#Shares a Love of Books {Nesta and Gwyn}

[silverflameataraxia]

I love how Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie share their past traumas with each other during the Blood Rite, letting each other see the broken pieces of them.

What I hate is that Nesta summarizes her trauma as drinking, sleeping around, and becoming a wretch. In Nesta's own book, she never tells a single soul of the physical and emotional abuse she endured at the hands of her grandmamma. She never tells anyone about Tomas attempting to rape her, or about being sexually assaulted by the kelpie. She barely talks about the torture inside the Cauldron as she was turned High Fae. She never tells anyone of her terror of bathtubs afterward, or how she overcame that trauma on her own. She barely mentions her discomfort around fires, but yet it was still a trauma she overcame on her own.

Nesta has endured so much trauma since childhood, but all her book talks about is the people she's failed. What about those who have failed her?

[yazthebookish]

Maybe I'll spoil you guys and talk about Gwynriel and ACOTAR5 and anything related to it overall. I recently finished my HOFAS reread and have some fresh thoughts. I'll let my thoughts guide me and some of these points I've already addressed in my insta stories yesterday. I just rather share a lengthy post here since I'll only tag under #gwynriel.

I often see arguments about how Gwyn and Azriel can't move the plot forward because the series is centered on the Archeron sisters.

First, that's not true because Sarah is following what she called "a traditional romance route". She's following the same patterns of Nalini Singh, Kresley Cole, and Lisa Kleypas where they publish multiple books in the same series following different couples.

This is fitting for a series like ACOTAR because it's romance-centered. And Sarah have already said that each couple is getting one book and there will likely be more books beyond ACOTAR6.

Saying that doesn't dismiss the importance of the sisters to the story, Feyre already has a trilogy centered on her. The spin-off just follows different characters including the sisters.

I won't try hard to convince people on this because I've already posted almost everything Sarah said about the spin-off series and what's it's about. So if the next book is not centered on an Archeron sister, that's for Sarah to bamboozle the fandom with.

One thing that stuck out to me is when I compared the ending of ACOSF with the scene of Bryce giving Nesta Gwydion and seeming like she left Nesta with a new quest.

First, this is what the text says, and this is Chapter 80, the very last chapter in ACOSF:

Succeeding in the Blood Rite didn't mean the training stopped. No, after she and her friends told Cassian and Azriel most of the details of their ordeal, the two commanders had compiled a long list of mistakes that the three of them had made that needed to be corrected, and the others wanted to learn from them, too. So they would keep training, until they were all well and truly Valkyries. Gwyn, despite the Rite, had returned to living in the library.

1. The Valkyries are not yet a unit.

2. SJM only and specifically highlighted that Gwyn, despite the Rite, returned to living in the library. It was like "hey, remember all the talk Gwyn did about wanting to leave the library after two years? Yeah that's on hold a bit but keep that in mind". She didnt even add Emerie or the other priestesses to that sentence.

With Nesta being left with Gwydion to find out why the 8-pointed star was tattooed on her, I don't think the next book will start with "hey Elain take this sword and deal with it". Who are Nesta's main companions now? Gwyn and Emerie.

I'll be back to the Valkyries but let's just talk about Azriel for a bit.

It is so painfully obvious to me that Azriel is being handed the Illyrian plot on a golden platter. How big or small of a plot it is depends on SJM, but it's important based on the fact that she fleshed out the Illyrian's origins and tied them to the crossover AND making Truth-teller the knife of Enalius.

That is a big deal for an Illyrian like Azriel.

And I quote my friend Lacie on this, it is very poetic for Azriel to be the owner of the knife that originally belonged to the person who freed his own people from the Daglan's clutches, perhaps because he saw his people are more than just slaves to the Daglan—how powerful would it be for Azriel, who loathes his own people, to parallel Enalius.

And for years some people were against Azriel dealing with this plot because he shouldn't make peace with his "abusers", its true his own family and some Illyrians failed him but he is condemning an entire population. Good people like Emerie and Balthazar. Even Rhys's mother, who had valid reasons to hate her people especially as a female, still made sure to make Rhysand connect with his Illyrian heritage and he even goes on to say that his mother didn't forget what they did to her but still loved her people.

If both Cassian and Rhysand (and by extension the author) continue to flag Azriel's hatred of the Illyrians as an issue—then it is a damn big issue for it to be addressed repeatedly.

Okay so to address my final point about Gwyn and Azriel and how they can move the plot forward.

Now I didn't detail out much about what the next book will deal with because that's another post (and I already have a post on that).

All of our theories and predictions are based on information that is available to us. Saying Azriel and Gwyn cannot move the plot forward does not make any sense because the central plot is tied to multiple characters, Archeron or not.

If SJM wants to make a character move the next book's plot forward, she can do it because she's in control of the story. She's in control of the narrative. She's in control of the characters.

The characters are puppets and this is an unfinished story. If some characters would add more value and make for a more interesting story before the others, she can decide on that. If she wants to make Eris the protagonist of the next book, she can easily do that whether the fandom wants it or not.

Let me give you an example of minor characters that pushed the plot forward and became main characters: Yrene Towers and the Hind. These kind of arguments could've been used for them in HOEAB or HOSAB and Pre-TOD. Before HOSAB/HOFAS and TOD, could we have predicted that they would have played a crucial role before those books? Not likely because they had minimal appearances and were not part of the main cast. This is what I'm talking about.

You can't know how a character will contribute to a story until you see how it all unfolds. We can make guesses on the information we have which is why I believe three characters are likely to join the main cast: Gwyn, Emerie, and Eris.

Why is it so easy to accept that Emerie might be sharing a book with an original character like Mor but it's hard to comprehend the fact that Gwyn could also share a book with Azriel? Because Emerie showed up in ACOFAS? To me that's not really a strong argument based on Sarah's writing and what we have in the books, she doesn't really pick based on who showed up the earliest. Here's a good example: Hypaxia, who showed up earlier, didn't even get her own chapters but the Hind did.

And there's one argument I recall about how I need to rely on Nesta to have a plot focused on Gwyn or the Valkyries in the next book. Nesta's arc is clearly not over based on HOFAS, but does that mean she's getting a POV? Not necessarily. I don't think she is. Gwyn is the perfect candidate for us to see what's going on with Nesta post-HOFAS and how they all deal with the Valkyries and whatever Sarah will set up with them.

There is this whole Valkyrie/Illyrian conflict that could be triggered as a result of the Blood Rite, with Ramiel definitely being an important location to explore in the next book, we also have the Pegasi and the Prison and the implications of the crossover. It makes sense to have an Illyrian and a Valkyrie POV to deal with some plots in the next book.

"Gwyn contributes to nothing" we can't know until the book is out. How sure are we that maybe SJM won't connect her to the crossover by making her mysterious father a Worldwalker? Or Prince of Hel? Or an Asteri? Maybe I'm right maybe I'm wrong.

"But Koschei! And the Human Queens!" Koschei will always be a background player pulling on the strings until the final book as it's obvious he is the big bad in the series, unless someone even worse is revealed. But no one is dismissing Koschei or the Human Queens messing around.

Literally what's the point of the story or the fun elements of surprises or plot twists if you need Sarah to list down everything that the next books will deal with. That's not how a story develops to me. I don't need to know everything in advance to just know how it will go. That's like knowing spoilers early on and checking off with each book what happened and what didn't happen. I feel like it's close to how a lot of readers were disappointed with not having enough ACOTAR in HOFAS, because Sarah implied half of the book would be set in Prythian. So by the time the book came out and it wasn't that, people were vocal about it.

In my opinion, SJM set a good foundation for Gwyn's arc to build up on in ACOSF and her arc is not over. We won't get mentions of her still carrying the guilt of her sister's death or not leaving the library after she said she's sick of being there for two years without us seeing resolution for that. She wouldn't be in Azriel's bonus chapter if she is not involved with him.

To conclude, my reread still affirms to me that the next book with an Azriel/Gwyn book. Azriel is clearly being set in the forefront.

[sillymercury]

Make You See My Crazy

AzrielxReader

<3

Warnings: some slightly sexual themes

Word count: 7.9k

It’s split into parts only bc I can’t stop yapping

Summary: Upon joining the inner circle you expected excitement, movement, enterprise. Instead you were faced with mundane, every day was nearly the same and repetitive motion was killing you. It’s hard sneaking around the person you love but it’s inevitable when they’re the one holding you back.

Part 2 to I’m not the Crazy One, She Is

<3

I thought working with the inner circle would be action packed; missions, fighting, or infiltrating other courts. I imagined myself having serious debriefs with Rhysand and far off adventures with Mor or Azriel. But for the first year and some change it’s just been training. Every. Day.

I guess it was to be expected, I had to be thoroughly prepared; even if what I was being prepared for was the impossible.

Some of the scenarios Azriel would throw at me were absolutely off the wall; like being shrunken down and hidden under a walnut casing, being drugged with hallucinogenic cookies that make the enemy seem like friends, being eaten by a shark? It was deluded. I asked him if any of those things ever happened to him, his answer; “Unimportant. It could happen to you.”

I thought I was flying through training with flying colors, and so did Rhysand and Cassian and Nesta and Gwyn and Feyre and Emerie and Morrigan and Amren and pretty much everyone other than Azriel. He always found something to correct or have a question with no right answer. At first it was funny, but then I mastered the sword, dagger, staff, bow and arrow, and my personal favorite nunchucks. Now it’s just condescending.

The time I wasn’t preparing for the impossible I was working on strengthening my powers with Amren and Nesta. I’ve had control of my abilities for the better part of two centuries but using them for combat was different. I had mostly used them to get what I want, adopting strangers on the streets powers to make my night more interesting. Now I was using people’s own powers against them. My abilities expanded beyond what I ever thought, what I had ever attempted. I can connect with at least 3 people, stealing power from multiple sources. I can also connect over a distance but that’s only for people that I know, if I can envision them in my minds eye and envision their powers I can connect from virtually anywhere.

Ive never felt more powerful, more formidable, more like a force to be reckoned with than since I’ve begun working with the inner circle. But for some reason, a reason that edged my last nerve Azriel didn’t see it.

“I can take on anyone in this godsdamned court and hold my own, but it’s always ‘you’re not ready’ ‘you need more training’ ‘what if something terribly unlikely happens?’” I groaned at I threw myself back onto Nesta and Cassian’s shared bed. The female was perched at the top, legs tucked underneath herself, watching me with a sly expression.

“It’s because he likes you,” Nesta teased, a knowing smile making its way onto her face.

I flipped myself over and bit my bottom lip, failing at controlling my smile. “I know,” I said dreamily, I could feel my face heat as I thought of the shadowsinger. “But that’s another thing, he likes me, I know he does. But he’s also distant, not physically but emotionally. He’s holding back from me and I don’t know why. Like go king! Give me nothing!”

Nesta laughed as she slid onto her stomach as well, face close to mine, “That’s just how these Illyrians are. They only want love if it’s torture.”

I rolled my eyes at her words, “What did you read that in a book or something?”

“Or something,” she smirked and I chuckled at response shaking my head. “I can’t help you with your love sick yet sickeningly distant Az but in terms of putting you in the field; talk to Rhys. Tell him that you feel more than ready to have a mission of your own.”

I groaned, sneaking around Az didn’t feel right. I wanted him to see me, see what I’m capable of and want me by his side. “Okay,” I said while I picked at my nails. I peaked at the female and she gave me a pointed look, “Okay!” This time I spoke with more conviction. Standing up I stamped my foot with my hands on my hips “I am going to talk to him,” I turned my head to glance out the window, night had taken over the sky, “tomorrow morning.”

It was Nestas turn to groan, her face fell into the bed as she shook her head, “Your just as bad as Azriel.”

“Come on. It’s late, he’s probably in bed. Plus last time I went to him this late…” I shuddered. Nesta just laughed, obviously recalling the story of me winnowing into Rhys’ office and seeing my high lord and high lady in a… compromising position. “Alright,” I stretched, “I’m going home, don’t wait for me at training. I’ll see Rhys bright and early!”

Her face held mock conviction as she nodded once. I just laughed and leaned over to press a loving kiss to the females head, “Bye!!!!” I sang as I channeled Rhys from afar and winnowed myself home.

I was offered a room at the House of Wind and I stayed there most nights but I still kept my cottage. With the egregious checks Rhys wrote me every month I could afford my own little castle but this was home. A new fae had moved in next door, a very nice one, and the corner was cozier than ever before. Also with Az away, the house of wind felt… colder; I needed the warmth of my space.

I went through my night routine; stripping the leathers I had grown accustomed to wearing, cleaning my hair and skin, and climbing into bed with a shirt that Azriel definitely knew was missing. As I laid I contemplated what I would say to Rhys, he has said he thought I was ready but he still backed up Azriel. I shook my head, deciding I couldn’t wait until morning.

Rhys, I whispered into his mind. Channeling his power I was able to slip past his barriers, something he was truly disturbed to find out I could do. Rhys, I tried again a little louder when he didn’t answer.

Stop using my power against me, he spoke, frustration clear. I hate when you do that.

I giggled into his mind, finding out that mental barriers don’t work against me was a pleasant surprise for me and a source of grief for Rhys. Powers are connected to emotions so the more passionate I made someone the more control I could take over their magic. I need to talk to you.

It can’t wait? I’m… busy. I knew exactly what he meant and shivered as war flash backs played in my brain.

Ewwww, I ragged. I suppose it can. I turned in my bed, making myself comfy.

The silence didn’t last long, Never mind, Nyx just woke. What do you need Y/n?

I paused, a hundred persuasive and graceful ways to ask came to the forefront but I chose succinctness. I want to go on a mission.

He paused, from inside his mind I could hear the wheels turning but out of respect for his privacy I cast my glance away. Waiting until Az is out of town, are you trying to get me in trouble?

No! I just… I’m ready. There was nothing else to say, I’m ready. I know it, Rhys knows it, everyone in this circle knows it; it’s time for me to prove it.

I heard him click his tongue, thinking of how to deny me nicely. I filled his head with my disappointment, my hurt from being consistently passed over. A sigh was heard, and I felt his conviction break.

Okay, I have an idea. See me in the morning.

I didn’t let my excitement slip into his mind but I’m sure he heard it in my voice, Okay, okay! Perfect. I’ll see you!

I disconnected from him and rolled over, giggling into my pillow and kicking lightly under my blanket. I wondered what Rhys had planned, I tried not to let my imagination get me too excited but as I fell into rest depictions of other courts circled my mind.

-

Azriel landed in the training ring with a swift silence. His leathers were glistening in the sun, clean and shiny. He picked up the habit of cleaning them before returning right around the time you started spending nights in the House of Wind. The thought of you seeing him covered in blood unsettled him, he knew deep down you wouldn’t truly care but he wanted to protect you nonetheless.

His bright eyes scanned the ring; priestesses, Valkyrie’s, and a very loud Cassian controlled the space. No you.

She’s not here, his shadows informed him. Upon further prompting his shadows informed him that you weren’t at home, or with Rhys. His eyebrows knitted with confusion as he continued to glance around. It wouldn’t be the first time you skipped training, he pictured the time he caught you tucked into a high-end dress store when you were meant to be in the ring.

He was prepared to take to the skies, ready to find where you were hiding before his brother cut him off, “Az, honey! Not even a hello?” Cass was walking toward him with a natural ease and he couldn’t help rolling his eyes.

“Hello brother,” was all he offered. His voice was void of emotion but his heart was full, coming home to family was always enjoyable. Especially after spending time in the dark tunnels of the Hewn City, seeing someone with a smile on their face was appreciated.

Cass wrapped strong arms around Az’s shoulders, holding him tight. Azriel just returned the favor with two quick taps on his back under his wings.

“I need to go find Y-“ he didn’t make it through his sentence before Cassian cut him off.

“You need to come see these priestesses,” with an arm around Az’s shoulder he led him further into the ring. “We’ve got six more priestesses picking up swords, we have a little battalion on our hands.”

Az lightly smiled and nodded, letting his brother lead him. He figured you could have the day off, you deserve it. You had been doing amazing, you were a quick learner; swift, light on your feet, and knew how to finish strong. Your fighting coupled with your power, you would be daunting in the felid; when you were ready… when he was ready to let you be ready.

Az knew you would hold your on, connecting to his power you would be the assets he always needed but he wanted to protect you, keep you safe from that part of his life as long as he could.

The better part of the morning and early afternoon were spent with the priestesses. Helping them with their swordsmanship, correcting techniques and giving confidence where it was needed. Cass and Az felt something like pride as the watched the females taking back the power that was stolen from them. With training behind them the boys gathered around the island in the extravagant kitchen, chatting with Emerie, Gwyn, and Nesta about the progress being made. You stayed in the back of Azriel’s mind, not being at training and not showing up as the day pushed on. He tried to keep cool about it, you were sensible and strong and he didn’t need to keep you on a leash, but with training 3 hours behind him his hands started to itch at the lack of your presence. His attentive shadows kept him updated, you still weren’t at your house or any of Rhys’.

“So where’s Y/n?” He asked, trying to remain casual as he leaned forward, bracing his arms on the stone island. Lunch had came and went without a word from you. Gwyn’s eyes widened for a fraction of a a second but Emerie quickly pulled her into conversation pertaining to their upcoming book club. Weird.

