#Shepard on the other end of the line: 'who is this'

[springagainafter]

Oops.

Turns out that if you do the chairman hostage quest before talking to Hackett for the first time, Hackett just calls Shepard up afterward without introducing himself at all.

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF TUCHANKA: TURIAN PLATOON

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Lt. Tarquin Victus With: Lt. Steve Cortez and The Ninth Turian Platoon Decisions like these weigh heavy on me- when I was a General, I could pass them up the chain of command. But now? I'm all I've got. I'm beginning to understand why leaders so often seem lonely... Worst case scenarios aren't just theories- they're what you'll be dealing with five minutes from now. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

[gloryofdawn]

Pretty much everybody on Tumblr seems to look at Garrus and be like, "Hm, yes, the optimal love interest." And that's fair! Garrus is great. Date him if you want.

But goddamn, have I just always had brainrot for Shepard and Garrus platonically. Their dynamic is just so flawless. I have never believed a game more when it has told me "These two people are best friends." They are the most found family siblings I've ever seen.

Every party member in Mass Effect 1 (who lives) goes on to achieve greatness above and beyond pretty much any party member introduced in subsequent games (except that I do specifically think the human party members are outstripped by Mordin), but you get to watch it happen with Garrus and Tali because they never leave you. Garrus starts off as "That loose cannon cop who signed on to help get Saren." After Shepard dies, he decides he's just going to casually end organized crime and is alarmingly successful. When Shepard shows up again, Garrus' reaction is to fucking shoot them and then joke about it when they finally make it to him. Shepard deflects Garrus' near death experience by calling him ugly. During his loyalty mission, you have the opportunity to have some absolutely raw conversations with him about ethics and morality that you don't really ever see with another companion except Jack, and she basically completely ignores everything you say until you see her in 3. With Garrus, he'll resist what you're saying, but you can see him trying to find the line between justice and revenge, law and chaos. If you put him in charge of the second team during the suicide mission, you can see how much he's grown with you as he effortlessly coordinates his team with yours. And all that is just in Mass Effect 2.

Once you get to 3, you really start seeing it. Garrus has made his way up in the Hierarchy and is leading their efforts against the Reapers, just like Shepard. When you ask him about it, he immediately starts talking about it as the shared work you've had since the first game. No other companion identifies themselves with you through this struggle. Sure, other companions will mention the previous games and what you did with them, but there's always something else. Liara is the Shadow Broker now. Tali has the Geth to worry about. The Virmire Survivor is bound up in the Alliance and becoming a Spectre. Wrex has the Krogan. But Garrus? Garrus is here with you. He's standing right next to you, giving the Reapers his full attention. And as you go throughout the game, he's consistently the one there for you. When you're struggling to get the Council Races to work together, he's there. When things go tits up on Thessia, he's there. Even you're going into the final run, he's there. When the two of you die, if Turian heaven is the same as human heaven, he'll meet you at the bar.

There is no Vakarian without Shepard. There is no Shepard without Vakarian. These two soldiers are bound together with blood, sweat, and the sheer Terminator-grade determination to save the galaxy, no matter how much it kicks and screams. There is no fire they won't jump into for the other one, and they'll make fun of each other the whole way. There's no other relationship like it.

I'm Glory of Dawn, and this is my favorite platonic ship on the Citadel.

[messydiabolical]

i’d once read a Mass Effect take that has been stewing in my melon ever since, about Wrex and him demanding a cure for the genophage during the war in 3. (I think it was on twitter but I can’t remember for sure. Just the idea of it stuck with me.) The general sentiment was that this was a dick move on his part, that there were “bigger problems” and this wasn’t the time and it was cruel and manipulative of him to put Shepard in that position. He should have helped out first and Shepard would have helped him back once the war was over. A lot of people chimed in agreeing, saying how they stopped liking Wrex after that. It bothered me for a bunch of reasons I didn’t feel I could adequately articulate, but i’m gonna try now. Prepare for my meandering thought style! The governing bodies of the Mass Effect Galaxy have repeatedly proven that they believe themselves superior to other species and know what’s best for everyone. They don’t let all species have a say in the council, always look out for their own species’ interests in so much as it pertains to keeping things as they are, and will happily go along with literal genocide to aid this. They approve of secret police and biological warfare espionage tactics. They weaponise bureaucracy to hide their cruelty behind ‘oh red tape has us bound, sorry uwu’.   I’m going to try to remain pertinent to the Wrex subject but as one great example of these governing bodies ways of dealing with percieved outsiders: The first contact war is a great example of how ludicrous and fascist things are.. ‘It’s ilegal to use this thing so we’re going to kill you for it’ without so much as a heads up. How were humans supposed to know that, exactly? The governing bodies of this place do not care about anyone outside their own self interests. Fall out of line and they will work to end you. Until you prove you might be useful or of interest to them in some way (or a threat). And then of course we later learn the asari were breaking these laws themselves, hoarding this tech to stay superior. Classic. Anyway, back to Wrex. Wrex knows this. Wrex has seen how the krogan are regarded and treated, the dangerous monolith species, outsiders who can never be let in, never forgiven, never given a chance to grow or change. For a long arse time. “But the krogan were getting out of control and also committing genocide, the genophage was a last ditch resort to stop a galactic war” … And it’s been hundreds of years since then. That 'last ditch resort' wasn’t used as a stop gap, a reset to even out the playing field so that new negotiations and relations could be developed. It was used to end the krogan, and has been actively maintained to continue that, ever since. Do you really, truly believe that if Wrex petitioned the council/ world leaders to negotiate reversing the genophage, they’d even let him have an audience with them? And if they did, do you really think these people, with their history and all the shit they pull, would listen and be reasonable? I can already hear the responses, that weaponised bureaucracy (“you raise an interesting point Mr Wrex but unfortunately we are recovering from a war don’t you know, please come back in 300 years for review, we are very interested in discussing this further then!”) Wrex is old, wise and knows exactly what is up. The only way the governing bodies of power were ever going to have a listen, was if he had something they needed. The war with the reapers provided that. And even then, he knew that they wouldn’t listen outright; having Shepard’s voice was a way to get the foot in the door. It makes my heart hurt to think about that honestly; how dehumanising (dekroganising?) it must feel to be the ruler of your people and know that you have to rely on your alien friend to even get someone to listen to you, when what you want to say is an extremely reasonable “hey committing genoicde against my people sucks, stop that now”. Anyway, Wrex was right, this was his one chance to save his people and he took it. Good for him.

