#Steve is supposed to be 3 in this comic

[lostghost0o0]

How it all started

[upsidedownwithsteve]

what ifffff you showed us more of what steve + hawkins got up to during eddie’s summer? :) <3

Steve Harrington x fem!reader

A WHAT IF? - SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY/I WANT YOU TO WANT ME 🌲

“This feels wrong.” You scrunched your nose as you admitted it, eyes still closed, skin warmed by the sun above.

Beside you, your boyfriend snorted, his bare leg pressed against your own, his old lifeguard shorts cut high on his thighs and cherry red against his tanned skin.

“Wrong?” Steve questioned, his shoulder bumping your own before he rolled over, the roof of the gym creaking a little under your shared weight. He groaned at the effort, shifting onto his stomach until he could lean in and press a kiss to your shoulder, nosing at the skin along your chest that was left bare between your bikini straps. “You’re making this seem way more scandalous than it is, babe.”

You laughed, eyes opening to view the green canopy above, the trees swaying slightly in the breeze so that pieces of blue peeked through. The sky was cloudless, the camp almost quiet. The kids were by the lake, supervised by the other councillors on shift and on the rare occasion you had a day off that matched with Steve’s, the two of you had ensured you wouldn’t be interrupted by anyone.

The clumsy climb onto the gym roof was almost comical and it was always borderline dangerous the way you had to stand on Steve’s shoulders to reach the hidden spot but it was worth it. T-shirts shed and skin bared to the sun and each other’s lips, it was easy to take a nap and curl in on each other.

“You know what I mean,” you mumbled sleepily, face tilted up for Steve to dote on. You smiled at kisses he dropped there, nose smushed to your cheek, the smell of sunscreen you made him wear clinging to his skin. “The kids are probably trying to drown each other and your best friend is going through a crisis somewhere.”

Steve’s hand skated over the soft of your stomach, fingers catching on the open button of your shorts, the smooth fabric of your bikini bottoms that peeked out from the zipper. He was curling in on you, elbows braced on the blanket you’d laid down, hovering over your lazy frame as he nosed at your neck.

“Eddie’s not my best friend,” he muttered, sulking.

“He’ll be heartbroken,” you told him, smiling at the sky, at the feeling of Steve’s lips on your jaw. “Who’s your best friend?”

“You are,” Steve told you in a tone that made you think it was supposed to be a very obvious answer. “Dummy.”

You snorted, wriggling until you could face Steve and love on him too, meeting his lips in a kiss that you broke away from before it could turn heated. You could feel Steve’s pout against your cheek.

“Has he said anything? Y’know, about the whole situation?”

“Hmm?” Steve was barely listening, his fingers toying with the straps of your bikini instead. “Who?”

You huffed, toes digging into the meat of his calf in annoyance. “Eddie, duh. Has he spoken to her? Have they talked about what happened the other night? I really think she likes him, you know, she’s just struggling to admit it right now.”

Steve grunted, nodding without really listening and he dropped another kiss on your shoulder, working his way back to your jawline.

You paused, waiting for a response that didn’t come. “Steve, are you even listening to me?”

The boy huffed and pulled you into him by the waist, his fingers tucked into your belt loops and his brow furrowed as he leaned in for another kiss. He kept his pout long after you relented to his affection, your smile keeping him from licking into you the way he wanted to.

“Can’t lie to you babe, Eddie and his womanly troubles are the last thing on my mind right now.”

You rolled your eyes but let Steve work his thigh between yours regardless, the stubble of his jaw scratching nicely on the sensitive skin of your neck as he sucked a hickey there. Tilting your head back so he had more room to work, you pretended to sigh, long suffering and tired.

“What’s on your mind if you’re not even considering helping your best friend?”

“He’s not my best friend.”

“Whatever.”

Steve blocked the trees and the sky as he pulled back, grinning down at you with summer flushed cheeks and freckles on his nose. He looked too pretty, hair mussed from air drying after swimming in the lake, his bare chest more tanned than it had been at the beginning of the month.

“If you let me get you out of this bikini,” Steve bartered, “we can go play matchmaker later, alright?”

[hurtspideyparker]

Hi, sorry but could you recommend any of your favourite Peter Parker fics please?

For sure !!! *cracks open ao3 bookmarks*

Thirty Hours by polaroid15 - Peter doesn't take any breaks during a lengthy fight with the Avengers. The mind-melting fever that follows really should have been expected.

Hurt Peter Parker, my favourite tag <3 I love when Spider-Man is a badass and also lacks self-preservation. He's so cool fighting alongside the Avengers and we get some sweet hurt/comfort irondad!

Fitting In (Tiny Spaces) by aloneintherain - Peter's trapped beneath a collapsed building during a mission, hurt and unable to move. Luckily, his comm still works. Unluckily, the Avengers don’t realise how bad of a state Peter is in, and Peter isn’t inclined to tell them.

This fic is an icon in the fandom and for GOOD REASON. I just can not get enough of Peter Parker hiding his injuries. More heavy whump and angst!

All good things come in threes by Bergen - Peter has three secret identities: Spider-Man, the superhero who swings around the city to save people. Parker Benjamin, who gives Tony Stark unsolicited advice on his research. And NightMonkey, the Instagrammer who keeps uploading increasingly popular but embarrassing drawings of Iron Man.

And he can juggle them all just fine, thankyouverymuch.

Okay here is the fluff!!! Peter is a genius, a menace, and a sweetheart. Tony Stark runs into him (again and again) and can't help but have a soft spot for him every time. Funny and cute and an all 'round good time!

Held Together by Spiderwebs by TunaFishChris - Steve is not coping well in the twenty-first century. At all. Three months after the Chitauri invasion, he decides he's had enough.

But just as he's about to end it all, he runs into the new hero in town.

This one focuses a lot on Steve but I really like him and Peter's relationship in it, and I think this is great Peter Parker characterization. TW for discussions of depression and suicide, it gets a bit dark!

5 Times Spider-Man Saved an Avenger's Ass (and 1 Time They Saved Him) by TunaFishChris - this fic showcases how strong and capable Peter is, he's definitely a BAMF. I really like this genre where the Avengers know Spider-Man but not Peter Parker, makes Peter feel more independent and mature like in the comics.

Five Time Faculty Members Had to Call Peter's Emergency Contact + One Time He Shows Up Anyway, Five Times Tony Stark's Fabled Intern Just Showed Up + One Time He Was Invited, and Five Times Strangers Talked About Peter and Tony + One time Someone They Know Did by kingdomfaraway - I am just gonna recommend this entire series. Super fluffy, extreme irondad and spiderson. They're just adorable from an outside perspective and I love when Peter gets to just be Tony's intern and a teenager for a while :)

research and disaster by blueh - “So, uh, Mr. Stark definitely knows Roomba-Kid,” Becket says and discreetly tilts his head in the direction of the pair.

“Oh my god,” Jess says. She almost sounds gleeful. “Oh my god, he’s not just some random kid. He’s Mr. Stark’s kid.”

or: the interns at Stark Industries have some questions about Peter Parker. The answers aren’t quite what they expect.

I just love intern Peter mk? Let him be a kid genius and have fun!!! Fluffy and humorous, again with the irondad.

Captain, Oh My- Not My Captain! by uncouth_peasant - Peter swallowed hard before firing a web to swing into the fray. “Cap’s going after civilians. I’m out of time.”

Bruised and bloody men <3. Just Peter being a badass and getting beat to a pulp. Cool fighting, lots of Peter whump, and of course the Avengers being protective.

Good publicity by Bergen - Between Peter Parker barely speaking, and Spider-Man being the ultimate chatterbox, how was Tony ever supposed to figure out that they were one and the same person?

Tony Stark is secretly a softie for cute kids, especially when they're a genius and have a sense of humour to rival his own. Peter is a foster kid who ends up finding a home with Pepper and Tony, very sweet.

The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle - When Ben is murdered Peter goes into foster care. It takes just a tiny taste of superpowers for Peter to decide he doesn’t want to put up with his horrible foster father anymore—the streets are infinitely more appealing. All he wants is to be Spider-Man anyway.

So he leaves, simple.

Simple, that is, until Iron Man needs Spider-Man’s help.

Heavy TW for this one, mind the tags. This is a popular fic and for good reason. A very mature and realistic portrayal of the foster care system and homelessness. The Peter angst is really great and I could barely put it down, that boy needs a hug so bad.

Now here's some hydra!Peter fics cuz they're my jam:

Peter is a precious chickpea by Bergen - They attack the HYDRA safe house shortly before sunrise.

The only people defending said safe house are Peter and Leo, and Leo slams his cell door open and starts spitting out orders, but then promptly gets clobbered over the head and keels sideways.

So that just leaves Peter. And he’s not even going to try to fight a whole team of Avengers. He looks up at Iron Man filling the doorway. “I surrender.”

He’s never been captured before and he’s not sure what to do. Escape, probably.

This entire series is PERFECT. I just love how adorable Peter is, and all the relationships Peter forms with the Avengers absolutely melt my heart. Peter's characterization in this is really unique and I wish there was more. The Bucky and Peter friendship is everythingggg. I love hydra!peter and bucky fics.

Indoctrination by phoenixon - The Avengers thought they were on a typical assignment: Infiltrate the Hydra base and find the weapon. What they didn't expect was the small boy raised by Hydra that they found instead. And they definitely didn't expect him to stay at Avengers Tower or how he somehow wormed his way into their lives. As for Peter, he just wants to be good and obey what the Hydra men told him so he doesn't get in trouble.

I just really love hydra Peter changing into a sweet and intelligent boy once he's rescued and safe, and how all the Avengers take up such heart-warming parental roles around him.

out there, living in the sun by Hailfire_73 - The Avengers rescue Peter from a Hydra base ran by his father, Richard Parker, except Peter doesn't really see it as a rescue, and has trouble settling into a new life away from Hydra and his father at the Avengers compound. OR - Peter learns how to be an actual teenager, live life, and put his abusive past behind him, and Tony learns how to be a father.

Hydra Peter but he's most definitely a traumatized and moody teenager. I really enjoyed Peter's character arc and the exploration of his trauma. It felt more realistic the way his journey isn't just a straight or clear path. He's more mature in this one and it was a really compelling read, balancing the angst with some humour and fluff. Loved the ending.

Tinker, Tailor, Spider by Bergen - Tony is roped into a mission to transport a teenager to safety. But when things go south, it soon becomes more and more puzzling who the teenager is and what ‘safety’ means for him.

I really enjoy that the author doesn't water Peter being hydra down. Yes he is a highly skilled assassin and a badass who's trauma pervades his every thought and decision. Made me fall in love with the Tony, Pepper, Morgan and Peter as a family dynamic. Super domestic while still highlighting Peter's troubled past.

[luvrxbunny]

hot pink

Pairing: Steve Harrington x F!Reader

Prompt: Pegging

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, tiny bit of addiction talk, reader doesn’t cum (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 3.5k

A/N: this is so long omg i hope u guys like it <3 (not proofread) and i know basically nothing about pegging except that its hot so if anything is explained in-correctly just shhh and pretend pls

“So you just let her…” Steve trails off, too stunned to finish his sentence. Eddie is red from laughter and a twinge of embarrassment at Steve’s reaction. “Yes, but Steve-” He cuts himself off with another laugh as Steve’s eyes widen comically at Eddie’s confirmation. “You have to just try it, man.” Steve’s already shaking his head as he takes a sip of his beer, trying to think it over but unable to see a scenario in which he’d enjoy himself.

“Look, Eddie.” He chuckles a bit. “Some guys are into that and-” Eddie cuts him off with a groan. “No, Harrington, you’re not getting me. I didn’t want to! She convinced me and promised that we could do whatever I wanted if I didn’t like it.” He pauses for a bit for dramatic effect. “But I fuckin’ loved it.” Steve breathes out a surprised sigh at Eddie’s words. “It feels weird at first, sure, but once she finds this spot. She says it’s my prostate-” He scoots closer to Steve to explain. “So apparently you know how she has a G-Spot? Your girl?” He waits for Steve to nod at him. 

“Yeah, I know.” Steve’s face is bright red, embarrassed at this entire conversation. “Okay, yeah, it’s like we have one of those but it’s in our ass. So I’m kinda like… Does that mean we’re supposed to have something up our asses?” He raises his hands in defense when Steve turns to him with a disbelieving stare. “I’m just saying! Like- why is it there? If not to be played with? I don’t know, man, seems weird.” Eddie’s half-joking now, saying these things mostly to get a rise out of Steve, amused by how red his face gets. “Whatever. Just like- don’t knock it ‘til you try it, y’know?” Steve nods silently at Eddie and the conversation moves on, they light up another joint and talk about where Eddie’s next gig is supposed to be. Steve’s mind, however, never moves on. 

You’ve had this thought too. Eddie’s girlfriend, Bunny, had gifted you a strap-on about six months ago after convincing Eddie to let her peg him. She says it’s almost better than sex, despite the large drop in stimulation she's receiving. You thought she was crazy when she gave you the hot pink strap, you tried to give it back immediately, without even fully understanding what it was for. She and Eddie are just so much more- aggressive than you and Steve. The pair always has some new sex story to share with you two and you’ve never found any of them appealing, until she told you that one. 

