#Seungmin trigger warning

[kidrauhlschik]

Hard To Let Go - KSM POV

~ Hard To Catch - Strike One can be a stand alone - this is Seungmin's POV ~

The term Strike Two comes from baseball, where a batter is allowed Three Strikes at a fairly pitched ball before being called out; thus, a batter with two strikes has but one more chance to hit a fair ball.

~ please read the warnings. ~

~ TW

Warnings: ANGST w a happy ending, depression, explicit injuries, self harm, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, SUICIDE ATTEMPT!TW (PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IF IT MAY BE TRIGGERING), if this would affect you in anyway, please steer clear and stay safe. Put your mental health first! lmk if i missed anything!

A/N: Strike one can be a stand alone, but i really wanted to explore Seungmin's little depressive era, and I may make a Strike Three as an epilogue lol. THIS IS NOT A STAND ALONE THIS IS AN ADDITION TO THE FIRST PART BUT IT IS NOT NECESSARY.

Word count: 8.2k

~ TW

Choosing to walk away from your door was difficult. He wanted to knock again but at the end of the day, he knew better. He is Kim Seungmin after all. It felt odd for him to knock on your door after facing rejection. He was practically used to it from you at this point. However, walking away from your building, his brain started going in millions of different directions. That was very unlike him, but getting close to the end of the year, he began to get worried.

Was he genuinely beating a dead horse? Were you never going to see him in the way that he sees you?? A part of him feels as if he should respect your wishes but at the same time, Seungmin wasn't accustomed to losing. Ever.

Maybe by graduation he could accept the fact that you would never see him in the same way that he sees you, but he didn't want to. A part of him felt as if you cared for him too.

When he was halfway to his dorm, he got a bad feeling, but he passed it as the rejection you had just given him, which made his heart ache, it did not make sense to him. He had always been genuine with you, always trustworthy, and always there for you. He spoke of you in the highest regard. To him, you were everything. Would you never love him back? Or at least give him a chance to prove himself to you?

He’d never pressure you to anything. Which is why he kept all of his despair from your rejections, hidden and masked from everyone.

Although he was lost in his thoughts, he heard footsteps approaching him. They were fast, so much so, that before he could fully turn around, both of his arms were being held by two people, one on each side.

Panic obviously set in. His thoughts stopped, and his fight or flight instinct set in. It was hard to put up a fight when a bunch of men were around him. He wasn't sure of how many, but it was definitely more than five against one.

Despite his disadvantage, Seungmin still managed to free one of his arms. With his right fist, he was able to make contact with the chin of one of the men. In retaliation, they held him back once again, and the same guy that Seungmin managed to land a punch on, returned the favor by landing a hit near his eye.

After recovering from the hit, Seungmin tried to open his eye, only to be met by complete darkness. The guy that had hit him managed to hit him with enough force to break the skin above his eye, causing the blood to pool through his vision . Had the guy aimed a bit lower, Seungmin’s actual eyeball could’ve been seriously hurt.

It would only get worse from there.

The next thing he knew, a sharp pain came to his left leg. He heard his bones breaking before he could actually feel them. That caused him to drop to one knee.

He heard laughs and rambling but his brain focused on the pain coming from the rest of his body. They were restless. Anytime he would try to look up or stand, another hit would land on his gut, or someone would step on his broken knee.

Once he fully dropped to the ground, he felt someone step on his wrist, the pain was so intense that he was scared his skin and bone would rip from the impact. At that point, he was too confused to understand the situation, all he knew was that he was supposed to leave. Sadly, the people that were holding him down had different plans.

Next thing he knew, one of the guys that was holding his arm, brought his arm up and kneed his elbow so that his elbow would fold backwards; that was a pain that he never imagined he would feel.

The punches and kicks didn’t stop. They were mocking him. Whoever they were, they wanted to make sure Seungmin wouldn’t be able to get back up.

He wondered what would have happened if he had never gone to visit you. He would have probably practiced for the upcoming game with the guys. Instead, his thoughts were racing back to when he was with you.

As the group left him blue and bloody, all he could think about was you. It all led to you.

He stared at the stars above. The sky was clear, but to him he could only see the blurs up above.

He wondered if he would die. How ironic. After all, you'd end up being the death of him. That wasn't true though, but he had no one else to blame. So he chose that the person at fault would be you. After all, if it wasn't for you, he wouldn't have been walking home this late on his own.

It's irrational, but as his vision began to fade from all the hits to the head he'd gotten, all he could think of was your smile. How you laughed when he picked you up in the baseball field after you enjoyed his passion with him. His last thoughts before he lost consciousness were of your rejection. You dismissing him like you'd done before.

He felt stupid.

He hoped that he wouldn't wake back up.

~

When he finally opened his one functioning eye, he automatically closed it again in response to the fluorescent lights.

"Min." It was Chan's voice.

"It'll be okay man. We are all here for you." Of course it would be Chan as the guiding voice. That alone, made Seungmin concerned. His brain seemed to block off the night before, it was like trying to catch up to something he wasn’t there for. All he knew is that he wanted to get up, he wanted to move and inspect his surroundings, but he couldn't even achieve that. It was confusing to him.

"Y/N is on her way." That name. Your name. He fought his fuzzy thoughts to remember why your name mattered so much at the moment.

"No" It was barely audible, but that's all he could manage to say after just waking up.

"Hey guys, the doctor is here." That was Minho's voice, Seungmin could tell, even thought he couldn't even see him yet.

He heard a couple of footsteps. He couldn't quite understand the situation yet, but he assumed that the guys were making space for said doctor.

For a second he wondered why a doctor would be relevant in the situation but then his mind started racing once again.

"Hey Seungmin, how are you doing?"

He didn't open his eye.

"Seungmin, I'm your doctor. My name is Dr. Jae-Soo Hun. I'm here to help you. Can you hear me?"

At the question, Seungmin tried his best to open one eye to show the doctor that he was conscious, which was very difficult considering how many painkillers he was under, which probably didn’t help the slowness of his brain at that moment. Once again, Seungmin managed to open his eye because after all, he was still the best at everything.

"Doctor?" Was all he could muster.

"We have taken your vitals. You have no damage to any of your vital organs and it looks like you'll recover like a champ in that regard." Champ. Seungmin had always been a champ. He knew that. "However, you did take some serious hits." That made it click. He finally remembered that after he left your place, he was caught by surprise and beaten. The doctor’s words made Seungmin want to chuckle at the understatement, but he didn't have enough energy to do so.

"What..." He took a heavy breath, "What does that mean?"

The doctor sighed and responded, "It means that you are very strong, but a full recovery will almost seem impossible based on what your X-ray exams tell us. However,-"

"However?! Is that not enough?" It was Changbin to butt in. The doctor didn't take him into account though, he kept on explaining.

"That means that you should have died. You're lucky to be with us right now." Seungmin’s first thought was that the doctor was being a bit dramatic. Sure, he was jumped but it couldn’t have been that big of a deal. Right? He’d recover just like he’d recovered from previous injuries in his past. At least that’s what was running through his brain.

"I'll be okay for the upcoming game right?” He looked at his teammates, but the guys, wearing somber expressions, were looking at ground, unwilling to make eye contact.

"Kim Seungmin, it’s a miracle that you’re alive right now. You suffered enough blood loss to have permanent brain damage in the best case scenario. Based on the damage caused by the assault, one wrong hit would have killed you on the spot.” The doctor stood tall. Making his point clear.

"Does that mean I can't play the next game?” To him, what the doctor was saying were just words. There is no way that the perfect Kim Seungmin would ever miss a game. Everyone knew that it was on Seungmin to lead the team to the finals, but no one anticipated what was to come.

"I apologize Mr. Kim, but your right wrist is shattered, and so is your elbow."

Seungmin immediately became clear headed at the doctors words. His right arm? That meant that he couldn't throw a ball, he couldn’t bat, and that he couldn’t catch. Dread fell heavy on his chest, his breathing halted as he actually took in reality.

The doctor continued, "Your left knee is also broken, and you spine took a bit of damage as well.”

"Okay so I can skip one game," He could recover right? It would take some time, but he is sure that he would be fine for the last game of the season. “But I can come back this year right?”

Unfortunately, the doctor looks at him grimly.

"Mr. Kim. I am afraid that you will have to leave your baseball career behind in order to prioritize your recovery." Seungmin couldn’t see, but Jeongin turns his back from the doctor to cry at the wall. Chan holds Felix’s shoulder as the pair try their best to not breakdown as well. Changbin looks as if he’s about to commit murder, and the rest of the guys are still looking at floor, trying to keep themselves together. They’re not mourning a player, they are feeling for Seungmin’s situation, because they all know what this will do to him.

"I can’t do that." Seungmin gathers himself again. "Baseball is everything to me. That’s my thing. That’s the thing I love the most." And you, but right at that moment, with each passing second, all the love he has for you is slowly turning into red hot hatred. Poison invades all memories that involve you.

"I'm sorry Mr. Kim, but in my professional opinion, that does not seem like an option based on your body's current state. You’re going to have to go through physical therapy for the foreseeable future. Perhaps, maybe in the far future, you could recover enough to participate in the sport.” It’s like the doctor was not aware of what he was saying, he had no idea that he was shattering Seungmin’s future like a wrecking ball on glass.

"Doctor, you don’t understand, I'm going to join the Lotte Giants." He looks at the guys who are still avoiding his gaze, “Guys! Tell him! You guys know me, tell him I’ll be fine!” His tone changes from confusion to desperation with every word. Almost begging for this reality to be a dream.

"Mr. Kim..."

Seungmin's eyes search the bed, almost hoping that his body will respond to his pleads. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t break through the pain holding him back.

“No…” His voice timid and broken. Chan thinks to himself that he’s never seen Seungmin this way, not in the slightest. One of his best friends, the rock to support on, the comedic relief to fall back on through tough times, the guy who is always there for everyone. How is he supposed to help him? He knows what Seungmin truly wants, and it pains Chan that he can’t help him through that.

If they were under different circumstances, Minho would laugh, because if any of the guys were in Seungmin’s current state, Seungmin would go and make a deal with the devil to help them out. Minho would do the same for him. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the devils number, so all he can do is let the silent tears stream down his face with a bitter smile.

Seungmin truly breaks when he catches a glimpse of Felix and Changbin. Felix has tears streaming down his face, and he is trying his best to keep quiet, while Changbin let's silent tears fall down his cheeks as he stares at the doctor, his face being unreadable between anger and sadness.

Tears unwillingly begin to catch up to the champ. Finally understanding how dire the situation is, reality finally settles in. His delusions begin to fade and he starts seeing the world for how it truly is. Cruel. Unfair. Brutal. That was a side of the world Seungmin had never seen before. The go-to-lucky guy was getting his light dimmed because the universe decided to finally show him what reality is truly like.

"Please get out." Seungmin''s voice is cold and harsh, which was very unlike him.

"Seung-" Chan tries to reason with his friend before he is cut off.

"and don't tell Y/N. I don't want to deal with this, I don't want to deal with anyone, much less the pity."

Through sobs, Felix manages to speak, "Seungmin we don't pity you."

"Get out!" It's more of a plead than a command. The guys do not know that the second they finally walked away, Seungmin broke down to pieces. If he could've trashed the room he would've, but instead, he thrashed around the bed to the best of his ability as silent sobs caught in his throat at the acknowledgment that his future is non-existent.

Everytime he closes his eyes, he sees your face. The image of every rejection you have given him replays in his mind. If he hadn't gone to you, he would be fine. It's technically your fault. His downfall is all because of you. The person he loved the most is the cause of his demise, and he doesn't think he could ever recover from that.

The fact that he still loves you is poisoning his brain. It feels like a betrayal to himself. The love becomes toxic in his blood, every bit of affection turns into red hatred.

The thought of his resentment towards you simmers in his brain as he calms down and looks at the white ceiling. He continues reliving the night prior, yet he can't remember who the culprits of his incident were. He never had a chance to pinpoint them, his first priority was to get away, but he never could.

The rest of his hospital stay becomes miserable for him. Starting off from the events that took place when you tried to visit him.

All he could think about was your selfishness as you plead with him. Every word becomes more and more hypocritical. Every encouragement is a lie. The pain in his body and the stress of the situation becomes too overwhelming for him.

He wanted to share his pain. When he took everything out on you he felt relief, but something about being the reason tears were streaming down your face irked him. He knew he felt guilty. After so long of being the reason for your smile, and wanting nothing more than to make you happy, causing misery for you felt off. He pushed through those feelings and turned them into pride. He should feel proud. After all, you’re the reason he’s lying there, broken.

Useless.

~

He only allowed Jeongin to take him home from the hospital, the youngest being his closest friend. Yet, he didn’t speak to him much at all.

“How are you feeling?” He would keep on asking, only to be met by tight lips and silence, which was more than enough according to Seungmin.

Seungmin refused to ask for help, luckily his friends would come by without asking first. They’d cook for him, though he didn’t eat much. They’d clean for him here and there, but Seungmin wasn’t doing much aside from lying in bed and simmering in his own misery.

You’d come too, but he never let you come inside.

The guys would question him in the beginning, wondering why he had it out for you specifically, but they stopped bringing you up when he finally responded with, “I was coming from her house when it happened.” Knowing Seungmin’s mind was probably a riddle at the moment, they just assumed that the anger would pass, leaving just despair for the broken boy, but the anger stayed to infect more than the relationship between you and Seungmin.

It all started one night when he was alone. He simply wanted to use the restroom. All he had to do was get out of bed, hop in his chair, and make his way to the bathroom. Simple.

He never struggled for anything, so having to do such a simple task seemed like nothing but a small task. Things changed when he was trying to get out of his chair by gripping the porcelain counter with his good hand, and his hand slipped on the surface.Leaning forward, he tried to catch himself, but was caught off guard by his own weight on just one hand. He hit the ground hard, with his good hand trapped between his body and the floor. His body at an awkward angle between the chair, the counter, and the toilet, the circumstances making it almost impossible for him to move.

His face laid on the bathroom tile, features contorting in pain, it dawned on him once again how useless he felt in his situation. He couldn't use his right arm to wedge himself to a different position without pain shooting through his body. He kept on trying to use his good leg to find a stable footing or grip on his surrounding, only to flop it around to no avail.

Before he knew it, tears were streaming down his face for the first time since that day in the hospital.

This life didn't feel like his own. The golden boy would have been out tonight, maybe eating barbecue with his friends, or maybe singing karaoke with you.

You.

His anger slowly took over his sadness as it had before.

He didn't need you, or anyone for the matter. He only needed himself. He couldn't rely on anyone because if he did, he would be vulnerable again. He would be open for the world to come back and break him down, and he couldn't allow that.

So instead of wallowing in self pity on the bathroom floor for any longer, Seungmin used his broken hand to get a grip on the cold tile. The cast making it a bit more difficult to angle himself properly. Despite the shooting pain that felt as if his bones were on fire from the pressure, he forces himself to work through the pain. He needed to prove to himself that he could do it.

After a few agonizing minutes Seungmin was back in his chair. Panting from the exertion while holding his casted arm, he willed his arm to go numb.

Once he caught his breath, he made a mental note to start working out in whichever way he could to make up for his unusable limbs. At the thought he started laughing, slowly at first, but gradually cackling at himself. The fingers on his good hand reach his thigh and he began digging his fingernails on the bare flesh. As his laughter died down, he glanced down to see scratch marks.

Pathetic.

He thinks to himself because of his behavior. He’s never been like this. Maybe because things had been too perfect before, his glass mansion had shattered and now he had to walk through glass for the first time in his life.

~

After the bathroom incident, Seungmin began to lock his door, opting to ignore the knocks, texts, and calls of not just you, but the rest of the world as well.

The task of shutting everyone out became significantly more difficult when he had to go back to school.

After being in a wheelchair for a month, and excelling in his physical therapy, the hospital gave him the clearance to start using crutches. Which meant, it was time for him to go back to school, and to confront all of the people he’d been ignoring for the past couple of weeks.

Chan and Changbin had been the first to approach him on his way to class.

“Hey Seungmin!” Changbin appeared in front of him seemingly out of nowhere, and when Seungmin tried to go around him, his eldest friend blocked his way.

“Hey man, where have you been? Why haven’t you been answering us? We’ve been worried. The only reason we haven’t called the cops to do a wellness check is because the hospital said you’ve been going to your physicals.” Seungmin finally looks up at Chan, but he continues. “I understand you’re going through a lot man, but you can’t just ghost us like that.”

To all of his friend’s concerns, Seungmin merely responds with a question. “Why did you check with the hospital about my personal business?” The guys’ expressions fell.

Seungmin was somehow colder than he had been before. He wasn’t really himself when he left the hospital, but the guy in front of them right now was worlds apart from the friend who they may have lost.

The old Seungmin was kind, always smiling, and he couldn’t stand to see anyone down. The second he walked into the room, the energy shifted, brightening up everyone’s spirit. This Seungmin radiated soul-sucking hatred.

Changbin holds back any furthering questions, opting to ease the mood, “Hey man, we just wanted to make sure that you were alright. It’s been pretty shitty without you around.” He smiles to himself, more from awkwardness than genuine joy.

"I'm perfectly fine." He was not. "With everything that has happened, I just feel like I need to be on my own," Chan tries to interrupt him, but Seungmin continues. "I want to be on my own." Lies. "You guys are too overwhelming, I'm going through enough shit as it is. I don't want to deal with you guys as well." The last thing Seungmin needed was to be alone, but he didn't know that yet.

