#Still in STEM though
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remember how I said I was going to change my major. Yeah....
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@mcyt-yuri-week Day 5, Rose/Thorns I never stop thinking about SL episode 8 never ever
#gempearl#pearlgem#shinyduo#shiny duo#trafficshipping#I tried to word it a few different ways but I feel like its still so easy to interpret this as negative but noo its positive#because the thorns here are referencing the scarlet persona that Pearl's embraced. being left with nothing but it - the thorns#But it's not that Gem likes her just for her scarlet persona. She likes her for her. Pearl's not just thorns#Gem doesnt really care about the “thorns” or the petalless rose stem. she cares about Pearl. She thinks Pearl's cool (thumbs up emoji)#Pearl changes into her scarlet fit like she has many times before with the purpose of scaring people & leaning into her feared witch thing#but Gem's just like “omg slayyy” and its the best. And to Pearl it's like whoag#Gem never saw how she changed. Never saw her be ostracized and the aftermath#But she thought that the Pearl she did see in SL was cool and so easily accepted her when Pearl herself though herself so unacceptable#she got love from the Mounders and BigB and that warms my heart but Gem being a newcomer immediately embracing Pearl is just#it hits different#whoa jimbo way too many tags hghghgh#mcytyuriweekvalentines#at first I thought about smth like “where the others saw thorns you saw a rose” but I thought it was more fitting this way#I guess you guys be the judge of that haha idk what Im saying#tubby art
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wanna see the smallest frog i’ve ever found?
Feast thine eyes upon him!!
(Crinia signifera metamorph)
#i only saw him cos there was a large ant next to him and i saw the ant#this one only just became a frog#still though the adults are very small#tiny#frog#herpetology#science#zoology#amphibia#very cute#very important#like all frogs#he is likely to commit crimes#particularly arson#metamorphosis#biology#women in stem
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Thinking about step 9 and the whole concept of forgiveness of one’s self and others and it bringing healing and how bobby and Eddie have been paralleled a fair amount and the idea that Eddie started this process back at the end of s5 with his forgiveness and acceptance of his father but how he hasn’t yet gone anywhere near his mother and their relationship .
How his catholic guilt storyline seems more likely to play on his reltionship with his mother than his father (if his father wasn’t around that much it would’ve been Helena taking him to church etc each week) so the idea of an Eddie - Helena storyline that plays on catholic guilt and potentially his queerness in relation to that has me chewing on glass - it could be so epically good
#I’ve always viewed Helena as the biggest issue in Eddie’s relationship with his parents - Ramon has always - to me a least always seemed to#just go along with what Helena wants or dictates#it made sense with how his trauma ptsd army related arc played out that it was Ramon who was the centre of that#now though - catholic guilt - possibly playing into his queerness and suppression of that queerness#to keep some kind of reltionship with his mother - who only seems to view him through a lens of failure#leading him down a road where he wasn’t able to be his true self - it would be so powerful#there is so much potential there#eddie saying his mother wasn’t an issue in s6 - was such a choice and so pointed that they have to be wanting to explore that#so many aspects of who Eddie is and why he is the way he is - his want to nest but not being able to with women - stems from his mommy#issues and the fact he’s been denying they exist#I will eat it up - it would be the right kind of angst for the show and Ryan would deliver#plus the way it parallels with Bobby and his relationship with Catholicism would be fascinating#not to mention the whole Eddie not having a relationship with the faith he was brought up in only to start dating someone who is a literal#embodiment of that faith - and female - as a symbol of his needing to explore and reconcile the actual reasons for his faith lapsing- become#could not be queer and Latino and catholic when Eddie was growing up - it wasn’t an option - so if you step away from the faith that’s#denying a fundamental aspect of who you are#even if you still can’t act upon it - it is easier to keep that part of you concealed#911 spoilers#911 Thinky thoughts#eddie diaz#I need this arc to be a thing so badly#911 abc
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the original bullshit brothers. in a way
#they r still sooooooooooooo romance dawn btw love when the three of them share literally any screen time#nami is so stem girl sometimes though she basically spent her timeskip getting a phd#one piece#romance dawn trio#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#one piece nami
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I'd really like to see a happy (beautiful) moment in S3 where Wille and Simon are hanging out and there's lovely, mesmerizing laughter. Maybe they're teasing each other while watching a movie, while trying to study, maybe even a dinner date. Maybe before the situation escalates to the frenzied need to feel each other, make the other feel cherished.. boisterous laughter! Like golden morning scene, like lake scene but just a bit more please. That would be lovely, wouldn't it?
