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astroyongie · 6 months

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Why Am I This Way - Psychology Answers

Note: hey guys! This will be a little series post mainly based on psychology. In order for me to congratulate myself for finally achieving my masters in clinical psychology I have decided to create these mini posts that will contain different questions that we often ask ourselves. In these questions I will provide psychological answers in which they will hopefully bring you a sense of understanding on yourself! Enjoy!

Note 2: This first Why Am I This Way will be based on the “How Am I” Section. Other sessions will include “Why do I behave this way?”, “How Others see me”, “What's Happening” and “How can I get better?”

This section will have the following parts: “I know I shouldn't but.. can I have another piece of cake?”; “I love to be alone.. am I weird?”; “Why do I procrastinate so much’”; “ Am I really a good person?”; “ I was just joking!”, “Why does it always happen to me?”, “Why do I hate working so much?” and “Should I be more egocentric?”

With that said, let's dive into it!

“How Am I” Section

“I know I shouldn't but.. can I have another piece of cake?”

What happens in the unconscious brain:

Based on Freud’s work, these type of questions that overwhelm us are usually thoughts linked with pent up guilt that is unconsciously working its way out

One thing is clear. Often, we don't realize the things that we think and we don't always understand our actions and our behaviors. When we stop to reflect on it, we are usually stuck in a sense of guilt for doing things that are against our values and morals and yet we cannot understand why we have done things that way.

Based on the most known theories of Freud, the ID and the superego (based on ID, EGO and SUPEREGO Theory) are actually the ones that are behind these guilty feelings of “should i do this or not, even if i know that i will regret it later”.

ID is the mind that is first formed when we are born. It is something rigid on our unconscious, something that is based on the principle of pleasure. The ID is constantly seeking gratification and pleasure in order to smooth our anguish within one self.

The superEgo is different, it is the last thing that is formatted in the unconscious (after the Ego) and it works on the principle of the world’s rules. Basically it is a part of us that comprehends the world around us and it tries to follow the rules and the interdictions that were instructed when we were younger.

Now this is why many of us struggles with this. Having craving desires about something, and that guilty feeling coming from the Superego because we have internalized that what we want is wrong.

Someone that has had a harsh childhood, who has been neglected or has seen their rules being too strict will often struggle with this, because they need to have their ID smoothed but they cannot bear the guilt.

This is what happens: ID wants to be fed with something comforting. Chocolate! so it stays in your head “let's have chocolate!” and the superego will whiplash right after “are you crazy? Having chocolate? you cant even fit in your pants and you want chocolate! you should be ashamed of yourself!”

This is basically how overthinking your worth will work, how one often develops Eating disorders for example or bad relationships with food, but this also happens with social relationships, addictions and any reward system.

The fear of the outside world usually unleashed that overwhelming anxiety that will after turn into guilt if you give in to your ID or it turns into restrictive punishment if you follow the Superego.

Many of us will put so much effort into controlling impulsive destructive thoughts and behaviors in order to muffle the critics of Superego but that often results in depression, anxiety and an affinity with other psychological problems.

So what can we do?

understand where those desires come from. If your ID is making you crave something, either food, social contact, a new dress, a new drink or anything that it is, ask yourself where this feeling comes from? Are you bored? are you sad? are you upset? Are you overly excited? understanding that process and allowing yourself not to be psychorigid is already a big improvement. find balance between rewarding yourself and being true to your rules. Also stop punishing yourself, You have done nothing wrong. You deserve to be happy and smoothed the same way you deserve to go beyond your addictions

Understand in which you fall. If you are the type to crave in in your desires it means these possibilities: Early trauma ou neglect, environmental stressors, maladaptive coping mechanism,, substance abuse, personality disorders, lack of emotional regulation skills and cultural and social influences

If you fall in the fragil superego, if you are too strict with yourself, it means these possibilities: weak parental influence, traumatic experience, overly harsh and permissive parenting, lack of role model, cultural influence, early childhood experiences like rejection and personality disorders.

For those who have balance between giving in desires and restraining, then congrats! You are a rather healthy being

Now that you know this, you have a start on where to work to become a better version of yourself

#psychology #psychology facts #psychology notes #psychanalyse #self help

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just-horrible-things · 1 year

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‘Verse: Box Boy Universe Story: A Girl Called Spider Timeline: Early training

Crying [ First | Next ]

Rayce sits at the backmost table in the canteen, glumly dunking shortbread in his coffee. He keeps losing bits, and he knows they’re piling up as sludge at the bottom of the mug. It's making the prospect of actually drinking the coffee less and less appealing.

He barely notices his supervisor approaching until Mitchell sits opposite him, holding a mug of his own. Rayce offers him the – now substantially depleted – pack of shortbread, and gets a puzzled look in return.

“What’s eating you, kiddo?” “Hm?” “You’ve been sat there with the same coffee since I came in to eat twenty minutes ago. What’s on your mind?” “Oh.” Has it been that long? “Just work stuff.” “You know you can bring your problems to me, right?” Mitchell takes a biscuit from the pack, inspects it for a moment like he’s never seen one before, and takes a bite – without dunking it in his coffee. “Yeah,” Rayce sighs, “I know. I just… wanted to see if I could figure it out myself, you know? Professional growth or something.” Mitchell grunts acknowledgment.

Rayce sips his coffee, careful not to drink too deep. It’s kinda cold. Maybe it has been twenty minutes.

“It’s, uh, 261,” he admits at length. “She was doing so well, but last week she started crying when I touch her, and it’s getting worse not better. She’s just crying all the time now. I’ve tried punishing it, I’ve tried slowing down – I know we’re not supposed to worry too much but – it felt like I was really making progress, you know?” Mitchell looks at Rayce, then shakes his head and laughs. “You are definitely worrying too much. It’s just a phase, a lot of them go through it. She’ll get over it. She’s just… adjusting. She’ll be a better pet when she comes out the other side, trust me.”

It’s a relief to hear it, honestly. Rayce was a little afraid he’d somehow broken her – and not in the good way.

“Alright,” he says. “Yeah, I knew I was worrying too much. Just… what do I do with it? Punish it? Ignore it? Back off?” Mitchell scratches his chin idly. “Chill out about it, for a start,” he suggests. “You’re not gonna mess it up that badly.” Rayce grunts. He takes another shortbread, and rotates it between his fingers trying to decide whether to dunk it in the lukewarm coffee.

“How does she take it,” Mitchell asks, “when you tell her to stop crying?” “Oh, she’s sorry. She’s still being sweet, still doing what she’s told – well, trying to. She just cries worse after I shocked her for it... I don’t know whether to just power through? Maybe it’d stop eventually? I feel like if I ease off maybe it’d help her learn, and we could build the intensity back up slowly. But then again, I don’t want to reward her for crying…” “You’re definitely overthinking it. The most important thing is to pick a plan and stick to it. They need consistency.” Rayce sighs heavily.

“This is your first rodeo as primary, isn’t it?” “Well, second, really,” Rayce answers, “but the other one was nearly finished, so she was easy. Her original primary had a baby, so I took over for the last few weeks.” “You just need to stop panicking. C’mon, pull yourself together, kid. How long have you been here now? Stop crying into your coffee, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” “Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.”

“You want to know how I’d proceed? Business as usual. You can’t stop doing the things that make her cry, that’d be rewarding it. But you don’t have to fry her. So long as she keeps trying to learn, you can reward that by being patient. Punish her if she stops putting in the effort. And just keep on with the rest of her training. Nine times out of ten, the crying stops on its own.”

—

The tears start up again as soon as he lets himself into the cell. His pretty girl responds promptly, already moving by the time the door is open, into the centre of the room to sit on her knees. Her hands fold neatly in her lap.

She looks up at him through wet lashes. Her lips are slightly parted like they’re meant to be, but they tremble. A crease forms between her brows, fades as she consciously smooths it out, and forms again. And tears roll steadily down her cheeks to form dark spots on her t-shirt.

“Good morning, Handler,” she whispers. It’s evening, but it doesn’t matter. She was asleep, probably, so she thinks it’s morning. “I-I’m sorry, Handler, I’m sorry.” “You’re crying again,” Rayce observes tiredly. “Yes, Handler,” she agrees. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I don’t know how to stop.”

She doesn’t beg him not to shock her. She knows better than that. But he sees her tiny flinches at every movement of his hands.

“You’ll learn,” he says, trying to channel Mitchell’s confidence. “It’s alright. You’re just going through a phase.” She blinks up at him, drips falling from her eyelashes. “I’ll learn,” she repeats back. “H-how do I learn, Handler?” “Just practice,” he answers. “You’ll get the hang of it.” “Do you promise?” she sniffles. Then, “sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t get to ask –” “I promise,” he says. “But you’re right, you don’t get to ask. Now c’mere. We’re going to the training room.”

She does as she’s told. She follows. She does everything she’s told. She doesn’t flinch, or try to pull away from touch. She tries to make the right faces.

The tears don’t stop.

But… she doesn’t break down into sobbing either. Much better than yesterday. Rayce can hear her taking deep breaths, holding them, and letting them out shakily. She’s trying. He doesn’t have to punish her.

“M-may I talk, Handler?” she asks when he’s done with the warmup round. “Go ahead,” he allows. “I just want to be good,” she whispers. “I just – I am sorry for crying, I am. I don’t want to cry. I can’t stop.” “I know,” Rayce says, petting her between her shoulder blades. “I know, you’ll get there.” “I want to be good,” she repeats.

It’s become her mantra lately. It’s a good mantra for a Pet.

“It’s just a phase,” Rayce tells her. “It happens to a lot of trainees. You’ll come out the other side.” “I want to,” she agrees, voice wobbly. “It just might take a little while, okay? You’re going to keep practicing until gets easy.”

“If…” she wavers, “i-if you keep punishing me, Handler, with the collar…” Rayce gives her a warning frown, but she forges on nervously. “Will it fix it? Will I stop crying? I don’t care, I just want it to stop –” “That’s for me to decide,” he tells her sharply. “Sorry, Handler,” she flinches, chastened. “I just – w-wanted to say that I don’t mind, if it makes me good…” “Are you trying to do my job for me, trainee?” “No, Handler, I’m sorry Handler.” “Does it matter what you want, or mind?” “No, Handler. I’m sorry.” “... Just trust me, okay? You keep practicing, and it will stop.” She nods, shoulders shaking with another suppressed sob, and nuzzles her face against his chest.

Mitchell had better be right about this one.

[Next]

#my writing #bbu #noncon tw #a girl called spider #654261: spider #handler rayce #in which we see a completely different perspective on spider to her own

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apricot-tarot · 3 years

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PAC READING: A Self-Care Message For You

Click on the ‘KEEP READING’ to go to your pile.

note: I forgot to put in the numbers. So, from L-R we got 1,2,3,4

I had a hard time figuring out how to title this reading. I don’t really like using the word “self-care” idk why lol. Anyway, I convinced myself that this is an efficient title for this reading. The reading is about breaking down on what you should be proud of, what do you need to heal, what you should change and what is your greatest strength.

Honestly I did not know where I was going for this one but I really wanted to do it. This was also supposed to be short and compact but it turned out quite the opposite.

To anyone who does this reading, I would love and appreciate any kind of feedback. Choose pile that calls you in. It is a general reading so take what resonates for you.

DISCLAIMER- Tarot is not a substitution for medical, financial or legal advice.

Image Credits: Images were generated via Wombo.art

Enjoy✨

Pile 1:

What you should be proud of - Page of Cups(Rx); 2 of Wands

For pile 1, you were able to make some sort of decision, an ambitious one. You are set on your ways and are looking forward to implement your new idea of goal, kind of see it through. For most of you the plans are still undergoing. The reason why you should be proud is because it took you some effort to come to this 2 of Wands energy aka the decision. You were feeling a bit emotionally stunted and just pessimistic, you just did not allow yourself to dream or listen to your intuition. Maybe, you have not gotten rid of this energy completely but the cards here do tell that you have taken a step to the right direction and you should certainly be proud of that.

What do you need to heal - The Hanged Man; 9 of Cups(RX)

Your wishes were not fulfilled and this caused you to be in stagnation mode. Maybe this “going-within” mode is done and over. I think you lamenting on what did not happen is holding you back. It is time to heal. I believe that it’s hard for you to move on from these wishes or dreams. I am not saying you should let go of them, that is not the message. It is rather about how you are reacting or have reacted to it. So, in order to take care for yourself, you need a healthier approach to it. Maybe, don’t fully give up but for the time being you need to stop putting other things on hold or to be more precise... putting yourself on hold. For some of you, this pause can also be involuntary. This whole thing can also be a thing of a past, however the message here is that you need to heal from it.

What should you change - 6 of Wands; 9 of Swords

Here there is a need to change the fear and the anxiety you have over a step you took successfully. It’s like you took a step forward, were able to do it well but now you are overwhelmed and are being riddled with anxiety, fear and overall stress. I am not sure if you are just overthinking it or if there is a certain thing that is actually making you have this burden but the mental anguish you are going through it’s becoming too much. It could also be that you have this fear of success. So, it can be that the cards here are not talking about something that has happened or is happening but rather about you having this innate fear of success.

I also feel that for pile 1, during the day you do what you have to do and tackle down all your “to-do-list”. Then after the day ends or all your tasks are done, you spiral down with your negative thoughts. This is not good and you know it. You need to do something about it. You can’t change it overnight but just start somewhere.

Greatest Strength - 10 of Pentacles

Your greatest strength is your ability to look at the bigger picture. You are able to sit back and not overthink every little detail and worry about what will happen. You are confident in your efforts and are patient to let time do her thing. You are good at being at peace because you believe that you will get rewarded. You are the type of person that lives by the idea of “trust the process”. This is your strength. No matter if you are into a bad or good place in life, you know that in the end everything will make sense and you will be where you are supposed to be. You are very responsible, especially financially. You work hard towards making sure that you can take care of yourself and the people around you. If you have access to some family money, you can make the best out of it and grow it.

Looking at the card you got here (as your greatest strength) and the rest of the reading, it feels you are forgetting how capable you are. Take a step back and remind yourself of your strength and potential.

Pile 2:

What you should be proud of - King of Pentacles; Ace of Wands

You are mature, reliable and even financially savvy. You are very creative and are bursting with this creative energy. Maybe your inventiveness and your creativeness are something new for you or you have just started to indulge in it. This could be why you feel a bit so-so about it. Well, you should be proud of all these characteristics you have. Your new creative force mixed with you being a responsible and mature person will yield good results. I think you have the ability to build something solid and profitable out of your creative projects. You should be proud of the fact that you can build something stable out of your passions.

What do you need to heal - The Hierophant; The Sun(Rx)

As soon as I got these two cards I thought of the fact that some long-held tradition has caused you to let go of things that bring you happiness. People who chose this pile might have had an upbringing that led them to have some self-limiting beliefs. It could also be that the “old ways” (let’s put it that way) have not allowed you to be fully yourself. It’s like it diminished your light and sucked the joy out of you slowly. You always have felt that this is bigger than you and you had to succumb to it. The Hierophant represents institutions and traditions and with the Sun in reverse, I feel like you have been conditioned to suppress who you are or you just never thought of doing so because that was never on the table. The message here is to heal and let yourself be just the way you are.

What should you change - 3 of Swords; Justice(Rx)

Are you trying to go for “a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye”. Leave it be. Whoever or whatever caused you pain will get their own karma. Don’t waste your energy on something that at the end of the day does not benefit you in any way. It’s a waste of energy. Focus on yourself because what I can get from the cards that showed up in the other sections, you have so much potential. You are resourceful, smart, creative and you focusing on this whole shenanigan is such a loss of time. Everything will fall in its place so why bother with anything/anyone but yourself and your life.

Greatest Strength - The Magician

You are the one who is in charge of your reality. You can create and manifest anything. Your greatest strength is your ability to make something out of nothing. You have it in you to materialize your wishes and dreams. If you use your willpower and strive for something, you can make whatever is intangible now become real and achievable. Maybe you should try vision boards. I think you might enjoy them and they will help you. This is only a suggestion though, I thought it might be a good “self-care” routine.

Pile 3:

What you should be proud of - 7 of Swords, Queen of Wands (Rx) + 7 of Pentacles (bcs it jumped out)

Okay, so this one got me wondering a little which is why I opted to write two interpretations. The cards that appeared in each section kind of gave me an idea on the overall energy which is why I think the “2nd interpretation” might not resonate a lot but only for a very few...or maybe no one at all. However, I included it bcs this is a general reading and I felt like it should be included.

Btw, the 7 of Pentacles just wanted to be part of this reading so we will include her too. So, for those of you who chose this pile, I think you have finally achieved or figured out how to deal with this feminine figure who is a bit too domineering and pushy. I think you learnt how to kind of “trick” her and make things work. I think with these three cards here you are working consistently to prove yourself to this person in your life and it is getting a bit too much. You should be proud that you learnt how to deal with this person and if you have to use certain ways, that is okay. As long as nothing harmful is happening, you’re good. I think here, for pile 3, the message is about being proud of making it work.

Now, I will include the other thing, just in case. You might also be the one who is domineering and pushy and you might have some manipulative ways. If this resonates, then you recognized this and you are learning how to work through it and are putting in the effort to change. Be proud of the progress you have made.

What do you need to heal - 3 of Swords; The Emperor

Well..tbh this screams daddy issues. I mean this is a general reading so take what resonates but it has to do with pain caused by an older masculine figure. It can be your dynamic with your father or fatherly figure. Maybe it stems from your childhood and it is still affecting you to this day. For some others, it can also be about a romantic relationship where the other was much older than you and this particular relationship just messed you up. For those of you that it is about your father or whoever was/is your paternal figure, you need to heal from this pain that you are harboring. No matter if this is about your paternal figure or about a relationship or ex-partner, you need to tend to your wound and heal.

