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sattlersquarry · 6 months

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the great divide (steve harrington x fem!reader)

Summary: (Post Season 4 AU, the sequel to orange juice) After your miraculous return to the land of the living, you aren't doing well.

Word Count: ~12k

Warnings: 18+ PLEASE!!!! for language, anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. The reader has panic attacks and intrusive thoughts about Not Wanting To Be Alive. If that will be triggering for you please don't read this (read my happier bloom series instead). there's also an allusion to a relapse, slut-shaming, and allusions to sex (although there's no smut, it just gets slightly steamy). this fic is angst + hurt/comfort with an optimistic ending. inspired by noah kahan's music (including this amazing demo on instagram).

a/n: please let me know if i missed any warnings. please don't read this if you think it will be too triggering. the last thing i want is to make someone upset! but writing this was cathartic and helped me work through some things, i think. writing is magical!

🫀🫀🫀

THE GREAT DIVIDE

SOMETIME IN 1987

You aren’t sure how long it’s been since you last saw your friends. It feels like a fucking long time.

You woke up on the ground of the Upside Down, covered in dried blood and terrified at the sight of Vecna towering above you.

He brought you back to life. He wanted to send you back home and use you as a soldier and spy, the same thing he did to Will, Billy, Heather, and countless others.

“If you do this,” Vecna had growled, “You can once again see your family. Your friends. Your beloved Steven. Otherwise…you will die here.”

You refused, not interested in being his lackey. He tried to flay you anyway, but he was weak from the hell Nancy, Steve, and Robin rained down on him, allowing you to escape his clutches.

He stalked you for days, finally catching up to you—but you got the upper hand, using Eddie’s spear to stab him. Repeatedly.

Killing Vecna caused the gates he opened to sew themselves back shut before you could get through. You were glad that your friends no longer had to worry about Vecna and his army of monsters pouring through the four gates, but it meant you were trapped on the wrong side of the universe.

Vecna gone meant the Upside Down could revert back to what it was before he arrived. Now, the sky of the Upside Down was a buttery yellow, and it was much warmer. You saw patches of green grass and flowers starting to grow in various spots around town. But it still felt like a nightmare.

You wander the Upside Down each day with a routine: avoid monsters, forage for food and clean water, and visit the gates to see if any of them reopened. Food and water aren’t as hard to find as you feared, since the world isn’t so much of a poison, desolate nightmare anymore. But the gates stay staunchly shut, much to your chagrin.

You miss your life. You miss Steve. You miss his laugh, his smile, his kisses, his touch. You would do ungodly things to see him again.

You hope he’s okay. Any time you want to give up, you remind yourself that if roles were reversed, Steve would keep fighting to come back to you no matter what.

And, to your pleasant surprise, he does just that.

🫀🫀🫀

AUGUST 1987

It’s been three months since you returned to the land of the living. You’re not taking it well.

Surviving the Upside Down meant constantly being in fight-or-flight, scrambling to find food and clean water while avoiding demo-creature attacks. Without Vecna’s evil influence, the animals weren’t so bloodthirsty—but they still needed to eat.

You were able to avoid them, surviving yourself off disgusting canned food from the Upside Down’s version of the Big Buy and whatever houses you ransacked. It wasn’t very appetizing. It made the meal you were serving up today seem like a 5-star, 5-course delight.

It was neither of those things. It was for a church potluck that your mother had a hand in throwing. Lots of casseroles and carbs. She dragged you along to volunteer in hopes to get you out of the house.

Ever since you left the hospital in May, you’d only ever left the house to go to doctor’s appointments, therapy appointments, and Steve’s place. Your parents wanted to encourage more of a well-rounded life and schedule, and although they’d never admit it, you figured they hoped you’d turn back to your normal self. To the person you were before it all happened.

You think she might have died.

As you plate some macaroni and cornbread for your next patron, you sense eyes on you. You glance over and see two women at a table a few feet away. To your chagrin, they’re gossiping about you.

“I mean, it’s appalling,” an old bat named Shirley hisses. “She claims to have lost her memory after the earthquake and gotten lost, but it’s obvious that she just ran away.”

“Probably thought she was grown up, that she knew better than her parents,” Mildred says with a sniff, adjusting her too-big glasses.

“I can’t believe she left poor Steve Harrington high and dry,” Shirley adds.

Your heart clenches at the fact that these women see you as a villain, as an irresponsible idiot who up and left everyone who loved her out of spite. If they knew the truth…if they knew the nightmare you’d survived…

It only gets worse from there.

“You know what Cynthia told me?” Mildred says. “That her cousin’s roommate’s friend’s brother saw Y/N working a street corner in Manassas. It's just shameful.”

Anger burns through you, hot like hellfire. So, what? You’re not just a flake—you’re a slut to this people now, too? What happened to ‘loving thy neighbor’ and ‘forgiveness’ and all that shit?

“Can I get some more of that?” an elderly man says.

It snaps you back to your task at hand: dishing out food to hungry churchgoers.

“Ah, yeah,” you say. You dump macaroni on his Styrofoam plate. “Sorry. Here you go.”

The man smiles and ambles off. You take a deep breath and try your best to tune out the whispers of the chattering hens.

Your mother must notice the scowl on your face. She makes her way to you, practically floating, as graceful as ever. She’s totally in her element. She deserves a daughter who doesn’t clomp and stumble her way through life. Who doesn’t jump at every loud noise and sleep with a hunting knife under her pillow.

“Doing all right?” your mother asks you, giving you that sympathetic look that you think you might despise by now.

You muster up a smile of your own and nod.

Your mother can’t tell its fake and beams.

“See?” she says. “I knew getting you out of the house would turn that frown upside-down!”

She doesn’t know about the Upside Down. She thinks you got injured in the earthquake, stumbled through the Indiana woodlands, and got found by cops two states over. That you couldn’t remember where you came from due to amnesia, that since they pronounced you dead no one assumed you were the missing girl from Hawkins until your memories came back.

You let her comment slide and fake a smile, figuring it’s better to pretend you’re fine than feel it all.

🫀🫀🫀

That night, you chat with Steve on the phone. He’s gone back to college for the fall semester and you miss him terribly.

He promised he’d come back to Hawkins every other weekend. He knows how hard it’s been for you coming back. Or, he says he knows. Sometimes, you get the idea that he doesn’t really understand.

How could he? Every time he tries to get you to open up about what happened and what you went through, you shut down.

However, when he asks how your day was, you decide to be honest.

“It sucked,” you say. You blow out a huff of air. “These old crones were being total bitches at the church potluck. Apparently, the new conspiracy theory is that I was turning tricks in Virginia.”

“Ugh, I’m so sorry Y/N,” Steve says. For some reason, the sympathy in his voice makes you wince.

“But it’s fine,” you say quickly. “I don’t care what they say about me.”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line.

“It’s okay if you do, you know,” Steve says, speaking slowly and carefully as if he’s worried about setting you off. (For good reason; you’ve been prone to outbursts of anger lately.)

“I know!” you say, defensiveness seeping into your tone. “But I don’t give a shit. Really.”

“Good,” Steve says. But he sounds unconvinced. “You shouldn’t.”

Another pause. It lasts a little too long for your liking. You clear your throat.

“I should probably shower and head to bed,” you say. “It’s been a long day.”

“Yeah, totally,” Steve says. You don’t understand why he sounds almost intrigued by the prospect of your boring nighttime routine until he says, “A shower with you sounds like heaven right now…”

Shit. You’re really not in the mood for phone sex. Even if that’s not what Steve is angling for, just slightly flirty banter doesn’t sound fun to you either.

Steve has been a total gentleman ever since you got back. You’ve kissed a little, but anytime he tries to take it further, you stop him. As much as you longed for him in every sense while in the Upside Down, you don’t feel ready to re-engage in those kinds of activities—like you’ve been shot back to the insecure, unconfident person you were before you started dating Steve.

He respects those boundaries and never, ever presses for more. But you worry he’s getting bored and wants to get back into old habits, possibly evidenced by his shower comment.

You’re a coward. You don’t tell him outright that you’re not in the mood, afraid he’ll have an out-of-character reaction and chew you out for being a prude or a tease.

“Huh?” you say. Steve starts to repeat his salacious comment, but you interrupt with: “Bad…connection…can’t…better…”

You hang up the phone and let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

🫀🫀🫀

OCTOBER 1987

It’s a Thursday in October, and you’re taking a trip for the first time in a long time.

“You have everything you need?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Toothbrush? Extra socks? Lambchop?”

You huff and roll your eyes, crossing your arms like a petulant teenager.

“Mom! I’m an adult. I do not need a stuffed animal.”

“But you packed her, right?”

You mumble out a “Yes” as she pulls up to the parking lot near Steve’s apartment building.

You applied for spring admission at the University of Indiana. Your lovely boyfriend invited you to stay with him for a few days so he could show you around campus for homecoming weekend.

Tonight is the unofficial campus tour with “Tour Guide Steve.” Tomorrow, you’ll help him and his friends put the finishing touches on a homecoming parade float, and Saturday is the big football game.

Before your disappearance and assumed death, your parents were insanely strict about you staying the night with Steve and wouldn’t have allowed it. Now, they’ve mellowed out—but you hate thinking it’s because of some kind of twisted pity.

Steve must have seen your mom’s minivan pull up from his apartment window, because he jogs over to you before you’ve even grabbed your bag from the trunk.

“Hey, babe!” he says with a beaming grin; the picture of exuberance. You can feel his excitement roll off him in waves. You feel like an asshole for matching his energy. Even though you’re excited for time with Steve, you have a pit in your stomach at the thought of being away from home for so many days.

Of course, if you get accepted to U of I, you’ll be away from home for weeks at a time. You try not to think about that.

Steve hugs you tightly, and you hope he can’t sense your apprehension.

He seems not too, still smiling as he gives your mom a quick hug and then offers to carry your duffel bag for you.

You give your mom a hug goodbye, promising to call if you want to get picked up early.

You and Steve wave as your mom drives away. After dropping your bag off at his apartment, Steve takes you on an abridged campus tour that ends at the dining hall. He wants to introduce you to his friends.

He has friends here. Of course he does, you’re glad he does. No one should feel like they don’t have friends, or like their girlfriend is their only friend. But what does it mean that your boyfriend is your only friend lately?

Nancy’s off at Emerson. As for the Hawkins crew, Jonathan’s busy with family stuff, helping Joyce and Hopper renovate their new house. Eddie’s preoccupied with his band, trying to get Corroded Coffin off the ground after a he-was-accused-of-murder hiatus. And Robin’s a student at Roane County Community College, spending her days with marching band and classes and clubs and work.

They’ve started inviting you to things, and sometimes you go. You usually don’t have much fun, distracted with your own anxieties and unable to think of anything interesting to say.

So, the fact that Steve seems to have moved on from everything so easily and has a pack of friends at college makes you feel pathetic, even though it shouldn’t.

At the dining hall, Steve introduces you to his buddies. When Steve lived on-campus last semester, Gus was his roommate. Now Steve’s moved into his own apartment off-campus, but the boys still hang out often and play together on a club basketball team.

Jessica is Gus’ girlfriend. She has a kind smile and compliments your sweater.

The last friend in their clique is Rochelle. She’s tall and slender, like a supermodel. Apparently, she and Jessica grew up together and are good friends.

Everyone greets you happily when Steve introduces you—except Rochelle, who looks you up and down like she’s inspecting you. It makes you uneasy.

You immediately start to dislike her more when she laughs loudly at Steve’s jokes and squeezes his shoulder flirtatiously.

“You are tew much, Harrington,” Rochelle says, flipping her shiny hair over her shoulder.

It makes you feel tense and jealous and angry and sick all at once.

You’re completely content to listen in silence while the others chat, but then Jessica asks where you go to school.

“Oh, um, here, in the spring,” you say. “Uh, hopefully.”

“That’s awesome!” Gus says. “You get the full Hoosiers homecoming experience a whole semester before having to pay tuition.”

You chuckle and smile. Any good feelings you have about this interaction come crashing down when Rochelle asks, “So, like, if you aren’t a student right now, what do you do?”

“She’s working at Sonic,” Steve says. “Saving up money. Right babe?”

You turn to him, face falling. You’re not working. You tried to apply for a job at Sonic and had a panic attack when you saw the gap in your resume from your 15 months in the Upside Down, so you roller-skated your way home to unemployment.

Did you not tell Steve that? You suppose you “forgot” to tell him about that panic episode.

“Uh, actually no,” you say, furrowing your brow. “Not anymore. I’m just taking a semester off.”

Surprise flashes behind Steve’s eyes, but he recovers quickly. He throws an arm around your shoulders and says, “Right, of course.”

The rest of the conversation is mostly you smiling and nodding along to the funny stories and inside jokes the group shares. When you and Steve get back to his place later that evening, you apologize for not updating him on the Sonic situation sooner.

Steve waves away your apology.

“Don’t even worry about it,” he says.

“But I feel bad,” you say, fidgeting with your fingers while you sit next to him on the couch. “I can’t believe I forgot to tell you.”

(You didn’t truly forget. You were embarrassed and didn’t want him to know.)

“These things happen,” Steve says. “I totally get it. For a few months after Vecna and…you, my brain was like scrambled eggs. I’d drink myself to a coma every other night. I definitely didn’t have the sharpest mind.”

You appreciate him for understanding. Except you feel shitty because you’re lying to him about forgetting. It’s a vicious cycle.

The two of you put on a movie, and while you’re lying on the couch with him, you start thinking of something you haven’t done in a long, long time.

You lightly trace your hand up and down the arm that’s wrapped around your middle.

“Hey,” you say quietly. “Would you want to…”

You clear your throat.

“What?” Steve asks.

You aren’t sure how to ask for what you want without sounding wholly desperate and/or pathetic and/or like the horniest bastard alive.

“Go to your room?” you say.

“Sure, if you want, we can go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.”

You laugh lightly.

“No, I mean. You know.”

You wiggle your eyebrows and Steve’s jaw drops. Mouth agape, like a goldfish, his brains seems to short circuit.

The air is charged with something you haven’t felt in a long time.

“Are you sure?” Steve says, a barely audibly whisper. His hand cups your cheek so delicately, and you feel cherished. Love. Seen.

“I am,” you whisper back, before pulling him closer to you for a kiss.

It’s the kind of kiss you dreamed about while you were trapped in another universe.

It makes you feel electric, the same way your first kiss had. That iconic kiss happened because Steve found out you’d never played spin the bottle. In his kitchen late, late at night, he took an empty soda bottle and spun it on the countertop.

He had maneuvered it just right and stopped it with his hand when the bottle neck pointed right at you, like a compass needle finding truth north.

“Well, what do you know,” Steve had said at the time, with a dopey grin on his face. “It’s you.”

“If you wanted to kiss me so bad,” you had quipped, “you could’ve just asked.”

And then you two kissed like crazy, amongst other things.

Back in the present, all your hesitancies and qualms about re-engaging in intimacy and sex with Steve are thrown out the window when you feel his lips on yours.

Giddy as if it’s the first time (because, in a way, it kind of is), the two of you break apart and practically race down the hall to his bedroom. Thank goodness for no roommates, because when you’re in there, Steve slams the door and presses you against it to kiss some more, closing the gap between the metaphorical great divide that you’ve placed between you both.

You tug at his shirt, and he pulls it off before the two of you stumble into his bed.

Things heat up, and they’re going great. Steve is kissing and biting your neck, probably leaving a hickey or two, but you don’t mind. His hands are gripping your waist, practically leaving scorch marks in their wake.

You’re loving this. You’re having a great time.

Until you’re not. The trains of thought in your brain all rush from the station at the same time, colliding at a junction on the tracks.

What if you give Steve an infection? Not an STD, but like, an Upside Down sickness. You could be a carrier and not even realize it. Is that a possibility? What did Dr. Owens say last time you saw him?

He advised you not to get pregnant. He said there’s a possibility your future children could have birth defects after your time in the Upside Down. Birth defects! You’re only 21 years old and your body is poisoned. Not enough to harm you in the short term, but the long term effects on you (and your progeny) could be terrible to deal with.

But Steve really wants kids. What if he finds out you can’t give him children and he leaves you? You really, really don’t want him to leave you.

You don’t realize it, but you start breathing a little harder. To Steve, it seems like you’re insanely turned on. Mentally, your brain is on a different plane of existence.

He’s going to leave you because he’s better off without you. He doesn’t realize it yet but one day, one day. He will.

Vecna was right. Vecna said Steve would get tired and bored of you. That’s why the monster tried to recruit you, to flay you. That’s why he pursued you across the Upside Down for days, hunting you like a dog until he cornered you at the quarry.

Steve finally takes notice of your erratic breathing pattern. You’re not reacting how you usually do to his kissing. He ceases the lovefest and leans up on his elbows.

“Y/N? You okay?”

You don’t hear him. You continue to hyperventilate, your eyes screwed tightly shut.

And when you stabbed the beast through the chest with the spear Eddie left behind, you didn’t even feel sorry.

Is that the kind of person you are? A sick, violent freak?

But it was self-defense!

But if you hadn’t tried to draw the demobats away, you wouldn’t have been in that situation. You went against the plan. You caused all the bad things that happened to you.

You’re a bad person. A bad omen. A bad girlfriend. A bad daughter. A—

“Hey, can you hear me? Y/N?”

Steve’s soft, slightly panicked, voice brings you back down to reality.

You nod, eyes still shut.

“Sorry,” you say. “I don’t—I don’t know what happened.”

“It’s okay,” Steve says, still speaking quietly as if he’s afraid to scare you. You don’t feel his hands on you anymore, but you sense he’s still close. “It’s okay. Can you sit up? I think you should drink something.”

You sit up slowly and open your eyes. Steve looks frazzled, but he musters up a smile when he hands you a glass of cold water.

“Sorry,” you mumble.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

You don’t respond, just take a sip.

“Can we just go to bed?” you say after a moment, voice cracking.

Steve nods and gives your knee a gentle squeeze.

“Of course. And, hey, listen, we don’t have to have sex anytime soon, okay?”

“But—”

“No, seriously,” Steve says, shaking his head vehemently. “I mean, of course I like having sex with you. Probably too much.”

You snort and shake your head, a small smile pulling at the corners of your mouth.

“But you know I don’t mind waiting. Right?”

You nod.

“Yeah, I know.”

But as you lie awake, tossing and turning, your brain continues feeding you lie after lie, and you find yourself believing the opposite. Prude, tease. Bad girlfriend. Bad person.

🫀🫀🫀

The next morning, you, Steve, Gus, Jessica, and Rochelle work on a homecoming float for the club basketball team the boys are on.

It’s fun at first. The parking lot is filled with floats for all different student organizations. Someone is playing music a bit too loud, but the energy is electric.

It takes a turn when Steve rushes off with Gus to get more supplies.

While you’re kneeling by the float trying to staple tinsel trim around the edge, you hear Rochelle and Jessica whispering conspiratorially on the other side. They can’t see you due to a large papier mâché basketball blocking you from view.

You're awash with embarrassment, feeling warm head to toe, when you realize they’re talking about you.

“You know what Mollie told me?” Rochelle said. “When she and Steve were hooking up last year, he called her Y/N, like, three times.”

Your heart shrinks. You didn’t know Steve had been involved with anyone while you were gone. In fact, he said the opposite.

“That’s kind of sweet though, when you think about it,” Jessica muses. “But I wonder what caused Steve and Y/N to break up and then get back together. I’ve never dreamed of breaking up with Gus.”

“I heard some other super freaky stuff about her,” Rochelle says. “My sorority sister, Tina, is from Hawkins too. Apparently, Y/N had, like, amnesia or some shit after that earthquake thing. And she was like missing.”

“Damn,” Jessica says. “That’s crazy. How’d she remember stuff and get back home?”

“Who gives a shit?” Rochelle scoffs. “That’s obviously a cover story. Tina said the real story is probably something much simpler. Like she ran away to become a stripper but couldn’t hack it because she doesn’t have a good body. And, well, we’ve seen that firsthand.”

Anger and shame courses through your veins, and you tug on the hem of your sweatshirt. You’re comforted only a miniscule amount when you hear Jessica come to your defense.

“Don’t be such a jerk. And we have no idea what really happened so stop making shit up, mkay?”

“I’m just repeating what I heard. But Tina’s right, her whole deal is so weird. I can’t believe she’s Steve’s girlfriend. He deserves better.”

Those words echo in your head. He deserves better. He deserves better. You’ve been thinking that a lot yourself lately.

You don’t care if Jessica and Rochelle see you when you toss your stapler onto the ground and stomp off.

“Oh, shit,” you hear Jessica say. “Nice going, Roche.”

“It’s not my fault! I didn’t know she was creeping around!”

As you beeline through the throngs of float-makers, you bump into Steve, holding a box of glittery something. He grins at you.

“Hey, where’s the fire?”

When he notices the grim look on your face, he sobers up.

“Whoa, what happened?”

“Who’s Mollie?” you ask before you can stop yourself.

Steve pales. He swallows hard, grip on the box loosening. He gingerly sets it on the ground next to him and shrugs.

“No one.”

“Liar.”

Steve glances around before leading you away from the crowd to a secluded spot on the outskirts of the parking lot.

“She really was no one,” Steve repeats. “Just some girl I had a class with. I was lonely and she liked me, so we went out twice.”

“I heard Rochelle say you hooked up with her,” you say. You cross your arms and try to keep angry tears at bay. “You told me you didn’t find anybody else.”

“I didn’t!” Steve says, a little louder. He clears his throat. “I meant that. We almost hooked up, but I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”

You sigh and shake your head. You want to believe him so badly. But the voice in your head that’s been so cruel to you lately isn’t convinced.

“Do you still think about her?”

Steve scrunches up his face, wholly confused at your line of questioning.

“What? No, of course not. Like I said, we hung out twice, had one near-miss, and then never spoke again. Babe, is everything okay?”

He reaches a hand to your arm and you flinch away. Your action makes him frown deeper.

You rub your forehead.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you say. “Just tired.”

A beat. You think Steve’s going to accept your answer, until: “Why are you lying to me?”

“I’m not lying!” you say, irritation creeping into your tone. “I’m just tired. Okay, Steve?”

Steve fidgets from foot to foot. He’s starting to look as agitated as you feel. With an annoyingly calm, even voice, he says, “I think you’re not being honest.”

“And I think you should shut up,” you fire back, before you can stop yourself.

Steve’s face contorts into a frown, the line between his brows deepening.

“Whoa, what the hell?” he says. “Why are you being like this?”

“Because I just found out you lied about not being involved with someone while I was gone!”

