#She is so proud of her bar menu lol

[moonilit]

Tifa’s doodles, with Cloud knowing full well she is an excited chief ✨

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

oooh that one Anon was onto something lol, could you please do more David x Reader x Star?

No matter what way you fall asleep, whether it's hanging upside down, sleeping a part - in the morning all three of you are cuddled together.

If human food is on the menu, and David had his way the only human thing all three of you would eat was Chinese food.

Star is not a big fan of it, so she (and you) decided that rolling a dice to decide what you were going to eat was more fair. Six meant Chinese, any other number meant a free choice for you and Star,

It worked until David had a weighted dice that always ended at the six

It took the two of you a week to figure it out

None of the boys will let you forget about it. Ever.

David having learned how to do make-up, so he can do Star's (and yours, if it's your thing)

Star letting Dwayne explain to her how to fix a bike so she can surprise David if his bike is ever broken down.

You dragging them to a karaoke bar. Star is very much in to it, and David really tries his best not to like it. In the end he's the one that has the wildest performance - jumping on tables, kicking beer bottles around, you name it - and he's the one that is most upset when you get kicked out of the bar.

Star and you going on the Haunted House ride on the boardwalk, and David sneaking in to scare you halfway through.

David daring you for a race through the mirrir house, betting he'd be quicker because he has no reflection.

David taking you and Star to the rooftops to do some stargazing. Pun intended.

Very fucking supportive - I don't know what else to say. You got something planned? A performance? A game? A whatever? They're there, probably the proudest grins on their faces you've ever seen. They bloody love you, and they're definitely proud of the things - whether they are minor or major - you achieve.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

green eyed monster* chris motionless x reader

+++++++++ This is a draft I had from my collab with svintsandghosts so if they are similar that's why. But if you read this one you'll see where they differ lol

*- you end up jerking him off, what can I say? Also md/lb relationship so have fun with that lol

song: and so it went by the pretty reckless

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @thisplace-ishaunted @joeynihil @xyours-eternallyx

+++++++++

"Hey, I'm gonna head to the bar for a second. Do you want me to bring you something?"

I asked, standing out of the corner booth. He just shook his head, folding his hands together under his chin. I nodded once before walking off. I looked over the menu on the wall before ordering am amaretto sour and waiting for it to be made. I looked back at Chris for only a second to see him grinning ear to ear as he talked to the woman standing at the edge of the table. I watched them for a moment, seeing red as she kept leaning in and touching parts of his arm and shoulder. I bit my tongue as the bar tender surrendered my drink and I took off towards the table.

"No, no, I love your work. your devilish good looks are just a bonus."

She said and I stopped, side stepping her and setting my drink on the table. She looked to me in surprise before a disgusted look flashed over her face. I just smiled at her and offered my hand.

"Who do we have here?"

I asked, looking to Chris as she shook my hand.

"Jen."

She said sternly and I nodded once.

"Well Jen it's nice to meet you. I'm Chris' boss."

I said and she drew her brows. I looked to Chris whose face went white. He knew what I meant. We had a contractual agreement, a Dom/sub agreement. Technically I was his boss.

"I didn't realize you had a boss, being in a band and all."

She said as I slid into the booth beside him.

"Every body's somebody's boss, right?"

He joked and she side nodded.

"Uh yeah I guess."

I picked up my drink and took a sip as she looked between us.

"Oh, don't mind me, please, continue."

I said, looking between the two of them as I tucked my hands under the table. His eyes flashed to me for a moment before scooting closer to the table, resting his elbows under his chin like he had done before I'd left.

"Um, I guess, back to what I was saying then. We've been getting a lot of good feedback on the album and we wanna continue this notion that we-"

He paused and looked at me as I placed my hand on his thigh. I raised my brows.

"That you what?"

I asked and he cleared his throat, swallowing hard as I moved my hand slowly up his leg.

"That uh,"

His eyes darted from me to the table them back to her.

"That we want to keep doing better than we ever have before. We wanna keep going-"

His breathing hitched as my hand hit his crotch.

"Oh I'm sure you will."

She said and he nodded. I could see him clenching his jaw as I began palming him under the table.

"I think whatever you guys put out the other fans will love. There's always gonna be those ride or die fans that eat it up, much like myself."

She said the last part like she was a little too proud and I smirked seeing him squirm in his seat. There was a pause from him though.

"I'm sure he's beyond glad to hear that. Right Chris?"

I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah."

He half moaned and I sent her a smile.

"We love and appreciate those fans so much. They keep our boys happy that's for sure."

I looked to him and he was staring at the table.

"Very happy."

He agreed as I moved to undo his pants.

"Are you okay?"

The girl asked and his gaze snapped to her.

"Couldn't be better."

He said with a smile.

"Why don't you tell her about the tour?"

I suggested and he sent me a death glare. We stared at each other for a moment as I slid my hand in his jeans and stroked his tip. I knew he was having a hard time, I could see it on his face. Normally when I touched him like this he lost all words anyways, I was proud he could even keep a conversation right now.

"Right."

He said, both of us looking back at her as I pulled his hard-on out of his pants. I bet he was glad he'd moved before I started or this would be an interesting sight. His tip was almost touching the table, I could feel it against my hand as I stroked him gently, rubbing his precum down his tip and onto his shaft.

"We haven't been able to do much recently so when we got word we could rour again we decided to-"

He moaned, covering it with a cough as I wrapped my hand around him.

"We decided to do something big."

He said and I let out a short laugh.

"Something big indeed."

I agreed, starting a pace, pumping him slowly. He tried not to look at me as she began talking again but I just ignored her, looking over the side of his face as he nodded. I let him go for a second and his gaze snapped to me like he was mad I'd stopped. I just smirked at him and lifted my hand to take a drink. he looked back to her as I slipped my hand back under the table.

"It's been a rough year that's for sure."

He said before my hand found its way around his shaft again. he offered a tight lip smile to the girl, looking to thr wall behind her for a split second. He sighed through his nose as if bargaining with himself. I turned and watched her, if she had any clue what was going on she wasn't showing it, especially not when he pushed his hips forward to get more and making the table move. It screeched against the floor and he let out a nervous laugh.

"Oops."

He said quickly, pulling the table back. She let out a soft laugh before continuing the conversation. He nodded, placing his elbows back in the table and covering his mouth with his interlocked fingers.

"Mommy."

He moaned quietly and I smirked as the girl kept talking. I knew it had barely escaped his lips, but surely she heard it. But then again maybe not. If she did she didn't let on that she did. He coughed a little again in an attempt to cover it up, shifting in his seat uncomfortably as I continued to work him in my hand.

"Sorry, must be allergies."

He managed and she kept talking. As I slowed my stroking he started to push his hips forward again, trying to get the friction back.

"Please."

He moaned and she drew her brows.

"Uh, are you sure you're okay?"

She asked and he nodded, looking to me again and I just smiled widely at him.

"I think what he meant was that he is pleased to hear you love the new singles, despite his doubts while making them. They went through a bit of a rough patch trying to get them done."

I said, cutting in and he inhaled sharply, closing his eyes and dropping his head against his hands. I ran my thumb over his tip and his mouth dropped open.

"Oh, I'm sorry it makes you so emotional. I'm sure everyone loves them as much as I do, I've seen the ratings and they're really good. Even if you guys did have some issues"

She said and he nodded against his hands. I looked over him and faked an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, I think he just needs a minute. We are both so glad to have met you and hope you have an amazing rest of your day."

I said and he nodded again, looking up to her and trying to offer a small smile. She thanked us before awkwardly walking off. When she was gone he grunted, begging to breathe heavily as I felt him pulse against my fingers.

"Fuck, keep going."

He pleaded, bucking his hips up into my hand. I paused, holding his shaft firmly. I looked over his face as he sent me a worried look.

"Is that how we ask?"

I said and he swallowed hard.

"Please mommy, let me cum."

He said in almost a whisper and I smirked, leaning forward like I was going to kiss him. I heard the soft whimper escape his throat when I didn't give him what he wanted.

"I don't think I heard you."

I said and his face went flush.

"Please mommy."

He said a little louder.

"Please let me-"

He threw his head back as I moved my hand again, shivering under my touch as I felt him pulse.

"Cum?"

I asked and he bit his bottom lip hard, squeezing his eyes shut and cumming over my hand. After he spilled I moved closer to him, kissing his jaw as he gripped the table, his knuckles going white.

"Good boy."

I whispered in his ear as he relaxed, falling limp into the back of the booth. He breathed heavily as I let him go, bringing my hand out from under the table. He peered over at me as I licked his cum off my fingers. He groaned low on his throat before moving to stuff himself back into his pants.

"I hate you ya know that?"

He said and I laughed, wiping the rest of my hand on the napkin in front of me.

"You've been a bad boy, flirting and making mommy jealous. It was either that here, or punishment when we got home."

I said, taking my drunk and sipping it. He just stared at me darkly before sighing and slouching down into the booth, his arms crossing over his chest as he pouted.

"Is there a problem?"

I asked, grabbing his chin and turning his head to look at me.

"No ma'am."

He said, his face softening.

"Good."

I said sternly and he sat up.

"Did I do good then?"

He asked and I sent him a knowing smile, one he gladly returned.

"Yes baby."

I confirmed and he wiggled in his seat a little bit.

"Do we want a reward when we get home?"

I asked and his head snapped in my direction.

"Really?"

He asked and I laughed, pulling him to me and kissing his cheek.

"You've earned it, you've been a very good boy, keeping that a secret."

I said and he nodded.

"Thank you mommy."

He said quietly.

"I'll let you pick what you want too so you think about it. Can be in or out of the bedroom, anything you want."

He raised a brow.

"Really?"

He asked a little in disbelief and I nodded.

"Anything you can think of."

He smirked at me.

"Anything?"

He said darkly and I sent him a testing look.

"I'm not gonna like this am I?"

I asked and he laughed a little bit.

"I guess we'll see when we get home."

He said and I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, you said anything."

He pointed out and I nodded reluctantly.

"I know I know, and I'll stand by that. Tonight only, got it?"

I said pointedly and he nodded once, looking smug as ever.

"Yes ma'am."

[the-cookie-of-doom]

So... A little follow up on the (what if Claudia took Mitch with her in estranged), what would've Mitch done if he saw stiles being bullied (by Jackson, or some punk that plays lacrosse with Mitch and was very jealous bc he wasn't the Captain and wanted to get back at Mitch using stiles) I think he would let his very badass side show and that would leave everyone in shock...

Or anything where Mitch was a total badass

I am so glad to follow up on this, bc I've been thinking about it nonstop since your first ask 😊

For the first scenario, with Jackson bullying Stiles:

Jackson gets jealous when he sees Mitch, back from college for the summer, practicing with Scott and Stiles. He tries to show off for Mitch in that typical douchebag way where he's lifting himself up by stepping on Scott and Stiles. Which is to say: it doesn't work. Mitch tells him to knock it off, and Jackson is a little hurt that his hero just brushed him off like that, but the message never sinks in. It just doesn't compute that Mitch wouldn't like him. And he's determined to show Mitch exactly where he's wrong, and that Mitch should be mentoring him. (Mitch is kind of put off by it, tbh. Like yeah he's a lacrosse star, one of the best college players to live, etc. Whatever, he's also a 20-something kid and doesn't want a fanboy, he just wants to hang out with his little brother.)

When Jackson's Win-Him-Over-With-Charm plan doesn't work, he gets nasty. Under the guise of trying to understand/"help" him, he brings up Mitch's past, asks why he'd have given up his future/inheritance. Jackson may not know his bio parents, but at least his adoptive ones are rich. He can't imagine giving all that up just to live some podunk life in a small town. But if they team up, they could go pro together; Jackson could back Mitch's career, and in return Mitch could train him, help him make connection, etc.

Meanwhile Mitch is ??? Because a literal teenager is trying to buy him. Between Jackson's treatment of Stiles, and his personal digs on Mitch (acting as if he knows the first thing about him), it's the closest Mitch has ever come to actually throwing hands with a teenager. He holds back though; psychological warfare and blackmail are so much more fun. And effective! Especially with someone like Jackson. And the last thing you want to do is piss off a telepath.

In Estranged, Mitch is entirely untrained. But here, with Claudia, he would be fully trained, which means he could do some damage, which Jackson would get to see first hand.

Second scenario, someone on his team decides to fuck with Stiles:

If it was someone Mitch's age picking on Stiles, it would be no holds barred. Mitch would go ballistic. I don't think he would have the same anger issues as he does in Estranged, bc he doesn't have the same trauma, but he's protective over his family. Threatening the people he loves, in any way, will always be a trigger for him. Especially give the age gap here. Stiles is his baby brother; if Mitch was 17, Stiles would be like 12-13. So it's extra levels of "wtf is wrong with you?" No one that close to graduating should be bullying a middle schooler. Mitch would absolutely get bloody over that. (And not necessarily his own.)

I could also see some "My big brother is gonna kick your big brother's ass!" From a scrappy 12 year old Stiles. He probably gets Mitch into all kinds of trouble lol. Tbh I imagine them having an early Steve/Bucky relationship, where Mitch is always having to drag him out of trouble when Stiles gets into fights with people much bigger and meaner than him. (He was probably a scrawny kid, and then between middle school and Highschool, sprouted like a weed. It's why Stiles is so gangly and awkward; he grew like 6 inches in one summer, and doesn't know where everything is yet.)

And finally, one more addition of my own for Badass Mitch~

I think he'd go ballistic on hunters, too. I already mentioned it on the first post where he gets kidnapped and tortured by Kate. That's not by accident; he totally confronts her (giving Laura time to warn her family), and they probably have a pretty brutal fight before she takes him down. He's got the training, but she has experience, and she fights dirty. But then after Laura and the others free him and have the Hale v. Hunter standoff, even while tortured, Mitch can still hold his own. Him and Laura are totally a badass battle couple, watching each other's backs and tearing through the hunters. Literally, in Laura's case!

And just one more idea because I think it's cute - once they go from Teenage Dating to Werewolf Courting, Laura takes down a deer as a courting gift for Mitch. Just. Fuckin. Goes out and kills the biggest stag she can finds and presents it to him all proud, and he's like O_O What the fuck am I going to do with this, babe??

But he cooks it up once he figures out how to actually butcher the thing (maybe with Papa Hale's help, it could be a father-soninlaw bonding experience) and Laura is heart eyes at him, bc not only did he accept her gift (thus her proving that she can provide for him), but he's also feeding her. And like I said, the girl likes to Eat xD (And thus Mitch shows he can provide for her, too.)

It probably becomes a Thing at the restaurant later, where they'll sometimes have venison on the menu whenever Laura is feeling frisky and Extra Alpha. Maybe she always begins (ends?) the Full Moon with a hunt, and it's a full moon special kind of deal.

[maria-scribbles]

loyalty’s all i got | part one

summary: three years ago, you had it all: great friends, good grades, and an almost perfect relationship with your boyfriend, jj. it all came crashing down when your mom relocated your family to california for work and you were forced to trade the outer banks for malibu, leaving your broken heart behind in the place you were just starting to think of as home. now you're back in town for college and to pick up the pieces, hoping to make things right again with your friends and the boy you never stopped loving.

word count: 8.9k+ i'm legit incapable of writing something short 😅

ship: jj maybank x female!reader, pogue friendship

warnings: mentions of child abuse, non-graphic injuries, weed, swearing, underage drinking, learning to be vulnerable, trust issues, first love, jj getting the love and affection he deserves, underage sex (nothing too descriptive but it gets a lil spicy, just fyi), teenage heartbreak, failed long distance relationship, angst with a happy ending, references to some taylor swift songs 'cause she's a queen.

a/n: got a lil plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone so here we are lol. title and inspiration for this fic comes from train's song "rescue dog" that gave me 'jj x reader where they're both damaged goods' vibes the second i heard it. this is semi canon-compliant as the treasure hunt never happened but big john is still alive and kie and sarah still work out their issues and become friends again. i used the names daisy, daniel, deke, and mack as a tribute to agents of shield, one of my favorite shows that had just had its series finale (and i'm still an emotional mess). enjoy and keep an eye out for part two, coming soon!

