#Swiss needs to stop

[batb1mb0]

Dinner time in the ghoul den

Phantom: I hope you like tonight’s dinner!*serves under cooked pasta*

Dew: uhh…it looks lovely

Mountain: you’re not gonna tell him?

Dew: I don’t—

Swiss: *loudly crunches the raw pasta*

Dew: —have the heart to tell him…

[artzy-ghoul]

Look at how smiley my wife is!

[iamthecomet]

this but also. sensitive base of the tail + wrapping it around top's arm. Would be insane with Dew I think. imagine him whipping his tail around when he's bottoming and absolutely keening when someone grabs it (he can act tough all he wants but *Shakira voice* tails don't lie)

gODDDD. gOD DON'T GET ME STARTED ON TAILS. Look, I forget tails exist 97% of the time when I'm writing, but I am still a slut for someone getting fucked and having whoever is topping manhandle it out of the way. Or, you know stroking it, spitting on it, using it as leverage, all the tail things. FUCK. But also--god getting it tied up like that? connected to the wrists? Christ. I see your Dew, but I raise you Swiss. Swiss who likes to use his tail to his advantage whether he's topping or bottoming. Swiss who is always calculating, always thinking about ways he can fuck with the power dynamic. And then, think about Rain. Grabbing on and holding tight. Exposing Swiss. Binding that tail up and out of the way. Finally, for once, rendering Swiss absolutely useless beneath him. Satanas, you just know Swiss gets off so much on being bullied into full submission.

[chapel-of-rizztual]

Seriously what the fuck is wrong with Swiss?

[horsemage]

Not my mom trying to shame me for enjoying sugary foods when I’m don’t typically even enjoy sweets 🙄

[unopenablebox]

literally why do i ever buy a burger. We Have Burgers At Home. They Are Nicer

[jtbb]

this adhd shit is so scary i genuinely feel like i don't have free will atp

[peanutbutter-doodles]

Bibbity bobbity i’m having thoughts about Rain and there not holy

[shutinlear53]

Yeah I'm pan, because my Swiss cheese heart is rated E for Everyone 💗💛💙

[batb1mb0]

The ghouls are playing Minecraft

Dew: alright we our base made, Mountain has the garden built…Swiss do you have our villager trading post built yet?

Swiss: you mean our enslaved people? Yup! :)

Dew: dude…

Mountain: no no…he’s got a point…

[wtfuckevenknows]

How tall exactly is that tomato trying to grow?!

[survivinginthejungle]

This barbie is so fucking done with people simplifying today's geopolitical scenario in 2/3 nationalities and claiming one to be the evil hand that tries to control the global economy/geography. Like have you people stop to think for a moment that maybe capitalism oversteps borders? That the political ideologies you blame/defend don't end at the border of a country. You think it's the US who wants to influence Europe? It is. You think Russia is entering an indipendent country? It is. Those concepts do coexist. There's not one good government that i can think about that only thinks about the good of their people. There's no financial institution that plays fair. There are no innocent multinationals. You are trying to trace a line between good and evil but if there's one it doesn't depend on nationalities.

[bunnys-kisses]

how can i take your order? all you have to do is pick a dessert, drink and driver/character of your choosing! are you in the mood for a mille-feuille or a big slice of chocolate cake! please, please, please indicate who you want me to write about!!

the servers are from the following: formula one, call of duty, baldur's gate 3, haikyuu, one piece, jujustu kaisen, detective comics (dc), marvel comics (but i am open to any other fandoms you might have in mind! please do not hesitate to ask!!)

i do also accept polyam relationships! (pairing + reader), up to about four people! just to make it manageable on my end!

all orders can be made to the inbox for @bunnys-kisses and i'll get your order together asap! also let me know if you want it extra sweet or a little more spicy !

mille-feuille: “that’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl.”

butter tart: "let's ruin ourselves for anyone else."

sugar pie: “gonna let daddy hear ya?”

zebra cake: "well, what do we have here?"

carrot cake: "swallow it. all of it."

millionaire shortcake: "if they saw you now, you'd be the biggest shame to your family."

pots de crème: "if a picture is worth a thousand words, then i could probably get a million dollars for this photo."

oat flapjacks: "i'm not scared of you."

persian rolls: "it's mandatory i finish. you getting to finish is a treat."

spice pie: "i didn't know it was possible to be a liar and a slut."

mushroom pie: "if you don't shut up. i'm going to shut you up."

lemon slice: "i'm sorry, what was that? i can’t hear you over all that noise you’re making."

