#Sorry if this is disjointed
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I often see Kylar with an outgoing, or at least socially adjusted, popular PC. But what about Kylar with a shy, socially awkward and dare I say, kinda cringefail PC?
yes yes i love this. i think i wrote something like this before but idk.
it would be the perfect match! i mean kylar would still be kylar of course but they would be a little more at ease with pc knowing that they’re both cringe. it might be easier for kylar to trust a shyer pc, especially if pc primarily interacts with kylar and no one else.
on the other hand, it might enable kylar more knowing that the two of them are so similar. like kylar would lean really heavily into the whole “you don’t need anyone but me” kinda thing because they’re both weird! no one else gets pc like kylar does!! they’re the perfect fit.
i think it would be really fun for the two of them to be total cringefail losers together. because knowing they have each other makes the bullying not as bad. it’s like, remember in school there was always that weird couple (or you might’ve been part of it lol im not shaming anyone bc i was ABSOLUTELY the weird girl in high school) and everyone made fun of them but they were definitely so much happier than anyone else? that’s kylar and pc.
#dol#nica's headcanons#sorry if this is disjointed#im so fucking tired#caffeine won’t help#after mt window blew off i couldn’t sleep#fuxking monday
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Did you hear the theory that Cody is shanks his son?
Shanks was 22 when Coby was born, so it's feasible
There's gotta be a reason Coby was so into the marines even though he went from nowhere town to a pirate ship - not just that "marines are good and pirates are bad" because no marines helped him when he was captured by pirates.
Maybe the village he was raised by told him he was kidnapped by a pirate but rescued by a marine? The red hairs knew pirates were pretty scorned in the sheltered east blue so he stole a marine ship and a marine uniform, dropped his kid off to get taken care of where he would be safe and then ditched because the sea isn't a place for a child?
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🔗 || What's the most extreme thing they have ever done for you? for doctor crane
I don't actually talk about Crane much outside of the past tense of pre-relationship Kronos/Strange because TBH Kronos/Crane just requires even more trigger warnings than Kronos/Strange, and like
Like that's saying something
I think I would have an easier time listing trigger warnings that don't apply
So for the purposes of this ask meme, that specific Rena gif is gonna be my "if yee be sensitive to themes of psychological abuse in a relationship, maybe steer clear of this one" gif. I know I have that thing in my carrd like "I'm generally bad at tagging, so if you're easily triggered, maybe just don't follow me" but like IDK I feel like Crane is next level, even compared to ships like Sniper/Ocelot.
[meme]
SO.
WHAT IS THE MOST EXTREME THING CRANE HAS EVER DONE FOR ZACHARIE?
I use "Zacharie" in this context and not "Kronos" because the Kronos persona proper hasn't been established yet in the timeline. (Though, post-relationship Crane is basically just Crane trying to hunt faer down and re-establish a relationship by force, so like. Jot that down, I suppose.)
I feel like saying "he has killed for Zacharie" is incredibly obvious, and also incredibly tame. Ocelot has killed for Sniper! Faust has probably killed for Glitz! Yandere's bringing a naifu to their rival-waifus is nothing new. If anything, it is expected.
So, let's jam our spade in past that. Let's dig deeper.
He's tangoed with the Clown Prince Himself in faers honor. I feel like that already comes up there. Joker didn't die, but he still had a message painted to him: back the fuck off.
He's also very much risked being caught and sent to Arkham (again) to keep faer afloat (never mind that he's why fae was so often drowning.) His darling has needs, and he will rob a million banks to provide those! It's so comic book, it's so cartoon-villain, but his darling has! Needs!
He's been so intent on sharing his version of love through fear with faer that he's developed new strains of the toxin to do the job. FOR EVERYONE FOLLOWING THE STRANGE/KRONOS LORE: THIS IS WHY! HE WAS DOING THAT! It was an act of love to make sure fae could never build a tolerance, that each new strain bring something new, and that its ever-evolving form be an everlasting terror. THAT WAS *AFFECTION* FOR HIM!
All in all it's kinda hard to pick, he's just done so much in Zacharie's name. In the name of love, even.
#fear and love#blackheart-biohazards#Hi guys!#how're y'all?#Sorry if this is disjointed#I have cluster headaches :(
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"Danny and Damian are twins AU" with a sprinkle of "Danny has amnesia of his time with the League" and a shake of "Dani and Dan in a clone body act like Danny's siblings" to make:
Vlad invites the Fenton children to a gala in Gotham and is paying them each to make him look like a good godfather ("But you're not" Danny protests, to which Vlad responds, "Yes, but they don't care, Daniel, people only bring children to these events to show off and then shove them back wherever they came from for the rest of the year. Just don't embarrass me and no one will care.")
Damian recognizes Danny as his (probably dead) twin brother and approaches, only for Danny to not recognize him leading to:
Danny: It's nice to meet you! I'm Danny Fenton, and this is my twin brother, Damian. Dan, who does NOT have amnesia and hates Damian, but chose his name as his offical name just to mess with him: >:D
#sorry if this seems disjointed my medication changed#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#c: danny fenton#c: dan phantom#c: damian wayne#danny and damian are twins#danny has amnesia#good dark danny
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This line. God, this line! It has been eating me up inside for 2 days now, because let's not forget, this line isn't about love, it's about trust. And that has implications that make me want to scream.
It's a direct reference to this moment earlier in the episode:
At the start of this discussion, Style and Fadel still have a kind of playful air about their conversation:
Style: Oh? Not even me? Fadel: You're at 80% at best. I feel like you're hiding something from me in the 20%.
In this exchange, though, there's a sense that Fadel is issuing a challenge, like there's something specific which Style can do to gain Fadel's full trust. And while Style knows there are things he cannot (yet) reveal to Fadel, I think a part of him is determined to be as honest as he can be, which is why he issues a challenge of his own by asking for more specificity:
Style: What do I have to do to gain your complete trust?
Part of this question is a simultaneously inquisitive and deflective - What (and why) do you think I'm hiding (something) from you? - but there's also a moment after Style finishes speaking where he stills and goes quiet that feels... genuine, weighty. Or, as @airenyah has pointed out in her meta on Style in episode 4, the "grounded[ness]" in Style's demeanour is a signal that Style means what he's saying in the moment. Maybe about his own desire to be worthy of Fadel's trust, maybe about how he genuinely does want this relationship to be real in whatever way that matters to Fadel.
I think Fadel sensed that too, because the moment looses all the lightheartedness it had before. Fadel pauses, and then gets a look on his face that just... breaks my heart. There's a sombreness there, like he knows he's going to have to say something that makes him sad. Fadel looks away, and then down, before he seems to steel himself and says:
Fadel: It'll never happen. No matter how much you love someone, I just don't believe that you can completely lay yourself bare in front of them.
Fadel says this like it's fact. Like what he's expressing is something foundational and true and irrefutable. It's not even about his doubt in Style's honesty, because this statement has no qualifiers or conditions put on it to connect it to Style. Rather this is what Fadel fundamentally believes about relationships and trust: he finds the very concept of being fully known and still accepted an impossibility.
