#She is at the very least ‘friends’ with my ex whom i happen to be madly in love with so. I can’t have nice things. Apparently.

[fagdykebassboy]

ok im very very exclusively t4t However. There is this girl (?)(im pretty sure) who is veryy cute and totally my type whatevr ok maybe i do have a bit of a crush whatever its fineee this always ends well for me (lies)

[hemmingsleclerc]

Scandal!┃CL16-MV1

I just want to say I love w all my heart charlotte so I'm not trying to hate on her, she looks very friendly but I just used her for her pics with charles

Also I had this idea on kylie and timmy's ''relationship rules rumours'' she put on him, poor timmy😭😭

instagram

f1_gossip

Liked by 183,573 others

f1_gossip According to reports, there is drama in the paddock! It all started when rumors came out of testimonies close to the couple where Aurora (Charles' new girlfriend) has imposed ''rules'' in her relationship with the driver!

"First, Aurora wanted him to cut ties with all of his exes, especially with the female driver, with whom he is still very close", Let's remember that Leclerc and Y/LN dated for almost 3 and a half years but they separated and they remained on friendly terms, before this they had been friends since childhood and the model ''did not like that'', they tell us.

comments

username girl what the fuck??

username stop, pls you're literally a ''model'' bc your mommy knew people and got u a job, on the other hand, Y/N has trained her entire life for that sport and she is super talented and has achieved all that by herself, stop embarrassing yourself.

username IF SHE MAKES SURE WE NO LONGER HAVE MOMENTS BETWEEN CHARLES AND Y/N, SHE WON'T LIVE TO TELL ABOUT IT FRRRR

ynln

Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 1,845,295 others

ynln Made some great memories in Miami, had dinner w friends, and podium celebration this weekend, see u on Imola <3

lewishamilton fun night!

username I miss charles' comments on her posts 😭

maxverstappen1 🤘!!!

landonorris why wasn't I invited?

ynln bc I hate u

landonorris lol wth? I literally apologized 5 times for laughing at your pic,pls :(

redbullracing 👏👏

charles_leclerc

Liked by scuderiaferrari, aurora.official, and 1,642,795 others

charles_leclerc A little bit of blue and leo ���👑Miami, thank you

aurora.official SO PROUD OF YOU BABY!!!😍😍

username girl okey we got it, now stop.pls

username PLS- THE WAY HE CROPPED HER FROM THE PHOTOS 🤣🤣🤣

scuderiaferrari blue suits you 🩵

username you look so good on blue cha 😭💗

cha_yn

Liked by 843,537 others

cha_yn I miss my parents, pls they were so in love 😭😭💔

username the way charlie looked at her

username my man was so deeply in love....

username she used to shine more when she was with him :(

twitter

comments

username Ok max having a crush on yn wasn't on my bingo card this year

username ok but what a great and hot couple they would both be

username I SEE IT 👀

rebullracing

Liked by ynln, maxverstappen1, and 739,539 others

redbullracing P1 and P2!!! What an amazing race for our team, very proud of max and yn!

ynln ❤️‍🩹

maxverstappen yes baby!

username did anyone saw charles' face when yn and max celebrated together??? no?? okey

f1_gossip

Liked by 429,683 others

f1_gossip Apparently after the great victory of both Redbulls, both went out to celebrate at a bar and sources claim that both were "very comfortable around each other", what do we think of this?

username nooo, I was still hoping charles and yn came back :(

username I'm here for their reputation era

username Idk if I want to be yn or max

aurora.official

Liked by charles_leclerc, herbestfriend and 284,626 others

aurora.official My baby got P3!! I'm so proud of him❤️❤️

username girl,do you at least know something about the sport?

aurora.official duh

username :/

maxverstappen1 has posted a story!

caption: yn send me this pic earlier today and thought I needed to show u, do we look alike?

charles_leclerc has posted a story!

music: I bet you think about me-Taylor Swift

twitter

f1_gossip

Liked by 947,594 others

f1_gossip What the hell happened between these two?? In the first practice of the weekend both drivers fought! According to some fans who came today, Charles approached Max furiously while he was yelling at him and Max wasn't far behind! What could have happened between these two?

username STOP WHAT IF IT'S FOR YN!!?!??!?!

username WHAT IS HAPPENING

username what the fuck 😭😭😭

Part2

[tealvenetianmask]

I want to talk about a kind of troubling reaction I've been seeing to both Apology Tour and Ghostfuckers among parts of the fandom. The person is usually a reaction youtuber but sometimes someone writing on tumblr or twitter. They say something along the lines of "oh, I'm glad Blitz is being forced to confront his crimes/traumas/pain. This is the only way he will finally heal."

That's not how healing works.

I know that reaction youtubers don't always have the most developed takes because they're . . . you know . . . reacting in the moment. But I think it's still worth talking about.

I'm going set aside the people who seem to believe that Blitz needs to be punished for his crimes, and address those who genuinely think that getting a tidal wave of his own trauma in his face is what he needs to heal.

There's an attitude in contemporary culture that traumas are something people need to confront. As in, put on a brave face and dive in like a big boy. I blame capitalism, rugged individualism, and all the pieces of media that tie up a character's arc neatly by having them confront their darkest fears and insecurities. It can put a nice bow on things, but it isn't really how healing from trauma works.

Apology Tour:

Blitz gets confronted by a shit ton of people who hate him, at least some of whom are his exes, who he feels he's personally damaged. The decor and party games are all about killing and torturing him. Verosika confronts him about how much he hurt her. Oh, and then he sees the love of his life, who he's just recently pushed away, making out with another guy- proof, in his eyes, that Stolas is happier without him. And this all reflects the underlying fears he already has about who he is as a person (shown to us by Truth Seekers).

So what was the takeaway? Blitz came to the conclusion that he doesn't always want to be like this (good, but like . . . worth this much pain?). He flops on his steering wheel (relatable). He stops trying to reach out to Stolas (uh oh . . . ). He spends A MONTH spiraling in his own misery and making a mess of all aspects of his life until he's dragged out of it by a caring friend.

The party doesn't empower Blitz to change. It knocks him down and fucking traumatizes him (seriously, images of Stolas from the party show up later in his trauma reel) too much for him to be able to do actually work toward said change. I suspect that if left to his own devices, he would have kept spiraling for quite a while longer. It's one thing to want to change, and another to try to do so alone in the aftermath of a pile-on.

Ghostfuckers

After Blitz drags himself out of his hole of cheesy ice cream and despair to "play sex ghosts" (escapism, again, still knocked down by Apology Tour), infester demon Rolando picks him out as an easy target and assaults him, yes, assaults, with horrific images of his worst traumas and fears.

Not to state the obvious, but Rolando isn't interested in helping Blitz heal. He's trying to kill the guy. He wants to engulf Blitz in his trauma to the extent where he's consumed by it and loses the will to fight back. And as some excellent posts by others have pointed out already, he very likely would have succumbed if not for Millie's support.

Millie helps Blitz get through the onslaught by telling him about what makes him great and how he's improved her life and showing him love and care. And by literally beating the fucking infester out of him. Because there's someone in him who's hurting him, who's re-traumatizing him against his will. She takes him away from the reel of horrible memories.

So . . . do I think that confronting traumas can play a role in healing? Sure. But only if it's consensually (which neither of these situations are) and when the person trying to heal is ready. And most likely in small doses. No one's going and successfully confronting every horrible thing that's ever happened to them in one go.

And in my humble opinion, it's not going to work (for anyone, but especially not for Blitz) alone and without a healthy dose of kindness and compassion (both external and internal).

Blitz has a long road ahead of him toward healing, and it's going to be hard work on his part but also require love and support from the people in his life.

In a wonderful moment near the end of Ghosfuckers, Blitz and Millie work together to get Blitz's wrecked van unstuck and push it back through the portal into Hell. I love it because it's so simple and it kind of tells us everything we need to know. This sweet and salty gremlin has a lot of work ahead of him, but he doesn't have to do it alone.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for dumping my friend for working for my ex?

I (16F) recently broke up with my bf of a year, J (16M) because a girl he was in a situationship with previously sent me screenshots of him nonstop harassing her to get back into contact with him all through our relationship. This completely blindsided me and I was really shaken up by how much someone who I thought I loved could be hiding from me.

After the breakup my friends, many of whom had become friends with J while we were dating, cut him out of our group. The way they took my side and stood up for me after such a big betrayal helped to cheer me up. However, this loyalty did not last very long for some people, namley K(17F). She started hanging out with J outside of our friend group very soon after this all went down. I felt very betrayed by this because she was putting a horrible guy she’d known for a couple months over a years long friendship.

As she started spending more and more time with him, I began to suspect that their relationship was more than just a friendship, so I confronted her about it. She seemed offended that I would assume that and informed me that my ex had recruited her to be the public relations for his dropshipping business before the breakup, and she wasn’t going to cut him off because she was making 10,000+ dollars a month.

