#Sex is bad vaginas are ugly

[fushitoru]

all i want for christmas is you! a gojo satoru fic

pairing ⸺ bf!gojo x reader

summary ⸺ after a well needed rest from the kids, you and your boyfriend focus on baking christmas cookies for your pta responsibilities. however, it ends up taking a naughty twist when satoru finds out the surprise you've planned out for him.

warnings ⸺ FLUFF, smut in the form of fingering and p i v sex, reader has a vagina, fem reader implied, some jealousy, but mostly crack, pta cookie baking for megumi, very domestic, not edited, “good girl,” teasing, use of pet names like “baby,” gojo is a warning in himself

a/n hbd to my husband and loml 😚😚 i hope you guys enjoy this it kind of made me realize only long fics heal my soul but this is anticipation of holidays :33

general masterlist

You sometimes did not know what to do with Satoru.

When he told you to come over to make Christmas cookies that are part of his PTA commitments for Megumi, you really didn’t expect him to come out of his room with that sweater on. It’s an ugly sweater—so he’s got the holiday spirit nailed down—that has printed “BIG PACKAGE JUST FOR YOU.” Below it, a cartoon Santa stood pantsless, strategically holding a neatly wrapped gift box over his crotch.

You give him a look as he comes out to join you in the kitchen. ��Please don’t tell me you wore that in front of Tsumiki and Megumi.”

He has the gall to look offended as he puts on his even stupider “Your opinion wasn’t on the recipe” apron. “Of course, what kind of father do you think I am?”

You sigh, moving to put in the last of the dry ingredients. “I saw Megumi watching Breaking Bad on his iPad last week.”

“What?” he gasps dramatically as he pauses while moving for the fridge. “I swear I downloaded Youtube Kids!”

Look, Satoru is a good dad. Foster-dad. Whatever. He’s been taking care of Megumi and Tsumiki for ages now, ever since that incident happened, and he’s been doing his best. But, unfortunately, his adult life and burdens and responsibilities cause him sometimes to be a absent father. He makes up for it—goes shopping with Tsumiki for her clothes, spends quality time with Megumi.

One thing he’d never miss, however, are those PTA meetings.

He is the PTA mom final boss. No matter what event is being held, he’s going to go all out. You don’t miss the smirk he gives to Karen everytime he brings an even bigger cookie platter for Megumi’s homeroom than she did for her son Sam’s, nor the sassy pursed lips as he donates artist-grade markers from Michael’s instead of Mia’s cheap ones from Walmart.

Yea, he is just petty like that, but it’s always the moms whose sons have gotten into fights with Megumi that he outdoes everytime. You know better than to question his peculiar form of revenge.

“I think that means he found a way to break through the parental controls. He’s definitely your kid,” you reply with a bit of mirth in your voice. Then, you quickly move to intercept Satoru’s journey to get the eggs as soon as you notice a miniscule movement of his. You were not about to let Satoru force another trip to Whole Foods with the clumsiness you’re all too familiar with in your five years of dating.

Grabbing the eggs before he can, you turn around to find him staring at you, a dazzled look on his face.

“What?” you ask, already smirking. The view of the outfit you’d worn today had been obscured by the apron when he first came in, but when you moved to get the eggs in front of him, he definitely got a view of your ass in your tiny red skirt and fuzzy, festive top.

“Why the hell are you wearing a sexy Mrs. Claus outfit?”

“I was thinking we’d watch Christmas movies and chill today after the cookies!” you exclaim, just as Satoru interrupts with, “We’re baking cookies for children, you freak.”

The room went dead silent.

Your cheerful smile dropped instantly. Meanwhile, Satoru’s face lit up like he’s just won the lottery, full of pure glee.

Both of you shout at the same time, “What?”

You slam the eggs down onto the counter with just enough force to make him flinch, narrowing your eyes at him. “Excuse me? Did you just call me a freak?”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” he yelped, backpedaling so fast you were surprised he didn’t trip over his own feet. “It’s just—” He gestured wildly at you. “—that outfit is… is…”

“Is what?” you demand, crossing your arms and daring him to dig himself deeper.

“Babe,” he starts to whine, apologetic like a wet dog and padding his way back over to you while pulling you in for a back hug. “It’s hot, okay? Don’t get me wrong, it’s driving me crazy. I’m trying to focus on cookies, and you’re over here looking like every Christmas fantasy I didn’t know I had.”

“Get off me,” you grumble, shooting him a glare as you try to shake him off. “You are not touching these cookies. Sit on the couch.”

He yelps as you slap his hand. “Babe, but I’ll just be reinforcing the patriarchy if I let you stay and do all the work in the kitchen.” Then, he moves closer to your ear like the chronically online loser he is and whispers, “6’ 3’’ btw.”

“Go away!” you shriek, waving him off. This process would indeed be two times faster if Satoru was on his couch. There wasn’t any rush, but you’d really appreciate getting to the dicking-down part of tonight after much appreciated privacy from the kids for the first time in forever. You take a mental note to thank Yuji’s grandpa and Nobara’s grandmother with extra cookies for the sleepover as you shoo your boyfriend to the couch.

You get back to work on the wet ingredients by cracking the eggs, but not before you hear a “I’ll be reflecting on the systematic oppression women face in the workforce.”

Pulling off the oven mitts on your hands, you wash your hand but not without sneaking a peek over the kitchen counter. You were locked in on the cookies, paying no mind to Satoru’s existential bemoaning, and now that you’re done, you can’t wait for the fun part of tonight.

After waiting a few minutes and checking and rechecking the cookies to make sure they’re done, you set them aside to cool and make sure to turn off the oven. Tonight, you were determined to get that big fucking package Santa owed you, and your boyfriend was going to be the one to deliver it.

As you walk out, you know the strat you’re going to use: innocently suggest a Christmas movie to watch, snuggle close to him, and he’ll fall into the trap you set for him like a bear towards honey. You know your boyfriend all too well, and today, you were feeling coy.

He’s stretched out on the couch, scrolling on his phone, his posture as awful as ever. But the second he hears your footsteps, his head snaps up. His eyes immediately dart to the movement of your bare legs, lingering on the tiny red skirt you’re still wearing, before slowly traveling back up to your chest. Wow. He really wasn’t making this difficult.

You plop down next to him while grabbing the remote, pulling up Netflix. “What movie should we watch today?”

He blinks, clearly distracted. “We’re watching a movie?”

The Princess Switch catches in the side of your eye as you scroll through the options. Without looking at him, you answer, “Yes? What else were we going to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he drawls, his voice already dipping into that teasing tone you know so well. “Maybe something that doesn’t involve Vanessa Hudgens playing herself two times.”

You roll your eyes, nudging his shoulder with your own. “Don’t knock it till you try it, Mr. Holiday Spirit.”

His gaze doesn’t leave you, though, and when you finally glance at him, his expression has shifted. He’s not teasing anymore. His eyes are a little darker, his lips twitching like he’s holding back a grin. “What?” you ask, already smirking.

“Nothing,” he says, his voice lower now. “Just... you look really good in that outfit.”

Your cheeks heat, but you play it off with a laugh. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Satoru.”

“Won’t it?” he murmurs, leaning a little closer, his hand brushing against your knee. The heat of his palm lingers even after he pulls it away, and you feel your heart skip a beat.

You’re about to respond—something witty, something to keep the banter going—but then his hand moves again, this time resting firmly on your thigh. “You’re really going to make me sit through a Christmas movie when you look like that?” he asks, his voice a low rumble.

Your breath hitches, and you can’t help the way your body reacts, leaning just a fraction closer to him. “What would you rather do?” you challenge, your voice softer now.

His gaze dips to your lips, and that’s all the invitation he needs. In a second, he’s closing the distance, his mouth pressing against yours in a kiss that’s anything but sweet. It’s hungry and demanding, like he’s been waiting for this all day, and when his hand slides higher up your thigh, you realize you’ve completely forgotten about the movie and the preview playing. Satoru, clearly a little annoyed judging by the pout on his face, moves to close the preview featuring Vanessa Hudgens’ obnoxious British accent and then the room is silent except for the wet sounds of your sloppy kissing.

When you’ve both made out for a while—now with you on his lap—you both pull back with fastened breaths, looking at each other’s glistening lips. Finally, from Satoru comes out a, “That. I wanted to do that.”

Maybe it’s the attention whore in you always looking to rile up Satoru and get his affection, but you couldn’t refrain from blurting out a “Are you sure you wanted to do this with me, or would Linda have sufficed?”

At the scrunch of Satoru’s nose, his face practically spells out a Who the fuck is Linda? “You know, the one that gets really friendly with you when I’m going to the bathroom at those PTA meetings.”

Satoru sometimes did not know what to do with you.

