#Still want him to get his shit rocked again but what a fantastic villain I am so glad they brought him back
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I did @thatcasualgamergirl's DB Art Challenge! It was really fun and very helpful practice for the style, althugh idk what happened to Tarbles face though i'm so sorry little man I was tired lol
Thank you for making the template!!
Here is the blank for interested parties:
#I am deeply invested in one (1) fambly klasdjklasd#dbtag#sketchesart#and 16 !! rip to a true babygirl#I HaaAATed Freeza as a kid but now that I'm grown I'm like 'jesus that's an excellent fucking character 10/10'#Still want him to get his shit rocked again but what a fantastic villain I am so glad they brought him back#don't make me choose between tarble and gure gure would win look at her sjdjklaj little marshmallow
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Since Life is Strange referenced Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Victoria is a reference) and I'm a big fan of BTVS, I think if LiS characters watch it, their favourite characters would be:
(The characters are Max, Chloe, Kate, Warren, Vic, and Nathan.)
Max: I think Max wouldn't really like the vampires and dark theme. Maybe it's too fantastical horror for her cuppa. But I think she'd relate to Willow the most. (A nerd who has no self-esteem then gets a magic power and gets too powerful she's drunk in it? Hell yeah.) And she'd love Tara a lot, the kindest character of all. I think Max would be very interested in Giles too. No, it's not because he's a teacher, she swore. He was very intellectual, it was very attractive! She watched when Chloe watched. It's more fun for her that way.
Chloe: Chloe would be that girl who is like "Yum, sista" when she met Faith and "I can't believe Faith is not gay. SHE'S DEF FRUITY AT LEAST." She would really empathise with Faith too (esp. her parental issues) and she would love her darkness. (Buffy had daddy issues too, but I think Faith resonated in Chloe more.) She'd think Spike was so fricking cool, at least in S2 when he was still a hardcore evil punk rock vampire, but not really after he got chipped. She'd be a little bit disappointed, but she'd still think he was hilarious. I think Chloe would be kinda annoyed at Angel's character, at least in BTVS. I don't think she'd continue watching after S5...? Maybe she didn't really care about the main romance plot lol (Hey, my mom's name is Joyce too! They are very different tho.) When Chloe stopped watching, Max stopped too.
Kate: I appreciate the soul and demons explanation, Warren. But, um, it's too dark for me. I don't really like vampires anyway...
Warren: Warren would LOVE this TV show. He'd be the type of person who SOBBED at Bangel. Bangel is so tragic, Max, I can't believe the universe doesn't want them together, WHY. He'd think Buffy was so hot, Spike was so cool, Giles was rad, etc. He loved almost every cool character. He'd be offended because a guy with his name was a pathetic, gross villain in S6. He'd really enjoy Spuffy too, he'd think it was so spicy ohohohohoho. Delicious, delicious. Then was kinda shocked at SR (iykyk) (but more like, "Oh, shit, they went there!"), cheered at the end of the S6, and then SOBBED again in the end of S7. I think he'd just enjoy whatever it was on the show and he'd think it's one of the best shows of all time. But my favourite is always Doctor Who, Max, always. He then would be off yapping about his analysis of each season and episode, or what he read on Reddit that he claimed as his own, and go blah blah blah bla--
Victoria: Same as Warren, Vic would be the biggest fan of the show. I think Vic would have Buffy as her favourite character. She'd be a Bangel shipper and a diehard Angel and DB fan. She'd be on Tumblr fighting the Spuffy fans. She agreed that Spike was hot, but the ship rivalry was just...yeah. But she'd secretly see herself in Cordelia. Victoria would ask, "I'm not as bitchy as Cordelia, right, Nate? Right??" and Nathan would just laugh his ass off, annoying her. Later in ATS, she came for Angel but had Cangel as a guilty pleasure. Cordelia's character development would kinda trouble her. Not because it wasn't good but because...well, she saw herself in her and could I be like that? Then she watched S4 and was so mad at them fucking up Cordy's arc.
Nathan: Nathan watched this show on and off because Victoria was watching it near him but he didn't like it. He wasn't too interested in a female main character and would be one of the people who was like: "She's hot but there's no way a girl that small can beat up people. (Stupid name, btw.)"
"She's the vampire slayer!" Vic protested.
"So fucking what?!"
He'd remember Riley and ask, "Where is that soldier guy?"
"He fucked off to Brazil a season ago, Nathan! Shut up about Riley already, he sucked!"
"Brazil again." (Iykyk.)
#life is strange#buffy the vampire slayer#my opinion on their fav characters!#their opinions vary and dont really reflect mine LOL#idc if peep dun see dis just wanna get this outta my system#max caulfield#chloe price#kate marsh#warren graham#victoria chase#nathan prescott
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earth bender todo is a no brainer he’s built like a rock lol. curious about your views on the other elements for the rest of the cast?
Airbenders: Satoru, Yuuta
Gojo is everybody’s problem. Just hovers (literally) around people’s conversations, makes wind to mess up your hair, “Why would I walk over there when I could float over there?,” already tall enough to hold something over someone else’s head and the added advantage of air bending would not help. Absolutely the fucking worst. Besides, can’t you see him having an Appa… pray for the greater good of the world.
Poor, poor Yuuta quite literally only has Satoru as his mentor because where are the other airbenders? Who knows, but not here. He’s a little clumsy for an airbender at first, but eventually finds his footing. He’s also too timid at first, not wanting to use bending to attack because what if he accidentally takes the air out or someone’s lungs? What if he uses air bending and pushes someone too far and they get seriously hurt? What if he makes someone choke or suffocate? He would hate himself :(
It takes sometime, but he gets comfortable. Definitely no wise air nomad, but pretty strong with Satoru’s help. He still trips and falls, but at least now he knows how to make one of those little air balls to cushion his fall. Never learns to use a glider for everyone’s safety.
Waterbenders: Inumaki, Megumi, Nanami?
Toge just makes sense here. Give him a backstory similar to Amon in tlok, minus the whole villain arc; his family basically forced him to train and use his water bending/blood bending to their advantage. Makes him hesitant to use to later to seriously harm someone, even if it would save him. He’s not above using his bending for pranks like splashing Maki’s tea in her face, tho.
Don’t know if Megumi ever quite gets the bloodbending thing down, but he does learn to heal pretty proficiently. Still holds a grudge against Satoru for sending him half way across the world to hone his healing abilities, but he admits it made him better in the end. Despite the fact that waterbenders hail from the polar ends of the Earth, Megumi does not like the cold and he will let it be known.
Nanami is a toss up bc I feel like he fits both the water bending and fire bending roles :// he’s just that good :// the waterbender version of him is definitely a healer like Megumi, but the firebending version of him 100% has Azula’s blue flames. Doesn’t consider himself a true “master” regardless, even though anyone who has ever met him would beg to differ.
Earthbenders: Todo, Yuuji?
Todo is a no brainer. Doesn’t have the refined taste for metal bending, but lavabending? Yeah. Complains about getting called to do all the manual labor, but loves knowing that he’s literally strong enough to move the Earth underneath him and that even a volcano doesn’t stand a chance against him. Fantastic, 10/10
The Bolin to Yuuji pipeline is real and it will be studied. Yuuji would accidentally discover he can metalbend and then can never bring himself to do it when he needs to 😭😭 he’s trying his best. Nobara frequently says he’s dumb as a rock and laughs because she thinks it’s clever.
Firebenders: Nobara, Nanami?, Shoko, hear me out when I say Yuuji too but at this point I think avatar Yuuji is the supreme concept
Only other path for Nobara is an earth bender akin to Toph, but something about her being Azula’s less evil reincarnate sits so right with me, but also with Ty Lee’s… whatever that acrobatic shit she had going on was. She’s just that good, she’s just that girl. Refuses to make Yuuji’s drink hot again just because he forgot about it and it got cold—unless he promises to make her a bracelet out of a good gemstone she finds.
Once again, torn for Nanami. You already know the Iroh comparison is there, too. He’s not as flashy of a bender as someone like Nobara, but that doesn’t mean he’s not talented. He knows that he has to be precise in his firebending lest he destroy something or burn someone he cares about. Uses other bending forms to enhance his use and understanding of firebending.
It seems easy to make Shoko a waterbender and healer, but something about her smoking leads me down the firebender with combustion path. Maybe not… from her forehead like the ones we’ve seen in atla and tlok, but somehow it’s still there. Plus this way she doesn’t need to rely on anyone to light her cigarette to begin with, winwin, girlboss on the move.
Back again with Yuuji, but like I said, I think we just need to accept that avatar Yuuji is the only route that will truly suffice. Maybe we just start by saying he was born a firebender, and Nanami starts out at his first and primary tutor. He’s the one who introduces Yuuji to Satoru—and even though Kento threatens Satoru when he finds out he’s had Yuuji working on an air ball instead of any technical air bending for the past month—it all works out in the end. Yuuji’s a playful airbender, but hones in on the spiritual importance in the end, too. Megumi protests for months against being his waterbending master, until he finally breaks down. Todo through a rock at Yuuji the first time they were introduced, but Yuuji managed to throw it back without any knowledge of earthbending at that point and it was smooth sailing from there.
Non-benders: Maki, Mai
If Nobara is our un-evil Azula, then Maki and Mai are her Mai and Ty Lee, respectively. Maki never misses her targets and Mai has too much fun reducing benders to non-bending puddles with just a few punches.
#anonymous#here u go u didn��t ask for this much detail but i have many thoughts when it comes to avatar teehee#nobara my most beloved <333#kinda want megumi to solo and have both bloodbending and healing but i think one is enough for him he’s tired. he’s tired.#i don’t like geto but if i had to put him somewhere he’s either a non bender who keeps trying to kidnap other benders#or he’s firelord ozai’s less successful cousin in law#jjk x reader
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princess tutu re-watch, episode 11
Drosselmeyer (to Edel): Remember, I am the puppetmaster here! Only I am allowed to mess with peoples' feelings in this show! Back you go to the normal world and none of your 'improvisations' now!"
okay, they spent all the budget this episode on Fakir's angry solo dance scene and it was money well-spent. He looks FANTASTIC in black with the shoujo sparkles and silhouetted against the windows, A++ work everyone.
oh, he's pissed that Ahiru is Tutu, apparently she brings out the artistry in him, hahahaha
also, I'm still so delighted that Neko-sensei teaches all his students to dance en pointe regardless of gender or species, Fakir ROCKS here with those fouettés and pirouettes!!
I keep looking for Lamp-chan in Ahiru's room and not seeing it, but I THINK it's on the shelf by her bed (which is a good place to put it).
Lille poking Ahiru's cheeks to give her a duck-like bill is so funny
Mytho: "How do you do, fellow kids! What are these… 'gifts'… you speak of?"
Neko-sensei: "Fakir, would you like to take my course on love along with Mytho?"
Fakir (through gritted teeth): "I RESPECTFULLY DECLINE."
Ahiru: "Okay, so Fakir knows I'm Tutu! What if we combined our powers and triumphed thanks to the power of friendship!"
Fakir: "I WORK ALONE, DAMN IT!"
(Ahiru doesn't believe it for a moment because she knows Fakir is a huge softy inside)
Mytho gets the "Love" stone from Edel at Rue's suggestion, because crows love shiny things
Rue has gone from "Evil" to "Not evil, I just want to be loved" to "Evil again" (but really, she just wants to be loved and she believes she is unworthy of Mytho's love because she is a crow).
Rue borrows the stone to perform witchy crow magic involving a dead crow on it so whomever Mytho gives it to is cursed. Drosselmeyer approves.
Mytho: "Fakir, please promise me you won't stab Tutu if you see her again."
Fakir: lol nope.
Mytho makes a sad face but Fakir has years of practice and refuses to budge.
Mytho: I want to find Tutu, but I don't know how, so I'll, uh, just wander around and put myself in danger until she shows up! That usually works!
Ahiru: oh shit, he wandered off, better check the river just in case he fell in again
the umbrella she gives him has a duck on it because of course it does
It turns out the "Love" gem is Mytho's heart shard!
"Love": oh thank god, it was so dark and scary in there with all the crows!
Tutu: crows? wait, what--
TOO LATE! CROWS EVERYWHERE!! KRAHE TRIUMPHANT!
Drosselmeyer rambles about the dangers of stepping out of one's narrative role and how he's set everything up so that none of them can easily do that without sacrificing something else they care about until Kraehe decides to roll with being the villain.
Fakir gets some good lines before he is carried off by a murder of crows, lol.
Kraehe rips the "Love" shard out of Mytho in a gorgeously animated sequence and they vanish while Tutu watches helplessly.
Drosselmeyer: hahaha, you're so fucked now!
me: SHUT UP, DROSSELMEYER.
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Debriefing
Title: Debriefing Rating: Explicit Pairing: Bruce Wayne/reader Word Count: 2986 Warnings: Smut, batcave sex, table sex, oral, vibrators, daddy kink, feels confessions. Summary: Bruce and the reader have an argument after patrol Author’s Note: As usual, this is about no particular universe’s Batman. You get to see whichever one you want.
The car pulled to a stop inside Bruce Wayne’s garage, and you exhaled a sigh of relief as you turned the car off. You’d almost stopped to pick him up, but Alfred over the coms had assured you that he would drive the Batmobile home. Probably a better idea than you picking him up, anyway. It would have been hard to explain. With all the punishment you’d put Bruce’s car through, you were a bit surprised it had managed to limp all the way home.
“Alfred,” you said aloud, your voice picked up by the com unit in your ear. “Is-”
“Master Bruce is already here.” Alfred answered, not needing to wait for the rest of your question to know what you were asking. “He’s currently in the cave, if you wish to speak to him.”
“Thanks, Alfred.” You signed and shut your eyes for a minute.
Bruce had almost died tonight.
You could tell something was wrong with the supervillain he just charged into, and tried to warn Bruce to take it slow and careful. He hadn’t listened, and you’d had to rescue him. By stealing one of Bruce Wayne’s cars and trying to run the villain over.
You finally pushed the car door open, heaving yourself out of the car and walked into the house. It felt like it took an hour for you to reach the batcave, so massive was the house.
“So, that went well.” You spat sarcastically as you descended into the Batcave. You could see the top of Bruce’s head around the desk and monitors, and walked slowly towards him.
“It could have been worse.” He replied, not turning towards you. “Thank you for that.”
“You’re welcome.” You told him calmly. “It wouldn’t have been necessary if you’d just listened to me from the start.” Your voice was clipped, not afraid to make your annoyance audible. You finally walked around the computer, and his form came fully into view.
And damn was that a mistake. He was shirtless.
You’d been working for Bruce for months, and had been suppressing your feelings for him the whole time. He was miles out of your league. You could never quite tell if he’d figured it out or not. Bruce wasn’t the easiest person to lie to, but the way he behaved… it was either totally innocent, or he was enjoying toying with you. It made you frightened and excited all at once.
Bruce still wore the pants and boots of the Batsuit, but he’d discarded everything above the waist. Your mouth went dry, and you suddenly forgot how to form words. You swallowed, an effort of will keeping your jaw from dropping to the floor. It was quite difficult to remember why you’d been angry. There was a large bandage on his shoulder from where he’d been grazed by a bullet. The rest of his torso was a mass of bruises. It was hardly a secret how much Bruce worked out, and damn did it show with the view of him without a shirt. You couldn’t take your eyes off his chest.
“I’ve faced skilled opponents before.” Bruce said calmly, turning to face you. Somehow, you managed to force your eyes off his chest and back to his face. Was that a smirk? Shit, his face wasn’t any better. You took in a breath, looking away from him and down at the desk, searching your brain for the arguments that had been so clear before he’d taken his fucking shirt off.
“We… uh, we needed a plan.” You stuttered out, sounding anything but convincing.
“I’ve been doing this for years,” Bruce replied, sounding amused. He stepped closer to you, and you felt your breath catch. You didn’t think you could handle this. “I know what I’m doing, and I felt I could handle the situation.”
“You wanted me to be a part of this team because you wanted my advice.” A full sentence! Fantastic! And all that went out the window when your eyes flitted over his still bare chest again. Fuck. “If - if, uh, you don’t listen to me, then… then I��m not - not sure what I’m, uhm, doing here.” Look away from his face. Look away from his chest. Fuck, just look away from him in general. You quickly dropped your eyes back to the desk. Safer that way. Bruce moved again, stepping into your space until you could feel the warmth from his body.
“I won’t always agree with you, but don’t underestimate your contributions.” Bruce replied, smooth and comforting. He rested a hand on your arm, and you nearly moaned aloud at the touch of his skin on yours. He rubbed a thumb gently against the skin on your inner arm, and you swallowed again. His other hand gently grabbed your chin, lifting your head to force you to look at him. You had to fight the urge to let out a squeak, feeling trapped under his gaze. His eyes… the best you could describe it, was predatory amusement.
“I, uh…” you swallowed, your throat suddenly dry. A smirk curled his lips as he stared at you. “You’re doing this on purpose.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Bruce said, his voice filled with amusement as his smirk grew smug. He stepped forward again, forcing you to stumble backwards until your ass hit the desk. His steps were slow and measured and confident, where you were an undignified scramble, nearly falling before you hit the desk. You could feel his breath on your lips, making your own breath catch.
Finally, after months of teasing, your patience snapped.