My immediate reaction to all that was anger. Not just about K taking 10,000 dollars over our 4 year friendship, but also about J asking K to help him out instead of me while we were still dating and “madly in love”. During the whole year we were dating the most he ever let me do was look for sellable products on Alibaba with his friends. Whenever I had suggested something small, like the name of the instagram account when he was selling knockoff Uggs, he would say it was cool and then ignore it. It seemed to me like K had chosen to become someone who meant more to J than I ever would while J and I were still dating and she was still my “friend”.

All of this was really hurtful so I decided to give K an ultimatum: she could either stop working for him or we couldn’t be friends anymore. Instead of being reasonable, K got really pissed and started saying that I was narcissistic and toxic and controlling and that she didn’t know why she had ever wanted to be my friend. I didn’t take what K was saying seriously because she has a habit of saying nasty things to people when she’s angry and then apologizing and acting like nothing had happened the next day. However, after everything that had happened I was seriously done with her. I told her that I didn’t know why we were friends either and if we both felt that way we should just not be friends anymore. Then I said that even if she came crying back to me when J found some other girl to replace her, I wouldn’t want to be her friend again.

Since then me and my loyal friends have tried our best to not be in her life anymore. She hasn’t tried to get into direct contact with me yet, but she does reach out to some other friends in my group to try and worm her way back in pretty often.

It’s hard to ignore her sometimes because we used to be really good friends and I still miss her despite everything. As I have gotten over J and the way he treated these past couple of weeks, I have started to question if the way I treated K was entirely fair. I definitely don’t want to be close friends with her again after how she acted but I feel like I should maybe at least apologize to her or something.

What are these acronyms?

[sometimesthatsbetter]

Every thing i read in Febubary

I Became the Tyrant of a Defense Game

The MC of this novel is so fucking silly cause who tf names their kid Ash 'Born hater' Everblack? Like i'm being for real right now, his mom literally called him her 'little hater'. Love that

So, a Korean gamer who was streaming about this old strategy game on hardmode where if you fail once the game resets. The guy got isekaied the moment he finished the game on stream and right in the middle of the battle field too, tough luck hater.

Before we go more in depth about this story I would recommend that you read the novel version, the manhwa seems a little tacky and i've seen alot of readers complain that the manhwa makes everything look cheaper.

So, one of reasons why it made on to my reading list is because it was recommended by my guy friends who has great taste for this kinda genre. It drew him in because it used actual strategies that he would also use in his game instead of throwing around random lingo in hopes to cater to gamers. Like every battle was truly suspenseful and the author isn't afraid to show that every victory requires a sacrifice. Also I've seen people praise the character development of this novel, everyone starts out a little stereotypical and annoying but they get their own story arcs to shine.

Another thing i like is that this story is about the fight against the end of the world. Like i know alot of stories with that kind of premise but rarely do i ever feel the urgencey as strongly as i do with this story. The last stand against a sea of monsters waiting to consume the world and the young prince who's tasked with the question of remaining human or turning into a monster to save his world. I love me some classical fantasy

Anyways, it has 500+ translated chapters and it's all free. Go read it now.

The problematic prince

If i'm being honest here i can think of at least 10 more manhwa crown princes who are even more problematic than the ML, especially that guy from the abandoned empress, yeah fuck you blueberry head.

So the story premise is the typical bad boy x good girl story trope. Our prince Bjorn keeps getting pestered by his ex wife whom he doesn't want contact with and our FL is being sold off to the highest bidder in society, shinnaigans happen and so the are married. That's the very shorten version of the plot

First thing that i noticed, the vibes. It gave off so much Edwardian, turn of the century energy that i adore. From the costuming to the city streets and the interactions between common people. Love it.

The author seems to have been blessed with amazing writing skills because oh my god did the writing style made me swoon. Erna, our FL, can be classified as one of those soft girl heroines but i feel like she's more than that. She knew what she had to do to keep her loved ones safe and always strived for better, she's not a cunning villainess nor a simpering coward. Erna never settled and kept enduring and trying new ways to connect with others around her even when she's being labelled as a home wrecker.

Also the nobilities and medias reaction to their marriage was incredibly realistic, i see alot of manhwas with rags to riches stories or men marrying women with horrendus reputations but never mention how powerful the influence of the peoples opinions. Here you can see that Bjorn and Erna's relationship, while rocky still holds strong, it seemed like they are truly in love and happy with their choices. Yet media still condemns her as a witch, a slut and a disgrace towards the royal family. It even lead to a attempt on Ernas life. Which shows you how easily the public can be whipped into a frenzy just because of a narritive that she is other woman.

The spirit queen

If i even find the author of this manhwa i would like to make out with them and have their babies, cause this kind of genious deserves to be preserved.

Do you want a story with proper drama? Do you want something that actually keeps it's momentum and doesn't half ass shit half way through? Do you want themes about power and how it turns people into the worse version of themselves? Well look no further. The spirit queen has your back

Another thing that i loved about this story was it's sympathy towards the working class. The servants in this aren't the stereotypical happy go lucky loyal maids that you see in manhwas, they also aren't evil back stabbing people either. They know that their lives are worthless when it comes to the upper classes so they do all that they can to survive and to protect their loved ones. And i respect that as hell, even if it made them do less than savory things.

Also i recently learned that the author, Tutu-nim, wrote and drew this manhwa on their own. A true girlboss

Run away with me, girl

Remember all those times you said that you can be a better husband for the FL? Well this is a lesbian romance based on that premise.

It's a bittersweet romance story about two girls who were high school friends meeting each other after 10 years. Maki, who is till doing her graduate courses while living with her mom and lamenting her loneliness, while Midori is engaged and pregnant and living that perfect, normal life she wanted. Of course everything is not as it seems, and that's what the author wanted to explore in the coming chapters of the story

It's a short read, about 16? 17? chapters. But the author manages to do so much in that short amount of time. Every character felt so real and complicated. At first when you see Midori and the way that she treated Maki after their reunion, it's not hard to come to the conclusion that Midori is just playing around with Makis feelings. Especially with the way that she flirts and then reminds Maki of her engagement to her boyfriend.

This manga has the most realistic, hut wrenching potrayals of abuse, love and hate i've seen in a while. And if i'm being honest there is a high chance i would do the same if i was stuck in their situation.

[rallamajoop]

I have too many feelings about Deus Ex: Mankind Divided (3/3)

The story so far: we've covered gameplay and worldbuilding, we've covered story. Now I get to talk characters. And while I'm at it, go off on a tangent or two about some of my favourite touches from Human Revolution, and why I'm still in the habit of calling the hero of these games by his last name.

Characters

Much as I do love Jensen, it’s no secret that Francis Pritchard is my favourite character in this series. His snarky banter with Jensen during missions is so much of what made Human Revolution for me. When I later tried out the original 2001 Deus Ex, I even joked to a friend, “There’s this guy in my earpiece who keeps giving me straightforward, good advice. It just seems so unprofessional!”

Faridah Malik, Jensen’s pilot, is his other major human contact in HR – a friendly face to get him to and from different settings, and occasional voice in his earpiece as well. But it’s not just Malik and Pritchard you’ll be hearing from – you’ve got Jensen’s boss, Sarif, mocking him for his surprise that the SWAT penthouse villain has a panic room, plus so many other random contacts calling Jensen up and prompting ‘how did you get this number?’ complaints that I started to wonder if it was tattooed to the back of his neck.

I knew going into MD that Pritchard wasn’t returning (except in DLC). Halfway through the first mission, it began to dawn on me that Jensen’s new, aggressively-British, aug-hating coworker, Duncan MacCready, seemed to be being set up as the new Pritchard – ie, the asshole in his earpiece with whom he’ll gradually develop a grudging semi-friendship over the course of the game. This did not immediately enthuse me. Pritchard’s initial dislike of our hero may have been petty, but at least it was personal, seeing Jensen as an under-qualified nepotism hire. MacCready just hates anyone augmented, which would be pretty weaksauce even if Jensen had, y'know, ever actually chosen to being augmented to begin with.

It's not like it would be hard to come up with better reasons why someone might distrust Jensen: he's secretly working for a hacktavist network, was declared legally dead in circumstances he can't explain, and MacCready would be right to find him suspicious. But I knew MacCready was a popular character, so I resolved to give him a chance.

The reality proved much worse: love him or hate him, MacCready is hardly in the game at all. You can go talk to him in the office a bunch of times about why he hates cyborgs so much, but he’s only deployed with Jensen in the very first mission and the very last one. Jensen seems to have relationships with a number of his other new colleagues, but for most of the game, there’s no radio chatter at all. Infolink calls happen occasionally, but are vanishingly rare. Even when doing missions for the Collective – a group dominated by augmented hackers – Jensen’s left to fly relatively solo.

