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fancoloredglasses · 2 years ago

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The Saga of Starro the Conqueror [Part 2: The Call (Does Superman sound different to you?)]

[All images are owned by DC Comics and Warner Bros Discovery. I hope I’m too small-fry to sue...]

(All videos courtesy of The Night Beyond)

My last review featured a cameo of Starro, but what about the rest of the saga? You’ll have to fast forward a few decades to find out! If you would like to watch this episode, it’s available on HBO Max, or you can view it on Amazon if you breach the paywall.

We open in the futuristic version of...

Wait, no Daily Planet building in the skyline, or even the LexCorp building?

Instead, we have the Justice League’s Watchtower. Apparently it’s been knocked out of orbit a few too many times, so it’s been grounded and is a permanent fixture in the City of Tomorrow.

Inside, we see Micron (voiced by Wayne Brady, who was a regular on Whose Line Is It Anyway? and is the current host of Let’s Make a Deal), whose power is the ability to change his size (like Ray Palmer (AKA the Atom) in modern comics), in a training session when an alert comes in about an out-of-control monorail elsewhere in Metropolis.

Micron gets the driver (who tells Micron there’s only cargo aboard) to safety, but the monorail is headed for a passenger monorail (wait, why are 2 monorails on the same rail?!) Micron races to intercept it. Micron manages to disengage the monorail, sending it off the rail (hopefully there’s a body of water for it to land in and not an apartment building) However, when he’s about to jump to safety...

...the doors seal shut and the skin of the monorail is electrified! (wait, he can’t shrink to subatomic size and squeeze between atoms? That’s what Ray Palmer would’ve done)

Nope, not a body of water. I’m sure that building was unoccupied...right? Somehow, Micron survives this, but is critically injured.

Meanwhile in Gotham City...

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No, your ears aren’t deceiving you. That’s not Tim Daly voicing Superman, but is instead Christopher McDonald, who played Shooter McGavin in Happy Gilmore.

Rounding out the Justice League (the four in the above scene) are Big Barda (formerly one of Darkseid’s Female Furies), Warhawk (who is later revealed to be the son of Green Lantern John Stewart and Hawkgirl), Aquagirl, and Green Lantern Kai-Ro.

Later, Batman is reviewing the files of the Justice League when Aquagirl invites him for a swim. He politely declines, as he has some studying to do. As she leaves, Batman checks in on what the others are doing.

Barda and Warhawk are training...

Kai-Ro is meditating...

and...the viewscreen showing Aquagirl goes dark! Batman races to the tank to discover...

...the water is near boiling, cooking Aquagirl! He uses an explosive Batarang on the door to the tank, but it has no effect, so he races to the training area...

...and “borrows” Barda’s Mega Rod...

...to blow a hole in the tank, saving Aquagirl.

Warhawk and Barda lay into him for not simply calling them (give the guy a break; he hasn’t even had his New Member Orientation yet!)

Later, as Batman and Superman investigate the malfunction, Batman discovers one of the circuit boards was damaged in such a way that suggests...

I guess there is a traitor.

Later, while Batman is patrolling Metropolis...

Never a dull moment, is there?

Explosions occur all over the city and the Justice League mobilizes. As the team scours the wreckage for survivors, Superman tells Batman to help Warhawk with evacuating a skyscraper.

As they finish evacuating the building, Warhawk gets a strange signal on the Justice League emergency band and leaves to follow it. Thing is, Batman doesn’t hear it. Batman offers to help, but Warhawk brushes him off. Batman follows anyway and sees...

Warhawk activates his defensive armor, sealing him completely in, as he attempts to divert the missile. However, the missile explodes!

Later at the Batcave, Bruce goes over the footage and sees something that shocks him and Terry. It was detonated by a bean, and at its source...

Hope Bruce still has that Kryptonite!

I guess he does!

Well that took an unexpected turn! Why would Superman bring in the World’s Greatest Detective (and Batman) if he was the traitor? And how is this related to Starro (remember Starro? It’s the reason for this review!) Guess you’ll have to see part 2 (also available on HBO Max or pay Amazon for it)

Meanwhile at the Hall of Justice Watchtower...

...Batman takes his findings to the rest of the League. Barda isn’t convinced (and as someone who was raised on Apokolips propaganda, who can blame her?) Barda asks the question I posed after the cliffhanger (about Superman, not about Starro) Batman tries to reason with Barda in his own special way...

Needless to say, Barda doesn't appreciate that and decks Batman hard enough to send him across the room. Barda’s about to have herself some tenderized bat when Kai-Ro steps in and tells her to calm down.

But it’s not until an unexpected voice steps in that she does.