What should you change - 7 of Wands (Rx); Page of Wands (Rx)

You have not been able to prove yourself and you feel the pressure on you. There is frustration and defensiveness coming from you. This could also be because of one particular person. If all of this has to do with one person then you need to change your dynamic with them. You are being impatient and are wasting your energy by even being a bit immature. I think you also are feeling clueless on how exactly to get out out of this battle (let’s give it this term) you are in. I can tell that in a way you have had enough because you are having to deal with all sorts of things but you need to change your approach to it. You are being a little inflexible, maybe ask for advice or help. Be honest with yourself on what can actually be helpful. I think the change here should be of the situation mostly. It would be too exhausting for you to go on like this for a long time. You have already lost a lot of your energy.

Greatest Strength - The Chariot

Your greatest strength is the fact that you are unstoppable. No matter what you will continue onto your path and nothing will stop you. You look ahead and have your sights set towards the future. You are a visionary and honestly you don’t really care about the obstacles. You know that almost everything is temporary and shall pass, and this way of thinking gives you power. Your strength lies in your ability to be optimistic, determined, motivated and you are always looking ahead. Remind yourself of this strength of yours, it could be of immense help to you.

Pile 4:

What you should be proud of - The Empress; 2 of Pentacles

These cards lead me to believe that those who chose this pile have a very strong feminine energy and well... you should be proud of it. Maybe you have not really embraced it. There is power to your femininity so do not try to diminish it or hide it away. I think lately you are involved or started a new thing, probably profitable or has the potential to be. You are still learning how to balance all of it. I think that your skills in general and even the things that you have currently undertaken are branded by society as “a woman's job” or a “girl’s thing”. You could be a great at sewing, cooking, gardening makeup etc. (something along these lines). I think you are good at more than one of these. Just don’t hold back because of how it may perceived. Be proud of it and try more than one at the same time. You will be able to keep up.

edit: for pile 4 when I was writing down this section of the reading, I wanted to add a song to your reading. The song that I was reminded of was Diva by Dana International. Maybe go listen to it.

What do you need to heal - 10 of Swords; 8 of Wands

Something that ended abruptly left you broken and shattered. There is loss and you also had to move on pretty quickly. It’s as if you did not have any chance to even think about what happened. I think that something changed so drastically and so fast that you were not able to process it. The circumstances maybe did not allow you to do so. Anyway, you need to do so. I think that the message here is that you should tend to your wounds because you never had the chance to do so.

What should you change - Page of Wands; Queen of Wands Rx

So, we have this enthusiasm and bursting energy here. On the other hand, there is also hints of being a little self-conceited, kind of suffocating and a bit aggressive. I feel like when you get into this energy of wanting to be explorative and are being purposeful with this energy, you have the tendency to also go into this destructive mode and be too much. I guess here you need to maintain a balance. You should change the chaotic energy and learn how to command it. Channel it properly and you will see the good results or the positive impact that it will bring.

p.s how many times did I say the word energy here lol

Greatest Strength - 5 of Pentacles

Before I start, I would like to say that in general, to put it simply the 5 of Pentacles is the poverty card. For me, most of the time it has come out as being in survival mode. That’s the best way to put it. So, getting the 5 of Pentacles here made me think that in a way it fits perfectly. Anyway to get back to the actual reading, your greatest strength is to endure and survive. I know that sounds a bit overwhelming and kind of exhausting but it is a very important life skill to have. You keep going even when everything is against you. You also have the ability to take along with you the people in your life, or to be more precise the ones that are in the same situation as you. You do not stop and let despair defeat you. You also have the ability to grab the opportunity that is given to you despite the fact that it might take a while for you to notice. Anyway, just know that no matter how weak and defeated you might feel you will prevail. It’s in you to always make it despite the circumstances.

#pick a card reading #pac reading #pac #pick a card #tarot #general reading #tarot pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #a message for you tarot #divination #tarotblr

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effeminateboyninja · 3 years

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hi!! can I request shikamaru coming home to find a gn!reader listening to one of his playlists in the shower? fluff or nsfw, whichever is easier!

thank you thank you thank youuuu for this wonderfully self-indulgent request, this is actually my dream, so. anyway, i hope you like it lovely!! 💚

Yes, this one's for you

(Shikamaru x gn!reader) fluff // 1.3k words

🎶 troublesome playlist

What a drag.

Shikamaru sighed to himself and raked his fingers through his charcoal hair, glad to finally be finished with his responsibilities for the time being. The day had been more effort than it was worth, the better part of it spent chasing after Kakashi to get his stamp of approval for a myriad of projects and missions, and Kotetsu and Izumo were no help of course. All he wanted to do was get home and relax to make the most of his free time before he had to go back the next morning.

It's all for a purpose though, he reminded himself, the image of your face flashing across his mind and bringing a small smile to his lips. Coming home to his lover and best friend after such a long day was more than enough reward to put up with the heavy responsibilities he’d so begrudgingly taken on, and if he was going to support you the way he wanted to a few troublesome days at the office were a fair price to pay.

The tiny apartment that you two shared came into view in the distance ahead and picked up the pace of his casual gait unconsciously. It wasn’t anything to write home about, just a drab one bedroom situated above a convenience store. The taps leaked and there was a constant draft but it hardly mattered - it was yours, and it felt like home. You’d picked it out together almost a year ago, eager to finally move out of your parent’s houses and start your independent lives together. Since then the dreary white walls had been covered with polaroids and other mementos that painted the picture of your relationship. Some people might call it shabby, but he thought it was cozy. Finally he reached the door with a relieved sigh, the tension of the day left at the threshold as he practically bounded up the stairs.

As soon as he rounded the corner of the entry way he noticed the faint trickle of running water behind the muffled sound of music and your sweet voice singing along. He recognized the song right away - it was one from the playlist he’d made when you first started dating. Filled with music that the two of you listened to together when he finally realized he was falling for you, confessions littered amongst the lyrics and skillfully hidden between other songs that reminded him of you or your time together. He’d tried many times to pick one to be “your song”, but as important as those songs were to him, not a single one on its own managed to communicate the way you made him feel. You had a few ideas yourself but could never settle on one, indecisive as you were. “A whole playlist is better than a song anyway,” you would say whenever he brought it up. “It just means we love each other twenty times as much.” He’d roll his eyes at that, call you troublesome and change the subject, but the echoes of a smile would tug at the corners of his mouth anyway as he secretly agreed.

Originally he was planning to head to the kitchen for an after-work snack, but the sound of your voice changed his course. So instead he kicked off his sandals where he stood and shrugged off his vest as he roamed through the small space to join you in the shower and relax into your arms under the hot water.

He opened the door to the bathroom gingerly, tiptoeing inside quietly in order not to disturb your impromptu concert for the shampoo bottles. It was rare for him to catch you like this. The only time you ever graced his ears with your singing was in the shower, and too often these days his busy schedule kept him from sharing them with you like he preferred. So rather than disrobe and join you right away he crossed his arms as he leaned against the wall and smiled, cherishing the musical lilt of your words for as long as he could. The song changed and one of his favourites came on. It was the one that was playing the night he’d finally worked up the courage to kiss you for the first time. The two of you were laying in the grass side by side, the sun low in the sky as the song played softly over the blown speakers of his phone. It was something about the lyrics, “I am home wherever you are near,” or the way you put the sunset to shame just sitting there not even trying, or maybe just the way he’d been wanting to for weeks but holding back for fear of ruining your friendship - something about that moment felt right. And so he did it, leaned in before he could overthink it or even make a plan and took your face in his hand as he brought his lips to yours. The memory and the warm feeling that always accompanied it felt brand new despite being just over a year old at this point, reminding him just how much he’d changed in a few short years. Becoming right hand to the Hokage, meeting you - as much as he put on a show of resentment when it came to expending effort, it didn’t actually seem so taxing anymore. He found himself out of his comfort zone more often nowadays, doing things no one would expect of the lazy Nara man.

Like his next action for example, he would’ve shadow stitched anyone who tried to tell him just twelve months before he’d be singing along to a love song in the apartment he shared with his lover. Yet here he was, letting go of what little inhibition he held around you and letting the lyrics of his favourite song fall over his lips without any concern for his natural talent.

"But these things lose all their meaning

And allure

If you're not there to

Witness the grandeur

What could shake my love away?"

On the other side of the shower curtain the gravelly sound of his voice stopped your own singing, and a contented smile spread its way across your face as you picked up where you left off, your voices overlapping in an amateur harmony. The verse finished and you peeked around the curtain to look at the dark-haired man in the ponytail. He was still propped against the wall, his almond eyes soft with admiration and that magnetizing smirk that you loved pulling up the corner of his thin lips.

“Well?,” you questioned playfully, “are you going to join me or not?”

His smile widened as he walked over and captured your lips in a kiss. “Yeah, yeah. Patience,” he joked, earning him an eye roll as he pulled his shirt over his head and stepped out his pants. When he was finished undressing and his toned body was exposed to your wandering eyes he stepped into the tub and settled in under the showerhead beside you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and started a slow sway to the music that was still playing.

“I just wanted to listen to you for a bit,” he explained. “I love hearing you sing, I wish you would do it more often.”

He lifted a hand and caressed the side of your face gently. The blood rose to your cheeks at the compliment and you looked away, a small smile playing across your lips. You gave him a playful shove and laughed.

“Shut up… you’re one to talk. I never knew you could sing!” you exclaimed in reference to the happy surprise from just a few moments ago.

He shook his head and chuckled. “I don’t sing. That was a one time thing so you better remember it.”

“That’s not fa-”

He placed his hands on either side of your face and before you could finish your objection his lips were on yours, moving softly over them as the water fell over your faces. You smiled into the kiss as your hands settled on his chest and you softened into his embrace. He wasn’t going to get off that easily, you were filing away this new delicious knowledge for a later date for sure, but for now just the pitter-patter of the water and the sound of your playlist was good enough. A perfect soundtrack for the moment.

#I WANT THIS SO BAD #shikamaru x reader #shikamaru nara #shikamaru nara x reader #shikamaru x y/n #shikamaru x you #shikamaru imagine #shikamaru oneshot #shikamaru fluff #naruto x reader #naruto imagines #naruto fluff

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solomonish · 3 years

Text

Demon Brothers Helping a Struggling MC

CW for: eating disorders (alluded to but not described - discussed in the disclaimer).

so, i want to first state that if anybody believes anything in this post is more harmful than helpful, please let me know and i will delete it. I know that for things that I deal with, fics like this are comforting, but seeing as I’ve never personally had an eating disorder or known someone with one, it’s entirely possible I missed the mark. additionally: here is a tumblr post with a variety of hotlines you can call if you need to. There are eating disorder specific hotlines for the US and UK listed, along with suicide helplines for countries around the world. if you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out and get help - especially from the professionals who know how to give the proper care. you are so worth it.

Lucifer

He keeps an eye on you, even when you don’t realize it, so he’s the first to notice that something is bothering you. Still, with how much time he spends working, it does take him a little longer than he’d like.

As solution-oriented as he is, he prefers to address you the moment he figures it out. His words are firm and straightforward - he’s not the one you want to go to if you need things put gently.

Pride is who he is, and he takes great pride in you - he makes sure to make this known. This knowledge does not make him any less proud of you, and he wants you to be able to see yourself the way he does - certainly then, you might have an easier time with the recovery process.

Even if Lucifer cannot be there directly by your side, he is always with you - in the reminders he sends you, in the rewards he promises when you make progress, in the efforts he makes to assist your transition into the Devildom. He’s the best at creating a stable environment so that you don’t have as much to focus on while he works with you to recover.

Mammon

Mammon is a hard on to hide anything from, if only because he’s around you so much. he also spends a lot of time staring after you wistfully but shhh don’t let him know you know

Still, he’s also a bit oblivious at times, so it might take him a while to notice anything is up. once he does realize that you’re struggling, he panics a bit.

Mammon brings it up himself, but only after a short while of acting antsy around you and staring more pointedly at you at random points throughout the day. he’s clumsy in his approach, but careful to be sensitive: he’s used to being told how often he messes things up, and this is one thing he WANTS to get right.

Mammon has a way of making you feel in control - with the way he allows you to tell him what you need, with the way he isn’t too pushy in helping you through rockier days of your recovery. He wants to be able to be YOUR man, your go-to guy for anything, and he’ll make absolutely sure to get it right.

Leviathan

Levi has a million things to distract himself from the world around him, so bringing him into reality can take a while.

However, he can also tell when somebody else is uncomfortable - whether it’s a facet of his pact or he’s just in tune with his best friend, he isn’t sure.

He’s the type to go to sites like reddit and ask for first-person experience advice. The clinical advice seems stuffy and he isn’t sure if he can be trusted with such formal advice.

His strong suit is distraction, so if you’re okay with it, that how he’ll help you. If anything in your recovery gets too much, he’s there to help shift your focus. He’s also good with helping you stick to some kind of schedule, if that helps you out. After all, he sticks to one religiously to catch all his shows - he’ll rearrange it for you if you need it.

Satan

Satan is perceptive, but he’s not immune to overthinking. The fact that you came to the Devildom, something to be wary of yet somehow becoming something so treasured so quickly, catches him off guard and he still has to reconcile his feelings with how he watches you.

When he does find out and realizes how long he’s gone without noticing, he’s angry with himself. He’s supposed to be the smart one, the perceptive one, and he missed something so important.

He’ll read up on everything he can in order to give you the best support. Satan will also up his attentiveness, making sure to notice any little thing you may need that you don’t want to tell him about.

Aside from maybe having to let him know to back off a bit, Satan will probably be the most likely to just intuitively know what you need. He still communicates everything with you, and he makes for good company, whatever type you may need.

Asmodeus

Asmo’s favorite things to take pictures of are as follows: himself, you, and the most aesthetically pleasing desserts he can find. When you start shying away from two of those, he wonders briefly what made you so camera shy but normally turns the camera on himself and shrugs it off. maybe you feel like you’re having a bad hair day?

Once it does dawns on him that perhaps it’s something more serious, he’ll immediately ask you how he can help. He’s holding you gently as he does, using his softest voice - he almost sounds timid, and maybe he has to be, to deal with the amount of love he’s feeling for you and only you.

You might have to tell him to ease up on the overt compliments about how you look or talking about buying clothes and “form fitting” shapes, and thought he’ll have a learning curve he’ll find lots of different ways to make sure you feel loved! He’ll take a page from your book and start complimenting things like how sweet you are, or how smart he thinks you are - things about the you inside of you that have his heart racing when you say them back.

Asmo knows a lot about the pressure to look a certain way, so even though he lives by feeding into what those people want, he’ll always back out if it gets too much for you. If it’s alright with you, you can always be his favorite photographer <3

Beelzebub

When he’s eating, he doesn’t always focus on what other people are eating. (honestly, it only makes him hungrier). However, when he offers some of his food to you - a move anybody will tell you is the most affectionate thing he can do - and you refuse, he starts to worry.

At first, he wonders if you’re upset with him - and once he finds out the real reason, he doesn’t feel much more satisfied.

Beel’s best effort is trying to structure mealtimes more so instead of gorging himself throughout the day he eats meals. He also never judges or comments on what you do or don’t eat - he just does his best to make sure you have any option you want.

Beel’s strongest suit is comfort - he’ll agree with anything you do want to eat and will get rid of anything you don’t without judgement. He’s also pretty good with knowing the nutritional value of food - if you’re interested, he’d be more than happy to help you plan meals that have what you want and what you need, without making it seem too daunting a task.

Belphegor

Belphegor doesn’t pick up on a lot of things because he’s asleep most of the day. He does, however, spend a lot of his conscious hours with you, and eventually (maybe with some innocent prompting from Beel) he’ll realize that you’re starting to behave differently.

Will straight up ask you about it until he knows you’re being completely honest with him. What he lacks in tact he makes up for in dedication - he wants to help you, and his apathetic front allows him to help without seeming too involved to the point it makes you uncomfortable.

Belphegor can help you feel a sense of normalcy if you ever get overwhelmed or disconnected. He can continue conversations about really anything and help give you a moment to recuperate and breathe.

That’s not to say he isn’t proactive in your recovery. Anything you tell him or anything he brings to the table to brainstorm, he’ll say at the end of the conversation “let me sleep on it” and when he wakes up again he’ll have several game plans ready to see which helps you most in your recovery.

All

if one of them catches wind, it’s only a matter of time until the others notice how something’s changed between you and that brother

all of them will advocate for you to have easier access to the human world for therapy (in their own ways, some more helpful than others), should you choose to go. if not, they’ll all do their best to be a comforting ear when you need one.

sometimes you can find them all in the library, not discussing what you’ve told them but trying to figure out how best to communicate how much they care. (it’s one of the few times you can see them actually working together)

whoever had grocery duty or dinner duty will often check in with you to see if you have any special requests. if you mention wanting a specific snack or something throughout the day, you might end up with seven packages of it within 24 hours. (they’re all trying).

little by little, you’ll also notice how they stop fighting as much at the table. meals become more fun and enjoyable affairs, even if there’s been a disagreement earlier in the day. the brothers are all on their best behavior, and lucifer doesn’t even make any comments wondering why they won’t act that way for diavolo.

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cxffexngel · 4 years

Text

[ @aaetherius ]

Ever since learning of Valentine’s Day from Lyria curiously inquiring about whether or not he planned to make chocolates for someone special, Lucifer had spent nearly every hour researching and testing various molds and flavors in order to make the perfect sweets for someone who didn’t like them to begin with, but it was the thought that mattered - or so the girl in blue had assured him after his many failed batches. But the day to present his work to his special someone is finally here. Inhaling against the telltale scent of coffee and with something a little extra mixed in, he gingerly holds a neatly wrapped box in his hands. One covered in a shimmering, red paper with a beautiful auburn bow. Atop it sits a much smaller box in matching paper. The packaging alone was a direct result of him staying up far too late to ensure it was perfect. From what he's read and overheard, this holiday is dedicated to loved ones, and he wants to make certain it's special for Sandalphon.

