#Sure its not true acceptance but if they leave you the fuck alone then its a win in my books

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

Despite Muro & Cecio both putting a lot of effort and thought into passing [for safety reasons] they are also shite at giving advice about it to anyone else. Bc Muros advice is have a 6 ft 3 jacked mum with strong ass genes & get enough muscle mass that ppl think your tits are just pecs and Cecios advice is the same and also that the social power that seems to be held in a mans dick under patriarchy can be replicated by a gun and a look in your eyes that says your willing to use it.

The good ol' "Sure it sure sucks that masculinity and ability to do violence are treated as interchangeable but also i will use that to my advantage, respect me as a threat even if you don't respect me as a man,"

[anantaru]

EX HUSBAND NEUVILLETTE

— ꒰ synopsis ꒱ — ex! husband neuvillette headcanons

— ꒰ warnings ꒱ — [ex]plicit, fem! reader, fluff, crack lmao, he‘s trying his best, very rough like he’s feral!!!!, fucks you like there’s no tomorrow, but the sweetest man, a little possessive without him realising

ex! husband neuvillette, who— as was wildly anticipated, would not instantly vanish from your life nor leave you stranded alone beside the mental toll that a separation would leave on the both of you— even after the grief-stricken divorce was at last, ultimately finalized and carried out.

ex! husband neuvillette who thought that— with the fullness of his devastated heart, that in his own very eyes, it was beyond a doubt commonplace to aid and assist his ex-wife in the so called "aftermath" of your troubling divorce, whilst more urgently, be in no qualms that you're being cared for with everything and anything you could possible need.

ex! husband neuvillette, who of course, would double check with you to not suddenly overstep any boundaries or take up space that you might need— yet bare in mind, if you were to ask him for help on any matter really, he'd immediately leave everything behind to fulfill your wishes first, considering he is used to it, but the man will tend to forget about his own personal needs which he needed so he could function properly— yet now with you out of the picture, walking back to his current reality was becoming a taxing task.

ex! husband neuvillette, who, aside from his own separate challenges and demands, would never dare to cast aside his important work of practically running the nation of hydro. much obliged, he was a prestigious, praiseworthy man, thus the reason for him to pull more effort and sleepless nights into his occupation.

ex! husband neuvillette who couldn't believe that you both were divorced in the first place because in all seriousness, there wasn't much changing and aside from a couple instances, for example that he wasn't seeing you frequently, it felt the same way to him.

ex! husband neuvillette who, after a couple weeks into your divorce, will suddenly become a little more distant, not responding to letters you would occasionally send to make sure he was okay— with the immediate turbulent, overcast weather in fontaine adding to the closing eeriness of the entire situation. it's constant, clouded and gray, a mirage of cold rain and an incoming storm, and the people of fontaine will begin to question what had happened or if it was simply an unlucky past couple of weeks.

ex! husband neuvillette who doesn't like the idea of divorce, as might be expected he understands it, but in his own regard, he does not approve of it, but he accepts it— additionally, he wouldn't force you to stay with him, again, why he had agreed on it in the first place. the man would lie to himself if he'd say that it doesn't break his heart, the unclouded thought of wholly erasing the person he referred to as his 'wife' off his entire life was a frightening pondering.

ex! husband neuvillette wasn't willing to accept it, ever, but he did it for your sake and the small possibility of you becoming close again, in the future? perhaps, he was willing to wait endlessly, condemning himself to a lifetime in darkness, knowing full on well that his most desired dream to reconcile arguably wouldn't come true— on top of that, after careful, deep talks on how to properly navigate your divorce and being separated from now on, you have both ultimately agreed on remaining 'friends' in a sense, such was easy to state of course but you longed to make the best out of it, or at least try.

ex! husband neuvillette who will against all odds, still keep his wedding ring put on its designated place. granted, he had gotten quite accustomed to the feeling of it being wrapped around his finger and doesn't want to take it off. if you do decide to ask him about it, given that you aren't wearing yours anymore, he will plainly state that he got used to it way too much and it had grown on him, really, becoming a part of his person so ultimately taking it off would result in the same as him severing a limb off his body.

ex! husband neuvillette who still calls you his wife unintentionally, in the beginning of the first couple of weeks, it will happen almost all the time. be that as it may, he doesn't do it on purpose to somehow hurt you or make you uncomfortable, and he was aware of the fact that he needed to get accustomed to the feeling of being single again, of not being married anymore but calling you his wife just warmths his chest and hugs him from inside and out.

ex! husband neuvillette bets on it, it's like his whole day could be stacked with work on end, without a second of tranquility in sight, rain droplets covering the nation of hydro, but when he thinks about you, only you, a smile coruscates over his soft lips, increasing his heart beat, it's all so painful but he wouldn't want it any other way because nothing, and he emphasizes it deeply, nothing would be as painful as having you gone form his life.

ex! husband neuvillette who, and pay attention now, this would only happen if his strong, rational thinking skills and durable emotions towards keeping the laws of this world truthful were somewhat altered in an instance of weakness, but he would adore to throw and punish every new person you would date after him behind bars, yet not before properly dragging them to a trail that they cannot win, for him to look down on them— again, it's a small fantasy he wouldn't bring into life, he honored his noble work.

ex! husband neuvillette who knows that even day dreaming about such wrongful ideas were full of holes and malice, yet beyond it, he keeps himself restrained in not interfering in your new relationships— which he had thought must be a lot, you could say he believed that you were already out and about in the dating world, overthinking the worst out of all possibilities that could happen.

ex! husband neuvillette who will oftentimes send the melusines out to check up on you and tell him how you're doing— no, don't misunderstand, he doesn't want to know if you were dating again, he wouldn't, after all, this was your personal life and he wasn't your husband anymore. but then again, surely checking every now and then wouldn't hurt a soul, right?

ex! husband neuvillette will send you freshly picked flowers frequently, or have your favorite dish made by a professional chef. how can i forget to mention that he tends to buy a small, cute souvenir that would remind him of you and send it your way instantly. at how things were slowly progressing, the man will be quite embarrassed in facing you again, granted that you had promised to remain friends, he fears that the constant raining and pouring around fontaine would make it desperately obvious on how he was truly feeling, what can there be left anyways, nothing but the untouchable part of him, his aching soul begging for closeness.

but ex! husband neuvillette does not want to trouble you, fearing he might become overbearing in his doings, but he misses you, this time it's more raw than that, more exposed, more pure. he longes for a moment where he can see and feel you again, his mind circling through emotions and pondering, sinful dreams stitching his psyche together and calming down his heart.

ex! husband neuvillette who will be surprised, yet overly thrilled as if he was about to jump off his chair, when you ask the sweet melusines to hand him over a letter— the scent of the thin paper reminding him of your fragrance, a similar one he noticed whenever he kissed your neck. beyond question, they couldn't have told him fast enough, he finishes up the necessary work load for the day, at once forging ahead to your once shared house. you know it by now but he does not falter, he wants this to be perfect, carefully picking up a bouquet of flowers, with the flowers in questions being the very ones that have been decorating your wedding venue back in the day, oh sweet memories, he hopes he doesn't come off as crazy.

ex! husband neuvillette who tries to play it cool, it's not a big deal, but why were his hands sweating? his breathing was fast too, burgeoning, each following step towards your home, his limbs and muscles would begin to tremble, it's evident and almost aflame, but the weather has been nice again all of a sudden, for once in fontaine and he couldn't wait to see you.

ex! husband neuvillette who cannot say anything when you open the door for him, all these miles with the memories of your passionate time together pouring back into his mind. it's silly, but so real, and there was a silence, although not of an uncomfortable kind, it was overthrowing the hefty atmosphere.

and honestly, you think ex! husband neuvillette was cute when he was all overwhelmed and bereft of speech, even cuter when he’s silently walking past the door, your hands slowly wrapping around the bouquet of flowers to place them aside, on top of a wooden drawer before panning your eyes back into his grasp— which was his piercing, conquering gaze.

you could perceive the cutting tautness, how the reinforced pressure alone couldn't be torn, not with a sharp knife, no sword, no blade, because forthrightly— there wasn't anything on this planet that was able to part this emerging and crashing body chemistry.

all fairness to the situation— your captivation was off the charts, two people unable to coexist while parted, searching within your souls to understand what was happening. yet then it hit you, that maybe— heavily placed on a single maybe, that there might've been a cruel mistake in how things ended between you both;

or did they end?

because like a bullet piercing through soft flesh, it gave the impression away as if you were both moving closer to your sweet frames until you could clearly feel his warm, clothed chest pushed against your own— hopeful eyes remained locked within your gazes as you carefully slide your hands behind his neck without breaking his stares.

ex! husband neuvillette whose breathing was all fast and hasty, yet much swifter was his never ending intention to kiss you again and taste your lips in the process, he cannot stop himself anymore, but he must— for some reason, he cannot fathom that this might be reality and that you both would have a second chance in this life after all.

"kiss me." you suddenly whisper, eyes aglow with his own enlarging at the nervous utterance, subtle touches weaving together and showing your open truths.

ex! husband neuvillette feels how tense he has gotten and tries to relax— on top of that, he was reminiscing about the past and the bare memories of your writhing body splayed under his large one, his entire weight on top of you, just the whisper of his sinful imagination made his mouth water— he truly believes he was in fact dreaming right now, especially when you tell him to kiss him again.

there were no thoughts to process anymore, no focus he could grasp on to remain clearness— what was left were true, unfaltering desires and the scalding pain of waiting. that‘s when you kiss him instead, his body immediately welcoming your fervid warmth, pulling his head towards your own in a heart beat.

ex! husband neuvillette felt a heavy hardship being lifted off his shoulders the moment your lips touch his, and each one of the words he had planned to spell out to you, they form into a sting that was beating into his heart, repeatedly, the sharp stitches seeping into his veins slowly. and he refuses to cry in front of you, or expose to you that everything that had happened after your separation was covered in nothing but a silent numbness.

swallowing the lump in his throat, ex! husband neuvillette guides you to the bedroom, it was hard to decipher what was real or not, each motion of your lips rounding across his own felt like he was dreaming the most beautiful dream of them all. the whisper of cold air brushes across your bodies when he opens the door to the cold room, his own imagination going wild when he peeks at the neatly made bed, or the wooden drawer next to it, still having your wedding picture on display.

ex! husband neuvillette who takes his time in undressing you, the fear of someone taking you away from him again, even now, was still there and he wanted, no, needed to relish in this as good as possible. neuvillette wets his lips, nervous, "my love.. are you sure about this?" and he hesitated for a second— but when you tug at his own sleeves now, fondling with the expensive garment, nodding your head and expertly wrapping your digits into the thin fabric to help him out of it, he knows you wanted it as badly as he did, popping his arms back so you could pull his coat down, your mouth twisting into a subtle smile.

ex! husband neuvillette who touches you featherlight, slowly parting your legs to settle in between, and butterflies expand in your belly when you admire his beauty from up close again, his muscles twitching when you decide to lightly graze his skin with your fingertips, smoothly sliding over his chest before wrapping your arms around his neck. 

ex! husband neuvillette who could honestly cry the moment he first slides his cock into you again, kissing you again and again, more deeply, more feral and in need before licking into your mouth, leaving his large hand to wander down to the plush of your ass and push you into the mattress when he first bottoms out of you. you're so warm, wet and comfortable while you're clamping down on him. and neuvillette pistols his hips like an electric light, hoping he'd be able to hit so deep inside your warm cunt till you practically feel him stir up your guts.

and a moan slowly builds up in your throat as your tits brush against his strong chest— whilst neuvillette places a delicious, fast pace on you, the bare strength of his thrusts making the headboard bounce back and forth the wall as he nibbles on your bottom lip while fucking his cock into you, your gummy walls squelching at each well received pump.

ex! husband neuvillette who roughly palms your tits and plays with your nipples with his hips moving in a feral tempo— whilst those breathy, wet pleas of your name, the ones he whispered against your ear, evolve into gluttonous, hungry groans, whilst the thought about losing all of this made it more difficult for him to say anything at all, his throat acting as a trap for that one sentence he intended to spell out, the sound of it awaiting to break free— but the nervousness couldn't be surpassed as he takes a hold of your hand, desperately clutching on it before grinding his erection back into you, a pulse surging through the entirety of your walls.

ex! husband neuvillette who finds it mesmerizing on how you were so responsive to his every nibble and touch, his thudding cock diving between your legs while he fists your tits in his warm hand, your lips parting with cries and begs while meeting his hungry pace.

his hips, much bigger than yours, keep hitting into you, a lustful gaze on your facial expression clouding your mind as he makes you feel so unbelievably good, soaking your sheets as you kiss him, famished and hot, feeling his needy grunts exhaling through his lips as you clench down hard, gazes meeting once and for all, "i love you." you say, almost cry it out, and neuvillette wanted to be patient with you, claim your body to its full exhaustion afterwards, but not now, he cannot keep his cool this time— not anymore, not after you said those very three words he wasn't able to utter out all night.

you're truly driving him insane, and his body was pressing hotly against yours as you wiggle and writhe under him, puppy eyes watching him please you from under your lashes while you’re requiring more of his cock in you, please please, you say, your pussy clamping around his girth and milking him for good.

ex! husband neuvillette who tells you, "i love you too, i love you too.." in quick, fast paced syllables, and the burning veins in his body turn numb when you begin to cry out of joy and pleasure, hastily pushing your heels into his back to signal him to fuck you harder as he pounds away into your creamy pussy, dragging his hard erection along your sore walls and burning pleasure spots.

now— your nails simmer over his defined back, both sweetly indulging in each others company and the feeling of being one again, nothing else but solid, fast paced pleasure which was turning him on, so fucking much, his breathing puffed and winded, throwing his head back as you're doing your best to match his insane rhythm.

your pussy swallows him up like magic, your damp lashes tickling his shoulders as he buries his face against your neck to suck on the wet flesh, in accessory to the numerous amount of praises, declarations of love and filthy curses plastering your sweaty skin. or how about the swallowing screams and begs of your name that ripple through him as you moan out fervently, twitching under his towering body and arching your back.

oh, well? it's now or never your “ex” husband fears, and he decides to push his pulsing cock deep into your hole, deeper, just a little bit more, please! until you're desperately screaming into his shoulder, as far as it can fit into your little pussy, sending you over an intoxicating edge.

and ex! husband neuvillette was, at long last, back at where he should be, where he should've been all along, with you, making passionate and meaningful love to each other, because the man needed it, needed you close to him, and he cannot and will never again, paint the world without you in it.

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[rizsu]

you're married to geto suguru, yet you plan to kill him. interesting, right? truth be told; you despise suguru. you loathe his touch, hate his voice, detest his entire person as a whole. you never loved him — it was simply just toleration.

suguru... he's a decent husband, at most. he gives you money — which is most important — he buys you gifts, he's home, at least. suguru gives you everything but himself. you cried for his touch, he never gave it. you begged for his presence, he said he had pressing business to attend to. he's the best but worst fucking husband ever.

it's not only his negligence, it's him slowly replacing you with someone else. slowly, but surely, you've noticed that another person has been consuming your presence, wringing you dry of the little authority you had within the geto residence. at first, it bothered you to the core. every time you spoke to suguru about these concerns, your voice echoed through the walls like a broken record. in one ear and out the other; heard but not listened.

your tears dropped, yet to him it did nothing but cause a wet mess. he'd always sigh, feeling guilty to leave you spiraling in your emotions. "don't cry, love," he'd say, whispering sweet nothings in your head. he'd bring you to his chest, completely swallowing you in his hold. his fingers would caress your body, reminding you that you're a geto, you're apart of him now. you're not alone. only the foolish marionette will melt in its master's dull words. once the marionette was you, twice is what it won't be.

the honeymoon phase wilted, what's left is nothing short of two adults tied together by a piece of paper. a liar is what you refuse to be. if anyone may ask, you will not lie. it's true, your heart feels heavy. you miss the suguru you met as naive teenagers, you miss the suguru who loved you from the moon and back. unfortunately, what comes must go. you've grown tired of being the sole one who reminds him about anniversaries and birthdays.

his effort to maintain the marriage no longer exists. his attraction to the mistress heightens every week. it hurts, yes, but you're numb to it. hell be damned you've become the forgotten wife but never will you ever be the wife who allows her cheating husband to be.

no, never. they won't get a laugh out of you — they won't get the last say. the blame glazes over both, yet it soaks suguru more. as a married man, he should've known better than to entertain a mere lady's lust to him. now comes his price to pay, and soon she will pay hers. a circus that walks together, dies together.

it's never easy planning a murder. you don't want to get caught — prison isn't somewhere you'd want to be. the easiest and most effiecent way to ensure suguru's death will be poisoning. not just any poisoning, however. a poison that kills naturally; something that'll make his death appear natural.

suguru's always been a healthy man, using an excuse such as "he fell ill," won't work. he doesn't have much enemies. his peers loved him. a death by food poisoning seems much more acceptable. food poisoning occurs in many ways: for example, if the food has been left out for too long, boom, food poisoning. it's not unusual for one to die by it, so the plan sets sail.

──

one: errands.

as usual, your role of playing the forgotten wife will remain the same. running your ‘errands’ will be as easy as flipping a page, suguru pays you no attention. today it'll be the same. the only obstacle would be to find the energy to arise off of the bed.

the subtle sunlight grants the room a warming aura, giving the perfect contrast together with the air conditioner. like always, suguru's gone. the only trace of him being here would be your memory of him sneaking in last night. at least he has enough manners to not wake you.

same old, same old. you'll only waste your energy worrying about him, let's just finish the morning routine.

"morning," out of habit, you greet the empty house. coming out of slumber to be greeted by an empty home used to do numbers to you. now, it doesn't. its merely a house cosplaying as a home.

the oh-so fluttering dreams of a married life with suguru have dusted away. if only you can go back in time and stop your lovesick self. whatever, no use dwelling on it now. there's a plan to layout.

a single toasted slice of bread, your bottle of water, a handbag, and the car keys are all you took out the door with you. the house keys are attached together with the car keys so it's not a worry. not like you'll be back before suguru anyway.

the drive feels silent. although the radio's on, it feels empty. maybe it's the effects of your clouded mind, or maybe it's you attempting to clear your mind. either way, it's nothing but trivial matters. at this very moment you most likely have to stitch up a lie believable enough to obtain the poison.

chilly, is what you think. you're at the destination; it's an apartment complex that was in the makings but was abandoned. it's dirty, puddles of water decorate the floor, and its filled with dealers and criminals alike. can't blame them, it's the perfect place for a hideout. coming here alone as a woman is something you'd never do... without a weapon that is. you don't own a gun, but you do own a pocket knife.

