#Slapped Ham Mysteries

[geezerwench]

The Green Children of Woolpit

[shodo-sai]

The Chilling Exorcism of Anneliese Michel

[coryosbaby]

Alternative Payment <3

♡ content warning! Mdni, 18+ , innocent! Reader, manipulation, dark! Coryo

The guards of the cage are too easy to impress. As Coriolanus zig zags his way to the exhibit, he catches sight of you at the farthest corner. Your back is against a nearby rock, your eyes wide open unlike the other Victors. When you see him, you scramble to the bars. He smirks, watching your doe eyes look up at him through fluttering lashes.

“Did you bring food?” You ask your mentor desperately. Coriolanus nods, reaching into his bag to pull out a bottle of water and a sandwich made of wheat bread and ham. You take it, and begin to nibble on the sandwich eagerly. Coriolanus watches with something quite unclear in his gaze.

“Have they fed you at all?” He asks.

You shake your head, wiping bread crumbs off the corner of your plump lips.

“No. They didn’t give us water, either,” you explain, and begin to open the bottle that was graciously gifted to you. “Thank you, Coryo!”

Oh, so sweet. A girl with manners. Coryo looks back at the other victors. They’re all heavy sleepers.

When you finish up the sandwich, you chug the rest of the water down and hand the empty bottle back to him. He puts it back into his bag. You wipe your mouth, looking up at him with an almost happy grin on your face.

So innocent.

“Mmm..” Coryo takes in the sight of your pretty face, caked in dirt and twigs and god knows what else, and something twitches in his pants. “Got you something else, too. For my favorite victor.”

“Really?” Your eyes shine with curiosity. “What is it?”

Coryo chuckles. His fingers reach through the bars and smooth back your hair.

“Close your eyes.”

Your brows furrow, but you obey. As your lids flutter shut, you hear the sound of something clacking together.

“If you’re good and do what I say,” Coryo continues. “Then I’ll give you something else to eat. Okay?”

“Okay..” you say innocently, the grumbling of your tummy ever so prominent.

You jump. Something wet and warm touches your lips, and you hear Coryo let out a shaky sigh.

“Open up,” he breathes. “And don’t bite.”

Confusion riddles your face, but you obey simultaneously. The thought of food is heavy on your mind.

When the mysterious, meaty thing slides onto your tongue, your taste buds explode with something musky and salty. You hear coryo let out a whine, and the thing moves farther to the back of your throat. Your tongue brushes over it curiously, and Coryo lets out the loudest moan. Fear courses through you at the thought of the other victors waking up and seeing that your mentor is giving you something extra, but you swallow it down— sort of like the way you swallow down this mysterious wet thing in your mouth.

“God,” Coryo heaves. “Such a pretty little face.”

The thing in your mouth moves out, then back in again roughly. You let out a gag, your eyes welling with tears. You lave over the tip of the thing when it’s pulled back out onto your tongue again. Something slaps against your chin each time that it presses flush against your lips.

“Fuck,” Coryo says from above you. “Open those eyes f’me. Cmon, don’t you wanna see your present?”

You do want to see what’s inside your mouth, so with fluttering eyelids you obey.

It’s hard to see at first. You vision blurs, then clears. Coryo is above you, as you can see through the bars.And the thing in your mouth is…

Attached to him?

Okay, so you know basic anatomy. You know what it is— only, you don’t know exactly what it’s used for. Your eyes widen, seeing the look of bliss on his handsome face, the way his big hands grip each side of the prison bars like his life depends on it. He’s thrusting his hips into your mouth— that thing, a cock, as you heard the boys in your district call it, is slamming against your throat at a rapid pace. Looking up, Coryo’s eyes connect to yours and he laughs. It’s unsettling, a tiny giggle in the back of his throat, and you can’t help but feel something. Tingling, perhaps. In the same spot on you that Coryo’s cock is connected to.

“Suck it like a lollipop.”

Coryo’s words make you mewl, the remembrance of sugary sweets making your stomach swirl.

“Oh, honey,” Coryo continues, as you begin to lave over his aching cockhead. “Y’want one of those, don’t you? I’ll give you one, a special little treat. Tomorrow, before the games.”

You want to cry, just from the thought of a cherry flavored lollipop. You suckle him, just like the boy had asked, desperate to please him and get your stomach full. It isn’t long before his hips are stuttering, abs tensing, and his mouth is letting out quiet degradations.

“Dirty girl. Yeah, ‘m gonna cum. Gonna fill up that little tummy, baby.”

He demands that you pull off, let him move his hand up and down his shaft while your tongue lolls out. When his cum hits your taste buds, you let out a whimper. Not that good tasting, but not bad, either. However, the spot in between your legs begins to tingle more— and hurt. God, it hurts, and you can’t stop squirming to try and get relief. Looking back, you pray that no one had saw your endeavor with your handsome mentor.

When he tucks himself back into his pants, you’re still waiting impatiently.

“Sir?” You question Coryo softly. “Can I have something else to eat, now?”

Another unsettling giggle.

“Silly girl,” he says. “You already did.”

