#remus lupin fic rec | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aphrcdites · 1 year ago

Text

this was quite literally the perfect mix of angst and fluff 🥹 i loved this so much

It's nice to have a friend.

Remus Lupin x fem!reader

"No one loves a monster like me."

"I do."

warnings- cursing, the prank (with major changes), angst (?), my writing

13k

author's note:- i wrote this listening to taylor and lana. english is not my first language, so beware <3

"What time do you call this?"

You bit down your lips at Remus's flat tone. He looked up from his book with an expression you couldn't figure to be irritated or nonchalant.

"I'm so sorry, Remus. I got carried away with astrology," you said as you attempted to sit beside him. He quickly put his books on your seat with a loud thud. Fortunately for him, the library was empty.

"Then go and play with your stars."

"What?" you asked, a bit confused. "Aren't we supposed to study together?"

"We were. But you're late," he said, shaking his head.

"I'm only twenty minutes late," you furrowed your brows at his uncharacteristic rudeness.

He was staring at you as you glared back.

"You damaged your brain while studying Transfiguration without me, didn't you?"

You arched a brow uncomfortably, getting ready to talk again, but Remus's face softened and changed into amusement. The next thing you heard was his light laughter.

"Hilarious, prick."

"I'm a funny bloke," he chuckled as he lifted the books to grant you a seat, which you took.

"You're not really, James and Sirius are way funnier."

"Weren't you the one throwing a tantrum over their prank yesterday? You certainly weren't laughing."

"They died my hair to green! And don't act like you had no part in it."

"I only told them green is your favourite colour. Was I wrong?"

You blankly ogled his smirk.

"Green suits you."

"You know what suits you, Remus? Purple. Should I do something about it?"

To your irritation, his smirk widened. You turned your hand into a fist. "Which eye is your favourite?"

"I only have two."

"That's not an answer."

"Is there supposed to be an answer? The two are the same."

"Well then," you threw your fist at his eye, Remus raising his arm to protect himself.

"Did Sirius bribe you to hit me?"

"No, but he did offer me some galleons in exchange for your chocolate this morning."

"That was you?!"

This time it's your turn to smirk.

"Time is of the essence, Remus, we have to study." you opened a book before you, waving off Remus as he grumbled something under his breath.

You started to study together, helping each other occasionally.

It was a habit now; you two would study together every week for at least four evenings.

Remus was frustrated today; you could tell from his bouncing leg and twitching lips. But you didn't point it out; you knew he felt uncomfortable when someone coddled him. It was one of the perks of being best friends for five years.

From the first year of Hogwarts to the sixth year, you learned almost everything about Remus by heart. How he scratched the hairs on the back of his neck when deep in thought, or how he never looked up from his book while reading, even if his friends were trying to converse with him.

In return, he knew exactly what to tell you when you were overwhelmed by the studies or how to make you laugh when you were feeling like crying.

You two had always been there for each other, listening, understanding, and supporting one another through everything. You had stayed in the hospital wing all night for Remus when he broke his arm in the third year, and he had been there for you when you were burning with a fever two years ago.

There were too many incidents like these which you and Remus shared that proved the special bond between you. James, Sirius and Peter were also your friends, but with Remus, it was different; unique.

He had made you feel appreciated and loved, never let you down or never let anyone look down on you. Sometimes James and Sirius would mock you two for this affection, but that would always earn them a smack on the head from Remus.

You knew everything about him, and he knew everything about you.

Well, almost everything.

He didn't know that your affection for him was something more; It had been for quite some time now.

At first, you thought it was an innocent crush because of teenage hormones or something, and it would fade away with time.

But it didn't. You grew out of 'I fancy Remus Lupin' to 'I love Remus Lupin'. Of course, you never confided in anyone about your burning infatuation, keeping it secret, burying it deep inside your heart.

The same secret that was fighting to break free from your heart's walls every time Remus smiled at you.

The same secret that was clawing from its grave to get up and fly, bleeding your heart every time Remus embraced you and called you a friend.

The same secret that prickled your eyes with tears every time you remembered that you weren't the only one keeping secrets.

He was keeping something from you, too.

You had always felt it in his eyes, glancing away when you would ask about a scar on his arm or a cut on his thumb.

The first time you fought on it was when you saw the huge scar on his face in the second year. You had worried so much that you pushed Remus's patience, and he had yelled at you. For twelve years old, it was a big hit in their friendship. You hadn't talked to each other for two weeks. In the end, Remus approached you to apologize and explained how the Marauders' prank had backfired, resulting in his scar. You had cried that day because of how much you had missed your friend. Remus hugged you tight, but you could swear you heard a sniff or two from him as well.

Remus would always say the scars on his body were because of a prank, and you would pretend to believe it.

Until this year.

You may be a Gryffindor, but you weren't stupid. You had noticed how he would disappear every full moon and "get sick." You didn't push him before because you thought maybe he needed time, but his distrust was turning the understanding in you into resentment.

It hadn't been to hard make speculations about the situation, but you wanted him to confide in you.

"Are you asleep with your eyes open?" Remus startled you, pulling your focus back to the present.

"Are you calling me a dolphin?"

"You two have a lot in common," he patted your head with his quill.

"Freakingly cute?"

"Freakingly evil."

You elbowed him but regretted it the moment he grimaced with pain.

"What's wrong?" you asked, albeit you immediately guessed another injury under his brown jumper.

He forced a smile. "You just proved my point."

"I didn't even hit you that hard!"

"You tell yourself that," Remus stood up, nodding simultaneously. "That's enough for today."

"Already? You sure you okay?" you worried a bit, standing up. "It's only been forty minutes."

"For you, lazy lady. I've been here for an hour, remember?"

"Go on, rub it in, or I won't hear the end of it until tomorrow."

You two were walking to the exit now with relaxed paces.

"Yeah, about that. I won't be able to study with you tomorrow."

You inhale a deep breath and huff it out.

Here goes nothing.

"Again?"

"Yes," his voice is rusty now.

"Why?"

"Marauders thing."

Same excuse as the last month.

You didn't say anything, giving him one more chance again.

"That's bollocks, Remus."

Remus simply curved a side of his lips to a tiny smile, almost unnoticeable to anyone. Well, anyone but you.

However, you were too irritated to mellow at his smile.

Only for one day, you didn't see him, and he had a new scar, and what a coincidence that the same day was a full moon.

"You really shouldn't curse."

"What truly happened to your arm?"

"Sirius accidentally cut it," he said for the third time that day.

"Stop lying."

Maybe you were wrong to push him like this, but you didn't care at that moment.

"I'm not lying, Y/N," he said before grabbing both his and your books and pressing them between his left arm and torso. "Let's go, we have class in ten."

When you didn't budge, his smile grew, and he stretched his free hand towards you.

"Come on, move your arse. We'll be late."

"You shouldn't curse," you said firmly, trying to look as angry as you could. You were on your limit and had no intention of backing off this time. "And I'm not coming with you."

"Why is that?" he pulled his outstretched hand back to the pocket of his trousers, wearing a soft expression, which his mocking tone contrasted with.

"You know why."

"I'm afraid I don't know why you are not coming to class."

"I will go to class, just not with you," you scowled at his nonchalance.

He pressed his lips into a thin line.

"And why is that?"

"Because I've decided that I'm not talking to you."

"That's not fair."

"Yes, it is," you snapped, standing before him. You waited a few minutes for something, eyes narrowed. When Remus chuckled at your annoyed expression, you walked past him, hitting him with your shoulder.

Striding to the common room's exit, you ignored Remus's call. Only after leaving his sight, you fathomed that you had left your book with him but shrugged it off. You two always sat next to each other, and Remus was too nice of a friend not to bring it back.

"Hey, angry lady." his playfully soft tone danced in your ear, making your heart flutter in your ribcage.

"Go away."

"We're headed to the same class."

"Go away from me, then."

"I'm carrying your book."

"No one asked you to," you still hadn't spared him a glance but could feel the soft smile on his lips.

"No one needed to. I'm a gentleman."

"My arse."

"What about it?"

Your head snapped in his direction. Remus was smirking at you, acting like you weren't almost about to fight ten minutes ago.

You walked into the classroom from the door Remus held open for you straight to your seat.

"Give me my book back."

"You forgot the magic word, lady," he sat next to you. "You know, the one starting with 'P'."

"Petrificius Totalus?"

"That would also work, but I had something nicer in mind. Try again?"

"Periculum."

"What would you need the flames for?"

"To burn you."

"You're so violent this morning. Hadn't had your morning coffee?"

"Just give the bloody book back."

"Now that I think about it, you've been violent for the last three days."

You groaned when the professor started the lesson.

"Don't be bitter, Y/N," he pleaded, watching you snatch your book back. He hated when you were angry at him. "I already told you the truth."

"That's rubbish, and you know that," you whispered so the professor wouldn't hear you. "We're not twelve anymore."

"You were a lot nicer when you were twelve, though."

"And a lot stupider."

"Aye. You'll hear no argument from me."

You knew he was merely attempting to lighten the mood, but he didn't realise it only made you more furious.

"Why are you keeping a secret from me?" you finally blurted out the question gnawing on your insides.

Remus's smile ebbed. He exhaled sharply before turning away from you.

"I am not keeping anything from you."

"Then you must think I am gullible because that's the only explanation for you repeating the same 'prank injuries' lie over and over again."

"That's not a lie."

"Is there a problem?"

You clenched your jaw when you heard the professor's rough voice.

"No, Professor," Remus shook his head, ending the chatter.

You didn't talk for the rest of the lesson. However, to your frustration, you couldn't help but sneak glances in his direction only to find him doing the same.

The moment the class was dismissed, you immediately got up and left the room. The last half an hour in the boring potion class made you question some things. You were at odds with yourself.

And now, in the middle of the hallway, with your books to your chest, your mind was hosting a party for questions.

Was it really about you? Maybe no.

Did Remus deserve some secrecy? Maybe yes.

Did your infatuation with your best friend get in the way of your judgement? Breaking your heart not because he had a secret he didn't want to share but because he didn't love you back? No, of course not (It did).

But you deserved his trust. At least, that was how you were feeling based on the years of friendship.

Were you wrong? Probably.

"Y/N!"

You took a deep breath and blew it out as you turned to face Remus, who quickened his pace to catch up to you. He's smiling. Again.

"What?"

"You still pissed at me?"

"Yes? No? I don't know, Remus," you shrugged and carried on walking to the Great Hall. "I don't understand why you won't share it with me. Don't you trust me?"

"I do," he drawled, and you waited for him to continue. He hesitated at first but gave up after your determination not to make a sound.

"Listen, it's not something about you. I just don't like sharing it."

"Does James know? Sirius? Peter?" you arched a brow, desperately hoping for him to say no. You watched him he open his mouth and close it without a reply.

Well, that was it.

He didn't want to tell you, and you were supposed to be okay with it.

You nodded, hurt at something you didn't want to voice.

Remus stopped you from your arm, turning you so that you would face him. His hands made their way to your sulked shoulders and caressed them back to your hands to hold them tight, sending shivers through your body.

"When the time is right, I will tell you," he said. You looked up into his brown eyes, forcing yourself not to peek at his lips. You had always loved his eyes, and his lips.

"I promise. Just trust me."

You lowered your head, closing your eyes to the pleading in his words.

"I just don't understand why you don't trust me."

Remus stepped forward, letting your head lay on his chest.

"I told you, dove. This is not about you. Truly."

You knew it too.

You knew the reason you were so angry was not Remus but your love for him.

You knew you were not resenting Remus but your own inability to suppress your feelings.

So you nodded, hugging him back.

"What do you smell?" you asked Remus, trying not to sound too eager or excited. You were hoping he couldn't hear your racing heart and couldn't see your trembling hands.

Remus inclined his head to the potion, taking in the smell the Amortentia was radiating.

One, two, tree...

He frowned, looking lost. He clenched his jaw, blinking fast. Something must be wrong.

Six, seven, eight...

He cleared his throat, locking his eyes with yours.

Twelve, thirteen, fourteen...

Remus straightened his back, curling the side of his lips upwards awkwardly.

"What do you smell?"

You gulp, lips parting and then closing and then parting again. You weren't sure it was the right thing to tell him what you smelled from the love potion.

Parchment, coffee, melting chocolate.

Everything that reminded you of him.

"I asked you first."

You sounded taut, internally having a fight between your heart and your brain over the control of your body, mind, and soul.

You didn't know what you wanted to hear from him exactly, but what you did know was that you were praying for it to be something, anything that would remind him of you.

"It's- it's nice," he simply said.

"Mine, too."

"What is it?" he asked, his voice so low that if you weren't so close to him, you wouldn't hear him from all the chatters in the classroom.

You longed to tell him.

Tell him and get it over with. Put down the weighing affection in your shoulders, your lungs and your heart, even if it meant having it broken.

You looked up at him, biting your lower lip so hard it almost bled.

Remus waited and waited and waited for you.

"It's uhm, it's parchment... and uh,-"

"Mr Lupin, are you two done with your potions?

You quickly put a distance between you and Remus. Professor Slughorn stood by the pot, smelling the potion.

"Ah, you are. Well done, you two."

You refused to turn back to Remus, your eyes examining every student in the classroom as Remus cleaned the desk.

James Potter was grinning at Lily Evans, who, in turn, had an unreadable expression on her face. You hoped Lily had smelled James; it would make your friend foolishly happy.

It was a bit chaotic in the room; happy, angry, sad and confused faces were scattered around. A student had even managed to blow up his potion somehow.

You saw Sirius and wondered what he had smelled, but soon your thoughts took a turn when you noticed Sirius was not alone. He was muttering something to Severus Snape with a devilish grin on his face.

"You guys have another prank coming?" you asked Remus, your eyes not leaving Sirius.

You didn't see Remus flinch and almost drop the knife.

"No? Why?"

"Oh, nothing. Then Sirius must be messing with Snape for his own amusement."

Remus hummed softly.

"I love James and Sirius, but was this really necessary?"

It was cold, and you were freezing, not because you had clothed lightly but because it was seven in the morning and in the middle of winter. Remus, seated next to you, was in no better condition. All because your friends insisted you watch them fly around on a broom.

"Well, he had said we were a great support."

"Do I look like any kind of support at this moment?" your teeth were starting to chatter. You closed your eyes at Remus's chuckle, hoping, wishing and praying that you would never forget its sweet melody.

"You look anything but."

You laughed at his words, totally oblivious, his gaze lingering on your smile.

"When is even this game?"