[lassieposting]

Concept:

Archangel leaves a mark on pop culture on Omega. There's a multi-season vidset, or something, because the guy helped a lot of people and saved a lot of lives, and ended a lot of intimidation and exploitation, and Omega isn't exactly rife with heroes. It's a good story.

So there's a lasting media impression. Garrus laughs it off when it comes out - when the crew tease him about the CW-casting Ruggedly Handsome turian actor playing his alter ego, or the shoehorned-in kiss-kiss-bang-bang romance arc between "Archangel" and the asari crime queen of Omega, who's very clearly an Aria T'Loak analogue edited just enough that the real thing won't go hunting down the film crew. He tells Shepard the real stories that inspired certain episodes, with an abundance of dry humour and an unexpected level of self-deprecation. But she can tell it bothers him, because - the thing is, the vid portrays him as a lone wolf vigilante. And he wasn't.

Sometimes, the character will say a cliche line about doing better alone or his lifestyle being too dangerous to get close to others, and Shepard will glance over at Garrus and find him just. Staring into the middle distance, like he's not really there with her anymore, and she thinks, he isn't. Not really. He's back in that hideout, coming home to a massacre. He's draping sheets over the lifeless bodies of the friends who died horribly to protect him. He's remembering their faces, and realising that no one else ever will, even as they celebrate him - the one he ultimately holds responsible.

So she reaches out to her contacts in the media world, and manages to track down the people making the vid. It's not exactly hard, but it's time consuming - she gets in touch with the actor playing the lead on the extranet, he points her to the director, the director sends her to the writers, who send her to the studio, and then to the financiers. But she convinces them to change it. When the next season releases, Archangel starts meeting/recruiting his team.

And he never mentions it - at least, not to her - but she thinks that seems to ease something in Garrus. His team immortalised on the silver screen, given credit for their part in his story, portrayed as heroes for what they were trying to do.

(He doesn't watch the last few episodes - Sidonis' betrayal, the massacre, his desperate last stand against the united gang forces, the revelation that Archangel's body was never found. Neither does she. But she checks what viewers are saying on social media later on, and honestly, she hopes he does, too.)

((She thinks he could do with all the reminders that those deaths were not his fault))

[janewayintersection]

after the other shenkos ever so cruelly reminded me of the shared "are you flirting with me?" line shep and kaidan have in me3, i just need to cover my favorite things about it.

so there are like, two main flavors of shenko, right. the trilogy romance run and the me3 romance run. the "are you flirting with me?" line takes on different meanings with each one, and they're both so good.

with a previously romanced kaidan, it's funny because it takes on more of a silly "haha let's pretend we're new at this" joke. like "oh, we have to start from the beginning again, looks like we're back to basic flirting LOL". i know people say this line makes more sense with an unromanced kaidan, but i do really love the idea of it being a goof between the two of them as their relationship recovers.

while unromanced, you've got kaidan, who's been pining since me1, but has been dealing with commander "i'm married to my job. also i died and joined cerberus" shepard. and kaidan's genuinely just so fucking flabbergasted at the mere notion that 1. this seems to truly be the shepard he remembers and has feelings for, 2. that shepard might be into him and 3. that shepard is possibly flirting with him. and then once shepard repeats the "are you flirting with me?" line later, its a mix of this confidence boost, and the "fuck it, the world is ending" mentality that finally leads to kaidan flirting way more obviously and eventually deciding to take his shot. i love it. and like others have said, this could become an inside joke as well.

delicious. im eating the shenko parallels off the fucking floor as we speak. yum.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

In defence of Steve Randle

Listen guys, Steve Randle gets a lot of hate in this fandom and as much as it pains me, it's valid. Everyone has their own interpretation of the source material, and fandom is supposed to be fun, so it is absolutely valid and ok to hate or love any character you want. You can hate Steve for many reasons or for no reason at all! This is fandom! That's ok! The story is for you interpret and love and play with and hate on to your hearts content. HOWEVER, to say that Steve Randle isn't an important character to the novel is simply not true, and to say that he hates Ponyboy requires ignoring or downplaying some pretty key moments of the book. This is especially true for those of you who love Dally but hate Steve, because Steve gets a lot of hate for being kind of a dickhead (which lbr, a lot of seventeen years old are, especially to their friend's little siblings) while Dally gets less for doing a lot worse (harassing Cherry, jumping kids, etc). This isn't to say that either character is better- they're both great, nuanced characters who have done bad things, but the fandoms attitudes towards them when they share a lot of characteristics is really telling. Even Ponyboy's narration about them is pretty similar- Pony doesn't particularly like Steve, and he was canonically scared of Dally, but they're both members of his gang and he doesn't hate either of them. You don't have to like Steve as a character, just like you don't have to like Dally or Darry or Tim Shepard or even Ponyboy, but he is important- and he doesn't hate Ponyboy, nor does Ponyboy hate him.

A really important moment in the book is when Ponyboy and Johnny defend Dally after he harasses Cherry and Marcia.

"Dally's okay," Johnny said defensively, and I nodded. You take up for your buddies, no matter what they do. When you're a gang, you stick up for the members. If you don't stickup for them, stick together, make like brothers, it isn't a gang any more. It's a pack. A snarling, distrustful, bickering pack like the Socs in their social clubs or the street gangs in New York or the wolves in the timber."

This line here is super important. Pony and Johnny were willing to defend Dally after he sexually harrassed Cherry and Marcia- soc girls who they clearly liked and were intimidated by- in the name of being a good friend, because that is what's important to them and their gang. If they're willing to do it in this context for Dally, you'd best believe they'd do the same for Steve, and him for them. Steve can and will rag on Ponyboy within the gang, but he'd never dream of bad mouthing him to anyone else. Dependability is important to the gang, and Steve would never publicly shit talk Pony, and vice verca. Regardless of their squabbles within the gang, at the end of the day they've got each others backs. They're buddies. We see evidence of this at the end of the book, when Pony grabs the bottle and threatens the socs with it.

"You really would have used that bottle, wouldn't you?" Two-Bit had been watching from the storedoorway. "Steve and me were backing you, but I guess we didn't need to. You'd have really cut them up, huh?"

