#Sexuality Crisis

[vivika-ka]

For anyone in the ASPEC community, how did you find out you are in the ASPEC spectrum? I’ve been grappling with my identity for a while now.

Getting super personal for a minute but as someone who grew up in a small town in Brazil where even the concept of being LGBTQ+ was considered a sin/taboo during the time I was a child and teen (I’ve been told it’s somewhat better now!), I’m still trying to understand my own sexuality now that I’m out of there and have the opportunity to even explore how I feel.

And thinking back on my intimate experiences, I never felt anything while engaging in them. I’d enter some sort of limbo, idk. Just complete numbness. And I felt absolutely awful after—I’d be extremely depressed for days.

Like, I know only one instance when the journey of being together with the person and even light activities (that felt genuine) made me feel enjoyment and love. And there were the rare times I’d want to engage in sexual activities, when I felt in love with the person. But when it got to the activity itself, zilch, I felt nothing. Which made me feel guilty.

I still have difficulties knowing what spectrum I fall under. On one hand I’d say I’m panromantic asexual. On the other hand I’d say I’m just pan asexual. But both experiences (romantic and non-romantic) rendered me numb.

The thing that confuses me is, I love romance. I love love, if that makes any sense. But when it comes to me in the equation, it often (but not always) falls flat? So I get to the question of, “Am I aromantic too, then?” And I fall in this rabbit hole of scattered identities. And admittedly I often find myself falling into some sort of traditional line of thinking (thx Protestant and Catholic upbringing 🫠)

Anyway, I’m in a constant state of trying to understand myself and my sexuality, and even feel pressured at times to have a specific answer, given how it seems extremely important for people online.

Most people seem so sure. They know with such certainty, I find myself envious at times. Given that I often find myself at a lost. And that usually makes me feel��incomplete, for a lack of better word. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. Idk.

[starchasersversion]

going through a sexuality crisis was not on my 2024 bingo card

[ohheyfullmetal]

Magnus Chase when he and Alex Fierro kissed for the first time

[nikolai-alexi]

Okay, this is kind of a personal ask, but can anyone explain to me what attraction to another person feels like? Having a minor (re: major) crisis currently. And despite the vast amount of smut I write, I apparently cannot figure this out for myself

[unhingedangstaddict]

tease tidbit tuesday

omg kinda late but the amazing @desert--moonchild tagged me and it's still technically tuesday for me so here we go! first time being tagged in something like this!! Here's a tease for the next (unreleased) chapter of I'll Hold Onto You While We Run - my BuckTommy fake dating WITSEC AU

“I say this with the utmost love and respect for women, but girls are so confusing. Sometimes I think it would just be easier to date dudes.” Buck admitted to Lucy as they prepared the bar to open for the day.

Lucy looked over at Buck. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I always try so much, with everything I do, I give it my all. I always try to give my absolute 100% in relationships and I try hard to be there and understand what’s wrong and make things better when they’re bad. And yet women- in my own personal experience- never make it easy. It’s like I’m going through something and I need something from you but I’m not gonna tell you and just expect you to know what I need. Like I’m supposed to be able to read their minds or something.” Buck paused.

Buck took a breath, then continued. “And it’s so complicated because you have to be a gentleman enough that you’re not a douchebag but if you’re too much of a gentleman then you’re assuming they’re incapable and you’re not a feminist. And every woman feels that boundary is set somewhere different. It’s like some big game except every time I think I finally understand the rules they go and change. And don’t get me wrong, I love women, but sometimes I just feel like dating a guy would be easier.”

“So why not date guys then?” Lucy asked like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Because I’m not…” Buck trailed off, not wanting to say anything offensive- especially as Lucy had just come out to him in her own very nonchalant, very unbothered way. “I mean there’s nothing wrong with being queer. I have so much respect for the LGBT community. But I’m not a part of it, just an ally. I mean, sure, I’ll check out a hot guy’s ass but that’s normal.”

“What do you mean that’s normal?” Lucy questioned.

“Like everyone does that.” Buck told her. “Why are you so confused?”

[gremlinbabe]

You know what 2 scenes live rent free in my head cuz they give off the same energy: innocent question leads to brain error

Stiles asking a fairly innocent question not realizing what he implied because he didn’t know that Derek was gonna flirt with the deputy. But Derek knew what his plan was and definitely had at least a passing thought on the flirting with stiles when stiles asked Derek what his plan was to sneak into the precinct and show him an example. And you can actively see his brain */error message/* because it wasn’t something that had crossed his mind previously

Then stiles in a similar situation of unassuming person asking a fairly innocent question only for him to */error message/* too because he never really thought about it. (Caitlyn asking if he like girls and guys too after she had answered she liked both) and with how stiles brain works I wouldn’t be surprised if his thoughts jumped to first guy(s) or most recent crush that he’s had on a dude that he’s now starting to realize maybe wasn’t strictly appreciation of a cool guy.