Here he is, trying to make out with you when you’re looking like that, makeup done perfectly and looking beautiful as always. He hasn’t gotten laid with you in a hot minute, and here you are, picking at him. He has no fucking clue who Linda is, but what he does know is that you’re really cute when you get jealous. “Yeah?” he teases, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, his fingers lingering against your cheek. His grin is maddeningly smug, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement. “Linda sounds nice. Should I call her up?”

Your jaw drops, but the sharp retort forming in your head is lost when his hand slides from your cheek to your neck, his thumb brushing lightly along your jawline. He leans closer, his breath warm against your skin. “You know,” he continues, his voice a low murmur, “if you’re jealous, you could just say so.”

“I’m not jealous,” you shoot back, your voice unconvincing even to yourself. You shift under his gaze, trying to keep up the façade, but it’s hard when his lips hover so close to yours.

Satoru’s grin widens. “No? Then why are you bringing up some imaginary PTA Linda when I’m clearly only interested in you?” His lips press against the corner of your mouth, a slow, deliberate kiss that makes your breath catch.

“You’re clearly only interested in being annoying,” you quip, but the words lack their usual bite as his hand slips lower, trailing down your side until it rests on your bare thigh. His touch is firm, possessive, and it sends a shiver through you.

“Annoying?” he echoes, his tone mock-offended. “That’s a big word for someone who just ruined a perfectly good makeout session to talk about Linda.”

You glare at him, but the effect is ruined when his thumb begins tracing lazy circles on your thigh. “I didn’t ruin anything,” you argue weakly.

“Didn’t you?” He dips his head, his lips brushing against the sensitive spot just below your ear. “Because now, instead of kissing you like I want to, I’m stuck reassuring you that Linda doesn’t stand a chance against my very sexy, very jealous girlfriend.”

You can’t help the laugh that escapes you, but it turns into a soft gasp as his teeth graze your skin, his tongue soothing the faint sting. “You’re insufferable,” you mutter, but your hands betray you, tangling in his hair and tugging him closer.

“Mm, but you like it,” he murmurs, his lips trailing down your neck. His free hand slides higher, skimming under the hem of your skirt, his fingers teasing against the soft skin of your hip. “Admit it.”

“Shut up,” you manage, though your voice is breathless now. He’s too close, his scent overwhelming, his touch setting your nerves on fire. When his hand tightens on your thigh and he pulls you closer, you give in, letting him capture your lips in a kiss that’s all desperation.

Linda, whoever she may be, is long forgotten as Satoru kisses you like he’s trying to make up for every second you’ve spent apart. His hands roam, his touch firm and confident, and when he pulls back just enough to murmur against your lips, “You’re all I want,” you believe him completely.

A breathless “Satoru” leaves your lips as he gently–but hurriedly–lowers you down to lay on the couch while he bends over you, inching down the hem of your top to bury his head in your tits. “Oh my god,” he groaned. “I missed my girls.” He starts to leaves rough kisses, an occasional bite and suck, and then stops. Takes in a deep breath. “Wow, you smell good babe.”

You look at him, flustered. “Stop smelling my tits, oh my god.” For good measure, you grab his hair to bury his face against your breasts once more.

“No,” smooch, “it’s,” smooch, “smelling good. Like the new holiday scents from Bath and Body Works.” He then abandons your chest to kiss his way down your body, sliding your skirt down as he kisses around the edge of your panties. “I’ve missed her, too.”

Despite yourself, you moan, spreading your legs to give him full access. He takes it enthusiastically, giving you a little kiss in your middle. Then, his eyes don’t leave yours as he uses his teeth to pull your panties down, slowly and sultry. Your pussy leaks even more, and the motherfucker notices, because there’s a faint smirk on his face as he hones back in your wetness, running his fingers to spread your slick. “Wow, my girl must have been sooo pent up,” he croons, eyes not leaving your hole and the way it clenched every time he spoke. “My good girl is soo desperate.”

Without missing a beat, you sneakily reply, “Don’t call me that, that’s so corny oh my god—-“ You’re interrupted with your own gasp as he enters a finger in. When he finally curls it, hitting your g-spot dead on, you suck in your breath. You really missed this.

“Oh, really?” He giggles, clearly amused by you trying to rile him up. “If my baby doesn’t like being called a good girl then why is she clenching so hard on my—“ thrust— “fingers?”

And suddenly the feminist in you leaves as his big, thick fingers ram into you faster than ever, and you start squealing like the slut you are for your incredibly hot boyfriend who’s equally as much of a slut for you, judging based on the rock hard erection against your thigh. Take that, Linda.

You’re in a daze of pleasure, too fucked out to notice Gojo wrenching down his sweats to pull out his throbbing cock, to pump it to full mast. It’s only when he rips his finger away from your cavern that you start to whimper, clawing at his arms to continue fingering you.

And he starts cooing, giving you a small kiss on your cheek as he aligns his dick with your pussy. “I know baby, I know,” and he groans as the soft, wet heat of your pussy grips on him hard as he pushes in. It’s not long before he starts thrusting, wiping your tears while driving in even faster. “Wow, good fucking pussy.”

“Satoru,” you whine, but you don’t even know for what. You were close enough when he was fingering you, but now you’re steadily approaching your climax. But Satoru, who’s attuned to what your body needs, readjusts himself to go even deeper.

It’s when you gasp loudly that a glint lights up in his eyes. “That’s the spot, isn’t it?” He drives into that spot like a jackhammer, savoring in your little squeals and moans of his name, until finally, he feels you climax.

“Oh my god,” you says breathlessly as your orgasm takes over you, convulsing while Satoru doesn’t let up, continuing his pace until his hips become more sloppy. After a few off rhythm thrusts, he comes in you, collapsing on top of you.

He’s breathing heavily from exertion, and you run your nails on his back and hair gently. You both bask in the glow of your orgasm. Of course, that is until Satoru perks his head up. “Do you think I can eat that kid Martin’s cookie? Megumi told me he doesn’t like him and that he’s annoying—-OWWW, what was that for?”

[velvetvexations]

Just saw a post telling trans women it was okay to want vaginoplasty even if it's "just" for sexual reasons (true, it's not "shallow" or "perverted" to want your body to feature a vagina for sex reasons, it's literally genitals) and some people in the comments were acting like there was some sort of unique, super strong stigma and backlash to trans women getting bottom surgery compared to other demographics, and like. Lol. Lmao even.

Of course, there are plenty of people being extremely shitty (saying gross stuff like that "angel without its wings" phrase, or "axe wound", "rot pocket"...) but I'd say most of it comes from cis people, who... Say similar shit about trans men. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've never come across someone praising FTM bottom surgery while simultaneously dragging MTF bottom surgery. Meanwhile, even within the trans community, everyone and their mother has an opinion about FTM bottom surgery and how awful it supposedly is. Joking about how "it's easier to dig a hole than build a pole" to say it's worse than vaginoplasty. Bottom surgery is not even considered an option, you're supposed to only get top surgery and be satisfied, and never dare to want to ruin your ~ pure AFAB body ~ by adding an Evil Oppressor Penis. Some people will straight up tell you that they prefer dating or being around trans men because they "feel safer since they don't have a penis" (imagine what they think of trans men who are post bottom surgery... Well you usually don't even have to imagine, as people love to loudly announce to everyone how they think transmasc bottom surgery is terrible).

So, from what I've seen, no, I don't think there's an unique bias against trans women getting bottom surgery that doesn't exist for others. I don't think they're seen as way more predatory or sexually perverted for wanting bottom surgery than other trans people (just using a packer gets you called a pervert walking around with a dildo in your pants, ffs...)

In fact, again, from what I've personally seen, I'd even say that's it's considered slightly more acceptable to want vaginoplasty than to want phalloplasty. I've seen, several times, places offering various trans surgeries listing every mainstream trans surgery and giving information about them, but suspiciously omitting phallo and meta. A "post-op" trans woman has a vagina. A "post-op" trans man has top surgery. I've lost count of how many trans people I've heard saying that vaginoplasty is indistinguishable from a cis vagina and then turning around to say that phalloplasty is just an ugly flesh tube. At some point I even read with my own two eyes an informative pamphlet about trans surgeries *made by a trans organization* saying positive things about the different types of vaginoplasty and reassuring people wanting it, but when it talked about phallo (I don't remember their stance on meta but the one on phallo really shocked me so it stuck), instead of just talking about the surgery neutrally like they were supposed to do, the text suddenly started criticizing people who wanted it for "conforming to cis society" or some stupid shit like that. Straight up, wanting vagina = good, wanting penis = bad. There's a huge taboo about wanting surgery to have a penis, even within the transmasc community. Everyone will say the most disgusting shit about it and try to discourage you to get it. Your motives get questioned, because obviously the only people who would get that kind of surgery are shallow, toxically masculine, "trying too hard to be like cis guys", wanting to become oppressors and planning to be rapists. They need to learn to deconstruct gender, don't they know they don't need a penis to be a man ? Clearly they haven't read enough feminist or queer theory. Oh, they have ? Well then, if they weren't misguided and still seek the evil penis surgery on purpose... It's clearly because they have bad intentions, they're predatory, power-hungry and probably fantasize about becoming a rapist...!!