~masterlist~

part one: when our love was young and easy

For you, having a traveling nurse as a mom was both a blessing and a curse. When you were a kid, you loved bouncing around the country to a new town every so often and finding new places to explore with your rebellious big sister. Back then, she was all you needed to be happy: you'd go anywhere and everywhere as long as Daisy, your best friend, was by your side. 

As you both grew older and started school, you slowly realized that packing up your life every few years sucked. Yeah, seeing new places was cool and all but the novelty wore off fast when you found yourself making friends with your classmates, kids who weren't your sister for once, only to lose touch whenever you moved again. You felt like a ghost, haunting a new school for a while and then leaving behind nothing but a memory, one that gradually faded over time until it was gone, as if you never existed at all. You wondered if anyone actually remembered you. 

It was hard. You gradually became more sullen and withdrawn, finding it more and more difficult to make friends when you knew they wouldn't last, while Daisy acted out even worse than usual and ended up being grounded almost every week. It took her getting arrested while graffitiing the school gym on New Year's Eve for your father - a bit clueless about being a stay-at-home dad to two girls but he tried his best- to put his foot down and tell his wife enough was enough. 

"Our kids need stability, Rebekah. They need a chance to make real friends and stay in one place for longer than two or three years. They need a home."

Thankfully by some miracle, your mother agreed and promised the next move would be the last until you graduated high school. You wanted to believe her so badly but you weren't sure if you could as you packed up your life once again and headed down south from Rhode Island.

That's how you ended up in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, finishing eighth grade at some fancy ass academy that you weren't sure your parents could afford. Daisy, a sophomore, seemed to have no problem fitting in on the north side of the island when she landed a job as a lifeguard at the country club and made fast friends with the rich kids that frequented the pool. It stung a bit when she eventually started ditching you for them (and some older boy named Kelce; you knew she'd snag a boyfriend eventually but you didn't realize it'd be so fast and with someone so...douchey) but you tried not to let it bother you too much, as you were okay getting by on your own and honest-to-God happy for your sister. Making friends was a scary thought when you remembered all the kids you've had to leave behind over the years, all the friendships that crumbled into dust in the wind so you tried to stay at arm's length from your classmates and told yourself you were just fine the way you were. 

The loneliness was hard to ignore though, and you soon found yourself slowly, reluctantly becoming friends with a girl named Kiara that sat beside you in algebra after she helped you cram for a test you completely forgot about, even as warning bells rang loud in your mind. It wasn't long before you started sitting with her and her friend Sarah at lunch, which led to being invited to the beach and the movies and sleepovers and just like that, you remembered what friendship felt like. For the first time, you felt like a normal teenager with a best friend that wasn't your sister and although you liked Sarah, Kiara was the one you were closest to, especially when you found out she hated the kook academy as much as you did.

"Fuck it," She said at one of your sleepovers, sitting on the floor at the end of your bed and rifling through your box of movies. "I'm done with acting like something I'm not, I'm done with being fake, and I'm done with rich kid politics." She tossed Legally Blonde in your direction and then joined you in leaning against the headboard as you slipped the DVD into your laptop.

"Yeah, this whole kook thing kind of sucks." You replied, tapping through the previews to the main menu. "That's why I don't give a shit."

"And that's why I'm so happy you're my friend, Y/N," Kiara said. "You're just yourself and don't try to change for anybody. It's cool."

Cursor hovering over the play button, you paused and glanced over at the other girl. "I'm happy you're my friend, too. I...I only really had my sister growing up so just...thanks, I guess. For being here."

Kiara pulled you into a fierce hug after your impromptu confession and you hugged her back, understanding for the first time what true friendship looked like. 

More kids get added to your posse -three boys named John B, JJ, and Pope- after a catastrophic falling out with Sarah over her fiasco of a birthday party and from the very first time you met them, you realized the south side of the island was where you belonged. The pogues were unabashedly, unapologetically real and you felt the freest you'd ever been when you were hanging out with them and from the way Kiara seemed so much happier, you knew she felt the same way. Those kooks and their status quo could suck it.

You vowed you wouldn't let yourself get too attached to your new friends (cohorts, as your dad jokingly called them), lest you get your heart broken when your mom inevitably moved on to the next job in a year or two; despite her promise, you just had a feeling that it wouldn't last and wished you weren't always waiting for that other shoe to drop. You didn't plan on them becoming your second family and you definitely didn't plan on falling in love for the first time, but life always found new ways to surprise you. 

You were fourteen when you started to notice that one of your friends was cute as fuck. To be honest, you thought all of your friends were pretty cute but there was something about JJ that made you flustered beyond belief every time he crossed your mind. You found yourself more than a little fixated on his golden hair, his bright blue eyes, and the way you always felt at your happiest when he was around; he lived like a wild, out of control hurricane and you wanted to get swept up in the eye of his storm, despite your brain telling you not to.

You never had crushes before, always too busy anticipating worrying about your family's next move to really look at anyone like that but you were definitely looking now while you tried to balance on JJ's surfboard in the gently bobbing waves, your trembling hands planted firmly on his -bare, tan, strong- shoulders as he held it steady.

"Lookin' good, Y/N," He looked up at you with a proud grin before glancing back down at your stance. "Just bend your knees a little more and you'll be perfect."

His praise, along with his calloused palms carefully adjusting your legs made your face feel hot and you shifted on the board to correct your balance, slowly raising your arms until you were standing, albeit a little wobbly, mostly on your own. 

"Holy shit!" You yelled, the smile on your face growing more ecstatic at the encouraging cheers of your friends as they watched from the beach twenty feet away. "I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it!"

"Almost," JJ gave you another one of his killer smiles, the ones that you quickly found out made breathing normally quite the challenge, then let go of your knees to give the board a solid push forward. "Now you are!"

Frantically, you recalled everything he taught you that afternoon and managed to make it halfway to shore before you lost your balance and fell into the surf with a giddy laugh. "Guess I need a little more practice," You giggled as he splashed his way over and offered you a hand, a teasing glint in his blue eyes. 

"Just a little?"

You flicked some water at him for that and your laugh grew when he wrapped you up in his arms and spun you around before flinging you both into the waves. The others immediately ran to join you and an all out war broke out, everyone splashing each other with no holds barred.  

When he casually suggested giving you another lesson the next day as you all laid on the sand to catch your breath, you were unable to say no and the soft, dimpled smile on his face made your heart skip a beat in a way you'd never felt before. For the first time, you told the warning bells in your head to just shut the fuck up and allowed yourself to think about the future, to dream about what you could become and where you could be in two, five, even ten years. You let yourself have hope.

The next morning, you put on your favorite bikini -the green high waisted one that made your butt look good- and caught a ride with Daisy and Kelce to the beach, ignoring the teasing looks and jabs your sister sent your way and the sly smirk on her boyfriend's face. 

"Hey, Juliet, looks like your Romeo's already waiting for you." 

You rolled your eyes and hopped out of Kelce's Range Rover, flipping them both the bird behind your back without a second glance. As they drove away, their laughter followed you to where JJ was indeed waiting by the walkway to the shore, surfboard under his arm, and his face broke out into a wide grin when he laid eyes on you, one that you couldn't help returning.

"Sorry I'm late, my sister was being a bitch."

He laughed at that and reached out to take your hand, sending warm tingles through your whole body. "I was kinda worried you forgot about me, Y/N."

In a sudden burst of courage you didn't know you had, you laced your fingers with his and started pulling him toward the water as you sent him a wink over your shoulder. "I would never."

You started your lesson on the sand, reviewing how to stand up and balance on the board, before moving to the ocean. You catch your first waves on your stomach to get used to the movement and when you get comfortable with that you move to your knees and then your feet; each time JJ was there to catch you when you inevitably bit it, hugging you close to his bare chest and speaking enthusiastic words of encouragement in your ear, and with every passing try you became more and more confident until you finally nailed a small wave from beginning to end without falling on your ass. 

"I did it!" In a flash, you jumped off the board and into his arms, your mouth curving into a joyful grin when he spun you in circles like yesterday with your own arms locked tight around his neck.

"Hell yeah you did!" The proud smile on his face made your stomach do a little flip and so did the way he held you close, his hands hooked under your thighs. "You're gonna be a pro in no time."

"Well," You said, twirling your fingers in the fine blond hair at his nape and hoping you didn't just imagine the shiver that ran down his spine. "I do have a great teacher."

His pretty blue eyes locked onto yours and you couldn't look away even if you wanted to (which you absolutely didn't). You'd been reading about moments like that ever since you were a kid, alone in your room with nothing better to do than drown yourself in overly sappy fanfiction until 2 AM, so you knew all about the magnetism, the butterflies, the invisible string tying two lovers together by fate, but it was just a fantasy, a pipe dream, something to yearn for when the loneliness became too much. Never in a million years did you imagine you would ever feel like that.

And yet you did. You felt it in your whole body, coursing through your veins like liquid fire, and when JJ started to lean in, you didn't hesitate to meet him halfway. It wasn't your first kiss -that happened two years ago when you were still living in Rhode Island, during a rare party you actually got invited to and with a pretty girl in your class- but it was the first that set every single one of your nerves alight. He held you tighter against him as your hands moved to cup his face, letting him deepen the kiss with a tilt of his head and the soft swipe of his tongue against your lips. You never thought you'd find yourself in the middle of a make out session in broad daylight and in full view of everyone on the beach but there you were, not giving a single shit about who was watching. All you cared about was memorizing every detail about the way he kissed you, the feel of his mouth on yours and the heat of his palms against your thighs, the rough touch of drying saltwater on his skin under your thumbs and that little noise he made low in his throat when you wrapped your legs tighter around his waist. You could've kissed him for hours (holy shit did you want to do that) and never run out of new idiosyncrasies to notice.

You pulled back some glorious time later with a breathless smile and swollen lips, heart racing against your ribcage and forehead pressed to JJ's as he smiled back, an endearing pink flushed across his face. 

"I've wanted to do that for a while." His quiet admission made the butterflies in your stomach go haywire and you leaned down to kiss him once again, no longer able to deny yourself the happiness you longed for for years now that you'd had a taste; he returned the kiss and you laughed against his mouth as he spun you around before gently setting you on your feet in the surf, his forgotten board -thankfully still tethered to your ankle- bumping into your legs with every wave.

"Me, too." 

"Good." He shot you a smile that make you weak in the knees and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind your ear, then it was his turn to lean down to press his lips to yours.

After that day, life was practically a dream. You had the greatest friends you could've asked for, your family was the happiest you'd ever seen them, and you had a boyfriend. A loyal, affectionate, chaotic boyfriend who somehow managed to keep you on your toes while being your guiding light all at once and you wondered how you got so lucky that a boy as wonderful as JJ wanted little old you, with all of your insecurities and shattered edges and tendencies to push people away when they got too close.

You told him that one day as you laid together on your bed, sharing lazy kisses in the warm late-summer sun streaming in through your window while Fleetwood Mac played quietly from your phone resting on the nightstand. Fall was in the air and with it came cool breezes and that nagging fear in the back of your mind that screamed none of it would last. It was the first time you cried in front of him -in front of anyone other than your sister- and he held you tight to his chest, hand running soothingly over your back as you let everything out in one massive, embarrassing flood of years of pent-up emotions. 

Another thing your boyfriend was good at, you found out, was comfort. He didn't say anything as he hugged you close but he didn't need to, the fact that he was simply there and listening was all you needed from him. You spent your whole life living in the shadows until then, when he made you feel seen, heard, and important, validated, all without saying a single word and after your tears had run dry and you pulled your face away from his damp shirt, you killed that urge to flee and buried it so deep you hoped you'd never find it again. 

That day, you poured out your heart for the first time to a person you knew in your very bones you could trust and received nothing but unconditional acceptance in return. JJ took you as you were, flaws and metaphorical scars, dark secrets and past mistakes, and you weren't quite fifteen yet but you wondered if that spark you felt in your blood when he kissed you was love.

It was less than a week later when he showed up at your door late at night, bruised and bloody, and the thrill of a clandestine meeting in your room faded the second you saw the small, pained smile he sent your way. Daisy, swapping roles with you for once, distracted your parents so you could sneak him upstairs like she did with Kelce practically every week and only when you were both safely hidden away in your room did you speak, keeping your voice as soft as your touch against his bruised cheek. "What happened?"

You cried in front of him for the second time when he finally answered, after you cleaned him up with the first aid kit your mom always kept under your bathroom sink and helped him change into some of your dad's old clothes your sister swiped from the laundry room ("if you need anything, just text me, 'k?" she said and you sent her a grateful smile before she left, quietly shutting the door behind her.). JJ was your echo as he spilled all his secrets, too, bringing his demons out of the deep blue darkness and into your golden daylight where they slowly burned to ash, little by little. You held him close, your legs tangled together and his head pillowed on your chest, and you ran your fingers through his hair over and over until he talked himself hoarse and his hands loosened their white-knuckled grip on your sweatshirt. 

Words had never been your strong suit so you let your actions speak for you and gently wiped the tears from his cheeks with your thumbs, leaning down to press your lips to his forehead, then his closed eyelids, his nose, all over his face until there was no inch you hadn't kissed other than his mouth; you saved that for last, letting each delicate touch linger against his slightly chapped lips like bright beacons of light guiding him through a storm in hopes that he'll make it to shore.

"You'll always be safe with me." 

You whispered it into his hair sometime later, through swollen lips that hurt in the best possible way and you felt his slow smile into the curve of your neck, his reply coming in the form of a soft and feather-light kiss against your heated skin. You fell asleep that night with your boyfriend wrapped up in your arms, safe and warm and far away from the father who hurt him in more ways than one. 

Your parents, on the other hand, loved JJ so much to the point you thought they'd adopt him if they could, especially your dad. They were constantly inviting him over for dinner, fishing trips, movie nights: you name it, your parents wanted him there, and you were pretty sure he was spending even more time at your place than at John B's. He won the 'favorite boyfriend' category by default because Kelce barely made the 'tolerated' list, much to your and Daisy's amusement. 

Despite that fact though, you still snuck JJ out your window that morning to meet him at the front door just as your mother was leaving for her shift at the hospital. Rebekah greeted him with her customary hug before touching his bruised cheek with a gentle hand and concern in her eyes.  

"What happened, hon?" 

He shrugged, expertly bullshitting some excuse about defending your honor when one of Kelce's friends started going off about how good your ass looked and it instantly appeased your dad, who reached over to clap your boyfriend on the shoulder.

"Good job, kid." Bill said with a pleased grin, then kissed his wife goodbye and headed back down the hall toward the living room. "Hear that, Daisy? Your boy needs to get better friends!"

"Dad!"

"Even better, just get a better boy in general!"

As your father and sister squabbled, your mother pulled you both into another fierce hug and whispered "You always have a place here," before she headed out the door; JJ looked a bit stunned at Rebekah's words and you reached over to give his hand a gentle squeeze, smiling softly when he slowly did it back.

Your parents weren't stupid. They knew your boyfriend didn't come from the best of homes but they loved him anyway, showering him in ordinary, everyday affection they knew he rarely got. You noticed it more and more as the months passed: your dad always asking him for help fixing Daisy's clunker of a car when it broke down and both would come inside with grease-stained hands and easy smiles, your mom keeping all the first aid kits fully stocked and hugging him a little tighter when he looked a little worse for wear, both of them making sure he was fed and safe and cared for like he deserved. Even Daisy had a penchant for leaving snacks on your bed like some sort of food fairy and offering to give rides to the beach or the Chateau, especially after she finally dumped Kelce and had, as she said, 'nothing better to do.'

And you? You fell harder each passing day, each moment you spent with him, each kiss that made your veins hum with white hot lightning. Of course, your friends teased you mercilessly but neither of you really minded, knowing that each joke was born pure joy at seeing you both together and happy (though you never missed an opportunity to be extra affectionate in front of everyone as revenge.). JJ continued to teach you how to surf until you could hold your own with the rest of the pogues and when you turned fifteen in late spring, they gave you the surprise of your life in the form of your very own board.

You stared in shock at the sea foam green board propped in the sand beside your friends,' gaping like a fish out of water as they all screamed "happy birthday, Y/N!" at the top of their lungs.

