#Supervillain!Eddie

[hisbucky]

Athena: Your son is a menace. Bobby: Oh, he's my son now? He's only ever just my son when he makes trouble for you and the law. Athena: Exactly. Now he's gone and shacked up with a supervillain and parenting their kid to be a future future tyrannical overlord. Bobby, blinking rapidly: He what now? Athena: Their wedding reception is this weekend, so clear your schedule with your superhero buddies. Don't make a scene. Bobby: ...What?

[maxwell-grant]

If you had your say, what villains would you want featured in future venom movies?

With the stuff they have the rights for and aren't saving for future/solo movies, within Venom characters, who is there to pick from? They did the Future Foundation for the first movie, they got to Carnage in the sequel, they've set up Pat Mulligan/Toxin and we're probably gonna either get that or Knull in the next one. They can't scale down to one of Spidey's billion crimelords or someone like Sin-Eater who at least kinda has something to do with Venom, they've set up world-threatening symbiotes as the baseline. Toxin is just nothing, there's nothing there, the most you can get out of him is by having him be We Have Spider-Man At Home, and they already set him Mulligan as Venom's Javert. Combine those two, pit Eddie against a jerk Spider-Man who goes Carnage sometimes, I guess it's something? Knull is a Thor villain who took the wrong turn at Albuquerque, I can't imagine how they'd do him for these movies without just pulling the trigger on a Venomverse outright, and there's been a lot of talk about how the next movie's gonna set up that, or a multiverse, or the Sonyverse, and I'm boring myself to sleep just talking about this.

They both suck and are big idiot nothings, and none of the prior guys were really good to begin with. Knull is a little more tolerable in my book because Al Ewing and the new game made decent enough soup out of it and Tradd Moore's art sold me on him a little bit, and Woody Harrelson playing Biff Tannen was by default the most entertaining Cletus Kasady has ever been aside from AXIS, but "occasionally amusing" doesn't equal good or even mediocre, and that's the issue with these movies in a nutshell. An occasionally funny schlub protagonist and offscreen promises can't make up for all the crap everything else, and Let There Be Carnage wore my goodwill towards even that real thin. I really did try to like it.

Don't get me wrong, I like that those movies exist. I'm still probably gonna drag my friend into the next one. I hate most Venom comics but I'm incorrigible Venom trash. If we have to put up with those films and a Madame Web every now and then as the price to pay for Sony keeping the rights and keeping Spiderverse and the games just as they are, then by all means keep them coming. But man, I did try, I seriously combed through Venom and the other symbiote's rogues galleries and supporting casts to try and find an answer for this, and all the characters I found were A: dogshit Venom / Spider-anciliary characters that don't have much of anything worth it to them, and B: halfway there Spider-Man leftovers who are better served just not having anything to do with Venom movies, so I guess the option I'd go here is for them to just make new ones. I mean, movie Carlton Drake was basically an original character and he was, okay I don't even remember a thing about that guy but he was probably better than Cletus because it's really not that hard to come up with a better villain than Cletus Kasady (who at his best just elicits a chuckle) and dirtbag CEO with the cops on his side is the kind of thing you want a character like Venom to be fighting so, I guess lean more on that.

I guess I'd put Venom against symbiote tech cops that he can kill and eat without complication and have those follow him around while the actual plot is about some dumb errand or personal conflict he runs, but I don't think the villains are really the missing piece here. Venom is a terrific Spider-Man villain, but as a protagonist he is frequently deeply lacking, and as a movie franchise has like two things going for it, the titular character and the humor of a couple low-stakes absurd comedy scenes like the lobster tank, so I'd take those and throw the source material in the trash and have them go through something like the fake sequels of 22 Jump Street, just put the character in dumb problems that they can try and solve in dumb ways and do their dumb comedy routine in, Venom as a vehicle for dark parody as an extension of what he was made to represent. Treat the movies less like they are steps in a cinematic universe or character pieces and more like genre films that get infected and corrupted by a monstrous violent walking alien apocalypse and the schlubby journalist meathead in a co-dependent relationship with said walking apocalypse.

