#Something happened and for a while i genuinely did not know where i was or how u got there

[tthoroughfare]

kerosene // ellie williams

*･゜ﾟ･* summary: the setup of a slow burn between you and ellie.

*･゜ﾟ･* pairing: jackson!ellie x reader

*･゜ﾟ･* content: sfw

*･゜ﾟ･* length: 1.7k

so... this actually started out as NOTHING. i planned for it to be nothing. just me, my pages app and my love for jackson!ellie & that fuck ass hoodie against the world. howeverrrr i may or may not have written almost 10k so far that i'm planning to split up (and continue) into an ongoing series just focusing on you and ellie living in jackson, spending time with your friends, slowly falling in love. real piners rise

god i just love jackson ellie so much. her little nerdy cocky self

the idea of being friends and pining over each other for literal years because you’re both too scared to say anything… catching the other staring, having a few little moments here and there but chalking it up to nothing because you both don’t believe the other would see you like that.

and then she starts dating cat and you’re just like welp. guess this is really never ever gonna happen after all. you let yourself mope for a while, not wanting to go out as much for fear of seeing them together and feeling that strange pang in your chest — just overall being weird and avoiding ellie. you feel silly, really, locking yourself away and listening to sad music over someone you were never even with.

you selfishly hope it doesn’t last long, that it’s just a fling, but when months go by and they’re still together, you come to some sort of acceptance. you even date someone else for a short while to try and take your mind off of her, but quickly realize you’re just searching for scattered parts of her in someone else. and something in your gut tells you that while nothing’s wrong within the relationship, it just doesn’t feel right. doesn’t feel like it’s supposed to.

meanwhile, ellie’s mindset was that she never really saw you as attainable in the first place. and she did genuinely really like cat, so when she initiated the relationship, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t excited to see where it went. you were always at the back of her mind, though. she didn’t like the way you’d distanced yourself. you were never best friends, but definitely fairly close. she felt the switch almost overnight, the way you stopped going out of your way to talk to her, stopped asking her to tag along when you'd hang out with jesse and dina. she didn’t know what your deal was. the thought that you might be jealous did cross her mind, but she quickly swatted it away. why would you be jealous? it’s only her.

when you started seeing someone yourself, it was like confirmation. nothing was ever gonna happen, you weren’t jealous; how could any of that be the case when you were right there, with someone else? she cursed herself for even thinking about any of it, guilty conscience thick when her mind would then turn to cat. she knew she shouldn’t be deliberating whether you were jealous, whether you liked her, whether anything could ever happen between you, when she had a girlfriend.

she tried her hardest to push you out of her mind whenever you’d arise. she still saw you around, sometimes alone, sometimes with your girlfriend. you’d talk pleasantly, share a few laughs, but it wasn’t like it used to be.

and then one day, when she’s on her way home, she sees you by yourself. you’re sitting under a tree reading, headphones in. she can’t help but notice you look a little melancholy, like you don’t want to be bothered. she deliberates on whether to disturb you or not, stopping, then going to walk away, then stopping again. against her better judgement, she wanders over to you and nudges you gently with the side of her foot.

you look up, offering a small smile and tugging your headphones out. “hey.”

“hey.” ellie mirrors you, shooting back a soft smile of her own. a beat of slightly awkward silence passes as she tries to think of the reason she actually came over. she doesn’t even have one.

“what’s up?” you ask after a few seconds.

“uh… not much. just… uh… wanted to say hi.”

the corner of your mouth quirks into a slight smirk. “well… you just did.”

ellie breathes out a quiet chuckle, bringing her hands together to mess with her fingers. “very funny.” she pauses, then hesitantly crouches and sits beside you. “whatcha reading?”

you turn the cover so that she can see it. “mystery book,” you say, eyes flitting between ellie and the novel, before you rest it back in your lap, starting to lightly read again.

“you want me to tell you who the killer is?”

you chuckle, looking back up at ellie. “sure, take a stab at it.”

ellie’s eyebrows raise slightly. “pun intended?”

you tilt your head, raising an eyebrow as you realize what you just said. “nope. guess i’m just too witty.”

she looks down and smiles lightly, before looking up at the sky in feigned thought. she clicks her fingers. “it’s the priest.”

you let out a laugh. “there isn’t even a priest in it.”

“that’s what you think,” she quips back, feigning seriousness. “he will be introduced in… 43 pages.”

you roll your eyes, unable to hold back a smile. “shut up.”

“nope. wanna hear some more of my predictions? 100% accuracy guaranteed.”

“sure.”

“… you’re in a shitty mood,” ellie says matter-of-factly, before her voice softens. “seriously, you good? you look all…”

she trails off, gesturing at you slightly.

you chew at the inside of your cheek. truth be told, you are in a shitty mood, but you didn’t realize it was visible. plus, you don’t really want to talk about it. especially not to ellie, of all people. “yeah, nah, i’m fine.”

she just gives you a look in reply — one to say, ‘i’m not stupid’. to which, you let out a small sigh and shake your head. you’re not good at lying to ellie. “okay, i guess i may be in a… tiny bit of a slump.”

she shuffles a bit, leaning back on her hands. “why? what’s wrong?”

you pick at your nail, pausing. “i don’t know, man. just… yeah. stuff.”

“what kinda stuff?”

you curse her in your head for pushing, but simultaneously feel a pulse in your chest that she cares. you don’t particularly want to talk to ellie about your relationship. or lack thereof. it feels embarrassing, for some reason. in the end, you let out a small, defeated sigh. “ugh. just… so… i’m not with you-know-who anymore.”

ellie raises her eyebrows, trying to ignore the way she feels selfish relief. “damn. that sucks.”

you shrug. “i suppose so.”

another awkward pause occurs as ellie tries to think of what to say. comforting people has never really been her forte, but she wants to try for you. plus, she’s curious. “…wh-what happened?”

you look up, eyes flitting around the scenery, pulling a small face as you think. “nothing, really. just… wasn’t working. like… didn’t really feel right, y’know?”

she quirks an eyebrow, looking sideways at you. “so it was you, huh?”

you let out something between a breathed out chuckle and a groan. “…yeah. i felt really mean.”

“damn. you’re ruthless. heartbreaker,” she teases deadpan in response, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

to which, you roll your eyes and snicker, the smile lingering on your face. even in the worst mood, you’d noticed, ellie could always make you laugh somehow. “shut up. it wasn’t like that.”

“then what was it like?”

you shrug lightly, toying with the cover of your book. “i don’t know. went as best as it could, i suppose. i have nothing against her, nothing happened, it just… yeah. like i said. wasn’t right.”

ellie hums in acknowledgment, looking away in thought. her silence feels a little uncomfortable, driving you to babble on. “i don’t know, she’s nice and everything, but it just felt like we were kind of… wasting each other’s time. i didn’t see it actually going anywhere. i know we’re still young, and… y’know, it’s hardly like we have to marry each other or whatever. but something just felt missing. i don’t know.”

you glance at ellie briefly, then back down at your book, tracing the cover art with your fingertip. “like… you and cat. you guys seem happy. what does that feel like?”

she feels a little taken off guard. she’s not used to talking about this with anyone; anyway, nobody’s ever really asked. she shifts, sitting cross legged and leaning her forearms on her thighs, messing with her hands. “uh… i don’t know. i haven’t really thought about it.”

you furrow your eyebrows slightly. not really the reaction you were expecting. “oof. what does that mean?”

ellie lets out a drawn out hum, wrinkling her chin. “… i don’t know. i suppose it just feels… hm. it’s just… what it is. i guess.”

you pull a face, blowing air through your nose. “wow. don’t get too sappy on me, now. you’re gushing.”

her eyes roll in response to your sarcasm, a lopsided smirk on her face. “shut up.”

you mirror her smile, meeting her eyes for a few seconds, trying to shove down the way it burns a hole through you, makes your chest feel like it’s constricting.

the moment is broken by a call of ellie’s name. you both automatically look up, spotting cat strolling over with a bright smile on her face. 

“speak of the devil,” you murmur jokingly, turning to look back at ellie briefly.

she scoffs in response, moving to stand up. when cat presses a small kiss to her lips in greeting, resting a hand on her arm, you avert your eyes.

cat looks down at you, offering a soft smile and a wave. “hey.”

“hey,” you reply, looking back up. you did really like cat. you weren’t necessarily friends, but she was cool, and funny, and always nice to you. you flit your eyes between her and ellie as she turns back, addressing her girlfriend.

“i was on my way to yours. we still watching a movie tonight?”

ellie looks down at you, then back at cat, an unreadable expression on her face. “uh… yeah, yeah. for sure.”

cat smiles at ellie, taking her hand and lightly swinging it between them. “… well, we’ll leave you to it,” she says to you.

you nod slowly. “yup. catch you two later.”

you wave half-heartedly at them both as they walk away hand-in-hand, free hands returning the gesture. you busy yourself with putting your headphones back in and choosing a new song, but if you were looking up, you’d have seen ellie look back at you. twice.