"In two weeks, that's the only thing Pads and Prongs talk about. Where's your head at?"

"I usually tune them out. They're disturbingly loud."

James screamed loudly at Sirius; you threw an 'I told you so' glance at Remus, who rolled his eyes in return. You liked when he did that.

"Try living in the same dorm room with them."

"Must not be fun since you're carrying the scars of the battle in your body."

"And in my soul," he nodded swiftly several of times. You adored the way his brown locks messed into each other, still looking fluffy. "Are you cold?"

"No, I'm sweating," you snarked, peeking at Remus. Maybe you were wrong because he definitely appeared more decent than you were. He beamed at you, sneaking in closer, his leg brushing yours.

Without further ado, he pulled his arm over your shoulder, tugging you to his chest. Your breath hitched as his scent filled your mind.

You hated how your heart reacted every time you were this close to him; a hand away to hold his hand, a breath away to kiss his lips-

"Better now?"

You pushed the image deep into your mind, heat blossoming in your chest, colouring your cheeks.

"Cheers."

The next you-don't-know-how-many minutes later, the practice was over, and the players were now descending to the ground. Remus hadn't let go of you yet, not that you wanted him to.

You watched as James and Sirius joked around, Peter joining them later on.

"Hey, lovebirds! Come down!" James yelled, his hands around his mouth.

You raised your head to see Remus frowning at them before smiling at you, which you returned shortly as you stepped out of his warm embrace.

"Who's hungry?" James asked as you two also joined them and answered before anyone else could. "I am. Let's eat."

"Evans still won't tell me what she smelled in Amortentia."

"Drop it, mate. If she wanted to tell, she would've," Sirius slapped James's back before stepping into the Great Hall before everyone.

"If you push her, she might get irritated, you know," you reasoned with James, albeit you knew it was in vain.

"With me? Impossible, I'm lovely."

"Not to her, apparently."

"Not everyone has a Moony around to cuddle, Y/N."

Peter snorted and dodged the hit from Remus's hand.

"What? James, that's not even relevant!" you hid the crimson of your checks with feigned annoyance, refusing to glance at Remus.

"It doesn't have to be relevant," he shrugged, grinning ear to ear. You shook your head, grabbed a toast and didn't see Remus arch a brow at James.

"Where's Sirius?" Peter asked, making all of you turn around.

"He was there a minute ago, was he not?" you questioned, aimed mainly at James. If there was only one person you could ask about Sirius, and he would have an answer, he was James.

Obviously, not this time because James simply shrugged.

You were jealous. You had never been jealous over Remus until now.

You knew Lily Evans was his good friend, you liked her too, and you knew Remus would never even think about her in that way.

But still, you couldn't help but feel like you were on the edge of a cliff, waiting for someone to push you every time Lily would put her hand on Remus's hand, grazing the tiny cut lightly with her thumb. Your heart was a target to all sorts of knives when you heard Remus chuckle at Lily's words.

You couldn't help but wonder if she knew Remus's secret.

"Jealousy is not a good look on you, Y/N," Sirius cut your thoughts short.

"I don't know what you're talking about," you dismissed him with a shake of your head, pulling your gaze from Remus to the potion top. "Did you add the Powdered Root of Asphodel?"

Remus had always told you that you were the girl closest to him, and it would always stay like this. But you couldn't get rid of the doubts in your mind you were so certain that were emerging because of your feelings.

"Yes, stir twice clockwise," Sirius started working on Sopophorous bean juice. "I'm talking about Moony."

"What about him?" you bit down your lip and hoped your voice didn't shake when Remus's nickname startled your train of thought. How you loved that nickname...

"Others may be oblivious but don't be ridiculous, I see how you stare at him."

You didn't know how to reply to that claim, so you kept silent but turned your eyes to the long-haired boy. He smiled at you as if an encouragement, which almost crumbled your defences. You were on the verge of giving out.

Would it be bad if there was at last a person to share your feelings with?

"So, is it a monthly 'I fancy him' situation or..?"

"Something more," you finished for him, earning a croon. Here, you had said it with no guarantee that he would keep your secret but with the hope that he would help you carry the burden.

"Am I that transparent?"

"Only when you're jealous, love."

You nodded, smiling a little.

Sirius watched the way you were picking the skin around your nails.

"Hey, stop worrying. I'll tell no one."

Relief had hugged you at that moment, thankful that Sirius took your feelings lightly and didn't make a big deal out of it. Also, happy that you weren't alone anymore in this secret; you had someone capable of understanding.

"Sirius?"

"Mhm?"

"Do you think he'll ever...love me back?"

He sighed, drying his hands. You felt his hands on yours, returning the gesture.

"You know Moony, he doesn't talk about feelings," you laughed bitterly, placing your head on his shoulder. "But he is a plonker if he never returns your feelings, and I'll make sure he gets a new scar if he ever hurts them."

"Thank you, Pads," you melt into his hug as you feel his arms around your waist.

"You smell of strawberries," he took a strand of your hair into his hand, sniffing it. "What shampoo are you using?"

"Stop smelling me like a dog!" you pushed him away, giggling when he gasped in fake hurt. "Focus, we still have to finish that potion."

Sirius carried on with his Sopophorous bean, and you looked around for a sloth brain.

"Did you forget the sloth brain?"

"I thought you were going to get it," Sirius shrugged, looking up. "Moony and Evans have one more. Go and grab from them."

You glanced at the pair, noticing that Remus was already staring at you. He didn't budge when you smiled at him and changed his focus back to Lily.

Red hair, green eyes, dainty freckles and graceful stature. Why did she have to be this beautiful?

You sauntered to their seat, passing near a bunch of students that were requiring the Professor's attention. Remus refused to look up to you when Lily offered you a kind smile.

"Hey, Remus, do you mind sharing an ingredient with me and Sirius?"

"You don't have it?" his tone was not kind, and his eyes were cold.

"I thought he was supposed to take it, but it turns out he thought I would take it," you mumbled real quick, still not fathoming the reason behind his coldness. "So here we are."

"You guys were pretty out of it. How do you even manage to get the job done?"

"We are doing fine," you frown. What was wrong with him?

"Yeah, I saw."

"Are you going to let us borrow the ingredient, or should I ask James and Pete?"

His gaze finally changed into something you couldn't quite name. He turned to Lily, who was trying her best not to pry.

"We won't need the spare," she consented in an instant. Remus dashed to the other side of the desk, clutching the jar and dashing back to you.

"Thank you," you mumbled as you clasped it in your hand. He merely nodded one time before carrying on with whatever he was doing.

You could swear you heard Lily whisper to him, 'What the bloody hell is wrong with you?' before parting, but you ignored it.

You couldn't find Sirius when you were back, so you finished the last steps of the potion on your own. He didn't pop up when the Professor checked the work or when he dismissed the class.

"Why are you pissed at me?"

"Moony is pissed at you?" James hopped in as you made your seat next to Remus, who was busy with his meal.

"Yes–"

"I'm not."

You stared at him in disbelief and bemusement.

"You certainly are. Now tell me why."

When Remus looked at you, a smile inched his lips up though his eyes were still grumpy.

"Where's Sirius?" he asked.

"I-I don't know," your head sought him out, giving out in confusion. "How is he any relevant?"

You ignored James muttering, 'You really do like that word, huh?' as your eyes desperately tried to understand why Remus was being weird. But instead of an appropriate reason, all you got was a shrug.

You shook your head in dissatisfaction and stretched your arm for the pumpkin juice. Seeing your attempts, Remus's hand had already grabbed it and now was pouring the juice for you.

"Thank you," you whispered before clearing your throat. "So, we'll study together in the library again, right? Now that you're not 'angry'?"

Remus shook his head when you drew quotation marks with your fingers in the air.

"Today, yes. Not tomorrow, though."

You quelled the rising anger and heartbreak in your heart. In a trice, you twisted in your seat, facing James.

"What are your plans for tomorrow?"

He was taken aback by your sudden query. By the state of his full mouth and the bread crumbs around his lips, you figured out that he wasn't paying the slightest attention to you and Remus.

"Quidditch practice before breakfast?"

"In the evening, I mean."

"We're supposed to–"

"I wasn't talking to you, Remus."

Remus pursed his lips, cursing himself for not talking to James that morning. James's face crinkled in bafflement.

"I am supposed to finish my star chart with Sirius."

You nodded and glowered back at your best friend. James made a face at Remus behind your back as if asking what was going on.

"You don't take Astrology, Remus."

"I'll study with Lily tomorrow," he said, and you froze.

You were supposed to study together. You and Remus. Together. Like the way it had always been.

He wasn't supposed to study with the prettiest girl in the house. The graceful girl with a delicate smile and silky fire-kissed hair.

You didn't know when or how the familiar burn in your chest surged up, but you recognised what it was. You welcomed the acute sharpness of its thorns and the way it cut through your heart.

"Oi! Why didn't you tell me that? I could've finished the chart earlier and joined you!"

You tuned out James's protest. You wished you could tune out Remus mumbling to him, 'We decided in the potions.' too. But if there was one thing you could never turn a deaf ear to, it was Remus's voice; soft yet stern, melancholic yet hopeful. You wanted to tattoo the tune into your brain the way it was engraved into your heart.

You heard Remus call your name. You hated the way you loved your name from his lips. He had always chanted your name so gently, like an incantation, caressing your soul's most hidden-away parts.

"Yes?"

"I couldn't say no to Lily," he said apologetically.

"Yes, of course," you rose from your seat, offering Remus a smile you hoped covered the hurt behind your eyes. "I understand."

"Where you going?" he attempted to grab you by your wrist, but you were agile. You snatched your wrist away unobtrusively.

"I'm going to look for Sirius."

"Hiya, love," Sirius greeted you at the curtail step of the Grand Staircase. You had looked for him in the castle, but you stumbled on him when you finally gave up and decided to head to the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Where were you? I couldn't find you close to the end of the potions," you asked him, feeling a bit better now that you're out of Remus's company.

He shrugged, denying you the answer.

"You, too, Pads?" you stopped your steps, making Sirius do the same. He looked confused.

"I, too, what?"

"Somehow, I never get an answer to any of my questions these days, and it's bloody frustrating," you blurted out the grudge that had made home in you within a breath.

"Someone's getting ready to throw a strop," his mocking tone brought you to your senses. You pouted, sighing away the anger and resentment building up in your core.

"Don't sulk, love," he said as he dropped a hand on your shoulder, which impeded your movement on the stairs. "If it is any consolation, I have a problem with Snape."

"What problem?"

"You remember our last prank on him, right?" he smiled sheepishly. He continued when you nodded. "Right, so he may or may not have been trying to get back at me for it."

"So you two have been fighting like two little third-years for the last week?"

"Uh-huh," you rolled your eyes when he showed you his ridiculously white teeth. "I'm setting the ground for something big, but can't tell you, so don't ask."

"Fine."

"Your turn."

"It's silly," you cringed at the thought. Everything always made sense in your head until it was time to actually voice them.

"Good. Then we'll have a laugh. Come on, now," Sirius squeezed your arm as reassurance.

"Remus is a liar. Sometimes..." you purposely left out the once-in-a-month fact, "He stands me up, saying it's a Marauders thing-"

You held your hand up to interrupt Sirius, who was about to back up his friend.

"Don't. It is a lie. I know something is going on, and I have speculations, I'm not stupid, Sirius–"

"Never said you were."

"And it's okay, you know? We talked about it, and he told me he needed time, and I didn't argue. But now he tells me he isn't gonna study with me because he promised Lily, and I know it's an excuse because he couldn't use the 'Marauders thing' lie this time–"

"Don't forget to breathe."

"It's just...she's pretty and smart and–"

"In love with Prongs."

"You don't know that."

"No, but she will be, and you don't even need to worry about Evans. She's just a good friend of Moony."

You exhale heavily, begging for your endeavours to suppress the ache in your throat to work.

Yes, she was a good friend of Remus. But you're supposed to be his best friend.

Howbeit, more importantly, what was muddling you was the thought that Lily knew Remus's secret.

"I know, Pads. I just can't help it."

Sirius said the password to your common room and gave you the way first.

"You should talk to him, you know," he said as you threw yourself onto a sofa.

"And tell him that I'm ridiculously jealous because of his friendship with Evans, yeah?"

You smiled at Sirius's laugh. "I pity you, love."

You pitied yourself, too.

You grimaced when you felt the metallic taste of blood. Pulling your teeth from your lips, you pushed them together so the blood on them would dry.

You've been pacing around your dorm room, contemplating whether to get down to the library.

Part of you yearned for Remus's presence, while the other part wanted to avoid him forever, not ready to face and voice your thoughts to him. You knew he never left any quarrel unsolved, never letting you stay upset.

Ultimately, your love for him overwhelmed your resentment, and before you knew it, you grabbed your book and ambled down the stairs.

Your knuckles were white from clutching the book hard when you entered the empty library. The only thing you could think about was if Remus was going to be there.

And he was.

He raised his head from his book the moment you crossed his sight, brown eyes full of different emotions that you couldn't sort.

You chose to ignore how his leg was bouncing and how his hair was way messier than usual.

He softly smiled at you when you sat next to him. You smiled back.

You hoped maybe he would act like everything was alright and you wouldn't have to think about your feelings.

But you inhaled sharply when he didn't.

"We're fighting a lot these days," he said, looking at your fingers rather than your eyes. "I hate it when we fight."

"We didn't fight."

"It may not be a fight, but," he took your hands into his, "I know you're hurt."

When you kept silent, he took this as his cue to go on.

"I'm sorry, dove. I should've known it would hurt your feelings to stand up our evening studies."

"You know well that it is not the matter," you said, pulling your hands back. "Stop acting like you don't."

"I'm going to need you to be more specific."

Dozens of questions raced through your mind, but you only managed to ask the one tearing you apart with jealousy. You pushed to voice that screamed at you, saying 'you're being too blunt' back in its place.

"Does Lily know your secret?"

Remus sighed. He parted his lips and then pushed them back together. You fathomed that he was getting irritated from the twitch of his hand.

"I thought we agreed that you wouldn't bring this up again–"

"Does she?"

"She does."

"You told her."

"She figured it out herself," he arched his brow at you eloquently. You despised the meaning behind that expression. It mocked you, claiming that you were not as bright as another.

"Of course, she did," You turned your side to him and opened the cover of your book. Little did he know you had figured everything, too. Except, you waited for his confiding.

"Alright, that's it," Remus shut the cover back to regain your attention. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What?"