Steve rubs his face with his hands, as if he’s trying to scrub away whatever he’s feeling. He takes a deep breath, another one, and then finally speaks.

“Y/N, I thought you were dead,” he says, voice strained. “You can’t seriously be jealous of me spending time with someone else because to my knowledge, I was never going to see you again.”

You know you should apologize for your outburst. Tell him about your insecurities, now dialed up to 1000 thanks to Rochelle’s comments. Rejoin his friends at the float like the normal girlfriend he probably wishes you were.

But instead, you find yourself voicing one of the fears that’s been swirling in your brain since June.

“It would be so much easier for you if that was still the case, right?” you ask, softly.

“Excuse me?” Steve asks.

“Do you ever regret it?” you ask. “Bringing me back?” He doesn’t react, doesn’t move, doesn’t blink. You clear your throat and, louder, add, “Because it would be so much simpler for you to date a girl like Mollie or Rochelle.”

“Jesus, Y/N,” Steve groans. “Don’t bring Rochelle into this.”

“Why not? She’s obviously obsessed with you!”

“Yeah?” Steve scoffs. “Well, I don’t like her. I like you.” He shakes his head, as if he’s short-circuiting, and corrects, “I love you!”

Too late. You already heard the Freudian slip of your worst nightmare. He doesn’t regard you in the same way he did before your so-called death. You’ve changed too much.

You shake your head vehemently.

“No,” you say. “No. You loved the girl I was before it all happened.”

“You’re still the same girl!”

“I’m not!” you shout. You’re so angry, so upset, so emotional, you can’t stop. You’re floating above your body and watching yourself speak when you say, “I’m not. She’s gone, and sometimes I wish you’d never brought me back so I wouldn’t feel like this.”

Steve goes still once more. When he finally replies, his voice is dangerously quiet: “How dare you say that.”

You hadn’t expected that. You’d expected him to swoop in with comforting platitudes. To hug you and promise it would all be okay. To truly hear the words you’re saying—the thoughts you’ve been too afraid to voice in therapy, thoughts you’ve sugarcoated in your mind to lessen that bitter feeling on your tongue when you finally speak them aloud.

“What?” you whisper. Your eyes sting, unshed tears collecting on your lash line.

“How dare you say that,” Steve says, shaking his head. He’s angrier than you’ve ever seen him. He runs a hand through his hair and barks out a laugh so hollow, you can practically hear the echo in his ribcage. “That’s so fucking selfish that you wish you were still down there. I was miserable without you. I didn’t want to go on. I didn’t think I could!”

He's not getting what you’re trying to say. You open your mouth to reply, to apologize, to try and fix things, but Steve continues.

“So for you to be so callous, to think so little of me, to think I’d rather date some vapid airhead just because it would be ‘simpler’? To think I somehow can’t love you anymore because of what you went through? That’s just…bullshit!”

You heave out a sob as tears roll down your cheeks. Steve’s expression morphs into one of guilt. He swallows hard.

“Y/N, I—”

“You don’t get to tell me my feelings are bullshit!” you snap. You sniffle and roughly wipe your tears away, before jabbing a finger into his chest and pressing in. “Ever since I’ve been back, it’s all about how everyone else feels about it. You and my parents are so much happier, and you seem to think I can snap back to how I was before and forget it all happened and be grateful that I survived. Well, I can’t!”

Despite your distance from the parade planning festivities, you see a few curious students glance in your direction. You can’t be bothered to care.

“I don’t know how to go on with life like normal after 15 months in that hell, and no one understands what I’m going through!” you yell. “No one has been through that! And I’m miserable and scared and anxious and I’m lying to my therapist week after week because I can’t even verbalize what I’m thinking without feeling like I’m losing my goddamn mind. So sorry if sometimes I wish all this would go away.”

Steve’s facial expression cracks your heart in seventeen pieces. He looks devastated and confused.

“I’m so sorry,” he says, somewhat cautiously. “You’re right. I’m not handling this well, not seeing it from your point of view. But this is the most you’ve expressed how you’re feeling about it all. For the past few months, I—I don’t know. I thought you were feeling okay.”

You sniffle again and shrug.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” Steve says. He clears his throat. “This is good, I think. Well, no, it’s not good that we’re screaming at each other in the quad. But getting our feelings out is—”

“I want to go home,” you say, cutting him off.

Steve closes his eyes, sighs softly, and nods.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll drive you back to Hawkins tonight.”

“No, I want to go now,” you say, voice cracking as you try not to cry harder. “I want my mom to come get me.”

Hurt flashes on Steve’s features. “Babe, are you sure? I really don’t mind. I want to, actually. The drive will give us more of a chance to talk.”

But you’re too tired and overwhelmed to talk anymore. Steve understands, though his shoulders are slumped as the two of you walk back to his apartment.

He offers to pack your bag while you call your house. Your mom picks up on the second ring.

“Hello, Y/L/N residence.”

“Mom?” you sniff. “Can you come get me?”

“Oh, of course sweetie!” You hear the jingle of car keys. “Wait, are you crying? What’s wrong? Was it another nightmare?”

“I just don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Did you and Steve have a fight?”

“His friends were really mean,” you say quietly, deciding not to disclose that you indeed got in an argument with Steve. “This girl, Rochelle, said one of her friends from Hawkins is telling everyone I was a stripper.”

“Oh, don’t you listen to that.”

You can’t hold back tears as you begin to cry harder.

“How come everyone makes up those dumb rumors?” you say through sobs. “And if people on campus already know them, how much worse will it be if I’m a student here?!”

Your mom soothes you over the phone before promising to get there as quickly as possible. As you hang up the phone, Steve comes in from down the hall, frowning and carrying your now-packed duffel. He doesn’t even try to be subtle about his eavesdropping when he asks, “Why didn’t you tell me Rochelle said that to you?”

You shrug and look down at your feet.

Steve closes his eyes and shakes his head. “I keep replaying our conversation in my head,” he says, “and I feel like an ass.”

“You’re not, Steve.”

“No! I am. I absolutely am. You were honest and vulnerable, and I immediately got mad. I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you say flatly. Admittedly, you’re not sure if you forgive him yet. But you know you didn’t treat him well either, so you say, “I’m sorry too. I was insensitive. I know you had a hard time while I was gone—”

“But it’s nothing compared to what you were dealing with,” Steve says. He steps closer to you and intertwines your hands together. “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?”

“My mom’s already on her way,” you say. “And you should rest up. Tomorrow’s the parade, and the homecoming game.”

“I don’t need to go to the game.”

“Steve—”

“I’d rather come back to Hawkins this weekend,” he continues. “Spend more time with you. Talk things through, you know? Maybe I can just ride with you and your mom, and Munson can bring me back Sunday.”

He’s sweet. But you aren’t sure how to tell him that you really, really don’t want to be around him right now. You don’t want to be around anyone, really.

You take a deep breath, gently drop his hands, and say, “I think I need some space.”

You can’t look Steve in the eye, but you hear the pain in his voice when he says, “Oh. Um, okay. Yeah. Of course. Space.”

You two sit in awkward silence while you wait for your mom to arrive. When she gets there, Steve continues to be a gentleman, carrying your bag for you and politely making small talk with your mom. He gives you a hug goodbye, but it doesn’t linger the way his hugs usually do.

As your mom drives away, you watch your boyfriend get smaller and smaller in the side mirror.

Before leaving, you promised him you’d call him that night.

You conveniently “forget” to do that.

He leaves a message at 9:37 p.m., asking you to call him back.

You don’t.

🫀🫀🫀

NOVEMBER 1987

“Hey, babe. It’s Steve. Again. I know we agreed on ‘space’ but I haven’t heard from you in three weeks…I don’t want to rush or smother you, but I’d really like to talk, even if it’s for, like, five minutes. So please call me back. I love you, Y/N.”

“Hey Y/N. Are you doing okay? Robin says she saw you and your mom at the store the other day and you just seemed kind of…out of it. To be honest, I’m worried about you. Listen, even if you don’t…even if we…even if you’ve decided you don’t want to be with me anymore, or something, I still care about you. And I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. Please call me. Bye. Love you.”

“Hi Y/N, I’m coming back to Hawkins for Thanksgiving. Can I come by after you and your parents have dinner? I want to check in. On how you’re doing, and on how you’re feeling about ‘us.’ Let me know, okay? Bye, Y/N.”

“Hey. I’m going to swing by your place after I’ve finished Thanksgiving dinner with the Buckleys. Robin told me you’ve been avoiding her too. And Eddie, and Jonathan. I know you’re going through a tough time, but don’t try to do it alone. That’s a lesson I learned the hard way last year. I’ll see you tonight, all right?”

🫀🫀🫀

You’ve spent the past month and a half wallowing. All you really do is sleep, eat, shower, and take short walks around your neighborhood for exercise. Any time Steve calls the house phone, you tell your parents to let it ring and let it go to voicemail.

It’s shitty of you, but you aren’t sure how to dig yourself out of this hole that you’ve found yourself in. You’re still feeling rather undeserving of Steve.

So when he shows up on your doorstep on Thanksgiving, wearing that maroon sweater that you’ve always just adored, the first thing you do is apologize for your radio silence. Then, you offer him pumpkin pie.

“I won’t say no,” he says. “As long as you split it with me.”

While your parents cuddle on the couch and watch It’s A Wonderful Life, you and Steve sit on the kitchen counter and eat slices of pie with whipped cream.

For a few minutes, you exchange small talk and pleasantries. Then, Steve gets down to business.

“How have you been doing, really?” Steve asks.

“Fine. Just tired.”

“Y/N,” Steve says with a sigh. “Please just be honest with me.”

You suck in a breath.

“Okay. You want honesty? I’m having a really hard time.”

“I know,” Steve says gently. “And I want to help. Can you talk to me about what’s going on?”

You consider it. You consider wrenching your heart open for him and admitting all your fears and insecurities. But last time you broached this subject with Steve and tried to be wholly honest about what you were feeling, you didn’t explain it right and he took it the wrong way.

And you also hear what sounds like Rochelle’s voice in your mind: He deserves better. He deserves better.

You save yourself the trouble and say, “I need to get my shit together. And I’m not being a very good girlfriend while I do, so I think we need to break up.”

Despite your best efforts to stay strong, you feel tears coming on. Everything only worsens when you hear Steve whisper, “What?”

He deserves better. He deserves better. He deserves better than you.

“I have to focus on myself right now,” you continue as the tears roll down your cheeks. You stab your pie with your fork and say, “I’m sorry. I love you so much—”

“I love you too, Y/N, so I—”

“—but I need to deal with this on my own. It’s not fair of me to treat you like this.” You clear your throat and add, “You deserve someone who can give you everything you want.”

“You’re what I want,” Steve says. You can’t look at him, but you get the impression that he’s tearing up too. “I mean, if this is really what you want, I’ll respect your decision completely, but I just have to know—is there anything I can do to change your mind?”

You don’t want to do this—

—but he deserves better.

“I’m sorry, but no.”

“You don’t have to do this alone,” Steve says after a beat. “Even if we aren’t together anymore, I’m still here for you. You know that, right?”

You nod, still decimating your pie slice with your fork.

“Okay, good.” He sniffles.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to keep apologizing.”

“Sorry. Ah, I mean—”

Steve chuckles, despite everything. You two share an awkward hug goodbye before he leaves.

You stay in the kitchen and hear him wish your parents “Happy holidays.” As you hear the front door open and shut, as you hear his car turn on and drive away, you try to convince yourself this was the correct choice. That shutting him out means he’ll live a happier life without you.

The pit of emptiness like a chasm in your soul will go away eventually, right?

🫀🫀🫀

FEBRUARY 1988

It’s been 3 months since you broke up with Steve.

You decided to defer your U of I enrollment. Steve, being a good friend, calls a few days before the semester starts asking if you’d like help moving into your dorm, and you break the news to him. He understands but sounds disappointed. It makes you feel terrible.

But this is the right choice. You aren’t ready to be away from home, away from your parents, even if it’s just a couple hours away.

You start taking community college classes to fill your time and get some credits, along with working at Bradley’s Big Buy as a stocker. It’s mindless, monotonous work. It’s kind of perfect.

What isn’t so perfect is your therapist, Elaine. She’s nice enough. But she doesn’t seem to get it. You aren’t able to fully tell her what you went through, considering she knows nothing about the Upside Down, so she can’t really help you.

When you start opening up about the dark thoughts worming their way through your mind, Elaine advocates strongly and staunchly for putting yourself out there and making new friends to fill the void. You’re starting to wonder if you’re wasting your time shelling out $50 a week.

You do think a better social life would be good for you, so you invite Robin, Eddie, and Jonathan to come over to your place for a horror movie marathon. (Nancy would be invited too, if she wasn’t away at school.) You’ve rented a D-level slasher trilogy about a man in a hockey mask attacking pageant queens. It’s small potatoes compared to what you’ve actually been through.

Jonathan agrees, but both Robin and Eddie tell you they can’t make it. Robin because she’s got the flu. Eddie because he has band practice all afternoon and into the night.

It stings like a barb ripping you open when you swing by Melvald’s for cheap movie candy and spot the two of them across the street, laughing as they head into the Hawk with…Steve, who must be home from school for the weekend.

So they do want to have a movie night. Just with Steve and not you. Message received.

You wonder if Steve said something to sour you in their eyes. You thought the breakup was amicable. You know he was upset by it, but he respected your decision. And he doesn’t seem like the type to badmouth an ex, especially after all you’ve been through together.

But anxiety rolls through your nervous system the rest of the day. As you and Jonathan watch the crappy movies, you just feel numb.

“Jee-sus!” Jonathan yelps as the killer’s chainsaw hacks through someone’s limb.

He glances your way, eyebrows raising. “What? That didn’t scare you?”

You shrug. “I’ve seen worse.”

Jonathan’s brow furrows. He leans over and pauses the movie.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? We can watch something else. Or, if you’d rather be alone, I can head out.”

You pick at a loose thread on the pillow in your lap.

“Are Robin and Eddie mad at me?” you whisper.

“What?” Jonathan says with a laugh. “You’re, like, the nicest person in a fifty-mile radius. Why would they be mad at you?”

The old you was nice. The current you is moody. But Jonathan is also pretty moody, so maybe your moodiness is baseline in his eyes.

“They both said they couldn’t come tonight,” you continue, “but then I saw them just an hour ago in downtown Hawkins heading into the Hawk with Steve. Why else would they make up excuses not to come unless they were mad?”

Jonathan takes a long, slow sip of his grape soda and shrugs.

“It’s probably because they don’t want you to think they chose Steve over you in the breakup.”

“But that’s exactly what they did!”

“Maybe not,” Jonathan says. “Maybe they just made the plans with Steve before you invited us over and it’s easier to turn down your invitation than cancel on him.”

That’s a very logical way of looking at it, but it still stings feeling like you’ve lost two friends since you and Steve aren’t together anymore.

You and Jonathan continue watching, but his mom calls halfway through the second movie, forcing him to leave early—something about El using telekinesis to turn her bed into a bunk bed and it backfiring horribly.

You try to push your worries out of your mind, but paranoia takes a hold. As you toss and turn in your bed that night, clutching Lambchop for a semblance of comfort, your brain bullies you.

Robin and Eddie are pissed at you. Probably because you haven’t gone to any Corroded Coffin shows since you’ve been back. You’ve been a little preoccupied.

A little selfish, more like. It doesn’t matter what you’re going through. You should still support your friends.

But why? You don’t like drinking alcohol anymore because you don’t like feeling out of control. And the Hideout is the only place Corroded Coffin plays, and that place reeks of booze and cigarettes and bad decisions.

Maybe that’s why Eddie’s mad. Is Robin mad by proxy? Did Steve shit-talk you to her? How did he describe the events of the breakup?

Were you a bad girlfriend? Are you a bad friend? Bad person?

Yes. You’re a bad person.

🫀🫀🫀

You happen to run into Robin on the community college’s campus the following Monday. You can’t help but ask if she’s feeling better.

Her eyes widen and she plasters on a smile.

“O-oh, yeah!” she says. “I’m feeling loads better. Tons! Tons better.”

“Your sinus infection is gone?” you prompt, knowing full well she told you it was the flu.

“Yep! All gone. My sinuses are as healthy as can be. I feel like I could live to be 100!”

You exchange a few more pleasantries and shuffle off.

🫀🫀🫀

MARCH 1988

There’s a dark cloud hovering over your mind. Most days, you’re lethargic. You go to classes and go to work, and you do start going to the Hideout on Tuesday nights with Jonathan and Robin to watch Eddie play with his band.

But that’s the extent of your social life. You’re feeling lonely and drained.

Things take a turn for the worse in March. It was a cold, cold winter in Hawkins, and spring is shaping up to be warmer but just as gloomy. Really bad thunderstorms shake the windowpanes of your house most days, and the streaks of lightning remind you so much of the grayish-yellow Upside Down sky, it makes you sick.

You can’t help but find yourself thinking you want to disappear to escape it all. Not die, exactly. But fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. Maybe when you woke up, things would be better.

You try to explain what you’re feeling to Elaine the Therapist, and she doesn’t understand what you meant in the slightest.

“Have you gotten checked for narcolepsy?” she asks.

You give her a tight smile and say you’ll ask your doctor about it at your next checkup.

A bright spot is when Robin invites you to a party at her apartment. You forgot her and Eddie’s little white lie from a few weeks ago and RSVP yes.

The party is going well. You’re having a nice conversation with Jonathan and Eddie when Steve walks in, and he’s not alone.

Your heart sinks to your feet, through the floor, and all the way to the core of the earth when you see Steve is joined by Rochelle.

You don’t even hear any of the conversations happening around you. You quickly excuse yourself to the kitchen for a glass of water—and because you need to be alone.

You get about 15 seconds of a reprieve before Steve enters.

“Listen, it’s not what you think,” he says quickly.

“Hello to you too, Steve,” you say. You can’t even look him in the eye, choosing instead to study the ice cubes in your glass.

“I’m not here with Rochelle,” Steve continues. He runs a hand through his hair. “I mean, yes, she’s here. And I’m here. And we’re here together. But not together together! God, I’m not making any sense, am I?”

“None at all.”

“She needed a ride to her parents’ house for the weekend,” Steve explains. “She lives just forty-five minutes from here. But I guess they were out of town, and she didn’t have a key, so she’s staying with me. And she didn’t want to spend all day in my house alone, so—”

“She’s here,” you finish for him. You finally look him in the eye and force a smile. “That’s fine, Steve. You can hang out with whoever you want.”

“Trust me,” Steve snorts. “I’d rather not be hanging out with her. I’m just doing her a favor because she’s friends with Jessica and Gus.”

Before you can respond, Rochelle saunters into the kitchen. She smiles like a shark—all gums and teeth.

“Oh, it’s you!” she says. “Y/N! How have you been?”

“Fine,” you say politely. “How about you?”

“Oh, just great. Really great. Sad to not see you around campus, though. I thought you enrolled?”

She has the impressive capability of making everything single sentence sound like an insult.

“I’m going to community college instead,” you explain. “But I really should get back out there.”

You give Steve and Rochelle a wide berth before stepping back into the living room.

The rest of the party goes by fine. Except you can’t quite contain your rage watching Rochelle throw herself at Steve all afternoon.

She sits too close to him. She constantly whispers in his ear and giggles, like they’re sharing inside jokes and secrets. While Robin’s putting on a movie for everyone to watch, you swear you even see Rochelle put her hand on Steve’s thigh.

The only thing that makes you feel better is that Steve blocks every one of these advances. While Eddie regales you all with a Corroded Coffin storytime, you even notice Steve's slotted himself in between Robin and the wall, forcing Rochelle to stand off to the side near a potted plant.

When the party’s over, you wish Robin well and try to slip out unnoticed. Unfortunately, Steve has a terrible habit of noticing everything about you, and he follows you out.

“Hey, wait up!” he calls, jogging behind you as you speed walk to your car to avoid the sprinkling rain.

“Sorry, I have to go,” you say, struggling to unlock your car door.

Before you can get it unlocked and make your escape, Steve places a hand over the driver’s side door handle.

“Hold on,” he says. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

“Well, I have to get home—”

“This’ll take five minutes,” Steve promises. He traces an X over his heart. “Cross my heart, hope to cry.”

You scrunch your nose in confusion. “It’s ‘die.’”

“Huh?”

“It’s ‘Cross my heart, hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye.’”

Steve’s eyes widen and jaw drops, affronted. “Jesus Christ,” he grumbles. “Why would anyone ever want to do that?”

“That’s the point!” you say, and you can’t help but laugh at the appalled look on his face. “You don’t want to do that, so you keep the promise.”

“Ah. Okay, well, I’ll be fast. I just want to see how you’ve been doing these past few months. I—I miss you, you know?”

You swallow hard. The rain’s starting to pick up now. You don’t want to wait too much longer to drive home, or else it’ll be too hard to see. And if you see lightning, you’ll probably have a panic attack behind the wheel, making you a danger to yourself and others.

“I miss you too,” you say. “But I really, really need to get home now.”

You think of leaving it at that, but your heart feels as sad as the look on his face, so you add, “But you can come by my house later tonight and we can talk? Uh, how’s 8 sound?”

Steve’s face brightens. He gives you that smile that always makes your stomach do a backflip.

“I’d like that,” he says.

You smile back and open your car door. Before stepping in, you turn to him and say, “Do not bring Rochelle.”

“Cross my whatever and hope to who-gives-a-shit!” Steve says as he walks backward away from your car. You give him a small wave, which he returns, before getting in the car and driving off.

As you suspected, the drive home is much, much too anxiety-inducing. Thunder seems to shake the whole frame of the car as you drive across town. Rain falls in pails, as if angels are taking buckets and throwing them on your car specifically. Your windshield wipers can barely keep up, and cars are honking and passing you since your fear is causing you to drive about ten under the speed limit.

You try not to let that bother you as your hands grip the wheel for dear life, the muscles from your fingers up to your shoulders impossibly tense. There’s a reason your mom drove you everywhere last summer and fall. Getting back into the habit of operating a motor vehicle isn’t easy, and everything seems to scare you now.

Despite everything, the drive is going fine—until one of the cars passing you cuts a little too close as they swerve back into the right lane. They almost clip your front bumper, which causes you to panic and swerve off the road near the now defunct trailer park.

Your tires squeak on the wet grass and you slam on your breaks, heart pounding. Shuddery breaths draw in, out. In, out. You try and collect yourself and turn your left turn signal on to merge back onto the main road. However, something gray out of the corner of your eye causes you to whip your head in the direction of the trailer park.

This is where you died and were resurrected—well, the version of this in the Upside Down. In Hawkins, the area is cordoned off. No one can live there anymore, thanks to the big cracks in the earth. Once gates, they were now sealed, but they upended some trailers and tore others in two.

