#Sirius Black deserves better than being always paired with Remus Lupin

[shivstar]

Who will you pair Sirius with:-

TW - People who are grossed out by age gap can kindly scroll down.

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

The Other Evans Girl [Part Twenty Eight]

Fandom: Harry Potter [Marauder’s Era]

Pairing: Sirius Black x Original Female Character, Sirius Black x Daisy Evans, James Potter x Lily Evans

Characters: Sirius Black, Original Female Character, Daisy Evans, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Alice Fortescue, Frank Longbottom, Marlene McKinnon, Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix LeStrange, Walburga Black, Orion Black, Jasper Thicknesse, Barty Crouch Jr, Mulciber, Walden McNair

Word Count: 4417

Rating: Mature

Summary: Hogwarts is a safe haven, a home for many, but it’s often a place where heartache, love and complex emotions dwell and none know that better than the Marauders. Lily Evans just wants to make it out as a successful witch though the oncoming war and the ongoing advances of James Potter threaten that. Daisy Evans, her twin, has other goals. Join the Evans sisters as they make their way through Hogwarts, prepare for war and eventually find love.

Tags/ Warnings: Hogwarts, Friends, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Marauder’s Era, Teenage Angst, Babies, Weddings, Dating, Crying, Loss of Virginity, First Wizarding War, Love, Kissing, Teenagers, James Potter is a bit of a dick, Hogsmeade, 1970s, Fighting, Loss of Parents, Grief, Babies, Injuries, Gore, Harm, Christmas,  The Potter’s Mansion // Daisy’s Dress // NYE Lily’s Dress // NYE Daisy’s Dress // Lily’s Ring // Daisy’s Ring

Notes: Okay so I’ve been working on updating this and I’ve finally gone through all the chapters already written before I start writing more. It’s changed a lot so I’ve decided it’s just better to completely re-upload it.  

If you want tagging let me know

LINK TO AO3 // LINK TO PINTEREST // LINK TO ALL PARTS

PART TWENTY-EIGHT

After their deal was made Mrs Potter led the girls to the room in the annexe that Daisy had previously inhabited in summer. Daisy longed to go and see the boys and apologise for being so rotten but from her tone Euphemia seemed to be confining them in for the night.

‘Daisy, I know you’re familiar with everything so I’ll leave Lily in your capable hands. All your things are here so I’ll leave you to unpack. If you need anything just shout for Bonney and she’ll be right in, I’ll ask her to prepare you both something to eat,’ Euphemia said, watching them with a sad smile as they looked around their room their attention going back to her as she said, ‘try and rest. We’re just a corridor away if you need us.’

As soon as the door closed behind her Daisy sighed, only just realising she’d been holding her breath since they’d come in, and then sat down on the double bed, her eyes skimming over the stacks of her stuff tucked in the corner of the room that the boys had brought in earlier. She was tired and sad, and if truth be told, a little hungry. Not to mention that she wanted to speak to the boys, Sirius in particular, as none of them deserved how harsh she had been. Lily was busy checking out the Potter’s spare room but as she turned around she found Daisy watching her.

‘Are you mad at me?’ Lily said not looking at her twin as she took a seat on the bed beside her. ‘No,’ Daisy said honestly, her ire had waned now, ‘I understand why you did it…if anything it was a good thing.’ ‘I can’t believe they offered to help us,’ Lily said, still in shock. ‘I know,’ Daisy said, though knowing just how much they’d done for Sirius she wasn’t surprised in the least. ‘I mean, it’s a good thing we can stay in school and keep the house. And Tuney and Vernon will be happy they’re not having to run the house and their flat,’ Lily said, again trying to convince herself it’d all work out. ‘I don’t think that’s what Vernon was worried about. Probably can’t wait to get his hands on that cash,’ Daisy grumbled. ‘Well, whatever they want to do with it it’s no business of ours,’ Lily said, as always playing both sides between sister’s though she couldn’t deny Daisy probably had a point. Though in an effort to get away from that topic she reverted back to her shock and said, ‘I just feel guilty I mean they’ve been so lovely to us and we hardly know them.’ ‘Honestly? I think they just like that James has someone you know?’ ‘James has got everything,’ Lily scoffed, ‘look at this house!’ ‘Yeah, but money’s not everything we know that,’ Daisy mumbled sadly, ‘besides the way she is with us, his friends, I think they would’ve had another kid or two if they could.’ ‘Maybe, I suppose they’re a bit older than other parents. I guess it’s none of our business,’ Lily said, feeling guilty for speculating given how kind they’d been. ‘You’re right,’ Daisy said before she cracked a smile, ‘this does mean one thing though.’ ‘What?’ Lily asked. ‘You are gonna have to be nice to James now.’

✵✵✵

Daisy woke with a start caused by a loud and sudden bang that yanked her out of the first peaceful night’s sleep she had had in over a week. She sat bolt upright in bed and looked around, spotting a house-elf she didn’t know the name lugging a bag of her laundry out of the room, not noticing they had disturbed her. A glance at the clock told her she had slept for almost twelve whole hours which was probably why she was actually feeling rested for the first time in an age. After chatting with Lily she’d had a bath, changed into fresh pyjamas and enjoyed a hearty bacon sandwich in bed courtesy of Bonney. Whilst Lily went through her things for school Daisy had watched her, listening to her witter on about her plans for revision the first week back, before slipping into a sound sleep.

Now she was awake though she found the room was different. Everything had been tidied away, their suitcases now gone, as was Lily she noticed. That didn’t surprise her, even during the holidays she wasn’t one for sleeping in, and realising she should probably do the same Daisy climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom. After a quick wash and brush of her teeth and hair she changed into a new outfit. It was nothing fancy, just a pair of jeans and a thick jumper but it felt good to be in clean clothes for a change. Though when she checked her appearance she was shocked by the face looking back at her. Her eyes were no longer bloodshot and though there were still light bags underneath they were nowhere near the suitcases they had been a few days ago. Still, with a new outfit and her hair brushed so it fell neatly around her face she actually looked presentable for a change.

‘It’s a wonder what a good night’s sleep can do,’ she thought as she exited the room. As she got outside she found the corridor was deserted, as was the games room and the drawing room, the places she’d expected to find her friends. Figuring they’d appear at some point she headed to the kitchen where she found Bonney who offered her breakfast which she declined and a cup of tea which she accepted. ‘Where is everyone?’ she asked the small elf bustled around, readying the cup and kettle for her tea. ‘Master and Mistress Potter have gone to town today, miss. And Master James and his friends are in the orchard,’ she squeaked, as she finished up pouring her a drink. Daisy thanked her and then headed out towards the drawing room, allowing her to get back to the cleaning she’d been doing before she’d disturbed her. It was brighter in here than last night now that the curtains on the large French windows were pushed back, allowing the low winter’s sun to shine in. She looked out, trying to see her friends flying along the treeline of the orchard but she couldn’t spot them, realising they were no longer out there as the door opened and Sirius came in.

He was dressed in flying gear that was a considerable two shades darker implying he was sodden though she hadn’t noticed the rain looking outside. His clothes were also darkened by the amount of mud on him as was his face though she could still see his cheeks and nose tinged with pink under the dirt. He wasn’t looking at her, seemingly preoccupied with something so much so he didn’t notice she was there until he almost walked into her.

‘Dais,’ he said, smiling as he realised she was standing there. Her heart thudded, relieved that he didn’t seem to remember or mind how much of a cow she had been. ‘Hey,’ she said, ‘quidditch?’ ‘Yeah, me and the boys decided to have a two-on-two lucky for us Lily took your place as a ref,’ he smiled. ‘Maybe that’s what she thought being nice to James was,’ she chuckled. ‘Ah, I thought she was oddly jovial though I couldn’t tell because she doesn’t grumble as much as you do,’ he smiled. ‘Well by all means you can have her,’ Daisy said, laughing along before the pair of them silent. Daisy was going to apologise but she didn’t have a chance to as four rowdy teenagers, all in a similar state to Sirius, entered stealing focus. Their faces were red from the cold and their clothes sodden from the rain though Lily was drier than the rest opting to wear her big coat rather than flying robes which looking at them seemed to have been the best option.

‘Well, well, look who’s arisen,’ James chuckled walking over to where Daisy was standing and pulling her into his side for a hug though Daisy pushed him away stating, ‘ew you’re all sweaty and wet.’ ‘That’s the musk of a well-played game Dais,’ James chuckled grabbing her and forcing her face into his armpit until she prodded him hard in his side which made him let go. ‘You’re disgusting,’ Daisy chuckled pulling away and moving to stand behind Sirius as a shield. ‘Padfoot’s not much better of an option,’ James said. ‘Yeah, at least James isn’t covered in blood,’ Peter jibed. ‘Covered in blood?’ Daisy asked worriedly, moving so she could see him properly. ‘It’s nothing,’ he said as her eyes roved over him eventually landing on the place he’d been staring at when he came in. She grabbed his hand which was sporting a nasty gash on the palm and frowned. ‘What happened?’ Daisy asked anxiously. ‘It was an accident,’ Sirius said quietly, placing his hand over hers in an effort to soothe her as well as hide the wound from view. ‘We were playing by the rules,’ James explained, ‘which we don’t normally bother with.’ ‘It’s my fault, I asked why they didn’t play like they do at school so they got all the balls out and well I didn’t realise that a bludger doesn’t distinguish between players and the referee,’ Lily said meekly. ‘That’s why we don’t usually bother with it,’ Remus said. ‘It’s no one’s fault,’ Sirius insisted seeing the worry in Daisy’s eyes, ‘I’ve played with them before not like I don’t know what to do.’ ‘I just got in the way,’ Lily admitted, ‘it would’ve been my head if James hadn’t pulled me out of the way.’ ‘Don’t thank me Padfoot was the one to knock it into next week,’ James said. ‘Yeah, he knocked it so hard it splintered the bat!’ Peter added giddily making Sirius grit his teeth as he realised what his excitement was doing to the nervous girl in front of him. ‘That’s what hurt you?’ Daisy asked worriedly, not noticing she was still holding Sirius’ hand. ‘Yeah but it was nothing honest,’ he said quickly stopping whatever Peter was going to say. ‘You could’ve been really hurt,’ Daisy said worry evident in her voice, ‘all of you.’ ‘It was nothing. Right boys?’ Sirius said staring pointedly at all three boys who added murmurs of agreement as they realised what he was getting at. ‘Yeah but it’s not going to happen again. We’ll just play as we normally do right?’ James said. ‘Yeah I prefer it that way anyway. Besides it’ll be fine once we’ve got a proper bat. I bet that one is about a hundred years old,’ Remus said. Even Peter seemed to get the message as he added, ‘we’ll have to ask your mum to get a new one next time she’s in town.’ ‘Good idea Pete,’ James said. Fortunately she seemed to settle with their reassurance at least enough to realise she was still holding Sirius’ palm which she dropped quickly, offering him a weak smile before she followed James in the direction of the kitchen.

It didn’t reassure her completely though because she couldn’t help but think about it. He could’ve been hurt; Lily could’ve been hurt. One wrong move and two more people she loved were gone forever. And that was something she couldn’t help worry about.

✵✵✵

Sirius stood under the scorching water of the shower allowing its warmth to seep into his bones, warming him from the outside in. Once inside the house the girls and boys had gone their separate ways, the latter heading to get changed. Whilst they’d headed upstairs James had rabbited on at him about a new Quidditch move he had been devising and Sirius nodded along though he wasn’t really listening. Luckily for him, Peter held onto every word that James uttered so his presence wasn’t too missed when he excused himself to the bathroom.

Though his hand stung when he held it under the water he did so anyway allowing the warm water to clean away the dried blood and mud that had clung to the gash in his hand until finally it started to run clear. However as the cut became more apparent he realised the wound was deeper than he’d anticipated now he was inspecting it. His mind went to Daisy, as it often did, suspecting she might have been right to worry. He didn’t blame her either as it wasn’t as though he didn’t spend all his time worrying too, always about her, though admittedly it had lessened a little bit after seeing her today. She looked better granted not one hundred per cent herself but close enough it made him feel reassured. As the water started to become a little cooler he decided to hop out, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist as he left the bathroom, a plume of steam following him. ‘Bloody hell mate, save some hot water for the rest of us,’ James said, pushing up onto his elbows from where he had been lying on the bed.

‘There’s plenty left,’ Sirius said sitting down on the armchair in the corner of the room. Since the boys had arrived Sirus had vacated the spare room he had been permanently occupying and bunked in with James. ‘How’s the hand?’ James said, sitting up properly as Sirius shucked a pair of underpants on under his towel. ‘Not too bad, where are the boys?’ Sirius countered. ‘They got changed and went for some lunch, they didn’t want a shower,’ James said. ‘Yeah, lucky for them neither of them got chucked off their brooms into the mud,’ Sirius said, moving to grab a pair of jeans to change in to. ‘Yeah, and lucky for you neither of them mentioned that bit of the story to Daisy eh?’ James said, making him pause to look back at him. Sirius’ eyes narrowed as he asked, ‘what you’d rather I’d tell her the truth?’ ‘Maybe you should,’ James shrugged. Sirius scowled, ignoring him as he pulled his jeans on and then a t-shirt. Once he was dressed he looked at James and said, ‘you saw her face when I told her about the bat splintering I didn’t think I needed to add that after launching it I fell twenty feet off my broom.’ ‘Caught by me,’ James said. ‘Yeah, two people rescued from danger. You’re a hero mate,’ Sirius chuckled. ‘And I can’t even brag about it,’ James said. ‘Well I’m sure Lily’s very grateful,’ Sirius said with a wry smile. ‘I’ll take that as compensation eh?’ James said with a cheeky grin. ‘Maybe you should ask for a kiss at midnight tomorrow, huh?’ Sirius chuckled as he shrugged a jumper on. ‘I’d like to start the year without a dead arm but sure,’ James said rising from the bed. ‘I don’t know,’ Sirius shrugged, ‘she seems a lot more lenient with you these days.’ ‘Speaking of, how’s the plan on telling Dais going?’ James said. ‘It’s not the time,’ Sirius said, sitting back down on the chair to put on some socks. ‘Mate,’ James sighed. ‘She’s just lost her parents. Hardly the time to be burdening her by bearing my soul is it?’ Sirius reasoned, thankful putting on his socks gave him an excuse not to look at James who was watching him disapprovingly. ‘I don’t know I just feel like you’re making excuses,’ James admitted as he climbed off the bed, ‘I mean you’ve gotta tell her some time and god knows she could do with some good news right about now.’

And before Sirius could argue James walked off into the bathroom. Sirius only looked up when he heard the door close fully, flopping back onto the armchair with a sigh as his mind whirred. Should he tell her? In fact he’d already planned to tell her tomorrow anyway. Over Christmas, before he’d started worrying, he’d decided that his pining had gone on long enough and to save her being the only one who didn’t know about his feelings or having to explain why the mystery girl he’d lied about didn’t make an appearance he’d decided to tell her the truth. But that was before the bombshell that had hit. Before she’d been put through the ringer and was already confused about her life as it was anyway. Now it wouldn’t be fair to Daisy to laden her with more confusion whilst she was grieving.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sounds of voices below in the hall. Figuring there was no point waiting for James he headed downstairs and found everyone sitting in the kitchen around the island with mugs of hot chocolate in front of them and a tray of sandwiches in the middle. He slid into the seat beside Daisy who smiled at him before turning back to Remus who was telling them about his Christmas.

‘I’d only gotten to the bit where the Gandalf and Saruman are going to fight when my Dad insisted we go and see my grandma and forbid me to bring it,’ Remus said. ‘Oh my god, you’re nearly at one of my favourite parts!’ Lily said enthusiastically. ‘What’s this?’ Sirius said. ‘Some boring book Lily bought Rem for Christmas,’ Peter said looking bored, the plate of food in front of him surprisingly not enough to alter his mood. ‘It’s not boring!’ Remus and Lily protested in unison. ‘You say that but until Sirius came in I was asleep with my eyes open,’ Daisy ribbed making Sirius smirk. ‘God forbid we try and inject a bit of culture into our group,’ Lily grumbled, missing the way she had included herself as part of the group even if Daisy hadn’t. ‘Don’t bother Lil,’ Remus said, ‘I’ve tried for the past six years.’ ‘We have culture!’ Peter protested. ‘Yeah, Dais and I have a good knowledge of every muggle rock band,’ Sirius said. ‘Yeah, and Sirius, James and Peter could tell you every single winner of the quidditch world cup since 1874,’ Daisy said proudly, ‘you’re just snobby.’ ‘Who’s snobby?’ James said coming into the kitchen, now clean though his hair still held its trademark unruliness. ‘These two,’ Daisy said thumbing at Remus and Lily. ‘We’re not snobby!’ Lily said, ‘but I am happy to change my stance on the remark, you’re very cultured.’ ‘Well that’s something,’ Peter chuckled as James sat down and was immediately flanked by two house elves who gave him a plate of sandwiches and mug of hot chocolate. He took a small sip and winced as the boiling beverage seared his tongue before he said, ‘well whether we have culture or not won’t matter when all of the wizarding world’s high society rock up here tomorrow night.’ ‘Yeah but having Pete talk to the minister of magic about the ins and outs of gobstones rules might be a laugh,’ Sirius chuckled.

As Daisy looked at them laughing about the party she realised she had completely forgotten about it and now it was in the forefront of her mind she realised something else. She had no desire to go. Doing this had been hard enough and though she’d felt okay seeing people for the first time in days she figured seeing all of wizarding high society might not be the same. Sirius seemed to notice the way she had frozen next to him and glanced at her which she caught him doing, offering him a weak smile of reassurance before her gaze dropped to her mug which she picked up in order to have something to do. The gang talked a bit more about the party, though Daisy neglected to participate, and planned what they were going to do once released from their obligations. Sirius noted her quietness but said nothing, deciding he was going to have a word with her later.

Unfortunately, he didn’t get a chance to speak to her much as Fleamont and Euphemia returned home shortly after and insisted the children helped prepare for the party tomorrow. James grumbled that they and the house-elves could get everything done much quicker with magic but Euphemia insisted they do it the muggle way which Daisy found helpful, as it kept her mind occupied. Whilst the boys put up decorations in the drawing room the girls helped Euphemia make plates and plates of nibbles and finger foods ready for tomorrow. And as evening fell everyone had found a rhythm in which to work which meant each job was ticked off the list in quick succession. Just as Lily and Daisy finished filling the dozens of vol-au-vents they had made Fleamont popped his head around the kitchen door and informed them dinner was ready. The girls wrapped up the rest of the food and followed him to the dining room where everyone was already sat, mountains of food laid out on the table.

‘Come on girls,’ Euphemia said on the end of a chuckle, ‘I’m surprised these boys haven’t had my hand off.’ ‘We’re growing lads,’ James protested. ‘Yeah, and we worked till our fingers bled,’ Peter ribbed. ‘I’m surprised we’re not skin and bone,’ Sirius added as the girls descended into their seats. ‘And here I was always told having a girl would be hard work,’ Fleamont chuckled. ‘They’re good as gold dear I always said that,’ Euphemia chuckled smiling at the twins. ‘I’ll not take this to heart, eh?’ James chuckled. ‘I always said you’d look good as a girl,’ Remus said earning a laugh from around the table. Lily blushed deep crimson at the indirect compliment whilst Daisy dropped her gaze to her plate, surprised as a familiar pang of grief reared its ugly head. Whilst the boys took their entrance as a cue to tuck in Daisy kept her head down hoping to fend off that horrible feeling. She didn’t know why it had come now, for most of the day she’d managed to push it out of her mind but the normality of a family dinner, the laughing and joking washed her with sadness.

She thought it might be Eupehmia’s words, triggering a memory from years ago when her parents had been joking about having another baby. Her parents had always told them about how they’d wanted three children; it was just that the twins had gotten them there a little sooner than planned. And whilst they’d assured them they wouldn’t have traded how things had worked out for the world they’d joked about having a boy to finish off their little family.

As a child Daisy had been excited by the idea given she was a tomboy in a house full of girly-girls. She smiled as she remembered the younger years of her life, when she and her dad would spend hours together playing football in the garden or when he would take her fishing with him even though she could never sit still long enough to catch anything. She thought about how all of that had disappeared once they had gone to Hogwarts. Of course they’d never meant to drift apart but spending three quarters of the year at school meant that spending time with one other became harder and harder. Had her Dad missed his tomboy when she morphed into the woman she was? Had her mother told Petunia how she missed them but never let on when they were home? Had they been upset when she didn’t come home for Christmas last year? Did Lily tell them that instead of spending time with them she chose to spend it here, with her friends?

Her brain was spiralling, she had zoned out unaware that Euphemia had said something to her and Lily was now nudging her trying to get her attention. As she came to she realised everyone was looking at her, awaiting an answer she couldn’t give. Sirius was watching her from across the table, his brow furrowed in worry, and as her chest squoze tighter she felt weaker which meant the glass she didn’t realise she had been holding slipped from her grasp and collided with the fine China plate, splintering both into pieces.

‘Daisy are you okay?’ Fleamont said with alarm, his hand touching her shoulder to try and get her to zone in. ‘Dais?’ Sirius said urgently but Daisy didn’t say anything. Instead, she slid from her chair, unresponsive to the chatter around her and ran from the room. Lily stood up as she disappeared out the door, making to follow her twin but Euphemia stood also and looked at the redhead with a sympathetic smile. ‘I think it’s probably best if we leave her be sweetheart,’ the older witch said gesturing for her to sit back down before she flourished her wand, causing the plate and glass to restore themselves into their normal forms and fly back into the Welsh dresser. Lily nodded and sat down quietly though her appetite was now gone. ‘Do you think she’s okay?’ James said sadly, though admittedly he was watching Lily instead of Daisy. ‘Griefs a funny old thing,’ Fleamont said through a mouthful of bread. ‘Monty please don’t speak whilst you’re eating,’ Euphemia chastised looking sternly at her husband before her gaze turned to her son, her hand on the back of his as she said, ‘I’m sure she’s fine sweetheart. Probably just a little overtired.’ ‘It’s the first day she’s spent doing…well, anything since the funeral,’ Lily admitted. ‘Well that’ll be it,’ Fleamont said smiling at the redhead reassuringly. Lily returned it. ‘Yeah, I mean she’s been busy all day,’ Peter reasoned. ‘Probably just hit her all at once,’ Remus added looking in deep thought about it. ‘Shouldn’t one of us go and see if she’s okay?’ Sirius asked, hoping one of them would support his idea and allow him to go and check on her. ‘Best not, old boy,’ Fleamont said, ‘best to leave her with her thoughts for the night. There’ll be plenty of time to reopen old wounds another night better to let the lass mull it over herself.’ ‘Dad’s right best just let her go at her own pace,’ James said, though as the words left his mouth and his gaze met Sirius’ the pair of them realised what that meant. And to Sirius’ relief James nodded signalling he understood.

Sirius wasn’t going to tell her.

Not yet.

SIRIUS BLACK/SERIES TAGS

@maeisafangirl @mysteriouslydelicateface @caitlin1996 @imthebadguyyy

[messers-moony]

King and Queen | S.B

Paring: Sirius Black X Fem!Potter!Reader, James Potter X Fem!Twin!Reader

Summary: James goes through a lot during his time at Hogwarts but his sister is always by his side.

Inspiration: Click

A/N: If this comes off insensitive to anyone please let me know and I will remove this.