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

I'll love you most

a/n a part two to can you love me most.

warnings: fighting, predatory behavior, blood

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The shadow singer didn't make a big fuss about that interaction for the rest of the day. First of all, he told himself that it was nothing. And second of all, regardless of the outcome of his words, he persisted in trying to convince himself that he didn't care. However, the harsh reality slapped him in the face when, the moment he returned to the chambers, he didn't find you sitting at the dining table that was now full of food. Azriel sat down in his usual spot. Fork and knife in hand, he was ready to serve himself some of the ham that had captured his interest. But he stopped for a while, glancing at the clock on the wall. There were still ten minutes left until the usual time you two dined. But time passed, and there was not a sign of you, not a single sound that would alert him of your presence in the main space.

His shadows had informed him that you were indeed in your room, which only added to the mystery of why you hadn't shown up. So Azriel waited. Then we waited some more until the steam had died down and the food had gone partially cold. Standing up swiftly as he crossed the room. Knocking gently, he murmured, "Can I come in?" No answer. He would have just walked in, but the moment his hand slipped on the handle, pushing it down, he was met with a stiff halt. It was locked. Some of his shadows crawled up his back. Mad. Frustrated. Azriel frowned. Has someone upset you? Or was your mood like that because of him? Regardless he snarled, "You're behaving like a child right now, come eat", but nothing changed, his lips fined out into a tight line, "Fine, starve yourself for all I care". Turning away, he walked back to the table. Some of his shadows were still lingering by your door, but one glare from their master had them crawling back.

You knew being upset over this was silly. Surely the possibility of someone like Azriel returning your feelings was low, but you couldn't help it. Couldn't help but hope that the ache was mutual. You thought you had read the signs correctly. He seemed to ease up in your company. He... You bit down on your lip hard. You weren't going to shed another tear over him. You've wept enough already. Now there was mostly embarrassment that you had blurred it all out like that. As a result, you locked yourself in your room. You didn't want to face him. You knew you wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes. Starve yourself for all I care. Those words still echo in your mind as you lay awake. Your heart had skipped a beat when he had come to fetch you for dinner, but then, just like before, it was thrown against a wall and shattered into a million pieces. But one thing he was mistaken about. You weren't a little girl; he was trying to paint you as, and two could play a game like this.

The next morning, Azriel had awoken rather late. The night was restless, and even if he was a fan of an early morning rise, he simply couldn't drag himself out of bed. That, and the fact that this may increase the likelihood of him bumping into you. It was odd, but he found himself missing your company. The way you rolled your eyes at him, the way you twirled your hair around your finger, the way your eyes would glimmer when he would give in and tell you a story or two. Azriel realized how dull and lonely his life was before you. How empty and cold this place was before you stepped your foot into it.

He was ready to try and apologize over breakfast. The spymaster never stayed long enough for you two to have one together. Even if it painted him to get out of bed, especially if you slept next to him. Those were the only mornings he would debate going to the training ring. Even more so if you were pressed to his side ever so slightly, your skin grazing his. So delicate and unharmed by the brutality of this world. So little and his to protect. Yet Azriel found himself doubting that you'd ever feel safe enough in his company. He told himself that this was temporary. Once the fear wore off, you weren't going to seek him out again. No one would, and he wasn't one for cuddles or loving gestures, so he'd peel himself off of you every morning with a heavy heart. Yet his plans were ruined the moment he stepped into the main room. The flowers he had given you, along with the book of battle art, adorned the box that held any non-food-related garbage. A bitter sheen painted his face as he tightened his jaw. No, he was not going to let this affect him.

Silence. The weapon you two chose was silence. Accompanied by Azriel, who had only come to sleep in the rooms. You didn't see him for days, only catching glimpses of his shadow at times. You had asked some of the servants to move your stuff somewhere else; the idea of staying in the same place with the time that passed only twisted your guts more. But when you walked to what was supposed to be your new room, you found it empty. Frowning, you turned to the elderly woman that accompanied you almost everywhere. "The spymaster gave the order to bring it all back," and you felt a wave of anger rushing through you. How dare he make decisions for you? He said that you were free to do as you wished. So you returned the favor. The moment you saw that he wasn't back yet, you snuck into his office, throwing things around here and there. Kicking piles of documents.

"What on gods green earth are you doing?" the voice roared, making you instantly stop in your tracks. Azriel stood in the middle of the door, his eyes filled with wrath as he looked at the mess. If this had happened before everything, you would have most definitely been a puddle by now. But not now. You were too worked up and angry with him. So you reached for a globe on the side of his desk before tossing it at the spymaster.

Azriel caught it with ease, before chucking it aside as he made his way to you. You glared at him with all the fury you could manage to find within. And you would have crossed your arms over your chest if not for Azriel, who caught them by the wrist, pinning them above your head. You let out a frustrated scream as you tried to get out of his grip, but that only made the spymaster grin. "Wipe that smug smile off your face, you dick," you yanked at his grip again before attempting to lift your leg and kick him. But that only got you fully pinned under him as he pressed himself closer to you. Your heartbeat picked up, and you hoped that your cheeks weren't all flushed.

"You're the one acting like a maniac, love," you grunted at that, "Says the male who dragged my stuff back here. Has it hurt your pride much?" Azriel cocked his head to the side, his other hand reaching out to caress your cheek, but you quickly turned away. Azriel let go of you right away. You turned away like that... As if he was the most heinous man you'd ever met. "I do not wish to live with you here", "I'm not letting you move elsewhere," Azriel said firmly, as he kneeled to pick some of the things up, turning his back to you. "Why not, you're not here anyway? What would I be missing?", him. You would be missing him. Missing him way more than you had the past couple of days. Because here, even if Azriel wasn't present, his scent was, and in a way that soothed you. "Go back to your room," he stated, "Putting me in time out?", you bit back, kicking something in your way. "You can walk yourself, or I'll drag you there," he said, shaking your hand you watched as he created new piles of documents.

