#Source: Bobs Burgers

[minimarvelh]

*in his room*

Peter *placing all his lego on the bed*

Peter *sings* iF yOu’Re nOt rEaL, tHeN hOw cOmE i fEeL tHiS WAYY

Peter: little babiiess 🥹🥹

Peter: come here *kisses every lego figure* come here *more kisses* aw, little babiess

Tony, who stands behind with a concerning look:

[aotearoa20]

Fingon: Are you sure there's nothing up there to pry it off?

Maedhros: (got tired of this shit several decades ago and also 70% sure Fingon in a hallucination)

Maedhros: oh loOk! A kEY aNd whATs tHIs!? A sTAir cAsE DowN the CliFfaCE!?!

Fingon: We're about to die Nelyo! Do you really want you last words to be sarcastic!?!

Maedhros: NoOOooO

[incorrect-losers]

Bill: He looks like a child molester. Bev, don’t talk to him, let Ben do it

Mike: Uh Bill-

Ben: Why do I have to get molested?

Bill: Because he’s not gonna molest you

Ben: Why?

Bill: Because you’re heavy

Mike: Bill-

Bill: Yeah, hold on

Ben: Heavy kids can get molested!!

Bev: Yeah! Who would want to molest this face?

Bill: That’s enough

Mike: Bill-

Bill: It’s not that, I mean, Ben cause you’re older

Ben: Eddie’s the oldest! Make him do it

Bill: Yeah… but Eddie’s not good with people

Mike: Bill-

Eddie: I’m good with people

The losers: Mmm, not really-

Eddie: I’m great with people!

The losers: Mmm-

Bev: He’s autistic, he can’t help it

Eddie: Yeah, I’m autistic

Mike: Bill-

Bill: Just a sec- No, you’re not autistic, Eddie

Stan *dropping 3 toothpicks on the ground*: How many- how many toothpicks on the ground?

Bill: Don’t play this game again

Eddie: Uhh

Richie: Come on! How many toothpicks?

Bill: No. it just involves me cleaning up toothpicks

Eddie: A hundred?

Mike: Bill-

Stan: No-

Bill: A hundred?!

Richie: It’s 3

Bill: There’s 3!

Stan *dropping 1 more toothpick*: Ok ok, how many now?

Mike: Bill-

Eddie: 3!

The losers: No!

Bev: Ugh, you’re the worst kind of autistic

Stan: You can’t even count

[incorrecthatchetfield]

*spying on Paul trying to flirt with Emma* Richie: the man is dying out there

Pete: I think Paul should just be himself

Richie: No no. He should pretend to be someone else

[inprogress-predicament]

Guess who remembered that Wayne Family Adventures exist while watching Bob's Burgers?

[icarusredwings]

Wade can get... cranky... if he stays up too late.

Logan: Okay, Bub, listen, go take a nap, and I'll keep look out.

Wade: Take off your clothes.

Logan: Wade!?

Wade: I got to go to bed.

Logan, confused: Wade?

Wade, half asleep:I don't want to do this. Stop it.

Logan: *tries to push him into laying on the couch*

Wade" Get your hands off me! Sick idiot.

Logan: *rolls his eyes* Such a freak.. Pull it together.

Wade, Groaning: I'm like an animal!!

Logan: Keep your voice down, Althea is sleeping.

Wade, yelling: I'm like King Kong!!

Logan: *scoffs* Unbelievable.

Wade, pulling himself together: I need to go to bed.

Logan: Good night. (Fucking finally)

Wade: *lays down in the middle of the floor* *curls up into a ball* *uses a couch cushion as a blanket* .....Go get me special pillow

Logan: 🙄😒 fine

[dewey-ing-it]

Donald: Thanksgiving is this family's favorite holiday.

Della: Eh.

Donald: Wait, it's not?

Louie: No way. Check the rankings. It goes: my birthday, Christmas, Halloween

Huey: Easter

Dewey: Hanukkah

Louie: Snow Day, Amateur Night

Donald: Uh, okay, that's...

Huey: Veterans Day

Louie: Tooth Fairy Eve

Donald: Not real.

