#So this is the best I can do at my current level
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HISTORY IN THE MAKING - nerd!NR
pairing- nerd!natasha romanoff x reader
cw- 18+!!; top!reader, gp!bottom!natasha, handjob (n rcv), blowie (n rcv), missionary, praise kink, breeding kink, unprotected sex, creampie? muaha... shy daddy!nat UGHH, kind of orgasm control & slight edging if you squint
wc- 5.4k
a/n- drabble turned fic as i worked my way through these exact history shenanigans a few days back... in the same INTIMATE STUDIES universe! might make this a cute lil thing :) this is very much NOT my best work, i might rework it a little bit just to make it flow a lil more! apologies if there are any repetitions, i tried to catch them, but my brain is fried :/
synopsis- natasha's helping you study russia's history, and the rest is history?? idk it's too late rn guys i'm going to sleep
taglist- @lost-mortemanghel ♥︎, @idkwhatever580, @elliecoochieeater, @left-and-right-up-and-down, @deadlesbianwitches, @lizziewitchy ❀, @simpforlizzie, @riyaexee
You’re sitting cross-legged on Natasha’s bed, staring down at a jumble of Russian history notes that you’re certain might as well be in Cyrillic themselves. The words swim on the page, stubbornly refusing to click in the way chemistry formulas or physics equations do. You press the back of your pen to your lips, glancing over at the figure hunched over the desk in the corner of the room.
Natasha is fully engrossed in her game, brows furrowed in concentration as her fingers fly across the keyboard. The light from her monitor casts a soft glow on her face, highlighting the curve of her cheek and the gentle bite of her lower lip. She’s wearing a simple white blouse tucked into a plaid skirt, her usual attempt to dress professionally for class long since abandoned in favour of cosy socks and a messy bun.
You can’t help but smile a little. The contrast between Natasha’s outward shyness and the intensity in her focus has always been something you found endearing. You met in the class you were currently trying to study for, back when you’d shown up late to Russian history, fumbling through an awkward introduction as the professor sighed and directed you to sit in the last free seat beside her. It had taken a few study sessions for you to get past her initial stammering, but now, you could ask her about anything and her eyes would light up, eagerly launching into whatever story or fact you were struggling to understand. But right now, that focus is directed entirely on her computer screen.
You clear your throat. “Natasha?”
“Hm?” She barely looks up, eyes quickly darting back to her screen.
“Nat,” you repeat, with a hint of a smile. “I need help with the comparison of Russia until 1917 and the West-European’s Ancien Régime. And… pretty much all the details, too.”
She gives a little sigh, half-distracted. “Mm. Yes, the parables are… very interesting, baby. Give me one second. I’m doing really well.”
You hold back a laugh. “Right, but I’m failing Russian history. Melina and Alexei will both kill me. So can you take a break?”
Her eyes don’t leave the screen. “I will, I promise. Just a few more minutes. I’m close to beating this level.”
You can’t help but roll your eyes at her single-minded dedication. Her stubborn innocence, the way she always seems to be pulled between her gentle nature and her intense focus, has you mesmerised. But she can’t honestly think you’re going to wait forever.
“Natasha,” you say softly, standing and crossing over to her desk. Her gaze flicks up to you on her side, her big, doe-like eyes widening with an almost bashful look as you lean against the desk. “You’re seriously not going to help me?”
She blushes, biting her lip. “I really want to help,” she whispers, almost apologetic, “but, really, just a little longer? Please?”
There’s something about the sweet innocence of her pleading that has your heart racing. Her earnestness always has a way of drawing you in, those wide, round eyes like they’re begging for permission to keep playing, and her lips slightly parted in concentration. You tilt your head, taking in every detail of her—the slight blush dusting her cheeks, the faint glimmer of anticipation in her eyes, and the way her fingers clutch the keyboard just a little tighter, like she’s holding onto the game but secretly hoping you’ll take control.
You smile softly and reach for her chair, turning it around so she’s facing you. Her hands hover in the air, a brief look of panic on her face as she loses her place in the game. She opens her mouth to protest, but before she can say anything, you’re sliding onto her lap, straddling her, feeling the warmth of her strong thighs under you.
“Wait! You made me fall off the map!” Natasha squeaks, her voice a mixture of exasperation and a hint of excitement. Her hands instinctively find your hips, holding you as if she’s afraid you might slip away.
You give her a gentle smile, leaning in so that your faces are mere inches apart. “I thought you were going to help me study,” you murmur, your voice dropping to a soft, coaxing tone. You press your hands to her shoulders, letting your fingers trail along her collarbone, feeling the way her heartbeat quickens under your touch.
“I… I was,” she stammers, her cheeks flushing a deep pink, and you catch the slight tremble in her voice. “I just… my game.”
You tilt her chin up, making her meet your gaze, and she blushes even deeper, her fingers tightening their grip on your hips as her eyes grow wide, almost vulnerable. “Natty,” you say, your voice laced with playful patience, “I really need you to focus on me now. History, please.”
Her mouth opens slightly, as though she wants to argue, but all that comes out is a breathy whisper. “Okay.”
You hold Natasha’s gaze, the intensity in her eyes gradually overpowering her initial shyness. Her fingers rest on your hips, hesitant and yet possessive, as though she’s still trying to find some control in this position. Her breath catches each time you shift even slightly, and you can feel her heartbeat racing beneath your touch, each little change in her demeanour making her even more endearing.
You run your thumb along her jawline, feeling the delicate skin beneath, and she lets out a soft breath, her lips parting as she unconsciously leans into your touch. Her eyes flicker from yours to your lips, as if she’s desperately waiting for some kind of signal, a sign that she’s allowed to give in completely.
“Natasha,” you murmur, bringing your face close enough to feel her breath mingling with yours, “what are the key similarities, and how do the t<o regimes differ?”
She hums, her cheeks a soft shade of pink, but words seem to fail her. The hand on your hip trembles slightly, as though she wants to pull you closer but doesn’t dare to, not without permission. You feel the tension building, a mix of her nervousness and desire, and it only makes you want to pull her in even more.
Finally, you press a feather-light kiss to her cheek, just next to her ear, and whisper, “Come on, Natty. Think, please. Need your pretty self to explain it to me.”