"Y/N, you've been picking fights for the last bloody month. And I try, I really, really try to be patient but I don't understand what your problem is."

Your face wrinkled in confusion.

"Remus, what are you talking about? We were fine until this morning."

Remus held back for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Maybe. But we're having the exact bloody conversation every once a month, and it's getting on my nerves."

This was the last straw for you. Getting on his nerves?

You had been patient with him since the day you became friends.

You had been understanding towards him every time he pushed you away when he was upset and pulled you back for support.

You had been gentle with him every time he snapped at you before full moons and every time he broke your heart after full moons.

And you had been loving him for the last five years, first as your friend, then as a boy, despite his flaws, blemishes and imperfections.

And now he couldn't even handle your resentment?

Anger climbed its way to your chest, burning down every wall you've ever built to keep your heart's secrets hidden away.

Words were scattered across your mind, ready for you to use them as your weapon against the pain havocing in your soul.

You couldn't keep anything in anymore.

"You know what's getting on my nerves, Remus? You being a liar–"

"I am a liar?"

"Yes. Yes, you fucking are. You have been lying to me for the last five years, and I've been bloody patient.

You think you're being patient? Well, try being best friends with yourself. Someone who lies to you, keeps secrets from you, but tells you you're his best friend, and then fucking repeats everything again."

"I asked you to give me time!"

"And I did! I've been understanding towards you and acted dumb every time you gave me nonsense excuses like you did today."

Remus shook his head.

"You're being selfish."

"I am being selfish?" your eyes widened in disbelief. He truly had the gall to call you selfish after five years of his lies, excuses, and your espousing only for his sake.

"It's not always about you, you know. I just wanted to spend some time with Lily tomorrow, it's not an excuse."

You sniggered, awed by the way he could lie so easily.

"How come even Evans knows you better than me?!"

Remus clenched his jaw and rose up to his feet. You knew he was trying his best to keep himself collected, not to take out the anger on you, but you had had enough. You looked up to the veins popping up on his neck from your seat when he raised his voice.

"She figured everything out herself! It's not my fault that you can't do that!"

"So, now I have to try to solve you out by myself? That's not how friendships work, Remus! You're supposed to trust me-"

"No! I don't have to do anything! I've had fucking enough. I don't owe anyone anything, including you. Remus this, Remus that. Everyone has something they want from Remus. Everyone rubs their so-called favours and sacrifices into my face, always demanding something in return-"

"I've never even once harped on anything I did for you! I only wanted you to open up to me-"

"And the only thing I asked from you was patience! Fucking patience!" he dashed at you, grabbing you by the sides. "But here you are, bringing up the same bloody thing every month like a broken record! So yes, you are the most selfish girl I've ever met!"

His words cut through your heart like a sword, the same sword you had placed in his hand.

You looked at his dilated pupils and how they almost swallowed the gentleness of the brown you always loved.

You blinked the tears away that were threatening to invade your vision and swallowed the lump in your throat down.

Patience, he had said. Time, he had said. You were selfish, he had said.

An unfamiliar surge of acrimony washed you down, anger flaming in your chest. Its white flames swallowed your love for the boy whole, echoing his words from nothingness.

You pushed him away as hard as you could. He tottered a few steps back, eyes softening at your raged visage. In a blink, you were up from your seat and closed the distance between you two.

"You want patience? I have been patient when you let everyone in but me. I've been patient when you pushed me away in the second year after learning about your father. When you snapped at me for worrying about you. When you yelled at me because I wanted to touch the scar on your face."

Remus parted his lips, but you held your hand to stop him from talking. With every sentence, your tone was soaring, the tears were prickling your eyes, and you had let go.

"Don't interrupt me! I'm not done. I gave you time when you got 'sick' every month and didn't let me see you or when you cried in my lap but refused to talk to me later. I gave you time when you didn't speak to me for days because you were angry and when you lied to me every month because you didn't trust me enough!

You want time and patience?!

I have given you my time and patience for the last five years and have been loving you for the past three, Remus! So don't you ever dare to call me selfish!"

You snapped your mouth shut, letting the wave of fury and relief wash over you. Remus's eyes changed into something new, something you had never learned about him.

Only then did a stronger feeling hit you: dread.

You had confessed your love for him.

His eyes were heavy with emotion, the crease between the brows still reminding you of his anger, while the benign brown lit up the hope inside your soul.

"You what?" a whisper left his mouth, so low that you wouldn't be able to hear it if it wasn't dead silence in the library.

You didn't repeat yourself. You didn't even reply to him. You simply turned away and dashed out of the library.

xxxxx

When you woke up the next morning, all you could think about was that it was a full moon today.

You didn't think it would be a good idea to see Remus today, but you were worried about him. You wished to know how he was, where he was, and how he would endure this night. Would he have new scars the following day? Or a headache? Did he love you back?

So many questions and not enough answers.

James and Sirius were in the Quidditch practice, probably Remus and Peter as an audience. You had decided not to join them this time, trying to drown the chaos in your mind with homework instead. Or maybe you were too embarrassed to acknowledge Remus.

Anyhow, one can only tolerate writing an essay to one point.

You slapped your book shut, groaning to yourself when you relived your last memory with Remus. Yesterday was the reason why you hated being angry; you would either cry or lose control of your mouth. And since you had bone both of them in one evening, you were planning on rotting in your room. However, your short span of attention was not helping. With every sentence you managed to put together, Remus's brown eyes would pop up in your mind.

You glanced at the weather; grey clouds and chilly wind. Who would even want to be outside in this weather?

James (and maybe you).

You shook your head and decided that maybe rotting yourself until everyone would forget about your existence was not a good plan, as it was getting boring. Checking the time, you smiled because the Quidditch practice should be finished by now. Thus, you got up and left your dorm room. If only you could make it out of the common room without being seen by Remus.

Sauntering down the stairs, you slowed your steps. Before revealing yourself, you checked the common room and saw James and Peter laughing. No Remus or Sirius. You wondered if Remus told them about your love confession. You hoped not.

Stopping into the room, you made your way to them, putting on a genuine smile. You tried to suppress the anxiety rising in your throat and reminded yourself that these boys were your friends.

"Look who's here," James narrowed his eyes at you. "The traitor."

"I missed only one practice, James."

"He and Sirius are way more dramatic today. James almost asked Evans to marry him this morning."

"Seems like a normal morning, Pete," you said, even though you couldn't help but chuckle. "Where's Sirius, though?"

"He went to see his brother. Said he'll be back in ten minutes or something."

You hummed at James, pushing your lips together.

"And Remus?"

"With Evans, I wager."

The familiar burn in your chest resurfaced.

"I'll go find Sirius. See you guys later."

"You have a death wish, I see?"

You jumped at Sirius's voice. As opposed to what you said to James and Peter, you didn't go looking for Sirius. Instead, you were strolling around the castle yard. You liked how the frigid air sent shivers down your spine, it was refreshing. And you, without a doubt, needed refreshment.

"How'd you know?"

"You're walking around in nothing but your sweater?"

You smiled and shrugged, waiting for him to catch up to you. When he did, he removed his black leather and placed it on your shoulders. You caught the burn on his hand.

"What happened to your hand?"

Sirius glanced at his hand shortly and yanked it back into the pocket of his trousers.

"Ah. Nothing. Snape and I had a little duel just now."

"Sirius, this is getting out of hand. You need to stop."

"Yeah, don't worry. It's going to end tonight."

Your heart dropped.

"What do you mean?"

He burst into laughter, worrying you more.

"I'm going to scare the hell out of that prick, he'll never dare touch me again."

You attempted a smile, though you weren't sure it came out smooth.

"What do you mean?"

Sirius turned to you, patting your arm with his fist. "Don't worry about it. Tell me what made you take a walk in such weather."

Now you were both worried and uncomfortable. Embarrassment was burning your ears up, making you wish that the ground would split in two and swallow you whole. However, you decided to bury the worries and awkwardness. You deserved someone listening to you, after all, so you shared everything with him.

After a few gasps and woahs, you quietened while Sirius was contemplating what to say and how to say it.

"You haven't seen him since?"

You shook your head no.

"Well, he was grumpy this morning, but I don't think it's related to you."

Yet, you were certain that it was related to you.

He was grumpy because he was angry at you. He was grumpy because he didn't return your feelings, and you made him uncomfortable by confessing them. He was grumpy because you just shattered your friendship. Or maybe he was grumpy because it was a full moon.

"I think he hates me now."

Sirius snorted at your declaration. "You're one hell of an overthinker, aren't you?"

When you didn't reply, he pushed you with his side softly, "Hey, come on, it's Moony we're talking about. He can never hate you."

"You can't possibly know that."

"Yes, I can. Remember in the third grade how he literally hated all of us for burning his paper?"

"I mean, he wasn't exactly wrong. We did destroy two weeks' work."

"Exactly. He rained hell upon us for a month. Well, most of us. He didn't touch you, and whenever we would ask him why, he would hit us before saying, 'It would hurt her feelings'."

You smiled at the thought of thirteen years old Remus coddling you.

"I didn't know that."

"You don't know why James changed his wand last year in the middle of the semester, either."

"I thought he broke it."

"Nah, Moony broke it."

Your eyebrows shot up in bewilderment, amusing Sirius. He nodded before resuming to talk.

"James had a brilliant idea to cast a spell on you that would twist your tongue every time you talked. Remus wanted to waver him from it, but he was stubborn, that bastard. So before he could cast the spell, Remus broke his wand in our dorm and made it look like an accident to James."

Your smile grew wider, your eyes tearing up from intense emotions. Remus always knew about your anxiety, and he had always cared enough to help you through it. Whenever you would fidget with your fingers because you were about to give a big speech, he would put his hand on yours to calm them down. Whenever you would sweat because the professor was criticising you in front of the whole class, he would touch his knee to yours to let you know he was there. Whenever someone would make fun of you, he would be the first one to stand up for you.

"I didn't know he had it in him."

"Oh, he has a lot more in him when you are the matter," Sirius side-hugged you, letting you lean in. "You can ask him if you want."

You frowned, about to ask him what he meant but stopped in your tracks when your eyes sorted Remus from the other side of the yard. He was with Lily. Before you could ask Sirius to return to the castle, he yelled from the top of his lungs to make himself heard.

"Oi! Moony!"

"What are you doing?!" you whisper-shouted at Sirius, who was dragging you to Remus's side.

"You can't avoid him forever."

As you got closer and closer to his side, your heart picked up the pace. You didn't feel ready to talk to him today. You were sure you wouldn't be ready tomorrow either.

Lily waved at you two when you made it to their side. You noticed the bags under Remus's eyes and his bouncing leg. You refused to lock your gaze, focusing on Lily's glorious smile. Still, you could feel his burning gaze piercing your heart.

You had tuned out their talking, alerting your mind only to Remus's presence. You didn't hear Lily's giggle or Sirius's mocking tone; you didn't even care what they were talking about.

You only cared that Remus was bouncing his leg, snapping his fingers and rubbing his temple.

You longed to put your hand on his leg to calm it down, hold his hand so that he would stop hurting them, and kiss his temple so maybe it would tender the ache.

Your heart was burning up in your chest, clenching in agony. The agony of being so close and yet so far away from him.

Every tune around you was muffled, slave to even a whisper from Remus, but he wasn't making a single sound.

You had lost count of how many heartbeats were beating in your chest, wasting time by beating away from Remus's heart.

Suddenly, they stopped.

"I have to go," said Remus.

His hoarse tone shattered everything into nothing.

He got up from Lily's side and walked back into the castle. You didn't follow him.

You missed his voice.

The weather was dark and still cold. You clung to Sirius's jacket more tightly. He hadn't asked for it back and said he would take it from you tomorrow.

You should return to the common room; it was neither safe nor clever to wander around at night. And you did. You turned around and started striding to the castle, only to flinch when you saw a figure exiting it.

It was hard for you to distinguish the person, so you followed him. You waited for the light of the full moon to reveal the silhouette's identity to you. You bit down your lip when you saw Severus Snape sauntering towards the Whomping Willow.

He must've lost his mind.

Your heart fastened with Severus's every step, dread of what was about to come sending tremors down your body. Your fingers itched in anticipation.

You hid behind a bush and watched him with terror. It was dark at night. It was a full moon. You were near the Whomping Willow.

Why did you even follow Snape?

When he finally crossed the safe proximity, the tree started moving. Your hand covered your mouth, your eyes unable to blink.

You waited for the tree to frantically shake and sway its branches. You waited for it to injure Severus or maybe even kill him.

But it didn't.

The moment it started to move an inch, it stopped. You thought maybe Snape had cast a spell; you could only see his back.

He slowly approached the tree, disappearing into a hole under it.

You rose to your feet and took a few steps towards the tree. You felt uncomfortably vulnerable at that moment, standing out in the open where you could get attacked by every side and wouldn't even be able to prevent it.

What if the tree starts moving when you're near?

Where did Snape go?

Should you even be here?

If there was only one question you knew the answer to, it was the last one.

You wanted to return to the castle and forget about all this in the morning. You truly did. However, you figured that there was no turning back when you heard a howl and a scream coming from the hole.

You jumped back with fear, oblivious to the yelp that left you.

Your first instinct was to run. Run away as fast as you could, without looking back, but something deep in your conscience didn't let you flee.

What if Snape was alone out there, and he needed help?

What if he was injured?

You cursed under your breath and took one more step towards the tree.

Your heart was pounding in your ear, competing with the sound of the howl down on the ground. You convinced yourself that it was the fear that made the howling sound closer than before.

One, two, three.

You exhaled sharply and started running to the hole.

You prayed that the tree wouldn't move.

Your legs made a stop before you could fathom what was happening.

More than one figure emerged from the ground, but your eyes only saw the big, ugly beast. Moonlight was glistening through its thick grey fur, displaying a horrendous sight. The tawny glow in its eyes was impossible to miss, as well as its tall and scrawny bone structure. The snarls from the beast were threatening to change into something more dangerous.

Snape was screaming. You could swear you heard James, your name or maybe your own scream too.

However, your eyes never left the beast.

You had seen it in the pictures. You knew what it was.

A werewolf.

Remus.

And it was planning to attack Severus.

Your Remus.

You took out your wand, not even once looking away from the beast. Your mind was chasing every charm you've ever chanted, looking for the best one for the situation.

The beast pounced on Snape with a growl.

Snape slumped into the ground.

The beast towered over him, ready to attack.

You aimed your wand at it, screaming the first thing that came to mind.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

You had diverted the beast's attention, presenting an opportunity for James to save Snape.