“No- he was so cute too! He was face down on the bed- I know.” She giggles in agreement when your eyes widen with your smile. “And he wouldn’t shut up! He was whining almost the whole time, his hands were like- ugh he’s so cute. He was like trying to reach back for me the whole time!” You try not to show how her story was heating your body up as she squeals about Eddie. You’re imagining Steve in his place and the thought- although it’s one you’ve never had before- becomes the main thing on your mind. It just got worse over the six months of you keeping it a secret. You didn’t want to over-share, unsure if Eddie was okay with the fact that she told you, and not wanting to scare Steve off. The kinkiest thing the two of you have done is have sex in a changing room, you haven’t even brought toys into the bedroom yet so how are you supposed to ask him if you can stick a silicone rod up his ass? You can’t. So the strap collected dust at the top of your closet. 

Steve comes home almost drunk, tipsy enough that Wayne had to drive him home and he stinks of weed, letting you know he had a good night with Eddie. He can stand on his own, not swaying or anything but he has this delirious smile on his face and a cloudiness over his eyes that tells you he’s intoxicated. He opens his arms for you the moment you open the door and buries you in a hug. You wave behind him aimlessly, hoping Wayne is in the driveway and can see your appreciation. He walks you inside, your face still buried in his chest and your hands wrapped around his waist. “Missed you s’much, honeybun.” 

You snort at the nickname and pull away from him, eyes closing in relaxation when he presses a wet, loving kiss to your forehead. “Oh-” He sees his slobber on your forehead and blushes with an adorably embarrassed smile as he pulls his sleeve to his palm and rubs his spit off your head. “Sorry, darling. That’s so na-” You cut him off with a giggle, crush him into another hug, and lean up onto your tip-toes to kiss him properly. He exhales a sigh of relief, of contentedness as your lips cover his before you pull away. “I missed you too, baby.” He beams like a little boy at your statement, his chest filling with love for you. “Good.” 

You both giggle your way to his room and he changes as you sit on his bed, watching him. He sobers up a bit in the process, needing his brain power since you’re not helping him. He fumbles with his button-up pajama shirt and looks over at you pathetically. He could do it himself if he really tried but he has fat, dumb fingers, while yours are cute and dainty, so he’d rather just ask you for help. You smile at him knowingly and slowly walk over to him, reaching your hands out to button his shirt while he holds your eye contact. “Soo.. How was your time with Eddie?” You ask gently, finally breaking the silence. 

He thinks through the hangout again, trying to decide which part he wants to tell you first but then the memory of a certain conversation smacks into his mind. You can see he’s remembered something big by the sharp inhale he takes, he also straightens his shoulders, fixing his posture a bit as red leaks into his face. “What?” You ask with a giggle, surprised at his reaction and unable to think of what would even make him react this way. He stops your hands on his buttons and that brings your eyes to his, seeing their fear. You pull away from his shirt, a bit scared at his intensity. His eyes flicker to the bed for a moment. “Do you wanna sit?”

You nod silently but now your mind is running wild with thoughts. 

Eddie got him to do crack. Now he’s addicted. Fuck. No- No, Eddie probably ordered a hooker or something and cheated on Bunny! Or he ordered the hooker for Steve… And he cheated… No. He would never. So..? Oh my god. It’s meth. Steve’s addicted to meth. 

Steve sits silently beside you, his hands wringing each other nervously, only worsening your thoughts. He takes a breath to say something but loses his nerve.

What if she thinks it’s too weird? What if she leaves you over this, goes to all her friends, and talks about how Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington wants a dick up his ass. Shit. Should I just abort?.. No. I mean, she wouldn’t do that, would she? No. No, of course not. 

“Um.” He finally starts and your body tenses, preparing for the worst. He won’t even look at you, his gaze is fixed on his nails as he picks at his cuticles. “I- Eddie talked about something. I kinda- It sounded intriguing- Well. It- It sounded scary at first.” He breathes out an incredulous chuckle. “I was like- No way. But then- uh. Then I imagined it with… With you and-” A shaky sigh falls from his lips and you turn to him. His face is beet red and his hands are shaking lightly when he rubs them against his thighs, trying to help with the clamminess. 

“And after I did that it- The idea became very, very appealing. Like- It’s kinda embarrassing how bad I- How badly I want it…” You begin to get a bit nervous at how he’s dancing around the topic, and how vague he’s being. He turns to you for a moment, his face getting redder when he realizes you’ve been looking at him. “Don’t- Just uh, don’t judge me too fast, okay? Eddie, he- he made it sound really- really good, sweetheart.”

Your heart is racing, his intense gaze piercing into your soul. “You’re scaring me, Steve.” His eyes widen and he takes your hand into his, you try not to make a face at how damp his palm is. “It’s- I mean it’s not bad. I hope you don’t think it is. Uhm…” He takes a deep breath and breaks your eye contact to analyze the bedsheets. “Have you heard of, um… p-pegging?”

A light spreads through your body and you fight the smile that wants to crack your face open, trying to stay more neutral. “Yeah… Why?” He looks up at you hesitantly, his eyes are scared and desperate. His eyelids flutter as his lips tremble, “I - I want-” He whines and pulls away from you, conceding. “Nevermind. It’s- Fuck. It’s probably too late to backtrack, huh?” His hand combs through his hair, embarrassed, stressed, and scared for your reaction. 

You stay silent for a bit as Steve gets lost in his thoughts, you’re considering your options and ultimately decide to show him. You stand and start walking to the closet, Steve exhales a frantic sigh and you hear him stand behind you. “You- Don’t be weird about it, I just-” You grab the box and turn around, holding it out to show him, picture side first. His mouth shuts immediately. He’s frozen where he stands, just staring at the box in your hands. Now you’re growing nervous at his silence. You chuckle nervously and walk back to where you were sitting on the bed, handing him the box and his eyes never leave it. 

“Bunny gave this to me a while ago… I never said anything ‘cus I didn’t think you’d want to but-” He finally lifts his gaze to you and you lose your breath at his state, already needy and wanting. “We could… If- I mean if you want we can t-try?” You feel like you’re vibrating in your seat, anxious but excited at the same time because Steve has been nodding at you since your sentence started. You giggle and take the box from his hand, turning to put it in your top drawer until the time is right. You giggle at your thought before turning back around to voice it to Steve. 

He’s fumbling with his buttons, his pants already off and a prominent bulge in his boxers. 

“Oh! Right- Right now? You want it right now?” You ask, audibly shocked and his hands freeze. He looks at you, embarrassed and you instantly feel bad for your tone. “I thought you’d be too drunk, baby.” He shakes his head lightly. “I’m not drunk anymore.” His tone is so soft, delicate as he speaks and it brings a smile to your face. You look him up and down, your smile widening at the dark spot spreading around his tip. You walk over to him slowly and watch his breathing speed up the closer you get. 

“Then get on the bed.” You say with an innocent tilt to your voice that ruins him. He moans at your words and basically throws himself on the bed. He’s wiggling his clothes off as you read the instructions for the strap, trying to figure out how you’re supposed to situate it over your hips. You get it up your legs before having to look back at the instructions, following each step as carefully as you could, but still left with the leather straps sliding down your legs instead of holding your dick in place. 

“Baby?” Embarrassment and a bit of amusement flood you as Steve calls out. You turn around begrudgingly and bite your lip at the sight. He’s laid out across his bed, his entire body flushed and blushing for you, his dick kissing his belly as his hips thrust into the air gently. You walk over to him with a shy smile on your face, holding the strap up on your hip as you climb over him. “I think I need your help.”

He’s mesmerized by the silicone cock, how it hands between your legs, how the hot pink color matches your character perfectly, like it’s meant to be your dick. “Yeah. Yes, I can help.” He sits up and starts pulling random straps until something tightens, then does the same with the other side. “Thanks, baby. Can you make sure the back straps are all secure?” You turn around and bend for him, not totally aware of the way you’re putting yourself on display for him. His eyes can’t help but gravitate to your ass, admiring the way the leather straps dig into the plush of it, leaving little indents on your skin. “A- all set, sweetheart.” He says with a light pat on your ass to tell you that you can turn back around. 

You turn to him with a smirk and he just stares up at you. His pink lips are wet and bitten and so alluring. You lean down and bury them in a kiss, smothering his lips with yours and breathing in every whine he gives. You pull away with a smile and he makes no move to flip over, his hands just rest on your hips as you stare at him. You lift off of him, and all he gives you is a confused stare… Himbo.

“Face down-” His breathing shudders. “Ass up, sweetheart.” He whines and flips over for you, but leaves his ass low, his dick flush with the bed. You shake your head fondly and climb over him, your legs on each side of his calves and you reach for his hips, letting your fingers ghost over his skin before pulling them up to rest against yours. Steve whines at the feeling of your cock between his ass, he wants to pull away but your hands convince him to stay put. Your thumb is rubbing back and forth, soothing him as you lean forward to whisper in his ear. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, baby,” He shivers and you pull away to reach over to your nightstand, grabbing his lube and squirting a generous amount into your hand before returning to your previous spot. 

“Okay. I’m pretty sure I have to stretch you out first. Is that okay?” He whines, sounding a bit upset and his hips wiggle so subtly you almost don’t catch it. You rest your un-lubricated hand on his lower back, stilling his movements. “How- Is that gonna take long?” You’re a bit confused by his question, silent as you figure out your answer. He turns to look at you over his shoulder, ensuring that you heard him and then he sees your confused expression. “I really want it.” 

His voice dissolves into a whine and you almost forgo it, almost convincing yourself that he doesn’t need prep- but the fear of tearing his pink little hole stops you. “It’ll just take a minute.” You spit the words at him, growing just as desperate as he is as your finger plunges into his hole, a bit faster than you probably should’ve but earning you a shouting moan from his pretty lips.

“Don’t wanna hurt your little hole, baby.” You tell him just to add insult to injury. He’s whimpering your name against the sheets, his eyes shut tight as he squeezes around your finger and you see his cock jump. You push in another finger and he takes it like a champ, begging for a third long before you planned. 

Once you’re done stretching him his entire body is hot and shaking, his cock leaking onto the sheets but he’s still unsatisfied. You line your cock up with his entrance and smile at the instant whimper it gets from Steve. You’re watching the way the silicone dick presses into his hole, the way he’s pushing back on it and this strapon must've figured out a way to connect to your nervous system because you swear you can feel his heat on it. You’re confused and entranced by how it looks, how it feels, and how he sounds. “M’gonna fuck you now, Stevie.” His dick twitches as he groans at your words and his hips press back onto your dick, teasing you with his warmth and friction. “Oh fuck. Please.”

You work your tip into him and a little nub at the bottom of the strap pushes into your clit, only furthering your fantasies of being able to feel real pleasure from his ass. You moan with him as you slide in. You prepped him well enough that you’re able to get half your dick in before he’s whining at you to slow down. You rest your front on his back and he can feel your boobs squishing into him, making the whole experience that more arousing. “You feel so good, love.”

You moan into his ear, low and sultry to fuck him up even further. He moans your name, eyes shooting open and his hips rock him back, forcing the rest of your cock into him and accidentally ramming you right into his prostate. “FU-” His curse is cut off with a breathless gasp and he collapses onto the bed. His arms are covering his obviously red face and he’s letting out shouting groans into the mattress as you grind yourself into that spot again and again. You never pull out very far, too scared that you’ll lose his special button.

His thighs are already shaking against yours and it twinges arousal in your stomach. You bottom out inside Steve and grind yourself into the base, moaning his name and riling him up. He can’t fathom why you’re moaning, he knows you can’t feel him but you’re moaning like he’s fucking you, and it’s fucking him up. His hips swivel back onto your dick, trying to get as much stimulation as he can. It’s like nothing he’s ever experienced, it feels like you’re everywhere, and he feels so full. The thought sparks a memory of you telling him the same thing and his balls tense at the role reversal. The fact that it's now you fucking him, filling him to the brim, moaning at how tight he is. 

He cries out your name and you watch his hand uncurl from the sheets in favor of sliding between his legs. You pull out and start fucking him as quickly as you can, surprised at how much it actually exerts but the sore muscles are worth it to hear the way his moans increase. He becomes frantic and pathetic, with high whines of  “So good, love it s’much. Love you s’much.” begin to litter his incoherent moans and you know he’s getting close. You watch his hole squeeze you more frequently the closer he gets and you wrap your hand around his waist. You smack his hand away from his dick and rest your entire body over him as you wrap your hand around him- causing him to collapse entirely as he moans your name. You’re jostled as he crashes to the bed but you keep up your pace as best you can. 

It’s a struggle to jerk him off against the mattress but his moans tell you that he doesn’t mind in the slightest. You’re able to fuck into him more easily from this angle and it shows, your pace is doubled and he’s basically screaming a loose frame of your name. The back of his neck is burning red and his moans are climbing, warning you of his impending orgasm. You smile, proud of yourself and him, and lean down to kiss the back of his neck, snapping his last straw. 

He shouts into the mattress, it’s barely a moan, closer to a sob or a scream as his cock throbs painfully. He’s spilling against the mattress, completely soaking the sheets with his cum as his body shakes against you. Your hand is slick on him, now flooded with his cum as he stutters into you, trying to fuck himself into your fist while fucking himself onto your cock. You thrust into him slowly, cooing into and kissing his ears as he comes down slowly. He twitches into you occasionally, gradually becoming overly sensitive to your movements but every time you stop he presses his hips up from the bed, forcing you to thrust into him again. So you stop stopping. 

You grind into him slowly, listening to the little mewls he lets out when you land close to his prostate. It’s like you’re massaging his insides, stroking along his soft, sensitive walls and eventually he falls asleep that way, leaving you with the struggle of flipping him over to clean him up but you don’t mind in the slightest.  

