#Sirius just doesn’t realize that there are different types of love

[chasingthestarss]

Sirius loving Remus was very hard. Because he wanted to give Remus everything he had and it felt like betraying James, who had always been there for him. And Sirius never felt that way for James ever, but still loving another one of his friends felt like betraying James.

Regulus watching Sirius’ guilt and hating that Sirius could feel bad for loving someone more than he loved James but not feel guilty for loving James as a brother more than he loved Regulus

[asmo-d3us]

Marauders Era characters as Teachers

Professor (James) Potter - P.E. Teacher

Is definitely the type of PE teacher who pushes the boys to their limits and goes gentle with the girls.

This is until Regulus tells him to stop this habit and treat them the same way bc it isn’t fair.

The girls + Sirius, Barty, and Remus all voice their opinions on this and tell James he’s being an idiot and he’s being sexist and this seems to snap him back into reality.

He’s so gullible and it’s so easy for everyone to lie to him. If it’s time to run, you can approach him and say that you’re on your period and he’d immediately allow you to sit down.

He’d offer you pads, comfort, heating blanket, etc. (he has these things for Regulus). It’s kind of funny because you can literally be a man and still use a period as an excuse and he would still believe you because he’d think you’re trans or smth.

When he’s walking through the halls, he’s usually always accompanied by one of his friends, or Regulus. Students find him hot bc of his figure since he is a PE teacher.

Professor (Sirius) Lupin - Foreign Language (French) Teacher

He likes teaching this because he’s fluent in French and it means he doesn’t have to do shit he just lounges around all day in his desk, calling Professor Lupin whenever he pleases.

Is the type of teacher to start talking, realize no one is listening, and sit down on top of a desk and cross his arms like, “Alright! I’ll wait!”

When he speaks French he sounds hot so the girls (and some boys) in the class start giggling amongst themselves.

Will ignore students he doesn’t like if they raise their hand. Will also always welcome teachers in to his classroom on the daily; Remus, Lily, Regulus, James, etc. shit, even barty and evan.

Wears rings and jewelry, shows off his tattoos, and wears very seductive clothes like see-through shirts with a scratchy material, yk? Students giggle often times bc Remus usually spits out his coffee when Mr. Sirius Lupin enters his classroom oh-so suddenly.

Professor (Remus) Lupin - The Science Teacher

This man teaches physics, biology, chemistry, botany, physical science, geology, you name it.

Students flirt with him and he's just fucking oblivious and thinks they're just being kind. Sirius witnesses this one time and he death glares at the child, who then starts crying.

The type of teacher that offers tutoring after school even though Sirius planned a date with him. Sometimes it feels like he values teaching more than Siri and instead of being upset about it, it just makes Sirius love him more.

He has a slim figure and veiny yet also big hands and people ogle at him without shame in the halls. Sirius growls at them so they look away and Remus just thinks he’s acting weird like always.

The type of teacher to take away your phone if he sees you using it during class. Sirius doesn’t do this cause he’s chill, and James wants to do it but he’s scared to do it, lmao.

Professor Pettigrew - Home Economics Teacher

He’s the short, chubby and single home ec teacher and it’s just perfect.

He’s amazing at cooking and his class is usually a class for queer people and making people who are ‘different’ feel like they belong there.

Some students (usually those who aren’t in home ec) don’t like him and make fun of him because of his weight and him being single and always left out, and it always gets to his head and he starts lashing out and distancing himself from his friends because of it.

Will not take away anyone’s phone, nor will he tell them to put it away. This is home economics, there are no rules! (Other than reading instructions obviously..)

When walking in the halls, he catches the eyes of many students that either love him or hate him, no in-between. Some students wonder why any one of the teachers hangs out with him and it affects him really badly.

Professor (Lily) Macdonald - World/Popular Literature (English) Teacher

Her and Regulus are best buds. They always make their classes do projects together just so they hang out.

Has a section of the room that has things kids might not have at home like pads, tampons, deodorant, socks, etc.

She runs the library alongside Pandora, and occasionally Remus + Regulus.

Some students ship her and James together. That is until they find out Regulus is actually married to James and Lily’s last name is actually Evans before she married Mary.

She’s the teacher that students approach during passing period just to talk to her cause she’s badass and cool. She’s kind of like the counselor of the school, she’s always there for free therapy.

Professor (Mary) Macdonald - Business Law/Management Teacher

Idk she just seems like she’d be a smart ass abt the topic.

Would feel like she’s Einstein and she’s teaching kids smth amazing but none of them give a shit or they’re just crying silently in the corner bc wtf.

Always wears suits to school so she seems very formal and modest and Lily is on her knees every damn time.

The type of teacher to take your phone away and send it to the principles office on the first warning.

Always visits Lily’s classroom to give her her lunch so she eats and isn’t tired and pale by the end of the day.

When seen in the halls, students admire her bc they want to be like her or bc she’s drop dead beautiful.

Professor (Marlene) Meadows - (Computer Science) Animation & Video Game Development Teacher

I feel like she’d just enjoy the fact that it has games included in the job, and bc it’s technology.

She would act like she’s teaching but she’s actually bullying little kids on Roblox.

Every single student knows that Dorcas is married to her bc they aren’t ashamed to show their love for each other. The students actually look up to their love and value their worth so much to the point where they don’t fall for horrible people (I think some of us need that).

She doesn’t take phones away and if she does, she always gives it back and gives them a second chance.

When seen in the hallways, she usually receives high-fives and fist bumps from the students. She thinks it’s because she’s an amazing teacher but it’s actually bc she’s so absorbed in her video games during class that she doesn’t notice the kids on their phones and AirPods.

Professor (Dorcas) Meadows - She actually teaches two different types of classes: all types of Visual Arts, and multiple types of Vocational Education

She has so much knowledge about art and wood making and design so you know for a fact that her outfits devour every damn day.

The ‘cool’ and ‘chill’ teacher.

Gives the best advice to students, alongside Pandora ofc.

Explains everything strictly yet with a matching side of fun, and the students either enjoy her classes or don’t mind it bc it’s easily taught and it’s not hard to understand.

When seen in the halls or around school, the students usually ask her for advice on smth or abt class and she’s always there to help. She’s usually always followed around by Marlene at these times so it’s quite cute to see.

Professor Black - The Performing Arts (Music Theory & Piano) teacher, accompanied by The Math (Statistics & Calculus) Teacher

This suits so perfectly omg wait I’m having a fangirling moment-

Whenever he teaches the piano he sometimes gets carried away and starts inventing his own music?? Many students always tell him to write his own songs and he always bashfully declines.

Him being the math teacher can sometimes be overwhelming but if he notices that you are struggling pretty badly to the point where you might have a mental breakdown, he’ll give you some tutoring or some advice that really helps.

Always brings snacks to school for James since he forgets to eat.

Is always around Professors Barty and Evan. Is never seen without one of those two.

Students don’t really approach him in the halls since they’re kind of intimidated?..but some of them wave and say hi! One brave soul gave Reg a fist bump and he didn’t react at all to it so people began doing it to him 😭.

Professor (Barty) Rosier - The Dance Teacher & sometimes joins Professor James during PE..

Oh lord..💀

This man teaches any and every dance. Ballet? Yes! Hip-hop? Of course! Latin? Sure! (He also has a side job of a stripper! Evan both loves this and hates it.)

When he assists James during PE, it’s always just him flirting with the fellow Professor and James just being an embarrassed and flustered dude.

Evan sometimes watches Barty dance and teach students because he looks so passionate and free when doing so, and it’s really the only time he ever shows affection to other kids (other than their own)

When girls see him in the halls they faint, and when boys see them in the halls they’re filled with awe.

Professor (Evan) Rosier - Teaches AP classes + English (Poetry & World Literature)

He’s just a smartass. Being a smartass is his (and regulus’) favorite thing.

He’s the only teacher who teaches AP classes in the whole marauders era.

Him and Pandora are VERY intelligent and capable of going SO far.

When teaching AP, he is serious and strict. When teaching English, he is humorous and playful.

Always visits Barty in passing periods/free periods and just admires him if he has class (when students see this they always melt from the affection), or walks with him around the garden the school has.

The kids usually give him fist bumps and high-fives, some of them ask for hugs. He’s not a big fan of hugs but ever since having kids and being friends with the marauders, things have…changed.

Professor (Pandora) Lovegood - Teaches Chemistry & Social Studies (Psychology, Cultural Anthropology, Sociology, and Women’s Studies).

She’s so amazing. I love her.

The chemistry one is obvious I mean it’s literally her cause of death.

She teaches Social Studies bc she claims it’s the other half of Evan since he teaches English and it just..works.

Their classrooms are right next to each other so the door between both is always open and they always teach both classes together, it’s so fun. Evan effortlessly continues Pandora’s Social Studies/Chemistry lesson if she’s using the bathroom and vice versa.

She always gives out crystals and spiritual items to her students (if they’re okay with it), usually when she senses bad energy or negative vibes.

Also the type of teacher that students approach during passing period and stuff bc she’s so nice and adorable and the best to talk to.

She runs the library with Lily, and occasionally Reg + Remus. She also gets mixed up quite often with her twin brother. The only thing different between them being Evan’s short hair, and Pandora’s motherly voice.

[chaoticmultifandom28]

Headcanon #9

No matter who James and Sirius are in a romantic relationship with, James puts Sirius first and Sirius puts James first.

At first, it was hard for Regulus because of his insecurities of being the ‘spare’ or ‘second choice’ but James and him had a conversation about it and came to an accord, that while Sirius was first, James would immediately inform Regulus what he could about the situation. And James would also figure Regulus into decisions.

Regulus also agreed with this because Pandora is to Regulus what Sirius is to James. So he understands, after the initial time it happened that James put Sirius first (and regulus was mad), that sometimes there’s relationships that are more powerful and deep than romantic relationships. He realizes that just because James puts Sirius first, it doesn’t mean James loves Regulus any less, it’s just a different type and just as strong as the love James has for regulus.

But this only works after Sirius and Regulus reconcile, the initial time it happened they hadn’t reconciled and Regulus broke up with James. But he saw how miserable James was and Sirius also saw it and came to Regulus and helped them get back together and this started the black brothers reconciliation. Because both boys want to see James happy and being the sun, and they were not going to be the ones to put that light out

[delicris]

ohhh, bolts and nuts! a very curious title, i'm intrigued 👀

BOLTS AND NUTS MY BABY

wolfstar, explicit, CZECH REMUS

this one is a modern au that takes place in my home country czechia!! it's a v bittersweet story of many first and last times. a lot of czech culture and references to it, i took the title itself from a czech song called šrouby a matice. the whole thing is written retrospectively (and from remus' pov), which is a choice i made to show that the story has already been told and there is nothing u can do to change it... right?

some of the tags include: gasps AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, slice of life, trans sirius black and comfort (a huge motif, i love writing about different types of comfort and the additional feelings it brings)

THE PINTEREST BOARD HAS ALMOST 600 PINS AND I AM SO PROUD OF IT

aaand a lil snippet for u. featuring remus's gay panic and sirius acting out a train:

“Oh, um… I’m sorry? I don’t speak a word of Czech and I do realize that’s like one of the rudest fucking things ever — I can’t even say ‘thank you’, how did I think I was going to do this? Anyways, point is… You speak any English?”

Now it’s Remus’s turn to stare because one, it’s too early for this, as we’ve established a billion and one times before, and two, how the fuck did he watch this guy and didn’t catch the English swearing… And before he can even properly blink his shock away, the stranger is talking yet again.

“Fuck, okay… I,” he starts, fumbling a little and pointing at himself, “ticket, um… fuck. Train, uh… shoo shoo,” he tries to vocalize and act out a train. And Remus just fucking loses it, laughing so earnestly, surprising both the man in front of him and himself as he brings the attention of the entire three other people who are standing at the station with them towards the two of them. He doesn’t mind it a single bit and chokes out: “I know English, but now I wish I kept that going for a little longer.” Which might be a rude thing to say to someone you’ve met literally seconds ago, but he can’t bring himself to care all that much as he tries to catch his breath and regain at least some leftover dignity. And, to his delight, this whole thing actually makes the guy in front of him laugh. Oh, he’s so fucking beautiful.

Now he can make out the finer details of… everything. His earrings are stacked on both of his ears, a mix of silver and gold which is present in every piece of jewellery he’s wearing. Under the leather jacket is hiding a flowy white shirt with way too many buttons opened, making room for the chest tattoos — all in all, Remus is fucked. But he can’t let himself get embarrassed, so as soon as the man starts talking, he stops staring like a kid in a candy store.

“Now that you’re done laughing at my piss poor attempts at acting out a train,” he starts, tone playful and a smile spreading across his cheeks, “I’d really appreciate if you’d help me out with this fucking thing. Need to buy a ticket to Budapest and this fucker isn’t doing its job.”

[resident-gay-bitch]

My prongsfoot hc is actually really simple. They were each others first kiss, for practicing of course. But with the time they realize it's more than just platonic or brotherly love. James realizes first, bc he grew up in a loving household and when he is in love he is the all or nothing type of guy. Sirius on the other hand never really knew true love until he found it with James first. He's already overwhelmed by being loved as he is platonically. So he takes more time to figure out that this love literally could reach another level. I don't really know how they realize and how they confess, but what I know is, that nothing really changes. From all characters of the fandom Sirius and James are the ones with true soulmate potential. I could imagine that when one realizes and he confesses it's like 'fuck, I don't know what to do, we can talk about everything, but I can't talk about this, bc it's about you and it's killing me bc I don't know how to act around you anymore' but when it's reciprocated it just happens like it never was different.

I dunno this might be really lame and average thought but I love them so much.

And it's not that they are the one and only ship for me. I'm as well into wolfstar or Jegulus. U know ship them all idc. But they are really special and true to me. And normal! For me they are just normal u know? Like what I love about the thought of prongsfoot in a romantic way or when I read fics about them is that when they finally figure out they're more to each other than friends or chosen family, they act so natural. Like nothing about kissing each other the first time or whatever is strange to them. It's new, yes. And of course they are hell of excited, bc when you're in love you can't stop your body from reacting to those feelings. But it just feels right. And once they took the first step they just fall with it. When they make their first experiences they can laugh bc they don't really know what to do and they can say it out loud without hesitation and it doesn't ruin the mood bc they're still James and Sirius. And I love the thought that these two blokes have the most healthy relationship ever. They know each other better than they know themselves, they observe each other, they accept each others flaws like 'I know you are like that sometimes and you have issues with this or that but I've got you. Take your time and I'm here.' and they would also be like 'I already know that but thank you for telling me that I'm an assohle sometimes. I will work on that and you already made a better person of me.' when they struggle with anything, like each others bad habits they would do anything to make it work out bc neither of them could ever imagine being without each other.

THIS!!! EXACTLY THIS!!! I AGREE WITH YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOSH!!!

yess it’s just like nothing even changes. I think I responded to my last ask with a head cannon so much like this that I love. Like it just kinda flows, there’s no awkwardness or big changes they need to adjust too. It’s not even weird for the people around them because they’re still exactly the same they just get to kiss now!

They’re so special to me too. I love them so much. Like I love wolfstar and Jily and jeggy and like so many other ships too, I’m big on rarepares and that as well, but prongsfoot is so deer to me (see what I did there?!). I love them so much, and it’s probably the demisexual in me but FUCK I ADORE THEM IN EVERY ASPECT!

It is not really lame and average, thank you so much for sharing anon because I completely agree. I love that we share that headcannon! <3

The only difference for me is that I think sirius recognises his feelings first. As you said, James was raised with love and is very deeply immersed in all that good crap that it just doesn’t even occur to him really. He just knows he loves sirius as a super close best friend and doesn’t put any more thought into that. He’d do anything for sirius, but his parents taught him that you feel similar ways for anyone you love so why would it be different? He just remains oblivious for a while.

But Sirius? It drives him crazy. He notices immediately because what the fuck how is he in love with his best friend and also a boy?! The thought has him so anxious but whenever James is near he just looses all anxieties and melts into him. James doesn’t take long to figure it out, I imagine Peter or Remus or someone would make a teasing remark about his crush on Sirius or something and he’d be like OH!!!

I do love how you perceive it though, and it definitely makes so much sense. Them in anyway makes so much sense to me :)

[lumosinlove]

Vaincre

part iii

cw: brief, non-graphic mention of injury and medical assistance

~

September

Only blue talk and love

Remember

How we knew love was here to stay

Summer hadn’t truly felt over until Remus saw Regulus standing in the airport, bags checked for New York and backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Well,” Regulus said, shifting a little between his feet. “Here goes.”

Remus laughed. “It’s going to be amazing, Reg.”

“Maybe. Hopefully.”

“It will,” Sirius said. “But if you need anything we’re…what? A four hour drive?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah, you can call.”

Regulus huffed out a laugh. “You two sound like worried parents.”

Sirius laughed, too. “I’m just glad we know what those sound like now.”

Regulus’ expression shifted, tightening. He nodded, seemed to hang in hesitation for a moment, and then walked forward two steps and threw his arms around Sirius. Sirius froze, too, with his hands in his pockets, and then wrapped his little brother up tight.

“It’s not your fault, you know,” Remus heard Regulus murmur softly. “I don’t really think you left me there. With them.”

Sirius made an indistinguishable sound, and Remus took a step back, giving them space and not sure if he was fighting tears or a smile. He used to just think about how he could kill Sirius and Regulus’ parents if he had the chance, but now, seeing how far the brothers had come, he wasn’t sure they were worth the time at all.

“Come home sometimes, okay?” Sirius said. “D’accord?”

“Ouais,” Regulus said.

They pulled apart slowly, both a little bright-eyed. Sirius laughed wetly, wiping his face.

“And make good friends.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow. “I think that’s supposed to be good choices.”

Sirius reached out for Remus’ hand. “Good friends are good choices.”

“Ah,” Regulus hitched his pack farther up his shoulder. “Of course.”

“Call when you get there, too,” Remus cut in. “My mom would definitely want me to say that.”

Regulus waved them off. “Okay, that’s enough parenting. I’m going now.”

Sirius held Remus’ hand tight as they watched Regulus go through security and then disappear with a wave, sliding his headphones on. He let out a long, unsteady breath.

“Merde.”

“Love ya,” Remus smiled, reaching up to wipe a tear from Sirius’ cheek.

Sirius glanced down at him. “He’s going to be fine.”

“He is,” Remus nodded.

“He forgives me.”

“No,” Remus said. “He told you that you never did anything wrong.”

Sirius let out another tearful laugh, sniffing. “Right. You’re right.”

Remus pushed up on his toes to kiss his cheek. “Wanna get dinner?”

“Ouais. That sounds perfect.”

They wandered the summer soft streets, cooled by the evening and by approaching September. Remus was torn between being ready to let summer go, and never wanting it to end at the same time.

~

It’s good to hear a packed Hogwarts Stadium again, huh, Dean? Even if just for a preseason game against our New York Rangers neighbors.

Right, Lee? I love this post-summer feeling, and I know our Lions do, too. Especially excited to see what our new talent has to offer. This’ll be fan’s first glimpse at Lupin and Reyes, our two…well, I suppose rookie wouldn’t be quite as perfect a word for Lupin as it is for Reyes. We’re used to Lupin’s face around here, huh.

That we are. Not used to seeing what is rumored to be some very quick feet on him, though. As far as testing went, that is.

Right, the bike test. As well as strength. Who knows. This could be building up to a very interesting season.

Remus stared up at the TV mounted on the wall as he peddled slowly on the stationary bike, keeping his legs warm. He felt bizarre, and had been dodging any type of media to avoid having to talk about it. He was dreading post-game. Every time he tried to think of something to say, his mind went blank.

I’m happy to be here.

I never thought I would be here.

The other half of his brain was trying to compute that it wouldn’t just be the preseason, practice scrimmages he was used to. It wouldn’t just been his team, his friends, out there. Not that it would be a full fledged game, either. No one looked to crushing blows during a preseason game. It was about getting warm. Remus was thankful for it. He didn’t know how he was going to feel when he put his jersey on. When he stepped out onto the ice. He had been nervous enough for the fitness testing.

“You’re literally the fastest guy here,” Finn had said after he’d gotten off of the bike—with the highest score. It had made him feel better, but he knew he wouldn’t really be settled until until coach called his name from the line card.

