#Should probably do that again at some point just to get myself into spriting

[cain-evil373]

Samael Volkov

Good day! I want to apologize very much for my sudden disappearance. I was not feeling very well morally, so I took a long rest for myself. And so, at the beginning of February, I returned to post for you again! Please do not be too offended by me. (⁠ ⁠･ั⁠﹏⁠･ั⁠)

But I won't waste time and get straight to the point! Today I want to tell you a little about Samael. About a character who could have had great potential, but became just a secondary character.

Even in the early conception of the game, Puke wanted to make an additional route for Samael in which we could meet him (or maybe do things more interestingly, most likely this is the case because I inserted a second sprite where his torso is naked). The route was supposed to go after completing Cain's ending "he abandoned you" (the information is not exact, but this is approximately how it should have been). Now if you complete this ending, Samael says that he will take us to a survey about Cain (most likely this fork was simply left so that the player could imagine the events for himself). By the way, I will add that Ash was supposed to be connected with Samael's route, but this idea was also abandoned.

In the end, we lost a lot of content that we will probably never see again. Samael could have played a huge role in the game (and his fans could have enjoyed some screen time with the character lol). Of course, Samael was given a second chance in Zeitgeist, but in the end, it was also a failure. The game will never be finished. In general, I would really like to see some screen time for him, since he is my favorite character after Cain. He is a really interesting person with his own secrets. And oh my god, he is just beautiful to look at... But we can only learn about small facts about him and nothing more... Let's all love our Samael?

_____________________________________________

[last-sprout]

Last Sprout Dev Diary - Jan 10, 2025

Hello, and welcome to the new year! After the break, I'm here for another dev diary - this one being a bit more about something conceptual. If you want to read the last dev diary from December, you can do so here.

If this is the first one you're reading, I'm @oneominousvalbatross, and I'm the tech side of the sprout team! This week I mostly worked on status effects, but I want to take some time to talk about a broader, more conceptual topic, and save the full breakdown for next week.

My poor boy, who has every disease.

Something I don't think I've really specified before in these dev diaries is my background in game dev, or, rather, my lack of background. I started seriously learning how to code a bit over a year ago, and entered my first game jam in February of 2024.

(The game was barely functional, but it did exist so like, there's something.)

My academic background is in philosophy (simultaneously the best and worst thing tbh), and apart from being pretty good with computers in a broad sense I didn't really have much to go on for this project. I'm bringing this up because I'm going to be talking about something that I had to figure out for myself, but that might be like, compsci 105 or something if you went through school for it. That said though, if you have always kind of wanted to make games, you can absolutely make games! I didn't think I was a math person, or a coding person, until I started doing it.

Game Development is Hard

I'm going to assume that software development in general is hard, but I haven't really done that, so I'm talking about game dev. I spent around two weeks not touching the game, and when I came back, the first thing I noticed was just how hard it was to get my head back around something with this many systems! This was also something I ran headlong into when working on that game jam, I reached a point in like, a week where I couldn't touch any system without potentially breaking every other system.

The solution I use, and the reason why I could come back to this without completely losing my mind, is to reduce the number of access points into a system to the absolute bare minimum. For example, we can look at the animation system. It's really complicated! It needs to be able to swap the sprites out on a variety of different renderers, it needs to be able to adjust animation speeds, control shader parameters, and it needs to be able to queue up multiple animations in sequence, plus it needs to send out events on animation end so that I can use them to time up other game actions.

If I was to condense all of this into a few sentences: A system can be as complicated as it needs to be, but try to envision it in its own little box, with precisely one entrance/exit. If you need to spawn a projectile, you should really just be able to go, like, SpawnProjectile(projectile), with as little external work as possible. This means if you need to completely rewrite how spawning projectiles works, you can do that, and all the other classes that spawn projectiles can still just do their thing.

A helpful diagram

The way I would've done this originally would have been to have, like, a SpriteAnimator class with a 'speed' field. I'd set it to one by default, and then whenever I need that speed to be different, I'd have whatever object needs to change the speed go in and set the speed to whatever. If you've done a lot of programming, you probably immediately realized the tons of problems this could cause - problems into which I ran headlong.

What do you do when you want one animation to play at a certain speed, then go back to the previous speed when it's done? If you do, do you assume that the speed was set to 1 before, and just reset it, or do you have one of the two objects involved store the previous speed to go back to it? If you do, what happens if, halfway through an animation, another object butts in to adjust the speed again? Say you're playing an animation at half speed, and then a speed buff gets applied that's supposed to last for a minute. Your speed buff goes in, sets the faster speed, the animation suddenly starts playing faster, then when the animation is finished, the object that was waiting to reset the speed goes back in and sets the speed to 1, leaving the animation playing at the default speed when it's supposed to be faster.

These kinds of problems will always be a risk, but in my specific case I split the speed at which an animation plays out into three places. First of all, an animation has a frame rate, which is meant to never change. We do most of our animating at 12 fps (on twos, I think is what you call it in the traditional animation world? idk, not a 2d animator), and each animation object keeps track of its frame delta (1 / frame rate) so that the controller can progress through the frames at the right speed.

However, we don't submit the animation to the controller in its unaltered form. Instead, we have a data structure called a PlayableAnimation. This contains the animation itself, but it also has the speed at which the animation should be played, as well as some other useful info that might change between two instances of the same animation. A controller maintains a stack of playable animations and can look at the individual speed of each one as it progresses through.

On top of that, there's a final speed modifier that can be submitted along with the playable animation, without changing its values. This way, if I want to play an animation at double speed for whatever reason, I don't necessarily have to set the value for the entire controller, I can just say this animation should be faster, and nothing else. Some animations have different frame rates, or are re-used with different speeds for different purposes, and I can do all that configuration without having to put all that weight on one field.

All of this sounds wildly complicated, and it kind of is, but importantly, if you're playing an animation from any other system, all you do is type in "Controller.PlayAnimation(animation)". You can also go like, "Controller.PlayAnimation(animation, speed: 1.5)" if you want it to play faster, but all of that stuff is handled completely without additional input. This is what lets me come back to the game and keep working on it when it's been months since I've touched a part of it.

Why This is Relevant Right Now

Status effects seem simple, but they kind of need to touch every other system at least a little bit, which is why I spent all that time talking about making systems. A status effect needs to be able to do things like apply damage, but it also needs to be able to play animations or sounds, and it doesn't always want to play those things on the source of the effect.

Some demos for the animations different status effects will use.

Plus, this is a roguelite, so we need to be able to add and modify status effect stuff within the upgrade system, which might mean modifying the magnitude of the effect, changing colors on animations, or tying other things into the effect when it goes off! As long as each of those systems has the cleanest possible entry/exit points, this is doable, but it's been a long battle making sure the game can keep moving forward and not get mired in constant bugfixing and complexity management.

I have a lot of cool game design thoughts on the effects themselves, but I think I'll leave that for a later week. As per usual, thanks for reading, feel free to send any questions or thoughts here or to @oneominousvalbatross, and I'll see you next week!

[kinokoshoujoart]

cora’s bad time hell simulation steps or how to play “sprite station for girl” “harvest moon ds cute” the wrong way

(all ways are wrong this game is Accursed)

ok so here’s what my disorganized “guide” to myself for harvest moon ds for girl (aka indecipherable notes i wrote to myself as i played and revised as i tested various things and restarted due to mistakes) looks like. at some point when i become a real gamer i will write a legible guide meant for eyes to look at but uhhh this is how i play this accursed game personally

i’m not sure if anything i wrote will make any sense since i wrote it as notes to myself so probably definitely use fogu and fc2 jonason wiki (may not work but some pages should be archived) instead

ALSO if you’ve never played or barely played the game it won’t make sense at all! hmds was my first harvest moon so i am used to various horrors!

my play style is probably not fun in general HOWEVER if you are a grinding hell goblin like me then it’s GREAT!!!! if not you may still find it amusing that the game gives you permission to play like this

(it’s a great background task game while doing like productive stuff but otherwise playing this way would probably be unbearable)

(image limit)

anyway after that the days go a lot faster, you’ll get the island on summer 1, so on spring 30 i put all my money into million G tickets and sell 200 of em, do the 5x money thing, and save the rest. so when thomas comes the next day to sell you the 900 million G island you can just sell 180 tickets and do the 5x money thing again with like ~600 million G tickets left over. it takes up inventory but you’ll get the shelf in a few days. basically you just need to remember to order from the TV shopping every saturday and place orders with gotz and gray whenever they finish stuff.

random tips

after unlocking the fuckass hot spring sprites (the ones that require you to spend a total of 700 1 hour sessions in the hot springs) i usually grind grazing points— if you put your animals outside for 5 hours you get a “Love Point”, but if you interact with them after they earn that LP then the timer switches over and you can get another LP after 5 more hours. if you wear the time ring the whole time it’s 2.5 hours. i’m not very good at explaining this but basically if you’re super efficient you can get way more animal LP than you realistically should, which is great because the touch glove petting minigame is Bad!!!!

i usually wait on getting the rest of the purple sprites (the ones that require you to hire the purple team and ask for healing) until i’m totally done with the indigo team, cuz i wanna get HG’s purple heart event asap, but you can switch the order if you want

by summer y1 you’ll basically have a feel for everything. aside from Skye, Leia, HG and WP everyone can be married early-mid autumn if you want

if you want to Gay (in the japanese version only) keira is the quickest to marry. leia is the quickest to max affection but it’s impossible to get leia year 1 because the bottle you need to fish up can only be caught in spring. you have to wait until at least year 5 for WP and iirc year 6 for HG.

[archivalofsins]

What are your theories and opinions on the new sprites shown for Milgram??

Okay out the gate- Spoiler warning for under the cut for anyone avoiding the images or voice lines.

I LOVE KAZUI'S NEW DESIGN AND VOICELINES SOOOOO MUCH-

Oh gosh oh got dam he's so pathetic. He hasn't bathed, shaved, combed his hair or even changed his clothes from last trial. This is fantastic. On top of that- Yes; drop the façade and tell us you wanted to be found guilty and judged,

07 Mukuhara, Kazui

Voice line 1: Mukuhara Kazui. I don’t have anything else to say. I’m just a murderer.

Voice line 2: It doesn’t matter if you forgive me. I don’t forgive myself. Nothing will change. Nothing can change.

Voice Line 3: This whole time I’ve been blaming myself. Since nobody else will blame me. And the person who should be blaming me is no longer here.

Voice line 4: People did die after all. I was wary of Yuzuriha-chan, but there was nothing I could do about this. If you forgave me hoping I would do something, I’m sorry. I couldn’t.

Voice Line 5: I wonder what was wrong. Where did I first go wrong? What could I have done to avoid lying? What could I have done to stop myself from caring?