The important thing here is that along with Two-bit, Steve was backing Ponyboy, no questions asked. Sure most of it boils down to Pony being a member of the gang and that deep rooted loyalty to one another, but the context for this scene is that Ponyboy was sitting on Steve's car waiting for Steve and Two to stop flirting with some girls. The three of them were hanging out- without Darry, without Sodapop. It's their school lunch break. We know Ponyboy has middle class friend's at school, or that he could've spent time in the school library. It was a deliberate choice to hang out with Two and Steve. He wasn't forced into it. Canonically, Steve and Ponyboy hang out. Never alone, but they're decent enough friends to hang out together in a group. Doesn't everyone have friends like that? I do. This isn't the only textual instance either where they hang out without the entire gang being present. Early on, Pony offhandedly mentions that sometimes Steve and Soda will buy him pop and teach him about cars if he hangs around the DX.

"I had walked down to the DX station to get a bottle of pop and to see Steve and Soda, because they'll always buy me a couple of bottles and let me help work on the cars."

He could've just said Soda's name here but he didn't. Steve buys Pony pepsi and teaches him about cars, even though he gets annoyed with him when Soda invites him to hang around with them too often. And honestly, who wouldn't? I'd be annoyed if my best friend always invited her little brother along with us, even if I liked the kid. Wouldn't you?

Now, we do need to address the elephant in the room. I'm talking of course, about this quote;

"I'd never tell Soda, because he really likes Steve a lot, but sometimes I can't stand Steve Randle. I mean it. Sometimes I hate him."

I feel like very often people forget the context this quote comes from, and so it's magnitude is blown way out of proportion. Ponyboy has just been jumped and then immediately scolded by his brother who constantly makes him feel foolish and unwanted. He's already scared, embarassed, and defensive and then Steve goes and makes him feel even more unwanted. Of course he wants to lash out. Of COURSE he feels like he hates Steve in that moment. I did even reading it. But Ponyboy doesn't truly hate Steve. This moment is PEAK fourteen year old having a rough night energy, it's not truly representative of Steve as a character or of Ponyboy's feelings towards him. In truth, Steve actually kind of likes Ponyboy and is at very least protective over him. This is evidence by the previous quotes, but also when Ponyboy comes back from Windrixville, and is worried about the state placing him in foster care;

"'No, [Ponyboy said] 'they ain't goin' to put us in a boys' home.' 'Don't worry about it,' Steve said, cocksure that he and Sodapop could handle anything that came up. 'They don't do things like that to heroes.'"

It's subtle, and not immediately obvious to the traumatized fourteen year old who is used to Steve's cocky nature, but this is both a reassurance and a very bold claim. Not only is Steve trying to look out for Ponyboy the way the rest of the gang models- by treating him like a kid, letting the 'adults' worry about grown up issues in a misguided attempt to protect Pony- he is also throwing in his lot to make sure nothing does happen. Based on this quote and the rest of Steve's characterization throughout the book its not hard to infer that Steve would fight tooth and nail to make sure Ponyboy stays safe with his family. Sure, part of it is gang loyalty, part of it is his devotion to soda, but part of it is because he and Ponyboy are buddies in their own right, no matter how much they fight. They are friends- and Steve is an incredibly important character for many reasons, but particularly to add depth to Pony's character, to the bond between the Curtis gang, and to highlight how the Curtis gang differs from the other gangs in Tulsa. Steve is just as much an outsider as the rest of the gang, and it's disingenuous to say otherwise no matter how much you may hate him as a character.

[felassan]

Article/interview from Well Played: 'We chat with Mark Meer about finding a character’s voice, the everlasting love for Mass Effect and the allure of tabletop RPGs'

The interview is also available in video format: [link]

Excerpts:

"Mark: "Early in the process, we sort of came up with what is the core of Shepard, whether Renegade or Paragon, and that is a military officer who’s used to giving orders under pressure and maybe not necessarily showing that much emotion in the given scene, so that does help justify the path that we’re taking in terms of not having [discordant differences between Paragon and Renegade in any given conversation if a player was switching between these dialogue options mid-conversation]". -- Mark: "Then there’s is the final line of the Citadel DLC, which is, “Hell of a ride, Shepard”, and Shepard just responds, “The best,” and that was literally the final line that I recorded in everything that I ever did Mass Effect." -- Mark: "There was some stuff that I’d suggested that didn’t end up being followed because of other practical concerns. The Turians, specifically because of the structure of their mouths, I pitched that they should have a little clicking sound when they talk or at the end of sentences. This was before Garrus was going to be a main character in the game, so it was decided that it would get old very quickly because we have a Turian, so they ended up just going with a filter for a Turian." -- Mark: "We would usually do any Vorcha stuff at the end of the week, just to give your voice a whole weekend to recover because there was no particular technique, I was just screeching as loud as I could with a mouth half full of water." -- Interviewer: "You’re a frequent collaborator with BioWare, and they do have a game coming up in Dragon Age: The Veilguard, so can we expect to maybe hear your voice in the mix there?" Mark: "I am not in that game, but I look very much forward to playing it. I have been in a lot of the other Dragon Age games. Such significant roles as Lyrium Merchant and Red Templar." -- Mark Meer will be a special guest at PAX Aus 2024, running from October 11-13 at the Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre."

[source]

[feathersandblue]

I made a mistake

This. This is storytelling done right.

The thing is, if Shepard acts all paragon-y throughout the series then you don't get that admission from Mordin because he can just fall in line behind Shepard. Don't get me wrong, Mordin sacrificing himself in order to spread the cure is still an amazing act of repentence and a fantastic, if tragic, ending of his arc.

BUT the thing is, he doesn't have to admit that he was wrong, he can just agree with Shepard while still maintaining that his initial decision to modify the genophage was correct.

Doing the right thing, the heroic thing, the noble thing is something different entirely than admitting your were wrong and fixing your mistake.

His modification of the genophage was the one thing that defined Mordin's career like nothing else. Amazing work, from a scientific point of view, but morally questionable even when seeing "the big picture", Morally reprehensible and ultimately inexcusable when seeing "the little pictures".

It's clear that after his loyalty mission in ME2 and meeting Eve, he's already changed his mind. But he can't admit it, not really. It's easier to keep making excuses, to explain himself, to rationalize. The great Mordin Solus does not make mistakes.

And it's only when Shepard takes the other route that Mordin has to step up. If Shepard won't be paragon, then Mordin has to. And that's much harder and it's the most amazing, the most heartbreaking thing. And when Mordin yells at a Shepard who takes the pragmatist appprach - which is what Mordin did for most of his life - he's actually yelling at himself.

Mass Effect did a lot of things brilliantly. This was one of them.

If only Shepard's ultimate ending decision had come with the same depth and weight, characterization-wise.

[missalenkos]

Today, I was rewatching The Hunger Games and watching the love triangle between Peeta, Katniss and Gale got me thinking of the last lines of Mockingjay and one of the main reasons I love Shenko so much (yeah, there's a connection, I promise).