"What is your problem, Azriel? Everything was fine, and then you just...", you weren't sure how to describe it. In the same way that you had no clue what had happened to your brother, you didn't know what had happened to Azriel. Azriel, who had carried you to his bed after that bath. Who played with your hair as he watched you slowly fall asleep. "The kiss wasn't to your liking?", you pushed, "You don't understand." The shadow singer's voice was way calmer now, yet he still didn't face you. That irritated you even more because it appeared to you that he was ignoring the obvious.

"No, I don't understand because I don't know what happened," you said as you approached him, stepping in front of him and ripping the paper from his hands. "I like you," he murmured. And it was bad; it was so wrong, but you let out a laugh. Not to mock him. Simply because you just couldn't wrap your head around it all, "Oh, really." Shaking your head, you tried to meet his gaze, "I do", "Prove it then because so far I don't see it."

Azriel let out a shaky breath. But not a single word left his mouth. You silently begged for something, anything. The smallest sign to prove his words. But nothing. "I can't," he muttered, and you only nodded your head. Turning around, you darted for your room before pulling your cloak over your shoulders and stuffing some random pieces into the first bag that you found.

"What are you doing?", Azriel asked, but you just moved around him ignoring his presence, "Love", "No", you turned to him the moment the sweet nickname filled the room. "I don't want to live in constant pain. I rather go home, and I will be doing just that," you said sharply. Azriel opened his mouth, but you pointed your finger at him and said, "Have a happy life being alone and miserable." Pushing past him, you walked towards the door before slamming it shut as you walked into the hallway. You stopped for a moment. Stopped hoping that he was going to walk after you. that he was going to put up a fight to make sure you stayed. But nothing. Not even your sad, pleading glance toward the door made any difference. So you walked away.

Roaming unfamiliar streets weren't how you imagined your evening to go. Reality soon caught up with you. You had no plan. You hardly had any money, and the last place you would go was summer. You'd rather rot in a gutter here than go back to all of those liars. The late hours didn't help your case of finding a shelter for the night since every room was already taken. Most of the city was breathtaking, and you envied yourself for sitting in the house all of those days. Not even once going out to explore the beauty of Velaris. It was the side streets you shouldn't have gone down. But the lady at the last tavern suggested you check out this shelter since they had a higher likelihood of having an extra place. Something ran past the side of the street you were walking on, kicking tiny rocks on the pavement as they went making you jump up in the process. You had a feeling that you shouldn't be here. Had a feeling that someone was watching. Making a sharp turn left, just as the lady told you, you saw the light blue roofing of the shelter home. A slight smile painted your lips now.

But that didn't last long as two males walked out from different sides of the street, blocking your way. You didn't give them much thought as you turned around, only to find two more men in your path. "Well, well, well, who do we have here?", one buzzed, rubbing his palms together, "A rare beauty. Where are you heading towards? The whorehouse?" The other approached you, picking a handful of your hair and sniffing it. You swallowed sharply. Eyes darting from one male to another as you thought about a potential escape route. "I can give you money," you muttered. You couldn't help yourself as the slightest shaking took over your body. "We'll take that as payment for showing you a good time," your eyes widened. Oh, gods, you were going to meet your end here. Why did you have to be so stupid? Why did you have to leave? You could just sit there in a pretty home and worry about nothing. Maybe unhappy, but at least not surrounded by creeps.

"Do you know who my husband is?", the male in the middle raised his brows at you, clicking his tongue, "Let's hear it", "He's the spymaster of this court," all four of them looked at each other, and for a split second, you thought they were going to back away, but they only burst out laughing. Making you shake your head as you tried to prove to them that you were not lying. "And I'm the general of bloodshed," one of them chuckled as he leaned against the wall. You tried to move past them but were roughly dragged back by your hair as one of the males embraced you from the back. "If you like it, you can call me your spymaster, sweet cheeks," he said. You cringed at the nickname as his rough finger ran over your cheeks. The other male walked in front of you, hands moving to grip the front folds of your dress, saying, "Let's see what we have underneath."

But before he could pull the material apart, all the lanterns illuminating the street went out as the darkness swirled around the alley. The males didn't let go of you as they began to curse. Urging each other to move elsewhere, but then one of them let out a sharp cry. You could hardly make out what was happening. Only your hearing lets you make out some sort of picture of the predator who had shown up. There were nails dug into the pavement, scratches, and some pleading. The male holding you took off running, but soon it was his blood-chilling cries that filled the empty streets. You moved further into the alley corner, holding onto the wall behind you. You wondered if that creature was out for blood. Was it just here to kill everyone? That would mean that you were next. Then a cold breeze darted around your hands, and you couldn't help but let out a high-pitched yell, trying to shake the strange sensation away. "It's me," the voice murmured, a shiver running down your back. Two strong arms wrapped themselves around your middle, and you were about to scream for your life again as the familiar scent filled your nostrils.