So he slips inside the cafe of the ship - the early morning sun spilling in through the windows and scattering light upon the countertops and tables until they were sprinkled with tiny particles that resembled gold dust. It's still well before Sandalphon usually opens it to the public, and much of the crew is still asleep, but above the scent that wafts from the chocolates he's made he can pick up the distinctive smell of black coffee so he knows the other is already inside. Tucking the box behind his back, he uses his wings to completely shelter it beneath beaming, blush feathers as a gentle smile slips onto his rosy lips. "Good morning, my love," comes his soft voice that he hopes doesn't give away his budding excitement as he makes his way over to where the other stands, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek in greeting as large plumes shiver visibly in his joy and bright, blue eyes seem to shine in the sunlight - it's painfully evident he's up to something."Have you heard of Valentine's Day?" He wastes little time leaping into the subject, unable to contain the delight bubbling up in his core. "Lyria informed me it is a holiday in which one makes chocolates for those they love. Though I have never made sweets before, given the purpose of the holiday, I wished to make some for you this year. In all of the skies, Sandalphon, you are the one I have always loved most. So, I pray you will accept this gift. Happy Valentine's Day."

Wings part and he gingerly places the pair of boxes atop the counter, eagerly awaiting for the other to open them. Inside the larger of the packages is a box that contains the fruit of his labor - coffee flavored milk and white chocolates shaped in little wings. A few of them are stuffed with some highly questionable filling Lucifer would claim is cinnamon.They look good, but the taste is suspect if Lyria gagging as she gave him a thumbs up yesterday before dashing off was any indication. Inside the smaller is a delicate but simple white gold promise ring with a set of six wings painstakingly engraved inside the band. The meaning of such a gift had been unknown to him until recently when he had gone shopping for chocolate supplies and Siero had spotted him struggling. With her guidance, he had managed to get everything he needed, but not before she asked after whom he was making chocolates for and, with a knowing laugh, she introduced him to a jeweler who told him about them.

Morning breezes with it's own peaceful divinity when sunlight casts it's serene grace to the lone cafe whose only inhabitant, for the time being, was the crowned supreme primarch. Up at early hours as an usual occurrence - and also a curse considering it wasn't, most of the time, at his own accord but always somehow door busted at unholy hours of early morning by certain scavenger mortal whose questionable tendencies of dragging his body out the confines of soft mattress and a pile of blankets was deemed an extremely necessity. Sandalphon doesn't question it, not anymore and knows best than to struggle against the captain's wishes, knows best to step away given the past day's usual ruckus whenever yet another holiday was just at the horizon to come. And ah - even his own gift for Lucifer, one he had made with so much care and dedication sat atop shelves where, usually, bags of coffee beans would decorate in it's place. Right now they had been moved somewhere else, somehow, in they place what decorates the shelves are a set of truffles coated in various saucers each, various vanilla scented cookies in various shapes varying on tiny set of wings, with slits at the base perfect enough so they can fit atop the rim of a coffee cup, others shaped like hearts, and a cradle shaped one - the specifics of how was he able to find molds for each a mystery to never be found. Something unique and of valuable effort just for that certain someone he knew was going to, also, grace his presence at the built - sublime in all it's way for Sandalphon who awaits the one who he knows, might have in mind the holiday too. It had been a fleeting comment from the girl in blue, and it was only the obvious considering the Grandcypher in general would make each one and every celebration a big deal that the dawning realization could come from any corner of the airship itself, and... Sandalphon can't help the flutter inside his chest, The way his core all but rattles in anticipation considering Lucifer's been absolutely up to something, yet he had never the heart to blow those endearingly awful attempts at not letting such excitement and the glow on azure eyes blow away it. No. Not when, apparently, he had been just as painfully obvious, to some of the crewmembers.

Sole of shoes echo past the door that gives to the cafe's entrance, it doesn't even take a look to know whose presence had graced the always welcoming of worn wood, musk of freshly cleaned and moped floor by the archangel's very own hand. Another of those habits to keep his mind away from the bad things, to not overthink and instead, channel newfound energy into keeping his body moving, doing things, enjoying every second of it as cups, vases, each utensil and surface of tables, chairs and even the petite lamps adorning the room were clean and shining against sepia light that passes by the various windows which graced anyone's gaze with the mold of uneven clouds, winds that blew them away until their shapes all but morph into endless mysteries, and the expanse of the skies could be seen from most of what those frames and their curtains could offer.

Sandalphon was done with a set of two brews, one awaiting for the former supreme primarch as he senses the other approach and pace in a slow but steady pace, scarlet yes looking up as hands keep expectedly pouring the hot drink on the second up and blossoming a warm smile, licked in some exhaustion all too familiar for the archangel whose hours of sleep usually never went past eight to nine hours at best. " Ah, Lucifer! Good morning, I hope I didn't disrupt your needed rest while I had to leave the room too early. " But he knew the answer to his light anxieties. Knew that he'd not mind nonetheless considering yet Sandalphon never stops with those worries, it was an habit, one that never brought harm and somehow, had always made the other, even if he dismissed his claims over and over, smile in a way that made even the farthest flowers come anew with life. So he lets the last of drops plop with a gentle noise to put away the used pot now dried of anything left, pace from behind the counter to meet the other's terribly obvious delight that seeps from any crack his attempt at feigning calm could try to be. Ah, each day Sandalphon was terribly aware just how everything about Lucifer was enough to affect his core, mold in in ways that twisted his and then reshaped it anew without a crack yet still feeling light into the heavens airborne the puffs of clouds, and as if a blade had embraced it with it's edges, about to bleed out and scatter like mush — Yet, as always. Plays along, head tilting to the side once he's infront the other but letting his back rest his weight against the edge of the counter. Wonder plastered all over his calm exterior. " Valentine's day. I have an idea about it given... the crew had asked me for recipes these last days. While I like the idea of trying making my own for the rest as a pastime, if they want to truly envoy their feelings for those said gifts are aimed for, they should have the guts to try themselves... " There's disdain in his voice, comical exasperation that cannot replace the way his core beats in anticipation. Oh those wings are hiding something, isn't it? And whatever feigned calmness dies little by little into utter fondness that becomes unbearable, along the realization that he's overlooking the simplest, but most horrifying detail about it all.

" You... Did. Oh, Lucifer... " Oh he knew exactly the grave he's digging for himself. Knew exactly what await for him in the eternal life he was grated by where nothing could compare to the terrors those heavenly, delicate porcelains could conjure if he dared to try doing anything but coffee when calloused digits glide over the top of the larger box, and his curiosity is rewarded with the sight of handmade sweets. And yet, it's because Sandalphon couldn't, even if his very life depended on it, tell Lucifer about this meager detail that seemed everyone had overlooked, much as Katalina's own kitchen nightmares she had managed to produce whenever anyone had taken their eyes off her and allowed her to aid at the task. This does not defeat the archangel's resolve, but he does swallow dry, and brace himself when the other presents his heartfelt gifts, to receive them and ah - even if they looked edible, adorably crafted and everything, who knows what Lucifer had added on each one's mix. " You really shouldn't have to... Wait - is this a ring, too? " And his attention redirects from those absolutely not sweets to the glimmering ornament when he had gone and haphazardly also open the smaller looking box. " I... don't get it why would you give me this, but the shape... Are those yo- My inherited wings? " And just like that, whatever perfectly disguised grimace in the form of fondness now truly becomes into whatever he feels now. A mix of genuine curiosity, wonder, joy... A lot passes over the smaller archangel before it settles into a melancholic but tender expression as lips draw upward shyly, and lift the ring to let it slip on one of his ring finger. It fits perfectly, resting with it’s shine perfectly - and is enough to let him completely overlook the little bombs of poison that lies close to his free hand, aimlessly reaching for one to take a bit and,

" GhK — " It was terrible! Why in the skies had he put spicy powder on sweet chocolate and coffee!? Oh heavens, everything burned, yet somehow Sandalphon still could meet the strong, awful taste with an unflinching smile, and not breaking a single sweat despise the way every muscle wanted to scrunch into itself and let the void devour his existence. And he has to advert his gaze a bit before forcing the sweet inside and swallow it clean before it'd sap centuries off his eternity as he can still stand, and live like nothing had happened. " I-It's so good...! Haah — Oh Lucifer, you... really planed this, don't y-you...? " And he decides to focus, instead on guessing he's very much poisoned himself, on the ring, shaking off what best he could of the dread of whatever he had put into his mouth, brow arched a tad. " This ring... Lucifer. A promise ring, dare I ask, out of curiosity, why...? " And ah, even when he feels like he's dying all over again, the meaning about this other item had been something that flew over his head, from genuine ignorance considering rings and jewelry weren't things Sandalphon usually studied beyond their use cosmetically. Not beyond what they could mean in traditions the mortals partake, so it just felt right to ask, and delay the inevitable that is his share of gifts that await contemplatively at the coffee shelves, within their grasp but still not yet the time for them.

#Nostalgic Flavor; [ 1 ]#and our fleeting paradise collapses into a new garden; Lucifer || [ aaetherius ]#aaetherius #[ Sandalphon dies; the series #[ this time? death by absolutely not chocolates he's going to keep consuming and stomach each and every one of them because he #phisically cannot tell Lucifer's hand at cooking is terrible ]#[ this is so endearingly painFUL sFJDSÑFDF Oh sandy im so sorry..... wHEEZES

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chaosrealm-mk-imagines · 4 years

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Hi again! Another idea just came to my mind: how Frost, Quan chi, kronika and any other kombatant you like to add would react to their s/o doing silly things to cheer them up. Sorry I request so much for Quan chi. The way you write for him makes me have butterflies in my stomach :D

SHello! I’m glad you request Quan Chi, he’s a favorite of mine since MK4 good old times. It makes me happy that you enjoy how I write about him. Thank you for the ask and hope you like it :)!

Kenshi

- When he swordsman is in a bad mood, he gets quiet and stop making remarks about things around him. Kenshi doesn’t like being disturbed when he feels a little out of himself. The only person that could ever cheer him up without being scoulded is his beloved, who always knows what to say to make him smile. Being blind doesn’t mean he can’t catch his S/O silly expressions or movements, he feels everything. Kenshi is more than thankful for having someone who wants to make him happy, he’s glad that his loved one is not afraid to talk with him. He may start smiling a little and even make jokes too, it’s not hard to take him from his grumpy mood.

Ermac

- When Ermac are having a hard time with their many souls, their mood becames sinister and may have a lot of alterations in a matter of seconds. All those personalities have different ways of being happy, but all them have something in common; being unable to be mad at their beloved. When their S/O is making silly comments and even acting foolish to try to cheer them up they may resist at the beginning but became happy with the time. Ermac could have many different reactions but specially being surprised and grateful to receive so much attention, to them it’s a new thing being treated as a person with feelings and not as a tool. They all come to the consense of allowing his S/O the make them happy, after all they don’t want them to be sad with dealing with their ever changing mood.

Quan Chi

- The necromancer has the constant need to be cheered up by his S/O, Quan Chi’s basic mood is being grumpy and quiet about everything. When his beloved starts playing around and messing with him as a way of receiving a smile, he may start an argument with them. “Why are you trying to make me happy?” he would ask, not being used to such feeling of joy. “I enjoy being miserable.” Is what he says when his S/O tells him to get out of his room a little. “So let’s be miserable in another place.” Is the perfect answer to give him, he needs to go out and forget about his evil plans a little and when he does his personality becomes brighter and he may smile a lot when alone with his loved one.

Shang Tsung

- When the sorcerer is not plotting against people, he’s chilling around and either being lazy or trying to get busy with his study. It’s rare to see Shang Tsung in a bad mood, but when it happens he looks like someone who has been hitten by a truck. His smile disappears, his snarky remarks become a silent nod and he seems souless. At this catatonic state his S/O needs to put a lot of effort to bring him back to life, the thing that would most easily cheer him up is saying bad things about someone he hates, he’s always open to gossip and it’s not ashamed of it. He reacts in a lovely and pleased way, glad that he has someone who is able to make him happy. At first he may seem distant and not interested at their silly actions, but it doesn’t take long before he starts laughing and going back to his sassy self.

Kabal

- Pre-Burn Kabal would be easier to cheer, he’s hardly in a bad mood and is always open to play around with his S/O. When he is frustrated he stops talking so much and keeps things to himself, which is pretty obvious since it’s not common to have him making stupid comments at every two minutes, he doesn’t hide his sadness. Kabal starts smiling like a kid when being cheered up and goes back to his normal self quickly, hugging his beloved in a thight embrace and taking them out for a date as a reward.

- Post-Burn Kabal has a cureless sadness that follows him everywhere, his aura of sorrow is more than evident, his voice is low and he never talks about himself or about his feelings. When his S/O is trying to cheer him up he feels unworthy of that and may avoid them for a while to isolate himself, it’s needed a lot of insistence to make him chuckle or get out of his room. When his beloved is able to make him feel joy at his cremated heart, he will not only thanks them for it but start getting very emotional and talkative about his feelings, opening himself and allowing happiness to enter the core of his cinder soul.

Frost

- The ice queen is always in a bad mood. Frost has a hard time letting go of her past and is always overthinking. She has a lot of self-loathing going on at her mind, most of the time she feels like a basket case and as weak person. In the outside she acts cold and as if she was a proud and arrogant woman with no insecurities, but at the inside she has a broken heart needing to be repaired. When her S/O tries to make her smile with ice puns and calling her to go play at the snow, she will nod at them and pretend that she thinks it’s foolishness. It doesn’t take long before Frost is at the arms of her dearest one, smiling at them and forgeting of the world that tortured her so much. She needs to feel accepted and needs to be loved, when someone is able to make her feel those things she will immediately brighten up and seem like a different person. She feels like it’s the first time in forever that she was treated with such kindness and attention.

Nightwolf

- The Matoka’s protector is too serious for his own good. Grey Cloud seems to be always overthinking and needing to chill out, he is very dedicated to his duties and rarely has a break. When his beloved tries to cheer him up by playing with his familiars or messing with his hair, he may seem annoyed at first and yell at them to grow up, but he can’t help the smile that appears at his face and how his voice gets less serious. He takes a deep breath and joins his S/O at their silly behaviour, it’s a rare moment and it is full of joy at his spirit. If his loved one is insistent enough those small breaks may become more common in the future, specially when he’s not busy.

Kronika

- The keeper of time is always working like a clock, the pointers can’t stop running and she has to maintain the cicle of life at it’s balance. Kronika’s mood is a mechanical clockwork with a lot of missing gears, she’s not familiar with a timeline were her duties are not the same. When her beloved starts to play around and joke with her, she may keep herself stoic and have a hard time realising what they’re trying to do. When they explain that they want to see her happy, she’s surprised. Kronika feels like she has a lot to learn from her S/O and may allow herself to happiness if it means pleasing them.

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markschanel · 4 years

Text

harana - m. lee

now playing: harana by parokya ni edgar

characters: mark lee x reader, cameo appearances by johnny, jaehyun, doyoung & taeil

word count: 1.6k

summary: best friends to lovers au! mark’s been singing and performing for what seems like all his life. Yet when it comes to you- he’s a nervous, overthinking mess just wanting to serenade you and show you his love as you watch from your balcony.

Is serenading still in style?

You are probably wondering

Who is this foolish guy?

Stumbling to sing

With nervous hoarse voice

The darkness of your room and your exhaustion from your day keeps your eyes fluttered shut as you fall deeper into the embrace of your slumber. Your head rests on your feathered pillow as your hair cascades along your silk pillowcase, ready for the reward after a long day.

That is, until you hear the gentle strumming of an acoustic guitar outside of your five-storied apartment, cursing at yourself for leaving the windows wide open. Although you know it’s summer and the piercing heat hitting your skin and sweat forming leaves you no other choice.

You skip off your bed with a rough thud, causing you to groan in slight pain for hitting your toes against the sharp corner of your bed. Scratching your head as you walk towards the edge of your balcony, you don’t care how it’s only eight pm and you’re ready to launch into the next day, but the sight of what you see is what you don’t expect.

Looking down by the gates of your apartment complex, you blink repeatedly as you see a dressed up Mark Lee in newly pressed cream white dress shirt and polished leather shoes, with his acoustic guitar strung across his torso held up by his worn out merlot guitar strap.

“Look - Mark oppa is serenading you!” Your roommates, clad in their sweatpants and pajamas ready for bed much like you, come barging in your room unceremoniously but you’re so stunned you don’t seem to notice. Even their obnoxious giggles and snorts don’t phase you either.

With his nimble fingers, he continues his gentle strumming, making sure to keep up a constant pace and clearly playing each note so that you can hear how fast his heart beats for you.

You’ve hear Mark sing and play guitar for you so many times before, from hanging out with him at the company practice rooms or whenever you’d crash his dorm - but you can tell his nerves as present and how shaky his voice and fingers can get no matter how long he’s been performing professionally at the industry.

But you don’t care- it’s the effort that counts and that’s the Mark Lee you’ve always adored, the one you’ve always cared for, the one you’ve always had a special spot in your heart for. The one your heart always beat for, but you never owned up to admit it, to him nor yourself even.

Carrying roses but wearing

Old faded jeans

Friends are there too

In formal style, singing worse than minus one and sing-along

The worn out jeans that've been put through the wash too many times is so familiar to you that it feels like home. You can’t help but watch in a trance as you grip tightly on the railings of your balcony at how he’s clearly made an effort to dress up extra fancy, with his hair gelled too, but it’s still him at the very core.

At the very essence. He hasn’t changed anything about him, even as he’s trying to impress you. If only he knew that you accepted every facet of him with acceptance, from the flaws and imperfections he’s always working to improve on, to the intricate habits and multilayered facets of him that you couldn’t imagine living without.

You stifle a laugh as you figure out the shadowed figures next to him, failing to properly hide under the oak tree outside your dorm gates. It’s hard to miss the colossal tall Johnny Suh holding up the boombox speakers that were hurriedly plugged into the microphone that Moon Taeil in his bright orange sweater that was holding up to Mark’s face.

Nor can you ignore the cheekily smiling Jaehyun with his dimples flashed out as he holds up the bouquet of freshly picked red roses in his arms, that you’re sure Mark picked out for you by examining each single rose until he found one that he determined was up to your standards and what you deserved.

Doyoung might’ve been the best at hiding in his all black get up, but the obsidian hued poster paper he held up that was scattered with neon stickers and bright glittered letters spelling out “Y/N, WOULD YOU GO ON A DATE WITH ME? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!” in all caps is hard to miss.