Chan being the person that he is wanted to talk to Seungmin, and tell him that avoidance was not going to solve his problems, but before he could say anything, Changbin put his hand on his shoulder, pulling him back.

In his head, Seungmin was right. This just proved it. If they cared, they would have said something to him, they would have broken the door down of where he hid, they would have called the cops for a wellness check to get a point across. He forgets that not everyone is like that.

Not everyone is how he used to be.

"I'll get going now." The two step aside to watch Seungmin slowly make his way to class.

His first time seeing Minho, Hyunjin, and Han went pretty much the same as it went with Changbin and Chan.

Nothing prepared him to see Felix and Jeongin in his doorstep, seconds down from forcing his door open.

After they'd been knocking for an hour, and when they started threatening to tear the door down, Seungmin finally made his way to his door.

"What do you two want?" He said as Felix was in the middle of knocking. Again.

They both looked surprised that he would even open the door in the first place. Almost expecting for the golden boy to hide away like he had been as of lately.

With just one glance, they could tell that this was their only shot.

Felix was the first person to break the silence. "Are we not your friends?" He hoped to talk him out of his reclusiveness.

"No." Seungmin responded without missing a beat.

The two were at a loss for words. They expected a lot, a breakdown, a screaming match, a heart to heart, but a denial felt out of place.

"Seungmin, I know you're going through a hard time," Felix starts but he gets interrupted before he could finish his sentence. "Do you Felix? Do you really know what I'm going through?" Seungmin challenges.

Always the most level headed, Felix defends, "No. I don't know what you're going through, which is why we are here in the first place."

"Then leave." Seungmin goes to shut his door, until Jeongin's voice cuts through the tension.

"You're my older brother." Seungmin only looks at the ground, not daring to look at the youngest in the eyes. "Please let me be with you through this." Through this. Do they not understand that there is no 'getting through this'? This was his new tragic reality.

"There is no 'we' Jeongin." He looks at the youngest. Felix and Jeongin looked hopeless. They couldn't believe that their best friend was gone.

"We need you." The fox eyed man said with anger, but it was more outrage from Seungmin's words.

Seungmin laughs sarcastically. "You needed a baseball coach, well he's kind of out of business now." Once again, he goes to shut the door, but Felix chimes in next. "We need you for more than that."

Bile threatens to flood Seungmin's senses. They need him. Had everyone been a leach in his life? He wonders why he had allowed himself to be so good to everyone without expecting anything in return.

One more reason to hate himself. He was foolish. People took advantage of him. He couldn't let that happen ever again.

"Well, I needed you guys for the team." He stares straight at Jeongin for the next few words. "I'm not in the team anymore, so I don't have any use for either of you." He didn't mean that. "So if the two of you could stop pestering my life, I'd greatly appreciate it." Please don't leave. "Please don't bother me ."

He shut the door in their face, ignoring all calls and messages going forward, which all faded to few and far between. All except for yours.

~

He was stable, going through the motions, doing his school work to at least graduate, but he didn't have much motivation to do much else until one day he stayed in the library past 1AM.

He'd been mindlessly studying, and memorizing everything as he always did.

That was, until he was interrupted by a random stranger.

"You have a great singing voice." The words brought Seungmin out of his book. Blinking his way to focus on the source of the sound.

Was he singing? He didn't even realize.

"It was quiet but this place is a bit empty, I could heard you from a couple of seats down."

Oh.

He clears his throat before focusing on his textbook again. "I'm sorry."

"Hey," She said to catch his attention. He finally looked up to see her, and without a shadow of a doubt, she was gorgeous. "No need to apologize. Seriously, I would have thought you were a celebrity if you weren't in a college library." She moves to sit beside Seungmin, but an uneasy feeling settles in his gut. His skin begins to tingle with anxiety. Which was also new to him.

He chooses to ignore his uneasiness for now. It could have been the 1AM deliria.

"Do you really think so?" He asks. Was she being serious? Or mocking him? He never really thought he had any talent for singing. Nowadays, he doubted everything he did.

"I think that your voice is amazing. A golden voice if you will." She said in good nature.

She seemed beautiful, kind, positive, and most of all, she reminded him of you.

The mere thought brought him back to reality. The same reality in which he scratched through his recently uncasted wrist. Blood seeped through where he managed to break through his own skin. It was almost as if it distracted him from reality, but when the pain became too much, he realized it wasn't a distraction, but an escape.

He wiped his wrist on the fabric of his sweatpants, clearing his throat before slamming his book closed.

"Excuse me. I have to go." He start throwing all of his belongings in his bag before he moves to grab his crutches.

She stands up and walks around Seungmin. "Here let me help-" "Don't." She stands back, confused, but Seungmin looks at her. Eye to eye, almost challenging, which leaves her even more confused.

"Hey I'm sorry... I just thought that-" He interrupts her again, "I don't care."

As he walks away from her, he pushes all thoughts of you to the back of his head. All you ever brought him was pain, there was no point on even pondering on the fact that he felt like his heart was being suffocated from the memory of his past.

~ TW!

He had given the rest guys a proper rejection so they wouldn't chase after him. So why couldn't he bring himself to do the same to you?

If he was being honest to himself, he could hardly stand to look at you. Everytime he hears your voice, he gets reminded of everything he'd lost. His recruitment, his team, his friends, his passion, his dignity, and his heart.

Everytime you'd approach him, he simply ignored you, and tuned you out. The more you did it, the easier it became.

He didn't want to hear your apologies, or your pleads. He wondered what you truly wanted, and assumed that you just wanted to have your lovesick puppy back. Afterall, no one truly missed him, they simply missed all he used to do for them.

He told himself that he was better off, but in reality, he’d never felt more lost.

His life was always linear. He’d been the best at everything, so he’d never had to wonder what was next. Once it was so simple. Win in the play ground, get good grades, win baseball matches, get into a good school, go pro, get a family and just allow life to run its happy course.

Now everything that he knew was gone.

He felt hopeless, not knowing what comes next, was it even worth it to keep going to school? If he isn’t playing baseball, what else is there for him to do?

The dark thoughts approach the day of his birthday. He received calls from everyone, and the only ones he answered were from his parents.

“Are you doing anything fun to celebrate tonight?”

“Yes mom.” Was all he gave her.

To his parents, Seungmin was still the same, though he couldn’t play baseball, they knew the talented young man would find something else he was good at and excel in that. They knew that he had a strong support system, and a strong will, so they weren’t worried about their son.

If only they knew what Seungmin was really going through.

Turning a year older filled him with dread. He sat alone in kitchen table, silent tears rolled down his face and he just let them. His stomach roared with hunger but he didn’t have anything in the fridge. Why eat if he doesn’t need the energy anyway? Why celebrate his birthday if he was alone? Why age if he didn’t have a future?

He saw nothing after college. Why live for a future that is not even there?

His left hand makes its way to his uninjured right arm and begins to manically scratch the inside of his arm where a cast once sat. A new habit of his, one that always leaves him with scars where his nails had dug so harshly into his own flesh.

He tells himself that he deserves it. If he was better he wouldn’t be in this situation. If he was better he wouldn’t be hurting himself. If he was better…

He goes to stand, but forgets his own immobility for a split second, leading him to land on the floor. Sobs rip through his body, was the room amplifying his cries? He hits his fists against the ground in desperation. Maybe if he begged loud enough, the world would open up and swallow him whole, freeing him from his pain.

Maybe he could free himself of his pain. The worst thoughts run through his head as he crawls towards the knife drawer. It would be for the best right? He'd be ridding the world of one more problem.

As he grips the handle of one of his sharpest knives, his vision begins to blur. He could hardly breathe and his tears make everything cloudy.

He hovers the knife over his previous scars. He can feel them, as if they itched to be reopened.

As the tip of the blade digs into his skin, his hands begin to shake, he could hardly keep the grip on the handle of the knife. He felt as if he was drowning. He tried to focus on his task but his brain had a funny way of seeing things.

How pathetic would it be for someone to find him like this? Dead in his own kitchen on the day of his birthday. How ironic. He can see the posts and headlines, "The Golden Boy and his demise." The golden boy. He would laugh at the term if he were under different circumstances.

As he pushed the knife deeper into his skin, his breathing got more erratic. Why couldn't he at least do this?

He couldn't hold the knife anymore, it felt as if his hands cramped up. He brought his hand to his neck, trying to rip his own shirt open. He felt suffocated, as if he was choking on air, it was overwhelming.

He was going to kill himself.

He couldn't believe it. He wanted to die, but he didn't have the guts. Why couldn't he just die?

The kitchen was dark, and all that could be heard were hit gut-wrenching sobs.

How could one person be in so much pain? When would it end?

It felt like a lifetime before Seungmin stopped crying. He almost felt numb, as if he cried himself out, but he could do nothing but stare at the wall across from him.

There were no thoughts running through his brain, at least until a particularly loud thunder brought him back to reality.

He looked around the room, eyes swollen, and mouth dry. He couldn't even muster up the effort to move. All he did was listen to the rain outside.

A thunderstorm, so peaceful and full of life. He envied it.

Then, another sound would cloud his senses. It was a ringtone, particularly the ringtone he set for your contact. A soft melody to contrats the harsh storm outside. He tried to ignore it at first, but then the ringtone started over again, and again, and again. He wondered if you'd ever get tired of calling.

However, in the midst of the rain and the melody, he started humming to himself. A random tune at first, but slowly he began to formulate words along with his own melody.

Maybe it was because you called him, or maybe it was because he still loved you, but all of his memories of you came back to haunt him.

He began to wonder if he'd made the right choice. If he would have done things differently, would you still be there? Would you see him in the same way that he sees himself?

Though he doesn't want to think about you, he sings a small tune, that may have had you as the muse.

"If I hadn’t let it go in the end Will we ever be happy again? It’s useless, everything is useless, even if they say it’s useless Thoughts keep growing in my head Would it have been better if I did better? Would you have laughed if I did the opposite? It’s useless, everything is useless, even though I know everything Regret keeps growing in my heart"

He lays in the same spot for the rest of the night, repeating the same lyrics in his head over and over again until he could find the will to get up and write them down.

-

A week later, he was back to his new usual stoic self. He threw a hoodie on and got ready for class. Yet, he didn't expect for you to be on his doorstep as he walked out of his dorm.

Whatever game you were trying to play, he wouldn't fall for it. So he simply pretended as if you weren't there, assuming you wouldn't be there by the time he came back.

He was wrong.

Day in and day out, you remained in the same place. He never acknowledged you, and you never acknowledged him.

To him, you were like a mosquito that refused to leave him alone. Yet, after two weeks, he wondered when you'd even go to class, or cheer practice, or anything else for that matter.

He didn't allow himself to ponder on it much, because the more that he allowed himself to think, the more he would feel, and the more he would feel, the more he would hurt. Seungmin was tired of hurting.

Still, he'd lay awake at night wondering if you were foolish enough to sit alone in the hall of a bunch of men's dorms. Turns out, you were stupid enough to do so. Whenever he'd feel restless, he would look through his peephole and find you slumped over in the corner of his line of vision, and he could do nothing but sigh at your stupidness.

When week three rolled around, he began to wonder if you did anything aside from keeping guard by his door. He still wouldn't acknowledge you, but he assumed there was no way you made permanent residence in the men's hall.

He took it upon himself to find out just how stupid you were. Turns out, you were not only stupid, but also idiotic. After hearing your teachers say that you'd been absent for three weeks, Seungmin wanted nothing more than to kick you where it hurt most.

He questioned why you were doing this in the first place. Why couldn't you let him rot away in peace. Why did you always have to meddle in his affairs?

Why was it that when he finally pushed you out of his thoughts, you found a way to meddle back in?

~

After a month of constantly ignoring your presence, things became harder. Not because Seungmin learned how to forgive and let go, but because he was afraid that you'd be dead in the morning and it'd be his fault.

Totally not because a freezing cold thunderstorm hit the city, and totally not because he was worried about your well being.

He tried to forget that you were there, but every time he'd close his eyes to sleep, he could see you shivering under a thin towel, sitting outside for no reason whatsoever.

He tossed and turned until he was wide awake. "God-fucking-dammit." He hopes that once he makes his way outside, you'd given up, too cold to stand being stupid. Boy, was he wrong.

When he opened the door, he finds you in the same position he saw you last.

"You're going to die out there." He says while looking down at your shaking form.

"Y/N, go home." You pretended as if you couldn't hear him.

Without giving it much thought, he limped out and sat beside you.

You turn to face him, "Go-go inside." Your teeth were vibrating against each other. The freezing cold rain had taken its toll on you, but Seungmin had underestimated you. You were just as, if not more, hardheaded than he was.

He couldn't comprehend how you'd been out the for so long. The rain and the cold felt as if needles were piercing his skin with every drop.

"Seungmin." You said.

"Y/N." He challenged.

The two of you exchanged looks before breaking eye contact and looking forward again.

After a couple of minutes, he breaks the silence.

"Why?" He had begun to shiver as well. He couldn't believe that you had sat out there for hours through this hell.

You let out a small laugh, which sits odd with him. Had you finally gone mad?

"So you would talk to me." With a sad smile, you look at the ground. The six words made Seungmin shiver and he wasn't sure why. Yet they make something take over him, "C'mon, come inside." He struggles to get up, and immediately, you're at your feet trying to help him, but he pushes you away. He still doesn't want your help or your pity.

He tells himself that he would do the same for anyone else, ignoring the part of his brain that screams comfort at your form.

"You can take a shower in the spare room." He says, as he grabs his crutches once again, and makes himself towards his own room to shower as well.

"All of my clothes are soaked." Of course they are.

"I'll put some pajamas on the bed for you."

You nod and scurry off, which Seungmin is thankful for. He feels vulnerable in front of you, but he doesn't know how scared you were in front of him.

You didn't fear Seungmin, but you knew you walked a tightrope in his head.

Once Seungmin finally laid in bed, he hoped that you'd be graceful enough to leave before his classes started, but much to his dismay, you still lay on his couch as he rushes out of the door to make it to his early class in time.

He did not expect you to overstay your welcome, and to find you in his dorm when he came back that afternoon was a bit startling, especially after being alone for so long.

"Go home." Is the only thing he tells you once he walks in, but you ignore him.

A day later, he sits on the opposite side of the couch, but he doesn't say anything.

He wanted you to speak first. Why did you waste a whole month by his doorstep? Why couldn't you just forget him in the same way that everyone else had?

As he sat there, running through a million scenarios in his head, he heard you sniffling, and he almost wished that he hadn't looked up.

Your body shaking with sobs. Eyes shut, as tears streamed down your face. Mouth shut open, trying to muffle your cries. Hair a mess, hands shaking, face flushed, you seemed so vulnerable.

Every fibre of his being wanted to hold you.

Every fibre of his being still hated you.

"Seungmin?" He heard you, but he was too lost in his own thoughts to acknowledge you.

"Can't you tell that I love you?"

His world halted.

"Have you really not been able to tell that I have loved you since our second year?

It was a joke. It had to be. Just another futile attempt to get him to talk to you.

"Are you really that stupid? Seungmin, I have fucking loved you since that day when I couldn't land a flip. You came up to me and told me that I was worth something. How are you so dense?"

He remembered the day. It was the day you began to see him as a person. You finally saw through his golden persona, and saw the boy trying his best in the shadows.

He still refused to let his guard down. "Don't lie to me out of pity."

"Please shut the fuck up for a second?" That caught him off guard.

"Have you thought of how much you hurt me by cutting me off? You hurt everyone Seungmin." You stood up, and looked down at his sitting form.

You couldn't see the millions of thoughts running through his head. Had he hurt anyone? He thought that it was for the better to close himself off. Were you lying? The self doubt creeped into his head as it often did.

He began picking at his scabs before your next words.

"You are so much more than baseball. You're fucking Kim Seungmin. You are the guy that has always been there for everyone that you cared about, so it seems very fucking selfish to me that you refuse to let anyone be there for you." Your tears are shocking to him. Your tears aren't dramatic, but they're desperate, almost screaming into what Seungmin tried to ignore.

"You are the guy that brightened up my life for the longest. You are the fucking reason that I am still alive right now!" Your hands begin to shake, something Seungmin recognizes all too well.

"Have you thought about the fact that no one gives a shit if you can play baseball or not?! We knew that it hurt you, but we could've helped you through it. You're so obsessed with being perfect. We don't need you to be perfect!" He analyses your every word. Though he finds it hard to believe, he didn't ever think that anyone ever saw him as anything but perfect.

He sits in silence as your voice reaches a screaming point. "You are the reason I get up every morning. You are the reason I try my hardest everyday. If you aren't there, then what the hell do I have to fight for?!" Your breathing becomes rapid, which makes Seungmin regain consciousness in what feels like forever. "You are so much more than the golden boy-" You fall to the ground, unaware that Seungmin follows right next to you. "You're Seungmin." He sees you gasping for air, and he can't think of how to help you. Every emotion and thought that he has focuses on you.

"You're my-" Your words refuse to come out. "You're my Seungmin."

That's all it takes.

All of his makeshift walls crumble down at your words.

He still doesn't feel safe, but if he would risk it all again, tragically, it would be with you.

He sees you gasping for air but he doesn't know how to help.

As you begin to sob, he brings his unsteady hand to your back. The same hand that had done so much damage to himself. Yet, he doesn't think of that now. He only thinks of you.

You visibly recoil from his touch, and he almost pulls away.

"Y/N."

You're not hearing him. Your eyes search the floor, your lungs yearn release, and your chest begs for freedom,

"Seungmin." He hardly hears you.