Venom In Space. Venom Goes to Hollywood. Venom In The Hood. Venom Surfs The Web. Everyvenom Venomwhere All At Venom. Not even joking, if I could make a Venom musical / Little Shop of Venoms I'd do it in a heartbeat, and it would end with similar destruction. Because make no mistake, this is a Laurel and Hardy thing only to them, and to everyone else it's an escalating horror film with some kind of destruction left at the end, because that's what happens when Venom runs rampant and Spider-Man isn't there to stop them or at least keep them in line.

Venom is not just a parody, he is a rot at the heart that never stops growing, and even if Eddie Brock can strive to be a better man and even be a decent one, even if he and the Symbiote can bond as losers trying to be better, neither can escape the nature of what Venom fundamentally is, with a million new Carnages and Riots and Agonies and Screams and Viruses and symbiote cops and serial killers popping up every minute as a reminder. You can't really come up with a Venom-specific villain that's going to be greater than Venom himself already is as a Spider-Man villain, so I'd just lean into that. And then maybe, when and if it's time to finally deliver on that Spider-Man or Sinister Six encounter, they find themselves arriving too late after we've had enough movies to laugh at this idiot schlub and his predatory living cancer buddy while the world they've been protecting has been turning more into this. We put this world not in the hands of Spider-Man, because we have the full rights hope in overcoming hardship to be our better self, but in the claws of Venom, because we are fucking stupid.

[marveldcfan105]

Topher Grace's Venom is a badass!

Topher Grace's Venom is the only version of Venom where Eddie Brock is Pure Evil.

[savage-kult-of-gorthaur]

ALIEN SYMBIOTES AT THEIR MOST, TERRIFYING, HORRIFYING, FLESH-CRAWLING.

PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on Marvel supervillain Carnage (Cletus Kasady) and his "dad," Venom, anti-hero and/or "Lethal Protector," c. 1996 & 1995 respectively. Artwork by Peruvian-American fantasy artist Boris Vallejo.

Resolution at 1422x1881 & 1265x1943.

Sources: www.facebook.com/photo.php/?photo_id=1643137712468974 & X.

[nopes-and-dreams-and-nightmares]

If it gets popular enough I'll do a tongue kiss follow up muah

[astro-bear]

“We are venom”

[hauntrobins]

eddie bloomberg character thesis part 1

[figures4fun]

[coldflasher]

was thinking the other day about how much it would have sucked for eddie (but also made way more sense) if he had already (unknowingly) had a kid before he shot himself in s1

eddie thawne does seem like a sensible man who would use protection, but accidents happen. imagine how mad you’d be if you shot yourself to stop your evil descendant from ever being born but it was too late because you had unprotected sex one time in college

[hisbucky]

Eddie, scathingly: Captain.

Bobby, sneering: Diaz.

Eddie: This is an unpleasant surprise.

Bobby: Not as much as having you as a son-in-law.

Eddie, eyes twitching: I'm willing to set aside our feud for Buck - are you?

Bobby: For *my* son? Always.

Eddie: Fine.

Bobby: Fine.

[creativeera]

Anti Venom: Unsung Heroes The Life-Saving Feats of Emergency Medical Services Professionals