"On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself".

There are loads of differences between the situations and characters, I know that. I also know Shepards can be different personality-wise depending on the background we choose, if we tend more to paragon or renegade and so on. However, I still think they all share the fact that there's a huge responsibility on their shoulders and that they all will do whatever it takes to end the Reapers. Yeah, Paragon/Renegade Shepard will have different ways of going about that but, despite what our personal headcanons might be, the truth is that in-game, all Shepards end up working for Cerberus and destroying the Alpha Relay because that's what they think they NEED to do. We also talk a lot in fandom about how Shepard seems (maybe unknowingly) almost suicidal in the sense that they will throw themselves almost blindingly into anything because, again, that's what they NEED to do.

And, of course, it couldn't be any other way, because as Anderson says in the opening scene of ME1, that's the only kind of person that can protect the galaxy.

However, although they are special, the people surrounding them are almost as equally important and while, yes, it's great and necessary to have all kind of friends and companions, what they really need is a cornerstone, someone to hold the kite so they won't drift too far away, someone who can contain their fire so they won't end up burning. Being that cornerstone is not easy, because, sometimes it will mean saying "yes, let's freaking steal the Normandy" and "let's go on a crazy adventure", but sometimes it will also mean asking the hard questions, calling them on their bullshit or saying "lets stay home for dinner (because you need to get some actual rest)".

And that's Kaidan. No one could be that cornerstone better than him because he's thoughtful, caring, gentle, capable, straight forward but ready to own his mistakes, has himself already sorted out and has his own moral compass.

People like to hate him for this, but I'm 100% convinced that it's actually what Shepard needs in the long-run.

Actually, he's the only companion that was hand-picked by Anderson, and I'm sure he knew exactly what he was doing there by having him in the same crew as Shepard.

And, well, that's it. Just another reason to love our canadian biotic brought to you by Katniss Everdeen 🤷🏻‍♀️

[sweetsmalldog]

I’m so excited to see where q!Bad goes. Because he’s accepted that he has to embrace all the rage and violence he’s been swallowing for who knows how long back into his heart to get his children back. He has to once again become the creature that he once was to get his children back. He can’t think about innocents in the Federation, not when he knows what he has to do. Everyone in the Federation is culpable until he has his children in his arms safe and sound. And if he doesn’t get that well it’s not the first time he’s sunk an island.

And that doesn’t even take into account how quietly he’s been treated different than other people, allowed to get away with more. Foolish was scolded for trying to arrest him, he’s the only person the black signs have ever praised, he was allowed to drag Cucurucho around on a lasso with only a single gunshot as punishment and it was never brought up again. A special guest with an innate connection to everything they want to harness. A being that lives in the line between Life and Death as it’s Shepard. How far will the Federation let him go? They seem to know more about him then he’s said? How far can Bad push before the Federation has enough? Do they know the story of Atlantis’s fall? Do they know they’ve invited its end into their home and if so what is worth that risk?

[whatevertheweather]

Hi hello. I miss y'all. That is my own fault but it's still true, and I'm writing this on saturday night and feeling maudlin about how wonderful and talented and dear this fandom is and how I never join in anymore, so I'm making my little post okay.

I'm going with Musical Chairs again because it's so far past time for that to be done. And I've said this before, but it is approaching done. And I'm gonna get into that, but it'll all be behind the scenes rambling, so it's below the cut, and for those who don't want to delve that far, here is some freshly written Penny POV.

“Ah,” Shepard smiled, “a good deed wasn’t motive enough on its own?” “Not when it’s for a stupid reason.” “What is your un-stupid reason?” “Un-stupid?” Penny repeated. She turned resolutely to her drink. “Nevermind. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” “Hey now,” Shepard said, ducking into her line of sight. “You struck me as someone who prefers being honest.” It was a job not to smile at that, but Penny put the work in.

Now for the mess.

It's a good mess I think. I have a new section in my miscellany document, tucked in between nine (9) sections of ramblings and cut scenes, and the new section is called "we got it this time boys," and I think it's right. I've written a full draft of the scene that's been holding us all back. It's there in its entirety, it just needs to be edited. And I'm so scared to reread it, because every time I think I got this scene right I come back and it's wrong. Which I've decided to be fine with, because so what!!! So what if I got 36k right and there's 5k that doesn't quite hit the way I want it to!!! The earth will keep spinning!!!

Anyway, "we got it this time boys" is 3 pages of what is technically kind of an outline for 5 pages of story, and every time I read the header it's in the voice of someone from some black-and-white hardboiled detective noir, which brings me the joy that might be the only reason I feel I've gotten it right in the first place. The outline is all written about as cohesively as it starts:

I think maybe, and gosh haven’t I said this a million times, I just need to stop trying to go that way. Stop trying to go any way. Like always “how do I get them to this moment” instead of “what would they do in this situation.” Unfortunately, the latter requires I connect with them on a level I’m not sure I can right now. But I guess let’s try. Actually let’s go for a walk, I can see the sun setting on the top of the house across the way and it’s lovely. Okay nice, it was lovely. Relaxing, refreshing. Saw a stump that looked like a beaver. Saw a cat. Thought of the opening to something I’m never going to write. So anyway,

It also sort of ends with:

Oh shit came up on an obstacle immediately. [Redacted]. This does not actually open the door for Baz to say something that can incite “[Redacted].” Fuck god okay whoops already going completely back on all I’ve decided and thinking maybe we could keep some of the new exchange I’d written, maybe he does reveal the ugh no stop I hate this. Just figure out a transition to bring in [...], what would Baz say to that other than what I’ve written him saying to that which doesn’t work for what I’m trying to do. I guess it could just be, like…he murmurs incorrigible. Or something. With a raised brow, a la baz. Sure let’s do that, however, I’ve laid down to do this and learned I’m actually quite sleepy, so let’s do it another time. Hopefully I don’t come up on another immediate problem and despair. Just remember not to start combining things and rereading things yet, okay. Please.

This would be alarming if I hadn't already gotten past this point and written the thing. So I'm going to go into editing it with the mindset that nothing substantial shall change and boohoo to me if I want it to, and once that's done we're pretty much home free.

Now tags.