Half

"Where did I go wrong, probably from the beginning."/ "All this time till now has hurt me, the scales of my heart has decided to sway. If continuing to hide is called unhappiness, not even one word will get to you."

"What could I have done to stop myself from caring?"

"I realize the futility, but I still can’t help but dream."/ "I can’t stop, I can’t be normal- This feeling, it can’t be gratified. I can’t stop, I can’t be normal- This feeling, it’s yearning to be satisfied."

"What could I have done to avoid lying?"

"Lie, until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade. Since when have I ignored my feelings? It’s better to be a let down, than to be let down yourself."/ "I gotta keep it inside and act."

Where did I first go wrong?/ Probably from the start.

"The person who should be blaming me is no longer here."

"I wonder what was wrong."/I’m just a murderer.

In short, I love everything about this development. I am so happy with this. I've wanted to hear him say it for so long at this point and I am sooooo happy with this outcome for him. He's in a hell of his own creation.

It's so cute~

Also I noticed someone got a bit more tied up.

I love when people are so afraid of rejection but desire criticism so heavily just to feel something that comes off as genuine and real they fall into self-hatred because no one else will give them the scorn they know they deserve.

I love it so much, and Kazui embodied that energy from the beginning.

Amane trial 2 be looking like,

"Unbind me blasphemers- Your corrupted eyes will be crushed under the weight of all that is true and right. You have forsaken me, scorned god, and failed yourselves. Continue it and I will put us both out of your misery."

Everyone: Lol is this someone we should vote guilty again???

Jackalope,

"Because she was found “guilty”… oooh. Well that’s a dangerous game! I’d say you may end up catching a tiger by the tail."

Everyone: Ahn what's the worst thing that could happen it's not like she's being unbound before our very eyes right now.

Meanwhile,

It's quite convenient that Amane's religious garment covers up the exact strap that was loosened last trial. So, we can't see if it's been undone or refastened. However, we can see from the tightness around the bottom of her uniform in her trial three art that her restraints have actually been fastened again.

And she was even kind enough to add another new restraint in the form of her faith to keep her grounded. Good for her. It's great that her and Futa's new sprites imply that their ability to request items has been reinstated.

Man- it's like if we voted some prisoners guilty twice, Milgram may have actually released them from their binds to kill us or something. Wish someone warned us about that~

Given their new clothes.

So, it's good that wasn't a permanent thing (we will get to Mikoto), but it would have been interesting if they didn't reinstate ordering privileges. So good call to the people who voted her innocent on being able to properly read a threat and deescalate. Though that's just what I figure maybe the would have been further restrained, but it wouldn't be the first time in Milgram someone voted guilty lost restraints.

"Because she was found “guilty”… oooh. Well that’s a dangerous game! I’d say you may end up catching a tiger by the tail."

I do find the reaction to the fact that Amane purged Shidou hilarious.

Mostly because the way people have responded to this knowledge while overlooking those involved in the deaths of others is really interesting. I think the audience is so primed to attack itself for people having the audacity to not see things the way others see it that many people have forgotten how the characters respond to their verdicts is fully up to them.

Something that people were more than willing to say when it came to Kotoko attacking several prisoners during the trial one intermission. Because even though she basically broadcasted that she attacks people who have done bad things it's not like the audience voting her innocent let her continue undeterred with the ability to request anything to accomplish her goal of punishing evil. Because honestly it's nkt as though anyone was saying Kotoko's behavior was so justified that she didn't deserve to be here and hoping no wishing she, anyone, or anything would make the prisoners they found umdesjrabke go through the same things they put others through.

No one was ever saying things like that, right? I'll stop messing around. Saying things like. . . Well, those are all pretty common reactions people have to the misdeeds of others. It's only natural for people to feel that way and voice it. It's how many people respond to the horrid actions of those in real life as well.

However, I think some people's commitment to reestablishing an us versus them mentality ultimately creates flaws in their defenses for other prisoners. That or at least a lot of noticeable hypocrisy.

Ultimately repeating the same pattern of behavior that got her an innocent verdict to begin with while making people lose sympathy for the older prisoners within Milgram regardless of if they were still technically minors or not.

It's become increasingly easier to say certain characters are young/minors as such their age, upbringing, and circumstances at the time all of those things should be taken into consideration more heavily. However, most times, the people who reach for these excuses fail to recognize that logic doesn't simply stop applying when it's a child they happen to dislike or has slighted them personally. They also fail to realize that no one ever ages out of deserving that consideration.

In my opinion, a lot of people were quick to get on the defensive and pointed to Amane's age and actions to highlight that she was a lost cause. To state again that people were being too lenient because she was young and go around asking, "Well, how do you feel about that verdict and your choices now?"

Hence why as my friend puts it,

Because either someone is a child or they are not. Either someone being a child matters or it doesn't. It's not an instance of,

"Age only matters when I say it does. Why's that? because I said so of course."

Sadly, the simple truth is at least where I'm from Amane would be considered a child of course but not a "child". Amane is twelve years old. That is technically past the age in childcare education when a person is considered cognizant of their actions and fully aware of if they are right or wrong. So past the point being a child could be use to excuse or state that they were not fully cognizant or capable of recognizing what they were doing was wrong at the time. Because they were literally too young to know better.

"If you're over ten you can catch these hands. You know you're not supposed to be doing that."

Like the persistent assumption that people have voted Amane innocent simply due to her age and with no real thought about her actions or circumstances is weird. She's not seven years old she's a whole middle school student she says it herself,

20/06/13

Amane: ……what’s wrong, Shidou-san? Your hand has stopped marking. This is mathematics, so there’s no questions about the answers. If I got something wrong, please mark it with an X. Shidou: I…… I just don’t understand. If everything about MILGRAM is true…… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad……

The audience will do anything not to blame an adult woman. Even blame a guy showing general concern for a child's safety by telling her mom he saw her hanging out under a bridge with trash near it. Instead of judging this girls mother for her over the top reactions and consistent display of abusive tendencies. No wonder Amane thinks violence is right. The audience spent the whole of her second trial creating defenses for the most violent person in her song.

When Shidou Kirisaki would have just simply killed her mother and was appalled at just imagining the circumstances that could lead to someone so young killing another person. Just saying if Shidou meets Ms.Momose in hell where they both are it is on sight for him. He's gonna be in hell like,

Ms.Momose: I tried my best with my daughter but she just would never listen then she killed me, and now I'm here! *sobs in child abuse* I don't deserve this.

Shidou: I'm about to do one thing right- You're gonna be under hell when I'm done with you.

Shidou: Hold on a second... Your last name wouldn't happen to be Momose, would it?

Ms.Momose: Why yes it is-

"That’s right, there’s justice that needs saving."

This man in hell-

Shidou: You could have given her a happy family you could have been normal! God I hate that souls exist because if they didn't- I WOULDN'T BE HAVING TO SEE YOURS RIGHT NOW! YOU TURNED YOUR HOUSE INTO A PRISON BEFORE SHE EVER WENT TO JAIL!

This is how he's working up to reincarnation. Shidou Kirisaki and Amane Momose cursed to never be family because of those first verdicts. Just doomed to not get along from the onset. If she was innocent maybe she would have helped. Yet the audience told her just like her mother did everything she believed was right was wrong and everything she looked at as wrong,

Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself? ……please give me back my test. It seems you don’t have the concentration levels required to be my teacher. I’m going to get Kotoko-san to teach me instead. Shidou: Amane…… I don’t think that’s true. However smart you may be…… you’re still just a child.

Was right actually. Man, how different life would be if they were both innocent trial one-

Oh, well! Them's the brakes~

Regardless Amane's facial expression reflects how she's internalized her verdicts well. Her and Futa's voice lines imply even though they're innocent, the constant debating over whether they were right or wrong has not ended.

Futa voice line 1- "Kajiyama Futa. Heh… Hahahaha. I see. Looking back, I probably didn’t need to be so scared." Futa voice line 2- "Who cares about forgiving and not forgiving any more. I don’t care about all the annoying voices I kept hearing. There’s something else more important to follow."

"I don’t care about all the annoying voices I kept hearing."

Amane voice line 3- "Kajiyama Futa, he’s my first disciple. Do you have a problem with that? It was me, not you, who brought him the light of faith when he had fallen. If people have something to believe in, they can pull themselves back up however many times it takes." Amane voice line 5- "I was wrong. The religion I believed wasn’t perfect. That’s why so many people broke the rules, opposed it. I can’t count on Milgram either. So I realised, I just needed to create one myself! My own original faith! Hehehe, ahahahaha!"

"Whatever the circumstances may be, she is the one that has to bear the blame. That’s just how it is. Both in and out of MILGRAM, isn’t that right?"/ "I can’t count on MILGRAM either."

It's funny how people will discuss systemic issues and ignore the way that Milgram has implied every system Amane has ever been under has failed her or proven itself to be hostile or unreliable. So, much so that Jackalope notes that voting her innocent giving her this small favor won't change the trajectory of her life one bit because the world is like that and in turn Milgram reflects that reality. The prisoners within Milgram only serve to embody the myriad of ways individuals can react under the realities we all have to live under.

So what do I think about her design? I like the expression work. A lot of people have made fun of it because she looks drugged up-

Hkwever, considering mental bombardment that the prisoners are under daily. As well as how forgiveness has cause fully grown adults to breakdown and give up due to their own mental constitution- Yeah, her expression being like that makes sense to me.

Her shakey smile matches the pressured one that Futa gives in his second trial song,

Alluding to the idea of her either putting on a strong front in the face of adversary or Futa inflicting the same pressure that was put on him onto Amane. Someone who now to her own admission feels as though she is responsible for Futa as he is her very first disciple. This puts Amane into the parental role that she hated people and Milgram trying to put themselves in for her while continuing the cycle of shifting responsibility by making the youngest prisoner responsible for this adult.

Just as she was made responsible for the actions of the adults in her lives by the audience. Of course, it's only right of Amane to be a better example. So, the adults in her life won't stray from the right path anymore. Because if those adults do well,

"Whatever the circumstances may be, she is the one that has to bear the blame."

"It’s now your turn to say that hopeless “I’m sorry”."

"You have my thanks for forgiving me. Thanks to that, I was able to maintain my beliefs. And at the same time, realise where I had gone wrong."

"I was wrong. The religion I believed wasn’t perfect. That’s why so many people broke the rules, opposed it. I can’t count on MILGRAM either. So I realised, I just needed to create one myself! My own original faith! Hehehe, ahahahaha!"

Girl so fucked up by two almost evenly split verdicts-

Decides fuck it I will just create my own religion and incorporate prayer into medicine. Gives man with eye injury stated to be unhealable a eye covering with their religious symbol on it so his eye is constantly guarded and protected by their faith. Literally using that faith as a bandaged.