So yeah, it kinda pissed me off. I don't really see why people feel the need to insist that if something is bad for trans women, then it must automatically be The Absolute Worse compared to every group. Idk.

I'm really sorry anon. <3 SRS should be normalized for everyone.

[thatwritterbeach]

So, About That Alley .1

Jason Todd x fmc Alex

Unedited***

Dc masterlist ALL OTHER PARTS FOUND HERE

Alex: short, curvy, red hair, green eyes, redheads go through pain meds way faster than normal people to the point I personally don't even take them, it's a joke, they last 30 min at best

Summary: Alex finds out her bf is red hood, after she spills some not so great secrets to the masked man while stitching him up.

Warnings: Vaginismus* angst, sexual assault, self-harm, depression, drug use by Alex, violence, cursing

A/N: I do not own anything dc, also DO NOT use sewing supplies for stitches, not silk, cotton or polyester it will get infected *Vaginismus: Vaginismus is a condition in which involuntary muscle spasm interferes with vaginal intercourse or other penetration of the vagina. This often results in pain with attempts at sex. The condition is different for everyone.

not my gif and not great for the story but only three were loading so

For starters Alex, or Al, did not expect to find her window bashed in, granted this was Gotham so it happens. For seconders, after pulling her gun, that Jason didn't know she had, and walking through her entire apartment only to find the Red Hood passed out in her bathroom bleeding half to death from what she assumed to be a knife wound in his thigh. A thigh her brain was telling her looked a bit too familiar but no time to dwell. For thirdsers, this motherfucker was heavy, like beached whale heavy, what with all the muscle and armor, it took her a good five minutes to heave him up into a sitting position where she could use her pocket knife to cut away his pant leg and shit that looked bad, like how the fuck was she gonna fix this bad. Hoping the passed out hero didn't die while she gathered some supplies she sped around to boil some water and get her way too extensive first aid kit. With clean hands and a sterile needle she pulled the first stitch through the wound which caused Hood to shoot awake and lightening fast reflexes to latch around her throat making her drop the needle and grasp futily at the strong arms.

"Ple-s, tr-ng-hp," she wheezed looking into white lenses giving nothing away. He released her with a shake of his head and would have rushed an apology if his voice modulator wasn't busted from the fight. With what he hoped was a less than threatening gesture he pointed to his wound and gave her a carry on hand wiggle.

"Yr a ray f sunshine," she said with only a light cough. Last time she stitches up some huge guy in her bathroom. He grunted in affirmation? And let his head thud back against her bright white, well before he showed up, wall.

"Do you often break into helpless women's apartments and try to strangle them for stitching you up," she asked to help distract him from the needle moving in and out of his skin. He clicked his tongue and gave a pointed helmeted look at her gun she had placed on the floor. If he wanted to kill her she was certain he could do it before she even lifted it, and hey the Hood was good, right?

"Don't tell my boyfriend, he doesn't like me around guns. Not sure what the problem is, Gotham is pretty shit, and in case you hadn't;t noticed I'm pretty small, and traffic-able," she said with an eye roll pouring some of Jason's beloved whiskey on the wound. Hood hissed and let out a familiar sounding curse but didn't move a muscle in what she knew to be a painfully rehearsed move.

"Don't tell him about the whiskey either, hopefully I'll get to the store first."

"Boyfriend sounds like a dick," Hood said in what was clearly a fake gravely voice.

"Your Batman voice is pretty shit. And Jason is great, fantastic, best thing to ever happen to me."

"Me thinks the dutch protest too much."

"Hey don't make me give you an ugly scar, I'm being careful here," she chastised. "Anyway, Jason is the love of my pathetic little life, without him...without him I wouldn't be here. Not that he knows, he has enough shit to worry about without me and my nonsense, but-"

"You wanna kill yourself," came his surprised yelp.

"I have a question?"

"Not till you answer mine."

"It's not that I want to kill myself it's that I don't wanna be alive sometimes, and without him I wouldn't be. Now my turn-"

"Why do you have a stitched kit," and the modulated voice started working again.

"No fair."

"I'm the one bleeding," he snarked.

"Yeah in my bathroom, which I just cleaned by the way. I kinda sort maybe hurt myself," she mumbled in a whisper knotting off the last stitch and moving to another nasty looking one.

"As in, cut yourself." Hard to tell with the computer but she almost heard hurt? In his voice.

"Yeah, no so much anymore, what with the boyfriend and all but it used to be bad, bad enough I learned to do my own stitched, not that it was hard being a seamstress already and all."

"Why?"

"It's a pain I can control."

"I get that." Her eyes shot to the white slits in surprise.

"But you-"

"Are ruggedly good looking, a killer shot, and the badass hero Red Hood."

"Humble too."

"What was your question?"

"Hypothetically," she paused to lean back and gesture for his jacket to come off so she could work on his shoulder that had been shot," if you had a girlfriend-"

"Saying my charm couldn't snag a chick?"

"If your girlfriend, was trying to tell you she can't have sex, how would you want her to phrase it?" Her hands were steady in their mission of checking for vital damage her eyes trained on the red flesh so she mistook his intake of breath as a hiss of pain and made her fingers more gentle.

"She doesn't want to have sex or..."

"Can't, like physically speaking."

"Is she a hermaphrodite?"

"No, she was r*ped as a child and now her body freaks out whenever contact is attempted," Alex ground out starring straight ahead at her task, not crying cuz that's a bitch move.

"Were you?"

"I said hypothetically." His jaw twitched inside the helmet and his fists clenched at his side aching to rip his helmet off and pull her into him.

"Hypothetically is the pos dead," he asked playing along.

"Hypothetically, yes."

"Real life good, can I ask what happens when you try to have sex, not that you should ever force yourself."

"It's like trying to penetrate a brick wall, it's excruciatingly painful and sometimes there's blood."

"i'm sorry."

"Your side doesn't look like it's gonna clot anytime soon, better lift your shirt for me." He hesitated but she hardly ever saw him shirtless as himself so fingers crossed. Halfway through wiping the blood off she paused and poked at a spot near his hip where a too familiar scar was.

"So hood," she carried on hoping he hadn't noticed what she prodded.

"Yeah?"

"Got any family?" The conversation stayed solely on him while she finished, she made sure of it and when he was patched to perfection she fixed his pant leg and sent him on his limping way. When she was sure he was gone she boarded up the window, seething at her boyfriend for breaking it instead of busting the lock. Taking deep calming breathes her brain replayed every piece of information she'd just given him. Shit shit shit how was she gonna get out of this one. Lie her ass off that's how.

Jason was do to meet her for breakfast so she got up early and made a full spread sure to add all his favorites. Part way through her mixing her brain connected the dots, Nightwing and Hood hang out, Nightwing used to be Robin, Hood must have been robin, the robins work with Bruce, as she figured out years ago, I mean come on the money for the tech had to come from somewhere. So she was dating Bruce Wayne's son.

"Honey, I'm home," Jason mocked from the door. He rounded the small corner to the kitchen and held out some flowers to her.

"These are nice, what's the occasion," she feigned interest as she put them in a vase.

"Just to say I love you."

"Love you too."

She could feel him growing nervous as he took in the masterpiece she had created. With a soft smile she pointed to a seat and he took it with only slight apprehension, failing in holding back a wince at his injuries.

"I think your ass is much better than Dick's."

"What," he nearly yelled.

"I just means everyone drools over Nightwing's ass but I promise your is better," she said conversationally like they were talking about the weather.

"How did you-"

"Figure out who Nightwing was, actually I've known for years, pretty obvious to anyone not strung out which in this city is unheard of. It didn't click until last night that you were a Robin though."

"But you knew I was Red hood?"

"Well, duh, how stupid do you think I am? The while dying thing through me on the Robin bit I'll be honest but I got there." He knew they needed to talk, he needed to apologize for not telling her, she needed to explain what the hell she was talking about last night.

"I've known for a while now, just thought I'd tow with you for breaking my window," she said munching on a waffle while his chilled on their plate.

"So you lied?" He was actually hoping it all was a lie, a mean lie but he did think he was keeping a huge one from her so.

"Actually in terms of body, your thighs are far superior to your ass," she said avoiding his question.

"What's wrong with my ass," head asked making a show of turning in his chair to glance down.