The acoustics set up for their miniature performance for you is nothing professional or worth raving about, but its the sincerity behind Mark’s bright, innocent eyes peering onto you and the familiar, comforting warmth behind his sweet yet husky voice that makes it more than enough for you.

You just hope the neighbours won’t mind this impromptu concert along your street when it’s almost time for dinner, and most of the crowds living in the apartment complex you’re in are either new families with young toddlers who should be put to bed now, or grumpy retirees ready for bed.

The sky is full of stars

And the air is cold

In your stares, I am going crazy, dear

And in this song

I hope you will love it

I will give all my heart

In a little serenade for you

You’re so impressed and drawn under that spell that you’ve nearly missed the chill down your back, as you’re in a thinly strapped tank top that was getting too thin for the night wind brushing down your spine.

Crossing your arms as you rub your palms up and down your shoulders, prickly goosebumps on your skin, you’re drawn to his voice and mellow strums to Ed Sheeran’s Tenerife Sea like caught in a siren’s spell, willing to drown in his arms, in his embrace, in his voice, in his love.

Mark can’t believe he’s gotten over any of his past hesitations and got himself and his friends with him to serenade you in what appears to be an ancient tradition long forgotten in the past. He doesn’t know how he managed to bribe Jaehyun to switch in cleaning duties, or pay for Doyoung’s next few coffees to be involved in his little skit.

You’re so special to him he’s taking risks he’s never before, because he believes you deserve the world and he’ll give it to you in any way possible. In his world, you’re a precipice that’s carved and drawn into his maps that the entire thing could be wiped out but you’d still be there, your mark permanently etched onto his heart.

Isn't it like the movies

A romantic film

Aren't you the leading lady and I am your leading man

In a story that ends in a never ending love

The butterflies in your stomach flutter as you realize he’s never forgotten your past rants at how you were never one for extravagant gestures, with expensive jewellery or elegant, lavish dates at overpriced restaurants, but realized deep under that- you still had that need of being cherished, of being exalted and celebrated for who you are and be treated like the divine goddess he saw you as.

He would pluck out all of the stars from the expanse of the vast night sky just to see you smile, just to support you and be there with you through the rough times, through the sweet times, through all the hurts and pains you’ve experienced together before as friends, and now hopefully as something more than that.

If only you noticed how you’d be so engrossed at your repetitive rounds of rewatches of Crazy Rich Asians with him at the beat up couch of his dorm, but he couldn’t help but keep glancing at you if he could give you the same fireworks in your heart like Nick Young gives Rachel Chu.

How he lingers a couple extra seconds whenever you come greet him with a hug, how he always remembers to pick up your favourite bubble tea favours whenever you’re coming to visit, how he reads poems for inspiration for his song lyrics - but you’re the first person that comes to mind, and he always blushes furiously, fiercely, like the love has for you is beyond his comprehension, beyond his understanding- but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

As he finishes his song, the silence that breaks out in the street is so loud, that it’s as if you can hear your heart beating so loud it’s echoing against your eardrums, that time has stopped and it’s only him that you can think about and focus on.

Mark Lee isn’t just the upward climax in romance movies when the two lovers confess, isn’t just kissing passionately in the pouring rain, nor running after each other following a heated confrontation.

Mark Lee sometimes is him remembering how many creams and sugars to put in your coffee order, he’s handwritten love letters hidden in the pockets of your purse, it’s the memories coming back immediately at your polaroid where you kiss his cheek hidden in his wallet, and the handmade baby lion keychain you’ve crocheted for him that he adores so much he won’t go anywhere without it.

“From the bottom of my heart, Y/N you are such a precious person to me that I adore you and care for you so much. I want to be the light in your day and be with you even through the toughest of times and the sweetest of seasons.”

“I want to hold your hand and keep you company through the storms, through the sunsets. I love you so much that words cannot explain it and I hope you can feel it from my songs, from my gestures- even If I know my speech can’t contain it enough-”

“I love you too, Mark Lee!” You interrupt his verbose yet impassioned speech from your balcony, rushing past your doors and outside your apartment to meet him downstairs.

Johnny, Doyoung, Taeil and Jaehyun’s rambunctious cheering and screaming in excitement at the success of Mark’s confession embarrasses Mark more than he could ever imagine, his arm tucked behind his neck as his face and ears turn as red as his favourite watermelons.

…

A/N: I was listening to this song, and was just so inspired by how romantic this ancient Filipino tradition of harana is! I could totally see Mark doing this, and no matter how awkward/forced it could seem, Mark is just so sweet and endearing enough that he’d pull this off so well.

If you’re wondering what it is, Harana is this Filpino tradition in serenading your love interest, hoping to woo them as a potential suitor. The suitor sings by the person they’re courting’s window, until they’re either accepted or rejected.

It’s possible that they’re accompanied by other instruments and other companions as well, for moral or acoustic support lol, and the one courted usually invites the suitor inside afterwards, and the suitor leaves a gift for the person and their family.

Hope you guys enjoy this! Sorry I disappeared for a few days I kinda got busy and my sleep schedule kinda going whack didn’t help but it’s here! I’m so proud of it. <3

#nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct blurbs #nct reactions #mark lee imagines #mark lee drabbles #mark lee timestamps #nct timestamps #mark lee x reader #mark timestamps #mark lee fluff

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ghastily · 4 years

Text

✎ — Gravity (2/??)

➥ Wolfpack x Reader | 3741 | Ao3

⚠️ Panic Attack

Life is hard, sometimes it rewards you with three boyfriends for your efforts.

You’re nearly asleep on Boost’s chest when Sinker finally comes home.

In your haste to get up you accidentally elbow Boost in the stomach and he lets out a loud ‘oof’. A quick kiss on the cheek in apology and you’re up and bolting for the door. You throw your arms around Sinker's neck as soon as he steps inside the door, clinging tightly to him. He laughs, and maneuvers a large duffel bag out of the way, with a free hand Sinker reaches up to cup the back of your head, and leans down to claim your lips with his own. It’s painfully short and not nearly enough, and you greedily chase after him when he ends the kiss.

“Well, hello to you too.” He teases, releasing you and letting his hand fall away from your head and back to his side. You’re a tiny bit embarrassed, trying to settle down, “Sorry. I just.. Kind of missed you?”

Sinker’s gaze is soft and full of affection, “Don't be. I missed you too.”

Boost comes up behind you, arms wrapping tightly around your waist, as he rests his chin on your shoulder. “I missed you too!” Boost puckers up and bats his eyes, making loud kissy noises. Sinker smirks and flicks his brother’s forehead, their antics make you laugh and lean back into Boost’s chest as he whines and rubs his forehead.

“Yeah? I’ll give you a kiss with this fist,” Sinker shakes a clenched hand in his brother’s face, “Come help me with this, Boost. Got us some civvies.” He pats the duffel bag, maneuvering around the two of you and heading for the bedroom.

“I’ll heat up some leftovers while you get comfy, Sinker.” You gently pry yourself out of Boost's grip, much to his displeasure, and plant a kiss on his cheek to pacify him. He pouts and follows after his brother.

You watch the two bicker as they make their way down the hallway and into your bedroom. Something had been feeling off recently, but neither of the guys had mentioned anything lately. Sinker and Boost were as affectionate and jovial as ever but sometimes, when they thought you weren’t looking, there was tension and worry in their faces.

They were soldiers and there was a war going on, they had every reason to be on edge sometimes. Maybe it was nothing and you were just overthinking it, either way you decide you’ll ask them about it later if only just to clear the air. You shake your head and let out a heavy sigh as you head over to the kitchen, loading a plate up with left-overs and warming it up. Nothing worse than cold food.

You make your way over to the sofa and get comfortable once you're done. The guys return a few minutes later as you’re flipping through channels on the holovision. If they were handsome in their gear, they were even more handsome in the loose, dull colored, and insanely comfortable looking civilian clothes. They looked more like people and not just tools of war, and thought only made your heart ache more for them.

The clones deserved so much better.

Boost drops down onto the sofa beside you, stretching his arm over the back and behind you. You smile and snuggle into his side, nestling your head against his shoulder. He smiles and tilts his head, pressing his lips into your hair. He’s so warm and things are peaceful, quiet aside from the show that’s playing on the holovision. Sinker takes the plate you left for him and eats his dinner at the small table in the kitchen. You wait until he’s done eating to bring up what’s been bothering you.

“We want to—”

“So, is everyth—” You begin and quickly stop as your voice overlaps Sinker’s. The two of look at each other in surprise. Boost, the jerk, cackles.

You lightly elbow him in the side.

“You first.” Sinker sets his plate down in the sink and goes to where you and Boost are sitting. Carefully, he tests the strength of the coffee table with his hand before perching on the edge of it so he can face you — and most likely block Booster’s view of the holovision.

“It’s nothing really,” Boost tries to kick his brother in the shin, you place a hand on Boost’s knee in hopes he’ll settle down, “Just lately you guys seem to have something on your mind? Is.. Uh, is everything ok? It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it or whatever, I just—”

Sinker grabs your hand from Boost’s knee, stopping you mid-ramble.

“Yeah, there is.” Boost sighs and you glance over at him, watching him run a hand over his head, “And we’re glad you asked cause we weren't sure how to bring it up with you.”

So there was something wrong.

There’s an intense silence, most likely everyone waiting for the other to speak before Sinker finally gives in and goes first. “This won’t change anything between us, ok?”

He squeezes your hand and your heart sinks. It’s about your relationship then.

“It’s, uh, usually not just the two of us.” Sinker swallows thickly, clearly nervous but here goes nothing, “There’s three of us. Commander Wolffe. We’ve been through a lot together and.. He knows about this, us, but he’s being difficult.”

You squeeze your eyes shut and sigh.

Boost jumps in, quick to reassure you of where you feared this conversation was heading. “We like you and whether he’s in it or not, we wanna keep this going.”

They weren't breaking up with you and that’s.. A little better, you suppose. The potential addition of Wolffe though makes your head spin. Sinker looks at you in concern, rubbing his thumb over the knuckles of your hand.

“So,” He begins softly, “We realized we hadn’t told you about that, and we wanted to know how you felt it. If you'd be okay with Wolffe too.”

You weren’t sure. You had barely managed a relationship with one person before much less two at the same time. Stranger things have happened though, you never expected Sinker and Boost to barge into your life either — so what was one more.

You open your eyes to see their worried faces staring intently at you. A soft breath escapes you, “This is new for me. I’ve never been in a relationship like this before.. but I’m willing to try if Wolffe is. I really like you both too and I don’t want this to end..”

The two troopers look relieved. You can't help but smile a bit, watching Sinker and Boost exchange happy smiles of their own. Apparently they had been expecting a much worse reaction.

You interlace your fingers with Sinker’s, affectionately squeezing his hand. “So, tell me about this Commander Wolffe.”

Their faces light up in delight, and for a moment there may have been a mischievous glint in their eyes. Sinker settles onto the sofa on your other side, eliciting a squeak from you as you’re squished between him and his brother. With everyone’s worry eased, you spend the rest of the evening listening to the guys tell you wild stories of their favorite missions involving Wolffe.

The following days are blissful and easy-going, no garbage launcher mishaps, nor were there any fights in or around the diner. It was strangely peaceful and you were honestly starting to feel a bit on edge, it was like a calm before the storm and you were just waiting for the chaos to rain down.

And rain down it did.

It was still dark when you woke up, rain pelting against the window just above your bed. You sigh and roll into the spot where Sinker usually slept only to find a fading warmth in its place. The guys must have recently left for the barracks, which means you need to get up and leave for work soon too.

Ugh. So much for sleepy, rainy morning cuddles.

You pout and roll out of bed to prepare for the day. The rain began to pick up when you were leaving, turning into an outright tsunami by the time you arrive at work. You were ill-prepared for the rain to go sideways but you weren't about to let a little rain sour your mood. Thank the Stars you had the foresight to keep an extra pair of clothes at the diner, initially for any food related mishaps but now was as good as time as any to bust them out of your locker.

Except it’s been a while since you dropped these clothes off, and the pants fit a little too snugly around your middle and digs into your stomach. You sigh loudly, frustrated, and suck in your gut. Hopefully no one will notice once you put an apron on.

This sucks.

The rest of the day is remarkably uneventful, not many people were going to be out in this bad weather but you can’t shake this odd feeling of being watched. You look through the window into the dining area a few times hoping to catch whoever may be looking, a few times you even thought you saw Sinker or Boost sitting at a booth. It couldn't be though, since your guys never came in through the front and would always greet you.

You finish drying a plate, setting it aside and smile to yourself remembering all the times they’d come over and kiss you. It made your heart flutter with just how much you loved them.

“Oho, thinking of something dirty?” Harmony’s teases, leaning through the window as she typically does when she’s not swamped. Your cheeks burn, and you hastily turn your back to her untying your apron. “I am not!”

Harmony hums, folding her hands under her chin and watches you fuss about the kitchen, preparing to leave now that the diner was closing for the day. “There were two clones here today, one kept ordering caf so I couldn’t kick him out.”

“Oh yeah?” You try and pretend you’re not interested, hanging up your apron by the sink. But you are definitely curious, especially if it involves the clone troopers. They rarely come around CoCo Town except for Sinker and Boost.

“Yup!” Harmony pops the p at the end and smiles, “Well, the cute blonde one left earlier, totally my type by the way, but the other one stayed. He was missing an eye, all broody and grumpy looking. Kept giving FLO these nasty looks—”

Wow, did Harmony always talk this much?

“Wait, you said he’s missing an eye?” You cut in, causing Harmony to pause long enough to nod before picking up where she left off. You frown. Sinker and Boost had told you that the most distinctive feature that set Wolffe apart from the others was his missing eye.

Then the eyes you felt on you all day, could it have been Wolffe? A million questions raced through your mind; was he evaluating you? Maybe Sinker and Boost had finally convinced him to talk to you, or was he determining if you are a security risk? Why didn’t he just ask for you?

Stop.

Worrying like that wasn’t going to help, Sinker and Boost said they would stay with you no matter what. You took a deep breath and chased the whirlwind of thoughts away. Everything was fine. You’re fine.

“I’m heading out now,” You smile at Harmony, and she pouts. It makes you feel a little guilty for not paying attention, you resolve to make it up to her in the future. Maybe with a cake. You grab your clothes from this morning and head for the back door, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Harmony! Good night, Dex!”

“Be careful!” Dex calls out, nearly drowning out Harmony’s little ‘byyyeee’.

It’s a small blessing that the rain has finally let up as you step outside, now just a gentle shower rather than the downpour it had been during the day. The only downside was that it was dark. Darker than it usually is when you go home. You clutch the folded clothes tightly to your chest and take a deep breath, beginning the familiar trek home.

You’re almost half way home when you feel someone staring again. This time though it deeply unsettles you, and the little hairs on the back of your neck stand up. It feels malicious . You start to walk a little faster, scanning the area around you for someone, anyone, who might be following you. That’s when you hear it — footsteps behind you, matching your pace and everything inside of you screams.

Then you're running, heart in your throat and adrenaline spurring you on. Whoever is behind you takes off after you, you can hear the sound of their feet smacking puddles behind you. The world around you blurs, there's not another person out at this hour, not in this rain. No one that would actually care enough to intervene anyway. You aren’t even sure where you are any more but something inside of you says go home — where it’s safe.

You can feel the person behind you get closer, so you make a sharp turn down an alley, shoes sliding on the wet street. A decision you instantly regret as you begin to lose your footing, only to feel someone’s hand grip your upper arm, pulling you back up. A scream is caught in your throat, out of the corner of your eye you see familiar white armor rushing past. You stumble to your feet, unsteady and swaying, finally looking behind you.

And just like that the threat was gone. Wide-eyed, you watch a trooper with blue markings easily disarm a Rodian, twisting his arms back, and slapping a pair of stasis cuffs on him. The two yell at each other but you can’t make out a word of it with how loud your heart is pounding, it feels like it might explode. You don’t even hear the expletives coming out of the Rodian as he’s hauled away.

The trooper that stopped you from falling stays at your side. You recognize the gray markings and instantly you feel a wave of relief flow over you. Those are Wolfpack markings, you lean in closer hoping it was perhaps Sinker or Boost. You stop when his face is illuminated by the lights and you spot the false eye — it’s Wolffe.

“I’ll drop him off for Fox to deal with.” The other trooper announces and Wolffe nods. He looks over at you, a trembling and shaking nervous wreck. No doubt your face flushed red and panic stricken.

“Breathe.” He commands, and you do, loudly, gasping as your knees finally give out from under you. Your lungs burn and your entire body feels like jello, weak, and not doing anything you want it to do. Wolffe catches you easily once again, grasping under your arms and hauling you back onto your feet. You lean heavily against him, oblivious to the way he gently grips your sides to keep you steady.

“When you’re ready, I’ll walk you home.”

You nod, lips quivering with the urge to cry. You really didn’t want to, not in front of Wolffe, but when you press your forehead against the cool plastoid of his armor you can’t hold it back. Today had been rough, and that had been too much.

True to his word, Wolffe walks you home at a slow and steady pace.

You've never been so happy to see the dumpster that guards the front door to your place before. You also never thought you’d look at the dumpster and think home and safety either yet here you were, shakily unlocking the door and letting Wolffe guide you inside. His presence helped calm and soothe your frayed nerves on the way home, but you were still a little unsteady and uncoordinated. Wolffe easily maneuvers you around the coffee table in the pitch blackness of your home, and eases you down on the sofa.

“Let go.”

Huh?

You blink at the gentle command, unsure of what Wolffe means until he gestures at the clothes that you’re clutching so tightly to your chest that your knuckles have gone pale. You mumble a soft ‘oh’ before letting go and Wolffe gently removes the crumbled clothes from your grasp, setting them down on the coffee table. You flex and stretch your fingers, feeling the aching stiffness in each one. Wow, just how hard were you digging your fingers in?

“Do you want me to stay?” Wolffe ask softly, and you nod quickly without hesitation.

And he just stands there in front of you, not making any attempts to move or do anything at all really. It’s too dark but that doesn’t stop you from staring up at him, although it’s so dark you can barely make out the features of his face, he’s unbearably handsome. You find that your heart is beating a little faster now for an entirely different reason.