Nesta just pursed her lips and shrugged coolly, a light shake of her head accompanying the motion. Cassian on the other hand was staring into the tea he that had suddenly became very interesting. That was weirder. If Cass didn’t know he would’ve came up with some witty remark like, ‘she probably found a hot male with emotional maturity’ or ‘she has your account information, probably running you into the ground.’

He stalked a little closer to his brother, Cass just dipped his head further towards his cup. Az bit his cheek, thanking the mother for his brothers inability to keep a secret or produce a good lie.

Az wrapped a wing around his brothers form and dipped down too, “If you put your nose any further into that cup, you’ll drown.”

“Huh? Oh!” Cass laughed as he stood up straighter. He cleared his throat and rolled his shoulders, trying to gain some semblance of confidence. Nesta gave him a look and he turned away quickly, unfortunately for him he turned directly toward Az. The only thing he could do was offer a nervous smile.

Az returned the favor with a saccharine grin, got him. “Where is she Cass?”

“Who?” He asked dumbly. He clenched his fist to keep from slapping his face, he was under the fire of his brothers gaze and he was choking. Az just raised his eyebrows and gave him a pointed look. “Oh, Y/n. Pfft I don’t-“ he tried to do what Nesta did, pout his lips and shrug coolly. He didn’t look cool. “I don’t know. Where is she Nesta?” His voice suddenly carried a faux confusion as he turned to his mate, attempting to take attention off of himself.

Nesta glared, “I. Don’t. Know,” she bit out through gritted teeth. Cass gulped, knowing no matter how this ended he was screwed. He just nodded, humming at her before turning to Az, offering up another lame shrug.

Az looked between the two for a second before glancing over at the other two fae. Their conversation had stopped to take in the scene, at the instant of Azriel’s eyes they quickly turned away and began speaking again.

Az just nodded, the picture of calm. Cassian gulped yet again, he knew he was the weakest link and that Azriel would press him specifically for information. Cassian’s fears were confirmed when the sick smile returned to Az’s face and a firm hand was placed on his shoulder. “Cassian,” Az’s voice was low, slow, “Where is she?” The calmness and gentleness of his words sent a shiver down Cassian’s spine.

“I don’t know, truly,” he was folding. Nesta shook her head before placing it in the arms that were folded across the counter. “She was begging and she wouldn’t let up. Said she was super determined and no wasn’t a viable answer so Rhys caved, sent her on a mission this morning.”

“Good gods,” slipped from Nestas lips. Hand braced on her shaking forehead as she looked into the distance, questioning the mother.

“What?” Az’s grip turned to iron and his brother cringed at the force. He looked between the four in the kitchen, everyone knew. Everyone knew and wanted to keep it from him, if he wasn’t losing his mind he might feel bad.

Nothing else was said, there was nothing left to say, Azriel’s pace was rushed as he pushed through the balcony doors and into the sky.

“Azriel,” Rhys breathed. If the frustration wasn’t clear in his voice, it showed in the way his hands slid down his face.

“Rhys,” he pressed, “I know I just- she just needs more time.” Rhys shook his head at his brothers words, disagreeing. He knew if it were up to Az you would never leave the safety of Velaris. “How would you feel if it was Feyre?” Az’s pushing earned him a growl.

“If you remember, it was Feyre. I had to let her fight far before she was ready. Even so, Y/n is leagues ahead of Feyre.” Az shook his head now, desperately trying to find the words to convince his brother. “If we keep her stagnant any longer the poor female will become destitute.” Azwas quickly becoming hysterical, you meant so much to him and putting you in the line of fire… Hot angry tears pooled on his bottom lash despite his best efforts to keep them at bay, continuing to shake his head as he began clenching his fist. He was fighting so desperately to take control of this situation but Rhys was hard headed and determined to try out his new toy.

“It’s not going to be easy, it will never be easy dealing with the possibility of your mate getting hurt. But if you’re just going to coddle her then what’s the point of bringing her into this circle? She is smart, and strong, let her prove it.”

Az let out a chopped breath. It was his turn to bring his hands to his face, shamefully hiding the tears Rhys was already aware of. He didn’t speak for a moment, pondering. When he brought her in he had to admit he didn’t think of this. He saw it as an excuse to have her close, bring her into the family and keep her around. But after getting close to her, learning her, loving her, he didn’t care anymore. He wanted to keep her hidden from the dark world he had come to know so well. He wished she was offered a different position even though her powers were an amazing defensive and offensive asset; he never wanted to use it.

He shook his head one more time, “I just need more time.” His pleading voice broke and Rhys softened at the sound. All he’s ever wanted for his brother was to feel that earth shattering love like the one he felt for Feyre. How could he tell him those fears were invalid? That they don’t have basis? They’re wrong? He couldn’t and when Az let out one more shaky, “Please, brother,” he couldn’t say no.

Azriel landed in front of the river house with a thud, no shadowy elegance and no preternatural silence. His heightened emotions pushed all of that out of the way to make room for his task; find Rhys, kill Rhys.

He stomped through the house, making his presence and his anger known. He didn’t bother to knock on Rhys’ office door, just blowing it wide open. His high lord sat in his large leather chair while his high lady was perched on the edge of the desk, engaged in loving conversation.

The slamming doors caught their attention as Azriel stopped short of Rhys’ desk, growling his name.

“I figured you’d show up here soon enough, do you have your mission report?” Rhys was calm as he leaned back in his chair, observing Azriel and his pristine leathers and contorted face. Az wanted to stick his eyes and shake Rhys until his head fell off.

“You know that’s not why I’m here,” his voice was low as he struggled to form a sentence and not a fist.

“Oh?” Rhys feigned innocence and Azriel’s grip slipped, fists taking place at his side. “Why are you here then brother?”

A low scoff made its way out, Azriel had to look away to collect the parts of him he could. He didn’t want to play this stupid back and forth game, he wanted to find you. Blowing up on Rhys wouldn’t do anything good for him so he bit out his next words, “My mate. Where is she?”

“Ah, yes.” Rhys just nodded as he continued to look Azriel up and down, sizing how far he could push him. Feyre on the side held a confused face as she tried to decipher the situation. Azriel’s mate? How would Rhys know where she is? A low growl reverberated through Az and his brother just clicked his tongue in response. “She’s fine Az, please-“

Azriel cut him off, walking closer to brace his hands on the desk, “I told you she wasn’t ready. She needed more time to-“

It was Azriel’s turn to get cut off as he held up a hand, “No. You said you weren’t ready. You said you needed time. I gave you time, that times up.”

Az growled again, hands gripping the desk with so much force the wood under his hands groaned. His eyes were wild and his face displayed so much fury Feyre thought he might jump over it and tear into Rhys. “Az…” she said tentatively.

“Did you know?” He looked at her accusingly, not being able to hold his rage back from her. Her eyes widened and she brought a hand to her heart, her hair slid over her shoulder as she shook it back and forth.

“Know what Az? You found your mate? That’s amazing, I-“ Feyre tried to lighten the mood, choosing to focus on the good parts of the conversation.

Az rolled his eyes away from her and back to his brother. “Yes, I did find her.” His eyes held his brothers in challenge, Rhys didn’t back down but Az would either. “It’s a shame though, Rhys seems adamant on getting her killed.” He leaned in slightly, baring his teeth on the last word.

The thought of you out there, alone, in a potentially dangerous situation made his brain fog. His whole body twitched; desperate to tear apart the entirety of Pyrthian until he found you. Deep down he knew his feelings were irrational, Rhys wouldn’t send you somewhere dangerous for your first mission, solo to boot. He knew that you were fierce in your fighting technique. He knew that the reservoir of powers you could access made you one of, if not the most, powerful fae in Pyrthian. He knew you didn’t need him to protect or guard you and that you wanted this. Knowing all of those things doesn’t make it any easier though.

“She’s not- Az please,” Rhys pinched the bridge of his nose and screwed his eyes shut, trying to will away the headache his brother was giving him. “Feyre, baby, give us a moment.”

She just nodded, eyes still examining Az as if she’d find her answer written on his face. She leaned into the kiss Rhys placed on her forehead before moseying out of the office. Rhys pushed himself away from the desk and to the large couch in his office. He grabbed two glasses and the decanter off the liquor cart before sitting down. Az watched silently as he poured two neat glasses of whiskey and sipped one while offering the other.

When Az didn’t move he sat the other glass down and stared at it before saying, “She’s in no danger brother. But you might want to have a drink before I tell you where she is.”

Az’s hands returned to fists and he just stared, zeroed in on Rhys like a deadly predator. Rhys rolled his eyes and gestured to the spot on the couch next time, insinuating he wouldn’t speak until Az at least sat down. Begrudgingly he followed his brothers instructions though sitting down didn’t display any comfort as he was still rigid.

Rhys just watched his brother, looking at him as if the right way to inform him of his mate’s whereabouts would be written on his skin somewhere. The stare only unnerved Az, his skin started to prickle at the attention he was receiving and his vague patience was slipping.

He took a deep breath before grabbing the drink, downing it in one go. It didn’t help his nerves but he let out a sigh anyway before turning back, “Where is she?” His voice was calmer now, the anger was replaced with desperation, exhaustion.

Rhys let out a sigh too, leaning back he stared for a moment longer. “She’s in the day court, where she will remain for the next month and a half.” Az’s eyes widened and with furrowed eyebrows he insisted Rhys go on, “After that she will spend a month and a half in dawn, then winter, summer, and possibly autumn. I’ve spoken with Eris but I’m not entirely sure if we’ll be able to slip her in past Beron.”

Az shook his head, trying to grasp the information being given to him. “Wait you sent her through the courts? For the next 8 months? Why?”

“More training,” he leveled a look at Az whose face still displayed confusion. “Apparently what we’re doing here isn’t enough, so she will train with our closest allies. Learn all new powers along the way and techniques even we don’t have. By the time she comes back, even you will think she’s ready.”

Azriel shot up, hands coming to slide down his face has he passed around the low table. You were gone? For potentially 7.5 months? This was wrong, so so wrong. You should be here, by his side where he can see to it that you get the training you need. The thought of someone else, potentially another male, training you… his skin felt hot to the touch.

“Rhys! I don’t- what do you mean?” He stopped pacing in front of his brother, he wanted to scream, tear him a new one but he felt too manic to focus on that now. “So she’s just gone? For months?! I don’t- how could you do this!”

Rhys poured Az another glass as he spoke, “What was I supposed to do Az? You were safe guarding her to the point it was damn near suffocating. She just wanted to do something, to feel like her time was productive-“

“It was productive!” Az cut in, “She was with me! I was training her! Sending her away like that- what if someone finds about her powers? Do you know what other courts would do to get their hands on her?!”

“Yes Az,” Rhys spoke in a tried tone, being able to tell this conversation wasn’t going to cool down anytime soon. “She knows, she’s safe guarding her powers. She won’t use them in training, just learning other courts techniques and studying their powers to bring back here and implement.”

Az scoffed and shook his head, resuming his pacing. He wasn’t convinced, there was worry and anger, and longing taking up all the space for rationality. “She just wanted to get out there, you know she’s never left Velaris?”

Az’s eyes flew to Rhys’ at the question. “Of course I know,” he bit out. He knew everything about you, everything you were willing to offer him. Late nights spent in your room- at a respectful distance- gave way to room for life stories. You indulged in your early life, family, friends, love history, hobbies, likes and dislikes. He kept it all stored away in meticulous detail, committing everything you’ve ever said to him in perfect memory. You vulnerability inspired him, encouraged him to do the same and bare his soul to you. He told you everything, except for one, or maybe two things. He was safe guarding the bond, not wanting it to influence your decision. He wanted you to choose him because you wanted to choose him, not because you thought you had too.

Rhys hummed, nodding. “Well, she wasn’t going to stop until I gave her something. She’s safe and she’s happy and she’ll be back in no time.”

Azriel rolled his eyes at his brothers hypocrisy, he would be beside himself if Feyre left for that long. He moved toward the door with determination, he was going to find you. He needed to tell you that he was sorry, you didn’t have to run or sneak behind his back. He would tell you what he knew was true and promise not to hold you back anymore. “No you won’t,” Rhys cleaved through his thoughts. “One visitation permit was issued from the courts, Im sure they wouldn’t appreciate my spy sleuthing around. Not to mention how she’d feel about it.”

Az growled at that, cutting his brother a loathsome glare before slamming the doors once again behind him. Rhys just sighed, leaning back and polishing off the drink Az didn’t finish.

-

No time, that was bullshit. The months passed like years and Azriel swears he could’ve lived multiple lives in the time you were gone. He wasn’t himself, out of step, out of sync. It was kinda crazy, he lived so long without you and after just a few hours of knowing you were gone he reverted to a shell of himself.

Some days he barely tried to train, moving through the sessions like a phantom. Other days he laid his hurt bare, taking it out on Cassian until his brother had to tell him ‘no more.’

Work wasn’t able to distract him, he had been on one mission since your departure. Rhys refused to let him go, claiming he was too frazzled to focused. Despite knowing its truth Az tried to disagree, he ended up losing train of thought half way through the conversation, proving Rhys’ point.

You had sent letters, 3 came at least twice a month. One to Rhys, giving updates on where she was and how training was going. One to Nesta, the two had grown close in her time training with the inner circle. One to Azriel, it was similar to Rhys’, she was giving life updates and telling him wonderful stories. Azriel wanted to answer, truly, but the longer he thought the more he realized he had nothing to say. You were having so much fun, meeting wonderful people, exploring new powers, and seeing Pyrthian like you always wanted. He was ashamed by the fact that if it was up to him, you wouldn’t have gone. He sat down to write how sorry he was, how excited for you he was, how he wished he could see it all with you but his letters only made it as far as the fire. He was convinced you were angry with him, that’s why you left while he was gone. He read and reread every letter so much they were a crumpled mess in his hands, some terrible part of him convinced him they were pity letters. His fears were “confirmed” when his letters stopped halfway through the third month.

He was a bit surprised when around the middle of the fourth month he felt talons tapping on his mental shield, far more polite that Rhys has ever been. He opened his shield just enough to let you in, not far enough for anything other than communication.

Hi Azriel, your voice rang through him like a church bell. He shivered at the pleasant invasion, unwittingly letting the rest of his walls down from you. His subconscious wanted you everywhere, invading every part of him, committing all of him to memory.

Hello, Y/n. He hated how timid his voice sounded. But he couldn’t help it, talking to you made him nervous, especially after ghosting your letters.

He heard you sigh into his mind and he couldn’t help himself but duplicate the sound. Hearing your voice, feeling your essence, provided much needed relief.

I’ve missed you, he spoke in his mind. The words came out as a soft whisper, tentative and unsure.

Yea? I could tell by the way you ignored all my letters. He cringed at your words, your tone was joking but he didn’t miss the thinly veiled frustration. He was silent; not sure how to respond or if he even could. His remorse flooded his head and you surely caught on, based on the way you quickly spoke again. I’m sorry, shouldn’t have-

No, he cut you off. You’re right, I should’ve responded. I just wasn’t- I didn’t know what to say. I was- I still am ashamed.

It was your turn to be silent. If he stilled his mind he swears he could feel you nodding. Your questioning voice came through, You think I shouldn’t have gone?

I thought that. But I’ve read your letters, the ones to me and the ones Rhys gave me access too. Your progress is… you couldn’t have achieved what you are now if I kept you hidden.

You were silent, Azriel could feel the contemplation. After a couple beats you spoke again. I’m sorry.

Don’t apologize, ever.

You waited before speaking again, But I am sorry. It felt wrong leaving the way I did, like I was sneaking behind your back. I didn’t even get to tell you goodbye.

Azriel chuckled lightly out loud. It’s a good thing though, I probably wouldn’t have let you go.

Oh yeah? You laugh. What would you have done? Restrain me? Your voice held a playful edge that excited something in Azriel. The lower end of his stomach began to twist and he had to control himself with you still in his mind.

It was his shadows that spoke next, let her see. Their encouragement drew back the curtain of self control and he opened his mind deeper for you. He let you into the fantasies of restraining you with his shadows. Covering your vision with wisps of darkness, blurring your senses to ensure touch was heightened.

He showed you how he would be slow, take his time with you. How he would push your body to absolute extremities, take you to your peak over and over before cradling your exhausted body. You were silent as you witnessed his eagerness, his willingness to give you all the pleasure your body could handle. He heard you let loose a breath, If I knew that’s what you’d do to me I would’ve left a lot sooner.

A dry chuckle left Az’s lips, Then perhaps your punishment should be to withhold such treatment. His smirk was evident in his voice, and you gasped out a laugh at the mention of what had become an inside joke.

You’re a tease! You shrieked down the mental bond and Azriel laughed freely.

Az stayed connected with you late into the night, speaking of pretty much anything under the sun, or in this case the moon. He talked until your voice slowed down and became soft hums of acknowledgment. Eventually your presence in his mind was peaceful, calm; the proof of your sleep

-

3 weeks.

10 days.

4 hours.

15 minutes.

The time that had dragged its feet through sand was now moving at a lively pace. It was by no means quick, you had still taken your time coming back. But with daily mental communication, daily mental flirtation, having only minutes between the two of you Azriel felt his skin buzz. His wings moved on their own, display his anticipation for the world.

