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leeknow-bestboy · 4 years ago

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If You Close One Eye - Chapter One

Ships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Bang Chan/Yang Jeongin | I.N, If you really squint you can notice Lix is into Binnie, Hyunjin was into everyone once

Characters: All the kids, The ex kid isn't here I edited him out, Other Character Tags to Be Added

Trigger warnings: panic attack, ptsd, original character death, homophobia, original character cheating, descriptive imagery.

Word count: 5277

Chapter: 1/?

Next chapter

Tags: Murder Mystery, amateur detective minho, Soulmates, not your typical soulmate AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Slow Burn, Slow Build, good things take time let it slowburn, minho is singlehandedly responsible for the slow burn so blame him, no soulmates in this universe only they are, criminology student minho, art student jisung, POV Third Person, chan deserves better and he does indeed get better don't worry, art references please look stuff up, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, best sibling bond ever.

"If you close one eye, you can see what your soulmate sees"

Born with one eye an unnatural golden color, Minho and Jisung have been forced to cover them up with colored lenses in order to blend into society.

The magic to their eyes? Even they still didn't know.

This is the story of how criminology major and dance minor Lee Minho found himself hopelessly in love with the serial killer, local artist Han.

[Alternatively, let's see how long I can make these two dumbasses pine without one of them snapping. Edit: they finally did]

[Also WARNING: a HUGE amount of Jeongchan ahead, it's not subtle at all! So much fluff--]

As per usual, the playground was packed; children of all ages ran wild, squalling and laughing like the little menaces they were- all of them avoiding a short kid who couldn't be older than five, seated at the very end of the sandbox and holding back tears of offense and loneliness.

It's not that he got bullied, he wasn't. His mom raised a tough kid who'd bite back when he's bit, but no one would play with him now. Not with how he looks, they'd rather scream and run.

Five year olds shouldn't worry about that.

Rubbing his left eye- the good one, he could see a woman's shoulder and hair. Her smile, bright and comforting, wording out a song with no sound.

"Jisung!" His mother's voice rang aloud, recognizable and warm in the hostile environment.

"Baby," She called again, finding him and wrapping her son in her arms. For the moment, there was no strange woman- only his own mother.

Jisung sniffled. "I hate people." -These words that shouldn't be said by a child flowed so easily from his lips, as if it was the only reasonable conclusion.

"We need to talk about something" his mother's voice, once excited and lively sounded utterly defeated. Little did he know, it was the last time. Years of telling him he's perfect just the way he is, special and unique in a good way, definitely- have ended up making no difference in the end.

That day, he learned to put on contact lenses.

"I know you're upset about the divorce, but you have to accept that it happened."

The woman's voice, high pitched and unpleasant, drove Minho ever so slightly closer to the edge. By now he knew no adult in the world would ever take him seriously, so what was the point in sitting here and listening to her talk?

The woman pursed her lips, plump and telling of the many times they went under the scalpel. Tapping her foot, she hazily reminded Minho of his own mother when scolding was due.

"If you don't talk to me, that's fine. Nothing's going to change. I get paid by the hour you know, I can do this all day."

That being said, she was probably stressed- no therapist had ever gotten Minho to talk, he's been changing doctors since his hallucinations began, which adds to a little over three years now.

"Minho, I can't help you like this. Tell your mother I give up."

A sense of dread spread over the eight years old. Again, another adult doesn't get it. Another one giving up on him, leaving, and suddenly he wanted her to stay. Pretty badly he did, at the time.

"I don't care that my parents broke up, I've been seeing monsters all day"

The woman blinked, stunned into silence. At the tinge of tears he rubbed his right eye- and there it was, certain as ever; drawn with a sharpie, people with horns. In a moment, a pair of hands that weren't his took the drawing away and pulled out a new one, drawing harshly a sad smiley face.

Although he was a big boy, he cried right then, scared out of his mind and very confused. He cried so hard it almost slipped off- the contact lens hiding his mother's disgrace.

Looking up, the woman made no effort to comfort or dissolve his fright. Rather, she was scribbling down the whole ordeal. Taking notes, furiously assessing and picking him apart, she finished her analysis smugly and said,

"It's time we get you a prescription, my dear"

And that was definitely not the last of it.

"Oppa"

Minho groaned lowly, alerting the speaker to the fact he's been woken from sleep.

"Minho oppa!" the voice persisted. Fully intent on hanging up, Minho side glanced at the caller id to make sure it wasn't important.

"Motherfucker!" the voice on the other end rose. From the corner of the bed Doongie meowed, alarmed.

"Freaking shrimp, what do you think you're calling your oppa?" He blurted. This isn't a call he should skip.

"Egg laying bastard! Answer me when I call you!" His sister's comforting voice trickled out.

"Gremlin twarp!"

"ballerina!"

"Whiny child!"

"Prune old man!"

"spoiled princess!"

"Mean hoe!"

"-!" Wheeze.

"I got you, you horrible gay bitch"

"We're both gay, Ryu" He threw back.

It's been a while since she last called.

"Well, you live alone, so I assume you're doing much gayer things than I can do at home."

Minho started, failing to hold back his horrified gasp. "Ryujin, you're eighteen!" He exclaimed. It seemed like yesterday she was still following him around, like some baby duckling.

"She's being mean Doongie, like you three don't count." He added, Ryujin electing to ignore his comment.

"How's dance going?" her tone changed, turning softer. For all their differences, dance for sure has always been something both loved and loved together. From copying idols on TV, to taking ballet and hiphop together, Jazz too.

"I'm not in college for dance and you know it" He groaned, immediately softening as well.

"I miss it a lot. I wish I could do more than minor in it.." On the other side of the call Ryujin hummed, understanding. She has always known his passion best.

"You're good at what you do too. You'd make a kickass detective." She claimed.

"I'm not taking criminology to be a detective." Why she had to be reminded was beyond him. If anything he aimed to be an officer, someone to tell kids off if they mess with the neighborhood cats.

"I'm just saying you could be!" She defended- which wasn't wrong, if he played job openings right. He did have a knack for picking apart mystery books too, but that was nothing out of the usual.

"How's grad life?" He asked with genuine interest. Nothing could ever matter to him more.

"I asked Chelle out, finally." She said, and Minho couldn't help but notice the edge evident in her voice.

"What happened? Did she let you down? Should I come over?" The questions left his lips before he could consider them, worry clouding over him.

"No, it's nothing like that. She said yes, but.. Yeah, oppa, I really wish you were here. I need to talk to you, face to face. Mom misses you too." She ended lamely. It was so unlike her, Minho couldn't find it in him to correct the fact that it was only Ryu's mom and not his.

"Tell her I'll be visiting tonight then, I'll go get ready." He said, fully intent on making the sudden drive over. It was only a two hour ride over to his father's, where Ryujin and his step mother lived too. If he headed out now, he could make it before dinner.

"Really? You don't have to, I know you hate it here-" Her attempts of taking it back wouldn't work once he set his mind to do something.

"Really really. I miss my stinky troll sister too," He insisted. No way was he leaving her be. The moment something felt off with her, he knew he had to go make sure she's fine; there aren't many things as precious in his life as she is.

"Dumbass," she relented, voice worryingly relieved. "I'll go tell mom."

He smiled, tapping his nail on the headboard, now sitting up at his bed. "Bye"

She huffed, pausing for a moment before giving her last reply. "Goodbye, oppa. I love you."

Minho sighed, leaning his forehead against the steering wheel.

For what little time he spent at his father's place, a surprising amount of bad memories were made. Up until his teen years he wouldn't even enter, and every time after that made for a rich history; first panic attack, first time breaking a leg falling down the stairs, coming out, taking Ryu to junior prom- door shut in his face that time, claiming she was grounded for beating up the neighbor's son. First time stung by a bee, and that weekend when his father's doberman puppy bit him in play, tore open his front lip and got sent to a dog pound despite his protest.

'Come on,' he thought. 'You can do this. Count to three-' and at three he did, opened his car door and walked up through the front gate.

"Minho! How lovely to see you." Smiled his step mom, a warm, if not a tad unnerving woman.

"Nice to so see you too. How have you been?" He asked, clean-cut manners kicking in. Dal and Byul had meanwhile made their way running over to the door, immediately rubbing against him with some level of desperation. He leaned down, rubbing Dal's small head.

"I've been well, your father too- that's right! Honey, come say hi to Minho." The short, lean woman called, still blocking the entrance to the oversized house and keeping Minho at the door. Whether this was on purpose shall forever remain a mystery- she did it every time.

"That brat has nothing to do in this house" His father's voice warmed over.

"Hi dad." He tried still, calling over the woman's shoulder. "Can I come in?"

Said obstacle smiled, moving aside at last. "Of course sweetie, Ryujin will be right over."

Taking that exchange for what it was, he made fast pace towards the kitchen. Avoiding his father has become a praised skill by now, a crucial one by all means.

"Dallie, Byulie, psps" he tried, pleased when both ran on over towards his outstretched hand. Two more allies at the ready.

Light steps cleared the remaining discomfort sullying his mood in short moments. "You!" A pair of arms tightened around his shoulders, prompting Minho to lift his little sister in a piggyback.

"You too!" He answered, relieved at feeling welcomed at last.

"I can't believe you actually came. Did you tell your mother you're over?" She asked, tactless as ever. He loves her a whole lot for that, too.

"She's not the boss of me, I'm twenty one" He announced, eyes closed in a content smile as his sister gently pet his hair like a cat.

"What about me? I'm almost nineteen, I wish I was free like you, Lino!" Exclaimed Ryujin, but really she didn't. There was a certain freedom gained from nobody caring about you that no one should be jealous of.

Letting her hop back onto the ground, Minho kept the smile on his face. She seemed fine, but he could tell better. Still, they couldn't talk before dinner- the pots and pans at the stovetop smelled just about ready, after all.

Instead he turned to face her, petting her head lovingly like she had his. "What's this? This tiny Ryuddaeng's nineteen? No way."

"Almost!" she growled. "Next month I'll be."

"Where have the times gone?" he questioned, shoving her playfully at the comments of "old man".

Dinner went as uncomfortably as expected, his father and he had behaved remarkably well- hadn't spoken a word to each other throughout. Minho ate neatly, made sure to compliment his step mother for every dish, and Ryujin helped by washing them after. All in all, it was successful unlike many dinners before.

Making way to the guest bedroom, Minho paused at the sight of his sister's door left slightly open. Right, yes- this would be a good time.

Knocking quietly, he waited for permission before entering and closing the door, waiting for Byul to enter alongside him. "Are you alright?"

Ryujin nodded, glancing up at him and back to the floor. He took that as a sign to take a seat down on her fancy dragon themed carpet.

"Are you really alright? Ryujin, I know we're not great communicators, but I'm still very worried. Is it dad?" At that his sister shook her head, taking a deep breath.

"Don't get mad, but I have a huge favor. You know Chelle, I swore I'll ask her out when I graduate and I did, but she…" Minho crossed and uncrossed his legs, chin finding its place resting on a knee. Byul purred, rubbing against it.

"She's missing. She's been missing for two weeks now, no one knows where she is." She explained, voice stern.

"I don't think she ran away, but her parents keep saying she did. She said nothing to me." She added, hoping he'd fill in the rest on his own.

"They're not filling in for missing person?" He asked, worry making his back stress and ace.

Ryujin nodded. "I know she's the bad girl type, but she wasn't into drugs and her friends seem fine. I keep trying to ask around but I can't, what if something serious happened?"

Minho nodded, realizing where he comes in. "You want me to investigate? See where that takes us?" He asked. For sure, that should be the police's job- but with her parents saying she ran away, would they even bother?

Ryujin kept quiet, eyes burning holes into Minho's. This was her crush, a big one- he's never liked Chelle, but now? If Ryujin cares that much… sure. It's not something he should be messing with legally, and a new project to be added atop his ever growing college work, but he'd do it for her. "Okay."

"Okay?" Ryujin asked back, relieved.

"Yes. I'll do it." He assured.

Ryujin's features softened farther, mouth breaking into a smile. "You're my new favorite person."

Minho smiled lightly, mind running full speed. "I need details. When and where she was last seen, and about her; exes, Instagram, friends and hangouts."

Ryujin's smile faded. Nonetheless she turned, pulling a notebook out of her bedside drawer.

Scribbling away the details he requested, she paused to ask a couple questions before turning back to her chore. "I know less than I thought." She admitted.

"That's fine, but I have a few more. How was her mental state, where did she study, was she on meds and did she mention any places?"

This kept on for a few hours, ending after they let an annoyed Byul out of the room - with Ryujin tiredly announcing that her brain is fried and he can ask the rest over chat when he's back in college. On his end, Minho learned one important thing:

This girl was not who she seemed to be.

Back at his apartment, Minho re-read all eleven papers of info they've gathered. On the way he's prepared a list of places to visit, only two of which stemmed from the info Ryujin herself had given him. Other than the school and family bistro down the street, it seemed the two have never gone out together, although Chelle was one to do so.

Good, he thought.

Scrolling through her Instagram, he noted which followers seemed to comment more, and who would show most often on highlights. Her latest post have been boring- it was landscape art of what he assumed to be a tall grass field on the outskirts of seoul. Around three months back he found a picture of some guy at the beach, shirt off and abs in clear view. Seeing as he looked nothing like Chelle, it would seem they weren't related.

Sorting through the packed comment section, someone's request to take it down stood out. Tapping on the person's icon, he realized that was probably the guy in the picture, although the account was made private. An ex? That would make a good trail.

Not having an account himself, by now Minho has used Ryujin's, but to follow guys it would seem he needs his own account.

Setting up all the necessities, he took a nice picture of Dori and made it his profile, sending the guy a follow request right away.

Now we wait.

"Oppa, if you have no photos or description and no followers, and he doesn't know you, did you really expect he'd approve your request?" Ryujin's laughter trickled through the speakers, as if it's been obvious. "You're going to have to find him." She pointed, before hesitantly adding, "Or I can-"

"No." Minho said, stern. "This guy could be Chelle's ex, he might be really dangerous! You don't get to follow his Instagram."

Ryujin sighed, and Minho got the sudden mental image of her rubbing the bridge of her nose as she did. "You have friends right? Ask one of them." She advised.

"I need to go, dad said I can't go out unless I finish these applications." She explained, hanging up after a round of goodbyes.

Right. He did! He has friends.

Picking his phone back up, Minho scrolled his contacts looking for either Felix or Hyunjin. The two weren't in his major, but they shared a dance class. Out of the student body, they were closest to his definition of friends.

A couple rings went by before the line picked up. "Hyung? Hello!" Felix's cheerful voice calmed the older's nerves ever so slightly.

"Felix, hi." He answered, trying to seem casual. "How are you?"

Felix took a moment before responding. "I'm great! I'm actually out with Chan hyung, is something up?"

"Who?" Minho asked, confused.

Felix took another moment. "Bang Chan. He's a fourth year in sociology, I don't think you'll know him."

Minho came close to a sob right then. "Can you pass him the phone?"

"Yeah sure." Felix agreed immediately, followed by ruttling sounds.

"Hello?" A voice sounded, accent similar to Felix's own.

"Hi! My name is Minho, I followed you on Instagram a couple days ago."

A short silence. "Oh my god." Chan exclaimed.

"No, never mind that, I need to talk to you." He rephrased.

"I have no idea who you are." Chan replied, confused.

"It's about Chelle." Minho added, hoping to learn anything from the other's reply.

"Oh." Was all he got. "Okay, I guess we should meet sometime then. How is she?"

The question caught Minho off guard.

"I, I'll tell you more when we meet. When are you free?" he asked, quickly seeking out a pen and scribbling the time and date on his wrist, phone squeezed between his ear and shoulder.

"Yeah, sounds great! See you then." He concluded, getting passed back to Felix and thanking him profoundly before hanging up.

"In my own college." He muttered after the phone found its place back on the table.

"Unbelievable."

Not many people occupied the café, despite its convenient location not far off the olympic park. For that reason Minho concluded, the coffee there probably sucked.

It wasn't his intention to show fifteen minutes early, but his nerves got the best of him, taking shape in miserable pacing until he deemed it late enough to leave his apartment already. Worst case scenarios running through his mind, he wasn't expecting it as someone took seat in the chair opposite of his.

"Hello. It's Minho, right?" Asked the stranger, dimples forming in an awkward smile.

"Ah." Minho voiced dumbly before quickly picking himself up adding,

"You're Chan?"

In the short time that passed between first learning of Chan's existence and actually seeing him, Minho's mind managed to fill with expectations and fears, all of which shattered right in that moment.

First of all, the guy in the picture had very defined abs and arm muscles, making it seem as if he'd be your average muscle-head, someone who could pull apart limbs off boys like Minho- a description that apparently had nothing in common with the hesitant and awkward person in front of him. Rather, he found that this Chan was a tad shorter than him, barely filling the light gray sweater he threw on.

Secondly, while the photo showed a man with straight dark brown hair, the man in front of him had soft blond curls that seemed so, so fluffy- invoking a primal urge to pet them in, Minho assumed, not only himself, but also every innocent bystander.

Lastly, by the amount of english in his Instagram description, one would expect an obvious accent, but that had been proven false on the phone call anyway. Regardless, Minho imagined a foreigner, so seeing his face up close had been a surprise on its own, especially considering the smile… he was, how would he put it? Cute.

"Yeah! Nice to meet you. I was worrying I'd be early, but it's good to see you are too." Minho could only half process the words, a glance at his phone telling him they both still had around ten minutes before the planned meetup time.

"Right! Right, I wanted to talk to you." Minho started, forcibly clearing his mind of any strange thoughts.

"You said it was about Chelle? I assume you're her new boyfriend?" Chan asked, voice a bit strained.

"No, It's not like that. I wanted to know if you've heard from her for the last couple weeks." Minho replied, quick to correct him so to not make things needlessly awkward. Right, he thought- Chan still might have had something to do with this girl's disappearance.

"Oh, well, I actually hadn't, I try not to do that anymore. We didn't end things on good terms." Chan confessed, picking Minho's interest.

"What happened?" He asked, worries picking back up.

Chan paused. "Are you her friend? This kind of thing is a little personal, I don't want it to affect your friendship."

Minho blinked, thinking up a smaller scale storm. "I live in her neighborhood. We're not very close, but some things happened that made me look for you."

Chan hesitated, saved by the waiter's interruption asking which drinks the two would have. Still suspicious, Minho only ordered a small iced americano, Chan matching with a small iced tea.

"You probably know we dated for around two months, it ended after I found she was cheating for a long time."

Minho's breath hitched, dangerously close to choking on his coffee. "She cheated on you?"

Chan's expression fluttered before he nodded, sheepish smile back on. "Kind of pathetic, isn't it? I couldn't hold her attention. At least, the others didn't know."

Minho gaped, unsure how to handle the new information. Chelle, the girl Ryujin asked him to look for. Was that her true nature? "What do you mean others?"

Chan's embarrassment grew, yet he didn't look away. "We were around.. five, I think.. that I know of. I followed her for a bit."

The awkwardness settled, leaving both speechless.

"Okay, I'm really sorry but I still need to ask you a couple more things." Minho was the first to break the silence.

"Go ahead." Chan smiled in relief.

"Were you mad? Wait, no- Can you think of anyone who could have held a grudge against her? More than, I guess, this."

Chan shook his head. "She's a really nice girl! She has some serious issues, but I liked her a lot at the time."

Minho bit his lip, ready to push on. "Chan, I'm going to be honest with you.. Chelle's been missing for over two weeks now."

If Chan was drinking at the moment, it would have been his turn to choke. "What?" he asked, voice steady.

"I got in touch with you because right now, nobody knows where she is. Or someone does know, but I don't" Minho explained, hoping his message went through alright.

"Are you sure she's not ghosting you? She might be." Chan offered. Minho stiffened. If Chelle was fine, if she was ghosting his sister- there will be hell to pay.

"I don't think so?" he continued anyway.

"I can't remember a specific person who would want to hurt her, but.. God, I'm worried. Chelle's gone? Like, kidnapped or.." Chan paused, taking deep breaths.

"If you have any information on where she could be, it would help a lot. I don't know her well, I'm not sure who else to ask either." Minho added.

"What do you want to know?" Chan asked, worry clouding his face in an unpleasant way. Minho almost felt, scratch that- he did feel really bad for the guy.

"Hangouts, friends, habits, names of other exes- mental state too, it's a little invasive but I can't find her otherwise." Chan stared, eye contact with Minho intensifying as neither averted their gaze.

"Okay." Chan replied after a while. "I don't really know you, but I guess it suits her. If anything happened, I wouldn't expect an officer anyway."

Slightly disturbed, Minho pulled his notes from his bag, offering Chan a big sheet of paper. Just like that, the two had begun- Just as Minho had with Ryujin before.

"I can't help with other Exes, I don't know any of their names. I do know where she hangs out usually." Chan supplied helpfully.

"Chelle, she's very into art. She thinks her art, only hers, is the best of the best. She considers herself an undiscovered gem, that kind of mentality. She'll do anything for exposure, and she likes compliments a lot." Chan bit his lip, pausing in his writing.

"She's not on good terms with her parents, and sometimes I remember, she said she wanted to run away. She has horrible mood swings, but when she's happy she can be the sweetest, most considerate person in the world. I think she had too much love in her, that's why…" Chan trailed off, sighing before shaking his head and writing down some more details.

"I'm not okay with that, you know? It's the worst kind of betrayal, but I'm still so worried. I never wanted anything to happen to her, I don't wish that for anyone." Minho hummed, recalling back on his previous suspicion, how ridiculous it seemed now to think that of this person.

So it went on, the two of them coming up with important details and question marks to jot down. Before they knew it the sky turned dark, an impatient barista politely asking them to leave.

"You have my number, right?" Chan asked.

"I don't." Minho replied, glad Chan remembered. The two exchanged phones, filling in their details with some hesitation.

"Call me if you need anything, or if you find her." Chan added, eyes glinting under the streetlights.

"You too, call me if you remember anything important." Minho replied, parting with a wave goodbye and heading towards the bus station.

It was only on his way back that he recalled their first exchange through the phone, and how stupid it had been to expect anything else from a friend of Felix's, of all people.

Groaning lowly, Minho moved his bag up, staring at the paper pile stuffed inside it neatly. Ahead was, he expected, a night full of reading- all 38 new pages of details about this girl, who he found himself liking less and less with every passing statement.

Over an extended time period Minho had found himself visiting many different places to no avail. He tried asking around, dropping Chelle's name here and there for good measures, but it seemed that the girl had vanished into thin air. Her only legacy had been the outrageous rumors surrounding her name, such as dating kids much younger than herself and having sex to get her way in the art world. Really, Minho should have stopped there- he wanted nothing to do with this girl anymore, was happy even; happy that she didn't get to lay her hands on his sister. Yet he couldn't stop thinking, this girl.. She was missing, it was real, and not one soul other than him have made a single attempt to locate her. How could he give up now?

It had been a long day- visiting a bar from the list in the morning before moving to a café nearby and finishing one of his assignments, Minho decided to follow up on Chelle's tracks. Twelve days have passed since his meeting with Chan, and although his anxiety kept getting worse, the list of things to check kept getting shorter with every lead he crossed out.

This one had honestly been a lame lead, but he wanted to make the most out of it- a short trip out of seoul, to a grass patch stretching a couple miles that was similar to the one he saw on her Instagram. If he couldn't find her with anyone's help, he thought- maybe he should try to think like her more. This girl, where would she go? Who would she meet? What would she do? And for that this practice was important, too.

The land stretched, tall grass for as far as the eye could see. He roamed around, looking at the tall buildings that made his home from afar. From here, definitely- he recognized the scenery as the one she drew that time. Stepping back through the grass, it didn't make much of a difference from how far he's already been, but the moment felt special somehow.

Minho breathed in, a strong breeze blowing from the front and carrying the dust and pollution of the city with it. Bad air, even this far back. At least it was silent, no cars, no birds either- it felt peaceful. Minho stepped back again, pulling out his phone, intending to take a photo. A couple more steps back, and he tripped- landing on his butt in the grass.

It was there that he found her.

Jisung stretched, back aching after sleeping in so late.

"Good morning, and good luck falling back asleep at a normal hour." Seungmin commented. True that, Jisung managed to mess his sleep schedule pretty badly. Good thing it was friday.

Standing up, he considered responding before giving up and making his way to the kitchen.

"Ji," Seungmin spoke up once more,

"At least brush your teeth. I'm your roommate, not your mom- I shouldn't have to tell you this!" His voice, although annoyed, remained calm. He did have a point.

"Okay mom." Jisung replied, deadpan. Without another word he turned, entering the bathroom and picking up his toothbrush to do as instructed.

Life as an art major was hard- he had so much work to do in little time, and the pressure made it feel a little like a job. Nowadays his minor in music made for the only stress reliever he could put time into without guilt, and he wondered if maybe he should have chosen it for major instead. Useless thinking about it now, anyway.

Jisung went on brushing, releasing a small whine at the thought of his next assignment. Whatever- he rolled his eyes, raising a hand to rub the remains of sleep away.

Tall grass, the clear view of seoul from afar- blurring, moving, fast as if he was struck by lightning.

The toothbrush clinked loudly against the sink as it dropped, leaving Jisung with the reflection of himself in the mirror, left hand raised. He made quick way, spitting the paste and powerwalking back to their room, brushing against Seungmin on his way there.

"Jisung? Jisung, you can't just leave this here." Seungmin bristled, pausing at the sight of Jisung pulling out his sketchbook with the craze of someone going through a revelation.

He sighed, recognizing the scene in front of him. "Inspiration struck?"

Jisung hummed, wiping his mouth and beginning to sketch. This happened every once in a while, it was one of the things that made Jisung… well, Jisung.

"I'll clean up. Should I order takeout?" Seungmin asked, affection sneaking into his voice. He's a bit weird, but sometimes he was cute too.

"Thank you, please." Jisung replied absentmindedly, focused on the paper.

"I will. Okay." Seungmin concluded, fishing his phone out to call his favorite fast food handler.

To them, after all, it was nothing more than an average friday night.