He knew that you needed him, and although it was a cause of resentment at first, he couldn't help but think that if he were to be destroyed again, he'd risk the chance for you. All of the feelings he pushed back came crashing down all at once. So he did what helped him with the same scenario in the past.

He began to sing.

"If I hadn't let it go in the end Will we ever be happy again? It's useless, everything is useless, even if they say it's useless Thoughts keep growing in my head"

"Would it have been better if I did better? Would you have laughed if I did the opposite? It's useless, everything is useless, even though I know everything Regret keeps growing in my heart"

"In the еnd, I'm left alone at this night Our memoriеs become stars Put it over your head It is pouring endlessly The beautiful times we had together"

He noticed that your breathing was returning to normal.

"The moments sparkle come into me It shines in my heart today, I'm going to show you I can't forget you the way you are"

Once you can form coherent sentences, you tell him, "There are so many things that make up for what you lack."

A warmth erupts in his chest, and though he's not ready to trust anyone or anything again, he feels akay for the first time in a long time.

He doesn't feel alone.

He smiles at you for the first time in forever, and for the first time in a long time, he puts his arms around you, because his heart wasn't the only one that sat bare in front of you. You finally gave him yours in return.

~

[flightlessdevotee]

I've been thinking about vampires lately

[baby-yongbok]

Think I'm gonna post some Heavy Angst Fake Texts for Seungmin tonight.

If you aren't comfortable with it, please, I'm begging you, do not consume the content. It doesn't have a sad ending, but it's a heavy theme, so please just read with caution, please.

[sungielvr]

Nervous Young Inhumans

2장

Warning - smoking, sh, mention of disordered eating habits, suggestive with jisung if you squint hard enough,

w.c. 1.2K

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

When Seoyoon woke again she found herself waking up a little less annoyed that she had woken up again. She put on her regular baggy clothes because one thing that Seoyoon hated most was her body. She despised seeing her figure, so she decided to wear the baggiest clothing she could find.

Once she was done getting dressed and doing her makeup she put her wax pen in her pocket and headed out to the campus café where she would meet up with Jisung and Felix. When she arrived she looked around for either boy and found herself to be the first one there. She took a seat at the farthest table from the entrance.

Ten minutes later came Jisung and a boy just as cute trailing slightly behind him holding his hand. Felix spotted Seoyoon first and pointed her out to Jisung. Seoyoon was surprised when she stood up to bow that the chubby cheeked boy had pulled her into a hug.

"Hey Seoyoonie!" Jisung was being very loud and it made Seoyoon cave in on herself a little from the sudden noise. Felix noticed and slightly nudged the boy,

"Sungie, inside voices," Felix soft yet deep voice spoke out. He turned to Seoyoon with a smile greeting her kindly.

"I already ordered if that's okay and I payed so you don't have to worry about that!" The boys were shocked.

"what! Seoyoonieeee I wanted to be the one to pay," Jisung was pouting now and it made Seoyoon's face turn up in a smile as she gazed at the boy who was obviously feeling very comfortable with her at the moment. Just as she was about to talk back the food and drinks came. Felix noticed that Seoyoon hadn't ordered herself any food, just an iced latte.

"Aren't you hungry, why didn't you get yourself a muffin too?" Felix asked curiously. Seoyoon opened her mouth a bit she wasn't expecting either of them to notice so she sat there with her mouth slightly open before she quickly came up with an excuse,

"Oh I ate a pancake before coming... sorry," She laughed a bit even though her heart was pounding like crazy. Felix knew it was a lie, he wasn't as innocent as he looked, but he knew it wouldn't be appropriate to point out her lie. So he just smiled and nodded at her.

After that little stump in the road everything else went smoothly, so smoothly in fact Felix and Seoyoon exchanged media so they could keep talking.

"Maybe we should make a group chat or even we can add Seoyoon to the gc with all the boys," Jisung was rambling about "the boys" now.

"Wait who?" Seoyoon asked with a slightly tilted head,

"Our other...friends we all live together and are super close you'll get to meet them too!" Jisung explained with a loving look in his eye.

They stayed and chatted until it was time for class to start for Jisung and Seoyoon.

During lunch, Soyeon made her way to the school outside the cafeteria where she took her place at an empty table. She pulled out her wax pen and a book. She decided this was the best time to get high and enjoy her book.

She had just taken her first hit and before she could take another, a big group of guys walked up to her.

"YOONIE," Jisung had screamed and she had once again caved in on herself from the loud noise.

"Hello Jisung, Felix, and friends," Seoyoon was getting anxious. She was never one for big crowds and although 8 people didn't seem like a lot for her it was.

"These are the guys i was telling you about my..friends! is it okay if we sit with you for lunch?" Jisung asked so cutely, who could say no to his face.

"Yeah of course," Seoyoon said with a kind smile even though her heart was ready to leap out of her chest with anxiety.

"Let me introduce everyone, this is Chan, Hyunjin, Seungmin, Minho, Changbin, Jeongin, and of course you already know Jisung" Listed off Felix. Everyone waved and bowed politely before sitting down.

"I'm Seoyoon.." She said lowly not making eye contact with anyone instead keeping her eyes on the table below. She took a hit of her pen in hopes of calming herself down and when she looked up she was met with all eight pairs of eyes watching her curiously. It made her grip her pen even harder.

"Um.. want a hit?" Everyone declined except for Jisung. He reached forward with his whole body and waited for Seoyoon to hold down the button for him to take a hit. It was oddly intimate and oddly arousing for Seoyoon to see Jisung looking up at her with his doe eyes. She cleared her throat and released that button watching him close his eyes while he exhaled the smoke.

Jisung opened his eyes and grinned,

Jisung opened his eyes and grinned, "That was an indirect kiss, Seoyoonie. We just kissed," He giggled like a little schoolgirl, watching her take the pen back to her lips. She blushed and looked around at the guys to see their reaction. They were all either chuckling or had a humorous smile.

Seoyoon was now high out of her mind, her book long forgotten. Instead, she was now basically leaning up against Felix and laughing at something Minho had told her. Everything was going great. Until it wasn't. 

"Wait Seoyoon, how come you don't have any lunch? You haven't eaten all day! Here, have the other half of my sandwich. Hyunjin hyung made it," Jisung said innocently. Seoyoon gulped and racked her brain to think.

"I'm fine, I ate something during class you eat your sandwich," Seoyoon was now sweating thinking about how many calories were in that sandwich and how eating that would have broken her 4 day fast.

"Are you sure Yoonie? I don't mind sharing really!" Jisung was just trying to be nice but Seoyoon was getting annoyed that she couldn't come up with so many excuses.

"I'm serious, Jisung I'm fine. Just drop it," Seoyoon said coldly. The serious look on her face was enough for Jisung to lose eye contact and go back to eating his sandwich.

"I have a class now, I'll talk to everyone later. It was nice meeting you all. I hope we can become friends," She bowed then walked off to her next class.

Seoyoon was now officially done with her classes. She went on a walk to burn off the calories from the coffee she had this morning. She walked for about three miles before she spotted a bench to rest at. While sitting at the bench she felt her phone ding a few times.

sung has added you to a group chat

When Seoyoon came home she realized just how lonely she was. She couldn't manage to keep one person in her life and here Jisung managed to have seven different people to share love with. She envied them for having each other to lean on. She hated that she felt like a third wheel already, she felt like a second option and their friendship just began.

With those negative thoughts in mind, she mindlessly went to her room and did what she knew how to. She cut. She cut until she felt like all her brain could process was the pain. She couldn't stand the isolating thoughts anymore; she needed an escape. This was Park Seoyoon's desperate way out, even if it only brought temporary relief.

prev/next

[skzstayhere]

As an avid fanfiction reader, can I say that the unprotected smut warning where the female is implied to be on birth control or (the pill) is worse than staright out unprotected intercourse?

Do yall even know how terrible birth control pills can be and how much the body has to go through to accomodate to them?

[jinnie-ret]

cover me

poly!stray kids x fem reader

genre: angst, fluff at the end

content warnings: stress from uni/work

word count: 1.5k

summary: money, work, school. it was only a matter of time before the boys would see her crumble, and be there to pick up the pieces

requested: @straykidsnerd255

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Every time she tried to take one step forward, something would ultimately knock her back twice as far. Finally having a very generously paid job as an intern at a big company was serving her well, yet with the return of going back to university, finding a work-school balance was becoming difficult.

Truly, that was the hardest thing. She had great people around her, those being her uni friends or her loving boyfriends, the renowned Kpop band, Stray Kids. The way they cared for her and each other with such strong morals and support meant that surely it would be easy to confide in them.

Not always, especially in this case.

Other times she would be thankful for the fact that her partners all had a longer practice at the company, not to their own detriment of course, but because it gave her more time to get herself together and paint on a calm picture of 'I'm definitely not struggling right now and on the brink of my second breakdown of the day'.

However, this time she really needed them. The stress had amounted to such a level that she felt it right through to her bones, and so she found herself crying over the smallest things, which in turn let out the release of her biggest pain.

"Stupid shoes, why aren't they organised, there's too many," she sniffled, sat on her knees by the front door as she began to cry at shoes. Yes, shoes. Her boyfriends' shoes to be specific. She would have thought at least Seungmin would have berated the others for their lack of organisation at this point but even his were out of place.

"They didn't even match them back up," she cried, and more tears spilled out, "oh, why am I even crying right now?"

Sometimes being in such a state meant that it was hard to understand your own feelings, your thoughts far too occupied with the wants of other people to be able to manage the basic needs of your own.

Eventually she gave up on the shoes and wiped her tears, walking slowly over to the sofa and letting her body fall into it with a soft thump. She tugged a soft velvety blanket over herself, one that Felix probably picked out due to it's plush exterior, and instinctively cocooned herself. Her heart felt heavy, her eyes hot and burning as the tears kept falling. All it took was a reminder on her phone for a work assignment, and a uni assignment, to trigger a sob to catch her throat.

"Too much," she sobbed to herself, trying to muffle the sounds even though there was no one else to hear them, "it's too much."

She was wrong. Not about her feelings, gosh, no, but the fact that she thought she was alone.

"Hey, hey, what's going on?" Hyunjin was crouched down right in front of her trembling form, almost hidden if it wasn't for the blanketed lump that had been shaking so much it couldn't have been natural.

His hand brushed her hair back and his thumb rubbed under her eyes, catching the tears that seemed to keep appearing. Hyunjin watched on in deep concern, just like their other boyfriends did the more they realised something was wrong.

"What? When, when did you get back?" she gulped down her sobs, or attempted to, even though her words still came out messily. She sat up, the blanket falling off her shoulders and resting around her hips.

"Don't worry about that, love. Just tell us what's going on, yeah? What's wrong?" Chan held her against him immediately, taking a seat ñext to her. The only time his arm that was wrapped around her moved away, was to let Jeongin lift the blanket back up to keep her warm.

"I don't know," she sniffed indignantly, coughing lightly through her cries when she tried to clear her throat. Her arm pressed against the lower half of her face.

"You're getting yourself in a state now, come on, move your arm, you know you don't have to hold back in front of us," Seungmin sighed sadly, seeing his girlfriend so stressed. He pulled her arm towards her lap which he was sat in front of, holding her hand with one of his own and the other rubbing her knee.

"Thanks," she said sarcastically at first, until hearing the rest of what he had to say and tilting her head up to the ceiling to blink away the rest of her tears.

Chan pressed a kiss against her forehead, and everyone was around her to offer comfort, Felix and Changbin in particular wanting to jump out of their seats on the adjacent sofa to take all the pain away.

"What's got you to upset, jagi?" Jisung pouted, his own eyes glistening as he saw how upset you were.

"It's stupid, really," she began, rubbing at her eyes roughly, Hyunjin subsequently tutting at her and pulling her other hand away that Seungmin wasn't occupying.

"We're not doing that, jagi," Minho shook his head, brows furrowed, looking down at the floor with his hands folded together, "if it's upset you, it's not stupid."

"Exactly, please just tell us, you know we just want to help, that's all," Felix quickly pitched in, face crumpled sadly much like your own.

"There's just too much going on really. You know? Like, oh-" she had to cut herself off when her voice cracked with emotion again.

"You're ok, take your time," Jeongin gave a small smile and nod to reassure her.

"We're listening, baby," Changbin's raspy voice rung out.

"I've got a good job right? Like, it pays so well, but now with going back to uni it's just like I don't have time for anything. I-i'm having to squeeze in hours where I don't have them because my boss won't help me work around my timetable," she explained, the clashing of two parts of her life and time issues being what was clearly causing so much turmoil.

"I'm sorry, darling," Chan tugged her closer to him, a frown on his face.

"Don't be sorry, not your fault, is it? I'm just so tired, I'm exhausted," she admitted, pressing her lips together and taking a deep breath in order to not cry again.

"We'll help you figure this out, ok?" Hyunjin leant his head against her shoulder.

"Ok, ok," she let out a deep breath and nodded.

"I think you need to focus on uni, love. If work can't meet you in the middle then, it's hard," Seungmin trailed off, not wanting to fully leave her in the dark but not wanting to be too blunt.

"What do you think, jagi?" Jisung wondered, curled up against Minho, one leg hanging over the older's lap.

"I don't know. I don't even wanna make any decisions right now," she shook her head tiredly, blinking a couple times.

"That's understandable, baby, how about we just relax for now, ok?" Changbin suggested.

"And if anything else is upsetting you, please tell us," Chan huffed with a knowing smile.

"Ok, promise," she grinned.

₊˚⊹♡

She must have fallen asleep without realising, as she found herself waking up to Jeongin and Felix giggling over something on the latter's phone.

"What's going on?" she murmured tiredly, pressing her face deeper into... Jisung's chest, it took one whiff of his cologne to be able to tell it was him.

"Had a good sleep then, hmm?" Minho poked her forehead, slow blinking at her.

"Mm, yeah," she nodded, "Lixie, Innie, what's funny?"

The two froze, looking at her a bit guiltily.

"Well, umm, you know we have that camera in the hallway, just in case for security, like if someone broke in or-" Jeongin began to ramble awkwardly,

"I know, yeah," she nods, adjusting her head against Jisung's chest as he loosely keeps an arm around her, securing her to him.

"We're actually sorry for laughing, babe, it's just... You were crying over our shoes earlier?" Felix can't even keep eye contact as he explains.

Jisung stifles a laugh and so she slaps his chest playfully through her mild embarrassment, making him yell out dramatically.

"What's Sungie done now?" Hyunjin asks as he flops onto the sofa, entering the room again after leaving Chan, Seungmin and Changbin to managing the cooking.

"It's more about what our jagi did," Minho teases, looking at her with a smug grin.

"Guys, I was stressed, leave me aloneeee," she huffed, but it didn't stop the light laughter that filled the room knowing that she wasn't completely upset about it.

"Sorry, but..." Jeongin chuckles again, "the way you throw the shoes away from you is so funny!"

"What did our shoes do to you?!" Felix laughed again as he watched the video on replay.

"They smelt bad," she grinned happily, teasing them back as revenge, "specifically Ji's."

"Yah!"

Jisung gave her a noogie, keeping her trapped in his arms. He couldn't let her discredit him like that.

"Sorry! Sorry! Hahaha!"

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listeners: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @kpopmenace143 @haodore @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @his-angell @2minstan @skzoologist @lovingchan @atinyniki @writingforstraykids @minholing @lilmisssona @astraysimp @lixie-phoria @theo4eve @linoalwaysknows @royal-shinigami @jolly04 @turtledove824 @yangbbokari @thisrandomgoofy15 @lieslab @hannamoon143 @arumlilyeclipse

[daydreams-after-dark]

Free Use Jail Cell, Part 2

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 (final) | extra: Police Reports | extra: dinner date with Minho

Police Officer Skz ot8 x female reader

Premise: you're arrested and held for 24 hours by 8 police officers at the local police station / reader has her fantasy play out.

Word Count: 3k (part 2)

Chapter Summary: You're interrogated by 2min.

a/n: This fic will be in multiple parts because I get too impatient not to share what I’ve written so far. There will be two, possibly three installments (tag list is open).

I refer to the officers as “Officer Hyunjin”, “Officer Minho” etc just to make it quick to identify the characters. 

The whole premise is planned and explained in the fic. The story is purely fantasy, but please be mindful of content warnings, as it has potentially triggering content. I want you to be safe here on my blog.

CW: dom 2min, sex toys (various: anal and vaginal), stretch kink, harness restraints, paddles, spanking, nipple clamps, double pen same hole (toy and penis) double pen two holes (oral and vaginal), anal penetration, everything is unprotected, degradation, face slap, hair tugging, shoe on face (really quick), collar and leash, cum eating, creampie, safeguards are in place to stop everything if reader wants/needs to. Aftercare.

🚨🚨🚨🚨

Chief Chan leads you to the interrogation room himself. "Now I don't want to find out you've been insolent, you hear me? Although I know Officer's Seungmin and Detective Minho are more than capable of handling you. Go." he pushes you into the empty room, closing the door behind you and locking it.

You gulp and slowly take in the space around you. It's not a modern interrogation room. It looks like a morgue. The brick walls are cold and gray, the concrete under your bare feet is filthy. You're not sure what the dark stains that are splattered around the place are either, and you try not to think the worst. This isn't real. You remind yourself.

In the center of the room is a stainless steel table. Beside it a stainless steel trolley, with what appears to be dildos, straps, and various other paraphernalia, and - oh fuck - a paddle hanging from a hook on the side. The entire room is illuminated, barely, by a single naked globe hanging from the concrete ceiling above.