Yet out the gate,

That's some good shit right there.

Also, me for the thousandth time with Amane- Revolting- Do it revolt as the youngest the adolescent and youngest twenty something. Literally just team up and kick Es' ass if there's a guilty verdict this trial literally just revolt. Fuck this and fuck Milgram. Every other person here was fine with living under this injustice, sitting back and waiting until things worked themselves out, at times never even bothering to talk poorly about this new system they were thrown under as long as it benefitted them.

"This is unacceptable! Where are my rights?! I'm going to sue you!"/ "My crimes? Isn't what you're doing to us a crime?"

Rebel, revise, restructure- Not just one's self and ideals but the way one engages in their environment and at times even the environment itself. The future is up to the people who are willing to reach for it instead of just being complicit in time slipping by. Don't become complacent in what is simply because it's what has always has been. Push and push for a world that is better for not only oneself but the people they share space with.

Because this world we live in doesn't have to be,

"Now I see, this world is cruel and merciless."

Even if one has to build a better place from the ground up by themselves. Even if they have no system in place at present to aid them in any way,

"I can’t count on MILGRAM."

Each prisoner here has kept trying to do what was best for them to the best of their abilities. To do what they thought would allow them to live a bit more fully. To do what they felt would allow them to breath again, that would allow them to stop playing dead- They did the things they did because they wanted to be able to feel alive and as though they mattered. In a world that consistently told them they did not, the things they cared about did not, their views of themselves did not.

The systems we're all born under may never bestow mercy or leniency upon those in need of it. Sometimes, the only things those systems are built for are to cast judgment. So, is it wrong to say something like that is unacceptable; is it wrong to want something more than that- To believe that people deserve better than that?

All of those things are what any other person in this world will have to face in their lietime.

Yet, in the face of all those voices and judgments- That they could not even cover their ears to escape whether it positive or negative falling on them all the time. They did what many people would fail to do under such all-encompassing pressure they remained themselves. They adapted, they changed, and grew through all the ways they've impacted each other... None of the prisoners ever once betrayed who they were.

Believe that people should stand up not only in faith to their religious beliefs but their individual standards. Is it wrong to display that someone could recognize this at a young age and someone could be reintroduced to this fact after years of having the world show them it's impossible through the words of someone younger.

Futa and Amane have both been made to face the brunt of the consequences for actions that others get away with daily as millions either join along or turn a blind eye. They sit here judged for doing something in situations most of the audience would do nothing in or actively engage in while going don't be like that being like this is bad.

"You and you, throwing around rules for fun, hoisting up morality and feeling good."

Two individuals who had to bear the blame of the acts imposed upon them by others they trusted and relied on. All while having the people who did those things to or with them depending on interpretation get off scot-free or have their actions justified. All of that to me makes their pairing within the climax of Milgram- In direct opposition to the power structure that Milgram represents immensely exciting!

The manic hope they have when it comes to changing these structures that have been thrust upon them. The hope to create something different that could save everyone. Even if misguided is such a far stretch from how they started off.

Futa unwilling to believe there was any room in the world for tangible change to be possible,

Q.11 Do you think looking down on people is unforgivable? Futa: The word is full of shitty people- Isn’t is natural to look down on them all. Q.15   What do you want to become in the future? Futa: In the modern era, whatever I do is useless anyway I’m just going along with the flow.

"With just one mistake and I’m out of chances- Bless me, please, with one more chance."

"Looking back, I probably didn’t need to be so scared."

"Because he was found “guilty”, he’s tormented, engulfed with anxiety. Shaking in his boots, I’d say. So amusing."

"I’m different from how I used to be. That person taught me. About faith, about the new world. It’s all down to me…"

All that to say I have many thoughts on them but the main one is- Things are heating up and,

"Swallowing me whole, can’t douse this FIRE."

Es isn't going to be able to douse this fire. They've done it now something they can never take back. These aren't just the prisoners sins but their sins as well.

Well, the phrase hell is other people exists for reason. In solitude people can find peace and reflect within themselves unimpeded by distractions. In others, they find all sorts of judgments regardless of if they're considerate or vilifying.

Well. . .

"Happy or sad? Why decide?"

Man she really needed to get that blanket. These innocent verdicts made her so cold she needed to request,

A sweater reminiscent of Shidou's uniform sweater, order a long dress that calls back to Mahiru's clothing style, get thick long leg socks like Shidou's trial one socks, then get some thick leather shoes. Wow girl you don't want some gloves with all those layers or would that have been too on the nose??? Her dress is still pleated calling back to her school uniform skirt just like with her previous trial designs.

Love being right about her cutting her hair. Enjoyed this greatly. But she is really ticked now. I mean she says thank you but she's mostly just seems resigned to whatever will happen next.

My focus is on the expression work here. Yuno is not smiling anymore her face is stern. Her left hand covering her heart and her right resting at her side in a half balled position. Cutting her hair in a way that no longer allows her to style it in any of the ways she did previously,

May be her attempt at severing the ties between not only herself and her past as well as those versions of her but the audience as well. It's also something I thought would be really fun to do given that chopping off so much hair makes someone feel a lot colder and takes a good deal of time to get used to. All that weight missing off her back and no longer covering her neck fully.

It's like discarding an one of the most consistent sources of warmth she's had throughout all of this. I want her to surprise me so I haven't been thinking about it much outside of oh my gosh yay short hair.

"Is this fun for you? Tying me up, bullying me, watching me suffer. You’re just like the others, getting mad because I was lucky in life and thinking you can treat me however you want."/ "I am doing this is just because of being bored- We are just the same."

Mu "Projector" Kusunoki. Like girl you admitted to bullying people just because you were bored a trial ago. So tell me was that fun for you- Oh wait,

You were because your entire second trial song is just you going boy do I love tormenting my classmates then killing the girl my friends bullied for ignoring me ha ha ha look at how much fun I'm having. Like other than that glad you're alive girl. would have been funny as hell to vote you innocent then see that Curtain Call without you in it though.

Like it starts with Haruka he's fine as hell and then it's just blank for her. That would have been wild. I think the cold open into it is good but just thinking about that as a possibility if we listened is sooo fucking funny to me. Like one of these people were fucked regardless. Can't even say that's the allusion of choice that is just being given a choice without context then one side losing a coin toss and getting mad at the other side for winning.

Like it could've easily been her not here right now. I love how they put barbwire on her head restraint. So she can't wipe at her face even if she cries or well more accurately pull her,

"My sorry spells must be wearing off."

“It hurts~ (cry)” Cries at everything I did nothing wrong💦 ←huh?!

"I am relieved, I am always the drama queen."

Sorry spells. Milgram really went we know your type now every time you fake cry, every time you reach up to wipe at your eyes, or even remotely try to look sad to emotionally sway anyone you will hurt yourself. Jackalope picking out the restraints like,

Jackalope: Ha this is gonna be so funny if we use it they'll hate this.

Everyone else seeing Mu and Kotoko's restraints,

Futa: Uh what the fuck that's not how they brought us in here?

Kazui: I guess they tailor our full restraints to stop us from doing the thing they believe instigated our crimes the most.

Later

Yuno: . . . Thanks for forgiving me. (realizing the prominent belief is she committed abortion and in deep fear of what that would look like if turned into restraints.) I wonder if this time it was genuine. I can’t tell.

It is interesting that Yuno can't tell if the verdict was genuine or not. This implies that she can no longer here the voices. Which um given how Mikoto's case well would mean one thing. Because she should be hearing the voices still just like the last time she was innocent and the thoughts around her crime didn't really change much. So, it's weird she can't tell if Es was genuine or not.

Ultimately though that is fucked up. Also forcing her to always stand on her toes like the made her victims. literally forcing her to stay in a position of walking on eggshells all day Jackalope- Sir what are these other uniforms. I just want to talk because design wise this is fantastic but we are breaking so many human rights laws with this one. She can get a medical condition from that- Let her down.

This dude at the beginning of all this well I'd just vote them all guilty well now we know why- You just wanted to use the uniforms. Controversial take I think we should have done what he said I want to see the uniforms too. I hope they make art of them all in their full restraints.

Onto Kotoko-

OH MY GOD- Milgram how did you know I always wanted a puppy? Oh my gosh this is sooo nice of you. I will be so responsible for this nice doggie. I'm gonna give it food, water, walkies- And so much love and affection! In fact let me just give her a few head pats right now she's such a good girl- OW SHE BIT ME!

Kotoko voice line 1- "Yuzuriha Kotoko. Didn’t think you’d actually show your face in front of me again. Get too close and I’ll bite."

Sorry did you think I the person that is a fan of the man who started kicking a kids ass on introduction would go oh my gosh good heavens that woman is feral- Lol, no. Actually this is fantastic. Good on her for this be worse actually. Start headbutting prisoners for talking to you start growling.

Kotoko has always compared herself to wolves but like got damn. They muzzled her-

Fuck I hit picture limit. I could rationally get rid of some of the several pictures of Amane and Futa... Or I could get rid of Es and Shidou or I could forgo showing Mikoto here at all who I spoke on several times the day the website updated. As well of have the image of burned into my mind. Hmmmmmmm. . . Yeah I'll do the last thing.

Either way I do love how Undercover made all of the restraints seem a bit more tame then they ended up being. In contrast to Mu who is forced to be on tiptoes at all times Kotoko is attempting to put herself on her tiptoes in order to appear larger. Because the leg restraints force her into a cowering position putting her in the position of those weaklings she's always talking about. Huddling in on herself hunched over in mock fear. Hands tied in front of her as though she's begging.

Again Jackalope- Who is making coming up with these? What are these other restraints like? Excuse me come here and explain. This is some startling attention to detail when it comes to these peoples dislikes for someone not interested in the prisoners personal stuff.

That's to say I really like it Kotoko's expression work is also really good. I like how the only thing she can do at this point is glare to look menacing.

Here's a link for what He looks like. This reads like I'm censoring something bad. Gunsli you're really not going to take out any of the superfluous images to just let us see. I'm so sorry I'm committed to the emphasis. Shidou doesn't even have a new outfit to discuss that man is static and you added pictures of him. Salty because Shidou Kirisaki can't kill everyone's abusive parents now huh? Look I'm working on correcting that but there's no need to be mean to him about it.

Like his connection is just poor right now. Come on. Staff is hard at work trying to reconnect them I'm sure. Until then be patient.

I'm mostly linking that so people can follow along/look over his new design if they need to and tell me if I misremember something. Which I won't because I know my memory is trash and will be looking over the image too later. Though for now. Mikoto's trial three character art is representative of each verdict the two Mikoto's have gotten.