Introduction to Venomous Creatures Snakes, spiders, scorpions and other venomous creatures are found all over the world. While they can cause harm, many play important roles in the environment and ecosystem. Venom is a toxin secreted by these animals, usually through specialized structures like fangs or stingers, and is delivered through biting or stinging. The venom is used primarily for hunting or self-defense. Common Venomous Species Some of the most common venomous species include snakes like cobras, vipers, rattlesnakes and taipans. Spiders like black widows, brown recluse, funnel weavers and red backs also have medically significant venom. Scorpions, jellyfish, cone snails and some insects can also deliver venom that is dangerous to humans. The symptoms and severity of envenomations vary depending on the species but may include pain, swelling, bleeding disorders, low blood pressure, organ damage and even death in severe cases without treatment. How Venom Works Anti venom is a lifesaving medication created from the Anti Venom of poisonous animals. It acts by neutralizing the toxins in the venom. The process begins by collecting small amounts of venom from the relevant species, usually snakes. This venom is then injected into other animals like horses in gradually increasing doses to allow their immune systems to develop antibodies against the venom. After some time, serum is extracted from the blood of these animals containing polyclonal antibodies that recognize and bind the venom toxins, rendering them harmless. Key Elements of Effective Venom For venom to be effective, it must contain antibodies that specifically recognize the venom composition of the species causing the envenomation. Venoms can vary subtly between geographic locations even for the same species. The venom must also be administered promptly after the bite or sting to maximize neutralization before toxins spread. The dosage too must be sufficient to overcome the quantity of venom injected. Most venoms are designed to be effective against a narrow range of closely related species to avoid adverse reactions from foreign antibodies. Examples of Common Anti Venoms Some widely used venoms include Protoin S for bites by Russell's vipers in South and Southeast Asia. It is very effective against the cardiotoxic phospholipases and hemorrhagic metalloproteinases in their venom. Another is the Biantidote forsaw-scaled or carpet vipers found in the Middle East, North Africa and parts of Asia. Anti Venom provides broad-spectrum neutralization against this medically important viper group. The Polyvalent Anti Snake Venom manufactured by India's Central Research Institute is effective against the four deadliest Indian snakes- cobras, kraits, saw-scaled vipers and Russell's vipers.

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[wheneverfeasible]

It had just been a joke.

He’d been bleeding out, dying, the pain from the demobat bites fading as that unending cold started to seep into his limbs. He was dying and Dustin was crying over him and he didn’t want to say goodbye but what else was there to do?

Pounding footfalls and then Steve and Nancy and Robin were skidding to his side amongst the fallen demobats and Steve was telling him to hang on, to not die, that they were there. Nancy and Robin were tearing garments to wrap around his bites but he didn’t care overly much, figuring it was for nothing. Instead, he was focused on Steve’s hand in his, pleading with him to hold on, and it was clearly just him babbling, but he’d said he’d do anything Eddie wanted if he just hung on.

And really, what better time to come out as gay to your crush than on your deathbed? Or, death-patch-of-dirt anyways.

“Go on a date with me then, Harrington,” he coughed out, choking on blood that splattered on his chin. Sexy.

Steve was noticeably shocked, and confused, but he gamely agreed if Eddie just promised not to die. Eddie blacked out with a grin on his face. He’d thought that was it, thought it was all over, except then he started feeling pain again. Which fucking sucked. Kind of rude to feel pain in death, unless Hawkins had been right and he was in Hell now. Bummer.

But then he heard the beeping, felt the cold air being forced into his nostrils, and he blinked open eyes that felt glued shut. Things were all woozy and fuzzy, but he saw big brown eyes staring at him and a smile he’d never thought he’d see directed at him of all people, and Steve was holding his hand again and that was nice.

Apparently he’d been in a coma for a month. Hilarious.

Steve had told him he’d been begging him to wake back up, they all were, and Eddie was high enough on pain killers to tease, “Didn’t think I’d let you out of our date that easily did you, big boy?”

He’d fallen back asleep almost immediately afterwards, so he didn’t get to see Steve’s reaction to that one, which was probably for the best, all things considered. Except Steve kept coming back, and he kept up the joke about taking Eddie on a date once he was better, even using it as encouragement when Eddie wanted to just give up and die from the pain he was in due to the multiple surgeries he was recovering from and undergoing.