There are no chairs, nowhere for questioning to occur, but you have a sneaking suspicion that you'll be on that cold, hard slab of a table very soon.

You hear the door unlock and your heart pounds loudly. Fuck. This is it. You take a deep, grounding breath as you watch Officer Seungmin and Detective Minho enter the room.

"On your knees, pup." Seungmin spits, immediately shoving you to the ground and pushing the sole of his combat boot into your cheek. Your face presses against the disgusting concrete. He doesn't push harder than he needs to, but just the act itself makes you feel so small, helpless and filthy.

You sense the Detective walk over to the trolley, then back towards you, leaning over you and placing a leather collar and leash around your neck. Suengmin removes his boot, and Minho tugs you up until you're on your knees.

"Look at this pathetic little bitch." Minho leans over you and pushes your hair out of your face. "Someone has been a very bad little girl." He scolds. "And we're going to find out exactly what you're keeping from us." He smirks evilly.

"Up." Suengmin barks, from behind you, taking the leash from Minho and yanking on it until you're standing in front of him. He presses his body against your back, breathing in your ear menacingly, making you shudder. He snakes a hand up underneath the hem of your oversized shirt, the only thing you're wearing, and slides his fingers through your folds. "This is gonna be so much fun." he chuckles low. "Up on the table." he slaps you hard on the ass.

The table is barely big enough to fit you, and you realize it's designed so two people can access you easily from either end. You're instructed to kneel on all fours, with your feet almost hanging off one end, and your head extending precariously over the other end, so you get another view of the filthy floor.

Minho picks up a pair of metal scissors and your eyes widen as he cuts your clothing and rips it off you so you are naked and bare for them. Then you’re adorned with a ball gag with attached nipple clamps.

"We can't have you being a brat. We don't need you to say a word for us to get what we want from you." Seungmin says, as he secures the clamps tightly to your nipples. The sensation of your nipples being pinched sends a spark of arousal to your cunt and you immediately feel yourself becoming moist.

"Here. Keep this in your hand." Minho places a small device in your palm. "Press this button and everything stops immediately. You understand?" he says quietly looking into your eyes. You nod. Once he's certain you understand, he’s back in character.

The two men take their time circling you, taking you in, deciding how they are going to proceed. They look dominating, cold, mean. They start to touch you, stroke your body, your back, the backs of your thighs. All with villainous smirks plastered on their beautiful faces.

“Let’s start with a punishment.” Minho decides, grabbing the paddle.

Your eyes widen and you try to swallow, but it’s so hard with the ball gag in your mouth, and you brace yourself as he settles behind you. The impact of the paddle takes you by surprise, making you cry out a muffled sob. Again, Minho brings the paddle to your fleshy ass cheek with a loud slap. You drop your head and squeeze your eyes closed. It fucking stings, but at the same time your cunt throbs. How can this hurt so much yet feel so arousing?

Minho soothes the skin with the palm of his hand before delivering another hit. You grip onto the edge of the steel table with your free hand, while trying to stabilize yourself with the hand that’s holding your safety device. 

Another round of paddling ensues, and you’ve lost count of how many you’ve taken. Your ass feels red raw, and the tears are running freely down your face. You feel pathetic, useless, helpless. No one’s ever been able to make you feel this way before. You’ve finally found what you’ve been looking for.

“Enough.” Seungmin raises his hand signaling for Minho to stop. “Let me inspect.” he moves behind you to marvel at his partner’s work. “Fuck. Look how red she is.” He runs his palm over your red cheek and you wince. “Shh… Now now.” Suengmin purrs, but there is absolutely no hint of concern in his tone. “We haven’t even gotten started. That was just punishment for making our cocks so hard.”

You drop onto your elbows, already exhausted from “just the punishment”, and sob. Seungmin crouches in front of you and lifts your head so you’re looking directly into his cold eyes. “Hey, Pup.” He slaps your cheek, hard. The sting makes you feel more alert. “Minho’s going to do his probing now.” He raises an eyebrow. “And you’re going to be an obedient little pup and take. Every. Single. Inch.”

Your stomach drops, and you feel your juices leak from your cunt. The anticipation, the fear, the excitement of what is unfolding has your heart racing. 

Suengmin stands back up and leans against the wall to watch Minho, whom you can hear rustling around at the trolley. You hear the sound of a bottle opening and closing. Then with one hand holding your hip steady, he presses a solid, cold, lubed object against your vaginal entrance. 

“It’s just a dildo. Nothing to be scared of. Deep breath through your nose.” he commands and pushes the dildo into your cunt. The stretch feels good and you wonder why on earth you were fearful. It feels regular sized. He fucks you with it for a few minutes, until your hips are rocking back and you’re arching your back in a such away it makes their cocks throb. 

“Seungmin, come help hold her steady.” He instructs his partner, and he is at your side helping hold your hips still. You whine in protest around the gag, and then you feel Minho press the dildo in further. Your eyes almost pop out of your head and your whole body tenses, when you're abruptly spread twice as wide. You feel like you’re being ripped in two as you realize the dildo has a bulbous base. The tip now presses hard into your cervix as your opening is being stretched obscenely wide. You’re so full. You feel so full. 

“Suengmin, fuck look at how much she stretches. She’s gonna look good when two cocks are inside that slutty little cunt.” Minho declares.

“Fucking slut.” Seungmin says in a disgusted tone.

“She has to take more.” Minho says flatly, reaching for something from the trolley, and then another lubed object presses against your ass. You try to squirm to no avail, and cry out when a hand slaps you on your sore, red cheek. “Sluts have to behave themselves or they will regret it.” Suengmin warns.

You pause and try to relax as Minho pushes the device past the tight ring of muscle. “I don’t know why you’re squirming? This is just to prep you. You’re gonna have to take a much bigger one shortly.” he advises.

He’s right. After torturing your ass with increasingly bigger devices, he is ready to insert the “big” one. It’s thick and it feels endless, reaching places no one, or thing, has ever reached before. You can hardly hold yourself up, and you’re on the verge of what you can tell will be an earth shattering orgasm. You are scared. You’re not allowed to come without permission, and part of you thinks that maybe you won’t be given permission at all. Although, you are sure that they will rip at least one from you before this interrogation is over. All so they’ll have a reason to punish you further.

Minho, silently works on fucking your ass and cunt with the two oversized devices until you are a fucking mess. You can’t keep it contained any longer and a brutally intense orgasm hits you so hard you shake uncontrollably and almost slip entirely off the table.

“Fucking whore!” Growled Seungmin. “Who told you you could come?” he came around to the front and tugged your head up by your hair. “You just want us to punish you more, don’t you? Well. That’s exactly what you’re gonna get." He lets go of your head abruptly, and removes your ball gag, resecuring it around your neck with your collar. You can finally breathe properly and you start to cry.

“No. No one said you can cry. We haven’t given you anything to cry about yet.” Snarls Seungmin.

The dildos are removed and you’re repositioned onto your back, your knees thankful for the relief. But this new position isn’t any more comfortable. The table, being so short in length, means your head hangs over the edge, whilst you have no option to fold your legs up because your ass comes to the other edge. Perfect for what is about to happen.

Your legs are strapped with leather restraints to keep legs bent and folded towards your chest and your wrists are cuffed and attached to ankle restraints. You’re essentially folded in half and spread open, with no way of moving, and for them to do whatever they please. The little alarm buzzer is placed in your hand for safekeeping.

You see Minho in your upside down vision, unbuckling his belt and releasing his cock. Your mouth waters at the memory of taking him down your throat just a few hours before, and you are more than pleased when he approaches you. “Open up, time to be fed again.” he holds your face steady as he slides his cock all the way into your throat. You can take him a lot easier in this position, and he uses it to his advantage, fucking your face rough and deep. He doesn’t care that you’re gagging, or that you can’t breathe when he pushes his entire cock in and stills. He pulls out, letting you fill your lungs, and then he’s back inside cutting the air off. 

You squeak when you feel something cold, slimy and flexible being squeezed into your pussy. Minho pulls out. “Wanna see what Seungmin’s doing?” He taunts. He supports your head as you lift yourself and look down at your pussy. Seungmin is holding what looks to be a silicone or rubber snake-like device. It’s about an inch and half in diameter and so fucking long. Maybe three feet long? Your eyes widen. “Don’t be so alarmed. He’s not gonna stuff the entire thing inside you.” sneers Minho. “Now, back to being a cockslut.” he drops your head back down and resumes fucking your face.

All you’re imagining though, is Seungmin pushing more and more of that - was it a snake? A hose? Fuck, is it even a sex toy or is it some random thing from the hardware store? - into your cunt.

“Yup, that’s as far as it's gonna go.” Sighs Seungmin. It’s deep, but not filling you out too much, not like that monstrous dildo from earlier. Until you feel the tip of his cock pushing in alongside it. Minho, as if pre-empting your protests, holds you by your neck keeping you steady and deliberately fucks you hard and fast. “You’re gonna take it, kitten. Everything.” he hisses. 

You can’t cry. You can’t scream. You can only take what they are giving you. Your throat hurts, but Minho doesn’t seem like he’s going to tire anytime soon. 

Once Seungmin is fully inside you, he starts to thrust, building up the pace quickly. You’re so wet and stretched already that it doesn’t take long for your walls to adjust to him. The men fuck both ends of your body, using you like a fleshlight. Growling, grunting, making sounds of approval as you simply lay there and take it.

“I wanna fucking come in her mouth.” states Seungmin. 

They pull out of you simultaneously, leaving you gasping and gaping. You’re so empty, even with that fucking snake situation still in your cunt.

Your mouth is filled first, with Seungmin sinking into you. You can taste your juices coating his cock, mixed with lube. Like earlier in the cell, Seungmin is rougher, more erratic with his thrusts than Minho, and you gag much more as he fucks you. He runs his hands along your body then squeezes both your breasts hard. You arch off the table as he tugs on the nipple clamps. You moan around Seungmin, who must not have been expecting it, and he cums down your throat with a “how dare you, you fucking slut.”

You’re secretly satisfied as you swallow him down. “You still need your mouth stuffed. I don’t want to hear you and your pathetic little whines.” he finds the other end of his ‘snake-friend’, and starts to shove it into your mouth. He pulls some sort of extension out from the table, a headrest, so you don’t have to keep dangling your neck. How thoughtful.

Minho lubes himself up and presses himself to your anus, pushing in the entire way. He fills you so good. He pulls out halfway and thrusts back in, and it’s too much. You come again. You know they see you quivering, and they’re not happy. 

“Just keep fucking her, Minho. Might as well just force her to come over and over at this point. Until she begs us to stop. Oh wait. Her mouth’s full, she won’t be able to. Shame.” The Officer laughs.

Minho doubles down, on a mission to rip as many orgasms out of you as he can, overstimulating you in the process. How much can you take before you need to hit your safety alarm? You’re determined not to. You want to take everything. Minho grasps the snake dildo and tries to jam more of it into you, but it won’t fit, and you cry out.

“Fuck, I’m hard again. Haven’t you even blown yet?” Seungmin looks to Minho in disbelief. 

“Course I fucking have, but I’m not done, bitch feels too fucking good. Gotta fuck my cum deep into her, y’know.” he grunts. He reaches out to grab yet another device, this time a small vibrator and presses it onto your clit. “Fucking come, kitten.” He growls.

Your eyes roll into the back of your head and you convulse as you come again. Minho doesn’t stop, he continues to fuck into your ass, still hard as stone, turning you into a sobbing, overstimulated wreck.

“Again.” he pushes the vibrator harder against you with one hand and attempts to fuck you with the snake dildo, all whilst not missing a beat with his thrusts.

Where the fuck Seungmin gone you had no idea. Until you feel him tightening your nipple clamps and then pulling out the snake and replacing it with his cock.

“The detective said ‘come again’, pup.” He thrusts into your mouth and fills you with his cum again. He pulls out and wipes some on your cheek. 

One final time, you come, trembling on the table, the straps and restraints dig into your skin as you fight against your restraints. You can’t possibly take any more. They seem to know too.

Minho pulls out, and you wonder if he even came a second time. You manage a glance at his cock and it looks painfully hard, and you’re not sure why he just didn’t use you until he came again.

He pushes your cheeks wide, spreading your holes and sighs when you feel cum dribble out. He slips an anal plug in to keep the rest inside you.

The straps, restraints, chains, clamps are all removed from you carefully and you’re cleaned with warm, wet towels from a cabinet under the table.

Seungmin applies cream to soothe where you were spanked, and helps you put on a fresh oversized button down shirt, and Minho carries you bridal-style back to your cell. You nuzzle your head against him and close your eyes. You’re absolutely exhausted. He enters your cell and places you down on the mattress, pulling a blanket over you. Such a contrast to the treatment just before.

“Detective?” You whisper, looking up at him. “You didn’t get to finish.” you say in a small voice.

He shrugs. “That back there wasn’t about me.” He half smiles. “It was about satisfying you.” 

“But what if finishing you off would satisfy me even more?” You ask.

“You need your rest.” He grunts, ignoring your advances, tucking the blanket around your chin.

“It’ll help me sleep.” You plead.

“Fuck!” He sighs and looks up to the ceiling. “Where do you want my cock then, kitten?”

“In my cunt.” You purr.

He swallows hard. “Fine.” he concedes. “But -  I come inside, and you gotta keep it safe in your tight little pussy. Got it?”

You nod fervently, lifting the blanket that he’d just tucked you snugly in, and let him slide on top of you. He removes his shirt and undoes his pants with nimble fingers and frees his cock, then grips your thigh, pushing it wide and grinding against your sore core.

“Will you kiss me, detective?” You gaze up at him. 

“I don’t do kissing on the mouth.” He says flatly.

He sees you pout around that.

“I can kiss your neck. If that’s what you want.”

“Please.” you wrap your hands about his neck as he hovers over you, peppering kisses to your neck, and sucking the skin while he fucks you slow, but extra hard. You feel so full with the anal plug still in your ass. “You’re so tight, bet you’re tender? Am I hurting you?” He whispers. 

“Feels good.” you mewl. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum real soon. Can I fuck you evenharder?” He chokes.

“Yes.” you sigh, letting him take what he needs from you.

“I’m coming…ngh…fuck.” he thrusts his hips three more times then you feel him empty himself inside you. “Keep it in there for me.” He plants a peck on your forehead and pulls out carefully.

You’re asleep before he even leaves the cell.

🚨🚨🚨🚨

↣↣ Next up: you’re taken in your sleep by Hyunjin and Han

@channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @3rachasdomesticbanana @palindrome969 @xxkissesforchanniexx @chuuchuu1224 @fun-fanfics @wolfennracha @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @armystay89 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @kyunchoni @justforreaders @melochacco @scenuniverse @oddracha @txa-r

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[lixie-phoria]

summer sun forever (stray kids comforting their 9th member!reader)

pairing : platonic stray kids x fem!9th member reader

requested : yes

warnings - mentions of blood, description of poor parenting (lmk if i've missed any!)

genre - angst to comfort

jeongin thought it was normal, the way you would sit alone during group discussions giving your input only when asked directly.

seungmin though it was a habit, the way you would immediately pinch yourself if you made a mistake.

felix thought it was out of good nature that you would constantly appreciate his sunshine-like personality and inability to be mad for longer than a few moments.

han thought it was adorable, the way you would cover your smile while laughing at one of his jokes, trying to hold back any laugh that was louder than a giggle.

hyunjin thought it was just your strive for perfection that you would spend hours more than the other boys trying to perfect your choreographies, scared to mess up.

changbin thought it was a personal preference, the way you'd always dress up in lose clothing, rejecting anything that was too fitting.

lee know thought it was impressive, the way you could recognize any member just from his footsteps approaching your room or the way you always left one ear uncovered when using headphones.

but chan knew. or he thought he did, at least. maybe it was brotherly instincts kicking in, but he knew these habits weren't healthy. far from it. it concerned him, but he didn't know how to approach you either.

his concerns were triggered for the first time when you dropped a glass at the dorms, sharp shards scattering everywhere. you didn't notice him rush to help you as he stopped dead in the doorway of the kitchen, watching you pick up the broken pieces with bare hands. he saw the way your hands were trembling and how a particularly tricky piece sliced right through your skin, blood oozing out. you didn't even flinch, sparing the cut a small glance before you went back to cleaning the floor. you didn't bother trying to disinfect it, opting to only run it under the tap and wiping it away with a few tissues. then you crumpled them up, making sure the members wouldn't notice the red on the paper and went about your day as usual. chan waited, patiently, expecting you to bring up the injury to anyone, but you didn't, so he thought maybe it was just a small cut. maybe it was just a small wound, after all.

you would tell them if you were really hurt, right?

the second time chan notices something wrong is when you hit your upper arm at the edge of the table during dinner. it had hurt, that much he knew from the way you yelped and rubbed the sore spot. he had laughed at your clumsiness with the others as you smiled sheepishly, ducking your head and running away to your room to do who knows what. he thought he saw tears in your eyes, but you didn't mention the bruise again, so they all thought you were okay.

but chan's breaking point was when stays themselves noticed something was wrong. he was scrolling through instagram when a particular reel caught his attention. it was of their dance performance, and the fan had zoomed into your figure - specifically your upper arm - and the large reddish blue spot was so strikingly evident it took him three rewatches to make sure it was not an edit. how had any of them missed it? then another reel came up, and it was you wincing slightly as lee know jokingly shook your hand, the same one you had cut while cleaning the glass. and it's like the pieces immediately fall into place.

chan doesn't think twice. before he knows it he's out of his room and walking (more like storming) towards yours, and he doesn't bother knocking. but even then, you had been expecting him, because you're staring at the door with a small smile on your face.