You leaned into him, crossing the last of the distance between your lips and his. Bruce growled, and this time you couldn’t stop the squeak that emerged from you. A small smile curled his lips briefly. The hand that had been on your chin moved to cup the back of your skull and hold you in place as his tongue pushed into your mouth, ravaging your lips. You moaned, leaning into him, overwhelmed with sensation. His stubble was starting to grow back, making the kiss pleasantly rough. His hand on your head, his other arm on your back, the warmth of his bare chest pressing into you. He kissed you aggressively, leaning you back against the table. You lifted your arms to wrap around his shoulders, clinging to him as he dominated the kiss, trapping you against his form. A thigh pushed between your legs, pushing one leg out of the way. His pants were armored, so you couldn’t tell if he was erect under them, but you’d be willing to bet he was. You tried to mumble around his lips and tongue, but everything came out muffled, and all you could do was surrender and moan.
When Bruce finally released your lips, you dropped your head back and gasped for air. A moment later, the breath left your lungs when you felt Bruce’s lips on your neck. The stubble that had been pleasant during the kiss was so much more stimulating on your neck, and your knees simply gave out. The hand on your head dropped to your back, and his grip tightened around you, holding you aloft. He lifted you a little, setting you down on the desk. The elevated height brought your face about level with his, and he finally stood up straight. Your mouth went dry again, trying to take everything in at once, for about a second before he was on you again.
Your legs went around his waist, his chest pressed against you again. One arm went around your back, and the other lifted to tilt your head to the side, giving him access to your neck. You whined and squirmed in his arms as his lips stole your ability to think. He leaned into you, his hips making little thrusts into you. Your head rolled back on your shoulders, and your fingers scratched at his bare shoulderblades. You whined his name, panting and trying to find the breath to plead. He gave a groaning growl and leaned into you. You whined more and ground into him, wishing he’d just take off his pants already so you could feel him.
One of the arms on your back went lowered, until it was practically around your ass. He pulled your hips into his, holding you tightly to him and ground back into you. You cried his name as his teeth bit into your neck, biting and sucking just where you were most sensitive. He rubbed against your clit until your eyes rolled back in your head.
“Bruce,” you breathed, your hand unconsciously lifting to bury in his hair. Another growl came from your neck. His hips rhythmically rocked into yours, making you whine and moan and plead. You tried to squirm away, but his grip was a vise, and you weren’t escaping any time soon.
Bruce ripped away from you, stepping back and withdrawing his heat from you as suddenly as he’d attacked you, leaving you dazed, breathless, and confused. He held your gaze for a long moment, before dropping his eyes down to his pants as he undid the latches. You almost leaned forward to help him, but resisted the urge; his pants were armored, and bound to be complicated. However they were designed, he’d be much more efficient at removing them than you would.
A moment later, it occurred to you that his hands were busy. That they would be for a few moments, at least. You pulled your shirt off quickly, tossing it heedlessly to the side. Your bra was discarded an instant later. You leaned back a little, dropping your head back on your shoulders, sliding your eyelids partly shut and cupping your breasts with your hands. You tweaked your nipples, giving a soft sigh at the stimulation. You kept your eyes on him, and so you saw the exact moment he heard you sigh, and saw his eyes snapped up to you. They narrowed when he saw what you were doing. A small growl escaped his lips, and you bit your own lip to suppress the noise that tried to escape you. His movements on his pants were swift and clipped, and in no time he had removed the rest of his clothes. He took a swift step forwards, and you dropped your hands to the desk and smirked at him.
“You realize you’re going to pay for that, kitten?” Bruce asked, giving a crooked, confident smirk.
“Worth it,” you giggled. Bruce held your eyes for a moment, then produced a zip tie from a drawer. He didn’t give you time to speak, but pulled your hands behind your back, and secured them in place. He pulled the zip tie tight, but looser than you expected. You wiggled a little, testing it; it was tight enough to keep your hands there, but loose enough that you’d have no trouble pulling them free if you really wanted to. Bruce waited for you to finish testing it, until you looked back up at him. He kissed you again, gentle this time, cupping the back of your skull again with one hand and planting the other behind you. You squirmed a little, struggling fruitlessly against the bonds and his hands, but got nowhere. Bruce leaned forward, slowly pushing you back. You leaned into his arms, letting him support you as he carefully pushed you down onto the desk, lying somewhat awkwardly on top of your bound hands. He released your lips with a parting nip, letting you gasp for breath as you tried to guess his next move.
You half expected him to attack your breasts, but instead you felt his hands at your pants. He undid them, pulled them off, leaving you lying naked on the table. You could suppress the small ‘meep’ that emerged when you saw the way he ogled your naked pussy ravenously. Bruce turned his torso around, looking around the small space you were both in, until he spotted the chair. He grabbed it, pulling it over next to the space of counter you were lying on, and sat.
Oh.
He intended to take his time with you.
You swallowed reflexively, nervous and excited all at once. It must have shown on your face, as Bruce gave you a smirk with eyes full of mischief. From the angle you had, you couldn’t really see much more than his face. But you suddenly felt his fingers tease your opening ever so lightly. You gave a loud moan and dropped your head down on the table with a thunk. When you felt a vibrator teasing around your clit, you gave a yelp and your legs jerked. Where the ever living fuck had he gotten that from?!
Bruce didn’t show any mercy, continuing his teasing of your clit as he leaned in. You felt his breath on your pussy lips, and your eyes slid closed as your breath came in short, quick pants. His tongue pushed into you, and you felt as much as heard his pleased groan at your taste. A small whine left you at the noise, the vibrations from him and the vibrator teasing you more than stimulating you, leaving you desperate for more.
“Bruce,” you gasped. “Please.”
The vibrator grazed your clit then, and your legs shot straight up. Bruce leaned into you, burying his face in you and devouring you ravenously. He rested his free hand on your hip, holding you steady as he tortured you with tongue and vibrator until you screamed.
Two or three orgasms later, you’d lost count, Bruce sat back and removed his stimulation, finally letting you come down. Your legs (you hadn’t quite registered it, but apparently they’d been sticking out totally straight while he’d been working on you) fell back down to the counter. You panted hard, trying to catch your breath after the marathon he’d put you through.
Bruce stood, leaning over you and resting his arms on the table to support his weight. His expression was tender, gentle, in a contrast to the pleasurable torture he’d just put you through. One hand stroked a lock of hair out of your face.
“Can you do one more, kitten?” Bruce asked you softly. You didn’t even have to think, you just nodded.
Bruce dropped a short, soft kiss on your lips, then nuzzled his face into your neck. Your overstimulated nerves jumped at the feeling, and all you could do was give a weak moan and squirm a little. He leaned his hips into yours, until you felt his erection against your pussy, sliding against your clit. The orgasms he’d given you made you still wet enough that it felt amazing. You groaned, and Bruce stopped his teasing of your neck to sink his teeth into your skin and growl.
“‘M ready.” You gasped out. “Please.” That drew another growl from Bruce, and he let your neck out of his teeth, resting his forehead against you and panting into your wet skin. One hand left the table, going between his legs to position his dick as he pulled back.
When Bruce finally slid into you, it was so painfully slow that you couldn’t help but squirm and whine.
“Stop. Moving.” Bruce growled, his voice dropping into his Batman voice, only arousing you further.
“Please, daddy!” You cried, then froze. The words just came out without thinking, and you didn’t know if he was into that. Bruce stopped moving for a moment, as well, and for a horrible moment you were terrified that you’d killed the mood.
“Be patient, princess.” Bruce growled into your ear, nipping at you. Lust filled his voice, soothing your worry that your exclamation had been unwanted; far from it.
Bruce kept pushing his dick into you, continuing until he bottomed out. Then he just sat there, frustratingly patient, waiting and panting and nipping at your neck while he waited for you to adjust.
“Please, daddy, just fuck me!” You finally cried, unable to wait any longer.
And boy, did he.
Bruce’s hands on the table moved, grasping the far edge of it with both hands to hold it steady as his hips thrusted into yours. Your head rolled back, arching your back into him. You were utterly unable to speak, tiny unintelligible noises emitting from you. Bruce buried his face in your neck, alternately sucking and nipping hard at your neck as he made the table shudder from his thrusts.
You were still overstimulated from the earlier orgasms, and he was so aroused already, it didn’t take you both long to climb to the precipice. Your vision whited out and you screamed, feeling him orgasm inside you moments later.
When you came to, you were still in the batcave. Your hands were unbound, and your shirt and pants had been put back on you. Judging by the feel between your legs, he’d taken a damp towel or something and wiped you clean, and then apparently set you in the cot he had set up down in the batcave. You made a small inquisitive noise, stirring, and Bruce suddenly came into your line of vision. He walked over to you, and sat on the side of the bed next to you.
“Hey,” you greeted him, your voice rough and groggy. Bruce looked… uncertain. Nervous. You pulled a hand free of the blankets and held his, wanting to reassure him.
“Hey.” Bruce replied, a small smile emerging at your action. His thumb rubbed the part of your hand it could reach soothingly. “This… this wasn’t the way I wanted to tell you how I felt.” “Really?” You teased. “It seemed perfect to me.” That startled a laugh out of Bruce, and you warmed at the sound.
“Be that as it may, I’d… I’d really like to take you to dinner sometime.” “I’d like that.” You smiled back up at him.
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Johto Villain Arc is complete, and man, thank god it was better than Sinnoh’s. Low bar, but you know.
The best part is that it’s firmly focused on Silver. This is about him coming to terms with the fact that he does need support, and that sometimes he’s now fighting for things beyond just himself. It’s really good. Everyone around him is pretty solid too, I love that Ethan’s response to Silver getting irritable and telling everyone to leave him alone is just “No way, we’re friends now, and I am not going anywhere.” I kinda love Ethan now, I can’t lie. I’m sorry I kept getting you and Lucas mixed up and thinking it was because you’re both so boring. You’re better than that.
The boss gauntlet did give some brief cameos for the Gym Leaders, which was sadly missing from Sinnoh. Glad we fixed that. It didn’t give them a ton, and I am a little bit disappointed that Kris and Lyra both stop to fight Arianna. You really only needed one of you. Had one of them been in the fight with Giovanni, things would’ve gone much differently.
Speaking of whom! Acquiring Dynamax is already great, I’d love the explanation for how the hell he figured that one out, but taking on Lear and winning is also just great. An actual hostile takeover of the island is fantastic. Ethan and Silver team up to stop him, and...don’t win. Like, the battle is inconclusive rather than a clear loss on their end, but the fact that Giovanni stays in control suggests he might have won. Sadly, this means I don’t directly get my gloating moment that Johto is better than Kanto...but I will say that them facing TWO of Giovanni’s Pokemon at once and remaining standing while Red and Blue got their shit rocked by just Mewtwo, should indicate that I’m still correct, and the Johto kids are stronger. Again, if Kris or Lyra had been there...
The story ends off with Looker showing up to stop them, and Giovanni escaping via Abra teleportation. That goon is more effective than the admins, just saying. Giovanni decides to lay low for a while, but mentions that Team Rocket doesn’t need to do everything directly. He has “business associates” who he can rely on to cause some trouble while they’re licking their wounds, and set the stage for his next attempt. Which does a few things, some great, some not so great.
First, Giovanni is established as the villain. Cyrus got to be disconnected, but the remainder are apparently going to be allied to Giovanni, who’s playing the puppetmaster. On the one hand, the DeNA version of Giovanni is the best version of Giovanni, and I am legitimately invested in him and his plans. On the other hand, continued Gen 1 favoritism has me irritated. If this were a one-time thing it’d just be cool as hell, but this is a train going back a decade now, and it’s getting old.
Second, Giovanni being the big bad means we have to loop back around to him. And Kanto and Johto are both done, so there must be a big conclusion part once all the regions are complete. So that’s something to look forward to.
This, “business associates” is a big hint at the next arc. It’s vague, but I think we can at least rule out Archie and Maxie, who have absolutely nothing to do with Team Rocket at present. Ghetsis has former partnership with Giovanni, and they’re both unhinged enough to team up again despite prior betrayal if it gets them something they want. So it could be Unova. Another that struck me is Lusamine. A big question about her is how they’re going to handle Alolan Villain Arc, with Lusamine being the “redeemed” version from USUM. This could be their in. While alternate reality Lusamine with Nihilego is my preferred outcome, her being allied with Giovanni is potentially just as good. Potentially. The bad outcome is it’s the dumb Mewtwo mind control shit from USUM. I would hate that. But the good? Lusamine’s focus as a redeemed figure is that now, she’s here for her family and cares deeply about them. ...what would happen if Giovanni kidnapped Lillie, and gave Lusamine an ultimatum? Do you think she’d hesitate? Because I don’t. I’d be willing to say she’d absolutely go forward with whatever demands needed to be met to keep Lillie safe, but have her own machinations against Giovanni running to make him pay. And let me tell you. Lusamine going villain mode, but to stop another major villain? I am so goddamn here for it. A Lusamine that embraces those extremes and brings her full wrath to bear against Giovanni, even partnering with the object of her obsession to accomplish that goal, all for the safety of her children? That’s the best possible outcome. I now know exactly what I want from Alola’s villain arc.
But there’s actually two other possibilities. Galar isn’t impossible, depending on the state of Dynamax. If Giovanni is alluding to already established partnerships, Rose could be involved in how he figured out Dynamax, leading into the Galar villain arc. This would line up well with the last hurrah for Gen 8 before we get Gen 9 released. The other is based on another potential hint they gave earlier on.
“Even in this form.” Giovanni makes this comment about Hoopa. He knows about Unbound. And Hoopa’s propensity for mischief, combined with the much more aggressive nature of Unbound, would be exactly the kind of tool Giovanni would want to get. And with SS Serena taking Zygarde early, Kalos is notably low on options for a legend to focus the event around. Lysandre with Hoopa Unbound? His associate could be Lysandre, whose aim now is to remove Lear as a threat. Giovanni did note that Lear gave him more trouble than he expected, and not only neutralizing him as a threat, but taking away his partner and turning it into an ally? That’d be a hell of a gambit.
If it wasn’t obvious, my hopes are Alola or Kalos, as it always has been. But now I’m really invested. I know exactly what I’d like to see from Lusamine in an Alolan villain arc, that easily has the potential to be the best story ever told. But Kalos is a region I’d really like to see get more development through Masters, and having Lysandre take action with Hoopa Unbound could be really interesting as well. Unova or Galar are possible, but wouldn’t be my favorite picks, and I’m kinda ruling out Hoenn for the moment. But we’ll have to see.
As for Johto, I...kinda feel like it’s the best one. Kanto was really strong too, but Johto’s hitting more notes I like. I really like Silver’s development, they made me like Ethan, Giovanni is legitimately fun in this scenario, and the smaller cameos actually did stuff instead of just being cameos. Clair and Lance teamed up. Koga and Janine show up as a father-daughter combo. Bruno killed a guy, and mentioned Chuck is around. We got to see Kris get, like, legitimately pissed. Even Lyra, while still bubbly, is like “No promises!” when told to not go all out. It’s just all really good stuff, and I’m really satisfied with this one.
Now to just hope for Alola. Please Alola...
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StanQuest
Something clicked on in my brain a couple months ago and suddenly Sebastian Stan became the hottest man alive. So I decided to watch everything he’s ever been in. A friend and I called it StanQuest.
Here are my spoiler-free reviews for anyone considering something similar (in inverse chronological order starting with latest works and going back in time. The stars are an overall rating of the work, not of Sebastian’s performance.
This only lists things I could find streaming for free or a price I was willing to pay. It does not count after credits scenes, music videos, or works in which he was uncredited.
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) - TV show - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This started it all. I very much enjoyed it. Good balance of humor and action, heart and heroics. I’ve watched it four times already, and will watch it again. Bucky Barnes is my favorite character of his and this is my favorite story of Bucky's so far. I can’t wait to see what he does next. (And I have a lot to say about how they treat his trauma in this show. I’ve definitely written about it before and may again.)
Monday (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one where he gets naked. If that’s all you’re looking for, enjoy. It was a very realistic portrayal of a relationship between two deeply flawed people. It can get depressing. But hey, penis.
The Devil All the Time (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you think Monday is depressing, this movie says “hold my beer”. But something about it is just captivating. It’s really disturbing, and if you’ve ever been screwed over by American Evangelical Christianity it might be more disturbing. Still, I’ve watched it twice. And as much of a bastard as Lee Bodecker is, he also looks really cuddly. He’s just barely in it.
The Last Full Measure (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - You will cry. A lot. It’s based on a true story. Sebastian plays a man who cares more about his career than this weird quest dumped on his desk by his boss, but changes his mind and his heart as he investigates why a war hero was denied a medal of honor 34 years before. Definitely recommend.
Endings, Beginnings (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - One of two love interests in the complicated life of Shailene Woodley’s Daphne, Sebastian is an adorable mess. The editing is interesting and fresh feeling. Watch it and you’ll see what I mean. Fair amount of sex in this movie, and you see his butt. It’s a very nice butt. I’ve watched this one a few times so far.
Avengers: Endgame (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐ - There is no reason to watch this movie if you’re not familiar with at least most of the rest of the MCU. It plays merry hob with the rules of time travel, and only makes sense if you don’t really think about it. In my opinion, the ending is really freaking stupid comsidering his character’s history, but at least it sets up TFatWS, which was amazing.
We Have Always Lived in the Castle (2018) - Movie - ⭐ - If you’re into movies that are creepy but also almost nothing happens for most of the movie, this is the one for you. Sebastian is handsome as hell, but also a complete asshole. As fine as he is, I’m not gonna watch this again. I fucking hated it.
Destroyer (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- I had a hard time paying attention to the plot because it seemed like they made this movie just to get Nicole Kidman an Oscar nomination for wearing ugly makeup and playing a complete mess of a person. It’s a fine movie, and all of the performances are good. Sebastian looks surprisingly good with the short hair and goatee. Ultimately, the plot is depressing and the whole movie seems kind of pointless.
