#Sorry for the depressing thoughts I have

[cuties-in-codices]

if/when tumblr dies this lil project of mine will probably come to an end. there really is no other place where i feel like i could be doing what i am doing here

i mean you will still find me on instagram (@_codexcore_) but yk... making posts on ig lowkey makes me feel like i'm just adding noise to a corporate-shaped void

[artiststarme]

Steve could always see the dead, since his grandma died when he was six and his papa when he was seven. He’d have conversations with them at the side of his pool about his day until the breeze swept them away. He’d always liked the dead more than the living, not that people would understand if he’d told them.

He’d sometimes go out and sit in his pool chairs to talk to Barb, the girl that hated him alive and even more now that she’d died. She never blamed him though. She’d rant and she’d rave about the injustice of it all but unlike Nancy, she never blamed him for her death. She just let him listen to her dreams and hopes that would never occur.

After Vecna and their last encounter with the Upside Down, Steve would talk to Eddie. They’d lay side by side in his bed surrounded by plaid and talk about what could’ve been. Big metal tours, traveling, dreams being made, guys, girls, even the kids on occasion. They’d even talk about what they could’ve been, once upon a time. But when night turned to day, Eddie would fade away and Steve would be left all alone again.

He might be able to see both alive and dead but through it all, he was alone.

[hana-mural]

makoto yuki

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

Icarus but not at all, you know what i'm saying? Does that make any sense? Do you see him? Take my hand, we're watching him fall.

Also a bonus little alternate that I drew first but wasn't satisfied with the emotional choices at ALL. and an alt color of that lol cause you know i'm gonna abuse the hell outta that green color as much as possible lol

[karkatbug]

happy birthday to the god of time 🥳

[light-wrath-paradise]

I hate to say it but I might have to admit that Redditors can be pretty based sometimes

[whosthere54]

I hear infinite amethyst and perk up like a dog. It’s like a sleeper agent I swear.

Is this what it is to survive the phenomenon is Fable SMP /silly/lh/j

[theoakings]

I’ve been battling tonight. Crying, feeling the weight of all these negative emotions and thoughts. I feel ugly, and so unworthy. God feels near, but He’s not speaking to me like He usually does or at least not in the way I’d like Him to. And tonight, that made me angry and upset with Him. Then I felt even worse. I felt angry, disappointed, and upset with myself for feeling that way towards Him.

I’m waiting for comfort, but it’s not here… yet. Yet.

If you’re feeling this way too, please know: God loves you. He really does. He hears you. He has so much compassion for you. He’s closer than you think, whether you feel Him, hear Him, or not. He will speak to you. Honestly, maybe He already has, and your mind was just too crowded to recognise Him.

But rest, my love. Quiet your mind. Breathe. He will speak. He is speaking.

⋆˚✿˖°

lol, if you’re feeling a little like me- this is what I asked chat to write to you:

God still chooses you. Even when you feel like a failure, even when shame whispers that you’re terrible, God’s Word speaks louder: “The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” (Psalm 145:8).

You are not the mistakes you make; you are not the heavy feelings you carry. You are God’s beloved, chosen before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4), held securely in His hands. God still chooses you.

Nothing, not your sins, not your sadness, not your weariness can separate you from His love (Romans 8:38-39). His mercy is new for you every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). You don’t have to be strong enough, good enough, or worthy enough. Jesus already is. And because of Him, you are invited to come near, just as you are, and find rest for your soul (Matthew 11:28-30). He is not annoyed with you. He is tenderly calling you closer, again and again, with a love that never gives up. God still chooses you.

God bless you, byeeeee💗

[am-i-a-boy-or-a-crybaby]

Thoughts from a queer Midwestern teen in love about the DnP Vday video

When I was 13 I shipped Dan and Phil. Hard. Even though they were already out when I found them and I knew Dan’s story, I was too young to truly understand the fear and anxiety he felt surrounding his identity. I never will understand fully even now, but at nearly nineteen years old, I feel it.

I heard about the video from a Pinterest comment. I didn’t know much about it except that it “proved phan” which I highly doubted would be any different from the loosely strung together proof I had seen. Seeing as that loose proof was really all I needed anyway, I decided to watch the video even though I didn’t really believe it would change much.

It did.

The video is jarringly personal and even at the time, having never really dated anyone, I could tell that something was wrong. I wasn’t supposed to be seeing this and not just because it was “the forbidden video”. No, there was something in the visible relaxation in Phil’s voice, yet the nervousness in his “I love you”s that tipped me off.

I closed the video.

Over the next years the video would live in the back of my head. I couldn’t make it leave.

Throughout high school I watched as the world around me turned violent. There was grace for a child who “didn’t know what they were doing”, but not for a senior who “should know better”.

Being gay started to scare me. Finding out I was trans was even scarier.

At 17 I fell in love with a boy just like me who had been my friend for years. Since we got together there has been an understanding not to share too much to strangers. To post each other as vaguely as possible online. In private we are intertwined and the love in our eyes is visible, but when we are out there is nothing more than a small shoulder bump and a smaller smile.

We are still together as I turn nineteen. We are scared. We are surrounded in a land locked state painted red. While I live in a blue county, next year he won’t be so lucky and I will become his favorite secret. A friend to most, a lover to a quiet few.

I rewatched the video. In some ways I wish I didn’t, but I knew I needed to. I understood the video in a different light. I felt a fraction of the horror and embarrassment they must have felt when YouTube glitched, making it public. Tears streamed down my face as Phil described a relationship not that far from my own. Two men, deeply in love, scared for their lives.