swiss roll: "everything you own, everything you wear i paid for. so i guess that means i own you."

pumpkin pie: "i've met strays who were more obedient."

pastry braid: "your job is to make me cum. now get to work."

sausage roll: "i wonder how much i could get for photos of this cunt."

pithivier: "if you don't behave, i'll let the boys take care of you."

tiramisu: “my little slut to ruin.”

sponge toffee: "aw, is someone mad that they can only cum because of me?"

pull-apart bread: "i love you"

powered sugar donuts: "marry me."

blueberry bars: “gonna make you a mamma and you're gonna make me a daddy.”

pudding chomeur: "i don't share."

ice cream bars: “did you see the way he was eyeing you? he need to know you're mine."

chocolate cake: "do you feel that? that's what happens when i think about you all day."

soufflé: "i'll be gentle."

fried dough: "i know virginity is a stupid concept... but i want to take yours."

apple pie: "now be good and beg. thank you."

vanilla cheesecake: "where are your manners?"

berry trifle: "wrong. try again."

maple cream pie: "either you wear the necklace with my name on it, or wear my bruises around your neck."

s'more: "The accent gets to you, doesn't it?"

belgian waffles: "i cum in that every night."

pancakes: "if you bite me. i'll bite you back."

loaf of whole wheat bread: "you're going to shut that mouth and take me."

jos louis: "does someone need a daddy?"

maple taffy: "oh my god you're stupid."

snowballs: "don't worry, drug tests aren't till next week."

shortbread cookies: "and who does this belong to?"

flan: "i'm not possessive... i'm obsessive."

peach cake: "if you spill a drop, we start all over."

angel food cake: "if he fucks with me again, i'm finishing inside of you."

red velvet cupcake: "if you don't like being called a whore, then stop acting like one."

mince pie: "i'm not jealous."

banana bread: "i'm going to fuck that sweet pussy of yours until the only word your little brain can form is my name."

crumb cake: "if you just listened, all of this could've been avoided."

chocolate chip cookies: "you're beautiful when you smile, but you're the prettiest when my cock is in your throat"

nanaimo bars: "who's my pretty girl? c'mon say it."

coffee cake: "knees. now."

sourdough bread: "i'm going to breed you."

blueberry muffins: "i don't think it'll fit."

pound cake with strawberries: "you know i hate going over rules, but just because i like seeing you embarrassed, i'll tell you them again."

croissant: "i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me."

crepe: "pretty girl."

french toast: "you're trying to make me jealous!"

churros: "if you don't shut that little mouth of yours, i will stuff it full. okay?"

shortbread squares: "you're just mad that that my cock fits perfectly in you now. must be a blow to the ego that we're a perfect match."

savory pastry: "let your brother find out."

sweet pastry: "i'll make it all better."

eclairs: "the family's precious little girl. under me like a slut."

boston cream pie: "yeah, i'll use protection."

bagel: “gonna paint you with my teeth.”

crostata: “stupid slut, this is what you wanted huh? wanted me to fuck you like i hate you.”

tres leches: "i wonder if your brother know i cum in you."

peanut butter bars: “scratch me, bite me, just mark me sweetheart. show them I’m yours.”

eton mess: "be careful. your breath smells like cum."

scones: "but what if they see us!"

english muffin: "aw, is someone crying?"

honey cruller: "i forget how small you are sometimes."

banana split: "don't look at me like that."

beer brownies: "stick your tongue out anymore and you'll look like a dog."

fudge: "your father is pissing me off."

sticky toffee pudding: "the only way this is ending is you getting pregnant."

hot cross buns: "don't hide your face from me. i'd hate to have to tie you up."

brownies: "you're so much more agreeable when you have something to occupy that mouth of yours."

chocolate mousse: "the only necklace you need is my hand around your throat"

tim bits: "stupid little thing."

fruitcake: "i'll make tonight special."

cornmeal muffin: "i need you most."

devil's food cake: "you're my most unhealthy obsession."

crème caramel: "oh. you thought you were getting away from me?"

banana & chocolate muffins: "i'm only doing this because you need to learn how to behave, rules are rules, and you need to follow them."

custard tart: "i've never done this before."

cinnamon rolls: "no one needs to know."

mango sorbet: "you are by far the dumbest thing i've ever fucked. how did they even let you graduate?"

date squares: "you look better with my marks on you."

figgy duff: "if i buy it, will you stop pouting?"

spicy upside down cake: "let's play a game: don't get caught."

cream puffs: "let me finish inside."

