret)

The old woman was plump and round. Her skin was a bright lime green with darker green freckles and liver spots dotting along her face and hands. She was slightly hunched over, like the top of her spine had been purposefully curved. Yet she moved with such an energy that didn't at all match her aged appearance. She wore a classic witch's attire with the pointed hat and dress, but the colors were the farthest thing from typical. Both her dress and hat were a warm pink color. The bottom half of her dress, as well as her pointed hat, were decked out in dark green stripes. The dark purple belt that was wrapped around her hat and her waist matched her curly elf shoes. Even her ears were elf-like as they curled up into a point.

She had the typical witch nose that was extra big and protruded far out from where her face began. But in place of the big wart that usually decorated the end of a witch's nose was a tiny little pale pink flower. Two more of the same kind of flower sat in the middle of the purple belts on her hat and waist. She had bright cherry-red hair that was kept as an unruly mess on top of her large head. Her nails were a shimmering dark lavender color, they were long and perfectly tipped, making them ideal for tickling. While it was clear that she couldn't have cared less about her hair or her toothy yellow smile, it was obvious that she valued her nails.

Her large and striking golden eyes sparkled with delight upon seeing the skeletons trapped within the coils of the Magenta and Lilac Snakes. She clapped her hands with utter delight before holding open the door to her cottage.

"Oh-ho-ho-ho!! Come in, come in, my precious pets! Please see to it that our new guests are nice and comfortable!" She giggled like a child that had just been given a new toy.

The brothers struggled uselessly as the snakes dragged them into the old cottage, they blinked as the warm glow of the lights stung their sockets. Once their vision had adjusted, they saw where the warm glow had been coming from.

Directly in the middle of the cottage floor was an enormous bubbling cauldron sitting in a makeshift fireplace, which looked to be a large hole in the ground. Flames wisped around the bottom of the giant pot, heating the strange violet liquid inside to a boil. The smell that engulfed the cottage was sweet, almost too sweet. Like someone had added gallons upon gallons of sugar to an already saccharine syrup.

On the right side of the cauldron was a large wooden table. A tall, slightly crooked black wand rested right next to a large pile of feathers. The feathers were bright pastel colors, large and exuberantly fluffy. Sans knew that they had to have come from the Squeal Owls, along with several other types of bird-like creatures from this place. But feathers weren’t the only terrible tools that this table was carrying. Off to the side there were hairbrushes, paintbrushes, toothbrushes, feather dusters, scratchers, and even a small vial looked to be carrying baby oil. Clearly she was well-versed in the subject of tickle torture. The brothers’ anxiety nearly hit the roof upon seeing her devious collection.

Laying against the wall on the other side of the room, were large wooden shelves that contained a multitude of glass bottles and vials. The liquid inside the little containers were a mixture of different colors and substances, some even glowing and sparkling with fire. Standing right next to the shelves were two large wooden stakes that were sticking straight out of the wooden floor. The snakes dragged the squirming brothers over to the stakes and roughly pinned them down against them.

Sans pushed and clawed at the Magenta Snake as he felt it shoving his spine against the thick wooden stake. He fought with all of his might, even threatening to bite down on its tail again if it dared to venture anywhere near his face. The Magenta Snake let out a sharp warning hiss that immediately got the attention of the witch.

“Tsk, tsk. Now this kind of behavior won’t do at all,” she tutted.

The witch grabbed the wand off of the wooden table. Light sparked out of the end as she gave it a swift flick towards the wooden stakes. A long strand of rope that had been hidden in the corner of the room came to life and started slithering towards the brothers. In a flash, the rope coiled around Sans's wrists, pulling itself into a tight knot.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Stop it! OW!!"

Sans panicked and struggled but it was too late. With a swift yank, the rope pulled Sans's wrists upwards, securing his hands over his head and tying him to the wooden stake.

"Can't have you giving my precious pets a hard time, can I?" The Witch beamed at her handiwork. With another flick of the twisted black wand, she summoned three more hidden ropes. One to tie Papyrus's wrists in the same position as Sans’s, and the other two to tie around their waists like makeshift seat belts securing them even tighter to the stakes. The skeletons squirmed and struggled against their new bonds, much to the witch's entertainment.

"Relax, Bone-Boys," she teased after an outburst of amused cackling. "Enjoy your stay at the Old Dropwart cottage."

"D-Dropwart?" Papyrus stammered nervously.

"That's me, deary!" She approached him with a burst of energy that startled him into shaking. "They call me Old Witch Dropwart, now doesn't THAT have a nice ring to it?" She cackled again, her high-pitched laughter echoing off the cottage walls.

"Um … it's … v-very um...." Papyrus stuttered and trembled, unsure of what to say and terrified of saying the wrong thing.

"Nasty," Sans finished for him with a blunt and bitter tone. "Nasty? Gross? Disgusting? Appalling? Do I have it about right?"

To his surprise, with every unfavorable word he used to describe what he thought of her name, her smile grew wider and prouder.

"Oh, why thank you, my deary!" She gave Sans a playful little curtsey with her striped skirt. "It's a family name you know, passed down from generations. Why … have you ever heard of the Hemlock Water Dropwort?"

She looked eagerly at the brothers, as if hopeful for an answer. Sans just stood there silently glaring at her while Papyrus timidly shook his head.

"Why! It's one of the most deadliest flowers in the whole world!" she eagerly explained. "Consuming such a plant has led to such countless gruesome deaths!"

She let out another shrieking cackle, one that caused the skeletons an even greater deal of anxiety. She just seemed so unnaturally cheerful talking about such a grim subject.

"But what was the most fascinating thing about these victims … was that they were all found with such adorable ear-to-ear smiles." She demonstrated with her own rotting toothy grin. "It was as if it had caused them all to DIE LAUGHING!!"

She doubled over in hysterics, recalling the terrifying tale. Sans and Papyrus observed her, utterly horrified, she was truly crazy. Was this what she had planned for them? Was she going to force them to die laughing, true to her namesake? The brothers pulled even harder against the magical ropes.

"Please...!" Papyrus strained. "Please no!! Y-Your snakes have already attempted to tickle us to death!! We can't take anymore!!"

"What?!"

Dropwart's demeanor suddenly changed to one of annoyance. She turned back to her serpents who seemed to have a look of guilt upon their faces.

"Oh you naughty little worms!" she scolded, bopping them both on the snout with her wand, causing them to recoil. "You know better than to snack on my fresh ingredients! You get your own food at dinnertime!"

The snakes looked at her with sorry eyes, reminiscent of a puppy getting yelled at for not listening to its owner. They both slinked away back into the corner of the room while Dropwart turned her attention back to the brothers.

"I am dreadfully sorry about them, my dears." She gave them both an insincere look of concern. "Sometimes they just can't resist…." She approached the brothers with a devious grin as she very purposefully eyed their exposed tickle spots. "You two must be particularly delectable sources of food!"

She made a show of greedily licking her lips before turning towards her shelf. She grabbed a handful of empty glass vials and placed them across the wooden table before turning towards her bubbling cauldron. She gave the bright violet liquid a steady stir causing the overly saturated sweet smell to engulf the air with renewed life.

"You stay away from us!"

Sans growled once she stopped stirring to give the cauldron a deep inhalation. She looked back at him, her toothy grin turned halfway up in amusement.

“Oh, not to worry, my deary!” she smirked. “I’m not about to spoil my new source of ingredients!”

“You keep calling us that,” Sans retorted bluntly. “What are you even talking about?”

“S-Sans…,” Papyrus stammered in a hushed tone. “Don’t make her mad! You know what it means, she’s going to devour our laughter just like everybody else!”

Sans wasn’t entirely convinced. If she was as tickle-crazy as their previous adversaries, she would have been on top of them by now. Why all this prep work? Why the cauldron? Why the empty vials? She was planning something else.

Sans squinted his eyes to get a closer look at the glass vials, he noticed that they were all labeled … now if he could just see what was scribbled on the parchment. The larger vial that was closest to the edge of the table was the only one Sans could read clearly. It read; ‘Hysterical’. The one next to it was a lot smaller, Sans lurched his neck forward to try and read it. It looked like it spelled out the word; ‘Tittering’.

As she went back to the table to fumble around with the order in which she wanted the vials placed, Sans could make out one that she had grabbed in her hand. It read; ‘Belly Laughter’. Finally it dawned on him, the prep work and the strangely labeled vials started to make sense. She wasn’t about to consume their laughter … she was about to collect it!