"Nothing, but I don't really wanna ride your ass." The sip of hot coffee he had tried to take was forcefully ejected and he sputtered for an eternity before locking eyes with her. His wide and shocked, her's cool and coy.

"Your thighs," she said slowly," give me life, I want to ride both of them until I can't walk straight." Her smile was so sweet she could have been offering him a cookie.

"You want to-"

"Yes, please," she didn't let him finish his sentence, or his food as she dragged him into the bedroom. He fell back on the bed with a small grunt of pain that was quickly replaced when she stripped off her sleep shorts and turned to show him her ass, which he had never seen with so little coverage, and was incased in the same shade of red as his helmet, the lace showing more than it hid as she bent over and wiggled 'getting her shorts untangled from her feet'.

"Like the color," she teased turning back around with a devilish smirk.

"Is it a matching set," he practically whimpered as she straddled his good thigh, still in dark was jeans.

"Pity you wore such a dark color, I was hoping to mark my terf," she pouted struggling slightly to get footing since her legs were so much shorter than his. He helped steady her by grabbing at her hips and helping her glide back and forth.

"Your terf," he smirked.

"Of course, if you prefer you can keep the panties in your pocket," she purred, but inside she was gagging.

"I can," he nearly giggled in delight. Well if that didn't prove last night she was spinning a tragic story. Of course, unbeknownst to him she had injected herself with a heavy enough dose of Morphine to knock out a gorilla hoping to all the gods it was enough to at least dull the pain she was getting ready to force herself through.

See masterlist for more

8-6-24

[gatheringbones]

[“Is sex bad?

People are preoccupied with the sexual dimension of sex work. These anxieties manifest in ideas of bodily degradation and the threat that sex workers pose as the vectors of such degradation. The prostitute is seen as a disease-spreader, associated with putrefaction and death. We are envisioned both as removing corruption from society (a nineteenth-century French physician spoke of the ‘seminal drain’) and as a source of contamination, disease, and death in our own right. Puta, the Spanish word for prostitute, has links with the English putrid. Another preoccupation holds that to have sex (or to have sex in the wrong ways – too much, with the wrong person, or for the wrong reason) brings about some kind of loss. Often, contradictory ideas about sex and these visceral threats or losses are intertwined in cultural depictions of the sex worker – forming a figure that Melissa Gira Grant names the ‘prostitute imaginary’.

Sometimes the connection between these ideas is obvious. For the Victorians, the ‘loss of virginity’ risks ruin and a grim death from syphilis. The ruined woman is reconfigured as an agent of destruction, spreading disease in her wake. Sometimes the loss is a spiritual decline she precipitates in others; in 1870, for example, journalist William Acton wrote that prostitutes are ‘ministers of evil passions, [who] not only gratify desire, but also arouse it [and] suggest evil thoughts and desires which might otherwise remain undeveloped’. In The Whore’s Last Shift, a 1779 painting by James Gillway, the tragic figure of a heavily made-up nude woman with hair piled high stands by a broken chamber pot in a dirty room, washing her filthy – and clumsily symbolic – white dress by hand.

Attitudes towards the prostitute imaginary can be read in context with the more familiar paradox around a specific body part. Ugly, stretched, odorous, unclean, potentially infected, desirable, mysterious, tantalising – the patriarchy’s ambivalence towards vaginas is well established and has a lot in common with attitudes around sex work. On the one hand, the lure of the vagina is a threat; it’s seen as a place where a penis might risk encountering the traces of another man or a full set of gnashing teeth. At the same time, it’s viewed as an inherently submissive body part that must be ‘broken in’ to bring about sexual maturity. The idea of the vagina as fundamentally compromised or pitiful is helped along in part by a longstanding feminist perception of the penetrative sexual act as indicative of subjugation.”]

molly smith, juno mac, from revolting prostitutes: the fight for sex workers’ rights, 2018

[lesbianp1lled]

I was a hardcore TRA for years, I even identified as genderfluid and transmasc for a short while. I absentmindedly parroted the whole “transwomen are women” BS without even really giving it any thought.

I would tell myself I had to be attracted to TW or I was a dirty transphobe who deserved to die or whatever. But when I really started thinking about it, I couldn’t get over the disgust I felt at the fact that if I were to ever be with a TW s(he) would have a penis. I tried to tell myself that it was fine and I could get over it but it bothered me so much. I would always think, “You know, I’d much rather be with a woman who’s always been a woman... When I imagine myself with a woman she always has a vagina and thinking about her having a penis makes me incredibly uncomfortable... Even when I think about a post-op TW I’m still disgusted because she didn’t always have a vagina...” but I would push those away as transphobic thoughts I had to work on and just kept saying “transwomen are women.”

I think this is a pretty common experience for young lesbians who were sucked into the TRA crowd. We were told that we were welcome in the LGBTQIA+ community and we were so happy because there was nowhere else we really belonged. So we believed them when they told us we had to include everyone or we would be just as bad as the homophobes. We let these trannies and kweers into our community and tried to force ourselves to be okay with them telling us that we HAD to be attracted to them because their magical gender identity trumped biological reality. And that you were just an ugly mean dyke if you didn’t want to have sex with a male who said he was a woman. And we were so terrified of being ostracized from the only community we’ve ever felt apart of that we accepted it without truly thinking about it.

But we end up peaking once we start giving it some thought. Because as female homosexuals, we simply cannot be attracted to males regardless of how they identify, or what clothes they wear, or whatever hormones or surgeries they get. It’s just impossible. And that’s certainly what peaked me.

I think it’s traumatizing growing up in a world like this as a young lesbian/gay man. Both sides are against you, but one of them is trying to pretend like they’re your ally. However, now that I’m out of the TRA crowd, I feel so much more free. My gender dysphoria has all but disappeared. I don’t have to worry about saying the “wrong” thing (aka just expressing my homosexuality) to one of my kweer friends and getting myself ostracized from my friend group. I am actually proud to say that I am a lesbian—a female homosexual. Where as before, I was ashamed, because being a female homosexual to those freaks is being a transphobic genital fetishist.

I hope every lesbian and gay man who is still trapped in the TRA community eventually finds a way out, because it is so much easier to breathe here on the outside.

I think this is a common thing actual lesbians and gay men go through. I also grieved the feeling of feeling left out of mainstream ‘LGBT’ spaces because I thought as a lesbian we’d be accepted. But no. We get told we have to include the opposite sex in our dating pools by trans identifying individuals otherwise we’re bigots. We get told sexuality is fluid by bisexuals. The modern LGBT community isn’t a safe place for homosexuals anymore, and it’s such a tragedy that it’s come to this.

[memeapple2]

Starters of memes that live rent free in my head part 2 the electric Boogaloo

"Play stupid games win stupid prizes!"

"Geez, you're kind of a bitch!"

"SWEAR ON MIKU!!!"

"YOU PUT YOUR GLASSES BACK ON AND FACE THE FACTS!!"

"You know I think I like you better without my glasses off!"

"I KNOW WHAT SEX IS! BUT I WON'T TELL YOU!!"

"What a stupid bald little ugly stinky piss piss boy! HE'S ALSO BALD, BALD WITH NO HAIR!! I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF FUCK YOU!!!"

"Get pickled idiot!!!"

"Pull the trigger piglet."

"Seven vaginas, maybe more! Imagine!"

"However flareon is the only fully evolved fire type pokemon that cannot learn solar beam."

"Yeah, I'm working on a melody of all 70 pokemon theme songs!"

"I hate to break this to you but you are also a bitchass white boy."

"Ugh I can't not fuck them!"

"Maybe you can't find it BEACUSE I FUCKING BROKE IT!!"

"Well, well, well, if it isn't rachet AND FUCKING CLANK!!"

"I'm here to intercourse your mom AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!"

"When you at the, when, you, you, when you at the, WHEN HE, WHEN HE AT THE!!!"

"Cool bug facts! You dumb fucking cretin, absolute fucking buffoon, you bumbling idiot, FUCK YOU!"

"Oh god oh man, oh god oh man!! OH GOD OH MAN, OH GOD!!"

"MY TIT!!!"

"Now if you turn to page 69 there is a picture of a dong!!"

"YOU LOOK AT HIM AND TELL ME THERE'S A GOD!!"

"Wow that's a lotta words! Too bad I ain't readin em!"

"Be rootin, be tootin, and by god be shootin, but most of all be kind!!!"

"Dirty naughty children get put in the pear wriggler to atone for their crimes!"

"Could you get off the toilet? I GOTTA SHIT BITCH!!"

