#Silver gets screwed over by comics and games

[the-firebird69]

I think we have an agreement coming up and it's on the electric car. We see that our women are excited. And we're starting to get that vibe that this car thing is pretty good. I have one it's a Fiat and it's selling like madness. The Hyundai is a little bit bigger but it weighs a lot and he says it's made up for in the size motor and battery it looked and it does actually make up for it. So we have two cars that are pretty decent I mean they're around 200 miles and that's what we were supposed to shoot for and people like it a little bit higher and we probably wouldn't get it in so now we're looking at making these Mass produce Mass producing them we have huge actions going on the don't do anything this is no they do for breaking out hardware and will probably go down in different locations and that's true. The empire is in for a surprise if we ever get over this massive problem and we may have helped make it that's the way it goes in the land of pirates as he said this morning I told his dad just take it easy and be a prayer and relax it's good too we needed it we heard it from him so we are going ahead and we are going to do the job you think it's going to get a radiation here and he's going to go stir It up which might make less and we hear it won't affect it too much but we think it will and he'll destroy a ship and that's true it's going to get irradiated but yeah there's several devices in one battlefield but the ship might be over it and it's not going to be over all of them it seems like he's blocking healing but really he's trying to block the radiation in other people are too.

We don't enjoy it that much but we can get over it Max don't have a such a good time. But really we can't take that much of it and he says he can't take too much of it unless it's off and on and it's not too high so we're going to go ahead with what we're doing and he's kind of happy but I didn't fill out a contest and it was for he thought it was Nissan and I looked and Nissan has Hyundai there so he read it on there somewhere people looked and said it was there and looked and it is there so there's a few things happening and that's crazy what if he wins the car I mean that's something but now I know the game it's got a lot of competition and he's probably going to start fighting this pseudo empire more and they intercepted all the time I was telling him too he says good information and I see you guys doing it but they're pretty big and I'll probably have a problem with it but at least I'll know that it's probably a waste of time and said yeah well it sounds like you're continue it even though it probably is which is bad news but that's what we're going to do I'm happy about today change is good. I like this Comic-Con idea that he's going to take like coasters and paint them silver and attach them to like a backer that goes on to the Camelback and it might put some kind of board in there it's going to be interesting see how he does it cuz those buttons have to like not move it has to be like part of the same thing I have an idea how to do it you just run some metal and attach it to it and then attach it to the backer panel it kind of move a little bit but not much there's a straps will hold it in that's an idea it says and you hold and it'll be like snug and I'm wondering what kind of metal he says and there's a few types and it can be pretty light I just make a frame and you mount it and it's a good idea so just thinking it take a backer panel some kind of handling material of some kind maybe even like a board that's 10 and that would look too bad his back is flat and attached one side and then you screw the other one on or you have quick connects like these things that you put through the hole and then you fold it over that would be pretty slick the whole thing would go on like that under the Camelback it's a weird idea it'll make it look real and it look like and he says they put the battery pack then you hook the battery hook the system up and you have to run the tubes it's quite a deal to get into the thing so you have to do it with someone maybe it says you can reach one here and you can reach one here so he's glad you talk to me and it's going to try and figure out what kind of metal and you know you can use sheet metal. It's all like pieces he says at the home Depot that's true and he knows how to bend it with like basic tools it would be a nice big like a little box real simple so that's an idea and I've seen the ones that glow people had put those on and the ones that sound are the best I've seen that too. It's intense and your idea that dispensive parties is great you probably get the roll when you're bigger and they say it too it's going to be pretty big. They have those things that Comic-Con when you lift weights and he was right up in there at the Tampa it's like 150 lb they do that so no one can lift it I've seen you lift the 70s without too much trouble and what you say is when you get up to the threshold you think so we could do it but your hand and your fingers can't hold it I've been there and it's true. You think it should be easy and then 10 10 lb under and you be okay but so that's a good time we're looking for a break from this routine with Trump who's driving he's driving me in a boat before that he came in as a worker I mean this is some horseshit this guy does

Bg

We're excited about this Comic-Con stuff especially if you get a car and I checked into it and you have a winning number and they usually require you to have the paperwork but he did register it and I'll tell you what they sent it to your place and you just say you lost it and he says I think it's in the recycling bin so yeah that would be something to check. So you see. These guys are moping around and doing nothing it's going to suck I don't want to just get picked up like you wear for the hospital freaking blue and I started doing it to us and it was awful. I think it'll be nice to Comic-Con I want to see you get bigger first and yeah your arms are pretty good size they're not huge though and you saying these guys got a little bit big Lou ferrigno was tall he was 7 ft something and his arms were like 22 or something and they were massive so these little guys are walking around with these humongous muscles and it does look a little odd and they don't stay there either so we're going to go ahead and print

Crissy

Olympus

[ninjapotatohead]

There aren’t enough words in the English language to quantify how much better Flynn wrote Frontiers than Pontaff wrote the past decade of Sonic.

One of the biggest sins of the Pontaff era was that, like clockwork, they would manage to write a plot that was hollow and inoffensive, and gave the characters all the charisma of a mason jar full of diseased human flesh. Every 2010s title was plagued with the same patterns and peculiarities because of the duo’s sheer inability to write anything compelling to an audience above the age of 10.

Pontaff never got it right and they certainly didn’t try to do it right. They played into every trope that watered down any potential a game may have had, and the series entered a limbo phase as a direct result. Even in their lone attempt at creating a remotely serious script in Forces, they went overboard trying to compensate with poor localization decisions and horrid execution of a concept that their Japanese counterparts gifted them on a silver platter.

Flynn, meanwhile, had years of experience under his belt and wasted no time carrying over his work on the comics onto the games. He understands character dynamics to a significant degree, and he’s never afraid to delve into the uncomfortable or even taboo in order to create something that creates a personal connection with its audience. That was another problem with Pontaff: you always felt like a passerby with no stakes in what was going on at any time. Flynn made sure to capture the feeling of being right there with the characters along their journey.

Pontaff also struggled with creating conflict. There was rarely rhyme or reason to whatever they decided would be the primary driver of dissidence between any two parties (Sonic and Tails’ schism during Lost World is one of the most notorious examples of this). With Flynn, you recognize why there is conflict and its ramifications even if not all of it is clear right away.

Pontaff were simply superficial and disengaged from presenting a cohesive and emotionally impactful story. Flynn, though not perfect, serves as the strongest antithesis to them.

And yet, Pontaff wrote a much better Eggman, had a much better understanding of Sonic and Eggman's dynamic, didn't just slap Spider-Man mannerisms onto Sonic expecting the same results, didn't whine like petulant children when told to write SEGA's IP how SEGA dictated, and thank fuck they never shoehorned in fucking song lyrics in place of actually writing dialog.

Also, Flynn has no understanding of Sonic and Eggman's dynamic whatsoever. People say he "gets the characters", yet conveniently ignore the many times he's screwed up with Eggman in the comics, made Sonic a blithering idiot waxing lyricals and going on paragraph-long tangents about his "principles", turns Silver into Steven Universe (something he just isn't in the games), turns Omega into HK-47, etc. And, speaking as someone who's read a bunch of all-ages comics that delve into more taboo subjects... Ian himself doesn't even do that very well. All he really captures is the feeling that he REALLY wants to write a Spider-Man comic, but got stuck with Sonic instead.

[thewaynemanner]

Wholesome BatFamily Fic Rec’s

Hey All, so here is my BatFam Rec List you all have been asking for! Lol jk no one has asked for this, but I made it anyways! So here are my All-Time Favorite BatFamily Fic Recs, for the most part these Recs are all rated either “G” for General Audiences or “T” for Teen and Up Audiences. So basically, all these fics focus on family dynamics and relationships rather than slash or anything like that. These are all truly amazing fics so give your Kudos and love to the authors! And remember to always read the tags before you read the fic!

And So This is Christmas by DragOnstOrm

Summary: It's not that Alfred isn't happy with his job. It's just that sometimes he really wishes that he had known what he was getting into when he signed up for it.

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 1,901

My Comments: Folks, stories don’t get much more wholesome than this fic. After reading this fic I was left warm and happy. Also, it stars my boy, Alfie, which is usually extremely rare for fics. Loved that we got to see Alfred’s perspective in this! Great fic!

Bedside Manner by @fishfingersandjellybabies

Summary: Sometimes Bruce forgot just how great his kid was.

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 2,985

My Comments: Anything @fishfingersandjellybabies writes is truly fantastic, but I particularly loved this one since it delved into the sweeter side of Bruce and Damian’s relationship that we don’t get to see often (especially in cannon). I love me a good hurt/comfort fic 😉

 Bet on it by @lysical

Summary: Even Damian could admit that his older siblings occasionally had their uses.

"I need your assistance," Damian said, voice low and tense.

"No," Jason replied, and hung up.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 2,495

My Comments: Lysical writes some of the best BatBrother Fics out there, folks. So if you want some wholesome and hilarious Bat sibling bonding, then look no further! Bet on it, is one of my personal favorites of Lysical’s. Great writing and great characterization!

Blood in the Water by MishaBerry

Summary: We all do stupid things when we are lonely, and in faraway lands, we hardly expect the consequences to follow us. Bruce certainly never thought twice about an American woman in Jaipur after one night with her. He hardly expected to see her ever again.

The universe, on the other hand, had different ideas, and the tides of time and chance brought Tim Drake to Bruce's life over and over again.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 181,939

My Comments: FANTASTIC AU! One of my favorite Tim Drake centric fics, but still has plenty of the rest of the BatFamily. I also love that we get to see Tim as his sweet six-year self. This story has it all, great characterizations, good plot, angst, fluff, and BatFamily bonding 😊

Cracked Foundation by @cdelphiki

Summary: The last thing Damian expected to happen when he ran away from home was to spend a day crammed into a small space with Jason Todd. His father's second son was a black sheep. An outcast. An angry, insanity driven criminal who enjoyed screwing with the batfamily in every way he could. At least, that's what Damian thought. Maybe he was wrong about Todd.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 20,902

My Comments: This is a brilliant fic that examines the relationship between Damian and Jason. I absolutely loved this fic and never wanted it to end. I truly wish there were more Jason and Damian Fics out there, I think it’s a character duo that isn’t explored nearly enough. If you love Damian and Jason brother bonding fics, you’ll love this one and if you’ve never read a bonding fic between these two brothers, you may just find a new love!

Five Times Jason Todd Saved His Brothers, and One Time They Saved Him by laceymcbain, reena_jenkins

Summary: “Did you know I was in here, or did you just blow up the place for fun?”

Damian didn't need to see Todd's face to know he was grinning under the helmet.

“It's not really a rescue unless something blows up. But if Bats asks, it was completely necessary."

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 6,923

My Comments: This fic is BatFamily feels to the extreme. Jason Todd deserves love and this fic gives it to him. LOVED IT <3 <3 <3

Fly By Night by @lysical

Summary: Damian is thirteen. Sometimes he even acts like it.

"This is an injustice," were the last words Damian had spoken to his father all day.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 2,889

My Comments: Another great Fic by @Lysical! This is just a plain ol’ fun Fic, y’all. Great Bat Brother love in this one and it also features my sweet summer child- Jonathan Samuel Kent. Trust me you will love this Fic, it is hilarious and all around good stuff 😊

A Good Place by @lemonadegarden

Summary: Damian Wayne is kidnapped and sent back years through time. Together, he and Father – who's only been Batman for a mere six months –must figure out how to return him to his own time.

Over the course of the next week, Damian discovers that Mexican gangsters do not mess around, that social workers find Bruce annoying, that Bruce might be a little messed up, and that crystal chandeliers create the fondest memories.

Oh. And Alfred has hair.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 36,903

My Comments: LemonadeGarden is one of my All-Time favorite authors, so anything written by them is brilliant. But A Good Place will always be a favorite of  mine, it is by far my favorite Damian & Bruce centric Fic out there and is something I have read over and over again. I love getting to see a younger Bruce interact with Damian and in turn, Damian interact with him. It’s overall great and has a fantastic plot!

Let There Be a Bruise by @audreycritter

Summary: Damian is a child who should not have the scars he does; Bruce is a father who has plenty of his own scars, but still wishes he could take his son’s, too.

The silver lining is where they find each other— a broken son and a broken father, putting each other back together.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 3,656

My Comments: Audreycritter is the master of Damián & Bruce Hurt/Comfort fics. I honestly would recommend all of Audrey’s fics, so check them all out! But this one will always be a favorite 😊

 Life Happens by @cdelphiki

Summary: While walking home from an event at Wayne Enterprises, Tim and Damian are kidnapped and sent to an alternate dimension. In a world where superheroes are merely comic book characters and the idea of the multiverse is only a theory found within the pages of science fiction, how are Tim and Damian going to return home? How long will they be stranded on this strange Earth? And will the boys murder each other before they figure it out?

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 176,966

My Comments: Hoo-boy, folks. I don’t even know where to start with this Fic. I honestly get teary-eyed thinking about how beautiful it is and how much I loved this one. My favorite Tim Drake and Damian Wayne brotherly bonding Fic EVER. I would almost describe this Fic as a love letter to the characters Tim and Damian, in the sense that the author captures their characterizations beautifully and tells one of the best stories of growth and familial love I have ever read. It’s fluffy, angsty, humorous, and full of BatFamily feels. And don’t worry, there is plenty of Dick, Jason, and Bruce as well (If not a little later in the story). I would run to this Fic, if I were you.

 Life, if Well Lived by CaptainOzone

Summary: Jason wakes up from a time-travel mishap to find Thomas and Martha Wayne hovering over him.

Just another day in the life, right?

...Not quite.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 10,758

My Comments: A Fic that destroyed me in the BEST way possible. Tears, so many tears were shed during this fic. The best Hurt/Comfort fic I have ever read. Extremely unique in the sense that Martha and Thomas Wayne are two of the main characters and boy did I love it! I can not stress how AMAZING this Fic is. I never knew I needed this fic in my life until I read it. I wish I could re-read it for the first time all over again. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!

My Brother’s Keeper by Forever_A_Thief

Summary: The boy had two options, two roads stretching out before him: stay with Mother, and become the greatest assassin ever known to man, or go to Father, and become a masked vigilante fighting for justice in a city drenched in darkness. Damian looked at these two roads, these two lives he could lead, and decided on a third path for himself instead. He chose his own road.

Jason never let himself think about the kid he had left behind at the desert compound all those years ago. When Talia never got in touch with him after his return to Gotham, Jason had assumed he had just been forgotten like he had been in Gotham. But then that kid, his little brother, showed up one night and Jason couldn’t just continue to push him to the back of his mind. Not anymore.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 43,907

My Comments: Did I mention I love Jason & Damian fics? Well I do and this one is beyond FANTASTIC. Overall great Bat-Bros fic that I would recommend over and over again.  This fic is Damian and Jason centric but it does involve the rest of the Bat Family too. I love seeing all the brother’s bonding in this fic and the overall family feels 😊

 Of Owls and Assassins by Cirth

Summary: "Dick," Bruce says, not entirely sure how to react, "who is that?"

Dick blinks at him from his place on the workout mat. There's a broken plate with mac and cheese strewn all over next to him, as well as what seems to be Bruce's old G.I. Joe action figure from the attic. It looks like a child's imagining of a murder scene. "My owlet," Dick states.

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 853

My Comments: The adorableness of this Fic is off the charts. I love AU’s where Dick is a Talon, but this one will always hold a very special place in my heart since Dick is just so pure in it. Forever a favorite <3

Party Games by @lemonadegarden

Summary: I can't believe you got into a bar fight at two in the morning. And now you're all in prison. The night before your wedding. What the fuck kind of a family am I marrying into?” Selina said.

Bruce Wayne goes to a series of bachelor parties, each one worse than the last. Set in the same timeline as We, So Much Older, but can be read as a standalone fic as well.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 12,659

My Comments: Okay, so technically this is a Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne Fic and even though the plot premise revolves around their upcoming wedding, I wouldn’t really consider this a “slash” fic. There is definitely more BatFamily vibes with this fic. It’s hilarious, fun, and oh so wholesome! I love this fic beyond measure and even if you aren’t a fan of the BatCat ship, I highly suggest you give it a shot for the amazing BatFam moments.

Second Chance by @cdelphiki

Summary: When Talia al Ghul watched her toddling son start his training, his awful, grueling training, she had an epiphany:

The League of Assassins was no place for children.

(Or: Talia realizes training literal babies is abuse and gets him out of there.)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 6,461

My Comments: This is the Talia al Ghul we deserve! This is the Talia al Ghul, Bruce Wayne deserves! THIS IS THE TALIA AL GHUL, DAMIAN WAYBE DESERVES! Loved this fic, great Talia al Ghul characterization. It’s the Talia that could have ben before DC slaughtered her character.

 Running Headlong into My Arms by gleesquid

Summary: Bruce doesn’t like to credit one thing for saving his life, but if he did, it would be Haly’s Circus that Friday night in September, just as summer was beginning to die.

(He'll always be a sucker for kids with sad eyes, no parents, and more fight than the world knows what to do with.)

Or: in a universe where superheroes don't exist, Bruce Wayne finds his family.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 54,231

My Comments: I feel like this fic is a right of passage into the BatFamily fandom, so if by some chance you haven’t already read it, I highly suggest you move this straight to the top of your reading list. It’s a classic and has everything you could ever want in a BatFam Fic.

 we are not alone in the dark by @audreycritter

Summary: Damian has a flashback on a family camping trip.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 2,218

My Comments: A BatFam camping trip, need I say more? One of my favorite hurt/comfort fics involving Damian. We get to see some super sweet moments between Bruce and Damian, and Damian and Jason. Loved it.

 Where You Go, I Follow by @fishfingersandjellybabies

Summary: In some world, Dick Grayson was never revived by Lex Luthor, and was probably better for it.

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 1,427

My Comments: BROKE MY HEART, but in the best possible way. I cried both sad tears and happy tears for this fic. LOVED IT! I have read it at least six times (I’m going read it again after I post this rec). A fantastic Dick & Damian story. I also love the title; it captures the mood perfectly. I’m always a sucker for fics that are inspired by songs, this one was inspired by ‘I Will Follow You’ by Toulouse!

Video message incoming by helenabertinellis

Summary: The League are just wrapping up their meeting when a call comes through the Watchtower servers.

It's for Batman.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 1,228

My Comments: I consider this a classic BatFam fic, so I will be shocked if you haven’t read it, but on the off chance that you have not read it, GO READ IT NOW. It’s humorous and all so wholesome 😊

Yesterday’s Voices by @lemonadegarden

Summary: While trying to take down a drug cartel that deals with memory altering drugs, things go awry, and Batman wakes up with no recollection of the last five years.

As a result, his family must now race against time to find the antidote, while also having to deal with a Bruce who still thinks Jason is Robin. A Bruce who doesn't recognise most of them. A Bruce far less jaded and cynical than the one they're used to. A Bruce who still cares.

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 49,000

My Comments: Surprise, surprise another amazing fic by LemonadeGarden. I will be shocked if you haven’t read this fic yet, but on the off chance that you haven’t, I am telling you now, to RUN to this fic. It will forever and always be my MOST FAVORITE BATFAMILY fic out there. I honestly wish this fic never had ended, it’s one that will always hold a special spot in my heart. THIS IS THE BRUCE WAYNE WE DESERVE.

For More Fic Recs Check-Out:

BatFamily Fic Recs part 2

BatFamily Fic Recs Part 3

BatFamily Fic Recs Part 4

BatFamily Fic Recs Part 5

[suoyou]

[wip] 凤凰涅槃; phoenix rising

incomplete wip. 9034 words, rated t.

wangxian court intrigue + wuxia + wingfic au, in which wwx is the lost phoenix and lwj is royal scholar. this is actually a collection of scattered scenes through the first act of the fic!

dwell too long in the fire and even the phoenix will burn.

Wei Wuxian holds a rotting mango in his hand. 

Pungent, slippery as an oiled wok and twice as dangerous, it’s just a few days too old for optimal flavor—but he does not plan to eat it. No, he’s going to throw it. 

A well-aimed piece of fruit and the right audience and a stomach just empty enough that the metallic edge of hunger has begun to bite makes for a good show. Wei Wuxian teeters like a gargoyle on the upturn of a roof, all his weight balanced in a crouch, waiting for the fishmonger to pass by beneath him. The market teems with citizens who have come early to buy the freshest kills and produce that the morning has to offer, the smell of frying jianbing wafts in thick curls up to Wei Wuxian’s perch. His belly rumbles. His last meal had been during sunrise the day before. 

“Fresh fish!” shouts the fishmonger. His mule’s head bobs dark and feisty as it tugs his cart along. Behind them, their wagon is crammed with quivering tubs full of water and writhing fish. “Fresh from the docks this morning! Fresh caught! Carp and eel and shrimp! Killed and scaled and gutted if you ask! Fresh fish!”

Wei Wuxian rocks up onto the knobs of his knees. The tiled roof digs into his skin--what are you doing here, flightless bird? His weapon of choice bleeds a thin, honeyed line of juice from his wrist to his elbow. He takes aim. 

A little commotion in a crowded market goes a long way. One spooked mule, one fishmonger, and a wagon full of uncovered tubs of live catches? What could go wrong? The sun hammers on his back, asking him what he’s waiting for. The mule’s flanks are exposed around its saddle and harness. Wei Wuxian screws one eye shut and sticks the tip of his tongue between his lips as he raises his mango, and--

“I’ll bet my daughter!”

A disturbance rises above the cheerful twang of the market below. It comes from the gambler’s stall, tucked away by the liquor stand. What a smart, slimy placement. 

“Is this man crazy?”

“What kind of father are you?”

“How disgusting, to gamble with your daughter’s life!”

Wei Wuxian frowns. Below him, the fishmonger passes, and the crowd molds around his wagon like ants around a snail. A pustule of a man hunches over the gambler’s stall with a girl of no more than nine or ten in his grip as he snarls in the proprietor’s face. His clothes are stained and dirty, and his eyes are yellow with jaundice. Anger flares hot as a kicked hornet’s nest in Wei Wuxian’s belly, muting the hunger, when the drunkard yanks on his daughter so hard that she trips into the table. 

Without thinking, Wei Wuxian shouts, “Hey, you, ugly dog at the gambler’s table!”

Dozens of heads turn to stare. 

Wei Wuxian lobs the mango with all his might. 

It whistles over the street like a lumpy, bulbous pigeon, dripping as it goes. The man is too drunk, or too hungover to move out of the way--he simply watches, jaw slack, not seeming to realize that he’s in the way until it splatters him square in the face and explodes in a shower of golden muck. He howls, clawing at his skin, and in the process lets his daughter go. She falls because she’d been unbalanced, hard into the street on her elbows. Some of the mango carnage had splattered onto her. Orange-brown bits drip off her chin like fat, gummy tears. 

The drunkard points a trembling, furious finger at Wei Wuxian. “You--!” 

“Me? What about me? Worry about yourself first. Worry about your daughter!”

A small crowd has gathered to watch the spectacle--this man, covered in sticky mango goo and attracting flies, and this vagrant shaking with laughter on the roof. He is so close to the edge, yet balances in place without any unsteadiness, with the surety of someone who is always in high places. 

“You are a coward, staying on the roof! Get down here and fight me with your fists, like a man!” shouts the drunk. His daughter tugs on his sleeve behind him as the crowd thickens.

“A-die, A-die, let’s go--”

“Let go of me, you useless girl.” He shakes her off. “Good for nothing, waste of space. Not even good enough for gambling money.”

Wei Wuxian frowns. A hushed gasp races through the bodies below as he stands and tips from his perch on the roof, tumbling once before alighting in the street. His shoes stick to the pavement from the tack of juice. The man barely makes it up to his chin, and his skin is splotchy from alcoholism; his clothes are patches which means he had family members whose kindness he did not deserve at home. 

“What,” says Wei Wuxian, tucking his hands behind his back. He’s not above mango-throwing, but he’s not going to fight a man in front of his young daughter. Now that’s just bad manners. “You really want to fight me? Just take my advice, sir. Go home. Take your daughter and your money and buy some food, and go home. Don’t make me throw another mango at you. That was going to be my lunch.”

“I’m not scared of men like you. Arrogant and scornful, just looking for a fight! I ought to break your--”

Wei Wuxian intercepts the man’s fist before it can connect with his face.

He fights like a commoner would, crude and unpolished, with his thumb tucked inside his fingers. Rookie mistake. His eyes bulge like a frog stepped on as he tries to force his way through Wei Wuxian’s grip, face turning the color of puce as he fails comically. Wei Wuxian digs his nails into the back of the man’s hand, trembling with the effort of holding him in place, and then he shoves him back. 

The man goes sprawling in the street, and the crowd shuffles back, as if to avoid a particularly filthy swine. 

“A-die,” says his daughter, trying to help him up, but he swats at her. “A-die.”

“Go.”

Not without spitting at Wei Wuxian’s feet. He simply laughs, because it’s such a silly, juvenile thing, and then, like an infection clearing, the citizens around him scatter back into the day. 

Wei Wuxian claps his hands together, then wipes his palms on the seat of his robes. “You really ought not to entertain patrons who have clearly started to lose their control,” he says to the proprietor of the gambling stall. They wipe down the edges of their table with a dusty rag where the carnage of fruit clings. “Soon he will trade his whole family away for nothing but a nugget of gold.”

The proprietor scoffs. “And who are you?”

“Someone nice enough to clean his mess up. Sorry for this, by the way,” says Wei Wuxian. He starts straightening sacks full of supplies--coin bags, a set of rings, vases clinking fluted and musical against each other. They must run a games stall elsewhere in the city; Wei Wuxian has seen these prizes before. 

“Who asked you to be a vigilante, anyway.” The proprietor shakes his head. “You look for trouble, boy.”

“The only thing sweeter than trouble is justice,” says Wei Wuxian, laughing at the distaste the proprietor levels at him. He chases a few escaped scrolls that have tumbled from their sack.  “Ah, don’t be like that. I really am sorry, I didn’t mean to interfere with business, okay? I just don’t like to see--”

One of the scrolls has unfurled enough for Wei Wuxian to catch a glimpse of the ink painting. Beneath the glimmer of midday sun the paper is so buttery that Wei Wuxian expects for his fingers to come away slick when he picks it up, letting the scroll’s weight pull the painting the rest of the way open. 

The brushwork is unfamiliar. Mountains studded with frosted clouds, a lake, a tiny figure of a man at the silver waterline. A spray of peonies cradles the scene in its petals, done with a brush so fine that the artist could have drawn it with a single human hair. Wei Wuxian doesn’t recognize it--not the art. He hadn’t opened it for the art. 

A red seal dots the corner of the painting like a button of blood. Wei Wuxian would recognize it anywhere--anyone should recognize it anywhere. Being in possession of something with a seal like this, without explanation, could earn an axe to the neck. 

“Sir,” he asks, staring at the painting, “how did you come across a painting done by the imperial family?”

The proprietor’s eyes widen, and they make a wild lunge for it. Wei Wuxian is taller, though, and jerks it out of reach, rolling the scroll back up so the paper won’t tear. “Give it back!”

“Aha! What is it? Tell me. How did you come across a treasure like this?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Hmm. So if I simply walk away with it, you will also simply shrug, and let me be on my way?” Wei Wuxian raises his eyebrows when the proprietor glowers. “Ah, so it mustn’t be nothing. Not with a look like that. Do tell.”

“It’s none of your business.”

Wei Wuxian chews on his lip, smiles. His stomach rumbles, already two cartwheels ahead, but he needs to slow down and think. “Can I pawn it from you?”

“I’d like to see you try, boy. Give it here!”

Wei Wuxian sighs. “I would not try. I would give it back to you, if you asked nicely, but oh--oh, the danger of another person knowing that you have a painting with an imperial stamp on it, with no way to explain how. Unless you’d like to tell me. But you’ve made it clear as day that you’re not interested in letting me know, so you’ll just have to let a stranger go, knowing he carries this secret, not knowing who he is, not knowing what he’ll do.” He holds the scroll out now. “But of course, I cannot take what’s mine. Shame. Here you are.”