James Potter was a handful. From the minute he was born, he had this gleam in his hazel eyes that raged and burned with trouble. His twin, Y/n Potter, was almost the opposite. The soft smile that laid on her features and the glitter of calamity in her eyes. Euphemia and Fleamont were in for a lot the minute their twins were born. 

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder is most comparative to having a web browser up with one too many tabs. James had always been unable to focus and was naturally messy. Truth be told, he thought it was normal, just as everyone else did. It wasn’t until his second year at Hogwarts did he realize something was genuinely wrong with him. 

Remus told him that he had this muggle thing called “dyslexia,” which was a difficulty in interpreting words, letters, and other symbols. However, it never affected his overall intelligence because everyone knew that Remus Lupin was indeed and wholly brilliant. It got James wondering, did his inability to focus, be organized, and hyperactivity have a deeper meaning?

His twin - Y/n - was quite the opposite. She made quick friends with Remus, Sirius, and Peter, who were close friends of her twin. Y/n was top of their class, creating a friendly competition with Remus, but she was always able to focus. Often she would hyper-focus, which would leave her working for over five hours at a time without realizing it. In those times, James would have to snap her out of it. 

Over the summer, James expressed his concerns to his parents. He was talking about how this could be a real issue he’s facing using Remus’ dyslexia as an example. Eventually, they gave in, letting James go to a muggle doctor. James had to fill out a questionnaire that would come back with his results in one week. That week was probably the longest week of his life. Nonetheless, his test results had come back positive. 

Fleamont and Euphemia would be lying if they were surprised. After hearing about the disorder, it was almost the definition of their eldest son. Fortunately for James, the muggles had come up with a cure - no, not a cure - dammit, what was it again?

Impede the symptoms! That’s what those muggle pills do. James was required to take two pills a day, one in the morning and once at night. Y/n was in charge of making sure he did so because - more times than he’d like to admit - he would forget everything if it wasn’t for Y/n. 

In third year, James was as energetic as ever while getting on the Hogwarts Express, “Aren’t you excited, Y/n?!”

She chuckled, “Yes, but Merlin, you don’t need to literally jump with joy.”

“But I’m excited!”

“I know that.”

They made their way to the compartment that held Remus, who was reading a book. James sat in front of him while Y/n took her seat beside Remus, “‘Ello Remus.”

“Hey, Potter pair.”

Y/n sighed, and James groaned, “That nickname needs to go away.”

“I quite like it.” Remus stated smugly, “Suits you both.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Y/n accused falsely, “It means that wherever one of you are, the other isn’t that far behind.” Remus replied. 

James had zoned out already, and Y/n snapped in his face, “Take your pills?” 

“Forgot.” James muttered guiltily, “Oh Godric.” She whispered. 

“Pills?”

“James went to a muggle doctor this summer.”

Remus quirked an eyebrow, “Did you now?”

“Got diagnosed with ADHD.” James informed, and Remus looked amiss, “Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.”

“Ah, I’ve heard of that.” Remus said, and James smiled sheepishly, “I feel kinda odd, like out of place.”

“Why?”

“Dunno, just, why can't I be normal?”

“You are normal, James.” Y/n reassured, “And anyone who says differently obviously doesn’t care about you.”

The compartment door slammed open, “Who doesn’t care about who?”

Remus snorted, “Ever the dramatics, huh, mate?”

“‘Course.” Sirius flopped down beside James, “It comes with my charm and devilishly good looks.”

“Ah, yes.” Y/n said, chuckling, “Don’t you see how I’m swooning for you?”

The back of her palm was against her forehead, “Come off it.” James swatted at her and then elbowed Sirius, “Better not make my sister swoon.”

Sirius chuckled and shrugged, “Can’t help it. I’m just that irresistible.”

The four of them laughed at Sirius’ dramatics and continued talking about the new term. Remus and Y/n were talking about books they couldn’t wait to read. Remus was even kind enough to gift her some muggle books he bought over the summer holiday. Sirius and James bickered about what pranks to do this year, along with which ones were better. 

Third-year was fun. It was a year of flooding corridors, turning Slytherin robes red and blasting music in the common room after a Gryffindor victory. James was a brilliant Quidditch Chaser, and Y/n was a fantastic Seeker. Nothing was quite like the Potter pair. Something about them was just unforgettable. 

Maybe that’s why Sirius was so fond of her. Something about the Potters made people around them smile on the hardest of days. They made sure that every moment was a night to remember. Every memory was worth reliving. So adventurous, so reckless, yet so kind and loving. 

By the time fifth year rolled around, Sirius Orion Black had fallen off a cliff into a lake called love. Sirius completely submerged himself in love for Y/n Potter. The younger twin by just 20 minutes, but something about her was so divine. Was it her silk and glittering h/c hair? No - maybe it was her gleaming e/c eyes. Perhaps it was for her strive for adventure and extreme kindness. 

Nonetheless, Sirius fell hard.

And who better to tell than James Potter himself?

Causally - as usual - Sirius opened the door to the Marauders dorm. It was empty aside from the brunet boy with glasses on the bridge of his nose. His hazel eyes were focused on a textbook - Potions textbook - maybe it was to impress Lily. Sirius couldn’t care less, so he pulled the chair out in front of the desk and sat before James. 

“Mate, I need your help.”

“Running from Filch?”

“No. Something- Something worse.”

“Something worse?” The textbook shut loudly.

Sirius nodded, “Way worse.”

“Alright then, come into my office.” James teased, and Sirius grinned. 

It was silent, “I’m in love with your sister.”

James sputtered, “Excuse me?”

“I’m in love with Y/n.”

“No, no.” James waved his hand horizontally, “I heard you.”

“Then what else would you like me to say?” Sirius asked. 

“Literally anything else.”

“Sorry, mate.” Sirius muttered, “I- I really didn’t mean to.”

James chuckled and wiped his hand across his face, “I suppose you can’t really stop love, huh?”

“You really can’t.” Sirius agreed, “I tried. I promise I tried.”

“It’s not that big of a deal late.” James assured, and Sirius looked at him with wide eyes, “I trust you just-“

“Just?”

“I’m worried about her.” James completed, “I- I worry about her every night.”

Sirius softened, “It’s like you with Regulus-“ James continued before Sirius could interject, “And don’t pretend. Your silencing charms are bloody terrible.”

“I know you still care for Regulus, you worry about him every night, and I do the same for Y/n, except my silencing charms are better.” James teased sightly, “I trust you, Sirius. You’re the brother I never got but always wanted. You know, the brother I can play Quidditch with, rough around with, the brother who’s just as sneaky and mischievous as I.”

“But Y/n is still my blood. She's my twin, my best friend, my partner in crime. She was the mind behind my pranks before Remus.” James elaborated and then smirked, “Remus and Y/n make a great team, ya’ know?”

“They are quite brilliant.”

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, take care of her?” James looked like the eleven-year-old boy again, “Don’t make her a fling and don’t make this temporary.”

“Y/n is a strong woman, and she isn’t for weak men. I’ll be honest,” James chuckled, “She doesn’t need a man. She doesn’t even really need me. I need her more than she needs me. Regardless, take care of her. She deserves a man worthy of her. Someone that’ll get her ice cream at 4 a.m. because she’s craving it. Someone that’ll go on sporadic trips with her. Someone that’ll understand that after a hard day, all she wants is a book and coffee.”

Sirius was appalled; he’d never seen James look so passionate, “Growing up, mum always told me to be a gentleman. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but she always raised me as one. To hold a door for them, push and push in their chairs for them, give them my jacket even if I’ll freeze.” 

“Those kinda things. Dad said I should practice on Y/n, and I did. From then, Y/n always got treated like a queen, and she deserves no less. I won't lie, my parents treat me like a king too, and I don’t want any less either.” James explained, “Be the king that’s worthy of my sister.”

“That’s all I ask of you.”

Sirius nodded, “I’d be honored to serve her as my queen.”

“And if you show her no less, she’ll spit you out like chewing gum.”

He shuttered, “I hate how accurate that phrase is.”

James laughed, “I know her more than you think.”

By sixth year they were dating. Sirius would be lying if he wasn’t eternally shitting himself when Y/n said yes to going to Hogsmeade with him, alone, as a date. In fact, James almost wanted to throw him a party for finally not being a little bitch and asking out his sister. This party consisted of a bottle of firewhiskey and chocolate because that’s all that was in the boy's dormitory. But a party nonetheless. 

When Lily rejected James for the last time before graduation, he was utterly heartbroken. He’d spent and dedicated seven years of his life to this gorgeous woman. Despite all his efforts and all his charms, she still wasn’t interested. James tried. He really tried. He wanted Lily so bad. His heart broke when she said her final words of goodbye.

“I’m sorry, Potter. Maybe in another life, just not this one.”

Tears had ebbed at the corner of his eyes as he made his way back into the castle from the Black Lake. In the common room, where he felt like he had just got dowsed in water. James made his way to the girl's dormitory. His hand curled into a fist and knocked lightly on the wooden door. Shuffling was heard from the other side, and the door finally opened, revealing his sister. 

Without warning, James crashed into her arms, forcing his nose in the crook of her neck, “Woah.”

“Are you okay, James?”

His body shook with sobs as he shook his head no, “It’s okay. Let’s go lay down, okay?”

Gently she led him to her bed. He curled up beneath the navy blue comforter and placed his head on the silk pillow sheets. If he tried hard enough, he could forget the way Lily’s hair smelt today or the way her green eyes glistened in the sun. Now engulfed in his sister's scent, trying to remove every feeling for Lily possible, he dug his nose deeper into the comforter. 

Y/n sat beside him, her back to the headboard, and ran her fingers through James’ already untied hair, “What's got you so worked up?”

“It’s done.”

“What’s done?”

“L- Lily and I.” James choked, “She- She really doesn’t want me.”

A new wave of tears overcame him, and Y/n continued to try and soothe him, “Well, she’s a tosser.”

James narrowed his eyes, “James, you know I love her. She's my best friend, but if she can’t see what’s right in front of her, then she’s an idiot.”

“Can I- Can I stay here tonight?” He asked hesitantly.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay at your dorm?” Y/n questioned, “Because you know who sleeps here.”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Till the end.”

After a couple of minutes, Y/n and James made their way down the steps to the boy's side. They walked up more steps and finally made it to the boy's dormitory. James collapsed on his bed in the left corner of the room, and Sirius perked up at seeing his girlfriend enter the room. 

“Whatcha doin’ here, love?”

“Staying with my brother.”

Sirius nodded and stood up to hug her, gently pecking her forehead, “If you guys need anything, let me know, ‘kay?”

“Thanks, Siri.” 

Gently Y/n pulled back the maroon curtain and sat down beside him again. James reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers. Something they used to do as kids. When a thunderstorm would go by, James would always seek sanctuary in his sister's comfort. 

He fell asleep that night, knowing he was safe, loved, and knew that someone cared about him. Even if Lily didn’t love him, at least someone else did. He had his boys, and he had his sister. Right now, that’s all he needed beside him: Screw Lily and her idiot decision skills. Y/n was right; she was a complete tosser. 

When Hogwarts was over, James and Y/n got a flat together. Sirius, Remus, and Peter got one only a floor above. Realistically this wasn’t the plan. James always planned to buy a house with Lily, but he was still healing, and after everything going on, it was vital for him to hold his sister close to him.

Euphemia and Fleamont barely lived to see their children graduate. Not too long afterward had died due to the horrid dragon pocks. It devastated both twins and Sirius. While Sirius wasn’t their true child, he very well could’ve. Euphemia noticed Sirius’s lingering stares on Y/n and the loopy smile that graced his features.

She was the one who got Sirius to man up. She was the one who gave him advice. She was the one who told him what books were her favorite, which chocolate she liked the best, her favorite quills. Euphemia was one of the main components in getting Sirius to date her daughter, and when it finally happened, the parents couldn’t have been happier.

James’ ADHD still remained even in his adulthood, making regular everyday tasks much harder and twice as long. Most of the time, the pills were able to help him complete those tasks. But sometimes, when Y/n wasn’t there to remind him, he would miss his days. When Y/n got home from work, she had barely taken off her shoes to see the apartment spotless.

It was a pleasant surprise, but James was never really one to clean, not that she really minded, but the apartment didn’t have a speck of dust on it. Hesitantly she put her keys on the island along with her bag.

“James!”

“Yes, Y/n?”

He appeared in the kitchen where Y/n was, “Um, did you clean the apartment?”

“Yes, I did!” James nodded enthusiastically.

Y/n sighed and gave her brother a sweet smile, “What did you not do today?”

“So, you know how you told me to go to the pharmacy?”

“Mhm.” Y/n nodded, “Indeed I do.”

“Well, they were out of my meds.” James informed, “I have to wait a week.”

“Oh, Merlin.”

“On the bright side!” James was already causing her a headache, “It’s gonna be a fantastic week! I’ve got so many things planned for us! We’re gonna go-“

James continued to ramble as Y/n grabbed her keys, bag and slipped back on her shoes, “I’m going to Sirius’!”

“Thought you were my sister.” James faked pouting, and Y/n smiled, “I love you, but you’re crazy.”

“I love you too!” He yelled as she closed the door.

[jimblejamblewritings]

what we were, what we are | part 5.

Summary: The worst thing that ever happened to Y/N Lupin was getting sent to Azkaban for a crime she didn’t commit. The second worst thing was when she got out on parole and not because her name was cleared. Trying to get her life back proves difficult when everyone has moved on into the present while she only has memories of the past.

Warnings for the Series: angst, smut

Pairing: james potter x black!reader, james potter x lupin!reader, sirius black x black!reader, sirius black x lupin!reader

Word Count: 5.8k

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

You were up before Sirius, trying to remove yourself from him without waking him up. Yeah, you didn’t like being alone after all the years of solitary confinement but you couldn’t forget the abandonment so easily. Part of you understood. A small part. Between you and a perceived dead Peter, a decision had to be made. If it had been anyone else then maybe no one would have suggested you. But it had been Peter. You and he were tied for most loyal and trustworthy amongst a friend group that had James Potter in it which was saying a lot.

That didn’t mean it didn’t sting. You hadn’t lied to your brother when you said that you weren’t angry. You were just disappointed. Or maybe you were too tired to be angry. You had spat filthy words at an imaginary Order in an Azkaban cell and then spent years rationalizing everything. You didn’t want them to act like they were responsible for leaving you but you couldn’t bring yourself to argue, having done enough of that in solitary.

“Uh… thank you,” you mumbled when Kreacher suddenly appeared with a cup of coffee for you and some pancakes.

He barely gave you a wave of acknowledgement. You were still so confused to see him, remembering how nasty he used to be when you were younger. The smell of pancakes brought Sirius to his senses. He looked towards the source to see you sitting in your armchair and chewing a bite.

“Good morning.”

“Morning.”

“You slept,” Sirius stated the obvious, scratching the back of his head.

You nodded. It was silent between the two of you for entirely too long. Sirius looked at you for the first time, truly looked at you. Your hair was shorter than before Azkaban. He was positive because some of it was too damaged to save. Your cheeks had started to plump up again now that you were properly eating but there were dark spots that he could almost mistake for moles or freckles on them that he knew weren’t there before. You always moved with your body closed in on itself rather than open shouldered like how you used to strut through Hogwarts.

And you shivered. You shivered a lot.

“Are you cold?”

“I’m fine, I’m always like this. The dementors.” You gave your usual response to everything.

“What is it like? The cold?” Sirius asked without thinking as he took his own breakfast from Kreacher who was complaining about how Remus wasn’t up yet.

You blinked. Usually when you mentioned dementors everyone hushed up. You could see all the guilt on their face as they tried to get rid of the uncomfortableness. Sirius didn’t move as you looked at him. The face of mistrust was back. He didn’t try to do anything but just let you assess him and come up to whatever conclusion you wanted. He deserved the look of mistrust, he and everyone else.

“It feels like being in ice water all the time. They take the warmth out of memories first. It’s when all the warmth is gone that they feed on the actual memory instead.”

You expected the look of guilt to wash over his face. The look that made you think it served everyone right but also scared you since you didn’t want them to leave because the guilt was too overwhelming for them. But instead, Sirius got up and draped the blanket over you.

“Is that better?”

“A bit.”

“I can charm another jumper for you or whatever you’re wearing to Prongs’ barbecue… Are you sure you want to go?”

“I have to, don’t I?”

“No, you don’t.”

“Siri—”

“I’m the last one to tell someone they have to stay when their family hurt them. That’s what you and Prongs were. If you don’t want to go, I don’t think anyone could blame you. If you don’t even want to stay here with Moony and me, that’s perfectly fine.”

“I don’t want to be alone,” you admitted.

That was all Sirius needed to hear to make him become your watchdog for the summer. He always sat with you in the living room. He helped coax you outside for a few minutes more at a time every day. He was never too far off whenever you all went to the Potters’ house or the Weasleys’ home. He ate almost every meal with you. You were only left alone to shower and if he could Remus wanted to try to mend things with you. You and your brother’s relationship was a fragile one that consisted of Remus having to relearn who you were as a person. His apology was one of the few that ever felt sincere when you had received it.

“You seem better,” Remus said as he stepped into your classroom, hands in his trouser pockets. Summer was over and you were back at Hogwarts.

“I think I’m getting there.”

“The classroom is nice.”

“Thank you.” You pointed to the floor to ceiling windows. “I wanted the ground floor so I could teach students on the patio. I have my own patio.”

“I’m so glad to see you coming outside again.”

“Padfoot was a lot of help.”

Remus just nodded at that. While he loved whatever helped you get back to yourself, he didn’t enjoy the time Sirius spent with you. It didn’t bother him at first. It was only when he noticed that he hadn’t seen the man go on anymore dates with wizards or muggles that it became an issue to him. Your first anniversary of being out of Azkaban was coming up. It had only been a year. He wanted you focused on getting better, not concerned about your friend’s feelings.

“Remmy!” You called him out of his thoughts. “I asked, are you finished with your classroom?”

“Yeah, it’s the exact same as last year. I didn’t change anything.”

“Then let’s go to dinner before the students arrive.”

Remus slung his arm around your shoulder.

“I know I’ve said it a bunch of times but I’m not going to stop. I’m sorry, (Y/N). I shouldn’t have ever doubted you. It doesn’t matter that it was Peter or whatever the Ministry had said. I should have come to see you and hear it from your mouth. Maybe I could have worked on proving your innocence. I’m grateful to have a second chance but it should have never happened in the first place.”

“Thank you, Remus.”

~~

“Are we still sneaking around like we��re fifth years? How long is this invisibility potion even going to last?” Sirius asked as he sniffed the potion but took it anyway.

“I just want to make sure that her class goes well,” Remus said.

James shrugged. “Harry’s in her class first, I have to admit that I’m a bit curious.”

“Well, if Little Moons catches us then I’m blaming you, Moony,” Sirius said.

It tasted like the worst tequila shot in his life. He stood with the other two Marauders outside your classroom window.

“Isn’t it kind of creepy that you two have almost the exact same handwriting?” James noted.

Remus shrugged. “Came in handy during school.”

Padfoot and Prongs looked at each other before looking at their precious Moony. “You mean to tell us that you actually cheated in school? Our perfect little Prefect?”

Remus rolled his eyes and ignored them to focus on you writing out some things. Your first round of fourth years bustled in. The men swore that none of their students had ever seemed that excited let alone on the first day of school.

Even if you weren’t exactly fond of it, you became a popular topic. You had to admit that you didn’t mind it as much with the students. After all, none of them had even been born when your incident occurred. It felt easier with children to try and be yourself again. Sirius had to cover his mouth when he barked out a laugh at seeing what you wrote on the board: The Better Professor Lupin.

“I think Little Moons is fine. Are those your NEWT and OWL scores?”

“She remembers those?!”

You let go of the floating chalk, not caring if it floated too high.

“I’m Professor Lupin. I know everyone hates review so we aren’t going to bother. These are all the spells I’m supposed to teach you before the year is over. Who wants to pick what we learn first?”

Everyone’s hands shot up. You had to look at your parchment for names, making a note to memorize them quickly.

“Let’s have Mr. Malfoy, Miss Granger, Mr. Potter, Miss Patil— oh, there are two. Well, Miss Patil then Miss Patil. Mr. Longbottom, Mr. Weasley, Mr. Finnigan, and Miss Abbott.”

You wrote the spells on the board in the order your students had wanted. Draco Malfoy picked the Summoning Spell first.

“Wands out. Yes, Miss Gra— Hermione. I think I’m going to call all of you by your first names if you don’t mind.”

“But we haven’t learned the history yet, the textbook.”

“Useless during class,” you said.

Hermione looked shocked while the rest of the class seemed rather pleased. You sat on your desk and fiddled with your wand. A quick head turn to see what you wrote on the board let you know that something was missing.  

“I forgot to say the schedule, didn’t I? Sorry, the memory gaps…”

The Marauders noticed you seemed more comfortable talking about what happened to you in Azkaban. You mentioned things casually if a problem was because of the dementors, no longer caring about people’s feelings. If they felt guilty and uncomfortable then that was what they felt.

“Whatever spell we are learning, it’ll all follow the same pattern. We pick the spell, I’ll tell you a story if I can remember one, we practice in class. You’ll read your textbook outside of class and write me essays due at the end of the two or three weeks dedicated to each spell. At least a foot and half of parchment either that includes a bit of the history, the benefits and risks of each spell, any innovative uses you can think of or your favorite use of it in history, a personal anecdote about you attempting the spell.”

Your students thought it was fair. Setting your wand down, you tapped your fingers on the desk as you tried to think of a story.

“Give me a— Ah, oh wait that one has a hole in the middle… Oh! When I was a fifth year, Jame—” Your eyes went wide. “I shouldn’t share embarrassing stories about your other professors.”

“I really want to hear this,” Harry spoke up. Remus and Sirius snickered as James’ jaw dropped at his own son’s betrayal. He already knew the story.

“Oh, well okay then. When we were in fifth year, one of our friends Marlene was late for a group picnic at the lake. James thought the summoning spell was appropriate and she came flying out of Hogwarts so fast that she slammed into him and they both fell into the lake. Which brings us to practical lesson number one… Please try not to summon living things.”

Your students’ chuckles made the three Marauders smile. You were doing well… Until you and Seamus had matching ash streaks across your face when you tried to show him the proper wand form.

Downing the antidote to the invisibility potion, Sirius immediately entered the classroom and walked over to you. He fixed the broken divination sphere that Seamus had been trying to summon. All summer relearning magic, you guys had somehow forgot to think of relearning Reparo before having students.  

“Are you okay?” Sirius asked, muttering a spell to clean your hand from the cut the divination sphere had caused. His thumbs brushed at the ash on your nose.

You just blinked. “How did you know something happened?”

“I-uh-I was j-just walking by.”

Sirius abruptly turned around and headed out of the classroom, not even stopping for James and Remus since he knew all of your students’ eyes were on him. He didn’t stop until he reached his own class. His eyes shut as he thought about how much of an idiot he had looked like only a few moments ago. In his empty room, the man gave out a laugh just as empty. He had been feeling it all summer but denied it. He couldn’t avoid it after what just happened.

A part of him felt sick with himself. Who was he to even think about liking you? You deserved better than him. Better than all of them. But helping you all summer, getting to know you better, he couldn’t help it. For the longest, you had just been Little Moons to him. He never looked at you in any way other than that. He even helped plan you and James’ wedding so Remus wouldn’t be stressed as the best man.

