#Sexuality Crisis

[vivika-ka]

For anyone in the ASPEC community, how did you find out you are in the ASPEC spectrum? I’ve been grappling with my identity for a while now.

Getting super personal for a minute but as someone who grew up in a small town in Brazil where even the concept of being LGBTQ+ was considered a sin/taboo during the time I was a child and teen (I’ve been told it’s somewhat better now!), I’m still trying to understand my own sexuality now that I’m out of there and have the opportunity to even explore how I feel.

And thinking back on my intimate experiences, I never felt anything while engaging in them. I’d enter some sort of limbo, idk. Just complete numbness. And I felt absolutely awful after—I’d be extremely depressed for days.

Like, I know only one instance when the journey of being together with the person and even light activities (that felt genuine) made me feel enjoyment and love. And there were the rare times I’d want to engage in sexual activities, when I felt in love with the person. But when it got to the activity itself, zilch, I felt nothing. Which made me feel guilty.

I still have difficulties knowing what spectrum I fall under. On one hand I’d say I’m panromantic asexual. On the other hand I’d say I’m just pan asexual. But both experiences (romantic and non-romantic) rendered me numb.

The thing that confuses me is, I love romance. I love love, if that makes any sense. But when it comes to me in the equation, it often (but not always) falls flat? So I get to the question of, “Am I aromantic too, then?” And I fall in this rabbit hole of scattered identities. And admittedly I often find myself falling into some sort of traditional line of thinking (thx Protestant and Catholic upbringing 🫠)

Anyway, I’m in a constant state of trying to understand myself and my sexuality, and even feel pressured at times to have a specific answer, given how it seems extremely important for people online.

Most people seem so sure. They know with such certainty, I find myself envious at times. Given that I often find myself at a lost. And that usually makes me feel…incomplete, for a lack of better word. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. Idk.

[starchasersversion]

going through a sexuality crisis was not on my 2024 bingo card

[ohheyfullmetal]

Magnus Chase when he and Alex Fierro kissed for the first time

[nikolai-alexi]

Okay, this is kind of a personal ask, but can anyone explain to me what attraction to another person feels like? Having a minor (re: major) crisis currently. And despite the vast amount of smut I write, I apparently cannot figure this out for myself

[unhingedangstaddict]

tease tidbit tuesday

omg kinda late but the amazing @desert--moonchild tagged me and it's still technically tuesday for me so here we go! first time being tagged in something like this!! Here's a tease for the next (unreleased) chapter of I'll Hold Onto You While We Run - my BuckTommy fake dating WITSEC AU

“I say this with the utmost love and respect for women, but girls are so confusing. Sometimes I think it would just be easier to date dudes.” Buck admitted to Lucy as they prepared the bar to open for the day.

Lucy looked over at Buck. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I always try so much, with everything I do, I give it my all. I always try to give my absolute 100% in relationships and I try hard to be there and understand what’s wrong and make things better when they’re bad. And yet women- in my own personal experience- never make it easy. It’s like I’m going through something and I need something from you but I’m not gonna tell you and just expect you to know what I need. Like I’m supposed to be able to read their minds or something.” Buck paused.

Buck took a breath, then continued. “And it’s so complicated because you have to be a gentleman enough that you’re not a douchebag but if you’re too much of a gentleman then you’re assuming they’re incapable and you’re not a feminist. And every woman feels that boundary is set somewhere different. It’s like some big game except every time I think I finally understand the rules they go and change. And don’t get me wrong, I love women, but sometimes I just feel like dating a guy would be easier.”

“So why not date guys then?” Lucy asked like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Because I’m not…” Buck trailed off, not wanting to say anything offensive- especially as Lucy had just come out to him in her own very nonchalant, very unbothered way. “I mean there’s nothing wrong with being queer. I have so much respect for the LGBT community. But I’m not a part of it, just an ally. I mean, sure, I’ll check out a hot guy’s ass but that’s normal.”