[mywritersmind]

ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR - LN4

↳ pt.3

summary : Feelings are complicated and you and Lando aren’t a great mix to express them. A tension filled boat that leads to sexual chemistry so thick that you end up in the same bed.

og summary : Its the vacation of your dreams! With your best friends, rich men, live music, and flowing drinks, nothing can ruin it. Even if a certain Formula 1 driver (who seems to have an affinity for annoying you) is there every step of the sandy way.

listen up : ho this is long. suggestive comments!! hope you like part three!!! muah! previous part

word count : 4142

⋆｡‧˚⋆

“Boat day! Boat day!” Alex chants while walking down the dock with Lily on his shoulders. I woke up to over a hundred texts to get to the dock with a swimsuit and sunscreen.

Charles’ friend doesn’t just have a boat he has a fucking yacht. It’s not gigantic but it’s definitely the nicest boat I've ever seen. “Uh Charles… you do know how to drive this, right?”

Alexandra shares my worried stare as Lando and Carlos race each other onto it. Kika throws her arm around me and grins as we walk onto the back. There’s four steps and my jaw drops as we go ‘inside’.

There’s a huge couch that turns into a dining area, a TV, followed by a small kitchen. Kika and I hurry to the front where there’s one day bed that shaded and one in the very front that’s for tanning.

Apparently there’s three bedrooms and two bathrooms! “I think I need a yacht.” I say to Kika as we check out the table and chairs on the side.

She looks like a mermaid today, in a bright blue bikini and sparkly nail polish. I’ve taken more of a siren route in dark red.

I’m all for woman doing things in ‘male’ fields, but I let the men figure out how to get the boat working. Alexandra, Lily, Kika, Rebecca and I, put our things down in one of the rooms and make our way to the Bow where the sun is hitting us perfectly.

Rebecca pulls off her shirt to reveal a light pink one piece while Lily runs over with a speaker in a multicolored bikini. We start blasting Dominic fine as Charles evidently figured the boat out, and we start to leave.

The moment we only see clear blue water, the girls turn to me. I’m laid out on the tanning bed, sunnies on and fully ready to take a sunny nap, but Rebecca pokes me.

“So, you and Lando are still alive!” She says the obvious as I sit up and lean against my arms, “How’d it go!?”

I want to tell them everything. I want to tell them that It was genuinely fun and I had a great time and i’ve never laughed harder, but I can’t. I shrug, “It was okay.”

Alex eyes me, “Just… okay?”

I nod, “He fucked up my plan so we didn’t go anything crazy and we got kicked out of a pottery place.”

Kika perks up at this, “Pottery? Did he do that thing like how the movie stars do it?” She gets behind Lily as they start to recreate those weird sexual pottery scenes.

I roll my eyes, “No. Like I said, we got kicked out. Then we just went to the hotel and split up.”

Lily frowns, “Lando said you two got a drink.”

Shit. “Oh right, I went to sleep pretty early.”

Kika groans and falls down next to me, “So nothing happened at all? No flirting, no kissing?”

Lots of flirting and fuck yes kissing!

I love my friends, and I trust them! I just don’t trust them to not tell their boyfriends. “Did you have this ‘couples day’ just so Lando and I would have a chance of hooking up?”

Lily leans in, “So is there a chance!?”

I look at all of them to make sure everyone is listening, “No chance! I told you I wanted to have a fun vacation which does not include you trying to set me up!”

Rebecca slouches a bit, “You’re right.”

“Sorry.” Alex mumbles, “We just feel bad.”

“It’s not your fault i’m single and you’re not.” I stand, “I’m going to get some water.”

My plan to hide away on the couch is immediately ruined by Lando taking up the whole thing. He’s scrolling on his phone, shirt and shoes off.

I turn quickly and go downstairs, running into Pierre, “Hey Y/n! Looking for something?”

“Uh… water?”

There’s a little mini fridge that he pulls a bottle from, “You okay?” Pierre is sweet and it makes me happy for Kika.

“Yeah!” I open the bottle and drink.

“Just that… Lando told us what happened.” I choke on the water, coughing as his eyes get panicked, “What!?”

“Are you- Uh… He just said that you two ended the night weird. We all thought it would magically turn you into friends but I guess not.” Fucking hell he just scared me so bad.

“Oh! Right… I guess some things just aren’t meant to be.” So everyone was rooting for us to become friends yesterday?

Pierre just shrugs and moves past me, walking up the stairs without another word.

⋆༺

LANDO

I’m playing poker with my friends while the girls dance around the front deck. We’re anchored on the water and after an hour of swimming, we all needed to pause.

I’m shit at poker but it doesn’t matter because i’m already distracted by the shadow of a girl through the window.

I kissed her. I kissed her and she’s avoiding me.

I think i’m an idiot but I know i’m not because anyone smart would fall for her. Not that I'm in love or anything, I’m just… intrigued?

“Lan?” Alex kicks me under the table, “What’s got you so uninterested in money?”

I just shake my head and look back down at my cards, “Something happened, didn’t it?” Pierre asks, clocking my weird mood. “With Y/n.”

“No.” She would kill me if I told, and I already said too much by drunkenly explaining that the night did not end well to Alex and Lily.

They would definitely tell their girlfriends, so I keep my mouth shut, “You’re a shit liar.” Carlos says, “But whatever, None of my business.”

Charles frowns, “Totally our business! We all love Y/n and want to know what happened!”

“Nothing happened.” I shake my head, taping a chip against the table, “Drop it.”

Just then, Y/n walks in while clutching her hand, her face scrunched up, “I need a bandaid asap.” Charles stands quickly and grabs the first aid kit from a cabinet, “Your girlfriend pushed me off the boat!” She points to Pierre who cringes.

She’s soaking wet, her hair dripping water onto the floor as she crosses her legs. She's in a red bikini and I think I might faint.

I instantly feel bad when I remember her hand is bleeding and i’m just checking her out. Kika runs in, “I’m so sorry, Y/n!”

Y/n just shakes her head, walking over to the kitchen and washing off her hand, wincing at the pain, “Don’t worry It’s just a scratch, i’m just joking.”

I stand and walk over, looking over the sink to get a better look at her hand. She’s got a cut along the side of her hand, bloody and sort of gross. “You sure you’re okay?”

She nods without saying anything, just turning to Charles who has his kit ready.

I bite my lip and sort of awkwardly walk towards Carlos who’s already watching me. “The fuck did you do?”

⋆༺

YOU

Besides my little incident with my hand, I’m having a great time.

Charles drives us to a secluded area with caves which you can swim in. I personally stay out in the open air but Rebecca, Pierre, Charles, and Alexandra check them out.

I sit in a tube with my head tilted back and my hair floating around me. My stomach and chest are warm while my back is cold against the water.

Someone dives in near me and I can hear my laughing as they jump and flip off the boat. I regret opening my eyes as soon as I do because I catch Lando back flipping off the boat.

It’s one of those moments where I don’t remember why I don’t like him. I suppose that’s not as true now, but seeing him flip off is still hot as hell.

I end up dunking and swimming back to the boat, sitting on the back where my feet dangle in the water. I know Lando’s the one walking down and sitting next to me before I see him.

“Hey.” He sounds nervous and quick.

“Hi.” I stand and walk up the stairs, screwing up my face and mentally yelling at myself. I hide in the kitchen, grabbing some fruit before venturing out to sit with Lily and Alex.

They’re all cuddled up and giggling so I spare them my company and sit at the table on the side of the boat.

The music is quiet and I can hear my friends talking across the boat. I bite into a strawberry and stare at the water below.

My anxiety is through the roof and i’m on a boat in fucking turkey. I’m annoyed that Lando just being near me is making me on edge.

As if he heard me, his head pokes out from behind the door, his hair wet and his eyes shining. “We’re gonna take off soon. Might wanna hold on cause of Charles’ driving.”

“Ok.” It’s like I can’t control my feet. I just stand and walk past him, giving him a quick smile and leaving him.

I then interrupt Alex and Lily, loudly stepping down the steps so they sit up. I hear everyone else getting out of the water and Lily can tell something wrong immediately.

“Could you get me some water?” She turns to Alex who gives her a quizzical look.

“You can’t do it yours-” She gives him another look which he immediately understands. Alex leaves quickly and Lily hurries over to me. I sit with my knees to my chest as she puts her hand on my arm.

“What happened? For real this time, what’s wrong?”

I look up at her, our friends walking past and up to the kitchen. I try to say it but I just groan and shove my face into my knees, “Y/n!”

I mumble it but she pokes my face so I look back up at her. I take a breath and force it out, “Lando kissed me.” And then she screams.

I shove my hand over her mouth so fast that her scream is muffled. We practically wrestle as she tries to get my hand free, “Lily!” She licks my hand and I gasp, pulling it off her.

“I’ll stop! I’ll stop!” She shuts her mouth and sits on her feet, staring at me, “We saw him last night… He looked drunk and completely in a different world.”

I groan into my hands, laying back on the cushion, “We were drunk! Sort of… We had a great day and it was actually fun like the type of thing friends do.” she nods at my words, “But then we were on the beach drinking and joking and he just… kissed me.”

Lily leans in, whispering, “Did you kiss him back?”

I bite my lip at the memory, nodding slowly. She screams again. I lay face down on the cushion as she taps my shoulder repeatedly and the boat starts to move. “Was it like a peck or make out?”