But something changed. It started out for your sake until Sirius found himself wanting to watch tv with you. He wanted to make you breakfast. He liked sitting in the grass with you or showing you muggle things. It was a feeling of comfort to him. Throwing his hair up into a bun, he started preparing for his own class. He was going to act like nothing happened. What he did was completely normal.

As the days turned into weeks, Sirius did more “completely normal” things. His feet instinctively carried him to your classroom once a day. He tried to get to meals early whenever possible so you weren’t squished between James and Remus but between him and one of the other Marauders.

Your students started to see little things in the Charms class that they remembered first seeing Muggle Studies, knowing that Professor Black had dropped off another present.

“Aun— Professor Moons!”

You stopped walking toward the staff table for breakfast when a student called your name. After Sirius slipped and accidentally called you Little Moons in front of everyone, your classes asked if they could call you Professor Moons. You didn’t mind because it helped avoid the confusion between you and Remus who both tended to walk over when a student called your name before retreating sheepishly when you realized they were asking for the other Lupin.

It was Harry who had called you, stuttering through it at first. At least once a week he slipped calling you, Remus, Siris, and James by your family titles instead of professor. He held up the textbook so he could ask you a question. Textbooks at meals shocked a lot of the staff.

Your teaching method actually had a good number of your students engaged in Charms even after class was over. Professor Flitwick was probably your biggest fan because now he had more kids asking him about taking NEWT level Charms and how to get there if they had been slacking in the past. You stood in front of Harry and his friends.

“The textbook says there’s a variation of Scourgify, if I learn it, can I write about that on the essay? I can’t really think of anything else to fill the parchment.”

“That’s fine. As long as it involves cleaning, I’ll count it as correct.”

“Thanks. Oh and your shoes.”

“Hmm?” You looked down to see that, once again, you were in only socks.

“I got it. Accio Professor Lupin’s shoes.”

You blinked as some blue tennis shoes landed in your hands. But they looked like kids shoes.

“These aren’t mine,” you said with confusion.

Harry laughed. “Unc— Professor Black keeps them in his classroom. We busted him last week when he brought them in after the full moon. All he said was in case Professor Lupin ever needs some stuff and then tried to put it in that one wardrobe with all of Uncle Remus’ Moony Night clothes like we wouldn’t notice. They’re charmed to fit whoever’s fit after you open the velcro. He said velcro was easier than laces for the hand shakes.”

You pulled at one of the velcro straps and the shoes did in fact enlarge to a size that looked exactly like your normal shoe size. At least you knew now why they had looked like kids’ shoes at first. Because they were. The shoes were blue. Remus’ favorite color if you remembered that correctly. It was something that you had let go at first but now couldn’t help thinking of it again after hearing your students gossip. They were never as quiet as they thought.

You knew all about Professor Black’s crush on the oblivious Professor Lupin. It wouldn’t be the first time that gossip has spread. Back in your Hogwarts school days, everyone thought that Remus and Sirius were going to get together. They were joined at the hip but there was always a tension there that didn’t seem to exist with everyone else. However, they never got together so you figured that you all had just misread everything.

But the shoes started to make you think that your students might have been correct. Not the shoes themselves but the fact that, according to Harry, Sirius tried to hide them. You didn’t even know he had a whole closet of clothes for Remus’ Moony Night. Maybe you should start doing that since your classroom was also on the ground floor of the school. You started to slip one shoe on, smiling a little at the jokes that the two Weasley twins were cracking.

The Marauders watched the entire scene from where they were already sitting for breakfast. James wore a small smile on his face. He never quite knew how to feel when it came to you and Harry interacting. It was even stranger whenever you guys came over to the Potter house over summer. He’d be lying to himself if he acted like small feelings for you weren’t there.

You guys never got closure. You were married and then suddenly you were out of his life as a murderer, then you were back in his life but on parole and then suddenly you were innocent and he was the awful one. And you both never sat down to talk about it.

He wanted to but felt like he shouldn’t be the first to say anything. It’d be fucked up to sit you down and discuss what happened, almost like rubbing it in your face. But he was starting to realize that his guilt hadn’t gone away as quickly as the others because of your relationship, because he still cared a little bit past platonic.

Watching you with Harry confirmed that for him. That was supposed to be your son, your family. He remembered how much you wanted kids. Not a lot but more than one. James never really cared either way. He wasn’t against children at all but wasn’t in a rush to have any, let alone feeling pressured to have multiple. You guys, much to your chagrin, had never even had a chance to try because you were spying so using protection was absolutely necessary.

James looked away, taking a sip of his tea. He loved Lily more than anything but he realized that he still had feelings for you and that was something he was going to have to work through on his own.

Sirius, however, kept looking as you started to walk towards the staff table. He could feel the heat creeping up his neck when Harry had summoned the shoes he kept in his room. You tended to walk out without shoes in the morning. One of the things you often forgot. While your magic was starting to come back, your forgetfulness and memory loss wasn’t recovering. At least not as quickly as the magic. He also noticed the shakes hadn’t stopped which was why he bought the velcro ones. You weren’t looking over your shoulder all the time in case of dementors. The hand tremors were simply a part of you now. Sirius realized that when they would shake even when you didn’t look scared. He figured it still had something to do with dementors but more like the gaps in your memory rather than fear.

“You keep shoes in your classroom?” you asked when you sat next to him.

“Uh, yeah,” he said, hoping you wouldn’t bring it up any further. He slid over a notebook. “I thought this might help you with remembering stuff. Or just writing down whatever you don’t want to forget.”

You gave him that smile that he’s grown to love even if it never reached your eyes. “Thanks, Sirius.”

He watched you open it, grabbing the little pen attached to it. The first page had a charmed calendar that automatically moved with the date. You started writing a checklist for your daily routine which included remembering to put shoes on before leaving your room. You dropped the pen and began to eat.

As you clicked your shoes together as you were trying to think of what to do with the new information you received that morning. If Sirius was crushing on Remus then you had to do something about it. This couldn’t be like when you guys were students. You knew Remus felt unworthy of relationships because of his werewolf status. If you weren’t going to get the guy then he had to. At least one Lupin needed a happy relationship. Plus if he was with Sirius then you never had to worry about them both leaving you.

You had started looking at cottages but stopped because you realized that it would mean living alone. Grimmauld wasn’t your favorite place. It was too dark inside. But it had people. The house didn’t matter too much because it had company.

You left breakfast early to go find your brother who was still recovering from his Moony Night. He tended to skip breakfast so he could try to at least be alert for his students. With Remus, you never had to knock on doors but just walk right in. He made sure he was always open and there for you. The groan that left your older brother’s mouth as you sat on the bed sounded like it belonged to a giant.

“Remmy, are you well enough to go to dinner with me this weekend?”

“Yeah, sure. Where?”

“Muggle place. Near the house, there’s a nice and fancy Italian restaurant.”

“The one with the carbonara and extra bacon?” He popped open an eye, suddenly very interested.

“Yeah. I’ll make the reservation. Just show up.”

“Alright, boss.”  

~~

Kreacher startled Sirius who was cleaning up the classroom he used for Duelling Club. The little elf handed him some parchment. He flipped it over a few times to see no name written anywhere. The message was simple: The fancy Italian restaurant near the house. Tomorrow night. I think we should go on a proper date.

The only thing that even remotely signified who sent it, aside from the handwriting that he immediately recognized, was a little crescent moon. His heart started to race at the thought of going on a date with you. He didn’t even care that Remus might kill him later. You asked him out and he wasn’t missing it for the world. For the first time in a long time, Sirius took an insane amount of time getting ready. He washed his hair despite having washed it two days ago and ran some hair butter loosely through it. His bun was the neatest he had ever made it, leaving a piece out on one side in the front.

Picking an outfit was even harder. Should he show off his tattoos? What style did you think looked best on him? Nice leather boots or dress shoes? He decided to go with what he knew looked best on him. Black boots, black trousers, leather jacket, and a black button down with the sleeves rolled up and a couple buttons undone. Should he get you flowers? He didn’t even know what your favorite flowers were. You couldn’t remember so you said your other favorite plant— scotch moss— and that you would get back to him when you remembered.

You never got back to him on the flowers and he very well couldn’t bring you a pot of scotch moss. With a sigh, he apparated to the Potter’s house. James always went home on the weekends and the occasional weekday during the school year. Sirius knocked on the door with a bit of hesitation.

“Hey, Red, where’s Prongs?”

“Hi, Sirius. He’s out de-gnoming the backyard.”

With a nod, Sirius walked right through the house towards the garden.

“Are you going on a date?” Lily asked, noting how dressed up her friend seemed.

“Yeah. Prongs! What’s Little Moons’ favorite flower?” Sirius cringed to himself when he noticed the slight face Lily tried not to make before she stepped back inside. He should’ve been a bit more tactful in asking.

“Wild poppies, she likes how they go with scotch moss. Wait, are you going on a date with (Y/N)? Are you seriously going on a date with (Y/N)?”

“Why do you sound like you care?”

“I…”

Sirius’ eyes squinted a bit before he just sighed. “Look, I have to go or I’ll be late. We’ll talk about you later.”

Sirius held the bouquet of wild poppies close to his chest as he entered the restaurant. There was a bit of a line. He knew the restaurant was popular but he didn’t know it was that popular. None of the muggles knew him but he still felt like all their eyes were on him as he approached the hostess.

“I think the reservation’s under (Y/N)… Lupin, then?”

The hostess perked up and guided him to the second floor of the restaurant and towards the back. He looked around as he was escorted. You guys had only ever ordered pick-up from the restaurant so he only ever saw the first floor. Downstairs was casual while upstairs was certainly built for date nights, dinner parties, or fancy business meetings. The hostess finally stopped at a table pressed right against a large window overlooking London before darting away as quick as possible so she wouldn’t be a nuisance to the couple.

“Padfoot,” Remus said excitedly through bites of the complimentary bread. “Hi.”

Your brother had been a bit dejected when you said that you weren’t feeling very well. You had told him to go ahead and have dinner without you and you would see if either James or Sirius could join him.

You trusted Sirius to make the first move if provoked and Remus to go along with it if ambushed. So your friend knew that it was a date and your brother thought he was just going to dinner. Remus chuckled as he took the flowers from his friend’s hand.

“You brought me flowers, you shouldn’t have,” he said with a chuckle.

Sirius didn’t have words as he sat down. Curse you and Remus for having the same handwriting. He sat down anyway. It wasn’t like he was going to leave his friend. He would just have to find a way to let Remus down gently but one date wasn’t going to kill him.

Dinner went as great as he expected it to go. It was two Marauders hanging out. Every time the waiter brought out another course or came to check on them, Sirius ordered another round of alcohol. He took another sip of the whiskey he ordered as the dessert was brought out.

“Look, Moony, I really like you. I do. But as a friend. I think we work better as friends.”

“How drunk are you?”

“Very but that’s not the point. We should just be frie—”

“Pads, what the hell are you talking about?”

“You asking me out on a date.”

Remus choked on his drink. “I’m sorry I did what?”

“This. A date. I got your message loud and clear.”

“Okay you were right about being very drunk. Whatever (Y/N) told you, I don’t think she meant an actual date. She just didn’t want me to eat alone.”

Sirius’ eyebrows scrunched up. “You didn’t write the letter?”

“What letter?”

The letter was pulled out of Sirius’ pocket and handed over. Remus kept reading the same lines over and over again. He could see why Sirius was confused but he was confused as well. Why would you be so cryptic about a letter? Practical jokes had never been your thing growing up. Unless this was your attempt at one? But the two of you also had this date set already and you had only started feeling bad this morning. Remus’ eyes closed before slowly opening again.

“I think our students’ rumors have been going around.”

“Rumors?”

“Professor Black is in love with Professor Lupin, I hear it a lot in my class. They seem to forget often that my hearing is better than others.”

Sirius groaned, placing his head in his hands. “Why couldn’t you have been straight, Moony? She got fucking confused.”

Your older brother just laughed. “I’m sorry my sexuality is making our students try to play matchma— Professor Black is in love with Professor Lupin. Don’t tell me you were trying to take my sister out on a date. Padfoot, what the fuck?”

“Remus, this isn’t the same as other times.”

“You mean other times where it’s just a fling? Oh is she going to last five months instead of three or four?”

“I would never do tha—”

“She just got her life back, Sirius. What the actual hell do you think you’re doing trying to ruin it?”

“You’re right! I did ruin it and so did you. You didn’t visit her once in Azkaban so don’t act like you weren’t awful to her as well. I ruined her, so did you and so did James.”

“She’s still in love with him,” Remus said with a straight face. “You’re fucking going after her even though she’s not over him.”

“Piss off, Remus.” Sirius stood up, taking the wine bottle off the table with him as he started to leave.

“Try to touch her and I’ll kill you, Padfoot.”

Sirius didn’t respond as he staggered back down the stairs of the restaurant. He only stopped drinking from the wine bottle to mutter the word Hogwarts in one of the public Floo Network stations. His head was pounding as he rolled out the Great Hall fireplace. Nursing a hangover wasn’t something he wanted to do the next morning. While Sirius was very drunk, he was still cognizant enough to think about getting himself something from the kitchen to make him a little less hungover in the morning. The wine bottle was officially empty as he stepped into the kitchen.

“(Y/N)?”

You looked up from where you were crying into your very large glass of whiskey. Sirius set the bottle on the counter and immediately moved to pull you into a hug. Both of you stumbled towards his classroom, barely getting through the door that led to his chambers.  

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong, sweetheart? Sorry,” he quickly added when you started crying even harder at the word sweetheart. He had already forgotten that was James’ pet name for you.

Sirius felt his jaw clench tighter as you told him about the talk you and James had shortly after he had left the Potter residence. He couldn’t find closure with just himself and he ended up still not finding it with you after talking in the school’s kitchen. He admitted to you that the feelings were still there and he was still processing that, not quite sure what that meant for him.

“He’s fucking selfish,” Sirius muttered as he stroked your hair.  

You pouted in agreement. “I wish I could forget about him.”

“Do you want to?” He tilted your head upwards. “I can help you forget. Please let me.”

The tiniest nod from you was all Sirius needed. He leaned in until his lips were barely brushing against yours. Your hands gripped his shirt, fingertips barely touching the part of his chest that was exposed.

“What about Remus?”

Sirius just laughed as his hands held the sides of your face. “Your bloody brother’s not the Lupin I’m in love with.”

His lips felt so soft against yours. Both of you tasted like wine and whiskey but neither seemed too bothered by it. Reluctantly, Sirius pulls away to start pressing kisses to your jaw. His hands gently kneaded your body as he pulled you more onto the bed. The first moan that left your lips when his knee slotted between your legs did Sirius in. He scrambled to take off his clothes as quickly as possible, cursing himself for wearing boots to his fake date. It felt like every part of your body had been kissed by Sirius before he pushed himself into you. You both were invested in making the other one feel as good as possible.

“Where can I cum?” Sirius asked through another moan.

“Inside.” You kissed him as best as possible. “Inside is okay.”

“Gonna be the death of me.”

He tried not to settle all his weight on you as you both laid there for a moment. You were both entirely too exhausted to move a lot, letting Sirius use magic to clean you both up before settling naked under the covers. Closing his eyes, he enjoyed you playing with his hair that was no longer in the bun but down in beautiful waves. Your fingers gently moved downwards to start tracing each of his tattoos.

“Yours are so pretty,” you murmured.

Sirius picked up your arm with the Dark Mark on it. The magic Voldemort had used on his followers made the tattoos harder to cover or get rid of than previously thought. The ink looked a bit faded but that was the best you could get at the moment. Sirius pressed his lips to your tattoo.

“You did what you had to do. Yours is a survivor’s mark.”

He pulled you closer to hold you properly as you slept. Sirius’ soft snores woke you up in the morning. The sound wasn’t new to you. Whenever you had nightmares, you found yourself on the couch with him watching television until you both somehow fell asleep. But the feeling of skin underneath your hand was foreign. Groggily, you sat up to see a naked Sirius. You practically darted out of the bed once you realized that you were also naked. Did you two sleep with each other?

You tried your best to remember but between the memory loss and the alcoho— you both were drunk. You remembered that much. Cursing to yourself, you started to get dressed. You just slept with your friend while he’s trying to date your brother. The hickey on Sirius’ neck made you cringe to yourself. And you couldn’t have slept with him discreetly? Leaving the poor man alone, you scampered back to your room, deciding to eat breakfast on your classroom patio instead of the Great Hall.

(Part 6)

[hpimaginesandblurbs]

Hey! I hope you’re doing well, I was wondering if you could do a poly Remus/reader/Sirius smut where the reader is having a stressful time in classthey are degrading her a lot and Sirius slaps her because she’s not being “good” and she immediately calls out her safe word (red) and they stop and get in bed and cuddle and talk about how they can help and say little praises and tell her they love her for the first time, if not that’s completely 100% ok. I just haven’t read one before where she’s called out her safe word :)

pairing: reader x remus lupin x sirius black 

warning(s): pg-13ish, polyamory, degradation, slapping, safeword use, praise, cuddles, soft bois 

word count: 1.2k 

a/n: the love i have for these two is seriously unmatched. no pun intended. theyre two of my comfort characters and i just want to cuddle with them once. thats all i ask. anywho updates might be slow over the weekend but if you requested something it’ll be up soon! 

“And why did you get detention again?” Remus asked, rounding the bed until he was at the foot of it, facing you directly. 

“I- I skipped some homework,” you replied, nerves rushing through you as your boyfriends stared down at your kneeling form on the bed. 

In your defense, it had been a tough week. All of your classes decided it would be a great time to pile up the work, so you had to pick which homework you were going to do. You got all of the important work out of the way - readings for McGonagall, a paper for Slughorn, and in all honesty way too much work for Arithmancy than it was worth. You had classes that were your priorities, but your other ones were a struggle. 

“That wasn’t very good of you, was it puppy?” Sirius asked you, shoulder to shoulder with Remus. 

You looked up at them with a plea in your eye. You couldn’t handle this today. You were already stressed and the last thing you needed was one of their punishments. You were already beating yourself up enough. 

They probably thought you were just slacking off, but you hadn't seen them enough this week to really tell them what was going on - too wrapped up in your work. Punishments were supposed to be for when you were just being a brat, but you actually tried so hard to be good that even the thought of what they could do to you put you on edge. 

Fed up with your silence, Sirius pushed you further. He leaned down on the bed, palms against the red sheets, eye level with you. “Are you stupid?” He asked, his eyes dark. 

“N- no,” you stuttered out, doing your best to not look him in the eye. 

“Well you’re acting really fucking stupid right now. A dumb little girl who doesn’t do her work. You know what happens to stupid girls?” He pressed.

You blushed heavily and looked down at your thighs, unable to give him an answer. You knew what happened. You just didn’t want it today. You didn’t even think you deserved it but you weren’t sure what you could say to make them see otherwise before it was too late. 

“Answer him,” Remus pressed from behind him, his tone so menacing that it sent a shiver through your spine. 

They waited you out for a moment, waiting to see if you would say anything, but you couldn’t bring yourself to talk. If you opened your mouth you would start crying and that’s also something you didn’t want. 

In one quick movement, Sirius gripped your chin in a strong grip while his other came and cracked across your face. You couldn’t even move your head to ease the sting, left with a sharp pain that made your eyes water.  

“Answer me,” he said again roughly and you knew his eyes were trained on your face even though you weren’t looking at him. 

“R-Red,” you whimpered, the only answer you could give him. 

Immediately, his hands were off of you and moving away from you, giving you space for a minute. The room was so silent you could almost hear a pin drop besides your heavy breathing and the beginning of your tears. 

“What’s going on, sweetheart?” Remus asked, finally stepping into action and coming over to sit on the bed beside you. He gently put a hand on your back and that was all it took for you to bury your face in his chest, the both of you falling backwards on the bed. 

He settled you against him and just held you while you cried. As incompetant as he was with his own emotions, he had always been good with you. He knew you just needed to get it out before questioning you any further. 

And although you couldn’t see him, you could practically feel the nervous energy rolling off of Sirius. He wanted to do something to help you so badly, but he was worried he would push a boundary by getting any closer to you. He was the one that pushed you over the edge, after all. 

Finally, your tears settled into weak sniffles which Remus took as a cue that you might be ready to talk. 

“Talk to us, lamb. What’s going on?” He asked you gently, continuing to run his hand up and down your back. 

“I tried really hard this week. That’s why I’ve barely been around. I had so much work and I couldn’t get it all done and now I have detention and I didn’t mean to be bad and-,” you began to ramble, but Sirius swiftly cut you off, finally speaking up. 

“Woah, woah, slow down, pup,” he said, making your head snap in his direction. He looked like he had seen a ghost, but his determined Gryffindor attitude could push him through any situation. “There’s nothing bad about trying, okay? I wish you had told us. You did the best you could and that’s all we want,” he finished, a fondness coming to his eyes as he watched you visibly calm at his words. 

“We know how much school means to you. That’s why we put those rules there for you. We’re not upset with you, okay?” Remus continued on to Sirius’ thought. 

“Yeah, o-okay,” you agreed with a shaky sigh, beginning to feel a bit better. “It’s just been a long week.” 

“You know you can come and talk to us whenever, right? You don’t have to suffer on your own. And I know we have our own work, but we’ll help you whenever we can. We don’t like seeing you this stressed,” Remus told you, tilting his neck so he could look down at your face. 

“And besides, James is a nerd so we can always nick homework off of him if you need to copy someone besides us,” Sirius added with a small giggle, bringing a smile to your face. 

Suddenly, Sirius flipped you around so you were face to face with him, making you giggle. But your laughter was cut short when you saw how serious his face looked once more. 

“I love you so much, alright? And I never want to see you this upset again. I feel horrible I pushed you like that. So whenever you need me, I’m always here, darling. I love you,” he told you, his nose nuzzling against yours. 

“You’re serious?” You asked, shocked by his sudden revelation. None of you had shared that particular sentiment yet, and you couldn’t help but ask. 

But when Sirius cocked a brow at you and Remus let out a bark of laughter from behind you, you knew it had been a stupid question to ask your boyfriend. 

“I’ll let that slide. Yes, I’m serious,” Sirius told you with a small smirk on his face but the truth was in his eyes. 

“And for what it’s worth,” Remus added, curling around you from behind, “I love you too, sweetheart. So much.” 

You let a smile creep onto your face as you took their words in, feeling the best you had felt in days wrapped in their arms. 

“I love you two. The both of you. More than you know,” you told them confidently, finally feeling whole.

[angie-likes-to-art]

Fic Recs (Marauder Edition)

I wanted to share my favorite series/ one shots while I work on my own, please show some love to these amazing writers! Can you tell I’m procrastinating writing an essay? Anyway, while I was looking through my likes for Bucky and Steve fics, I found some Marauders fics that deserve some love too!

Marvel Fic Recs: One Two

Revenge (Series, Ongoing, On Hold) By @theweasleysredhair

Pairing: Sirius x Reader Summary: “A series based on the events in the film John Tucker Must Die”

Meeting the Marauders By @v1oletvenus

Pairing: Marauders x Reader (Platonic/ Flirty) Summary: “you're a transfer student being given a tour of the castle on your first day at hogwarts before the sorting ceremony, and in a certain red and gold common room, you meet four boys who call themselves 'the marauders'.”

The Obvious and the Oblivious By @theboywhocriedlupin

Pairing: Remus x Ravenclaw!Reader Summary: ”Oblivious Remus finally notices your obvious flirting, but despite his feelings for you, he's more worried about his furry little problem hurting you in the long run.”