Jensen’s main contact at the Collective is Alex Vega, arguably the new Malik, at least in that she’s an augmented woman of colour and nominally a pilot (though she doesn’t actually do any flying for us) on friendly terms with Jensen. In fact, DXMD has given Vega a substantial redesign to make her less of the shallow Malik-clone she was in her "original" appearance, in the lesser known mobile game Deus Ex: The Fall. You can see her and Malik in the comparison below.

Yeah, there's really not a lot to set them apart. She's a pilot? Give her short brown hair like our last pilot, stick her in a flight suit, and call it a day.

As of MD, the new!Vega is black, does her hair completely differently, has more obvious augmentations, and doesn't live in a flight suit: okay, fine, no harm in giving the character some individuality (though why you'd insist on giving her the same name as the old Vega at that point I do not know).

But looks aside, it's on the characterisation front they've really let her down. There was never a lot to Malik beyond being straightforward, friendly and professional. But you do get an optional side-mission to help her solve a friend’s murder, and the big set-piece where she’ll die if you leave her and run like she tells you to (also the reason I’ll probably never get a certain achievement, but fuck it, I like Malik, I don’t need that achievement that much). Straightforward as Malik is, what makes her work for me is that it’s so easy to buy her as someone with her own life outside Jensen’s crazy world. It’s to the point where I almost don’t want to see her get dragged any deeper into the whole conspiracy plotline, because she’s so easy-going and normal she shouldn’t have to be. Basic as that is, when you’re having a reaction that strong to a character, they’ve done something right.

Vega, by comparison, clearly should be a much more memorable character – a pilot working full-time undercover for a top-secret hacktivist collective? But Vega too seems nice, and normal, and yet has no role in this story except to be Jensen’s contact. You can ask her a bit about her backstory, but it made so little impression I can’t remember it. She’s nominally so much more important than Malik, but she never gets to do anything as interesting as making up a nickname for him, hijacking a bunch of public TVs to get back at her friend’s killer, or make the tough decision to tell Jensen to leave her and run. She’s just there to deliver plot-relevant information.

Other characters fandom had led me to expect much more of were similar non-events. Koller, Jensen’s go-to guy for aug maintenance, is certainly a character, but not one that grabbed me, and he appears all of twice, neither time for very long. There's got to be a hell of a story as to why Jensen, an Interpol agent with connections to a whole network of augmented hackers, is going to a weirdo like Koller for aug maintenance, but the game doesn't seem to think that's a story worth sharing, so there goes another wasted avenue to do something interesting. Chikane, Jensen's actual pilot, has far more meat on his bones character-wise and more interaction with our hero. But he’s probably a traitor (I say ‘probably’ because the strongest hints are a coded message in a well-hidden safe, and finding it changes nothing), so there's not much point investing in what camaraderie they develop. Similar is Delara, an obvious Illuminati-plant who spends the game acting innocent and helpful enough to make you wonder if maybe she’s alright after all, only for an after-credits scene to reveal that, yup, she’s an Illuminati plant. Is this supposed to be a twist?

The one major character I did get decent value out of is Jim Miller, Jensen’s Interpol boss. Seeing a convincingly Aussie character in a position of authority in non-Aussie-made media is novel enough that I’m always going to get a kick out of it (even if his backstory does involve that whole ‘Australian civil war’ thing, which is hilarious in so many ways that I’m not sure non-Australians appreciate). Doesn’t hurt that Miller’s subtly queer too – hacking his computer will turn up info about his (ex-)husband and kids.

And that’s about it. There’s a local Prague underworld, but no-one involved is as enjoyable as either of the Tongs in HR, and agreeing to put yourself in their debt on Koller’s account means you’ll get to do a couple of extra side-quests, none of which will give your conscience much trouble. Is this really the best they can do?

When it came out, Deus Ex: Human Revolution was rightly criticised for a weak ending and some seriously ham-fisted attempts at worldbuilding and social commentary. I knew all that going in, and was still astounded by how bad it was at introducing its own ideas. But for all its flaws, I fell in love with its characters, and there were some touches that really stuck with me. I've had a whole mini-essay rolling around my brain for months just on the subtext it packs into who's on a first or last name basis with who – Jensen especially.

Our hero is ‘Jensen’ to most of his workmates (past and present), but ‘Adam’ to Megan and Sarif – Megan because they used to date, and Sarif because he’s the kind of friendly, personable boss who calls all his employees by their first names. But that familiarity takes on a whole other sinister dimension when you realise that Megan and Sarif are the same people responsible for basing their research on Jensen's DNA without his knowledge or consent (and in Sarif’s case, cutting off three perfectly good limbs while he was in a medical coma). Eliza – an AI who’s been watching him for god knows how long – calls him ‘Adam’ too. (So does Wayne Haas, the cop you have to talk your way past to get into the station, which is just more proof he’s Jensen’s bitter ex.)

Meanwhile, Pritchard and Malik – the two allies Jensen can trust to have his back – both call him ‘Jensen’. When Malik starts to get more familiar, it’s not by switching to first-name-basis, it’s by giving him a nickname (‘Spyboy’, which he responds to by calling her ‘Flygirl’). And that’s most of why I still default to calling the guy ‘Jensen’ myself: intended or otherwise, the game is pretty consistent in that the only people who call him by his first name have a serious lack of respect for his boundaries. I can’t tell you how intentional all that subtext was, but it shines through like a beacon.

He’s not the only example either. The game never tells us that Pritchard hates being called by his full first name, ‘Francis’, but it doesn’t have to – you can tell based on the way Jensen uses it (and it’s notable that he’s ‘Frank’ to Sarif, the ‘we’re all family here’-boss of the year). It’s a great little characterisation note for the both of them.

So you can imagine my disappointment that in DX:MD, most of Jensen’s new workmates just call him ‘Adam’. Maybe you could argue that now that unearned familiarity is going the other way, since here ‘Adam’ is the double-agent sneaking around under their noses – but then, Alex calls him ‘Adam’ too, and there’s nothing to suggest she’s shady. Miller and Duncan call him ‘Jensen’, which tracks with their characters and relationships, but I’ve long since hit the point where I can’t hear people calling this guy ‘Adam’ without twitching a little. Why are you calling him that? What are you really up to, you creep?

And this is just one thing I loved from that previous game that was lacking in the sequel. Pritchard and Malik may top my list of favourite characters, but it goes on and on. Tong Senior is more charismatic than any guy that shady has any right to be (and Tong Junior is just such a fantastic little shit), and Keitner deserved so much more screentime than she got. David Sarif is a fascinating mess of completely terrible person who still deserves real credit for standing up against the 'real' villains behind the scenes. Megan's level-headed conviction that she's doing the right thing even while working for incredibly shady people fascinates me. Quinn is great in both his personalities, and I even enjoyed Kavanagh and the sleezeball that is van Brugen so much more than I had any right to. There are compellingly grey characters all over this script, and the writers deserve serious credit for all of them.

But there’s no-one in Mankind Divided I enjoyed as much as the best players from HR. Including, I hate to say it, that one DLC which brought Pritchard back at last.

So, yeah. It's time to talk that last little footnote to this game.

The System Rift DLC

DX:HR had only one DLC mission, but it set a high standard, introduced some of my favourite characters (see above!), and contributed to the greater story in a big way. By comparison, MD has three DLC missions, and all have the exact same problems as the main campaign: there’s just nothing to invest in here. Do you actually care whether Jensen is able to save an undercover agent who’s gone native in some prison facility? Not once you’ve met the guy, trust me, he’s painfully bland. And that mission may actually be the strongest of the three.

The story justification for System Rift is as perfunctory as possible. Pritchard calls Jensen up out of the blue to call in a favour. He needs Jensen to recover some data from a bank vault, and along the way, you might find some evidence of shady insider trading between characters you’ve never met. And you have to ‘save Pritchard’s avatar’ from a virtual world, because reasons, which is exactly as trite as most attempts to build cyberspaces into gameplay. Oh, and you get to ride a funicular elevator at one point, because that’s about the level of what we get here as a callback.

As for new characters, you'll meet Shadowchild, a hacker friend of Pritchard, who I found depressingly dull. Attempts to characterise her mostly mean sitting through dialogue like “there are only a few hackers in a world who could do this, but fortunately for you I am one of them,” delivered in a relative monotone. Much as much as I enjoyed the fact that Miller was queer only if the player is paying attention to the details, doing the same thing again with Shadowchild just makes me feel like the writers don’t have the guts to make a character gay enough to risk upsetting the homophobes in their audience. It’s executed that much worse here too (look, I fully assumed whoever Shadowchild needed Jensen to leave that coded warning for must be someone she’d long since lost real contact with, because why the fuck would she need or trust a virtual stranger to do that for her real, current girlfriend when the stakes are this high? Come on!)

But what really kills this DLC for me is that Pritchard and Jensen’s relationship is given so little to work with. They’re not working together to find the people who put Jensen in hospital or tracking down the secrets of Jensen’s past this time. We’re not getting any insights into Pritchard’s past or hunting major Illuminati secrets either, there aren’t even innocent people in danger – there’s nothing personal here, nothing to invest in. The data Pritchard wants is a MacGuffin in the purest and most meaningless sense, and Jensen’s only helping because he owes a favour (and you won’t even know what for if you haven’t read the novel).