Az had woken up early… earlier than usual. The sun was teasing the horizon, threatening to spill its light across the mostly sleeping city. Azriel couldn’t help the coy smile as he greeted the morning happily. Little tasks had kept his body busy as his brain counted down the minutes of your arrival. Shower, train, shower again, morning flight, cleaning, bureaucratic busy work, trip to the shops, following Cassian around for a couple hours. Azriel couldn’t sit down, if he did his leg would bounce and he would be up again in seconds.

But here he was, smoothing the already smooth leathers as he waited “casually” in the greeting room of the river house. He had cleaned up your room in the HoW when you left but he took to dusting it, changing your sheets, and adding fresh and fragrant flowers to liven up the space.

5 minutes, his shadows whispered as they danced around his ears. They reflected their masters eagerness, also unable to sit still and be patient.

You hadn’t connected with him today, most likely too busy getting your affairs in order. Azriel didn’t mind though, it added to his anticipation. For the first time in what could be ever he felt like a kid, bouncing around the room with an insatiable excitement brewing below.

Azriel rubbed his rough hands together and made eye contact with his shoes, a heavy breath left his lips and suddenly it felt stagnant. Everything stopped.

Seconds turned to hours as his head turned upwards. For a moment everything stoped, the world was lost to Azriel as he finally saw you. The sounds of the room became slow and muffled and the only sound was a soft song. A light airy melody, a beautiful blend of bells and chimes. A sweet sound made only by your presence.

The air finally left his mouth and the world returned to normal, time picked up and everything was moving again. The shadows that carried you in dissipated and the ground shook with the bellows of his family.

Cassian was first to reach you, spinning you around like a doll. He barely has time to put you down before Nesta latched on and mumbled something only you could hear. Feyre greeted you with a smile and open arms, Rhys extended a hand that you took firmly. Elaine and Amren gave welcome to your presence and suddenly it was Arziel’s turn. Even his shadows beat him to you, circling every inch- noting every tiny change within you, all the things that didn’t show though your voice in his mind every night. The lines created from muscle, the natural lightness added to your hair that only comes from saltwater and direct sunlight, the clear and unmistakable scent of raw power. Every little thing was reported back to him, the way each minuscule movement of yours was silent, the advanced lightness of each step that brought you closer, the disciplined posture you now carried. Then there was the perceptive glint in your eye, one that seemed to bore into his skin, one that traced every cell and tendon in his biology; tracking his synapses and learning his bones. One that tore apart his soul and memorized it.

“Azriel,” Your greeting was clean and simple; and it almost brought him to his knees. He steadied himself with a breath and clenched the fists that wanted to reach for you. Not yet. Not here.

“Welcome home Y/n,” all the courage that made a warrior was used as he held your eyes. You were still you, still the same female he devoted each waking thought to. But you now held an edge, a deadly aura that put even him off. “I can’t wait to see what you’ve learned.”

You smiled, all of your venom hidden behind perfect, pearly structures. “I can’t wait to show you.”

Your long awaited return was celebrated with dinner, drinks, and the promise of putting your skills to the test at first light. You celebrated and mingled, held your drink dutifully but didn’t take a single sip. Your months of watching your own back and the crippling paranoia that you would be made kept you from inebriation. Not to mention you wanted to be at your best when you displayed yourself. You casually turned in early, leaving the festivities to the ones who actually indulged. You took to setting your room up in a way only self preservation would justify. Weapons were hidden all around your space, a habit from being in enemy territory with no back up. You had to be ready for anything at any time, being caught off guard would be the difference between life and death. Once you felt confident in your new arrangements you climbed into bed, channeling Azriel’s shadows to watch you in your sleep.

-

I awoke before the sun, prepping myself in fighting leathers and a clean hairstyle. My go bag was packed and placed at the foot of the bed where it could be grabbed on the way out. It was full of all the weapons I had grown accustomed to using. Most of it was basic, knives, sabers, and folding spears. There were also more elaborate weapons unique to the courts I spent time in; light directors, specific for centralizing the power of light from the day court. Loch detonators, a device that turns powered water into intense explosives. The collection was impressive but most of it would prove to be useless today, I planned on taking the boys in hand-to-hand combat.

I pushed open the window of my room before climbing out. Scaling the monstrous house, I jumped and grabbed all the edges that would lead me to the roof. The roof was hipped into a long line, on that I ascend and landed at the apex. One foot balanced on the line while the other crossed over my bent knee. My hands stretched out on either side, keeping my center of gravity directly over the line.

The cold dusk air heightened every sense as I let loose. Thoughts escaped as my perfectly poised body found peace, my steady breath the only tether to the earth. With my mind clear and body at ease I was able to connect with every part of myself, honing every part of me for battle. After an hour of meditation I stood up and began to move. To any onlooker it would look like I’m dancing on the roof not partaking in an ancient practice of energetic redirection. I came across the art of Tai Chi in my time spent in the summer court, a friend I had made took me to her village on the southern edge and though it is a closed practice one of the elders agreed to teach the basics. I had also managed to find some scrolls on the subject in Helion’s vast library and continued my training. Now it was part of my daily exercise; balance my mind, body, and energy.

Nearly two hours and passed before I left the roof, opting to winnow in and grab my bag before making my way to the training ring. Cassian and Az were there, preparing for the day with calisthenics.

“Good morning angel,” Cassian greeted with the trademark smile that comes before saying something stupid. “Done dancing on the roof?”

I looked to your feet as a smile creeped onto my face, “Yea, ready to dance with you now.”

“Ohh, we’ll see about that,” Cassian’s face was smug but I kept smiling nonetheless. It made sense, he had no reason not to be. He’s perfectly unaware of what I’ve learned and what I’ve taught myself. Azriel on the other had looked calculating, like he was trying to note all the ways I’ve changed. His gaze was piercing, like he could figure out all I’ve learned just by looking at me. He knows all of my experiences, everywhere I was at any given time but my training was not something we had discussed in detail.

“What about you Azriel?” I tilted your head as I looked him up and down. Blatant and greedy, not even trying to hide my hunger. He had opted to train shirtless this morning, something whispered that it was a subtly attempt to distract me. “You ready to dance with me?”

Azriel smirked, stalking closer as he continued to tape his knuckles. “Hmph,” he matched my actions, eyes taking over the way your lean body contorted under my leathers. “I was born ready for you.”

I felt my body rise a hundred degrees and his words and gaze, I wanted to jump on him the same way I did in our shared visions. But I kept my composure, he was trying to rile me up. “I sure hope you mean that.” one finger made its way to his arm, tracing the tattoos there until it met the glove on his hand. I grabbed his hand and brought it to your lips, kissing his knuckles in a light teasing fashion. His nostrils flared as I looked up at him through l lashes. “Because Id want nothing more than a go at you.”

He opened his mouth but was cut off by his brother, “Good morning! I hope you’re all ready because I know I am.” Rhys strolled over with Feyre, Amren, and Mor in tow. He rubbed his hands together in a gesture that showed excitement before shoving them in his pockets.

“I hope you’re ready for a show,” Cass spoke as he stretched one last time, “Y/n plans to dance.” I just smiled in response, Rhys raised a brow and his eyes shone. He was the one receiving daily briefings. I had connected with him and let him see some of my work through my eyes. Some. The rest I kept safeguarded, waiting until this moment to show them off. Since I were essentially stealing the powers I was exposed to I didn’t have anyone to train me in their use, normally that would put me at a disadvantage but Rhys changed my outlook on that. Since I hadn’t been taught how to use them I was never put in a box, never limited to what everyone else thought was possible. I could experiment with the powers I encountered, come up with my own ways to use them, and create different techniques than those normally seen. The magic belonged to others but when I used them, the powers were wholly mine.

“Okay Y/n, who do you want to dance with first? Cassian or Azriel?” Rhys asked, the knowingly look on his face was obvious. He knew what I would say, and I wasn’t in the mood to disappoint.

“Aww, I can’t have both?” I pouted lightly, turning from Rhys to the other parts of the trio, “I’ve always wanted to take on brothers.” The tease in my voice lit a double meaning behind the words. Cass snorted and Az just ducked his head and shook it side to side, even so I could still see the small smile on his lips.

“Well what are we waiting for?” Cass said clasping his hands, “I’m in the wish granting business sweetheart.” I just nodded simply as I pursed my lips, looking them up and down once more before grabbing my bag and heading to the far end of the ring. As I was wrapping my own knuckles Nesta came over with a water bottle meant for me.

“Thanks honey,” I smiled as I took the water. “Promise you won’t hate me if I bang your mate up a bit?”

Nesta laughed, “Hate you? Baby I’ll thank you. That male needs humbled.” We both chuckled at that statement as I finished with my hands. “What weapon are you going to use?” Nesta asked as I shuffled around my bag. I hummed before pulling out a small fan and sheath to keep it in. The fan looked like any other handheld fan except instead of fabric it was made of metal that weren’t fixed, meaning they could move if struck. “This,” I smiled, strapping the fan to the outside of my thigh.

“Just that?” Nesta questioned, I nodded in response. Honestly it was a lie, I had no plans to use the fan, at least not as a weapon. I pulled it for show, it would be decoy used to distract and throw off the boys. The fan wasn’t wholly useless though, I picked up different ways to turn it into a weapon when wielded skillfully. It would be too cocky to walk in there with absolutely nothing and as much as I wanted to, I knew Cass wouldn’t recover from the ego hit he would take if I acted like I knew I could beat him with my bare hands; even if that was the plan. She tilted her head before humming as well, “What exactly did you learn out there?”

I just smiled, “I can show you better than I can tell you.” I winking before turning away from her, facing the ring to show that I was ready. I heard a whoop sound come from my friend as she made her way over to join the rest of the peanut gallery.

Cassian had chosen twin broad swords, something that would look comical in the hands of a human looked normal with the giant fae. Az had nothing in his hands but there were multiple daggers lining his pants, still no shirt. I would make sure he regretted that.

“Alright,” Rhys said bringing attention to himself “no need for idle chatter or pointless speeches, begin!”

And with that I stepped completely into the ring, focus trained on the warriors in front of me as the rest of the world disappeared. I couldn’t stop the dangerous smirk that snuck onto my lips, “Let’s dance.”

A/n: don’t hate me!!! I’m so sorry it took me so long to update. I was waking up at 12 then working from 3-11 and crashing when I got home. I work on a crisis unit so that shit is madddd draining, emotionally and physically. I felt like I had nothing left to put into my writing :/ but I finally switched to 3rd shift and for nearly my entire shift I don’t have to do anything but be there so I can write at work and I have more of my day open to relax and recharge. I’m sorry I had to split this into 3 parts but this just got so long and if I would’ve kept writing it would’ve straight up been a book. But I promise part 3 will not take as long to come out. Maybe not this weekend but soon! Anyways if you made it this far I LOVE YOU, thank you so much for giving me and my stories your time :)

Masterlist

[invisible-lint]

I Know You

AzrielxHyberns daughter!Reader

Summary: Two drabble prompts "I know you." and "You could put a knife to my throat and I wouldn't flinch."

Warnings: light angst? but like soft angst?

Word Count: 1.2k

You sit out on the balcony, lost in thought, letting the cool night breeze dance across your skin. So much had changed in your 500 years. You chew on your lip, reflecting on it as you stare at the city down below. 

You had been half human, born to a human mother, fathered by the King of Hybern. It was during the war that he discovered your existence, hunting you down so he could posess you, as if you were a rare book or an exotic flower.  

You had given what little humanity you had up in a vain attempt to save the Archeron sisters. You had entered the cauldron willingly, hoping that it would be good enough for the mortal queens. It wasn’t. But in becoming full fae, you had felt something shift, felt a power that you hadn’t felt before. You had realized, with dawning horror, that the same power your father held was now awakening in you. 

 You had helped Feyre and the Shadowsinger when they had come to rescue Elain, fleeing with them. Hybern had never been your home. You had expected it to take time for them to trust you, but between going into the cauldron for the sisters and helping rescue Elain, you were surprised to find that the High Lady of the Night Court was quick to trust you, and so the High Lord did as well by extension. 

You had also become fast friends with the High Lady’s sister, Nesta. It was if there was something in each of you that had recognized itself in the other, bonding you together. Your shared love of books had only grown the bond. 

When she made the killing blow, you felt it. Not because of any love you had held for your father, you hated him with every fiber of your being, but because you had felt it as the power that had once been his, became yours. And you could sense his spell book across the ocean, singing out to you. Nesta was the only one you had told.

In turn, she told you about her own power and how she had kept it at bay with drinking and fucking. And so you joined her in the evenings at taverns and pleasure halls, drinking and dancing until you could no longer here the siren’s call of the spell book, stumbling home to your shabby apartment. You would not let the power corrupt you. You would not let it turn you into your father. 

When Nesta had been forced to the House of Wind, you had joined her. Not because you had been ordered, but because you would not be left behind. When you burst into Rhysand’s study, anger rushing through your veins, power churning in your chest, that was the first time you had seen fear in the High Lord’s eyes when he looked at you. He had Azriel bring you to the House of Wind later that same day. 

When she had opened up training to the priestesses, Nesta had asked you to join as well. You had gladly accepted, becoming a Valkyrie along with Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn. And now, here you sit, out on the balcony, staring down at the city of Velaris, avoiding sleep, avoiding nightmares. 

You were surprised to find that you don’t miss the city, not really. You miss parts of it, the window seat in your apartment, the small bookstore you had worked in, the cafe you stopped by on your way to work, but not the city as a whole. You were less worried you’d accidentally hurt someone with your power, and that made it easier to keep shoved down. Even the call of the spell book had become easier to ignore when you couldn’t easily leave the house on your own. 

You’re so lost in your own thoughts, that you don’t hear the Shadowsinger’s approach until he’s right next to you, saying your name.

You’re startled, the power you keep such a tight leash on, escaping your grasp, flaring to life in a flash of white light, shoving him away from you. You manage to regain control quickly, backing away until your back hits the railing of the balcony. You look over Azriel, noting that the male had somehow managed to stay on his feet. He looks at you, expression neutral, giving nothing away. You blink rapidly, trying to banish the tears that are burning your eyes. Azriel speaks first.

“I’m okay. You didn’t hurt me.” His words make a strange tightness in your chest release, but you don’t feel any better.

“I know it was an accident. You wouldn’t hurt me.” 

“But I could.” Your voice is barely loud enough to be considered a whisper, but he hears you.

“Not on purpose. Not in a way that would matter. You could put a knife to my throat and I wouldn’t flinch.” He’s moving towards you slowly, eyes never leaving your face. 

“That’s because you could disarm me with ease.” 

He shakes his head. “No. It’s because I know you. And I see you.”

You wish you could take a step further back, away from the way his hazel gaze is piercing you, but you are already pressed up against the railing, any further and you’d go toppling over the edge. He stops moving when he’s in front of you, flaring his wings to shield you from the gazes of Nesta and Cassian who were awoken by your outburst of power. 

“How? We’ve barely spoken. How could you possibly know me?”

“Because I’ve been watching you.” His cheeks tinge pink at the admission. “What I mean is I… See the way you put others before yourself. You went into the cauldron to try to save humans you didn’t even know. You helped Feyre and I escape when we rescued Elain. Back during the first war, I had heard about you. The half-fae healer who had given herslef over to the soldiers that had been hunting her down so that everyone else could escape.” He reaches a hand out towards you, letting it drop when you lean away. “What are you so afraid of?”

The tears you had been trying to will away finally break free, rolling down your cheeks.

“I don’t want to be like him. It’s his power.” Realization dawns on his face. He gently pulls you away from the railing, turning so he’s between you and the railing. He cups your chin, wiping a tear away as he forces you to look him in the eyes.

“You could never be like him. You are too good. You are far too good.”  You want to argue, but theres something about the way his hazel eyes blaze with intensity that keeps you from arguing,

“It isn’t his power anymore. It’s yours. And it’s up to you what you do with it. And I, for one, think you will do amazing things with it.”

“Why?” 

Before he can speak, the cauldron does, tying the two of you together in a flare of golden light.

“Because we’re mates.”

“Oh.” You blink, your brain trying to catch up with what has happened, equally torn between wanting to kiss him and wanting to run away.  You’re about to do the former when the High Lord lands on the balcony. You can feel your barely contained power tugging at its leash once again, and so you do the latter, stepping back from Azriel, turning, and running past Nesta and Cassian. Nesta follows you, leaving the three brothers staring after you, wondering what they’re going to do.

A/N: well there are two of the drabble prompts @loving-and-dreaming

Keep sending in prompts and feel free to be as specific or as vague as you'd like!

divider by @tsunami-of-tears

[dawneternal]

Yes, Valkyrie

₊⊹ Gwynriel one shot

₊⊹ Gwyn is inspired by a scene in her current read. Of course, she begins conspiring to reenact this scene, with a little help from Azriel's shadows. Somewhere along the way, she discovers a persona she had no idea was waiting under the surface.

₊⊹ Word Count: 2.8k

₊⊹ Warnings: Smut, 18+, minors DNI. Established relationship. Gwyn is in charge, Az is tied up (kind of) p in v, shadow play, wing play.

(listen I don't write that much smut so idk how to tag this, if I missed anything pls let me know)

₊⊹ Read on AO3

₊⊹ Divider by tsunami-of-tears

Gwyn snapped her book shut and set it on the table in front of her. She took a long sip of her iced coffee in an attempt to cool her warm skin. The story was getting a little too salacious to read in public. Nesta or Emerie would probably keep reading, though they were both better at masking their emotions.