Gonna dip a toe back into being melancholy and wistful about this fandom k, I really do miss it even though I'm the only one keeping me out. You're all my friends even if that is a surprise for you to hear because we haven't talked in months or maybe ever, but I love each and every one of you x

@fatalfangirl @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @moodandmist @cutestkilla @artsyunderstudy

@bookish-bogwitch @aristocratic-otter @mooncello @noblecorgi @alexalexinii

@rimeswithpurple @ivelovedhimthroughworse @basiltonbutliketheherb @whogaveyoupermission @facewithoutheart

@martsonmars @iamamythologicalcreature @run-for-chamo-miles @thewholelemon

@forabeatofadrum @youarenevertooold @ileadacharmedlife @monbons

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

Hello! After a holiday hiatus, I am returning to @bengiyo's queer cinema syllabus. We will be ringing in the new year with Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley, the totally light-hearted, definitely not agonizing section of the syllabus where I get to watch countless acts of violence be committed against queer people. That fuck I have Lesbians waiting for me at the end of this unit. The films in Unit 4 are: Bent (1997), Strange Fruit (2004) [cannot for the life of me find this film], Boys Don’t Cry (1999), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Parting Glances (1986), Philadelphia (1993), The Living End (1992), Holding the Man (2015), Jeffery (1995), and Boys on the SIde (1995)

Today I will be writing about 

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

[Run Time: 2h 14 min, Lang: English] 

Summary: “Ennis and Jack are two shepherds who develop a sexual and emotional relationship. Their relationship becomes complicated when both of them get married to their respective girlfriends.” -imdb

Cast: * Jake Gyllenhaal as Jack Twist *Heath Ledger as Ennis del Mar (Rest in Peace)

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Okay, so unsurprisingly Brokeback Mountain is one of seven of the movies on this syllabus that I had seen before I embarked on this project. I watched it for the first time in 2021 and walked away from it with two images in my head: Jack and Ennis’ reunion kiss and Jack getting his face bashed in with a tire iron. This film is in Heartbreak Alley for a reason and that’s because it is fundamentally depressing as fuck. Jack and Ennis are stuck in unhappy marriages, lonely all their lives, struggling to carve desire out of a life that does not let them have it. Ennis ends up alone, and Jack ends up dead and these things are important. Ennis slipped out of his role as attentive father and doting husband the second Jack walked back in to his life, Jack kept breaking his own heart by daring to dream of the life that he wanted. 

A life he was denied. 

I want to mention these tragedies up front because I want primarily to talk about something else in this film. But i do not want to just push past the violence here. This is probably something other people have heard, it was definitely something I was told by the person who recommended this film to me the first time. But the way Jack dies, the way Earl dies, these are both similar to the way that Matthew Shepard died. Matthew Shepard was kidnapped, pistol whipped, tortured, and tied to a fence in Wyoming for being gay and was so brutally beaten his entire face was covered in blood. Jack was beaten to death with a tire iron on the side of the road, Earl was brutally tortured and left in a ditch. These men are not just killed, but brutally, violently, torturously murdered for being queer. 

That said, this movie felt so different to me the second time I watched it and I am so amazed to see how much I truly missed my first time around. I was younger, freshly queer, and did not have anywhere close to the extensive queer media viewing history I do now. It is wild to me to see how I have grown in my engagement with media after spending a year writing about body language. Because this film is so fucking brilliant, like legitimately intelligently crafted in it’s displays of gay politics. Maybe this is stuff that I picked up on subconsciously the first time through because I never found the movie boring despite it being rather slow. But this time? My brain was buzzing at how expertly crafted the dialogue and body language was around trying to be safe while being queer. 

I am thinking of the way that Jack sizes Ennis up at the beginning, Jack’s posture as he leans against his truck the first time they meet. I’m thinking about the line “Mr. Augirre’s got no right making us do something against the rules” when you consider that queerness is very much against the rules at that time and in that place. The way Ennis refuses to let Jack be gentle with him at first, tending his own wounds, staying distant and quiet, until he doesn’t.

Maybe it’s just because of how much I’ve watched The Sign drift further away from the hyper-masculinity aspect of their story, but I could not stop thinking about the delicate dance that is required to navigate the growing feelings and sexual relationship between these two extremely masculine men. I started looking and I think there are about three times in the entire movie where Jack and Ennis are soft with each other. The first is on Brokeback the second time they have sex, and Ennis is struggling and just rests his head on Jack’s chest before going in for a kiss. The second is when they are cuddling in bed at the motel after their first reunion. The third is the scene after Ennis tells Jack he won’t be able to see him again until November. That’s it. Otherwise they aren’t touching, or when they are touching they are rough, rough housing, rough kissing, rough fucking it doesn’t matter. 

Ennis says he isn’t queer and Jack says he’s not either, but they fuck and then they are drawn to one another for the rest of their lives, because there is no one who could get it like they do. Ennis isn’t lying when he tells Jack that is the most he’s spoken in a year. Ennis is a lonely man. Ennis is a rural, hyper-masculine rancher he does not have emotions, not anymore, if he ever did. Whatever conscious or subconscious queerness he had undoubtedly shriveled and died the day he was shown Earl’s body. And that, I think, is part of why Ennis is just constantly drawn to Jack, why his face lights up when he sees Jack, why he throws such caution to the wind upon their first reunion. 

Ennis does not need words for Jack to understand him. Jack is also a rural, hyper-masculine rancher. He gets it in a way that Alma never will. The violence they bestow upon each other, Jack understands why Ennis would lash out. The need to escape in to the mountains, Hack understands why Ennis needs it. It’s just so smartly written. Ennis so unmoored from his own feelings that his body physically rejects them when he and Jack separate for the first time. The way he has to suck it in, suck it up, pretend like he’s unfazed, unaffected, until the minute he has a chance to be out of eyesight, and then he just collapses retching, sobbing, punching walls. 

And then he’s able to separate himself from his emotions once more, he marries Alma, he stays lonely, he does his duties, until Jack comes calling. I think I remember a story about how the first kiss that Heath and Jake have when Ennis and Jack are reunited, their faces slammed together so hard one of them almost broke a nose. And that is how 90% of Ennis and Jack’s relationship is. Those emotions come back and then Jack is leaving again, and Ennis just starts to crumble. 

I could not stop thinking about the dialogue in this film Mr. Aguirre’s carefully chosen words when he is telling Jack exactly why he isn’t hiring him for another season, the way Jack tries to suss out if the man sitting next to him at the bar after the rodeo is queer and down to fuck, how that man picks up on it, rejects him, and how quickly Jack gets the fuck out of the bar afterwards. The inherent understanding of what being invited to the cabin means in that conversation with David Harbor’s character. GOD, it’s just so well done. 