Sure, maybe this is because of the falling out (or betrayal or disappearance) associated with the former lover; but I also think it might be because Fadel is acutely aware not only that he's hiding a rather big and dark secret (not to mince words, but: actual literal premeditated murder), but also about what it implies about Fadel. Because being able to kill another human, coldly and clinically and without remorse, takes a certain type of person. Because, yes, Fadel has lived through an absolutely harrowing and traumatising event (his parents' murder), but it's also undeniable that it changed him. Because there's something about Fadel that twisted dark and which he never quite got back. There's an anger, a hurt that colours every moment of his life; that enables him to look a man in the eyes, smile politely, and pull a trigger.
And at this point in their relationship, Fadel's understanding of Style is that he's... well, kind of innocent. Especially in comparison to Fadel and Bison, and even Kant.
Style, who easily reveals facts about his life which Fadel already knows (winning a car tuning competition), making Fadel doubt his own instincts about Style hiding secrets. Style, who also reveals the things Fadel doesn't know, like the tender and secret pain of a mother lost to cancer (which, now that I think about it, Fadel may also know) and his worries about a father who "lost his bearings for a bit" (which he probably doesn't). Style, who tries to comfort Fadel in his own loss by offering a safe space and a sympathetic ear.
Style, who doesn't just see Fadel for his tragedy, but is asking to be given the chance to accept all of Fadel as a person. Style, who not only wants but has the capacity, to be the only person Fadel needs to rely on. Style who, despite the sea of differences between them, understands Fadel on a level that is so very foundational.
I'm going to slightly segue and mention something that may not resonate with everyone, but really hit me in the gut this episode: because I lost my father when I was 16 after he battled cancer for 2 painful years. And this revelation about Style has totally shifted and coloured everything Style has done in a new light for me. Because not only does this totally explain Style's sometimes almost stubbornly childish demeanour (it's common in adults who've had to 'grow up' too early), but also why Style shows seemingly random flashes of insight and maturity when they are most crucial. Notably, Style has this almost instinctive sense of when he needs to back off a sore point with Fadel that I couldn't quite put my finger on until this episode.
I've seen a few jokes about Style's awkward subject change, but I've actually got a friend who I hold very dear to my heart who was one of the only people to give me a sense of normalcy and comfort when my dad was on his last few days and then at his funeral. And part of that was the instinctive way she would know when I needed to just. Not be a grieving daughter for a few minutes. To get a small respite from the overwhelming hopelessness and sense of impending loss. To get a moment to breathe and gather my strength, because knowing I was never going to see my dad again, or hear his voice, or hold his hand was tearing me apart back then. Sometimes she'd talk to me about college drama, sometimes she'd introduce a new kpop video to me, sometimes she'd just ask me what I wanted to eat and take me to go have a meal with her. And sometimes there really just isn't anything else to say other than "I'm sorry." Nothing you say - nothing you can say - is going to ever, ever make this grief go away, and in most cases, it was better when people (especially those who couldn't really understand) didn't try.
And I think if you look at Fadel very closely, there's a moment of genuine surprise (Fadel wasn't expecting the subject change at all) and then... something that looks like fondness mixed with exhausted relief. Because I don't think Fadel was ready to talk about his parents yet. This was honesty he wasn't ready to give Style, mostly prompted because Style himself had willingly been so vulnerable that a part of Fadel wanted to reciprocate. But further down that path lies not only his darkest memories, but also the connection to the part of his life he is not willing to share with Style yet. So this subject change is a relief, it's a blessing, but it's also Style knowing when he shouldn't push any further with Fadel's fragile heart.
Which brings me back to how well the episode's theme of trust (both deserved and undeserved) was woven in this episode. This is true on multiple levels and characters but I'm not even going to attempt to touch Kant in this post because... Lord, that is beyond me at the moment. Someone else needs to do that, pretty please, so I can reblog it and scream.
It starts, somewhat unexpectedly, with Fadel asking for entrance into the intimate spaces of Style's life.
So, this episode was not about Fadel's fear of his own feelings, desires, or even affection for Style - that appears to be fully addressed in episode 4. I think that's why we see Fadel be so physically affectionate and indulgent of Style in this episode. He's come to terms with his lust for Style's body (hence his comfort in initiating sex), he's accepted Style as his boyfriend and so can enjoy Style's playful teasing (still reluctantly, but Fadel is still an introvert even if he's mostly enjoying Style's rambunctious nature), and give into Style's (and Bison's and Kant's) cajoling with relatively little fuss.
He's even comfortable toying with the edges of revealing his darker and more sinister side by reminding Style implicitly about how violent Fadel has the potential to be. Recall that Fadel knows Style knows some of his capacity for violence; he just doesn't know how very thoroughly Style is aware of the full scale of this truth. It does help that Style evidences no actual fear and, in fact, looks positively euphoric. Like, buddy, pal, dearest one... please control yourself.
And yet something very, very telling is the way the show makes it a point to depict Fadel very deliberately getting drunk during the double date. Even before the date has started, Fadel looks to be about half a beer in and we see him constantly drinking, drinking, drinking during the whole date. From the conversation about trust he has with Style while Kant and Bison are being off key and adorable about it, to after Kant leaves and Bison gets worried. And we've seen Fadel cope with emotional and mental distress with alcohol before, so we know that Fadel is internally fighting some kind of very intense battle even as he is also very clearly enjoying moments with Style on this date (most notably when they're dancing by the bowling lanes and when Style asks him to go home with him).
So here's my take: rather than being about love, this is about Fadel fighting to hold onto his own philosophy on relationships and trust. Because as much as I do believe Fadel believes he's telling the truth when he tells Style that 100% trust is "impossible", I think it's clear that's not what he wants.
What he wants is to finish this last job so that the only thing he can't be honest about with Style will finally stop being a factor in his life. What he wants is to fully and completely reciprocate the openness Style seems to be giving Fadel. What he wants is to switch off his brain and let his heart lead for once, to stop fighting a battle he has no desire to win anymore, only he can't. Trust (not love) is Fadel's final frontier, and one which he can't quite give up in spite of himself.
Which is why I think Fadel intentionally gets himself drunk here. Because he wants to let his guard down around Style. He wants to open himself fully, he wants to "lay himself bare" for Style, he wants Style to know the full truth and accept him anyway - and he gets so close, but can't quite get there - because he doesn't know that Style already has.
When Style says this, Fadel thinks it's empty words, not knowing that Style has long passed the bar Fadel thinks is insurmountable. And just like Style was able to offer safety and reassurance to the vulnerability Fadel was showing in episode 4, Style instinctively gets to the core of Fadel's darkest fears again:
Style: One day, I'll be your 100%.
This isn't (just) a promise that Style will wear Fadel's stubbornness down, or that Style will be worthy of Fadel's 100% (which, already, has me in tears, ngl). Beyond that, this is Style promising Fadel isn't ruined for this; that it isn't too late, that whatever hurts and wounds Fadel has can be made whole again. That the kind of honest and all-encompassing and unconditional trust which Fadel says is impossible can, in fact, be his. That Fadel still has the capacity to trust and be trusted the way he so desperately, painfully longs for.