The proprietor had listened to him speak with a vague, mounting fear in his eyes, and when Wei Wuxian shakes the scroll at them, they shrink back as if he’s shaking a dismembered arm at them.

“What, don’t want it now? Didn’t you want me to hand it over?”

“What are you playing at,” the proprietor asks. “Are you a palace spy? What do you want?”

Laughter leaps from Wei Wuxian’s mouth. “Me, a palace spy? Oh, no, no, no. I’m afraid not. Palace spies have much more important things to do than to sniff out thieving proprietors. Tell you what. I take this off your hands and you don’t have to worry about your neck, or your family’s necks, and in return, I won’t tell them where I found it. Hm?”

“You plan to give it back to the imperial family?”

“Of course,” says Wei Wuxian. “All things return to where they belong in the end.”

So as it goes, Wei Wuxian is one mango poorer, but one imperial painting richer, and he cannot tell if he is better off for it. He tucks the scroll into his knapsack and the key that hangs around his neck back into his collars and scans the market for weak spots, opportunities to win more food than he has money for. The rotten mango had been stupid luck, and luck is a finite resource which Wei Wuxian does not have much of to begin with, so he’s going to have to work for the rest of his food today. 

A surreptitious scrap of pink peeks out from behind the liquor stall and Wei Wuxian only catches a glimpse of the girl before she tucks herself behind the wooden beams again. Oh--the drunk’s daughter. She’s alone now. Irritation bubbles in the pit of Wei Wuxian’s stomach when he pictures the man shaking her off, lumbering towards another gambling stall that will entertain his time, and he has half a mind to--

“Fresh meat buns! Made this morning. Pork and chicken and mushroom!”

Wei Wuxian catches up to the bun cart, falling into step with the vendor. “Shifu, how much for one?”

“One bronze piece for three.”

“Can I get five for one bronze piece?”

“Are you deaf or just stupid? No. Get lost.”

“Please, shifu,” Wei Wuxian says, he gestures behind himself in the direction he’d seen the little girl, “my daughter, she hasn’t eaten in days, and we’re here to see the doctor and he turned her away on account of the fact that we have no money, and she’ll only get sicker if she doesn’t have any food in her system, our family is still waiting at home, please have mercy--”

“Heavens! Good heavens, fine, here! Take these misshapen ones, they’re an eyesore, anyway.”

“Thank you!” Wei Wuxian fishes the bronze piece out of his money pouch, fingertips poking through the holes in the bottom like eyes, and collects his spoils. “Thank you, Shifu!”

“Get outta my sight.”

Wei Wuxian holds his armful of buns to his chest, and their heat warms him through his clothes down to his bones. It’s a relatively cool day, even for autumn. When he turns around again, the girl scrunches herself back into the safety of the shadows, and he chuckles to himself. The liquorist eyes Wei Wuxin warily when he approaches, but he simply seats himself on the other end of the stall and opens his carrying cloth full of lopsided buns. Ugly, unwhole, but still good for hunger. Still good. 

“Could I interest you in a bottle of rice wine?” 

“Ah, no, it’s fine,” Wei Wuxian flaps his hand. “I am not wont for liquor, but perhaps some company to share these buns with. I have far too many to finish on my own. But I don’t know who’d want these ugly buns. Certainly not you, Shifu, I’m sure?”

The girl peeks out from behind the stall, and Wei Wuxian smiles. “Want one?”

She scampers to sit down in front of him, reaching out with sooty hands for a bun at the top of the bile. The skin of it is pearly in the noon sun, giving under touch, the way only fresh steamed buns are. Then she hesitates, looking into Wei Wuxian’s face as if expecting to be struck.

“Go ahead,” he says, holds the bun out. “Eat.”

She snatches it and crams half of it into her mouth, and Wei Wuxian chuckles again. He knows hunger like this, and takes his own portion to tear into. The sweet smell of pork and mushroom and oil floats up into his eyes, and for a moment the meat sears on his tongue before it settles into a taste. 

“Is it good?” he asks.

She nods. 

So it’s good.

“Where have you been? Wei Wuxian, I ought to cut you off at the kneecaps! A-Jie’s been worried sick, you were supposed to be back over a shichen ago.”

“I ran into a friend, Jiang Cheng. Lighten up, will you? Here, I got buns.”

“Keep your stupid buns. Where’s the fish you were going to get?”

Wei Wuxian scratches at the back of his neck. “Ha. Well, about that.”

“Seriously? I can’t believe you. If it weren’t your birthday, I really would cut you off at the legs.”

“But it is, so instead, you need to be nice!” Wei Wuxian crows triumphantly. 

Jiang Cheng sighs, a gust of hot summer wind that picks up stinging sands. A wisp of his hair flits with his breath. He’s wearing his nice clothes, no doubt because A-Jie made him, with a polished belt tucked around his waist like the coil of a sleeping snake. It’s a formality that they hardly ever bother with anymore, not in such a provincial town as this, leading a life as threadbare as theirs. The shine of the buckle comes off of him in bright flashes. 

“Whatever. Come on, A-jie made noodles. Where’d you get buns?”

“Oh, so you do want one. Here, I know you like chicken.”

“Don’t tell me you managed to snatch all of these,” Jiang Cheng asks, but he takes the one Wei Wuxian offers anyway. “Who likes chicken,” he mutters, mostly to himself.

“I just harnessed a talent that you have never quite mastered, Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian says. “Charm.”

“I ought to smack you.”

“There was a hungry kid. I didn’t want her to go hungry.”

Jiang Cheng is quiet. “We all are, why go help a stranger?”

“Wouldn’t you have wanted someone to help us back then?”

At this, a grunt. Which, coming from Jiang Cheng, is as enthusiastic a yes he’ll give, so Wei Wuxian smiles to himself and slings his sack of food over his shoulder. He’s down to two now, and he figures he’ll just give both of them to A-Jie who deserves much more than two pork buns, but it’s the best he has. One day he’ll get her expensive candied mangoes and hawthorn berries that the baker makes in the market in the next city over--the one that glitters.

“A-Cheng, A-Xian! You’re back!”

“Found him scaling the wall back into the hutong,” Jiang Cheng grumbles. “Punk.”

Jiang Yanli, too, is wearing her nicest set of robes today, with a hair ornament that Wei Wuxian hasn’t seen her with since the new year. Her face clears of worry when she sees them, and she reaches up, straightens a lock of Wei Wuxian’s hair where it’s caught over his ear. “A-Xian, you’re not--you know that you shouldn’t--” 

“Scale walls, climb to great heights, jump off roofs, I know, I know,” Wei Wuxian says, vividly recalling that he has done all of the above and then some today. “Sorry to make you worry, A-Jie, I’m fine! I got you buns. You can have them both.”

“But what about the fish? A-xian, we were going to make one for dinner for you.”

“Ah, fish or no fish, it’s no matter. Noodles are good enough. As long as I can live a long life, luck will always come back around.” 

“What if your whole life is plagued with bad luck?” asks Jiang Cheng as they duck back into their hut of clay and brick. The curtains are open, a rare moment of Jiang Yanli letting daylight peek inside, and it lights up their matchbox home in a wash of sunset. Bowls of steaming noodles are set out on the rickety slice of table, with the biggest in front of the seat where Wei Wuxian always sits. His heart swells. He’ll be forcing mouthfuls of noodles into his siblings’ bowls when they sit down, he’s sure, but for now his heart is the pulse of afternoon sun in the window. 

“Then my next life,” says Wei Wuxian. “My next one won’t be nearly as bad.”

The Lost Phoenix is lost. I think that’s the point. No one will ever find them. You will die looking for them.

Wei Wuxian is built from broken things. 

He sees rubble and thinks, that is a home. He sees blood and thinks, that is a heart. He sees himself reflected in the slow meanders of swamp-green lakes lazy with dragonflies and skeeters and tries to remember, that is a human, that is a human, that is a human.

“You may not be human, but that is what makes you worth loving,” is what A-Jie says. 

“You? A human? With an appetite like that? It’s like trying to feed a void with you,” is what Jiang Cheng says, which is basically the same thing. 

Wei Wuxian is built from broken things, but the uglier, eyesore-pork-bun truth is that he is born from destruction. He is born from the fire of things, and the ashes of himself; his body waits for the wither. 

The Lost Phoenix is dead. His ashes were scattered in mountain, sea, and sky.

The Lost Phoenix is alive! Everyone knows that leaving behind but a single ember can spark a wildfire. Fire has wings.

No human, ghost, or demon has ever seen the Lost Phoenix. If they had, wouldn’t we have heard by now? They are only a legend.

There are scars on his back to prove what he once was and never will be again, and Jiang Yanli tells him, The world was not ready for you. The world, perhaps, will not be ready for the Lost Phoenix to return for as long as we still walk upon it, A-Xian, but maybe when one day when everyone is gone, when A-Cheng and I are gone, you’ll--

He always cuts her off there. Usually he can’t see her face, because she’ll be sitting behind him and rubbing oil into the muscles that can never seem to loosen around his shoulder blades, the ones that line the edges of the scars like mottled mountain peaks. Just two of them, in straight lines as long as a hand, glaring at each other over the expanse of his back, the winding groove of his spine. Phantom pains. Human or not, the body will miss limbs when they are gone. 

Tonight, Jiang Yanli does not tell him the world isn’t ready for him. It hurts to listen to her say it, because it’s not a pain that Wei Wuxian can beat away with his fists or even his words. There’s a quiet noise of the bottle being unstoppered, then the cloying scent of liniment oil wreathing around him as he sits with his back bared to her, hair swept over his shoulder. 

“A-jie,” he says. 

“Hmm?” Her hands are small and warm against his back, and he hisses in pain when her finger catches on a tight knot immediately. “Sorry, Xianxian.”

“It’s okay. Uhm, I have a stupid question.”

“I’m sure it isn’t. Ask.”

“Which birthday did we celebrate tonight?” he asks quietly. 

The inside of their hut is a dark, uneven indigo now, the fires of the village filtering in through their window. Jiang Cheng has gone to bathe, so the only answering noise above the sound of a city settling in evening is Jiang Yanli’s soft laughter. 

“Your thirty-first, A-xian.”

“How many years have passed in this life?”

Her hands disappear as she dabs more liniment oil onto her fingers. “Since your reincarnation?”

“Yeah.”

“Thirteen.” 

“Thirteen,” Wei Wuxian repeats. “Thirteen.” He rolls it over his tongue, trying to figure out how it tastes. Bitter, a little. like medicine. Maybe it’s the liniment. Jiang Yanli runs her thumb down the edge of one of the scars, massaging out a few particularly gnarly knots there. 

“Is there something wrong?” she asks. 

“Not wrong, exactly.” Wei Wuxian pushes his fingers into his folded robes in his lap, pretends the fabric is sand and silt at the bottom of a lake. He almost expects handfuls of snails when he pulls them back out. “It’s just that, with every passing year, I think maybe this is it--this is the year I’ll remember. This is the year I’ll remember the things about my life before this one. Remember when I tried to teach you and Jiang Cheng how to catch fish with your hands, in the river, A-Jie? You said you could see them beneath the surface, but when you’d reach in to grab it, it was like the fish were never even there.” 

“I remember,” says Jiang Yanli. She is quiet, waits for him to go on. 

“Trying to recall my first life is like that. I know it happened. I can see it right there, flickering under the water, but. But each year comes and goes, and not only do I not remember anything, it feels like more and more of what I thought I could remember slips away,” says Wei Wuxian. “I was excited in the eighth year of this life. Then I was excited in the twelfth. Thirteen is no good, is it, A-Jie? I’ve run out of lucky numbers to count on.”

“Would it make you happy to remember, Xianxian?”

“I think so. When I think about it--it’s funny, you know. Maybe you know. I can’t recall memories from it, exactly, but when I think about my first life, I think I remember being happy. Like when you roll over and the sun is already up. You can feel the warmth on you even if you don’t see the light.” Then Wei Wuxian snorts. “That doesn’t make any sense. Sorry, ignore me, A-jie.”

“It makes sense. Of course it makes sense. Is that all you remember, a feeling?”

They’ve been over this before. A hazy, murky image of something from Before, dredged up from packed soil. Jiang Cheng will always say, “Who knows? Why do you think I would remember?” waspish, and Jiang Yanli would always give him a soft, “Perhaps it was, A-xian.”

“I remember,” he says, “that we were in a noble family, once.”

This is an easy one. She always says yes to this one. “We were.”

“I remember that the palace walls were lined with bronze, not gold like a lot of the common folk think.”

“Yes, they are.”

“The accident.” The one that has turned him into this. 

“I wish you did not,” says Jiang Yanli.

“I don’t--not really. I just remember the pain. My body does, anyway.”

“Muscle has memory,” she says. “But because you are who you are, so does your blood and bones.”

Wei Wuxian fiddles with the gap-toothed key that swings from his neck. It thunks hollowly against his bare chest without the robes to hold it in place, and he tugs the deerskin rope that loops around his neck so that the knot tying it together comes down, down, down, through the hole in the key, up, up, back up again, a miniature comet’s orbit. 

“You were a princess,” he says, quiet again.

“Princess is a strong word.”

“But you were.”

“In my own way.”

And then, the most solid memory he has—a figure in white, with hair that fell to their waist, holding a smudge of pink in their hand. Solid, but blurred, like Wei Wuxian is trying to see them through a sheeting waterfall. The lines of their body were straight and crisp, except for the pink. The pink was always soft, parting the mud of his memory. 

He doesn’t mention this one, usually. Wei Wuxian holds it close to his heart where it has roots. Year after year, no matter the rains, nothing has flowered. Seasons have passed. 

“A person,” Wei Wuxian murmurs. 

Jiang Yanli’s hands slow. “Who?”

“I don’t know,” says Wei Wuxian. “Just a person. Their back is to me, so I can’t see their face, but it’s too blurry for me to see them, even if they’d been right in front of me. And they were just standing there--just standing. Nothing else. I don’t even really know if they’re real, but it’s the best memory I have.” He digs his nail into an indent in the key’s teeth. “Do you think they were real, A-Jie?”

“As real as the Lost Phoenix is.”

Wei Wuxian laughs weakly. “The Lost Phoenix is as good as myth.”

A myth meant to scare people.

A cautionary tale.

“The Lost Phoenix needs to stop squirming, or I will poke the sensitive parts of his scar, and I know he hates it when I do,” Jiang Yanli says. 

A story about a monster.

“Maybe it’s better to forget some things, A-Jie.”

“A-Cheng and I only want you to be happy, Xianxian. Whatever that means to you. Whether that means remembering or forgetting.”

“I want to remember, because your happiness is my happiness,” Wei Wuxian insists, turning around. Jiang Yanli lifts her hand away as he rearranges his legs in a half-lotus, one foot stretched out onto the floor. “I want to remember because I know this life isn’t one you and Jiang Cheng would have chosen if you both had a choice. You can’t say I’m wrong about that. No noble family member would choose to live in a rundown hutong if they had a choice.”

“A-Xian--”

“I know you won’t tell me what happened before my reincarnation,” says Wei Wuxian. “I know you want to forget. But if anything ever happens that means we can go back to it--you have to say so, okay? You both are the only family I have left. Let me do something for the people who have somehow kept me alive for thirty-one years. I can’t remember eighteen of them. As if I started reading in the middle of the story. There are things I know without knowing how I know them.”

Whether it be a story, a tale, legend, or myth, one thing was certain: the Lost Phoenix is the last known survivor of the Phoenix Rising, once the most revered noble family of the imperial city, the warrior family that protected the throne. 

Forged from the Sacred Fires of Scarlet Mountain, the Phoenix Rising once was so formidable that simply meeting one of them in their true form was a sign of luck and good fortune. They were, as their family name suggested, bewinged humans who lived and died and rose again from their own ashes. They were skilled in combat, nimble in war, with the ability of flight. They harnessed Taoist magic that was only spoken of in books. 

A secular world did not have room for magic.

“Our A-xian,” says Jiang Yanli, shaking her head, “always hurts himself trying to make us happy before he remembers he has a heart, too.”

“Ah, what good is a heart if I can’t deal it out in pieces for my didi and my jie?” says Wei Wuxian. “It’s not like anyone else has any use for it.”

“That’s not true,” Jiang Yanli murmurs. 

“Hm? What’s that?”

“Nothing, Xianxian.”

“You have my promise, A-Jie,” says Wei Wuxian. “It’s us three until the end. Never apart. If I can bring you and Jiang Cheng back to the glory days before this life, then I’ll do whatever it takes.”

She’s quiet, then dabs a light gauze over his skin to absorb the excess liniment oil. Both of them know it won’t be possible--even if they were a lower noble family, there wasn’t a ticket back into the royal city unless you saved the emperor from death or something equally as momentous. Save the empire, or something. Wei Wuxian dreams big, but he’s realistic. 

“Thank you, Xianxian,” she says, finally. 

“It smells like old people in here,” Jiang Cheng announces, as absurdly loud as new year firecrackers when he comes back inside. He smells of freshwater and sand, and he tracks an inky line of water where his wet shoes stamp footprints into the floors. “I know you’re another year older now, but you’re really getting started early.”

“If I’m so old, then you better talk to me with respect, punk,” Wei Wuxian says. Jiang Cheng may be loud, may be messy, but he chases away the strange, yearning sadness that tugs like a deep saltwater current on Wei Wuxian every time his birthday comes and goes. He loves his stupid, loud brother for it. “Hey! Where’s my kowtow? Where’s my ‘ge,’ then? Where’s my ‘Wei qianbei,’ huh? I’m so old, Jiang Cheng, pay your respects!”

“Screw you, Wei Wuxian. I’d sooner call you Old Man Wei. You’d have to rip out my tongue first.”

“Okay, come here then, my hands are free.”

“Gross! What’s wrong with you?”

And so night falls on another day, another year, and Wei Wuxian feels a little empty and a lot full, like a planet is breathing inside him. Jiang Yanli tugs on Jiang Cheng’s hair, makes him sit down so she can wrestle the tangles out of his drying frizz, and Wei Wuxian holds the lantern for light.

It’s enough. 

So what happened to them, the Phoenix Rising? Why have they disappeared?

Because they had power. Because they were loved, feared, and respected, all things an emperor should be.  

In the beginning, it was an honor to be the emperor that controlled the Phoenix Rising, for it took an equally distinguished ruler to command such a family, and for generations, the Phoenix Rising served the throne with grace. For generations, the empire was a glowing, golden city upon which the sun glittered, and the common folk called it the City of Gods. 

But at the end of a weak dynasty, the throne was seized by a bloodthirsty family that feared the Phoenix Rising and the power they held. People, monsters, kings, or gods? Did the citizens respect the throne? Or did the loyalty of their hearts lie with the strange, winged family that had for centuries been revered as the beacon of luck and fortune?

 Humans fear what they do not understand. Humans seek to destroy what they fear. 

And so the Phoenix Rising paid the steepest price.

“Did he mention it to you at all yesterday?”

“No! He never brought it up. That punk. I’m gonna wring his sorry little neck.”

“A-Cheng.” A rustle of wind through paper. Then, “We need to ask him where he found this. He could’ve been caught. He could’ve been killed.”

Wei Wuxian wakes to his siblings whispering. Whispers always come through dreams like shouts, and he’s having a very strange dream about walking through wire, except instead of coals at his feet, there is ash, and in the ash there are hundreds and hundreds of keys glinting red as squirting cherries. His feet are burnt and blistering, but he can’t run, can’t turn back, can only walk forward. 

There are no secrets in a single-room shack. No matter how quietly Jiang Yanli whispers, Jiang Cheng speaks loud enough to wake the whole town. 

“Nicked it, probably,” says Jiang Cheng now. A grudging respect colors his voice. “That’s probably why he took so long to get back yesterday.”

The bamboo sleep mat crackles beneath him as Wei Wuxian rolls over, then sits up. For a moment the world is a spinning top. Jiang Yanli turns, lowering something, and smiles when she sees him awake. Jiang Cheng, of course, is already swinging. 

“You dumbass! Where did you get this? If someone comes looking for it and finds it with us, do you know how dead we are?”

Then Wei Wuxian sees it--the painting that he’d charmed out of the hands of the gambling proprietor at lunch yesterday. Jiang Yanli holds it like a broken bird in her lap, and Wei Wuxian ducks when Jiang Cheng aims another swat at him. Mostly half-hearted, but he leaps to his feet and skips out of reach. 

“I was going to surprise you!” he says. “I didn’t even have a chance to tell you what I was planning. You don’t know how much money this could bring in the black market, Jiang Cheng, an imperial painting? Just think about it. I can just disguise myself, go at night--cover my face, you know--and we could stop living here. We could live in a real house, and we wouldn’t have to all share one sleeping mat.”

“A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli gets to her feet, too. Always graceful in a stark contrast to her two brothers, the lantern from which two wild tassels would dance in the wind. She lifts the painting up high so that she can point to the red seal in the corner. “Do you recognize this?”

“The imperial seal, right? Sure. Everyone does.”

“I’m going to puke blood,” says Jiang Cheng. 

Jiang Yanli ignores him. “You’re not wrong, A-Xian. But this is an imperial seal of a concubine.”

Wei Wuxian blinks. “Of the emperor?”

“Yes. Judging from the seal design, not just any concubine--she must be a consort, at least.” Jiang Yanli holds the paper closer to her face, trying to discern the characters. “Mo,” she mutters, unsure. 

“So we could sell it for even more money,” Wei Wuxian concludes.

“No, we are not going to sell it for money,” says Jiang Cheng. His face has darkened. 

“Are you crazy?” Wei Wuxian asks. “You said it yourself, if someone finds us in possession, it’ll be our heads. The faster we get rid of it, the less likely anyone is to know it ever passed through our hands at all.”

“Yeah, well, you probably should have considered that before you nicked it, genius,” Jiang Cheng snaps. “It doesn’t matter. Now that we have it, we’re going to use it.”

“Use it how, if not for money, then?” Wei Wuxian struggles to keep his voice low. Jiang Cheng is not making any gods damned sense--isn’t he the one who constantly talks about leaving this hutong under the guise of hating how cramped it is, when really, he and Wei Wuxian agree that they should move closer to the imperial city where there would be better houses and perhaps a respectable man for their sister to marry if she so wanted? 

“We’re going to use this to return to the imperial city.” 

A silence falls like a tree toppled in storm between them. 

“A-Cheng,” Jiang Yanli begins. 

“We are?” asks Wei Wuxian. “How would that even work?”

“You’re the best at telling lies.”

“Well, yes, I’m glad you have seen the light.”

“Think about it,” says Jiang Cheng. “An emperor's consort. It means she must have been in favor with the sitting emperor, Jin Huangshang. A painting with her seal on it. How would a painting by a favored concubine of the emperor end up out here?”

“Wound up in a gambling stall, no less,” Wei Wuxian says. Now that Jiang Cheng puts it that way--it’s more than a little strange. “Fine, say that we could use it as our golden ticket back into the imperial city. We’ll be lucky if the consort is dead. She won’t be around to ask any questions if there are holes in our story. What if she’s alive? What if she’s not a consort? What if she was hated, what then?”

“A-Xian,” says Jiang Yanli, setting her hand on his shoulder, and the touch is firmer than he’s used to. “Stop. You too, A-Cheng. Returning would be dangerous for us.”

“Dangerous how?” asks Wei Wuxian. There it is--that gap of the first eighteen years of his life rearing its mangled head. Sometimes it’s like trying to read a page of text with half the words blacked out, the ones left behind still beautiful, but without meaning. “A-Jie, I thought we were…”

“We were a lower noble family then, Xianxian. But it does not mean that the court is a safe place for any of us.”

“Jie!” says Jiang Cheng. 

“No, A-Cheng. We’re not going back. It’s not just for A-Xian’s safety, it’s for all of us.”

“Would we really be in that much danger?” asks Wei Wuxian. “If no one knows I’m the Lost Phoenix but the three of us, nothing would happen.”

Right?

“Jiejie,” says Jiang Cheng, his voice quieter than Wei Wuxian has ever heard it, “the Crown Prince has never married.”

Jiang Yanli’s face, for a dizzying heartbeat, is stricken. Something like pain and longing flashes through her eyes quick as the swing of an axe in cloudy morning, but then it’s gone, and she sighs. 

“What does the Crown Prince have anything to do with A-Jie?” asks Wei Wuxian. 

“That isn’t any of our business. Not even yours, A-Cheng,” she says. Wei Wuxian has never seen his sister like this, drawn up tall with her chin held high, and for a moment he sees the princess that she must once have been. Jiang Cheng, who is easily a head taller than her and twice as broad, crumples under the weight of her gaze. “We left because we wanted to. We’ve lived by this choice and we will continue to live by it. Now, both of you listen--A-Xian will do as he planned, sell this painting for whatever sum that traders will offer, and we won’t speak of it again. Understand?”

The tension swells like a fever between them. 

Wei Wuxian should be happy that his sister is on his side for this--when is it that she ever picks sides whenever he and Jiang Cheng argue? Any other time, he’d be hooting with laughter, rubbing it in Jiang Cheng’s face, but there is a deeply strange, melancholy expression on his brother’s face that does not suit him at all. 

“Fine,” says Jiang Cheng. He takes the scroll from Jiang Yanli, rolling it up with care, then shoves it into Wei Wuxian’s chest with considerably less care. “Get this shit out of my sight. I’m going out.”

Wei Wuxian watches helplessly as Jiang Cheng moves around their hut with jerky movements, jaw set with the pulse of anger. He gathers his knapsack and what meager rations of buns left over from the day before, no doubt stale and hard by now, and loops it around his shoulder. 

Then he’s gone, without another word. 

Wei Wuxian gnaws on the soft inside of his cheek. “A-Jie--”

“Don’t think too much about what A-Cheng said, Xianxian,” says Jiang Yanli. “He won’t show it, but he worries. You needn’t take what he said to heart.”

Jiang Yanli will say no more, no matter how hard he presses. He’ll press anyone until they give, but not her. She ducks her head when Wei Wuxian turns to her with his confused, hurt silence, as if she is waiting for his anger. He’d never be angry with her. 

“I don’t understand, A-Jie.”

“A-Cheng and I simply have different ideas of what it means to keep our family safe. He thinks it means returning. I think it means to stay.”

“But why would we be in danger?” he asks. “Does this have something to do with the Crown Prince? Did he know who I was? I guess so, or else why would Jiang Cheng bring him up? Did you know him? Could he help us?”

“No, he couldn’t.”

Wei Wuxian sets his mouth in a line. “Well, I should be off too,” he says. The sun has already started to burn back the clouds; he needs to find tonight’s dinner for the three of them. Maybe he should go after Jiang Cheng, press him for more details. Their sister, despite what anyone might think, gives far less easily than either of them. 

“Be careful, Xianxian,” she says. “Oh, are you taking the painting with you?”

“There’s no way I’m going to leave it here in case anyone finds it and you’re here by yourself. Worst case scenario, I throw it away, and we can pretend none of this ever happened.” He takes Jiang Yanli’s hands in his, squeezes them ruefully. “I’m sorry, A-Jie. I just thought it would help. I didn’t want you to argue with Jiang Cheng.”

“It’s okay.” She tucks his stray hairs over his ear. “Go. Come back safe, A-xian.”

He waves at her once when he steps out, and once more when he makes it to the end of the hutong and she becomes little more than a quilted patch of terrycloth in the distance, as he does every morning when he leaves. Jiang Cheng can’t have gone far in the time that he’s gone, unless he took off at a sprint, so Wei Wuxian lets the scented chill of autumn fill his lungs.

The Crown Prince. What a strange person to bring up. Wei Wuxian rifles through what he remembers hearing in taverns and pubs, filtered through the thick veil of alcohol. The Jin family sits upon the throne now, after staging a coup against the Wens and seizing power just over a decade ago. The Crown Prince would have to be a Jin prince. The Jin Emperor was said to be quite the philanderer and had more than enough sons from too many concubines to choose from. The Crown Prince must be quite a favorite, for an emperor with so many sons would not pay any mind to choosing the Empress’s sons if he so liked one from his concubine better. 