profiteroles: "come away with me. for a week, together. anywhere you want, we'll go."

with a side of:

coffee: rivals

tea: semi-public/public sex

juice: cockwarming

mocha coffee: breeding kink

bubble tea: daddy kink

a vodka shot: rough sex

sparkling water: gentle sex

coconut water: alternate universe

energy drink: doggy style

champagne: sugar daddy situation

hard lemonade: possessive behaviour

espresso shot: dirty talking

a glass of wine: cowgirl position

ice capp coffee: werewolf au

bloody mary: vampire au

martini: mafia au

frozen latte: dumbification

frozen lemonade: consensual non-consent

cranberry juice: mean!character

glass of water: aftercare

chocolate milk: tenderness

milkshake: size kink

pina colada: pregnancy

cider: body worship

mai tai: loss of virginity

margarita: unprotected sex

mint julep: punishments

chai: biting/hickies

earl grey: big cock

fishbowl cocktail: protected sex

tonic water: age gap

matcha latte: collars/bondage

root beer: filming/recording

soda: jealousy

americano: oral sex

whisky: degrading language

vitamin water: dom/sub dynamic

irish coffee: high sex

sangria: drunk sex

dark roast coffee: sub!character

dark hot chocolate: sub!reader

iced tea: accidentally launching relationship

lemon water: university/college au

naked & famous: bimbo/ditzy!reader

on the house: author's choice!

ORDER UP!

[wileys-russo]

Alessia Russo, "i want you, nobody else" at a party

prized cow II a.russo

"what about her? or him? or her? or her? or him?" you rolled your eyes at the younger girls insistent pointing, smacking her hand down and shaking your head.

"none of them?" vic gasped in shock, two drinks too many having her squinting up at you as you couldn't help but chuckle. "no shock you're single mate, standards are too high." kyra added on with a tut as you shoved her where you were stuck sat between them.

"its not them-" "-its you!" kyra and vic chimed out in sync, sharing a look and bursting out laughing causing your cheeks to heat up bright red. "shut up! i'm not that predictable. am i?" you mumbled, necking your drink as the dutch beside you patted your leg.

"you are." both of them spoke in sync again, their loud rambunctious laughter having you wince, thankfully drowned out by the thundering bass pumping in the club you'd all met up at for katies birthday.

thing one and thing two still continuing on their mission to hook you up with a stranger, something you'd long given up begging them to stop, you caught lia's eye across the room as she glanced over, giving her a pleading look which had her lips curling in amusement.

"you two!" the girls beside you fell silent as the swiss appeared, giving them a stern look and pointing her thumb behind her, how quickly vic and kyra cleared off making you grin as lia replaced them sitting beside you.

"what is wrong hm? you have been sat here all night!" lia questioned as you snaked a mouthful of her drink before she snatched it away. "i have not! i was dancing with your girlfriend and laia just ten minutes ago. the girlfriend you haven't even told half the team about!" you teased as she gave you a look.

"stop deflecting." "i am not!"

another look.

"fine. i'm just sick of everyone trying to set me up with someone, why won't they just mind their own business and leave my love life to me?" you huffed moodily, crossing one leg over the other and exhaling.

"they're just trying to help-" "i don't need help! i'm happy, i am." you pushed with a frown, lia slinging an arm over you as you sighed and leaned into her.

"i will have a word to the girls about backing off." the older girl murmured, pinching your cheek as a small smile crept back onto your face. "thank you." you gave her a side hug, a sense of relief beginning to settle in.

"besides. i already told you, ana is single!" you leapt away from the swiss with a grimace on your face. "lia!" you huffed in betrayal as she grinned, downing the last of her drink.

"only joking." she assured patting your knee and starting to stand to head over to the bar. "you are not her type anyway!" the swiss winked, disappearing to grab another drink as you shouted after her and flipped her off.

catching kyra and vic speaking to rosa you noticed all three seemed to be trying to sneak glances over to you, and not wanting to wait around and see what they were plotting you quickly stood and made a beeline toward the bathroom.

once inside you exhaled heavily, the moment the door slammed behind you the quiet that followed much needed to help you clear your head as you started toward the sink.

before you could even take another breath the door banged open again, a blonde blur zooming through and slamming it closed after herself as bright blue eyes met yours.

"hi." "hi."

you couldn't help but smile as you noticed the slight blush on her cheeks, the same you could feel creeping up the back of your neck as she stepped closer.

"i feel like i haven't seen you all night." alessia pondered, her fingers nudging yours where your arm by your side and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel the bolts of electricity which shot up at your arm at her touch.