“Um, wanna sit?” You pat the empty space next to you. Wolffe just stares at you for a moment longer before seemingly giving in and sitting beside you. The side of your thigh presses against his armor clad one, and it makes you feel a little nervous. You feel like a teenager again on a first date trying to see how far you could go with physical contact. It’s like you weren't even terrified and running for your life just moments ago.

“Sinker and Boost talk about you a lot,” Wolffe begins to speak and you look at him curiously, “And I’m sure one of them has informed you of our situation?”

You nod. Sinker explained it a little more in depth to you later that night after he and Boost told you about Wolffe. They were the only survivors of their original squad and through all the hardships of war their bonds grew deeper — it was never romantic but it was something. Something they didn’t have a label for but whatever it was, wasn't that unusual for clones to experience. Sinker mentioned, for example, that Fives and Echo are just as close as they were.

“Did they tell you why I wasn’t getting involved?” You shake your head. It never crossed your mind that Wolffe may have a reason to avoid you aside from just not liking you. You see him take a deep breath before he speaks again, “We had tried this before and it didn’t work out, it just made everything difficult.”

“Wolffe..”

“They would throw a fit and ignore us every time we left for duty, got jealous and would try to make us pick sides, pitting us against one another,” He lets out a frustrated growl and clenches his fists, you wanted so badly to reach out and soothe him, “I’m not going to let that happen again.”

“Wolffe, I didn’t know. This whole relationship, dating more than one person, is new to me, and I’m surely going to make mistakes.” You let out a soft sigh, nothing felt like the right thing to say but you felt that you needed to, “Sinker and Boost make me happy.. I want them to be happy too, and that includes you Wolffe. You don’t have to like me the same way they do, but it would be nice if we could be on good terms—”

There you go, anxiously rambling again but Wolffe’s words stop you in your tracks, “Let’s go on a date.”

HUH?

This is not a conversation to have in the dark, you need to see his face, to hear him say it again so you know you aren’t just imagining it. You clap your hands loudly and the lights come on, temporarily blinding both of you with the sudden flood of bright light. “A date? You want to go on a date?”

Wolffe, once he can see again, turns to stare at you like you've suddenly sprouted a second head, and maybe a few extra limbs. He points at the ceiling, “You have clap activated lights?”

You’re almost offended by the sheer look of disbelief on his face, “That's not important right now!”

He claps his hands and the lights turn off, shrouding you both in darkness again. You can hear him trying to muffle a laugh, so deep and warm that you want to make him as laugh as much as possible in the future — but not right now, you're trying to be mad at him. You grab one of the pillows on the sofa and smack his shoulder, at least you think it’s his shoulder.

“Don’t laugh at me! Asshole!” You squeak.

“I can't..” Wolffe hides a smile behind his hand, taking a deep breath to collect himself. “You need to tell me why you even have these lights.”

You collapse back into the sofa with a pout, “Look. Harmony installed them when I first moved in, and they come in real handy when you’re sick on the sofa and don’t want to get up to turn them off or on! Don't judge me!”

Before anything more can be said the front door opens with a harsh woosh, startling both you and Wolffe. He's on his feet in a heartbeat with a hand on his weapon, prepared to draw. He lets out a relieved sigh when he sees Sinker and Boost stumble through the door, elbowing each other when they briefly get stuck trying to enter at the same time.

Sinker slams his palm into the light switch on the wall, and the lights come back on. The two clones are momentarily caught off guard to see their Commander standing in front of you, but it doesn’t stop them from dodging around him to get to you. They're firing off a million questions a minute, checking you over for any injuries.

“Guys!” You hold up your hands, “I’m not hurt. Just.. Shaken up.”

The pair look like they don’t believe you, their brows are drawn together in worry. Your cheeks burn under the intense scrutiny of their gazes, touched that they cared so much for you. You reach up to wrap an arm over their shoulders, pulling the guys into a hug. Boost leans in easily, burying his face against your neck. Sinker’s cheek presses against yours as he twists an arm around you to hug you in return, tightly clutching the back of your damp shirt.

#star wars: the clone wars #wolfpack x reader #commander wolffe x reader #sinker x reader #boost x reader #reader insert

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 4 years

Text

Arcade au part two

summary: can you do a part 2 to the Arcade Au

‘How did it go?’ Is the question Eddie asks first thing after Richie and Luke step back into the house. He has a nonchalant demeanor, but his hands are rubbed red from washing them over one too many times, a nervous tick Eddie has, and it exposes the true concernment Eddie is under.

‘It was alright’, Luke grants, tone bordering on boredom, uncaring about anything that has to do with the subject of Richie. Richie can’t be a hundred percent sure, but he’s pretty confident it’s simply a mask Luke wears to not reveal too much, just like his father did with Richie all the time in Derry. Eddie blanches for a second and then glances at Richie, who’s not succeeding in hiding his content of how the day went, a smile beaming his face and lets a gust of air escape.

‘Great, that’s great.’

Richie is filled to the brim with everything he wants to tell Eddie, but he required to wait until Luke leaves the room. He’s fallentering with three boxes stacked on the others, packed with donuts that Luke enjoys, he went a little overboard, kicking the door shut with his foot. Comically, in what could be an impression of an old tv sketch or a bug bunny cartoon, Richie juggles his way to keep all three boxes off the ground and in his arms. Some of the donuts are getting squashed, but Richie bought so many it’s not terrible to throw a few out. No rewards are granted for his efforts though, Luke and Eddie engaged in their own conversation without so much as a glance at his antics.

‘Your mom called,’ Eddie exclaims, ‘she asked me to ask you if she should pick you up. So you could eat dinner at her house?’

Luke mulls over it, shaking his head with a shrug. ‘Me and Richie already ate actually.’ Richie dares to look sheepish. ‘But we bought dessert I thought we could eat at the dinner table?’

‘Yeah of course,’ Eddie agrees easily, taking mercy on Richie and helping him with one box. ‘In a minute okay?’

‘I’ll be up in my room’, Luke agrees, deeming a goodbye to Richie and gliding up the stairs. The two lovers see him off, smiles never leaving their faces until he’s out of sight and unleashing the inner turmoil once he is.

‘What the fuck Eds? You’re going to skip straight to sweets? Before healthy, actual dinner? You gave me hell for that last week!’

‘You heard my son Rich, he chose to spend more time with us here and not go back to Myra so for once it’s fine. And that’s not important anyway, I’ll live. Tell me how it went? Inform me off all the details.’

‘I – I don’t know.’ He felt so confident a minute before, but now all the overthinking is chipping away at his brain again, nitpicking every small word and body signal Luke could have possibly send off and taking away his foundation of faith involving the situations. The crossing of his legs whilst in the car could signify Luke hating him. Luke’s reassuring words that Richie’s an okay guy with good intention could be a rouse to placate him and then hit him without Richie seeing it coming. Eddie’s apprehension about the situation rubbed off on him.

‘What do you mean you don’t know?’

‘I don’t think he liked me at first, there was a lot – a lot - of animosity but then I think I managed to steer to ship to safety and he ended up enjoying what we did. At least I hope so.’

‘Well what activity did you choose?’

‘Ah- an Arcade.’

‘Richie’, Eddie stated matter of fact, ‘I will kill you in cold blood and hire Stan to help me hide the body.’

Richie laughed besides himself, he fucking loved this man beyond belief. ‘You don’t like my artistic choices Eddie Spagheddie?’

‘No I fucking don’t. Who takes a fifteen year old to an arcade?’

Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose and exhales deeply, lips pulled downward in a sour expression. Richie’s heart plummets, the boxes tethering dangerously so hat Richie has no other option but to put them down, then stuffing his pockets full with his hands.

‘I was really trying Eds’, he promises, examining the spot in the carpet he caused by accidentally lighting a fire, in his clumsiness stamping against a candle that fell down and burned a piece of the carpet away. He most likely wasn’t designed for this sort of thing, to father a kid when he had childlike tendencies himself. Who was he kidding in pretending he ever stood a chance?

Eddie trains his gaze back on Richie, wrinkles softening around his eyes. ‘Oh Rich’, he says, so empathetic it burns Richie from the inside, too much and to sweet than he deserves, he needs to get rid of it.

‘Welp, that’s my cue to leave trough the backdoor and never come back, I might go see if I can find your mom somewhere show her a good time’, finger gunning his way to the door, Richie is quick to leave, only to get backtracked by Eddie.

‘No, stay.’ Richie does so immediately, and Eddie’s hand finds his upper back circling around and around to alleviate some tension there. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you feel like you weren’t doing a good job. You are, Luke is just cautious of new people. I’m sure you guys had fun.’

‘He hated me in at the start though, I could tell.’

‘Luke’s a broody teenager whose life recently got uprooted, of course he’s not going to be trilled, but if he truly despised you he wouldn’t hold back, he’s my son remember’, Eddie chuckled, coaxing out a smile on Richie too.

Richie rotates back around, scooping Eddie up in his arms and resting his worries in the middle between them, like Eddie is going to strike it all away in a heartbeat. If Eddie could, he would.

‘What if he doesn’t like me Eds? I really, really want him to like me.’

‘The judgment is still out on that one. But for now you’re okay.’ Luke voices, toying with the app on his phone in order to avoid an awkward conversation. ‘Can we eat desert? I’ve been craving it since Richie stopped to go get them.’

‘Wait, really? You think I’m cool?’

‘Don’t flatter yourself too much old man, I still beat you at the game you said you were best at, but I think you’re okay. Decent enough to date my dad.’

Richie smiles remains on his face even as he nods off to sleep later that night.

#reddie #richie x son #eddie x son #My writing #richie tozier imagine #eddie kaspbrak imagine #richie as a dad #eddie a dad

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ghostsships · 4 years

Text

Worth It

Words: 1,149

K.isuke x OC (OC is me, surprise!)

For a tiny bit of context, one of Yen’s main shinigami powers is to teleport. This takes place towards the beginning of “TYBW”

Despite the picturesque barren wastelands that surrounded them, Yen was grateful for the small bit of shelter provided by the small tent Kisuke had set up for his base of operations. The ever present Hueco Mundo moon was beautiful but the sight had long lost its luster from her century stint isolated in the Hollows’ domain. The constant reminder that she was back in such a tumultuous environment would no doubt add to her anxieties about the current situation.

“You know, there are easier ways to make a trench then pacing like that...” she looked over at the source of the teasing remark, knocked out of her thoughts. Kisuke’s back was still turned, focused on his newest impromptu science project, a badge dropped by a recently defeated Quincy. He had barely moved since he started so she had (wrongly) assumed he was too focused on his task to pay her much attention. He had told her to keep watch over Chad and Orihime to make sure they stayed out of trouble, but even she knew that was probably more to distract her from overthinking more than anything. Kisuke was almost always very considerate I’m his own unique way...

“Sorry to disturb you...” if she was just going to get in the way, why was she even here with him... she had barely done anything useful since they got here besides navigating the desert but even that didn’t seem to impact much.

“Don’t worry about it.” Predictably Kisuke idly waved off her comment. “I’m the one who brought you back here. After all that you’ve been through... I’d be more surprised if you weren’t antsy.” He chuckled, obviously feeling a little guilty.

She didn’t blame him of course. Who could ever see any of this coming: the quincies’ return, their incredible power, and their bankai stealing tech...

Well, in retrospect, this was bound to happen eventually... the main cause for panic was that Kisuke seemed to be just as thrown off as everyone else. She hadn’t realized how much comfort came from him always seeming to know what’s next until now. She had been guilty of rolling her eyes as he time and time again seemed to always be 7 steps ahead and while she knew he wouldn’t let this, or anything really, stop him, but she couldn’t help but feel hopeless.

As much as she disliked the Soul Society, she couldn’t help but think back to those days when things were simpler. And perhaps remembering her and Kisuke’s younger days was what brought the idea to her head...

It was crazy, extremely crazy, but if it worked she could fix everything! Better yet, she could stop all of this before it began!

As much as she hated to disturb his work, Yen took a seat on the ground behind him, back to back. She quickly thought of how to brosch the subject before spoke up again “Remember back in school when I was first getting the hang of my powers? It was so difficult but you seemed to figure it out immediately...”

“Well, to be fair, teleportation is a tricky beast. Plus, I’m always happy to help you, I hope you know that...” He chuckled and shifted uncomfortably after the saying last part.

“Weeellll... “ she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Kisuke, as aware as ever, leaned back a little against her as if to silently urge her to speak her mind. “I remember you mentioning how linked space and time travel are so I was wondering...“

Kisuke’s slouch suddenly stiffened, followed by the sound of something dropping. He muttered a curse to himself before quickly recovering.

Sensing the sudden tension, Yen pulled both her knees up to her chest and stared straight ahead. Against her better judgement, she continued “You said with my ability it should be possible. If I could go back even a week or so and warn you maybe... so at least we’re a little more prepared... it wouldn’t hurt?”

There was a pause before Kisuke answered his voice lacking his usual lackadaisical lilt, “I’ve already considered that...”

Yen scoffed, of course he did. This instilled some confidence in her, maybe she could convince him afterall. “If it would help even a little bit I’m more than willing to-“

“No.”

“... huh?...”

“I said, no...” Kisuke signed suddenly sounding tired. “The risk outweighs the reward. It wouldn’t be worth it.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“Oh...” Yen faltered for a second before considering his words “Wait... how??? How would buying us more time be less important than anything else?”

“Time Travel is way more complex than that, Yen.”

“But back then you were adamant about the possibility of it all. You were itching to try it, it just spooked me is why I didn’t go along with it. I’m volunteering now so what changed? Worst case scenario, I’m lost in time somewhere? But at least we tried right? And if anyone could figure it out it’s you.”

“Worst case scenario, you blink out of existence? Worst case scenario, you get slowly torn apart by some tear in spacetime? Worst case scenario, you get thrown so far off and can’t get back. Worst case scenario....” he let out a shaky sigh before continuing “Worst case scenario, you’re gone, again, it’s my fault, again, and there’s nothing I can do to get you back...”

Despite the sternness of his voice, Yen could feel him shaking slightly behind her. “When you came back, I promised myself I wouldn’t put you in a situation where you’d be alone again... ” he took a moment to collect himself before continuing, “I know you think you always have to be useful and strong and selfless but you being here.. means the world to me.”

He looked over his shoulder at her hoping his sincerity was clear. “It was selfish of me to want to put you through that for my own curiosity’s sake back then...” he scoffed to himself “It’s selfish of me now to want to keep you safe and close above all else. But if that means I have to work harder now to ensure that, then it’s worth the effort...” he fully turns to face her now, grabbing her hand and squeezing it “You are worth the effort, ok?”

Even with part of his face shaded by his hat, Yen could see the fiery determination in his eyes. As mysterious and flippant as he can be sometimes, when Kisuke Urahara set his mind to something, he could do anything.

Knowing she was one of the targets of the passion of his flustered (and slightly confused) her but she believed in him more than anyone.

She nodded curtly, trying to mirror his determination but failed immediately when his lopsided grin returned to his face and he drew her hand up to give the back of it a kiss.

#my Conyent (TM)#ship: red strings and broken things

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razorblade180 · 5 years

Text

Sparks Fly (crumbling purity prequel)

[Beacon, JNPR’s dorm] *cough* lewd *cough*

Nora:*listening to music on her bed and reading. Shoes off but in uniform* 🎶Now it’s time to say goodbye! To the things we love, and the innocence of-

Jaune:*walking in disheveled* Hey Nora.....

Nora:Woah, hey there Jaune. You look....barely put together.

Jaune:That sort of somes up my life at the moment. Where’s Pyrrha and Ren?

Nora:Ren is teaching Yang a new style of fighting and Pyrrha went to a play with Blake.

Jaune:.......Really?

Nora:Yeah it surprised me too. Guess the two have something in common.

Jaune:The more you know. *takes off shoes, tie, and blazer before plopping onto his bed* oh bed how I’ve missed you....

Nora:.....Are you okay Jaune? You seem uncharacteristically out of energy. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever really seen you out of energy.

Jaune:I don’t want to talk about.

Nora:*pouting* Jaune let’s not play this game. With a single press of a button I can tell Pyrrha that you’re sad. Then she’ll rework her entire day to make sure you’re okay. Do you really want to steal Pyrrha from Blake when you can just talk to me.

Jaune:*flips onto his back* Wow that’s very tactical, devious, and caring all at once. Maybe you should be leader hehe.

Nora:No one is prepared for my time to rule. You were definitely the safe decision.

Jaune:*smiles* I’ve just been feeling down in the dumps is all. Average grades that aren’t improving, training is a snails pace, flirting is a nightmare, and I’m just sort of feeling like not really being of use that much. I’m spinning my wheels over here.

Nora:Hmmm sounds like you’re in a serious rut. Honestly same, not leaving as many impressions as I thought I’d be. Maybe I should branch out more or something. Who knows, maybe find a date.

Jaune:*sits up* Wait.....aren’t you and Ren-

Nora:I wish!!! Sadly though my advances mean nothing. Can’t really blame him though; must be boring looking at the same girl your whole life.

Jaune:*throws a pillow at her face* Never speak negative about yourself like that. You’re wonderful and we both know Ren would think that.

Nora:*hugging the pillow* Thanks, maybe I’m just trying too hard. Recently I’ve been easing off and just letting the day go by. How’s talking to Weiss?

Jaune:.........

Nora:I’m sorry I asked.

Jaune:Don’t be, we talk a little. I can tell she’s just being nice so I don’t really start conversations anymore.

Nora:Ouch, if you ask me you’re too good for her. Nice, handsome, and sincere. Totally a loss on her part.

Jaune:You think I’m handsome?

Nora:Duh, I’m starting to think it’s a requirement to even attend here. I haven’t seen one ugly person; you’re definitely near the top.

Jaune:I think you might be the only one with that opinion. For the record, you’re definitely really pretty. How are we the ones doing the flirting!?

Nora:*laughs* we’re caught up looking at other people that are equally or better looking.

Jaune:Makes sense; not to mention I don’t scream “perfect boy” really.

Nora:You could get laid if you wanted too.

Jaune:Pfft yeah right. I wouldn’t know the first thing to do.