The fact Jensen’s now working for Pritchard directly ought to add new tension to their dynamic, but all it seems to do is throw a dampener over what grudging camaraderie they ever achieved. I do like that they've reached the point where Jensen doesn't even sound like he's sneering when he calls Pritchard 'Francis' anymore, but most of their banter was underwhelming – and dull as I found the core conflict of Black Light, even it delivered on that. Jensen is a surly asshole to Pritchard for no good reason from the moment he answers the call, and the idea that he’s pushing friends away to protect them is present but (at least for my money) underplayed. Pritchard, meanwhile, is here largely to deliver mission-related exposition. There were definitely exchanges I enjoyed ‒ I'm a shipper, I can't not like Jensen's last little 'take care of yourself' at the end ‒ but it's not much to hang a DLC on.

(And to be clear, if you did love System Rift for what it was, no judgement here. But goddamn, did you deserve something you could’ve loved so much more than this.)

So with all that said, where does that leave me for a conclusion? If the plan with Deus Ex: Mankind Divided was to make the series more like the original Deus Ex, then for my money, they’ve succeeded ‒ at least in that the plot is uninvolving, the characters are bland, and their relationships don’t evolve in any interesting way. But even the original DX managed some memorable reveals and a gloriously weird multiple-choice ending, where the heros could tell themselves they’d taken down the Illuminati and cured the plague. Jensen’s grand success at the end of MD is that a key UN vote on augmented rights hasn’t made the currently shitty status quo any worse. Everything that Human Revolution did well is missing here, and everything it did badly is just as bad.

And yet, at the end of the day, my single biggest disappointment may be that this really is it. There’s probably never going to be another Deus Ex game. I don’t know how you’d save a franchise from a rut like this, and it’s naïve to imagine you can only go up from here – but apparently it’d take more than one lackluster entry to kill my investment. It’s a hell of a bummer to see it end on a game that seems so ashamed of everything its predecessor ever did well.

It's enough of a bummer that rather than leave my own impressions rest there, I'm replaying Deus Ex: Human Revolution now, and you know what? Turns out it's not all nostalgia that's making me remember the last game so much better, because I'm having a great time with it all over again. The side quests you can pick up are just as truly absurd as they ever were (sure, random hooker I just met, I'll plant drugs in this guy's apartment for you!), but the stakes feel meaningful, the character dynamics are fun, and Pritchard is back being his terrible, sassy self. My absurd quest for enough XP to unlock all the cool powers ASAP has me spending way, way too long trying to set up double-takedowns and carrying vending machines around the middle of Detroit police station to try and block the sightlines between the computer I'm hacking and all the cops standing around the same room. Look, this is apparently my idea of fun, don't judge me.

For over a year now, I've had a couple of unposted bits of Jensen/Pritchard fic sitting around, never quite completed, and replaying the game has reignited the motivation to get them into some kind of shape worth showing to people. Lord knows I don't have the power to uncancel this franchise, but at least letting my own unfinished fic see the light of day is something I can do.

[eri-pl]

What would happen if Turgon didn't kill Eöl?

First, a note about my opinion on this event: ... Still murder.

Second, the speculation. Turgon listens to Aredhel and doesn't kill Eöl. Long post below cut.

He imprisons him instead, because tbh that's the only other option if he wants any chance to keep his city secret. I imagine it very much like Melkor's imprisonment in Years of the Trees: a long term, then a reevaluation. And just like Melkor, Eöl lies his way out when the term ends. He is probably also watched carefully at first, but he pretends to like Gondolin and behaves, and then he sneaks away planning revenge.

When? We can set the length of his imprisonment very arbitrarily, depending on when do we want Gondolin to fall.

Eöl causes it to fall? But what about Maeglin, you ask me. Ok, so Maeglin is not cursed and somewhat better adjusted. Yes, his mother is dead by his father's hand, but Turgon didn't kill his father, instead he showed him mercy, so it's easier to Maeglin to feel safe and not extremely conflicted around Turgon.

He's still in love with Idril, but he's very Celebrimbor about it. She still doesn't like him too much because he's weird (it's a legit thing to instinctively not like someone and two good characters not vibing along is a situation explored too rarely), but she isn't scared of him and there's mutual respect. I imagine they mostly have separate circles of friends and he's a bit sad and that's it. And he still smiths a lot, and it's very popular in the city, and brave and what not.

I think we still need to have Tuor (because Earendil), so Eöl's imprisonment has to be long. Maybe there's more than one reevaluation.

Maeglin is, of course, sad about Tuor but not willingly envious. He does try to get over it. Mostly he broods. Possibly learns to play a harp. Gets some peace, maybe gets over Idril and they start getting along better and he becomes the cool uncle of Earendil whom the fandom sometimes wants him to be. A friendship like that, with an ex-crush and their family, does happen sometimes.

(I have no idea who builds the tunnel and why. Maybe Maeglin, based on foresight? Maybe Idril? Maybe both and Tuor and some friends.)

So, Eöl runs away via some secret passage or whatever, but before leaving he of course approaches Maeglin and demands Maeglin joins him. Maeglin refuses, is wounded (could be killed, but I want him to die later). So, he is wounded, poisoned and cursed (yes, we still get this). Eöl also curses Turgon (in absentia), the city and probably some other things. He's an expressive guy. And steals back Anguirel from Maeglin.

He leaves. I'd have to check the timeline, but I'd love to have him meet Turin and have a Anguirel vs Anglachel fight. Something about "this is my sword because I made it, give it back" "I got it from Thingol also I have poor impulse control so I'll fight you". Also, those two guys look so similar (goth, sad, quiet...)

Turin ofc survives to suffer, Eöl is wounded (how does Túrin win this? I have no idea. Maybe someone else intervened.) Also, Eol curses Turin because he likes to curse people and Turin could probably use some more bad luck 🤣

Morgoth (who's subscribed to Turin's adventures) learns that Eol came from Gondolin. He knows that Eöl hates him as much as he hates the Noldor (which is: a lot), so he sends Sauron or one of the lesser shapeshifting minions to talk to Eöl under the guise of of "I'm a fellow Silvan elf, the Noldor captured my family in their hidden city, help (+ more or less vague implications of the plan involving a group of Silvan Elves doing violence to said Noldor invaders)" or something like this. Eöl helps very willingly, of course, then realizes that something is off andv this is all too convenient (he is a smart guy regardless of his faults), gets killed, probably in some gruesome way.

Not a redemption, but at least Eol gets to the Halls of Mandos instead of chilling out as a spirit (because he's very aware that in this situation it's either Halls immediately, or getting captured and used for necromancy). And he knows he made a mistake. So that's something, maybe it'll help him learn?

Morgoth attacks the city, Maeglin dies at the same location as in canon, but fighting at the good side. Everything else proceeds as in the canon.

PS: I have a really weird habit of mixing up Aredhel's and Idril's names, but this time I hope I fixed all instances of it.

[mitsuki91]

Let's try to be real short on this.

This is the quote about the girl in the cage:

(Thanks to @booksandlighters for the screen 🥰)

Please read it in full, with lines above and after that specific line (that also starts with "in some ways" so you know he is not serious about caging his girl).

What do you read? Because I read a boy in love who can not be with his loved one and he is anxious (of course because he has this need to be in control, but not because of a power play or else, just to be safe and sure about the world around him). And also, ALSO, he was thinking about Billy Taupe who can try to win Lucy Gray back NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. He trusts his girl so much, it's not HER the problem (or her freedom, really), but THE OTHERS.

(Also you can read this thing like "he wants to keep everyone outside so no one can reach her" but that's another point for another day).

(ALSO you can see very well how he is the one to feel caged and in his fantasy him and Lucy Gray are together so there is no point to cage himself too - he already is and he hates it and he wants to be with her).

In the whole quote the important part of the line is "where he always have a general idea of what she was doing" and NOT the "looked up" part. And please let me remind you that this boy didn't know shit about Covey's routine now, he only know that they play and sing but he is not even sure he can find them at the Hob when he is free to go there... I mean... Even I would be anxious. I am sure that if he and Lucy Gray talked about their habits then at least half of the problem would be solved.

ALSO Lucy Gray is back in a District where the Mayor already tried to frame her, where her ex is a patetic mess who wants her back, and where the new girl of said ex is crazy and also the daughter of the mayor, whom Lucy Gray umiliated on air at the Reaping. I would be worried sick too.

Coryo trusts his Lucy Gray, he only wants to know where she is and what she is doing, NOT like a stalker, but more like a "Okay I came home and my husband is not there even if he was supposed to be there and there is no note he didn't send me a message WTF is that what happened where is him?! Why didn't he tell me something? I am worry sick!" combined with "And now I have to leave for my shift in 10minutes so I can not even search him/ask any of his family/friends if they know something!".