You let out a quiet breath of relief as your eyes slowly made out the figure in the dark. Azriel. Your mind seemed to sing, and you instantly pushed into his chest even further. Your trembling hands gripped him as tightly as they could. The lights went back on, and your gaze fell upon the man in front of you. Hands coming to cover your mouth to hold back a wince as you saw his blood-covered face. You tried to look past his shoulder to see behind his back, but Azriel gripped your shoulders firmly and said, "Don't look there." Your eyes darted back to him as you nodded your head. "Did they hurt you?", the spymaster asked firmly, as if he was examining his captive.

You couldn't bring yourself to speak as a sickly feeling bubbled within your stomach, and at the sight of his bloody arms gripping your forearms, you quickly turned to the side before emptying your stomach. Azriel moved to hold your hair away from your face, but once his drenched hands came in contact with your white hair, he practically jumped back. This was his biggest fear. You. You being put in situations like this. You being tainted by his sinister baggage. He quickly ripped the material from one of the dead bodies that lay there, wiping his hands clean. As he retreated to you, he was at least as clean as he could be.

"Can I bring you back?", Azriel tried to keep his emotions at bay now. He had slipped up, and well, there was no going back. "Why did you kill them?", you mumbled quietly, looking at the bodies. Azriel spread his wings, covering your view, "What do you mean, why? They were going to harm you", "You don't care..." Azriel closed his eyes for a moment, fighting the battle inside him. "I...," he stared, but his voice cracked and his hands quickly came to cover his face. "Why not let me...?", "Don't you finish that sentence?", he was right in front of you in the blink of an eye. "You were put in danger because of me way too many times already. I can't... I can't let you live a life like that willingly," Azriel said, his voice raw with emotion as you stared at him, still trembling. "None of this was your fault," you tried to reassure him, but he shook his head. "I don't do love, okay? I've never loved. I...", he said, and you found yourself reaching for him. Moving closer so that you could rest your palms on his chest.

"I'm not afraid of you. You're afraid of yourself," you said, "I bring death to people's doorsteps, love. I torture; I break people apart." Azriel had felt this unknown pull towards you ever since he first saw you. Ever since you took a breath of air in the same room as him. One touch from you made him forget his biggest problems. It was you who cleared his mind. "That's fine; we can learn to build things rather than break them," you declared, placing your palm on his chest as you turned his face towards you. "You, I shouldn't be holding you now", "Too bad, I want you to hold me", you gave him a sad smile before bringing him closer into your embrace. 

"You have to forgive me for being stiff with my words," he muttered into your chest, and you only hummed. "That's what five hundred years of living does to you," Azriel chuckled as he turned to face you. His own palms cupped your face as he leaned his forehead on yours. "I promise to try and be better. For you. To show you that I care", "And I promise to love you for who you are. Just let me in, husband." Azriel leaned forward, gently brushing his lips over yours, "I could get used to you calling me that," and you snorted, gently hitting his chest, "Take me home, husband."

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All acotar writing: @brekkershadowsinger @cityofidek @baebeepeach @lucyysthings @hideing @urfavbrunettebish @historygeekqueen @marina468 @96jnie

[rottenpumpkin13]

*gives Sephiroth a joke book* Go crazy sweetie

Sephiroth: Zack, what do you call an old snowman?

Zack: I know this one! A snow elder?

Sephiroth: No. Water.

Zack:

-

Sephiroth: Genesis, knock knock.

Genesis: Who's there? Not your mother.

*Sephiroth violently slaps him with the book*

-

Sephiroth: Angeal, what do you call a typo on a headstone?

Angeal: A tragedy befallen upon a deceased person who has no control over their grave, and a grieving family who is already suffering with the loss of a loved one.

Sephiroth:

Angeal: What do you call a person who jokes about gravestones?

Sephiroth: A grave mistake.

-

*Sephiroth calls Lazard's office*

Lazard: Lazard speaking.

Sephiroth: Is your refrigerator running?

Lazard: The one in the break room? It's not running, but the shelves are all broken because I work with someone by the name of Zackary Fair who thinks the fridge can hold a capacity of thirty honey-glazed hams.

Sephiroth: ....then you better go catch it.

-

*Sephiroth walks up to Infantryman Cloud and holds out a pear*

Sephiroth: Shall I give you dis pear?

Cloud:

Sephiroth: Do you understand? It's a play on words of despair.

Cloud:

*Cloud pulls an orange out of his pocket and offers it to Sephiroth*

Cloud: Orange you glad this isn't a dumbapple?

Sephiroth: !?

-

Sephiroth: Let's try this again. Knock knock.

Genesis, sighing: Who's there?

Sephiroth: Interrupting SOLDIER who vexes everyone with repetitive poetry.

Genesis: Interrupti—

Sephiroth: Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess. We seek it thus and take to the—

Genesis: YEAH YEAH I GOT IT.

[mixed-up-metaphors]

I think the people should know. What are the Top Five Cool Things about each of your hyperfixations, and why should we play them?

*cracks knuckles* Metaphor: ReFantazio (i haven't actually finished this one so consider this an incomplete list)

FOUND FAMILY ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!

YOU CAN COOK WITH YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!

heismay is the sad old man adopts lost children trope and i will die on this hill

medieval rapping (see Pringus McDingus' video)

highly breakable. imagine giving the iron wall of your team healing skills

Why You Should Play It: can't speak for the plot as i haven't finished it but overall very enjoyable experience thus far. i like almost all the characters a lot, which is rare for me. several of them have surprised me. also fun gameplay!!

