#She is really doing her best
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It's Officially Been A Whole Year Since I Last Hurt Myself. Yay!🎉
I would scratch at my eczema patches until they bled as a way to snap myself out of a negative spiral that results after an argument, nuerotypical v nuerodiverse clash where I am always in the wrong and the screw up and the one who did wrong again and I really should know better by now since that's what my mom kept saying and these fights/disagreements/me just plain being wrong in general about how I process stuff were with her.
It started as a stop getting upset over this stupid thing you dumb fuck, and turned into more of a sorta self punishment for fucking up yet again, cause my patches were on my wrist so it would sting a couple days after.
Last time I did it was really bad, like, super bloody, my dad saw and didn't make a big deal out of it. He's relaxed like that and keeps secrets for me.
Cause of that there's a tiny little mark where I scratched that no one sees but me cause I know whete this is
But I haven't done it since, so yay!
And no, I've not been able to tell my mom about this cause she'll get all you're blaming me and guilt tripping me(which she thought what me crying all the time during fights were cause she doesn't understand rejection sensitivity disphoria) and pull some religious bull shit I don't need when I tell you the way you act and wrre raised and the harmful beliefs you hold hurt me and make me want to punish myself but that's a whoke nother can of worms that I've gotten into with friends already.
I'm pretty sure that's like, religous trauma, one of my friends says yeah it is, and I should probably go to therapy or something but I've got no money(I don't have a job) so I just bottle it up and try not to explode when something pokes the pressurized bomb that is me🙃. Which is why I'm shouting this out into the void of the internet, gets it off my chest.
Anyway, I'm getting an autism diagnosis this Wednesday, so I'll probably have to tell the doctor some of this.
But yay for no self harming for a year!
#tw: self harm#implied self harm#eczema#wellness#Adhd#nuerodivergent#nuerodiversity#My mom is not abusive!#She is really doing her best#She was just raised in a very nuerotypical strict enviornment so my responses to stuff are me doing something wrong to her#It's not an actively malicious thing#She doesn't know#But she's not abusive#tw: blood#autism#autism diagnosis#autisic#VJS#Therapy
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Here's your quote preview from Roz & Jack's take on The Creeping Shadow, chapter 3 (The Tipping Point):
"No, that would put me off my pancakes." —Holly
Pancakes? Is celebration in order? Who knows...
#lockwood & co#lockwood & co fanfic#roz & jack continue l&co#the creeping shadow#holly munro#give this woman a vacation#she is really doing her best
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one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."
I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.
#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome#but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE#a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me#and that he really wanted to get to know me#so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him#and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex#total shocked pikachu face#I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again#DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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SCIENCE BEGETS TRUTH✨
#ace attorney#my art#ema skye#the text behind her also says 'SCIENCE BEGETS TRUTH#and she's holding two micro pipettes haha#I really liked doing this one tbh... it's fun silly ace attorney stuff but behind it is a message I truly believe in too!!!#I used to work in a lab. I thought I wanna gunna be a scientist#I'm an artist now though (as you can see haha). I hope AU scientist me is out there living her best life!#this art is a love letter from me to ace attorney and to science!!!!#thank you everyone on patreon for voting for me to draw ema skye
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#good omens#´hello friends!! how are you!!#I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` )#I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey#usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from#most of the time I just get a stuffy nose#has my nose gotten stronger#but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁)#it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet#but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (:#and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors#I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set#the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer#but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet#unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home#which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car
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brienne the blue 🌙🌞
#brienne of tarth#a song of ice and fire#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#mine.#tarth has the best house sigil fr#I really like how this turned out honestly…!!! doing minimal rendering feels like a cop out for me#but I think it works here…!!#anyway look at her new armour it’s so cute I think I want to draw her in this one more 🥰🥰🥰#love the silver tones in her outfit then she has this one glaring gold and red sword… its jb to me.
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Thanks for listening to my sad backstory. Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan xichen#lan wangji#madam lan#This normally would have been two separate comics but I felt like it was a far better joke to have them together.#Enjoy the rare double feature comic!#I was listening to this episode - scripting out and preparing for a longer and heartfelt comic on this scene.#And then Lan Xichen pulled out his flute and started playing unprompted.#I could not contain my laughter. I know it is trying to be emotionally resonate and the flute is pretty but...#It really does have the energy of “Okay thanks for listening to my tragedies and traumas. I don't know how to segue out of this.”#This madam lan design is inspired by Qourmet's design! Really good stuff that I was not able to do more with in this one panel.#Speaking of...I know it is ambiguous on purpose and we are only told what happened through LXC's POV but...#I always interpreted madam lan's passing as a suicide. I think LXC was told it was illness to soften the blow.#She was stuck in a house with maybe a servant coming by to give her food. One day a month she saw her children.#Of course she was warm and loving in their memories-#She was trying to give them a version of her that would be remembered as such. She wanted to protect them from the truth.#She did her best but she was already dead a long time ago. She must have felt like a ghost haunting a house.#Love to her was waiting. And both her boys inherited that view of love.