She glanced at Azriel, who hadn't noticed a thing, engrossed in his own book. She wasn't sure if it was something he was reading for fun or for work. They all tended to look the same, thick and weathered with a million dog-eared pages and notes in the margins. As his mate and a librarian, Gwyn should probably know. But she wasn't often thinking about books when she was with him.

Like now, as she found her eyes wandering from the long-winded title on the spine to his long fingers, poised to turn the page. Her gaze slid up, tracing the outline of his form. It was his day off and he wore a black shirt that hugged his muscled arms and torso. His black curls were perfectly messy, tortoiseshell reading glasses perched on his nose. His shadows buzzed around him like sleepy bees on a sunny day - a sign that he was actually relaxed. Even while he focused, brows furrowed and bottom lip poked out in concentration, he kept a claiming hand on Gwyn's thigh.

He did not notice her scent change as her thoughts turned back toward her book, replacing the love interest's features with his. The love interest of this story happened to have wings like Azriel, and a few specific lines were echoing in her mind. He had let her touch his wings before, but nothing quite like the scene she had just read.

Gwyn swallowed a wicked grin and stretched her arms up and out, letting out a long, pretend yawn. She let her fingertips brush the edge of his wing as she brought her arms back down. He started, shadows darting into action as his wings tucked into his body with a snap. He turned his head toward her slowly with a wide-eyed look that read are you crazy?

"My bad," Gwyn smiled innocently. Azriel blinked at her for a moment before returning to his reading. But she felt it, the flicker of heat he had sent through the bond as her fingers had brushed his wing.

✦✦✦

When they returned to the House of Wind, Gwyn quietly trailed Azriel into their shared room. His shadows were on her side today, choosing not to alert him to the fact that he was being followed. She was the only one who was silent enough to sneak up on him.

She closed the door with a thud, leaning against it, and that wicked grin returned. Azriel jumped, head whipping to look over his shoulder. The shadows danced with amusement at their clever trick.

"Yes, Valkyrie?" He huffed a breath. Her gaze lingered on his backside, meandering up to meet his gaze as he turned around fully.

"I have an idea," Gwyn said.

Her voice was a note deeper than usual and it had his attention. He tilted his head at her, eyes gleaming with interest.

"Do you trust me?" Gwyn continued, and she watched his eyes darken.

"Yes," His voice was a little breathy and the Valkyrie grinned.

"Wings only," She explained, pushing off the door and stalking closer until they were nearly chest to chest.

Azriel's eyebrows shot upwards, but Gwyn did not miss the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed.

"Yes," He said again, after a moment.

Gwyn reached out, sliding her hands under his shirt to lift it from his body. He let her, utterly still as she pulled it over his head and began a constellation of kisses, connecting his tattoos and battle scars. The bond was humming, pulsing with warmth at every touch, doubling the thrill of anticipation. He watched in adoration, fingers tangling in her ponytail as she unbuckled his belt and slid his pants and underwear to the floor.

"Kneel on the bed," She ordered, blood singing with anticipation as she looked up at him. His cock twitched at the command and he obeyed, crawling into the bed and kneeling in front of her. Arms loose at his sides, muscular thighs spread, his body was on full display.

Gwyn let her hair down, the white ribbon that had been tied in a bow now dangling from her fingers. She circled around to the other side of the bed and gently grasped his wrists. His breath hitched as she bound his hands with the ribbon, but he did not protest.

"Good boy," Gwyn murmured, pressing one chaste kiss to his shoulder before moving to face him again.

She caught his gaze dragging over her as she stood before him, and she let herself admire him in turn. His smooth bronze skin, slim hips and absurdly defined abs, and strong arms that could break through the ribbon any time he wanted. But judging by his blown pupils and hardening cock, he was exactly where he wanted to be.

Gwyn peeled her clothes off slowly, holding his eye contact as she did so. She let her breasts bounce as she pulled off her bra, chuckling as his shadows rushed forward to caress her bare nipples.

"Keep your shadows to yourself, pretty boy," She murmured, swallowing a gasp at their cool, light touch. Almost reluctantly, they returned to their master, swirling around his head like a dark halo.

Free of her clothes, Gwyn moved to stand before him, eyes flicking over the sweat already beading at his brow. She lifted his chin with her fingers and smirked as she bypassed his lips, leaning to press soft kisses down his throat, drinking in the rapid beat of his pulse. She traced his body with a gentle touch, running over the lines of his tattoos and the grooves between his muscles. It was a routine she could not bring herself to break, mapping his body with the affection he deserved. She heard his breath hitch again, wings rustling behind him as they untucked and spread.

The Valkyrie climbed onto the bed and moved behind him, peppering the back of his neck and shoulders with open mouthed kisses, tongue sliding over his skin. Avoiding his wings just yet.

"Are you ready?" She leaned forward and purred into his ear, breasts pressed against his back.

"Mhm," He murmured, chest rising and falling.

"Words, shadowsinger."

"I'm ready," He stammered, as if it were hard to conjure words in this position.

"You'll tell me any time you want to stop?"

"I promise."

Satisfied, Gwyn began, dipping her finger into the inside seam where the velvety dark wing met his skin, facing toward his shoulder blade. The skin was especially soft, protected from wind and sun. He let out a quiet moan, arching his back into her touch.

"So responsive," Gwyn murmured, circling her fingers around to the other side, stroking along the thick base of his wing.

"I can't help it," He groaned, shivering again.

"No?" She asked, leaning forward to run her tongue over the spot where her fingers had just been. The base of the wing was fuzzy, like the skin of a peach.

"Fuck," Azriel grunted.

"So my book wasn't lying?" She asked, her voice like a sultry song. Her hands continued their exploration, up the solid arches of his wings toward the shining talons.

"I should've guessed this came from a book," He ground out.

Gwyn wanted him incapable of speech, not taunting her. So she pressed harder, raking her nails back down the thin membrane as she licked a stripe up his spine. His wings shivered, trembling with the effort of deciding wether to lean in or move away. A conflict that Azriel often subjected her to, and now she could get even.

"What were you saying?" She crooned, and smirked when she got no answer. Only the shadowsinger's heavy breathing, his shadows pulsing around him.

She touched every inch of wing, memorizing their beautiful shape, adding every curve and texture to the map in her mind. Every seam had a dip the perfect size for her finger to drag through, the skin so delicate, the structure so intricate and lovely.

His body shone with sweat as  worshipped without mercy, savoring the salty taste of his skin as she pulled moan after and moan from his throat. It almost seemed as though those wings were built purely for pleasure, the way his body reacted to her touch, the noises he made purely sinful.

By the time she had returned to her starting point, having licked, nipped and stroked everything she could reach, Azriel's entire body shook.

She rose up on her knees and peered over his shoulders to catch a glimpse of his face, contorted in pleasure, and his cock, red and weeping. A few times, his shadows swept in toward her and then backed away, just barely brushing her skin. As if Azriel had begun to reach for her and then remembered the rules.

"Tell me which part you like best," She let her breath brush over his ear again, reveling in the goosebumps spreading in response. He was so close to falling apart, one foot in a realm of pure pleasure.

"The-the," He swallowed hard, a groan escaping in between words as he answered, "The inside, near my shoulder blades."

Gwyn hummed, watching his muscles tighten in anticipation as her fingertips moved back toward that inner seam. The sounds he released as she found that hidden spot lit a fire in the Valkyrie's stomach. She didn't have to look to know that her arousal was dripping onto the bed beneath her. As if she cared, right now.

"Fuck," He groaned, "I can't...I need...."

Gwyn was driven wild by the glistening muscles flexing against the ribbon that bound him. She threaded her fingers into his dark curls and tugged, not very gently.

"Come for me," She commanded, voice low and wicked and she dug her fingertips in deeper.

The moan that he released was nothing like his usual gutteral groan. This was higher pitched, soft and breathy and elicited from some deep and desperate place. Gwyn did not know that a noise could make her cunt throb the way it did.

She gave him barely a moment to come down from his high before she was crawling around to face him, grabbing his face in her hands and kissing him fiercely. He chased her lips with his, emitting broken sounds into her throat as her tongue swept in.

Pulling back to look at him, panting, she wasn't sure she had ever felt this desperate. Azriel was entirely undone and at her mercy, his chest slick with sweat and painted with his cum, hands still tied behind him as he panted. His hair stuck up where she had pulled it, his eyes dark and full of desire. And something new, that she hadn't seen before. She was sure he'd seen it often. It was desperation, like he was one kiss away from begging for what he wanted.

"Do as I say and you'll be rewarded," She said, leaning in to graze his lips as she spoke. She kissed him again, softly. Agonizingly slow, even as he tried to speed up.

Gwyn pulled back, dragged two fingers through the stripes of white dripping down his torso and pushed them into his mouth.

"Suck."

His cock twitched against her thigh, already hard and aching again. He kept his eyes locked on hers as his warm tongue swirled around her fingers, throat bobbing as he swallowed.

"Good boy," She murmured, and the whine he let out was against his will.

Gwyn had been in charge before, but she had never dared to be this bossy. It had not even come from the book that had inspired this whole thing. This had emerged from somewhere deep inside her, and it set every inch of her skin on fire. Azriel's eyes burned into hers as she took her fingers from his mouth, tightening his lips so her fingers made a pop upon release. He watched as she reached between her legs with those fingers, coated in his spit, for some relief.

She bit her lip, swallowing a moan, cheeks reddening in desperation.

"Can I touch you?" Azriel croaked, pulling at the ribbon that Gwyn had almost forgotten about.

"Remember your manners," She said, fingers still circling between her legs.

"Can I please touch you?"

Gwyn reached around with her free hand and pulled the knot undone. Immediately, one strong arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her into his lap to straddle him. And his other hand pushed hers aside, dipping a finger into her soaked cunt.

She was lost to it for a moment as relief rolled through her body. The shadowsinger took the opportunity to attack her neck, kissing and marking with fervor. She closed her eyes and basked in his touch for just a moment before she remembered her task. She would not let her control slip away so easily.

Her eyes snapped open, and she felt a wave of satisfaction as the shadowsinger shrank, just a little. His plan had not worked. The shadows shuddered, as if giggling at their master's foolishness.

"You promised to do as I say," It was almost a growl. She pushed his shoulders until he was laying down, legs straightening out before him as she straddled his hips. "And you tried to take control from me."

Gwyn lowered her body, movements fluid and graceful like a predator, until her chest was pressed against his and they were nose to nose.

"I think I deserve an apology, don't you?" She purred, hips circling and spreading her arousal over his length.

"Yes," He breathed, the amber of his eyes barely visible behind his pupils, "I'm sorry."

"Yes what?" She demanded, sliding her hand up around his throat and pressing the lightest amount of pressure against the sides, "I'm sorry what?"

His eyes widened and for a moment she thought she had gone too far, but then she felt a moan in his throat, vibrating beneath her palm.

"Yes Valkyrie," His voice was broken, body softening like putty under her hands, "I'm sorry, Valkyrie."

"Good boy," A grin spread across Gwyn's face. She sat up, keeping that hand wrapped around his throat as she rose up and aligned them. The other braced against his chest. She did not bother with a slow entry, sinking down on his cock in one motion, thighs flush against hips. He let out a hiss as she paused to let herself adjust.

The world around her was fading as her desperation grew, her body aching almost painfully. It would almost be a mercy to relinquish control again. But she craved the rush of this position as much as she craved release.

"Let your shadows touch me," She choked out the words, beginning to move her hips. Azriel obeyed, letting his shadows loose. They circled her body and attacked, swirling over every part of her they could reach.

Her high was approaching fast, urged on by the sight of Azriel below her, face flushed and lips parted. She pressed against his throat and chest harder, using him as leverage to angle herself deeper. He watched,  mesmerized by the rhythm of her body, and grasped her hips, fingertips digging in as he urged her faster. Every rise and fall of her hips made an obscene slap, echoing through the room.

With a shadow attached to each nipple and one moving over her clit, she was soaring close to the edge. She slammed down harder, a grunt escaping in time with each smack of her ass against his thighs. Azriel reached up and squeezed her breasts, rolling both nipples between his fingers.

The change from the shadows soft touch to his firm hands pulled her over. Her head fell back as she roared, louder than she had ever let herself. Azriel's hands slid down around her waist to keep her moving and extend the waves of bliss. The hand around Azriel's throat finally loosened, nails dragging down his chest in time with a long, breathy moan.

Finally, she slumped forward, letting her body fall against his as she closed her eyes. Azriel wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. He let her lay still for a long moment before whispering, cautiously,

"Is this still the Valkyrie or is this my Gwyn again?"

"Gwyn," She murmured against his skin. Whatever vixen that possessed her had retreated, leaving her spent and sweaty.

"Good," He said, his voice dropping a note lower. She squealed as those strong arms flipped her around and she found herself laying underneath him, staring up into his smirking face.

"But...." She whispered, suddenly shy, "Did you like her? The Valkyrie?"

"I think I'd have to meet her again to be sure" Azriel murmured, nosing at the space between her shoulder and neck, breath hot against her skin, "But for now it is my turn."

[silverdreamscapes]

I swear people in this fandom are too funny. Because how can people say on one hand that they didn’t pick up on anything romantic between Elriel until the bonus and then say elriels lack reading comprehension and don’t pay attention to the text or details. Wtf, clearly if anyone lacked reading comprehension it was you and not elriels lol. Because we didn’t need a bonus chapter to literally spell out for us that Azriel and Elain wanted one another.

What did you think “A mate will know what is wrong with Elain” and then Azriel being the one to figure it out was about?

What did you think Azriel being the first one to notice Elain was missing and “I’m getting her back” were about? The fact that Sarah had Azriel as the one to go on a suicide mission to save her and not her mate?

The fact that Elain is the first and only person that Azriel has willingly let hold TT, his most prized possession? “I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two.” Pretty sure elucien and Gwynriel didn’t have a moment like this.

Why is Elain the first one to hold his scarred hands and call them beautiful?

Why do you think Azriel was clearly upset about spying on Lucien because he didn’t want to see what he and Elain did together? “Azriel’s Siphons guttered, the stones turning as dark and foreboding as the deepest sea.”

Why is Azriel associated with a place called Rosehall of all things? A place more than likely belonging to his mother.

Why do you think Elain buys gifts for Azriel but not her own mate? That she’s the one who causes Azriel to actually laugh out loud and it’s a sound unlike anything Feyre has heard before?

That he stays up until whatever fuck o’clock in the morning just to listen to her garden plans and stays with her even after everyone goes to bed.

If Lucien is supposedly what she needs because of “sunshine” then why is Azriel the one who actually takes her to the gardens and spends time with her in the sun enjoying peace and quiet and not Lucien? Why have Feyre ask Rhys “what if the cauldron is wrong”.

Why is Cassian confused pretty much throughout all of ACOSF because of Azriel’s behavior? Why he doesn’t sleep at night, why he avoids family dinners, why Elain smiles shyly at Azriel and has to look away, why Azriel seems so concerned over Elain’s wellbeing when he learns Nesta and Elain had a fight, why his shadows gather likes snakes ready to strike Nesta for insulting Elain?

And most importantly what about the fact that Cassian and even Mor notice that Azriel no longer looks at Mor longingly and appears to be over her? Azriel’s feelings for Elain were the catalyst and reason for him moving on from Mor after 5 centuries, and it wasn’t Gwyn his supposed mate who he actually met two years prior to Elain? Hmm…weird.

Or what about Azriel following the sound of elain’s laugh to another room and sharing a charged look between them? Or Azriel not being able to go into the family room because of “who” was in there “His secret to tell, never hers.”

Not sure how you missed all this, as well as other examples I didn’t even list, and then have the audacity to say we have no reading comprehension. Elriels didn’t need a bonus chapter to literally spell out for us that Azriel’s secret was Elain. I didn’t need it explicitly stated by him that he wonders what she looks like when he penetrates her, or that Elain gets wet just from him touching her neck of “offer and permission” to pick up on what Sarah has clearly been hinting at for multiple books. He wants her, she wants him, but there’s a mating bond in the way which complicates everything. It’s really that simple.

If you couldn’t pick up on that, then it’s you with the reading comprehension problem not elriels. They actually have romantic setup unlike Elucien where Elain loses her boldness around him. Or Gwynriel who have an off page rescue, and off page dagger lesson we never hear about, an off page bonus, and a regifted necklace meant for another woman.

[mycadences]

You're telling me that SJM, a fated mates writer, introduced Lucien Vanserra as Elain's mate in ACMOAF as a red herring?

You're telling me that SJM introduced Gwyneth Berdara in the latest ACOTAR book and wrote mating language about her with Azriel as a red herring?

You're telling me that SJM purposely wrote in a Facebook comment about how Elucien would have "tension, growth, and healing" to be found together as a red herring?

You're telling me that SJM had Nesta find out about Gwyn's oddly complex lineage, comment on some sort of crackling power in her and also about how rare it was for her to have a last name, all as a red herring?

You're telling me that SJM wrote Azriel's shadows, who "kept him company, as they always had, as they always would", vanishing around Elain as a red herring?

You're telling me that SJM wrote Azriel's shadows singing and dancing for Gwyn as a red herring?