Favorite Moment 

To continue on the subject of incredible code work in this movie, my favorite scene is when Ennis goes to visit Jack’s parents to try to get Jack’s ashes so he can spread them on Brokeback Mountain. How without ever saying anything directly, Jack’s parents are able to convey that they know the reason Jack died, what Jack and Ennis were to each other, and that they accept Jack and accept Ennis was just beautiful. The way she lets Ennis go up to Jack’s room, Ennis finding the shirts, stained with blood because that’s what it is to be queer, Jack’s mother letting Ennis take those with him, Jack’s father saying: “We’ve got a family plot. He’s going in it.” as Ennis is about to walk out the door, Jack’s mother saying: “You come back and see us again” and not have either of those things feel like a threat or a trap? It was incredible. 

Favorite Quote

Hmm, I know we have the two famous quotes, but it’s hard to pick a favorite line because there is so little dialogue in this film considering it is over two hours long. I think I am going to go with the last line of the movie:

“Jack, I swear”

Cause it made me cry. Alma Junior pays a visit to her father to let him know she’s getting married, and she drives away forgetting her coat, and Ennis opens his closet (intense staring at the visual commentary) and he buttons the top button of Jack’s shirt, and he swears to Jack and to me that feels like a wedding vow. 

Score 

10/10 This film is gorgeous, just utterly beautiful all around. The cinematography, the script, the commitment and the care the actors give to these characters, to the subject. I am so glad this was on the syllabus so I had this opportunity to revisit this film. I got a whole lot more out of it as a result.

[sol-consort]

Omg, I don't know if you remember, but that shepard cam girl/streamer au you did, I absolutely loved it!! I loved Shepard being so nonchalant about being tits-out in front of the crew, also them passing around the video and being embarrassed about making eye contact with Shep. You killed me!! That was so good

Oh god, this one? I wrote it while half asleep, didn't expect anyone to read it. I just checked it over again–damn the amount of typos. I fixed as much as I could rn. Hopefully, it reads smoother.

But yes! I still adore the concept and would love to expand upon it.

The army life + staying on a ship in the middle of the galaxy and sharing space with your crew has got to result in a lot of accidental nudity and flashing situations. Someone new on warships–like Tali or Liara might find it surprising, feel a bit more shy, while someone like Shepard, who was the Normandy second in command during Captian Anderson days got used to it by now.

Or maybe it's a human army thing? Quarians can't strip for first aid because it will only worsen the situation, Krogans have their thick skin and shells, and Turian skin has metal outer plating.

Only humans are this squishy, easily injured, easy to tear into. Mix that with the fact that we have a pretty good immunity system that gives us high tolerance to different microbiomes and the most genetically diverse genes in the Mass Effect canon–Mordin mentions it in ME2—it's not hard to understand why a human soldier would nonchalantly strip on an alien planet, in the middle of the battlefield, just to ensure the wound is treated properly.

But it's still hot—Shepard's total disregard to having your tits out on full display, chest heaving with every breath. Your crew desperately trying to maintain eye contact and not get distracted by the way your bare tits bounce with every powerful command and order you bark at them.

Biotics grant people healing abilities, at least ingame. It's not strange for someone like Kaidan or Liara to act as an emergency medic while on the battlefield.

Kaidan attempts to stay professional, stuttering more than usual as the raspiness in his voice becomes more apparent courtesy of his dry throat.

The tips of his ears reddish, summoning all of his will to keep his finger study as he pressed against your wound with the disinfected pad. Having to lower himself into your naked form, his clothed chest almost fully pressing against your own. The hiss you let out as your nipples touch the cold metal surface of his armour—it almost makes his heart jump out from his ribcage–barely remaining collected by the end of it.

Sneaking one lustful glance at your still exposed chest on the shuffle ride back to the Normandy before forcing himself to look away, feeling ashamed of his actions, excusing himself to his own sleeping pod the second the crew is back on board.

-

Anyway, so streamer Shepard hmm.

Miranda would quickly catch wind of this open secret and become your number one patron under a fake pseudo name. She keeps toning in each stream, even if she's working, simply setting the tablet on the table while she files the papers away. Dropping big stacks occasionally whenever you do something she likes, using the carrot method to subtly get you to act more and more slutty, exactly how she likes it.

Samara convinced herself that as long as she only watches—no touching herself, no writing a comment, no sending any money–then it's basically okay and doesn't break her code. She does, however, pay attention to your frequent commenters, checking their profiles, tracking their other socials... just in case one of them crosses the line. It is her job to make this world a safer place for everyone, right?

Thane–oh god, poor Thane. His own Siha...? Humans sure are uh... more adventurous than he thought they were. Drells are moved by emotions and romantic feelings more than sexual ones. He has very little interest in pornagrophy in any form of media because he just can't get off to a stranger, someone he doesn't love. But once he discovers that it is you in those videos, his commander Shepard, his siha. A flood of emotions wash over him. It becomes a boderline addiction.

Thane especially knows about the common human prono trope of fucking a drell because of the skin acting as both a stim and an aphrodisiac. He wonders if you'd be open to...having him on the stream for that? Just to boost your views...no other reason :) Definitely not to sate some deep primal instinct within him, the need to state his claim by fucking you in front of all of your adoring fans, he is such a tender gentle soul, he would never have those possessive thoughts, right?....right?

The poor guy almost voices this suggestion out each time you come over for a little chat.

Jack would be your top commenter, not even under a fake profile or a different name. Straight up Jack with her own profile picture to boost. Spewing filth and ordering you around like her own personal whore. Of course you don't pay her any mind and only oblige her requests after you make her beg.

Garrus wants to join you so badly. Picture this, the first ever human/turian streamers ever since the war! It will be a hit with both planets. Your profile will skyrocket in popularity. Especially if this is in ME1 where the human-turian intergalactic relationship was still strained and tense. Meditate the tension between your civilisations by letting him stuff you full with his gaint blue glowing cock <3 huh huh!? A million credit worth idea right?

[pumpkinsy0]

Tips on how to write Curly,Tim, and Angela Shepard??

asking MEEEE how to write the shepards??? im rubbing my hands together evilly i feel so honored to b asked this thank u sm<33

BUT, here r some important characteristics for their characters i think could help for writing em!! ill try to focus on things that r like, skimmed passed??? in fics??idk how to explain it

tim

-tim is a cool and collected guy, at most hes scarily calm!!! he has a good head on his shoulders and hes not ignorant to the problems in his life, and almost nothing gets past him, he knows whats wrong w his family and is very observant of it, unlike angela and curly. when it comes to tim, make sure things like his inner monologue and his movements is pretty composed and self controlled. when he thinks, he doesnt think half way, hes an analyzer and he dissects the world around him and tries seeing it for what it truly is, he doesnt let his emotions control him.