“Loops,” Logan said, swinging onto the bike beside him. “I keep running into you.”

Remus smiled. “Looks like we having similar warm-up routines.”

“Apparemment,” Logan nodded, turning up the resistance. “Nervous?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah. I am.”

Logan nodded, but stayed quiet and Remus was thankful. Everyone tried to talk him out of it, Sirius included, and he loved them for that, but at the same time, this was nice, too.

“Me too, sort of,” Logan said, and they traded a smile before looking back up at the Gryffindor pre-game show.

“All right,” Coach Arthur Weasley clapped his hands and gestured to the side of the room where the assistant coaches and staff were standing. The whole locker room was flooded with energy of all kinds—nervous, excited—and it flowed through those not in uniform, too. “We all know Moody. We all know our coaches. Mason, Alexandra, and Dan. We all know our PTs—should I say new PTs—“ there were some laughs. “Lars and Layla.”

“Double-Ls,” Thomas whooped.

Layla gave two thumbs up, and Lars remained stoic, arms crossed. He hadn’t said much since arriving aside from the occasional wise-cracking joke delivered without a trace of a smile.

“Who’s captain serious now, eh?” Thomas leaned in to whisper, and Remus suppressed a smile, glancing at Sirius—who was wearing an almost equally focused expression on his face, completely still where he sat a few stalls down, past Thomas and James. Remus glanced around the locker room, down the crescent-shaped row. Kasey and Leo, on opposite ends, were both geared up. Finn and Leo were sharing AirPods. Remus knew Kasey had worked hard over the summer, rehabbing his thigh, strengthening and increasing flexibility. He knew Leo was happy to be his back-up, but part of him wondered what Leo thought about all the games he had played in the play-offs, only to be placed right back on the bench now. It happened to a lot of guys—some were called up for injury, only to be sent right back down to the farm team when injuries healed. But Remus thought it was different for goalies. He hoped Coach wouldn’t leave Leo sitting on the bench for too long.

“Who’s calling first line?” Coach asked, and held the card out to Sirius. “Cap?”

Remus didn’t realize until the cheers broke out that he could be loud with the rest of them, and gave his stall a few bangs as Sirius rose, hat keeping his hair back. His eyes found Remus’ briefly once had turned towards them with the card, and Remus’ breath caught at his beaming grin.

“Okay, boys, first line,” Sirius said. “We’ve got Pots.”

Clap.

“Tremzy.”

Thomas drum-rolled his stall.

Sirius smiled. “Myself.”

Finn put two fingers in his mouth and whistled.

“And on D, Olli and Timmy.”

While the boys burst into chatter again, Remus watched Sirius hand the card back to Coach, and caught his eye again, raising an eyebrow. Sirius held up Thomas’ number, and Jackson’s. Remus nodded to himself. That could be the third or fourth line, and he’d played well with both of them in scrimmages. It made sense. He could work with that.

And it meant he’d get to watch Sirius out there. At least that wouldn’t change.

“All right,” Coach laughed, putting his glasses back on and turning towards the other coaches. “Get dressed, get dressed.”

Remus had sat in his stall quite a few times by now. For his promo-pictures at the beginning of the summer—the first time he had slipped his jersey on, too, right over his suit and tie. But sitting in it now, strapping his pads over his bare chest before a game, a game where he would be up against other NHL players…that was different.

“You’re one of those?” Thomas snorted, flicking Remus’ bare ribs. “Doesn’t the velcro scratch?”

Remus laughed. “Can’t break old habits.”

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “Or is now the perfect time to make new ones.”

“Not after a year like the last,” Remus said.

“Oh,” Thomas whistled, yanking the laces of his skates tight. “You’re that superstitious.”

“I try not to be,” Remus stood. “But playing again…seems to bring it out in me.”

Remus turned to step into his pants, adjusting the pads and his jock until everything fit together comfortably. He eyed his jersey, the number six hanging proudly on a hanger, and he smiled to himself but turned to his skates next. The jersey sent his heart leaping into his throat. He’d save it for last.

“Let’s go boys,” Pascal called, standing by the door to bump fists and pat helmets on their way out.

Remus laced up his skates, pulling them tight over his taped up socks, and then, finally, removed his jersey from its hook. He didn’t waste time staring down at it. That would just make him overthink and, hopefully, he’d have many times to put this jersey on again.

It slid over his shoulder pads, he tucked in the back, and grabbed his helmet.

“I like that Loops is just over there grinning to himself,” Finn snorted as he left for the tunnel.

Remus shrugged, eyes finding Sirius. He already looked like his mind was on the ice, even for such a low stakes game.

“You know,” Remus said as the team started to file down the tunnel. “I used to go last.”

Sirius’ intense eyes lightened into a softer gray. He shifted from one skate to another. “Oh? I don’t know if I knew that.”

Remus tilted his head, smile playing at one corner of his mouth. “Well? What are we gonna do?”

Sirius just stared at him. “I… I go last.”

Remus let out his laughter, leaning up to tap their helmets together. He vaguely heard a camera flash go off, and smiled. He wanted that picture.

“You should have seen your face, baby,” he whispered, and grabbed his stick from the rack before catching up to James.

He heard Sirius splutter out a laugh—and there was definitely some relief in there—and follow.

The sounds of the crowd in Hogwarts stadium only grew louder. Remus could feel Sirius close behind him.

“Ready, mon loup?” he asked quietly, just before the tunnel opened up to the lights.

Remus didn’t know if Sirius heard his yes over the roar of the team’s entry into a sea of red and gold, but then feet were on the ice he was doing a lap, the Rangers at the other end.

On opening night, Remus knew he would be taking this lap alone, along with Cole. A rookie’s first official NHL game. It felt surreal to think about. He couldn’t knock the feeling that he was too old for that—but he knew plenty of guys did it at his age. You didn’t have to be eighteen.

He picked up a puck and headed towards the goal, trying to decide if it would help to block out the noise, or let it overtake him. The boys were dialed in. Remus glanced over at Sirius, feeling strangely bare without him by his side. But he was over by center ice, tracing the Lion printed there—as usual. Remus didn’t want to seem favored. He didn’t want to seem clingy. They weren’t a couple out here, he knew that. They were teammates.

He shot at Kasey, who caught his puck in his glove, and began the wrap-around again before pushing backwards around the outside of the goal, as he always used to. He’d done his routine a few times at the beginning of practices, but it was nothing compared to being surrounded by a crowd—a bigger crowd than he’d ever actually played in front of before.

Kasey tapped a puck at him once he reached his first post, and he laughed, shooting it back until a sign waving at the glass caught his eye. It was held by a kid, maybe around Julian’s age.

I want a signed stick the ReMOST, Lupin!

Remus laughed at the kid’s wide eyes when he saw that he was looking, and gave him a thumbs up the best he could with his gloves on before holding up his stick.

“One second,” he called over the crowd.

When he got to the bench, Sirius was there stretching, holding out an already uncapped sharpie.

And looks like Lupin’s heading over to sign that young man a stick. I bet that’s a good feeling after—oh! Black’s got a pen ready for him.

Remus shoved a glove under his arm and took it. “You saw the sign?”

“I got the kid down to the glass,” Sirius grinned.

“I love you,” Remus said as he scribbled his signature, complete with the jersey number that players always included.

It took two tries to get the stick successfully over the glass, but for the look on the boy’s face, Remus would have tried twenty.

“Feels good, eh?” James said once the horn blew for warmups and they were settled onto the bench.

“Too good,” Remus said.

“First line,” Coach called, slapping his calling card against his palm. “12, 10, 7, let’s go. Olli, Tims, on D.”

Sirius sent him a quick smile, and Remus spun his stick in front of him. “Let’s go, Captain.”

Sirius snorted, rolling his eyes as he pushed away from the boards towards center ice, where Zibanejad was waiting.

Good to see that sort of…what would you call it, Dean, from Black?

Light energy, I think, Lee. Sirius is well known around the league for his intensity.

Right. Nice to see Lupin getting a smile out of him before what is most probably a season that holds more pressure than usual for the Lions, after a Cup year.

One of Black’s coaches once said in an interview that the only thing Sirius feels after scoring a goal is pressure to score another. Ha, sounds about right.

Remus all but held his breath when the ref dropped the puck. Sirius stole it back for James who nicked it over to Logan. Logan sped it into the neutral zone, narrowly avoiding Lafrenière.

“Bulky kid,” Finn said from beside Remus.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Logan?”

“Well—yeah, but nah, Lafrenière,” Finn nodded. “Built like a tree, what is he, nineteen? Crazy. I didn’t look like that when I was nineteen.”

“Well,” Remus said as the whistle blew for an icing on the Rangers. “People are comparing him to Crosby.”

“Kuny,” Coach called. “Lupin, Nado.”

Remus’ initial thought was surprise. The shock of being put out with the second line carried him somewhat numbly over the boards beside Evgeni and Jackson. He didn’t have time to look at Sirius take his place on the bench.

“Hey,” Evgeni said, drawing them in with a glove over his mouth so the Rangers filing out of their bench couldn’t read their lips. “I take Lindgren. Loops, go fast, okay? Nado get you puck.”

“Fox,” Jackson warned.

“Sergei take care,” Evgeni said like it was obvious, and loomed towards the face-off circle.

“Left side,” Remus said to Jackson before they parted. “I’ll try to shake Kravtsov.”

“Nice,” Jackson nodded.

Remus and Kravtsov shared a nod as they lined up shoulder to shoulder on the centerline.

“Welcome to the NHL,” Kravtsov said with a slight smile.

“Thanks,” Remus replied.

Kravtsov was so young. All of these guys were so young.

He couldn’t help feeling like time had been stolen from him.

Have you ever seen this many Russian players in one NHL game, Dean? Pretty nice to see. And here’s Lupin’s first shift. Let’s go.

The puck dropped and Remus gave Kravtsov a shove, spinning out and around him. His heart seemed to press the sound out of his ears until all he could hear was his own breathing. Evgeni won the face off.

“Kuns!” Jackson shouted, and Evgeni passed it to him deep in their own zone. It drew Fox forward, just as Remus knew it was meant to, but Sergei was there for Jackson to derail the puck. Fox was forced to turn around, Kravtsov was made to press forward for a pass, and it left Remus free to shoot into their defense zone. Strome tried to cross him, but Remus spun around him. Sergei and Jackson tried to get it to him, but it left the zone. Remus swore as he pushed hard to touch up the neutral zone.

“6, 58, 86, off, Reyes, O’Hara, LeBlanc, on!”

Remus pulled back to the bench, sending Cole a nod as he hopped over the boards for his first NHL shift. Remus’ shift had been thirty seconds that felt like ten, but he was breathing hard. Finn followed Cole with a tap to his back, promptly stole the puck from Chytil, and slapped it into the corner of the Rangers’ goal.

Remus had barely taken a drink of water when the goal horn blared Gryffindor’s roar filled Hogwarts Stadium.

He punched Sirius’ side, who had his arms raised. Sirius laughed from beside him as they settled onto the bench beside each other.

“Ouch,” Sirius rubbed his padding.

“I don’t know, I got excited,” Remus laughed.

They held his gloves out for Finn to tap as he came down the line, the goal song blaring, the crowd chanting along to the catchy drumbeat.

“Nice solo, Harz,” Remus called, and Finn grinned.

“Thanks, Rookie.”

It remained pretty even through the first and second. Panarin had three good chances, the fourth sailing past Kasey’s glove. Sirius scored a dirty wrap-around just before the second’s buzzer, and Remus didn’t think he’d ever like anything more than getting the full force of Sirius’ smile as he tapped gloves down the bench line. No sooner had the final face-off of the period set up than were Evgeni and Lindgren going at it, hands gripping the back of each other’s jerseys as they dropped their gloves. Gryffindor would start the third one man up.

Remus filed back down the tunnel towards the locker room, smiling at Layla as he dropped his gloves in the bucket she was holding to be dried. He felt warm, his muscles used and a little sore. He longed for an ice bath, but he wanted to use them more too. It was the most familiar feeling in the word. He smiled against it as he sat down in his stall, laughing lightly at the way Evgeni threw a wet towel over his head.

“Not skate enough over the summer,” Evgeni groaned.

Remus looked up when a shadow fell over him and was greeted by two hands on his cheeks and a warm, familiar kiss.

“J’adore,” Sirius said.

Remus laughed, holding his wrists where his pulse still high from the game.

“Nice goal.”

“Good to be back,” James said as he pushed his jersey over his head. “Crowd sounds amazing. How you doing, Reyes?”

Cole looked up from where he was re-taping his socks. “The crowd is amazing.”

Remus felt a slap on the back from Evgeni, towel around his neck now. “Good shift, rookie.”

“Kuns,” Remus sighed, and Evgeni just laughed teasingly.

Remus felt Sirius’ eyes on him throughout the entire intermission. He knew he was curious, and had been for months, about Remus’ game routine. He’d asked and asked over the summer, but that was the thing with Remus’ superstitions—he couldn’t talk about them.

Remus took two fresh sticks from his rack and sat back down. He began wrapping it steadily.

“Of course your tape job is perfect,” Thomas sighed, shaking his head. “Of course, of course.”

Remus laughed, ripping the tape with his teeth.

“Speak for yourself,” Jackson grinned, giving his stick a twirl, the tape warped and hurried.

Remus snorted. “All I see is a fucking candy cane.”

Power play. Lindgren went into the box, slamming the door a little too hard on his way.

“Black,” Coach called as the crowd shuffled into their seats, armed with food, and Remus had been expecting that. “Tremzy, Lupin, Fox, Sunny.”

Remus blinked. He hadn’t been expecting that.

Remus hopped the boards beside Sirius, and the stadium seemed to get louder. Sirius knocked their shoulders together, and Remus didn’t doubt the cameras were on them and he tried to control his expression. He didn’t want to look too pleased, or too dopy at the feeling of skating side by side with Sirius in front of a crowd.

I think this is the moment many of us have been waiting for, Dean.

You bet! I didn’t expect it to come so soon. Coach Weasley is trying out lots of different line combos tonight. What’s pre-season for? I hear Lupin’s played on the power play a few times in practice.

Sirius put his glove up by his mouth, holding his mouth guard.

“Try the double pass?” he said quickly.

“Yeah,” Remus nodded. “Let’s do it.”

Sirius bent down across from Zibanejad and the rest of the Rangers penalty kill unit.

It happened fast. Remus was used to seeing this from the bench—but maybe that was a good thing. He saw the ice as if through a wide lens, Sirius passed to Logan, and then it was on Remus’ stick to carry up. Remus blew out a breath, pushing his legs hard ahead of Panarin. He needed to get ahead, needed to stay parallel with Sirius. He felt Panarin scrape at his heels, but then Sirius was calling his name.

Shesterkin was still up and on his feet, reading to dive whichever way.

“Loup,” Sirius called, and it was as though it was only the two of them in the basement rink. Only the crowd was different, and absolutely roaring. 

Remus snapped the puck to Sirius, who passed it right back. Shesterkin went down when Remus pulled his stick back in a fake, only for him to give it back to Sirius to tap into wide open net.

Remus’ hands shot up, and the crowd screamed. Sirius all but slammed into him, wrapping him up tight against the boards.

“Re,” Sirius laughed through he words, pressing their helmets together. “Mon loup, mon loup—”

Logan crashed into them next, followed by Adam and Henrik. Remus found himself in the center of elated shouts, the fans pounding hands on the glass from the other side.

“Merde, it sounds like the playoffs,” Logan shouted, pressing a hand to Remus’ helmet.

Remus could only laugh, giddy, high on it all.

What a goal! Well, Lee, I don’t think we’re going to have to wait long to see this young man’s first regular season point.

~

“He fell for it,” Remus said for the tenth time as he handed Sirius the last of their dinner dishes. “Shesterkin fell for it.”

Sirius laughed and slid the dishes into the sink and turned, placing slightly damp hands on Remus’ cheeks.

“You are amazing,” he said, accent heavy and laced with a need that Remus had felt stirring in himself since getting off the ice. They’d been on the ice together today. They’d built a goal together, scored. Igor Shesterkin had fallen for their fake-out.

“I was so happy today,” Sirius whispered.

Remus closed his eyes, caught between the feeling of Sirius’ body colliding with his own in celebration, and the feeling of his warm hands here, now.

“It’s everything I’ve ever wanted,” Remus said softly, and opened his eyes, hands against Sirius’ chest.

What a terrifying, wonderful sentence.

Sirius just leaned in to kiss him, mouth tender and insistent. It was the same fire he had on the ice, leading Remus in a way that made his insides warm and his toes curl. Remus let Sirius guide him slowly up the stairs, and he relished in the way they stopped on the landing, on a half-way stair, just to be closer again, Remus’ mouth on his neck, Sirius’ against his temple. The hallway was dark, lit only by the nightlight they kept plugged in near their feet. It cast Sirius in warm angles as Remus tugged his shirt off and dropped it right there in the hallway.

“I’m not saying I’m not going to miss Regulus,” Remus said as Sirius bent to mouth gently against his neck. “But I’m not saying I’m not going to enjoy being able to undress you wherever I want now that we have the house to ourselves.”

Sirius’ laugh was soft, a little breathless. “Name your room, I’ll be there.”

Remus laughed, too. “Bedroom. Nice, soft bed.”

Sirius walked Remus backwards through the door, hands on his hips. “How do you feel? That was quite the race with Kreider in the second.”

“Good,” Remus nodded, but let Sirius’ strong hands dig into the muscles of his shoulders and back. He sighed into it, resting his cheek against his chest. “But I won’t say no to that.”

Sirius kissed Remus’ temple and worked his shirt over his head. He lay him down on the mattress and Remus closed his eyes at the feeling of Sirius’ lips against his neck, and then his shoulder.

Sirius kissed over the scar that Greyback had torn from Remus’ body all those years ago at their shared college, keeping Remus from a career in the NHL—at least until now.

“I wonder what he thinks,” Remus wondered aloud, and he didn’t have to explain himself for Sirius to know what he meant. Remus wound his fingers into Sirius dark hair as he looked up at him.

“Me too,” Sirius admitted. “And then I see red and have to stop thinking about it.”

Remus half-smiled. “Yeah…I felt bad at lunch those few weeks ago. With Cole. I really think he thought he said something wrong, and I wish I could explain but it’s still…it’s still like this weird secret, you know? Like people could find out if they really looked but no one has? And I don’t really want to bring it up but at the same time I know Fenrir has already spread lies. Saying it was a car crash or…who knows what. Sorry.” Remus pressed a hand to his face. “God, I’m completely killing the mood.”

“Re, hey,” Sirius pushed himself up onto his forearm, falling to the side and keeping their legs tangled.

“And it’s such a good mood, I just was thinking aloud.”

“You’re not. Talk to me. You can talk to me whenever.”

Remus ran his thumb over Sirius’ bottom lip. “Okay…yeah, I know that.”

“This was a big day,” Sirius said. “Huge for you. Of course you would be thinking about him. I used to think about my parents every time I stepped on the ice, even after things were getting better. I think…I think its just time. It takes time.”

“It was strange today,” Remus finally admitted. “I couldn’t…I didn’t know how close to you I could be. Out there, I mean. I’m your boyfriend, you’re mine, but we’re also teammates. There’s so much debate, about my place on the team and if you did something to get me there…I don’t know. I don’t want someone to accuse you of favoritism. You don’t deserve that.”

“We’re both,” Sirius said. “We’ll always be both. You’ll always be the boy I love. You’ll always be my teammate.” Sirius shrugged. “It doesn’t matter if we’re on the ice or not. And I don’t care if someone thinks I favor you. We both know I don’t. Not like that.”

Remus made a soft sound and pulled Sirius further on top of him, making him smile. “Love you.”

Sirius let Remus press slow kisses to his lips. “This mood feels pretty good to me.”

Remus just hushed him, tucking a hand into his waistband.

Sirius kissed him until Remus’ cheeks were hot and his cock was aching, pressed up against his sweatpants. Remus could still hear the Lions’ crowd rushing in his ears. Sirius’ palm cupped him and pushed his sweatpants down. They were both flushed and pink. Remus wanted to see those colors together.