#young royals#wilhem x simon#i know there's still a lot to go through for our boys but a couple moments like this would be nice.. 😊#it is YR though so 😅 lol#this stemmed from watching Omar bust out with his endearing laugh in an interview.. 🙂#forever my show ❤#silly thoughts#oldies but goodies
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“Peter Lukas gets sent back to the regency era” “Jonathan Sims gets sent back to the regency era” valid points valid points but i raise you
Tim Stoker gets sent back to the regency era
#Timelias#guys c’mon it would be sooo fun#Tim would probably *hate* Elias. Maybe try to take the circus down sooner since#the Grimaldi was first like a thing in the very early 1800s so it could be possible for Tim to just kill Nikola on sight#And I bet Jonah would be so fascinated by him. Like oh my god this man 1) is probably from the future 2) Is HOT AS FUCK 3) has sooo much#knowledge about the fears and FOUR) Can apparently kill the things?? and is confident while doing so??#Jonah would love him sm#Also while I don’t think Jon or Peter could fix him I firmly believe that Tim 100% could#Like I’m pretty sure it was actually tweeted once that Tim could’ve redeemed Elias by fucking him nasty#but fr though I do think Tim would actually stop him from becoming as bad as he did because while Jon is passive in the voyeuristic sense an#d also and avatar and peter just couldn’t care less about stopping bad things Tim is wholey human and still dedicating himself to taking#action against the fears and *succeeding* and since I think a lot of Jonah magnus’s less than ideal actions stemmed from his feelings of#helplessness in a world out to get him I think that would be a great anchor for him.#Also I’m just super soft for any kind of Timelias sooo <333#Elias Bouchard#Jonah Magnus#TMA#Tim Stoker#oh also Tim was canonically fascinated by Robert Smirke so he’d probably have some knowledge about the 1700-1800s through osmosis gotten#while researching#the magnus archives
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wholeheartedly and with as much gentleness as possible, i truly think there needs to be more discussion about downpour in the community as it is now. for a variety of reasons.
#not main tagging this right now but#some tag babbling. like#some of yall are unnecessarily cruel about downpour. seriously.#you don't have to like it but you can also stand not to tear down someone's work like this#if every word out of your mouth is just about how much you hate downpour. why are you still here?#and i mean that genuinely. it's unpleasant for you and for everyone else. and i say this as someone who still prefers vanilla's lore#at the same time i think it's a real issue where some people take downpour as gospel and assume things about other people's creative choice#even though downpour is a DLC and it's hard to make certain claims about canonicity because of that#it has been publicly acknowledged as being an official AU. multiple times. by the MSC devs themselves#downpour is a fan made passion project that was worked on for years and years before it got DLC status#it was never meant to be scrutinized in the way it is now. i think it's more appropriate to regard it as like#a really popular fanfic most of the fanbase has read#i just feel like. a lot of the community conflicts i've seen stem from downpour's messy existence as a DLC that was originally a mod#and i think it's valuable to have community discussions about that. but also this is tumblr. so. i'm probably asking for too much
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"[Elizabeth Woodville's] piety as queen seems to have been broadly conventional for a fifteenth-century royal, encompassing pilgrimages, membership of various fraternities, a particular devotion to her name saint, notable generosity to the Carthusians, and the foundation of a chantry at Westminster after her son was born there. ['On other occasions she supported planned religious foundations in London, […] made generous gifts to Eton College, and petitioned the pope to extend the circumstances in which indulgences could be acquired by observing the feast of the Visitation']. One possible indicator of a more personal, and more sophisticated, thread in her piety is a book of Hours of the Guardian Angel which Sutton and Visser-Fuchs have argued was commissioned for her, very possibly at her request."