-he will always, ALWAYS, have his guard up!! even if its w small things like glancing around, always having back up plans, asking questions about before he even hangs out w em, etc etc, he can never be too sure, and he LIKES being informed, it bothers him so much if hes not, so hes always looking out. on top of that, on a regular ass day, i dont think hes OBVIOUSLY protective of angela and curly, he knows how they get when they feel cornered so he kinda???lets them do whatever???? tim being protective comes off as someone whos more annoyed than anything, other than someone who loves their family

for example he says things like: “i already said no, stop asking”, “didnt i tell u to bring ur blade with u”, things like that!!

-and finally, i think the only way u could actually get tim to b emotional, is if something happened to angela or curly. theyre literally his life lines, if it wasnt for them, he wouldve booked it half way across the country already. tim would be way more hostile and aggressive, its like hes coming apart, but thats rlly only when hes alone, out in public hes still pretty stoic but still agitated a bit more easily. everything he does at the end of the day is for them and while it may not seem like it, hes always thinking of them.

ps: hes quite honestly a lone wolf, he doesnt rlly have friends, ppl he hangs out w, ofc but friends??? eh, hes perfectly fine w being left alone w his own life, but thrives off of being around ppl bc he can use them to his advantage to further himself, but i dont say that in a “mwahahahah hes so manipulative and stone cold hearted😈” way

basically: for writing tim, make sure hes always coming off as a leader, hes always gonna have leadership qualities in whatever he does, so even the small things he does is important, it doesnt matter hiw small u think it is, if u feel like it shows his character, just add it in there. tim does have his limits, and its always gonna b curly and angela. kinda like darry, how he shows how he cares is just different and not understood, however for tim its to a higher degree.

NOW FOR CURLY☝🏽☝🏽

-im not gonna sit here n say that hes book smart, bc generally speaking, hes not, and this may b a bit controversial, but i dont think hes 100% street smart either!!! BUT hes not completely DUMB. while yes, hes not particularly smart in one aspect, hes not CLUELESS, he can grasp complex things and knows what to do, just not everything. ppl undermine him and overplay his stupidity so theyre surprised when he shows that he can b smart, and thats if they DO even realize that, its small when he shows hes smart, but he can have his moments, pls dont write curly as completely incompetent</333

for example: maybe tims trying to come up w a plan and bc curly knows the schedule of these ppl, hes actually a big help, but ppl just dont pay attention to how important that part of the plan was so they dont realize it, maybe ponys ranting to curly about something, and curly got pony to see another side of it he never rlly thought of before, but bc of how he said it, it doesnt “come off as intelligent” but it rlly is!!! i hope this made sense😭

-part of the reason of why he acts out is bc he looks up to tim, but hes not seen as smart like tim OR angela is, hes constantly compared to them both and while he loves being a shepard and loves his siblings, he wants to b seen as his own person and make something of himself!!! this however, can get him into trouble bc hes desperate to prove himself, to who??? to himself, to tim, and to a degree everyone else. im not gonna say curlys “all bark, no bite” bc he isnt, but he can definitely talk more than what he can rlly deliver and that gets him into shit as well and also thats what causes ppl to play up his stupidity. curly is pretty misunderstood and pushed to the side!!!

-i would say that curly being around others is important to write bc i feel like thats when he truly flourishes as a character. hes way more energized and pumped up, so when u write about curly around friends or whoever hes close to, make sure hes more relaxed, boisterous, and adventurous. however, when hes upset, id say hes sorta like tim, his eyes r the same, bit more analytical, and he uses the ppl around him. becomes less of a friend, more like a leader, hes not all buddy buddy, and if they try to joke around w him while hes mad, he pushes them away, tells them to shut up, its like a complete 180.

-if u wanna write about curly going through something, i feel like its important to realize that hes in denial about the problems in his life, not ignorant about it, its pretty in his face, its not like he cant say its not there, but hes just like “yea its bad, but its not THAT bad, i could push through it”, i think thats his way of coping w everything around him, but when hes pushed far enough and forced to come to terms w it, he does some irrational things to cope and turns to drinking

and last but definitely not least, my main girl angela

-she NEEDS to b around ppl, she THRIVES off of the attention of others and if she doesnt get it, shes on edge, she rlly doesnt like being left alone w her thoughts and needs something to distract her. and just like how curly and her r tims life lines, same could b said for curly and tim w angela. she needs her brothers as her support, and if they arent there, she tries to find it in other people, even if its only for a few weeks. bc of this, when it comes to this part of her character, in writing, id say that if u rlly want to make angela go through it, but for her problem to b solved, she goes to either tim or curly, BUT if u want to show that shes really desperate to b heard out, and she feels trapped in a corner, she tries to find comfort in someone else, usually through a romantic relationship. id say that it perfectly shows that for angela, her family means everything to her and she goes to them, BECAUSE she knows they have her back, but when she goes to try and find comfort in other ppl, it doesnt rlly work out or doesnt change, so shes just reminded that “at the end of the day, all u have us ur family and nobody else, ever”, which is a huge thing in her mind as thats just how shes grown up

•now, im sure we all see the shepards as poc, and considering this is the 60s (or 70s or whatever time period it rlly doesnt even matter, poc have never rlly been respected), i think to a degree, angela is sexualized, but its also a way she protects herself. i dont think angela is respected and thats for a multitude of reasons, its bc shes a woman, shes a shepard, and shes a poc, cards r pretty stacked against her. BUT, shes not clueless☝🏽, tim taught her from a young age about the world around her, bc he NEEDED to, its to SAVE her from getting taken advantage of. so to protect herself, she uses the things stacked against her, against em, she knows how hard it is to fight it, so why fight it when u can use it to help u is the way she sees it. and her being sexualized is just one of those things. angela in town is seen as “the forbidden fruit” ig u could say and she knows about it, so she uses the way how ppl see her as an object to use them as her puppet. they dont think shes aware so they dont rlly suspect much from her, hell, they dont even think she can fight, and theyre wrong w that. they just see her as an “easy” girl and if thats what they think, so be it, she’ll fuck w em one day, thats just her survival tactic and how she can survive. as far as this one goes, id say that its important to understand how the ppl around her interact w/see her, as that can help u understand what her next course of action will b, she NEEDS people in order to further herself, shes like tim in that aspect. however it will also somewhat impact how she sees herself, at the end of the day, shes still vulnerable but she doesnt let on, shes spent such a long time trying to cultivate how she wants ppl to see her and she doesnt want that ruined, she’ll do anything to keep that intact, ESPECIALLY lying. so if u want to write her coming loose emotionally, dont add small hints of it when shes in front of other ppl, MAYBE only when shes in front of tim or curly u can do that, if u wanted. in front of other ppl, she hardens up and comes off a little more smarter than she lets off, so she CAN b scary, and thats when ppl remember that shes a shepard. shes too grown for her own good but she just wants control in her life.

