#Seriously what is up with that kind of complaint it just does not make sense to me

[raichukfm]

I think part of what is behind this is the belief that white people are generic. The takeaway from that seems 'progressive' as it poses itself in opposition to the undifferentiated morass of white Western cultural hegemony... But it is a kind of viewpoint that elevates and feeds into that hegemony. It reinforces its prevalence by treating it as a default, even negatively; and it erases cultures if they happen to be lumped under the 'white' umbrella for looking a certain way.

And the thing is that this kind of thing can be propagated even by people who can understand that it's wrong—a magical realist story in a small village in the Alps, said the tweeter, that would be meaningful and a breath of fresh air! Despite that being European and posting a white-passing piece of art for its protagonist.

Because of course the only way to have white characters and avoid that morass is to go to small villages in areas associated with a sort of rustic pastoral aesthetic, or the like. You can't go and have it be urban (unless it's a famous city with romancified picturesque) or unabashedly modern or just real or otherwise step out of that twee picturesqueness. There's too much of that already!

And then since most people do not live in picturesque idealized little villages touched only gently by the passage of time, and white people are not an exception, white people making stories that reflect their actual culture are just making Another Story About White People rolling-eyes-emoji.

And also that same kind of belief that the white Western cultural blob is default is another factor behind seeing works reflecting the culture and environment of other places as being behind and thus crass, I think.

I have not played Disco Elysium and don't really intend to, but like... I have heard enough stuff about that considering its protagonist or setting bland or generic 'whiteness' is fucking absurd?? How early into the game was that original tweeter when tweeting it

I hope the "What if Disco Elysium was about a witch finding her cat in the mountains" post never leaves the gaming discourse vernacular. It will never not be funny to me bc it's got all the Gamer Entitlement™ levels of CoD bros throwing hissy fits about "woke" shit but instead of being couched in far right reactionism it's the exact kind of "Kingdom of Conscience" style liberal outrage at anything with conviction and beliefs that DE waxed on about. Like even chuds who get mad that the game calls you out for being racist interact with the themes of DE better and understand them more than Cat Lady did.

[chlix]

hello christ? i'm 'bout to sin again

vampire! chan x fem! reader: you're a blood donor for wealthy vampires in need of willing victims. it's possible you like your job a little too much

genre: fluff, smut (MDNI)

word count: 6.4k

warnings/tags: oral sex (fem receiving), blood drinking, unsafe sex, seriously like don't do this it's so unsanitary

a/n: i've literally never written smut so i was hesitant to post this, but i liked the idea and i had fun writing it so here it is anyway. i used the name "hyunji" bc this fic only made sense in my brain in third person, but feel free to substitute that name for your own!

Hyunji steels herself as the car she’s in pulls up to the restaurant. It’s an upscale place, with tall glass windows and expertly pruned landscaping on the circle drive. Small light fixtures are placed along edges and curves that make the already tall building exterior look even taller in the evening light. Hyunji has been to some upscale places, but nothing like this. Then again, she’s never had a client exactly like this either. She needs to be on her best behavior.

"He's a bit particular," the woman at the agency told her earlier on the phone. "He's been through a handful of our donors this month alone. I’ve received no complaints from any of them, any everyone was paid well above our rates, but none were asked for a second appointment. I can't give you any pointers for what they did wrong."

If the only consequence of the night going wrong is that Hyunji goes home with a fat paycheck and continues her job search, she’ll consider the evening a success. Sometimes donors are stiffed of their pay entirely or treated like walking bags of meat rather than people offering a service. Sometimes girls don’t come back at all.

That’s the way it goes when you’re dealing with vampires.

But Hyunji loves a challenge, and she'd already signed a liability waiver when she was put on the registry, so she'd accepted the details of the meeting and started getting ready. She’s wearing a black long-sleeved dress with a slit high enough to reveal a good amount of thigh even when she stands. The neckline is low, and the collar frames her collarbone enticingly. No necklaces, no earrings, but a single silver bracelet. She wants to look inviting; not so much done up as...put together. Polished. She doesn’t want to look like an easy meal. Hyunji knows from experience that vampires also like challenge more often than not.

She exits the car and tips the driver in cash and walks up to the restuarant with her coat wrapped around herself and her purse in hand. She approaches the maître d’ with a practiced smile on her face, and he greets her with a polite bow.

"Hello," she greets. "Reservation for Bang?"

The maître d’ calls over another attendant, who leads her to a small room off from the main dining room. A private area. Inside are a few tables spaced far enough apart that they fade away in the low lighting. In the far corner, a man sits staring at the wall, tapping idly at his plate. He has dark hair that’s gelled away from his face, and pink, plush lips. He’s wearing a suit, but Hyunji can tell that there’s muscles under it just from the way he holds his body. His eyes are a bright, unnatural blue. Even at first glance, in this dim room, Hyunji can see that he’s breathtakingly handsome. Of course, that's nothing new. Most vampires are. It’s kind of the whole point.

"Mr. Bang," the attendant says quietly. "Your guest has arrived."

The man turns to look at them, sitting up properly as he does. He gave the attendant a staged smile of his own. "Thank you very much, Sohyeon. We'll call when we're ready."

The attendant- Seohyeon- bows and leaves.

"Please, take a seat” he says, and Hyunji removes her coat and sets it on the chair, then sits down herself.

"I hope you aren't too nervous," he says. "But I thought it might be better for us to discuss these things in relative privacy."

"I'm not nervous. I appreciate the consideration."

He nods. "I'm Bang Chan. Though I suppose you already know that."

Hyunji had suspected, but it's not as if vampires are keen on photography. He could be Chan's assistant, or his errand boy. It isn’t uncommon for initial meetings like this, especially with vampires of such high stature.

"I'm Son Hyunji," she says. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Likewise."

"Can I say, I'm a bit surprised you came in person?"

Chan's smile turns a bit wry. "Well, I prefer to make my own decisions about these sorts of things. It's not that I don't trust the other members of my coven. It's just that matters like this are a bit...personal. You understand."

"I do."

"I'm sure they gave you the rundown of my history with your agency. I hope being a frequent user isn’t a mark against me."

Chan doesn’t seem to be overly invested in the theatrics of all this, so Hyunji decides to be frank.

"They didn't give me many details. I was only told that all the girls were sent home unharmed. In this business, that's a victory."

"That's a generous outlook."

"Of course I'm generous. I'm offering my blood."

Chan cracks a smile, and some of the severity in the places of his face eked away. "That you are. I assume you came prepared today ready to be bitten?"

"If the negotiations go well, then yes, I'm prepared."

"Well, then I'll be on my best behavior," Chan said. "And I should probably get you something to eat."

He must press some button under his table, because Seohyeon reappears, ready to assist.

"Do you mind if I order for you?" he asks.

"Not at all." It isn’t uncommon. Diet has an impact on the taste of the blood, and every client has a preference. For her last position, Hyunji had found herself eating much more meat than she normally did and had to pick up running as a hobby to help with indigestion. At another job, she'd been overfed sugar, as if being fattened by a witch. Both of those had been a pain; it had been difficult to maintain her figure when she was practically being force-fed.

Chan, however, orders her a simple vegetable dish and a glass of water, along with a platter of cut exotic fruits.

"You'll need carbohydrates," he says simply. Hyunji simply nods. She can handle being grass-fed. It might even help her cholesterol levels.

Seohyeon leaves to submit their orders and returns later with a single crystalline glass. She doesn’t even attempt to set a glass or plate in front of Chan.

"You have meetings like this here often, then?" she asks.

"I do. I have high regard for their discretion."

"And here I thought I was special," Hyunji jokes, hoping to see that small smile again and being gratified when she receives it.

"Somehow I can tell that you are, regardless of my behavior."

Hyunji sips her drink for a moment, and they sit in amicable silence. Her weakness when it comes to meetings like this is her urge to fill space. She tends to talk when she's nervous, trying too hard to sell herself. She knows better than most that vampires are not a monolith, but generally speaking, they have a much higher tolerance for discomfort that most humans. They value solitude and caution. Hyunji tries to mirror this as best she can, to appear thoughtful, controlled. This too is also a test of her resolve. She can't seem like she would be easy to take advantage of. It’s a matter of life and death.

"Do you have any questions for me?" she finally asks. "You must have some harsh requirements, if no other girls have lasted more than a day."

Chan shrugs. "Sometimes people are incompatible."

"So cryptic. Is decoding your words part of the test?"

"I don't try to be cryptic. It might be hard to believe, but I'm not naturally inclined towards this sort of thing. I find these meetings awkward and artificial."

That's interesting. Hyunji sets her glass of water down. "Artificial, huh? I don't seem genuine to you?"

"It's not you, it's... all of this. The agency, the meeting, the negotiations. It just...gives me a bit of a headache."

"Would you rather chase me as I run screaming down the street?" she asks. "It wouldn't be the strangest thing asked of me."

Chan's eyes widen, caught off guard. "Someone's asked you for that?"

"Yes. I said no, of course."

Chan shakes himself out of his disbelief. "Good. I mean, not good that someone asked you that, but good that you refused. That's horrible."

Hyunji hums. "Part of the job."

"I've heard a bit about it..." he murmurs, then looks directly at Hyunji, voice resolved, focused. "I should have said this when you came in, but you're under no obligation to stay here. At any point in the night you can leave. You won't be harmed, and you'll be compensated for your time. I never want you to feel like you're trapped here with me, whether that be literally, socially, or financially." He seems to want to stop speaking, but continues, "This is what I mean by artificial. If you're in my employ, I feel as if I rob you of safety. It's not a position I enjoy being in."

This is such an unexpected turn of events. Hyunji had always assumed having power over their donors, even if it was just for show, was part of the fun. Yes, her official job is "blood donor," but in practice, she supposes most of her jobs boil down to "consensual victim." She shows up at a designated location after eating and drinking what she’s told, wearing what she’s told to wear, and is bitten. She tells nobody what she’s doing, and her clients often leave as soon as they are finished with her. But Chan says that all those things make him uncomfortable. He only wants her blood.

It’s fascinating. And too good of an opportunity to pass up.

"Is that why you switch donors so frequently?" she asks. "You feel as if you're taking advantage of them?"

Chan's lips twitch. "A futile attempt at damage control, I'll admit."

"It's noble," she says, and she truly means it. "It means a lot to me to hear you say that." She’s silent for another moment, debating. "I doubt this will ease your worries, but I don't do this job as a primary source of income. I'm actually quite well-off. And I didn't get roped into this young and have some traumatic past tied to it. I'd never even met one of your kind until I took my first client, after I graduated college. If you think I'm bluffing, I can show you my bank statements. So being your regular donor wouldn't be you taking advantage of me. I could quit any time I wanted without a second thought."

"I did think you'd done this a few times. Back in your home country?”

"And a few here and there before you. Nothing permanent. I didn't like how they talked to me, so I quit. I would give their names, but y'know. Donor-client privilege."

"Then why do you do this job, if not for the money?"

She smiles. "Because I love it. Didn't I say I was generous?"

"Venom junkie," Chan says in a resigned tone.

"I'm semi-immune, actually," Hyunji corrects. "And I'm not sugarcoating it. I love helping people. I make new blood all the time, so it's not really a loss for me. And even when my clients aren't as wealthy as you seem to be, I still get to have new experiences and try new things. I'm a foreigner, y'know. It's hard to make friends in South Korea." She grins as she leans forward on the table, looking Chan very pointedly up and down. "Also, not to be crass, but getting my blood sucked is so fucking hot. It gets me going every single time."

Chan looks at her, face drawn in surprise but in a different way than before. He’s so hard to read, too practiced and trained at impassivity, but he isn’t leaning away from her, so it's possible she hasn’t made any errors so large she couldn't correct them later in the night. He'd wanted her to be genuine? Well, this is as genuine as she can get.

Seohyeon returns then, carrying Hyunji's meal and a pitcher of water to refill her glass.

"Leave the pitcher, Seohyeon," Chan says, eyes still fixed on Hyunji. "I don't want to bother you too much. We'll be a while."

Hyunji allows a cheshire grin to overtake her features. She picks up her fork and pops a kumquat into her mouth with obvious glee, relishing the way Chan watches the slide of it all the way down her dark, exposed throat.

They continue their conversation as Hyunji finishes eating. He's not as closed off as he was initially, and Hyunji finds that he's a fairly good conversationalist. His voice is calm and rich, and when he's not trying to fit into the role of "mysterious vampire" he's fairly straightforward about his account of events and memories. As a plus, he seems genuinely interested in her life, or at least the limited parts she tells him. He keeps eye contact with her and asks clarifying questions. When she politely declines to elaborate, he doesn't pry. It's a pleasant change of pace from her usual first meetings, and she has a feeling it is for him too, if his body language is anything to judge by.