He is dressed in a fashion that displays he is half guilty and half innocent. Unlike Amane and Futa who have requested new clothes he is still in his trial one clothes. This implies that the innocent verdict while for him technically did not impact him fully. What do i mean by this?

Just as Futa and Amane are still hearing voices debating their circumstances positive and negative. Chances are since Double was more Mikoto (John's) song than Mikoto's though they were found innocent since Mikoto's sins weren't being judged his material circumstances within Milgram may not have been changed in order to balance things out.

Mikoto is also missing one shoe this cements his ties to the guilty prisoners who have been stripped of their shoes entirely. Differentiating him from all the other Innocent prisoners as well. Overall Mikoto's trial three sprite embodies both of the verdicts they have received somewhat individually over the course of Milgram.

MeMe being found guilty while Double was found innocent may have ultimately reinforced the identity crisis MeMe illustrates Mikoto having through its lyrics,

"I’m already the fake one."/ "Kayano Mikoto. I think. That’s who I am, right…? Ahaha, you’re probably wondering what I’m talking about."

The fact that he hasn't changed his clothes over the course of all these trials cements his reluctance or aversion to change. As well as his inability to fully accept his circumstances for what they are while everyone else has adapted over the course of Milgram he's ultimately remained stagnant. Simply due to him not being able to connect with almost all of the other prisoners on a deeper level.

He did attempt to connect with Kotoko and he isn't particularly a difficult person to communicate. However he's always come off disingenuous to others within Milgram or hard to form a connection with due to his more practical nature. The one person he has gotten on well with somewhat was Amane however their views on religion are so conflicting that unless he can get something out of believing they may end up having problems.

All around he's in a horrid state and looks to have lost a good deal of weight. He's also vomiting in one of his voice lines and stated he is more anxious and afraid. More than likely because there is no longer someone else's ignorance for him to hide behind. At the beginning of the day when Mikoto was put in that extraction machine by himself he we saw a much clearer version of events. If he's put in there all by himself again after getting himself voted guilty on his own from the start-

Well, he has every reason to be on edge. If I was in his situation I'd be worried too. You know if it weren't for the whole-

"If I could laugh, if I could go back I’d play dead even though I’m alive right?"

I'd be more worried about him which I am still worried for different reasons- But I'm mostly curious to see if when he looks his weakest will be when he's at his worst.

I've still been thinking about it every day regardless of what's going on for me personally. I can't wait to find out which it is. I can't wait to get to see more of the remaining prisoners as they are now.

[itsu-saragi]

Devlog #3 - Revisions and Indecisions.

Sjdjfdhs hi. Apologies for letting the “see you in a month” turn into several months. Work got busy, then I caught Covid, after recovering I went on vacation, and then work got busy again… But I did work on this VN all throughout.

I didn’t make as much progress as I wanted, but some progress was made nevertheless.

So what exactly did I do? Let me count the ways.

Story Revisions

Changed the premise from magic academia to magic uhhh small business? Workshop? Something like that, I'm not sure what to call it.

My original story followed the player character and their love interest as they explored their university campus. This came to be because I was tinkering with the concepts of "group partners to lovers" & showing the player character as non-humanoid to allow for reader-insert and immersion, like the Obey Me games and the pink sheep MC. But the story stopped being appealing to me, plus the scope started to become bigger than I had anticipated. Multiple CGs in different locations across a giant campus? Yeah that's a nightmare to draw.

I'd still like to explore the idea of a non-humanoid MC though, so maybe that'll be a future game, or at least another brain dump post!

But anyway, I shrunk the premise. One store, one LI, and the customers that enter the little workshop. I'm still sticking to the idea of mundane modern fantasy though.

Because of the location change from university to workshop, I've had to revise the LI a lot. He's shaping up really well though! His name is Fen, I hope I can introduce him here sometime soon.

Building Frameworks

I'm not sure what to call it, so for now I'm calling it frameworks.

Basically, instead of tackling each aspect of the game separately from drafts to completion (ex: drawing all sprites right now and then moving on to writing the script), I want to create rough versions of everything.

I think this will help me because then I'll have an idea of how much work each aspect will entail, and I can hopefully spot and remedy any holes or glaring skill issues.

This is especially important for coding. I'll be using RenPy, the classic engine for visual novels, but I have very little coding experience. I'd like to gain some before I start creating the writing and assets meant to be incorporated into the platform.

By creating the framework (or I guess prototype is the better word in this case), I'll get some understanding of how RenPy works and once I have the assets complete I can insert those in.

For plot frameworks, I'm trying not to go into too much detail. Lots of bullet points cause I fuck with those.

For character frameworks, I must admit I'm putting a lot of thought and detail into Fen, but I think I should as he's the core of this game. I'm reminding myself though that much of him can still be altered if the story requires it.

There's definitely more frameworks I need to think about, like sprites, backgrounds, and music too.

But to sum it up, I'd like to create a rough draft of the entire game, and then only afterward do I start going in and changing details and adding colors to the big picture. I hope that makes sense.

Next Step: Character & Coding Frameworks

For the rest of April and probably the entirety of May as well, I'll focus on fleshing out Fen and putting together the coding framework.

I think figuring out Fen's character arc will help me get an idea of the overall story, which is incredibly daunting yet exciting lol

I'm not planning on making the coding look pretty, I just want to make something that functions. I have no clue how well that will go so please pray for me or something.

Personal Thoughts: I am Afraid

I think the reason why I didn't make a lot of progress is because lately, I've been afraid of doing so. I've never made a game before, or written an original story. I don't know what I'm doing, and instead of directly addressing things I've kept working around them. And because I haven't made much progress, it stresses me out. And then that stress makes me do less work.

Hellooo feedback loop.

I'm an indecisive person who likes to look for the right or most optimal answer. But in a creative project like this, it's hard to know what the "right" answer is cause it can be subjective.

I'm trying to remind myself to enjoy the process and to take small steps, and everything is still changeable as I'm still in the beginning stages. It's hard, but as I'm writing this update I think I'm feeling better.

I'm sure this gamedev journey will be me enjoying the ride and then immediately hating it, so for anyone reading: thank you for your patience. I appreciate you.

I'm going to try and post an update, no matter how small it is, once a month. So. Cheers to me being able to post this in April.

I'm still trying to figure out what to post and how to get my thoughts across. I've never done anything like this before, so please bear with me. If you have any feedback, please feel free to share!

And again, thank you to whoever's reading this. I hope you have a great timezone :)

[blazehedgehog]

Is it possible to make a game like Sonic 3 today within the deadlines it had back then? Pixel art, physics and all.

Why wouldn't it be?

It was the third game in the series. They already had a very strong idea of what they were trying to do with the character, they already had proven technology under them that they could easily extend and upgrade. They had been doing this on Sonic for three years already, and some of the people had been working for Sega even longer than that.

These were talented, experienced people. Professionals. Having the prior knowledge to be able to say, "if we do X, then we get Y" allowed them to work quickly and efficiently.

So I would compare it to, say, what I did with OverBite. OverBite was a game I made for a Clickteam Fusion Game Jam in 2016. We had from like, September 30th or even the 29th up to October 31st to make an entire game. It came out to something like 33 days.

So I made this game where you play as Dracula. I wrote all the code, designed all the mechanics, made all of the sprites, and built all of the levels. Alone. By myself. A single person. The only other person to help me with anything was my old friend Malcolm Brown, who handed me some music.

I had JUST bought Clickteam Fusion 2.5 on Steam, which means it had 0 hours of usage registered. I used it to make OverBite, which means I could track exactly how many hours I spent working on the game, and though I don't remember the exact total, I remember after doing the math it ended up shaking out to between 9 to 11 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 33 days. It was more than 300 hours total.

Again. For one person. I'm not saying it's the greatest game ever made. The level design in particular was extremely last second -- literally, I was down to the last day, only really had finished the gameplay engine, so I cobbled together four levels in a few hours and put it up seconds before the deadline at midnight. But the point is that I had worked in Clickteam Fusion for a decade and a half and could execute on my needs very well. I knew the software and the process like the back of my hand.

Now imagine having two people like that. Or five. Or ten. "300 hours of work in one month" suddenly turns into 3000 hours in one month. Using tech they already have, and proven gameplay concepts they have a lot of familiarity with.

It still wasn't easy, mind you. But the concepts that made it work back then not only still work today, they probably work even better because you aren't fighting to squeeze things down into such limited hardware. Like, the entire reason a game jam can even exist as a concept at all is because at a certain level of development, things are just easier now.

A game jam in 1994 is an impossible concept to think of because the tools had to be so super specialized to an incredibly narrow kind of work environment. You had to be a genius computer scientist to get something like Sonic the Hedgehog to function, never mind how much money it would cost to get something like a development kit.

Today, literally anyone can pick up a copy of Godot or Unreal 5, watch a few Youtube tutorials, and make a game from their bedroom with consumer tools. And those tools are faster, easier, and more intuitive to work with than anything that came before. It cannot be understated what a huge concept that is, and how that used to be totally impossible 15-20 years ago.

(And before some British dude rolls up like "yeah well you could always do that with the amiga" -- that's true, but it's also still different, and the fact that you can just give Microsoft $20 to unlock "Developer Mode" on an Xbox and start pushing Unity and Unreal games you develop on your PC to a console is still mindblowing in context.)

And it trickles down, too. If you know the conversion process, you can use these nice amazing modern tools to make proper retro games that run on real retro hardware.

All of this is to say that just because it's easier doesn't mean it should be done. OverBite absolutely slaughtered me. 11 hours of game development a day, 7 days a week, for almost five solid weeks was deeply unhealthy, physically and mentally. I haven't come close to finishing any game project, ever, since OverBite. It fried me.

And on Sonic Team's side, Sonic 3 was so massively stressful for them that they quit making Sonic games for almost half a decade. Crunch time development like that hurts in many ways, both visible and (mostly) invisible.

But yes, it could still absolutely be done.

[sundslime]

Another Object Comic Blog 2

Back at it again with another name change! This one’s probably the last one for a bit though.

A good amount of progress has been made on the idea of the comic since my last post in March. That is, I hunkered down with some buds and actually made a kind of rigid outline of how I want the plot to be structured. A good amount of ideas were leftovers from Exclusion Delusion but more fleshed out with a cleaner idea for a possible ending in mind, which makes me happy! Every time I’ve taken a stab at a comic like this I usually drop the idea because I don’t know how I’d end it, so having that in mind has been reassuring.

Here’s a mostly redacted look at the outline of the story, mostly for the sake of keeping things a surprise! Who doesn’t like a good surprise? I will leave a synopsis of the beginning of the story though, so here! Objects of many different locations live on a planet with only them and are all aware of/ friends with each other. Ornament is the main character of the story, who on their (TBD)th birthday travel around the world in search of artifacts warning of an impending doom. After a year, the end of the world takes the form of a competition in which each challenge takes place on a different planet.