My cheeks get red so she already knows the answer, “Who stopped it?”

“Me? I think.”

“Did you like it?”

“Yes… God, Lily!” she’s smiling at me again, “He’s a good kisser. Also please don’t tell anyone! Especially the girls. I just don’t want it getting around or making anything awkward.”

“Of course I won’t! Even Alex, I promise.” she attaches her pinky to mine and grins, “I have so many questions and we will talk about this later but I have one thing I need to ask.”

I sigh, “Go ahead.”

“Do you want it to happen again?” I think I'm going to be sick.

⋆༺

LANDO

I find Lily and Y/n at the front, Y/n looks panicked at my appearance. “Can I talk to you?” She looks at me, then Lily.

I actually think she’s going to jump off the boat to avoid talking to me. But instead she goes for a quicker route, “I gotta pee.” I roll my eyes as she runs inside, slipping a bit at the wet deck.

Lily and I both watch her run, she just blinks and shrugs, “Good luck with that one.” She probably told Lily and it’s making me ultra aware that she knows I kissed her friend.

I settle back inside on the couch, listening to Charles tell a story while my eyes are completely distracted by Y/n laughing with her friends and eating raspberries.

I need to talk to her. She’s got a good poker face when she isn’t blushing and it’s practically impossible to get her alone.

“What about you, Lando? The only single one left!” Alex laughs and nudges my arm.

I laugh awkwardly, “Right.” I know the girls can hear this and I don’t want it to continue.

“So… how many models are you talking to?” Carlos asks as I scratch the back of my neck.

I shift my gaze to Y/n, who’s looks frustratingly good with her back arched, her elbows on the counter, and her eyes trying not to meet mine.

I run my tongue over my teeth and look back at Carlos, “You really wanna make that joke when your girlfriends a model, Sainz?” His face drops immediately and he punches my arm.

Charles and Pierre are crying laughing, “You two really wanna laugh?” They shut up real quick which makes me hear Y/n’s laugh.

It makes me smile and as soon as I realize why, I stop. “What about that girl you were debating on bringing?” Pierre snaps back fast.

“Hey, I was drunk and-”

“Pussy whipped!” Pierre coughs as Kika throws a raspberry at his head.

My friends start a new conversation (per the girls request) and move it out to the deck, Charles and Pierre arguing in french while they drive. I watch Y/n excuse herself and slip inside, and I follow.

I corner her outside the bathroom, her hands brushing through her half dried hair. She freezes, “Excuse me.”

She tries to walk past but I don’t let her. “Did I overstep?” She looks at me confused still, “Because I feel like an asshole.”

“No… You didn’t overstep.”

I groan, placing my hand next to her head against the wall, “So then talk to me.”

She crosses her arms, “I don’t want to.”

“Tough shit. You kissed me back.”

“I wish I didn’t.” She’s not looking me in my eyes and I haven’t been able to forget how she kissed me so I know she’s lying.

I step closer, “Try again, pretty.”

She looks up at me, her mouth pouty and her eyes big. “It was a mistake…”

I frown, “Mistakes can happen more than once.”

“Not this kind.” She lets out a breath, “I can’t stand you.”

“So use me.”

She opens her mouth, then shuts it. Y/n bites her lip and it takes everything in me not to physically whine. “You’re not mine to use.”

“I’m offering.”

“I’m rejecting.” that hurts way more than I expected.

“I’ll get on my knees.” Her hand goes to my arm that’s braced against the wall, her touch is soft and makes me weak.

I swallow and she clocks it instantly. “Go on, then.” I think I'm dreaming, but I’m not one to pinch myself.

I slowly sink to my knees, my hand trailing down the side of her body. I didn’t think she’d say yes. Right here? Where anyone could find us? I’ve never been more down for anything in my entire life.

She smiles, cute and innocent as if i’m not kneeling in front of her. God she’s beautiful. Her tanned leg moves to my shoulder and just as I think she’s about to pull me in, she shoves me back down.

I stare at her from my new place on the floor, her smile much wider now. She gets down to my level as I try to pull myself back up, she pushes me back down. “In your dreams, Norris.”

I breathe out as she walks up the stairs, my view cushioning the embarrassment I feel, “Trust me, you will be.”

⋆༺

YOU

My lovely friends have decided to have another lovely couples night. I honestly am excited to have a moment of peace after today's day.

I get all dressed up in my favorite outfit. A red cocktail dress that fits like a glove, white heels, and my hair wavy and salty.

I’m in a great mood, it’s the type of mood where i’m avoiding everything but am by the ocean so I can’t be sad! Everything is nice and well until I get turned away at the restaurant.

It’s the one place close to the hotel that I haven’t been, “I’m sorry, there just isn’t any table for tonight.”

So it appears that every single person has decided to settle down and wallow in self pity at this restaurant, “Please!”

“I’m sorry, we just can’t have you sit unless you have another-”

I hear him swear before I see him. He’s dressed up too, arguing with another waiter as he sets eyes on me, “Great.”

Lando’s face below me flashes in my mind as he looks at me as if he wishes I was anybody else, “I’ll eat with her.”

“Don’t seem so happy.” I cross my arms, my clutch in my hand as he walks closer.

“My beautiful date.” The word beautiful makes me drop my annoyed expression and I'm lucky he’s looking at the hostess, “One table, for two, please.”

We’re shown our table, given water and ordered drinks, but I refuse to talk first. Lando seems to have the same idea, sipping his drink and looking out at the dark water.

Still, He clears his throat and looks at me. His jacket is hung over the chair, a curl falling just perfectly down, and with his green eyes in the moonlight, he looks like a prince.

“Have a good day, pretty?”

“Are you small talking me now, Norris?”

His brow quirks as he brings his glass to his lips, “You’ve been ignoring me all day, what else am I supposed to say? Would you rather me beg?”

Maybe I would. “I saw Kika push you into the water today. You hit your head?” I fake pity, pouting.

“I must have because suddenly I'm imagining a very pretty girl run her very pretty hands through my hair.” He sits up straighter, “Hm… must be the head injury.”

I thought I would be more upset because of our dining situation. But I find myself smiling as he teases me. We order and he does the oddest thing… he starts asking me about my life.

“I know you. I’ve been around you. I’ve kissed you. Yet I don’t even know where you live.” I’m surprised but should I be? Just because I didn’t like him, doesn’t mean I didn’t laugh at his jokes.

So we start talking. And for about an hour and a half, it’s all we do. We talk with a side of food and a beautiful view. We talk about Formula 1, we talk about my work, we talk about my hair, we talk about his family.

He asks me about my pets and he doesn’t complain when I make a jab at his food which is plain as can be.

It’s the first time that I really believe we could be friends. It’s when I truly see the potential that my friends have seen. “We were too alike.” I snap my fingers together, swirling my pasta, “That’s why I hated you.”

“So you hated yourself? That’s quite harsh, pretty.” He’s finished his food, and is lounging in his chair. The restaurant is almost empty, we could sit wherever we’d like and leave too, but I keep talking.

“No. I mean you just clashed with me because two of the same personality is too much.”

“I think I think ‘too much’. Has me enjoying our date.”

I shake my head, “Not a date.”

“Totally a date.” He winks and I drop the subject.

“I think I didn’t like you because I liked you.” He says it so casually that I almost don’t understand it.

“What?”

“I really like you.” He nods and I wonder how many glasses of wine he’s had, “Y/n, i’m not drunk. I’m just honest. Don’t freak out i’m not gonna get down on one knee…” this makes him smirk, “Or two!”

“You can’t just dislike someone because you fancy them!”

“I don’t fancy you! I just… like you. I like the way you are around me and I really liked messing with you. You’re easy to frustrate.”

“I am not!” He raises a brow and I shut my mouth.

“Let’s get going… everyone’s party already at the beach club. You wouldn’t want to miss your local lovers.”

“Um… are you dining and dashing? We have to pay.” He scoffs. Actually scoffs at me!

“I already did. Come on.” He takes my bag and walks out.

At my request, Mamma mia plays from his phone as we walk down the path next to the beach. I spin around with my heels in my hand and my hair in my face. “Why can’t I live on an island!?”

“Why can’t you?”

I eye him, “I’ll live on an island when you buy me one.”

“Woah- I bought you dinner and you just started to tolerate me… Save the island for next week.” I smile and almost trip over something that hisses.

“Aw!” I practically scream and kneel down to it. It’s a tiny cat, orange and brown and rubbing against my outstretched hand, “Oh my god!”

“It’s gonna bite you.” I just roll my eyes and tug at his pant leg to join me.

The cat takes to him immediately, rubbing up against his leg and clawing up to his chest. I laugh as it falls off and comes back to me, “Cutie…”

I scratch its ear with my nicely done nails which he clearly appreciates. He starts licking my hand and I wish I had something to feed him. A small smile settles on my lips as the cool breeze brushes back my hair.

I look up to see Lando staring at me. “I really did mean it, when I said you were beautiful.” I feel a little sick at his words. The good kind of sick. The butterflies kind of sick.

The cat runs away when someone joins us on the path and I stand with him, “We should hurry, party time.”