The topics stray away from the topic of their meeting, talking more about the facts of their lives and relations, but the charged environment from Hyunji's declaration doesn't dissipate. If anything, it only gets stronger as the night wears on, and Hyunji notices Chan become a bit twitchier, glancing more often at the door behind Hyunji, or at the watch on his wrist. As soon as she’s finished the last bite of her food, Seohyeon reappears, summoned by that elusive button once again. She's already holding the check in hand, and Chan signs it without even looking at it and hands it back to her.

"Shall we go?" he asks. Hyunji nods.

"Thank you very much, Seohyeon. You were great tonight as always."

Seohyun bows politely, but when her eyes meet Hyunji's, she winks. It catches Hyunji off-guard, but quickly enough she's able to return with a genuine smile and a bow of her own. Seohyeon must be the attendant who always serves Chan at meetings like this. It's nice to know that she doesn't think less of Hyunji for being here, or perhaps that she's even rooting for Hyunji to catch him for good. From her high spirits, Chan must also be a good tipper, which is a point in his favor. She finds that she really is starting to like the guy. She already suspected he was decent enough for paying his donors well, but she's pleasantly surprised to find he seems to be an all-around stand-up guy, which is good. Hyunji doesn't like to overstate her importance to her clients, but she does sometimes have qualms about aiding in the continued existence of assholes.

Hyunji gets up, puts her coat back on, and grabs her purse. Chan extends his elbow to her, and she wraps her hand around his arm, jolting a bit when she feels the breadth of muscle hidden under his suit jacket. He leads her out of the room and out to the front, where he calls the valet to bring his car around.

"No driver?" she asks, half-joking, but all Chan says is, "He has the night off."

Money money. It's even more impressive than the private seating.

The drive is short but quiet. Hyunji lets the water settle in her stomach and lets Chan focus on driving. She isn't trying too hard to memorize the route. She doubts he's going to take her to some wizened alley and drink her dry. And if he does, well, at least she’s had a good night before she goes.

They arrive at an upscale hotel after only a few minutes. The car is valeted again, and she once again holds on to his elbow as they walk to the front desk and Chan asks for a room. The fact that he didn't set this room up beforehand is even more gratifying to her. It feels like winning. She's going to get dinner and a show. It's her ideal evening.

Chan hands her one the key cards and they go to the elevator. His hand resting on hers is heavy, and not particularly cold. Up close, she can see the pink of his lips and cheeks is not makeup, which means he's nowhere close to starving. He just wanted to have her that bad.

This is what she loves about it, truly. The power over the vamps who dine on her. The juxaposition almost has her feeling heady.

When they get to the room, Hyunji excuses herself immediately to the bathroom, as the water she drank has finally caught up with her. When she's finished, she looks at herself in the mirror as she washes and dries her hands, making sure everything about her is still in place. It's not that she thinks Chan would care, persay. But she's sure he'll get more satisfaction from ruining her himself.

She exits the bathroom and closes the door behind herself, so she's standing before Chan, shoes and coat gone. He's sitting on the bed, and his suit jacket is discarded, giving her a clear view of his broad shoulders and large chest. He eyes her hungrily, looking her up and down with no apology, and Hyunji doesn't even care if he's thirsty for her blood or for her flesh. She'd be happy with either.

Vampires being hot is a part of the gag, true, but that doesn't mean she can't enjoy it while she's here.

"So," she asks, still standing a respectful distance away from him. "Feeling thirsty?"

Chan lets out a little laugh. "Honestly? You have no idea."

A little thrill goes through her at the rasp in his voice.

Still, honorable as he is, he offers her one last out. "If you don't want to do this, I can leave right now. I'll give you your pay and you can stay in the room. I don't expect anything out of you."

"I know," Hyunji says. "And again, I appreciate the out. But I want this. I consent to donating to you tonight."

Chan lets out a long breath and beckons her closer. She follows, walking slowly, and when she meets the bed, she crawls onto it so that she's on her knees in front of him.

"Where would you like me to take from?" he asks.

"Wherever you want," she says. "If you're uncomfortable, you can take from my wrist. But I wore this dress for easy access. Both to my neck and my thigh."

"You really weren't kidding about thinking this is sexy," he says, breathless, like he can't believe it.

"Do you live on planet earth? Everyone thinks vampires are sexy. A lot of people are just also cowards. But I'm not. And I don't think you're going to bleed my dry and leave my husk in this hotel room, are you?"

Chan shakes his head no.

"Then what's to be scared of? Is it a crime to enjoy my job?"

Chan lets out a low breath, almost like a laugh. "You're something else, aren't you?"

"I guess I am." She leans back a little, pulling herself back into her composure. "But as I said, this is meant to be enjoyable for us both. If you'd like to just drink from my wrist and leave, that's completely fine. It's not like I go around fucking all my clients. I'm capable of being professional."

"I feel like we crossed the line from professional a while ago," Chan says. "Which is my fault as much as it's yours."

Good. She was worried she'd been coming on far too strong.

"So what's the plan?" she asks again. "How do you want me?"

Chan's fingers twitched again as he scanned her up and down. "Can I touch you?" he asks.

"Yes."

In an instant, Hyunji is flat on her back, and Chan is above her, boring down on her. Her heart rate goes crazy, seeing those eyes in the shadows, the eyes of a predator. They look electric blue, hypnotic.

"I'm going to hold you right here, and you're not going to look at anyone except me," he says, his voice lower than before. "I'm going to suck your blood. And then I'm going to eat you out." His hands tighten around her wrists, and she sees the veins in his neck pop and oh god, oh god-

He's waiting for an answer, ever the gentleman. She swallows harshly and says. "Be my guest, Mr. Bang."

Chan leans down and connects their lips.

Just like she'd gathered from his hands, he's warm. Over the years, she'd gotten used to the colder body temperature of vampires, about the uncanniness of how they feel against her. She associates it now with being part of the experience, and can look past it, especially when her client is this good-looking. But here it's barely an issue. Their lips press together, and it's almost like kissing a human. As long as she doesn't think about the fact that she can't feel a heartbeat even though he's less than an inch away from her.

He licks into her mouth, and she lets him, opening her mouth wide and swallowing her gasps. Heat is spreading through her, arousal swelling all her blood vessels, and she knows the moment he smells it from how his grip tightens even further, from the growl deep in his throat. His lips trail down from her mouth to her neck, and she leans her head back to expose it more fully. She's sure he can see her heartbeat in her carotid from the way her blood rushes in her ears.

"You smell...so fucking good," he says in between heavy breaths. "Even in the restuarant...you were driving me crazy."

He sucks at Hyunji's neck, and she moans, hands straining as she tries to arch up. One of his hands releases hers and comes to grip her jaw, pushing her head to the side as he zeroes in on her neck. She can hear a deep rumbling in his chest, like a cat gearing up to pounce. She can't see his eyes, but she knows they must be dilated to black pools.

"Last chance to back out," he murmurs, lips millimeters from Hyunji's skin.

"Bite me," she says.

She sucks in a breath as his lips graze her skin. Then he bites down.

Hyunji knows that she's semi-immune to venom. She has the doctor's notes to prove it, and the experience with vampires to believe them. But there might be some truth to Chan saying she's a venom junkie anyway, because the initial bite alone is orgasmic. Her mouth drops open, her body stiffening and arching under him as she sucks in a quick breath. The smell of her own blood fills her senses, the familiar ochre and iron wafting around them hypnotically, and her thoughts zero in on the feeling of Chan pressed to her neck, of his large mouthfuls, the iron grip he has on her, as if she would even dare struggle.

She knows she tastes better when she's aroused, but it also feels better when she's willing. And oh, god is she willing. For a moment it feels like she's never wanted anything more.

Chan drinks greedily, completely at odds with the composure he's been maintaining the whole evening. It's so satisfying she thinks she might just cum again from the way he's pulling at her, the way he obviously wants her so badly it's taking all his self-control not to rip her apart. And what a way to go, really. The epitome of dying happy.

The lightheadedness is only barely setting in when he pulls off her, releasing both her hands and her head. His lips are stained red, and his cheeks are flushed. She can see, even with his blown pupils, how hazy his eyes eyes are. His grip on her wrists hasn't faltered for a second.

"Fuck," he says, but even that is far away. "Are you okay?"

"Never better," she says. "Come here."

She grips his jaw and pulls him down, and he goes easily, connecting their lips in a messy swirl of blood and drool and venom. She can feel the tang of it still as his fangs are still prominent in his mouth. They're large, and she feels the tip of one cut her own lip, blood pooling between her teeth. Chan pulls away with a moan.

"You taste so good," he murmurs, licking his lips, absolutely blood-drunk. "Fuck. Want you so bad."

"And you're fucking gorgeous," she says. "So in-control. You gonna take care of me, Chan? You gonna make me feel good?"

That rumbling starts in his chest again, and Chan is on her again, his full weight pressing down on her, stealing the breath from her lungs. Vampires always weigh more than you think they would, and Chan is heavy with her blood. His skin is burning, almost feverish. It's so monstrous. It's so fucking sexy.

"Gonna eat you out so good," he murmurs against her lips. "Gonna make you scream."

"God, please," she whines. "Please. Want your mouth. Wanna cum so bad."

Chan abandons her lips and shuffles down the bed to the curve of her hips. He doesn't have to push her dress up that far to have access, and he doesn't even bother to actually remove her panties, instead pushing them aside and diving in. His fangs are still extended, and the slick feeling of bone against her labia sends a thrill of fear down her spine. What if he cuts her down there? Will he start drinking from that too? Her juices and blood mixing together for him? The fear only makes it more attractive, and she pushes down into his mouth, wanting more, wanting him deeper. His tongue is so wet, so rough, his fingers on her thighs are gouging holes into her skin, they must be, but she doesn't make him stop, she just heaves in haggard breaths, begs him to keep going.

His tongue swirls around the head of her clit and then takes it into his mouth and sucks. The twine in Hyunji's stomach snaps, eyes rolling back, and her breath pushed harshly out of her lungs in what is, admittedly, closer to a scream than she thought she'd get. Her vision is hazy for a moment, head full of roaring and fog as she recovers from both the blood loss and the intensity of the orgasm. Chan pulls away from her as her body goes lax, and she can hear him breathing in deep lungfuls of air. It doesn't occur to her for another few seconds that he doesn't even need to breathe. It's cute. She loves it when they still have vestigial impulses.

Time is murky for a while. Hyunji doesn't feel Chan get off the bed and step away and is only dimly aware of hands on her neck, something cooling brushed under her skin. Her head is a mess, she doesn't know which way is up. She's no stranger to this feeling, though, even though it's rarely so strong. She just breathes through it, and lets her body do what it must, and slowly, everything begins to settle back into focus.

When she opens her eyes, she's still lying on the bed. There's no one with her, but she can feel eyes on her. After another minute, she feels alright to sit up, and is proud that the dizziness doesn't seem too bad. Apparently, he hadn't taken as much blood as she'd thought.

Chan is sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. He'd been looking out the window before, but his eyes snap over to her when she moves, and in a second he's by her side, arm around her back so he can help her into a sitting position against the headboard.

"How are you feeling?" he asks. His hair has gone astray from it's perfect placement, and his cheeks are still flushed, but his eyes are back to normal now, present and assessing and nearly human in its clear concern.

"I'm fine," she says. It feels like a gross understatement considering what’s just transpired.

"I didn't mean to take so much," he says apologetically. "I didn't think I'd lose control so quickly."

If this is what Chan calls losing control, then Hyunji pales at the thought of what he'd say if she explained some of the encounters she's endured.

"You stopped yourself even before I would've," she assures him. "I'm barely dizzy at all. And my shakiness is just as much from the orgasm as the donation."

"You're sure?" he asks. The 180-degree shift from his earlier persona is as surprising as it is pleasant. His concern is adorable, and it seems so genuine. She finds herself smiling genuinely herself.

"I'm sure. I'm completely alright. I should, ah, probably eat something though."

"Yes. Of course."

Chan jumps up to grab the hotel phone and call for someone, and Hyunji takes stock of her body. There's a bandage over her neck and some form of antiseptic has been put on her lip. She can taste the medicinal tang. The area between her legs also feels wiped down where it's now covered with the drapings of her skirt.

Probably to clean up the blood, she thinks, remembering the frenzied state Chan had been in when he went down on her. God, she really was crazy. She hated being treated like fresh meat, but she loved it when they pretended like she was.

As her strength returns, she sits up properly, with her legs curled beside her. Chan goes to the door to get the food when it's delivered, and Hyunji accepts the small platter gratefully.