"i heard you coming. is everything ok?"

it's the first time your keen observation skills concern him, but he doesn't answer, instead striding towards you and lifting your arm despite your complaints. when his eyes zero-in on the bruise that you had expertly been concealing, he sees red. he isn't sure why he's angry. it's not your fault. but he is mad, and he couldn't control it.

of course you could see it on his face, and it's like you go into auto pilot mode, snatching your arm back and immediately apologizing, making excuses that fly straight out of his ears. he tries to hold back, he really does, but he can't. and before he can stop, the damage is done.

"don't bother. you clearly don't trust us enough anymore."

in hindsight, that was probably the worst thing chan could have said to you. blaming you would only worsen things, but he's so confused and disappointed in himself. he didn't know what kept you on the edge so often, and it hurt him that you wouldn't open up.

and thus the apparent cold war began.

you weren't mad. no. far from that. you were terrified. you had disappointed chan, the one person who made you feel safe always. the one person you knew you could go to with anything. but you chose not to, and now maybe you never will be able to. and it was like you were a teenager again, crying yourself to sleep every night, cautious of every word you spoke, and jumping at the slightest raised voice.

chan wasn't mad either. he was confused. he was hurt, a little bit. and he regretted the words he had carelessly spat out. it clearly hadn't been the right approach and now it hurt him to see the way you would tense whenever he stepped into the room, not making eye-contact and apologizing profusely to everybody for the smallest mistakes.

he thought giving you space was the best option for now. but in hindsight, that was a terrible decision too. he didn't realize how angry he was coming off as. he didn't know that not just you but all the members thought he was giving you the silent treatment. and for you, that hit too close to home. literally.

"ynnie, do you want some more soup?"

felix is met with a timid yes as he happily pours you another serving. but even his bubbly smile couldn't diffuse the obvious tension in the atmosphere. the other 7 didn't know the details of what had happened. chan knew you would want to tell them yourself if you told them at all, but they knew it was bad. because now you barely smiled and chan always seemed tense.

"and salt?"

again, you only nod, reaching towards the jar he was offering, when it happens. all of a sudden. jeongin's arm brushes yours, and as his elbow pushes into your bruise, you yelp, the lid falling to the floor with a loud shattering sound.

the silence that follows immediately after is loud, and everyone notices the way you go completely still. unnaturally still, as though waiting for someone to yell at you. lee know recovers first, and as he bends down to pick up the fallen object, you flinch, and their hearts collectively shatter.

what was the matter with you lately?

before they know it, you're gulping the steaming hot soup down, hurriedly apologizing and making a bee line for your room. but this time, everyone can see the tears brimming your waterline.

nobody gets up, but nobody eats anymore either. the silence only intensifies until chan groans, burring his face in his hands.

"hey lix, you mind checking up on her? i don't think she's doing very well."

the blonde boy doesn't need to be told twice. he's making his way towards your room and when he enters, the floor slides from beneath him. you're curled up in your bed, trying to muffle your sobs that wrack through your body.

when you see him come in, your first instinct is to hide. to not show. but it's too late, because he's rushing towards you, embracing you in the warmest hug. its comforting, in a way you have never felt before, and that only spirals your break down further.

felix doesn't know what to do or say. he doesn't know what happened. he doesn't know what could make you feel better, but it's so incredibly heart breaking the way you curl up into yourself as though trying to reject any help that it brings tears into his own eyes.

it isn't long before the others come following, and when chan sees you it's like a part of him dies. you look so small, so hurt, so breakable. and deep down, he knows this could have been avoided if he'd thought twice before lashing out at you.

"yn."

his voice is soft, and when you notice him you're scrambling out of felix's grasp, and he almost thinks you're trying to get way from him. but then you're throwing yourself into his arms with apologies tumbling out along with your sobs. he tries to calm you down, running a hand through your hair, but you're inconsolable. they have never seen you cry like this before.

"calm down, angel. please. talk to me."

it's the first time chan has spoken to you in more than a week, and you hadn't realized how much you had missed it. how much his silence had been affecting you.

"please don't be mad at me." you whimper as chan guides you sit on your bed, the other 7 hovering around unsure of what to do but concern reflecting in each of their eyes.

"mad? i'm not mad, ynnie. i'm concerned."

his words come as a shock.

he's concerned?

"but i'm crying."

"that's exactly why i'm concerned."

"oh."

you've never heard these words before. you never thought you would. growing up, showing emotions was a big no. crying was almost a taboo. showing emotions was for the weak, as your parents would say. they didn't wish to raise a weak daughter. nobody ever showed you concern. it was either anger or silence.

you've run out of tears, but dry sobs still shake your body every few seconds as chan holds you closer, motioning for the rest to sit down.

"do you want to talk about it?"

you shake your head. no. you were bad at talking about your feelings. they didn't have to know. it's not that important.

"you have to open up at some point, yn."

"i don't want to burden you guys."

"burden us?"

even seungmin, who usually stays expressionless during conflicts, seems appalled.

"yn, your emotions are not a burden."

"that's not what mum used to say."

you didn't mean to say it out loud, but it slips from your mouth and they all seem to have heard it.

chan's grip on you tightens. none of them knew much about your family. you didn't like talking about it. now it was slowly coming to them exactly why this preference could be.

"you can trust us, you know? we want to be there for you."

"i do trust you."

"then why won't you tell us what's wrong."

"don't want to annoy you any further."

the guilt gnaws at chan as felix pulls you away from his grasp, snuggling you into his side.

"yn, i wasn't mad. i was trying to give you space."

"i thought you were ignoring me." and in a smaller voice you reluctantly add "like my parents used to. everytime they were mad."

even han is somewhat misty eyed as felix runs calming circles against your upper arm.

"we would never give you the silent treatment."

"yeah! we love you way too much for that."

"is that why you're so closed off?"

"changbin! you can't just ask her that."

you giggle tiredly, earning a small smile from chan.

"it's alright. i'm glad you asked binnie. i think i'm ready to tell you guys."

they're all attentively waiting, and you shift uncomfortably. you never thought you would have this conversation.

"growing up, my parents didn't encourage me to express myself very much. i wasn't allowed to make mistakes, and if i did, they would give me the silent treatment for days on end. i hated it."

your voice is so small and fragile it breaks their hearts a little more.

"i've gone weeks trying to get my mother to speak to me normally. to act like she cared. but she'd always be so cold, insistent on punishing me for every little thing."

"and-" your voice broke, making hyunjin join felix in smothering you with cuddles.

"take your time, yn."

you hum, closing your eyes to stop the fresh wave of tears.

"and when chan stopped talking to me, i felt terrible. i thought i disappointed him too."

there was no more place, but chan joins the tangle of you, felix, and hyunjin as well, rubbing a soothing hand on your back.

"i'm so sorry i made you feel that way ynnie. i had no idea."

"it's not your fault," you admit, leaning into his chest.

"are we good now?"

"i hope so."

chan lets out that breathy laugh of his which you've grown to love over the years.

"don't ever hide your feelings from us, ynnie. you're a part of us. we don't want to see you hurting."

felix bops your nose as you smile, and it's all so corny and sweet, but it's also exactly what you need.

"now can we please have a movie night?"

"yah! jeongin. give her some time."

"no no, i'd actually love that. please?"

they're all ready to do whatever you want. it warms your heart and you almost cry again. nobody ever did this for you. you learned to think you didn't deserve it.

but here these 8 boys were, scrambling around trying to a build you a pillow fort and searching the shelves for snacks, yelling at each other across the house.

and as you're sitting there, you think that this could be your favorite site. they could be your favorite people. this could be your favorite memory. this feeling of being at home could be your favorite forever.

©lixie-phoria, 2023 taglist : @foxinnie8 @hamburgers101 @starlostlaiba @jiisungllvr (send an ask to be added/removed)

[acidinduceddaydreams]

First Real Love with Skz

Skz x reader who was in a toxic relationship before them

Synopsis: In which you experience love, the real kind, for the first time.

Warnings: major tw for trauma in terms of mental and physical violence done by a significant other. Please don’t read if this triggers you.

a/n : this fic was my baby for a long time. Now it’s yours, please look after it. I pray it brings some comfort to you!🫶🏼

Chan:

He feels honored that you choose him to be apart of your life.

Doesn’t pry too much when you bring up your past. If you want to tell him you will and he’s content with that.

He finds you so incredibly intoxicating. He can’t believe that someone would ever treat you badly. He would fight tooth and nail to make sure you’re always happy.

Literally so in love with your more childlike/ whimsical view of the world now that you two are together. Your personality definitely changed for the better once you met him and realized that being safe should be a prerequisite in a relationship.

Minho:

Doesn’t ask about your past relationship much. Mostly relies on you telling him about it when you feel comfortable enough.

Absolutely at your service!!! If you’re having particularly unpleasant or difficult feelings or are in your own head he’s at your beck and call. Whether that’s cooking for you, feeding you (which you won’t admit you like) or even leaving you alone for a bit.

The babies (his cats) are by your side 24/7 to ground you and get you out of your head because “ they wouldn’t want their mom to be sad.”

Changbin:

Cannot fathom the idea of someone hurting you in any way whatsoever without wanting to beat them up.

Unlike Minho, Changbin will not leave you alone if you’re having a particularly bad day. He thinks you’re so precious so he will never leave your side even in a particularly bad situation.

Binnie gives the best cuddles!!!! I am 100% convinced. Cuddling is a must! It’s like free therapy. (He, himself is free therapy but wbk) his hugs and cuddles make you forget about what’s going on in your head bc binnie’s cuddles make everything better.

Hyunjin:

He’s appalled that someone could treat another human with disrespect and violence let alone you!

He’s your number one fan in everything you do. Celebrates your small wins just as grandly as the big ones. Oh you ate breakfast today. Suddenly your name and “I’m so proud of you” is all he knows how to say.

Paints with you. Yk when you put the canvases parallel to each other and paint something for the other person. Yeah you guys do that all the time as a grounding technique but also just as a way to show love to one another.

Jisung:

He’s so good at reading body language!!!!!! He is absolutely crushed when things like holding your hand or stretching his hand out to touch your cheek make you flinch, not because he’s mad or angry at you but rather at the person who ever dared to treat you this way.

Wdym personal space? Hannie’s never heard of it. He’s so good at getting you out of you head. He knows what triggers you and sometimes know when something will trigger you before you do.

He’s so attentive bc why wouldn’t he be when he has you to look after. This boy loves you so much and he shows it every day.

Felix:

Bakes for you!!!!!! Sometimes you two bake together but he usually does it in advance to you telling him you need a little extra love today.

So in love with you. Tries to show you the beauty that you are because you haven’t felt beautiful till you met him. “Oh baby you look even more gorgeous than you did yesterday, I didn’t even know that was possible.”

You remind him of sunshine and he reminds you of the sun. Clearly neither of you can exist without the other.

Seungmin:

He is super playful and witty naturally but he tones down the more mocking side for your particularly hard days. He loves you in ways that you didn’t know you could be loved.

On regular days though you two share a similar sense of humor. He loves that about you. Never lets it go too far though.

Absolutely a sucker for you. The boys tease him for being soft for you but he doesn’t care. You’re his baby and he doesn’t care who sees that.

Jeongin:

This boy is so whipped for you. He always listens to you even if what you have to say is something he has no idea about. It feels so amazing to have someone listen to you. To truly listen. He makes it look easy even though listening and not interrupting is quite hard.

He’s not a big fan of skinship but your hands are always within his and he loves it. He’s genuinely so feral for it but you don’t need to know that.

He’ll make sure to show you how someone treats someone they love every day. He’s so attentive and that makes going to him whether it’s with a problem or just to talk so easy because you know there’s no judgment from him.

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Mate: Chapter 18

Trigger Warnings: Violence, trauma, underage sex, coercion, childhood trauma, manipulation, grooming, implied non-consent, death, grief, magic, obsession, paranoia, abandonment, betrayal, forced breeding, torture, brainwashing, sacrilege, sacrifice, judgement, uncomfortable themes

The room was silent. No one uttered a word at the revelation. They were stunned into silence. Some of them even frowned, if not glared at the thought that Hyunjin was their omega's alpha. It made no sense. If Hyunjin was her alpha at some point it meant Hyunjin must have abused her too. He must have tormented her, assaulted her, abused her. There was no way he could justify it now, it was impossible. There were still so many questions. Why did Hyunjin not save her? Why did Hyunjin abandon her? Why did Hyunjin not confess to Chan at the beginning? Did he know that Y/N was Chan's mate? All of these questions were flying around the room silently. Some of them were accusations against Hyunjin. Most of which he did not want to answer nor did he feel he had to. Hyunjin had already explained his story once before to them so why should he reveal it again? They all knew why Chan had stolen Hyunjin, he was Chan's childhood best friend's half-brother that was given to Hongjoong because he was a bastard. Before he died he had begged Chan to find him and to save him. The older half-brother regretted every day what his mother did to Hyunjin. The younger alpha never deserved to be treated the way he was. It was never Hyunjin's fault his parents committed adultery.

Hyunjin was someone who didn't take it lightly when he wasn't trusted. It was an insult to him, but right now he didn't have much of a choice. Either way, he had to confess the truth and accept whether Chan would exile him or not, but Hyunjin was smarter. There was a way he could make Chan accept him and that was by threatening Chan with his omega. Chan would never let anyone take his mate away but Hyunjin couldn't abandon her now since she was back with him. No, she was Hyunjin's in more ways than one and Chan was about to find that out very quickly. Hyunjin could see it. The minute he revealed that it was him and not Wooyoung, Chan had pulled the omega into his arms. He feared the other alpha. If he let her sit there, Hyunjin would grab her and she would never be seen again. It made Hyunjin laugh to see the head alpha so worried. For someone who had such a high status in the werewolf community, he was actually quite vulnerable. Chan had an obvious weakness. Y/N. Without her Chan was nothing. He had the elders of the werewolf council but it was never enough. Chan was a stray who was kicked out of his pack for helping his uncle kill his older brother to be a more powerful alpha. Except that wasn't entirely true. Chan's uncle had coerced Chan as a young boy from the age of ten. He groomed Chan. Gave him everything he ever wanted. Mentored him. Helped him. Everything. It was also the reason why Chan could not stand to be seen as weak. He hated being dominated and he definitely hated being manipulated when he was out-casted by his pack. Still, Chan's older brother had died and Chan was blamed for it because Chan's uncle had to disappear right at the scene. There was no way of proving Chan was innocent so he left as a lone wolf and saved those who were exiled. He saved victims who were accused like Jisung, Minho, Hyunjin and Seungmin. The others chose Chan for his politics. Jeongin chose Chan because he trusted Minho and grew up with him. Felix and Changbin came from similar werewolf packs who left because they heard who Chan was.

Despite all that he has achieved, the need for a soul mate was the root of the problem that fueled Chan's early corruption. His uncle promised him a soul mate if he became an alpha. A soul mate so pure and virtuous. A soul mate who would breed for Chan and provide him with pups. A soul mate who would provide him with an apex. That was the sickest thing Chan learned as a boy of ten. He learned about breeding at such a young age. Even when it came to sex Chan learned it at the ripe age of fourteen with a female omega in his pack who was around the same age. He had to learn, that's what his uncle taught him. He needed to know how to please his omega. This was the reason Chan had such a bad obsession with finding his soul mate. He raided several packs trying to find her but all he did was cause more damage, and he became a threat to werewolf packs. He became a monster. It was only his best friend who could get the alpha to snap out of it. It was only him who could break it gently to his alpha that he was obsessing over something his abuser told him as a child. Minho was another wolf who knew some of the story and promised Chan's best friend he would protect the alpha from his uncle. Minho was the only wolf who had seen Chan break down at the sudden realisation there was no omega. Except his uncle never told a lie, because he found her and Chan would always protect her no matter what. Chan would fight to the death if he had to. He lost so much in life that all he wanted was one ounce of happiness and now that he got it, he wanted to consume it, with or without Hyunjin there.

So now Chan was left with a very easy choice. Banish him. Chan had already made up his mind and Hyunjin could read that, but Hyunjin wasn't going to walk away. Oh, he couldn't. Y/N was soul-bound to him. Her soul was linked to his. His soul was hers. Her soul was his. Hyunjin had used dark magic behind Hongjoong's back to keep her safe because he loved her. In spite of Hyunjin's actions towards her at the beginning, he loved his favourite little omega. His omega was the smartest omega he had ever met when she was his omega. His omega was the one who had found a way to block Hyunjin from her mind. She could even prevent him from feeling her. The reason was because of her perseverance and mental strength, but that wasn't how he fell in love with her. It was the fact she had annoyed him into liking her. Hyunjin was a strict alpha with her. Hyunjin was in charge of the omegas, Jongho, Yeosang and Y/N. To teach them, look after them, care for them. Hyunjin was even colder than he was now, his words were sharper, if not harsher. His defiant female omega had broken his ice-cold heart with her shameless attitude. Every time he made her stay with him as a punishment she would do something obnoxious. Steal his paintbrushes. Swap his books out. The worst she had ever done was swap one of his photographs with a naked one of her. Hyunjin was filled with rage that day and her shameless behaviour. He had never met a woman like her but there she was. It didn't help that Hyunjin was a massive prude back then. Still, Hyunjin learned to love her, which was why he wasn't going to let anything happen to her. He knew she wasn't Hongjoong or Ateez's soul mate so to protect her he bound her soul to his. Hongjoong learned Hyunjin was keeping a secret from him. He knew Hyunjin adored his omega more than anything so Hongjoong had him tortured. Hyunjin was beaten several times with wolfsbane and injected with mistletoe (a slow but deadly poison). Hyunjin was then dragged into a graveyard and was cursed with a dark aura that would be passed down through his bloodline if he did have children that was. The dark aura is the essence of evil that binds the werewolf to both life and death. The nature of their soul is used to feed lycans. Lycans were cursed werewolves who ate people, but there were very few left as most were killed. Hyunjin's soul was supposed to be damned and changed into a lycan but it never happened, much to Hongjoong's confusion. The main reason this never happened was due to the fact half of his soul was Y/N's. Y/N's half prevented the evil from being absorbed, however, the dark aura that was cursed upon him was also engrained into Y/N. She too had a dark aura inside of her, but she didn't know that.