-J.L. Laynesmith, "Elizabeth Woodville: The Knight's Widow", "Later Plantagenet and Wars of the Roses Consorts: Power, Influence, Dynasty"
#historicwomendaily#elizabeth woodville#my post#friendly reminder that there's nothing indicating that Elizabeth was exceptionally pious or that her piety was 'beyond purely conventional'#(something first claimed by Anne Crawford who simultaneously claimed that Elizabeth was 'grasping and totally lacking in scruple' so...)#EW's piety as queen may have stood out compared to former 15th century predecessors and definitely stood out compared to her husband#but her actions in themselves were not especially novel or 'beyond normal' and by themselves don't indicate unusual piety on her part#As Laynesmith's more recent research observes they seem to have been 'broadly conventional'#A conclusion arrived at Derek Neal as well who also points out that in general queens and elite noblewomen simply had wider means#of 'visible material expression of [their] personal devotion' - and also emphasizes how we should look at their wider circumstances#to understand their actions (eg: the death of Elizabeth's son George in 1479 as a motivating factor)#It's nice that we know a bit about Elizabeth's more personal piety - for eg she seems to have developed an attachment to Westminster Abbey#It's possible her (outward) piety increased across her queenship - she undertook most of her religious projects in later years#But again - none of them indicate the *level* of her piety (ie: they don't indicate that she was beyond conventionally pious)#By 1475 it seems that contemporaries identified Cecily Neville as the most personally devout from the Yorkist family#(though Elizabeth and even Cecily's sons were far greater patrons)#I think people also assume this because of her retirement to Westminster post 1485#which doesn't work because 1) we don't actually know when she retired? as Laynesmith says there is no actual evidence for the traditional#date of 12 February 1487#2) she had very secular reasons for retiring (grief over the death of her children? her lack of dower lands or estates which most other#widows had? her options were very limited; choosing to reside in the abbey is not particularly surprising. it's a massive and unneeded jump#to claim that it was motivated solely by piety (especially because it wasn't a complete 'retirement' in the way people assume it was)#I think historians have a habit of using her piety as a GOTCHA!' point against her vilification - which is a flawed and stupid argument#Elizabeth could be the most pious individual in the world and still be the pantomime villain Ricardians/Yorkists claim she was#They're not mutually exclusive; this line of thinking is useless#I think this also stems from the fact that we simply know very little about Elizabeth as an individual (ie: her hobbies/interests)#certainly far less than we do for other prominent women Margaret of Anjou; Elizabeth of York;; Cecily Neville or Margaret Beaufort#and I think rather than emphasizing that gap of knowledge her historians merely try to fill it up with 'she was pious!'#which is ... an incredibly lackluster take. I think it's better to just acknowledge that we don't know much about this historical figure#ie: I do wish that her piety and patronage was emphasized more yes. but it shouldn't flip too far to the other side either.
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welcome to a "I made these but never made another image to go with it so it's been left unposted" post
#tf2#tf2 spy#sfm#source filmmaker#my stuff#these are all kinda stemming from thinking about the reed fields still though#team fortress 2
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hii hiii is it alright if I request something with kotoko and haruka?(platonic ofc) their character foils drive me insane with all the weak stuff authngghn icant be normal about them
Oooh thank you so much for the request! I realized that these two actually have one of the smallest windows to talk easily, given Haruka's nervousness and Kotoko's T2 changes. They have such interesting approaches to strength/weakness, and I hope I could capture it a bit here! This takes place immediately following Kotoko's bday timeline after Harrow's release:
“I’ll accept those birthday wishes…” Kotoko gave him a wave over her shoulder as she returned to making her bed.