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed, here's the rest of my Kinktober Works and be sure to check out my Main Masterlist!!

[ladykailitha]

Never Hold Back Your Step... Part 14

Hey, guys just a couple chapters left. The story is done. I kind skip over the Mind Flayer bit and get back to the heart of the story, Eddie and Steve.

It will be some time before I start the last one. The lack of interest for this one made it hard to finish and as you're aware I don't really like having to rely on canon so much. And the last one will have to feature it in someway. But we'll see.

In this we get Eddie calling in the cavalry, Steve and Robin are captured and Steve plays hero.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

~

To say Eddie was worried would be an understatement. He had gone to the mall to pick Steve up from work and he wasn’t there.

But he knew about the Russian message and he knew that there was one thing Steve couldn’t stand and that’s was letting a literal child rush headlong into danger, not if he could help it.

So he started looking around. There were bound to be clues. And sure enough, the ladder had been moved and vent wasn’t properly screwed on anymore. But there was no way that any of the three Musketeers would fit through that space and he shuddered to think what or who they would have gotten to go down that tunnel.

He put his hand on his hip and scratched his chin. Then he snapped his fingers. There was nothing for it. He was going to have to call in the cavalry and by cavalry he meant Uncle Wayne.

Eddie went to a payphone and pulled out a quarter. He dialed home.

“‘Ello,” Wayne greeted gruffly. “Wayne speaking.”

“Uncle Wayne!” he cried. “I’m at the mall and I can’t find Steve. His car is still here, but I can’t find him. Which his car being here is weird as I was supposed to pick him up.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line before Wayne said, nice and low, “This is about those comics, ain’t it?”

Eddie straightened his spine. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t be playing games with me, boy,” Wayne growled. “If your boy is trouble I need to know everything.”

“Meet me on the north side of the mall and I’ll tell you what I know,” Eddie whispered, looking over his shoulder. “I don’t want to say much over the phone.”

Again there was a beat then, “I’m on my way.”

~

The arguing was starting to mess with Steve’s head. In that he meant it was going to give him a migraine and then he was going to murder them. Particularly since he didn’t have his medication with him.

Because they were trapped in a fucking elevator underneath the mall and no way out or back up.

“Shut up!” he huffed. “I don’t care about Tina or Uncle Jack’s party, mmk?” He cocked his head forward for emphasis. “Look if we don’t find a way out of here, there wouldn’t be any parties or shit, because we’d all be dead. No one is looking for us, because they don’t know where we are.”

Erica popped her hip and placed her hand on it. “Maybe no one is looking for you. But my parents are absolutely looking for me.”

Steve covered his face with his hands. “Not what I meant! I mean no one is going to look for a secret Russian base under the mall because that’s fucking insane!”

Time went on and it was looking less and less likely they’d find a way out even with Dustin constantly trying to use his little communicator to reach out to anyone who could help when Robin heard someone coming.

They all ducked behind the crates when Steve got a bright idea. Taking Erica’s vial of green glowing liquid, he leapt into action.

As the elevator door closed, he stuck the vial between the floor and the door, effectively stopping its descent. He signaled to Dustin and Erica to get out first and then Robin. He rolled under the door just the vial’s strength gave out.

It shattered, its contents spewing all over the floor. Then to their horror it began to eat away at the floor and the door.

“Shit!” Dustin swore and Steve agreed. He barely missed rolling into the stuff and really didn’t want to know what it did to flesh if it did that to fucking metal.

They looked around but the only way to go was further into the base.

“Out of the frying pan,” Robin said with her hands on her hips, “and into the fire.”

Steve sighed and walked toward the long hallway, the other three following close behind.

~

Eddie paced in front of the movie theater. He was really worried about Steve now. He had asked a couple of the other people in the food court if they had seen anything, but the only thing they mentioned was that they closed early.

He wished not for the first time that Steve had thought to call him. But he knew why he didn’t. There were several reason that came to his head. That Dustin was super pushy about it and Steve wasn’t allowed the time to call. That Steve didn’t want him involved in whatever the hell this mess was. Which fair, but a head’s up would have been nice.

A beat up pickup pulled to a stop in front of him and he nearly sagged with relief. Uncle Wayne would know what to do.

Wayne was out of his truck and gathering Eddie up in his arms before his lip could even wobble.

Eddie told him everything Steve had said about weird shit in Hawkins and how everything was tied to that lab. He had been slowly prying it out of Steve over the last month whenever they were alone.

“We’ll find him,” Wayne said fiercely. “So he’s car’s here, which means it’s probably been left here overnight. Whatever happened, didn’t happen today. Which isn’t good. Who might he have gone to?”

Eddie frowned. “I’m pretty sure Dustin is already with him, and probably his co-worker, Robin Buckley.” He thought about the comic with the dire wolves. “Lucas Sinclair and Max Mayfield.”

“Ed,” Wayne said slowly, “those are children you just named.”

“Uh...” Eddie said, wrinkling his brow in concentration. “I know there are a couple of actual adults involved, but I don’t know who. I mean, I’d guess Mrs. Byers because her son is in the middle of all this shit, but...” he just shrugged.

Wayne rubbed his eyebrow in frustration. These were children, Steve included. He didn’t care if the boy just turned eighteen, Steve was only sixteen when all this shit started. None of them should have been anywhere near this shit.

“Hopper!” Eddie cried, snapping his fingers. “Steve said the police chef knew about the goings on here in Hawkins.”

“I’m going to kill him,” Wayne muttered darkly.

Secretly Eddie agreed. He was usually all about down with the man and conspiracies and all that shit, but the chief of police knowing that things are fucked up and not doing more to protect this town from whatever the hell this all was? Yeah, fuck that guy in particular.

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Wayne said firmly. “I’m going to go the police station and hunt Hopper down, see if he knows about anything under the mall. You are going to stay here, keep an eye out for him at the mall. Since his car is still here, he’s got to be somewhere on the property.”

Eddie nodded, pursing his lips together and rocking back on his heels.

“Good,” Wayne groused. “I’ve got a pair of walkies in the cab of my truck, we’ll keep in contact that way, okay?”

Eddie heaved a sigh of relief. That made it easy to know where each other was at all times. He took the walkie talkie from Wayne and headed back into the mall.

He knew that Steve wouldn’t be in the food court, wherever he had gone, was away from the ice cream shop.

So he setup his vigil on one of the benches half way between the food court and the theater so that he could keep an eye on the two busiest locations.

He pulled out his little notebook to make it look like he was drawing or whatever to not arouse suspicion and settled in for a long wait.

~

Steve was fucking terrified. He wanted to run back to Forest Hills and crawl into Eddie’s bed and never come out of it ever again. They were only supposed to find out what the Russians were up to so that they could report it to their ‘friends’ at the DOE and be lauded as heroes instead of heaps of NDAs and admonishments to keep their mouths shut.

But now they were walking into something they didn’t even fucking know how to get out of. No one knew where they were. Or even where to start looking. Dustin had almost used up all the battery on his little communicator trying to get into contact with their friends and no one had answered.

And then he saw it.

It was a good thing he hadn’t eaten in who knows how long because he absolutely would have lost it.

“What the hell is that?” Erica said, reeling back in disgust.

“Dustin,” Steve implored. “Please tell me that isn’t what it looks like.”

Dustin grabbed his hand. “Uh...nope. It’s exactly what it looks like.”

They had reached a room where there were a lot of scientists running around, calling out in Russian and making notes on clipboards. In the center of the room was a red pulsating mass.

They ducked behind some boxes and Steve bit back a whimper.

“Is it open?” Steve asked Dustin.

Dustin peeked over the boxes and then ducked back down. “No. Not yet. But I bet that’s what the green goo is for.”

“Shit,” Steve hissed. “Of course they’re trying to open a Gate. What else would Russians want with Hawkins?”

Dustin looked devastated, because Steve was right. There was only one thing a foreign government would want in their fucked up little town. The Upside Down.

They managed to sneak around the scientists and found themselves in a control room. A mostly empty control with a single guard.

Steve plan was stupid. But it was all they had.

And it ended better than he thought it would if he was honest with himself. Robin and he had been captured while Erica and Dustin had gotten away.

They kept asking him over and over who they were and who they worked for. Steve did everything he could to keep the attention on him. Robin didn’t know anything. She didn’t know anything about Gates and monsters, and alternative dimensions. He kept repeating the truth over and over again.

“Steve Harrington, I work at Scoops Ahoy!” he chanted, his voice slurring after the fifth strike to the side of his face.

Again and again they didn’t believe him.

Then they took him away and the beating intensified. He was crying now and he didn’t care. He just wanted to have a barbecue with his boyfriend and his uncle. His parents had called him again to say that they wouldn’t be home. He hoped and feared that Eddie and Wayne were looking for him.

Then his world went black.

~

I'm not going to show Steve being tortured. This story isn't about that. It's not even really about season 3. It's about Steve and Eddie.

Part 15 Part 16

Tag List: FIVE SLOTS REMAINING

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @blondie1006

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @angels-of-hades

7- @mugloversonly @y4r3luv @greeniebean911 @birbsauce @acingthecounts

8- @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @ravenfrog @dreamercec @sadisticaltarts

9- @clockworkballerina @bluelightsinthevoid @blcksh33p1987 @i-go-pink-in-the-night @mamafaithful

[avelera]

I am never going to be over what the movies did with Steve and Tony's dynamic, because- listen, listen. The reason Civil War was (supposed to, it was kind of a hot mess) hit so hard in the comics was that these two were *best friends* and had been for decades of comic time. In the movies, they never are friends, so Civil War is just two colleagues who never really got on, and not the devastating tearing apart of a long-established friendship group.

Dude I literally burst out into like... outraged, furious laughter in the theater when Tony said, "I thought I was your friend?" because, umm, footage not fucking found?

I completely get and respect the comic readers here for whom Steve & Tony and Steve/Tony were, in fact, the best of friends! But the MCU never ever actually showed it.

To cram that line, which felt lifted from the comics, into the MCU was genuinely laughable. How could Tony possibly think he compares to what we've seen of Steve and Bucky's relationship, since childhood even if you don't ship them, as the only person Steve has left from his entire life pre-WWII? How could Tony possibly think he compares except through the lens of a galaxy sized ego and being totally self-involved to the exclusion of all else? How could any work colleague, since that's what they are at best when not outright antagonists to each other in the MCU, think they'd compare to a childhood friend in danger, that Tony is actively putting in danger? Who Tony is blaming for the death of his father despite the fact they've got piles of evidence that Bucky was a mind-controlled prisoner of war being actively tortured at the time?

It's literally staggering, it beggars belief that this line was uttered. And wildly enough, it's not even my least favorite line in Civil War. (That one goes to Vision's stupid fucking comment about how strength invites challenge, basically victim-blaming the superheroes for having villains, which only possibly makes any sense if you ignore Thor, the greater galaxy, all of the infinity stones, and basically every other part of the MCU timeline before Steve Rogers got the serum, Christ that line makes me mad.

Oh, and the line about Tony just handwaving signing the accords because their lawyers can fix it later as the most boneheaded line of insane privilege I've ever heard. Kids, never fucking sign something just because you can supposedly fix it later, christ it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.)

ANYWAY, I have major beef with Civil War's logic. It never should have happened where it did in the MCU. Cap 3 should have been dedicated to its original plot before they found out RDJ was staying on in the MCU and they had the pieces to make Civil War (the original was the hunt for Bucky and an examination of Captain America's legacy through the lens of Bucky killing off the pretenders the US government set up to be him over the years, and I still weep that we never got it) But I do honestly, deeply, have sympathy for comic fans and why they're mad about the Steve and Tony friendship never actually appearing on screen in any meaningful way.

Civil War shouldn't have happened then. Civil War is a plot you run now, when you've got the rights to the X-Men and too many damn characters running amok. Civil War would be perfect now for pairing down some of the ballooning MCU nonsense. The cast was literally not big enough circa Cap 3 to make Civil War. And I'm eternally bitter that they pivoted away from the smaller-scale Cap-centric movie we should have had and instead made another Avengers movie in its name.

[scarletwitching]

What would be your recommendations for someone trying to get into Wanda?

There is so much Lore™ with Wanda that they never stop bringing up that you're always going to have questions and be a little confused, no matter where I tell you to start. That said:

Scarlet Witch by James Robinson: The Complete Collection

Scarlet Witch by Steve Orlando Vol. 1: The Last Door

Scarlet Witch by Steve Orlando Vol. 2: Magnum Opus

Scarlet Witch by Steve Orlando Vol. 3: Scarlet Witch & Quicksilver

Vision & the Scarlet Witch: The Saga of Wanda and Vision

There was a time when the answer for where to start with Wanda was some very old, scattered issues of Avengers, and nowadays, I feel like the solo comics are a good place to start. The last one is a collection of comics from the 80's, but those stories are focused on her and Vision.

From there, you can try out Steve Englehart's run on Avengers. Busiek's too, I suppose. Various events, both recent and old. It's hard because sometimes, rather famously, Wanda, as a plot device, will be very important in a story, but then she's barely in the story. Like, she's comatose, she's off-screen, people are talking about her and she's not there. Which, I think, makes them weird to recommend for her, in spite of what it looks like on paper. If you want lore, you can just read a summary of the lore.

And also, those comics are not the best quality and contain many questionable writing decisions, far beyond the normal stuff you get in Marvel comics. I often have quibbles with the things I recommend, elements I have outdated and insensitive, but there's a big difference between that and Disassembled, which I would be hard-pressed to say anything positive about.