You're telling me that SJM wrote Azriel saying his almost-kiss with Elain was a mistake and admitting to himself that he had no thought about her beyond his sexual fantasies as a red herring?

You're telling me that SJM wrote Azriel's chest sparking for Gwyn and him smiling at her happiness as a red herring?

You're telling me that SJM wrote Azriel's ENTIRE bonus chapter (let's face it, at this point everyone agrees his BC is as anti-E/riel as it gets) as a red herring?

You're telling me that SJM had Rhysand directly referenced and shot down the "three brother three sisters" theory (the same theory E/riels are banking on) as a red herring?

You're telling me that SJM wrote Azriel and Elain's interactions with similar vibes as Feyre and Tamlin's as a red herring?

You're telling me that SJM wrote Azriel and Gwyn sharing so many complementary traits (competitive, singing, interest in combat, not afraid of bloodlust, low self-esteem) is a red herring?

You're telling me that SJM wrote Elain and Lucien sharing so many complementary traits (peace-loving, abhorrence of violence, both very social, light and sun imagery, diplomatic personalities) is a red herring?

At this point, isn't it easier to agree that there's just ONE red herring (Elriel), and it applies for TWO couples (Gwynriel and Elucien)?

Rather than these dozens of red herrings all for one couple. It doesn't make sense. If Elriel were meant to happen, realistically SJM only needed Elucien as a red herring and she just had to need to write Gwyn's interactions with Azriel in a similar way as she wrote Emerie's interactions with Azriel, because no one ships Emerie and Azriel. They don't have mating language together, they don't banter together, his shadows don't do anything special for her, etc.

[violetasteracademic]

On Mate Behavior: Elriel

So, when it comes to Azriel's mate behavior, I would say the most commonly discussed point (which I definitely agree with) to *disprove* that Azriel displays any mate behavior towards Gwyn is his overall calm demeanor and focus on Eris when the Valkyrie are kidnapped in the middle of the night and dropped into the Blood Rite.

However, there is another example that additionally highlights the lack of "mate behavior" in the bonus chapter, and I truly don't see it come up that often, though I think it is even more telling!

When he meets Gwyn's gaze, and that bloody memory of when he first "met" her (if you would like to call that their meeting) flashes, he is otherwise completely unruffled. He simply reflects on Gwyn's growth, and two seconds later, is snorting and having an easy, playful conversation.

While this certainly points to their comfortability and fun banter that they share, it does not scream *mate behavior.*

ToG and CC spoilers ahead

I think about Rowan seeing Aelin's ruined back for the first time, and being so overcome with anger at discovering the violence that had been enacted on her that he took to the skies to get control of his violent instincts:

I think of Cassian in his bonus chapter with Nesta- going into a rage as he smelled Nesta's fear while she recalled Tomas's attempted assault. He would have gone to kill him right then, I have no doubt:

I think of Ruhn hating Lidia, being sick over discovering the female he had fallen for was The Hind. And yet, when Pollux lays a hand on her, he was ready to rip out his throat for hurting Lidia. He couldn't understand how he could hate her and need her and want to kill for her at the same time:

So I do think it's interesting that in comparison to the to the other mated males who get a POV and an inside look into their heads while they reflect on trauma their mates have been through (even before knowing they are mates, which is the case in all three of these examples) they are completely unhinged. And yet we get this pointed moment where Azriel actively reflects on Gwyn's trauma, the absolute horrors that had been done to her and... nothing. A snort, and a little bit of form correction and teasing.

Meanwhile in this same book, Elain gets called boring and Azriel's shadows are like hoe who do we need to mf-ing end right tf now:

Azriel has already established that he believes the Cauldron could be wrong. While I personally disagree that there is foreshadowing to Azriel and Gwyn being mates, even in trying to give it a fair and unbiased look and say okay- could they be mates? I still wind up drawing the conclusion that even if they are, it would mean as little to Azriel as Elain's mating bond currently means to her.

I am personally super open minded about whether or not Azriel and Elain are true mates. I think a reveal that they are could be lovely. I also think them choosing each other above all, even fate, would be lovely.

But there is simply no denying that these two already have a set up plotline of questioning the Cauldron, and the only two characters *acting* like mates in this scenario are Az and Elain.

As always, I am Lucien and Gwyn positive even though I ship Elriel, so be kind in the comments! But I just really don't see how this could possibly play out any other way. Azriel has had too many on page opportunities, even from his personal POV, to display mate behavior towards Gwyn and there is nary a lick. It's just... not how a lead up to a mate reveal typically goes. So the pure, undiluted facts are that even if you think Sarah is a "fated mate" author above all, she is not treating these characters as she usually does. And that is noteworthy.

Thank you for joining me on this dissertation!

[oristian]

I’m going to be putting into words arguments that I have made that are, more often than not, fragments of an overarching whole. Feel free to add on if I missed any.

A rejected bond trope cannot happen in a book that does not also share Lucien’s POV. Not only would this be the first rejected bond trope that SJM would have used in her entire catalogue of work, but it directly affects the males more than the females—not having Lucien’s immediate POV in the following chapter would diminish the climatic notion of rejecting the mating bond. The bond is just as much Lucien’s as it is Elain’s.

Following along, had Lucien been rejected in the previous book, the reader would now have to wait years for his POV in his own book where the reader would have to go back in time to see his immediate reaction, deal with the consequences of a rejection, his plethora of plot points, and also him somehow falling in love with a human woman. Not only is he going to miraculously bounce back from such a soul crushing rejection—in all meanings of the term—but he is going to manage to move on enough to fall in love with someone else.

Lucien and Elain have to resolve the mating bond before she can either reject it, and/or get with Azriel. That means, from a literature standpoint, that the reader needs to actively see Elain and Lucien exploring the bond and getting to know one another, finding out that they just do not work, and continuing on from there. If Elain just up and rejects the bond and decides to be with Azriel, that is both anticlimactic and a disservice to Azriel. Choosing love means exploring the other option, rejecting it/fate, and still choosing to be with someone else. If the bond is never explored, did she really choose Azriel for love?

Elain and Lucien are within the same plot arc—Azriel has his own established plot arc, away from Elain. If SJM truly intended for the next book to be told from Elain and Azriel’s POVs, she would have placed them within the same overarching plot arc. Instead, she separated them for two straight books and made certain that it was Lucien also tied to Koschei, and it was Azriel tied to Dusk, Illyrians, Gwydion and Truth Teller, and Valkyries.

If Elain and Azriel were meant to be endgame, SJM would have needed to already resolve/begin resolving the mating bond between Elain and Lucien, and she would not have placed Gwyn within the vicinity of Azriel—especially not in his bonus chapter—in the way in which she did. SJM would have titled the ACOSF bonus chapter and marketed it as the Elriel chapter, similarly to Nessian. However, she did not, she marketed it as Azriel’s bonus chapter and she included two women.

If Elain and Azriel were endgame, and are so blatantly obvious, what would the need for a red herring be for them? Elain’s mating bond is tension enough, why bother adding another female character into the mix? Why move so much of Elain and Azriel off page? Why have all of their biggest scenes be told from either someone else’s POV, or in a bonus chapter that many readers still have not found out about?

The ‘Elain in Black’ entire paragraph was meant to draw the reader in. Cassian, who should have been focused on Nesta, harped on the Night Court black draining the life from Elain. “She had to dress down for Nesta.” That is a fanon interpretation and not backed by canon; Elain is the most beautiful Archeron sister and would have outshined Nesta in that regard no matter what. Pair that with Nesta in the next chapter also confirming that the color of the dress was what was ill-suited, not the actual dress. Following by saying that Elain radiated good health in an amethyst dress, written in a similar way that the Day Court entourage was described in ACOWAR. Pair this with other characters expressing that Elain does not fit in with the Night Court, and the foreshadowing is there.

Anything that Vassa can offer to the narrative, the reader can learn from both Lucien and Elain—Vassa is not needed for a POV, as she has nothing she can offer that would create a compelling story. She would, ultimately, just be a love interest. Anything about Koschei, we can learn from Elain’s visions and any stories that Vassa tells Lucien. Anything about Vassa in general, we can learn from Lucien. The reader already knows what happened to Vassa and the readers know about her curse and that Koschei still expects her return. She is going to be a side character with her own love interest, similarly to Amren and Varian.

I am certain that there are more, so feel free to comment and/or reblog with some! Elain and Azriel were never meant to be taken as seriously as they have and do not make much sense from a narrative perspective. They do not share any overarching plot arcs, they are wildly incompatible with one another, and there is so much foreshadowing and symbolism between Elucien and Gwynriel that wouldn’t need to be there if Elriel truly was endgame.

Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

[separatist-apologist]

Lying In Between The Memories

You could call it paradise but it looks just like hell to me

Summary: Following the blood rite, Gwyneth Berdara can't shake the memories of a life long-gone.

The shadowsinger can't seem to move on after five centuries of loving the same woman.

Together, they'll have to carve a new path forward.

Read on AO3 | Previous Chapter

[ongoing TW for Sexual Assault]

Hopefully the long wait is made up for this beefy chapter

“What do you mean, go back?” Nesta demanded. Gwyn wanted to ask Nesta who had taught her to winnow, or why they were currently standing in the swampy underbrush of the Middle, but some questions were for later. “We need to go home.”

Home. Gwyn wanted that more than anything—to retreat back into her little room in the library where she was no one important at all. Some small part of her wanted to go back to the time before this had all happened—before she knew Azriel was her mate or what it was like to touch him, know him—love him. 

And because Gwyn loved him, she couldn’t go back to Night Court and pretend everything was fine. Nor could she go back to the way things had been, because Gwyn knew she’s spend the rest of her life regretting him. Missing him. Wanting him. And she knew if she told him she wanted him to leave, he would without question or complaint.

Would he miss her, too?

She thought so.

“We have to see this through,” Gwyn told Nesta, squaring her shoulders. “You don’t have to come with me—”

Both Nesta and Emerie spluttered, talking over the other as they declared of course they were going with her. Gwyn felt the knots in her stomach loosen. 

“We should get Cassian—”

“No,” Gwyn breathed. “Cassian will tell the High Lord, and the High Lord might stop us.”

“He’d definitely stop us,” Nesta grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. “But he’ll also kill us for going around him.”

“All we’re doing is getting my books,” Gwyn told Nesta, hands clammy. “We’ll be in and out before they even know we’re there.”

Emerie narrowed her eyes. “How do you figure that?”

It was a good question. Truthfully, Gwyn hadn’t thought that far ahead, though she figured it would come to her when they arrived. She shrugged, offering Nesta what she hoped was her most charming smile. “The same way we survived The Blood Rite.”

They both rolled their eyes in unison. 

“Stealth,” Gwyn supplied. “We’ll sneak in, get my books, and sneak back out. No one will notice us because we’re supposed to be gone.”

“And when Eris realizes you’re missing?”

“That’s Eris’s problem,” Gwyn said flippantly, stomach knotting all over again. She hadn’t told her friends what Eris had shared with her—that she was related to his family through his mothers side of the family. That was another problem she’d deal with another day. Absently, Gwyn wondered if the High Lord would even let her stay now that she knew. Maybe he’d demand she go to Autumn.

Gwyn shook her head of the thought. 

“Let’s get this over with,” Emerie murmured, looking to Nesta. “I don’t want to face Cassian’s wrath when he realizes what we’ve done.”

“Let me worry about Cassian,” Nesta said with a sly smile. “Once we get there, I won’t be able to help with my magic—winnowing takes a lot out of me.”

“Who taught you?” Gwyn heard herself asking.

Nesta’s cheeks darkened, as if she were embarrassed to admit it. It wasn’t Cassian, though, because Cassian could fly and didn’t need to. Gwyn also doubted it had been the High Lord, who had a strained relationship with Nesta for reasons Gwyn stayed out of.

“Feyre,” she said, casting her eyes downward. “She ah…she’s been helping with a lot of my magic recently.”

Both Gwyn and Emerie offered Nesta soft smiles, knowing better than to say anything that wasn’t encouraging. That must have been nice, if not a little awkward. Gwyn looked forward to hearing more about it when they were all safe and tucked into their beds. She was looking forward to a lot of things.

Like seeing Azriel.

She hadn’t been gone very long—Gwyn assumed he was still in the palace, still looking for her. He’d be able to come back with them, using that strange shadowy magic that let him winnow when the other Illyrians could no. He wouldn’t have left without her. She knew that. Gwyn knew it in her bones that Azriel was looking for her and that if he’d known she was in Autumn, he’d have come sailing in, knives gleaming, without giving a damn about his High Lords politics.

“We should go before Autumn comes looking,” Emerie said, turning her head as the wind picked up. In the distance, Gwyn swore she heard the sound of braying dogs. Maybe that was just her imagination, but…she wouldn’t put it past the Vanserras. It was said their ability to track went beyond the magic they commanded.

Emerie carried them out, one after another, to an area Nesta could use to winnow. Gwyn was in awe of her friend, who’d once refused to touch the magic she commanded, now gather it around her like a frigid kiss, and wrap both she and Emerie in it. Gwyn would never be used to the way the magic caved around her, pushing against her ribs to expel the air in her lungs.

It was over in a moment, depositing her on familiar, black sand shores. Nesta wouldn’t bring them closer to the palace for fear of setting off the wards, which meant they’d have to hike to get closer. Gwyn looked up at the basalt column and the castle looming overhead as Nesta’s head turned almost violently, those gray eyes narrowing at something only she perceived. 

“I’ll fly you up,” Emerie offered, craning her neck from one side to the other. 

“I’ll stay,” Nesta murmured, taking a step in the soft sand away from them. “Ten minutes.”

Ten minutes was all Gwyn needed, truly. Wrapping her arms around Emeries neck, heart thudding as she remembered how she’d just nearly escaped before, Gwyn let Emerie fly her up. It was nearly dark, the sky bleeding violet against an inky black. It wasn’t the balcony she and Azriel had when they’d been given a room to share, but it was close enough. Emerie didn’t dare speak when they landed, folding her wings tight against her body and too late, Gwyn realized her friend could fly.

She wanted to ask how, noting the scars still present on her wings. Emeries eyes gleamed, as if she, too, had been waiting for Gwyn to notice. There was pride there, beaming back, and a promise to tell Gwyn everything she’d missed once they were able to. So much had happened while she was gone, and Gwyn felt so disconnected from all of it.

A pang of longing shot through her as she slipped through the window, not bothering to open the door. There was no need. She wasn’t alone, either—Gwyn was well aware one of his shadows still trailed after her, likely at his direction. She felt it wrap itself around her throat, a reminder she wasn’t alone and hadn’t been since Eris had taken her.

He never should have. 

The memory of the encroaching dark, of that voice, crept back into her memory. In the confusion of Autumn, Gwyn had nearly forgotten about it, but when she slipped from the dusty, empty room, she found herself terrified it still lurked. Gwyn felt the cold leech into her bones, moving through the shadows so silently it made her ears ring.

But she didn’t hear the voice, didn’t see the darkness. It was a relief, truly, given how badly she wanted to get home. All she wanted was to find Az, her books, and get back onto solid, familiar ground. Gwyn wanted to wrap her arms around him, bury her face in his neck, and breathe in deep. 

Soon, she told herself, opening the door to what had once been her bedroom. The smell of stale blood slammed into her before she saw the utter destruction. Tables splintered, book pages scattered, her cipher still gone. She knew that was likely buried in the archives of Day, though it didn’t matter. The scholar hadn’t taken her book, though pages had been torn out. 

Gwyn reached for the leather bound book, tucking it beneath her arm before looking toward the bedroom. Azriel wasn’t here, and if she had to guess, it was his blood she was smelling. His scent was still all over the bedroom, but the male himself nowhere to be found. 

“He’s not dead, is he?” she whispered, pulling on that bond in her chest. Surely she would feel it if he was. She would know if he was suffering and in pain…wouldn’t she? Or would she only know if she accepted the bond? 

His shadow slithered around her, reassuring her he was still alive somewhere. Gwyn imagined his shadows would cease to exist if he did, too. 

“Come on,” she whispered, slipping back into the darkness. It seemed almost too easy, which set her on edge. Something had to happen—Gwyn simply didn’t believe coming back and escaping Autumn could be so easy.

But maybe it was. Emerie was still where Gwyn had left her, wings tucked tight against her body. They said nothing as Gwyn slipped back onto the balcony ledge, heart pounding so roughly it made her bones ache. They descended back to the beach where Nesta was waiting like an attack animal. Her whole body was taut, coiled like a spring and her eyes were more silver flames than blue.

“This way,” she murmured. Gwyn wanted to tell them no—that it was a mistake to follow this line of thinking, but curiosity won out. Whatever Nesta sensed was worth investigating, as Nesta wasn’t typically the aggressor in any situation. If Nesta felt like they ought to see what was happening, Gwyn was happy to follow after. 

She wished, like her friends, she was wearing something more than the same blood-stained dress from that morning. As they walked, Emerie pulled out one of the twin blades strapped to her back and handed it to Gwyn without a word, the three forever, wordlessly in sync. They climbed the half sand, half spiky grass incline, unable to see their footing in the dark. Gwyn wondered what Nesta knew.

What had the wind whispered to her? 

“There,” Nesta murmured when they were halfway up, nodding her head toward violent, orange flames. Gwyn’s heart sank when she saw what Nesta had already found—Beron Vanserra, flanked by his horrible sons, speaking to Gunnar the Horrible himself. They were too far away to be anything more than pricks in the distance, illuminated by the flames wreathed around Beron’s head.