He pulled Sirius’ hips against his own, discarding clothing until it was all bare skin. Remus ran his hands over the hard curves of his back. He had to squeeze his eyes shut, hooking his arms beneath Sirius’, holding onto his shoulders.

Their mouths found each other messily, dragging and half open in gasps.

“Sirius,” Remus breathed, voice higher than usual.

The adrenaline that Remus had thought had faded with the game only seemed to thrum brighter. Remus couldn’t help the smile the crossed his face, brows drawn together at the feeling of Sirius rutting against him.

Remus pressed his ankle gently to the back of Sirius’ knee and rolled them, drawing breathless laughs from both their mouths that he sealed away to keep like a love letter. It was soft mouths and hard hands, clutching each other closer, getting the most out of the warm friction. Remus swallowed Sirius’ gasps. His orgasm built up below his spine and Sirius seemed to read his mind. He reached between them with a hand, brushing a thumb at his base, pressing up. Remus’ hips stuttered and he fell apart, shoving hard against Sirius’ tight fist.

Sirius followed at the hot streak of Remus’ come between them, and they lay there, panting, foreheads together. Remus eased their hips back together, both of them letting out a soft moan, then a laugh, as the spent cocks brushed, drawing out the last tendrils of their orgasms.

“That feels good,” Sirius mumbled, head sunken back against the pillows.

Remus rolled his hips slowly, bringing them down, and then pulled his head up. He pushed Sirius’ sweaty hair back from his cheek and kissed it. 

“Communicate to score,” Sirius mumbled.

Remus laughed hard, squeezing his eyes shut, and dropped his face into his neck to catch his breath.

“It’s true,” Sirius said, running a warm palm up and down Remus’ back. “That article we looked at.”

They’d given in and read some press over dinner, laughing at some of the more excitable writers, and grinning at each other at the more serious ones.

Magnetism, one wrote. Feels like we’ve got some mind-readers on this team, a real Crosby-Malkin, Kane-Toews one-two-punch.

“Well,” Remus said, folding his arms across Sirius’ chest. “What am I thinking now?”

Sirius pressed his lips together, pretending to think. “Is it…how to get out of golf with James and the Cubs before the ring ceremony on Tuesday?”

Remus snorted. “Well, that’s definitely on my list. But nope.” He leaned in, brushing their mouths together. “That’s not it.”

Sirius grinned, and Remus sunk into how thick and sated his accent sounded. “Is it…will my handsome boyfriend please run me a bath and make me tea?”

Remus laughed into their next kiss. “Wow, that writer was right.”

~

It looks…maybe like a twisted knee? What do you think, Dean? Walker is definitely not making a move to get up—oh, there’s the medic. One of the Lions’ new staff members as, of course, someone had to take Lupin’s place. Ah, Walker is pointing to his foot now.

Man, is that a grimace if I ever saw one.

It sure is, Dean.

Here comes O’Hara to help out his teammate.

They were in Madison Square Garden, the Rangers giving them one hell of a re-match. Logan skated a close perimeter towards where Thomas had gone down, just between a line change.

“Shit,” Finn skated to a stop beside him. “It’s fucking pre-season. Did you see what happened?”

Logan shook his head. “Not really. Think it was just a bad fall. Strome looks sorry.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’re not jumping him right now.”

Logan’s mouth quirked up. “I have no interest in jumping Strome, thanks.” His eyes found Leo on the bench. With his hat flipped backwards, the intensity, the worry in of his blue eyes cut a clear path to Thomas.

“T,” Finn said, skating closer. “Need a hand to the room?”

Thomas winced as he made it to one knee. “Yeah, man, thanks.”

~

Thomas stared up at the dark ceiling from the padded PT table, listening to the game continue on the TV mounted to the corner of the ceiling. There was the X-ray pushed to the corner, his results pinned up on the light screen. Fracture. Minor, but it’d take weeks to heal. He’d miss the beginning of the season. He’d be in a suit when they lifted the Stanley Cup champion banner in the stadium. He missed Noelle.

The light flicked on so suddenly Thomas flinched.

“Walker,” said an unfamiliar voice. It was accented—Swedish, he thought. Thomas squinted at the speaker. He was tall, and dressed in the staff jacket he’d come to associate with Remus. Right. Lars.

“I…hey,” Thomas said. His eyes went to Layla, who gave a wave as she slipped in behind the man. “Hey, man, Lars, right?”

Lars gave a short nod. “Nice to meet you. So, you probably know the drill by now. Couple weeks. Aspirin will be fine for pain management.”

“Right,” Thomas nodded.

“We’ve got a boot for you here, but I’d take everything to a doctor, just for a second opinion. I’ll recommend someone,” he shrugged. “That was an unlucky hit. I’m sorry.”

Thomas blinked. He didn’t know someone could seem sweetly uninterested. He smiled hesitantly. “Thanks.”

Thomas snapped a picture of the boot once he strapped it on and sent it out complete with a frowning emoji.

He had just opened the door to the locker room, accompanied by his new crutches and to meet his victorious team, when his phone began to ring with a Facetime.

“T,” Noelle’s voice gasped. She was beautiful, her hair curling around her face. “Baby, I saw.”

“It’s not too bad,” Thomas said beneath the noise as the locker room filled up. “You look like you’re about to go somewhere, I can call back, I just wanted to…”

I’m just sad about it. It sounded lame in his own ears.

He cleared his throat. “Logan, say hi to your sister.”

Logan poked his head into the frame and stuck his tongue out, then left.

“Lolo!” Noelle shouted for the locker room to hear, and Logan groaned.

“Lolo,” Kasey imitated, grinning, and Logan shoved his mask down over his face.

“How is it?” Finn asked, wrapping an arm around him. “Hi, Noelle.”

“Fractured. Couple weeks.”

“Damn,” Finn sighed. “Sorry, T. That was an—”

“unlucky hit,” Thomas laughed. “Preach.”

“Hey, baby, we’re all heading to grab some food, but call you tonight?”

Thomas nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

He tried not to feel lonely as the screen went dark. He was in a room surrounded by people. People he loved.

It crept in anyway.

[harryissuchalittleshit]

If Jily ever got to meet their grandchildren!

(Purely self indulgent)

James Sirius:

First off, they would be so happy to meet him, and James would cry when they told him what they named him

(If Sirius was also their/alive he would be ugly crying/sobbing/barely able to speak because he was so happy and honored)

Lily already knows he’ll be a little troublemaker, she had the same feeling when she first held Harry

As James Sirius gets older it becomes more and more obvious how right Lily was

They are so proud of him getting into Gryffindor and James sends him a congratulatory howler

James Sirius does share A LOT of his personality with his namesakes, he is fiercely loyal, very open with his emotions, loud and chaotic, he loves to pull pranks, and he views his friends as family

He does have a bit of a hot head and James is embarrassed for him when he starts acting stupid around girls, especially when he messes up his hair like he used too

James Sirius is a bit of a train wreck in his mid-years at Hogwarts, but by the time he’s seventeen he’s calmed down

He even makes Head Boy, with the girl he fancies as Head Girl

James Sirius isn’t the type to go to anyone for advice, it always has to be forced on him, but it would be different if James and Lily were alive

A lot of things would’ve been different, but not that much

Albus Severus:

First off, James would never allow Harry to name his grandson after Snape so

Albus Regulus:

Now here is the baby that Lily wants to babysit all the time

Al is a sweet baby for her and a cuddly toddler for her and just the perfect grandson for her

There is something about Al that’s easy to adore

He’s more open and kind to everyone, but very selective about who he’s friends with or even allows to be close to him

James worries about this, but Lily is scared for Al because of this

She doesn’t want to see him get hurt like she did

When he gets sorted in Slytherin, they don’t know where they all went wrong

When he writes home that he’s friends with Scorpius Malfoy they start to get worried and fearful

Then they meet the Scorpius and see that he’s kind of the foil that Al needs

Al does go through a rough time his last year of school, but then he’s off to Auror training and James and Lily are so proud and happy for him

Lily Luna:

James wanted a daughter when Lily was pregnant with Harry

And 20+ years later here is his granddaughter

She is a beautiful baby and later little girl, James is just so in love with her and Lily teases him all the time about it

Lily is so honored that they named their only daughter after her, and she vows to always be their for Lily Luna

Lily is the only to push Harry and Ginny to get her into dance classes and goes to ever recital

When Lily Luna gets older, James is the one to make her get up on a broom and show off

Lily Luna would definitely be the kid to write to her grandparents all the time and always be visiting them and just staying close and in touch

She is incredibly close to her namesake and Lily actually starts to open up to her about the war

When Lily Luna hits her rough patch when she’s 16/17 she stops writing and just rereads her old letters

James doesn’t approve of Ryan when they first meet (but he never approved of any of his grandchildren’s SO’s)

But then he realizes that Ryan is to Lily Luna what Lily is to him

He drops the over protective act after that

Okay that’s all!

[accio-depression]

HARRY POTTER RANTS

is it wrong i think ron is just as prejudiced as draco like just with different things… canonally he has degraded house elves & other magical creatures. he’s really mean to hermione in the beginning & not bc she’s a muggle born but bc she’s a “know it all” he just finds different ways to be prejudiced i think he was a lot of help and a good friend to harry but all his other interactions make me think he was just like draco but born from a family on the right side. ron also was very mean and rude to harry when he would offer the get stuff for him, i understand it was out of embarrassment but he’s your friend ron he seen a lot of embarrassing things from your family & he does not care. draco could have been given a redemption arc if ronald weasley can end up with hermione granger.

honestly don’t get me started on JKR writing of hermione, JKR is the type of girl to hate other girls i firmly believe this. she wrote hermione as a annoying know it all but also made her the reason harry knew anything??? she was literally just made for harry to know everything without being the smart one. i know we took the world she created and ran with it but god i started to love hermione in POA when she kept that secret from harry and ron all year basically. she knows she doesn’t need ron and harry she’s only around bc they treat her with more kindness than anyone else, also think the hat considered putting her in slytherin but her being muggle-born ruined that one so he considered ravenclaw bc she values knowledge and wisdom but her sheer loyalness and determination to fit in made the hat ultimately pick gryfindor which makes me think she was aware of the situation with harry & ron but not care enough she wanted friends & thought that’s how friends were. she loves ron and harry & i think ron realized he was in love with her bc he realized she wasn’t gonna be around forever unless he or harry married her. they need her they wouldn’t have passed a single class without her let alone save the wizarding world.

NOW for my draco input

first things first if you read the books with “harry potter is the ONLY pov we have” in mind, you can really see where he is very blinded by the glitz and glamor of the wizarding world & can’t see things that are quite literally right in front of him.

He hates draco bc he’s told he should hate draco bc of his family and harry’s family and ron’s family & just a bunch of stuff that an impressionable 11 would think makes him the enemy. even when he met draco in the robe fitting shop & he didn’t know who he was harry thought he was different but he didn’t hate him. he just thought oh wow this is what its like if you grow up in this world. he wasn’t until he met ron where he seen even in the wizarding world there were poor people & prejudiced. he felt bad for ron! harry wasn’t broke but he seen draco ragging on ron for being poor & he’s been the poor kid he knows how it is.

now with that in mind i reread all the books & redid my assessment on draco.

draco has been emotionally if not physically abused by his father his entire life. maybe not intentionally but lucious was a horrible man & he had no guts.

draco is a spoiled rich kid who got all the shit for following what he was taught from a very young age.

PS-POA

now the teasing and name calling and bulling he did, we know that the bully always has a bully themselves & we never see draco’s “bully” bc it’s his family structure. now you could call him weak bc sirius seen it and left his family BUT sirius was not an only child he left behind a family that he knew would continue if he left he wasn’t even the only BOY. the black name would live on. draco didn’t have any siblings he also didn’t know how he was living was abusive the friends he chose were family friends who have known him and his parents for a long time of course he wouldn’t see anything different in their homes than his so he wouldn’t think anything of it. so he’s mean & cruel bc it’s all he knows. also he’s a teenager they can be little shits sometimes.

GOF

he is starting to realize his family dynamic is not the only one to exist, he goes to the quidditch world cup the same boy we last saw in prisoner of azkaban but he leaves the confused boy we came to love. i like to believe before the attacks he was told to watch & learn & right after they start he sees the kids in the air and he looses it he runs off to the woods with the others but remember he’s a slytherin, he realizes he won’t ever be the one being put into the air like that when he realizes that he stops, leans against the tree, and watches as he slowly starts to question if he and his family are the bad guys. we start to see this internal battle when hermione exposes her harry and ron in the woods next to draco (using magic illegally might i add) & draco proceeds to belittle her but effectively telling them to get her out of there without calling her a slur. this is MONUMENTAL bc at this time harry and hermione are under the impression they were only attacking muggles. i believe ron knew who and what they were doing just didn’t want to “scare them”. draco knew harry and hermione wouldn’t know those people hate muggleborns too & in his own little way wanted to warm them. we also see this internal battle when he talks about going to drumstrang it sounds as though he is bragging but i think he’s really relieved he wasn’t sent so far away & surrounded by all that darkness. why would he need to brag to his friends when his friends know what the school is & was probably considered to go themselves…

OOTP-HBP

I firmly believe that this is where draco is going thru the biggest part of his internal battle. at the beginning of OOTP we see from harrys pov that dumbledore is straight up ignoring harry & that he is willing to lie (lie being a loose word bc it was the truth but mrs. figg did not witness it) to a court full of ministry workers for harry so he won’t be kicked out of school & so on. that establishes that harry’s POV is skewed towards the wizarding world bc he knows from her description of the dementors that she did not actually see one but he doesn’t question it. he is only focused on dumbledore ignoring him almost all book long that’s the main focus for the entire book. but we see in OOTP that draco is getting less expressive with his hatefulness but more vengeful of his peers he is coming to terms that life has changed & him and his family are a big part of what’s coming next. in HBP harry is way more aware of draco & most of this comes from hate for his father for essentially killing sirius (harry knows bellatrix did the killing but LUCIOUS was the leader & also the only one he knows knows) Harry starts to notice that draco isn’t just not being a bully anymore he’s downright different. Draco stops with the PETTY meanness and starts actually saying some crude things out of anger and resentment of his current situation i like to believe draco was given his task the moment after his dad came back from the DoM even before lucious being placed in azkaban. he was alone all summer long & as soon as he gets back to school all he can think about is having to kill his headmaster. in the bathroom scene where harry uses snapes spell he sees draco physically upset & obviously going thru something but bc it’s in harry POV we believe everything is how it actually happened. i think draco was just about to switch over to the good side until harry used that horrible spell on him. he still struggles internally after this but he learns to hide it a lot more due to the fight with harry. we see in the tower that he doesn’t WANT to kill dumbledore he just wants to save himself and his family from torture or death. draco begins to see the good and bad in EVERYONE.

DH

we don’t get to see much of draco in this one but when we do he is always on the edge of “who should i be helping right now” the manor with identifying harry, him not wanting to give up hermione or ron but knowing he can get away with not identifying harry if he identifies them he does what he has too. him LITERALLY THROWING HARRY HIS WAND. & we learn alot about draco’s mother in this book and HBP she is a FEARLESS women who defied  Voldemort multiple times! how tf could JKR give her a redemption & not her son?! draco only came to that side when his mother called for him not his father his mom. draco is the main character in my book he goes thru way more for the wizarding world than anyone else he has to relearn EVERYTHING he was taught & he does it all before voldemort dies.

at the end of the day Draco Malfoy is worth more than some dead pure blood wife & a life as an auror. he was a skilled occulemist & potioneer, top of his class right behind hermione & just as good on a broom as harry. he’s loyal to his heart & has bigger ambitions than being a cop for the rest of his life. i picture him with hermione & a job as a top potion inventor who likes to ask harry about his day at work & agrees with ron about the house elves when hermione isn’t around he’s a good person who deserves more than he was given canonally.

[wreckofawriter]

Magnolia Final Part

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Mentions of blood and death

Summary: idk dude just read the other chapters first or this is gonna make no sense

A/n: I did this instead of studying for my finals, also it could probably use a neither round of editing but I was anxious to post it. And I really don't give a fuck if this is historically inacurate all research done for this was from Pirate of the Caribbean.

Part 1 Part 2

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

You considered the stars your friends, their predictability and reserve made them easy to get along with. You had been taught to read their language from your early days of ships and oceans. As a child, you would speak to them, whispering secrets from your bedroom window. Your young nights had been filled with time spent stretching from the top of your magnolia tree to try and grasp their beauty. Even now as you stared up at the heavens you wished to cradle them like priceless jewels, their wonder never faded. But you supposed their mystery is what made them so appealing, everyone wanted something they could never quite reach.

The news of your captured prince had spread like fire in a dry wind, the letters you had sent to Aldir and their neighboring kingdoms throwing many into action. Sirius’s kingdom was large, powerful, and merciless. Some wanted the prince for leverage, many others wanted blood; revenge driving them to empty treasuries and sharpen swords. At first, you had been sitting pretty, letters of bids coming to you at every stop you made. Eventually, prices got too high and kingdoms decided it would be easier to take than to pay.

Ash burned in the back of your throat, you stared at your feet as the second ship that week crumbled into the ocean. Its flames were heavy on your back, reflecting in the greys of the sea. A particularly large crack of the fire made the breath catch in your throat. Your fear of the element had persisted for years filling your nightmares with smoke and screams. 

As the distance between you and the defeated ship lengthened your heart began to calm. The air was thick with moisture, purple clouds bruising the dull sky. The ocean was frothy, waves lapping tirelessly at the sides of your ship.

Your mind felt dizzy, the taste of blood still thick in your mouth. Two more men had been lost in the fight which had taken place just minutes ago. One flung into the ocean and the other struck by a bullet. That was six bodies that you had been forced to dump into the sea the past month. 

You had to get rid of Sirius before more corpses were to be fed to the sharks. This had never been so strikingly obvious before yet, you hesitated. Nails dug into your palms, the voices in your head fighting a clamoring war. Your feelings were illegible, their messy colors smeared together in an uninterpretable painting. So you threw them away, ignoring the throb in your chest and taking a breath. Sirius was to be sold to the highest bidder and that was that. You felt your past’s grip on your throat loosening. There was only one way to get rid of what used to be, you had to kill it. 

   

Sirius had never been so bewildered before. His life had been a book that was written a thousand times over. The prince falls in love, the queen doesn’t approve, the love runs off, the prince finds the love, and then happily ever after. But life wasn’t as sweet nor simple as a children’s story and this may be the first time that he had ever truly realized that. All it took was the prince to be tied in the love’s basement ready to be sold to his death. 

Sirius woke with a start as metal clattered inches from his face. His heart pounded loudly in his ears as his breath slowly returned to his lungs. He stared at the plate which had woken him, it was piled higher than normal with two rolls dropped next to it. He peered up at the giver of this gift.

He recognized the small blonde as the one he had threatened a few weeks before, the fear he had seen in her eyes that moment now replaced with pity, bitter and soft like rotten fruit. 

“I wanna talk.” She said plainly, toeing the plate towards him like a bribe, he supposed that’s exactly what it was. 

Sirius sat up ignoring the hammer of his head. His hair stuck to his cheek, slick with sweat. The woman whose name he never learned dropped to a squat beside him, a small knife held in her hand. His eyes widened as it glinted in the small gas lamp hanging above his head. 

“Relax.” She sighed cutting the rope that tethered his hands behind his back. 

Sirius felt his shoulders groan in protest as they fell forward, his wrists aching and rubbed red. Hot pin pricks filled his fingers as he clenched and unclenched his fists. 

When he looked back up Adrie was now seated in front of him, her legs crossed. She glanced down at the food and then back up at him, “You can eat if you agree to answer some questions.” Her demands were simple. 

He let silence settle for just a moment, “Fine.” After all, what did he have to lose? His dignity? His pride? They had been sleeping with the fishes for ages. 

She pushed the plate towards him, watching him quietly as he began to eat, “You don’t look like much of a prince to me.” She hummed after a moment.

Sirius swallowed, licking his lips, “Does anyone after two weeks locked in the bottom of a ship full of scum?"

Adrie cracked a smile, “I suppose not.” 

She stared at him still, she was lying a bit. Years held prisoner couldn’t erase the royalty he was raised with, it stuck to him like wet stuck to water. Nothing and everything proved him a prince, you could take his crown but you could never take his title.