This is it. This is the feeling Coriolanus Snow was feeling.

[darlingian]

WEEKLY TAG WEDNESDAY

Hello! In honour of @energievie 's birthday we are doing a birthday theme! thanks to her, @michellemisfit , @deedala , and @vintagelacerosette for the tags!

---

When is yours? boxing day 📦

Where were you born? In the next province over! And it was funny because I actually delivered a baby in that hospital 30 years later completely unexpectedly.

How do you feel about your legal name? Are you using it online and/or IRL? I hate it. It's never felt like mine. It truly makes me uncomfortable when people use it. I mostly go by Chani which I do like more, but I definitely don't love it. I've considered changing my name even since I was small, but that also makes me feel weird.

How about your sign? Do you feel it "fits"? I'm a Capricorn but I've literally never read a horoscope that fit me. That's part of why I'd like my chart read someday. Maybe someone could explain why I feel that way!

What's your earliest memory related to your birthday? It was my 3rd birthday and I vividly remember opening The 1995 Fisher Price Little People farm set. Which I kept LONG after I'd technically outgrown the toy. I also remember there being smarties(the Canadian candy) as polka dots on a chocolate cake.

What's one of the best gifts you've ever received? When I was little I only had one cousin. Her and I were like siblings. Our grandma had bought us each a ty beanie buddy bear for Christmas and mine was a cranberry coloured bear with a green ribbon around his neck that I immediately named "Cranberry Bear" (good imagination lil me). Well that same day my little sister who was probably around 3 decided it was HER bear. And essentially the whole family tried to gaslight me into believing that it had always been my sisters. Because my sister was a very hard kid to deal with and she was prone to all day destructive tantrums I guess they figured this was easier. And when I wouldn't give up on the fact it was mine I was told "you have enough toys." Anyways, my best friend knew that story and happens to love researching vintage toys. (she has a great Polly pocket collection.) A couple years ago she gave me cranberry bear for my birthday. In pristine condition and as soft as the day someone bought him. And he's mine. I cried a lot. hahaha

How about one of the best you've given yourself? I'm supposed to say my children or something I think. lol

What's your favourite cake flavour? I actually unabashedly love funfetti cake. But also red velvet. I'll buy red velvet if it's available every time.

How about your favourite flowers? Forget-me-nots or Lily of the Valley.

Have your ever thrown a birthday party? If yes, tell us about your favourite one. I've thrown my kids a combined 14 birthday parties. Plus 3 or so parties for my ex-wife. I really loved my eldest's 7th birthday party which was "Witchy" themed. Her birthday is mid November so I bought so much great Halloween decor for it after Halloween had passed and everything was super duper discounted.

What's the ultimate birthday song? I like the Stevie wonder one?

And last but not least, pick a celebrity with whom you share your birthday. I share my birthday with Jared Leto and Chairman Mao. Soooo apparently it's an evil day to be born. lmao.

---

tagging @heymrspatel @too-schoolforcool @sgtmickeyslaughter @gardenerian @celestialmickey

@jrooc @sam-loves-seb @iansw0rld @crossmydna @mybrainismelted

@mmmichyyy @sickness-health-all-that-shit @catgrassplantdad @thepupperino @gallawitchxx

@blue-disco-lights @creepkinginc

[one-equaltemper]

join me in my far-too-long note that borders on an essay about chapters 28-30 of be my baby

i'll be honest, writing things like this inherently makes me feel like a terrible writer because i obviously didn't *clearly* get my point across and maybe i need to go back and edit the offending chapters, but for now...a note.

you will notice we're keeping a very casual vibe here because i haven't bothered to capitalize anything. we're just friends, having a chat! i'm definitely not wringing my hands and a little bit frustrated because that would be defensive and i do not want to come across as defensive. so here we go, under the cut, so you can avoid spoilers in case you're not caught up:

there have been lots of thoughts and, i think, a bit of confusion over an aspect of the argument between draco and hermione beginning in chapter 28. to the best of my knowledge this stems not from the argument itself — draco telling hermione that pansy (his second ex-wife whom she knows little about) has contacted him and wants to have a chat — but about what happens after.

hermione is overcome with feelings and her first instinct is to get away. i don't want to say she's a runner, because i don't think she is, but i think she's the type of person to need a little bit of time to herself and to her thoughts to understand and come to terms with information that is particularly inflammatory or worrisome. however, as she makes to move away from draco, he essentially refuses her the privacy.

first, i get it. draco comes off looking extremely controlling in this moment. i knew it would be difficult going in to write the scene, but i felt it was important for reasons i will explain.

second, lets talk about the rules.

in chapter five, draco first asks hermione to text him when she's out and let him know where she is and where she's going. it's just a check in text, but it's one of the first rules that they put into place.

in chapter 12, titled manners, draco asks hermione to hold his hand while they're walking outside. the rest of this chapter delves in draco showing her that maybe she's not actually all that ready to dive headfirst into a dd/lg relationship, but that rule still stands.

three, their relationship type. are they in a 24/7 dd/lg relationship? no. does it extend beyond the bedroom? yes. this is not just a sexual thing for them and some of the rules that they both agree to reflects that.

so, what happened? what was i trying to portray?

essentially that you don't get to pick and choose which rules you want to follow when you're in a relationship like this. hermione knows she's not supposed to wander, she knows she's supposed to hold his hand when they're out or, at the very least, stick close to him. argument or not, draco is still responsible for her.

draco gave her another option; he told her that he could take her back to his flat and she could determine from there whether she'd like to be alone. he simply, at the end of the day, asked her to remember their agreed upon rules. when hermione continued to refuse and he could see she wasn't going to do what he asked, he begrudgingly allowed her to separate herself from him as long as he could see her.

however, it was still against the rules and is part of the reason for the punishment in chapter 30.

if draco comes off as controlling, it's because he is. i'm not trying to hide that. i know, hermione knows it, astoria knows, theo knows it. even draco knows it. he has a deep need to control everything around him.

i know this story is not going to be everyone's cup of tea but my real goal here is to look at the nuances in a relationship like this. it's not always sexy or attractive. sometimes it's beyond complicated and it's just the nature of the dynamic. that's what i was trying to show.

i hope this makes sense and answers some of the questions and concerns from those chapters. i will go back and see what i can do about making these things clearer, but hopefully this note helps.

[pascaloverx]

As It Was (S2)

Chapter Twelve

previous chapter next chapter

Summary: You have a bold idea that obviously leads you and Bucky into an argument. Who doesn't like a wedding?

Author's note: Dear readers, I will be writing this fanfic again. This second season will have shorter chapters and it will probably take me a little longer to update the fanfic but I hope you like it!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS STORY, there may be adult content and verbal and physical violence.

"That's the craziest invention you've ever had, Melisa. Did your ex-husband agree to this whole strategy?" Sam asks after you tell him your plan to capture Steve and Killian.

"What makes you believe I told him before I told the four of you?" I speak confidently that they will see things as I do.

"To recap, do you want to be bait in a fake wedding; making two dangerous men come after you?" Yelena seems to have understood the premise of my genius plan.

"Yes, this marriage will make them want to burn the archives. Despite my father's evidence, the fact that they tried to kill me makes everything worse." The reality is that I can't run away forever. Not knowing when something might happen to you or someone you love.

"What if they don't show up? Are you going to marry Barnes again?" Sam says it like it's the most unlikely thing in the world, considering I was married to Barnes once.

"Whatever, it's better to take a risk and not work out, than to do nothing and live in fear." I say, determined to make this weak team help me capture the man who killed my father and the man who almost killed me.

"I agree with Melisa, living in fear doesn't do any good. Not to mention that her marrying Bucky isn't the end of times. We'll be there to protect the engaged couple after all." Wanda speaks, trying to seek support in her wife's eyes, but Yelena seems unsatisfied.

"This could go very wrong, you could die, we could die too because Barnes won't accept this and we will have to do it without his cooperation. So if everything goes wrong he will take it out on us." Sam's right, Barnes will probably be pissed at them and if I survive at most I'll get two weeks without sex as punishment.

"But if we don't do anything to help Melisa, these two cowards will haunt her life. My friend spent months in a hospital bed and wants her peace back. I think we should give her that." Dave he says with authority, trying to show himself as a supporter of this plan. I hug him gently.

"Give what, to whom?" James Barnes came out of his eternal bath wearing a robe. Look, I didn't tell him about the plan but I know he's going to hate it.

"His ex-wife had an unusual idea to solve a problem. We're trying to figure out if it's worth trying." Yelena responds to Barnes, who looks confused.

"Funny, my ex-wife hasn't said anything to me in the days we've been together. At least nothing about this plan." You know that weird feeling like you're going to get fucked? I'm feeling it now.

"That's because she didn't feel you were ready to accept that plan." I say quietly as if I wished I didn't have to say anything.