"No, Y/N!"

When James's cry tore your mind from the shock, you understood that you had made a mistake.

Spells don't work on werewolves.

A gasp left your mouth when the werewolf directed its attention from Severus to you. You didn't see Snape fleeing or James carefully walking to you. All you could see was the icy light in its eyes glaring at you, sending sheer panic down your spine.

You hesitated to make any more sound, no matter how much you wanted to yell James's name for help.

You didn't know how to fight werewolves, no one had ever taught you that. You didn't want to die, either.

The growl from the beast intensified, sending you enough signals that the inevitable was close. With your every step back, it was taking a step forward.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

"Y/N RUN!

And you did.

You ran until your lungs gave out, your legs crippled, and your heart burst.

You ran until your eyes watered from the chilly air, your nose hurt from the sharp breaths, and your ears echoed the beast's growls.

A branch cut just above your cheek, but you didn't stop.

You ran until you lost control of your mind, giving it up to your body, performing purely under adrenalin.

But the beast ran with you, too. It followed you into the forest, howling and growling, letting you know death was close. Letting you know that the screams drowning in the night were in vain. Letting you know that the tears staining your face were in vain.

Your breaths mingled with your screams, your hair getting into your mouth. Sweat and tears melded into each other, burning up the cut on your face.

Before you could understand what had happened, your body hit the cold ground with a thud. Your eyes clenched shut, taking in pain vibrating through you. You felt the soil staining your face and body. Your weeping turned into a shriek when you felt yourself yanked into the dirt on your stomach.

Your eyes widened with fear when you finally fathomed the claw grabbing your ankle. It dragged you back, hoping to get the claws on your throat, too. Your fingers dug into the earth. You fought to free yourself from the beast. The jagged stones on the ground gashed your forearm. The dirt stung the gash. Your blood glistened under the moonlight. The beast howled. It turned you on your back.

Remus, Remus, Remus.

One last cry left you. The beast raised its claws, towering over you.

Remus.

You closed your eyes. The tears didn't stop.

Moony.

A high-pitched whine soared in the sky. You were sure it didn't come from you. Something hit your hip. You opened your eyes.

A stag.

A stag stroke the beast with its horns in the underbelly, tossing it away from you. The stag jumped over you, attacking the werewolf again. Animalistic voices ascended in the middle of the Forbidden Forest.

You crawled behind a large rock and took deep breaths. You knew you had to run. This was your opportunity to flee for your life, but you had exhausted your body. You needed time to recover.

The growls and whines never stopped. They got louder and quieter. Closer and farther. You didn't know.

You raised your head. The Moon was gleaming, casting light your way as if telling you to get going. You couldn't. Not now.

You lowered your head at your hands. They were filthy with dirt, the soil blackening the insides of your nails.Y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶g̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶d̶u̶g̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶e̶a̶r̶t̶h̶. You moved your left arm, checking the backside of your forearm. T̶h̶e̶ ̶j̶a̶g̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶s̶t̶o̶n̶e̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶a̶s̶h̶e̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶e̶a̶r̶m̶. You winced at the scar and the fresh blood around it. Y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶b̶l̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶g̶l̶i̶s̶t̶e̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶u̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶o̶n̶l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶.̶

Without warning, a sob left put your mouth, startling you. You pressed your uninjured hand on your lips, listening around. The voices had stopped. Neither the stag nor the beast was there. You were safe.

Your hands didn't leave your mouth, so terrified that if they did, you would make a noise and lure in the beast again. You knew your body was reacting to the shock and exhaustion, but you despised the tears flooding from your eyes. You needed to get it together and leave the Dark Forest. Albeit the beast was gone, the forest was still dangerous.

You stood up with a groan, not lowering your wand for protection. Your clothes were spoiled, and you were hurting. You looked around to find a familiar way back to the castle.

"Y/N!"

You aimed your wand at the voice, your heart retaking the pace. The voice was familiar, but you were not in the right mind to identify it.

"It's me, hey. Lower your wand," James's gentle voice weakened your muscles, your hand shaking and breath hitching. Relief surged you from head to toe.

You didn't remember when you dropped your wand into the ground and threw yourself into James's warm embrace. You only remembered how he soothed you as you sobbed with exhaustion.

"You alright?" he put a hand on your shoulder and the other on your wrist to check you out after you pulled away from the hug. You nodded, feeling his gaze on your injured arm.

"Where were you?" You didn't recognise your own tone, rasp and brittle.

"Here. With you."

Something hit you in the gut. A realisation twinkled in your mind, finally comprehending the depth of 'Prongs'.

"You were the stag."

He smiled at you. "I knew you were a bright witch."

James Potter being an animagi wasn't the first priority for you tonight.

"What happened to..." you couldn't let out the rest of the sentence. The beast. R̶e̶m̶u̶s̶

"I led it back to the Whomping Willow."

The next moments passed with silence, you two walking together to the castle and James subtly keeping his hand behind your back to make sure you were fine. You relived everything from the beginning, this time making sense of the incidents. You had so many questions and even more feelings gushing in you.

"I don't understand, James."

"Hmh?"

"Why was Snape there? Where were Sirius and Peter?"

You heard James clear his throat. His tone changed from gentle to furious in a moment.

"Sirius told Snape how to get into the Whomping Willow. That bastard thought it would be a good prank. He told me later because he had started to second-guess himself," he retorded, "Peter was also there, you just didn't see him. I sent him to make sure Severus gets into the castle safely."

No.

You shook your head, not believing your ears. This couldn't be what Sirius meant by handling the Snape problem. You didn't want to believe it. Not because you were thinking too highly of Sirius but because you imagined how devastated Remus would be the next morning. You knew how much he trusted his friends.

"Remus..." you muttered under your breath, earning a hum from James that signalled him thinking the same thing.

"Sirius will be in big trouble. I'm sure Snape had already run to Dumbledore."

You turned to James with widened eyes, he talked before you could panic.

"Don't worry. He didn't see me as the stag or see Peter at all. That's why I was belated. I'm sorry I couldn't make it there sooner."

"Thank you for even making it there," you whispered, closing your eyes when the castle entered your sight. You avoided thinking about the possibility that James might not make it in time. What would happen then was something tragedic you never wanted to admit. "Will you see Remus tomorrow morning?"

James looked at you with such intense emotion that you thought he was pitying you.

"I will but–"

"I want to be there with you."

"No, Y/N, listen," he scratched his chin. You stared at him in question.

"I will have to explain everything to Remus tomorrow. And by that," he said, "I mean everything."

"James, I want to–"

"No. I don't want you to be there when I tell him how he almost killed you. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be there either."

"But it's not his fault–"

"That's not what he's going to think in the morning. I'll talk to him alone. Don't insist."

This was the most serious you had ever seen James Potter. Thus, you knew he wasn't going to back down. So, you didn't insist.

By the time you were in the common room, your body had calmed down, now only exhibiting exhaustion symptoms. James hugged you one more time before sending you to your dorm room.

"Shower with warm water and go to bed. I'll be in the common room if you can't sleep."

You wanted to ask him why he didn't go to sleep, but you couldn't even part your lips. So you simply offered him a weak smile and headed straight to the bathroom. The girls in your room were already asleep, meaning you had to be extra careful not to wake them up.

You scoffed at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Frantic hair, shrunk pupils, a cut on your cheek and dirt on your face. As if all these weren't enough, the gash on your arm was throbbing with pain, blood staining your sweater and maybe even Sirius's jacket too.

You stepped into the shower and let the warm water clean you thoroughly. You clenched your teeth to suppress the groan you wanted to let out of pain from your cuts. The black dirt left you as the water stroke down your body, helping you get this night out of your skin.

Your eyes were glued to the dirt getting washed away, harking back to how the beast hauled you onto the ground. Your skin still remembered the burn from the rough friction.

You couldn't close your eyes, you couldn't even blink. Every time you did, a pair of two glistening yellow eyes would stare at you, threatening to hunt you down if you kept your eyes closed a second more. If you thought about the beast a little bit more, you were sure you would have a panic attack.

So you let your mind wander around something else.

Brown locks, chocolate eyes and pink lips.

Your lips curved when you recalled his soft voice, the way he called you dove. You warmed up, and not because of the water but because of the memory of how Remus gently stroked your hair. How he wiped away your tears. How he braided your hair perfectly after begging Peter to teach him. How he had always given you something hand-made on your birthdays because he couldn't buy anything.

You missed him. You missed the gentle smile he was always offering you. You missed your tender bickering and his teasing innuendoes.

You had missed your best friend, and no matter what would happen tomorrow, you were going to talk to him.

You couldn't sleep well that night. You even had a nightmare about what happened.

James was late in the dream; you died in the end.

So you stayed up all night, only being able to dive into sleep when the air was lightening up, turning into sapphire blue. At the same time of the day, Remus was turning back to his human self. You would chuckle at the irony if you weren't sleep deprived.

When you woke up, your heart was hammering in your chest. Your roommate was beside you, a glass of water in her hand. You felt sweat drops in your neck and temple; you must be having another nightmare, then.

She offered you the glass, which you gladly accepted.

"Thank you," you said rather hoarsely.

"It's almost five in the afternoon, hun."

You sat up in your bed, brushing your hair back with your hands. You had a terrible headache.

"It is?"

"Aye. You sure you're alright?"

"Yes, Lizzie, thank you," you smiled at her before leaving the bad. You were both grateful and uneasy that you had missed the most part of the day. This meant that Remus had already learned about the prank.

You eyed yourself in the bathroom mirror. You looked way better than yesterday night, undoubtedly. Your face had gained its colour back, and your frenzied eyes were glistening with something other than horror. The only flaws were the small cut on your face and the new eyebags.

You got ready and went down to the common room. Because it was Sunday today, the common room was crowded with students.

Your eyes searched any of the Marauders but failed. They weren't here, and you were hungry. You made your way to the Great Hall, accompanied by nice growls from your stomach. Fortunately for you, it was dinner time.

You were too focused on the food before to find yourself a seat, so you didn't notice anyone approaching you. You flinched when a kind hand touched your arm.

"Y/N?"

"Oh, hiya Lily."

The red-haired girl smiled at you with emerald eyes. She pointed to a corner around the table with her finger. "Potter asked me to call you."

Your eyes found James, who looked as tired as you but still managed to put on a simpering smile. "Cheers," you said to Lily.

You sat next to him, stuffing your plate. Your stomach growled harder at sight.

"How are you feeling?" James asked, watching you nibble on a toast.

"Have been worse. You?"

"Have been worse."

You knew what you had to ask him, but you also knew you needed your appetite at the moment, or you would starve yourself. So you simply hummed and hastened to finish your meal.

You tried not to think about the two empty seats as you sipped your drink. James and Peter were having small talk, trying to lighten the mood. You didn't listen to that either.

You swallowed your last piece as slowly as possible, delaying the inevitable. James looked at you briefly, and you understood what it meant. He raised from his seat, having you follow him.

When you two found an abandoned corner, you turned to him, tuning out the racing of your heart.

"You didn't sleep, did you?" he pointed under your eyes with a nod of his head. You shook your head.

"Did you talk to him?"

Unfamiliar gloom darkened James's features. "I did. Told him everything."

He glanced at you before averting his eyes away again. "He just listened. Thanked me in the end and said he wanted to be left alone."

Your heart clenched in pain. You didn't want him to be left alone. "Where is he?"

"Dunno. Didn't look for him."

"Where's Sirius?"

James stayed silent for a few seconds. "Dunno, either. We had a fight, but my guess is somewhere in the forest in his animagi form."

You didn't dwell on it any further. You loved Sirius, but you loved Remus more than anyone. Albeit you weren't furious at him, you still didn't plan on seeing him any sooner.

"I need to talk to Remus, James."

"I truly don't know where he is."

You had to find him. You had to find him and tell him that it wasn't his fault.

You nodded at James, mumbling a quick bye before wandering around the castle, trying to figure out where he could be.

He wouldn't go to the library. It would be an easy guess for anyone trying to find him.

James said Sirius would be outside of the castle. You were sure Remus wouldn't risk encountering him.

That left you two or three places that you knew Remus would run whenever he wanted to avoid people. So you got going.

You didn't find him at Room of Requirement or Hospital Tower. You cursed the school for being this large in area. It took you almost an hour to get from one side of the castle to another. Fortunately, you were sure Remus was on the Astronomy Tower.

As you got closer and closer to the tower, anticipation chased your heartbeats high, your hands fidgeting with their fingers. You took a moment to regulate your breathing, which had no effect on your pacing heart.

Without wasting one more moment, you entered the tower.

There he was, sitting on the ground, his head low between his hands. Around him was cold and dark, gleaming with the light from the Moon and stars. Your heart ached at the sight of him. You stepped forward, letting the sound of your footsteps alert him. He didn't acknowledge you, but you were sure he had heard you. Heartbreak burned through you, maiming you because of the distance between you two.

Your steps stopped next to him. He still hadn't looked up to you but hadn't asked you to go away either. So you sat next to him, raising your head to gaze at the stars while his head was low between his hands.

"The stars are beautiful, Remus."

He didn't budge. He didn't even move. You peeked at his chocolate-brown hair, suppressing the urge to mess with them.

"Your hair looks nice today."

Silence. You didn't know if he was ignoring you or simply ignoring everyone, and it wasn't something about you.

"Doesn't your neck hurt?"

"No."

You gulped when his voice echoed in the air.

"It must hurt if you've been keeping it like that for a long time."

"It doesn't."

"Liar."

Silence again. You yearned for his voice once more.

"You can put your head on my shoulder, Remus."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Go away, dove."

His voice was fragile and pleading. It broke your heart, shattered it into million little pieces. A lump made its way to your throat.

"Why?" you asked, a voice as broken as your heart. "I don't want to go away."

"But I want you to," he loosened his fingers from his hair, dropping them to his lap.

You turned to him. "Don't push me away, Remus."

You reached for his hand, but he gently pulled them away. "Remus, please."

He shook his head, still not looking at you.

"I need to know why you don't want me here."

He left your side, ambling to the parapet of the tower and leaning to it. You stared at his back in disbelief.

"Remus-"

"Go away, Y/N."

"You won't even look at my face when you kick me out."

Finally, he snapped his head and locked eyes with you. His eyes looked tired, blazing into yours. He had a new scar under his lower lip, from James's horns, probably.

"Go away."

You stood up, frowning in annoyance. "No, I'm not going anywhere," you took stern steps in his direction and closed the disturbing distance. "We need to talk, Remus."