"You...you guys -are you for real?" You reached out to run your fingers over the smooth epoxy surface, the mounting pressure behind your eyes becoming harder and harder to ignore when you caught sight of your friends' identical bright grins. What did you do to deserve them?

"We figured it was time you had your own board instead of that shitty hand me down," John B said, ruffling your hair with brotherly affection that made your heart feel full. Pope nodded enthusiastically and added, "You're gonna improve so much with this -not that you weren't already, I mean!"

"She's already good 'cause she has me for a teacher," JJ said with an overexaggerated wink as he pulled you closer and planted a kiss on your cheek. "Taught her everything she knows."

"Oh, please, you just wanted to mack-"

"Taught her how to make out-"

"What they all mean to say, Y/N," Kiara interrupted, sending the boys a pointed look, then gave your shoulder a quick squeeze, "is that we love you. That word won't kill you guys to say, you know."

"I-I love you guys, too. All of you." You admitted thickly, hastily wiping away the tears you just realized were slipping down your face. It didn't scare you to say it. You didn't feel the urge to run or pretend you didn't care for them as much as they cared for you 'cause you loved your friends like you loved your sister, your parents, and the thought filled you with joy instead of terror. "I don't know how to thank you."

You suddenly found yourself in the middle of a colossal group hug, laughing and crying at the same time as four pairs of arms all tried to wrap around you at once.  "How about you start by getting out there and showing us what you're made of?" John B said with a nod toward the ocean and you wiggled your way out of the tangle of limbs, darting forward to pull your new board from the sand.  

"Come on, slowpokes," You called over your shoulder as you jogged toward the water, "You aren't gonna let the newbie have all the fun, right?"

The water was a bit too chilly for surfing but the five of you dove in anyway and you grinned so hard you were sure your face would split in two when you nailed your first wave to the rest of the pogues' cheers. You all surfed until the cold was too much to bear before packing up and heading back to your house, where you spent the rest of your birthday surrounded by all of the people you'd ever loved, making s'mores around the campfire in your backyard. 

"I meant what I said earlier." You blurted when JJ was the only one around to hear it, the others already headed inside for the night. The two of you laid together on a blanket beside the dying fire as you stared up at the stars and when you spoke, he tore his gaze from the sky to focus on you, one eyebrow raised in the cutest confused expression you'd ever seen.

"Meant what?"

Maybe it was the look in those pretty blue eyes of his or the feel of his fingers running through your hair or your brain remembering every single moment you'd ever shared with him all at once but something screamed at you to say those words, the ones you'd been thinking about saying to his face for a long time. Though you'd already said them earlier, this time was different -so, so different- and you took a deep breath, fighting away the nerves that made your hand tremble as you cupped his face and ran your thumb over his cheekbone.

"I love you."

The funny thing about words: once they're out in the air, there's no taking them back. These words, though? You never wanted to take them back. Ever. 

"I love you, too."

It wasn't like the movies. Fireworks didn't go off, the world didn't stop spinning on its axis, nothing magically clicked into place, but you did feel the most wonderful warmth you could ever imagine slowly sinking into your bones when he said it back, the soft smile on his flushed face snatching the very breath from your lungs. He loved you. You loved him. It was simple, uncomplicated, effortless and you smiled into his kiss with the moon and stars as your witnesses. 

Summer came again, setting you and Kiara free from the hell known as the kook academy and its rich kid hierarchy and the two of you ran wild -from sunrise to sunset- with your boys at your sides, like birds escaping their cages or horses let loose in the grasslands, untamed and thirsty for adventure. It had only just begun and yet you already knew it was the best summer of your life. 

Your dad, a man able to make friends with a rock, struck up a camaraderie with Sarah's father of all people during a deep sea fishing trip and snagged five invitations to some fancy party called Midsummers. 

Kiara nearly had a coronary when you shared the news, her face lighting up like a kid on Christmas morning. "Oh, thank God!" She breathed, sitting up on her towel and pushing her sunglasses up onto her forehead. "Maybe I'll actually have a good time for once."

The two of you were relaxing on the beach, taking a break while the boys surfed and you turned away from admiring your boyfriend's bare back to look her in the eye. "So what you're saying is-"

"-it fucking sucks. Just..." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "a bunch of bourgeoise pigs throwing a party to stroke their overinflated egos."

You groaned and flopped back onto your towel, throwing your arm over your eyes. "Great, a night of rich people being rich people."

Kiara laughed and reached over to grab a bottle of water from the cooler. "You have no idea."

Despite her misgivings, the party wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. Sure, the general stench of opulence and wasted money -so much wasted money- was overbearing and quite frankly disgusting but you did your best to ignore it, focusing instead on having a great time with two of your best friends, making fun of the kooks and sneaking liquor when the adults weren't looking. One of those friends happened to be your boyfriend and you found it very, very hard to keep your eyes off him in that suit of his, with his hair slicked back in just the right way that made your knees weak; JJ couldn't stop staring at you either and you'd lost count of how many times you glanced over to find him already looking at you, something you'd never seen before behind his gaze. You wanted -needed- to find out what it was and you were hoping you would tonight, even if you didn't exactly know how. 

"Why don't you two take a picture? It'll last longer." Kiara said sarcastically and you flicked your eyes down to your lap, smoothing a non-existent wrinkle in your deep green dress to hide your embarrassment. What was it about that damn suit that made you feel so flustered?

"You know me, Kie," JJ replied, grabbing your hand and tugging you toward the dance floor. "I like to live in the moment." He grinned down at you and you couldn't help smiling back, giggling as he twirled you under his arm before pulling you close, resting his other hand low on your back.

"I didn't know you were such a good dancer," You said, letting him lead you in a simple waltz across the cool grass. 

"Well, I'm not but I might've spent the last week practicing with your sister while Kie distracted you." He admitted casually, shooting a thumbs up over your shoulder and you turned to find Daisy grinning in your direction as she swayed with some guy (Daniel, you thought, or maybe Deke? You weren't sure.) you'd seen hanging around the pool a few times. 'You're welcome,' She mouthed before spinning under her partner's arm, her wine-colored dress fanning out around her legs and you smiled wider, twirling back into your boyfriend's embrace and surging up onto your tiptoes to press your lips to his.

He dipped you low as he returned your kiss, grinning against your mouth when you flung your arms around his neck in surprise, your fingers holding tight to the collar of his suit jacket. "You did all that for me?" You asked once your feet were firmly back on the ground and your heart skipped a beat as his hands brushed the skin exposed by the low-cut back of your dress. 

"Anything for you, Y/N." 

Later, after dancing until your shoes started to dig uncomfortably into your toes, the two of you snuck down to the beach, your heels in your hands and two stolen drinks in JJ's. You felt a bit guilty ditching Kiara but from the wink she sent your way as you passed by, you were pretty sure she didn't really mind. The sand was cool on your legs through the thin layers of your skirt and yet you felt nothing but warm, both from his arm around your shoulders and the alcohol burning down your throat.

"Shit," You coughed, regretting following your boyfriend's example by knocking the whole thing back at once and playfully jabbing your elbow in his side when he outright laughed at your struggle. "I'm not used to drinking straight...whatever this is." 

"It's bourbon, babe." He took the glass from your hand and set it aside before tucking you closer against him to ward off the slight chill of the mellow ocean breeze. "Don't worry, I still love you even if you can't take shots."

"Ha ha. Love you, too, you jerk." You rested your head on his shoulder after they stopped shaking with laughter, perfectly happy to sit in silence together and watch the waves crash against the shore. A pleasant tingle flooded through your body after the bourbon finally stopped burning and you realized you liked the feeling, even if it paled in comparison to the high you reached when he kissed you, when he ran his hand through your hair, when he made it crystal clear you were loved. 

"Hey, Y/N?"

JJ's voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you shifted your head to look up at him, hooking one of your ankles around his. "Yeah?"

"Gimme your hand."

You obliged, your confusion slowly melting away into something more closely resembling pure, unadulterated affection as he tied a bracelet around your wrist. And not just any bracelet, you noticed when you brought it closer to your face to examine it in the dim, distant light of the party: this one was obviously, beautifully handmade, woven with threads in shades of green, blue, and tan and tied off with two green beads on each end. You ran your thumb over a spot where the intricate motif was just a little messed up and smiled when JJ looked embarrassed, the tips of his ears turning red.

"Yeah, sorry about that, I was in a hurry and fucked up the pattern," He confessed sheepishly, spinning a similar bracelet around his own wrist. "I was gonna give it to you on your birthday but I kind of underestimated how long it took to make-"

"It's perfect." You interrupted, tackling him onto the sand with your arms around his neck as you pressed a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth, leaving a bright red lipstick mark behind. "I love it. I love you."

The smile he sent you was one of unabashed relief and he slid his fingers into your hair to pull you down for another kiss. "I love you, too."

For awhile after that, you let your lips do the talking in a different way and you made out on the beach for -surprisingly- only the second time until you rolled onto your back and accidentally got a little sand in your underwear (he laughed at that but you immediately got your revenge by stuffing a handful down the front of his shirt). You snuck back to the party hand in hand to drop off the forgotten glasses and wave a quick goodbye to Kiara, who just smirked at your smudged lipstick and the golden crown of leaves sitting crooked on your head, before walking toward your house a mile down the road. Well, JJ walked, you hitched a ride on his back when he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Babe, your feet hurt and you have sand in your ass. No way in hell I'm letting you walk."

You just smiled against his shoulder and let him carry you the rest of the way to your house and then even up the stairs to your room as you fired off a text to Daisy letting her know where you disappeared to. She sent 'check your dresser, thank me later' with a winking emoji back and you felt your face get hot when you caught sight of the small box tucked into the corner of the drawer, quickly placing the phone facedown on your bedside table before tossing your shoes onto the floor by your closet and carefully pulling the crown from your messy hair.

"Thanks for the ride, my feet and ass are in your debt."

"Let's make out again and I'll consider that debt paid."

You laughed but gave in 'cause hell, you really wanted to keep making out, too. You pushed JJ backwards until his knees hit your bed and you ended up on his lap, your hands pushing the suit jacket off his shoulders as you leaned down to kiss him. He slid the pins from your hair one by one until it fell around your face and he tangled his fingers in it, pulling your head back so he could trail his lips down the sensitive skin of your neck and you gasped, pausing in the middle of trying to undo the bowtie around his neck.

Something shifted in the air then and you knew that once you took that next step, there'd be no turning back but you were ready to meet it head on as you finished with his tie and tossed it behind you, then started on the buttons of his shirt. That look from earlier was in his eyes again and you nodded, smiling in anticipation when you finally understood what it meant and he languidly slipped one of the straps of your dress off your shoulder. 

You bared your body like you bared your soul and soon there was no part of you that he didn't know. You learned every part of him, too and together you brought each other to a high you'd never felt before. It wasn't perfect, of course, but it was perfect to you: every awkward, beautiful touch, when you breathed his name like that for the first time, the way your hands clutched his hair like a lifeline. You were burning up from the inside out, every single nerve on fire and blazing brilliantly under your heated skin and you'd never felt more alive when you came undone in his arms.

In the afterglow, you laid wrapped up together like the woven bracelets you both wore, JJ's fingers steadily tracing the curve of your bare hip as yours soothed the darkening red mark you'd left behind on his neck. The fairy lights strung above your bed cast soft, welcoming shadows all around, highlighting that wonderful look in his eyes, open and awed and oh so loving and you knew your gaze held the same.

"I'm, I-" He started, then shook his head and leaned down to place a lingering kiss on your cheek. "I just -shit."

"Whoa, you're speechless," You teased, sweeping a wayward strand of sweaty blond hair away from his forehead. "Guess I really blew your mind, huh?"

"Fucking fried it." He shook his head again with the dopiest, dreamiest smile you'd ever seen and you giggled as he pulled you closer, calloused palm flat against the small of your back. "I'm so fucking in love with you. Straight up head over heels, babe." 

You smiled even wider at his words and how they ignited that flame burning inside you once again. "Good thing I'm fucking head over heels, hopelessly in love with you, too." You replied and pushed him back onto the bed, swinging a leg over his thighs so you were the one on top this time. "And I'm gonna blow your damn mind again."

You weren't sure what you expected life to be like after you had sex for the first time. You'd always heard it was this momentous occasion, that you'd suddenly feel like a real woman or whatever stupid label society came up with to further control girls and their sexuality but honestly, you still felt like the same person. All those rom-coms and their jokes about having that look after getting laid were total and complete bullshit, you realized; to you, sex was just a different, more intimate way to show your love and you just happened to like showing it often (and luckily JJ did, too). You flaunted it in other ways, too, his bandanas tied in your hair and shirts in your closet, your necklaces resting against his collarbone and bracelets you learned to make around his wrists, but there was nothing like the marks you left on each other's skin -necks, inner arms, hipbones- when you were alone together in the dark.

Life went on. Months flew by and things were nearly perfect for you: great friends, good grades, a wonderful relationship with your loving boyfriend. The girl of your past, the one who kept to herself and avoided anything that had to do with being vulnerable like the plague was dead and gone and in her place was the person you always wanted to be. You were happy -ridiculously, deliriously happy- sixteen and so in love with the life you built that you'd almost forgotten about your mom's tendency to relocate your family every few years; that nagging thought was still in the back of your mind but you refused to let it control your life with fear of losing everything -everyone- you'd come to love.

But you knew how the saying went: the bigger you are, the harder you fall.

The higher you climb on an unstable mountain, the more it hurts when it inevitably crumbles beneath you. 

Your mountain didn't just crumble: it was violently torn apart, ripped into pieces by a devastating earthquake, a destructive landslide caused by the one person who promised she wouldn't hurt you anymore but the catalyst that unintentionally set it in motion came from someone you never expected: your sister.

Daisy graduated from the kook academy and got accepted into her dream school, UCLA, alongside her boyfriend Daniel (see, you knew his name wasn't Deke) but you didn't think too much of it. After all, you knew that day would come eventually, the day your big sister would head off to college and leave you, her shadow, behind but the thought didn't fill you with dread like it used to. You had friends, a found family to soothe the inescapable sting of the Daisy-shaped hole in your heart and keep your spirits high when she hopped on that plane to California in the fall.

You still had the summer though and you made it count, days spent with your friends and nights spent with your sister, doing all the things you used to do together when you were little; watching movies, playing games, making a total mess in the kitchen when you baked batches and batches of cookies that had both your boyfriend and hers always hanging around like dogs begging for scraps. You and Daisy started putting them to work the second they ate two dozen snickerdoodles by themselves (Daniel was an excellent cook while JJ was a total disaster) and those nights always ended with the four of you squished together on the couch, wrapped in blankets and cookies and warmth while a scary movie played on in the background. 

The day before Daisy left for LA, you met your parents and sister at The Wreck for what you thought would be your last family dinner until Thanksgiving break but it turned out you were the only one who believed that. You should've known something was wrong the second your dad didn't even make a joke about your friends dropping you off in John B's rust bucket of a van or when JJ pulled you back in for a kiss that was just a little bit too risque for the public eye (You'd laughed when John B and Pope both pretended to gag and just kissed him harder, not giving a single shit about who saw, even your parents.). You should've known when your mother's smile was a little strained or when your sister wouldn't meet your eyes. You should've known but you stupidly didn't see the signs and that made Rebekah's words so much harder to swallow.

"We're moving to California."

You dropped the loaded nacho in your hand back onto your plate as you stared at her, gaping like a fish. "E-Excuse me but what the actual fuck?"

"Language, Y/N." 

"I don't give a shit about my language, Mom, I give a shit about the fact that you broke your promise!" You hissed, roughly pushing your plate away and almost knocking your glass of water over. 

"Sweetheart-"

"You promised." 

Your mother winced at the tightness of your voice and how you snatched your clenched fist out from under her hand. "I know, dear, but I couldn't pass on this offer and I know how much you're going to miss your sister-"

"Yeah, I'll miss Daisy but I don't want to move across the country just to be near her! God, let her be her own person for once!"

"Y/N-"

"And what about me, huh? I'm happy here! This is my home! I have friends, a boyfriend -I'm not leaving!"