"I'm surprised the kitchen is still open," she comments.

"This is Josun Palace. The kitchen is always open."

Hyunji shrugs and eats her offered food. Chan still seems anxious about her state, but as she converses with him nonchalantly, he seems to believe in her good health, and the nervous energy fades.

Finally, after Hyunji has again finished her food and water, Chan says, "I should be off."

The disappointment hits Hyunji like a freight train. Maybe she'd been imagining it, but she thought that this had been going well. She had good blood and a good body, and he'd seemed to think her pleasant enough. She's old enough now that she shouldn't still be surprised when she reads vampires incorrectly, but this one stings, not just for the loss of a job, but for the loss of Chan, who she'd started to genuinely like at some point during the evening.

"If you must," she said, trying not to sound too put out. "I know you must be busy."

Chan looks a little torn. "Would you prefer I stayed?"

"I don't expect you to do things you're not comfortable with," Hyunji parroted. "If you've finished with me, you have every right to go."

"Hyunji, I didn't mean..." Chan sighs, takes a breath. "I just don't want you to feel as though you're trapped here with me. You've done your job as well. You can ask me to leave at any time."

"I'm not trapped with you. Like I said, I do this because I like it. And I know you're not going to hurt me, unless you're playing a really long game." Hyunji looks him right in the eyes when she says. "You're really nice, Chan. Don't tell my regulars back home, but this has been my best night, maybe ever. I won't hold you here, because you don't owe me anything, but I'm not uncomfortable with you at all."

Chan examines her closely, perhaps to divine if she's lying or not, but Hyunji means what she said. It might be one of the easiest jobs of her entire life, and one of her best hook-ups. No part of her feels like a cornered animal.

"I'll stay until you sleep," Chan offers. "So I can make sure you're okay."

"And then I'll never see you again?"

On this topic, Chan doesn't budge. "We'll see."

Well, if it's the best she's going to get, she'll take it. She sets the tray aside and gets up to use the bathroom, pleased to find her feet aren't the least bit wobbly. She doesn't wash her makeup off, but she does take her contacts out and change out of her dress into one of the hanging gowns by the shower. She'd actually wash herself clean if it wasn't so much effort.

Chan is sitting on the bed when she comes back out, and she's pleased to see he doesn't move as she approaches, just scoots away so she can climb back in under the covers and curl up. Gentle hands come to pull at her chin, exposing the bite in her flesh.

"It doesn't hurt," she murmurs. "And I don't scar easy."

"Junkie," he says, but this time it's affectionate instead of accusatory.

"I’m a professional," she rebuffs, eyes drifting closed. She falls asleep with his thumb still caressing her cheek.

Hyunji wakes up the next morning to find sunlight coming from the bottom of the blinds and Chan nowhere to be found. She groans as she wakes up and identifies the throb in her neck as the minimal venom effect finally wears off, leaving only the pain of the puncture.

She stumbles to the bathroom to remove her makeup and shower and drags back on the same dress and shoes she had the day before. There's a good chance the workers downstairs won't recognize her, and anyway, she's long past feeling shame for reappearing in the same clothes she'd left in. Everyone's done it, and she's not embarrassed of her slutty tendencies when they're so much of a part of her by now.

On the table next to her purse is a wad of cash. She can't begin to estimate how much. It was one of the things they hadn't discussed beforehand, was exactly how much she'd be paid. She assumed something approaching the going rate for her agency, but this appears to be much more. Tucked under the rubber band at the top of the stack is a note from Chan that says, Drink water when you wake up. You were shivering in your sleep.

Cute. Cullen-level creepy, but still cute. Hyunji puts the cash in her purse, checks the room over again, and leaves.

It isn't until the uber drops her off at her home and she's changed into comfortable clothes that she gets a call from Kimiya at the agency again. She runs through a similar debrief as the other girls before had given, that Chan was cordial and polite, that he took her blood and paid her well, and she has nothing more to say on the matter. Kimiya seems frustrated again, but promises to e-mail over the paperwork for their records and tells her to look after her heath. When Hyunji hangs up the phone, she sets it down and folds herself into her living room couch.

Chan hadn't given her his phone number, or any other means of contacting him. She supposes she could easily look him up, but that's against the rules of her contract, and at any rate, it's best not to go looking for vampires when they don't want to be found. Hyunji knows that at least well enough.

"Another notch on his belt," she says to herself. "It's what I expected going in."

She tells herself the lingering disappointment she's feeling is just the venom still in her system and goes to the kitchen to make herself breakfast.

Hyunji gets caught up in her life in the following days. She has "kind of" a job that she "kind of" has to go to, and "kind of" meetings that she "kind of" has to attend. It's nothing serious, and mostly for appearances, but she has nothing better to do with her time, so she goes anyway. By the middle of the week, her night with Chan is at the back of her mind, filed away with all her other patrons.

It doesn't exactly leave her, though. She wishes it would, because it's getting kind of embarrassing, but for some reason the feelings are hard to shake. Maybe it was because she liked Chan, not just as a respectful client, but as a person. Under different circumstances, she thought they would have gotten along well. That's where the loss might be coming from, in truth, not of him as a client, but him as a potential friend.

But vampires don't keep humans around like that. At least, not outside cheesy romance novels and dramas. They stick to their own, and humans stick to their own. Hyunji knows that. Which means she's got to get a grip.

'Getting a grip' lasts two weeks, when Kimiya gives her another call late Thursday morning. This is in line with the usual timeframe. Hyunji doesn't take any medications she needs to detox from, so she's a prime candidate for people who need last-minute donations. The minimum time between two donations is two weeks, so this is the earliest that Hyunji could potentially take any requests.

"Hello, Kimiya," she says, answering the phone cheerfully. "What do you need?"

"I have news," Kimiya says, deviating from the script. Hyunji stops short.

"Oh?"

"Bang Chan wants to request you again."

Hyunji's heart leaps into her throat. "He does?"

"Yes. He wouldn't give much more information than that, but he did specify that this would be in a more casual setting, and that he did not anticipate feeding from you at this time. Of course, this means you also wouldn't be paid for attending the meeting."

Hyunji has a feeling that whether she gave blood had nothing to do with her potential financial gain.

"I'll do it," Hyunji says. "When's the meeting?"

"Tomorrow, Friday, at eight pm. I'll send you the address."

"Perfect." She’s sure she can’t keep the excitement out of her voice. "Thank you, Kimiya."

"Of course," Kimiya says. Then, "What did you do with him? He and his coven have been running through our girls like water."

Hyunji presses a finger against her neck, relishing the feel of the blood rushing under her skin. "Oh, you know. The best strategy is just to have fun and be yourself.”

[starcurtain]

Ratiorine Fics I Want to Read

1) Modern AU: When Veritas Ratio discovers a beautiful businessman poised to jump from the roof of his apartment building, he does something he's never done half as seriously before: makes a bet. One month--in just one month, he will find this "Aventurine" a reason to keep living. The terms: 30 days, anything goes, whatever it takes to make some kind of meaning out of a miserable existence. If Ratio loses, a brilliant-eyed gambler will disappear from the world forever. If Aventurine loses... well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. (Of course, neither of them anticipated that Ratio would end up becoming Aventurine's reason to live--but there's something to be said for non-zero-sum games.)

2) "I'm real sorry to bother you, mister, but I think I'm lost?" Aventurine is pretty sure he's dreaming. Pretty sure he's been pulled back to the hellscape known as Penacony. Pretty sure the Lady Emanator might need to come back and take another swing at him, to burn out the last hold of the Harmony for real this time. Because those are the only logical explanations for why Aventurine is currently locking eyes with his own younger self, standing very confused in the middle of his trussed up Pier Point condo, far from the Family's shadow. (Or: That one where a blessing from Gaiathra temporarily sends the young Kakavasha out of harm's way--straight into the care of his future self. Aventurine isn't the ideal person to care for a child, but hells if he's going to let his younger self experience anything less than the safest and most wonderful weeks of his short, miserable life. The only real problem is, well, how is he possibly going to explain this to Ratio?)

3) A super soft, small fic of Ratio reflecting on all the ways his life has changed since Aventurine came into it--there's noise in his apartment now, and a photo on his desk in the office; there's troublesome snacks to pet sit and someone keeps sneaking inappropriate jokes into his lecture transcripts. There's a sounding board to test his lesson topics on, and a peacock on his cellphone lock screen because he's developed a newfound fondness for the color. There's a go-between nowadays when the ravenous investors come sniffing after the results of his research, and unlabeled packages containing exotic bath salts from star systems even Ratio has never heard of... But most beloved of all: the sense of soundness and symmetry, of something unexpected settling perfectly into his hold, at last.

4) Bodyswap AU: Ratio and Aventurine end up on a mission that goes wrong in every sense of the word (aeons, it's always aeons). They're separated with probably half the known universe between them, stranded on unrecorded planets without credits or technology, and--most bizarrely have all--have definitely swapped bodies. Cool. Cool. What the fuck. Aventurine is honestly tempted to say he might be coming out ahead in this whole drama--he's ripped and tall now--until he discovers that in Ratio's body, he doesn't have his luck. Meanwhile, Ratio is discovering just how much harder life is for Signonians, and coming to truly appreciate how strong of a person Aventurine really is. Somehow, they've got to make it back from half way across the universe, accomplish their mission, and get their own bodies back. Please?

5) A collection of complaint logs very important internal IPC records:

Complaints received on the dangerous behavior of new Stoneheart "Aventurine of Stratagems"

Complaints received on the hostile work environment created by Intelligentsia Guild Consultant Dr. Veritas Ratio

Request for transfer

Request for transfer

Request for transfer

Proposal (Joking) to assign Stoneheart Aventurine to joint mission with Intelligentsia Guild Consultant Dr. V. R.

Request for transfer

Request for transfer

Proposal (No Longer Joking) to assign Stoneheart Aventurine to joint mission with IG Consultant Dr. V. R.

Joint Mission Report, Status: Complete, three days before projected date, Casualties: 0, Complaints: 0

Note from Clerk #157B to Clerk #162S, on digital post-it: "Are you seeing this shit?"

Mission Report, Status: Complete, two days behind schedule, Complaints: 1 - "Please don't subject me to the drivel of untrained imbeciles again. If you're going to send someone from outside the Technology Department, at least provide a competent strategist. The same one from last time, preferably."

Mission Report, Status: Complete, Casualties: 1, Complaints: 1 - "Just send Ratio next time, okay?"

Joint Mission Report, Status: Complete

Complaint received on the questionable conduct of Stoneheart Aventurine: "Why did my boss send me to buy bath bombs? Who are these for?"

Joint Mission Report, Status: Complete

Complaint received on the biased behavior of IG Consultant Dr. V. R.: "Why does boss get called 'dear gambler' while the rest of us are 'fool'?"

Penacony Joint Mission Report, Status: Complete

Notice of Hiatus from Intelligentsia Guild Activities and Sabbatical from Lecturing, Reason Given: None

Request for Paid Leave, to: Diamond, cc: Jade, bcc: Topaz, Reason Given: Elopement 💖

6) Maybe it's not a sensitive thing to ask. Maybe some stories are better left in the past. But Veritas Ratio has never been able to curb his desire to know--nor his desire to right the wrongs the world with that knowledge. Laid bare, pale against the lip of the tub, with nothing but the rippling of the bathwater to accompany him, Aventurine tells the story of each of his scars. Some marks cannot be washed away. But some--with time, with touch--can heal.

[amphitriteswife]

💚marry me!💜

For @rorlokiswifey

Sigyn mentioned in this post is from @mizz-sea-nymph

Lil angsty but it gonna be okii

Tagging: @praisethesuuun @nicasdreamer @swallowtail-lotus @tinyy-tea-cup @jonquilclegane

Walking up the steps of Valhalla you tried your best to ignore the Nordic god floating above you. He had been pestering you for some years now. Why? Because he proposed, after he only knew you for 1 month. His words were that he could already sense you were the one. Ofcourse that was a lie and he immediately went to the fates to see if you would be his partner. Typical of Loki. ‘Comeeee ooonnnnn~’ Loki whined at you, still floating and following you even if he was supposed to attend the meeting with the other gods. You ignored his whining and finished walking the steps, entering the green house. He just sulked and closed his eyes, murmuring to himself.