"On a scale of one to ten, how much does Melisa put herself in danger in her plan?" He asks, clearly speaking to the rest of the group.

"Nine." Exactly everyone says it together, as if they were synchronized. Barnes looked at me as if to say, now you know why I don't like his plan.

"Baby, there's no way I'm going to agree to this plan. You at least suggested being bait to catch the two mother fuckers that almost killed you and I." It's funny how he says this minutes before grabbing me by the waist and kissing me on the cheek. 

"I'm not going to give up on the plan, Barnes. I love you and I respect you. I would like you to respect my plan and follow it. But if you don't, I'll go through with it without you." I said looking into the eyes my ex. I know he wants the best for me but I can't live in this way forever. 

"Do you want to end up like your father?" He responds sharply and I move away from him. I think we went back to the beginning of our relationship again. He wants to have the last word and I want to do what's best for me.

"Better to end up like him, than to live a life of fear and cowardice. If you don't understand me, that's your problem. But if you love me that much, you should support me and protect me. It was exactly for this reaction that I didn't tell you the plan." I say this hoping he will say something, say he will accept the plan or that I can't count on him. But I get silence. In fact, he left the house that was once ours and left without saying a word. 

"I changed my mind, I'll support you in this. If you need a new fiancé, I'm available. Now I'm going to go and see where your husband went." Sam says kissing my cheek and going after Barnes.

"I still think this plan is crazy but if you're willing to fight Barnes over this, it must be important to you. Count on me, for any plan you have." Yelena says giving me a look of support. I am grateful for her decision to help me.

"These idiots and I are going to help you. Either way we're going to get Steve and Killian. One way or another." Wanda says hugging me and then saying goodbye. Just me and Daven left.

"Wine and ice cream?" Dave says, throwing himself on the couch and turning on my TV. You nod your head, hoping that some movie will take your argument with Barnes out of your mind. To think he was so angry that he came out in a bathrobe. It's even funny. 

[eventide-imp]

This is a vent post. It's kind of long I guess. I just needed to put it somewhere because I feel like I'm losing my mind. And I had already woken up depressed as hell yesterday when part of this happened.

I need someone in charge of the strings of fate give me a FUCKING break. Gas gets cut off with no notice and we manage to get it back on after four days and TWO calls to the gas company. Since the pilot lights went out because there was no gas, the oven is still dead and there's no way for me to relight it. It just keeps giving an error. Which means spending more money for it to be serviced.

The water heater light was also out. Well guess who's going on almost two weeks with no hot water now because after getting the gas back on, we discovered the fucking control panel for the water heater is dead! Which means we can't turn the damn water heater back on. It's 325 to replace it OR over 900 to just replace the whole damn thing.

And the shower doesn't work. It's a simple part to replace but the one my grandmother bought doesn't fit. my grandmother refuses to pay a plumber to come fix it or just buy a new part that should fit. That's been broke for over a month. So everybody has to try and wash in the tub, and now in freezing cold water. I finally ended up going to my mom's just so I could wash my hair for the first time in two months.

And then my 12 year old Big Pup was doing a very normal 12 year old thing. Being curious about one of those character chatbots. His friends use it, so of course he's gonna want to look at it. Frankly I'm only concerned about him potentially getting something 18+ out of it. My ex on the other hand is CONVINCED someone could hack it and start talking to him through it??? Nothing I said could dissuade him from this, even when I said it doesn't work like that he just insisted "well it has HUMAN OVERSIGHT doesn't it!?" And like yeah but that's still not how it works???

The only real issue, in my opinion, was Big Pup feeling the need to sneak around to use it. My ex was also concerned that the kid was apparently talking to the character like a romantic partner, which, I don't actually know what that means. And he didn't bother to take a screenshot or anything to show me as an example, so I still have no idea what that means. His other concern was the kid not feeling like he could talk to people well and struggling to socialize. Which is normal??? For being 12???? Like middle school and high school are AWKWARD AS FUCK, there's so much going on for them to deal with!

I made it clear I had no issues with finding a therapist for Big Pup (he's an anxious bean, has parents who aren't together, has a younger sibling with a decent age gap, he's got a lot to cope with!), and I was also not opposed to getting the kid into after school programs so he could try to socialize more within his hobbies.

But I offered to show the kid ao3 so he could have fanfic to read instead of using the chatbots. I thought that was a good compromise. My ex just said "NO. He can write it if he wants but I don't want him reading anyone else's stuff. Yeah that's your thing and you read it at his age cause your parents should've been paying more attention to you."

I......I am trying not to take the rest of what he said personally, because it basically just continued like that where he shut me down instead of at least considering that as an option alongside the other things. And comments about my parents not paying enough attention to what I did on the internet. but it just really REALLY felt like he was basically saying he doesn't want our son to end up like ME.

I know I struggle socially. I always have. The only time in my life where my friend group was greater than four people, one of whom was usually my twin, was high school and that's purely on the patience of one girl deciding she was gonna stand in front of my desk to talk to the nervous and shy mouse of a girl with the manga during history class the first day. And then three of her friends, all of them having been friends during middle school, joining her. They stood around my desk and talked over my head for three days before I got the courage to actually join the conversations. And then they found out the school had an anime club. And even in anime club, surrounded by peers who actually liked the same things I liked, I still struggled. I still talked the least. They didn't care. I was there and listening and could manage a few jokes, that was enough.

Most of my friendships moved online after I had Big Pup. Nobody wants to keep inviting someone who can never come out anyway. (My family staunchly refused to babysit unless I needed to go to a doctors appointment or do the grocery shopping). I'm very glad of my online friendships. They've helped me so much. I try to return the favor as much as possible. They've bought my kids Christmas gifts, and birthday gifts, and helped me with transportation and so many other things. They're part of my support system. I love them.

I know I'm not any better socially. If anything I've probably gotten worse. I KNOW I've pretty much stopped masking my neurodivergence most times. It's just too exhausting to have to pretend to be neurotypical 24/7. It's part of why I burnt out and my body crashed. Nobody really wants to accept it. So I still have to partially mask. But I can't keep it up. I just can't. It's too much for my own mental health. My ex is adhd. I've got epilepsy and a strong case for autism. Both Big Pup and Little Pup are blatantly neurodivergent. It's always been obvious to me. But my ex has been in denial about it for years. He's only just recently (like the last three or so months recent) come around to the idea that they are.

And apparently the thought that they might be like me is too much for him. But I'm supposed to take myself out of it. I'm supposed to not get defensive. I'm supposed to not take it personally.

AND ALL OF THIS WITHOUT ANY GODDAMN HOT WATER.

[schismusic]

Æon Flux and the end of all things

I don't remember the first time I heard of Æon Flux but I sure as hell remember the first time I watched it, and it wasn't too long ago which would technically not warrant the level of obsession I have for that shit, but here we are anyway.

I was knocked the fuck out on painkillers, two of my wisdom teeth freshly removed, not even remotely worried about the exam that I had coming up in like two days from then. So I was barely moving away from my swivel chair and sleeping on a whole ass armored pillow to prevent from tossing and turning and shit felt so surreal to me. It was like the eating chair from the last Cronenberg movie. So I delved into Æon Flux essentially blind and bingewatched the shit out of it. Twice. Ended up downloading the whole thing from some sketchy ass 1080p remastered torrent, rewatched it again, and spread it around personally in a more cauterized Google Drive folder (so if you guys got a nasty ass virtual STD from it, my bad I guess), not even a month after watching the series. Shit was fucked, in short, and every rewatch just fueled this obsession even further.

(image taken from Episode 1, Season 1)

One thing about me: when I obsess over stuff I want to draw something at the very least inspired by it. Happens to me a lot with Autechre, who are actually one of maybe three bands I would not hesitate to call my favourite based on an absolutely objective principle which is absolutely not up for discussion and which might be the object of a future post at this point. But the point is fucking Æon Flux is essentially impossible to replicate because Peter Chung's character designs are so recognizable that you start seeing them in literally every other movie that came out in the late '90s/early 2000s - and for reference, Æon Flux was brought to an end in 1995. Consequently, all attempts at drawing Æon Flux-inspired stuff end up either feeling very derivative or looking like fucking trash. Artistry is a weird thing because sometimes it inspires other people, other times it just inspires man-slaughtering rage.

Somewhat many of my friends are or have at one point tried to be accomplished visual artists. Some have made it to professional/teaching level, some others have an art school diploma or degree - and I'll be using this space to shout out @coto-letta aka V., who has recently rejoined Tumblr after years of absence. We met on here, when her handle was much different, and I mistook her for an ex of mine (whom, surprisingly, we are still on relatively good - if quiet - terms with) so I slid into her DMs as you do, and she was like "yeah actually I have no clue who the fuck you are I just think your blog is neat and dropped a follow" which was quite a fundamental moment in understanding that while my life was written like a dodgy soap-opera, that didn't mean I was the centre of the entire world. Anyway, the reason I'm shouting her out is because sometimes something deeper and older than you remember has a way of finding you again when you least expect it and that's what happened when in January 2023 (after V. had left Tumblr for at that point about two years and we had exchanged Instagram accounts) I somehow ended up on her Insta and found out she had been tagged in a picture taken somewhere that looked suspiciously like my university's conference hall and I could not fucking believe she was in my city. I slid into her DMs again, as you do, and found out that no, that wasn't my uni's aula magna, but yes, she was in fact relocating in my city for her master's. So we met up after maybe seven years of on-and-off Internet friendship. It's a neat story, sure, but how the fuck do we tie it into Æon Flux?