"Honey, I understand you're upset-"

"Do you?" You interrupted your dad with a bitter laugh, fighting the tears you felt pricking at your eyes. "Do you understand what you're forcing me to lose?"

Bill looked away as Kiara arrived with your food and set the plates down in awkward silence. You gave her a tight smile when she quickly patted your back and then returned to the kitchen, sending you a concerned glance over her shoulder before she disappeared through the double doors and you turned to face Daisy. 

"Day, did you know?" Your sister avoiding your sudden, sharp gaze was all the answer you needed and your heart dropped like an anchor, weighing heavy on your stomach. You felt sick. You felt furious. But most of all, you felt betrayed.  

Suddenly, the sight of your favorite meal in front of you wasn't so appetizing anymore and you abruptly stood, your chair scraping roughly against the floor. Heads turned to look in your direction but you ignored their curious stares as you snarled with all the venom you could muster across the table at your mother, "I knew I never should've trusted a word you said."

You turned away from her hurt expression -the sheer audacity she had, acting like she was the one whose heart was shattering- and ran out the front door of The Wreck before anyone could stop you, pretending not to hear their voices calling after your retreating back. You didn't know where your feet were taking you but you really didn't care, just as long as it was far, far away from your family.

You ran until your aching legs forced you to stop and you doubled over, hands on your thighs as you tried to catch your breath and it wasn't until you saw the water dripping onto the sidewalk beneath you did you realize you were crying. Footsteps slowed to a stop beside you and your braced yourself to hear Daisy's apology or worse, your mother's, but got Kiara's winded voice instead.

"Did you ever think about doing cross country? 'Cause holy shit," She gasped with her hands on her hips. "You can run." 

Despite feeling like your whole fucking world was falling apart around you, you still managed a snort of laughter at your friend's remark and eagerly returned her embrace when she wrapped her arms around your shoulders, burying your face against her neck. She held you as you cried, running a soothing hand up and down your back until the rest of your friends pulled up in the Volkswagen and you found yourself crying on a different shoulder, one you knew better than your own. 

The white hot fury had left your body and now all you felt was numb. Numb and empty and hollow as you quietly explained everything on the ride back to the Chateau, avoiding your friends' sympathetic stares by playing with a loose thread at the bottom of JJ's shirt. He ran a hand through your hair while you leaned against him and you let his touch slowly bleed life back into your heart. 

"You're not leaving, okay? My parents love you so you can stay with me." Kiara declared later as you all lounged around the bonfire, passing a joint back and forth.

"Or me. My dad would probably let you stay if you helped out around the shop," Pope piped up, handing it over to you without taking a drag as John B added, "Me, too. We have an extra room."

"Tijuana's always nice, too, babe." JJ suggested, grabbing your hand holding the joint and bringing it to his mouth so he could take a hit. "Just a thought."

You smiled softly and took your own hit, slowly blowing smoke into the air. "You guys are the best. I doubt my parents'll change their minds...but I guess it wouldn't hurt to try." It would definitely hurt if your desperate bid to stay didn't work but you tried not to think about that and focused instead on having a good time with your friends, forgetting all about your phone that was switched to silent and burning a hole in your purse. 

Later, after the others headed inside for the night and it was just you and JJ left, you were reminded of your fifteenth birthday. You'd laid like you were now, on a blanket under the stars beside a dying fire and you told him you loved him for the first time and as much as it tore you apart to know it might all come to an end, you didn't regret it. You didn't regret befriending Kiara back in eighth grade or letting the pogues become so important to you or falling so hard for the boy holding you in his arms. And right then, all you wanted to do was hold onto that feeling by showing him your love and getting loved in return. 

You propped yourself up on your elbow and leaned down to kiss him, your other hand slipping under his shirt in the flickering glow of the flames and you smiled against his lips when he immediately rolled onto his back so you were on top, his hand doing some exploring of its own under your sundress.  

"I don't want to feel anything but you tonight." You answered the question in his eyes when you broke apart some time later, both breathing heavily with your skirt hitched up over your thighs and his shirt tossed somewhere on the grass behind you. "Please."

"Here?"

You'd never fucked outside before but you figured now would be the perfect time to try and to be honest, you were too impatient to make it to a bed so you nodded, slowly rolling your hips against his. "Right here."

You lost yourself in the ardent touch of his calloused hands with the haze of smoke hanging in the cool night air, letting everything slip away until he was the only thing that remained. He was all you needed, tan skin slick with sweat and mouth searing hot, your nails trailing scratches down his back while your lips left smudged marks of blood red on his face. He took you higher and higher, doing exactly what you asked him to, over and over until you nearly forgot your own name and when you finally came back down, he held you close until your limbs stopped shaking and your heart slowed back to its normal rhythm.

"I don't want to lose you." You admitted quietly into the dark, wiping at a stubborn lipstick stain on the corner of his mouth and your thumb caught on his lip when JJ shook his head, then leaned down to drop a kiss at your hairline.

"You won't."

You wanted to believe him so badly it hurt but you didn't know if you could so instead you threaded your fingers through his hair and pulled him down to press your mouth to his, his cheek, his jawline, everywhere you could reach, drowning yourself in the right now in hopes that the future would never come. 

"I love you, Y/N. Don't you dare forget it." He whispered it against the shell of your ear before trailing his lips down your neck and the light scrape of his teeth on your skin turned your voice into a breathless sigh as you repeated his words into the air, your back arching from the blanket when he hit a particularly sensitive spot and sent electricity racing through your veins. You may have spoken your love softly but you showed it fiercely, each touch a little harder than the last, each kiss a little rougher and together you burned through the dark like a funeral pyre.

Hope was a dangerous thing to feel; it was fragile and delicate, hard to keep but oh so easy to lose for someone like you, a girl who spent her whole life searching for a home, only to have it ripped away when she finally found it. It didn't matter what you said or how much you cried or even when Kiara and her parents advocated on your behalf, your time on the island was up and just like that, whatever hope you had left disappeared into thin air and left you wondering if you'd ever get it back again.

-

tagging some mutuals who might be interested: @sinkbeneathwaves​ @jiaraendgame​ @sunnypogue​ @alexa-playafricabytoto​ @maybanks​

[chocolatetakoyakis]

⚫️ BAKI THE GRAPPLER HEADCANON : HOW THEY FIRST ACTED AROUND YOU AND THEIRS FIRST THOUGHTS ⚫️

( Basically how you met aha )

BAKI HANMA :

You were a new student in his class, a foreigner, you’re here because of your father’s work

The teacher decided to place you next to Baki

This dork was sleeping when you entered the classroom and presented yourself so he didn’t even noticed you until the teacher yelled at him

When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was your beautiful smile next to him

He apologized with a small brush in his face which made you laugh

Since it’s your first day, you hadn’t your books yet so he proposed to share his with you by bringing his table closer to yours.

Trust me he never followed a class like he did when you were here aha

Awkwardly ask for your name at the end of the class

Probably ask if you want to eat with him at lunch

💭 : This girl is really cute, I wonder what’s her name ? Damn it why was I sleeping !

JACK HANMA :

Ok first, sorry if you’re not but here you are very very clumsy and one day, you bumped into Jack Hammer in a tournament you were watching.

His didn’t even noticed you at first as he was very concentrated about the fight he was about to do

Everyone was so scared when he bows his head toward you

He found you so small and so cute that he didn’t even talk

You apologized to him like a normal person and you even asked him if he was ok which confused him because he was supposed to be the one asking lol

Seeing that he wasn’t answering, you decided to leave him after apologizing again and wishing him good luck for his fights

This interaction completely STRIIIIIIIIKE HIS HEART, he was blushing a little as he entered in the stadium.

After his fight ( that he won of course ) he was looking at the crowd to see you.

Maybe you’ll meet another time ;) probably in the same situation lol. He didn’t get your name but he would never forget your amazing F/c eyes full of kindness

💭 : This girl is so cute but why the hell is she asking me if I’m ok ? I don’t know why but I feels nice...

YUJIRO HANMA :

You two surely met at the bar you were working for months

All employees were scared about meeting him and asking his order, so you had to do it because you could see he was feeling impatient

You tried acting normal and not scared but you couldn’t help but jump each time he was talking

He was supeeeeeeeeeeer flirty “ Sir have you decided ?” “ Yes I am but unfortunately you’re not on the menu” wink wink

You’re his favorite bar maid and apparently your cocktails are the best he ever drunk

Will touch your ass each time you walk next to him and cause you a HUUUGE BLUSH

He is scary but attractive at the same time

Him trying to have everything free by seducing you “ Hey doll, If you give me 5 bottles of Rhum, I engage myself to make you scream of pleasure for the rest of the week”

💭 : Ow..The barista looks hot tonight, let’s see if I can get some

RETSU :

You two met at the mall in very a weird situation because you got stuck in an elevator

You were not alone but you were a little scared of his heigh and his rude gaze

Your thougt completely changed when he started helping a poor old lady who was panicking ans surely clostrophobic

You helped him since you’re not bad at calming people ans you two started to simpatize

You fonded him very nice ans caring behing his scary look

After the elevator probelm solved, you two talked for a while outside the mall

Since it was late, he escorted you to your appartment 

You finally got his number and a date. you were super happy about it 

He found it so cute ans wished you a good night 

💭 :  I never thought, i would met a girl like her today 

SIKORSKY:

During his adventure in Tokyo, Sikorsky went to the store where you were working to buy foods

You didn’t noticed him until he came to you for paying his things

You almost lost yourself in his beautiful blue eyes, which were pretty rare in Japan and he smirked 

As you were scanning his ramens, you two started to talk, i mean, he strated flirting with you hehe

ask for your name and even try to make you laugh which he did because of hs charming attitude

inside of him, he is glad that you didn’t understand he was a criminal, so you’re not really afraid expect about his heigh maybe

The guy behing him started to get angry because he was slowing you down and he was busy

The angry customer got a huuuuuuuge kick in the stomach which made him fly at the other side of the store, you were shocked as Sikorsky finished giving money to you

He leaved peacefully after giving you his name and a wink. 

💭 :  I’ll come back at the send of the week pretty lady ! I hope you’ll be here again !

KATOU :

This thug probably saw you in a famous nightclub in Tokyo

Was drunk for suuuuuuure

Hit on you the second your eyes met ans stay the whole night with you

Wanted you to finish in his bed but even if his compagny ws great, you didn’t

Is supeeeeer disapointed but don’t argue with you since he thinks he got feelings for you and not only lust

Using nicknames all the night because didn’t get your name ( you’re playing the mysterious young lady of the club aha ) like : Sexy, Doll, Hottie 

Glare at everyone who look at you two when you’re dancing together 

Is very proud because thanks to you he can make all the man of the club jealouuuuuuuuuuuus

Buy you the Taxi when you went home, he felt really sad because you didn’t tell him your name. The next morning, he noticed that during the party you took his phone and add your number in it :) He yelled in joy.

💭 :  Wow ! Looks like going to the club with the guys was a super idea..Hi cutie !

HANAYAMA :

Our favorite Yakuza was smoking outside of his building when he saw you on the other side of the street

As he was watching you, he noticed your amazing presence and beauty

You’re a foreigner for suuuuuuure

As you walked peacefully with an ice cream in your hand, two thugs accidentally bumped into you and you dropped your ice cream on their outfits

They started to threaten you in front of everyone and nobody was moving to help you

Well expect Hanayama who saw the whole scene and apppeared right behind them as they were about to slap you in the face

He broke their hands before giving them a warning and let them go

He asked you if you were ok and proposed to buy you another ice cream and ask for your name

You finally spent an hour with him before he had to go for “ business” lol he got your number and never told you he was the most dangerous yakuza of Tokyo.

💭 : That woman surely needs help, how these fuckers dare threaten a lovely woman on my territory.

Guuuuuuuys I’m so sorry 😭 Doyle ans Katsumi were supposed to be there but I had no idea for them

[anillusionofplans]

31,536,000 seconds. 525,600 minutes. 8,760 hours. 365 days. 1 year.

A year. How has it been a year already? Some days I can’t fathom you being gone for a day, let alone a year.

Needless to say, I miss you, Dad.

It’s been a rough year. You know how I am, I take a loss on the chin and keep going but between losing you and being in the middle of a pandemic, shit has been fucking rough. That hole of depression has had some dark days. Days where I’d rather stay in bed and never get up, never eat. However, each of those days I hear you in my head telling me to get up, get out, even if it hurts to move. So, I do it because I know it’s what you’d want me to do.

I’ve been trying to do my best to take care of mom. She has her good and bad days like me, but it seems like the amount of bad days are starting to lessen. Not sure if that is due to my help or not, but I’ll take credit for it.

Some of the songs still make me cry. I think I can make it through the entire song but then the crack in my heart reopens and I start tearing up. I still can’t watch the end of Endgame without crying like a bitch though. I’m pretty sure if you saw how bad I ugly cry, you would fucking howl with laughter. But, I still can’t watch Onward. My hand still shakes and goes numb when I get close to it on the Disney+ menu. I’m still convinced you knew what was going to be coming within the coming months. I’ll never know if it was just a feeling or if deep down you knew but didn’t want to say anything.

I’m forever going to be grateful to Target for giving me that time with you. Even though things were hard and you were in and out of the hospital, I wouldn’t give it up for anything. You were still cracking jokes, still aggravating the hell out of me and mom, you know the usual lol. I wouldn’t have been able to be there for all of that if it wasn’t for Target and their generosity.

The boys still miss you too. They may just be cats but they know you’re gone. A year later they still occasionally wait by your chair, looking and waiting for you to come home. Then it’s like they remember you aren’t and lay somewhere else but still look at your chair longingly. They miss you as much as we do.

I guess I just want to let you know that I miss you. So fucking much and that’s never gonna change. I’m always going to be a daddy’s girl. That’s never gonna change. Was everything always perfect between us, no never, but I did my best and so did you. I think I turned into a pretty decent human being, or so everyone tells me, so you can take it easy and not worry. I hope that everything I decide to go forward and do, that I make you proud. You taught me many things in 29 years. Had many adventures in 29 years. Thank you for all of it. Thank you for teaching me and demonstrating for me how to fight, whether physical, mental, or emotional, never stop fighting. Thank you for teaching me that it’s okay to be nice but don’t let other people walk on you. Thank you for teaching me how to get get myself out of trouble and not be a damsel in distress but also to know when to ask for help if I need it. Thank you for showing me that it’s okay to show weakness but to bring yourself back to fighting strength. Thank you for always willing to drop me off at a concert or to pick me up in the middle of the night if I had trouble getting home. Thank you for the early years of concerts, where you would take me and me friends, get us close to the stage, but then hang back at the bar so that we could still be “by ourselves”. Thank you for teaching me no matter how much or how little I have, to still share with those less fortunate. Thank you to both you and mom for teaching me how to be a good person and how to love those around me. How to love family and friends, and the friends that became family. Just thank you for being my father. I don’t know how I got so lucky but I’m thankful I did. Thank you for being my father. I love you and I miss you dad. ❤️

[domesticmail]

the club

pairing: jj maybank x kook!reader

word count: 1.3k (but it’s a little more like an extra long blurb than an actual fic lol)

warnings: cursing, a lil bit of angst!

requested: nope!

summary: jj hates being dragged along to sarah’s outings, and going to the island club for dinner counts as a stupid kook event.

JJ Maybank was tired of his best friend’s Kook girlfriend dragging them into her Kook life.

Sure, he liked Sarah. She was nice enough, and not necessarily bad-looking. Good personality, yeah, and witty, yes, but a Pogue like JJ had no place in the whole Kook lifestyle. 

It was stupid, actually, why he was here. He didn’t even want to be anywhere near this stupid building, would rather be back at the Boneyard, but John B hadn’t really given him a choice – he knew JJ didn’t have plans that night.