"psst," someone calls out. they must be calling another person. let's just continue walking.

"you, woman," they call again. surely it's not you. let's just speed up the pace.

"oi, rude bitch 'm talking to you," they specify and surely enough they aren't calling you a bitch, right?

"you're not talking to me with that attitude," you turn around, raising an eyebrow at the man — or lady, you don't know. their face is covered and their clothes are baggy.

the stranger walks you to, and you walk backwards. okay, it's kinda getting creepy.

"any — any reason why you're coming to me?" you questioned, trying to mask your obvious worries.

"aren't you the one who's here for the poison, missy?" they stop walking, reaching into their pockets before bringing a small, white tube in view.

oops, you're caught off guard. if this is who you agreed to meet with you only hope they don't run with the poison.

"oh — yes, that's me! how'd you know?"

"have my ways. ain't a dealer if i don't know my clients — even if they're a one timer," they speak, handing you the tube. "name's siren. just an alias, don't question it."

you carefully take the tube, in return you quickly place the envelope in their hand. ready to get out of there, you ramble out your words, "okay, thank you! the money is in there, bye! see you never!"

siren watches your frame scatter away from them, the sounds of your low heels clicking the floor making them chuckle. crazy woman, they think, returning their focus back on the money.

you're back in the car safe and sound. you know what, it's time to go back. you lock your doors, hide the tube in your handbag, and turn up the radio. now that the errand's over, you probably won't go outside for two days.

ah, home. nothing beats being home. except suguru's car is parked so that means he's here. the home is now back to the house. inhaling a deep breath, you mentally prepare yourself to have any interaction with him. you have your doubts but something inside you screams that he's going to talk.

"where have you been?"

well, that was quick. you only managed to take your heels off. talk about an impatient man.

"out for a breather, why?" you return the question, walking into the living room without glancing at him.

"all right," he says, not continuing the conversation.

ladies and gentlemen, never get married. suguru no longer cares to hold conversations. you can tell the ugliest lies to him and he wouldn't care. as long as you're back, it's okay. you're used to it, yet a silent voice in you wished that he would've asked more questions.

you continue on without glancing at him, making your way to the shared bedroom. it's a little after noon, you'll take this time to relax.

──

two: weird individual(s).

it's hot — you feel hot. a burning sensation engulfs your head. this wasn't supposed to happen. you were making dinner, casually sipping on your glass of wine as you go along. suguru, for some reason, finally showed himself for the day. without a word, he seated himself near the counter, pouring himself a glass of wine and keeping his eyes on you.

to say you're not uncomfortable would be a severe understatement. his eyes create holes in your back — it's annoying. say something if you want to, asshole, you complained in your mind but truly, you yourself weren't going to say anything.

and so, you carried on. dinner being cooked and suguru being weird. it got even more weird when he stood up. you're at the sink, cleaning as you go along. suguru's finished with his glass, so it's not out of the ordinary for him to stand behind you, trapping you with both arms as he washes his glass, right? yeah, it's pretty weird.

"uh, do you mind?" you softly spoke, which was also weird. why is everything just weird tonight?

suguru stays in that position, humming to a tune you're not familiar with.

"is it wrong to be near my wife?"

oh, now i'm his wife.

"not at all, suguru. it's just that i'm busy at the moment," you told half the truth. you are busy, but you don't want him near you.

"is that so?" he spoke, removing one hand only to place it on your hip. slowly, he begins to squeeze the flesh, lowering his head into the junction of your neck and shoulder. his voice, though muffled, can be heard with a low, seductive tone, "missed you all day, why not busy yourself with me?"

bullshit, but it's not bad. you can do with some physical destressing.

"not in the kitchen."

"sure."

and that's how you found yourself tangled on top of him on the sofa. sloppily making out with him, hands found freedom in his hair, and his hands found home on your hips. it's a hot mess, and you're kind of liking it. suguru may be a bitch, but he sure knows your body. it's been five years, after all.

"wait—" you broke the kiss, placing your hands on his chest. "let's st—stop," you spoke, stuttering as suguru leans his head to bite your neck.

"why?" he asks, curious at your sudden choice. you never stopped him before.

"i.. don't feel good, sorry suguru," you lied again. suguru isn't and is the problem. you'd love to go deeper with him but the realization that he's touched another woman like this disgusts you. it's no wonder you plan on killing him.

suguru doesn't speak. instead, he moves you off of him. "it's okay," he says, leaning in to give you a kiss on the cheek. it doesn't take long for him to leave you alone again. now you're feeling a pinch of guilt. i'm not wrong, right? he's the one who abandoned me.

you sigh, lifting yourself off the sofa. there's a dinner to indulge in and trust, you will enjoy it. you made it with your blood, sweat, tears, and some wine.

──

three: poison attempt day.

surprisingly, you felt energized today. as if someone charged six-hundred volts of energy to a dead battery. today's the day, hopefully. the man who cosplays himself as a husband is absent per usual. it's up to you to cook lunch.

you're already preparing; there's no time to waste. every minute needs your utmost attention — the kind of attention a predator gives its prey before hunting them. the one downside to this would be the poison's taste. it's not an overwhelming one, but it's there. anything with a strong scent comes with a strong taste, they say. you haven't put it to the test — no way, you're not suicidal — but the safer side's always better.

ginger, you think, ginger and onions overpower everything. bingo. a minute¹ change to the recipe's ingredients but it's nothing to fret over. trivial matters again. within an hour, lunch was finished with a cherry on top — except the cherry holds the uneven balance between suguru's life and death.

you removed your apron, flicked off the water from your hands after you washed it, and then threw yourself face-first onto the longer sofa. exhaustion massages your body, encouraging you to fall into its depths. its opponent, emotional drain, creeps up. your body's the platform, and they're the contestants. a battle of who will dominate you begins; a useless battle for the woman whose tears dried up long ago.

a heavy sigh escapes, i'm tired, you think. sliding your hands under your head, you use it to cushion the side of your face. it's quiet like always but you're left to your thoughts this time. it may just crown itself for being the first time you gave yourself leeway to part and understand your tangled emotions. it's like a ball of tangled wires: scattered yet neat. roads to untangle it are visible, yet its many wires frighten the person.

what you feel is nothing short of some doll who replaces her face to satisfy the owner. the marionette you once were and refuse to be again. she who shows you, you who show yourself, who is the real you? perhaps, it's all. everything is you, everything has become you. many versions of yourself dance around the stage, all moving towards to same goal: killing the one who drained them.

the clock ticks, each sounded second rips your skin apart. it's torturous, but soon it'll all be over. i think i need a nap, your last voice echoes away in your mind as you succumb to exhaustion. who knew planning a murder against your once beloved could've been this draining.

─

suguru lazily enters, slackening his tie. his eyes focus on the lunch decorating the dining table. soon, his eyes travel to your resting figure. after all, you're in his usual position. she's sleeping, he thinks of the obvious, deciding to keep a low profile as to not wake you.

however, being a man means that you're prone to making mistakes... especially loud ones. from the cup connecting with the floor to the fork clanging as it fell, it's been a rather loud attempt at serving himself some lunch.

he's sure that you're awake. well, not entirely awake, but conscious enough to hear everything around you. the blame is his to own, again.

"it's untouched..." suguru whispers, confused at the perfectly untouched food that lies before his eyes. maybe you got a change of eating routine.

lies, of course. you'd be nothing but a joker if you were to consume the same food you poisoned. suguru doesn't know this, however. he's picked his path and the path hides its true face; wicked and heartless, like a haunted house pretending to be a normal house to lure in its victims.

it's been a few minutes later and you're now fully awake. you haven't moved an inch to expose yourself — just mindlessly gazing into the void of your shared house. you're aware that he's home, aware that he's found himself lunch, and aware that the clock's ticking sound has gotten louder. almost as if it knows its counting down someone's death day.

"is he eating?" you whispered, peeking from the sofa's backrest. "oh, he is."

suguru's at the dining table, scrolling on his phone as he shoves a vegetable in his mouth. his actions fill you with guilt, excitement, and fear. for a reason only god knows, you don't want him eating anymore. may it be due to loving him half of your life, or may it be due to the guilt of killing someone who mattered to others. whatever, who cares. no one — no one will, you chant in your mind, attempting to convince yourself.

"wait, suguru—" you acted out of your own will, cutting your speech short when you regained yourself. what the fuck? you're leaning over the sofa's backrest, reaching an arm out to suguru. eyes wide open, you try to piece together a reasonable follow-up response.

"hm? something wrong?" suguru asks, mouth filled with food. he places his phone face down and tilts his head. he looks innocent, as if he's not a cheating, neglecting bastard of a husband. well, that's the way life goes. the evil masks themselves as the innocent, basking in those who are more innocent than themselves, slowly consuming their energy for their own. selfish, selfish people.

"ah," you begin, awkwardly lowering your hand. "is the food okay? i tried a new recipe."

i don't want to kill him.

"yeah, it's good," he responds, taking a sip of whatever he's drinking.

he's wronged me.

you walk towards the dining table, pulling out a chair to seat yourself in front of him. "i see... how was your morning?" you questioned, swallowing hard. your legs are shaking, you don't know why. your heart races, you can't answer why.

"boring, same old stuff. i met with my client though, she's fun to be around," suguru tells, poking the food with his fork to get a good bite.

i fucking hate him.

you don't speak after that. instead, you bite at the skin of your lower lip. your emotions try to join together, yet they won't. it's like a lava lamp, they'll never truly connect. every time you're away from suguru, your hatred tames. every time he's back, it heightens. it doesn't take much more than his voice to fuel your restless anger. you observe him, watching the way his throat bobs each swallow. something feels off.

the two of you continue in silence, simply observing each other. suguru takes it upon himself to do the dishes, you remain put in the chair. his phone remained with you, face down yet dings with notifications. you've always wondered what it's like to have him text you every day. once it was a memory of the teenage years... now it's a sour dream.

──

four: night, night.

it's the same night, you're in bed with suguru. both of you are under the same covers, yet you're both at the extreme ends of the bed. a large, empty space separates you two. neither are asleep nor do they wish to be awake. a heavy feeling rains over their shared room. the tension's strong enough to break the strongest thread.

suguru's the first to turn, rolling himself over to you. he extends an arm to secure over your waist; this brings you skin-to-skin with his torso and your back. his head lowers to yours, resting his chin on your head. you give no reaction except stiffing your body. what's he up to?

his extended arm caresses you lightly, mimicking patterns on your delicate skin. he takes a deep breath before exhaling.

"my love, i know you're planning to kill me," he softly speaks, waiting for you to respond.

your heart drops. what? he knows? it's probably a bluff. you opt for remaining the way you currently are. if you continue pretending, he'll most likely continue speaking the truth.

"i've been watching you. i don't blame you, dear. i've neglected you for quite some time. i've cheated on you with someone temporary. if i were you, i would've killed me sooner. however, i won't lie and say i'm not hurt. if my wife were to kill me, i'd prefer it to be in an easy, quick way. you've chosen your part and i can't change that, but promise me: on my deathbed, you'll be there. it's not a request to mock you, but a request of seeing you one last time," suguru empties himself out, pouring onto you a bucket of words that hold the truth. the ugly truth you've avoided.

literally fuck off. it means nothing now, you think, judging suguru's words.

"i've been horrible and nothing can change that. i will not beg for forgiveness, nor will i beg for your love. it's already been done. but please, my dear... let me say sorry," his voice quiets to the end and the caressing stops. his hand remains firm, waiting for you to come out of your fake shell. "i know you're not asleep. answer me, please."

caught red-handed.

"i don't care for your fucking apology. it's a bit too late," you spit your venom out, thanking the gods that your back is what's facing him. "matter of fact, i hope you die soon. do as you wish, though. your time is limited."

suguru doesn't answer yet. his arm around you tightens. his breathing's getting uneven — you can hear it. it's shaking, the same way your eyes are shaking to prevent any tears — or as you call it, the pity tears.

he takes in a deep breathe, verbally exhaling a shaky one in return, "then, i'll apologize. i'm sorry."

that's it, huh, you think, almost voicing out your thoughts.

"it means nothing to apologize for actions i could've prevented a long time ago. so, i'm sorry. sorry that i've wronged you to the point you plot my death," he finishes, not having any more to say.

you wriggle out of his grasp, turning to face him. it's dark yet you can see his sadness. isn't that just too bad? the bar of the love you still feel for suguru exists, yet its overpowered by the hatred you've accumulated for him. it stings that he's going like this, but you rather it be by your own arms instead of another's.

"i don't have anything to say," you quietly speak, looking at suguru in the eyes. "if it doesn't work, then i hope you recover in the worst way. if it works and you die, i'll kiss you a merciful death."

the conversation ends. what's left are two adults staring into each other's eyes. there's nothing but empty voids facing each other. voids they once filled, voids they once created. it's too late; too late for anything. suguru's a petty liar if he says he's not afraid. who isn't afraid of death? he doesn't want to die, but what's done cannot be undone. he cannot turn the clock anti-clockwise and fix his actions. you won't be switching lanes, and it's set what the outcome will be.

minute¹ — pronounced my·new·tuh. meaning: extremely small. two synonyms: tiny, little.

[opal-owl-flight]

A rousing victory on all fronts!!

You can hear the team chanting the Sploon1 victory theme from here.

This is the best outcome that 3 could ever have hoped for. A Splatfest they were allowed to fight in, AND theyre winning team? Its a dream come true.

And Team Past winning is a message that they had hoped to hear for reasons that hit close to home.

On the more personal side, they chose this team because they had one good memory, one good year, and that single point in their life is going to keep them going. Theyre going to work so they can make more of that experience for themself.

Theyre a nostalgic soul. They want things to be simple like when they first turned 14 and left home.

But thats not all.

They believe that there has to be a return to form between the nations that participated in this fest. Long ago, they were all in harmony until the waters rose. Now that the nations are together again, they want them to just think of the music, the art, the food, the culture they can share with each other instead of fighting all the time.

Team past winning could be a show of a similar sentiment. Bury the hatchet. Lets hold hands like how we did it back then. Fucks sake -- most of Inkadia isnt even aware of Octaria. They were kind of just forgotten.

Inkadia is willing to open their arms again. Octaria is still a lil skittish but itll get better. They have reason to be, anyway.

Thing abt the two nations is that -- for several years now, migrations and travel have been more or less commonplace. Lots of Octarians in Inkopolis now, thanks to the platoon's help. Most people have relations with an Octarian. Inkadia didnt notice it at first. When they did though, there was apprehension. Thats where 3s peace talks come in.

Beyond the powers that be, regular Inkadians saw no reason to fear the Octarians (unless theyre part of those idiot fringe groups similar to Cuttlefish before). Theyve known these guys for years now, theres no harm.

The grandfest is Inkadia finally shaking hands with Octaria officially. Now even Octavio feels safe in bringing the dome dwellers up. Only reason he was strict with travel in the first place was his fear of Inkadians being nasty to his people.

Admittedly...yes, they were nasty to his people for a while. There was this subconcious bias/expectation that the Octarians should act a certain way to be accepted. To leave behind what made them Octarian, to blend in, assimilate. More passionate Octarians were usually excluded. There have been movements to bring light to these issues, which the platoon also participates in, and slowly but surely things changed for the better. Its not 100% perfect yet but its still moving forward.

And then team past wins?? Its like Inkadia is saying "we fucked up. Were sorry. How can we make up for it?"

It wasnt about returning to the past, (though the past that these winners fight for is a past when the two nations were in harmony) its all about learning from their mistakes to make a better present and future.

The win meant that society is acknowledging that theyve made mistakes and are willing to make up for it.

Its the best result for 3, really. They want Inkadia to face the fucking facts while they make up for everything theyve done wrong. They are an agent that relies on previous experience to get better. They observe past actions, they look at previous mistakes bit too much Ill say and think of how to improve themself (and others.)

To get better, you have to study the past. This is true for battle, and also personal growth.

3 has so much hope for the future bc of this, and they never thought theyd ever hope again.

Knowing that Inkadians are willing to do that effort really makes them believe in their nation more.

Their peace talks with the powers that be and their efforts of helping Octarians integrate with the surface Inkadians have paid off at last,,

Bc Inkadians tjemselves said that they want to make things better than how things were before

Theyre not alone in that fight anymore.

The Grizzco raids that stole a billion eggs back from the corporation was the first sign...and this win confirms their hopes.

---------

THIS IS SUCH A LONG ONE BUT YEAH!! 3 IS UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY FOR ONCE!!!

[lovelykhaleesiii]

hi! will you write an aegon x reader imagine in which they are married out of love. and after she gives birth, alicent (or otto idk) requests to see her child like she did to rhaenyra. like what would aegon do to see his wife in pain and how would he react? thank you!

Ugh, I live for this type of angst!!! I reckon Aegon would be so fucking pisssssed. How dare they try to get you to lift a finger, let alone stand after birthing his child!!!! sorry for the wait, hope you enjoy xx

Our Child.

PAIRING: Aegon ii Targaryen x fem!Reader

WORDS: 1,948.

WARNINGS: swearing, fluff, angst, Dad!Aegon, mentions of pregnancy/birth, mentions of bullying.

A/N - I apologise for getting carried away with the beginning lmao, but I felt the need to lay some background, so don't mind me. hope you enjoy!

Within this realm, gossip and scepticism was not unfamiliar territory. Especially regarding the livelihood and innocence of maidens such as yourself, whispers were constant, back and forth, the ongoing judgement would never be silenced although, you'd grown ignorant to. It did not matter, many accused you of being a whore, many expressed their disgust over hearing your so-called promiscuous nature, and many had ridiculed your poor upbringing.

"Surely, she's bedded men before, and the Prince seems to not mind? I heard she was betrothed to a farmer in the North, although ran away."

"Aegon is no saint either... Although he is a man, and men have needs."

"What would the Prince want with someone of her kind? She has nothing to offer, not even a dowry, and he is to be King."