She shivers under your touch, swallowing as she tries to remember the words. “Um… right, the… they didn’t have religious freedom,” she stammers, her voice barely above a whisper. The fingers on your hip dig in just slightly, a mix of nerves and need as she fights to keep her focus. “Orthodoxy– uh, there were lots of violent riots… against Muslims, but mostly Jews. Those were called pogroms and… oh…”
Her wordds trail off as you tilt her chin slightly, pressing another soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. Her blush deepens, and you feel the way her body responds, her tension giving way to a faint tremor as she tries to keep talking.
“You’re so good at this,” you whisper, guiding her with gentle encouragement. “But I’m going to need a little more focus from you if we’re going to get through all this history.”
Her breath catches, and she nods, biting her lip as she tries to concentrate. “I can focus,” she whispers, more to herself than to you, as though she’s trying to convince herself as much as you. Her gaze stays locked onto yours, her wide eyes full of innocence mixed with a yearning she can’t quite hide.
Her fingers finally slide up your sides, settling on the dip of your waist with a delicate grip, as though she’s terrified of doing too much, yet completely unwilling to let go. You smile softly, placing a hand over hers, squeezing in silent encouragement, and her blush deepens, her eyes darting away for just a second.
But you don’t let her break eye contact for long. Tilting her chin back to you, you brush your lips over hers in a kiss so soft it’s barely there, and she lets out a faint sigh, melting into the touch. Her grip tightens again, and you feel her breath hitch as you deepen the kiss just slightly, enough to make her toes curl beneath her chair.
“Tell me more,” you murmur, pausing just inches from her mouth, close enough that she can feel the heat radiating between you. “About the razzias. I want to hear you explain it.”
Her lips part, her mind clearly racing to catch up, but she manages a shaky breath. “They just were um, a…,” she stammers, her voice a mix of strained focus and barely-restrained excitement. Her hands start to relax, as though she’s finding confidence in your guidance. “They… uh– it’s a reckoning against religious ideals.”
“Mm-hmm,” you hum in approval, your thumb tracing gentle circles on her cheek. “And then the revolution happened?”
Her eyes flicker down to your lips, and she swallows, her voice barely more than a whisper. “There were two revolutions, technically. First, the February Revolution, and then the radicalised October Revolution.”
Her words start to blur into soft breaths as you lean closer, the warmth of her skin against yours heightening with each delicate touch. You feel her legs shift under you, and a soft gasp escapes her when you shift your weight in her lap, pressing yourself against her in a way that’s both innocent and electric. Her lashes flutter, and her eyes grow hazy, the careful focus she was trying to hold onto slipping with each passing second.
“Good girl,” you murmur, your voice soft and affectionate. Her lips part in a faint, breathless smile, and you feel her chest rise as she takes in a shaky breath, her grip on you tightening just a little more.
You tilt her head back, keeping her gaze locked on yours, letting your fingers trail down her throat, feeling the rapid thrum of her pulse beneath your touch. Her eyes widen, a mixture of awe and anticipation in them as she watches your every move, her hands moving under your sweater like she’s trying to ground herself.
“Do you want to keep going?” you ask softly, running a finger along her jawline, watching the way her breath catches in response.
She nods, unable to find words, her cheeks flushed a deep pink. Her eyes hold that same innocent, almost pleading look, as though she’s begging you to take control, to guide her wherever you want.
You smile, letting your hand drift down from her jaw, fingers grazing along her collarbone, before you slowly trail down to her chest and stomach, where you can feel the rise and fall of her shallow breaths.
“Okay, baby,” you murmur, your words soothing yet commanding as you press a gentle kiss to her neck, feeling the way her pulse quickens under your lips. She shivers, a barely audible whimper escaping her lips, her wide eyes softening as she watches you, her gaze full of innocent trust.
“Natasha,” you whisper, drawing out her name like a gentle caress, “let me help you focus.” Her breath catches, and she gives a shaky nod, her hands tightening their grip on the chair. You slowly lower yourself from her lap, letting your hands slide down the smooth skin of her thighs, feeling the way her body tenses under your touch only to relax as you continue, inching her knees apart.
Her blush deepens, and you can feel her shyness mingling with anticipation as her skirt rides up, revealing the growing hardness pressing against the fabric of her boxers. You let your fingers trace along her inner thigh, watching the way she trembles slightly at each delicate touch. Her wide eyes remain fixed on yours, that blend of vulnerability and desire making your own heart race as you take her in.
“Relax for me,” you murmur, running your hands gently along her thighs. You reach up to brush your fingers over the fabric straining to hold her in, and her lips part in a soft, involuntary moan, her cheeks flushing even deeper as she squirms in her seat.
With slow, deliberate movements, you slide her underwear down, watching the way her member springs free, her blush turning crimson as she looks away for a moment, a mixture of nervousness and excitement flickering across her face. You press a gentle kiss along her inner thigh, easing her legs further apart and taking in her reactions, savouring each shiver, each small gasp that escapes her lips. When you move your mouth closer to her length, you look up at her, waiting until her gaze meets yours.
Once it does, you bring your mouth to her, pressing a feather-light kiss along her shaft, and her reaction is instant—her hips jerk slightly, and she lets out a trembling breath, her fingers clutching the arms of her chair as she tries to stay still. Her breath hitches with every movement, her wide eyes looking down at you, filled with both awe and that same sweet shyness that makes her all the more endearing.
Slowly, you take her into your mouth, your tongue gliding over her, humming at the way she gasps, her fingers gripping the chair so tightly her knuckles turn white. You can feel her body tense under your touch, the warmth of her length in your mouth, and the way she squirms with each gentle movement. Her breathing becomes ragged, her cheeks flushed as her lashes flutter, struggling to keep eye contact.
“Just relax, Natty,” you murmur between gentle caresses, pausing only to offer soft words of encouragement, letting her feel the warmth of your breath against her sensitive skin. “You’re doing so well.”
Her eyes soften further at your words, her lips parted in a soft, breathless smile as she gives a faint nod, her entire body melting under your touch. She lets out a quiet, shaky moan as you continue, her hips shifting involuntarily, her breath hitching each time your mouth moves a little deeper. The look in her eyes—vulnerable yet trusting—only fuels your desire to take her further.
You increase your pace just slightly, watching the way her eyes grow hazier with each passing second, her fingers now reaching out, finding your shoulder as if she needs something to hold onto. The desperation in her gaze, the slight whimpers that escape her lips, all signal how close she’s getting. You pause, pulling back just enough to look up at her, watching the way she struggles to catch her breath.