Avengers: Infinity War (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Again, no reason to watch this if you aren’t already familiar with all the movies leading up to it. It’s long and the villain looks like Grimace and a California Raisin had an evil baby. The ending made me scream with frustration that I had to wait until the next one came out. Now I just watch them back-to-back if I watch them at all. It’s not a good movie, but it is part of a long-form story that I enjoy in general.
I’m Not Here (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Another depressing one. Told over the course of one man’s terrible life, it’s a sad account of how much your parents can fuck you up. Sebastian portrays the middle part of the man’s life. J.K. Simmons plays the current day part and unreliable narrator.. Do not watch unless you are fully prepared to be sad for a really long time after.
I, Tonya (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- This movie is hilarious. I mean, the true story is insane and really stupid. The spousal abuse is hard to watch, and Sebastian’s mustache in this is a war crime. But the acting is great and it’s a very engaging movie. The parts that aren’t horrifying are pretty funny.
Logan Lucky (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Watch. This. Movie. Sebastian Stan is only in it a little, but it’s a really fun, clever caper/heist movie and everyone in it is fantastic. I don’t want to say anything else about it if you’re going in fresh. I’ll be rewatching this one a lot
Captain America: Civil War (2016) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you ignore how kind of silly the conflict over the Sokovia Accords is, this is a good Marvel movie. Sebastian gets a lot of screen time because Bucky is the more pressing concern/urgent point of contention than the Accords. Bucky is my favorite character of his partly because of this movie.
The Martian (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I’m watching it(again) as I’m typing this. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched it. Sebastian Stan isn’t in it very much, but he’s very cute and so is his little story arc. Mostly I watch it because Ridley Scott made a fantastic movie. If you can get your hands on the Blu-Ray, it comes with a ton of extras. They made a very complete story that isn’t all seen in the movie. A lot of it is stuff about Mars, but there are also extra “crew” interviews, so there’s another chance to see more of Sebastian’s character.
Ricki and the Flash (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - He’s not in this very much, but he’s very cute when he does appear. It’s all about the relationship between Ricki and her daughter. Definitely rewatchable. Meryl Streep is fantastic, because she’s Meryl Streep.
The Bronze (2015) - Movie - ⭐ - This is not a good movie. It’s about Olympic gymnastics, so it might be slightly more interesting right now while the Olympics are happening. Sebastian isn’t in it a lot, but his performance is certainly… memorable. Weirdest sex scene I’ve ever seen. Worth watching just for that.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one I can watch over and over. I bought a Winter Soldier face mask for when I need to feel like a badass. Bucky’s story is really sad, but he’s also extremely sexy with the metal arm and determined walk.
Once Upon a Time (2012-2013) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐ - This show is so stupid, but it’s also fun. If you haven’t seen it, the premise is that fairy tale characters are real and live in another land. Snow White’s Evil Queen casts a spell to transport a bunch of them to a town she creates in Maine called Storybrooke, and gives them all fake memories so she can be mayor and watch them all not remember who they are. Sebastian plays Jefferson, a.k.a. The Mad Hatter. He’s in a few episodes in season 1 and 2, and doesn’t get a ton of screen time, but he’s really cute and tragic as Jefferson. It probably helps to watch the whole first season just to understand his episodes, but that’s up to your tolerance for weird shit. Note: IMDB says he’s in an episode uncredited, but I’ve watched it and didn’t see him anywhere in that one.
Labyrinth (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐ - Two episodes that tell a complete story. Sebastian isn’t in this one a whole lot, but he is adorable. It’s a strange story about religious stuff and a sort of Holy Grail that’s three books. It’s hard to describe. It’s on Amazon Prime right now, but they’re taking it down August 8, 2021, so watch it while you can.
The Apparition (2012) - Movie - ⭐ - If you like horror movies, you might like this. I did not. From what I understand, it’s not a very good horror movie. Watch with caution and expect it to suck.
Political Animals (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I had to buy this through Apple and watch it on a Mac, but it was worth it. Sebastian plays TJ Hammond, the out gay son of a former American president who is clearly based on Bill Clinton. Sigorney Weaver plays the former first lady and current secretary of state. TJ struggles with addiction and relationship problems. His performance is heart-wrenching. The whole show is pretty great. I wish there was more of it.
Gone (2012) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - More of a psychological thriller than a horror movie. Sebastian has a small amount of screen time as the worried boyfriend. Amanda Seyfried is good. She carries the film well on her own.
Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you haven’t seen this yet, I’d like to know what it’s like under your rock. This is a movie I can rewatch a lot, and have. I 100% cried in the theater. Sebastian looks fantastic in uniform as Bucky Barnes. This is his introduction and the start of his ultimately tragic story (before he’s saved by his best friend, again).
Black Swan (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Sebastian is barely in this. He’s basically just in one scene in a dance club. But I watched it to try to complete StanQuest, and I had seen it before. It’s a good movie, but might induce some nightmares, depending on what scares you. If Natalie Portman didn’t at least get a nomination for an award she was robbed.
Gossip Girl (2007-2010) - TV Show - ⭐⭐ - Carter Baizen is a little shit. The episodes with Sebastian in them might have made more sense if I watched the show from the beginning, but I didn’t want to. His character is an asshole, but a very cute one.
Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- The people who made this movie are bad at math, and their rules of time travel are sketchy at best, but it is funny and entertaining. Sebastian plays a ski patrol bro who’s paranoid about the Russians, which is hilarious irony to me. Worth watching if you want to laugh at something dumb.
Kings (2009) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐- Sebastian plays Jack Benjamin, the closeted gay son of the king of a fictional place. It’s loosely based on the David and Goliath story from the Bible. Sebastian is so sad and so gay. His family makes his life a living hell. Ian McShane is a force of nature in this. It’s only one season. I’ve watched it twice. I will watch it again.
Spread (2009) - Movie - no stars - This movie was practically unwatchable. It stars Ashton Kutcher and Anne Heche as a romantic couple, I guess? I ended up just skipping to Sebastian’s scenes and only watching those. Still painful.
The Covenant (2006) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This movie is so fuckig stupid, and I will watch it a ridiculous number of times. It’s about magic and teenagers, like The Craft for boys. Nothing about it makes sense. It’s terrible, almost irredeemable, but an evil Sebastian with magic powers is a siren song that will make me steer my boat right into the rocks.
And there you have it. There are a bunch of earlier things on IMDB that I just can’t find or don’t want to pay to rent. Maybe some day I’ll watch them and add them to this list.
#sebastian stan#bucky barnes#the winter soldier#the falcon and the winter soldier#james buchanan barnes#monday: movie#the devil all the time#the last full measure#we have always lived in the castle#destroyer#endings beginnings#i'm not here#i tonya#logan lucky#ricki and the flash#the martian#the bronze#once upon a time#the covenant#spread#kings: show#Labyrinth: show#hot tub time machine#black swan#gossip girl#gone: movie#political animals#the apparition#movie reviews#celebrity crushes
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Controlled Explosions
Fandom: Marvel
Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Warnings: Normal superhero shenanigans
Summary: Tony doesn't go out of his way to create explosions. He just happens to be in a lot of situations where things explode, and that's hardly his fault, is it, Steve?
Five times Tony is the cause of an explosion, and one time someone else tries to be. Written for MTH2020
Read below or on AO3
1. Define 'controlled explosion'
"You said it would be a controlled explosion," Steve said.
"Yeah," Tony said, confused, and still-- if he was being honest-- having a little trouble hearing. He'd been a bit closer to the bomb when it went off than he'd meant to be. "It was."
"That was not controlled!"
At some other time, it would be fascinating to see the differences between Steve in Captain America mode and when he wasn't. When he'd been in Cap-mode, talking to Tony about how setting off the explosion early might be a bad idea, he'd been very calm about it all. Now that he was just Tony's boyfriend, he was kind of freaking out.
Tony blinked at him in confusion. It had been controlled. "The previous location of the bomb would've brought the whole building down. I know you don't really understand chain reactions, but suffice it to say that we saved an entire city block by moving it."
"For fuck's sake, Tony! I told you to go ahead because you made me think it was going to be safe!"
"I never said it was safe. I said that it was safer than letting it go off where it had been placed, which was true."
"You said it would be a controlled explosion!"
"And it was. Maybe you should look up what an uncontrolled explosion looks like," Tony said, patting him on the arm then getting on his tiptoes for a quick kiss before leaving. He needed to take a shower and get some of this grime off. He heard Steve say something in response, but it was too low for him to really make out with his ears still ringing-- and not facing him, so he couldn't read his lips and try to piece it together. He imagined that it was something half-loving and half-derogatory, since that's what Steve usually did when Tony did something dangerous in the field. If it was really important, Steve would say it again.
2. Who knew that artifact would explode?
Despite what some people-- like Steve, Coulson, the rest of the Avengers really-- thought about Tony and his workshop, he did practice safe procedures. What they didn't seem to really understand was that there were situations where he could be safe and shit would still go wrong.
Like this. This was an alien artifact, and Thor was out of contact dealing with royal Asgard business-- presumably; it's not like he'd filled them in, just said that he had to go home and would be back as soon as he could-- so Tony was guessing. He had on thick gloves and goggles, and he wasn't even touching the glowing sphere directly, which was progress that he thought they should be appreciative of. He had tools. Not as easy to work with as his own fingers, but it was still good enough that he'd been able to pry away part of the outside protective, metal shell.
He gingerly placed the tongs on the inside and made to turn it so he could confirm that it was the same all around, but he didn't get the chance. An explosion rocked the workshop, leaving a crater where his table used to be and blowing him halfway across the room.
"Huh," Tony said, then started coughing. Bright side? He still had all his fingers. The tongs he'd been using were vaporized as best he could tell. In fact, everything metal within a foot of the sphere was now gone. Tony's gloves were untouched. He pulled one off and slid the goggles off his face so he could get a better look at them. The lenses were fine, as expected. Most of the components were plastic, but there were a couple places that had metal pins, just to help hold it together. The pins were gone. One firm tug, and the strap would disconnect from the lenses.
Half the team-- the half that had been in the Tower-- came running into the room. Tony gave a half-hearted wave, still coughing.
"What happened?" Natasha asked.
"Well, let's look on the bright side," Tony said roughly, pushing himself to his feet. "I'm still alive." If he'd been closer to it when it went off, it would've taken a chunk out of the arc reactor. Its range had been small enough that he was safe. It was obvious that things hadn't gone as wrong as they could have, so he didn't see why they were looking at him with that much concern. He coughed again. "Maybe I'll call the Fantastic Four to take this one over." He didn't want to, but he hadn't been having any luck with it before it took a bite out of his workshop. If nothing else, it wouldn't instantly kill any of them if they were standing too close. Besides, Reed was pretty good about passing information back to him. And if there was any superhero group he had to work with, he'd choose the Fantastic Four every time.
"Yeah, I don't think that really answered the question," Clint said. "You're lucky Cap's not here, or you'd find yourself wrapped in a blanket before you took another breath."
Tony flipped him off. He should probably go to medical. There hadn't been any smoke, but he was coughing like there had been. What a pain.
3. Oxygen works differently here
Other planets were weird. He could tell, just by breathing, that the air here wasn't what they were used to. The good news was that they were all still alive and were going to stay that way for a while. The Guardians-- short for Guardians of the Galaxy-- were explaining a few things to Steve. Apparently, the villain that had transported them here was one that had beef with the Guardians, and Steve wanted to be prepared in case it happened again.
Tony knew that he was going to have to wait until they were done with the official superhero talk before he had a chance to ask them about atmosphere, gravity, and what it was like to have more than one moon. He also had a few questions about the air, because this was definitely not the cocktail he was used to.
He was feeling... high, almost. It could be any number of things, but higher oxygen levels would be the answer easiest to solve on his own. If he lit a match and it burned bigger than usual, it was oxygen. If it was brighter, it was nitrogen. If it did both or a weird mixture of other stuff, he'd have no idea what it was without taking a sample of the air and analyzing it. Chemistry wasn't his strong point when it came to the sciences, but he knew the basics. Enough to make sense of breathable air, at the very least.
Nothing wrong with a little test. He had a laser in the armor, but that wasn't as predictable as regular fire even though it was easier for him to access. He had a lighter in one of the fingers of the armor, so he held his hand as far away from himself as he could for a better view, and activated it.
It went off like a fucking firework. Tony deactivated the lighter almost as soon as he'd started it, but the damage had been done. "Shit," he bit out, jerking his hand back, but he could tell that his hand had already been injured. The suit was protected from the outside, not the inside, and since it had been his lighter that had started it... yeah. That shit stung.
Even after turning off the lighter, the fire persisted. Tony cocked his head as the flames stayed where it had stared but lasted longer on its own than a fire could on Earth without something to hold onto. Despite knowing that nothing was helping it keep burning, Tony couldn't help but peer at it, trying to find a wick or gas line.
That was a bit more than he'd expected. It took a full eight seconds for the fire to burn itself out.
"Huh." Weird. He really should ask- that thought stopped cold when he turned and saw everyone staring at him.
"Dude," Sam said.
Steve's mouth was slightly ajar, like he wanted to ream into Tony for being stupid but didn't know where to start.
"In case anyone was wondering, this air isn't the same as what we have on Earth."
"Yeah, thanks Tony," Natasha said dryly.
"Always happy to help. Uh. Anyone got burn cream?"
"Is he like this all the time?" one of the Guardians-- a new one, Tony didn't remember their name-- asked.
"Yeah," Steve said.
4. Home-made, on a budget
"This has got to be one of the worst things we've done," Steve said under his breath.
"Is it?" Tony asked absently, looking at the chemical breakdown of the fertilizer. Hmph. Better for soil probably, but not really what he was looking for. He put it down and picked up the brand next to it. Ah, this was more like it. He set it down and squatted to get the big bag and add it to the cart.
"No weapons, no intel. Why aren't you freaking out?"
"No weapons is a very closed-minded view of the situation, babe."
"What, are you going to drown people in fertilizer?" Steve asked. He sounded genuinely confused, which was weird. Tony had thought everyone these days knew that fertilizer could be used in explosives.
"Just keep pushing the cart and leave this part to me," Tony said, because he figured that giving a quick chemistry lesson in the middle of the gardening section was a bad idea. See? He was getting better at this whole pretending-to-be-a-normal-person thing. No matter what Clint said.
"I'm not stupid," Steve said, and Tony was familiar enough with him to catch the irritation there.
"Never meant to imply you were, but I figured we should get in and out before we get caught." Ooo, Christmas lights. He didn't know what he would've done if they'd had to buy normal lightbulbs for this; it would've taken like five boxes instead of just the one, and they would've been less effective since they were for everyday use and used a completely different composition for the bulb covering. "Besides," Tony said, aiming a grin back at him, "you'll probably figure it out as we put these together."
"You're making stuff we can use," Steve stated, like he hadn't really known what they were doing here. Tony would like to pretend to be offended that Steve thought he'd be gift shopping at a time like this, but he'd done that during a crisis before. Then, "Are you sure it'll be powerful enough?"
"We're not blowing up a bunker. This'll be plenty. There's a lot more firepower in everyday household items than you'd think."
"Clearly," Steve muttered.
"Trust me, Cap, by the time we're back in the Tower, you'll know enough to be able to put together your own pipe bomb for the next time you get stranded like this."
"I'm hoping this is the only time."
"With our lives?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow. "What kind of odds are you being given on that? I don't think even a hundred to one would be worth it when you know you're going to lose. Or rather, I know you're going to lose, and since I have more experience, I feel like you should listen to me."
Steve rolled his eyes, but with more humor than before. Apparently, knowing that Tony had the situation in hand was enough to soothe all of his worries.
"Hey, you should be happy this place even has a hardware store. There's like, one gas station with a McDonald's attached, and then this store. I don't think I'd be able to do a lot of damage with whatever I could find in a McDonald's."
"I have faith in Iron Man's ability to save us," Steve said, and when Tony glanced at him, he was looking at him fondly and with a healthy dose of love thrown in for good measure. He'd gotten used to that expression on Steve's face in a hurry.
5. Bucky agreed with me
It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Famous last words, Tony knew, but it really had. He'd tell Steve that he regretted it, if that's what he wanted to hear, but he held that it was a good idea. That it was bad for PR was hardly his fault, and frankly, he didn't understand why it would be bad for PR anyways. It was a Hydra base! They were Nazis, and everyone hated Nazis. If anything, him and Bucky should get a thank you card for performing a public service.
He got the distinct feeling that Steve wouldn't agree with that, though.
"What were you thinking?" Steve asked, looking a little frazzled around the edges. Given that he was having to deal with Tony and Bucky for this, that made sense. Normally it was one or the other. Now, he was outnumbered.
"It seemed like a good idea," Tony said, and Bucky nodded.
"A really good idea," Bucky added.
"You blew up a building!"
"There weren't any other buildings around it," Tony said.
"No civilian casualties," Bucky said.
"It's still personal property damage, and I thought we all agreed to try and cut down on that."
"Do we care about Hydra's personal property?" Tony asked, frowning. He'd been under the distinct impression that they didn't. For fuck's sake, it was Hydra they were talking about.
"Officially, the Hydra organization itself didn't own the building or the land," Steve said.
"How do you know that?" Bucky asked curiously, which was a good point. Since when did Steve pay attention to details like that? It wasn't exactly something he could know just from paying attention to the situation.
"Agent Coulson told me. As our handler, it's his job to know those details and share them with us as he sees fit."
"Damn, are you quoting the handbook now?" Bucky said, raising an eyebrow.