I know a lot of people have said Style in this episode is writing cheques he has no ability to honour, but I think it's more layered than that. Because in a very significant and profound way, Style is wholly deserving of Fadel's trust. Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. Style is a man who would stare into Fadel’s darkness and reach out first. Strip away the complication of Kant being blackmailed and dragging Style into his mission, and Style is literally perfect for Fadel. He is exactly what Fadel wants (and possibly has wanted for a very long time). He is, in fact, exactly what Fadel needs to ever experience anything beyond the shadow of a life he's had so far.
But oh, the cruel narrative means that Style is also, simultaneously, painfully undeserving of Fadel's trust; and this is something Style is very much aware of. I think that's why he's trying so very hard to be worthy in all the other ways he can be. Style's awareness of what Fadel is hiding enables Style to (counterintuitively) be completely honest about his feelings for and about Fadel even as he cannot reveal his motivations. So he gives Fadel as much honesty as he can: offers the vulnerability of his own pain and hurts; the comfort of his true understanding and acceptance.
And just as Fadel's vulnerability in the abandoned factory was met with Style choosing a form of physical connection that prioritised Fadel's pleasure (it's made very clear that Style is jerking Fadel off and that all his focus in that moment was on Fadel, not his own pleasure), so too is this moment met with Style very intentionally choosing to worship Fadel's body with all the tenderness and genuine emotional weight that Style wanted Fadel to have in their first time in the storeroom.
Because, crucially, this was Style giving Fadel the chance to lay himself at least physically bare. This is the closest either of them can get to full honesty with the secrets they both are keeping. It's why Style tries so very hard to show the care and adoration and genuine feelings he has for Fadel. Why he makes sure that the vulnerability of Fadel getting himself as drunk and as relaxed and as trusting as Fadel can allow himself to be is tied only to gentleness and tenderness and pleasure.
Because Style actually knows that Fadel can't (and shouldn't) trust him in the way Fadel truly wishes to.
And as much as I believe that Style genuinely means this from the bottom of his heart, the horrifying full truth is that it is Style that has the metaphorical knife hovering over Fadel's chest. He is the one with the capacity to actually give Fadel a new scar that would truly matter. He is, in fact, the only one Fadel wants to fully trust -- and this, along with Style's compromised heart, makes it so that the circumstances will doom them both.
#this episode broke me in ways i wasn't ready for because of style's backstory so fair warning there's no level of objectivity whatsoever#i'm sure much as already been said about this line and this moment and i'm sorry if i'm just repeating someone else (please let me know!)#i haven't had the time or physical OR emotional capacity to actually read any meta on episode 5#so i apologise in advance if i screwed up anything but these are just my (somewhat disjointed and very emotionally driven) thoughts#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#fadelstyle#style sattawat#fadel#thk ep 5#thk meta#hui talks thk#hui talks thai bl#i understand why dunk said this scene was so hard and weighty and was his favourite now#(or at least i think this was the one he means?? I vaguely remember an interview where dunk talked about them talking#before they have sex and how emotionally charged it was)#i'll have to go through my tags and see if i talked about it#but either way our boys both did such excellent jobs this episode#as they have been doing every episode but each time i really am just... newly awed by their talent and my adoration for them grows <3#joongdunk#joong archen#dunk natachai
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HTTYD 2 is ten years old today, it was my first exposure to the franchise and despite its many glaring flaws i can't help but love it and hold it so close to my heart.
This scene is a great example of why.
I love it so much. It's a heart-wrenchingly beautiful reminder that as good as he is, Hiccup is not some perfect hero. He is still just a person, a flawed human being who has cracked under the pressure of his circumstances and is barely given time to grieve his fathers' death.
(I adore scenes like this — It humanizes characters so much more, and just adds to that layer of perceived realism.)
And you can see the regret on his face as soon as he says it. But in that moment he doesn't do anything about it; he's still processing Stoick's death, and he only snaps out of it when he sees Toothless is under the Bewilderbeast's control again and Valka has to hold him back from attempting to go after him.
What he said and did to Toothless there was a momentary lapse in judgment fueled by grief. And later, as he breaks Toothless out of the Alpha's control, you can see he feels terrible about it. About how, even if it was brief, he pushed away his best friend. And he loves Toothless so much.
The way he talks to him literally breaks me every time I rewatch it.
"It wasn't your fault, you'd never hurt him, you'd never hurt me."
"Please, you... are my best friend, bud. My best friend."
And when Toothless comes back he just looks so elated to see Hiccup.
Though, Something that's even crazier to me is the fact all this takes place over less than a week. Once he gets toothless back and Drago is defeated, he is immediately made chief. And with the state berk is in, he is given presumably no time to properly mourn Stoick, or to fully adjust to the presence of his mother.
(though I feel his and Valka's relationship will never be what it could've been. He knows she chose not to come back, and that is a blow to their newly formed and fragile bond that, as much as they love each other, is not something she can ever fully make up for.)
But at least through everything, since the beginning, the one real constant he's had has been Toothless.
They're friendship was built off a mutual feeling of out-of-placeness, then unconditional trust and unwavering loyalty.
they love each other so much it makes me wanna throw up
#sorry if this is kinda. poorly worded or disjointed#also. toothless found is one of the best tracks in the movie. this is factual#thw doesnt exist. hiccup and toothless continue to adventure & explore together. they die in some kind of mishap but berk is in good hands#theyve done all they need to do and are at peace together (theyre placed next to each other sharing a funeral pyre)#httyd#hiccup and toothless#httyd 2#how to train your dragon#hiccup haddock#toothless#ramble#httyd analysis#the first part is. kind of? idk#its 2am and i have school in hours but httyd2 is on the mind and i am Locked In#also. do NOT tag this as ship please for the love of fuck#moth.txt#deyas dragons
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The HP books were important to me in the past. I was raised in a White, Christain environment where the biggest flaw my parents and other adults around me saw was the use of magic, but was considered acceptable.
But I am no longer in that environment with that narrow- and quite frankly bigoted- world view. I know better. I want to be better.
So these books no longer hold importance to me. I gave them up. I removed them from my life, removed the lego games from virtual wish list so people won't get me those on sale.
And it sucks, seeing something you cherished is not actually the way you thought it was. Seeing the harm it causes. It hurts.
But it causes more hurt to continue engaging with it. It perpetuates cycles of hate and violence. Rowling has publicly said that she considers an endorsement of her works an endorsement of her worldviews. And when a fascist claims you, you don't get to say they can't when you continue to engage with their work, because engaging positively with a work that glorifies bigotry and violence is to claim that work.
And I dont say all this to pat myself on the back. I don't deserve accolades for doing the bare minimum to try and improve myself and make the world better by removing something harmful from my life and not spreading it.
I left it behind, I removed it from my life and now talk about that harm. And so should you. Because if you are able to read and understand the hate Rowling is spreading, you are able to understand the harm it causes. And she is right to claim your actions of support, because indifference im the face of injustice to allow it to grow stronger.
