#So yeah i guess i have a lot of negative feelings about this movie after all

[buuniebaby]

your first time with hamzah 🙈🙈

THERE’S A FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING. 🎀

includes: losing your virginity, awkward sex talk, very sweet sex ! 💝

word count 3.2k purr

you’re too tired for this.

you and hamzah are becoming sleep deprived, something you usually do together: come over to each others houses, watch a movie, eat food your stomach will regret in the morning. it’s been a tradition since you guys were just friends.

even now as you’re dating, it still feels.. the same. not that you’re complaining; you love having a partner who’s also a best friend to you. it just feels like there should be some sort of change, but you can’t put your finger on it.

it’s 2 in the morning now. you and hamzah have watched about 3 shitty 2000s movies, enjoying every moment of each one. your brain feels absolutely fried, and you can only imagine his is as well.

“are you a virgin?” hamzah spoke suddenly, but also casually. a little too casually. you choke on your own spit at that, face turning red with embarrassment.

“…what?” is all you can reply back. “what- why?” you say, eyebrows furrowing at him. your voice has noticeably pitched up.

“i dunno. just tell me.” hamzah says, rolling his eyes. you hate how confident and sassy he is, but you’re also sort of attracted to it.

“you’re so weird.” you practically squeal, jokingly. you grab onto a pillow as you fall back first onto the bed. “why do you even wanna know? that’s so like, random.” you ask, more genuine this time.

“i guess,” hamzah starts, but then pauses, almost as if he doesn’t know the answer himself.

“i was just kinda thinking. like, we don’t really talk about sex, ever. and we don’t have to- I don’t wanna bring it up if you’re uncomfortable. I’m just like, curious if you’d be down to talk about it.” he rambles, making up his words as he goes. you furrow your brows as he speaks, still kind of confused. you know there had to be something that started it, you just aren’t sure what.

“oh. well like,” you flush, sort of embarrassed to admit what you’re about to say. “yeah, i am.”

“a virgin?” hamzah asks, head tilting like a lost puppy.

“yes, idiot. what else would i be talking about?” you reply back sarcastically.

“you’re right, you’re right,” he banters with you. “I just- I guess I’m surprised.”

you perk back up, sitting yourself upright again.

“surprised.. that im a virgin?” you question, raising an eyebrow.

“i guess.. i dunno. I just feel like you’re like, too pretty to not have found someone who wants you like that.” he rambles. you feel a blush creep onto your cheeks again, knowing he’ll always praise you for your pretty face.

“i mean, I’ve found a lot of people who want me,” you say, rolling your eyes at the thought of a particular ex. “I’m just like, picky, I guess.” your giggling as hamzah somewhat laughs with you, but you watch as his facial expression starts to falter. you know something’s on his mind.

“do you want to?” is all he mutters. again, he keeps this quiet, casual tone that you rarely see with him.

“i mean, yeah, kinda. I just like, don’t know where to start I guess.” you answer honestly. “feels like everyone’s way more experienced than i am anyways.” hamzah turns over to you, looking in the eye. you feel him think for a second, as if he doesn’t know whether he should let his thoughts out or not.

“well, I don’t really have experience either.” he mutters back, scoping for a negative reaction from you. your eyes widen a bit, and he doesn’t know if he should take your body language negatively or positively.

“you’re a virgin too?” you ask, a more shy tone than usual.

“..yeah. well I’ve done like- stuff. just like, never had sex. never had my penis like, in there, y’know-“

“you don’t need to go into detail.” is all you have to say, talking over him.

“-but i would go all the way with you.”

that’s all you remember from that night before blacking out, yet somehow the short memory haunts your mind. it’s eating you up inside, the thought of losing your virginity after so long to him.

you’ve seen all the edits and thirst traps of him online and can admit that they’ve made you feel some type of way about him - hell, you’ve touched yourself to the idea of your boyfriend too. yet for some reason, the thought of actually having sex with him was never really a priority to you. it’s not until now you’ve understood people’s cravings for sex, but god can you feel it now.

you’re making breakfast the next morning while his hands are around your waist and all you can think of is that conversation. when you help him with editing throughout the day, leaning over his shoulder, all you can think about is him having you bent over like that in a different context. you feel like you’re in a haze almost, clouded by the thought of hamzah.

“baby?” hamzah asks, waving a hand in front of your face in an attempt to get your attention. you perk up and face him, slightly embarrassed for spacing out.

“i was just gonna ask if you wanted me to order something for lunch.” he says casually, but his face begins to fade into an expression between concerned and confused. “you okay?”

“what?!” you reply, scrambling at bit as you didn’t think he would pick up on your behavior. “im fine. what do you mean??” you question; rapidly.

“you’ve just been like, really spaced out today. i get like that, where i like dissociate sometimes when something reallyyy bad happens. so i just wanted to make sure.” he rambles a bit, genuine concern in your eyes. despite the horniness driving your body right now, you do feel a bit warmed by the way he cares for you.

“you can always talk to me if something’s up, y’know-“

“did you mean it?” you ask, staring at him blankly.

“mean… what?” he stares back at you, looking at you like you just killed a man in front of him.

“what you said last night. that you’d like- y’know..” you look down shyly, hiding in your hair as a warm blush creeps onto your face.

“that I would..?” hamzah looks at you, genuinely clueless.

“lose it to me hamzah. have sex with me. loose your virginity.” you look up at him, speaking sternly. you’re a little too pent up to take his stupidity today.

you watch as his expression changes, going from confused to something you can’t even put a name on. a mix of shocked, embarrassed, amused - but most prominently, you watch that urge crawl up into his body. you can tell in his eyes that he wants you in the same way you crave him.

“yeah.” he says, breathy. “i want that. like, now though? or like later, what are we doing-“

his words are cut off as your lips land on his. he gasps into the kiss, caught by surprise. you try and swipe your tongue against his slightly parted lips, but he pulls away before you can get it anywhere significant.

you look at him concerned after he pulls away, taking a second to breathe.

“have you like- kissed anyone before?” he asks, and you can tell he’s serious. you giggle a little.

“yes, ive kissed before.” you say, a little smile still formed on your face. “buuut..” you drag on your words to edge him on a bit.

“ive only made out with someone once, and i can already tell you’re the better kisser.” you say, slyly. he likes it when you boost his ego like this - he’s already proud of himself for pulling you, so you make him feel like some sort of greek god.

he smirks before he pulls you into another kiss, this time pressing his lips to yours a lot firmer. it’s more intense this time around, a hand cupping the side of your face, holding you in place for him as his tongue glides inside your mouth.

you kiss until you physically can’t anymore, pulling back when you need a break for air. there’s an awkward silence before he kisses you again, putting his hands on your waist sometimes. you’re taken aback a bit as he lifts you in the air.

your immediate reaction is to hook your legs onto something, hamzah just being the nearest option, of course. your legs wrap around him, straddling his hips. you arms are grabbing onto his shoulders gently. he’s strong enough to hold you without support, but you like the physical aspect of clinging onto him like a koala.

he reaches the room, fumbling with the doorknob as he struggles to lift you at the same time. he kicks the door closed softly behind him when he eventually gets in there. he drops you in the middle of the bed, body landing gracefully.

you sit yourself up into a more comfortable position, and hamzah sits himself right next to you. it’s here when you realize how comfortable you are around him, even if you’re about to reach a life milestone you can never take back with him.

but fuck, you’re never gonna be able to take this back. the anxiety crawls back up into your brain for a second, but the feeling of hamzah’s hand on your thigh relaxes you. a single look into his eyes and you’re already reassuring yourself again. you’re not gonna want to take this back, because god, you love this boy.

“have you ever-“ hamzah pauses mid sentence, stuttering. he does this when he doesn’t know what words to use; it’s one of his mannerisms that you’ve picked up a little yourself over time. “like, felt anyone up? or like- dry hump them, I guess.” he says. you feel him cringe a bit at his own words - he gets embarrassed easily.

“not really,” you say. a smirk creeps onto your face as you have an idea. “but you could show me how.”

hamzah’s eyes widen a bit as his hand moves from your thigh to your waist. he picks you up again like it’s nothing, sitting you down on his lap. his hands massage your waist, moving up briefly past your chest. he runs at your collarbone for a minute, staring at your clothed breasts.

“can i take this off?” he asks in a low voice, toying with the fabric at your shoulders. you bite your lip as you give him a nod, and before you know it whatever garment was covering you before is gone.

“fuckkk,” is all hamzah lets out before a hand is cupping your chest, squeezing at your soft and fleshy skin. instinctively, you push your chest into his hands. you let out a soft noise as he rolls one of your nipples between his fingers.

he’s fully hard now, and you can feel it straining against you. you can tell he’s trying to keep his hips still, not wanting to get worked up too fast.

his hands leave one side of your chest as his mouth attaches to your other nipple. you can’t help but moan at the feeling of him suckling at it. he pulls of for a second, and you can feel his hands fumbling with the fabric of your bottoms for a second.

“take this off for me?” he pleads in a sweet tone, and you can tell he’s starting to get needy. you comply, of course, leaving you in just your underwear. you don’t want to be the only one undressed though, so you shimmy his pants down a bit and get his shirt off too.

you’re left in both just underwear - a weird feeling. there’s not a lot of fabric separating your crotch and hamzah’s, so when he bucks his hips up into yours it feels good. he ducks down to kiss you again, chest pressing to yours, and god, you feel like you’re in heaven. there’s heat burning through your body as your bare skin touched his.

his hands are on your hips as you grind against him, the thin material of his boxers straining against his cock. he reaches down to rub you through your underwear, eliciting a moan as you hide his head in your shoulder.

he stops your grinding for a second, a hand trailing up your thigh. he uses it to spread your legs wide, causing you to make a small noise. he pulls your panties to the side, showing off what he’s wanted all this time.

he’s already settling lower, head balance with your hips, and now you’re nervous. it’s your first time being touched like this - probably his too, and it’s scary. you close your eyes when you feel him plant a kiss on your hip, teasing you. he continues to kiss around, even guiding a hand back up to play with your chest, but it’s not enough.

“please,” you whimper, begging for more stimulation. hamzah takes it as a sign you’re ready, and before you know it, you’re squirming again.

he presses just a single finger inside you, scoping how much you’re able to take. your stomach flips as you feel him spread you open. he adds another finger once the first one is in knuckle deep, then begins to curl them inside of you. you whimper at the feeling as his fingers excel in speed, working you open.

“hamzah- fuck.” you whine, letting out an especially sharp gasp at the feeling of his fingers hitting that spot.

“yeah?” he asks, playfully, curling his fingers to hit the same spot. your pelvis thrusts up at the movement, only motivating him to go further. his hands are so fucking big and he’s so strong when he thrusts his fingers up into you. it burns in the best way possible.

“ah- hamzah!” you squeal, squirming around. you whine when you feel him pull away from him; you were so, so close to finishing. you look up at him and whimper, a sad expression plastered across your face.

“didn’t want you to cum yet,” hamzah mutters under his breath. “not done with you.”

you flush red, his words washing over your body in a hot wave. suddenly hamzah is moving, pulling down his boxers, and god his dick is big. you can’t help but whine at how badly you want it inside you.

“so noisy.” he mumbles, lining his cock up with your folds and sliding the tip between them. you only whine more at his teasing.

“hamzahh,” you complain, eager for him to stop teasing you and just put it in.

“mhm?” he replies, edging you on. he strokes himself a bit, acts as if he’s going to put it in, but then doesn’t. he knows what he’s doing and you hate it. “need something, baby?”

he’s so mean, making you beg.