The scrutiny was constant, and Aegon knew at times, no matter how well you masked it, that the words stung. He knew your story, having allowed him and granting him the time to really get to know you, Aegon had pestered you for so long, he listened and knew your truth.

The rest were all lies, deceit and gossip, for many lords had intended for their own daughters to wed the King to be.

"The realm have already made up their minds, Aegon, I stand no chance against them."

Aegon did not care. He loved you undeniably, and whatever he saw in you, made him a better man.

"They can answer to me, I'd like to hear their judgement directly."

It was true, no one dared to question Aegon's intentions with you, not at least in front of him. First off, he had a dragon. Secondly, a terribly, quick temper, the notorious Targaryen temper... The two fused well together depending on who asked.

Overtime, just as you always had, the scrutiny of the high class and council did not matter to you, for it was the least of your concerns.

Although, it bothered you greatly that his mother, Queen Alicent, had tuned into such gossip and determined herself that you unworthy.

She did not completely ignore your presence in the castle, although she was cold. She never warmed unto you like she did with other high-borne ladies, nor did she give you the chance to speak or tell your truth. Her mind was made.

Alicent was certain that you had other intentions with her son, that you'd wanted riches, gold, money, anything to help redeem your family's status in society. She assumed that you would use the Crown in all its glory, all through Aegon.

"I see you as you are, Y/N. Aegon may think with his cock when it comes to you, although I see right through you," Her words cut sharp as Valyrian blade, left you defeated and speechless.

Aegon knew of this, for he could tell how quickly your mood had shifted. He knew of his mother's sour attitude towards you, for she'd plead with him many times to let you go, even proposing the idea of offering you money in return that you leave King's Landing for good.

In despite of the adversity, Aegon held his ground, for one of the first times in his life. He remained with you, by your side relentlessly, and defended your honour. He often returned to your chambers tiresome of the repetitive quarrelling with his mother about you, and yet he did not intend to stop, until she'd accepted you. In time, he had asked for your hand, wedding you in a private ceremony, upholding his Valyrian heritage, and not before long, you were with child, Aegon's child and his rightful heir.

****

The birthing was difficult to say the least, going on for a fair few hours in the night, right until sunlight could be seen in the horizon. The instant cry of your newborn babe filled the room, and much to your relief, caused you to beam with a smile on your face, as you embraced the small bub in your arms.

"A boy, your Grace. Kicking like a goat," The experienced midwife exclaimed, as she tended to the sweat dripping on your face, and the blood marked on your cheeks, from kissing the babe, trying to make you somewhat decent if Aegon was to return.

Aegon although, desperate to be with you, was caught in a council meeting. Much to his dismay, his abrupt marriage to you left many lords in uproar as his family had promised them the opportunities for their daughters to meet the young Prince, determined to see if he'd take a liking to one of the them. Many now furious at the Crown, refusing to pay taxes and levies.

As you cradled the baby in your arms, enamoured by the bundle of joy, little shrouds of hair on his head, parallel to his father's Targaryen heritage, his nose even a copy of Aegon's. It was his little twin. Trying to take your son's presence all in, was suddenly interrupted by a loud knock on the door, jolting your attention towards the entrance. Your heart raced with excitement, as you'd relished in the image of Aegon rushing through to your bedside, meeting his newborn son for the first moment ever.

Much to your disappointment it was a knight, although, one that you'd grown familiar to seeing in the Queen's company.

"Apologies to bother you, your Grace. Although, Queen Alicent wishes to see you and the babe at this very moment."

A puzzled look drenched your face, as you scanned the faces of the midwives and maester present during your birth, each of them sharing a discerning look, some quickly looking to their shuffling feet, trying to seem busy.

"Right now?" You stuttered, holding your newborn tightly instinctively.

The knight merely nodded, as though hesitant to giving such orders considering the ordeal you'd endured just mere minutes ago.

Now you'd grown annoyed, you gestured for one of the midwives to hold your dear son, who continued to wail as he left your arms, whilst the others helped you to your feet, blood drenched clothes, pooling down your legs as you gained steadiness.

You couldn't stand by yourself, your head whirling and your belly and thighs aching in a dull pain, sudden movements and long strides caused sharp pains to bellow your lower back and hips, cramping your muscles. It was pain you'd never felt like before.

The maester attempted to convince you of taking milk of the poppy for the walk, although short, would be tormenting with the stairs you had to conquer.

Although, milk of the poppy made you feel weaker, less conscious. You did not want to wish dropping the babe in your arms, nor be less alert for Alicent.

The midwives carefully donned you in a clean, silk gown, attempting to make you as decent and proper as possible, for people began to bustle through the castle now. Hearing their conversations and steps outside the door, for it was morning and you'd grown familiar to its routine.

"Y/N dearest, perhaps we can send a message to the Queen that your condition does not allow for you to travel currently-" The maester pitied.

"No, it is fine. If this is what the Queen wants, this is what she shall get."

The midwife that had held your son, returned him to your arms, as the knight helped to guide you out, holding out his armoured arm as you gripped it tightly for support. Thankfully, he did not rush you, for he could see how slow and careful you were taking your steps.

Some lords and ladies passing by would congratulate you, whilst others remained ignorant to your presence, and some in pure shock that you were travelling in such a state.

Their whispers again, filled the morning air, although before reaching the steps, you'd taken a glance at your newborn son, snug in his blankets. Again, the same, warm smile gleamed on your face as you watched him, before a sharp pain pierced through your lower abdomen. Your grip on the knight tensed and he knew immediately, questioning if you wished to turn back.

"No-No, let's just fucking go."

As you took the first, agonising step up, a familiar voice yelled out your name. Slowly turning back, your body straining, resisting all the physical movement, you could see Aegon down the other side of the corridor, rushing past as he reached your side.

"What's the meaning of this, where are you going in such a state?"

He kept his focus on you, oblivious to the babe in your arms, as one hand massaged your back, whilst the other held your arm for support, as you began to cower in pain.

"Ughh-Y-Your mother, wanted t-to see the babe, now."

You stuttered, your voice trembling as the pain worsened the more you remained on your feet, becoming breathless by the second.

As you mentioned the babe, Aegon looked down, his eyes meeting his newborn son, a cherished look on his face appeared for a split second, before he realised the situation. His eyes darted towards the knight and commanded that he tell his mother, "That would not be wise, if she so wishes to see the babe, she can come down herself."

You reassured the knight that you were fine, as Aegon took his place by your side, turning you back around to your chambers, the midwives still present as they remained cleaning the bloody scene, were relieved to see you return. They all helped you back down cautiously, propping pillows behind your back for support, even preparing a small cup of milk of the poppy, now that you were rested in bed.

"What were you thinking Y/N? Don't you ever think that you need to prove yourself like that, my mother can answer to me."

"I-I don't know, Aegon. She is the Queen, a-and I thought... I am sorry husband."

Aegon had been pacing himself up and down the room, as the midwives left to give you both peace and privacy, shaking and rubbing his head. Out of fury, he slammed his fist against the wooden post of the bed railing, before calming himself. Seating himself down by your side, as he ran his fingers through his short, tussled platinum hair. A low sigh escaping his mouth, as he exchanged a worried look on his face, your hand reaching over to hold his reddened knuckles, as your thumb grazed the small, fresh cut.

"You-You my dearest, need not to apologise, you did nothing wrong. I just cannot fathom how my mother think it okay to torment you like that."

"I-I do not know, Aegon. But rest assured, our son is happy and healthy, come-"

You pulled his fingers, beckoning to come closer, as you pulled down the cover on your son's little face, despite all the mayhem that ensued following his birth, he remained quiet and slept. Unphased by the drama of his presence, he was your calm before the storm.

"He's beautiful isn't he? Our child." You softly whisper, as you looked up from the babe to Aegon, and back down again, gently cradling him in your arms.

Aegon's arm wrapped beneath yours, as his free hand, a finger gently grazed over his son's nose, dotting it. Helplessly, a smile beamed up on his face, as his son cooed against his father's touch.

"As angelic as his mother is." He uttered, before resting his head against your shoulder.

"She will be dealt with, Y/N. Rest assured, I will speak with her and it will be the last time we speak of this matter again. She did not deem me fit to be King before, she will now."

[lotties-ashwagandha]

yellowjackets + summer themed dates (headcanons)

how the adult yellowjackets would take you on summer themed dates, gender neutral reader/no pronouns used

SHAUNA

forget a date she’s taking the two of you on vacation

callie’s left home for college, jeff is out of the picture, and she needs to RELAX with you

i can see her being a florida girl, she would take you to a beach with a nice hotel with a SPA!! shauna sadecki spa addict

she spends an unreasonable amount of money on those fancy little mixed drinks that are called random shit like Mermaid Soup Kitchen Bra Clasp On The Lazy River yk what I’m talking about

overall tho sugar mommy shauna gets so extra in the summer

buying you things just because she can , jewelry , clothes , whatever you want

also you have so many pics to post on instagram and she wants to be in EVERY SINGLE ONE of them to show off that she can take you places and no one else can, it’s also a great way to get back at jeff after she leaves him for you lolololol

LOTTIE

lottie’s summer dates,,,,,again she might take you on vacation bc she’s rich and she can if you want her to but honestly i think she would prefer to stay at the wellness center sorry girls

she would try to convert you to her weird lottie religion through dates but not in an invasive way in a “let’s go meditate in the woods 🥹” sort of way

dates where you have lunch in the woods! lisa making all your food obviously bc rich girl lottie cannot cook and she doesn’t want you doing everything yourself because it’s HER date she’s taking you on

its like she’s taking inspo from twilight like come on girl see me sparkle in the woods

sorry

she shows you her beehives too and that sounds dirty but I don’t mean it like that

she just has lots of fun facts about bees

she would be such a picnic girl I just have to say it again okay that’s her aspiration is to have a nice quiet spiritual picnic alone with you

alone with you …… 😇😁🥴

oh ALSO farmers markets w lottie how could i forget

TAISSA

if you live close to a beach (we’re pretending you live close to a beach) she loooooves going on beach dates

an excuse to see you in a swimsuit??? she will take it !

she cooks you dinner and then you eat by the water, OR sometimes you take sammy together during the daytime and it becomes a family outing. you make sandcastles with him and taissa gets really intense about making sure they’re “structurally sound”

the two of you take sammy out for ice cream too on hot days debate her fav flavor in the comments

anyway taissa would probably propose to you on a beach too trying to be like in the movies but it’s way more awkward

not in a bad way tho in a cute way bc she has no idea what the fuck she’s doing

but she is TRYING and you can see it

VAN

van is one of those people that celebrates summerween and christmas in july and she will absolutely rope you into it

you have movie marathons i say this in every headcanon post i do for dates with van but the autism is so strong all you do in a relationship with her is watch movies ok accept it

she would enjoy eating outside at restaurants especially new restaurants, i can see her taking you for a tour of whatever cafes or restaurants have opened recently and you eat in the outdoor dining areas if there’s some available

GOING THRIFTING TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!! going thrifting with van. making her try on summer clothes bc she needs a new summer wardrobe

outdoor movie nights are also a must

can also see her going hiking with you

big 80s lesbian aesthetic from van in the summer

NATALIE

honestly as soon as summer came and it got hot out she would just lock herself inside

however that doesn’t stop fun date nights

who doesn’t love breaking into the motel vending machine in a heatwave and then going inside and binge watching true crime shows

you order delivery from your fav restaurant and then laugh when the delivery guy has to go out in the heat to give you your food

you might be able to get her to go to lotties farmers market shit but she will not enjoy it she’s only doing it for you , she would much rather be inside

you could get high w her tho!

MISTY

would take you on a date to one of those farms where you pick a bunch of strawberries and blueberries and shit yk what i mean idk I’ve never been to one but ??

would love going to the zoo with you and she would take a bunch of pictures for caligula and get him something from the gift shop

you’d have to convince her not to steal any of the animals bc yes misty you love polar bears but we CANT HAVE ONE IN THE BASEMENT!!

she would be such a nut for botanical gardens, aquariums, anything wildlife in the summer again the autism is strong in this one

would be so sweet to you the whole time and she would learn a bunch of fun facts about wherever you’re going beforehand and sharing them with you would be her love language

if you don’t listen she gets really sad and quiet

would also love to plant a garden with you if you like that sort of thing

<3

haaaappy summer thank u for reading :) I’m coming back with fics soon but I’ve been on my period and I’m in pain lmao

[evita-shelby]

What is the Devil without his Witch?

aka the divorved!dark Tommy x Eva getting back together post s4 au

cw: murder, unhealthy coping mechanisms, cursing, infidelity, psychological torture, pregnancy complications

never really gave into Eva and Tommy’s toxicity like this lol

somewhat inspired by @mischievouslittlecreature 's The Misery We Made and its upcoming sequels

taglist: @thegreatdragonfruta @zablife @call-sign-shark @hoodeddreams13 @vivianleighwishesshewasme

“No.”

Eva crossed her arms wishing she wasn’t on bedrest and could toss him out of her fucking house.

With Luca dead, his psyche worse than ever and now her darling ex-husband comes here to tell her this.

“Evie—” he begins again, and she reminds him he lost the right to call her Eva the night he fucked Grace while she was at home with their first child.

He had come back from his own grave that same day to find his wife and child gone. No word nor even a sign of where she had gone. Just divorce papers he had to sign if he ever wanted to see his son again.

She told him infidelity was something she’d never forgive from him, and he learned the cost of using Grace to piss off Campbell would cost him the only woman he loved. He claims he hadn’t wanted to, but he’d been too drunk to see his mistake until he saw it was Grace he had fucked and not Eva.

And of course, an opportunist like her would seize the chance to have him. She had claimed to have fallen pregnant by him and not her dead husband, and when Tommy refused to leave his wife for her, Grace had taken it upon herself to ensure he did.

Eva had cursed the twat to die for taking what belonged to her. Cursed her to never be loved in truth by Tommy, to never give him children, to be the bride but never the wife of Tommy Shelby.

The night Grace died, Tommy had been called away from the party by Section D and died on impact in the arms of the stranger talking to her. The night after Eva had learned Tommy had never been able to make himself love the woman he married in a big gaudy wedding he never wanted to have. Grace had known he was marrying her out of obligation to the dead baby and would serve only to further his place in high society, Grace had accepted thinking he could grow to love her as she loved him in those two years he delayed it hoping she’d seek out greener pastures.

And then because he was all alone in the manor he purchased with his first wife in mind, Tommy sought her out more and more. Even stayed with her in London in the wisteria covered villa he didn’t have the keys to.

They shared a living child, shared a love that did not die so easily no matter what the vapid bitch had tried, and Eva would be the keeper of Tommy’s heart even when the fire melts away their initials tattooed on his hand.

They made a blood pact when they married, cut their palms and bound themselves to each other for the rest of eternity. No piece of paper, no wedding ring on the rat’s finger nor even the dead bastard in her belly could ever take Tommy from his witch of a wife.

It had made her wish Grace hadn’t moved on to hell so quickly, the witch would’ve loved to see her face knowing Tommy had gone back to his true wife the night after Grace was buried in her family’s plot in Ireland.

Then he wormed his way back into her heart that day at the canal they used to walk by as lovers once upon a time. The nostalgia, the knowledge that no woman would ever fill the hole Eva left in his heart and the tender way they made love had the witch fooled into thinking they could have a second act.

This had resulted in Diane, the baby girl struggling to stay alive inside her because the discovery that Tommy drugs himself to hallucinate his idea of Grace had almost killed her weeks ago. Eva was on bedrest until the doctor could be sure her daughter and successor would survive to term.

“Ask your hallucination to marry you and save your career.” The witch stands her ground and hitting him where it hurts.

“Eva, I ---” Tommy has no words to explain let alone justify why he torments himself with Grace’s so-called ghost.

Guilt was a powerful thing.

He hadn’t loved her like he had loved and still loves Eva ---he had said so to Eva the first night he sought her out again--- and yet he sought out a version of Grace that never even existed: a woman who could sweet talk him into killing himself because he killed her and that is what he deserves.

After all, he thinks he killed her by not reigning in his brother. Eva had let him believe that because she enjoyed seeing him in agony for the hurt he caused her.

“For all your talk about me being the true love of your life, it seems that was also a fucking lie.” The witch twists the knife knowing how because it hurts him to have her call him a liar. Tommy could handle anything except failing someone he loves.

Besides if he truly intends to make his first mistake right with her now, it will cost him.

“I killed her, Eva, I couldn’t be the husband she wanted, and I was wishing it had been you the one by my side that night and every night before it while that fucker came and shot her.” He admits knowing Eva’s cursed to be understanding and never understood.

“I cursed her, cursed her for daring to take you from me, if anyone had the pleasure of killing that lying fucking whore, it was me.” Eva admits knowing he’d forgive her because it proved she still loved him.

They were fucked in the head; they cannot love like real people do and settle for this love that burns everyone who dares to touch it.

There is a strange sense of relief he has, the relief of knowing he stands a chance to enter the Garden of Eden once more and the relief of knowing his nights seeking absolution from the Grace that lives in his head are over.

They better be or Eva’s dispatching him to the ninth circle of hell with his second wife.

“Well, then I got robbed of those fucking sapphires.” He even dares to fight a smile.

Tommy has a chance, that’s all that matters to him anyways.

“I’m not giving you twenty years of my life so you can make me miserable again, Shelby.” The witch reminds him why she’s not agreeing to Polly’s grand fucking scheme to get them back together. Polly had been the one to tip a newspaper that Tommy had reconciled with his rather quite famous ex-wife and were expecting their second child and only responded with the words, ‘You’re welcome’ before fucking off to see Michael in New York.

“Then tell me what I have to do to get you to say yes.” The gangster sat at the chair by bedside because she’ll kick him out of her bed if he attempts to fill the space he used to have in it.

“No more women, not even the one in your head.” It was the reason their first marriage failed; Tommy used his cock to get what money nor fear could. If he wanted to have a wife and a career he’d have to change. “The moment you go back to your old habits, I will take the children and destroy your precious career while I’m at it.”

Their first divorce had left him on the brink of ruin and being forced to take Churchill’s offer to survive it. The second one would force her to grind him into sand underneath her heel.