“You’re so good, Natasha,” you murmur, words muffled by her heat in you, enjoying the way she shivers under the praise. “But don’t let go just yet. I want to take my time with you.”
Her blush deepens at the command, and she nods, swallowing hard as she holds back, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tries to control herself. You press a soft kiss to her length, smiling at the way she bites her lip, her fingers still clutching your shoulder as she gives herself over to your touch.
With her breaths growing more ragged, you let your hand slide down her thigh, resting at the base of her length as you ease back, switching from the warmth of your mouth to the gentle grip of your hand. Natasha whimpers softly, her lashes fluttering as she watches you with that wide-eyed, innocent gaze. Her hands grip the arms of her chair for stability, her cheeks flushed and lips parted as you begin to stroke her slowly, savouring each reaction.
“Does that feel good, Natty?” you murmur, watching the way her eyes flutter closed for a moment as she nods, her entire body leaning toward your touch.
“Yes,” she breathes, her voice barely above a whisper, laced with a need she’s struggling to hold back. You watch the way her chest rises and falls, each shuddering breath making her more vulnerable, more open to your every move.
You increase the pressure slightly, your hand moving in a slow, deliberate rhythm that has her toes curling, her wide eyes looking down at you with unguarded adoration. You can see how close she is, her face a mix of tension and awe as she clutches at her chair, her mouth falling open in a soft gasp when you switch back to your mouth, taking her in once again.
“Please,” she whispers, her voice trembling, barely audible. She shifts in her seat, her grip tightening as she fights to stay composed, though the desperation in her voice betrays her.
“You want more?” you murmur, pulling back just enough to look up at her, letting your breath ghost over her sensitive skin. She nods frantically, her gaze pleading, as though she’s ready to beg for you to keep going. Her vulnerability makes your heart race, and you lean back in, pressing soft, lingering kisses along her length before taking her in your hand again.
Each change between your mouth and hand drives her closer to that edge, her quiet, broken moans growing more frequent as her body responds to your every touch. You take your time, alternating between gentle strokes and teasing kisses, watching the way her resolve unravels completely. Her hips move instinctively, seeking more, her breath shallow and desperate.
Finally, you slow your pace, watching the way she shudders in response, her gaze hazy and her body fully at peace yet trembling in your hands. “I told you, Natty,” you whisper, pausing to press a kiss to her thigh, “I’m taking my time with you.”
She lets out a shaky exhale, her hands falling from the chair to clutch at your shoulders, her breathing still erratic as she tries to hold herself back. But you can see the way she’s teetering on that edge, fully surrendered to you.
As you continue to alternate between using your hand and mouth, her wide, vulnerable gaze grows more unfocused, her lips parting as her body instinctively responds to you. But just when you think she’s letting herself fall into your pace, you feel her fingers tangle in your hair, firm but trembling, gently pressing down, silently urging you to take her deeper.
The sudden assertiveness surprises you, but you comply, letting her guide you, feeling the way her grip tightens slightly, the desperation in her touch almost pleading. Her quiet whimpers grow louder, echoing in the room as she watches you, her gaze dark with fascination, completely enraptured by the sight of you surrendering to her need.
“Oh, please…” she murmurs, her voice a breathy whisper, barely containing herself. You feel her body shiver as you take her deeper, her soft gasp filling the air. Her eyes, usually so innocent and shy, are now dark with awe, wide and almost worshipful, as though she can barely believe what she’s seeing. She bites her lip, her face flushed, her expression somewhere between a plea and an apology, completely mesmerised by the sight of you.
Finally, feeling your control slip in her grasp, you tap her thigh, and she releases her grip on your hair immediately, looking down at you with that same innocent gaze, as if wondering if she’s overstepped. Her cheeks are flushed, her gaze shy once again, as she watches you with bated breath, clearly unsure of your next move.
Standing up slowly, you meet her gaze, your eyes smouldering as you reach down and slip off your underwear, letting the fabric fall to the floor before stepping out of it. Natasha’s eyes widen, her cheeks a deeper pink as her gaze travels from your face down the length of your body, lingering on the hem of your sweater as if transfixed by the contrast.
Before she can fully take in the sight, you reach for her, your fingers tangling in her hair as you tug her up from the chair, her body following your movements without hesitation. She gasps softly, her breath catching as she’s pulled to her feet, her wide, adoring eyes flicking up to meet yours.
“Strip for me,” you command, your voice low, leaving no room for argument. You release her hair, your touch lingering for just a second as you make your way to her bed, settling yourself atop her scattered history notes, the crinkling of the papers the only sound breaking the silence. She watches, her blush deepening, clearly entranced by the sight of you lying there, completely at ease and in control. Her hands go to the hem of her skirt, her fingers trembling slightly as she begins to undress, her gaze never leaving yours.
Natasha’s fingers tremble slightly as she slides off her skirt, letting it fall to the floor. Her shirt soon follows, revealing the flushed skin of her chest and the slight rise and fall of her breath as she finally stands in front of you, completely exposed and vulnerable. Her eyes flicker between your gaze and your body sprawled out over her history notes, her cheeks flushed with both shyness and desire. You stretch out comfortably, your sweater rucked up just enough to tease her, watching her with that same confident, hungry look that’s left her at your mercy all evening.
“Come here, Natty,” you murmur, your voice firm but soft. She steps forward, her movements hesitant but her gaze locked on you, and you guide her down onto the bed until she’s hovering over you, her body settling between your legs. Her breath catches as she takes you in, her wide, adoring eyes drinking in the sight of you beneath her, looking up at her with that unwavering, confident smile that’s made her melt all night.
As Natasha hovers above you, her body fitting perfectly between your legs, you can feel the nervous tremble in her limbs, her cheeks flushed as she takes in the sight of you lying beneath her, waiting. Her wide eyes, so shy and adoring, sweep over your face and then down, drinking in every inch of your body, as though each glance leaves her more entranced. Her lips part slightly, her breath coming in short, shallow gasps as she steadies herself, hands resting tentatively on either side of you.