“I need it so bad, hamzah, pleeasee-“ you beg, desperate. you don’t care how humiliating it is now, you need him.

“need what, baby?” he asks, obviously only to get a reaction out of you. you sigh, but you know what you need to do.

“fuck me, hamzah. i need you - your cock.” you beg, no - demand, firmly.

hamzah doesn’t stall once he’s gotten what he wants. he’s done with the teasing, pressing his tip into you. you let out a shaky moan - it hurts a little when he slides in, like ripping off a bandaid.

“hamzah- hurts.” is all the words you can get out. his hips still inside of you, waiting for you to take a breath before he continues.

“it’s okay baby. gonna feel better once I’m all the way in.” he mutters, caressing your cheek with the hand that isn’t holding him up. he wasn’t lying - it’s painful as he slides himself into you, stretching you out, but once your hip-to-hip with him there’s a comfortable peace to the feeling.

you two lay in that position for a minute, feeling the warmth of connection between your bodies. it’s a soft, loving touch - you feel safe in his arms.

“s’okay if i move now?” he whispers to you, keeping a gentle tone. at the end of the day, he’s here to take care of you.

“yeah. thank you.” you say, genuinely grateful for his patience. you remind yourself that it’s his first time doing this too; you’re not alone in your anxiety.

you clutch onto his shoulders as he nearly pulls out, cock sliding out of you to the tip, then slams back into you.

“h-hamzah!” you whimper, clawing your nails at his back. he keeps a similar pace, thrusting into you deep. even hamzah makes a small noise at the feeling of being inside you, hips stuttering against yours. the sound of skin slapping together and breathy moans fills the room.

you wrap your arms and legs around hamzah as he continues to thrust into you, clinging to him.

“so pretty.” he says, looking down at you. “there’s a reason- fuck- i wanted to fuck you in missionary. pretty face.” he stutters, moving a hand to caress your face. you can’t say anything else but whimper at him, overstimulated from a combination of his thrusts and his words.

you feel a tight feeling build in your stomach, almost like a coil nearing its breaking point. you clench around him, legs beginning to shake.

“aah- hamzah! fuck-“ you practically scream, rolling your hips up into his one last time before you orgasm. he just stares at you, slowing the roll of his own hips, in awe.

you notice as his pace slows after you catch your breath, looking up at him almost disappointed.

“what’re you doing?” you mumble, voice worn out.

“you finished, i don’t wanna-“ he begins to ramble, but you cut him off.

“keep going.” you say firmly.

“huh?”

“want you to cum too.” you say, voice still soft and tired. you roll your hips up into him, still sensitive. he nods, pushing back into you.

he continues to thrust into you rougher and rougher until his hips are slapping against yours with every thrust. every little noise you make turns him on more, until finally, he forces himself to pull out of you.

he strokes himself on top of you, a string of cum landing on your stomach. he’s panting as he finishes all over you, painting your stomach white. you smile at the scene, enjoying the was he’s made you his little art piece.

he collapses next to you, laying on his back, catching his breath.

“glad i waited.” you mumble. he turns over to you, looking into your eyes.

“waited for what?” he asks, tiredly tilting his head.

“like, to have sex. m’glad I waited until you.” you mumble, tiredness apparent in your voice. hamzah thinks his heart melts a little at your words.

he grabs a tissue off of his bedside table and wipes the cum off of you so that he can pull you into his arms, dragging the covers over your body.

“i’m glad i waited for you too.”

[david-talks-sw]

I got a good feeling about "The Acolyte"

Not even kidding. Like, I've spoken before about why I'm wary of it.

George Lucas' Star Wars is something that intentionally has black and white morality, rather than shades of gray. Those movies are meant for kids and projecting a "gray" morality onto them then proclaiming it was George's vision all along is doing so in bad faith.

The narrative of the Prequels doesn't frame the Prequel Jedi in as negative a light as Leslye Headland, Dave Filoni, etc etc do.

See here for more details, but bottom line: yeah, a show that has a darksider as the underdog is bound to demonize the Jedi (who are the actual underdogs in the Prequels), and obviously that rubs me the wrong way.

BUT.

The trailer looks fucking cool. It really really does.

And more importantly? I've done some research... and Leslye Headland is ticking a lot of good boxes, in my book.

1. The Acolyte won't be a 10-hour movie.

I've criticized Disney Plus shows before, explaining that a big source for most of their issues is that these series are being structured as "long movies" rather than, y'know, actual shows.

But in this interview with Collider, Headland addresses that: it'll be a series. Not a long movie that you need to watch across four weeks.

Thank God. You have no idea how much that comforts me. Finally a showrunner who's, y'know, actually running a show.

And this goes hand in hand with what she told IGN, here, about how she's going about building suspense.

Yes! Exactly! That's how it's supposed to be!

Like, compare this to Baylan Skoll's storyline in Ahsoka.

In no possible way was that emotionally-fulfilling. For 8 episodes we had no idea what he was after, and the season ended where we still don't know. What does he want? What is he after? Your guess is as good as mine, it's something Mortis-related.

So yeah. Maybe getting the Emmy-nominated trained screenwriter on board to run this was a good idea.

2. Maybe the Jedi will not be as demonized as I originally thought.

Don't get me wrong. 80% of what she says about the Jedi makes me cringe. It's the typical fan's interpretation and y'all know I disagree with that interpretation.

It's painful to see her refer to the Jedi as an institution (not how the Prequels' narrative frames them) and to see her frame "Balance" in the "oh there's so many of them and just two Sith, that means the Force is out of balance" meaning... but at least she acknowledges the Jedi are a benevolent institution.

They're not an "elitist force hiding in their ivory tower" as others have described the Jedi.

Moreover, there'll be a variety of Jedi POVs, many personalities.

Yord Fandar, is described as a strictly by-the-book Jedi Knight and guardian from the Jedi Temple, is an overachiever and a rule follower.

The question now becomes: will the narrative frame him as "your typical Jedi" or is it just this one guy? I'm hoping it's the latter.

I also like how her reasoning goes re: Jedi drawing their lightsabers.

Which explains the hand-to-hand combat seen in the trailer.

This teenager is coming at Carrie-Ann Moss with a dagger, of course the Jedi won't draw her saber.

3. She's a fan of Star Wars... but a screenwriter first.

You can tell in the interviews she's a fan. She's using words like "BBY" and "EU" casually. In the above-linked interviews she's bringing up the Nightsisters, Timothy Zahn, The Clone Wars, she mentions she has a tattoo of Ralph McQuarrie's concept art of Leia, the High Republic books, etc.

She's done her homework. She's a fan.

But the vibe I'm getting from these interviews is that she's weaving in these various lore-elements in a more organic way, rather than in the "fan-servicey" way Dave Filoni has been doing in his shows.

The references and Easter Eggs will be there, but the narrative won't bend over itself just so you can get it. Crafting a good story comes first, and Andor is a beautiful illustration of why this is true.

Which is why I was never bothered about one of the writers never having watched Star Wars before getting the job. You need those fresh eyes when you're tackling something of this scale.

That makes sense to me. Maybe it's because of my own screenwriting experience, but yeah. That out-of-the box perspective is precious.

And like, obviously, that writer watched the films eventually, but for some reason everyone who bitched about Headland omitted that detail and opted for a more bad faith interpretation.

Hm. Wonder why.

Maybe it's the same reason that months ago this clipped audio circulated socials without context, in which she debates whether Star Wars only came from George Lucas and only Lucas is the key.

The FULL context of that interview reveals that she's actually:

debating the "autheur director" myth and positing that it was achieved by a collective of excellent filmmakers and craftspeople that George was skilled and smart enough to recruit...

the studios now think it's a simple as hiring one guy and throwing money at him, because they have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. See Napoleon (2023) for example.

Yes, she also does a jab to the Prequels, which speaks to the generation of fans she's a part of... but overall she's giving Lucas props whilst also stating an ideological difference, that's it!

George is a proponent of the "autheur" theory, Leslye isn't.

However, guess what, in like half the talks George gave post-selling Star Wars? He's giving shoutouts to everyone who helped make the first film, even remembering their names.

So I'm not even sure he'd vehemently disagree with Leslye, in fact they'd prolly have a conversation about it and immediately bitch about how stupid studio executives are :D

But that's not as incendiary, is it? Again, the more I do the research, the more it feels like the reason most of these influencers are hating on her is purely sexist.

I mean, on IGN she's even acknowledging that she does plan on taking stock of fan reactions for Season 2.

It's not a guarantee that she'll incorporate the feedback, but at least that's more consideration than, say, JJ Abrams or Rian Johnson gave the fandom.

She's even bringing the moral ambiguity that the Gray Jedi-loving edge-lords love so much.

"No, she's a woke feminist! Anything she does is evil! Eww, girls!"

🙄

Needless to say... I'm gonna give it a shot.

I think it's gonna be a good show, I think it's gonna be a solid story.

I'm crossing my fingers that they won't as biased against the Jedi as it seems they'll be. Even if they are... if it's still an enjoyable experience, I'll gloss over it.

As @gffa states in this post:

Worst case? It's not a story from George. I can dismiss it from my headcanon without a moment's hesitation :D

[weebsinstash]

for the whole marriage thing, it would be kinda funny if you marry someone else out of spite, especially right after Miguel found out that you two were actually destined for each other.

You, out of breath and looking upset: Dude, this is gonna be a lot but, I need your help doing something to spite Miguel--

Hobie: don't even have to finish mate, you've already sold me on it

You: you and I need to get married because I wanna be my own person and rebel against Miguel because he wants US to get married but I don't want to because fuck him and fuck canon and I wanna choose my own destiny idk am I being dumb 🥺

Hobie, who Definitely Has Nothing To Gain Here Wink Wink: alright, that's what I'm talkin about, fuckin mental, let's do it 😌 fight the man ✊️

But no for real, you were actively avoiding relationships and suddenly Miguel hits you with "you and I are canon and I want to start getting to know each other better" and you're, I dunno, would "panic fucking" work. Would you be so bold. You're just trying to hook another person that YOU choose (and again Hobie would still apply here lmao) because, no, no, you can't let canon TRAP you like this!! And it would fucking suck if you had like, neutral or even negative feelings about Miguel. Shit, I've thought of, imagine being his FWB that he's actually catching feelings for but then the Miles Morales Incident happens and, you're just kind of disgusted how he acted, how he spoke to Miles, how he treated Gwen, but before you can officially tell him "hey, I want nothing to do with you anymore", that's when Miguel comes to you wanting to get more serious and he uh, does not accept you wanting to move on

I guess detouring into a different idea but imagine being kind of a FWB or fling of his that you kind of moved on from him from for whatever reason (he can have a temper, he can be too intense, you don't like when he did xyz, or maybe you're a free spirit and don't want to get serious and break things off when you feel he's too clingy) and he like. Cannot accept you've moved on. He's cockblocking you at the Spider Society bars n clubs and little holes in the wall where the adults go to drink and get together. By reputation alone, people know to avoid tou because Miguel wants you back, everyone still sees you as His Girl, like he's claimed you, but he still catches people dumb enough to get close to you (and I imagine his surveillance slips or he gets busy and you have a casual fuck under his radar and he sees hickeys or something on you later and goes ballistic)