What Happened Last Night? (Series, Completed) By @vegan-peppermint (18+ Only)

Pairing: Sirius x Reader Summary: “The Gryffindors party got a little wild last night. You spend the day having flashbacks about what happened last night between you and Sirius”

Love Potion No. 9 By @coastcities

Pairing: Remus x Reader Summary: “Working on a prank, you brew some Amortentia, but before you pull it off, your friends take turns finding out what it smells like.”

Just Go With It (Series, Completed) By @theboywhocriedlupin

Paring: Remus x Reader Summary: “Remus is tired of being teased about not having a girlfriend. He finally snaps before class and tells his friends he’s dating the girl sitting next to him. You. Seeing as you’ve liked him for years, you decide to just go with it.”

Stamina By @inkinflux (18+ Only)

Pairing: James x Reader, Remus x Reader Summary: “James and Remus regularly take part in a bit of healthy competition, but this time it’s gotten a little out of hand. When they try to determine who has the most stamina, they call upon you to help, and you’re more than happy to take part.”

Amortentia By @daninotfound

Pairing: Remus x Reader Summary: “Just when Remus thought he was overcoming his crush for you, you wind up drinking a potion that makes you fall in love with him.”

Drooling Like a Dog By @deathlyhogwarts

Pairing: Sirius x Reader Summary: “Here’s A request! Sirius x Reader! The Reader is friends with the Marauders and Is very close with Them, While Sirius is Head over heels for the reader. The reader finds the boys with a black dog (they don’t know abt the werewolf stuff) and just asks if this is their dog and just gives Sirius belly rubs, kisses and etc, and someone nicknames him a ridiculously generic dog name since she knows of their nickname. The boys are aware of Sirius liking the reader and kinda tease him abt it”

Sugar and Spice By @untildawnremus

Pairing: Remus x Reader x Sirius Summary: “Hello Love , I found your blog recently and would like you to know how lovely and cute and amazing it is. Also i saw you had your requests open, and wold like to request an one shot whit either Sirius or Remus, where the reader is a cooky, funny and sarcastic person and always has an answer on the tip of her tong and the Marauders get kinda baffled . Only write it if you'd like to , obviously All the love a huge fan of yours - Anonymous”

Eat, You’ll Feel Better By @loonylupinn

Pairing: Remus x Reader Summary: “remus confesses just feelings for the reader after a night in the hospital wing”

Late By @futurewriter2000

Pairing: Remus x Slytherin!Reader Summary: “Imagine where you're dating remus but you're a slytherin and you guys have a "lovely" night ;););) and in the morning on the first class macgonagall or snaps is like "Lupin, L/N I believe that's not your houses" and everyone looking realising that he has your slytherin tie and you have his Gryffindor tie pleaseeee”

Howlers By @inkinflux (18+ Only)

Pairing: Sirius x Reader, Remus x Reader Summary: “Sirius sends a Howler to Remus as a joke, its contents explicit about Remus' lycanthropy. Once you overhear, both Sirius and Remus' secrets are divulged, as well as their mutual interest in you.”

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Absurd ideas [Sirius Black x Reader]

Title: Absurd ideas Pairing: Sirius Black x Female!Reader and Remus Lupin x Own Character Word count: 4.7k Published: 12 January 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore  Notes: Not my best work, but I hope some of you will enjoy it. Summary: Sirius’ jealousy causes a misunderstanding which inevitably ends up with him getting worked up and everyone else being confused. Most of all you, when you realise he thinks he knows what you feel, but he couldn’t be farther from the truth. Bingo: [x] This is part of my Make me feel Bingo Card by @girl-next-door-writes​​

Square filled: Mutual Pinning

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

Make me feel Bingo Masterlist

If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. Of course, it’s completely your choice, I will continue updating for free anyway :) Thank you <3

You were seated in a room, rubbing your tired eyes on a bed that didn’t even belong to you. It wasn't just any room with any bed though. You were in the male dormitory of the Gryffindor House of Hogwarts, seated in the marauder's bedroom, specifically on Sirius Black's bed. Just like on every full moon, you waited for the boys impatiently, to make sure that they were in one piece as they arrived back from their wild adventures.

It was about 5am when the sun started to rise. You barely slept an hour or two, waking up almost every half an hour, concern and worry taking over you with a pinch of insomnia that you were used to on a daily basis. The boys should have been back already, but they took their sweet time, making you even more anxious, than you dared to admit. You took deep breaths to calm yourself down, just as the door opened with a loud thud hitting the wall behind it.

Looking at the entrance, you saw James first, holding up a barely conscious Remus, whose arm hung off his friend's shoulder, before you saw Sirius on his other side, helping James carrying the boy. You ran up to them and hurried them over to Remus' bed, wanting to check on the boy as soon as you could. They placed him on his bed as gently as they could and stood back, giving you just enough space. They stood silently with hunched backs, visible dark circles under their eyes and tired expressions across their face as they watched you.

You ran to the bathroom to fill up a bowl with lukewarm water and took a face cloth off the towel rack. You walked back to the room, balancing the water in your hands, the bowl wobbling unsteadily, splashing a bit of water on the floor. Silly you didn't bring your wand, so you had to improvise.

By the time you arrived back in the room, James and Sirius already undressed Remus and threw his clothes on the floor, on the other side of the bed.

You set the items down on the nightstand next to Remus and turned towards the other boys. Peter was already in bed, slightly snoring, which caused you to shake your head with a gentle smile. He must have been exhausted and you didn’t blame him for it. You couldn’t have imagined what they were going through each full moon, but from the stories you’ve heard and the state they always returned in, you understood most of it.

James was sitting on his bed, his back hunched, his neck hiding in between his shoulders, his face hidden behind his palms. The deep, tired sighs and the posture he took on screamed for a well-deserved rest, but the boy was restless until he knew his friend was safe.

Sirius however didn’t return to his side of the dorm. He was still standing next to Remus' bed with an exhausted expression, but more of a concern for his friend. He seemed to be the most worn out of all the boys, except for Remus. You knew he wouldn’t listen, but you wanted nothing but for them to finally rest.

"Sirius, Remus is going to be fine. So just go ahead and rest. Get some sleep," you told him as you nudged his shoulder, tilting your head towards his bed. “You too Mister, you need to recharge,” you pointed at James who let out a silent and exhausted laughter.

"It's fine, we have to take care of Remus,” Sirius turned back to you, but you had no intention of taking no for an answer. You got hold of his shoulder and started gently nudging him to his bed. He chuckled at your attempt, but you didn’t find it funny, not in the situation you were in. You pushed him down on his bed, in a sitting position and placed your hands on your hips, giving him a deadly glare.

"I get it, you are worried, but leave him to me. You need to sleep. It’s written all over your faces how exhausting tonight has been. So, please, just listen to me,” you didn’t wait for them to agree, you turned around and walked back to Remus. You started off by cleaning the injuries on his face first, before you continued with his arms and then legs as you crouched down next to his bed. Blood was still dripping from his body from some of the more serious injuries. He involuntarily hissed each time you cleaned an open wound and you apologised every time you caused him even more pain. You looked up at his face, feeling guilty for hurting him even more, but you knew it was necessary.

"It’s been very hard to handle him tonight. Even before sundown he said he felt anxious and restless," James spoke up as he took off his trousers and got comfortable in his bed.

"It's over now, so don't think about it, guys. Get some sleep and by the time you wake up, all of you will be just fine," you smiled gently as you continued to apply a cream on Remus' wounds that Madam Pomfrey gave to the boy. You were so focused on your task to take care of Remus, you couldn’t even sense a presence behind you.

"Thank you for helping us," you heard and turned around to meet the most beautiful grey eyes. Sirius leaned down to you, his long black locks falling into his face and hinted a small kiss on the top of your head.

"You don't have to thank me. I feel better knowing my friends are in good hands," you replied with a tender smile. "And now go to bed, before I force you myself," you laughed softly.

"Now that makes me want to stay and wait it out," he chuckled playfully as you pushed his chest away from you.

"Shush, just get some rest, Sirius," you smiled, shaking your head, before turning back to Remus to continue his treatment.

You stole Remus’ wand to perform a couple of easier healing spells to speed up his recovery, before placing it back on the nightstand beside him.

It took you only a couple of minutes to finish taking care of him, but by the time you were done, you could hear mixed sounds of snoring coming from all over the room. You smiled at the idyllic moment, giving you a certain warm feeling to be able to see one of the most important people in your life being so peaceful.

You looked up at Remus’ face, whose painful expression has finally disappeared and has become more relaxed, somewhat content. You sat on the floor, beside his bed and laid your head on the edge, feeling exhausted. You could barely keep your eyes open anymore and before you knew it, they closed on their own.

However, you didn't realise the saddened grey pair of eyes gazing at you, as you decided to stay by his friend's side. He didn't want to be jealous, especially not in a situation where he knew his friend needed you more, but your presence so close to someone else beside himself made him feel uneasy. He shook the thoughts off as soon as he could, feeling guilty about his own emotions and tried to sleep, rolling from left to right. Exhausting, he was more than ever, but sleep didn’t take him immediately. Your sleeping beside his friend didn’t let him rest.

He got out of his bed and picked up the blanket laying at the foot of his bed, before he walked behind you and gently placed the cover over your shoulders. You sniffled in your sleep and scrunched up your nose, making him smile at your adorable expression. He removed a loose piece of hair from your face, adoring your sleeping form, before he went back to his bed and finally fell asleep. Your adorable expression being the last thing he saw before he fell into slumber left a small smile across his face.

*

You were seated in the Gryffindor common room, legs hanging over the arm of your chair as you looked over to the sofa from time to time, ignoring the book in your hands. You didn’t necessarily want to eavesdrop, but you were in the same space, so you couldn’t pretend not to hear the conversation between Remus, Sirius and James.

"When are you going to tell her?" James asked Remus. The boy’s face turned red, heavily blushing under his friends’ intense gaze.

"Can we just leave this subject?" He asked frowning, clearly unhappy about the conversation his friend initiated.

"No, we can’t. It couldn’t be more obvious that you like her. You can't keep avoiding it," James shook his head, heaving a deep sigh.

"I am not avoiding it. I can't tell her," Remus whispered, but his tone seemed agitated.

"And why in Godric's name is that?" James pushed, being tired of the same conversation over and over again. You have heard about Remus’ crush before, it wasn’t anything new, but Remus always found a reason, a fault within him that he used as an excuse not to confess his feelings.

"Because I would risk her life. Even if I took the necessary precautions, how would I explain to her that I had to disappear on every full moon? It's just impossible, James," he replied, heaving a sigh in defeat. “And why would she even like me? It’s just a lost cause, guys, so let’s just forget it,” seeing his pain, you couldn't stop the apologetic expression from spreading across your face. You felt sorry for him, for not having enough confidence in himself, for thinking so lowly of his personality and looks. He was an amazing person and you just didn’t understand how he couldn’t see that.

Without your knowledge though, someone else realised the change in your demeanour. He thought he was over feeling uneasy about you and his friend’s relationship, but to see you being upset about his friend talking about another girl, made his heart clench. He didn’t want to admit how badly your reactions to Remus affected him, but he couldn’t ignore the pain in his chest whenever he caught your eyes focused on his friend. He felt guilty, he knew he shouldn’t have felt the way he did, but he couldn’t control his feelings.

He knew you felt empathetic towards his friend, he knew you had a very close friendship, but from his point of view, he thought your side of the friendship was beyond what you should feel for a friend. He felt as if you were closer to his friend as if he was only second on an invisible list. He was hurt by the realisation that he came to find. That maybe, just maybe, you had feelings for his friend.

"Hi Remus,” a blonde girl walked down the stairs of the female dormitory, heading towards the exit of the Gryffindor common room with a shy smile across her face, eyes focused only on Remus. “Hey, guys,” she quickly added as she realised they weren’t the only one in the room.

"Hi Jane." Remus replied with a slight blush, watching as the girl offered him a soft smile.

"And there it is again," James quipped in as the girl left. He threw his hands in the air, worked up about his friend’s obliviousness. You giggled at the dramatic moment, finding James’ reaction funny. "Just do something already. She barely even realised our existence,” James groaned playfully, but before Remus could have replied, you interrupted.

"Let’s say that I know if she likes you or not. Would that change anything?” you asked as three pairs of curious eyes focused on you.

“Yes, it would,” James replied, making you giggle.

“I asked Remus,” you shook your head playfully.

“It wouldn’t change the fact that I have a couple of problems on my own,” he grimaced, clearly repeating all his faults in his head over and over again.

“You deserve happiness, Remus. We accepted your furry little problem, we love you the way you are. Do you really think no one else can accept that?” you raised a questioning brow, waiting for a reply, which never came. “So, would it change anything if you knew how she felt?” you pushed his buttons.

“Maybe- I think so-“ his unsure answer didn’t convince you, but the fact that he didn’t give you a straight up no, was a positive step ahead for you.

“Well, if it helps, she likes you,” a tender smile spread across your face as the words left your lips.

"As if," Remus shook his head with a gloomy whisper, once again trying to write himself down.

"Oh, I might have misunderstood the love letter she wrote you a couple of days ago. My bad," you shrugged acting as if it was your fault, trying to lift the negative mood.

"Wait what?" Remus looked at you in disbelief.

"Oh, now you care, huh?" you chuckled at his sudden interest.

"I mean..." He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. You placed your hand in the pocket of your robe and pulled out a green envelope. You might have accidentally stolen the letter from your shared room, before Jane could have realised that it was undelivered. You weren’t necessarily friends, but she did ask you about Remus most of the time and you had quite pleasant conversations at times.

“It’s here,” you held the envelope in the air, between your index and middle finger, looking at it as if it was the most interesting object you have ever seen. Remus furrowed his brows looking at the letter, clearly concerned.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. I shouldn’t open it unless she gives it to me,” he argued, but you just shook your head.

“I would agree, if she didn’t send this letter already. You see, technically she sent this letter to you 2 days ago and she thinks you already got it. But when her owl brought it back undelivered, she was out of the room, so I took the envelope from her owl. It, kind of skipped my mind until now,” you explained, trying to reassure him. He debated his options, before he jumped up from the couch, grabbed the letter out of your hand and ran upstairs. You chuckled at his eager behaviour which grew into a laughter as a curious James followed Remus up the stairs.

"Why would you do that?" Sirius asked, shaking his head, which made you confused.

"What do you mean?" you asked, trying to understand your friend. "I want him to be happy," you chuckled as you walked up to the couch he was seated on and sat down beside him.

"Isn't it painful?" he frowned, which caused you to return his expression, feeling as if you were supposed to know about something that you didn’t.

"Why would it be? I don't understand you Sirius," you shook your head. “Hey, what are you on about?” you tried again, but instead of talking Sirius seemed as if he was in pain. You threw your arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug, one that he has not given you for a while.

He has been rather distant, and you didn’t know how to interpret his behaviour. The boy was the closest to your heart, you could always share everything with him. If you were down and needed a shoulder to cry on, he was there. If you were excited and happy, having the best day of your life, he was the one who was beside you, enjoying your happiness first-hand.

He hid his face in the crook of your neck, pulling you closer to him, enjoying your warm embrace. He wished he could hug you more often, but it hurt him to think he was just a replacement instead of his friend.

“Hey, Sirius, talk to me,” you tried again to understand what was going on in his mind, but he just shook his head and heaved a heavy sigh. You kept running your hands through his soft hair, soothing the boy. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” you asked, which he responded to with a nod.

"Just forget it. Don’t mind me,” he spoke as he let go of your embrace and leaned back. “I was talking nonsense,” he smiled at you, but you could see through it. It wasn’t a genuine, happy smile; it was phony and forced. “I will go and check up on the boys,” he said and after placing a small kiss on the top of your head, he walked over to the stairs leading up to the male dormitory and disappeared behind the wall, leaving you with an utterly confused expression.

You have had a crush on Sirius for as long as you could remember and the thought of him distancing himself from you hurt. He was the only person you felt accepted you with all your faults and weaknesses, even more so than your friends and to think he was pushing you away felt like a stab in your chest.

*

Days passed by and Sirius' unusual behaviour didn't stop.

Remus and Jane finally started dating and you couldn't have been happier for them. Remus decided to push his worries aside, give it a go and experience love. What he didn’t expect was to feel content, relaxed, recharged as if he was always in a happy bubble. You were proud of him for choosing happiness.

However, as much as you wanted to see the new couple and sit down with them, have a fun little conversation, tease them a bit about being so oblivious to each other’s feelings, you didn't have much opportunity to do so. Sirius made it his mission to drag you away from the couple every single time you were in the same place or anywhere near them.

Whilst you loved spending time with Sirius, his usually slightly cocky and playful behaviour became dull and mostly upset. You tried to talk to him about it, but he didn’t give in. He always tried to shake you off with a ‘whatever’, ‘never mind’ or ‘doesn’t matter’. As if he was incapable of opening up to you. Which has never happened before.

You were sitting beside the Black lake, leaning against the trunk of a tree with Sirius next to you and the happy couple cuddled up to each other in front of you. It could have been a romantic little double date if you dared to confess your feelings for Sirius and if he didn’t wear that dark, dissatisfied expression of his.

Sirius sat beside you with a book in his hands, which in itself made you feel strange. Not that you had a problem with him reading, it was just a slightly unusual sight to see.

You leaned your head on his shoulder and looked up at him, wandering your gaze over his long, dark lashes, plump pink lips and unusual frown in between his brows. He was a beautiful man, but as much as you wished to be able to look at him as a friend, you just couldn’t.

Occasionally you caught his gaze wondering to Remus and Jane with his frown growing deeper, his jaw clenching as if the happy couple disturbed him in some sort of way.

"Is everything okay?" you asked him, lifting your head, placing your palms on his shoulder and crossing your fingers, laying your chin on the top of your hands. "You seem troubled," you concluded.  

"I'm fine," he replied, shaking his head, once again looking at the couple as they giggled happily about something. "Are you okay?" he asked as he looked into your eyes, as if he was trying to read you. You nodded in reply, a small smile spread across your face, feeling happy about being so close to him once again. You turned towards Remus and Jane, their happiness making you feel even more content.

"I'm all good," you replied looking back at his handsome features. His eyes however left you once again as the couple chuckled at something funny.

"Can you stop?" he growled in anger, causing you to pull back from your position, your eyes wandering between him and Remus. Jane and Remus looked just as confused as you, unable to understand Sirius’ problem.

"What is wrong with you?" Remus asked, but Sirius shook his head.

"You! I’m just fed up with you!” he groaned, clearly agitated. “Can’t you see how much pain and suffering you’re causing?" he hissed in anger. You’ve never seen Sirius act in such manner with his friends and from what you could read off Remus’ face, he was unfamiliar with this side of him too. Sirius seemed to be disappointed in his friend, which further confused you all. You looked at Remus, who also glanced at you, but both of you seemed to be clueless about what he was talking about.  

"Who is suffering because of me?" Remus asked, trying to understand his friend.

"You really are dumb, mate," Sirius retorted. "You’re cuddling your little girlfriend, while Y/n is suffering because of your ignorant behaviour," Sirius gestured towards you, causing your eyes to widen in surprise. “You should feel ashamed. How oblivious can you be? How long are you going to keep hurting her?” you were lost by his words. You had no idea what was going on and by the look on Remus' face, he was as confused as you.

"Wait, me? Am I suffering?" you interrupted your fuming friend.

"Don’t act like you know nothing. I understand you didn’t want to tell him about your feelings, but I can’t watch you being hurt over and over again, whilst he is cuddling with his new girlfriend,” he replied as if he knew your feelings more than you did yourself.

"Oh..." your eyes grew wider at the realisation, before you turned to Remus, whose facial expression changed and soon started laughing at the scenario. You didn’t mean to join him, but in the end, you couldn’t stop giggling about Sirius' absurd thoughts, leaving the boy with a dumbfounded expression.

As soon as the laughter died down, Remus stood up, gently pulling Jane into a standing position beside him and turned to you with a determined expression. "I think now it's your turn to clear things up," Remus offered you an apologetic smile and left you behind with a frowning Sirius.

You silently sat beside each other for a good few minutes, before you gathered the courage to finally open your mouth and talk. "Why would you think that I like Remus? How did you end up with such an absurd idea?" you asked as you turned your whole body towards him, playing with the grass under you, fearing to establish eye contact.

"Well, you seemed different around him," he answered, but you could still hear in the tone of his voice that he didn't understand what was going on.

“What do you mean?” you tilted your head in confusion.

“When we were talking about Moony and Jane in the common room and he talked about his crush on Jane, you seemed so upset,” he attempted to explain.

“You are going to have to be more specific. It was a quite common occurrence that we talked about Remus and Jane in the common room,” you raised a questioning brow.

“When you gave him the letter,” he added.

“Oh,” you paused for a second to recall what he could have misunderstood, when it finally all clicked in. “Wait, is about me getting upset, when he said he didn’t deserve to be loved?” you asked with wide eyes as if everything finally made sense.

“Exactly. I saw how upset you were and that’s why I asked why you decided to give him the letter,” he explained. As if the weight fell off your shoulder, a wide grin appeared across your face as you massaged your temple.

“Sirius, you can be really daft sometimes,” you chuckled. “I don’t like Remus like that. He is like a brother to me. I was upset, because every time he talks about himself, he doesn’t seem to see his good qualities, only his flaws, his problems. It upset me,” you shook your head and offered a tender smile to Sirius as you leaned closer and pulled him into a hug. “You owe him an apology,” you chuckled as he scrunched up his nose. “Thank you for worrying about me, Sirius, but it’s honestly not what you thought,” you added, pulling away.

"So, then you don't like him?" he asked, waiting for further reassurance.

"No, I like someone else," you answered emotionless, waiting for his reaction.

"Oh-" he breathed with a heavy tone.

"You seem disappointed. Should I like Remus?" you teased with an innocent look.

"No!" he replied way too quickly. As you connected the dots and realised Sirius might just feel something for you, you decided to push his buttons.

"Do you maybe want to know who I like?" you asked with a fake curiosity, playing your part. He didn't know how to reply and for the first time you saw him searching for words. He wanted you to be happy, to be loved, to be treated like the most precious person, but he didn't want to see, didn't want to hear about you getting close to someone else beside him.

"Erm-“ he was not the cocky Sirius anymore. He wasn't as confident as he usually acted and Godric knows how much you enjoyed the situation.

"Maybe I should ask him out," you said more to yourself and stood up, wearing a determined expression. Before you could have even taken a step, Sirius jumped up from his place and got hold of your wrist, pulling you flush against his chest. His sudden attack surprised you, but you certainly didn’t complain. You enjoyed being close to him and you were somewhat glad to be in such proximity with him.

"No," he whispered, looking at your face, his breath fanning your lips, slightly tickling you. “I don’t want to see you with anyone else, but me,” he confessed, but from the blank expression across his face, you weren’t sure if he realised his own words. The only thing he seemed to be concentrating on were your lips and you certainly found his just as intriguing.

"Are you sure you don't want me to ask him out?" you smiled softly, your voice hitching as he pulled you impossibly close to him, his lips almost touching yours.

"No- Wasn't I clear enough?" he asked, seemingly defeated.

"I think you would be really happy if I asked him out," you added, crossing your arms behind his neck, completely confusing him with your actions as a deep frown grew across his brows. You silently giggled at his expression, before you gave him the last push. "Would you like to go out with me, Sirius?" you asked, placing a small peck on his lips, but he didn't react, his initial shock leaving him frozen. His eyes were wide open, his jaw hung low, his lips parted in disbelief. "Should I perhaps take that as a no?" you raised a questioning brow as you ran your fingers through his soft hair.