You reach up, cupping her face in your hands and guiding her closer, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, feeling the heat radiate off her skin. She melts into you, her body instinctively pressing down, filling the space between you as her lips respond, moving tenderly yet hungrily, every kiss leaving her more breathless. With a gentle nudge, you guide her hips forward, feeling her length brush against your entrance, and she lets out a soft, broken gasp, her face flushed a deep pink as she begins to press into you.
You hum, running your hands through her hair, tugging gently to pull her closer, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to her lips. She gasps against your mouth, her lips parting as you deepen the kiss, feeling her shiver as she responds, her body pressing eagerly into yours. She lets out a soft, desperate moan as she slides inside, her hands gripping the sheets beside you.
“Oh,” she murmurs, barely above a whisper, her eyes fluttering shut as she feels the warmth of your body surrounding her, enveloping her in a way that leaves her trembling. Her breath hitches, and she clutches the sheets beside you, her hands forming tight fists as she adjusts to the feeling, her gaze filled with wonder as she looks down at you.
“Good girl,” you whisper, watching the way her face softens at the praise, her body shuddering as she begins to move, her hips rolling forward in slow, tentative strokes. You feel each careful movement, each deliberate inch of her body pressing into yours, her lips parted in a quiet moan, her eyes half-lidded as she loses herself in the rhythm, her shy gaze growing more intense with each passing second.
With every thrust, her body trembles, her gaze filled with a raw vulnerability as though she’s giving herself to you completely, utterly. She clutches the sheets even tighter, her breathing quickening, her eyes never leaving yours as she moves deeper, her breath coming in soft, desperate pants.
“That’s it, Natty,” you murmur, running a hand along her cheek, feeling the way her breath catches at your touch. “Just like that.”
Her lips part in response, a soft whimper escaping her as her hips begin to move faster, her body pressing into yours with a growing urgency that she can barely control. She shivers, the need and intensity in her gaze building with every touch, every whispered word of encouragement. Her lashes flutter as she looks down at you, her cheeks a deep shade of pink, her expression vulnerable, almost pleading, as though she wants more but can barely bring herself to ask for it.
“Right there, Daddy,” you murmur, your voice soft, just loud enough for her to hear. The word slips from your lips easily, and you watch the way her entire being responds—the tremor in her hips, the widening of her eyes, the soft, desperate whine that falls from her lips. Her face and neck flush a deeper, unmistakable red, and for a moment, she looks at you with pure, unguarded awe, her expression caught between disbelief and overwhelming need.
Her hands tremble, her hips stuttering as she takes in the title, her body pressing instinctively deeper as though the sound alone draws her closer to the edge. “Daddy,” you whisper again, watching her face as she loses herself in the word, her expression filling with a blend of shyness and barely contained desire.
“P-please…” she stammers, her voice trembling, almost breaking as she holds herself back, her body trembling with the strain of it. “I… I need…”
You reach up, running your hand through her hair, guiding her gaze back to yours. “It’s okay, Natty,” you murmur, your voice soft, coaxing. “You don’t have to hold back.”
Her wide eyes fill with a deep, unrestrained need, and she lets out a soft, shaky exhale, her hands sliding from the sheets to grip your waist, holding you as though grounding herself. Her movements grow more erratic, her hips pressing deeper, her body responding to every encouraging word, every touch, as though completely under your control.
As she moves, you see the way she loses herself in each thrust, her face flushed, her mouth open as her breath comes in ragged, desperate pants. She looks down at you with that same innocent, adoring gaze, but now, there’s something more—something raw, a hunger she can barely contain. Her hips press forward, filling you completely, her body shuddering as she reaches the edge, her wide eyes pleading, searching your gaze for permission.
“Come for me, Daddy,” you whisper, your voice soft but firm, and you feel the way her body reacts, her grip tightening on your waist as she shudders, her hips jerking forward in a desperate, trembling thrust. Her eyes close as she gasps, her head falling forward as she loses herself completely, spilling into you with a soft, broken moan, her body pressing close, clinging to you as though she’s never felt anything so intense.
As Natasha trembles on top of you, her body pressed close, you feel every soft, shivering breath she takes, the weight of her against you as she finally lets go, spilling into you. Her head dips forward, eyes tightly shut, her lips parted in a quiet, desperate gasp as she comes, the warmth of her release filling you, a slow, deep pulse that seems to steal the breath from her lungs. Her grip tightens on your waist as if she’s clinging to you, grounding herself in the sensation, her face buried in the crook of your neck.
You can feel her chest rising and falling against you, her breaths ragged and shallow as she lets out a soft whimper, the vulnerability in her voice making your heart swell. Her hips press forward with each wave, as though she wants to be as close to you as possible, feeling every inch of her warmth, every pulse, spill into you, marking you in a way that’s both intimate and utterly consuming.
Each pulse of her release sends a shiver through her, her breathing shallow and uneven as she slowly comes down from the high, her eyes fluttering open, looking down at you with a dazed, awestruck expression. She looks at you with a mixture of gratitude and worship, her cheeks still flushed, her lips parted in a soft, blissful smile.
You brush a hand along her cheek, and she leans into your touch, closing her eyes as she takes a deep, steadying breath, her hands still holding you close, as though she can’t bear to let go.
“Natty,” you murmur, running your hands through her hair, guiding her face up to meet your gaze. Her eyes open slowly, her lashes fluttering as she looks at you, her gaze soft, overwhelmed, filled with a raw, unguarded adoration that she can’t hide. Her face is flushed, her lips slightly parted, her expression completely mesmerised as though she can barely believe you’re here, beneath her, accepting every bit of her.
A soft, blissful smile tugs at her lips, her hand moving up to gently cradle your face as she leans in, pressing a delicate, lingering kiss to your lips, her breaths still heavy, warm. She holds you like this, savouring the closeness, the feel of you wrapped around her, the warmth of her release settling within you.
Finally, she shifts, her forehead resting against yours, her eyes wide, her breath still uneven, as though she’s only just starting to come back to herself. She looks at you with a mixture of awe and disbelief, her fingers tracing your jawline softly, reverently.
“I… I didn’t mean to…” she stammers, her face flushing deeper, her shy gaze flicking away for a moment.
But you smile, reaching up to cup her face, bringing her gaze back to yours, your voice soft and reassuring. “Natty… it’s okay,” you murmur, brushing a thumb over her cheek. “I wanted this, too. I asked.”