And this Crown Prince, according to Jiang Cheng, has never married. 

The look on Jiang Yanli’s face--frozen, bruised, a bird shot from the sky before it begins to plummet--was not one Wei Wuxian expected to see when she heard this news. If they’d known this prince, then he must have been around even before Wei Wuxian’s reincarnation. Jiang Yanli must have spoken of him. 

But all his memories can offer him are vague smudges of color and a person with pink like a fire in their hands. 

It’s too early for the fishmongers just yet, but the market brims with life as it always does. Wei Wuxian narrowly dodges a cart full of fresh flowers, a toothless grandfather with a bamboo hat pulling it along weakly. One of the wheels is crooked, wood squeaking against the stone pavement. 

“Shifu, your wheel,” says Wei Wuxian, plucking the canteen of oil tucked low against the cart. It dribbles out in a black splash. “There, that’s better, isn’t it?”

“Thank you, young man,” says the grandfather, and Wei Wuxian waits for him to turn his back to the street before plucking a lotus from the back of his cart and tucking it into his knapsack. For A-Jie, as penance for upsetting her so early in the morning. 

Jiang Cheng is not hard to find. He is poor at concealing himself, both in body and in voice, and he really is very bad at haggling. Wei Wuxian sidles up to him at a fruit stall, arguing with the vendor over a particularly ugly dragonfruit that looks more like a leathery handful of meat left too long in the sun than any respectable fruit. 

 “Now I think,” says Wei Wuxian, plucking it out of Jiang Cheng’s hand and ignoring his indignant scoff, “shifu, if you let this fruit sit out in your display, it would ruin the look of all the rest of your fruits. ‘Ah, look at this lovely display of dragonfruit. But what do we have here? A misfit! A miscreant! A monstrosity, really!’ And then you lose business. So really, we’re doing you a favor.”

“A favor?” says the vendor with disbelief. “What gall.”

Wei Wuxian laughs, then tosses the fruit back and forth between his hands and gives a quick jerk of his chin. “What do you say? Half off?”

“I can’t believe you weaseled him into giving it to us for less than half off,” says Jiang Cheng five minutes later. “You could talk your way out of your own--”

Wei Wuxian tosses his dragonfruit from hand to hand. “My own what?” Jiang Cheng’s knapsack hangs flat and sad against his back, crumpled like a dead leaf, so Wei Wuxian holds it open and drops the fruit inside. 

“Nothing. Never mind. What are you doing out here with that--thing?”

“Do you think I was going to leave it with A-Jie? No way. Imagine if she were alone and someone found her with it.”

Jiang purses his lips, nods. He tucks his thumb into the strap of his knapsack, a deadknot slung over his shoulder. “Have you thought about any stories?”

“What stories?”

“About what we’d say, if we brought it back to the imperial city.”

Jiang Cheng resolutely does not meet Wei Wuxian’s stare. 

“You want to go?”

“I just think that if we have a plan, A-Jie might be more willing to go. To be honest with you, if it were just to the two of us, it wouldn’t matter as much. We could sell the stupid painting, use the money. We could eke out an existence. It would fucking suck, but we could, and I wouldn’t feel guilty about it.”

“Ah, Jiang Cheng. You’re finally talking sense!” Wei Wuxian claps him on the back. When Jiang Cheng doesn’t shake his hand off, his smile falters. He must actually be worried. “Okay. We have to consider multiple scenarios, then, if we want this to be foolproof. We don’t want to make up a story where the concubine is alive when she’s dead. Or vice versa. So the first order of business is to figure that out.”

Jiang Cheng nods. “And what kind of favor she’s in with the emperor. The better, the easier for us.”

So, like peddlers, they spin their stories. 

+

The night blooms blue and foggy, the moon dropping light in handfuls of glass through the forest, and Wei Wuxian straightens to see that he is not alone. 

Someone else is in the mist with him. It’s thick enough that he cannot see their feet, so they could be floating. A man--just a bit taller than Wei Wuxian himself. His sword is drawn, lowered, as if he’d been pointing it before Wei Wuxian sensed him and stopped. The folded steel blade flashes. 

Blood sheets heavily down Wei Wuxian’s leg where the muscle has torn around the arrowhead, and haze sloshes in his skull. His brain is an upended bowl of goldfish. He grasps for words, for his thoughts, but they slip through his fingers. The stranger stares at him a bit in shock, a bit in horror, mostly in surprise. He opens his mouth. He closes it. He is wearing so much white he could be glowing, a star abandoned by its galaxy, and Wei Wuxian is the only one to find him. 

They stare at each other in the gloom. 

Wei Wuxian’s scattered goldfish thoughts say, Pink.

“Are you here to kill me?” asks Wei Wuxian. His words come out slurred even to his own ears. He needs to find Jiang Cheng. They need to get back to A-Jie. He needs to get out of here. 

“No.” The stranger steps towards him. “We mistook you for a prey animal. Are you badly hurt?”

“This? No, no. I’m fine. I need to go.”

“Your leg is injured.”

“It’s fine. I need to get back to--my wards,” Wei Wuxian says, catching himself before he says anything too revealing, pats himself on the back for staying in line even as his thoughts unravel. He picks his favorite story and sticks with it, hopes to any god that is listening it won’t get any of them killed. “My wards. They were with me. I was looking for Jin Bixia.”

The stranger has come so close that Wei Wuxian can make out every stitch of his robe. “What business do you have with the emperor?”

“I have a painting,” he mumbles around the haze. It’s a dark one, now. “My mother’s painting.”

Then darkness kisses his eyelids, and the night pulls him under. 

+

The scroll unfurls with the quiet hush of paper that has gone undisturbed too long. Even mounted on fine silk, the edges of the hemp and mulberry fibers have begun to wither, time nibbling as cruel and hungry as moths. The paper stretches on forever, nearly as tall as him fully unfurled. The cherrywood stick clacks upon the floor. 

Wei Wuxian’s mouth goes dry. He stares with seeing, then without comprehending, then without believing. 

The ink color has faded, like the paper, with age. Once the red might have leapt off the page, the greens so bright that spring grew from the painting itself, but all of it has flattened. It’s a simple composition. Where Mo Fu Ren had let her human subject be lost among the trees and sweeping landscapes, this painting is only one person, draped in textured golds and silk brocade embroidered with dragons. 

Simple, perhaps, but done by the hand of someone who held them beloved. 

His fingers shake when he reaches out. They hang back, and he pulls away, afraid that touching it might make the entire painting dissolve in his hands. 

Smiling serenely back at him is his own face, thirteen years younger, thirteen years less hungry—but it is him. His eyes are downcast, with a rabbit cradled in the crook of his elbow and a bird perched upon his shoulder. Without a doubt it is him. Even if he could not recognize his own face, the characters that march in little terracotta soldiers down the paper leave no room for guessing. 

The black ink is fresh, as if someone has run a brush through the strokes every year so that they can never fade. 

Wei Wuxian, they say. 

This can’t be right. He must be misreading. He blinks hard. 

His thoughts trip over each other’s ankles. They come in a clamoring flood, each wanting to be heard first, pored over first. Wei Wuxian. Had there been another before him? It is not a common name. It is not a name that would show up twice in the royal city if every noble family had the names of their descendants planned out for generations, no matter if the Phoenix Rising had been slaughtered by order of the emperor. Why is there a painting of him rolled up and locked away in the private study of Hanguang Gexia, second head of the scholar house to Emperor Jin? 

Did they once know each other?

How could it be that a key that Jiang Yanli gave him would unlock this desk?

There are corpses sleeping under their feet. This earth has been burnt and salted. 

An old ache starts in his spine. 

We were a lower noble family then, Xianxian.

Fire without coals. 

There was a person. Just a person.

Do not exhume these bodies. 

We left because we wanted to.

Something terrible must have happened to him. 

[onebadwinter]

The Joker Tropes Part 2

Taken From Here and here

Nether Realm Studios especially seems to love making Joker out to be evil incarnate. In Injustice: Gods Among Us and its sequel, he loses all his cred (and life) once he nukes Metropolis; Harley ditches him entirely, Batman just completely gives up on indulging him any more, even Guest Fighters like Hellboy consider him worthless, and non-Batvillains such as Grodd and Brainiac and even Darkseid loathe him for either Metropolis, or just in general principle. Mortal Kombat 11 shows that even the MK cast see him as a scourge upon the realms, and also express distaste toward him for either his nuking, a previous outing, or because he's seen as a buffoon who cannot be taken seriously (this is usually the case for other villain characters).

About the only person who can tolerate him for long is Lex Luthor, only because they both have the same level of hatred for their respective enemies. Even then, Luthor prefers to keep his distance from the Joker, if only because a bored Joker screws with everything For the Evulz.

In the animated series, he claims to have been beaten as a child when interviewed by Harley Quinn. It is unknown if this is true. According to Batman, he's simply making it up.

In one issue of New 52, he claims to have been driven insane by an abusive grandmother, who also bleached his skin to its present pallor.

In the same continuity, he is one to a baby gorilla he adopts, trains up as a gun-wielding henchman, and ultimately gets killed off for laughs.

In the comic book adaptation of Injustice, it's implied Harley fears Joker would be one, and gives their daughter to her sister, lest he kill the child. It's left ambiguous whether the Joker's even aware of the ruse.

Averted in one story, wherein one of Arkham's doctors realizes Joker's faking insanity just to piss off Batman as revenge for his disfigurement. Another doctor finds the report and excitedly reveals it to the current head doctor, only to learn that  the Joker left it for everyone to read, since the paper's written by Harley Quinn, and therefore worthless as evidence.

In Batman: The Man Who Laughs, it's established that the name "The Joker" was given to him by the media, and he liked it so much that he decided to call himself that.

The same happens in Joker (2019), where Murray tells the audience to "look at this joker" when talking about Arthur. Arthur took it to heart.

Batman: Arkham Knight takes this even further by revealing that being forgotten is the only thing the Joker truly fears.

Just to demonstrate how much disregard he has for his henchmen, a reoccurring motivation for offing his own lackeys is failing to laugh at one of his jokes. Or laughing too late. Or laughing for too long. Or laughing at the wrong joke. He's... unpredictable.

The Joker loves it when people laugh with him, whether genuine or not, but if someone laughs at him, they're most likely already dead.

Joker loves attention and being above the normals, so never imply that he's not interesting or unique. Terry exploits this flaw in Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker just to drive him to a Villainous Breakdown.

The Batman Who Laughs. Since the character's first appearance in Dark Nights: Metal, the mere mention of him is enough to put The Joker in an uncharacteristically un-jolly mood and is a good way to get on his bad side. In fact, the dislike of this twisted version of his archnemesis is so great, that when Lex Luthor and The Legion of Doom started cooperating with him against Joker's protests, he quit the legion (after non-lethally jokerizing every other member of it) in disgust.

If you're going to hurt Batman, do it right. One of the supplementary stories for Joker War had him beyond furious with Bane - to the point of promising him he'd kill him in a way he would never see coming - for showing so little imagination in killing Alfred in City of Bane without even letting Batman listen to it to torture him. By his reckoning, if you have a great gag to break the Bat, use it to break the Bat - don't blow it by having Robin be the only one to witness it.

Originally Conrad Veidt from The Man Who Laughs.

Later portrayals base themselves on his actors, with Cesar Romero a popular candidate, and after Jack Nicholson came in, artists such as Alex Ross base him on him, such as the actor's distinct widow's peak and slicked back hair.

During Knightfall he and Scarecrow killed several members of a SWAT team, and one of his last actions in Batman: No Man's Land was to kill Commissioner Gordon's second wife, Lt. Sarah Essen.

One of the alternate realities seen in Zero Hour! was one where he killed Commissioner Gordon instead of crippling Barbara.

Part of the reason Gordon takes over the post of Commissioner in both The Dark Knight Trilogy and Batman: Arkham Series is due to the Joker killing Gillian Loeb. Additionally, the first game in the latter series, Asylum, he sees several of Arkham's guards killed by him and his men.

He's holding a dead cop's corpse in his intro in Injustice: Gods Among Us and using it as a puppet. He also talks to the body of one of the Regime enforcers who captured him once he breaks out and heads to Gotham.

Whether he was driven insane or was already insane and became completely bonkers.

Where he is on the spectrum between "wacky prankster" and "utterly depraved and sadistic sociopath and murderer".

Whether he is a senseless, performative terrorist wreaking havoc for kicks or a deceptively cunning and competent criminal mastermind. Or both. Usually both.

He's no Batman, but sometimes he is a proficient hand-to-hand combatant, Knife Nut or marksman, and other times a flimsy wimp who goes down in one punch. In some of the grittier settings, his raw strength, numbness to pain and viciousness are enough to level the playing field with Batman.

Whether he actually loves Harley Quinn varies. In the animated series, (where Harley first appeared) the writers haveoutright said he's a sociopath incapable of loving anyone, and just sees her as a useful mook. Some other works imply he really does love her on some level (although he's usually still an abusive asshole.)

He can either be Faux Affably Evil, Laughably Evil, just a Monster Clown, or some combination of the three.

At least one such incident implied he would be interested in Batman... but only after he was dead. Again this may only have been a tactic to get under Batman's skin or truthful admission. The readers will never know for certain.

His plot in The Killing Joke is to put Jim Gordon through the wringer hard in the hopes of driving him mad. He'll also try to drive Batman over the edge (particularly, drive him to break his "no killing" rule), sometimes by cutting off all of Batsy's human connections.

The Dark Knight reworks it into Driving Gotham To Senseless Violence with wanton acts of destruction or terrorism, just to prove everyone's as bad as him deep down.

Ironically, a 1952 story has the Joker get himself falsely committed to an insane asylum, to question a patient who knew the location of a cache of money. The end of the story has him Laughing Mad due to a prank Batman used to disguise his identity.

He didn't have his signature laugh. This seems to have been a way to "goofy up" the character to make him less terrifying in the days of the Comics Code Authority. Later on, he'd learn to giggle while remaining terrifying.

He actually committed crimes for moneynote , and wasn't really interested in causing chaos or terror for a joke's sake.

Building off of that, his plans weren't really "insane" until the Silver Age (at which point it's not even fair to say this was exclusive to him), nor was there any question of the character's mental stability.

His obsession with Batman wasn't there, much less the idea that he would pass up chances to kill the Bat or learn his identity. This aspect was probably introduced to explain the Bond Villain Stupidity he (and every Batman villain) had become infamous for in the Silver Age.

His clown-like complexion was actually makeup in his early appearances. He even removed his makeup to disguise himself as a cop, which was referenced in The Dark Knight. It's later revealed that the look is permanent after falling in a vat of chemicals.

The Brave and the Bold #111 and #191 have him team up with Batman to clear his name after being framed for several murders. The first instance turned out to simply be a framing the guilty part occasion but the second instance was actually genuine on Joker's part (except the person Joker seemingly murdered turned out to be faking their death).

He also does this with Batman whenever The Batman Who Laughs is involved (specifically in the Dark Knights: Metal series).

He abruptly ends a partnership with Red Skull when his Nazi affiliation comes out. Red Skull simply wonders why he is so surprised when he thinks that the Joker would make a great Nazi. The Joker is NOT happy about this, proclaiming "I may be a criminal lunatic, but I'm an American criminal lunatic!" It even provides the trope's image. And yes, folks, even an equal-opportunity murderer like the Joker despises the Nazis!note

The exception is mentioned again in the Last Laugh arc where the Joker immediately refused to join the American Neo-Nazi Aryan Alliance group in the Slab after he was offered membership. Joker: I'm evil and all that, but you guys are just plain mean.

Will not harm dumb animals and doesn't condone it. There's no humor to be had in that. Higher primates apparently do not qualify but a lot more effort went into that one.

While in Arkham with villain Warren White, AKA the Great White Shark, Joker calls him the worst person he ever met. He states that while he may kill people, even he doesn't steal their kids' college funds.

Sees nothing funny about someone parking in a handicap spot when they're not handicapped. However, he does think it's hilarious to hurt them in ways that will make certain they'll always be able to park there.

A girl named Janey Bennett, whose class was studying criminal behavior, became pen pals with the Joker while he was in Arkham. When Janey revealed that her father, the mayor of Motor City, was abusing her (exactly how isn't specified, though it was implied to have been really bad) the Joker broke out and, convinced that the authorities would be of no help, tried to force the mayor into admitting to his crimes and giving him Janey (so that he could find a better home for her) by threatening to contaminate the city's blood supply, going through with it (because the ends justify the means) when the mayor refused to give in to his demands. He originally intended to give her to Batman as well so he could protect her but at the end decided to give her to her mom. Joker: I mean, stealing a city blind is something I can admire... but being mean to one's own daughter... that just makes my blood boil.

For a rather literal form of "standard", the Joker's team-up with Carnage in Spider-Man and Batman: Disordered Minds fell apart in part because the Joker, known for his love of theatrics, found Kasady's desire to get straight to killing boring. Conversely, Kasady didn't like the Joker's flair for theatrics.

The Joker absolutely loathes The Batman Who Laughs, to the point where he drops his usual joking demeanor and is deathly serious whenever directly referring to him, even willing to work together with Batman to face him when it comes down to it. When Lex Luthor goes behind his back to make a deal with The Batman Who Laughs (going against the only condition Joker has for joining his plan), Joker responds by Joker-gassing the Legion of Doom, putting Lex into a series of deathtraps, trashing Lex's Power Armor, and quitting the Legion. In the process, he tells Luthor how he had planned on ruining the Legion utterly on the verge of victory, and as nightmarish as his plan sounded, he claims it is nothing compared to what the Batman Who Laughs is going to do.

While he still gloated about it and found Commissioner Gordon kneecapping him funny after remember that he'd crippled Barbara, the actual act of killing Sarah Essen in the penultimate issue of Batman: No Man's Land is one of the few times the Joker wasn't happy with something he himself did, considering he's seen walking away while scowling afterward, leaves the babies he originally planned to murder unharmed and immediately turns himself in to the police.

Emperor Joker sees the Joker disgusted with a corrupted Jimmy O Lsen tormenting the Superfamily and Batman when they're turned int animals.

Later one he is disgusted when his minions vandalize the Moai on Eastern Island.

Again, when he rescues Lex from The Batman Who Laugh's infected minions in Hell Arisen, the mere mention of his alternate universe rival prompts him to have a very uncharacteristic Freak Out. The Joker: I told you. I told you not to deal with him. You should have shot that thing in the head the second you had it in a cage! It is wrong. It is a wrong thing.

Played more straight in his relationship with Punchline. Only time will tell if it lasts.

There’s also a comic storyline when Hush informed that a dirty cop Office Halmet killed his wife Jeannie. The Joker wanted nothing more than to kill said cop in revenge. Then there’s Batman: Three Jokers where, despite it being being heavily implied he was abusive, the “Comedian” Joker is seen setting up fake tea parties with dolls, clearly trying to substitute them for his wife and child showing that he does miss them and desire to be a family with them.

While The Dark Knight is one of the few times the Joker's clown-like appearance is the result of make-up, he does sport a Glasgow Grin.

While Joker still has the permanent clown look, it's combined with the Glasgow Grin.

While Batman: Endgame would see the skin of his face restored with a chemical called Dionesiumnote , at the start of The New 52, the Joker had the Dollmaker skin his face and then, after he recovered it, spent Death of the Family wearing it like a Leatherface-esque mask. And even in Endgame, his restored face ends up badly burned as the result of the finale battle between him and Batman, though it still ends up restored again.

Gotham sees neither Valeska escape this. After his death in season 2, Jerome (the proto-Joker) ends up resurrected in season 3, but because Dwight thinks his attempt to revive him failed, Dwight ends up cutting off Jerome's face ala Death of the Family and Jerome ends up stapling it on when he catches up with Dwight and while he later has it properly reattached, there's still scars from what happened. Jeremiah, Jerome's twin and the show's true Joker, ends up with the "perma-clown" appearance due to Jerome having the Scarecrow brew something up to spray in Jeremiah's face, but season 5 sees his fateful fall at Ace Chemicals badly scar his face and sear off most of his hair with only stringy patches left.

Averted entirely in Joker (2019), where his clown appearance is entirely makeup, and the worst it gets is painting his iconic smile on his face with his own blood from a car crash. Not even a Glasgow Grin or anything, the blood is from his hand and his face only has a few normal cuts on it.

While Batman is a rather serious character who refuses to kill anyone, The Joker is a rather comical character who revels in death.

Joker's gadgets tend to be rather goofier but much more lethal, such as the Joker Venom that he often uses to kill his victims.

While Batman gets along well with his sidekicks Robin and Batgirl, Joker frequently abuses his sidekick Harley Quinn and has tried to kill her before, not to mention all the times he has been a Bad Boss by killing his henchmen for any reason you can think of, sometimes for no reason at all.

While Batman's backstory is well known, even by the citizens of Gotham who know of the tragedy of the rich Waynes' in Crime Alley, no one knows anything about the Joker's backstory, but most versions he tells are consistent in two things: he was a nobody, and possibly someone poor.

In most adaptations, his voice is high-pitched in contrast to Batman's Badass Baritone.

Why he went by the name the Red Hood has changed over the years: The Killing Joke claims he was a failed comedian driven to crime to support his pregnant wife. The trauma of his disfigurement from jumping in the acid and his wife's earlier accidental death drove him insane. However, even this backstory is questionable, as the Joker himself calls it "multiple choice".

In Injustice 2, an intro with Atrocitus has the Red Lantern wondering what drove the Joker to nihilism.

In the animated series, he claims to have been abused as a child when interviewed by Harley, but according to Batman, it's just another ruse to escape Arkham.

The purple suit and matching pants with either an orange and/or green shirt with a bowtie or tie, remains the definitive Joker look one that many artists and costume designers have given spin on. He is sometimes known for wearing a cool hat but other times goes hatless. Heath Ledger's custom-designed purple long-coat, trousers, blue shirt and green Waistcoat of Style with a tie has likewise become iconic and famous for its contemporary and downright stylish update on the classic look.

The original Red Hood outfit which is a black suit, white shirt, bowtie with an opera cap and a bizarre red dome is also quite famous.

The Hawaiian tourist outfit he wore in the notorious scene in The Killing Joke.

The white suit he wears in Miller's The Dark Knight Returns as well as the white nurse maid outfit with red wig in The Dark Knight is also quite notable.

The Future Joker look from Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker which went with a mime look (black body suit, slicked-back hair) is also quite distinct and unique.

The first issue of Batman with Joker's debut has him described as having "burning, hate-filled eyes" and the moniker, "the harliquin of hate".

The Man Who Laughs had Bruce dosed with a light version of the Joker Venom and he felt his perspective shift into a paranoid vengeance were he felt everyone deserved to be punished for his parent's death just for existing.

Death of the Family had Batman describe how Joker's irises are always narrow when looking at anyone but Batman and that it is usually an indication of negative feelings toward something with Bruce mentioning that his eye are the eyes of someone who hates everything he sees.

In the Justice League storyline "Rock of Ages", Martian Manhunter has to put in incredible effort to reorganize Joker's mind long enough for him to give up the cataclysmic Philosopher's Stone. The briefly sane Joker immediately says My God, What Have I Done? verbatim as he hands it back, before quickly losing his mind and going back to the laughing madman.

The famous example from the end of The Killing Joke, where Batman tries to convince him to allow Batman to rehabilitate him before their vendetta kills them. Joker considers it for a long, somber moment before quietly reflecting that they're both too far gone.

Batman: Cacophony ends with Joker being pumped full of an inhuman amount of antipsychotic drugs to keep him under control while in recovery from a near-fatal stabbing. Batman takes the opportunity to have a relatively-sane conversation with him, though it's somewhat subverted by Joker still being a homicidal sociopath even while heavily sedated.

He even gives multiple reasons on how he came Back from the Dead in Injustice 2 and will go along with whatever his opponent thinks is true, despite being Dead All Along in story mode and only appearing as a hallucination to his ex-moll.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns sees him kill David Endochrine and Ruth Weisenheimer, who were clearly based on David Letterman and Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

During Knightfall, once he realizes that Azrael isn't Batman, his plan's gone to hell, and one too many criticisms from Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert stand-ins, he kills the stand-ins.

In one of the issues for the The Batman tie-in comic, The Batman Strikes, he terrorizes a stand-in for Conan O'Brien. This becomes darkly Hilarious in Hindsight as the real O'Brien voiced Endochrine in the animated version of Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. In the series proper, Harley's debut had the two of them terrorize a stand-in for Dr. Phil for the climax.

If you want to know how truly terrifying The Batman Who Laughs is, look no further than the way Joker acts whenever discussing him. He doesn't laugh, he doesn't smile. He becomes calm and serious and simply tells whomever he's talking to that the TBWL is "a wrong thing that shouldn't exist". Someone HAS to be scary if the very thought of him makes Joker act like a calm rational sane person.

In Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, the clown has a massive Villainous Breakdown when Terry mocks him for his failed attempts to break Batman.

On the rare occasion Joker gets bored and leaves Gotham, expect everyone to think of him as just a silly clown, until the bodies start piling up.

One issue of the Robin Series had him talking about having Abusive Parents, only for a psychiatrist to tell him it's the seventh story he's told now.

Batman lampshades on this to Harley in the animated series, thinking it's another lie to gain sympathy.

The Killing Joke claims he was a failed comedian driven to crime to support his pregnant wife. The trauma of his disfigurement and his wife's earlier accidental death drove him mad. However, even this could be a lie, as he himself calls it "multiple choice".

It's even discussed in Injustice 2, as Atrocitus wonders what drove the Joker to nihilism. Despite only appearing as a hallucination to Harley in story mode, he spews out multiple theories for his Unexplained Recovery and will say Sure, Let's Go with That in non-canon fights. Was he resurrected by someone, or is he from another universe? Did he escape from either the Source Wall or the Phantom Zone, or is he just an apparition?

Shadow of the Bat #38, Tears of a Clown: He celebrates his anniversary of the day he was a still sane, but hapless comedian, and was thrown out of an exclusive Stand-Up Comedy club for an unfunny act the patrons mercilessly heckled. It was the last straw as he agreed to provide to his family by pulling a job for the Red Hood gang. So he kidnaps all the patrons and reenacts his act with control collars that will kill them when they laugh. Oddly enough, the patrons are hardcore Stand-Up Comedy fans, so they can't remember the number of times they've booed someone. However, even this origin story could be a lie.

It's come to be his primary disfigurement over the original skin bleaching.

In Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, Terry McGinnis exploits this by delivering an epic Boring Insult so the clown will have a Villainous Breakdown.

King Barlowe proved to be a big one in his Thanatos Gambit in the episode "Joker's Millions" of The New Batman Adventures. In a spiteful Video Will, he gives the clown his millions, revealing in his tape that most of it was fake. Expecting the clown to splurge on it, he won't have enough to pay off the IRS, allowing Barlowe to get the "last laugh" after his death, without the Joker coming after him.

Alan Moore's "I go Loony" from The Killing Joke, an in-panel song-and-dance tune that was eventually made into an actual song belted out in Batman: The Killing Joke.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold has "Where's the Fun in That?" from the episode "Emperor Joker".

Batman: Arkham City ended with him covering The Platters' "Only You (and You Alone)", Batman: Arkham Origins had him cover Hank Williams' "Cold, Cold, Heart" and Batman: Arkham Knight had him provide an original composition, "Can't Stop Laughing".

Action Fashionista: This incarnation of the Joker has a wide variety of garish outfits for every occassion — most of them straight from the comics.

Adaptational Attractiveness: Metal teeth, lack of eyebrows, and tattoos aside, he's still being played by the youthful-looking real life Pretty Boy Jared Leto; especially since the last two cinematic Jokers were a creepy middle-aged gangster with a botched face-lift and a filthy, scarred vagrant (even the mentally unwell clown-for-hire doesn't scream Mr. Fanservice one bit). This version looks more like Marilyn Manson.