You see a flash of movement between two broken trailers. The gates are supposed to be closed, and there aren’t supposed to be Upside Down creatures in Hawkins anymore, but you can’t help but wonder alternatives. You feel compelled to check it out.

You turn off your car’s ignition, grab the flashlight from your glove box, and clamor out, ducking under the “CAUTION” tape and jogging into the park. You squint in the rain, the beam of your flashlight scanning the surrounding area. You step over uneven earth, wondering if you’re wasting your time and should just—

“GRRRRRROWWWLLLL!!!!!”

You whip around and gasp. The gray creature you saw wasn’t a demo-creature, but a mangy, stray dog with muddy fur. It snaps its jaws and you see three little puppies cowering under a bush behind it.

An overprotective mama dog wouldn’t have scared you two years ago. You would’ve known exactly how to handle the situation without freaking out. But now, your fear spikes and you remember the few run-ins with hungry demodogs you had in the Upside Down. The dog is blocking your way back to your car, so you turn on your heel and run in the opposite direction, toward the imposing forest.

You can’t think clearly. Your mind is on fire. All you can think is Danger! Danger! Danger! And it’s keeping you from making any rational decisions.

You swear you hear the dog chasing behind you, snarling and ready to attack. You zig-zag between trees and glance behind to see if you really are being chased.

You lose your footing on slick mud, left ankle twisting painfully as you fall to the ground. Your flashlight skitters out of your grasp and rolls away, blinking out.

Now, you’re stuck in the rain, in the dark, with an injured ankle and no flashlight. Thankfully, the dog wasn’t following. But you feel powerless, hoping you can muster any survival instincts from your time in the Upside Down to make your way back to safety.

🫀🫀🫀

At 7:58 p.m., Steve parks outside your house.

He’s more nervous than he needs to be. He tries to remember that this isn’t a visit to win you back, as much as he wishes it was. No, he’s respecting your decision. But he’s glad he has the chance to just talk to you.

After you dumped him, he spent way too much time overanalyzing that fight you two had in October. It solidified the fact that he was an ass, completely misunderstanding you and getting mad for no good fucking reason.

Admittedly, he was tempted to throw away all his progress and drink away his misery. But he didn’t, channeling that energy toward more productive things. His mind is clearer than it was, and he’s going to make it right this time. Steve wants to check on you, the way his friends checked on him while he was having a tough time. Their support was invaluable.

Steve rings your doorbell, shaking out his umbrella.

The front door swings open. Your father looks expectant, before he frowns.

“Steve, hello,” your father says. “Is Y/N with you?”

Steve’s brow furrows. “Uh, no,” he says. “I’m supposed to meet her here.”

Your father curses and puts his head in his hands.

“Is it her?” your mother says, rushing around the corner with the cordless phone tucked under her shoulder. When she sees Steve, her shoulders slump. She speaks into the phone, “Hopper, she’s still not back.”

“What’s going on?” Steve asks, heart sinking. “Y/N’s missing?”

“She never came back from Robin’s party,” your father says, stepping aside to let Steve in. “You saw her leave, right?”

“Yeah,” Steve says with a nod. His mouth feels very, very dry.

Your mother continues murmuring on the phone with Hopper, and your father continues grilling Steve: “How was she? Did she seem upset?”

“A little nervous, maybe,” Steve says. He swallows hard. “I, uh, I think she was freaked out by the storm.”

You should’ve driven her home, Steve thinks. You idiot. If something happens to her, it’ll be your fault.

“She’s been so quiet lately,” your father says, voice strained. He clears his throat. “And so jumpy. But she said she wanted to start driving again. We thought she was getting better…”

Your father looks like he’s beside himself. Steve is unsure what to say to make things right.

Your mother hangs up the phone and sighs. “Hopper’s going to go look for her,” she says. She chokes out a sob. “Oh, Roger…she’s been so down lately. What if she…”

“Let’s not speculate,” your father says firmly, though he looks anxious about the possibilities.

Your parents decide to drive around looking for you, and Steve joins the search in his own car as well. He can’t sit idly by knowing you’re out there, possibly in distress, possibly in danger.

🫀🫀🫀

While you’re sitting against a tree trunk trying to shield yourself from the rain, there’s a morbid part of you that’s okay with this.

You wanted something bad to happen. You wanted to be in some kind of distress, because you being hurt means people have to care about you. Right? They have to really, truly see that you’ve been struggling but haven’t been able to ask for proper help.

You snap yourself out of that thought process, trying to remind yourself that people do care about you. But it’s hard to feel that way when you’ve put so much distance between yourself and the people you love.

You aren’t sure how long you sit in the rain having a pity party, watching your swollen ankle get bigger and bigger. You need to ice it and elevate it. And anytime longer in this rain, you’ll catch a cold.

So, you crawl on your hands and knees and find as sturdy a branch as you can on the forest floor. You use it as a pseudo walking stick to help you hobble back toward the trailer park. You know the way, thanks to your time traversing the forest daily in the Upside Down.

As you get closer to the break in the trees, you hear people calling for you. You shuffle there faster.

“I’m here!” you yell, stumbling through the tree line. “I’m here!”

It’s Chief Powell and Hopper, and they look relieved to see you. Officer Callahan and an animal control worker are trying to coax the mama dog and her three pups into crates.

“What happened, kid?” Hopper asks, sitting with you in the backseat of Powell’s truck while the other man radios for an ambulance and a tow truck for your car. The usual gruff timbre to Hopper's voice has a softened edge to it today, like he can sense your emotional fragility.

“Some jerk pushed me off the road. And I thought I saw…I—listen, the mud made the dog’s fur look gray, and I thought it was—”

“One of these hellhounds?”

You nod.

“I’m not sure if you realize this,” Hopper says. “But it’s been two years to the day since you…you know.”

You swallow hard.

“I didn’t remember,” you admit. “I mean, I knew the anniversary was coming up soon, I just…”

“We were all worried you…did something,” Hopper continues cautiously.

“I wouldn’t,” you say, much too quickly. “I mean, I feel like shit a lot of the time, but…no. I wouldn’t.”

Hopper nods, eyeing you. He doesn’t quite look convinced.

When the ambulance arrives, he rides with you to the hospital. Then, your parents meet you at the ER, while a doctor looks over your ankle.

It’s sprained, but not broken, thankfully. They send you home with a brace, some crutches, painkillers, and instructions to elevate and ice.

The whole drive home, your parents give you a speech about how much they love you and how they want to know how you’re doing, and that if you ever feel low, to talk to them because they can help. Normally, that kind of thing would annoy you, but after today—the fear of seeing what you thought was a demodog, of being back in the wilderness by yourself, even just for a few hours—you appreciate the gesture.

It's after midnight when you get home, and the rain has finally let up. Your dad helps you up the porch stairs, leaning the side with your bad leg against him the whole way. You almost don’t notice the note tacked to the front door until your mom points it out.

It has your name on it. You open it. Parts of it have been scratched out, but you can still read it all.

Hey, Y/N. I was driving around looking for you when Hopper found me. I’m so glad to hear that you’re going to be okay.

I’ll swing by tomorrow to chat, if you’re still up for it. If not, no worries. I know it’s a tough time. I just want you to know that I miss you I care about you more than you know I’m here.

-Steve

🫀🫀🫀

When Steve comes by the next day, he’s not alone.

You’re surprised to see him and Max Mayfield standing on your porch.

“Uh, hello!” you say. “How are you, Max?”

“Pretty good,” she says, “now that Steve is taking us for ice cream.”

You raise your eyebrows and adjust your stance on your crutches.

“Oh!” you say. You look to Steve. He’s smiling, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Everything about his posture is tense, nervous. You wonder if this is an intervention or something—if you’ll arrive at the ice cream shop and be bombarded by the rest of your friends and a licensed professional promising a “safe space.”

You tell your parents where you’re going, promising a million times that you’ll be careful, and hobble down the porch steps to Steve’s waiting car. He’s a gentleman, one hand hovering behind your back and ready to catch you if you fall.

Max lets you have the passenger seat, likely due to your injury. On the ride over, you consider (politely) asking what she’s doing there, as you expected this conversation would be about the nature of your and Steve’s relationship.

A part of you deep, deep down had hoped he would beg you to take him back. A part of you deeper down felt selfish for that, but it was what you wanted.

You made a huge mistake letting him go.

Steve ends up taking you both to Sonic, pulling into one of the parking spots and pressing the “Order” button. Max leans up from the backseat, sticking her head between the two front seats, and rattles off a complicated order of hot dogs, fries, slushies, and ice cream into the speaker.

“I thought this was just ice cream,” you say with an eyebrow raised.

Max smirks.

“Moneybags Harrington is paying,” she says, patting him on the shoulder.

“I resent that,” Steve grouses. But there’s a sparkle in his eye.

When the food comes, Steve divvies it up amongst the three of you. However, he quickly comes up with a shoddy excuse to step out of the car—something about the fries being a medium instead of a large.

Max climbs over the center console to settle in the driver’s seat.

You aren’t sure what to expect when you’re alone with Max, but it’s definitely not, “Dying and coming back really sucks, doesn’t it?”

Your burger immediately tastes like sandpaper. “Oh, let’s not talk about that,” you say. “Let’s talk about fun things. Have you learned any new skate tricks recently?”

“Don’t deflect,” Max says, waving a french fry at you for emphasis. “Steve said you were having a hard time because no one could relate to you, and I’m probably the only person in the world who can.”

She’s not wrong. After your return to the right side of the universe, you learned that Max woke up from her coma, completely healed, after you killed Vecna and the gates closed. You hadn’t thought about how the two of you had similar, paralleled experiences.

“It does suck,” you say quietly, swirling your spoon around in your ice cream cup. “And I kind of feel like I’m losing my mind.”

“For me, it was a lot of anger,” Max says. She fidgets with her own food as she continues. “I couldn’t understand people’s priorities anymore. Like, what do you mean you’re worried about a chem test, Dustin? A few months ago, the world almost ended!”

“I totally get that,” you say, and your heart already feels lighter. “And my parents don’t understand what really happened, so they just don’t get me at all. Why I get so scared, so angry. So jumpy. It makes me feel like I’m a freak in their eyes.”

“I feel like my mom doesn’t even see me anymore,” Max says. She clears her throat and you catch a glimpse of tears gathering on her lash line before she roughly wipes them away. “Like to her, I’m a ghost.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” you say. She scoffs.

“And there’s another annoying thing,” Max says. “The empty platitudes to make us feel better. That shit doesn’t fix anything!”

You’re not offended by her outburst, because you honestly agree. The two of you lament a bit longer, and by the end of the conversation, you’re feeling on top of the world. Sure, nothing is really fixed. But you finally realize that you have a kindred spirit in all this.

You and Max make a plan to do things together more often. You’re seeing her as a de facto little sister already, and you’re hopeful that your planned meetings will be just as beneficial for her as they are for you.

Steve comes back after what seems like a millennium, shooing Max back to the backseat.

“Took you long enough!” she says.

He just smiles.

🫀🫀🫀

JUNE 1988

It’s the first day of summer.

And it’s been a year to the day since you returned.

You expect to feel more anxious than you do. Instead, you feel peaceful.

You’re doing a lot better, genuinely. You found a new therapist (sorry, Elaine) and since it’s someone who worked with Dr. Owens, you’re able to spill all the gory details of your past and your trauma. Healing isn’t easy, but you feel yourself slowly sewing yourself back together again.

You and Max stick to your word and take weekly trips to Sonic. You talk about the heavy stuff, but also the normal life stuff. You sometimes have guests. This past week, Lucas and Mike tagged along, arguing the whole time about what should happen in the Ghostbusters sequel that’s supposed to release next year.

You and Steve…ah, what’s there to say. You want him back, but you imploded the relationship and it feels selfish to waltz up to him and say, “Hey, hot stuff. Wanna get back together?”

However, you’ve officially enrolled for the fall semester at U of I. While he’s home from Hawkins for summer break, under the guise of asking for tips about campus life, you spend a lot of time with him.

You also spend time in the library, doing some studying to catch up before you start your classes in the fall. Your high school graduation was a lifetime ago. Literally.

Steve, Robin, and Jonathan join you for those summertime study sessions, although Jonathan and Robin usually bicker over the music theory books and Steve doesn’t get much done except for doodling in his notebook. But sometimes you catch him staring at you, and then his cheeks flush pink in that adorable way that makes you want to do something stupid, like beg him to take you back.

If only you knew if he really felt the same…

…which you find out he does, during the summer solstice.

You’re at the county fair with your friends, but they’ve all run off to watch the fireworks, so it’s just you and Steve at a picnic table downing sodas and cotton candy.

Your fingers wrap around the cool glass of a now-empty Coke bottle, and you place it on the tabletop. You attempt to look nonchalant as you spin it slowly.

Once it’s picked up momentum, you let it go, watching it spin a few more times before stopping it with your hand when the bottle neck points at Steve.

“It’s you,” you whisper, attempting to recreate that magical first kiss moment from years and years ago. You clear your throat at Steve’s dumbfounded expression. “Ah, sorry. You don’t have to kiss me. I was just…”

To your pleasant surprise, Steve’s face splits into a grin. “Well, gee, Y/N,” he says. “If you wanted to kiss me that bad, you could’ve just said so.”

A million canaries titter a love song in your heart as he leans forward.

The two of you kiss, for the first time in a long time.

The great divide in your soul is starting to seal. And everything feels right.

THE END

🫀🫀🫀

a/n please lmk what you thought 🩵

tags; @aloneinthehellfire @starry-eyed-steve @hollandweather @wisdomssdaughterr @huffledor-able541 @springautumn

@sunshinesteviee @curiositydooropened @crappymixtape

#st fic: oj #st fic: tgd #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fic #stranger things fanfic

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pretoriafics · 3 years

Text

Teenage Dream

I think this one is the most fun thing I'd ever written. Maybe it can be a new series, I don't know. What do you think?

You were just reading smut fanfics about Derek Hale before sleep. When you woke up, you find that someway, you got into the Teen Wolf universe. Word count: 1.890 Pairings: Different Dimension!Reader x Derek; Different Dimension!Reader x Platonic!Scott; Different Dimension!Reader x Platonic!Stiles Contain: It's pretty fun; You dying of shame; AU Warnings: English is not my main language <3; Inappropriate language PART 2 ALTERNATIVE VERSION TEEN WOLF MASTERLIST

It was a calm night. You were lying on your bed with your bedroom in darkness. In your hand, you were with your cell phone. You had just read on Tumblr brand new smut fanfic with Derek Hale, one of your most-loved fictional characters. You found another one with Stiles - a platonic fluff fic this time -, and you will read it when you woke up. You were almost sleeping, and you are not capable of reading it now. You just have to sleep.

You put your cell phone on your bedside table and fell asleep quickly. But when you woke up, you found yourself in a different and familiar bedroom. You sit on the waitress and look around.

It was a sunny morning outside, and you were still in your cheesy kitten print pajamas. The bed, the walls... Everything sounds familiar to you: It was Scott McCall's bedroom. At first sight, you thought it was such a real dream. However, when you stood up from the waitress, you hit your little finger on the bed.

"Fuuuck!"

You sat on the waitress, holding your foot. Damn! That pain's too real for all of that to be a dream. While you grab your foot, you look around again. You could smell cologne and some low noises from outside the house. A little bit more confused right now, you stood up and walks around the bedroom. Getting close to the window, you could see a familiar jeep.

No, no, no. It was impossible. All of this is just a hyper-realistic dream.

You walk in wide steps to the bathroom and look at you through the mirror. Well, you are the one reflected there. What the hell? Should you go downstairs? Should you stay right here, waiting for something happens?

Hell no.

You take a deep breath and open the bedroom door, walking downstairs on tiptoes. Then, you heard two familiar voices.

"I don't know, Stiles! She just appeared in my bedroom!"

"How she is? Does she have scales? Fangs?"

"She's just a normal girl. We have to do something! If she is a psychopath creature?"

"Scott, I'm serious. We need to call Derek."

"No! We don't need another sociopath near us. We need to take care of it all by ourselves."

You heard Stiles let out a long sigh.

"You even know how to control yourself yet, Scott. Derek is used to dealing with strange things like this. We have to call him."

"Shh! She woke up!"

Well, you were exposed.

You finish getting downstairs and walk close to the living room frame. Scott and Stiles were in the middle of the room, and they look at you scared. Your eyes got widen, and the room dives into a weird silence for a few seconds. Yeah, you aren't crazy: Somehow, you got into the Teen Wolf series.

And when you realize it...

"Oh my gosh." You put your hands on your head, in shock and so excited at the same time. "Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh!"

Scott and Stiles look at each other with a 'what the hell?' in the eyes. You turn yourself to look around. Yeah, it was Scott's house! Your inner teenager was freaking out.

"Scott..." Stiles looks at his friend "Calls Derek."

Scott already was with his cell phone in his hands.

"I'm already calling."

Man, how did you get there?! Excited, you open the door and runs outside without care about being in pajamas in the middle of the street. Derek finally answers Scott's call.

"Derek?! Oh, thank god!"

Scott almost could hear Derek's muscles get tense.

"...What happened?"

"There's a girl who suddenly appeared on my bed, and she's freaking out!"

"What do you mean with 'suddenly appeared'?"

"Suddenly, Derek! She wasn't there in a second, and then she just was!"

And then, you saw Stiles' jeep. Oh, man, you loved that jeep so much!! Excited and freaking out, you ran to the jeep. Stiles almost had a heart attack.

"No, no, don't touch my jeep!!"

But it was too late.

"Oh my gosh!!" You touch Stiles' jeep just as if it was of gold.

Stiles run to you, and Derek starts to understand that something pretty wrong was happening.

"Scott, who's yelling? You know what? Forget it. I'm coming. Took this girl in your bedroom, don't let her escape."

Derek turns the call off, and Scott puts his cell phone in his pocket. Scott approaches you, and Stiles hasn't the courage to approach you yet. So, he was just staring at you, praying that you don't do anything with his precious jeep.

"Hey!" Scott calls you, and you look at him. His voice was hesitant, but he was trying to control things "I think you should get into the house. I mean, right now."

You blink your eyes repeatedly at Scott, frozen in your place. Yeah, you were inside your favorite series when you were a teenager, with all your favorite characters... But, you know about Beacon Hills. The city was full of secrets and dangers. Until yesterday, you could see Scott and his friends escaping from death numerous times. This time, you will be the one who does it.

And this is not good.

"...Oh my gosh."

This time, your words were not from excitement but fear. Man, you're so fucked up.

You swallowed hard and got into Scott's house. The boy looks at Stiles, confused.

"I thought that took the girl inside my house would be harder."

They got into the house, looking at your shape sit on the couch. Now, you look terrified.

"Uhh..." Stiles looks at you, trying to find out something "How did you-"

"You guys need to send me home! Something went wrong, and I came here."

Scott and Stiles look at each other. It was Scott's turn to say something to you.

"What exactly went wrong?"

"I don't know! Look, I was just trying to sleep on my bed, and when I woke up, I was here."

"What are you?"

"Nothing, I'm just human. Do you guys did something that could have brought me here?"

They denied with his heads, so confused as you. Scott and Stiles were relatively new to the supernatural world. So, they are completely lost. You bit your inner lip, thoughtful.

"Something big made it. I mean, I'm definitely not from here."

Scott and Stiles stare at you with a scared gaze. Then, you all hear a car noise: It was Derek's Camaro. He was parking in front of Scott's house. Your eyes got widened when you saw it. Oh, man, you absolutely haven't the maturity to deal with Derek. Well, first of all: You were reading smut fanfic about him last night. Worse: It was an imagine! And you even want to remember the fact that, when the show got to its end, you and your best friend made tattoos. She tattoed the McCall Pack symbol on her arm, and, well, you tattooed a small triskelion between your boobs.

Man, you were dying of shame. It is such an odd situation. Anyone would never know about your tattoo or the fanfics.

Derek got into the house, and his eyes run to you immediately, and then he looks at Scott and Stiles. You felt your cheeks burning. Such an odd situation!!

"What the hell did you do?"

"Nothing!" Scott said, too nervous "She just came out of nowhere."

Derek narrowed his green eyes to Scott and Stiles, and then he looks at you. You already knew what he could ask you, so you started to talk.

"Either do I! Look" You took a deep breath, trying to contain all that mess of feelings inside of you "I was in my bedroom sleeping, and then I woke up here. But there something pretty important you guys should know about me: I am definitely not from here. When I came from, anyone of you exists. You all are fictional characters from a tv series."

The room dives into a weird silence. Scott looks at Stiles.

"Uh... Stiles... She's not lying."

"Oh, man, I was born in the wrong dimension. Hey," Stiles looks at you "What the girls think about me? Do they like me? Do I have many fans?"

Stiles began to approach you, but Derek grabs him by his shirt, avoiding an approximation.

"We don't know about her yet, so stay right there."

"Oh, c'mon" Siles looks at him and gives a few steps close to Scott when Derek unleashes him "I'm pretty sure you're curious as well."

"I'm not. I just want to know what the hell is going on."

You narrowed your eyes to Derek. You know why he wasn't interested to know about him. So, you started to talk.

"Are you sure? I mean, everyone thinks you are the most wronged of all."

Derek stares at you, unmoved by your words. You should know he would be suspicious about you. He stares at Scott and Stiles.

"She will stay with me until we know she is not a problem. I'll investigate to know how she came here."

What?! No, no, you have no maturity for that. You felt your cheeks burning again. Man, it was just like on fanfics!

You objected.

"Hell no! I'll stay here."

Without a drop of patience and calm, Derek rolled his eyes.

"You'll stay here? With Scott and his mom? So what do you will tell her about your presence at her house?"

Okay. Your plan was stupid. Also, it was funnier when Derek was rude to Stiles. With you, it was just annoying. You cross your arms in front of your chest, not so sure about what to say. He let out a long sigh of annoyance and took your arm. You widen your eyes standing up from the couch. You look at his hand on you, and then you look at him.

"Hey!"

Derek drags you in the door's direction and looks at Scott.

"Something went too wrong for this girl to be here. Tell me if you find something else."

"Wait!" Scott gives a step forward into you and Derek's direction "She can't stay a little more? We need to, uh... Investigate."

"Let your stupid curiosity for another time, Scott."

You whine in annoyance while Derek drags you in his car's direction. A few minutes ago, you would be freaking out of getting into Derek's Camaro. Now, you are just too pissed off to care.

"Let me go! I know how to walk!"