She lets out a soft, relieved exhale, her body relaxing as she sinks into you, her arms wrapping around you, holding you as though afraid to let go. You feel her heartbeat gradually slow, her warmth enveloping you, her gaze still soft, full of that same innocent awe as she watches you, completely lost in the moment.
As Natasha catches her breath, her fingers lingering on your skin as though afraid to break the closeness between you, she finally shifts to pull out, a soft, satisfied sigh escaping her lips. She watches with wide, almost mesmerised eyes as your bodies separate, and her gaze drops to the way your mixed warmth slowly begins to spill out of you, the evidence of everything you’ve shared glistening in the low light.
Her lips part, her cheeks flushed as her gaze stays fixed, almost transfixed, and she can’t hide the blush that rises as she takes it all in. She’s caught somewhere between admiration and disbelief, her wide eyes drinking in every detail as though this might all disappear any second.
“Take a picture; it’ll last longer, Natty,” you tease, your smirk playful, voice soft, cutting through her daze. She looks up, startled, blinking as she registers your words. But after a second, she lets out a quiet, breathless laugh, her blush deepening as she reaches over to grab her phone, still trembling slightly from the intensity of the moment. She snaps a quick picture, her gaze flicking between the screen and you, clearly savouring every second. The reverence in her expression makes your heart skip, a feeling of pride filling you as you watch her.
Once she’s put the phone aside, she reaches over with a soft, sheepish smile, helping you sit up and adjust yourself. Her gaze softens, that shy, affectionate look taking over as she wraps her arms around you, holding you close, savouring the warmth that lingers between you both.
And then she glances at the bed, a small, nervous laugh escaping as she spots her carefully scattered history notes—now crinkled, a little rumpled, with more than a few slightly smudged edges. Without missing a beat, she moves to gather them, straightening the papers, her cheeks still a warm shade of pink as she moves to tidy up.
a/n- apologies if this is the worst piece i've written LOL i've been surviving on a few hours of sleep for the past few days- big thanks to jess for somehow helping me get through this, i'll let you keep your ps5. sigh. i'd still build a princess castle tho.
#romugh's nerd!natty#men and minors dni#romugh slays#romugh writes#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff reader#natasha romanoff x reader#black widow#nerdy natty forever my love#nerd natasha#natasha romanoff smut#bottom natasha romanoff#romugh dies#scarlett johansson x reader#scarlett johansson reader#black widow smut
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so i have been tasked with explaining myself, by multiple people
i'm gonna start by saying that i'm actually a strong swimmer, but this was in the ocean, so i was outmatched from the beginning. my brothers and i were a bit far from shore, just kinda bobbing on the waves. i had a little flotation device tethered to my wrist because i wanted to relax, and leaning on it was easier than treading water. i wound up a little farther out than either of them, which meant i had to face the shore in order to talk to them, instead of looking at the place where all the waves were coming from. my first of two wise decisions.
i happen to turn around midsentence (second wise decision) and a wave breaks directly into my face - immediate lungful of delicious sea water. and my fun little flotation device does the opposite of its job, as it begins to drag me underwater with the wave before the strap breaks and i am left to the whims of physics, unable to orient myself at all. so i'm underwater, trying to cough up even more water (difficult!), still pushed around by the current, only able to tell where the surface is because occasionally the ocean flips me over and my vision turns white.
my first coherent thought is "oh, so that's where up is." my second coherent thought is "WRITE THIS DOWN." i don't have any paper with me, sadly, so i just flail about for a bit while doing my level best to commit the whole thing to memory until the ocean vomits my body onto the shore. my brothers don't know anything is wrong until they see that the strap of my TREACHEROUS TWO-TIMING flotation device snapped, and they follow me to shore where i am able to properly throw up all the saltwater, like a lady. and i am already trying to totter back to our umbrella so i can open the notes app on my phone. 6/10 experience
being a writer leads to a genuinely helpful but also very stupid kind of mindfulness where you'll be having a sobbing breakdown or the worst anxiety attack of your life and think "okay, I really need to pay attention to how this feels. so I can incorporate it into my fanfiction."
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«Chung Myung’s mind drifted, far from the cold of the present, back to the warmth of a summer day in Huayin. Where Tang Bo fell asleep, lazily sprawled on a chair, his head tilted back over the edge of the backrest with a half-empty wine bottle resting on his lap barely held in place by the loose grip of his hands. The sun painted his face in gold, casting a glow over the messy strands of his hair.
The gentle rise and fall of Bo’s chest mirrored the sway of the wind through the trees. Chung Myung had sat there, watching him in silence. His neck would surely be sore when he woke up, but there was something calming in the way Bo lay so still, so utterly at peace.
Chung Myung could still hear the echoes of the countless times he had scolded Bo for letting the wine grow tepid for dozing off while clutching on the bottle for too long. Now, he could almost relish on same wine again, as if he had been drinking it whole from his hands, with his lips grazing on his fingertips, as his own hands cupped Bo's, trying to catch the drops slipping through.
But all that was left to do was hold on to Bo's body, thigh against his chest, his silent sobs had long since ceased. Chung Myung clung to his body as if he could share some of his warmth.»
And yeah, It's done... I'm so done. Although I wish I could say the same thing about my fanfic.
And special thanks to my friends @felixblankspace @victorian-platence for being great friends. ♥️✨♥️
(gracias por soportarme :') )
#return of the mount hua sect#return of the blossoming blade#cheongmyeong#chung myung#tang bo#dangbo#rotbb#rotmhs#my art#Fanfic#There are things I'd like to change about the colors#But everything I tried failed miserably#So this is the best I can do at my current level#Im still proud of myself tho
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day two the lengthening is an act of love
#digital art#mine#my art#fanart#vocal synth#utau#utauloid#michishirube kiro#doodle#i might get expelled from school tomorrow gyahhh#im so sick of this shit#you have no idea how hard im fighting to not print a photo of my headmaster with his mistress and hand it to him tomorrow#but whtaever i will try my best to sort rhis out#i am literally gettin gtold off for doing my school work#its so shit sigh#cries#i need to be in school early to tlak with him too#be ready for me to open coms like#tomorrow#if i do what they tell me i might end up with no grade in one of my 3 subjects#like a complete zero#where as i am currently aiming for an E grade#is that a good grade no#but once i do my work to an E level i can do work to get a C or even an A#however if i do the work for the C level or the A level now it will mean nothing#as you need all the E done and all the C for a C grade#and you need to do all the E work C work and A work for an A grade#but im being forced to do some E work some C work and some A grade work#even though we havent even been set all the E grade work yet#so doing any of the C grade or A grade work right now is pointless
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Took me multiple days, but I have committed an art. It's an illustration for this fic of mine and making it has driven me insane. Anyway, hope you like it because I spent so much time on this just trying to learn the program and getting it to cooperate, aside from just generally not really knowing how to draw things. But honestly I think it came out well! At the very least I learned some things about art which is nice.