“How do you know y/n?”

Sirius was startled by the suddenness of the question but not remotely surprised it was asked, “She hasn’t told you?” 

“I wouldn’t be asking if she had,” Adire responded, her tone was blunt. 

He bit into a roll thoughtfully taking his time to chew slowly, she was patient, her blank expression, not faltering.

“I thought you were friends.” He mumbled with a full mouth. 

Her jaw tightened, “Y/n doesn’t speak of her past.”

“So you’ve come to me for information?” Sirius said mild mockery in his voice.

“Obviously.”

He eyed the woman curiously, she was not what he had expected of your right hand man. Sirius smiled loosely, “You sure you wanna disobey Captain’s orders?” 

“Start talking or I take the food and hang you by your ankles.” 

Sirius huffed glancing between her and his food, “Fine, you win.” 

“Good. Tell me everything.” She demanded.

Sirius felt his throat tighten around the potatoes he had swallowed, his mind ached with hazy memories of summer days and speeding hearts, “There isn’t much to tell.” 

“You’re a bad lair.” Adire hummed. 

Sirius sighed, eyes falling to the bright white scars which laced his hands. He wasn’t sure where else to start but the beginning. He told of a loud baker girl who snuck over the walls into his garden and brought him pastries and friendship. He continued with vague details, of growing up together with swords and stars, reliving each moment he shared. 

He felt his words stiffen as he spoke of falling in love with you. Part of him felt like he was talking of someone completely different. Someone who had burnt up with her parents in a small bakery a million miles away. What was left, muffling cries above him, was a shell of that girl her soul replaced with seaweed and smoke. He pushed the thought away, swallowing it with the lump in his throat as he continued to speak of a proposal he regretted and the consequences of disobeying his mother. 

The broken fairytale cut his tongue filling his mouth with a bitter taste. He attempted to wash it down with the rum his listener had brought to him but its flavor was just as bad, it's only redemption was the warmth that filled his stomach.

Adrie looked at him blankly, "I don't blame her for wanting you dead." 

Sirius wished she had stayed silent. 

"But I pity you, you don't deserve death." 

He didn't look up and instead finished his drink, "Your pity means nothing to me." 

She sighed standing to her feet, "I never thought it did." 

When her boots disappeared up the ladder he let his cup drop to the ground, it rolled knocking into his heel as tears dripped from his chin.

By the time you had dropped anchor just off of Haran, the moisture had dropped from the air. Dry winds and clear skies greeted your crew. 

Rowboats were dropped in the water quickly, the sun was setting fast and a night of cheap ale and cheaper women were in the forefront of many a man's heads. 

You were tired, the happiness of your crewmates falling short at your feet. Exhaustion had replaced all anger and sadness you had harbored for the past weeks making your eyes grow dull as the bags beneath them. The satchel burned under your arms had a note you had written agreeing to the Yerith King’s price. You had singed your finger on the wax used to seal the envelope, it still throbbed a bit with the unsteady beat of your heart. You tried not to think about much on your way to land instead filling your head with that faint burn and fog of the setting sun. 

Adrie watched as you played with the diamond strung around your neck, a new piece she had only seen in recent days. She assumed you had taken it from one of the ships which had recently burnt into the sea. The bright stone was so different from the rest of your jewelry she was surprised you wore it all. Obnoxious gems had never been your type.

She was wrong on this thought, large jewels used to be what you would stare at as you passed shop windows, wishing you had the money to clutch one in your hand. They used to be a dream and a wish, now they were just things you stole and sold to the highest bidder.

Sirius had been briefly told of the plans for the evening. Two men whom he had become somewhat accustomed to during his stay had tied him up. The knots were tighter than usual as they were to be gone for the night. In his usual nature, Sirius complained about the ache of his wrists and the cramps in his legs. His grievances went unheard and his company disappeared from sight. The boat was quiet within the hour, nothing but the creak of old boards and calls of gulls far above his head breaking the silence. 

He drifted in and out of sleep for a few hours, time passing in its usual way, slowly. Finally, a clear thought came to Sirius’s head, he had the whole boat to himself. That meant there was no one to stop him from escaping his certain and quickly approaching death. 

Sirius tried to twist his hands out of the rope for what must have been an hour and only resulted in drawing blood from his wrists. Switching tactics he began to slowly shuffle and roll around the cabin he was in, searching for anything that could cut rope. As the sun’s light began to fade his task was growing difficult. Just before he gave in to his exhaustion Sirius found a bent nail sticking about a centimeter out of the ladder that led to the upper deck. The next two hours were spent rubbing his binds against the dull metal until they finally snapped. 

    After a month of being held prisoner, freedom left him stunned. He stumbled up the ladder until he reached the ship’s deck. The warm breeze which washed over him felt like a gift from the gods. A smile stretched his aching cheeks and for the first time in a while Sirius Black let out a genuine laugh. 

He quickly found a small boat which he could lower to the water. He could be miles away before the sun rose and you found his binds cut. Judging by the port you had stopped at he was only a few days' row from neutral lands. There he could gather himself and write for help. He was saved.

Sirius’s glee was cut short as he realized that he was missing one vital thing; you. The only reason he was out here in the first place was for you. He had spent years following rumors across the sea, he had given up his place as king, he had spent hundreds of thousands on supplies. But the truth was even if he hadn’t done all that, even if he had stumbled across you within a week and spent no more than ten doubloons he still wouldn’t leave this ship alive unless you were by his side. 

Sirius cursed, slamming his fist into the deck. His eyes darted around in what felt like panic. He was trapped between your love and his life and while he had chosen the former weeks ago he had no way of securing it. 

In the dark, a glint of light was seen. A crate of liquor stowed next to the captain’s quarters revealed itself to the pale moon. The man's mind buzzed, he realized quickly that he would need to act fast, the hours of the dark he had left must be well used. 

The deal had been easy, one glance at the large gem and you had a buyer offering hundreds. You walked away with 400 doubloons knowing it was worth much more. Not that you cared, you had been hours from chucking the necklace into the sea. 

It was late at night now, the golden light of pubs and brothels spilling onto the gravel road you walked. Your legs still felt weak, they were accustomed to the sway of boats on sloshing waves not the strange sturdiness of the ground. You hadn’t been able to sleep well on land since you had stepped off it, you had always opted for a swinging hammock over a still cot. 

You swung your bag of coins round in circles as you made your way to the beach. The water was smooth save the ripple of waves drawn by the full moon. Sand glistened silver under your boots, the light crash of water on rocks echoing around you. 

You had never intended to spend the full night on land, your crew was well aware of this fact and none would be surprised to find you gone in the morning. You shoved one of your beached row boats back into the water, splashing about ankle deep before leaping into it. 

When you reached your ship, you sensed something was wrong immediately. The small voice which you tended to ignore was screaming in the back of your head. As you climbed onto the deck the strong scent of liquor overwhelmed you. You heard a soft splash and glanced down to look at the puddle you had stepped into. Swiping two fingers through the fluid and plopping them into your mouth you hummed. There was no mistaking the sharp taste of gin. You looked around to find the leak and instead locked eyes with a figure who stood about 20 meters in front of you. 

“Sirius?” You asked though you already knew it was him, you didn’t think you would ever forget his face, even if it was obscured by the shadows of the moon. 

He gapped at you, unsure of what to say.

You took a step closer and caught a glance of the bottle he held in his hand. Its thin neck was stuffed with a piece of cloth, the soft glow of a gas lamp flickering behind him. The second you realized what he had planned your gun was pointed at his chest.

“Drop the bottle Black.” you hissed with a steady voice despite the fact that your gun was rattling in your hands. Your thoughts were now fogged with fear, plagued by smoke and flames.

Sirius had suddenly found his voice, “I know you’re not stupid enough to fire that. One spark and we’ll both go up in flames.”

Your breaths quickened, vision blurring as tears welled in your eyes. “Why are you doing this?” You croaked. “Why do you want to ruin everything I’ve built for myself?”

“I’m not leaving without you y/n.” He shouted, “I can’t live without you. Just come with me. Please. Just come with me and it will all be fine.” 

You shook your head, “No.”

“Please, please! I need you y/n, I can’t go back without you!” He begged, snatching the lamp from behind him, “I won’t be able to live.”

It was in that moment that you understood he was just as desperate as you, just as lost and hopeless. You dropped your gun to your side, tears sliding slowly down your cheeks. Your throat tightened holding back a sob, ���Okay.” You said with a broken voice.

Sirius cracked a small smile, “I knew it.” He sighed, “I knew you still loved me.” Setting down the lamp he opened his arms walking towards you. You met him halfway burying your face into his rough jacket.

“God I missed you y/n,” he whispered as you slipped a knife from under your sleeve.

“I’m so sorry Siri.” You mumbled in response before plunging the blade into his back. 

You held him as he collapsed forward, choking back on his own blood. You had begun to sob, hand still clutching the hilt of the blade which was lodged into him. Eventually his weight became too much to bear and you both fell to the ground. Sirius rolled off next to you, his hand still clasped around your own. The two of you started up at the stars listening as his breaths slowed. Just before they stopped completely you felt a small squeeze of your hand and for just a moment you saw the soft pink of a petal floating towards you.

You weren't sure how long you lay there, staring up at the sky but it was long enough for you to finally realize that you were the villain of your story. It was an odd thing to recognize considering in all of the books you had carried as a child you took the place of the protagonist; the one who swung the sword to save the kingdom You had always been the one to end your life with a happily ever after. 

Now you had realized that you had never been a hero. You had spent your life as a villain in the making, each step you had taken leading you closer and closer to your undeniable fate of evil. You had your chance to be the princess trapped in the tower, but you had ignored the prince and now took the shape of a witch. A witch who stole and killed and burned all that she hated. Some had to do it after all, we can’t all be heroes. There is no story without a villain, at least not one worth reading.

As much as the small baker girl who rested amongst the magnolia tree would have hated you, the woman you saw when you looked in the mirror was okay with who you had become. And if she was okay with it, then why did it matter what the past would have thought? You had been running from it for years and now you would never have to again. Because now your past ran from you. 

taglist:

@april-showers-and-flowers @fleurmoon @chaosinparadise @re-zerohora @pregnant-piggy @approved-by-dentists @theweirdobella @fific7 @whitewashedghanianlol @artemis1orion @justmesadgirl @bberree @songforhema @wangmangagavroche @evyiione @atomicpunkrock @fairywriter-oracle @moon-zodiac @secretsofageek @accio-rogers-blog @roslea @k3nz-doodl3 @theseuscmander @sleepingalaska @chloe-geoghegan1 @obsessedwithrandomthings-blog @coldlilheart @suseptiable-bur-siriusexual @inglorious-imagines @the-natureofme @trickylittlewitch @layaa-layaaa @teheharrypotter @sarcasticallywitty15 @rosieweasleyy @dracosgoodgirl @inglourious-imagines

so many of u changed ur urls so if I have the wrong person tagged or the wrong username let me know

Masterlist

[hello-everyfandom]

Fighting With Sirius Black Would Consist of...

Fighting with Sirius Black Would Consist Of...

Sirius Black is quite dramatic. Most people, even people who do not know him, know if this.

It was not rare to see Sirius Black bickering with his friends, making snarky and snippy comments.

He hated it, but he truly was a hot head.

Sirius Black, in most cases, brought up most of the fights between you two.

There are three different types of ‘fights’ with Sirius Black.

Jealousy

Though Sirius seemed rather self-assured, he, deep down, was actually quite sensitive and insecure.

So seeing you interact with other ‘blokes’ as he put it, it caused some type of jealousy, an envy within him.

“So, got yourself a crush on Mr. Wether, then?”

Sirius always ensured to get every boys’ name that you spoke to wrong.

“You know full well his last name is Winter, Sirius.”

At first, you saw Sirius’ jealousy as something kind of cute. You were glad that Sirius cared so much that he was jealous, but as you continued dating it somehow became tiring.

Usually, his jealous spits would last an hour, maybe even a minute, but when he was extremely jealous, well, it could last weeks.

This became a problem when you were partnered up with Remus in your Advanced Potions class.

Being partners meant studying together, spending hours together perfecting potions, and eventually becoming friends.

Sirius Black loved Remus, he loved him so much, but he couldn’t help himself.

After having to cancel on Sirius on your little date, Sirius was rather cross, though he wished he wasn’t.

As you entered the common room, smiling and chuckling with Remus by your side, you gulped when you saw Sirius sitting, arms crossed with a sour look on his face.

“You’re back late,” He commented. 

Sirius had a horrible habit of biting the inside of his cheek when angry.

“I think I’ll go tuck in for bed then.” Remus scratched his neck awkwardly.

Sitting down next to him, you gently placed a hand on his arm which he harshly snatched away.

“Sirius, please,” you’d sigh, “I’m too tired for this.”

This is when Sirius’ dramatics came out, before he could even control himself he’d blurt out “So you want to break up?”

You sat there, staring with mouth wide. 

Sirius had realized what he said a little too late.

“Really, Sirius?”

Knowing he was wrong was one thing, but admitting it? That was even worse for him.

“Uhh, yeah! You just want all your free time to go off and snog my best mate.”

Standing up to dust off your trousers, you’d shake your head and reach out a hand, “I’m going to bed, either come or stay down here and be angry.”

Some days he’d sheepishly take your hand, somedays he’d turn away and you’d shrug and begin to walk upstairs. 

In the middle of the night, Sirius did always manage to sneak into bed with you.

Frustrated

As higher-level students, it was sometimes hard to find time together.

You two naturally depended on each other, so when you were apart for too long, you’d get cranky.

These fights were, most of the time, tired bickering.

“You’re stealing the duvet all night, don’t you know it’s bloody January?”

“You’re one to talk, you snore so loud I’m surprised that McGonagall doesn’t take away house points for you being such a nuisance.”

It was quite often that either of you would hit “potshots,” but they were never insulting nor harsh.

“You love that bloody book more than me.”

“Well, unlike you, I’ll actually get to finish with this book.”

Blood Boiling Anger

Your worst fight lasted two weeks.

Actually, neither of you can even remember what the fight was about.

But everyone around you, the boys, Lily, and Marlene all could.

You had brought up how Sirius was shamelessly flirting with someone and Sirius had called you a bore.

It was an immature fight, but it was enough for you to have screaming matches with each other.

When Sirius was angry, he had tunnel vision. He couldn’t hear or think or anything.

A vein popped out on his neck when he yelled. He once saw it in his reflection and nearly cowered because he recognized the same vein. It was the same one that throbbed when his own Father was angry. 

You had a horrible habit of running away from confrontation.

“So now you’re just going to ignore me?”

“Maybe if I try hard enough, you’ll go away. You’re giving me head pain.”

It was nights of gritting teeth and angry rants to your friends who had to sit there helplessly.

By the last night. You hadn’t slept together in weeks and the sleepless nights were getting to you.

“I can’t take this god damn fucking fighting.”

“As if you’re some perfect princess, darling.” Sirius spit out the words.

“You. You! Are so fucking exhausting! As if you were made to do nothing but fight and bicker! Maybe we just need to...” You whipped around to look at Sirius whose faced looked as if it were slapped.

Sirius thought of your words.

He thought of how you thought he was ‘made’ for fighting.

He thought back to all the spiteful words he said, the jabs and digs.

And to his horror, he felt like his mother.

It was silent.

Silent until you heard a broken

“Are you leaving me?”

It left you speechless. You weren’t sure what to say.

“What?”

“Then go on, leave.”

You rushed forwards to hold Sirius’ face in your hands, forcing him to look you in the eyes.

“No, no. No. Sirius, I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere.”

Fighting with Sirius was never fun, no it wasn’t, but it was worth it. Every insecure complaint, every tired fight, every blood-boiling argument. It was worth it.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Teenagers Part 1

Harry Potter AU 

Summary: Request fic:  Regulus had never noticed you before. You are the opposite of him in almost every way. It also doesn't help that you are the sister of the one person that Regulus is most annoyed by. Now its time to learn if opposites really attract?

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M

Song in Chapter: Take it like a man by Cher

________

A new school year…

You were more than thrilled going back to school. This year was going to be bittersweet. It was James and Sirius’ last year at school. Knowing that your brother and best friend would be leaving soon was enough to make you dread going back but you decided to not think about it. You would think about it the next year when you had to make all new friends. The less you thought about your friends leaving, the better off than you were. In your years at school, you had grown incredibly close to Sirius, Remus, and Lily. You were close to James anyway so not seeing your brother every day was going to be horrible the following year.

I’ll be happy this year.

You muttered to yourself as Sirius and James came running up behind you.

“Y/N THERE YOU ARE!”

Sirius yelled your name before throwing his arms around you in a bone-crushing hug.

“Sirius, you saw me five minutes ago.”

You coughed as he dramatically patted your head. James, Remus, and Lily finally caught up and was chuckling at the scene. They were so used to Sirius trying to drive you crazy that it was nothing new.

“Pads, can you not crush our sister?”

James asked with a smirk. Lily nodded.

“Yeah, Sirius, she is turning blue. “

Sirius quickly put you back on your feet and petted your cheek. He was giggling hard at the annoyed expression on your face.

“Better now?”

You nodded, rolling your eyes.

“You are going to be the death of me one day. People are going to keep thinking that you are my boyfriend.”

You bent down to pick up the book that Sirius knocked out of your hand. Sirius muttered a quiet apology as he wrapped his arm around your neck.

“It's fine. I’m used to it.”

Sirius smiled again.

“What’s wrong with me as a boyfriend?”

You motioned to Remus.

“Well nothing except if I am dating you I am also dating Remus which makes this one weird love triangle where I feel like I am dating my brothers. We aren’t that creepy are we?”

Sirius and Remus were both dying laughing at that comment while James shook his head.

“No, we aren’t that creepy. I would, for the record, be okay with the three of you in some weird triangle. At least I know my sister would be taken care of.”

Sirius grinned and patted your head again.

“We take care of her plenty enough.”

“He’s right, James. I feel like I have three older brothers. That could be the reason guys are scared to date me.”

You said with a smile as Sirius’ attention went elsewhere.

“Why is my brother staring at us?”

Sirius asked. Your eyes went in the direction of where Sirius was looking. Regulus Black stood with his little band of Slytherin “tyrants” (as James called them). Sure enough, the younger Black brother’s eyes were locked on Sirius and yourself. Evan and Barty leaned forward and whispered something to Regulus.

“He may not be looking at us.”

Sirius frowned. There was no denying that Regulus’ eyes were locked not only on Sirius but you.

“He’s actually looking at Y/n.”

Remus commented. You frowned. Regulus didn’t even know who you were or at least he pretended not to. It didn’t matter that the two of you were in the same year...neither of you spoke to the other. You didn’t really count him telling you to “move” in third year as talking.

“Looks like he’s lost.”

James said. Sirius hadn’t said another word but carefully watched his brother’s face. There was something different about that expression and Sirius wasn’t for sure what it was. Regulus didn’t show many expressions so seeing his brother looking like he had been hit by a book at the sight of you was rather amusing.

“If he had a crush on Y/n I am going to strangle him.”

James growled. You burst out laughing.

“Calm down, James. He doesn’t even know who I am.”

“Oh, I’m sure he does.”

James muttered as Sirius finally gave up and waved at his younger brother. Regulus scowled at Sirius before turning and tugging Evan and Barty with him.

“I guess he doesn’t miss me.”

Sirius said, sounding a little sad. You sighed. Part of you was still furious with the Black family for how they did Sirius. They didn’t realize how wonderful of a boy that he was. You wrapped your arm through his.

“Come on, let's go find a place on the train. Forget them.”

Meanwhile…

Regulus sat down beside Evan. His mind was stuck on his brother and the girl that was with him. Regulus wasn’t oblivious to the fact that his brother had a bit of a “hoe phase” going on but you, whoever you were, seemed different. There was something about the girl that Sirius had his arm around that really didn’t scream “I am Sirius Black’s type.”

“Who was the girl with my brother?”

Regulus finally asked. Evan looked up with a scowl.

“You know her.”

Regulus crossed his arms over his chest feeling annoyance building. While Evan had been his best friend since childhood, there were times that Regulus wanted nothing more than to punch him.

“Yeah? Well, I wouldn’t be asking you if I had the foggiest idea who she was now would I?”

Barty grinned from his place on the opposite bench.