#sorry if this is disjointed#i am tired physically and from peoe trying to justify themselves#leave it behind#or get called on your bullshit#these are your options
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*sigh* thoughts on Nintendo's botw/totk timeline shenanigans and tomfoolery?
tbh. my maybe-unpopular opinion is that the timeline is only important when a game's place on the timeline seriously informs the way their narrative progresses. the problem is that before botw we almost NEVER got games where it didn't matter. it matters for skyward sword because it's the beginning, and it matters for tp/ww/alttp (and their respective sequels) because the choices the hero of time makes explicitly inform the narrative of those games in one way or another. it matters which timeline we're in for those games because these cycles we're seeing are close enough to oot's cycle that they're still feeling the effects of his choices. botw, however, takes place at minimum 10 thousand years after oot, so its place on the timeline actually functionally means nothing. botw is completely divorced from the hero of time & his story, so what he does is a nonissue in the context of botw link and zelda's story. thus, which timeline botw happens in is a nonissue. honestly I kind of liked the idea that it happened in all of them. i think there's a cool idea of inevitability that can be played with there. but the point is that the timeline exists to enhance and fill in the lore of games that need it, and botw/totk don't really need it because the devs finally realized they could make a game without the hero of time in it.
#i really do have a love-hate relationship with this timeline#because it's FASCINATING lore. genuinely. and i think it carries over the themes of certain games REALLY well#but i also think it's indicative of a trend in loz's writing that has REALLY annoyed me for a long time#which is this intense need to cling to oot#and on a certain level i get it. that was your most successful game probably ever. and it was an AMAZING game.#and i think there's definitely some corporate profit maximization tied up in this too--oot was an insane commercial success therefore you'r#not allowed to make new games we need you to just remake oot forever and ever#and that really annoys me because it makes certain games feel disjointed at best and barely-coherent at worst.#i think the best zelda games on the market are the ones where the devs were allowed to really push what they were working with#oot. majora. botw. hell i'd even put minish cap in there#these are games that don't quite follow what was the standard zelda gameplay at their time of release. they were experimental in some way#whether that be with graphics or puzzle mechanics or open-world or the gameplay premise in its entirety. there's something NEW there#and because the devs of those games were given that level of freedom the gameplay really enforces the narrative. everything feels complete#and designed to work together. as opposed to gameplay that feels disjointed or fights against story beats. you know??#so I think that the willingness to allow botw and totk to exist independently from the timeline is good at the very least from a developmen#standpoint because it implies a willingness to. stop making shitty oot remakes and let developers do something interesting.#and yes i do very much fear that the next 20 years of zelda will be shitty BOTW remakes now#in which botw link appears and undergoes the most insane character assassination youve ever seen in your life#but im trying to be optimistic here. if botw/totk can exist outside the timeline then we may no longer be stuck in the remake death loop#and i'm taking eow as a good sign (so far) that we're out of the death loop!! because that game looks NOTHING like botw or oot.#fingers crossed!!#anyway sorry for the game dev rant but tldr timeline good except when it's bad#asks#zelda analysis
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very disjointed thoughts i planned on posting to twt seeing people just. be wrong. but need to format properly so tumblr gets it first
I have big big thoughts on the recent devotion developments.
first off, s6 has been so much about them growing to be more independent. from zam being strictly solo to mapicc putting in effort to grind (something he previously didn't need to do, whether that's because of dupes or zam being beside him.) they've filled in the gaps left from not being each others.
the cracks really started forming when zam teamed with derap. before then, no one was zams teammate, despite who he helped. when he needed help, he went to mapicc first, because mapicc is reliable and strong and someone he can have full trust in. but now zam has someone else, someone with a title that on lifesteal has always meant they are the closest. he has been abandoned.
the unspoken fact that zam will always hold mapicc above others and mapicc would do the same is ripped apart by someone having the title that meant that. someone that wasn't him.
and yes, this is what zam felt about the empire. he doesn't know how badly mapicc wanted him on that team. how the empire has constantly been falling apart when they are never there for mapicc. mapicc didn't know about atlas' plans including him. because frankly, they have never been good at talking. it is always unspoken.
and yes, mapicc is acting out. he is being selfish and destructive and risking their relationship. but it all comes from a want to be seen.
devotions are very codependent, and independence goes against that. it was fine when zam was alone completely, it was fine when there was an alliance against mane, it was not fine when zam stopped being independent but didn't come to him.
he feels completely abandoned, and with the mane stuff done, I believe he thinks zam won't care about him. and if zam won't care about him standing beside him, he's going to act against him. mapicc always makes zam care, through pain and hurt he will do so. he lashes out in desperate attempts to test zams care.
I really wonder if zam saying he'd stay by mapiccs side no matter what he did will hold true. because if despite all of mawns rules he still trys to go back to mapiccs side, things would change quickly.
derap is a whole other factor. mapicc Could try and get zam to cut him off entirely, he's already gotten flame, who wants to hunt derap, on his side, he knows what he's doing. depending on how zam reacts, how their talks go, it's also possible, very minimally possible, that if zam actually assures mapicc of how badly he wants to stay by his side, something he keeps repeating mapicc can never know (something that arguably helped lead to this reaction), that it will be okay. that he won't demand atlas disbands or forces it to happen.
#rambles#devotion posting#lifesteal spoilers#cat be assed to go through and edit it so it stays disjointed sorry for when i repeat points lolz!
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wishing we had a complete third part of the epic cycle for no other reason than to have a surviving epic that'd be undeniably The Worst One so we could stop with the endless "iliad versus odyssey: which one rules which one drools" non-discussions
#guys they're both considered greats and they're very varied and we're blessed to have two such unique pieces of storytelling#is what i say when i'm not being a bitch going 'oh SORRY if the iliad is TOO STARK IN ITS HUMANITY for you...!'#(obviously i relate to and am interested more in one than the other. that's how it works for everyone)#(mistaking preference for quality is an intellectual dead end)#now if we only had the cypria or the little iliad to be the dull disjointed one
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I was initially clipping this to capture the overwhelmingly accurate, absolutely devastating hilarity of "you went for realistic, and sadly, you nailed it". And then just kept recording because I really fucking love the discussion about how to balance the line between like:
You are trying to tell a story that feels good and gives you the kind of lift you might be looking for in an explicitly fantasy story,
vs
How to ensure it still feels grounded and rewarding in a way where you can "bring this good feeling back to earth" at the end.
Like they're talking about TTRPG's but they clearly make parallels to other forms of storytelling/worldbuilding mediums, like movies, and. like. Yeah. Yeah.
Like the framing of "you really recreated the feeling of powerlessness..." and wanting the fantasy element to manifest in there being the clearer, straightforward ways to solve complex issues, vs trying to ensure that you can have a victory and it feels feasible and substantial and applicable in some way, and has something you can take out of the fantasy world and hold with you back on "terra firma".
Its tricky! Its a tricky thing to balance, and I don't think there's a single "right" answer nor should there be because it depends. It depends on the story, and the intent, and the setting, and the medium, and etc. Big fan of this framework to explain it.