“You have my word…as long as there’s no one else for you too.” He is not surprised by her words; he’s always known she’s possessive of him just as possessive he is of her. Eva is not ashamed to admit she took lovers just to prick at his jealousy.

Eva had held Tommy’s gaze as Grace’s blond cousin ate her out in the library on his wedding day. The man had been humiliated and killed by him in the woods, Tommy had cornered Eva in a corridor stained with the man’s blood on his collar and just when Grace came looking for him, Eva showed the blonde she’d never relinquish her hold on Tommy.

It should’ve been us in that church, I never should’ve hurt you, love; he’d said so earnestly entirely unaware his new wife had watched them fuck with wild abandon after he had distracted her with a fuck upstairs, so she’d stop pestering him about the Russian Job. Sex was not how Tommy measured his love for his women; he led Lizzie and Grace on because his sweet and tender way in fucking managed to fool women into believing he loved them.

Jessie Eden will learn the hard way he was merely using her. If she was not important, Eva would’ve given her the mercy of death.

“Any other requests, Mrs. Shelby?” her blue eyed soulmate asks using the name she’d never removed so Grace would be forced to correct people and see their disappointment it’s not the enigmatic woman making society eat out of her hand but instead it was poor dull as dish water her. Mousy Jane Seymour had a son in order to leave a mark after Anne Boleyn, Eva had ensured her temporary replacement didn’t even taint the mausoleum in Arrow House.

“You get clean, or I walk.” This was more out of genuine concern for his wellbeing than taking away his ‘fun’.

He is touched by it, by the change in tone for this request as they get to the parts that are for more his benefit than hers.

It will be difficult, she’s been there when the bullshit court ordered her to get sober for her actions that night on January 1st, 1918. Worst six months of her life, but she did it and she knows it was her then fiancé, Leopoldo, who assured his father, the President she sought to overthrow, that what Eva needed was time to put herself together again.

“Only if you’re getting me through it, love. You were right when you said I was a weak man.” For all his façade of strength and unmovable as stone, Shelby was none of that once you got to the real one.

He had thought himself too smart to fall victim of a too strong drink, or something slipped into his drink by a desperate woman who thought he was the only one for her.

Tommy had fallen apart one night into his first vacation, his housekeeper had called her and put him on the phone while a maid had taken Charlie fearing he may hurt him in his drug fueled stupor.

“John would haunt me if I didn’t get you through it.” The witch assures him and pats the empty space in her bed allowing him to return to her in truth. She did not have many demands, just three. “And I need a husband just as your children need a father, you can’t let the guilt of causing your own misery deny you the chance to finally fix it, Tom.”

She never held back for him, he didn’t want that from her, he wanted the rose with its thorns and all.

“Always the healer, aren’t you?” he tried to touch her, yet the witch forbade him from doing so with a look. He would not have her until he abided by these terms. He will not lay even a finger on her until all his whores are gone, until there is no opium nor laudanum or morphine that he could use to drug himself out of his mind and one other thing he must sacrifice if he wishes to reenter heaven,

“Yes, though I will not be as kind and gentle as before. You angered your goddess by seeking a false idol, Thomas Shelby.” The dark-haired beauty reminds him of its far from over.

“Ask anything from your penitent husband, love. I’d give you half my kingdom if need be.” Shelby has always liked playing the devoted worshipper of the goddess who graced him with everything he squandered for nothing.

“I want every trace of her destroyed.”

Eva Shelby’s triumphant arrival at Arrow House greets her with a sober Tommy who has not touched a woman since that morning he asked what it would take for her to remarry him and everything Grace Shelby had in the home she only inhabited for a month piled up and doused in gasoline just for her.

“We’re bound by blood, čovexanii. If my god demands a sacrifice to forgive my sins, I will give it gladly.” Thomas Shelby hands her the lighter she gave them on their first Christmas together and allowed her to burn away a period of his life no one will be bothered to remember.

What is a piece of paper to blood pact? What is duty to love? What is the devil without his witch?

[goodgirlsdoithisway]

The danger of friends and family.

Coming into my place as a woman has been difficult. I've been a feminist most of my life, believing I need to be free and do as I please. I surrounded myself with like-minded people, and kept pushing on even though I was suffering. These people had me convinced that I was unhappy because women have been "oppressed" by the patriarchy, and I just needed to rise above.

Here's the problem with this train of thought. Not everyone is capable or has the correct tools to survive alone in this world. Some people need structure and guidance to live. Most women fall into this category. Sure, we can do it, but it's incredibly hard, incredibly stressful, and it's a lifelong investment to work hard instead of smart.

Then, I looked into tradwife material. I started looking at how happy these women were. Sure, you occasionally see the sad ones living this life, but they are just full of resistance, like I was. These women made life look fun. What girl doesn't want to have a life where they don't have to worry about money, or politics, or drama? No internal struggles, just the calm acceptance of giving yourself to something bigger. A man.

My friends and family all called me out on this, saying I'm being red pilled. I told them I'm still committed to diversity and I love everybody, and I know I have the option to chase whatever dream I want, and that this was my dream. Not a single one believed in me. A few stopped talking to me altogether. I mean, I'm fucking trans for fucks sake. It's not like accepting my place under men means I'm all of a sudden A Trump supporter. No thank you, although I do hope to see some things revolving around women to pass, either way. We shouldn't be allowed to vote, hold jobs, or go anywhere without a man. Hell, Afghanistan just passed a law where no woman is allowed to speak in public, or to another woman at all. This would be great. No more toxicity spreading like wildfire, hurting our true place.

It's crazy how, when you go against the grain, you get demonized. It took its toll. I started thinking it was just a stupid fantasy I was grabbing onto because I wasn't working hard enough to make my life mine.

Then, with those few friends gone now, I started to realize I was feeling great in those moments I was embodying serving men. And without those extra comments, I was starting to be able to ignore the others saying those things. And as I cut more people off, I felt so much better. I felt deep inside that this was the right path. I knew that serving men was what I was created to do. It was like a certainty.

So I started reading more about it, embodying it, envisioning it. I set those feminist views aside and really devoted myself...I'm never going back.

Friends are toxic to a trad relationship. Family are toxic to a trad relationship. Even other trad wives can be turned, and in turn, turn you. Feminism is powerful because it promises unattainable visions of freedom. Friends and family can exacerbate that and poison your mind. When you devote yourself to this lifestyle, which I believe all women should, the adjustment is rough because there's so much propaganda out there, manipulating you into giving up the biggest, best, most fulfilling life a woman can have, a life of dedicated servitude.

It would be perfect to have a man who lives off grid with no electricity, no phone, no outside communication. To be taken by him, to his home, never allowed to leave or have visitors so that I may focus solely on Him would be the perfect life. Imagine forgetting people exist outside of Him. The only person you'll ever see again is the one you serve. No jealous friends to try to take you away or poison your mind. No family to pretend they know what's best for you. No. Only Him.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2024-09-29

(Previous post - current page 666)

Section 6 is finally here! (And the part at the bottom is gone, possibly never meant to be clickable?!) Time for possibly the last or second-to-last portion of one of my favorite Homestuck storytelling sections so far, let's see if and how this situation ends!

Time to see if it really HAS been a whole eight years before she finishes her therapy like the joke Davepeta left on last time, or if it'll add up to 6 for the whole thing to go with the Hell/purgatory/666 theme, I suppose! *click*

"LATER"

Well, I suppose it isn't going to tell us HOW LONG just yet...

Ooh Davepeta's theme again, it sounds a bit jazzier than usual if I'm not imagining it, like a slight remix!

Gosh she looks so proud and happy! (Even though the next line could easily pull the rug out from under us.) I can't wait to see grown-up Vriska having almost-sort-of resolved her biggest issues! (No change in her sprite when I compare to my earlier screenshots, although that doesn't tell us much about how much time has passed since there was always a good chance she had grown as much as she's going to physically the prior new sprite switchup.)

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < its b33n a long ass time but were cr33ping up behind the grand finale DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < that finale is never gonna s33 it coming

:D

VRISKA: The final 8oss.

Ooh, who is it? I mean, probably herself obviously. But who else could it be? There are possibilities I'm sure but they're not coming to mind easily. I'm reminded very much, the way I have been this entire time, of the conversation in original Homestuck where the retcon-returned Vriska berated her possibly-inverted ghost self, insulting her and shouting her down in a way that was wrong and proved all the ways the version of her who HADN'T survived had grown and the one who HAD survived hadn't. She insisted that being the hero and hiding her self-hatred to go have an Epic Final Story Battle with Lord English was the only way forward for her while everyone else was escaping the bounds of canon to enjoy a life and hopefully true happiness outside the story's confines, and what she'd gone up to before The Plot Point was her reward, consigned to irrelevance again and now WITHIN the Plot Point shown that none of what she'd been pursuing up until now would have ever made her happy, or into a better person. Now she has to finish learning that lesson, or at least get close enough, of what to actually do and what true freedom ("Ultimate Freedom") and happiness is to finally do what's right for her and potentially everyone around her.

I guess that means I expect her to have to "fight" herself, because she's been the enemy this whole time, right? Everyone she's "reconciled" with has been, in effect, the reflection of those people that exists within HER Heart, much like Jake was able to invoke Brain Ghost Dirk. Lines in here in previous sections indicated that she really is "alone", that these people she's talking to are an illusion and really besides her tagalong therapists she's the "only one here", the only one keeping herself here and torturing herself. Because SHE'S always been the one torturing herself, and SHE needs to learn how and when and why NOT TO in order to be the best version of herself. The Jung in Homestuck shows itself again in the form of the shadow, in the lesson of merging to ascend, of accepting yourself and your flaws with a humility that doesn't deny your ability to affect the world around you, to understand how to leave your mark on reality and how you're WORTH doing so, without stamping down the wills of others.

I'm rambling and stalling, let's see what they have for us.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < master hand, your days are fucking numbered

I know this is just a smash reference, but does Vriska think she needs to go at Doc Scratch again? His chess playing with her on the board is sort of some "master hand" shit, I'd think.

VRISKA: More like minutes!

A clock hand joke perhaps?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < finally ready to take that final step

whatisitwhatisitwhatisit :D

VRISKA: I needed a 8reather!

Huh. I didn't think that maybe she had been just, not going back in AT ALL after the Doc Scratch thing and maybe just, resting for a LONG time that's about to be divulged after the first try, or perhaps multiple tries?

Oh wait is that a Breath aspect and freedom pun hint too? You can't always buckle down and go at your responsibilities (Blood) all the time or you'll snap like a rusty chain.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you sure did!

I know I'm stopping like, every line, but... I'm sensing a punchline coming of THE BREATHER'S BEEN X YEARS.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *a tear begins to well up in dps eye behind their shades* DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *they f33l like a mom s33ing their freshly pupated charge about to finish their final trials and march off to the subgrubs or maybe a dope ass cave* DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *dp wonders will they be safe out there? will she make use of all the lessons theyve learned here?*

Dave and Nepeta as a fusion is never not fun and interesting to listen to.

I don't expect The Plot Point to have "fully cured her" so to speak because not even comprehensive therapy is the full answer to solving your issues, and because we still have a good amount of plot LEFT besides all the attention Vriska is sucking up here of it. But if she leaves The Plot Point having identified her issues, confronted them, and with a true resolution to accept herself AND her flaws and do better out there in the real or quasi-real world, with a bit more of an understanding of how to ACTUALLY strive to be the best version of herself (the answer to the ultimate riddle) and begin honestly trying without much leftover regret, then yeah. That may be all she needs from here. We'll see.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *will she remember to wipe the lid?*

O-of what? The toilet? Huh? >_>"

(Is this a stealthy reference to Vriska being a trans gal in side content as per Toblerone and urinating standing up...?)

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383

WAIT WHAT? Was she always here?!? Did I forget a comment about her showing up before? Is she real?? She's a sprite who DIED, isn't she, which would mean that since this isn't a reflection of Vriska's, sprites still HAVE ghosts that went to the Furthest Ring and could be sucked down here?! This is a heck of a random sprites-having-ghosts confirmation!

...I could have sworn that the joke of Fefeta being so talkative but never doing so onscreen was repeated SOMEWHERE in HS^2 since Beyond Canon and my liveblog of it resumed, but I can't freakin' remember where. I think I was just coincidentally talking with a friend about Fefeta's explosion recently on a random subject matter and I'm confusing it with having read/heard SOME mention of her again in the comic. Like from Roxy or something. Roxy might have brought up her past with Fefeta to remind us she existed so she could be dropped again on us in here, or... fuck I'm confused. Someone let me know if we had any clue Fefeta was here or mention of her elsewhere in Beyond Canon, or if her living again had been confirmed elsewhere before this, because my memory could NOT be failing me harder right now.

VRISKA: *The Thief proudly puffs out her chest with her hands on her hips and her 8ack to the sun, looking heroic and 8adass.*

--Okay I know that Vriska HAS roleplayed before, or we've been told enough that she has, but doing so ONSCREEN so shamelessly with Davepeta speaks of a really really strong friendship she'd have to be pretty vulnerable with them to do this, I think. Which is adorable.

Also, her back to the sun, huh? Nah, no need to dig into that.

VRISKA: Ha! You've got nothing to fear. VRISKA: I'm older and wiser now.

And the time it's taken punchline is coming aaany second now...

VRISKA: I want to thank you, too.

AWW! Gosh she's improved SO MUCH to be talking so freely vulnerably; the last time she approached this sort of opening-up was the moirallegiance with Terezi that was always too one-sided because she never intended to listen to her moirail's advice, back in the last stretch of original Homestuck.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < what for DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i barely did shit

HAH! Don't be modest, you kept her (relatively) sane this whole time! Davepeta looks genuinely confused, that's hilarious.

VRISKA: Haha yeah, 8ut I'm glad you were here anyway. VRISKA: You and everyone else! FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383

EXACTLY. You all spent X years with her in here just to keep her company!!! That's not nothing, that's a whole fucking ton of something! Even if I get the feeling that The Plot Point was partially a sink of sorts to suck up all the ghosts from the Ghost Rain and keep them from mucking up the place.

But no seriously, was Fefeta here before??? Did I genuinely forget she was? Because I'm finding it hard to believe I hadn't noticed her and the implications a formerly exploded sprite surviving here would have had before.

VRISKA: ........

Yeah I'm apparently with you there. XD Is she running into the same confusion as me? (Or is the fact that there are sort of two half-Nepetas here about to invite a conversation about Heart and the Ultimate Self again?)

VRISKA: So, DP, you're half Nepeta, right?

Oh, it is!!! :D (And Fefeta's just a sprite, or a ghost of one, not a sprite squared and thus automatic Ultimate Self of both Dave AND Nepeta.) We're about to get some Heart aspect to help stick in Vriska's mind to break down the ultimate answers for her and the audience I bet.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < yeah VRISKA: Well, more of a whole Nepeta, along with a whole other dude. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < ... yeah? FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383 VRISKA: 8ut Fefeta's also a whole Nepeta!

It feels like Vriska shouldn't be too confused on this, unless she's gotten lucky and subconsciously sensed that there's an answer she needs for herself, here.

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < ...

Just don't explode on us again :p

VRISKA: So like... how does that work?

Vriska, you've met who knows how many alternate copies of literally everyone, right?

Nooooo don't make her Fefetasplode again!

VRISKA: Why are there two Nepetas?

A MEOW SOUND EFFECT AND THEN SHE FADES INTO NOTHING. Dammit!!!

I mean, solid joke, sure, except on the Fefeta lovers, but. Is this a consequence of Davepeta being an Ultimate Nepeta and sucking up any spare nonliving Nepeta air in the room passively when it's pointed out? All of HS^2, plus the Epilogues, had a theme in part of Dirk concentrating his power as an Ultimate Self by taking parts of himself back in from places like Candy where it wasn't convenient to exist to achieve his ultimate (hah) goal, which it was IMPLIED made him more powerful-- and we just saw alt!Calliope lose power when she divided herself and have to spend time meditating to reunite enough of herself to control any sort of Jade body again. (Which again, makes her super vulnerable to being disrupted by a Prince of Heart, by the way, which I have no clue how she can be so arrogant as to dismiss and think she can do this with just her squad.)

(Did I mention that there's a TINY chance that Ultimate Davebot's chosen purpose, in alt!Callie's quest to tie up all the loose ends and bring the plot back together, might be to have him scratch Caliborn's session so that alt!Calliope could properly exist? You know, my old debunked-and-defunct Third Scratch theory, the three scratches on Gamzee's face? Oh shit that post has old broken image links I need to fix too, I'll do that by tonight. It's only a small chance, though. EDIT 20240930: After sleeping on it, it seems even less likely than I thought, actually. Alt!Calliope's ship with Davebot and Aradia on it is headed for Dirk and Rose's new planet-- for Davebot to pull off what I just proposed, he'd normally need to use time travel on Earth C to leap to the distant near-death of its star when the cherubs lived and get an easy route into Caliborn's session. I can't say it 100% rules it out, especially if Davebot might (or might not) be able to rewind his entire ship journey when he's done with it to make a full Spacetime move instead of just Time; and that's given that when they entered the Meat timeline they even started at the Meat version of Earth C anyway, too, which is only really an assumption. But it doesn't seem to add up to alt!Callie's need for Davebot in the confrontation itself, at least.)

Okay back to poor, sweet Fefeta just having vanished under the slightest bit of scrutiny.

VRISKA: ... What the fuck was that? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you just fucking sent dear sw33t precious fefeta to sprite city.

Is that a literal Sprite City like the kingdoms founded on Earth C where Jasprose was hanging out, or a figurative Sprite City as in sprites tend to die?

Does an Ultimate Nepeta's presence here mean that unless avoiding scrutiny (Voidily) they all become part of the present Ultimate Nepeta and can't exist in this space at the same time? Also with the Umineko connection pointed out last time as something this whole sequence is apparently referencing, I know from my partial experience from the series that there's precedent for someone unable to exist and falling apart if their true paradoxical origins are revealed.

VRISKA: ???????? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < hahahaha anyway

NO NOT ANYWAY, EXPLAIN

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i was just fucking around earlier but honestly, im actually gonna miss you

Yeah, much like her ghost self from the pre-retcon timeline, this Vriska was likely a lot more gratifying to hang out with. (NO EXPLANATION AT ALL FOR FEFETAFADEOUT, GREAT)

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i think im f33ling a goodbye glomp coming on

Yeah, they would. (Sorry for quoting and commenting on basically every irrelevant line it's become ingrained habit already and we've only been back here a few times aaaa)

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < oh yeah sorry

This is too fun a reaction for me not to screenshot, though. Yeah, personal space, Davepeta! Consent of contact!