⋆༺

LANDO

She left her purse in my room. We were heading back and I had to put down my jacket so we stopped in my room.

She left her bag which explains why she’s standing at my door in a matching pajama set and hotel slippers on her feet

“I need my mints.” She pushes past me and looks around for it. I help her because I have no idea where she put it either.

She had guys buy her drinks all night. You have no idea how much it killed me to see them all over her as if she wasn’t having dinner with me an hour before.

“Your room is a mess.” she says as she tears apart my nicely made bed.

“You’re tipsy, huh?”

She giggles as I lean against the door frame. She falls on my bed and looks up at the ceiling, “Guys love me!”

I shake my head and yawn. I finally find her bag, it’s in the bathroom for some reason and when I come back into my room to hand her it, she’s passed out on my bed.

“Y/n!” I shake her a bit but she only slaps my hand away, “You are so close to being in the correct bed! I found your purse.”

Her eyes open slightly, then she rolls over and moans louder, “Shh!” Then she’s out like a light. I hear her soft breathing and rustling around as I give up and sit next to her.

“I’m not sleeping on the couch!” I tell her but I know she’s already asleep.

She looks oddly peaceful. She looks tan and happy, even asleep on my bed. I accept my fate quicker than I probably should have, “Goodnight, then, pretty.” Flipping off the lights and pulling the blanket over her, I slip next to her and push a pillow in between us.

I don’t want her to wake up screaming after all.

I see her outline in the dark, the weight of someone sharing my bed, and the smell of her perfume I know is going to be there tomorrow. I see her, and curse myself.

She really is beautiful.

[hmusunoo]

I really didn't want to do this but at this point I cannot stand behind and allow a group of people to berate and bully my friends for simply putting boundaries between them. There has been so much hate and disgusting things happening on Tumblr lately and I whole heartedly believe that these people have to do with the many hate accounts circulating, I have a ton of evidence to why these people are not good people and they genuinely need to be stopped.

Bullying is not cute, it's not funny, it's not you being "Real." no, you're just being plain fucking mean. I have evidence on only a few people for things they have said and done, but I think that their entire friend group is guilty. I am almost certain that they send each other anon hate asks so that they can respond being "real" and get more attention on themselves.

Firstly, where I think this all originated, now I am telling this in a way that I can explain as best as I can and from when I was there, I know that prior to this incident these people had an issue respecting my friend Mars's pronouns (something they continue to do) When mars set these boundaries with an account called Jaeyunsonly, Eva (jaeyunonlys) continued to do it. Eva would call mars "girl" and Mars simply asked for her to not call them that, Eva apologized but then continued to do it, so mars unfollowed and made the decision to no longer associate theirselves with Eva, which is completely understandable and should not warrant the hate that their receiving.

Now, coming from where myself and Kaia come in. Kaia and Eva would talk very little I think I was told that had only had a total of two conversations and weren't close at all but still Kaia was friendly with Eva. Eva joined my discord server and she was really nice and cool at first. One night when myself and Kaia were on Vc as we did a lot Eva joined, we were ok with that of course anyone was welcome to join the vc. Eva mainly kept on mute and again, we were fine with that Kaia and I carried along with our conversation as normal. That was until Eva muted and told us that her friend was getting "freaky" to our American voices.

It had made me and Kaia a bit uncomfortable but we tried to brush it aside. After that Kaia decided to make a new smau and Eva messaged her with a message that had made Kaia a bit uncomfortable.

and although we can admit that this was in good faith, it made Kaia a little uncomfortable seeing as Eva and her were not very good friends and we had gotten bad vibes since she had said that her friend was getting "freaky from our voices" Kaia messaged Eva back, very respectfully to say that she wasn't comfortable with her unsolicited advice.

This was written very respectfully and after that Kaia was no longer interested in being Eva's friend. Which she HAS THE RIGHT TO. This is when the hateful messages started and the little indirects. We even shortly realized that a weird, ableist and quite frankly racist message that came into my inbox a while back was none other then Eva as well only further us not wanting to be associated with her.

Read it and weep, this is such a weird thing to say. There are ot7 briize of every race, nationality and everything why feel the need to attack one over the other and to also call them mentally challenged?? Actually insane, not even to mention the P DIDDY JOKES SHES MADE. Like what ? and Honeybelle, let me even get into honeybelle. This was her response to Eva's pdidy jokes.

was it "satire" to p diddy's victims honeybelle? was it just a "joke" to them. Like be so for real this is so disgusting, and saying it was just SATIRE. come on where is the accountability?

but I think its obvious that nothing bothers honeybelle seeing as she thinks its ok to write smut that includes minors even if theyre not included in the actual sexual acts.

Like what?? Here's the story too btw you be the judge, she also mentioned and later deleted that the reader was high school but a cam girl?? read these and ket me know exactly what the fuck you think.

"I realize that Riki is still a kid but im too lazy to re edit" what. speaks for itself.

She even deleted a sentence I very much remember where jay says to reader that "she is just a hole for Riki to fuck." like what?? that's sick. Not even to mention that Honeybelle's work is very very similar to Mars...anyways.

Something that mars tried to handle in private and was very respectful about, they use this as another thing to attack mars and Kaia about.

you would count this as resolved right? but they just cant seem to let it go. As they relentlessly continue to bully Kaia and mars over it. Kaia and mars have done nothing but set boundaries and theyre getting attacked for it.

In comes virtualhoon and all her friends or moots idk. And although Virtualhoon has a right to say whatever she wants on her account sure, she should not be allowed to BULLY people. You aren't being "real" you're being a mean girl. Then you say you want everyone out of your business but continue to make posts and respond to anons talking about the situations and lets me real, what are the chances that all this friend group is sending the anons to further the issue. Mars and Kaia have not spoken about it but when they do they get berated (I have further screenshots of this.)

but also the AAV...but anyways.

Bullies. bullies. bullies.

fast forward to today where mars was ONCE AGAIN, misgendered and Kaia came to their defense and this is their response.

like y'all think talking to people like this is ok?? no wtf. This is disgusting and if you think this kind of behavior is OK? you're just as bad. Also, isn't the way these people talk very very familiar to all these hate accounts floating around and if they can talk about people this bluntly then what do you think they say behind an ALT. I dont have solid proof of that but come on, we're not stupid.

also... come on this is so racist.

This is only scratching of what have done, if you go to virtualhoon's profile you can see countless times that she has attacked Kaia unprovoked. This is the act of bullies, i'm sick of the negativity on Tumblr but I don't care this has to be said.

@heeambi, @chobunz , @leeechin , @pshbites , @jaysng , @suneng

@coqhee , , @st1llm0nster , @nshmuras , @won4kiss , @wonsdoll , @jaemna , @vveebee ee , @lunesdesire e , @lvnglysunoo oo ,

just tagging moots for awareness, not saying you’re involved.

[casscainmainly]

I know your not really much of a Jason Todd fan but I kinda wanna hear your opinion on this. Is the Bruce Wayne Brainwshing Jason Todd still canon? If so so you think it’s out of character for Bruce to do this.

Also how do you feel about Bruce’s characterization in modern comics in general actually?

Honestly it’s one of the reasons I’m kinda hesitant to read the comics, because while I’m super interested in all the lore- both Batman himself and his family (especially Cassandra she sounds awesome I love characters that show unwavering, intense dedication to compassion)I DONT want to read comics where Bruce is like, a completely awful paranoid asshole with none ofhis redeemable qualities (I got interested in Batman via clips of the JLU/BTAS)And according to a lot of Batman fans his characterization in this respect has been on a downward spiral for years now.

Like I’m not even a “god dad Bruce Wayne” person, I think his actions regarding Stephane Brown make a lot of sense for him actually and play into the effect that Jason Todd’s death has on him well and kinda wanna read me about that outside of fanfiction.

PS.Sorry if this ask is long and kinda random, I know this is mostly a Cassandra Cain blog.

Interesting question!! I'm not an expert on Bruce or Jason, so I'll answer to the best of my knowledge. I'm assuming Bruce brainwashing Jason is a reference to Gotham War, when he injects fear toxin into Jason's brain to make him afraid anytime he experiences adrenaline. I haven't read this so I can't comment too much, but this breakdown is useful if you want context for what led Bruce to this moment; it did happen in an in-continuity comic, so yes, it is (unfortunately) canon.

Some things to note for the context of Gotham War is that Bruce is grappling with Zur-En-Arrh, a sort of second personality. While this doesn't make it good writing, Bruce is not 100% in-character when he injects Jason. Whether or not that absolves him of wrongdoing is questionable, but it's a little unfair to Bruce as a character, and even to Chip Zdarsky as a writer, to think the thing with Jason was meant to be an in-character moment. So while I do think injecting Jason is out of character, that's kind of the point of the arc.

That's not to say the run is well-written. I can't judge myself, but many people dislike this run for numerous reasons. But this is just one of Bruce's modern runs - there are many more amazing Bruce comics out there. Ram V's Detective Comics and Scott Snyder's Absolute Batman are two fantastic takes on Bruce (though the latter is an alternate universe and ongoing, it's so far extremely entertaining!).