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HC they first met a year or two after Yelan got her vision; post fighting the in abyss but when Kaeya was still navigating his identity from Kaeya, Brother and Right hand of Diluc Ragnvindr to Kaeya Alberich, Cavalry Captain and Quarter master of the Knights of Favonius.
#We know Kaeya's a bit of a sadist and does leave his men in the dark most of the time#Back when he he'd been newly appointed i feel he'd be quite reckless as to how much 'pushing' his knights could handle on missions#used to working from diluc's shadow rather than being the one to direct commands#And Yelan after her experience in the Abyss chooses to work alone and secrectively so that the lives of her comrades won't be in danger#She sees that Kaeya operates very much like her but he does not have the luxury to work as 'freely' as she does when it comes to official#missions for there are still people working under him#(ofc both of them do whatever they want when it comes to going of abyss side quests)#There's no way she doesn't feel some sort of kinship they're really similar in many aspects#she does not want to see a repeat of her certain mistakes#Yelan is also questioning how the actual fuck do the knights operate because why is a 16yr old beefing with her to get to a mafia boss firs#They come to 'good terms' as time passes where they have mutual respect for each other#both of them try their best to outwit each other form time to time of course#Kaeya being petty(er) and Yelan being 'i need to set this guy straight'#But back then after seeing Kaeya work missions for the first time Yelan's thinking that this kid is too smart for his good#additional hcs for Back In That Day#Yelan: -still hasn't gotten her signature bob. -often uses a crutch because Abyss did a number on her and her pre existing chronic illness#Kaeya- has a fuckass mullet#yeah.. my apolocheese for the ramble#genshin impact#genshin impact fanart#kaeya#kaeya alberich#yelan#yelan genshin impact#kms mention
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never gonna stop losing my mind over this scene i fear
#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#wwdits spoilers#laszlo x nadja#ladja#laszlo cravensworth#nadja of antipaxos#they're so in love i truly can't#couple of all time#gosh i'm. really happy we got this from nadja as well after his scene to her in ep5 <3#the. i love you for you not for the hero you feel like you have to be to deserve it 🥺 something just like this coded#also her mentioning his hair. so real it is one of his best qualities#and the similarites between both scenes with them bickering & sitting back to back but so close to each other still!#old married couple fr#only thing that would've made this scene even better was if they kissed fr. even in the background or something#but it's alright in my head they did#and yeah while she obvs doesn't really need it i still do think that him training the monster specifically to protect her was a lot#god i love them so much. it is i who can't live without them i fear i can't believe we only have 2 eps left :(
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Danny and Damien are twins au, but a slightly redeemed vlad makes Danny the CEO of Vlad Co and DALV and all his other shell companies. Danny is danny, he got pushed into this against his will and is very overwhelmed by CEO duties, so he reaches out to one of his father's sons, Timothy Drake-Wayne, for advice
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So, danny definitely knows his heritage in this au. He was the spare to Damien's heir, and while their relationship was strained by the constant competition, they still love each other, even when Danny started to show more proficiency in infiltration and subterfuge than assassination. Damien and Danny have a huge fight before Danny leaves, with Damien swearing to never forgive Danny for his betrayal, while Danny is like "what betrayal??? I just cant bring myself to kill someone outside of self-defense??"
(One of the things I hate about Danny and Damien Twin AUs is this depiction that, just because (usually) Danny is unwilling to kill, that makes him weak and a traitor. You think the medical staff in the LoA are assassinating people? Or the lawyers? He's not useless, he's just not good as an assassin)
He was sent to the Fentons at like... seven? eight? to study how the Fentons are purifying lazurus waters from Jack and Maddie, both of whom are partly sponsored by the League of Assassins. He's also learning more about spying from Jack, surprisingly, because no one would expect him of being a top tier spy. He has the occasional mission as a child, but it's mostly shadowing Jack to learn how to spy.
Danny sends letters to both Talia and Damien regarding updates on his training and the Fenton's research, but after a year of no reply from Damien, it's only to Talia. He's feels super hurt by this, and abandoned by the LoA, but the Fentons are kind and familial, and Talia visits once a year. She's unwilling to risk visiting more often, lest she risk getting the JL or the Spiders attention, but sometimes she even manages to visit on his birthday!
(Meanwhile, Talia starts sending birthday assassins to kill Damien so she can spend their birthday with Danyal. She's a really hot and cold mom.