You adored his amber eyes despite your annoyance. You loved to dive into its depth and get lost, sorting out every colour one by one.

He stayed where he was, but you detected his eyes lowering from your eyes. He stared at the cut above your cheek, clenching his jaw.

You unconsciously turned away and hid it from Remus. Memories flooded in a blink and raised the panic inside you. You could still feel the wind hitting your face and the sting from the branch that cut your skin as you fled for your life from the beast.

"It's nothing," you uttered.

Remus scoffed at your face. You saw his eyes change into something harsh and his brows furrow.

"Yeah, sure. The cut in your arm is also nothing."

You didn't ask how he knew that. After all, James did tell you that he would let Remus know everything.

"It'll heal."

"And why is it there in the first place?"

Remus took a step forward when you didn't answer.

What were you supposed to say? Because his wolf form chased you down, and you got injured trying to flee?

"I'll tell you why," he said, voice raised. "Because I hunted you down, tossed you to the ground, and yanked you around. I only did it so I could kill you."

"No–"

"Is that what you wanted to talk about? How I'm a bloodthirsty monster whose first instinct is to kill?"

"You weren't yourself."

"What would happen if James wasn't there?"

You pushed your lips together and closed your eyes. This was the last thing you wanted to talk about.

"No, open your eyes," he raised your head by your chin, forcing you to look him in the eye. "Tell me what would've happened if James wasn't there."

You blinked away the tears that were threatening to invade your vision. Remus made you relive the same nightmare you had that night over and over again.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I need you to understand! I need you to understand that I'm not someone you can fucking love!"

You startled in your place, both by his anger and claim. Something had burst into flames inside you now that he had finally acknowledged your feelings.

You opened your mouth to quarrel, to tell him he's wrong, and that you loved him more than anyone or anything in the world. But he didn't let you interrupt him.

"You think I haven't thought about what you said in the last two days? You haven't left my mind for even a bloody second!" his tone was raised but broken.

"You were the one pushing me away!"

"Because I wanted to keep you away from all this shit! I wanted you to see me as something other than a cursed boy. Why do you think I never shared that secret with you?!"

"That secret is part of your story, Remus. If you thought that I wouldn't love you with it, you must've been out of your mind."

You didn't think he understood the depth of your love for him, and you needed him to understand. It didn't even matter if your feelings were not returned.

He shook his head no.

"No one, Y/N, no one loves a monster like me."

"I do," you pleaded.

Words weren't enough to convince him or express your love for him, but you were trying.

He took your arm in his hand and pulled the left sleeve of your sweater up, revealing the gash. You tried to pull your arm back, but he overpowered you, tightening the hold on your arm. You grimaced when his fingers pushed on the scar.

"This is what happens when you love someone like me."

You used your whole strength and tugged your arm back. You marvelled at your tone when you spoke.

"Stop it! You weren't yourself, Remus!"

"How does that even change anything?!" he screamed, his voice breaking and his eyes tearing up. "Don't you understand? I am a danger to you!

"Remus–"

"You think this is easy for me?! I have fucking lost my mind these last two days because you were the only one in it! My brain wouldn't think of any name other than yours! My heart wouldn't beat for any name other than yours! And when I am finally ready to tell you that I love you, too, James comes and tells me that I almost fucking killed you!"

His eyes were blood red, and the veins in his neck had popped up. Tears left his red eyes and paved the way down from his jawline to his neck.

Remus was crying.

It was a sight you had never got used in the last five years.

Your mind refused to work, denying to comprehend the words that left his mouth. It was all too much, and all in one moment.

"You love me, too?'

You didn't recognise your own voice, probably because all you could hear was Remus's confession. You expected your heart to race this time also, but instead, it was dead silent. Or maybe you were just too focused on Remus's eyes.

His tears never stopped, and he never tried to stop them.

He was breaking down at last.

You walked up to him and closed whatever distance was left. You looked up into his eyes as he lowered them to you.

"But you didn't kill me," you whispered, bringing your hand to his cheek. He closed his eyes, raining more tears on your hand. You gently wiped them away.

"I'm here, Remus. I'm here, and I'm telling you that I love you. I don't love you despite your curse, I love you with it."

Remus scrunched up his face, letting out a sob before sinking his head down your shoulder. You felt his tears on your neck.

At that moment, you knew no words would ever soothe the storm in his heart.

So you held him as he bawled like a child.

His crying sent daggers to your heart, ripping it open.

You begged for his pain to become yours so that he would never hurt the way he was hurting now.

You didn't know how many minutes past. All you knew was Remus's sobs and whimpers hurt you like nothing else ever did.

You didn't let go when the heavy sobs turned into heavy sighs or when the tear-fall in your neck turned into warm breaths.

You caressed his hair and kissed his neck when he calmed down. When he talked, it was gritty and low.

"I'm a monster, dove. A monster that will tear you to pieces if you get near."

"I love you," you whispered. You felt him let a short, breathy scoff to the crook of your neck.

"I attacked Snape last night like a beast."

"I love you."

"I almost killed you."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

You shut your eyes, breaking your face into a tiny smile. Four words, one sentence, and his lips close to your neck was all you needed for revival.

Remus inched away from your neck, lingering his lips next to your wound. The red in his eyes hadn't worn off, but the brown of his eyes was blazing with affection.

You drew a sharp breath when he kissed above your cheek.

He caressed the nick lengthwise with tender pecks. His hand grazed your other cheek while the other one made its way to your waist.

You held your breath when he lowered his lips, hovering them above your lips. His hot breath tingled your face, you fought the urge to close your eyes.

He whispered your name, and that's when you gave in. You closed your eyes and unknowingly parted your lips.

One second lasted one year.

Something flamed up down in your chest when you felt Remus's soft lips on yours. He kissed your lips gentle and soft, but short. Pulling back, he stared into your eyes, chestnut brown darkening with every second.

"I love you," he whispered.

Within a blink, his lips crashed into your lips again, this time more intense, more passionate, taking away the air in your lungs. You melted to his touch, letting his lips savour yours while his hand on your waist tugged you closer. Your breaths mingled together, leaving your heart fluttering in your ribcage.

If time had stopped and trapped you at this moment, you wouldn't complain.

You craved his scent on your soul, his touch on your body and his lips on your lips. But most importantly, you were more than glad to be buried in his love.

He pulled away and smiled at the way you filled your lung with air. You felt his thumb caress your face.

"There's no getting rid of me, now, dove."

His smile was tired, his eyes still carrying the heartbreak of yesterday. You knew he was still a broken boy inside, but you loved him anyway.

Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think!

#remus lupin #remus lupin fic rec #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin angst #remus lupin fluff

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siriuslynettey · 1 month ago

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🎀sweet moment between two lovers who lived happily ever after, nothing bad ever happened, they live long, beautiful lives together, free of pain and suffering🎀

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ricochetyears · 12 days ago

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oh how i hate that headcanon where sirius is a total whore who’s super experienced with sex. like, okay, sure—humor and flirting might be his coping mechanism, but i’m dead convinced the bastard knew as much about sex as a cow knows about discord. fr, growing up in that household? zero sex ed. sex was probably treated as purely for making heirs, and anything about pleasure was seen as shameful. so yeah, sirius might’ve been all talk, shouting about sex like he knew everything, but in reality? no real experience, no real understanding. just vibes and bluster

and that’s exactly why i love wolfstar intimate connection so much. in my mind, remus has a healthy, grounded understanding of sex—like, he actually gets it. he knows that it’s not just a physical thing but something tied to connection and emotion and he definitely understands how to give and receive pleasure

he’s the one who shows sirius what pleasure can actually feel like, how it’s nothing to be ashamed of. he teaches him how to enjoy it, how to feel good both physically and emotionally with someone you care about. remus is the one who shows sirius how to kiss someone when you love them, where and how to touch to make it feel good—no rush, no pressure. just feelings, just connection

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kaylasficrecs · 7 months ago

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remus lupin recs

by tired hands | au, one shot, fluff | @luveline

"it's gonna hurt" | drabble, smut | @ddejavvu

it's time to go | series | @godlessandwrecked

rude due to the upcoming full moon | imagine, flangst | @moonstruckme

you frustrate me incredibly, sweetheart | imagine, fluff | @sincerelyyycece

make eye contact when talking | au, imagine, fluff | @bruisedboys

poor bunny | one shot, flangst | @robynlilyblack

red | one shot, flangst | @jamespottersdaisy

alive and true | imagine, flangst | @nincompoopydoo

scars | imagine, fluff | @crimsntwlip

back to december | imagine, flangst | @ur-local-anti-hero

three simple words | imagine, fluff | @acciotwinz

never his | one shot, trifecta (smut/fluff/angst) | @weasleykisses

kisses | imagine, fluff | @sssiriusly

we fell in love in december | drabble, fluff | @remusluvr

nothing but the necklace | imagine, fluff | @reysdriver

heart shaped | imagine, fluff | @luveline

names in phones | au, drabble, fluff | @ddejavvu

sunday roast | drabble, fluff | @reysdriver

new discoveries | au, imagine, fluff | @amourane

hates her outfit | drabble, fluff | @inkdrinkerworld

the way i see you | one shot, fluff | @g1rld1ary

talk too much | au, imagine, fluff | @inkdrinkerworld

clandestine | drabble, fluff | @spncvr

long and stressful morning | drabble, fluff (slight angst) | @madwcman

rubbing your back | imagine, fluff | @daenysx

fix it | imagine, flangst | @wingedhallows

dress shopping | drabble, suggestive fluff | @ddejavvu

over the influence | imagine, fluff | @bruisedboys

kiss me really nicely | imagine, fluff | @in-between-thighs

no i like you | imagine, fluff | @moonstruckme

scott street | imagine, angsty flangst | @spncvr

routine | imagine, flangst | @sp1rit-realm

"you are the one person i care for..." | imagine, soft fluff | @hello-everyfandom

terrified | imagine, flangst | @inkdrinkerworld

blood quill | imagine, flangst, comfort | @jasmines-library

with migraine!reader | drabble, fluff | @remushrts

gives you your first kiss | imagine, fluff | @luveline

with all due respect | imagine, flangst | @writesowhatnext

potter!reader | series | @mallowsweetmiri

chocolate-coated hearts | au, imagine, fluff | @sun-kissy

after the storm | one shot, flangst | @pretentious-blonde

it's nice to have a friend | one shot, flangst | @jamespottersdaisy

sweet nothing | one shot, flangst | @jamespottersdaisy

super blue moon | imagine, flangst | @ellecdc

yours | one shot, flangst | @pretentious-blonde

mouse | one shot, fluff | @siriuslovebot

sweetness | imagine, fluff | @pretentious-blonde

casually domestically dominant | imagine, fluff | @luveline

james's neighbor | imagine, fluff | @moonstruckme

#hp #remus lupin x reader #marauders #masterlist #fic recs

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aphrcdites · 1 year ago

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this was so sweet omg 🥹

I would love just some good old fluff/angst moments, anything you want or think of I will be happy with. Inej or Remus have my heart but feel free to do any six of crow or marauders character<3 also welcome to tumblr!!!!

a/n: thank you for this, and thank you for the welcome! i'm liking it so far... :)

Summary: You overhear Remus talking about his crush, and it doesn’t occur to you that it might be you.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings/notes: fem!reader, self-doubt and self-deprecating thoughts, drinking and being drunk, i think that’s it.

<3: remus lupin x fem!reader

You smiled as you entered the portrait that led to the Gryffindor common room. It had been a long day, and all you really wanted was to see your friends, your boys, and have them cheer you up. You knew they were in there since they rarely ever left unless they were pulling a prank, and the anticipation of seeing them made you practically giddy.

Well, the anticipation of seeing one of them in particular: Remus. He’d been your friend since first year, but ever since you were twelve, you’d wanted something more from him. You couldn’t tell if he felt the same way; Remus was the master of mixed signals, and you, the queen of overthinking. In an effort to keep him by your side, you never spoke or acted on your feelings, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t there.

“Ooh, Moony’s whipped,” Sirius laughed loudly, and you slowed your steps, “Honestly, mate, there’s nothing you can do now. You’re gone.”

“Don’t tease me,” Remus complained, “I know, I know. I just can’t stop thinking about her.”

That stopped you in your tracks. Remus had a crush on someone. Someone that was probably much prettier, smarter, and funnier than you. Somebody who Remus hadn’t seen in her pyjamas on a Saturday afternoon, somebody who hadn’t laughed so hard she spat her drink out in front of him. A nice, ladylike girl.

“We know, she’s so perfect,” James chipped in, “You tell us every time. I’m sick of listening to it.”

“‘Her hair, her eyes, her smile,’” Sirius imitated Remus, and you took a step back towards the portrait hole, “‘God, her laugh.’”

You should have known that Remus would never like you back. You were quiet, and awkward, and you didn’t always like the pranks that he and the boys played on the other students. Of course, he was looking elsewhere while your eyes were glued to him. After almost five years of pining, this was how your relationship was meant to play out.

Running from the common room, you had no destination in mind, just the knowledge that you weren’t good enough and the urgent need to find somewhere quiet to cry in your head.

~~~

“Hey, sweet girl,” Remus grinned as he slid into the seat next to you, “Sleep well?”

You smiled weakly with a small nod in his direction before you turned your attention back to Professor McGonagall, who was explaining the lesson at the front of the classroom. Remus’ shoulder brushed yours as he twisted to set his bag down, and you immediately shuffled away from him, trying to keep your eyes on your teacher despite Remus’ attention being on you.

“Everything okay?” He asked in that kind tone that made your insides pool, “You didn’t come to see us yesterday.”

“I’m fine. I just had a lot of work to do.”

Remus let it go in favour of writing down the notes that McGongall had written on the board, and you tried your hardest to ignore his presence beside you. You used to think that it meant something, only because James and Sirius sat all the way on the other side of the room, and Remus chose to leave his friends to sit next to you.

Now, you knew that it was nothing but pity that drove him to sit with you.

The lesson ended with the bell, and you gathered your things without another word to Remus. His eyes burned holes into your back as you retreated, but he didn’t try to go after you, probably because James and Sirius were more important than you, or perhaps the girl he actually liked was in the class, too, and he was distracted by her.

Either way, his silence was enough confirmation for you, and you hurried to the library in an attempt to get away from him.

Remus spent a lot of time in the library, but you knew that he had ancient runes next period, which gave you at least an hour to study before he might find you. Then, you could hide in your dorm until dinner, where you could surround yourself with some of your other friends and act too busy to care about him.

You wanted to be happy for Remus - he’d confided in you about how difficult it was for him to open up to people and trust them, so him having a crush on someone was huge - but the jealousy was almost too much to bear. You would bear it, though. You would bear the weight of the world for him, and the only pain you would feel would be the knowledge that he wouldn’t do the same for you.

Which was fine, of course, it was fine; you couldn’t force Remus to feel for you what you felt for him. It hurt, though. A steady, piercing type of pain that clawed down your throat and lodged itself in your heart, stabbing you every time you thought of him, or your non-existent future together.

And, oh, did you imagine. Living somewhere peaceful in the countryside, probably not very rich, but definitely happy. Baking cookies whenever you wanted, dancing in the kitchen at midnight, waking up and seeing his face illuminated by the soft sun. Having dinner parties with the other boys, drinking wine outside and watching the sunset, having him kiss your forehead as the two of you saw out another day. It was all there for you to access, yet it was wholly inaccessible.

It had been more than your designated hour by the time you wrapped up, and as you picked up your bag to leave, you noticed Remus standing in the doorway, eyes searching the library for something. You cringed away, turning around and hiding behind the nearest bookshelf until the time came when you peered around the wood and found that the sandy-haired boy was gone.

Only then did you leave, heading straight to your dorm to avoid Remus some more.