Ohhhkay I think this is my sign that if I don't stop screencapping and retyping every single line of dialogue I'm never going to get through this final section. Time for more selective quoting and paraphrasing of action!!! (I promise! Kinda!)

VRISKA: Alright fine, one hug 8efore I crush this and I'm outta here.

Daww. :D

I wonder where everyone here is going to go... I don't think Davepeta is going to voluntarily stop existing, but they're pretty hard to pin down.

Yaaaay! :D :D :D

Davepeta you are by NO means allowed to stop existing once the Plot Point is resolved by the way. You can be as plot irrelevant as you want, just don't stop existing.

Oh shit, it's somewhat literal.

One of the eight-balls she compulsively broke, "increasing her bad luck" and leaving things to step on earlier that Kanaya pointed out she could have found her perceived luck returning just by cleaning up. The metaphor that she's been the one putting HERSELF through hell for much of her life, especially ever since she escaped her parent.

VRISKA: I've 8een waiting for this one.

You know who it is?! Is it you?

VRISKA: I have a pretty good feeling I know who's waiting on the other side.

Oh come on, I didn't break the habit of retyping every single line of dialogue at all!!! She's just guessing. Which raises the chance significantly that this might instead be Terezi she has to confront, within herself, to help bring this full circle and decide what she has to do. Everything about their arcs seems to be leading the two of them together again, and not just in their ghost versions, I feel like.

It's just as possible though that when we finally see the message Vriska left Terezi at the end of the epilogues, though, still unseen, that that represents the final word between the Scourge Sisters and these versions of themselves are meant to find their own paths, even though Terezi spent all those years searching the wreckage of the Furthest Ring for her. I can't say for sure.

Okay I'm going to start paraphrasing... pff, Davepeta lampshading the Silent Hill mind prison -ness of this, yeah plenty of works have had this sort of trope and that's certainly a good one (so much as I've heard/read of it anyway).

The quite possibly final goodbye from Vriska to Davepeta! Hope "see you around" remains literal and Davepeta doesn't go to Sprite City </euphemism>.

Wishing her luck!

Black screen, Vriska waits...

A tree fading in in the distance... multiple colors of tree... this feels like Terezi.

VRISKA: Hey!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: Is that you?

Ohh fuuuck the touching slow piano music is kicking in. D':

It's time for emotions

VRISKA: I knew it would 8e you!

I can't tell from here if it's her or if it's Ghost (Vriska) but... oh wait. Wait if all the ghosts are here. Could she be confronting, possibly... ACTUAL ghost Vriska with the actual ghost Terezi that reunited with her? That would be a knife-twist she'd learn a lesson from. Clicking further...

VRISKA: You were the one thing missing from this!

D': What a thing to say.

VRISKA: Even if you're just a phantom designed explicitly to torture me, I'mso happy to see-

It's not her like you wanted, is it? And you're the one who picked a path that you thought would lead yourself away from her forever. YOU kicked her away for the sake of your own glory. So maybe it wouldn't be as simple as just seeing her again here and making amends, hm? Let's see.

VRISKA: you...?

Oh this is totally DEFINITELY the ghost (Vriska) that she chewed out in ways that everything she just spent time in The Plot Point showed were completely wrong. The time she REJECTED her inverse shadow self instead of ACCEPTING and merging with all the parts of herself she hated most, showing how and why she was on the path to fighting Lord English and abandoning Terezi instead of finding any sort of true happiness for herself. Let me find the part in Homestuck AND where I talked about it, to link y'all... GOSH without the full text of Homestuck on command-F/control-F it's so much harder to find stuff like "(VRISKA)"...

Yep, "VRISKA" first showed up to see ghost "(VRISKA)" when I wrote this upd8 reaction in June 2015, then went on for the bulk of the conversation over here on my blog, and here in the comic. I explained how she was dressed like a Page, representing her shadow self, her inner Page of Void-- and still on a happier path than the main Vriska who gave HERSELF such an unjustified verbal beatdown for seeming "pathetic". If you want more from back then, look at my posts tagged Vriska from late June 2015.

It completely fits that Vriska would find the disappointment of not having Terezi here, AND simultaneously have to confront herself in this form as the so-called final boss.

Heck... I figured this hell was driven by Vriska's Heart, her ultimate existence across all timelines, but what if (VRISKA) has been having some specific hand in showing the other Vriska how she can finally be happy, like she figured out?

(Anyway that search took like an hour, I'm finally clicking forward now.)

Oh the way the music just STOPS when (Vriska) turns to the camera. THAT'S a sure sign Vriska isn't taking this well. But she's going to be able to figure this one out without any return trips, this time, I'm sure of it. *click*

Oh, THIS music is different from what I expected. Interesting. It's too slow for my mind to figure out if it's a play on Vriska's old walkaround theme.

GOSH SHE'S SO FREAKIN' TINY D':

Clicking... they stare back and forth a bit more...

Aww, Vriska's awkwardly holding her arm. (I'll resist the urge to screenshot absolutely everything.) She may really be catching onto the fact that she has to apologize to herself. Learn from herself-- from ALL of herself. The parts of herself she used to loathe most because she saw her own weakness in them. That's her Jungian Shadow.

And... perhaps it's also in part why we were reminded again of an Ultimate Self's being all of someone just before she dove in.

VRISKA: Alright, fine. VRISKA: Makes sense I'd have to do this eventually.

Yeah, you're smart enough to get it a bit already.

VRISKA: I'm sorry. VRISKA: For all that shit I said to- did to you.

No-- I mean, sure, that's a start, Vriska, but you don't just have to APOLOGIZE to yourself, your shadow, your perceived flaws. You have to ACCEPT yourself. That's more than a quick apology can do.

VRISKA: It was wrong of me to hate you for getting soft. VRISKA: For knowing when to quit.

Holy shit. SHE FUCKING GETS IT. WOW HAS SHE COME SO FAR. This is exactly what we've been saying since nearly a DECADE ago when that argument happened, just like what I said from my upd8 reaction back then to above!

And (Vriska) gives her back an expansive, pained shrug, huh?

VRISKA: HUH???????? What the hell...

Or... wait. No, she couldn't be. That wasn't a shrug was it. Was (Vriska) offering... a HUG?

That's the answer, isn't it? And why we got a Davepeta hug too? That on the inside, when you finally reach a hand out and offer to accept your shadow as an essential-but-not-predominant part of yourself... your shadow is willing to reach back. She was willing to accept Vriska all along if Vriska just tried. But the fear of one's flaws is a horribly hard thing to conquer, to love yourself-- your ENTIRE self-- enough to take that crucial step.

--yeah, that's an offer to hug it out, isn't it? Vriska probably needs a bit to accept that it's really THAT EASY. Because it wasn't. It wasn't easy. Vriska needed to spend ALL those years to really understand enough to do something like this.

And I'm heavily betting that when Vriska and (Vriska) hug, there's a good chance THEY'LL MERGE. Embracing and assimilating the Jungian Shadow, just like the ascent to God-Tier and merging with the dreamself, except this is part of how you become, in a sense-- at least closer to-- your Ultimate Self. Jung-- "while "no one should deny the danger of the descent [...] every descent is followed by an ascent", and assimilation of – rather than possession by – the shadow becomes a possibility." "NANNASPRITE: All the gates do, John. To ascend, each time you must first descend!" Jung-- "We begin to travel [up] through the healing spirals...straight up." Right from the spirograph gates above their houses to their dreamselves and merging to God-Tier, Sburb and Homestuck has been loaded with intentional Jungian psychology references, and this is just the latest instance of the story spelling it out for us.

Anyway, clicking forward. Yeah, Vriska's nervous. She isn't huggy, and this is one of the hardest embraces one can possibly make, whether she realizes it now or not given all the work she's done to get here.

VRISKA: You're asking for too much. VRISKA: You're really going to make me do this? VRISKA: ...

See? It's no wonder this is so hard for her. She was always in the way of herself.

What will you do?

HAH!

Clicking... she hesitates further, of course...

VRISKA: I...

You're so damn close. But that's the reason this is the final 8oss, isn't it? Accepting the shadow is the hardest step. Accepting that she deserves it, that she can deserve to forgive even herself for hurting herself.

VRISKA: I can't.

You can!

And... OH WOW SHE ACTUALLY OLLIES OUTIE?!?!?!??!?!?

It really IS that hard for her to accept herself. I've long covered exactly why it can be the hardest thing of all. Not inverting, but integrating, balancing, accepting ALL of yourself, the good and the bad, your right to make a difference and the importance of recognizing where you may do wrong. Everything Doc Scratch lectured her to fear about herself in part 5.

So she's back at the beach. Clicking...

And that's the end of the upd8. That was... excellent. I loved it.

Seems like we need to wait one more step for her to finally embrace herself. But that's all that's left! Just one more step.

See you next time!

[thesnazzysharky]

Waffling about/reviewing the notes in SJSM because I think they're cool. 2/2

Make sure to check out part 1 before this one. Or don't. I'm not your mom.

Anyways, time to review some more notes (with a smidge of some theorizing this time)! These will be the randomly generated ones. Less lore, but more character in these.

Romantic Victim

At first this place just seemed cute, but I've been here for days now… I'm feeling quite parched now, and I keep getting this feeling like I am being watched by something. This is not romantic at all…

Starting with the hopeless romantic, we have our first set of notes that the player will encounter, so obviously the Romantic Victim is the most memorable and iconic of the note writers, for good reason too.

The first note has them growing to become skeptical of the place and feeling like they're being watched by something (perhaps Spooky or Taker) which most likely will make the player connect to them right of the bat as they'll probably experience a similar feeling as they walk through the first few rooms where nothing is happening.

The note could've ended there and it would've been a typical but not too bad left over horror note from someone who came here before you, but then you read the "this is not romantic at all..." line. A line that will confuse the player and perhaps get a chuckle out of them because, well, what the hell is "romantic" about this mansion?

Whatever the case, the player will get to collect more of these notes and follow the little journey of this strange individual that repeatedly uses the word "romantic" for some reason. Apparently when the romantic came here, they didn't seem to bring anything to drink, as their notes mention how they're constantly thirsty, to the point of drinking some of the ink they're using to write their notes.

Ink… Not quite quenching my thirst. Taste is terrible, stains are terrible. I don't think drinking it was a very romantic idea.

Later they are able to find a bottle of red wine though! Although its a bit strange how it's described as having no label on it and tasting metall- oh wait, that's fucking blood isn't it?

I don't think that was wine…

You don't say...

At this point it becomes clear that the romantic is not going to make it, especially when they later mention not coming across any of the notes they made, making them unsure if any progress is being made. And so, they leave their last note, accepting their romantic fate.

I think this is my last note. I'm going to die having never found my escape, but really that's not true. This place was like my escape. My escape from everything else. In the end my death is kind of romantic.

You can later find their corpse sitting in an elevator after this note and honestly it's kinda sad. In a game like this where you're completely alone and almost defenseless, to lose some form of company that you became attached to, even if it's just in the form of notes that were written by someone who passed long before you, is tragic. Especially with how they went out...

Then you realize the goofy ass pose that they died in lmao.

I mean, hey, they did go out in a pretty romantic way. They're straight up stylin with this snazzy ass pose! Now that's a way to go out!

We're not done with them just yet however, as they actually make a comeback in Endless Mode!

Aha! Yet again I have cheated the grave and shall proceed to escape these confines. While the thought of my death being quite romantic did cross my mind I believe my escape shall be profusely more so.

They claim they have cheated death somehow and plan to escape. Later notes mention how they suddenly feel healthy and no longer feel thirst or hunger; along with coming across the specimens, although they are no longer aggressive towards them. The eleventh note makes it clear as to what is going on.

A strange ghost girl appeared before me today in a rather upset and unromantic manner. She claims I am not doing my job and that I should report to my commanding officer immediately. I boldly stated that I have no commander as I drift wherever the wind takes me as I follow my own romantic journey. To this she acted confused and slowly sunk into the floor.

And so our pal catches a very minor case of being dead and becoming a ghost. Except they don't even realize they're dead.

I am beginning to wonder why I haven't required sustenance in what I guess has been more than two weeks. I at first theorized that tiny food particles are emitted into the air. I now know what a foolish thought that was since it is clear that I have been granted immortality as a romantic artist.

The next note mentions their skin changing, again, hinting that they're a ghost now. It also mentions that they have a romantic partner outside of the mansion and they believes that despite being a transparent ghost now, their partner will still care for them no matter what once they reunite. Not much to say on that other than I think it's quite cute, albeit a bit sad, since they don't realize they're trapped in the mansion and won't be seeing their partner anytime soon.

I noticed something strange today. My skin color has changed. I know this is probably ordinary since I haven't seen the sun in quite some time but it just came as a shock to me. But I know my romantic partner is out there and they will care for me no matter how transparent my skin becomes.

In the last note they wrote, Spooky comes to greet them once again... taking away their pen privileges once she had enough of their bullshit lol.

The ghost girl has returned and is glaring at me while I write this. She again claims I have a job here and that I'm not fulfilling it correctly. I tell her whatever job she thinks I have doesn't sound very romantic. She seems angrier now and states that if I don't stop she will take my pen privile___

Overall, I really like the Romantic Victim as a character and what they add to the game. Their simple, but still very charming character trait as a romantic makes them very memorable compared to if they were just some ordinary dude who wrote like an ordinary person; and it's because of their charm is probably why the player will end up getting attached to them despite never being able to interact with them. That said, there's some cool little details and depth with them. Such as how their first few notes are written in a dramatic and I guess fancy sort of way. Using double spacing and ellipsis to sell the affect.

But by the time they write their last note, this act and style of writing is dropped. Which actually makes this note more sad since it really shows that the romantic doesn't have the will to go on anymore.

There's also the neat detail of why they constantly use the word "romantic". They don't mean romantic as in love, but romantic as in an artistic sense; think of the Romantic Era of history for example. The notes found in Endless Mode make it more clear when they mention romanticism and how they're a romantic artist. A pretty subtle but neat joke.

I would say the notes they leave are great for beginner players as they basically tell them exactly what the tone of this game will be.

A mix between serious and unsettling horror (the romantic feeling like they're being followed, drinking ink out of desperation, and unknowingly drinking a bottle of blood) and goofy satire and comedy (the romantic using the word "romantic" in a situation that doesn't fit it and their corpse just being a cartoonish skeleton in a sexy pose).

Not to mention that the notes they leave in Endless Mode are probably the funniest notes in the whole entire game for me, especially when Spooky shows up and is baffled by their... nature.

Conclusion? They're a little confused, but they got the spirit. I hope they got to reunite with their partner at some point in the afterlife. 5/5

Tropes Victim

This place is finally starting to affect me. I've seen enough horror movies to know how to survive a simple ghost or two, but these monsters keep getting faster and stranger.

Looks like someone has caught main character syndrome. This person seems to have came here more prepared and got further than the romantic victim as they mention the specimens getting faster and stranger as they continue forward.

What makes them interesting though is that homie really thinks that just because they watched some horror movies and know typical horror cliches and tropes; they will survive due to being the "main protagonist".

Well I still haven't died so it appears I might be the protagonist, but I'm not entirely sure. I hope I'm not some side character that leaves notes for pointless exposition. Also I found a strange computer that gave descriptions of the monsters. And it seems like they are called 'effective' based on how many people they kill.

Who's gonna tell them? Anyways, the tropes victim seems to be taking a jab at the mfs who think they would survive if they were in a horror media due to knowing the tropes or thinking they would have better common sense than the victims who end up being killed. I really like it! Feels fitting to have this character in a game like this.

Something else to be said about them that I find quite funny is their second note.

In order to survive this house I need to keep writing notes. I must do everything a central protagonist would and hope this is one of those stories. 'Insert Obscure horror reference that no one gets and misinterprets as instructions somehow'

The "Insert Obscure horror reference that no one gets and misinterprets as instructions somehow" line is chuckle worthy when you first read it, but it becomes even better when you learn about what it originally said in older versions of the game.

The "tall man character" in question being a reference to Slenderman. However, some players didn't pick up on this and thought it was a genuine hint towards an enemy that could potentially be summoned by picking up too many notes. So, that lead to those players not picking up any notes and thus missing out on a big portion of the game. I feel bad for Kira. That must have been frustrating lol.

Anyways, I find tropes to be entertaining and fun. I love the self aware humor with them and they have some of the funnier notes in the game. Although I appreciate that's not all there is to them, as they do drop some hints towards what's going on with the mansion. Such as how the specimens are called effective based on how many people they kill and that the souls of the victims could be related to how effective they are as well. They also, similar to the Romantic Victim, went out pretty boldly. Completely accepting their fate as they realize they can be killed off due to not having traditional traits of a protagonist; confirming that they are indeed a side character.

It's sad to see yet another past victim lose all hope of surviving, but he does note that it was at the very least a nice experience for awhile. 5/5

Survivalist Victim

DAY 2. Food supply depleted. Water supply at 30%. Mental health deteriorating, leaving notes behind to help others and mark where I've been.

This victim's notes are on the more serious and dramatic side as they write down about each day they have been at the mansion and the steady decrease in resources and overall mental stability.

While the notes of the Romantic and Tropes Victim's have them start off doing pretty decently as they go through the mansion before their last notes shows them giving up entirely, the notes from this poor soul show how they were fucked from the start. Only 2 days and they had already ran out of food, become low on water, and their mental health is deteriorating.

Their journey doesn't become any better once they start having hallucinations and violent heart palpitations. Not to mention sleep deprivation and running low on phone battery.

They also start to question why they came to the mansion in the first place and that the hallucinations can apparently hurt them now (perhaps something to do with Specimen 5 or 7).

DAY 5. I can't remember. Why did I come here? Was there ever a purpose? I believe death is steadily approaching me now. The hallucinations can hurt me, I'm out of provisions, and I'm having sudden violent heart palpitations.

Judging by how quick they were to lose their mind, something tells me that the survivalist might have had some psychological problems similar to our protagonist and perhaps they came to the mansion for a not very happy reason...