[shiveringfrogspawn]

[swimming-fishes]

Y'all, I think I might be aromantic, and possibly on the asexual spectrum. I've struggled with gender before, but I've never really had a crisis about it. But when the idea of being aromantic popped into my head, I got really scared? I know QPRs exist and I've always been most fulfilled by my platonic and familial relationships, but I've always wanted to settle down with a partner and maybe have a family of my own someday, so being aro is scary to me. I know my goals are lossible without romance, but I'm having my first ACTUAL queer crisis! I'm recontextualizing my life in a way I never had to with my gender! It's scary!!

If anyone has advice or reassurance, that would be helpful lol. I don't know much about the aroace community but I would love to learn.

[rosechaos22]

Ok so, my sexuality crisis is over, and I know what I'm attracted to, I just don't know the word for it. I am attracted to everyone but super masculine men, like, nb people and women are still all yes. And then like, feminine and androgynous men are also yes. But I'm not really attracted to masculine men, and I have no clue what this is called

[lil-gae-disaster]

"Uh I'm aware that we're, like, on opposite sides of the war, but I kinda need advice on something"

-Frederick when he (tries to) talk to Laurens abt the fact that he doesn't fancy women

(This is gonna be extremely awkward for both of them)

@hamalicious-soup @marsfingershurt

[troublebastard]

Help people

a man has catapulted me into another sexuality crisis....

A Man...

what did I do to deserve this?

Non aroace people, explain the witchcraft of getting over a crush

please I need help

[diary-of-a-lovergirl]

Update on the am-I-aroace-or-am-I-lesbian-crisis:

I have decided to label myself as both. or maybe just queer. no, I will not elaborate :) (I will only if you're struggling with a similiar thing and feel like it would help you figure something out maybe)

also I think I'm comfortable with my sexual/romantic orientation currently (hopefully for longer this time) and yeah- I mean- wow, that's great, right :0

[steddieunderdogfics]

A great fic I've got to recommend is obliterations everywhere (we blaze with scorching heat) by sleepingoffyourdemons

obliterations everywhere (we blaze with scorching heat) by sleepingoffyourdemons

Rating: Mature

18,004 words, 5/5 chapters

Archive Warning: No Warnings

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Bisexual Eddie Munson, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Aware of Own Bisexuality Steve Harrington, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Sexuality Crisis, Shotgunning, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Smut, POV Eddie Munson, POV Steve Harrington, POV Alternating, Character Study, Internalized Homophobia, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recreational Drug Use, Handkerchief Code, Eddie Munson Has a Bisexual Awakening

Summary:

It was girls, it had always been girls. But then there was Steve. Steve, who stared at his lips while he spoke, who flinched like he'd been burnt when Eddie leaned into his space and whose heroism put him to shame again and again. Who made him want to be a better man. To stop running. To be worthy. To fight. Steve was something else. -------- Eddie isn’t gay but lots of people make that assumption. Maybe they know something that he doesn't, because he's damned if he doesn't enjoy flirting with Steve Harrington. Steve was pretty confident in his sexuality. He liked women. A lot. And sometimes, on the odd occasion, he liked men too. He'd decided that didn't have to mean anything though. Then he met Eddie Munson. OR Eddie can have a little sexuality crisis too, as a treat.

Thanks for the rec!

Know a fic that deserves extra love? Submit through our asks!

[perch-the-cat]

Alright, so this is my sexuality story,

straight female -> Asexual female -> aroace female -> aromantic female -> aromantic demigirl -> cupioromantic gender fluid.

yeah, I think I'm a cupioromantic gender fluid now...

GENDER AND SEXUALITY CRISIS!!!!!!

[lifesizecorpsekit]

oh no! i was so comfortable with my aroace label why why why why sexuality crisis why again? you cannot let me have a peaceful year without either gender identity or sexuality crisis now can you

[lifea16]

Sexuality Update!:-

Alright, so, been thinking abt my identity alot, I've come to the conclusion that I'm

Bisexual! Yay! As well as a Quoriomantic Idemromantic and ofc Fraysexual and Cupiosexual

Probably a Demiplatonic Caedplatonic (Thanks Bullying! /s Now I only can form platonic bonds after getting attatched!)

Ya, I'll probably explain how I'm Idemromantic in a later post

Also happy late Bi Visiblity Day!