Despite all that, he slowly but surely healed, able to finally move into the small house the government’s hush money had bought for them with Wayne after they also got him cleared of all charges yadda yadda yadda. Pretty sick deal, all things considered. All it took was being framed for multiple murders done by a psychotic supervillain and nearly mauled to death by demon bats. Easy peasy.

When Steve had given him a time and date for their supposed date, Eddie was just happy that the guy was able to joke about it with him instead of freaking out in typical Straight Jock. Steve apparently acknowledged his crush and still wanted to be friends, which was better than he could hope for. Or so he thought.

Because there was Steve, on his front porch, flowers in hand and looking far spiffier than Eddie ever recalled him looking like before. It looked like he’d even gotten a haircut. Good lord.

And it was amusing really, truly it was funny how far Steve was willing to take the joke, but something broke inside Eddie too because he was For Real Super Gay For Steve Harrington, but for Steve it was Just A Joke. And Eddie couldn’t take it anymore.

He snapped, hurt by his feelings not being taken seriously, and ranted about ex-jocks and pretty straight boys who treated being queer like a joke. Though Steve looked shocked at first, he ended up just looking amused by the end, which annoyed Eddie further. He was just about to enter another diatribe when Steve cut him off with a simple sentence that took all the wind out of his sails and left him gaping like a fish.

“Thanks for calling me pretty, but I’m actually bisexual.”

Eddie blinked. Steve smiled. Flowers were pressed into his hand.

“Now, the only joke around here is thinking my date can wear sweatpants to our dinner reservations, so go change into something appropriate, Munson. Honestly.”

As Eddie was ushered to his bedroom to change into something more fitting than stained and holey sweatpants, he tried to figure out where he had, in fact, lost the narrative. Because it had just been a joke.

But somehow he had ended up with a first kiss, a real life boyfriend, and a happily ever after he never would have expected. Go figure.

[moljh]

Can't Fix Him

Eddie Munson x Reader (fem)

Inspired by the prompt: 'I can't fix him but I can fuck him'

Fluff, smut, etc

The music was loud. You could feel the vibrations of the base coursing through your body before you had even entered the house. Tina's annual Halloween party was known for being the biggest and best thing in town on this night. She was lucky that her uncle worked in the mayor's office and had connections within the police department, otherwise you were sure the party would've been shut down from noise complaints. It was also a good thing that her lavish house was situated at the end of a sprawling drive, so as to keep the drunk teenagers away from the rest of the roaming children in the streets.

Coming to the front door, your friends didn't bother knocking on the door as it would have been pointless. Walking inside you were immediately hit with the abrasive smell of weed and alcohol in the air. You weren't shocked by the presence of either, but you were surprised at how despite the open back doors how strong the smell remained.

The four of you had your way over to the punch, where you each filled your cup and took a swig of the mystery liquid. A familiar burning flowed down your throat and warmth filled your stomach. It was just what you wanted on a cool night as this and especially after a brutal week at school.

"I'm going to see if I can find Simon" one of your friends declared, venturing off into the crowd to find the boy she had been seeing but refused to say it was officially considered dating

That left the three of you and soon the other two headed off to the bathroom together leaving you on your lonesome. You didn't mind it though, gave you a moment to survey the crowd and gather who was there. In the centre of it all were couples pressed against each other dancing along to the music, while their bodies became sweatier and sweatier.

Having the urge for a cigarette, you decided to do the right thing by Tina and headed out back for a smoke. Winding your way through the people filling the house, you managed to find a chair near the back of the house that wasn't too crowded. You could hear the chanting in the distance and someone was obviously winning some sort of drinking game and you made a mental note to head over that way afterwards to see what all the fuss was about.

Sitting down you began rummaging in your pocket for you pack of smokes and lighter.

"Fuck," you muttered under your breath as you realised you had left your lighter in your bag at home

You sat there for a moment, disgruntled in the situation as the unlit cigarette hung from your lips sadly.