Whatever the case, just like the previous victims, they end up writing one last note about accepting their fate. And boy does this one go hard in particular.

DAY 7. I can't tell the real from unreal anymore. My limbs refuse to move the way I want them to. I feel like I'm wading in a deep river that is always flowing against my direction. Now I will lay down and let the river flow over me. I will let it guide me to it's end. I know where I'm going anyway. This place, this entire place, is just a gyrating screaming rock in the vastness of an infinite kingdom. I'm going to rest now. I'll be watching over you.

God damn you dramatic ass mf. Going to burn the whole sheet of paper with the fire you're spitting.

On a serious note though, I like how this final note has this sense of bittersweetness with the "I'm going to rest now. I'll be watching over you." line. It's oddly comforting in a way. A nice change from the previous final notes which were just grim. A shame that most won't encounter this note on their first playthrough. It's great.

I like how these notes play it fully straight and serious, showcasing the effect the mansion itself can have on some individuals and how terrible it would be to be stuck in a mansion that seemingly never ends. As you get further into the game and encounter specimens that seem scarier and harder than the other, the change in tone with these notes feels fitting.

At first I found the Survivalist Victim to be pretty boring and not as interesting as the other previous victims, but the more I think about it, the more I start to like them and what they add to the game. 5/5

Lisa's Notes

You think you're clever don't you?

I've been watching you for a while now.

Why even bother filling your lungs?

Your blood smells so thick. I can hear the vessels oozing.

Do you feel safe?

Reading these won't help you. Only death can help you.

These are all the notes from Unknown Specimen 5's encounter. Aka Lisa.

Unlike the other unknown specimens, Lisa has a decent amount of buildup to her before she chases you. The chills that went down my spine when I first read "I've been watching you for a while now" and later kept getting more notes from faded Specimen 1's was a very memorable experience. SJSM at its best! Unfortunately these notes don't have much to them aside from being creepy and the effect they have is pretty much lost on a repeated playthrough of Endless Mode. They still leave a very good first impression though. 3/5

Child Victim

Mommy and Daddy love me very much! They told me they were throwing me a party!

And here we have the most depressing notes in the whole entire game.

This child's parents were apparently throwing a party at the mansion for some odd reason (I'll get into that later), but when the child actually goes there, their parents are nowhere to be found.

As they eat some of the cookies they were given for their "party", they wander around the mansion, confused and hearing strange noises, wondering if all of this is a game of sorts.

Later they end up falling down a hole. Hurting their leg and crying from the pain, eventually falling to sleep from exhaustion. They leave one final and ominous as hell note that states the following.

I fell asleep. My leg still hurts. I see Daddy he came for me.. It's not Daddy.

Okay. Despite these notes being very brief, there's a handful of things to say about them. First off, the child states that their parents were throwing them a party and said party took place at the mansion. Isn't that... kinda strange and suspicious? Why would these parents throw a child's party at a mansion where anyone who goes in never comes out? Even if they didn't knew about the mansion's past history for some reason, it's still pretty damn weird to throw a party at an old and seemingly long abandoned mansion. Why couldn't they just throw a party at their house? Or a relative's house? Or a friend's house? Or a picnic? Or basically any other common options to throw a party at that doesn't involve old and decrepit building's?

Considering the fact that the parents don't even show up anywhere at the "party" and the child was just given a basket of cookies and presumably not much else might imply this was done on purpose. The child states that "Mommy and Daddy love me very much!", but we don't know if that's actually true. The child could be an unreliable narrator in this case. They are a young and naive kid after all. A young and naive kid that could have had abusive or neglectful parents, but due to their young age and underdeveloped brain, they never recognized this. So what's going on here? Here's my thoughts. These supposed "parents" told their child they were going to throw a "party" for them. This wasn't an actual party. This was something to get rid of their child permanently. We don't know what events could have lead up to this, but it seems likely that these "parents" grew tired of raising their child and wanted to find a way to dispose of them. Perhaps through hearing about how those who enter into the mansion never come out or just hoping their kid gets lost, they send them to the haunted mansion on the hill. Giving the kid some cookies so they could eat and live for awhile. Hoping that they either die from starvation and thirst, get adopted by someone else, or meet some other grim fate. Whichever option worked.

So the child goes there, wandering the mansion for awhile, falls down a hole, and encounters a specimen that they at first think is their dad, but unfortunately it isn't. As for what specimen killed them, the likely answer is either Specimen 2 or 9. They're both human in appearance and I highly doubt the kid made it that far. You could say it's also possible they fell all the way down to Specimen 6's locale, but it's unlikely they would survive a fall like that.

Assuming that most of this theory is true... than holy shit! It was already depressing before, but this is 100 times worse!

Overall, I love how dark and tragic these notes are. Especially because it shows just how twisted and apathetic Spooky is by letting children just as old or younger than her die horribly in this place. Not to mention some of the ambiguity with what's going on with the parents or what specimen killed the child is great too.

Simple on the surface, but a decent amount of depth. 5/5

Spelling Errors Victim

DAy 1 I have enterd a spoopy ghost mansion. I do not know how long I will be here but I hope not too long.

Let's lighten up the mood by talking about this person who seems to have failed English class.

Similar to Survivalist Victim, this victim writes about the amount of the days they have been at the mansion.

Their first few days has them being almost completely indifferent to the mansion and its scares. Stating that a "spook" they came across wasn't as scary as they seen in some horror games; and that not having wifi was the scariest thing about the mansion. All while having some pretty bad grammar and spelling still not as atrocious and Godzilla stroke inducing as some people's grammar that I've seen on the internet, perhaps suggesting they're on the younger side, but clearly older than the Child Victim.

As they continue forward and start to run low on the cheesy curds they're eating, they state they will most likely die soon, but at least they were "hardcore" for making it pretty far on their (kinda) frightful journey.

Their last note has them die to a specimen coming closer to them in a hallway. Most likely Specimen 9.

Day 7 While I am at the end of my ropes I shall press on anyway. I have eating the last of the cheese curds and haven't found any new food. There is something down the hallway I believe. It's getting closer. OH whyyy. why has this has to happen to me?

Judging by the use of words like "spoopy" or "hardcore" and being the most concerned about not having internet instead of the literal monsters that could kill them; this person seems to have spent a lot of time on the internet. They definitely look like an irl nerd emoji behind those notes 100% lol.

At first I thought this writer's main gimmick was being indifferent to the mansion, but the spelling errors are the cherry on top and you get some pretty damn funny notes as a result. They're solely comic relief and don't have the same depth to them as the Tropes or Romantic Victim's, but I still enjoy them. 4/5

Jasper Midnight

NOTE I Dear Reader, I am known as Jasper Midnight. I appear to be trapped within a house of horrors so to speak. While at first glance I thought this was nothing more than a carnival fun house with scary pop outs and irritating ambience it has lasted quite longer than I expected. I am going to write these notes as I journey on in order to inform any unfortunate souls that follow me. Sincerely, JM

For the first time we have a victim that gives us their actual name. Or at least a nickname they're known by.

His first note has him write about how he thought the mansion was supposed to be a fun house of sorts while roaming in it, but then he realized he was trapped here. Deciding to write notes to inform any future victims. A typical start so far.

Things get more interesting however when he mentions encountering Specimen 3 in his second note. The way he describes the encounter is oddly casual and calm. Describing it to be a "glorious yet somewhat unfulfilling encounter". Sure is a weird way to describe an encounter with a spiderpede, but maybe he's just built different.

We learn in the third note and beyond that bro isn't just only unfazed by the horrors around him. He fucking loves them and this twisted mansion.

NOTE III Dear Reader, This mansion just continues to get better. I found a room today that was delightfully themed around rusted and abandoned asylums. I say 'themed' simply because it was too perfect to be real. I even found strange creatures holding onto the grated floor writhing in some sinister dance. Sincerely, JM

Damn. Guess he is built different. Especially because later notes show he actually makes it pretty far in the mansion. Encountering and surviving Specimen 8.

The rest of the notes basically show how much he genuinely loves being in the mansion. Morbidly describing it as a "nightmare without the haze of sleep or a daydream you would have while drowning" and that this journey has been "life changing" for him. Overall it seems like he enjoys all aspects of life, both the horrific and the bliss, and that is why he loves the mansion.

NOTE VI Dear Reader, The world is an ashtray, constantly burning out. It is full of hardship, turmoil, happiness, and love. And all of it is beautiful. Sincerely, JM

Unfortunately the last note has him die through unknown means. He takes like a champ as expected though.

NOTE VII Dear Reader, My life is spent, my fire snuffed. My body shakes and ejects blood. I cannot go any further though I wish I could. Continue after me and witness the beauty of the world. Witness the terrible and terrific. Sincerely, JM

The idea of someone being enthralled by the mansion was an interesting one and Jasper is a very lovable character because of it. Dude is just having the time of his life and honestly after these notes? I feel like he would be a fun and chill dude to hang with, even if he's a bit odd.

Easily one of my favorite note writers. 5/5

Spooky's Notes

Research Report #153 Through the spider portal I have come across a plethora of new horror designs for Specimen 1 as well as some new ways of recruiting soldiers. In today's dive I discovered a cluster of webs centered around short horror experiences as well as some sort of Italian cooking. I will continue to research this particular web cluster.

To my surprise, these notes are written by the silly big bad herself! Spooky!

Some very interesting notes we have here as they don't follow the traditional formula that the previous notes had. Focusing on giving us a bit of insight into Spooky's thought process and how she went about running GL Labs and constructing her plan to build her army.

The first few notes have Spooky come across a design she could use for Specimen 1. A creature called Jeff (obvious reference to Jeff the Killer) that she found through the "spider portal". Later on she tries to gain attention from the "LP people" and their viewers so she can gain more recruits, with mixed results. The last two notes mention how another house apparently already has the title "Spooky's House of Jumpscares" and so they want Spooky to change the name of her mansion. She has the funds to fight against this, but instead decides that she would rather spend the funds on noodles and scary things... of course... Quickly summarized all of that, but that's because I want to talk about the more specific details. There's some cool stuff here!

Right off the bat I love how these notes show how unknowledgeable Spooky is of the internet. Calling it a spider portal and calling websites web clusters (get it? The world wide web). Describing one of the web clusters as being "centered around short horror experiences as well as some sort of Italian cooking" (referencing creepypastas). Describing how she believes there are multiple Jeff's and some are crossbreeding with other monsters (possibly referring to AU's and OC's or maybe even ships). And describing YouTubers, specifically the gaming ones, as "LP people. She also doesn't understand the concept of spam, thinking people were genuinely referring to her advertising campaign as the canned meat product.

It's an interesting and cute addition to her character and it makes sense considering she died in the 60's. I also love how her childish side is shown in these notes in general. Girl literally stabbed one of her workers to death because they gave some minor criticism and later wanted to spend her funds on some noodles actually maybe that one is pretty fair. That part being particular because it implies that Spooky had the chance to kill the protagonist at basically any point in the base game and DLC's. She just chooses not to, which is interesting. Although I guess it has something to do with the "dying tragically enough to become a ghost" thing. Maybe outright killing her victims doesn't cut it.

The cherry on top of all this being the name change of Spooky's House of Jumpscares to Spooky's Jumpscare Mansion due to a copyright claim from some shitty mobile company having a canonical explanation in-universe.

I guess the only criticism I have is that for someone who's supposed to be 12 years old, Spooky sure does have some good grammar, descriptive language, and knows her big girl words. Although I guess it's not that hard to believe that she had plenty of time to expand on her writing and vocabulary in the few decades she has been at the mansion. So I'll let it slide. Absolute gold all around. 5/5

Vlogger

So um, I am writing notes down. I think that is the correct thing to do in this situation. I was filming the mansion for my urban exploration video channel but I think I'm trapped and I ran out of battery on my cameras hours ago.

Decided to save the most interesting for last. Here we have yet another victim. This one being an urban explorer with an interest in vlogging.

Usual deal as always with the first note. He realizes he is trapped in the mansion; the camera that he was using to film a video having long run out of batteries.

Later he comes across some elevators, but just like in the game, he has no choice but to go down. All he can do is hope that they'll stop at some point. More time passes and he encounters some Specimen 1's and is starting to run out of food and water. Pressing forward, he comes across Deer Lord's area where he grabs a particular weapon to defend himself.

Well readers, I found a greenhouse or garden area. It was pretty neat but it didn't help me much. I did find a cool Sickle thing in a 'tree'. I normally don't steal from the places I explore but I have this really uneasy vibe from this place and I want something to defend myself.

A sickle... intriguing...

Later on, he encounters more specimen locales.

Hey everyone, I wish my cameras had battery left. I found some really cool areas of this building. Some looked like a school of sorts and another might have been some kind of in house restaurant. I found some frozen (meat) there, but I'm not sure if I should attempt to eat it or not.

As he continues exploring in intrigue at first, he decides that he has had enough of the place as he thinks he's in life threatening danger now (Compared to before? More on this later...).

Okay guys, I am done with this place. As interesting as it may be I think I'm actually in life threatening danger here. I can't imagine it going on much longer and I've gone way too far down to get back up now.

Then we have this note that reveals the twist.

Well readers, I think I'm near an exit. I found another mansion like area. I feel really tired so I'm going to take a break here.

We're not done yet of course, but it looks like this vlogger fella really is the current host of Specimen 12. Making him the only human note writer that we see still alive in the game.

Moving onto the notes we find in Specimen 12, the vlogger assumes that he had finally found a resting place.

What is this? Wow, what a mansion! Inside another mansion. Maybe I've made it all the way to the end of the house. Maybe this is like a resting place or another entrance perhaps? Whatever the case, I think this is a good spot to rest.

He later becomes skeptical as he finds out the bricks and wood are just painted on and nothing inside the mansion feels real. He also claims to hear movement and voices below him, assuming them to be from other survivors.

Things go south real fast however as the third note jarringly shows our vlogger friend being paranoid and trying to hide from "him". As it turns out, this was not a resting place at all.

I can hear him coming down the hallway! I need to hide, but I don't know where. I now know this is not an exit or a resting place. It is just another specimen room! I think he's outside the door now.

At this point the vlogger has become full on paranoid now. Constantly hearing whoever his killer is despite knowing they're not there. Making him assume that the killer isn't even real but instead his own fears stalking him. They stumble around a bit before coming to this conclusion.

I have a theory. I think it's this pseudo mansion. I think it's playing with my head. I still hear him… I must find that man and kill him with the sickle I found in the forest…

Considering he's the current host now, he really did kill him... unknowingly dooming himself in the process. Now he has become Specimen 12's current host. Controlled like a puppet and forced to roam the mansion and murder anyone who enters it.

Now obviously I fucking love all of this and think it's very well done. When you're playing the base game for the first time, the twist of the killer being the one writing the notes in the locale is pretty good. However, the twist of this vlogger being the one to become Specimen 12's current host is even better! From one plot twist to another.

Now, I do want to theorize about one last thing with this victim. Something that I find interesting and odd is that the notes seem to imply that the vlogger never actually encountered any of the major specimens. What do I mean by this? Let's run things back.

Hey guys, so there are these weird pop outs that appear to be cardboard. I guess this was or is a theme ride of some kind. I just keep going down but I don't have much choice. All in all it's not that bad.

This is the third note written by the vlogger and yet it's the first time a specimen of any kind is mention or alluded to. Specimen 1 in this case. He also mentions that his experience so far is not that bad. This is strange to me for a simple reason.

The previous note has him mention going in elevators (plural) that only go down and yet judging by this note, he's only just now encountering Specimen 1. The "All in all it's not that bad." line seems to imply that he has only encountered Specimen 1 and nothing else so far. I heavily doubt he would write that if he got chased by one or more of the specimens.

Things become more odd when we get to notes 5 and 6. Where he encounters Specimen 8, 4, and 11's locales. Yet again, none of the specimens are mentioned or even alluded to.

When he gets to Deer Lord's locale, he finds the sickle, but there's no mention of Deer Lord himself or any violent deer. There's also the specific wording he uses here.

Well readers, I found a greenhouse or garden area. It was pretty neat but it didn't help me much. I did find a cool Sickle thing in a 'tree'. I normally don't steal from the places I explore but I have this really uneasy vibe from this place and I want something to defend myself.

"I normally don't steal from the places I explore but I have this uneasy vibe from this place and I want something to defend myself." So apparently the vlogger is only now getting an uneasy vibe from the place, odd, and they want something to defend himself because of it. Again, implications of not encountering any of the specimens. If he was getting chased previously, than I find it odd how he even hesitates grabbing a weapon to defend himself for even a split second. That and I feel like he would be more descriptive than just describing the mansion as "uneasy".

It's a similar deal with the other locales he encounters.

Hey everyone, I wish my cameras had battery left. I found some really cool areas of this building. Some looked like a school of sorts and another might have been some kind of in house restaurant. I found some frozen (meat) there, but I'm not sure if I should attempt to eat it or not.

Once again, the locales are there and mentioned, but not the specimens. He also describes the areas as "cool" and talks about them very casually and calmly. He even wishes his camera still had battery so he could've filmed those areas. If he was being chased or encountered any of the specimens, I doubt that he would be concerned about that. Or at the very least it wouldn't be the first thing on his mind in place of wanting to leave and survive.

Okay guys, I am done with this place. As interesting as it may be I think I'm actually in life threatening danger here. I can't imagine it going on much longer and I've gone way too far down to get back up now.

This is the note where the vlogger reaches his breaking point. Of course, he did mention clearly wanting to leave the mansion in previous notes, but here he seems 100% desperate to leave. Which is curious to me considering he seemed to be slowly warming up to the place in his previous note.

He mentions that as interesting as the mansion is, he thinks he's in life threatening danger. Keyword think. Not "I'm actually in life threatening danger here" but "I think I'm actually in life threatening danger here". Again, nothing explicit is being stated. In this case, I'm not sure if the vlogger is saying this because he's realizing he's close to dying of starvation and thirst or because he encountered something that gave him a reason to think "Oh fuck. I might actually die here."

Either way, it's interesting how throughout all these notes he hasn't mentioned any of the specimens aside from Specimen 1 and overall seems very calm and casual until this note here.