23 notes · View notes

theadorablespderman · 6 years ago

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Everything to love about Far From Home not in this order:

Literally seeing that opening with all our loved avengers that are no more.

Whitney Houston “I will always love you” made me cry because damnit Tony’s face was right THERE! NOT OK!

The blip footage was pretty damn funny not gonna lie.

Peter’s cute ass plan to tell MJ how he feels.

MJ’s favorite flower being a Black Dalia because of the murder. Literally a girl I can relate too. Murderinos for life sister. Idk but it just made her sooo relatable!

The fact that Brad is a kid grown up from the blip and that made him seem all the weirder for MJ.

Jealous Peter was so freaking amazing! Oh my gosh! That face he’d get. I’m a sucker for jealousy and they did it so good.

Making MJ this awesome character she was before but also obviously has this softer layer where she does have flaws and insecurities and she’s really sweet but also so badass. That was amazing.

The starting relationship between Peter and Beck. It was cute and so I was sad knowing that Beck was somehow going to be the villain.

Also let’s talk about how Beck is basically Syndrom from the incredibles.

That scene with Peter and Brad....the pure terror when he snapped that picture

Also seeing how big of a dick Brad is and how unhealthy jealous he was.

“Nick Fury” getting ghosted, showing up in Venice, tranquilising Ned (don’t touch him you monster) and then promptly highjacking Peters Summer trip.

Showing the emotional trama Peter is going through. The anxiety, the greiving. It was very reminiscent of Iron Man 3 when Tony suffers from PTSD after the battle of New York. I loved that they showed Peter reacting as any kid would, many adults too, which is to just try and forget anything happened but being faced with the reality every day. So well done.

Happy and May’s relationship. Enough said 😂😂

I feel cheated we didn’t see Mr delmore again.

Addressing all the problems the Blip/Snap created. High school aging, school, drinking ages, homelessness and housing issues. That’s just the start of it I’m sure but they covered those pretty well and I love that.

The technology that made Beck into Misterio was so well done. Instead of some frankly, kinda far fetched story that he came from an alternate earth (which I was willing to believe but felt it was a cop out in terms of plot and character) they showed the real world issues that superhero’s can create. The Enemies that have a real deep rooted hatred for hero because they’ve personally been betrayed or wronged by them. Because marvel has always made clear, everyone is not on the hero’s side.

Steeping Misterio’s powers in tech which is classing marvel but again, so brilliantly done in this movie. I loved the development. Because at first glance, half way through, I was thinking “wow this is really kinda weird and unexplained and too witchcraft for what marvel usually brings to the superpower backstory” I know it’s weird to say after everything marvel has done. But it seemed just a tad out there without being too hard to grasp. Which again was brilliantly done because that was the whole point.

The nod to Misterio’s helmet even when Beck was in the hologram suit watching everything play out. I guess it was his screen? But I loved the staple of even without his big over the top suit he still had the trademark helmet. Great costume design.

Peter’s soft gazes towards MJ. Nearly gave me a cavity they were so sweet! Ahhh sooo cute

Mr. Harrington’s marital problems nearly made me pee my pants....we all knew here in the fandom that shit like that would half to happen but my god lol

The opera scene was sooo freakin cute and that one step Peter took when he saw Brad move in was so freaking cute and hot!

MJ running after him and finding the critical peice of information to crack the case wide open. Loved it.

Betty and Ned’s Sicily sweet romance that you knew couldn’t possibly last. They really nailed the realistic high school romance. But I still ship it.

The bus scene was epic. And when Peter knocked Flash out...god it was amazing.

Mj obviously having love eyes towards Peter same as he does for her.

THE FACT THAT HE ACTUALLY BOUGHT THAT NECKLACE FOR HER OH MY GOD! I CANT GET A GUY TO TEXT ME BACJ LET ALONE BUY A NECKLACE LIKE THAT WHICH PROBABALY COST A GOOD CHUNK OF CHANGE IT WAS SO FREAKING AMAZING AND CUTE AND TOUCHING.

All the iron man images got me feeling depressed as hell

“are you being serious because I was only like 67% sure?” That was amazing. Seeing MJ get so excited and trying to keep that hidden was awesome

The fact that she was so pleased with herself but also played it hella cool when Ned walked in and she said she figured it out. Literally that is me.

The shirtless Peter trope that we all wanted and freaking got! So freaking cute how she tried to peak at his abs. Like understandable girl.

The fucking illusions. Turning our sweet trusting Peter into a ball of mess. I was too.

God when he had to tell himself it wasn’t real but it still totally feels like it is.

Him trying to save MJ when she’s “thrown off the Eiffel Tower”

Every traumatizing thing Beck shows and tells him during the illusion. So shitty.

Seeing Tony’s grave, seeing iron man come out. That was awful and we all felt it in the movie because we’ve lost him too. We could FEEL that slap same as Peter.

Beck telling Peter that Tony’s death was his fault. I was abouta hurl myself at the movie screen.

Every illusion done in a way that just when you think it’s over, it’s never stopped. You forget what’s real and you feel trapped in it same as Peter does.

WHEN HE GETS HIT BY THE TRAIN!!!!!!!!!! Nearly had a damn heart attack!!!! My mom had to look over and ask if I was ok because I literally stopped breathing for a solid 30 seconds.

Showing gradually just how insane and evil Misterio was.

HAPPY BEING CONCERNED FOR PETER! LIKE SINCERELY AND HONESTLY CONCERNED! It’s good to know he’s got Happy to take care of him and May but that Peter still has a father type figure he can count on after Tony. Because you know Tony wouldn’t have put up with any of that getting hit by a train shit.

Also where the hell was Karen? We missed her. We got Edith but Karen wouldn’t have let Misterio take her over. WHERE WAS KAREN!!

Peter crying and needing to know Happy was real. Broke me heart

That hug between them was so sweet and you can see the concern on Happy’s face

Happy and Peter opening up to each other was so awesome considering their relationship in Homecoming.

ALL THE TONY and PETER PARRELLS! All of them!!!!!!!!! Not the people saying “Spider-Man’s the next Ironman” no the actual hints and glimpses at how similar him and tony actually are. The hologram gauntlet shot, a straight parallel to Iron Man when Tony is building his first real suit. Obviously “Back in Black” by Led Zeplen (formally known as AC/DC) playing. Another obvious hint toward Tony. The Stark sunglasses. Peter falling with the parachute and it literally looks like Ironman with his jet stream behind him from a distance. There’s so much more I’ll do a whole other post on.

Of course: “I love Led Zeplin!” Hahaha it’s such a kid thing to say! I’ve said it before I knew the big differences between AC/DC and Led Zeplin. It was so freaking perfect.

Peter making his suit and Happy’s face. Bittersweet and I live for the affection he holds for Peter now.

The Netherlands Holding cell...must I say more?

Brad’s downfall and MJs amazing comment about him taking pictures of people in the bathroom. Ep-ic. Even flash was like “bro that’s so weird”

Mr. witchcraft was hilarious and I loved his aside with Brad “I’m gonna be the cool teacher and tell you you can’t do that anymore.”

Flash is definately Gay or Bi and I’m so here for it. That wink he makes to Peter proves it.

All the near death truths in the vault of the tower.

MJ BADDASS COMES SWINGING WITH THE MACE AND IT WAS LEGINDARY OH MY GOD! YES GIRL! She’s my idol I love her so much.

Peter and his “Peter Tingle” And while we’re on the subject the banana he gets to the face while packing.

Important. His amazing skills at the end trusting his instincts (which is great because May says in regards to MJ, but it applies to this too) May tells Peter to trust his instincts and don’t think too much. And that’s what he does when he defeats Beck.

The bad ass “you can’t fool me anymore” after redirecting the gun away from his head at the end. Literally was so intense and well done.

Peter and MJ’s kisses! I loved how awkward it was at first and the slightly less awkward one. They really accurately captured the awkwardness of teenagers in love. Like that’s what it’s like guys.

Show me MJ’s parents you cowards, or show me something. Anything. I just want to know the nature of the situation.

Ned and Betty’s breakup. So funny and honestly not surprising at all. But still I ship them.

The hand hold. So cute.

May and Peter still being the cutest aunt and nephew duo there ever was.

I totally thought Peter was going to end with telling the world he was spiderman....BUT SOME OTHER ASSHOLES DID IT FOR HIM AND MADE HIM INTO A VILLAN AND IM PISSED. LOOKING AT YOU MR JAMESON YOU PEICE OF SHIT.

The movie ended and I have no idea what’s next.

Mid credit of MJ swinging through New York. Home girl doesn’t like and neither do I. Looks full on terrifying we don’t blame you hun.

After credit where the skrulls have been playing Maria and Nick fury for the whole movie. Honestly it made more sense because Nick fury seemed just a bit off. ALSO WHERE IS THE REAL NICK FURY at and I’m so psyched to see where this new movies are gonna go!

Alright that all for now folks!!!! Everything about the movie was great!!! I will have to watch again ad see if anything more pops up. Sorry for any spelling errors I’m on my phone.

#peter parker #marvel #spiderman #mcu #michelle jones #spideychelle #spider-man #spider-man: homecoming #avengers #tony stark #ned leeds #spiderman far from home #spider man: far from home #far from home spoilers #spoilers

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im-not-a-joke · 5 years ago

Text

The Soulmate AU Thing

Whoop I wrote it

Read it on ao3

based off this post (and the comments on it)

warnings: none, really, there’s a little cursing and like a tad bit of internalized homophobia but it’s very minor

Relationships: Byler, Stoncy (but like, once, and its vague), Dustin/Lucas/Max/El

Wordcount: 1,753

you can also read it below the cut

The realization hit Mike like a truck.

Will and I are soulmates.

He had been minding his own business, just going about his regular day when he remembered the lab and Will’s episodes and seeing his best friend lose control of his own body. He remembered the Mark that was left exposed after the doctors had taken Will’s shirt. The same Mark that matched Mike’s own. He hadn’t thought about it at the time, being more concerned about his best friend being possessed. And he had forgotten in the aftermath, too busy focusing on said aftermath and the quickly approaching holidays.

Well, forgotten may have been a strong word. He didn’t think it ever left his mind, but he had pushed it to the side temporarily to deal with bigger problems. He had quoted it during his Big Emotional Speech, but that was beside the point.

Now it was January, and Mike was back in school and bored out of his mind, so he let it wander. And it wandered to the little black you said yes imprinted on Will’s side. Luckily for Mike, Will had been possessed during his speech and most likely didn’t remember him saying it. (But the look in his eyes when Mike said it told him otherwise. Oh God, what if he knows that Mike knows what if he hates him oh no oh no no nonononono-)

(Deep breaths, Wheeler)

Mike had never really considered his soulmate. Sure, he occasionally wondered what they would be like and when they would meet, but who didn’t? And yes, he had found himself thinking about his small friend a little bit too much, but that was just because they’ve been friends since they were five, right? Apparently not, he grimaced to himself, how are you going to deal with this one?

But that would have to come later, for now he had to make it through the day.

It wasn’t until he got home that the other realization hit him.

I’m gay.

That one was less surprising. He had never really been interested in girls, and liked El significantly less now that she looked more feminine. He had realized after the Snowball that he felt like El was more of a sister to him, and they had come to a mutual agreement to be friends and nothing more.

He supposed that the gay thing made sense, but he worried about what everyone else would think if and when they found out. Nancy would probably be okay, she had never really agreed with their father on anything, and Mike doubted she would start agreeing when it came to gay people. His dad might be more of a problem, but he didn’t have to know. Not yet, at least. His mom was a wild card. He hoped she wouldn’t be disgusted by him, but there was really no telling. His friends would understand, he hoped. Lucas would. He had once confided in Mike that he had three Marks, so he would definitely not be grossed out by Mike being gay.

But what about Will? His reaction would probably be the most important. He was Mike’s soulmate after all. He wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to be Mike’s friend anymore, especially with having dealt with Lonnie. But, soulmates were supposed to work out, right? Maybe not, he was 90% sure his parents weren’t soulmates anyway, so maybe his Mark was broken. Oh God, what if his was broken?

It couldn’t be. That’s not how things worked. He was just tired and overthinking, a good nap would help. But, he had homework to do first. Ugh, homework.

~~~~~~~

Do you remember the first day that we met?

“Nancy, can I talk to you?”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing, it’s just,” come on, Mike! You can do it! “I like boys and not girls,”

Nancy’s face softened, she pulled the collar of her turtleneck down to reveal two soulmarks, one, a camera, the other, the nailbat.

“Oh.”

It was.. It was the first day of kindergarten. I knew nobody.

“Lucas, we’ll always be friends, right?” They were sat on Lucas’ bed, and Mike was reminded of Lucas’ angry, confused confession just a year prior.

“Yeah, unless you like, murder my soulmates,” Lucas had made a lot of progress, part of which was finding out that Max was one of his soulmates, and that, he didn’t hear it from Lucas but, she also had three soulmarks. Mike was 90% sure it would turn out to be Lucas, Dustin, Max, and El but never mentioned it.

“I’m gay. Will is my soulmate.” Lucas looked shocked for all of three seconds before he smiled at Mike.

“I’m glad you could tell me, dude.” He didn’t ask how Mike knew the Will thing, he just patted him on the back and went back to talking about the last family movie night he had to suffer through.

I had no friends. I just felt so alone and, and so scared

“Guys, I have to tell you something important.”

“What’s up, Mike?” He had four pairs of eyes on him. Two curious, one annoyed, and one knowing.

It was one of the few days Hopper would let all of them visit El in the cabin, but Will had a doctor’s appointment. Mike missed him, the group wasn't the same without Will there to offer his typically cheerful input. Mike also felt like he was third-wheeling the four other kids.

“I’m gay, I like boys.” El’s expression didn’t change, Dustin looked somehow, relieved? Max softened, but tried to keep up the annoyed flair. Lucas wore a proud smile.

“Doesn’t everyone like boys?”

“No, El, usually boys only like girls and girls only like boys.” That made it sound bad, fuck, backtrack backtrack backtrack-

“It’s not a bad thing, you can like whoever you want.” Thank the lord for Lucas Sinclair, saving Mike’s ass since first grade.

“Oh, well, in that case, I like boys and girls,” El looked pleased now, and the other three went red. Definitely soulmates.

But I saw you on the swings, you were alone too. You were just swinging by yourself.

“Steve, I need your advice”

“I swear to all things good and holy Dustin, if this is about any of your little- oh hey, Mike. What’s up?”

“You like boys and girls, right?” Mike barely knew where he wanted this conversation to go. But he knew Steve was definitely the one to go to.

“Yeah, why?”

“How did you tell people that you weren’t sure about their reactions?”

“Hey uh, are you, are you bi?” Mike had never seen Steve this reserved before, it felt like he was trying to approach a scared animal, well, he may as well have been a scared animal at this point.

“No, no, I’m gay, i just, I want to tell my mom and Will but I’m worried about how they’ll react.” Mike had to cut himself off. He could feel himself start rambling and he didn’t want to say too much.

“Oh, ok then, uh,” he paused to think, “I think Will will be fine. As for your mom, probably sit her down and just rip the bandaid.” If he thought Will was going to be fine, he probably would be, Mike trusted Steve, he usually knew what he was doing.

“Thanks, Steve.”

“No problem, big guy,” and Steve wrapped him in a hug.

And I just walked up to you, and, I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend

“Mom, I have to talk to you.” There was a rare moment of peace in the Wheeler house, and he was going to take advantage of it. He sat himself next to her on the couch, avoiding eye contact.

“Mike, sweetie, what’s wrong?” The concern in her voice gave him hope. Things would be okay, she would love him no matter what.

“I know who my soulmate is, and uh, he’s a boy. And I really like him.” Mike had retracted in on himself, but his mom just grabbed his wrists gently, pulling his hands toward her.

“Mike,” he finally made eye contact to see her smiling down at him, eyes brimming with tears, “thank you for telling me, I am so proud of you, and I love you.”

He collapsed into her for a hug and cried. It had gone well.

And you said yes. You said yes.

“I’m gay.” He was finally telling Will, the most important person in his life, after a good three months since his realization.

“Me too.”

And that was that.

And it was the best thing I’ve ever done.

~~~~~~~~

It had been four months since Mike came out to Will (and vice versa), and Mike could barely hold it in anymore. Lucas had been bugging him about telling Will the thing since he had come out. He wanted to do it, but could never find the time without making things awkward.

The six of them were walking up the hill to set up Cerebro, WIll and Mike trailing behind slightly. Dustin was rambling on, holding hands with El (the four of them had come to their realization and had been inseparable ever since). Mike was going to do it now. He had to.

“Hey, uh, Will?”

“Hmm?”

“Can we, uh, talk?” He grabbed his wrist, and turned to face him, they had both stopped walking at this point. Will looked confused, usually Mike was very forward.

“What do you need?” Mike’s brain was firing at a million miles an hour, he had no idea what he was going to do.

“I have something to show you.” He was doing it. It was happening, this was real. He lifted his shirt a bit to reveal the small lettering on his side in the same place as Will’s. Will’s eyebrows shot up into his hair.

“I saw yours back in November when we had to take you to the lab. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before but I didn’t want you to be mad and I didn’t know how to say it and I really really li-”

“Mike. It’s okay. We got there in the end.” Will was smiling wider than he had in over two years now, and Mike felt complete. Will grabbed his hand.

“Y’know, back in the shed in November, I heard you say it. I brushed it of but it took me by surprise, I’ve wondered ever since.”

“So that’s why you looked at me like that.”

#whooooo i did it #yay ok #time to tag this #byler #byeler #carson rambles #if yall enjoy this i can do more #i have more ideas

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homespork-review · 4 years ago

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HOMESPORK ACT 5 ACT 1: Mobius Double Plusungood, Part 3

TW: """funny""" sexual and physical assault of a child by another child, extreme bullying, extreme ableism, a very brief discussion of shipping characters outside their canon sexuality.

CHEL: We get some implications of the part of troll culture we ended on last time when a slightly baffled-looking Nepeta, watching through the viewport, updates her SHIPPING WALL. Instead of hearts, some of the hypothetical pairings she’s painted are marked with diamonds. What this means will be explained shortly.

I can’t help but feel it’s slightly creepy to hypothetically matchmake your own friends, but I’m pretty sure the other trolls know at least that the shipping wall exists if not exactly which ships they’re in, and they do live in a society in which it’s stated later that mating is mandatory, so it would indeed be helpful to have at least emergency-doable matchmaking done well in advance and they might appreciate the help.

I’d like to take a moment to note a ship at the bottom row, left of centre; GA/Tavros. Hussie, on his Formspring, later said that GA was “obviously” a lesbian, or anyway was only interested in women, which doesn’t have a specific term for it in troll culture. It’s actually hard to tell going by what’s shown in canon, because she only displays specific interest in girls except for in a complicated case we’ll discuss later, but trolls are supposed to be bi-normative, plus it’s not like the male selection here is particularly inspiring, so, yeah, the evidence we actually see isn't conclusively "obvious". The fandom, knowing this, systematically harass anyone who even muses vaguely about the possibility of shipping her with a boy, even if they don't know about that Word of God. This is why I’m wondering whether the trolls knew about the shipping wall, because if they did, we can presume GA didn’t care. For the record, I’m sex-repulsed ace and have in fact written about.my own imaginary persona fucking (admittedly fucking an opposite sex clone of herself, it was a complicated injoke) and my reaction to someone else writing it would depend on context and reason, so I can imagine her reacting similarly, but not everyone would. A similar thing with a canonically gay male character explicitly on-screen not caring about hypothetical shipping of himself with girls comes up much later; he’s not a troll, but his upbringing was troll-influenced (long story).

BRIGHT: Harassing people over the ships they make content for always baffles me. It’s not like fanart/fanfic for a ship which contradicts canon has any effect on the canon, and playing around with character dynamics (often in a pornographic manner) is a major part of fanfic.

CHEL: On top of all this, gender and sexuality are really shaky concepts to even try to apply to a species which reproduces hermaphroditically. On this side of the fourth wall it’s obviously because Hussie is a not-very-reflective cisgender heterosexual man, and didn’t think about it any further than “girls wear skirts, right?” Plenty of people fanwank up possibilities for how it could happen on the other side. I think we may have to make a “What The Fuck Is Alternian Biology And Sociology” post or two separate from the sporking at the very end.

Discourse discussion over! Next page, we see some of the relevant terminology used in troll culture, though we still don’t get any explanation of what any of the words actually mean, which is a tad annoying for new readers. The context is a discussion between Karkat and Vriska about getting her into the game.

BRIGHT: Specifically, Karkat wants Vriska to get Tavros into the game, leading to this exchange…

CG: WHY DO YOU EVEN HATE HIM, IT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS. CG: IF ANYTHING YOU SHOULD PITY HIM. CG: ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PARALYZED HIM. AG: I know. I don't really understand it. AG: It's just a really special kind of h8! It never goes away and it doesn't make a lot of sense. CG: THIS IS KIND OF A WEIRD TIME TO BE CONFIDING IN ME ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS OF BLACK ROMANCE BUT OK. AG: Oh god, what? CG: I MEAN IF YOU'RE REALLY IMPLYING TAVROS IS YOUR KISMESIS I THINK YOU'RE BRAYING UP THE WRONG FROND NUB. CG: BOTH PARTIES HAVE TO HATE EACH OTHER EQUALLY, I MEAN LIKE TRUE HATE. CG: MAYBE YOUR FEELINGS COME SOMEWHAT CLOSE TO FITTING THE BILL BUT I DON'T THINK HE CAN HATE ANYONE, IT'S WEIRD, HE'S KIND OF BROKEN IN THE HEAD.

Finally, our long-awaited introduction to troll romance!

And the introduction is an effective one. We now know that there’s something called ‘black romance’, that it concerns hate, and that one’s black-romantic partner is a ‘kismesis’. The conversation also flows naturally and fits the characters having it, rather than being an awkward as-you-know infodump, although brace yourselves, there’s one of those coming up. Thirteen is about right for kids starting to have romantic feelings and being confused about it, not wanting to talk about it is pretty normal, and Karkat lecturing people at a good opportunity is absolutely in character.

Karkat goes on to lecture Vriska about the emotions involved in different sorts of romantic relationships, and wow, it really says a lot about troll culture…

CG: OK, MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T HAD THEIR LOBE STEM CAUTERIZED ARE CAPABLE OF FEELING THE TWO PRIMARY EMOTIONS, HATE AND PITY. CG: PITY IS OF COURSE JUST THE TONED DOWN VERSION OF THE CENTRAL EMOTION, HATE. CG: AND ALL THE NUANCES OF PITY MANIFEST AS VARIOUS OTHER KINDS OF FEELINGS LIKE WHATEVER CHEMICAL REACTIONS TRIGGER MATING FONDNESS OR THE MYSTERIOUS FORCES THAT ARE BEHIND MOIRALLEGIANCE.

CHEL: It’s never really clear if this is just Karkat’s idea of it or if this is how trolls actually work biologically. Trolls do use the word “love” later on, so I always interpreted it as “pity” being a euphemistic term because “love” in such a warlike and oppressive culture could be exploited as a weakness. Fandom has played it with their love actually being based on a weird form of sympathy/seeing the other as needing protection, which is also plausible.

FAILURE ARTIST: I have played with the pity thing before but in retrospect Karkat is the only one who seems to see it that way. Maybe this is all his fake deep teenager view of romance.

BRIGHT: Vriska makes a performance of how bored she is, but Karkat’s on a roll.

CG: A WELL BALANCED PERSON IS IS GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DISTRIBUTION BETWEEN HATE AND THE VARIOUS PITY HUMORS. CG: HAVING A GOOD BALANCE KEEPS ALL THE EMOTIONS SHARPER, SEE I THINK THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. AG: Oh???????? AG: I hope you know I already wore out some good note-taking pens today. All the pens. AG: All of them. CG: SEE, MY HATE IS LIKE A FINELY TUNED INSTRUMENT BECAUSE I'M AWARE OF THESE PRINCIPLES. CG: I COULD HATE A HOLE IN PARADOX SPACE ITSELF, STRAIGHT THROUGH TO A NEW REALITY FRESH FOR THE HATING. AG: Hahahahahahahaha, you don't even know how much I'm laughing at this. CG: BUT SEE, YOU'RE TOO HEAVY ON THE HATE SIDE, OR AT LEAST YOU PRETEND TO BE WHICH IS MAYBE WORSE. AG: You aren't reading anything I say are you? You just want to talk and talk and talk. CG: AND YOU THINK YOU'RE HATING UP EVERYONE HARD WHEN YOU'RE REALLY JUST BURNING OUT THAT ENTIRE EMOTIONAL HEMISPHERE. CG: IT'S LIKE LUKEWARM HATE. PRETENDER'S HATE, WITH NO COUNTERPOINT AT ALL. CG: AS SUCH THERE'S NO REAL SUBSTANCE TO YOUR HATE, IT'S LIKE A CARDBOARD MOVIE PROP. CG: WHICH IS WHY YOUR BRAIN IS BROKEN, KIND OF LIKE TAVROS'S BUT ON THE OPPOSITE HEMISPHERE I GUESS. CG: OR MAYBE YOUR BROKEN BRAIN LED TO THE IMBALANCE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I DON'T KNOW. CG: WHATEVER THE CASE IS, YOU'RE KIND OF EMOTIONALLY SCREWED, SORRY TO SAY. CG: YOUR HATE'S TOO DULL FOR A PROPER KISMESIS, IN MY OPINION. CG: AND I DON'T SEE ANYONE CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL HONESTLY, UNLESS THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO WOULD ACTUALLY BOTHER PITYING YOU. CG: AND LANDING A MATESPRIT? HAHAHAHA! CG: SERIOUSLY, LIKE THAT WOULD EVEN INTEREST YOU. CG: BASICALLY ANY FEATURE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL PROFILE THAT USUALLY MAKES SOMEONE VIABLE IN THE REDROM DEPARTMENT MUST BE TOTALLY FRIED. CG: YOUR BLACKROM POTENTIAL'S PROBABLY TOAST TOO.

Whew.