Nora:Of course not; you’re a virgin. Hell, I wouldn’t know what do either if things did happen with Ren or anybody. I’m just as clean as you are.

Jaune:Guys are sort of into stuff like that though. From what I seen, a clean slate isn’t too attractive around here for girls.

Nora:.....I shouldn’t tell you this but I feel like you should know that if you really needed a girl to please you then Pyrrha would-

Jaune:Can’t do it; she’s into me way too much.

Nora:YOU KNOW!?

Jaune:I’m not dense, I just don’t know how to deal with that level of stress. I do appreciate her but I can’t date her knowing the amount of effort she’d put into the relationship is just beyond something I feel. It’s not right.

Nora:....That’s some deep stuff.

Jaune:Looks like I’m back to square one.

Nora:We need people that are on the same page when it comes sex

Jaune:Intimate but not too intimate....

Nora:Easy to get comfortable with. Like....

Jaune and Nora: A friend......

Nora:......

Jaune:......

Nora:What’s with the silence?

Jaune:What’s with your silence?

Nora:Just...had something cross my mind. It’s a bit crazy though and totally-

Jaune:Risky? What are the odds that we’re thinking similar things?

Nora:I’d say....pretty good. Question is, are we just talking about? *clearing her bed*

Jaune:Nora.....

Nora:I mean can you think of a better situation than this? A better person than someone who knows what it feels like to want to be....enough?

Jaune:No protection....

Nora:I’m safe....

Jaune:This is sudden.....

Nora:Extremely, I’m nervous too

Jaune:What if it’s weird?

Nora:Oh it’s gonna be a bit weird.

Jaune:What if-

Nora:What if this is just what we need? Hunting grimm and dealing with teenagers our age is stressful. If there’s any guy besides Ren that I would feel safe with it’s you. *red* I....would be happy if I could do this with you.

Jaune.....*red* We should set up ground rules just in case.

Nora:*eyes widened* Seriously!? You’re in!?

Jaune:Well....I would be happy if you were the one I’d did this with too.

Nora:C...cool. So, ground rules?

Jaune:Anything I should know not to do? Like is kissing allowed or are our clothes staying on....

Nora:*snorts* If I’m about to let you do me then do you really think I wouldn’t allow kissing?

Jaune:Hey it’s a serious question! That’s very intimate for some people.

Nora:Jaune your mouth will be allowed anywhere unless I say otherwise. *gestures to her body*

Jaune:*blushing* Same to you....

Nora:As far as clothes go, you might want to remove yours and grab a towel from the restroom.....

Jaune:Why?

Nora:*blushing* You know.... because of reasons. If all goes well then something may or may not happen to me that will.....ruin sheets.

Jaune:Oh....*red*Ooooooohhhhhh! Really? That happens to you?

Nora:On occasions....can we please talk about something else?

Jaune:*grabbing a towel* Just be honest with me about anything. Pain, stopping, preference, etc.

Nora:*smiling*

Jaune:What?

Nora:Nothing, you’re just raised really well is all.

Jaune:Yeah well, I’m not trying to make this a mistake we’ll regret. Especially if I end up doing something that wrongs you.

Nora:Jaune, walk over here for me*

*he sits right next to her on the side of the bed*

Jaune:Yes?

Nora:Have you ever kissed anyone?

Jaune:N....no.

Nora:Neither have I....*carfully cups his face and kisses him gently for a minute*......

Jaune:Umm woah, that was really....really... *leaning in*

Nora:Yeah it was....*giving him another kiss*

This was definitely a new experience for them; one that they didn’t know could be so feverish until Nora found herself putting Jaune on his back for leverage. He certainly didn’t mind as she then got on top of him to continue their first ever make out session. Surprisingly, her body fit rather nice pressed up against his.

Jaune:I think I’m starting to see why people make a big deal out of kissing.

Nora:*giggling* Is someone finally loosening up? Don’t be afraid to get a little touchy with me if you want. *kissing his neck*

Jaune:*flustered* (I shouldn’t be surprised she’s taking the lead and yet......)

He tries not to overthink everything and follows her example by showing her neck some affection; earning him some interesting noises as a reward. Instinctively his hands gravitate towards her upper thighs and above. Honestly all of his actions are being played by ear. However, there’s one trick he’s eager to try from his his sparring sessions.

Jaune:Uhhh Nora? Might be a good time for us to get a bit more comfortable.

Nora:Sounds good to me. You look like you’re still caught up in your own head.

Jaune:Nah, I was focusing. *holding up a pair of white panties*

Nora:Wait are those....how did.....I didn’t even feel your hands.....what!?

Jaune:Pyrrha says I’m naturally light handed and it lets my sword glide and flow with my movements. So she taught me how put weight on them if I need to. *his other getting more firm and making Nora yelp. Letting her know exactly where it is*

Nora:*Dark pink* That’s....*huff* a very useful skill to have. T..too useful!

Jaune:As much as I’m enjoying this, my clothes?

She reluctantly gets off of him and let’s him stand up. They both notice his school pants are slightly damp.

Jaune:*red*.......

Nora:*covering her face* Ooops....I’m sorry.

Jaune:It’s fine it’s just...woah. *chuckles* should I have to worry about drowning today?

Nora:*hits him with the towel* Not funny! Not my fault my body likes your hands. Just hurry up and get undressed. *lays towel down*

Jaune:I’m just teasing a bit. I actually don’t mind at all. *undressing*

Nora:You’re lucky I appreciate you. If anyone else said that then-.......

Whatever her comeback was got derailed when she saw him in boxers. Sure in a coed dorm you’re bound to get peeks of each other but an unobstructed view was another thing. Toned but lean; it was nice.

Jaune:I know...I’m not really bulky or anything like that. I’ve been working out more but I’m still-

Nora:Jaune, get that toxic masculinity out of here; you look just fine. *kissing him again* Ren isn’t exactly the buffest around but I think he looks just fine. You’re no different. I’m only annoyed you stopped at the boxers.

Jaune:*smiling* Says the girl who’s still has mostly everything o-

Nora:*Topless* You were saying? I wasn’t gonna let you be the only one putting on a show. *playfully swaying towards him and rests her arms on his shoulders* So....am I doing anything for ya? I’m not exactly Yang or Pyrrha but-

Jaune:You’re beautiful....gorgeous even.

Nora:......*leans on his chest* good grief....

Jaune:Uhhhh Nora?

Nora:*overwhelmed* You’re gonna make me think some things with compliments like that. I was expecting physical satisfaction, not emotional.

One of his arms snakes around her waist as the other continues to make her flinch by continuing its exploration under her skirt. Taking it off would be easy but it sort of made things more interesting. The thrill of feeling rather than simply seeing. Only one thing was obvious, that towel was a good idea.....

Jaune:*devious smile* Not to ruin the mood but it would really suck for your semblance to go off right now.

Nora:*giggling* Oh my gosh....

Jaune:I’m just saying getting electrocuted already hurts when a person is dry. My hand is far from that right now; I’d say pretty soaked.

Nora:Don’t act you’re not proud of it you dork. *kissing his chest*

Jaune:*gets her back on the bed and pins her* Yeah, feeling good about myself right now.

Nora:*slightly sweaty* You know I’m ready for things to get serious right? *huff* I could make you feel really good about yourself in other ways if you’re ready?

Jaune:Not nervous at all are you?

Nora:*shakes her head* Should I be? I trust you, I know I’m safe with you here. You lead me in battle; this bed is just another battlefield right?

Jaune: “No fear, no surrender.” *smile*

Nora:Now you’re catching on. Let’s get the real fun started already fearless leader; it’s not nice keeping a girl all flustered like this. *attempting to slow her breathing*

Jaune:As you wish. *takes off boxers*

Nora:.......*dark red* (Weiss, oh if only you knew how badly you messed up right now) C...can you do me a favor?

Jaune?

Nora:Gently please? Like as much as possible?

Jaune:*kisses her gently* Of course...

*25 minutes later*

Nora embarrassingly sits on the floor in her workout clothes as Jaune removes a now severely damp towel and skirt that might as well be thrown away. He’s just wearing shorts and a tank top.

Nora:In hindsight, that skirt should’ve really came off.

Jaune: I’m really glad you told me to take my clothes off. At least a skirt is faster to replace than an entire uniform.

Nora:Sorry for making you clean up alone. I’d help but my legs don’t feel like moving; they’re not feeling anything right now actually.

Jaune:You gonna be okay? I wasn’t a fan of seeing you tear up.

Nora:Don’t worry about me. I just really want to sleep right now. Is my bed ready?

Jaune:*bridal carriers her* No problem oh Queen of the castle.

Nora:Consider the castle officially stormed; by a knight no less. Thanks for doing something like this with me. It was fun; I felt like I was....

Jaune:Enough? Same here...*kisses her forehead* Now gets some rest before-

Pyrrha:*walks in* I’m ba-.... hello?

Jaune:....

Nora:Sup Pyrrha!

Pyrrha:.....What am I looking at right now?

Nora:Jaune and I did some exercise and I overdid it. I can’t tell you how sore I’m already feeling. My legs are totally worthless right now, so our wonderful leader decided to carry me to bed.

Pyrrha:Must have been really rough if you’re like this.

Nora:I’m honestly surprised that I took everything it had to give. Definitely gonna have to do it again sometime.

Jaune:Wait, really?

Nora:Definitely, just until something happens and it’s no longer really viable or needed anymore. Is that good with you?

Jaune:*smiles*Sounds like a plan.

Pyrrha:Hmmmm well don’t push yourselves too hard. I’m gonna go shower, bye guys *leaves*

Jaune:Laying the gym jokes a little hard don’t you think?

Nora:You were “laying it on me” a little hard just awhile ago. *wink*

Jaune:*blushing* Why are you like this?

Nora:All’s well that ends well.

Pyrrha:Have either of you seen my towel?

Jaune and Nora:........crap, wrong towel.

#rwby #jaune arc #nora valkyrie #pyrrah nikos #nora’s arc #rwby crumbling purity

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twokinkybeans · 5 years

Text

Jar Of Dirt Chapter 2: Tiramisu [Starker Fanfiction NSWF/18+]

Kink/Sexual Warnings: Public Teasing (verbal & physical), Exhibitionism, Praise Kink, Slight Food Play, subspace, hinting at Tony being a Sugar Daddy, hinting at potential Daddy Kink. Other warnings: None

All Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10 ... Masterpost (More to come!)

---

Chapter 2: Tiramisu To say Tony was having an existential crisis would be an understatement. Peter left to do some shopping, and now Tony’s sitting on the couch, trying his best not to stare at the jar on the kitchen counter. Peter filled about a third of the jar with pieces of paper with his own kinks on it, and right before he left, Tony caught him tossing in another one. There’s nothing in the world that Tony wants more than to know what’s going on inside Peter’s head. What kinks he wants to explore. What he wants Tony to do to him. Tony groans as he hangs his head back. Just imagining Peter asking Tony to do whatever’s on those pieces of paper riles him up. His mouth is dry at the thought of Peter on the bed, staring at him with those big, brown, puppy eyes. Puppy.

“Fuck, I’m going to hell for this.” Tony gets up swiftly and grabs the notepad from the coffee table. He scribbles down all the things that his mind comes up with for now. He quickly folds the pieces of paper and tosses them in the jar. The faster they’re out of his mind, the more at ease he will be. Right?

Wrong. Tony had shaken the jar a few times to scramble up both his and Peter’s kinks, but a small voice inside him almost made him regret putting in a few of those. But there’s no going back. He promised Peter he wouldn’t look and finding the ones he’d rather take out for now would mean checking the pieces of paper until he sees them. He doesn’t want to break Peter’s trust. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself. And Peter doesn’t want him to hold back or lie about it either, so he took the jump. Now all he has to do is land on both feet.

It takes about an hour for Peter to return from the shopping. He puts the bags on the kitchen counter and starts unpacking them, putting everything away right where it belongs. Tony heard the boy come in, so he made his way over to the kitchen as well. He leans against the fridge and smiles, watching Peter move around the kitchen ever so swiftly. It fills Tony’s heart with joy that Peter feels - and acts - as if he’s home here. Which, in a way, he is. “Hi, Tony! I got you some Tiramisu from that small shop a block away.” The boy sends him a proud smile. Tony stares at the boy. That shop is definitely off route to the grocery store he usually goes to. Meaning Peter made an effort to do that for him. God. “Thanks, Peter, you’re so good to me.”

Peter blushes, and his gaze falls to the floor for a moment before looking up again, breaking into a shy grin. “I like it when you say stuff like that, Mr. Stark.” “I know you do, boy. So do I. Speaking of which-” Tony nods at the jar. “I put in a couple of my own.” Peter snorts. “The jar’s over halfway full now. Wouldn’t say that’s ‘a couple.’” “You got a point there. So, we better get started then, don’t you think?” Tony takes a step closer, and Peter looks up at him, eyes wide. “You really want to try these with me? I need to be sure.” Peter whispers then. He knows Tony has some… Secret things he’s into. He is so eager to try everything, he just hopes his kinks won’t seem to be too innocent. Tony’s hand creeps to the jar next to them. He snakes his hand inside, not breaking eye contact with Peter. His message clear. “I will do anything to you and for you, Pete.” A shiver runs down the boy’s spine. He can already feel his cock twitching in his pants, and blood rushes to his cheeks when he sees Tony noticed too. The man teases by twisting his hand in the jar over and over, grabbing one piece of paper and then dropping it again. “You’re gonna kill me like this, Mr. Stark,” Peter breathes out. The older man smiles, but Peter notices a hint of hesitation in his eyes.

“How about…” Tony’s voice is low. Deep. The vibrations of it go straight to Peter’s dick. He can’t stop staring into Tony’s eyes, too caught up in how they shift from their warm, brown shade to a deep, lustful black. Peter’s snapped out of it by Tony’s hand appearing between their faces, a piece of paper clutched in his fist. Peter recognizes the blue lines and slightly discolored paper as one of his own. Peter swallows, eyes fixed on what’s in front of him. “...This one.” Tony muses. He cocks his head. “Do you want to read it, or should I?” There’s a tight knot in Peter’s stomach, and he looks down embarrassed. Even his ears are red, and Tony bites his lip. How can one boy be so adorable? “You, please.”

Tony carefully opens the folded piece of paper and sucks in a breath when he reads the words. “Well, aren’t I a lucky man,” he sighs content. Peter immediately looks back up, eyes wide, wondering which kink Tony pulled out of the jar. “Guess we’ll be eating Tiramisu at that restaurant I’ve been meaning to try.” Tony grins wide and turns the piece of paper around so Peter can see what’s written on it.

Public Teasing.

Peter’s mouth hangs open slightly, and he stares up at Tony, only to be met with a pair of dark, hungry eyes. Peter swallows hard. “You like it?” “I do, Peter.” Tony whispers, his voice deep and seductive, the way he always does when he’s about to whisper some dirty things into Peter’s ear. It makes Peter twitch in his pants. Tony walks up to the boy, gripping the back of his shirt tightly and pulling him in for a hot kiss. Peter whimpers and wraps his arms around Tony’s neck, eager to kiss him back. Tony moans and tilts his head forward. Their foreheads touching, lips mere inches away. Peter can feel the hot breath on his skin, and he wants to drop to his knees right then and there. But Tony’s voice helps him stay grounded. For now.

“Go change, Peter.” Tony licks his own lips, though his tongue slightly grazes Peter’s in the process. “Want you to wear something that makes you feel sexy. Can you do that for me?” Peter nods right away. “Yes, Mr. Stark.” He wants to please Tony. Wants to be the reason for the billionaire to shift in his seat when they’re at the restaurant. Wants to know he’s the reason Tony is hard in his expensive, Italian, black suit while ordering the damned Tiramisu, all composed and in charge of the situation. Peter wants to drive the other man crazy. “Off you go then,” Tony whispers, and he lets go of the boy. Peter grins, the arousal fueling his confidence right away. Tony wants the same thing he does.

Peter’s buzzing with excitement. They walk into the fancy place Tony was talking about earlier, and it reminds Peter just how rich the other man actually is. Peter never liked taking money from Tony. Uncle Ben always reminded him that he should work hard for himself. Tony quickly found a loophole, though, simply hanging a new set of clothes in Peter’s wardrobe without saying anything, that kind of stuff. If Peter didn’t hold Tony back, he’d be spoiled rotten by now. A little voice in his head tells him it’s not actually a bad thing and that he wants it, but he needs to stay humble. Wants to remain humble. Even Tony told him, “You’ll get used to it one day.” Maybe he will.

Dinner dates were still a sensitive topic because Tony’s directly spending money on Peter and the fact that the menus don’t even have prices on them says more than enough about what the night’s going to cost. There’s no way he would ever dare to get close to a restaurant like this if he wasn’t with the other man. Today, however, it feels special. Like he’s getting a treat. Or maybe he is the treat. Both work for him.

Peter knew the place wouldn’t be even close to average, so he actually tried his best to dress up nicely while still feeling sexy. He opted for a black short-sleeved button-up, revealing just a tad too much of his chest. The simple pair of jeans were showing off his legs really nicely, and he wore the shiny low boots Tony had bought him last week. He had noticed the way Tony’s eyes lingered on them when Peter had walked back into the room, his lips curling into an approving smile. Thinking about the sex they had the other day, Peter has wanted to test waters even more. So he nudges Tony’s side right before they walk in. “You like my new boots?” “Hmmm, I knew they’d fit you perfectly. They’re just amazing on you.” “You’re such a sugar daddy, you know that, right?” Peter glances sidewards and grins when he sees the quick flash of something cross the other man’s eyes. Gotcha. He’s definitely adding another piece of paper to the jar tonight.