Unlike the plot, the biggest point of contention has been the actual characters to appear in the comic! Truth is, there’s been dozens of characters that have had the possibility of appearing in the comic. Some as main characters, and others as more comic relief side characters. Sizing down the original fifty plus characters has been no easy task, and I’ve joined a bunch of calls with some buds trying to decide which characters should stay or go has been a struggle. I’ll probably come to this decision on my own since these are my characters and only my most cherished of children will make it in..

The spreadsheet above was originally where I listed out all of my ocs and we went through them all and talked about how which characters could act and little quirks they could have. I’d be a liar if I said it didn’t help give me an idea on the characters I FOR SURE wanted in.

Ornament’s a character I’ve wanted in the comic since day one, they’re GUARUNTEED to be a main character. I used them in this enviornment as a test of how I’d draw backgrounds in the comic.

As another small experiment, I tried to go back to my last comic Sunburn and redraw it with the skills I have now in a style I might’ve liked back then, I’m pretty happy with how it came out!

Below is another character with a similar style. She’s also guaranteed for the comic, her name’s Inkwell!

More onto the look of the comic...

I’ve also been messing around with a potential style for the comic. It’s another one of those things that I’ve been putting a lot of thought into, but at the end of the day I think I have a good idea for what I want to do.

My biggest inspirations for this comic have always been my favorite object shows (ONE, Battle for Dream Island Again) and their saturated colors and simple designs, and Homestuck and the many many MSPFAS out there (Vast Error, A Guy Gets Revenge). Drawing objects in this style consistently has been a bit of a struggle, but I’ve found myself gravitating towards big and round hands, and tiny lil’ feet.

I don’t know if I’ll lean as heavy with the gradients and blurs though, since they’ve given me mixed results. I think I like the look of them when minimally used so I’ll probably stick to that.

Another art related thing I heavily debated on using was sprites. At first, I wanted to completely opt out of using any sprites for the sake of simplicity, but with the help of some really nice people I not only re-sprited old characters, but decided that I might go with this sprite style for the new characters. They’re so silly that it’s been hard for me to say no!

Another thing I want to note before ending this post is that just like all of my other comics, I do not mean for this to be the job of a crew where I’m only a writer.

This is my comic, and something I’ve wanted to make. Chances are that just like Sunburn, I’ll be writing a large part of the comic and drawing a large chunk of the panels. I wanna carry the weight of this because its my story!!! With that being said, anyone’s welcome to help! If you’re interested, feel free to DM me on Discord @sundSlime#2003.

TLDR?

Progress on the comic has been underway, but there’s a lot of stuff left to iron out. Hope you guys like what I have so far! Have a good day :)

[eri-blogs-life]

Bones Before Hooks, Chapter 5: Floors 1-50

Okay, shit's getting tough. I think we gotta really work on prepping some more before we head in.

Oh no, I was worried about this. The badge shop doesn't replenish with new badges unless you progress in the story. I've now got everything they've got to offer.

Also, I was definitely hoping I'd be able to use Toast T's services to cook up some dishes to get better healing items, but looks like I won't be able to get the contact lenses she needs until after I progress the story.

Oooo I did earn an Ice Storm from buying shop stuff, though, so that's nice. That's an item that can really come in handy at the right moment

Hmm, we can probably get enough Shine Sprites to level up exactly one of our partners without advancing the story. I think there's exactly three to be found within Hooktail's Castle, so I'll explore there a bit.

Oooo that's right, there's a life shroom hidden in Hooktail's Castle. Probably just gonna store that until we do the final run.

Awww I just find her so cute. Hmm, I guess this could count as failing my challenge of beating the Pit without progressing the story, but I mean I think the core of the challenge was doing this without progressing past Chapter 1. We'll see. If this progression triggers a flag that makes the badge shop or item shop restock, then I'd consider this a failure.

Alright, we got our third Shine Sprite. Time to get back to Petal Meadows to finish stocking up.

I have stocked up on enough items that I can't even store anything else. Hmmm maybe I should actually use more of my items.

Passing by Merlee, figured it's probably worth re-upping the charm.

Hmmm, so we ended up with 8 star pieces after that exploration. That means no Power Plus or Power Plus P. I don't think there'll be any more star pieces we can get, so we'll have to just use these 8. I'm thinking another Pretty Lucky to keep stacking up that dodge chance. And then... we've already got one Happy Heart and one Happy Flower, so do I stack or do I spread it around? I don't know if I'm gonna regret this but I think I'm gonna go with the Happy Heart P. Give my partner some health buffs.

Okay, the badge shop and item shop didn't refresh. I'll take that as a sign we're good to keep going and count it as the challenge being legal still. Then again I'm making up the challenge myself so I'm calling it valid regardless.

And Koops has been powered up!

Alright, I think we're ready to go. Got lots of additional badges to add once we've got some more BP, and I'm stocked up with lots of items that should help me deal with all kinds of enemy scenarios and push through to the next big leg. If we can succeed in this run, we'll have made it halfway through the Pit!

Floors One-Ten: Koops hitting for 3 with his basic attack is awesome, it helps balance out those odd-HP enemies so I don't gotta superguard everything to finish it off. Made it to ten without any HP/FP/Star Points spent.

Floors Eleven-Twenty: Easy peasy. Got hit with a thunderbolt item from a cloud, but even then we face-tanked that and healed up easy enough. Goin smooth.

Floors Twenty-one-Thirty: Got a floor 23 mover to skip ahead, not bad not bad.

Floors Thirty-one-Forty: Got our next level up, equipping that Happy Heart P for gradual partner recovery. I have also used a few of my items by the end of this stretch - ate a mushroom, used a mr softener on some hyper clefts. But also Luigi threw me a mushroom from the audience, so it's all balancing out.

Floor Forty-One: Big Boom? Actually... they got frozen. It ain't going boom.

Floor Forty-Two: Bigger boom oh no. Probably best to just Fire Drive and set these guys off early... Took a guaranteed 2 damage per bomb, but at least I didn't give them a chance to charge up and make it 8 damage per explosion.

Floor Forty-Three: Got a mover, but we ain't taking it at this point since this is a new set of floors.

Floor Forty-Four: ... Wow, the game really wants me to just skip this section of the Pit haha. In retrospect for what's gonna come next, I think I can understand. Game just wanted to offer me an easy way out.

Floor Forty-Five: Oh god no. I can't jump on these guys, I can't hammer these guys... I don't have the hammer throw badge so I can't do that... I gotta rely on items, but most of the items I've got for damaging enemies at this point only deal with enemies on the ground (POW Blocks) or use fire damage (Fire Flowers). I think I've got an ice storm in my pack, but I don't know if that's gonna be enough damage, and if I hit another spiky parabuzzy... Well, guess this is as good a time as any to practice superguard timing for parabuzzies. ... I am also learning that Pretty Lucky is kinda counter-productive when I'm fighting these very specific enemies where my only option is superguards. Did it in the end and even got a level up from it! And now I think I've got basically every badge I want equipped for now, so next level up we'll probably grab some extra health.

Floor Forty-Six: Oof, another spiky parabuzzy, of fucking course it would be. I equipped zap tap but they ain't even affected by that either. The superguard timing is just a little before what I think it's gonna be, which makes it hard for me to time it out, but I'm learning.

Floor Forty-Seven: Oooo we got potaboos. Or I mean, lava bubbles. A relatively easy enemy to deal with, nice!

Floor Forty-Eight: Just a easy peasy couple of koopas

Floor Forty-Nine: I... lost track of which floor I was on at some point apparently cause I'm actually at...

Floor Fifty: The strange sack! ... Is not as useful as it used to be, huh? I mean, it used to still give you 20 slots, but in OG TTYD you only started with 10 item slots, if I remember correctly. It doubled your item slots in OG, but here it's just a 1/3 upgrade over your base number of item slots, so not nearly as exciting. Still, I'll gladly take it. Especially as we keep trying to get deeper, we're gonna be relying a lot on items.

Alright, time to return to town and restock... though to be fair there's not much restocking I need to be doing. With the way I'm mostly relying on sweet treat for healing my HP and FP, I'm not using a lot of healing items. Honestly, the way things are I mostly only need items for when I hit something like a hyper cleft or a spiky parabuzzy, but truth be told I've still got some solutions for those even without items... Those solutions are just kinda shitty, so the items make it a lot easier.

[snarkformysanity]

House of Earth and Blood Chapter 60

Bryce tells Hunt about her latest theory, and then goes to see if Danika's old work account (at Redner) has any useful info.

Her fingers shook only slightly as she typed in Danika’s username, having seen it so many times on her phone in the past: dfendyr. DFendyr—Defender. She’d never realized it until now. Fury’s harsh words rang through her head. Bryce ignored them.

Book. Book, it stops being clever when you point it out.

Hunt continues to be very, very helpful for the investigation.

“Again,” Hunt said warily, “it’s a stretch.” He leaned back against the cushions. “We’re better off doubling down with Danaan on looking for the Horn, not chasing down this drug.” Bryce countered, “Danika was involved in this synth stuff and never said a word. You don’t think that’s weird? You don’t think there might be something more here?”

Maybe the drug wasn't found on Maximus? I don't remember. Could be the book tricked me into thinking it was connected when it wasn't. Or maybe it was, and Hunt is just full of shit again.

Bryce is fortunately thinking about connections, ignoring Hunt's stupidity.

Bryce shut her eyes, foot bouncing on the carpet as she recited, “The Horn could possibly be healed by the synth in a large enough dose. Synthetic magic has obsidian salt as one of its ingredients. The kristallos can be summoned by obsidian salt …” Hunt remained silent as she thought it through. “The kristallos was bred to track the Horn. The kristallos’s venom can eat away at magic. The medwitch wants some venom to test if it’s possible to create an antidote to synth with her magic or something.”

I mean, it's just recapping the plot, but the book is so absurdly long we kinda need it at this point. We probably wouldn't need it if all the fluff was cut out, but that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, Hunt has abruptly changed his mind and now wants to fight the drug instead of worrying about the horn. He wonders where they might get some kristallos venom. Bryce says well duh, from a kristallos, but he insists they'll find another way because it's "too dangerous." And yeah, sure, Bryce wants to summon one, but... yeah. Where else are you going to get it?

Ugh, and now it's a "I can handle myself" "well, I can't handle you being in danger, so nyeh" type situation. Kill me.

His words rippled between them. Emotion glinted in his eyes, if she dared to read what was there.

Yes. If she dared. Gee, what could it possibly be? So dangerous and mysterious.