[cowboylikeyouu]

why does everybody hate mcu clint so much??? i’ve read his comics but i still love jeremy renner’s portrayal of him and stuff :(

like i can understand being disappointed in some ways about how the character was changed for the movies, but i can’t understood all the hate for him

for me, personally, it's not that mcu clint is a bad character per se, it's really just the fact that he doesn't feel like clint barton. give him any other name and he's a fine character, but compare him to comic clint and they're in NO WAY the same person.

on one hand you have that responsible, serious husband and well adjusted father of three, who cracks a joke here and there but takes everything pretty serious most of the time, who has his life under control, while everyone else on the team is a mess. he doesn't have that much of a personality, no weird habits or (dis)likes, he really fades in comparison to other team members like tony, who's lines are always on point and who gets a back story and everything.

on the other hand there's this 6'3" disaster of a human being, who lives for coffee, dogs, tv shows and nothing else, is obsessed with purple for no reason at all, grew up in a circus after he escaped his abusive dad, can't take anything seriously and cracks the funniest joke all the fucking time, even makes fun of captain america on a regular basis (at least in the early avengers comics), runs away from himself and responsibility, fucks up nearly all of his relationships because he really sucks at emotions, but then forms those really precious bonds with people like kate, and who's just kind of an asshole really, but simultaneously a fucking ray of sunshine. plus he's deaf and we always love some representation. oh, and mcu clint is like the straightest guy ever, and then there's comic clint who is just so easy to headcanon as this bisexual disaster, and we all know how much fandom loves a queer coded character.

so, the mcu basically took away every fun part of the awesome character that is clint barton and it SUCKS. i really don't hate movie clint as his own character, i just hate hate HATE the fact that he's supposed to be THE clint barton because he IS NOT, and he'll never be. i'm sorry, but jeremy renner just can't pull it off, i'll never understand how they saw bigger-than-steve, blond-mess, purple-loving, coffee-addict comic clint and where like: "oh yeah, let's cast 5' 9" jeremy renner and give his character a huge, healthy family, and no mental health problems, that's just perfect😍"

it's just so sad to be aware of the awesomeness of comic clint and then watch the movies because you're constantly thinking "oh what could've been..." if they did comic accurate movie clint, he'd definitely be a fan-favourite and we'd have tons of edits, and ships, and merchandise, but NO, most mcu fans just forget about him or don't find him special or entertaining (bc his mcu version really really isn't) and he gets left out of all the casual merchandise you can find in random shops (i literally have an album on my phone that's dedicated to photos i took of cheap avengers merchandise with the "o6" avengers sans clint lmao)

you're obviously allowed to love movie clint and jeremy's portrayal, that's great!!! i was an mcu fan way before i even knew just how different comic clint was, and i loved mcu clint so much back then! but after reading the comics and thousands of fanfiction, i'm just really really angry that there isn't a good live action on screen representation of my all time favourite fictional character, and i think many people feel the same :(

okay, i think i'm done lmao.

anyways, shout out to avengers assemble clint, my one true love <3 the mcu should take notes.

[kas-eddie-munson]

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3

~~~

Max woke up.

He heard through the grapevine there was a flurry to go visit her in the hospital, but that she was mostly just sleeping.

“She still has the breathing tube in, so she can’t talk yet, but Lucas has been reading her this new comic -”

One of the nice things about talking to Dustin is he didn’t have to say much.  The kid could go on for hours if you let him.

And he often did.

Wayne asked if he wanted a ride up to visit, and he declined.  He knew the first couple days were gonna be tiring.

It was in a week or two that people would peter out.  Especially since the school year started, he was sure the kids won’t have as much time to visit as they’d like.  He’ll go then, with Steve, so Wayne won’t have to miss work.

~~~

After physical therapy one thursday, Eddie asked Steve if he wanted to come in and hang out.  Steve made a couple sandwiches and they ate in front of the TV, Eddie in Wayne's recliner so he could put his feet up.  He asked about his week, Robin, new videos out recently.  A bit about Max.

“Has her mom been to visit?”

He could tell by the look on Steve’s face she had not.

They went back to watching TV.

On Thanksgiving, he and Steve headed to the hospital.  He tried to push down the bile rising in his stomach at the familiar smell when they went through the front door.  He just let Steve lead the way to her room, folded paper bag in hand.

She had a single room, sizable.  A big window on one wall.  She was staring out it when they knocked.  Her eyes were red, cheeks wet, a distance in her expression that hurt deep in his chest.  Neither mentioned it when she wiped her cheeks on the back of her hand and they said hellos.

She didn’t have a breathing tube anymore, just a cannula and feeding tube.  She didn’t talk much, her throat sore, but Steve pulled up a chair and the three of them caught up.  She wasn’t eating solid foods yet, but Steve talked to her doctor the other day apparently, who had given the OK for chicken broth and cranberry sauce.

So the three of them ate that together.

He didn’t ask where the kids were.  They had their own families.  Hell, Steve had to get home by seven.

(Eddie and Wayne had “dinner” together that morning before he left for work.)

He didn’t ask where her mom was either.

Eddie was in the hospital for the Fourth of July.  And as much disdain as he had for Reagan and co., there was something sadder about being there by himself that day than most.  He never even did much of anything for it.

He didn’t exactly miss the days living with his parents, the few times he stayed up to play with sparklers in the yard, but that fourth?  He would have given anything to just go outside.  Hear the fireworks booming in the distance.  Maybe spot a lightning bug in the bushes of the hospital parking lot even if he didn’t have the energy to try and catch it.

So.  He was a little adamant about coming today.

Before they left, he ducked out to find the bathroom.  It felt almost luxurious slapping the automatic button next to the door.  And damn, maybe he could convince Wayne to install some grab bars in their bathroom.

“Hey!  Where’s your band?”

He looked over his shoulder on the way out of the bathroom and a nurse came up to him, and repeated herself.  Steve closed Max’s door in his periphery.

“My band?”

“Yeah, you’re not allowed to take those off.  What’s your name?  I can print you a new one.  You’re really not supposed to take those off, though.”

“He’s not a patient.  We were just leaving.”

Steve waved her off, standing between them until she left.

Eddie clenched his teeth, but kept his mouth shut. He was tired, today.  As opposed to when exactly, he wasn’t sure.  Maybe a long time ago.

Part 5 ~ Part 6

[therealmaquaroonie]

Ok, so if Mepad is evil (and presumably the one hosting) in your AU, how does Taco (and Toilet, if he's here) fit in?

OHOHOHOHO taco

taco taco taco

she's a Choco Taco :3 based off of the one klondike used to make

i love Choco Taco so much she's a shy little sweetheart in this au and generally lovely to be around

anyways

Toilet (he is staying as a toilet) is Mepad's accomplice and is probably the only non-artifically-made object that Mepad genuinely likes- at least a little bit. Toilet is a soft spoken master in technology.

i'd think it'd go like this: after Mepad has blinded Mephone, he basically kicks him out and has Toilet as his main cohost

this would be due to Mephone 'double crossing' him

to explain that, i'll now explain the Choco Taco situation

Choco Taco was supposed to win Season 1, but Lemonade (this AU's oj) stole that from her. Mepad, who was distracted during the challenge, just chocks up Lemonade to being the winner. Mephone does not like this.

in Season 2, Choco Taco is caught stealing information from Mepad by Knife, and Knife makes a deal, saying 'well if you don't help me with the challenges i'll reveal to Mepad that you're stealing stuff from him'. It is unclear what the inital information Choco Taco was stealing.

Eventually, Microphone catches onto this, and does NOT like the fact that Knife is basically using her.

Mic talks to Choco Taco in private about what's going on, and Choco Taco reveals that there's a person that Mepad is trying to track down (It's Cobs but they don't know that yet) and Choco Taco is trying to find out who it is and where they are before Mepad has the chance to find them.

Choco Taco ends up finding Mephone, who is just barely functioning, and Mephone tells her about why Mepad wants to kill Steve Cobs. The remainder of the story is Choco Taco and Mic trying to get to Steve Cobs before Mepad gets to him

This story is still verrrrry rough around the edges so things ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE (especially since if i do end up making a comic about these guys it'd be in the far future since i already have two different osc-related fancomics going on rn) but ye

[farfaras]

I think I got an ex but I forgot him.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3 (this is it.) AO3 link.

–

Their plan changed. Them planing to come out changed things, mostly the storyline they were going for. Jonathan realizing he was lonely and didn’t actually love Steve as a way to end the relationship seemed too gut wrenching for a baby gay to witness. So that was out.

The timing of them getting together would stay the same. But instead of those elaborate phases they planned, they would just take it one day at a time. Like normal couples would. When they decide to break up, they would just say they realized they work better as friends. Simple, easy.

Today was probably the hardest part of the plan. Coming out to everyone. Dustin actually convinced them, made them believe that the whole crew would be supportive. If anything went sideways Steve was definitely putting this on him.

They had get togethers almost weekly now. It was a comfort thing. Most of the time the brats used these gatherings to play their nerd game. The rest of them just hanging out. Steve only wished Mike took better care of his basement.

The party and Eddie were playing their game on the table. Steve made sure he sat down close to Jonathan, Robin on his other side. Eleven and Max were reading some comics in the corner, on a beanbag. They looked comfortable.

Steve was anxious. He didn’t know how Jonathan could take this level of anticipation and anxiousness. He was fidgeting almost violently, so Jonathan took his hand in his. Robin, who was in the middle of a rant, faltered for a second before going back to talking. Both Steve and Jon’s attention on her. Even though she was still talking, she looked Steve in the eyes and raised a single brow. He knew what she was asking. He hopefully telepathically sent the right message.

When the party announced that they finished their session for today, Mike rushed to get some drinks. Jonathan dropped his hand and resumed his previous position. Steve caught Will and Eddie curiously eyeing the movement, while Dustin was downright staring and not so subtlely hiding his grin.

Everyone was chatting amongst themselves, when Mike returned Jonathan cleared his throat. “Uh, guys?” His voice was slightly louder than it normally was. Also firm. “We have some news.”

Mike raised an eyebrow. “Who’s we?”

Steve spoke up. “Me and Jonathan.”

“Unexpected but welcomed duo, huh.” Robin tried to lighten the mood. It was like every time someone heard the word news they assumed the worst. Steve gave her a grateful glance.

“It’s nothing bad, don’t worry.” Steve reassured them. They seemed to relax at that, nodding and giving them their full attention. Jesus, their faces were earnest and curious. Steve didn’t know if he was gonna survive this. He turned to Jonathan. “Should you tell them or do you want me to do it?”

Jon gave him a small and teasing smile. “I’ll tell them. You got the worst of it already.”

“Hey! What the fuck? I thought we were cool, Jonathan.” Dustin protested when he heard Jon. And that reaction just proved his point.

Jon just stared blankly at him. “Someone just spit it out already.” Mike said, rolling his eyes like the impatient little shit he was.

“You just don’t know how to wait, huh.” Lucas shot back.

“Shut up.”

“Grow up, Mike.”

“Oh, please…”

Eddie’s voice cut through the argument dryly. “Kids! Please, just stay quiet so they can say what they need to.”

Jonathan muttered a quiet thanks before taking a deep breath, probably mentally preparing himself. “I’m just gonna say it.” He looked around, then directly at Steve, before addressing the whole group again. “Steve and I are dating.”

It was like Steve was able to watch all their reactions in slow motion. He mostly just felt Robin’s, her gasp and the way her neck almost fell off from how fast she turned to them. Eleven just nodded and went back to reading, he supposed they haven’t taught her all about what the world thinks about homosexuality? Max’s was kinda scary, she just smirked as if she was going through all the new material she had to tease Steve in her mind. Mike and Lucas both raised their eyebrows, they were comically up. Will’s eyes sparkled and widened at the revelation, he was surprised too. And Eddie was almost unreadable. His mouth slightly opened and he looked shocked, frozen.

Mike broke the silence. “There’s no way.”

“It’s true!” Dustin looked ready to defend them if anyone had something even remotely weird to say.

“You knew?!” Lucas almost shrieked.

“I did.” Dustin looked so proud.

Steve didn’t want to look at Robin right now, he had absolutely no idea how she might react. Or if she was gonna be mad about not knowing first. He felt a hand in his that wasn’t Jon, so he looked up to find Robin softly looking at him. She squeezed his hand. “Thanks for telling us, both of you.” She directed this to Jonathan, too.

“It’s kinda weird that you both dated the same girl,” Max started. “But I guess you’re cute, or whatever.”

“Cute or whatever.” El repeated. Still not paying much attention to them.

Steve laughed. “Thanks?” “I guess.” Added Jon.

The only ones who haven’t said anything were Will and Eddie. The rest of the room put their eyes on them.

“Oh. Um. Even if it’s kinda unexpected, that’s great.” Will nervously said. He looked around. “Right?” A chorus of yeses and rights filled the room. Steve could breathe easier.

“Yeah, great.” Eddie muttered. “We’re all happy for you guys.” His smile was small, almost subdued.

“Okay, now that that’s over,” Jonathan tried to end this conversation, the kids wouldn’t have that though.

“Wait! I have questions!” Lucas of all people exclaimed. “When was this?”

“Uh– well. We got together a few weeks ago. If that’s what you were asking.” Steve answered.

“When?”

“Like 2 weeks after.” Jon replied. They didn’t need to say after what, it was implied.

They answered all their questions with their planned answers.

Who made the first move? Actually Jonathan because Steve wanted to go at his pace.