He opened the passenger's seat door and released you. Derek didn't talk anything, just stares at you in a silent order. Pissed off, you cross your arms in front of your chest, stubborn.

"I'll not come in!"

Derek gets closer to you, giving you a deadly glare.

"Get in the car. Now."

You swallowed hard. Oh man, this part wasn't like the fanfics. It was not sexy at all. Actually, it's a bit scary.

Pissed off, you get in the car, and Derek closes the door, getting into the driver's seat. You look at Scott e Stiles through the window, thinking that maybe it would be better if you stay with them. However, you haven't a choice. All you have to do now is try not to be killed by the first supernatural threat that appears in Beacon Hills.

#teen wolf imagine #teen wolf imagines #teen wolf fanfics #teen wolf fics #teen wolf fanfic #derek hale imagine #derek hale imagines #derek hale x reader #derek hale fanfics #derek hale x you #derek hale x y/n #scott mccall imagines #scott mccall x you #scott mccall imagine #scott mccall x reader #stiles x y/n #stiles x reader #stiles stilinski imagine

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sketching-shark · 3 years

Note

LMK fandom: Oh, what do we do about this guy who has nothing but hurt Xiaotian, tried to replace Sun Wukong and his crew, hurt Tripitaka and ordered servants to cannibalize a monkey? Oh I know! We’ll turn him into our little meow meow~ he’s so innocent and Sun Wukong is obviously the villain!

What doesn’t help is this idea is perpetuated by multiple fan fic writers and artists for some reason. Especially some aus they make that turn SWK into a bastard for the sake of the story rather than considering cultural context and thinking they should be respectful.

And almost everyone lets them get away with it just because the art or fanfic is good and they get so popular that no one can point what is actually wrong without feeling like they’re going to get attacked.

I'm starting to feel like my blog is the one anons go to specifically to vent their frustrations about the Six Eared Macaque in his lego monkey show form & the associated fandom lmao. But I guess this makes sense, as I’ve had fun quasi-dragging him before & will in fact use this anon submission as an opportunity to have my own, to put it academically, bitch fest about not just this fandom's favorite protagonist-traumatizing meow meow, but about the way villains are often treated in not just fanon, but increasingly in canon works as well. But same policy as with the last anon; I'll post my opinions below the cut, and as fandoms love to say, don’t like don't read if you don't want to see me dunking on the six eared simian & common fandom tendencies towards villains.

Oh man I would say where would you even begin with this but anon you’ve pretty much started yourself with my main gripe with a lot of ways that the Six-Eared Macaque is portrayed in fandom; there seems to be this unspoken agreement that his acts of violence towards Sun Wukong, Qi Xioatian, and Qi Xioatian’s loved ones are either to be framed as somewhat or totally justified, to be immediately forgiven/excused, or to simply & completely be ignored. Like friends maybe this is just me not seeing the proper posts but while the fandom is inundated with art and fanfics of Macaque as a generally decent individual & a true member of team good guy, I have yet to see one person address the fact that this monkey literally kidnapped & mind-controlled Xiaotian’s best friend and father figures & forced them to brutalize Xiaotian while ol’ Six Ear looked on and laughed (X_X). Like this kind of fandom villain treatment is definitely not something that’s solely at work for Monkie Kid, but it is kind of nutty how fandoms will swing between yelling that people should be allowed to like villains without even mild critique, and then will just flat-out not address the villainous behavior, and will even bend over backwards to frame even characters who committed genocide as just poor innocent widdle victims who need a hug. At its worst, I’ve even seen tons of people in a fandom get really angry at other people who don’t like a villain, and will even start accusing those people of hating real-life mentally disabled or abused individuals all because they don’t like the fandom’s favorite literal war criminal. The Monkie Kid fandom is FAR more chill & better than a lot of other fandoms I’ve come across in that regard, but that is an exceedingly low bar, & the tendency to woobify certain kinds of villains-- as with Macaque and the extreme emphasis on his bad boy/sad boy thing--is very much at work.

I’ve also talked before about a kind of monoculturalization of certain character interpretations and story beats in fandoms, and one of the more popular ones that seems to be applied to Macaque a lot is the “hero actually bad, villain actually good” cliche, as observable from the general fandom assumption that Mr. Six-Ears he wasn’t even slightly lying or remembering things through a rose-tinted or skewed lens when he gave his version of his and Sun Wukong’s past. Like at this point it seems the possibility that people WILL NOT even consider is that Sun Wukong never did & still doesn't care that much about the Six Eared Macaque (in JTTW they weren’t sworn brothers & in Monkie Kid the only thing the monkey king really said to Macaque before attacking him was a pretty contemptuous "Aren't you ever going to get sick of living under my shadow?," & responds to his "beloved friend" getting blown up with "You did good, bud" to Qi Xiaotian, who did the exploding), or that their original fight may in fact have mostly been instigated by Macaque. After all, to repeat what this anon summarized & what I've said before about their original JTTW context (& in an example of the things that do feel like it's often lost in translation) is that the Six Ear Macaque was a villain not just because he beat up the Tang Monk, but because he wanted to take over Sun Wukong's entire life and identity so he could have all that glory, prestige, and power for himself. To quote the macaque himself from the Anthony C. Yu translation, "I struck the T'ang monk and I took the luggage...precisely because I want to go to the West all by myself to ask Buddha for the scriptures. When I deliver them to the Land of the East, it will be my success and no one else's. Those people of the South Jambudvipa Continent will honor me then as their patriarch and my fame will last for all posterity." And in order to do this, the Six Eared Macaque had apparently made Sun Wukong's "little ones," his monkey family, his captives through either trickery or force, and gotten a number of them to take on the appearance of Tang Sanzang and the other pilgrims. It's also made clear that in very direct contrast to Sun Wukong, he doesn't care about these monkeys beyond how they might serve him. In fact, after Sha Wujing kills the monkey posing as him the Six Eared Macaque not only all but immediately replaces him with another, but also "told his little ones to have the dead monkey skinned. Then his meat was taken to be fried and served as food along with coconut and grape wines." So this monkey is not only willing to risk the lives of a lot of other monkeys for his own personal benefit, but is also a literal cannibal. And yes yes, I know a lot of people have argued that Monkie Kid shouldn't be considered a direct sequel to JTTW & that's fair enough (for example, Sun Wukong probably shouldn't be smashing anyone into a meat patty in a children's cartoon lol). And of course, it needs to be noted that there are a buttload of really out there & really cursed pieces of media based on JTTW & that were created in China. Yet the above description is the oft-ignored in the west original facet of the Six Eared Macaque's character. And it is this selfishness, entitlement, and treatment of other individuals as tools for his own self-serving ends that is, from where I’m standing, still very much present in Monkie Kid. Like besides repeatedly going out of his way to physically and psychologically traumatize Xioatian, with the last episode Macaque seemed to be going right back to his manipulative ways. I’ve seen people frame their last conversation as Macaque softening to Xioatian a little bit, but personally that read a lot more like that common tactic among abusers where even after they’ve hurt you they’ll dangle something you want or need over your head (in Macaque’s case, the promise of desperately needed training and information about a serious looming threat), with the implication that you’ll only get it if you do what they want you to, such as, in this case, Xioatian going back to Macaque as his student even after having been so terribly hurt by this monkey, which would give Macaque power over Xiaotian and probably Sun Wukong as a result. And it is this violence and manipulation that it seems the fandom at large has tacitly decided shouldn’t even be addressed, instead leaning more towards a (and this is an exaggeration) “Six-Eared Macaque my poor meow meow Sun Wukong has always been bad & has always been wrong about literally everything” reading.

And while it is the case that I am not Chinese and feel that as such it would be best left to someone who actually comes from that background to provide more context into how common interpretations of the Six Eared Macaque from China may clash really badly with the stuff the western fandom creates, it also must be noted that, as much as we all want to have fun in fandom & in spite of all the out-there versions of JTTW from China, we westerners should recognize that there is a very long and very ugly history of western countries stripping other cultures’ important religious and literary works for parts & mashing them into their own thing while implying or even insisting that what they present provides a true understanding of the original piece. And while I trust most individuals in regards to Monkie Kid are able to step back and think “this is a lego cartoon and not a set guide for how I should understand JTTW” (especially given the insistence that JTTW and Monkie Kid should be considered there own separate works) there does nevertheless seem to be something of a tendency to take the conclusions people come to, for example, about Sun Wukong’s characteristic in his lego form & then assume that’s just reflective to Sun Wukong as a totality. I imagine a good portion of this is due to people not reading JTTW & especially to not having easy access to solid information or answers about JTTW’s many different facets (like geez awhile ago I was trying to get a clear answer on what is considered the most accurate translation of the names of Sun Wukong’s six sworn brothers & got like 5 different responses lmao), but that tendency to take a western fandom interpretation & run with it instead of doing any background research or questioning said interpretation is still very much at play. As such, & as made prominent in the way people have been interpreting the dynamic between Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque in the lego monkey show, tbh it does seem kind of shitty for western creators & audience to sometimes go really out of their way to ignore all of this original cultural & narrative context for the sake of Angst (TM) in Macaque's favor, demonizing Sun Wukong, and shipping the monkey king with his evil twin (X_X).

And speaking of which, even beyond the potential inherent creepiness & revulsion that can be inspired by this specific ship given common interpretations of the og classic's original meaning (again, it's my understanding, given both summaries of translated Chinese academic texts I've been kindly provided with, my own reading of the Anthony C. Yu translation of JTTW, & vents from a number of Chinese people I've seen on this site, that the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China as having originated from Sun Wukong himself as a living embodiment of his worst traits, hence why only Buddha can tell the difference between them & why the monkey king is much more slow to violence after he kills the macaque), I'd argue that in the face of all the uwu poor widdle meow meow portrayals lego show Macaque is, especially if you include JTTW's events, still in the role of “Sun Wukong but worse” as he is very much a violent & selfish creep. Like he was basically running around in JTTW wearing a Sun Wukong fursuit, but there he had the sole reason of wanting to replace Sun Wukong wholesale so he could have all the good things in the monkey king's life without actually having to work as hard for them. But if you combine that with Macaque now claiming that he used to be best friend with Sun Wukong in his pre-journey days (something that's made funny from a JTTW context given that that status actually belongs to the Demon Bull King lol), his original violence has now blown into this centuries long and really unhealthy obsession with the monkey king. Like he's apparently gone from wanting to literally be Sun Wukong to being so obsessed with getting revenge on Sun Wukong that he's got basically nothing else going on in his life. Like he's only appeared in two episodes but...does he have any friends? Any family? A career or even a hobby that DOESN'T center the monkey king? Anything at all outside of his "get revenge on and/or kill Sun Wukong/use his successor as my personal punching bag” thing? Like dude! That is extremely creepy and extremely bad for everyone all around! As I’ve said before, this seeming refusal to see beyond the past or to do something that doesn’t involve Sun Wukong in some capacity is a trait that makes Macaque an interesting and somewhat tragic villain--he even seems to be working as Sun Wukong’s reflection in a mirror darkly, with lego show Sun Wukong pretty clearly not being able to heal from his own past which is hinted to be defined by one loss after another, and with Monkie Kid even kind of having these two characters somewhat follow their JTTW characterizations in that in the latter half of the journey Sun Wukong often gets sad & starts crying in the face of what seems insurmountable odds (& Monkie Kid Sun Wukong does seem to be hiding some serious depression behind a cheerful facade), whereas the Six-Eared Macaque retains a worse version of Sun Wukong’s pre-journey characteristic of getting pissed and lashing out if things don’t go his way--but it’s also what would make any current friendship or romantic relationship between these monkeys horrific. Although to be fair even the fandom seems to recognize this in an unconscious way, in that a lot of the art & fanfic seems to swing erratically between them kissing & screaming at each other in yet another example of bog-standard fandom adulation of romanticized toxic relationships lol.

At the end of the day, of course, this is nothing new. You'll find versions of this dynamic across a ton of fandoms and now even canonical work. And as such, I can only look at this kind of popularized relationship dynamic with a kind of resigned weariness whenever it pops up, & my frustrated question with the popularity of this kind of pairing is the exact same one that I have for a multitude of blatantly toxic villain/hero ships, given common fandom discourse & the tendency to either ignore or justify the villain's actions & demonize the hero: if you're THAT convinced that everything is the hero's fault, if you believe THAT much that the hero is the one in the wrong for the villain's pain and their subsequent actions, then why are you so set on them not only becoming a romantic pair, but framing this get-together as a good thing? Like I know we contain multitudes but that's waaay too many contradictions for me to wrap my head around. And it definitely doesn’t help that one branch of underlying reasoning behind this kind of pairing seems to be the ever-present “you break it, you fix it” mentality, where the assumption is that if you’re in a failing, abusive, and/or generally toxic relationship (platonically or romantically), if you put in enough time and effort & attempts to compromise, you’ll be able to restore/have the relationship you dreamed of, even with someone who hurt you really badly. And this assumption isn’t limited to fandom: I’d even argue that it’s everywhere in the culture, hence why a lot of people feel like they “failed” if they have to get a divorce or make the choice to leave an unhealthy friendship. Personally, I feel like people could really benefit from more stories about how it is not only the case that the people you hurt don’t owe you their forgiveness & you can still become a better and happier person without the one you hurt in your life, & that while it can be really hard it can also be a good thing to leave a relationship, even if it’s one that once meant a lot to you.

But in all honestly, from my own perspective this kind of pairing is starting to read far less like enemies to lovers and far more like a horrible fantasy where you can pull whatever shit you want, even on the people you "love," & never be held accountable for your terrible behavior or even have to consider that maybe you were in the wrong. It's another facet that makes me larf every time I see people insist that fandom is an inherently "transformative" or "progressive" form of storytelling like friends you are literally just taking status quo toxic monogamy & rebranding it as somehow beneficial & romantic (X_X).

But as to anon’s last frustration, it is hard to know what is the appropriate response with this kind of thing...like for my own part I’m keeping my frustrations to my blog & now increasingly to posts that you would have to click on the “read more” button to see what I have to say, but I totally get the hesitation to give even a mild critique to big names in a fandom. Like I've now seen it happen repeatedly where someone who has a big name in a fandom will make something that's kind of shitty for one reason or another, someone will message them with some version of "hey, that's kind of shitty, you shouldn't do that," and the typical response is either to blatantly ignore the issue completely, or more popularly to make a giant crying circus that seems deliberately geared towards stoking emotions on both sides of the, for example, fiction does/doesn't affect reality issue so that something that didn't even have to be that big a deal gets blown out of all proportion, with the big name often framing what often started out as a very mild critique into a long crying jag about how the initial response to their kind of shitty thing was so mean/cruel and they're just a poor innocent & that YOU'RE the true racist/sexist/bigot etc. if you don't agree with their opinion. It must of course be noted that there have also been numerous instances of people taking it too far the other way & sending not just big names but smaller creators literal deaths threats over stuff like innocuous ships which like holy hell bells people that’s a horrible thing to do. But for the big names at least, the end result of all this fighting is usually that once the dust has settled they have more attention/fame/money/power in the fandom than before, and with anyone who might have a problem with their stuff feeling afraid to voice their opinion lest they be swarmed by that person's fans. In that way fandom does often seem to increasingly be geared towards presenting an “official” fandom perspective about various facets of a piece of media instead of allowing for a multitude of interpretations, and with criticism, no matter its shape or form or how genuinely warranted it may be, being hounded out of existence. I feel like a lot of this could be made less bad if there wasn’t this constant assumption & even drive to think that a different interpretation of or criticism of your favorite work of fiction or your fanwork isn’t a direct claim that you are a thoroughly loathsome individual (& maybe also if people cultivated an enjoyment of learning things about important works from a culture outside their own, even if what you learn clashes with your own initial understandings), but I guess we’ll see if that ever happens.

So these are my general thinks about the Six Eared Macaque’s current fandom meow meow status & some of my bigger gripes with fandom tendencies as a whole. I stand by my idea that the most interesting & beneficial route for Macaque moving forward would be a kind of “redemption without forgiveness from the ones you hurt” arc--as I think was done pretty excellently with the character Grace in Infinity Train--and if for no other reason than gosh dern this monkey really needs to cultivate some sort of identity beyond his “Sun Wukong but worse” persona.

#lmk macaque #monkie kid macaque #6 eared macaque #monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #qi xiaotian #lmk monkey king #sun wukong #monkey king #journey to the west #jttw #fandom criticism #lmk

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bluesmuses · 2 years

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About and Guidelines

The Admin

Hey! I'm Blue, she/her, 25+

I don’t always respond or respond to ic or ooc things quickly because I’m easily distracted or I’m just tired/forget. It doesn't mean I'm uninterested.

PLEASE don’t reblog RPs, HCs, or Art from my roleplay blogs if you’re not involved!

General RP Guidelines. Easily summarized by ‘if we mutually respect each other we’ll be fine’ but here’s some specifics just in case.

We do not have to be mutuals to interact, but mutuals will be my first priority. Sometimes I am very slow to follow back, or I don’t at all; I try to keep up with my dashboard and have to be a little selective to avoid being overwhelmed. Also, sometimes I unfollow if I just don't vibe with some of your content, it does not mean I don't like you and don't want to write with you.

For OCs and AU or canon divergent characters, I look for an about page to learn about them. I can't go to a wikipage to research for these cases, and my interest will be determined from what is provided. Other than that, I will browse to see if I feel comfortable with your content, whether or not I can see us interacting, and other preferences outlined in my rules, just like I do for canon character blogs.

No godmodding– do not repeatedly control my character. Knowing private things about my character without an explanation/discussion is also uncool.

My reply length and speed responding is based on my inspiration, and I do drop things if I don’t know how to reply or get overwhelmed.

I need reasonable grammar to work with, even if English is not your first language– if I cannot understand, I won’t know how to respond.

I prefer to discuss super heavy content in advance, whether one or both of our muses are the focus.

Due to how chaotic dash commentary can become, I try not to make it too often unless an interaction is clearly public (or loud), but even then, it's not intended to be taken seriously, unless you want it to become an interaction.

Some of my muses are more volatile in nature than the rest. Them showing anger or threatening does not mean I will ever write a serious physical attack on your muse without asking permission/talking with you first.

While I do relate to some of my characters, that does not necessarily mean I agree with their actions, biases, or always consider them to be right. Mun does not equal muse, and if something ic hurts you ooc, please do not be afraid to tell me.

Shipping, platonic, familial, romantic, etc

I tag any romantic ships for anyone who wants to blacklist them, and I prefer that others do the same. Sometimes I also just don’t care for certain ships, and even if it’s joking, I don’t want to see it.

Romantic shipping is not a primary focus for me and I’m very picky due to some past experiences, so I don't ship casually. I will ask about it if I feel my muse could/is falling for yours after they’ve interacted for a while and I’ve gotten to know you. At the same time, if I do not think it is working out, I will try to talk to you to work through it or to back out from it.

Also, I’m not going to assume you’re force shipping if your muse is crushing on/falls for one of my muses, that’s totally alright.

Other specific relationships greatly developed with friends will be for them and their version of that muse alone. I will not expect the same from someone else’s version, and I hope you will not expect that from me either. Each is their own thing, not just in romantic instances.

Tags I use for things that might be uncomfortable. If ever miss something that bothers you specifically, please ask me to tag it/tag it in the future for you and I will!

death tw – some of my muses have seen death or aRE MURDEROUS

angst tw – non specific, if it hurts my heart I’ll tag this, such as very depressing content

blood tw, injury tw – self explanatory

gun tw – multiple of my muses use firearms, like firearms, or both

alcohol tw – some of my muses drink or may reference drinking

suggestive – occasionally used for sensual implications

#rulepage #I sincerely hope this will make things easier on mobile ppl

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melloian · 3 years

Text

Miraculous Ladybug Reboot Explanation

Alright, so i thought about that a summary or short passage about my Au as whole wasn’t enough explanation. Au introduction page was just little so, i wanted to explain more.

What is Miraculous Ladybug Reboot?

Miraculous ladybug reboot is an Au where its a mixture of the original and the concepts but in my own take/version of it.

Why you made Miraculous Ladybug Reboot?

Am late to the party but, Miraculous Ladybug has been going down hill lately. They continuously ruining characters and milking this series. They think its funny to show Marinette being a creep 24/7. And Adrien clearly have little personality and hardly show him (its really bad now in season 4, though lies show his own screentime.) Worst part, Thomas astruc can’t take criticism and blocks people (am aware some people attacks him for no reason). So i decided to make this that kinda erase the terrible things that happened in Miraculous Ladybug.

About Miraculous Ladybug Reboot

(copied and pasted from Au Introduction page)

14 years old teenage girl name Marinette Dupain-Cheng was once a normal student at Françoise Dupont Highschool. One day, Marionette was helping with parents by cleaning the attic. Marinette found a music box on the floor. She look around, decided to pick it up, and put it in her pocket. Afterwards, she decided to open the box in the her room, finding black earrings inside. She decided to try on the earrings and suddenly a creature came out of the box. The creature introduced themselves as Tikki and explained those earrings. Afterwards, Marinette decided to become a superhero known as Ladybug.

Changes

Both of the main characters getting equal amount of screentime

if the show was really about feminisms, then they show that woman and man equal. Both strong in both ways doesn’t matter. This also includes screentime.

Removing Marinette's creepiness and suffering.

(yes am using this picture, still the worst thing i ever seen in this entire show)

Her being obsessive creepy stalker is obviously not ok and teaches kids to think that doing this is ok. So am just going remove that, and keep the idea that she have a crush on him.

other thing that’s wrong if the fact they just keep making Marinette suffer and have too much stress for a teenager. She does too much work for hero, does bakery, babysits and etc. The worse of all is making her guardian. because of all this, she had to tell Alya her secret for emotional support (or something else). Am removing this because its too much stress for teen and it makes me think she have suicidal thoughts and just keeping a smile on her face around people.

Speaking of Guardian...

Marinette will not be a Guardian

Yea, i see nothing good about her being a guardian. If anything it ruins the outcome of the entire point of love square. Even worst, she’ll just forgot Adrien anyway if she quits being guardian.

Not so much heroes

Having too many heroes takes too much time with just saying. You can’t really develop all those heroes at all. So i have shorten it out to only 5.

Chloe actually having a Development

Look idc if a creator makes a character go through Treason arc. However, the way Chloe arc was written, it definitely wasn’t a Treason arc. If anything it looked like a development but the team acting like she never had one. So am just going to do the bully to antihero to hero arc scenario.

Lila being a part of the main antagonist

So basically i wanted her to be the one who starts a rival but is truly a villain who secretly hiding something from everyone.

People is not going get akumantized repeatedly as different forms instead some one else get akumantized.