“There we go!” she said once she had organized the vials on the table to her liking. She grabbed the smaller one at the end of the line and approached the brothers eagerly. “Let’s start off with this one, shall we?”

Anxiety flooded Sans’s chest, he tried to read the label, but it was clutched deeply into her green speckled hand. Papyrus whimpered and tugged at the ropes as he panicked.

“Wh-What are you gonna do with us?!” he practically shrieked.

“Well isn’t it obvious my dear?” Dropwart replied in a playful manner. “Why I’m going to tickle you, of course! Now where did I put that wand?”

"Oh no! No! No! Please don't!! I'm begging you!!"

Papyrus shrieked as he strained against the ropes. Sans gritted his teeth scowling at the giggling witch as she reached for her wand.

"Don't you EVEN dare!" he spat angrily. "Don't touch him or I swear I'll—"

Sans was cut off by the craziness he saw unfolding in front of him. With another flick of the twisted black wand, the pile of pastel feathers stood up on the wooden table before proceeding to levitate into the air. They hovered together in a colorful cluster just above Dropwart's head as she grinned maliciously at the skeletons.

“Now here’s a fun little game I want to play with you boys.” She pointed the wand at the brothers, her toothy grin growing wider with mischief. The feathers, in turn, aimed themselves in the same direction causing Sans and Papyrus to tense up with anxiety.

“Just try and keep your laughter in!”

She let out another shrieking cackle as she directed the horde of levitating feathers to swarm after the skeletons. Sans shut his eyes tightly as he felt the bristles of the soft Squeal Owl feathers starting to brush against the back of his knees. He moved to kick his leg out, but the rope bound him too tightly to the stake. He stood there helplessly as two more feathers brushed against the sides of his skull, tickling at his ears, cheeks and jawbone.

He shut his eyes and gritted his teeth, trying his best to hold back the laughter. The soft tickling on his gentler spots would have otherwise elicited a lot of giggling out of him, he began to wonder why she wasn’t immediately going for the dangerous spots. As grateful as he was that the soft tickling wasn’t completely unbearable right off the bat, it was still irritating. He tried his best to scrunch up his neck and toss his head around, but whichever way his skull moved, the feathers followed.

Sans peeked open one eye to notice that the same thing was happening to Papyrus. His ears, cheeks, and neck were all being targeted. He didn’t even have to look down to know that there was a group of feathers also aiming behind his knees. Much like him, Papyrus was also trying to hold it in and squirm away. It wasn’t until an extra fluffy feather moved to the front of his throat to start swishing around that Papyrus let out a strained giggle.

“Nyehee…! Heeheeheehee…!” He still tried so hard to hold back, Sans could feel his toes thumping against the wooden floor. It didn’t make too much of a difference. Many more feathers moved to brush against his neck and collarbone, Papyrus, in response, choked back a squeal.

“Agh…!! Nyahaha…!! N-Nohoho! Eeek!! Heeheeheehee!!”

The feathers on Sans’s side also began fluffing along his throat and collarbone. Sans felt the laughter starting to bubble up in his chest, but he swallowed hard, refusing to immediately be undone by such soft and gentle tickling. He barely released small spurts of breath as his bones jerked around from the buildup of pressure.

“Ohhh! Look at that!” Dropwart began bouncing on her toes excitedly. She held the vial close to Papyrus’s face, a look of anticipation in her eyes.

Sans kept his sockets locked on Papyrus, making sure she didn’t do anything more to him. That’s when he realized something had changed. A stream of what looked like red smoke was pouring out of Papyrus’s mouth as he continued to snicker. It was phosphorescent and moved like it was purposefully trying to escape from him. Suddenly, it turned to the direction of Dropwart’s bottle. The direction of the strange red smoke dove straight into the glass vial, filling it up in an instant.

“Excellent!” she exclaimed as she fastened the cork onto the vial’s opening, quickly trapping the red smoke inside. “I just knew you’d be the first to break!”

She gave Papyrus a playful wink before giving the wand another flick of her wrist. The feathers around them stopped tickling and fell lifeless to the floor. Both brothers immediately gasped for air, though it didn’t take them long to once again regulate their breathing. After everything they had been through, the soft feather tickles were basically nothing more than a gentle warm-up.

“Pap! Are you okay?” Sans asked worriedly. He didn’t know what that smoke meant, or how it would affect him. But to his relief, Papyrus seemed perfectly fine.

“I…. I think so,” Papyrus replied quietly.

He too was terrified to know just what they were dealing with. The brothers watched as Dropwart placed the now glowing red vial onto the table before grabbing another one.

“What did you do to him?” Sans demanded boldly.

“Oh, you mean this?”

Dropwart gave the older skeleton a cheeky smile before reaching for the red vial again to give them a better view of it. As she approached with the little glass bottle in hand, Sans could finally read the label, it said; ‘Tittering’.

“This kind of brew requires a total of seven different kinds of laughter,” Dropwart explained as she dangled the vial of Papyrus’s tittering laughter in front of them. “And you boys are gonna help me get every last drop!”

She hurriedly placed the red vial back onto the table before proceeding to remove the cork from the next vial in line. Both brothers stood there, terrified and utterly dumbfounded. In this world, laughter wasn’t just a main food source, it could be used as a physical ingredient like any other piece of food. The idea that she was milking their laughter out of them like a dairy farmer did to a cow was terrifying enough, but what wouldn’t stop ringing in the brothers’ skulls was the fact that she had said she needed ‘seven different kinds of laughter’. What did that even mean? It was seven different kinds of crazy that was unfolding right before them, and all they knew was that they didn’t want to be here for any of it.

“No! Please! Please don’t do this!!” Papyrus started panicking once he got a good look at the other vials on the table. “Please! W-We don’t taste good, it’s not worth it!! We’ll give you indigestion! Let us go!!”

While Papyrus struggled and pleaded, Sans could only glare. He knew it was of no use now. The way she was clutching the empty vial and looking at them, one way or another she was going to drain the laughter out of them, and there was nothing they could do to stop her.

“Oh, such nonsense dearies!” Dropwart chuckled. “Even your simple snickers are worth their weight in gold. You two have just what I’m looking for!”

She suddenly placed the empty vial on the shelf next to them. She held up both of her hands, the mischievous look on her face never faltering.

“But … if you need a little more energy … I bet I can give you a hand!”

With two distinct popping sounds, Dropwart’s hands completely disconnected from her wrists and jumped down to the floor crawling around like two giant lime green spiders.

Sans and Papyrus practically jolted out of their bonds in surprise. Being skeletons, they too could disconnect their hands and feet when necessary. But this was the very last thing they had expected from a being of flesh and blood. Her wrists didn’t appear hurt by this at all, they were just left as two green stumps at the end of her arms. Clearly, she had done this before.

The two disconnected hands immediately scurried towards Papyrus, quickly crawling up his legs and heading towards his upper body with intense speed. Papyrus shrieked and cringed with disgust at the sight, but as the perfectly-tipped nails made contact with his ribs, he found that he couldn’t stop himself from giggling.

“EEK!! Ahaha! No! Nyahahahaha!! N-Nohoho! Get them off meheeheehee!!”

The hands stopped just under opposite sides of his underarms. One hand began crawling across the entirety of his ribcage with lightning speed. The other one stayed put, scratching under his right underarm.

Papyrus giggled frantically and tugged at the restraints. The idea of being tickled by uncontrollable disembodied hands made him horribly uncomfortable, and to make matters worse, they were both highly skilled when it came to tickling.

“Nyahahahahaha!! Pl-Plehehease!! Hahahaha!! Please stahahahap!! Ahahahaha!!” he pleaded, squealing every time a nail would graze a sensitive spot on his ribs. “Plehehehehehease!! This—ahaha!! Th-This is ahahahahawful!! Nyahahahahaha!!”

Sans looked on in horror as the hands tickled mercilessly at Papyrus’s upper body. He pulled at his own restraints, a newfound resolve taking hold of him in wanting to rescue his brother. But no matter how hard he pulled, the ropes wouldn’t budge an inch. He looked back at Papyrus, expecting to find the same smoke trailing out of his mouth for Dropwart to collect. But to his surprise, nothing was happening. She didn’t even have a vial ready, her hands were too busy tickling Papyrus.