~~~

Gryffindor had won the quidditch cup, and James was throwing a party in the common room to celebrate. A party which involved a lot of alcohol, music, and dancing. It wasn’t your usual scene, but you’d gone to show your support, and you couldn’t even get to the door to leave if you had wanted to.

You were, however, pressed up against the wall, practically willing it to swallow you up as you watched Remus talking to a group of girls across the room. They were all giggling at the things he was saying, one of them even reaching over to touch his arm. Remus wasn’t yours to be possessive over, but the jealousy was rising back up your throat quicker than you could control it, fuelled by the alcohol in your system.

With a scoff, you pushed off of the wall and climbed the stairs to your left, following them around until you came to the window, where you decided to sit for a bit, just to get a bit of air. It was a wonder that a couple hadn’t decided to stop there for some time alone, but it was all the better for you as you stared out at the hills that surrounded the castle.

You weren’t certain how long you’d sat there staring, but it certainly wasn’t long enough before somebody interrupted you by clearing their throat. Breaking your gaze, you turned to whoever it was, not sure whether to be surprised or not when your eyes landed on Remus, hands shoved into his pockets awkwardly.

“You alright?” He asked.

“Yeah. Fine.” You answered.

He sighed, sitting down on the window seat by your feet and staring intently at you. By the slight droop of his eyes, you could tell that he’d had a few drinks, possibly even more than you.

“You’ve been so off lately,” He accused, his voice slightly less gentle than it usually was with you, “What’s up with you?”

“What? Nothing.”

“Did I do something? Is that what it is? Did I upset you in some way?” He reached forward and gripped one of your hands, “Please, forgive me.”

“Stop, Remus,” You tugged your hand from between his, “You’re just being mean, now.”

“Mean?” He pulled back, brows furrowed, “I’ve been mean to you.”

He said it like it was a fact. Like he was simply accepting what you’d said as the truth, and something about it felt wrong. He hadn’t been mean to you. He didn’t owe you anything, he was just doing what he wanted to do and if that didn’t include you, then that wasn’t up to you.

Shaking your head, you answered, “No, you haven’t. I’m just tired.”

“Don’t do that to me-” He slinked forward, the top of his head falling onto your chest, eyes looking right down into your cleavage. “-I don’t ever want to be mean to you.”

“You’re not,” You gently encouraged his head away from you, your hand lingering on his cheek for slightly too long, “It’s my fault.”

“No,” He pouted, “Nothing’s your fault. Nothing ever.”

You laughed, and his pout lightened into a smile, “I think I’m at fault quite a bit. Come on, you should go to bed.”

“Only if you join me.”

Again, you laughed, standing and allowing him to lean his weight onto you as you climbed the rest of the stairs up to his dorm and into his bed. You didn’t bother helping him undress, or brush his teeth, or anything of the sort - he was far too drunk to bother with any of those things - but he gripped onto your hand, prohibiting you from leaving before he fell asleep and his grip finally loosened.