"i've been avoiding you." you spoke bluntly, her face falling before she noticed your grin and her eyes rolled. "hilarious." she muttered sarcastically, shoving you and smiling down at the floor as the pair of you stood side by side leant against the sink.

"has kyra been bothering you?" alessia questioned softly, and you could feel her concerned gaze pan over the side of your face but as soon as you turned to look back at her it was trained to the floor again.

"jealous?" you smiled softly, bumping your shoulder gently into hers, your fingers now brushing against hers where your hands hung side by side, pinkies slowly intertwining making butterflies flutter in your stomach.

"no!" alessia answered quickly, the two of you finally sharing a look and a grin before returning your gazes to the tiled floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the room.

"she's been trying to sell me off like a prized cow, vic too." you chuckled, the electricity bolts returning as alessia now properly took your hand in hers.

"well now i'm jealous." alessia admitted quietly though you didn't miss the way her lips curled upward. "should be, i'm worth a fair bit of money russo." you teased softly, squeezing her hand and bumping your hip into hers again.

"oh i know. who went shopping with you yesterday?" alessia challenged looking up as you scoffed. "i told you i would pay for my own stuff! but you-" you started to argue, a laugh and a pair of very familiar lips shutting you up as they pressed against yours.

"we could just tell them about us." you were again caught off guard by the words that followed, alessia's taller form caging you in against the counter you were pressed against, pulling away and speaking up.

"i thought you weren't ready yet? there's no pressure less, i know i said that stuff about kyra but-" again, cut off with pale pink lips moving against yours.

"well i've been thinking about it and we could start with just a few of our close friends, our parents have kept it hush." your girlfriend mused making you smile, her hand dropping yours as they both settled on your hips, yours winding around her neck.

"our friends mouths are much bigger than our families." you reminded with a snicker of amusement making the blonde chuckle. "well we have to start somewhere, and i think i'm ready. if you are!" alessia clarified quickly, worry flickering momentarily through her eyes as you nodded.

"i am. this is still...new, but i like it." you assured with a nod, pecking her lips twice and enjoying the way the tips of her ears reddened.

"new? babe its been two months!" alessia laughed as you rolled your eyes which flickered to the door as you thought you heard it open but it stayed closed.

"maybe, but its your first time dating a girl!" you reminded poking her nose as she rolled her eyes but nodded, unable to argue the fact that all of this had indeed been something new for the pair of you.

"well i am ready, at least for a few of the girls to know. i want you, nobody else." alessia assured as you blushed and she beamed, kissing your flushed cheeks.

"and then maybe they'll stop trying to sell you off like a prized cow." your girlfriend teased as you gasped, opening your mouth to tell her off but once more your words were swallowed by her lips locking with yours.

"you can't just kiss me to shut me up whenever you want you know?" "oh no? watch me."

[twizzie-lairs]

My Darling, My Honey

Alastor X Fem!Reader (Part 7)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Quick Notes:

You, the reader who is an artist, and had become Alastor's sweetheart, have just died.

Alastor is about to find out.

Part 7:

The sound of a singular gunshot rang clearly in the night that had been so peacefully quiet up until that moment in time.

Alastor, with the engagement ring in his pocket, who had been peacefully reading a novel within the confines of your shared home, nearly ripped his book in half upon hearing the sound of a gunshot in these woods.

The forest around here was part of his private property, anyone who dared to trespass or hunt in his neck of the woods was shot on sight. Many people ignored the plentiful and very obvious warning signs, so it wasn't his fault so many people ended up becoming your and his meals. Everyone else just thought the law didn't apply to them, straight-up criminals. In his eyes, they all deserved it.

Thinking it was just another nuisance, a "tsk" left Alastor's mouth as he grabbed his shotgun and headed into the woods.

After a few minutes of walking, he finally caught sight of the transgressors. Two men that he, unfortunately, recognized right away as the men from the bar who liked to push his buttons by harassing you.

The seething rage pooled in his core, bubbling up into his chest. This was his chance to get rid of those nuisances once and for all.

They would trouble his darling no more.

For him to get into a better position to take the men out, he crouched down and quietly circled around them like a hunter playing with his prey.

After circling around to position himself behind the men, what he wasn't expecting to see was the most nightmarish sight he's ever seen.

His beloved sweetheart, soon to be betrothed, all disheveled and tied up against a blood-splattered tree with a bullet lodged in the middle of their forehead.

Your eyes were lifeless. There was no doubt about it, the love of his life was dead.