“What do you mean that’s normal?” Lucy questioned.

“Like everyone does that.” Buck told her. “Why are you so confused?”

[ok555ficideas]

The aftg hyper fixation is on pause for the moment, but I hope there will come a day when I revisit my ongoing fics and finish them For now here is a very rough concept of a scene for "Solder, Poet, King" (Katekevaaron fic) that I don't even remember writing. This is a conversation between Aaron and Neil

“What did you mean?”

“You will have to be more specific than that.” 

“The comment about the way I look at Kevin.”

“It’s just an observation, I can’t really tell you what it means, all I know is that it is almost the same way you look at Katelyn, you know this lovey-dovey look, but it has a little more pain to it.”

“Constipation.” 

“That was my first thought, yes.” 

“I don’t look at Kevin with lovey-dovey eyes.” 

“If you say so.” 

“I’m straight.” 

Neil closes his book (he was trying to study, but he gave up)

“And I don’t swing.”

“It’s different, you’re demi.” 

“How do you know?” 

“I listen and for a person whose survival once depended on being invisible, you can be very loud and-”

“Reckless.” Some feer in Neil’s eyes 

“Free.” “It suits you, but that’s not the point. The point is that I don’t look at Kevin in any way even remotely resembling my look for Katelyn.” 

“Listen, I don’t really care.”

“So you agree then, that I don’t?”

“My resolution is not to lie anymore.” 

“Your resolution? This isn’t fucking New Yers Eve, tell me that I don’t look at him like that.” 

“Why does my opinion suddenly matter to you?”

“Because you put those ideas in my head.” 

“What ideas?”

“All those thoughts about him that I’ve never had before and do not belong in my mind, so tell me that you were wrong, so I can stop thinking about him the way I shouldn’t, because I’m not a fu-”

Aaron feeling guilty 

“You’re not a what?” 

Aaron shakes his head 

“You were about to use a homophobic slur weren’t you?” 

“I-,” quickened breathing, “I-” shakes his head

Panic attack

“Hey, breathe with me. That’s it, in and out, breath.”

some apologies, Neil suggest for Aaron to talk to Nicky

[gremlinbabe]

You know what 2 scenes live rent free in my head cuz they give off the same energy: innocent question leads to brain error

Stiles asking a fairly innocent question not realizing what he implied because he didn’t know that Derek was gonna flirt with the deputy. But Derek knew what his plan was and definitely had at least a passing thought on the flirting with stiles when stiles asked Derek what his plan was to sneak into the precinct and show him an example. And you can actively see his brain */error message/* because it wasn’t something that had crossed his mind previously

Then stiles in a similar situation of unassuming person asking a fairly innocent question only for him to */error message/* too because he never really thought about it. (Caitlyn asking if he like girls and guys too after she had answered she liked both) and with how stiles brain works I wouldn’t be surprised if his thoughts jumped to first guy(s) or most recent crush that he’s had on a dude that he’s now starting to realize maybe wasn’t strictly appreciation of a cool guy.

[shiveringfrogspawn]

[swimming-fishes]

Y'all, I think I might be aromantic, and possibly on the asexual spectrum. I've struggled with gender before, but I've never really had a crisis about it. But when the idea of being aromantic popped into my head, I got really scared? I know QPRs exist and I've always been most fulfilled by my platonic and familial relationships, but I've always wanted to settle down with a partner and maybe have a family of my own someday, so being aro is scary to me. I know my goals are lossible without romance, but I'm having my first ACTUAL queer crisis! I'm recontextualizing my life in a way I never had to with my gender! It's scary!!

If anyone has advice or reassurance, that would be helpful lol. I don't know much about the aroace community but I would love to learn.