The whole crew, a while ago, had grown bored of eating at The Wreck or The Chateau every night, and had devised a new dinner plan: every Friday, one person would be in charge of dinner. Whether they were eating out or at The Chateau was entirely up to that person, whatever they wanted, and it was their job to pay for it, too. (Since that rule had been established, JJ had become a pretty good home cook, considering he couldn’t pay for going out – not that any of the others in the group would’ve minded covering for him.) Kie had picked The Wreck for her week, John B his own cooking (Kraft Mac n’ Cheese, anyone?), Pope his parent’s (his mother made some damn good dinner). It was Sarah’s turn this week, and she was the first to pick a place none of the other Pogues had been to before:

The Island Club.

He knew he was going to hate it the moment Sarah started talking. Pogues are not meant to engage in Kook events, and Pasta Friday at the Island Club sounded exactly like the type of place he was not supposed to be.

The entrance to the club cemented his belief: two gray stone pillars supporting a painted-white wood overhang that framing large birch french doors. Fuck that. The whole place had that fake, man-made oasis vibe going, but it was so obvious that Sarah loved it, no one said a word. 

“Is this where you guys sacrifice innocent Pogues to your Kook god?” Pope asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Goddess,” Kie corrects.

“No, sacrifices are in the basement,” Sarah answers.

“Ha ha. Funny,” JJ comments.

Sarah and Kie look deadly serious, just looking at each other silently, then at the boys.

“No,” John B. says.

“No fucking way.” JJ raises both eyebrows.

Pope’s mouth forms an O, and he hits JJ’s arm. “Oh my god, they’ve sacrificed people. We’ve gotta run.”

Sarah snickers, and Kie rolls her eyes and beckons everyone into the restaurant. “There’s, like, half a brain cell between all three of you.”

The hostess, a bored-looking kook girl, leads them to a nice patio table under an umbrella, hands out menus and silverware. It’s clear she thinks JJ is cute, and he’s not having it, just listening and nodding, looking anywhere but her. She takes the hint and leaves, and Sarah snorts at him.

“You could try being polite, JJ. She was just making a joke.”

“I know,” JJ says. “I just didn’t think it was funny.” He shrugs.

Sarah looks defeatedly to John B for support, but he just shakes his head. He’s just in a mood, he mouths to her.

The server comes over after a little while, a pretty kook whose name tag reads “Caylee” and has four little thumbs-up stickers in the corner – “Employee of the Week, four times,” she explains with a grin when JJ questions it. He snorts. 

When she leaves, he asks, “What type of person is actually proud of being Employee of the Week four times?”

Sarah grimaces. “People who have jobs.”

JJ looks at her with disdain. “Nice shot, Sarah. I don’t have a job. Ha ha.”

“It’s not a shot, it’s just true. Usually, people take pride in having a job, and in doing well – “

“JJ, don’t be a dick,” Kie cuts in.

“I’m not being – “

“Seriously, dude, apologize,” John B. insists.

“Oh, right, like she’s not the one who was being a dick first. You’re right, guys. Sarah, I’m so sorry I don’t have a job, some of us don’t just get handed anything we want because our family has money – “

“JJ, this isn’t about money!”

“No, no, it is, don’t pretend it’s not! You look down on me because I’m a Pogue and you’re a Kook and you think you’re better than me.”

“JJ – “

“Dude, you’re fucking ruining dinner,” Kie practically hisses, hitting his arm. 

“I’m ruining dinner?”

“Yeah, you kinda are,” Pope joins in.

“Okay, you know what? I’ll fix it. I’ll just leave, how about that? Would that fix this ruined dinner?”

“That’s not what we – ” John B. starts, but JJ stands out of his chair abruptly, cutting him off. He steps away from the table and drops the menu back on the table. 

“Sorry for ruining your night. See you guys later.” 

And maybe that would’ve been a cool way to leave, to storm out like a badass, but JJ quickly realizes he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Or where he’s going. He’s lost, trapped in the maze of country club rooms and gyms and cafes – until he spots glass french doors that look like they lead to the beach, and he breathes a relaxed sigh. His hand on the door handle, he’s ready to get the fuck out of here, and pulls towards him – 

Not budging. Maybe it’s push instead?

Nope. The doors are locked.

Fuck fuck fuck. 

There are footsteps approaching him, tennis shoes squeaking their way towards the doors. Think, Maybank, think.

The squeaky tennis shoes belong to you, who’s just on your way to get more ice for the bar when you see this poor guy. You’ve been working at the Island Club for a year now, becoming acquainted with every member, guest, and friend-of-a-friend who has ever set foot inside the inhumanly cleanly doors, and he couldn’t look more out of place. His hair is a mess, his shoes are ripped in ten different ways, and his shirt looks like it was a bear’s dinner before he got it, not to mention the look of pure panic on his face, the anxiety-ridden get me the fuck out of here right now stamped in red on his forehead. 

You’ve been working at the Island Club for a year now, and you’ve never seen anyone try to sneak in. Especially not such an obvious Pogue.

This’ll be interesting, you think as you approach him. No sense in trying to hide who you are – the bright white Island Club top with the black palm tree embroidered on the upper left is a dead giveaway. You chose a good day to put on makeup and curl your hair, because upon closer inspection, the guy is cute, in a scraggly, once-was-suspended-for-bringing-a-pocket knife-to-school way.

“Hey, you know that door’s locked, right?” You ask, stepping up to him.

He tugs the handle a little. “Yeah, I figured.”

Oh, wow. He really doesn’t know what to do, does he? Look at how helpless he looks! Yikes. “Unless you have a keycard.” You hold up your own, white with the black Island Club palm tree.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he stumbles, running a hand through his hair. “I just, uh, I forgot mine.”

That’s a blatant lie, you know he knows you know, but this is the most interesting thing to happen to you in weeks, so what’s the harm in playing along? You nod in the most indifferent way you can manage, trying not to giggle at how terrible he is at playing this off. “I guess I can just let you in, then.”

His face lights up, a conspiratorial grin appearing on his tan features. He has a really nice face, you notice. With a similar smile, you swipe your keycard across the security pad, a quiet beep sounds, and the door latch unlocks. He winks at you as he exits through the door, and turns around and salutes you as he jogs away.

The walkie-talkie at your hip comes noisily to life as your manager, Emile’s, voice crackles through the speaker: “Yo, Y/N, where’s that ice?”

Right. Ice.

No cute Pogue boy sneaking out of the club.

Just ice.

[purplesurveys]

635

Don’t you think the name Barry is the stupidest name a guy can have?: I never thought it was stupid. I knew a Barry on the Tumblr wrestling fandom back when it was still at its prime. He was funny and pretty popular in our group, so it gave me positive memories of the name. I actually stumbled upon his social media the other day and it’s nice to know he’s still into wrestling and is actually now working as a ring announcer! Some things never change. What do you think of popcorn? Not really a fan. They’re pretty dry to me and it’s irritating when bits of it get stuck in between my teeth. Only Chef Tony’s can do popcorn right, so that’s the only brand I eat.. If you had to spend five straight hours listening to Eve, or Eve 6 which would you pick? I dunno, Eve maybe? She’s the one I’m remotely familiar with between the two. Never heard of Eve 6.

Ever huff house hold chemicals? I don’t purposely huff stuff like markers or glue but it does smell pleasant when I catch a whiff.

Do you like soup? Only miso soup. Soup in general isn’t filling for me, so I wouldn’t call it my favorite.

How about SOAP? I guess? I don’t feel passionately about soap, but like it keeps me clean so I guess it’s okay lmfao. Ever watch porno just to laugh at it? I’ve never done it for that purpose, but when I DO unintentionally land at a porno with silly aspects then I do stay for the laughs lol. Ever watch porno for OTHER reasons? Yep. Who do you like better, Jerry or Andy Garcia? I don’t follow either of their work. Have you ever drawn on yourself with a marker? Not with a marker, because it irritates my skin. I did it a lot with pens though. If yes, what was it? If no, why not? The thing I did most often was write the list of the day’s homework on my palm because my backpack was always a mess then and I was too lazy to look for my notebook. Otherwise I’d usually draw wrestling-related stuff, like symbols and logos. Do you like Christmas? I hate the period of when it’s nearing, but the day itself usually isn’t bad. Do you like your birthday? It’s the day of the year I’m most excited about. Do you trust your horoscope? You do you, but my personal opinion is fuck the horoscopes. Do you trust your friends? Most of them. I keep most of my trust in my two best friends, though. Who ARE your friends? I have two main groups – the friends I made after getting into college, and my high school barkada or friend group, and it’s since grown even bigger since we’ve branched out to include plus-ones that we eventually had. Which of your friends are your top 2 favorites? Angela and Gab, who are both from my time in grade school. Do you hate beer? I hate beer. It’s fizzy and has just a weird rusty scent and taste to it. I dunno if it’s because I’ve associated it with my uncles’ drinking binges where they stunk of beer, but it’s probably one small factor.

Funny note, though: My friend Sam’s uncle had a soft opening for his bar last night and we were invited, but I was a liiiiittle disappointed when the menu only had beers – that meant I had to resign myself with the fact that I’m gonna have to drink beers all night lololol. I still wouldn’t drink it if I had other options, but I honestly liked Red Horse and Pale Pilsen. Also I’m pretty proud that I finished three bottles, which is a lot for a hater like me hahaha. Have you ever dated any of your friends’ exes? Nope. Have you ever gone out with someone even though one of your friends liked that person first? No. I dunno if anyone liked Gabie in the same time I started to. I didn’t want that to change so I went ahead with it. If yes, did you feel bad? If no, were you tempted to? Got any piercings or tattoos? Just earlobes. Monkeys or horses? Probably monkeys. I love both animals though. Book or movie? Movie. Raspberry or strawberry? I don’t like either fruits but I like strawberry flavored stuff a little bit more than I do raspberry. If everyone else in the world stopped wearing clothes, would you? I probably wouldn’t, but it’d be interesting to see how that turns out for those who’d wanna join in on the trend. Do you own anything glow in the dark? I don’t think so. How many guys have you fucked? None. How many girls have you fucked? One. Do you believe in platonic relationships? So… friendships? Yes… <– LMAO ikr? What’s the longest you’ve ever dated someone? I’m still with my current girlfriend and we’re clocking in at 3 years 11 months this January, so let’s hope shit doesn’t go down in the next 30ish days haha. Who do you miss RIGHT NOW? Nacho. The bar last night almost had an impromptu Buwan singing contest (Buwan was Nacho’s favorite song, and it has one ridiculously high note that has since sparked contests and parodies). I prepared myself to go out once it started because I already felt like crying then, but for some reason they didn’t push through with it. Ever cut yourself on purpose? Yep. [trigger warning] Not very good at keeping myself clean either. Do you like penguins? Yes. Do penguins like you? I’ve never seen one. I’m sure there are no penguins anywhere near Asia, too. Most of the time are you happy, sad, or mad? Sad > happy > mad. What’s in your CD player? I think the CD player in my car has always had a Beyoncé album in it that I just never ejected. I think it’s her self-titled album. Would you rather be a rich musician, or a rich actor? Actor. Would you kill someone if you were absolutely totally sure you’d never, EVER get caught? If someone ever did stupid things to my dog, then I’d probably feel like killing them. I frequently refer to people I don’t know as Mr. Man, if you don’t know someone and you’re making referrence to them, what do you say? I just call them “the dude” or “the girl.” Would you rather talk on the phone or write a letter and get one back from that person? Both sound awful.  Own any dice? I don’t think so.

[wesleyv21-blog]

Nearing the end of week one!

Hello, y’all!

Just a disclaimer: writing and speaking in English is already a little difficult, so if I say weird stuff just ignore it lol. Somehow, it’s already felt like ages since I landed; yet at the same time, in the words of a man I had the honor of talking to today, ya no he aterrizado; todavía estoy en las nubes. Hay mucho para contar y voy a empezar con martes.

On Tuesday, we spent our last day in the town of Tababela. After going through various logistical things, a group of us hit the town around early evening/late afternoon to this little pizzeria catered for tourists. It was called Chester’s (after the owner’s beagle), and the menu was even in English lol. It opened not long after the new international airport did, which explains its presence. Needless to say it was a blast, and I can definitely say I will miss the tranquility, hot sun that made you feel at ease with the world, and the hospitality of the inhabitants of Tababela.

We touched briefly on a problem that seems rampant across the so-called Global South. The colonial legacy has such a stranglehold still on the population yet at the same time has facilitated the rise of a new elite who keeps their pockets lined with foreign cash while doing nothing to alleviate social injustices in their own country. This is a problem that will need to be problematized further. También, I had some insightful interchanges with some of the other students about our privilege to even be in this country. We have so much wealth (broadly defined) that has put the world at our fingertips. It wasn’t a matter of if I could study abroad; it was where. I believe this is so telling. Then our academic director, Faba, nailed it on the head: can you imagine a group of Ecuadorian students romping through the states asking random people questions in the name of “research?” Of course not! It would be ludicrous. Yet that is exactly what we would do the next day.

On Wednesday, we were given instructions on how to get to the bus stop in Tababela and to proceed there after breakfast para coger el autobús hacia un pueblo cercano que nos asignaron nuestros profes. My group’s destination was Pifo, a little town to the south of Tababela and only about a 40-minute bus ride east of downtown Quito. When we arrived, we were tasked with finding the city square, observing all we could about it, going up to random strangers to ask them about the town, find a place to eat lunch, and navigate the bus system once again to make it to our hotel in Quito. It was quite the experience. That I lived to tell about it I think demonstrates just how well I and my fellow students can survive in a Spanish-speaking country. What we found out was that Pifo seems to be a “just-passing-through” kind of town, as many of the merchants would only come into Pifo to sell their wares even though they didn’t live there. I talked with a man who was on his way home to Ambato from the airport. He and I ended up having a fantastic conversation about politics and current issues facing Ecuador. Some of the big ones are a massive amount of foreign debt, a national referendum that might amend the Constitution along 7 lines which takes place this Sunday, and the ages-old dilemma of capitalistic investment vs. conserving the environment. Then, we met this other very nice man who ended up problematizing our notion of “poverty.” He told us that too many foreigners come to Ecuador with their preconceived notions of what poverty is when, he said, the reality is that Ecuadorians are rich beyond compare in biodiversity and natural beauty. Ecuador is, in fact, the most biodiverse country per square kilometer or meter or something like that lol in the world. Yasuní National Park out east is actually the single most biodiverse spot in the world. While in a restaurant for lunch, we broke a plate accidentally and ended up having to pay for it lol. Once we had all the info we needed, we boarded the bus for Quito.

Quito is quite unlike any city I’ve ever seen. It’s long and narrow, with the towering Pichincha volcano to the west and the just immense Cotopaxi volcano to the south. It’s crowded, loud, tall, and there’s always something going on. Our taxi from the bus station took almost as long as our bus ride into the city, yet the distance separating our hotel from the bus stop was less than 2 miles. At night, after we got settled, the program directors invited some local Ecuadorian university students to come share their perspectives with us in a panel format; then, we had the chance to talk with them personally. Two stand out most in my mind. One, a 26-year-old architecture students with a wife and child, hailed from a part indigenous, Kichwa-speaking family. His hair was braided in a long braid that reached his waist. When asked about it, he told us that for him, wearing his hair this way was an act of resistance. For too long, the mestizo-dominated society (mixed European and indigenous Andean and Amazonian heritages) have marginalized darker-skinned, indigenous, and afrodescendant communities. For this student, wearing his hair in the traditional way handed down to him from his grandfather was a giant middle finger to this oppressive regime. And he is teaching his son to do the same. He related how one day, his son was made fun of for his long, girlish-looking hair. His son responded that no, he was not a girl, instead he was a proud indigenous boy whose long hair enabled him to make contact with the universe. Apparently the boys who made fun of him went home to their families and expressed jealousy over this boy’s self-confidence and “cool” hair. Isn’t that awesome? This man’s resistance was inspiring for me, even though I come from such a different context.