"Need some help there?" a voice behind you asked and you spun around to face who had spoken

From the shrouded darkness a few feet in front of you they stepped out like some sort of supervillain and into the light. They had something else between their lips but you could tell from the smell that it wasn't tobacco.

"What's Eddie Munson doing at Tina's party?" you asked smugly He chuckled at your question "How else are those basketball idiots meant to get high?" he retorted "Touché" you said, "can I get that light then?" you asked, gesturing to the still unlit cigarette "What do I get if I do?" Eddie sarcastically questioned back "You get to say for the first time that you made a girls night" you shot back

Leaning forward, he slowly extended his arm and used his lighter to light your cigarette. It was in that moment, as Eddie 'The Freak' Munson was so close to you, with only the dim light from the distance and his lighter that you noticed how handsome he actually was. Hidden underneath the bravado and mane of hair, was an attractive face.

"Definitely not the first time a girl has told me that" he cockily remarked, pulling away

The two of you remained there, content in the silence as he worked his way through the joint and you the cigarette.

"So I know why you came in the first place, but why have you stayed then?" you asked him, though he seemed confused by your question "I mean, I doubt anyone here is exactly welcoming to you" you tried to put in the best possible way, without outright saying that people hated him and thought he was a total freak "Well they're smoking my weed, I may as well drink their booze" "I mean, technically I think it's Rick's weed," you said, shooting him a knowing look "You got me there y/n" he replied and you were surprised he knew your name

You weren't sure how much time had passed, but as you came to the butt of your smoke, you dropped it to the ground and used the tip if your boot to stamp it out. Standing up you looked back to where a crowd was formed on the back lawn and noticed your friends at the edge keeping a watchful eye on you.

"Thanks for the light Munson," you said "Any time y/l/n" Eddie said as you walked away

It took you all of five seconds to walk across the lawn and back into the music and heat of everyone.

"Were you just talking to Eddie Munson?" your friends collectively asked as you rejoined the group "Yeah," you replied nonchalantly "and?" "He's such a freak though" Melanie remarked "He wasn't that bad, you know up close he's actually pretty good looking" "Actually if you look at old photos y/n's not wrong" Andrea chimed in "Yeah, just give it all a bit of a trim and fix him up a bit…" Taylor added "he mightn't be all that bad" "I mightn't be able to fix him in a night…" you began, thinking about what you were about to say next "but I might be able to fuck him"

The three of them let out a shocked gasp at your declaration. Each of you had your own conquests, but your interest in Eddie went against your usual type.

"Oh my god y/n, you can't be serious?" Andrea said Taylor laughed before she spoke "I think it's iconic really, you have to" "And then immediately tell us" Melanie added "I think I'm just tipsy enough that this seems like a good idea" you declared to your friends

You appreciated that they didn't judge you or run off to gossip about your idea. You gave them all a quick goodbye and brief hug before making you way back over to the edge of the house where you'd last seem Eddie.

He wasn't where you had left him all of five minutes ago, so you walked down the side of the house to see if he had made his way to the front. You stood there for a moment, clearly out of place standing by yourself looking around for him. You knew if it took you long enough to find him, you'd lose your confidence and back out of the impulsive decision you were making.

That's when a van pulled up in front of you and the window rolled down to reveal just the guy you'd been looking for.

"You alright?" he asked, seemingly with genuine concern "Feel like giving me a ride?" you softly asked "Sure," he said "jump in"

Getting inside the van you were grateful to see that it was far cleaner inside than expected. Hopping into the passenger seat you began giving Eddie vague directions towards your house, with little intention of actually taking him there. Driving along the bare backroads you began fiddling with your necklace, when you felt the clasp open and it slip from your neck.