"Besides, if Agent is our handler, then it's his job to take care of the buildings we blow up."
"Tony, stop missing the point on purpose."
"Who said I'm missing it on purpose? Maybe I'm missing it on accident, you don't know."
Steve gave him a flat look. "You can't go around blowing up buildings just because you feel like it." He looked at Bucky. "I get that you want to, and as your friend, I support you. As the team leader and another Avenger, I have to tell you to stop. We don't get to do whatever we want."
"Yeah yeah, there are rules, we all agreed to them, we'll be better next time, all that jazz," Tony said, throwing an arm around Steve's shoulders and getting up on his toes to give him a quick kiss.
Steve just sighed. "I love both of you, but seriously, what the hell?" He put his arm around Tony's waist since he didn't move to walk away. "We've been fine on this for a couple years. What made this different?"
Tony and Bucky shared a look. They hadn't agreed not to tell anyone, but there had been an unspoken understanding that the less people knew about it, the better off they'd all be. "It was a research lab," Bucky said, and he left it at that. They didn't need to elaborate what kind of research, because Steve knew that any research Hydra was doing was bad news. The only way they'd had of making sure that none of the research was recovered was by getting rid of the entire building. Whatever hadn't been destroyed in the initial blast was then rendered unrecoverable when the roof collapsed on top of it all.
Steve glanced between the two of them. He knew that basic research wouldn't have gotten this reaction, but Hydra didn't do 'basic' research; there wasn't any point in being an evil organization if you were going to be moral with your experiments. Tony could see it on the tip of his tongue that he wanted to ask what kind of research, but none of it made it out of his mouth. "Okay. You know the speech. Don't do it again, formal apology if Agent Coulson says it's required, all that crap."
"Done," Bucky said immediately, and Tony gave Steve another soft kiss in thanks. They both knew that Steve was on their side for stuff like this, but sometimes he wanted so badly to be a good Captain America that it muddied the waters.
+1. Half-heart, Half-bomb
"I guess that's one explosion you finally don't have to worry about," Tony joked with a tremulous smile.
Steve smiled back, just as weakly. They were both pretending. Tony wondered how long that would last before Steve couldn't take it anymore and worried over him in a more obvious manner. It would probably last all the way up until they were back home, with the doors shut and no outside eyes on them. Then he was going to worry like the world's biggest mother hen. For now though, Tony was grateful for him trying.
The whir of the quinjet was comforting to him now like it had never been before. Tony didn't know what was wrong with him. He'd been in dangerous situations a hundred times before, as Iron Man. Hell, he'd been in more dangerous situations than the one he'd just gotten rescued from.
The problem, he guessed, was that... well, this one hit closer to home. It was the arc reactor. It was a part of him. Having that be turned against him felt like a betrayal, somehow.
Since becoming Iron Man, he'd done his fair share of starting fires and creating explosions-- more than his fair share, if you asked Steve. With Obadiah, he'd used the first arc reactor that Howard had built as a bomb. A small one, considering the amount of firepower it had, but a bomb all the same. To see the same thing happen to his own had been nothing short of a nightmare. The kind of nightmare that woke you up in the middle of the night, shaking and clammy. He'd woken up from a drugged sleep and seen wires coming out of his chest. He hadn't been convinced that it wasn't a vivid hallucination, at first, but it hadn't stopped him from panicking.
They got to the Tower, headed inside, and went straight to their room. Well, officially it was Tony's room, but it was only a matter of time before Steve moved in.
"You want to talk about it?" Steve asked.
Tony rubbed over the arc reactor reflexively. He couldn't feel any sensation from it, but he could feel the heel of his palm on one side, and the tips of his fingers on the other. The fact that his palm wasn't skipping over emptiness did quite a bit to reassure him that he was fine. The problem, of course, was that he already knew he was fine. He was here, and he wasn't in pain. Steve was here, and they weren't in a battle. He knew that everything was fine.
Now if he could just stop freaking out about it.
"It wasn't even a good bomb," Tony said, the words slipping out of his mouth one after another. "Like, can you imagine making a bomb out of someone's pacemaker, so it would kill them, but you're not even going to get the destruction radius that you want? The arc reactor has so much energy that you could easily level a city block, but with the way they did it, it wouldn't have gone more than ten feet. It wouldn't have made it through a wall if I'd been standing right next to it. What kind of bullshit villain do you have to be to not know how to properly make a bomb? The only one it would've killed was- me, and- it's not like there aren't easier ways of- doing that. It's like-" He was having trouble breathing now. He was talking himself into a panic.
Steve wrapped him up in a hug, and Tony hid his face against Steve's neck. "They're stupid, you're not. We're gonna wake up tomorrow and get to do whatever the hell we want, and they won't be able to. It's gonna be okay. We all know you're better at this than anyone else, right?" he added on the end, smiling a little to try and raise Tony's spirits even though he couldn't see him; Tony always said that he loved Steve's smile.
"Yeah." He took a shaky breath in. It was weird; he felt like he was closer to falling apart now than he'd been while it was happening. Once he'd figured out that he wasn't trapped in the middle of a nightmare, he'd been able to deal with it. Grace under pressure or something, he guessed. It didn't make much sense to him for why he should be so calm then only to fall into pieces now. And he did. Fall into pieces, that is.
Steve just held him and said, "You're safe now. I've got you."
He didn't cry, not really. Mostly he stood there, shaking and clinging to Steve like a lifeline. He knew that he'd feel better by tomorrow, but for now, he let himself feel bad.
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Alright y’all, I was bored and wanted to ignore my hw, so I made a tier list on everyone’s lore and a quick writeup for each placement. Just an fyi this is my opinion and will most likely change as we get more story content, but right now this is where I stand (no arguing please, or at least nothing that’ll result in name calling and such)
But yeah this is something I’ll probably look back on and be like “hmm maybe I was too harsh with my rankings” but rn it’s like 2:30 in the morning so yeah
TW: mention of abuse in Octane’s section
All of it will be under the cut
S Tier
Bloodhound: Maybe I’m biased because I’m a BH main, but imo their lore is the most interesting and nuanced out of everyone’s. From their parents, to their uncle, to Boone, and now their planet, Bloodhound’s backstory, current lore, and character is fantastic and honestly peak writing from Respawn atm.
Wraith: I understand that not everyone loves the “I lost my memory and am now trying to find out who I am” trope, and maybe this is also biased because I’m a complete Wraith simp, but her lore to me is also very unique and well done. The entire Voidwalker cinematic alone is what’s basically putting her in S tier, but I also love how she is the prime definition of “Looks like they can kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll” instead of your typical edgy girl that coldly pushes everyone away.
A Tier
Horizon: Interstellar but make it Scottish. She has really nice interactions with Mirage and Wattson, and there’s plenty of potential with where her character can go now that Ash is in the picture.
Gibraltar: While his lore isn’t as flashy like the ones in S tier, I still think it’s really good. For one, it’s consistent, and the stuff with Nik and Michael is very bittersweet. I really like how despite the tragedies in his life, like BH, that only made him more determined to do the right thing. 10/10 he’s got your back bruddahs
Mirage: Respawn’s poster boy, so it’s only natural that he gets a shitload of lore. Fortunately, it’s not shit and actually fleshes him out as a character greatly. I also really like the canon sibling relationship he has with Rampart. Now that his dad may or may not force himself into the picture soon, it’s gonna be more character development for Mirage either way.
Borderline
I’ll explain this tier real quick. Basically they’re between A and B; they have the potential to be great, but they’re being held back by a certain something.
--
Bangalore: Pathfinder’s Quest did a really good job fleshing her out, but the love triangle and inconsistent behavior towards Wraith isn’t doing her any favors. It’s a shame, because characters like Anita are really unique and not seen often. I can only hope Respawn realizes that no, love triangles are not the peak writing they think it is.
Loba: Same deal here, that love triangle and her rebounding off Valk is really not doing anything good towards her character. They’re adults, are they not capable of communicating? Like Bangalore, she’s also really unique in the sense that she’s a bisexual woman of color in a video game who is a complete girlboss and inspiration. Respawn stop fucking up your characters please!
B Tier
Revenant: He’s really badass, and his lore is fun, it’s just that the writing is making him look like a complete joke. He gets clowned on every time he’s about to do something cool and it’s honestly kinda sad. If the writing could give him a few kills to his name to actually establish that he’s a threat, I’ll put him up higher.
Octane: If this was fanon Octane, he’d be an automatic S tier. Respawn needs to flesh out his backstory some more, like most of the fanfics do. That one comic where he confronts his dad was 10/10, we just need more of that and actually tackling the effects his father’s abuse had on him. Also the potential history he has with Seer is a good opportunity to explore more of his character, so that’s a good start.
Rampart: Just recently she’s getting lore, and all of it is very good so far. The relationships she has with a lot of the legends are very strong, and the foreshadowing towards Big Sister returning is also a huge plus.
Fuse: The Maggie stuff was honestly really fucking lame (I blame the ingame comics for this), for me what’s really carrying his character rn are the Fusehound interactions. Idrc if it ends up platonic or romantic, all Ik is that there is a lot of potential in fleshing out Fuse as a character either way.
C Tier
Pathfinder: Okay I’m not gonna lie, I have conflicted feelings on Path. He got an entire book to himself dedicated to his own lore, along with a cinematic that gave a visual on what actually happened to his creators, and yet I don’t care for his lore??? Thinking about it, it’s probably because he didn’t really get any character development, he ultimately stayed the same (except that one moment where Revenant screwed with him, but he bounced back literally one chapter later). Also, it honestly looks like his story is over anyway, he just has to find his kid. At least his personality is 10/10 though
Lifeline: Y’all are probably thinking, why is Lifeline here and not Octane + vice versa, isn’t their lore basically the same? It’s because imo Octane has more potential character development atm, and Lifeline doesn’t really have any character interactions that don’t have to do with her childhood friend, so that to me is what’s separating her from Octane. Lol again if this were fanon Lifeline she’d probably be in A tier, borderline S tier.
D Tier
Valkyrie: Literally the first thing that happens to her in the lore is that she gets thrown into a love triangle. I understand that it’s in her character to be flirty and stuff, but a love triangle? Really? Ms. Kairi Imahara deserves sm better than that. Honestly the only reason she’s not in F tier is because I like her personality, along with the Northstar cinematic.
Seer: Tbh, there isn’t a lot we know about Seer. However, what we know about him so far isn’t detrimental and for me the reason he isn’t in F tier. The interactions he has so far have the potential to be explored.
E Tier
Wattson: Man. I wish she wasn’t here, but the fact that almost all her lore involves babysitting two grown men really killed her character for me. Fanon Wattson is a million times more enjoyable to me, Respawn needs to seriously consider giving her independent lore and/or branch out to other characters that aren’t Crypto and Caustic.
Crypto: Same thing, the fact that he’s strictly tied to Wattson and Caustic rn is annoying and stupid. It also doesn’t help that literally nothing about his personal lore has been addressed recently (Mila, clearing his name).
F Tier
Caustic: If he were actually established as a proper villain, he’d be way higher. But no, Respawn wants to play rock paper scissors with this guy; one second he literally wants to gas a city, the next he’s playing nice because “Wattson blackmailed him?” Lol I don’t fucking think so. I’m not saying a redemption arc for Caustic is impossible, it’s just that Respawn did a really shitty job in actually convincing people that he deserves it. And yes, even the whole deal with his mom isn’t doing it for me. Nah fuck this guy sorry y’all, he’d be way better as a villain imo
TLDR: Fanon does it better
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March 12, 2021: Jason and the Argonauts (Review)
We gotta revitalize the mythology epic film.
I loved this movie...mostly. I’ll get to the “mostly” of it all, but I need to first say that I love the idea of this film. I desperately want more films based (faithfully) on Greek mythology. Please. PLEASE. And I know, I know, Paramount made a Clash of the Titans reboot in 2010, and it was...
...bad. It was really bad. Also probably ended Sam Worthington’s career, because dude VANISHED into the aether of Hollywood after this movie, and its equally bad sequel, Wrath of the Titans. I know, OK? But I still desperately want Greek mythology films.
And yeah, this would be an...OK start, but there’s so much potential! We’ve had Troy to cover Homer’s Iliad, and Troy wasn’t terrible, but we NEED an Odyssey movie, for the love of GOD. Do you know how much goddamn potential there is for an Odyssey movie?
And I’m fully aware of O Brother Where Art Thou, but it’s loosely based on the story at best. We need an Odyssey movie, is all I’m saying. Not just that, though. We need a new movie about Hercules (non-Disney, and NOT starring the Rock), a movie about a normal Greek dude navigating the complex world of the gods, maybe a movie about Theseus or Perseus (again, yes, I know), and, of course, a Jason and the Argonauts movie.
I need this. I need this more than I can express. Oh, and I really want these films to be accurate, not the fast-and-loose approach to mythology that 1963′s film incarnation played. And oh...let’s get to THAT, shall we? Check out Part One and Part Two of the Recap for more on that, if you’d like more details!
Review
Cast and Acting: 9/10
Much to my everlasting surprise, the acting in this film is actually pretty good! Yeah, it’s definitely got that stereotypical 1960s flair, but it actually makes sense for an epic film based on Greek mythology. It all feels very epic, very grand, and the actors definitely help to contribute to that feeling. Up top, of course, you’ve got Todd Armstrong playing the noble Jason...kinda. Yeah, we’ll get to that, but he only played the character physically, while his voice was overdubbed by Tim Turner. Which...yeah, again, more on that later. But Armstrong is backed by some good support, especially Honor Blackman, Laurence Naismith, and Nancy Kovack, whose turn as the future murderer Medea actually shows her potential villainy in her sparse performance. Seriously, I was impressed by her characterization! This movie surprised me in terms of its acting. Although...Nigel Green as Heracles is only OK, and I’m a little chuffed that he only lasted through some of the film. Of course, that harkens to my BIGGEST issue...
Plot and Writing: 7/10
...OK, look, I know in my heart-of-hearts that judging the story of this film, adapted by Beverley Cross and Jan Read, as based on The Argonautica by Appolonius Rhodius, is unfair. It is. I’m aware of this, don’t worry. But that said...it’s not as good as the original story. Or, at the very least, it makes some weird choices that could’ve been changed. I went through the major inaccuracies in my Recap (too much, at that), so I won’t touch on most of that here. BUT, I do have some points to get through. Bear with me (or just skip this section, let’s be honest).
Missing Argonauts: Literally, the only major Argonaut from the story that actually gets to do something is Heracles, and he DOESN’T GET TO BE HERACLES. Dude is the most famous demigod of all time, and he never gets to do anything more than hold open a door and piss of Talos. Yeah. Disappointing as HELL. But that’s not THE WORST of it. Sure, Atalanta can be unused, as she wasn’t in many versions of the myth anyway. But the Wind Brothers? They’re necessary for defeating the Harpies, but they’re nowhere to be seen. Castor and Pollux? Oh, they’re in the movie, and they don’t do ANYTHING. Orpheus? ORPHEUS? YOU DIDN’T INCLUDE ORPHEUS AT ALL? Orpheus is arguably the most important of the Argonauts outside of Jason and Heracles, and he’s just...nonexistent. That’s just patently offensive. You really couldn’t give Harryhausen the chance to make Sirens? That would’ve been amazing! Speaking of them...
Missing and Misplaced Perils: Yeah, OK, this one’s a little unfair, because I don’t think putting Talos in here was a bad idea AT ALL. It’s actually my favorite part of the film, not gonna lie. But yeah, he was present on the return journey, not the journey to Colchis. But OK, whatever. At least we have the Harpies, the Clashing Rocks, the Sirens, the...oh wait. Where are the Sirens? I guess with no Orpheus, there are no Sirens, but...we really should’ve had both in here, come on.
Acastus: Yeah, here’s a weird criticism, but Acastus really was misused in here as well. He was actually one of Jason’s Argonauts, and came back from the journey on good terms with him...until Medea manipulated and tricked his sisters into cutting their father into pieces in order to gain promised immortality and boil those pieces for consumption. Yeah. Medea’s evil as SHIT. But turning Acastus into a heel-turn villain was...unnecessary, I think. Not that bad, though, so I guess this is a nitpick. I guess I would’ve liked to see the group return, and have had Acastus side with Jason against Pelias. I think that would’ve been neat. And speaking of Pelias...
The Ending: WHAT THE FUCK WAS WITH THE ENDING? Really? No conclusion to the story? What happens on the journey back? What happens with Pelias and Jason? Does Jason become King of Thessaly, now that Acastus is dead? Come on, man, what the hell! I HATE how that film ends so much, because there’s just nothing. Jason escapes by jumping off a cliff, the soldiers are still around (and are probably gonna kill the Colchian soldiers out of bloodlust), and Jason and Medea kiss, AND THE MOVIE ENDS. GAAAAAAAH
...Yeah, the plot could use some work, I think. But the worst part is...it’s still not a bad version of the story. Yeah! Despite all of my problems with it, most of the changes narratively make sense, outside of the original Argonautica. So, all things considered, I’m probably being too harsh on this film for personal reasons. What can I say, I love Greek mythology? But, I can still admit that this film is well-plotted out...for what it is.
Directing and Cinematography: 8/10
Is it the most groundbreaking direction by Don Chaffey, or the best cinematography by Wilkie Cooper? Well, no, but it’s still good. There aren’t exactly any amazing and groundbreaking shots here, but I also have no complains about either of these categories. So, yeah, not bad, guys. However...