How did they get together? Jonathan asked him after they came out to each other.

Were they in love? (This was El) At that, they got caught off guard, they didn’t expect someone to ask that. “We haven’t been together for long, El.” She didn’t seem to understand but left it alone after Max said she’d explain it to her later.

Everyone, like Dustin said, was supportive. Which they were grateful for. And Steve was also super happy for Will and Robin to see that their friends would support them too when they decided to come out.

Steve just didn’t know why Eddie was so quiet all of the sudden. He wasn’t like that, which made Steve worry he was actually not all that okay with this. He didn’t want that to be the case, he didn’t think that was the case. But people could surprise you sometimes.

Steve and Jonathan were holding hands while they answered questions. Whenever Steve chanced a glance at Eddie, he looked like he was staring at their hands but quickly redirected his gaze to something else. Steve felt uneasy.

All too soon it was time to go. Everyone was climbing the stairs, Jon was pulling his hand to get out of the basement. Eddie was still packing some of his stuff. Steve stopped walking. “Go ahead, I’ll catch up with you outside.” He told Jon and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He just nodded and left the basement. Now it was just Steve and Eddie.

“Hey, Eddie.”

“Yeah?”

“What’s up with you?” Steve hadn’t known Eddie for long. But during these last months they had developed a friendship, so Steve thought he knew Eddie an appropriate amount to know something was off.

Eddie’s eyes were slightly more open than usual. “Nothing’s up. Why do you think that?”

“Well, you were awfully quiet at the end there. Not really like you, is it?” Steve went up to Eddie so now they were standing in front of the other.

“Yeah, I’m just kinda tired you know.” He was looking down at his feet.

“You’re not… uncomfortable, are you?” Steve was scared that he might regret asking that. But the way Eddie wasn’t even looking at him right now, made it hard.

Eddie’s eyes widened and worry splayed over his face. “No!” He loudly said. “Not at all, please don’t think that.” He sighed. “I really am just tired, Steve. I promise.”

Steve nodded, maybe he was being paranoid. “Okay, I just. Well, I was worried for a sec.”

“I’m sorry.” Eddie moved his hand, like he was gonna rest it on Steve’s shoulder but then he aborted. Okay, that didn’t really help his case, but Steve wanted to believe him. “I know how I could’ve come across. But I’m happy for you, Steve. Um, both of you. You deserve it.” He smiled and didn’t give Steve time to respond before he bolted.

When Steve stepped outside, Eddie’s van was already gone. Will, Jon and Robin were waiting for him by his car.

“Just ‘cause you’re the boyfriend now doesn’t mean I’ll give you shotgun privileges, Byers. I hope you know that.” Robin deadpanned.

Jon put his arms up, innocently enough. “I didn’t expect you to.”

“Good.” Robin narrowed her eyes at him. “We’ll have to schedule our shovel talk, by the way.”

Will cackled while they all climbed into the car.

The ride was short, or more like it felt short. Steve didn’t even feel like time was passing with his friends making him laugh and happy.

He dropped off Jon and Will first. Jonathan gave him a peck on his cheek as a goodbye before he and Will entered their home.

Robin was awfully quiet when it was just the two of them left. She was unbuckling her seatbelt to get out when she decided to say something. “I could’ve sworn it was gonna take you longer to figure out your sexuality.” She looked at him, fondly. Steve was expecting a lot of things, but not that. “Even if I wasn’t given an exclusive, I’m happy for you, Dingus. Hope he treats you well.” She got out of the car with a salute, the dork.

What did Robin mean by all that?

-

This was like a whole other level of fucked up. The universe really liked to just tell Eddie “fuck you!” whenever it wanted. And this moment felt like it was up there, in the top 5.

It was one thing to have a crush on a straight friend, who was so unattainable that he didn’t even need to worry about ever bringing it up, outside of his mind. Steve was a great friend. Which just made him crush harder. It was so easy to almost, not completely, ignore it. Eddie had it all mapped out, he was gonna pine from afar until Steve got a girlfriend. Then he’d make himself get over him. He knew it wasn’t gonna be easy, but he had to. For his sanity.

Leave it to Jonathan freaking Byers, to throw that down the drain.

Eddie was well aware how bad his reaction was to the whole thing. He didn’t want Steve thinking the worst of him. He tried his best at reassuring him that he was happy for them! Even if he wasn’t at all. But at the end of the day, Eddie figured he’s still a coward. Because he ran so fast at the first opportunity he had to get out of there.

He supposed that now that Steve was taken, he still would have to get over him.

But it was so much worse now.

Steve being straight kinda softened the punch of any unrequited feelings Eddie had. He had to accept the cruel reality of Steve never even being able to return them. And he was sure he could live with that.

What he wasn’t sure he could live with is Steve liking guys, but still not liking him.

He bitterly wondered what could Jonathan possibly have that he didn’t. Which wasn’t fair at all because it wasn’t his fault that Steve would choose to date him instead of Eddie. Eddie even liked Jonathan.

This was gonna be torture. But Eddie knows that he was still gonna suffer through it. There wasn’t anything really, that could keep him away from Steve.

[stevie-petey]

mayhaps we could see steve’s pov of one of the times he saw reader and jon interacting at her job and what he thought of their interactions/intimacy with each other and his slight jealousy that he thinks comes from lack of people in his life but is actually his crush that he doesn’t realize he has yet

god i love the way yall think ,,, so so so excited to do this one <3

enjoy !

"god i love you, bee!" you press a loud and obnoxious kiss against jonathans cheek, and he lets out a laugh as his face goes red.

"of course ya do, bug."

steve watches from across the store. he'd been sent to go and retrieve some more books and comics for you to take home while you clean up around the shop. jonathan has just walked in to pick you up, and from the bag in his hand the way you reacted, steve figures that jonathan surprised you with something.

you open the bag and pull out a carton of ice cream and gasp. "howd you know ive been craving this all week?"

jonathan shrugs, as if its nothing, but steve can see the proudness thats hidden behind the nonchalance. "im a mind reader."

"you really are." you open the carton and smell the ice cream, letting out a dramatic sigh. "ugh, i could kiss you again."

steve continues to watch the two of you, his hand, which had been skimming one of the bookshelves, stops.

"as much as i love your weirdly wet cheek kisses, i think i'll pass."

you stick your tongue out at jonathan and giggle. he sticks his right back out at you and its so easy between the two of you.

bug and bee. the names slip from your mouths freely, a certain warmth emanates from you two. steve wonders what that must feel like, loving and being loved so easily.

hes never had that before, but the way you light up whenever jonathan walks into the room makes steve wish he had something like that, too.

with nancy, its not as easy as it seems to be with you and jonathan. steve thinks that maybe its just something unique to you two, everyone knows how long youve been friends and how eventually youll marry each other.

steve supposes he just needs more time with nancy, or maybe he needs to try a little harder, be a little better at this whole boyfriend thing.

lost in thought, steve doesnt see you approach until you wave a hand in front of his face. "hello? you alive in there, steve?"

"sorry, got uh..." he looks at the book his hand has landed on. "was just curious about the shining."

you frown. "you hate scary things."

"right," he shakes his head. "uh, so whats up?"

"jonathans here, im clocking out. wanted to say goodbye."

steve looks past your shoulder and sees jonathan waiting by the door. hes holding your carton of ice cream and is watching him with you. steve can see the trust in his eyes, the fondness of knowing youll return to his side in just a moment.

something twists in steves chest.

"i saw that cheek kiss you gave jonathan," steve teases, which you blush at. then, he taps his own cheek. "lay it on, right here."

you snort. "yeah, no."

steve laughs, but his chest twists again. "oh, guess we arent there yet-"

suddenly steve has your arms thrown around him and he stumbles back a bit. "or we can do this. this works."

"goodbye, steve." you give him one last squeeze, and then pull away far too soon for steves liking.

"bye, y/n."

you smile and wave, grabbing the books steve has found for you, and then walk back over to jonathans side, who surprises steve by also waving at him. steve waves back at you both, a small smile on his face. he lingers in the bookstore for a few moments afterwards.

steve can still smell your perfume on him long after he returns home that night.

[sineala]

Hi there. I just got interested in 616 Steve and Clint dynamic recently, and I wonder if you can recommend some titles highliting their relationship? Thank you. 🥰

Steve & Clint's friendship is seriously one of my favorite things about Avengers comics. We start out with Clint annoying the fuck out of Steve, and over a period of years we evolve to Clint continuing to annoy the fuck out of Steve except they care deeply about each other now. Clint learned how to be a leader from Steve, is extremely, extremely loyal, and will defend Steve in basically any circumstance. This is not to say that they don't disagree, because man do they ever disagree. But they're good friends. I think Steve likes having friends who aren't afraid to disagree with him.

(I didn't know until I read Young Avengers v1 for the first time last week that Kate became Hawkeye while Clint was dead, because Steve gave her the name, because he was impressed by how she stood up to him. You might have thought Clint would have given her the name after he came back to life, but no. Whoever annoys Steve the most gets to be Hawkeye. Apparently that's the rule. What's really funny is that Steve also does this again to someone else in the current miniseries Avengers Twilight, for the same reason. Who gives him the most shit? You're Hawkeye now! It's great.)

So! A list of Fun Comics About Steve And Clint!

The obvious starting place is the Kooky Quartet era of the Avengers. This begins in Avengers #16 when Clint joins the team. For those of you who don't have this issue memorized, in Avengers #16 Steve is off fighting villains by himself in another country, when the rest of the founding Avengers decide they need a break. So Steve finds out when he gets back that they're all leaving, that he's the new leader, and that his new teammates are Quicksilver, the Scarlet Witch, and Hawkeye, none of whom he knows, all of whom are former criminals and/or villains. I don't know when the Kooky Quartet era officially ends, but I can tell you that the team mostly contains Pietro and Wanda until #47, so I suppose that's the end of the Quartet. I read up to #35 relatively recently so I can tell you there's good Steve & Clint stuff up to at least that far, and probably farther. You get to see their relationship evolve into them deciding that maybe they actually like each other.

There are also a lot of retellings of early canon (and newer stories set in the past) that will give you glimpses of the Kooky Quartet era with a more modern sensibility. The thing I'm thinking of here is Avengers #1.1 to #4.1 by Mark Waid, which was a miniseries released in 2017 as part of Mark Waid's Avengers v7. I think the wiki lists it under v7; it was released in trade with the title Avengers Four, which isn't confusing at all. Anyway, it's all Kooky Quartet and it's great. You know how Waid's Man Out of Time series kind of rewrites and expands Avengers #4 to tell a new story? This is like that but for Avengers #16.

You might also consider series that are entirely early-canon retellings like Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes (the miniseries, not the cartoon); I know that definitely goes up to the Quartet and beyond. There are two volumes of this series.

I unfortunately can't tell you what happens in most of v1 off the top of my head, but I can give you a list of Avengers v1 issues in which both Steve and Clint are on the team, because I have a big list of team rosters. After Avengers #62, Clint changes his codename to Goliath for a bit, but he's still there until #111 (mostly with Steve also on the team), then #142-147, then #172-177, then #181-182, then #221-232. This takes you up to the mid-1980s. After that, except for a few scattered issues, Clint and Steve aren't both on the Avengers again until volume 3, in 1998. (You will note that this is also true of Steve and Tony, and in fact it's for the exact same reason -- both Clint and Tony are on the West Coast Avengers, in California, for pretty much the rest of v1. Clint's other Avengers v1 appearances are #305, #309, #313, #397-401. So it's not a lot there.)

But, don't worry, Clint also has several cameo appearances in Captain America v1. Unlike Avengers, I don't have a handy list of these, so you can probably just go through Clint's appearances list on the Marvel wiki and see which ones are in Cap comics. I can tell you the three that stick with me, though! Two of them are Cap #316 and #317, where Clint and Bobbi come back to New York for a visit, and Steve and Bernie break up so that Bernie can go to law school in Wisconsin, and Bernie throws a party on her last night there that Steve is supposed to attend, except Steve fucks off to go superheroing with Clint. They talk about their love lives and Clint gets to use Steve's shield and Steve gets to use Clint's bow. Steve gets back to find out that he has entirely missed the party and Bernie has finally left him. Can't imagine why.

My other pick is Cap #401, which if you are a Steve/Tony fan you will know is the issue after Operation Galactic Storm where Tony finds Steve in a bar to apologize for everything he's ever done. But the reason Steve is in the bar in the first place is that Clint got sick of Steve sulking and came and jumped on his bed until Steve gave in and went out for a drink with Clint.

Clint does then of course make him talk about his feelings. It's a very sweet interlude of Clint cheering Steve up in his own unique way.

Volume 3 is the next time Steve and Clint are together on the Avengers since Clint left for the West Coast -- and, I mean, it's a good read anyway. This is when I set the one Steve/Clint fic I actually wrote, so here we see my biases. Clint starts out on the team right in Avengers v3 #1, and he stays there until #10, which is when he leaves to lead the Thunderbolts. (Note to self: read Thunderbolts.) You'd think at this point that Clint wouldn't be back with Avengers for a while, but he immediately comes back in #12 and brings his new Thunderbolts and gets into a fight with Steve about whether the T-Bolts can be trusted. Clint later pays the team another visit in the Avengers/Thunderbolts crossover "The Nefaria Protocols" (Avengers v3 #32-34, Thunderbolts v1 #43-44 -- but, you know, in more of an interspersed order) which is a lot of fun and I'm not just saying that because I have a 160,000-word Steve/Tony WIP that is set during it. Anyway. Kurt Busiek started out writing both Avengers and Thunderbolts in this era of canon, but by the time this crossover happened, Fabian Nicieza had taken over Thunderbolts.