Alastor didn't need to even think before pulling the trigger on the men, shooting one after the other, over and over, even after their bodies had hit the ground.

He. Was. Enraged.

By the time Alastor was done with them, they looked like Swiss cheese, barely strung together.

Alastor's breath was heavy, his chest heaving, near hyperventilating, his eyes were enlarged and his mind was focused on one thing. You.

His beautiful love, he couldn't bear to see you in this state.

In his oddly manic and shocked state, he untied you from the tree and took your body back to your shared home in the woods not too far from here.

For a few moments, his rage was replaced by sorrow and mourning as he buried you in the backyard. As fucked up as he was in the head sometimes, he would rather die than think about eating you. You were sacred to him.

As he laid you down into the ground, he embraced you once last time and took the ring out of his pocket. He placed the ring onto your ring finger and kissed the top of your hand, "In life and in death, I am forever yours, as you are forever mine. I love you, dear."

After you were buried, the rage returned like a vicious tsunami. Oh he wasn't done with revenge just yet.

Every single man or woman that ever mistreated you or offended you, was put on his list.

This night was the catalyst that gave birth to the serial killer known as the "Bayou Killer".

Alastor stopped visiting Mimzy's bar since your death, with his sole focus and dedication in life going to hunting down those that had harmed you in life. After all, they deserved it, you were like an angel to him.

But what Alastor didn't stop doing, was broadcasting his radio show. So many of his connections were made because of his show, so it was a valuable resource to keep active, to use to his advantage.

Alastor continued living his life like this until every single name was crossed off his list.

It was then that it was time for his luck to run out.

Right upon the killing the very last person on the list, was Alastor also shot right square in the forehead.

Before his consciousness faded into black, all he could hear was the muffled panic of a stranger who seemed to be apologizing for mistaking him for some sort of animal.

All Alastor could do was chuckle at the irony of the whole situation, the maniacal laughter was the type that only a madman could produce- before everything went dark and he died.

He thought he would never see you again, because surely, his beloved sweetheart would end up in heaven right?

The answer to this would remain a mystery for many decades to come as Alastor descended into Hell and became who is now widely known in Hell as "The Radio Demon".

-> Part 8

[enwoso]

Speaking of forhead kisses... maybe something for lia wälti? Maybe her and r are not yet dating or havn't been dating for long and lia accidently finds out that she is readers phone background

SURPRISE — lia wälti

another day, another lil blurb. found this right deep in the drafts half written. i need to stop starting to write something and then not finishing it until weeks months later.

masterlist

you and lia were the new couple on the block, you’d only just started dating a few months ago. so everything was still pretty new, finding out new habits the other had. to say the least there had been a lot of firsts that had happened in your relationship on the last coming weeks.

you were sat together on the team coach on the way to an away fixture. you and lia talking amongst yourselves as you leant your head on her shoulder. you hands interlocked as a series played through a headphone you both had in each ear.

“oh! i forgot i was meant to show you this, this morning” you burst up scrambling around in your seat for you phone remembering that you had seen a certain fan edit on instagram that you had saved and wanted to show your girlfriend.

lia slightly taken back by your sudden movements but let you carry on as she sat watching you with a timid smile on her face, making sure to press pause on the series knowing you would just whine and ask her to rewind it so you could watch the minutes you’d missed.

finally found you phone, you asked lia to hold it while you got yourself back into a comfy position in the seat. but as lia was holding it the screen flashes on, lia glancing at it but her eyes catch something else.

your lock screen. it was of the two of you the night she had asked you to be her girlfriend. a photo so simple as her kissing your cheek. something lia hadn’t seen yet, because you hadn’t told her in fear she may think you were moving too fast.

lia felt her heart get bigger as the love for you seemed to grow more and more each day. a loving smile appearing on the swiss’ face as you asked your girlfriend for your phone back although lia too wrapped in her own thoughts never heard you.

“lia? baby? can i have my-“ you paused turning your head back to lia, pausing for a second realising what the brunette was looking at.

“i- um.. you weren’t supposed-“ you rattled off quickly, taking your phone out of your girlfriends hands. your eyes going straight to look at your lap, not knowing what to say, or even how she would react. would she find it cringe?

“no, babe. it’s cute i love it” lia gushed as you slowly lifted your eyes back up to meet your girlfriend. your mood perking back up which had fell flat momentarily.

you blushed as you felt the heat on your cheeks heating up, but lia’s smile just got bigger as she leaned forward to pepper kisses all across your face as light giggled left your lips.

“and i love you”