(image taken from Episode 3, Season 2: Leisure)

Not trying to be overly dramatic here, but Æon Flux to me is just about a condensation of everything that "art" can mean. Not just visual flare or style, not just deep meaning or interesting ways of putting across one or more questions and never a definitive answer to any of them (more often than not, it's sets of possible answers - usually two, neither of which ends up covering the whole array of possibilities, both of which actually leave a lot to be desired in a number of different ways), not just this insane fucking music that toys with everything you expect from animation courtesy of Drew Neumann who may just rank as one of the best soundtrack artists ever in virtue of this single work. It's the whole package. You would think it'd work taken in pieces, and it does, no objection to that: but it works even better as a whole package. If the moral questioning (and the philosophical musings of season 3, which is unjustly underrated because "it's too normal" by hipster wannabe critic dilettantes who like to think that they could do better than that. Everybody else on the other hand is generally able to stop pull their head out their own ass and recognize, at the very least, the excellent craftsmanship and talent that went into the ten long episodes) wasn't accompanied by the weird fetishistic sex it'd be somewhat less impactful, almost like a cauterized Tenshi no tamago made into a series for mainstream late-night TV audiences. The twist was that MTV's executives, at the time, "didn't understand [the double entendres], they didn't even notice them. So, we were okay", in producer Japhet Asher's own words in the short documentary Investigation: The History of Æon Flux. The network was, in fact, trying to break into the mainstream - they simply couldn't keep their creatives at bay. No wonder they turned to Jersey Shore as they went along.

(image taken from Episode 5, Season 3: The Demiurge)

Even just the main characters' purported edginess, clearly something "of its time", is never played entirely straight. Both leads are way too complex, and very clearly presented as such, to be just summed up by "Æon Flux is an anarchist/Trevor Goodchild is a dictator". Both of which are true, by the way, they're just one part of a full picture. Even within the context of its necessary linearity - this is still an animated short and as such moves only in one direction, even though a number of episodes (specifically Mirror and Chronophasia) deliberately fuck with the viewer's perception of times on varying degrees of diegesis and extradiegesis - the series could be perceived as, indeed, a sandbox: consequently, the viewer could set sail and explore it. This is further encouraged by the series's active weirdness to whoever would want to try and make sense of the world's story. There is no history, there is just the story at hand: an eternal present which you can't understand ("un eterno presente che capire non sai": Ferretti knew his shit, regardless of how it went after CCCP) and which Æon and Trevor are not interested in even trying to contextualize. Not a surprise then that they'd be into each other: their closeness in body and heart doesn't exist at the mind's level, and the whole thing falls apart miserably every time it looks like they could be finally let their weapons down. But as Æon completely understands, and as Trevor seems to actively try to ignore, the fight is already the whole point: star-cross'd as they may be, the entire act of playfully hunting each other for sport both in the bedroom and on the battlefield is what Trevor Goodchild and Æon Flux thrive on. Trevor wants stability but an Æon who doesn't fight back is simply not Æon; Æon does not want the stability, but she definitely likes Trevor to an extent and finds more in common with him that she would probably be willing to admit (I would like to thank Tumblr user @brw on thons very good analysis of the episode A Last Time for Everything, which heavily inspired this section of the post!). In short: if Trevor seems to embody Pier Paolo Pasolini's idea that "there is nothing more anarchistic than power" ("non c'è nulla di più anarchico del potere") then Æon flips the statement on its head: "there is nothing more powerful than anarchism". That is, of course, until we once again confront my signature ad-hoc elephant in the room that this statement just summoned.

(Image taken from Episode 1, Season 1)

No spoilers intended, but if you so much as google the name of the series you will easily find out that Æon Flux dies a whole lot throughout the series*. Season 1 and all the shorts from season 2 end with her dying ungrateful deaths and a couple of the long episodes leave much to be desired in the way of positive closure, with Ether Drift Theory representing a peak in bleakness for season 3. Most of the shorts where Æon dies imply that either absolutely nothing changes in the world around when she's lost or that Trevor Goodchild literally just succeeds in all of his goals (see Season 1's finale), and one could make a case that even if she did carry her missions through there would be absolutely nothing to show for it: somebody goes up the chain of power, everything is restored, there is one more tyrant to murder. Not to be that one guy who quotes Nietzsche about everything, but the eternal recurrence of the same is the first thing that comes to mind when watching Æon Flux, especially exemplified and even literalized by the episode War, possibly the best of the short ones: it's the same fucking story four times over a five-minute run time and nothing ever gets better for anyone. The body count in the episode is unquantifiably large - every one of the fallen a potential new Æon Flux or Trevor Goodchild. But this, in a way, implies that Æon keeps being reborn, and one could argue that the act of capturing a fly with her venus-fly-trap eye could simply be her coming back to life, as it were; stopping the most evident sign of decay, turning her eyes outward yet again, to face the eternal return of the same again and again and again…

(Image taken from Episode 8, Season 3: Ether Drift Theory)

You can find Æon Flux for free on the Internet Archive.

*as I was discussing the final draft of this post with my friend @oldshittydog we had a pretty interesting discussion which I thought should be added here for an even clearer, fuller picture:

[shut-the-doors]

What to expect from spring 2024?

Let's talk about anime. Last spring was an intense one for anime fans, but what can we expect this year?

TV shows

First, we will discuss the new titles, and then we will briefly mention the new seasons of the old ones.

Kaiju No.8

Action, adventure, Sci-Fi

The new title of Production I.G studio ("Haikyuu!!", "Moriarty the Patriot", "Vinland Saga" and a bunch of other great titles)

Giant monsters are attacking Japan (where else could this happen). The defense forces kill these kaiju, but the main character, Kafka Hibino, is not one of them. He has another job, he is a cleaner, he cleans up kaiju corpses after battles. However, very soon he gets a chance to realize his childhood dream and join the defense forces, but unexpectedly begins to turn into a kaiju.

I expect at least an average title from this studio, so I will wait.

Gods' Game We Play (Kami wa Game ni Ueteiru.)

Comedy, Drama, Ecchi, Fantasy, Romance

The anime studio LIDENFILMS (Tokyo Revengers, Insomnia After School, Call of the Night) is an adaptation of a light novel.

The gods had too much free time and instead of finding a job, they created an intellectual game to test mortals. They did not think about the name for a long time - "Game of Gods". An ex-goddess is looking for a true gaming pro to challenge the supreme Gods.

Go, go, Loser Ranger! (Sentai Daishikaku)

Action, fantasy, shounen

The new title of the little-known Yostar Pictures studio. The original source is the manga.

Earth was being attacked by aliens, so the humans assembled a squad of Power Rangers to stop them. After an attack on the decision-making centers, the top aliens were destroyed and the humans made a deal with the others. Aliens are allowed to live, and they have to pretend every Sunday that they are attacking Earth. And so, every week for thirteen years, the aliens invent a "monster of the week", and people kill it. But this show did not suit everyone. During the 999th battle, one of the aliens decides to attack for real, but fails. Then this alien comes up with a brilliant plan. Using his cosmic ability, he transforms into one of the Rangers and infiltrates the organization to destroy it from within.

WIND BREAKER

Action, drama, comedy, school, shounen

Titled by CloverWorks, known for The Spy x Family

Haruka Sakura is a sigma-male, so he doesn't want anything to do with weaklings. He enters a school for hooligans, known for the fact that everyone fights there just for fun, because he wants to become a local authority. However, it turns out that the students of this school are not just hooligans, they help and protect the residents of the city.

A Condition Called Love (Hananoi-kun to Koi no Yamai)

Drama, romance, shojo, school

East Fish Studio, source - manga.

She did not think of falling in love, but she saw Him and fell in love. That's all. Another romantic title.

And now everyone take a breath

I Was Reincarnated as the 7th Prince So I Can Take My Time Perfecting My Magical Ability (Tensei Shitara Dai Nana Ouji Dattanode, Kimamani Majutsu wo Kiwamemasu)

Adventure, fantasy, slice of life, isekai

Why do you need a description when there is a title?

Did you exhale? Now inhale again.

As a Reincarnated Aristocrat, I’ll Use My Appraisal Skill to Rise in the New World (Tensei Kizoku, Kantei Skill de Nariagaru)

An ordinary Japanese office worker (who else could it be?) was reborn. Of the skills, he was given only the appraisal skill, in magic and swordsmanship he is a complete 0. Another isekai.