Now that she was bound to him, Hyunjin couldn't leave her. Not ever. The only reason he abandoned her was because he was a selfish, angry coward. He wanted to use her to anger Hongjoong. He wanted her to breed Hongjoong's pups so they would be infected with the dark aura. That anger had eventually faded and then Hyunjin buried his head in the sand all those years as he waited for the pain of her death. He waited and waited and it never came. Which was why he reacted the way he did when he saw her. He was afraid of her reaction. He was afraid she would tell him she hated him and that she never loved him. He was afraid that she regretted binding their souls, but it never came. Y/N never knew who he was. To an extent he was relieved but deep down he was distraught. His little defiant omega was gone and was replaced with something Seonghwa had ruined. So now the story takes another dark turn. Something sinister is about to arise and now Hyunjin cannot leave Y/N. Chan cannot banish him, but that still leaves Chan and his pack of stray kids with a burning question. How the fuck did Hongjoong know Y/N was his mate? And what the fuck is coming for Stray kids.

Taglist for the iconic readers:

@galaxy4489 @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @leezanetheofficial @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @linocz @itzreetal987 @skzdreamer13 @reallychaoticwoo @liv1sworld @upsidedownchaire @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @skzdreamer13 @reallychaoticwoo @ihttinniee @kingdomofpentagon @pixie0627

[smellslikechahnspirit]

I also had a thought about Period sex. If you're open to that of course.

Maybe where the readers period hurts so bad, and he offers to help by having sex bc he read that orgasms help the cramps?

Maybe with Changbin or Seungmin, but really any member you want :)

Totally cool if ur not comfortable with this tho

I mean, if you really want one of those members, I could still do it. But for some reason, I had a feeling that Seungmin would not be into it at all, and Changbin would just be a baby about it (my opinion 🫣), but I mean never say never, I guess. I just felt more comfortable writing it for Channie 🙏

Christopher 🕸🤍

Fake text scenario: Intimate on your period

🤍 : fluff, soft, still might contain swearing

🕸 : MIGHT CONTAIN SOME adult themes, emotional, maybe trigger warning

...Masterlist...

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

© 2022-2024, smellslikechahnspirit • No posting on other sites or platforms, rewrites, or translations

[seungvocado]

How to comfort a sad puppy.

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Pairing: Seungmin x Reader

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Content/Trigger warning: Soft! Seungmin, kinda subby Seungmin, fem! reader, reader is older than Seungmin, Seungmin calls reader noona, mentions of couple fighting/disagreements, Seungmin cries (a little), p in v sex (unprotected), creampie, overstimulation, multiple rounds, multiple orgasms. [Let me know if I miss out any]

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Sypnosis: Seungmin and his noona had a big fight which led to her leaving their shared home to cool off. Unable to reach her, even after a few days, Seungmin starts to think that his noona is leaving him and regrets being such a menace to his noona...

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — 18+ work! MDNI! Ageless/blank blogs will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog.

Seungmin lay curled up on the bed, tears streaming down his face as he cried himself to sleep for yet another night. The fight with his noona had left him shattered, and her absence was a constant ache in his heart. He had tried reaching out to her, but she hadn't responded, leaving him feeling even more desperate and alone.

As he drifted into a restless sleep, noises from the living room jolted him awake. The sound of the main door opening made his heart race, and fresh tears flowed down his cheeks. He knew it was her—his noona—coming back. But he was too exhausted, too emotionally drained, to get out of bed. His mind swirled with turmoil and fear. Was she back to officially break things off?

The door to their once-shared room creaked open, and she stepped inside. Seeing Seungmin curled up on the bed, his shoulders shivering slightly as he cried, her heart broke. Both of them were at fault for the fight, but it was clear that Seungmin was suffering deeply. Slowly, she approached him, her own heart aching with guilt and love. She sat down on the edge of the bed and gently touched his shoulder. "Seungmin, I'm here. Please, don’t cry," she said softly, brushing his hair back from his forehead.

Seungmin’s eyes opened, red and swollen from crying, and he turned to look at her, his expression a mix of relief and anguish. "Noona, I thought you’d left me for good," he whispered, his voice trembling.

Her heart broke at his words. She leaned in, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close. He buried his face in her shoulder, his sobs intensifying as he clung to her.

"I’m so sorry, Seungmin. I never meant to hurt you. I came back to make things right," she whispered, holding him tightly, gently stroking his hair and whispering soothing words. Gradually, his sobs began to subside, though tears continued to trickle down his cheeks. She kissed each tear away, her own heart aching with the need to comfort him. "I love you, Seungmin. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through this together."

After what felt like hours, Seungmin's tears finally stopped. He looked up at her, his eyes red and his cheeks puffy from crying. “Noona…” Seungmin trailed and held onto her even tighter.

Despite his distressed state, she couldn’t help but think how adorable he looked. Overwhelmed by her feelings, she leaned down and kissed him softly. Seungmin hurriedly and desperately returned the kiss, his need for her evident in every touch. She whispered loving words between kisses, telling him how much he meant to her, how she couldn't imagine life without him.

"I love you… I’m so sorry… you’re everything to me…" she murmured between kisses. Seungmin was totally lost in the kiss, his hands gripping her tightly as if afraid she might disappear again. When she pulled back slightly, he whined softly, his need for her almost palpable. "Noona, please… don’t stop. I need you… make love to me please," he pleaded, his voice breaking.

Her heart swelled with love and desire. She gently pushed him back onto the bed, her hands caressing his face. "I’ll take care of you, Seungmin. I love you so much," she whispered before kissing him deeply, her hands roaming his body, reassuring him with every touch. She took her time, wanting to show him just how much he meant to her. As she slid down to remove his clothes, Seungmin's breath hitched, his body trembling with anticipation. "Noona… you drive me crazy…" he breathed, his voice strained with need.

She smiled, her hands gently tracing the contours of his body. She undressed him slowly, savoring each moment. When he was completely bare, she took a moment to admire him, her heart swelling with love and desire. "You’re beautiful, Seungmin," she whispered as she kissed her way down his body, leaving a trail of warmth in her wake. Seungmin's breaths became shallow, his need for her growing with each touch.

Her touch was gentle as she ran her fingers through Seungmin's hair, guiding him down onto the bed. She leaned over him, her eyes filled with a mischievous glint before she lowered herself between his legs. Her breath was hot against his skin, sending a shiver of anticipation through his body.

As her mouth enveloped him, Seungmin's reaction was immediate. His back arched, a groan escaping his lips as the warmth and wetness surrounded him. He couldn't help as his moans and gasps growing louder with each movement of her lips and tongue. The pleasure was overwhelming, and it made him helplessly honest in his responses.

"Noona..." he breathed, his voice trembling with need. "It feels so good..."

She took him deeper, her pace unhurried but steady, savoring every sound he made. The way his body responded to her touch, the way his hips moved unconsciously, seeking more of her warmth—it was all too intoxicating. His fingers found their way into her hair, gripping it lightly, though he was careful not to push her down too hard. He didn't need to guide her; she knew exactly how to bring him to the edge and hold him there.

"Please... don’t stop..." he begged, his tone dripping with desperation. His head fell back onto the pillow, eyes squeezed shut as waves of pleasure coursed through him. Every time she used just the right amount of pressure or teased him with a flick of her tongue, he couldn't stop the sounds that escaped him. He was completely undone, his usual composed self-melting away under her skilled touch.

She continued to pleasure him, listening to his every whimper, every breathy moan, using it as a guide to drive him closer to the brink. The sounds of his pleasure filled the room, and she couldn't help but feel a sense of pride at the sight of Seungmin reduced to such a state. He was utterly hers in this moment, a bundle of vulnerability and need.

As he approached the peak, his voice cracked, a mix of pleading and pure bliss. "Noona, I'm close... so close..."

She didn’t relent, her movements becoming just a bit faster, a bit more intense, pushing him right over the edge. His release came in a rush, his body trembling violently as he cried out her name, a raw, unfiltered sound of pleasure that seemed to echo through the room.

Seungmin lay there breathless, completely spent, and when she finally looked up at him, his eyes were hazy with satisfaction and adoration. He reached for her hand and inter-lock his with hers.

"Noona… please… I need you…" he whimpered, hand tightening on his noona.

She moved up his body, kissing him deeply before positioning herself over him. She took him in slowly, both of them gasping at the sensation, he was still incredibly hard even after his first release. They stayed still for a moment, savoring the connection, before she began to move.

Her pace was slow and tender, with her guiding him through waves of pleasure. "I’m here, Seungmin… feel how much I love you…" she whispered into his ear, her voice a soothing balm to his soul. Seungmin's hands clung to her, his need for her evident in every touch and moan.

"Noona… you feel so good… don’t stop…" he breathed, his voice shaky with emotion. "I won’t, Seungmin. I’m here with you, always," she reassured him. Their movements were perfectly in sync, the intimacy of their connection deepening with each thrust.

Seungmin's grip tightened as she rode him, his eyes locked on his noona, his breath coming out in heavy pants. "Just like that," he groaned, his voice filled with pleasure.

Every movement sent a wave of warmth through her, and she couldn’t help but moan, her body responding to every touch, every whisper.

Seungmin’s hands slid up her waist, moving over her skin as he watched his noona, completely mesmerized by the way she moved. "You're amazing," he whispered, his voice hoarse with need. "You feel so good, noona."

His praise only spurred her on, making her ride him harder, her body trembling as she chased the high that was building between them. Seungmin’s grip on her hips became more desperate, and his eyes darkened with lust as he watched her, his lips parting in pleasure.

Before long, both of them were lost in the rhythm, the intimacy of the moment overwhelming as they moved together, completely in sync. She leaned down to kiss him, her lips meeting his in a heated kiss as their bodies moved in perfect harmony, the connection between them stronger than ever.

Seungmin’s hands slid up her waist, gripping her skin as he threw his head back, breaking the kiss, his lips parting in a moan that made her heart race. "Noona," he groaned, his voice hoarse and filled with need. "You feel so good. So wet… I can’t get enough of you."

Hearing him say that, his voice rough and breathless, only made her move faster, more eagerly. The way his body reacted beneath her, the way his hips bucked up to meet her movements, sent waves of pleasure through his noona. She could feel how turned on he was, his body trembling with need as they moved together.

"Seungmin," she whispered, her voice shaky as she leaned down, her lips brushing against his. "You make me feel so good. I can’t—" She gasped as he thrust up into her, hitting the right spot, sending sparks of pleasure through her. "I need more…"

Seungmin’s eyes locked onto with his noona, his pupils blown wide with desire. He grabbed her waist with both hands, guiding her movements as he thrust up harder, deeper. "I’ll give you everything," he whispered, his voice breaking with each thrust. "Anything you want. I’ll give you all of me."

His words, his sounds, the way his body fit so perfectly against hers—it all combined into a dizzying spiral of pleasure. She felt herself getting wetter, slicker, and Seungmin’s whimpers turned into something primal, his need for his noona evident in the way he moved beneath her, desperate to be as close to her as possible.

Each sound he made sent another jolt of heat straight through her, and she couldn’t help but whimper herself, overwhelmed by how good he felt inside her. His moans and desperate whimpers were like music to her ears, driving her wild with desire.

"God, noona," Seungmin gasped, feeling himself getting close, the pleasure building higher and higher with each thrust. "I’m so close…"

His grip on her hips tightened, his eyes darkening as he thrust up into her with more intensity. "Come for me, baby," she whispered, her voice thick with lust. "I want to feel you. I need to feel you come in me."

Those words sent Seungmin over the edge, and with one final thrust, he cried out, his body trembling as the waves of pleasure crashed over him.

She followed right behind him, eyes rolling back as she hear Seungmin’s moans turning into a deep groan as he released inside her, filling her completely.

The wet sounds of their joining filled the room, their bodies moving together in perfect harmony. Seungmin’s moans grew louder, his need for her driving him to the brink of madness. "I love you, Seungmin… you’re mine… only mine…" she murmured breathlessly between kisses. "Yes, noona… I’m yours… always…" he gasped, his voice filled with longing.

She collapsed against him, both of them breathing heavily, their bodies still trembling from the intensity of it all. She held Seungmin close, her lips brushing against his forehead as she whispered softly, "You’re amazing, Seungmin... "

Their hips movements continued as they ride out their high, their movements slower than before, more deliberate, each touch and kiss a testament to their love and commitment. "I’ll always be here, Seungmin… I love you…" she whispered as they moved together, the intensity of their connection overwhelming. Seungmin’s whimpers grew louder as he reached his peak once more, the force of his release leaving them trembling.

As they lay together, still entwined, Seungmin’s tears had finally stopped, replaced by a deep, abiding love and the knowledge that they would face any challenges together. He held her close, his heart full of love and gratitude. "I love you, noona… I need you… always…" he whispered, his voice trembling. "I love you too, Seungmin. I’ll never leave you," she promised, stroking his head as she watched her puppy drifting off to sleep in her arms.

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ

Y/N woke up to Seungmin’s cute face nestled close to hers. His eyes were still a bit puffy from all the crying he had done the night before, and his lips were adorably pouty. He looked like an innocent puppy, so vulnerable and endearing. She couldn't help but run her fingers through his soft hair, marveling at how peaceful he seemed now. Under the blanket, they were still not wearing anything, their bodies comfortably close. Seungmin stirred as he felt her touch, slowly waking up. His eyes fluttered open, and when he saw her, a smile spread across his face. He snuggled up to her like a puppy seeking warmth.

"Noona..." he murmured lovingly, his voice still heavy with sleep. He nuzzled his face deeper into Y/N’s neck. They stayed like that for quite some time until Y/N felt Seungmin’s warm big hand slowly inching towards her inner thigh, his touch light and teasing. As his fingers trailed closer and closer to where she ached, her own hand sought him out, finding him already hard, pulsing with need. Their teasing continued, each touch more electric than the last. "Noona, you feel so good... I can't wait..." he whispered, his voice trembling. "Seungmin... please... make love to me..." she breathed, unable to hide her desire.

He positioned himself over her, his eyes locked onto hers with an intensity that took her breath away. "I love you, noona. I'll show you how much..." he vowed, his voice thick with passion. He entered her slowly, savoring the sensation as they both gasped. He began to move, his thrusts slow and deep, pouring all his love into every movement. "You're everything to me... I can't live without you..." he confessed, his voice trembling with emotion. "I love you too... don’t stop..." she urged, gripping his shoulders as their passion intensified.

The desperate, fervent lovemaking pushed them both to the brink. Their wet bodies moved in unison, their sounds of pleasure filling the room. "Noona, you feel so good... I can't hold back..." he moaned.

Y/N’s voice trembled as she whispered, "Don't hold back, Seungmin... I need you..." Her words carried a desperate urgency that seemed to ignite a fire within him.

As Seungmin thrust deeper, Y/N moans became uncontrollable, echoing in the room like a symphony of pleasure. Each movement sent waves of ecstasy coursing through her, intensifying with every thrust. She could feel him getting bigger inside her, stretching her in ways she didn’t think possible, and the sensation was both overwhelming and addictive.

Y/N’s skin felt alive under Seungmin’s touch, every caress igniting a fire within her. The way he held her tighter made her feel utterly cherished, as if he were trying to merge their bodies into one. The soft curses that slipped from his lips only heightened Y/N’s desire; hearing him lose himself in pleasure made her feel powerful, wanted, and needed.

“Seungmin…” she gasped, her voice thick with longing, as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him in deeper. She could sense his struggle to maintain control as he groaned, the sound vibrating through both of them. “You feel so good… you’re so big.”

He buried his face in Y/N’s neck, his breath hot against her skin. “God, noona, you’re so tight,” he murmured, his voice a mix of awe and desperation. “I can’t get enough of you.”

It thrilled Y/N to know just how much of an effect she had on Seungmin. The way his breathing quickened, the sounds he made, and the tremor in his voice all showed just how much he was lost in her. She loved the power in it, knowing that her body, her voice, and every little movement were driving him to the brink.

Wrapping her arms tighter around his neck, she pulled him closer, her lips brushing against his ear as she moaned, the sound coming out shamelessly needy. It only seemed to spur him on, his pace quickening, and his grip on her tightening as if his noona might slip away if he didn’t hold her close enough.

“Seungmin… oh, god,” she whispered against his skin, and she could feel him shudder at the sound of your voice, his own groans turning deeper, more desperate. Her nails lightly dragged along the back of his neck as her hips met each of his thrusts, making sure he could feel just how much she craved him.

Hearing the way she reacted to him seemed to unravel whatever restraint he had left. He pressed his forehead to hers, eyes half-lidded and filled with heat as he drank in every expression on her face, every sound that fell from her lips. “Noona, you’re gonna drive me insane,” he breathed, voice rough and strained. “I can’t… I just need all of you.”