She shook her head in awe. It was rather impressive how quickly the boy had changed after his verdict. The others had more subtle differences, but he was someone entirely new. She could rest easy, at least, knowing that her verdict wouldn’t change her much. For as long as she could remember, she’d been like this. She knew where she stood, and neither guilty nor innocent verdict would affect that. This verdict was really only an indicator on whether the warden could be trusted or not.
Her body tensed up when she turned back around, startled by Haruka lingering silently in the doorway. She decided against chastising him for scaring her half to death. Still, she couldn’t keep the bite from her voice as she asked, “did you need something else?”
“Ah… I just…” He twisted his hands together. “I had a question.”
He fell silent, but Kotoko could tell he was chewing on his next words. She waited.
“H-how do you do it? All the time? You’re older and stronger and braver and I-I just don’t know how.”
“Give yourself some credit. I’m not that much older, or stronger. I only have, what -- two, three years on you? And you did very well in the arm wrestling tournament the other day.”
She wasn’t being patronizing. For someone so sheltered, Haruka could do some damage. He stood a few inches taller than her. The others had taken the arm wrestling as a little game, but Kotoko had used the event to measure up her fellow prisoners. After his close match with Mikoto, she had made a mental note to take him seriously.
“No…” his expression twitched, getting frustrated with the misunderstanding. “Not muscles. I mean… you don’t have someone like Muu. You don’t need someone next to you all the time. But you still talk with everyone… and it looks easy. All the time. You always know what to say, and what to do. You never look scared. You never cry.”
Kotoko’s smile softened. She wasn’t the prideful type, but his words gave her a wave of accomplishment. She certainly was scared. She did cry. But she wasn’t about to show a single crack in her resolve in front of anyone here. Haruka had given her the greatest of compliments by confirming her success.
“Ah, you mean strength of spirit. Well, that doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It comes with my purpose, with my virtues.”
“Virtues…?”
“I see the injustice around me, and want to protect the innocent. When I see how awful the world can be, when I see the monsters that are hurting those who are weak, I can’t help myself.” She clenched her fist. “The power to do so just comes to me.”
“Oh…” Haruka looked down at his palms.
Her heart sank, realizing he didn’t quite understand. It was a shame that not all of humanity could be as righteous as her. That heroic drive had always come so naturally to her; she wasn’t sure she could put it into words to explain to others.
Haruka’s open hands were trembling. “Um. Is there any other way?”
“Hm?”
“All my life… I only cause pain to everyone.” His worry gradually turned to desperation.” I hurt everyone who gets close to me. Especially things that are small and weak. My whole life, I’ve been nothing but a… a curse. So… is there another way? Please. I want to be better. I want to be strong! I want to be like you! Tell me!”
He stepped forward, pleading. Kotoko stepped back.
His blue eyes widened at her sudden shift into defense. “Ah! I. I’m sorry. I’m-I’m sorry. It’s your birthday. You should be… Have a g-good day.”
“Wait.” Kotoko stopped him before he could flee. She was aware of the massive gap between them, the vastly different backgrounds they came from. Still, she offered the same advice that had helped her in her toughest of days.
“Don’t worry so much about others’ strength. The quickest way to burn yourself out is getting overwhelmed with the power that’s all around you. Once you start putting all your focus toward honing your own skills and strengths, you’ll realize how much you’re truly capable of. You don’t need anyone else. You’ll realize that you are enough.”
“I… am enough…?”
She placed a hand firmly on his shoulder.
“So, no need to get all worked up now, okay?”
“O-okay. I’ll do my best.” He stiffened, trying to appear worthy of her words.