But yeah gosh imagine like, he tells you up front you two are canon and not even 24 hours later you can notice the atmosphere has changed in the Spider Society with how people treat you in terms of respect, personal space, not being too touchy or overly familiar, but, most importantly, you just feel. Awkward. It's like everyone knows. Did they all know before you did, or did Miguel quickly spread the news around? You're not sure which of those is worse. He's wanting to get you know you more intimately, he wants to try and take you on dates, but, he sucks at it, he's been out of the game way too long and he's a stressed temperamental half-spider workaholic, so, his dates amount to, him just trying to spend time with you in different ways while trying to make awkward small talk. He takes you to dinner. He sees if there are any movies or entertainment you wanna see in the Spider Society, making awkward attempts to try and hold your hand

But also. Imagine. A version of Miguel that wants to move much faster than that. I mean, you two are going to be canon, so, you might as well get acclimated to him right away, right? He wants you to immediately spend more time with him, he starts controlling where you are and what you do so he can be spending time with you or connected to you in some way, you're living with him in his own residence now, he INSISTS you sleep in the same bed like a married couple, and while he may not immediately demand you do what married couples do, he makes it clear that he wants to eventually. God, you can barely even relax knowing he's in bed with you and he still forcibly cuddles you, getting used to feeling his body against your own (and what if he slept in the nude 😳 he provides you pj's but they're kind of small and thin and he keeps the room cold on purpose so you have to seek his warmth under the covers)

Miguel is like an established adult in his 30s or something all "we'll get to know each other and then we can start planning our wedding. We'll have dinner dates at least once a week and we'll have joint bank accounts--" meanwhile you're just sitting over here like " um 🥺 I um 🥺 have never really even dated anyone before 🥺" and suddenly this 6 ft 9 man is looking down at you realizing there's a lil bit of an age gap and definitely an experience gap and he gets to have all of your "firsts" and he's Just So Weird About It in like, kinda a fetish way. He gets to have your first kiss, your first time (maybe he even wants to wait until marriage), he gets to teach you things, like, lowkey it's kinda like a mentorship as well as a relationship, he's your teacher, your protector, your husband, your jailor

Like imagine you finally have your first baby and you're freaking out and you're so scared and worried about doing everything absolutely perfect and he's just like, so happy but also kind of romanticizing/fetishizing you being a new/first-time mom, he thinks you're so cute, so eager to do good and learn how to do the best for your baby. He teaches you all kinds of things about childcare and being pregnant since, he's already cared for his fiance before his canon event, he remembers all the things he learned to become a dad, all the things he picked up during the second go around, and now everything new he's learned just for you. I mean really if we follow the combo comic/movie canon, you're the first time he's getting a BABY baby and getting to raise it and do everything from the start, and it's his CANON baby so he knows you're both safe.

I just feel like between his literal list of trauma (beaten by abusive father who also abused his mom, he was betrayed and drugged with a highly addictive and agonizing substance to basically be enslaved, he was sabotaged and atomically spliced with a spider while trying to cure said addiction, his pregnant fiance died, his second family died as well as an entire universe) and him not really even having much of an OPTION with breaking canon at risk (which would have such a domino effect because it happening in his Nueva York would dismantle THE ENTIRE SPIDER SOCIETY, so, this is like, QUARDUPLE RISK) he would just. Like damn you don't even need to have yandere stuff in there, he HAS to make you stay with him? Obviously he eventually has no problem with it and fully enjoys the excuse if he wasn't crazy about you on sight, but like. LMAO you're just hanging around HQ with big sad eyes and people are whispering "who's that over there that Miguel is hovering over" "oh that's Miguel's wife. she's scared of him and he's way too intense" "well why doesnt she just leave him" "can't, they're canon, and even if they werent, i dont think he'd allow it. Shit just the other day she wanted to leave HQ to swing through the city and she didn't get his permission first and Miguel activated the Morales Protocol and sent us all chasing after her" "like ALL all?" "Oh yeah it was totally an 'all available units' situation, and once she saw she was being chased she started freaking out and panicking and tried to run, which pissed him off even more, and is why she's got a babysitter now" "oh wow, that's rough... so anyways do you know what they're serving in the cafeteria today?"

[ashleyfilm]

Seeing Clearly - Chapter 3. Joel's House

Please leave comments, I'd love to know your thoughts. And if you feel inclined to reblog, that would be so nice.

Chapter Warnings: cursing, talk of body image, negative comments about body image (not by reader or joel), talk of SA and violence (past), There Will Be Smut, (eventually) Minors - DNI

Characters: Jackson!Joel Miller x F!Reader Plus Size. F!OC was recommended to me since there's a lot of description of her but I'm writing her as You (Reader) so hopefully you can still imagine yourself. Black hair, glasses, tattoos, big body, wears dark clothes, won't stop talking. Joel is tv show Jackson Joel.

Story Summary: Joel just saved your life, begrudgingly. He doesn't know exactly why but he brings you back to Jackson and you ingratiate yourself into his very small circle and his life. This takes place after season 1 of TLOU and season 2 doesn't exist in my brain because no.

Chapter Summary: You enter Joel's house for the first time and get to know him a little bit.

Thank you to @saradika-graphics for the book line divider. :)

Chapter 1 Here Chapter 2 Here

Chapter 3. Joel's House

You finally catch up to Joel as the two of you approach a surprisingly lovely two-story house. Is that a front porch swing? As you get to the door, Joel stops so abruptly you knock into his back. Oh, his back, it’s so big, and he’s taller than you and you smell the pine, musk and vanilla, maybe. And it’s intoxicating. He smells so good. Your eyes flutter closed and breathe him in. You’re startled back to earth by his low, stern drawl, “Look, this is my house and you’re a guest, so no wanderin’ around, no snoopin’, don’t take things that aren’t yours and stay outta my way.” Something about Joel giving you orders makes you feel a slight pull beneath your belly button. Something to unpack later, there. “Aye, aye!” You respond and he does one of his signature sighs, side-eyeing you and finally opens the door.

It's so cozy in here, it’s a home. A real home. There’s a set of stairs just to the right when you walk in the door, and the living room is to the left, a couch that looks more comfortable than anything you’ve slept on in decades. There’s a fireplace and on top a beautiful drawing of a black horse with a mane like your own hair, silky black with streaks of gray. Can Joel draw? No way, maybe Ellie did it. Then you see the little carvings. A moose made of dark mahogany wood; a wolf made of a lighter almost ivory shade. Okay, that’s got Joel written all over it. You don’t know how it’s possible you missed it when you walked in, maybe because it’s so foreign to you now but there’s a TV in the corner of the room on a tv stand. You gasp, holding a hand to your chest, “Does that work?”

When you turn to look at Joel, you realize he’s been watching you intently, observing as you take everything in. And there’s something in his gaze that makes your skin flush, like he’s proud to show this home to you. He shakes his head almost to clear his mind and come back to reality. “Yeah, we have some movies on tape we can watch from the library.” And that’s what does it. You start crying, fat wet tears down your cheeks. You can’t help it. You don’t sob, it’s just water, silently leaking down your face. “Darlin’ hey, you’re okay.” Joel comes to put a hand on your shoulder, and you don’t even realize the pet name he’s just called you, much to his relief. Voice shaky, “I’m sorry, Joel, I don’t know what’s come over me. I just never thought I would see a movie ever again in my life. I know it might seem trivial or whatever, but I went to school for filmmaking and wanted to be a director all my life and before everything, before, this was my life.” You look in his eyes now and again you’re shocked by the fucking depth of emotion they carry. He doesn’t want to show you, but his eyes do it anyway.

“Ain’t nothing trivial about it, Ash. I guess I should tell you the town has weekly movie nights, there’s popcorn and a big screen and everything.” You gasp, the tears have finally stopped, and you wipe them away, and you smack Joel on the arm, “Shut up, Joel, oh my god!” He can’t stop the chuckle that leaves his mouth, “I promise, on my life. This week its Jurassic Park, I just found that one on patrol last week.” “I LOVE JURASSIC PARK.” You’re yelling now. “Alright, alright, we’ll go, its Friday evenin’ – um, 3 days from now, it’s Tuesday, today.” Joel says, smiling just a little. You look at him now, and he looks softer, you think you see the brother of Tommy, the dad to Ellie, and maybe he could be a friend to you. “You’ll go with me?” You ask meekly. Joel shakes his head, smirking a little, “Yeah, yeah, don’t make a big deal of it. Now, its late and you’re sure as shit exhausted so head upstairs, your room’s the door on the left. Mine’s on the right, MINE, meanin’ its off limits to you. Maria left you some clothes and things in the room you might need, the showers got towels and everything ya need in there. Get a shower and get some sleep.” You nod, smiling at how he’s taking care of you without even realizing it. He’s such a dad. You walk to the stairs and kick your worn old boots off and leave them by the door. As you make your way up the stairs, you stop and look at Joel, “Thank you.” “It’s nothing,” he replies, not looking at you. “No, Joel,” you wait till he finally meets your gaze, “you saved my life, and you brought me to heaven on earth as far as I’m concerned...thank you.” His lip ticks up in a grin and you see it, the dimple in his cheek and it takes your breath away. Well, you’re officially fucked. “Get some sleep, Ash.” Your cheeks flush and you continue up the stairs. You’ll do anything to see that dimple again and as many times as possible after.

Warning: talk of body image, negative comments about body image (not by reader or joel), talk of SA and violence (past).

You wake up early the next morning, the sun shining in through the window of your small, incredible, beautiful bedroom. YOUR BEDROOM with a bed and a door and a lock and a window that’s not broken. You slept so well, clean with a full stomach, in the most comfortable bed with sheets and pillows, multiple pillows. Hugging your curves and alleviating your back. You could just lay here for days, but you’re restless and you’re wondering what you did in a past life to end up here like this. You don’t think you deserve it. You sit up and stretch, the sleep shirt you’re wearing revealing your plush tummy, you grab for your trusty glasses on the nightstand and your shorts that ride up on your thick thighs and round ass. Even in the apocalypse with little food and a lot of walking, you’ve held onto your weight for the most part. Thicker than most others. Some strange phenomena. People you’ve run into during your journey over the last 20 years have questioned it. Accused you of stealing food, being lazy around the Nashville QZ. Men in the QZ ogling you, their wives or girlfriends blaming you, calling you a slut. Busting your lip open with their fists after catching you in an alley alone. Raiders telling you they haven’t seen a woman like you in years, calling you a fat bitch while assaulting you. But you never turned that in on yourself, you were happy with your body, she kept you alive. She survived everything. Your mind on the other hand…well that’s a different story.

You decide that there is something you can do to try and balance the scales. It’s not much but everyone loves breakfast, right? So, you pad down to the kitchen and start cooking, eggs and bacon. They have bacon here. Are you dead? Is this even real? You even see a loaf of sourdough bread, okay you’re making toast, obviously. You get to work and soon you notice Ellie and Joel come in from different sides of the kitchen. Oh Joel. He’s in flannel pajama pants that ride low on his hips and a thin t-shirt that strains to keep from tearing on his beautiful biceps. You thought maybe you made it up, maybe you were sleep deprived and starving and your eyes tricked you. No, nope, he really is incredible. “MMMMMM, hell yes, breakfast!” Ellie exclaims as she goes to pour herself some juice from the fridge. Joel grunts, “Who said you could go through the fridge and start cookin’.” You look at him with guilt in your eyes about to apologize when Ellie saves you, “Oh, stuff it, old man, she made you breakfast, say thank you, mind your manners. Isn’t that always what you tell me?” She winks at you, and you bite back the smile on your face. “Uh, thank you.” Joel coughs out. “Okay, sit down you two, I just have to plate the eggs and we’ll be – FUCK!” You scream as you grab the piping hot handle of the pan the eggs are sizzling in. Clanging it back on the stovetop.