Sans sharply turned as he heard a subtle hissing sound. The Magenta Snake was looking at him, a look of greed dancing in the light of its piercing eyes. Sans felt himself starting to squirm as the snake began slithering towards him. He kept his sockets locked on the serpent, wishing with all of his might that he could kick at it, lunge at it, do anything that would scare it away, but it continued to creep towards him, feathery tongue flicking away teasingly.

“St-Stay back!” Sans timidly snapped. The snake continued moving forward, completely ignoring his warning. “I mean it! You stay away!”

At last, the Magenta Snake lay in front of him, only a few inches away. If Sans wasn’t bound to the wooden stake, he would have been able to reach out and touch it. Or more specifically, reach out and punch it in the nose. For what felt like an eternity, he and the brightly colored serpent just stared at each other, the reptile refused to blink or look away for even a second. That’s when Sans realized … it was quiet. Papyrus’s laughter had ceased, and the younger skeleton was now taking deep inhalations.

In the heat of the moment, Sans suddenly felt two very distinct hands start digging into his underarms, tickling away with reckless abandon.

“WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAHAHA!! NO—NAHAHAHAHA!!”

The older skeleton erupted with laughter as the disembodied hands scribbled mercilessly at his defenseless underarms. He wasn’t even aware that a bright blue smoke was trailing out of his mouth until he felt the hands lifting away from his sensitive tickle spot and start crawling down the sides of his body.

As the hands reconnected with Dropwart’s wrists, she giggled to herself as she reached for the vial to collect the second type of laughter from Sans.

“Ohoho! The old ‘distract ‘em, attack ‘em’! I just love that one!” she beamed proudly at the Magenta Snake as it nuzzled its broad snout into the side of her dress. “Nicely done, my pet!”

The blue smoke emitting from Sans’s mouth immediately funneled into the glass vial before Dropwart sealed it up with another cork. Sans read the label just before she was able to take the glass bottle back to the table. It read: ‘Outburst’. Sans growled bitterly at the old witch, he felt so played. If only he could tell which kind of laughter she was going for next, maybe he could find a way to predict what she was going to pull next to drag it out of them. But she was clearly experienced with this kind of thing, he knew she wasn’t going to simply let slip what her next move was.

“That’s two!” she cheered as she placed the glowing blue vial next to the red one. “Now, I think I’ll need something special for this one.”

The brothers watched in helpless anticipation as she pondered over the various tools laid across the wooden table. They held their breath, wincing with fear whenever her fingers would graze across a particularly deadly-looking instrument.

“Ah-ha! That’s the ticket!” She held up a large paintbrush, twirling it around in her fingers before staring intently back at Papyrus. “I think this will work nicely on you.”

To an extent, the skeletons were relieved that it hadn’t been something worse like the hairbrush or the toothbrush. But still, the bristles on the end of the paintbrush looked to be incredibly soft, and not knowing what she was planning still left them in a state of panic. Papyrus whimpered and squirmed as she approached him, still twirling the paintbrush between her fingers.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, deary,” she said in a soft tone, motioning for the Lilac Snake to come slithering next to her. “I’m afraid these old bones of mine are too tired to be bending over.”

POP!

Papyrus gasped, his eyes wide with a look of complete shock and horror. At first, Sans didn’t know what had happened. He just stood there watching Papyrus’s expression suddenly change, his Soul nearly froze not knowing what was going on. Then he noticed the tail of the Lilac Snake slithering away with something wrapped up in its coils. Sans, in turn, let out a shocked gasp when he realized what it had … it was Papyrus’s left foot.

With little effort or risk, both brothers are able to physically remove parts of their bodies. Once their chosen appendage is disconnected, however, they are unable to move them around until they are properly reconnected with the rest of them. They can still feel everything that happens, which meant that Papyrus’s foot was now totally helpless and in the clutches of a tickle-hungry witch.

“Oh no … no!” Papyrus whimpered as he watched the Lilac Snake drop his foot into Dropwart’s open palm. “No! You can’t!” He started uselessly pulling at the restraints again, panic engulfing his bones.

“Give him his foot back, right now!” Sans growled, also struggling hopelessly against the ropes.

“Oh, I’ll give it back … after I do this of course!” She gave the underside of Papyrus’s toes a quick swipe of the paintbrush. As expected, the bristles were incredibly soft, and unbearably ticklish.

“EEK!!” Papyrus shrieked.

“Pap! Hold your breath!” Sans instructed.

Papyrus did as he was told, inhaling a deep breath into his cheekbones. Both of them knew that it wasn’t going to last, and it most certainly wasn’t going to deter Dropwart from trying. But it was the only thing either of them could think of in the heat of the moment.

“Oh no you don’t!”

Dropwart eagerly swiped the paintbrush under Papyrus’s toes again. The younger skeleton’s eyes bugged out as a tiny whimper snuck out of him. She continued the motion of dragging the paintbrush back and forth under his toes, greedily eating up every single one of Papyrus’s muffled reactions.

“My, my, my!” she cruelly teased as she began wriggling the bristles between his toes. “You can’t move at all, can you?”

More than anything Papyrus wanted to curl and wiggle his toes. Even though it would do nothing to alleviate the horrid tickling sensations, the physical venting would at least help a little. But to his dismay, his toes remained still and practically lifeless. Helpless to every swipe and bristle the tickling paintbrush had to offer.

Papyrus threw his head back with his sockets shut tight. He lightly banged the back of his skull against the wooden stake as he trembled. The paintbrush wasn’t the worst tickle tool in the world, and his feet weren’t as ticklish as places like his spine or upper body. But more than anything, he just didn’t want to give Dropwart any more of the ‘ingredients’ that she needed.

“Just hang on, Pap,” Sans quietly encouraged him, though he knew the worst was yet to come.

“Well, if you’re gonna be stubborn, then I’ll just have to get you up here, then!” Dropwart pulled the paintbrush out, and proceeded to brush along the tops of Papyrus’s toes. “Tickle tickle tickle!” she teased.

“Nyaaaaaaah!! Ahahahahahahaha!! Ohohoh nooo!! Hahahaha!! Nonononononohoho!! Nahahat thehehere!! Heeheeheeheehee!!”

If Dropwart’s teasing coos weren’t enough, the tops of Papyrus’s toes were even worse than the underside. Although he wasn’t in a position where he could freely bend his toes anyway, he knew that even if he could, he wouldn’t have been able to use them to protect the tops of his toes.

“Ha! I knew that would getcha!” Dropwart cackled. “But that’s a little bit much for me, deary. I’m afraid I’m gonna need something a little bit lighter.”

To their surprise, Dropwart moved the paintbrush back down to the underside of Papyrus’s toes. She swirled and swiped the bristles under and between them, causing Papyrus’s laughter to soften as he released frantic spurts of giggles.

“Eeeeheeheeheehee!! Nohohohoho!! Quihihihihit it!! Nyahahaha!! It-It stihihihill tickles!! Heeheeheeheehee!!” Papyrus chuckled as his upper body squirmed.

It didn’t make any sense to either of them. Clearly the tops of Papyrus’s toes were more ticklish than the bottom side, so why switch it up after finally getting him to break? Sans figured it out once he started seeing the red smoke pouring from Papyrus’s mouth again. She wasn’t yet after the boisterous laughter like for the vial that read ‘Belly Laughter’. She was still warming them up for that by collecting softer chuckles. Sure enough, the vial that collected Papyrus’s red smoke read; ‘Giggling’.

Then Sans got to thinking. His own toes were a lot more ticklish than Papyrus’s, what would have happened had she gone after him instead? She wouldn’t have been able to get any of his giggling, that was for sure. She seemed to know the exact spot that would elicit the perfect giggle from his brother, but the question was how?

“Now let’s see…,” she pondered after placing the full vial of smoke next to the others. She turned to look back and forth between the two skeletons before settling her eyes on Sans. Grinning deviously, she grabbed the next empty bottle in one hand before handing Papyrus’s foot back to the Lilac Snake.

“Please see to it that this gets returned my dear,” she said slyly, never taking her gaze off of the older skeleton. “I do believe I need something from this one now.”

Sans couldn’t help but squirm, she hated the way she was staring at him. Such greedy hunger in those piercing golden eyes. Her toothy grin ensuring nothing but mischief and mayhem. He could just tell, she was going to have way too much fun with whatever she was planning to do with him.

“Whatever you’re thinking of doing, I’m not interested,” Sans retorted boldly, still glaring at the old woman with utter disdain.

“Oh, you don’t have to be, deary. All I need from you is your precious laughter!” She stopped in front of him, teasingly wiggling her fingers directly over his body.