In the green house you searched for some flowers you had to attend to on request of Idunn, who also needed to attend the meeting that Loki skipped. Wondering why you couldn’t hear the exaggerated whines and complaints of the trickster god you turned to find him outside the house still floating and murmuring with his eyes closed, he was floating with his face turned to the sky and his hands behind his head. His hair messy because of all the turning and moving. However, he wasn’t looking at where ye was floating and he was getting closer and closer to the glass. As a sign to hopefully make him aware of what he was doing, you ticked on the glass. But he was too caught up in his childish sulking to realize and then bumped his head into the glass which resulted in him falling to the ground on his back with a loud ‘Thump’ and a breathy but screeching ‘OUCH!’

This made you burst out laughing. It’s such a Loki thing to do that would never happen to anyone else which only made it even funnier. ‘H-HEY! IT’S NOT FUNNY! DON’T LAUGH AT YOUR FIANCE!’ Loki spurted out, embarrassment mixed with irritation and a pinch of humiliation. He quickly got up and clenched his hands when you still laughed at him, feeling more humiliated now but also kind of relieved he was able to make you laugh after you ignored him. ‘I’m not your fiancé, Loki.’ You told him a clearly. You hadn’t even accepted his proposal. Not that you would if you’ll be honest, but you’re not going to tell him that. Loki seemed a bit disheartened by your answer. It was no surprise that he really wanted to be with you, but he hated getting rejected like this. It hurt. And hurt is not something he experienced at often which only confused him and the way he should handle his feelings.

‘…why not, Siggy?’ He asked you a little more seriously now, trying to mask his disheartened and difficult acceptance. He isn’t one to take no for an answer and would push until he gets what he wants. That’s how he is and always had been. Though despite the mixed feelings of being married to him you couldn’t deny that the nickname he gave you was cute. ‘Well we don’t know each other that well, and you proposed to me 1 months after we knew each other. It’s all just so fast.’ Loki’s expression turned a little solemn at your words, but at the same time it also made him thought for a moment. Is he really pushing to hard? But he’s certain you’re the only one for him? Are you going to reject him? No! No way! It’ll be humiliating. Perhaps he should just play it as a long lasting prank… but it’s no secret that he does love you though. The scenarios in his head, the way he wanted to know more about you. He played it off as a crush before. But it’s so much more than that.

You couldn’t help but feel a little bad for saying that. He looked so sad… ‘come here.’ You said opening your arms for a hug, this seemed to make him feel a little better as he walked over to you and wrapped his arms around your middle, his head was on your shoulder and he seemed to still be deep in thought. Even though his body was bent because of the hug, you could see his muscular shoulder a little slumped down. It was kind of amusing that he assumed you didn’t like him just because you refused the proposal. It didn’t mean you didn’t love him, just that you didn’t want to marry. ‘You do realize that i’d rather be your girlfriend first than actually marrying right away right?’ You asked him patting his back, this made him a bit stunned… you wanted to his girlfriend…you. Wanted to be his. His girlfriend. GIRLFRIEND?!!! His expression turned into one of happiness and excitement, but before he could say anything he choked on his own spit which caused you to laugh.

‘So…you’re my girlfriend now?’ Loki asked you, seemingly still needing time to process it. He did have a smile on his face and hugged you tightly. He seemed very happy, his cheeks slightly red and he seemed a little flustered. ‘Well, yeah! You’re cool with that?’ You asked him patting his back as he hugged you even more and placed a kiss on your cheek. ‘YIPPEE’

•

•

•

~

Thank you for reading! 🩵🤍

[neverpathia]

i got bored

so have a little parahero thing i'm spontaneously coming up with on tumblr to pull me out of writer's block

-- -- -- -- --

"Seriously?"

The Paranoid was seriously starting to regret becoming the Long Quiet's resident healer. Not that he'd really had a choice at all, mind you, given how he was the only one that was even half-competent with medicines and the like.

Fortunately, the Hero was one of the better patients. Quite frequent—where did he even find all the time and space to go around adventuring?—but still cooperative enough nonetheless. Besides, ever since the Decider left, they'd had plenty of time together. They were quite close now. He liked it.

If he had one complaint about Hero, it would be...never mind. Paranoid urged himself to focus on the task at hand. Please.

Hero sat upright on the edge of his bed and leaned forward, facing Paranoid and not helping his cause.

"Yeah. I'd like to say otherwise, but..." Hero sighed. "Seriously."

Hero had brought the Cheated with him on his latest Hero-ic expedition. The voice of the Cheated. Of all the voices here, did he really have to bring the most reckless? And the most prone to injury? And the one that took the longest to heal?

Paranoid sat down next to Hero. Hero promptly averted his eyes, but he couldn't hide his grin.

"Great," Paranoid rolled his eyes, though he couldn't help but smile a little. "So now I can enjoy even more work than usual."

He glanced at the bed next to Hero's, which was occupied by a sorry mass of bandages. A sorry, spiteful, seething mass of bandages that happened to be vaguely Cheated-shaped.

Yeah, the Cheated was definitely not happy.

Hero shrugged. "Sorry, Para."

"Not that this hasn't happened before," muttered Paranoid. "Does he have any common sense at all? Getting hurt this much, I swear Cheated runs on pure spite."

"Para, you run on pure anxiety."

"Yeah, it's true, but at least it's efficient. Meanwhile, you run on pure righteousness..."

"Like a true hero, right?"

"...and then you make horrible decisions. But yes, very heroic of you."

Hero blinked. "They weren't all horrible!"

"Well, okay, you also made a lot of good ones. I can't deny that, so fine."

Hero proceeded to break into the most sunshiny possible expression ever. Paranoid rolled his eyes, and tried to ignore the fact that he felt like he was being melted all warm and fuzzy.

"They weren't all horrible," said Paranoid. "They were just mostly horrible."

Hero laughed, but it faded out when Paranoid abruptly froze in place.

"Para?"

No response.

"Paranoid?"

The other voice began to tremble a little, and there seemed to be something tightening inside him. Fear. Panic.

Hero was on high alert now. "Are you- Are you okay? Is it coming again?"

"Hero." Paranoid buried his face in his hands.

Paranoid released a little nervous laugh into his palms. For some reason, he'd lately developed some habit of mad-laughing when he was extremely scared, but then again, he was always scared. Still, that might not be a good sign.

"Hey." Hero inched closer to Paranoid and put an arm around his shoulders. He tried for a friendly smile. "Don't worry, you'll fix him right up. This wouldn't be the first time."

"Yes, I know I'm good at my job, thank you very much—" Paranoid cut off his words, slumped against Hero, and paused for a bit before speaking. "No. It's not about that."

They simply sat like that, shoulder to shoulder, Paranoid's head resting against the strong, carved lines of Hero's neck.

"Are you tired?" When Hero spoke, his tone was kind but cautious, as if he were trying to search for the right words but couldn't tell which ones they were. Still, something small in Paranoid relaxed.

"Yes," he admitted. Soft. Barely a whisper, barely spoken at all.

"Do you...want to say what you're thinking about?"

"I- Okay, what about you? Doesn't it tire you out, having to hear what I have to say all the time again and again and again and again—"

"No." Hero took Paranoid's hand and gave it a firm squeeze. "Maybe it's not okay, but I care for you. And I want to know. Just tell me, if you want to."

Paranoid laced his fingers between Hero's. His hand was clammy and a little shaky.

"I'm just...Look at Cheated. And you, you put yourself in danger all the time, always doing the right thing, these wounds, what if it happens to you? What if you're injured and I can't bring you back or you hurt so much and I have to do something about it and I can't or-or-or-or-or—"

Before he could say any more, Hero pulled him into a hug.

"I'll be careful. I promise."

[inkdemonapologist]

are you excited for the big role sammy's going to play in Cage?? im apprehensive... i love him a feral amount and i was real disappointed with his 2 seconds of screentime in BatDR

also just saying ur sammy drawings give me life he looks wonderful in hats

brought to u by ⭐️ anon

Hehehe aw thank you!! :D

There’s a lot of things in Dark Revival I ended up disappointed about, but despite my love of Sammy Lawrence, Sammy barely appearing was not really one of them. At the time, I’d commented to friends that the complete lack of Sammy mentions in the hype leading up to BatDR meant he was either very important or had only a cameo appearance, and I was actually pretty delighted about the Cyclebreaker cameo – it’s a moment that takes him startlingly seriously, that wasn’t just him quoting one of his four catch phrases; it’s... a kind of moment we haven’t seen from Sammy before. The part where he gets shot was like, where my expectations were, so the cyclebreaker thing was a pleasant surprise.

But like, ever since The Cage was announced… we knew Sammy kind of had to be in it. Like, Henry says “how did WE escape” and it’s set in the SPECIFIC place and time that Sammy also is; literally the only reason for Sammy to not be a significant character is if the creators actually didn’t want anything to do with him. So I have to admit the announcement that WE CAN CONFIRM that SAMMY WILL PLAY A MAJOR ROLE IN THE CAGE!!!!!!! RESTORED TO HIS CHAPTER 2 CREEPY GLORY! is just…… ugh, it’s hard to articulate why this tweet frustrates me so much.

Like………………….. "he's in it more" is not the only thing people care about, surely! What is he doing? What is his role in all this? What does he even WANT? In a review, "he's back to his chapter 2 creepy glory" would be a powerful recommendation; in a tweet from the creator right after preorders go up, it feels more like, "Hey, remember the thing you wanted? we DEFINITELY did that thing you wanted and we did it SUPER WELL so preorder our game please!!" Give us an intriguing line of dialogue or a hint about what he's doing (opposing you? helping you? uneasy truce? trying to find bendy?) and you wouldn't even need to promise us that he plays a major role; we'd be curious to learn more.

So this reassurance ends up doing the opposite, for me, because I still don't know if the creators even understand what I like about Sammy. The thing is that the circumstances of BatDR (there's a little Bendy running around, the Ink Demon is claimed dead but actually it's not, Wilson is trying to become the Lost Ones' new Big Brother) could've been INCREDIBLY relevant to Sammy -- that's why people wanted him to show up in BatDR, to see what he thinks of these developments and how he would react to them!! So if you're interested in Sammy, the character, then it would not be hard to hint at like, what his deal is – "Sammy knows the Ink Demon is out there somewhere and Henry is the key to finding him" or "after the disappearance of his Lord he's become a desperate man who's as much an obstacle as an ally" or even "Sammy was defiant when he went into the Pit -- what will Henry find when he encounters him now?" or w/e -- simply insisting HES LIKE HE WAS IN CHAPTER TWO, THE ONE YOU GUYS LIKE instead of being able to think of a single character-based hint that we might find compelling is, tbh, rather un-reassuring!!!

My complaint about Twisted Alice’s role in BatDR was that ultimately, it felt like they were just trying to capture the vibes that Twisted Alice had in BatIM instead of really exploring what that character would be doing HERE, in THIS situation. Nothing she’s doing really makes sense, and what IS there seems to have forgotten what her actual deal is, but she’s doing it with the right flair, so it feels like she’s in-character enough for the scene to be fun. Like an episodic cartoon that just forgets what happened in previous episodes depending on who’s writing this one. So… I think that’s a real risk for Sammy. For the people who just want him to show up and whisper cult-ish things so we can hear his voice more and go HEHEHE ITS HIM, this isn’t really a concern lmao, that will probably happen. I don’t have high hopes that he’ll make sense as a character, but tbf I don’t know that he ever has.

And IDK, its still early, its possible the cage will come out and I'll look up spoilers and be like OMG NM I LOVE WHAT THEY DID WITH HIM. A game that's supposed to be psychological horror could, in theory, be a really fun place for Sammy!! Maybe the people actually writing him will give him more care, haha. It's a little silly for me to be so worked up about the marketing for a game that I am not going to buy b/c I’m still not interested in giving JDS, Inc. my money. AND YET DESPITE IT ALL I STILL… CARE ABOUT SAMMY LAWRENCE LMAO….. I think my main emotion about The Cage is just curiosity, though. I do want to know what they do with him. I’m curious if he’ll play a major part in the story, or if he’s like Henry or Porter in BatDR, with one big scene where he gets a bunch of lines and then runs off. A lot of people really want to see Henry and Sammy team up in this, but I’m not writing off the possibility he’s an antagonist of some kind, so I’m curious which way that’ll go. But I don’t feel like I have any strong expectations, so I guess we’ll see!

[newx-menfan]

NYX #6 Review

*Spoilers!*

Kiddddeeeennn !!!

The issue starts with Kiden dancing in the rain while going to a “Dazzler concert”…(the scene is really GORGEOUS here!!)

Kiden is soliloquizing about people being a trap… (this is what being friends with Laura DOES to YOU lol)

Kamala is basically me at a concert… that was basically how I was when I recently went through security for Charli’s Sweat Tour…😬😂🤣 (I WISH I could be Anole 🤣🤣🤣🤣)

Does Sophie still have her powers when she says “Cuckoo”? (Idk, this plot point admittedly doesn’t make much sense to me…)

While walking through the venue (they should really be getting into the merch shop line-amateurs…), Kamala is worried she’s not taking the “no contact” with her sisters well…and apparently becoming addicted to video games…

Anole is basically eye-fucking everyone at the venue (GET IT VICTOR 🤣🤣!)