Gwyn knew this was about her. Choking on the salt air, she wanted to run. Her joints felt rusty, stiff as Nesta crept closer, ignoring that once they got off the incline, there was nowhere left to hide.

“Can you hear them?” Emerie asked, but Nesta shook her head. Wisps of golden brown hair blew from the braid crowned around her face, brushed impatiently from her illuminated eyes. Nesta looked like an animal, some terrible predator right then, crouching low to try and see what they were doing. 

They’d need to get closer.

It was suicide. They knew it. Nesta didn’t have the powers of a Death God anymore, though Gwyn had no idea what had been left behind. Enough to get them to the continent, and clearly more still given the way her eyes reflected the moonlight overhead. Emeries green siphons gleamed when she flexed her fingers, channeling whatever magic was inherent to Illyrians and set into the gloves on her hands. Unlike Azriel and Cassian, who bore seven, Emerie only had two.

Still, no other female in Illyrian history had ever worn one. 

And then there was Gwyn, with her flame and her sword, both no match for a High Lord. Were they going to confront him? It was a deciding moment—the wind swirled around them, dragging their scent toward the Vanserra’s and betraying them before they ever made a conscious choice. She saw Eris’s head whip to the side, though his expression was impossible to read from a distance. 

“If we’re clever,” Emerie whispered, rising to her feet with Gwyn and Nesta, “we’ll kill him before he has a chance to kill us.”

“How?” Nesta asked, taking another step closer, her mouth pressed into a thin line. 

“A distraction,” Gwyn replied, eyes darting between their friends. “Don’t ask questions—there isn’t time, but I’m a Vanserra.”

Both her friends turned to look at her, mouths half open. “Surprise,” Gwyn added with a weak smile she wasn’t convinced they could see. “I’ll be the distraction.”

“Gwyn—”

“No time,” Gwyn replied, wishing the shadow could speak with her. It braceleted around her wrist for a moment before darting into the dark, a silent witness to either her triumph or her death. It was lunacy, truly, to hope this worked—in reality, she was more likely to see her friends casually killed before she was dragged back to Autumn.

Gwyn knew she’d never be able to show her face back in Night if they died. How could she look Cassian in the eye and tell him it was her fault his mate was dead? How could she ever face Azriel? She took a breath, hands clammy and cold as they finished their ascent toward the top of the cliff face. Gunnar was gone, at least—that left the High Lord, his sons, and the Heir apparent to contend with. Hardly good odds, but better than if they also had a king and the consolidated power of seven High Lords bearing down on her, too.

They moved toward the Vanserra’s, ignoring the way none of them had pulled out a weapon. They didn’t need to, truly—Beron could set them all ablaze from the inside out before they had time to take three steps. Distraction, she reminded herself, though Gwyn had no clue how to go about it.

It would come to her, she decided. As long as she could keep his eyes on her and not her friends. 

Beron Vanserra stood on the edge of the cliff where sand no longer met the sea. Instead, the violent waves crashed viciously against the basalt, dragging little bits of rock back out each time. How long before the sea chipped away at the wall, taking the horrible palace with it? 

“Didn’t make it far, did you?” Beron sneered, igniting the darkness around them with a casual flick of his fingers. “I would have thought you’d have crawled beneath the skirts of your stupid High Lady rather than risk returning.”

Gwyn shrugged casually. “I don’t think intelligence runs in the family.”

One of the Vanserra brothers turned their head, as if to conceal their amusement. Gwyn didn’t know what to make of that. Beron ignored her little jab, perhaps satisfied that she was only related to him by marriage and not blood. Did he think his wife was stupid, then? 

“I told you to stay,” Eris interrupted, smoother than he’d been when he’d been whispering orders to her in the Forest House. “We would have made a clean exchange.”

“You still could,” Gwyn commented, bracketed by her friends. Nesta and Emerie were silent, inconsequential to the males that surrounded them. She knew they saw three females playing dress-up with swords, but they’d taken down Illyrian warriors better trained than the likes of which Autumn could provide. 

“I could also kill you,” Beron said, eyes flickering between the three of them. “Your High Lord won’t notice the difference…if he’s noticed your absence at all.”

Nesta straightened her spine, causing the High Lord himself to take a half-step backward without thinking. She frightened him. Nesta knew it, baring her teeth in a feral smile that made all the males before them flinch. 

“Come with me,” Beron began, ignoring the way the wind had picked up around them, half drowning his words in the water below. “I’ll…”

Nesta had inclined her head, a wide, terrifying smile spreading over her beautiful face. It wasn’t the wind, she realized, that was whipping around, but air from large, powerful wings.

Illyrian wings.

A moment later the ground shook as Cassian descended, terrifying in his power. Red siphons gleamed in the dark, flaring when he saw Nesta standing so casually a few feet away. He wasn’t alone. Gwyn wouldn’t have recognized that male with her eyes closed, hands tied behind her back. She knew the cold scent of him, the way his hair fell after he’d been airborne, how his left foot touched the grass mere moments before his left.

Azriel had come, the living embodiment of one of the death gods of old. In the dark, all she saw were blue siphons and hazel eyes even as the sound of Illyrian steel sang loudly. 

“Beron,” Cassian said, strolling forward casually, as if this were little more than a social visit. Azriel, though, only looked at her, those cat-like eyes raking over her with lethal concern. She wanted to tell him she was fine. 

She wanted to tell him a lot of things. 

Instead, Gwyn ripped on the mating bond, deciding that there was no better time than when they were facing down a treasonous High Lord to force this knowledge on him. His eyes widened, nostrils flaring and oh. There it was. Recognition of what she was, which, in retrospect, was maybe not her best move.

Cassian was happy to play distraction, though as he came closer and closer. It occurred to Gwyn only then that Cassian and Azriel shouldn’t know they were here. How? She looked from her mate to Eris, who was studiously staring at his father with a deceptively blank face. Traitor, she almost said—but why betray him when this only helped her? 

“The brutes have arrived,” Beron sneered, clearly unconcerned. “Where is the half-breed you call a High Lord?”

“Busy,” Cassian replied with a shrug of his powerful shoulders. No one would call Beron Vanserra small. He was nearly as tall as Eris, and about as muscular, too. But neither male had anything on Cassian, who towered over them easily and packed more muscle on his frame than both males combined. In a hand to hand fight, Gwyn imagined Cassian could crush them both with relative ease.

Eris’s gaze cut to Azriel, who slithered through the dark silently, wings pulled tight against his back. Beron hadn’t noticed the shadowsinger positioning himself defensively, a mistake he was likely to regret. They had a better plan, one that could be ruined and wrecked if Beron made a move toward Nesta.

If Beron made a move toward her. She saw the hunger on Azriels face, cold as a knifes edge as he prowled silently. His shadows trailed like smoke from his shoulders, occasionally obscuring half his face. What did they whisper? 

What did he whisper in return? 

“I don’t have time for this,” Beron said, turning those brown eyes back to Gwyn. “Walk away or I’ll kill all of you.”

Except the girl, those eyes said. Why was she so important to him? Kill me too, she wanted to scream! She didn’t dare, still standing before Beron. 

Cassian pretended to think about it, his hazel eyes cutting toward Nesta only once, just to be sure she was fine. Satisfied by whatever words were silently shared between them, Cassian’s full, deadly attention. No one dared to move, terrified of the showdown. Could Cassian take on a High Lord?

Nesta shifted on her feet. 

No. 

“Why don’t you go home, and I’ll consider not telling the other six High Lords that you’re here,” Cassian replied, his voice taking on lethal quality. “This is treason.”

“It’s like they say,” Beron replied, nodding toward his terrible sons, “about dead males telling tales.”

He struck with brutal ferocity—it should have ended Cassian right then and there. He’d forgotten Azriel, who struck out with his elbow against Beron’s unguarded spine. The flames meant for Cassian arced, slamming into Nesta’s chest roughly. Cassian roared furiously, sword swinging through the air. It was treason itself to execute a foreign High Lord—the other six could demand Rhys hand Cassian over and face justice.

Cassian clearly didn’t care, his eyes wild with rage. Azriel has his swords out as well, taking on the three Vanserras while Beron turned to Cassian and Nesta. Gwyn and Emerie turned to help Azriel, but Eris had grabbed her, one arm rough around her throat.

“Help me and I’ll owe you,” Eris snarled in her ear, pressing his blade to her throat. “Help me and I’ll do anything you ask.”

Gwyn went still, the only thing she could do to communicate that she would help him. She still held Emerie’s sword in one hand, limp at her side as Eris turned her toward Cassian and Azriel. Everyone went still—quiet. 

“I’ll kill her,” Eris swore, a laugh in his voice. “I don’t think anyone wants that. Right, Azriel?”

Azriel bared his teeth in response, blood dripping from a thin, already healing cut against his jaw.

“This is how things are going to go,” Eris said, taking a step toward the grassy ledge. “We’re going to leave and you’re going to let us or I’ll…” Eris mimed cutting Gwyn’s throat as Azriel threw out a scarred hand half hidden beneath his fingerless gloves.

Their eyes met and she saw the plain, unguarded fear of a male who knew he was about to lose something. And right then, Gwyn knew that Azriel had known they were mates far longer than she had. Her stomach churned at the realization, but she wanted Eris to owe her.

When it came time to deal with Monteserre, she needed Eris and there was no guarantee he’d help without calling in their bargain. 

“Who knew Illyrians were so soft,” Beron taunted, clearly amused. Eris’s free hand slid down Gwyns arm, squeezing the wrist still holding the sword. She couldn’t see his face, though she could guess it was his usual smug, sneering expression meant to piss Azriel off. 

“Is the threat against a female enough to stay your blade?” Beron questioned, turning his back to Eris and Gwyn so he could laugh at Cassian and Azriel. Cassian was on one knee, hand on Nesta’s back as she tried to catch her breath after the blow from Beron’s magic. 

They would never have a better moment.

“Now,” Eris breathed. Was he aware of how Azriel’s eyes tracked her every movement? Was he aware of what she was doing? 

I’m sorry, she tried to tell him silently, though the only thing Gwyn was truly sorry for was the grief her actions might cause him later on. Eris pushed her forward as her blade came up. Gwyn didn’t let herself think about what she was doing—she simply drove that sword directly into Beron Vanserra’s unprotected back. 

The High Lord, still taunting Cassian with the flames licking his fingers, gasped. Eris stepped forward as his brother tightened their ranks. Gwyn saw one had a rather brutal cut running up his face, courtesy of Azriel.

Just for good measure, Gwyn twisted the blade before ripping it back out. In that moment, he wasn’t just Beron. He was the male who’d ripped her clothing to ribbon, the males who’d held her down, who’d laughed as they took something that did not belong to them. 

Eris finished the job, grabbing a fistful of his fathers hair to crane his neck back so far Gwyn heard the bones groan. Eris murmured something in his father’s ear before removing his head from his shoulders in one clean motion.

No one moved save for Eris, who wiped the blood from his face with his otherwise immaculate jacket sleeve.

“Well,” Eris said, licking his lips. “This was fun. Remember what I told you, Gwyneth. We’ll be seeing each other soon.”

And then he was gone, vanishing in a pop alongside his battered brothers.

Nesta looked up, strands of long hair hanging from her braid as Emerie went to Gwyn, pulling her in a hug. Gwyn let her, heart racing.

“What was that?” Nesta panted.

“Doesn’t matter,” Cassian replied, hauling Nesta into his arms. “We need to leave. Now.”

Azriel ground his jaw together, eyes still pinning her in place. Gwyn felt herself shaking and right then, she didn’t think she wanted him to touch her. Maybe she didn’t deserve it. 

Cassian murmured something to Nesta, cradled against his chest. 

“I’ll take you home,” Azriel murmured to both Gwyn and Emerie. Nesta wouldn’t have the strength to take them all back—it would be a miracle if she didn’t drop Cassian over the ocean. Azriel hesitated, as if he wanted to put his hand on her before settling it on Emerie’s shoulder. Gwyn closed her eyes while his shadows swarmed, whispering in her ear that language she didn’t understand.

And when she opened them, she was home.

AZRIEL:

“Are you stupid?” Rhys thundered, eyes darting between Cassian and Az. Azriel winced, still miserable from his near escape. The bruised hadn’t healed, his wounds barking at him. Feyre offered him a pained smile, which wounded Azriel far more than Rhys’s rage. Rhys, at least, understood Azriel—this was just how he was, how he’d always been.

But Feyre had been tending to him when he’d felt Gwyn rip on the bond and Azriel had lied to her to get to Cassian, and then back to Montessere. The worst part was, Azriel wasn’t even sorry. Their eyes met for just a moment before Feyre looked away, unwilling to go against Rhys.

“A High Lord is dead—”

“Eris killed him,” Azriel said flatly. He’d go to his grave saying so, and if Eris tried to say differently, there’d be a third High Lord crowned in Autumn by the end of the week. Cassian didn’t react to Azriel’s words as Rhys’s face darkened.

“Don’t lie to me,” he hissed. “Don’t treat me as if you don’t trust me.”

“Why are you mad, brother?” Cassian asked, adopting a lopsided smile they all knew was covering his exhaustion. Like Azriel, all Cassian wanted to do was get up to the House of Wind and see his mate.

If Gwyn even wanted to see him. He recognized that look on her face—the place she went to when she couldn’t stop her own thoughts. She’d killed Beron and then he’d lost her, and Azriel wasn’t sure how to pull her back. For all he knew, she’d retreated back into the library where he’d never reach her.

The thought made his chest ache.

“I’m mad that you went behind my back to another continent and helped one of my priestesses slaughter another High Lord!”

“Eris killed him,” Azriel repeated.

Rhys pinched the bridge of his nose. “As you’ve continued to say since you stepped foot in my home and yet I can read your fucking mind, Azriel.”

Eat shit, he thought loudly, holding Rhys’s gaze. Rhys took one step toward Azriel before Feyre sprang up from her place on the leather sofa, hand pressed to his chest.

“This isn’t helping,” she snapped at her mate. “If Azriel says Eris killed Beron, then Eris killed Beron. I doubt Eris is going to contradict that story.”

“Because I have his mate—” Rhys snapped his mouth shut when Feyre threw him a look that silenced him. Before Feyre, Rhys would have lectured them all night and into the next afternoon, never tiring of the sound of his own voice. That thought drew Rhys’s eyes to Azriel’s face again, but he simply couldn’t bring himself to care. He needed to sleep.

He needed to see Gwyn.

“Let's regroup in the morning,” Feyre murmured, rubbing her fingers over her lips. “Shouting isn’t accomplishing anything.”

“I disagree. It’s making me feel better,” Rhys grumbled, but Azriel was already on his feet and halfway to the door. Cassian said nothing, though Azriel could feel his eyes on his back, the question half formed on his lips. He didn’t know what to say, in part because he still didn’t know why Gwyn had left him the morning before, and he didn’t know why she didn’t want to see him now.

Please be here, he begged before leaping into the air to take flight. The wind against his wings used to settle him—but now it felt like nothing at all, like going through the motions. Wracked with anxiety, Azriel let his thoughts run away. Was she angry she’d had to kill Beron to save them all? Did she regret the knowledge that they were mates? Did she wish for someone better, someone less broken, someone who could keep her safe? 

Azriel was forever showing up after the worst had happened, useless to her and with nothing to offer. He’d imagined swooping in and saving her, protecting her from whatever frightened her. Instead he’d stood helplessly while Eris held a dagger to her throat, well aware that if he lunged, Eris would kill her before Azriel could stop him. 

His feet slammed against the training pad hard enough to make his teeth rattle. Azriel shook out his hands to try and get them to stop trembling, but it was no use. If he waited too long, Cassian would arrive and he’d want to talk. Azriel had all but begged Cassian, using Nesta’s absence to get Cassian to help him without involving Rhys.

He’d sworn to explain it all when they arrived.

It was a few steps into the house, where oppressive, near angry silence greeted him. Azriel made his way through familiar rooms, ducking head inside each one to find only darkness instead. No Gwyn. She was nowhere to be found. He had no right to go into the library to look for her, and with a dejected sigh, knew he’d have to beg a favor off Nesta if he was going to talk to her.

It wasn’t a surprise, though. Deep down, he’d always known a mate would go this way, hadn’t he? It was what made wanting Mor, and then Elain, so easy—there was no danger in rejection. They’d already made it clear he’d never have them outside of his fantasies.

But Gwyn had been real, and for a moment she’d also been his. 

Telling himself his memories were enough, Azriel made his way to his bedroom, pulling his shirt over his wings to throw it angrily at the wall when he stepped into the room.

“Smells like blood,” a soft voice murmured. Azriel snapped his fingers, igniting the faelights overhead, to find Gwyn half asleep in the chair by the window as she pulled his shirt off her face.

“And sweat. Have you stopped bathing, shadowsinger?”

She stood as he froze in the doorway, drinking her in. The freckles on her face seemed starker, her skin just a little too pale for his liking. But other than the exhausting shadowing her pretty eyes, she was otherwise unharmed.