Hunt gets called away on unspecified legion business, and Bryce is left to her own devices.

After trying another few password options, Bryce sighed and shut the computer. They were narrowing in on it—the truth. She could feel it. But would she be ready for it?

The book is trying to pretend it's building to a climax. It really is. But there just isn't any tension. They're just finding out stuff, or not. Nothing tense is happening.

The next day, Bryce gets her period. Hunt can of course smell it, because maaaaaaaaale senses. Also, he's changed his mind again about what they should do next, and he now wants to go after the horn again. They talk a bit, but nothing really happens.

Cut to Bryce at work, with Lehabah. She managed to convince Hunt to stay outside.

But despite needing him, needing everyone, at arm’s length today, and despite claiming she couldn’t look for the Horn, she’d been combing over various texts regarding it for hours now. There was nothing in them but the same information, over and over.

It doesn't make it any better if you point it out, book.

We're reminded that the nøkk exists, and Lehabah is still afraid of him.

It was another form of torture for the sprite, Bryce had realized early on. A way for Jesiba to keep Lehabah in line down here, caged within a cage, as surely as all the other animals throughout the space. No better way to intimidate a fire sprite than to have a hundred-thousand-gallon tank looming.

I mean..... sure, but, Lehabah doesn't have to interact with the tank in any way. How is it different to all the other tanks that have been there the entire time?

Lehabah tries to convince us that the nøkk in the tank with the hatch that's too small to fit through is a genuine threat, so I'm sure it will be later. Especially since Bryce isn't too concerned about it. I can smell the dramatic irony brewing.

Bryce glanced toward the dim tank, illuminated by three built-in spotlights. “Jesiba will get bored with him soon and gift him to a client,” she lied to Lehabah. “Why does she collect us at all?” the sprite whispered. “Am I not a person, too?” She pointed to the tattoo on her wrist. “Why do they insist on this?” “Because we live in a republic that has decided that threats to its order have to be punished—and punished so thoroughly that it makes others hesitate to rebel, too.” Her words were flat. Cold.

And yes, naturally, pissing off a gigantic underclass of people is the way to suppress rebellions. Uh huh. That's why there's not any wars happening in Pangera or anything. They mention Hunt (because of course), and Lehabah insists that there is always something to lose. Idk. That's the end of that scene.

Hunt POV. Yay. He's following Bryce, because of course he is.

If she was aware that he followed, she didn’t seem to care. Didn’t even look up once as she aimed for a wooden bench along the river walkway.

Hunt, you've literally never left her alone since this whole thing began. Of course she knows. And she doesn't say anything because you refuse to take no for an answer. Like a domineering asshole.

Sick of waiting until she deigned to talk to him about whatever was eating her up, Hunt landed quietly before sliding onto the bench’s wooden planks

Ugh, the fucking language. Until she "deigned" to talk to him? And why are you entitled to her conversation, Hunt? Fuck off.

Anyway, Bryce is out of sorts because today is Danika's birthday, and no one else seems to have remembered. She talks about how the rest of the world seems to have moved on, as if Danika never existed.

Naturally, Hunt starts talking about himself and Shahar. Lest we forget.

It's the longest paragraph on the page, btw. It's clear where the book's priorities lie.

[Bryce] looked to the river. “I never realized it,” she murmured. “That you and I are mirrors.”

I mean... they're not, really. Mirror characters are an actual literary device - two characters who have similarities in their stories and arcs, usually to make some sort of narrative point. The opposite device is the Foil, who are two characters who are opposite to make some sort of narrative point.

For example, in the Hunger Games, Katniss and Gale are mirrors (both hunt to support their families, both are poor, etc), while Katniss and Peeta are foils (poor girl vs town boy, unsociable vs sociable, etc). Throughout the story, Katniss is often compared and contrasted with both her mirror and her foil. Peeta highlights how he and Katniss are different - parts of her character are emphasised because they contrast his. And this is often also compared to Gale, to emphasise Katniss's difference from Peeta. But that's not the only point of having Gale be her mirror - it really comes into play later, with their differing views of the rebellion. It highlights how much Katniss has changed over the course of the story and diverted from her mirror, Gale.

Bryce and Hunt are not mirrors. About the only point they have in common is that they've both lost someone important to them, which on its own isn't really enough to make them mirrors. Nothing else about them is similar. And even if they were mirrors, it doesn't really seem to have any particular narrative purpose, except to try and justify the romance/create a little "us against the world" bubble. Which, given how much of a controlling ass Hunt is, is honestly kind of creepy.

Anyway, they banter a bit about being mirrors.

“And who am I?” “A pain in my ass.” Her smile was brighter than the setting sun on the river. He laughed, but she added, “You’re my friend. Who watches trashy TV with me and puts up with my shit. You’re the person I don’t need to explain myself to—not when it matters. You see everything I am, and you don’t run away from it.”

See, this would all be well and good if they hadn't 1) only known each other for a few weeks, tops and 2) either of them had the option of leaving. Hunt will not leave Bryce alone, and if we take his word at face value, he is unable to leave himself due to his orders. It doesn't mean shit that no one "ran away", they literally can't even if they want to.

Also, it all just feels kind of... statement-y? Like, the book is reading off a checklist of "top ten signs your relationship is healthy" and is having the characters recite them at each other. Maybe throw in a random one-off scene (like the TV watching) so we can't cry ass-pull. The characters are saying all these nice things, but I find I don't really believe it.

Well, Bryce opens the box of croissants she had with her, and someone has written "trash" on one of them in chocolate sauce. Hunt decides one of the wolves did it and flies off, presumably to beat them up.

He locates Amelie at a bar, storms in, and grabs her by the throat and slams her against the wall. We are of course reminded that he is the Umbra Mortis while he's doing this. Heaven forbid we forget. He tells Amelie to leave Bryce alone, or else.

Amelie looked like she’d spit on him, but he sent another casual zap of power into her, flaying her from the inside out. She winced, hissing and gagging. But nodded.

Hmm. Yes. Very proportional reaction. Do you know what "flay" means, book?

He flies back, where Bryce is on the phone with Isaiah. But she hangs up when she sees Hunt coming.

“Is Amelie dead?” There was fear—actual fear—in her face. “No.” The word rumbled from him, lightning hissing in its wake. “You …” She rubbed at her face. “I didn’t—” “Don’t tell me I’m an alphahole, or possessive and aggressive or whatever terms you use.”

Why not, Hunt? Because it's true? How is "flaying her from the inside out" not aggressive?

See, the thing that bothers me about this (well, one of the things) is that the book only seems to remember that he's been accused of being an alphahole when there's some sort of plausibly-deniable factor at play. There are many examples of him being a straight-up possessive ass that the book blithely ignores. But here, where he's (nominally) defending Bryce from a perceived slight, is when the book finally brings it up. If Bryce calls him an alphahole now, then she's a hypocrite, because his alphahole-ness benefited her (nevermind that she didn't ask for it and actually expressly asked him not to do it, only to be overruled because He Knows Best).

But no, we can't have Hunt being perceived as anything less than perfect, so Bryce is actually afraid for him and no further mention of alphahole-ness is made. Ugh. Why am I getting the vibe that this is meant to be the "hah, take that haters" scene where Bryce finally accepts The Truth that Hunt is definitely Not An Alphahole and so all the people who think he is can suck it.

Anyway, scene change. Bryce gets the unnamed medwitch's number off Ruhn, because she's remembered that random line where we were told there's kritallos venom in her injured leg. And then the chapter ends there.

[rinamohn]

My reactions to Danganronpa The After Episode 18 below!

I watched this part in 3 parts which is why I had some hellish cliffhangers lol

Part 1:

I'm at minute 24 and... Seki that motherfucker!!! I see what he did!

Of course his plan had to involve tricking Hatami into unknowingly killing Kirigiri😭

Let me pray for a miracle quick so that my heart won't break 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

...the amount of self control it takes to not skip forward to reassure myself that Hatami will survive...

I will stay strong but 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Lemme just curl up and die🙈

The only thing that could save him is if Kirigiri actually commited suicide (her little smile is quite sus).

But in true thematic fashion, I'm quite afraid of having hope right now.

Killing Hatami here would be an incredible bummer and super unsatisfyingly, but from a story standpoint not impossible. Proving Hatami's despair right would be an incredible painful blow.

My girl Konoe is suffering immensely right now and this could very well be an event which breaks her light.

She would need to regain it in the following chapters then.

That would be an interesting development, however my heart is clear that I do NOT want Hatami to die here! I WILL cry!

Konoe... Please create a miracle with your Ace Attorney powers...

One small thing I forgot to say cus good god.

Hatami was so cute😭😭😭

He did not look like a murderer who was lying to his friends tho.

Part 2:

Can you believe how much my heart dropped when the part started with a Closing Argument?😭

For a second I really thought: This is it. Hatami will really die.

I'm SO SO glad that Konoe, Marin and Koin managed to convince everyone to continue the discussion.

Konoe clocked Hatami absolutely right in him just looking for a place to die.

Her listing all the ice cream she wants Hatami to buy her when they get out is so cute🥺✨

That blushy sprite too!

Let's not forget that we are still in chapter 2 tho! My hope of Hatami surviving for long are now stronger than ever! But chapter 5's don't care about our feelings.

God knows it might end with Seki and Hatami dead a la Process of Elimination chapter 5!

I WILL cry!

I remember wondering about the body announcement too but then forgetting about it. Bless Marin for bringing it up again! It wasn't the key to solving this for good but it paved the way~

Of course the camera function came in clutch! Like we jokes about lol

That photo is quite interesting too.

Wasn't that time when Seki was already supposed to be downstairs?

Weird that Kirigiri was able to make a photo of Hatami at this point. They should have had a door between them after all!

But yeah Kirigiri woke up early 100% and probably commited suicide after realizing what she was used for.

That's why she was able to smile like that!

Please Kirigiri give me this🙏✨

Save my boy 🥺

Part 3:

WHAT

I interpreted the Photo completely differetly. And WHAT. Dave?!

I was not prepare for freaking Dave swooping in to raise a metaphorical middle finger to Seki.

I did greatly enjoy how this turn of events bullied Seki. All his distressed sprites are pieces of art✨☺️

But really Dave?! I'm not prepared to say goodbye to Dave. I like this weird guy 🥲

And I wonder about his reasons too. But I guess we'll have enough time in the next part for that.

Loved the part of Konoe handing over the torch to Hatami🥺 For him to end this.

He showed that he can understand others pretty well too!

Overall feeling for the trial:

That was a lot!!

A rollercoaster of emotions!

I'm so glad we could reach a conclusion where both Seki and Hatami could survive (but we will still lose Dave...).