There will always be better and worse times for a character's characterisation, and you will encounter some horrible stuff in canon, but you'll find some life-changing stories too. You sound like you genuinely want to delve into comics, so please do! Don't let the risk of reading something bad stop you - there is so much good in here, stories that will make you laugh and cry and stick in your mind forever.

Since you're specifically looking for dad Bruce Wayne stuff, here are some recommendations!

Batgirl (2000): a very nuanced portrayal of Bruce as a dad to Cass. Definitely not a Good Dad Bruce at all, but he genuinely loves her and tries his hardest. 5/10 on the Good Dad Bruce scale.

Tynion's Detective Comics (2016): very good starter comic in general for the Batfam, and Bruce has numerous sweet moments with Tim and Cass (Steph too, if you count her as a kid). 8/10 on the Good Dad Bruce scale.

Robin & Batman (2021): not 100% sure if this is in continuity, but it's 3 issues and a lovely depiction of early Dick and Bruce. Features very realistic mishaps on Bruce's part, but sets up the foundation for a strong, beautiful relationship. 6.5/10 on the Good Dad Bruce scale. (This is also getting a sequel featuring Jason!)

World's Finest: Batman/Superman (2022-): an ongoing series that is pure comic book fun. Robin!Dick features heavily here, and there's some wonderful Batdad moments. 8.5/10 on the Good Dad Bruce scale.

Tom Taylor's Nightwing: probably the best dad Bruce in modern comics, and has very sweet moments with Dick throughout. One big caveat is the characterisation can be off, so I recommend this only in the context of Bruce being a good dad to Dick. 10/10 on the Good Dad Bruce scale.

You also can't go wrong with either Batman and Robin (2011) or (2023), which focus on Damian and Bruce (haven't read either but 2023 in particular seems to have good dad Bruce). Batman & The Signal and Batman & The Outsiders (2019) have great Duke-Bruce moments, while Bruce Wayne: The Road Home: Batgirl is the best Steph-Bruce stuff we'll ever get that isn't wildly out of character. Batman and Robin: Year One is currently coming out for more Robin!Dick and Bruce relationship cuteness and drama.

I hope that answered your ask! I am mostly a Cass blog but I do love to talk about other characters so no need to apologise :)).

[jazeswhbhaven]

SitrixOC Astra (Third POV) Tags/Warnings: Vanilla, Fluff with porn, vaginal penetration, heavy petting, cardiophilia, Non-canon, Canon character x OC character Words: 2K+

Astra stood up, her head swimming after finishing the contract removal ritual with Sitri. Being only the second time she had performed this, it was natural that she would feel a bit woozy. 

Damn, I never expected to be this sick. But then again…I’m not from hell…

Ppyong looked at her, flying around in circles with a concerned look. “I think it’s time again, aye! Miss Astra, do you need it?” 

Astra looked up at Ppyong, trying to smile away the nausea that suddenly appeared. It was that time again, but she felt it was too soon. She had just received energy from Satan about a day ago. Or so she thought since the sun technically had not set yet. But who knew how time worked here? A day in Hell could mean two on Earth. 

“I’ll be fine, Pp-” Astra struggles to finish her sentence, nearly bending over and placing a hand to her mouth to keep from throwing up. She also felt like her lungs were caving in, each breath she took being harder than the last. 

“It’s time,” Sitri says, standing up and gently rubbing Astra’s back. She sat up and looked over at Satan who was staring at her wordlessly. 

“Okay, I admit it. I need energy again. But isn’t it too soon?” Astra gasps, holding onto Sitri’s sleeve.

“No, it’s your first time in Hell. You’ll need it more often until you’re used to it.” Satan spoke plainly as if Astra should already know this. She rolls her eyes and squints her eyes at him. 

“Then, will it be you again? Mister, chokes a lot.” She added sass to her voice, which made Satan chuckle boyishly as if he’d pulled the biggest “gotcha” moment. But Sitri kept rubbing her back and answered her question instead. 

“You have already exchanged energy with His Majesty. It would be wise to choose another devil now so one source won’t be exhausted.” 

“Oh.” Astra stood up fully, exchanging a glance between Satan and Sitri while rubbing her thumbs together. “So, I’ll be with you next?” 

Satan frowned, unable to hide his distaste but he knew Sitri was right. “Yeah. Astra, think of the place where you’re most comfortable. Like before.” 

“So we’re doing this now?” 

“Yes. Now.” 

Astra exhales slowly, letting her mind go at ease as she thinks of Minhyeok’s room. It felt odd, just like last time as if she were using his room in real time though it was just an illusion. She wasn’t actually in his room. She wondered if she could get over the guilt of having her first time be with Satan while doing it on what was a manifestation of her childhood best friend’s bed. Though, it was useless to dwell in the past. It already happened, and she needed this to stay alive. 

At the same time while zoning out, she could overhear Satan’s conversation with Sitri. 

“Hey.” 

Sitri stares at his superior, straight-faced as usual and attentive. “Yes, your Majesty?” 

“She’s mine.” 

“....I’m aware.” 

Satan was satisfied with the answer, not wanting to cause problems with his subordinate. However, there was something backhanded about Sitri’s statement that made him want to kick his ass. It was as if that lingering attitude he picked up from Hades was taunting him. 

“Your Majesty, aren’t you going with Miss Astra this time, aye?” Ppyong asks genuinely while flying around closely to the slightly ticked-off king. 

Satan swatted at Ppyong, scoffing and clicking his tongue.

“They sound like we’re in one of those dramas.” Astra thinks to herself, highly amused. Even though it was tempting, there was no time for Astra to say anything or focus on their banter, as Minhyeok’s room came into view. 

It’s cold again. Wait…

Astra took a look down, her body bare like last time. 

“Well fuck where did my clothes go again?” She covers her breasts, looking around for some kind of cover until- 

“Solomon.” 

Astra jumped, tripping over her own feet and landing on the bed behind her. In front of her stood Sitri, staring at her with pink cheeks while still holding a full cup of warm tea. 

“Nervous?” He asks, coming closer to her with a sincere tone to his voice. 

“No. Well, maybe. This is the second time I’m doing this.” Astra had to admit to herself that essentially having what was considered two dick appointments back to back was something out of the ordinary for someone like her. She was a virgin the night before, and now…

“Here, have some tea. It will help.” He offers his cup to her, Astra readily accepting. The smell emitting from it is fragrant and soothing, as she takes her first sip to test the temperature. It was smooth, quite honestly the most perfectly brewed tea she ever had in her life. Before she knew it the entire cup was gone, Sitri grinning from ear to ear as he took the cup back from her. 

“Sitri that was amazing…I’m already feeling-” Astra paused, putting her hand to her chest as her heart thumped wildly. The room was quiet, but now it sounded more like a symphony with her pulse echoing throughout the walls. She looked at Sitri, who was so red in the face and trembling that she knew something was not right. 

“Wait, this tea…is there caffeine in it?” 

“Why yes, it’s black tea.” 

Astra stood up, uncrossing her arms and pointing at Sitri with a firm pout, and her brow furrowed. “Sitri, this won’t calm me down. My heart feels like it’s on overdrive!” 

The other steps up to her, reaching his hand behind her head and bending down to take her lips in a slow and deep kiss. This was much deeper and intimate than the first time she met him. His tongue explored the remnants of the tea lingering in her mouth, his moans and whimpers flowed into her as he brought her closer to his body. 

“Your heartbeat…it sounds heavenly. So good…so loud.” He rasps, his deep pink hues meeting her gaze. 

Astra now could pay attention to the details of his eyes. His pupils, blue upside-down crosses. Swirls of deep and light pink in his irises mesmerized her and made her forget that she gulped down enough caffeine to have her wired for theoretically a week. 

“Solomon, your heartbeat…before then it was hard to concentrate on it. Erratic, mysterious, uncharted. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. But now, this simple, steady beat is enough. And I like it a lot.” 

Astra’s head was hazy from the kiss, but she then felt an overwhelming emotion. Disdain. There was one thing she couldn’t stand about Sitri since she arrived, and it was how she was constantly…ever so…compared to her ancestral grandfather. 

“I’m not him.” She gently pushes Sitri away, turning her back to him. “I don’t want to be compared to him. I don’t even know the man and you’re comparing me to him.” 

“Solomon, I didn’t mean-” 

“My name is Astra, Sitri. Astra. A-S-T-R-A. There is no Solomon in that name. Only in my blood. Don’t call me by his name when we’re like this. I don’t…I don’t like it.” With her heightened heartbeat, even more wild now that she was upset, the room shakes in response to her current state. Sitri’s arms wrap around her from behind, his lips against her neck as he gently kisses up to her earlobe. 

“I’m sorry that I’ve offended you, I don’t call you that to compare. It’s just…I’m so used to” 

“Then get used to me. Sitri.” Astra turns around, staring into Sitri’s eyes again before kissing his cheek, then his lips once more, wrapping her arms around his neck. In seconds, she’s lifted off the floor into his arms, her legs around his waist to brace herself as he carries her to the bed. With a gentle flop, Astra lands on her back, smiling and placing her foot on his chest to playfully push him back. 