“She is Y/n Potter. James’ sister...you know that git who stole your brother.”

Regulus’ mouth dropped. The last time that he had really looked at you...you were different...childish. Now you were...Regulus didn’t even know what word to use but the strange feeling in his stomach told him that it was something good.

Evan finally spoke again.

“She’s had one hell of a glow up over the summer. I can’t believe that I am saying this but she is pretty. She used to remind me of a baby squirrel.”

“A squirrel?”

Regulus questioned. Evan nodded.

“She was always so nervous looking. Now...if she wanted to tie my ass to a chair and give me a lap dance. I really wouldn’t mind. She would have to lose the Gryffindor tie and put on one of mine though.”

Evan smirked when he noticed the expression on Regulus’ face. He had never seen Regulus be the least little bit interested in another girl. Now here he was looking like he wanted to fight for your honor.

“I suggest that the three of you just leave Y/n Potter alone. It won’t end well.”

Severus’ monotone voice said as the boy stepped into the compartment. Evan laughed.

“Just because you are scared to stand up to Potter and his goons don’t mean that we aren’t. Come on Sev, even you have to admit that Y/n is a lovely girl now. Have you seen her ass? A perfect handful.”

Severus rolled his eyes and sat down without further comment. Regulus turned back to Evan.

“Maybe you should ask her for a date if you are that desperate for her attention?”

“You saw her first.”

Regulus rolled his eyes.

“Just because I look at her doesn’t mean that I want her.”

The next morning Regulus woke up with a groan. He had tried to keep his mind off of you the whole previous evening but found his eyes glued to you. To his delight and displeasure, your eyes never flickered in his direction one time.

It also didn’t help that you were in his dreams that night. The whole night your sweet smile was locked on him. Even if you didn’t say a word you were looking at him. No one else but Regulus and he loved every bloody second of it!

Getting involved with her would be stupid….wreckless. Mother and father would be furious. She’s a blood traitor. Her whole family is...I don’t need that.

Regulus muttered as he got dressed. It didn’t matter how many times that he repeated that mantra to himself when he closed his eyes...it was your face that he saw.

Sinking into his place at the Slytherin table by Evan, Regulus silently started going through the motions of acting like he wanted to eat. There were plenty of things for him to think about...school, quidditch, tests...but you were the first thing. Was this what a crush was supposed to feel like because Regulus honestly had no clue.

Finally getting brave enough, he looked up at the Gryffindor table where you sat beside Dorcas Meadows laughing over something Marlene Mckinnon was saying.

Merlin, her smile is pretty…

Regulus thought before internally screaming at himself to stop.

“Hey, Reg, look, it's your woman.”

Evan commented with a smile. Regulus immediately elbowed Evan in the ribs.

“Shut up.”

Evan’s attention went back to the Gryffindor table when Sirius plopped down beside you.

“Something tells me that you need to get a move on if you want her before your brother runs off with her. By the rate he’s going, he’s going to try to marry her.”

Evan commented with a sneer. He had little patience with Sirius and now with the knowledge that Regulus had an interest in a girl for once...Evan wanted to make sure that Regulus got what he wanted for once.

Regulus rolled his eyes as you moved your hand over and landed on Sirius’ plate. He watched as you quickly pulled your arm up looking at the sticky syrup from the waffles that his brother was eating. Regulus couldn’t hear the conversation but it looked like you were giving Sirius the “what for” for having his plate so close to you. Sirius gave you a feeble shrug before taking your hand in his and licking your arm.

Gross…

Regulus thought as you picked up a book and smacked Sirius with it.

That works…

Regulus enjoyed watching you do what he had wanted to do to his brother for ages. When your eyes looked in his direction, Regulus froze. You offered him a small smile before turning back to the conversation with Marlene.

What the hell is going on with me?

Meanwhile,

You couldn’t help but smile at the expression on Regulus’ face. You had caught him looking at you several times but tried to not let him know that you were aware. It was nice seeing a cold glare on his face. Although you had never spoken a word to Regulus and really had no authority to judge him, he always seemed so cold and angry. You were honestly unsure if he knew how to smile. Now here he was staring at you with a stunned expression on his face.

“He’s a cute boy.”

Marlene commented. You looked up.

“Who?”

Marlene glanced over your shoulder to make sure that James, Sirius, and Remus were locked into a deep conversation about a prank before speaking again.

“Regulus.”

Dorcas and Lily both smile.

“He’s been watching you all morning.”

Dorcas added. You blushed and found yourself unable to look at the Slytherin table for a moment. Finally getting brave enough, you looked over again. Regulus had taken off his robes and sat in his black jumper talking to Evan. You rolled your eyes at the mere thought of Evan Rosier. The boy was a git!

Regulus, however, couldn’t have been more lovely. You smiled at just how much he and Sirius resemble each other in addition to their subtle differences. For one, you loved Regulus’ curls. He had apparently let it grow out over the summer and with the longer hair, Regulus reminded you a bit more of his brother. Another difference was Regulus’ eyes. His eyes were darker than Sirius and had more of a “James Dean daydream” look where Sirius was all “devil may care.”

“He must be bored.”

You replied, taking a sip of your drink. Dorcas glanced over her shoulder at the boy.

“Regulus always seems so sad and angry. Maybe you could cheer him up?”

“Like he would want anything to do with me. Besides have you all met my brother? James would fall off of his unicorn if I let Regulus within 8 inches of me.”

Lily smiled.

“He is a big boy. He’ll get over it.”

Marlene leaned closer and wrapped her arm through yours. You couldn’t help but look over at Regulus again. He sat tapping his fingers anxiously. Even his hands were nice-looking...you were in a lot of trouble!

“Here’s what you do...you simply tell him that if he wants your heart then he needs to take it like a man.”

Dorcas nodded.

“Oh, that’s a good one, Marlene. She’s right, Y/n. Before he fights for you, he needs to show you that he can.”

You couldn’t help but laugh.

“You two just ripped off a Cher song.”

“She has good advice and clearly Dorcas and I are on the same page.”

Marlene said with a smile. You quickly gathered your things to head off to class.

“Maybe he and I can go on a date to that new skating rink down in hell.”

You said with a laugh. Both Marlene and Dorcas gave you offended gasps.

“Hell doesn't have to freeze over for a Slytherin and a Gryffindor to be compatible.”

“It will for that one.”

You replied before bidding everyone a fair well and leaving the great hall.

Arriving in Potions, you were never more grateful to get to a class that you really had to focus on. The less that you had to sit and think about the morning's conversation with your friends the better off you would be.

“Good morning, Ms. Potter.”

Professor Slughorn said with a cheerful smile as you stepped into the room. He had been adoring you since the year before when you cracked one of his zany puzzles.

“Good morning, Professor. Did you have a nice summer?”

“Oh, yes my dear. I hope you did as well. I saw Lily and she said that the two of you spent a lot of time together.”

You nodded.

“Yes sir, she’s one of my best friends.”

Professor Slughorn nodded with an approving smile. You couldn’t have asked for a better best friend in his eyes.

“That’s wonderful, my dear. If you will just sit down there, please. I am pairing everyone up with a partner this semester. I’m sure yours will come along shortly.”

“Thank you, sir.”

You replied as you dug your new potions book out of your bag. It wasn’t until Slughorn said Regulus’ name did you look up before looking down.

Of course, he’s in this class. Why not? Merlin help me if he gets sat next to…

“Mr. Black if you will sit with Ms. Potter, please. I am pairing the two of you up this semester.”

FUCK

You screamed in your head, knowing that your face was blushing bright red. Regulus sat down beside you and was dead silent. You peaked at him through your hair. He sat with his hands in front of him on the table. Eventually, you would have to look up at him but right now you didn’t know how quickly that would be.

What if he actually didn’t like you and was just staring because he thought that you were dating Sirius or something? That would be some cruel joke for you. You would be getting all emotionally distraught and downright nervous for no reason.

Dorcas and Marlene’s ripping of Cher lyrics came right back to your head.

Boy, if you want my heart. You gotta take it like a man. Before you fight for us. You gotta show me that you can. So when the lights go dark...I wanna know you understand that if you want my heart you gotta take it like a man...

“You do know how to talk, right?”

Regulus’ voice pulled you from your thoughts. Ah, that’s what his voice sounded like...you loved it already. You couldn’t help but wonder just what the fuck was going on with you? Since when did you get all giddy for some boy that you didn’t know?

You took a deep breath before looking up at Regulus. He looked bored sitting beside you but it looked like his own cheeks were slightly pink.

“Yes, I know how to speak.”

You replied. Regulus anxiously tapped his fingers on the table in front of him.

“Good because it would be one hell of a boring semester if you were mute.”

You automatically frowned.

“I didn’t hear you saying anything.”

Regulus rolled his eyes.

“You’re sassy. Lovely.”

You put your book down in front of you feeling the annoyance build but at the same time, Regulus calling you “sassy” was hilarious.

“You don’t know the half of it.”

You snapped back. A small smile played on his lips. Was he testing your patience or was he trying to get hit with a book the way Sirius did?

“You are friends with my brother aren’t you?”

You nodded.

“We aren’t dating.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

Regulus replied. Internally he was thanking whatever lucky stars that he had shining in his direction. He didn’t have to worry about his older stupid “better looking” brother for once.

“Sorry, that’s usually the first question that most people ask.”

You said, feeling your face flush. Regulus smiled.

“Tell people to mind their own damn business. It works wonders.”

Before you could respond, Professor Slughorn called the class to attention. Both Regulus and yourself turned to face him, ending the conversation that was taking place. You tried to listen to what Slughorn was talking about was busy congratulating yourself on not looking like a total fool.

Boy, will Dorcas and Marlene love this...

______

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[emf005]

Like me for me III

Part 3 of 3 (Its finally here!)

I am so sorry for the wait! Hectic weekend! Here is the final part to Sirius and Y/N's adventure.

Warnings: Bullying, fluff, a bit angst(The bullying and all), Sirius being a sweet heart(Nothing new)

Please tell me is I missed anything!!

I hope you guys enjoy! Let me know in the comments

Xx

He watched you leave.

What had he wanted to say? He had actually found himself enjoying your company that evening, but it was different and he sorta of feared and envied the way his chest had ached when you would laugh at something he said or when you had left the room.

He looked down at the coat in his hands and smiled, but then caught himself after a moment. Was this how James felt when he looked at Lily? Is that what was happening to him?

He made his way up to his dorm room, expecting everyone to be asleep. But not everyone was. James and Remus were sitting on James’ bed talking when he walked in. James had a sly smile on his face while Remus had a calculating one.

Sirius walked around and sat down on the edge of his bed.

“Why are you two still up?” He asked, kicking off his shoes.

“Waiting for you.” James smirked. “So….”

“So?”

“You were nice to her, weren't you?” Remus asked, narrowing his eyes. “You didn’t try anything?”

“I’m offended, Mooney. Do you think I’d do that to one of your close friends.” Remus didn't answer. “Hurtful. And of course not. We just wandered the halls and talked.” He set the mug he had had hot chocolate in on the table beside the bed. Remus relaxed a bit, believing his friend.

“Good. I don’t need you wrecking her.”

Sirius didn’t respond, still thinking about you. Why was he so caught up in thinking about you?Your laugh, your smile, the sadness in your eyes when you talked about your family. The rage in your face when you talked about the way men treated your mother. Just you in general.

“Sirius!” He shook himself out of his head.

“Huh?”

“What happened? You feeling ok, mate?” James asked. “I’ve been calling you for five minuets, you were just standing there.

“Was I?” He looked down at his truck. When had he moved? “Strange.”

“You were thinking about Y/N, weren't you?” James’ smirk spread across his face.

“What? No of course not.” He tried to cover up quickly.

“Merlin, you were! You like her, don’t you!” Remus raised an eyebrow.

“What? No! Why would I? She’s great and all. Sweet, nice, pretty smile, addictive laugh, and all-” he stopped, hearing the words coming out of his mouth. He plopped down on his bed. “I like her, don't I?”

“‘Fraid so, mate.”

“How's that even possible? I just started to talk with her tonight!”

“Not exactly true,” Remus said. “You’ve had small conversations with her. Seen her around Marlene and Lily and I. And don’t think we haven’t noticed the way you look at her sometimes.”

“We have?” James asked. Remus rolled his eyes. If James ever had any kids he prayed they wouldn’t be as oblivious as him.

“Yes, James, we have. You’ve always been interested in her, I think. You just realize it now, though. So what are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing.” He answered quickly. Remus narrowed his eyes. “Listen. She probably doesn't like me back and she isn’t interested in a relationship. She wants actual love. Like personality and stuff. I mean, my personality is flawless, but there is no way I’m her type. I mean, she’s smart, a literal genius, and I’m a flirt.”

Remus rolled his eyes and stood up.

“So what, you're going to ignore it until it goes away.”

“Excellent idea, Mooney!”

“Sirius, that's not how that works.”

“Sure it is! If you ignore something it goes away!”

“Name one thing that goes away if you ignore it.” He thought for a minute.

“Cuts.” Remus rolled his eyes again, but couldn’t argue anything. Sirius and you were both going to end up getting hurt in one way or another and he didn’t want to be around when it happened. But he knew he would have to be. He would have to be around to clean up and fix the mess you two made, like he always was doing.

You woke up the next day later than you normally would have. Given you had come in around five-ish and fell asleep around five thirty.

You quickly tossed on one of your brother’s old sweatshirts that you had stolen from him before he died. He was an incredibly tall boy for his age and had a stronger, more muscular build, so the sweatshirt was literally falling off of you. You threw on a pair of leggings and your fuzzy boots, leaving your hair however it was. Luckily, you were just in time for lunch down at the Great Hall and were so grateful. The last thing you had last night was that hot chocolate, but you hadn’t had anything since you and Sirius had shared that plate of food half way through the dance last night.

You walked down the stairs to the Great Hall, expecting everything to be back to normal. Getting ready, you had convinced yourself that Sirius had just been nice last nice. ‘We should hang out more’. That's just what you said to be nice. Nothing was really going to-”

“Hi, Y/N.” You looked over to where Irius and the boys were sitting. You smiled and waved.

“Hey, Sirius! Hi, James. Hey, Remus.” You sat down besides Remus and Marlene who was sitting across from Lily who was by James.

“How’d the dance go for you? You disappeared half way through.” Marlene joked suggestively. You rolled your eyes at your friend as she eyed Sirius and wiggled her eyebrows.

“It was fun. We just went for a walk, get your mind out of the damn gutter.” You yawned and took a drink of the goblet in front of you. You smiled sadly at Sirius, apologizing. He smiled back and turned to Remus.

“I want to hear everything.” She said, shaking your shoulder.

“Mar, if you don’t leave me alone and let me eat, you will get a fork in the eye.” Her hands dropped from your shoulder and she let you eat, knowing your threat wasn’t a bluff. You ate the food you had put on your plate and talked with Lily and the boys, more than you normally would’ve. Things definitely weren’t going back to normal, and you can’t say you hated it, or even disliked it for that matter. When you were finished eating, Marlene pulled you and Lily away from the table.

“Ok. Spill!” She said sitting you down in the common room by the fire.

“There’s nothing to spill, Mar. What are you looking for?”

“You went with your crush to the biggest dance of the year. What do you mean there is nothing to spill? You were out till five in the morning!”

“How’d you know that?”

“I woke up when you came in. Now we want everything.”

“I would rather hear about your nights.”

“I’m glad I went with James,” Lily said with a smile. “Now come on, Y/N!”

“We just hung out, there is nothing more to tell!”

“You still like him though.”

“Well… yeah, I mean, of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Then there has to be something more!” You stood up and brushed off your pants and pushed up your glasses.

“There is nothing more, and everything is just going to go back to the way it had been before the dance. It changed nothing, I’m sad to report.” You turned and left the common room, having no clue how completely wrong you had been.

Over the next few weeks you and the boys became closer and closer. So close that you started to go on trips with them to Homestead and sit with them in class. You often caught Marlene giving you glances with suggestive facial expressions, but you would shoot her a glare and defend that they were just being nice. And, unbeknownst to you, James was doing the same exact thing to Sirius. And every time he saw James doing it he would scowl and then repeatedly hit him and tell him to shut it.

It was mid-may now and the snow was all gone and the flowers were starting to bloom. Sweater weather was now officially weather and it was now up to light jackets, except you. You stayed in your hibernated state, all bundled up in your oversized sweaters and sweatshirts. And now the taunting for your looks was back. Today had been terrible. The taunting was the worst you had ever encountered and all you could do was hold your head up and walk away.

You were sitting by the lake with your books spilt out before you and were studying for an upcoming test. Really, you didn’t have to study for it, but like your father, you felt better learning something or reviewing something.

“Aw, so this is where she runs off to everyday?” You heard the familiar taunting voice of Lucius Malfoy.

“Leave me alone, Malfoy.”

“Tsk tsk tsk. Filthy little, mudblood needs to learn her place.” he put a foot on your book and you sighed, reigning in your temper.

“Malfoy, please get your shoe off my book.”

“Giving me orders now?”

“No. Hence the usage of ‘please’. Perhaps get your head out of your a-”

“Silencio.” You kept talking but no noise came out. Your hand latched to your throat as you kept trying to talk, but still nothing came out. You looked up at him and he looked so smugly pleased with himself. “That's better. Now there's no ugly little Mudblood know it all noise.”

Tears stung your eyes as you stood up and bolted away, his laughing following you as you bolted through the grounds and castle to the dorm room.

You opened the Common room door and hid your face as you sped walked to your dorm room, trying to escape without notice. Of course, being the Marauders' friends, that never worked well for you.

“Hey, Y/N!” Sirius said, hanging off the back of the couch. Remus looked up from the book he was reading and smiled at you, but you just kept walking. “Y/N?” You stormed up to your room and slammed your door shut and then proceeded to lock yourself in the bathroom.

Sirius and Remus looked at each other before scrambling up and walking up to the dorm room. They knocked on the door. There was no answer.

“Y/N?” Remus asked.” There was still nothing. Someone cleared their throat from behind them. They turned to see Marelene and Lily standing there with their arms crossed over their chests.

“So, do we even want to know?”

“Y/N came running through the common room and then stormed up here and now she isn;t answering.”

“Did she say anything?”

“Didn;t even acknowledge us.”

“That's odd,” Marlene muttered. “She told me she was going to be studying all day by the lake.”

“She didn’t have any books with her when she came through.” Remus said. The pieces fell together for Marlene and Lily.

“Go get her books? I’ll try and see what happened.” Marlene nodded and walked back down the stairs.

“What? Do you know what happened?”

“Possibly. I’ll be back. Din’t do something stupid.” She disappeared behind the door and left Sirius and Remus standing there.

She shut the door behind her and saw the empty space.

“Y/N?” There was no response. She walked to the bathroom door and knocked. “Y/N/N. Are you in here?” There was a thunk in the bathroom and a click of the lock. You opened the door and stepped out looking disheveled and your face was all blotched. “Oh, Y/N/N, what happened?” You sniffle noiselessly and hung your head lower. “Y/N? Can you tell me?” You shook your head. “Here come sit.” She pulled you to her bed and sat you down and she sat besides you. “Why not?”

Your eyes scanned the room. You grabbed a pen and paper and started to write.

I’ve been silencioe-d and I can’t reverse it because I can’t speak.

“Oh. Let's fix that.” She grabbed her wand and muttered the counter spell. A terrible sob ripped through your throat and you gasped. Not only did the spell make you unable to talk, but it restricted you breathing. Almost as if you were in a very tight corset, only the corset was inside of you. “Better?”

“Much,” you croaked out, your voice raw from not using it and all the crying you had been doing.

“Who did it?”

“M-Malfoy.” She clenched her jaw. Oh how she would have just loved to sock him right in the jaw.

“Anything else I should know about?”

“I left my books by the lake. He stepped on them.”

“Of course he did. Marlene is getting them.” You nodded and played with your fingers. Do you want to get ready for dinner? It's in a few minutes. Maybe some food will make you feel better?” You shook your head.

“I just want to go to sleep.”

“Ok. Do you want me and M-”

“I’m fine, Lily. Go enjoy dinner, I’m just going to-” you cleared your throat, “-take a shower and go to bed, if that's alright.” She was hesitant but stood up and nodded.