I rather for the person to be akumantized either once or twice. Not the 100th time. It makes hawk moth look like a joke. So i will make it where Hawk Moth would give up the person after once or twice and attempts to find some one who can be strong enough to beat Ladybug or chat noir.

When Hawk moth defeated, there be another main villain.

There be 7 main villains in total. All them deals with controlling some one emotion. Expect for the last one, which is like the “final” boss of the series.

Nathalie being anti-villain but still the antagonist

I wanted to see if i can write assistant betraying their boss. At the same time, being evil just for the sake of their boss. Sorry gabenath shippers.

Some adults being smart for once.

Can we just agree that most of the adults in this show shares the same braincell awhile all the teenagers are smart? Idk, they just easily gullible to lila’s lie and expel Marinette without any proof or something to know she did it.

There’s not just controlled villains, there’s villains just being villains.

Not every villain is going akumantized, in fact, there will be villains who just evil on their own. They pretty much attack the city and stuff like akumanzatied villains do. This is so that it will balance out the akumanzations.

The villains usually comes in a certain time. Like day, afternoon, noon, or night.

Specials are apart of the story, the heroes will learn something, and the heroes will later will come back.

If the heroes going go to different cities, i want them to at least learn something from it.

Unifications would not exist for other kwamis, it will only for 2 kwamis only which its definitely not the ladybug or cat miraculous.

Unifications are op not going lie. There’s no weakness between the powers or weaken the other. The weakness it have is making the user go out of control if consume too many kwamis. I might be wrong though.

So i will only use it for 2 kwamis only (which is not going be said for right now).

Alya not being a hardcore Adrien x Marinette shipper

It gets annoying if your bestfriend really wants you and your crush to be together so badly and forces you into uncomfortable spots where your crush is at. Even your friend becomes a hypocrite for a straight minute. I have to erase this so that Alya can be actual friend.

Gay characters that are in relationship actually treated like a relationship instead of a very good best friend thing.

I just want to them actually feel like they in actual relationship.

The guardians mentor their heroes if they have soon experienced enough.

I don’t know, wang fu doesn’t really train anyone or be a good guardian for once. Now he’s gone.

Zoe being an secret agent instead of a hero

Before you call me a zoe hater, i just want to say this. Zoe entire existence doesn’t make sense. She was never mentioned in the show until season 4. Audrey cheating also doesn’t add up either and causes more plot holes. So i made it where zoe is secret agent from new york who was tasked to go France. She lied about being chloe’s half sister (and other things) just so she get near to her mission. Which leads to another villain soon.

Felix not being a cousin nor evil

I don’t like how they made felix evil at all. It just feels like insult for the fans who asked him to be in it in the first place. So i made Felix Adrien's brother whose not evil but just gloomy.

Stormy weather being a separate entity

I think it will be cool to see her as a separate villain instead of akumantized one.

Some characters will be either changed or deleted.

Characters will be changed since it is a reboot thing, however some may be deleted because i either don’t like them, can’t find a way how to write them, or they seem pointless character in general.

Viperion is still exist but in a different way

i think its best not to explain this one until later

Superheroes (not miraculous heroes) were created by a mage.

I think is best to not explain this one either until later

Added things

Species

There’s going be more species instead of Superhumans, Kwamis, and Humans. It so that the universe can be expanded.

Dimensions

(lol portals)

Dimensions existed for bigger plot points in the story. It also another way to expand the universe some how. The only way to enter dimensions is by portals or keys.

Types of kwamis

There will be types of kwamis. Like animal kwami, mythical kwami, dark kwami, hoilday kwami and corrupted kwami.

There will also be guardian for each type.

More types of akumanzation/amokzations

As i said eariler, there be more villains with more controlling type powers.

Daroness

Daroness is faraway villain that is owned by Rodrigue. Hawk moth works there as the chairman, making missions for the villains that works for him. However, he doesn’t akumantize people in this place, he does it in his lair instead. Welp, that’s all for now. Thanks for reading :)

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years

Text

Full Moon ~ JJK [M] [Request]

➳➳➳Word count: 6.1K

➳➳➳Genre: Smut, AU, fantasy, tiny microscopic angst,

➳➳➳Pairing: Werewolf!Jungkook x Reader

➳➳➳A/N: I changed it a lot as I had just recently read a fic in the same way you asked me to write it and I didn't want to get into trouble by having something similar. That being said I fell totally in love with this and now I'm obsessed with werewolf protective jungkook like wtf. This is a genre I haven't tried before though and I know you said Hybrid so I hope this counts? I know people sometimes say that you still have your tail and things like that but it's not something I would be comfortable with. Hope this is okay. Love you

➳➳➳Warnings: Mentions blood, biting, smut (obviously), breeding.

"There's been another attack!" Someone screamed as they walked over to you and your friend, you were walking through the college campus you turned to look and see Mieko one of your closest friends rushing over and panting out of breath.

"Another attack?" You questioned as you pulled your bag off your shoulder and dug around inside for a bottle of water that you always carried around with you, you were the mum of the friend group so everyone knew they could come to you when they were in dire need or something. A snack, a drink, band-aid, first aid kit, pocket knife and the occasional cheat sheet to a test that you'd stolen from your history teacher when he wasn't paying attention to you.

"Thanks," She began downing the liquid before leaning against your shoulder for some kind of support, she whipped out her phone scrolling through her Facebook timeline to show you what she was talking about and you rolled your eyes,

"You know, not everything you read on Facebook is-Oh." You stopped yourself once you saw that it was a real report from a real news station, you began reading through what the article was talking about, apparently, the attack was one of 20 in the last two days. All of the attacker's victims lived to talk about what happened to them, talking about how a man would lore them to an old parked car or they would feel like they were being watched all night before waking up the next day in pain from beatings remembering nothing from the attack itself. It was nothing if not strange to you that so many people had been attacked without recollection of the actual attack happening.

"They're calling a curfew for everyone in the university, we have to be back at our dorms before 9 pm or it'll result in expulsion." She had finally caught her breath and was walking without leaning against you so you handed her phone back to her.

"Well, sucks to be me because I have to help Mr SeokJin with Art History grading and then I have night classes in the library with English teacher Mr Kim Namjoon." You told them pulling the bag back on over your shoulder and looking down at your schedule for the day,

"Why do you have to be so good at everything? God, you're exactly like Jungkook." Mieko mumbled rolling her eyes at you, they always mentioned this boy. Jungkook. But you'd never seen him before, probably because you both had super tight compact schedules that neither of you liked to stray from though apparently, you had one class together not that you would know if he was there because you had no idea what he looked like.

"You're always going on about him, why don't you just ask him out?" You teased poking Mieko in the side but she scoffed at you,

"He's an idiot, cold to everyone he meets and just shoves everyone off unless you're in his close friendship circle." You made a fake pitty face at her and she shoved you against the door of the entranceway to the Art building, you were running late for class and if you were late one more time that week Mr Seokjin would have you fired as his PA and Jimin, the teacher's pet would gladly take your place.

"I'm late! I'll see you back at the dorms later, save me some dumplings!" You called as you ran off back down the hall not paying attention to where you were walking and rushing straight into someone's arms, you could have sworn they growled at you so you looked up to see who it was when your eyes landed on another pair that were staring you down.

"Sorry, Jungkook! She wasn't looking where she was going, she's a clutz!" You shot Mieko a glare and she ran off in the opposite direction of her class, probably skipping to go and find someone else to torture.

"I am sorry, I'm just late-"

"You should watch where you're walking then instead of barging into everyone with your back!" He snapped making you flinch a little, you nodded gripping the strap of your bag tightly and going to walk the rest of the way to class. Jungkook stared you down as he watched you walking down the hall, trying to see where you were going when he heard Taehyung calling his name. He shook his head and walking over to his friend who was rubbing his stomach,

"I'm starving, what time are we hunting tonight?" He grumbled at the older alpha who was staring at him, Jungkook hated that he was the leader of the pack that they had especially since Taehyung was older than him and so were the rest of the boys with them but it just fell down to him since he was born a wolf, it was his birthright according to his grandfather.

"After curfew and I have the perfect bait for us tonight." He smirked darkling putting his arm around the Omega walking him down through the halls to go and find the rest of his pack.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like a ride home Y/n?" Mr Kim Namjoon asked as you walked out of the library together and into the hallway of the History building, the whole place was deserted except for a couple of guards on shift and tutors who were heading home for the day.

"It's fine, I'm just a three-minute walk away sir," Namjoon said goodbye to you and walked in the direction of the car park. You pulled the strap of your bag over your shoulder and took out your phone to text Mieko to let her know you were on your way when you heard something moving behind you. You slowed down something everyone screamed at people for in horror movies but you were curious about what it was, then images of the news article flashed through your head and you clutched onto your bag tightly picking up the pace to get to your dorm.

A twig snapped and your head span around to see something blur in your version darting into the nearby woods near the college, you should have taken the ride. You regretted it instantly and you couldn't type on your phone because your hands were shaking so much,

"Shit." You whispered as you came towards the alleyway you needed to go down to get to your dorm. You prayed whoever it was following you would just leave you alone as you walked down the alley but whoever it was wasn't giving up, they proceed to follow you until you were deep inside the alley where no one could see you if they looked inside.

You felt a hand clutch onto your wrist before a loud growl sounded through the air echoing off the walls and making your legs shake. You were dragged onto the floor and you tried to beat whoever or whatever it was off your body but they were ragging you about from side to side. You opened your eyes to see bright red ones glaring back at you, attached to the eyes was a huge dog with black fur that was growling heavily and biting into your side repeatedly, you began screaming as loudly as you could hoping someone would hear you and try to rescue you but no one was coming. You started hitting the beast with your fists, bag and phone anything to get it off you but it wasn't budging, you could feel a burning sensation in your side where it had its jaws around you. You jammed the beast in the eye with your elbow and it let out a yelp, letting you go just enough so you could scramble off down the alley and towards your dorms where you banged loudly for Mieko to come and get you.

"Look, I'm telling you I don't remember anything." You said to the policeman who was interviewing you, you were sat up in the University's hospital wing after a nurse had patched you up and called them to report a crime had happened.

"You don't remember anything?" You shook your head and the man grumbled something before leaving you alone, you laid back down against the white sheets and stared up at the ceiling. What were you going to tell people? That a giant dog came out of nowhere and decided to use you as a chew toy? They'd lock you up and throw away the key, at least now you knew why everyone who was attacked before you said they forgot. You wished you'd forgotten, you had the image of the giant red eyes burnt into the back of your head, giving you a headache whenever you thought about them and the way he moved you around. It was bigger than the average dog and known wolves in the area, it was as if it was something straight from a fantasy book but fantasy books weren't real...were they?

Jungkook walked along the hallways with Taehyung and Jimin either side of them, giant smirks across their faces walking around as if they ruled the place.

"Did you hear about Y/n?" Jungkook heard someone mutter behind him, thanks to him being a wolf he had different abilities in and out of his shape. The heightened hearing was just one of many and he used it wisely,

"What happened?" A concerned voice rang out,

"Mieko found her bleeding out on the curb of their dorm, whimpering about something attacking her." Jungkook looked at the Omega's to see if they'd heard anything but they were either not bothered or hadn't heard what the girls were whispering to one another.

"Stay here." He mumbled leaning against some lockers so he could keep an ear on the conversation, he wanted to know what had happened and why you had survived much like all the other people someone had been attacking at night.

"She's in the hospital wing, they're going to keep her overnight until she's stable again. Mieko said it happened right in the alley near their dorm." Jungkook took off in a sprint leaving Jimin and Taehyung alone and confused in the halls, Jungkook hated the fact that he couldn't use his speed ability out of wolf form but he was fast enough without all four legs he knew where your dorm was, he'd heard Mieko talk about it enough in the classes they shared together.

Hissing as you sat up you looked around the hospital room for something to entertain yourself with, your phone was missing along with your laptop so you were awaiting the college to send you a replacement until a new one could be funded to you.

"Miss Y/n?" You looked over at the door to see the nurse who had stitched you together was standing there,

"A guest." You nodded and she moved out of the way letting Mr Kim Namjoon into the room, he walked over to you and sighed.

"I'm so sorry Y/n if I'd have insisted I take you home this never would have happened." He grumbled looking at you with pitty full eyes he felt terrible for not insisting you get into the car with him.

"It's not your fault sir," He nodded and held up the roses that he'd brought along with him, he knew how dreadful the hospital in the university could be and he wanted to liven the place up for you.

"I'll put these in here and go, I have a class." Just as he was reaching for the door handle the door swung open and Jungkook stood there, your eyes widened as he stared at you from the doorway.

"Ah I see you have another visitor, I'll see you next week back in my class." You looked down not wanting to make awkward eye contact with Jungkook but if you had looked up you would have seen the two of them having a stare off while Namjoon left the room. Neither of them blinking until the door was shut and the other was out of sight and out of mind.

"How are you feeling?" You stared at Jungkook once again as he stood beside your bed, your eyes locked onto the bag he was carrying and you realised it was yours.

"Where did you-"

"I went to the alley you were attacked in, your phone is a little broken." He handed you the red iPhone and you groaned looking at the smashed up screen, you put it down on the bedside table reaching for some water when Jungkook noticed the bandage around your waist.

"Why didn't you tell the police the truth?" You stared at him and he poured you a glass of water, handing it to you and watching as you carefully took it from his hands.

"I told them everything I knew." He shook his head at you,

"No you didn't, you told them you don't remember anything and trust me no one forgets something like that you went through." You stared at him with a blank expression, he pulled a chair up to your bed and checked the watch on his wrist.

"You can pretend all you want but we don't have all day." You looked down at the cup of water in your hand trying not to think on the fiery eyes that stared at you, your eyes began to tear up and Jungkook knew what you were feeling. He'd seen the same thing with Jimin and Taehyung but he'd never had a female before,

"It was huge," You started, you had no idea why but there was something about Jungkook that made you feel as though you could trust him with everything and he wouldn't think you were crazy.

"It had these giant red eyes and then it-It's fur it was black and matted." Jungkook knew instantly who and what had attacked you the night before and he knew there was nothing he could do to prevent what was going to happen to you that night.

" I can't explain it all here, it's not safe but we need to get you out of this hospital bed and to my place as soon as possible." You scoffed in his direction and put the cup of water down,

"It's that how you get all the girls Jungkook?" He was shocked at how you were speaking to him at first, normally girls would swoon at his feet and obey whatever he told them and he put that down to the wolf charm but not you. You didn't seem to care about it but he figured it was because you would be changing soon,

"Listen to me, did that bite burn when that thing did what it did?" You thought about it for a couple of seconds before nodding, he leant forward and moved the bandage away from where the bite should have been but it was completely gone.

"That's-"

"Impossible? Yes, it's called healing and I'll tell you more if you come with me." Your mind was telling you that you couldn't trust him or anyone else but there was something about him that was luring you in, your heart and soul both screaming at you that this was right and this was what you were supposed to do.

"How do I know you didn't do this to me..."

"Do I look like a giant wolf to you?" You shook your head at him but remembered all of the old folk stories,

"Wolves shift in the day." He smirked at you for knowing your stuff, you weren't as stupid as he first thought you were.

"If it was me I wouldn't have let you go so you could become like us...No one deserves this life, it's hell." He sat you up in the bed and handed you one of the University hoodies from the shelf and then some sweatpants.

"Like us?" He sighed promising to explain everything once he got you to a safer place,

"Am I going to die?" He felt his heartbreak as you stared up at him with tearful eyes, he shook his head at you.

"Not if I have anything to do with it."

If someone had told you that you would have been changed up in a basement by the end of that day you never would have believed them,

"So what happens when the moon is up?" You questioned watching as Jungkook walked around the basement to make sure the chains were secure, there was one on each of your ankles and then one on each of your wrists keeping you in place.

"You change...Into one of us." He answered looking over at the basement door as it opened, Jimin walked down the stairs to give Jungkook a case of water and he spotted you.

"Y/n was the one they attacked last night?" You stared at him as he placed the water down on the floor, he dropped to his knees and walked closer to you taking a sniff of your hair and pulling back.

"She's not mine." He smirked looking over at Jungkook who was looking away from the scene in front of you,

"What? You haven't checked?"

"Checked? Checked what?" Your voice came out panicked and Jimin tutted shaking his head and turning to look at you,

"You could be his mate or Taehyung's mate who knows, everything happens for a reason Jungkook." With that, he left the basement slamming the door behind him,

"Mate? As in..." Jungkook nodded and you bit down on your lip ignoring the tension that was now filling the air, Jungkook didn't need to check he'd known since you'd walked into him yesterday that you were his mate. He should have walked you home last night to make sure nothing happened to you, he should have been there to protect this from ever happening but now here you were getting ready to change into what he was.

"How come you're not in chains again?" You questioned trying to get rid of the awkwardness that was hanging in the air,

"We can control out shifting, we can change whenever we want but you're new and it's going to be a long time before you can learn to control anything happening inside of you while you're in your wolf form." He walked over to you and looked at the watch, it was almost time. He attached another chain around your neck and you stared at him through your eyelashes.

"Is it going to hurt?" He stayed silent wanting to spare you of the gory details, it was something he'd hated when he first transformed.

"That's a yes." You whispered leaning back against the cold concrete wall behind you,

"I'll change as soon as you do, we can communicate through thoughts so just pay attention to me."

Jungkook watched as you screamed out in anguish, another crack sounded through the air as your arm broke in several places the chains clanging against the floor. Your back arched away from the ground and you let out a shriek in pain as it snapped in one place only to do it again in several other places, your whole body was on fire and you could feel every muscle shaking and bending as something took over inside of you. Then within seconds, the pain was gone and you were staring at Jungkook at a new angle,

"You're okay, it's over." You stared at him as he shook his body once falling down onto all fours and becoming a huge wolf creature in front of you, you tugged at the chains with your paw to get out but it wasn't going to budge. Jungkook had used the same ones wit Jimin and Taehyung and they were triple your size.

"I'm hungry..."

"You will be, Jimin and Taehyung will be back soon. Try to suppress the thoughts with something else." You thought back on all the assignments that were due in next week and you heard Jungkook chuckle from inside of your head,

"You're thinking about homework?"

"Always, it's important."

"You're worse than me." Jungkook went on to explain that that was why he was taking all the extra classes, the extra work kept his mind off of wanting to rip everyone's head off and eat them. While it also kept it from having a social life outside of the pack, he never wanted anyone else to go through this.

"Dinner is served." A deer's body was dropped down on the floor in front of you by a brown-haired wolf with black eyes,

"That one's Tae, he's shy but he'll get used to you." Taehyung left and changed back into his human form upstairs complaining to Jimin that you weren't his mate either.

"Do I just-"

"Let your instincts take over. Once you've fed it'll be easier to control yourself." You threw yourself down biting and tearing into the skin of the animal and he was right, it was as if your body knew what to do without you telling it to.

After that night of changing things changed at home, you couldn't live with Mieko anymore and started to shut her out Jungkook had convinced you it was for the best if you stayed away from her. You didn't want to accidentally kill her or change her into what you were, you moved into the house Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook were living in and started to only interact with them at school. That was a month ago and the full moon was coming up, Jungkoo still hadn't told you what he knew you were to him but he knew it was going to be hard to hide this time around it was already hard enough as it was to keep his hands off you and to stop himself from jumping on anyone that came near you. The alpha instincts around his mate were always stronger than anything else inside of him and it was hard to control but you didn't know he was your mate and he didn't want to tell you.

"Y/n? You ready?" Jimin asked from the doorway watching to see if you were following him,

"Be right there." You called back to him sliding everything into your bag, it was getting late and the moon would be coming up soon so Jungkook wanted you back at the house as soon as possible, it was going to be your first change without the chains on.

"Miss Y/l/n?" You looked over your shoulder to see Mr Kim Namjoon watching you and Jimin closely,

"May I speak with you a second?" You flung the bag over your shoulder and he walked over to your desk, leaning against it and staring down at you.

"You ought to be careful with who you associate yourself with." His hands traced along yours as it rested against your chest, you snapped it away from him feeling uneasy about the touch.

"Jimin and his friendship group they're not exactly the best of their kind," His eyes flashed a bright red colour and you stumbled backwards knocking a chair down in the process, Jimin was by your side within seconds and he was staring at Namjoon who was staring back at him.

"The pathetic little alpha sends an Omega to collect his cum rag, that's funny." Namjoon chuckled deeply without another word Jimin pulled you out of the classroom both of you rushing in silence to get out to Taehyung's car,

"Cum rag? Who the fuck does he think he is?!" You let out a growl by accident and your eyes were starting to illuminate a little as you got angrier,

"Y/n," Taehyung warned reminding you you were inside of a car and no the basement where it was safe to change, but the anger inside of you kept growing inside of you as you thought of him insulting Jungkook like that.

"What happened?!" Jungkook yelled as you were walked into the basement by Jimin and Taehyung, you sat against the floor growling into your hands at the mere thought of Namjoon.

"I think he changed her as well, his eyes Jungkook...They were red and he seemed to know that you were her mate." Your ears picked up on that word again and you watched as Jungkook tensed up.

"I'll fix it, go and hunt for something to eat you haven't had anything all week." You'd managed to feed your cravings by eating a copious amount of beef burgers and steaks when you didn't have to change.

"Mate?" Jungkook turned to look at you and nodded, he knew the time was coming where he would have to explain it all to you but he would rather go off and find Namjoon first, kill him for doing what he did to you.

"Namjoon did this to you, he's the reason you're in this mess." You looked up to see his eyes were filled with tears and you walked over to him taking his face in your hands to make him stare at you,

"Jungkook I'm fine, look at me." He stared at you, the urge to kiss you was growing stronger and he could tell you wanted him to by the way your legs squeezed together and the way you kept licking your bottom lip.

"You're perfect." He mumbled before crashing his lips against yours, his hands gripped onto the back of your neck pulling you closer to him there was something that changed inside of you and it was like you were feral, you never wanted him to stop kissing you ever again but your body was craving more from him. His lips moved down to your neck and you moaned out in pleasure at the feeling of him sucking along the exposed skin,

"Fuck, we can't." He pushed you away and you whimpered looking at him with hurt in your eyes,

"Why not?" He looked at you and then at the watch realising you hadn't even changed yet and then checked his watch again maybe it was too fast there was no way you had control over your changing abilities yet.

"Jungkook kiss me." You whispered to him bringing him closer to you, he took one sniff of your scent and almost fell to his knees ready to take you but it was too dangerous, you were in heat and the moon was full anything could happen. You weren't stable,

"I need you," You whined out in his ear and he grabbed you once more kissing you roughly and slamming you against the wall behind you, you shrieked happily as his hands worked their way up and down your body tripping the shirt from your chest.