Adaptational Nice Guy: A very downplayed example. While he's otherwise the same Clown Prince of Crime we all know and love to hate, he appears to genuinely care for Harley, and even throws her out of a falling helicopter to save her life. Almost any other iteration of the Joker would do that to save his own skin or rid himself of her.

Adaptational Skimpiness: This version of the Joker tends to be shirtless a lot more than he has in any other medium. It mostly seems like an opportunity to show off his tattoos.

Adaptation Distillation: Leto's Joker seems to be less of the "evil philosopher" that Heath Ledger portrayed him as in The Dark Knight, and instead seems to be a cross between the garish, larger-than-life Mark Hamill version from the animated series and the Arkham games, and the creepy, deeply twisted Brian Azzarello version. David Ayer had also stated that he looked specifically to the Golden Age Joker for reference, providing reason for many to believe that Leto's Joker is a modern re-imagining of that incarnation.

Advertised Extra: Heavily featured in Suicide Squad promotional materials, barely appears in the film for more than seven minutes. According to Jared Leto, several of the scenes he shot were not included in the theatrical cut.

Ambiguous Disorder: In Suicide Squad, most of the time the Joker seems... not all there compared to Harley. In addition of psychopathic tendencies, the Joker has random bouts of maniacal laughter, confusion, and slurred speech-like patterns. All attributes that stem from punch-drunk syndrome. Considering he has faced Batman one too many times, it makes sense that the Joker's mental stability is finally catching up to him.

However, come Birds of Prey, they broke up, mirroring the comics where they do have an Relationship Revolving Door. It appears to stick, as Harley publicly calls it quits between the two of them.

His tattoos are very reminiscent of the Joker in All Star Batman and Robin.

Ax-Crazy: Like all the incarnations before him, calling him a violent psychopath is one of the biggest understatements you can make.

Bedlam House: Spent some time at Arkham Asylum, where he met Harley. Then he broke free from it with the help of both Harley and his gang.

Chewing the Scenery: An important part of the character is his theatricality.

Cool Car: A bright purple sports car with underglow lights and a "HAHAHA" license plate.

Dented Iron: It's subtle, but the numerous scars on his body and metal replacement teeth in his mouth are clear signs that his frequent run-ins with Batman are taking their toll.

Disney Death: He seemingly dies in the crash of his helicopter... only to come back to free Harley from her high security prison at the end of Suicide Squad.

The Dreaded: In true Joker fashion, everyone is terrified of him.

Establishing Character Moment: One that takes place before he even makes his official debut in the setting - he killed Robin (a minor) and vandalized his outfit to mock Batman over his inability to save him.

Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Insofar as much as the Joker can love anyone, anyway, but he does seem to genuinely care about Harley. Eventually, subverted.

Evil Has a Bad Sense of Humor: He considers the brutal murder of a minor as a joke he played on Batman. When he's torturing Harleen Quinzel, he promises not to shatter her well-kept teeth while flashing his own hideous metal dentures. When Harleen later has him at gunpoint, Joker just says "please don't kill me, I'll be ya friend" in a snarky tone.

Evil Is Hammy: It's not The Joker if he's not Chewing the Scenery. And, sure enough, he does.

Evil Is Petty: The graffiti on Robin's costume seems to imply that Joker murdered him just to prod at Batman. It is confirmed in Suicide Squad that Joker and Harley killed him.

Evil Laugh: It's kind of his thing. One notable example is when he chuckles while surrounded by an arsenal of weapons.

Fake Shemp: Indie rocker Johnny Goth stood in for Jared Leto in Birds of Prey, in the flashback where he and Harley torture and tattoo the big mafia thug Harley later bumps back into.

Foil: To Batman as usual, but with some new additions. After 20 years, Batman became more jaded and cruel, while the Joker somewhat mellowed out and his criminal activity became more professional. Batman didn't settle down until the death of Superman while the Joker grew attached to Harley Quinn.

In Suicide Squad Griggs' smug indifference about his gambling debt immediately becomes pure terror when he realizes the Joker has gotten involved.

He is so feared that even the likes of Black Mask would rather steer clear of him. Harley's enemies only start gunning for her in Birds of Prey when it's become clear that she's no longer with him.

   G-Y

The Ghost:

There is an allusion to him in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice ("HA HA HA Joke's On You, Batman" painted across the chest of the dead Robin's empty suit in the Batcave), but he doesn't actually appear.

He gets mentioned a lot in Birds of Prey, but he's only seen very briefly in some flashbacks, always from the back (including footage from Suicide Squad). There is a whole Deleted Scene where he and Harley have a domestic dispute. Harley leaves the house through the window and the Joker throws her stuffed beaver out through the window. In the film proper, she's just kicked out of the house, with no shot of Mr. J.

Greater-Scope Villain: His role in Batman v Superman. Despite not actually appearing his murder of Robin by this point has driven Batman down a darker, more vengeful path that goes against Batman's traditional moral code; the one that the Joker is always trying to prove is wrong. Batman's rage towards Superman blinds him to the possibility of Lex Luthor being the real threat long enough for Superman to die fighting Doomsday. In a way the Joker's actions contributed to Batman's failure.

Guttural Growler: This Joker is noticeably more snarly than previous incarnations.

Handshake Refusal: He doesn't like to shake hands, as Monster T finds out.

Hell-Bent for Leather: Wears a purple crocodile skin duster at some point in the film.

Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Despite being a homicidal sociopath, he seems to truly love his girlfriend Harley Quinn. Then in Birds Of Prey, he coldly and violently breaks up with her.

Joker Immunity: He appears to die when his helicopter is shot down about halfway through Suicide Squad. To absolutely no one's surprise, he shows up alive and well in the final scene. It helps that he's the Trope Namer.

Knife Nut: And by God, does he have enough blades.◊

Lean and Mean: This Joker, while muscular, is quite lean, especially compared to the heavily muscled Batman.

Love Epiphany: Well, "love" is pushing it, but Joker realizes his affections for Harley when she dives in the chemical bath that ultimately turned Joker into what he is. Symbolic in the sense she was agreeing to join him in madness. Further adding to the complexity of the scene; Joker was tying up a loose end, having used Harley to escape from Arkham. He lead her to her demise and intended to leave her for death but at the same moment realized she had entered his world and his madness. Joker never anticipated the amount of utter devotion Harley would have for him, something inside him just couldn't walk away from her, so he jumped in to save her.

Manipulative Bastard: He manipulated Harley into helping him escape Arkham because she fell in love with him. When she served her purpose, he would have had her kill herself jumping into a bath of chemicals to prove her feelings. He instead saves her from this demise because he has a Love Epiphany in the moment.

Monster Clown: Like the previous film versions, Joker is an Ax-Crazy criminal with clownish makeup. Green hair notwithsanding, his white makeup, red lipstick and absence of facial scars make him look closer to a mime than his predecessors.

Noble Demon: In Suicide Squad, his whole motivation is to rescue Harley Quinn. His commitment is so strong he doesn't even waste time with pranks or petty acts of cruelty. Everything he does is for someone else.

Only Known By His Nickname: He's only known as The Joker, or "J" / "Mr. J".

Outlaw Couple: He and Harley Quinn are lovers and partners in crime.

Sadist: Even though there was only a few select scenes of him, one of them is him torturing Harley. It's disturbingly obvious that he is positively gleeful over it. And he doesn't seem to have lost any sleep over murdering Robin, either.

Pet the Dog: David Ayer confirms that while he did push Harley out of the falling helicopter, his intent was in fact to save her life.

Satellite Love Interest: To Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad. His characterization revolves entirely around Harley, not even getting involved with the main plot.

Scary Teeth: Several of his teeth are made of metal. According to David Ayer, Batman punched his teeth out after he killed Robin, leading him to replace them with metal teeth.

Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Although he has a presence at the start of the film, The Joker appears to have left Gotham City to be controlled by Black Mask in Birds of Prey, with Roman saying that Joker has already skipped town.

The Sociopath: He's chaotic and remorseless, much like his previous versions. Special mention goes to his murder of Robin, which he topped off by spray-painting a cruel taunt for Batman onto the boy's costume.

Tattooed Crook: His torso is covered in jester-themed tattoos. He also has a few on his arms and face.

Villain of Another Story: He mainly appeared in Suicide Squad, but his biggest act of villainy to date — killing Robin — happened some years before Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, in which he doesn't appear. The spray-painted message on Robin's empty suit ("Ah ah ah joke's on you Batman!") in the latter film can't be anything else than his doing.

Where Does He Get All Those Wonderful Toys?: Is seen with a rather impressive arsenal of guns and knives. And even says to warden Griggs, at some point, "I can't wait to show you my toys." note Notably, he manages to hijack the gunship which was sent to extract Waller and the squad so he can rescue Harley.

Would Hit a Girl: In the past, the Joker electroshocks and manipulates Dr. Harleen Quinzel into allowing her to fall into a vat of chemicals, in order to become Harley Quinn.

Would Hurt a Child: He killed Batman's sidekick, Robin, while the boy was an underage minor.

You Gotta Have Blue Hair: His hair is bright green.

   "Knightmare" Joker

"You won't kill me. I'm your best friend..." Appearances:

Zack Snyder's Justice League

"You need me. You... need me... to help you undo this world you created, by letting her die."

The Joker meets up once more with Batman in the nightmarish alternate future where Darkseid has conquered the Earth and Superman turned evil. But things aren't the same anymore between the two legendary foes.

See also the Knightmare page for more on that setting's characters.

Break Them by Talking: He deliberately tries to agitate Batman by reminding him of how many people have died on his watch.

Cop Killer: He wears a bulletproof vest with at least two dozens police badges on it. Whether these were good cops killed prior to the apocalypse or servants of the oppressive regime of Superman after the apocalypse is not detailed.

Costume Evolution: He has ditched his garish gangster suits for what looks like either a medical gown or a butcher gown, complete with orange gloves and a bulletproof vest with a dozen police badges pinned on it. He got rid of his "Damaged" forehead tattoo, let his hair grow and put red makeup around his mouth, looking closer to more common depictions of the character.

Enemy Mine: He and Batman had the worst kind of enmity imaginable, but the Earth being conquered by Darkseid is enough of a Conflict Killer for them to call a truce and work together to try undoing this mess.

Evil Has a Bad Sense of Humor: He utters the line "We live in a society" while gazing upon the devastated landscape in the trailer. This is clearly a Meme Acknowledgement, and it's quite awkwardly used given the context (is there really any society left in this post-apocalyptic world?). It doesn't appear in the actual film, however. The line was improvised by Leto.

Evil Laugh: Even with the world being in such a sorry state and him still being sane enough to acknowledge how bad the situation is, he'll still let some laughs out, even though they sound more subdued than ever.

Evil Versus Oblivion: Even he sees the necessity of teaming up with Batman to try undoing what Darkseid did to Earth.

Future Badass: He survived the apocalypse brought upon Earth by Darkseid and looks like he's geared for guerilla actions.

My Card: He gives a Joker card to Batman as a symbol of their truce. Shall the Dark Knight want to break that truce, he'd just have to tear that card up. The card could be seen strapped on Batman's assault rifle in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.

Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!: Joker gets a high reminding Batman how costly his mistakes in the past have been.

The Nicknamer: He nicknames Mera "my little fish stick" and Robin "Boy Wonder".

Progressively Prettier: Despite being worse for wear, this Joker is arguably even better looking than his previous appearance, with his over-the-top tattooed gangster image toned down and his androgyny played up. Ironically, this version also more closely resembles the Heath Ledger incarnation.

Thousand-Yard Stare: He has such a stare when looking at the devastated horizon as he starts talking to Batman.

Villain Has a Point: While he’s the one who killed Robin, he gives Batman a minor What the Hell, Hero? for sending “a Boy Wonder to do a man’s job.”

Vocal Evolution: His voice is much softer and higher pitched than it was in Suicide Squad.

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Fifty

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

December 26th, 1991

Emile smiled, albeit a little sadly, when he saw his younger cousins playing with some of his toys that he had started to outgrow and lose interest in. “It was very generous of you to give them your toys, Emile,” his mother said.

“I figured they could get more use out of them than I could,” Emile said. “And I’m a little sad to give them away, but they’ll be enjoyed more by my cousins, anyway.”

His mother shook her head. “Still, most kids your age don’t share that easily. I’m proud of you.”

Emile ducked his head in mild embarrassment, but looked up at his mom after a moment and grinned. “Thanks, Mom.”

  December 13th, 2001

It was Theo’s senior year, and as such, he had decided to invite everyone over to his and his friends�� house for a proper Christmas party the day that finals had ended. He was giving his e-mail out to anybody who would take it, saying that he wanted to keep in contact and he didn’t want to risk missing people over the course of the spring semester. Emile found it incredibly endearing, and Remy was just poking fun at Theo as he went around, passing out his e-mail and collecting the others’. Theo was laughing at it, though, so Emile suspected he didn’t mind.

“So, how did Thanksgiving go?” Clara asked, flopping down next to Emile on the couch. “You never actually told us what it was like, bringing your boyfriend back home to meet the family.”

“It was okay,” Emile said. “Remy and I were in the metaphorical closet around my grandfather, though. He doesn’t know and I don’t want him to know, not yet. I want to see if he can be more understanding before I drop that bombshell on him.”

Clara winced. “Ouch. He’s one of those ‘fire and brimstone’ types?”

“Not usually,” Emile said. “But on this particular topic...he just...doesn’t understand.”

Clara sighed, shaking her head. “Most people that old don’t. Which is sad, and discouraging.”

“Tell me about it,” Emile laughed hollowly. “One day, there will be people who understand of all ages, but so far, I have yet to meet someone who survived the eighties who’s that old, and therefore I haven’t met anyone in favor of the LGBT community that age, either.”

Clara leaned her head back into the couch. “How telling is it that we only ever expect other people in the community to understand?”

Emile blew out a breath. “I imagine more telling than we’d like,” he said, turning to look at Clara with a sad smile. “At least there are people in the community who understand, though.”

Clara nodded. “And most colleges are accepting in general, these days.”

Remy walked over with his arms crossed. “You two aren’t smiling,” he accused.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Rem, I wasn’t aware we had to smile all the time in order to please you,” Emile said with an eye-roll.

“Not what I meant,” Remy said. “You guys seem sad. What’s up?”

“My grandfather,” Emile sighed.

“Stressing over Christmas again?” Remy asked. “I thought we both had plans in place for if the cat got out of the bag.”

“We do. I’m stressing over the fact that we need those plans in the first place,” Emile said.

“Oh,” Remy said softly, sitting on Emile’s other side. “Yeah, that is a bit of a bummer.”

“No kidding?” Emile asked, looking over at Remy with a tired expression.

“Hey, it’ll be okay, mio amore,” Remy said, putting his hand on Emile’s shoulder.

“I know that,” Emile said, putting his hand over Remy’s. “It just hurts in the meantime.”

“Could be worse, you could have had my parents and your grandfather to contend with,” Remy laughed.

Emile considered that. The nosiness of Remy’s mother, mixed with the snide comments his grandfather made, that would not end well. “Someone would probably wind up dead,” Emile said.

Remy laughed. “Oh, yeah. And now, because I cut off my parents, we don’t have to bury any corpses.”

Emile snorted. “Some silver lining,” he said, running a hand down his face. “I don’t want to hide being with you, Remy. I’m super proud to call you my boyfriend. It sucks that we can’t tell anyone outside my parents because we can’t trust them to keep quiet over the course of Christmas.”

Remy took Emile’s hand and when Emile looked over to Remy, he was surprised to find Remy grinning like the cat who got the cream. “What?” Emile asked.

“I’ve never heard you say you’re proud to be with me, before,” Remy said. “And, like, I know that you love me, but the fact that you’re proud of that...I don’t know. It’s...nice.”

“And gay,” Clara piped up.

Emile and Remy laughed. “You better believe it, Clara!” Remy exclaimed. “I’m gay for this man and he’s gay for me back and the entire world deserves to know!”

“Okay, okay,” Emile said, holding up his free hand. “I’ll try to not be so down. I know it’s a time to celebrate, especially considering that most of us won’t be seeing each other for the better part of a month.”

“Yeah, c’mon, Emile, we have some last minute partying to do,” Remy teased.

Emile rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m not here for the partying so much as I’m here for conversation. I’m boring, I know, but I just like to talk with people.”

Remy rolled his eyes and pushed Emile to his feet. “Yeah? Well, Theo’s just about ready to break out the white elephant gifts, so you’d better grab something to drink now or risk losing a prime seat near the presents.”

“I’m not thirsty, though,” Emile said, frowning.

“But I know you, love, and you will be within the hour. Grab a bottle of water or something, I don’t care. But grab something so I don’t have to hear you complain,” Remy said with a smirk.

“Fine,” Emile said, and as soon as he moved Remy snatched up his spot next to Clara. “You’re a traitor, you realize,” he casually mentioned as he walked away.

“Hey, my lap can be a pretty cosy place to sit!” Remy called after him.

Emile flushed red in embarrassment and grabbed a bottle of water quickly, before electing to sit on the armrest of the couch Remy and Clara were now occupying, resolutely not looking Remy in the eyes. Theo came over with the stack of presents, and everyone sat in a circle as he set them up and grabbed a hat full of paper numbers. “Let’s get started, everyone,” Theo said. “Pick a paper, and get your order number!”

He went around the room and everyone grabbed a number, and he took the last slip remaining in the hat. “What’d you get?” Remy asked.

“Ten,” Emile said.

Remy laughed. “Lucky. I have three.”

Emile winced in sympathy. “Only two presents to steal,” he said. “You’d probably have better luck opening a present.”

“Yeah,” Remy sighed. “Ah, well. Such is the luck of the draw. And this could still be fun.”

“Yeah, if you got a super popular present you might wind up getting to steal later in the game,” Emile said.

The game started with a girl that Emile didn’t know the name of opening a present and laughing at what was inside. Apparently, it was a small statue of a literal white elephant.

Xavier went next, and he opted to open a present, which was a calendar filled with Garfield comics. “Oh, that’s a nice one,” Emile laughed.

“Garfield isn’t exactly the epitome of comics, but a calendar is nice,” Remy agreed. He hummed. “Eh, screw it, I’ll open one.”

He grabbed a tall, thin box and opened it, before laughing hysterically. He let the last of the wrapping paper fall and revealed a lava lamp. “What?! No way!” Theo exclaimed. “Who found a lava lamp for fifteen bucks?!”

“You’d be surprised,” another senior boy said with a smirk. “Thrift shops are wonderful places. Oh, and I tested it before I brought it, and it still works.”

Remy laughed. “Man, I always wanted one of these as a kid,” he said. “My parents never let me have one.”

The game continued, and a girl stole the white elephant statue, so the first girl stole Remy’s lava lamp, and Remy reluctantly opened another present. He sniffed a laugh at the tiny bottle which featured a tinier ship.

“Sick, man!” Theo exclaimed, immediately stealing it for his turn.

Remy stole back the lava lamp with a grin and the girl opened another present, a pack of number two pencils with a note that read: For next semester’s finals. Everyone groaned at the reminder, except for Remy, who giggled maniacally.

They continued the game until it was Emile’s turn, and he decided he wasn’t going to steal the lava lamp from Remy, much as he might like to. Remy had stolen it back every chance he got and everyone knew that he was not going home without it, so they backed off him. He instead picked up a lumpy present that everyone had been ignoring, and he opened it, laughing at the stuffed dog that was inside. “Aw, this is adorable!” he cooed.

Remy had a conflicted expression on his face as the game moved on to player number eleven. Emile quietly asked, “You okay?”

“That’s...” Remy swallowed. “That’s the exact style of stuffed animal that my stuffed dog Bones was,” he whispered.

“Oh,” Emile said, looking down at the dog in his hands with a new sort of respect.

Player number twelve stole the elephant, the Garfield comic calendar was stolen, and the next to last gift was opened: a book filled with random trivia facts that was calling itself The Ultimate Toilet Entertainer, for some reason Emile couldn’t fathom.

Finally, the first girl got her chance to steal something, and she grabbed the white elephant statue with a shrug. “I kinda like it, it’s cute,” she defended.

The person it was stolen from sighed. “Well, I don’t really like anything else here, so I guess I’m opening the last present.”

And when they did, they saw what Emile had brought to the white elephant, which was an old VCR tape that had to be from the early nineties, featuring Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. “Oh, that’s not bad, actually,” they said, and Emile grinned.

The party continued somewhat after that, but slowly people had to leave to get packed for the winter break. When Emile and Remy said goodbye to their friends and got to Emile’s car, Emile looked at the stuffed dog he was still holding, spying some initials on the tag. Some very familiar initials. “Hey, Rem,” he said.

“Yeah?” Remy asked.

“Do you know what happened? After Toby rescued Bones from your parents?” Emile asked.

“He let me play with Bones in his room for a while, but eventually either our parents found out or a family friend’s kid found him, because he disappeared and neither Toby nor I could find him,” Remy sighed. “Why?”

“Well, this dog has a little tag on it,” Emile said, inspecting it closely. “And it has initials on it.”

“My parents would label toys sometimes once I was around to make it clear whose stuff was whose,” Remy said. “But why’s that important?”

“Well, the initials are RSP,” Emile said. “And I’ve never seen your parents handwriting, but that seems like a hell of a coincidence.”

“What? No way,” Remy said. They got inside the car and Emile passed the dog over to Remy. Remy’s eyes widened looking at the tag. “What...? That’s...that’s my mom’s handwriting...Oh, my God. I knew that one of the people at the party knew my family, because we had talked briefly and they mentioned in passing that my last name sounded familiar and we figured out that’s where we had heard about each other, and she had a younger sister who had been obsessed with stuffed animals for a while, but...” he took a closer look at the dog’s ear. “That’s where I got paint on the fur that never came out. It’s the same dog. Oh my God!”

Emile offered Remy a smile. “You should keep him.”

Remy looked up at Emile with wide eyes. “You mean that? I don’t want to take your gift from the white elephant, do you want the lava lamp in return?”

“No, Remy, it’s okay,” Emile said, starting the drive home. “You can keep both things. I really don’t mind.”

Remy was quietly crying at this news, and Emile didn’t mention it. He didn’t fail to notice that night, however, when Remy was setting up the lava lamp in his room, Bones was sitting on his bed’s pillow. And when Emile checked on Remy before he went to bed himself, he saw Remy snuggled up to Bones in his sleep, the lava lamp emitting a soft blue glow with green lava making shapes in it.

Emile shook his head softly and went to bed himself. Maybe he was obsessed with something as childish as cartoons, but Remy never got the chance to naturally grow out of his childhood. It was sad to think about, but Emile was glad Remy could live out his childhood dreams now that he was here.

[clevercatchphrase]

2020 Year Review~

2020. Pretty unique year, don’t you think? It’s the first year since 2002 to have only two different digits in it. After 2022, this won’t happen again until 2111. Yep. Absolutely nothing more interesting than that.

Anyway! It’s time I reflect on my 2020, look back on my yearly goals and rant about things that happened to me this year. I made a post like this last year, where I went over my 2019 goals and talked about what I accomplished and what I didn’t, and it’s only fitting I do the same again this year. Read more under the cut for a random stream of consciousness ramble!

So, first things first, let’s look at my 2019 goals;

Finish paying off that last student loan

Put more stuff on my redbubble

Illustrate my own fan fics

Sew at least one stuffed animal

Make an enamel pin

Read one new book a month

Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic

Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make

Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch

Boost my patreon

 Paying Off My Last Student Loan: Going down the list, I am proud to say that I FINALLY paid off all my student loans! (and not a moment too soon. The last payment I made was literally days before the first quarantine rolled out). It took me roughly 4 years on my part-time paycheck to pay off all my loans, and once I finished, I had no money to my name (literally; I had less than 1k as emergency money in case of car troubles or health issues). Heck, I’m STILL living at home as a save up for a place of my own. Finally paying off all my student loans DID activate my secret 2020 new year’s resolution, which was to adopt a cat! I did this too, literally a week later! She is the best thing that’s happened to me this entire year and I love her so much and she is the snuggliest cuddle bug I’ve ever met. I’m so happy she’s in my life now~

Put More Stuff On My Redbubble: ah ha ha ha… I thought I did this, but then I went and checked, and it turns out-! I did not. I made art I intended to go on my redbubble, but haven’t put there yet. They are all drawings of some OCs from a game I want to make, but because I haven’t progressed on making the game this year, I never got around to putting more stuff related to it on my redbubble. At the time of writing, there are 7 days left in December, so I guess I could go and put it up on my redbubble right now, but without context on where the characters are from, there wouldn’t be much point, now would there?

 Illustrate My Own Fan Fics: Another goal that I was so stoked to actually do… and then just didn’t. Gee, I wonder why I couldn’t find the energy or motivation to do it this year? Truly a conundrum. (Hey, you know what? If Ghost Switch counts as a fan fiction in a visual form, then I am doing GREAT on this goal. 2.5 years in, 1 of ~4 arcs done, and still going steady~)

 Sew At Least One Stuffed Animal: Okay, I have a valid excuse for not doing this one. I even knew which stuffed animal I wanted to make, and had the pattern drawn out and everything, but I had no money for materials because I had just paid off my student loans. And then, by the time I did have enough money again, quarantine was in full effect and I couldn’t go out to the fabric store. I’m still trying my best to stay out of public places even if the rules are laxer now, because I don’t want to catch the plague even if everyone in my goddamn city thinks and acts like the problem is over already. Even if they’re all wearing masks, even if they’re staying 6 feet apart, I still don’t want to risk it. I will stay inside until health experts give the all clear, and when that day comes, then I will buy some fleece and make a plush.

 Make An Enamel Pin: I ACTUALLY DID THIS ONE. TWICE! Halfway through quarantine, I was feeling anxious and depressed about my job and how they were planning to have me work with the public despite climbing infection rates and positive covid cases. I didn’t quit then, but in a desperate move to try and become self-sufficient, I went to madebycooper and made two enamel pins based on some butterfly dragons I drew last year. They’re on my etsy store now! I even went out of my way to open a P.O. box just to start a small business! I haven’t sold a single pin yet, and I’m actually really nervous to sell my first because I don’t trust the efficiency of the postal system thanks to the actions of the GOP that really screwed them over this year! (If you would like to see my enamel pins, click here!)

 Read One Book A Month: I did this! With dragon books I bought a couple years back! In fact, I read FOURTEEN dragon books, and still have more books for next year to read! The 14 books I read this year were:

 The Hive Queen

The Poison Jungle

Wings Of Fire Legends: Dragonslayer

Dealing With Dragons

Searching For Dragons

Calling on Dragons

Talking to Dragons

The Bronze Dragon Codex

The Brass Dragon Codex

The Black Dragon Codex

The Red Dragon Codex

The Silver Dragon Codex

Dragon Strike, and

Hatching Magic

 To be honest, I had read The Red Dragon Codex years ago when it first came out, but completely forgotten what it was about. I remembered liking it, and I knew the reading level was on the lower side, but the whole dragon codex series was pretty good! So far, the Silver dragon codex was my favorite, and black dragon codex was probably the worst! Hatching Magic was also really slow and bad and had plot points that went nowhere, but the book was written in the 80s, so I don’t know what I expected. The Dealing with Dragons series was very charming and great for the most part, save for one line in the last book that really rubbed me the wrong way, and all the Wings of Fire Books go above and beyond in this third arc. The second legends book could be a little tighter, though (sky and wren are the best duo and I want a book solely about them, but I honest to god do not care about leaf and ivy’s stories.)

 Write one Page of any story every day/ complete at least one fic: I… did this? Okay, I kinda cheated near the end of the year. I was keeping up the one page a day thing for the first four months, but then the world went to shit and my schedule and habits got disrupted and I fell off my good track record. I completed 7 out of roughly 12 one-shots I had planned for this year (my goal WAS supposed to be one short a month, but… you know how it happens) I kept trying to catch up on this goal all year, but the days kept piling up…. Until November hit. I managed to write over 250 pages for Nanowrimo, and I consider this goal a win. 365 pages of fiction in total, which averages out to about one a day~. SHUT UP IT COUNTS.

 Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make: Another goal I didn’t have the mental energy to commit to this year. Truly a mystery to where all our willpower went in 2020.

 Fully Finish Scripting Ghost Switch: still haven’t done this one yet! The Snowdin arc is completely planned, but I just haven’t gotten around to getting the other areas. I’m not worried, though. I know all the major plot points I gotta hit, it’s just weaving them together in a way that flows nice is the final task. I’m not too worried though. I don’t expect to finish the Snowdin arc for another year and a half, at the bare minimum.

 And my last goal of 2020, Boost My Patreon. I did this at the beginning of the year, but then very intentionally stopped about a third of the way through. It didn’t sit right with me to tell you guys to donate to me when suddenly EVERYONE was financially strained from layoffs or being furloughed. I told my patrons the same, and if you ever need to stop donating to me to take care of yourself first, then by all means, please do. I would feel much better knowing you’re using your money to see yourself fed and housed instead of given to me (where it is pretty much only used to buy gas for my car, honestly)

 Welp! That was all my goals for 2020! I achieved 4 out of 10 goals plus 1 secret goal! Pretty much the same ratio as last year, but now this time I can blame all my failures on the pandemic! I don’t feel so bad about myself anymore~

 ON TO 2021!

 I have 11 goals for the new year, again some rolled over from this list, and some from even older years. They are, in no particular order;

 Read 12 new books (roughly 1 book a month)

Finish the first draft of 2019’s Nanowrimo project and rewrite it

Script TDV

Finish Scripting Ghost Switch

Build A Comic Buffer

Sew 1 Stuffed Animal

Finish 1 Song Comic

Make another Enamel Pin

Finish 2 short original comics (this one counts as 2 goals)

Finish the 5 remaining one-shot fics

 Now to go into depth on each one, more for my own sake, really. I want to know exactly what I have planned for each goal this year, and sometimes just looking at a short list doesn’t capture all the smaller details.

 1)Read 12 new books. Same as last year! I The only difference is I might not be able to make it all dragon-related books. (I try my hardest not to buy from amazon anymore, but half-price-books doesn’t always have the obscure stuff I’m looking for)

 2)Finish 2019’s nanowrimo project. If you read my 2019 year reflection, you’ll notice I said I wanted to do some original writing. And I did! The story I wrote for nanowrimo back then was a story I’ve been toying with since 2017, but it was only last year I finally got pen to paper. Now, you may find it odd that the keyword says “finish”. You may think, “but isn’t that what you’re supposed to do for nanowrimo?” and to that I say, WRONG! I wrote 50k words for nanowrimo, but the draft was only about halfway complete. I was kinda discouraged about what I had written last year, because I didn’t like how it was coming out, but I did manage to get it half done. Now it’s time for me to bite the bullet and just finish the thing so I can finally revise it and make it into something I DO like. (It’s still gonna be hella long, tho. That’s what I get for trying to write an epic fantasy, I guess.)

 3)Script TDV. TDV is the abbreviation of the game I want to make. I… still need to do so much for this project OTL… In addition to getting the story solidified, I still need to draw art and game assets, and learn how to code for it, both of which are no small task. I keep having some sort of new year’s goal related to this on my list, and every year I just don’t hit this one. Will 2021 be different?

 4)Finish Scripting Ghost Switch. (Or at the very least, get the waterfall arc completely written out). I have a plan to break this down into simpler steps, by focusing on just one arc for a month or two. Every major arc has 2 to 3 parts, broken up by flashbacks, and if I can just finish one section a month, then I should have the entire thing scripted by the end of the year. It’s not a difficult pace, but seeing if I stick with it will be the real challenge, as it is will all my goals it seems.

 5)Build a Comic Buffer: I’m actually working on this one right now! Since I paid off my last loan and got a new job this year, my current Patreon goals are kind of out of date. They had all been centered around me paying off that last loan, and working towards full-time employment, but those are both completed now! So instead, I would love to get to a place where my patrons could read pages at least a week ahead, and to do that, I need to build a buffer. And since I’m working 5 full days a week now, I can’t afford to fall behind. But you can’t fall behind if you constantly stay ahead! I would like to have… a 10 to 12 page buffer. That’s roughly 3 months’ worth of pages to always have on hand in case I get swamped with work, or something. Right now I currently have a buffer of 3, which will cover me for half a January, which is better than not having anything at all, but still not the best. (ultimately, I would love to have a buffer so big, I could queue them up for the whole year. Wouldn’t that be something?)

 6) Sew one stuffed animal: same as last year. ASSUMING the plague gets under control in 2021, I don’t expect to get to this goal until the summer at the earliest.

 7)Finish 1 song comic: I have 7 song comics planned. One is a gift, one possibly for wandersong, one is a collab that’s currently in the works, but I’m waiting on a friend to do their part before I can continue mine, 2 are UT related, and 2 (well, technically 3, but one is the collab) are KH related. It’s one of the UT ones that will probably get finished, if I’m being honest. It’s completely story boarded, and now I just need to ink and color it. I would like to get it done for UT’s 6th birthday, since I made a song comic on the fly for the anniversary this year, and it was fun, and I’d like to do it again! So, look forward to that next september~

 8) Make another enamel pin: I have a dolphin design I’d like to make because dolphins are cute, if not little murder machines. (need to save up some expendable income first, tho. THESE THINGS AIN’T CHEAP TO MAKE.)

 9 and 10) start and finish 2 original short comics: I’ve got some comic ideas I want to do, but I need to get them written out first. I don’t think either would be too long. Each maybe a couple “episode’s” length, if envisioned on a website like webtoons or tapas. They’d both be heavy in allegory, but not overly drawn out (hopefully)

 11)And lastly, Finish the 5 remaining one-shots I had planned for this year but never got around to. I’m going to try to write one every other month. Pure self-indulgent shipping fluff. If I finish these 5, then maybe I’ll ask other people for more prompts and ideas, which I’ve never done before. We’ll see how it goes~

 Also, Like last year, I’d like to look at everything that’s happened to me this year, though to be honest, I’m not sure how much I remember/how accurate it’ll be. God, I don’t even remember what January was like. Who was I back then? Who were we all back then? I guess I’ll start my yearly retrospective in march because, heh, god we ALL know what started happening in march.

 Firstly, I paid off my last student loan! Then a week later on March 18th, I drove half an hour out of my city to adopt a cat and I love her and it was the best day of this year for me. Spring break is just beginning this weekend, but the attendance at the zoo is shockingly low this year. Apparently, a lot of people watch the news, and they’re all taking precautions about social distancing. I wasn’t too disappointed. Fewer people at the zoo, the easier my job is for me. I was looking forward to getting some free overtime on spring break, since I’m broke after paying off that loan, and I’m a cat parent now and have a furry child to feed. Monday rolls around. My manager calls me and tells me that the zoo is going into lockdown until further notice. I worry for the birds I take care of, but understand it’s for everyone’s safety.

 For two months I sleep in and watch way too much YouTube. I join a couple writing discords. I have nightmares about my birds escaping their enclosure and I dreamed one of the security guards I really like at the zoo gets covid and has to go to the ER. I woke up really upset.

 I started and finished BBS for the first time. I also replayed and finished KH2 final mix for the first time. It had been about 5 years since I last played KH2 before my PS2 died, and it was like coming home~ I also finished tearaway, and played and beat Ryme for a second time (which I can’t remember if I did that last year, but it was a fun experience regardless)

 Mid-June, and I’m allowed to start going back to work, be it on reduced hours. The zoo is still closed to the public, but I’m loving it! I get to work with full-time keepers and do full-time keeper things. It’s so much fun not having to deal with the public. August starts to creep up and there’s a rumor that the zoo will be opening to the public again, which I’m not stoked about. I don’t want to go back to standing in one exhibit all day, talking to guests who don’t listen to the rules or to me. 2 of my younger coworkers (who had both only been there a couple of months) get chosen for full-time positions, while I get passed up which really pisses me off. My other 2 coworkers quit when they think we might be reopening because they cannot risk catching the virus due to at-risk family. I am now the last keeper in the interactive bird exhibit.

 I keep working, the zoo slowly opens, but with me as the only interpreter in our interactive bird exhibit, we can’t open because I can’t run the entire exhibit by myself. So my exhibit stays closed. September comes and goes, and then October starts. Now there is more serious talk of opening my exhibit before the end of the year because the zoo expects to bring in larger crowds for the Christmas lights event in November/December. I ask if I get hazard pay or health insurance since I’m doing full-time hours until they hire more staff. They say no.

 I immediately start searching for a new job feeling incredibly indignant/hurt/slighted/insulted/used/abused/ALL the negative feelings at my job. I had been there for 4 years, but never got a chance to work full time, while the two newest hires who had only been there 2 months both got moved up. I can’t help but feel they were holding one mistake I made two years ago against me and never wanted to give me a chance. (that, or they knew I was reliable when it came to showing up for work in such a volatile position that sees a lot of new faces, and they didn’t want to bother going through the process of hiring someone new) I don’t want to risk my life working around guests who don’t wash their hands and don’t properly distance. I don’t want to gamble with my health when they won’t offer me health insurance because I’m part time.

 Mid October, I get an interview for a full time job and get hired on the spot. I peace out at the zoo 2 weeks later, literally 3 days before they planned to open my exhibit to the public. It was a close call for me to escape before they opened to the public (and pettiness was only partially the reason I dipped out so close to opening). Sorry new hires who are now in charge of the bird feeding exhibit. I taught you the best I could in the short time I had. If the managers are struggling with what to do with one less person, I can’t say I feel bad. I can only hope they delayed opening/closed you down again for your own safety. You are not lightbulbs. I really hope the higher ups stop considering you as replaceable as one. Will I go back to the zoo to visit? Probably. But not for a year at least.

 I started my new job the very next day after I quit the zoo, and have been there ever since, (which isn’t that long yet, tbh. Christmas day was my 2 month anniversary). It’s full time, but it’s also a small business, and everyone’s hours this year have been on the short side due to the plague. I understand, though. They don’t want us to work if they can’t afford to pay us. Everyone is nice enough, though some people smoke and it’s hard to avoid them with how frequently we have to go in and out, and I really don’t want to get lung cancer, sorry not sorry, please and thank you. Also, with such a small team, gossip is certainly harder to go undetected, so it’s a relief knowing people don’t talk behind one another’s backs.

 I participated and beat my 4th nanowrimo in a row, I made TWO apple crisps on thanksgiving, and made baklava on Christmas and both of these recipes were my first time making them, and they both came out adequately! I voted the first day of early voting, and I did an art trade/collab with two of my friends for my birthday! (normally we would have done monthly “art days” where we get together and do art projects for fun because we’re adults and we can spend our time together however we want, but the plague said otherwise this year) We drew pokemon and it was fun! (hopefully I can show you all the results soon. At the time of writing, I’m still waiting for the last two colored parts to get back to me)

 I reached 100 pages on my undertale comic, and finish the first arc out of…! (im not sure. It’s either going to be 4 or 5, I haven’t decided yet)

 Over all, I managed to stay healthy as far as I know. I wasn’t as productive as I wanted to be this year, but then again, who was? (don’t answer that. I don’t need that kind of comparison in my life right now)

 Will 2021be any better? Honestly? I don’t think so. Not right away, at least. Just because a new year is about to start does not mean the slate is completely wiped clean. The change of the calendar year doesn’t magically make all our current problems disappear. Covid will still be here and cases will still climb when January starts. Small business will still be strained when the month rolls over, police will still go on murdering innocent civilians and getting away scot free, amazon and disney will still be monopolizing all consumer goods and media, and I can’t help but feel like there’s an impending shit show about to go down on inauguration day. I do hope things will get better, though. It’ll be arduous and unpleasant, but I do hope things will improve, because sometimes hoping is all you can do.

 Good night.

[davidmann95]

All-Star Superman #3

This is gonna be a tough one.

Not the toughest, mind you - that’s probably going to be #7. But after two issues of establishing the tone, aesthetics, and thematic concerns of the series, this is one of the pair of issues in All-Star that for the most part functions as a ‘normal’ Superman adventure story, though in this case one following up on the themes established by the previous issue, while #7 will set up the one coming after it. It’s also likely the most commonly critiqued issue of the series in retrospect its use of Lois Lane as an essentially passive figure to be fought over, and while her characterization here lends some interesting dimension to that choice, it’s hard to disagree it’s the series’ most unfortunate framing and substantial missed opportunity. None of that however can overrule that on examination, there’s still considerably more going on in here than the traditional tale of Superman beating down monsters and showing up bullies, the harsh slap to the face of reality for Clark after his actions last issue and his redemption in the form of showing what makes him different from his predecessors as the strongman-savior template.

So I haven’t talked the lettering much in this series - it is, they say, the invisible art - but Phil Balsman absolutely kills it here with KRULL WILL EAT YOU!, and the decision on the next page to render the ZEE ZEE ZEE ZEE of Jimmy Olsen’s signal watch in the font of the title pages is absolutely inspired, nevermind what he does with the Ultrasphinx later on. The bombast of the bastard lizard prince of the underworld and his cronies wreaking havoc aside though, what this page succinctly does is set up the entire conflict of the issue. It’s not just a monster, it’s a monster out of the past mimicking the cover of Action Comics #1, and apparently by way of terraforming Metropolis via steam clouds, trying to take control of Superman’s ‘world’. From Krull to Steve Lombard (“You tell me what a spaceman flying around in his underwear can give her that a good old hunk of prime American manhood can’t?”) to Samson and Atlas to the Ultrasphinx, this is a story of Superman up against dinosaurs in his image.

Ironically, however, it’s this Superman vs. Bros comic that has perhaps the most Bro sensibilities in the series. Per Morrison on the subject, “For that particular story, I wanted to see Superman doing tough guy shit again, like he did in the early days and then again in the 70s, when he was written as a supremely cocky macho bastard for a while. I thought a little bit of that would be an antidote to the slightly soppy, Super–Christ portrayal that was starting to gain ground. Hence Samson’s broken arm, twisted in two directions beyond all repair. And Atlas in the hospital. And then Superman’s got his hot girlfriend dressed like a girl from Krypton and they’re making out on the moon.” That’s not unto itself a problem; it’s a precursor to Morrison’s t-shirt and jeans reinvention in that sense (which leapt back from the 70s to the 30s for inspiration), and when Superman himself finally gets his own back here it’s more than deserved. But it becomes a problem when Lois at theoretically her literal most empowered does little with her new powers and is framed narratively as a prize to be won in this ‘game’ of godlings, with Superman literally muttering “What do I have to do to make you keep your hands off my girl?” Morrison seems to be somewhat aware of the problems given Lois’s reasons for playing along (which are actually rather significant to the point of the issue) and her amused distaste at the suggestion of being ‘won’, and the issue is ultimately something of an argument against the macho storytelling tropes that drive that thinking. But it’s a far cry from the nuanced look at her and Superman’s relationship last issue offered, and there’s no virtue in overlooking it. As will be demonstrated again later on in the series in less structurally-embedded but more pointed ways, this was written almost 15 years ago, and mistakes were made.

Now we get to the book’s superheroed-up takes on Samson and Atlas, who are such delightful assholes. Occupying the Mxyzptlk/Prankster/Bizarro-in-his-friendlier-moods role of being the enemies to make Superman go ‘oh god, this guy’ as much as direct counterparts to him, they’re basically fratboys tooling around history and getting into trouble together, and Superman’s clearly had to clean up their messes before. They’re the champions of myth who operate by a morality that in no way precluded thievery, deception, and murder in pursuit of their grand ‘heroic’ conquests, the alpha male swaggering dipshit dudebro operating on Superman’s scale. And as much as they’re a pair of craven dumbasses who literally compare cock-sizes in here who Lois has no real interest in, their appearance is also the first and one of the only times in the series Superman puffs his chest out and does some traditional iconic posing, and he has good reason to be threatened - they’re trying to ply her with gifts and tales of miraculous feats basically exactly the same way he did last issue. He may have started to come clean with her, but he’s still playing his old Silver Age nervous bachelor games, and now that she’s got powers and costume to match his she’s showing him exactly where that bullshit is going to get him, teaching him a lesson just like he tried to teach her so many once upon a time.

As we’re around the midpoint of the issue, let’s talk the art. Quitely and Grant aren’t as showy with the tricks and effects as the first two issues; the one real noticeable structural thing is a consistent rhythm of zooming in-and-out on our four leads throughout the issue to keep a sense of momentum to a story mostly driven by conversation, culminating in the hyper zoom-ins of the Ultrasphnix sequence. But GOD there are so many perfect little details in here. The bow coming undone on Lois’s present, the glow of the super-serum (it feels so right that it literally glows, the ultimate alchemical potion), Lombard’s bouquet for Lois’s birthday party while Jimmy is bringing a conch of some sort as a presumed gift to whoever they’ll be meeting at Poseidonis, Jimmy’s happy-meal looking signal watch WHICH HAS A WRISTBAND SHAPED LIKE AN S, more beautiful Metropolis architecture and a good look at how the Daily Planet globe actually works, poor dopey-lookin’ Krull bursting through the satellite twirling around like a cat in a half-second of freefall, the Chronomobile, the far-off monumental stone towers of the Subterranosauri, the glow of the lava fading out as Samson reveals Superman’s fate, the bioelectric crackle around Atom-Hotep, mermaids waving up at Superman and Lois, and of course the pinup. It’s such a damn pretty book.

Just before the arrival of the Ultrasphnix, we have the mythic architecture of the series explained to us, naturally by the figure out of myth:

As noted by Morrison, the exact nature of the 12 challenges are never explained within the story because it’s only in retrospect that history will declare those specific feats as being of note in light of them being Superman’s last accomplishments before his ‘death’; Superman himself isn’t sure how many he’s done later on. It’s an apt if seemingly out-of-left-field bit of commentary on the way epics of the kind this story itself aspires towards are reinterpreted over time, but hindsight being 20/20? That this is a story of a massively iconic, archetypal take on Superman being brought out of the public eye to his physical and emotional lowest at every turn (hence the ACTUAL structure of the series being a solar arc across the sky, from day to a nighttime journey through the underworld and back again), that is now generally thought of being a fun fluffy story of how great and perfect Superman is, entirely bears it out. The 12 Labors of Superman are what Clark’s roughest year looks like to the awestruck onlookers, both in and as it turns out in large part out of text.

After Samson and Atlas seemingly show nobler colors by offering Superman aid in a genuinely stirring moment before Superman accurately dismisses it as the empty machismo posturing it is, Ultrasphinx - yet another super-champion of the past, this one an amoral god rather than a ‘hero’ on a quest - poses the unanswerable question of what happens when the unstoppable force meets the immovable object with Lois both alive and dead until he does (one of those unions of opposites Morrison loves), basically creating a high-stakes literalization of their relationship. Superman and Lois Lane had been playing will-they-or-won’t-they for almost 70 years at the time this was published (culturally at least), her trying to pry into his secrets while he screwed around with her in turn, running in circles until we finally reach the acidic psychodrama of Superman’s Forbidden Room and something has to break one way or another. And Superman answers that it’s time to surrender. Has he inspired the car ad we see at the end of the issue, or vice-versa? Either way, it’s illustrating by example what the deal is with the super-labors.

Superman, learning his lesson as he has and showing his greater heroism stems from his nobility, intellect, and willingness to transcend his worst instincts, still takes a minute to teach Samson and Atlas a well-deserved lesson (paired with that absolutely perfect shot of the rock cracking on Lois’s head), before taking us to my absolute favorite statement on why Superman loves Lois Lane which also connects back to the idea of surrender, and the iconic moon shot. And as Superman holds her as she falls asleep, his Clark voice in all its vulnerable humanity manifests itself as he tries to propose; the tough guys of the past wanted Lois for a day when she was finally operating on ‘their level’, Superman ‘lowers’ himself to his most human alongside her reassumed mortality as he tries to tell her he wants her for what lifetime he has left. We’re only halfway there at most, he still hasn’t admitted his condition and she still can’t accept that he’s Clark, but this is Superman taking his first step along his quiet character arc.

Additional notes

* Interestingly, the original solicitation for this issue declared “Meanwhile, Lex Luthor's plans simmer as the criminal mastermind exerts his charisma and intellect over the hardcore inmates who share his maximum-security prison.” One of many bits that changed in the process of actually putting the book together.

* Perhaps this story of very manly men out of time doing manly stuff and getting their asses kicked for it across generations is represented in part by Krull being the son of a king whose battle cry is KRULL WILL EAT YOUR CHILL-DRUNN! That might be reading a *bit* much into it though. That Morrison describes Krull in backmatter however as “the living embodiment of the savage, swaggering ‘R Complex’ or reptile brain” definitely plays into the ideas of the issue as I understood them.

* Jimmy’s declaration of “Ms. Grant, Mr. Lombard, I’m taking immediate steps” is a perfect little moment for him - he’s calm and on top of things, but there’s also that little touch of naive ego in thinking that it’s thanks to him that Superman’s going to notice the dinosaur invasion of Metropolis.

* In backmatter and interviews Morrison had substantially further fleshed-out backstories for several of the new characters here. Samson is indeed the original champion, plucked from his era by a pair of foolish time-travelers searching for a savior; instead, enamored and corrupted by future culture he stole their malfunctioning Chronomobile and went on adventures to slake his lust, for fortune, flesh, and adventure alike. Atlas meanwhile is the boisterous yet quietly burdened young prince of the New Mythos, a society of super-godlings torn between New Elysium and Hadia, Morrison’s vision of a Jack Kirby Olympian saga for DC following in the wake of Thor’s Norse myths rather than the full-blown invention of the New Gods. And the Ultrasphinx “is the super-champion of a lost Egyptian Atomic Age in the 80th century BC. When he crashed to Earth his otherworldly science founded the advanced, ancient dynasty of Atem-Hotep [sic], a civilization eventually destroyed by the nuclear war that left Northern Africa a desert”. A. Morrison backmatter rules and you should read it whenever you get the chance, and B. This notion of proto-civilizations mirroring the eventual legends of a mere handful of millennia past is one he followed much further in Seven Soldiers of Victory with Shining Knight and its antediluvian Camelot.

* The main inspiration for this particular story was the frequent use of ancient strongmen as rivals to the Man of Steel in the Silver Age, which Morrison noted preferring to the use of analogue characters like Majestic for their broad cultural standing, culminating in this:

...though with Atlas swapped in, as Marvel already had the definitive take on Hercules in superhero comics (and, one imagines, since putting Hercules in the comic where Superman gets 12 labors would have had to be addressed), though he’d tackle him later on in the...controversial Wonder Woman: Earth One. Morrison’s analysis of this cover in Supergods basically lays out the thesis of this issue quite cleanly: “This was what happened when you couldn’t make decisions or offer any lasting commitment. Samson pounced on your best girl. And for Superman, it was a horrific challenge to his modernity. Was he really no better than these archaic toughs? Or could he prove himself stronger, faster than any previous man-god?” Fun fact: I myself hate this comic because it’s an entirely standard issue that fully returns to status quo by the end, sullying the good name and promise of Imaginary Stories for nothing more than fooling readers into thinking this was one of the issues were anything could really happen. Shameful false advertisement.

* Worth noting this is a rare instance where the glowing-red angry heat vision eyes work for me. Those two were real dicks and had it coming, and for that matter Superman looking for all the world a wrathful god promising banishment to a very different sort of underworld more than underscores his relative position next to the suitably abashed adventurers.

* It’s an interesting choice to use Poseidonis here, the capital city of Aquaman - it’s a sensible place for Superman to travel (though the real implications regarding the Justice League in this world won’t be for awhile yet), but it’s Tritonis that’s the undersea home to Superman’s onetime love, the mermaid Lori Lemaris. Perhaps Morrison just didn’t want a subset of readers in the know and pining after all these decades for Clark to find succor in the arms of his fishy love to dwell on that particular what-could-have-been; either way, Atlantis in general as what sprung up from a devastated ancient civilization is a perfectly logical inclusion for this issue in general.

* Lois’s description of her super-senses is not only lovely, but sets up the victory of #12 right in the first act. Additionally Lois keeping a cactus is such a perfect little bit for her character - it’ll prick ya, but she’s working to keep the thing alive.

* The journeys to the moon and ‘underworld’ for this issue, but in playful and romantic contexts, marks this issue as the (depending on whether you read it as a 4 or 6 issue arc) final installment before All-Star Superman begins its structural descent into the night.

* A very happy birthday to Justin Martin (and a day-before-birthday to myself) with this, annotations of the issue of All-Star Superman about a birthday. Birthdays themselves being a signpost of time and evolution, a forward march, making it a potent occasion to highlight in this series in general and this installment in particular.

[yamayamawrites]

Bake Sale - KageHina

Find this on AO3 here or read below!

Summary - Tobio and Shouyo are put in charge of baking cookies and cupcakes for the Karasuno bake sale.

They’re only two minutes in, and Shouyo’s shirt is already wonderfully dusted with flour. There’s some in his hair, too, Tobio thinks, and before he can deliberate whether he wants to reach out and muss up Shouyo’s hair to get it out or swat him upside the head for being a dumbass, his friend is hopping up on the counter, making himself at home there.

“What are you doing,” Tobio says, more as a command, a tell me what you’re doing before I kill you, or something. And Shouyo just giggles and kicks his feet like some sort of schoolgirl, and the entire thing is very cutesy and Tobio feels like this was a very, very bad idea.

“I’m sitting up here! Look, it’s like it was made for short people, Bakageyama!” Shouyo cries, pulls his phone from his pocket and turns on some sort of instrumental playlist of sorts.

“Quit calling me that!” Tobio barks in response, and he reaches to grip Shouyo’s hair at the top of his head and yank, and Shouyo dodges easily. He’s not even looking – how did he do that? And Shouyo laughs more, sets his phone aside on the counter. “The hell is this music?” Tobio asks, glares daggers at the phone even though it’s certainly not the culprit.

“Lo-fi beats to bake and chill to,” Shouyo recites with an index finger in the air. “Don’t tell me you’ve never listened to a ‘lo-fi beats’ station before.”

Tobio bites his tongue. The question resides there, being squished between his teeth – what the hell are ‘lo-fi beats’ – but he’s got the impression that asking that question will result in more idiocy from the boy on the counter, and he really doesn’t want to get into it. Instead, he pulls out his own phone and splays it out on the countertop, where a cookie recipe is loaded up.

They’re participating in this year’s bake sale, for reasons unbeknownst to Tobio. Normally the sports’ bake sale doesn’t extend past the female sports’ teams, from what Yuu mentioned of last year’s event, but Sawamura and Koushi insisted that they participate this year, and Tobio doesn’t quite know why. Still, he’s always been decent at baking – he and his mother bake Christmas cookies every year on his birthday, it’s sort of tradition. His only worry is that Shouyo – who looks like a walking hazard traffic cone with his orange hair – will screw this up for him. For the team.

He reminds himself that these cookies are for the team, and that he cannot eat the cookie dough.

“Oi, why do you look so serious all the sudden?” Shouyo asks from the counter, his words escaping around a smirk. “Don’t tell me you’re also the king of the kitchen? Ooh, that sounds like an American cooking show. King of the—”

“Hinata,” Tobio interrupts, his eyes glazed over that way they get when he’s ultra-focused on the court, “are you going to help me or not?”

“Well the thing is,” Shouyo nervously prattles his fingertips together, “I’m ah, no good at cooking. Or baking. I lit a toaster on fire once.”

“You lit a—how did you light a toaster on fire?”

“I mean, technically it started with a piece of paper towel and so I didn’t light the toaster on fire from the beginning.”