“You know where we are if you need us.”

“Uh, could you not mention this to anyone. If you have to Mar, but her at the most.”

“I think Sirius and Remus-”

“Will understand. Please, Lily. You know how I feel about getting picked on already. I don’t need them making it worse by attempting to make it better.”

“Alright. I won’t say anything. But I’m going to tell Maerlene.”

“If you gotta.”

“I’ll see you in a bit, Y/N. Alright?” you nodded and moved to your stuff, pulling out some clothes to change into after your shower. But while she thought they were sleep clothes, they most certainly were not.

Lily left the dormitory and walked down to the common room as Marlene was walking in with your books.

“I’m going to take these up to the dorm. How's she doing?”

“She’ll live. She said she’s just going to shower and then go to sleep. She looks exhausted.” Marlene looked down at the books in her hands.

“Maybe I shouldn’t take these up to her then.”

“I doubt she’ll even look at them.” Marlene shrugged and went up stairs to drop them off on your bed.

“So what happened?”

“She asked me not to say anything.”

“But-” Remus started but Lily cut him off.

“If she wants you to know, she’ll tell you herself. You know how she gets, don;t put me in the middle here.”

They wanted to argue with her, but couldn’t. She was right and neither of them wanted to put her in that position.

Xx

Later that night you woke up. Everyone was asleep and the events from that day were starting to make their way back to the front of your brian. You sighed and stood up, grabbing the small bag you had set next to your bed just in case this had happened. You made your way to the restroom and quickly began to get ready.

You first put on the flowery dress, it was your favorite one. A navy blue with white flowers that fell off your shoulders. You then, attempted, to comb through your hair which ended up in a classic side braid, looking as close to alright as it could get to without real effort.

Then you added a light amount of makeup. You sighed at your reflection. You felt better. You weren’t exactly sure why, but you just did. Maybe it was because you actually believed what Lucius said. Maybe you thought the makeup and clothes helped you, they always did make you feel more confident.

You grabbed one of your textbooks and ran out of the room and down to the common room where you took a seat in front of the fire and opened it up. You felt comfortable. Your dress was breathable and was longer so you really didn;t have to worry about flashing the amount of non-existent students in the room. The fire was warm against your skin and the smell of the natural Gryffindor pine filled the room to no end. You felt at peace.

And then you heard the crack of the second to last step. You froze, waiting for whoever it was to take another step or say something. It took a moment but the all too familiar voice of your crush filled the room.

“Sorry. I didn;t realize anyone was down here.”

“It's alright,” You turned and looked at him.

“Y/N?”

“The one and only,” you joked. You looked at you up and down before settling on your face again and walking further into the common room.

“Why are you all dressed up? I mean, you look nice but it's three in the morning. ANd you're reading alone in an empty common room.” He sat down besides you and you tucked your legs to your chets to give him room to sit. “Or are you waiting for someone? A date?” You let out a loud laugh.

“Sirius, no one is that desperate. Well, maybe you will this winter.”

“Ha ha ha. You’re so funny. Seriously though, what's up with the outfit?” You shrugged and played with the page of your worn book.

“Just had a moment. Happens sometimes. Need to dress up a bit and not be afraid to show a little style. Ya know?”

“What happened this afternoon?”

“Straight to the point as usual I see.”

“I’m serious. We were worried you just ran out of the room.”

“I don’t want to make a bigger deal out of this than it is. I am sorry about that though. But I couldn;t talk.”

“What was the rush?”

“Please just drop it, Sirius.”

“If you're asking me to drop it then it's bad. What happened? Was someone picking on you again?” You didn’t answer. You opted to, instead, hug your knees tighter and look away from him. You had a hard time lying as it was. You couldn’t do it to him. “I’ll take that as a yes. Who?”

“It's fine, Sirius. Please don’t-”

“Y/N,” he grabbed your shoulder and you looked up at him. A mistake on your part, now you couldn’t look away. “Don’t try to shoulder this on your own. Please?” You stayed silent for a moment but knew you weren’t going to win and sighed. Your body collapsed and your head fell onto his shoulder.

“I was studying at the lake and Lucius came up to me and started… well, ya know.”

“What did he say?” You remained silent, the memory replaying in your mind, hitting all the same places it had before. “Y/N. What did he say?”

“The usual.”

“You say that alot but never what the usual actually is.”

“Well, he called me a nerd, and um… ugly… and… stuff like that.” Sirius knew you eren;t telling him the whole story, but didn’t want to press any further, for both your sakes. Tears stung your eyes again and you pressed your head further into his shoulder.

“So you got dressed up.. Why?”

“It makes me feel better sometimes. Gives me more confidence even if I’m not around anyone.” He nodded and rubbed your arm. “Especially if I’m not around anyone.”

“You're around me and you seem fine.”

“Heh. Yeah well, I trust you. Plus you're not going to be into me ever so I mean…”

“What makes you say that?” You laughed. “I’m being serious.” You looked up at him and nodded.

“I don;t know. James’ impression of you seemed a bit better.”

“Y/N.”

“Fine, sorry. Not the right time.”

“So answer the question.”

“I think I would rather not.”

“Why?” You stayed silent. “Y/N, why?”

“BecauseI’maknowitallmudbloodnoonelikes.” you mumbled incoherently.

“In English this time please.” You took a breath and let it out, building up the courage.

“Because I’m a know-it-all little mudblood that nobody likes.” He stared at you for a moment.

“Who told you that?” You didn;t say anything. “Y/N!” His voice was sharp. You’d never heard him get angry before, but this was definitely anger.

“Malfoy, today. But others have said it.”

“Have you-”

“Ever told anyone? No. What's the point? It won’t stop it. My social status is going to follow me around my entire life, and I might as well accept the fact that this is what I’m going to be called.”

“Do you think Lily deserves to be called that?”

“God no! No one does!”

“Then why did you call yourself one?” You didn’t answer and looked away. He moved so he was sitting in front of you. He pulled your chin up. “Don’t call yourself that. Please. Don;t believe it, either. It's a terrible slur, which I know you know that. And you have to know that none of that other stuff is true either.”

“Sirius-”

“No. Let me finish. You are so extraordinary, Y/N. You are beautiful and stylish and smart and funny. There is not one bad trait about you at all, other than the fact that you are incredibly infuriating when you want to be. You're stubborn and witty and brave and are far too good for anyone here to know you let alone be your friend.”

“Sirius, you don’t have to lie to me. It's not that big of a deal.”

“I’m not lying, Y/N. I would never lie to you. And if people are saying these things to you, then yes. It is a big deal. It's a huge deal. You are one of my closest friends. ANd no one hurts my friends on any sort of level and just gets away with it.”

“I’m not worth that much hassle.”

“Yes you are. Why don’t you get that?” Your mind wondered back to when Lucius spelled you earlier. “What else did he do to you today?”

“Huh?”

“You are a terrible liar, and you got all distancey. What else happened?”

“Um… It’s nothing major, just a bit of fun, really… I guess-”

“Y/N.”

“He just shut me up.”

“And by that you mean…”

“I mean that he.. Well… he performed silencio and it's not that big of de- Sirius, sit down!” You hissed at him and tugged on his arm to pull him back to the floor.

“Is that why you didn’t answer when me and Remus were talking to you?”

“Yeah. And I couldn’t perform the counter of it because I was silenced and… Lily fixed it so it-”

“It shouldn't have happened.”

“Why are you making such a big deal about this? I get minor hexes all the time.” He raised an eyebrow and you cursed under your breath.”It's fine, Sirius. Really.”

His heart was breaking. Over these past few months he had fallen more and more for you. But the way you feared to be loved because of your looks always kept his emotions inside. Well, that and the thought of losing you as a friend and rejection. He may not have seemed like it, but he had a terrible time dealing with rejection thanks to his home life. But seeing you here, in front of him with wide panicked eyes that were just filled with worry and hurt, it was just too much for him.

He sat back down in front of you and took your hands in his. You stared at them for a moment before looking up at him. He had the most serious face you had ever seen.

“You promise me you’re alright.” you nodded, a bit dazed if you were being honest.

“Yeah, I-I’m fine.” He nodded and squeezed your hands quickly before standing.

“I’m just making sure. If you're not you can always tell me, you know that.” You nodded and watched him leave. “Good night, Y/N. Get some rest, alright?”

“Yeah. You too.” You watched him for a moment and when he got to the stairs you sprung up from where you were sitting. “Sirius!” He turned.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you continue to hang out with me after the dance?” You worriedly asked. “It's not because you saw that I could be pretty if I tried, was it?” He walked back over to you.

“Of course not. I don;t use people like that, Y/N. I’m actua;;y a bit hurt you’d think that.”

“I’m sorry, I just, I can never be too careful. Last year my brother and I had a conversation about it all and he said that now that he was exposed to it at him at home, he noticed it all over the place.”

“Last year?” You nodded, still in your own head. “Y/N, how long ago did your brother die?” You looked up at him, confused, and then you realized what you had said. You were the literal worst at secrets about your home life and lying.

“June. When I got home from school.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I-”

“It's fine, Sirius. Really. He lived a good life. He should’ve gotten to live it longer but…” You drifted off for a moment. “But, he actually made sure I was keeping myself safe here. He’s always been protective. Especially since our dad and… it hadn’t been easy on us, but especially him. He just felt like it was his job to protect me at all costs.” You looked down at your dress. “One of the reasons I don’t dress how I would like to.” You shrugged. “But I’m just… I’m just always cautious. I wasn’t trying to insinuate that you were personally a bad person or anything like that. I am really-”

“Y/N,” you stopped talking and looked up at him shyly.

“Sorry. I’m talking too much. I do that if I get nervous and I get nervous around you sometimes and-” You buried your face in your hands. You were tired and your emotions and brian was still a scrambled mess from earlier.

Sirius’ breath hitched when he heard you say that last part.

“You do?”

“Yes?” You peaked up through your fingers at him and groaned. “No getting out of this. Ok. Sirius, I-I like you. For a while I guess, and it's really early in the morning and I’m not in my right mind so I can say this without exactly being too embarrassed or anything or-” he put a hand over your mouth to stop you from talking more.

“You like me?”You nodded. He removed his hand. “How long?”

“Third year. When I started hanging around you and James and Remus more.” You mumbled. “I’m sorry. I ruined this. I know! I’m a terrible terrible person!”

“No, you didn;t.”

“Yes I did. You can;t feel the same and I just confessed that I-”

“Why can’t I?”

“Because you can’t. It wouldn’t make sense. I mean. I’m just me and you’re you.” He raised his eyebrows. “You're going to make me feed your ego aren;t you? Sirius, you are perfect.” He waited for you to start complimenting his looks which is what all the girls around school seemed to do, though he didn;t mind that. “You're funny, and charismatic. You fucking light up a room when ou walk in. You're constantly worried about all your friends and the way your brain works when you're figuring out your next prank is incredible! You’re cool and fun and thats who you deserve to be with. Someone cool and fun.” You wrapped your hands around your waist. “Not someone like me.”

“Well, for your information I do like a cool and fun girl. She’s also beyond smart and is strong, and nice.”

“Way to rub it in, thank you for that.”

“Its you, Y/N.”

“Huh?” He put his hands on your arms.

“I like you. I think I have for a while. I always found you interesting, but when we started to talk at the dance, actually talk, I think I fell hard then.” Your mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand. Why?”

“Because you’re you. You are perfect inside and out. Beautiful whether you are in sweats or a dress. You're so incredibly smart and you get this crease in your eyebrows when you're concentrating,” he poked between your brows where the crease had formed. You relaxed your face for a second, only for it to re-appear. He smiled. “I like you a lot, Y/N.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I guess the only thing to do now is ask: Do you want to go out with me?” You smiled.

“Yes!” He smiled too.

“Perfect!” He felt tension drop from his shoulders as you hugged him tightly.

“Thank you,” you mumbled quietly.

“For what?”

“Liking me for me. For once, I don’t feel afraid of turning out like my mum.” He squeezed you back.

“That’ll never happen as long as I’m around, Y/N.” You smiled wider. And he kept that promise and you could dress how you wanted now without fear because you knew that no matter how you looked, he wouldn’t care. He wouldn’t care because he liked you and not the way you looked.

[cloudywitchh]

Hurricane-- James Potter song fic

James Potter x Fem!Ravenclaw!Reader

WordCount: 592 words. sorry thats really short hahah

So ok this is my first oneshot lol i know its bad :(

Please give tips bc i know it sucks hahah

Basically, im whipped for James Potter and so I was like why not have my first fan fic be about him. And also, I'm kinda a huge country music fan, and lately, I've really been enjoying Luke Combs music.

So this is a song fic based on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoZWTEXRgKo&ab_channel=LukeCombs

All song and some character credit is to Luke Combs and JK Rowling (even though I dont support her lol)

I will say tho, the end is a bit different haha

Warnings! Kinda angsty but not really lmao i think thats it but lmk if I'm missing anything

----

Hadn't had a good time Since you know when

James Potter knew that he broke up with Y/N Y/L/N for one reason and one reason only. Lily Evans.

His longtime crush of 6 years finally showed some interest in him. To him, it was the only option. Sure he was in love with Y/N, but he believed that he loved the firey Gryffindor more than the perfect Ravenclaw he already had.

When Lily Evans broke up with him, he became lost. And who wouldn’t loose themselves? He had broken up with the girl of his dreams, and the girl he had been infatuated with since first year had broken up with him. He locked himself in his dorm, only coming out for classes. He really hadn't gone out and had fun since his breakup with Y/N. With Lily it was always study.

Got talked into goin' out With hopes you were stayin' in

"Come on Prongs," Sirius groaned, "You haven't gone out in like 2 months."

"You know, he's rights Prongs. I think you'll just be happier having gone out. Besides, doesn't she normally study on Saturdays and goes to Hogsmeade on Sundays?"

"Well yeah, I guess," James mumbled, face still buried in the pillow. He guessed all he could do was hope that you stayed back in the castle and studied like you always did when you were together.

I was feeling like myself for the first time In a long time

For the first time in a while, he felt good. He felt happy.

Laughing with his friends, just enjoying the day.

"Prongs, can you go get the next round of butterbeer? I'll buy you some treacle tarts."

"Yeah, sure. I'll be right back boys" James replied as he got up and begun to head over to the counter.

'Til I bumped into some of your friends Over there talkin' to mine

"Thanks, Rosmerta! Sirius says he's still open to date once he graduates"

"No problem James, anytime. and tell Black I'm alright." The beautiful barmaid said to James as he started back to his booth. Of course, with his luck, the three boys he had left, had become three boys and four very familiar Ravenclaws.

Katy Peirce, Y/N's best friend.

Sophia Maren, Y/N's childhood best friend.

Aralyn Vance. Y/N's other best friend.

Then you rolled in with your hair in the wind Baby, without warning I was doin' alright but just your sight Had my heart stormin'

But of course, of the four, James' eyes weren't on Katy, Sophia, or Aralyn, but on Y/N Y/L/N.

Everything stopped the moment you looked back at him.

Your Y/E/C eyes bright and happy, your Y/H/C hair in a cute messy-type of bun, your Y/S/C skin tan and glowing.

Every laugh, every kiss, every late-night conversation rolled back.

The moon went hiding Stars quit shining Rain was dropping Thunder 'n lightning

He still loved you and everyone knew it.

But when Micheal Patil came up behind the group of girls, and pulled your gaze away from James to him, from uncomfortable to the most loving look, he realized he'd lost you.

When Micheal Patil sat you down in the corner booth, he realized he'd lost you.

When you kissed Micheal Patil, it hit him, he'd lost you.

You wrecked my whole world when you came And hit me like a hurricane

The boys turned their attention from the couple in the corner, to their broken best friend. But he didn't care, it hit him like a hurricane.

You would never be his again.

----

Ok, so I know that wasn't the best but I'm kinda proud I actually finished one for once hahah.

[embrassemoi]

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 18

Pairings: Sirius B, Remus L, [F]Reader   CW: mentions of abuse, throwing up, depression, horrible coping mechanisms, implied sexual references   A/N: Read CW for this chap.

【 Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 】

Chapter 18: Love Isn’t a Magic Potion

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February 14th, 1976

There wasn’t quite another person like James Potter who knew what unrequited love felt like.

After years of harbouring feelings for Lily, making a fool of himself, his failed attempts of trying to impress her; she never seemed to take interest. Lily always sent him disgusted looks, never passing up the opportunity to call him a dirty arrogant toe-rag.

And sure, it phased him sometimes; her words cutting deep, but despite it all, James still believed in the fairytales, the sparks, the magic of true love, finding your soulmate — your better half. His parents were his main inspiration for love. Years — decades they’d been together and still, the love they held for one another, so fierce and unstoppable, it even shocked James at times.

A long time ago, when he truly understood the concept of love, he made a promise that he wouldn’t settle for anything but for the fairytales, the sparks, the magic of true love, finding his soulmate — his better half.

He wanted all of it. The good days, the bad days, the glitter and sparkles, the cheesy one-liners; long walks on the beach, nursing them back to health after they caught the flu, watching the sunsets, dancing in the rain — even the stupid petty arguments. He wanted all of it.

No matter how long it took to find them, he would; after all, everyone had their person.

Maybe that’s why he chased after Lily for so long — hoping for that romantic love — the love that’s made for movie screens — the type of love that conquered all. But he wouldn’t continue to beat on a dead horse, especially if Lily didn’t want that.

He wouldn’t force her and certainly, he wouldn’t harass her.

But, James would consider himself lucky, he found his friends — they were already his platonic soulmates and he’d go to the ends of the earth for each of them. His parents, the Marauders, Marlene, now Whiskers; he was always surrounded by only the purest amount of love.

He was never a person to cover up his emotions — hardly, that is. He wore his heart proudly on his sleeve, never once letting others dictate his life and the way that he loved. He laid himself bare, open, and there was a beauty to it that words couldn’t describe.

Love truly conquered all, whether it be romantic or platonic.

But to the women that fell in love with Sirius Black, well — there wasn’t quite another group of people like them who knew what unrequited love felt like — not even James ‘Oi, Evans!’ Potter could compare. 

Love is shit.

Love is cruel.

Love is unfair.

Sirius would go on date after date. One fleeting look and soon enough, he had women at his feet, falling for his devilish charm that captivated them in seconds.

They swooned over his chiselled jaw and thick glossy hair; eyes so mysterious with profound, moonlit mirth. The epicanthic folds highlighted his sharp and pointed look that they swore cut through them, searching through the deepest part of their souls.

He was a part or used to be a part of the oldest and most noble Pureblood families in the country. He was rich, of high status, French, could speak five languages and a mischievous bad boy straight out of your classic Muggle film.

Falling in love with Sirius Black was an easy task, so simple and it could happen in a blink of an eye. The realization would come either fast or slow depending on the poor lovesick git who let themselves fall.

But getting Sirius Black to return that affection was an impossible task.

He was raised as a gentleman and would play the part before becoming bored. They were all fillers, the people he dated.

He would admit it, he’s a bit of a dick.

He never fell in love with anyone he’s dated so far — never got past the fancying stage and even then, it was never strong. It never made him feel those butterflies that James described them as. His heart never jumped, never sped up fast, he never felt his skin heat nor did their laugh ever put him into a trance — nothing like what he described them to be like. If anything, he’d always break it off with the girls he found himself getting too comfortable with; always severing it before it became too much.

Although, it technically never was his fault that they fell in love. Most of his admirers like to daydream from afar, or they’d make a promise at the beginning — no strings attached.

Well for them, it did. It almost always ended with strings attached with Sirius holding a pair of shiny scissors at the end of fried thread.

He did not believe in the fairytales, the sparks, the magic of true love, finding your soulmate — your better half.

But that doesn't mean he didn’t want it.

But, above all, Sirius Black considered himself to be a realist. Unlike James, he couldn't — he wouldn’t let himself believe in that shit anymore. Love is disappointing and it does nothing but hurt you, nothing but a filler he used to distract himself with, no matter who it was. Love did not fix his fuck ups nor himself.

All of the adoring admirers, the ones that lined up for him, they would all leave if they caught a glimpse of the worst parts of him. The ugly, nasty parts. He used rage as a means of defence, he pushed the people he loves away, he was moody, dramatic and above all, reckless.