We get a sleight of hand from the writers- it’s NOT actually Kiden, but LOCAL, that Laura smells and is kind of fixating on! (sorry Kiden…you’re too good for Laura anyway!)

Local then shows up to basically hit on Laura/tell her to “stay out of his way”. (Playing hard to get- copied from the Hellion Playbook!)

The team FINALLY remembers the Mojo plot exists. (I get it… Hellion was WAY MORE exciting…)

Prodigy has of course the RIGHT reaction (“Oh Fuck” indeed!)…

Dante is promptly dent to the merch line while they deal with the baddie (finally- it’s 100% going to sell out of all the good items guys!) and Dante offers Sophie to come with and be in the “normie group”…she promptly declines…

Kiden narrates how Mojo has basically been taking homeless mutants and how she didn’t trust Mr. Friendly (and apparently DOES kind of think Laura is a shit friend too!)

The team springs into action while Sophie feels awkward on her secondary team with Anole (sorry Sophie!), while Local brakes into the sound booth.

Prodigy calls out Local and Co.’s evil plan to insert a subliminal message into the music to use Dazzlers fame to essentially get followers (so…TikTok?😂🤣)

Local argues that it’s the same as what they did at the protest (let’s not rehash that last issue, Local…) and that Mr. Friendly is the only one helping homeless mutants (which is TRUE- even BEFORE this event Xavier and Co. We’re terrible at helping the Morlocks…)

Laura talks sense into Local and Local admits to Laura that if he goes back Mojo, he will kill him…but sadly Mojo has already taken over Local’s body… (🥺)

Mojo works the crowd like a BOSS…while lamenting how generic this evil villain plot is (not your BEST work admittedly, Mojo)…

Kiden busts onto the scene to save the day and beats everyone (GO KIDEN!!) and decides to catch up with Laura…while they just…let Local escap? (But the CONCERT guys!!….Seriously though…I get it…I would probably turn the other cheek if I had TS tixs too lol)

Laura totally up and leaves with Kiden without saying goodbye to the rest of the group (AKA probably hooking up with Kiden😘😘!)

Back to the Local subplot…we see Mojo has apparently adopted parasocialism… (but has he read Mark Fischer???)

Review:

This issue was good- fun. Don’t have a lot of complaints.

I didn’t really LOVE the art- some panels, like the rain were gorgeous…some were a letdown…

Dante is still just kind of awkwardly there…but Anole is slightly better in this issue.

My biggest gripe is how NICE Kiden was to Laura and basically letting her AGAIN back into the fold despite Laura being a shitty friend (I felt similarly irritated with Jubes in X-terminators barely saying anything to Laura basically ignoring her for months) …but I feel like that’s potentially COMING in the NEXT ISSUE!

Theories:

Kiden is working for SOMEBODY… either the new Quiet Council or Mojo…and Laura just got kidnapped…

Her POV sounded way too bitter and Laura randomly disappearing, sounds like we are finally going to see someone TURN on LAURA…

I was kind of wondering if Lil Bro, Tatiana, or any of the others in the group are being held/controlled by Mojo…

It would 100% be HILARIOUS if Kiden, Synch, AND Hellions formed a group of basically “Laura’s EVIL EX’s” 😂🤣😈

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Enhypen's Thoughts on Being an Idol

Okay, now I like to do this reading for Enhypen, same idea as the Ateez one. I will ask what they and dislike about being an idol, for the dislike I will exclude Saesangs, because of course that is a crappy part. I will ask what they learned from the past and what they think of the fans. Here we go.

Disclaimer: If you find your idols perfect and sweet, do not read this, especially Jake's part, some parts of this are not pretty and does not paint them in the best light. When I channel I get some wild messages, it is how it is. I keep it real and post what I get, unless I find it very uncomfortable to post. At the end of the day. I am a girl with cards. Don't take this seriously and no hate towards these people. I don't know them. If you don't mind that they aren't, keep reading lol because there is some interesting stuff here.

Heeseung

What he likes? (Queen of Swords) I am getting his ability to speak and communicate. It is like this is his outlet to express himself. It is like if he wasn't an idol he would be silenced, weird message, but going with it. It is like being an idol has given him more confidence. He is able to learn from others and gather information and hear others out. He is able to gain knowledge through this, interesting, weird, I thought I would get a more creative card here too, but then again, they really don't have much creative freedom, so I get it.

What he dislikes? (4 of Pentacles) Interesting he got this card, because he did get this card a lot for my general readings of him back in August. He doesn't like that he has to preserve or reserve himself. He is kind of constrained. He needs to protect what he has. He can't spend freely, there isn't a lot of wiggle room in his career, lack of freedom. A lot of control when it comes to his career, a bit confining.

What he learned from the past/experienced? (The World) He's like legit just giving me exactly what happened in the past, not really what he learned, like this is about the world tour, he is happy it is completed. I am getting, he learned a lot from it, he was able to put his all in it, his time, his emotions, his passions, and knowledge gained from it, so that is nice.

Thoughts on fans? (6 of Swords) This is interesting, there is troubled waters here. A need to move on from a difficult period. I think he may want fans to move on from all the complaints they have tbh. The 6 of swords is about moving towards positive change, so maybe he sees fans trying to make positive changes for them. But I am getting look onward, there are brighter, calmer days ahead.

Jay

What he likes? (Queen of Pentacles) Well, this card likes to pop up. That he can nurture his career and create his own independence through that. And he can make money out of it. There is a sense of pride in what he has created. Pretty straightforward there.

What he dislikes? (Ace of Swords) Honestly, his ideas being shut down, that they never go anywhere, he has a lot to say and has lots of ideas, and he may share it, but it doesn't go anywhere. I love how easy to read this boy is. To the point and clear, which kind of represent the ace of swords, which is funny. Like if you think of the ace, it is like you have an idea, but it never goes any further than that.

What he learned from the past/experienced? (The Empress) Kind of gives me similar vibes to what I got from Yeosang, but it he knows his creative power more. He knows what he can create. He has planted the seeds of creativity, but not sure it has seen the light of the day. This dude is crazy creative, but we will probably not see that, this is what that gives me. There is something about his Mom here too, like things she has helped or qualities she has, that he has, that has helped him in the past to be where he is as an idol today. Idk what that all means.

Thoughts on fans? (3 of Pentacles) Bruh, this is so matter of fact, where are the emotions boys? I think he believes they work well together, they work as a team, which surprises me, because as a fandom we can be messy. They make a good team effort, this could also do with the effort the fans have to give them rest, but there is a bit of a mess there too, so idk. It is like we work together to build something great. It is like he sees all of us as a team.

Jake

What he likes? (The High Priestess) I am getting that magic, the mystery behind it, and my next thought is what!? He kind of likes to be mysterious, this is weird dude. Bruh, it is like he likes the behind the scene bs, like I have a secret you don't know, what is this? Okay, it is like he likes the mystery of being an idol, like that they have to put a facade on, bruh, this boy is a strange one, he makes me laugh. He likes that we don't know the real him, legit what I am getting, this boy. He is making me laugh here. Boy is a true Scorpio here. I just keep getting that saying I know something you don't know, in that playful manner. I can't stand him sometimes. I say this in a loving manner.

What he dislikes? (Strength) Again, weird card here for a dislike. Omg, I am getting lowkey toxic messages here, I am just going to say it, I am just a girl with cards, no facts, I hear feminine power and women in power. Because in the card there is a woman, with the word strength, it gives me women with strength and power. I just don't get why I got to get this message wtf dude I am looking at the women in the card and she is strong and powerful, and this is a dislike for him, I also got the divine feminine. Ya'll I hate this, remember just channeling, if you don't like this, don't believe me. That simple. Now if you think back to his ideal type reading, because I am being pulled back to that, you may see where that all stems from. Ugh Jake man, I hope what I am getting is completely wrong, because I don't like this, but at the end of the day I try not to take this seriously, it is Tarot, we don't know these people. And as I mentioned, he may need to do some healing. Also, not sure why this is showing up in his dislikes as an idol? What does that have to do with him being an Idol wtf Also, he may not be consciously aware of this as well, so he may not actively put women down, or feel women are inferior, but this innate need to overpower them. I feel this is an inner struggle with him he fully does not understand. I do feel this also stems from childhood. I feel this is something he needs to work on healing. I want to stress do not hate on this dude! I feel this is much more complex than we would know.

What he has learned from the past/experienced? (Knight of Swords) His ability to speak his mind, he has gained confidence in his voice and what he has to say. Now the Knight can be a bit overly confident, a bit overzealous, so he may want to careful with how he uses his words, because they can speak without much thought and say some wild sh**. I am kind of getting, I know the power of my voice.

Thoughts of fans? (2 of Wands) I was kind of scared of what I was going to get here lol This seems fine. He finds them inspiring, attractive, passionate. They fuel him. Probably build his confidence tbh. Ugh, got another weird message. The person in the card is holding a ball of fire, it is giving me he likes us in his grasp, like he likes having a hold on us. This dude needs healing, anyway, yup, there that is, moving on.

Sunghoon

What he likes? (Queen of Wands) I have to shuffle like 4 times before he pulled a card out for me, which barely happens, so maybe there is like a specific thing, he likes, or he doesn't like much. This one confuses me, this QOW's does not feel like his energy, so is this a specific woman, why would that be what he likes? Is this the fans? I am sorry, but every time I am in his energy I am so confused, what I am getting is weird. I'll just go with it, It is like he can stand in his feminine power, why does he like that though? It is like he can be softer as an idol. I can see this as him being able to shine on his own and wanting to inspire others. I am just going to move on, because this makes no sense to me.

What he dislikes? (6 of Wands) How this man makes no sense to me, for real. Sunghoon has always giving me the vibe that he is competitive af so why is this a dislike, omg, I think I get it, he may not like sharing the spotlight with others, holy sh** what did I step into. Because if you look at what he likes, the Queen stands alone, let me find out he a queen, okay girl, let me stop. He wants to shine on his own, not share the spotlight. Now I can say he may dislike people who are egotistical and prideful and wants to steal the spotlight, okay I can say that, because the QOW's doesn't steal the spotlight, they just own it. But I will say what you don't like, can actually trigger what you actually want to be like, but just can't. Well Sunoo is popping in my head, not sure what that is about, but putting that out there, this isn't romantic peeps, just something about him may be what he wants to be like, it is like he stands in his feminine power and is confident, and he can't be that way oh sh** It is like this boy was instilled to be masculine and tough and not be vulnerable, and that is it, no in-between, but I feel he wants to show a softer side.

What has he learned from the past/experienced? (10 of Pentacles) Bruh, what is this? Why are you doing this to me. Is he like the company's darling, does he bring money to them? What is this? Does he have family obligation here, because 10 of Pentacles is about family pride as well. Doing things for the family. This is giving me, hey, go out there and make money for the family vibes. I could be completely wrong here. I am going by vibes and what this card is giving me. But at the same time, don't Korean families do this sh**. Okay, this could also mean he needs to invest in the future, so he chose this career, but with looking at the images on this card, nope, it isn't giving me that vibe.

Thoughts on fans? (The Hanged Man) He seems he can't do much for the fans, his hands are tied, once again, does this have to do with what is going on. This is giving me, this is a difficult situation, there isn't much that can be done vibe here. It is like you got to see things in a different light, he may want fans to do that. Bruh what am I stepping into here. Please Sunoo be a light read.

Sunoo

What he likes? (6 of Cups) It seems he enjoys making memories with the 6 members. Living out his childhood dreams, this may be what he wanted to do as a child. It just seems he is just having fun. This doesn't give me much. This is pretty simple. He seems like a simple person, not in a bad way, he is just not that complicated.

What he dislikes? (3 of Pentacles) This is weird lol He dislikes teamwork, effort, working with others. It is like he enjoys the fun, playful side of it, having a good time, but the not the serious aspect of it. It seems he hates discussing the work aspects of things. you know what I am being drawn to. You know how they do their lives after concerts and Sunoo seems so done, people think he is sad or lonely, I lowkey felt that way sometimes, but he just finds these topics boring af You can say he is tired, but girl, they all are. He just isn't here to discuss topics about work, he wants to have fun. He likes the emotions involved, but not the work itself.

What he learned from the past? (Death) This is kind of dark, not sure I want to go into full details of what I got here, but idols who have passed may have affected him, and I am hearing, I don't want to go that route. Alright, not sitting with that any longer, moving on.