Sans tensed up, the physical teasing affecting him more than he cared to admit. He half-expected her hands to pop off again, or for the levitating feathers to come back to life. But to his surprise, she lunged for him, tickling at his ribs with her hands still attached.

“AAGH!! Ahahahahaha!! Nohohohohoho!! Hahahahahaha!! Get ahahahahaff!! Hahaha!! Get off of meheeheeheehee!! Ahahahaha!!”

There was no hope of holding back for this one. Sans’s ribs were horribly sensitive, and Dropwart’s perfect nails were well-practiced and skilled in the tickling technique. It was a dangerous combination for the poor laughing skeleton.

“Aww, does that tickle, deary?” Dropwart teased as she skittered her nails along the different parts of Sans’s ribcage. “Well, what about here? Yeah? And here? Oh, that must tickle a LOT, huh?”

Dropwart’s verbal teasing was already causing Sans’s sockets to tear up, he was so caught up in the unbearable laughing fit that he didn’t even notice. He hated how sensitive his rib bones were, they never failed to throw him into a blind panic.

“Stahahahahahap ihihihihit!!” Sans screeched. “Dohohohohon’t—ahahahaha!! Don’t—Dohohohon’t tehehehehease!! Ahahahahahaha!!”

“Leave him alone!” Papyrus shouted, still trying his best to break free.

“Oh, don’t worry, deary, we’ll get to you later.” Dropwart smirked at the younger skeleton. “Now where is that spot, huh?”

Although it was clear that she was having a blast tickling at Sans’s ribs with her own two hands, it became clear that Dropwart was in search of something. Papyrus would notice how much time she would spend on one particular spot before turning to another spot giving it that same vigorous treatment. He wasn’t sure what it was she wanted out of Sans, but she wouldn’t stop teasing and tickling him until she would get it.

“Plehehehehehehease!!”

Sans laughter started trailing off into desperate-sounding wheezes. He didn’t know if that’s what she wanted out of him, but at this point he would have done anything to give her the next missing ingredient. Just to make the torture on his ribs stop.

“Plehehehehease!! Please stahahahahahap!! Ahahahahaha!! I-I cahahahan’t…!”

Dropwart finally let her hands up as Sans fell into silent laughter. Her giddy expression of enjoyment was replaced by one of confusion.

“I just don’t get it,” she replied, looking the older skeleton up and down. “I just know that was supposed to get you snorting.”

Sans inhaled sharply, suddenly it made sense. She was after his snorting spot. He felt the spaces in between his ribs starting to tingle just at the thought of it. He silently prayed that his subtle reaction hadn’t immediately tipped her off to where the spot was located. His mind buzzed with confusion. How could she possibly know that his snorting spot was located around the ribcage?

The sharp hissing sound of the Lilac Snake jostled Sans out of his racing thoughts. It eagerly slithered towards Sans without silencing its hissing dialogue. Sans glanced over at Dropwart, who had turned her head towards the serpent listening intently. A sinking feeling of dread began forming in Sans’s bones as he remembered what the serpent had done to him before dragging him to the cottage.

“Well, you don’t say!” Dropwart exclaimed, turning back towards Sans with a knowing smirk on her face. “Alright my pet. Proceed.”

Before Sans had a chance to protest, the Lilac Snake once again shoved its enormous head under Sans’s shirt.

“Oh no! No! No—AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Sans shrieked with renewed laughter as he felt the familiar feeling of the snake’s feathery tongue slipping between his ribs. “NAHAHAHAHAHA!! STAHAHAHAP!! N-NAHAHAT AGAHAHAHAHAIN!!”

Sans erupted with a fit of snorting laughter. Every sharp inhale was met with a louder and louder burst from his nasal cavity, and there was absolutely nothing he could do to control it

Dropwart eagerly collected the blue smoke that poured out of his mouth in little bursts. It was a slightly larger vial than the rest, so she cruelly took her time filling it up to the brim. She fastened the cork onto the glass container firmly before giving the Lilac Snake a steady pat on the back.

“Thank you, my pet. I believe that will do.”

The Lilac Snake gave Sans one last harsh little hiss against his ribs before slinking out of his shirt to return to its owner’s side. Sans shrieked in response before falling limp against the wooden stake. His body greedily swallowing huge gulps of air, as he tried to blink away fresh tears.

“H…. How…?” he breathed out, his question causing Dropwart to pause. “How … did you … know … about … my ribs…?”

“Well … why don’t you take in a deep breath and hold it?” Dropwart replied with a coy smile. Sans responded with an unamused scowl, obviously not in the mood for any more tricks. “Go on,” Dropwart insisted “Take a big breath and hold it until it feels as though you could burst.”

Sans was hesitant, almost certain that this was another one of her schemes to get more laughter out of him. But still … he wanted answers, and it wasn’t like there was anything they could do to stop her. So he inhaled sharply, holding the air within his cheekbones. At first nothing happened, he could feel the pressure starting to rise in his chest, so he clenched his fists together in an attempt to ignore it. He suddenly heard Papyrus take in a sharp inhalation of his own.

“Sans…,” his brother said, shakily. “You’re … glowing.”

Sans’s sockets flew open, he looked down at his body. Sure enough various areas of his body were glowing that same violet color as the sweet-smelling liquid in the cauldron. Some spots were showing up more intensely than others. His underarms, which was one of his most sensitive areas, was glowing brightly. Meanwhile, less ticklish spots like his hips were much more dull in terms of light.

Sans looked up to see Dropwart proudly patting her cauldron, and it all made sense. Ever since stepping into this cursed cottage, Sans and his brother had been inhaling the overly-saturated sweetness of that bubbling potion. Now with the aroma firmly planted into their system, Dropwart could see clearly which spots of their bodies were the most ticklish.

In a total panic, Sans looked down to where the grooves of his back were located. Sure enough, his most ticklish secret spot was the most illuminated part of his body.

“It’s my most favorite spell.” Dropwart beamed down at the bubbling potion. “I never do anything without it. Now … shall we continue?” She picked up another vial from the wooden table, along with her twisted black wand.

As she approached the struggling skeletons, Dropwart looked back and forth between the brothers and the vial. Her expression pondering and perplexed.

“Hmm…,” she hummed in thought. “This will require some belly laughter, but … it looks like we don’t have bellies to work with, my dearies.”

“See?” Papyrus immediately spoke up. “I told you we didn’t have what you needed! Now let us go!”

“Right!” Sans added. “No bellies, no belly laughter, nothing you can do about it!”

“Oh no?” Dropwart’s smile returned slyly. “I can see those spines of yours aren’t too ticklish on their own … so maybe we can just fix that.”

She swiftly grabbed a hefty burlap bag off of the top shelf. Holding it open, Sans could see a sparkling pink substance on the inside. Immediately it reminded him of the fairies’ Tickle Dust and he started to panic.

“What…. What is that? What is that?! What are you doing?!” He pulled and pulled at his restraints. Despite knowing full well that he wasn’t going anywhere, fear completely overtook him and all of his actions.

Dropwart dipped the twisted black wand into the bag of sparkling powder and steadily swirled it around. When she pulled it back out, the wand was coated in the pink glittering powder. There was no doubt in the skeleton’s minds, she had her own special supply of the dangerous dust, and she was going to use it at full force.

She aimed the now sparkling wand at the brother’s midsections and gave it a gentle flick. The pink glittering substance flew from the tip of the wand and landed with an audible ‘POOF’ onto both of their spines.

Laughter exploded out of the skeletons, they could physically feel their bodies shake and jolt with every powerful inhale and exhale that pounded out of them. It was the strangest sensation feeling how immensely ticklish their spines had become, and with nothing there to even be tickling them no less.

While Papyrus had always struggled with how sensitive his spine was, as it was closest to his sweet spot, the sensation was all too new to Sans. Now it was on the same playing field as his underarms, and he absolutely hated it.

As the skeletons flopped around hysterically laughing in their bonds, Dropwart immediately grabbed the larger vial to collect the red and blue smoke that was practically flooding out of the brothers’ mouths. They opened their jaws to let out tearful screams of protest, but all that came out of them was more helpless laughter and more phosphorescent smoke. Dropwart took her sweet time filling up the vial, clearly relishing every moment of watching the poor skeletons writhe in ticklish agony. A look of sickening satisfaction spread across her face each time she heard one of them let out a strained squeal or a breathy cackle.