"Oh shit," you muttered leaning forward, trying to locate it in the darkness "You right?" Eddie asked, still driving and keeping his eyes on the road "I just dropped my necklace…" you said "do you have a flashlight or something back there that I could use to find it?" "Umm…" he seemed to trail off in thought, trying to go through the van's inventory "there should be one, let me just pull over and check"

Stopping in a spot just off the road, he turned and looked haphazardly behind him for the flashlight, but with no success. Huffing, you undid your seatbelt and climbed over into the back to look for it. Although you were genuinely trying to locate it, you became more aware that Eddie was getting a nice view of your ass as your remained bent over in the back looking for the light.

"I have no clue where this thing is," you declared "can you help me?" "Oh um, yeah, sure…" he replied, "just give me a second"

You heard the ignition turn off and the van move as he climbed over the back to where you were. The two of you continued to look for a few more seconds until you sighed and turned around in supposed defeat.

"It might be a lost cause" you said, adjusting your seat and coincidentally moving closer to where Eddie was "I think so…" he replied, seemingly doing the same movement as you "so…" he awkwardly said, as if to avoid the silence "So what?" you innocently said, looking up at him with flirtatious eyes

You both sat there for a moment, leaning ever so slightly closer to the other, unsure who was going to make the first move. You slowly moved your hand from the floor of the van and along his denim covered thigh. He let out a slight moan at the action which signaled to you that he was happy with your decision.

Continuing the movement of your curious fingers, you grazed them up his firm chest and towards the back of his neck. You carefully ran your fingers through his curls and finally settled on his cheek.

"You're going to need to stop doing that" he gruffly said, shooting you a knowing look "Stop what?" you said with a wide-eyed innocence as if you truly didn't know what you were doing to him "you mean this?" you remarked, moving your other hand up and pausing at the cold clasp of his belt buckle "you want me to stop then?" "Well not know" he said

From there few words were spoken. Eddie wrapped his rough hand around the back of your neck and pulled you into him. His lips were soft and welcoming as he kissed you. You moved with him as he kissed you deeper and held you closer. Moving his hand into your hair he grasped the base of your hair tightly, causing you to let out a soft moan, seeing his chance he gently bit down on your bottom lip and slowly moved his mouth down your neck.

You needed to better position yourself, so you placed your hand flat against his chest and pulled back for a moment. He seemed surprised as you lifted your leg over him and proceeded to straddle him. This time you took charge, peppering kisses along his jaw and down his neck towards his exposed nape. Moving back up you lightly nipped his earlobe making him needily groan.

You could feel his fingers playing with the hem of your shirt, and you helped him by pulling it off swiftly. His eyes expanded as he came face to face with your boobs within a bright red lace bra.

"Oh my god you're so gorgeous" he said, cupping your breasts and squeezing them slightly making you grin "This needs to come off now" you informed him referring to his shirt, which is quickly obliged

He didn't waste long removing your bra and throwing it across the van. He brought his lips to your nipples and ran his tongue around them, making you throw your head back in pleasure. Eddie continued this for a bit longer and you anticipated a hickey in the morning.

"My turn" you told him, pushing him down onto his back

He lay there still, as you inched slowly further down. Teasing him, you took your time with his belt, making his squirm as you could already see how hard he was underneath the constraints of the denim. Finally allowing him free, you pulled down his trousers and boxers with them to reveal his impressive length.

He was longer and girthier than you had anticipated, not insanely big but big enough to make you audibly gasp. Running your hand over it, you smirked as he let out a soft moan at your movements. Seductively looking up at him, you made eye contact as you ran your tongue from the base to the tip of his cock. You could feel him throbbing and he couldn't stop letting out moans of pleasure as you continued to wrap your mouth around him.

"Holy shit y/n, just like that" he gasped as you felt him hit the back of your throat and he grabbed ahold of your head and pushed you down further causing you to gag.

Coming back up for air, he looked at you with pure sex in his eyes and leant down, placing a soft kiss to your lips.

"Think it's your turn now," he whispered into your ear and suddenly flipped you over, so now he was on top of you

He pulled your own jeans down quickly and practically ripped your panties off when he came to them. You could feel that you were already wet at that thought of him and shuddered as he ran his fingers over your clit.