"You’re such a tease," he exhaled finally as a small smirk spread across his handsome and relieved face. His eyes wandered down to your lips, gazing at your mouth for an impossibly long time, before attaching his lips to yours while running his hands along the small of your back, pulling you closer. You chuckled into the kiss welcoming his usual confidence back, missing his cockiness. However, before you could have even given yourself into the kiss, Sirius pulled away and with a swift movement grabbed you under your butt and threw you over his shoulder, making you squeal.

"Hey, put me down, it's not fair," you started hitting his back, but he didn't budge.

"Your little game wasn't either," he grinned, slapping your butt as he walked towards the castle with your swearing form hanging over his shoulder. "By the way, yes I would love to go out with you," he added, making you grin at his reply. Although you were cursing him, hitting him, kicking him wherever you could and as much as you could, you were still the happiest person and even the fact that you were hanging upside down couldn’t ruin it.

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[startanewdream]

Sneak in

“Potter! Weasley! What are you doing?”

It was Professor McGonagall, and her mouth was the thinnest of thin lines.

“We were — we were —” Ron stammered. “We were going to — to go and see —”

“Hermione,” said Harry.

Ron and Professor McGonagall both looked at him.

“We haven’t seen her for ages, Professor,” Harry went on hurriedly, treading on Ron’s foot, “and we thought we’d sneak into the hospital wing, you know, and tell her the Mandrakes are nearly ready and, er, not to worry —”

(Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

Just a small missing moment of something that Minerva McGonagall may have remembered in this scene. 

____________________________

It’s just past ten and Minerva is returning to her office, after meeting with Albus, when she sees the two boys walking in the shadows of the corridor leading to the Hospital Wing. She doesn’t need to get closer to know who they are – if there is trouble, those First Years are right in the middle of it.

“Potter! Black! What are you doing?”

They turn around, their guilty expressions evident in the moonlight that comes from the windows of the hall, before one of them grins.

“Night, Professor”, James Potter greets warmly. “Fancy seeing you here”.

She doesn’t fall for his easy charm.

“I would say the same, but it’s already past curfew, Mr. Potter”.

“And you are out of bed, Professor?”, Sirius Black notes, his voice dripping with fake indignation. “That’s a bad example for your students”.

Minerva fights a will to laugh.

“Unlike you, Mr. Black, I have permission for it”, she says instead, thinking of how since term began, she has already seen them on ten detentions at least. They enjoy too much playing pranks on others – and they seem to have a knack for being discovered, almost as if they are doing it on purpose just for the reputation.

“But on emergencies the law can be ignored, Professor. Isn’t that right?’, James asks innocently, though Minerva doubts there is any innocent bone on his body.

“It would be, but neither of you seems to be on an emergency”.

“No, fortunately, we found ourselves mostly healthy”, James notes brightly, then he frowns. “But our friend isn’t”.

“Friend?”

“It’s Remus, Professor”, Sirius says hurriedly. “We came back from dinner to find out he is sick, and since he was sick last month too, we were worried”.

“We were trying to visit him in the Hospital Wing”, James adds, now more serious. “Just to show support, let him know we are there if he needs anything”.

Now Minerva fights not to show any emotion at all. She knows exactly what affliction Remus Lupin is suffering and she knows they won’t find him in the Hospital Wing at this hour; the boy must already have gone to the Shrieking Shack.

She watches them both for any sign of mistrust, but Potter and Black must still be in the dark about Lupin’s real condition. That is not a secret she wants to share; she wasn’t sure about him, truth be told, but all she has seen of that First-Year boy is a kind hard-working boy, that, as Albus had put it, deserved a chance to study as much as anyone else.

He had been shy in the beginning, unsure of making friends, and Minerva had feared he would be isolated once she saw how Potter and Black had quickly formed a pair, both seeming to be best friends even after only one week of classes.

But then Potter and Black had started talking to him and she had seen how, despite his reservations, Lupin had opened himself to them, had accepted their friendship and had even coached them to also befriend little Peter Pettigrew.

Those four First-Year Gryffindors were now thick as thieves, always involved in some small prank or confusion, but always together too. She has already seen them getting into fights when someone tries to mess with one of them, careful to protect one another.

She is not surprised Black and Potter are concerned with their friend; they have their faults, but lack of loyalty to their little group is not one of them.

Minerva sighs, her expression softening.

“Mr. Lupin is fine”, she assures them, even though she knows she is lying. “I’ve seen him before, he is resting now, as should you”.

“Can’t we just –“

“No, you can see him tomorrow, Mr. Potter”, she tells them. “Now go to your Common Room, no detours”.

They exchange a look.

“No detention?”, James asks, sounding surprised.

“No missing points?”

“No telling us we are embarrassing Gryffindor?”

“That was Evans, James, not Professor McGonagall”.

“Oh, true”, James notes, flushing slightly. “But I think she scares me as much as –“

“Potter, Black”, Minerva interrupts him, again forcing herself not to smile. “Just go, it’s late. I don’t want to see you again out of the Common Room after curfew”.

“Don’t worry, Professor”, James says, grinning. “You won’t see us”.

He winks at her, and before Minerva can answer his cheekiness, he and Sirius turn in the next corridor.

“I really should use my Cloak more”, she hears James saying, his voice vanishing in the corridor.

________________________

Minerva shouldn’t be surprised.

She saw how close Harry, Ron and Hermione were ever since Halloween one year ago, how after that weird incident with the troll they had become friends and they were together in everything – even in that little adventure of Harry with Quirrell, all three of them facing the challenges that were well above them. She knows how Ron sacrificed himself so they could go on and she knows how Hermione only returned when only one could go forward.

And she noted how Harry and Ron seemed unbalanced ever since Hermione Granger was petrified, how it is obvious that their little group is for three members, not two, and how worried they are.

Sometimes she wonders if there is something in the Potter blood that inspires and demands loyalty.

She remembers how James and Peter and Sirius (before he… before) had woken up early in the mornings in search of Remus on the days he was away, how they were worried both before they knew his secret and afterwards when it was obvious they would come after a full moon looking for him.

And even if it was one of the others – the time Pettigrew was pushed in the stairs and had a concussion, or when Black had gotten the worst in a fight with another student, or when James had taken a bludger to his head – they would stay up all night in the Hospital Wing if she would let them; she didn’t, so they resumed to being there as soon as the Hospital Wing was open to visitation.

“We don’t want him to feel alone”, James had said one day, very early in the morning, when she had found them almost sleeping in front of the door to the Hospital Wing, waiting for it to open so they could check on Remus.

She’d thought of saying that Lupin was sleeping now, too tired after his transformation and clearly not caring or knowing if he was alone or not, but she hadn’t said anything.

She couldn’t fault them for wanting to be there for their friend.

Just as she can’t fault Harry and Ron for wanting to see their petrified friend. Especially Harry. He reminds her of James in many ways, like when he is flying or disregarding rules, but mostly when he is fiercely loyal and protector of his best friends.

The only thing Minerva wishes is that Harry’s friendships end up better than that of his father (it’s been years and she still can’t understand what happened to end with rebellious Sirius – the boy who worked so hard to show he was different from his family – in Azkaban, little Peter – who was always running to be in the same league as his friends - exploding and brave reckless loyal James betrayed and dead).

“Of course”, she says, forcing back her tears. “Of course, I realize this has all been hardest on the friends of those who have been… I quite understand. Yes, Potter, of course you may visit Miss Granger. I will inform Professor Binns where you’ve gone. Tell Madam Pomfrey I have given my permission”.

[blue-writes-things]

A Moment Alone

Remus Lupin x Reader | FLuff

“I wish we had more times like this, Where it’s just us and the boys aren’t blowing something up when it’s just peace.” | Masterlist | Words: 1299 A/N: Blue moon archives (Edited)

Feedback is always appreciated! - Blue

You and Remus were sitting at the black lake dipping your feet in the water to help cool yourselves from the summer heat. You had your fingers interlaced and his head is resting on your shoulder.

You two had been dating for almost three months now. But you haven't told anyone, not even your twin brother James knew. Lily had her suspicions, but she also thought James and Sirius were dating for a while, so no one really took her predictions into account anymore.

You and Remus had decided not to tell the others (at least not yet) as you thought James would turn to hate you both or make you two break up. He was very protective of you (even though you were older than him) and Remus is one of James's closest friends.

So you guys just spent time together when you could, everyone saw you guys as best friends, which you are, but you two saw each other as more.

The pair of you were taking it slow, for several reasons. The main being because Remus has his self-hatred thoughts like you deserved more, that he's not enough, that you shouldn't be dating a monster.

You would shut those thoughts down instantly, you made him feel loved, and he was so thankful for that, thankful that you saw the good in him, you’ve helped him out of his shell. And he does the same for you, helping you with your insecurities and problems. You can't ask for a better best friend, let alone a boyfriend. 

The other reason was, your friends are the marauders. It's hard to have alone time together. So you both treasure these moments. When it's the weekend and most students are at Hogsmeade, including James, Sirius and Peter.

“I wish we had more times like this” You broke the silence “Where it’s just us and the boys aren’t blowing something up when it’s just peace.”

Remus hums moving off your shoulder

“Even though I bloody hate the heat” you smile at him

He smiled back “If I’m honest, sometimes I just want time away from them in general. Don’t think the heats helping that, we need a more...effective...way to cool down.” You grin at him.

“Likeee, this?” you kick your feet flicking water at him

“Oi!” he puts he kicks some back

“Remus!” you squeak

“Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.” He smirks at you. You knew that smirk, he’s plotting something and it can’t be good

“Oh is that how it’s gonna be?” You reach into the water and splash some at him getting it all over his shirt, and a bit on his face and hair

“Oh, you’re so gonna get it!” 

He gets up and you instantly know what he’s going to try and do

“Remus John Lupin don’t even think about it!” You playfully glare at him getting up and walking backwards away from the water

“Too late!” 

He runs after you as you go further up the grassy hill, abandoning your shoes and bookbags. But he’s quite a bit faster and stronger than you so catches up quick and scoops you up into his arms

“Remus!” You laugh struggling in his grip as he carries you over to the lake

“Re! Please no don- “ before you can finish he’s thrown you into the cold water and you scream laugh before you hit the water.

As you come back up, he’s standing at the lake's edge dubbed over laughing, now it’s your turn to smirk when you get an idea.

Diving down you swim back to the bank, you look up giving him your best pouty face “You're so mean.”

“You started it, love.”

“Whatever, can you get me out?” rolling your eyes, you lift a hand from the water out to him smiling

He looks up at the sky pretending to ponder the predicament of pulling you from the pond

“Please.” you let out in a very fake small voice

“Fine! Just cause it’s you.”

He reaches his hand down to you, you grab it with both of yours and with all your strength you pull him into the water, he splashes in with a “Merlin!”

He comes up from the water shaking the water from his hair like a wet dog (your glad he doesn’t smell like one though)

“Ok, that was smart.” he grins at you as you make your way over to him.

He holds his hand out to you, taking it he pulls you to him, effectively trapping you to his chest, not that you're complaining. You have your hands resting on his chest, feeling his soft and steady heartbeat made you smile, knowing that he wasn’t stressed or anxious was such a lovely feeling.

The warmth of his embrace mixed with the coolness of the water was practically heavenly. You lean your head just below the crook of his neck and he rests his on the crown of your head. If sitting at the edge of the water was peaceful, this could be close to serenity.

Pulling back a little just to look at his face, you give him a soft smile, as he returns it he flicks his eyes from yours to your lips, and back. Seeing him do that brought heat to the apples of your cheeks. It was like you read eachothers minds as you run your hands from his chest to the back of his neck, you both lean in eyes gently closing.

CRASH

“Moony! Y/n/! C’me!” James practically screams in your general direction. You sigh putting your head down onto his chest

“Do you think if we ignore them, they’ll go away?” Remus jokes, with a slight bit of hope they actually would.

“No, cause if we do they’ll just come to us. And I’d prefer to not get drowned by James” You roll your eyes “Let’s go” You give him a soft smile.

“Race you back!” He calls diving under the water before you finish processing what he said

“Moony get back here!” You laugh going after him.

He got back first, unsurprisingly, and he shakes his hair again once he climbs out of the water, flicking water onto the boys. ‘By accident’.

“Get outta’ the water li’ sis I got some news!”

“James, I’m older than you” you roll your eyes.

“Na-uh!” he calls down to you

“Oh please, even if you were older you still act like you're five.” You snap back smirking.

“Just get out of the water already!” 

You go to get yourself up, but the same thought you had a while ago popped into your head.

“Can you help me out?”

Remus holds back a laugh knowing you were gonna pull what you did to him on James

“Nice try y/n/n, I know that trick.”

“Yeah, yeah” You make your way out of the water pushing your hair from your eyes “At least I tricked the smart one in the group.”

“Wait, Moons, you fell for that? Even Wormy knows better than that!” Sirius laughs and Remus shoves him with his elbow

“Ok, what was your news?” Remus changes the subject

“Lily said yes to a date!” The whole group was shook (even James)

“A real date or one where you force her to spend time with you?” you question

“Yes, a real date! Pads was there and can vouch for me”

“I’m so proud of you little bro!”

You go over to him and hug him from behind, drenching his shirt with cold water.

“I know you meant that to bug me, but the water is nice, so thank you.” he fakes politeness as the group snickers.

“Ok guys, let’s go back to the castle so me and y/n can change."

[salazarslytherin]

player, heartbreaker (wolfstar)

requested: nope! written for @acosmis-t ’s writing challenge! send in your own request here

summary: in which sirius breaks remus’ heart- not for the first time, but definitely the last.

prompts: 6. “i love you.”, “no you don’t” 8. “how was i such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?” 13. “maybe they were right. you never did change.”

cw/tw: angst, cheating, just tears, and a whole lot of em

word count: 2.4k

🃛 masterlist!

a/n: if you enjoyed this oneshot please consider reblogging and/or dropping me a follow! it’ll help me out a lot :)

I love you.

Those three words meant so much to Remus. Shunned by so many throughout his life, coming to Hogwarts and feeling the warm embrace of friendship and the overwhelming amounts of love that came with it made him lightheaded, feeling as if he were floating on air.

Those three words had made Remus excuse so much. Times he’d gotten in trouble with McGonagall because of a stupid prank Sirius had pulled and blamed on him.

“She’ll pull me out of quidditch for this! You’re the perfect student, she’ll let you off the hook! I love you Moony!”

Remus wasn’t let off the hook, but he never held it against Sirius.

Dangerous and idiotic pranks were forgiven- like the Full Moon Incident with Snape in fifth year. The Black heir had grovelled and apologised, spending many nights on his knees, begging for Remus’ forgiveness.

“Moony I’m so sorry, I was just, infuriated by the sheer audacity of Snivellus. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I love you, and I would do anything to prove to you that I can make it up to you.”

It took another full moon for Remus to forgive him, but he never forgot the heartbreak and betrayal that the incident had brought him.

Yet, he didn’t hold it against him. Because it was Sirius Black.

The first boy to show him friendship, the first boy to show him affection, the first boy to show him love.

⚔︎.

Not long after the Incident, the love between the two had blossomed- growing from a platonic, brotherly love to one that was more complicated.

One was the Prince of Gryffindor; the biggest player and heartbreaker that Hogwarts had seen in decades. Flirting and fucking girls and boys alike, Sirius Black left behind him a trail of tears and heartbreak. Yet he was never resented for it, because that’s just who he was.

Sirius Black, the serial heartbreaker.

The other was quiet. The most unassuming member of the Marauders- studious and always willing to help others regardless of house and year. A Werewolf littered with scars, but the gentlest person you could ever meet. Remus Lupin was the kindest soul you could find, but vicious when you needed him to be. Although quiet, he was charming and outgoing, the kind of person you could have a beer with, but also come to for your troubles.

Remus Lupin, the kindest boy at Hogwarts.

The two were best friends, but perhaps there was always a little bit more.

Sirius was openly bisexual, flamboyant and flaunting of his sexuality, he flirted with anyone and everyone.

Rumour has it he tried to flirt Filch out of detention once.

Remus was gay, but only told others when asked. He didn’t think his sexuality was anyone’s business, perhaps except his and his partner’s only.

As a result of these two polar opposites that were too similar for their own good, there was always an underlying sense of attraction. Remus would watch Sirius from behind a book, smiling at his jokes, laughing at his antics.

Sirius always admired Remus’ scars, equating them with bravery and beauty.

One day, the attraction had just clicked, and the words “I love you Moony” became “I’m in love with you, Moony.”

The stolen glances turned into shared, lingering looks in classes after a make-out session in an alcove- Remus turning red when he realised he was wearing Sirius’ shirt instead of his own, one that was just a tad bit too small for the Werewolf, then vermillion when someone pointed out a hickey Sirius had left on his neck.

Nights were no longer lonely– neither of the two was plagued with nightmares anymore as, much like the year before, many nights were spent with Sirius on his knees- albeit under very, very different circumstances.

⚔︎.

Not long after they had gotten together, Gryffindor won yet another quidditch match against Slytherin, and a Marauders party had exploded in the Common Room. Students from every house, save for Slytherin, partied the night away with bottles of firewhiskey and cake from the house elves, which ended up more on people’s faces than in their mouths.

Remus, not one to “party hard” like Sirius or James, found himself sitting on the window seat, chatting with passersby, sipping on a cup of firewhiskey while watching his friends on the dance floor.

“Hey there Lupin. Not out there with the rest of your marauders?”

Lily sat herself down next to Remus, clutching her own firewhiskey as she watched her boyfriend dance with Remus’, Peter bouncing awkwardly between the two.

“Not really feeling up for it. Why aren’t you out there yourself? Thought you’d be out dancing with James, you two seem awfully close these days.”

A blush graced Lily’s face, coughing slightly to cover her embarrassment as she turned to face her fellow prefect.

“Well, you and Black seem awfully close yourselves. Are you actually dating him?”

From anyone else, Remus would’ve thought the question rude and blunt, intrusive, even. But over the years, he began counting Lily Evans a friend almost as close as the Marauders, so he shrugged, and let it slide.

“Maybe. What’s it to you?”

The redhead shrugged, looking out onto the dance floor where a Ravenclaw had grabbed onto Sirius, grinding onto his front as the Gryffindor seemed to welcome him, holding his hips close to his own, the pair lost in the music.

“I just worry about you, Remus. I know you two are best friends, and you should always trust the people you’re with, but, we all know what Black’s like. I don’t want to see you become one of the ones he leaves behind.”

Remus clenched his jaw at the sight of Nathan Sulzer grinding on his boyfriend, his heart clenching slightly as Sirius did nothing to stop him.

“I’ll be fine Lily.”

James wandered towards the two of them, pressing a kiss to Lily’s lips as he shoved Remus lightly on the shoulder.

“Alright, Moony?”

Remus felt his heart break slightly as Nathan peppered kisses on Sirius’ neck, the same spots he had kissed that very morning before the quidditch match. James followed the werewolf’s gaze as he failed to reply, his own fist clenching in response.

“Merlin Moony, I’m so sorry. I swear I thought he would’ve changed for you. I love that man but I swear he can be so thick somedays.”

Remus shook his head, feeling tears well up that he willed away, putting down the cup and pushing himself off the seat.

“It’s fine. I’m going to head upstairs first. G’night you two.”

“I love you Moony.”

“Love you too Prongs. Night Lil.”

⚔︎.

That was not the night Sirius Black broke Remus Lupin’s heart for the last time. Later that night, the beater had come up, small hickeys staining his neck and collar overturned as he begged Remus for his forgiveness.

“I was so drunk baby I didn’t even realise what he was doing. Just celebrating, I didn’t even know who I was dancing with! I love you so much Re I’m so sorry. It will never happen again.”

Remus forgave him. He always did.

After all, this was Sirius Black he was faced with.

And if we know anything, it’s that Remus Lupin always forgave Sirius Black.

Later that week, when Nathan Sulzer came to Remus to ask for help with a transfiguration essay, he merely turned and walked away, causing Nathan to wonder what he’d done to earn the ire of the kindest boy in Hogwarts.

⚔︎.

It was the last day of exams in sixth year. Remus and Peter, being the only ones in the Marauders to take NEWT level Ancient Runes, were the last to finish their exams. Excitedly discussing what was to come in the summer as well as the final weeks of school, the two made their way back to Gryffindor tower.

“So what are you doing over the summer Wormy? Have your parents settled on a vacation spot yet, or are you going to finally stay around for once?”

Peter smiled softly, shrugging as he clutched his books to his chest.

“I’m not really sure, but I think we should be around for the last few weeks. You’re staying with Prongs and Padfoot for a while, right? I think I’ll probably be able to join you if you’re still there by the time I get-”

The pair’s conversation was cut short as they ascended the stairs to their dorm, hearing a piercing feminine moan coming from their room.

“Merlin, never pegged Lily for the vocal type.”

Peter frowned, uncomfortable.

“Clearly you’ve not been around the Potter household when she stays with Prongs during Christmas. ”

Shuddering, their soft laughter was cut short as footsteps thundered up the stairs behind them, muscular arms landing on the two Marauders’ shoulders.

“Alright, lads! Finally finished with your exams?”

James Fleamont Potter stood behind his two fellow Marauders in all his glory, making the boys freeze in their actions.

“I- you-”

Remus’ mind was moving a mile a minute, the reality clocking in but he refused to admit it. This had to be some sort of a sick prank.

“If you’re out here, then who’s that in there having sex with Lily?!”

Peter pointed at the door, the confusion and adrenaline running through the three boys making them miss the soft moan of ‘Sirius’ coming from behind the doors.

“What?! Nobody better be having sex with my Lily!”

The heavy wooden doors flew open as James kicked it with all his might, revealing Emmeline Vance naked and on top of the one and only, Sirius Black.

“Padfoot?!” emerged out of Peter’s mouth at the same time as the words “That’s not Lily!” came from James’, before reality dawned upon the two, turning to face the werewolf.

“Get out.”

“Moony I-”

For the first time in a long time, Remus felt a fire rise in his stomach, his temper snapping as he threw his books on the ground.

“All of you, get out!”

The werewolf’s head snapped up at the naked boy on the bed, who was stealing fearful glances at the girl quickly redressing next to him.

“Except you, Black.”

⚔︎.

Sirius had awkwardly finished putting on his clothes as Remus stood beside his own bed, feeling nothing, his previous anger had sizzled out and left him hollow.

“Moony I-”

“I don’t want to hear you speak. I don’t, I just,”

A memory flashed by Remus’ mind, that party after Gryffindor’s first win of the year. Lily’s words echoing in his mind: we all know what Black’s like.

“Maybe they were right. You never did change.”

A cold laugh emerged from the prefect’s lips, looking up at the ceiling he’d become so familiar with over the past year. The one he’d studied night after night with Sirius in his arms, the one he’d memorised when he wondered whether he did anything wrong when Sirius apologised to him for this thing or that, breaking his heart bit by bit, day by day.

“How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, of all people, could ever love me? Sirius Black, prince of Gryffindor. The biggest player Hogwarts has ever seen, the biggest heartbreaker there’s ever been!”

Remus continued laughing his emotionless laugh, one that made Sirius wince and shudder. It was so unlike him, so hollow, so cruel.

Nothing like his Remus.

“Of course I love you Moony. I love you.”

Sirius made his way over to Remus, his calloused hands reaching out towards Remus’ scarred ones.

“No you don’t.”