And it's not like he's just built different like the Spelling Errors Victim who was almost completely indifferent to the horrors of the mansion or Jasper who was having the time of his life. When he gets to Specimen 12 and encounters a threat that can kill him, he shows genuine fear in his writing and is clearly becoming paranoid and delusional from being in the fake mansion. He does have a certain brave side to him in some of his notes, he is a urban explorer after all, but we have no reason to believe he's completely fearless and has massive balls of steel.

I'm not 100% sure what Kira was trying to imply with all of this, but I have two explanation that makes the most sense to me. The first explanation is that some of the specimens simply weren't there yet. Assuming that there was a decent gap of time between each of the specimens being found, retrieved, and placed into the mansion, the vlogger may have been at a more or less early point of the mansion's history of gathering specimens. Meaning the mansion didn't have all 13 of the specimens.

What made me consider this theory is that all the locales that the vlogger mentions belong to the Hellgate specimens (those being 4, 8, and 11). So my thought process is that while he's coming across the locales, those specimens haven't been summoned from the Hellgate yet. The locales being there at all does suggest that GL Labs was in the process of trying to retrieve them. As the game more or less implies that the areas that some of the specimens hang around in are supposed to be a recreation of sorts to fit the specimen. For example, the mansion doesn't actually have a real school in it, but rather a recreation of one that Ringu can chill in, since a school was the environment Ringu previously roamed in.

So under this theory, the vlogger has been in the mansion for a long while. Makes sense given the current age we see him in during the base game, assuming that he was more younger while he was vlogging.

The second explanation is that he's an unreliable narrator. To give credit to this post, it's possible that the vlogger is masking his fears by writing down notes about his experience in the mansion, but not about any of the specimens or other paranormal things going on. What better way to make yourself feel better in a nightmare scenario than by writing about that nightmare scenario as if it's just a minor inconvenience?

To add to this idea, maybe he's doing this not only because he wants to hide his fears, but also because he thinks that if he'll make it out and show others the notes he has written about all the crazy shit going on in the mansion, nobody will believe him and think he's a lunatic. By writing about an unnerving but still somewhat believable experience of being stuck in a huge mansion, people would give more credit to him instead of looking down upon him. That way he can cope better overall if he were to make it out.

This could explain why the notes in Specimen 12's area are written a bit differently. He doesn't address his viewers in those notes and it seems like they're written solely for himself. Giving us a clear picture that shows us that he is truly scared of this place and the situation he's in now that he's no longer trying to hide it by acting like there's nothing going on in the mansion.

Both theories area likely possibility to me and I really like the second one because it makes Vlogger's character more complex and interesting. Especially if you take into account that the vlogger/old man is supposed to be a parallel to the protagonist. With both of them seemingly having trouble with the social "mask" or persona they present to the outside world that isn't truly who they are.

Either way, the vlogger is definitely one of the more developed note writers and I love him for that. Some great twists with some nice room for speculation. Gonna give him a six out of five. Just very interesting to me. 6/5

Conclusion

I really love the notes in this game and think they're the most underappreciated aspect of the game. It's really cool and impressive to me how Kira was able to make these notes offer some genuine horror or comedy to the game while also making each writer a bit different from one another just based on how they write. The overall lore or room for speculation they provide is also well done too. Telling you just the right amount that you need to know. Maybe not everything, but at least most of the info that is necessary. Leaving you to speculate and fill in some gaps on your own.

When I first started this, I was worried that I wouldn't have much to say about these notes, but in the end there's actually a lot more to say than I thought!

A bit tiring but still fun project this was. Thank you for reading and have a snazzy day.

[eustasskiddsprosthetic]

Now that my YouTuber AU Sabolaw fic is ending soon, I have a new wip fic. Long ago, I floated the idea of a blind prince!Sabo (x) and I'm happy to say I've gotten something concrete down!

Like I said, Sabo is blind as in he can't see things clearly. He's mostly self-reliant and refuses to accept help from people he doesn't trust and that includes help from his own attendant, Law, a man four years older than himself.

They were 'okay' with each other. Sabo thought Law was too serious and Law thought of Sabo as a bit naïve, even if good-hearted.

One day, Sabo realises that he would be eighteen soon and that meant he had to do be king. Oh, fuck that! He's running away! He refused to be king over a kingdom that refuses to acknowledge its sins, for refusing to do anything that would help people. He would not inherit this shithole of a country,

Ace and Luffy promised not to snitch. That's a solid enough plan, surely!

It was not. This will be a long story. I love slow burns!

Literally on the first night, Sabo was attacked by bears and would have died if Law did not immediately step in with a gun.

Being the little tsundere that he is, Sabo refuses to trust Law. Law's an adult. A shady, no-good adult like everyone else who made fun of him for being blind.

Maybe this is shit writing, but the only reason why Law won over his trust is because Law gave him a short letter, telling Sabo exactly what he intends on doing: they would go to Corázon's place to seek asylum, Law had a budget for food and necessities, Law had specific routes to take and Sabo was supposed to follow him.

Sabo thought it was such a stupid plan but then it suddenly hit him. Law learned how to write in braille with a slate and stylus. Law refused to elaborate on the details, thinking it was not necessary. It absolutely was but Sabo did not have the energy to complain. He was too hungry. The palace chefs spoiled him so much.

Law tried his best, though. Meagre meals of bread, some hunted deer and boiled water from rivers in the forest. Law was a shit cook. Everything he made was almost always burnt but, then again, it was edible and Sabo would rather not go hungry.

Law would buy food sometimes but they would never be much. Law explained that there weren't many food options and Sabo accepted the explanation. Law took them to ghost towns sometimes. That was when Law would sometimes leave for several days, claiming that he needed to find work—whatever that meant.

For accommodation, Law tried but they did not have many options. Not many places were safe and unaffiliated with the royal court, let alone places that were comfortable.

They really were shitholes and brothels but Law always cleaned the rooms and beds as best he could before letting Sabo sleep on them. Sabo still sneezed from the dust but Law never complained when Sabo did. He just smiled and said he'd try to find a better place to sleep next time. He said Sabo needed to man up and Sabo begrudgingly admitted it was true.

Sabo liked it best when they camped out in the forest. It was quiet and peaceful. Law was laughing at a horrible pun he made about bugs or whatever. Sabo learned that Law loved making jokes that were as bad as his cooking.

One night, while camping, Sabo was trying to sleep after taking a piss somewhere and he felt something touch his lips. It was quick and gentle, nothing too forceful like the kisses he shared with strangers before in the taverns whenever he snuck out. Sabo thought this was some stranger who had a weird kink but he was surprised to hear a familiar voice apologising to him.

"I'm so sorry, your highness. I went out of line."

"You kissed me, Law," Sabo said blandly. "Why?"

“I… it’s a spur of the moment.”

“Do not lie to me.”

Law hesitated. Sabo couldn’t understand why. If Law wanted to have sex with him, he should say so. Sabo wouldn’t mind. Sabo’s curious and Law’s an adult. It felt right, anyhow. That was the way it should be. Law should teach him this and not the boring stuff from books.

“I’m sorry, your highness,” Law said softly after some time. “You’re pretty. That’s why I kissed you.”

Sabo knew there was more to the story. He knew Law was staring at his body. He knew Law liked his body, found him not just pretty but attractive. He knew Law was turned on. Plenty of people told Sabo he was handsome before, and it was unsurprising Law thought that way too. In fact, it would be insulting if Law didn't.

“No, your highness,” Law said with strained finality. “I can’t. I refuse.”

Sabo shrugged. “Pity,” he said without meaning it.

Law struggled to breathe. “You say that as if you actually want to have sex with me.”

“I won’t say I want to,” Sabo said. “I don’t know why you’re so uptight around me. I’m not the king, you know, I have no real power yet.”

“That’s exactly why I refuse. You have no power.”

“Huh?” Sabo did not understand and Law refused to elaborate. Sabo got frustrated and said that Law should explain so Sabo could learn instead of avoiding the topic. Weakly, Law agreed but never explained why having sex with Sabo was such a horrible thing to do.

That day made things more awkward. Neither refused to talk about what happened, and maybe that was for the best. At least, Law now never left Sabo's side, which made things easier.

Eventually, they did make it to Corázon's house and that was when Law left Sabo abruptly without ceremony. Sabo wasn't worried. Law would come back like he always does, with some food and other little gifts he could find along the way. Law always came back.

One day passes. Law is not here. Fine, maybe Law was on vacation. Two weeks and still nothing. Sabo tried not to get worried. Maybe Law got a job. One month later and there was still no news. That was, until one day, a guy with flaming red hair came by to ask for Law.

"Hey, blondie. Where's Trafalgar? He owes me money."

"Excuse me?" Law never borrowed money.

"Huh?" He said. He shrugged. "Whatever, it's not serious. Just tell him to find me if you see him around. There's something else I want to tell him. Name's Eustass. See ya."

"S-sure..." This man looked fucking terrifying!

Corázon was in the kitchen making breakfast and so Sabo forwarded the message. Corázon smiled and said that Law had been borrowing money from him and Eustass. Eustass was a kind man so Sabo need not worry about him.

"What? Why?"

"Law knows he can't give you the luxury you're used to but he insists that he must try," Corázon said kindly.

The first lesson Law taught Sabo in the palace when Sabo was still sixteen was to never to be in anyone else's debt. That was why Sabo started realising something was very wrong.

"But Law always told me how much budget we have and we camp outside. He had always been transparent. He works sometimes, that's why he disappears for three days at a time sometimes."

"Have you actually touched the money Law claims to have?"

N-no, he did not. Corázon invited Sabo to sit down as he explained what's really going on.

Like Sabo, Law had been running away, specifically from a man named Donquixote Doflamingo. At first, Sabo did not know who this person was or what they did to Law but after an info-dump from Corázon, he realised more and more that he was not as smart as he thought he was.

Doflamingo killed Law's biological family when Law refused to work for him. Doflamingo tracked down Law's friends and somehow forced them to distance themselves from Law. Law, now, was dedicated to finding out where they were and setting things right. That was why Law left Sabo alone.

And now, Sabo learnt that these 'palace guards' Law kept complaining about were not palace guards at all. They were Doflamingo's men. That explained why they spoke to Law like that, like he was some sort of slut. Real palace guards spoke to Law with professionalism and formality.

And yet, Law would go so far as to marry Doflamingo! To accept being talked at, degraded and losing basic agency over his life if it meant keeping Sabo safe and, worse of all, free.

"If it means anything, Law said he wished he could've made things easier. You had to get used to a lot of things you're unfamiliar with and there wasn't much of a coping period to help you with your blindness. He regretted not arranging things better for your sake."

Sabo really was a child, after all! He learnt nothing! Nothing at all!

"I forgot to mention this, but Law left a letter for you." Sabo snatched the letter away and felt it. It was written in braille, and it only had a single sentence. Sabo started crying.

"Young man," Corázon said lightly. "How about you write a letter to Law? Or, I'll type one for you. How about that? There's still some time before Law leaves the country with Doflamingo."

Sabo shook his head. He stood up, demand that Smoker give him a ride on his white horse named Chaser towards the Northern Chapel. If Chaser was as fast as Smoker said, then there's still time for Sabo to prove himself to the only person, other than Ace and Luffy, to say, "Sabo, I love you."

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮

Hiiiiii i’m so excited for these fics you’re a amazing writer! 💚💚💚

HI! THANK YOU! ILY!

Here are 18 fresh sentences for 🚨:

---

That’s never good, right? Maybe Eddie regrets what he asked for last night and just wants to clarify that it’s never going to happen again. That would fucking suck. It would be somewhat crushing. But Buck could handle it. He can handle whatever because Eddie is alive, and he very nearly wasn’t, and anything other than that feels like a miraculous bonus. 

“Sure,” Buck mutters, holding his body tensely. “Sure, we can, uh, talk.”

“Thank you,” Eddie exhales. “I’m going to get going then.”

“Uh, you sure you’re good to drive yourself?” Buck asks. “I mean, you went through a lot, and if you’re tired... I can take you to your appointment.”

Eddie shakes his head. 

“This is something I’ve got to do alone. I’ll be fine.”

What the fuck does that mean? 

---

18 for 🌊:

---

In the days since, he’s only been met with silence and read receipts. He hurt Buck. Badly. Unintentionally. He failed to act when it mattered, and now? Now Buck thinks something that definitely isn’t true. Eddie’s not exactly sure what Buck thinks, but he knows it can’t possibly reflect the way he feels. If it did, he’d answer the phone. 

There’s no time to deal with that now, though. Now, a storm is rolling in, and Eddie and his team are all hands on deck. 

With Chris in Houston, he’s pretty much living at the station, accepting all the overtime he can. He’s boarded up his house, done everything he can to protect it. Beyond that, the best he can do is for the city and its residents. Apparently, if things get bad enough, the city will cease EMS operations for the safety of the paramedics. That was never a risk in El Paso. The thought is kind of mind boggling. But Eddie did this work amidst enemy gunfire. He can operate in high pressure, dangerous conditions.

---

18 for ⚡️:

---

“Let’s take a walk around the block,” Buck tells them. His mouth is a tight, unimpressed line. Eddie wants to pull him away from all of this. 

Buck doesn’t wait for them to reply. He turns and begins walking to the backyard gate. Margaret and Phillip exchange an uneasy look before taking off after him. Eddie hopes he maintains the air of authority, the upper hand, that he has in this exact moment.

Sighing, a beer in each hand, Eddie walks back across the yard to reclaim his seat beside Bobby. He feels a dull ache behind his temples. 

“You didn’t have to be a prophet, you know,” Eddie grumbles at Bobby as he slumps into his seat. 

“You can call me Captain Oracle from here on out,” Bobby replies smugly. “And in your future, a conversation with an unhappy bride.”

“What?” Eddie asks. He looks over his shoulder to see Maddie striding towards him, expression pinched. Uh oh. “Maddie, hi.”

“Did my parents ambush you?”

---

18 for 🔮:

---

“Then why isn’t she?” He asks. “I mean, if you knew you were leaving… You could have prepared her. She would have passed the test for a permanent captaincy no problem.”

Bobby swallows. “You’re right. I’m sure she would have.”

“Then why?” Buck asks. “Why are we stuck here with some sexist, racist, homophobic pig who none of us respect a-and who is making it miserable to be there?”

Bobby’s throat feels tight. 

“I didn’t know they’d bring in Gerrard,” Bobby says. “He was moved for the very same reasons you’re saying now. He’s the last person I expected to replace me.”

“Clearly the LAFD doesn’t actually care,” Buck says. “But I know you care. So why leave us in the lurch, Bobby?”

[torrtimandi]

Just some random late night thoughts. A bit angsty too, though.

Pairing: Gaspard and Xavier

Word count: 1089

“I miss you so much, darling.” Xavier whispered into the air of his empty apartment, the words soft and vulnerable, without the response that Xavier so desperately craved. After all, he wasn’t on the phone with anyone, neither calling nor video chatting. He was alone at his place and he was in fucking Sweden.

With a deep sigh, Xavier grabbed his cup of hot tea and sat down in his spacious living room, only the silence answering his hushed words. He looked down at his phone on the table, his searching gaze hoping to see a coming notification from one certain person. But deep inside he knew it was just pointless. In the end, the one he wanted to contact him the most remained almost silent and would probably do so for a long time to come… And I deserve it, don’t I?

Xavier took a sip of the hot tea and slowly rubbed the bridge of his nose, his annoying hangover, the result of the previous night, only adding to his guilt and regret that took over his body, making him even more anxious. Yeah, he fucking derserved it indeed. After all, he was just one fucking idiot to decide that it was better to leave his partner, his bandmate, his love, all alone back in Paris, just because he wanted to flee fucking covid restrictions. 

Sure, at first Xavier was quite angry and full of pride. After all, he’d owned this Swedish apartment for a long while and he’d mentioned the possibility of escaping here quite a few times. He’d always liked Stockholm and had visited it many times with Gaspard, so when it turned out that there were almost no pandemic restrictions in Sweden, it was obvious that he’d prefer to escape here, and obviously with Gaspard too. But Gaspard had said no.

They’d argued about some trivial shit and Gaspard had firmly stated that he felt good in Paris, even with its rigorous restrictions. It was their city, he had everything he needed there, and there was no way he was going to leave for Sweden, especially when he was working on his solo stuff. Of course, Xavier, as stubborn and controlling as he could be, hadn’t listened and had given Gaspard a dumb ultimatum. “Oh, really? Well, I guess I’ll fucking go just alone! Watch me”, thinking that maybe Gaspard would agree then, but he still didn't. So Xavier really did escape. After all, his pride wouldn’t have let him retreat back now...

And that’s how he ended up alone in Stockholm, soon unpacking his things with a stubborn spite, but his heart not being in it anymore. The same heart that felt as cold as the Scandinavian morning when Gaspard sent him only a short text message to know if he had arrived safely. Xavier just swallowed hard, his fingers almost itching to call his partner, so eager, already so desperate to hear his lovely, soothing, deliciously soft voice. But no, pride was still greater and he only replied with another few words message instead of just calling him, which is what they would do under normal circumstances. Ouch, that fucking stung, huh? 

But fuck pride. Now, after days of trying to convince himself that he was living such a great, free life by going to bars and getting drunk all by himself, he finally stopped fooling himself and accepted that he’d made a fucking mistake. After all, what was fun in all of it when his true love was fucking thousands kilometers away, so far away from his touch, sight and voice? 

It hadn’t even been a week and he already missed him. Xavier so unbearably missed Gaspard, his bandmate, his best friend, his love, the one who knew all of his secrets and the one that he always goofed around with. The one he wanted to wake up next to every morning and talk to every day. He was Xavier’s day and night. His sun and moon. His hope and smile. And he just missed him and his silly doodles and pure excitement when he talked about yet another obscure song or a comic. He missed the softness of the curls under his fingertips and the comforting touch of his big hand holding his middle. The shared warmth under the covers and the cuddles on the couch in the middle of the day, and so, so, so much more that he could take long hours to talk about. 

Xavier simply missed Gaspard and all of that he brought into his life, which was unspeakably a lot.

Still, the rational part of his mind knew that some break would do good for them too. After all, everyone needed the room for the individual and it’d allow them to think more about themselves as those individuals indeed, while addressing the things that really differed them as well. Solitude forces one to introspect and discover one’s own personality in plenty of ways and everyone needs those once in a while to be truly in touch with their own self… But to embark on a journey of self-discovery, you usually need to be somewhat at peace with yourself, and Xavier needed to talk to Gaspard first in order to be just that.