Similarly, there was a young woman studying sociology. She had quite the structural lens and was very articulate in diagnosing some of Ecuador’s problems in terms of oppressive social structures. When asked about the topic of abortion, she quickly moved onto more enabling aspects of Ecuadorian patriarchy that make abortion so controversial and fatal in many cases. In her perspective, the lack of sexual education in Ecuador is a dire problem that needs to be addressed. This country has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in all of Latin America, and she thinks that a big part of this is the lack of sexual education. But what is there to do in a country dominated by both machismo and marianismo and a conservative Catholic church? In her view, structural changes are urgently needed. It was refreshing talking with someone like her, because even though we are from different contexts, her analysis reveals that patriarchy might operate similarly in different places. Needless to say we got along quite well. After the students left, we all went out to the Plaza Foch, a well-known hotspot for Quiteño youth due to the numerous bars and clubs. I ended up with a group that settled on this little outdoor area with restaurant stalls all selling food and drinks. They had cards and board games in a clear marketing strategy aimed at foreigners lol. I ended up talking with this man who is a Venezuelan refugee. He had come very recently to escape what is a state meltdown in Venezuela. Although he has multiple degrees, he cannot work as that for which he is trained because he doesn’t have enough money to hurry along his application for work papers or citizenship if he wants it. He told me that you have to have money in order to do these things efficiently, and right now he doesn’t have it. So, he works 2 jobs day and night and has no time to even enjoy the money he’s earning. From his perspective, Ecuadorian society was much more reserved than Venezuelan; apparently in Venezuela, people chat and gossip and are much friendlier with each other. For him, Ecuadorians weren’t like that. He also hated the heat and eventually wants to move somewhere colder lol. He was in awe when I told him how cold New England is!

Something I’ve been struggling with today is where I fit in the matrix of Ecuadorian society. Being a white male westerner, I come to Ecuador with two sets of stereotypes attached to me. The first is that I’m wealthy, and as such I represent the legacy of colonialism, the crippling external debt Ecuador owes to many other countries, the sharp divide in material wealth between the global north and south, and the ongoing phenomenon of cultural exportation from the United States. At the same time, I am a target for robberies because of my perceived wealth. I am also just one more foreigner in this country; as such, I am also invisible, I take up hardly any space, I cannot take part in the political discourse of this country, and I have been told to minimize myself as much as possible to reduce the risk of being attacked. I feel that all this cultural baggage I bring with me is contradicting. I don’t quite know where I fit in the order of things, and I have had the privilege of not having to know this for most of my life. In the U.S., my presence and my body are buoyed by just about every social structure we have. Here in Ecuador, I may retain many of those privilege, yet they have been recast to include some feelings of marginalization I have never before experienced. I do not yet know how to reconcile this. But I tell you that I am constantly aware of others staring me down as I pass them on the street. I know that my every action has hundreds of possible witnesses. It is a disconcerting feeling; I feel like an alien. And lol that’s because I am. Yet how do I derive meaning from this knowing that at the same time, I am perhaps the poster child of the global north? I’ll keep you updated on this, because I feel it to be right at the heart of why I’m here in the first place.

Just a note on the pictures below. The first is a breathtaking shot of Cotopaxi, which rises over 19,000 feet above sea level! It’s one of the highest active volcanoes in the world. The second is the volcano of Pichincha, which demarcates the western edge of Quito. The volcanic peak is the one like dead center with the light-ish streak running down it. The last is a picture from a little bridge in La Carolina park in downtown Quito. I will definitely be coming here to hang out and enjoy the little nature escape in the middle of the city!

[thievayaz-blog]

MANOHARA - Week 1

Week 1 in Manohara Resto started from the 12th of July, 2019. It was Wednesday and it was still in ‘Lebaran’ vibe that some of us - especially me - feel not ready to get into the reality that we have to do the EFT in Practice. I still remember, it was at 9.00 a.m and we have to went to Avadhana in Manohara Hotel. The managers - Mr. Agus and Mrs. Titik - greeted and welcomed us at that place. We were not ready yet so during that time we were just keep quiet. 

Here is how we looked like on that time (it shown by Ricky’s face btw). Ah... We went there with Mr. Ferri of course. He is the lecturer in charge for Manohara team. 

On that time, Mr. Agus and Mrs. Titik told us anything like what to wear during the practice days, what to do with this and that, how to do this and that, and more. Well, they are really kind. But...

For the first, I thought it was going to be an observation day only so I thought we were just going to go around the Manohara Hotel and Manohara Resto but once again, I got something unexpectedly. 

I’m not going to grumble but it was really unexpected and I hate the fact that I was tired and mad that day. 

So... 

Yeah...

We really had a walk around the hotel that I got some picture like:

It was the space in front of Avadhana room that lead us to Vitarka hall. 

We went outside, had a walk around Avadhana like we visited the managers’ room, the hall, the hotel rooms (even though we couldn’t get to see how is the inside room) and some other rooms. 

Then when we were done, Mr. Agus lead us to Manohara Resto and there is the real place where we work. The Manohara Resto is located near ‘Pintu 8′ that it is little bit far from the Manohara Hotel (because we went there through ‘Pintu 7′). 

When we arrived there (ONCE AGAIN I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST GOING TO HAD A WALK OR SOMETHING), we went down straight to where the Manohara VW Outlet (it is something like a food-truck) and the Manohara AVIS (AVIS refers to Audio Visual, I am going to tell you more about it in another post). 

Still with the thought that we were going to had a walk together as ten members but unexpectedly (gosh... Why do I like to say ‘unexpectedly’?), Mr. Agus asked me and Ricky to stay at the Manohara VW Outlet and helped the people who are in charge in that place. 

For the sake of my life... (no I’m kidding)

I’m at loss because... WE STARTED TO WORK ON THAT DAY!

We really started to work on the day when I keep thinking that it will going to be just an observation day, that I’m just going to have a walk around the place, that I will be home at the napping time. 

Honestly, I was mad at that time because everything shocked me and I couldn’t get why... 

I think it was the first picture taken in Manohara VW Outlet.

There, I got to meet Mrs. Rini and Mrs. Sri Widarsih, the person in charge for the Manohara restaurant, Manohara VW Outlet and Manohara AVIS. 

That time, Mrs. Rini and Mrs. Sri were there too to help the chefs and the casuals. I remember that during that day, the Manohara VW Outlet sells about 300 burgers up until 3 p.m. No wonder I feel tired and because I think I’ve made about a hundred pieces with Ricky when the chef - it was Mas Hendi - went up to the restaurant and we were the one who help the other chef - Mbak Novita but we call her Mbak Nobi. 

There... I got to learn how to make burger and I’m a professional at making burger now with my status as English Department student LOL (I AM KIDDING EVERYONE DONT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!)

The first day - let’s count it as the first day - was like that and I was just tired and mad and tired and mad and tired and.. STOP VAN! The first day ended at 4p.m. We were going home and distressed LOL

***

Then the next day...

The second day...

THE OFFICIAL STARTING DAY...

We’ve got our schedule and yaaa... I was so happy because I got to be in Manohara VW Outlet again and my thoughts remain the same, that I will just make hundred pieces of burger. 

Here is our schedule if you are curious. 

The blue one means we have to be in Manohara VW Outlet so as you can see, I have four days straight to be there and I was like... OK, be strong Vanny!

The second day was little bit easy by the way. Maybe because I’m done with the things and I was good enough to make burger without their order. That day was not so hectic because the visitors are not as much as the first day. We weren’t making 300 pieces of burger.

Ah! I almost forget to tell you! I’m going to talk about Manohara VW Outlet in another post so don’t worry! 걱정하지 마십시오!

The second day... I started to talk much than before because I finally got to know each person in Manohara VW Outlet. 

Nothing special in the second day so I’m just going to skip to the third day where I GOT TO BE CLOSER TO THE PEOPLE THERE!

The third day... (UWUUUUU)

I got to show them how I really am - the talkative me. It shocked them by the way. The thought I’m that type of person who is calm, graceful, and something like that but the fact is I AM SO LOUD (LOL).

Nothing special on the third day. It was not that hectic too and maybe because it was Friday, the visitors were not that crowded. 

And the third day happened to be like that.

Then the forth day...

The special thing to be happened in the forth day was the new menu. It was pizza and I was not that good at making it.

The fifth day...

I still got to be in Manohara VW Outlet. I became more pro in making pizza and I was a pro at making burger that when there was a new casual, Mbak Nobi told her that she should ask me because I am good at making it that time. I FEEL SO PROUD OF COURSE! I could tell that they trust me.

Then the sixth day...

HERE WE COME WHERE I FINALLY MOVE FROM MANOHARA VW OUTLET!

The sixth day, I had to be in Manohara Resto and it was the first time I had to come to work at 6 a.m. It was so cold and on that time I got to meet about 100 guests for Manohara Sunrise Package (I am going to tell you about Manohara Sunrise and Sunset Package). I helped them out like checking out which menu is getting empty, do the clean up, do the set up, fold the napkins, taking orders, giving the bar-codes to the tickets, and more. The atmosphere in the restaurant was little bit different from the Manohara VW Outlet that I felt more happy to be in the outlet rather than in the restaurant. But once again... It was just time which will help me to face anything and be able to feel happy in every places. 

And so...

The first week in Manohara ended by me getting a morning schedule in Manohara Restaurant. 

[sinsiriuslyemo]

For fluffy Rafael Friday

Okay, there’s a tad bit of angst in here, but it’s short lived, most of it is fluff!! Also, I know it’s too early for V-Day, but it came to me, so I wrote it down lol

A Stranger Proper

Origin story of Valentine’s Day found on markmerrill.com

Valentine’s Day. One of the most romantic days of the year, or so it was thought to be by most, mainly the hundreds upon thousands of companies that profited from the idea of romance. In actuality the story of Valentine’s Day followed the beautiful, albeit tragic story of a simple Christian priest who secretly married soldiers before they went off to war during the third century in Rome, when Cladius the cruel had cancelled all marriages and engagements in order to recruit more warriors for his army. Valentine was eventually captured and imprisoned where he fell in love with the blind daughter of his jailer.

On the eve of his execution, and without a writing utensil at hand, he squeezed ink from a violet to pen the love of his life a sonnet. According to historians, this sonnet was said to have granted the jailer’s daughter her vision. The next day, Valentine was clubbed to death by Roman executioners. Eventually the priest was sainthood by the Catholic church, and they created a feast in his honor, deciding on February 14. This was the real story; the one that Hallmark and Ferrero Rocher failed to remember, instead urging people to buy their cards and chocolates.

Despite his appreciation for the history, Rafael had long ago grow tired of seeing couples strolling along the snowy New York City sidewalk, of the looks he would receive when he entered a restaurant and polite asked for a table, just for himself.

“Might you be more comfortable at the bar, sir?” the maitre d asked him, plastered smile on his face.

Why no, as a matter of fact, he would more comfortable in a booth. But instead of arguing, instead of subjecting himself to more looks of pity or scrutiny, he simply nodded curtly, and sat himself on one of the stools. He was alone, not that he wasn’t accustomed to it by now, but now even the bar was practically deserted save for the man coming in to pick up a takeout order for a romantic evening at home with his wife.

No one around him understood the true meaning of St. Valentine’s Day anymore. Not the couple seated in the booth five feet away from him, not the man getting to his knees and proposing to his loved one in the far corner, not even the bartender, who was currently in the far corner of the bar sharing a kiss with one of the waitresses. None of these people knew nor seemed to care of the sacrifice one man made for love so many centuries ago.

Finally, he was approached and asked for his order, and he was as pleasant and polite as he always was. Despite this he still received a look of sympathy, as though he was supposed to be sad about being by himself. He wasn’t. Not terribly anyway.

The stool beside him groaned after a few minutes, and he turned to see a young woman, possibly in her late twenties or early thirties sit down beside him. Long, wavy hair in what can only be described as beach curls, which he found ironic considering it was well below freezing outside, ivory skin, flushed red at the cheeks from the cold, and beautiful, lively eyes. She was stunning.

“Valentine’s Day,” she said as her eyes rolled dramatically. He smirked a little, nodding his head.

“My sentiments exactly,” he answered, taking a sip from his scotch.

“I bet none of these people realize that they don’t have to buy flowers and candies, go on romantic dinners just to celebrate Valentine’s Day. St. Valentine sacrificed his life so that love would be celebrated every day,” she mused, looking over the menu and ordering a glass of Dreaming Tree Crush when the bartender came back around. “Moreover I could do without the unspoken pressure of having to have someone to spend the day with solely because it’s Valentine’s Day.”

He couldn’t help the snort that escaped him at the nasally voice she assumed for the last three words she said, and he glanced over at her, arching a brow.

“How many people have offered to set you up this week alone?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“Seven. You?”

“Three,” he answered, a little sheepishly.

“Looks like I win the battle of the singles over at the bar,” she teased. “I’m Y/N,” she added, holding out her hand, which he gently shook.

“Rafael.”

“Rafael,” she said. He smirked, deciding he liked the way she said his name. “Would it be alright if I sat next to you, at this bar, and enjoyed a delicious glass of wine and a meal without any expectations of romance?”

His smirk grew into a smile and he nodded his head as the barkeep placed his meal in front of him.

“I think that would be acceptable. Welcome to the Contently Single on Valentine’s Day bar,” he answered, holding up his glass for a toast. She didn’t hesitate to clink his glass with hers, taking a small sip from her red wine and humming at the taste.

She ordered her food– a medium rare filet and broccoli– before turning towards him again.

“So…Rafael, what do you do?” she asked in a friendly tone.

“I’m an attorney,” he answered.

“So you’re a lia-yer,” she replied playfully. He smiled around a mouthful of grilled salmon, looking over at her as he swallowed, shaking his head.

“I’m not that kind of lawyer,” he responded.

“There are other kinds?”

“I’d like to think so. I work at the DA’s office.”

“Oh, so you’re a good lia-yer,” she toyed, taking another sip of her wine as she watched him snort again.

“I try to keep myself honest,” he said softly. “What about you, what do you do?”

“You should guess, it’ll be fun.”

He set his fork down and looked her over, scrutinizing every beautiful detail of her face before he took in her attire, a long sleeved black and purple shirt, it appeared to be cotton. Her hair was perfect, her makeup minimal, nails unmanicured but well kept.

“Office manager,” he guessed. She shook her head.

“Do I really look like a professional manager person?” she asked, almost proud of herself for being able to pass as such. He smiled again.

“It was just a guess because I couldn’t gauge any hints from your appearance,” he replied honestly. “Do I get another guess?” he asked, if only to hear her speak again, maybe receive another whimsical smile.

“Nope.”

“That doesn’t seem very fair,” he mused, squinting his eyes a little. “Entrepreneur.” He guessed anyway.

She made a noise that resembled a buzzer, taking another sip from her cabernet.

“I’ll give you one last guess,” she said softly.

“Hmm…” He gave her another once over. “Lawyer.”

“I always tell the truth,” she teased. “Writer,” she relented. “Clichè, really. I write mostly romance novels.”

“Really?” She nodded as her steak came out, and she smiled thankfully at the bartender, ordering another glass of wine. “Anything I may have heard of?” he asked, taking another sip of his scotch before he scooped up some more of his blackened salmon.

“Are you a huge fan of romance novels?” she asked quietly, grinning.

“Obviously so, why else would I be sans significant other on Valentine’s Day?” he replied, and she laughed, the most beautiful song of a titter.

“Right,” she said after sobering. “I write the A Stranger Proper series.” She blushed, a most humble blush and he couldn’t help the smirk that came over his handsome features.

“My mother reads those,” he mumbled. “She loves them. My abuelita, God rest her soul, was a fan as well.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your…grandmother, right?” He nodded.

“Thank you.”

“Well, it means a lot to hear that I have even one reader, let alone have had two at once,” she said sincerely.

“Based on the New York Times Bestseller list, you have quite a few more than one. What is it…twelve books? Is that right?”

“Eleven,” she whispered as the bartender brought out her steak.

He gestured to her plate as she cut into the meat, and a nice trickle of blood oozed from the beef.

“You’re brave, ordering your steak medium rare.”

“Honestly, that is how steak is meant to be eaten. I’m sorry, but anyone who orders steak at any higher temperature than medium should just get the chicken. They obviously do not like steak,” she answered, popping a piece of the filet into her mouth and humming in content.

“I think I would agree. A beautiful cut like a filet especially.”

“Why anyone would dare to asked for a well done filet is beyond me. They should be clubbed in the street,” she added.

“I don’t know if I would take it that far,” he replied, polishing off his plate.

“You’re way too nice then,” she surmised.