"You're so wet" he chuckled, slowly moving his fingers around, slipping one between your folds "Just for you" you muttered, eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of him touching you You felt his hot breath against your ear as he said "what do you want me to do to you?"

His words made you squirm.

"I want you to fuck me until I can't walk" you said without even thinking "Oh that was a given sweetheart" was all he said before going down on you

His tongue moved with expertise. You'd never had someone move the way he did. Flicking his tongue over your clit he inserted two fingers inside of you and moved them in just the right way. Arching your back he pinned you down, preventing you from moving away from his mouth. It came over you before you could even realise and your body shook with pleasure against his tongue and around his fingers.

"I need you inside of me" you said, desperate to feel him

You could hear him rustling around for a moment and then come back to you, quickly putting a condom on. You were glad that he had come prepared because in the heat of it all you had completely forgot.

You gasped in pleasure as you felt him press the tip of his cock against your opening. You gripped his bare back and ran your nails down it. He held there for a second and then thrusted the rest of his length within you. You couldn't help but let out a cry as he filled you up completely.

"Are you ok?" he immediately asked upon hearing you "Yes!" you exclaimed, overcome with pleasure "keep going"

He began to thrust in and out of you, making you shuddering beneath him. As he moved you rotated your hips with him, causing him to moan as well. You stayed like that for a while, consumed within each other until his pace began to slow.

"Are you going to cum for me?" you asked, wanting him to say yes "I'm so close" he breathily said against your lips as he pulled you back in "Good" you said

He get pumping into you and suddenly quickened again, slamming into you making your walls tighten. Your breath began to shorten and you dug your fingers into his back again, as his breaths faltered too and you felt yourself approaching the edge once again. Eddie let out a few final moans and you felt yourself contract around him as you came simultaneously.

"Fuck" he gasped as he finally came and collapsed in exhaustion next to you "Wow" was all you said, staring up in disbelief at the ceiling of the van

You half expected him to get straight up and drive you home, but he rolled onto his side and pulled you towards him once again. Kissing you this time it felt less desperate and hungry, more sincere and soft.

"Is that how you expected tonight to go?" you asked, chuckling lightly "Let's just say I didn't think offering a light to y/n y/l/n would end up with me having the best sex of my life in the back of my van" he declared "Damn," you remarked "best sex of your life eh? Think I deserve a medal or something for that" "Trust me," Eddie said, wrapping his hand around the back of your neck once more "you can ask for more than just that"

[savage-kult-of-gorthaur]

"MEET SPIDEY'S ARCH-ENEMY IN HIS OWN 6-PART LIMITED SERIES STARTING THIS DECEMBER."

PIC INFO: This month in symbiotic, alien terror in the Marvel Universe -- Resolution at 1200×1861 -- Spotlight on a B&W Marvel house ads and/or promo adverts for "Venom: Lethal Protector" Vol. 1 (with a then-release date of December 1992). Artwork by Mark Bagley & Sam De La Rosa.

PIC #2: Resolution at 730×1132 -- Colored version.

Sources: https://forum.sanctuary.fr/t/page-s-de-pub/185608/225?page=9 & X.

[ultraericthered]

Hey, don’t forget this one!

No Spider-Man connection, but he’s still valid, dammit!

Me: Ah today is a lovely day. The birds are singing, I’m out of school, and everything is alri-

My Brain: Hi, remember Venom?

Me who knows that I’ll have to edit my top 20 AGAIN: … Why Me?

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Phineas and Ferb fascinates me from a structural standpoint. I'll admit I haven't watched the show front to back, but I've caught the odd episode here and there and I certainly get the gist of it.