So now we have ‘kismesis’, ‘moirail’, and ‘matesprit’ as terms for romantic partners, as well as the concepts of black romance, red romance, and ‘moirallegiance’ as the relationship one has with a moirail. Troll romance is not going to get any less confusing for a while.

If Karkat’s grasp of psychology strikes you as amateurish, there’s a reason for that: He gets all his knowledge from romance movies.

AG: Hey asshole, stop watching movies for girls.

I think that’s another strike against the ‘girls are the dangerous ones on Alternia’ argument. Romance movies, per this exchange, are both female-coded and seen as inferior -- Karkat defends his viewing choices by saying they’re INTRIGUING SOCIOLOGICALLY, but Vriska isn’t buying it.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 42 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 33

CHEL: I’m not sure an interest in the workings of romance should be a socially gendered thing in a society where, as it turns out, you have to have an acceptable romantic partner by a certain time or die. You’d think most kids would be trying as hard as they could to learn and put into practice everything they could about it, and you’d also think there’d be better information for them than romcoms.

BRIGHT: Has the mate-or-die part come up yet? I’m not sure when Hussie thought of it.

CHEL: I don’t know if he’d thought of it yet, but it does come up very soon.

BRIGHT: Karkat then moves on to the original reason he contacted Vriska -- he needs her and her mind powers in the game, because he’s just run into a double agent called Jack.

Over on the next panel, Karkat is still talking to Vriska, but he’s glancing back over his shoulder at Jack Noir. His hand is covered in blood, which keeps cycling through a range of colours. The blood, it transpires, is because Jack stabbed him. Karkat is amazingly calm about this.

CG: HE'S COOL, IT'S FINE I DON'T REALLY MIND THE STABBING, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING. CG: WELL OK I'M PRETTY SURE HE MEANT TO STAB ME. CG: BUT I KIND OF THINK THAT'S LIKE CG: THE WAY HE GREETS PEOPLE? AG: This game is so stupid. CG: IN ANY CASE I THINK HE'S PROBABLY ALL STABBED OUT.

This would be ridiculously chill even from someone who isn’t extremely cagey about his blood colour -- and it’s not that Karkat suddenly doesn’t care any more, because as soon as Vriska says she’ll ask Terezi or Jack what colour he’s bleeding, he tells her that he’s out of Terezi’s range, Jack is sworn to secrecy, and Sollux (who’s incommunicado) is the only one who knows how to make Trollian’s viewport feature work. (Given we saw how easy it is to use earlier, I’m surprised Vriska doesn’t try to figure it out herself.)

Over on the next panel, the viewer is now Jack, a few minutes prior to this conversation. Contrary to Karkat’s protestations, Jack stabs him because He's got a pretty sharp tongue and can't seem to keep it sheathed. He is curious when Karkat cares less about the wound and more about Jack seeing his blood colour, which is apparently some freakish mutation. Jack looks at his knife…

CHEL: While it’s not a realistic depiction of the colour, recall that this is the shade of red used in-comic to depict human blood. This reveal probably isn’t a surprise to anyone by now, if you’ve encountered fanart, and honestly it wasn’t a huge mindblowing revelation on my first read before I knew, but I do think it’s a clever little “aha, THAT’S why!” moment. Skilfully done.

It seems he's the only one of his kind with this mutant candy-red blood. An outcast. He thinks he was put on this planet covered in an ocean of his own blood to be taunted. Punished for something. Saddest story you ever heard. Got to do something to shut him up.

BRIGHT: Awww. That’s kind of sweet.

This little interchange gave rise to the ‘Stabdads’ fandom phenomenon, where Spades Slick is envisaged as Karkat’s father-figure. In Homestuck canon, it’s dubious how much affection Slick has for Karkat. He seems more irritated by him than anything else, but that’s about on par for how he treats the rest of the Midnight Crew. On the other hand, it clearly makes a massive impact on Karkat. We’ve seen how important blood colour is on Alternia and how insecure he is about his own; his sudden rush of fellow-feeling towards Jack is understandable, even if it does make him way too forgiving about having been stabbed.

CHEL: Karkat and Jack shake hands, and proceed to be in cahoots. Cahoooooooots. Doodling on the defaced parking ticket from earlier, they draft OPERATION REGISURP.

Your whole team executes the plan along the course of its journey, employing espionage, mind control tactics, political sabotage, vicious interrogations and cold blooded assassinations. Everyone does their part and you begin to learn the true meaning of teamwork, as well as this troll disease called friendship.

Yeah, it actually happening is skipped over with one paragraph, but that’s probably a good thing with all the complexity already going on, and we do hear more details about it. First, we’re reminded of the existence and functions of the Queens’ Rings, the magic rings the queens of Derse and Prospit have which give them traits and powers from whatever the players put in their sprites. The trolls have put their lusii in their sprites, except for Aradia, whose lusus died long ago, so she got in the sprite herself. The Queen could put up with getting bits and pieces from eleven hideous monsters (well, ten hideous monsters and one adowable little fairybull thing oh my gosh it’s cuuuute) tacked onto her, but what she absolutely won’t stand for is the other thing Aradia put in her sprite…

She could not stand bearing the visage of the most loathsome creature known to existence. So vile is its appearance, so contemptible its purpose, all depictions of the creature let alone members of its population are permanently banned from any jurisdiction in the reach of her agents. Those of its kind go by many names, and so does the reviled patron god they herald - THE GREAT DETESTATION, KING PONDSQUATTER, SPEAKER OF THE VAST JOKE, or most commonly, BILIOUS SLICK.

Recall that AR thought of the hieroglyphs in the Frog Temple as “illegal pictography”. We’ll find out later why the Black Queen has such a revulsion for frogs, it’s important. But the important part right now is that she took the ring off. At the time of planning it’s in the ROYAL VAULT.

We briefly see a moment in the future of the Black Queen wrapped in rags, just like the human sessions’ White Queen, wandering the desert as the BANISHED QUASIROYAL, and the caption notes the plan was a success.

However, Doc Scratch appears in the desert in front of her, and it’s noted she was given a new purpose. This, it seems, is the origin of Snowman.

FAILURE ARTIST: I would like if there was some canon Homestuck material expanding on this REGISURP plot.

BRIGHT: Same! It sounds really interesting. One example of Homestuck’s idiosyncratic pacing, I suppose -- we spend pages and pages on trivial alchimeter nonsense, but skip over something more meaty.

CHEL: The Red Team work on that, while the Blue Team battle their own session… or so they think. Yeah, I’m sure you’ve all already figured it out, but the trolls hadn’t just yet. They note that their prototypes are affecting the opposite team’s underlings, and the readers are shown Alternia’s two Frog Temples, one near Aradia’s home and the other near Kanaya’s, each with six pillars outside (one seems to have five, but the sixth is hidden behind the building). Superimposed on each other, the pillars make a full ring of twelve.

The truth was it had always been the same session all along. That your teams were not competing, but cooperating toward a common goal. In the more drawn out form of this adventure's narrative, figuring this out would have been a huge deal. We would have been completely blown away by this stunning revelation. Wow. Same session all along. Really? Huh.

This is what Aradia’s been so mysterious about. She knew. We’re provided with a handy diagram, in case we haven’t been able to keep up.

After watching the phrases MOBIUS DOUBLE and REACH AROUND toggle for a few minutes while in a sort of stupor, you finally snap out of it.

(I just noticed, the Blue Team are the Derse dreamers and the Red Team are the Prospit dreamers. Neat!)

The reader’s attention is drawn instead to the Aquarius and Pisces symbols in the top left, belonging to characters we haven’t met yet, and the narration promises we’ll learn about them soon. Drawing attention again to GA’s Virgo symbol, the narration muses about her.

It will probably be quite some time before you get to be her. It could very well be pages and pages and pages.

Naturally, we jump right back to her.

GA’s intro is long, so we’ll take it piece by piece.

Your name is KANAYA MARYAM.

The Sanskrit name for Virgo is “Kanya”, and it’s also the name of a town in Japan. “Maryam” is the Arabic version of “Mary”, as in Jesus’ mother. It may also be a reference to Marya Zaleska, the title character of the movie “Dracula’s Daughter”.

You are one of the few of your kind who can withstand the BLISTERING ALTERNIAN SUN, and perhaps the only who enjoys the feel of its rays. As such, you are one of the few of your kind who has taken a shining to LANDSCAPING. You have cultivated a lush oasis around your hive, and in particular, you have honed your craft through the art of TOPIARY, sculpting your trees to match the PUFFY ORACLES from your dreams. You have embraced the tool of this trade, which conveniently is the weapon of choice for those who would hunt the HEINOUS BROODS OF THE UNDEAD which crawl from the sand at sunrise to feast on the light and the living.

Couple things established here; trolls are not only nocturnal but actively harmed by their planet’s sun, and undead beings other than ghosts exist. Said traditional weapon for hunting them is a chainsaw, which we can see lying against her bookshelf, a reference to the Evil Dead movies.

It would be convenient if you actually hunted them, but it is of course far too dangerous, every bit as suicidal as attempting to poach the terrible MUSCLEBEASTS who roam at night. So you indulge in your bright fascination with the grim through literature. Just before the sun goes down and you join your flora in rest, you immerse yourself in tales of RAINBOW DRINKERS and SHADOW DROPPERS and FORBIDDEN PASSION.

Rainbow drinkers are, as discussed later on, troll vampires. I don’t think shadow droppers are ever expanded on, but they might be zombies or werebeasts. Troll goths, apparently, are the reverse of human goths, dressing in bright colours and staying up in the daytime, which makes sense for a species who can only safely go out at night.

You are one of the few of your kind with JADE GREEN BLOOD. As such you are one of the few who could be selected and raised by a VIRGIN MOTHER GRUB, an event so rare as to elude documented precedent. She would defend you from desert threats, and though her life would be short, in time you would assure her of progeny.

Recall that the Mother Grub is required for troll reproduction.

You are a SEAMSTRESS or a RAGRIPPER or a TREETRIMMER or a LUMBERJACK, whichever you care to be, and your unique hive is equipped with a great supply of advanced technology to accommodate your interests. The technology and indeed the hive itself were all recovered from the ruins nearby when you were very young. The seed of your hive was deployed on the volcanic rocks beneath the sand with the assistance of your lusus and her remarkable burrowing skills, and you have lived there happily together since. You know the ruins and the hive and everything here that is not sand and rock originated from the world of your dreams. You also know that one day you will visit this world while you are awake. That day is today.

Like Jade, Kanaya has been awake on Prospit for years, and the technology in question is Skaian in origin, so that’s how she knows what’s going on with the game.

Kanaya is prompted to equip her chainsaw, which promptly turns into a lipstick in a Problem Sleuth reference. Like Jade, she has a Wardrobifier, set to randomise, which suddenly turns her black shirt and red skirt into a red leaf-print dress. She takes out the lipstick.

You can choose between your trademark jade or black. Even though a troll's lips are naturally black. But they can always be blacker, and a lady with a true sense of style knows this.

She goes with green, her dress turns into a blue kimono, and she’s messaged by someone with a fuschia Pisces symbol. This person, named cuttlefishCuller, turns out to be rather excitable, greeting her in all caps and following it up with Glub glub glub glub glub!

BRIGHT: This conversation is pretty sweet, with some friendly joking about CC’s quirk (they stick hyphens in front of their capital Es) and mention of their Collapsing And Expanding Bladder Based Aquatic Vascular System. There’s another mention of moirails, with CC saying they’ll have to join the game late to keep an eye on theirs.

It also turns out both CC and Kanaya are having some premonitions of what’s to come! Kanaya is seeing visions in the clouds of Skaia, the same way Jade does, but CC hears whispers from a mysterious ‘she’ who needs her voice keeping down. It’s implied to be CC’s lusus, as both Kanaya and CC are aware their lusii are going to die soon.

Kanaya hopes to be with her lusus as she dies, but looks out of the window to find the Virgin Mother Grub has already passed away, apparently of natural causes.

CHEL: The Mother Grub was seen briefly before; it’s a moth-like creature with a huge fat body the size of a bus, with wings too small to ever lift it, horns the same shape as Kanaya’s, and a skull-like head with big lips. The skull on Terezi’s Doomsday Scale was, we can tell now, a Mother Grub, except quite a lot bigger - presumably a breeding Grub.

BRIGHT: Kanaya changes back into her original outfit, and goes down to live up to her end of the bargain… which entails slicing a hole in her lusus with her chainsaw and pulling out a round object covered in spikes the colour of trolls’ horns, called a Matriorb. Kanaya stores it in her sylladex; she’s using a CHASTITY MODUS, which locks each card away, and the key will serendipitously be discovered when it’s time for the card to be unlocked. These modii are getting more and more esoteric.

Kanaya proceeds to have a conversation with her own moirail, Vriska, which we already read earlier.

You then proceed to have the rest of this conversation we already read, bugging and fussing and meddling through the special and magical union one can only describe as being in moirallegiance with another. At least, you guess that's how you would describe it. Maybe. Troll romance sure is confusing!

Yes, yes it is. (Spoiler: It’s not that confusing once it’s explained.)

Kanaya doesn’t have long to dwell on the conversation, as she’s contacted by caligulasAquarium, someone with a violet Aquarius symbol who she doesn’t seem to think highly of. It rapidly becomes apparent why.

CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin GA: Who CA: your no good connivvin fuckin backstabbin girl crush thats wwho

CHEL: Trolls are supposed to come bi/pan as standard, so why does he need to specify “girl crush”? I wonder if Hussie hadn’t decided that yet when he wrote this part, but I’m not sure.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 34

CA’s gender hasn’t been revealed, but let’s not kid ourselves, we know from how he’s talking that he’s a dude. Nice Girls certainly exist but they don’t tend to get portrayed as so whiny in fiction, plus CC comes off as very girly, and that leaves us with six boy and six girl trolls. Balance and opposites and counterparts are a running theme throughout Homestuck. Not that there can’t be nonbinary characters, as some show up in Hiveswap; just that there would most likely have to be an even number of them, split evenly between the groups of players. Fine by me as a nonbinary person with a thing for balance and even numbers of my own.

Also, note that we’ve seen this guy, or at least his hand and foot, before. This is the litter-hater in the bowling shoes.

GA: Overstating Our Relationship Wont Make Me Feel Very Cooperative GA: Its Paler Red Than That Ok CA: pshhhhhh that is a fuckin laugh and you knoww it evveryone does CA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to GA: Why Do I Got To GA: I Dont Got To And Every Time You Take My Help For Granted I Feel Like I Got To A Little Less CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing CA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs

BRIGHT: Oh hey, another troll romance term! ‘Auspisticing’ is the last of the lot, don’t worry.

CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith her CA: i figure if youre going to auspisticize any twwo brinesuckers wwho sneer at each other a funny wway you might as wwell make it official and be ours right GA: Your Black Solicitation Just Seems Really Indecent

Funny words aside, Hussie does a good job at laying down context for what auspisticism is here; we now know that it involves mediating between two parties who dislike each other and that it’s a form of black romance. Meshing worldbuilding naturally into the dialogue is something Homestuck does really well at times.

Anyway, CA is trying to get in contact with Vriska because he asked her to make something for him and now she’s blowing him off.

GA: What Is It CA: kan stupid wwhat do you think its a fuckin gizmo to bloww up the wworld or somethin CA: ok wwell not that obvviously CA: but somethin thatll kill all land dwwellers wwhat else wwould i be after GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With That CA: wwell CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

While CA is obviously a douche, there’s something funny about how over-the-top he is about it and how utterly oblivious he is to the idea that Kanaya might have a problem with a device that would kill all landdwellers, although the humour is inversely proportionate to how likely he is to pull it off.

CHEL: Maybe I’m strange, but I think he’s adorable. I get the impression of a small kid trying to puff himself up to adult size.

BRIGHT: There’s also more romance talk, and this next bit is one I find interesting:

CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once CA: you should read up on your history instead of poring through that godawwfull sunny rubbish

I’m going to take a step back from Homestuck itself for a moment and talk about kismessitude as it’s portrayed in fandom. People tend to envision it in a variety of ways -- some see it as a BDSM relationship, some as a way of pushing a rival to be better, some as just straight-up hate-sex -- but most depictions show it as something that only affects the two people involved.

Here, though? CA’s talking about kismessitude as something that’s potentially really damn dangerous, to other people besides those involved, and cites history as a backup -- implying it can really be that dangerous, and it’s not just a teenager’s flight of fancy. (Although, that said, CA is clearly using this to try and get Kanaya in a relationship with him, so how sincere he is is questionable.)

CHEL: Later on we do see a little bit of one of the historical cases he might have been citing. We’ll discuss it more then. Also, I do like him saying “sunny” instead of “gloomy”. Makes sense!

Kanaya tells CA none of this matters, and he sneers about the “purity of the bloodline”. That’s an… uncomfortable turn of phrase, especially since he’s speaking to someone not covered by the “purity” standard, but since it applies to aliens and it’s in a society where that’s hammered into its inhabitants it’s not a Problematykks issue. Kanaya tells him it still won’t matter because their race will be wiped out entirely, and his reaction is remarkably understated:

CA: huh CA: wwell ok HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 11

CA says he knows Kanaya doesn’t lie except to herself, surprisingly perceptive for one so puffed-up otherwise. CA might be smarter than he’s letting on? He asks if her clouds told her that; that was the reader’s assumption too, but she says no, she has a different source. Uh-oh. We know what the last source of information was, and it cost Vriska an arm and an eye-sevenfold. CA’s own clouds “hide nothin but misfortune and monstrosities”, so we can guess she’s Prospit and he’s Derse. He goes back to nagging her to tell Vriska to talk to him, and when she continues to refuse he poutily steps off.

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that

Kanaya denies this, and CA says everyone knows, including Karkat.

GA: Its Unbelievable GA: Her Patience CA: wwhat CA: wwhoa wwait wwho GA: Never Mind CA: ok wwait did she talk to you today CA: wwhat did she say CA: or glub or wwhatevver

They’re talking about CC, if it wasn’t clear. Kanaya, in a callback to John’s comment to Terezi, facetiously tells him that she talked about Longing To Touch You Indiscretely and That Shes Basically In The Scarlet Throes For You. CA, flustered, picks up that she’s teasing him, and she tells him the truth, that CC’s just concerned as a moirail.

CA: if youre not savvvvy about howw you define yourself to people CA: you can just splash into the moirail zone before you knoww wwhich wways upwward

I’m going to comment on this attitude in a bit more detail when we get a clearer explanation of what moirallegiance actually is. CA leaves her with some arc words.

CA: being a kid and growwing up CA: its hard and nobody understands

Kanaya heads back to her room, planning to emphatically not meddle but help her friends, and consults her source; it’s fortunately not a Doc Scratch-related one at all. It is, in fact, Rose’s long-forgotten GameFAQ, saved on a server floating in the Furthest Ring, to which Prospit’s clouds directed her. I have to show you the panel for a moment though…

I’m sure there was a way we could see the screen without having it facing away from Kanaya who’s supposed to be reading it.

You can only assume this took place a long time ago. This race is likely ancient, preceding yours by millions of sweeps. Maybe billions! You like to try to imagine the adventures of these players. Were they successful in repopulating their race? Did they manage to protect their matriorb and hatch a new mother grub? Could they hold it together, or were they torn apart by the complex social dynamics, the matespritships and moirallegiences and auspisticisms and kismesissitudes that will surely plague your group along the way? You have little doubt they succeeded with flying colors.

Oh dear, dramatic irony. Kanaya fantasises about a troll version of Rose, thinking she must have been the leader of this supposedly long-ago group.

And yet they appear to have been the only of their kind to have risen to the challenge in a session stacked heavily against them.

Huh. So is this just because Kanaya can’t find more information, or are the four kids in fact the only humans who successfully got into the game? Picking four specifically white-coded kids to be the last of the human race due to supposedly their own competence is… not a good choice. And why the hell couldn’t other people succeed? This strikes me as more of the whole theme of “nobody matters except the people we’re focusing on”. A good lampshading of video game tropes, but in a literary story, that’s the opposite message to everything I’ve ever read, and it’s a creepy one.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 43 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 12 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 35

BRIGHT: I thiiiiiiiink it’s at least implied later on that there are other sessions going, it’s just that each session is a closed loop of players so we don’t see the others...although if that’s the case, does that mean Earth’s getting hit with meteors from multiple Skaias?

CHEL: That over with for the moment, we cut to Tavros’ house as you take your place as the PAGE OF BREATH in the LAND OF SAND AND ZEPHYR. Vriska, his server player, gets down to the business of building up his house towards the Gate…

… entirely out of staircases.

AT: i THINK THIS, iS, AT: pROBABLY MEANT TO ANTAGONIZE ME,

Okay, this probably makes me a bad person, but I’m crying with laughter at his expression and that line.

It’s more disability slapstick, but here the point of the joke comes off as being more that Vriska is a jerk and Tavros’ reaction is really understated than any reasonable person being supposed to assume Tavros is wrong for not being able to climb stairs. Emphasis on “comes off as”, unfortunately. I’m still gonna give a Problematykks point, and further experience with Hussie’s attitude to disability has soured the joke somewhat, even in just the next couple of pages.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 44

BRIGHT: Vriska tries to get Tavros to crawl up the stairs, first by telling him that he promised not to be boring anymore and then by saying that she’s trying to help him get stronger. She caps off the rant by demanding that he apologise.

AT: oKAY, AT: tHANKS, i GUESS, AT: bUT, AT: sORRY FOR WHAT, AG: For 8eing crippled, you ass! AT: yOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE, AT: fOR BEING PARALYZED, AG: Yes. AG: Say you're sorry. AT: i DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, oR bORING, AT: bUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS, gIVEN, AT: uH, tHE CIRCUMSTANCES, AG: 8ullshit! AG: It's something called 8asic decency and civility you fudge8looded 8oor. AG: Now get down on your useless wo88ly knees and apologize. AT: nO, i DON'T WANT TO, AG: >::::O

Vriska, what the fuck.

Tavros is really great here. He’s obviously not comfortable fighting with Vriska, and repeatedly tries to redirect her into building him ramps instead of engaging. But, at the same time, he holds his ground and doesn’t let her push him around, and won’t let go of solid hard reality in the face of Vriska trying to emotionally manipulate him.

FAILURE ARTIST: And yet people still call him a wimp.

BRIGHT: Vriska retaliates, because of course she does, by grabbing his wheelchair with her cursor and shaking it about. If Hussie left it at that, everything would be unobjectionable, at least in terms of narrative voice. Instead, well…

Now she's done it. She has awoken the mighty inner fury that is... RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

CHEL: It just occurred to me to mention that the name Rufio comes from a character in the movie Hook, the leader of the Lost Boys after Peter Pan left, played by Dante Basco. Tavros’ mental image of him is a reference to that character.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dante Basco did read Homestuck, with hilarious results as we will see.

But unfortunately, Rufio is not real. He's imaginary. A fake. Like a made up friend, the way fairies are. You continue to be sad and alone.

BRIGHT: Eurgh.

Let me be clear: Tavros having no further recourse to deal with Vriska’s abuse beyond his visualised self-esteem is a problem for the character, but it’s not necessarily a narrative problem per se. Escapism is a thing. You could get a decent character arc out of Tavros learning better ways to deal with harassment he can’t escape. It is a narrative problem when the narrator mocks it and makes him out to be pathetic for even trying it.

CHEL: I’d consider this to be just Tavros’ own thought process, but, sadly, this kind of narrative sneering at him carries on throughout Tavros’ presence in the comic and the fandom seems to buy into it. Tavros gets a lot of hate for reasons which mostly boil down to him being a male abuse victim; there’s a feeling that he should “try harder” to fight back, despite him being physically disabled and a member of a caste out of sight beneath her on the social ladder and legally permitted to be killed by her on a whim. Might that count as a point for WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM, for Huss and the fandom not taking the social dynamics into account for why Tavros can’t defend himself?

BRIGHT: I don’t know if it’s fair to count against the fandom when we’re reviewing Homestuck proper, but we can definitely count against Hussie!

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 36

CHEL: It’s also notable that the common fandom interpretation of Tavros is as Hispanic-coded, at least partly due to his Spanish username, and of Vriska as white-coded. That’s probably not helping.

Since Hussie appears to expect us to agree with Vriska that this is funny, I’m adding another to these as well.

ALL THE LUCK: 2 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 45 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 3

BRIGHT: What’s weird about this whole mess is that Hussie doesn’t — yet — try to say that Tavros should be trying to get stronger; his disability is fully acknowledged. I feel like this kind of mockery is usually accompanied by the attitude that disabled people should just get over their disability, but Hussie’s clear that Tavros can’t. Which means he should do...what, exactly?

CHEL: Not have let Vriska disable him in the first place, presumably. Never mind that, you know, she has mind control powers so he didn’t really have a choice in that either. That is, however, an argument Vriska fans actually make. Apparently some of them actually blame him for not flying when she threw him off the cliff, which… well, unpowered flight is a thing that can happen in the comic but he certainly couldn’t do it then.

BRIGHT: ...Apparently I retain the capacity for surprise at how awful people can be. The fuck?

Back in the comic, Tavros fortunately does have one other means of recourse. Back in her hive, Vriska is suddenly prodded in the back with a flying toilet, courtesy of Kanaya.

GA: Just Presenting A Floating Reminder That Tavros Will Need Plenty Of Inclined Surfaces For His Ascent AG: That's silly. I made so many ramps, you wouldn't even 8elieve it. AG: I specifically decided I wanted to 8uild something ugly and 8oring. It is now the land of ramps and yawns. GA: Hes Reported Otherwise AG: That lousy snitch! May8e I should take his computer away so he can't go crying to fussyfangs anymore. GA: Maybe I Should Upend This Load Gaper Over Your Head AG: No, don't! GA: Im Still Learning The Interface GA: It Could Happen Accidentally At Any Moment AG: I'm only trying to help him. ::::( GA: Think Of Another Way To Help

CHEL: Did I mention Kanaya is my zodiac troll? I can only long to reach her heights of awesome. Of course the ability to levitate toilets would kinda help.