Production and Art Design: 10/10
...the film still LOOKS fantastic. Because the production, set, and art design of this movie are all fantastic. From the costumes, to the Argo, to the authentic-looking sets, this movie looks great. And, of course...there are the effects by Ray Harryhausen. Which deserves the biggest chef’s kiss I can muster. Some of you may be thinking, “I dunno man, those effects don’t fully hold up.” To which I must remind you, that this film is 57 years old. FIFTY. SEVEN. Look, for the time period, this is groundbreaking, and it honestly looks pretty good today, even with the advent of better technologies. And the fact that these are technically physical objects does make this film look more...well, real, to be honest. It all looks pretty real, in a way. And they’re even pretty well-integrated with the live-action actors, much to my surprise. Gotta say, I love it. Antiquated, maybe, but also authentic. I love it.
Music and Editing: 9/10
Music, done by Bernard Hermann, is stellar and BOOMING. It’s an epic score for an epic story, and I also love it. As for the editing by Maurice Rootes, it’s also pretty great. Except for the sound editing. Yeah, um, the sound-editing for this movie isn’t great. It’s not bad, but it definitely isn’t amazing, especially in the base of dubbing for Jason and Medea. Oh, yeah, she’s dubbed over by Eva Haddon, forgot to mention that. And it’s pretty obvious. It’s a weak point, is what I’m saying.
88%, which might be a little...biased.
I love Greek mythology (he said for the eightieth time), and that may have colored my perception of this film. And yet, I do still really like this movie! It’s a classic film, and I’m looking forward to the other film of it’s caliber coming in a few days!
For the next one, though, I’ll have to do something non-Greek myth based. I mean, to continue the previously established trend...back to Japan for 3 HOURS? Oh...oh shit. I may have to break this next one up.
March 13, 2021: Kwaidan (1965)
#jason and the argonauts#don chaffey#ray harryhausen#todd armstrong#nancy kovack#honor blackman#gary raymond#laurence naismith#greek mythology#argonauts#argonautica#apollonius rhodius#user365#365 movie challenge#365 movies 365 days#365 Days 365 Movies#365 movies a year#movie review
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Venom: Let There Be Carnage – The Comics History of the Symbiote Rivalry
https://ift.tt/3APMTrk
Something that impresses me with a superhero movie like Venom is when it doesn’t rush directly into the expected villain. When there are four different Fantastic Four movies, and they’re all about emphasizing Dr. Doom, it’s a breath of fresh air when, say, Man of Steel only makes an Easter egg reference to Lex Luthor instead of going directly for that confrontation. The MCU Spider-Man has yet to meet an Osborn, guys like Thanos and Darkseid started out as ominous benefactors, and the existence of Heath Ledger Joker was merely a cliffhanger tease in Batman Begins.
Much like how the Justice League movie decided to take its time by giving us Steppenwolf of all people, the first Venom movie had Carlton Drake (who hasn’t appeared in the comics since the early 9’0s) and Riot (the most forgettable of all of Venom’s comic children). By letting Venom build himself up on his own, flanked by some rather mundane villains, it gave more meaning to Cletus Kasady showing up in the post-credits. Carnage, Venom’s main villain, gets more fanfare by appearing in the sequel where our hero is fully formed.
Since Carnage’s first appearance in 1992, the idea has always been to make a darker, scarier Venom. Venom was a villain at the time, sure, but he was also on the border of becoming more. Outside of his personal delusions and anger issues, he still claimed that he wanted to help the innocent and punish the guilty. Even when he was able to accept that Spider-Man was good, they couldn’t co-exist due to their different natures as vigilantes. Carnage was simpler because he was full-on evil and had no potential for redemption. He was something so sinister and malevolent that both Spider-Man and Venom knew it was worth it to put aside their differences and take this creep down.
Venom: Let There Be Carnage has hyped Carnage up as being out of Venom’s league and that was the initial push of the character. Over time, the two became roughly equals as Carnage became the go-to bad guy for Venom to punch.
So let’s take a look at the history of Venom vs. Carnage. For the sake of simplicity, I’m going to define “Venom” and “Carnage” as characters wearing their respective symbiotes (excluding Peter Parker), or the symbiotes themselves. I’m not going to count Eddie Brock as Toxin, or Flash Thompson as Agent Anti-Venom or whatever.
Carnage’s Debut
Not counting cameos and build-up, Carnage’s first major appearance was in Amazing Spider-Man #361, starting off a three-parter. Spider-Man came to realize that he wasn’t enough to stop Carnage and he was going to need help. Specifically, he was going to need Venom. This was an awkward decision as Venom was at the time living his best life on an empty island, thinking that he had succeeded in killing Spider-Man.
Once Venom fully understood the situation, he accepted the temporary alliance. In the very first Venom vs. Carnage confrontation, Venom and Spider-Man tackled Carnage, got slammed into each other, then thrown into opposite walls. Carnage then caused a distraction by putting a baby in danger so he could escape. While he was dominant in that very brief scuffle, he still needed to run off, so I’m calling this a draw.
The handicap match continued into the last issue of the arc at a rock concert. In one-on-one exchanges, Carnage had Venom’s number, but Spider-Man was always there for the save. Spider-Man was able to use the sonics from the amplifiers to take out both of them. Technically a draw again, but it’s also a situation where Carnage regularly kicked the shit out of Venom and Venom only survived because he had help.
Maxium Carnage
Insert your Green Jelly cassettes and press play because it’s time for Carnage’s big ’90s crossover story. After the previous story’s popularity, Marvel decided to add more heroes, more villains, and make the whole thing a whopping 14 issues!
As Venom was a San Francisco vigilante at the time, he flew to New York to stop Carnage’s reign of terror. The first fight wasn’t even shown, as after the reveal that Carnage had Shriek and Doppelganger on his side, it cut away. A brutalized Venom was later found passing out while knocking on Peter and MJ’s door.
As Maximum Carnage was filled with so much filler and extra characters, there were various fight scenes of a group of heroes brawling with a group of villains. Venom and Carnage talked smack a lot, but nothing much ever really happened in terms of fighting. The story finally kicked into gear when Venom used a stolen sonic gun and blasted Carnage while Firestar assisted with her microwave blasts. This would have done the job, but Spider-Man got in the way and Shriek simply cut Cletus’ face open, causing his symbiote to respawn and bring him back to 100 percent health. Carnage and Shriek overwhelmed Venom and carried him off, along with the sonic gun.
Venom spent several issues being tortured until coming up with the plan to sneak some of the symbiote into the sonic gun so that Carnage would splatter Venom with more Venom. He punched Carnage down and escaped with gusto, hiding the fact that he was in no condition to fight.
It isn’t until the last issue that we FINALLY got a real Venom vs. Carnage fight. Venom was physically busted a bit, but Carnage was mentally busted. The heroes hit him with some MaGuffin device that caused him to be haunted by those who screwed him up in life. Venom pretty much just kicked Carnage’s ass around the city while Carnage tried in vain to escape. Every now and then, Spider-Man would appear and go, “B-b-but Eddie! Killing is wrong!” for the sake of giving Carnage a second wind.
Eventually, Venom punched Carnage so hard that Carnage’s brain ghosts went away. Knowing Carnage was more of a threat this way, Venom tackled him into a transformer. After the explosion, Cletus was knocked out and Venom got to weakly sneak away. Hey, good for him!
Venom: Carnage Unleashed
Venom was so popular that we got Carnage. Carnage’s initial storyline was so popular that we got Maximum Carnage. Maximum Carnage was so popular that we got a Maximum Carnage video game. Then we got Venom: Carnage Unleashed, a comic based on the popularity of the Maximum Carnage video game. It…wasn’t all too popular.
Still, it did give us the rarely used plot device that symbiotes can travel through phone lines and the internet! Symbiotes really are like pre-Crisis Superman where you can give them whatever power and people will just go with it no matter how ridiculous. As Carnage escaped from Ravencroft and commandeered a security tank, Venom eventually caught up with him and they had a fight on a runaway vehicle through traffic. Carnage eventually won when Venom got slammed by an oncoming train.
Their final battle here is a big pile of “That’s not how any of this works!” The two characters send symbiote tendrils into the internet, which were rendered on the Times Square big screen as the two brawled in cyberspace. Venom destroyed a nearby heatsink, which blasted both and knocked them out of the internet.
Carnage was ready for another go, but his kidnapped psychiatrist set him on fire and caused him to fall out a window. Venom reached through the phone lines and out the window to catch the falling Cletus because dying is WHAT HE WANTS. Which… no, that’s not true at all. Hell, even in Maximum Carnage, Cletus was freaked out about the possibility of dying.
Venom: On Trial
So there was a big Spider-Man/Scarlet Spider/Venom team-up called Planet of the Symbiotes that culminated in a 40-foot-tall Carnage, but there was never a specific Venom vs. Carnage moment, so I won’t go into it. Venom’s ’90s antihero run did have a storyline where Eddie was arrested and put on trial for all of his many crimes. Cletus Kasady was brought in as a star witness, which was an invitation for him to freak out and go on a killing rampage. I mean, seriously, guys. Come on. You should know better.
This story went all-in on Venom wrecking Carnage. Again, Spider-Man would interrupt and give Carnage a chance to turn things around. This time though, Venom decided to ride the wave by sneaking away while Spider-Man and Daredevil took on Carnage. Realizing that the two didn’t have a chance, Venom picked up a couple syringes filled with dopamine blocker and sprung into action. He smacked Carnage around, injected the blocker into his neck, and watched as the symbiote retracted into Cletus’ body.
Venom Triumphant
Howard Mackie wrote Spider-Man comics for a long while and he had an annoying tendency when it came to storytelling. He would come up with an interesting, if nonsensical, idea that would shake up the status quo, but instead of following up on that and using it to tell an actual story, he would just forget about it and move to the next idea that popped into his head. He was one of the main reasons why the Spider-Man Clone Saga was such a mess.
In the 10th issue of Peter Parker, Spider-Man, Venom broke into the prison where Carnage was being held. Despite the legion of heavily armed guards with flamethrowers and sonic guns, Venom killed them all so quickly that the artist didn’t even show it. Cletus, for some reason, figured Venom was trying to break him out of prison, but instead Venom was there to absorb the Carnage symbiote. Carnage barely put up a fight. Pieces of the symbiote were on him, but he didn’t fully transform or try to defend himself. Venom simply pulled the symbiote off of him and ate it, becoming stronger.
After this issue, there was barely any follow-up to this.
Venom vs. Carnage
This miniseries came out at a really weird time for those involved. Carnage was just a couple months away from being torn in half by the Sentry and being written out of comics for years. Venom was appearing in Marvel Knights Spider-Man where Eddie Brock got rid of the symbiote and it bounced around to different hosts until landing on Mac Gargan. Meanwhile there was a Venom ongoing that was more about a symbiote clone where Eddie Brock only appeared for a couple late issues.
In other words, in the Venom vs. Carnage miniseries by Peter Milligan and Clayton Crain, even the creative team had no idea who Venom’s host was supposed to be. Luckily, the story wasn’t about Venom or Carnage, but a new character who would quickly fall into obscurity anyway.
Venom and Carnage swung around New York City, giving the exposition. The Carnage symbiote was pregnant and Venom was explaining that there was nothing to do to stop the creature from going into labor. Venom was all about protecting the new spawn while Carnage wanted to destroy it, immediately. Carnage got the better of Venom by flinging him into the distance. Regardless, the explosive birth wore out Carnage so much that he could only plant the baby onto a nearby cop and escape to rest up.
When the two had a rematch, Venom was there to save the baby symbiote (Toxin) and its host (Pat Mulligan). As if getting revenge for that Carnage Unleashed story, Venom brought the fight to the subway and pushed Carnage into an oncoming train.
And… that’s really all the Venom vs. Carnage we get in Venom vs. Carnage! Once Venom sees that Toxin is a good guy and capable of kicking Carnage’s ass, he gets afraid of Toxin befriending Spider-Man and decides to team up with Carnage for once.
Carnage, USA
Carnage returned from his maiming at the hands of the Sentry, albeit without a bottom half. By then, a lot had happened with Venom. The symbiote was removed from Mac Gargan and joined with war hero Flash Thompson. Agent Venom went on to join the Secret Avengers.
Carnage, USA told the story of Cletus expanding his symbiote to overtake an entire town in the middle of nowhere. When various heroes went to oppose him, the Carnage symbiote ended up taking over Captain America, Wolverine, Hawkeye, and the Thing. When gaining a moment of clarity, Cap called in Agent Venom for help.
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In their first meeting, Agent Venom easily took down Carnage with some explosive projectiles that came with sonic shrapnel. Then when getting ready for the kill – say it with me everyone – Spider-Man got in his face and went, “No! Don’t kill!” Carnage recovered, and overwhelmed Venom with his army of Carnage’d heroes. Then another obscure symbiote hero, Scorn, popped in to run Venom and Carnage over with a bulldozer and bring them into a facility that would blast their symbiotes off the hosts.
While Cletus and Flash had a fight based around the novelty that both were legless, the Venom symbiote latched onto a gorilla and ran for its life against an entire zoo full of animals with the Carnage symbiote. After almost being taken down by a Carnage lion (Spider-Man with the save), the gorilla returned to Flash and gave him the power to bring Cletus into custody.
As for the town-wide Carnage symbiote, most of it was taken out by an airstrike.
Minimum Carnage
Following up on Agent Venom, he had his own team-up arc with Scarlet Spider (Kaine) with the fun dynamic of a Venom who doesn’t want to kill and a Spider-Man who does. The two chased Carnage into the Microverse, where Carnage was able to create an army of symbiote clones. While Agent Venom was able to decapitate Carnage, the villain had attained some level of power where his body is more overall fluid and animated. In this case, Carnage could just reattach his head with no problem.
Although Flash had sedated his own symbiote and lacked the monstrous advantage, he was able to wipe out a bunch of the clones by amplifying his own inner sorrow outward through the Venom symbiote. Strangely, that’s not the first time Venom was able to do that. What’s left of Carnage slinked away, cackling.
Carnage and the clones returned to Earth and Voltron’d themselves into a giant Carnage. As Carnage tried to devour Agent Venom, Venom shoved a sonic grenade down Carnage’s throat and let the blast do the rest, taking out the enlarged Carnage symbiote almost completely. In the aftermath, Scarlet Spider jabbed one of his claws through Cletus’ eye and lobotomized him.
Venomverse
Venomverse is about a series of Venom hosts from different realities coming together to fight beings called Poisons. Under normal circumstances, Poisons are harmless. If one of them makes physical contact with a symbiote and its host, it transforms them into a nigh-unbeatable crystal-like creature with the Poison in control. By this point, Eddie Brock was Venom again and joined with all sorts of random symbiote heroes to the point that he came off as just a regular dude.
With their back against the wall, Eddie came up with an idea. They brought in Carnage from an alternate universe as a ringer. At first, Carnage fought against the Venoms, but they were reluctant to fight back. Once he saw the Poisons and understood that the Venoms wanted him to kill an army of twisted superheroes, he gladly joined their ranks. He just let them know that once he was done with the Poisons, he’d kill them next.
He ended up being a huge help, especially since the Poisons had a hard time bonding to the Carnage symbiote. Carnage died in an explosion fighting Poisons alongside Poison Deadpool (who was able to bypass his Poison’s mental control).
There was a sequel to this called Venomized where the Poisons returned and tried to invade Earth. They kidnapped Cletus, forced him to bond to an alternate universe Venom, and then bonded that to a Poison. While he was referred to as “Carnage” at times, the Carnage symbiote was never involved, so I’m going to skip this one.
But where was the Carnage symbiote during all of this?
The Red Goblin
At one point, Norman Osborn became the host for Carnage to give us a climactic villain to finish off Dan Slott’s lengthy run on Amazing Spider-Man. Knowing that Spider-Man was out of his league, J. Jonah Jameson decided to fight fire with fire by calling up Eddie Brock and blackmailing him into aiding Spider-Man. This led to a brief fight of Spider-Man, Venom, and repulsor-wielding Mary Jane against the Red Goblin.
Venom and Red Goblin brawled for a bit, but Red Goblin appeared to be immune to the usual symbiote weaknesses, so only Venom took damage. While he got some hits in, Eddie was too exhausted to continue. Instead he offered the symbiote to Spider-Man to give him the extra boost. This brief team-up allowed the two vigilante enemies to finally bury their lengthy rivalry.
Absolute Carnage
Now we get to Donny Cates’ bonkers run on Venom. Cletus had been resurrected and turned back into Carnage via a bunch of cultists who worshipped Knull, God of Symbiotes. Carnage then started going around eating the spines of those who were once host to a symbiote, getting stronger by the meal. Dark Carnage first fought Venom in a subway and easily overpowered him. Still, Venom got the win by grabbing onto the third rail while holding onto Dark Carnage. It was enough to knock Carnage loopy while Venom could get away and seek out help.
Venom and Spider-Man sought out Norman Osborn (who believed himself to be Cletus Kasady after the Red Goblin episode) and were ambushed by an army of inmates possessed by Carnage symbiotes. Overwhelmed, the two heroes broke through a wall and swung off into the night.
Venom got involved in another big fight against an army of Carnages and could have killed Osborn, but instead chose to save a wounded Mac Gargan nearby and brought him to safety. The Venom symbiote wasn’t happy with this and later left Eddie for Bruce Banner, giving us a fight between Venom Hulk and Dark Carnage. This turned out to be a dire choice, as Dark Carnage tore into Hulk’s brain, caused him to shrink back to Banner, then ate his spine. Carnage was stronger than ever.