Thoughts on fans? (10 of Cups) Yeah, the first one with cups! He sees Engene as family. You guys fill him with lots of love and support and happiness. It is like ya'll are one big happy family. He's got a lot of love for the fans.

Jungwon Okay my bias, please don't give me anything too dark here, please! Oh god, I am nervous lol

What he likes? (6 of Cups) Another one with the 6 of cups! He likes that he can be youthful and fun. There is something about him that likes to stay young. I have gotten that from him in the past. I am getting, live out my youth, how would being an idol do that though? He also enjoys the memories he can make from being an idol. He is young at heart. I guess being an idol helps with that, okay Jungwon lol

What he dislikes? (8 of Cups) Oh no, having to search for myself came to me, no Jungwon, no! I am going to be real. I don't think he knows who he is outside being an idol. This is something I kind of felt from him in past readings, like does he know himself. 8 of Cups is someone walking away from it all, going on a self-journey, seeking more out of life. But what does this have to do with him being an idol? Oh, the time away, I don't think he likes when they are on hiatus at all. He hates it I hear. He wants to be in front of fans. In the spotlight. Bruh if you think this boy wants a break, you are wrong. Yeah he's tired and overworked, but they all are, all idols are, he doesn't want to step away. He may just have to find himself I hear. He may have to deal with his emotions, and I don't think he wants to do that, so he rather distract himself.

What he has learned from the past/experienced? (4 of Pentacles) It probably has been instilled in him to preserve his career, value it, hold tight to it, to do whatever to keep it. To have a lot of self-control and restrain himself. Bruh this boy holds tight to his image and career. Not surprised at all.

Thought on fans? (9 of Cups) Not surprised he got cups, of course he does, boy got a lot of love for the fans. He appreciates them and adores them. He appreciates every single one of them. I love my bias lol I am getting that he dissociates, because in the card, the man's head is on the plate, but his body is sleeping. I don't know what that means though. Omg, had to look up dissociation and how that correlates, he uses fans to disconnect from whatever anxiety or sadness he has, like a coping strategy, they help him cope, oh wow, that makes sense to be honest, boy is always online. And I always felt that way intuitively. Because boy post a crazy a lot of times, like a lot. I know ya'll want to say it is because he loves the fans, but nah, all members love the fans. He does it for his own reasons. We all got our own reasons for doing things. Aww, I mean I get it, the industry is tough. I want to hug him.

Ni-Ki

What he likes? (The Hanged Man) Weird card for a like. It is like he is learning to see things differently; things being flipped for him. It is like he doesn't have to work hard or put effort into it, like things comes easy for him, this is weird, I don't really get this.

What he dislikes? (10 of Swords) The mental exhaustion, the criticism, the pain. The betrayal, being stabbed in the back. Now ask me what this means? He doesn't like the shady sh** that comes with the industry is what I got. The dark cloud over him, also getting that, he may have a lot of dark and negative thoughts that loom over him as an idol. Yeah, that is a bit dark, but the card is intense, so yeah.

What he has learned from the past/experienced? (The High Priestess) Secrets being kept, things hidden. I just keep getting random messages, but no explanation as to what these mean with him. I am getting, keep things secret, keep things to himself. I am being pulled to the book on the card, he may journal about these secrets, or his real truths about things. Like he can't share how he truly feels, so journal about it type of sh**. Journal about it and then let it go. I mean journaling can do that, so makes sense, it is therapeutic.

Thoughts on fans? (8 of Swords) Oh no...Oh god, what is this? This is not a good card to get for how he feels how about fans. I am getting, you are trapped in your mind. Remember just getting random messages, don't take this as fact. He may have to limit himself and not express himself as much with fans, which makes sense. He has to like tip-toe around his thoughts, like be careful about what he says. This all makes sense to me tbh. Fans are super critical of everything this boy says or does.

Okay, that was wild and long. Hope you enjoyed, remember just a girl with cards lol

[dukeofdelirium]

I will never believe Zu/tara shippers when they say they hate Kata/aang because it's "heteronormative" since one of the main complaints Kata/aang gets from them is that "no 14 year old girl would wanna date a bald boy who's younger and shorter then her" or how Aang gets called a bald lesbian as an insult. Idk man I think Katara ending up with the bad boy with anger issues who is most stereotypically masculine of all the Gaang boys and who she spends most of the story hating for hurting her and her friends (who also personally betrayed her trust when she tried to help him). Idk man I think if these two got together that'd be a lot more heteronormative, especially since they only became friends an ep before the finale started. I think Katara and Aang's relationship has writing issues too (I have a lot of gripes I'm not coming at this as a shipper) but it takes a particular kind of ship brainrot to argue Zuta/ra end game would have made more sense or been a better end game with the canon we are given. And arguing it's somehow less heteronormative to make Zuko get together with Katara. I can't with this fandom.

if either of these two ships fit the definition of heteronormativity, it’s zvtara, not kataang. Aang does not fit the western male character type. He is short, shaves his head, is pacifistic, and quite feminine compared to the other male characters. He gets insulted for doing things that characters deem as “feminine”, like weaving jewelry for one.

the show doesn’t actually support this idea that femininity is bad, but characters like Sokka who have narrow viewpoints early in the story try to ridicule him. toph also makes jabs at Aang’s femininity.

Zvtara shippers argument has never been about heteronormativity. It’s always been “misogyny”. The only reason they’re adopting heteronormativity in their list of vocab words they still don’t know the definitions of is bc most of us kataang shippers on here (tumblr) are gay, bisexual, etc. And because we, as majority lgbt ppl have stated that their ship is heteronormative, they just want to flip that to use against us even when it doesn’t apply.

Kataang simply doesn’t follow a typical m/f ship in terms of writing, characters or how they interact with one another. Which is by and large why it has been so hated by these idiots. They wanna say “muhhh heteronormativity” but in the same breath ridicule Aang’s femininity, say he isn’t masculine enough for her, call him a lesbian etc to undermine the ship. Just as they say “muhhh male gaze” when most kataang shippers are actually women, because most ppl involved in shipping communities and fandoms in general are women.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I only know of a couple of male kataang shippers on here, myself being one of them. Ships and fandoms are very much and have always been a female dominated community. That’s for any fandom or any ship I’ve seen.

Their arguments are ridiculous and make no sense. It’s just like when some zvtara idiot was in my inbox harassing me for being a man and was saying that I’m an incel and that I hate women and want to rape women….. when I’m fucking GAY! Nothing they say makes sense or is canonical, so I’ve long since stopped taking anything they say seriously. It’s just free entertainment at this point.

Full offense but I don’t need a bunch of straight girls to tell me what heteronormativity means 😂

[vickyvicarious]

His attitude to me was the same as that to the attendant; in his sublime self-feeling the difference between myself and attendant seemed to him as nothing. It looks like religious mania, and he will soon think that he himself is God. These infinitesimal distinctions between man and man are too paltry for an Omnipotent Being. How these madmen give themselves away! The real God taketh heed lest a sparrow fall; but the God created from human vanity sees no difference between an eagle and a sparrow. Oh, if men only knew!

Seward: Renfield actually dares to treat me the same as he did the attendant. Who does he think he is, God?

Seward: ....he totally is going to think he's God any minute now. There's no other explanation. After all, sure, the real God cares about sparrows but hello, I'm an eagle. Not all birds are the same to just dismiss like this.

"I am here to do Your bidding, Master. I am Your slave, and You will reward me, for I shall be faithful. I have worshipped You long and afar off. Now that You are near, I await Your commands, and You will not pass me by, will You, dear Master, in Your distribution of good things?" He is a selfish old beggar anyhow. He thinks of the loaves and fishes even when he believes he is in a Real Presence. His manias make a startling combination.

Seward: Hmph! I always knew he was selfish and just wanted things out of people. Even when he thinks he's next to God, he just tries to get things from people. What, are the spiders I give him not enough anymore?

...I joke but seriously. His feelings are hurt and he's lashing out. And also, look at how quick he's jumping to conclusions in doing so. He immediately assumes Renfield is going to think himself God. Later, when that seems proven false by Renfield appealing to some kind of higher presence at the chapel door, Seward doesn't remark on that at all. Instead, he grumbles about his behavior in a very put-out way. He started the entry trying to engage Renfield on the subject of his pets (which Seward generously allows him to keep, some of which Renfield has previously wheedled and pleaded to get from him with lots of deference) and is shut down, so his complaints on this line in particular definitely feel like they're stemming from a sense of rejection. And of course, Renfield running away is a pretty clear 'rejection' also.

It doesn't feel like a coincidence that this entry also includes these lines:

I am weary to-night and low in spirits. I cannot but think of Lucy, and how different things might have been.

Seward is lonely, and in the past he's sought to distract himself from that in work. He's sought social fulfillment of a sort with Renfield. When Renfield rejects him, he sinks into a depressed mood and has to make a very deliberate effort to resist self-medicating. His sleep schedule is all screwed up. And his reason for not indulging isn't even so much out of wanting to be more healthy himself than it is due to this pedestal he's put Lucy on. He doesn't want to associate her with the drugs he wants to take, and since he's been unable to stop thinking about her after this new rejection, he chooses not to take it.

He's a mess.

[lauralot89]

Loveless

I'm late on this because the book was published in 2020, but I only heard about it in the last month when I was reading an article about asexuality in fiction but in case anyone is out of the loop like me let me tell you about this glory

Loveless is a YA novel by Alice Oseman, author of Heartstopper and Solitaire. It tells the story of Georgia Warr, freshman at Durham University, and her realization that while she's in love with the idea of romance, the actuality of a romantic/sexual relationship repulses her.

Alice Oseman herself is aroace, which makes perfect sense because throughout the novel I kept asking myself, "How does she know? How does she know?! How did she get these thoughts out of my head?"

for my fellow ace and/or aro people, let me quote some of the lines that just got me straight in the soul:

"I had a theory that a lot of people's "celebrity crushes" were just faked to fit in."

"I was disgusted by the thought of him near me. Wanting things from me. That wasn't normal, was it?"

"Oh, God, this thing is actually real, it's not just in fanfics and movies. And I'm supposed to be doing it too."

"Did I even know what romantic feelings felt like?"

"He was clearly the sort of person who I should like romantically. Who I could like romantically. He looked like a boyfriend. I loved his personality. I'd loved his personality for years. So I could fall in love with him. With a little bit of effort. Definitely."

"I thought I'd understood what all these romantic things would feel like--butterflies and the spark and just knowing when you liked someone. I'd read about these feelings hundreds of times in books and fanfic. I'd watched way more romcoms than was probably normal for an eighteen-year-old. But now I was starting to wonder whether these things were just made up."

"Straight people don't think shit like that."

"Just because I'd never liked anyone didn't mean I never would. Did it?"

"I thought all the movies were exaggerating, but you're all really out there just craving genitals and embarrassment. This has to be some kind of huge joke."

"How could I feel so sad about giving up these things that I did not actually want?"

"I felt like I was grieving. I was grieving this fake life, a fantasy future that I was never going to live."

"How was it fair that everyone got to feel that except me?"

"I never had any crushes when I was a child. Not any real ones, anyway. Sometimes I confused friendships for them, or just thinking a guy was really cool."

"For a long time, I was just dating and having sex because that's what people did. And I wanted to feel like those people."

"You've been so confused about stuff. You really thought we could be together, because you do love me. Not in a romantic way, but just as strongly."

"Oh. This is an asexual thing. I forgot other people are obsessed with having sex."

seriously the entire time I spent with this book I just kept asking "was this written for me specifically?" because that's exactly how it felt.

It is a gorgeous book that explores that bizarre feeling of not knowing the word for what you are, not even knowing that you are something out of the ordinary because we don't define ourselves by what we lack and we just expect that one day, it'll happen and we'll be like everyone else. That struggle of trying to differentiate between loving someone and being in love with them, and trying to make the former into the latter and hurting everything in the process.

It is so good. 10/10, no complaints

also there's an asshole in the university's queer pride group who doesn't think aces belong and everyone hates him so that's fantastic, aphobes fuck off

in conclusion I highly recommend it

[starryriize]

Hey Queen! Since you like and know stuff about F1 : I'd like to request your opinion on how &Team would be as a racer.

Which sponsor would they have? What kinda outfit would they wear? What would their racing style be like?