There is also a second Avengers/Thunderbolts crossover during this timeframe, the 2004 miniseries Avengers/Thunderbolts #1-6, by Busiek and Nicieza. I haven't actually read it because I wanted to read more Thunderbolts first, but I can tell you it does have both Clint and Steve in it, although it's set after Clint has stopped leading the T-Bolts and has returned to the Avengers.

Yes, Clint does actually rejoin the Avengers proper toward the end of v3 -- he's there from #75 right up to #503 (it renumbered to #500 after #84), although I suspect that that's when he actually dies, because that's Avengers Disassembled. The only Steve & Clint interaction in that time period that really sticks in my mind is Avengers v3 #77, in which Clint takes it upon himself to give Steve some romantic advice that Steve definitely isn't asking for.

(If you've seen any of this issue at all, it's probably an out-of-context panel of Steve telling Clint he didn't say he wanted a woman.)

Once again, Clint also makes some cameos in Steve's comics, in Captain America v3. The one that's memorable to me is in the Capmania arc of Cap v3, which is the very first arc, #1-7. The TPB version of this appears to be called To Serve and Protect. Mostly I remember Clint giving Steve shit about Captain America's new, massive popularity (which turns out to be an evil Skrull plan).

So after Avengers Disassembled, Clint is dead until after Civil War, at which point Steve is also dead, so they're, uh, not interacting much. However, even though Steve is dead, you probably want to read Fallen Son (specifically #3), which is the issue where Tony learns that Clint is alive again and then immediately tries to get him to be Captain America because Tony only has the best and healthiest coping mechanisms when Steve is dead. Clint tries out the shield and uniform and then basically tells Tony to go fuck himself. So that's a no from him. While he's running around dressed as Captain America is also when he meets Kate for the first time and finds out that she's Hawkeye. Everyone is very angsty about everything because that's just what Civil War comics are like.

(I guess I should have known after reading this comic how Kate got her name, but, as I said. I hadn't read Young Avengers until last week, so everything the Young Avengers did in this comic didn't really register.)

The next time Steve and Clint are both alive at the same time is Avengers v4. Clint is on the team for the whole run (#1-34). Technically Steve is Commander Rogers of the Secret Avengers up until after Fear Itself, so he doesn't actually rejoin the team until #18, but he spends a lot of the first half of the run hanging around the Avengers anyway for some reason (it's because he's deeply weird about Tony). So you might as well start from the beginning because Steve's there a lot despite technically not being on the team. I can't say that Steve and Clint have any memorable moments in v4 that are coming to mind right now, but they are both there and it's a reasonably fun run.

Speaking of the Secret Avengers, Steve runs the Secret Avengers until #21. Clint runs them from #22 onward (Steve stays for the first couple issues of Clint's tenure, #22 and #23). Don't ask me how Clint can lead the Secret Avengers and be on the regular Avengers at the same time when Steve apparently can't do this, but this seems to be a thing Clint can do. It's probably because Clint's not weird about Tony. Anyway, the issue you actually want to read is Secret Avengers #21.1, where Steve actually hands the Secret Avengers over to Clint and they do some superheroing together, just like old times.

Clint was on the Avengers during Hickman's run, as was Steve, because pretty much everyone was on Hickman's Avengers at some point (seriously, have you seen those team rosters?) but I don't know that Clint and Steve had any really good moments. There was that bit in one of the Original Sin tie-ins (#30) where Future Clint told Steve he should kill Tony but I don't think that was a very good moment. I'm not sure that Steve and Clint have been on a team together since then because I honestly don't think Clint's been on the main team since then, though they've both shown up in events and so on. I guess you could read Avengers Millennium. That had both of them and it had some fun moments for them, by which I mean that one panel where Clint watches Steve punch out a lion.

In terms of Clint's cameo appearances in Cap comics of this era, I know Clint's been in Brubaker's run, although the only moment with Steve I can honestly remember is when he gets mad at Steve for not telling him Bucky was the Winter Soldier, in the Trial arc. And -- not by Brubaker but at the same approximate time -- there's a Captain America & Hawkeye series (#629-632).

It's part of the same series of Cap team-ups that includes One Night In Madripoor (Captain America & Iron Man #633-635), and in fact these are the issues that are right before One Night in Madripoor.

It's fun. Steve gets turned into a dinosaur.

So you might wonder at this point whether Steve appears in any of Clint's solo comics, and sadly I can't really answer that because I haven't read a lot of Clint's solo comics and the ones I did read didn't have a whole lot of Steve that I remember. Mostly I've read Fraction and some of the really early Hawkeye minis. @blossomsinthemist recommends the miniseries Hawkeye: Blindspot (2011), which I have not read but which does have Clint and Steve on the cover, which seems promising in terms of its potential to contain both Steve and Clint.

I looked at the beginning and it appears to be set in early Avengers v4. You see what I mean about Steve just hanging around the team. This is apparently following on from the events of the 2011 miniseries Widowmaker, and it's about Clint going blind. All the angst.

There are probably more Hawkeye solo comics that feature Steve but I don't know what they are.

To recap, in list form, vaguely ordered by Avengers comics in an era and then Cap comics in the same era:

Kooky Quartet: Avengers v1 #16-47

Avengers Four (Avengers v7 #1.1-4.1)

Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes v1 & v2

Avengers v1 #48-111, #142-147, #172-177, #181-182, #221-232, #305, #309, #313, #397-401

Captain America v1 #316-317

Captain America v1 #401

Avengers v3 #1-10, #12

The Nefaria Protocols: Avengers v3 #32-34, Thunderbolts v1 #43-44

Avengers/Thunderbolts (2004) #1-6

Avengers v3 #75-503 (esp. #77)

Captain America v3 #1-7

Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America #3

Avengers v4 #18-34

Secret Avengers v1 #21.1 (and #22 and #23 if you want)

Avengers: Millennium #1-6

Captain America & Hawkeye #629-632

Hawkeye: Blindspot #1-4

I hope that gives you someplace to get started!

[angstics]

nonsense deadpool & wolverine rant

ive been talking about deadpool 3 for days over on twitter -- which is a lot for a movie i was meh about and will forget in 2 weeks (like i have all other deadpool films). BUT i like thinking about how gay ppl & themes are treated in popular film and this is probably going to be the biggest "gay themed" film this year ... which is sad considering this is the year of 2 luca guadagnino films and monkey man and tv glow et al. anyhow. this was a big hit in fandom -- which should not be a surprise considering the mcu and comics fandoms. the "this was sooooo gay" response has been irritating, and so has the counter-argument. the text may not be a gay text but it DOES use gay elements in its text. like Obviously so. to the point that it's hard to discern whether it's appropriation or meaningful, a homophobic joke or somewhat earnest... and why???

part of it will always be the comic characterization of deadpool as a hypersexual pansexual freak who sexually harasses men because that has been deemed highlarious. there's at least one joke recycled (about being tied up together and getting an erection), replacing spiderman in the comics with wolverine in the movie. i can easily see straight men playing these jokes with each other -- i probably have on youtube. this is what makes the "you cant deny this is gay" thing fandom people say sooooooooooooooooooo annoying -- HOMOSEXUAL encounters are not limited to people with THE GAY GENE. straight men sexually harass their friends ("friends") all the time. allllll the time. what makes someone (and a relationship) gay is intention and affection and desire and identity and cultural place -- and a billion other things. there are many movies about two men (and less about two women) who everyone sees as super gay... defiant ones (1958) comes to mind since i recently was reminded of it. heat 1995, thelma & louise 1991. dead poets society 1989 also comes to mind. but no one Serious is claiming this is the dominant (as in "common") reading or INTENDED meaning -- no one is saying these are gay characters in gay relationships. they arent like fried green tomatoes 1991 or midnight cowboy 1969 or rebel without a cause 1955, where it was verifiably gay in some way.

there's a phenomena where a character / relationship (probably) wasnt supposed to be gay, but it came off that way UNDENIABLY because they borrowed too much from gay experiences -- like scream 1992, or very commonly in terms of trans experiences: psycho 1960, silence of the lambs 1991, synecdoche new york 2008. and fraiser lol. Every movie is different and has a different way of doing things which result in different suggestions and conclusions and interpretations and impacts. Big surprise.

deadpool 3 obscures these boundaries in this new pseudo-progressive age. but it is still inaccurate to pretend it was "gay coding" -- as in they were hiding a gay story via Big Subtext and using a straight story to sell a gay movie (which i have seen suggested the use of DP's ex). i cant fucking believe we're still doing destiel conspiracies. im sure stucky had a similar reaction this deadpool ship has (and the spideypool ship), but i think it is understood that Steve Whatshisname wasnt and would never be gay (Bucky could be, he has time).

the misunderstanding comes in the blurring. it's like in the middle of a political compass. ok fine i made one

some moments obviously meant to evoke a gay spirit: bar scene, car scene, madonna scene, "introducing the boyfriend" scene, the Appreciation of the Male Body & Fighting as Fucking theme (note that DP's lesbians were just standing there in 2 scenes?)

Deadpool (and Wolverine) really are pan: an alternate Wolverine is in love w the Mythic Hercules in a comic series (and maybe Cyclops? Subtextually? Throupley?). deadpool is well known in comics, but he does off-hand talk about having non-vaginal sex (? or masturbating?) in this movie

what is romantic is defined by DP's LI: the movie cant hide behind everything being a joke when it has a guiding emotional core consisting of DP's lost (female) love, who he can express affection and attraction to in both serious and comedic contexts

No honest romantic or sexual tension: i have seen movies with subtextual / coded tension and this doesnt have it. it's no popped champagne bottle, or face caressed in blood. there is also no story. i havent mentioned this yet but this movie has a really lackluster story between dp & wolverine that doesnt allow for much interpretation even in a platonic or narrative sense

all these things are true at once, and ignoring one aspect for another doesnt make sense of the film (and characters and audience reaction) as a whole. at the end of the day............. it doesnt matter........ i only really care about being accurate and respecting film history & gay history & continuing to call for gay gay gay stories in popular film. dp3 made a lot of gay jokes that were genuinely unexpected, so it isnt LE FOU 2. but it isnt the end of the line. this was a good thread that described the split well

[cosmicanamnesis]

he tastes like chocolate (everybody loves a coffee shop au) pt. 4

[part 1] [part 3] [part 5] [read on ao3]

December 30th, evening

Eddie was close to finishing his day, hiding at the front desk with Barb, when Steve walked back past the shop on his way home. Frantically Eddie opened the camera on his phone and took an almost comically bad picture of Steve as he was walking away. He hadn't heard from Steve at all since that first text, but it might have been his fault for not giving him anything to make conversation off of. He sent Steve the picture and hoped for a response while he and Barb started their closing duties.

"You talking to Steve?" she asked, catching him texting by the back door when he was supposed to be running the trash out.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry," Eddie looked up, startled, and realized he was still holding a trash bag in his other hand. "I just… I want to hang out with him, just us, before I drag him to the party, y'know? Let him actually get to know me a little before I freak him out."

"You won't freak him out," Barb assured him.

"I might!" Eddie whined. "You've seen videos of our shows! The guy wears polo shirts, B, I have a crush on a fucking normie!"

I would love to, actually, yeah!

"Go take the trash out, dummy," Barb said as Eddie smiled at his phone.

"Yeah, I will, one sec."

wanna just meet me here? i havent left yet

Be there soon!

:)

Eddie tapped his phone against his thigh, biting his lip, trying not to look like a crazy person. Then it hit him: He had no plan here. And he had approximately ten minutes to come up with one. Could be worse.

He tried not to rush his clean up duties, but found himself cleaning faster than usual anyway. 

“That was efficient,” Barb said as Eddie clocked out.

“Um, thanks? I guess?”

“Anxious?”

“Very.”

“He’s meeting you here?”

“Yup.”

“You’re not gonna freak him out.”

“If I don’t, Gareth will,” Eddie said pointedly. He knew how his friends were. This needed to work out if he had any chance here. He bounced on the balls of his feet a few times and sighed, staring out the window. “Okay… Cool cool cool. I’m gonna wait out front.”

“Tell me how it goes!” Barb waved as he left.

Eddie lit a cigarette as soon as he was outside, and stood off to the side so no one in the shop could see him, leaning against the concrete barrier between the tattoo parlor’s storefront and the hair salon next door. It helped settle his nerves, and he figured Steve might as well learn about his vices from the get go before Eddie let himself get too emotionally attached. It was dark out, but the strip was well-lit, though there wasn’t much foot traffic this time of the evening. He stared directly across the street, trying not to look up the road for Steve every thirty seconds.

Finally he heard footsteps coming towards him and let himself look. Steve waved at him as he passed under a streetlight, quickly shoving his hand back in his coat pocket. Eddie hoped it was too dark for Steve to tell he was blushing, or at the very least too cold.

“Hey,” Steve huffed. Eddie could see his breath. His whole face was flushed pink. Eddie wanted to kiss him.

Woah. That came out of nowhere.

“Hi,” Eddie smiled and took a drag off his cigarette. Steve’s expression was borderline unreadable. “Sorry,” Eddie said, holding the cigarette a little further from Steve, just in case.

“Huh? Oh, no, you’re fine. You can smoke. I used to- Well, I didn’t really quit, Robin just doesn’t let me smoke at the apartment.” Steve could physically feel himself turning more and more into Robin as he rambled. He realized Eddie thought he was judging his smoking, when really he was just staring. Eddie was just pretty, and Steve was a nervous wreck.