Talia: You can choose me, and have a birthday dinner. Or you can choose your father and have a birthday assassin. You're choice. )
When Slade blows up the LoA, Danyal is given permanent orders to remain as Daniel Fenton until Talia, and only Talia, brings him back to the League. No missions and only one letter every six months. But when Ra's comes back to life and the League is back in power, Talia... never tells Danyal. Because she's seen how happy Damien is being a normal child with their father and wants that for Danyal too. Plus, she wants to continue to have a good relationship one of her children, sue her bruce.
So Danny is completely convinced that the League is mostly gone other than his mother, her zealots, and knows that his brother is living with their father. and he's... relieved. His brother is safe, and his mom told him their grandfather was avenged, so Danny can just enjoy his life. Which he does.
He sends out his six month report days before the portal accident.
Canon stuff happens until Danny is sixteen and Vlad, the fruitloop, steps down as CEO and strong-arms Danny into becoming CEO in his place. Jack and Maddie (who at this point know [or have always known in Jack's case, adn Danny didn't appreciate his dad using his his poker face against him like that] about Phantom) are thrilled.
Vlad is using his "foster son" (Dark Danny, but in this idea, he's Dante Masters) as an excuse as to why he's stepping down, since Dante needs all the attention he can give as a "troubled youth". Danny secretly hopes Dante kills Vlad in his sleep, but signs the papers away.
And there's so much work.
Danny has some idea of what he's doing (Vlad co is a tech company and DALV is weapons manufacturing, plus vlad gave him a crash course on CEOing). Sam and Tuck even help! But he wishes there was someone who could understand the pain of being a CEO while still a teen. But... his father's son, his brother, is one such person. And even though the other would never know, he really wanted to get to know his other siblings. So Danny reaches out for advice to Timothy Drake-Wayne.
Tim is immediately on guard when this Damien clone walks into his office claiming to be the new Vlad Co CEO. The clone acts nothing like Damien, but he still thinks this Danny Fenton is a league plant.
His paranoia doubles when Damien freaks out and confesses that A) Danny is apparently his twin brother and B) that he's been with the League of Assassins this whole time. Damien, who really doesn't want to admit that the reason he forced himself to forget his brother was because said brother didn't want to kill people, says "Tch. I didn't want to associate with the likes of him, so I put him out of my mind." Tim now believes that he's dealing with a master assassin with a huge grudge against Damien and Danyal showing no signs of malicious or aggression in their meetings only convinces him that Danyal is a master actor too.
Which, Danyal is a master actor. But all that other stuff is just Tim reaching.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp crossover#dc crossover#danny and damian are twins#for some reason explain danyal's backstory was really important to me#c: danny fenton#c: damien wayne#c: talia al ghul#c: tim drake#talia can be a brainwashed mom trying to do the best for her kids and be cold and calculating#she has the range#this au is all about the batfam freaking out about the LoA having control over these massive companies#and meanwhile Danny is having the time of his life getting to know his adoptive brother#and saving the environment with Vlad's companies#tim constantly takes the most innocent comments from danny as evil threats#danny compliments tim's family and tim nearly lunges across the desk to strangle him
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Something I really like about timebomb is that Ekko actually knows what he's getting into.
I'm not really seeing it get talked about but in season 1 they mention that Ekko and the firelights help people addicted to shimmer get off it and lead more fulfilling lives within the community. I should probably rewatch the scene for the exact wording (might be misremembering tbh) but that comment implies A LOT.
First: Ekko's mission is helping people where he can, he would probably try and help Jinx even if he wasn't in love with her
Second: He has experience dealing with severe mental illness as that often goes hand in hand with drug abuse, namely depression/suicidal ideation like what Jinx was exhibiting
Third: He's probably mapped out best course of action FOR dealing with this and has already figured out his own limits/boundaries. Meaning he knew what he was getting into trying to talk Jinx out of suicide, and was thus more equipped to deal with the aftermath
Fourth: He's probably helped ex members of Silco's gang. The firelights seem to have a theme of healing and repairing and recovering, so they've probably also learned to forgive. If they're mission is to rebuild the lanes into a safe space, they can't exclude people they don't like, they have to make room for them. I think they fought Silco out of necessity, and I doubt Jinx would be the first person they help who's killed one of them.