“Why did you put a piece of paper towel in the toaster?!” Tobio shrieks, like it’s some sort of heinous crime. Because, well, it is. His toaster has only ever seen bread and bagels and the occasional pop tart, and toasting a paper towel for breakfast seems, first and foremost, unfulfilling. He doesn’t know the nutrient value of paper towels, but he assumes it can’t be any better than a piece of toast. Second, it seems like it would be tough to digest, considering it’s made to absorb and that would probably…cause problems. (Tobio’s having a hard time working out the details here.)

“To clean it!” Shouyo cries back, exasperated. He swings himself off the counter now and prods a finger into Tobio’s chest. “What, does Gross-Yama never clean his toaster?!”

Tobio’s face pales. Ah, of course. Shouyo didn’t toast the paper towel to eat the paper towel.

“Why did you have it plugged in while you were cleaning it, stupid?!” Tobio barks, hopes that his cheeks aren’t too red from his embarrassment of only now coming to the understanding he did.

Shouyo wrings his hands again, looking anywhere but Tobio. “I mean, I dunno…I just wanted toast but it wasn’t clean so I thought I’d clean it really fast and…is it even important?” He demands this last part, prods Tobio in the chest again, gaining some confidence now realizing they’ve been side-tracked and for once it isn’t Shouyo’s fault.

“I mean,” Tobio defends, pokes a finger right back into Shouyo’s chest, “I want to make sure you’re not planning on lighting my kitchen on fire!”

Shouyo seems to take this as a fair enough excuse, because he huffs and turns his back to Tobio. “Whatever,” he grumbles finally, crosses his arms over his chest and leans over the counter to glare at Tobio’s phone screen. “What do you want me to do, Chef Kageyama?”

“If you’re a fire hazard, you should probably just mix ingredients,” Tobio glares.

“It’s not like I spontaneously combusted!” Shouyo shrieks, and cookies are forgotten as Shouyo once again leans into Tobio’s personal space, his little spindly fingers poking and prodding at Tobio’s chest in a way that is both extremely irritating and incredibly hot, and Tobio has to consciously remind himself that Shouyo has never once shown any romantic interest in him and if his resolve snaps now, while they’re baking cookies of all things, he will never be able to look Shouyo in the eye again. So he decides it best to turn around and ignore Shouyo altogether, crossing the kitchen to the cabinets and digging through for the proper ingredients.

Luckily enough for them, Koushi and Sawamura did all the shopping. The shelves are stocked with baking goods, a few boxed cake mixes for cupcakes later, and decorations. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi have probably already finished their baking, Tobio thinks stubbornly, staring at all the ingredients and reciting the list of tasks they have to complete in his head. They’re expected to make four dozen cookies and four dozen cupcakes, while Kei and Tadashi are in charge of making mochi balls. Tobio would have much rather made mochi balls, he thinks – he likes ice cream best – but they got first draw and Tobio’s still sour about it.

He comes back to the island with heaps of ingredients in his arms, and Shouyo’s standing on his counters to grab every single bowl that resides in the kitchen. “Dumbass,” Tobio barks at him, and the result is Shouyo dropping a silver mixing bowl in surprise and nearly falling off the counter he’s standing on. Instinctively, Tobio circles the island in case Shouyo decides to fall – he doesn’t need to clean up blood in his kitchen when he’s certain it’ll already be messy enough with Shouyo baking beside him.

And he’s not wrong. They’re halfway through the first batch of cookies – sugar cookies, arguably the easiest kind of cookie to make – when Shouyo spills the powdered sugar on the floor.

Tobio seethes, thinks for a moment that steam actually might be coming out of his ears with how comically angry he is. He’d told Shouyo not to sit on the counter, but Shouyo had stuck his tongue out and fuckin’ done it anyway like he owned the place, and while he was dancing to some instrumental garbage that Tobio still hasn’t gotten him to change, he managed to swing his knee up and knock into the large bag of powdered sugar.

“You dunce!” Tobio cries, and Shouyo’s yelping in surprise and jumping off the counter to clean it up, but it’s too late – nearly a quarter of the bag is lost to the kitchen floor. Tobio rubs his temple with the oncoming of a headache, quite likely caused by the pressure he’s applying to his forehead in the first place, but he’s too angry to care. “Sweep it up, idiot! Using a wet rag will only make it stick to the ground!”

The way Shouyo gasps out a “Yes, sir!” makes Tobio almost feel bad for yelling; Shouyo sounds a little scared. Then again, he should sound scared – he should be scared – because Tobio is intimidating and mean and most certainly not soft for his spiker. No way. Not soft for Shouyo.

But Shouyo’s so soft.

Tobio’s helpless, gooey, right-brain supplies this thought right as Shouyo clambers onto his knees with a hand broom to clean up the mound of powdered sugar littering the floor. His cheeks somehow have powdered sugar on them, and some clings to Shouyo’s nose and lips as he sweeps a little too hard and gets powdered sugar on his face. Tobio feels like he’s done it on purpose, because the way he grins sheepishly and upturns his head to face Tobio has his heart melting like glaze off a donut and he really can’t look for too long or he’ll dissolve.

“Sorry, Kageyama,” Shouyo lilts from the ground. “I made a little bit of a mess, huh?”

“Fuck kind of game are you playing?” Tobio grunts back. “You look like a Lolita, stupid.”

Shouyo tilts his head to the side, and the way he sits back on his heels so his thighs splay thick below him is really unfair, especially considering how toned those stupid thighs are and how many times Tobio has unfortunately thought about leaving marks on them aside from the natural bruises and bumps Shouyo gathers from volleyball practice. “Lolita?” he asks, as if he doesn’t know, as if he isn’t acting like one right now, and Tobio’s cheeks erupt bright red in a strange mixture of anger and embarrassment that he’s sure he’s felt before.

“Idiot!” he barks out. “Lolita, you know? Ugh, just clean the rest of it up. I’m going to put the dough in the fridge,” he grumbles as he rolls the sugar cookie dough out into a slab and wraps it in plastic wrap. He tucks it into the refrigerator as Shouyo finishes sweeping.

“I’m really sorry, Tobio,” Shouyo murmurs as he passes behind Tobio on the way to the trash can, and the sound of his first name on Shouyo’s lips makes Tobio’s body recoil enough that he throws out a hand instinctively.

And knocks the dustpan full of powdered sugar all over the goddamn kitchen.

“Hey, what the fuck was that for?” Shouyo whines, having taken a surprising amount of sugar to the face. And he’s coughing, ready to sneeze it looks like, with the amount of powdered sugar on his face.

“Why’d you call me that?!” Tobio yelps back, as if he can in any way construe this to be Shouyo’s fault and not entirely his for his limb’s awkward flailing. But he will sure as hell try to blame this on Shouyo.

“I dunno!” Shouyo cries defensively, and now he does sneeze, in a cutely stupidly adorable way that has Tobio recoiling like he’s just taken psychic damage. He nearly flings another arm out in the opposite direction and knocks over their bowl of half-mixed chocolate chip cookie dough. Luckily, he catches himself this time.

“Just – go clean yourself up,” Tobio grimaces, and his voice drops in decibels until it’s hardly audible over the sound of the stupid music playing in the background. Tobio vows to change it the second Shouyo leaves. “I’ve got extra shirts and stuff in my bedroom. Go change, you look like you were inside a baby powder factory that exploded.”

Shouyo sticks out his tongue, then licks his lips and giggles. He giggles. And Tobio thinks to any and all gods who live above, please save me from this stupid cute boy. I don’t want to be gay anymore if it means having to be attracted to such a dumbass. The gods don’t listen, because as Shouyo skips off down the hall, Tobio’s left watching his thighs as he goes.

His first course of action is to change the music. He knows Shouyo’s phone password – not because Shouyo has told him in case he forgets it, but because it’s his stupid birthday, which is a stupid password, and also his own passcode on his phone. He stops that heinous music and instead turns on a playlist of hits from the last decade, which he also quickly regrets, and decides to settle for no music, instead turning on a volleyball game in the living room that he can see from his spot at the island. He likes this much better, he decides.

Then, even though all of this took a good four minutes and twenty-two seconds (Tobio is keeping track for no reason whatsoever of how long Shouyo spends snooping in his room), Shouyo still hasn’t returned, so Tobio’s next course of action is to get as many cookies on baking sheets as he can before the monster returns. He manages three dozen, and he’s just getting the sugar cookie dough from the refrigerator as Shouyo returns.

And Tobio really shouldn’t have offered up his own clothes.

They hang off him like a blanket. Shouyo’s put on one of Tobio’s old middle school tee shirts, probably with the hope that it will be smaller (and it’s most certainly not). Tobio nearly can’t tell Shouyo’s even wearing pants – he’d worn super short shorts over here, claiming it was because of the heat but Tobio almost feels like he’s being teased. And, to top it off, Shouyo’s pulled his bangs into two high-sitting pigtails.

His jaw must have dropped because when Shouyo walks back into the kitchen the first thing he does is press his palm roughly into Tobio’s chin, sends his bottom jaw back upward into his top one. And what little mental cognition Tobio has left is dedicated to moving his tongue out of the way so he doesn’t bite it when Shouyo does this. He can’t even formulate an angry response – can’t even call Shouyo a dumbass – because his tongue feels swollen and heavy in his mouth and he wonders if he really did bite it and he just can’t feel it because he’s so distracted. “Shut up,” Shouyo huffs. “I know I look stupid but I thought this would help keep the flour out of my hair.”

“Maybe if you weren’t such a dumbass you wouldn’t get flour in your hair in the first place,” Tobio shoots back, and he doesn’t really remember wanting to say that but he just shrugs. Better than accidentally calling Shouyo a Lolita again.

But maybe not, because Shouyo had grabbed a half-cup of flour as Tobio said that, and he decided his next course of action would be to dump it on Tobio’s head.

Tobio blinks, shakes his head a little, and he can tell by Shouyo’s widening eyes that he knows he shouldn’t have done that, because now Tobio’s pissed, now he’s going to beat the shit out of Shouyo and it doesn’t matter how damn attractive those thighs and that face and that ass are, because he’s dead, and Tobio’s not into dead things. (Call that human decency.)

“Shouyo,” he says, voice quiet and dripping with malice. And Shouyo takes a step back, but he’s trapped between the counter and Tobio, and his lip is quivering like he’s either going to laugh or cry, and Tobio can’t tell which will be worse. He grabs hold of one of Shouyo’s stupid little pigtails, but he doesn’t tug yet; instead he watches the way Shouyo’s face contorts in preparation to have his nose broken. “What the fuck did you do that for?”

“Y-y-you said,” Shouyo’s stuttering, and god it’s cute, it’s so cute. “I-I mean! Now y-you’re a dumbass, too!”

“I’m a what?!” Tobio barks.

“Y’know, a dumbass,” Shouyo replies, as if Tobio doesn’t remember what a dumbass is. “Stupid. Himbo.” He waves his arms in vague gestures and that lip quivering is gone but his eyes are still blown wide, still trying to remember the phone number for ‘9-1-1’ probably in case this goes haywire.

Tobio moves his other hand to steady himself on the counter, effectively caging Shouyo in. “Is that what you think?” he seethes, and he can see that lip beginning to quiver again. “I can’t believe you spilled powdered sugar all over the floor and got shit all over your face and lit a goddamn toaster on fire, but I’m the idiot here.”

“To be fair, you knocked a dustpan full of powdered sugar all over the floor,” Shouyo comments feebly, lifts his index finger pointedly.

The hand clamped around his pigtail moves down and grabs the collar of Shouyo’s (his) shirt, and he leans closer to Shouyo, who really doesn’t look scared enough anymore. “I only did that because you called me—”

“What?” Shouyo shoots back, and now he looks more defiant than anything. “Tobio? I called you by your name and so you threw powdered sugar everywhere?”

Tobio scowls at him. “Fuck you, you’d do the same thing,” he glares.

“Actually, I wouldn’t.”

“Would too.”

“Would not.”

“Would too!”

“Would not times ten!”

“Would too times a thousand!”

Shouyo gasps, appalled by jumping from ten to a thousand, and Tobio smirks, victorious. “Shouyo,” he murmurs, low and intimidating like Shouyo did to him, and Tobio sees him shrink, sees him quiver a bit. Whether it’s under his gaze or his hands he can’t tell; both of his hands, now, have migrated to the shirt collar and hold him there. And their faces are close together – almost too close for comfort, but Tobio’s trying to prove a point right now – and Shouyo’s jaw has dropped now. Tobio almost wants to do the same to him, to but a palm to his chin and forced his mouth closed, but then that mouth is on his and he forgets literally everything that’s led up to this moment.

Shouyo tastes like powdered sugar. He tastes too sweet and yet it’s not enough, as if it’s not as sweet as Tobio’s expecting. And his lips move hungrily, like he’s desperately trying to find the same sweetness on Tobio’s lips, but Tobio isn’t a dumbass and hasn’t had his face covered in baking supplies (though he has been sneaking cookie dough when Shouyo isn’t looking). Tobio’s entire body tenses for a millisecond, trying to recall if he’s the one who instigated this but he doesn’t think so because his eyes are opened and Shouyo’s are closed. And so he wraps an arm underneath Shouyo’s legs and places him on the counter, and his fingers knot in Shouyo’s hair, desperate and hot in the warm kitchen, and their lips press against each other’s roughly, like this is all either of them have wanted.

Shouyo moves to pull away from the kiss but Tobio chases his lips, chases the feeling he’s been so desperate to learn since the end of their first game, since the first time he’s seen Shouyo really fly on the court. (He initially worried that maybe he was gay for birds, but he’s just gay for boys who can jump. It’s a relief, really.)

“Tobio,” Shouyo sighs out, and between each syllable is another peck of the lips, another moment where Tobio’s trying to memorize the imprint of Shouyo’s mouth on his own. “Cookies.” Tobio ignores him. Shouyo’s hands meet Tobio’s shoulders and give a weak shove. “Cookies,” he repeats, and that’s when Tobio hears it – the sound of the oven timer going off. He forces his lips away from Shouyo’s with more effort than he assumed it would take, and quickly he’s pulling out sheets of cookies and setting them on the counter to cool. And Shouyo’s waiting expectantly for him on the counter across the room, and this time it’s Tobio who initiates it, and Shouyo’s left following along.

When they finally force themselves away from each other for more than a half second to inhale a sharp suck of breath, they’re panting and red-faced and Shouyo’s hair is tangled and there’s flour dripping down Tobio’s hair to the back of his shirt. He shakes the rest of it out into Shouyo’s lap, and Shouyo squeals and squirms, laughing and trying to push Tobio away from him. “Stop it, stop it!” he’s wheezing, and Tobio’s laughing – he’s laughing at this – and he doesn’t know that he’s ever been happier than this.

“You dumped it on me!” Tobio replies, through laughs and gentle nudges and kisses, oh god Shouyo’s kissing him again and he nearly faints. He forgets all about the cookies, damn the cookies, damn the cupcakes they need to make later because Shouyo’s lips are the only sweet thing he ever wants to taste again, and he’s probably being a melodramatic horny teenager but damn it all if that’s not what he wants. To be a melodramatic horny teenager with a short boyfriend who can also fly and is just as stupid as him.

He sighs past Shouyo’s lips. Of all the people he could have been gay for, it had to be a stupid idiot jumping bean.

The baking process goes decently smoother in the afternoon, considering their rough start in the morning with spilled sugar and cups of flour and the subsequent cookie-dough fight that happened after they finally parted their lips for more than a minute and a half. Tobio surveys the damage – there are still globs of cookie dough sticking to various bits of cabinetry and a piece even managed to get stuck to the corner of the television – and he sighs. But Shouyo’s arms are around his waist, trying to grab the bowl of cake mix from his hands, and Tobio thinks that the efforts to clean will be completely worth it for the opportunity to kiss the boy clinging to him.

Once he finishes mixing, he holds the spoon over his shoulder for Shouyo to lick it, then licks the spoon himself. “Gross,” Shouyo whines. “I just licked that!”

“My tongue was literally in your mouth two minutes ago,” Tobio deadpans back, and Shouyo laughs.

And Tobio doesn’t have to refrain from swallowing that laugh with a kiss.

[myriadimagines]

Quite The Contrary

Game of Thrones One Shot

Pairing: Reader x Jaime Lannister

Other Characters: Ned Stark, Arya Stark, Sansa Stark

Warnings: Mild violence

Requester: anonymous

Request: “(1/2) One-Shot: Jaime Lannister x reader, where the reader is Ned Star youngest sister, known as the Silver Wolf, she had always loved winter and coldness more than anything and is absolutely not amused when she had to go in Kings Landing with her brother and nieces, of course her behavior catch Jaime's eyes. In Kings Landing the reader manage to participate at a tournament without anyone permission and Jaime start to fall for her. (2/2) The reader isn't quite not sure if she should return his feelings, but still loved him anyway.” 

Word Count: 1,834

A/N: The amount of time I spent procrastinating this................ unbelievable. I wrote like six different sections of it not chronologically then had to create some botched transitions to patch it all together. If it was a blanket it would look like a really screwed up quilt. And yet I am still unsatisfied with the result, but then again am I ever. Anyway sorry for the weird analogy

please reblog/leave comments, they’re very much appreciated!

Your name: submit What is this?

King’s Landing is a repulsive cesspool of corruption and horrors that you abhor setting foot in. It represents all that is wrong with society, a city that, despite its large population, lacks warmth and familiarity, a place that you could never call home. The Red Keep towers over the city, a prominent, shadowing reminder of the wealth and power of the few that reside inside, a distinct dichotomy from places such as Flea Bottom, where the poor are forced to live in meager conditions and survive on the minimum. 

To top it all off, you despise the warm climate of King’s Landing, much preferring the familiar coolness of Winterfell, the environment you’ve grown up in and have known all your life.

As you walk your horse through the streets of King’s Landing, tightening your reins as you avoid the blatant stares of the civilians around you, you remind yourself that the only reason you agreed to come here was for Sansa and Arya. Ned had insisted you come, explaining that he needed someone to take care of the girls, as he expected to be mostly occupied with his newfound job as Hand of the King. You had reluctantly agreed to do your older brother this favor, ignoring his teasing laughter as you grumbled to him about how much he owes you for this. 

The crowds before you suddenly part, scattering to the edge of the cobblestone streets as you realize another horse is trotting towards you. Squaring your shoulders, your immediately recognize the signature Lannister armor, the gold details glimmering under the blazing sunlight before the knight’s face comes into focus.

He’s smirking at you, lips quirked upward in a mixture of amusement and fascination, and your eyes narrow as Jaime Lannister pulls his horse to a halt.

“y/n Stark.” he greets, his pompous tone almost immediately irritating you. Exaggeratedly gesturing behind him, he continues, “Welcome to King’s Landing.”

“Delighted to be here.” you deadpan, and you feel momentarily at a loss for words as you manage to make Jaime laugh. He smiles at you, flashing you a gorgeous grin that makes your breath hitch, and you press your lips together in a flat line to stop yourself from smiling back.

“If you follow me, I can show you around.” Jaime offers, extending his hand. You quickly snap out of your trance, shaking your head as you gather your reins in your hands, already steering your horse past Jaime’s. 

“I’ll find my own way.” you lean towards him, and at this, Jaime raises an eyebrow. You nudge your heels into the sides of your horse and trot off, and Jaime turns his head, his gaze following you. To turn down King’s Landing’s golden boy, to not fall victim to the infamous Jaime Lannister’s charms, is almost unheard of. 

But Jaime is never one to turn down a challenge.

—

You gaze out of your balcony, leaning against the edge as you admire the view of King’s Landing from your chambers. Despite the ugliness that hides underneath the uniformed streets and golden sunlight pouring down, you can’t deny the city’s beauty. 

“y/n!” a young voice calls out to you, and you turn to see Arya standing in your doorway. You smile at her, raising an eyebrow as Arya continues, “I want to go explore.”

You shake your head, already hearing Ned berating you for allowing Arya to run through the streets alone if you allow her too. Your travels exhausted you, and you can’t summon the energy to accompany Arya’s energetic self.

“Go play with Sansa.” you wave your hand, and Arya frowns, stubbornly folding her arms across her chest and firmly planting her feet in the ground.

“No!” Arya snaps, and you bite back an amused smile as you tilt your head towards your young niece. “Sansa’s boring — all she talks about is getting married to stupid Joffrey. I want to do something fun.”

You chuckle, shaking your head as you beckon for Arya to come closer. Although you love both your nieces dearly, you always feel like you can relate to Arya more than Sansa. Checking to make sure the doorway is empty, you decide maybe you can muster up some energy, and you lean towards her as you say, “If you want to have some fun, I think I have just the thing in mind.”

—

The helmet that precariously balances on Arya’s head is comically oversized, yet it was the only thing you could find to hide her face from the crowds. You firmly grip her wriggling hand as she attempts to dart ahead of you, her excitement getting the better of her as the two of you squeeze past cheering crowds, making your way into a clearing. You can see Arya’s eyes widen, exhilarated, as she sees horses galloping towards one another, the joust full of action as the sound of thundering hooves almost overpower the rowdy yelling of the crowds. Over in the stands, you can see Ned and Sansa watching intently, and you quickly duck your head to avoid being seen by your brother. Arya jumps up and down excitedly as you smile at her, before directing her towards another clearing, where smaller tournaments of sword fighting are taking place. 

Arya manages to slip out of your grasp, running towards the makeshift barrier around the circumference of the area. You chase after her, watching just in time as one of the men knocks the other down, driving his sword into the soil as he places his foot on his opponent’s chest for good measure. The crowd around erupts into a series of cheers and jabs, and you watch as some men gleefully accept money from others, presumably from bets taken place before the tournament. Your eyes scan the arena, and you see a small stand filled with swords and armor to the side, and an idea pops into your head. You kneel before Arya, a mischievous glint in your eye as you instruct, “Promise me you’ll stay put.”

Arya’s eyebrows furrow. “Where are you going?”

You look over your shoulder at the swords, and Arya almost immediately understands. A grin lights up her face as you give her shoulder a little squeeze, and you take the helmet off her head before slipping it on. Just as the man in the arena calls out to the crowd for any challengers, you raise your hand, already putting on some armor abandoned by the weapons before you draw a sword. The man, unable to see your face, gladly accepts, beckoning you to come into the area just as Jaime strolls up, lingering in a slightly secluded corner to avoid drawing attention. The men around him start placing their bets, none of them having faith in the strange newcomer who showed up unannounced. You don’t waste much time, quickly making the first move as you swing the sword, which doesn’t quite move in the way you want it to as your opponent skips to the side. You readjust your grip, becoming accustomed to the weight of the weapon in your hand, and you swing again. Better now, you think, and your opponent stumbles backwards clumsily as he narrowly dodges your strike. 

“Go y/n!” Ayra’s shrill voice is barely heard over the crowd, but you smile under your helmet at your niece’s enthusiasm. Unbeknownst to you, you are not the only one to hear Arya’s encouragement, and Jaime’s head snaps in Arya’s direction before his eyes widen in surprise. He quickly connects the dots, watching you and your opponent skip around the arena, listening to metal clanging and low grunts as the two of you advance and retreat towards one another. Smirking to himself, Jaime folds his arms across his chest, studying your every move — it’s impressive, watching you fight. It’s not long before it’s clear you have the upper hand, ruthlessly pushing your opponent towards the edge of the arena, and your opponent can do nothing but helplessly defend himself with choppy blows with a sword that feels increasingly heavy in his tired arm. Arya lets out another loud cheer as you strike again, knocking the sword out of his hand, and you raise your leg to kick him square in the chest. The audience roars as your opponent falls, and you angle the tip of your sword under his chin. 

Jaime raises an eyebrow, feeling a smile settle onto his lips as you tilt your opponent’s head up with your sword. He has to admit, it’s rather attractive.

Perhaps it was the adrenaline, the intoxicating atmosphere of the crazed crowd, but against your better judgement, you pull off your helmet, revealing your smug smile as crowd erupts into chaos, and Jaime’s smile only widens.

Your opponent’s face immediately flushes, no doubt embarrassed by his defeat at the hands of a woman, yet you only find it more satisfying, more entertaining. Stepping back, you turn to the crowds, dramatically bowing as they boo at you, and you can see Arya at the front of the crowd, angrily pummeling the leg of the man beside her in an attempt to defend your honor. Laughing to yourself, you quickly jog away before the crowd can get more hostile. You are just beginning to take off your armor in a quiet corner you’ve found when you hear someone clear their throat.

“Impressive.” Jaime’s voice stops you, and you turn to see him leaning against a post, gaze flickering up and down your armored body before he steps closer. “I enjoyed watching you fight.”

“Is that so?” you attempt to maintain indifference, ignoring Jaime’s blatant gaze sweeping over you. He chuckles, taking another step towards you, and you swear he’s close enough to hear your wildly beating heart give you away. Tilting your chin up, you somehow manage to keep your voice steady as you taunt, “Scared, Lannister?”

“Of you? No, quite the contrary.” Jaime grins. “I think perhaps we could train together. I could give you a few pointers, correct your form.”

At this, Jaime’s hand finds yours, tracing a finger down your arm before he turns your hand over in his. You feel set alight at his touch, but you know better than to associate with a Lannister.

Yet you can’t stop yourself from falling off the cliffside when you’ve already descended.

“I’ll have to think about your offer.” you snatch your hand away, flashing a sickly sweet smile before taking a step back, and Jaime shakes his head at you as he knows what you’re trying to do. Your smile turns suggestive as you shrug, and you continue, “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have to find my niece.”

You flash him one last smile before you turn, disappearing into the crowd to find Arya as you ignore your heart bursting out of your chest. Jaime knows the game you’re trying to play, knows you’re only delaying the inevitable.

But he’s willing to play, anyway. He is oh, so willing.

tags: @chinike / @gofandomsandotherstuff / @emmacata / @pascalisthepunkest​ / @musicallisto ↳ want to be added to the tag list?

[apocalypse3dx]

The FTC thinks YOU are a Child

Y'all ready for the rant of the month, well strap in, because here it comes! Apparently, due to some shady business tactics, used by certain YouTube Channels who were clearly pushing products aimed at children while pretending to be an unbiased review (the channels, I believe, where operated by the product manufacturers themselves but they paid a child presenter to host the channel and the review) Google/YouTube lost a $170,000,000 law suit to the FTC, because YouTube gathers analytic data on YouTube views, and thus illegally gathered data about minors without their parents consent and provided targeted advertisements and links (these only apply if you DO NOT use the YouTube Kids app/page, so for fucks sake, if you have kids who watch YouTube, have them use the kid friendly version!) Why am I so pissed about it? Because due to this whole issue YouTube and FTC are ganging up to start punishing any YouTube Channel that provides what they call "Child Attractive" content. So let's say you make a video about how you found your old G.I. Joe Mobile Battle Platform, or your original 1980's Barbie Dreamhouse, in your attic and how much you loved it as a kid, or how much it sucks in hind sight, if YouTube or the FTC flags your video or channel, you will no longer get Recommended to other viewers, you cannot earn ad revenue, viewers cannot leave comments, you may be banned from hosting live-streams, your video will not show up in searches... Essentially, your video is dead, and possibly your channel to. So if you've spent the last 10 years building a YouTube channel based on retro toys, comics,adult collectibles, etc. until it becomes so popular that it becomes your career, you're screwed. And it gets worse, if the FTC decides that a video/videos are in violation of the COPPA Act (Children's Online Privacy Protection Act) then YOU (not YouTube, YOU the video creator) face a fine of $42,000 per video... Are they insane?! Why should you care? Well, That's a good question Skippy, I'm glad you asked... Maybe you don't have or want a YouTube Channel... Maybe you think it's a silly way for an adult to make a living (well aren't you a ray of sunshine?!) Doesn't matter, from New Years onward, if you watch a video related to toys, vintage toys, actions figures, collectibles, Barbie, dollhouses, cartoons, etc. then YouTube, and the Federal Trade Commission will assume that YOU are a CHILD!If it wasn't bad enough your parents or co-workers judging you, now the Government has decided that no adult human being could possibly like cartoons (despite the four most popular animated TV shows of the last three decades all carrying a TV-MA rating), or Toys (Except half of all Hasbro and Mattel's business coming from adult collectibles),or Video Games (come on, do I even have to say it? GTA, Fallout, Assassin's Creed, BioShock all rated M for Mature) or comics (have you even tried to read a comic book in the last two decades? It's like a soap opera with super powers)! No YOU MUST BE A CHILD! Well to that I say... FUCK YOU FTC!!! Fuck you... Now as it happens, several of my favorite YouTube Channels deal with either vintage toys and cartoons from the 1970's and 80's or collectible action figures. These channels, like RetroBlasting, Toy Paloy, Toy Galaxy, Pixel Dan, etc., do not cater to kids, and never have. Half of them wouldn't really interest anyone under 25. But they are in the cross hairs with any other channel that talks about toys, and it's ridiculous. And what's scarier is that once channels like this are purged (more then a few YouTube creators have already jumped ship) there with still be kids on YouTube. Kids in need of something to watch, and Google is still gathering data... so in 6 months, we're gonna have to go through all of this again, except this time it could be Video Game reviews and Lore videos on the chopping block (If they take down Oxhorn, so help me, I'll riot!!!) or videos about things like 'Weird stuff you never noticed in classic cartoons" or "Details Disney didn't want you to see", and channels like Dorkly, What Culture, Looper, Nerdist, etc. are gone... But the kids will still be looking for something to watch... You get me? Marvel and the Avengers, Star Wars, Star Trek, Transformers,GI JOE, He-Man, MASK, The X-Men, My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, ThunderCats, Silver Hawks... pretty much anything my generation grew up with (And pretty much ANYTHING ever mentioned on an episode of Robot Chicken) is in danger of becoming a 'buzz word' that will get a content creator in trouble for talking about it! Then what are we supposed to talk about, THE FUCKING WEATHER?! Well,(and it goes without saying, but all of this only applies to folks in the US) you can tell the FTC to fix the problem instead of blindly groping for a bandaid... The FTC has asked for comments on the matter (a sign that they KNOW this ain't gonna work) so you can go here to leave a comment or suggestion https://www.regulations.gov/comment?D=FTC-2019-0054-0001 Check Out this RetroBlasting Video for info on what to do about it!