P.s. : feel free to include pictures we love men in racingsuits.🙏🏻

how &team would be as… | F1 drivers

〔 author’s note 〕 oh my god. racers…yes. this…yes. this ask actually helped me get my motivation to write up and running :(( pls nonnie ilysm <3

(lowercase intended)

〔laur’s taglist 🏷️〕 @kehnarii @lunicho @rizzkisworld @cherrycolaberry @hyvelxve

fuma - aston martin

i feel like he’d fit so well in formula one. he strikes me as the more experienced driver who teaches the rookies how it’s done. he’d be an aggressive, competitive yet clean racer. you’d never see him deliberately force people off the track, but he’d definitely switch up his speed in order to get first place.

he’d wear typical aston martin race suits but would switch up to his regular style when he enters the paddock for media appearances! very classy style~ i think he’d have a style similar to ej with a “boyfriend” look!

kei - mclaren

i am definitely not being biased when i say that mclaren lowkey has fast cars…anyways i could 100% see him in mclaren. i feel like he’s a bit on the “daredevil” side when racing because he tends to race according to his instincts. he gets competitive when overtaking and curses at drivers who don’t know what they’re doing. i mean…you can’t expect racers to be sunshine and rainbows with each other all the time!

he said usually enters the paddock with his buddy, fuma. even their managers are good friends! they have quite contrasting styles as to what they wear besides the racing suits. kei is more playful and expressive in his appearance. he can be seen in bright colors, patterns, etc. overall, he’s incredibly eye-catching hence why the cameras pan towards him instantly.

ej - mercedes

ej radiates class as a racing driver so it’s obvious he’d be part of mercedes. now mercedes isn’t doing that well this season, so best believe he’s making complaints to the chief engineer. it’s all in good faith that his team can improve, but he knows he’s not going to be in the podium anytime soon.

despite this sad outlook, he does race his hardest against aston martin and pushes the car to its limits. when he enters the paddock, he has a typical “boyfriend” style that includes backwards caps. of course, when he does mercedes events, he’s dressed in a full suit.

nico - red bull

anyone who says that nico isn’t redbull is lying. i mean…the recklessness and the killer instinct is 100% there. he’s so intentional about his racing lines and he separates personal life from his work life. red bull is known for having drivers willing to go above and beyond for the podium and for their team.

his typical style is something you’d see on the runway. the world is practically his runway and it’s obvious in the way he carries himself with the kind of confidence you’d see in movies! most drivers always say they wish they had nico’s fashion sense too!

yuma - ferrari

“you have to be devilishly handsome to be in ferrari” and yuma takes his seriously. he’s a reckless driver, willing to do whatever it takes to get on the podium. does it seem cold? heartless? possibly. but does he get results? hell yes. his driving style is ruthless. he pushes the car to its breaking point and then asks the engineer to improve the speed. he knows when the car is not performing as it should on the straight.

people underestimate him because they think he’s just a pretty face so he loves proving people wrong by getting win after win. when he comes into the paddock, he’s decked out in full “typical celebrity crush” style~

jo - mclaren

jo drives for mclaren because he loves the sport and knows it’s not the car that matters but the driver. he’s been practicing and perfecting his skills just for this moment. his favorite race is the Suzuka circuit because it’s inspiring for him to see all his fans and family at his home race. he doesn’t drive for the fame or the money, rather he drives for himself. it’s more about proving to the world that he’s more than capable of being an f1 champion.

i feel like his outfits would be street style/chic mix because he has the proportions of a model. due to his height, he doesn’t need to do much to stand out (it’s a bonus with his striking visuals)! he can pull off virtually any color scheme so he likes to switch it up and wear outfits to match the vibe of the country he’s in.

taki - ferrari

anyone who can’t see taki at ferrari is probably lying because he fits it perfectly. he has that raw talent to be able to adapt to anything the race brings. bad weather? he’s already asking to switch tires. race restart? he’s already planning who to overtake after the safety car lap. he has that motivation to win at all costs.

i think taki’s style would be similar to nico only because i feel like he looks up to nico, especially when it comes to having fashion sense. he’d look so good in his classic red race suit but when he changes to what he wears in between the race weeks, he’s so much more attractive. he pulls off the “bad boy/leather jacket” style so well!

harua - aston martin

the class? the elegance? the iconic legacy of aston? it’s perfect for harua. i think he’s a careful, calculating driver. he knows how competitive it is but he knows not to be rough on the track. he knows exactly where to best utilize the car’s speed and power which gives him an advantage to overtake drivers who are falling behind.

i feel like him and maki have a cute, out-of-the-box style that leaves everyone speechless. more often than not, he has a seemingly simple outfit, but he adds his personality to it! whether it’s an accessory or it’s the layering of the clothes, everyone loves harua! at events, he’d be more dressed up with a classic black suit, perhaps channeling his inner james bond.

maki - red bull

now you can tell me all you like how he should be on a german team but hear me out: he’s perfect for red bull! i think he’d be a big inspiration to little boys in both Japan and Germany. his racing style is unique in the way he’s patient. he’s competitive but he thinks logically about his next move.

as i said above, i think his style would be similar to harua’s. they’re both creative, but i feel like he’d lean more towards a soft palette. i could see him having a style where he always looks as though he’s going on a date after the race!

pics for reference:

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

I just read a bunch of Owl House Criticism and have to say… a lot does make sense. I still rate the show very high and honestly I blame the pacing for a lot of the issues we DO have with the show. I also think people are taking this way more seriously then they should and some do the complaints feel nitpicky.

One thing a lot of people brought up is Luz’s character and how the first episode showed her casual dismissal of others and their safety occurs. Then there was a few comments on how Vee is right to call her out on running away and other things.

I don’t fully disagree. Luz fucked up big time her first episode where she brought live animals and fireworks to school. It’s just… no. I don’t deny people should have punished her for it. I vote that the Shakespeare play and the cheerleading thing aren’t worth punishment though. Because both are honestly just quirky kid things. She wanted to be cool so she did something she liked to try and impress others. They thought it was creepy and reacted to it. Good reasons for her to be kind of shoved aside by some people. The spiders and snakes though? Yikes.

But to just call her a bad character puts a nasty taste in my mouth because I think she is one that is a good character and whom I think would have been fun to explore. It’s just… she’s kind of a concept that was tried but fell flat.

I think the summer camp thing was handled badly and I would have liked to be explained why they never tried to talk to her about what a reasonable amount of creativity is in her school work. If it turns out they had attempted to do so multiple times but she never listened: the camp is probably a better idea then not. More so given her actions could have gotten her arrested. Honeslty leaning on that idea would have been interesting. Luz being told she had to go to camp or face probation or something would have been an interesting hook.

My friend said she felt therapy would have been better and yeah that’s a good point: but what if they did try and it didn’t work? What if they felt a camp was less expensive ? (Which it probably was.)

I would have liked more evidence that Luz was an outcast. I saw a lot of criticism on this because if you just look at the show face value: Luz does seem like she’s whining about a lot of stuff. Her mom turned out to be like her and only wanted her to not get bullied as Camila did in school. She could have made friends at camp. There’s just so much there that does make Luz seem like a bad person for being upset. And honestly it would be interesting to explore that to, to really pick apart the dramatic ‘me against the world’ mindset of teenagers who see themselves as outcasts. But the show is supposed to be about weirdos and found family.

So: I would actually nix Camila being a nerd. Manny was the nerdy one who loved fantasy, encouraging it in Luz. I would have had him be the one who was more open about Luz’s everything while Camila was more wary and put off. Sure, she could still laugh at the snake skin incident, but I would want her to be less accepting of the other stuff. I said that the first episode reminded me of my mom when I got my diagnosis of autism and she didn’t understand it. I would want to lean in.

Manny and Luz should have been canonly neurodivergent. Camila is neurotypical and she constantly compared her two family members because Manny could mask very well. Luz couldn’t. But I would have Camila struggle to understand that her daughter’s own brand of autism/ADHD is vastly different then her husband’s because it’s so common. I can’t tell you how many time people are like: oh you’re lying about being this cause you don’t act like BLANK.

Camila and Luz then have a conflict which makes it more understandable why Luz is willing to lie to her mother about not being at camp. Because Camila is set up to not understand Luz and possibly she would be pushing her daughter to act ‘normal’ because she doesn’t understand. Again this is inspired by my mom. I have vivid memories of her worrying about appearances and how others think of us, with her pushing me towards things I didn’t like. Some of it was out of concern for me, but there was a huge lack of understanding that drove a wedge between us for a while.

I would then have the idea that Luz is bullied be obvious. Luz would reference it or recall incidents. And I would have them be unpleasent. Being ditched by so called ‘friends’, name calling and mocking. Maybe having her things stolen or random crap dumped in her locker. I would have her be the outcast from the start. I would also address her being a POC person in a small town. Luz could have met Masha or the other two kids: I want a reason why she didn’t connect.

I grew up with almost no friends but people generally didn’t hate me. I got bullied a bit but most of the time I was ignored and happy about it. When I was a kid I was very particular and drove people off due to this. When I made friends I was with other weirdos: some of whom were alone because they were just… I can only call them very weird and slightly disturbing. One of whom was a girl who’d flip on a dime if she liked you or not.

Masha in canon is goth and is there to be the ‘cool goth kid’. I would have had them be dismissive of Liz’s fondness for the Azura series and possibly the type to mock her for liking a ‘gushy girly book’ because take it from this enby: a lot of us go through the phase of shunning anything feminine and romantic to be ‘cool’. I would have a reason why two people who could have totally been friends weren’t.

Luz would be an outcast among outcasts. Just that shade of different.

I want her to have suffered in school. I want her to have to explain that it’s true no one understood her. I want her to be able to look Vee in the face to go: you know nothing. Because Vee only sees a surface and not the full sum of it. Vee who isn’t into Azura and thus gets Masha being: oh you matured cool. I want to hang now. Who goes to Camila who is thankful her baby seems able to mask now.

I want Camila to be able to mistake Vee for her own kid because ‘oh god yes she’s finally normal’. And I want Luz to point this out. I want Luz to point out to Vee the other kids said camp was prison. And that ‘you might have liked it for some reason but can you say I would have? Masha thinks I’m a freak for liking Azura. They told me I was a loser for it.’

I want there to have been a damn good reason more then we got for WHY Luz stayed in the isles.

Not to say I don’t want Luz to feel bad about lying or anything. I just want the whole outcast thing to be more apparent. Luz feeling awful about lying and about resenting her mom who does love her versus the fact she never felt safe in the human realm is an idea worth exploring!!

[adobe-outdesign]

Have you reviewed Arcanine yet? I know you've done the hisuian form, but how about the regular form?

(Hisuian forms over here and here)

For the record, I do prefer the Hisuian forms for both of these guys. I feel like those forms added a bit more flavor to the line, with the theme being much more obvious and having additional details like Hisuian Growlithe's little bangs. I still like the originals, but the regionals added a lot to this line.

Anyway, that said, OG Growlithe is cute. It's mostly just a canine creature that is very loosely based off of a shisa (lion dog), but beyond that the stripes and wild fur always gave this line a bit of a distinct visual identity despite the relatively subtle theme. The orange color is pleasant and is complimented with additional cream fur, and the black stripes pop nicely.

That said, there are some weird visual quirks going on here—namely, the front paws. Seriously, what on earth is going on there?? It's so weird when it has proper back paws and Arcanine has all four paws as well. The ears are also a bit of a weird shape, something that the Hisuian version fixes.

Arcanine is the more distinct of the two, boasting a giant size (who doesn't want to ride a giant fire-breathing dog, really now), an even wilder mane, and more stripes. I like how it looks pretty strong and almost regal, befitting of the shisa concept. The extra spiky mane is also something rarely seen in modern Pokemon, which prefer smooth, easy-to-model shapes for fur instead.

Visually, I think Arcanine also smooths out some of the weirdness of Growlithe, such as the ear shape and the front paws. The way the head fur connects together to form a giant mane looks more natural than Growlithe's singular head tuft, and extra stripes are always a good thing.

My only visual complaint here is that the stripe patterning starts to feel erratic. The stripes on the legs have a triangular downward motion, while the stripes on the haunches are straight and have a forward motion... and then the stripes in the middle have a triangular shape but a backwards motion. It reduces the flow of the design and feels rather random, compared to picking one shape and direction for the markings and sticking with it. (Hisuian Arcanine does not fix this, but the markings are less noticeable due to the shape of its mane.) Otherwise, I do like it for what it is.

Site note: Arcanine's beta version was known as "wing", because the tufts on its legs were originally shaped like wings. This is why its Japanese name is Windie, why the Pokedex mentions it being able to run really fast, and why Hisuian Arcanine has the wing shape present in its front fur. It was mildly interesting, but it didn't really feel like it connected to Arcanine being a fire-type shisa in any meaningful way. Also, it didn't seem to have stripes in this version, which were a much-needed addition that help break the body up a bit.