Eddie nodded, and offered the cigarette out to him with a hum.

“You sure?” Steve asked, halfway pulling a hand out of his pocket. Eddie just shrugged. “Thanks.”

Eddie watched as the ember illuminated his face in dim orange light when he took a drag. He couldn’t kiss him, but sharing a cigarette was close enough for now.

“If Robin yells at you for smelling like smoke, you can just blame me,” Eddie joked. Steve smiled, exhaling smoke through his teeth.

“Oh, don’t worry, I will.” Steve passed the cigarette back. “So, what’s the plan?”

“I dunno. Have you eaten yet?”

“I’ve had coffee?”

“Dude. That so doesn’t count!” Eddie scolded, but he couldn’t keep a straight face.

“What are you, my mother?” Steve laughed. Eddie passed him the cigarette again.

“Well, I’m starving, so I’m getting food. And it sort of sounds like you’re stuck with me, unless you want to listen to your roommate getting it on with some guy.”

“Girl. Robin’s gay. Which is almost worse, honestly. I’ve had to stay the night at other people’s houses before.”

Eddie started walking back the direction Steve came from, and he was right, Steve didn’t really have a choice but to follow.

“What about her? You kick her out of the house when you bring someone home, too?”

“I mean,” Steve ran a hand through his hair. “I haven’t really had anybody to bring home since we moved in together… But even if I did, I honestly don't know if she'd leave. The woman has, like, no boundaries… Except the word boobies. She hates when I say that.” Eddie laughed and flicked the cherry out of the cigarette, holding the empty filter in his fist.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “How long have you guys lived together?”

“Uh… Little over a year now, I think?” Eddie stopped dead on the sidewalk, staring at Steve in disbelief. Steve made it about two more steps before he realized Eddie wasn’t at his side anymore. “What?”

“You haven’t had a girlfriend in a year? I don’t believe you.”

“What? Why not?”

Because you are obscenely hot and wildly charismatic! No, he couldn’t say that. He kept walking.

“I dunno, like… Look at you! You look like that and you work in a coffee shop, I guess I just thought people would be throwing themselves at you.”

Steve ducked his head, trying to hide the blush warming his face.

“Well, turns out after high school, looking like me doesn’t really help a guy out when he works a minimum wage job and lives with his female best friend.”

“Fuck off. I bet plenty of people are secretly in love with you,” Eddie laughed. God, could he sound any more desperate?

“I doubt it,” Steve chuckled. “It’s not like I’m some interesting tattoo artist who has his own band or anything.” He shot Eddie a sideways glance.

“Aw, you think I’m interesting?” Eddie said sweetly, knocking into Steve’s shoulder.

“Less and less by the second,” Steve retorted.

Eddie tossed the cigarette butt he was carrying in the garbage can on the next corner.

“Good,” he said. “I’m not that interesting. I’m also not a tattoo artist yet. I am in a band, I’ll give you that, but we’re barely even known on the local scene. It’s not going great.”

“Well, are you in the band to get famous or are you in the band to share your art?”

Eddie hadn’t ever thought about it like that. “To share the art, I guess… Honestly I don’t know what I would do if we were famous famous. We’d probably kill each other if we ever had to do a national tour.” That made Steve laugh.

“I’m excited to see you guys play,” he said. “I imagine some kind of… Hard rock or metal sort of deal?” He gestured vaguely to Eddie’s vest. Eddie smiled.

“Yeah, basically. Think… Metallica, Black Sabbath, shit like that.”

“I would love to, but I have… never actually listened to them.”

“Are you serious?” Eddie almost yelled, grabbing Steve’s arm. “Oh my god. Okay. I promise you, you have at least heard some of their stuff if you’ve ever, like, listened to a radio station you didn’t pick. I promise.”

“I believe you,” Steve laughed. “I just can’t name any of their stuff, I guess.”

Eddie started rifling through his pockets. “Shit… I don’t have my headphones. The one fucking time…” He grumbled. “Okay. We’re gonna get food, we’re gonna walk back to my car, I am making you listen to Metallica at least.”

“Yeah, sure. Like you said, I don’t really have other options. I’m sure whatever you’re about to make me listen to is gonna be preferable to listening to whatever Robin is doing.”

“In here,” Eddie grabbed Steve’s arm and dragged him suddenly off to the side. To call the joint a restaurant would be generous, and to call it a hole in the wall would be an understatement. There was no one at the counter when they came in. The lobby had one table and a soda fountain and absolutely nothing else. 

“Did you just drag me into a closet that serves food?”

“Best Mexican within walking distance,” Eddie smiled. A young woman, no, a fucking teenager came out of the back.

“Evening, guys,” she said, pulling her hair back. “Know what you want?”

“Do you trust me?” Eddie asked, smiling at Steve.

“I guess?”

“Wait, you’re not like, vegan, are you?” Steve burst out laughing.

“No, and I’m not allergic to anything, either.”

“Awesome.”

Steve hung back while Eddie went up to the counter and ordered for both of them, speaking more casually to this kid than he ever had when he was ordering at the Waystation. He still paid in cash, and dropped his change in the tip jar. The girl took their ticket to the back, yelling loudly in Spanish that Steve caught maybe every fifth word of.

“Wanna sit?” Eddie asked, tipping his head towards the small table. He had two empty cups in his hand and made his way back towards the soda fountain.

“Sure,” Steve pulled a chair out and sat down, watching Eddie fill one cup with lemonade. 

“What do you want?” he asked, setting the cup under the ice dispenser.

“Uh, Dr. Pepper, I guess.” It was one of those machines, he realized, that only had weird sodas. Eddie nodded and filled the cup, bringing both to the table.

“You’re looking at me funny, what’d I do?” he asked, sliding in across from Steve.

“Nothing, sorry,” Steve said, smiling as he looked down at his own hands.

“Like hell.”

“... How come you never smile like that when you order from me?” Steve tried to keep a sort-of-joking tone to his voice. Eddie raised an eyebrow at him.

“Because Izzy is sixteen and I'm scary-looking," he said, like it was somehow obvious. "If you looked terrified of me every time I came in, I'd be that nice to you, too."

"Oh, it's that easy, is it?" Steve laughed. “You aren’t that nice to Chrissy.”

“Which one’s Chrissy?”

“Blonde? Big eyes? Never had a zit in her life?”

Eddie just shrugged. “I’m sure I’ve seen her.”

“She thinks you’re weird.”

“I am weird,” Eddie smiled, sipping his lemonade.

“Maybe. I dunno, you seem pretty normal to me. She says you’re unapproachable. Standoffish.”

“Am I not?”

“I don’t think so.”

They stared at each other for a long moment before the teenager, Izzy, brought their order out in a brown paper bag. 

“Thanks, Iz,” Eddie said gratefully. She smiled at him and retreated again to the back.

“Figured we could take this back to my van?” Eddie said, grabbing the bag. “Eat and I can make you listen to decent music?”

“Sure,” Steve shrugged. Eddie smiled and stood up, and held the door for him on their way out.

“You live over here somewhere?” Eddie guessed, holding the bag of food half under his arm.

“Yeah, um. Down that way,” Steve pointed down the road as they crossed the street. “For being a downtown apartment, it’s actually not that shitty.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

“What about you?”

“What about me what?”

“Where do you live?”

“Oh, nowhere near here. Like, twenty minutes…” Eddie spun around as they walked, ending up facing backwards. “That way? Ish?” He pointed somewhere in the distance.

“In the suburbs?”

“I guess?”

“Fair enough. Did you grow up here?”

“Nah… Well, kind of. Grew up near here, but I moved in with my uncle in high school and he lives here.”

“Your uncle, huh?” Steve asked. “Just like, for school?”

“Yeah, but also, no…” Eddie was really trying to avoid the subject, but Steve wasn’t getting it. “My parents… I mean. It doesn’t really matter, but… They weren’t stellar.”

“Oh.” Steve said. He had a lot of questions, but he also didn’t want to be invasive. “Mine either.”

“Yeah?” Eddie glanced over at him, leading him back into a parking lot by their work building.

“Yeah… I guess it doesn’t really matter either. Just. I get it. Glad you had somewhere else to go,” Steve said, following Eddie to his van.

Eddie handed him the bag of food while he struggled with the lock on the back.

"Are you here for school?" he asked, trying three times before the back of the van finally unlatched. Stupid piece of shit fucking car.

"Nah," Steve shrugged, trying not to drop their dinner. "My dad wanted me to do the whole, y'know, college thing. But it's just not for me, I think?"

"What the hell are you doing here, then?" Eddie asked, climbing into the back of the van. He gestured to Steve to give him the bag before Steve climbed in behind him, pulled the doors shut after.

"Rob's in school. Music major. Met her working a summer job after I graduated high school. She asked if I'd move in with her and split rent so she wouldn't have to dorm with anybody, so. Here I am."

"That's pretty sweet," Eddie said, distributing food. He leaned over the center console to turn the van on so they could have heat and music. Steve watched as he pulled a handful of cassettes out of the glove box.

"Jesus, dude, how old is this car?" he asked, watching Eddie choose a tape. The van only had a cassette deck.

"Younger than me," he huffed, sliding the cassette in. "Old enough it's hard to get replacement parts for."

They opened their to-go boxes and ate quietly for a minute while Eddie's music played in the background. It wasn't Steve's usual choice, but it wasn't bad either. He made a mental note to find out what the album was and save it later.

"Damn, this is like. Real Mexican food," Steve said, his mouth still half-full.

"It's good, right?" Eddie smiled. "So where are you from that you met Robin while she was in school?"

"Here, more or less. Well. No. We went to high school together like, an hour… That way?" Steve pointed in his best guess of where their hometown was. "But I didn't actually meet her till later. Then she was like hey, you don't completely suck, move in with me," Steve put on a tone that Robin really wouldn't have appreciated. 

"Oh yeah, of course. That's what I look for in all my roommates," Eddie laughed.

"Naturally. It's foolproof," Steve deadpanned. Eddie covered his mouth with his first, giggling but trying not to choke. 

"I really thought you guys were together," Eddie admitted once he could breathe again.

"We get that a lot… Friend of mine, this kid I used to babysit, he really tried to get us together until Robs came out to everybody."

"Oof," Eddie tried not to laugh. "How'd he take that?"

Steve paused a moment, smiling as he recalled the memory, before setting his food down on the floor of the van and doing his best Dustin impression, hand gestures and all. 

"You mean you're the first girl that is top to bottom perfect for Steve, and you're fucking gay?? I'm sorry, Steve, but you might actually be hopeless."

Eddie leaned back against the wall of the van, clutching his sides in hysterics.

"Does he still try to play matchmaker for you?" he asked, taking a deep breath to calm himself back down.

"Less matchmaker now that he's twenty one, more wingman, but he is… God, I hate to say it, but he is a terrible wingman," Steve laughed. Eddie started cackling again. "Like, every girl he meets at the bars, and every gay man, he's like, oh have you met Steve? And it's never even got me a one night stand, dude. He's awful!"

Eddie had practically fallen over laughing as Steve recounted his tale of his garbage wingman.

"I can't even go to our regular bars by myself anymore! People look at me all weird!"

"Let me guess," Eddie said, trying to control his laughter. "He turned twenty one either right before or right after you moved in with Robin?"

"Before," Steve said, playing with his food. "I can't go to any of the bars back home, either."

"Well, maybe he's just not looking in the right places."

"He tries to set me up with people at work, too. And people in his classes. And his TAs. And this one math professor he had… In his defense, I was the one that rejected the math teacher, he's not just constantly underselling me."

"Sounds like he doesn't really know how to pitch you, though."

"How do you mean?"

"I mean if some dork came up to me in a bar and just said hey, my friend is hopelessly single, you seem cool, would you talk to him, and the friend in question looked like you… I'd be inclined to talk."

"I'll make sure to tell him that next time I see him," Steve chuckled. "Hey, hang on, I know this song!" He looked at the tape deck, forgetting there wasn't a screen there to tell him what the song was.

"Probably, it's one of their more popular ones," Eddie shrugged.

"Do a lot of people cover it? I think the version I know is a cover."

"Oh yeah," Eddie nodded emphatically. "Fuckin' everybody covers it. It's dead simple, too. I think I learned it by ear in like a week."

"Isn't it like ten minutes long?" Steve laughed. 

"Eh, like eight and a half."

"Yeah, no, my friend, the wingman, he listens to this one band… I don't know what they're called, but they've got a cover of it. Makes me play their stuff anytime I drive him anywhere."

"Sounds like the guy has good taste."

"Yeah, he's alright."

Steve started eating again, giving Eddie a chance to check the time.

"Oh, god damn it," he muttered.

"Hm?" Steve glanced up at him.

"Huh? Oh, nothing, just. Missed a call from my uncle, hang on…" Wayne never left voicemails, to Eddie's chagrin. He never knew what was in store for him when he called back. Someone could be dead for all he knew, or he might have mail. He hit redial and put the phone to his ear. Wayne answered on the fourth ring.

"Hey, I'm with a friend right now, what's up?... Yes, that one… Did you need something or-? Yeah, I can… I dunno, later? Oh, no, absolutely not- no-" Eddie sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "My uncle wants to meet you," he said, giving Steve a world-weary look.

"Why?" Steve laughed. Eddie shrugged.

"Why do you want to- No. I'm not saying that. I- Christ. Steve, do you care if I drag you on an errand?"