BRIGHT: Vriska heads down to her treasure vault and retrieves a pair of ROCKET SHOES. The captchalogue code for these is ‘PSHOOOES’, which amuses me greatly. Vriska sends the code to Tavros, who combines it with the code for his wheelchair to create a flying wheelchair. Now that is a good use of alchemising!

CHEL: Awww!

Tavros flies up to the Gate, and we cut back to him later on, leading an entourage of communed-with imps and ogres to move obstacles and help him solve puzzles. Using his skills well, I see! In another set of ruins the imps load jigsaw pieces of rock into a frog-shaped alcove,

Things, however, don’t continue to go so well, because Hussie hates this poor kid. I do not mean that facetiously. Statements he’s made elsewhere imply he has a hell of a lot of contempt for several of the characters he created, which I don’t understand at all. We’ll go into this after Act 7, but I get the sensation that the characters are merely tools to show off the complexity and meta references, which are the parts he really cares about.

BRIGHT: It’s not unknown for authors to dislike characters they wrote; the great Terry Pratchett reputedly hated his character Rincewind. The key difference is that in Pratchett’s case, the audience couldn’t tell. Hussie, on the other hand, tends to make his disdain pretty obvious, to the detriment of the story.

CHEL: That’s a point. Conan Doyle grew to hate Sherlock Holmes, too. He didn’t, however, set up situations solely to shit on Holmes in his books.

BRIGHT: I think that’s the key. I’ll forgive a multitude of failings as long as the author seems to be treating the characters fairly. That doesn’t mean that good things have to happen to them — plenty of bad things can happen and I’ll enjoy it — it just means that the author has to...respect how the character feels and would behave, I guess.

Of course, respect is Hussie’s antithesis, so.

Also, nothing so far has shown Vriska to be anything other than a (granted, entertaining) bully. I wasn’t around while Homestuck was updating, so I’m not sure when her fandom took off, but it has to be later than this, surely?

CHEL: I don’t know. I wasn’t around till about mid-Act 6.

What was I on about? Oh yes. Tavros is interrupted by Vriska again, who bitches him out for doing things the boring way and seeking the boring lore.

AG: The minds of your consorts are very soft and impressiona8le. AG: As easily manipul8ed as all those imps you've 8een 8ossing around. AG: I have picked apart their tiny little lizard 8rains and seen through all the smoke and mirrors of their riddles. AG: I have gotten to the truth they are guarding. The great 8ig mystery 8ehind this planet. And you know what it is, Tavros? AT: nO, AG: It's 8ullshit! AG: Meaningless, 8oring, fanciful 8ullshit wrapped in flowery poems to keep you guessing. AG: It all leads to one thing anyway, and that's what we should put our attention on. AG: Real gamers cut to the chase. They power through all the nonsense and go for the gold. AG: They cheat, Tavros. AG: It is time you learned to start cheating.

Interesting theory. Tavros thinks befriending his monsters instead of killing them is cheating, and Vriska grudgingly agrees but is annoyed he isn’t killing anything. She claims to have designed a better and more challenging quest for him; he asks after her own quest, and she says she has time because Kanaya’s busy.

AG: Which is just as well 8ecause I was starting to get nannied HARD. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 37

Strange word choice for a species raised by animals, but okay. Vriska sends Tavros a map to the next Gate, and he sets off in his little rocket chair. Little does he know.

You proceed through what seems to be your second gate, into the LAND OF MAPS AND TREASURE. The THIEF OF LIGHT lies in wait.

In a callback to our last meeting of Breath and Light players, Tavros crashes through Vriska’s wall and is left hanging upside-down in the rocket chair from the large cobwebs across the room, while Vriska sleeps on a pile of broken eight-balls. Doesn’t look comfortable, but trolls rest in worse places later. Vriska wakes, and Tavros falls head-first onto the floor.

Here is where it gets incredibly uncomfortable, and we have to show it in detail to assign points properly and so that there’s no ambiguity about what’s happening, so if you have any sexual assault, ableism, underage, mind control, or victim-blaming triggers you may want to skip this part. No clothing is removed but it’s very unpleasant to read and the attitude toward it is worse. Seriously, this is Taklamakan Zoo levels of bad.

(This heading below’s not part of the comic, I just put it there so you can skip. The sequence ends with the piece of fanart of Kanaya looking at the sideways screen.)

~*THE ASSAULT STARTS HERE*~

Vriska sits up. She’s wearing a very short strappy white Tinkerbell dress with her sign on it, and what look like over-the-knee socks, a commonly fetishised style of clothing. I remind you these characters are supposed to be thirteen years old. The dress is also the same as the one worn by the fairy in the artwork on Tavros’ desktop background. I don’t know if Vriska had seen that or not.

FAILURE ARTIST:

To be fair she’s just in an actually-more-modest version of what Peter Pan’s sidekick/love interest wears and the socks come off as more dorky than sexy.

Oh my! It appears Pupa Pan himself has flown through your window while you were asleep. How exciting! Surely he is here to take you away on the adventure of a lifetime. He is more dreamy and heroic than you ever imagined. But what's this?? It seems the legendary Boy-Skylark has misplaced his shadow. He is looking EVERYWHERE for it, to no avail. He is having a devil of a time, what with being paralyzed from the waist down and all. He clearly needs your help.

CHEL: Vriska is prompted to Help Pupa find shadow, and approaches Tavros with a nasty-looking grin on her face, while he lies on the floor, gritting his teeth in noticeable pain.

Pupa! You truly are a silly goose. Your shadow has been trapped underneath your useless torso the whole time! Honestly, where else would it be you stupid sack of shit?

Charming. Vriska proceeds to kick him in the head, or at least nudge him with her foot, while he lies unresponsive.

Of course, the secret to reuniting with your shadow is to get up and walk around. And play and dance and frolic! Your shadow will surely join in your gaiety. But it appears Pupa has lost the use of his legs. There will be no frolicking in this young man's future. ::::( Unless...

Everyone knows that just a pinch of SPECIAL STARDUST along with a happy thought will allow any boy to get up and walk again. Everyone knows this because it is in the classic tale, PUPA PAN. Young Pupa flies through the window of a fairy girl's respiteblock, falls on the floor, and has trouble getting up like an enormous pansy. The fairy girl then helps him walk again, and in return, he teaches her to fly, even though she probably already knows how to fly. Because she's a fairy. They fly out of her window together, and have magical adventures for many sweeps thereafter. To be honest, you hardly know a damn thing about Pupa Pan. But you do not care.

Pupa remains as pathetic and useless as ever.

FAILURE ARTIST: The story just keeps mocking Tavros for being disabled.

CHEL: Not to mention for being interested in fairies. Because how dare a boy have a gender-nonstandard interest, or a young teenager enjoy whimsical escapism from an increasingly horrible and guaranteed-to-be-short life.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 39

I might be projecting because the fandom has made me loathe her, but it honestly comes off like Vriska dressed up like this in the first place less to seduce Tavros and more to make sure she thoroughly ruined his favourite thing to hurt him further, especially if the narration is supposed to be things she’s actually saying to him.

The stardust did nothing! Probably because it is just glittery powder with no magical properties whatsoever and is basically bullshit. Because in case it wasn't clear, magic isn't real, and neither are miracles. OR It could just be that Pupa has failed to have a happy thought! Your duty is clear. You will have to MAKE him have happy thoughts. Vriska: Make Pupa have happy thoughts.

He certainly doesn’t seem to be having happy thoughts now. Notice his expression, what we can see of it, looks terrified, he’s trembling, and let’s recall that he’s paralysed from the waist down. Even if he wasn’t, she’s of a far, far higher caste than him, legally permitted to do whatever she wants to him, including killing him if he tries to resist. It’s kind of gone back and forth on, but higher bloods are a few times stated to be a lot stronger than lower bloods, and if they work like humans, they’re in puberty right now, a time at which human girls tend to get taller and stronger sooner than boys. Again, it’s gone back and forth on, but a common interpretation is that female trolls are stronger than male trolls in general and/or have the social power advantage. Let’s also remember that, even if none of those factors apply, Vriska has mind control powers. There is no point here at which Tavros has the advantage, nothing he can use as leverage on her. She can do whatever the hell she wants, and she does.

BRIGHT: We’ve also been explicitly shown that Vriska has little to no respect for anyone else’s autonomy if she finds it inconvenient, and that Tavros is her favourite punching bag, and that his ability to stand up for himself when she gets going is extremely limited.

CHEL: Despite the odds stacked against him, Tavros struggles against the kiss forced on him, and when Vriska pushes him back, doesn’t respond with anything but a look of horror, though she appears to expect him to, as a flickering heart-spade with a question mark over it appears between them. I’m not sure whether that’s supposed to be the thought process of him or her or both.

Vriska hurls him onto the floor with some force...

… and activates her mind control, causing little hearts to light up in Tavros’ eyes.

BRIGHT: Vriska has used her mind-control powers on Tavros before, and when it happened she walked him off a cliff. There is basically no way that her doing it again isn’t going to be a traumatic experience for him, above and beyond the inherent horror of losing control over one’s body.

I’m inclined to think that forcibly altering his emotions is worse, though. Being paralysed was bad enough, but Tavros knows what happened and he knows how he feels about it. Making him fall in love with her is just…on one level, it’s a horrible assault on his autonomy as a person, and on another level, it’s tailor-made to make him doubt himself and believe the encounter was something he wanted.

FAILURE ARTIST: I hadn’t thought that he might now consider the encounter as consensual, which would explain his later reaction.

CHEL: Tavros paws at her legs, making kissy faces, and she looks vaguely concerned. Note the background still depicts wavy blue rays coming off her, showing her power is still active.

Looking defeated, she drops the control and dumps him on the floor again.

I’m not sure what she’s supposed to be thinking in this last panel. Is she feeling guilty? Is she disappointed that he didn’t like her under his own power? Has she just decided he’s too useless to be worth the effort? Any could be true.

BRIGHT: I read that as disappointment that even when he ‘liked’ her, he didn’t act the way she wanted. (And the way Tavros acted is kind of disturbing. ‘Mindlessly pawing at someone’ is not what I’d expect from him if he was legitimately attracted to someone.)

FAILURE ARTIST: The common interpretation these days was she was realizing she wasn’t into boys which okay that’s good for her but she should feel more bad about molesting him.

CHEL: That also makes no sense, because she shows interest in multiple boys later.

I’m also not entirely sure if Vriska had the intention of actually raping Tavros here (in the standard way, I mean, as one could argue that mind control is a form of rape), or just making out with him. The fact that she dressed up in vaguely fetishy clothing isn’t making it look good, though. Yes, she’s very young, but traumatised kids in particular have been known to lash out sexually like that. It’s a way of reasserting personal power, and I imagine it would be more prevalent in a society with no sapient adult supervision. While there are mitigating circumstances involved in their social situation and Vriska not really having ever had a chance to learn better, that doesn’t make this not a horrible thing to do, or not traumatising for Tavros.

BRIGHT: The clothing could potentially be down to Vriska wanting to look ‘adult’ without fully understanding why it looks adult. That does come up sometimes with teens — they want to experiment with clothing because that’s how adults dress, not because they want to look sexy, or they might dress a certain way for dates because that’s the social model they have for How Dates Work.

And if I read it like that, this basically looks like Vriska having the date equivalent of a dolls’ tea party. Which says volumes about how she views Tavros’s autonomy.

CHEL: Good point. Though honestly it would say volumes about same either way!

BRIGHT: I said earlier that Vriska is better than Equius at recognising when other people’s desires conflict with hers, and she is, but that doesn’t mean she respects those differences. She just recognises that they’re there, and overrides them. This is a prime example of Vriska viewing Tavros as something between a chew-toy and a prop. First she kicks him around and terrifies him, then she expects him to be able to get over those emotions at the drop of a hat and respond to her advances — and, moreover, she wants him to respond in a certain way, which Tavros has zero way of knowing. This is the first time she’s shown that sort of interest in him, unless her earlier behaviour was the Alternian equivalent of pigtail-pulling.

...I think maybe that was in fact Alternian pigtail-pulling. Or at least Vriska’s version of pigtail-pulling.

CHEL: That’ll actually make more sense, once we explain what the spade symbol means.

Okay, how many counts does this cover?

ALL THE LUCK: 12 ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 31 CALL CPA PLEASE: 26 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 55 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 13

It also occurred to me during this sequence to think again about how Karkat contemptuously swears at and hangs up the phone on the injured Tavros. This, at first glance, seems to be very much at odds with the “cranky but caring” impression we’re supposed to have of Karkat… but it fits precisely with Hussie’s opinion of Tavros and how pathetic he is for allowing a much more powerful person to permanently disable him. I know at the moment it looks like I’m not separating the character from the author, but it’ll become clear as we go that that is what he thinks.

IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 14

Why didn’t we start a FUCK YOU, HUSSIE count?

BRIGHT: It would have ended up longer than all the other counts combined.

CHEL: The actual assault is over now, but there’s one more picture of it. The ramifications must continue to be discussed, so tread cautiously. The actual act is over now, though.

Said ramifications come pretty quickly. Kanaya, having dealt with getting herself into the game and prototyped her own lususprite, decides to check on Vriska.

Ideally she has not gotten herself into too much trouble. And ideally the dramatic irony has not gotten so thick you could draw a dotted line on it with a tube of lipstick and cut it in half with a chainsaw.

Of course, she sees the exact moment Vriska kisses Tavros.

(Fanart source has now been deleted, sadly.)

~*THE ASSAULT ENDS HERE*~

Humorous art aside over, let’s watch Kanaya’s reaction in more detail. She angrily looks at a copy of the Tinkerbell dress, which she presumably sent the alchemiter code for rather than the actual item to Vriska, hence why she still has it.

So THAT'S why she had you make this dress for her??? And you just went along with it like a sucker. Argh, you are such an IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like Karkat, Kanaya is presented as the caring one, the protective one. The “mom friend” of the group. And yet, she looks at this, in which Tavros is clearly frightened and struggling, and her reaction is to be mad that Vriska didn’t want to wear the dress for a date with her. I’m not sure whether this says more about Hussie’s opinion of Tavros or the social system of Alternia or both, but it certainly says a lot.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 56 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 13 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 15

BRIGHT: Kanaya has had to corral Vriska on Tavros’s behalf already! Possibly more than once! She has all the information to realise that this is abusive, even leaving aside Tavros’s reaction! Sure, teens can be self-centred, but even so this is egregious.

CHEL: Kanaya’s Grubsprite comforts her and she throws the dress out the window.

Being a kid and growing up. It's hard and nobody understands.

Yes, I’m sure Tavros thinks so too.

Charles: "I know Sir can be prickly, but you have to understand he had a very terrible childhood."

Klaus: "I understand. I'm having a very terrible childhood right now."

-A Series of Unfortunate Events

#homestuck #homestuck review #homestuck meta #homestuck reread #let's read homestuck #Homespork

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vexedtonightmares · 6 years ago

Text

La Fin Des Temps Chapter 17 (Elu Hogwarts AU)

Dimanche 16:34 - “Do you really want to know why he was expelled?”

Lucas hadn’t moved since he’d crashed on the bed that was ready for him to run to in the Room of Requirement on Friday night, well, Saturday morning actually. He’d debated going to his safe place under the Quidditch stadium, but remembered that there was a match that weekend, which spoiled those plans. So, the Room of Requirement it was. He was lucky he knew how to work it so well, if anyone had been looking for him, they wouldn’t be able to get in.

His phone had died shortly after he’d stumbled in here, drained after hours of fruitless research on bipolar disorder. He hadn’t bothered to charge it since then, knowing that there would be numerous calls, messages, and Instagram posts waiting for him. All he wanted to do was lie there and stare at the ceiling, forgetting that the person he’d thought he’d spend the rest of his life with didn’t actually love him. The things Lucille had said hadn’t totally matched up to what he’d read online, but he figured that she was probably more trustworthy than the internet, especially given how long she’d known Eliott.

He groaned and covered his eyes with his hands, rubbing them as if that would make everything hurt less. Everything had been perfect, and now it was all wrecked. He should have known better, known things weren’t going to last. Nothing in life came easily, and it was most often taken away before there was even a chance to enjoy it, at least in his experience.

He could bemoan his troubles all he wanted, but they really were minute compared to what Eliott must have been going through. It took a lot of his willpower to not go and demand to see him, knowing that wasn’t going to help anything but wishing it would. Maybe Eliott didn’t love him, but he loved Eliott so much he could feel it every time he pressed his hands to where his heart sat beneath his skin. Above all, he wanted Eliott to be ok, and that was what hurt most of all.

If only it was as easy to let go as it was to fall in love in the first place.

The sheets on the bed still smelled like Eliott, though Lucas assumed that was partly due to the room working its magic, reflecting his desires. It didn’t matter the cause, Lucas buried his face in them regardless, imagining they were in a universe that Eliott had trusted him with this part of himself, that he hadn’t felt like he’d had to hide.

That was what bothered Lucas most of all about everything. He didn’t care that Eliott was bipolar, not really. Being bipolar didn’t mean that he couldn’t love Lucas, as he’d originally thought when Lucille had spoken to him. Lucille hadn’t said that, she’d said ‘Didn’t he tell you why he’d been expelled’? and it had cut deeper than any knife. Eliott didn’t not love him because he wasn’t capable, he didn’t love him because he felt like he couldn’t trust him. Lucas had trusted Eliott with every part of him, even the parts he readily hid from everyone else, but Eliott hadn’t felt that he could do the same.

He wondered if Eliott was still in the hospital wing, if they knew how to treat him properly. He supposed it was a good thing that Lucille was there that weekend, if she knew about his illness. Did Idriss and Sofiane know about it? Maybe they didn’t, it could explain why Eliott was so adamant that they weren’t friends when all evidence suggested otherwise. Idriss and Sofiane wouldn’t have went out of their way for Lucas if they hadn’t cared deeply for Eliott.

If their situations were reversed, would he have told Eliott? He’d been trying to put himself into Eliott’s shoes to no avail. Of course, his head told him, of course you would have told him, but he didn’t know if it was true or just wishful thinking.

“Lucas Lallemant!” an angry voice yelled out of nowhere and Lucas shot up in bed, eyes wide and hair tangled. Imane stood at the foot of his bed, arms crossed. Behind her were Idriss and Sofiane, looking a tad bit more hesitant, like they weren’t sure if they should be there or not. Come to think of it… how were they in there? He’d been very specific with his instructions for the room.

“How did you…?” he asked blearily, blinking away tears he hadn’t realized were close to falling from his eyes. Imane rolled her eyes and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Please, did you really think I wouldn’t figure out how to get in?”

Fair enough. He should have known better than to underestimate Imane. “But why are you here?”

“Oh, I’m supposed to let you hide away in here, avoiding the world forever? What kind of friend would I be if I did that?” Her voice was so stern that he almost didn’t realize what she’d said.

His face split into a hesitant grin. “Oh, we’re friends, are we?”

Her eyes softened at his smile, even as she leaned over and hit the side of his head. “Hey!” he exclaimed, bringing his hands up to defend himself if need be.

“Of course we’re friends you dumbass.”

“Excuse me if you’re sending some mixed signals,” he said rubbing the side of his head. Sofiane smirked softly behind her, bringing Lucas’ attention back to them, why they were there.

He dropped his eyes to the sheets in front of him, a tad embarrassed for what they’d had to deal with. “Thank you guys, for the other night. I’m sorry… I was… I don’t even know. But thank you,” he brought his eyes up to meet Idriss’, then Sofiane’s, “Seriously.”

“Don’t mention it,” Sofiane said with his megawatt smile. Now that the situation was a tad less dire, Lucas found himself taking in every inch of Sofiane’s appearance. He had nothing on Eliott, of course, but still, he was quite the view. Idriss wasn’t so bad himself, but he knew Imane would kill him if he ever said anything, so he stayed quiet.

“How’s Eliott?” he asked softly, noticing how Sofiane’s smile dimmed slightly. He sat on the bed beside Imane and Lucas saw her body language shift with him so close to her. If the circumstances were different, he might have inquired about it.

“He’s not great,” Sofiane said candidly, “Lucille’s the only person he lets see him, but from what she’s told us, he’s coming down, regretting things.”

Lucas felt his heart clench painfully at the mention of Lucille. Had Eliott lied to him about her too? Was she more important in his life than he’d insinuated? As if anticipating his question, Sofiane continued, “Lucille and Eliott are like siblings. They love like them, fight like them. None of us have ever been able to touch their relationship, and we didn’t want to. What they have with each other is special, but it’s nothing like what I’m sure you two have with each other, ok? Manon’s your sister, right? Lucille being with Eliott would be like Manon being with you.”

There was a lot of information that Lucas was trying to take in, so he couldn’t mumble anything other than, “But I’m gay?”

Needless to say, Imane hit him again, but this time she was smiling and she sank onto the pillow beside him. Sofiane reached up to scratch his head before looking at Lucas earnestly. “We had no idea that you didn’t know he was bipolar. I assume that’s why you ran off after you talked to Lucille?”

Lucas nodded. Sofiane grimaced. “We love Lucille, we do, but she can be a bit… direct at times.”

Idriss snorted from where he was leaning against one of the walls. “Understatement of the century.”

“Regardless,” Sofiane shot Idriss an unamused glance before returning his attention to Lucas, “We know firsthand how it can be… a lot to take in at first. But it doesn’t mean he’s less of a person than you thought he was.”

Lucas shook his head immediately. “I didn’t walk away because she said he was bipolar. I don’t care about that. My-- my birth mother, she was schizophrenic, and I feel guilty every day that I wasn’t able to be there for her, that I didn’t know what was going on until it was too late. I know that Eliott is still Eliott, no matter what.”

“Then why are you hiding?” Imane asked.

“Because he doesn’t love me, and I don’t know how to go about my life trying to stop loving him.”

Idriss folded his arms over his chest. “You think because he’s bipolar he can’t love you? Trust me, that’s not the case.”

“No, that’s not what I--” Lucas began, interrupted by Sofiane.

“He feels more than any of us, loves harder than we could even begin to comprehend. I wouldn’t count him out just yet.”

Lucas cut back in, trying to explain himself. “I know that. Well, I guess I didn’t totally know that, but I knew he was capable of love. Of course he is. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him fall in love with a flower, with a door handle. I trusted him with my entire life, tragic backstory and all, but I never would have even known the two of you existed if I wasn’t friends with Imane. How can he say he loves me, and how can I believe him, if he doesn’t trust me at all?”

Sofiane and Idriss exchanged a glance with one another. He hadn’t meant to completely unload everything onto them, but it had felt too good to stop. The fact that they weren’t saying anything told him that he wasn’t completely off base either. Sofiane and Idriss seemed to come to some sort of silent understanding, Sofiane speaking at last. “He didn’t tell you anything?”

“No.” Lucas’ voice broke at the end of the word, shattering with the last bit of his heart. Imane snapped her head in his direction. “He didn’t tell you why he was expelled?” she asked.

“No,” he repeated, just as broken.

“I feel like it’s Eliott’s prerogative to tell you or not to tell you, but…” Sofiane trailed off, standing up from the bed, pacing. “I also feel like you have a right to know.”

“No,” Lucas repeated one more time, but this time he was resigned to it. “It’s his story to tell. If I never know… then I never know. I’m not entitled to anything.”

Sofiane glanced at Idriss. “Well, the thing is… it’s kind of our story to tell as well. Idriss’, at the very least. If we tell you, it might help you to be there for him in the way that we weren’t. It haunts us every day too, you know. ”

Lucas looked up sharply first at Idriss, then at Imane, who nodded. “Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked her. She shrugged. “Like you said, it isn’t my story to tell. Plus, I assumed he’d told you, especially after the mural.”

He stared at his hands in his lap for a moment. Of course he would have preferred if Eliott told him these things, but at this rate he didn’t know if Eliott would ever talk to him again, and maybe hearing Idriss’ story could help him figure out what to do next. “Ok,” he said, “If you’re willing to tell me, I’m willing to listen.”

Idriss took a breath in and out, glancing at his sister, then Sofiane, before beginning, “I’m assuming he didn’t tell you this, but at Beauxbatons we were best friends. Him, me, Sofiane, and two other guys who we don’t really talk to anymore. They treated Eliott different after he was diagnosed and even more so after everything else that happened. A lot of people at school were like that, actually.”

Lucas thought back to some comments he and Eliott had received on their Instagram posts occasionally, but especially following their time painting the mural. Eliott had brushed them off at the time, and Lucas hadn’t thought too much about it, but maybe it was somewhat relevant to what Idriss was telling him.

“Wizards don’t understand mental illness,” Idriss continued, and Lucas nodded grimly. He knew firsthand just how much wizards didn’t understand mental illness. “He wanted to keep it a secret, only the five of us and Lucille knew, other than his parents, obviously. Honestly, he probably only told us about it because his therapist had told him to tell someone, and it’s not like we wouldn’t have noticed if he was depressed or manic over time, especially living in the same room. He was diagnosed when we were fifteen, the summer before fifth year. Apparently he’d had a pretty bad manic episode over the summer holidays that led to his diagnosis, according to Lucille. She was the only one he saw that whole summer. When he came back to school, everything was chill. He told us about his diagnosis a few months in, and we were all there for him. Sofiane and I are muggle born as well, so we sort of knew about mental illnesses, but Henri and Marc were mostly clueless-- Henri and Marc were our other friends, by the way--”

It had to be the two Lucas had seen on Instagram. Henririen and theoneandonly. He should have blocked them.

“--because they’d grown up in predominantly wizarding families. They were supportive at first, especially because Eliott seemed the same as always. Then, about a quarter through fifth year, he had a major depressive episode. He wouldn’t eat, get out of bed, talk to us, anything, no matter what we tried. He came out of it after about a month, and it slowly got better and better over the course of a few more months, but somehow the dynamic between us all had shifted. Henri and Marc were distant, would make snide comments here and there because they just didn’t understand. Lucille was with him all the time because she insisted that she was the only one who could really understand him. That kind of pissed off Sof and I, but we let it slide because Eliott’s well-being was more important than our pride.”

How had Eliott ever let friends like these go? What the hell had happened?