[souryogurt64]

ill be like omg im obsessed with Pete wentz j love him and then i go down the Internet hole and find an old "interview" from a not really believable source (it's a celebrity news website in my native language) with pete where he's talking about how much sex he's having with Ashley after she just had a baby and there's details about her vagina there and I'm like,,,,,,, yeah I also happen to hate pete wentz as well

That was probably the howard stern interview. He gets a lot of criticism for that but I think Ashlee knew he was doing it. I do think he hates women a lot but I actually don't think anything he said in that specific interview was that misogynistic. I think a lot of context people are missing from that is that it frequently was in the tabloids that Ashlee was so ugly they didn't have sex, or that she was like a Christian freak or whatever, so I think it was like a damned if you do damned if you don't situation lol. Like if he got asked if he has oral sex with his wife and said no it would be just as bad as if he said yes

He probably shouldn't have said how much she weighs but like he says how much he weighs all the time, he probably doesn't understand and considering how tall she is he definitely lied anyway

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hii sex witch

im 19 afab and ive never had sex before, i masturbate sometimes but ive never had an orgasm and dont know how to "get it"?.. im generally scared of sex and identified as asexual for a long time but i dont think thats really my deal, im just scared of it. im scared of it being awkward, of my partner not finding me atractive or worse. i dont like how i look naked, and dont imagine anyone ever could. i think my vagina and my boobs look ugly and alien, i preach body positivity and being natural i think all bodies are good no matter how they look but when im faced with the reality of my own body im repulsed by these parts of it. i think something may be broken inside me because i just cant Be Normal about sex, the thought of me having it always makes me stressed and uncomfortable. i want a relationship and i love meeting new people and flirting etc. but when the person i talk to makes any sexual joke or innuendo i get super tense and scared and realise that if things get further they would probably want me to do it... and maybe i could and maybe i even want to but the thought makes me sick with the pressure. this isnt even a question, so i dont know how you could even respond but i dont have anyone i could openly talk about this in my life without feeling super weird or them just brushing it off as "you'll grow up to it" or something, and i just had to say it to someone or else i will eventually explode. hope this all makes sense ❤️‍🩹

hey anon,

come in, get cozy, grab a glass of lemonade, etc. we're gonna be here a minute.

so listen: I swear to GOD this isn't me trying to pull the "you'll grow into it" thing. I am going somewhere different with this I swear. bear with me.

first and foremost, I think the main problem you're experiencing right now is that being 19. I don't mean that in a condescending or belittling way, or to imply that you just don't want to have sex because you're 19. I'm saying that being 19 (and 18, and 20, and 21, and so on) is mostly for being worried about everything and having no idea what's going on. you have to get all that insane anxiety out of your system as early as possible in your adult years so that you can get down to business actually developing a perspective and figuring out what you want to do. I'm not even, like, a LOT older than you but trust me, by the time you're 26 you're going to feel SOOOOO different about things that you don't even realize you have an opinion about right now. when I was 19 I was made pretty much exclusively of anxiety and the cheapest bagels at the grocery store. (eating badly was not helping my anxiety.)

what I'm getting at here is that you're at like a very exciting and terrible formative age when it's the most normal thing in the world to feel like there's something uniquely awful and hideous and unlovable about yourself. when I was 19 the two most important things in the world to me were losing my virginity (lmao) and making sure I never experienced actual emotional intimacy ever because I was sure that if anyone got close enough to really know me they would realize that I was the worst person who ever lived and fundamentally undeserving of human connection. TERRIBLE place to be in; I had a lot of deeply bad and uncomfortable sex because of it.

there's a really easy solution to being terrified of sex, which I wish someone had told me when I was very scared of sex, and it's if having sex sounds like a horrific ordeal you can actually just Not Have Sex. just don't do it. it's actually REALLY easy to not have sex; millions of people do it every single day.

if you like meeting people and flirting, that's awesome! you should do that, having connections and relationships with other people is important. if you don't like sexual jokes and innuendos you can just tell people they make you uncomfortable and ask them not to do that; how they respond is actually a GREAT litmus test for whether or not those are people you should keep hanging out with. if someone isn't able to not make sexual comments about you after you've asked them not to, kick 'em to the curb!

there are tons of people in all kinds of romantic relationships who aren't having sex. that's a perfectly fine and reasonable boundary to set. it can make things a little more complicated, sure, but dating and romance and love are all complicated and messy anyway. again, great way to VERY EFFICIENTLY weed out who is and isn't a suitable potential partner. (it's also fine to not want a partner, either; there's nothing wrong with being a sociable extrovert who doesn't want to have sex.)

there's nothing broken about you for being nervous about the idea of having sex. whether you identify as asexual or not, it's perfectly fine to feel that way. it's completely fine if you change your mind tomorrow or if you feel this way for the rest of your life. and you might! maybe sex will never sound awesome for you, and that's fine! again, tons of people living very good and happy lives every day without having sex! sex isn't a measure of maturity, but knowing yourself well enough to honor your own boundaries and desires is.

I hope a kinder attitude towards your own body can come with time, and I think it will. be gentle with yourself, alright? being 19 is very silly but unfortunately very necessary, and I think you'll really like what comes after if you let yourself relax a little. whatever you feel like right now, you're actually a very normal person, by which I of course mean you have a rich and brilliant mind and will do many quietly wonderful things in your life and will be deserving of every bit of love and joy that comes your way.

also, hey - have you ever seen a therapist about anxiety? I also should have done that when I was 19.

[frostyreturns]

Frosty Ruins "Bottoms"

Are you ready for this movie review? Get ready because it starts rough and never stops getting rougher. This is a review I was dreading because it seems to have marketed itself as a cringe fag fest and the first 10 seconds of the movie didn't disappoint, I already hate it and I already have so many complaints. The movie opens on two women discussing "getting puss." You don't know these characters, you know nothing about them not their personalities, their interests their values, not even their names…but you do know about their sex lives. Not only have they prioritized their sex lives over every single other aspect of who they are, making this a degenerate starting point…but it's disorienting from a story standpoint. Why do I care about this character…what do I call this character…give me some setting, some backdrop…anything. Porn starts with more story and less focus on sex than this.

I can tell already this is going to be a constant violater of the classic "show don't tell" advice because the dialogue is atrocious. Lines like "Im in a little suit like the lesbian I am" make you reject the idea that these are even people talking…all I can see is script writers, cameramen, and a director, it does the opposite of making me forget I'm watching a movie…it makes me painfully aware of it and I don't buy it as a genuine human interaction. This is dialogue that can only be the work of a broken illiterate persons imagination or an algorithmic writing program. It's like someone asked chatgpt to write superbad but gay and without any humour or reason. Tell me this doesn't sound like a robot attempting humour... "I bet you could eat food, digest it, let it marinate and poop it out." I'm not making that up or being hyperbolic that is word for word actual dialogue from this awful fucking piece of shit horrorfest of a movie.

Although I will give them credit for one interaction where they acknowledge that some or even all of the bullying and hate they get doesn't come from being gay but from being "ugly and untalented" and show an example of a popular gay dude being widely accepted. But yeah a premise of the movie is that the people are hard to look at on purpose. Finally some acknowledgment that physical appearance plays a much greater role in bullying and acceptance than any minority or special interest status ever did.

One final point in this movies favour is presenting a completely accurate depiction of how cringe and gameless most lesbians are. The moment a woman tries to pickup other women they grow a fedora and a neckbeard and start spilling spaghetti out of their pockets. It's a reluctant point because it also makes the movie incredibly hard to watch for a whole new reason.

I have to talk about the black characters rant early on in the movie, I call her that because again I have no idea who anyone is or what to call them because who they are has taken a massive backseat to who they want to fuck. She goes on this explosive insane rant and there are so many things wrong with it I don't even know where to begin. It comes out of nowhere for one, it makes no sense, she talks about hanging up her vagina…but then her idea of hanging it up is having sex with someone else…I only know it's a guy because I was able to rewind 3 times and listen back to what she was saying. She introduces a character in the dumbest way imagineable. Imagine the first time you get introduced to a character is in a mumbly lightning fast rant about their sex life. If you slow it down and piece it together you learn she's introducing a religious character who is a friend of hers and a closeted homo. See I thought homosexuality was supposed to be two people of the same sex hooking up but she seems to think that because she can't get women and he's closetted it means they would of course be a good default couple.

The rant is also grossly blasphemous and not even just to Christians. I can't explain how bad this is you just have to hear it. "Because he's gay and fearless he's probably going to fuck me without protection, I'm gonna get pregnant, we'll have to join a church and he'll probably be the gay pastor." What the fuck is she talking about, why would a gay man be fucking her…how is she so certain he would fuck her without protection and why is she saying it like she would have no say in the matter? Why would her getting pregnant mean they would have to join a church…why would he then be the pastor of the church? You already established he was gay so why do you have to specify he'd be a gay pastor? None of this makes any sense, every sentence deviates further fom rationality than the last and every line brings with it new unanswered questions. Then it ends with her screaming "the deacons fucking the evangelist" over and over and crying. My headache has a headache. Gay people have to pray people do not watch this movie because "homophobia" will skyrocket if they do.