In a flash, Joel is at your side, holding your left wrist and looking at the long red burn mark on your palm. He walks you over to the sink and turns on the tap of cold water, placing your burning palm underneath the stream. “It’s okay,” he coos, as you audibly wince, “You gotta keep it under here for a good long while to help keep it from scarrin’ too bad.” You’re not looking at your hand anymore, you’re looking at Joel. “How do you know that?” you ask timidly. He doesn’t take his eyes or his hand off your injured one, “Parents pick that kind of stuff up.” And you know he’s not referring to Ellie, but you don’t press. Speaking of Ellie, she’s got a huge, stupid grin on her face watching this interaction while scarfing down bacon. Still quiet you say only to Joel, “I haven’t cooked in two decades, I forgot the handle heats up.” He finally finds your eyes not expecting you to be looking right into his, he startles like a wild animal and drops your wrist. You instantly become colder without his touch.

He speaks, gruff and a bit louder now, “Well, watch it next time and go sit down, I’ll get the eggs.” You sit down at the table next to Ellie in what will soon become your designated seat, and Joel comes to sit beside you after dolling out the eggs. Ellie makes to grab your wrist, slowly, making sure you’re okay with it, “Can I see?” You nod and hold out your burned palm, “EWWW, its gonna scab, and then its gonna peel, can I see it when it starts to peel?” Joel about to take a bite of the eggs, “Ellie, can you not, tryin’ ta eat here. Ugh.” Ellie starts to giggle and so do you. Then you hear Joel moan, and you look over to see his eyes closed and notice he’s savoring the eggs you cooked him. You try to contain your squeak of excitement but fail and his eyes flick open to you like he’s been caught. “Okay, okay, I’ll give it to you, you make way better eggs than me, and no shells, good job.” Ellie watches you as you smile into your glass of water and Joel as he smirks just a little showing his dimple and she starts placing bets in her head on which one of you is going to fold first.

[3hks]

MY Hot Takes on Writing

I like to think that when it comes to writing, there's a lot of general opinions floating around, and occasionally they don't agree with each other. So, just for fun, here are my "unpopular opinions" when it comes to this topic!

1. Romance Cliches Aren't Bad

We get told to avoid popular cliches, but honestly, I don't see any harm in romance ones. Let's be honest here romance enjoyers, we LOVE those unrealistic yet heartwarming, classic, cliched situations more often than not. And this is not to say that there are zero negative cliches or that not using them is bad, it's simply the fact that they can still be appreciated despite their frequent use!

2. Predictable Characters Can Be Good

A character being predictable is a common criticism, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you failed at your job. When you establish a character well, the audience will naturally start to understand them much better. Because of that, they have a better idea of your character's actions, emotions, and thought process, allowing them to accurately guess what they might do next.

So yeah, maybe someone states that your character is too predictable but that could mean that you did your job right!

3. Bigger words ≠ Better

Some people love showing off their huge vocabulary and others are significantly less confident about it. Regardless of which side you're on, I simply want to bring attention to the fact that using bigger words (like seriously complex ones) doesn't mean your writing is better. Maybe it matters in academic essay and whatnot, but that's not entirely true for creative writing.

The thing is, if you use many words that you KNOW may trip up most of your readers, then there isn't much point in using them. After enough confusion, they're bound to quit quickly. Don't get me wrong, I love fancy words, but they don't define the quality of your writing!

4. Grammar isn't a Dealbreaker

Are you self-conscious of your grammar? Well, the thing is, besides the basics (capitalization, spelling, ending punctuation, etc.), grammar is not as important as you may think it is! Missing or extra commas are hardly a dealbreaker when it comes to a good book--I've read books with not-so-good grammar but a solid storyline. And guess what? I read until the end!

If your grammar is not perfect, that's definitely not the end of the world.

5. Not All Villains Have To Be Justified

In some movies and shows, you see that when they explain what the villain is trying to accomplish, it's not exactly a bad motive and they're just approaching it from a different, "wrong" way. Does this gain more respect for the antagonist from the audience? Yes.

However, I think that even if they aren't justified, it doesn't take away the effectiveness of the villain. Of course, they need a reason, but it doesn't have to be a good one. Why? Because a sinister purpose fully demonstrates that your character is actually evil. No, they might not get as much respect, but they can genuinely intimidate.

Alright--that's it! Now I'd love to know if you have any "unpopular opinions" about writing, so feel free to share!

Happy writing~

3hks ^^

[tinybirbwrites]

Guilty Pleasure (Dick Grayson/Reader)

Hello, hi. This started as a vent fic, then it became super silly and fun and longer than expected. No warnings except for some swearing, just silly fluff and crack. Reader is gender-neutral. Also I had Gotham Knights Dick in mind while writing, the game really grew on me lmao.

You often wondered whether Dick had a sixth sense for your mood. Each time you were upset about something, he would either somehow end up finding out about it, or unknowingly comfort you in some way. 

Watched a sad movie while Dick was away? Look at your phone; Dick either just sent you a meme, pun, or a sweet little message to brighten your day. Unhappy about what you saw in the mirror? Just you wait; Dick always seemed to have a heartfelt compliment ready for you. Lonely? Worry not; Dick already made plans to come over and glue himself to you for several hours.

This time was no different. Just twenty minutes after you saw something hurtful on social media, Dick plopped down next to you on the couch and wrapped a casual arm around your shoulders. 

“Hey, wanna watch a dumb movie together and cuddle?”

Hell yeah.

-

The movie did turn out to be super dumb—a crazy woman summoning the spirit of her dead killer husband into a fake christmas tree, who then goes on a murderous rampage as a christmas tree? Really? But it was exactly what you needed at that moment. 

You were crying and laughing through the stupidity of it all, switching between actually paying attention because of what was happening or because Dick was actively commenting on it, and thinking back to the post you saw that upset you in the first place. Dick didn’t ask, but he kept giving you comforting squeezes and rubbed slow circles over your back the whole time. 

As the credits started rolling and you finally got over how weird the movie was, Dick stroked a careful thumb over the tear-trails on your cheek. “Alright, well, now that we’ve gone through all five stages of grief together… You wanna tell me about it?” 

You leaned back with a shaky exhale. “Well, you know how I like to read and write fanfiction?” At his nod, you continued, “Well, there’s a subgenre called ‘reader inserts.’ They’re… basically exactly what the title implies. They’re written with you as the main character, and most of the time it’s with a romantic plot point at the focus. It’s something I like to consume for comfort, because it feels nice to read about yourself meeting your favorite characters and interacting with them, doing things together that you’ll never be able to in real life, right? And there’s a lot of well written fics out there that I enjoy a lot, but of course, as with everything, there’s also not so good ones. And the tragic part is, the not so good ones are the only thing that other people who aren’t interested in this subgenre see and know about, so reader inserts get a pretty bad rep. And I get it, I’ve also seen the bad ones, and there’s… a lot of porn, too. I understand it can be frustrating to see when you really don’t want to, but shaming people for writing and reading it just… hurts, you know? It really hurts.”

Dick was silent for a while, frowning. “Sadly, there’ll always be people who get upset about things they don’t like or don’t understand. Some are mature about it, and some aren’t. I’m guessing you saw someone complaining?”

You sighed and nodded, tiredly rubbing a hand over your forehead. “Yeah.” You didn’t feel like elaborating on what the person said specifically, it would only upset you more. Maybe you’d sent a screenshot to Dick later, but right now you just wanted to forget about it.

Dick hummed. “I’m sorry you had to see that. It really sucks when you’ve gotta deal with people hating something you love and care about. And I know it’s easier said than done, but… don’t focus on that negativity. Focus on the good stuff. You’ve talked about getting a lot of positive feedback on your own writing before, yeah? Focus on that. People love what you write, and you love other people’s writing, that means there’s a community where you can all share what you love with each other, and that’s a beautiful thing. Some people just aren’t into the same stuff, they don’t get it, so sometimes they’ll complain about it to feel better. It’s hurtful, yeah, but remember that they’re not targeting you specifically. It’s their problem, the issues often lie within themselves. From what you said, it sounds like they’re just shitting on something they don’t wanna see because they don’t like or care about it. They’re not offering constructive criticism, so really, you don’t have to concern yourself with them. Try to distance yourself from their words, be proud of what you do and who you are. Okay?”

You mulled over his words for a moment, digesting them bit by bit, and eventually, you managed a smile. “Yeah, okay.” You turned your head and leaned closer to him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thanks.”

When you looked at him, the expression on his face was almost shy. “You’re always welcome. I’m just glad I could help somehow.”

-

Days later, Dick came to you with an excited smile on his face, and you watched as he sat down and pulled out his phone. “So, since you told me about reader inserts, I’ve done some research to better understand what you meant. I wanted to know more about what you enjoy.”

Oh no. “Oh. Really?” you said, a lot calmer than you actually felt.

He grinned, unaware of your growing horror. “Yep! So, I wasn’t sure what to look for at first, but eventually I searched for reader inserts that included some of the media I personally enjoy. I found a few I actually liked a lot! But, uh, I get what you meant with there being a lot of porn.”

You hid your face in your hands with a chortle, feeling heat quickly traveling to your cheeks at the mental image of Dick reading smut fics out of pure curiosity to learn more about what you were passionate about. “Yeah…”

Suddenly, Dick brightened. “Also! You won’t believe it, but I found a lot of Nightwing reader inserts! Some got recommended to me because of my search history, and I got really curious, so—”

OH NO.

“I was so amazed at how many there are! Ah, of course, lots of porn too. Can’t really fault anyone for that, I mean, I know people love my butt, so it only makes sense. Still, feels kinda weird. I started reading a few because I just couldn’t help it, and isn’t it kind of funny? It’s like a story about me making out with myself! Anyway, I found a few really good ones, a lot of them were from the same author—”

Oh God, please, anything but this—

Dick scrolled through his phone for a moment, then turned it around to show you what he found. You felt your soul leave your body.

It was your very own profile picture that stared back at you. 

It was your blog. 

It was your writing. 

Your Nightwing fanfics. 

He went on, completely undeterred by your stunned silence. “I know it sounds kind of narcissistic of me to say, but you should totally give this person’s stuff a read! They’re really good! I felt weirdly immersed, reading about being in love with, well, myself. Pining after… myself. Never thought I’d feel so strongly about that, but here I am. There’s one story that I’m hoping will get a second part some day, actually. I’m thinking I should maybe leave a comment. You think it’d be too much to do that with my Nightwing account?” 

Oh. Oh, thank God. Dick didn’t know it was you.

You subtly cleared your throat. “Uhm. Yeah, I think commenting as Nightwing would be a bit much.”

It was an older account—you actually hadn’t uploaded anything for a while now, but most of them were about Nightwing.

It had started off with the usual go-to scenarios of Nightwing saving reader while on patrol, something he’d actually done for you a few times now, which was what inspired you to scroll through the Nightwing x Reader tag in the first place. Then you decided you would give in and post some of your own for the public to see as well. Anonymously, of course. You’d never pin your actual name to that particular guilty pleasure of yours. 

The more you wrote, the more you started to wonder about what if scenarios. 

What if Dick Grayson was Nightwing? You’d noticed that they shared a lot of similarities; a love for puns, a charming smile, a kind heart, perfect hair, and, uhm… A nice body, too. You’d never written out this theory for the public eye, but in your head, you’d started imagining Dick being the one behind the mask, which fuelled your writing even more as you poured your feelings into them. 