Persona Five (Royal)

ASETHETIC. SLAPS

MUSIC. SLAPS (beneath the mask and the songs for the spoiler royal dungeon live rent free in my mind, among others)

yusuke.

i want to hug. All of them (ryuji :( )

FOUND FAMILY!!!

Why You Should Play It:

found family team of traumatized misfits go on adventures and also stop some corrupt people along the way. i especially love the base final boss (yabbadabbadoo?), the preceding cutscenes, and its trope inversion. there are also...certain plot twists, especially in Royal's DLC that were a fantastic gut punch.

Persona Four (Golden)

some of the story's later arcs took a steel chair to my emotions and went ham. (the seventh dungeon especially)

a seven year old somehow manages to found family someone who is already biologically related to her as a cousin into being her older brother. How. What is this power.

i love some of the more ominous, melancholy or somber tracks in this game (favorite examples include this one, this one, and ESPECIALLY this one)

the whole ost slaps for that matter, heartbeat heartbreak hhnNghhHG

this one's found family to me too and i will also die on this hill (excepting maybe Kanji and Naoto my beloved, i do ship them a little)

Why You Should Play It: same reasons as P5(R) but murder mystery this time. characters feel a bit more interconnected than P5's, and i found the plot and storyline very impactful and meaningful. also, you can fight people with household items such as a guitar, a steel chair, fish, corn on the cob, a tambourine, roller skates. by contrast, there is exactly one character who uses almost exclusively actual weapons and placing said character amidst the household item wielding ones makes for some very funny disparity.

(i have yet to play persona 3 reload but it is next on my list and i predict it is going to be my favorite of the persona games. stay tuned lol)

FE:3H

i think all of the story's paths have a unique perspective and i enjoyed all of them (though i can't speak for SS, never played it). i admit readily though that AM will forever be my favorite as i find it deals most directly with themes like loss, regret/shame/guilt, forgiveness and facing the past, which are all favorite themes of mine.

i want to protect and adopt every character in this game forever

all of the games i've listed thus far have fantastic voice acting but 3H especially stands out to me in this department. i could go on for a while on this one.

YOU CAN COOK MEALS WITH YOUR STUDENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BONDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

INTER-CHARACTER SUPPORTS!!!!!!!!!! I CAN WATCH MY BELOVED GOOFY GOOBERS DO SILLY THINGS WITH EACH OTHER!!! or watch them cry with each other but hey i mean tomato tomahto

Why You Should Play It: admittedly, i don't think this is really the reason most people enjoy the game, but i personally loved going through the game like it was my solemn duty to protect and care for every student i was teaching. recruiting them read as a matter of life and death to me so i approached it with a certain ferocity. 3H is sort of an RPG/5D-Rock-Paper-Scissors-Chess/Optional Dating Sim(??) so there's probably something for everyone. i ESPECIALLY love relationships between all the characters, Caspar/Linhardt, Raphael/Ignatz and Dimitri/Dedue/Ashe are easily my favorites but there are so so many others to enjoy here too. also you can class characters as something that is wildly unfitting for them. SHOULD Hubert be a brawler? probably not, given that the man has the physical strength of a soggy napkin, but you can train him to do so!!

i think that about sums it up!! thank u maude for the question!!

[styrmwb]

Favorite Final Fantasy Music (FFI)

I've had this idea for a minute but have Struggled to start it so HAHA we're finally doing it Final Fantasy music is Really good and I want to share my favorite songs so I'm just gonna go by game and list like my top 5 FFI was hard to pick cause there's not a lot of songs? Also I wasn't sure if I wanted to exclude certain songs because they became series mainstays but i decided I don't care and if it stands out to me I'm doing it Linking the PS remake versions cause those are the easiest to find 5. Temple of Chaos Mysterious......... I like the melody in this one :) I think I like the original NES version more cause it sounds like, super heroic and final like you're a party of 4 warriors who traveled back in time to go kill the final evil (almost like you are???? wooooow) 4. Mount Gulg This is absolutely a case of I like this song more because of how it's used in later games (have you heard mythril mines from chocobo racing????? SLAPS) and again this is a fun melody; I like this PS version cause of the flutes it sounds like a volcano (I will not elaborate) 3. Final Battle Kill Chaos. This song is one of two reasons why I used the PS OST cause it exists there first, but my personal favorite version of this is the PR version cause of the guitars and drums in that one (i am a sucker for Rock Instruments), I think the beginning of this song is cool cause it has that evil build up vibe, then the little bit of piano, then GOES HAM; it rocks 2. Miniboss Battle I definitely attribute part of me liking this to DFFOO cause it's Garland's BT theme, but this is like, peak FFI music to me, this is what I think of when i think of FFI. I can picture in my mind Garland and the Warrior of Light battling it out relentlessly, swords swinging wildly and clashing; I am not going to continue to try to paint a picture because I cannot but I hope the vibe is created in your mind's eye too. This is the other PS OST original song, and again, I think the PR version is the best version because of its super loud orchestral hits. (I wish I could find an upload of it cause I'd use that instead) 1. Opening Theme You might be asking, Styrm, why did you say the miniboss theme was peak FFI music and then not put it at #1? Because I'm a Bitch and the opening theme that becomes the main theme of the whole series makes me cry like an idiot every time I hear it. Uematsu was COOKING when he made this. I'm probably not going to put this in future lists but this is the time where I say how good this song is; FFXI, XV, and XVI also have Really good versions of it. I'm sure there's some music theory term for notes that emotion you harder than others, whatever it is, this song does that (I am shit at writing and explaining but I like this song aaaaaaa)

[zombiequeenblog]

So I've only seen a few things with Vincent Price, but your posts and tags always really make me want to watch more! Which movies of his would you recommend the most?