“Listen, Lucas, when I tell you the rest, I promise you that it was all way in the past, ok? Nothing lingering from back then. No… feelings of any kind.” Idriss was nearly pleading, which worried Lucas, but he wanted to know the rest so he just said he understood and nodded for Idriss to continue.

“Ok,” Idriss nodded, “Well, after fifth year, everything turned out ok. We spent time together over the holidays, Henri and Marc weren’t around as much, but that just allowed the three of us to become closer which was a good thing, at first. Once sixth year started, I could sort of sense a shift, though I just thought it was because of Henri and Marc. It started to become apparent to me midway through the year that it wasn’t about Henri and Marc, it was about Eliott and me. He’d… developed feelings for me. I thought if I ignored it, or gave him subtle hints that it was never going to happen, that it would go away, and for a time I thought it did. But then he kissed me, out of the blue one day when he’d invited me alone to help him study. I-- I didn’t handle things well. I don’t even remember what I said, but I pushed him away from me and left him there, alone. I felt bad about it after, of course I did, there were so many better ways to handle it, so I decided next time I saw him I would apologize.

“Only, he didn’t come back to our room that night or the next, didn’t come to classes either. Sofiane and I got worried that maybe he was depressed again, but then all of a sudden he showed up again, looking and acting like nothing had happened. He was smiling a lot, talking about how every day was the best of his life and we knew that he wasn’t sleeping at night. None of us had ever seen him manic before, except Lucille, so we didn’t know it was happening. She didn’t either, until it went too far.” Idriss paused and looked over at Lucas. He was doing his best to maintain a guise of calm, but he was worried that he was Eliott’s replacement Idriss, just one that had been stupid enough to fall in love.

“You know he can speak parseltongue, yeah?” Idriss asked. Lucas nodded, thinking about Brian, whom he had refused over and over to ‘meet’, no matter how many times Eliott begged. “I can speak parseltongue too, only I was born able to speak it.”

There was a flash in Lucas’ mind of him and Eliott lying on the floor of the charms classroom, of Eliott sitting up abruptly, talking about how he hadn’t always known how to speak parseltongue, how he’d had an old friend who could. “I still don’t know how he learned,” Idriss continued, “All I know is one day he started speaking to me in parseltongue like it was the most normal thing in the world and he was so happy with himself for learning it. It had taken him two days, two days, to learn a whole language that I’d thought was unlearnable. We really should have seen what was going on, but again, we ignored it. That was when he started his great Instagram escapade too, insisting that it was the future of wizard communication and that it would be a good way to remember our time at school. The idea spread like wildfire, and suddenly Eliott was one of the most popular people at the school. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been before, but now everyone knew him, or wanted to.

“This was when Henri and Marc started spreading around that he was crazy. Some people believed it, some people didn’t, and Sofiane, Lucille, and I did our best to quell the rumors, but they stuck. I’m not sure whether he ever knew what everyone was saying about him or not, whether he even cared given the space he was in mentally, but it only made everyone more interested in him. One night, he didn’t come back to the room again, and we got worried. That was when we checked where we knew he kept his meds and realized he must not have been taking them all year. Basically, we freaked the fuck out, called Lucille, but she didn’t know where he was either…” Idriss trailed off and looked Lucas dead in the eye. “Do you really want to know why he got expelled?”

“Yes.” He wasn’t sure whether or not he was lying.

“He started a livestream on Instagram, which seemed normal, at first, but we didn’t know where the fuck he was. There’s a bridge, leading up to the school, and he was underneath it, with about twenty cans of paint and his phone, letting the world know exactly what he was doing. All he said before he started painting was ‘This is for you’, and I knew he was talking to me. I’m not sure if it was meant to be an apology or a way to win me over, but he started making a massive painting, right on the underbelly of the bridge. Suddenly the livestream numbers jumped from twenty, to five hundred, to four thousand, and so on. His livestream lasted for about twenty hours, and it was a weekend, so everyone watched the whole time. We still didn’t know where he was at that point, so we couldn’t stop him.

“His Instagram follower count went from four hundred to nearly six hundred thousand overnight, and there was even more people than that watching his livestream. Everyone was trying to figure out if it was some kind of joke or if he was insane. He was talking wildly the entire time, mostly to himself, but they were all eating it up. It might have all been ok, if he hadn’t started using magic. The majority of the people watching were muggles, they weren’t supposed to know about magic. He’d broken the international statute of secrecy in a huge way. The headmaster found him eventually, and that’s when the livestream cut out. Next thing we all knew Eliott had been expelled and sent from the school. I’d wondered why they hadn’t made him snap his wand but Lucille told me later that he’d snapped it himself in a rage over what he considered a major injustice. Why shouldn’t the muggles know about magic? Why should we keep it all to ourselves? I think the only reason everything blew over was because his parents came and explained the situation to the headmaster, but it didn’t make much difference in the end. His Instagram was deactivated and he stopped talking to everyone but Lucille and wizards all over the world had to obliviate every muggle who’d seen or heard of his livestream. The followers he has now are all wizards, thankfully, though I’m not sure the French ministry would be too pleased to know that he’s using Instagram again.” Idriss took a break from speaking for a moment, running his hand over his buzzed hair.

When he spoke again his voice was oddly flat, like he was trying very hard not to have an emotional reaction. “During the time he was expelled he tried to kill himself.”

Lucas’ head snapped to attention and his fists clenched the sheets beneath him. “He what?”

“He thought we all hated him, that he was all alone, that no one would ever love him. Sofiane and I tried to reach out, but his parents always stopped us, so we had no way of knowing how deep he’d sunk into the hole inside himself. They only told Lucille when it happened. She left school right away to visit him, and we tried to come too, but she insisted again that we didn’t understand, that it would only make him feel worse. That was the last either of us heard anything about him until he reactivated his Instagram. Well, Imane told me he’d started here, though, if I’m being honest, I was reluctant to believe it. But yeah, I guess that’s where my story ends and yours begins,” Idriss finished, hesitation evident in his tone of voice, trying to gauge how Lucas would react. Lucas wasn’t sure himself.

He laid back against the headboard, mulling over his thoughts in his mind. In some ways, he understood better why Eliott hadn’t told him. He must have thought that all of his friends had abandoned him after everything that happened, and didn’t want to lose another. Did he really love Lucas, then, if he’d done everything he’d done not to lose him?

“I want to see him,” Lucas decided. Imane sat up and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you sure? This is probably a lot to take in, even I didn’t know some of that.” She eyed him with concern, and he felt a surge of appreciation for her. He placed his hand on hers and squeezed it once before removing it from his shoulder. “I’m sure,” he said, then turned to Idriss. “And thank you, for telling me. I’m… I’m sorry for how things turned out for you guys, but I hope things can be better in the future. I know I’d really like to be friends with the two of you.”

Sofiane smiled that same brilliant smile. “Same here, Lucas.”

Idriss simply nodded, which was confirmation enough, given all that he’d shared.

“Do you think… do you think he really loves me?” Lucas asked before he could stop himself. Idriss smiled at last. “If there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that. From what I’ve heard from Imane, and seen on his Instagram, you’re his person, you know? If soulmates are real, I think you’ve both found yours.”

Lucas became aware of the tears sliding down his cheeks as he smiled, tasting the saltiness. He didn’t know how long they’d been falling, but assumed it had been a while and was grateful to Imane, Sofiane, and Idriss for not mentioning it.

Without another word, he slid off the bed and out the door to go run to the man he loved, the man of his dreams. The staircases all worked in his favor and there was no one around in the hallways to slow him down as he ran, not even aware of how fast or how far he’d run. He got to the doors to the hospital wing and stopped abruptly, taking time to catch his breath and smooth down his hair. He was still wearing the same clothes he’d worn Friday, but he didn’t have time to change.

Pushing open the door, he nearly ran straight into Lucille, who blinked at him in shock. “What are you doing here?” she asked with a hard expression.

“I need to see him. Is he all right?” He tried to peek around her head to find Eliott, but he must have been farther down the wing, somewhere he couldn’t see.

“Lucas, you need to leave,” she told him.

“Why.” It wasn’t a question, not really.

She brushed her fingers through the ends of her hair, sighing. “He’s coming down right now. Down, down, and he hates people seeing him like this. Trust me, I’ve been there every time he’s gone through this, I know what to do, you don’t need to worry.”

“I’m not--” he cut off in frustration, “I mean, I am worried, but not because I think you don’t know what you’re doing. You need to leave later today, and he needs someone to be there for him. I want to be there for him.”

“You can’t,” she said simply.

“And why not?” he laughed crudely.

“Because he has to come to you. If you’re there before he’s ready it will only make it worse.”

“How do you know that for sure? Did he tell you he didn’t want to see me?”

“Yes.”

The word caught Lucas off balance. “W-what?”

Her gaze flicked away from his quickly, like she couldn’t bear to look at him. It made him think she might be lying, but there was nothing he could do about it.

He turned to leave, not knowing what else he could do, when his gaze snagged on a vase of flowers by the entrance. Feeling inspired, he conjured lilies, remembering how Eliott had smelled them in his amortentia, and handed them to Lucille, taking a moment to write out a note on one of the scrap papers from the hotel. He attached it to one of the flowers and addressed Lucille. “Please give these to him for me.”

She glanced down at the note once before meeting his eyes again. “I will.”

“I probably won’t see you again before you leave, so have a safe trip back to France,” he said a bit awkwardly. He didn’t really want to be cordial to her, but he thought of how Lucille was Eliott’s Manon and how he wouldn’t want Eliott to completely eviscerate Manon if their roles were swapped.

She looked a bit surprised. “Thank you, Lucas. Goodbye.”

Her goodbye had a finality to it, but he wasn’t going to let her get off that easily. “See you later,” he said, before turning on his heel, smirking to himself slightly before exiting the room and reflecting on the note he’d written for Eliott.

Idriss told me about everything, I hope that was ok. Just know that I’ll be here when you’re ready. Promise. -Lucas

He hoped it was enough, but it was all he could do at this point.

Hope.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16

AO3

Weekly Instagram Roundup: Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4 Week 5 Week 6 Week 7

#skam france #elu fic #elu #elu hogwarts au #eliott demaury #lucas lallemant #la fin des temps

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marper-didnt-die-for-blecho · 6 years ago

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Diablesse Pt. 3

Read it all on AO3

People who’ve asked to be tagged: @gearstorm @a-sweet-little-fangirl @agent-wash1ngtub @protecthefuckingbees @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction

So this part is less action and more gay? I couldn’t help myself, but to be fair it’s not a lot. Just two girls bonding over their contempt for a third girl while climbing a filthy fire escape, how romantic <3 I mean... Gotta find those heroes somehow, right?

I broke part 3 into 2 parts, so I’ll probably post Part 4 tomorrow morning, depending on how well this part is received. Again, thank you all so much for the kind words, and I hope you enjoy!!!

Chloè would say that it smelled like teenage angst, but she has a feeling that not only has that joke already been made, but that whoever did make it didn’t deserve the satisfaction. Whatever.

“Not that I doubt that you’re honestly trying to prove your worth as a hero,” Kagami started, the two girls scanning the rooftops of Paris in search of either Ladybug (Kagami) or Chat Noir (Chloè), “but why go through all of this for Marinette?”

Chloè snapped Marinette’s bag shut. “Don’t get it twisted, Tsurugi. I still very much dislike Marinette. She’s extremely annoying and a tad bit overrated if you ask me,” Her scowl fell slightly, changing into something less... unfriendly, “but she’s helped me out in a pinch or two,” or eighty given that she was LADYBUG, “She saw something in me that not even my own parents saw, and she deserves to have someone be on her side right now, even if my version of helping is to rip that butterfly out of her tail.

“Plus: The enemy of my enemy is my... ally.” She said. Chloè and Marinette had few things in common (apparently more than she thought), and hating Rossi seemed to be the current thing at the top of that list.

Needing something to distract her from her own thoughts and feelings, she changed the subject. “But enough about that, what’s going on with you and Adrikins, hm? Is that something I should be worried about?” She didn’t think about how Adrien is in love with Ladybug who is Marinette who is in love with Adrien. She swears.

“We’re...” Kagami searched for the word, “friends. I think. I don’t really have too many, and I was pretty sure we went on what’s technically a date, but we’re friends.” Kagami steeled her face. “Besides, he has a thing for someone else, didn’t you know?” Did Chloè not know that Adrien had a crush on Marinette? Kagami had the feeling that if the blonde did know, she wouldn’t be so pressed to help.

Chloè scoffed, “Of course I knew, but come on, who doesn’t? She’s amazing. Everyone in the class has a thing for her.” She was getting whiplash from switching from Mari to Ladybug. “But it’s dangerous for them to be together, so I don’t know what’s going to happen with that.”

Poor Adrikins... He probably wished he had a miraculous so he could date Ladybug. Chloè figured that if he had one, he’d have to fight Chat Noir for her though. That’d be fun to watch, a ball of blonde hair and...

Blonde hair and green eyes...

There’s no way. There’s no way in hell that Adrien was-

“No!”

Kagami grabbed Chloè and ducked down behind a car as the both looked towards the source of the scream.

In the middle of the street, Alya was covering her ears, Demonettes flying all around her, whispering something the two girls couldn’t hear.

“It wasn’t like that!” The Ladyblogger shouted, swatting at the air, “No! I didn’t mean to!”

Chloè and Kagami locked eyes, exchanging a ‘WTF’ before Alya shouted again.

“I’m Sorry!” was the last thing Alya said before the Demonettes surrounded her entirely.

When she was visible again, Alya was now just as red as Little Devil. Her clothes had turned all black, as did the tips of her now clawed fingers. Her eyes were yellow as well, but she no longer had any pupils. Just two glowing yellow spots behind her glasses. Her horns, unlike Little Devil, were red.

Tears streamed down her face as she was overcome with grief and anger.

Chloè pulled Kagami into an alley before Alya could see them. “We need to get on the roof.” She did not want to use the dirty fire escape ladder, but she had no choice. She should’ve just went to New York. There are no akumas in New York, she’d never be forced to use her bare hands to climb such filth. “We heroes often travel by rooftop, so finding one of them will be easier up there, plus,” she looked behind them as more civilians, now demonized, began to cause havoc in their anger. “They probably won’t spare us like Little Devil did.”

Chloè gestured to the ladder, obviously wanting Kagami to go first. “As the only hero here, I need to make sure you go first.” Also there was no way she was getting her hands dirty if Tsurugi wasn’t.

“You keep using the word ‘hero,’ but you aren’t Queen Bee right now, are you?” Kagami knew Chloè was full of shit, but she still went and started to climb first.

“We don’t have time for semantics.”

“Wow, she knows what semantics means.” Ignoring Chloè’s indignant huff below her, she recalled their earlier conversation. “Also, what did you mean by what you said earlier? How special is Marinette that she can’t date Adrien?”

Chloè’s hand almost slipped off of the bar. Did Kagami know that Marinette was Ladybug? She couldn’t, or else she wouldn’t be asking about why Ladybug can’t date civilians. Unless she also knew that Chat Noir was-

No, that’s not a fact. Chat Noir was not Adrien, period. Which meant, “Wait, you think Adrien has a crush on Marinette?” Technically she was right, but? No!

Kagami paused for one second before continuing up. “Yes.” She spoke slowly, choosing her words. “Does he not? He was asking me for advice about what to do because she didn’t like him back, so I told him to change his target. I had hoped he had understood what I meant because he gave me a rose and asked me to go ice skating with him, but I was wrong because he invited her too.” She scowled. “She even had the nerve to invite another guy. She’s just playing with his affections.”

Chloè couldn’t help herself. This was too funny. Superheroes aside, this was hilarious. “I’m sorry, I promise I’m not laughing at you. If I was in your shoes, I’d have been pissed too, but I promise you that you got things backwards. Adrien does not have a crush on her.”

“I’m pretty sure he does. You just said it was obvious and that your entire class did? Who else would you be talking about?”

Technically, Marinette. “I was referring to Ladybug? Adrien has been obsessed with her since she first showed up. As for Marinette? I don’t know who that other guy was, but she’s the one who has a thing for Adrien. Since the day they met.” They were almost at the top, thank heavens. She wanted to see Kagami’s face right now, rather than her ass. “That’s something apparently all three of us have in common...”

Kagami blushed, glad that no one could see her do it. “Well, what about Lila? Doesn’t she like Adrien as well?”

“Listen, if you want me to keep the bitch turned off, I’m gonna need you to promise to never mention her again. I’m the Mayor’s daughter, and you come from old money. It would be bad for us, politically, for me to hate you over something this small.”

“Oh? You don’t already hate me for being close to Adrien?” Kagami smiled. “Besides, Rossi could also be a good ally, I mean... She does know the Prince.”

Chloè groaned. “You’re horrible. Utterly ridiculous.” Kagami laughed, making the blonde blush. She cleared her throat and look down at her hands.

Kagami hoisted herself up on to the roof. “Either way, I believe Marinette deserves an apology. I was incredibly rude to her because of all of this.”

“You were rude to her only because of how you thought she was playing with Adrien’s emotions?” Kagami turned and offered her a hand, nodding. “That’s,” Hot. Woah, what? “That’s pretty impressive.” She let Kagami pull her up.

“Also, bold of you to believe that you’re close enough to him for me to be worried. If anything, him spending time with you mean less time for him to spend with Dupain-Cheng. Time with me would be optimal, but you guys try to stab each other for fun. I think I can yield this once.”

“If he doesn’t have a crush on her, then there should be no reason for them to not spend time together.”

“Marinette is... special.” Chloè hated saying this, but Kagami had no one to tell, except Adrien but... anyways. “Everyone loves her. From randos to celebrities. Adrien’s father and my mother think she’s super talented, and she has Jagged Stone on speed dial!” Her tone grew somber. “There’s just something about her that makes everyone fall in love which means that us heroes are going to have trouble fighting her.”

“What do you mean?” Kagami had thought Chloè was a little jealous, but her last sentence made her rethink that. “No matter how important the civilian, Ladybug and Chat Noir have to defeat the akuma. I’ve no doubt that they’ve had to deal with personal friends being akumatized.”

“Again, I don’t know why, and I wish you’d stop making me say this, but she’s different. Marinette’s the only civilian to help us with an akuma. She might not know their identity, but she knows us in a way that no one else can claim.” She sighed. “This is going to be a hard fight for us.” Her and Chat Noir were screwed.

“Yeah, that’s true, but it’s nothing that we can’t handle, right?”

Both girls turned to find Chat Noir squatting on the edge of the roof, watching them.

#ml spoilers #ml salt #less salt this time about chameleon #more salt about frozer and how all of these girls seem to fight over a boy who wants none of them #miraculous ladybug #it's annoying how all of Adrien's love interests dislike each other #especially when he 'only has eyes for ladybug'#but whatever it's not my show #my writiing #diablesse

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spaceorphan18 · 6 years ago

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Finding Kurt Hummel: A Wedding

Masterpost

6x08: A Wedding

It’s kind of fitting that I’m writing this on the weekend that Darren and his lovely long time girlfriend/fiancee Mia are getting married. It’s also Love, Love, Love week in the TDB rewatch, and I mean Valentine’s Day weekend (but eh I’ve never cared about that.)

Anyway! .. Alright guys - we’re here! The culmination of the entire Klaine arc -- right here and... Alright, let’s be honest, this episode is, well, lacking. Personally, I think they could have added another hour to the episode - fleshed out the reunion just a tad more, given Blaine’s mom an actual story, and maybe not tie Klaine and Brittana in a nice bow together (personally - Klaine eloping would have been an interesting route).

But this is Glee. And it was more interested in being propaganda for gay marriage. And hey!! I’m totally here for all the gay marriage, and LGTB rights -- yes let’s do that!! But here... they sacrificed organic story for their message, which is mostly why I think this episode is disappointing. It kind of forgot about the heart of the characters

High-End Barn Wedding

So - we kick off the episode with Wedding Planner!Kurt... so for all of you who wished Kurt had planned his own wedding, well -- he mostly did. Actually, Artie is supposed to be the one who’s the wedding planner - but what has he really done? Really? It seems fitting that Kurt would take over the job.

While I don’t hate this episode (or even feel as disappointed by it) the way some of you do -- there are a few things I am sad we didn’t get with Klaine’s impromptu wedding shenanigans. I would have loved to have seen some kind of bachelor party shenanigans -- complete with a return of Cooper to crash either Blaine’s or Kurt’s weddings. I mean - how much fun would that have been?? Not to say that later, Cooper didn’t show up and throw some bachelor parties anyway after they got married. ;)

So, here’s my first issue with the episode. Kurt has a whole scene where he tries to calm down Brittany cause she’s freaking out and projecting her anxiety about getting married onto the little details of the barn set up. (Huh - totally wish we could have seen pre-wedding neurotic Kurt, too.) Kurt’s calm and collected and gets things going.

Okay, what frustrates me is that in the script - IN THE SCRIPT - there’s a moment where Brittany lingers on more about Kurt and his called-off wedding, and Kurt gets a little dreamy about the wedding planning, etc, etc -- and honestly, this one section would have fixed, like, 90% of my issues. See -- narratively speaking - Kurt needs a reason, a catalyst to run off and go see Blaine. He doesn’t have one in the episode, which makes the whole reunion feel out of nowhere and jarring. -- Likewise, in Love, Love, Love - the reunion was slightly out of nowhere, but at they at least alluded to it in a few lines and slightly set it up at the end of season 4.

But this time around, episode 7, being totally Blaine focused doesn’t have room to give Kurt his ‘ah-ha!’ moment. Which means there’s a link that’s not there. It was in the script... and then they cut it out. Why?? I don’t understand.

So, if they didn’t want to go that dreamy over a wedding thing - they could have also give Brittany the chance to tell Kurt about Blaine and Karofsky splitting up -- which would also be a catalyst and cause Kurt to start running. Mostly, though, this episode just isn’t well written. **shrugs**

Anyway - we get some awkward jokes from Brittany about Kurt’s ‘boyfriend’ being older than his dad. Which is - ew. But also I really don’t think Kurt is considering Walter his boyfriend, especially since Kurt just kinda doesn’t even acknowledge the comment. Meanwhile, to prove this episode is just awkwardly written - there’s a joke in here where Brittany doesn’t know that Burt Hummel is Kurt’s dad. But the set up is that Kurt calls his dad by his first name -- which he’s never done... ever. Who would say their parents’ name instead of saying -- hey my dad could help?

The details of this episode are... just not good, which is truly the unfortunate thing.

Run, Kurt, Run

So -- without any kind of set-up this scene feels... well... a little awkward, so let’s pretend Kurt has reason to feel that he and Blaine are actually going to the wedding together (there’s nothing missing from the script that sets it up either, btw.)

Basically - he’s doing the mature thing of telling Walter first that it’s over -- not that there was much to end, honestly. Obviously, he’s been talking to Walter about the Brittana wedding - enough so that Walter thinks they’re getting tuxes or something, (he’s really kind of assuming here) but Kurt says straight up - no, he’s going with Blaine. And the subtext here is --- hey it’s been fun, but I’m totally getting back together with my ex -- as if I haven’t talked about him enough, he totally kissed me, like, a week ago, and I came back here to get him, and I think we’re ready to be ‘on’ again, so you’re a nice dude, Walter - but I’m going in the direction I’m supposed to be.

Walter doesn’t seem shocked or surprised or even hurt that this is all going down. We get a lovely speech about young love and how Kurt should feel lucky that he gets to be in his youth to experience young (gay) love. And, I mean.... it’s a nice speech and all, but it feels more like older gay talking to younger gay about how he wishes he could have been wiser in his youth to run towards love. And an other example where the episode leans in to the idea of ‘gay marriage good’ rather than showing us how it can be good by organically letting these couples have their moments. Oh show...

The part I do like about Walter’s speech, however, is the advice he gives Kurt (which is actually similar to Brittany’s only taken in a different direction). He tells Kurt to go live, get hurt, get back up again, hang on to love, and, well, god I’m going to say it, don’t stop believing. And it almost feels like this is something that Kurt’s been waiting to hear for a while -- this kid has placed a protective shield around his heart for a long, long, long time now and he’s ready to be fully open with it again. He’s ready to let Blaine in fully -- and this is the reason I’m fine with the wedding being so soon after the reunion (even if the narrative is super awkward).

This whole journey from mid-season three to now has been about growing up, and figuring out how to be adults in love, and understanding that being in an adult relationship is different than the fairy tale their relationship started out being. And I love that concept -- love it! Even if I think how they told it is bumpy, awkward, and lacking a few key moments.

So -- in a mirror to the scene where Blaine and Karofsky split up (yeah - this “break up” is definitely the same kind of sentiment) Kurt starts running to go find Blaine...

Alright - so while this little reunion scene is rushed, I do like the urgency of it. From the moment Kurt runs in the door - he’s all, I love you, I’ve always loved you, I want and need you -- right now. He’s anxious - because he’s completely being emotionally honest right now -- and that’s not something Kurt really ever does. Blaine’s a little shocked at this development - but he’s been ready, too, so hey let’s just confirm we’re back together and call it good. (And yes, they probably had sex right then and there with the door open - because TV logic, but also because they just need to be with each other right now, and the talky stuff can wait until after the physical release.)

So. This idea that they get back together without solving their issues... here’s what I want to say about that. First of all -- Kurt has his one line of -- ‘I know everything was a mess before but now it’s not’. And, yeah, that does kind of wallpaper over things nicely - but I’ll argue that it’s also true. They had to work a lot on themselves this time around and they did that (mostly between season 5 and 6, actually). Kurt -- who sometimes runs away from the emotionally difficult situations (he broke it off with Blaine because he feared emotionally difficult would lead to something that can’t be fixed) has now run back into Blaine’s arms, knowing well that his heart will get bruised in what will be their long relationship -- but like the advice he gave to Blaine last season, it’s about trust, and he trusts himself that it’ll be okay.

Look - they’re always going to have issues, because every couple does. They’re always going to have things to work on and work through -- because that’s real. They aren’t two kids in a fairy tale relationship anymore, they’re two adults understanding what being in an adult relationship really means. And yeah, Glee could have fleshed this moment out, could have Kurt and/or Blaine explicitly say that - but you know? They really didn’t need to.