You knew it was kind of a No-No to write about actual, existing people. It wasn’t something you usually did, either, nor were you very proud of it. But you just couldn’t help it—you’d been pining after Dick and Nightwing separately for years now, venting about it in the form of self-indulgent writing, until you eventually figured out they were both one and the same person. 

Of course you’d fallen head over heels in love with Dick, it was practically impossible not to; He had a stupidly big heart and a stupidly big butt. Finding out these two ridiculously attractive and caring people were actually one guy? That only served to intensify your feelings by, like, a hundred.

You hadn’t mentioned this realization to Dick, but it got more and more difficult not to as time went on. Until finally, one day, Dick confessed his vigilante identity to you, stating he trusted you and felt it was only fair if you knew. He felt bad about having to lie to you and keep making up excuses about his bruises and why he had to cancel plans every time something big happened that Nightwing had to take care of.

You were too scared to tell him about your feelings, especially after realizing you’d been writing reader insert fanfics about him all this time. It was one thing to just imagine Dick being Nightwing, but it was another to actually know it was him. You were lucky and very happy to even be friends with this amazing guy, and you weren’t about to ruin that by confessing your shameful sins to him.

You knew it was extra weird to write not only about an actual person, but about your friend. You’d never written any smut—that was something you just couldn’t let yourself do, it felt too wrong, even before you found out about Dick’s secret. 

You knew he took all the sexually charged comments on his Nightwing persona in good stride. He actually seemed to glow from all the praise, even feeding into it by laying on the charm extra thick sometimes when on patrol, always insisting Nightwing should never wear a cape so his precious butt wouldn’t be covered up. You also knew that he himself as Richard Grayson was a very popular guy, handsome and charming, a “well dressed golden retriever,” as some people liked to describe him. 

But you also knew that there was a line, and you felt like you were definitely crossing it by writing reader inserts about your best friend and crush. Though you did stop writing them after finding out about who Nightwing really was—it just felt too weird to keep posting more at that point.

Argh, who were you kidding? Either way, it was definitely still weird that you hadn’t immediately deleted your whole blog afterwards. It didn’t matter that Dick was currently unknowingly blowing up your phone with excited comments and likes on several of your Nightwing x Reader fics. You pulled it out and glanced at your screen as it lit up. Ah, he was also sending you all the links so you could read them for yourself. 

Is this how Dick felt when people talked about Nightwing in front of him, not knowing it was him they were talking about? You certainly felt like you had a top secret persona now. 

Despite your conflicted feelings on the matter and the rising shame in your chest, you couldn’t help but smile at Dick’s genuine enthusiasm. And his comments were all very nice, too. 

Maybe… Maybe he would be okay with it, knowing it was you. Maybe he’d laugh about it. Maybe he’d even be flattered. You knew it would be impossible to keep this to yourself forever, especially since Dick was so easy to open up to. But not now. Definitely not now.

-

A few months later, Tim mentioned your username during a group conversation. In his defense, he probably thought it was common knowledge—you knew he wouldn’t reveal something as big as this on purpose if he thought it wasn’t a big deal. You were using the same username for several other accounts on other websites as well, all connected to your second email address, the one you hadn’t shared with Dick or the others, so you hadn’t actually expected them to ever look into it and find out.

How very foolish of you. You just hoped Tim hadn’t read any of your fanfics as well.

While you’d tried to appear calm and unaffected on the outside, you could feel yourself slowly dying on the inside, melting from the sheer amount of mortification you were experiencing.

You couldn’t look Dick in the eyes ever since. 

While he hadn’t mentioned anything directly, you could tell the clogs inside his head had already turned enough for him to connect the dots. He knew. Fucking shit, he knew. 

Several days went by. You kept casually sending messages to him, sharing memes and other every-day things like always, and he did the same. But you could tell he knew and wanted to say something, but didn’t because he could tell you were highly uncomfortable with him knowing. 

He was nice like that. Goddammit. 

And then, one evening, as you contemplated finally deleting your whole account and sending an official apology to Dick (you would definitely have to do that, you just didn’t know what to say and where to start), your phone lit up with a new message. 

From Dick. 

You stared at the notification for a long moment, dreading what you’d find once you opened it, until your eyes started to burn and you had to force yourself to take a few deep breaths and calm down.

Don’t jump to any conclusions now, you told yourself. Just open the damn message and see for yourself.

You procrastinated by going to the bathroom first. Then walked around the kitchen in search of something to eat, only to realize you were too anxious to actually eat anything. 

So you took your damn phone and clicked on the damn notification, holding your damn breath as you read Dick’s messages. 

(Dick) 21:32 : Hey, so, I had some ideas for a sequel regarding your last Nightwing story

(Dick) 21:33 : Hear me out

(Dick) 21:35 : What if Nightwing went over to reader’s place

(Dick) 21:35 : and then…

You waited for him to elaborate, maybe send a GIF or something else, but he wasn’t even online anymore. You frowned and started to type a hesitant, confused response, when there was a sudden knock on your living room window, making you flinch and shriek, almost dropping your phone in the process.

Looking up, you saw Dick in his Nightwing suit outside your window, grinning and waving at you. 

You blinked at him for a moment, then quickly walked over to open the window. “Wha—”

“You haven’t posted in a long time,” Dick interrupted you with a smile. “I thought maybe I could help inspire you.” 

“Ins— Inspire?” you repeated, stunned.

You stepped back a little when he started climbing through the window, taking in his appearance with a sense of awe. You’d seen him as Nightwing a few times now, but you never quite got used to it. He was a sight to behold—he always was, whether he was wearing the suit or just his regular clothes, but having Nightwing standing in front of you in your own home always felt a little unreal. It was so form fitting, showing off his muscles and curves, and the mask hiding parts of his face had its very own appeal that you could hardly put into words. 

“I noticed a theme while going through your stories.” Dick’s voice pulled you out of your stupor, and you quickly shut your mouth, only now realizing you’d been gaping at him the whole time. 

You cleared your throat. “A theme?”

“Yeah.” He stepped closer to you, slowly, as if he wanted to check whether you would move away or not. “Nightwing and reader never actually kiss in any of them.”

You thought your heart was going to burst out of your chest. Then you realized he was waiting for you to say something.

“Oh, uhm. Yeah. I, uh. I just felt kind of weird about that. At first I was just scared you’d maybe find out about my stories some day and be weirded out by them, but later on after you told me about being Nightwing, I also just— It felt wrong to write about kissing you because it felt… too personal? And then I just kinda stopped writing them entirely.”

“Mh-hmm,” he hummed understandingly, stepping even closer, close enough for you to smell his cologne and minty breath. “Not to force my own interpretations onto your writing or anything, but I think Nightwing would definitely be very much into kissing the reader. And seeing how strongly the reader feels about him, I’m guessing it’s something they would want, too?”

You gulped, then managed to croak out a weak, “Yeah.”

He smiled and leaned closer until the tip of his nose shortly brushed yours, pausing for a moment to give you the chance to pull away, then gently pressed his lips to yours. Your breathing hitched, an electrifying sensation running through your whole body, starting from the points where he was touching you. His hands were on your arms, slowly rubbing up and down while he moved his lips against yours just as slowly. Your muscles couldn’t decide whether to stay tense or relax and melt against him, so you did a weird combination of both. 

Unsurprisingly, Dick was a very good kisser. 

After a long moment, he eventually parted from you, leaning back a little to take in your reaction. You couldn’t help but let out a breathless little laugh, stunned by what just happened, and so very fucking happy.

Dick chuckled too, hands gently squeezing your upper arms as if he wanted to hug you. “Was that okay?”

“Absolutely,” you said, without hesitation. “I’m sure all the fics probably gave it away, but I have feelings for you. Strong ones.”

“Well, I didn’t want to make assumptions based on fiction alone,” Dick smiled. “But I’m glad, because I feel the same way. About you, I mean.”

Your chest warmed at that. Then you chuckled, an idea hitting you. “What, you don’t want me to write Dick Grayson x Nightwing fanfics next?”

He opened his mouth to retort with something sarcastic, but then his eyes widened. “Oh my God, that’s actually a really genius idea—”

You chortled and knocked your hand against his strong chest. “No, it really wouldn’t be. What if people connected the dots and found out because of it?”

He pouted. “Alright, fair point. But maybe you could write them just for me?” Aaand he was using his puppy eyes on you. Go figure. 

“I’ll think about it,” you gave in. Only a few people were strong enough to withstand Dick Grayson’s charm, and you certainly weren’t one of them. “But, I gotta ask… Weren’t you super weirded out when you found out that I wrote all these stories? Didn’t it make you uncomfortable?” 

If you ever found out that a friend of yours was writing romantic reader insert fanfics about you and publishing them… Well, you didn’t know what it would feel like, but it was definitely weird.

Dick chuckled and shook his head. “If it were someone else I knew, then maybe. But I know you—you’re one of my best friends. Knowing you wrote them, it just… doesn’t bother me at all, no. I understand why you wrote them, I understand why you published them, too. And why you stopped.” He shrugged. You felt a weight fall from your shoulders at his words, finally feeling yourself relax against him. “Anyway, did I manage to inspire you? You gonna write a kiss for part two?”

You snorted, then hummed, pretending to think for a moment. “I don’t know, I think I’ll need a bit more to really get the creativity flowing.”

Dick’s smile turned knowing. “I’d be more than happy to help.” And then he kissed you again, and it was even better than the first time.

[softshuji]

Hanma has thought about it many times and yet it still comes as a surprise when you do ask him.

He can tell there's something on your mind, a question, a thought that you're mulling over, and it makes sense that all his statements ar met with a disinterested "mhm" when he slides his arms around you at the end of the day. But honestly, this many years later, he's still a little baffled by you, the things you say, clever things and not, thoughts and musings that he finds he still likes to hear even now. He likes hearing you talk and it had surprised him at first, how much he wanted to hear your voice, even when you had such little to say.

But he finds that sometimes, days like today, he's doing most of the talking and it's clear you're tired, worn out, stressed perhaps, in a way he knows you're usually pretty good at dealing with. He likes it, how much he can look after you even though you'll never ask- because you don't want him to feel like it's owed, like it's transactional. But yes, to some extent, it does bother him when he walks in and finds you quiet, a discarded coffee cup on the table that's evidence of the only thing you've had all day.

He doesn't believe he's any good at fixing it, but you know better. It's not an overstatement to say he's better than good at fixing your moods, that a single statement, quip made playfully, has whatever negativity you might be feeling slipping through your skin.

It's dangerous and you hate it.

'What are you thinkin' Sweetheart?' he says this time, the Tv remote slipping off the bed and hitting the floor with a thud, left on the carpet while some shitty romcom plays as background noise.

'Mhm? Oh, nothing really.' You wave a hand and tighten your arms around him, your cheek pressed flat to the apex of his chest, absently watching the movie as the drone of the tv zips by your ears.

'Go on, tell me Pretty Girl.' And he bends to kiss your hair, his hand squeezing at your hip where your tshirt has ridden up.

'Fine but don't make fun of me okay?'

'I won't. Cross my heart and hope to d-'

'Don't finish that sentence.'

He laughs, and it's with mirth as he plants another kiss on your cheek, a gentle and firm tug that has you pressed closer still, his breath now fanning over your nose. 'Go on Sweetheart.'

