#Sorry for the depressing thoughts I have
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Big vent about my "career" so warningg lol
I'm really concerned about my future as an artist and having an art major. I don't know what to do or if it'll be worth it in the end. I'm clinging onto the hope that the experience I get will help me in the future but I really don't know and I hate being in that state of uncertainty. I've seen a mix but more negative experiences of art schools and it really has me worried. Such an expensive price for an art school, but is it worth it? Will I really waste a bunch of money and time in art school for nothing? I'm aware an art degree is pretty much worthless. And I don't know how to get myself out there. Idk what I have to do. Sometimes I just think about getting a job and spending whatever free time I have doing whatever I want instead of pursuing an art school. Sometimes I think about changing my major but I have no idea what else I want to do and worry that it's already too late for me to change it. With the increasing use of ai, I fear that my skills and years of experiences will be replaced, and I will have no place in the art field in the future. I just don't know.
#lerons rambles#Sorry for the depressing thoughts I have#I just wish it was simple#I wish I was confident but with how everything's going I'm unsure#It sucks knowing that I am pretty much worthless regardless what I do#That my passion and skill doesn't matter cuz if I'm not good enough I'll just get replaced#I hate the thought of that#I wish to hear something positive#Idk#Sorry again#I'll prob bottle up my emotions and continue to ignore it for a year or so
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im so fucking useless
#all I do is consume without contributing anything to society#i feel so guilty for eating breathing taking up space buying things producing trash wasting people's time and energy#literally my existence has no meaning#why am i alive#literally w.o.r.t.h.l.e.s.s.#tw depressive#tw depressing thoughts#tw depression#depressing shit#sorry for being depressing#im exhausted#i hate everything#i hate my self#more than anyone else#i dread having to exist#self h@te#i'm sad#mentally tired#vent#venting#personal
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Steve could always see the dead, since his grandma died when he was six and his papa when he was seven. He’d have conversations with them at the side of his pool about his day until the breeze swept them away. He’d always liked the dead more than the living, not that people would understand if he’d told them.
He’d sometimes go out and sit in his pool chairs to talk to Barb, the girl that hated him alive and even more now that she’d died. She never blamed him though. She’d rant and she’d rave about the injustice of it all but unlike Nancy, she never blamed him for her death. She just let him listen to her dreams and hopes that would never occur.
After Vecna and their last encounter with the Upside Down, Steve would talk to Eddie. They’d lay side by side in his bed surrounded by plaid and talk about what could’ve been. Big metal tours, traveling, dreams being made, guys, girls, even the kids on occasion. They’d even talk about what they could’ve been, once upon a time. But when night turned to day, Eddie would fade away and Steve would be left all alone again.
He might be able to see both alive and dead but through it all, he was alone.
#oh dear this was so much more depressing than I thought it would be#I am so sorry!#Eddie comes back every night and Steve’s love along with One’s powers being him back#then he and Steve can be together in real life#After that Steve doesn’t have to worry about being alone#stranger things#steddie#ish#steve harrington#eddie munson#ficlet
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makoto yuki
#fanart#art#persona 3#illustration#persona 3 reload#makoto yuki#minato arisato#persona 3 mc guy whatever .. makoto over minato over roger over#sakuya shiomi#WHO CALLS HIM SAKUYA ?#anyways this post was just me experimenting with stuff#i was inspired by collages and wanted to try to take a stab at it#if you want to try this then my advice is to have a specific theme and build your bases from there..#so what i did was center this piece on the themes of p3 and depression and death and things related to that..#and then I thought of metaphors and images that would go well with the collage..#and i mixed in some real images with redrawn ones#and it wasn’t all planned it was just a process along the way#sorry for this yap session i just wanted to share how fun collages are..
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Icarus but not at all, you know what i'm saying? Does that make any sense? Do you see him? Take my hand, we're watching him fall.
Also a bonus little alternate that I drew first but wasn't satisfied with the emotional choices at ALL. and an alt color of that lol cause you know i'm gonna abuse the hell outta that green color as much as possible lol
#drawing kenny having a bad time again~~#happy ending for everyone at all cost but what was the cost i guess??? lmao#sorry kenzaki.... I'll draw something nicer next time aldfkjae my head is in my hands...#kamen rider#kamen rider blade#kenzaki kazuma#fan art#kamen rider blade spoilers#blade spoilers#kenzaki's a winner but such a loser(depressing) that's what i wanted to get across i think#you tried too hard bud :(#There are a few shots in the finale that i noticed this time and thought “kenzaki... did you go for a little swim bud!? dude no!!”#things you dont notice the first time when you're busy banging your head through your computer screen.#whatever the original intention... SADDDDDDD#lost a few screws on this one lafkjalekj#but I learned to draw a lens flare for this so there's that lol!