With every thrust, she felt herself melt under the weight of pleasure that Seungmin gave her. He seemed to know exactly how to touch her, how to move, and how to breathe life into every fantasy she had ever had.

“Minnie,” she moaned, her voice barely above a whisper as she clung to him, feeling each stroke send waves of ecstasy through her body. “You’re so good for me.”

His lips curled into a smirk, and she could see the satisfaction in his eyes, knowing that he was the one bringing his noona to such heights. “I want to be everything for you, noona,” he replied, his voice deep and rough as he continued to plunge into her, relentless and sure. “I want to make you feel things you’ve never felt before.”

And he did. Every movement of his was perfectly tailored to elicit the deepest, most delicious sensations, making her feel cherished and adored in a way that felt almost overwhelming. She could feel the tension coiling within her, building with each thrust, each kiss, each soft caress.

Y/N could feel the pressure building deep within her, tightening like a coiled spring as Seungmin continued to work his magic. Each thrust was sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through her body, pushing her closer and closer to the edge. She could hardly think straight, her mind clouded with bliss as she focused solely on the way he filled her, the way he made her feel so incredibly alive.

“Seungmin,” She gasped, nails digging into his shoulders as she urged him on. “I’m so close… I need you.”

His breath quickened, and he looked down at his noona with a mix of lust and determination. “Don’t hold back, noona,” he encouraged, his voice thick with desire. “Let go for me. Please, I need to feel you come around me. Please noona…”

The way he said it sent a jolt of electricity through her and she felt the tension building to an unbearable peak. She could feel her walls tightening around him, as if her body was begging for release. “I can’t hold it anymore,” she panted, her voice trembling with the intensity of it all.

“N-noona…” he whimpered, his thrusts becoming more frantic, more desperate. “Please noona, please come for me, just like that.”

With a final thrust that sent her over the edge, she cried out his name, waves of pleasure crashing over her. She could feel herself tightening around him, her body quaking with ecstasy as he followed her into bliss, releasing himself deep inside his noona. In that moment, nothing else mattered—just the two of them, entwined in the afterglow of their shared release, lost in a world of pleasure and love.

As the waves of pleasure began to subside, she pulled Seungmin down to her, capturing his lips in a messy, passionate kiss. The taste of him, mixed with the remnants of their shared ecstasy, sent another thrill through her. “Thank you for making me feel so good,” you whispered against his lips, her eyes sparkling with affection.

"Noona..." he breathed, his voice filled with love. "I can't live without you... I love you so much..."

She held him close, her fingers brushing through his hair as she whispered, "I love you too, Seungmin..."

"Look... " She continued, looking into his sparkly boba eyes staring back at her. "I'm sorry I did not reach out to you after our fight, I saw your messages and missed calls but-"

"Noona~ it's okay... it's fine now... I'm also sorry that I started this because I was annoying you while you were busy with work." Seungmin admitted sheepishly, hugging her waist tighter.

She chuckled, pinching Seungmin's cheeks lightly, "No matter how much of an annoying menace you are, you're my menace..."

Seungmin felt blood rushing to his face as he nuzzled into his noona's neck, trying to hide his shyness.

They lay entwined, their hearts beating as one, basking in the afterglow of their passion. As Seungmin's tears finally dried, they drifted off to sleep once more, wrapped in each other's arms, knowing that their love had grown even stronger and that no matter what challenges lay ahead, they would face them together.

[jinnirev]

9th member reader would be a fan favourite, getting shipped with every member, and people writing crazy ship fanfiction and art

☆ pairing: ot8 x f!reader

☆ T/W: reader is sexualised a lot, implied non-con somnophilia, Prof x student trope, exhibitionism, sex on livestream, degradation, implied gangbang, spanking

☆notes: dark content ahead, please read trigger warnings before proceeding!

🔞 nsfw under the cut!

you were the one member who every single member got along with, ever since debut. you've never fought with any single one of the members.

which is what caused you to be a fan favourite when it comes to shipping. there would be thousands of fanfiction written about you paired with every single one of the members.

you were scrolling on your twitter timeline, until you stopped when you saw an explicit video with a caption saying: "y/n btm leeknow top, this is a visual representation of what happens whenever y/n fucks up during dance practice." you pressed into the video, a full HD video of a girl getting her pussy pounded, laying on the wooden floor, obviously reminding you of the training room. you hate the admit it, but this did infact happen before, and not just once but several times..

this led to you falling down the rabbit hole of reading and watching sexual fan made content. there were accounts dedicated to describing how good your pussy would be. (you were flattered)

your personal favourites would be those crazy alternate universes where fans would depict the most graphic and vile things.

"y/n would be such a brat during her lecture, not paying attention at all to what mr hwang was saying. showing up to class in an unbelievably short skirt with the tightest tank top, y/n was basically slutting out her body. mr hwang refused to let this slide, asking her to stay behind after class: *insert a video of a girl in a skirt getting railed on a table, getting her ass spanked, leaving angry red hand marks on the soft flesh of her skin.*"

"y/n made seungmin mad while doing a live so he fucked her live infront of over a million people: *insert a video of a girl bouncing up and down a cock, a pair of hands guiding her hips, slamming her down on his cock*"

"thinking abt how creamy and wet y/n's pussy would get during a fan meet when she couldn't get her slutty pussy filled by the rest of the members. so she had to whore her pussy out to the members on stage, they fucked her right there, infront of all the fans."

"y/n would be such a pretty sleeper that roommate!han can never resist touching her when he sees her passed out on the couch. jisung couldn't help but pull down her tiny short, revealing her wet little cunt, all creamy and ready for him to fuck. she let out a whimper of his name in her sleep and jisung gets impossibly harder. he couldn't resist it anymore, pulling out his fat cock and slamming it into sleeping y/n's creamy cunt. her eyes would slowly flutter open, waking up to her pussy getting filled with jisung's cum, clit getting rubbed and pinched by her roommate: *insert a video of a girl laying on her back, getting fucked stupid by a fat cock*"

needless to say, most of them were vile, but made your poor little pussy so wet, you had to start rubbing your clit while scrolling. but you were to used to the members making you cum all the time, you couldn't even take care of yourself :(

you walked into the living room, where the members were all sitting and watching their weekly movie night. "can't cum," you mumble, somehow they all heard you.

all it took were those two words for all of them to turn of the TV and spring into action. not before arguing with each other about who should get to make you cum.

[lieslab]

Not strong enough

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Og8 X gn reader

Summary: Skz finds you when you're struggling with a depressive episode and they try to cheer you up.

Genre: Comfort/hurt & fluff

Word Count: 3.4K

Trigger warning: Depression, anxiety, occasional jokes about dying, and the Seungmin one mentions skin-picking.

A/N: Yesterday I said I'd post a new drabble tomorrow and with barely an hour left in the day, I made it. This was a request, but some of this was sheer stupidity. Depression is a very serious thing, but I have no doubt that the guys would attempt to cheer you up, even if it meant having silly conversations, making bad jokes, and trying to do whatever it took to see you smile <3

_ _ _

Chan:

You rubbed your face with your hands for the third time within the past fifteen minutes. Frustration poured over you as you ripped another page from your journal, crinkled it up, and threw it to the ground. 

Chan glanced up from his computer with a frown. He tugged an earbud from his ear and looked over you. You were bent over the desk in your shared bedroom. Every night, you journal about your day, but the words weren’t coming out today. You already missed the past three entries and were trying to catch up. 

“Are you okay over there?” Chan called out. 

“I’m fine.” 

His eyes went from the back of your silhouette over to the wadded ball of paper and back to your back. You could feel him staring, but you ignored it as you went back to writing words on the lined paper. You began writing, but didn’t get very far. You stopped when your eyes filled with tears. 

You sniffled, wiped them away, and began writing again. Chan knew something was wrong, but you didn’t want to talk about it. Forcing yourself to swallow the lump in your throat and the frustrated sobs that you wanted to push out, you stayed quiet and kept forcing yourself to write. 

The scribbled handwriting was sloppy and none of it was legible. Tears blurred your eyes and made it difficult to see, but you kept pushing. You only stopped when there was a creak behind you. 

Chan put his laptop aside, pulled out his other earbud, and left them on the bed. His bare feet caused loose wooden floorboards to creak beneath the carpet. When he got to you, a supportive hand fell onto your shoulder. 

“Are you okay?” 

You sniffled and shook your head. 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

You shook your head again and his fingers sent a light squeeze to your shoulder. “That’s alright. How about you come back to this in a while? We can watch a movie and hang out.” 

“I don’t want to bother you,” you hoarsely got out. 

His lips pushed into a frown. His eyes studied your face, searching for a sign of what was really wrong with you, but nothing stuck out. You seemed to be okay, so it must have been an internal thing. 

“You’re never a bother to me, sweetheart. You’ll never be a bother to me. Even if you wake me up in the middle of the night or interrupt me while I’m working on a new song, you’re never a bother. This is the least I can do to help make you feel better. Besides, it’s been a while since we last watched something funny.” 

The pen dropped from your hand and you nodded. That oversized lump was still there when you leaned forward, grabbed the front of his shirt, and tugged him closer to you. He didn’t fight it as you wrapped your arms around his waist and kept him held tight. 

“Better?” He smiled softly as he wrapped his arms around your back. 

In the familiar scent of his cologne and the comforting warmth, all you could do was nod. 

_ _ _

Minho: 

Plink!

Plink! 

You opened your eyes with a groan. Crying yourself to sleep again caused your eyelashes to stick together. In the darkness of your bedroom, the only thing letting light in was the moonlight slipping between the curtains. 

You shifted in your covers and pulled them over your head. Even the moon was too bright. You didn’t want to let any light in. With the way you had been feeling lately, you were okay with drowning in the darkness. 

Plink! Plink! Plink! 

It’s just hail, you reassured yourself as you buried your head in the cover. It stopped for a while and then there was a loud crack. You jerked up straight in your bed with wide eyes. With eyes meeting the window, a large crack sat along the middle of the glass panel. 

You shoved yourself from the bed and rushed over, hoping to capture the perpetrator. When you got there, to your surprise, nobody was running away. Instead, Minho was down below waving his hands frantically to capture your attention. Confusion filled your half-asleep stature and you slid open the window. 

“I didn’t mean to put a crack in your window with the rock. I’ll replace it, I swear. Come downstairs and let me in before I break a bottom window and crawl inside.” 

“Do you know what time it is?” You called down. 

“Time for me to hold you while we both get some sleep. You’ve been ignoring my calls and texts. I would have come earlier, but dance practice stayed over. I told you I’d be over later, but clearly-” His hands shifted to his hips. “Someone ignored my messages.” 

“Go back to your dorm, Minho.” 

“Don’t make me hunt down a crow bar and force entry into your household. Let me inside. I know something is wrong with you and you’re crazy if you think I’m just going to let you deal with it on your own.” 

“If you’re so desperate, why don’t you just climb up here?” 

“Fine!” He huffed, spun around to face the large maple tree beside him, and began to identify the weakened points to climb up. He shoved his foot into the knot of two branches and yanked himself up. 

His body still ached from practice, but he was worried about you. In the outline of the window, you looked pale and exhausted. You were crazy if you thought he was going to return empty-handed. 

“You’re such an idiot,” you grumbled as he climbed higher branches. He steadied himself pretty well as he used his limbs to climb higher and higher. 

Before you knew it, he was only about three feet from your window. With a steady balance, he pushed himself to his feet. “Back up, so I can jump in.” 

“Huh?” 

“Back up. You know like-” He flapped his hands back towards you. “Scooch your booch or whatever. Haul ass, so I can get inside.” 

“I’m gonna shove my foot up your booch.” 

“You’re going to regret that if I fall and die.” 

“You are so dramatic.” You stepped back, but stood near the window, just in case he needed you. 

He took a running start before he launched himself at your window. Like a cat, he pounced and caught the end of the windowsill. He shifted and shimmied until he got in and landed with a soft thud on the rug. 

“So,” he sucked in a deep breath, “are you going to tell me why you’re ignoring me?” 

“I’m not in the mood to do anything besides sleep. I just want to melt into the bed and be at peace for a while. It’s all so overwhelming and you know how it is.” 

“I think I do. Luckily, I’m here to save you.” He shifted, kicked off his shoes, and pushed you towards the bed. “We’ll discuss this more tomorrow, but for now, it’s bedtime.” 

_ _ _

Changbin: 

“Do you want to go to the movies?” 

“No.” 

“On a walk?” 

“No.” 

“Gym?” 

“No.” 

“How about we relax with a drive?” 

“No thanks.” 

Changbin sighed and shifted on the bed. He inched closer to you and let his legs intertwine with yours. “Well, what do you want to do?”  

“I want to lay here and do nothing. I don’t have the energy to do anything. I just want to lay here beneath the covers and if I’m lucky, God will strike me dead.” 

“Nuh-uh! If God strikes you dead, I’m coming up there and giving him an ass-whooping.” 

“You can’t beat up God, he’s God.” 

“Well then, he can keep his immortal fingers off my significant other. Honey bear, you’re stuck with me forever. No matter what, I’m always gonna be right here beside you.” 

“Thank you.” 

“I know life is hard and I know sometimes you tend to struggle.” He shoved himself up and rubbed his hands together. “So I have decided to squash the sadness out of you.” 

“Huh?” 

“You heard me.” He stumbled and struggled to find his balance on the wavering bed. He rubbed his hands together again and shifted his feet. 

“Here I come!” 

“Changbin, no!” 

“Binnie, yes!”  

You lost your breath as he let his arms out to the sides. Your eyes squeezed shut and you braced for impact, but it never came. Instead, he let out a giggle and plopped back down beside you. 

“You really thought I was gonna squish you? You survive another day and I get to love you one more time.” He wiggled over and rolled on top of you, so your chests were pressed together. You sent an unamused scowl his way. 

“Aw, come on, don’t be like that!” He reached up and pressed your cheeks together. “Goosh, goosh. Who’s a cutie patootie? Who’s my little cutie patootie?” 

Your cheeks went bright red and you tried to shove his hands away, but he wouldn’t stop cooing at you. Your head went back as you laughed and he beamed. 

“There’s the laughter I love. Hold still! I wanna do it again, so I can hear you some more. Oochie, coochie, coo.” 

“Coochie?” Your eyes widened

“Hey! Don’t make it weird!” 

_ _ _

Hyunjin: 

“Have you been feeling off lately too?” Hyunjin asked. 

The two of you had your backs pressed into the overgrown grass. Ticks and bugs were the least of your worries as you stared up at the empty night sky. Your eyes swam across the speckled constellations. “Something like that, yeah.” 

“Miserable and depressed?” 

“Miserable and depressed,” you agreed. 

“I thought so. I’ve noticed that sometimes when you start feeling rough, I feel rough. Maybe we’re connected or-” 

“Maybe you’re just emotionally sensitive and in tune with my emotions or, better yet, you can read body language.” 

“I liked my idea of being emotionally connected better, but okay, sure. Go right ahead and crush my little heart and my dreams.” He dramatically huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“I think I will,” you joked softly. 

He huffed once more and a silence grew between the two of you for a while. It took a bit before you responded again. “Do you think the stars look at us and laugh at how tiny we look? Are we looking at them or are they looking at us?” 

“That’s a good question, but I thought stars were dead.” 

“Supposedly, I think, but who really knows.” 

“Space is confusing,” he mumbled beneath his breath. 

“Life is confusing,” you added. 

“I just want to stay in this moment forever.” 

“Me too.” 

“You know,” he shifted and rolled onto his side to face you, “I brought you here to remind you that beauty still exists in the darkness.” 

“How poetic.” 

“Romantic, hmm?” He grinned and leaned closer. “I know you like keeping your struggles hidden, so I’ll be here waiting for you to unleash them. In the meantime, maybe we can find another planet in the maze of stars or something.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Anytime, sweets, anytime.” 

_ _ _

Han: 

“You’re ignoring me!” 

“Han,” you mumbled softly, “I swear it’s not on purpose. I’ve been having a struggle lately and please know that it’s not you. It’s me and my brain. Everything is just a mess lately and I’m so tired.” 

“Wait, why didn’t you say that in the first place? How long has this been happening? What’s going on?” He kicked off his shoes and rushed towards where you were laying on the couch. “Are you okay?” 

“Physically? I’m fine. Mentally? I’m stuck in the waves of depression and everything is so exhausting. I truly don’t mean to ignore you, but all I can think about is how nice a nap sounds. I wake up and barely do anything and then I’m exhausted.” 

“Uh-oh.” He straddled one leg over you and gently sat himself on your waist. “I have some news for your brain.” 

“Oh, really?” 

“Uh-huh.” He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against your own. You blushed at the intimate contact and he pushed your head gently back into the leather couch. 

“Listen here brain, you better shape up and ship out. You keep that sad shit away from my significant other. Don’t make me stick my fingers up their nose and give you a good shake. I’ll clock your noggin, baby. Don’t think I won’t give it a good shake and a swift spanking like a piggy bank.” 

“You’d really shove your fingers up my nose?” You whispered in an attempt not to laugh. 

He suddenly leaned back and blinked. His hand went up and he looked at his fingers and then your nose. He cocked his head, stuck up two fingers, and hummed as he shifted and observed them. 

“Now that I don’t think about it, I’m not sure they’d fit. Do you wanna try it?” His entire face lit up at the possibility. 

“Keep your fingers out of my nasal cavity. I don’t know where they’ve been and quite frankly, I don’t wanna know. You’ve probably had them down yo-” 

“Woah, woah, woah! This is a family show! None of that!” 