Whisper Me a Love Song (Sasayaku You ni Koi wo Utau)

Drama, music, romance

The title is about girls, love and music.

Mission: The Yozakura Family (Yozakura-san Chi no Daisakusen)

Action, comedy, romance, shonen

Studio SILVER LINK.

Taio Asano lost his entire family in a car accident and became a sigma. However, he has a childhood friend, Mutsumi Yozakura, whom he of course falls in love with. There is only one problem, Yozakura is a family of spies and Mutsumi's brother wants to kill Tayo. The main character joins the Yozakura family, becomes a spy and gets a life, and we get a family spy comedy.

New seasons of old titles:

Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku wo! 3

Mushoku Tensei II: Isekai Ittara Honki Dasu Part 2

Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken 3rd Season

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba Hashira Training Arc

Boku no Hero Academia 7

Date A Live V

Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei 3rd Season

Yuru Camp△ SEASON 3

Spice and Wolf: merchant meets the wise wolf

Black Butler: Public School Arc

Movies

Dead Dead Demon's Dededededestruction

Comedy, Drama, Sci-fi, Slice of Life

I'm really looking forward to the release, because it's an anime based on the manga by Inio Asano (the author of "Goodnight PunPun"), although I don't know how they'll fit everything into movie, so I'm a little afraid of being disappointed.

The alien threat loomed over Japan (they could get used to it). The characters are high school girls who live life in the conditions of the end of the world. They grow up and begin to understand that real demons do not come from other planets.

I highly recommend it to everyone who liked PunPun.

Kurayukaba and Kuramerukagari

Kurayukaba and spin-off Kuramerukagari are original feature-length anime films.

Kurayukaba is a mystery film - with a romantic atmosphere of the Taisho era and powerful gadgets - about a detective Sutarou who solves a mass disappearance and steps into the underground world known as Kuragali.

Kuramerukagari is a story that unites people and the city. A coal mining town full of small excavators, it is widely known as "Hakoniva". In this city, which changes every day like a maze, there is a girl named Kagari who runs a mapping business and a boy named Yuya who dreams of escaping Hakoniva. Later, these two, along with the unique inhabitants of the city, face a conspiracy that shakes the whole city. The fate of "Hakoniva" depends on Kagari's drawings on the map.

Also, this season films with already familiar titles will be released:

Blue Lock: EPISODE Nagi Code Geass: Dakkan no Rozé

[mad0katsuki]

Tw vent and mention of the 💀

Today is November 2nd and is almost to end.

I think that almost no one is aware of my nationality as such (since I mostly write in English and even though I say that my native language is Spanish, there are too many countries that speak it lol), but mentioning the first thing, it shows that I am from Mexico, so Yes, this is a Day of the Dead post. In my family we don't celebrate it much as they usually show it, altars, going to the cemetery, spending it with the family, etc. But they tend to get very sentimental on this day. I say usually because it never happened to me like that, not until this year.

I had never lost someone so relevant in my life that I felt completely sad. I have too many dead relatives, but I never cared much, it only hurt me to see how close relatives of mine suffered, and that was what hurt me. Somehow I felt very empty and selfish.

I have only been to two funerals before last year, my paternal grandfather's and my great-grandmother's. I never met my great-grandmother until I saw her in a photo because she was cremated; On the other hand, I knew my grandfather when I was little but I didn't like him very much because of how he treated my father. But I still cried. I cried for my grandfather, my mother and my uncles who had lost the person who kept my maternal family closer. I cried for my father who, although he seemed cold, I know how much he suffered when he lost the man he once wanted to be on good terms with. I never cried for the dead ones.

My dad had a sister, which made her my aunt. I would say that she was the only one of her siblings that I really knew, I went to her house, ate what she prepared, played with me, talked to her and was the mother of the only cousins I talk to, but there was a problem, she had an illness that It only got worse (they never told me what it was). A year ago in March she passed away. It was the first time I felt like I lost part of my soul. It was very stressful, especially for my dad because she was the only one of his sisters he talked to and cared for, but she was no longer there. I remember that during the entire wake, mass and funeral I couldn’t attend, I spent it in my bed. I couldn't see anyone, least of all my dad. But that only lasted one weekend because no matter how sad I am, they don't let me stay like that for long (lol), I just stayed sad.

I couldn't talk to my cousins for a long time, the truth is I didn't talk to almost anyone about it, I think the only ones who knew were my countability teacher and an ex friend with whom I fought at that time, but that's another story. I think I lost a lot of people by being in that mood.

Then during that period I lost my first cat, Peluso. He was already old and only lasted several months with me, I think he was just looking for a safe place to leave, but he was the only living being that I felt for a long time understood me.

Last year I was still stuck with that thing about my aunt and my cat, but this year I realized that neither of them are there. It's the first time I don't feel angry that someone is leaving me, it's the first time I'm actually crying about how I feel, I feel sad, they don’t leave me because they wanted to, they just gone. I want to visit my aunt again. I want to hug my cat again. I miss them a lot.

If you read this thank you. I feel really weird talking about this subject and I tried to don’t look like an attention seeker or something, I just wanted to let out something that is on my mind frequently. Even more when my dad say that even if I look like my mother I have the freckles of that auntie heh

Have a great night/day/evening

Y para mi gente Latino feliz día de los muertos, si perdieron a un ser querido o a alguna mascotita espero que hayan podido pasar la noche con ustedes <3

[rainbows-and-love-for-all]

As I am certain can be seen by anyone stumbling onto my page (my heather is a picture of the five of them, my profile picture is of the lyrics from one of my favourite songs of theirs, and my pinned post is my all time favourite performance of theirs), I am a huge fan of One Direction.

The news of Liam's passing have hit hard. It felt like there kept coming shocking information about what he is like behind the scenes now, and how much he had changed from the sweet child he was in the band into a troubled person that couldn't handle all that he had gone through, and while this isn't an excuse, it is an explanation for what he had become: an abusive partner.

The news of him taking advantage of the fans, to my knowledge, unconfirmed, were devastating and hit hard to a person that had previously idolised them.

In the wake of his death, though, I have had to deal with two conflicting emotions, as I know many directioners also had. Firstly, as cliché as it is to say it again when so many people have said it already, a part of my childhood and formative years, my whole teenagehood, has died with him. How do you reconcile that with the pain you feel knowing what he has done and how he has acted?

Regardless of Liam the person, to us he was an entertainer and part of a group we formed a community around. The songs spoke to us, and whether you like it or not, he had a lot of writing credits there, and for someone who needed to drown out shouting in my own house, 1D in my earphones was all I could do to protect myself and go to a happier mental place instead.

If you are pained by this, you are not a bad person. Acknowledge the pain he has inflicted upon others, that is our duty, don't send Maya any hate because she is not at fault. She had a right to speak about her experiences and bring awareness to what he was doing behind stage.

It is sad that he couldn't handle it in a healthy manner, and the ones who are suffering the most right now are his son, for whom my heart breaks, and his loved ones. As someone has already stated, humans are multifaceted beings, and Liam will be missed by his parents, his friends and family.

As it happened with me, I am certain it happened with many of you as well, that you cried when the news finally sunk it, that it wasn't just false news the way it had been before, and I bet the statements from the boys were hard to read. I couldn't see them through my tears.

It is a very unfortunate situation. I am sure Maya feels guilty, although the fault is not her own. His death was so unexpected, and the manner of it is what makes it feel even more surreal.

I am writing this in a farewell to a man that I didn't know, but who had previously, when he still had a better support system (or maybe, when things like this were buried more easily, but I don't even want to find out more), been an important role model, and who had done good things, and, more recently, bad things and who has helped me grow up and be in a happier mental state, while also being a source of pain to his ex-fiancée.

I know, parasocial. I don't idolise them any more, they are humans with flaws, all of them, and I don't support their wrongdoings, and I hadn't supported Liam's either. But I don't think it is wrong to take some time to mourn what could have been if he had managed to find the ambition to stay on the sober track, to make and release that album and, as his own lyrics say, to be a better man.

And we can all mourn the child with the bright eyes who wanted to be a singer, and was stuck in a box and taken out only when it was convenient to the public.

The jokes about his death are insensitive, if not to him, at least to the people in his life who loved him.

As a last important thing to note, people claiming this was a last dig at Maya, I want you all to think very carefully about it. If it was, he would have left a message, or he would have called her and told her of what he was intending to do, because through this he could have manipulated her into talking to him at least. He did no such thing. This was a pure tragedy.

Any theory, whatever the truth, is absolutely heartbreaking. Jumping into the pool, falling because he couldn't stand up right, or jumping to commit, all of these are just as painful. At 31, he still had a lot more to live, a lot more to atone for, and a son to watch and help grow into an adult.

Rest in peace, Liam. I hope justice can find you there, and that you can finally let go of the turmoil that has been pestering you for years. It is unbelievable how fame and being a celebrity can affect your mental health.