Oh, I'm so glad! I am quite a new fan girlie of his, there are others here who know way more about him than I do, like the lovely @ilovemesomevincentprice of course!

The more I learn about him the more I absolutely adore him, and though I haven't seen all of his work yet what I have seen has been absolutely delightful!

Dragonwyck (1946) black and white period drama based on the novel which is very good as well. Every farm girl's dream of marrying a handsome and wealthy landowner and going to live in his manor in 19th century New York. Vinny is so very dashing, and not quite the hero (that sneer!) and there is a beautiful ballroom dancing scene out on the balcony. The Cardinal catches Mouse reading this novel on his bed in sadglo after the disastrous dinner party lol.

House on Haunted Hill (1959) black and white horror film. Campy, creepy, and fun, with a very sexy dysfunctional marriage, and some delicious hair-pulling. There is a 1999 remake where Geoffrey Rush plays a hammed up version of Vincent Price which is also worth a cheesy watch, though it can't hold a candle to the original. Also, how do I become a cigarette?

Tales of Terror (1962) horror trilogy based on tales from Edgar Allan Poe. Some incestous vibes, comedy, and beautiful ladies swooning in terror. In my favourite tale, there is a star of a black cat and Vinny as a delightful wine taster, and lover (almost Terzo-esque). Also a horrible wtf dream sequence lol.

The Haunted Palace (1963) horror film with wonderful Poe and Lovecraftian vibes. I just want to live there with him, in his candle-lit mansion. And be assaulted in my bed in the middle of the night. I think I deserve that.

Twice-Told Tales (1963) another horror anthology, based on the works of Nathaniel Hawthorne (he wrote The Scarlet Letter). More incestous vibes, blood, and Vinny throwing a pretty lady to the ground! He literally slaps in this film, I don't know if he's ever been more handsome.

The Comedy of Terrors (1964) horror comedy film which is an absolute delight! So good. Vinny is an absolute jerk in this, a real dick, a bastard, yet somehow you can't help but love him! Another cat (orange this time), Vinny in a waistcoat, and sexy strangulation.

The Masque of the Red Death (1964) horror film with more Poe vibes. Vinny is very Cardinal in this, he plays a literal satanist! What I would give to be taken up to his castle, and persuaded to share in his unholy faith! So much sexual tension here, it's maddening.

The Great Mouse Detective (1986) I had to include this animated mystery adventure sherlock film because it was one of my favs as a little girl and I didn't even know that Vinny voiced the villain! A rat, no less! In a black suit and cape! There is also a cat, lol. Vinny performs two songs in this, and he's delightful, I just love it!

Vincent was so talented, and seemed to impart a sensual depth to every villain, making them much more interesting than any hero could ever be. He is so very Cardinal Copia-esque, in his looks and in his mannerisms, so my love for him just feels natural. A wonderful man, who played wonderful characters flawlessly!

Sic transit gloria mundi.

[kyndaris]

Gothic September Moods

So, the strangest thing happened when I went to a Big W (a store akin to Kmart here in Australia) back in September. As I was looking for more Lego to add to my possible collection, I couldn't help but notice certain decorations already out on display. It was so horrifying, I had to express my outrage to a few of my friends in our shared Discord group. I mean, it was only September!

I had wanted someone to come over and slap me to make sure it was all a horrid dream.

No, it wasn't the fact there were pumpkins, skeletons, witches and memorabilia from The Nightmare Before Christmas. In fact, I gladly welcome the infiltration of Halloween to Australia's shores - although I wish it could have arrived when I was a lot younger and could go out trick or treating.

No. It was CHRISTMAS decorations! Who in their right mind would start putting out Christmas decorations in SEPTEMBER? BEFORE EVEN HALLOWEEN HAS COME AND GONE?

It makes no sense!

It's sheer insanity!

And so, to celebrate this horrific event, Game Master and I took the opportunity to go watch a fitting film: The Haunting of Venice starring the likes of Michelle Yeoh and Kenneth Branagh as everyone's favourite Belgium detective (because, as we all know from the previous post, the best and most awesome detective in the world is one Sherlock Holmes).

Initially, of course, Game Master and I had intended to go grab some Lego brick burgers. Unfortunately, there were only available on select weekends. A novelty concept that would have been fun to try but, alas, Game Master works weekends and didn't really have time to spare.

As such, we enacted plan B! Go out and enjoy a night at the movies watching Kenneth Branagh ham it up with his terrible accent (it's debatable if he or Daniel Craig is the worst of the two), and try to solve the murder before movie came to a close.

To my shame, I didn't quite 'solve' it so much as remark how odd that the mother was never truly interrogated as much as the other possible suspects. And the odd push about finding a pot of honey in a linen closet. Truly, such strange details that if I'd bothered to put my thinking cap on would have led me to the actual solution.

In my defence, I was being creeped out by the voices of young girls giggling (which was great sound-mixing by the way because I, initially, didn't think it was from the movie itself but me hearing strange things). So, props to A Haunting in Venice for making even me doubt my own sanity even as I jumped at the occasional predictable jump scare.