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happy birthday to the god of time 🥳
#couldnt help but think about dave turning 29 and being like... my days (with karkat) are limited#like ya he loves his friends but he and they are all gods#daves thoughts -> he will have forever to celebrate bdays with them but only a few years left with karkat in the grand scheme of things#sorry i love just adding a touch of millennial depression to these 90s kids#post-game au ig#anyway dw about dave karkat always knows what to do/say#homestuck#dave strider#karkat vantas#davekat#happy birthday dave#hsfanart#my art
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I hate to say it but I might have to admit that Redditors can be pretty based sometimes
#dead by daylight#dbd#dbd unknown#dbd the unknown#pls pls pls you can trust me to be normal about that i am completely normal about that i am so normal about these themes#and their direct opposite i am normal and can be trusted with anything that's either like Th//e La//st Uni//corn or its direct opposite#like no. no i have to remember that bhvr have no idea what they're doing. i must not get sucked in. i must remember better games... unless#like no you have no idea what id give for this to be intended like aaaaugh i am unimaginably insane about the inhuman desperately#trying to be human in any way it can and the world continually rejecting those efforts#just like i am incredibly abnormal about humanity as a horror for the inhuman and the active rejection of humanity by something#that is; despite its best efforts and thw verdict of its biology; human. haha humanity as a horror you are forced to be and#perhaps always were but never had the chance to realise it. anyway. i digressed.#also the actual reason why Oh Gross (aka The Unknown) looks like that is because the lore states that some people thought#it was just a typical serial killer and gross is just a cumulation of everything everyone has ever thought about it#(god thats depressing)#so yeah. sorry no themes of humanity here i think. though id kill for them.
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How does it feel knowing that in a different moment Ruby would be bouncing off the walls seeing her big sister and the girl who she's come to see as her other big sister finally getting together?
How does it feel knowing that in a different moment Ruby would be shaking Yang in excitement and be all "Yes FINALLY!!! When we get home we're gonna tell Dad, he'll be so happy! We're gonna tell MOM! She would have liked Blake SO MUCH! Wait, Imma go tell her that right now"?
How does it feel knowing that in a different moment Ruby would take Blake aside and be all serious like "As the nearest relative, I have to ask you what are your intentions with my sister and also threaten you a lot if you make her suffer" and they both would dissolve in laughter because that's not going to happen?
#I'll tell you it does not feel good#rwby#rwby volume 9#rwby v9#rwby9#rwby spoilers#ruby rose#yang xiao long#blake belladonna#bumbleby#ruby rose depression era#that was a shower thought of the 'if I have to suffer you have to suffer too' kind. sorry?
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good old times
#invincible#invincible show#invincible fanart#mark grayson#nolan grayson#debbie grayson#fan art#artists on tumblr#digital art#sketch#doodle#my art#i headcanon that mark was THE ugliest baby ever and nolan's immediate reaction to seeing mark was the most disgusted 'ew' of all time#mainly bc i think it would be the funniest thing ever actually#then he gets attached and is like 'how did this happen. he is so ugly'#nolan grayson: mark may be an ugly baby. but he is MY ugly baby#sorry i have actual deep thoughts about this show but i have to meme on it or else it becomes a little too depressing#nolan being clueless about kids. esp human kids is another hc#humans are so fragile so i must bundle my part human child in winter clothes in the middle of spring <- nolan's thought process#debbie thinks it's cute#making myself depressed knowing how this family turns out#whatever nolan wins the most divorced man award. i need debbie to explode him#what could have been scenarios always get me because like. what if nolan stopped being constipated and had a rational thought for once#if he was able to see how insane the viltrumite way of life was and was able to properly cope with breaking away from it...
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kitchen of witch hat vibes
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i have more stuff but this looks like a normal post someone normal would make#MR QIFRY SOUNDS SO GAY IN KITCHEN VOLUME 3. WHAT IN THE. every single word he says.#i'm sorry i scorned the translator because i thought orufrey was being made less gay. i still have Quibbles but im sorry.#sensei drew live orufrey in canada but i dont know that actually bc if i read about that i would feel so jealous i'd feel sick! thank god#(takarazuka talk->) REIKOUMI.......i have not thought of zuka for months bc i really drifted away due to reasons#and it was hard to feel the full emotion i should be feeling. :( mix of depression & witch hat atelier hyperfixation#that makes it physically impossible sometimes to access lain aside feelings that i really do feel#BUT...right at the end of the sayonara show with the long long held kiss and the music suddenly everything HIT and i started bawling#they were/are deeply deeply special. i will NEVER forget what they mean..i'll go on my personal reikoumi pilgrimage leading to tokyo raku..#i love takarazuka even if i love witch hat atelier <- Autistic affirmations
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now there was no reason for lucanis to be given purple johnny silverhand as a plot point and then never have the purple johnny silverhand utilized except for maybe 3 or 4 times in the game (if you saved Treviso, otherwise it's twice) and dialogue. Dialogue where he pretty much just says weird and funny things and occasionally gets scolded like a dog which is entertaining sure but there is Literally A Demon In One Of The Companions Why Is This Not A Bigger Deal