The movie also has some of the most unbelievable and wooden dialogue I've ever heard in my life. Nobody in the history of planet earth has ever spoken or behaved the way the people in this movie do. It's almost like to make up for the fact that it's a comedy with no jokes or humour at all they try to just exaggerate every interaction and then do it very big with overacting and overreacting. For example a football player is insisting he did nothing wrong by groping an older woman in front of his girlfriend….already a ridiculous caricature of straight men, then he tries to stop her from leaving in her friends car where they gently bump into him with the car and he explodes into hysterics like he's been gievously injured…and the entire football teams comes running to help and fawn over him like he's a gunshot victim. As I write this I figured out what this movie is and why every moment of it feels so cringe and wrong…every interaction is like a fake tumblr story, from the start it had "the whole bus clapped" vibes. Like when the principle summons the main characters to his office by getting on the intercom and announcing to the whole school "can the ugly untalented gays please come to my office." You know the saying it's funny because it's true…it goes the other way…this is not funny because it has no truth in it whatsoever. Every second of this movie is false, every line, every action, every shot…just rings of untruth and fabrication. This movie is the comedy equivalent of a real doll. It has all the same parts all the limbs are where they belong…but they are not real…there's a hollow soullessness to it, a feeling of plastic wrongness.

I said before it's like someone prompted chat gpt but it gets worse and more likely AI written the more you watch. It's like they said to combine superbad and fightclub but make it sound like it was written by tumblr and one of the criteria was that it had to be lesbians and it had to be pure unfiltered cancer.

By the way as of this point in the review I've only watched 9 minutes of this horrific piece of dogshit. This is going to be without a doubt the worst movie I've ever watched every sentence of it pisses me off. Every moment is a new thing to piss you off, this is a weapons grade bad movie…like it was made in a lab to cause frustration and braincunting. Just when you're relieved they stopped arguing over which one of them is faggot #1 and which one is faggot #2 the one asks the other if she "perioded herself." Then there is a completely unexplained "joke" where one of the students claims her vagina is owned by the government and as the viewer you're left with again so many questions…why was that supposed to be a joke? what does it mean? And please can I have at least a ten second break from incoherence and cringe?

Then in another "that happened" moment the football guy from earlier comes into class…in his full gear…because to whoever made this movie it's just a costume and football players are not people outside of playing football. He then smashes a glass and threatens her with it by mimicking dragging the glass across his throat…and the teachers response is "hey man you couldn't make that analogy with your fist?" And again so many things wrong all at once. Why is the teacher not punishing him for smashing school property and then threatening another student? Why does a teacher not understand the difference between an analogy and a gesture? Again these little details are part of why I'm starting to seriously believe my this shit is all being written by algorithms theory. It's like nobody even bothered to edit the script. It's full of lines that make no sense, jokes that have no setup or no punchline…just the cadence of a joke.

If I go in depth into everything wrong with this movie I'll literally…not figuratively have to examine every single line, because at least for the start of this movie there is not one line that is not absolutely mind numbingly retarded and frustrating. And every line has multiple things wrong with it. Listen to some of this shit…

"How come you can't buck up and learn to protect yourselves without running somebody over."

"You can beat the shit out of each other while you perform the vagina monologues,just stay in your lane until you're munching beaver at weslyan."

By the way those two lines are how the concept of them starting a fight club comes up, it's so abrupt, so out of nowhere and so retardly nonsensical…it doesn't follow at all. The entire premise of the movie hinges on a throwaway line that makes no sense. The only reason they bumped into a guy with their car was he was threatening them and preventing them from leaving because they were offering a ride to his ex girlfriend. They took this to mean we as gay people need to learn self defense…already a leap in logic because nobody was attacking them and certainly not because they were gay. Then they accept their principles notion that they shouldn't use anything to defend themselves with, a retarded idea that nobody even bothered to attempt to explain or defend…and they just accept that they can't or shouldn't use whatever means they have available to defend themselves and instead have to learn hand to hand combat…another stretch. And then decide that the best way to do this is to start a fight club with other gays where they all just beat each other up. And they do this because the principle suggested it for no reason while insulting them. And by the way I'm explaining this all way better and more clearly than the movie does, the movie is just a string of incoherent sentences that form some idea of a patchwork of a plot I'm just trying to make sense of the nonsense. This plot is not the work of an intelligence at all…nevermind a low intelligence.

I really can't finish this movie,this is normally the amount of rage and content I have after a full 2 hour movie but im only at 14 minutes here. It's not even that the writing is so atrocious, the timing, the delivery…the acting is just the worst I've ever seen. I've sat through some horrifically bad movies over the years for these reviews I've sat through countless movies and shows that I grade as F-and yet never once did I say ok I can't watch this anymore…I've always finished it. I've watched woke black sitcoms, Rian Johnson movies, femsploitation reboots and yet this is the first time I've ever had to say no I can't finish this it's too awful. This movie is without a single doubt in my mind the worse movie ever made. It has ruined my grading curve because I need a grade so much lower than an F- and it just doesn't exist. Is Z- minus a thing? If in theory that is 20 grades lower than a fail that's what I give this movie. May God have mercy on us all.

[melaniedragonnsfw]

Frankly, in this day and age, I feel ashamed to live in a world where people use fanfics as sex ed.

You can get pregnant if you had your period the day after fucking with no protection.

Yes you also can get pregnant if you do it on your period.

The copper IUD can be used as an emergency contraceptive. It is literally shoving a nuke up your pussy. I would recommend to anybody. (however having it put in does feel like shoving a nuke up your pussy too. But it’s probably not as bad as going through labor lmaooo.)

The pullout method sucks and you will get stds and accident children. Stop it and wrap up.

Your partner is a bitch and a liar if they say that using a condom doesn’t feel good. What also doesn’t feel good is gonorrhea and childbirth. So, pick and choose my friend.

No, being cummed in is not worth the STDs, UTIs and raising an ugly child. (Lets be real if you’re getting sex advice from fanfics,,, your kid gonna be ugly as shit and is gonna grow up to be a failure. Wrap it up)

People lie and cheat all the time. Get STD tested even if you think they are loyal.

Birth control is sexy. So is condoms. Use both to be ultra sexy.

Wash your sex toys. Idk what the fuck is wrong with y’all. Your genitals don’t produce antibacterial soap. Clean that shit. You will get a yeast infection or any other bacterial infection.

Speaking of sex toys, if you don’t clean your toys and expect your partner to use them, you’re crusty as hell. And frankly if your partner gets sick. No, poisoned by your biohazard dildos, you should be dragged to the middle of the town square and burned at the stake.

Losing your virginity should never hurt. Your boo just doesn’t care enough about you to get you wet. idk what else to say.

Your pussy shouldn’t be tight. That means you’re not aroused enough. Try ticking your clit or something.

People with dicks can also get yeast infections and UTIs.

Squirt is not pee. Pee stinks like pee. Squirt slightly smells like a vagina.

Not everyone is into the same kinks as you and you should always ask before introducing them to your partner.

Fucking someone with poor hygiene can increase your risk of infection.

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day.

Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday.

On Mars, sunsets are blue.

Nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities.

The letters ‘ough’ can be pronounced ten different ways.

The national bird of Peru is the Andean Cock Of The Rock.

93% of students do their research online rather than in a library.

The County of Los Angeles has a bigger population than 40 US States.

Studies have found that being a ‘bad boy’ is no longer perceived as ‘cool.’

Spiny lava lizards are less choosy about who they have sex with when it’s hot.

If you don't dream, you most likely have some sort of personality disorder.

If caught in a burning building, get low. The breathable air will be near the floor.

Women speak an average of about 7,000 words a day. Men average just over 2,000.

Lava lamps were invented by an accountant whose hobby was making underwater nudist films.

Shy people usually end up being some of the coolest people you know … once you start talking to them!

We tend to prefer the original version of a song because we heard it first, not necessarily because it's better.

In the Polish town of Suoszowa, all 6000 residents live on the same street that stretches some 9km (5.5 miles).

The Bloody Mary has been scientifically proven to be the best alcoholic drink to enjoy on an aeroplane.

If 99% of the human population thought you were ugly, about 80,000,000 people would still find you attractive.

Lypophrenia: A vague feeling of sadness seemingly without cause. This often occurs when a person misses someone.

The U.S. Army uses 1.5 billion rounds of ammunition a year. ‘Call Of Duty’ players use 1.5 billion rounds every 17 hours.

The Talmud suggests testing blockages in a penis by heating the afflicted’s anus with some warm barley bread. (Eh?)