She loved this, being the cause of their delicious misery, and ultimately being the one that could put an end to it whenever it suited her. Such power looked to be just as intoxicating as the laughter she was forcing out of her victims. The red and blue smoke swirled around in the glass vial, mixing into a bright purple color. It was almost identical to the violet bubbling potion in the cauldron, though not quite exact.

Dropwart secured the cork onto the nearly overflowing vial of laughter, but didn't yet stop her spell on the brothers. Instead, she leaned forward, taking a deep and satisfying breath. The red and blue smoke traveled effortlessly up the nostrils of her long, lime green nose, and left her with an expression of unadulterated bliss. At last, she gave the wand another gentle flick, causing the Tickle Dust and all of its aftereffects to disappear with a 'POOF’!

Sans and Papyrus panted so hard they both started coughing due to the rapid inhales hitting the back of their throats. They wheezed and spluttered, desperately trying to regain their normal breathing again. Exhausted and anxious, they looked up to see Dropwart placing the purple vial next to the others, wasting no time grabbing the next one in line. There were only two left, and neither of them wanted to know what it took to extract the last two forms of laughter.

“These last two are most definitely my favorite part of the job,” she mused, playing with the second-to-last bottle in her hand.

By the devilish look in her eyes, the brothers could just tell that this was going to be very bad. She stood between the two of them, carefully looking each one up and down. Sans felt so exposed and vulnerable, knowing full well that she could see every inch of their tickle spots on full display. Finally, she stepped in front of Papyrus, causing the younger skeleton to shake with anxiety.

“I’ve had such fun watching you giggle and wriggle around!” Dropwart cooed, teasing Papyrus by tenderly tracing a finger down his skull and neck.

Papyrus whined and tried squirming away from her touch. Fury flashed in Sans’s gaze, watching his brother be toyed with this way. He knew better than to waste his energy struggling, but he couldn’t seem to help himself whenever Papyrus was at risk.

With another twirl of the wand, the pastel feathers that were still resting on the floor around them came back to life. They purposefully hovered over Papyrus as the younger skeleton let out a quiet whimper of fear. He flashed a desperate look at Dropwart as the witch spoke with a teasing tone again.

“That spot right there, is it? Where the hips meet the spine?”

Papyrus’s jaw dropped in horror, immediately he began to panic and fight against the ropes with everything he had. Dropwart grinned evilly, her suspicions confirmed by his reaction.

“NOOOOOO!! PLEASE!! PLEASE DON’T!!” Papyrus pleaded, tears already falling down his cheeks. “I’LL DO ANYTHING!! JUST PLEASE NOT THAT!!”

Sans in turn pulled even harder against the ropes, growling and grunting with frustration.

“Don’t you dare!” he threatened. “Don’t lay a single finger on him!!”

Dropwart only chuckled in reply. “Oh, you don’t need to worry about that, deary … that’s what these are for!”

With another flick of the wand, the large group of feathers danced and swirled and twirled around Papyrus’s secret sweet spot. The younger skeleton was immediately lost in a spasming fit of laughter, screaming, crying and thrashing. Completely hysterical and unable to utter a single cohesive word.

“NYAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! N-N-NAHAHAHAHA!!! AGH!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! STAHAHAHA…!! PL-PLE-AHAHAHAHAHA!!”

It didn’t take long for the red smoke to immediately start pouring out of his open mouth. Dropwart wasted no time funneling it into the large vial, Sans could see the label on the glass container read; ‘Hysterical’. The look of utter delight spread across Dropwart’s wicked expression, as she watched Papyrus struggle and suffer.

Sans pulled so hard, he could feel the rope burning into his bones. But he didn’t care, he had hoped with all of his might that witnessing Papyrus being tortured like this would be the motivation he finally needed to break out of the restraints. But even with his growing resentment towards their new kidnapper, it wasn’t enough to break free. Exhausted and hanging limp against the stake, he watched his brother hopelessly laugh and scream in unbearable ticklish agony.

“Let him GO!!” Sans growled over the sound of his brother’s hysteria.

“All in due time, deary.” Dropwart giggled, watching the vial fill up with Papyrus’s glowing laughter.

“Come … on!” Sans grunted, still struggling against the ropes. “Get off of him!! Don’t touch him, you ugly old crone!!”

In an instant, Dropwart’s face changed. The giddy smile across her face dropped to one of shock as she turned to give Sans a wide-eyed expression. At first, her change in demeanor startled the older skeleton, but he kept his gaze on her spiteful and steaming with hatred. He finally said something that got under her skin, he wasn’t about to take it back now.

As the vial filled to the brim, Dropwart kept her gaze on Sans as she placed the cork on top. Before giving her wand another wave and commanding the feathers to stop, her eyes narrowed to a disdainful expression towards Sans. She glared at him with an intensity that almost matched the one he had for her. As the feathers dropped to the ground again and the room was filled with the sound of Papyrus gasping and coughing for air, Dropwart faced Sans, her voice suddenly low and menacing.

“I think you will be the one to fill the last vial, then.”

Ordinarily, this would be the part where Dropwart would turn away to place the full vial on the table and retrieve another. But this time, as she gripped the glowing red container in her hands, she brought the feathers to life again with another flick of the wand.

In an instant, the pastel cluster of fluffy feathers dived under the back of Sans’s shirt, intruding in from the top of his collar. Just as he had feared, the intense group of feathers headed straight for the grooves of his back. They swished and twirled and brushed and dragged along his ultra-sensitive spot, tickling like mad.

“AAAAAAAGGHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAHAHA!! NAHAHAHAHA!!! AAAGH!!”

Sans didn’t even try to beg for mercy this time, he knew that this was just her petty revenge for calling her ugly. Bucking and thrashing his body around did nothing to deter the feathers from attacking his vulnerable spot. Tears flew in every direction as he cackled and screeched in total anguish.

To make matters worse, Dropwart didn’t even move to grab ahold of the final vial. She just stood there, evilly watching Sans writhe in ticklish agony with a glaring smirk across her face.

“This is what you get for being rude to your hostess, deary!” she cruelly taunted.

It took a solid minute before Papyrus regained enough breath to properly hold his head up straight. His breathing was still ragged and strained but was steadily returning to normal, at least until he saw Sans. Although he couldn’t see the feathers as they were perfectly hidden down his shirt, the way Sans was struggling combined with the look on his face told him everything.

“What…. What are you … doing?!” Papyrus tried to scream, but his body was too weak from breathing so hard. “You…. You already got … the worst spot … out of me!! L-Let him … go!”

“Oh yes, deary, I got the hysterical laughter from you,” Dropwart replied in a patronizing tone. “But from him, I think I’m gonna need something just a bit more pungent.”

She finally turned back towards the table to replace the full vial with an empty one, leaving poor Sans a laughing, screaming, crying mess. Tears flung in every direction as he rapidly shook his head. Nothing alleviated the flaring tingles that left his body absolutely wracked with laughter.

“Oh Sans….” Papyrus felt so helpless, standing there watching him suffer. More than anything he wanted to break out of the bonds to rescue his brother. Exactly how Sans had always tried to do for him.

It seemed to take forever before Dropwart returned with the empty vial. The minutes went by like hours for poor Sans. His throat was positively worn down and on fire from the shrieking laughter that tore from him. Surprisingly, it hadn’t yet manifested into smoke for Dropwart to collect. A horrified thought raced through the skeleton’s already dizzy mind. What if she needed to do even more to tickle him in addition to getting after his worst spot? If she aimed for any other spots like his feet or underarms, there was no way he could take it! This was already pushing him past the brink of insanity.

He tried to let out a terrified scream, but to his horror, nothing came out but a barely audible squeak. Dropwart looked on eagerly as Sans dissolved into silent laughter. It was so strained and so quiet, they could hear the dripping sound of Sans’s tears hitting the wooden floor.

“There it is,” Dropwart eagerly whispered.

Eventually something finally did spill out of Sans’s mouth, the phosphorescent blue smoke. This time it seemed to glow brighter than any form of laughter that had come out of the brothers before. Sans could only take short little inhalations before practically choking to cough out the quiet chortling.

Thankfully, once the vial was filled to the top with the glowing blue smoke, Dropwart waved her wand to finally put an end to the tickling feathers. Sans inhaled so deeply his bones began to shake. The lingering tingles of the feathers dropping from the back of his shirt caused leftover laughter to come pouring freely from his mouth. His body wracked with quiet sobs and still-bubbling chuckles that threatened to torture him even further.