#i think i've pinpointed what annoys me about the treviso vs minrathrous thing#it's not that neve or lucanis get mad at you but that you can't like. fix it. or talk about it.#you get 'punished' for picking one and it feels like it should be Worse#lucanis Especially winds up suffering in content bc of it and he's already hurting with content as it is#but apparently according to m kirby he never stops feeling betrayed which is valid#but why can't we fix it? or confront it? Why can't we have a rival situation? or see the effects of spite bc of it.#bc the Hardened thing is literally Nothing on both of them lmao oh no they wont heal me i guess#this man should be pissed at me and apparently he always was? despite us being friends? sort of? by the end?#like it's not even that Lucanis gets Mad at me (wish he'd show it) it's that this is a bioware game and i should be able to confront this#but no. just a choice where ultimately nothing happens but a map change and you don't get a mission/certain cutscenes#and lucanis or neve will go 'i'm doing this and you don't get a say' like ok that's fine and deserved#i just think spite should've potentially taken over lucanis more in a rival situation bc he's so hurt by the worst year of his life#and spite should be gnawing at the bit because this and the rest of the horrors pisses lucanis off#i also think neve should've tried blood magic for funsies esp if she becomes super determined to protect Dock Town but whateverr#i know these tags are slightly off topic but the point is SPITE SHOULDVE BEEN USED MOREEEE i'm so mad#honestly in my deluded hopes that this was going to be truly Bioware i thought Lucanis was going to have an anders situation#and spite would be more in control even if it's still Lucanis. just more volatile and sad.#and maybe it was going to be difficult but the idea that you could've potentially saved him by proving you were going to be there for him#ughhhh it's so annoying and depressing. I do like veilguard i do but this is the moment my love for it waned a bit#like sorry i think Lucanis/Spite should've turned Illario's head into wine if you didn't save Treviso. I think he should be that messed up#but i also thought this was going to be a thing that was going to happen with more companions lol cries for what should have been#prawn posts#veilguard critical
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she's looking especially sacrificial lamb today 🥩
#we're so back baby#i think i'm finallyyyy through the worst of this awful depression i've been in for the past like. month and a half#i mean i woke up this morning and thought ''the sun is so beautiful'' so i think i'm good for now fjksjds#which is great because there's some heavy stuff coming up that i just couldn't handle in that mental state#so i'm hoping i'll be able to move things along a little quicker#but also i might be getting a job in retail against my better judgement so who knows#i've never actually worked in retail... i've done food service and i was a cashier at a pop up shop but nothing like an actual store#but i seriously can't find a job with my degree nor can i even find a desk job. so i'm. man. it's rough out here#i might have to move. but with what money?? lmao the eternal dilemma#SORRY this is a whole diary entry#i hope you guys are well 💖
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haurchefant request wip (still taking prompts here btw)
#art tag#wip#you might have thought i forgot about wip wednesdays but no i was just depressed af sorry
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Solomon who’s lived for so long he can’t remember most of the things he’s done so most things feel new to him 🤝 Me who has the worst memory known to man that things I’ve already done also feel brand new
#we’ll experience ‘new’ things together wow!#i know this man is generally forgetful too so it makes me feel some better#like it’s bad#the amount of times i’ve watched game grumps play wheel of fortune and play along to it knowing i’ve solved the puzzles before but can’t#remember so whoo! look i just solved that one!#the most simple of things as well are forgotten to the whirlwind that is my mind#three things i have planned to do for the day… only remembers one#i’m very thinky but won’t remember anything#thanks depression 👍#sorry for the rambles in the tags 😗#obey me#obey me solomon#jo’s thoughts
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⭐️ving
yall, comment protein rich foods cuz my protein intake is fuckin’ ass‼️
#made of styro#tw self h4rm#sh cvt#tw ana rant#tw disordered thoughts#self h@rm#cosmic cvts#light as a feather#988blr#it's not as simple as just eating#sh things#3d not sheeran#cat scratches#depressing shit#ed but not ed sheeran#hitting styro#i hate dealing with this i’m sorry i have to talk about it on here i really don’t like to but i have no where else to put it :(#s3lf mutilation#s3lfharmm#scarspo#self destruction#self destructive tendencies#self h4te#self mutalition#self mutilator#selfh4rm#selfharrrm#sh#sh addict#sh mention
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i don't think I've ever enjoyed a birthday party with friends as much as today i am genuinely getting a bit teary eyed
#initially i wasn't planning to do anything but then i thought what the hell what if we go out to drink something#except it was all very up in the air so a good deal of folks couldn't come (which is fine that one's on me)#but the two who COULD make it are genuinely some of the funniest motherfuckers I've ever met and one of them brought his gf along#and we hit it off IMMEDIATELY and THEN we ran into another pal I hadn't seen in a while and hadn't had the chance to invite in person#who also joined in after he finished hanging out with other people and they got me a present????? 😭#i haven't had a birthday with friends in fucking . 3 years between covid and everyone i knew moving away#I'm so happy i think my heart is going to explode#which ik. hey isn't that a very boring and simple hangout YES but also not to me baby i have been in a depression isolation all my teens#i started to genuinely enjoy my day to day life like. 4 months ago ever since starting uni#it feels like turning a new leaf yknow? like. i made it. i made it out. god i could cry#sorry I'm a little drunk
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