Meanwhile, mad scientist the Maker had a machine that took the “symbiote codex” stuff Carnage was looking for out of former hosts without the nasty “tearing out their spinal column” part. Eddie unleashed the codex collection onto himself, turning him into a more powerful version of Venom. As he took on Cletus one last time, Carnage made note that Venom was screwed no matter what. Either Carnage killed and ate Eddie’s son Dylan or Eddie killed Carnage, which would wake up Knull and drive him to Earth.
Venom summoned the Necrosword to cut through Carnage, destroying him once and for all. For a time, at least.
Prelude to Knull
Wouldn’t you know it, killing Dark Carnage caused Eddie to absorb the Carnage symbiote into himself. Soon he was separated from Venom and stuck on an island while being bonded against his will to the Carnage symbiote. Dylan was able to remotely control the Venom symbiote and transformed it into a giant Venom T-rex. Like it wasn’t even bonding onto a dinosaur or anything. It was just the size and shape of a tyrannosaurus just because.
Eddie and Dylan had a dreamlike meeting in their minds while Carnage Eddie chopped down at the Venom dino. Eventually, the power of familial love was enough to overpower the Carnage symbiote and blow it up. Eddie rejoined with the Venom symbiote, and a little piece of Carnage latched onto a nearby shark to swim off and fight another day.
Okay, then! Phew! Going by every Venom vs. Carnage fight, I’ve judged them so that there have been six draws, eight victories for Carnage, and nine victories for Venom.
Congratulations, black ooze. Here’s hoping your red offspring doesn’t turn the tide at the box office.
Venom: Let There Be Carnage will be released in theaters on Oct. 1.
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Suptober20 - Day 28 Hellscape
Fic Summary: Among Us Crossover AU where Dean is a crewmate headed to the Polus outpost on the frozen hellscape of Mars. But he may not make it there alive, because someone in their crew is an imposter that enjoys chopping humans into small pieces.
Dean opens the electrical panel in the navigation room, and reaches in to his toolbox for a voltage detector. He wills his hands to be steady, but he is a nervous wreck. Dean is worried about the success of this mission, the safety of his crewmates, and his chances of survival. He is on a supposedly routine mission to prepare the latest Mars colony for habitation, but his crewmates keep getting chopped into pieces. Out of the original ten person crew, only seven are still alive. The PA system crackles to life, "Dead body reported! Dead body reported!" Dean dashes to the cafeteria where the rest of his crewmates have gathered to discuss. "I saw Kelly standing over the dead body!" Kaia yells. "I was upset! Donatello had been cut in half. I'll try to remember to skip the tears after you get murdered," Kelly responds. "Kelly sounds pretty sus to me," Benny sneers. "Where was the body found?" Castiel asks. "In the reactor room," Kaia replies. "Okay, everyone listen up! Someone in this room is an imposter masquerading among us, and it falls on us to discover the truth and identify the cold-blooded killer before they can strike again," Kevin tells his crewmates. "Jeez, shouldn't we just turn around and head back to Earth," Dean speaks up. "No, we can handle this ourselves Dean. We can jettison the murderer into space, and then do our mission. Let’s keep it democratic, everyone will have a chance to vote for who they think the murderer is," Kevin speaks authoritatively, but Dean just shakes his head in disbelief. "I vote Kelly," Castiel says. "Well, I vote Castiel," Kelly says with icy disdain. "Kelly," Benny states. "Kelly," Kaia says. "Yeah, I think Kelly too." Kevin says. Everyone looks to Dean to cast his vote. "What? It sounds like you've already decided," Dean complains. "Everyone has to vote Dean." Kevin tells him.
**
"Okay, I vote Castiel," Dean says. Just something about Castiel seems a little bit off. Like he's playing at being human, but doesn't quite understand the rules. Of course, he could just be socially awkward, and if that is the case, then Dean feels pretty lousy of accusing him of murder. "It's decided then,” Kevin says matter of factly. “Kelly has been found guilty by the majority of her peers, so by the authority granted to me by the HostCorp you will be executed by ejection into the vacuum of space. May God have mercy on your soul." Kelly resists, but she is roughly pushed into the decompression chamber that provides ingress and egress for the spaceship. Dean watches her face stare back at them haughtily. Kevin opens the outer bay doors, and her body is sucked into the void of space. "Great, now that the murderer is gone. We all have tasks to do. Let's get them done so we can make safe landing on Mars," Kevin commands the crew. ~~ Maybe Kevin had been right after all, Dean thinks to himself. The ship had just landed safely on the Polus station on Mars. And after sending Kelly into space, there had been no more murders although there had been a couple close calls with damaged systems. For instance, the O2 system failed and they just managed to get it rebooted before they all died of oxygen deprivation. Then the reactor had nearly melted down, which would also have caused the catastrophic death of the entire crew. But the cursed crew managed to land at the outpost against all odds. "I'm going to report to HQ. Check your tablets for your tasks crewmates," Kevin tells everyone after they disembark the spaceship. Dean looks out at the frozen wasteland of Polus. The space station is on the northern pole of Mars, and it reminds him of the old expression of "when hell freezes over." He powers up his tablet, and pulls up his task list. One of the tasks catches his eye, "Monitor Tree." That sounds like an easy, short task to knock out first. And he is feeling sentimental about getting to see things from Earth like a tree and grass. Dean pulls up his map to find the O2 laboratory, so he can find his way around the unfamiliar outpost. Dean enters the O2 lab, and he breathes in deeply the fresh air from the vegetation. He walks up to the monitor panel and makes the necessary adjustments to bring the readings to the specified levels. He then turns to look at his next task, but he catches some unexpected motion out of the corner of his eye. "Uh, hey Cas. How did you just vent out of that hole? That seems like a pretty impossible thing to be able to do," Dean rambles nervously to the crewmember that just apparated into the room over a hole in the ground. Apparently, Kelly was innocent, because Dean feels certain that Castiel is not what he seems. And Dean is certain he is about to be the imposter’s next victim. "I didn't realize that task was so short," Castiel admits. "But that doesn't matter for you. I hope you had a good life Dean, and if you didn’t you can feel glad that you won’t ever have to suffer again. Your death will be swift and mostly painless, and I think you will find me more merciful than many members of your own species." "So you're not human?" Dean tries to delay the inevitable with banter while he looks around wildly for some kind of weapon. "No, I am an angel of the lord. You are just perceiving my vessel, Jimmy Novak," Castiel replies. "Oh, well your vessel is pretty hot," Dean hopes this imposter can be diverted by flirting. "No, the temperature of my vessel is 37 degrees Celsius or 98.7 degrees Fahrenheit. That is within normal range for a human." Castiel tells Dean. "I meant you're vessel is very attractive," Dean can't tell if the angel is messing with him or not. But he thinks anything is better than getting chopped into pieces, so he can play along if that gives him a chance to prolong his life. "I'm above mundane things like physical attraction, Dean," Castiel says. "I just like killing humans for sport, but Heaven usually notices, and then I get thrown in the dungeon to stew for a millenia or two. But Heaven doesn't seem to care what happens to humans outside of Earth." "That sounds very clever of you to figure out Cas," Dean tells Castiel. "Yes, I do like to think of myself as the cleverest angel of the garrison," Castiel puffs up with pride and nods in agreement with Dean. "Can I ask why kill humans for sport? Can't you take up frisbee golf or something else less homicidal?" Dean asks the imposter. "I was given the task of watching humanity a long, long time ago. And humans can be so boring. So I just randomly kill a bunch every now and then. There is no malice in my actions. I just consider humanity to be on the level of ants, but maybe lower because I actually have a fondness for insects." Castiel discloses to Dean. "That sounds very reasonable, Cas. But you know some humans can be the total opposite of boring," Dean says while considering his next move. Okay, Dean thinks, if movies have taught me anything, it’s that getting a villain to monologue usually gives the good guy a chance to win. If he can just get Castiel to ramble, he can probably escape alive and report Castiel to the crew or maybe even slay the imposter himself. "I suppose you want me to believe you are one of those non-boring humans," Castiel comments and tilts his head to one side considering Dean. "Yup! Today is your lucky day, Cas. Because I am the most non-boring human since the dawn of Creation." Dean sells his lie with confidence. He would have thought his life before was very boring, but how many humans have to outsmart a homicidal angel. Maybe he is more non-boring than he realized. "Okay, I'm waiting to be entertained." Castiel tells Dean. Shit, this guy just doesn't want to monologue, Dean thinks to himself. So Dean needs some way to entertain an angel before he becomes sliced and diced all over the O2 laboratory. He vaguely remembers a story about a lady that had to tell her captor 1,001 tales to avoid death. Maybe if he can tell enough stories he can make it off this Hell rock in one piece after all. "Have you ever heard the tale of the Killer Stuffed Dinosaur in Love?" Dean asks the imposter. "No, but I'll admit it does sound entertaining," Castiel relaxes and sits in the grass with his legs criss-crossed, and looks expectantly at Dean to start. Dean begins to weave his story, and keeps careful watch of Castiel. He vigilantly watches the angel for some sign of momentary distraction, so he can seize the chance to raise an alarm or make a run for it. But in the meantime, he remembers back to storytime with his mom. When he and his brother would sit up in their beds to listen to their mom tell fantastic stories about witches, vampires, ghouls, wendigos, demons, ghosts, werewolves, fairies, and magic. And his mom told them with such love and care that he never felt bored by them. On the contrary, they were warm, fluffy comforts when reality did the best to beat him down. If anything could save him now, he was hopeful it would be the love of his mother that would keep him safe from the homicidal monster waiting for him to fail. “Dead body reported!” the PA system crackles. “Umm... is there more than one of you on this outpost?” Dean asks Castiel. “No, but I did kill Benny before venting into the O2 lab,” Castiel confesses. “I am hoping I can rely on your discretion at the discussion.” “Uh, sure Cas,” Dean lies. Castiel disappears through the hole in the ground somehow. Dean walks over to the hole in the ground, but nothing magical happens to help him teleport through it. Dean decides lying to a homicidal angel is okay, because he is going to meet up with his crew and tell everyone Castiel is in fact the imposter. Dean is the last crewmate to join the discussion. “So there is only four of us left, Kaia was with me until we stumbled on Benny’s body. So the murderer must be Castiel or Dean,” Kevin declares. “Maybe he died of natural causes,” Castiel suggests. “Really? You think his body naturally got sliced to ribbons?” Kaia shouts. “Uh, it seems possible, even if it’s not probable.” Castiel says thoughtfully. “Guys, it was Castiel. He has been the imposter all along. He was going to kill me in the O2 laboratory,” Dean tells the crew. Castiel cocks an eyebrow at Dean, but says nothing in his own defense. “I don’t know Dean. I think the murderer would be eager to cast shade on other crew mates. How do we know we can trust you?” Kevin says. “I can’t believe you have been chopping up people Dean. What kind of a person does that!?!” Kaia shakes her head in disapproval. “Look! I’m telling you the truth. Castiel is an Angel of the Lord, and he is supposed to be watching humanity. But I guess he thinks watching humanity like a reality tv show is boring, so he likes to mix things up with murder sprees,” Dean tells them. “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, Dean,” Kevin says. “I vote Dean,” Kaia says. “I vote Castiel of course!” Dean tells the crew passionately. “I vote Dean,” Kevin says. “I vote Kevin,” Castiel tells the crew. “Dean, you have been found--”, Kevin begins, but is interrupted by getting murdered by Castiel. “Oh shit! Castiel was the imposter!” Kaia runs screaming out of the room. Dean is not sure what just happened. Did Castiel save him from death by space vacuum, or did his bloodthirsty tendencies just kick in? Dean wonders. Dean stumbles out of the room, and sees Castiel standing over the corpse of Kaia. “So, Cas... any reason in particular why you killed my crewmates?” Dean asks the angel. “They were going to execute you. They were not fit to be your judge and executioner,” Castiel says. “You bravely spoke the truth, even though I had threatened your life. It reminded me of the dinosaur, in your story, that bravely stood up to the menacing spider king to save the trans princess after she had been cursed into the shape of a frog. Although, I think the princess should have been able to save herself, a frog should be able to eat a spider.” “Well, it was a very large spider,” Dean laughs. It was kind of nice that the killer angel had in fact been paying attention to his fairy tale made up in desperation. “So, what happens now Castiel?” Dean asks the homicidal angel. “I don’t know. I had expected to have been ejected out of the space station by now, but the vacuum of space won’t kill me. There are very few things that will kill an angel,” Castiel muses. “I don’t suppose you will tell me about the things that can kill an angel,” Dean says doubtfully. “Stabbed in a vital area by an angel blade, attempting to exit a ring of holy fire, certain spells from a powerful enough book of witchcraft, a stronger cosmic being like leviathans, archangels, Death, God, Darkness, or the Cosmic Entity,” Castiel enumerates the means of his destruction. “Darn, it appears I left my leviathan in my other pants. I guess you win this round Castiel. Uh, thanks for saving me for last I guess. Do you think I will go to Heaven?” Dean asks. “My mother, she passed away, and she was such a kind person I’m sure she is in Heaven. Sometimes I feel like she is just behind me watching over me, and if I can just turn fast enough I will catch a glimpse of her.” “That’s a nice sentiment Dean,” Castiel says. “But I’m not able to predict where human souls will go when their physical body is dead. I am also not fit to be anyone’s judge. But I can check if your mother, Mary Winchester, is in Heaven.” Castiel disappears before Dean gets a chance to ask how the angel knew his mother’s name, but maybe that was just an angel thing. Dean heads to the maintenance shed to get a shovel. He wants to dig suitable graves for Kevin and Kaia. Paying his respects is the most he can do for them now. Dean is patting the soil flat on top of the graves after burying his crewmates, and he wonders if Castiel is ever planning on coming back or if he found more unsuspecting humans to murder. He decides to go back to the O2 lab and rest under the tree. The lab is comforting and fills his thoughts with childhood memories of climbing trees with Sammy in the woods and late nights playing manhunt with the neighbors. Castiel would definitely find his childhood version of manhunt boring, basically it was just hide and seek in the dark, but when you were a kid late nights outside just felt liberating. “You’re mother and father are in a shared Heaven, Dean,” Castiel reports. “Oh, hey Cas,” Dean looks up from where he was dozing by the roots. “Thanks for looking into it for me. I think I’m ready to be killed now. I know you can’t tell me where my soul will go, but I’m at peace with this being the end. I would have liked a longer life, but no one ever promised me life was fair. And I have had a really good life so far. Just try to look out for Sam Winchester if you can. Maybe I can call him one more time and warn him to stay out of space, so you don’t end up hunting him during one of your murder sprees. I’d rather he lived a long time and died an old man.” “That’s not necessary Dean,” Castiel says staring down at where Dean is still dozing. “I think I will give murder a break. I would have stopped earlier, but Kaia and Kevin presented a threat to your safety.” “Okay, Cas,” Dean says unsure how much he can trust the words of this cold-blooded angel. “I think it’s very nice of you to give up killing humans for a bit. Did I tell you my brother Sammy gave up eating meat? He’s a vegetarian. I think you would really like Sammy, because everyone likes him. He is the best man I have ever known.” “He sounds very impressive then,” Castiel agrees. “If you don’t feel like killing me, are we just going to keep hanging out together on Polus?” Dean asks. “I guess so,” Castiel nods. “I haven’t really thought things through.” “Okay, I’m really beat after everything today Cas. I need to get some sleep,” Dean says while stifling a yawn. “I’ll watch over you then,” Castiel says. “That is so random of you Cas,” Dean mumbles. “How did you just go from angel of death to guardian angel? I’m not complaining though, I like being alive. I definitely prefer being alive with guardian angel beside me to dead with killer angel beside me.” “Here Dean, I got you a pillow and blanket. I think these things make sleeping more comfortable for humans,” Castiel drops the mentioned objects where Dean is laying down. “Yeah, your thinking was right. Very comfortable for humans,” Dean mumbles as he wraps himself into a cocoon in the blanket. “Today was so random. If I wake up and you kill me tomorrow, no hard feelings okay Cas? Like I’m not going to pretend I’m something special and that a crazy, killer angel would be reformed after having one conversation with me.” “Okay, Dean that seems fair,” Castiel nods. Then Castiel sits in the grass besides Dean, and he watches over the human as he snores peacefully. Hanging out with Dean sounded like a nice change of pace for the killer angel. And he cast out his mind to pinpoint where Sam Winchester was on Earth. It sounded like the health and safety of Sam was important to Dean, so that made it important to Castiel, too.
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For the ask thing :3:
Top 5 animals? Top 5 fav/comfort movies? Top 5 fav cartoons/shows?
I’m honestly glad to know theres other people including you who actually like Pakku and his character :3 Yes he was a completely asshole at the start but he did change, it’s just that it was so subtle that not everyone saw it
Also random song associations with characters:
Fighter by Jack Stauber reminds me very well of Piandao, Pakku, and Jeong Jeong as their younger selves during the war.
Why do I associate Grace by Lewis Capaldi with Bumi? (the music video tho would give more context to why it might make sense)
Oh Klahoma by Jack Stauber reminds me of Piandao and his overall anxieties for his partners.
Consider some of these songs as sorta song recs? Idk but still :3
1. Giraffes!! the reason why their tongues look like That is cause of extra melanin and to prevent sunburn!!
2. Seals!! there are 33 different kinds of pinnipeds and there over 50 extinct pinnipeds
3. Dogs!! they can only see in shades of blue and yellow, so bright red roses look yellowish brown and lively green grass look dehydrated and dead
4. Crows!! a group of them are called a murder
5. Cows!! they’re actually colorblind, they can’t see red specifically, so male cows, bulls aren’t getting mad at the color, they’re getting angry at the movement
1. The Losers movie from 2010, it’s a action mystery movie about Clay and his team that are a part of an elite US Special Forces Unit and are approached by a mysterious woman to exact revenge on their handler, Max, who betrayed them and just,,,the characters, CHRIS EVANS, jake jensen and all of his kinda weird glory, THE ELEVATOR SCENE, also cougar!!