They find their way to their booth, and Peter is happy to sit down, able to ignore the tingling sensation of being stared at. He knows people are still… Confused at their relationship. He can’t blame them. Before Peter gets to overthink things even further, the menu is placed in front of him. He curiously opens it, snorting at the cursive text. “Are you sure we’re ordering food?” He looks up at Tony, who chuckles. The man leans forward and takes the menu out of Peter’s hands, softly grazing his fingertips past Peter’s. “How about I order for us?” He glances up from the menu with a mischievous look on his face. “Want you to taste extra sweet for me tonight.” “Why don’t we go straight to dessert, then?” Peter places his elbows on the table with a cheeky grin as he rests his chin in his hands. “Tsk. Tsk.” Tony shakes his head. “Behave, kid.” Peter pouts and falls back into his seat. “But-” “Only good boys get rewarded.” Peter stiffens in his chair and Tony cocks an eyebrow. “Don’t you want to be a good boy?” Peter’s at a loss for words, staring straight at his mentor. His dick is already straining against the fabric of his pants and he realizes this is going to be a long evening. “Well? Do you?” Peter nods, maybe a little too frantically. “Y-yes, sir- I mean, Mr. Stark- Ah!” He hides his face in his hands, and Tony’s loud, rumbling laughter causes half the restaurant to turn their heads to them. Tony leans forward over the table, knowing everyone’s watching and quietly whispers. “You’re so easy.”

Peter flushes a bright red, and he hates to admit that it only adds to his arousal. But he’s not going to be the only one affected by this. He can see it in Tony’s eyes. The other man is thriving off this so badly. He leans forward and licks his lips. “Are you sure you don’t want me to be bad, just for a bit?” Peter grins, tilting his head to the side. Challenging him. “I’m sure you’d love to punish me.” “Hush now, don’t push your luck, naughty boy.” The older man cocks an eyebrow. “Besides…” The pause that follows is tantalizing. So long. “Even if you decided to be a brat right now, all it takes is one touch, and you’re putty in my hands.” “You think I’m not strong enough?” “Not for me.”

Peter sits back again, not breaking eye contact with Tony and mulling over his words until the waiter comes back to take their order. Tony orders a whole bunch of stuff Peter has never heard of before. But he trusts Tony’s judgment. He knows what Peter likes. Soon after, their table is filled with delicious-looking food. There’s so much to choose from. His senses are trying to analyze everything he sees, smells. It’s an annoying side effect to his spider powers. Every experience dials up his senses to eleven. Tony tells Peter to just try it, not think about it too much. So, Peter takes a deep breath, and he listens.

True to his word, all of the dishes Tony ordered were sweet. The flavors swirl around in Peter’s mouth. He’s rarely tasted anything this delicious. When he takes a bite out of a sweet rice dish, his whole body covers in goosebumps, and he involuntarily moans. “Mr.-” He swallows the bite away before continuing. “-Stark. This is so good!” Tony cocks an eyebrow and scoots towards Peter over the booth’s velvet bench. “How about I have a taste then?” Peter’s about to offer his plate when he realizes what Tony’s doing. His breath hitches in his throat, and he nods, preparing the next bite of rice on his spoon.

However, Tony halts about three-quarters of the way towards Peter. He doesn’t sit right next to him. There’s still a distance between them. To Peter’s surprise, Tony starts leaning in. But he has to go so far that he has to hold himself upright by placing his hand on… Peter gulps when Tony softly squeezes his thigh. “Come on, then, baby, let me have a taste.” Tony squeezes again when he says that last word. Peter immediately turns his upper body to offer Tony the spoon and he gladly takes it in his mouth, closing his eyes and practically kissing the silverware. When his lips let go of the spoon, he looks at Peter through half-lidded eyes. “Sweet,” he states. “But not as sweet as you.” Without warning, Tony’s hand travels up and cups Peter’s hard-on through his jeans, causing Peter to yelp quietly. His breath hitches, and he prays no one is paying attention to them now. “Tony, I-” Tony tightens his grip, and Peter bites down his bottom lip hard, trying to keep himself from moaning out loud. “What’s that again, baby?” “D-don’t stop. Please.”

“Excuse me?” Both men are startled by a soft female voice, interrupting their moment. “Hi there-” Tony clears his throat loudly but doesn’t take his hand off Peter’s dick. Peter looks at Tony wide-eyed but doesn’t complain or try to shift away. “Can we help you with anything?” “W-well, my little brother’s a big fan, Mr. Stark. I was wondering if I could get a picture?” Tony chuckles as he rubs his thumb over Peter’s hard on under the table. The boy forces a smile on his face, trying to act casual. “Of course, Miss.” Tony’s free hand runs through his hair, and Peter silently thanks whatever god is out there when Tony finally scoots closer to sit flush against Peter’s side. “Where do I look?” Tony jokes.

During the entirety of the conversation, Tony kept teasing Peter through his pants. Peter was having an incredibly hard time keeping himself collected, covering up his whimpers with small coughs and sniffs, which resulted in the lady asking if Peter had a cold. When the young woman finally leaves, Tony gives Peter a side-eye and halts his movement. “What’s that?” Tony’s lips curl into a wicked smile as his hand presses on the damp spot in Peter’s jeans. “You wet, baby boy?” “Hnngh, yeah, you are so cruel,” Peter breathes out quietly. “Well, you’re gonna have to keep it in your pants, cause I’m not leaving until we’ve had the Tiramisu.” “But there’s some in the fridge too!” He knows he’s never going to win this, doesn’t even want to. He just doesn’t want to give in so easily. “Good things come to those who wait.” “Alright, I trust you.” He looks up at Tony and slowly sneaks his hand towards the other man’s groin, tracing just above the outline of his cock. “And I know you’ll make it worth everything.” “Now, that’s more like it,” Tony whispers and gives him a quick kiss on his cheek. With his free hand, he calls over the waiter and orders a Tiramisu. “One plate, two spoons, please.” “Of course, Mr. Stark.”

Peter is slowly starting to feel a bit hazy on arousal. His senses are not really focussing on his surroundings anymore, he’s hyper-aware of everything that’s Tony. Just Tony. The slow, gentle stroking on his aching cock, the low chuckles, the breath tickling the side of his neck. He’s never been so off-guard in public. But he feels safe. Safe and cared for. He wants to be good for Tony. A lazy smile spreads on his face, and he lets out a dreamy sigh. All it takes is one touch and you’re putty in my hands. Tony was right. Tony’s always right.

“You’re so beautiful, Peter,” Tony mumbles into his ear. “I’m going to let go of you for now, okay? But I’m still here. Right here next to you.” Peter nods slowly. His eyes flutter, and he turns his face to look at the only one who can make him feel like this. His name gently bounces through his head like a screensaver. Tony. Peter sucks in a short breath when Tony stays true to his word and lets go of him. The Tiramisu is placed in front of them, but Peter only looks at Tony. At his dark eyes. His lips. His jaw. The way the skin around his eyes crinkles when he thanks the waiter with a smile.

“You still okay, Peter?” Tony asks the younger boy when he realizes Peter is so pliant and soft for him. Peter nods at him and Tony takes a deep breath. Peter’s clearly floating in his own body right now. It’s his job to protect him. Guide him through this. “Want me to feed you?” “Please?” Tony smiles at him and pulls the plate a bit closer towards them. He takes the spoon and carefully scrapes some of the cream at the top only, bringing it towards Peter’s lips. Peter closes his eyes as he takes the spoon into his mouth. “Thaaat’s it, honey,” he coos. Peter absentmindedly presses his tongue at the bottom of the spoon. If Tony’s dick was twitching before, it’s throbbing now. He takes the spoon back carefully and grins. “You got some on your cheek, wait, let me help.” He slowly sweeps the excess of Peter’s skin and brings his finger in front of the boy’s mouth. “Peter, baby...” Peter flutters his eyes open and he immediately spots Tony’s finger in front of him, going slightly cross-eyed for a second to focus on Tony’s digit. His eyes are fixated on the white cream. “Suck,” Tony whispers. Peter blinks and opens his mouth. Tony can see how much the boy wants this, he’s nearly drooling. Peter’s lips wrap around Tony’s finger, all the way down to the golden ring resting at the knuckle, and he sucks gently, a soft moan escaping his lips. He’s staring up at Tony with his eyes blown wide and it makes Tony feel all the things he swore he’d keep at bay in his relationship with Peter. But now, watching how much Peter is enjoying himself, he can’t help the filthy thoughts from entering his mind.

“Taste good?” “Mmsweet,” Peter moans around Tony’s finger. “You like that, baby boy? Knowing everyone’s watching you be so good for me.” Peter nods, closing his eyes. He doesn’t seem to be able to stop sucking. “Mhm.” “Such a good boy for me, Peter.” Peter whimpers at the praise and reaches for Tony with his relaxed arms. “M’your good boy,” he whispers. “That’s right. Don’t you ever forget that.” He strokes the boy’s cheek with his other hand. “You want some more?”

Tony feeds him more of the Italian dessert, at one point just discarding the spoon at the table and scooping it all up with his fingers. He relishes in the feeling of Peter’s tongue around his finger, licking him, sucking softly. It reminds him of how Peter sucked him off just a few nights ago. He loves how Peter dives into it all. He’s so brave. Tony took years to explore all that. He never regretted that, but he couldn’t quite believe his luck with Peter. Felt so honored to be the one to help Peter figure out all this.

He takes his finger out of Peter’s mouth again and bites down his lips when he watches the boy stare at him, his lips still apart, waiting for more. But the Tiramisu plate is empty, and all Tony can think about is bouncing his sweet boy on his cock. He can’t hold himself back anymore. He lifts Peter’s chin up and leans in to kiss him. Peter’s lips are so warm, so sticky and sweet. It makes Tony groan with white-hot desire. “M-Mzzer St-ah-” Peter’s words are slurred in their sloppy kiss. Tony’s free hand finds a way through Peter’s hair, and when their lips let go, the boy sighs into him.

“Can’t believe I’m still hungry after all that food,” the man chuckles dryly as he waves for the waiter to fetch him the bill. Peter blinks slowly and stares at the empty plate of Tiramisu before looking back at Tony. Even though the kid can’t form any coherent sentences anymore, Tony knows what he means. The man leans in to Peter’s ear and suckles softly on it. “The Tiramisu was yours, my sweet boy.” His teeth graze over Peter’s earlobe. “But I, Peter… I’m hungry for you.” The boy whimpers under the attention and slightly bucks his hips when Tony’s hand finds its way back to Peter’s leaking cock. “And once we get home…” Tony can’t help himself and sucks a hickey on Peter’s neck, knowing it’ll have healed by the time they get to the Tower. “I’m going to devour you.”

--- More: Chapter 3 Masterpost

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justhereforseverus · 4 years

Text

A Rose by Any Other Name would Smell as Sweet

Chapter 8: Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs

Summary:

Finally, tea time with Severus. During all this, the protagonist realises she's fallen for him.

Notes:

This might be a bit emotional and messy but heeeeey those are the days. Thank you so much for reading, your kudos and comments!<3

I always wonder what Snape's favourite book would be...

Chapter Text

To say I was nervous was a massive understatement. Sure, we got closer during the last weeks due to his involvement in the drama group but apart from that we didn’t spend much time together alone. And to bring him into my quarters felt… like something else. Yet, I know myself only too well. I’ve grown rather attached to that mysterious man. I’ve caught myself staring more than once at him, simply watching how he moved with the ever presence of elegance and utmost concentration. His long black hair assists him in his dramatic turns and movements and I’ve found myself utterly fascinated. I only hoped I didn’t pretend, overinterpreted, overanalysed signs that were not there. Because when it comes to hard evidence, I only have his offer to work with me, what he shared about his life and work, almost hidden smiles and his hand softly squeezing mine on stage. That could mean everything and nothing. In the end, he could simply be polite while feeling repulsed by me.

Nevertheless, we’ve arrived at the Ravenclaw tower together. Thankfully, Ravenclaw staff don’t have to solve the riddles but gets a note with their solutions every morning. Because as much as I’m glad I was sorted here, gosh these riddles are annoying. I’ve never been good at solving them, so I’d always feel utterly unworthy to belong in this house. While entering Severus said: “I always found the riddles rather amusing but I’m not sure if they actually prove any intelligence at all.”

“I hope so. Otherwise, I probably don’t belong here. I find them often quite stupid and exhausting. Every time, I overthink the words too much and feel like an idiot when the solution is plain simple.”

“That is indeed brave to say as a Ravenclaw. Maybe I should send Flitwick a note.” - he said in jest.

“Don’t you dare! Oh, here we are. These are my quarters. Don’t expect anything too grand and it’s certainly not as tidied up as I wanted to.”

I did mean that but I’ve also tidied the whole room for about 3 hours the night before…

“In my experience, this is most often said by people who actually have made an effort to clean everything.” – he said while stepping inside and taking a look around.

“Ok, ok Mr Mindread. I take that still as a compliment to my household skills though”

He chuckled and followed me deeper into the room. My office consists mainly of bookshelves that cover every wall. In the middle was an old and big desk made of oakwood with a set of chairs on the one side and a huge leather chair on the other. The roof was the same as everywhere in the towers: an enchanted roof with a blue and starry night sky. I stepped to the wall on the left and said my password while moving my wand casting a recognition spell. The bookshelf opened up on one side, revealing stairs towards my private living quarters. They consisted of a living room, bedroom, and a small open kitchen. Here, too were book shelves everywhere and pile of books laying around. Attached to the living room was a tiny balcony with a beautiful view over Hogwarts grounds.

I invited him to follow me in my living room and told him to sit on the couch while I was brewing some tea. He sat there looking around but after a while went to the balcony to look outside. While looking he said: “A wonderful view. I always forget how small but comfortable the Ravenclaw quarters are with their balconies. Certainly a difference to the dungeon. The roof should give you much comfort though. Weird how you still long for more stars at night.”

“Well, yes it’s magnificent. However, the real stars are something else and I also just like sitting and walking around in the gardens.”

He returned to the couch and looked closely at a pile of books put on the table in front of him. After asking with a small “May I” he picked up a book from the pile on my table and looked absentmindedly through it. This felt unreal. He on my couch. The most unsocial and mean teacher at Hogwarts being so quiet and polite.

After putting the tea on the table with two glass cups, I sat beside him and said: “And what do you think of the book?”

“Jane Eyre. Interesting. I appreciate the growth of the character but in the beginning, she was quite a nuisance.”

“So, you’d rather be strict and violent as the pastor was?”

“Well, I don’t agree with his morals but I do agree with the strictness. Students are incompetent.”

“They’re just children. They do stupid things. They don’t want to study but have fun. Were you the perfect student back in the days?”

Here he paused for a bit in thought before saying: “Officially, I never broke any rules. Sometimes I had the intention but was disrupted or changed my mind. However, yes, I have to admit, I disagreed with my teachers but more in private. Slughorn was a rather incompetent potion maker. He was more interested in collecting names than grades. He and Minerva also protected students that broke the school rules many more times than I could count. I’ll never forget that from the oh-so-brave Gryffindor house. Especially, as they are always quick to stop me doing the same favouritism they’ve been practicing for more than a decade”

“I guess Slytherin and Gryffindor have a long tradition of hating each other. In general, I have the feeling that Hogwarts is not really interested in an anti-mobbing agenda.”

“That never was the case. You give up after 11 years of teaching here and even more after knowing how it is to be a student. And I admit, this might include my harsh teaching methods.”

“So you feel regret? Why not change?”

“I don't know... No, I don't feel much regret. Someone needs to be the villain here.”

“How can you say that when you know it’s wrong?”

He sighed and looked sternly at the teacup in his hand: “Maybe I’m just an asshole. Not that this is an excuse. I expect perfection because I try to show perfection in everything I do and I may say, I often achieve it. On the other hand, maybe I’ve just given up after years of seeing incompetence rewarded, privilege favoured, voices ignored and change rarely happening. So, I play the role that they’ve made me out to be because it fits. I know I’m responsible for some emotional scarring. But be assured I’d protect every student with my life when it should come to that, independent of their houses or standing. I’m not a good person (y/n), as you know, and I certainly don’t feel the need to justify myself to anyone.”

“I know, you don’t have to. I don’t want you to. I don’t want to reform you. I just want to get to know you better because that’s what I want to do and I feel like we have a common passion. Despite all this you’re here and at least show self-awareness. And I still want to talk to you. What does this say about me?”

“Truly, I don’t know. Maybe you’re mad and I shouldn’t be here.”

“Glad you are. Despite all this.”

He looked away, pretending to see something at the window. But I could see him smile softly. I felt like with this discussion our relationship has grown. We put something aside, we set boundaries and exchanged viewpoints. We returned to the discussion of books.

“Next to Shakespeare what do you usually read?”

“Everything that seems to have a purpose.”

“Oh, so no trashy romance novels and dragon stories?”

“I don’t see the point of “trashy romance novels” but I have to admit that Victorian novels are often full of silly love games and yet I read them.”

“I agree with you though I’m not so romantic at heart.”

“Love can be a powerful motivator. Yet, it bears many risks and clouds judgements. I have to say I prefer their controlled and polite way to make connections. I also try to read authors that show other perspectives. Voices that have previously been ignored. I have to admit, I need some recommendations in that regard though.”

“I can help you with that.”

We sat there for hours taking up books from shelves and talking about them. I’ve never seen him that.. emotional? Like he usually is very controlled. Smiles and laughter are always short, glimpses, you have to watch it closely. Yet, here…he seemed to smile more and more, show emotions clearly. When he hated a book, he hated it with passion, when he loved it you could see him gushing about it. Every book he didn’t know was picked up with curiosity, questions and a genuine interest.

I watched his black eyes reading pages, his soft and gaunt fingers handling the books with the utmost care. At one point did we sit on the floor because I looked for a book on the lowest shelf and he joined me there instead of staying on the couch. I still know how special and untypical that felt for him. The tall man sitting on my blue carpet like a little boy. I smelt his perfume and looked at his expensive and fine clothes. I wondered why he wears his sleeves so long that they hide parts of his hands. Maybe it gives him some kind of comfort? I had to stop myself staring at his face out of fear he’d ask what the hell I was doing. I think that was the night I fell in love. Here, in the sanctuary of my room away from everything he was outside. Where he felt human, kind, compassionate. From here on, I knew I was doomed for a possible heartbreak and I had to be cautious.

We also talked about our relationship to literature and writing. I told him: "I feel like words connect us and the written word connects us even after our death. Just think about how many of these authors are long gone and yet we talk about them. Even if they weren't heard during their lifetimes, we listen and remember them, giving them the attention that they deserve. I hope one day my words will survive and mean something to someone."