All they wanted was to take, use him for his body — they wouldn’t love him if they knew him. The real him: the ugly side along with the beautiful one he wore. The side that wasn’t always adventurous, daring, bold, brave… happy, go-getting.

Nobody would stay for the ugly part of him.

In that regard, Sirius was unloveable. Completely, utterly unloveable.

Currently, the uglier, caged part of Sirius re-emerged as he writhed around in his bed. Eyes moved rapidly behind eyelids, squinted in pain as he squirmed around, clutching the bed sheets tightly. His head flopped from side to side as he was unable to wake; stuck in a nightmare.

“You mudblood lover —” “Don’t call them that!” “Babies, Regulus, babies!” “It’s killing me to stay.” “CRUCI —”

Sirius woke with a jolt, choking on a strangled scream that clawed at his throat. His mind seemed to be encased in a wordless static, muting him to the noise around him as he felt the rapid, hard thumps against his chest. Distantly, he could feel his body raking in waves as the sticky, cold feeling of his sweat dripped from his temple and down the side of his face. It made his hair stick to his forehead uncomfortably yet somehow, despite the sweating and the overwhelming feeling of heat, he felt ice cold.

He swallowed thickly, sniffingly away the stinging growing behind his eyelids but failed as a few stray tears had already settled on his cheeks. Sirius looked around frantically, meeting the familiar red and gold bed sheets that were now pushed off of him as he sat upright in his bed. Red velvet drapes hung around the sides, pulled together as slivers of bright light sliced through them. It made him squint and focus on the surroundings.

Soon enough, it felt like a weight lifted off his chest, marked in unspoken forgiveness once realizing where he was.

You’re safe, his inner voice spoke firmly, It was just a dream. A dream.

“Wakey, wakey Padfoot!”

He had just enough time to wipe the freshly fallen tears away before James ripped back his curtains, jumping into his bed. He drew a deep sigh, avoiding James’ eyes and trained them to look outside.

Upon the grass and mountains, snow sprinkled on much like sugar over a cake. The distant chirping of birds could be heard singing their usual song, or more like an alarm clock, as they soared high in the sky without a worry in the world.

If only Sirius could be a bird, what a simple life he would lead.

“Fuck you,” groaned Remus, “He might be awake, but I’m not.” His eyes clenched in annoyance, throwing his blanket over his head.

“Well aren’t you lovely? Isn’t he, Sirius?”

“The loveliest,” he managed to grit out, throat groggy and dry.

“Shut up!”

“Okay, calm down big bad wolf.”

“Well,” he mocks James, his voice going an octave higher, “This big bad wolf can maul you.”

James beamed brightly, the ever morning person he was, unaffected by Moony’s response. Instead, he padded his way over to him, shaking him before Remus flipped the covers off his body, tackling him into his bed.

“Do you guys think I should cut my hair?” James managed to get out as he gasped. Remus sprawled out on top of him, pinning him in place as he was being crushed from his weight. “I want to make sure I look good for today.”

“You’re always in need of a trim,” Peter called out.

“You look fine,” Remus added, “Besides, you and scissors are not a good move right now.”

Meanwhile, Sirius’ stomach felt hollow, worry ate at his very being before he felt something rise within his throat. Quickly, swinging his legs over the edge, Sirius made his way to the loo in a rush while James and Remus were both distracted.

Peter was there, rifling through the cabinets with his toothbrush dangling from his lips. “Morning,” he said, not quite looking over to him, “Do we have any more toothpaste? I keep telling Prongs not to use so much…”

“Get out,” he managed to say before shoving Peter out of the door, closing it shut. He barely managed to cast a silencing charm before opening the lid of the toilet seat, throwing up. For the most part, Sirius gagged on air before finally attempting to collect himself, preventing hyperventilation.

Foolishly, even up until that dreaded night, Sirius had an ounce of hope. For what exactly, he wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was hope that Regulus might have turned out different, or maybe it was hope that he’d finally be accepted, even though he knew that would never be the case — never with parents like Walburga or Orion.

But every time he dared to dream, to hope, he was always quickly reminded why it hurt. Hope was dangerous, a false sense of reality — a taste of what people dreamt and chase for but could never quite grasp.

It was more addicting than any kind of alcohol he drank — or the girls — or pranks.

Eventually, he got up from the floor, jumped in the shower and followed his morning routine before wrapping a towel around himself and stepped out.

Sirius was drying his hair before catching a glimpse of himself in the large mirror in front of the sink.

Sirius had never been insecure about the way he looked. A part of him, the arrogant and narcissistic part of him knew that he looked good and he’d flaunt it. But there were times like today, where he’d look at himself, but feel as if he’s looking at a familiar face that wasn’t his — a monster reflected back.

He wondered if this is what Moony felt like.

For a moment, Sirius let his face rest, allowing the helpless, loitering fear and guilt he felt engrave its way onto the smooth surface of his skin.

The eyes looking back at him today were his father’s, his hair reminded him too much of Regulus, his high cheekbones reminded him of Walburga and the tired, slightly crazed look reminded him of Bellatrix.

A member of the Black family, that's what people saw when they first looked at Sirius, the heir of the most noble and ancient house of Black.

Sirius Orion Black.

Orion Black… Even his name made him want to cry out in rage. Another reminder.

Pushing back his wet hair, he studied the faded scar that disappeared into his hairline.

It was more apparent than ever that Sirius had scars.

But unlike James, whose scars were from happy memories of the Quidditch pitch, or Peter, whose only scars were from chopping chocolate for a fancy baking recipe — and lastly, Remus, whose scars were visible, laid out for everyone to see, Sirius’ scars were invisible.

He wore them day in and day out without anyone ever knowing.

With a blink, he drowned out his thoughts immediately; his dreams, his past, his thoughts were for another time.

He sucked in a breath, clicking the door open.

Remus was the only other person still in the dorm. He stood in front of the mirror, buttoning up his white school shirt before ducking down and grabbed his bag, shoving in books, his wand and any other loose pages of parchment that he assumed was for his little study group.

“Where’s Wormy and James?” He asked, not liking the way his voice sounded wobbly and hoarse. His eyes no longer peered up at his chap, instead looking around the room. Anywhere but his face.

Thankfully, Moony didn’t seem to notice, preoccupied with the now overflowing pile of Valentine gifts and cards on his bedside. He grew frustrated with them with every passing second as they littered his space.

“Accio bin!”

The black bin from across the room flew into Remus’ hand, quickly shoving the letters in but soon a guilty look flashed across his face.

Remus had always been too considerate about their feelings, perhaps Sirius should take a page from his book.

Sirius had a pile accumulating on the carpet beside his trunk; it seemed like more and more people every year were confessing their feelings, but this time, Remus seemed to be getting a lot more along with the rest of the Marauders. But he smiled, happy to know that Remus had been getting some action. He fucking needed it.

“Er — sorry, Pete’s off to Wood’s room to borrow their toothpaste and James —” Remus cut himself off, bringing a hand to the sides of his temples as he moved them in circular motions. “I’m pretty sure Prongs went to find Y/N. Something about finishing a sign or a song for today —”

Sirius bit back a laugh, “A song?”

“I guess he’s fucking Paul McCartney now.”

Remus passed him, disappeared into the loo, giving enough time for Sirius to get dressed.

It was his third dream that week about that night and it was wearing down on him emotionally. He was losing sleep, he wasn’t eating, he was reclining from the Marauders, he was so prone to anger; lashing out, yelling… he didn’t like how he was acting — it reminded him too much of Orion.

And the thought made him sick to his stomach. He didn’t want to be a monster.

Lost in his depressing thoughts, Remus re-entered the room. But instead of walking up to his bed, Remus halted, looking directly at him before he crossed the room, putting a protective, encouraging hand onto his shoulder. A serious and calculated look crossed his face.

“Do you need anything?” He spoke in a hushed voice, as if he were to speak any louder, the walls might hear.

Sirius felt unexpected annoyance brewing in his chest. Bloody fucking Lupin, of course he knew — using his heightened senses to sniff out his distress.

Unlike Sirius, who hid his emotions, who covered and buried even a sign of weakness, who searched for answers high and low, Remus was so blunt — clear cut with his emotions. He knew just what to say, knew what was happening before others did even if they hadn’t even spoken yet.

He wished his thought process was as clear-cut as Moony’s.

“What do you mean? I’m fine,” he said, faking nonchalance. Jokingly, he prodded Remus’ cheek with his finger, “Turning into Moomy, again?”

His friend did not smile, concern still latched on.

“You know I’m always here for —” Before he could say anything more, Sirius hastily grabbed his bag, slinging over his shoulder, bolting out of the room.

Hiding — running away from his problems — that’s what Sirius was an expert on. And like that, he switched off that part — the ugly, unloveable part of his brain for the day.

When Sirius reached the Great Hall, he wasn’t surprised when a dozen owls bombarded him with letters and chocolates. It brought a sly smile to his lips

What? He did say he was arrogant.

“Looking grand, Black,” Marlene teased as she observed the overflowing amount of cards already in his arms. She ruffled his hair as he was forced to take the seat next to L/N. Marlene turned to chat with Dorcas, who finally was back on her feet and kicking it.

“It’s not even eight and your bag is filled?!” Peter exclaimed, baffled.

A part of Sirius didn’t feel annoyed as he sat beside her. Maybe it was because his main stressor, the Black family, was out of the picture and he’d been desperately trying to control his lash outs, but Sirius was stumped. Since the break, especially after the ‘Muggle’ incident, he found himself tolerating her presence.

Just a bit.

He understood why James, Remus, Lily, Marlene; why everyone took a liking to her.

But he had an inkling as to why.

Although, his mixed feelings towards her were not helping in the slightest as he dealt with the string of recent events in his life.

She was the one that spoke first, which surprised him.

“Ugh —” Y/N fiddled with the hem of her robes, “Kettleburn wants us to switch the Puffeskin between us. I was thinking since we’re in the same house, we could keep it in one of our dorms. I was thinking about keeping it in yours.”

“Why not yours?”

“They liked to hatch in warm places. Your dorm has a fireplace, right? I remember James telling me you had one… And it would make it easier since women can go into the boy’s dorms.”

For some reason, he couldn’t stop himself — he just couldn’t. “I bet you’re trying to get off quick.”                

The accusations did not sit right with her.

For someone like Sirius, someone who dealt with the worst shit imaginable; someone who'd been beaten down, both metaphorically and literally — someone who by the textbook was supposed to curl in on himself — keep to himself, be small, avoid drama, don’t cause arguments — Sirius did anything but that. Everything he did, he made sure to cause a reaction.

“No —”

“Are we about to argue because you want to win, or is it because you want to learn?.”

“You’re so arrogant. I don’t need you for grades. Your brain probably grew twice in size when I turned you into a dog.”

“Didn’t ask.”

“Then why are you replying?”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “Very creative.”

“Do you ever just shut up?” She snaps. Her face inched closer to his.

Unbeknownst to her, for a second, a second that he’d never admit, Sirius' brain falters. They hadn’t been this close to each other since that day after Kettleburn had assigned their group project. He catches the smell of faint floral — tulips, he thinks. Or maybe vanilla? Books? Tea? He couldn’t place it.

But his heart did a funny thing. It never does a funny thing like that and it concerns him. He wasn’t sick, was he?

Silence lingers.

L/N scoffed, “Well finally, it looks like you have.”

Although, she seems completely unphased by their closeness.

“Huh, you really do shut up.”

He snorts, his brain finally working again. “You nag an awful lot.”

“Well, you —”

“Whiskers. You’re a woman, how do I look?” James asked. He came bouncing up to them across the hall from the entrance. He twirls a little, showing off his outfit. In one hand, he held a sign and a bunch of roses. “Would you fancy me?”

“Dropping hints, are we, Potter?” She smirks playfully, “Anyway, I know you nicked that from Sirius.”

Sirius looked over to him, his head nodding up and down but was surprised that she noticed the difference, “She’s right, that is mine. Maybe that’s why you look so good.” He meant for the remark to come off as a joke, but cringed as the words spewed from his mouth. He sounded like a complete arse. 

James ignores him, “I have everything planned.” Then, he holds up a sign, all in baby pink with hearts dancing across the page as a huge message declaring his affection for Emmeline was written in bold fonts. I looked fairly cheesy, but that was James for you. A romantic at heart.

“Well,” he starts, clearly happy, “Do you like it?! I’ve also got a song written!”

“Remember the last time you wrote someone a —”

Y/N kicked him, hard, under the table, which caused Sirius to look at her sharply before his face turned annoyed again. She hadn’t even glanced his way yet. She continued to calm James down, giving him a pep talk while Sirius would jump in with encouraging words.

“Of course we love it — is it for Lily or —”

James shakes his head and they both knew who he was referring to.

“— Then Emmeline will love it even more! Get the girl, Bambi!”

James smiled triumphantly, sticking his fist out for a fist bump before running off happily towards the Ravenclaw table.

“Y’know,” Y/N starts, talking to Sirius as they both watch as James gets up on the table, preparing to serenade Emmeline in front of the entire Great Hall with a guitar that vaguely looks like Remus’. “You can choose not to be a dick.”

Surprisingly, he laughed, small, but there. And then, he finds himself responding to her comments, “I beg to differ.”

“Then beg.”

Sirius’ eyes widened, feeling his mouth go dry. He bit the inside of his cheek, eyes fluttering shut a couple times. It didn’t help that she smirked at his reaction and it made Sirius feel funny. An odd swoop piddled at the base of his stomach.

“I’ll take that into consideration for later,” he settled on.

Remus and Lily waltzed into the room, both holding small cards of their own. L/N and Sirius shuffled over as much as they could to fit in with both Remus and Lily. 

A part of Sirius’ routine had started incorporating Lily doing his hair. Most often, she did pretty braids or buns — but of course, not without James pouting to him later. He only hoped that with Emmeline’s new presence, James would stop.

“Ooo la-la!” Y/N mocked, swiping one of the cards from Lily and Remus. “You two are popular.” She turned to face Lily.

“It’s n-nothing, really, “Lily stuttered, her head ducking down. But her eyes seemed to look up at her, seemingly in hope of some recognition.

“Don’t be so modest!”

“A-hem!” James’ bostal voice. His foot wobbled on the edge of the table that made them all nervous if he were to fall. He finally concluded his song. Lily looked over and smiled, glad to know that James had finally chosen a different target to annoy.

“Fuckin’ barmy,” Remus muttered out, a hand going to cover his mouth in suspense. His hand travelled down to his chin-stroking his jaw.

“Emmeline, thou beauty —”

“Oh my god,” groaned Remus again, sinking in his seat from the second embarrassment but smiling nevertheless.  

However, Marlene whopped loudly, a large grin on her face.

Lily looked over to the scene, her eyes finding their way back to L/N, Peter paled slightly at the scene, Marlene was howling in laughter along with Sirius.

But much like himself, L/N found herself laughing with them too.

Her laughter rang out, and Sirius found himself drawn to the noise. But what was worse, was that he wanted to hear it again.

And even though he knew that other women and even men were staring at him right now, ready to give him all their affection and attention, Sirius found himself unable to look away from her.

He felt his palms getting sweaty, his heart beat harder, he wanted to sit closer to her and a smile tugged at his lips but he forced it down.

Fuck.

It was almost as the realization hit him there like a thousand tidal waves.

His heart jumped, it sped up fast, he felt his skin heat and her laugh put him into a trance — everything like what James described it to feel like.

If it was what he thought it was, Sirius wasn’t quite pleased with his newfound knowledge. He already had too much shit to deal with and certainly, someone like her was not worth it.

As the thought arose, there was something else that pulled him from these thoughts; it was the very shit that Sirius was dealing with, coming to haunt him again.

Regulus entered the Great Hall and Sirius had the urge to run to the nearest bin again. He hadn’t seen him since that night.

Within seconds, Regulus sensed his gaze and their eyes locked.

He wasn’t proud of Regulus, if anything, Sirius resented him — hated him and his entire body spiked in anger as he stared at him. He chose his path. But he couldn’t help but feel immense, dreadful guilt.

He could’ve done more, been there for him more, talked to him more. There were so many possibilities, so many outcomes and Sirius managed to end up with one of the worst paths imaginable.

He both wanted to scoop him up in his arms, cry — hold onto him tight like how they used to years ago, but the other part also wanted to take a Beater’s bat and swing a Bludger at his head.

His head shook slightly, just enough for Regulus to get the hint.

There was a hard, hopeless expression on Regulus’ face as he seemed to take a sharp inhale, his shoulders slumping within every passing second.

They were from two separate worlds, more evident than ever now. They weren’t brothers, not really.

Two of the brightest stars were torn apart forevermore.

Once the bell rang, Sirius sprang out of his seat and walked down the halls. He dodged owls, letters, chocolates and even a few love potions. There was a familiar void that punched its way through Sirius’ chest.

It was too early for firewhiskey, he couldn’t get knackered, he couldn’t talk to James, not when he was this happy and getting a pack of smokes from Remus — he’d bloody know within seconds what was wrong and call a Marauder's meeting or sort out some intervention for his sanity. Besides, he needed to apologize to Peter for how he acted that morning.

So the next best thing; snogging — a quick shag.

The next girl that tossed a flirtatious wink his way, he immediately approached. She was pale, had brown hair, soft skin and he vaguely recognized her but couldn’t quite place it. They flirted, Sirius would suggest it, she smiled, nodding her head and giving out a breathless sigh as Sirius dove for her lips, walking into the nearest broom closet.

Things were fast, almost a blur. She reached down, fumbling with his buckle before it clanked to the floor; he unbuttoned her top, hoisting her up and pushing them against a wall. She let out soft whimpers and he groaned into her neck.

The sensation, the building pleasure had left as soon as it came, leaving him feeling empty once more. He peeled off the girl, checking if she was alright like every other time. He didn’t know her name, forgetting it, and smiled awkwardly as she dressed.

He watched her leave the broom closet, the door clicking softly behind her. He could hear the faint scuffle of her shoes as she skipped down the hall excitedly. She had gotten what she wanted, a piece of Sirius; the Sirius that he put out — the pretty, nicely packaged Sirius.

Bent down, sinking to the floor, rocking on the balls of his feet, arms wrapped tightly around his legs and his head resting on his knees; emotions pooled through Sirius, attacking his frail heart.

Sirius laughs; it was dry, sad, pathetic, defeated. It was hard enough to hide with smiles, pranks, the random girls, sex, but those happy hormones that he craved, it was never, ever enough.

He couldn't go on like this, he had to fix something because something else was bound to break.

His laughing became strained as the walls of his throat began to close, eyes filling with tears. But now, finally alone, he let them cascade freely as his quiet sobs echoed in the dusty closest.

Love isn’t a magic potion.

━━━━━━━━━༻✩༺━━━━━━━━━

【I hope it was clear in this chapter that in no way am I trying to romanticize Sirius's trauma】

[spiltscribbles]

Here’s a prompt from the tag! “ Giving them your dessert when you eat out because it’s their favorite.” bc I have a feeling Remis would be the type to end up eating Sirius’ dessert instead of his bc he doesn’t know what to order but Sirius knows his taste dkfjsjaha

~Notes: Oh no baby! I read this wrong, thinking it was Person A ordering for them instead because Person B didn’t know what they wanted.... And well this came out-- I can totally write a different prompt though to match this one! Just LMK! <3 <3

.-

Send Me A Prompt  |  Reblogs are like the tastiest dessert!!

.-

Remus pads softly into his and Sirius’s room, a mug of steaming Darjeeling in hand and clad only in a his robe as he gazes longingly at the sleeping form of his partner for nearing on three years now. 

The early morning sun pans across the wide expanse of Sirius’s shoulders, and dips into the planes and valleys of his muscular torso and angular face. Lying there, with his dark hair fanning the pillow and the blanket slung lazily around his hips, he looks like some sort of fallen angel. Beautiful and remote and impossible to touch by sullied hands that aren’t half as sacred. It makes his heart thud an uneven staccato when he remembers that he’s his— Sirius chose Remus, Sirius loves Remus— Maybe even nearly as much as Remus has always loved him.

How remarkable of a revelation indeed.

Gingerly, Remus sets down his tea and crawls back into bed with Sirius, insides thrilling when the dark haired boy subconsciously snakes his arms around him and curves around Remus’s body like so many times before, so often that Remus reckons it’s become by rote, an ingrained response to whenever they’re in close proximity to one another.