They continued their conversation until finally she’d finished off her own plate, and they each paid for their tab, walking out onto the sidewalk together.

“Well, it was really nice enjoying a meal beside you that had no expectations of romance, Rafael,” she said, sliding on her gloves.

“Yes it was,” he replied, not wanting to part quite yet. “Would it be acceptable to ask you if you would care to walk beside me with absolutely no expectations of romance?” he asked hopefully.

She smiled at him, a wide genuine smile that he wished to see every day, as often as he could.

“I think that would be acceptable yes,” she answered and he offer her his arm, a gesture of habit. “Ah ah…that’s romance,” she warned playfully.

“So we take a romantic walk in the freezing cold on Valentine’s Day. So what? At least you can be sure I won’t be reciting a sonnet,” he replied, smirking. She laughed, taking his arm and letting him lead her towards Central Park.

[sumergosuigeneris]

June 30, 2019

Yesterday was a busy, exhausting day. But I feel good about it. Mostly.

Friday night, around 2am, there were fire trucks etc all over my building. At first I thought it was a car crash, because those happen here all the time. But I got curious and looked out the window and couldn’t see any car. Plus, then I started hearing things in the hall. Made me wonder if they were all up in our building. But no alarms were off. So then I started wondering if there was something wrong with the alarm (not likely) or that it was something that they might evacuate certain floors rather than the whole building. I mean, I did keep hearing things in the hall. I actually got in some clothes and prepared for me and the cat to go. Nothing. I had stayed inside b/c I didn’t want to get in the way, but finally the tension/curiousity got the best of me. Didn’t see anyone, didn’t want to go in the stairwell in case I’d be in the way. Ended up having a conversation with another lady who opened her door. Came back into my apartment, and they’d all left. That whole situation was about an hour. But I couldn’t sleep for a couple hours after that.

So, I slept in yesterday morning. Decided to go out for a healthy-ish breakfast. Went to eye hop. Disappointing. What I got served was a lazy man’s edition of what was in the menu. And, while I thought I was doing good with 650 calories, it turns out that’s a shit ton of points! Made me do some thinking. They say the average American diet is 2k calories a day. I forget sometimes that that should be 1600 cal for women. And that average doesn’t mean healthy either (since I’m confident I eat over the average). So, anyway thinking 2000/3 meals is 650-ish, I’m doing well. But really, after all my thinking, I’m thinking if I’m going to eye ball, a healthy meal is probably around 350 calories. Because depending on what those 350 are, they’re more or less points.

Then I went and played racquetball. I was hot as hell and had no water, so I only played about 40 minutes. Went to get coffee, and one of my barista people gave me a free one. While we were talking, I found out her sister had died in March or April. Her mother had died only a few months before, so she was pretty messed up. I wish I’d known, but I wasn’t going there very often, and when we were both there, she was always super busy. On my way from that bucks, I stopped at the community center and signed up for a lap swim membership! And I finally stopped at that gay bar that’s in my neck of the woods. They were open, and it’s really nice inside. I’m gonna go. Eventually. Thought about going last night for a drag show but didn’t. It means a lot to me about that place, because I live in a primarily black area, and the queer community has a tougher time when it intersects with the black community, so this bar, being there for decades? was really an oasis for black queer people at an even more intolerant time than we live in today. I got a little misty-eyed thinking about it. Came home and tried to nap. Didn’t.

Decided I needed to figure out some other things to be productive, b/c I needed to go out again to another bucks to get my 3 days in a row deal. Decided to get a bit of shopping done and maybe treat myself to a pedicure. My feet are always tore up and I think of a pedi but never do b/c they’re expensive. And I’ve talked about it for about 2 years now lol. So, I did that. I think it’s been over 10 years since I’ve had one, and I’ve only had a handful over my life. I’m so grateful that there was a really nice younger woman sitting next to me. She had to translate and give me remedial pedicure lessons, so I could make my choices. I let her pick out my nail polish. It’s a really nice shade of peach-ish/hot pink. Not too wild, and not too conservative. The girl said my feet were in great condition considering I hadn’t had a pedicure in a decade. That’s something I guess? I got a bit of a massage from the chair which was a bonus, and finally did some reading in a book I’ve started a few times.

Then I went to wall smart. Usually, I have a bit of a running list in my head of what I need/ want when I get paid. But this time, I really had to think. I got a bunch of stuff that are always on the bottom of my list, but forgot the one thing I decided to treat myself to - sheet corner fasteners. Oh well. Next month perhaps.

One thing on the list was to check for some shorts and/or tank tops so I can try to get some more color. Dude. I asked a couple of ladies (one was on the dressing rooms, the other may work there but wasn’t on the clock if she does) their opinion on one thing, which turned into them helping me with half my options. Which turned into me trying on, for the first time in my life, leggings. And they didn’t look bad on me! At least compared to a couple other things I tried on lol. So yeah, I bought leggings. It’s crazy. And, I found a tank-ish shirt style I liked, and got it in a size smaller than I expected! And they were really nice and telling me I need to be more confident in my body. And anyway, one of them asked to exchange numbers with me and said we were gonna be friends. We’ll see. But it’s always nice. I can’t help wondering if she felt sorry for my lack of confidence in the clothes thing; if she wants to like ‘mentor’ me. But she was super nice and I’ll take it!

I picked up some church is chicken (eh). Watched some little lies big (which I’d binged Friday night by accident), and went to bed. Oh also, I deleted the phone game I’ve been addicted to the last few weeks. It’s pointless, if I think about it. There’s no ‘end’. Nothing to win. Just endless achievements combined with endlessly increasing hardness. I’m kind of proud of myself.

Now today the question is how productive I’ll be. I need to apply for some jobs. Check out the status of that work transport thing. I really want to do some cleaning. I’d like to do racquetball 2 days in a row. And maybe get my swim on. Might need to return some of those clothes too - with the other stuff I got, like cat food and window wiper fluid, I spent $169.69! I did find a pair of $7 shoes that I like despite the fact that I’m surprised I like them. No open-toed sandals though lol.

Hmm. i’m looking at my feet and she didn’t take all the callous buildup off. I’m surprised bc she used what looked like a damn cheese grater, plus a pumice stone type thingy. And a scrub. But I guess it’s probably a good thing. Technically, that stuff is a bit of protection.

[greggreaen]

I GOT MARRIED!!! How I Planned my Wedding | Enchanted Oasis Part 1

AHHHHHH!!!!! I am officially married to my best friend, the love of my life, and my partner in everything…Sam Livits! After 10 years of being together, we walked down the aisle, said our vows in front of all of ur friends and family and had THE MOST MAGICAL day of our lives! The ceremony was so emotional for both Sam and I. I don’t know what it is about weddings, but it heightens all the feels. I was laugh-crying (but like a different kind than I had ever experienced) as I was walking down the aisle. I am so grateful to have found my soul mate and am soooooo happy that we got to spend our day with the people we care about most.

I am currently in a state of bliss but also majorly crashing from the high. No one tells you about these post wedding blues. Ugh. I never wanted it to end!! So that’s why I NEED to do a lot of blogging – to keep the happy feelings alive!

So, this is part 1 of the Enchanted Oasis Wedding series! In this post, I will tell you everything I did to plan the wedding of my dreams! And let me warn you…I let my creativity and extra-ness run wild! Ready!!???

#1. FINDING THE DRESS

As soon as I got engaged in Kauai, my sister IMMEDIATELY booked some bridal gown try on appointments in LA! OMG I cannot tell you how fun this was. I truly felt like all my princess dreams were coming true. Like, can I just do this for fun all the time as a hobby!!???

I decided to keep my “audience” small for this. Low drama. Not too many opinions. So the only people in attendance were me, my sis, and the person helping me put on the dresses! The mission? To find 2 gowns. An ultra grand one for the ceremony and a whimsical, romantical one for the reception!

The designer we ended up choosing was Galia Lahav! Walking in to her store was like walking into a haute couture dream. Here are some of the stand outs I tried on!

This is the Gia. I was so close to getting this one! The corset fit so well and the skirt was just so flowy.

Okay, I just had to try this on. A bridal cape!!??? Why not!!!

As soon as I put the Lidya, I knew this had to be my reception dress. I loved the little polka dots and how the dress hugged my silhouette. It was the definition of romantic. I ended up customizing the dress by adding fluttery drop sleeves to soften the look.

The train on the Ms. Elle was DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA and I LOVED IT. I mean, when else in life can you really drag a huge train behind you?!!??  I loved how the exquisite little beaded details on the dress elegantly complemented the low back before it waterfalled out into a longest tulle train I have ever seen!!! This was TRULY GRAND.

To customize the gown, I ended up changing the color to blush, I added in a dramatic low V detail to the sweetheart in the front, changed the low back to a V shape as well (to help make my booty stand out!), and then added fierce side cut outs to accentuate my waist.

Then I waited several months to even get a first look at my gowns! They were all hand crafted in Tel Aviv!

#2. FINDING THE VENUE

This was really hard. We spent several weekends driving all over California trying to find the most magical, whimsical venue that “hadn’t been done” before. I basically wanted a modern day castle on the West Coast. So, my sister and I looked into renting out private estates.

The problem? Well, at first, a lot of the listings we ran into were fake! Some websites collected pictures of gorgeous venues in Italy and France and then put it in a gallery to trick brides! Then when contacted, they told me to pay a fee to see the venue. Like…what!!??

So after running into a bunch of those scammers, scouting numerous hotels, countless wineries, and some beautiful homes – nothing felt right.

I was exhausted from looking, so I took a break for a couple months.

Then one night…I came across a random real estate listing that ended up leading me to the PERFECT venue: The Solomon Estate in Rancho Mirage, CA.

When Sam and I first walked onto the property late January 2018, we fell in love!! It oozed glamour, class, and Gatsby vibes all with a west coast feel.

The best part? We found our dream wedding planner. When I first met Laurie Lund of The Events Department (she’s the planner for this specific estate), I was drawn to her positivity and her energy. She’s such a happy person!

I told her everything I wanted to do (which included miniature horses and other crazy wild ideas at the time), and she was ALL IN. To be completely honest, I do not think our dream Enchanted Oasis wedding would have happened as seamlessly as it did without Laurie. Not only is she an experienced veteran in the wedding planning business, she’s so giddy and happy about all the details as if it were her own wedding! The woman is amazing and truly made my journey to wedding day as fun as can be.

(Oh yeah, and just for fun, there’s a “mini” lake in the front :P)

Finding the venue is what set the tone for the wedding theme. Three themes that really stuck out to me were “Enchanted Forest”, “Boho Desert” and “Tropical Jungle”. I cannot tell you how many hours I spent on Pinterest (probably thousands) trying to figure out what I wanted. When I couldn’t find a theme that was exactly what I was going for, I decided to mesh them all together to create our own: “Enchanted Oasis”.

#3. THE INVITATIONS

Now that we had our venue, and we knew what the theme was going to be, the next step was to create the invitations! I wanted to set the tone for Enchanted Oasis RIGHT AWAY so that our guests could start dreaming up what was waiting for them!

I knew from the beginning of time that we HAD TO  have acrylic invitations! (Thanks Pinterest.) I also wanted it shipped in a classy box so that the whole opening process would feel luxurious.

The logo you see of “Sam & Cassey” came to be from a bunch of doodles I was making back in February. I had an issue with “Sam” looking like “Jam”. It took a while to figure it out!

I am fortunate to have learned graphic design and how to use Adobe Illustrator back when I was an intern at a fashion design company in college. Those are the same skills I use today at work! And the same skills I used to draw the custom monstera leaf cut out for the acrylic. (The leaf was my sister’s idea by the way.) There wasn’t anything like that on the market (boy don’t I just make wedding planning so easy on myself…LOL) so I had to find someone to custom laser cut the acrylic leaf shapes for me!

Then I ordered supplies, DIY’d hard, and made an assembly line at home. My sister became a pro at folding cardboard boxes and I fine tuned the art of stuffing small boxes with live moss. It was tedious labor.

Though oftentimes unsure of why I have to make things so complicated for myself, Sam understands my hunger to embrace art and design. He’s always so supportive! I am proud to say that Sam and Jackelyn’s boyfriend Nick helped on the assembly line too!

#4. THE FOOD

Sam and I are foodies. We love eating. A lot. In fact when we first met, we both gained so much weight because we explored restaurants and even fast food joints as a hobby. Hahaha.

Since Sam and I are of two totally different cultures, we wanted to unite our guests through food. So, we worked with Fusion Flair to create a totally authentic menu that would represent both the Chinese and Vietnamese flavors for my side while also paying tribute to the Israeli and Jewish side for Sam. Instead of doing a sit down plated dinner, we got everyone up and tasting “cultural tapas”!

Ah yes, the tacos. No they are not Asian or Mediterranean, but they were there to represent our life in LA okay!!??! And we didn’t end up going with the tomato soup and grilled cheese (though it was super good) and opted for a vegan gazpacho instead to be more veggie friendly!

The tasting was SO MUCH FUN and we were SO FULL. Chef Heng did an incredible job with the food. Everything was extremely flavorful and delicious.

#5. THE CAKE

The one cake that Sam and I both equally love is Blue Velvet Cake. Have you ever tried? If not, YOU MUST. We first discovered it at MILK in LA when we first moved here together. It’s so buttery and dense! With fresh blueberries and thick cream cheese frosting (ugh I am salivating as I write this), you cannot go wrong!

So we knew even 5 years ago that our wedding cake HAD TO be blue velvet! I called up MILK to ask if they could make our wedding cake, but unfortunately they’re not in that business. So we asked our wedding planner to help us find a bakery out in Palm Springs that could help make our cake. Laurie recommended Exquisite Desserts and they did not disappoint!

Here’s what our tasting looked like. All sorts of cake flavors and a wide variety of frosting flavors. Everything was SOOOOOOOO GOOD. But nothing beat the blue velvet. So, we decided to go all in and get the ENTIRE 4 tiered cake all in blue velvet with cream cheese frosting!

#6. THE MATCHA BAR

Sam and I LOOOOOOOVEEEEEE matcha!!! So much so that we even made a shirt that is one of our best sellers on POPFLEX:

Since I don’t drink alcohol, and I know some of our friends don’t either, I wanted to create a unique bar experience. We thought that in addition to the regular bar bar…why not also have a matcha bar!!??

I reached out to my friends at Midori Matcha and asked if they’d be down to make this happen. They had never done a matcha bar for a wedding before, but were excited to make it a reality for our cocktail hour!

Midori also catered the matcha desserts table for the reception! Above is a photo from our initial tasting. OMG everything was SOOOOOOO GOOD – but ESPECIALLY that matcha croissant. I basically LIVE for it.

If you guys are ever in Southern CA, check out their newest Midori Matcha Cafe location in Old Town Pasadena at 165 S. De Lacey Ave #1049, Pasadena, CA 91105! They also have a cafe in Little Tokyo and Orange County!

#7. THE FLOWERS

Did you know that the amazing person who did the flowers for our wedding also did the flowers for the Bridal Bootcamp series?

Jeany, the owner of Lovesome Blossoms is also a POPster and she reached out when she found out that I got engaged! It was so special to have a florist who I felt connected with!

The photos that inspired everything floral for the wedding were this cupcake photo from Baker P (OMG look at that color palette)…

…and this whimsical chuppah photo from Mark’s Garden.

To create the “oasis” look, we decided to incorporate some tropical greenery! We specifically chose to decorate with the Monstera leaf – yes, the same leaf that I drew out for our acrylic invitations  – to bring out the tropical-ness!

#8. THE LIGHT BOX TENT

In 2016, Sam and I went to Australia for my POP Pilates tour and while there, we walked through one of the most beautiful structures I had ever seen!

This light tunnel was so magical. It never left my thoughts. So when it was time to design the outdoor tent for our dinner reception, I knew we had to recreate some version of this!

Here’s a picture of me admiring the tent construcuted by BRIGHT 2 nights before our wedding. At this point, it was totally still in progress and did not have the hanging florals and glass orbs that Jeany would later suspend from the top!