You chew your lip and pick up his hand, turning it over in yours this way and that. You've never not marvelled at how they feel in yours, callouses and rough patches of skin that you've traced with your own painted nails, the black ink of sin that you lift to your mouth to kiss reverently, before smoothing over his knuckles with your lips.

'Do you ever think about...well- like- running away?' You say, your hand holding his your cheek, rubbing it against the rough pads of his fingers as his thumb brushes your lips.

He frowns and pauses. 'Running away? How do you mean Princess?'

'You know like- leaving gangs and all that. Just going somewhere a bit safer y'know, somewhere I don't have to worry so much.'

There's a beat as the thought churns in his mind, a palpable silence as he mulls over the idea, hopeless as it is. But he won't tell you that. He doesn't like the idea of letting you down, disappointing you, hurting you in any way, breaking the veil of your hard won happiness that he knows he shatters every morning when he leaves, you in the doorway waving him off as if it doesn't break you at the thought it could be the last time.

'Mhm, honestly Princess, where would we go? There's no leaving this kind of life- even if we wanted to. There's nowhere we wouldn't be found.'

'You really think so?' you say then, your cheek coming up to brush at his exposed collarbones, the tv's blue light casting a soft glow over the smooth planes of his chest.

'I do. Besides, we like this life right? We have a lot of money and fun.'

'Yeah, I guess you're right. I just think about it sometimes. Y'know, a long extended holiday in the Bahamas kinda thing.'

He raises an eyebrow here, a slow and calculated smirk tugging at his lips still pressed to your hair. 'Oh? That where you wanna go?'

You give him a pointed look, dropping his hand to your lap where you lace it with your own on top of the duvet. 'It would be nice- a mini getaway, nice weather and food and just the two of us.'

'Mhm, it would, but you know what would make it even better?' he says, the very unsubtle smirk now creeping onto his lips in full force, a firm tug that has you now straddling his lap, your hands braced on his chest.

'Hm?'

He airily waves his hand, punishment that then grabs your thigh to pull you against him. 'You and me and loads of sex-'

'Shuji?!' And you slap a hand on his mouth, smiling still despite it all, the inevitability of it, the concept of him walking out into the world again tomorrow morning, leaving you here with a kiss to your mouth- and another because you like it and him to an extent that you can't speak about - that still hurts and heals at the same time.

He laughs again and your heart is a dangerous drum against your ribs when he lifts your chin to peck at your lips, a kiss to each cheek, to your forehead that has tears pricking unwillingly at the unconventional softness and tenderness of him that never feels like anything but safety, like anything but warmth.

'Okay loads of sex then- but what do you think? It's not too farfetched is it?' you say, running a hand down his chest in the way he likes - in the way you know he likes.

'mhm, we'll think about it, how's that Sweetheart? A trip to the Bahamas for my pretty girl.' He grips you from the back then, thumbs pressing into the indent of you, hands that find purchase so easily between the grooves of your muscles as if you were made for him.

Maybe because you are, maybe because you were. And maybe for once you don't feel ashamed for asking. And maybe because of him, to need and be needed, is okay.

i love him so much im cry every day bye

reblogs appreciated

[thanks-obillma]

okay fuck it fic posting time bc I can

“You’re reading the Wikipedia page for the Bronx?”

Vito slammed the lid of his laptop shut. He twisted around to glare at her.

“What about it?” He demanded. Zoey held her hands up in a placating gesture.

“Nothing, nothing. Just curious.”

Vito’s face creased into the familiar “offense is the best defense” face that usually rested across Mal’s features. Zoey blinked in surprise. Her eyes darted across his face, trying to discern if they had switched or Vito simply resembled his headmate more than she had thought. She was almost about to ask, but then Vito let out a sharp exhale and turned away. His familiar accent filled her with relief. “Not all of us get to go home, Red.”

He moved the laptop to the side table and tossed the blanket over the back of the couch. Zoey frowned at the way his bare shoulders tensed protectively as he trudged into the kitchen. She trailed him uncertainly, wanting to soothe the crack she’d poked, but wary of making it worse.

Vito was busy pouring himself a glass of orange juice. She stepped to lean on the counter next to him.

“Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t have snooped.”

The corners of his mouth tightened but he said nothing.

“I just, I guess… I mean, I know that…” she paused to gather her thoughts. “I was just surprised is all. I forget you’re not actually from the Bronx.”

Vito was blinking a lot. It was a tic they all shared when they were thinking hard.

“I know,” he said finally. She waited for him to say more but he turned away to stand in the entrance of the kitchen. His fingers drummed against the glass in his hand. He sighed, shifted his weight. He sighed again.

“It’s complicated,” he said after a long minute. Zoey hopped onto the counter, fairly confident that he was invested in this conversation now and wouldn’t wander off.

“What did you mean when you said you don’t get to go home?” She asked.

Vito leaned against the counter, his gaze fixed on the floor. “Exactly what I meant,” he said.

“Okay, this may be dumb but can’t you like… just book a flight and go there?”

Vito swallowed hard. “Nah, it’s not the same. I ain’t… I ain’t ever actually been there, y’know? The place I come from… it’s not there. It never really was.”

Zoey frowned. She knew for a fact the place he physically came from was Ontario, but she thought that wasn’t quite what he was getting at.

“Do… how does that work?” She asked.

Vito chewed his cheek and took a sip from his glass. “I know you know it’s a bit more complicated than what I’m gonna say, but to simplify it… I was twelve when I showed up in here.” He finally leveled his gaze at her. “Mike was five.”

“So… you had… like a before?”

Vito nodded. “Yeah. I mean, in real life, I’m just another bit of… well, I guess that isn’t really the whole truth either.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Forget that. We ain’t talking psych here.”

Zoey hopped up to sit on the counter. “So what came before? For you.”

Vito shrugged. “Home. The Bronx.”

“Do you… remember it?” Zoey asked slowly.

Vito nodded, sucking his cheek in again. “Yeah. A lot. Had a whole home, a family…” He took a deep shuddering breath. “Miss them sometimes. How do you miss something that never existed? How do you even explain that feeling? God, I don’t even miss what it is now. I’d be 50 fucking years old if we were counting the real time.”

Zoey shifted, unsure what to say, but he continued, a little wound up now.

“And even then, if I could go back in time, it doesn’t exist. I couldn’t go to the streets I know and I couldn’t talk to the people I know and I wouldn’t fit in at all because I’m just a distorted what if from every book and movie and scrap of know-how that this freaking brain has collected over the years. I ain’t from the Bronx and it almost feels offensive to claim I am. I’m just a stereotype and a buncha tape. I’m a child playing pretend to get away.”

Zoey stared at him with wide eyes. She’d never heard Vito talk negatively about himself (to be fair, she had thought he was too egotistical to even consider it). She took a deep breath, started to try to say something and immediately stopped. What could she possibly say?

Vito was watching her, head down and dark eyes glistening just a little wetly in the late afternoon sun. She had to say something. She had to.

He chuckled, a cruel undertone to it. “Don’t worry ‘bout it, Red. ‘S just the facts of life.” He straightened up and went to walk away.

“Vito, wait.” To his credit, he froze immediately, head tilted just enough to hear her better.

She slid off the counter, careful to come around on his right side and stood in front of him. He wouldn’t meet her eyes. He was blinking a lot again, this time in a desperate attempt not to cry in front of her. It wasn’t really working.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice cracking into a whisper halfway through. He took a shuddering breath and pressed his lips tightly together.

She stepped a little closer, aching to hug him but knowing this was as close as she would get. “If… if you ever want to talk about them, I’d love to listen.”

His hand clenched into a trembling fist and all of a sudden he was hugging her so close she could hardly breathe.

“I’d… yeah, let’s do that sometime.” A sob finally escaped him and he pushed his face into the top of her shoulder as he started crying properly. Slowly, carefully, not wanting to startle him, Zoey brought her hands up and hugged him back. His sobs redoubled and he held her tighter. His fingers dug and twisted into the fabric of her sweatshirt and she wondered if he’d ever let himself cry like this, if anyone had ever been there to hold him up while he did.

They were going to need a lot of tissues when that talk came around.

[lordbhreanna]

The one thing I miss about Star Wars is the vibes of Reylo and Caltrilla.

Like those ships wrote themselves, had wonderful thematic contrasts, were full of potential for amazing storytelling within the SW universe and all its weird space magic shenanigans, and the creators did... nothing that was worth it with their own material. They took the blandest, most boring path or simply destroyed the female character (I am still mourning Rey Nobody, even though I could care less about canon at this point in my life.)

I was willing to give Jedi Survivor a chance if, somehow, they pulled the "resurrected Trilla" card, but from what I have checked, they didn't. The game may be good, can't say because I haven't checked anything, but without Trilla and her dynamic with Cal (and also seeing Trilla and Cere interact!!)... it just doesn't sound that interesting to me. Respawn came up with such a great character and decided to get rid of her in one game.

Regarding Reylo, I'm not even gonna mention Episode IX because, while I understand people can enjoy it for a bit of fun or find something good in it (and I am truly happy for those people), that movie made me feel like my intelligence was being insulted, so yeah. Mentally, I am still at TLJ era.

Of course this is my personal opinion and experience with SW, which doesn't reflect anyone else and there's no right/wrong approach to this. I don't like indulging too much in the negative, because a) there are people still enjoying SW and Episode IX and b) fandom is for fun, so if you're not having fun..., let go of that fandom. Which is what I did.

However, I miss it sometimes, but for a saga that holds redemption arcs at the center of its narrative/thematic core, they fuck up a lot of them. Only ones which ended where it should, from what I remember, are... Vader and Kallus? And Revan, more or less.

Guess the answer is the same as always: fuck canon, write fanfic. If I ever manage to be a slighty more prolific writer, just a teensy bit, I would love to redo that one Caltrilla fic I dropped after watching Episode IX because I just couldn't engage with anything SW-related after that clusterfuck of a movie. I orphaned it from AO3, but it's still up.

Anyway, this random SW post is sponsored by a beautiful Caltrilla gifset that showed on my dashboard and reignited my hashtag FEELINGS.

[interwebois]

Trying to be more open. |TW: RANT Denial Dissociation Trauma but not detail unless specified|

There’s a lot of times I go back and forth of being like yeah I probably have DID/OSDD and other times nah that’s not me.

I try to look at the facts. The facts, the ‘symptoms’ are real even if it turns out it’s not DID/OSDD there still real.

All the Parts that I know are not random, the names, ages, what they like, what they look like, if they have a source, their source. It’s all connects to different phases of what the body went through, positive and or negative. Being like oh that’s why you look like that or oh that’s why you name is that which happened again yesterday and was like what um what/no, hence the GIF.

I’m like either my brain is so ‘smart’ that I don’t even realize what the heck is going on or there’s something.

Before knowing about DID. I kinda did know about DID, but all I knew was really bad physical abuse/amnesia that can go like a week.

Before researching about it, these ‘symptoms’ existed. I just thought yeah this is just a weird thing that happens, and I always thought it was an acting thing. I love movies, shows, theatre, so that’s what I thought, because I always related to actors talking about going in and out of characters or how they get stuck in them and being like me too, so researching getting stuck in character but to no conclusion.