You left him in his bed, asleep, closing the door softly behind you. Remus was your best friend, that was all. You were going to have to get used to that before it ate you up from the inside out.

~~~

Remus found you again the next morning, hair still messy, and dark circles apparent under his eyes. He dropped onto the grass next to you, fingers immediately beginning to pick at the grass in front of him as you smiled a greeting at him.

“Thanks for taking care of me last night.” He offered in his own greeting.

“I just put you to bed, it’s fine. However, I did have the privilege of listening to you ramble about how I can do no wrong, so…”

“God…” He buried his face in his hands, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no. I’ll be reminding you of it whenever we next argue.”

He blushed, and you failed miserably at trying to stop your heart from turning into a puddle at your feet. God, this whole ‘trying not to have a crush on your best friend’ thing was going terribly - it seemed that you were particularly bad at not being in love with Remus Lupin, it was as though nothing he could do would ever dissuade you. You just wanted to be his, even if he wanted to be someone else’s.

“So,” You started again, “Did you talk to her at the party?”

“Who?” He furrowed his eyebrows, revealing the small dimple right above his right brow that you longed to brush over with your thumb.

“Your crush. I heard you talking about her a couple of weeks ago, you know,” You admitted, avoiding his eyes, “If she has any sense, she’ll be head over heels for you, too.”

“I’m not so sure…” Remus trailed off, “She’s been a bit distant lately.”

“Maybe she’s just confused,” You smiled despite the fault forming in your heart, “Or playing hard to get.”

“She’s not the type,” Remus returned your smile with a slightly embarrassed one of his own, “You heard me talk about her? Do you know who she is?”

“No, I didn’t hear her name.”

Perhaps you were imagining the way his shoulders sagged in what seemed to simultaneously be relief and disappointment, but you certainly didn’t fabricate his finger brushing over yours on the prickly grass.

“Do you want to know her name?”

You nodded. Despite the fact that you already despised this girl beyond belief, you were also sure that if Remus liked her, she had to be some kind of angel on Earth. She was probably the kindest, prettiest girl at Hogwarts, and you held your breath as though waiting to be handed a court verdict.

But you weren’t given a name. Instead, a warm hand brushed your cheek, and Remus leaned towards you, lips just a breath away from yours, waiting for you to pull back. When you didn’t, paralysed by shock and desire, he persevered and kissed you. It wasn’t the kind of kiss that played with fireworks in the back in a dramatic film, it was a soft, slow, special kind of kiss that seemed unique to the two of you.

It was perfect.

When Remus pulled away, hands still holding your face, the only thing you could manage to say was: “So? What’s her name?”

And all Remus could do was laugh before he kissed you again and again and again.

#remus lupin #remus lupin fic rec #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fluff

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moonpascaltoo · 6 months ago

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remus lupin

MASTERLIST • THE MARAUDERS • 07/23/24

˚‧⁺ ･ ˖ · ୨ৎ recs

remus lupin two

𑣲 shy!reader I @luveline

𑣲 calm after the storm I @angelfic

the 4 times you hate each other, and the one time you don’t. alternatively, remus lupin is a pain in your arse and yours alone.

𑣲 furry little secret I @/angelfic

you find out remus has been keeping a huge secret from you, and only you.

𑣲 singed memories I @lupinlongbottom

Harry finds a photo of Remus and a mysterious girl. He finds that the girl’s name is (Y/N), she was dead. Harry, letting his curiosity get the better of him, asks Remus for the whole story

𑣲 babysitting blues I @/lupinlongbottom

Remus and (Y/N) are asked to babysit Harry while Lily and James go away for the weekend.

𑣲 mouse I @siriuslovebot

the reader has always had a huge crush on remus. the girls find out and marlene accidentally lets it get back to remus.

𑣲 the girl with the books I @solemnarration

james and sirius notice that it’s not the books that keep remus in the library, and are determined to know whether you – the object of remus’s affection – return his feelings.

𑣲 pomegranates I @curseofaphrodite

fake dating takes a whole new meaning when the two of you realize you'd rather have it be real.

𑣲 the gold dress I @/curseofaphrodite

At the gryffindor party, Remus finds himself on the verge of jealousy.

𑣲 the order of phoenix I @/curseofaphrodite

Y/N was in her 7th year when Lupin became DADA professor. Three years later, they meet again in Grimmauld Place, and he was more annoyed than happy to see her.

𑣲 i thought that i was dreaming when you said you loved me part 2 I @mangomonk

𑣲 kiss me really nicely I @in-between-thighs

Remus Lupin is worried he doesn’t know how to properly kiss you, you might have to teach him.

𑣲 angsty I @theemporium

𑣲 reader left out part 2 I @/theemporium

𑣲 not so secret admirer part 2 part 3 I @kquil

you can't hide your adoration for remus lupin and often end up staring at him, good thing he thinks you're really cute

𑣲 baby fever I @/kquil

you and remus meet an adorable baby while grocery shopping

𑣲 drabble I @amiableness

𑣲 promises I @/amiablesness

Reader and Remus get glimpses of their past life every time they touch

𑣲 one of us I @/amiableness

Fed up with your constant bickering, your friends dare you to spend a night together, hoping it will finally resolve the tension between you both.

𑣲 bff!remus I @ddejavvu

𑣲 animagus!reader I @/ddejavvu

𑣲 secrecy I @wolfmoonmusic

You love James Potter and would do anything for him, including keeping your relationship an absolute secret. However, he may not feel the same.

𑣲 pillow I @cosmal

you fall asleep on remus at a party.

𑣲 lovers rock @/cosmal

you and remus lupin have become really good at stealing each other away from parties.

𑣲 a man with a plan part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 I @ellecdc

Remus planned to never fall in love. Moony had other plans.

𑣲 extrovert!reader I @rainydayathogwarts

𑣲 missed hints I @empress-simps

Remus Lupin wanted to make his feelings known; he is trying numerous ways to tell you, but you are simply quite oblivious to the poor boy’s advances.

𑣲 beyond the surface I @/empress-simps

𑣲 loving yellow and black I @/empress-simps

𑣲 letter to my lupin I @/empress-simps

Remus decided to find out who’s behind giving him little notes and chocolates ever since his fourth year at Hogwarts that made him fall in love.

𑣲 red I @jamespottersdaisy

𑣲 little family I @wasteddmoondust

𑣲 misunderstanding part 2 I @mrsbrookemunson

The rumor of Y/N–James sister–liking Sirius.

𑣲 doctor!remus I @moonstruckme

𑣲 remus is mean I @/moonstruckme

𑣲 foolish one I @flusteredmoonn

"stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love, that ain't never gonna come," in which his friends are the last people he would entrust with the truth of his feelings toward a particular classmate.

𑣲 left unspoken I @pasukiyo

she wakes in the middle of the night and knows only two things are for certain: remus is not sleeping, and something is wrong.

𑣲 if it wasn’t for you meddling kids I @writesowhatnext

the boys are suspicious when Remus keeps disappearing… where is he going? Who’s he meeting?

𑣲 you are in love I @starstruckmoony

sirius and marlene (and lily) play matchmaker to get you and remus together because you're slightly failing at picking up on very obvious stuff.

𑣲 terrified I @inkdrinkerworld

An oblivious boy that you've been trying to get away from for a week corners you at a party. Luckily, Remus is there to help.

𑣲 his girl I @opalesquegirl

An oblivious boy that you've been trying to get away from for a week corners you at a party. Luckily, Remus is there to help.

𑣲 the way i see you I @g1rld1ary

you're an artist, but you never let any of your friends see your work. they finally attend one of your exhibits and see your feelings on paper

𑣲 their favorite show I @justagirlwholikesadam

Sirius and James have a secret. They love watching Remus fucking his girlfriend, you. Without both of you knowing.

𑣲 starman I @ahqkas

during a snowy holiday at the potter residence, remus finds himself caught between the matchmaking ideas of his two best friends and his growing feelings for you

𑣲 you should see the things we do, baby I @moonlightspencie

Remus and Reader decide to take advantage of teasing Sirius, and it leads to a lot more than a dirty dream.

𑣲 jolene part 2 part 3 I @whenlilyfallsinlove

james potter —> remus lupin

𑣲 sirius the matchmaker I @fishley

sirius has a field day when he figures out remus has a crush on his slytherin best friend.

𑣲 bad habit I @patrophthia

𑣲 lessons in humility I @moonpascal

Remus can’t help but embarrass himself time and time again in front of the twins teacher.

𑣲 you’re losing me I @astonishment

you and james potter have a friendship like no other, with the most unbreakable bond…or so everyone thought. when you get hanahaki, you start pulling away from james and no matter how hard he tries, he can’t see, to do anything right. with your friendship being put to the ultimate test, will you find your way back to each other? or will james lose you for good?

𑣲 ivy I @enviedear

in which remus confesses that he loves you while on a date with another girl.

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #the marauders #the marauders x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin x you #remus lupin/reader #remus lupin smut #remus lupin angst #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin oneshot #remus lupin series #remus lupin fic rec #remus lupin fic recs

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angie-likes-to-art · 10 days ago

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What He Was Hiding

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader Summary: Y/n finds out about Remus’s furry little secret. Word Count: 3170 Warnings: Pining, wounds/ bruises, character being tied up A/N: for the sake of the story, the reader is a Gryffindor, sorry if you're not but I'm too lazy to make a house neutral reader :)

Masterlist

Between trying to impress Slughorn by learning extra potions to get into the elusive ‘Slug Club’ and trying to catch up in transfiguration before McGonagall assigned you to a tutor, you've had many sleepless nights studying in the common room. While stirring a potion with one hand and turning the page of your transfiguration book with the other, you almost didn’t notice the four boys sneaking up the stairs from their dorm. You watched as they argued in hushed tones and shushed each other, you couldn't make out all of what they were saying but caught parts as you held your breath and stopped stirring. ‘Invisibility cloak?’ came from Remus, ‘Lils borrowed it to-’ James explained before being cut off but a jab to his side from Sirius and a ‘shhh’ from Peter as they all stepped through the painting into the castle halls.

You looked at your cauldron and book with regret after curiosity got the best of you. Before the boys could get too far, you bounded up to your dorm room and snuck over to Lily’s bed, peeked through the curtain to make sure she was asleep and opened her trunk at the foot of her bed. You sorted through her robes and vinyl records before pulling out the silver flowing cloak and wrapping it around your body like you've seen the boys do on multiple occasions, even being convinced by Remus to get under and sneak to the library together a few times. Walking past your abandoned study materials and through the painting, you quickly caught up with the boys who were still talking quite loud for openly leaving the castle at nighttime. You watched as Remus flinched in pain as they stepped into the moonlight, making you want to run over and help, but you held yourself back when you saw Sirius wrap an arm around his waist and help him stand and trudge over to the Whomping Willow where James pushed in a spot on the trunk and jump down between the roots. The other boys followed close behind and seemed to disappear. Trying to spot where they went, you failed to see the sudden drop in front of you. You fell with a thump, keeping the cloak wrapped close around you, but making the boys turn around at the sound, causing Peter to cast Lumos to light up the tunnel. Thanks to the cloak and you biting your lip to control your heaving breathing, they were none the wiser of your presence and continued down the dirt tunnel, the ceiling being held up by the roots of the willow tree, and a hatch at the end leading to where ever the boys were going.

You waited for a moment at the hatch listening to the boys move to a different area, giving you the opportunity to climb up and look around the room, but not noticing the cloak being snagged when the hatch fell shut. You were confused by the sight of a rundown house with boarded-up windows, dusty furniture, and rotting wood floors. And you were shocked by the sight of Peter and James shackling Remus’s wrists and ankles to the beams of a four-poster bed, after wandering up the narrow staircase. But before you could react, you were tackled to the floor.

“No, no, no, I’m sorry, I won’t say anything, I promise,” you pleaded with your eyes squeezed shut, pounding on the chest of the person who tackled you with your fists, thinking for sure you were going to die; going to be murdered by some of your closest friends. Tears pricked in your eyes and you tried to wiggle your hips loose from your capture who seemed to be twice your size.

“Fuck, Y/n, you scared the shit out of us,” you heard Sirius from on top of you who was trying to catch your flailing hands and spoke in an oddly casual tone for the situation you were in. You opened your eyes and it was indeed Sirius who was straddling you, and from the corner of your eye, you saw James and Peter hurrying to tie up Remus.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You squeaked out, rubbing your hands from Sirius’s grip, and gestured toward the bed where Peter was still struggling with the chains around Remus. You backed yourself into the corner of the room after you managed to slip out from under Sirius, searching for your wand in your pockets. Spotting it across the room, where it rolled after you were pushed to the ground, looking between the boys in a panic, trying to find the fastest way to get it in case you needed to defend yourself.

“Hey, hey,” Sirius caught your attention, his hands up in defense, and he spoke in a slow voice, “Everything is okay,” you could feel your lip wobbling and tears streaming down your face but tried not to do anything to show them you were scared, but a part of you was strangely comforted by his voice.

“What do you mean ‘everything is okay?’ You're tying up Remus!” You cried, not being able to find a stronger voice.

“Y/n,” You heard Remus snarl and rattle the chains keeping his limbs down. The sound of his voice, albeit angry and frightening, made your heartbreak, and more tears run down your cheeks.

“He’s hurt,” you sobbed at Sirius and tried to take a step closer to the bed but James stopped you, “Let me help him,” you begged the boys.

“You need to go, Y/n,” James told you, trying to sound stern but avoiding eye contact with you. You tried to stand your ground and furiously shook your head, not trusting your voice to not come out as a sob. In response, James took out his wand and pointed it at your chest.

“Godric, James,” you took a step back from being poked by the mahogany.

“I’ll take her back to the castle,” Sirius offered from next to you, making James nod and turn back to Remus and Peter. You shook your head at Sirius again and he gave you a solemn look before leading you back to the hatch with a hand on the small of your back.

The walk seemed a lot longer than when you were trailing the boys with peaked curiosity, now you were hastily wiping the tears that stained your face, somewhat embarrassed that your friends saw you break down and cry in front of them and you were still utterly confused about what was going on and why the boys weren’t answering your many questions. Once you reached the common room, Sirius unwrapped the cloak from around you both, and you looked up at his sympathetic face once again.

“Get some sleep,” he whispers and brushed some of your messy hair off your face, while you refused to make eye contact. He let out a breath when you turned around to head up to your room, unsure if you'll even be able to fall asleep.

“Hey Y/n, don’t mention this to Rem,” he calls back when you’re halfway up the stairs, you turn around to see him running a hand through the hair at the back of his neck. You press your lips together and don’t respond, instead going up to your room and climbing into bed.

In the morning, you ignored the girls’ insisting that you get up and come to breakfast with them, instead opting to rush to the charms classroom, taking the seat of a Slytherin girl in the front of the room. You knew you would earn an eye roll from her but you’d rather that than whatever would come to you from the boys. As if like a normal day, the boys came in moments before class started. James and Sirius gave you a nod and slide into their seats at the back of the classroom, Peter followed close behind them, mirroring their actions. Remus, on the other hand, traipsed in looking tired with messy hair and robes and sporting some new scratches and you could've sworn you saw hints of bruises on his wrists. He looked at you with confusion when he saw you in a different seat than the one next to him. You avoided his gaze by staring into your notes, in your peripheral vision you see him hesitate for a moment and open his mouth to speak, but the professor tells him to find his seat so the class can start. You heard him mutter a ‘yes, professor’ and take his seat next to the Slytherin girl who was still seething that her spot was taken and that she was in the back of the class near the ‘marauders’ who made a joke out of the classes they were in together. Luckily the class was mainly a lecture about the spells you’d be learning in the next couple of classes and their practical uses. The remaining part was for those who had questions or needed help with other charms and the rest of the class was dismissed. You quickly gathered your book and notes and rushed out of the room and sped back to your dorm. You heard Remus calling your name from behind you, but you made no move to respond.

Later in the dining hall, you sat at an empty end of the table and kept your head down as you filled up and got ready to scamper off to Black Lake to avoid the marauders and be able to clear your head, maybe try to understand what you saw last night.

“What are you doing all the way over here?” You jumped when you heard Remus’s voice, you turned to see him and the rest of the boys making their way to their usual spot at the table, James and Sirius hovered behind him for a second to acknowledge you with worried looks.

“Oh, uh,” you avoided Remus’s gaze, instead you shoved some snacks into your bag and flung it over your shoulder, “I was just grabbing a few things before going to study at the library,” You dipped around him to avoid any further questions, even speeding up when he tried to get a hold on your hand.

Once at the lake, you sat at the base of a tree and rested your head on the trunk. You let out a breath you felt like you’d been holding since you saw Remus the night before, you also let out a sob you’d been holding until you knew you were alone. You didn’t want to lose your friends, you couldn’t explain what they were doing but you knew there had to be some explanation, right? Those weren’t the boys you knew, they wouldn’t tie up and hurt one of their best friends. Sure, they were mischievous and got into trouble but they weren’t malicious. They couldn't be. There had to be a rational reason for this. But you couldn’t find one in time for the bell to ring from the castle, indicating the end of lunch. You wiped your tears and pulled yourself together and made your way to your next class. You don’t know how long you could actually avoid them, especially Remus.

The next couple of days were hard, but you managed to avoid Remus, the other marauders, and even your roommates- knowing Lily would tell James you were being strange if he asked. You switched seats, skipped classes altogether, ignored Remus when he called after you, and made excuses for why you weren’t around. But this only lasted for so long, because you were grabbed by the wrist on your way to a secluded table in the library and pulled in between some bookshelves.

“Why won't you talk to me?” you saw Remus when you reopened your eyes, he looked worried and his hair was messy like he’s been messing with it too much, you knew he did that when he was nervous or stressed.

“I don’t know what you're talking about,” you responded, shaking your head, and looking anywhere but at him.

“Y/n, c’mon, you've been avoiding me for days,” He rested his hands on the side of your arms, gently keeping you in place.

“I haven't, I've just been busy,” you lied through your teeth and knew he didn’t believe you for a second.

“Just tell me,” His voice broke and you finally looked into his watery eyes “please,” he pleaded.

“It’s just- It’s just I don't know what James and Sirius are gonna do if I do,” You confessed, looking out into the rest of the library to see if they were there listening.

“What do you mean?” He caught your eyeline again.

“Sirius tackled me and James threatened to hex me,” you recounted.

“Sirius tackled you?” Remus tightened his grip on your arms and looked you over to see if you were okay.

“Yeah and told me not to talk to you,” You told him when his hands fell to his sides.

“I- I think they're just worried about you hurting me like I-” He scratched the back of his neck and you could see the slightest tinge of pink on his face.

“Me?!” you spoke louder than you should in the library and corrected your volume when you heard a couple of shushes, “They, and Peter, they're the ones who tied you up to a bed,” You ranted at the idea of them turning the blame onto you.

“What?” He stood up straighter and gave you a scrutinizing look.

“Yeah, in some weird house under the willow tree,” you wrapped your arms around yourself while remembering that night, and saw Remus’s eyes widen. He looked over his shoulder into the rest of the library as well. “you really don't remember?” you continued after seeing his reaction.

“Y/n, I-” he started, but a surge of protectiveness for Remus took you over.

“We have to tell Dumbledore, right? Like, you’re hurt,” you suggest, gently taking ahold of his sleeve and rolling it up to reveal his bruised wrist.

“Dumbledore already knows,” he confessed and met your confused face when you didn’t respond. You were racking your head trying to find any explanation, but you were left speechless. “Y/n, I’m going to tell you something, and you have to promise you won’t freak out,” he cautioned and placed his hands on your arms again, making you look into his eyes again.