I feel now even more insane over Hatami, I want watch Seki have a bad time and a lot of interesting dynamics were born!

I love the potential we have gained now~

By far the craziest chapter 2 in Danganronpa history lol

[dedicatedfollower467]

Game Dev Log #2 - 5/2/24

so for the past two days, i've been mostly working on audio. for some reason, i decided that, again, instead of using free assets and the like, i wanted to make all the sound effects myself.

so i did that!

of all the sounds shown off in this video, my favorites are definitely the various wind sound effects and the wall slide. i'm really, REALLY happy with the wall slide, it sounds pretty much exactly like what i wanted. the wind was also a lot of fun, i think it sounds surprisingly good for me making swooshy wind noises into my cell phone mic.

you can also see me demonstrating a few of the physics things i forgot to show off in the previous video - at about 1:20 you can see the short jumps, and throughout the video you can also see a couple points where the wall slide sprite flips the wrong direction or the player just gets slightly stuck. that bug should definitely be my next highest priority... but i really can't figure out a good way to deal with it. theoretically a raycast or shapecast check to look for the wall should work, but my test raycasts didn't detect the wall accurately enough to make it any better than the system i've currently got. i might have to dig into the gdscript documentation a bit to see if i can brainstorm a better solution.

however, the other main bug i had for entering/exiting crawling was easily solved, and i even managed to optimize the crawl handling a bit so that it would be less stressful on the godot physics engine. at least, in theory. it's probably not that much more optimized, but it makes me feel better.

next steps going forward - on the audio side, i'd like to get some actual music going for the background. i need to keep reminding myself it doesn't have to be final, it can also be placeholder music just like the art is placeholder art! i also wanna adding some creaking in with the wind. on the programming side, i gotta try fixing that wall sliding bug, as well as just generally doing some physics tweaks. i think next i'd like to try adding a dash/air dash mechanic. also, i swear i'll try to show off the double jump next time (if i remember it). i might also need to build up this demo level "playground" a bit, so that i have the proper room to experiment.

that's a lot of "to dos" on the list so probably not all of them will be complete by the next time i post, but they're things for me to keep in mind!

[yorkscoffee]

played fae farm during the trial week on switch ... the npcs are made of cardboard and there r some weird bugs and quirks in the game but i had a good time. may or may not have gone a lil insane and completed the whole story and made it to almost the end of summer year 2

gonna write out some thoughts

one of the weird quirks is that u can't name ur character. they will just simply be named after like ur steam or switch or whatever profile. unless u make a phoenix labs account then u can change ur name that way, but if u go offline at all it switches back to the profile name until u log in again (pause > multiplayer > login button; u don't have to actually do multiplayer just log in). very annoying when i do not like to play as myself in these games & also just a strange decision in general imo

character creator is decent but i would recommend going to the voice selection and hitting "silent" before actually getting into it LOL the noises the character makes get so annoying after a bit... the pronoun selection is nice (he she or they) & u can go back into the character creator using a craftable mirror so u can switch all that stuff up whenever u want

the storyline was cute; not exactly deep but the artwork was neat. i liked all the rhymes and the storybook-y feel. the sprites have nice designs. wisp mother should be a romance candidate but she is not

gameplay felt nice; i liked the auto tool switching and the double jump a lot, & having spells and potions that helped with farming was cool. very light on tutorials but if ur experienced with the genre its not too hard to figure out (idk how it is w/o experience bc i cannot un-experience things). having year-round plants that u use magic fertilizer on to change them into seasonal varieties was funky

animals are pretty quirky and a lil buggy. sometimes i would try to water a plant or something and a chicken would teleport to me from across the farm and get pet. or they would just wander away from the Sign That Is Supposed To Keep Animals Near It and get in the way. fences cannot stop them they will simply walk thru it. also in my experience my cows and sheep would stop giving milk and wool if i didnt enter the barn the day before, even if they had food? weird lil quirk there but once i figured it out it was fine

u can pretty much ignore the animals and their affection will still go up & theyll still produce things as long as u feed them, and also the only punishment for not feeding them is they don't produce things. very forgiving. something i thought was really interesting tho that they dont actually point out in game is that petting ur animals gives u some regen on ur stamina and magic and probably hp, which is Super handy and a neat mechanic that got me to continue paying attention to my animals anyway

decorating ur house with specific furniture gives u a "cozy home" bonus; basically this is how u increase ur hp/mp/stamina, which i think is also a pretty neat lil mechanic

also flower breeding is a mechanic. 6 types of flowers, 6 different genes, 12 unique colors. works pretty much like acnh but also u can breed 2 different types of flowers (so like a rose and a tulip) and u'll have a 50/50 shot at getting one or the other. i got almost every color and i will be haunted by the white zinnia until i have an actual copy of the game. also the genes are actually displayed in a lil tooltip when the cursor is over the flower which is really really cool and good and i love that feature so so much it makes everything so much easier and less frustrating

the game doesnt tell u this iirc but crops and flowers can be moved if u go into the uhhhh build mode. like u can just pick up a whole plant and move it wherever. very handy for both flower breeding and just organizing things in general. u can just pick up and move almost anything, & if u can't u can tear it down and get all materials back. u cannot do either thing to a crafting station that has items in it though u have to get the items out first if u want to break it down or move it

flowers r very important if u like customization also. u unlock 2 color palettes (a grand total of 6 colors) automatically and u have to buy the rest. most of them cost like 30 of a particular flower + some other item + money. u can recolor furniture and outfits with ur unlocked color palettes which is nice

combat was fine, bonus points for the potion of i just want to mine please don't perceive me. also bonus points because there is actually a storyline reason for the monsters to be there; always hate it when a game is like "videogame... have combat. videogame Must have combat. i put monsters in cave. now this is a real video game :)" like nah tell me where those slimes came from. in this case the monsters are objects animated by wild magic and they have cute designs and goofy lil names like cannot (a cannon) and skello (a cello)

there are 3 dungeons in the game & the latter two have funky lil puzzle mechanics. if u aint like that then theres things u can make to skip most of em. i thought they were neat & being able to remove them pretty easily meant they didnt overstay their welcome. they also require specific potions so u don't like "die" (get teleported out of the dungeon, which is also what happens if u lose all ur hp) which would probably be cooler if pausing the game would pause the timers on the potions. i assume that sort of thing is because the game was made with multiplayer in mind; this is presumably also the reason why having anything pause time at all in singleplayer was added in an update after launch

(pausing also does not pause monsters. they will murderize u with the pause screen up. on switch u can just go to the home menu 4 a proper pause at least)

the npcs are as mentioned largely made of cardboard; most of the ones u can't befriend (most of the merchants) have the same pool of lines, and the ones u can have a few personal lines and a bunch of lines referencing things uve done in the game even if its been like 10 years since u did it (common in the genre). there are no events with the non-romance npcs or interactions between any npcs except for like some animations; every conversation witnessed is an npc talking to protagonist. the only events are the dates with the romance characters, which are just them and protagonist sitting around and talking with absolutely nothing happening. the dialogue is cute at least

romance npcs' statuses will sometimes get stuck for some reason (this happened to 2 of them when i played) but that i think should be fixable with the "reset relationship" button, which is a pretty cool feature (tho my understanding is it's also a bit buggy sometimes so ymmv)

festivals are just decorations in town and a shop in town hall (including the fae festival, which one would expect to happen in the fae realm). characters have a few unique lines referencing the festival. sometimes they reference... the Wrong festival. goofy lil oversight i think. birthdays are on the calendar but have no impact in-game

marriage is also very nothing; u get a cute wedding scene and then ur spouse just vibes around the farm sometimes. there is no dialogue about this. also other romance npcs' relationship status change to "past sweetheart" or something like that and u cant progress with them at all since ur not allowed to be friends with them

gift giving is also only for romance npcs and each one has a random item that is the only thing u can possibly give them that day. but like talking to them gives good enough points regardless

job quests (questlines related to each skill u have, given by npcs related to that skill) are neat lil "challenges" but u can only pick up one at a time for some reason. weird design choice imo. they give u a hat for doing all the quests and an outfit if u do all the quests And some 100% requirement (like getting every crop at least once for the farming quests, making one of each polished gem variety for mining, etc) which i think is pretty neat

overall i think i would compare it to story of seasons: pioneers of olive town (particularly in its initial state) in that the npcs are very nothing but the gameplay loop is very good and fun; between the two i would say fae farm has the better story tho lol

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Thursday, November 16th

8:30am I have one more big assignment and two more small assignments. It feels impossible and I'm so tired. All I want to do is call my best friend but he won't answer. Just have to do this myself again. I'm extremely strong and resilient and I can't believe I made it to this point.

3:30pm I survived Verbal Defense! I did it! I am really proud of myself for everything I have survived this semester! It's raining really hard which is fucking up my vibe and shit but the rain will stop eventually! I'm like shaking from all the overflow of emotions. This semester took so much from me, out of me, really just beat me tf up. My life has been a trainwreck for so long. I just want peace. I just want to calm the persistent anxiety that's been propping me up for months. I just want to rest my mind. I'm literally shaking from the release of stress. Stress is so undeniable physical and just wrecks your body in so many ways. It's time to rest and heal. You've been through so much trauma the past few months and here you are, still alive, still strong. Don't ignore the trauma you experienced but it's time to heal and grow and begin another chapter, not ignoring the previous chapters, but building off of the lessons learned. We go on.

4pm Just remember that most people don't gaf what you do bro just don't hurt anyone and ur good. I just put fish sticks in the oven and popped open a mojito and I'm chilling until I change my mind and want to do something else.

4:20pm I feel like I can finally process what has happened to me. School put me in survival mode and now I'm free to heal. Yeah I'm crying when I should be feeling nothing but joy. I'm crying bc I didn't get the chance to when I was just trying to survive. I went through so much having my trust broken and my life ripped out from under me. I am traumatized but I'll heal. I know I will. This will pass and then I'll feel the joy of my success. It was all mine and all my hard work. I'm seriously proud of myself and I'll say it 1000x ❤️

4:40pm added image of my fish sticks bc it makes me happy that I'm feeding myself

5:00pm intrusive thoughts but wow I can't believe I didn't kll myself this semester I'm so proud :)

5:10pm I made green beans sauteed in the pan instead of the microwave 🥰 I love myself and I know I am worth so much and I know I can take care of myself when I'm not insanely stressed with school. I'll find myself again in no time ❤️ it's like a dark storm cloud has lifted from above my head

7:47pm I woke up from a nap and my stomach hurts lol I think I made the green beans too oily/buttery but it's ok! Haha. I need to clean out my fridge and get some me foods in here. I haven't gone grocery shopping in ages. Everything is probably freezer burnt tbh but that's ok! You were just trying your best ❤️

I have rented Silence of the Lambs and I think I will take a Tums and have some Sprite and some ice cream and rest some more ❤️

9:25pm ok so I had a finish an assignment that nobody wanted to do so I took one for the team and did it 💕 the Tums helped tremendously and now it's movie time :) I'm glad I don't feel like I'm about to shit myself anymore so that actually worked out 😂

9:49pm physical feelings/ sensations have such a profound impact on my mental status. Seeing something gross or feeling physical pain just send me into a spiral. I would like to know how to work on this more. I think the best thing to do for now is to focus on what I can control in my surroundings.