Dewey: St Patrick's Day, May Day, Groundhog Day, season premiere of Game of Thrones

Donald: You've never even seen-

Louie: Opposite Day, Day of the Dead

Donald: Stop.

Dewey: Dawn of the Dead, Carnivale

Huey: Angela Lansbury's birthday

Donald: No.

Dewey: Bath Night!

Donald: *groans*

Louie: Black Friday, then Thanksgiving.

Della: Love Black Friday.

Donald: Black Friday before Thanksgiving?

Louie: Yeah, 'cause it's dark.

[ktkat99]

Dick, Jason, and Tim coming through a cross dimensional portal at the end of a surprise mission with their newly adopted brother Peter Parker when Alfred appears

Dick- Oh, no

Jason, grabbing Peter and throwing him towards Alfred- Charlotte's Web, go!

Peter- What?!

Tim- Write something cool so he'll let you stay! Win him over!

Dick, seeing Bruce walk in- Spell 'dead parents'!

[not-as-straight-as-i-appear]

Bobby: *first day back at the 118, just minding his own buisness*

Buck: *coming in for a hug*

Buck: Get ready for your favorite fruity boy!

[incorrect-legendborn-quotes]

Nick: I just realized something. I had a bad childhood.

William: Yeah, I know.

Nick: What do you mean you know?

William: Look at you.

[incorrectgreekmyths]

Zeus: *sleepwalking around Olympus*

Ares: Dad is a sleepwalker?

Hera: not normally, should we wake him?

Athena: never wake a sleepwalker, they could get violent, and whatever you do dont give them an axe

Hera: what? an axe? Why would we give him an axe?

Athena: Dont

Eris, handing am axe to sleepwalking zeus: LETS GIVE HIM AN AXE!

[minimarvelh]

School principal: what’s going on with you, guys?

Peter: Out father got trapped in the wall.

Principal: is that how he died?

Peter, shaking: wait..is dad d-dead?

Harley, hugging Peter: gOoD jOb, mr. Frond! We were gonna tell him on Father’s Day. Now we have nOtHiNg to do on Father’s Day!!!

Peter: *cries on the background*

[agentcaboose]

Church's Burgers

A collection of incorrect quotes using Bob's burgers

Wash: It’s important for Church to do his own stuff. He’s not just Church of Church's Burgers, he’s a person.

Caboose: If he’s not just Church, then why is his name Chruch?

Wash: It’s Leonard.

Tucker: Sounds weird.

Caboose: Yeah, we don’t believe you.

Caboose: you gotta do it with me :(

Church: what? no, no way

Caboose: yes like when you got that flu shot to show me it was ok

Church: yeah that was brave of me

Church: *sleepwalking*

Simmons: Church is a sleepwalker?

Tucker: not normally, should we wake him?

Sarge: never wake a sleepwalker. they could get violent, and whatever you do don't give him an axe

Tucker: what? an axe? Why would we give him an axe?

Sarge: Don't!

Caboose: LETS GIVE HIM AN AXE!

Grif: Simmons' gonna be okay I made him a PB&J. He said he didn't want it, so I ate it.

Grif: He was still sad, so I made him another PB&J. He didn't want that one either, so I ate it.

Grif: Anyway, Simmons wants to be alone for a while, and we're out of peanut butter.

Wash: this is the longest two hours of my life...

Tucker: Just wait until childbirth, sister.

Wash: What?

Tucker: What?

Donut: Your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it

Tucker: LEAVE ME ALONE

[incorrect-niche-quotes]

It feels great to be an accessory to a crime every single day without even trying.

-Puck talking about the perks of being a Grimm now

[incorrecthatchetfield]

Grace: What kind of sicko wakes up an hour early in the morning to write erotic fanfiction?!

Ruth, sighing: Me...

Pete: Are there any shows left in the world you haven’t perved up?

Ruth, signing: No, that’s why I’ve started writing erotic friendfiction, using people in town.

Richie: Oh! Do the Jerrys, I bet they’d have beautiful children!

Ruth, signing: I did and they don’t.

[incorrect-losers]

Mike: They make a cute couple huh?

Bev & Bill: *laughing together*

Ben: They certainly are standing next to each other