#pillars of eternity#art#emblyn#maybe now i will be released from the curse of “can't put tablet down”#my next planned project will be analog again#it's art summer for me i guess#i'm not entirely happy with this thing#like the hair#and the blood splatters could have been better#but i think this is the best i can currently do at my skill level without driving myself actually insane forever#so it'll have to be enough for now
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I wish you the best of healing and that you are assisted by competent doctors who care about you and will ensure you have a good quality of life and lots of life to live. you deserve it (everyone deserves it of course, but specifying 'you' so you know that I believe you are a person whose thoughts and continued literature sparks joy and enriches the world)
also I hope that you are as of this moment doing well or that you will be doing well in the future.
aahhh this is very kind thank you!!!! <3
#batbeato#i'm doing good! things are gradually improving i think#just currently on mandated chilling because i need to keep my adrenaline levels down as best i can#but if the diagnosis everyone is chasing is correct then i'm like one surgical procedure away from being permanently cured#so hopefully i can get back to living life in a really big way after a couple more months!!!
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dude oh my god. sonic forces..................
#OKAY SO I BOUGHT THIS GAME YESTERDAY#that and sonic mania. ive been playing sonic mania most of yesterday afternoon and today. anyways#THE FUCKING.. THE VOICE ACTING. AUGH. OUGH. MY HEART AND SOUL FOR THESE FUCKIN CRITTERS.#i adore the character custom options. currently im playing as a wolf. the outfit pieces r awesome.#i change my outfit like. every other level. i cant pick just one theyre all so neat looking#i also love that u can change ur character's colors after u start. its not locked into ur original choice.#AND THE WEAPON OPTIONS ?????? INCREDIBLE. THEYRE SOOOOO FUCKIN COOL#truthfully i am not a fan of the classic sonic levels. the controls arent my favorite.#BUT i do like the other sonic levels. and the ones where ur both ur own character AND sonic at the same time ???? amazing#sonic t hedgehog is my best friend fuck awffffff we jus vibin we besties now
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the reaction to pecco/casey comparison post made by motogp acc on insta is kinda funny bc so many ppl are like “how dare you compare pecco to casey when pecco has the best bike on the grid and casey rode that garbage ducati” . but what about casey’s 2007 title run guys and how in some ppl’s eyes it wasn’t that legit or something bc of the bike advantage. like obviously comparisons between eras are often pretty pointless and devolve into pointless arguments and circle jerking for your fave guy but…..
lol oh man. here is the post for context
world's most boring discourse generator. the most predictable replies imaginable. did you know that. casey stoner. was very good... and had a bike that was tough to ride? did you know that. did you know the aliens were all very talented? did you know that casey's stats are very impressive? wow. you're telling me now for the first time
when I first saw the tweet, I did immediately go. *sigh* why are you setting pecco up like this. it's obviously interaction bait and, well, it does work every time. the phrasing "has equalled or outscored most of" casey's achievements at ducati is a bit unnecessary but like... god. who cares!! the only place stats like this belong is in spreadsheets proper hardworking fans made themselves to compare random shit for their personal amusement. bring back real fandom
and yeah, listen, I don't even really have the energy to engage with the merits of comparing the two sets of stats... it was a different time. you can say that casey had on average a less dominant bike than pecco did, which would be true - and he only had the clear outright fastest bike in one of his ducati seasons. you can say the level of competition was higher or lower back then, depending on whatever agenda you're pursuing. you can make arguments about when it was easier to rack up wins, given only around six bikes back then were even capable of winning races - something which is only kinda becoming true again now with the superiority of the gp24. you can point to the ducati back then being a considerably harder bike to ride. you can point to pecco's more impressive internal competition, you can point to casey's era having some undeniably pretty decent riders in the mix. you can do all of that. and it's a complete and utter waste of time. the main point of it is to have another bout of wanking about how much worse today's riders are, which, I cannot stress this enough, who cares!! literally. why does it matter. quality of viewing experience isn't directly linked to some imaginary talent-o'-metre, that's just not how sport works. everyone knows casey is one of the biggest talents this sport has ever seen! it is perhaps the single least controversial take in the whole sport. nobody's erasing casey's achievements. thank you to the random instagram user for securing casey stoner's legacy by bashing pecco. we've solved the crisis, guys, wrap it up
anyway, look. pecco's a two time premier class champion. nobody will die if he's mentioned in the same name as casey. people used to try and discredit casey's achievements... eventually the consensus morphed to acknowledge that he was obviously extremely good. once pecco's retired, the same thing will presumably happen to him. nostalgia comes for us all
#all sports interaction bait is. bad.#*hugs knees and rocks back and forth* idc who the goat is idc idc idc idc you will never make me care who the goat is shut upppppp#it is kinda cute how similar their numbers are mind u#who cares which one of them is better. let's discuss to what extent their neuroses match up#'he was an amazing rider whether you agree or not' - valentino rossi in 2013#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#i just never really get the 'well back in the day the level was higher' stuff because... real talk. does it matter#it'd be a problem if you currently had one guy who was just on a different planet to everyone else. but you don't#also the two best eras for racing this century happened when that was the case so honestly even that bit might be negotiable#but as long as it's competitive... like. who cares...? who gives a shit about how objectively 'talented' these guys are#and you can say the racing isn't great. which yes. agreed!! but mate do I have news for you about 2007#admittedly the highs racing-wise were higher in 2007 but the lows were. well#the amount of revisionism you see with this stuff is crazy like the way people talk you'd think the gp7 was a donkey#god if the aliens hadn't averaged a crazy feud rate i'd hate them so much. worst type of sports fandom is wanking to the ueber talented#casey may be my number one girl but i might be the only person on the planet who is a fan of him in the objectively correct way idk#also not to be mean but a lot of the most annoying people defo haven't actually watched many of casey's races lol#current tag#heretic tag
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And what if I redesigned the monk class according to actual wuxia themes and tropes, what then. I simply think monks are cool and can absolutely be redeemed as a class once you take the Orientalism out of it and be a little more thoughtful about what fantasy martial arts are actually like in East Asian stories.