Still, even with the movie, Game Master and I did stop by for some quick Japanese food. While I still felt we could have tried a slightly fancier restaurant for some quality grub, Game Master was keen to return to his university roots and go back to an old restaurant that provided some decent food for a fraction of the cost.

While I didn't want to begrudge him something comfortable, we were on a DATE. You would think that we might try something a little bit better than just a $10 meal.

Yes, I know the cost of living sucks, what with high interest rates (and as someone with a mortgage, I feel this terribly), and some sticky inflation, and I shouldn't be complaining but it only hammered home how differing views on a proper night out. It's almost like going out to McDonalds even though the both of us make a semi-livable wage.

We aren't poor broke students anymore. We can afford to treat ourselves a little!

But that may be because I wanted to try out some desserts from DOPA.

What can I say? I've a sweet tooth.

After the film was over, Game Master and I chatted for a while as we waited for my train. Given that it was a Thursday and a few of the shops were still open, we checked out a few toys and Game Master (much like the second date) bought himself a Gacha toy. Whether or not he considers it a souvenir of our time together is a mystery. What I do know is that he very much likes to collect quite a few featuring cats.

And so, my third date with Game Master came to an end.

Was it a good one?

It was decent. We didn't end up getting dessert (which I would have preferred) but I still enjoyed my time as we chatted about the economy. I provided a few solid ideas to Game Master on possible social media promotion for his workplace and he also ran through a few of his hopes for his future career.

But the real question, of course, is whether I can see a relationship between the two of us. And I feel like the answer is a no? We could be friends but I don't really feel anything romantic would sprout.

Who knows. Maybe I need to give it some time.

After all, they do say it takes 200 hours of regular contact to make a stranger into a good friend. So, maybe that's just it.

As I've said before, I'm not someone that would readily jump someone's bones. And the thought that I'm out here, looking for love, only makes the search harder and more fraught.

Still, on the plus side, I gave Game Master a new franchise to love: The Hercule Poirot films. He'd only ever heard of them before but he seems to have fallen in love with the whodunnit formula. So, yay for introducing a fellow to the art of deduction?

On a completely unrelated note, I CUT MY HAIR! I paid $70 and now my long hair is GONE!

It's now short! And I've got to get used to that fact! Even as I keep doing things that would make sense for a person with long hair, like trying to pull it out when I slip on a shirt or whipping my head forward so I can dry my long locks (which no longer exist!).

Dear readers, pray for this humble blogger as she mourns for her long lost hair.

That is all. That is the only real reason you should ever read this blog. Gaming? Psh. Dating life? Boorrring! Hair shenanigans. Yes. That's exactly what I know you guys are here for!

[letsgethaunted]

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Episode Eight: Staircase in The Woods Phenomenon Photodump

Image 1: Stairs in pop culture - Harry Potter, Psycho Image 2: Stairs in pop culture - The Conjuring, Titanic Image 3: The Winchester Mystery House with stairs to nowhere Image 4: Oil painting of Jacob’s ladder c. 1490 Image 5: Photos of stairs found in national parks Image 6: More photos of stairs found in national parks Image 7: More photos of stairs found in national parks Image 8: Video clip from youtube channel Slapped Ham Image 9: Video clip from youtube channel Slapped Ham Image 10: Missing 411 documentary poster

[thegenxorcist]

The Pensacola Sea Monster

On 24th March 1962, five teenagers from Florida set out on a daring skin diving expedition to explore a shipwreck. Sadly, only one made it back alive...

Slapped Ham Mysteries

[geezerwench]

The Eerie History of Halloween

[doingproblematicmedia]

Velma Last Eps

Got my emotional support snacks:

I gotta hand it to the writers, they did this mystery better than BBC Sherlock.

That might be a low bar, but they did clear it.

Most of the background info needed for the mystery had been set up in previous episodes, and there were only a few more elements introduced to solve things. These last two eps were not boring, there were a fair few twists that work for keeping viewers on their toes, and it was wrapped up pretty well, while leaving plenty for a second season (oh G-d help) to explore.

Some character development did happen in the end, even if it was in an extremely messy and sudden way. You could understand how the characters got to their current points. It was - sudden. The characters were almost exactly the same way as they were halfway thru the series - then all of a sudden, hey! Look! Development! They haven’t turned into good people, or even people resembling their classic counterparts, but they did change, and character conflicts were set up for the second season.

One thing that didn’t change at all in these last eps? The writers doing really ham-fisted social commentary in character monologues. The ‘rich white man privilege’ actually did have a bit of plot relevance in the end, but it was still about as subtle as getting slapped in the face with a disembodied brain. 

I want to take ‘snide quip about social issues’ out of these writers’ toolbox. It would make a better show for it. These things bog down the pace, they make the audience cringe, and they land so poorly. Like, yeah, Charlie Grandy, we get it, you’re a self-aware white guy.

One thing I am glad about tho: Velma has treated her friends like shit this entire show. And she does wind up suffering consequences for it! Norville leaves her, and we get the feeling Daphne’s reached a breaking point. It woulda been cool for these consequences to have come sooner. These characters are fucking martyrs for putting up with Velma. If consequences had come for her earlier in the show, we might’ve had more time for character growth earlier on. One of the biggest problem that reviewers have had is that Velma honestly sucks to spend time with. It might’ve helped a lot if this had been acknowledged more and she had been given more moments that hint to future growth. 