"My favourite shirt," You fake pouted against his lip,

"Shut up," He mumbled against your lips biting down on your bottom lip and dragging it with his teeth, everything inside of him knew this was wrong and it could fuck everything up but he needed you and you needed him.

"I need more." You whimpered and he knew what you wanted, what you both wanted but once you started there was no stopping.

"Oh god, I want you to...I want to fuck you until you're full up pup but-" You kissed him once again to shut him up and he relaxed a little more letting your lips relaxing his body, you pushed him back and dropped to your knees in front of him.

"I want what I want," You whispered to him undoing his jeans and pulling them down his legs, he nervously looked up at the basement door and prayed Jimin and Taehyung had left to hunt and weren't going to come down and find this scene unfolding in front of them.

"Shit." He grunted as you took him into his mouth, there were no words to describe how he was feeling the way your tongue worked around his member, licking and sucking every bit of him you could but what you couldn't you used your hands to massage, he was letting out whimpers as his head fell back.

"Just like that, shit." He grunted his hand going into your hair and biting his tongue resisting the urge to slam his cock down your throat, he knew he had to be gentle with you he could smell it on you that you'd never done something like this before.

"Lay down baby." You took him from your mouth with a pop and he smirked ripping your jeans off your body and throwing them somewhere within the basement, he didn't care all he cared about was you. Tasting you and having you all to himself, he licked a stripe up your folds and you moaned at the new sensation, all of this was new to you but it felt right,

"Jungkook." You whined out not wanting to be teased, you wanted him to mount you and not stop until you were screaming out his name,

"I know baby but once I've started I won't be able to stop until I'm done." You nodded at him as a sign that you understood and it was what you wanted and he kissed you, slowly easing himself into you as you whimpered out. You could feel him stretching you out from the very first push and your nails dug into his back dragging down and you were positive if you didn't have super healing powers it would scar him.

"Fuck you're so tight." He grunted as he finally submerged himself all the way inside of you in the missionary position, not something that was common among your kind, holding himself in place until you were ready for him to start moving. You gave him a nod and he kissed your forehead promising you he would be as gentle as possible with you but once you felt you were used to his small and light thrusts you begged him to go faster,

"F-Faster Kookie, I can take it." You whispered in his ear but he shook his head,

"I can't, you'll break." You whimpered as continued his tiny thrusts, you knew there was something to make him move but you didn't want to risk him stopping altogether.

"N-Namjoon called me your cum rag, said you were a 'pathetic alpha'." You managed to say through grunts his thrusting stopped and he stared down at you, he knew what you were trying to do and it was working.

"Fuck, you're going to kill me." He grunted pulling out of you only to slam back into you at a rough pace making your back arch back as he finally hit the spot you'd been needing him in.

"Right there." You whimpered within a matter of seconds already feeling yourself coming to your first orgasm, there was a pit in your stomach that was starting to grow with every thrust,

"Don't stop." You stuttered out as his thrusts became faster, he smirked watching you come undone underneath him he'd never imagined for a second you would be like this with him. He thought you would be a shy and fragile girl like you were before but this was something else.

"I think- Ugh fuck- I think I'm close." You panted out and he could smell that you were, you began clenching around him and he grunted picking up his pace a little more so he could get you to the edge, he bit down on your neck drawing blood and smirking as you let out yelps of pleasure.

"Cum for me pup," You yelped out as you felt your orgasm rush through your body sending shock waves throughout you, your legs were shaking and your hands were shaking as they latched onto Jungkook's hair tugging a little as he continued his vigorous thrusts into you not stopping just because you'd come around him. You screamed out his name as he continued to thrust into you, the pain from just finishing was slowly starting to be subsidised by pleasure once again as you felt the belt-tightening once more,

"J-Junkookie." You whimpered and he smirked down at you kissing your lips and pulling back, he pulled out of you and flipped you over onto all fours, he couldn't take the human position anymore, he needed you on all fours so he could fuck you properly like the dogs you were inside.

"Shit." You hiccuped as he thrust into you hitting spots that were left untouched before, you gripped onto the ground as his hips pushed into yours, one of his hands gripping onto your hips and digging in so deep it was drawing blood.

"I'm close Y/n." He grunted as he continued to fuck you in the way it felt natural to him, you whimpered in agreement letting him know you were too by clenching around him and he smirked,

"C-Cum inside me, please." You whined out underneath him arching your back as you felt your release coming nearer and nearer, he faltered for a second before picking up his pace again not wanting to stop, hearing you tell him what you wanted sent him closer to his edge.

"What do you want little pup?" He asked coaxing you into telling him again you let out a whimper as you were going to have to say it again,

"Finish inside me, I need you inside of me. Everything, just-" You couldn't finish because he pulled your hair so he could kiss you as he fucked into you,

"There's no going back if I do this Y/n." He warned as he felt himself getting closer, he kissed your neck lovingly wanting nothing more than to finish inside of you and claim you as his own but he had to make sure you were sure first.

"Make me yours," You whimpered and he pulled out once again bringing you back to the human position you had started in, he wanted to look at you as he claimed you and made you his. He wanted this to be romantic and not as though he was stealing something away from you,

"S-Shit I think I might." He grunted throughout his sentence staring down into your eyes as you stared back up into his smirking at him as he brought you closer for your second and final orgasm of the night.

"You might what?" You giggled up at him and it was like music to his ears, he felt his balls throb as he almost finished at the sound of your giggle.

"Shit, d-do that again." He begged, watching as you giggled beneath him once more his thrusts picked up once more as he felt his pleasure coming to an end,

"I'm g-gonna cum, cum for me okay?" You nodded at him and he smirked kissing your lips softly pulling away to make eye contact with you as you begged him to fill you up, it's what you needed and what your body was begging for.

"S-Shit." He grunted hitting your spot in just the right way that you clenched around him tighter than before, like a vice and he stuttered his thrusts spurting into you but continuing to fuck into you so you wouldn't miss a single drop.

"Shit I think I love you." He grunted out as he continued to thrust into you when you didn't say anything back he felt his heartbreak a little but he continued to thrust.

He stayed in place above you as you both came down from your high, once he knew it was safe for him to pull out he did and dropped down next to you smirking as he looked at you.

"That was-"

"Yeah," You finished looking at him with a smile on your face, you rolled over and laid your head down against his chest.

"I love you too by the way." You whispered looking up at him as you rested your chin on his chest to make eye contact with him.

"Can you guys warn us next time?! Fuck!" You heard Jimin yell from upstairs you looked over at the door and back at Jungkook,

"Why didn't I change?" Jungkook looked at you and took in a deep breath,

"I think you have better control over your instincts than I first thought." You hummed and bit down on your lip,

"I want you to do that again." You whispered to him biting down on your lip as you stared up at him,

"Trust me, you're not going to want to stop now you've had one taste." He chuckled knowing how hard it was to keep yourself from stopping once you'd had the first taste of an orgasm like that.

"But let's go upstairs since you're not changing, there are much comfier places then the basement floor." He whispered in your ear, roughly biting down on it with a fang and smirking as you whimpered out to him.

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leviiattacks · 4 years

Text

Two Faced | Chapter Two

↳ levi ackerman, the very person who was about to kindly behead you by a surprising turn of events manages to become your loving husband? you would be elated if this was true love, but it's all thanks to a mysterious magic spell that your life is spared. for now at least.

pairing :: duke!levi x duchess!reader genre :: royal au, angst, fluff, slice of life etc word count :: 2.6k → click here for the next part !

You're apprehensive the first few days. Peering over your shoulder when you walk through the halls of the Duke's estate. You often find yourself fiddling with the only real possession you have remaining from the entire ordeal - a silver locket given to you by your mother, it hasn't stood the test of time, it's littered in small scratches and it's clearly seen better days. Neither does it shine the way it used to but you need it to feel at ease.

Currently, sitting in the estate's library you attempt to focus on reading the book in front of you. It details the life of an orphaned child, the rest of the plot is a blur to you as this task is not done with the intent of enjoying the literature but with the purpose of distracting yourself.

You've been avoiding Duke Ackerman for days on end now. He's made the occasional visit to your quarters, always politely asks if he's permitted to speak to you - allowed to take even a second of your precious time. You decline every single request, your excuses range from "I'm feeling particularly ill today." to"I would like to rest early.", He never inquires after you've responded. You do however find he communicates in a variety of different ways ; Meals of the finest standard, A luxurious place to live, the maids also offer you the opportunity to venture out into the beautiful gardens but you know he's asked them to do so.

Quite frankly, you're still petrified and are unable to fathom what happened that fateful day, you had never been one to put much faith in God especially after all he had put you through, but maybe there was a God or a higher being or a somebody who helped you in your moment of despair.

Eyes darting from your page to the door of the library, you swear you see the door knob twist and you hastily double take. Nothing looks out of the ordinary so you allow yourself to shake it off. Your eyes droop shut as you knead your shoulders attempting to relieve some of the tension you feel. Recently, you find it to be an ordinary occurrence for your muscles to seize at the worst possible opportunities.

"May I speak to you?" A beaming voice enters the room from behind you but never had such a cheerful voice made you freeze in fright. It's him.

At his appearance you begin to think of all sorts of scenarios and outcomes but the specific thought you've been actively ignoring slyly slips into view. What if the spell weakens?

Fate is an ever changing entity, one minute it may be in your favour, the next... you'd rather not delve any deeper into that alternative.

Jumping to your feet you don't look in his direction trying to keep the contact you have with him minimal.

He audibly huffs and just as you're about to scurry away he speaks again. "Halt your movements."

Something about his voice beckons you to do so and you anxiously face him.

"Did I come off too bold?" The expression he makes is unlike any other you've seen from him before. His eyes twinkle and it looks as if he's holding his breathe expectantly. It's almost comical how different he looks and you can't stop your cheeks from flushing. He's quite adorable under this spell.

But then a flashback is presented to you. The anger in his eyes, the cold feeling of his sword, if he were any closer he would have been swiftly slicing your neck open. Y/N, you were seconds away from becoming a corpse you remind yourself fiercely.

"I'm not doing very well at courting you, Am I?" He frowns as he asks but he's not upset, perhaps disappointed.

Looking at the floor you hear him bombard you with even more questions, he's crowding around you now like a swarm of bees - somehow he manages the job of an entire hive on his own. No one has ever taken such an interest in you.

Your conscience tells you that you will regret this later on down the line, it tells you this will come back and bite you incredibly hard, you will regret being so ignorant and trusting yet you yield. Is it so wrong for you to consider feeling affection? When the Duke snaps out of this spell he will promptly execute you and you're aware of that fact, so what reason is there to cower away in fear?

For all your life you have never experienced the true feeling of love. You had mother's maternal love, which hadn't lasted very long at all. Never would you have any other opportunity to experience the romantic intimate kind involving a significant other. If you were to die you may as well play the role of his wife for as long as this spell wills it. Perhaps he'll receive his memories back so late he forgets or simply no longer cares. Part of you hopes he doesn't remember at all.

"Would you like to..." you pause already regretting what you're doing but before you can continue the Duke cuts you off.

"Have tea together? Explore the gardens together?"

What really sticks out to you most is how he casually emphasizes the word together. He really doesn't care what activity you engage in as long as it's with him. You feel your heart twist in your chest. This is dangerous.

He's eager, leaning forward with wide eyes. It feels odd having someone care about your input, even more odd seeing that person smile at you with the same spirit of an elated child. It's bittersweet knowing his true character.

"Let's have some tea."

A few months have passed since then. Surprisingly you're still alive and the spell shows no signs of wearing away any time soon.

After the raid at your palace he's been nothing but sweet towards you. At first many people were against him courting you and a handful of his advisors attempted to steer his sights away due to suspicions and speculation that you were a "sinful witch" who had manipulated or even seduced him.

The day he had heard those rumors he caused an uproar and had fired the royal advisor who spread them around. "Impertinent fools have the audacity to make such comments about my Duchess." You would usually add in you were not worth such respect considering you were not officially a Duchess but the fiery blaze in his eyes had stopped you.

"Hey Lev, lets go have some tea they've learnt their lesson." You shot the gossiping maids a sympathetic look.

Being under the spell does not make him more tolerable towards other people is what you learnt that day.

Multiple women all with visuals worlds more appealing than your own approach him, some even sent by his advisors to set you up. They test if his love is strong enough to withstand the attacks of others. Time and time again he proves everyone wrong and doesn't think for a second to give up on you.

You're glad for that because through these few months you've ascertained how much you love the Duke for who he is. Well, who he's acting as. You want to slam your head against a concrete wall repeatedly when you think about the level of affection and tenderness you hold towards the man but you can not lie and say you hate him.

The fact that before meeting him you lived a life lacking of love and affection does not help your case either. It only makes it harder.

But it's painfully obvious to you that this is all truly one sided. You aren't really in love with the Duke but you're in love with the magic holding him hostage.

You share these thoughts to yourself as you take a short sip from your tea cup. Sasha has left the room to fetch some pastries and sweets. She takes her job seriously as head maid (you never address her as such because really she's just a friend to you). It's a chilly day hence why you've covered yourself up in a shawl, it coincidentally matches the beige drapes.

Suddenly a boy who you recognize to be one of the young apprentices by the name of Eren bursts through the doors of your tea room. His hair is all over the place and he's panting as he tries to formulate a sentence.

"Duke." Puff. " Duke Ackerman" Puff. "Refuses to return to the Imperial Palace and is threatening the Emperor stating he won't return to his duties!"

You ignore it and try to keep to your own affairs because who are you to interfere in military business? It's looked down upon to involve yourself in such matters.

You send him off and in the mean time Sasha makes her way back.

A few minutes later as the both of you are munching on a particularly sweet macron the palace's butler bursts in the same way as Jaeger and tries to get a word in but Sasha manages to interject first.

"My lady, perhaps you should check in on the Duke." she suggests.

You try to speak but the Butler cuts in abruptly.

"Duchess. I'm afraid he hasn't ate a meal in five days. Please talk to him."

"Mike there is no need to call me a Duchess when I hold no such title...wait the Duke hasn't ate for five days???"

You find it unbelievable that Levi has forgotten to eat or possibly starved himself for something.

Making your way to his office you enter with a speech prepared about how eating is one of the blessings you've been given and how it should be appreciated but instead you're met face to face with a trail of rose petals that lead to the Duke.

You stare at him in confusion. He holds a bouquet of roses in his hands and they kiss his chest, He gives you a look of admiration that can only be described as the look that is reserved for your one true love. His eyes glimmer and they shine along with his glossy raven hair. You look him up and down in astonishment.

He's arranged all this for you.

"I'd do anything to have you be by my side for all of eternity. Will you honor me with the opportunity of taking your hand?"

Just looking at this entirely different version of the Duke, you feel relieved and in the moment you recklessly accept his proposal. You know it's stupid, you know it's ignorant, you know you should be denying him but you can't make yourself ignore the will of your heart.

"I hope to live a long life. One with you present." he whispers into the shell of your ear, it tingles.

After weeks of the Duke's courting you accept his marriage proposal and the both of you quietly wed two months later.

He's so kind and affectionate that you're plagued with nightmares where the spell wears off.

In your nightmares he continues what he left unfinished. Every time he's about to plunge his sword into the depths of your chest he wakes you up and caresses your face in between his large hands. He wraps his arms around you after some time. Once your breathing relaxes he asks what has made you cry and you can't do anything to explain. It only hurts more seeing his concerned expression. The way his eyes flick between your eyes and trembling lips, you want to tell him the truth, instead you state that you"had a nightmare, and don't wish to talk about it." You don't want him asking questions over it.

It's another Wednesday and you're pacing back and forth in front of his office door arguing with yourself about whether or not you should enter. Finally, you decide to make your entrance and peek inside. You hear him arguing with his advisors as normal.

"Instead of blithering like a idiot and making excuses why don't yo-" he's midway through his sentence when he sees you at the doorway.

Dropping the previous matter he rushes over towards you and scoops you up in his arms. Smiling up at you, you smile back sheepishly ignoring the stares of his staff.

"Honey, why did you leave me? Where did you go?" He whines into your neck and you try to push him away shyly but he won't budge.

Everyone around you grimaces at his usual mood swings as well as the heavy flirting that he's targeting at you.

"You haven't come to eat dinner with me for three nights. You're the workaholic who left me." You swiftly retort his point and you pout at the end of your sentence. He pouts back and you can see his cheeks are tinged a blushed pink.

"Then we must dine immediately, you should have informed me that I had made you feel so neglected, my darling!"

After making your way to the dining room you and Levi are conversing happily as per usual when you spot his highly agitated secretary Mikasa. It settles in that she's been standing there for a considerable amount of time, time flies when you and Levi speak. She's clearly waiting for him to report back to duty.

The first time you had met Mikasa she was highly suspicious of you and would keep an eye on your movements at all times (literally) , you thought she perhaps fancied the Duke but later learnt that she was related to him and that was probably why she was on edge at the appearance of a new individual. Besides all that she's sweet really, sometime she joins you and Sasha for tea and you happily converse. She isn't much of a talker, more of a listener which works out well considering how extroverted Sasha is and how you love to story tell. You've shared many fond memories with her.

That's why you place a hand on Levi's shoulder and interrupt him.

"Why don't you return to your work? It's about time I send you back now." You suggest but he rolls his eyes in annoyance.

"Why do you keep on trying to get rid of me? I want to stay for a little longer. After all you are my wife. You count as one of my duties. If not the most important duty of all!" He's about to break out into one of his embarrassing speeches and you want to save Mikasa from that.

"Mikasa really needs you to complete your other duties. Do it for me Lev." You try and butter him up with the mention of his nickname. As expected he perks up and stands up to leave, not before placing a soft kiss on your cheek.

"Ah Lev, I'll be taking a short trip out today. Is that alright with you?"

You don't specify that 'out' means the Sunday Market place, he'll ask question after question.

He holds onto your chin with his thumb and leans in for a chaste kiss.

"Of course my darling. Be careful."

He giddily waves at you as he leaves and you wave back with the same enthusiasm. You giggle at the sight of Mikasa practically gagging at the two of you and glaring daggers at Levi.

The door then shuts and you're left alone.

All that accompanies you is silence and you purse your lips together trying to keep it together. Recently as soon as he turns away from you all you can think about is how this love of his is a hoax.

He doesn't really love you.

That doesn't stop all the sweet words he's ever uttered from flooding your memory.

"You're mine and I'm yours."

"My beautiful love."

"I love you I mean it." It hurts. He doesn't mean it.

But you'll keep the charade up. You'll find a way to keep him this way forever. It's selfish but you can't be blamed, It keeps you safe and happy.

Love is nice but you would prefer to live.

#levi ackerman #attack on titan levi #attack on titan #snk #aot #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi aot #aot fanfiction #aot headcanons #levi fluff #levi smut #levi angst #duke levi #leviiattacks #levi fanfiction

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purplehairedwonder · 3 years

Text

Hearts With(out) Chains Chapter 15

Fandom: One Piece Rating: PG-13 Pairings: Gen (eventual Lawlu) Words: 4,006 Characters: Trafalgar Law, Bepo, Shachi, Penguin, Ikkaku, Jean Bart, Clione, Monkey D. Luffy Notes: I’m taking my turn at the Corazon!Law AU because my brain won’t leave me alone until this is written down. Tags will be updated as the chapters come out.

Summary: Law is reclaimed by the Family when he's 17 and, with Doflamingo holding the lives of his crew as collateral for his good behavior, eventually becomes the third Corazon. Years later, trapped by his impossible situation, Law finds a strange connection to Monkey D. Luffy, which offers a glimpse of something he's repeatedly had ripped away from him: hope.

Previous chapters: Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

Read also at AO3 / FF.N

Bepo started when the door at the top of the dungeon stairs banged open and was followed by an ugly thumping sound that made his ears twitch. After a moment, he placed the sound as that of a body being dragged down the stairs. His eyes widened in alarm. Had one of the others been caught?

Or—

“What—” Penguin started from the cell next to Bepo, but he fell silent just as Bepo’s stomach dropped.

A familiar pair of spotted jeans was dragged past Bepo’s cell door and into the cell across from his and next to Shachi’s. The dungeon was dimly lit by torches, and even Bepo’s mink vision couldn’t make out much as Trebol and Diamante dragged a limp form into the cell. There was a rattling of shackles before the two executives exited the cell with some choice words for the prisoner before slamming the door shut. They thumped up the stairs, and, a few moments later, the door banged shut. The dungeon was quiet once again.

Bepo could hear a light rustling coming from the newly occupied cell, so he called hesitantly, “Captain?”

“Bepo,” Law’s familiar voice rasped out after a painfully long moment.

Bepo swallowed, relief at war with worry in his chest. The last he’d heard from Law was two days earlier when he’d called in from his mission with a warning that Vergo had followed him. The crew had gone into high alert, but there had been no further news from their captain. They’d all heard he’d returned to Dressrosa earlier today—and Bepo had been admittedly disappointed Law hadn’t immediately come to see them, though he had been relieved to find the note Law had left on his desk—but all the Hearts had known was that Law was in some kind of trouble, which, by extension, put them in danger. They’d expected to find out what was going on when Law came to see them after dinner, but that was before…

Bepo swallowed, cutting off his own thought and turning his attention back to Law.

“Are you okay, Captain?” he asked. If Law was being forcibly dragged into the dungeon, he must have been overcome by Trebol and Diamante—and was now undoubtedly shackled with Seastone, considering the danger his Fruit posed.

“I’m…” Law started but trailed off as though he didn’t quite know how to respond. After a moment, Bepo heard him clear his throat before asking, “What happened?”

“Shouldn’t we be asking you that, Captain?”

“Penguin,” Law breathed worriedly. “Who else is in here?”

“Me.”

“Shachi. Anyone else?”

“We were the only ones captured,” Bepo said.

A brief hesitation then, “Where is everyone else?”

“Escaped,” Shachi said.

Law let out a relieved breath as Bepo belatedly realized Law had probably taken his words to mean the others had been killed. He tamped down on the urge to apologize, instead rubbing his face through his paws in embarrassment, glad none of his lesser mink friends could see him in the dimness.

“What’s going on, Law?” Penguin pressed. “We haven’t heard from you since you called Bepo, and then we’re being thrown in the dungeon.”

Law’s cell was silent for several moments, and Bepo wished he could make out more than the outline of Law’s shape across from him. Finally, Law said, “I’ll tell you everything. Just… First, I need to know. What happened here?”

He sounded more tired than Bepo had heard him in a long time, and it was that, more than anything, that caused Bepo to take pity on his best friend. “After reading your note, I got word to the others to meet up after dinner,” he explained. “We were gathering in the common area when…” Bepo swallowed.