#the valley is posting#i say i'm not going to do this because i have no experience with designing game mechanics and yet...#monks are my favourite d&d class and i want it to be the best it can be#which involves taking out the orientalism and maybe even readjusting the structure so that it's more authentic to wuxia ideas#instead of just being a surface level imitation of martial arts aesthetics#look i don't claim to be a complete expert in wuxia but there's so much depth to martial arts and philosophy#which the monk class as it currently is barely skims the surface level aesthetics of; but it could be so much more#ah fuck; i'm gonna have to do it now; aren't i#obligatory disclaimer that i am in fact chinese and that i don't speak for all east asian people when it comes to d&d monks
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natsume book of friends season 4 opening sequence has got me incredibly fucked up. the lyrics. kid natsume's tiny little legs and teenage natsume watching him run. the lyrics. nyanko-sensei burrowing into his arms. did i mention the lyrics? ending frame on the fujiwara family. including natsume. because he's part of their family. as the lyrics ask him to "please [not] keep suffering alone"? somebody fucking hold me.
#i'm actually almost done with season 4 because i have no self-control. and every time i watch the opening i'm like#no this has only gotten more potent since the last time i watched it. we are reaching danger levels#natsume yuujinchou#natsume's book of friends#my posts#season 4 is the season of tanuma just completely destroying me on every level. why is every single character like this??#every time he learns something about natsume he's like oh so this is what it's like for natsume?#and then it happens again and he's like wait natsume ALSO has THIS OTHER THING to contend with??#and again: AND A THIRD THING?? WHY MUST THE WORLD'S BEST BOY NATSUME TAKASHI SUFFER???#he just wants to help natsume deal with stuff and i am on the fucking floor#his thought process is just#this is hard for natsume. i wish i could help him. maybe here's a way i could help him? he doesn't want me to though because it would#put me in danger. but i don't want him to be in danger either. and i'm telling him that to his face. i don't think it's really#gotten through to him but that's okay i will just keep telling him. now i'm realizing that the thing i did to help him maybe just made#things harder for him. this is hard for natsume. i wish i could help him. maybe sometimes the best way to help him is to just#respect his wishes and yet remind him that he can lean on people and that people love him as much as he loves them#the part where tanuma realized why natsume doesn't tell the fujiwaras about youkai gutted me#this kid is so emotionally astute and such a sweetheart#i just watched the episode where natsume loses his picture of his parents and his old house is getting sold and i cried. SO many tears.#tanuma putting his foot down for once like no actually you need to admit that something is bothering you this time#we can find this picture. ask us to help you do this thing that we can actually do for you. you don't need to be sad for no reason#mmm can't be coherent about it just rest assured it was extremely harmful to me and also exactly what i needed#anyway the season 4 opening song as the thing you say to your younger self who lives inside your current self because#you can't actually go back in time and be the person your younger self needed to have in their life. so all you can do is love that child#in absentia but so so so fiercely and with your whole entire heart#all you can do is give your current self all the love you have for the child you were#jesus CHRIST
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I've just been playing the new cotl update for most of the day and I'm so so close to being done with the main new story bits I think but it's also past midnight but also I'm so excited idk if I'll be able to sleep but also god damn do I need to sleep
#rat rambles#and I know I wont have long to play when I wake up tomorrow since my friends will probably wanna continue our dont starve save#and I wanna too which is why I wont say no if they do but also aghhhhhh#Ill be able to finish it once they have to go to bed but thats so long Ill have to wait 😔#anyways I saved kalamar for last since hes the hardest originally but based off my current load out I think Ill be fine#aka literally every other bishop died in seconds due to my bomb demon being over level 30 lol#Im so glad they seem to scale further now its soooooo funny walking into a room with a boss and just watching them immediately explode#also Ive been using the golden fleece more and its been going pretty well#I got up to over 500% damage one run that was cool#Ive barely been touching the heavy attacks tho but tbf thats partially cause of keyboard mapping#Ive been having so so much fun with this update tho even if Im not a huge fan of a few aspects#this has brought so much more life to the combat portion to the game for me I havent had this much fun with the combat in a while#I do still need to collect all the rellics tho Im working on it#I also feel like I should buy all the new cards but man. none of them seem very appealing to me tbh#that is one of my big problems with cotl in general getting new cards can make it harder to get the more fun or useful ones#most of the actually useful cards are the base ones or ones given to you mostly for free#everything else is mildy useful or at least fun at best and actively useless at worst#like. ooo drop ichor on hit. wow. honestly give me deaths door at that point like jesus
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it’s so strange how many people think i am like an open book about my life? because i feel like that mostly comes from me telling people extremely mild (imo) information and them taking it as a large confession. and like yes i have vaguely alluded to some heavier stuff but it’s like. i don’t know i wish people didn’t go around thinking oh mare doesn’t shut up about her trauma when it’s like the vast majority of events in my life i have never been able to fully tell anyone who wasn’t my therapist and likely never will be able to do that again.