Those were from 2017 and in late 2022, was seeing everything that I experience on a daily basis on the screen and there’s a name attached to that experience (I do remember the thought process and one visual memory which tends to happen if there’s like a gray out I guess it’s called) . That made me want to research, I was like well I know with anything it’s not 100% accurate like example I love Hamilton the Musical but is it 100% accurate? No but I can enjoy it still, and one after the videos, articles was like that weird thing that I thought I was alone in well I guess these people experience it even if I don’t have DID I’m not alone, but was like ok I experience all these things except for amnesia and was searching is it possible to have DID without amnesia and after a month later found The CTAD Clinic videos which talked about DDNOS now called OSDD and learning that it is possible to not have amnesia between Parts and that there are different types of amnesia that exist not just black outs, and also in my family not having a good memory is normal so I’m always the person that remembers everything the most, (now knowing it was more the others that tell me with photos, videos etc)

I started noticing recently that there’s a mode where when I Alice really feel like me and identify with the body, it’s like all the knowledge of the System, how to do grounding exercises just goes out the window. A metaphor that one of the Headmates said was it’s like building a shelf and later I Alice now have to build it alone, like I remember everything that happened but it’s not happening, when I’m trying to build the self, what are these tools, how do I read the instructions manuals, it just what we like to call “it escapes me”.

And those thing happened more frequently when we were in school before knowing that we might have DID/OSDD.

At school not understanding why sometimes I understand something and don’t at the same time. For example because English is my second language (Now I know English more than Japanese but) at those times I couldn’t really write (reading was getting better and now it’s better) but writing does not happen (now I know it’s a trauma thing) my friend at the time will help me with how to write and those times I ‘turned into a child’ like I couldn’t think properly and was on a different mode, which this mode happened a lot in schools, especially when taking test. (I couldn’t control it and only really think in my head which other times I couldn’t) I had read out loud for my accommodation and during those times the anxiety was little to none. After taking the tests and my teacher being like Alice why did you chose C and I’m like I don’t know like I knew It was A and being like I should have listened to my gut, during the tests there’s times where I didn’t know the answer at all but in my gut I did and always later being like I should of trusted it. Another mode was this guy mode so I thought I was Trans and even changed my name and pronouns in one of the class (I picked a class that the guy mode did not like) so when these people called me He it just felt uncomfortable like I’m not a he?? But in other class room the thought of being a Female just disgusted me to the core, a lot of times this guy mode (which now I know who, even the child mode) when having a TW:💥 PTSD reaction (because a person was the trigger) before hand it used to be cry uncontrollably and being like I know this isn’t happening now but my body thinks it is to when this guy mode is out just straight up yelling and getting really stand offish, a lot of times I couldn’t control it and was confused and being like I can’t do that, and it’s dangerous, what if I yell at the wrong person. 💥

Amnesia

I thought I had none but was wrong about that.

My amnesia is like mention above if there is a extreme gray out I usually remember one video of it mostly with nothing attached to it and a sentence maybe, it’s like those big puzzles and I thought this right corner was all that it is and realizing later by Parts or Mom there’s more to the puzzle then what I thought.

The most extreme amnesia I have is (I went through constant trauma for me it was school I went to) in 1st grade let’s just say it was way worse then the others and it kinda broke the camels back (now I’m like why didn’t I tell anyone, (now I know why I thought it was normal to get mistreated by adults is because it was always happening) and I got pulled out of school because (which this is a total black) (TW: blood♥️) I was throwing up and pooping blood♥️, my mom was like ummmm this isn’t normal. My mom did go to the school and got mad at them but they didn’t really care (Context at these time we were living in Japan and most of these mistreatment happened because I’m half Japanese and half American and at the time my dad was in the navy, I was seen as tainted in some of the eyes of Japanese people) I always didn’t understand and was like I did not personally do War War II!! Like I didn’t do and I’m also half so I also have my Japanese side) so I went to the doctor and they admitted me to a hospital (in Japan staying longer in hospital is normal like if your getting a colonoscopy you usually stay there a few days type deal) so I stayed for about 2 months and they did all kinds of test (for me most of them is blank but from a year ago slowly coming back as flash backs sooo) I had ulcers in my stomach a bunch of them. And for me there were some positives like playing DS/3DS with friends there and making friends was pretty cool but a lot of times my mom said I was alone at night (which make sense why one Part has extreme separation anxiety with my mom, now she’s better though) after getting released? (Not sure if that’s the right word for me because a lot of medical related stuff was in Japan I only really use the Japanese word from it) but then my feet started to hurt (for me I knew this happened but it’s a total blank) My mom said I just couldn’t walk anymore and I was screaming all the time and couldn’t sleep because because of it. Now a second time of going to doctors to doctors this time not staying at a hospital but, then found this doctor which he was like you have Fibromyalgia which at this time I was 6 years old. They had to interview my mom because a lot of cases they see where a young child develops Fibromyalgia mostly through Epigenetic it gets activated because of stress, my mom and I had to be like no it wasn’t my mom (which this clicked with me later) so for a few years everyday had white bandages/包帯 all around me feet with 湿布 (have no idea what’s it called in English) for the pain and had to get a wheelchair because of it. My mom said this probably was the hardest thing I ever went through as a child but for me it’s like doesn’t even phase me because I don’t remember the pain etc sometimes now there are times which it does return temporarily.

For me I just ultimately don’t want to take away from people that do have DID/OSDD if I don’t have it.

Yes I have trauma in childhood especially that was constant and I dissociated since a child to a higher level. My parents are really good but they both don’t have any emotion skills so those were never talked about but you can have all of this and still not have DID/OSDD so I go in circles. And even if I want to get a evaluation here in Japan 🇯🇵 there’s like none, I did do a online one but it cost a lot of money and the person didn’t even know anything about DID he asks me do you ever wake up randomly someone and I said no and he was like you don’t have DID and I was like ummmmmmmmmm. And the stigma here is way yeah if I look up Dissociative identity disorder or Multiple Personality disorder in Japanese here the only thing that really comes up is the guy who has MPD that did a crime you know Billy (also there’s a tv show The Room which I have not watched yet so) so it’s even more like ummmmm, like I already have Autism, and in the LGBT community, and also Christian and in Japan all these are seen as different people and I also look like a foreigner so, (In Japan you can be 100% Japanese but if you live in the Western country they can tell from the way you dress, unless you like in Tokyo or something) now the racism is way better but it still scares me sometimes and recently with my therapist discovering that could be why I have agoraphobia and like I want to go outside but some folks on the inside are panicking because the childhood trauma that happened was in Japan and when moved here it’s still the similar area. 

[alittlefrenchtree]

Oh? Tell us more about Nick and Taylor's chemistry please. Curious Anon here! What do you mean by how interested you are in the nature of it and how it reflects on screen? Please elaborate 😊

Ok, so.

I don’t want my words to be misunderstood or lead to negativity so I might be extra cautious with things I’ll be saying.

Where to start? 

After my first watch, I remember saying *I think I like them better as BFF than as soulmates*. Six months down the line, things have obviously changed but I feel like there’s still a sense of that in few of my favorite scenes to watch, such as the New Year Eve party, the infamous turkey scene or the coffee in Paris scene. They’re flirty but we’re still closer to the start of the relationship than the end of the movie.

After my first watch, when I eventually stumbled into a few videos of them as Nick and Taylor and saw them as they are, I said oh. right. this is what I’ve seen shine so brightly through the movie.

So, that was me a few days in the fandom.

Obviously things are a little bit more nuanced now that I had time to watch and think more about everything. Because their chemistry also work in scenes where they are definitely not friends. Sex scenes were definitely not a problem since they feel right in all of them and there are also scenes through the second half of the movie where their chemistry is perfect for me. I love the.. pontoon? (No idea how it’s called) scene. Even if I wouldn’t put it in a list of my favorite, it’s probably one of the most beautiful scene of the movie. I love the piano scene as well.

But there is also a whole segment of the movie where they've kind of lost me in terms of chemistry. And writing this post is making me realize that most of the scenes I’m talking about are actually scenes that happen in a row: from the moment Alex storms into the (fucking) castle to Alex leaving all the way through the V&A scene. I guess I was waiting to feel things I haven't really felt. Not everything fall into Taylor and Nick’s responsibility obviously (I could pinpoint blocking and writing and editing), but these were moments the chemistry should have crossed the screen to wreak my heart and didn’t really. 

And I don’t know about their filming schedule exactly, but my guess is that maybe at this point they had fell (too much?) into that friendship/banter energy off screen, and it had leaked a bit on what they were doing on screen. Which did great for some scenes and a bit less for others. Because learning that the coffee scene was the first one they shot made a lot of sense with the rightness of their energy there. Alex and Henry have obviously known each other for a while, but, in many ways, the scene feels like a first date. And since this was the first scene for Taylor and Nick, they naturally were exactly where they needed to be. With the shyness and the tension, but that urge to know each other and just start whatever they were starting as characters and as actors.

So yeah. This isn’t me saying they haven’t any chemistry or haven’t enough of it. They obviously have, and it did help for the majority of the movie. But, for me, there were some moments, when the nature of their chemistry off screen might has made the process of hitting the right spot on screen more difficult. I don’t know.

And I do believe that seeing or not seeing chemistry in people is the most subjective thing you can think of. I’ve seen people melt over the chemistry shared by two people who looked (for me) like they never met in their entire lives and I’ve also seen the opposite so, you know. All opinions are valuable in this context and nothing is an absolute truth.

And if you’re wondering why I didn’t mention the night scene in Paris: I have another ask about it, so we’ll have plenty of time to discuss at length about it. Just probably not today 😅

And once again, thank you for the question 🙏💜

[kimtaegis]

just wanted to say thank u so much for being so open and for reading and answering the asks you receive, i know that sometimes things get heavy and there's also too much negativity sent to you, i guess people (including me) really feel comfortable to vent with you or just to talk abt things in general, but u r also a human being, and even though you don't invalidate anyone's feelings, it can be too much to handle 🫂

i feel better now and i'll just focus on jin's safety, which is the priority, being angry and upset kind of ruined my day yesterday ;-; and it's true that they used to have FESTA in-person fanmeetings that were paid too and even more restricted to the audience, it just hurt more bc it's not an usual thing, it's the day a member is coming back after 18 months of serving. it was hard to see this more as an event and less like a simple "hi, we missed you" thing, but yeah, it'll be an event at the end of the day. i keep thinking about how brave he is, being the first to come back and going to the stage right after... i know he misses it, but it would be understandable if he wasn't ready for that

BUT anyway, i'll be sharing links with you when the day comes, and i can't wait to see his beautiful face, to hear his voice, to read the comments of people who'll be able to hug him T-T and to see him performing 🥺

and it looks like people won't be able to record the hug session, i think that i would be too anxious to see so many videos on my tl before we got to actually watch the livestream, does that make sense? so the first session will feel more like when they went to the pre-recording of music shows, something that only people there (and jin) will have as a memory 🥺

AND MAYBE, just maybe, later they can release some glimpses of it, like it was with tae's layover fanmeeting? 🤞

oh thank you so much for saying that, I really appreciate you thinking about me when it comes to these talks 🤍 sometimes it can get quite exhausting, but then I just answer later when I’m in the headspace for it again, it’s alright!!

yes yes exactly, paid festa content is definitely not new but I agree with you that a member’s return is just not the same as something like an ot7 concert, it just doesn’t feel right to me to put that behind a paywall.

I see it the same way as you, it’s totally okay that they won’t record the first session (it would also put a lot of armys on display which I personally, if I was there, also wouldn’t want at all! so I think it’s fine for both sides of the fandom)

there’s a possibility that they’ll upload a highlight video of the day for sure! they were kind enough to do that for both the vicnic and also yoongi’s movie night before, so let’s hope!