Arcanine was also intended to be a legendary Pokemon at this point in development. It does kind of give off that vibe, but it probably makes more sense as just a cool normal Pokemon instead.

Anyway, not the most conceptual Pokemon out there, but still memorable enough and enjoyable in their own right even if the regionals are a little bit more thought out.

[snackara]

UaS!Asha’s Character Arc

Please keep in mind this all just personal opinion. Despite what I may say I don’t hate the movie Wish. If I hated it I wouldn’t be making this Rewrite/AU in the first place.

Hello everyone and welcome to my TedTalk. I’ve had this ruminating in my brain for a while, and now that I’m back to writing in Asha’s POV I feel like I need to talk about it.

I’ve said before how I don’t like Asha’s personality and character arc in the movie. There’s nothing wrong with the adorkable leading woman trope in Disney films, it’s just that they’ve done it so much throughout the 2010s and 2020s. So sort of as a joke, I thought “Hey, what if we subverted that trope and made Asha a sword-wielding badass?”. (I blame watching The Mask of Zorro around that time.) And so that’s what I did.

As I began my rewrite and started taking Asha’s character more seriously, I realized there was a lot of potential for a really interesting facet of her character arc. One that I haven’t seen too much in Disney films. Not having to bear your burdens alone, which ties into her arc about trusting people. Let’s dive into it.

Canon Asha and Strong Women

I have a few problems with how the writers went about portraying Asha. As I’ve said before, she has little to no character arc in the movie, and she suffers from it.

Now, it is possible to make a protagonist an audience can root for who doesn’t have a character arc. My favorite example is Cinderella. However, there’s a key difference between her and Asha. Cinderella was in an abusive situation, but remained kind and caring to others. It made the audience root for her and want to see her go to the ball. On the other hand, Asha lives a perfectly content life. Her family isn’t struggling to get by or act abusive to her, and the most people would kill to live in her home of Rosas. She can come across as very annoying and selfish, so you root for her less. It also feels like Asha was meant to have a bigger arc, but in the movie she changes her mind about Magnifico and Rosas in the first twenty minutes. It just makes her feel flat and less compelling.

Something that pops up a few times in the Deleted Scenes of Wish is how they wanted to be her own hero and feel like a stronger protagonist. Hence cutting Starboy (R.I.P). And it really frustrates me for two reasons.

1. There are several instances of Asha’s problems being solved for her or things just happening to her

2. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for help.

I’ll only focus on a couple instances of Asha’s problems being solved for her because this post is long enough. Early in the movie, she has the interview with Magnifico and gets to see the wishes. But it feels unearned. She doesn’t demonstrate any knowledge of magic or qualities that would make her a good fit for the position. She just gives Magnifico a short sob story about her dad and he just lets her see the wishes. If she had shown an unusually high knowledge of magic or a deeper desire to protect the wishes it would have felt more justified. But no, she just bumbles around like an idiot. The second instance in the climax. Asha starts singing “This Wish (Reprise)” before Magnifico stops her. Then Dahlia starts singing, and all the other people in Rosas join in, which starts to break Magnifico’s magic. Asha only sings again during the last verse, which feels really dull and underwhelming. (Which goes for the climax in general). There was nothing stopping her from continuing singing, she was just laying there. Hell, Dahlia gets knocked over once and immediately gets back up to continue. It just doesn’t make sense to me why the person who does the least in taking down the movies villain is the hero, especially after saying you want to make them stronger and more independent.

Going back to Cinderella, a common complaint I hear about her is that she did nothing in the movie and needed the fairy godmother’s help. It boggles my mind, because…how do you expect her to get out of her situation? She has no money and no one to turn to. She’s practically a slave. Without the fairy godmother she would have stayed in an abusive household for the rest of her life. Sometimes in life there’s no other option but to ask for help. It doesn’t make us weaker, quite the opposite in my opinion. This is what the writers of Wish seemed to miss. It’s not an inherently bad thing to have Asha solve all of her problems on her own, but it sort of reinforces this stereotype of “strong women don’t need help from anyone”. Which really sucks, because you can make a good female character who’s strong but still has flaws and needs help. Just look at some of the woman Hayao Miyazaki writes. Someone Disney could learn from in those regards. *cough* Star Wars *cough* Marvel.

There’s quite a bit to fix when it comes to Asha’s arc. It feels at best flat and at worst nonexistent. Which can work, just not for this story. So, how did I go about writing UaS!Asha’s arc? Well first, we need to look at a certain fearless hero and his character arc.

Puss in Boots and Vulnerability

(Who knew the Spanish cat from Shrek would have such a huge influence on my rewrite?)

Okay, now for the stuff I really enjoy. I’ve joked before about how similar UaS!Asha and Puss are, but I think there really is something to be said when it comes to their arcs. A smaller part of Puss’ arc in The Last Wish that I wanted to expand upon in this rewrite is vulnerability. There are a few scenes in particular that highlight what I’m talking about. Spoilers ahead of you haven’t seen The Last Wish.

In the opening song of the film Puss sings about how he’s "Never been touched by a blade". Then in the scene where Kitty shaves him, it's shown as a moment of vulnerability as he's asking for her help, and she uses a blade to cut the beard. While the first encounter with Death is definitely the intention for that line, you can also interpret it as he's never allowed himself to be vulnerable on that level before. It’s a nice scene and from that moment of vulnerability Puss gains something: the gatito blade, which saves him in his final fight against Death.

The next scene is obviously the panic attack scene. This one is a little different, since Puss has no choice in how vulnerable he is in the moment. But it does lead to Puss opening up to Perrito about his fear of death and and how he regrets leaving Kitty at the altering Santa Caloma. Kitty happens to overhear this and reconsiders her view of Puss. It also results this exchange, which I think perfectly encapsulates Asha’s mindset in Upon a Star:

In Puss’ mind, he has to be fearless no matter what. He’s a legendary hero, he can’t afford to be vulnerable.

The last scene I feel is worth going over is the tree scene. In this scene Puss apologizes for leaving Kitty at the alter and admits he was afraid that day. And she forgives him, admitting she didn’t come to the wedding either. Through this moment Puss is able to mend his relationship with Kitty and get that day off his chest.

The main takeaway from these scenes (moreso the panic attack scene the the others) is that it’s okay to be afraid or vulnerable, as long as you can get back up and move forward. This is especially true in the final fight with Death. Puss is still afraid and even falters, but pushes past it. And in the other two scenes, it ultimately helped him to open up. This is what I mainly wanted for Asha’s arc. Speaking of which, let’s take a look at her. She is the main subject of this post.

How Does UaS!Asha Tie In?

I’ll try to spoil as little as I can here. Like I said, my message through Asha’s arc is that you don’t have to bear your burdens alone. Part of why I made her a sword-wielding thief is to emphasis this point.

At first, she seems pretty formidable. She takes down several guards and gets away from the remaining few easily. Later she continues to show her battle prowess and cunning. Until she meets with our antagonists and…well, you can imagine it doesn’t end good. Think back to the first fight with Death in The Last Wish. A couple scenes prior, we see Puss take down several guards and a giant 100x his size easily. So when Death comes in and absolutely wrecks him, even drawing blood, it makes it so much more impactful. It still works without the giant fight, but there’s a lot less weight to it as a result. As well as the scenes I’ve already talked about. That’s the effect I’m trying to achieve with Asha.

It’s also worth noting that she doesn’t mean to call down Earendel. I mean, I don’t think any of the Asha’s meant to, but they were still seeking guidance. In my version of “This Wish” however, Asha is just trying to gain some confidence and makes a wish for good luck. So when there’s suddenly a random glowing kid in front of her insisting on trying to help her, she’s a little frustrated. Because in her eyes, she shouldn’t need help. She’s the Alondra of Rosas! She’s the one who’s supposed to be helping other people. It’s also why she turns away from other people, fearing they’ll think less of her if they realized how vulnerable and insecure she is deep down. Through a new pseudo-sibling relationship with Earendel and a blooming romance with Flazino however, her walls start to finally come down.

Final Thoughts

send help

If you’ve read all the way through to this point, thank you so much! I enjoy talking about how I develop ideas for my creative works a lot. It helps me break down and understand aspects of my work better. The problem at this point in time is spoilers. Like I have a whole backstory for Manuel and Tomás, but talking about it messes up the big reveal later in the main story. Most people will probably have guessed it by then but still.

@rascalentertainments @hopeyarts @chillwildwave @wings-of-sapphire @tumblingdownthefoxden @oh-shtars @annymation @uva124 (+others)

I hope you all enjoyed my rambling :) One day I’ll I more of these, I swear.

[toujokaname]

Mischief / Episode 3

Characters: Kohaku, HiMERU  

"He wants the world to be a place where those who work seriously are properly rewarded. Is there something wrong with thinking that way?"

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[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]

Season: Spring

Location: An Apartment Room

One week later, in a one-room apartment somewhere in Tokyo.

During the rehearsal for the online broadcast collaboration project "Kohaku & HiMERU's Daily Joyful Cohabitation Life," produced by the independent team "Pastel Color."

Kohaku: "It's Kohaku's~♪"

HiMERU: "And HiMERU's~♪"

Kohaku & HiMERU: "Daily joyful cohabitation life~♪"

Kohaku: ...What the heck is this?! This the "thing you wanted to try" that you were so dead serious about, HiMERU-han?!

HiMERU: Do you have any complaints?

That's right—HiMERU has long been yearning to take part in this kind of tepid... no, rather, heartwarming program.

Kohaku: Whaaaa...?

HiMERU: Instead of a grand, large-scale production under the strict management of a major TV network, he wanted to appear on a cozy, independently produced show.

Kohaku: Huhh... Well, it does feel like this whole thing's put together by some tiny studio I ain't never heard of.

They probably figured it was a long shot and had nothin' to lose, so they were over the moon when we actually took 'em up on their offer, given how popular we are now.

HiMERU: To the end, or rather, even now, it seems like they're still in doubt, wondering, "Are we being deceived? Is this a prank?"

Kohaku: We've really come up in the world, huh. We used to be the outcasts of the industry, and now people are practically grovelin' when we take on their jobs.

HiMERU: ES, being a profit-driven organization, tends to look down upon independent business owners and small to medium-sized enterprises that don't typically yield significant profits.

It seems that in this current, ES-dominated "overarching trend," those who may not excel at profit-making but are dedicated to creating quality work are finding it difficult to thrive.

HiMERU: —HiMERU wishes to save those people.

Kohaku: Y... Yeah...?

HiMERU: He wants the world to be a place where those who work seriously are properly rewarded. Is there something wrong with thinking that way?

Kohaku: No, it ain't wrong at all. If anythin', I actually think it's pretty admirable.

But HiMERU-han, were you always this type of kind and gentle character? It's kinda scary, like you've got some hidden agenda or somethin'.

(No, then again, HiMERU-han's always been good to me since day one.)

(Crap. Bein' in Double Face got me too used to seein' the ugly side of humanity. Made me way too paranoid...)

...Just to confirm, HiMERU-han.

HiMERU: Ask away.

Kohaku: You've really got no ulterior motives, right? You took this job outta pure goodwill, just to help out hardworkin' folks, no strings attached?

HiMERU: Yes. To reiterate once more, this is something HiMERU genuinely wished to pursue.

Rather than being controlled by massive corporations, following a predetermined path without question—

To be able to walk forward with one's own feet, collecting things worthy of love with each step...

That's the kind of life "HiMERU" has always longed for.

Kohaku: Hmm... Well, alright. I'll take your word for it.

Kohaku: (Despite how mature HiMERU-han seems, he's got this weirdly childlike side to him.)

(That contradiction, that feeling of unease, is part of what makes him so charmin'.)

(I guess it's just that his eccentricities happened to be exposed once more.)

Kohaku: Besides, I don't much like complainin' once somethin's already set in stone.

I've already taken on the job, so now I've got no choice but to give my all to what's right in front of me, don't I?

HiMERU: How commendable, Oukawa. You may look as cute as a doll, but you're brimming with an odd sense of manliness.

Kohaku: Must be thanks to my older sisters' twisted way of raisin' me...

The eldest of 'em tried to shape me into a proper man, fit to be the next head of the Oukawa family.

But the younger of 'em spoiled me rotten, dressin' me up in girls' clothes and all that.

As an innocent child, I soaked up all of that twisted upbringin' completely—and ended up basically split down the middle.

HiMERU: It's not a split, is it? Rather, your adorable, girlish side and your rowdy, boyish side coexist within you.

It's highly fascinating.

HiMERU: (And... sure enough, you really do remind me of that boy.)

(How did "I" really want to raise him? —My little brother?)

[ ☆ ]

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