With a quiet laugh, Remus stretches around, begins peppering Sirius’s chest and abs and the space surrounding his cock with tender kisses, slowly rousing him to wakening the way Sirius always appreciates after a night of patrols for the Auror’s academy. And as usual, it doesn’t take long at all for Sirius to begin moaning out appreciative sighs, thrusting languorously for the warmth of his mouth, making Remus chuckle as he tugs down his pants, and kisses the length of him, peering up to watch as Sirius’s gorgeous, gray eyes flutter open.

“Wh— Moony?” He says in a peculiarly squeaky voice that Remus can’t ever remember slipping out of his mouth. 

“Yes— Problem, Paddy?”

Another discontent, borderline terrified noise rumbles in his throat, and before Remus could even ask what’s got his boyfriend acting like he’s touched in the head, the door to their flat flings open none too gently, and it’s an irate looking James who storms into the bedroom— fists clenched and jaw set as he glares daggers into the face of his practical brother.

“You’re dead Potter!” Is all he shouts before madness ensues— Madness that’s James’s flying fists for Sirius’s face, Peter’s choked laughter flowing in from the other room, and a Lily who looks stuck between horrified and amused

And Remus is so fucking bewildered as he slides off of his boyfriend to avoid any untoward hits accidentally aimed his way.

“Lily?” he presses expectantly, but is totally unsurprised when all she replies with is a bout of uninhibited cackles.

.-

Fifteen minutes, a magically healed split lip, and a physically restrained pair of animagi later, finds the ragtag group of friends surrounding the kitchen Island while a terse James and enraged Sirius are explaining what had happened the previous night. Namely, them getting hexed by a sour faced old bint with a Guinness in hand, after Sirius had driven his motorbike through her rosebushes.

“You guys got bested by a drunk hag!” Peter guffaws for the third time in a singular minute, clutching at his stomach while his body wracks with a continuous stream of  laughter

“I will singe your bollocks off Wormtail,” Sirius seethes from Remus’s left— Except no, it’s not Sirius. It’s James, his best mate James who’s now inhabiting the body of his lover. And God how strange of a fucking turn of events. It’s seriously unnerving. He’s just standing their, all too familiar arms crossed against his chest and thick brows furrowed. And God, Remus really wishes he wouldn’t do that— worry on his bottom lip mid snarl. It’s such a quintessentially Sirius thing to do. a look Remus knows well. One that Remus would always coax away with a gentle kiss and a hand carding through his hair and— 

“Oof!”

He glances over to where Sirius— wearing James’s face— is glowering at him with pure irritation after having elbow checked him. “Eyes front and center Lupin!”

Remus flushes, glancing over at Lily since she out of everyone here could understand his plight. But of course she’s only snickering to herself in her cup of coffee, the trader. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Just because ’s my body doesn’t mean you get to give another bloke the come hither eyes!” Sirius fumes, a sneer caught on his features that Remus never thought the face of the easy going James Potter could ever conjure. “Crikey, it’s plenty that you decided to give him a full on show already.”

“How was I to know this would happen!” Remus sputters the same time James defends that they even barely started, which of course made Peter fall over on his chair with pure delight and Lily walking over to the kettle so she can hide her own laughter.

“Lucky you,” Sirius snipes back, glaring darkly at James and snatching Remus’s hand to interlock with his— erm James’s?— own on his lap.

Remus is so totally fucked.

.-

Graciously, Professor McGonagall— who told the graduating Gryffindor  class of 78 to always reach out if they ever needed help with a strangely wet glint in her eyes— Replies to the pleading missive Remus had sent almost immediately, giving Remus the proper instructions to reverse the jinx and wishing him and Lily the best for the impending tribulations about to befall them.

“She’s totally loving this,” James mumbles moodily as Lily massages his head. And Merlin, is that a strange sight— Lily not only deigning to touch Sirius at all, but look at him sympathetically on top of that. Remus has to constantly remind himself of the body swap before his ridiculous envy begins carving at his insides when James only looks appreciatively back up at her, a gentle, open expression painted over his face that is ordinarily reserved for Remus and Remus alone.

“God this is weird,” Lily tells him, slowly inching away and sitting besides Remus instead. “I usually can’t stand even the sight of Black, and now I’ve got to treat him like the bloke I’m in love with.”

“That’s not what you said this morning Evans,” Sirius goads from Remus’s other end, suddenly reverting back to looking like the James of fifth year— when he was still too cocky for his own good and still didn’t understand how much it made Lily want to hex him to hell for it. “I actually think I recall a lot of back robs and straddling action this morning.”

Lily casts him a look that would absolutely scorch lesser beings, and Remus reasons that his own glower is emulating the same energy because Sirius quickly presses their foreheads together and squeezes Remus’s hand between both of his own in silent repentance. “I knocked her off once i realized it wasn’t you love.”

“Didn’t even bother to aim for the bed you absolute sod.”

“It was fight or flight while you had your grubby little hands all over me Evans!” Sirius airily sniffs.

“Oh I’ll show you grubby little hands!” Lily seethes, pouncing forwards right when Sirius hides behind Remus’s back.

“Children,” Remus intones, beyond over it. “Did you all not realize the massive problem with this little mishap.”

“You mean besides dealing with James’s pitiful little knob.” Sirius asks, faux owlish.

“You touch my knob Black and I swear to God I’ll shave off all your hair.” James snipes, which really isn’t all that fair considering how Sirius doesn’t even care about his perfect locks half as much as Remus does.

“Bloody hell! That’s brilliant!” Peter squawks from the loveseat, absolutely glowing. “James, you think you can get Moony’s name tattooed on his arse.”

James’s face goes sly, Remus’s favorite smirk toying the edges of his lips and his stormy eyes glinting with mirth that Remus only ever sees on his boyfriend’s face before a prank or while Remus is undressing in front of him. 

“What did I say about that look Moony!” Sirius shouts, scathing and skewering him with a look James only ever  employed as Head Boy  on the third year students stupid enough to get caught while trying to pull off a prank.

“Erm— Ahem.” Remus adjusts himself in his seat, not meeting anyone’s eyes. “Yes well, that is rather besides the point.”

“So what is the point, Rem,” Lily asks smugly, and Remus absolutely hates how much she’s enjoying this. She should be suffering just as much as him for the sake of Circe.

“Well didn’t you have that lunch date set up with your older sister and her husband for today?” Remus points out, a mutinous little part of him preening at how her face goes a sickly sort of pale at the reminder. Finally someone is as ill over this as he is.

“Oh bloody shite! You’re right! And Professor McGonagall said that this incantation can only be done at night, the same time as it was originally cast!”

“We’re not in school anymore Evans, you can just call her McGonagall. Or Minnie if you’re so inclined.”

“Shut the fuck up Black!” Lily shrieks, and Remus can’t help but unfavorably liken her to a banshee. “I promised Petunia that I’d see her before she leaves on holiday tomorrow! And she bloody hates Black!”

“nasty harpy.”

“What are we going to do!”

“Erm— Well maybe you can explain to her the switch up?” Peter offers, always meek in the face of Lily’s wrath.

“She already thinks I’m a freak for being a witch Peter! I can’t bring James looking like that and expect her to be fine with it!”

“Most people would consider James having upgraded,” Sirius argues.

“The tattoo will be bright pink I reckon,” James muses loudly to himself, pretending not to have heard Sirius. “A nice contrast to your pasty white arse don’t you think Padfoot?”

Sirius bares his teeth at him and Remus feels an impending migraine while Lily continues to lament the idiocy of their boyfriends.

.-

Remus idly contemplates how normal his life could’ve been if he had fought harder with the sorting hat to be placed into Ravenclaw. It would be a much less wonderful existence, to be sure, but it’d be so blessedly normal. Remus would probably have gone steady with that Hufflepuff prefect, Andre, and they would probably still be together. And Andre didn’t have a best friend who he got into insane and improbable situations with, so Remus definitely wouldn’t have been forced to do this. To be forced to go to lunch with his best friend’s wizard hating sister and her pug faced husband and not look longingly over the table at the face of his other best friend where the love of his life is inhabiting his body.

Jesus, is Remus’s life confusing as fuck.

“I need to take a pis— Oof, I mean. I have to use the gents,” Sirius declares as everyone’s entrees are being served, giving a pointed glance to Remus. And he supposes he should talk to him about that, how incredibly obvious Sirius can be when he’s flustered and isn’t trying to show it.

Five minutes after his boyfriend, Remus leaves to meet him in the first open stall, finally feeling less wrong footed for the first time today when Sirius takes him into his unfamiliar arms.

“I’m going to stab my eyes out with a fork Moony!” He hisses, and it’s odd how alien his face— James’s face— is to him. How Remus has never spent the time to memorize the precise slope of his nose, or the shape to his lips. How Remus can’t understand what it means when he squints his left eye or when he flares his nostrils with a slight curl to his mouth. But Remus does recognize the way Sirius has always grabbed his hips in that desperate way when he’s fed up, and how he always presses his nose to the curls behind Remus’s ear when he needs to be grounded. And it’s a bit awkward now that they’re the same height instead of Sirius needing to stoop slightly, and how Sirius now smells like that pricy cologne that James has always sprits with gusto. But it’s familiar enough to make Remus’s shoulders relax from the tension sown through them all day, and breathe out with relief with how the pair of them still understand one another with an innate sort of knowing.

Gingerly, Remus wraps his arms around Sirius’s now less defined torso, and they stand their, tangled into one another amidst the hush settling over  them.

“Oi! You berks!” James hisses from the doorway all too soon, clambering inside and stomping his feet. “I swear to Merlin if you pricks are fucking inside there!”

“Don’t worry Jamie, I’d never put my Moons through the indignity of dealing with that after he’s had me,” Sirius jeers, preening when James replies by throwing something hard against the doorway.

“C’mon you idiot,” Remus sighs, tugging on a lowly chuckling Sirius as they meet James by the exit of the loo.

“I’ve had three different birds sliding their numbers into my trousers on my way here alone,” James complains, shuffling foot to foot and looking more awkward than Sirius ever has. “It’s obscene.”

“It’s the life of the beautiful,” Sirius corrects as Remus swaths his hand away from his arse. 

“I’d rather not have Petunia getting a heart attack when she sees her sister’s boyfriend copping a feel of another bloke,” he chides before looping his arm through James’s and begins strolling back to the table.

.-

The rest of the lunch is thankfully uneventful, but as stilted as expected, filled with Sirius needing to be kicked in the shin every time he starts gazing absentmindedly at Remus, and Lily flickering her eyes over to James disappointedly while he pouts at her with Sirius’s best puppy dog eyes. And Every time Petunia starts eyeing them all as if they’re all fucking each other behind the scenes, Remus clumsily changes the topic to the weather or how lovely her engagement ring is or asking Vernon about bloody drills— Even if all he wants to do is reach across the table and hold Sirius’s hand.

But thankfully, it all seems to be going along decently enough— That is until the waiter comes around to take their orders and spends a little too long leering at Remus, asking if he’d like a cinnamon roll on the house.

“He’d like a slice of the chocolate fudge cake and he has a boyfriend that probably wouldn’t appreciate the extra service.” Sirius growls out, specs gone askew and dark knuckles paling from where he’s clutching his spoon vindictively.

The waiter only smiles at him, shrugging in that what can you do kind of way before dashing off to place the orders in with the kitchen.

“Hmm,” Petunia levels him with a glance, unimpressed looking. “So James.”

It takes a beat too long for Sirius to respond and Remus silently curses his every damn star. 

“Erm, yes Petunia.”

“How long have you been fucking my sister’s friend behind her back?”

Lily goes shellshocked and James looks ill while Remus sinks lower in his seat, trying to force Sirius to get it together through his eye contact alone.

“Hah— Wow, you’ve been watching those silly Muggle dramas have you Petunia.” Sirius says in a mangled tone of voice, but of course that’s the precise wrong thing to have said.

With matching red faces and spluttering words of indignation— a few curses thrown in for good measure— Petunia and her husband rise from their seats and make a hasty retreat to their car towards the back of the building.

“Oh Christ,” Lily groans, jumping up to sprint after them— but not without swinging a perfectly aimed cuff to the back of Sirius’s porcupine head. “I’ll hex you once you’re out of my boyfriend’s sodding body Black!”

“I understand Evans!” He calls after her before swinging his head over to James and Remus with a mischievous grin. “We tried didn’t we?”

“You just couldn’t keep your bloody jealous  temper in check,” James scolds with no real heat.

“Oi! And what about you lusting over Lily so blatantly you tosser! It was revolting.”

“Yeah, well maybe you’ll remember that next time you’re gazing at Moony’s arse out in public you mongrel.”

Exhausted, Remus just rises and tells them to stay behind and make sure Lily’s alright. “I need a bath and some quiet.”

“Can I join,” Sirius pouts. “I miss you.”

“Only once you’re my  Sirius again,” Remus instructs, brooking no arguments before he finds a safe place to apparate, telling himself that he deserves an entire bottle of that cheap merlot they bought last weekend.

[girlfriendofwinchesters]

imagine dating and marrying Snape (without Dark Lord, without Voldermort)

The first time I write on tumblr

It was just some that I had in my head that I had to relieve and I'm sorry if I wrote a lot

when she saved him from a joke in the transfiguration class after they went in pairs for homework (you don't like it either), making James, Sirius and Peter detained.

You were dressed that you were in love when he defended you from Lily, after you cast a spell on James and the two were already dating

He dreamed he was in love, when in the midst of all he defended him against Sirius and James

The first kiss happened when you were in the astronomy tower, followed by the first sentence:

- Sev, do you still like Lily? - I don't know, I'm not sure, but I still feel a little strength for her! - You should start trying to like someone else! - I wanted it to be easy, but it's just me! - I interested in you, you are my type! - Such that? You are beautiful, intelligent, more sociable than me, even Sirius has already given up on you! - I don't know, I don't know if I fell in love with my best antisocial friend, emo, big nose, and according to him he was ugly! - What? - Hey? - Do You like me! - Specifically, I love you Severus! - I love you too, S / N.

The first time they had a relationship was in the Slytherin dorm, it was Christmas and you knew that Snape was sleeping alone in the dorm and you ask if he could and he says that taking you to your room, he was clinging and getting hands silly

You met his mother last year at King Cross station, you two got along really well

- Y / N, this is my mother, Eillen Snape! - Nice to meet you, Snape talks a lot about you! - Nice to meet you, Snape also talked a lot about you, but did not say that you were so beautiful! - Thank you too! - It seems that the two of you are doing very well together!

He only made an official dating request when you graduated from Hogwarts:

- Y / N, you know very well that when we get off the train, we may never see each other again. - No! I will never let you demand 10 owls for you! - Yes, I know, but diverting done this before. Wants to date me? Officially? - Yes right! Just the end of the world to end what I feel for you! - You are the best thing that happened in my life!

you were insecure about Snape with feelings for Lily

But her insecurity when you realized that Snape wasn’t looking at her anymore

And also the way he loved you, seemed to be stronger than anything

Snape understood that Lilian was now his past and what he felt for her was nothing compared to what he felt for you

His life was changing with you around, he was no longer a teenager, he was sure he wanted you on his side

You got a job in one of the stores in Beco Diagonal, while Snape worked as a potion preparer

you can if you can, after the father's death you stay longer at home, he still preferred to live with his mother

Choose a proposal to teach at Hogwarts, but do not accept it because you did not have patience with children

he asked you to marry the two of you on a walk:

- honey, I was thinking about taking a new step in our relationship. - Hmm, what are you thinking? - Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me, so that we can be together? - Sev, this is what I want, I love you! - I love you, sweetie!

you marry a small officer with your close relatives and friends

a honeymoon was in Paris

you moved to an apartment in London completely different from edging street, it was a dark airy style more airy

you had never talked about children, you thought it was too early to think about having a baby, but that doesn't mean you didn't walk around the house it seemed like the desire had increased after the wedding

you were established, he was at the top level of a porter and you opened your own magic store for the students, they earned very well

you or maybe you just passed Eillen's new house that she had moved to see how she was doing.

you were beginning to have the idea of ​​being a mother, of having a baby in your arms, but that was a sign.

with nausea in the morning, nauseated by Snape's perfume, slightly dizzy and you don't remember your last period, you can only be pregnant, you are going to have a test. It was just positive, you were very nervous, you had never spoken to Snape about children, and you knew he was afraid to pull his father. After dinner, you decided to tell:

- Love, your food is wonderful! - Thank you dear! I need to tell you something, this is going to change a lot! - What there was? - Snape, I'm expecting a baby! - Is he sure? - Am I right! I took a test when I went to work! - So I'm going to be a father, now I'm the happiest man in the world! - This baby is the fruit of our love! - Yes, but if I stop like Tobias? - Sev, you never were and will look like him, you are different from him!

- But how ? I thought you took all the contraceptive portions after our relationship.

- If I'm wrong, it was when we went out to celebrate the store's new business, we drank and had sex on the living room rug!

- It's not my fault that that whiskey made me believe that you were better than usual!

Snape has taken extra care of you now that he is expecting your child, he managed to stay with you in the store and in the details of the layette and the bedroom

A girl, you were pregnant with a Snape girl, Snape was completely happy, he was like that whenever you felt or laid him down and spoke to the baby:- Hi my little girl, how are you? Dad is so eager to see your face !It would be Eileen S / N Snape, the name of his little girl, with the passing of the months in Severo's care only came up, did almost nothing, he proposed to do everything to do.On delivery it was quiet, except for the perfect options. It was planned for the beginning of spring, with husband that you have everything happened smoothly Regarding baby care, you share your duties, you planned to stay up all night. he loved the baby very much, he simply played and dedicated the little girl, he was definitely different from his father. Eileen had just turned one year old, when she woke up sick with Eileen and Snape by her side, when Severus saw you heard you were pregnant you two expected to have two babies at the same time, but still the happiness had come to your home and stayed.

- I do not believe, we will have another child! - We are faster than we think, we are breeding like rabbits!

The second pregnancy was calm, a little more agitated by having another baby to take care of, but nothing to worry about. her house hers was full of toys and more colorful, Eileen was three years old, she was already manipulating magic needed care and Sebastian with two the routine was during the week taking care of the children, tidying up the mess, working and taking a few minutes to date, at the end of the week it was about walking or visiting grandma Eillen or her family after a trip in left the children with their parents, the result was no different, you were pregnant again. and for the third time I was experiencing nausea and dizziness, but Snape always had a portion near by You considered that Rowena would be the last of three siblings, your family had grown fast considering for people who never thought about having children Only five years later, Wade was born, now it was definitely the last with four children all witches, Eillen was eight years old and only had a few years to go to Hogwarts, Sebastian was seven, he was a badass, Rowena was five too and Wade only needed to worry about a few

- Dad, how is Hogwarts? - It's a wonderful place, that's where I met your mother. - Swear? - Yes, I remember how it was today, our first kiss was in the astronomy tower. - Go on, please, Daddy!                                                                                   

It was Eileen's year to go to Hogwarts, everyone was anxious, the six of them went to take the girl to the station

- Bye mom! Bye dad! Bye, Sebastian, Rowena and Wade!

- Take care, we will send you letters and sweets you like! - Thank you, I love you! - I'll be happy if you enter Slytherin ... - Severus Snape! - Or any other house. - I want to go now. - Sebastian, you know your year is going to be next year. - Me either! - Rowena in a few years.

Eileen joining Slytherin, Snape was so happy, he was not so happy because he knew that the sounds of Potter and Black would study together with his daughter.Eileen proved to be good in equal portions of her father.In the following, it was Sebastian's year to everyone's surprise or not, he went to Gryffindor. Snape had a small heart attack when he heard.In the third year, Snape almost died when he learned that Eileen was seeing James' son Harry.

- So Eileen, does anyone call you on your first trip to Hogmeads? - Yes, Mom, it was cool. - Who? - Harry Potter  - WHAT?

Sebastian joins the Quidditch team as the top scorer in the second.

Rowena went to Ravenclaw, she was simply one of the smartest of her year.

Wade went to Hufflepuff, he became a monitor

Your children less at home, making you proud. You could be older but you still felt tension and desire for each other.

You two were with your family formed, you were happy.