Remus’ hand was enveloped for a mere second, the familiar warmth begging him to stay before his sinking heart reminded him of the hurt he was pushed under by those same hands, and ripped himself away.

“If you loved me, you would never have done this. If you loved me, you’d never have made me doubt whether you really wanted to be with me. If you’d loved me,”

Remus looked at Sirius for the first time since James and Peter left the room. As their eyes met, Remus felt the tears welling in the grey eyes he loved so dearly pulling at his heartstrings, clenching his jaw before continuing, willing his own tears not to fall.

“We wouldn’t be here. I was in love with you, but you were in love with the idea of me. The chase, the excitement of a relationship you couldn’t flaunt all across the halls.”

Muted ‘no’s and soundless protests were made as Sirius fell to his knees in front of Remus for the umpteenth time that year, but this time out of desperation, an attempt to salvage something that couldn’t be salvaged.

“But you got tired, and you found the excitement in sneaking around with others. Pushing the boundaries to see how far you could get without being caught.”

Tears fell freely from Sirius’ eyes now, clutching onto Remus’ trousers as he cried out.

“That’s not it. Please Re, I love you, I love you so much. You’re everything for me, my home, my only. Please don’t do this.”

Remus’ own eyes flew shut, but he continued, tears escaping as rapidly as the words did.

“And now you’ve gotten caught. I hope it was worth it, because I’m done forgiving you. I’m just so, so done. I’m tired of not being good enough for you, I’m tired of second guessing myself and wondering why you end up in other people’s arms.”

Sirius shook his head fervently, incoherent words and sobs wracked from his throat as he hugged Remus’ legs with more strength than he knew he had, shaking his head at the werewolf’s words.

“You know, I would’ve done anything for you. I forgave you each and every time you crawled back to me. No matter how many times you broke my heart, I turned to putty in your hands every time you told me ‘I love you’.”

Remus’ hands landed on the boy’s shoulders for the last time, a motion so familiar, yet so foreign at the same time, pulling him away. He took Sirius’ chin into his hand, tilting his head up to meet his tearfully hopeful eyes.

“I love you Remus.”

Desperation dripped from the animagus' voice, his eyes searching Remus' face for one last bit of mercy, one last "I love you".

“I love you Sirius. But I don’t want to love you any longer.”

[jamesandthedog]

“Imagine if we dated.” for wolfstar, please?

Sorry this took a while to write! @ashslytherin​ asked for a mixer of your prompt + number 16 so that’s what I did(: The prompts are 11. “Imagine if we dated.” & 16. “Not letting me do it only makes me want It more.”

Check out the prompt list

Imagine if we dated

“Imagine if we dated,” Sirius said suddenly.

Remus, with the day’s Daily Prophet in one hand, a toast in another and an utterly confused look on his face, turned to look at him. Once he realised Sirius wasn’t joking, he let go of the paper and finished chewing the piece of toast in his mouth.

Sirius didn’t know the very thing he had jokingly suggested was something Remus had thought about for the past year or so. Actually, he mostly thought about moving his fingers along Sirius’ pale skin, mapping his tattoos, touching his collarbones. Getting to smell his scent without being embarrassed for liking it when Sirius leaned his shoulder against Remus’ on the couch of the common room. Reminiscing that one smile Sirius sometimes sent his way, the one that almost felt like it was meant just for him. Then there were the more inappropriate thoughts too, the ones Remus tried not to think about on the nights Sirius spend in his bed after having nightmares because they made it embarrassingly difficult to hold Sirius so close.

“No.”

“Why not?”

Remus hoped Sirius couldn’t notice the way his heart seemed to pound in his chest, fast, like it wanted to break out of him.

“Uh…Padfoot, this might shock you but, you’re not gay.”

“But if I were?”

Now Remus’ heart definitely skipped a beat. “…But you aren’t.”

“I could be if it would stop Denbright from trying to feed love potions to me.”

Oh, that made sense, much more sense that Sirius actually doubting his sexuality.

“So let me be clear here,” Remus summed. “You want to date me to avoid horny girls?”

“Maybe.”

“Right…” Remus said. “Go fetch James and Peter from the pitch.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re clearly bored and I haven’t had enough coffee to deal with it.”

Sirius took his wand and with a swift movement, he levitated the coffee pot towards Remus’ empty mug pouring him a fresh cup of coffee.

“Better?” He asked with a tone that made Remus give hin an incredulous look.

“You’re not going to drop the subject, are you?”

Sirius didn’t answer, he just got up, took the rest of Remus’ toast, and patted the sandy haired boy on the head as he exited the Great Hall.

* * * * *

“Are you trying to avoid me, Lupin?”

Remus looked up from his potions book to see Sirius taking the seat next to him. Peter who usually sat on the very spot, shrugged at Remus as he went to sit next to James.

Sirius had his long hair on a bun, with few curls framing his face and Remus found himself noticing his collarbone peeking out of his loosely buttoned shirt. His tie was hanging undone around his neck but that was nothing surprising, it was the last class of the day and Sirius’ uniform always seemed to come undone as the way went on. It was like a clock for Remus.

“Yes, but rather unsuccessfully considering you’ve managed to either sit or pair up with me on all of our classes so far,” he said.

“That’s what boyfriends do, don’t they?” Sirius grinned at him.

Remus rolled his eyes and with a flick of a wand, buttoned Sirius’ shirt. Sirius sneered at it, but let the shirt be.

“This, dear Padfoot, is why I’m trying to avoid you.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

Remus looked at him suspiciously, but when Sirius just smiled, he turned back to his potions book.

Half a minute later Remus felt the weight on his shoulders as Sirius wrapped one arm around him. Remus sighed. He bit his lip, then took Sirius’ hand  returning it back on Sirius’ own lap as he wondered what he had done to deserve the torture Sirius was obviously putting him through on this otherwise fine Thursday.

“We’re not dating,” Remus said firmly as he let go of Sirius’ hand.He wasn’t sure if he said it more to assert himself or Sirius.

“Not letting me do it only makes me want It more.”

Remus shook his head, closed his book and punched Sirius gently in the head with it before turning to listen at the professor.

* * * * *

It was nearly impossible to focus on brewed glory as they were supposed to with Sirius and his once again unbuttoned shirt around. It wasn’t that Sirius did anything specific to bother Remus, but his collarbones very seriously distractive and he had rolled his sleeves and Remus hard time not staring at the well-defined muscles as he chopped dried fluxweed.

“It wouldn’t really harm you, would it?”

Remus blinked from behind the cauldron. “Huh?”

“Dating me”, Sirius explained as he remeasured the fluxweed. “Unless you’re already dating, which you aren’t. People might notice, you know, notice and want to date you.”

Remus blinked again, before giving it a weak laugh. “You might be overestimating my market value.”

“I’m not. You’re tall. People love your freckles. You got character, you got-“

“Scars-”

“That make you mysterious,” Sirius insisted and raised an eyebrow at him. “Like, where does the one on you hip end? It’s sexy.”

Looking in Sirius’ stormy grey eyes was definitely a mistake, Remus thought as he felt shivers all over his body. The thought of Sirius thinking about the scar on his hip was something Remus would have classified as a thought inappropriate for public places, definitely inappropriate for a class full of people.

Remus cleared his throat.

“Freckles?” He asked.

“Freckles.”

The looked at each other for a while before Remus turned away.

“You keep talking about men like that and the Denbright’s of the world may actually start leaving you alone,” he managed to smile as he on added the chopped fluxweed into the cauldron.

He didn’t look at Sirius any longer, but he was pretty sure he heard him mutter “maybe I will” – Remus wasn’t quite sure since the words got lost somewhere between a rattle of glass and a list of curse words as Sirius’ elbow nudged a bottle of salamander blood on the floor spilling it all over.

* * * * *

Remus was pretty sure Sirius had broken the last bottle of the bloody salamander blood as he tried to reach at the top shelf. He was tall, but it there were any bottles left they were safely out of his reach at the back of the shelf. The door of the storeroom slammed closed leaving him with nothing but a dim candlelight, which didn’t exactly help his cause.

Remus cursed, then startled as he felt the warmth of someone cornering him from behind.

“Date me,” whispered the familiar voice.

It gave him goosebumps. Remus took a breath and turned around trying to find what his friends called his prefect voice.

“This isn’t funny, Padfoot.”

And then he was face to face with Sirius, who was standing surprisingly close to him with one hand leaning on the shelf.

He looked so casual, as if he belonged there. Remus leaned his back against the shelves and wondered if this was what how the girls felt when they got together with Sirius in one of the castle’s broom closets. The difference being he got to look down at Sirius, and unlike with the girls, Sirius was messing with him.

“Fine, I’m getting bored of this too,” Sirius said.

He didn’t have the joking tone in his voice anymore. Remus squinted his eyes; quitting wasn’t something Sirius did.

“I’ll stop on one condition.”

There it was again, the Sirius Remus knew.

“Which is?” He asked.

The darkhaired boy was quiet for a bit, thinking, biting his lip. It wasn’t something Sirius did often, usually he was fire and speed and rash decisions. The sudden change in his behaviour made Remus nervous, because he was usually rather good at reading Sirius’ many moods. He was familiar with broody, quiet Sirius but this was, this was something different.

“You answer a question.”

“…Which is?” Remus repeated.

Sirius glanced at the floor and sighed before locking his eyes with Remus’. Remus wasn’t sure if Sirius had leaned in closer, or if he just thought he had. It felt like Remus could feel his breath and warmth on his skin. He could smell his shampoo. His cigarettes. And then just something that Remus just called smelling like Sirius. It was good, all of it, even the bloody cigarettes.

“I was hoping I wouldn’t have to ask.”

Sirius rarely looked people in the eye like that, intensively, confidently, honestly. It made Remus feel like he was all Sirius focused on,  a centre of gravity – or maybe it was just him hoping.

Remus swallowed, staring back at the grey eyes, and listening himself breathing too heavily. But Sirius was breathing heavily too, and that’s when Remus got it. The confidence was a mask. Because of course Sirius bloody Black could act even more confident than normal when he was the pure opposite of confidence. Remus had seen him do it before, if happened mostly when they were around Slytherins, especially around the people who knew Sirius before school.

Sirius has trying to hide it, but he was nervous. They both were.

“That makes it a hard one to answer,” Remus whispered.

“Does it, thought?” Sirius raised an eyebrow.

Neither or them spoke. Remus hesitated, then brought one hand on Sirius’ neck. Sirius arched his neck to press onto it like a cat being petted.

He liked it.

“I, er…” Remus started, not quite sure how to deal with what he thought might be going on. “I think I need you to ask.”

Silence. Hazel eyes looking in the stormy grey ones that looked right back.

“Would you date me if I wasn’t straight?”

It was honest, not the type of joking Sirius had done all day.

Remus let out the breath he’d been holding. His fingers found Sirius’ neck hair as he studied the look on his face. He didn’t quite know how he was still standing there when his whole world seemed to be flipping upside down and he had a whole army of doxies flying around his stomach and – and he had Sirius in front of him and Remus was pretty sure he may have actually, for real, confessed liking guys, liking… Remus.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?” Sirius leaned his hips against Remus’.

“Yeah, I would,” Remus said.

Then he smiled wrapping one arm around Sirius’ waist as Sirius’ hands found his neck Remus’ neck pulling him so close their lips nearly touched.

“Moony?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m… I’m definitely not straight.”

It made Remus beam like a child who’d been let free in a chocolate shop, he couldn’t help it. It would’ve felt embarrassing, except Sirius smiled at him too.

“I suppose I have to let you know,” Remus said once he found his voice again. “If we were to date… I’d still have ask my boyfriend who the fuck is stirring our potion while we kiss.”

Sirius burst into laughter.

“You don’t want to know” he said and pressed his lips on Remus’.

[spiltscribbles]

Prompt #37 for you, dear: Things you said with the tv on mute 😌📺🤫

Notes: Okay angel, you have an official IOU from me for a one shot that’s total fluff!!! I love you!!!! Thank you to the gorgeous bitch that is Bethany for making this better than it ever could’ve been <3 <3 

A Reblog is worth a thousand Stars

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Things you said with the TV was muted  |  Send Me A Prompt

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Sirius’s never been much for silence. He was brought up in the heart of London in a household always filled to the brim with guests that his parents deemed worthy enough to intermingle with the ever so illustrious Black name, and then in Hogwarts there was always the chatter of other students or the mysterious sounds ringing from the forbidden forest. Sirius’s always needed that extra layer, that muffled background noise to help ground himself, to help not get lost in his own thoughts of inadequacy or regrets over his vast array of stupid decisions that he’d make in a thoughtless spur of passion. 

If he’s really forced to think about it, the only time Sirius’s ever been comfortable blanketed in quiet was during the few times he spent his school hols in the Welsh countryside. But Sirius tries not to, think about that he means. Because then he’s back in bed, curved against Remus, one of his arms stuck underneath him while the other traced elaborate designs against his sun dappled skin. And it’s hard to reminisce on those sorts of memories, the ones that remind him about burnt toast mornings in their Camden flat and the taste of blackberries on Remus’s lips and the way they had always found solace in folding into one another after a long day out on patrols or raids of a Death Eater hideout. Well, found solace until they had suddenly, abruptly not. Before Remus had begun spending his full moons away, out on covert missions given by Dumbledore and never repeated about to Sirius. Before a thick, uncomfortable tension had clogged between them on the breakfast table that they used to stretch across to interlace their hands with one another’s. Before secrets infested every nook and crevice of their relationship, burrowing through it like deadly, invasive pests— rotting away at the one thing Sirius held with reverence and an aching sort of love that he’s only ever felt towards Remus. 

The night Remus left was only surprising in how long it took their bending to turn to a break that couldn’t stitch back up with heady kisses, and ardent declarations and tender caresses that always were that bit lighter for how afraid they’ve always been to hurt the other. It was early June and it was like every ounce of Sirius was being rinsed of resolve, like the moonlight itself  was bleeding out with the desperation and yearning and pain painted so evidently on each of their faces and what measured their movements when in relation with the other. It was in the midst of an argument, because of course it was— because that had become their only form of communication in those final fleeting weeks in-between the fucking and the cautious glances volleyed around like they were back in sixth year and first beginning to tend this tentative, little flame between them, a flame that became a supernova that swallowed Sirius whole without his permission. Remus had made a crack about Sirius needing to get him a leash if he was so convinced that he wasn’t being forthcoming about his whereabouts, and Sirius had snapped back saying that at this point he wished Remus was actually just sneaking around to shag Dearborn, and then Remus had just slumped over, lying against the wall as if it was the only thing keeping him up anymore.

He had circles as dark as the velvet night sky beneath his bright eyes, and he had such a rigid sort of posture once finally standing back up that it makes Sirius wince even remembering it, and just looking at him in such a state felt like the deepest betrayal. All Sirius knew, all he’s ever known and all he will know for the rest of his days is that he never wants to be the one to make Remus look that defeated or exhausted or just plain sad ever again. Remus had packed his few belongings in the old luggage he’s had since first year in a matter of minutes, and marched out the door without ever looking back, and Sirius hadn’t seen him until after the dust had finally settled in the wake of the end of the war. Remus is the one thing Sirius has always known he never deserved, and now— six weeks removed from the defeat of Voldemort by the hands of a still recuperating Dumbledore, Sirius knows that truth is as inherent as ever.

It was Lily who stayed up with Sirius on nights he couldn’t go back to bed in fear of being met with Remus in his dreams— her missing him in a different but just as painful way. It was Lily who told Sirius about the borderline sadistic recruitment efforts Dumbledore had Remus operating— making him relive his worst nightmare every full moon with the man who had turned him when he was no more than four years old. And it was Lily who called him and James a pair of “bloody prats,” because she had never doubted Remus for even a moment. So it only made sense when it was Lily who tipped her chin in that imperious way of hers two weeks before, and proclaimed that they’d be having a Christmas together as a family. Which meant that Sirius has just spent the last three— Merlin forsaken—  days awkwardly avoiding Remus in the most stilted and uncomfortable manners every time they ran into one another in the Potter cottage, and it meant that Frank, Alice and Neville took one of the guest rooms, while Sirius readily offered the only other one to Remus, and now he’s slumped downstairs, staring at the strange Muggle box that Lily had bought and what James, Sirius, and— and well the rat, had spent an entire afternoon toying around with— pure blooded to the core. Lily and Remus had only left them to it while going off for tea and scones at the cafe down the way, laughing at them all the while.

God does Sirius wish that golden splendor had never faded.

At the moment, the Muggle box is playing a barrage of clips of an incredibly pretty lady, one with dark hair and violet eyes. She looks like she could be a Black, honestly— it’s disarming. He’s sure he’s seen her before.  Sirius furrows his brows that bit more, surprised just how familiar she actually looks, and is shaken when he hears a soft, rasp of a voice— the most resplendent voice he’s ever heard— speaking from behind him. “Liz Taylor.”

Sirius turns around, frantic, as he takes in the sight of him, up close after so long, and Sirius stares, wide eyed and greedy, like he always is when around Remus. “Pardon?”

“The woman on the telly, that’s Liz Taylor. My mum was positively obsessed with her.” Remus’s arms are crossed leisurely against his chest as he lies against the doorway, clad in a white T-shirt and a pair of fading, plaid pajama bottoms. His bottom lip is worn dry and his hair is disheveled and sticking out on impossible angles, and he’s the most gorgeous thing Sirius has ever seen. Even now, even after so many months apart and even while he’s obviously lost in thought about his miraculous mother who had passed away from a Muggle disease their seventh year, taking a part of Remus’s heart right along with her. Even amidst all of it, Remus Lupin is the most startlingly beautiful thing Sirius has ever witnessed.

Sirius can’t stop his gawking, it’s like a warped image of that night over five months ago now, and it fills Sirius with a sort of dread he’s become far too accustomed with feeling when around Remus. “Oh, right,” Sirius says, more because he feels like it was his turn to say something, even if it is stuttering and dumb.

“You remember Christmas break of seventh year? When she made us watch her favorite film? That starred Liz Taylor.”

Sirius’s throat feels dry, can’t believe that Remus is speaking with him at all, wonders how he’ll actually be able to string two words together in any sort of coherency. “Yeah,” he clears his throat. “Yeah, yeah. The one about the bloke who wanted to marry her but got that other bird pregnant.”

Remus’s answering grin is small and mild and a bit threadbare, but it’s a Moony smile, so Sirius will devour the vision of it with hungry piety.

“I think the critics might have an issue with your distilling one of the greatest critiques of American capitalism into a tawdry love affair, but that’s the one,” Remus says as he picks up the clicker and mutes the box, perched on the other end of the couch’s armrest. And it’s so far removed, but the closest Remus has been able to stand being around Sirius in too long and it pumps him with a sort of staggering, hesitant hope that he has no right in indulging himself with— to feel the levitating, helium like sense of it pulsing in his chest and coursing through his veins.

“You know me Moons, just wanna get to the dirty bits.” He tries for broke and casts him a half smile, feels it like a punch in the gut when that doesn’t affect the detached way Remus stares at him from his perch. “But the bloke was fit at least— I recall saying that he looked a bit like you.” That, for some mad reason, makes Remus toss back his tawny head— silver in the moonlight— and laugh hysterically. “I’ve finally done it, made you go barmy.” Sirius marvels, goading but also partially meaning it.

“Of course you’d think Monty Cliff looks like me Sirius, he’s only the most tragic git in cinema history.”

“Since when are you the dramatic one Moons?”

Remus stills for a second— probably over the use of the familiar pet name, but he doesn’t say anything of it, just gives him a one armed, what can you do shrug. “’S true, he got in a nasty accident with Liz in the car when they were out drinking one night.”

“Oh— That’s rotten luck.” Sirius says, still feels a bit delirious with the fact that Remus is even speaking to him at all.

“Quite.”

“Did he die?”

“No, not fully. They were able to stitch back up his face, but he never actually recovered, was haunted by it really. I guess folks used to say that there was the beautiful before, and then the monstrous after, scars and all. So he spent the next decade drinking himself to death.”

Sirius’s insides go cold, flashes of Remus’s own habits bubbling to the forefront of his mind, but he sweeps it away and only nods, thinks he understands the shifty way Remus is behaving now, considering the obvious parallel to his own accident as a lad and how the Wizarding world has regarded him ever since.

“That’s shit Remus.”

He hums, noncommittal as he studies a point over Sirius’s shoulder. “They still call it Hollywood’s longest suicide.”

Sirius suddenly feels sick to his stomach, knows that if this was even just half a year ago, he’d be gathering Remus in his arms now and kissing away the lines melting into his face, and telling him in a gargled repetition that he loves him and he loves him and he’s always loved him. He’d tell Remus how damn beautiful he is and how bright and brilliant and remarkable of a person he is. And Sirius would fall asleep with Remus’s head resting on his chest and the blanket pooling around their hips and it would feel splendid just for that slice of eternity.

But this isn’t half a year ago. This is now, and now is composed of them broken up and awkward and left them unable to even hold each others gazes for longer than a few seconds at a time, lest the hurt becomes unbearable.

“He sounds like someone I’d get a pint with If I’m being honest.” 

That miraculously seems like the right thing to have said because Remus smiles softly as he stands up. “Sure you two would’ve had a marvelous time, his boyfriends called’m a miraculous lay.”

Sirius laughs, loud and abrupt and a bit like a bark. “Come off it.”

“Poor Liz, she was mad over the shirt lifter.” Remus pulls a face and sticks his tongue out, cheeky in a way Sirius has missed beyond words. “But never mind the history lesson, I just came down for a glass of water, don’t let me disturb your telly watching.”

“You didn’t!” Sirius says hurriedly, forcing himself not to actually leap up and corner him. “I mean—“ he coughs, tries evening out his heartbeat.  “You’re never a bother Remus, you know that. You know I’d rather talk to you than just about anything else,” the silent, save for fucking you, doesn’t have to be said, but Sirius reckons Remus caught the implication if the slight flush to his ears is anything to go by.

“Right, well I should still get back to bed. Tomorrow’s actual Christmas Eve and Lily’s practically branded the damn schedule onto my hand.” Remus turns to the kitchen, and it’s all too much like before, but Sirius won’t let him— can’t let him— go off and leave him behind. If there is one inarguable truth in Sirius’s life, it’s that he loves Remus John Lupin more than all the stars in all the damned galaxies combined, and losing faith in that has only ever caused him the worst sort of pain. So he doesn’t let him go, flings himself forwards and encircles one of Remus’s bony wrists with a loose hand, can practically hear his pulse pounding in his ears.

“Wh— Sirius—“

“Are we ever going to be alright again,” Sirius asks outright, probably the stupidest thing he’s ever done but he doesn’t care, is sick of feeling so damn lost and wrong footed and lonesome without him. 

Remus slowly pivots back around, lips set in a firm frown and brows beginning to knit. “What do you mean.”

“Don’t Remus, please, just don’t. If it’s no then please just put me out my misery. I can’t do this sodding in-between shite, this purgatory of nothing and everything. I just can’t.”

The silence that drapes over them seizes with a tension Sirius hadn’t felt since the night Remus had left, and it probably doesn’t bode well, but Sirius doesn’t care, wants an  answer damn it.

Remus only stares at him, measured and noncommittal and with an almost aloofness that Sirius had successfully penetrated by the end of their first term in Hogwarts. It’s really something awful being on the other side once more.  “You thought I was the spy.” He says in a deadpan, void of any warmth, and cleared of even the Welsh lilt to his words that always shone through when he was relaxed, and wasn’t afraid of being cast off as just some country boy.  He sounds methodical, by rote. He sounds like he doesn’t dare allow any emotions to bleed through because he’s afraid what Sirius would do with them, and that realization, above anything else, is what punches him right in the gut.