“Shh, it’s okay Sans,” Papyrus gently comforted. “It’s over, everything’s gonna be okay.”

He wished more than anything that he could reach out to physically comfort him. Poor Sans was so exhausted and weak. Even the act of crying was too strenuous for him to take. Before Dropwart turned back to the table to complete her collection, Papyrus got a good look at the label of the last vial. It read; ‘Silent Laughter’.

With all seven glass vials filled to the brim with the glowing laughter, Dropwart giddily reached for the wooden spoon still resting in the cauldron of bubbling potion. One by one she added each container of laughter, watching the potion hiss and bubble with each new change to its formula. The echoes of the skeleton’s laughter reverberated off the walls of the cottage with every ingredient that was added.

Papyrus watched on in horror, fearful for what she was planning to do with that deadly-looking brew. Sans’s head still hung limply in place, though he was too exhausted to look up, he could still hear the sounds of the contained laughter as Dropwart added them to the mixture. The overly sweet smell of the potion once again overtook the cottage, the aroma was so strong that it almost made Sans sick to his nonexistent stomach.

After what felt like forever, Sans finally had enough strength to lift his head, his breathing slow and steady. He blinked the tears and blurriness from his sockets to see Dropwart pulling out the large wooden spoon from the cauldron. She had scooped up a small amount of the still steaming potion in the spoon. She gently blew cool air over it that immediately extinguished the steam. She gave the violet liquid a satisfied sniff before turning back to the exhausted skeletons.

“It’s ready,” she said eagerly. “Now who wants a taste?”

[shri-chyawan-ayurveda]

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[mixergiltron]

A double century.

Well,here we are folks,my two hundredth mixing. It's been a long journey,and I'd just like to pause for a moment to thank my poor liver,which has been by my side(well,actually in my side) through the whole ordeal with nary a complaint(unlike my head,which has complained a few times). For #200 I chose a drink from the famous Tiki-ti,an LA icon since 1961. Established by Ray Buhen,it's still open and still family owned. If you ever find yourself in the City of Angels,you should definitely make the pilgrimage here.

The drink is the infamous Puka Punch.

I say infamous because not only does it pack a punch,but it was described by a Reddit poster as one of the biggest pains in the butt he'd ever made due to the list of eleven ingredients. Of course this didn't put off your Uncle Giltron;I've survived multiple Zombies and the mighty Boo Loo,and my extensive inventory of mixers includes everything I needed. So without further ado,I present to you my two hundredth mixing. Enjoy!

Mix #200 Puka Punch

2oz light rum 1oz dark rum 1/2oz overproof rum 1oz orange juice 1oz pineapple juice 1/2oz lime juice 3/4oz passionfruit syrup 1/2oz honey syrup 1/2oz simple syrup 1/4oz falernum 2 dashes Angostura bitters

Shake everything except overproof rum with ice and pour into brandy snifter. Float overproof on top.

Very sweet,with honey in the body and a touch of spice in the finish. And with all that rum it's quite strong. For my rums I used Plantation 3 Star,Coruba,and Plantation OFTD. Lemon Hart 151 would've normally been my choice for an overproof float,but I decided to cut my liver and head a break on this one. Like the Boo Loo,this goes down real easy and the rum will sneak up on you if you're not careful. This is also not a drink you'd want more than one of,as all that rum and sweet will hang you over. But it's perfect if you're just sitting on the couch watching old black & white movies and want a nice buzz. It will improve the cheesy old special effects.

Hope you enjoy my bicentennial mixing. I'm sure I can find enough recipes to take this blog to 300,so stay tuned. Mahalo!

[theblackdahliaemporium]

Maple Tree Correspondence

Maple Tree Correspondence:

One can honor Maple Syrup in their kitchen witch recipes and rituals as a way of connecting with her energy.

Maple Lore:

 Maple trees are believed to repel demons and evil spirits. For protection it was customary in many houses to have a piece of a maple tree in the main door. Maple trees symbolize balance, offering, practical magic, promise, longevity, generosity, and intelligence. One reason behind these meanings is that maple trees can adapt to many different soil types and climates. Furthermore, it is an important tree in Celtic mythology. It was a tree consecrated to Dana, the Celtic goddess of fertility. It is also known as the tree of tolerance. In China, maple is associated with honor, and its leaves are a motif in Japanese ukiyo-e paintings representing love and autumn.

Maple trees are also associated with Virgo & Libra.

In Druidry if you’re born between the dates of April 11 - April 20; October 14 - October 23. You are known for a lively personality, a sense of humor, ability for deduction, analytical mind.

Maple is also the tree of offering, as it’s giving its sap, so that others can benefit. Therefore, it makes a great gift for the magical person in your life.

There are over 125 different species of the maple tree that are indigenous to Asia, Europe, North Africa, and the U.S. With the species interacting with so many different cultures over millennia, it’s attracted all kinds of myths, associations, and related magical properties.

Maple trees are mostly dioecious, meaning that there are both male and female trees. However, some species are polygamo-dioecious, carrying both male and female flowers on the same tree. They are therefore considered to resonate with both masculine and feminine energy.

Owls are commonly associated with the maple, because the tree itself represents the changing of the seasons, the natural cycle of death followed by rebirth, and wisdom accumulated over a lifetime. Under normal conditions, a maple tree lives between sixty and two hundred years.

Healing is strongly linked with maple trees, and many shamans and witches use a maple staff, wand, or the smoke of maple wood in healing. The inner bark can get used as:

An astringent to soothe sore or swollen eyes.

An infusion to treat stomach cramps and diarrhea.

A tea to treat coughs.

A concentration (infused with maple leaves) to detoxify the liver and spleen.

Kindness and compassion are other associations. Since the maple tree starts blooming in late winter or very early spring, it’s a feeder for pollen and leaf eaters when there’s not much nourishment available. It’s therefore associated with nurturing, purity, caring, and sharing.

Magical Properties of the Maple Tree

Apart from healing, many witches use maple wands and pendulums because it reveals options seen and unseen, broadening the intellect and acquiring knowledge. It also encourages peaceful communication making it excellent for use when doing spell work or readings that involve conflict resolution.

Because maple is a wood of caring, knowledge, and wisdom, it will guide you in making realistic and honest decisions and choices. It won’t do much for you if you use it for harm or rash outcomes, like quick luck or gambling.

Maple is Feminine in nature and associated with the moon & Jupiter and the elemental energies of water.

Maple is ideal for spells and rituals that involve abundance (with pure intentions), binding, beauty, cleansing, and love. You can use maple wood in your home to encourage love, harmony, and happiness.

Maple is useful in moon magic and in spells related to travel, learning, and decision-making, especially in matters related to bringing about or dealing with change. Maple is also useful in spiritual healing.

Maple Syrup can be used immensely in Kitchen Witchery.

Maple wood is excellent for wands, staffs, and maypoles.

The wisdom that maple brings into any situation makes it ideal for divination. If used for negative ends, maple is known to become a neutral energy. It tends to choose its companions, seeking people who are devoted and who have a strong sense of conviction and truth.

How do you know if maple is choosing you as a companion? You’ll be naturally drawn to the tree even if there aren’t any growing nearby. It will pop up in articles, books, and catalogues. A companion piece is anything that you keep nearby or with you all the time. Maple is a potent and loyal companion. Folklore/Symbolism

Strength and Wisdom- In Folklore, maple trees are associated with strength, endurance, and wisdom, often seen as sacred or auspicious.

Protection- Maple leaves have been used as protective talismans in various cultures, believed to ward off evil spirits and harm.

Connection to nature- Maple trees are regarded as symbols of nature’s beauty, resilience, and the changing seasons, especially in Autumn.

Maple at Risk

Unfortunately, sugar maples have seen quite a bit of decline due to logging of forests (they are slow growing, and faster growing trees, like birch, will often come up in their places after a forest is logged).  Sugar maples are also not very tolerant to pollution, including soil acidification and acid rain (this is mainly caused by automobiles). While they were once found in parks throughout the USA, with the rise of the automobile, these trees had a harder time surviving in urban areas.  Culpepper goes as far as calling this tree a “gentleman’s tree” as it was often found in urban parks.  The salt from roads also damages the tree’s root systems, contributing to its decline. This is not to say that the sugar maple is still not a dominant tree-it is.  You just need to get off the roads and out of the cities to see them.