“You threatened to spank my brain!” 

“If you keep back-talking, you’re gonna be the one to get a spanking.” 

_ _ _

Felix: 

“I would move mountains for you. I would make the world stop tilting on its axis. I’d prick my finger on every spinning wheel until I found my way back to you and I would-” 

“What are you doing?” You asked as you cocked your head. 

Felix was standing in your kitchen early in the morning. In a chef’s hat, a floral apron, and flour smeared across his cheek, he was a mess, but he was a cute mess. He sucked in a deep breath and let it out. 

“One of the guys said you told them you were struggling lately and when you told them and didn’t tell me, I was upset. However, I then realized that you told them when you were drunk which basically meant you weren’t going to tell anyone and the point is-” He stepped away from the counter he was standing in front of and pushed out his arms. 

“I know you have a sweet tooth and I’m not sure when you last ate. I know too much sugar isn’t great for you, but I believe it’s better than starving, so I might have used your kitchen and went overboard.” 

He smiled sheepishly and gestured back to the tray of desserts that sat perched behind him. “So I made you sweet treats and I know you have the day off, so I thought maybe we could hang out.” 

“Felix…” Your voice came out hoarsely as tears filled up your eyes. “You really didn’t have to do that.” 

“You’re right, but I wanted to. You’ve done so much to make my life easier and I wanted to return the favor.”  

“Honestly, I don’t think today is a good day to hang out. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I have the energy to go outside and I…” You trailed off as your hand went to the back of your neck. “I just came out to get a glass of water. I’m still really tired, so…”

“Hey, that’s okay! I’ve been up all night and nothing sounds better than cuddling you. At least, if you allow me to.” 

“As long as you wipe the flour off your face.” 

“Done deal.” 

“And maybe bring two of those chocolate cookies, so we can have a mini snack.” 

“Say no more.” 

“Thank you, sunshine.” 

“Hey, I should be thanking you. You make me so happy and I can’t wait to cuddle you again. It’s been quite a while since the last time that happened. Come on!” He took off his apron and hat. “Let’s eat and head back to bed.”

_ _ _

Seungmin: 

“You’re doing that thing you do when you’re anxious again.” Seungmin pointed out as you picked at the skin along the side of your nail. When you didn’t respond, he tried again. “Hello?” 

No response. 

He sighed, reached out, and placed a hand on yours. You jumped, frightened by the sudden warmth, before you relaxed again. “What are you doing?” 

“You’re picking at your fingers. You told me to tell you to stop it when I caught you doing it.” 

“Oh, right. Sorry.” You pulled your hands away and laid them at your sides. 

“Is something wrong? You’ve seemed pretty lost the past few days. Your mind seems to be elsewhere. It’s like you’re here physically, but not mentally.” 

“I haven’t been the best lately. I think my depression is starting to come back again. I swear, I’m trying to help myself, but sometimes it seems a bit pointless. I seem okay and then I fall apart again.” 

“It’s okay to struggle, but it’s not okay to do it silently.” 

“That’s quite the shocker coming from you. You always like keeping your struggles to yourself. It almost seems a bit hypocritical.” 

He groaned and tossed his head back. “I know and I’m trying to work on that. If I have to work on my issues, it means you have to work on yours. How about this? We ramble our issues to each other and then we pretend that it never happened and go back to normal after being vulnerable.” 

“What’s the catch?” You raised an eyebrow. 

“The catch is that we keep opening up to each other during the next few days, but only at specific times. That way, we’re not overwhelmed and we still get out our issues, even if we don’t want to, but once the time is up, we don’t talk about them again.” 

“Good enough.” 

“You start.” 

“No, you.” 

“No, you.” 

“You’re impossible.” 

“Up yours, Seungmin.” 

_ _ _

Jeongin: 

“Don’t give me that look, you know I cave easily when you look at me like that. This isn’t fair!” You complained with your arms crossed. A pout sat on your face as Jeongin laid in your lap with a full dose of puppy dog eyes and a drooping bottom lip. 

“I just wanna know what’s wrong with you. You’re not laughing at my jokes and you’re distant. You keep staring at the blank wall and it’s starting to freak me out. Are you seeing aliens or something?” 

“I’m not seeing aliens!” 

“Well, you might be!” 

“We don’t even know if aliens exist.” 

“If they do, I’d tell you that you have to tell me what’s wrong. If you don’t, I’d allow them to probe you.” 

“Woah! Woah! Woah! Huh?” Your eyes widened in shock as you stared over at him. “You’d let them probe me?” 

He pouted and shifted, so his face was facing the TV instead of you. “That’s what happens when you don’t open up to your lover. You get probed by aliens.” 

“That’s bullshit.” 

“I’d call them off if you just told me what was wrong with you.” 

“You don’t even know if they’d listen to you or not.” 

“Yeah, I do. I literally sang Maknae on top. Obviously, that’d be their national anthem and my face would be on their flag.” 

“And what planet do you live on? Narcissism?” 

He scoffed, “pft, no. Obviously, it’s planet pride.” 

“For more than one reason,” you whispered beneath your breath. 

“Huh?” He shifted to glance over his shoulder at you. 

“Nothing. Anyway, for your information, I’ve had a rough few days and I’ve mentally checked out. I don’t want to say it’s depression, but-” 

“It’s sadness that could turn back into your depression?” He guessed. 

“Something like that. I need to schedule another appointment with my therapist, but every time I think about making the call, I want to burst into tears.” 

“How about you email her instead?” 

You opened your mouth to disagree and then paused. “Well, I guess I could do that. I didn’t really think about it, but that’d work.” 

“You better get on that before the aliens come down and probe.” 

“I’m going to kick your ass.” 

“Good luck, babe. You can’t reach it when you’re here being sad.” You rolled your eyes and he laughed. “You better write that email by tomorrow. The aliens are merciful for one business day and then they’re coming to search your insides.” 

“What are they going to find besides my depression?” 

“Stupidity.” 

“You’re so lucky that I love you and I appreciate you.” 

“Like I said, stupidity.” 

“I’m going to toss you onto a UFO and send your ass to the moon.” 

“That’s not gonna save you from alien probing. The aliens and I are linked up. We can talk to each other with our brains.” 

“I can’t believe you have this planned out.” 

“And I can’t believe you don’t.” 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Taglist: @lina-linny @straykidsstanforeverandever @seungnishi @stellasays45

Masterlist

Taglist and inbox rules

[frehyun]

Mistletoe

non-idol!Felix x gn!Reader

warnings: none!

genre: fluff

word count: around 700

author's note: it's november but the first christmas markets are gonna go up at the end of the month in my country and it's already affecting me. hope you enjoy this, it's just a quick silly one! <3

masterlist

divider by @firefly-graphics

You couldn’t take your eyes off him. The way the lights reflected off his eyes, making them sparkle and glitter in the dark. His freckles like little galaxies dancing around on his cheeks, painted a cute soft red by the cold. Surrounded by countless flickering lights and beautiful decorations, your focus was always drawn to the prettiest thing around you: your boyfriend Felix.

His smile was infectious as he sipped on his hot chocolate, yapping away about something where you realised you tapped out of the conversation a while ago, mesmerised by how beautiful he looked even while doing the mundanest things like sitting at the corner of a Christmas market with you.

“-and I already have an idea of what to get Seungmin for Christmas.”

“It can’t be worse than whatever Minho has planned to torment everyone with, so I think you’re safe. You’re a great gift giver, Lixie” – you told him, hoping that it wasn’t too obvious you didn’t catch half of his sentence.

You leaned more into his side, trying your best to initiate some form of physical contact. With you and Felix both bundled up in several layers, both sporting thick gloves and fitting beanies, it was as good as impossible to get any skinship while you were out and about, so this would have to do.

“You think they have a mistletoe somewhere around here?” – he suddenly quips, looking around the plaza.

“Are you that eager to kiss me in public?” – you giggle and take his gloved hand awkwardly into yours, intertwining your fingers to the best of your ability.

“So what if I am?” – he playfully pouts in return and squeezes your hand.

You bumped your shoulder into his and moved to get up from the little bench the two of you were situated on.

Realising that you were going to indulge his request, Felix beamed up at you, smiling that bright teethy smile of his that almost triggered your cuteness aggression into overdrive.

Hand in hand the two of you wandered around the plaza before finally spotting a stand that had a mistletoe hanging from a wooden beam. With a hop in your step, Felix and you skipped towards the little wooden hut full of giggles, excitement bubbling up in your chests.

It was silly to get this excited over a simple mistletoe kiss but with Felix by your side, even the smallest things seemed to spark unbridled joy in your heart, which was thumping happily in anticipation.

As you stood on either side of the mistletoe, grinning from ear to ear, his arms found their way around your waist, pulling you closer to him. His soft lips found yours in an instant, kissing you like it was the last kiss he was going to get in a while.

Little fireworks exploded in your chest as they always do when you get to kiss your sunshine and you smile against his lips before the two of you parted, your forehead leaned against his.

“People are staring” – you giggled and poked his side, which in turn made him giggle and twist his body away from your attack.

“They’re just jealous.”

“Jealous of me, maybe.”

“Hey! Do you want me to start listing all the things I love about you again?”

“And have me cry in the middle of a Christmas market?”

“You know I’ll do it. So! First thing-“

“Alright! I get it! You can stop!” – you hastily placed your hand over his mouth before he could make you cry of happiness and love for real, laughing over his competitiveness at who loves the other more.

It was getting awkward with all the people looking in your direction, so you decided to call it a day and trudge home.

Soft, joyful days like these were always a blessing with Felix and made you wonder what you did in your previous life to deserve him. He could always manage to make you laugh, smiling brighter than all the Christmas lights combined.

You were sure that as long as you had him, you never needed another Christmas present again if it meant you could spend your days with him.

[skulla-rxcks]

Gaping guns

Paring: ot8 x afab reader

Rating: explicit

Genre: smut

Warnings: gun fucking, face fucking, PIV, unprotected, group s3x

Day 12 of ktober - You wake up in a random house and agree to have sex with a group of men, not knowing that it would be the most pleasurable experience of your entire life.

Taglist: @f3lix00 @channiesgoodgirl @mal-lunar-28 @bangchans-gf5 @fun-fanfics @iwannabangchan @linosluver

Please dm me or use my inbox if you’d like to be added to the taglist ^^

THIS IS PURE FICTION, NOTHING IN THIS IS REAL ITS JUST A STORY!

I’m walking back my car after doing my weekly grocery shopping, all the heavy bags I’m carrying hurting my arms, they’re definitely going to leave marks. As I continue walking I can’t help but wonder why I parked so far away, yeah sure the parking lot was full but could I at least have found a spot closer? my feet move along the concrete dragging myself along. Suddenly I feel someone or something grab me from behind. I fall onto the concrete behind me and hit my head, completely blacking out.

I wake up on a rich velvet covered house in what seems like a fancy dining room, I rub my eyes and sit up, looking around. there’s eight men sitting around the room I’m in, are they the ones who brought me here? I wonder. “you’re awake. finally.” one of them says in a deep Australian accent; his hairs blonde with a strong but petite build. “what happened..?

where am I? who are you guys?” I ask him, my eyes scanning the other men in the room as I wait for an answer.

“don’t worry about that now,” another man replies to me, he also has a similar accent to the guy who woke me up, but a bit more buffness in this build, his biceps popping out of his tank top.

“we’ll take you home if you let us fuck you, yeah?” fuck me? hopefully not all eight of them,, right? “would you let us use you, bunny?” one of the eight says. “I.. okay. but what are your names so I know what to.. scream?” I ask, crossing my legs as I sink into the couch. “Chan, Felix, Han, Seungmin, Jeongin call him I.n if easier, Hyunjin and Minho, oh and I’m Changbin.” the one who called me bunny says, Changbin. “okay.. I’ll try remembering all of your names.” I respond. “good girl.. take off your clothes for us.” Chan says with his thick accent, walking behind me and putting a gun to my head, threatening to pull the trigger if I don’t. the gun intimidating me enough to make me strip right then and there. “undergarments too.” Han giggles, walking up to me with a knife, cutting my underwear and bra off with a quick swipe before pulling the ripped material from my body.

“legs open. princess.” He adds, his strong hands forcefully pulling my thighs open to reveal my already wet pinkish cunt.

Chan kneels down infront of me, licking a stripe down my soaked folds. “what are you.. nngh..” I moan out, the sensation of being touched by his tongue making me whimper already. “I’m tasting you baby girl.” He chuckles, spreading my folds open and thrusting 2 fingers inside of me, curling them up and finding my g spot almost immediately.

“Fuck!” I gasp. “We’ll do that soon enough baby.” He replies, making a joke out of my moans.

“Who wants her first? And which hole?” He asks the rest of the boys; Changbin says he wants my ass, Felix says my pussy and Jeongin says my mouth. I thought they’d all use me separately but I was wrong as I see the three men walk towards me while taking their pants and boxers off as well as their shirts. All of them seem to have amazing bodies, abs, muscles and perfectly fit, you can tell they work out quite a bit.

Chan moves away and stands behind me again, watching as the three boys position themselves at the entrance of my holes. I moan in a mixture of pleasure and pain as all of their dicks impale me at once; Changbin’s making me whimper the most,

I’ve never had anything in my ass before so it feels like he’s ripping me open. “Fuckk..~” I cry, my words muffled from Jeongin’s cock in my mouth, I hear him gasp as my words send vibrations throughout his length. Felix starts moving inside of my pussy, his cock rubbing slightly against Changbin’s through the small barrier of skin. “Dick… so much… mmgh!” My eyes roll back as all three of them start penetrating my holes, my entire body shuddering at the sensation.

The rest of the boys are watching, staring at the scene with lust filled eyes stroking their own dicks as they watch my body get absolutely destroyed.

Chan leans over and takes out his gun again, rubbing it against my clit, adding to the pleasure these strange men are giving me. Minho comes over, tired off waiting he rubs himself against my breasts, beginning to leak all over my chest, his groans adding to the noise we all are making as he rubs his dick against the soft skin repeatedly.

“I’m gonna fucking cum!” Felix blurts out “can I fill you up?” He asks, I shake my head in response. No. What If I get pregnant? As much as I’d love my womb being filled up with Felix’s seed I sadly have to say no. He ends up pulling out and cumming all over my stomach, leaving my pussy gaping while Jeongin and Changbin are still going at my mouth and ass.

Hyunjin begins to walk over, taking Felix’s place and beginning to penetrate my pussy, thrusting way harder than Felix did, making the sound of skin against skin echo in the room. Jeongin fills up my mouth with his warm salty semen, not pulling out until I swallow it all; Seungmin pushing him aside and using my mouth now.

“So pretty..” Chan giggles, slapping his cock against my face as he watches me get violated by his friends, watching and paying attention to every thrust filling up my holes, and every groan and moan that we all are making, as well as the noises of Changbin’s and Hyunjin’s balls slapping against me. “Stay still..” Changbin Groans, wrapping his hand around my neck as he fills up my asshole with his thick seed, the feeling of his cum in my ass making me feel all warm inside. in the meantime Minho stops rubbing against my breasts and takes my ass instead now, thrusting harder and harder until he releases his load inside of me, Hyunjin follows after and then not soon after Seungmin does too.

Everyone’s Either filled me up or their cums stained on my skin, just as I thought we were done Chan pushes the boys away and commands for them to sit down - as if he’s their leader or something. “I’m not done with you yet.” He says, standing in front of me, kneeling down before shoving his gun into my vagina thrusting it in and out of me. “C..chan..? That’s a gun not a.. a dildo..” I tell him, earning a chuckle from him in response. “I know that, but I’m going to use it as one.” He shoves it in me deeper and deeper making me squirm until I cum all over the gun, hopefully not ruining it.

“Bend over the couch, get into doggy. He demands, I do as he says, bending myself over the arm of the chair, arching my back as my ass sticks out for him. “Good girl” he smirks before pushing into my vagina, thrusting himself in and out of me at a rapid pace. Using one of his hands to squeeze and play with my ass, while using the other one to slowly finger my ass before bringing up the speed to match it with the pace of his thrusting. I moan in pleasure, tears forming in my eyes as he uses me; fucking me harder and faster than any of the guys did. It could just be that he’s extremely fucking horny or that his dicks bigger than the others. Either way, I don’t care. “Chan..!” I cry, tears running down my face, wetting my cheeks with a hint of a glistening sparkle from my makeup as my mascara and eye shadow runs down my cheeks with them.

“You feel so fucking good. I’m going to cum inside this little tight cunt.” He says, growling into my ear.

“No.. I’ll get pregnant!” I call out. “So? I’ll get you plan b pills after this. Just need this right now, need to cum inside this slutty cunt of yours it’s the only part of you that hasn’t been filled up yet.” Chan groans, pushing his cock deeper into my pussy. “A-ah. But.. b-b-but..” I try to reason with him but I can’t he’s too deep inside me for me to complain about it, I look over at the rest of the guys who are now pleasuring each other; sucking and jerking each other. Some of them even kissing. But I can’t seem to focus on that now, all I can take in and focus on his dick penetrating my pussy, Chan’s dick to be exact.

“God you’re so cute.. can’t even talk! Fuck I’m gonna.. I’m gonna fill you up with my seed, take it, take it all you slutty bitch!” He screams out as he releases himself inside my cunt. When he pulls out I moan, feeling empty again.

“Gonna go get the pills now.. if you’re still horny maybe have another round with the boys..” Chan chuckles as he walks out the door to get the contraceptives. I nod and walk over to the rest of the boys, wanting to. No. Needing to be fucked one last time.