Gwyn cocked her head, that cinnamon colored hair spilling over slim shoulders. Oh right—he was supposed to speak. Azriel took a half-drunk step, and then another and another, until he’d crossed the room. It had been his intention to hold her face in his hands, but his legs were shaking so badly he slammed to the ground, knees hitting the wood with brutal force. Azriel looked up, fisting the edges of her dress in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he rasped, trying so hard to swallow the emotions rising through him. “Fuck, I’m so—”

Gwyn’s fingers were in his hair, nails dragging along his scalp. She was far more careful as she lowered herself to the ground—and it was her who took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her.

“For what?” she whispered, teal eyes bouncing between his own. “You came exactly when I needed you.”

He shook his head. It wasn’t right to let her absolve him so easily. He didn’t deserve it. “I let them take you—”

“Stop it,” she whispered, mashing her thumb against his lips. “Eris Vanserra is a prick well outside your control.”

“Ask me to kill him,” Azriel mumbled, his words slurred beneath her touch. He didn’t want her to take her fingers from his mouth. 

“It’s tempting,” she admitted as she ran her knuckles over his cheek. “I do love seeing you covered in blood.”

He laughed weakly, though he hardly felt better. “Are you hurt?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” she replied, frowning as she took one of his gloved hands in hers to examine his trembling fingers. How did he explain the source of his fear was her? That his every waking thought was plagued by her, that Azriel hadn’t had a restful night since he’d met her? “What happened?”

Azriel told her, watching her face grow paler and paler until he stopped himself entirely to try and soften her disappointment. He could have done better—he’d been sloppy, and he’d gotten caught. 

“Can I…” she cocked her head to the side, looking him up and down. “Will you sleep with me tonight?” 

He knew she was asking in an attempt to get him in bed, but Azriel was willing if she was coming with him. He nodded, afraid if he said anything he might give too much away. Was he a coward for not telling her everything? For not asking her about the one thing that mattered above all else? 

He didn’t want to face her rejection. Not when she was taking his hand in hers and leading him to the bed. There was no grace to his actions as he tripped out of his boots, and then his pants. She’d seen him naked more than once, and yet this felt impossibly intimate, stripping to nothing before pulling a pair of sleep shorts up over his waist. Gwyn merely sat on the bed cross-legged, her eyes never leaving him. 

“Sometimes it doesn’t feel real,” she murmured when he stood at the foot of his overly large bed.

“What doesn’t?” he questioned, realizing he’d never had a female in this bed before. It wasn’t technically his—it was merely the room he’d been utilizing since Nesta had been brought up, though he was terribly fond of it. When was the last time he’d had a female in his personal space at all?

Typically, Azriel preferred to go back with them.

“You,” she said, pulling him from his thoughts. “I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and it’ll all have been a really nice dream.”

Azriel had to grip the bed post to keep from falling on his face. “You think that?” he asked, certain he’d misheard her. 

Gwyn nodded, biting her lower lip. “It doesn’t seem possible that I…that you…”

He was crawling up the bed, pulling her into his lap before she could finish that absurd sentence. Azriel pressed his mouth to her hair, breathing in the soft, sweet scent of her. “You could do better.”

Gwyn laughed loudly, twisting in his lap to look at him. “Oh, you’re serious. That’s embarrassing, Az, even for you.”

Azriel couldn’t look away—and he didn’t feel embarrassed, either. Didn’t she think that? She ought to. 

“Gwyn,” he murmured, because he needed her to know, “you can walk away. You…maybe you  should—”

Her fingers were mashed against his lips again, effectively silencing him all over again. “How long did you know? About us, I mean? About this?” She ripped on the bond, causing him to gasp slightly.

Was it better to tell her the truth or lie? He couldn’t tell what she wanted, her face unreadable save for the amusement in her eyes.

“A while,” he admitted. 

She nodded her head. “And you didn’t think to mention this?”

He offered her a dry laugh. “I’m not a saint, Gwyn. I wanted to be around you.”

“I thought you didn’t know,” she told him with a pretty smile. “When I realized, I just assumed you were oblivious, but this whole time…weren’t you suffering?

Yes.

He shrugged, feeling defensive. “I would have waited longer. Five hundred years were nothing…I would have waited five hundred more.”

“What if I don’t want you to?” she asked, cheeks warming. Azriel’s heart raced at the implication. She wanted to accept? He’d been so focused on simply keeping her around, of making her love him, that he’d never allowed himself to get this far in his fantasies. Maybe he hadn’t dared, for fear of wanting it and then realizing he’d never get it. 

Finally, Azriel took her face in his, lifting it as he swept his thumbs across soft cheeks. Real, this is real— “I love you.”

He’d never said those words out loud to anyone. He’d thought them in his head, had let his actions betray him, but he’d never once, in all the years he’d been alive, ever told anyone. He’d tried, once—and had been thwarted before he’d been able to finish.

Gwyn didn’t interrupt him, though. Didn’t bolt out of his lap or turn from him. She smiled, brilliant as the first rays of a golden dawn illuminating a violet sky. “Well, that’s lucky, because I love you, too.”

Fuck.

Nothing had ever felt better than hearing her reciprocate his feelings. Azriel exhaled the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, unaware that he was smiling too. Not, at least, until his cheeks ached from the prolonged effort, of the foreignness of smiling so freely, so easily. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t know,” she whispered, the word trailing off in a soft giggle. “I thought I was so obvious.”

Embarrassed, Azriel only shrugged. He’d never been that good at reading people's emotions—at least, when it came to himself. “I thought you wanted to sleep,” he murmured, lips pressed to her head. “You should sleep.”

“I want to talk,” she admitted as he dragged them both down to the bed, tucking her against his chest so he could blanket her with a wing. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in years.”

“When I get my hands on Vanserra…”

Eris was going to finish what he started years ago during the High Lord’s meeting. He was going to destroy Eris’s pretty face before sheathing his dagger in the ventricles of the spoiled Autumn prince's heart. He’d take his time—make it painful, make it hurt. 

“Don’t,” Gwyn said, tempering his desire for violence. “He was only acting on his father’s wishes.”

“He's always acting on Beron’s wishes,” Azriel snarled, not half as forgiving. “He could act against them, but he’s a coward.”

She sighed. “He owes me a favor of my choosing for helping him.”

“Tell him to kill himself,” Azriel said without an ounce of remorse. Gwyn twisted in his arms so he could see her roll her eyes.

“We’ll need him. Kai is dead.”

“I know,” Azriel whispered. “They think you killed him.”

Her eyes went wide, and whispering, Gwyn told him everything that had transpired. The whispering darkness, the flames, Eris coming to the rescue before betraying her. Azriel didn’t say a word as cold dread spread through him.

Whispering darkness…

“What did the voice sound like? Male? Female—”

“Male,” she said as he tried not to react at all. “And cold. Cruel.”

Kissing her temple, Azriel kept his thoughts far from her watchful gaze. He didn’t want to think about it, not right then. Not when she leaned forward, pressing her own lips to the hollow of his throat. 

“I still want you.”

Fuck. All the air escaped him in one long, low breath. He wanted her too—so badly it made his teeth ache.

“If we start, I don’t think I could stop,” he admitted, ignoring the way his cock was responding in his shorts. It took almost nothing—a blink of teal eyes, a flash of a smile, a touch of her hand and Azriel wanted her pinned beneath him. 

“What if I don’t want you to stop?”

Azriel exhaled another shaky breath. “Gwyn…”

“Are you going to make me beg, shadowsinger—”

Azriel couldn’t abide by it. Couldn’t listen to her ask him to give her the one thing he was constantly thinking about. Why was he denying himself when he knew both Cassian and Rhys would have never? He knew from experience, having lived with both and forced to witness not just the ungodly noises, but the smells that lingered for days. 

And here he was, trying to be honorable. He kissed her, fingers sliding to her hair to grip tightly, to keep her from darting away. It wasn’t particularly gentle, though he hadn’t intended to be rough, either. He simply kissed her with the pent up emotion he’d kept leashed for so long. 

Gwyn didn’t hesitate, one hand sliding around the back of his neck to hold him against her. Laying back, Azriel rolled over her as he half devoured his mate. It felt good, he realized, to think the words aloud. To know she knew, to be desired by her. All the years of waiting, of wondering—of assuming he hadn’t been granted one and never would be—evaporated beneath the soft pads of her fingers. 

For the first time, Azriel wished he was eloquent like Rhys. He wished words came easy—the right ones, especially—and he could simply tell her what she meant to him. The depth of his devotion, the intensity of his feelings. Azriel had never been that kind of male and he didn’t think he was capable of change.

He’d never use poetry—he didn’t know how, to be fair. But he could show her. Somehow, given this didn’t seem the appropriate place to try and convey the depths of his feeling. Not when he was pressing his erect cock between her parted legs. Was it a bad time to tell her he loved her, too? It felt easier to say it when his tongue was in her mouth. Impatient, Azriel ripped at the neckline of her dress, causing Gwyn to gasp.

“That was nice,” she whispered.

“I hate it,” he replied, though in truth he had no strong feelings surrounding it. It was simply in his way. He wanted to see her all splayed out again. 

Scratch that.

“I need to taste you,” he breathed, shoving at the ruined material until she managed to shimmy her way out of it. “I need you on my face.”

“On?” she squeaked, but he’d rolled them around, laying flat on his back with his wings splayed beneath him. Illyrians were wary of such a position and the danger it posed. If your wings were pinned, you couldn’t escape, couldn’t fight. 

But this was his mate, and Azriel would submit to her. Only her.

Even if this was the kind of submission he daydreamed about day and night. Gwyn didn’t protest, utterly naked as he slid his body down the bed until his feet dangled off the edge so he could get his mouth beneath her cunt. 

“Az—”

He wasn’t listening, though. This was all he needed—this would fix him. All his aches and pains could be soothed by the taste of her body. She fell forward, causing him to curl his arms around her thighs to keep her from squirming away. He realized, only in retrospect, that she was holding the edge of the headboard, head between her shoulders so she could watch. 

Their eyes met for only a moment before hers fluttered shut, lips parted as she moaned softly. Pretty thing, he thought privately. 

With her legs spread wide, Azriel didn’t need to use his fingers to make it easier to taste her. She helped, rolling her hips against his face as he licked the length of her over and over. He felt captive, held beneath her as she took what she wanted. It was too ambitious to hope she’d tie him up and continue to have her way with him, but maybe in the morning he’d convince her to use the rope he had coiled up in his dresser. 

He’d teach her to use the right kind of knot, first, or he’d cheat and untie himself so he could touch her. He simply couldn’t help himself—she was so beautiful, so soft and he was so, so weak when it came to her. Azriel had promised himself to take care of her, and he wasn’t sure sitting her on his face so he could lick her cunt counted. 

Still, she wasn’t complaining. In fact, she was moaning in that soft, sweet way of hers, unaware that his own cock was throbbing painfully, a bead of moisture rolling down his shaft. He wished he’d positioned her the other way so she could at least touch him.

Though, he wasn’t opposed to a little torture. Not if it came from her. What was a little more waiting, in the scheme of things? 

“Az,” she whispered, threading her fingers through his hair. Her nails scraped along his scalp, drawing a breathless groan from his lips. Gwyn’s hips jerked and oh. Did she like that? Azriel did it again, delighted when she rolled rougher, pressed herself fully against him. She’d been holding herself up on her knees before but now she was all but seated. It took little effort from him to pull her the rest of the way down so his senses were engulfed.

This was how he wanted to die, he decided. When it was his time, he’d order the healer to press her naked body against his face so the last things he knew were of her. Her taste, her smell, her body—Gwyn, Gwyn, Gwyn.

Azriel let her chase her pleasure, turning himself into little more than a tool for her to use. If he’d reached down to stroke himself, he’d have finished before she did, a fact that would have once embarrassed him. Now he didn’t care—maybe it had taken so long with all those other females because he was simply waiting on her.

He half wished he’d waited, that they could have experienced this for the first time together. And the other part—the part that was more animal, more male, less rational—was grateful to have enough experience to know how to please her, to take care of her, to give her what she needed. 

Azriel slid his tongue into her body, holding her tight while he mimicked what he was about to do with his cock. 

Gwyn’s fingers tightened in his hair, tugging at his scalp. Her hips canted frantically and when he moved back to her clit, she cried out, thighs clenching so tight around his face that he could scarcely breathe. 

He’d never been more aroused in his life.

As she rode out her orgasm, Azriel released his grip on her to pull his shorts to his knees, kicking them off gracelessly before sliding her down his torso. Her slick cunt left a trail against his skin, dampening the hair just beneath his navel. 

“Fuck,” he panted when her fingers dug into his chest, hair curtained around her flushed face. “Kiss me.”

She leaned down, rubbing that pretty cunt against the shaft of his cock as she kissed him. Gwyn moaned when he fisted his fingers in her hair, claiming her with searing heat. Did she taste herself on his tongue? Did she like it the way he did? Azriel hoped so. He barely noticed the way she’d rearranged herself, too focused on the heat of her body touching his desperate cock, until he felt her line herself up with him. 

Oh, gods. Azriel pulled away to watch her sink slowly down his shaft. It was the most erotic thing he’d ever seen in his entire life, causing vivid, white stars to explode behind his eyes. This was heaven and hell and wrapped up together. He felt brand new and ancient and old all at once. 

Gwyn moaned once he was fully seated inside her.

“What have you done to me?” she whispered, brushing a kiss beneath his jaw.

“Nothing you didn’t ask for,” he replied, though he wasn’t certain that was true. Gwyn still laughed, pushing herself up until her nails were embedded in his pectorals. The little prick of pain was heaven, especially when she rolled her hips, dragging his cock along the tight, wet heat of her body. It was Azriel’s turn to jerk as though he were a puppet and she controlled the string.

“Is that what you like?” she whispered, eyes darker than he’d ever seen them. 

“I like you,” he replied, reaching for her pretty, bouncing breasts. 

“Yeah?” she replied, tossing her head back.

“And I love you,” he added, just in case she’d forgotten. Her skin was shimmering with soft, sweet light and he wondered if he was, too. He’d spent so long bathed in shadow that it was strange to have that moonlit glow fall over him, to feel seen even in the dark. 

He was never going to be over her. How did Rhys and Cassian do it, he wondered? How did they go about their lives? Did the wanting fade? Or did they simply grit their teeth and leave anyway, mind always half occupied with their mate?

Azriel ran his hands down the soft curve of her body, cupping her ass cheeks, which nestled perfectly in the palm of his hand. Lifting her, Azriel decided he could do the majority of the work and still enjoy the view if he liked—and he did. 

“Look at my pretty mate,” he whispered, trying the word out loud for the first time. “Look at how well she takes my cock.”

Gwyn let out a breathy moan.

“Is this what you like?” he asked, thrusting himself into her body. He was testing the limits of what she could take—how much, how fast, how rough. He wanted to build her into it, to hear her beg for more. They had time—more time than he dared to contemplate. There was no use in rushing her, making her feel unsafe or scared.

She’d felt that way for too long, besides. Azriel wanted to be her home. And if the world continued to try and harm her, they’d have to contend with him, first. And second. And third. 

“Az,” she whispered, not answering the question. Moving one hand between her legs, Azriel began to tease her clit as he stroked, keeping himself steady even when his muscles began to groan in protest. He kept forgetting he’d been injured, that technically he had no business doing this.

Oh, well.

It was worth it, he decided. His body would heal, besides, and if nothing else, Azriel assumed he’d sleep like a baby when they finished. If they ever finished. He never wanted to remove himself from her body, wanted to live this way, her always flush against him, chest to chest, skin to skin.

“Are you going to come for me, pretty thing?” She only moaned in response. He could feel her body tightening around him, could feel the rush of heat that made his own sac tighten against his body. Azriel had to clench his ass to keep from coming first, his own arousal overwhelming. Pleasure was a beast, clawing at his throat as it demanded release.

“Please,” she whispered mere seconds before she came on his cock. Azriel lost it, his rhythm slipping to frantic, near animalistic jerking. He came a second later, blacking out his vision and eroding the remainder of his good sense. Nesta and Cassian almost certainly heard him, though Azriel didn’t care. After what they’d subjected him to, this was the least they deserved. 

Azriel pulled her against him. “Again,” he murmured against her neck. She felt it, too—felt what he had the first time they’d been together. 

Gwyn only smiled.

It was nearly dawn before Gwyn fell asleep, exhausted and worn out from his endless attention. She’d wake, and he’d have her again—and he rather liked the sight of her hair splayed over his chest as she slept on his shoulder. He wanted to stay where he was, but he couldn’t. 

Careful not to wake her, Azriel rose from the bed they currently shared, slipped a pair of shorts over his hips, and made his way to the window at the far end of the room. His shadows, once scattered, began to slip in and swarm. Azriel took a breath, inhaling the crisp, mountain air.

“She heard the voice,” he whispered in that secret language, turning his eyes toward the rising dawn. “He spoke to her.”His shadows stilled for a moment before circling around him, silent for once. Azriel had never questioned where they’d come from—who might have bestowed the gift of the shadowsinger on him. It was so rare it was nearly undocumented—so few had ever had the power to call upon darkness the way he did. The magic was poorly understood, though Rhys had tried. They didn’t understand—was it the Illyrian in Azriel that made it possible, or some hidden Night Court lineage? 

Azriel had never questioned it. Not until right then. “Do you know?”

His shadows tightened around him as darkness blurred at his vision. They were loyal to him—only him—but they knew. 