Warhawk managed to slip out of his costume as he armored up before the detonation (not sure when or how, as the camera was on him the whole time)

(Thanks to Deadpool)

It turns out Warhawk became suspicious when only he got the distress call.

Kai-Ro says they need to find out why Superman’s done this, but Warhawk wants to let his fists do the talking (I’m sure Barda would love someone to punch as well)

Meanwhile in the medical chambers, Superman starts fiddling with the controls regulating Micron’s recovery. The rest of the League confront him, but aren’t buying his story about “adjusting his treatment”.

When the League tries to reason with him, Aquagirl attempts a psychic link by touching Superman’s chest.

OH MY GOD, IT’S A FUCKING XENOMORPH!

OK, it actually isn’t but whatever it it retreats under Superman’s costume and moves around to his back as Superman attacks! Needless to say, Superman makes short work of the League (including making Batman drop the Kryptonite down an convenient drain) when...

Micron stops his treatment and distracts Superman long enough for Batman to fish out the Kryptonite, but before he can use it Barda blasts Superman with her Mega Rod, causing him to retreat.

The League guesses Superman retreated to the Fortress of Solitude, but no one knows where it is.

Well, almost no one.

In the comics pre-Crisis, it was only possible to gain entry into the Fortress with a key only Superman could lift (I’m sure you can already see the issues with this) In the Dini-verse, access was through a secret underwater channel (again, I can see a number of workarounds)

However, the League has access to technology from Apokolips thanks to Barda, including a means of teleportation known as Boom Tubes.

The League explores the Fortress in search of Superman, eventually finding the Preserver’s menagerie.

Then they find Superman (or, more accurately, he finds them)

Fortunately, it’s just a Superman robot (he uses them when he’s off-world or covering a story as Clark Kent)

A few more Superman robots attack, but the League makes short work of them. If only the real Superman was so easy.

Speaking of, guess who joins the party.

But before Superman can make some Bat-paste…

Superman quickly falls unconscious. Three guesses what’s been controlling him.

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First: What? No mention of Lobo?

Second: …oh shit.

Batman flees the Fortress with Superman in pursuit while the League prepares for Starro’s spawn to enter the world.

Fortunately, Bruce sent along the Batmobile.

Batman brings Bruce up to speed as Superman catches up with the Batmobile (guess it’s not “faster than a speeding bullet”…

…or “more powerful than a locomotive”)

However, Batman proves to be smarter than Superman (or at least Starro) by luring him into range of the Batmobile’s grapple…

…which happens to be electrified. This stuns Starro enough for it to lose its grip (and control) over Superman.

Superman doesn’t remember the last few years, so Batman gets him up to speed as he carries Batman back to the Fortress (this still doesn’t explain why he brought Batman in!)

At the Fortress, the League are preparing to let Starro’s spawn out when...

Somehow, the Starros aren’t observant enough to notice their parent not on his chest. Within moments, between heat vision and electrified Batarangs, all of the League is released from the Starros’ control.

Well, almost all of the League. Aquagirl swims down to open the gate to release the spawn with Batman in pursuit.

…and the Starros in pursuit of him, covering him with their bodies! At least the suit completely covers his so they can’t get touch his skin.

Unfortunately, they delay Batman enough that Aquagirl reaches the release mechanism.

So Superman attempts to block the drain the old fashioned way. Too Bad Aquagirl and Batman are still down there!

Harsh, but fair.

Finally, Batman is able to hit the control that electrifies his suit.

The resulting jolt goes through the water, hitting every Starro…

…including the one on Aquagirl. But it’s not enough to make it let go of her. She swims up to fight Batman (and if she’s anything like the rest of the Atlantians Batman’s not going to have a good time)

Fortunately, one of Superman’s drain-stoppers lands on them as the rest plug the opening before any Starros can escape. Aquagirl is knocked unconscious as Batman lifts the rock away and carries her to the surface.

Kai-Ro rounds up the rest of the Starros. But what to do with them? They’re definitely too dangerous to put back in captivity!

Aquagirl forms a psychic link with Starro to find out its homeworld and Barda Boom Tubes them there.

So everyone had a happy ending (except all the people who lost their jobs, became homeless, or were killed off-screen due to the monorail “accident” and the bombs)

As a result, the League offer to bring Batman in full-time (I thought that was what “Superman” offered at the start of this mess?), but Batman turns it down, preferring to be on-call.

Wait, is he gonna walk back to Gotham? Did he forget Superman trashed the Batmobile?

Anyway, that ends the Starro Saga. Please let me know if there’s another such saga you’d like to see.

#DC comics #Batman Beyond #superman #warhawk #big barda #green lantern #starro the conqueror #Fan Colored Glasses

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