"So you don't think you are appreciated and heard now? You're an academic and stood on the stage for many years. I'd argue people listen to you" - replied Severus.

"Yes, I know that sounds horribly selfish from my privileged perspective. People listen but my words are about others or even words by others for that matter. I feel unheard most of the time but that's ok. I also don't think anything will survive after my death. I will simply be forgotten and my words, too. Yet, that's a destiny most of us share. It's the human condition. "

Severus looked in reflection to the starry roof of my room and after some moments said: "Indeed. but you will be remembered for being a wonderful and intelligent person. I can assure you, your words will one day find the way to the people's hearts and minds. My words will mostly be stuck in someone's nightmares, which, I guess, is more than many get." We looked at each other and I saw some sorrow in his deep and black eyes. I felt the same. Yet, I think in that moment we both gave each other some comfort.

Late in the night he made his leave. I accompanied him outside the Raven tower while he was carrying a small pile of selected books.

“Thank you for the tea, the stimulating discussions and the new reading material.. Have a good night.”

“Thank you for coming! It was really.. nice. I hope we can do that again, sometime.”

He smiled softly and returned to the Slytherin dungeons, robes wooshing and his head up high.

#pro snape #severus snape #fanfiction #snape appreciation month #archive of our own #a03 #snape x reader #snape x female reader #snape x oc

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nexstage · 5 years

Text

Starless Lapis: Please, trust us

Trust. Such a beautiful and complicated term. You can trust yourself or others so much it hurts when things go wrong or not risking anything at all. Still, when you make the decision there is no going back, only the tiny hope of a reward or being swallowed by a sea of despair.

Trust was a crossroad Lapis had too many troubles to deal with even with Steven at her side. But still, he was someone she could trust. His kindness, his bravery, his bright smile gave her a bit of peace in such dark moments.

Sometimes, just remembering all the love and friendship he felt for her was too painful. How a selfless kid like him could forgive the misdeeds of a monster like her?

Stealing the ocean, Malachite, almost drowning him, abandoning him and Peridot when the Diamonds were going to invade Earth again.

Heck, she could still see his disappointment and worry when she was this close to crushing the two Lapises on that planet after they dismissed their attempts to change their minds.

So much power and when it was time to use it right...

Lapis just snapped.

It was a miracle Steven still trusted her despite the many proofs that showed him otherwise. That willingness to give a second chance, the benefit of the doubt was a treasure Lapis didn't know how to not take for granted for her head was full of somber what-ifs: what if their efforts were in vain? What if the plan failed? What if their enemies were too strong to defeat?

But Steven made them all, even her, see that trusting for the situation to get better, for their teamwork to be productive and successful wasn't a waste but a brave leap of faith.

Lapis had still so much to learn about trust and hope, but she was learning and couldn't have been where the blue gem was right now if it weren't for Steven's optimistic attitude, his sheer will to make faith flourish.

'Now it's so different though' she thought, her mind a maelstrom of worry and sadness. Everything stopped being the same when Steven left, her attempts at finding him just vain work that put her mood in such a miserable hole.

The most worrying thing, however, was this turn on events. How someone as bold as Steven became so closed-off, ready to snap, pushing others away, not wanting any help at all.

Distrustful, distant, pessimistic.

It sounded like her and Lapis didn't like it at all.

"Something on your mind, Bluedrop?" Bismuth's voice got her out of the meditative state she was in and exhaled a bit to calm her nerves. Her friend noticed the tension on her shoulders so she put a hand on one of them to help her maintain her composure "Hey, sorry for the unexpected scare. Peridot told me you were still in your 'art room'. I thought it was because of grief but it seems you have other plans"

"I don't think this should be called 'other plan'. It's more like a desperate resource" And it was. Knowing that looking for Steven by flying wasn't going to work no matter the number of attempts, Lapis wracked her brain for new ideas from the morning to the start of the night and this in front of her was the only course of action she could get: a piece of paper and a pen. A letter to Steven.

Lapis wanted to laugh in self-deprecation. A letter would do nothing to bring him back, besides, they didn't even know where he was at those moments. Only a miracle could put her letter in Steven's hands but the real challenge was for her written words to get through him which, considering how he acted with Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst, was asking too much for him even if it was for Steven's sake.

"This is stupid" she mumbled bitterly and pushed away both paper and pen. Bismuth stopped her, though, and looked at the blank paper "Why? Don't know how to start?"

"Even if I knew, do you really imagine that Steven will read my letter and return?"

"It may be a possibility"

"It won't be enough" Bismuth looked at her as if she didn't get the point "I mean, not even Garner, Pearl, and Amethyst could stop him and they raised Steven"

"That's also a possibility, but it won't hurt to try"

Lapis conjured in her mind a little, sweet Steven telling her to not give up, it made her feel better if only a tiny bit.

"You sounded so much like him right now. He always saw the good even in people who were unable to show it and trusted that part was going to make a change for the better. And now... Bismuth, I'm scared"

"I know. Everyone is. We don't know where he could be or if he is alright"

"That's not all. I'm scared that Steven is turning into me"

Bismuth opened her mouth then closed it, her eyes showing confusion, "Uh, care to explain?"

"Remember when I told you about...you know, my past? All the bad things and mistakes?"

How could she forget? In some way or another, Bismuth could relate to Lapis: both were trapped for thousands of years because of the action of Pink Diamond, confused because of the many changes around them, they attacked Steven and almost killed him for different reasons, they owed him a lot for the lives they had now. And yeah, maybe Bismuth hasn't run away to the moon or trapped herself and another gem via fusion, but she was impulsive and narrow-minded too, sometimes.

"So, about that," the gray gem started "what concerns you more of Steven becoming you if I'm guessing right?"

Lapis sighed and went to the point, "I didn't trust Steven back then, when he told me and Peridot that he had escaped from the Diamonds, from their trial. Even when he said it was ok for us to leave if that could ensure our safety, I could've done something different than running away. I could've trusted him and Peridot too, try to fight and defend my new home, my new life from another war... But I didn't"

"You returned, though. And I see where you're going. You were scared, it was too overwhelming and you couldn't see that trusting your friends might be another solution. And now you think that is what Steven is doing or heading into"

"Think I may be overthinking?"

"After what the others have told me of his behavior, yeah. Or it might be something else"

"Still, I'm scared he falls into that habit of pushing others away and their help. Being that afraid and hurt to the point of snapping at anyone, even the people he loves. It still takes me time to be completely open to the ones I care about, what if... What if my actions rubbed off on him?"

"Trust issues can come from any circumstances. Maybe he had them much before you two met each other"

"How? He was so brave and ready to face the unknown. He taught me that"

"Steven is also good at hiding how he felt to protect others' feelings. Maybe we never saw that he was scared and overwhelmed because he kept it secret very well. I mean, what Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst said about that Cactus Steven incident was more like the tip of the iceberg, not the reason he left"

"Tip of the iceberg?" Lapis raised an eyebrow, she wasn't that accustomed to human phrases.

"It means a tiny fraction of the problem. And with Steven being gone, that incident, how freaked out and desperate the Crystal Gems are, there is a lot we don't know of Steven's feelings. We're barely finding out some clues, like your idea of him turning into your past self"

Lapis stayed silent, musing about Bismuth's reflections. Her friend may be right, Steven might haven't been totally honest, just showing a bright, confident smile, his readiness to help people while his issues -not only the trust-related ones- kept growing and festering until the cactus incident and his decision to leave.

"Bis... What...do you think would have happened if he had trusted us, or at least the people he knew before he met us? Would things have been different?"

Bismuth grimaced, wishing to have some hypothetical future vision to give an encouraging answer, but what they needed right now wasn't that; it was to find the source of Steven's issues that even the others were unable to take seriously.

"Want me to be frank? I don't know. It might have been a 50/50 situation. Things could've gone right or they could've gone wrong. Or maybe remain the same. But, what we have learned about Earth is that--"

"Nothing stays the same. Just like Steven told me. Ugh! Bismuth, what I need is encouragement, not depressive honesty!"

"Well, that's why there are a lot of trust issues, don't you think? We want everyone to feel safe but we don't trust them to deal with the bad news because we don't like how they react in our minds. Hurt, betrayed, enraged, conflicted. So, we bottle up many things and let them get out of control in the end"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but you now sound like Garnet, all wise-like"

"It comes from experience" Bismuth smiled, flattered, then her eyes scanned the paper in front of Lapis that was still in blank "About the letter, Laz. What if I give you a piece of advice?"

"As long as it's not more depressive honesty, I will appreciate" her grey friend just rolled her eyes before responding "Talk from the heart. It's a human phrase that means talking with complete honesty. Convey all your feelings, thoughts, worries and anything else you think it's necessary, but most importantly, trust yourself while doing it"

'This advice of hers is really so cliché' Lapis even wanted to give that opinion to the blacksmith; however, some of her words made her reconsider, though not in a good way. She knew Steven was caring and compassionate so what would happen if he read this letter? Would he feel guilty? Doubtful? Would he believe everyone was better off without him? What if her words just motivated to push the others away more than ever?

"Steven needs to know that he also needs help" intervened Bismuth, who was observant enough to see in which path Lapis' mind was going "He can't just stay away from the people who love him because he thinks it will be better like that. And if he tries, it will be his decision, not yours"

"What do you mean?"

"You believe your words will worsen this situation, right?" Lapis' eyes got wider at Bismuth's perceptive remarks "Yeah, thought so. Still, you want to help him, to give him some hope, but it's up to Steven to let them get through his head. If that happens, it's great. If not, the consequences will be his only"

"This isn't his fault!!" Lapis snapped, both in defensive and offensive mode. Bismuth placed her hands in front of her to placate her friend's ire while thinking of an argument that can explain the situation better without playing the blame game.

"Look, it's not that Steven wanted this. I'm not saying that if you think otherwise, but he still left. He is in a bad place, though. And we can help him, that's without question. However, If he keeps rejecting our help and distance himself from everyone, how can we know what's wrong with him? We're not mind-readers"

Lapis went aghast at that statement. Her blue skin going ten or more tones lighter as if something was absorbing all of her color, her body rigid as a statue. If Bismuth was right about this...

"Oh, stars! Then it's true! He is turning into me!"

"Hey, hey, calm down. Let's not go over that path"

"But Bismuth, Steven is--"

"Overwhelmed, scared, confused, hurt, angry, frustrated. You name it. But, he's not alone, even if his own mind tries to convince him of the opposite"

"He told me back then, in the moon, that the best might happen even if everything looked bleak. He always followed his instincts and trusted us to do the same... I want to do the same for him, Bis, even if he doesn't want to read the letter or if it never reaches him. I want to. It's the least I can do to repay him"

"That's the spirit! Want me to give you some ideas?"

Lapis smiled at her kindness but shook her head, "Thank you, Bis, but I need to do this privately. Still, once I have finished, I'd love if you and Peridot were here to listen to what I wrote and give me your opinions. A translator could also be a good company because I can only write in Gem and I'm not that familiarized with human's languages"

"Of course, Laz. Take your time. Call to any of us if you need something" Lapis saw her friend got out of the art room, silence again engulfed her but this time it wasn't as tense and desolate as before. Looking at the blank paper in front of her, the blue gem tried to think in the best way to start so her letter wasn't that forced or cheesy or anything, just a part of herself she wanted to give to Steven so he could know that everyone got his back. That he wasn't alone.

'Talk from the heart. I should let my heart guide me'. It was indeed a very sappy conclusion, but it wouldn't hurt to try. So, she started:

'Dear Steven'

(That approach sounded more like Pearl's than hers, so she eliminated it)

'Hey, Steven'

(Yeah, that was better)

I hope this letter finds you, and If it happens the only way to know who wrote it is by recognizing the handwriting. Yeah, it's me, Lapis!

Your Summer Beach Fun Buddy!

You may be wondering (if this letter finds you, of course) if it's a dream that someone like me wrote this for you. Believe me when I'm saying that I was desperate willing to do anything so I could talk to you. Heck, everyone is right now. I'm not sure if you can feel it, Steven, but if that is possible may be what you need to do is take a break for the long, unexpected journey and, you know, try to trust others or the possibility of something good happening. You were so good at that. Being optimistic, full of faith in us despite our shortcomings.

You know, Steven, that's what my letter is about. Trust. I know this story is as old as you can imagine but being trapped in a mirror for thousands of years made of that word a foreign concept, a treasure I thought was impossible to obtain.

How could I trust others when I was so hurt by many people? The ones who mistook me as a rebel, Pearl who never set me free, the Crystal Gems whom I resented for keeping me in that mirror, Peridot who used me for information, Jasper who wanted to fuse with me for her revenge.

And how could I trust myself to be happy and safe again when I felt so lost and confused that made me snap without control? Becoming a monster by trapping and torturing Jasper in an enraged fusion, attacking you and your friends while stealing the ocean, abandoning you and Peridot when I feared another war was coming.

It was you who gave me the answer, Steven. Even if I was too stubborn and selfish to understand or give it a try, you taught me that there were people I could give a second chance like Peridot because they were willing to change and she did marvelously. People who I could relate to despite my past resentment or our differences, like Pearl or Bismuth who felt as trapped as me but for other reasons. You taught me even to see my mistakes, my fears, and my scars not as hideous traits that could hold me back, but motivations to improve and trust myself more.

And if I remember correctly, there was a kind and bold half-human kid who told me once 'What if something good happens?' when I thought there was no way facing the Diamonds would end up with a happy ending.

It was your faith and trust in everyone around you, even the ones who hurt you, that gave us the precious life we have now. You never stopped helping us, never saw us as broken, irremediable beings, you just went to our aid and showed us another way to be better, to live happier.

This, yeah it sounds sappy, I don't know how you will take it if this letter reaches you, but it's true. If it weren't for the leaps of faith you've made with us and for us, Homeworld and Earth would have never been in peace, Little Homeworld would be just a dream instead of a reality, the corrupted gems would still be mindless beasts, and gems like me would still leave in fear and alone.

And being lonely and scared is something I don't want you to go through, in any way.

Remember when you asked me 'Would you rather be alone?' a bit before I escaped from the moon? I thought it was the best way to not be hurt or feel despair but it wasn't, and to make it worse, it hurt you and Peridot because I let my terror blind me to a solution that was in front of me all this time: trusting my friends.

Things would have been different back then if I had trusted you two If I had put my faith in the people who care about me and in myself to defend the new life I had. I'm not sure if you have felt like you hadn't done enough for me after I ran away, but you have. Both you and Peridot have and much more; it was me who didn't make an effort to trust you when the moment came. There was no time for me to feel completely safe, especially after thinking that the Diamonds would come to Earth again; however, that wasn’t an excuse to not see that trusting you and myself could have changed things for the better.

And now, I'm scared that you're doing the same, Steven. I'm terrified of imagining that someone as gentle and brave as you are going to shut everyone out, isolating yourself instead of seeing that trusting the people who love you can lift that weight off your heart. I don't want that for you, but I don't know what kind of issues you were dealing with to decide to leave when you have all of us to help you.

I know it might sound hypocritical of me to give this speech because I wasn't the best at communicating my problems. I used to snap, to get too frustrated because I couldn't heal as fast as I wanted, I isolated myself instead of talking. You showed me other ways to handle all of that. Trust and hope. Believing in the people who love me whenever they wanted to help me, trusting in my virtues instead of letting my flaws decide my future. Everyone wants the same for you.

Steven, if any kind of miracle places this letter in your hands, my only wish is for you to see that you're not alone.

Don't think that just because you are in a bad place, it means that all you've accomplished will disappear because it won't. That just because we want to lend you a hand you're going to become a burden, that's far from the truth. You're not a burden, or a lost cause or anything your mind might conjure, Steven.

You're a savior, a hero, and most importantly, our friend.

So, please, think about it. We'll be waiting for you. Happy to help you as much as you did for us. Trust us. Trust the Crystal Gems and Greg who raised you and loved you so much; the friends you've made despite our differences, like Bismuth, Peridot and me; the people you saved and befriended like the healed gems because even if things change little or nothing at all, at least you'll have tried. And no one, I mean it, no one will judge you if you still feel lost. Never forget what you told me time ago, 'What if something good happens?'. That something might be very close for you to enjoy if you make a leap of faith, if you trust us to help you.

I hope fate can reunite us again, and if not, at least I will be tranquil knowing that you're ok somewhere else.

Please take care of yourself, Steven.

With love and hope,

Your Beach Summer Fun Buddy.

After finishing, Lapis looked at Peridot and Bismuth to ask them what they thought about her letter, only meeting teary gazes, deeply touched at her words.

"That was...beautiful, Lapis" Peridot said and ran to hug her, which the blue gem complied, grateful for her friend's encouragement.

"You've really taken my advice seriously, Laz" Bismuth rubbed at her eyes to clean them from the unshed tears, sniffing a bit.

"As you said, wisdom comes from experience. So I just needed to put it in my letter" her gray friend nodded, happy to have helped. Now, a translator was necessary to make the letter contents understandable, role Peridot willingly took in an instant. Hours of incessant translating later and the message was ready to be sent, but not in the traditional way. Instead of using a mailbox or anything common for humans to send letters to others, Bismuth built a hot air balloon-like lantern where the message could fit without being burnt by the fire. The three gems met in the top of Little Homeworld's tower, ready to sent Lapis' letter. To say she was nervous was a huge understatement, but seeing the hopeful, kind faces of her closest friends gave her faith a bit more strength to keep moving.

"Ready, Laz?"

"Ready"

"At the count of three, guys" Peridot commanded "One"

"Two" Bismuth continued

"Three" Lapis said and the trio turned on the lantern and pushed it up, watching how the air directed its path. To where their light was, to where Steven was.

"Good job, Laz. Great work, everybody. Now, all we need to do is have faith for him to find it" Bismuth placed both her hands on her friends' shoulders. Lapis nodded without looking at the blacksmith's face, though she knew the gem was right. It was time not to fall in despair, but to have faith. To trust.

#steven universe future #Lapis Lazuli #Peridot #Bismuth #Trust issues #Trust #Faith #Letters #Post-Prickly Pair episode #Angst #Hurt/Comfort

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