I hope you get to enjoy jin’s return next week (next week!!!!! ahhhh!!!!), don’t let your mood be too spoiled darling, it’s gonna feel great to welcome him back no matter which way 🤍

[whatyourusherthinks]

Inside Out 2 Review

Oh god I'm gonna get fucking slaughtered for this one. Oh hello! Inside Out is a pretty good movie right? Well, yeah. I wouldn't put it on my top ten list of animated movies or anything, but I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. The way it personifies aspects of our emotional states is pretty interesting actually, as long as you can swing with the metaphor. But Pixar and an... interesting track record with sequels, so I'd say a second instalment isn't necessarily a guarantee for quality here.

What's the Movie About?

Riley goes through puberty while going to hockey camp, and Headquarters gains some new emotions that kick out the old ones.

What I Like.

A lot of this review could just be a review for the first Inside Out, so the things I like best about this movie are the same as the last. The various ways the movie explains different aspects on human psychology is really interesting. They introduce a mechanic of a self image that gets solidified by sending certain memories to a pool beneath headquarters and that was pretty interesting. The visualization of brainstorming and panic attacks were excellent. The characterization of Envy being really tiny and Embarrassment being the one to first turn against Anxiety was perfect as well. I like that one of Riley's darkest secrets was that she still likes Blue's Clues. (Me too Riley. Me too.) The voice cast is also top notch, just like the first movie. There were a couple moments where Amy Poehler and the animators really got to act as Joy and they were probably the best scenes in the movie. Inside Out (the first one) completely undid all of the negative effects of the plot at the very end, which I thought was annoying. And credit where credit is due, Inside Out 2 does not do that. I also got a dark laugh out of the scene where the thought animators riot against Anxiety, how'd the hell they slip that scene by the Disney Overlords?

What I Didn't Like.

Unfortunately the sequel does not improve my low points of the first. When the metaphor doesn't make sense, it really doesn't make sense. I can deal with the various emotions having their own emotions, but why can different emotions have crushes on each other? Or why does Riley has multigendered emotions with different hair styles when everyone else in the universe has emotions that all look very similar? There's a couple times where stuff jumps out at you or something suddenly makes a loud noise. And maybe I'm officially old, but I did not appreciate the jump scare. I kind of hate that the conflict of these movies is based on irrational behavior. I feel like it's kind of unavoidable based on the premise (even more than most comedies), but at least the first movie it felt understandable that Riley was acting out. She's 11, and her entire life got uprooted. The second movie is she's just trying to impress a clique. And yeah, they take pretty much every single awkward and irrational action every teen sitcom takes with this plotline. It got to the point where I was dreading the sections that flash back to headquarters. Also, this is kind of unavoidable with the personification I guess, but the fact that they portray negative states of mind seems a little shifty, right? As some one with mental illness, how am I supposed to take this movie? It's not my fault I have anxiety disorder and anger issues. Clearly my Joy didn't try hard enough to return to headquarters after being ejected!

My final complaint is certainly unique to the second outing, however. They retcon a lot of new things in the new movie, and the explanation is pretty much, "Oh yeah, we just didn't show you that before." or "It's new. Shut up.". I mentioned that there is a pool beneath Headquarters that they send memories to to create Riley's self image. Well that pool is in the Memory Dump. You know. The massive pit where Bing Bong died. Well now everyone has an elevator down to a nice lake where all the memories can go and sprout into a tree or some shit. And I guess nothing gets forgotten anymore? Also, and I've been saying this since the teaser came out, but the ending of the Inside Out implies that the more complex emotions are just combinations of the emotions we start out with. That's the point of the upgraded console at the end. Just because internet commentators were too stupid to get that and mentioning that "Inside Out ignores a bunch of other emotions humans have" made them feel smart, now the people who made the movies feel like they needed to prove a point and double the cast without a good explanation.

Final Summation.

Do you remember Salt Bae? He got internet famous for like two seconds because he sprinkled salt in a weird way and they used that to make a restaurant or something? Yeah, the restaurant with the gold plated steak. Inside Out 2 is the first bowel movement you take after eating there. It's got little flecks of something valuable in it, but it's mostly just recycled and shit. Jesus Roan that's pretty harsh for a kids movie. Is Inside Out 2 really that bad? Well here's the thing Buggnutz...

Inside Out 2 is Inside Out but worse. Without the context of Inside Out, is it worse than, say, IF? No, I wouldn't say so. I certainly have given worse movies passes. But usually that's because I appreciate the uniqueness of the concept, or it gives me something I can't get anywhere else. Basically, there is no better movie, so I enjoy what I have. But I have a better movie than Inside Out 2. It's the first Inside Out. The sequel doesn't expand on any of the first movie's concepts in ways that makes sense, it's doesn't do any of the beats of the first movie better, and it doesn't make me feel any emotions stronger than the first one did. It's passable kids fair, but when has that stopped me from trashing a movie?

[duncanstewartsblog]

Sweet Bean

Going from horror to this film was an absolute trip and a half but at the same time that’s what’s great about cinema and how the two can coexist with one another. But to start getting into the film I just wanted to say how crushing it was to see Tokue be fired from the job purely because of her past with leprosy. This kind older woman reminded me a lot of my grandmother so it made me think a lot about her throughout and I’m happy I still have her around but I can’t imagine not knowing I could visit her or she didn’t get to do everything she wanted to do in life. The ending of Tokue saying that she was just happy for the time that she got to spend doing what she liked made me really sad and grateful for the time I have on earth as well. It sounds kind of cheesy but I truly do feel this way as I really do think this movie had some good messages about enjoying the place you are in even if it may be hard. Especially as a college student the world can seem caving in on you sometimes but you have to take a step back sometimes and realize it's not all about me and there’s more to life than this. Do what you want to do in life and enjoy it, it will take effort and lots of hard work to get there but at the same time that’s something to look forward to. I really liked this film a lot more than I expected to and I think these types of films get overlooked a lot because there is quite a few of them that may teach the same message over and over again but at the same time why is it a bad thing to learn the message of kindness and to enjoy life necessarily a bad thing. My one negative to the film though however was the inclusion of the school girl because I think she did have some importance to the overall story but at the same time I just felt like she wasn’t absolutely needed and was more brought in to just move the story along and find story details out which is yeah I guess understandable but at the same time it just seemed unneeded, I don’t know. Overall, this was a nice palette cleanser before getting to the final films of this semester but it’s nice to feel all kinds of warm inside after a film after feeling kind of hopeless after the last two films and especially after watching those god awful American remakes. So, definitely go watch this film.

Grade: B

[hystarria]

“Brooklyn Baby”

“yeah my boyfriends pretty cool”

“but he’s not as cool as me”

lowercase intended, 2ed person POV (You, Yours,) ((may change as i get more comfortable with the book)), crossposted on wattpad under h1starria, female reader

Chapter 2 - “ew.”

((pov change lols))

you lay in your bedroom after the whole fiasco with Ruby, and think:

’im really irresponsable.’

Ruby cooks and cleans for you guys, and you just take it without a second thought. ‘I need to change my life’ so you get up, then lay back down, because, that’s a tomorrow Y/N problem.

now it’s a today Y/N problem! as you rush to get ready you really wish you hadn’t put it off, but, it was late and.. no! you need to stop making excuses, take accountability! you pick up your phone and run through the streets running smack into someone,

“ow fuck!” they exclaim, as you turn around apologetically

“i’m sooo sorry.”

the person looks up at you, ’ew.’ is your first thought. who has mutton chops, what year is it, 1854?

“hey, not a problem” he avoids your gaze, more concerned about himself

“where are you off to that you almost fuckin’ killed me?”

“you just strike up conversations with random people here? not what i was taught, but okay.”

“i do when i don’t wanna take them to court..” “and win.”

he laughs at his own joke, ’what a jerk’ you think rolling your eyes

“to find a job.”

“n you think just running through the streets like a corny coming of age movie praying someone has a position is gonna work?”

“i mean, yeah?” he bursts out laughing at how dumb that sounds.

“look Toots, as luck would have it you ran into the right man, i know places everywhere.” you glare at him signaling for him to go on,

“impatient much?”

“a little when i’m talking to a stranger.”

“fair.” you take a closer look at him, that icky feeling still in your mind about him, he didn’t seem awful, but he sure acted like it.

“there’s this corner store i go to all the time, recently their cashier got busted for some kinda underground thing, and they need a new one. the manager is this 16 year old girl who definitely shouldn’t be one, but she’s chill.”

“mhm..?”

“i’ll take you if you want? pretty sure they’ve been lookin’ for a while, so desperate they’d hire anyone at this point.” you were hesitant to say the least, but definitely more desperate.

“i-guess?” he smiles, ’ew’ you think once more, but the feeling wasn’t very negative. you weren’t sure what it was.

((A/N HIIIII IM BACK, 3 things, when i crosspost, links n stuff will be at the top, i have lots of ideas that will be oneshots soon, and this book will be delayed i’m so so sorry)) (((can u tell tumblr deleted my draft a bunch?)))

[bookwormcosplays]

Apparently, I watched phase one of marvel so now we're onto phase two. Let's go!

Iron Man 3: Oh Stark is a jerk. We already knew this, but like that really is a low blow to go out of your way to tell someone you're going to do something then not do it. Not from personal experience of course... *sighs* I enjoyed this. I really did. Way better than the first movie, but I think I like it a smidge better than the sequel. I prefer the sequel'a villain though because it felt more valid. But also if someone left me on the roof, I would want to fight them too. I don't like the arc reactor being taken away. I know this universe continues and I felt like the arc reactor protected him against Loki. I don't know. Also the kid, I really liked him. When kids are in movies, I tense up because it'll either be done really well or really bad. In this case, the boy acted his little heart out. Onto the next movie!

Thor The Dark World: BORING. SNOOZEFEST. I really tried here guys. I watched the movie. Sure the realms lore and the antagonists are interesting I guess, but Thor and his story is just boring. If Taika "ruined the Thor franchise" with the newest Thor film, it has to be the worst movie ever written. This one and the first are the only ones I've actively disliked so far.

Captain America Winter Soldier: Okay we should be back in the good world. Maybe I'll understand the bucky x steve ship with this one. I have higher hope for this because generally after a boring one Marvel gives you a good movie. This is where the "you know me" "no I don't" meme comes from??? I liked this one a lot. This is better than all the Iron Man movies and Avengers. This is really good. I didn't expect much since I wasn't really a fan of the first film, but this had me immersed from beginning to end. I expected Captain America to be reunited with his old friend Bucky so it was interesting that didn't happen. I'm excited about the twins! I'm thinking... It's someone that has become popular in these last couple of years. But don't tell me!

Guardians of the Galaxy: Yeah I'm not wasting my time on this one

Avengers Age of Ultron: I just really HATE that they feel the need to make a romance film out of everything. I want superheroes. Not everyone needs to be in a relationship. Give it a break. But I'm enjoying the philosophical questions this movie is breaking. Also at first, I felt like the characters were flat now I'm starting to see their dimensions. The twins were interesting characters and the stark weapons showed up again. This is what I talk about when people apologize for their actions. Yes you can genuinely feel sorry, but your actions still affected people in real life at the end of the day. You can't blame anyone for the grudges they hold or the lack of forgiveness when they were negatively affected by you. I liked the antagonist in this one and also his death was pretty cool (some of the villains deaths were kinda corny ngl). Not my favorite of the avengers movie mostly because of the whole relationship thing that took up too much of the movie in my opinion especially when I didn't care. Also the "fine I'll do it myself" meme!

Ant Man: Skipping this one too for now