These all might be a bit of a stretch but I think it really fits. Beyond that, it shows that Ekko can ACTUALLY help Jinx. As much as unconditional love can do, Ekko has the tools for Jinx's recovery and a path ready for her. He also probably knows that her "healthy" will look different from AU Powder's "healthy." On top of that, I expect he knows how to respect her even in the middle of psychotic breaks and won't agitate her already frail mental state
#if you would like to (respectfully) disagree with me I'll GLADLY talk with you. I can think of nothing but Arcane atm#timebomb#ekko arcane#putting it in the tags bc I want to let people agree with my timebomb takes without having to listen to my other ship opinions#uh on that note I have some Caitlyn and Vi opinions that go a bit hand in hand with this#but I think that in contrast Caitlyn and Vi are mutually self destructive#see neither of them seem to make the others mental health... better.#Vi is desperate and needs love wherever she can get it#and Caitlyn... I'm not sure. I have a hard time reading her but a lot of the vibes I get off her feel like she just likes having the power#over vi#I KNOW THAT'S A STRONG CLAIM#hear me out#Vi in her search for unconditional love does a lot of enabling#a good example is when Caitlyn arrests that henchman in episode 3(?)#Vi is VISIBLY uncomfortable with that and for good reason!#Caitlyn just locked someone up for life for... nothing?#kinda like Marcus did to her (yes Marcus was trying to protect her but I doubt that's how Vi sees it)#but Vi doesn't voice this or push Caitlyn on it#instead she asks Caitlyn not to change#not great communication on Vi's part#but also indicative of how little their values align#and how little Caitlyn actually considers Vi and her problems and history#Caitlyn doesn't help Vi heal and she turns on Vi the second Vi stops enabling her and letting Caitlyn do as she thinks is best#neither of them are ready to deal with the others problems or communicate well#again. willing to discuss this. my opinions are swayable.#I just personally found Caitlyn made the most sense and was most compelling when she was going down facist dictator path#sure she could be more but I don't think the show ever really transitioned her away from that#you can see it in the way she treats Maddy#hhhhhh I should go to bed rather than spill every last thought I've ever had
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BONUS ART!!
the luau scene 🥥🌴🌺🍍
#dreamworks trolls#trolls band togeather#branch trolls#poppy trolls#viva trolls#john dory trolls#my art#i wanted to do art for the full scene but i just dont have the time or energy :(#anyway to answer a bunch of peoples questions! yes john and viva work at the same restaurant#and both of their baby sibs also happen to be best friends#even after branch lost his colors poppy has stuck by his side#viva and clay were also childhood best friends but when he moved away she got closer to jd#“ really poppy? in front of my chocolate muffin don't be gross ” :P#“ oh don't be a baby branch ”#“ it's not gross if its true! i read her diary ”#!!! “ im not a baby!! im older than you! ”#“ pfft yea by like 3 months lol ”#they continue to bicker like that until total ellipse of the heart plays on the speakers#which then triggers branch into having a panic attack and JD loses his job :(#lilo and stitch au#thinking of renaming it lost and found au#baby groppy#implied future vivadory#fanart#doodle#sketch#trolls#screenshot redraw#trolls au#lilo and stitch
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YELLOWJACKETS
#I've wanted to make this for a long time and it's nothing at all like what I set out to do#I was going to have Laura Lee's doomed flight and Jackie's death and praying to the gods of the dirt and the girls running w weapons raised#lottie screaming as they board the rescue plane#in short: a horror story#and instead I ended up with an SOS in red lipstick#the living holding hands around the dead they are all doomed to become#the team doing their best to feed themselves on their limited knowledge and looking out for each other#even the girl they don't really like#the group finding hope in lottie's faith passed to her by laura lee#and ofc the horrible spectacle they become in the media#I guess what I'm trying to say is I set out to paint Shauna as a liar but she's telling the truth#that IS the end of the story#it was beautiful and horrible#and it was a love story#yellowjackets#yellowjacketsedit#shauna shipman#lottie matthews#misty quigley#laura lee#taissa turner#akilah yellowjackets#flashing gif
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jazz and danny jazz and danny i’m beggin i need the sibling content
got your back and you’ve got mine
#danny phantom#danny phantom fanart#dp#dp fanart#danny fenton#jazz fenton#jasmine fenton#blah blah don’t tag as ship etc#that’s probably obvious but y’know#a wild jazz appears!! she’s the best tbh i should draw her more#ney’s art#these are really fun to work on bc it’s neat to work with simpler shapes#i spent so much time doing like… fully rendered pieces#gotta flex both muscles tho so once i take a break i’ll do more of that
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and then the memories is all you have
#my art#digital art#illustration#sona#tw animal death#i gently held her body for the last time before i tucked her in her little coffin#and she fell asleep under the snow#i cant believe ill never know how it is like to hold you ever again#happy new years everyone#i dont have the energy for a big retrospective#ive been doing my best to achieve goals but even when i succeed life just keeps getting harder#thats okay i suppose theres nothing to be really done#i hope you enjoy the art#no worries ill be around
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