#dropout#zac oyama#adventuring academy#brennan lee mulligan#reaaaally like- like not even the specific takes as much as the framing of this. its part of why i think sometimes discussions about#good or bad or happy or sad or realistic endings miss the point a bit for me.#like whether an ending is 'good' or 'bad' or 'happy' or 'sad' or 'realistic' are often distinct discussions along w/ being deeply subjectiv#not to say that they're all COMPLETELY disjoint but assuming one EQUALS any of the others often flattens the discussion. to its detriment.#narrative meta#(?)#not cr#look ill be real im thinking about (among other things) some of the c2 ending discourse. not in a 'i cant see why people were unhappy' way#bc I totally understand why and I did have my own gripes. but also.#just like. man. some of those discussions were. happening in the same spheres and threads and all talking totally diff things. and migh#have really benefitted from this framing#anyway I looove adventuring academy. the Lou and aabria adventuring parties are ones I relisten to regularly. connie/jasmine's ones r also#vvvv good. I also typically love contested roll for the absurdity but in this case the specific discussion spawned is so good I don't even#mind the trade of the hilarity#anyway sorry. off my soapbox now. i just loved this discussion
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Character sheet for my new Solasmancing Lavellan!
Djin'zidei - "Mirage or errant wish" / "the path beyond the mirror"
lore below:
Djin'zidei was born to a clan with a love for family and knowledge, enough so that many are encouraged to seek out other clans as an eternal quest for wisdom. It becomes necessary when Djin'zidei herself discovers she is possessed of a heightened sensitivity to both the Fade and the Veil. This gift, or curse, causes her frequent trouble, leading her to constantly experimenting with various substances to manage her 'episodes.' Despite the challenges, she remains deeply fascinated by it. (What this all entails will be explored in a fic) 👀
Through a series of odd events tied to her travels, she ends up encountering an odder Adventuring Crew of treasure hunters and historians (there's a dwarf & a rogue Grey Warden for instance) with her sibling. They decide to join, as her sensitivity makes her very useful for exploring ruins and other ancient places. The group becomes tight-knit when they find they all share a ravenous hunger for knowledge, thrill, and chasing mysteries.
then everything changed when the fire nation attacked...
#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#lavellan#djin'zidei lavellan#mogwaei arts#solavellan#my problem elves <3#I'll be writing some one shots for her at some point 👁#sorry it's a little disjointed. i suck at being concise. too many thoughts 💀#details *might* shift a little when i start writing
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I've seen people say that Mei's samadhi fire arc was rushed, I never really thought about it that much, but I wanted to ask more LMK fans about their opinion on it. I can't stop pondering about it sometimes.
The Samadhi Fire Arc
Honestly, in my opinion? The Samadhi Fire plot is probably the least rushed arc in all of Monkie Kid.
Season Four to me is rushed because they try to squeeze in lore about the Pilgrims, MK’s heritage, Pigsy’s feelings on being an adoptive father, the Monkie Crew’s feeling on their ancestors/forebearers, the Brotherhood, the Ink Scroll, and then try to set up for Season Five while they’re at it.
Season Five to me is rushed because they try to squeeze in Xiangliu, Nüwa, and Li Jing and flesh all three out with very little time to spread between another fetch quest (this makes four in total through only five seasons) while also trying to give attention to Mei, Tang, Pigsy, Sandy, Red Son and MK while not even having a special to help take some burden off of the 100-minute crunch the writing team unfortunately has to deal with.
However…
Because the writers set up the Lady Bone Demon beforehand, she’s not given too much direct attention in this season until near the end, instead getting occasional appearances throughout by interacting with Macaque and then Wukong and to some degree infecting both with her power.
Which means that we get a full ten episodes plus a special for essentially only two things- the Samadhi Fire foremost, with the Lady Bone Demon in the background until about the special, from my recollection.
This means Mei does get her fair share of character development throughout Season Three, which you would think might allow us to see her perspective and thoughts on the world around her. We do get to see a little more of her desire to “live up” to her ancestors very early on, but it’s addressed quickly and then entirely dropped.
Like, this was a heavily Mei-centric season! We should’ve gotten some thoughts and backstory and personal views and whatnot, but the Samadhi Fire basically took full control over any narrative that could’ve allowed the story to delve deeper into, well, Mei.
But it feels kinda like Mei herself is… secondary to the power inside of her at times, where she’s very much just an unlucky and draconic vessel.
Now this wouldn’t have been such a big deal if we had gotten something beyond the already seen “Mei wants to live up to her family’s expectations without comprising her moral values and self-identity”, but, uh… they dealt with that in the first season and resolved it pretty neatly. Her conflict with Ao Guang is just retreading water in the same way, when it would’ve been nice to have a deviation of some kind.
On a more positive note, one of the best things the season gives us is learning how she’s come to view Sun Wukong in the form of a tearful rant about his actions and the impact they’ve had on her and her friends.
That only matters to her for a few minutes, unfortunately, but it’s a highlight of the season, and I wish it hadn’t been dropped so quickly.
Now, her not being allowed to interact with him or Macaque past the third season in regards to the ways they’ve continuously endangered and hurt her is a horrible letdown that severely undermines the character growth of all three, which is part of the reason I think some people call it rushed.
Mei’s possession of the Samadhi Fire is dropped until season five, so it feels ultimately unimportant. Red Son; in spite of being fundamental to Mei’s mastery of his power, gets shelved from season four the next time we see him. Sun Wukong’s recklessness and threadbare “planning” is essentially forgotten about, because the next two seasons just find new shit for people to scream at him about. All of Macaque’s… everything, really, goes entirely ignored by the characters, narrative, and story.
And obviously that’s not exactly satisfying from a watcher’s perspective, because it feels like everything just has a strangely neat bow tied onto it in spite of there being lots of messy business in the past that still needs to be addressed, but just isn’t because there’s they’ve decided to write another “the world is going to end plot” instead of taking a breath and working through existing issues instead of circumventing older ones as irrelevant.
I think people are disappointed when they look backwards that these plot points or emotional beats were dropped and left unaddressed or only resolved with a heavy dose of “secretly all alongs”. For example…
Red Son somehow tracks Mei down without any real explanation. (No biggie, probably some kind of tech or magic. Him getting there isn’t as important as what he’s doing, so it can be ignored.) He decides to train her. For some reason he's good at teaching people to control themselves, even though he was barely able to control himself in seasons prior? Off-screen character development is never exactly satisfying, at least to me.
Throughout all of this interaction, he never once expresses the slightest of desire to reclaim or recreate the Fire for himself, and is content with Mei having it. Red even openly declares that the power is “hers” at the climax of the story.
(I could get into how fans treat Red Son + Samadhi Fire ((plus pandering from the writers)) in comparison to Mei, but that’s a rant for some other time…)
With his encouragement, Mei harnesses the Samadhi Fire and helps defeat LBD! This has a lot of longstanding implications for her place in the story and her role as a parallel force to MK! How exciting!
Sike! The Samadhi Fire is fucking gone, only one mention of it in the season, where an omniscient old man inside a hell scroll tells us that it’s gone.
Sike! Mei secretly all along still has the Samadhi Fire and also secretly all along has an insecurity complex over thinking she lost it but all of this is handled in about a minute.