They fixed themselves in the early episodes of this season, the elevator gave them their friendship back, along with the ability to be with each other in an enclosed space, and Transitioning demonstrated that the spark is (as it always was) still there. So all they had to do was ditch the plot devices boyfriends and commit to each other.

And I do love this little moment, as Blaine just is like ‘fuck it’ and goes in for the kiss. While Kurt relaxes into his arms, finally able to reach the goal he set out for himself in the beginning of the season. My only “issue” with this scene is that they could have let it breath a little longer -- let the kiss be a little longer as they begin to enjoy each other again. But because this is Glee, and five million things going on, it’s cut away from very quickly.

American Gothic

So - according to, um, something this cute little moment was just Chris and Darren screwing around. I’m not gonna meta Klaine and American Gothic (the name of the famous painting in case you didn’t know.)

Instead - I’ll take a moment to talk about Blaine’s mom. Again, in the script, more stuff about her -- the reason she’s there was to do Brittana’s make-up (and, you know, be apart of the the mom’s group number). It’s hinted that Blaine’s dad left her and Cooper says hi. Geez. I also think it’s super weird that she hasn’t met Carol -- but did the writers give a shit? Nope, I just feel bad for Gina Gershon who is a lovely actress and they could have done so much with her, but instead do virtually nothing. I mean she and Blaine don’t even get a scene together. Ah well.

This scene is also, well, awkwardly written. Does Burt not know that they’re back together? (I find that hard to believe.) The prep work for this scene just don’t make much sense. Okay -- who was this written by? Hmm staff writer Ross Maxwell who’s been there since season three. He wrote Dance With Somebody, but also Previously Unaired Christmas and Sweet Dreams. This was directed by Bradley Beucker who did a lot of the big Klaine episodes, so I can’t even place fault there. Idk - this episode’s details are just so jarringly off, and there’s enough of them that it does take me out of the story a little bit.

Alright, so beyond my complaining about awkward set ups. Kurt gets told for the second time in fifteen minutes that he’s got to squeeze life to the fullest. You can’t predict what’s gonna happen next -- death, hardship, etc, etc, so live your best life, whatever that might be. Burt (hilariously) blames his philosophizing on there being a wedding, but Glee’s season 6 meta kick is still firmly here.

The thing I love about Kurt here though as he listens to his dad (and Carole) ramble on... he’s so happy and relaxed and reflective. Being together with Blaine again has just put his life back on track again. He is where he’s supposed to be and for the first time since the season started - he’s smiling and wistful and I love this kind of zen Kurt. But he’s also paying attention to his dad, too. This is all obvious set up for Kurt’s decision to get married on the spot, but it’s a nice sentiment, too -- that yeah, take a leap of faith - because you never know how long you’ll have the chance to do so.

Legit Brittan-emergency

I like the first few seconds of this scene - where they’re just casually chatting about the wedding while holding hands. They’ve been (nicely) not separated since they got back together, and I like this underlying theme that they want to have close physical contact as much as possible cause they missed quite a lot of that over the summer.

Anyway - Sue storms in and ruins the moment - and they aren’t playing dumb again! They won’t be getting locked in an elevator in a barn in Indiana so Sue can force them to have sex. Nope - that’s for the fic writers ;)

She’s got something else in mind...

Hey... at least she used the their season 6 (?) promo pics and not the creepy version she had in her hurt locker. It’s hard to say when Brittany got involved. I’d say the moment Sue walked in with the tuxes and the stand-ups. But Brittany claims she had this figured out while planning the wedding - which explains her kinda weird passive-aggressive attitude towards Kurt in the first scene, but since half of it was on the cutting room floor, it’s hard to buy here. But, you know, Santana’s gonna be okay with it and Brittany stops time with her mind, so you can figure the timeline out yourselfs on that one.

So, let’s break this down a little, shall we? After Brittany gets through her rambling about Klaine being role models (sure...) Sue jumps in and continues to break the fourth wall. Yeah -- she manipulated and kidnapped them, but she is... not us in this instant, but the writers. Because that’s what writers do -- we torture our characters so that they can have the happy ending we want to give them.

However, the Doylist view is not a favorite among many, so I’ll say - I’m not excusing Sue for her behavior. Don’t manipulate and kidnap people... it’s not nice and can be pretty hurtful. So - no, I’m not condoning Sue’s actions -- just explaining how Sue’s outside the narrative completely at this point.

I know a lot of people didn’t like this whole idea of Kurt (and Blaine) being what feels like forced to get married. And I will say this -- no one was forced to get married. No one was coerced. And had the script done its job correctly (I mean it tried - within the Walter and Burt speeches respectively) Kurt (and Blaine) being thrown an impromptu wedding would have felt much more organic. But this is Glee... in a world where real life rules don’t always apply.

I will say... had Kurt not wanted to - he would have flat out said no. No one has ever pushed Kurt Hummel around, least of all Sue and Brittany. In no way, shape, or form did anyone force Kurt to get married. And I really would like to make that clear -- there’s always a choice.

So - here’s the thing... Kurt’s mind is spinning. Things like this, this is crazy. His entire life, he’s tried to plan out to be perfect, and it’s always kind of blown up in his face. At the same time, life has always made him struggle, and now he gets the chance to have something nice -- and that’s... unexpected in the least.

Let’s hear his arguments...

This is crazy -- because it is. Who shares their wedding with someone else just for the hell of it? No one - because that is ridiculous.

He and Blaine just got back together -- but Kurt isn’t that concerned about this part of it, because he does know he and Blaine are forever. He’s beginning to get giddy with the idea here, but no - logic still prevails. It’s not that he and Blaine just got back together that’s the issue... it’s that Santana wouldn’t let them. But, eh, no, Santana’s gonna let things go cause plot.

He then says the following... It’s romantic. Sweet. And a little weird. Not -- I hate this idea. Not, it’s not going to work. Not, I don’t like these kind of surprises and I feel threatened. No, he’s smiling and excited and his mind is reeling at the prospect. He’s trying to be (semi-)logical about this, but his big, romantic heart is winning out.

Kurt says there’s no possible way they can get married, and looks to Blaine for confirmation...

Meanwhile, Blaine’s in the background. He’s a little timid, because he’s the one who never stopped wanting to be married. His only line is (lamely) about the rings, which Sue has covered. Honestly, I would have asked about the marriage license, but I’m sure Sue has one of those already forged as well.

But the thing is - when it comes down to it, Blaine’s ready -- he’s always been ready, and he’s just waiting for Kurt to finally, finally say yes. We get them holding hands, as Blaine stutters his way through an awkward speech. And then we cut to commercial....

Ug.

No really, why did this have to be an act break cliffhanger? Again, this writing! You could have had Blaine give a nice speech about being ready, and just waiting for Kurt and being okay with whatever they choose to do... and then Kurt could say that he does, indeed want to be married to Blaine. It’d have been a nice romantic moment here that... well, is no left to fanfic writers, I suppose. I also think it might have helped give Kurt some agency some felt he was lacking in this scene.

In addition, there is a nice wrap around moment - Kurt says in the series premiere during the break up scene - maybe he doesn’t want to get married. Now he’s faced with that choice again, and it comes full circle. Well... maybe in fact, he does...

I will say... the end of the scene, Kurt’s not scared Blaine will say he wants to get married and he’ll be forced into it. He wants to see if Blaine really does, because if he does -- Kurt’s given his choice. He’s scared, but also thrilled, because he could be given a pass to indulge on this huge romantic moment.

At Last

The moment Kurt comes on screen, we know his choice has been made, and look how he has this happy-drunk look on his face. As soon as Blaine said (off screen) that he wants to be married, Kurt probably snapped to and bam! let the romance happy-times begin. He knows -- based on all his previous experiences - that marriage won’t be an easy thing. He does. But now is their time to have a wonderful and lovely start to their marriage (and free!!) why not take this leap?

Anyway, I kind of love that he gets to walk with Brittany. They’ve got an interesting history together - and are both special unicorns, and I love that they get this little aisle walking moment together.

Meanwhile - let’s talk about the song At Last, beautifully sung by Mercedes and Artie. Klaine’s season 6 story, again being told not in songs that they’ve sung. This song is very them - and was originally going to be used during their car makeout session back in I Do, but I’m glad they saved it for here. It does fit Klaine, Brittana, and the whole gay marriage thing nicely.

Look at this bb waiting for his future husband to walk up the aisle. Again, I love how happy Kurt is! How relaxed! He even looks younger in this scene, because, c’mon, when’s the last time he’s been /this/ happy?? (Totally, btw, not the face of someone who doesn’t really want to be up there ;)) Kurt Hummel is getting married - and he is fucking excited about every last ounce of it.

Burt’s Speech = Gay Marriage Good and worth fighting for!! (I’m so glad they legalized it the summer after this was out)

I do like that in Burt’s speech, however, he does mention, again, some sentiments he did back in Love, Love, Love -- marriage is freakin’ hard. But it’s worth it if you keep working at it.

Oh - which probably brings me to another issue people had. All season Kurt keeps reiterating that they’re too young to get married. (And yeah, ngl, they are - and I really didn’t need this in my Klaine story) But two thoughts on this

1 - Kurt was holding on to the too young thing as an excuse for the other issues they were having... yeah, he didn’t want Finchel to get married because they were too young, but also definitely not ready. Kurt’s been through a ton, and at this moment, knows he and Blaine are committed to each other, so why not make it official -- especially since they are gay, and now can get married, it is a big deal.

2. I’ve talked a lot about Klaine being a fairy tale - and, while I don’t believe the story stops once you get married, and also believe Klaine was spiritually married back in Love, Love, Love, their story remains being framed as a fairy tale, and this is the happy ending, so narratively, it does all make sense.

The vows. Yeah, um, okay. So - my biggest issue here is that they’re all spliced together. This speech, kind of, doesn’t work - I mean, Santana says she’s been bullied? Really? They’re trying to tie both narratives together and tie that in with the theme of ‘gay marriage good’ and ug, c’mon. They could have nicely had one couple go and then the other, and it could have been a little more personalized. But whatever.

I will say! I think Kurt has the best lines, though. I love, love that he talks about being someone who always walked in the dark, and that Blaine did not force him into the light, but tore the stuff down that covered the sun. It’s really a beautiful notion - and one that says just how much Kurt loves, appreciates, and wants Blaine in his life. He’s always walked on his path on his own, but he doesn’t want to be alone anymore - Blaine is vital to him, and he always wants Blaine there to help him through.

I also like the sentiment that they’re a work in progress. It’s a nice nod to the fact that it isn’t the end of the story (while it is mostly for Klaine and absolutely for Brittana).

(Also - possibly shallow side note - Chris and Darren are just way better actors than Naya and especially Heather, and putting them side by side is a little jarring, too. Oops.)

Because touch and holding hands has always been a part of their narrative...

Old Marrieds...

Happy Big-Ass Double Gay Wedding!

Was it everything you ever wanted? Meh, no, but I’ve never been a fan of weddings in general - and nothing was gonna be able to top the proposal anyway. This is where the whole double wedding with a theme of social progression got in the way - because I think it stripped both couples (a little) of their own personalized story. But it was fine, and did what it needed to do. And Klaine got their happily ever after.

OTP

Yes, Kurt’s face is how I feel about (most of) the rest of the episode. We could have gotten a nice moment between Blaine and his mom - instead we get a full minute of Brittany’s dad being awkward and weird and unnecessary.

So, then Santana goes into this whole speech about OTPs. Omg... I know some people got uncomfortable with the fourth wall breaking in The Hurt Locker (both parts) but here I get a little squicky. Who uses otp in real life? And Santana has hats, god...

But, that aside, Kurt’s face is loving and happy when Santana mentions that he and Blaine have found each other - and it’s sweet and nice. And... omg, you can tell they’re back together again because to the background my lovely couple -- we’re playing by season 3 rules again!

No, okay my biggest issue -- bigger than the whole they don’t really get a first dance thing - is that they don’t get a moment to reflect -- at all -- about getting married. And this is kind of a trend -- they get together in Original Song, do they really get to reflect on that? Eh.. not really. What about their first time in The First Time?? Nope - they don’t speak about sex again for a long, long time. What about getting engaged??? Eh, not really anything on that -- so I shouldn’t expect anything. But man - it would have been nice if they had one private moment together just so they can have that one private moment together to revel in the fact that they are married and together-together.

(so, now we’re to two scenes this episode is missing for Klaine - shoulda been a two hour long episode...)

Instead of anything meaningful, we’re going to have songs now because we’re contractually obligated at this point to do something in this music-related show. (god, does this episode shoehorn in the music). I am kinda laughing at HeYa, though, cause it’s so, so meta. I’m also incredibly glad there was never a song Called CrissColfer.

Why didn’t Kurt, Blaine or Santana get to dance during this song though? Boo...At least they’re in the background...? Oh wait, they do at the end? And Blaine kinda dances with his mom, while Kurt dances with Carol? I mean, it’s kinda cute, but I’m still rolling my eyes a little.

And then we get more songs! This time the Treble Tones bring up the Moms for - I’m So Excited. I mean, I get it - if you’re gonna have Gloria Estefan on and not have her sing, it’s a bit ridiculous. But, ngl, I’m a little bored by this one. And it’s essentially two in a row (though the unnecessary Tina proposes to Mike plot happens in between). Kurt freaking out over Carole going crazy is kinda cute, but not enough to help the second half of this episode from being bogged down in musical numbers that feel obligatory.

We close out the reception-of-no-plot with Our Day Will Come. I like the little intro, where Kurt gets giddy about calling Blaine his ‘husband’. And it’s a sweet thank you to Brittany and Santana for letting them do the thing. But..

Okay, this is where I would have wanted, maybe... a more romantic song, sung by someone else, so that Klaine could slow dance. That was, like, the one thing I wanted in the second half of the episode, and I didn’t get it. I am a little sad about it. But at least they get to sing and look lovingly at each other?

This song is... fine. I’m surprised they hadn’t done this particular quartet before. It’s got a nice 60′s island beach theme going on. And it’s... again... a gay marriage = good song. It’s not really about Klaine or Brittana, it’s about gay people getting married. And - really, I promise, I am so happy that everyone is now able to get married here in the U.S. I want all the gay rights (and all the rest of the letters, too). But, c’mon, guys, you can sell that without being explicit -- these characters meant enough to enough people that just by them getting married and having a normal and organic way of things, it would have sold your message just fine without having to hit us over the head again with it.

There is a little bit of the lyrics I’d like to pull out though...

Kurt with Blaine: Our dreams have magic Because we'll always stay In love this way

If you’d like to know how the writers think this romance will play out... well, then, there ya go... and the show’s now over, so this is the way they’ll always be in our hearts. :)

The Gender Gentle AnderHummels

So, this is perhaps my favorite scene in the episode, and not just because of Kurt in that Kitten sweater. I think it’s because it’s the only scene in the episode that breathes a little, and allows both couples not to be saddled with the weight of carrying a HUGE MESSAGE of a VERY SPECIAL EPISODE - but about these two couples being themselves. It’s also the only time we really get to see Married Klaine interacting outside the tiny bit we get in the series finale.

Sue’s there to give them their honeymoon packages -- (oh Sue, meddling still in their plans...) And it’s okay that you guys only get a weekend versus Britanna’s month in the Bahamas... Brittana doesn’t get any more screen time, and you guys only get your one episode off. So, there’s that.

But then we get this little tag at the end (complete with season 2 scoring!) where Klaine and Brittana get a moment to themselves. I like that Blaine says that he can’t believe they got married, while Kurt is totally not fazed by that at all, and instead is amazed they survived the reception. (I’m sure the two of them snuck out early)

But then there’s this moment, where Kurt reaches behind him, automatically, for Blaine’s hand and they both look so, so happy. There was a big post going around for a while with intensive meta on it about this single moment, and man, I wish I could remember what it said, because it probably summarized it much better than I can. Beyond the whole hand holding thing -- again, the two are just so comfortable with each other - having found each other, and having made a life long commitment.

And, here’s why I think getting married wasn’t such a bad thing for this narrative. The ring is a symbol. And that somewhat toxic downward cycle the two of them can get into now gets reversed. Blaine is secure in his relationship, and of being loved, as well as being able to be out on his own, not relying on Kurt entirely, and because of that, he doesn’t get clingy or insecure, which in turn gives Kurt the breathing room he needs, and when Kurt is feeling not closed in, he becomes affectionate and open and will continue to reach for Blaine’s hand, and marriage is a reminder (to both) that they have to keep on working because they’ve made the commitment. (This was a horribly worded paragraph, sorry)

But my point is - they are now secure as individuals and secure in their relationship, and while, yes, I needed a few more scenes to flesh out and have the story make full sense, I’m happy to have this last scene that kind of encompasses everything together and puts the nice bow on it. They are both so, so happy and relaxed and in love in this scene, and it’s amazing because of it.

And yes - Brittany will probably call them on their anniversary every year (I kinda love the meta of that -- that Klaine and Brittana are always tied together now), but they’ll probably only see each other once every five-ish years or so. Their lives will go on and they’ll grow up further and away from each other. But, their love is all tied up together, and it’s a happy moment for both couples.

So yeah, that’s the wedding episode! It feels... slightly anticlimactic for as big as the series long story was -- but you know, even with all the scenes I’d have wanted in it, I’m not sure if it’d ever had been fully satisfying. And, you know, it’s true what they say about it being about the journey not just the ending. But, you know, they still got married, and the story still is something we’re talking about, and I still love that it kind of marries the idea of the fairy tale with a real relationship.

And, I’m a little sorry this is the end for Brittana, because it does feel, in a lot of ways, like a penultimate episode. Brittana is now done (which is another reason I think they got the bulk of the episode) but Klaine’s story has room for a little more in the final episodes - and I’m glad they get to have their nice little coda.

#finding kh #kurt hummel

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ferociousqueak · 6 years ago

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Okay, so I watched The Haunting of Hill House and fell in love with it and I want to write about it but I haven’t read the book so I got the audiobook and I have a few thoughts:

Eleanor is my child and I love her. I will protect her with my life. So far, she has:

Had to deal with some Real Bullshit from her sister and brother in law and still stood up for herself, YOU GO BB

Taken what’s rightfully (half) hers, GET IT BB

Dreamed about disappearing into a warm little cottage in the woods where she will live alone with a cat and a garden and people from the village will come to her to have their fortunes told (honestly, MOOD)

Willed a little girl to insist on demanding what she wants (her cup of stars) and not let the world take it from her

ORDERED A DONUT WITH HER COFFEE BECAUSE DAMMIT SHE WANTS A DONUT

Had her first Gay Panic moment when Theodora just walks in the room

Told Theodora that she brings more light into the room than the windows do

Had Theodora touch her face and tell her very earnestly, “Don’t be so afraid all the time”

Realized she doesn’t like to be touched, but she doesn’t mind it when Theodora does it

Had a picnic with Theodora in which they are already laying practically on top of each other and holding hands when a rabbit startles them (they’ve known each other all of maybe an hour at this point?)

Gotten rather tipsy and had the most wholesome internal dialogue—“I am Eleanor and I have red shoes” YOU’RE SO RIGHT BB

Snuggled with Theodora by the fire with her head practically in her lap because Theodora looked slightly grumpy and Eleanor knew she just needed some attention and then they nearly fell asleep like that while Luke and The Doctor played chess

Engaged in some light dirty talk with Theodora while snuggling in front of the fire—“T: I’m sorry I’m so selfish. Tell me how bad I am” “E: You’re horrible <3<3<3″

Woke up the next morning with your run-of-the-mill anxiety spiral and was absolutely sure that everyone hated her because she’d been more open with them than she’d ever been with anybody and surely they were all laughing at her because she’s so simple and how could she ever think people would like her—“Oh, Eleanor! It’s Theodora and I’m taking a bath in our shared bathroom and I’m almost done but I’ve left enough hot water for you, love!”

Expressed worry that if they tried to explore the whole house, she might get left behind—“No one wants to leave you behind, Eleanor. I’m Theodora and I’m your future wife” (okay, I added that second part, but the first part is verbatim and my poor bi heart just exploded)

Gotten just a tad jealous when Theodora offered the hypothetical situation “T: what if I want to meet with Luke for a secret tryst how can he find me in this room” “L: oh, well you just whistle for me” “T: and suppose you don’t hear me I’ll look silly sitting in here whistling—” “E: with nothing to eat *she said almost unkindly*” “T: *looks at Eleanor significantly* yes with nothing to eat” GOD JUST BANG ALREADY

Been generally a useless lesbian with anxiety who thinks the girl who’s practically throwing herself at her is “just being friendly”

Oh, and the whole reason Theodora agrees to this little experiment is because she got in a fight with her “roommate” and they said things that can’t be unsaid and broken the things they made for each other that definitely took a long time and a lot of care to make and so now she’s between living situations

Hugh Crain, the guy who built Hill House, had two daughters. The younger one “stole her sister’s beau” and so the older one got the house as a kind of consolation prize. She lived there alone until she “took a girl from the village” as a kind of “live-in companion.” And the whole village was just like, “Wow, these two are such good friends, living together their entire lives like that. And Miss Craine left her companion the house in her will you say? Real gal pals those two.”

While looking at the silverware, Luke “gestured in a way that would’ve confirmed his aunt’s worst suspicions.” And I know that line was referring his aunt thinking he’d steal the silverware because he’s a thieving reprobate (a belief he finds offensive because he doesn’t steal silverware, he just steals money from his aunt’s purse and cheats at cards, JEEZ GET IT RIGHT), but since everything else in this book is gay af, I’m choosing to read that line as confirmation that everyone in this haunted house is a gay and/or bi disaster.

I’m only about halfway through the book and the doors have started closing themselves, but I’m sure everything is going to be fine. I predict that the conclusion will be Eleanor and Theodora getting married and going back to that warm cottage in the woods with a cat for each of them and an excellent garden and they can be the village hedge witches together. That’s a reasonable prediction, right?

#Shirley Jackson #The Haunting of Hill House #the novel not the show #i really need a ship name for Eleanor Vance and Theodora #Eleadora!#why did no one tell me this book was this gay #it's absolutely delightful and i'm sure nothing will go wrong

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themarvelousspaceorphan · 6 years ago

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X-Men Review: Uncanny X-Men #1

The X-Men #1 Publication Date: Sept. 1963 Stan Lee - Writer Jack Kirby - Drawer Paul Reinman - Inker Sam Rosen - Letterer

And so we start out with the seminal classic that kicks this whole crazy world off -- X-Men #1, which is otherwise titleless btw. Most of my reviews will probably cover arcs and multiple issues - but I felt like kicking it off with the first issue ever.

The thing about Silver Age comics (Marvel and DC comics of the 60s and early-70s) is that they were definitely of a different time. They were campy and silly (usually) stand alone stories that were meant for children ages 8-12. Look - these are not the greatest literature ever known to men. But I mean, they have their charm.

As everyone knows - X-Men was created by legends Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, though X-Men was considered a weak book, and was actually cancelled in 1970 (before being revived some years later). Silver Age X-Men, well, isn’t great. But I’m definitely not the target audience either. Still - there’s some fun things to pull out (most notably Kirby’s crazy villain creations).

The premise is simple - there are five teenagers at a school for the ‘gifted’ run by Professor Charles Xavier. They’re trained to use their gifts to defend humanity against others like themselves. Then, the villain, the ever classic Magneto arrives and plans on destroying the world via nuclear weapons, so the X-Men go to stop him. (It sounds a tad more interesting on paper than actually reading the comic.) It’s kind of the plot of X-Men: The First Class (film) now that I think of it.

It is a fun read from a nostalgia point of view - to see these characters we all know and love at the very beginning - and it helps that we (I) know these characters a bit more, since we can impose their fleshed out layers on rather one-dimensional characters. We’re introduced, right off the bat, to the classic bunch of X-Men:

Professor Charles Xavier

The wheelchair bound telepath that we all know and love (or love to hate). What stands out to me is how the X-Men treat him more like Grandpa X, making sure he’s comfortable in his chair, dropping what they’re doing at a whim. He’s also -- incredibly stern with the X-Men. It’s like Xavier has no sense of humor and it’s all cut and dry, and everything is a demand.

It doesn’t help that Stan Lee ends all of his sentences with ! or !! making everything feel way more dramatic than it needs to be. It’s kind of hilarious like that.

Scott ‘Slim’ Summers - Cyclops

Scott Summers is quiet, reserved, and serious. He’s the team’s leader, though at this point that role isn’t that defined. He’s moody and broody, at this point mostly due to the dangerousness of the energy beams that shoot out of his eyes. Get used to Scott - we’re going to be spending a lot of time with him over the years, but interestingly at this point, he’s the least developed out of all the X-Men in this opening issue.

Warren Worthington III - Angel

Warren Worthington III (It’s not gonna get old to say that - but maybe to write it) is a rich, blond kid who has wings growing out of his back. He’s perhaps the least interesting of the original X-Men cause let’s face it - the only thing he really does his fly and dodge shit. Eventually, he’ll be... charming?

Henry (Hank) McCoy - The Beast

Beast has always been a favorite of mine, a gentle and intelligent creature trapped in a big lug of a body. His powers are his agility and strength. Eventually, he’ll be blue and say ‘oh my stars and garters’ but like pretty much all the characters in this first issue, he’s woefully underdeveloped. In fact, in this first issue - when not wearing a costume, he looks like an older, wider Iceman at times. He’s also the oldest - and the one who’s the most going after Jean Grey (which is kinda hilariously weird.)

Robert Drake - Iceman

Bobby Drake is kind of like a gay Spider-Man. (Believe me - adorable and fun.) Or... he will eventually be. Right now he’s filling that humorous youngster niche, and has the most personality almost by default being the stereotype. Oh, and if you haven’t figured it out - he has ice related powers. He’s at least the most entertaining of the bunch right now, screwing around while the others take Prof X much more seriously. He and Beast seem to go at it (in a playful way) -- their overconfidence getting the best of them. But at least it’s slightly more interesting? Stand out moment - Bobby being less than impressed by the arrival of Jean Gray - while the other boys are all drooling over her.