“I thought everyone was the spy,” he tells him, isn’t above from graveling at this point. “Hell I thought I was the bloody spy for a moment there! Under the imperius curse, or was obliviated or—“

“That’s different Sirius,” Remus interrupts, seething, and tearing his wrist away from Sirius’s light grasp. “Think about why you would presume me to be working for the dark side over Peter!”

Sirius flushes, is getting angry now, hating that Remus wouldn’t even hear him out. “Because you were in the top of the class, and that fucking rat barely knew how to transfigure  a throw pillow to a damn porcupine!”

Remus’s face— a face Sirius knows better than the back of his own hand— twists up in derision, lips curled and nose wrinkled and pinning Sirius with a one eyed squint. It’s completely inappropriate timing, but Sirius wishes he could show Remus just how thoroughly he pays reverence to him and that face. “Well lucky him he was born a pure blood.”

And that, that snide remark is what makes Sirius jolt back, as if he’s been slapped open handed right across the face. Like the one and only time his mother had done so when she caught him and Regulus dressing up in her heels and jewels and lipsticks when he was seven years old. This, this insinuation by Remus is just as striking and probably ten times as painful. “Don’t. Don’t bring blood politics into this Remus. You know I don’t give a buggering fuck about any of that trite.”

“Then what?” Remus almost yells now, face reddening and stepping close enough to Sirius that he has to tilt his head back just so, just enough so that they’re eyes are boring into one another properly once more. “Was it the fact I’m a fucking werewolf? Huh?” He grabs for Sirius’s front, hands knotted in the material of his shirt, and careful not to touch him. It’s a familiar action when Sirius thinks back to the final couple months of their relationship, Remus had always just grabbed onto Sirius’s clothes— wrinkling his jackets and Henleys whenever they kissed goodbye. Sirius had ultimately thought it was because of the guilt eating up inside for his turncoating ways, but now recognizes it for what it was and what it is. He sees that it’s Remus trying to grapple for something, anything. It’s Remus trying to ground himself by touch, and by Sirius, to feel still amidst all the chaos. 

Sirius puts his larger hands against Remus’s wrists once more, doesn’t let him drop his gaze. “Fuck you Remus.”

“Is that it? You got sick of fucking a halfbreed? Figured that if I was just like the lot who actually were enthralled by Grayback that it’d be fine if you could end it.”

“Shut the fuck up!“

“Just say it! Say you didn’t trust me because I’m a werewolf and you believe that propaganda that we’re some sorta inherently dark creatures. Tell me you gave up on me because of that. Just give me an answer Sirius!”

And it’s like Sirius can’t breathe, doesn’t know where to begin his rant. Whether he should shout at Remus for being a self loathing prat, or shout at Remus for thinking so low of him, or maybe shout at Remus for trying to pretend as if he wasn’t the one who gave up on them first. In the end, he does none of that. 

It’s pure instinct when Sirius plunges forwards and crashes his lips against Remus’s own, trying to infuse the love and adoration and acceptance he knows Remus has never allowed himself to truly feel, and is relieved when his lead-like insides lighten just a fraction when Remus opens his mouth and grabs for Sirius’s face, and kisses him that much deeper. His tongue plunging into Sirius’s open mouth and the familiar slide is so achingly welcome Sirius swears he could fall over in gratitude, frantically palms up and down Remus’s lightly muscled back for purchase, and ultimately just gives up and drags him to the sofa, doesn’t let their lips separate for more than a breath at a time.

“I love you, I never stopped loving you Moons,” Sirius tells him as he practically rips Remus’s shirt as he pulls it off and Remus collapses over him, now straddling Sirius’s lap and kissing a path across his jaw. “Don’t ever think otherwise.”

Remus pulls away, only for a moment, but it’s enough to see the watery gleam to his eyes and the doubt that passes across his face. Though Remus doesn’t let him look for too long, plunges back forwards to kiss him in a cacophony of lips, and teeth, and spit. His cold hands glide against Sirius’s abs beneath his own t-shirt, and Sirius is practically arching up with wanton intent. God he’s missed this, missed Remus and the way they fall against one another, and missed the way they’ve always just fit so innately.

“I—I still love you too Pads,” he says against Sirius’s neck, practically shaking but it’s enough to clear Sirius of all his worries and all his doubt. If there’s anything that couldn’t erode, its the foundation they built with one another and that’s enough, maybe that’s all they need to begin healing once more. Sirius knows that there’s countless conversations and apologies and that they’ll need to take this one step at a time, but here, now. This gives him hope that Remus is just as willing to work on it as he is, and that’s all Sirius needs to know.

He slides a hand up Remus’s thigh and dips a thumb into his waistband, asking for permission, and almost laughing at how eager Remus is to the question, eyes fluttering shut prettily as Sirius slips a hand into his front, cheeks blazing when he realizes Remus wasn’t even wearing any pants. 

“Moony,” he moans, tossing his dark head against the sofa and praying for strength from fucking Merlin himself. 

Remus actually does laugh, kisses the juncture of Sirius’s neck and shoulder before he starts rocking back and forth, against Sirius’s rapidly hardening cock, and Sirius is already so pent up and hungry for this that he knows he’s not going to last long.

“Bloody slag.”

“Pot calling the kettle black—“ Remus’s eyes go blown suddenly, absolutely going mental at the pun and Sirius can’t believe the love of his life is such a damn wanker. 

“Oy, I’ll show you what this kettle can do,” Sirius snaps, playful as he flips their positions so that Remus is lying beneath him, canting forwards when Sirius unceremoniously grabs his cock and begins a slow, and steady stroke, absolutely fucking beaming at the small, cut off gasps and muffled whimpers Remus lets out. They should probably worry over someone walking downstairs for a midnight snack or smoke or something, but Sirius can’t be fucked to care, not with the gloriously golden sight of Remus Lupin flat out beneath him and panting and how Sirius knows precisely how to get him to whimper out in that particularly stunning way.

“Sadistic— Hah— Sadistic bastard,” Remus groans as Sirius begins to thumb at the tip and uses the pre-come to slide faster up and down his shaft, his own hips rocking faster against Remus’s leg to catch at the sensation.

“No arguments here,” Sirius whispers, dipping back down to kiss him as he speeds up the stroking, and gets some of his own friction as he rubs against Remus’s thigh in quick and graceless thrusts and it’s only a moment more before Remus is groaning out with his orgasm and another few thrusts of Sirius’s own hips  after that when Sirius joins him, practically collapsing over his body once he does.

“Oof, get off me you prick.”

“Too tired Moons.”

“You’re heavy.”

“Are you calling me fat?”

Remus laughs and Sirius wishes he could be wrapped up in the sound for the next eon to come. For now, he only licks off the come still sticking to his hand, and Remus wrinkles his nose in acute disapproval, but then he kisses him deep and thorough. So Sirius doesn’t take it to heart. 

Eventually they adjust themselves so that they’re each lying on their sides and peering at one another, gentle but with more stability than they’ve felt for nearly a year now. It feels like they’ve come to some sorta equilibrium about where they go from here, and it’s so bloody miraculous. It’s like their lives have finally been unpaused from the war and they have a thousand, glimmering memories waiting to be had. A future painted with a house of their own, and visiting James and Lily and the Sprog every night for supper, and maybe even having one of their own. A future Sirius lost hope in while they were apart but is now suddenly and painfully the brightest spot in Sirius’s world. 

[isolemnlyswearpevensie]

Beyond Our Dreams | Remus Lupin x Reader Soulmate AU

Warnings: None

Time/Era: Marauders Era, Aged 19

Word count: 2.3k

Summary: Remus Lupin finally gets to meet his American soulmate, Y/N, after seeing eachother every night in their dreamscape. 

Request: can you do a remus lupin x gender neutral reader soulmate au where they see each other in their dreams

A/N: I adore Remus so much. He’s such a special character to me. So, thank you for the request! Enjoy! I also attached my Remus Lupin playlist, which is full of songs that remind me of this perfect boi :) Check it out if you want! 

masterlist | my remus lupin playlist | read on ao3

The apartment they chose to meet at was always the same; it was a small room with a comfy, forest green couch, a cozy bed, a small kitchenette, and a door that led to a bathroom. It was rather plain as well, with dark red walls and a plush carpet below their feet. On one of the walls, there was a large window that overlooked a calm city. The normal hustle and bustle of city life was extinguished by a heavy downpour. 

While most people made their dreamscapes extravagant and complicated, as it is their mind after all, Remus and Y/N found comfort in the simplicity. The pair just needed a comfortable spot to talk and get to know eachother. 

“And then Lily just sort of dropped the bomb,” Remus stated, sitting on the couch opposite of Y/N. His long fingers wrapped around a white mug and he held his tea close to his body. 

“I can’t believe she’s pregnant!” Y/N had her legs crossed and a plate of chocolate chip cookies situated in her lap. “We haven’t even met yet, but people our age are already having kids.” 

Remus heartily chuckled, raising his mug to his lips and taking a sip. “It’ll happen in due time, darling. Besides, it’s nice to have you to myself without outside influences,” He coughs. “My friends skewing your views on me.” 

“I know your friends are lovely, based on how you speak so fondly of them.” Y/N took a big bite of one of the chocolate chip cookies. It was chewy and gooey, making it absolutely delicious. “Why are dream cookies so good? Like, seriously, these things are to die for.” 

“Because they’re a figment of your imagination. They can be as yummy or as disgusting as you make them to be.” Remus pulled at the collar of his gray t-shirt, making the seams rip. “Do you ever wish I was more, I don’t know, exciting?” 

“What do you mean?�� Chocolate smudged on the corners of her mouth.

Remus grinned and licked his thumb, rubbing it over her delicate skin to clean her face. “I mean, our dream world is a one-bedroom apartment and all we ever do is talk. I don’t know, I hear Sirius has a rollercoaster in his dreamscape. I fell dull in comparison.” 

Y/N fondly smiled at her soulmate, moving so she was sitting directly next to him. “Rollercoasters are overrated. I like the comfort our little apartment gives us, it’s nice and warm in here and I have you next to me.” She set the cookies on the coffee table in front of the couch. “We don’t need to go on extravagant adventures, you seem to have enough of those when you’re awake.” 

“You deserve better, though. Not a guy in his late teens that is constantly tired and would rather sit on a couch drinking tea than going on a rollercoaster.” 

“I deserve you, and you are more than enough for me.” Y/N sighed, moving Remus’ hair out of his eyes. He couldn’t feel her physically, but it was still a nice gesture. “I’m not exactly itching to go on grand adventures. That’s what meeting you is for.” 

“You’re only 5,437 miles away, anyway.” Remus’ mouth twitched into a sad smile. “That’s nothing.” 

“Hey, it’s better than 5,438 miles.” 

“You got me there.” 

~

“What would you do if I came to London and surprised you?” Y/N laid her head on Remus’ thigh while he moved his hand through her hair, trying to imagine what it felt like. 

“I’d probably get rather quiet and not know what to do if I’m being honest,” Remus observed how Y/N’s locks flowed through his fingers like water and how it contrasted against the forest green upholstery of the couch. 

“Maybe let out a few cuss words?” 

“Why are you so obsessed with me cussing?” 

“Your accent is hot, especially when you say ‘fuck.’ I like to hear it.” Y/N smiled cheekily and watched Remus’ pupils dilate. 

“Fuck,” The words fall off his tongue with his Welsh accent. Much of the Welsh had faded, due to living at Hogwarts and now London, but it was still very apparent in his speech.  Y/N giggled and squirmed. 

“Yeah, like that. Sometimes you just slip it into casual conversations and I have to compose myself.” 

“Americans are weird, it’s just an accent.” 

“No, it’s not just an accent. It’s your accent so I like to hear it. Sue me!” Y/N threw her hands up in false anguish, lightly bumping Remus’ stomach. 

“You’re so dramatic, love.” 

“I am not dramatic! Just every time I compliment my favorite person in the world he says I’m weird! Maybe you’re the weird one, Lupin!” 

“Fine, I’m the weird one. Does that make you happy?” His voice sounded exasperated, but he was staring down at her with the fondest expression.

“Extremely.��� 

~

“Do you think Sirius, James, and Peter would like me?” Y/N sat on the counter of the dream kitchenette. 

“They already do like you, dear.” Remus stood between her legs with his hands resting on her thighs. With her sitting so high, they were almost the same height. “Why?” 

“Well they’re important to you, and you’re important to me, so I want them to like me. It would suck if your friends hated me.” 

“You don’t have to worry about that. They even have a nickname for you,” Remus looked away, his cheeks turned slightly red. This piqued Y/N’s attention. 

“A nickname? What is it?”

“Button.” Remus’ cheeks were dusted a light rose color and his ears were bright red. 

“Button? Why Button?” 

“Well, a few years ago we were all going around and describing our soulmates. I said that you were as cute as a button and I guess the name stuck.” 

Butterflies erupted in Y/N’s stomach and she planted a kiss on his cheek. “Why can’t I just apparate to you again?” 

“We talked about this, love. You’ve never been here and I’ve never been there so you can’t apparate straight here. And the plane ride between us is almost 11 hours.” 

“Fucking hell.” Y/N sighed in frustration. 

“Fucking hell, indeed.” 

~

“I did something, and you have to promise not to be mad at me.” Y/N paced around the kitchenette while Remus lounged on the couch. His head shot up at her words. 

“What did you do?” His mind raced a mile a minute and he prepared himself for the worst. Y/N probably found someone better than him and wanted to cut off contact. 

“It’s nothing bad, relax.” 

“Well if it’s not bad, why would I be mad?” Y/N sighed and sat next to him on the couch. 

“Well, in the real world I’m sort of on a plane to London right now.” 

Remus’ eyes bulged and he jumped off the couch. “You’re coming? Here? Really? Now?” 

“Well, I’ll be there in about four hours.” Remus was now pacing.

“Why didn’t you tell me?! Mine and Sirius’ flat is a wreck!” 

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to back out for a silly reason like a messy apartment.” Y/N stood and reached for her boy. “I love you and I couldn’t wait any longer.” 

“Four hours?” 

“Yes, four hours.And I need a ride from the airport.” 

~

Y/N stood atop the escalator and looked at the crowd below, scanning all the faces for her love. Her face crinkled when she didn’t see Remus but two young men holding a piece of cardboard with her name written in black marker on it. She realized that the two were, in fact, James Potter and Sirius Black. 

“Sirius and James?” She said walking up, suitcase in hand. Both were much taller than Y/N and extremely handsome, making her feel slightly uncomfortable under their gaze. Both young men grinned down at her. 

“Ah, you must be Button. Nice to know Remus talks about us enough for you to recognize our handsome faces,” Sirius exclaims, putting the cardboard under his arm and nudging James. “You’re even prettier than Rem described.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Well, you aren’t exactly hard to miss. Long hair, leather jacket, combat boots, overly flirty,” Y/N turns to James. “Glasses, The Beatles shirt, tired expression. Obviously, you’re James Potter and Sirius Black.” She smiles and pulls her hair behind her ear. “Congrats on the baby, by the way.” 

James beams, “Thanks! Kinda crazy considering the circumstances, but you know how it goes.” He takes Y/N’s luggage and starts walking towards the exit. “You threw Moony into quite a panic, you know. It was one of the best things I’ve seen in a while.” 

“It had to be done, he’s been putting it off for years. Something about not wanting me to be disappointed, whatever that means.” 

“Ah, classic moons. Glad you came though, really shakes up our daily schedule.” Sirius responds. The three make their way to a Volkswagon Beetle and James pops the trunk to put Y/N’s luggage inside. 

“Why didn’t he come and get me? Not that I mind the company, of course.” Sirius crawls into the back middle seat, leaving Y/N to sit shotgun with James driving. “Woah, I forgot it’s on the wrong side.”

“He pussied out, I’m sure you know how nervous he gets,” James pulled out onto the street and down the road. “And what’s on the wrong side?” 

“Your car and the road, James. It’s on the wrong side.” 

“It’s not on the wrong side, maybe you’re on the wrong side. Ever think of that?” He turned his head to look at her, the thick frame glasses on his face sliding down his nose. 

“See! You agree! I am currently on the wrong side!” Y/N giggled and hugged her backpack to her chest. 

Sirius also lets out a loud, bellowing laugh. Y/N felt as though she had known these two her entire life; in a way, she had. 

The three pulled into a parking structure and she exited the beetle. (The car, she had come to discover, was named Lennon, after John Lennon himself.) She hadn’t been nervous up until this moment, staring at the apartment door. James patted her shoulder and smiled. 

“It’ll be okay. He’s the same Remus you’ve been talking to for the past however many years.” 

“Yeah, if you even get him to talk,” Sirius pushes his way between the two and towards the door, lugging Y/N’s bag into the flat. He drops the luggage in the middle of the living room and flops onto the couch. “Oh, Moonbear, your lover is here! Get your fine ass out of your room, before I take it out here myself!” 

Y/N cautiously pads into the house, taking in the atmosphere of the home. It was very similar to their dreamscape, very small and sparsely decorated. However, the flat seemed to have 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, as well as a few closets. The livingroom had various framed band posters hanging on the walls, as well as a big framed picture of the entire friend group. Y/N could point out who was who easily as she observed it. 

“Lily is so pretty,” She said aloud and pointed between two blondes. “Which one is Marlene and which one is Mary?” 

Sirius and James look at eachother and share a laugh. “Merlin, he really does talk about us.” James points at the girl with the big, poofy hair. “That one’s Marls, the other is Mary.” 

“Makes sense, since I’m assuming that’s Dorcas?” Y/N’s gaze moves from the blonde to a pretty brunette next to her. 

“Oi, Moons, I didn’t realize you spoke about us so much,” James says, making Y/N turn around. In all his glory, Remus Lupin stood in the living room, decked out in jeans, and a The Smiths shirt. He was perfectly imperfect, and Y/N’s entire body warmed. His gaze didn’t leave Y/N as James spoke but he allowed his jaw to grow slightly slack and his hands to pull his shirt down. 

“You’re even more beautiful in person, how is that possible?” His voice was breathy and light as if he was in complete awe. The light from the windows highlighted his cheekbones and made his features look unbelievably sharp, creating shadows that danced down his neck. He looked heavenly in absolutely every way possible, and this moment made her entire travel day worth it. Y/N blushed and stepped towards him. 

“Nice shirt, missed you at the airport, though.” 

Remus rolls his eyes and pulls his girl close to him. “Sorry ‘bout that, sunshine.” 

Y/N nestled her face into his chest, taking deep breaths of his cologne. He was even better than she expected, all the way down to the wool socks he wore. Remus’ hand came to gently stroke her hair before looking up to see his friends. Unsurprisingly, though, the living room was now empty and Sirius’ bedroom door was closed. 

“You smell so good, is that weird to say?” Y/N mumbles into the fabric of his shirt. “Like pine, and candy. I don’t know how to describe it.” She felt his chest vibrate as he laughed. 

“I can’t believe you’re finally here.” 

“Had’ta be sneaky, catch you off guard.” Y/N looked up into his eyes and glanced down to his lips. 

The soft look of admiration she had seen so many times crossed his features as he leaned down to capture her lips in a kiss. 

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Not yet [Remus Lupin x Reader]

Title: Not yet Pairing: Remus Lupin x Black sister!Slytherin!Reader Word count: 1.8k Published: 24 August, 2020 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Notes: I wrote this little fic because Dee [ @obsessedwithrandomthings​ ] and I were brainstorming at 4am in the morning and I just couldn't get this idea out of my head ^^ Summary: You have been hiding your relationship with Remus from your brother, Sirius for the past year, fearing to lose the love of your life.

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

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Being Sirius and Regulus' sister was anything but easy. You were always stuck between their feuds and acted as a peace maker. As a Slytherin you got less of your mother's constant nagging, but being one to oppose their views provided you with enough grief from them.

You were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, listening to your older brother and his friends planning their newest prank. Your eyes gazed over to Remus, who was seated beside you on the sofa, his attention completely given to the conversation.

The boy has stolen your heart long ago and he was well aware of it. You have been hiding your relationship from Sirius for about a year now, but you were still too scared to say anything. You knew they were best friends and you didn't want them to argue, let alone fight about your relationship. You wanted to show off Remus as your boyfriend, you wanted to scream to the world that he belonged to you. Your love for him was beyond what you could ever imagine and it hurt to not be able to tell others how much the sweet boy meant to you.

You watched as the corner of his eyes crinkled, whilst laughing at his friends' silly ideas. You couldn't take your eyes off his lips turning into a grin as he shook his head disapprovingly, when James offered you up to be the bait in their newest prank.

"Wait what?" You turned to the boy with a deep frown between your brows as you realised what the conversation was about.

"Oh, so you are here. I wasn't sure if you could hear us. You were rather concentrated on staring at Moony." He chuckled. You felt your face heat up and you were more than certain that you were blushing wildly.

"No, I was not." You let your head drop forward as you played with your hands awkwardly.

"Oh, yes you were. You were almost drooling." Peter joined in with a grin across his face.

"Oh hush, I was just lost in my thoughts." You attempted to lie, but your brother knew you better. He shook his head with a questioningly raised brow.

"I don't think so. Hey, Moony, I think Y/N fancies you." Sirius laughed at his comment, which earned a growling sound to leave your lungs.

"And what would you do if I did?" You asked your brother and for the first time, they all fell silent. You could feel Remus' questioning gaze on you, trying to figure out if you were just testing the waters or you really were to reveal your relationship.

Sirius' face seemed more disturbed, almost angered for some reason and that was exactly what you were scared of.

"Do you?" He asked in a warning tone, but you didn't reply. His brows furrowed, hoping for the silence to mean otherwise. "And you?" Sirius turned to Remus, who's face wasn't happy anymore. His expression was steel, no emotions displayed.

"Okay, let's change the subject." James tried to ease the tension.

"Not now, Prongs. I want to hear them out." He waved his friend off, whilst keeping his stare on your pair.

"Even if I had feelings for Remus, you wouldn't be the one I would share them with," You stood up abruptly.

"You are my sister and Remus is my best friend. I'm quite certain I have the right to know." He huffed, his tone clearly annoyed. You shook your head and scoffed at his demanding tone. That response was exactly why you felt the need to hide your love for Remus. You had a sense that your brother would be surely unhappy with your relationship and you weren't ready to give up Remus.

Yes, you knew if Sirius was to oppose your love, you would leave Remus in a heartbeat. You loved him endlessly, he was your everything and exactly because of that, you knew how much Remus needed his friends. You would never stand between them. The thought of you being separated from Remus broke your heart. You didn't even realise when a teardrop rolled down your face.

You left your dumbfounded brother behind and started off through the corridors to head to your own house. You were not ready to lose Remus. Not yet.

You felt a grip around your wrist and as you turned around, your eyes met two beautiful eyes full of sadness.

"Remus?" You questioned. He pulled you into his chest, embracing you, hiding his face in your hair. You could feel his breath on your neck sending shivers down your skin, causing goosebumps to appear.

"Sweetheart, please don't cry." He hushed you, cupping your face, removing the escaped tears with the tip of his thumbs. "We will sort this out." He attempted to calm you down in a reassuring tone. You never told him about the real reason why you felt the need to hide your relationship. "Let's just tell him. We don't need to hide it anymore. We have been together for over a year. He will understand it's not just a fling." He tried to convince you, but you just shook your head.