Red Son secretly all along wanted to learn where the Samadhi Fire came from and is trying to recreate it...? When he's seen and felt how dangerous and uncontrollable it is and home of this was established before??
So, when you build up all these things for a full season and then drop most of them the fourth and wait until the fifth to resolve them, I think it left a very jarring impact on viewers who came to view the season as “rushed”… but only in hindsight.
It’s not a flaw I would attribute until I’m on the fifth season and thinking “this should’ve been addressed in an earlier season.”
Now, personally, there are some plot points I’m not really a fan of, like, again, the “macguffin fetch quest” nature of the Samadhi Fire rings. Normally I wouldn’t mind but again, this is Monkie Kid’s third macguffin hunt in total, and we get a fourth in Season Five. (Spider Venom Cure ingredients, LBD’s Mech Building, Samadhi Fire Rings, Power Stones)
Though I think the City of Lanterns is a cute bit of worldbuilding, like with most Monkie Kid worldbuilding it’s basically “Look at this cool thing! Enjoy it now, because we’re never coming back or addressing it again!” like they did with the Team Hideout, the Cloud and the Weather Station. “Look at this cool place! Okay we’re done showcasing a potential Lego set, change the backdrop!”
Or another is Sun Wukong just being… magically immune to it once he gets possessed?
Like, the whole reason he had to set out on this fetch quest was because the Lady Bone Demon was distinctly NOT immune to it? And he also was NOT immune to it? Because the Samadhi Fire is a wildly dangerous all-consuming fire that could destroy all of existence, but apparently all it takes to be totally unaffected by it is powerful person + possession by another powerful person? But again I guess the world-building and power systems of Monkie Kid have always been patchy and thin but it’s still frustrating AUGHHH
But I personally don’t think it’s “rushed” until it’s revealed later on that actually, “There’s more to the story!” when a lot of the story we have is just kinda… left hanging.
TLDR for anyone who skipped down here: It’s only rushed in hindsight. If someone theoretically stopped watching after Season Three I don’t think it would be called “rushed”.
#Time Talks#Lego Monkie Kid#LMK#Mei#Red Son#Sun Wukong#LMK Gushing#LMK Critical#LMK Analysis#btw if you’re the same ‘macaqetter’ from character.ai#then I LOVE your bots!#if not I’m stinky and stupid ignore me#And also I’m sorry this is so disjointed!
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concerning fitzmartin's line of tim saying bernard showed him there is more to him than he was settling for and brings out the real me, is that an attack on his past romance and saying he was settling for them or more talking about being queer and discovering that
I mean, I certainly read it as a sort of attack (though I think "attack" might be a bit too strong a word) because Fitzmartin hasn't shown respect for the, out-of-universe, near 30 year long relationship Tim had with a woman or, in fact, the woman in question. Tim breaks up with Stephanie off-panel, we never get her feelings on the matter anywhere and when Fitzmartin does write her, it's as a prop for Timber. I mean just look at this:
Tim Drake Pride Special
and tell me the author cares for or respects Stephanie Brown as a character.
I also resent the implication that Tim couldn't have been his best queer self with Steph because she'd absolutely fully accept him. And he's not gay, he's bisexual, he's still attracted to women.
So why is being with a woman "settling" when he was previously talking about her like this:
Young Justice (2019) #5
Young Justice (2019) #8
Detective Comics (2016) #940
Detective Comics (2016) #963
Tim loved Stephanie. He was in love with Stephanie. She was his last thought before dying and he was committed to a future with her. There wasn't even a hint of a crack in their relationship prior to Urban Legends, in fact, I'd argue they were at the happiest and healthiest they'd maybe ever been.
So yeah, to me, Tim talking about "settling" and not being able to be himself before Bernard is 1) bullshit and 2) an attempt by the author to downplay his previous relationship. I don't really care to give her the benefit of the doubt.
#dc#dc comics#bobbinasks#anon#timsteph#stephanie brown#tim drake#this is NOT about tim being bi i love him being bi#it also isn't necessarily about timber bc i don't really know anything about timber except that the way they came about fucking sucks#which killed all my interest in them on arrival#it isn't even really about them breaking up bc that could've been handled well. MAYBE#it's about fitzmartin being a hack#also sorry if this is disjointed lol i'm sorta tired and i kept forgetting i was writing this#does this count as#fandom wank#or is it more so just#salt#idk lol
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part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 (these make one big story, you won't understand this part without the others)
day 07: free space a happy ending
Wakefulness embraces him so slowly and gently that Steve’s not entirely sure he isn’t dreaming when he sees Eddie lying next to him, watching him with an easy smile as his fingers tap out a slow beat on his pillow. Steve looks at him, blinking away the remnants of sleep, not quite daring to do anything more than that for fear of it being a dream after all, scared that Eddie would disappear if Steve reached out to touch.
But then Eddie’s smile widens. “Good morning, sunshine.”
Steve gasps a little and moves his hand to Eddie’s cheek, tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear, his breath hitching when Eddie leans into the touch.
“You’re here,” he whispers, his gaze wandering over Eddie’s features, taking it all in and looking for any indication that this is a dream.
Eddie hums. “And you’re pretty.”
It hits him out of nowhere, the open sincerity in Eddie’s voice, the fondness in his eyes, the honesty in everything about him. The love, open and free now — or getting there, at least. It’s still so raw, though, so new, that Steve doesn’t know how to handle it yet.
“Shut up,” he huffs once he’s caught his breath, rolling over to hide his face and the way his cheeks are heating up. He rolls right into Eddie's chest, though, and he's so warm, so close, smells so good that Steve wants nothing more than to bury his face in his neck and stay there for the rest of the morning. Or maybe the rest of his life.
The reflex to pull away is there. The urge to run and hide, to laugh it off, to freeze up and find something else to do, something to occupy his hands and stop them from reaching for Eddie. Years and years of muscle memory telling Steve to leave.
But Eddie's arms come around him, holding him close and pulling him even closer. And Steve breathes him in, remembering that it can be okay. Remembering that they get a chance now.
Remembering the words.
What are you doing?
Changing the world.
So he tries that, too. Changing the world. He tries by winding his arms around Eddie, too, and breathing in again and again, learning that Eddie won't disappear if he does.
Slowly, he dares to move his arms, stroking along Eddie's back in slow, gentle patterns, lulling himself into a safety he hasn't felt in a while. Maybe ever. At some point Eddie begins to hum, and Steve thinks that it's just another one of his audible smiles, inviting Steve and the rest of the world to join in if they're so inclined. But then he detects a familiar melody in the vibrations of Eddie's neck against his skin, and he holds his breath to find out what it is.
His heart jumps when he recognises the song as one he used to listen to on repeat like a lovesick fool around the time his feelings for Eddie turned into something more, something better, something infinitely worse.
It skips and he forgets how to breathe as he lets his hands travel over Eddie's back, slowly and tentatively daring to slip underneath his shirt and touch his skin.