Native American Lore

To understand the sugar maple in the Native American lore, I reviewed numerous legends–the sugar maple features prominently in their tales. Including my Husband, who is part Native American & Part Ecuadorian.

The maple as a gift that takes work. The maple was one of the only sources of sugar for the native peoples–as such it was seen as a gift from the creator.  While the maple is a gift, the native tales are clear that this gift takes work (in the form of collecting sap and boiling it down to make sugars). In Gluskabe Changes Maple Syrup, the Creator had originally had sap flow from maple trees as rich and as thick as honey–one needed only to break off a branch and the sap would flow out at any point of the year. However, Gluskabe, whose job it is to report back to the Creator, comes across a group of people who were fat and lazy, who abandoned their village and instead laid down in a maple grove sipping sap all day. Gluskabe was instructed to fill the maple trees with water each day for a full moon cycle, and now, people would have to work to have the sweetness of the maple and they would only have it for a short time in the spring to learn the error of their ways. At the end of the story, the people worked to turn the sap into sugar by burning cedar and making white birch buckets (using the magic of those two trees as well).  The work of the maple sugar is also found in the Senaca legend, Woman who Fell from the Sky, where the maple sap is changed to keep people from living too easy. In another legend, The Sugar Maple, the Sugar maple gets help from Woodpecker, who helps him by pulling out the grubs that are under maple’s bark.  Later, Woodpecker is dying of thirst during a drought, and Maple allows him to drink by pecking holes in the tree.

Maple as a delicacy. Maple sugar was seen as a delicacy by the Native Americans.  In several tales, babies appear sucking maple sugar.  In other tales, it is prepared as a drink with herbs.  In one Ojibwa legend, a maple syrup feast is mentioned.

Honoring the maple tree in ritual. To keep the maples producing the sap, Native Americans did maple ceremonies to ensure good sap harvests each year.  These were typically done right as the sap began to flow from the trees.  These ceremonies usually involved having everyone gather around the tree, addressing the tree in ritual language, and offering the tree tobacco incense.  This reminds me quite a bit of apple orchard wassailing.

Maple as a gentle tree. When talking sticks are made of maple, it is said to represent gentleness.

The Fiery Red Leaves of Maple represent blood. The reason that maples turn red in the fall can be explained by Chasing the Bear, where a long bear hunt ends with the hunters piling up sumac and maple branches and butchering the bear upon the branches.  In another version of this legend, “Hunting the Great Bear” reported by Hageneder, the long bear hunt happens each year.  The four brothers (who make up the constellation of the great bear) finally kill the bear and the bear’s blood falls from the sky and turns the maples red. This post was requested by: @jjatanywitchway

Sources:

The Druids Garden

Magickalspot.com

Wiccamagazine

Witchwood

The Green Witch- Murphy-Hiscock

[yamunapharmacy]

Ayurveda offers natural and effective solutions for common health concerns, focusing on restoring balance rather than just treating symptoms. Yamuna Pharmacy, a trusted name in Ayurveda, provides high-quality herbal formulations for joint pain, liver health, acidity relief, chronic cough, and blood purification. With time-tested remedies made from potent herbs, these Ayurvedic solutions ensure safe and long-term relief.

Explore the benefits of authentic Ayurvedic treatments today. Read the full article to learn more!

[drdemonprince]

#for ppl curious about the alternative:#so doctors in most places have an authoritative role. you have to proove youre trans and then they ALLOW you treatment.#but it doesnt have to be that way. im an upper middle class person in a major and very accepting canadian city.#my dr and i are basically PARTNERS in my healthcare. i can go in and say hey im having weird pain i want to see an obgyn.#and she's just like okay cool ill put you on the list to see one.#if i wanted to i could walk in or make an appointment rn and see her and ask for testosterone and she would#basically ask me if i know the risks etc and the process. id say yes (cause i do). and id start the process to receive T (u need blood#tests first) within a couple days.#but in more transphobic places or with shitty doctors that feel they have authority over you it doesnt work that way.#eg ive had psychiatrists where it wasnt like i walked in and they were like oh damn okay ur sick.#i had to work to PROOVE i was sick. (and one time got yelled at it sucks).#but i was eventually partnered with a psych who took a collaborative approach to medicine.#there are also ppl who argue it could be entirely OTC. like.. we have everyday access to dangerous drugs. if i wanted to rn i could#destroy my liver with 2 extra strength bottles of tylenol. in many places there r highly addictive drugs in cough syrup.#they sell bandage kits and stitching supplies.#people are ALREADY trusted to take care of their own healthcare to a point its not completely wild to make HRT otc or behind the counter#at the pharmacy.#i dont personally agree with hrt being that easily available bc a lot of people dont put the work into researching it#(not bc they are flippant. but bc they dont understand how 2 research or have the time/energy 2 to rserch.) so its better imo to keep it#at least behind the counter at the pharmacy

Thank you for adding! We gotta stop leaving such gold in the tags now that tumblr makes them hard to see! lots of people should read this addition.

Imagine a world where homosexuality was still in the DSM but society had moved gradually toward some moderate acceptance of queer people, but only with the understanding that we are sick and that leading out our queer lives is medically necessary for us. in this paradigm, a person would have to get diagnosed with homosexuality by a psychiatrist in order to be permitted to have gay sex

this is basically the reality that trans people are living in right now. and that's for those of us that are lucky enough to live in a place where we *are* allowed to lead out trans lives once we get gender dysphoria written down in our medical charts

[sarabherbs]

Ayurvedic Benefits for Modern Wellness

In today’s fast-paced, high-stress lifestyle, people are constantly seeking ways to maintain optimal health, improve their immunity, detoxify naturally, and support bodily functions without unwanted side effects. While modern medicine provides acute care and symptomatic relief, there is a rising shift towards plant-based solutions that promote internal balance and holistic well-being.

Herbal and natural formulations are time-tested, rich in traditional wisdom, and tailored to support specific health concerns—from liver health and respiratory detox to immunity enhancement and reproductive wellness. In this article, we explore the modern health benefits of six powerful herbal formulations: Uteroelite Syrup, VacuLiv-4G, UrjaShakti Syrup, Papgoat Syrup, VacuLiv Syrup, and VacuLung®.

1. Uteroelite Syrup – Natural Support for Women’s Health

Reproductive health is foundational to women’s overall wellness. Hormonal imbalances, irregular cycles, discomfort during menstruation, and issues related to fertility or menopause are common concerns in today’s world.

Uteroelite Syrupis a herbal tonic designed to regulate and support the female reproductive system. It helps balance hormonal functions, supports the endometrium, and promotes regular menstrual cycles without synthetic hormones. Women experiencing symptoms like irregular periods, heavy bleeding, lower abdominal pain, or fatigue due to hormonal imbalances have found great support in Uteroelite Syrup.

Key Benefits:

Promotes regular menstrual cycles

Eases menstrual cramps and discomfort

Supports fertility health

Strengthens uterine tissues

Reduces fatigue and emotional distress associated with hormonal fluctuations

Its ingredients are traditionally known to nourish the reproductive system, strengthen immunity, and support overall vitality in women.

2. VacuLiv-4G – Comprehensive Digestive and Liver Wellness

Poor diet, environmental toxins, medications, and stress can burden the liver and digestive system, leading to symptoms like indigestion, acidity, bloating, and fatigue.

VacuLiv-4G is a multi-action syrup formulated to support the liver, act as an antacid, promote digestive enzyme activity, and regulate acid-alkaline balance. It combines four major health actions in one bottle: Liver protective, Alkaliser, Enzymatic support, and Antacid.

Key Benefits:

Detoxifies and protects the liver

Enhances digestion and nutrient absorption

Reduces acidity and heartburn

Maintains gut health and reduces bloating

Balances acid-alkaline levels

This formula is ideal for people dealing with indigestion, liver sluggishness, or excessive use of fatty/spicy foods, alcohol, or medications.

3. UrjaShakti Syrup – Energy and Immunity Booster

Modern living often leads to fatigue, low stamina, and compromised immunity. Whether it’s pollution, work-related stress, or lack of sleep, the body’s natural energy and immune defenses need reinforcement.

UrjaShakti Syrup is a plant-based energy and immunity tonic that helps rejuvenate the body and enhance resistance to infections. It supports natural vitality, improves oxygenation, and boosts the defense mechanism without overstimulating the system.

Key Benefits:

Boosts natural energy levels

Improves mental and physical stamina

Enhances immunity

Reduces weakness and exhaustion

Strengthens resilience against infections

UrjaShakti is suitable for adults, children, and the elderly, especially during seasonal changes or recovery periods.