Jean Grey - Marvel Girl

Jean Grey - Poor Jean, she’s relegated to being the ‘girl’ of the team, and really doesn’t get much to do during the Silver Age. She has telekinetic powers (the telepathy is gonna come later). At first, she’s kind of neat, because she doesn’t take any shit from the boys, and is easily the most powerful person in the room, but then almost immediately she’s pushed back to ‘token girl’, her real power during the 60s - pushing something heavy out of the way, then being so fatigued by it that one of the male members has to jump in and save the day for her. All the guys knocking themselves over to do things for her gets pretty old pretty quick, too.

So after a lengthy introduction process where we see all of their powers we get some plot and an introduction to the classicy classic villain - MAGNETO. And man. Magneto. He sure does know how to chew the scenery. I mean everything is hilariously over the top. Also - we won’t talk about physics because I’m pretty sure Stan Lee didn’t know a lick about actual magnetism.

At least during the big battle that is the second half of the comic, all the X-Men are able to demonstrate their powers, while working as a team, (well mostly - Angel doesn’t have much to contribute because he...flies around and stuff). But that’s another classic aspect of X-Men, having this team, where they work together as an ensemble. It works for me.

And that’s it! That’s the comic - 11 pages of introducing basic characters and 11 pages of Magneto performing magnetism magic while the X-Men take him down. I feel like it should be more exciting than it really is but, I mean, it’s a start of a really fun journey.

#xmen review #uncanny x-men #x-men

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bye-bye-byler · 7 years ago

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what about 40 and 52 for the byler kiss thing

Hella!

40. Hiding/hoping not to be caught kiss52. Accidentally Witnessed kiss

Background: It’s 1987. Mike and Will are 16 and 17 respectively (I think??), both Juniors in high school. Will has a job at a record store (which is very slowly losing business since everyone is buying cassettes because of their durability and portability). The boys have only recently gotten together, and have been keeping it a secret from everyone but Joyce since she was so abundantly accepting and supportive when Will first told her he’s gay. So,,, yeah. Without further ado, I give you Byler!

It’s an agonizingly slow day at Hawkins Vinyl and Will is bored out of his mind. He’s got some scrap paper attached to a clipboard and he’s sketching some random scenery while he stands behind the counter. His neck is beginning to ache from hunching over to get closer to the paper, but he doesn’t mind; he’ll simply rub at it or stretch and roll his head periodically until he’s comfortable enough to resume his position.

Will doesn’t know if he’d rather have a customer walk in or even just a ton of records to stock- just something to keep him busy, but it’s almost 5 PM on a Saturday and people have better things to do than come browse albums in a record store. He also doesn’t know if he prefers it this way, getting hours of peace and quiet so he can be alone and draw. Will is about to start shading some trees when he sees someone park their bike outside the store in his peripheral vision. When the bell above the door rings to indicate someone’s entrance, Will looks up from his drawing to greet who he thinks is a customer, but realizes much to his relief that it’s Mike. Mike marches right over and immediately goes behind the counter to plant a kiss on Will. Will is shocked, as he always is when Mike kisses him anywhere but in the safety of one of their homes. He’s always afraid to get caught. Mike, however, is less afraid.

“Mike,” Will says in a hushed tone after he breaks away, even though there’s no one else around to hear them. “What are you doing here?”“You aren’t glad to see me? I can go if you want.”“What? No, you jackass! I just meant-”“I know, I know, I’m just teasing.”Will truly is glad to see his best friend (and more recently his boyfriend) even though they’d only just hung out yesterday at Mike’s house with Dustin and Lucas. Their two best friends don’t know about their relationship yet, and neither Will nor Mike are sure if they want to come out with it yet. After all, it’s only been three and a half months. They’re practically still just testing the waters, so they’d both rather wait until they’re sure it’s a good time. Even so, the two are still teenagers with raging hormones and intense emotions, so they’re not exactly taking things too terribly slow. They cling to each other and constantly show affection when no one is looking, touching and laughing and kissing and holding hands like any straight couple would. The only difference is that Mike and Will, unlike everyone else, feel like they have to hide it.

“So, What have you been up to?” The taller boy asks eagerly, gesturing to the work in progress on Will’s clipboard before heaving himself up to sit on the counter top just next to the cash register.

Will glances at his handiwork and huffs out a small laugh. “Killing time, waiting for my shift to be over. I really hate being the only one here,” he begins, adding a heavy sigh before continuing. “It always happens on the weekends. I have much more free time than all the adults so I get to hang here all by myself until Brent comes in and takes over. I hate it, Mike. It’s always dead here.”

“Well, yeah, because who wants vinyl anymore? You can’t carry those around and listen to them on a Walkman. Do you know how many record players I saw in garage sales over the summer? There were at least fifteen.” Mike stares at Will’s drawing as he speaks, admiring the attention to detail that Will is known for showing. It doesn’t take too much studying, however, to realize that there’s a faint outline of the shadow monster from years ago looming over the landscape. It looks like Will had just begun to add it in, as the lines are still messy and not very defined. It reminds Mike of the strikingly similar drawing Will made about a week after he’d returned from the Upside Down. Suddenly forgetting whatever he’d just been babbling on about, Mike raises an eyebrow and brings his gaze to meet his boyfriend’s.

“Will?”

The brunet’s small amused smile fades quickly when he sees what Mike had been staring at, but he tries to play stupid in the hopes that Mike will drop it.

“Yeah?”

“Do you…still see him?”

“Do I still see who?”

Mike gives Will a disapproving look that clearly states he’s not buying his bullshit.

“Don’t pull that crap on me, Will. Do you still see him? Is he back?”

Will shrugs and averts his eyes, staring down at his sneakers. “No. He’s not back. I just,” he pauses, considering his words. The air around them is becoming heavy, and Will wants nothing more than to avoid the topic. “I just still think about it from time to time. All the stuff that happened. That’s all, I promise.”

Mike reaches out and grabs hold of Will’s arm, tugging the boy gently towards him. Will lets himself be pulled into a hug, and he’s trying his best not to let the thought that Mike is going to baby him enter his head. Mike knows better. Mike knows he hates being treated like he’s fragile.

Mike clears his throat and pushes Will back so he can press a kiss to his forehead, and already that heaviness in the air is dissipating. Mike knows. And for Will, he’s not going to push anything. “Just don’t forget that I’m the one person you can come to if something happens, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Will’s smile returns once more, and he inclines himself to stand on his toes so he can eagerly kiss those warm, soft lips he likes so much. It’s a quick kiss, ended abruptly when Mike slides back onto his feet and in turn hoists Will up onto the counter, earning him a surprised squeak. Without missing a beat, their mouths crash together again, much less gentle this time, but no less sweet.

Will is totally into it, but his eyes frantically attempt to scope the surrounding perimeter for witnesses nonetheless. There is no one. The room is utterly quiet save for the ticking of the clock on the wall and the soft sounds of their breathing, but still, Will is paranoid. Placing his palms gently on Mike’s shoulders, he pushes the other back just slightly. “Mike-”

“We’re not gonna get caught if that’s what you’re all tense about,” Mike grins smugly, proud of himself for having read Will like an open book.

“I’m not tense!” Will’s cry does nothing to erase the wicked smirk on his boyfriend’s face. He carefully glances around one last time, then turns back to Mike and sticks out his tongue. Then, deciding for once to let his guard down, Will throws caution to the wind and yanks Mike as close as possible to resume kissing him. He allows his eyes to slip shut, trying his hardest not to care who might see them.

One half of Will is thinking about how amazing it feels to have all this adrenaline coursing through him at once, to feel like a badass who doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks as long as he’s with Mike Wheeler.

The other half of Will is a coward who feels weak and vulnerable in putting himself out there like this. The other half wants to pull away yet again, apologize to Mike for being such a baby, and continue their little make out session later in the privacy of Will’s own room.

He forces that second half of him all the way back to the recesses of his mind.

Letting himself get lost in the moment, Will tangles his right hand in curly black locks and scratches gingerly at Mike’s head. His other arm occupies itself by resting lazily over Mike’s left shoulder. Both of Mikes hands are cupping Will’s face, which is growing warmer and redder by the second. Will relaxes into the kiss and they each part their lips ever so slightly, allowing them to slot together perfectly. It’s nice, Will can admit.

But then, just like that, the moment is cut short by the ring of the bell at the door. Will and Mike both turn at lightning speed to face the door, and to Will’s horror, he finds that Brent had decided to show up early for his shift. It’s the first time he’s ever been early. Brent is never early.

Such is Will’s luck, though.

Mike steps away from Will who immediately slips off the counter, face beet red, to greet his manager. He opens his mouth to speak, but before he can get any words out, Brent is already talking.

The man’s eyes are squeezed tightly shut, and his countenance is one of pure distaste. “When I open my eyes, that dark haired boy is not going to be here, and you are not going to speak about anything that just happened if you don’t want to be fired for acting so inappropriately on the job. Right, Will?”

“I, uh- right,” Will manages to choke out through his embarrassment.

Mike takes that as his cue to almost silently dash out the door (that stupid bell dings again, of course), casting Will an apologetic look before grabbing his bike and scrambling out of sight.

Brent opens his eyes again, and Will smiles sheepishly at him, earning him nothing but a very forced smile and a demand to leave for the day.

As Will runs to catch up with his boyfriend, he finds that only a small part of him really would have cared if he’d lost his job, because he loved being with Mike and, well, that place sucks anyway.

A/N: Holy shit I actually finished something??!?! It’s kinda just a tad bit shitty but I don’t mind all that much because I’m honestly just reeling over the fact that I actually finished something for the first time ever. To whoever sent me the ask, I hope you enjoyed this!

#byler #byeler #my shitty writing #this is literally my only finished work #i'll shut up now

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surveys-at-your-service · 7 years ago

Text

Survey #144

“the kingdom of fear needs compliance to succeed.”

Do you live near the ocean? Like about two hours away. Where did you go on your last date? A breakfast place I don't remember the name of. Is the area you live in more liberal or conservative? Conservative. Are you tan? I'm pale as fuck. Your opinion on capital punishment? I'm for it in extreme cases. Generally, are you more likely to blame others or yourself for problems you experience? Uhhh idk? I'd say I'm pretty reasonable with who I blame. What is one thing about your life that you don’t ever see changing, even if you might wish it would? Anxiety to at least some degree, especially socially. At what point in your life have you been the most social or had the most friendships? And at which point have you been the least social? Elementary school, maybe? Least social, now. Have you ever been somewhere and REALLY didn't like a food that you were expected to eat? How did you deal with this? Are you someone who is likely to suck it up and be polite or refuse and save your taste buds? Uh yeah, and it depends on who I'm with. Although I have a VERY hard time hiding if I don't like something. What is something you’ve been particularly grateful for lately? Sara. What kind of change or opportunity would be the biggest help in your life right now? A suitable job. When was the last time you believed there might be something seriously medically wrong with you? What was the ultimate diagnosis? Umm maybe... oh yeah, when my extreme dizziness showed up. Turns out I just have vertigo. What is one illness you are afraid of having? Do you know anyone who has faced this illness? ALZEIMERS. And yes. How do you tend to behave when you’re sick? What kinds of things do you like people to do for you, if anything, to help you feel better? I can be crabby for sure. I also sleep more. I really appreciate people helping me just stay in bed, ex. getting something for me. When was the last time you did something you were proud of? Were other people proud of you as well? Does it matter to you whether or not other people care about your accomplishments, or is your own satisfaction enough? I decided to return to school, and Mom, Sara, Colleen, and my therapist were really proud, at least. And tbh I'm pretty seriously offended if people I actually care about aren't. What is your least favorite thing about the season you’re currently experiencing? Are you okay with most types of weather, or are you only happy under certain conditions? The fucking heat. I'm picky with weather. When was the last time you tried something you’ve never tried before? How likely are you to break from your routine and try new things? I tried blue cheese while out to eat and I actually wanted to die. I really don't try new things a lot. What are some ways your childhood differed from those of others around you? Do you think this difference was harmful or advantageous in the long run? My parents fought way too much, and it was indisputably harmful. When was the last time you did something out in nature? Do you notice a dip in your mood when you don’t get enough of the Great Outdoors? Good question? It's too hot for that shit. To the latter question, no. Do you think people who are fighting should revert to gun duels? Um no? Ever passed noted in class? Do you wish you could do that at work? Yeah, but only if someone else prompted it. I was too afraid of being caught. I don't go to work, so. Are you allergic to anything unusual? If so, what? No. What was the last lengthy packet you filled out? Something for vocational rehab. When was the last time you changed your opinion on a relatively big or serious issue? Overall, do you feel your opinions on things have changed a lot since you were younger or do you still feel the same about many things? What is one opinion you never see yourself changing? Abortion. It didn't entirely change, but I nevertheless had an adjustment to it. My opinions have changed a looot when I was younger. One opinion that will never, ever change is my support of gay rights. Are you good at getting along with other people even if they have vastly different views from yours? When was the last time you had to interact with someone like this, and how did it go? Yup, pretty damn good at that. And Colleen, which goes just fine most of the time. When was the last time you congratulated someone? Were you happy for them, indifferent, jealous? Sara, and of course I was happy. What was the last milestone you reached in your life (graduating, buying a car, starting a family, etc)? What milestone are you going for next, if any? Recovery. Getting a job will probs be the next (believe me, milestone for me). When are you most likely to scream (either out of fright, anger, or whatever)? Do you scream or yell often? When was the last time someone screamed at you (or in your presence)? When I'm in pain. I don't yell often. Don't remember for the last question. Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? No. How many calendars are in your house? Four, but three are mine of meerkats just to collect. What is one song you feel as though you sing particularly well, if any? I dunno. Besides money, what is something you would like to have more of in your life? Social life. How many people have you seen naked (not including family members)? One. Do you own any jerseys? No. Have you ever been in an unconventional relationship (long distance, polyamorous, same gender, age gap, etc)? if so, what challenges did this relationship present, and were they worth overcoming? Long distance same-sex one. The biggest challenge above all is not being able to physically be there if one of us needs help or just want each other's company. The second is homophobia where I live; I didn't worry about it almost at all up there with her, but while she was here, even holding her hand made me a tad bit nervous, only because I'm afraid of me or her being attacked in some way. Now the fear doesn't hold me back from acting like she's my gf, but it's still a concern. Both things though are 100% worth going through. Would you ever consider something like a poly relationship, assuming everyone involved was alright with it? What are some things you think you would or wouldn’t like about it? NOPE. What is the most unhealthy relationship (whether friendship or romantic) you’ve ever had? What made it so unhealthy? Do you still talk to each other? Ummm I dunno. I haven't really had unhealthy ones. Have you ever remained good friends with an ex? Yeah. Do you have an addictive personality? Very. Do you own any snowglobes? No but I want. Will you eat burnt popcorn? Slightly burnt, barely. Have you ever been called a tease? I'm perfectly aware I define that oops. What is your all-time favorite romance movie? The Notebook don't @ me. Name something random in the same room as you: Uhhhh I have this shipwreck light beside my bed that's just for decoration. Came from a flea market and it's seriously cool. It's never on tho. What were the last plans you made? How about cancelled? Colleen and her sister invited me over for a little girl's night. Turned into me being a pussy with strong alcohol and thus becoming the subject of ridicule lmao. It was fun. Cancelled plans, uhhhh. Idk. What was the last big decision you made? Go back to school. What was the subject of your last phone conversation? The iguana I'm getting tOMORROW. Do you like watermelons more or cherries? Not a big fan of either, but watermelon. Have you seen any of the seven wonders of the world in person? Don't even remember them all, but I can pretty much guarantee no.

#survey #quiz #questions

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simptasia · 7 years ago

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Kateclaire and the science squad?

AHH bless you, my faves!! thank you very much!!

kate/claire

when or if I started shipping it:

i honestly don’t remember but i do know that kate/claire didn’t come into my mind during my first watch of the show, it was an afterwards thing. or perhaps… season 6? season 6 made kate/claire shippers of us all, really

my thoughts:

restless, passionate…

my thoughts are, best ship, end game. i genuinely believe they ended up together after the finale (it’s canon they at least LIVE together, raising a son)

i think they love each other, and that people can have multiple soulmates damn it (i don’t care if thats not how it hurts, multiple soulmates!!!). to me, kate really comes across as bi (and i think evie was doing that on purpose, but thats just a theory) and like, claire is bi-who-thought-she-was-straight

Straight Until Kate…. fucking poetry

they’re honestly like, my (non-canon) OTP. and what with LOST lacking lgbta+ diversity, the show would’ve been much stronger if they made ‘em canon bi

buuuut whatever i guess…. we got a lotta handholding. and also the last third of kate’s character arc is dedicated to her (and one could argue, claire was a part of kate’s arc all along) and, i say this all the time but, CLAIRE IS THE REASON KATE WENT BACK TO THAT FUCKING HELL ISLAND. she found the idea of going back to be disgusting and horrible but gosh damn it, claire needed to be rescued. nobody else was gonna do it, apparently. also i’m pretty sure nobody knew is claire was alive or not at this point but kate went back anyways

the completion of kate’s character arc (not running away, accepting responsibility, opening up to the idea of family) is because of claire & aaron!!

also it’s ironic how i imagine claire doesn’t know she’s bi considering she’s the one making the moves. (that starsign scene, the hand holding…)

kate/claire = proactive sunshine femme astrology bi + tomboy hiking butch i’ve never had a job and relationships scare me but i love everyone bi

What makes me happy about them:

that it would take very little adjustment to make them canon

that kate looks 40% butcher anytime she’s near claire (and the inverse, claire looking 40% more femme. she practically glows)

the height difference

kate is so so protective over claire (kate being protective over other women is legit one of my fave things about kate)

a few days into the crash, the first time claire has ever interacted with kate and she correctly guesses that she’s a gemini and that she’s “restless” and “passionate”. A. great observation skills and B. THATS GAY!!!!

THEY’RE LEGIT CANON GONNA RAISE A SON TOGETHER (two sons, if you include my david austen theory)

that they triggered each other’s memories in limbo. that is genuinely one of the best writing decisions ever, like it’s impressive. whoever decided that they would remember together (instead of the expected jack/kate, and charlie/claire - which happens later because MULTIPLE SOULMATES) is a fucking genius. as a writer, audience member and a sapphic, i fucking applaud you

oh and that their connecting scene was the birth of aaron. such an important event to both of them. and it’s kinda foreshadowing at how they’re gonna be mums together

What makes me sad about them:

not canon [sad horn noises]

other than that, very lovely

things done in art/fic that annoys me:

there’s not an abundance of this sorta thing…?

things I look for in art/fic:

FOR IT TO EXIST

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

jack for kate, charlie for claire. of course

My happily ever after for them:

living together, married, raising two boys, honorary aunties to ji yeon, clementine, charlie (hume), dani, izzie & lara. (some of those are OCs!)

claire is an artist for a living (i thinking an illustrator) and i can’t imagine what job kate would or could get. as i’ve said she’s never had a job before… what would she do? gasp… is SHE the housewife? that’s kinda cute. there’s pictures of charlie and jack on the wall, and they are honoured as aaron & david’s fathers and as heroes

kate knows what it’s like to be in a family that doesn’t involve pain and abuse, claire eventually feels safe as the nightmares become less and less. they both have absolute trust in each other which is quite a feat for those two

[happy sigh]

what is their favorite non-sexual activity?

claire likes to paint and draw. kate isn’t much of an artist but claire is encouraging (imagine kate getting blushy over claire’s praise)

listening/singing to music together

claire encourages kate to take up yoga. it’s relaxing. takes a bit to get used to it tho because kate is restless (more of a rock climbing kinda gal)

yeah basically i imagine they do a lot of exercise-y things together

i was gonna say camping too but claire probably never wants to see trees and tents ever again… so avoid that

daniel/charlotte/miles

when or if I started shipping it

the earliest sci team shippy post i made, that i could find, is like from 2013. so maybe during my first watch? or shortly after. somewhere there

my thoughts:

okay so i’ve thought about this and i’ve realised that sci trio shipping is beloved as a concept, especially by me. whilst in canon, this supposed team doesn’t do a lot of teaming. basically my imagination has built them up to be more than what they actually are. and not just in a romantic way. they’re more friends in my head than in the actual show. it’s a tad disappointing actually. see, in the show the science team (the whole thing) is barely a thing. they drop out the sky, the show tries to convince they’re untrustworthy, and then sorta forgets they’re meant to be like colleagues and friends? or at least doesn’t pay attention to that

(miles is given no reactions to char and dan’s deaths. which is FUCKED. i blame writing and direction because no fucking way is this ken leung’s fault. i also blame time constraints which is the biggest reason for lack of sci team stuff)

the dynamic most focused on is dan and charlotte (ah, love..). so throwing miles in there is wishful thinking (i love miles) on my part. because interactions between dan/miles and miles/char in canon? little and none, in that order

but the IDEA is nice

i’m in love with IDEA of these things:

two nerds and a “jeez these nerds” guy (like he isn’t a ghostbusters fan)

a polite timid nerd, a loud passionate nerd and a snarky sardonic cynic

two sciences and a magic

miles being annoyed by, slightly jealous of and wanting in on dan/char

sweet dan in love with people with “bad attitudes” (his words. translation: okay i love you but you’re being bitchy right now and it’s not helping)

char getting the best of both worlds, in my opinion (sugar and salt)

children of the island OT3

being smooshed between people whom look like rebecca mader and ken leung is honestly the best situation you can be in. godspeed dan

and basically i use their personalities (or exaggerated versions of such. espech with charlotte) to project this relationship upon them

TL;DR: barely any sci team interactions in canon, but i adore the ship anyways

What makes me happy about them:

oh shit i make that list up there too early

in general, it feels good? and like theres a lot i can do with it. like i’ve said, i love the concept of their dynamic. like, putting these personalities together is fun!

also

miles uses his powers and dan is immediately on board which means either miles told him on the boat or dan just takes miles at his word without hesitation. both are very plausible and also great

oh and my gosh, my fave thing? these people had possibly months on a boat together off screen. we didn’t get like, any sci team content on screen but thank you for that fanfic/imagination fuel, writers

none of them moved on in the finale which gives me a place to ship them… so basically they’re only shippable outside of the island… huh

char and miles were friends in limbo (thank heavens for small miracles) and thats a great concept. and it also means with char meeting dan in the finale, the TRIANGLE IS COMPLETE. THEY MAY NOW JOIN

that thing dan does where he touches/pets everybody near him? yeah, does that with miles, which isn’t remarkable. miles, like char, doesn’t seem to mind or flinch. which is interesting cuz you’d think miles would react to that. true none of the characters react to dan’s petting (???how) but idc

dan rans to char, pets her hair, face and arms and asks if she’s alright. miles, who is standing near by, says “i’m okay, too”. that sounds like something i would write for them but that actually happened in the show

i like the idea that dan/char (and later sawyer/juliet) make miles reluctantly realise he does want love in his life, which leads to miles/richard one day. this has nothing to do with anything in the show. legit all of that sentence is based on headcanons. and thats a summary of shipping dan/char/miles

uhm… they’re fucking pretty

i’ve slowly made them more and more kinky over time. that makes me happy. it’s also funny

the fact that dan is the tallest of the three and he’s 5 foot 9

i’m certain they’ve all dealt with ableism in their lives. i just like things in common, espech angst things

everything. everything makes me happy about them. even the sad stuff

What makes me sad about them:

tho again, i wish the show remembered these people are friends

on that note, two of miles friend’s died. the show didn’t show him caring but i of course imagine he did. miles has walls but he’s not a cunt

all of ‘em had a fucked up thing happen with a parent (wait no, that’s not an OT3 thing, that’s just a lost is like that thing. anyways, sad)

i have this headcanon that miles is cynical about love (and relationships and romance) cuz like, due to his powers, he grew up with this fucked up perception of death. and throughout he’s seen people absolutely devastated about losing a loved one. this includes dan losing char, sawyer losing jules, and miles himself losing his mum. basically love hurts and he’s decided that pain isn’t worth the temporary amount of happiness. i imagine miles’ bad attitude towards life is caused by this way of thinking. we’re all gonna die, so why bother? only possessions stay so $$$$

….and there’s my miles meta, wow

things done in art/fic that annoys me:

now, sci team content is like, none but i’ve noticed a trend among fandom… their personalities being flanderized a tad too much. and yeah i do that too but i mean

dan being innocent, naive and humourless. we have no reason to assume the first two and fuck no he is humourless. dan has funny lines, he’s just subtle. innocent and naive? maybe kinda. i personally portray dan as innocent and naive in COMPARISON to char & miles (and most other characters). like, the vanilla to their kinky. but again, just by comparison. he’s not totally oblivious. plus he’s a quick learner and can pick up context. i know this all comes from him being so nonthreatening (also it’s a symptom of woobifying. and is also very mildly ableist in this context)

char being a constantly angry shrill bitch. i’m most annoyed by this one. i have some words about this. yes, a couple of times char got angry/bitchy. and it stuck out to people because she’s a woman. as somebody who has analysed like, every moment she’s been on screen, lemme tell you: she is not constantly angry. in fact, when i needed a cap of her looking angry for an art thing, IT WAS GENUINELY HARD TO FIND ONE. char is also very nice to the survivors until they start being mean to her. also she got shot in the chest, i’d be annoyed too. but the most part, char is actually rather pleasant. she’s just… loud. and has a bit of temper. but most of her screentime is with dan, so for the most part she’s soft and sweet with him. because love. i’m annoyed by all this because to this day, within fandom, char is remembered as the angry bitch who died of nosebleeds. fuck y’all, she’s a passionate, polyglottal, determined nerd with a shorter than average fuse and whom loves daniel faraday and chocolate. i know she didn’t get a lot as a character but being remembered for a trait that doesn’t even describe her doesn’t help. like, yeah, my section of the fandom has her be a chocolate obsessed mega trekkie who’s super kinky. is it self-indulgent? fuck yeah (and im proud) but it’s better than seeing her as a constant bitch because she got justifiably angry a few times

ahem anyways

miles as a constant deadpan snarker. okay i see where this comes from, my brain does it too, but miles is not daria. he has tones and inflections. when he isn’t resting grump face, he’s quite emotive. also he has feelings. inside he is very sad. also he cares about his friends. basically he’s not always deadpan. most importantly, miles is an asshole. yes. but he’s not an ASSHOLE. you get me? like, he’s a snarky dick to people but he’s not actually genuinely a bad mean person. this is kinda the point of his character. like his snark is a defense mechanism for his issues. miles would never be an actual (and ableist) cunt to say, hurley or dan. he just has issues connecting with people due to his powers and internal conflict

basically:

dan isn’t a delicate perfect flower of innocence, char isn’t angry all of the time and being a bitch isn’t her entire character, and miles is actually (eventually) a good person who cares and emotes. i’ve seen ken’s face do things, ya know

things I look for in art/fic:

any art and fic of them existing would be nice (points at my icon)

and in fic, as with anything, i’d like it to be in character. and like, boat times, limbo times, it’s all good. have it anyways. also i’ve found like zero fic

there used to be loads of lost fics, but most of ‘em were purged in 2010

[the saddest violin]

• Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

miles/richard is another pairing i love, and thats how i imagine miles lives his life

• My happily ever after for them:

they all live together in limbo land, in dan’s penthouse. basically 80% of my sci team imagination center (the part of my brain specifically dedicated to the science team) is spent in that house. a great dymantic and lots of sex ensues

also piano. also rats. also char has a cat named jean-luc. it hates miles

fuck, i just realised between dan being a musician/sort of scientist, char being an anthropologist and miles being a detective, that penthouse is gonna be FULL of stacks of paper laying around… the sci team personally killed the rainforest

• what is their favorite non-sexual activity?