2. Captain America and The Winter Soldier movie, it’s a action movie, which makes me realize that a lot of my faves are prolly gonna be action something, but anyways, it’s about Steve Rogers, who now lives in the nation's capital as he tries to adjust to modern times. An attack on a S.H.I.E.L.D. colleague throws Rogers into a web of intrigue that places the whole world at risk. Joining forces with the Black Widow, Natasha Romanov, and a new ally, Sam Wilson, Steve struggles to expose an ever-widening conspiracy, but he and his team soon come up against an unexpected enemy. oh my god,,,just,,,the fight scenes, the running scene at the beginning of the movie, steve meeting sam that way, just everything!! this was also my introduction to marvel so in my mind no other marvel movie can live up to this (other than spiderman away from home)
3. Spiderman Far from Home, again, it’s a action movie, i’m not gonna explain this cause the post is getting long, but!! mj and peter!! just,,,all of their scenes!! also jake gyllenhaal!! the fight scenes!! the soundtrack!! everything about it is amazing!!
4. Thunderforce, again, i’m not gonna explain, it’s an action adventure and comedy movie (ofc it is look at the other 3 🙄 /s), the relationship between lydia and emily!! the relationship between lydia and emily’s daughter!! the humor!! the fight scenes!! the soundtrack!!,,,,just everything about is good despite the bad ratings
that’s more like a top 4 than a top 5 but that’s like,,,,all the movies i genuinely like and will rewatch if given the chance and for that where’s a honorable mention: Hamilton (the movie version on disney+ that came out i think nearly a year ago), the soundtrack is amazing, the characters are better, got some funny moments and is mostly historically accurate, like yeah angelica did forget her name cause at the time of her meeting alex ham, she was married to a man named john church (or something church idk) so her last name was church but she introduced herself to alexander as angelica schuyler, not angelica church, so in satisfied she was telling the truth about forgetting her own name, but in the same song she said that her father had no sons even though the real angelica had 3 brothers.
1. Avatar the last Airbender, ofc or else i would have a blog (mostly) centered around it and it’s sequel /s but fr though?? it’s such a good show!! zuko’s redemption arc, iroh’s redemption arc (even though his more subtle than zuko’s) , aang!! love him and his character so much, especially when he gets to be a sassy little shit, sokka and his shit humor and brains, katara, toph, hakoda and HIS shit humor, the fight scene with hakoda (he fights kinda like a waterbender, using his opponent’s momentum against them), bato and his lovely, lovely voice, piandao, aang going ‘how about he get on YOUR back and you can fly us to the south pole’ or something like that to sokka after he complained about appa not flying higher, the boiling rock episodes, hakoda apparently being a good dad but a shitty prison riot starter (love that for him), just!! atla is such a good ass show, im not changing my mind. also!! i like the way they introduced ozai, not showing his face but still presenting him as not only a shit dad, but a shit person as well, like up until book three, we only saw him like, the neck down and in like, a flashback or two (i don’t really remember how many flashbacks ozai was in actually cause it’s nearly been a full year since i last watched it) and that’s it, so it made seeing his face for the first time all the more better cause you was already like ‘what the hell does this shitbag look like’ and then you see him and now ur like ‘oh!! THATS what he looks like!!’
2. The Legend of Korra, again, ofc or else i wouldn’t have a blog (mostly) centered around it and it’s prequel, just,,,,korra’s arc from being hot headed to calm is fantastic but also sad considering the way she went from that to this, korra’s book 1 character!! for whatever reason i really like b1 korra, just,,her design, her hair style (even though she had it for nearly the entire series) just!!! book 1 korra <3, also the entirety of book 1!! just amon posing as a anti bender nonbender despite being a waterbender himself, the scene where tenzin and his kids nearly lost their bending, which would’ve meant that, if tenzin did lose his bending but his kids didn’t, that would’ve meant the strongest airbender would’ve been his 11 year old daughter, the gruesome way to end the season finale episode by doing a murder suicide which was dark as fuck for what?? a kids show??, also the villains in this show!! their good as hell!! the backstory of the red lotus and how and why they were created?? amon and his anti bending?? kuvira and her plan to basically rule the earth kingdom (idk i haven’t finished book 4), unalaq and his spiritual stuff and wanting to become a dark avatar and fusing with vaatu?? also!! the other disturbing scene of korra basically getting tortured near the end of book 3, i mean?? it deadass left her hella traumatized and unable to walk, again hella dark for a fucking kids show
3. The Walking Dead, even though i haven’t finished it or watched in like, 4-5 months, i just,,,the way the presented negan!! practically foreshadowing him the entirety of season 6!! him appearing at the very end of the season 6 finale and pretty much having an entire episode dedicated to him in the very beginning of season 7 (which is why some fans argue he was introduced in s7 not s6 cause of the fact that he didn’t show up until the very end of the s6 finale but had an entire episode with him in it in s7, while others say vice versa cause the very the first time we see him was in s6 not s7), the fact that the walking dead logo was getting progressively more and more decayed as the series go on?? the fact that the WALKERS (the zombies) are getting more and more decayed as the series go on?? dale’s death scene?? shane’s death scene?? negan’s relationship with rick’s daughter?? the fact that this show also has what?? 11, 12 seasons?? which reminds me that i’m still on season 9 of twd
4. Sabrina the Teenage Witch, just,,,salem and his sarcasm?? sabrina’s aunts?? sabrina herself?? just!! everyone is just so fucking funny in this show it’s unreal, specially salem!! a lot of my favorite scenes have salem in them, the ‘are you on a women’s chat room again?’ (or something like that) and salem saying ‘i like the attention’ in response, that one harvey and salem scene that i don’t know how to describe without turning this into a giant paragraph like the ones before this one
5. blue’s clues, it was my favorite childhood show and i love the reboot of it so much!! especially p for pride moment in that song i don’t remember the name of, blue themself!! steve leaving which was sad but getting an equally amazing host in the process?? amazing!! the scene where salt and pepper introduced their baby, paprika?? just,,,it’s such good show and i loved it when i was younger and i still love it now!!
#asks#moots#piandao was in what? two episodes?#but do i still love him? i do no doubt#oof i really need to catch up on twd#long post#this got long as shit oof
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What do you think Magnus and Alec’s kinks are?
okay so I've answered this before but last time i glossed over exhibitionism which is just.... criminal
i mean yeah i talk about it all the time but look Magnus likes being shown off and Alec likes showing him off thats just how it is. Alec having Magnus all dolled up and pretty wearing a collar, and Alec is just holding him by the leash, letting other people take it and play with Magnus for a bit if they want, letting him be teased and feel the thrill of being passed over like a toy for people to use, feeling so desired and relaxed knowing he can just get that pleasure and that Alec will make sure he's okay? excellent
or when Magnus is just. in pandemonium as he usually is, with his power outfits, slightly open shirt, cat eyes out, lounging in his throne, just looking so perfect and beautiful and powerful and strong (as he is!!) and even kind of dommy-like, but then Alec kisses him and takes him apart and he "ends up" (like obviously all of this was previously agreed on but you know) tied up and maybe gagged and fucked in front of everyone? and everyone can see how much he loves it, the way he stays still all excited and already squirming in pleasure while Alec ties him up, impatient ("is this too tight, love?" "I promise you, Alexander, it's perfect. please just come and fuck me" "hm, love it when you say please" "Alec" and hes all whiny 👌👌), the way he keens and moans when Alec pulls his hair, the way his back arches in pleasure when Alec dirty talks him and calls him his perfect little slut and tells him that everyone is getting off on watching him get fucked like he was meant to... mwaahhh inspired
and later they can see how he looks too, how his cat eyes are still on display, but now dazed with pleasure and love, unfocused as he floats in subspace; how his open shirt is now fully unbottoned to expose his pretty, hard tits and the hickeys and bite marks all the way up to his neck, how his perfectly done hair is all messy from being gripped and pulled and how it made him scream in pleasure, how he begged for it... hes just all messy and sloppy and wet and all that power has just been surrendered as he let himself be fucked how he loves..... fantastic
and Alec of course takes care of him and everyone can see how loved he is, how good he feels, how he slowly drifts back and looks all happy and satisfied, how much Alec respects him and how he's still the powerful, badass Magnus Bane that everyone respects..... ggghhhhh love that
or being fucked by other people as Alec watches (maybe blindfolded? so he doesn't know who's fucking him and that just makes it hotter, adds to the thrill, makes him get lost in that feeling of being pleasured and used...) or also being fucked roughly by someone in public, while Alec kisses him and plays with his tits, but... slow and tender, long deep kisses where Alec just takes him over completely, as his fingers circle around Magnus' nipples, making him shiver with sensitivity, all the while being fucked hard and fast by someone else and the contrast of these two kinds of intensity have Magnus just. boneless in his pleasure, whiny, super sensitive, completely lost to the sensation and uncaring of how loud he is, how much he screams, how incoherent he is.... his carefully crafted and tight persona gone as he just loses himself in it jdbdudbdi yeS
and i didnt explore cockwarming either and just god cockwarming. either with his mouth or with his pussy, both work really, Magnus on his knees with alec's cock in his mouth, eyes closed as he just focuses on his breathing and on being good for him, until soon he's just completely lost in the sensation and just floating in subspace? fuck does he love that. or with his pussy, Magnus being all whiny and sensitive (maybe after being edged??? 👀👀👀👀) as he tries to keep still and be good for Alec and not rock back on his cock so he can feel more of him, because he wants to be good for him? just surrendering all that control and enjoying the sharp unfocus of being denied and at his mercy.... udbdudndidndk fuck
also spanking which i did explore in detail in another ask but didnt add to the list and should be. also, on the topic of denial: Magnus does love getting his thighs and his tits fucked, feeling alec's cock but not where he wants and all the pleasure being for Alec, not him, and he's just whining and begging and trying to be good so alec will fuck his pussy? inspired
i think i didn't mention roleplaying either which. hmmm they do like roleplaying, esp if they get to be ridiculous about it and make a super elaborate backstory and characters (i do think hero Magnus being taken and fucked by villain Alec is a favorite of theirs. details vary and they get super lost in figuring out shit like costumes and the lair and backstory and shit, but when they finally get to it, it's just..... hot) because they are extra and dumb and bdsm is first and foremost about having fun anyway
also, not exactly kinks but alec's dirty talk and voice in general drive magnus crazy and magnus' moans and begging do the same to alec 👌👌 Magnus also loves alec's moaning because again LET DOMS MOAN and he loves knowing that Alec is as affected by this as he is, that Alec desires him and likes fucking him.... jdhdudndkdbshsbdj fuck
#ask#anonymous#smut#trans magnus smut#malec smut#sub magnus bane#dom alec lightwood#bottom magnus bane#top alec lightwood#q
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Fantastic Four Vol 1 #232
Fri May 01 2020 [12:04 AM] Wack'd: Opening with some really moody, atmospheric color work here from Glynis Wein
[12:05 AM] maxwellelvis: Now you might remember Diablo. Not a lot of folks wear masks that ostentatious. [12:05 AM] Wack'd: I mean. I remember the mask. [12:05 AM] Bocaj: I'm kind of angry that the issue title is back to the basics [12:05 AM] Bocaj: I want to slap it [12:05 AM] Wack'd: Same [12:06 AM] maxwellelvis: I'm still struck by the irony, because one thing you really can't accuse the Byrne era as a whole of is sticking to formuler. [12:06 AM] Aleph Null: i don’t want to slap the issue but i do want to slap john byrne [12:07 AM] Wack'd: Okay, so, like. I'm kind of immediately sold on Bryne, because: 1. making Diablo kind of a put-upon normy who makes potions in his apartment gives him some much needed personality, and 2. can you imagine being like "fuck yeah, my favorite badass villain, Diablo, he's gonna make so many potions and kick so much ass" and then this happens?
[12:08 AM] Bocaj: I can’t imagine such a person [12:08 AM] Wack'd: I mean sure but, like, the letters page seems to indicate they exist [12:08 AM] Bocaj: 😮 [12:10 AM] Wack'd: Not sure how I feel about our first look at the new Sue putting her at a salon, but I do like that she gets to be snarky.
[12:11 AM] maxwellelvis: I'm suddenly reminded of the Corman movie deciding to make Sue and Johnny kids when Reed and Ben and Victor were in college. That was... weird. [12:12 AM] Wack'd: ...i will remind you that sue being a minor in fantastic four #1 is canon [12:12 AM] maxwellelvis: *shudder* [12:12 AM] Umbramatic: welp [12:13 AM] Wack'd: Oh cool our first Sue fight scene has her immediately get her ass kicked. That's certainly back-to-basics for you.
[12:13 AM] Umbramatic: geez writers [12:14 AM] Wack'd: I like that our first look at Ben is him getting emotional! Yes! Good!
[12:14 AM] maxwellelvis: I can't remember if this play had any relation to the film, [12:15 AM] maxwellelvis: besides obviously the subject matter. [12:15 AM] Wack'd: Okay, so, in the interest of fairness, Ben immediately gets his ass kicked by a water monster who traps him inside itself where he starts to drown. [12:15 AM] Wack'd: So it might just be that this issue is gonna have everyone get their ass kicked upon introduction and it's just unintended Sue went first. [12:17 AM] maxwellelvis: With their elemental weaknesses, too [12:17 AM] Wack'd: This scene doesn't tell us a ton about Bryne's take on Johnny, but it is a pretty funny gag.
[12:18 AM] Wack'd: And it's nice to see at least one 70s character survives the Brynining. [12:18 AM] maxwellelvis: Didn't he come up with her? Or was that Roy? [12:18 AM] Wack'd: She's one of Roy's, yeah. [12:19 AM] maxwellelvis: In that case, if I had to guess, he was intrigued with her fear of fire and I guess nobody ever asked Roy what was up with that. [12:19 AM] Wack'd: Its been a good two and a half years since we saw her. [12:19 AM] maxwellelvis: Since that plot, and Frankie, were dropped. [12:20 AM] Wack'd: Reed's intro scene is nothing special and Bryne's take is the same as everyone else's. He's doing experiments and thinking technobabble to himself. [12:20 AM] Wack'd: I guess this is more Kirbyesque detail work than I remember recently.
[12:21 AM] Wack'd: Anyway he gets attacked by a fire monster and he escapes unscathed because of course he does. [12:22 AM] maxwellelvis: Should have sent an ice guy, Diablo. [12:22 AM] Bocaj: 😐 [12:22 AM] maxwellelvis: That's apparently the one thing Reed can't escape, if I remember the 2005 movie right. [12:22 AM] Bocaj: I guess this is back to basics after all [12:22 AM] Bocaj: And Reed ya basic [12:22 AM] Wack'd: Heh [12:22 AM] Wack'd: Anyway in his escape Reed glides like a plastic bag towards the park, where he finds Frankie and she explains the situation. [12:23 AM] maxwellelvis: I'd say to use the cold thing in your thing but, how many FF bad guys use cold as a gimmick? Outside of death traps and the like? [12:23 AM] Wack'd: None I can think of. [12:23 AM] maxwellelvis: So yeah, outside of death traps it probably wouldn't come up. [12:24 AM] maxwellelvis: Well, maybe if you adapted that one arctic adventure, as a reason why Sue has to go it alone there. [12:24 AM] Bocaj: 'Reed shouldn't be plastic man' letter writer intensifies [12:24 AM] Wack'd: I like that Bryne is smart enough to do different fire effects! That one annual where the artist didn't draw Johnny and Jim Hammond differently bothered me.
[12:25 AM] maxwellelvis: I blame the colorist for that. [12:25 AM] maxwellelvis: Toro looked different, at least, in the black and whites. [12:25 AM] maxwellelvis: Toro doesn't have the cross-hatching Johnny does. [12:26 AM] Wack'd: Oh hey! Sue does indeed get to be badass with no one's help. Also her new haircut is incredibly queer and I am here for it
[12:27 AM] Umbramatic: the truth come out: does sue like girls [12:27 AM] maxwellelvis: Hmm, this might be jumping the gun but the title and stock setup seems like it's more Byrne laying out the ways he's going to be different from the other runs. [12:27 AM] maxwellelvis: I.e. by taking this stock FF plot and tossing in a few tiny subversions. [12:27 AM] Wack'd: 'Sue shouldn't be Green Lantern' letter writer intensifies
[12:28 AM] maxwellelvis: Diablo's reduced to living in a tiny rent-controlled apartment, Reed isn't singlehandedly saving the day, Sue gets to do stuff again, etc. [12:30 AM] Wack'd: "There's a scuba store right there!" is some real job-for-Aquaman shit but, like, in reverse
[12:30 AM] Wack'd: Unfortunately the water monster realizes that he can force Ben to give up his oxygen if they just...try to drown someone else instead [12:31 AM] Wack'd: And so Ben makes the world's saddest heroic sacrifice [12:31 AM] Bocaj: Aw [12:31 AM] Umbramatic: don't they know that when submerged ben can breathe underwater for the rest of his life [12:32 AM] Wack'd: HAHAHAHHA SUE'S FORCE FIELDS STILL COME OUT OF HER FOREHEAD. YES.