“Pica and Machvise showed up,” Penguin picked up as Bepo faltered. Law cursed quietly. “They said Doflamingo wanted to see us.”

“After your call, we knew something was up,” Shachi added. “Other executives don’t just come to our wing of the palace.”

“So, we told them his royal featherness could come to us,” Penguin said, the smirk evident in his voice.

“They didn’t like that,” Shachi added.

“Idiots,” Law said, fond despite himself.

“They attacked then,” Bepo said, remembering the uncanny feeling of the world shaking as Pica had merged with the walls. It had reminded him of Zunesha’s daily showers for the briefest of moments before it had turned into a horror show. “Penguin, Shachi, and I tried to hold them off while the others got away.”

“Jean Bart wanted to stay behind,” Shachi said. “But we told him to take the others and get out.”

“We fought them off as long as we could,” Bepo said quietly, grimacing as he shifted. Even with his fortified mink body, he was still sporting bruises and probably some cracked ribs. Shachi and Penguin weren’t any better, fragile humans that they were.

They’d fought with everything they had—which was quite a bit, since, as the crew of Doflamingo’s second, there were high expectations of their capabilities—but none of them were Devil Fruit users, so they’d been taken down eventually. Neither Pica nor Machvise had been particularly gentle with their capture and imprisonment.

Bepo still hoped they’d done their captain proud.

“They must have all gotten out because we haven’t seen anyone but you,” Penguin said. “Hopefully, they’ve gone to ground.”

Doflamingo had eyes all over the city, but the Hearts had been in Dressrosa long enough to know it like the back of their own hands—or paws—in their own right; they’d made connections and were owed favors they could now call in.

“Good.”

“So, are you going to tell us what happened out there?” Shachi asked when it was clear Law wasn’t going to say anything else.

“Okay,” Law said at length. His shackles clanked as he shifted, and he let out a breath. “Doflamingo sent me to Punk Hazard to take out some intruders. It should have been a quick in and out.”

Bepo remembered meeting Law at the palace gates before he’d left, Law deflecting their attempts at joining him by claiming the mission was easy—the type he’d done countless times before with no complication. Briefly, Bepo felt a wave of frustration flow under his skin; if Law had taken them with him on this mission, maybe whatever had happened with Vergo wouldn’t have. They could have helped.

But that surge was as gone as quickly as it had arrived. What good did it do to worry about the past now? Plus, Law was opening up to them again, something he hadn’t done in two years.

“What went wrong?” Shachi asked quietly.

Law snorted, a hollow sound that made Bepo’s hackles raise. “Everything.”

“Captain?” Bepo prompted when Law fell silent once more. Law got like this sometimes, stuck in his own head as he turned his thoughts over endlessly, creating a spiral it sometimes took days to pull him from.

“There were two groups of intruders,” Law finally said. “Smoker was leading a group of hapless Marines from G-5.”

“And the other group?” Penguin asked. They all knew a group of Marines, even led by a vice admiral like Smoker, shouldn’t pose much of a threat to Law.

“Straw Hat-ya and his merry band of misfits.”

Bepo’s eyes widened. The Straw Hats were active again? And Law had been sent to kill the very person he’d risked everything to save two years earlier?

Of course he had. That was absolutely something Doflamingo would revel in. Law had taken a major risk by defying Doflamingo when he’d saved Straw Hat Luffy, and Shachi had lost his arm in the aftermath, causing Law to shut down completely in his guilt. Doflamingo would love pushing Law to see how he’d react to such an order after everything he and the Hearts had sacrificed in the wake of Marineford. The idea of rendering those sacrifices moot would amuse the bastard to no end. And to erase the living reminder of Law’s rebellion would only further cement his hold over his second.

If Law had gone through with it, Bepo could only wonder at what version of his friend would have returned from Punk Hazard.

“Captain,” Bepo said, nearly whining in a show of sympathy. He wished he could see his friend’s face, could offer more than just words of comfort.

With a heavy exhale, Law told them about fighting but losing when Smoker and the Straw Hats joined forces and being taken captive by the Straw Hats. Something warmed in Bepo’s chest as Law haltingly, disbelievingly, described Luffy’s unwavering determination that Law was a good person for no other reason than he felt it.

Something Law hadn’t understood had pushed him to save the boy that day—something Bepo, as a mink, considered a sign from the Earth herself, though he knew Law, man of science that he was, didn’t agree—and perhaps Luffy was similarly driven toward their captain. Bepo knew what it felt like to be drawn to Law, so nothing about the situation surprised him.

There were things even science couldn’t explain, after all.

That warmth in Bepo’s chest turned cold as Law described Vergo’s arrival on the Straw Hats’ ship with a fake accusation of Law’s treachery. So, that was what Law had meant by Vergo turning on him.

“What?!” Penguin demanded as Law continued speaking about the Straw Hats, clearly unable to believe what he’d just heard.

Law sighed and repeated himself. “We agreed to work together.”

“Like an alliance?” Shachi asked, tone rising slightly in disbelief. Bepo couldn’t blame him; Law didn’t typically play well with others, especially in his position as Corazon.

“I suppose,” Law allowed. Bepo knew by the tone of his voice that, had his hands been free, Law would have scrubbed a hand over his face—a frustrated gesture Bepo had seen countless times over the years. “I didn’t have much choice in the moment but to accept the help.”

“But Captain,” Bepo interrupted, “that’s great!”

After Law had saved Straw Hat Luffy for no other reason than a feeling, Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin had done some digging into the Straw Hat pirates and been astonished by the string of miracles they’d left in their wake, from Alabasta to Enies Lobby. If there was anyone the Hearts could want on their side in a confrontation with Doflamingo, it was a crew like that.

“Great?” Penguin echoed.

“It means we aren’t alone,” Bepo said, hope rising in his chest.

After Law had called with his warning about Vergo, Bepo couldn’t help but run the worst-case scenarios over and over in his mind, with Law not returning from his mission at the forefront. But when his captain had returned, those scenarios had turned into the crew facing Doflamingo’s wrath alone, perhaps even being forced to hurt and kill one another. Those scenarios had not seemed far-fetched once Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin had been locked in irons and thrown into separate cells in the dungeon. And when Law himself had arrived as a captive…

Well, having allies seemed a lot better than the alternative.

“What happened with Vergo?” Shachi asked, interrupting Bepo’s reverie.

“He’s dead,” Law said flatly.

“Good,” Bepo said without thinking.

“Bepo?”

Bepo pulled at his snout, a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry.”

Penguin snorted. “No, you’re not.”

Bepo blushed. “No, I’m not. It’s good that he’s dead,” he said firmly.

“He was a bastard,” Shachi agreed.

“Fuck that guy,” Penguin added.

Law huffed tiredly. It was small, but Bepo had heard enough of Law’s laughs over the years to know it was genuine. “Right. But he was always Doffy’s favorite.”

“Ah hell,” Shachi muttered.

“Exactly. And Doffy has more spies than just Vergo in the Marines, so at some point today he heard that Vergo was dead and Caesar-ya and Monet were arrested.”

“And that’s when…” Penguin said, trailing off as if he lacked an adequate way to refer to everything happening now.

Law grunted in response.

“Where are the Straw Hats now?” Bepo asked after a moment. Would it be possible for their free crewmates to find their allies and get their help?

“They should be on the Tang,” Law said, his tone implying that where the Straw Hats should be was not necessarily the same as where they actually were. “Waiting for me to check in.” (The irony, of course, was that Law currently wasn’t where he was supposed to be, though Bepo doubted his friend would appreciate him mentioning it, so he just suppressed a laugh.)

“Which you obviously can’t do from the dungeon,” Shachi noted.

“Indeed.”

-----

Ikkaku glanced at Jean Bart and raised a questioning eyebrow.

Jean Bart peered out of the window into the quiet night, clearly looking for any sign of pursuit, before turning back to Ikkaku and Clione. He nodded but put a finger to his lips. The streets might appear quiet, but that did not mean Doflamingo’s spies weren’t still looking for them. Ikkaku and Clione nodded.

Ikkaku turned back toward the storage room, where their hosts were watching them. Mateo, the shopkeeper, and his wife, Isabella, stood in the doorway. She approached them.

“We’ll be leaving now,” Ikkaku whispered, voice only loud enough to carry to them. “Thank you for hiding us.”

“Gladly, Miss Ikkaku. We are forever in your debt,” Mateo replied, voice equally quiet. The citizens of Dressrosa knew full well some walls had ears, after all.

After they’d fled the palace—Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin stupidly (bravely) staying behind to give them a chance—the Hearts had split into smaller groups before going to ground. When considering where to take cover, Ikkaku had decided to call in a favor owed to her by Mateo and Isabella, the owners of a textile shop.

Three years earlier, Ikkaku, who had been on a routine patrol around the city with Iruka, had found their toddler son, Alexander, wandering around the streets, lost and crying. Apparently, there had been a break-in at their shop, and his parents had been seriously injured. The boy had run off during the attack in fear. Ikkaku and Iruka had managed to make enough sense of the boy’s sob-stricken words to wind their way back to the shop, where they found his parents. Using medical care they’d learned from Law, they were able to stabilize them before summoning proper medics, who took them to the hospital.

Meanwhile, they’d gathered the Hearts to investigate, asking questions around the city until they found out who had attacked the shop and bringing them to justice—or Dressrosa’s version of justice, anyway; all three attackers would face the colosseum. Ikkaku had visited Mateo and Isabella in the hospital to tell them the news, and they had claimed they were in Ikkaku and her crew’s debt. Though Ikkaku had waved the debt off then, she took advantage of it now.

She, Jean Bart, and Clione had hid in their storeroom until night had fallen. Once the store closed, they gladly accepted food from Isabella and waited, plotting their next move. They’d decided that in the early hours of the morning, they would head for the Polar Tang when the watch was likely to be paying the least amount of attention. On the Tang, they could wait for the others and figure out what to do now that they were apparently wanted by the king.

That was something else they needed to figure out—what had happened with Law’s mission to cause this? Why were the Hearts—and presumably their captain—public enemy number one?

One problem at a time, Ikkaku reminded herself.

“Stay safe,” she told the shopkeepers.

“We have no worries,” Isabella replied. “After all, we haven’t seen any criminals tonight.” She turned back to the storeroom and grabbed some dark cloth. “Cloaks,” she said, offering them to Ikkaku.

Ikkaku gratefully accepted the proffered items—they’d been wearing light-colored clothing when they’d fled—and saluted before turning back to her crewmates. “Let’s go.”

The trio donned the cloaks then carefully exited the shop and, staying in the shadows, made for the harbor. Jean Bart took point, leaving Ikkaku and Clione in his shadow. As they moved through the quiet streets, the city’s clock rang out two o’clock. The bars would be closing, so they would need to keep an eye out for late-night patrons who might recognize them. There would also be parties going on for hours more in some areas of the city, but they avoided the more populous parts of the city.

As they approached the harbor entrance, Jean Bart paused, raising a hand in warning. Ikkaku and Clione came to a halt just behind him. The larger man nodded toward the watchtower. There was a single light in the small room at the top, meaning there was at least one guard watching over the harbor, as expected.

Ikkaku pointed to herself. She was the smallest so would be the quietest. Clione raised an eyebrow—Are you sure?—and Ikkaku nodded. Jean Bart and Clione stepped aside, and Ikkaku slid past them. She hadn’t been a fighter when she joined Law’s crew, but she was a quick study, and in the intervening years, she liked to think she’d picked up enough to hold her own against any of the others—except her captain, not that she’d admit it to his face. They hadn’t had a chance to grab any weapons when they’d fled from Pica and Machvise back at the palace, but Ikkaku didn’t need her staff to take on some low-level harbor guards.

Light on her feet, she soundlessly climbed the stairs that rounded the watchtower before coming to a stop just outside the door. It was cracked open, and inside, she could see two figures sitting at a table. They seemed to be playing cards. Assessing the situation quickly, Ikkaku knocked on the door then pressed her back against the wall and melted back into the shadows. A moment later, the door opened all the way and a head stuck out of the doorway.

“Hello?” the guard asked, looking around in confusion.

Ikkaku inched further back into the darkness, and the guard stepped out into the night. Ikkaku knocked lightly against the wall behind her, drawing the guard’s attention in her direction, though he couldn’t see her.

“Who’s there?”

The guard stepped toward the noise, and once he was out of sight of the doorway, Ikkaku struck—an elbow to the solar plexus had the man doubled over before he knew what hit him. She swept a foot at his ankles, knocking him off balance, then struck him in the back of the head twice more, once with her elbow and once with her balled hands. He went down in a heap, never making a sound other than a surprised gasp at the first strike.

Ikkaku then turned and rounded the tower, coming to a stop on the other side of the doorway, fading back into the darkness as she waited for the other guard to appear.

“Jax?” the other guard called, stepping out of the doorway after several moments. “What the hell?” he yelped when he saw his fallen friend. He hurried over to the other guard’s side and knelt next to him.

Ikkaku crept up behind him and took him out with two quick blows as he checked his companion’s vitals. She then pulled the limp forms into the watchtower (fine, she could have used Jean Bart or Clione for this part) and shoved them in the small closet, blocking the door handle with a chair.

Satisfied, Ikkaku headed back down the stairs to her crewmates.

“Well?” Clione asked quietly as she sauntered up.

Ikkaku put a hand to her breast. “I’m wounded you’d even ask me that.”

Clione snorted, and Jean Bart shook his head fondly before leading them toward the Polar Tang. Jean Bart kept an eye out as Ikkaku and Clione boarded the Tang before following them up the ladder and across the deck.

“Wait,” Jean Bart said as Clione reached for the door handle.

“What?” Clione asked.

“It sounds like someone is inside.”

“Doflamingo’s?” Clione asked, tensing.

“Or nakama?” Ikkaku suggested. Though there hadn’t been time to set a rendezvous point when they’d run, it would make sense for the crew to meet at the ship.

But the Family would know that as well.

“Only one way to find out,” Jean Bart said, sliding past Clione to take point once more. He opened the door lightly and moved inside with a quietness that belied his size. Clione nodded for Ikkaku to go next, and he followed her inside, lightly shutting the door behind them.

Now that they were inside, Ikkaku could hear the unfamiliar sounds—footsteps, metal clanking, voices she didn’t recognize. Definitely not nakama then. Ikkaku swallowed. Dressrosans, even criminals, would know better than to mess with Corazon’s ship, so it had to be the Family.

“Should we get out?” Clione asked quietly, clearly thinking the same thing.

Ikkaku shook her head. “The Tang is ours,” she said fiercely, a rush of anger flooding through her at the thought. The Tang had brought her from her old, shitty life to the Hearts. It wasn’t a perfect life, but it was hers—the people in it were hers—and that was what mattered. “We can’t let them have her too.”

Jean Bart and Clione nodded in response; they understood exactly how she felt.

“So, what do we do?” Clione whispered.

“The noises seem to be coming from the mess,” Jean Bart replied, considering.

The mess had two doors, plus access to the kitchen, and the kitchen had a separate door of its own. That was three doors for three pirates.

“Split up?” she asked. “One of us for each door?”

“Is that a good idea?” Clione replied, looking between her and Jean Bart. Depending on which Family members were in there, spreading their fighting power out might be a big mistake. But at the same time…

“If we leave any doors uncovered, someone could get out and report our location back to the palace,” Jean Bart said. “Ikkaku’s right. We need to block all the exits.”

Clione chewed on his lip for a moment before nodding. “We can’t go in unarmed, though.”

Ikkaku nodded. Taking out two harbor guards barehanded one thing; fighting Donquixote Pirates was another. “Training room?”

Clione nodded. “I’ll go.”’

He disappeared back into the hallways toward the small training room that should have some weapons in storage. The Hearts usually took their favored weapons with them when they returned from missions, but they had additional arms on the ship. Ikkaku and Jean Bart waited, keeping an ear on the voices they didn’t recognize coming from the heart of their ship. The longer she waited, the angrier Ikkaku got at the invasion of her home—of her namaka’s home.

Clione eventually returned, a blade in hand. He handed a set of brass knuckles to Jean Bart and a bo staff to Ikkaku. Ikkaku immediately felt better, more able to defend the Tang, with the familiar weight of the staff in her hands.

“I’ll take the kitchen,” Clione murmured.

“I’ll take the back mess door,” Ikkaku said.

Jean Bart nodded. That left the front mess door for him. “I’ll give you five minutes to get into place. Then we go in together.”

Clione and Ikkaku nodded and turned in opposite directions, heading for their respective doors. Ikkaku found her place by the back door within three minutes, leaving two minutes to wait for Jean Bart’s signal. She could feel her heartrate speeding up as she thought about the impending fight. She took a few calming breaths. This was her home. This was her nakama’s home. She would fight for her home and her nakama.

She was in the middle of a steady exhale when the door in front of her slammed open. She yelped in surprise.

“Sanji, more mea— Huh?”

Ikkaku gaped as she came face to face with Straw Hat Luffy.

#Oh look an update #Trafalgar Law #Heart Pirates #One Piece fanfiction #One Piece fanfic #Caitlin's fic

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julemmaes · 4 years

Text

Never Leave You

“Before I tell you this, you must promise me that you will stay.”

Lorcan Salvaterre and Elide Lochan modern au

Okay so this is my first time writing for the throne of glass fandom and lately I’ve been obsessing over Elorcan a little too much, so I guess that’s why I decided to write about them. I also have a thing for Elide and Rowan friendship(?) like they would have the bestest of friendship in my opinion, so yeah.

I don’t really have a tag list for tog, but let me know if you’d like to be added to it for future posts. Comments and reblogs are always welcomed:)

Word count: 3,449

When Rowan managed to climb the last flight of stairs without staggering or closing both eyes, he breathed a sigh of relief leaning against the wall.

As he moved one step forward, always looking for support in everything in his path, he thought about when he would get into his home and take off these stupid loafers and when he would take off his pants, so tight that his thighs hurt.

He was not used to getting dressed up and the suit he was wearing was years old. Normally, after one of these evenings, he would get in the shower and Aelin would listen to him complain sitting on the toilet, probably with a glass of wine to go with it, but tonight Rowan would go straight to bed. And he would sink into those blankets that scented Aelin and loved so much.

So soft.

He was so tired that he didn't realize he had arrived at the door of his apartment. He slipped the keys into the patch and took a turn before he pushed forward and found the door locked. He wrinkled his eyebrows, his eyes struggling to stay open, and put the key back in, turning it again. The door opened, but the man's fireman instinct had already kicked in. He stood at attention, praying to every god in existence that his wife was safe and sound, and that the double fire was just a precaution.

Much more awake than a few seconds earlier, he took a deep breath and slipped into the apartment. All the lights were on and the table was still set from the dinner Aelin and Elide had shared.

The house, however, was too quiet.

Leaving the keys on the entrance cabinet and taking off his bulky jacket with a quick movement, he entered the living room. There was no one there, but the cartoon stopped at one hour and twenty minutes was a sign that they were still in the house.

Then how come he didn't hear them talking?

"Aelin?"

He tried to call out loud, receiving no answer. "Elide?

He moved into the hallway, going straight to their bedroom. It was all too strange and too tidy for nothing to have happened. He was used to the chaos that was Aelin, but leaving everything on in the house just to go out for some air was not in the style of the two girls.

Before he could reach the room he heard a sob coming from the bathroom. He stopped suddenly, knocking slowly on the door, "Aelin? Are you in there?"

Another sob. Rowan's heart tightened in his chest.

He ran his hand through his hair, "Ace, what happened? Are you okay?" he asked trying to understand if she was hurt or shaken by anything else. He looked around, looking for signs of Elide. Where on earth was the black-haired girl?

He tried to open the door, finding it unlocked.

He prepared himself for everything, ready to go into action in case she had fallen and hit her head somewhere, but what appeared before him was not an injured Aelin. Or a distraught Aelin.

It wasn't Aelin either.

Elide, sitting on the mat on the floor, was resting her back against the extravagant tub that Aelin had chosen when they moved in. The tiny body, which seemed even smaller at the time, was repeatedly shaken by loud sobs. She looked up at Rowan when he entered the bathroom and her face contorted before she burst into even more desperate crying and covered her face with both hands.

Rowan blinked a couple of times, shocked to see her friend in such conditions.

"Ellie, what...?" he recovered when Elide's black eyes met his green eyes.

He knelt down next to her, placing his hand on her shoulder, but she sobbed louder, so he dropped his hand and came a little closer, being careful not to touch her. He could not understand what might have caused such a reaction in the girl.

After all, he was used to these situations. Being a firefighter, people who could not speak because of the shock were his daily bread, but there was nothing to suggest why Elide was in such a condition.

Gathering his last strength he was able to ask her, "What happened? Why are you crying?"

Elide looked at him in sorrow and in an instant, all the worst situations Rowan could think of poured over him. Opening his eyes wide and in a harder tone than he had to, he leaned forward on the tiny figure, "Elide, where is Aelin?

Something in the man's voice must have surprised Elide, because she too opened her eyes wide and put her hands forward and said, "Oh God Rowan no, Aelin is fine. She went to call Lorcan."

Rowan released a breath that he didn't know he was holding, closing his eyes, but he made a confused expression immediately afterwards, still not understanding why Elide was on the floor of his bathroom crying after past one o'clock in the morning. He sat down more comfortably, placing an elbow on the edge of the bathtub and resting his head on his hand. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She, taking an example from her friend, turned towards him and put her head on the bathtub, grimacing. At least she had stopped crying and was breathing normally.

Only then did Rowan notice something at the girl's feet.

He bent his head to the side trying to figure out what that little pink and oblong object was and when Elide noticed Rowan's look she cursed under her breath, trying to grab the thing before the man could realize what it was.

Looking up at Rowan's face, Elide realized that all her attempts had been in vain. Rowan's eyes shone and his mouth was slightly open. Well, at least he wasn't yelling at her about how inconsiderate it was to have a child at this age.

He looked her in the eye and a choked laugh got out of control, "I can' t believe it."

Elide tightened her lips in a thin line before whispering, "Believe it."

"Is it Lorcan's?"

Elide made a shocked face, before hitting him as hard as she could on the shoulder. Rowan chuckled completely unfazed.

"Yes, idiot, it's Lorcan's," she replied, lowering the volume of her voice when she said the name of her fiancé.

Rowan smiled uncertainly, "I guess a 'congratulations' is in order."

Elide looked him straight in the eye and her eyes were filled with tears again. Rowan wrinkled his forehead, taking her hand and holding it gently, "What is it?" he asked her calmly. Now that he knew what this was all about, he could have tried to calm her down.