-speaking of her life, like curly, shes in denial about the things in her life, but its more so about how they impact HER. she knows their life is completely fucked, she knows how bad it is, but she just says it just doesnt hurt her as much, and to a degree, shes right, but then again, some days r harder for her than others, so while yes, shes vulnerable, this doesnt mean that she cant handle what tim and curly go through, shes not fragile, and i think thats important to remember, shes tough!!!she has to b, she will bite back if she has to. dont JUST write her in high school dramas, she has to deal w some of the gang issues curly goes through, while not AS much, its still there

-ANNDDDD FINALLLYYY, when it comes to angela, while yes, she is analytical, but she can let emotions drive her sometimes, and thats potentially her downfall, shes a pretty impatient person, so when she wants results, she wants it FAST, and it agitates her deeply if things dont go her way, some leadership qualities from tim rubbed off on her, she acts more like tim while curly looks more like him. when it comes to her inner dialogue, u should have a comfortable mix of her being observant and her having a bitttt confident and self assured, let her b a lil cocky!!!

i hope this helped u at least a little bit<3333

[yaeggravate]

brief post about kaeya's potential future arc (or why 5 star kaeya will totally happen 🔮✨️)

so something i noticed is that kaeya always removes or distances himself from the end of any situation he's in. (it's much more noticeable in his hangout).

first is crepus's death. he hangs back and doesn't get involved in his final moments.

kaeya disappears in the final section of the ballads and brews event. you can find and talk to every character except him.

in the venti route of his hangout, kaeya stays back when it's time to sing with everyone. venti then drags him back in. (what's odd is that venti didn't even notice he was gone at first 👀 "now you see them, now you don't")

Kaeya: Slipping away before the final verse is sung, before the poet has uttered the last line, before everything has concluded… I don't know, something about it just resonates with me.

klee says kaeya hasn't read her the end of the book series the fox and the dandelion sea yet, which is about a guy stuck in a loop. in somewhat the same vein, in the secret summer event, he tells her a story about the jinni and a shepard boy but changes the ending from what we know from the in game book…

and then we have the prince qubad play, where he quietly exits after it ends. he explains why himself (through nahida's auge):

(Use Nahida's All Schemes to Know on Kaeya, optional) Kaeya: (I always like to extricate myself before things start getting tedious.)

in the same route, kaeya quotes the character jaques from shakespeare's play as you like it

Kaeya: Let me think... "All the world's a stage, and all the people merely players."

which is very fitting considering, quote the wiki:

Jaques takes no part in the unfolding of the plot, and confines himself to wry comment on the action and exchanges with his fellow characters.

he also silently does things for others without wanting to take credit, i.e. being rewarded.

and i think i know why 😏

in his character story, kaeya is referred to as a chess pawn in CN, he then repeats this in his hangout.

Kaeya: But I shall not bow to the will of fate. I am no pawn in heaven's plan.

further emphasizing it's not a random throw away term.

i'm neither chess expert nor chess amateur. but anyone can pull up a wikipedia page 😤

pawns are the only pieces that can't move backward, pawns can get promoted to another piece when they reach the end of the board, and… pawns are expandable, made to be sacrificed for the kingdom.

he even expresses the desire to age backwards….which pawns can't do of course.

A very simple such analogy is the Pawn — the expendable, powerless, nameless foot soldier who may, if his actions are brave and his heart is true, become a Queen (although someone more practised at the game may note that the pawn is really a symbol of why you should never overlook apparently powerless people).

that sounds exactly like kaeya's situation, doesn't it? many people have questioned why kaeya is a 4 star given his importance to the main plot, but i think it could be a deliberate narrative decision. (at least i hope it is 😬)

if kaeya is a pawn he can be promoted to a queen when he reaches the end…. except kaeya doesn't want to, as demonstrated by his unwillingness to see things through till the end.

why would he do this?

simply put, it's foreshadowing 😏

kaeya will have his character arc eventually, where the only sensible path is accepting that he must reach the end because pawns cannot stay pawns forever

Promotion is mandatory when moving to the last rank; the pawn cannot remain as a pawn.

there is some sick sense of irony in him declaring he won't be heaven's pawn, when a pawn can only stop being a pawn by moving forward.

i think kaeya's birthday letter about tcg of all things is also hinting at his arc:

If you think about it, playing cards aren't easy at all — you gotta do the math before throwing the dice, and be extra careful with your every move. One step wrong, and the whole table is turned. When that happens, don't you think it's most amusing to watch your opponent's frustrated face, hmm?

(uh oh, celestia 🤭)

say he does reach this metaphorical last rank, what would that look like for him? gameplay wise it would mean a promotion to 5 star status. story wise? a magical girl transformation into the second coming of fischl.

haha ok but, unfortunately i doubt it's that simple.

something else that has been foreshadowed is kaeya's eventual fate…

Traveler: What did you think of the story? Kaeya: It was alright. I suppose the hero always has to sacrifice himself to save others, and it does make for some good storytelling. But it leaves you wondering how he really feels about the whole thing. Did he ever have second thoughts? Only he can know, I suppose.

Kaeya: My dear audience, I ask you this: Do you believe in fate? If fate decreed that your life was to end in tragedy, what would you do?

Kaeya: I, Qubad, will spend the rest of my days in a foreign land, till I breathe my last in a place far from home.

Kaeya: And anyway, life is short, so we should make the most of the time we have. Right now is the perfect time to relax and enjoy ourselves, and who knows how many other chances we'll get. So come on, what do you say?

Fallen I 还没尽…兴… Haven't enjoyed...to the fullest...

When It's Windy 真是和平啊、可又能持续多久呢？ How peaceful, but how long can it last?

Traveler: Good night, Kaeya. Kaeya: Is it that time already? I'm not sure I'm ready to say goodbye.

let's face it, these are death flags. no, kaeya is not going to perma die, but this might be what he has seen through the Auge der Verurteilung and why he's so reluctant to reach the ending of his story.

but in order to defy fate and become a 5 star you have to throw yourself into the embrace of the immernacht first 😈