Male bed bugs don't bother with vaginas when mating. They simply stab the female in the abdomen with their penis and ejaculate in her body.

A video game developer snuck a proposal into a game, but his girlfriend refused to play it for years, delaying their eventual marriage.

Town planners in Porters Lake, Nova Scotia seem to have run out of ideas. There are streets named This Street, That Street and The Other Street.

About one third of Australian polling stations have barbecues outside them. It is so common to buy a sausage when you go to vote that they are called Democracy Sausages.

Corn kernels are coated with cellulose that's tough enough to withstand the rigors of the human digestive system, which is why they come out almost the same way they went in!

Child marriage is currently legal in 43 U.S. states. The only states with a minimum age of 18 - with no exceptions - are Delaware, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania and Rhode Island

In 2004, a £140,000 diamond was placed in the front of a Jaguar F1 car for the Monaco Grand Prix as a promotional stunt for Ocean’s Twelve. The driver crashed on the first lap and the diamond has never been recovered.

The ‘fountain of tits’ in Treviso, Italy, is a 16th-century marble fountain of a topless woman squeezing her breasts. The statue sprinkles water from each nipple. During celebrations, the fountain spouts red and white wine, which is free to drink.

On August 8th, 2004, over the Kinzie Street Bridge in Chicago, Illinois, a tour bus belonging to The Dave Matthews Band dumped an estimated 800 pounds of human waste from the bus’s septic tank on to a passenger sightseeing boat on the Chicago River below.

Target found themselves in an awkward situation and had to issue an apology due to a labelling error that offended some 'plus-sized' customers. While selling a dress in various sizes, the small size was listed as 'Gray,' while the larger size was labelled as 'Manatee Gray'.

In 1771, Swedish king Adolf Frederick ate large servings of lobster, caviar, sausages and sauerkraut, washed down with copious amounts of champagne. For dessert, he had 14 (FOURTEEN) servings of semla – a Swedish sweet roll topped with whipped cream – with hot milk. Not long after dinner, he began complaining of stomach aches, which steadily worsened until he died a few hours later.

Thomas Jefferson's draft of the Declaration of Independence contained a passage that condemned slavery as one of the many evils brought upon the colonies by the British crown. The passage was removed from the final version for fear of alienating the southern colonies, which were heavily dependent on enslaved labourers. Ironically, although Thomas Jefferson called slavery an “abominable crime”, he was a lifelong slaveholder.

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

[grox]

No because I'm an ugly smelly obese fat bald mixed race hairy moron woman with bad breath and a tooth gap and I'm really evil too and I hate penis and I hate vagina and I'm catholic and I waz lowkey attacked as a child so if I ever have sex I'm gona throw up and kill myself and others and also I'm broke as hell and really inconsiderate of others and cruel and unfunny and lame and I abuse animals and I gott a hunchback like an igor and two drastically different feeet sizes like whitey from 8 krazy nights, and my toenails are all pointy and ragged and I got a horroble foot fungus and diabetes and high blood pressure But I will be able to have Sex soon if they add an overwatch character who matches my description to a T and I can purchase and wear cheap scratchy ugly unironed bathing suit with creases in it designed off their outfit off amazon, and give myself big ass stupid eyes and blush and fake freckles and always be crossing my eyes and sticking my hairy white unbrushed cigarette tongue out ahegao style!

I hate when girls who really wanna fuck men do their makeup so they look like overwatch cause men dont even wanna fuck women no more they only wanna fuck overwatch

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary457

12/26-27/24

thursday - friday

very long night,

we left the house at 4, now we're finally getting to relax / be out of a social situation 12 hours later, but the last couple hours were basically cheating, my gf and her bestie / one of her besties were sitting on the couch watching instagram reels. it was rather nice, she was pretty sad about dumping this guy it feels like, or not sad, just complicated and weird, because she's so not used to this whole thing.

however we started the day in the house normal, and were walking around chinatown for a bit before her friends got there, we got boba before and it was like... she did a funny surprise, the place was this chain doing an omori collab, which is very funny to me. i'm not a hater of that game, i played it expecting to hate it, and then i ended up liking it, it charmed me somehow, i think it had just about everything going against it but it won out. it was cute, the milk tea was good but i think the milk made me feel ill, before i started feeling ill, we went to this cute stuff store basically, i found this miku who is making a face like every time you are held captive in a conversation with a guy:

there was also like a little artist alley type deal in that store, which was cute, too much sonny angel trash in there though. i've come to hate those stupid babies. and the green smiski cunts. fuck them.

then we walked to the shanghai plaza area of chinatown, and went into a skincare/makeup store (i suppose i ought to say 'beauty store' instead?), my gf got some makeup and stuff, she just decided to order the skincare off amazon though better prices, mostly. sometimes i feel bad, when she buys stuff, i feel like i wish i wanted more or something or like i should want something so i don't feel stupid being there, or like, i don't know. isn't that stupid? it's pointless and best to not waste money aimlessly. the effect though, is that i feel bad, and want something and don't know what i want, and also i guess i'm worried about running out of stuff we need, and that fear stems from things re: self image and fear of not being able to 'maintain' my face as if it's going to fall apart over night. but i do sometimes think that way, like a curse is going to come for me, bad karma and sin is going to wash over me and make me ugly and expose how evil my soul is or something. some kind of dorian grey deal. or is it gray? no matter, in that store we also saw some other stuff, they sell really excessive japanese sex toys in there, not just like, abstract holes or vibrators, but now like, one is supposed to be a face / mouth / head you throatfuck? and then there are the couple anime girl fake vaginas, it's rather scary, that they're just out, people walk in not knowing that's there... i imagine kids must see them. it's very very strange. the other things were these:

this second my melody has to be the best rendition of her ever... good packaging...

then we walked around more, went into miniso which is a store i basically hate and i started to feel sick in there, and then i had to leave and go sit on a roof and wait to not feel really sick, like i'd puke or something. that went away and her friends slowly started to show up, except one but he showed up late cuz he woke up late and stuff, which was a little sad. we ate at a japanese curry place, it wasn't my favorite really... i've had better curry + katsu elsewhere, but it's nice as an option i suppose? idk. it's fine. i think i was disappointed because i was waiting all day for that... i wanted it to be super good. instead it was just fine.

then we walked around some more, her friend showed up late, her friend who is back from shanghai for a bit just talked about her recent woes and stuff, and stories with her friends. some of my gf's friends have some things they say/do that bother me... like when they hear people do drugs or something they're so shocked, or, i know the guy my gf's friend was with blows, i don't really like him, but him being unemployed is treated so... it frustrates me, it just bites idk, it's an unpleasant way to deal w/ people i think. they're very nice though, i shouldn't give such a shit.

then we went for icecream, i didn't get any because i thought i'd be home sooner and eat some of the pie we have left but we got home really late, because her friends decided to sit in the icecream place for like... 2... 3?? hours?? and it was basically okay but i felt like i was falling asleep and by 11 we left to go home, her friend and her talked a while here, which was nice, she's very good to talk with/ joke around with. we got this dumb huggy wuggy thing from a gacha on the way to la, when we last took a trip there. it was really funny to see so i felt like we had to get it. she kept playing with it, fidgeting with it, in a way that made her seem very nervous or sad. hopefully that dissipates.

here's something odd i saw while out, a man overspraying perfume on himself in his car, to go out i suppose, or maybe to cover something up for his wife? i guess now i think, what if he's cheating, and masking another woman's smell? or maybe he's masking something else, for anyone else, or he really might have been trying to go out... or masking the smell of cigs... anything... could be anything.

when she left i had her hold a cig because it was funny, she looked like a small detective holding it, because of the jacket she was wearing. she dresses very cool, sometimes.

anyhow, here are some photos i took of myself today, i really liked the outfit, kind of strange but cute:

here is a song:

not a lot done, i got a tiny thing written in the notes app though, for something much longer.

what else... idk. tomorrow i will go back to sitting inside all the time and probably not seeing people a lot, it's sort of nice to have all this right now, wish we could all hang out more but the holidays being over will also make seeing some other people easier, my friend will come over and watch me play games soon probably, and we'll just talk about whatever. that's something to look forward to. oh, my gf's friends talked about starting a minecraft server... worried about that. i imagine they'll decide it's not worth the hassle. i don't know why i'm worried. i guess like, what if i like it too much, or something. sometimes i feel so dumb when i play videogames. unless it's like a good one, which really just means it's good in the ways i need things to be good, which makes me kind of a psycho.

oh well,

that's basically it,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ninelivesastrology]

And people have been like, "But you're a woman! But you're so pretty! You can have anyone you want!" And they're not saying the quiet part out loud... "because you have a vagina." So yeah, a man who exploits me for my vagina. Easy. My vagina could be anyone else's vagina. But I'm supposed to feel special because it's my vagina. That's the trade off. Being a sex object. Which is fine when it's on your own terms, but I saw this post last night on r/TwoxChromosomes talking about the casual sex and the girls are tired. There were a few comments that I felt at one point or another.