PLAY US A SONG YOU’RE THE PIANO MAN

watching tv together

i’ve pictured ‘em doing most domestic activities… right now i keep imagining them eating breakfast together in their underwear

showers

dan likes to draw on his lover’s bodies (music notes, equations, cute little pics of rats. miles says dan’d make a decent tattoo artist)

and holy shit get dan and char going, they can talk for hours. and miles can just sorta follow it (and throw in quips) but he loves ‘em anyways

#lost headcanons #sapphicartsandwriting #i went on for like.... 5 years #ahah almost literally #i mean i wrote a lot #like a lot #theres good meta here

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snake-house · 8 years ago

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Harry Potter X Male!Reader X Draco Malfoy - war.

Harry Potter X Male!Hufflepuff!Reader X Draco Malfoy

warnings: few gay slurs

*like au-ish because i don't really address anything important from the cannon plot haha

**reader is a transfer student from Ilvermorny and is a muggle-born

***reader + draco and harry are in 3rd year

and seriously way longer that anticipated ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

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requested by the lovely

denchandrawsstuff

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"Now... to our new students, welcome, to our old students, welcome back! Another year full of magical education awaits you; it will be very much the same and somewhat different than it's always been. Now, there is some news that needs to be addressed before the sorting ceremony commences!" Dumbledore smiled down at all the bight-faces of the new and old students, "There will be a special student joining our third years this year! This young man will be sorted with the other first years, but will of course be starting his third year with us." You blushed when you noticed the Headmaster wave you over from where you were slightly cowering at all the attention brought to you from your place besides Professor Mcgonagall.

"This is [Full Name], please welcome him and make him feel at home here at Hogwarts," You kept your head slightly bowed, not being able to look at all the curious eyes on you, and made your way to where the first years were lined up to be sorted. Again your face was burning as your name was called to sit on the stool, placing your hands in your lap as the sorting hat was placed upon your head. 'Ah,' The voice of the sorting hat started once it covered your eyes, 'Yes, you are the transfer, are you not? Quite the curious case you are... Rather average student, are you? But never the less, you are to be sorted. Where do you suppose you'll go? Ravenclaw would do you justice, they would help you strive to do whatever you wish, no? Oh, I see, not as driven as you could be. But, there is a place here that will make you feel at home, a place where you will truly soar in.' 'Yes!' You jumped at the sudden cry from the sorting hat, "HUFFLEPUFF!" There was a great cheer from the Hufflepuff table as the hat was lifted from you and your eyes meet the vibrant glow from the candles that floated above. You smiled, it was hesitant and shy, but that is expected of someone who was entering a school as late as you were. You were welcomed with claps on the back and pure happiness radiated from your new house as you sat down with them. They over the moon for having you in their house. This was going to be your family for the next few years. "[Name]!" Just as the last first year was placed into their house, a boy called from a few seats down from where you sat between two first years. You spotted the boy trying to get your attention, realizing they were probably in your year and smiled at him, "I'm Ernest Macmillian, but you can call me Ernie, I'm in your year," You felt your shyness creep away from your being at his happy attitude, "I was told to tell you that you will be coming with me after you and the first years are shown the castle and your dorms. Even though you will be grouped with the first years today, your will still be bunking with us third years." "Thank you," You said loudly above the lively chatter in the hall. "Don't worry about it, we all want to make you feel at home!" Again you smiled and nodded at the boy, going back to your food before you all had to leave to be shown your dorms. You decided you liked your new house then. It was easy to chat with the first years you were seated with, seeing they all were as nervous as you were for your first days at Hogwarts. Though you knew you were welcomed here, you couldn't help but feel very out of place at the moment because of your late arrival to the school. You just hoped you would become more comfortable in time. -- The first week of school went by a lot better than you anticipated. Thankfully, you did find yourself more and more comfortable within your house and with your house-mates. You shared a dorm with Ernie, Justin, and another boy named Zacharias. They were all nice enough, but you found yourself more comfortable with Ernie of course, and Zach creeped you out sightly. Ernie was the first one to talk to you and show you kindness and a friendship when you arrived, it was obvious the two of you would be friends. But, in your classes that were shared with the other houses, you were still a tad bit shy and quiet. "What do you think about the new kid?" Ron asked as they made their way from herbology, "He seems rather skittish, doesn't he?" "Well it doesn't help everyone is treating him like some exotic pet because he's from a different country," Hermione piped up. "Hermione's right," Harry started, "But, I think he's..." His eyes trailed to your form just a few feet ahead of the trio, chatting easily with Neville, seeing as you both seemed to hit it off as soon as you realized you were just as interested in herbology as the Gryffindor was, "He seems nice?" He said quickly as he realized his eyes were staring at the place where your robes covered your arse. Hermione grinned behind her hand, catching Harry in the act, "I think he seems nice too, and he's rather cute, isn't he?" "You think he's cute?" Ron drawled, "I would saw he was average." Hermione simply sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes, Ronald, he is," The brunette said matter-of-factly, "Don't you think so too, Harry?" Hermione knew she wasn't exposing that she knew where Harry's thirteen-year-old mind was going, but he did come out to them as bisexual last year and has yet to move forward with any romantic relationship or interest. Harry blushed, "I-I guess he is," He said quietly. "See, even Harry thinks so." She stated confidently with a girin "It's good to see he seems to be more comfortable here though," Harry added offhandedly, "He is chatting with Neville, so that's a start. I've only ever found him talking with Ernie or Justin." "That is true, I'm glad as well. Everyone should feel welcomed here." Hermione said with a smile, "I've got to go grab something from my room before lunch, so I will see you two later." The girl said before taking off in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. Once Harry and Ron were seated at their house table and started eating, Ron started fidgeting. "Come on mate," Harry said with a sigh, "Spit it out, I know your bursting with something to say, so just say it." Ron sighed as well, "Do you really think he's cute? [Name]?" Harry glanced around to make sure you weren't near them, and seeing you have yet to make it to lunch he replied, "Yeah, he's cute, like really cute," He smiled to himself, "I-I don't just mean physically, even though he is, but everything about him seems cute. Have you seen the way he is in class? Did you see how excited he got when Professor Sprout said we would be learning about venomous plants today? He was ecstatic! I thought it was cute." Ron was giving Harry a deadpan look, "Are you serious Harry? You sound like you've already got a crush on the guy," He paused, "Do you?" Harry simply shrugged, "Have you heard why he transferred?" He asked curiously. "No, something about his parents' jobs, but I don't know the specifics." Ron replied, shoving Harry off to the side, "If you want to know, go ask him yourself." Harry shook his head, terrified by the suggestion. -- Draco didn't know what to do about your sudden presence in some of his classes. He owled his parents, asking if they knew anything about you, but all he got in response was the fact you were a muggle-born. His father also warned him not to get close to you because of the fact. Draco completely disregarded that part of the letter. "Hey." Thinking that the greeting wasn't for you, you kept on walking out of the dungeons, having just come from your potions class. You were still running potions ingredients in your head, and to put it simply, your head was starting to ache. Suddenly, there was a hand on your waist that pulled you into a dark alcove at the entrance to the dungeons. "Excuse me-" A startled squeak escaped your that as you were shoved up against the wall. Draco Malfoy had you pressed against the far wall of the alcove, caging you in by placing one of his hands on the wall beside your head. You only knew it was Draco because he had introduced himself in the first class you shared together, which was history of magic on the first official day of school. You were at a loss of words, unsure of you should scream for help, or blush from embarrassment. Your cheeks made the decision for you you as they quickly filled with heat.

"I was trying to get your attention," He said lowly, "But, you weren't paying attention and thus I had to pull you away to talk to you." "I have to get to defense-" You rushed out only to be cut off again by Draco's hand suddenly at your waist again and your face flushed an even deeper red. His face was so close to yours, and his icy blue stare cut through to your core. He might have only been an inch or so taller than you, but he made you feel so small by one look. "I know you have to get to class, so cooperate or else you'll be late." Draco warned, the deadly tone in the thirteen-year-old's voice made you nod your head rapidly. Draco nodded as well, "Good. Now, I'm going to take you on a date during our first Hogsmeade weekend, understood?" You weren't sure why he was asking you, but you knew you couldn't say no. Plus, you would admit he was cute, so it wasn't like you were going to say no anyways. He could have found a better way to ask you rather than kidnapping you. "I would have expected more from someone who holds their nose that far in the air," You mumbled as you averted your wide-eyes as soon as you realized what you said, "I'm sor-" The hand that was on your waist suddenly slipped behind you to grab your arse and pull you flush against him, making you gasp at the sudden action. "Don't mock me," He warned, "I'll meet you in the Great Hall at ten in the morning when the times comes, be there." "I will," You whispered. He smirked, and suddenly it wasn't just your cheeks that felt warm, "Good," His grin widened at your meek state, "By the way, you've got a nice arse [Name]." "I-I-" You sputtered now squirming in his hold. As soon as he removed your body from yours, you dashed out of the alcove in a hurry, almost knocking into a Ravenclaw on your way out. With a rushed apology, you headed off to your DADA class without a sparing glance at the blond who gracefully walked off to his own class. -- "You're the new kid, aren't you?" A voice said from behind you. That was something you've heard so often in the past few weeks, now two months, you didn't even turn away from the book you were reading, "Yes." There was a laugh, and then the chair beside you was pulled out. So much for a quiet Thursday afternoon reading in the library, "I'm Harry Potter, I just wanted to introduce myself since I've been meaning too after herbology, but you always leave so soon, I haven't been able to." You looked up as soon as he introduced yourself, startled that Harry Potter wished to personally introduce himself to you. Even though English politics weren't really talked about back in the states, it didn't mean you didn't know about the boy who defeated a dark lord as a baby. You shook his outstretched hand hesitantly, "It's nice to meet you, I'm [Full Name], but you probably know that... It seems everyone is talking about me..." You mumbled, taking your hand away as soon as he let it go. "Likewise," He glanced at the book in your hands, "What are you reading?" "Uh, it's a book our Professor Lupin said that would be good to read to prepare for the rest of the course. I need all the help in trying to get ahead because it's not one of my strong subjects," You explained. "You know, I'm at the top of the class in defense, so if you never need help I would be more than happy to tutor you." Harry said with a grin. "Would you really?" You asked hesitantly as you met his eyes, "I don't want to be a burden." "You wouldn't!" He said immediately and blushed at how eager he sounded, maybe Ron was right in the fact he may be developing a crush on you, but smiled widely as his reaction made a laugh escape from you, "I offered, didn't I? Like I said, I would be more than happy to help you. Just if you feel like you need to take me up on my offer, just find me and I'll help." "Thank you." "No problem," You yourself started to heat up at the fact he was still watching you and still not leaving. Harry coughed and wiped his sweaty palms discreetly on the tops of his thighs, "I-I guess I'll see you around [Name], I just wanted to introduce myself and say hi, so I'll be on my way," Harry stated awkwardly and left you to your reading. His walk back to Gryffindor Tower was a hurried and embarrassed one, because he didn't just so happen to be in the library when he spotted you, he had sought you out deliberately, he cursed himself for making a fool of himself by saying something so awkward as he left. -- Draco was silently seething as you conversed a few feet away with Harry and his other noble Gryffindor friends. You all seemed to just be talking as friends do, seeing there were no quills or inkwells or textbooks out as you all sat out by the Black Lake, but that was beside the point. Why did you have to look so happy next to him. Harry's eyes never seemed to leave you, and it was quite frankly pissing Draco off. "I don't understand why you're so upset with the little Hufflepuff and Saint Potter over there. If he wants to get into the pants of the mudblood, just let him." Pansy said as she sat beside the blond. "DON'T call him that," Draco threatened, "I'm upset because he's blushing at what Potter is saying and that pisses me off." "You went on one date with him, it's not like you two are a thing even though you think you are," Blaise pointed out. "Shut up," Draco spat, "I don't care, I still went on a date with him, what does Potter give him that I can't? He's aways around that Hufflepuff or the band of Gryffindors anyways, it's not like I can ask him on another." "Ah, so you wish to corner your prey before you claim him?" Pansy said with a smirk. Draco huffed, "No, I just want to talk to him without anyone giving him false pretenses about me." "You better get on it then," Blaise cut in again, "Because Potter just walked off with him." "It doesn't matter," Draco said even though his anger was evident as he watched the two of you walk off, "It's not like Potter can take him on a date, he's not allowed to leave the school." - - "Here's your herbology notes, thanks for letting me borrow them," Harry said sheepishly as he handed you a small stack of parchment, "Are you serious that those drawings and diagrams were all done by you?" You smiled sheepishly at his comment and nodded, "I used to be apart of an art club at my old school. A seventh year taught me everything. Do you like them?" "Of course! They're bloody brilliant! It's like looking at a black and white photograph of those plants," Harry beamed, making you stutter and melt under his praise, "You should look into wizarding art, like pictures that move. You'd be amazing at it." "Do you think so?" "I know so," Harry grinned, and looked up when he noticed his friends coming up from the Black lake. While you all were chatting, you mentioned you needed your notes back from the Gryffindor to start on your essay, and thus why you left them early. Hermione stopped when she noticed the two of you talking and quickly ushered Ron and Ginny away from them and shot Harry a look that made him blush. "He-Hey [Name]," Harry said suddenly, making you tilt your head to the side to show him that you were listening. He cleared his throat and stuck his hands inside his robe pockets, "I know I can't go out on Hogsmeade weekends for a reason, I've accepted that, but- uh- I know you went on that date with Malfoy, but, uh I want to try to get you to be my boyfriend too, even though I can't take you on dates." You were frozen in shock at his words. For one thing, you thought no body knew about that date, and secondly, you didn't know what to make of Harry Potter asking you to be his boyfriend. A fiery blush surfaced to your cheeks, "I-I don't know what to say," You stuttered, shying away from the wizard in effort to conceal your embarrassment. "You don't have to say yes!" Harry blurted suddenly, "I am perfectly fine with just being your friend! I love being your friend, but I just wanted you to know that I really like you and Hermione has been pestering me to tell you for the longest time, and-and I would also be totally fine if you never wanted to see me again because I just can't seem to stop my mouth from running. Yeah, well I will be going now!" Harry rushed out, now his face seemed to be even redder than your own. And without giving you time to respond, the raven-haired wizard ran away, leaving you alone in the hallway. Once you regained your senses, and everything that just happened digested, you figured you could tell him later what you were going to say. Because right now, you felt like running away too. -- "So," Zacharias started, catching you off guard with how intense you were studying for an essay you had to write, it was one way to get your mind off Harry, "Are there any girls who have caught you eye yet? You said you went to Ilvermorny too, right? Did you have a girlfriend?" It didn't surprise you that it was Zach who brought up this question, but because of recent events you were startled by the question, "Uh, no. Not really. I have never had a girlfriend," You stated plainly, ignoring the blush that was surfacing, "I'm-uh, I'm gay, so. I've never had a boyfriend either." Your statement was met with silence. "No way!" Zach said with a bubbling laugh that didn't stop until Ernie told him to shut up, "I'm sorry, it just makes so much sense now." You cocked your head to the side in questioning, "What do you mean?" "Did you really go on a date with Malfoy during that Hogsmeade weekend two weeks ago?" Zach asked quickly, grinning. A fiery blush overtook your face, you didn't think anyone knew about that! It was Harry and now Zacharias? "U-Uh Y-Yeah, I did, but that was it..." You mumbled, stuffing your nose into your herbology textbook to try to hide from them. "I owe Padma five galleons..." Justin groaned, smacking his face into his hand. "What?!" You said startled. "She said she saw you and Malfoy, and then apparently the two of you kissed," You flushed, "And I didn't believe her." You flushed, "We-We didn't kiss..." You whispered as a flash of the date came to mind. - It surprised you how much you actually were enjoying yourself. Draco happily led you around from shop to shop, seeing as it was your first time in Hogsmeade. Another surprise was how less arrogant the boy was when away from the peering eyes of your school mates and teachers. He smiled more freely, engaged you in actual conversation rather than him sticking his nose in the air and shoving his superiority on you. He was attractive when he wasn't worried about his family name or image. But, of course, you still stayed wary of him, just because of the rumors you've heard about him and so on. You needed to keep your walls up to save yourself. "You really don't need to buy me that stuff..." You said quietly, trying to stop Draco on his quest to the check out counter. In his hands he held a few sweets he wanted you to try, saying they didn't have them in America, as well as an enchanted quill that never runs out of ink. He told you he hated seeing you write with 'filthy muggle pencils'. You then reminded him your parents were muggles and he apologized, but still said he didn't like pencils. "Nonsense," He stated, already paying for the items, "I do what I want, and I want to buy you things." You mumbled something under your breath that Draco didn't hear, something about 'rich kids' and 'throwing their money away'. You were fine with your pencils. On your way back to Hogwarts, Draco stopped you suddenly and pulled you off the road into the the shadows of the trees. You felt a blush rising to your cheeks at how close he pulled you to him. "Let me kiss you," He said in a demanding voice, making your blush feel like it was melting your face, grabbing your hand and yanking you towards him. "I don't know..." You said looking away from him. He sighed, "Please?" It felt weird having him asking for something such as a kiss, it felt far too intimate than what you were used to, and even though you weren't looking at him, you felt him staring at you, and you flushed harder, and you caved, "I-I guess," You mumbled, "But only a quick one." With a triumphant smirk, he grabbed your chin between his forefinger and thumb to make you look at him. And he kissed you. It was barely more than a peck, but you locked lips with the blond, and you have officially had your first kiss. And just as soon as his lips were on yours, they left. Just like you asked. "I expect you to come with me again during our next Hogsmeade weekend," Draco said after the two of you headed back to the castle. You shrugged, which ultimately said in Draco's eyes that you were agreeing. You were too shocked to try to say no. -- You were tuned out of your flashback at a boisterous laugh, and you resumed your embarrassed state and tried to string back against the headboard of your bed in effort to be as small as you could. "You two did kiss! Zach said with a laugh, "Wow, I didn't think I would be rooming with a poof, but since I like you, I'm alright with it." "What's a poof?" You blurted, gaining another round of laughter. Ernie gave you a sad smile, "Uh, it's a slur for a gay male..." "Oh," You whispered, suddenly hurt by his statement, "Alright. Uh, I have to go get a book from the library real quick." You stood from your bed completely forgetting about your essay and dashed from the room. As the door shut, you heard Ernie chastising Zach for making you feel bad. In record timing, you were secluded in a dark corner of the library sitting with your knees to your chest as you willed yourself not to cry. That was the exact reason why you didn't openly tell people you were interested in guys, was because of the slurs and hateful names sent you way when you were outed at your old school. The only thing you had going for you was the fact British slurs didn't sound as harsh as 'faggot' did. "[Name]? Is that you?" A familiar voice asked. Instead of looking up at the voice, you tightened your arms around your knees and buried your head in them in effort to will Draco away from where you sat. There was a sigh, and the chair next to yours moved as the blond sat down beside you. "I'm assuming," He started, "by the fact you seem to be wearing your sleep wear that you didn't actually mean to come to the library?" You were mortified when he made you realized you were in your pajamas. All your pjs consisted of was an old tee-shirt, this one had a mickey mouse face on it, and an old pair of shorts that were now too short for you and came well above your knees. "I meant to come here," You stated, but not confidently enough to convince Draco. "What happened?" He asked simply, tugging at your arm to get you to look at him. You didn't say anything as you looked up at him slowly, "Just a poor choice of words," you stated, "Zacharias called me a poof for going out with you and kissing you," You mumbled. You saw the anger corse through Draco after he heard what you said, "Don't say anything to him! Ernie gave him an earful as I just ran away like a coward." Draco hummed at your words, still debating of whether or not he should do something about Zacharias. Maybe he could set Crabbe and Goyle on him. That was a thought. "I don't think you're a coward," He said simply, "Though I promise I won't do anything about this, I won't say I won't mention it to your head of house." You shook your head again, grabbing his hands and pulling them to your chest, "Please don't say anything! I don't want to draw attention to myself anymore than I already do. Please Draco." He pursed his lips at you and furrowed his brows, "Maybe, I make no promises. Anyways, curfew is almost up and we need to get back to our common rooms. Do you want me to walk you to yours?" He asked, using the fact you were holing his hands to make you stand up with him. You bit your lip and looked away as you nodded. And with that, he led you from the library and towards your common room. "I saw Potter ask you out earlier," Draco said, changing the topic. You flushed at his words, "Y-Yeah he did... what about it?" You tried to stay nonchalant about it, but it was failing. It was obvious that there was something more to you and how you reacted. "You have to say no." "What?" You squared, stopping, "Why? You don't have a say in that," You argued suddenly. All the sadness and pain you felt from the previous situation was gone and replaced with confusion and anger that he would have the audacity to make decisions for you. "Because I don't want you to, and it would better if you were my boyfriend than his." Draco scoffed. You pursed your lips and crossed your arms, "As if. It's not your choice, plus what about your father? From what I've heard around school about your family- wouldn't it be a bad thing to be dating a mudblood like me?" You hissed, taking off in a swift stride towards your common room. Draco stood stunned at your words. He didn't think he would ever get used to how easy you found it to stand up against him. All he wanted to do was to get you to submit to him. "It doesn't matter what my father says, it's my choice who I date anyways." Draco said as he came up from behind, "What would I have to do to get you to date me and not Potter?" With a pause, you kept your back to him. The barrels that hid the entrance to your common room were only a few feet away, "You think you can bribe my affection? Well- you can't. I liked you better when you were normal on our date, when you acted like the thirteen year old you are, not this stuck up pureblood. I like you. But," You started blushing again, "I also like Harry, no matter what you think or say. But I won't have the two of you have some peacock fest over me." Without saying any more, and without looking back at him to see his reaction, you quickly tapped the barrels and made your way into your common room. Draco stood in shock even after you left him in the silent hallway. His heart fluttered at the fact you admitted to liking him, but there was still a twist of anger at the fact you also liked Potter. Something that had to be done about that. There was no way he was going to fight Potter for you, no not at all. -- The weeks that followed your confrontation with Draco were many, and during those weeks, you only spoke to him as an acquaintance. You decided to stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas holidays. Sure you missed your parents, but you never really enjoyed going home for the breaks back home. Since they were muggles, you could never get excited over your classes as you could with your friends here. And during that holiday, you let Harry take you on a 'date', which consisted of a picnic in one of the empty classrooms. But the class room was transformed from dust ridden place into a sweet outing that consisted of a posh table and two chairs and candles, the whole nine yards. Harry said Hermione helped with setting everything and said she did most of the work, but that didn't matter to you. It was a sweet gesture just for you that warmed your heart. "Uh," You started on the last day of winter break as you sat next to Harry on top of the Astronomy tower, watching the snow fall, "Draco also asked me to be his boyfriend." Harry tensed for a moment, but nodded, "Yeah... I kind of figured he would." "I like him," Harry paled at your words, so you quickly added, "But I like you too! And I don't want you two to fight over me just because I won't be able to make up my mind." You mumbled, "He's arrogant and expects things when he doesn't deserve them, but during that Hogsmeade weekend he was surprisingly sweet and kind. It was weird and I liked him like that. But then there's you who from the start has been nothing but a sweetheart and made me feel important. I hope you won't hate me for not choosing." Harry nodded along to your little explanation and completely understood what you were saying. "I could never hate you [Name], you should know that," He smiled, nudging you shoulder, "But it will be hard not to fight for you, because I really like you." You giggled and blushed, "I just wished I could have both of you, you know? Or if there was two of me. Then it wouldn't be an issue, but that's not possible." It was Harry's turn to blush, "What do you mean it's not possible?" He murmured. "Because you and Draco hate each other, even to the point of calling the other your arch enemy and what not." You stated matter-of-factly. "Oh, right," Harry nodded, "But I make no promises, and I know Malfoy won't stop until he gets what he wants, even if it's a person. I will fight for you, because you're amazing and I want you all to myself." He puffed out his chest which honestly was adorable, considering he was shorter than you. "I-I guess... But don't hurt him and I'll tell him not to hurt you. That's my only rule, ok?" "Agreed." Little did you know by making that one rule, the rest of that year wasn't hell, it was some bizarre parallel world you fell into as both Draco and Harry tried to win you over. You just hoped you wouldn't have to move again for a while, because you still had four more years of schooling to go through with this. That is unless you make you choice before you graduate.

#Harry Potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #Draco Malfoy #draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #x reader #male reader #x male reader insert #x male reader

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