Suddenly, Xavier put down the cup and grabbed his phone to make a quick call to Gaspard before he could even think about it and cowardly back out. He waited a moment or two until he just closed his eyes in relief and comfort as the soft voice answered a simple; “Xavier.”

His heart sped up and a warm cloud seemed to embrace him as dozens of possible matters, simple ones and not so simple, came to his mind that he wanted to share with his love. However, all of it could wait because, first, he needed to voice the most important. The words that he was never tired of voicing. 

“First of all, I just wanted to tell you that I love you.” Xavier murmured with a voice that seemed to contain regret, guilt, but also his devotion and clear affection and love. And then, he slowly just laid down on his couch while getting lost in the sound of his reciprocating, forgiving lover, as even bigger relief and warmth spread across his body. In the end, maybe he was far away from Gaspard, which still sucked and they had a lot to discuss, but as long as he was able to share his affection, his love… Things were really far from bad.

[borathae]

Chapter 5

sickeningly sweet jimin? is he about to sass me?

“why aren’t you visiting our place anymore? idk you tell me

But you are still seeing Taehyung, aren’t you? yeah they are also occasionally eating each other, dont worry

his eyes race over your body, “interesting indeed.” WHY IS HE EYEING ME LIKE THAT? u got something to say???? ALSO WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

SAVED THAT FF IN TO MY LIBRARY AHAHA

It is like you don’t even exist for him.” SHUT UP U DONT SAY THAT

SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING (go on i have 3 holes for a reason)

You almost choke gurl got gagged

Stupid body, acting all on its own again.  me to my body when it does that shiver/jerk/hitting my neck on my shoulder

what did you say to him to make him change his mind plays all idks jimin ever sang

take a shot everytime he said interesting

THANK GOD HE LEFT BYE PHEW, THIS IS A MOMENT WHERE "let out a breath idk i was holding" IS COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE

NO HE DIDNT LEAVE Jimin presses himself against you 🤺 BACK AWAY🤺 BACK THE FUCK AWAY I SAID 🤺

jimin is sex on legs and STAYING FUCKING TRUE TO IT

Interesting count: 3

HE IS A MENACE COULD HAVE LEFT THAT POOR GIRL ALONE TO STUDY BUT NAAH HE IS JEALOUS OF HER STUDYING LATIN

Good job, now everyone hates you. mood 😭

WHY DID U GO TO HIM NO WE WONT FOLD THAT FAST NA UH

do come inside.” sure, she will after she learns the spells

YES LEAVE THANK YOU WE WILL NOT BACK DOWN

JIMINSHI AAAA

him: im fast as fuck boi

putting my meme generator account to use

So much is happening at once that you don’t know if you like it or not. Are you having a dream again? i get her confusion like sir what are you doing, its hot tho

OMG HE ERASED THE MEMORIES UGH AAH

HOSEOK MY LOVELY POOKIE I LOVE YOU, LETS GET MARRIED AND WALK INTO THE SUNSET AND FORGET ALL ABOUT THIS. the end. wow that would be funny if the book ended in 5 chapters 😭

remember our workout? .... I love cuddles”, he states ...... it was very late yep. this is soo funny pls, knowing how his lying/acting sucks, this must be a struggle for him

STOP OK UR NOT FUNNY IM SORRY, SAY SOMETHING

ok what is he trying to do? you need to poop great 😭

AGAIN SHE IS IN THE LIBRARY?? WHAT HOBI U DIDNT HAVE TO ERASE MEMORIES oh he only changed her place, cuz she remembers him hmm ok

tae is ok i guess DONT TELL ME TO SLEEP SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK (me who sleeps 8 hours a day)

poor baby i hope she sleeps it off well.

i still dont know whats happening and its getting concerning about what goes on with them and the house 🙂

AND WE GOT TO SEE 2SEOK AGAIN YAY whats kook up to i wonder

AHAHAHAHHA IT'S SO FUNNY TO SEE THE EMOTIONAL rollercoaster you went on with this chapter 😭😂😂 you went from wanting Jimin to fearing him to wanting Hobi to fearing him to tolerating Tae BAHAHHAHAH this is exactly the kind of reading experience I want you guys to have HFAHDHFHA

ALSO THE MEMES ARE TOPTIER PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING BAHAHHAHAH

[unhingedthirst]

“It’s my thigh or nothing, I’m not helping you get off.” For Cyrus × Fem!Reader

I was promised a kidney for this but honestly the fact that you love and support my work will always be more than enough!

Edit- I wrote this right when it was requested but intended to finish it at some point- I didn’t so have this first part of an unfinished fic :3

Living in Sunnyvale and having a situationship with Cyrus came with its own set of difficulties. You didn’t know exactly what you guys were but you know that living next to his sworn enemy was the catalyst for a lot of rough angry sex. Not that you were complaining. Julian, bubbles and Ricky pestered you often about your involvement with Cyrus. You were all sitting around in Julian’s trailer smoking dope laughing about something dumb Ricky said. You all sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments and than Ricky turned to you “why are you dating that fucking dick Cyrus anyway?” It seemingly came out of nowhere but you looked around your friends and they just waited for your response with eager eyes. You sighed “one we aren’t dating..we just hang out.” You say sheepishly and Julian scoffs at you “I can’t believe you bang that creep” you roll your eyes at the man; their disgust used to bother you a lot more but now it was just par for the course. “You guys are just mad that you aren’t banging me” you say confidently and the men collectively groan. You didn’t even know if that statement was true but by how jealous they all acted it be seemed like the logical answer. Bubbles finally spoke after awhile of just listening “you’re a pretty lady and all” he sqawks out and you smile softly with pride “but we care about you. He’s not a good guy!” Bubbles explains and you pat his knee lovingly. A deep blush forms on his cheeks and than Julian speaks again “he can’t even protect you he’s a fucking pussy” Ricky nods. You huff a frustrated breathe and than quickly duck and cover when Ricky pulls out his gun and starts waving it around “he can’t even shoot anything! He’s a dumb idiot coward! He can’t protect you from shit!” Ricky yelled and you got up to leave as Julian and bubbles start scolding him. You yell a goodbye and leave the rest of your dope as a sign of good faith. What they didn’t understand is how sweet Cyrus is with you; fingers in your hair and lips pressed to your neck. Every time you saw him he’d pull you into his lap and say “tell me about your day baby.” It felt so intimate. There was definitely feelings involved on both sides but you weren’t about to be the dumb girl that tries to tie a guy like Cyrus down. He was also so amazing in bed; when you guys were alone and he starts touching you, you lose all brain function. you found your way once again in Cyrus’s car; you’d called him the second you left Julian’s trailer. He was quick to pick you up; eager to get laid probably. As he pulls in front of your trailer the boys are sitting around the shit mobile now drinking. You close your eyes and take a deep breathe bracing for the annoyance you are about to endure. Cyrus makes eye contact with Ricky as he goes in and kisses you hello. Before you could commend Ricky for keeping his cool Cyrus yells out “Fuck off Ricky. I’ve got work to do” and points to you. You shove him with your elbow as you bury your face in your hands. Ricky loses it throwing a beer bottle and screaming at your non boyfriend’s red corvette as he speeds out. Cyrus has always been a tough nut to crack, if felt like he was constantly on a losing streak but with you it felt like he was winning. It started out as just fucking someone hot that he was pretty sure Julian and Ricky were interested in but now it turned into another person accepting him as he was even if it meant you being okay with him keeping you at arms length. You hadn’t discovered how much of a loser he was yet and he was eager to keep it that way.

[astronnova]

response to @imminent-danger-came from this post!!!! thank you for replying mwehehehehehehehehehehe

#DAMN#IT'S TRUE#people need to accept that shadowpeach is a fucked up an' unhealthy ship (that maybe can get better) and that's okay! that's why I like 'em

yes this is SO true so true so true. their dynamic is so warped and bonkers and thats why i loooove it. its about the obsession. its about the guilt. the tragedy. its about the unstoppable force vs immovable object and how they cant stop coming back to eachother. im normal, i swear

#''azure and lbd were kinda the same just different execution'' YEAH. HMMM PARALLELS.

i love parallels i love it when writing does this i love feeling the overarching theme tie into every part of the story i love storytelling

#macaque and azure are also the same with their Wukong abandonment arcs. Foil MK that way. It fucking rules

this too. im a big fan of how bonkers azure and macaque are for wukong and also how mk is so open to subconsciously absorbing others ways of thinking that he just internalizes that too. these guys......... its okay that wukong has other things going on u guys......... its okay.......

#I will say. On one hand yeah oh my fucking god the fandomization of Macaque is so fucking terrible. This post is so right#On the other: I think Wukong very much did abandon macaque first lol#But they abandoned each other (It's why MK and Mei not doing so is 👌👌👌👌👌)

hard agree about the fandomization of macaque, it reeeeeeks. let him be an awful bastard

ok this has me curious! id love to know when wukong abandons macaque first, cause i personally can't think of the time he does that. (i know tone is hard to come across via text so i want to make it clear im being 100% genuine here).

based on all the time we know wukong left macaque, he always came back to him and his intentions for leaving were to protect macaque and the monkeys on flower fruit mountain. when he left to train with subodhi, he came back after his training. we also never see macaque show any disdain for this or claim that was wukong abandoning him with the action.

then, wukong goes to the celestial realm and works as the stable boy before he gets super drunk and petty and then goes back to flower fruit mountain. macaque never shows any anger over this either, so i don't think that's abandonment.

after, wukong and the brotherhood attack the celestial realm and wukong is captured and put into the furnace and then forced under the mountain. i don't think wukong's capture counts as abandonment, especially since wukong makes it super clear that he does not want to be under that rock.

originally i thought macaque didn't know about wukong's capture like azure and the others, which could be a reasonable conclusion for him to come to; that wukong abandoned him for the celestials, but we know that macaque knows wukong was captured. macaque even visits him under the mountain. that's when macaque severs their ties and leaves wukong trapped.

also yes........ yes..!!! mk & mei are the wukong & macaque narrative parallels.... i love storytelling

#And I think like. Why should Macaque have to bail Wukong out and put himself in danger with all of heaven because of what Wukong chose to do

its less about "macaque having to bail wukong out and indanger himself over wukong's problems" but more of like, wukong and macaque did the exact same thing, which was attacking the celestial realm. that's why wukong got caught. it's not just macaque, azure, peng, bull king and yellowtusk have some sort of moral responsibility in a way to at least try to help wukong, because all of their combined actions led to wukong taking the punishment for all of them.

i mean, sure, macaque has no reason or responsibility to bail wukong out if you look at it from that scene alone, with the "you dont owe anyone anything" mindset. but considering the other things we know, like how macaque was apart of the attack and supported wukong and fought along side him, there's a bit of a moral obligation to help wukong out since macaque's apart of the reason why wukong was captured.

#This post almost has the opposite problem of ''Wukong is villainzied while Macaque is a baby boy'' like#Wukong wasn't a good person either (they both suck(ed))#But he changed

HAHA lol sorry, that wasnt my intent. i want to make it clear that yeah, wukong wasnt a good person either! but i think the major distinction is that he wasnt a good person, past tense. in the show currently, wukong's a pretty alright guy, and the journey to the west helped him grow into a better person. i jsut feel it isn't necessary to mention wukong's terrible traits from the past because they arent... relevant to him in the current tense. that, along with the fact that the fandom keeps bringing it up, im focused more on mentioning macaque's terrible actions instead of wukong's because macaque is still acting that way while wukong grew as a person hundreds of years before canon. no reason to mention the terrible past of someone who's already made up for it, that kind of thing.

and your right! he changed, and thats good! my main point is that macaque didnt, but the fandom loves to act like he did.

#''We can't change who we were yesterday or in a past life or a hundred lifetimes ago! We live with the choices we've made for what-#-matters is the choices we make right now!''#Like yeah obviously Macaque was biased. (He says so himself: ''Everyone is the hero of their own story'')

yep ^

#But Macaque also steps in in s2 because Wukong LITERALLY abandoned MK chasing after another source of power.

i feel like thats a misinterpretation of season 2 and wukong's actions, because the reason wukong "abandons" mk is to keep mk out of danger. wukong's objective is to find a way to defeat the lady bone demon without having to drag mk into it, because he feels mk isn't ready for that kind of large battle yet. he isn't leaving mk behind to go look for more power for himself, he's leaving mk in a safe place while he goes to deal with the main threat to keep mk from getting involved. he isn't quick enough, but the point still stands.

macaque steps in and even admits in the shadow play episode that he only came by to torture mk for fun ("i was gonna do the whole watch the hero be tormented by their own mistakes thing..." is what he says, which is funny because that's really relevant to wukong's character too haha).

#SWK is making the same mistake he always has. And then MK in s2 is ALSO making that same mistake#And Macaque had to be a loser about it but it is very interesting to see it from his pov.#He steps in when MK is acting that little bit too much like Wukong in all the wrong ways. (2x07 4x09)

and you've got a point! wukong has a habit of shouldering everything himself and believing he has to be the one to fix everything, since he has the most abilities and powers out of everyone... *gestures vaguely* alive, lol. that's why he keeps secrets throughout s2-3, because the way he deals with large scale threats is by keeping his cards close to his chest. given his past, i don't blame him

so true, too, cause mk's going down that path of self isolation like wukong has already done. mk's trying to spare his friends from his "burdens" (his trauma with lbd in s2 and his trauma from azure lion and the scroll in s4) and by doing so he shuts down and keeps to himself. macaque interprets this as him "abandoning his friends", but that's because macaque's a projector LOL. we already know he does that constantly. i find it interesting too, cause macaque is somehow the most empathetic person in the cast but uses that as a way to drag people down to his level, its rlly fun. i like macaque a lot

i'll be real, i don't think macaque steps in because he genuinely wants to help mk, it's more like he sees mk (season 2 specifically here) as a smaller, weaker wukong that he can actually punch around. he knows if he tried to mess with the real wukong he'd get his ass handed to him, so he goes for the easier target. in season 4, his perspective is different but it still isn't 100% in mk's favor. and also imma be real his advice was butt booty dog water bHKBHADBHKAHAH

side note that im not able to articulate that well because its late but it moderately fits this topic: macaque uses shadow play as partially a way to continue placing doubt in mk's mind about wukong. macaque has a vendetta, and so he thinks everyone else should hate wukong too, no matter how wukong acts now. macaque practically refuses to accept wukong's changed because that would mean macaque would have to self reflect and realize that he isnt all that like he acts like he is. he's very self righteous and tries to put down mk while also placing doubt and manipulating mk into disliking and not trusting wukong. he does this like every chance he gets in season 3, also

#But maybe I think in general that ''antagonist'' is a better word to describe macaque rather than villain

sure! i can agree, mostly s4 and up, but in s1-3 he fits the bill for villain too, imo

#Anyways me on team ''Wukong and Macaque both hurt each other in equally fucked up ways'': my totally unbiased imp opinion#''Wukong was on a path of self-destruction. We all were.''#MY PERSONAL INTERPRETATION: MK is to Macaque what the Monk was to Wukong.

oh yeah i agree, wukong and macaque are such a tragic duo because of all those centuries of baggage, and they've hurt eachother so much intentionally and unintentionally. its great, i love it

"wukong was on a path of self-destruction. we all were" that phrase caught my attention big time because up until those point macaque had like no remorse for anything he'd done, so it was super interesting having him say that to mk. i was like. what da hell, macaque redemption arc REAL!?!??!?!?! im interested to see where they take macaque! he's the most likely to get that redemption tbh he's got all the flags

also i think that's a pretty cool way to look at it, and i def see what you mean. mk's good nature and desire to help rubbing off on macaque when wukong's couldn't is a very cool way to look at things, and also it slots into canon very nicely. macaque won't listen to wukong, mainly because they're so connected and all those centuries of baggage (six eared "i want the old wukong back and i also blame him for everything that goes wrong" macaque), but having someone new who also has some stake in their lives (wukongs successor) be the one to tell him Stop Being Weird and having it work, its very interesting.

#LMK is very much a show about everyone dealing with the world in their own way.#Some open noodle shops. Some try to create a clean slate. Others want to leave the world better than they found it#And Macaque was very much just in survival mode trying not to die while also trying to get back at Wukong#''Look out for number one'' like that's how he coped with the world/how he saw it.#And MK kind of up-ended that point of view. 3x10 was THE time to abandon Mei yet MK refused to

so true! lego monkie kid's s1-3 message of the world being fine just the way it is because there's good people in it is what made me fall in love with the series at first. and also how it shows how people live their lives and keep moving despite the hardships of the world is very nice. me like. and yeah! macaque's "look out for number one" mentality is very nice and i like how that fits into his and wukongs characters. its very night and day (HA get it). wukong tries to look out for everyone else while macaque is only interested in looking out for himself. its cool , i like that. especially because it relates back to their original versions in the original story, where macaque represents the dark desires of the mind like his selfishness and spitefulness and wukong kills him as a sign of overcoming those desires and instead choosing the path towards enlightenment and doing good for others and the world.

macaque has a habit of forming full opinions and thoughts on people without properly knowing them and then sticking to those thoughts for the rest of time, not considering their ability to grow and change. mk constantly makes him have to come to terms with the fact that he is wrong and its so awesome. especially because we all know daaamn well that he saw himself in the "mei is my best friend, im not going to leave her when she needs me!" moment. its really good

#So strange to me people think they can't like villains. I'm assuming it's more than just the kids/teens in the fandom

yeah its super wild. a lot of ppl (esp in this fandom, i havent seen it this bad since like voltron i think and i wasnt even apart of that fandom) believe that to like a villain there has to be some reason why the character is secretly "the good guy" or something, because if they like a straight up bad guy then it means theyre a bad person, when in reality its just relating to the conflicts that those "bad guys" represent and stuff. idk its wild out here i have never seen people jump through so many hoops to justify why they like a villain. they dont have to be secret good people, they can be bad and you can like them because of that. like, one of my fav characters from modern cartoons is emperor belos from the owl house and that guy is like basically pure evil LOL

i'll answer your other tags tomorrow! i am very tired and it is past midnight for me. snoozing at my desk, almost