Eddie begins to sing, then, and Steve wonders if he's even been in love with him before, because nothing of what he's ever felt compares to Eddie's gentle, hoarse, sleep-rough voice as he sings Somebody to Steve, to their little bubble, or to the world outside.
"I want somebody to share, share the rest of my lifeShare my innermost thoughts, know my intimate details."
He closes his eyes as he listens, focusing on the vibrations, on the warmth, on the closeness, on how this moment is everything he's never even dared to want. Everything so perfect that he couldn't even dream it up.
Everything. You're everything.
He needs to be closer still, so be buries his nose in Eddie's neck and breathes him in, tangling their legs, filled with a breathless kind of joyful bliss when Eddie's breath hitches, too, and he stumbles over the words of the second verse as Steve tries to climb into his skin.
"I want somebody who cares for me passionatelyWith every thought and with every breath."
You have me, Steve thinks, pressing his lips to Eddie's pulse point. It's not a kiss, not quite. It's something deeper. It's a promise.
Eddie's hands come up to hold him there even as his voice carries through the drumbeat of Steve's heart in his throat, running fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp, making him purr along to the melody.
"But when I'm asleep I want somebodyWho will put their arms around me and kiss me tenderlyThough things like this make me sickIn a case like this, I'll get away with it."
When the song ends, Eddie's words faded out, replaced once again by the gentlest silence, Steve feels raw. Vulnerable. Open and exposed. But he also feels safe, and loved, buried in Eddie's skin and held there, as though Eddie is just as scared of fading away as Steve is.
He lifts his head just slightly, enough to meet Eddie's eyes – only to find that they're closed, an expression so serene like Steve has never seen before. Mesmerised and overflowing with affection, he reaches out to trace the line of his brows, down to his cheeks and all the way to his lips, where his eyes are glued for a second.
The thought of kissing Eddie is right there. The opportunity is, too. But he doesn't. He barely dares to move as it is. But he does roll them over the rest of the way until he lies comfortably on top of Eddie, and tucks his head underneath his chin, finding one of his hands and lacing their fingers.
"You've got him," he breathes eventually. "That somebody. If you—“
"Yes," Eddie says, his other hand finding its way to the nape of Steve's neck to play with his hair again. "I want."
"Good." It's lame; far from what he wants to say. From what he has already said last night. It feels like they're doing this backwards, starting with the I love you and catching up with the slow build-up afterwards. "Good. Me, too."
"Good," Eddie hums, and there's that smile again that Steve can't help but mirror.
They fall asleep again like that even though it’s already late in the morning; cuddling and holding and cradling each other, still trembling slightly. Maybe that's what changing the world will do to you. Maybe that's the bravery more than the love.
Or maybe it's just Steve and Eddie. Steve and Eddie. SteveandEddie.
I love you.
~*~
It takes a bit for Steve to relearn loving Eddie. To not associate it with tragedy and sadness and a bone-deep loneliness that'll leave him breathless even on the best of days.
It takes a while for Steve to learn a whole new kind of breathlessness, a whole new kind of aching when it comes to Eddie.
And Eddie's not much better than Steve, pulling away when Steve wants him closer, swallowing his words and needing a second, third, fourth try until he learns that he gets to love Steve now.
Years of unrequited love, or feelings unreturned, of words put out into the universe with no one to receive them, are not easily or quickly unwritten. But every time Steve's breath gets lodged in his throat and he wants to run away, Eddie is right there to remind him of what they can have now. Every time Steve tries to be a little less of who he really is, Eddie is right there to coax him out of his head with gentle touch and a lot of hugs.
Every time Eddie starts to doubt himself and all the ways he makes Steve the happiest person on the planet, Steve is right there with the words he only has for Eddie. Words that don't get stuck anymore. Words that finally get a recipient.
~*~
Their first kiss, the first real kiss, doesn't happen that first morning. They spend the first week only holding each other, barely wanting to let go, hiding their vulnerabilities within each other.
Steve is worried about it at first, seeing Eddie so quiet, so reverent, lacking his usual cheer, his energy and snarky comments. He asks about it one night, ready to prove right that he isn't and can never be enough for him, that all he will do is steal the things that make him Eddie.
Eddie stops then, lifting Steve's chin with a finger when he's too scared, too ashamed, too vulnerable to meet his eyes on his own accord.
"Stevie," Eddie says, his voice so gentle that Steve immediately feels stupid for doubting. "I have loved you for ten years. I've had you for three days. Let me bask in it. Let me be unable to be myself with how absolutely and utterly overcome I am with the knowledge that I have you now. That I get to hold you. That I get to kiss you and keep you and... God. I'm not unhappy. I'm so much the opposite of that that I'm not sure there's a word for it. Other than devoted. Smitten. Bewitched, body and soul."
Steve wants to kiss him then. Almost does, with the way they're just staring at each other, breathing the same air —air that smells like Eddie now. In the end, Eddie just holds him, brushing a kiss to his cheek, his forehead, his temple, and whispers, "Let me bask in it."
And so they do.
Wayne called Eddie not long after with the words, "Chrissy just told me the wedding's off. Please tell me that means what I think it means."
Eddie just blushed, reaching for Steve, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. "Yeah, I, uh. I finally talked to Steve."
There was a very loud cheer on the other end that made Steve laugh, falling into Eddie's side, holding him tight, a weight falling off his shoulders knowing that Wayne was okay with them.
You know, I always figured it would be you.
No matter what happens, you'll always be a son to me.
It made his eyes sting again, but he basked in the moment and in the knowledge that Wayne was on their side. Always has been, always will be.
"You better come here on Sunday, and bring Robin and Chrissy, too."
"Robs and Chrissy?" Eddie asked.
"Oh, you're in for a treat. I'll see your asses on Sunday, boys."
And with that, he hung up. Steve immediately went to call Robin, hopeful and giddy with Wayne's implication, knowing that Chrissy was Robin's person just like Eddie was his.
"She loves me," Robin said, on the verge of tears, and Steve joined here right then and there. "She's– Steve. She's so– She... God!"
"Yeah," Steve laughed at the ceiling above his bed, grinning because Robin sounded so happy, not even caring that she didn't have the right words for it, because he could hear Chrissy laughing in the background, too. Laughing and saying hi to him and interrupting Robin's ramblings and groans and giggles with kisses that always left her dumbstruck for a good two seconds each time.
When the call ended, he went right back to the living room, where he and Eddie started watching Pride and Prejudice before, and fell right on top of him with a happy, happy smile.
~*~
It happens at Wayne's, exactly one week after Eddie showed up at Steve's in the middle of the night. One week after the phone call. One week after I love you.
It happens in the soft glow of the fairy lights Steve and Eddie helped him put up years ago. I happens after Wayne hugged him tight once more, after he pulled Chrissy to the side and promised her that she's still his kid, that he still loves her, and that he's happy to see her smile like that. After he promised the same to Robin.
It happens when Wayne's inside to refill their drinks and Chrissy and Robin are caught up in each other that they're blind and deaf to the rest of the world. When Steve turns to find Eddie looking at him with the softest, gentlest expression.
"Eddie," he whispers, leaning in to rest their heads together, lacing their fingers and stroking his thumb along Eddie's palm.