#nightmare.personal#i just wish i could talk about my first relationship#i really do. because it explains so much about me#but it's like. the best ways to explain it are ways that don't really capture it or are too vague#i hate self pity and i do it so often and i know that it's selfish but it's like#i just. there's nobody i can tell?#because i don't trust people who say you can tell me anything because i know there are limits#and if a situation is bad enough for me to have a psychotic break for the first time in my life then i would say like#probably not conversation i can easily make over discord dms you know?#and yeah having my therapist know is cool. if any of the others were around then they would know and that helped a lot#like klav really did help. it hurt but having him there to talk about it or think about it made it easier#but now it's like. god i hate saying this but i wonder if my partner or ex maybe resent? me for it?#because they don't understand it but they must recognize on some level it ruined me#God. i am not going to impulse text my ex about this i WON'T but like.#i just wish people understood because God it's so fucking lonely#with only half the context people jump to conclusions and pick a good and bad one and it was never that#it was a situation that never should have happened#and i can't even tell people the origins of it because i know for a FACT my current friends online or irl would resent me for it#because i tried to play God. and it didn't work.#maybe I do text my ex i don't know. the living one not the one in this relationship i'm talking about lol.#but nobody is ever going to fucking understand it. nobody can absolve me of guilt because nobody knows what i did wrong#and nobody can blame me correctly because nobody knows what they had done#not even them
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I'm not sure that naming gymnastics as the antithesis to sports with "ghettoized leagues for the frail and delicate" where traits more common in cis men give you an inherent advantage is quite the W you think it is, mate
crazy that in the 1970s they were like, "fine, women can play sports. but because they're innately less athletic than men, only in a special ghettoized League For The Frail And Delicate where they get paid less 😊". And not only is that still the system in 2023, but viciously lashing out at the smallest challenges to that system gets framed as Feminist Praxis
#gymnastics doesn't just have a separate league for men and women - men's gymnastics and women's gymnastics are separate sports#with different events and completely different rules#on the planes where they are comparable the men are lightyears ahead#the hardest floor skill in women's gym is a tuck triple twisting double & there are like three female gymnasts in the WORLD who can do that#men's has the same skill in a layout position (harder) as well as two variations on the (much harder) triple back#uneven bars has similar skills to MAG high bar but high bar has an entire class of releases (Kovacs type skills) that no woman has attempte#simone's yurchenko pike double back that dropped so many jaws in WAG is a 5.6 DV in MAG; their hardest vaults are 6.0#if you want a sport where men and women compete on an equal playing field and the women actually win a lot of the time#the first one that comes to my mind is equestrian#although even that one is a Good Question because like#the grassroots base of equestrian is OVERWHELMINGLY female but the elite levels of the sport have a far more equal balance#making you wonder what the limiting factor is that keeps that overwhelming female proportion from making it into the upper echelons too#i do not mean this in a transphobic/gender essentialist/men and women should be separated way#I compete gymnastics in a league that allows co-ed competition in both the ''men's'' and ''women's'' disciplines and I have a lot of fun#what I mean is that the best paradigm here is not a settled question and may actually lie outside of any model that's currently common#(for example co-ed teams which must play a certain number of men AND a certain number of women at all times)#gymnastics
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For a sec I thought Hoover might be a young Apple snail because he is much bigger than I assumed a mystery snail would be, and upon Googling, I learned two important things:
1. Mystery snails can grow to be quite large! Their foot can sometimes get to be 3” long if you do it right!
2. Aquatic animals are just… Hard to keep. Lots of people report having their snails for a disheartening amount of time. But a bunch of them also decide to get right back on that damn horse because snails are AMAZING little critters and we want to figure out how to do it RIGHT 💪 That just makes me feel so much better about my failure with little Bullet…
#i am absolutely enamored with the little shits#i just like watching them go#some people are weird about it though i guess?#my family has a difficult time understanding why i care so deeply about animals that cost $4 apiece#like GURL idk how much they COST#are they not deserving of this level of appreciation? do they not deserve the best life i can give them??#is it so awful that i would pay so much more for the privilege of watching their little mouths mouth and their antennae wave in the current?
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ok note to self: hours+ of drawing 2 days in a row is not your wrists' favorite thing, maybe take this into account when entering the Vision-Inspired Art Fugue State next time
#this post brought to you by#the sound my wrist just made when i rolled it around to stretch#like i knew it was going to pop it always makes a sound#just not normally nearly-gunshot levels#well i say that#but i do in fact mean it for my wrists specifically yes they're loud but they're not like that!#that's normally reserved for my hips!#anyway it feels significantly better now so whatever it was the loud pop fixed it#the wrist situation (the wristuation if you will) probably not helped by the painting activity we participated in last night with the fambl#cause of all the wrist needed to use a paintbrush#but! i had a good time and that's the important part#i also had fun with the drawing thing that was divinely inspired (heh) (iykyk) (it's a dragon age reference) (now yk)#it just also took a lot longer than punkins on a wooden coffin did#cause that was pretty quick which now that i'm thinking about it was definitely a good thing because it means less time using the paintbrus#which i'll reiterate probably did no good things for my wrist#the downside to all of this - mind - is that i am currently battling needing to get back into the art fugue state#there's stuff i wanna fix with the thing it's not *quite* done-done but like it was done enough to say ''i gotta stop'' about it#so like i desperately wanna get back and make it the Best It Could Be#and *also* am having New Visions and want to practice techniques so i can best accomplish those but like#i *gotta* let my wrist rest#and also i'm trying to avoid burning out on art so i can keep up with it consistently again#wml lol
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i had a good day i like having things to do but unfortunately i have just remembered i am insane</3
#currently. in this moment#currently i can't stand the enorrrrmous gap between what i recognize as good writing + how committed i am to improving the skill#(not very) (i am not committed i have never committed or honed any skill as it's a very vulnerable position to put yourself in)#(or let me rephrase that i feel unusually insecure and existentially threatened when i have to start from zero and make mistakes)#(which is basically all of life. so it's abnormal i know it is. but it's where i am right now and i'm not climbing out of this one anytime#soon)#so listen i didn't sign up for this. i don't even want this really and i double triple quadruple don't want rules and advice and#indirect criticism. the latter no one at all on planet earth can avoid bc every sentiment and opinion expressed can reflect on you in a way#where was i what gap. right so i am not actually disciplined or motivated to learn/discover/get better at creating something#so that's the gap‚ i know what i should be trying to do or what i should want or what i should strive for. i know why. i see i hear#i understand#it's just that‚ i am aware that psychologically that is not in my best interest#like long-term it is but in actuality it isn't. d'you know what i mean?#but i have my compulsions. and those don't care they operate on a different level#so there is a bit of an opposition. so what happens‚ and this is the important part‚ what happens is i do it and i feel bad.#unless i close my eyes and ears. and i feel bad right now#and i'm bummed#and then i question everything and wonder why i'm alive#and i said insane because if i didn't have compulsions and obsessions? if i lived a real tactile present life. day to day and only cared#about how i can improve my life and the lives of others. and how i can become useful#directly. if i was someone who could access that. then i wouldn't have this problem#i know this sounds like “if i was different i would be different which would be good”. and that is exactly what i'm saying yeah#so this is my journal entry for today. i felt good when i was doing something simple for 9 hours and then i 🧠made myself feel bad#kata.txt
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