4. Papgoat Syrup – Platelet and Immunity Support in Dengue

Infections like dengue can dangerously lower platelet count, leading to complications such as internal bleeding, weakness, and delayed recovery. Natural support during such illnesses plays a crucial role in speeding up healing.

Papgoat Syrup is a well-known herbal formulation developed to increase platelet count naturally and strengthen immunity during viral fevers, particularly dengue. Enriched with powerful leaf and fruit extracts known for their ability to support blood health, Papgoat helps reduce the risk of complications.

Key Benefits:

Helps increase platelet count

Supports faster recovery in dengue fever

Boosts immune function

Improves blood circulation and oxygenation

Supports detoxification during infections

Backed by traditional use and modern demand, Papgoat is becoming a trusted companion in managing seasonal fevers naturally.

Reference: Jantan, I., Ahmad, W., & Bukhari, S. N. (2015). Plant-based immunomodulators: An overview of natural immune boosters. Journal of Ethnopharmacology, 175, 576–589.

5. VacuLiv Syrup – Liver Corrective and Detox Support

The liver is the body’s primary detox organ, filtering toxins from food, medicines, and the environment. A compromised liver can lead to symptoms like skin problems, fatigue, bad breath, and poor digestion.

VacuLiv Syrup is a liver corrective formulation that promotes detoxification, supports liver cell regeneration, and helps relieve symptoms of liver overload. Whether it’s fatty liver, sluggish digestion, or general body heaviness, VacuLiv supports the body in flushing out accumulated toxins.

Key Benefits:

Promotes natural liver detoxification

Supports liver cell repair and protection

Aids in relieving indigestion and constipation

Enhances appetite and metabolism

Reduces toxins in the body naturally

It is suitable for daily use as a preventive liver tonic or during times of high toxic exposure.

6. VacuLung® – Lung Detox for Polluted Environments and Smokers

Air pollution, passive smoke, and chemical exposure are now a daily reality for millions of people. These toxins accumulate in the lungs and can lead to coughing, breathlessness, chest heaviness, and long-term respiratory complications.

VacuLung® is a tar-cleaning, toxin-flushing formulation specifically made to protect and purify the lungs. It is especially beneficial for smokers, people living in polluted cities, and individuals with occupational exposure to dust or chemicals.

Key Benefits:

Helps remove tar deposits and airborne toxins

Clears bronchial passages and improves breathing

Reduces coughing and breathlessness

Supports respiratory cell rejuvenation

Strengthens natural lung defenses

VacuLung® is a game-changer for those wanting to breathe freely again in a polluted world.

Reference: Kumar, R., & Nagarathna, R. (2018). Natural interventions for pollution-induced respiratory disorders. Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 24(3), 217–223.

Modern Health Meets Ancient Wisdom

Each of the above formulations is designed to provide targeted, plant-based support for critical organ systems. Whether it’s reproductive health, liver function, immune resilience, or respiratory detox, these products deliver a gentle yet effective solution without the burden of synthetic chemicals or dependency.

What sets them apart is their alignment with the body's natural processes, working synergistically to restore balance, enhance vitality, and prevent health breakdowns before they occur.

Bottom Line

SarabHerbs® – Trusted Wellness Naturally

In a world increasingly seeking safe, plant-driven solutions to complex health issues, SarabHerbs® stands out as a pioneer in offering time-tested herbal formulations for modern wellness. With a deep commitment to quality, tradition, and scientific validation, the brand delivers products that bridge the gap between ancient healing practices and present-day health needs. Whether you're managing daily stress, recovering from illness, or simply investing in long-term wellness, SarabHerbs® products like Uteroelite, VacuLiv-4G, UrjaShakti, Papgoat, VacuLiv, and VacuLung® are designed to support you naturally at every step of your health journey.

[gigglegangster]

Drink review for today is my coffee. It’s nothing really fancy, but that was my drink for today and I haven’t done drink reviews in a while, and I don’t do these for any particular audience but who knows maybe someone will like it.

I’m especially happy today because I finally have the coffee grounds I like (we ran out, I had to make do without something I take for granted.) House blend Nescafé instant coffee, 3 tbsp, like 6 ml-ish of water? 8? And fill the rest of the cup with whole milk, then I put in Torani caramel syrup measured to my heart’s content. I carry it in my pocket, because miraculously my pockets are big enough to fit all 16 ounces. Some people just prefer carrying it in their hands, like today, a friend stumbled through crushing her booze clenched in her fist. It was a beat-box, if you care to know. It’s like fruit punch? Very sweet, you can hardly tell it’s liquor. Strong though. That’s her preferred drink of choice for a Tuesday afternoon, and that’s alright, I can’t sit here and pretend to write that I know what beverage is the best or how to optimize living, and we all get by somehow. There’s no drink or no story i can tell that’ll tell you what it means to be human (a phrase I love, and I never have expanded on) or the human condition, some people use those two phrases interchangeably, I will not; I don’t think human is defined by their ailments. I can’t tell you what it means to be human. Everyone has their motto, everyone has their preference of drink. My uncle, whenever he could, liked to say “Pain is good. Extreme pain is extremely good.” He’d say it while spinning a shot-glass in his hand, and the Smirnoff dances around the edges of the glass and droplets land over his table. His liver gave out a few months after he said that to me, and he died from sepsis in the hospital, but that was how he lived his life. He drank at least half the bottle a day without a chaser, I’m sure it had to have burnt like hell down his throat, but for him it was, like he’d phrase, extremely good. My coffee is bitter enough to where you know it’s actual coffee, I don’t put in sugar but the caramel in it is sweet enough with a butterscotch aftertaste (that might just be me though!) I don’t measure out the ingredients well, I don’t have clear directions for you, I don’t have the answers of life or the wisdom to point you there, but making good coffee is something you just learn over time and trying again and again and again and over and over, it’s mundane and it’s something I take for granted sometimes, a good cup of coffee, because it’s hard to enjoy that when you have Death knocking at your door. He has very heavy fists, it startles you, and the bird perching and chirping by the window flies off. It’s in their nature to fly away when they’re startled, of course, but we’re predators. We’re predators and social creatures, everything we do is in conflict with ourselves. It’s hard to fight something you can’t grab at, you can’t hold through your fingers and rub skin with. I don’t have a cure for the human condition, I can’t tell you what it means to be human for yourself, but I feel human enough when the adrenaline wears out and I can sit by my friend’s bed, my back to the wall (it’s for safety, no predators can reach while I’m in the corner, but isn’t it worse to be cornered? I haven’t figured that one out yet either.) I feel human enough when your fingers tangle up with mine, which, my hands are very repulsive. The skin is flaking again, it’s blistering up, it’s dry and clammy, it happens a lot whenever I get too stressed out. We’ve evolved to feel disgust at indicators of poor health, so theoretically, you should be disgusted by my hands (for whatever reason you’ve pushed that response away.) I can’t define for you or for anyone else what it means to be human. I’m not a philosopher, I’m not a theorist, I’m not an author or someone who even has the right to. I can’t even tell you how to make my coffee. You’re gonna have to come over to my house and taste for yourself.

Anyways, I’m giving it a 10/10

[medoxcapharma]

Protect Your Liver, Stay Healthy! 🌿💚

Excess alcohol and toxins can damage your liver, leading to fatty liver and other health issues. Livfyn Syrup helps detox, strengthen, and protect your liver naturally. Stay hydrated, eat right, and support your liver with herbal care! 🍃✨

[luminousbeingxo]

Caring for your body on a budget 🤍

- Potato's/ Sweet potato's

- (Grassfed) Ground beef

- (Raw) Milk

- Scrappy / gelatinous cuts of meat. Think "forgotten cuts". (You can go to a butcher and ask if they've got any pieces/bones they are discarding, often times they'll give them to you for free!) You can make stews and store them in the freezer and/or fridge.

- Natural sugars- pure fruit juice, raw honey, maple syrup, pure white sugar

- Coffee

- Coconut oil

- (Pasture raised) Eggs

- Liver 1-2x a week (ensure it's quality liver)

- Raw Carrot (salad)

- Canned fish

- Red screen pm (bonus if you can get some authentic blue light blocking glasses)

- Sunlight

- Watch the sunrise and sunset

- Touching the earth

- Hugs and kisses from loved ones

- Long walks (in the sun)