The first time I saw P&F it seemed charming but unremarkable, the second and probably third time it became obvious that it was a clever but formulaic show. At some point it clicked. Children's shows are usually formulaic, Dee Dee will destroy Dexter's invention, Elmer Fudd will fail to hunt the Wabbit, He-Man will defeat Skeletor, and Sisyphus will roll that boulder up that hill. Phineas and Ferb asks not just that we imagine Sisyphus happy, but that we imagine that he is ecstatic to see that boulder roll down the hill.

Where the status quo is an unspoken rule of older cartoons it is the explicit law of the P&F universe. There is a roadmap to every episode, you probably already know it but I will spell it out regardless. Phineas will say the phrase "I know what we're gonna do today" thus kicking off their project for the episode. Candace will try and fail to get them "busted". There will be a musical number. Meanwhile Doofenshmirtz will have made an -inator that Perry will be called upon to destroy. Perry will get caught, Doofenshmirtz will explain his plan, Perry will escape, destroy the -inator and the ensuing chaos will clean up Phineas and Ferb's backyard shenanigans just in time for their mom to get home. Ferb says something at the very end, often his only line in the whole episode. The end.

There are stock lines that must be said. "I know what we're gonna do today" "I wonder where Perry is" "Busted" "🎵Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated🎶". The show doesn't just have a cartoon status quo, the universe operates off of the laws of cartoon status quo to the extent that characters actively notice when the cycle doesn't complete correctly. The characters seemingly know that their world operates on cartoon physics, but to them it's just physics. In P&F a giant whirlwind carrying away a giant backyard amusement park is as natural as gravity.

Candace's place as the character who knows this is all insane must be a tortuous existence considering the whole world is conspired against her. Not out of a cosmic meanness but a deep thematic kindness. Candace is the only character whose intent is to cause purposeful harm and the universe will not let her get away with it.

Truly this is one of the most unerringly kind shows I've ever seen. It is unreal how much faith it puts into wordplay, running jokes, and raw absurdity to carry itself while never stepping into the realm of cartoon cruelty.

You know cartoon cruelty. It's why Tom gets punished for Jerry's actions and why the Trix rabbit can never eat his own damn cereal. At its best cartoon cruelty manifests as Ed, Edd n Eddy or the Looney Tunes short Duck Amok where there is catharsis in seeing the characters hoisted by their own petard. At its worst you get CatDog which is so intensely cruel to the character of Cat that I can't comprehend what the writers were going for.

The confident lack of irony is part of what makes Phineas And Ferb work. The show is a parade of cartoon cliches and dad jokes and it never it never winks at the viewer or lampshades how silly this is. It just has absolute faith that the corniest jokes ever really are that funny. And so they are. I actually laugh out loud every time they do the "Aren't you a little young for this?" "Yes, yes I am" bit. Maybe it's the delivery, maybe it's just the confidence in the bit. Probably a bit of both. I am smiling to myself just thinking of this dumb running joke.

But what this all amounts to is what every bit of fandom wankery amounts to. I am of course talking about shipping. For my money the best bit in the show is the romantic framing of Doofenshmirtz and Perry's rivalry. This is where the show's cartoon logic and unrepentant kindness synthesize perfectly. The homoerotic undertones of the spy/supervillain dynamic are an extremely tired observation and are usually only emphasized in an ironic sense to poke fun at pieces that never intended the gay subtext. P&F flips this joke by not being even a little bit ironic about it, but still adhering to the unspoken nature of the gag.

The end result is that Perry and Doofenshmirtz's status as a romantic couple is tacitly understood to be part of the shows status quo, but never commented on. The world of P&F is too inherently kind to be homophobic (homophobia being a key component of the joke) but it still has a joke shaped hole to fill. So it does the funniest possible thing and fills the hole with nothing. The joke is the lack of a joke. The expectation of a joke that is met with a shrug from the show's own internal logic. And that's really funny. An evil scientist and a platypus are in a loving relationship that happens to also be a hero/villain rivalry. Don't worry about it. It's not the weirdest thing happening in the tri state area I promise.