Sitri smiles, taking off his top, the silky black fabric pulling over his head and falling to the floor revealing a well-toned, muscular physique that he was hiding effectively under it. Astra’s heart thumps louder upon seeing his frame, his tattoos now showing, and his waist, the ratio to his thighs better than any male model or porn star she’s seen before. 

“Wow...Sitri..” She gasps, feeling the arousal increase between her thighs. She reaches out to touch him letting the definition of his muscles flex and react to her fingertips. He sighed, leaning closer to kiss her forearm and flashing a gaze at her that was teaming with ecstasy. 

“You’re getting excited…if you could hear what I hear-” He shudders and exhales again, his eyes closing and opening slowly. “...you would understand how aroused I am right now.” 

Astra sits up, scooting her body closer to Sitri, her hands now at his waist teasing the waistband of his pants. 

“I want these off.” She says in a low voice, giving the other an innocent look. Sitri wastes no time, his pants removed in record time as they too hit the floor along with his underwear. Astra’s eyes take in the shape and size of his cock, noting that he was about the same size as Satan but slightly thicker. 

She allows Sitri to lift her once again, positioning her hips at the right angle before the tip of him kisses her entrance. Astra’s breath hitches, her fingers gripping his shoulders as she keeps her eyes locked with his. With a small nod to give him the signal, she feels his shaft slowly push past her wet folds. A whimpering noise escapes her throat, her head burying in Sitri’s neck and chest as she takes him all in one go until he bottoms out. Sitri sits for a minute, slowly breathing as his chest rises and falls. She could tell by the way he gripped her waist that he was savoring the moment, and pressing her chest against his so he could feel her heart thump faster now that he was nestled deep within her. 

“So…good. So steady. I want to hear more…” Sitri whispers in her ear before he pulls out and snaps his hips upward, causing Astra to gasp and cry out suddenly. He then evens out his strokes to the beat of her heart, the rhythm following closely at the same time hitting the right spots over and over. Astra felt no pain, only pleasure as she held onto Sitri the best she could. The way he was fucking her was more gentle, more sensual than Satan. Each thrust had meaning but was just as powerful and unrelenting. 

Before she knew it she was on her back, staring up at him from below as her chest felt as if it were on fire. Her heartbeat was rising, the steady thumps turning into fast-paced pulses as if she were running a marathon. 

“You’re showing off, is that for me?” Sitri asks with a grin on his face before leaning down and kissing the area where her heart was located. He bit down on the flesh, swirling his tongue before focusing on her breast and taut nipple. Astra arches her back, her legs not letting go of Sitri’s waist as he continues to pump into her wildly. Her hand curiously roams down his thigh, taking a handful of his toned and plump ass and squeezing it tightly. Sitri moans and pauses his movements, biting his lips, shaking, and looking at Astra with wild eyes. 

“Again, please.” He begs in bated breath. Astra grins and uses both hands to grasp his ass and mold the flesh between her fingers. She couldn’t believe he was so sensitive by just having his backside massaged when he took so many kicks from Satan. Perhaps it was different during sex, as with each squeeze and tap his cock swelled and throbbed inside her. 

“Oh, Sitri…you’re so hard you’re stretching me out…” Astra pants, the blue-haired devil leaning down to take her lips in a fervent kiss as continues to stay dormant in his position. As Astra kept her hands firm on his ass, he swirled his tongue with hers, growling and pressing his chest against hers.

As she pulls back from the kiss, that’s when she notices Sitri’s horn is gleaming in the light, covered in the same milky substance she experienced when playing with Satan’s horns. She grabs it, rubbing it vigorously. Sitri moans loudly, the sensation causing him to pause in his thrusting before he changes his pattern, his strokes now deep and in unison with her hand movements. 

“Yes…like that…fuck…” Sitri’s eyes close as he bites his lip.

Astra felt herself clench around his shaft, excited to hear Sitri curse as he did. He appeared so well-mannered and distinguished that he was like a different devil in the bedroom. She couldn’t say much more, the stimulation from the caffeine, the sex, and even stroking his horn was overwhelming. It was as if everything he felt, she could too. At the same time, she was moments away from passing out, her climax reaching its peak. 

“Sitri…I can’t…I’m about to lose it!” Astra cries and grabs his forearms tightly as she throws her head back, her walls closing even tighter around his cock as spasms rippled through her core. For a moment she thought her heart stopped, but the gentle kisses of Sitri let her know that wasn’t the case.

“That’s it…just like that, Astra.” Sitri saying her voice so sweetly made her whimper as another wave of pleasure hit her, this time a bit of fluid coating the other’s cock as he pulled out and slid back in to help her ride it out. “We can stop here for now…it’s a lot of you to take this much energy. Normally, you’d be able to exchange much more and receive more but this is enough. We’ll try again at a later time.” 

Astra felt her exhaustion hit like a brick wall, limbs heavy and the wild thumps of her pulse finally regulating and slowing to a normal state. She looks at Sitri with tired eyes, reaching out to him to gently cup his cheek, his lips kissing her palm. 

“Sleep well,” Sitri says, his nails gently tracing her jaw down to her chest. Astra smiles weakly before closing her eyes, Sitri’s swollen cock still deep inside of her until she is softly snoring. He removes himself reluctantly, wishing he could stay like this with her for a while longer. But he knew well. 

“Someday, I’ll do what I want to with you…and that’s when I’ll let you know my true feelings.” He says, picking her up into his arms as they sat in the manifestation of Minheyok’s room in silence. The steady beat of her heart intertwined with Sitri’s being the only thing that played like music in his ears.

[weekly-und3rvers3]

Week 1 - Rushed, Unfinished Cross’s Birthday Thingy

Creator: Me :)

Word count: 1,401 Notes: Something intended for Cross’s birthday but I never finished. Keep in mind, most updates will probably be fanon like this one:

It was never quiet.

Until Cross would walk into the room.

Usually it was only Killer who had the guts to talk.

“Heeeeey there Crissy Crossy!!!” It was still weird to have someone call him by a silly name like that. He had barely just gotten used to people calling him ‘Cross’ over ‘sans’ never mind whatever weird code names Killer uses.

He gave a silent nod, looking around the room, assessing the situation.

“It’s your birthday, ain’t it?”

“My what?”

“Birthday!”

“Um….. sure.” He took a spot on the same couch Dust and Killer was sitting, but well away from them. He didn’t want to cross any boundaries. Metaphorically and physically.

“C’mon Crisscross, don’t act like you don’t know!” Killer exclaimed, quite loudly. It felt off with how quiet the room was. “Don’t tell me you’ve never celebrated a birthday before? How stuck up was your AU that you didn’t even celebrate birthdays?”

“No. We did.”

“Killer, lay off ‘em.” He heard the gruff voice of Horror speak. It was weird to hear a voice like that. It sounded strained and itchy and like it hurt. They didn’t even have throats, how did that happen?

“I just wanna know what he wants ta do for his birthday!”

“No, you’re going to try and twist it into something you want to do.”  Dust cut through. “You know the new guy is uncomfortable so you’ll manipulate him and pressure him into doing something you want to do.”

“Me? I would never!”

Cross just sat, quiet and unsure of how to respond. Killer was quite loud and passionate, Dust seemed to be the voice of reason. The serious one. Be wary of him and act carefully around him. Horror was a sort of middle ground? The one to call them down if they got too rowdy and heated in an argument or conversation.

It would take a while to analyze them all and figure out their respectives roles to see where he could fit in with the mix. 

“So, Applesauce, what d’ya wanna do for yer birthday?”

Cross looked to Killer, they laid in Dust's lap, feet resting on his own lap.

“Thirty what years?” Killer asked. “Damn, you’re old.”

“You’re one to talk, dude.” Cross shoved their feet off his lap. “You’re way older than me, cryptid.”

“Thank you, I identify as Mothman thank you very much.” Killer fought back, moving their feet now on Cross’s chest.

He couldn’t help but laugh, shoving the other now fully onto Dust.

“Ey, don’t give the dumbass to me.” Dust spoke, pushing Killer off his lap.

“OW- HEY!” Killer exclaimed, making contact with the floor and looking back up at them. “RUDE! After all I’ve done for you!”

Cross and Dust laughed as Killer continued to complain. It was strange to think that just a couple years ago he was so intimidated by the other.

Suddenly, the lights went out.

He went quiet, quickly reaching out for Dust’s hand and holding it tightly. An unconscious decision he made to make sure the other was okay.

He assessed the situation. He knew it was probably fine. Maybe a power outage? It was an old castle nearing the middle of October. 

But he didn’t have to worry as he heard a voice behind him.

“Happy birthday to you.”

He could immediately recognize the voice as Horror’s. 

The way it was gruff and deep and honestly really nice to listen to, but Cross would never admit that out loud.

And don’t even get him started on him singing. Beautiful.

It only got better as Dust and Killer joined in, Horror now walking in front of him to show a cake, lit up with multiple candles on the top and side of the cake.

“Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to Croooooooossss”

“Applesauce.” He chuckled as he heard Killer mutter under their breath. They saw the sliver of a genuine smile on the other's face as they saw their silly little joke made him laugh.

“Happy birthday to you!!!!” 

Cross laughed as they hit a final note. And it was just….. indescribable.