She let out a bitter laugh. “I told the others not to do anything for my birthday, but I don’t think they paid me any mind.” Kotoko still couldn’t fathom how they were so friendly with each other given the situation. “Let’s go see if there’s some cake or something.”
#milgram#kotoko yuzuhira#haruka sakurai#thank you so much! this one was super interesting to write 👀#the thing is even though they dont have any direct problem between them they would still have a hard time communicating#but once they DO communicate there would so much they could learn from/help each other with!!!#this is leaning into my theory that kotokos murder (like harukas) was a rightful emotion that spiraled out of control#it really puts it into perspective how young kotoko is when you remember shes not too much older than haruka#and theyre both susceptible to strong emotions that stem from feeling weak int he face of the big scary world#but kotokos sees her as some blessing of power to serve her heroic thoughts and haruka sees his as a curse#ty to my pals who helped me find the exact spot in the timeline i was looking for 🙏#although kotoko doesnt believe she can change that easily she 100% undergoes the exact type of dramatic change as the others#once again referencing the arm wrestling info from yamanaka#between that and the fact that strangulation actually takes a fair amount of power#i just think its very good to remember that haruka is so physically strong#also something something kids looking up and wanting to be like kotoko and her complex emotions on that....#these two are sooooo interesting AH#drabbles
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ChatGPT is dishonorable to me and my morals, if anyone sees me ever mention using it for anything, I NEED you to shoot me point blank.
#my posts#“just use ChatGPT to write your essay!” i would legitimately rather die#i would kill myself rather#than use AI or LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE to cheat#this stems from my lying issue#yes it makes me physically sick#i mean like#you guys can still cheat or whatever#it's just a personal thing for me#cause idc if you wanna do that like go ahead be my guest i will lend you my notes though
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i love how rodney keeps calling john "kirk" when hes very clearly tom paris
#thats still not an accurate comparison in the way rodney means though#because while tom goes after women john just like. happens to be flirted with.#and he waffles between being confused and actively disliking it#stargate#stargate atlantis#john sheppard#star trek voyager#tom paris#mushroom rambles#but like the comparison is there bc both tom and john were 'disgraced' from the military#and found a home on an expedition out of reach from earth and everything they knew#and would both kill and die for their new family#because its the first time they felt something like thay#and they both have daddy issues stemming from failure to meet expectations and both play dumb to fit in#but are brilliant pilots with a cheeky sense of humour who fell in love with a hotheaded and even more brilliant engineer#holy shit they are Literally The Same Character
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something about finding the people who sit through your info dumps with joy on their face and enthusiasm for your passions. something about finding the people who info dump right back at you because they know you love hearing about their passions. something about finding the people who manage to sum up your being in one niche, oddly specific sentence that lives in your mind rent free for the rest of time. something about finding the people who not only accept you for who you are but embrace you for who you are. who not only tolerate your quirks and differences but love and cherish them.
#i’m in my feels today if you couldn’t tell#just thinking about one friend in particular who i don’t get to see in person nearly enough but i text all the time#idk it’s the little things#the way we send each other videos of ourselves explaining whatever we’re learning about right now#the way we don’t write it in a long message because the emotion and vibes don’t translate properly#the way he’s told me that the way i dress is so gender nonconforming in his eyes#how even though i’m afab and i wear glittery makeup and crop tops and have pink hair#i still look so queer and so gnc and so Not Girl in his eyes#how that felt so validating#how i could feel the genuine love in his words#how he told me once that i’m ‘not a person with lore but rather a person with a schtick’#and how he explained to me what my schtick was and how accurate it was#how he told me he can’t wait for me to get my degree(s) and be an openly queer person in stem#how he can’t wait for me to defend my thesis sometime in the future and be wearing the brightest makeup and the biggest earrings#and the tallest boots#how he loves that i go to my chem lab every week with glitter on my eyes#how it’s cool that i don’t care if i stick out like a sore thumb because i’m me#i remember how he dropped the she/her pronouns immediately upon ne saying i didn’t really vibe with them#(even when they were still technically on my list of ‘ok to use pronouns’)#how his boyfriend who i don’t know very well has always they/them-ed me because my friend does#and if my friend is doing it then it must be the right thing#idk i just love my friends#and this friend in particular is someone i’ve gotten really close with over the past 6 months or so#and i’m so glad to have him in my life#platonic love#friendship#tell your friends you love them
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Can't stop thinking about unhealthy co-dependent teen!fireskulls..