Steve checked his phone, knowing full well Robin hadn't given him the all clear yet. 

"Yeah, fine. 'M not doing anything else."

"Cool. Yeah, give me like an hour… Okay… Love you too, bye," Eddie let his phone fall to the floor as he buried his face in his hands, grumbling something Steve couldn't hear.

"-god damn crotchety motherfucker," Eddie moved his hands away from his face enough for Steve to catch the end of his rant. "Sorry."

"No, you're fine. What did he want?"

“We’re just out of some stuff at the house, he asked me to stop by the grocery store on my way home. Obviously I didn’t let him know about us hanging out until just now cause, uh. It’s not like we planned it ahead of time.” 

“Yeah, that’s fair. So why does he want to meet me?”

Eddie shrugged, leaning back against the wall of the van. “He likes to meet my friends,” he explained. “Likes to have a face to go with the name.” 

That’s not really what Wayne had said at all. He wanted to meet Steve so he could appraise the man his nephew was so strung out for. Obviously Eddie couldn’t say that to Steve’s face, and he hoped his uncle would have enough tact to not say it when they met, either.

“Well, no point keeping him waiting, I guess,” Steve said, setting aside his empty to go box. Eddie nodded and climbed into the driver’s seat, Steve following close behind.

------------

the more i write this, the more i feel like i'm diverging from the coffee shop au label but it's cute and fun anyway, so. whatever

tagging: @original-cypher @avacrebss @dangdirtydemons @rainydays35 @changenamelater @phantypurple @alienace @renaissan-vvitch @krazyperson @steddiereid @kittsu-makes-glass @i-must-potato @jaywhohasthegay @henderdads @mightbeasleep @straight4joekeery @sharingisntkaren @micheledawn1975 @thehumblefigtree @goodolefashionedloverboi @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @potentialheartofdarkness(you didn't ask but i saw ur tags so i thought you'd appreciate it)

@dreammetheworld08 @steveisabicon @biatcgh @alittlegreyfish i don't know why but you guys don't come up when i try to tag you. if y'all see this, lmk if you are actually getting a notification bc if not, i can just shoot y'all messages when new parts go up (i have. literally nothing else going on. it's no extra hassle or anything, i just don't wanna be weird). AND if anybody knows why this is happening and/or how to fix it, please tell me

[fancoloredglasses]

Captain America (Could you stop the film, please? I think I'm going to be sick), part 1

(Thanks to Chas Blankenship)

[All images are owned by Marvel Disney and 21st Century Films MGM. Please don’t sue me]

Oh gods…where to start…

First off, I had previously reviewed a pre-MCU interpretation of Captain America. This film, made over a decade later, was supposed to be a theatrical release in conjunction with the 50th anniversary of the character. Unfortunately, it missed the anniversary by a year…as a direct-to-DVD release (mainly due to reviews being savage). I’ll get to the bad acting and poor writing choices lates, but I want to address on HORRIBLE costuming choice first…

CAPTAIN AMERICA’S COWL HAS RUBBER EARS!

WHY?!?!

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way…

One of the first issues with the film is casting an inexperienced actor in the title role:

Matt Salinger, son of Catcher In The Rye author JD Salinger. Now, I’m not saying nepotism was involved, but…

Salinger looked the part but lacked the ability to pull off being the center of attention. The writing certainly didn’t help matters either.

Of course, you can’t have a Captain America film without the Red Skull. However, in this film he is not Johann Schmidt, Nazi (and VERY German) zealot who volunteered for the procedure that transformed him. Instead, he is Tadzio de Santis, an Italian boy who was kidnapped after his family was slaughtered by Mussolini’s forces, then subjected to the procedure and brainwashed.

There are one or two names worth mentioning in the cast (neither of the main characters are) that I’ll cover when they’re introduced, but now…on with the show.

If you would like to watch the film, it’s available out YouTube or behind your favorite paywall.

We open in Italy in 1936, 3 years before the start of WW2 (for those who didn’t pay attention in history class) where a young boy is doing a piano recital (with a tape machine recoding it for posterity) in his home when Italian troops break through the window and enter (wouldn’t the front door be easier since you’re destroying property anyway?)  The father objects and is gunned down for his trouble. Mussolini then orders the boy to be taken as his troops slaughter the rest of the family while they make him watch.. Why this particular boy?

Oh sure, that makes sense. Take a prodigy against his will and kill his family. I’m sure he’ll be totally cooperative after that! Besides, the kid is what, thirteen at most? Surely there are genius adults they could recruit, or maybe Mussolini could’ve just appealed to the family’s sense of patriotism and asked for the boy for the good of the country.

 We then switch to an Italian fortress where we have an Italian officer showing a bunch of German officers a film of a rat for some reason, then reveals…

…and this is a good thing???

The Italian claims the rat is much stronger and more intelligent (yeah, but good luck getting it a date in Saturday night!)

We are then introduced to Dr. Vaselli, who created the process (as opposed to Dr. Erskine in the comics, since he’s German and the producers wanted to do this in Italy for some reason), who is appalled that the military is using her process on the bot (you mean she’d be less appalled if they used it on an adult?) so they have her restrained, but she breaks free and flees.

We then fast forward to 1943 (three years after Cap’s comic debut? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to kidnap an older lad and have this be 1940?)

President Roosevelt is being briefed on Project Rebirth, which is Dr. Veselli’s research now in the hands of the Americans.

The President is told that the first volunteer (at least he wasn’t kidnapped?) as a man named Steve Rogers. Should the test be successful, many more will follow.

Out in California (wait, isn’t Steve from Brooklyn? Can’t the writers get ANY details right?) Steve gives a tearful goodbye to his friends and family before Uncle Sam comes to retrieve him.

Steve is then whisked away to a secret lab, where Steve is pumped full of whatever Vaselli’s formula is and electricity until……

(Thanks to Video Club Random)

[QUICK NOTE: Lt. Fleming is played by Bill Mumy, who played Will Robinson on Lost In Space and Lennier on Babylon 5)

With Vaselli dead, Steve Rogers (Code Name: Captain America) is the first and last of America’s super soldiers. Unfortunately, he was critically injured from his gunshot wounds. Col. Louis (Played by Michael Nouri, who played the Love Interest in Flashdance) tells the doctor to patch him up quick because the Axis has a rocket capable of targeting anywhere in the world, including onto US soil, within a week. So no pressure or anything.

As the doctor leaves, Steve forces himself up and wants to know where he’s going in order to stop that rocket.

Within hours, they’re on a plane.

…with Captain America trying out his new fireproof outfit (with his new shield) Once over the area the launch site is supposed to be hidden, Cap parachutes down.

(Thanks to TheMovieDump)

As the rocket speeds toward Washington…

(Thanks again to Video Club Random)

(The boy’s name is Tom Kimball, whose family happened to be visiting Washington. You’ll be hearing about him again in about 50 years)

Later, in Alaska…

…the rocket crashes, but somehow doesn’t explode. Instead, it buries itself in the ice.

Later, when the Kimballs go home to Ohio, young Tom tells the story about the rocket to his best friend, Sam Kolawetz.

Eventually, the war ended and time marched on until 1993 (3 years after this movie was made; again, why not set he WW2 bit in 1940, then have the present be 1990 (which would be Cap's 50th anniversary)) where young Tom Kimball has grown up to become President Thomas Kimball (Played by Ronny Cox, who was Lt. Bogomil in the Beverly Hills Cop franchise and Dick Jones in RoboCop)

He is preparing to travel to Rome for an environmental summit (considering we’re STILL trying to fight climate change, you can guess how successful it will be)

Before he leaves, Kimball meets with General Fleming (who is NOT played by Bill Mumy, but Darren McGevin (who voiced the crime lord Tony Dracon on Gargoyles)), who seems to give Kimball a veiled threat to cancel the summit.

Let’s switch to Italy and a familiar stronghold we last saw 50 years ago.

…where the Red Skull isn’t so red or skull-y anymore (and is sporting a shiny new prosthetic hand so the actor doesn’t have to pretend he doesn’t have one) Skull is holding a summit of his own to oppose Kimball’s environmental agenda. His compatriots want to kill Kimball, but Skull suggest a brain implant to control him instead.

Meanwhile in Alaska, a group of explorers discover.…

OK, if Cap was THAT close to the surface, then there’s no way (a) he’d be frozen enough for suspended animation and (2) it would’ve taken 50 years to discover him!

The explorers cut through the ice and bring the block of Cap-sicle to their base camp. Suddenly the block shatters and…

…Captain America is alive, well, and very fucking confused. He walks out of the tent into the cold (is he trying to become an ice cube again?)

Later, at the White House, Kimball is reading the morning paper…

Kimball pulls out the photo he took of the man on the rocket from 50 years ago to discover it’s the same person (or at least the same outfit) He then calls Sam Kolawetz (now a reporter for the Washington Dispatch…

...played by Ned Beatty, best known for being Lex Luthor’s flunky in Superman and getting sodomized in Deliverance) Sam (because Kolawetz is too hard to consistently spell) starts going on about the legend of the Red Skull and the man in the ice could be a link to the Skull.

Meanwhile in Rome, Skull is making plans for Kimball’s visit. He wants to know where Kimball will be at all times and any dirt his people can dig up on his Secret Service agents. Then he gets the morning paper and sees…

He then tasks his daughter Valentina (wait, you mean someone had a kid with him? Well, that would explain the change in his appearance) to deal with the good Captain.

Later, in the Great White North (What? You can’t expect Cap to get from Alaska to the Lower 48 without going through Canada!) Cap is wandering aimlessly when helicopters (led by Valentina) approach and Sam is driving toward his location. Cap ducks into the woods, so Valentina has the choppers land and she and a couple of goons give chase on motorcycles they just happened to have aboard (why? Couldn’t the choppers be armed and shoot at Cap from the air?) Cap manages to somehow lose all of the goons except Valentina.

(Thanks to Tales From SYL Ranch DARKROOM)

Cute, but there’s no way in hell anyone else would be dumb enough to fall for that.

To be fair to Cap, just a day ago by his reckoning he was in a war against the Germans and the Japanese.

As Cap drives away, he thumbs through Sam’s notebook (after all, he was frozen before it was ill advised to drive while distracted), checking a map to discover he’s in Canada, and drives until he’s out of gas.

Packing up the notebook and disguising himself (good thing Sam had an overcoat that just happened to be Steve's size) he hikes until nightfall, where he finds a truck stop and a trailer that the driver apparently forgot to lock.

…falling asleep next to the Champaign of Canadian Beers as the truck drives through the night, eventually ending up in Steve Rogers’s hometown.

…eventually realizing this isn’t 1943. He finds his girlfriend’s (Bernice) home, but when he approaches the owner (who looks a lot like her)…

She then calls for her mother to call the cops, but…

…her mother’s his old flame (emphasis on old, since it’s been 50 years) and reality finally sets in.

Meanwhile in Italy, Valentina reports failure, but somehow she bugged Sam.

However, all the Skull can think about is her inability to kill Captain America (he shouldn’t be so hard on her. After all, he couldn’t do it either) and sends her away.

Back in Washington, Sam is tracking down the origins of Captain America.

Wait, if that file is Top Secret, how the hell did he get his hands on it?

Sam goes through the file and finds the hometown of Steve Rogers. He immediately calls President Kimball (remember him?) to give him the news (Wouldn’t Kimball have security clearance for that file, being the President and all?)

So naturally, Valentina now has the information and can improve her father’s opinion of her.

Back in California, Bernice' daughter daughter (Sharon) is letting Steve crash until he gets himself caught up. While at Bernice’s place…

…Sam has shown up looking for Steve Rogers. Suddenly he’s shot from behind (nice to see Ned Beatty continues to be cast as the guy who gets shit on)…

…as Valentina storms in looking for Captain America!

At Sharon’s place, Steve is caught up and realizes Sam was telling the truth, and that the Red Skull is still alive. He remembers Vaselli kept a diary that might have Skull’s actual name. Then the phone ring.

We then shift to outside Bernice’s home, where the occupants are being loaded into emergency vehicles and the place has been cordoned off as a crime scene! Sharon’s father is alive despite being shot, but Sam and Bernice…

…refused to talk and paid the price!

The next morning at the hospital, Sharon sits with her father and turns on the TV to comfort him when a Special Report airs.

Well, THAT can’t be good!

Looks like Captain America is taking a trip to Rome (where Kimball was abducted), but first Steve needs Veselli’s diary. Sharon takes Steve to the diner where the lab was hidden. Surprisingly, it hasn’t been converted into a Denny’s yet. Steve goes to the spot where the secret door should be, only it’s a ladies room now.

As management calls the cops, Valentina and her goons arrive at the diner (how did Steve not know he was being tailed?) Steve then finds a space between studs and punches a hole through the drywall to find the secret door into the remains of the lab.

Steve finds the diary as Valentina’s goons arrive at the diner, guns waving. Steve and Sharon hide as Valentina enters the lab. They manage to sneak out while Valentina’s back is turned, but…

What? You didn’t think Valentina would plan for that? Steve uses the darkness to play cat-and-mouse with the goons, making short work of them. They then leave before the cops arrive. Sharon goes through the diary (so she can read Italian?) and while it doesn’t give the Red Skull’s name, it does give the town where he’s from.

So…trip to Italy?

CAN Captain America save the President?

WILL Steve and Sharon become An Item?

WHO the hell thought ANY of this was a good idea?

These questions and more will be answered in the exciting conclusion!