[roseglasses22]

Ok so, my sexuality crisis is over, and I know what I'm attracted to, I just don't know the word for it. I am attracted to everyone but super masculine men, like, nb people and women are still all yes. And then like, feminine and androgynous men are also yes. But I'm not really attracted to masculine men, and I have no clue what this is called

[steddieunderdogfics]

silent all these years by cairparavels

Rating: Not Rated

11,138 words, 1/1 chapters

Archive Warning: Chose not to Use

Tags: Secret Admirer, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Sexuality Crisis, Internalized Homophobia, Character Study, Past Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, POV Steve Harrington, freshman year to present, canon compliant except eddie lives and vecna dies, Underage Smoking, Swim Team, Strangers to Lovers, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, SO SWEET HES JUST TOO GOOD, One Shot, Insecure Steve Harrington, eddie munson slays every day of his life, Tommy Hagan Being an Asshole, Billy Hargrove Being an Asshole, hints at billy being gay but not explored

Summary:

steve gives eddie a love note. it's a joke at first. (steve searches for the meaning of life and finds it in his own queerness: a journey through the years.)

This is a MOD rec as a part of our Fic Fridays.

Know a fic that deserves extra love? Submit through our asks or the submission box!

[lil-gae-disaster]

"Uh I'm aware that we're, like, on opposite sides of the war, but I kinda need advice on something"

-Frederick when he (tries to) talk to Laurens abt the fact that he doesn't fancy women

(This is gonna be extremely awkward for both of them)

@hamalicious-soup @marsfingershurt

[troublebastard]

Help people

a man has catapulted me into another sexuality crisis....

A Man...

what did I do to deserve this?

Non aroace people, explain the witchcraft of getting over a crush

please I need help

[perch-the-cat]

Alright, so this is my sexuality story,

straight female -> Asexual female -> aroace female -> aromantic female -> aromantic demigirl -> cupioromantic gender fluid.

yeah, I think I'm a cupioromantic gender fluid now...

GENDER AND SEXUALITY CRISIS!!!!!!

[lifesizecorpsekit]

oh no! i was so comfortable with my aroace label why why why why sexuality crisis why again? you cannot let me have a peaceful year without either gender identity or sexuality crisis now can you

[ok555ficideas]

Looking through my "Soldier, Poet, King" (Katekevaaron fic) doc and I already posted Aaron's freak out, so I might as well of it for Kevin too. This is a very rough concept of a conversation between Alison and Kevin:

“You want ot fuck them so bad it makes you look stupid.”

Ace panic and self loathing 

“I don’t”

“Wait , you’re not lying. But you do like them, I’m sure of it.”

Deflection

“You just don’t want to fuck them.”

“Can you stop saying that? There is something wrong with me, I know, okay? No need to rub it in.” 

“Oh.” laughs. “If I had a nickel for every time I had to explain to a kid raised by mafia that there is nothing wrong with them, I’d have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.”

“What the fuck are you on about.” 

“I had to explain to Neil what asexuality was as well.”

“Neil and Andrew have sex plenty amount.” 

“Asexuality is a pretty big spectrum. As far as I’m aware Neil landed on demisexual, but only because Andrew threatened to push him off the roof if he ever uttered "andrewsexual” again.”

some more asexual explanation. 

“No one will want me like that.” 

“You have to give Aaron and Katelyn more credit.” 

“Stop, I’m not going to be a homewrecker.” 

“Fuck, do I have to explain polyamory as well?”

“Polyamory? That’s disgusting.”

“Wow, Kev didn't peg you as a bigot.”

“No, I mean the word. It's a mess of two languages → that one tweet about a professor flipping out about the mash up a languages, research needed

“Let’s forget about the word. I’m just saying that three isn't always a crowd.”

“I think we established I don’t want to have sex with them, so I don’t know how a threesome would solve anything.” 

“A threesome? Jesus, ugh.” 

“What are you doing?”

“You’re very vulnerable right now, so I’m finding a way to be nice, no matter how much it pains me.” 

“It takes you that long to find it?”