"Yeah, baby?"
Baby. It fills him with butterflies, with the urge to scream, to shout from all the rooftops that he loves Eddie, and more importantly, that Eddie loves him back! Baby. Baby.
"I love you."
"Hmm. I love you more."
No, you don't. Just longer. "Can I kiss you?"
He can feel Eddie's little gasp before he leans in even closer, rubbing their noses together, cradling Steve's face with his free hand. "Please," he whispers.
And Steve does. He captures Eddie's lips, pouring into it everything he feels and more. Sealing the promises he's made and all the ones he's yet to make. The promises to love and cherish Eddie. To be brave. To be there. To stay and keep and bask.
It's nothing like their first kiss all those years ago. There is no question behind it this time. Only declarations, only promises, only the beginning of a shared future.
And there are many, many more after this one.
🌷🤍🌷 THE END 🌷🤍🌷
tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen @livsters @eddiemunchondeeznuts @abstractnaturaldisaster @steddie-as-they-go @hyperfixationgoddess @goodolefashionedloverboi @stxrcrossed186 @eddiemunsonswife @bidisastersworld @ghost-ly-s @romanticdestruction @walkingaftermidnight07 @anaibis @rainydays35 @mightbeasleep @sunfloweringstories @korixae @tuesdaycats @totoroinatardis @ilovebookshowboutyou @musical-theatre-gay @theluckyalien @copingmechanizm @srra @changelingbaby @sassygoop @obsessivelyme @r0binscript @hardboiledleggs @estrellami-1 @bisexualdisastersworld @space-invading-pigeon @swimmingbirdrunningrock @y0urnewstepp4r3nt @oxidantdreamboat @spilled-jar @phirex22 @littlemsterious @captaingigglyguinea @animecookie95 @sharingisntkaren @haluton @littlemsterious @animecookie95 @suddenlyinlove @bisexual-bilingual-biped @jinx-nanami @makewavesandwar @scheodingers-muppet @morcantinon @hexdbog @homosexualhomocide13
god i can't believe it's over. i thank you, every one of you, who cheered for me, cried with me, screamed and yelled at me, and stayed with me throughout this past week. i have no words right now other than thank you 🤍🌷 and i hope this is okay
#steddie#steddie fic#steddieweek2023#steddie week fic#i feel like this one's a bit disjointed but i kinda like that about it?? little snippets that make a happy ending you know??#idk i hope you like it too (i always get anxious about endings tbh catch me vibrating out of my skin)#dio words#i cannot believe it is done. i cannot believe what a ride it's been. i'll find the words for it later i think. first we read. and we bask 🤍#morcantinon i am ENDLESSLY sorry i forgot to tag you even after you sent that wonderful ask please forgive me 😭🤍#i also forget a bunch of people who asked in the reblogs but dear god i hope you find this anyway i am all over the place#i will edit this and work in more chrissy/robin when i post it to ao3. but this is steddie week. and these are 15k words of an au#that happened spontaneously and within 2h each night of me flying by the seat of my pants. xD
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Sometimes things that are cliche are good, actually.
Leshy/reader and Kallamar/reader (I figured these two would be the most likely to fight lmao)
(THIS GOT LONGER THAN I INTENDED FOR IT TO I'M SO SORRY.)
You were a healer, or as close to one as you could be. You had some knowledge of diseases and injuries and the Lamb was more than happy to put you to work so they weren't the only one healing others.
You healed anybody in the cult regardless of who they were in the past, and though you were terrified of the minibosses and witnesses you were dutiful in your work.
You were never expecting to heal a former bishop though.
Leshy was the first one you met, as he constantly injured himself by running into things or tripping. He was an absolute terror in the medical tent, refusing to stay still and actively hissing at you when you tried to put salve on his injuries.
He only started respecting you when you had managed to pin the worm down and snarl at him that if he acted out one more time you would rip his leafy coverage out one by one.
Leshy still very much acts out when its the Lamb treating him, but he sits so nicely for you.
Leshy also often brings you lil knickknacks and cool stuff he finds, visiting the medical tent even if he isn't injured or ill and shirking his duties. He makes no indication he actually likes you in any way aside from the fact he doesn't immediately start knocking shit off the shelf like when its the Lamb in the tent.
Kallamar is the next bishop you meet, and he required a vast majority of your attention. The blue crown had made him immune to illnesses and now that he was without it his immune system was extremely weak.
It took days before you could relax and he wasn't on the brink of death, with even the Lamb being exhausted from fetching camellia endlessly.
You weren't entirely sure what to make of Kallamar at first, as when the Lamb was there he was quiet and subdued, but as soon as the Lamb left he'd become demanding and bratty.
He constantly demanded better bedding, complaining it was too hot or too cold, whined about how drab and dreary the medical tent was and it could've used more decoration. All sorts of asinine comments.
It wasn't until you snapped the wooden bowl you were eating from in half did he get the memo to behave.
Once he realized he wasn't a god anymore and couldn't really command anybody around he finally calmed down entirely. He wasn't polite or "nice" by any means, but it was leagues better than how he behaved at first.
Unlike with Leshy, who pretty much crushes on you right after you snap at him, Kallamar takes far longer to gain any affection for you. It takes months of Kallamar getting ill and you caring for him before he even considers you a non threat.
Its during one of his worse illnesses does that affection start to fully bloom. Where he has an extreme fever and can barely keep his eyes open. Every time he returns to consciousness, you're there fretting over him. Ensuring he doesn't dry out or become dehydrated, double checking that he's tucked in cozy, chasing out his siblings that visit if they get too loud. He's never felt so cared for in his life and it flusters him.
He avoids you for a few weeks after that but soon returns like nothing happened.
Leshy and Kallamar aren't aware of the others feelings until they both end up in the medical tent at the same time. Leshy is the one who picks up on it first, as without his eyesight he has become sensitive to other factors. He can sense the changes in his cowardly brother as you treat his wounds, and Kallamar can see the way his chaotic brother avoids twitching or moving as you disinfect his injuries.
They try to avoid petty fights within the medical tent, as they both know you wouldn't hesitate to kick them out. Instead they try their best to be the best damned helpers in the god damn world.
Leshy accompanies you to Darkwood to find camellias, stating he knows the best places to find them (he does). Kallamar on the other hand helps out in the tent itself, as he was the Bishop of Pestilence and therefor- has intensive knowledge on the diseases he wrought.
Gifts aren't really something either consider as you practically live in the medical tent and hate having clutter in there, so any gifts they'd get you are practical in nature.
Kallamar begs and pleads the Lamb to get you a specific book from Shamura's old temple, a book he knows you'd love as its about rare illnesses.
And Leshy finds you rare herbs and ingredients for medicine as gifts.
Their rivalry isn't that violent or extreme, as it is just brotherly fighting, but they still get on your nerves sometimes.
Neither brother even notice when you start spending more time with Shamura.
#also sorry if its disjointed im doing my best but girl. the attention span.#cult of the lamb x reader#cotl x reader#cotl kallamar#cotl leshy#SURPRISE SHAMURA HAHAHA
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