Honestly Velma does make me sad. I could see myself enjoying this series a lot. There’s a ton of potential, and it’s been wasted. The problems are all in the writing room. And I don’t know if the reviews from this season will inspire them to make change, but it would be incredible if that happened.

Not holding my breath though. Because the problems we see with this show are problems of extreme arrogance. Which, as ironically demonstrated through the show’s villains, is not the kind of thing that changes when confronted with its own folly.

[properslappedham]

Scary Mysteries Cleverly Solved by Reddit

When Reddit does more in depth work than the police... 🤔

[chakytron]

Mysterious Videos That'll Freak You Out

Mysterious Videos That'll Freak You Out

Mysterious Videos That'll Freak You Out Category Education Description: From a mysterious video of the infamous shadow person known as the hat man to a doorbell camera that has captured a ghostly voice, we look at mysterious … TopTrengingTV Hunting the most trend video of the moment, every hour every day 24/7. Youtube Video Data Published At: 2021-01-30T18:00:16Z   Tags:  [‘toptrendingtv’,…

[rukunas]

Hola my unholy mind is very dangerous⚠️BEWAREEE⚠️

ANYWAYSS. Can you do levi ackerman as a stripper and works at a really popular bar. And one day his gf goes to vist him while he's working and teases him blah blah blah next thing you know they end up fucking in the VIP room and levi is going fucking HAM on his gf to the point of where levi is screaming and his gf is trying not to pass out.

(Maybe add some anal u dont have to if u dont want to I'm just being unholy rn :'D)

ANON I READ THIS ASK WRONG AND MADE THE READER A STRIPPER, IM SO SORRY !!! i didn’t feel like rewriting it but i hope u still enjoy it 🥺

warnings: smut, stripper!reader, alcohol consumption, anal plug

You notice his eyes on you all night.

Levi rarely comes to your bar— only a couple times has he decided to watch you do your work, lounged in the same chair by himself with a glass of whiskey in the other. The dim lighting of the room emphasizes the mystery surrounding him, the strobe lights occasionally glinting the deep greys and blues of his irises.

His attention makes you gain a bit of confidence, you gripping the pole and swaying your hips in his direction to give him a show. The sounds of the other men whistling and calling out vulgar things goes in one ear and out the other, you being used to all of this.

But Levi most definitely is not, his fingers clenching around his glass, molars grinding down each other. He is well-aware of your job— honestly, he has absolutely no problem with how you make a living— but he’s a jealous man. His will is tested every single time he walks into your bar and sees your breasts spilling over your top, other men drooling over the sight. Every primal instinct inside him tells him to kill anyone who lusts over you. He wants to mark you up as his, take his claim so that all of these other men stay away from you.

But although Levi may be a jealous man, he is also a very patient man.

You notice how he gets up, making his way to the counter. Does he want another drink? You’re almost done your shift anyway, might as well join him.

Finishing your routine, you teeter off on your tall heels to the back room, where you can change into your more practical clothes. Your boss stops you on your way.

“Private room two,” he grunts.

“But my shift just ended!”

You protest, but he simply hands you a wad of cash that makes you shut up instantly. Wow. These were not the little $1 bills that usually make up your salary. Crisp, green Benjamin Franklins smirk up at you as if flaunting their price, there were probably a good fifty of them in the stack.

“That’s in advance from your client. Still gonna complain?”

Biting your lip, you head towards room two, praying that Levi won’t be as pissed as usual when finding out you had a booked client.

You wobble on your shoes when you open the door to see him sitting on the chair like a king on a throne.

“What are you doing?”

Levi doesn’t respond, simply watching as you walk over to him and sit in his lap with your legs straddling his thighs.

“Wanted you to give me a show,” he mumbles before biting down at your shoulder. You hiss, but throw your head back so that he has better access.

Somehow the “show” ends up with your ass in the air and his cock pulsing against your mushy walls, a jeweled plug pushed into your asshole, your thin thong shoved between your lips.

“So fucking wet— did all those men watching turn you on?” His fingers pinch at your clit, and you wail as another gush of arousal soaks his dick. “Messy slut.”

“M’all yours! Your slut!” You whine when he pushes in the plug deeper inside you. Levi likes you this way, your holes all filled because of him, he’s in control, just how he likes it.

“Mine, ha? You sure? Shaking your ass for everyone but saying that your mine?” He’s relentless, slapping at one cheek and then the other for emphasis. The rings on his fingers add to the sting, but it amplifies your pleasure, the pain redirecting all attention to your clit.

The makeshift gag can’t hold back your screams. “Yours, yours, yours!” His pace quickens, the room filling with the sounds of your squelching cunny, his grunts, and your muffled moans. Nothing prepares you for your orgasm, so strong and sudden that your entire body convulses at the intensity.

“Atta girl.” Levi hisses when he feels your walls flutter around him, stuttering the movement of his hips as he fills you up, painting your insides white. He leans down to kiss your temples, smirking at your gasp when his soft cock brushes that ridge inside you.

“All fucked out for me?”

You nod— can’t even form the words to talk. Your brain is empty, just like it always is after Levi fucks you long and hard.

It’s quite a shame you don’t see the cruel grin Levi has when he sees your exhausted expression, a shame that you haven’t yet noticed that his cock hardened inside you once again, a shame that Levi hasn’t yet broken a sweat.

He whispers in your ear, “I booked this room for 3 hours, I’d like to get my money’s worth.”

Who knows whether you will survive.

*evil laughter*