1am lol ok I ended up not watching the movie and that's ok! MasterChef marathon ftw. Got both my little boys laying on the couch with me ❤️

Woke up and I started thinking about being in a relationship and about him or whatever but I'm not really sad. I think I'm asexual or like really minimally sexual. Idk what it is but like I enjoy people for so much more than sex? Like I want to have a connection with you first and then that will follow. Idk how people just be out here jumping and dumping 😂 it's just a waste of time for me. Long story short, I'm not seeking out another relationship rn so it's hard for me to even feel sexual really. Maybe it's a trauma thing or a stress thing, I really don't know. I do know I can't be the only one who feels this way and that's ok ❤️

2am I think I have autism and yeah I mean I thought of it before but then it's like 🤷‍♀️ ok and? And yeah I just think it explains a lot of things about me. But it's like I don't know what to do with that information lol.

[bahamutgames]

SAGE 2023 Postin'

Yay!! SAGE 2023 has started! Last year I didn't make the time to play much of anything despite having a year to do it lmao, and that really bummed me out so I really wanted to get ahead of the curve and go ahead and play some stuff! Idk how much I'll play from this year's showing cause there's a LOT of great stuff! But I'll make however many posts it takes. Here's what I played tonight that I think YOU should check out!!

Dotty Game - by Wootinaboot

A game from a friend of mine! This is a SUPER cute Megaman like where you play as an ADORABLE little bug and blast mushrooms! This demo is really neat cause it's actually a gameboy file that I had to play through emulator! Although, you can just play it in browser on their itch so that's nice too! Controls are tight, sprites are great, music is REALLY nice and I was surprised by how challenging it could get with some of the bosses. There's also a LOT of hidden stuff to find so be sure to play it all the way through! You do NOT want to miss the special surprise let me tell you!

The Wingless Bee - by Ryansil

Another game from a friend and famously, the creator of Pac-Man as you all know. This game I was not expecting at all, it's actually very similar to Frogger! Though it is kind of gloomy and sad. But it's cool and the demo really shows some neat stuff like perspective changes and boss fights. It's simple but I genuinely had an out loud "AHA!" moment when I figured out how to fight the boss. Cool stuff!

Sonic McOrigins Plus - by Difgue

FINALLY, GAMING IS GOOD AGAIN! I have SO MUCH nostalgia for these old Sonic McDonald's toys! I tried to collect all of them but obviously couldn't (I didn't even realize there were SO many!) But I can relive wonderful memories of Shadow Grinding, Shadow vs Omega Hockey, AiAi Banana Catcher, Amy and Rouge Tennis ect ect. I knew there were efforts to archive these types of game & watch styled games but I hadn't really tried any before myself. This feels great and even works great on my dinky phone!

F-ZERO POCKET - by Linky493

This was such a neat one! F-ZERO on Gameboy Color! It has a TON of characters and tracks, I was actually seriously shocked by how much was in here. It's a little difficult to play though but weirdly enough I feel like that's authentic to how a GBC F-ZERO would be. If you're a fan you gotta check it out the novelty of this one alone is so good!

Toree Saturn - by Siactro

Probably the least surprising thing I've ever said by this point: I love Toree! I've played the whole series and I think at this point I've S ranked every stage in the series??? Maybe? It's been a bit since I looked. So of course I had to try Toree Saturn! I hadn't seen gameplay prior to playing this so I figured it was just gonna be another level pack. But to my delight, no! It's actually a Toree Sequel! A brand new game! New models, new moves and mechanics! Now I am BEYOND excited for this game! I still have to play Kiwi 64 but it looks amazing and Siactro hasn't missed once yet. This was a lovely surprise!

Dono's Tale - by Super Item Studios

WOW! WOW WOW WOW! This one absolutely blew me away! I've had my eye on this game for a bit (I'm so sorry I missed the kickstarter, y'all, I WISH I HAD MORE MONEY I'D FUND SO MANY INDIE GAMES!) But I finally got to try it with this demo and just WOW! This game is SO good! Absolutely GORGEOUS artwork that looks so authentically SNES it's amazing. Super cute music and designs, this was an absolute treat! My favorite powers were fire + wings! I wish you had more use for the other powers, though I do assume a full game will have levels soley based around each of Dono's abilities. This game rules!

Bub's Big Blowout - by Miles' Games

DUDE THIS GAME LOOKS REAL!? FAN GAMES JUST STRAIGHT UP LOOK LIKE OFFICIAL GAMES NOWADAYS THIS IS NUTS!! Bub's Big Blowout is a 3D Platformer translation of Bubble Bobble and honestly, it rules! I genuinely think Taito should give them the resources they need to make this a real game cause this is SO high quality and it's just the demo! I don't even think the game is done. This seriously looks and feels amazing! Only issue is I couldn't get my controller to work with it, but if it did I think this would feel almost 100% official

Sonic Battle Rush - by FreeGilio

A 2D Sonic Fighter? Using Sonic Battle Sprites? And Shadow has a Mephiles alt? YES YES YES!! A 2D Sonic Fighting Game is basically one of my dream games, but surprisingly I haven't tried any of the dozen fan attempts at the concept... Until today! This demo only features Sonic and Shadow and 3 stages, but it absolutely RULES! Both characters feel fantastic and unique and have fully fleshed out movesets! I was even able to string together some goofy little combos by myself and overall it felt super satisfying to play. Also there's a ton of modes and even ways to loadout your characters such as having 2 at once or taking turns. So the demo has lots to do! I'll absolutely be keeping up with this game going forward!

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Today I just played some stuff that caught my eye from the SAGE 2023 trailer but I will try to play some more stuff as the year goes along! So if you have anything you think I'd like or if YOU submitted anything to Sage that you want me to look at just cause you want people to see your game? Why not, send that to me too!

There's so many amazing indie games it's genuinely hard to keep up with all of them. But SAGE is seriously becoming my favorite place to just discover new stuff or finally get to try things I'm excited for! Again I'm bummed it just kinda slipped my mind to try anything from last year but already we're not repeating that mistake. I encourage you to go try some stuff too if you have the time! Or at least just take a look at what's available! Everyone put in a LOT of hard work on these games!

[megamanrequests]

Very tiny robot boys, because you can’t go wrong with tiny robot boys.

EDIT: I also came across these two losers.

[wannabeschyulersister]

love bite

warnings: some spoilers and a lil suggestiveness at the end. 

gif is not mine. credit to owner. 

Sersi was the one that noticed it first. 

“(Y/n), did you hurt yourself?” She asked as she examined the small mark on the right side of your neck. 

“What? No, why?” 

“You have something right here.” Sersi pointed. 

You set your empty coffee mug down and grabbed your phone, turning the camera on and looking at what she was referring to. 

It was a huge love bite. 

That damn Druig! 

“Oh, I uh, I burned myself with my curling iron.” You lied. It wasn’t very original but it was the first thing that popped into your head. 

Sprite, who had been witnessing this whole encounter while eating her cereal, decided to chime in, “Your hair isn’t even curly.” 

You narrowed your eyes at her in annoyance, “Thanks for that, Sprite.” 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sersi was always the motherly type when it came to you and Sprite even though technically Sersi was a little bit older than you. 

“I’m fine. I promise.” You poured coffee into your mug and hurried out of the room before Sersi could ask you any more questions. You went into your bedroom where your sleeping lover was still sprawled out on your bed. 

If it were any other day, you would let him rest. Instead of being the nice girlfriend you normally were, you set your mug down on your nightstand, grabbed your pillow and whacked him on the head. 

“Wake up!” 

Druig groaned, “Why’d you just hit me?” 

“Because you left a mark on my neck last night, jerk!” You hit him again and he sat up to look at you. 

Druig rubbed the sleep from his eyes before he focused. He started smirking, “Wow, that’s a hell of a mark.” 

  You threw the pillow at him which he dodged so gracefully, “Why would you do that?!” 

“I don’t seem to remember you having any problem with it last night.” 

“I wasn’t in my right state of mind!” 

Druig got on his knees and moved to the edge of the bed where you were. He grabbed the middle of your shirt (well, it was actually his) and pulled you to him, “So, you’re saying I put you in a trance?” 

You slapped his bare chest playfully, “I’m so glad that you think this is funny. Sprite is never going to let me live this down.” 

Druig wrapped his arms around you, “You gotta admit that it is a little funny,” he chuckled, “I am sorry. I didn’t realize that I left this mark on your neck.” He rubbed the spot with his thumb lightly. 

You felt like your knees suddenly turned to jelly. The impact that man had on you was something that others wished they could experience. You were so lucky as was he. 

“I’m going to have to try and cover it up before the others come. I’m sure Sprite might spill the beans about it though so why bother, right?” The other members of the Eternals were planning on meeting at the apartment in London that you shared with Sersi and Sprite. It was sort of going to be a meeting of what’s next. There was a lot up in the air after the events that occurred on the beach not too long ago. 

It was the first time since everyone had split apart in the first place that no one knew what was going to happen. 

“I kinda like the idea that everyone is going to see it.” 

“Why?” 

“Because then everyone will know you are mine.” Druig winked at you. 

“Everyone already knows that. Even when we were separated all those years, they all knew who my heart belonged to.” You touched his cheek and he kissed the palm of your hand. 

“My heart belongs to you as well, love.” Druig said before capturing your lips with his. All of the anger that you had seemed to drift away. 

Druig’s lips left yours and immediately went back to the love bite. Before you could scold him, he kissed the mark lightly before kissing you again. 

“We should probably get ready for the day.” You said before things could get heated like the night before. 

“I’d much rather stay here a little longer.” Druig whispered into your ear before kissing the spot beneath it lightly. 

You knew that you didn’t have much time before you were completely under his spell. He didn’t need to use mind control to get you do what he wanted. 

“Druig….” You couldn’t even finish your sentence. His name came out of your mouth breathy and he smirked. 

“Don’t you think that we have a lot of time to make up for, my love?” 

You nodded as his hands slipped underneath your shirt and up your back, “Yeah, I uh, I think we do.” It was hard to try and formulate a sentence in that moment. 

“I can think of a few areas on your body that need some attention and also a love bite.”