#directly related to that Matryoshka idea i had#Pump's fear of abandonment (which stems from his parents leaving for work) leading him to do stupid and selfish things to try and assure#him that Skid won't leave him#spooky month#skid and pump#skid#sm skid#pump#sm pump#skump#fireskulls#au#skid x pump#the idea I'm having rn is that Skid starts to experience psychotic symptoms and depression#and he's like hm maybe i should go to the doctor about this#but Pump is immediately like oh my god please don't because he's scared that if Skid gets medicated he'll realise how ridiculous and chaoti#that Pump is and won't want to be his friend anymore#so yeah gaslight gatekeep girlboss ig#(none of it would be romanticised at all btw)#they deal with their turmoil in different ways#skid draws and spraypaints his ''personal monsters'' (hallucinations. he doesn't know that though) all over the place#pump destroys stuff with his hammer and sets shit on fire#so yeah if y'all like the sound of that incredibly angsty (and probably cringe) au then I'll draw something for it lol#i just want skid and pump to be a little fucked up when they get older okay#sm 6 hinted that their personalities are gonna change (them getting upset and wanting to be better)#so this au would be that but cranked up to the extreme#they're still very silly and spooky btw they're not like edgy broody teens i'm not that bad /lh#i guess the best way to describe it would be like...#you know jinx from arcane? imagine if her character was split in two. skid gets her psychosis and pump gets her chaos and violence#wow i accidentally reached the tag limit lmao
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"ur repressed" okay well have u even considered that emotions r purposeless and only serve to cause harm to those around u and I have achieved a unique transcendent state beyond them. have u considered that
#joking but like. am I wrong though#yeah no one is able to overcome the inherent human flaw of emotion and anyone who thinks they can is in fact mentally unwell#except for me I'm built different I have actually managed to transcend emotion. this is a good thing and not a problem#I saw my father's anger and my mother's discontent and my brother's self loathing and my friend's yearning.#and I saw how it only made everyone more unhappy. and I decided I would be above them all and never let my emotions rule me.#I was scared of the dark until I realized that fear wasn't useful to feel. so I stopped feeling it#this is a good thing and I am a paragon of mental health I think#mmm alternatively I was made to play mediator in a family of traumatized ppl and learned to repress my emotions to the point of dysfunction#but I prefer to think I'm enlightened and have no problems. this is fine and will not blow up in my face#anyways. just now realizing that this might stem from my childhood. oops#also realizing that I'm probably not aro and I just learned to turn off romantic attraction bc I saw how miserable it made my friend??#well. I still don't experience romantic attraction. but probably I should and I will if I ever sort out this repression thing. whoopsie#really she was ready to kill herself over some white guy and I looked at that and was like. nope. I'm never stooping to that level#mm might not help that my parents never loved each other and I never had a healthy romantic relationship modeled for me as a child#but still like really like what is the point. of having emotions. they're just not useful#oh hurr durr I'm angry at my friends for talking over a tv show. there is no way to act on this without damaging ppl and relationships#ohh I'm in love with this guy who will never love me back. THERE IS NO PRODUCTIVE WAY TO ACT ON THIS#literally emotions can only be destructive and I'm a better person for opting out of them#there are no downsides to being repressed! I can still feel positive emotions. I'm happy sometimes. sometimes I'm excited. it's fine#guy who is Unpacking Things live on ur dash. sorry#narcissus's echoes#vent
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