I lay in my bed and wonder how they would feel about the video now. In 2025 they brazenly joke about their love and their intimate lives, revealing bits and pieces to us, their fans. Not because we deserve it or because they feel like they have to, but because they’ve begun to take control of their lives. I believe that some small part of them feels that by showing us how to unlearn fear, some scared queer couple will feel just a little less mortified by love, a little less terrified to be seen, and a little more like a cheesy valentines card.

[danystargaryens]

I am so tired of suffering, i’m 25, done nothing with my life, and i feel like time is fleeing, and yet i am still in my bed watching youtube alone. living with my family, and everytime i try to be on social media, i’m constantly seing friends and family members living life as i wished i could. but no! my mind is so traumatized by every fucking thing. and i really dont know anymore. I dont. i hate it here.

and then i’m constantly told that “life doesn’t change, you have to change it” & the “get up and do stuff” mentality, so i’m more ashamed of myself & stuck.

[kortac-sweetheart]

originally thought of Nikto but then thought 👁 Bell (both?? imagine them together. imagine it. oh my god)

I'm a creature of habit, I have the same breakfast almost every morning, have my peculiarities about what goes with what and what's eaten or drank first for what flavor etc etc, always have my little coffees I make at home, etc etc and I can just imagine a lot of the cod guys but especially Bell (or Nikto <3) who has had his identity stripped of him, who has been tortured into being whatever his next handler needs him to be, who has had to completely forget who he is as a person and that he's worth acknowledging as a person not just for what he does, watching, and just kind of admiring how specific things can be, how routine it is out of pure want and leisure rather than stifling sweat and stink and grit and blood

just Bell enjoying seeing how alive and intimate and personal daily life can be, and slowly figuring out what he likes too, his preferred coffee creamer, or maybe tea, or hot chocolate, or plain old milk, just something that's his because he chooses it to be, because he wants it. he's not really doing anything spectacular with it or for it, it's just a little personality for him to enjoy- Simp anon

UWAHHHHHH BEELLLLLLLLLLL

yes i’m also a man of routine too, i always take walks around the same time and i also always get the same sweet treat when i want one.

god, bell who’s almost like a curious child again, constantly asking questions about your routines, why do you like that? why do you do that? learning more and more about you and your routine and in turn learning more about himself as well.

it happens very quickly that he assimilates parts of your day and likes into his as well. he joins you for your walk no matter what, initially he wants to see what you like so much about it but he eventually grows to love it. your single pair of over ear headphones turning into sharing earbuds with him.

(why do you like that song? that band? what’s your favorite? he needs to know, it’s important to him.)

your hand always finds his way into his, swinging along carefree as you walk together. he never questions why you hold hands, or why he’s the one that walks closer to the road— it’s a natural, intrinsic feeling in his gut that he doesn’t have to question at all.

and although it’s a small break in routine, he doesn’t mind at all. learning about what you think about that shop’s pastry and what he thinks of it too. he memorizes whatever review or commentary you have, no matter how small or offhanded it was.

(he personally adores those milk chocolate dipped strawberries you like too. that cake however, a little too sweet for him. and for you too.)

i think you both learn together. he keeps a running log in his mind and you, on paper of what each other likes. it’s love and adoration clear as day, written and held in the palm of your hand. and he thinks his heart flutters.

(is it because you’re making an effort to learn and love him? or was it just due to fate? or maybe a bit of both? the more he thinks about it the warmer he feels— is that normal?)

you always encourage him to form his own opinions on things. always want to hear what he thinks and has to say, especially if it differs from yours. he thought it was odd at first. isn’t he supposed to like what you did?

but you brought it up to him.

“bell, if we liked all the same things, and were the same person—wouldn’t that get a little boring? my own lived experiences shape the person i am today, and that also applies to you too, sweetheart.”

(he likes it when you call him that.)

yeah. if you were like him, then there wouldn’t be anything to learn. and he quite likes learning all he can about you, likes, dislikes, habits, your past, and he shouldn’t deny you of the opportunity to learn about him either— lest he makes you sad.

bell is a well versed scholar in the study of you. he blends seamlessly into the fabric of your life as if he was always meant to be there, by your side.

his cup of milk tea sits besides your cup of coffee in the morning. your sweaters hung neatly besides his in your closet. your favorite flowers in the vase on the table one week, then a bouquet of his in it the next. his hand firmly in yours when you go on your afternoon walks. your favorite dinner prepared by the two of you, piping hot on the center of the table as you eat side by side. his favorite pastry in the same container as yours. and him tightly hugging you in bed at night.

the more bell learns about you, the more he learns about himself, and he never wants to stop learning—ever.

[braveincafleet]

This is my brother's dog hiding under my brother's bed because Russia is firing missiles at Ukrainian cities and that is terrifying for man and animal alike.

My brother lives in a city, he is a civilian, he's not on the front lines, he's not near anything of military importance yet the air raids are still happening, strikes are hitting civilian populations & infrastructure.

He had 2 air raid warnings today on the 22nd of Feb 2025, that's considered a quiet, peaceful day to him these days. Think about that a second, Russia rains missiles and drones down upon Ukraine so often that 2 air raids in one day is considered 'quiet'.

Russia doesn't want peace and there's your proof. Don't listen to Trump's lies and don't fall for Russian propaganda. Be better than that .

[softpine]

she's looking especially sacrificial lamb today 🥩

[neil-perrys-suicidal-tendencies]

When your mother wants to talk to you but you see the oceans of disconnect sepearating who she thinks you are vs who you actually are.

[once-in-a-blood-moon]

Solomon who’s lived for so long he can’t remember most of the things he’s done so most things feel new to him 🤝 Me who has the worst memory known to man that things I’ve already done also feel brand new

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)