"No. I can't." You replied as a loud sob left your lungs.

"Why? What are we waiting for?" He furrowed his brows as you hid yourself further in his chest, wanting to feel his warmness against you. "Sweetheart, talk to me." He pulled your face out of his chest, tilting your face upwards to look up at him.

"I'm not ready to lose you yet." You sniffled. His eyes widened in surprise, unable to understand your way of thinking.

"Why would you?" He frowned, his head tilted.

"I'm sure Sirius wouldn't want us to be together and I would never stand between your friendship. I love you too much to see you suffer." With a swift movement you removed the tears staining your cheeks.

"I don't plan on leaving you, even if he is opposed to our relationship. He will come around, Y/N. He doesn't have a choice." He tried to argue your point, but you just shook your head for the hundredth time that day.

"And until then? You would lose a friend, someone who has been beside you since your first day of school. You would lose someone who has been supporting you through your hardships. You would lose your best friend. I don't want to carry that weight." You removed your eyes from his and sobbed into his chest.

"Darling, you need to stop seeing things that way. Sirius is my best friend and I expect him to understand that my love for you is real. I have loved you for years and finally you are mine. I am not planning on letting you go, nor am I planning on leaving you. If that knob head of a brother of yours is incapable of understanding that, then I will hammer it into his stupid head." Remus chuckled painfully as he kissed the top of your head.

"He understands." You heard a familiar voice and you immediately jumped back, a few steps away from Remus.

"How much have you heard?" You asked, heaving a shaky breath as your brother's face stayed emotionless.

"Since Remus caught you, everything." He replied. Your tears started falling faster, your vision completely blurred out. You weren't ready. You needed more time with Remus. You couldn't lose him just yet. Maybe just a few weeks, even just a few days. You couldn't let go of him. Not yet.

"I am so sorry Sirius. I know you are angry and I didn't plan to hide it for so long, but I'm not ready to lose him just yet. Please don't be mad at him." You were almost begging Sirius. A deep frown took over his forehead as he stepped closer, pulling you into a hug. You sobbed uncontrollably, heaviness still sitting on your shoulder, waiting for a reply.

"I love you, but you really are daft." He scoffed with a little chuckle leaving his lungs. You pulled out of his embrace, looking up into his grey eyes, searching for reassurance, that his words meant hope for you. "Am I really that bad of a brother?" He asked, his gaze wandering between your eyes.

"No, of course not." You shook your head quickly.

"Then why would you think of me like some kind of a monster, who doesn't let his sister be happy?" He raised a brow and you could feel yourself shrink under his heavy gaze.

"You always hated my boyfriends." You replied sheepishly.

"Because they didn't deserve you. But I know Remus like the back of my hand. I know he would take care of you better than anyone. Hell, better than me." He huffed with a small smile.

"So you are not mad?" You asked, waiting for a confirmation.

"Oh, I am." He replied and you could feel your heart sink deeper in sorrow. "I am mad, because you decided to hide it from me. Both my sister and my best friend have been lying to me for a whole year. That doesn't sit well with me." He shook his head, disapproving your behaviour.

"But you are not opposing us then." You questioned.

"Not at all. I am happy for you." He smiled sweetly and finally your tears stopped and a large, cheerful smile took over your face. "But you will have to make it up to me. You have been lying far too long." He shrugged as he let you go and pushed you into Remus's arms. "If you don't mind, I will be leaving, because I am certainly not interested in my best friend snogging my sister." He grimaced as he turned his back and walked away with a rather large grin across his face, which you couldn't see.

You turned to Remus, this time a happy smile displayed on your face as you gazed over your lover, carving his handsome features into your memory.

"You see, everything is just fine. You should give a bit more credit to your brother." Remus chuckled as he leaned down to you, giving you a tiny peck on your lips.

"I guess, you are right. I feel relieved." You grinned as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss, feeling lighter than ever.  

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[aprilsrant]

Be brave, little wizard.

PAIRING: Neville Longbottom x Aunt!Reader (platonic, of course) | Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader.

SUMMARY: (Y/N) and Alice have been best friends since they were kids, way before Hogwarts. After everythin that happened to her and Frank, (Y/N) is the one that takes care of Neville.

WORD COUNT: 2,9k

WARNINGS: pretty sad, angst, character death, change of canon (big detail but i think it was necessary), mentions of Neville’s parents being tortured, reader kills someone, ups. If there are more and there aren’t here, please tell me.

A/N: This took me ages to even start and I’m really sorry, but now that’s here I feel so proud of it. This has to be the fic of my own that I love the most even if I broke my own heart while writing it. The end is kind of rush because it was almost 3am, sorry.

English is not my first language.

MASTERLIST | WORK IN PROGRESS.

Gif below is not mine.

One could never find Alice Fortescue and (Y/N) (Y/L/N) far away from one another, one of them would always follow the other. Both girls became joined by the hip after a particularly hot day in July when (Y/N) and her family visited the Ice Cream Parlour on Diagon Alley, owned by Alice’s uncle, Florean. 

After that, Alice and (Y/N) did everything together meaning it wasn’t a surprise to anyone that their friendship only grew stronger on their days at Hogwarts. They had their fair share of fights of course, people always do, whether the matter is relevant or silly, but they knew better: arguments happen and proving your point might be important, but friendships hold more value than being right. 

Although the Wizarding World was turning more dark and dangerous with every passing second because of Voldemort’s hunger for power and his ruthless Death Eaters hunting down muggleborns and what they liked to call blood traitors, Alice and (Y/N) still tried to find joy and happiness in the littlest of things, exciting over Alice and Frank’s wedding, daydreaming about the day they could get a proper and big ceremony, instead of a small gathering with the closest of friends and family members. 

On July, 30th of 1980, (Y/N) understood what Alice was to her. The girl with the plump, always happy looking face was, not only her closest confidant, but her sister as well. They may not have been related by blood, yet they loved each other like family. Thick as thieves, as the muggles would say.

(Y/N) had barely sat in the brown, ugly chair beside her best friend’s hospital bed, with her newborn boy asleep and unaware of the silent tears running through both of the girl’s cheeks, when Alice confided. 

“We want you to be Neville’s Godmother.”

Her eyes stopped looking at the baby boy tucked in her arms to glance towards Alice’s direction, who was now being hugged from behind by Frank, both of them with large grins on their faces and reassuring expressions.

“M-Me?”

“Well, of course you, (Y/N)!,” exclaimed Frank before letting go of Alice for a second and getting shushed by both of them to keep him from disturbing Neville, “you are practically Alice’s sister after so many years of friendship,” he continued, now in a more quiet voice.

“He’s right, you are my sister and I can’t think of anyone else being better than you as his godmother.”

Several hours later, Harry Potter, son of Lily Evans and James Potter, was born. (Y/N) had gone to their room a day after to deliver her congratulations along with the ones from Alice and Frank, encountering Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew hunched down over the crib in which Harry was sleeping peacefully, staring at his small frame and his tiny chest barely rising with every breath. 

None of them imagined how fast things could change for the worse. 

(Y/N) knew Alice’s choice of career was dangerous, being an Auror was never an easy task but with Death Eaters and Voldemort bringing chaos and destruction to their world, the job was even harder. Still, she never thought she would be escorted to St. Mungo’s after receiving the news that her best friend, her sister, and her husband had been tortured by a group of blood supremacists seeking for their Master, not after also learning about the Potter’s deaths and how they’d been betrayed.  

A healer explained to her what had happened to them, but she didn’t care, she didn’t want to listen; she didn’t have the strength for it. She could only sit beside Alice and grab her hand, and cry and beg someone, anyone, to bring her back. 

“Alice, please, I need you, please,” (Y/N) repeated between sobs, almost like a mantra, ”Neville needs you, he is your son and- and he needs his mother, please, Alice. You can’t leave us.”

During her fourth day in the hospital, which she would only leave to eat and shower because of Augusta Longbottom’s insistence, a diveleshed Remus Lupin walked through the doors of the Janus Thickey Ward. He sat down beside (Y/N) and neither of them talked for a long time, until Remus decided he needed to say something.

“I don’t have much to say, (Y/N), but I know how close you were and I’m so sorry,” the boy whispered while reaching to grab her hand in an attempt to comfort her.

“I’m sorry too, Remus,” she whispered back, biting her lip and trying to not cry again,” neither of them deserved this.”

Neither did us, the pair thought.

“Where is Harry?,” (Y/N) asked him, suddenly remembering that the Potters had left a child too, “is he staying with you?”

“N-No, no. He is with Lily’s sister,” Remus answered after swallowing harshly, “what about Neville?”

“Augusta, Frank’s mum, will take care of him.” (Y/N) glanced over the old woman sitting beside her son while her grandchild rested on his crib. “I’ve been thinking about asking her if I can move in with them, I- I don’t feel like being alone right now.”

“You are always welcomed to visit me,” he assured in a low voice, as if he wasn’t sure of how she would react, “I know we weren’t the closest of friends back in Hogwarts, but- but you can count with me, we can count with each other.”

The sixteen year old (Y/N) would have been a stuttering mess if Remus Lupin had said that to her back in their sixth year at Hogwarts. Alice would have laughed at her embarrassed expression, joked about her sweaty hands and insisted that the Gryffindor returned her feelings, to which she would refuse to accept.

Now her best friend was in the hospital, a place she could never leave, her husband in the same condition and their son would have to grow up without his parents. She would have the chance to watch Neville first steps, to hear his first words, to celebrate the arrival of his Hogwarts letter at the age of eleven, to compliment his achievements, to just be there for him every time he’ll need it. It wasn’t fair and she would give her soul in an instant to anyone that claimed they could bring Alice and Frank back, even if it meant not seeing them again.

Taking care of Neville was easier than (Y/N) had expected. He’d only cry if he was hungry or if his diapers needed change, and for moments the woman wished for him to be more like the kind of babies who won’t let you sit down and relax, so then she wouldn’t have to force herself to block the blinding rage, the never ending desire for vengeance and, the worst of all, the guilt sinking down in her stomach and numbing her mind every single time Neville would look at her and smile, or whenever a giggle would escape his mouth after watching (Y/N) conjure tiny, golden lights with her wand. 

The first time Neville properly talked, which meant he didn’t just babble like he usually did, (Y/N) swallowed all of her tears in front of Augusta and only let them out behind her room’s closed door after dinner. That same night, she sent a message through her Patronus to Remus, asking if she could Apparate in his flat right away. When she received an affirmative answer, she didn’t waste any time, quickly informing Augusta where she was going in case of an emergency.

The minute she was in front of his door, she’d started to regret her decision. What was she thinking? They weren’t particularly close, they would see each other from time to time since he would visit Neville once or twice every two weeks and he would go with her to see Alice and Frank, but never really talked about the important things, just making light conversation and asking each other how they were doing, both of them knowing that neither would answer the question truthfully.

After coming to the conclusion that she needed to do this, needed someone to confide in, (Y/N) raised her fist and knocked on the door two times, waited, and knocked again —his idea so they could know it was the other behind the door—. 

On the other side of the threshold was Remus Lupin with his wand pointed towards her.

“Bowtruckle,” she said confidently, although her hand was clutching tightly around her wand.

“Thunderbird.”

She loathed the idea of having safe words, but he had insisted on it because of the few Death Eaters still on the run and causing havoc. Even if she’ll never mention it to him, the second the word she had picked up for him to say left his mouth, tranquility invaded her system, calming down most of her fears. 

“We could have chosen better words,” (Y/N) commented while she entered his apartment, which looked like he had tried to tidy everything up before her arrival but had failed miserably. The space was small, not a problem since he lived alone, but that meant you could see all of the rooms. There were mugs on every surface, clothes thrown over the sofa and a bin filled to the top with chocolate wrappers. 

“The whole place is a mess, I’m sorry,” he rushed to say while flicking his wand and enchanted the cups to clean themselves, different items of clothes, mostly sweaters, flew across the flat and ended up in the laundry basket, “I-I wasn’t expecting you to come today.”

“It’s good, Remus, I don’t mind,” (Y/N) assured, following him and sitting down on the maroon sofa that occupied pretty much all of the living room, “I should be the one apologising for showing up with such short notice and at this hour, but I… I guess I needed someone to talk to.”

“Oh, okay. Did something happen? Is Neville alright?”

“Yes, yes, he’s fine, brilliant actually,” she answered quickly to not worry him,” the thing is, he said his first word today and, and, well, he called me mum.”

“And now you feel guilty,” Remus assumed. (Y/N) had filled with tears once more, blurring her sight and dripping down her cheeks. When she started to sob, shaking her shoulders while her hands tried to muffle the sounds, Remus understood it wasn’t just guilt, but the grief she hadn’t let herself experience. Pulling her closer to him, Remus rested his chin on top of her head while his arms embraced her figure.

“I- I don’t know what to do, Remus,” she whimpered, “I’m not, I’m not trying to replace her, I swear.” Her hands found his old, forest green sweater, fingers clutching desperately to the fabric while her cries increased. “I could never replace her.”

“You are not replacing Alice, (Y/N),” he denied. His fingertips rubbing her arm tenderly, knowing nothing would be enough to comfort but still trying, just for her to know he was there. “You’re doing your best and there’s nothing wrong with Neville seeing you as a mother figure.”

“I don’t want him to,” the words left her mouth in a whisper, as if she was scared of what Remus would think of her for saying them out loud, for crossing her mind, “I shouldn’t be his mother figure because she should be here. She should be the one to feed him, to play with him, to get to know him and- and she is not, she is not here, Remus.”

Neville is four years old when he asks his Auntie (Y/N), because yes, he understands that she is not her mother, about the middle size portrait hung in the living room. The little boy doesn’t recognise the man nor the woman carrying a baby painted in it, for they don’t like his aunt, or granny or Remus, (Y/N)’s friend who always gives him chocolate when Augusta is not in the room.

(Y/N)’s heart beats loudly after hearing her godson’s question, the tightness in her chest making her feel trapped. Sitting down Neville beside her on the sofa, she glanced down to the boy, who was the spitting image of Alice.

“The people in the picture are your parents, Nev,” (Y/N) began in a soft tone, her fingers playing tenderly with the curls of his brown hair, “and the baby the woman, your mother, is carrying is you of course.”

“Why aren’t they here?,” he asked after climbing and settling on her lap, his head raised to look at his aunt.

“Because they- they need to be in another place.”

“Will they- will they come back, auntie?”

“I don’t know, Nev,” she lied while hugging him and planting a delicate kiss on one of his round cheeks, the lump on her throat growing. 

She’d hoped he didn’t ask more questions or else she’ll have to explain the tears. He didn’t.

(Y/N) wouldn’t dare to say that the pain and the guilt abandoned her completely, but with each passing year things got just a little bit easier and her heart less heavy. 

The first time Neville visited his parents wasn’t so terrible as she had imagined. (Y/N) had put him aside before entering the doors leading to the Janus Thickey Ward and explained, one more time, the situation to him, making sure he was ready.

“You need to be brave, little wizard. I’ll be by your side every step of the way.”

Neville was nine years old when Alice gave him a gum wrapper, something that quickly became a “tradition” between the two of them, mother and son. She would never recover and she would never watch Neville grow up and become a man, but such simple gesture showed him consistency and, most importantly, that Alice’s love for him could never be taken away from her. 

People would pity the death most of the time, (Y/N) had been guilty of it, but after everything that had happened she realized it was so much worse for those left behind. You are expected to overcome your grief and move on with your life, but the void and the mark someone is capable of leaving in you never goes away and it’s the reason why it hurts so much to lose them.

Although (Y/N) hadn’t been alone, Augusta and Neville would never understand her pain and she’d never understand theirs for they were very different. Therefore, Remus Lupin became her rock in the darkest times and she became his, confiding in each other during their most vulnerable moments. 

They would spend entire days together, playing with Neville and telling him stories of their years at Hogwarts; drinking tea near the fireplace during winter while discussing books, politics, muggle movies or whatever topic they could think of; celebrating birthdays just for the sake of Neville, who loved the cake and giving presents. It was clear that falling in love with Remus hadn’t been much difficult for her, it was, instead, getting him to open up and let her in his life in a whole new way. 

(Y/N) respected his decision, it was better to have Remus as a close friend and companion than not have him at all. She would stay with him on the days near the full moon —he told her after quite a few shots of Firewhisky and she admitted she’d been suspecting for a long time now—, look after his wounds and sleep on his sofa, because she could never take his bed in those nights (especially the rough ones). 

On May 2nd, he left her behind.

However, she had barely escaped the claws of death, her only thought being Neville and how she needed to stay alive for him. 

Bellatrix Lestrange was the last Death Eater standing, the mad woman fighting Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood and Hermione Granger in the middle of the Great Hall, while Harry Potter faced Voldemort all by himself.

(Y/N) didn’t know how or from where she had gathered the strength to send all of the three girls behind her with a swift motion of her wand, but seeing Lestrange, one of the Death Eaters responsible for her best friend’s fate, shouting the Killing Curse to the Weasley girl had ignited the fire she’d tried so long to extinguish. Perhaps because Ginny reminded her of Lily for a second, or because she was tired of watching innocent people die around her.

She was now standing a couple of metres away from Bellatrix, the one that’d tortured her sister into insanity, taking away all of her life. But (Y/N) wouldn’t become one of her victims, she wouldn’t be a name on a list and she wouldn’t let Bellatrix take another person from Neville’s life.

It hadn’t been easy and she should have felt sick of it, but the lifeless body of Bellatrix Lestrange and the roars of people all over the place, brought her a bittersweet feeling of satisfaction. 

Sitting down beside Neville after the final battle finished, she threw one of her arms around his shoulders and kissed his forehead, silently thanking whoever had watched over him. 

“Earlier, I saw you on the Courtyard defending a group of students from the Dementors,” he began, “and your Patronus was so, so extraordinary. What did you think of, aunt?”

(Y/N) allowed herself to smile softly.

“I thought of the day you were born, of course.”

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[acciofanfics]

First Time (Remus Lupin x Reader) SMUT Part 2

Part 2!

Pairing: Young Remus Lupin x FemReader

Warnings: Smut, little bit of insecurity, and a lot of cheese

A/N: Okay, so first off I’d like to apologize if this is OOC and ridiculously cheesy but honestly ya boy deserves it! Also this isn’t hardcore or super detailed... but I’m ashamed to say that I’ve been playing Story of Seasons 😭- S

——————————————————————

Remus felt a little bit like he was watching himself from outside his body as (Y/N) grabbed his hand and led him to the plush blankets and pillows spread across the floor. Remus followed her lead when she kicked off her shoes, he did the same and just waited for further instructions. It seemed so silly to be acting this way... it wasn’t like they’d never even touched each other before. He just felt so... inadequate and underprepared. He knew that she wasn’t a virgin when they got together and while he had no problem with that he did feel a little self-conscious himself, because he was not in the same boat (only yet another way he could disappoint her). He stood there awkwardly and watched her grab a handful of sweets and a bottle of Gilly-Water and sit down on a pillow. Cautiously Remus followed suit and blushed when she giggled at him. “Remus calm down... here have a piece of chocolate it helps.”

He graciously accepted the piece of a chocolate wand she snapped off for him. She was right, chocolate did help. “I’m sorry... I’m a bit nervous, in case it wasn’t painfully obvious.”

“We’ve kissed before right?” She asked a rhetorical question and placed the food beside her. She’d known that it would probably be beneficial to take everything slow and just have a bit of dessert to try and relax him, but clearly that wasn’t going to work. So instead she crawled over to him, “So just worry about kissing me, not anything else okay?”

There was something about her being on her hands and knees in front of him awakening some primal desire within him. He wasn’t going to completely turn into something he just wasn’t in that moment, but he did relax a little and leaned in closer to her. His lips hovered close enough to hers that he could feel her breath on him. She was right, they had kissed before and this wasn’t something abnormal. He could do this.... and so he did. She tasted like chocolate and it was no secret that Remus had a sweet tooth.

(Y/N) crawled even closer to him, until Remus was helping her onto his lap, trying to break their kiss as little as possible in the transition. Remus was just happy to have somewhere to put his hands finally, he loved touching her it made him feel better like she was really there. She wrapped herself around him feeling encouraged by his hands on her thighs. Remus had almost completely forgot about being nervous, he was too focused on how it felt to have her tongue flick across his.

(Y/N) moved her lips from his to his neck. Remus sighed contently, and it drove her crazy (it always did). She wasn’t sure if Remus knew it or not, but she loved hearing any little sign of approval from him, just knowing he enjoyed what she was doing got her going. Remus let one of his hands slide up her skirt, he was attempting to keep his grip rather innocent, but as soon as his hands met her bare skin he couldn’t keep them from wandering higher.

(Y/N) pulled away and smiled at his whimper. “Is this okay?” She began popping open the buttons on her shirt. She was thankful she’d put on something a little fancier for just in case (although she knew Remus wouldn’t have cared either way). He swallowed hard, his eyes becoming a little more cemented to her with each button opened. He’d gotten a short glance once or twice during some “study” sessions that were interrupted usually by Sirius, James and/or Peter.

There weren’t any interruptions this time though, no he just got to take the new sights in. Merlin, she was gorgeous and he attempted to memorize every inch of smooth skin, but his eyes kept snapping back to the flesh that was spilling provocatively over some black lace, and while the lace was nice to look at... really nice to look at.... it just made him question how nice it’d look on the floor. Once her shirt was completely open she shrugged it off of her. Remus couldn’t really think of anything to say so he chose of much more forward response. Starting at her neck and making his was down to the swells of her breasts he laid soft almost hesitant kisses across her skin.

(Y/N) felt herself melt into his kisses, and she started playing with the fastenings on his shirt. When she felt him tense a little bit she paused, “You can tell me to stop.” Her voice was a whisper and she was afraid that he really would tell her to stop.

“I just.... I’m not quite as pleasant to look at.” Remus mumbled against her skin. For a second he worried that she was heeding his warning, because she pushed him away from her, but just enough she could look him in the eyes.

“Don’t say that.... I don’t care if it was a joke or you honestly feel that way, but I want you to listen to me. I never want to hear you say an unkind thing about the most kind, caring and handsome person I know. Got it?” Her heart broke for him, it really did. He had so much to deal with and she knew that he had a good support system, but she also knew that he hated the feeling of having to need them all the time. He didn’t want to burden anyone.

Remus couldn’t help but smile at her. He really did love her and as odd as it seemed to him she loved him. He kissed her, there was no way he would’ve been able to top her sentiment with his own words so he hoped he could convey his gratitude with actions instead. Remus wasn’t nearly as timid as before, instead there was more of a hunger to connect with the person he adored more than anyone in the world on another intimate level. (Y/N) felt the same and so it wasn’t surprising when they found themselves falling naked onto the bed within a matter of minutes.

(Y/N) crawled on top of him, “You’re sure you want to do this?”

Remus just nodded, and he let out a strangled groan whenever she sank down on top of him. If he had known being buried deep inside of her would feel this way it was possible that he might’ve let go of his convictions much quicker. They were a mess of cries of pleasure mixed in with confirmations of love, until they had both reached their climax.

Remus didn’t know he could feel so content in life. But tangled up with (Y/N) was definitely doing it. She was draped over him lazily about 2 yawns away from being asleep, but she insisted she just wanted to lay with him for “only a moment” but when her breathing started to heavy and her eyes closed Remus knew that ship has sailed. He placed a kiss to her forehead, he’d let her sleep for a few minutes and then wake her up. If he were being completely honest with himself he was quite comfortable himself.