Blowing out the candle, everything went dark as he heard the others cheer for him.

He laughed along, until he felt something grab his ankle.

“OH MY FUCK-“

The lights flicked back on, as he instinctively kicked whatever had grabbed him off. His foot, happening to make contact with Killer’s skull.

“Dumbass!” He cried at the other, sliding off the couch and onto the floor with Killer, grabbing his shoulder and holding his face gently, inspecting the impact.

“Hey there handsome~”

Cross made a face at Killer’s comment, a mix between disturbed, amused, and judgmental.

“You boneheaded.” The two chuckled as Cross clinked their foreheads together. 

“You okay, Kills?”

“Never.” Killer responded, holding Cross back.

“Alright chucklefucks, save it for after cake or get a fucking room.” They both looked to Dust who looked disapprovingly at them.

“Wanna get back up ona couch?” Horror asked, setting the cake on the table in the middle, before getting out plates.

“Yeah, get up here fucker.” Cross grunted, pulling himself and Killer up on the couch they were sitting on before, placing the other on his lap.

“Hey! You stole them from me!” Dust complained as Horror started cutting the cake.

“There’s still plenty of space, Sweetheart.” Killer invited the other, patting their lap and Cross’s chest. “I don’t mind sharing~”

“Gross actually. Nevermind. You can keep them.”

“Asshole!”

“Bitch.”

“Dickhead!”

“Loser.”

“Poopyface!”

“Woah guys, chill out! This is a safe space. That is no way friends talk to each other.” Cross spoke with an exaggerated teacher voice, breaking the two up.

“Hoe I sleep with that motherfucker. That bitch is more than just a friend.”

“Yeah I am. And I love you.”

“I love you too!”

“You’re great and I love you.”

“You’re amazing and I’m so happy to have you in my life!”

“You brighten my day and make my existence a thousand percent better.”

Cross just laughed, pulling Killer closer and hiding his face in their shoulder. 

“Oh my stars, I love you all.”

“We love you too, Cookie.” Killer spoke, putting an arm around him.

“Cake?” Cross looked up to see Horror handing him a plate with a slice of cake on it. 

“Thank you, Hun.” Cross smiled, taking a bite.

They all sat down, eating cake. Joking and laughing.

It was weird to think about, to Cross at least, how he’s come. How much he’s changed. How much he’s gotten to know the others. How much he had to face and overcome to get here. All the people he met, and all the people he had to say goodbye to. 

His first birthday here was a lot less eventful and a bit more awkward. 

Cake, generic presents because he was still new, no murder spree (to Killer’s dismay). But, that was about it. He didn’t even want to mention it was his birthday, he was surprised when Killer knew and blatantly asked him about it.

And now here he was. About five years with the Bad Guys. And he’s shoving them around, openly and comfortably telling them he loved them, making jokes and laughing.

He was glad it turned out okay in the end. He got to know everyone, and lived long enough to see today.

He was going to say something, no doubt something sappy, before he was interrupted by a voice behind them.

“….. Did you all really start without me?”

“Sorry Night.”

“Yup!”

“You were busy, didn’t wanna disrupt.”

“I blame Killer.”

Nightmare just sighed, taking a seat in his normal comfy chair. “Well, I’m here now. You’re lucky I care about you all and this is your birthday, Cross.”

Cross smiled softly, watching Nightmares dish a slice of cake. His first year, Nightmare didn’t even show up, too busy with his work. So he sent Killer on the job. That’s how Killer knew his birthday.

————————

“….what?”

“It’s your birthday, right?” 

Cross wasn’t sure, he hadn’t been keeping track for he days.

He turned to Killer who looked at him expectantly. And then to Horror who held the lit cake before him. And Dust, walking back over from turning off the lights.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Make a wish!”

This was weird.

He barely knew these people. 

Sure, he’s known them a little over a year, but he didn’t think they were close enough they’d do… all this…

[tethrras]

OK EVERYONE here is my CHESSA LORE so far

under the cut :)

her dad was a lowly goon in the cadash crime family hierarchy and he died shortly after she and her siblings were born in 9:11 Dragon - the cadashes decided they did not need to take care of 4 freeloaders and sent them on their way

their mom decided to go to ferelden, thinking they would need workers to help after the orlesian-ferelden war, but it turned out they did not :) so she started prostituting herself yayyyyyy!!! but this quickly turned into a series of unhealthy relationships with her patrons and yes this was happening with chessa and her siblings (they're triplets) on the other side of their shitty house in denerim

chessa started working in the market at a young age and learned how to charm people ;) but like genuinely LOL she got very good at sales and upselling and whatever. she's TECHNICALLY the oldest of the siblings (she was born on one side of midnight, her siblings were born on the other half) and so she felt like it was her responsibility to take care of them when their mom spiralled out of control

they were all adults by the time the fifth blight came around and swept through denerim, and by the time of awakening, they had gone to live in amaranthine; amaranthine was then also destroyed, so they moved up to highever, were chessa started working as a salesperson and her siblings did..... something IDK WHO CARES

she really liked highever but was starting to get bored, esp because her siblings were starting to get married and then checkra eventually had a couple of kids (carda would have them, but a bit later). she had some casual relationships with Sexy Human Guys but they all got boring eventually

when the inquisition started and she heard about inquisitor cadash, she totally thought it was a sign. so she joined up with the inquisition after skyhold where she met varric!!! who had become her favourite author!!!

inquisitor cadash is very much not a leader so chessa ended up giving her some advice and guidance (chessa is a few years older at this point). varric took interest in her bc she's gorg but also super smart and witty and could keep up w him in conversation

leliana eventually recruited her to be one of her spies - not a rough and tumble spy, more of an infiltration person. so chessa left and then her and varric started sending each other letters :) she was mostly like i'm gonna be bored and have no one else to write letters to... but she secretly loved the attention and just had a huge crush on him LOL

after inquisition leliana keeps chessa on as a spy and then eventually sends her overseas to kirkwall, where she hangs out with varric for a bit while working on a mission. they get close and kiss and have sex but they decide not to commit to anything

after trespasser, the inquisition is disbanded and leliana keeps chessa on as a spy DOUBLY for the solas stuff. chessa and varric decide to work together - she is henceforth inserted into the missing and any of the media where varric and harding are going on hunts for solas :)

they get really close and start an official relationship and are dating for a few years, but chessa brings up marriage and kids and varric is like Well what's the point. atp he has fully been to family gatherings in highever with checkra and carda's families (i actually hc they might've moved to kirkwall but more on that never). and so she's like :/ bc i love u and want a future w u? and he's like well with solas still out there there might not be a future? so she's like ok we're done then, i'll leave the solas hunting up to u and build a family with someone else

they don't talk for a year or two and then the solas investigation starts heating up again, so the 6 month period or whatever that rook is with varric and harding is actually chessa back with them helping the investigation, but they know a LOT more than before so she feels a lot more confident. her and varric reconcile and are together again for like 3 of the 6 months before veilguard takes place.

and then. well.

some fun facts!

chessa DID make her and varric get some of those forever-bracelets that ig influencers always promote i think that's suchhh a dragon age thing LOLLL, hers is silver and his is gold. she did also cut it off after they broke up. they get it fixed tho. lol.

absolutely a materialist and loves spending money but WILL NOT buy from a person who tries to upsell her

on that note she loves jewelry and has a bunch of chunky chains and bracelets and earrings. you can always tell she's coming bc she's clanking all over the place

her black lipstick is because she thinks it makes her look cool and hot 🫶

her and varric do eventually get in a spat bc he's like Stop buying me jewelry i can't wear it and you don't have enough money to be spending on it. then she sends all the jewelry she gave him to checkra and next time they visit he is DECKED THE FUCK OUT

she is a morning person and loves to wake up early to make sure she looks good for the day ahead :) starts getting sleepy super early and then pretends she is not tired. she has fallen asleep on varric's shoulder many times and sometimes she cannot be woken up when she's REALLY tired bc she's such a heavy sleeper

despite being the oldest of her siblings, she is the shortest (abt 3 inches shorter than varric). she never hears the end of it

and that's it so far :)

[onethousand825days]

I feel like I need to cry for an extended period of time

[honey-skulls]

HUGE VENT

I'm sorry but i need to get this out, just please don't worry too much or take anything personally/gen

My routine these last two weeeks has been:

-Wake up at my 10 am alarm and spend the whole day in bed, mentally and physically exhausted, brain fog and no motivation for anything, only getting up to eat, having to wait for the "food time" hours to roll around that my therapist gave me because I'm not allowed to eat outside of those hours and if I'm hungry but missed the last food time then too bad, struggling to stay awake because again I'm not allowed to sleep out of the "sleep hours" she gave me and that includes naps, excitedly waiting for 21h30/22h to roll around so i can finally sleep

-Spend the evening mentally screaming in my mind because, while my body is still just as physically exhausted, my mind is suddenly sharp and full of ideas and motivation, but i'm still too tired to get up and draw

-Then spend midnight and onward rolling around in bed, hot and bored out of my mind because my physical tiredness also vanished, but i'm not allowed to get up and draw because it's "sleep hours" and i need to reschedule my body, and end up falling asleep at around 5 am

I'm totally not slowly loosing my mind 😃👍

Edit: Oh also the constant noise in my ears has gotten worse, i don't know what silence is anymore

Silence is actually worse than loud rooms

It's driving me insane

It's so loud

[todayisafridaynight]

any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that

if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it

[hella1975]

my mum: you've been doing really good lately. every part of your life is really stable and you seem genuinely happy, it's great to see :)

me, who's felt like ive been going actually crazy bananas insane for months now: yeah haha

[enigmatic-jinx]

Hate trying to search for specific things on the internet only to never find the thing im trying to look for 😒

[twig---verginix]

swear to god i'm just gonna stop watching the endings to shows i like. good shows need to get cancelled on cliffhangers forever

[thecherrygod]

I just woke up from.. such a dream that. Was completely unnecessary.