“You know me,” that cold voice whispered. “I’ve been waiting a long time for you.”

Azriel slammed his mind shut, inhaling sharply through his nose. Turning his head, he found Gwyn still asleep in bed. He needed to talk to Rhys. 

And he would. 

Another day.

[shadowsatdawnx]

thinking about how SJM confirmed it would be elain’s book after nesta’s years ago, before ACOSF or gw*nriel were even a thing-

also thinking about how SJM has stated that she knew which couples the first two spin offs would be about, again, before ACOSF or gwyn even existed.

thinking about how el*cien’s relationship regressed even further in ACOSF to the point where it would be entirely unbelievable now for her to do a complete 180 on them and get them to fall in love in the span of a single book (which is what would have to happen since the next book is elain’s.) even by the end of ACOTAR, feyre and rhysand clearly had some kind of genuine feelings between them, while el*cien has nothing but discomfort and unhappiness and have had since ACOMAF to progress and haven’t. they’ve only gone backwards.

thinking about how SJM finally confirmed in ACOSF, after four books, that azriel and elain shared their feelings for each other but were forced apart by outside factors.

if 2+2=4 then why do we still have so many people in this fandom insisting that 2+2=8?

if SJM is such a fated mates author, why even have it be a question? why not reveal that it’s going to be elain and lucien’s book like she did with nesta and cassian?

because it isn’t going to be elain and lucien’s book. it isn’t going to be azriel and gwyn’s book. it never was. it’s going to be elain and azriel’s book.

[valkyriesno1fan]

Hi! I want to start by saying that I'm an Elriel, but my question is meant with literally zero hate. I don't want to start any more conflict, and I hope this doesn't come across like that. I'm just very curious about something.

When Gwynriels talk about Gwynriel's/Gwyn's book, what do you mean exactly? Because I really don't understand. Are you saying you think the next book will have Gwyn/Az as main characters (like Nessian in ACOSF), or that it'll be another Nesta book and therefore Gwyn will have a very important role in it and we'll see her relationship with Az grow "in the background" (as in we won't get their pov, just Nesta's)? Because ACOTAR (as a series) is at its core about the Archeron sisters. Or do you think there will be an Elucien book (so every sister will have a book) and then a spin-off/novella about Gwynriel with their pov?

I'm genuinely curious about this because I never saw any further explanation on the topic. Also, English isn't my first language so I really hope I don't sound accusing/aggressive or anything like that. Forgive me if that's the case and thank you for reading/answering 😊

hi! great question! you don’t sound aggressive at all don’t worry! i like to have normal civilized discussions about books, so thanks for asking your question:)

first i want to start by saying that it has never been stated by sjm or sjms team that the series is at its core about the archeron sisters. i don’t know where this idea came from. the only thing we know, is that there will be 2 more novels, and one novella. sjm has said that each book will follow one couple and their journey/story. so it’s literally impossible for the series to be only about the archeron sisters since we need at least 1 more novel about a character who is not an archeron.

i’m not saying elain won’t get a book. it’s been very clear that she will. i’m just not sure her book will be the next one, or the one after that, to wrap up the series. sjm said, when talking about the spin offs, that she wants to tell elains story, mors story and azriels story. i think it’s very interesting that she said it like that. why separate azriel and elain if they have the same story to tell? if they share the same book? i think one book will be elains (with lucien as other MC) and the other one will be azriels (with Gwyn as Mc). we could get the novella about mor (and emerie?).

i think where you, and a lot of other elain and azriel shippers get confused, is that it may seem we think it will be gwyns book. while i think gwyn will be the supporting love interest, i think it’s very clearly going to be azriels book. just like how cassian was the second pov/MC, but it was still clearly nestas book.

i’ve also seen the argument that sjm doesn’t write male centered book, which is why azriel won’t get a book. this also isn’t true. she wrote tower of dawn, a tog book, which was centered around chaol and advertised as such.

i think that if there’s one male character in acotar that has to get their own book it’s azriel. azriel has so many problems and issues with self worth/obsessions etc. that i think he really needs his own book. his issues are too big to be a supporting main character (like how cassian was with nesta). gwyn also has healing to do of course, but it’s not as drastic and big as azriel. her healing is the perfect amount for the supporting love interest.

same with lucien. lucien also needs to go on a healing journey, but elain has bigger issues, which is why the book will be centered around her.

it’s why i don’t think azriel and elain work, writing wise. they both have too much healing to do on their own, that if it’ll be elains book, azriels healing will be drowned out and if it’ll be azriels book, elains healing will be drowned out.

i hope this explains jt well. feel free to ask another question or message me :)

[lovemyromance]

When will people stop trying to copy/paste Elain's storylines??

She has an irrefutable tie-many ties actually- to Azriel. There are several scenes of them together, even though she has a mate. Several scenes with a romantic undertone - and even sometimes, an overt display of lust and attraction and strong feelings for the other (*cough* Azriel's bonus chapter)

It's honestly impressive that SJM managed to tie them together in so many ways, so many scenes, even before we've reached their book.

And even Antis have recognized that fact. Which is why they try so hard to give every scrap of Elain's storyline to other characters and try to downplay the blooming Elriel relationship.

Its why I see posts like:

Nesta & Lucien are gonna bond over how much they treasure and love Elain. They are going to be friends like Cassian & Feyre because they share someone in common now 🥺

You mean... the same Lucien that thinks Nesta is a Viper and a witch is going to be buddy-buddy with her? That Nesta is going to suddenly get over her disdain for Lucien? .... it's almost like.... Nesta already HAS a friendship with someone else who cherishes Elain... almost like she's already friends with Azriel

Rhys & Gwyn are gonna be best friends 🥺 they are going to sit there and bond over their dead sisters and their SA trauma 🥹 they are going to be best friends and the bat boy x FMC friendship combo continues!

Yeah... SJM who uses SA trauma strictly for harsh character backstories and then never brings it up again is gonna have an entire book where Rhys and Gwyn bond over their shared SA trauma. Be so fucking fr. Rhys barely even discusses it with FEYRE - you think he's going to sit there and gab with Gwyn?? .... it's almost like... he already has an existing friendship with Elain and she has waved him off like an annoying older brother and he's taken her on a scenic tour of Velaris to make sure she's okay and backs her up to Feyre when her own sister thinks she's nothing more than 'a pleasant companion'....

Gwyn is gonna be a spy and wield Truthteller

Because she.... sat in a tree and waited for the best time to come down? Because she allegedly had an off-page dagger lesson? .... it's almost like SJM already wrote those traits in Elain when she explicitly had Nesta think Elain was taking lessons from her two spy wraith friends... that Elain could keep a secret better than any of them... that Elain is good at sneaking up on people...almost like she explicitly had a whole big scene in ACOWAR where Azriel gave Elain TT and everyone clocked it as a significant moment

Lucien is going to help Elain train her powers at the Day Court

Uh huh... how exactly? Because he can see glamours with his magic eye? Because the Day court has... libraries? Please explain why the logical choice to train Elain's SEEING powers is someone who does not possess any powers beyond fire and spell-cleaving? ... it's almost as if SJM already wrote a powerful character who hears whispers of things and sees things others cannot. It's almost like Azriel was the one to actually discover Elain's powers and has helped her get through her depressive confused stare before...

Like enough, already! At least come up with your own storylines if you're going to sit here and invent a ship?

[freyjas-musings]

WHO IS GWYN

Gwyn is the warrior priestess who was introduced in ACOSF and was mentioned over 500 times in the book. After Nessian and Feysand she got the most page time.

Gwyn is the priestess who refused to be defined by her trauma when she said she doesn't need to be coddled , she only needs to be spoken to like any other person.

Gwyn is someone who recognised a fellow survivor in Nesta and offered her a friendly hand without judgement.

Gwyn is someone with her own backstory of bravery and survival as described by Clotho.

Gwyn is the priestess who saved the children of Sangravah , someone who survived the worst horrors in doing so.

Gwyn is the first Valkyrie Reborn.

Gwyn is that friend who gives thoughtful and meaningful gifts to her sisters and fellow Valkyries . Someone who honoured them and put them in a book.

Gwyn is someone who truly believes that their stories are worth telling - the irony of some people who can't comprehend this simple fact and think her story isn't worth telling 😂😂😂 you silly morons !!!

Gwyn is the character that has as many quotes and one liners in one book as all other FMC written by SJM in their entire series ... lol and who would honestly believe that wasn't deliberate.

Gwyn is the first female to win the bloodrite along with Emerie and become a Carynthian.

Gwyn is the character that pulls numerous expressions from the usually stoic Az who Rhys says would never show his feelings on his face.

Gwyn is the character that reads Az like an open book unlike any other character, that bonus was all we needed.

Gwyn is the character that made the shadowsingers shadows sing and dance for her

Gwyn is the character that made Azriel feel settled and who calmed his shadows with a mere 20min conversation.

Gwyn is the character that made something spark in Azriels chest

Gwyn is the character whose picture glows in the shadowsingers heart - like embers in the shadow.

Gwyn is the 1/4 Nymph with very detailed background history of who she is and where she came from.

Gwyn is the character for who SJM retconned Sangravah.

Gwyn is the character based off of SJMs dear friend 🧡

Gwyn my friends is the character that will share the POV with Azriel in the next book !!!!

Art by Ariel Friass Commissioned by Me

So if you don't know who Gywn is .... you haven't read the book at all !!! And before you give your shitty brains a false high that you got to me .... Nah, I just love writing about Gwyn and will do so with any opportunity that I can get 😊

[acourtofthought]

sooo i have been seeing elriel is confirmed by hofas leaks and i am genuinely scared by it .because i don't wanna see leaks i didn't search it but what do you think about it are they being delusional again ??

To answer your question without spoilers, yes. I think they're being 100% delusional if they think anything in CC3 confirms E/riel.

If you want mild spoilers, see below.

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The ONLY time Elain is mentioned in the entire book is a scene where Azriel is reminding Nesta of the people she loves and you know who comes second to last in that list? Elain.

Cassian, Gwyn, Emerie, Feyre, Elain and Nyx. That's the order. One would think if Elain was at the front of Az's thoughts, she would have been one of the first names mentioned.

Also, they're convinced that because there's a scene involving Nesta's powers that she can no longer wield the Trove but Nesta, regardless of what powers she has, is still Made. It's because she's made that she can wield the Trove, not because of what she had stolen from the Cauldron.

Yes, Elain can wield the Trove too as she's also made but that has nothing to do with Az. Cassian can't wield the Trove yet he's mated to Nesta so how does that fact prove E/riel endgame? Also, who is to say the Trove even needs to be used again right now? I don't see Elain raising an army of the dead or stopping time yet again, do you? Yrene defeated Valg with light so there's a real chance we'll see something similar play out with Elain.

Maybe SJM is tucking the Trove away for her next series or future crossover books.

Also.... You know who does have a connection to the Trove outside of the sisters?

And who shares Helions blood? Lucien!

So if SJM plans on including the Trove in the upcoming ACOTAR books she's already given us hints for Luciens ability to be involved.

I've said this quite a few times and to me, the CC3 leak further supports it but Elain's absence in both the ending of CC2 and CC3 suggests she is no longer in the NC or soon on her way out and none of that is good news for fans of E/riel.

[elrielffs]

This is just a loose theorizing by me about Gwyn's role in the future books and how this ties to Azriel and an Elriel story.

It's not meant to be anti-Gwyn. I actually really like Gwyn as a character but it does incorporate Lightsinger Gwyn and for some, this is anti-rhetoric.

This is just me kicking things around in my noggin' and nothing concrete but just loose attachments.

Under the cut cause it's kinda long.

I was thinking about some of the details we've been given in story and some meta things from SJM's pinterest. I don't really subscribe to the pinterest as end all be all but I do think some things are very interesting on it.

I do think SJM is pulling from various fairytales and myths, particularly Blodeuwedd, Koschei the Deathless and other Russian folktales, and The Little Mermaid. We know SJM takes inspiration from fairy tales.

First we have Blodeuwedd which SJM saved titling Elain. The story of Blodeuwedd is that she was made to be the perfect wife of Lleu Llaw Gyffes but rejects him and falls in love with another, Gronw Pebr.

In the Koschei and the Deathless, we have Ivan Tsarevich who has 3 sisters that marry 3 winged wizards. Ivan saves Marya Morevna, a warrior princess, from Koschei and marries her.

I think the first two speaks for themselves on how they relate to ACOTAR so I won't delve to much into it but you can see how it relates to the story that is playing out.

Last is The Little Mermaid. We all know this story because of Disney and also it's probably one of the more well known fairy tales' but the broad strokes of the ORIGINAL telling is: The Little Mermaid falls in love with the human prince, makes a deal with the Sea Witch for her fins to be turned into legs to be with him on land, the prince falls in love with someone else, and the Mermaid is tasked by the Sea Witch with killing the prince to get her fins back but she can't do it because she loves the prince too much and instead turns into bubbles/foam/becomes an air spirit.

How does this relate to Gwyn?

Gwyn has been described many a time with ocean/water like imagery and has been stated to have nymph heritage. Her eyes are constantly described as the sunlit sea and she even says the quote," I am the rock on which the surf crashes."

We are also told about Lightsingers in the same book that Gwyn is introduced: They are ethereal beings who will lure their prey to them, appearing as friendly faces. Only when their prey were in their arms would their true faces emerge.

This shares many similarities to Sirens: creatures that live in or by the ocean, that lure victims to them with an alluring voice. Sirens have also become synonymous with mermaids, merging into one creature with siren and mermaid being used interchangeably to describe the one being.

Gwyn has show these same characteristics in story. Gwyn is shown to be a singer and have a beautiful voice and to also glow when she sings.

When Nesta hears Gwyn sing she describes it thus:

Drawing any listener in.

Nesta also says this about Gwyn upon first meeting her:

Gwyn also tells Nesta at one point that Nesta wouldn't like the "real" her.

I won't go too in depth to the Lightsinger theory because there are plenty of other posts floating around breaking it down better than me but suffice to say that there is a correlation between Gwyn's voice/singing=some type of power. This easily translates into Lightsinger/mermaid/siren imagery and theory.

Now this next part is just me spit balling and is more fast and loose and how this could tie into an Elriel story:

We don't know too much about Koschei in story except that he's a Death God and older brother to Stryga and the Bone Carver, beings who traveled from another world to Prythian (Daglan/Asteri?) and a powerful wizard that cursed Vassa.

At one point he tells Azriel he has "been preparing for you". What could this mean? Why has he been preparing for Azriel?

Why would Koschei, who is a powerful wizard, bargain with the Acheron's father, a human nobody? Is it because he is Elain's father?

Rhysand speculates that there's a possibility that the priestess have been infiltrated. We saw with Ianthe that not all priestess's harbor good intentions and in ACOWAR that the library can be broken into.

It has been highly speculated that Merrill, a priestess in the Library, is up to something. Is she in line with Koschei?

Who works under Merrill? Gwyn.

We know from HOFAS that the cauldron is corrupted by the Asteri/Daglan, a fact speculated by Azriel himself in the bonus chapter.

Is possible that Koschei as a Daglan/Asteri had a hand in corrupting the cauldron to mix up Elain's mates? Is that how Koschei "prepared" for Azriel?

And what about Gwyn working under Merrill? Gwyn could be manipulated and unknowingly assisting Koschei/Merrill or she could be working for them for some kind of favor--returning her sister Catrin to life?

Also, the fact that Gwyn and Catrin are twins can be used for shenanigan's. What if Gwyn is actually Catrin? (This is purely speculative on my part by the fact that they were made twins rather than just sisters.)

It's also mentioned that Catrin had webbed fingers. I love this little detail and wish Gwyn had them too but is there a reason she doesn't? Could this be to distinguish Catrin and Gwyn at a later date besides hair color?

Could Merrill/Koschei know about Gwyn's Lightsinger heritage and be using her as way to lure Azriel away from Elain?

What is one of the gifts Elain gets Azriel? Ear plugs.

We know it as a gag gift but we also know that Elain has visions--we don't know how fragmented or how fully she receives them but is is possible that she saw something that inspired her to give Azriel the ear plugs?

Is this to upset the balance of the 6 pointed star mentioned in HOFAS?

Could Gwyn, unknowingly or knowingly be working for Koschei to infiltrate the IC via Nesta and the training, lure Azriel away from Elain? Could Gwyn fall in love (this part is not needed, it can be just business on Gwyn's end) with Azriel but realize thru her connections with the Valkyries and training and Azriel that she can't go thru with it?

Let me reiterate, I don't think Gwyn is evil. I think she could be manipulated, coerced, or promised something she can't refuse to help or go along with Koschei/Merrill. She might not even know it's Koschei she is helping or that she is even in fact assisting. She could be manipulated into using her unknown Lightersinger powers.

Gwyn (the Mermaid) is promised/manipulated into using her Lightsinger powers by Koschei/Merrill (Sea Witch) to lure Azriel (the prince) away from Elain (the woman the prince loves) but the end she can't go thru with it either because she realizes it's wrong, realizes she's being manipulated or because she can't do that to Azriel.

I know there is more that can be conjected but this is already quite long and I didn't even delve into the Swan Lake and Sleeping Beauty parallels.

I realize this could have been posted before and nothing new but I just wanted to put my thoughts out there and hear some more of my fellow Elriels!