#9. INCORPORATING PETS

Before we got our puppy baby love Sir George the Magnificent, I wanted to have a miniature horse walk down the aisle with our flower girl! Yes, totally leaning in to that magical theme. But then…in January 2018 we were blessed with our first puppy, so we canceled the horse idea and began thinking of interesting ways to have Sir walk down the aisle!

(Don’t mind his back arm – he just got a shot at the vet and they had to shave him!)

At first I was like, maybe he should float down the aisle in a hot air balloon! Then we deemed it too dangerous.

Next, I was like, let’s have 4 men in tuxedos carry him down the aisle in a Cleopatra style bed! Jackelyn and Sam were like NO.

I thought I was close when I decided that we should construct a mini rose parade float for him to ride on! But there was no way we could find someone small enough to “drive” the car beneath the float.

Finally, Jackelyn had the genius idea of having him drive down the aisle in a fancy car.

BOOM. So that’s what we did.

#10. THE FIRST DANCE

Sam knows I love dancing, so when it came time for first dance discussions, there was no negotiation that it would be a choreographed number! I was so surprised at how much Sam embraced the lessons and the rehearsals. In fact, most of the time, it was HIM who initiated dance practice at home!!!

“New Light” by John Mayer was our song of choice. Why? We just liked the song! We learned a fun two step by our dance teachers at Your Night Choreo!

#11. THE CALLIGRAPHY

My goal for 2018 was to learn how to do calligraphy. I NEVER expected to do it for our wedding, but when the person who was supposed to do the calligraphy bailed on us, I was left with no choice but to do it myself! Through numerous YouTube videos, one live class, and tons of practice, I eventually got here:

Not bad, eh!?

I am still trying to find my style, but I am proud of how far I’ve come in less than a year! I’m glad that person bailed because the situation made me a better calligraphist!

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  A post shared by Cassey Ho (@blogilates) on Oct 13, 2018 at 10:08am PDT

#12. THE SURPRISE

Concerned with cocktail hour (I’ve been to so many weddings where this time period is just so awkward and boring), I wanted to have an activation that would get everyone talking and having a good time!

First I thought…tethered hot air balloon? We tried, but then found out we didn’t have enough space.

Ferris wheel? Eh, but then kinda scary.

Maybe a rotating swing set!? Someone’s gonna be whacked.

Then I thought…wait a minute…a carousel!!! A carousel would be so whimsical and magical! The imagery of our friends in their evening gowns riding the horses with their legs swept to one side was all I needed to lock down the idea!

This was no easy feat though. The Solomon Estate did not have a carousel. We had to bring it in. It was almost impossible at first because we were told that the big semi truck could not fit through the side of the house to get to the backyard.

But then Laurie had an incredible idea. Bringing in the pieces one by one, by hand. Amazingly, Christiansen Amusements agreed and made it happen!!!!

YESSSSS now that is the level of commitment to excellence that I’m talking about!!!!

Oh boy.

That concludes part 1 of the Enchanted Oasis Wedding series! The planning!

If you loved the visuals but want EVEN more, watch me and my sis talk ALL wedding deets with over the top giddy-ness in my latest YouTube video!

Until part 2…tell me…what would your dream wedding be like?

The post I GOT MARRIED!!! How I Planned my Wedding | Enchanted Oasis Part 1 appeared first on Blogilates.

I GOT MARRIED!!! How I Planned my Wedding | Enchanted Oasis Part 1 published first on http://www.blogilates.com

[deladane]

Day 16: Friday, March 16 ~ Sea Day #4

Day 16: Friday, March 16 ~ Sea Day #4

I am so sorry to say that I forgot to take photos of today’s daily schedule.  On all of my previous cruises, I brought home all of the daily schedule papers so if I forgot to take any photos, or if I realized one of the photos was blurry and needed a re-do, I could flip through the pile of papers and get what I needed. This time, we were very tight on space and weight in our bags so I decided to leave all the papers behind. I thought I had taken all the photos I needed, and I almost never refer back to the originals once I get home, so why bother schlepping all of that extra weight?  Well, it looks like I did accidentally miss taking photos of the schedule for today, so I apologize for that.  

After going to sleep so early last night, I was awake at 7:15am today.  I couldn’t fall back asleep and I didn’t want to wake up DH, so I quickly got dressed, grabbed my camera, and left the cabin to walk around the ship taking lots of photos of the public spaces while they were still vacant.  I already posted all of these photos at the start of the review, so I won’t repost them here.  About an hour later, I arrived at the Solarium.  I was getting hungry so I stopped by the Aqua Spa Café for a light breakfast.  They have a bunch of options set out on individual plates, and the options remained the same for the whole cruise.

Dry cereal canisters

Fresh fruit and turkey wraps with tomato, kale, and cinnamon sweet potato spread

Avocado bruschetta on multi grain toast with mashed avocado, tomato, chive, and grated eggs; a whole wheat bagel with peanut butter, apple, bananas, and blueberries

Zucchini muffins, banana nut muffins, and 3 types of fruit and nut bars (apricot/coconut/walnut/honey, pumpkin seed/chia seed/raisin, and dates/almonds/figs/apricot/honey)

I picked out a muffin and an apricot and nut bar, and I ordered one of the juices from the menu.  This was the Purple Rain, made with blackberry, blueberry, pear, apple, and acai.  Everything was light and tasty, and it was a nice change from the breakfast I ordered from room service on all of the port days.

After my light breakfast, I continued walking around the ship, snapping more photos.  At 8:45, I went back to the elevators outside of the buffet, planning to head down to the cabin and see if DH was awake yet.  When the elevator doors opened, guess who stepped out… DH!  We had perfect timing!  I asked how he knew where to find me and he had a funny story to tell me… When he first went to look for me, he went to the MDR to see if I was eating breakfast there.  Cervine was standing at the hostess stand and she told DH she had seen me stop by at 8am when the MDR first opened so I could take some photos, and then I left. Glad to see she was keeping track of me and that she let DH know I had been there!  That’s when DH decided to go up to the buffet because he was planning to wait for me up there, assuming that I would need to eat breakfast eventually. When I ran into him, I told him that I had already eaten a light breakfast at the Aqua Spa Café.  He thought that sounded good so we went back down there so he could get something to eat.  Of course I couldn’t let him eat by himself, so I took another mini-muffin and fruit and nut bar.  I also ordered a pina kale juice, made with pineapple, kale, cucumber, and I skipped the ginger.

After breakfast #2, we went back to the cabin and relaxed on the balcony for a few hours, just gazing out at the endless ocean and watching the waves pass by.  At noon, it was time for our next feeding so we went down to the buffet for lunch.  The theme was Falafel and Kebabs, and they had a station set up with several kinds of each.

I tried 2 kinds of falafel but didn’t care for them. The lamb kebab with tzatziki sauce and hummus was quite tasty, as was the pasta and pizza of the day.

We took some dessert to go and brought it downstairs to eat by the pool.  I love red velvet cake, but this was very dry and I didn’t like it at all.  They made a huge apple pie in one of the paella pans, and that was delicious!  I was tempted to go back upstairs to get more but restrained myself.

There is a section of upright chairs and couches when you first enter the pool area on the starboard side.  Whenever we had trouble finding a vacant lounge chair, we could usually find a place to sit over here.  It was close enough to all of the action in the pool and with the DJ and activities team, but still far enough away that we could have our own little quiet corner.

We pulled 2 of the chairs to the side and relaxed there until it was time for pool volleyball.  DH really wanted to play pool volleyball, but he was disappointed to learn it is only offered this one time through the whole 2 week cruise. They have a tournament where several teams compete and the winning team goes on to then compete against a team of ship officers.  Flory was hosting the event and when he asked for volunteers to play, DH ran right over to him.  They had enough people to form 3 teams, so Flory divided the players up and DH’s team was playing in the first round.  They had a few minutes to practice, and then started the game.

DH’s team won this round, so they got out and the losing team played against the third team.  I think the third team won that round, so DH’s team got back in the pool and they played each other to determine who goes on to play against the officers.  DH’s team was really strong and they won the tournament!  They had a few minutes to rest, then Flory introduced the officers and it was time for the final round.  

DH serving the ball

The teams were pretty evenly matched so the score kept going back and forth for who was in the lead, but in the end, the officers pulled away with a victory.  To be fair, they probably have more practice considering they get to play pool volleyball on every cruise, whereas the people on DH’s team likely haven’t had as much experience.  In the name of good sportsmanship, everyone walked away with a medal and Flory lead the crowd in a rousing rendition of “We Are The Champions”

Volleyball ended with just enough time for DH to get dried off before we had to go up to the Sky Lounge for music trivia.  At this point in the cruise, our teammates were counting on us showing up to help with the more current songs, so we couldn’t let them down!  There was no real theme today, just a bunch of random songs, but our team did really well. We scored 24 out of 30 points, but of course another team scored 29 points and beat us.  We were okay with that though because we were proud of our team’s performance.

After trivia, I wanted to go watch the hot glass show because this was the last one on our cruise, and DH went back to the cabin to change out of his bathing suit.  When I arrived, Tom was working on a vase with a pretty twisting pattern on the outside.

It is so impressive how these guys work together so seamlessly.  This was Tom’s project, but Jeremy jumped right in there to do the blowing work. They worked together as a team with an almost unspoken knowledge of what needed to be done.

When they pull out the giant gloves, you know the project is nearly finished.

Right around then, DH showed up with a little treat. We get drinks like this at one of our favorite restaurants at home in San Jose, so he was super excited to find it on the ship.  This was the Margarita Coronita from the new menu at the Sunset Bar, and DH drew a lot of attention as he carried it over to the hot glass area, with everyone wanting to know what that was and where he got it lol

(yes, he is still wearing the medal he won from the pool volleyball tournament haha)

At the end of the show, the gaffers raffled off 4 of the pieces they made during the cruise.  Since the next cruise would be the last one with the Corning Museum on the Eclipse, they wanted to clean out some of the older projects.  I really hoped we could win one of these because they were all so beautiful, but unfortunately, we were not that lucky. The man sitting right next to me did win, so I was close, but not close enough!  This would have made an incredible souvenir to bring home from the cruise.

There is a funny story about that larger piece on the far right side.  That is a giant bowl with an irregular shape.  Tom gave a disclaimer when he picked that piece to be part of the raffle. They usually give out some bubble wrap to protect the pieces for transport home, but he warned us that the larger piece would not survive airline travel.  He said he normally puts a piece that large into a crate for special shipping, and that if we were flying home after the cruise, we could not have that piece.  He said that if the first 3 tickets he pulls belong to people who are flying home, they must pick the 3 vases, and then he would do another raffle for only the people traveling by car to try to win that large piece.  As it turned out, the very first ticket he picked belonged to a lady who lives in Florida, would be driving home from the cruise, and who really wanted that big piece! It was fate for her to get it!  I would love to see how she put that on display in her home because it was really quite large and heavy!

Tonight was our last Elegant Chic night, so after the raffle ended, we went back to the cabin to get ready.  

After a quick photo shoot outside the entrance to Blu, we went to the World Class Bar for a few pre-dinner drinks.  DH had the Zacapa Old Fashioned and I had the Celebrity No. Ten.  I love how it worked out that they are on the same page of the menu for easy photographing hehe

I don’t think I posted this yet, but this is the wine and cocktails menu from the MDR.  It was the same menu for the whole cruise.

 Tonight’s dinner menu

Creamy Salmon Rillette

Elderflower Blush cocktail

Broiled Lobster Tail (I requested 2 lobsters but only 1 portion of the side dishes)

Creamy Wild Mushroom Risotto

Dessert Menu

We skipped dessert tonight because we wanted to hear Back Before Sunset playing in the Grand Foyer.  They always put on a lively set that is worth checking out.

On most cruises, they do one of the big production shows on formal nights.  Eddy said that he likes to save that for the last night of the cruise to end on a high note, so tonight’s show was more subdued.  It featured the 6 core singers from the shows, each singing a Broadway showtune of their choosing, backed by the Eclipse Orchestra.  As I’ve already mentioned, we are big fans of Broadway shows, so we were looking forward to this performance.  They all have wonderful voices so it was great to see them show it off!  They sang songs from Motown, Les Mis, Cabaret, Guys and Dolls, Jersey Boys, and a few others.

The ladies sang a “Single Girl’s Medley” where each sang one of these songs:  On My Own from Les Mis, Maybe This Time from Cabaret, and I Don’t Know How to Love Him from Jesus Christ Superstar.

Then the men all sang Bring Him Home from Les Mis.

After the show ended, they had another event called the Liar’s Club.  This is a game hosted by one of the women from the activities team, and the contestants are Eddy, Captain Leo, and the comedian from last night’s show, Dan Wilson. They pick a word that most people have never heard of, but it is really a real word, and the 3 contestants try to convince the audience of what the definition is.  After all 3 have had a chance to say what they think the word means, the audience votes by applause as to who we think said the correct definition, and then they reveal who really got it right.  They used 4 different words, and the contestants did everything from just stating “oh, I know that word, the definition is ****”, to telling a big long-winded story to explain the meaning of the word.  Some of their replies were funnier than others, but it was a clever game and we learned a few new words in the process!

Does anyone know what zopissa means??

The show ended around 11pm, and we went back to the cabin to rest up for our last full day of the cruise.

Step Tracker Daily Total:  9302 steps; 3.761 miles; 18 flights of stairs

[nighwing77]

May 31- 2017

Okay here goes: Screen on my phone is messed up so having to type blind. The menu is too big-sooo having to type blind as I said. Well it is official: TA is pregnant! She made some post over a couple of weeks and now she has a pic on FB with that black dude with a beard with his head on her belly. I first found out he end of April that she was pregnant from Cpl Johnson, over a phone conversation when I was in RPU 5 I think. Didn't get the Grievance Officer job. I might get the disciplinary job but who knows. Hardin told me I was "liked" for the position and he was told by CPL Powell. I hope I get it. I am Sooo broke. Had to borrow money from Cousin Shelia. Paid her back when I got paid but she is having a hard time getting it from Western Union. Didn't get my Viola out of Pawn shop but did make payment on it. Car says maintenance is required. Cpl Booker- half Hawiian and Half black chick from HAB- is on vacay. Cpl Robinson saw Cpl Booker and she said she is going to try to come back. Called Cpl Fronte down to RPU 4 yesterday and he brought Arnold with him. Hayes and Curry got into it. Curry is a bitch. I don't like him. Vera locked up. And Arrendo is a scrub. Golden State and the Cavs in finals. I haven't seen GOG 2 or Logan. Hope I can see Wonder Woman. Mom is starting to like new priest. But she seems to never be satisfied. I pray our relationship gets better. Called my son twice Sunday but I think his heart is going cold. I pray for our relationship also. I think Kim Jones is in love! That is good. Misty Walker is having a baby. I had to split my rent this month. I hope I can pay rent this month. And get a second job. I read 5 chapters of Psalms a day and 1 chapter of Proverbs a day this month. That was good. I finished Psalms yesterday and Proverbs today! Brother has a new job as a computer analyst-so proud! The Finn boys are coming up! Miles and Tucker and Kirk retired this month. Songs: Drake-free smoke, Jeremiah-I think of you, Beyoncé- shining, Kendrick- be humble,Wale - Fashion week. Been having a crush on S. Johnson. And c. Nelson-S. Nelson's sister. Dyer quit over that mess Simmons got him in in HAB. Henderson walked out Monday. Nash may be gone. Jones put in for police job. Hawthorn gone-good riddance. On the Harvey show they talked about the back of your ear stinking, like why it do that?!?- I thought it was just me -lol! Series on prayer from Turning Point has been good and they even did a segment on journaling which got me more into this. Haven't heard much from Dunbar- just write a paper on Ruth. Went through a 2 week binge on wanting to be a nurse and ending up as nurse executive of CNL. Still not sure. Side bar: I talked to Ms Caldwell on FB for her birthday. That gave me the strength to get big that I sprayed and ran under my couch when we had a tremendous storm at the end of April. Mr. Howell left them came back. Thank you God for all you have done for me. I pray I suceed in my endeavors and make it out of this hole and rut that I am in. I love you and cherish you. I have relapses that I know I do willingly but please be merciful to me and my family. God is great!