[collie-reblogs]

Had an edible for the first time on Friday. I got scared but it was like roller coaster scared so I had a pretty good time. I'll probably do it again in a couple weeks.

[wavernot4love]

alright y'all lil (alright, maybe not so little) recap of the second show of AG's Boom Done tour last night 3.4 in Buffalo @ one of my favorite venues, Mohawk Place. because my brain commits absolutely everything to memory at shows & i like writing it all down before i forget

(for fun & plus maybe folks going to this tour want to know what's shakin, since i haven't seen much online yet):

(note there will be setlist spoilers)

- alright so first, a freakin HIGHLIGHT for me was, of course, GET OUT!!!

Anthony was just kinda messing around with his guitar & then teased it by being like "hmm... how should i play this..." and then went into that and the crowd reception was AWESOME, dude. whatever the opposite of masking is, that's what i was doing there. i definitely started physically jumping up & down once i realized what it was (typical wavernot4love @ the AG show behavior). aka evidently he knew your boy (who like i've mentioned on here, got into Circa last summer through a kind person at a Dunes show rec'ing me Get Out & then BSN. Get Out was straight up my introduction 2 Circa) was in the building (/Ih).

also, i had to shorten my clip to post because in the rest i must've had my phone right next to my mouth,,, which made for some horrifying tone deaf live vox from wavernot4love. be glad i spared y'all from that one.

(i'm gonna put one of those keep reading thingies here, click it 2 see the rest)

- he also played Dyed In The Wool & Frozen Creek, continuing that theme (though I expected these more since he's played em recently). Dyed In The Wool with everyone singing along during the chorus was probably my top moment, and one that's gonna stick with me forever, honestly. i remember thinking it straight up felt like, a churchlike (but positive) experience or something during the songs everyone did that for (remember, it's just anthony this tour no backing band, so it was somewhat quiet in there). more on that later, but AG kept pointing out how nice the singing along was & how fun/awesome this all was, and man, that it was.

- he mentioned valuing spontaneity over a planned setlist every night and basically implied he was just goin for whatever felt right at the time. so just consider the songs i mention here as a basic guideline, he could very well switch stuff up every night. i love that he's like this when it comes to shows - idk dude, like, at one point he even asked folks what time it was, laughing when they told him, jokingly accusing them of being untrustworthy & then going right back into the tunes. dude was just here to play, for as long as he could.

- kinda tied to that, there was a running gag of the set being "inconsistent" (his word). he'd bring up jokingly that there'd be moments where everyone could be singing along, and then songs that nobody knows (and he'd jokingly "apologize" for that), and he'd even (lightheartedly) call specific people out and be like (to laughs) "look at this person, they have no *idea* what i'm gonna play next!" actually i think he said that before Get Out. at one point he was (paraphrased slightly) like, "so if i start playing 12 Circa songs in a row, let me know." i love how he just does whatever the hell feels right in the moment.

- also a couple times he messed up while starting a song (i think due to laughing) and bro would call out folks laughing at him for it (lightheartedly) and be like "this is all performance. vou don't know what goes into this!" (this was not at all serious and said through laughter. straight up half the show was all of us in that room just cracking up together)

- he introduced his Title Fight cover (Numb, But I Still Feel It) by calling TF one of his favorite bands & joking that they're gonna hear this & think it's time to get back together so... if you hear that Title Fight reunited, you know why, which, well, if you know that side of the scene, you know what's up. real shits and giggles moment, if i do say so myself.

- at one point (only bad thing) someone at the front was being objectively Weird in the way people (unfortunately) do to try to get an artist's attention (let's just say it involved throwing money (????? literally what) while yelling stuff about understanding because they're in the industry (??)) and he honestly handled it with so much grace. he pretty much said that made him uncomfortable etc and he would Not be taking more of their money please, he already did that, and that led to him ranting for a second i think mostly to himself in a thinking out loud/under his breath kinda way about *hating* having to sell stuff in the first place in order to do this and like,,, i go into this a bit in the tags but it genuinely reminded me of how i get when i'm passionate about something. what i'm trying to say, is dude clearly was heated & meant it. fully. just felt relevant to include

- then he ranted about something related to the moneythrowing, drunk (question mark) weirdo (long story, but it ended in him telling them to tip bartenders with their money instead of weird things), then used that to go on a tangent about how we should always tip people working in service in general and respect/be kind to them even if they seem rude or whatever because doing that shit is hard & sucks and maybe your kindess will be the wakeup call that causes them to one day have a moment where they're like, man, i was a dick back then for no reason. (i feel like i am nearly direct quoting him here)

- then after a song he joked about the incident saving we were probably just all watching like 🧍‍♂️ and it was like watching dad yell at mom at the dinner table while you just sit there staring at the ground and safe to say the mood was fully lightened after that moment of self awareness fhfhfh

- then a few songs later i guess the person that was being weird had left so he was like, (at this point there were no weird vibes whatsoever, like we were all just scoffing/laughing at the situation and cheering him on) "oh that person who hates me left. did they give the bartender that money?" (someone implied they thought so) and he was like "good." and that was the end with that weirdo situation lol. i have absolutely no idea why that person, drunk or not, thought that was a normal cool thing to do. as always, please don't be weird 2 musicians they are in every sense just Some Guys (gender neutral), treat them like anyone else.

- back 2 totally unserious things, during... uh don't mind me, like i've said in my previous posts i'm still getting 2 know Boom Done, so whatever song has like, the horns kinda near the end? he just started making freakin. horn noises since since there were, in fact, no horns in the building and made us all do them too and everyone was just straight up cackling because it was so stupid (/pos).

- idk one thing that stood out to me was one person belting along at the end of... i can't remember what song it was actually, i think one of his older tunes, but you could tell he heard & a song later complimented it & said it was beautiful. i'm telling ya, he kept going on about how nice folks singing along sounded and encouraging that, which was awesome because i wasn't sure what the vibe was gonna be there since it was just him playing.

- don't want to go into detail since it feels like something between Anthony & whoever he decides to tell it to in real time, ya know, but he did tell a pretty extensive story leading up to Miracle Sun. in terms of themes, it was in regards to (with plenty of laughs mixed into the serious bits, of course) letting folks that matter to him down + falling into a cycle of engaging in stuff that temporarily made him feel better but was moreso just self destructive, in the past. just interesting stuff to hear in connection to a song.

- at the end, before Dear Child, he just talked in the most honest manner about knowing he's let people down, cancelled shows (there were laughs mixed in here too), just not been the best version of himself over the years etc, but appreciating how long everyone has stuck around, and how we keep coming back, & jow much it means whenever we tell someone go check out a song or anything like that, & helping him continue to do this and also support his family and whatnot and man it just. embodied everything i love about AG solo sets i guess. i just admire how open a book &p vulnerable dude is. while i love his more theatric frontman persona of course as it's fun as hell, it's so nice at solo shows like this to hear more from him, in seriousness and otherwise. also dude was posting about how fun it was on instagram later so i'm just glad we all had a great time.

- also at one point before a new tune he was talking about these cds he had that have that on it + some rerecordings, Frozen Creek (feat. Keith of GOW), etc. i love cds so i ran to snag one later of course (they're $12)

- as for other merch he had a few shirts (like that cute one i keep seeing around, with him & the puppy), some art prints, & the Boom Done book thingy (i really wanted it but couldn't swing the $25 right now sadly)

anyways,, i posted on Setlist FM for the first time, here are all the songs i remember for sure (there were definitely at least 4/5 others i am not thinking of, i'd say he did 17ish songs, he played for close to an hour and a half. keep in mind he talked a LOT with us which was awesome)

edit: someone added a few more!!!

anyways, that's the show!!! 1. i may or may not be trying 2 figure out how to pull off one of the other northeast dates (looking @ Cleveland, which is closer but i'd have to drive to, or New York, which is further (+ yknow.. dealing w getting around in NY) but i could take a bus to, this weekend/next week as we speak,,,, that's how freakin good and homey (more on that in the tags aka uhh literal diary section of this post) and impactful this show was.

and 2. if any of this (especially said tags) sounds loopy it sure is because i wrote most of this at roughly four am last night post show, when i was even moreso still back *at* the show in my head. i still stand by all of it though of course, i just know it might not be the most coherent.

this tour rocks. AG's tunes mean so much to me. get out 2 a show!!! tell me about your experiences if ya do/did!!!! yay!!!!