Secretly, I want it up until it's happening and unless its absolutely toe curling mind shattering. i'm eager for it to be over. to get out. to leave. I just am at a point with casual sex where I just have zero desire to cuddle, even if i need that aftercare. i just ..i crave the warmth of actual physical intimacy with someone that I care about and cares about me

Sometimes people are unobtainable, and have been for awhile. There are absolutely times when I know who I am most interested in is completely unavailable to me, so I am willing to engage romantically/sexually with other people.

Friends with benefits is great and all as long as both people don't forget the friends part

This. I tried a few ONS but ya it was garbage. FWB is definitely a better situationship. I'm mid 30s now and I need more than just you're cute but dating is fuckin exhausting

I've had it in the past to try to forget people I was stuck on, also had casual sex with guys I wanted to actually date hoping it would turn into something more, but they always dumped me afterwards. And each time it just felt empty. So empty. I'd often cry and cry. So I don't seek it. Just like you said, it scares me when I'm attracted to someone now because men in general just want casual these days and its a recipe for disaster for me to go for it. I find myself having periods of celibacy extending to 3yrs

Lord, even the queer girls

Thank you for sharing these feelings, I didnt know how I felt about casual sex but I recently hooked up with a girl on a second date because she made it seem like she was interested in continuing to get to know me. Little did I know it was a one night stand for her & she ghosted me after the sex. I barely knew this girl but she had been telling me sweet things, cuddling, convincing me she liked me as a person. When i realized it was just for sex I felt so used I definitely let myself cry a bit.

And I even me at my most confident just deters people. I feel like I deter people, that I'm never approached.

The last time I was approached, I fucking was blind as fuck, trying to get home, didn't know what stop I was at. It was night time and I can't see at night.

I don't have my glasses or contacts because my Q was sabotaging money, stealing it and hiding it, stressing me, blah blah blah and I couldn't go to a doctor.

So anyway, I'm on the bus and I fucking open my dumbass mouth and ask a question about directions. Totally valid for my situation. Right, so this dude, drunk as fuck, smelling like a cocktail bar squeezes in front of me and for the next thirty five minutes, I have to be near him because the bus is fucking cramped.

He told me I looked like his daughter. And other shit. Just know it was bad. And I'm like, "Why do I attract alcoholics/addicts why what do I do to deserve this? I just got rid of one," like I'm blaming myself and mind you, he's so drunk and talking to me and all I can think about is how he probably can't get hard.

Like I don't know, there's a certain disdain I feel when someone has to be drunk to approach me romantically. It also makes me feel like I'm ugly? Violent flashbacks to my relationships where my alcoholics would throw themselves at me.

You don't know pain until you're in missionary and someone is sweating the alcohol out all over you, like GET OFF OF ME! GET OFF! Trauma. Trauma.

[viewersenigma]

To Rosella Basco Macapinlac,

You know what, your nanny is a weak girl, imagined that she will forced you to be the wife of the lowly low-class men or even shetrolled you that you will forced to say yes to have free sperm cells from the lowly low-class men like Akira Nishitani, Sriram Bronze, lowly commoner Castlevania fans

She terrorized you that you will be the low class rubbish rapist’s trophy wife.

Why that nanny force you injected you sperm cells from the low-class sore losers for free, even if you created accounts recently they’ve chasing you, stalking, and stealing your art without your permission, then most of those men are lowly hideous uneducated plus douchebag supremacists.

Why they forcing your to marry those opposite of you but they’re not tall either, they’re small, dumbass, hideous, and douchebags. Most men go near you are low quality then bad quality, what a waste of your face, your talents, and your entire body and skin.

Your true enemy, Kaneto Shiozawa’s ghost made those most classless zero quality men win, h Kaneto is an evil controlled your mind that you will allow the likes of those shitty men like Sriram Bromzo and Akira Nishitani TO sell your vagina and turn them rapists to breed with you that you will give birth thousands of children plus they will not gonna share their wealth to you, they will just impregnate you to make their newer family genes to have beautiful generations, that’s their ultimate goal, the reasons why they hypnotized you.

I warned you, they robbed you, of course nothing left from you. They will take your money, your virginity, your beauty, then they might weaken then their lowly henchmen will continue to rape you and abuse you like a punching bag forever, because those ugly propagandist lives matters are very self-entitled, they think they owned this world to make alive, multiplying is fun for them, so what if you died, they will use as human shield to make them alive, mayb protect them or extend their lives.

That makes them a very chauvinist misogynist pigs and they are the true feeble minded swines. They want to take everything from you then you’ll be zero if you’re with them. You’re a meat for them, you’re sex toy for them, and punching for them, they will treat you even Lowly Classless Shitty Servant of your grandma treated you low. That filthy servant is extremely low but he wants higher than you.

Because Kaneto Shiozawa made them win and made you lose forever. Because their disgusting rules are for those monkeys they're proud males, they should be dominant males who think they deserves to extend their lives for killing their beautiful victims because for those monkeys, the beautiful women are always be objectified trophy wives, they tortures beauties who has lives.

Fight it Rosy, Fight the seal of blood, you’re not belong to them, you are yourself! Believe me!

[marluxialarxene]

I was asked why I still hate Castlevania.

The opposite of them and the likes of them let the filthy Katulong do rapes on my admin almost got her pregnant,

I still hate FEXL, because why? My admin had sat on the toilet, right? Then what that Katulong do, he went inside to the bathroom while my admin is naked, that's the started that Inferior Lowly Katulong started touched my admin’s ass, rubbed her clit and her boobs, squeezed her boobs, and pulled her nipples.

The man’s ghost wants to stay inside my admin’s body, told her to let that Katulong fuck her, let that Katulong’s sperm cells welcome to her womb. My admin’s doesn’t like Katulong raping her while the possessed admin smiled while sleeping on the hospital bed, then Katulong rubbed, squeezing, massaging her boobs, nipple pulling, for the long time like 3 or 2 fucking days. The possessor truly loved staying my admin’s mind that my admin smiled but my admin’s true will is crying and angry. Because Megumi Ogata created a gastrical ulcer on my admin’s tummy then my admin’s grandma sent that fucking Katulong as the “Bantay” but a Creepy Watcher, that ugly face lick his tongue that he saw something delicious from my admin.

What Katulong do while my admin sleeping on the hospital? Rubbing her entire breasts, clit, butt cheeks, pulling nipple, rubbing her skin, spank her ass, my admin’s real will didn’t like it, it's the possessor did. My admin had woke up, there is a pain on her middle chest it might be the Katulong used her old cellphone hit on her middle chest, pain on her right chest might be Katulong squeezed it harder, then itchy reproductive organs, maybe his dirty hands rubbed her vagina while she is in a deep sleep.

That deep sleep and comatose similar to Arika’s Knock Out same Arika who did do a Sex Slave Simp Spell.

My admin’s real self didn’t liked it what the possessor inside of her do? He made her smile that he will let Katulong to be her soulmate.

Katulong never stopped hold hands like snake catched preys, kissing her, smelling her hair and even kissing her lips and even sniffing all her panties! he made that Katulong’s balls so excited to get devoured by admin’s pussy but truth Katulong’s balls are parasite wants to enter to my admin’s pussy.

So much Waste of Youth, random creeps from nowhere caused not just bad days but also big trauma too

Of course Gambzilla from DeviantArt will not matters will happen to my admin because for Gambzilla that's very racist if my admin rejected the Katulong. Make babies is very fine to Gambzilla like End of the World and Famine will fine for Gambzilla too, tell to Gambzilla’s brain, that fucking baby will complete opposite of my admin’d Lucky powers. I am sure that fucking filthy baby is the God of Destruction cause death to all humanity in real life and End of the World will not be far if that Big Creepy Kisser Pedophile Katulong succeeded seeded my admin.

Uterus, Ovaries, and Egg Cells are just toys for them

That happened after 3 years my aunt called me a “whore” 25 until 29 wasted so much many many times and youth by the filthy rubbish greedy abusive nerds and forced me to get married by the hideous filthy men by their purposes on me. They are so obsessed about my face, They think I am ugly because they think my face covered by heavy make up, what a waste, so much waste. They show they are angry without reasons because they like dominance in my life, they are totally disgusting. That's makes me super duper angry.

Those creeps rubbed their balls while their ugly henchmen like rapes on me without protected sex but I am glad it's failed to have a babies with me, why my admin will gonna waste her body to make another them or another Katulong? 🤢🤮