“I’m going to be honest with you Rem, I’m kind of already freaking out,” you admitted and watched him peek through the bookshelves once again to make sure no one was listening in.

“Y/n, I’m a werewolf,” he squeezed his eyes shut with his whispered confession, getting ready for you to scream or run away or chew him out, but in response to your wide-eyed silence, he continued, “That house was the Shrieking Shack. The guys, they take me there on full moons in case I turn and they watch over me and make sure I don't get out and near the castle. I usually take a wolfbane potion but they're not always effective-” he continued to explain quietly but was cut off by you wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Oh, thank the gods!” you let out in relief as you fell into Remus for a tight hug, “I had no idea what was going on; I was wracking my brain for days trying to come up with something. I'm so glad they weren’t torturing you or something.” you leaned back and held Remus’s shoulders.

“You’re not mad at me?” he asked and you had to hold yourself back from kissing the pout off his face.

“Not at all, I was worried about you,” you kept your hands planted on his shoulders so they didn’t crawl up to his cheek where they wanted to be.

“You were?” Remus questioned with the traces of a relieved smile tugging at his lips.

“Of course,” you assured, feeling like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders and like you could finally think clearly after days, “wait, what did you mean James and Sirius were afraid I’d hurt you?”

“Oh, uh, nothing really,” the dusting of pink spread across his cheeks once again as he suddenly removed his hands from where they were on your waist, “they’re just protective of me, is all.”

“Yeah, I definitely don't want to be on their bad side, but I mean, what could I do to hurt you?” you retracted your arms from him as well.

“I think it's more like,” he spoke slowly like he was trying to choose his words carefully, “they’re worried about my feelings getting hurt?” he suggested and scrunched his nose like he didn’t like the words he chose.

“I could never hurt you like that, Remus, you mean way too much to me,” you were unsure of your words too, not of the meaning of them but if you wanted him to know how you felt just yet.

“I know you wouldn’t on purpose, but people don’t tend to stick around monsters,” he crossed his arms across his chest and shrugged, you know he was trying to shrink away, he did that when he was nervous.

“Rem, I don’t think you’re a monster and I’m definitely not going anywhere, I couldn’t,”

“I want to believe you, but I’m dangerous, you shouldn’t be around me,” his words deeply contrast the look in his eyes that seems to be begging you to stay.

“I can prove it to you,” you were desperate for him to believe you that your mouth moved faster than your head could.

“How?” You could tell he was putting his walls up, but his eyes still had a twinge of hope. You took a step forward while searching his face for any doubt. Almost as if testing the waters, you reached up and placed your hand on his cheek. He froze but didn’t pull away.

“Remus, I love you,” you leaned in, your lips just a hair away from his.

“Really?” He asked The distance between you was barely there, just enough for him to make the final choice.

Then, with a soft exhale, he closed the gap. His lips met yours in a hesitant, tender kiss, one that made up for all the fear and doubt that both of you felt for the past couple of days. One that made up for the years of pining and hidden feelings. One that tore down the walls Remus was trying to build around his heart.

“Are you sure?” He asked as he pulled away to take a breath like you didn’t just pour your heart out in the form of a kiss.

“Yes, Remus, I love you,” Your hands were on either side of his face so he could look into your eyes and know you were telling him the truth.

“I love you too,” he breathed out and pressed his lips to yours again.

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haunting-hufflepuffs-basement · 1 month ago

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Genuinely one of my favorite things about the maruaders fandom that is widely agreed upon:

Regulus is trans. Everyone assumes Remus is trans because werewolf behavior can look suspiciously similar to having a period. Shenanigans ensue:

*During 1st Year*

Sirius: *discreetly giving Remus chocolate during his time of the month*

Remus, in his head: HOW DOES HE KNOW? HOW DOES HE KNOW I'M A WEREWOLF? HOW DOES HE KNOW CHOCOLATE HELPS? WHY IS HE NOT SAYING ANYTHING? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

*Quidditch Locker Room*

Marlene: FUCK!

Sirius: What's wrong?

Marlene: I started my period and don't have anything on me!

James, who started carrying extras because he's a mom friend: Oh, here you go.

Marlene: *intensely stares at them* Okay if James carries the tampons and Remus is the one who uses them, why the FUCK is Sirius named Pads???

James: I. . .what?

Sirius: Abort Prongs. There's no right answer to this one.

*During a Study Session*

Regulus: Ugh, I'm so jealous of you sometimes Lupin.

Remus "Low Self-Esteem" Lupin: Why?

Reg: It's just that. . .well, if your mood is any indication, your time of the month is so CONSISTENT! Like, every 28 days like clockwork. You've never had 2 in one month or anything!

Remus, in his head: . . .is. . .is Regulus a werewolf too? Is this how Sirius was so accepting?

Remus out loud: You get it TWICE sometimes, how is that even possible?

Reg: I know right, it's so unfair!

Regulus: . . .

Peter: . . .

Regulus: So is there a REASON you've been stalking me or---

Peter: Are you a werewolf?

Reg: The fuck? No? Why---

Peter: KAY THANKS BYE!

*later*

Remus: oh my God Peter I didn't mean ASK HIM

Peter: Well how the fuck else was I supposed to find out?

Everyone start milking the comedy potential, or I'll have to write it myself! This is a threat! There's enough angst in this fandom, we need more pure comedy fics!

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aphrcdites · 1 year ago

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OH MY GOD?! this was so good

i thought that i was dreaming when you said you loved me

↳ summary: read this drabble first! goodie two shoes!remus, afraid of being perceived as other, stumbles into a relationship at the expense of y/n. ↳ content: angst, one-sided fake dating ↳ a/n: a little nervous because this is my first time writing for remus pls be gentle w me! for full enjoyment, listen to ivy by frank ocean (i looped it the entire time i wrote this). the more i wrote this, the more i realized i could turn this into a full blown million word fic, but i tried to keep it as condensed as possible, hence some time skips/summarization.

When Remus Lupin confesses — no, announces — that he likes her in the middle of the Great Hall, she thinks she's dreaming. Surely, she didn't hear that correctly. Only hours earlier, she had witnessed the doe-eyed boy unleash a slew of curses beneath his breath. I guess everyone has bad days, she had thought. Even Remus, who she had always pegged as straight-laced and well-mannered.

So when a half a dozen heads turn to stare at her directly, Y/N turns to see if there's anyone behind her. When she sees no one, she turns back forward. It's when Remus Lupin's soft, brown gaze meets hers that her heart stutters dangerously in her chest. She can't help it despite the bewilderment she feels — everyone in the castle has to have some sort of crush on the fluffy-haired boy. He's all soft, disarming smiles and beautiful, brown eyes and knitted jumpers and gentle laughter and—

—and Y/N goes red in the face right away. It doesn't help when Remus tilts his head to the side slightly and offers a small, uncertain smile. Merlin, help me, Y/N thinks as she stares back, wide-eyed, her confusion and any thoughts briefly neutralized at the way his eyes crinkle into little half-moons.

— — — — —

Y/N has always prided herself on being a sharp judge of character. It soon became clear to her, however, that Remus Lupin was a strange, but intriguing case of contradicting character.

Following his confession — rather, announcement — in the Great Hall, she becomes overly conscious of the tall boy. It feels as though she's suddenly very aware that they have most of their classes together, that he sits only a seat away from her in Charms, that he has chicken scratch for handwriting when she passes him in the library. The latter comes as a surprise — perhaps unfairly, she would have pegged him as a swooping cursive type of boy. In any case, it soon becomes the case that Y/N realizes that she can find Remus easily in a room of crowded students, and the more she does, the more she begins to realize that Remus is a boy full of surprises.

This doesn't seem to matter though, because strangely, after his confession in the Great Hall, Remus does not once approach her. Occasionally, she catches him glancing at her with an odd expression, but outside of an increase in being stared at by the other students, little changes in her life.

It isn't until a week later when her seat partner in Charms is out that their paths cross again. When she trudges to her seat in class, she becomes very quickly aware that they're separated only by an empty chair. She doesn't look away fast enough because Remus looks up as she pulls her chair out, his gaze snagging on to hers with an intensity that she doesn't expect from the softness of his eyes.

"Good morning," he says slowly, almost uncertainly. Up close, Y/N can see a splay of pale freckles across his cheekbones. His lashes are unfairly, distractingly long as he gazes up at her.

"Hi," Y/N says, equally uncertain, though she tries to keep her voice light and casual. No one's ever really had a crush on her before, and she finds herself floundering on how to act. Shouldn't he be the nervous one, and not her? Somehow though, she can feel her palms begin to sweat, though Remus doesn't look nervous at all. Just sharp and assessing. Fortunately though, before the air between them can turn any awkwarder, a mussed-haired head pops up from around Remus.

"Y/N, right?" James Potter asks with a wide grin. His glasses are skewed and crooked on his face as he peers around Remus at her rather owlishly.

Next to him, Remus blinks a few times as she nods, opening her mouth to speak when Professor Flitwick clears his throat to begin class.

She tries to focus on taking notes, but it's difficult when she can see Remus casting her sidelong glances from her peripheral view. She gives up on trying to focus on class entirely when a folded piece of parchment flits over the gap between them with a familiar chicken scratch.

Can we talk after class?

After class, Y/N has a ridiculous, irrational flash of self-consciousness that the humidity has made her hair begin to frizz. Remus doesn't seem to notice as she rakes a hand quickly through her hair because a nervous, almost agitated, energy is rolling off of him as he paces in the courtyard.

When he catches sight of her, he stops, a warm smile breaking across his face, though Y/N feels that it doesn't quite reach his eyes. But the new knowledge that Remus has a dimple on his left cheek and his smile is just slightly crooked is enough to disarm any wariness. Unexpectedly his nervous energy seems to dissipate immediately. "Hi," he says, "You came."

"I got your note," Y/N says, inwardly grimacing — of course he knew that already, he had been sitting next to her.

"Right, well, I, er—" Remus begins choppily, his hand rising to rub at the nape of his neck. "I was wondering about... Earlier, last week, when you saw me... Did you say anything to anyone?"

Y/N blinks at him once, then twice, blankly. "Earlier?" She questions, before the heat begins to rise to her face. He must have been referring to his confession. "I haven't said anything to anyone."

Remus's brows furrow for a moment before his face relaxes. He's surprisingly difficult to read — it feels as though any trickle of emotion is covered with a disarming soft smile. "I see," he says after a moment, his shoulders relaxing. "Right, well, Y/N," he begins, looking around them distractedly. "—shall we date?" Y/N straightens with a jolt as he continues. "I won't be offended if you say no. In fact, I'd understand if you said no, we've barely—"

She doesn't know what it is exactly. Maybe it was the curious thought that Remus might not be the charming prince he seemed to be. Maybe it was the dimple in his left cheek. Maybe it was the way he said her name. But something in Y/N slipped through her confusion and the unceremonious nature of the whole thing, because she finds herself speaking before she can stop herself. "Yeah. Let's date."

Remus's face goes slack. He looks a little startled, Y/N thinks, like she's clubbed him over the head. "Are you sure?" He blurts, eyes widening a fraction. It's perhaps the most emotion she's seen him show so far. Y/N writes it off as nerves and incredulity.

She nods once, firmly.

"I guess that's settled," he says weakly with furrowed brows, though he looked neither pleased nor displeased.

— — — — —

Initially, Y/N and Remus are as awkward as can be. She's not sure if it's because neither of them have really ever been in a relationship before, but it feels clumsy in the beginning.

Their dates start off mostly as study dates in the library, but Y/N doesn't mind — to her pleasure, she finds that they eerily work well together and she likes the calm peace of Remus's presence while she's studying. She likes to think that he also finds comfort in her presence because it's become ritual for him to ask her about the book she's reading, and vice versa. In a few weeks, they start reading the same books. Maybe it's because they spend so much time together studying that it becomes gradually more comfortable.

When they go to Hogsmeade for the first time together, Y/N finds that they end up walking around the village and chatting nearly until curfew. She tells him about what it's like growing up with three brothers — "It doesn't seem very different from the Marauders," Remus observes with a wry laugh — and he tells her stories of how despite moving around periodically during his child, his mother always found a little corner in the yard to start an herb garden.

He does all the things she'd imagine a boyfriend might — Remus is a gentleman, expectedly. He holds the door open for her, gives her his jumper when there was a draft in the library, walks her back to the Common Room at night.

But, unexpectedly, it isn't Remus's soft smiles or considerate aura that Y/N finds herself straining to see. But it was when he threw his head back and laughed himself breathless at James holding his wand on the wrong end that Y/N found it impossible to tear her eyes away from him. Or when he shot her a dour look the first time she teased him on his illegible chicken scratch. Or when Remus cursed like a sailor when he knocked his ink pot over onto his parchment because he was always so uncoordinated and graceless.

It was perhaps impossible not to fall in love with Remus Lupin. Though maybe she already knew this from the start when he first looked at her, and even more so the first time he said her name.

She liked the way he would groan and complain and grumble as he stretched out his lithe limbs in preparation of helping Peter with his essay that he had procrastinated on, even after she could see the exhaustion begin to pool under his pretty eyes. She liked that he could silence the boys with just one baleful look. She liked the way he fell asleep on his books when he thought no one was looking. She liked his dry remarks and his wolfish grin and his grumpy mood. She liked all the rough edges that Remus showed her when he would forget to put up a soft smile.

It was too easy to love Remus Lupin, though it seemed like he didn't know that himself.

It only takes four full moons for Y/N to understand what the Marauders meant whenever they quietly referred to Remus's furry little problem. In the first place, they weren't always discreet — it was easy for them to forget she was there when she was studying in the background. In the second place, Remus would apologetically cancel their studying plans around the same time each month, and he would disappear for a few days and come back exhausted with fresh scars. It wasn't difficult to put two and two together, really.

But while she understood why he didn't tell her, she couldn't help but give him a tighter hug when she realized.

"Something wrong, love?" He had asked, reaching up to caress the back of her hair as she squeezed his abdomen.

"No," she had mumbled into his shirt, breathing in his familiar scent. She could feel affection swell inside her so violently she felt a little dizzy as she gave him another squeeze. "Just wish I could always be hugging you."

"No one's stopping you," Remus had responded dryly. She smiled into his chest as he rested his chin on the crown of her head. "Certainly not me."

— — — — —

When Y/N tries to discreetly deliver a small care package of chocolate and books a few nights before the next full moon, she accidentally overhears Peter ask James when Remus was ending his fake relationship.

"I doubt it'll raise any suspicions now that no one's pestering him about not having a girlfriend," she hears Peter say.

James makes a noncommittal sort of noise. "You know how Remus is about these things. He's always on edge that someone will think he's the odd one out—"

She feels like the ground beneath her has stuttered and shifted into an open chasm as her mind whirls to make sense of their conversation. For a moment, she thinks she's wrong, but like it was with Remus's furry little problem, if she thinks back on the stranger moments of the past four months, it's not difficult to piece it together. She begins to feel a little ill.

How many times did he force himself to smile at her stories? How many times after walking her back to the Common Room at night did he sigh with relief when she left? How many times did he wait for other students to be around to hold her hand? All the heart-fluttering moments she had thought had been magical and wonderful and incredible with Remus had been entirely one-sided. How humiliating. She feels used and dirty and pathetic, but the worse thing is that she can't feel angry.

She doesn't know how long she stands paralyzed outside, just that it's difficult to breathe or think properly. All she can feel is a numbing ache in her chest, and the feeling tightens when she hears a familiar voice behind her.

"Hmm?" Remus hums, a smile breaking across his face. The dimple in his left cheek appears briefly. "What are you doing here, love?" When she doesn't respond, he steps closer to her and peers at her face carefully, his big, brown eyes soft. "What's wrong?" He asks, gently looping his arms around her waist. Y/N goes perfectly still under his touch. "I knew you'd be studying for the Ancient Runes exam all day, so got some cakes from the kitchen for—"

"Remus," she interrupts suddenly, her throat gone cottony and dry as she raises her gaze to finally look at him. It sends a sharp pang through her chest again. "Are we ever going to kiss?"

Bizarrely, scarlet splotches appear swiftly on the high points of Remus's cheek as his eyes widen a fraction. "Kiss," he repeats, sounding strangled as he stares at her wide-eyed, looking as though she had clubbed him over the head. "You want to kiss?" He asks after a moment, his voice hoarse as his eyes flicker down to her lips.

"Do you want to kiss me?" She asks quietly, watching his throat bob as he swallows thickly.

"I've wanted to since—" Remus says softly, a little nonsensically, his eyes darting back down to her lips. His pupils are blown wide and dark as he swallows, his throat bobbing. “Y/N,” he murmurs, and she can feel his breath brush against her nose. She tries to control the thumping in her chest as he slowly leans in and raises his hand to cup her face. Remus looks down at her with a sweet adoration she knows cannot be real. She's seen this sort of soft look from him countless times before and now she knows better than anyone that it's just another cover. Perhaps it was perfectly clear since the start, but she had let herself get swept away with naive hope. The start of nothing. She feels like a fool.

Remus's head ducks slightly as the space between them closes. Y/N goes perfectly still as she watches his other hand rise, his fingers trembling a little as they reach to curve around her jaw.

For a moment, she entertains the thought and wonders what would happen if she just closes her eyes. She could close her eyes, could lean in and feel his eyelashes brush her cheek, could let him kiss her senseless. It would be so easy. It scares her a little how much she wants that.

Before she can betray herself, Y/N closes her hand around his wrist. “You can stop now,” she says, her voice low and steadier than she felt.

Remus freezes, his dazed expression crumpling in confusion. She takes a steadying breath, swallowing back the bile in her throat as she schools her expression with difficulty. Y/N places his wrist back down away from her face and lets go as she continues, despite the dull ache in her chest. “I wanted to know how far you would go,” she continues quietly. “How far you thought I would be willing to go.”

“I don’t understand—” Remus begins, a myriad of stricken dismay, alarm, and something else flickering across his face. For a moment, she thinks it’s the residue of desire, but she quickly remembers how good of an actor Remus is, and doesn’t let herself entertain that thought that it’s anything else besides panic for being caught.

"I know you're just using me," Y/N says, her throat dry. Her voice, to her mortification, cracks and comes out as a croak. Any sense of anger deflates immediately and all she can feel is this crumbling sense of defeat. “I should have known that something was strange when you suddenly confessed. We had never even really talked before that. I mean, I thought that I was dreaming when you said you liked me—"

“No, it's because—”

"I know why you did it," she whispers. Remus freezes, the color draining from his face. "The worse part of all this is that I can't find it in myself to hate you for using me. But I had just thought that you didn’t think so little of me as to…” She doesn’t finish as she stares down at the space between them, swallowing thickly. She feels ill. The last sentence had come out before she realized it. So that was what it was — disappointment.

"Did you even know my name before James said it?" She asks with a bark of a forced laugh as she straightens, setting her shoulders now though she still has a difficult time looking directly at him.

Remus swallows thickly as he steps forward. His pause is enough of an answer. "Let me explain,” he begins quickly, his words tumbling out in a frantic mess. “Y/N, wait,” he starts, reaching out.

“Don’t touch me, Lupin,” she says dejectedly, stepping away from him. Remus flinches and freezes, his expression falling, but she can't bring herself to look at him in the eye anymore. Y/N stares at the worn patch of carpet by her shoe as she swallows thickly before turning to leave. "You can tell everyone that you broke up with me if it helps you."

#remus lupin #remus lupin fic rec #remus lupin angst

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