Or you can check out this video by Retroblasting (in fact, if you grew up in the 80's check them out anyway) where Mike, one of the owners, explains the problem, and has links to a form letter you can send in (saves you from having to type a page full of "fuck off, fuck off, fuck off" and it was composed by a Media Lawyer. So it may actual get through to them... Either way, I suggest you do something, we've already had a ton of creators (adult artists mind you) get kicked off of Blogspot and then Tumblr because we got lumped in with perverts and pedos, now even lovers of old toys and cartoons aren't safe because the government has no problem making sweeping generalizations. Companies and even the government need to learn that the way to solve online problems is not to over react and punish everyone in sight (isn't that the online equivalent of saying "we all look alike"?) but to come up with a well thought out and reasonable response that actually addresses the matter at hand. Thanks for reading this far, Stay Classy Tumblr!

[armageddon-generation]

The Big Moffat Rewrite: Series 7

Following on from my Series 5 and my Series 6 rewrites

XMAS SPECIAL The Snowmen

The Bells of Saint John

The Rings of Akhaten

Cold War

A Town Called Mercy

The Slow Invasion

Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS

Asylum of the Cybermen

Nightmare in Silver

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship

Hide

Supremacy of the Daleks

Extermination of the Daleks

The Name of the Doctor

The Snowmen

·         11 is still a recluse in Victorian London, but because in my Series 6 he left the Ponds instead of losing them, it’s because he’s convinced he’ll screw up if he travels again. After wiping himself from history he’s lying low, not helping because he’s convinced he’ll make things worse

·         (also he’s totally wallowing in self-pity because of his self-imposed exile from the Ponds)

·         Clara re-convinces him he can make positive change, drags him out of his self-absorption, shows him something new

 CLARA’s CHARACTER

·         Clara gets all of series 7. Moffat originally wanted The Time of the Doctor to be a whole series, so we can fit some of that stuff about the Silence and Trenzalore in here.

·         GIVE CLARA A FUCKING ARC – the Doctor takes an ordinary girl who he thinks is special, and accidentally makes her special

·         Most people seem to prefer Victorian! Clara to her in S7B anyway, so she becomes that flirty, authoritative character by the finale

·         The pieces were already there – her being scared in Cold War compared to her taking charge in Nightmare in Silver, but make it explicit – the Doctor realises he is changing Clara and turning her into the person he met in Victorian London and the Cyberman Asylum

·         This sets up her arcs and relationship with 12 – he brings out the liar in her, forces her to become cold and calculating. This is now already happening with 11

The Rings of Akhaten

·         Introduce Trisha Lem, the head of the Church of the Silence, here. The best part of this episode is The Speech, but we could easily say that the Silence is presiding over the Long Song ceremony to appease the Old God, taking the place of those creatures hunting the little girl. 

·         (I imagine the Church pre-Trenzalore as a kind of Shadow Proclamation for religion - presiding over and safeguarding the religious traditions of species across the universe)

·         This way Trisha and the Silence’s role as confessionals doesn’t come out of nowhere in The Time of the Doctor

·         11 and Trisha’s relationship being so flirty confuses me - as the head of the Church, 11 must associate her with all the pain the Silence caused River and the Ponds. Instead, he acts really flirty but Clara notices he’s faking it – a reflection of their own relationship?

·         Trisha doesn’t understand why 11 is being elusive.

A Town Called Mercy

·         Use this story’s framework – a Western where 11 is forced to protect war criminal – and insert River

·         Partly bc River and Clara interacting seems super interesting

·         River is angry at 11 for ‘replacing’ the Ponds. I also think she’d be competitive with Clara? As she’s scattered all over the Doctor’s timestream, Clara is the only person who really could compete with her

·         As an archaeologist expert on the Doctor River knows about Clara, but can’t tell 11 exactly what she is

·         Also 11 agreeing with River’s more violent methodology is really interesting and shows how they can feed into each other’s dark sides – think River’s line from The Angels Take Manhattan – “One psychopath per TARDIS, don’t you think?”

The Slow Invasion

·         A version of The Power of Three told from the perspective of the Alice character who replaced Craig in S5/6. 11 pops in and out of her life with different versions of Clara

·         It’s revealed that 11 has tried to travel with different versions of Clara before, tracking her down all across the universe, but she always, always dies. Our Clara doesn’t know.

·         Alice is deeply critical of what 11 is doing. She acts almost as his therapist; he comes over for tea and talks to her about what’s going on.

·         Instead of the cubes being alien exterminators, this is a plot buy the Great Intelligence (series 7′s big bad) inspired by the Skith from DWM comic The First and Superman villain Brainiac – i.e. the Intelligence is collecting all information it can about a thing, and then destroys it to stop that knowledge becoming commonplace and therefore losing its value. Specifically, the Intelligence is also investigating Clara (because she keeps appearing across its timeline). The Intelligence’s fascination is a dark parallel to 11’s

·         Alice asks 11 what happened to the Ponds, and he reveals they still think he’s dead. Alice tells 11 to go see them (the ending scenes of The Doctor, the Widow and The Wardrobe). She also tells him to start treating Clara like a real person, not a human question mark

·         11 takes Clara to meet them. River is also there, having dinner. The episode closes with them reconnecting

Pond Life

·         After The Slow Invasion launch this minisode series about life post-11, with River barging in instead of the Doctor

Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS

·         Tie the TARDIS disliking Clara into the series arc – it’s because the TARDIS knows Clara is an anomaly scattered through the Doctor’s timestream. Have a scene in Journey To the Centre of the TARDIS where 11 argues with the TARDIS about it – “Do you know what she is? You do, don’t you? I miss the time when you could talk and just tell me.”

·         The TARDIS went to the end of the universe to throw Jack Harkness off, and 11 abandoned Future!Amy in The Girl Who Waited because the TARDIS hates paradoxes – this is the same kind of thing, just make it clear by the finale (Clara even jumps into the time stream INSIDE the TARDIS)

·         Clara remembers the events of the episode so she can be be active in the investigation of who she is, (also fixing how the episode undoes the three brothers’ arcs, but still insists they grew as people at the end)

          This represents 11 opening up to her and trusting her more

Asylum of the Daleks (retitled Asylum of the Cybermen)

         Roll Nightmare in Silver and Asylum into a 2-parter, because the best part of Nightmare is Mister Clever. Both episodes even have the same ‘someone’s about to destroy the planet’ ticking time bomb.

         The army fighting the Cybermen kidnap 11 to get him to destroy the Asylum with a bunch of expendable grunts they can afford to lose to a suicide mission.·         Clara meeting/interacting with another version of herself is really interesting, so we keep converted Oswin saving them·

         Changing it to Asylum of the Cybermen makes more sense thematically

        All those people, including Oswin, being converted – the Asylum’s security system is its conversion machinery – attackers become part of the security system. Instead of a nano-cloud, use the tiny upgraded Cybermats·

         It would also be scarier (a haunted hospital a la World Enough and Time- botched cybermen > insane Daleks) and would add an interesting layer to Cyberman lore instead of making the Daleks look weak. It can also use old models to explain the Cybermen’s multiple backstories, touched on in The Doctor Falls (”everywhere there’s people, there’s cybermen,” 12 says)·

         The ‘subtracting love’ thing makes more sense with cybermen too – instead of Amy and Rory, focus on Clara holding onto her connection with 11 – emphasising their genuine, emotion-based bond over ‘flirty quirky plot device’·

         This renewed focus on the Cybermen is good because the last full-on Cyberman story was in Series 2 (in The Next Doctor they’re just kind of in the background), and Moffat is much better at writing the body-horror of the Cybermen than he is writing the Daleks.

Nightmare in Silver

·         11 deliberately lets himself be ‘infected’ by the asylum’s nanocloud and begins conversion in attempt to save the converted Oswin’s mind.

·         Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the origin of Handles, the Cyberman head from The Time of The Doctor: the remains of Oswin’s cyber-converted mind downloaded into a head.

·         11 uses Mr Clever to get information about her - i.e. that she just appeared one day as a fully-formed person without any family. This sets up the other Claras being time remnants. 

·         It also lets Mr Clever play more psychological games with 11 and Clara – Mr Clever reveals 11 is scared of Clara, putting more strain on Clara having to hold on to her emotional attatchments

·         The Cybermen are actively trying to get out. This way we dig into their primary drive – survival at all costs,

·         What happens when a Cyberman’s emotional inhibitor is broken, but they don’t die? Driven insane and desperate, and fiercely intelligent.

·         I like the idea of the Cybermen like the Xenomorph in Alien; blending in with thoier broken down, mechanical environment, plugging into it and using to separate and play games with the soldiers.

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship

·         Replace The Crimson Horror with a version of Dinosaurs on a Spaceship with the Paternoster Gang replacing Brian, the Ponds, Nefertiti and that hunter bloke

·         I just really need to see Vastra interacting with her culture OK? Seeing her be taken back to her childhood, opening up to Jenny about it. Her anger, realising what the villain Solomon has done to her people. Use this conflict to call back to and explain how she met the Doctor, how he stopped her slaughtering humans before.

·         Clara and 11 go to the Paternoster Gang for help investigating her other selves

·         Clara researches and finds her past selves, not only in Victorian London but also throughout the 60s and 70s, when she’s helping the past Doctors – finding this research is how the kids find out she’s a time traveller

·         This is how THE DOCTOR REALISES HE’S SEEN HER MANY TIMES BEFORE, setting up The Name of the Doctor’s out-of-nowhere, un-guessable resolution.

·         Dark!11 again. Matt saoid they would’ve explored a ‘meaneer’ version if he’d stayed on for series 8. Clara is the perfect way to bring that out as they lie and manipulate each other for their own ends.

DALEK CIVIL WAR STORY

·         Progenitor Daleks vs the regular Time War model. Display how the Progenitor Daleks are different - each of them having a different weapon/role etc. The crux of the story is that the Progenitor Daleks are better at fighting the Doctor and come close to killing him, but the other Daleks value their ‘purity’ and survival more

·         Maximum Dark!11

The Name of the Doctor

·         When 11 rescues Clara she is changed – she retains bits and pieces of her time remnants’ experiences, it’s at once traumatising and exhilarating

The Time of the Doctor

·         Whereas The End of Time felt stretched-out (135 minutes) this felt really rushed. Make it 2 parts.

·         We see the set-up of Trenzalore and the Church of Silence in the first.

·         The second part is the long siege of Trenzalore – we need to see 11 age fighting these monsters, taking his turn being left behind, the tragedy of him slowly losing his memory, focusing on his character

·         We can also flesh out the citizens of Trenzalore and Christmas so their safety is important to us

·         Let’s see Madame Kovarian and her splinter cell break off from the main Church of Silence and leave to try and kill the Doctor – make her a supporting character

·         Then have Trisha Lem explicitly talk to the Doctor about how Kovarian blowing up the TARDIS caused the cracks in the universe in the first place, allowing the Time Lords to get their message out. Instead of a montage, have this be the moment that unites the Doctor and the Silence – they are both fighting to make up for their mistakes and the problems they caused

·         We see the many races surrounding Trenzalore form the alliance from The Pandorica Opens

[citrinediamondeyes]

A Beautiful Mess: Chapter One (My Hero Academia)

Here is my chapter story I’ve been working on! Hope you enjoy! 

Summary: Izuku Midoriya finds himself in detention, of all places. There, he meets an interesting girl with a cute smile and a tough exterior. She offers to teach him how to fend for himself, and with her help, he starts to realize that maybe he isn't useless after all... [Quirkless AU]

Rating: M 

TW: Depression, Anxiety, Mentioned/Implied Self-Harm, Mentioned/Implied Childhood Abuse, Severe Bullying, Childhood Trauma, Scars 

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Bakugo Katsuki, Uraraka Ochaco, Iida Tenya, Todoroki Shouto, Asui Tsuyu, Yagi Toshinori/All Might, etc. 

Pairings: Izuocha (slow burn)

Links:  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13594271/1/A-Beautiful-Mess https://archiveofourown.org/works/24204889

"Just in time, Midoriya," Mr. Aizawa droned, looking up from his roll call list.

Izuku, his face beet red as everyone's eyes rested on him, plunked down in the seat closest to him. Imagine being late for detention. He was already enough of a failure as it was...

"Bakugo, Katsuki."

Izuku heard a growl from the back of the room, and shivers went up his spine.

"I'll take that as a 'here'. Midoriya, Izuku."

"Here," Izuku whispered.

"Uraraka, Ochaco."

"Here."

Oh. There was a girl sitting next to Izuku! Or, well, Izuku sat next to her. Izuku peeked out from under his curly green-black hair, and he only caught a glimpse of auburn hair before his attention was brought back to the front.

"Now, I don't really care what you do for an hour. Just don't leave the room and don't disturb me."

Izuku and the rest of the students looked on in curiosity as Mr. Aizawa brought out a sleep mask and tipped his chair back, planting his crossed ankles on the desk.

Izuku blinked for a solid five seconds, trying to make sense of what he was seeing, before giving up and grabbing his homework out of his bag. Might as well get started on this mountain of homework...

He tried to focus on his Calculus - he really did, but he could feel Kacchan's eyes on him from the back of the room. To calm down, he started doodling on the side of his assignment, stark black lines against his messy scrawl. He directed his thoughts to making the lines smooth and the strokes confident, even though he himself was not. Still though, his hands were trembling, and his pencil slipped in his sweaty grip. It rolled onto the floor next to the girl's foot, and he paused for a moment, fear making his mind irrational and paralyzed. The girl - whose name was Ochaco, Izuku remembered distantly - swooped down and picked up the pencil casually, leaning over to give it to him.

"Oooh, is that All Might?" she asked in a hushed voice. Izuku flinched before nodding as his left hand went to the back of his neck nervously. He glanced at Ochaco quickly, taking her in. Her caramel brown eyes were wide with interest and framed with dark lashes, and her thin lips were pulled into a small but genuine smile. She had rosy cheeks that didn't look like makeup, and her choppy bangs suggested a self-done job. She had a small silver hoop through the left side of her nose and metal piercings going up her right ear that glinted in the sunlight from the far windows. Her leather jacket was worn through at the elbows, cuffs, and collar, and her fishnet-and-combat-boot combo made Izuku mentally flush.

Oh no. She's cute. And kind of... intimidating?

His eyes trailed down to the hand that was still offering his pencil. Her hands were small and delicate-looking, with small silvery scars running across the top. Her fingertips were scarred pink.

Izuku gulped quietly and looked back at Ochaco's face, hoping she didn't notice him blatantly staring at her. She was looking at him, too, an unrecognizable look on her face, (Did she notice the scars on his arm? She had to have noticed his bruised eye...) but it didn't make Izuku feel threatened or self-conscious like it normally would have. Instead, he felt a strange kinship to this girl with the scarred hands. He slowly reached out and tugged his pencil out of her grip, giving her a small smile.

"T-thanks."

She blinked dazedly before smiling brightly, her eyes resting on his. Izuku's stomach swooped - that grin was directed at him?

"No problem. But yeah, that drawing is really good! So you're an artist?"

"Oh, I mean, I wouldn't say that," he chuckled nervously. He remembered that she recognized his drawing, though, and latched onto that. "Y-you know who All Might is?"

"Yeah, my friends and I play his video games! They're really fun - especially the one where he goes into space?" Her eyes lit up, and Izuku found himself smiling along with her, feeling more comfortable by the second.

"Yeah, that one has great graphics. I love his teammates' powers, too! Thirteen's Black Hole is so powerful!" Izuku exclaimed, tapping his eraser on the desk mindlessly.

"Oh my gosh, Thirteen is my favorite!" she declared, still keeping her voice low while pressing her hands to her chest passionately. "I just know she would beat even All Might in a fight."

"No way," Izuku snickered quietly. "That's why he is called All Might. He is 'all mighty'."

He had no idea where this bravery was coming from to tease this enigma of a girl, but seeing the competitive spark in her eyes was worth it.

"All he does is punch stuff and tackle things with brute force. Thirteen, while a more defensive hero, takes more strategy to play. Her intelligence would beat out his brawn any day. And besides, ya can't out-punch somethin' that is pullin' ya inwards!" Ochaco finished excitedly, her tongue sticking out.

Oh gods, did an accent come out during that last bit? So cute.

Izuku's face took on a look of determination - sure, this girl might be attractive, but he had to defend his favorite hero All Might!

"See, now that's where you're wrong. All Might doesn't just 'punch stuff', he can use his moves to cause the air to move around him. This can be done in precise kicks or powerful punches. When playing him, you have to use his power in different percentages to make sure not to harm any bystanders and cause the least amount of damage to the environment. He is always calculating. Also, if you noticed, every time he goes into battle, he says his catchphrase, 'I am here!' He recognizes how important it is to be a symbol of hope for the people. I recognize this is a game and not reality, but this was done on purpose. All Might knows what he is doing. I think - "

Ochaco cut him off with laughter, and Izuku froze, feeling shame wash over him. Ah, he did it again. He got weird and did a mutter-storm.  She probably thought he was a total loser. He felt his head droop, and he whispered out, "S-sorry."

Her giggles abruptly stopped, and he felt her eyes on him for a second before she leaned closer over the aisle and spoke in a low, soothing voice. "Hey, no, I'm the one who's sorry. I was just laughing because you really know your stuff, and you were talking so fast, and it just really surprised me!" She smiled sadly and looked like she was about to touch his arm but instead fiddled with her long side bangs. "It wasn't my intention to make you feel bad for liking something."

She was apologizing to him, the massive screw-up?

Embarrassingly, Izuku felt his eyes swell with tears, and he turned away, wiping them back quickly. He swiveled back to face her and gave her a wobbly smile. "T-thanks," he said gratefully, his voice quiet.

She smiled again, this time a soft one, before turning back to his math homework. "Hah, isn't this for Mr. Ecto's class?"

"Y-yeah. Probably will need to redo it now."

"I always have the worst time in that class," she grumbled, her lips going into a slight pout, and Izuku felt his cheeks getting pink.

"What's wrong? Maybe I could... help?" Izuku asked, wincing at the end. He didn't want to sound presumptuous, but math was his best subject...

She lit up again. "Really? That'd be great. I'd been going to Momo for help, but she's been nagging me lately. Something about her not wanting to condone me 'breaking rules'. She's a good pal, but it's been annoying to say the least," Ochaco blew some hair out of her face while giving Izuku a silly smile.

"B-breaking rules?" Izuku asked curiously, before realizing that might've been rude and going red.

"Yeah. I mean, how'd ya think I ended up here?" Ochaco giggled, pulling out her math homework and laying it out on her desk. She scooted her desk closer to him and pointed with her own mechanical pencil at a few circled problems.

"These are the ones that are just killing me."

"Okay, let's see what we can do," Izuku cracked his knuckles, feeling more in his element, and leaned over to start reading the problems.

The hour passed by quickly, with Izuku and Ochaco muttering and quietly discussing Calculus. As Mr. Aizawa's phone alarm went off, the two were packing away their books and discussing the current All Might and Nighteye comics.

"To be honest, I think Nighteye is going to confess his love for All Might," Ochaco confided, making Izuku choke on a laugh.

"E-EHH?"

Before Ochaco could respond, Mr. Aizawa stood up and threaded a hand through his long, dark hair, yawning. "Alright kids, good job at keeping it down and civil. Some of you, I'll see tomorrow, like usual." He looked pointedly at Ochaco, and she smirked, waving her scarred fingers.

Geez, what did she do to get so much detention?

Izuku was so focused on this exchange that he didn't notice someone coming up behind him until it was too late.

"You're in my way, nerd," Katsuki growled, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Ah, sorry, Kacchan," Izuku whimpered, losing all confidence and shrinking into himself as he practically scuttled out of the way of the blonde boy. He felt Ochaco's gaze on him and felt ashamed, but, well, it was better for her to see him for who he truly was before he got too attached, anyways.

"Why not just go around him?"

Izuku's eyes widened, and he glanced at Ochaco in horror.

"You got something to say?" Katsuki turned his attention to the girl, who was staring at him like he was something she stepped in with her boot.

"You heard me. There are plenty of other ways to get to the door. You actually had to go out of your way to go up the aisle to pass by his desk," Ochaco explained, all previous warmth in her voice gone.

Katsuki's left eye twitched for a second, before he rushed over to her and stood in her space, looming over her. She met his gaze fearlessly.

"I'd be careful what I'd say, Round Face."

"Oh no, I'm so scared of a stereotypical guy with anger issues," Ochaco droned, her brown gaze almost looking bored. As Katsuki seethed, she scoffed. "See, you aren't going to do anything." She looked at Izuku, her eyes softening slightly. "Let's go."

Startled that she wanted to go anywhere with him and eager to get out of the tension, he hurriedly grabbed his backpack and scrambled to get out the door.

"Wait, just a minute, Deku," Katsuki grabbed at Izuku's shoulder, his grip making Izuku wince.

"You might be able to hide behind Uraraka right now, but just know there's nothing you can do to stop me from kicking your ass the next time you are alone," Katsuki threatened, his voice low and truly angry.

"Alright, that's enough. Geez, kids these days are so dramatic," Mr. Aizawa said tiredly, pinching the area between his eyes. "Just go home, all of you, and for god's sake just leave each other alone."

Izuku wanted to scream out that it wasn't just dramatics, but pure fear kept his mouth shut as he robotically walked to the door. Katsuki grinned and ran a finger across his throat before walking in the opposite direction down the hallway. Ochaco grabbed his arm and tugged him down the hallway, releasing him after a moment. They walked in silence for a few seconds, reaching the outdoors before she cleared her throat.

"So, uh... that guy has some issues," she noted, kicking a pebble in the walkway.

Izuku could only shrug, his ears burning. At her questioning look, he looked away before explaining, "Kacchan is... complicated."

"Hah, that's a word for it..." she muttered. They let silence fill the space between them again.

"So, your name is Deku?"

"E-eh? N-no." Izuku looked at his feet, surprised he could feel even more shame than he was already feeling. "Deku is what Kacchan calls me to make fun of me. 'Defenseless Izuku.'"

"Oh," Ochaco said, and she almost sounded disappointed. "It just sounded like a nice name for you. Kind of like 'I can do it!', ya know?"

"O-oh." His face flushed pink. "D-Deku it is!"

"I can do it", huh?

"D'ya think he was really serious about beating ya up?" Ochaco's voice was light, but her face was serious.

Izuku laughed bitterly. "How do you think I got this?" He gestured at the shiner surrounding his left eye. "That's why I was in detention, after all."

Ochaco nodded grimly, saying nothing. Izuku wondered vaguely how long she was going to walk with him.

"Tell ya what. Let's make a deal. You help me with my math, and I'll teach ya how to fight!" Ochaco's hands where balled into fists, and her eyes were bright.

At this, Izuku looked up at her in shock. "EH?"

"Yeah! Come on. Notice how Katsuki didn't want to mess with me? It's because he knows I can hold my own. I'll teach you how to defend yourself, although it might not be street legal," she teased, "and you can teach me the difference between differentials and integrals!"

Izuku stared at her wordlessly. This tiny girl, who admittedly dressed like a punk rocker but was as bubbly and friendly as the day was long, knew how to fight - and in ways that weren't street legal???

She nudged him playfully with her black bookbag. The various pins on it jingled and clicked against each other. "So, whaddya say?"

He stopped walking to actually ponder her proposition. When he was honest with himself, he recognized that he couldn't live like this anymore. Dodging Katsuki day in and day out, being scared of even breathing the wrong way, lying to his mother and friends about being okay, hiding his scars underneath sweltering hoodies - it was exhausting. He didn't even know who he was anymore, besides a timid artist with a slight All Might video game obsession.

He wanted more. He now realized he might have that opportunity, or a chance at one, thanks to Ochaco's offer.

He looked up and met her slightly nervous gaze with a determined grin. "Let's do it."

[battlersexual]

Board Game Showcase #3: Sentinels of the Multiverse

Introduction:

I mentioned in my introduction post for this series that my love of board games only really blossomed when I joined my college’s board game club. This game in particular was actually one of the major reasons why.

Sentinels of the Multiverse is a game about superheroes, but it’s not like any of the multitude of superhero-based board games on the market. Most of those just license actual Marvel or DC superheroes and put them on some other game, like Monopoly or a generic deckbuilder skeleton. Sentinels is something very different: It’s a totally original superhero game, (admittedly very much based on the Marvel-DC characters in a lot of ways) and it’s incredibly fun. Let’s talk about it!

Story:

I’m going to give you the broad strokes here, because trying to tell you the full story of Sentinels would be kind of like trying to summarize the plot of Magic: The Gathering in a single text post. Even with that, this will probably be the longest story segment I write.

In an alternate universe, instead of the Marvel and DC we’re familiar with, the comics publisher that came out on top was Sentinel Comics. Within the world of Sentinel Comics, the stories followed a similar trajectory to ours: the Golden Age where superheroes fought ordinary criminals and nazis, the Silver age with its wacky space shenanigans and superscience nonsense, the more restrained Bronze age where comics started to tackle more serious issues, a brief Dark age where everything was gritty and EXTREEEEEME, and the Modern age, where writers tried to take the best of everything that came before and just tell good stories (perhaps with mixed results, but I’m not a comic critic, so I’ll leave it at that.) The actual card game can best be described as a licensed game set in the Modern age of Sentinel Comics, which just so happens to have fallen through a time portal to our universe.

Overall, the story follows the Freedom Five, an Avengers-esque superhero team working together against all manner of villains, from the moustache-twirling to the downright terrifying. The villains in the game are all structured like crisis crossovers, with a team of supers going up against them. Each expansion to the game introduced part of the ongoing struggle as the comics progressed, culminating in the OblivAeon crisis and the end of the multiverse as we know it.

Obviously there’s more to it, but I want to move on and talk about individual characters later.

Mechanics and more under the cut.