[12:32 AM] Wack'd: I know this detail goes away at some point but it's sure hanging in there [12:32 AM] Bocaj: What a mighty BLOOSH [12:32 AM] Wack'd: 🥁 [12:33 AM] Bocaj: Thank ye [12:33 AM] Wack'd: Dangit Ben you turned it into a Sandman
[12:35 AM] Wack'd: Oh good another scene where Reed has to dictate to Sue how to use her powers. PICK A SIDE, BRYNE
[12:35 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Reed electrocutes the water monster [12:36 AM] Wack'd: Destroying it [12:36 AM] Umbramatic: Water is weak to Electric! [12:36 AM] maxwellelvis: I mean, it's kind of a step up that Sue's like, giving feedback to his plan [12:37 AM] maxwellelvis: mostly because Reed's idea hear sounded a tad suicidal but still... [12:37 AM] Wack'd: Reed determines that the key to defeating these things is to change their state of matter, so Ben uses a nearby pipe to turn the rock monster to mud. [12:37 AM] Wack'd: And Sue, uh, needs to be told what to do about the air monster. [12:37 AM] Umbramatic: by hitting it that hard? [12:37 AM] Umbramatic: ben i mean [12:37 AM] Wack'd: No it's attached to a water main [12:38 AM] Wack'd: Sue is instructed to compress the air monster until it turns to liquid which. I am not sure that's how that works but I don't know enough about air to dispute it [12:39 AM] Wack'd: Another old trope: Sue does a badass thing and then immediately suffers repercussions [12:39 AM] Wack'd: Usually it's passing out but this time it's just a headache [12:39 AM] Umbramatic: aw [12:40 AM] maxwellelvis: "Condensation commonly occurs when a vapor is cooled and/or compressed to its saturation limit when the molecular density in the gas phase reaches its maximal threshold. Vapor cooling and compressing equipment that collects condensed liquids is called a "condenser".” Checks out. Thanks, Wikipedia. [12:40 AM] Wack'd: I mean they're capable of planning and complex thought but, like, okay. This is basically just Superman's "I can murder robots" loophole.
[12:41 AM] Umbramatic: oh no [12:41 AM] Bocaj: Didn't one talk and express feelings [12:41 AM] Wack'd: You can't even argue that it's just Diablo acting through them because this happens
[12:43 AM] Bocaj: Reed isn't the guy you look to for ethics. He turned some alien invaders into cows and then let them get ground up into hamburgers [12:43 AM] Bocaj: He'll justify anything to anyone [12:43 AM] Wack'd: Anyway transmutation won't work on fire (will google that never probably) so...Johnny gets hotter than the elemental embodiment of flame and that kills it somehow [12:44 AM] Bocaj: I could see the argument that he burned up all the air before the other guy could, snuffing him [12:44 AM] Bocaj: Like how they put out oil well fires [12:44 AM] Bocaj: With explosions [12:44 AM] Wack'd: Alright [12:44 AM] Wack'd: Johnny's not a scientist so it probably didn't work for the reasons he thinks it worked anyway [12:45 AM] Wack'd: Anyway elementals = alchemy = Diablo. So deduces Reed. But how will they find him? [12:45 AM] maxwellelvis: Transmutation is another legitimate scientific term. [12:46 AM] Wack'd: I know. [12:46 AM] maxwellelvis: It's not the transformation of matter from one state to another, apparently, which is how they beat the other three elementals, but yeah, that won't work on a fire elemental because fire is not matter. [12:46 AM] Wack'd: I was saying I don't know if/why it won't work on fire [12:46 AM] Wack'd: There we go [12:46 AM] maxwellelvis: It's energy. [12:46 AM] Wack'd: Okay! The elementals are not dead, they just retreated back into Diablo's holding containers.
[12:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Dude, he's got the statuettes of the elemental monsters everyone saw them brawling with. [12:47 AM] Wack'd: Yes, that's what happens next
[12:48 AM] maxwellelvis: "Hello!" [12:51 AM] Bocaj: I like how Reed was ethically correct accidentally. That sure is a thing. [12:52 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, that's the end of the first story of the Bryne run. It was...okay. Obviously it fell into a few easy traps I didn't love. And of course I always hate when the plot relies on the villain wanting a grudge match when there's this much collateral damage involved. [12:53 AM] Wack'd: But there were some high points and I'm not pessimistic about the prospect of more. [12:53 AM] maxwellelvis: I liked how the elementals were defeated by actual, real-world science. [12:54 AM] maxwellelvis: Rather than the mangled misunderstandings and outright bunk Doug Moench was using. [12:54 AM] Wack'd: That was something Moench seemed real big on too. It's the sort of thing that's nice if you can get it but after ten straight issues of Moench trying to turn the book into an edutainment program I wasn't, like, thrilled. [12:54 AM] Wack'd: I think Moench's only big misstep was buying into quack neurology? The science in his other issues seemed sound enough [12:55 AM] Wack'd: Okay, also I guess there's probably not aliens inside black holes. [12:55 AM] maxwellelvis: I'm more thrilled because unlike Moench, Byrne got it right. Granted that's because it was much simpler concepts than what Moench was trying to deal in, but it did mean it was easier to utilize it in the plot without having to stand around while Reed explains everything. [12:55 AM] Wack'd: ...oh god why did he spend so much time on the science of stuff if he didn't know anything. Why did I read that [12:56 AM] Wack'd: But yeah okay I see your point
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Chapter 8: Babes in the Wood
In this last hurrah of explicit homages to animation of the past, the most obvious discussion point is Merrie Melodies and its ilk: Babes in the Wood is essentially a full-episode reference to the bouncing musical shorts of yore, where everything can sing’n’dance and the villain is a blustery bozo who’s defeated with a sight gag. If we expand to children’s entertainment in general, as we did with Greg’s Beatrix Potter episode, then The Wizard of Oz is our logical next step: the song welcoming him to Cloud City owes everything to Dorothy’s introduction to Munchkinland, complete with the fact that our hero has just entered a dream.
And look, there’s nothing wrong with talking about the obvious. But as we near the end, I think it’s a little more interesting to instead explore the very beginning. So let’s go back to a newspaper cartoonist in New York—the one who inspired fellow New York newspaper cartoonist John Randolph Bray to become an animator, which in turn led fellow New York newspaper cartoonist Max Fleischer to become an animator, because it turns out that just like the birth of superhero comics a few decades later, the birth of American animation hinged on print artists who dreamed big in the city that never sleeps.
A boy named Zenas was born in Michigan on September 26, 1871. Or maybe he was born there in 1869. Or maybe he was born in Canada in 1867. He said one thing, and a biographer said another, and census data says another, and I wasn’t there. It’s similarly unclear when or why he started going by his middle name, but by the time he took his first job at age 21 (or 19 or 17) as a billboard and poster artist in Chicago, he was calling himself Winsor McCay. They sure did know how to name ‘em in the 19th century.
McCay began his newspaper career as a freelancer, but moved to New York in 1903 to work for the New York Herald, where he wrote a variety of comics before hitting it big with Little Sammy Sneeze. McCay’s art was always brilliant, but his gag work was formulaic to a fault: the joke for Sammy Sneeze was always the same, he would sneeze and ruin everything right before the last panel. That devotion to formula would continue in his second big comic Dream of the Rarebit Fiend, where a fantastical events would occur for ever-changing characters before the lead woke up in the last panel, revealing it was a dream.
That second formula was the basis of McCay’s masterpiece. Already a successful cartoonist in the two short years since he’d moved to New York, his fame skyrocketed with Little Nemo in Slumberland, which used the same “wake up at the end” formula but with recurring characters and a running story. He toyed with the medium like none had before, playing with panel arrangement and innovating the portrayal of motion in comics, and his art skills only improved with this full-color strip. His success led to the vaudeville circuit, where he turned the act of drawing into a performance, and this combination of stage entertainment and his continuing comic work led him to seek new ways to dazzle the crowds.
By 1910, the earliest animated shorts had already started to emerge, and McCay was inspired by pioneers like James Stuart Blackton and Émile Cohl to try animating the characters of Little Nemo. Under Blackton’s direction, McCay singlehandedly drew around four thousand fully colored frames to produce his first animated cartoon, presented at the tail end of a filmed short about said cartoon in 1911. As mentioned, animated shorts were already a thing. But none of them looked anything like this. (If you’re concerned that there might be racist caricatures in it, don’t worry, there definitely are, McCay had a lot of strengths but overcoming garbage prejudices was not one of them).
The sheer quality of his work, continuing with the legendary Gertie the Dinosaur, directly led to the invention of the rotoscope as a means to mass-produce cartoons of similar finesse. The influence of Winsor McCay over animation as we know it is hard to overstate (and let’s stress again that this was his side gig, and he was just as influential over comic art): as crazy as it sounds, it’s safe to say that Over the Garden Wall would not exist if not for a story about the whimsical adventures of a little boy who traveled across a land of dreams from his bed.
“Where’s Greg, Wirt?”
Babes in the Wood is delightful and goofy and lighthearted exactly once.
In the same way our fourth-to-last episode mirrored our fourth, this third-to-last episode mirrors our third: Chapters 4 and 7 focus on Wirt, but 3 and 8 are Greg’s. It’s not simply a matter of who the main character is, but what these episodes are about: Greg’s love of fun clashing with his drive to help others. Both times he's spurred by the desire to help others to go off on his own, both times he gets distracted by whimsical wonders involving funny animals and physical humor, and both times he ends up deciding to help out anyway. But despite switching his goal from making the whole world a better place to just helping his brother, the stakes are actually far higher now, so the fun has to be that much more fun if we want the full horror of the ending to sink in.
There’s no tonal shift in the series that’s more devastating than Greg falling prey to the Beast after nearly ten minutes of goofiness in Cloud City. It turns a moment of welcome relief from the growing tension of Wirt’s despair into a dagger in the heart, and the knife is twisted when we learn in our next episode what the Unknown truly is.
That despair is evident well before Wirt explicitly gives up. We get our second opening in a row featuring Beatrice in a hopeless search, and things aren’t much better for the boys. All sense of progression from the first episode feels lost, with Wirt reverting to mumbling poetry and Greg reverting to Rock Facts. Their boat is an outhouse and Greg uses a guitar as an oar, because (if you’ll pardon my French) they’re up shit creek without a paddle. When they land, Greg’s victorious bugle is a ridiculous sign of hope, but he soon drops it in the same way he abandons the guitar: in Schooltown Follies he takes instruments to help others, but this time he loses them.
Wirt’s frustration with Greg threatened to boil over in The Ringing of the Bell, only to be cooled when the Woodsman interrupts them. This time there’s no such interruption, so after Greg’s total failure to read the room gets to be too much, his brother finally snaps. It crucially isn’t entirely unjustified, as Greg’s antics might be funny to us but have not been appreciated by Wirt, and despite Greg’s age excusing his lack of emotional intelligence, it’s still gotta be frustrating for a teen to deal with that behavior nonstop. And Wirt’s “tirade” reflects his depression, because he doesn’t even seem that angry: he doesn’t shout or rave, he’s just openly irritated as he argues that they’ll be lost forever. This is apathy and fatigue, because he’s lost the energy to be furious.
But the most chilling part of the exchange isn’t Wirt cruelly blaming Greg for their mess, or abandoning their search. It’s when, after Wirt asks if they can give up, Greg responds with a chipper “You can do anything if you set your mind to it!”, a sentiment that the Beast will fiendishly repeat verbatim while tricking Greg. It’s such a generic positive expression that Greg hangs a lampshade on it, but it shows the darker side of the power our minds have over our well-being. Sure, it’s a great lesson that focus and dedication can help us achieve our dreams, but if we use that focus and dedication towards self-destructive behavior, there’s no limit to how badly we can hurt ourselves.
After a goofy sort of prayer (incorporating lines from the classic Trick or Treat poem, which will become super relevant an episode from now), Greg is whisked away by so-creepy-it’s-funny cherubim to the score of a so-overwrought-it’s-funny song. His flight aboard the bed/cart pulled by a donkey across the sky feels legitimately magical, but we soon switch to the surreal world of 1930′s songs and physics.
Cloud City is such a stark contrast to the tone of the episode so far that it instantly feels delightful, and such a stark contrast to the tone of the entire series that it lends a special sort of wonder to Greg’s dreamland. References to old cartoons are everywhere in Over the Garden Wall, and before we delve into the tension of our last two episodes, we get one last gigantic celebration of the past with a sequence straight from the golden age of animation.
The transition alone is enough to make this scene hilarious, but the actual jokes help quite a bit: Greg’s growing impatience with the numerous Wizard of Oz reception committees is my favorite gag of the night. Everything is cute to the point of being cloying, including our three angels that look and sound an awful lot like Greg, and the parade that he leads seems like such a fun and peaceful affair after so much time wandering alone. It’s easy to get as roped into it as Greg when we first watch it. But considering the events of our next episode, the scene destroys me every time I rewatch it, because there’s a very specific place Greg is being welcomed to.
Babes in the Wood gets a lot less cute when it becomes clear that it’s a welcoming committee for a dying child. Greg and Wirt are drowning, and this is the episode where the shock wears off and the cold sets in and the younger and weaker of the two looks into a bright light. Greg’s near-death experience is hammered in when we get to The Unknown, but for now it’s being rationalized in a way that brings him comfort.
The cold is Greg’s enemy, and the same childish tone is used to show that he’s willing to fight for his life: thus, the North Wind segment is ironically more hopeful to me than the parade’s warm welcome of death. This third song sounds enough like a Randy Newman number that I’m honestly still convinced it’s an uncredited Randy Newman performance, and it jolts us back to reality for a moment as we see the effect this bitter wind has on our babes in the woods. The boys are starting to freeze, and we again see Beatrice searching for them, getting so close before an owl that looks remarkably like the one we saw in our first episode scares her off. The episode doesn’t want to lose us completely to the sky, and this grounding helps keep the stakes clear as we complete Greg’s dream.
The Popeye-esque battle between Greg and Ol’ Windbag is a hoot, between the latter’s grumbling anger and the former rolling up his sleeve to get back into the brawl. Its conclusion is hidden from us, so we have no idea how Greg gets him in a bottle, but that fits right in with the weird logic of this throwback and allows us to meet the Queen of the Clouds.
I ought to bring up the theory that everything we see here is an illusion created by the Beast, even though I don’t really subscribe to it myself. The most obvious “hint” is that this sequence directly leads to Greg deciding to join the Beast with an off-screen promise, but we also have the old man in the welcoming march wearing an outfit just like Wirt’s and holding a lantern, perhaps a reference to the Beast’s intended fate for Greg’s brother. Plus there’s lines in the songs that seem like they’re luring Greg in, especially the assurance that the wonders of Cloud City “ain’t gonna lie,” which sounds a lot like what a liar would say. Both the Queen of the Clouds and the Beast pointedly call him Gregory instead of Greg, but so does Old Lady Mrs. Daniels (and Wirt when introducing him in Songs of the Dark Lantern).
While it’s a neat enough idea, I think the Queen of Clouds is pretty clearly on Greg’s side for real: she seems upset at his fate in a way that doesn’t make much sense for an ally of the Beast. I also think it’s more meaningful for Greg to truly have the choice between happiness and responsibility, between the possible peace of rest and the definite struggle of life, and for him to choose the latter right as his brother is giving in. But I’ve got no beef with folks whose interpretation of the show is enhanced by this theory, so believe what you want to believe about this ambiguous situation.
Either way, we cut back to Wirt instead of Greg when the dream ends, and he’s still annoyed as he’s trying to sleep. Greg’s strange new seriousness is already cause for concern, and asking Wirt to take care of the frog is even more alarming, but even that doesn’t compare the horror of realizing where he’s actually going. Or rather, with whom.
This is another reason why I think the Queen is an ally: while it’s obviously dangerous for Greg to go with the Beast, that’s what it takes for Wirt to snap out of his funk. It’s a hell of a gambit, but as soon as he starts to awaken, he’s immediately concerned for Greg’s safety despite whatever anger or resentment he had, sparing no time or thought to the branches creeping over him as he runs after his brother.
The quiet distortion as we follow his frantic search is soon met by the Beast’s song, but even as he blames himself for Greg’s plight, Wirt is no longer content to wallow in despair. Because it turns out that these brothers are more similar than they seem, and neither is truly capable of letting the other suffer. In the folk tale for which this episode is named, two children abandoned in the woods eventually die and are covered in leaves by small birds (with some versions seeing them enter heaven), but as we’ll see in our next episode, this isn’t a folk tale.
The thrumming noise intensifies as Wirt slips on the ice, then we add visual distortion as he plummets into the freezing water. He’s saved, but this isn’t water that sees him reborn: the distortion finally breaks as Beatrice asks the episode’s terrible question, and we’re left in the cold.
Every even-numbered episode of Over the Garden Wall, perhaps by virtue of airing twice per night, ends in a mood-setting cliffhanger that grows tenser and tenser with every iteration (or at least it does until the end). First we got a leaf symbolically caught in a fence, then the Beast’s introduction, then the fallout of Adelaide, and now the capture of Greg. Getting trapped has always been a threat for these roving heroes, but the greatest threat of all, that of Wirt trapping himself, has been handled. Things look bleaker than they ever have, but despite the glee of Greg’s dream contrasting with the harshness of reality, Wirt’s ability to climb out of the pit of despair keeps hope alive: even in absence, Greg’s influence looms large.
Rock Factsheet
Dinosaurs had big ears, but everyone forgot because dinosaur ears don’t have bones.
Where have we come, and where shall we end?
Most of these were mentioned in the main analysis, but it’s great that we hear Wirt’s description of Into the Unknown right before the episode itself shows us what happened.
#babes in the wood#over the garden wall#otgw#steven universally#winsor mccay#little nemo in slumberland
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