Mechanics:

Sentinels is, technically speaking, a card game instead of a board game. That said, it still falls into the nebulous category of “Tabletop game” and most board game fans consider them board games anyway.

The game is technically 3-5 players, but can easily support 1 and 2 player games by having each player control multiple characters. Each player will pick a hero from the box, along with their deck. For example...

(Legacy is in some ways the most basic hero, so I’ll be using him as an example often.)

Each hero has a character card that gives them an HP value and a base power (In this case, Galvanize). This means the hero always has something they can do no matter which cards they get. Each hero has a unique deck of cards that focuses on their particular niche, Legacy’s being buffing the team and tanking damage.

Heroes generally work on their own, but often excel by teaming up with other heroes and complementing their own powers. Each turn, a player does three things: Play, Power, Draw, in that order. Play a card from their hand, use a power (either their innate power or one listed on an ongoing card) and draw a card. You can skip both play and power to draw two cards instead. If a hero is reduced to 0 HP, they’re not out of the fight yet: the flip side of their card has “Incapacitated abilities” that help the other team members.

(I couldn’t find a good image of Legacy’s incap side, this is from one of the other characters, Fanatic).

Sentinels is a cooperative game: the heroes work together to defeat a villain.

Each villain has their own deck, which acts as a rudimentary AI. Before the heroes get their turn, they flip over the top card of the villain deck and do whatever the card says. Villain cards are often extremely powerful, and can seriously screw over the heroes’ efforts.

In addition to heroes and villains, each game of Sentinels has an Environment. This is a third type of deck that works similarly to the villain deck, but tends to be neutral: I.E. it helps or hurts both the heroes and the villain. The environments range from the city of Megalopolis to the far-off planet Dok’Thorath to the town of Silver Gulch in the year 1883 to a far-future post-apocalyptic earth, each with unique mechanics. The turn order goes villain, heroes, environment before repeating until either the villain or all the heroes are defeated.

Flavor:

An AMAZING amount. You might have noticed that Legacy’s cards have quotes on the bottom referencing a comic he was in. Every card in the game has this, and it’s a joy to piece it all together and figure out what happened in the extensive storyline of Sentinel Comics. The game itself also presents an exciting puzzle where you try to figure out how to get past the villain’s defenses before they kill you. Each hero feels unique and interesting, and once you find your favorite, you’re all set. (Mine is Chrono-Ranger, the time-traveling cowboy).

I do have another particular favorite in terms of flavor, but I... don’t want to mention him. (Too late.) He might show up, and that’s not going to be good for anyone (Hey!) so let’s just move on.

Expansions:

The base game includes ten heroes, four villains, and four environments. This is a pretty good number, but honestly a lot of the most fun heroes arrived in the expansions. I find every new deck to be fun and interesting, so I can blanket-recommend all the expansions, but there’s a lot of them, both big boxes and mini-expansions consisting of a single deck (Like me!), so I’m not going to talk about them individually like before (WHAT?), so let’s just move on to-

No no no no NO! What kind of cop-out is that? You’re just going to tell people that expansions exist and then not explain anything? You make me SICK.

Oh no.

Oh YEAH! That’s right, I’m here to take over this showcase, so why don’t you just sit down in that corner and watch a REAL pro do his job?

Get off my post, Guise.

Not gonna happen! Take this! And this! And some a THESE!

...There we go. Hello, reader! Yep, I’m talking to you, the one reading this now. My name’s Guise, and I’m the best hero in the whole game!

Ha, I love that picture. ANYWAY, since that idiot couldn’t be bothered to cover the expansions properly, I’ll be doing that for him, just for all of you! Aren’t I the greatest? Well, let’s hop to it!

Ahhh, good old Rook City. Nice place, if you like giant mutant rats and government corruption. Which I do, because that stuff is totally X-TREEEEEEEEME!!!

Rook City was originally its own expansion, but the developers released a box that combined it with the next expansion, Infernal Relics! What nice people. Rook City includes two heroes who are almost as X-TREEEEEEEEME!!! as me, as well as two environments and four, count ‘em, FOUR dastardly villains!

Infernal Relics has plenty of spooooooky magic at play, and features another four villains, two environments, and two heroes, one of which is my good friend the Argent Adept! Here, look at this picture of us!

Ha ha, good times.

They did it again! Shattered Timelines and Wrath of the Cosmos, all in one box. How can you turn that down? If you like time travel and space adventures, these are gonna be your jam, with a total of four heroes, eight villains, and four environments, two of which are IN SPACE! Everything’s better in SPACE! Here’s a picture of me, IIIIIIINNNNNNNN SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

Oh, and the Shattered Timelines expansion is where that cowboy that the dumb nerd who started this post likes comes from. You know, if you cared. Which you don’t, because you’re cool! Like me! I can tell.

Vengeance added five new heroes, and introduced the TOTALLY AWESOME team villain variant, where instead of fighting one strong villain, you fight a team of weaker villains! This one can get pretty crazy. The set includes the VENGEFUL FIVE, who you can see on the box, and their decks come with all sorts of bit villains and lackeys to torment the heroes! I took a picture with my nemesis, Argentium!

Whooo, that was one tough customer! Luckily, I got him to chill out. Get it? Chill out? Because I froze him, ha ha! I’m hilarious. And awesome!

And then they did more team villains! Villains of the Multiverse has ten new villains for the team mode, four environments, and NO HEROES AT ALL! Well, lucky thing you can still use the ones from the other expansions, hey? I took a picture with a villain to commemorate this one too, but I can’t seem to find it...

Oh, there it is!

And the last major expansion is... OblivAeon! (Dun dun DUUUUUUUUN!) This one adds five heroes (formerly villains! Oooh, exciting!), five environments, and OBLIVAEON himself, with a new game mode centered around fighting him! Not to mention, you get to see ME take center stage as the big hero that saves the multiverse!

(Uh, not really, it was mostly Luminary who-)

Hey, quiet! Don’t go badmouthing me in front of my adoring fans!

Anyway, I’d love to show you my cool new form in this expansion, but that might be a liiiiitle spoiler-y, so I’ll just say I look like THIS, but WAY sexier!

Well, those are all the big expansions, but we’re not done yet! There’s a bunch of mini-expansions, little individual decks you can buy to add one hero, villain, or environment to the game. I’d cover them all, but there’s really only one you need...

That’s right, ME! Hell, you don’t even need the other big expansions when I’m so much better! Not only do you get my awesome character card, you get all the cards I’ve shown you from my deck, as well as the best card ever! No, really, that’s what it’s called!

I mean, come on! You don’t even need the base game! Just buy me, and you’ll have the best part of Sentinels of the Multiverse, all for the low low price of- hey, get off me! Ow! Stop that! HEY!

All right, that’s ENOUGH. Get OUT of my house.

...Whew, he’s finally gone. All right, let’s get on with things.

Replayability:

Sentinels is pretty darn replayable. You’re almost never going to get the same experience, even if you pick the exact same heroes, environment, and villain. If you have all the expansions, you not only get over 60 heroes and 45 villains, but you can get Variants, which replace all the hero cards (and some villains!) with new versions of the characters that have different powers. I’ve never played a game of Sentinels and felt like I’d seen it before. In addition, you can play it alone, so if you can’t have friends over regularly it’s still a good purchase.

Criticisms:

It runs into a similar problem to Cosmic Encounter where the game is SO spread out over so many expansions that the full experience ends up being an expensive and space-consuming prospect. It’s also a very fiddly game, with tons of counters and cards, so it can be a chore to play some of the more complicated characters. Both of these problems have solutions, however.

Availability:

Sentinels is still being sold, as far as I’m aware. It’s also totally available as a mod on Tabletop Sim, although this doesn’t fix the problem with fiddly counters and running out of space for cards, and in fact makes it worse. But there’s another option.

Sentinels of the Multiverse: The Video Game is an official online version of the card game. It includes every expansion as dlc, heavily marked down from its price as a physical item, and takes care of all the tedious bookkeeping for you. It also lets you earn the variant cards by doing challenges in-game, which is super fun, although you don’t HAVE to to unlock them that way. There are weekly challenge games that pit a certain team against a specific villain and environment, which often act as a cool little puzzle, (and you get to hear my amazing voice!) Shut up, Guise. I very occasionally stream games of SotM on my twitch channel, so if there’s enough interest I can show off more of the game. In general, I recommend the video game even if you already own the board game: it’s really well-done and fun to play.

Creators:

This is kind of a special segment. I normally don’t talk about the creators of these games, because they’re usually irrelevant to the final product. However, artist Adam Rebottaro and writer Christopher Badell are incredibly active in the community around their own game, and they have a podcast where they talk about the lore of the game and answer viewer questions about the characters and universe.

It’s a ton of fun, they’re really engaging and you can feel their creativity and love for comics radiating from their voices whenever they talk. They’re super funny, too.

(And if you want more of ME- ah, what am I saying, of course you do! - you can tune in to this episode right here, where I make a special guest appearance to talk about myself!)

Get OUT, Guise!

Ugh, what a pain. Anyway...

Conclusion:

I know superhero stuff is kind of over-saturated right now, but even if you’re sick of superheroes - give Sentinels a try. It’s a celebration of comics more than superheroes in particular, and despite taking a lot of cues from existing superheroes, everything about Sentinels is fresh and fun. It’s one of my favorite co-op games ever, and its story is so well-told that I genuinely feel like I need to go read the comics, which I remind you don’t exist. Sentinels of the Multiverse is brilliant and just plain FUN.

Seriously, go play it, and make sure to use all my cards!

Didn’t I tell you to get out of my house?

[hillbillyhippiemusicreview]

POST #24- J’s Year in Review 2019

Jesus Christ it’s 36 degrees and dark at 5:30. The most depressing time of year for me. I owe my friends a few reviews and keep putting them off. I’ll do them tomorrow. Hell, maybe when I have time over the weekend I’ll get that one out I promised a few weeks ago. Here I am, sitting on the couch trying to figure out which record I want to highlight next. It’s a daunting task. A lesson I’ve learned over the past year. I need to get those reviews out but my mind (and ears) get the best of me. What do I do instead? I listen to a couple of records and skip right to the end. What I mean by end is that cliche year in review article that all music journalists put out with their favorite artists, songs, records, and shows of the year. This is all new to me. Shortly after the new year I decided it was time for me to get in the game. I don’t have much to offer but I wanted to put my perspective on paper. My first article was a piece about Tyler Childers raising awareness and getting a large donation of bottled water for the citizens of Martin County, Kentucky. I knew about Martin County. I didn’t know how deep it went. It wasn’t the meet and greet and small solo set that made me want to write about my experience. It was Tyler’s words. It was the raw emotion and the choked up words that inspired me to be a writer. I wanted as many people to know about this event as I could possibly get the word to. Be it 5, 10, 20 or even 30 people that read the article and learned about the plight of the citizens of Martin County have been in for years. That maybe 5, 10, 20 or even 30 people that may learn how to contact their representative and ask questions. I hope it inspires people to learn about their community and lend a helping hand to those in need. That event was last year, but it inspired my path this year.

Let me begin by saying that I have met some of the most amazing people over the past 12 months. I will touch on as many of those people as much as I can. I am going to highlight the music that has moved me over the same amount of time. I’m gonna forget people. I’m sorry in advance. I could put a list of my top 10 albums out but that just wouldn’t be fair. To be honest, there is one album that stands head and shoulders above all others. It’s not even a competition. How do you compete with amazing art? I look at it like its a steady stream of good shit coming out and keeping my playlist full.

Album of the Year (Any Genre)

Sound and Fury - Sturgill Simpson

Why?

It’s f*cking amazing. Earth shattering. Ground breaking. LOUD!

Sturgill Simpson took everything you thought you knew about him and his music, threw it out the window of his muscle car, and backed over it about a hundred times. This man does not give a shit. I screwed up on my first listen. There are two ways this album should be heard. 1) On a turntable with the volume turned as loud as it can possibly go. 2) Watching the accompanying anime movie with the volume turned as loud as it can possibly go. Unfortunately I did neither. Most of my first listen was a track at a time on my phone or in my truck. Dead. Wrong. If I had it to do over again I would most definitely start with the anime.

I get it. Anime is not for everyone. If I could give someone a starting point with anime, it would most definitely be Sound and Fury. This album is The Wall of our generation. After my first listen I posted, “Album of the Year Any Genre”. I fully stand by that assessment.

Favorite Albums of the Year

This is where I will most definitely make someone mad or make myself mad for leaving off someone who deserves to be included.

Home - Billy Strings

Favorite Tracks: Away From The Mire and Watch It Fall

Country Squire - Tyler Childers

Favorite Tracks - Creeker and Peace of Mind

Stranger In The Alps - Buffalo Wabs and the Price Hill Hustle

Favorite Tracks: Buffalo’s Canon and Stewball

Between The Country - Ian Noe

Favorite Tracks: Barbara’s Song and Methhead

Seneca - Charles Wesley Godwin

Favorite Tracks: Hardwood Floors and Seneca Creek

Chris Knight - Almost Daylight

Favorite Tracks: I’m William Callahan and Go On

The Wind - Eric Bolander

Favorite Tracks: Closer to that Flame and Ghost

Josh Nolan - Kind Heart to Follow

Favorite Tracks: Makin’ Eyes and The Honeysuckle

Nicholas Jamerson - Floyd County All Star

Favorite Tracks: Patience and Floyd County All Star

High Expectations - Sean Whiting

Favorite Tracks: Melody and Misery

Songs Only A Mother Could Love - Wayne Graham

Favorite Tracks: By and By and Every Evil Thing

On The Hilltop - Nic Allen and the Troubled Minds

Favorite Tracks: Cheap Pills and Wine and For Heaven’s Sake

Cheap Silver and Solid Country Gold - Mike and the Moonpies

Favorite Tracks: Cheap Silver and Danger

The Gospel - The Local Honeys

Favorite Tracks: Amazing Grace and Let the Church Roll On

Full Moon/Heavy Light - Ona

Favorite Tracks: Young Forever and True Emotion

Trial and Error - Vintage Pistol

Favorite Tracks: Lay It Down and Leave Me Behind

The Pilot Light - Derek Spencer

Favorite Tracks: The Witches of Appalachia and Lit By Moonlight

We Fall, We Break - Walter DeBarr

Favorite Tracks - Wicked Eyes and We Fall, We Break

Alive at Hillbilly Central - Arthur Hancock

Favorite Tracks - Take Me Back To The Country and Kenton’s Outdoor Seating Area

Cuz I Love You - Lizzo

Favorite Tracks: Truth Hurts and Juice

I have to give a shoutout to some amazing visual artists for their work on some of these records. Jimbo Valentine and Colonel Tony Moore did an absolutely amazing job on the Country Squire album art. With Valentine’s futuristic hillbilly aura and Moore’s gritty comic book background, their collaboration is my favorite album artwork in some time. Honorable mention goes to Nashville Tattoo Artist, Squishy Eyes. His work for Billy Strings’ home is colorful and visually stimulating. I definitely want some skin art done by this guy!

Next. Let’s talk festivals. Jon Grace burst onto the scene this year putting on not one but two music festivals. Jon and I go way back. We’ve been to country shows, rock shows, heavy metal shows, nu metal shows, Ozzfest. You name it and we were probably in the vicinity. Laurel Cove Music Festival was Bell County’s first foray into the music festival scene and it started with a flash of lightning, then another, then a shit load of rain. An outdoor music festival being held at a beautiful natural amphitheater turned in to an indoor show in the conference room at Pine Mountain State Park. It was a tough decision to make, but in the end, it was worth every minute. The lineup came together in short order and provided us with two days of blistering sets. Jon then put together the FREE Cumberland Mountain Fall Festival in downtown Middlesboro, KY. Featuring local and regional talent for another two days of fun and music. 2019 set the bar high for live music in Bell County.

Festival of the Red is located in the heart of the Red River Gorge area and put on three days of camping and music. The only downside was that I was only there on Saturday. My buddies Blake and Dave packed in the truck with Dave’s little boy Waylon to make the two hour trip to Slade to catch up with old friends and new.

Master Musician Festival is a yearly mainstay in Somerset, KY. Tiffany Finley and company put together a stellar lineup year after year. My wife and I went for the day on Saturday and returned home with memories that we still laugh about months later. I first want to give a shoutout to the staff of MMF for enduring a brutal storm and having the integrity to cancel the headlining act in the face of severe storms. We were devastated that we missed out on a Jason Isbell set, but we are also blessed that we were not injured in a stupid storm. The party rolled on to Jarfly and into the wee hours of the morning.

This brings me to the granddaddy of them all.

Kickin’ It On The Creek.

The Roberts do it up right on Ross’ Creek. The 5th Annual Kickin’ It On The Creek held on Byron Roberts’ farm is something every music fan should experience once in their life. I went to Irvine in June to attempt to buy tickets in person. I left the house Saturday morning around 4:30. My anxiety hit when I got into town and parked and saw the line stretched nearly a half mile down the road. What do you do though? You hop in line! My friends Jon and Daniel arrived about an hour and a half ahead of me and were about 15 people in front of me. Throughout the morning we made conversation with both veterans and newbies alike. The vibe was jubilant. It was almost like a family reunion atmosphere, and this was just the presale. Long story short, about 3 hours later we get to the front of the line when Byron exits the store to announce the tickets were sold out. My friends who were 15 people in front of me were the last group in. It made me ill to realize I was that close. Never fret, the next step was an online sale that supposedly sells out in seconds. Over the next few weeks, karma would smile on us as we were able to purchase enough tickets so everyone in our group of friends were able to procure tickets. Now the wait.

I’m not a festival virgin by no means. I was fortunate enough to go to three Bonnaroo festivals in the early 00’s. Needless to say, I had an idea of the festival life. However, I can’t begin to explain the giddiness that my wife and I felt driving to the festival that Thursday evening in late September. We made it just in time to set up camp and catch Bedford Band and one of the acts I most looked forward to, Buffalo Wabs and the Price Hill Hustle. The family atmosphere was in full effect. We were home. On Friday we were treated to sets by a variety of artists handpicked by the Roberts family. Favorites included Luna and the Mountain Jets, Crownover, Laid Back Country Picker, Green Genes, Jericho Woods, Vintage Pistol, Magnolia Boulevard, John R Miller and the Engine Lights, Town Mountain, and the ‘Lectric Wooks. Saturday favorites included Abe Partridge, Padre Paul Handleman, Wayne Graham, William Matheny, Senora May, Ona, The Wooks, Arlo McKinley, and festival headliner Tyler Childers. I’m already thinking about KIOTC 2020.

This year was magical. I heard amazing music, saw amazing music, introduced my children to amazing music, and most importantly shared with with my wife. I met lifelong friends and have several shows to look forward to in 2020.

Upcoming shows I’ll be attending are The Wooks, Arlo McKinley, Eric Bolander, Charlie Woods and Deep Hollow, and Dave Shoemaker at the Bell Theater on December 21st. 2020 brings Morgan Wade/Kelsey Waldon, Town Mountain/Buffalo Wabs/Geno Seale, Billy Strings, and Sturgill Simpson/Tyler Childers. The festival circuit is also ramping up with dates set for Laurel Cove 2020.

-Josh Trosper

*This is an independent review. The Hillbilly Hippie Music Review was not compensated for this review.

*The opinions expressed are solely that of the author(s).

[solitaire-dreams]

Pokespe Gold, Silver and Bronze? An Arc Progression Analysis

Hey readers! I'm back and ready to attack a long post that had a long time coming. It is time for the part 2 of my prediction for the Gen 8 Pokespe dexholders/dexholder analysis. I would recommend reading my previous “What Type are you?” but there is a recap below for need-to-know info. Skip to the asterisks if you've already read (thanks).

Grass type dexholder = character who has self-intrinsic motivation despite life pushing them down and the path to their goal doesn't hurt many people.

Fire type dexholder = character who tramples over anything or anyone in the way of their goal.

Water type dexholder = character who hides important information from other characters and is secretive.

Gen 8 Male Character Counterpart = water type

Gen 8 Female Character Counterpart = fire type

Relationship (platonic) between the two = more emotionally charged and dramatic than other pairs.

***Today in our analysis, part 2 looks at exploring the progression of Pokespe against the evolution of...comic books of all things...and how the sets of holders mirror the ages of comic books.

DISCLAIMER: I am personally not a fan of comic books, despite my love for the superhero shonen of BNHA, and all this information is extrapolated from online research. Also this post was inspired by a post on the dexholders opinions of the pokedex which I can't refind for the life of me because I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE THIS FREAKING SEARCH BAR CORRECTLY. Credits to them for inspiration. Somewhere out there.

SPOILERS BEWARE.

So, let's start at the beginning with the main arcs for our first three dexholder trios (RGB, GSC, and RS; with Yellow and Emerald to a lesser extent). These arcs represent the Golden Age equivalent in Pokespe.

The Golden Age (from the late 1930's to the middle of the 1950's) is described as the introduction of archetypes for the genre, and heroes and villains were depicted as very white and black in order to provide moral for a society in wartime.

While the original arcs of the manga were marketed towards 10 year olds in the 1990s-2000s instead of 10 year olds in the time of WW2, there is many of the same patterns in how they present the stories.

The RGB arc is the most shonen-esque out of all of them, where Red simply plays the role of the standard protagonist you've seen countless times and an episodic formula for chapters. The rival of Blue also feels standard by this definition and the conflict with Team Rocket is pretty black and white. Giovanni is a mafia boss who kidnapped an entire town, genetically engineered multiple Pokemon through harsh experiments, was willing to murder kids; and all for “The Glory of Team Rocket.”

GSC gives you the exact kind of story you expect with a shonen target market and a hot-headed + headstrong main protagonist (a f*ckboy). The main villain of the Masked Man who kidnapped children also keeps him firmly on the evil side and our protagonists who oppose him firmly on the good one.

Then while RS may have been unexpected for most readers, considering a secretive male protagonist clashing with a headstrong female protagonist, a stronger character focus and development was to be expected. Plus, despite Ruby initially ignoring the fight against the region and Norman (who I still maintain is a sh*tty parent and should not have been forgiven for his treatment of Ruby that easily) both are still painted on the side of good. Ruby does the closest in giving a complex protagonist, but by the time he locks Sapphire in the aircar and teams up with Courtney, the reader can understand he's still on the side of good.

Mainly, the reason they never seem too morally grey in the first arc is that the in universe characters do not address their flaws as in depth as they should. Plus, the villains of Maxie and Archie are both shown be extremely corrupt and willing to endanger their own for the end means; providing a level of villainy to overshadow the grey tones of Norman and Ruby.

The arcs are all often grouped together when talking about Pokespe as well because the first three regions of dexholders are the only ones that have actually interacted with one another. And the post which I CAN'T find classified their stance on the Pokedex as they take their roles as protectors of the region seriously and accept the responsibility.

This translates well into the Golden Age characterization as this view of all the dexholders makes them appear more noble than most; magnifying the heroic traits of dexholders and heightening the contrast with the villainous teams.

Next up in the timeline was the Silver Age. The notable features of the Silver Age (mid 1950's to 1970) are hard to peg down, but they conclude important aspects are: targeting a wider audience including girls and adults, science fiction overcoming gods and magic in use in stories, and the pop art style started in this time period.

The Silver Age honestly doesn't have much to apply to Pokespe, but the Silver Age is a transitional era for comic books, as its boxed in by the much more influential ages of the Golden and Bronze ages. For Pokespe, its version of the Silver Age does seem to adjust its target audience to a wider audience of kid Pokemon fans (as there isn't too much “mature” content in Sinnoh or Unova arcs). However, its new hook lies in “the power of friendship”; also noted in that elusive post.

The DPP arcs centres around a trio that all become very close friends, with the Pokedexs canonically serving a role to demonstrate the bond all three of the characters have developed. Plus, Dia is a protagonist who completes believes in friendship for all as he listens to Cyrus is the Platinium arc, possibly giving him the chance to amend his wrongs.

BW may not have a trio of great dexholder friends, but the connection that develops between Black and White have a strong focus, and Black's friends of Cheren and Bianca also have a strong present in the story and exhibit the friendship that exist all between them. Meanwhile, the power of friendship cannot really apply to Team Plasma, but they definitely manifest the transition from “evil for the sake evil” to “complex motives that may not make them evil”. Despite N being the near definition of “morally grey” in Pokemon, the manga keeps him in a dark enough light that the reader can't fully think of him outside of evil—unlike the game.

Following up the Unova adventures in B2W2, this arc does a better job of emphasizing friendship. While Lack-two/Blake claims to lack any emotions, I'm not sure if it would hold up to a power of friendship punch in his emotionless face. Whi-two/Whitley also learns a lot about becoming friends as she gets closer and opens up to Blake—despite it being a ploy for information—still pushes the friendship theme. The evil is team is dealt with better as well, because Whitley has sympathy for N and the old values of Team Plasma, being a former member herself; and we see one of the older members aid Hugh in his search for Purloin. By having the new terrorist branch of Team Plasma cover the evil, it allows the members who follow the previous values to be painted in a redeemable light.

Finally, we arrive at the two most recent arcs of XY and SM/USUM. Or the Bronze Age equivalent of Pokespe.

The Bronze Age (1970-1985) of comics is the one people who are fans may know fairly well. Darker plots returned in full forces, tackling more serious topics such as poverty, pollution, and dangerous substances. Heroes were also more flawed and complex than they had ever been; and villains were dipped deeper into grey.

And if you've read the XY arc, these traits are probably ringing some alarm bells. The arc was extremely dark, expanding on the games in a way they never managed to achieve. The main theme of the arc is the apathy of society and how its flawed, self-serving natures screws over anyone unfortunate enough to be caught in its wake. This stance that Team Flare took against society had radical actions (tons of it), but the sucky behaviors demonstrated by Kalos citizens in the manga prove society is far from perfect. The story of Emma/Essentia is also compelling as you understand she is on the wrong side, but with some right reasons.

X is additionally one of the most flawed male player character protags by far; the best way to describe him being all the negative mental problems shoved into one 12-year old boy (which I mean in the most loving way possible). Y also has her repressed problems, and a standoff-ish/headstrong nature that puts her at odds with others; most notably with the huge fight with her mom.

Then, in the SM arc, despite the more lighthearted vibes that come from Alola; that does not undermine the Bronze age themes present throughout the arc. The manga does not shy away from manifesting the trauma Gladion and Lille have sustained from Lusamine going insane, Guzma smashes his head into a wall after losing a fight, and Lusamine's fusion with Nihelego horrifies our protagonists; as it probably should if you saw that for the first time. The manga seems to be going in the direction that Lusamine has lost all her marbles and can't be fully held responsible for her crazy actions. Plus, Sun's flaw of hyper-focusing on gaining all the yen he needs to buy back the island/hatred for the Aether Foundation; and Moon's flaw of a hero complex that causes her to help one problem, but abandon it for a new one when it comes up (on top of her cold attitude to people initially).

Their Pokedex stance was summed up in the post by: “WTF is this thing? I don't want it.” which fits pretty well with their overall stance on the region crisis. None of these four protagonists ever truly consented to saving the region. In Kalos, the reasons the protagonists fight back is that their town is destroyed and they are being assaulted by the evil team. And as for Alola, both Sun and Moon get sucked in slowly with smaller events until it's like: “Hey, you've bonded with the incarnations of the Sun and Moon. Guess you’re the last line of defence for Alola now!”

Thus, if the Ages have each of the three rotations sets in it, Gen 8 in the Galar region will also stick with the Bronze Age vibes. Though, that's to be elaborated on in a later post (so sorry).

Tl;dr The progression of arcs in Pokespe follow the same progression of comic books throughout the different ages. RGB-RS (also Emerald) are in the Golden Age, with standard archetypes and black and white divides between heroes and villains. The Silver Age doesn't tie in much to DDP-B2W2, but they are both transitional periods for villain characterization (evil, but with a chance for redemption) and have a new hook; this time in the form of friendship boosts. Last lies the Bronze Age for XY and SM arcs, known for darker plots, and complex and morally grey villains paired with complex and flawed protagonists.