The girl closed her eyes and sighed, running her hand over her face, "I don't even know." And then she giggled, "Can I already start blaming the hormones or is it too soon?"

"I think you can do whatever you want," he told her with a lopsided smile. He looked at her more carefully, imagining her with a big belly. Imagining how his best friend would react when he found out. He imagined Lorcan with a baby in his arms, a mini version of the man he had become. And then he imagined a little girl with such black, straight hair and the eyes of her mother. They would make a wonderful family.

After a few more moments of silence, Elide spoke. "I am afraid."

Rowan settled better on the floor, clutching his legs to his chest with his arms. "You know, I really think that every person in your situation would be afraid." he sighed, "Hell, I would be terrified. Even just the idea of having to push something out of my body like that. Nah ha." he ended it all shivering.

Elide looked at him very badly, her eyes wide open and her mouth slightly open. "Are you an idiot?" she asked him in a shrill voice, "How can you even think of saying something like that at this moment?

Rowan shrugged and kept looking forward. Elide shook her head puffing, "I'm not afraid of childbirth - or rather, I'm fucking afraid of childbirth, but that's not my biggest concern right now."

Her friend gave her a questioning look, urging her to speak with a nudge on her arm.

She looked down, embarrassed by what she was supposed to say. "It's just a stupid thing."

"If it was really stupid, I wouldn't have found you on the floor of my apartment in the middle of the night in the middle of a hysterical attack," Ellie gave him another little push. She looked up at one of her oldest friends. Rowan smiled at her again.

He had been with her every horrible moment of her life. He had helped her when the rest of the world seemed to have forgotten about her. She could trust him. But she also trusted Aelin blindly, and yet she could not tell her what had shaken her so much.

They remained silent a little longer and then Rowan settled better on the carpet, so that he was completely lying on the floor and only his head was resting on her thigh. "Is this about Lorcan?"

Elide stilled. Obviously Rowan would have understood. He always understood. "No."

"All right."

He remained silent for a few moments, letting her decide whether to tell the truth or not. When after a minute she didn't say anything, Rowan said, "Do you want me to tell you how my terrible evening went while we wait for the others?" the girl grunted, "I don't think so, your evenings are so boring and full of gruff old men." Rowan laughed, making her leg shake.

He was about to answer her in tone when they heard the front door slam against the wall and Lorcan call her name out loud. Rowan stood up slowly and Elide saw him smile when they heard Aelin's voice warning her boyfriend that she had left her in the bathroom.

Rowan was just in time to stand up and Elide took the pregnancy test and slipped it into her pocket, that the terrified figure of Lorcan appeared in the bathroom door.

Without even aknowledging Rowan, Lorcan threw himself on his knees in front of her, taking her hands in his. Eyes full of fear running fast over her body. When he saw that she was not physically hurt he visibly relaxed and then suddenly she found herself in Lorcan's strong arms and the cry that she had managed to stop came back to the surface like a wave after a dam collapsed.

Lorcan sat down on the ground, taking Rowan's place and carrying Elide on his legs, holding her tight while she cried. Her body was shaken by so many sobbing that Lorcan's heart tightened in his chest and the worry that had faded as he saw her almost relaxed beside Rowan had returned, stronger than before. Aelin had not wanted to specify what had happened and when she rushed into the club so alarmed and alone he immediately thought the worst, cursing himself for not bringing his phone to work that night. She explained to him that Elide was not well and that she was so upset that she could not get her off the bathroom floor.

Now, with Rowan giving him an almost amused smile as he closed the bathroom door, he could not understand what could have triggered that reaction in his fiancée.

"Elide." he whispered in her ear. Whatever she heard in his tone only made her state worse. Her hand squeezed around his arm and he could feel how much emotion there really was in that gesture. "I'm here, I'm not leaving". Elide pushed herself further against his chest, sobbing, "I'm not leaving," he repeated in a lower voice, stroking her hair and leaving a kiss on her forehead.

The bathroom door opened, and Aelin's blonde hair appeared shortly afterwards. Unlike Rowan, Aelin looked just as worried and held a glass of water in her hand. She entered the large bathroom, placed it on the edge of the sink, then turned to him, "You can stay here as long as you like, Rowan and I are going to bed, but if you need anything, come and call me".

Lorcan nodded, whispering a weak thank you and trembling when a hiccup sob than the others shook Elide's body. Aelin made a sad grimace, going out of the bathroom and leaving them privacy.

They remained on the floor, close to each other, hoping that whatever was shocking the girl so much would soon be over.

After a few minutes Lorcan decided to speak again, "Baby, what happened?"

Elide had stopped crying, but she was still breathing rather irregularly. She pulled herself away from Lorcan slightly and wiped her face with the sleeve of her shirt. She hadn't looked at his face yet and it was driving the man crazy.

"Has something happened to Manon?" he asked her worried, thinking only now that the problem might not be about her. Elide shook her head closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she leaned back against him, carrying her arm around his neck.

"El you are making me really worried, please talk to me." his voice broke at the end of the sentence. Elide took another trembling breath and then croaked something incomprehensible. Lorcan shook his head slightly, "I don't understand, love."

"Before I tell you this, you must promise me that you will stay." She whispered in a loud enough tone so that he could hear her. Lorcan frowned. Elide finally detached herself from him, positioning herself in the middle of his legs and squeezing her knees to his chest. She was looking at him with red eyes and swollen with tears. "You must promise me."

Lorcan was so confused. He could not understand what could make Elide ask him to do such a thing. He didn't think she had cheated on him, Elide would never have done him such a wrong, and even if she had, he would have forgiven her. Maybe not right away, but he would come back to her every time. She knew it, he had shown her so many times.

"I don't understand..." he shook his head, trying to take her hand, but Elide turned towards the door, pulling back. The motion was like a stab wound to the chest for him. He retracted his hand and it was the hardest thing he had ever done in his entire life.

"Promise me."

"El I promise I will stay, whatever is going on, but please, please tell me what you need." he said to her in a desperate tone. She did not answer immediately and Lorcan began to feel his patience slipping from his hands. " Elide-"

"I'm pregnant."

The world stopped.

"What?"

"I am pregnant."

They had already had this conversation, almost six years before, when both were still too young. Elide had gone to Lorcan's house with the test, torn between emotion and despair. She was only eighteen years old at the time, Lorcan twenty-one.

The discussion had gone down more rather quickly. Lorcan did not want children at that time and Elide was willing to keep them, stop studying and raise their child, resuming their studies after the child had turned two years of age. That day they had shouted at each other without restraint, not caring how much the words said would hurt the other. There were no winners or losers, however. The discussion had ended in desperate tears and a break-up that both had thought final. They had not spoken for two weeks and neither of them had told their friends what the reason for the break-up was. To this day, none of their group knew why. When after three long weeks Lorcan showed up at her house, crying and asking for forgiveness, she told him that it had been a false alarm, that there had never been a baby and that the problem would never be raised again. Lorcan had had the courage to thank the gods for this and Elide had seen red. After that day they did not see each other for two whole months. Those long weeks without him had been heartbreaking. Friends said that Lorcan looked like a ghost, that he wasn't as grumpy as before, but rather he didn't seem to feel emotions anymore. Not that Elide was any better off. Her friends had tried to help her, to introduce her to other people in the vain intent to get her over her relationship with Lorcan, but nothing and no one was having the same effect on her that she had even just looking in the boy's direction. No one touch made her stomach twist like when Lorcan was touching her. No kiss made her fly as high as he did.

After all that time, she still couldn't get over it, to forget the emotions that only he could make her feel. That night she got dressed so quickly that she almost killed herself a dozen times and when she opened the door with the intention of running to his apartment, Lorcan was in front of her crying. Once more.

They had spoken again, this time in much calmer tones and after a long reflection and a few dates to start off on the right foot, they were back together, without ever leaving each other again.

This, until now.

"Please say something," muttered Elide.

Lorcan was staring at her with an indecipherable expression on his face. He had not spoken a word since Elide had released the bomb and now the air was so thick that she could have cut it with a knife. He lowered his head, running his hands over his face. Elide felt her eyes fill with tears again. She forced herself to swallow the knot that had formed in her throat.

No, she said to herself. She would not cry again. She would have faced it differently from the first time. She would have done it as an adult.

"I know that-" she stopped, taking a deep breath, "I know that the first time that... when we thought I got pregnant, it didn't go well and you didn't want kids six years ago, but-" she couldn't form a sentence that made sense. Lorcan still hadn't looked up at her.

"I am not alone in this. I didn't get pregnant by myself. I'm not in the financial condition to raise a child alone, so if you don't want to have this baby with me, I'll understand, but the blame-" uttering those words was like getting punched in the gut. There was no blame, this baby, no matter how small it was, was a miracle for Elide. "the fault is not only mine. There are two of us in this situation. Whatever you decide to do - cancel the marriage, leave me, go to another country - you will have to help me maintain the child." she concluded by getting on her knees.

Lorcan remained motionless for a while longer, and then a sob broke that glass barrier that had been created around him. He looked up and when Elide noticed the bright smile on his lips she almost fainted with relief. He had probably not heard a word she had just said to him, because his next words were, "I'm going to be a daddy". Elide nodded vehemently, her lower lip beginning to tremble. "We are going to have a little girl," he whispered.

Elide choked with laughter, shaking her head, "We still don't know if it's a boy or a girl. "

"How many weeks?" asked Lorcan as tears ran down his cheeks. He brought a hand to his mouth, murmuring a soft daddy. Her heart exploded in Elide's chest, "Eight weeks."

Lorcan burst into tears as he laughed and threw himself at her, taking her in his arms and standing up, spinning her around in the air as much as the bathroom space allowed him.

"We are going to have a baby!" he cried excitedly in tears.

Elide nodded, laughing as she held herself close to his shoulders.

When they stopped, Elide slipped over his body, and once at the height of his face, she placed her hands on his face, looking straight into his eyes, which now shone with emotion, "We are going to be parents.

Lorcan closed his eyes, pushing his forehead against hers and kissing her lightly. His lips still touching hers, he whispered, "I will never leave you."

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justsomeoneunordinary · 4 years

Text

Dark Fic Recs

@rhodee asked me for some dark fic recs and since this is one of my favorite tropes, I know quite some. I wanna make clear from the beginning that those are dark fics. Means stories with fucked up/morally dubious/voilent content. And not salty “Team Cap was mean to me, so I become evil now” kind of fics. If you’re interested in the latter, I am the wrong person to ask.

Some of them are much darker than the others, but you should read for each one carefully the tags and/or the Author’s Note, since some have special twists in the end that aren’t mentioned in the tags.

Basically: know your limits.

Dark!Tony fics (my personal preference)

Faster, Colder, Sharper by Penned (WinterIron)

Tony is kidnapped by Hydra. When the team gets him back, he has changed far more than they suspect. More than even the surface shows.

Bucky though, he notices it all.

A de-aged Tony fic with Bucky as a caretaker... of sorts.

Radioactive by Valmasy (WinterIron, Series)

The pain is all-encompassing. It’s all he can think about. It’s all he feels. It’s all he breathes. It’s all he lives. Like a barbed net, its sharpness swallows him whole, over and over and over. Tony’s mind tries to hide, tries to save itself, but the pain finds him even then. It burns away at his resistance until all he is crumbles, until he’s nothing but ash and dust.

Attack dog by salytierra (Stony)

Steve doesn't swim in self-delusion. He knows that he is sick and that his owner is even worse. He is aware of it every time he rips some nameless guy’s throat out and feels the crunch of bones under his fingers. He is aware of it every time the rush of adrenaline at seeing life slip away from a stranger’s eyes hits him and gets him bothered and panting in ways that have nothing to do with physical exhaustion.

But it feels so good…

His owner’s approach is less personal. His shots fall clean and take out several foes at a time, his figure elegant and so graceful he looks like a god among savages. He is power incarnated, cold and burning like a sun at the same time… and Steve tries not to focus on him when they are fighting together, least his knees go weak and his technique falters. It’s fine though. They will go home afterwards and his owner will fuck him on the hard floor, with most of their gear still on and a vicious grip in his hair.

Anatomy of a Moral Man by ShyOwl (Stony, WIP)

At a young age Tony understood he was not meant to be a hero and the world, he believes, is far better for it. With his rule now set in stone, his life is finally settling down. That is until something was found buried underneath the ice.

Tony may not be a hero but that did not stop him from falling in love with one.

In Restless Dreams by charocalwinter (WinterIron, WIP)

When he discovers what he believes to be the truth about his parents’ recent deaths, a powerful and morally ambiguous Tony Stark sets out to get his revenge on Steve Rogers. How does Bucky Barnes fit into this feud and why isn't anybody giving him a pair of socks?

“It isn’t often that Tony Stark finds himself unsure of anything, but this situation has him doubting his every thought, his every move … with Rogers comes James, and that boy is muddling Tony’s mind.” ~ interrupted excerpt from ch 4.

A Pound of Flesh by jellybeanforest (Stony)

To save Bucky, Steve volunteers to work off his debt to the Carbonell crime family. Unfortunately, he is unsuited for the role of enforcer, unable to beat and murder those in the same position as Bucky. He is brought before the mob boss, Tony Stark, who demands his pound of flesh in the wake of Steve’s failure. But upon seeing the attractive blond, Tony proposes alternative employment, one that won’t require him to harm others: Becoming his kept man.

“This isn’t an offer I make often, so you should be flattered – count yourself lucky, even – that I am extending you this rare opportunity.”

“To be raped repeatedly?”

“To have a second chance to work off your debts after you failed so spectacularly the first time. But I don’t have to. I could just use these knives I’ve brought along, carve up that pretty face of yours like a Thankgiving turkey, which would be a shame, really. Then I suppose I’d have to pay a visit to your little friend. This entire exercise has been a waste of my valuable time… perhaps I’ll take an arm for my trouble,” he muses. “So, tell me, Rogers, is Barnes right- or left-handed?”

It’s an offer Steve can’t refuse.

Take Away (everything I am) by salytierra (WinterIron)

“Everyone I kill deserves to die.”

“True. But try to explain that to Captain Justice and Faith.” He takes a gulp of the scotch right out of the bottle and flops down on Tony’s lap, straddling his hips. “He cares too much. You and I? – We do what needs to be done.”

Tony circles his waist with both arms and pulls him closer, opening his mouth when Barnes offers him the bottle and swallowing the bitter liquid dry.

“Nobody ever believed I was able to care. So why should I?”

“Coming from somebody who is expected and probably should care more but doesn’t really give a fuck? – I’ll drink to that.”

Operant Conditioning by dracusfyre (WinterIron, Series)

In which Tony is HYDRA and Bucky’s handler.

in another country (people die) by pprfaith (FrostIron)

“The world is not your playground, Stark!” Fury yells at him one time, after he maybe brings down a building or two and Tony just laughs because, seriously, yes it is.

on the bleeding edge by esama (Pepperony, WIP, abandoned (still good tho))

Tony Stark goes back in time and becomes a super villain.

Almost Perfect by One and Five Nines (Obani) (Stony, Comic)

A powerful enemy invades from an alternate reality, but the only thing he really seems interested in is Steve Rogers

Eventually by One and Five Nines (Obani) (Stony, Comic, WIP)

Tony is godking of the wasteland. Steve is not.

Victim!Tony fics

Deliver Us by romanoff (FrostIron)

Loki comes back for revenge. Tony Stark is his captive.

“Why,” he tries, voice failing “do you want me.” He coughs into the ash.

“A king needs an advisor. A king needs concubines. A conquering king must learn the ways of the natives or risk expulsion,” he wipes blood from the sceptre with the end of his coat “and I’m rather fond of you, I think. Even in the face of death you use your wit, you charm with your tongue. It reminds me of myself, maybe, one or two millennia ago.”

Terms & Conditions by Penned (WinterIron)

Tony Stark is desperate and trusts too easily. Bucky Barnes takes advantage of that.

A mob AU with no powers, featuring a very dark, very off-kilter Bucky.

(reverse) Kidnapping by AngeNoir (WinterIron)

Tony Stark is wallowing. He has a right to - he's just finished the funeral preparations for his parents in New York. He didn't expect them to live forever, but still...

And then he falls asleep from his bender.

And wakes up in a nightmare.

(Is it a nightmare?)

Anything (and Everything) - remix by Penned (WinterIron)

The Soldier will do anything to make Tony happy, with or without his explicit consent.

Heavily inspired by Shi_Toyu's IronWinter Holiday Exchange fic "Anything." This is a much darker version of that story.

like flowers soaked in monochrome by deathsweetqueen (Stony)

Steve Rogers woke up to a world where everyone he loved and knew had forged on without him. But this world, it's nothing like he's used. It wants something brutal from him, something unforgiving. There are so many compromises to make. There are too many monsters behind kind smiles.

But if it means keeping Tony safe, if it means protecting him, he's willing to do whatever it takes.

He can't be soft.

After all, the weak are meat; the strong do eat.

Sins of Omission by Kiyaar (Stony, WIP (tbh I still haven’t started reading this story, but the tags and summary sound perfect!))

A Post-Civil War, Pre-Secret Invasion AU where Steve is dead, Tony's a mess, and everything sucks.

In which Tony deals poorly with Steve's death, falls off the wagon, sees ghosts, and misses a lot.

Oh, and the Skrulls are about to invade.

That’s it. Read all warnings carefully and enjoy!

#fic recs #winteriron #buckytony #stony #stevetony #frostiron #lokitony #pepperony #only one pepperony tho :(#dark fics

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thatsamericano · 4 years

Text

She Tastes Like Apple Juice and Peach

Pairing: Nyo America/Nyo Romano. Mention of Nyo Romano/male OC, mention of nyo Ukraine/nyo Canada. Human AU.

Rating/Warnings: Teen. Compulsory heterosexuality and internalized lesbophobia from the POV character. Mix of fluff and angst, with an ambiguously sad ending. (The pining is mutual, but they’re not ready to talk about it yet.)

Word Count: 2337

Summary: Amelia kisses Chiara when she’s just 14 as “practice” for her future boyfriend. Amelia doesn’t even know if she wants a boyfriend, but she also doesn’t know how to tell her best friend the truth.

A/N: Title from “She” by Dodie. I use “Yuri” as the name for nyo Ukraine, which I got from this post by @feynavaley. This fic will be up on AO3 soon.

Amelia was glad to catch up with Chiara, and glad that she actually got to hug her and speak to her in person. She couldn’t begrudge Kiki for spending time with her family in Italy, and it wasn’t like Amelia had been completely alone with nothing to do this summer. But she had missed her best friend, and it was nice to spend the night together eating junk food, watching TV, and enjoying each other’s company.

Amelia liked hearing about Chiara’s cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, but the one thing she could have done without hearing about was this boy Chiara had met. He lived in the house next door to her grandparents, and he was named Salvatore. Chiara’s eyes sparkled when she talked about how cute and nice Salvatore was, and her cheeks flushed a shade similar to the color of her ruffled rose pajama top. Amy smiled, but she felt a little queasy when she heard the name the special emphasis Chiara put on his name. Maybe she had eaten too much popcorn, or maybe it was the fact she’d never really felt like that about a boy. Gilbert and Magnus were her friends, but they were in the grade above her and treated her like a little sister. Tolys and Kiku were also fun to hang out with, but she never got butterflies around them, and definitely not like the overwhelming sensations Madeleine seemed to experience around her friend Yuri. Many times, Maddie blushed bright red as she shyly confided in her twin about something sweet Yuri had said or done. Amelia had never felt the urge to gush like that about anyone (except Chiara, which didn’t really count, since they were best friends and both girls).

Maybe it was like her dad had said, and Amelia was just a “late bloomer.” Or maybe she was weird for not getting crushes on people. She always felt strange whenever girls her age started talking about the guys they liked, because she never had anything to say. She felt strange now, because she couldn’t understand why Chiara was so impressed by stuff like Salvatore being a good soccer player. Amelia was good at lots of sports, including soccer. Even if he could beat her at soccer, she could probably kick his ass at baseball.

The bottom dropped out of her stomach when Chiara started talking about a date she and Salvatore had gone on. It wasn’t much, just a trip to the movies and a walk around town, but it was more romance than Amelia had ever experienced. That was why she had to hide her jealousy behind a fake smile.

Chiara giggled as she got near the end of her story. “And then when he was dropping me off at the house, Totò, he uhh… he kissed me.”

“He kissed you?” Amelia repeated. She was surprised, and her chest felt weirdly tight. Probably indigestion from all that popcorn.

Chiara nodded and tucked a strand of wavy hair behind her ear. “He did. It was my first kiss ever.”

Amelia nibbled on her bottom lip and looked away. She hadn’t been kissed yet, and she was sad that her best friend had experienced something so life-changing without her. “Was it nice? Did it feel good?”

“It was okay, I guess?” When she glanced over, Chiara was frowning at the memory. “Honestly, it would’ve been a lot better if he hadn’t pulled away after two seconds and sneezed in my face.”

Amelia laughed. “He sneezed in your face?! Who the hell does that?”

Chiara tossed a pillow at her. “Shut up, idiota! It wasn’t his fault! He was allergic to my perfume!”

Amelia took several more seconds to calm down. “Still, that sounds horrible, Kiki. I’m sorry.”

“It was kinda gross,” Chiara admitted with a shrug. “The second kiss was better. I was wearing a different perfume then.”

So, Chiara had kissed this boy multiple times. Amelia hadn’t kissed anyone ever.

“So is he your boyfriend now, or…” Part of Amelia really didn’t want to hear the answer, but she felt obligated to ask.

Chiara sighed. “He lives in Palermo, so that wouldn’t really work. It was a summer fling, and it wasn’t meant to last. We had fun, but we’re both okay with it being over now.”

Amelia nodded, even though it didn’t make much sense to her. She didn’t think it was possible for Salvatore to get over someone as beautiful and amazing as Chiara. No boy would ever be able to.

“Well, while you were breaking boys’ hearts in Sicily, my summer was much more boring by comparison. Just the normal stuff you’re used to.”

Chiara chuckled and nudged her side. “So no torrid summer romances for you?”

“Nah. I guess guys don’t see me that way.” Amelia knew that was supposed to bother her. It bothered her mom, who had repeatedly told Amy that boys would never notice her if she kept acting like such a tomboy. But Amelia wasn’t even sure if she wanted boys to notice her. She wasn’t sure how she would react if they did.

Chiara rolled her eyes. “Boys are stupid. I wouldn’t waste too much time worrying about what they think.”

Amelia frowned and stared down at the toenails Chiara had painted for her earlier. “Easy for you to say. You’re super pretty, like a 14-year-old version of that famous Italian movie star whose name I can’t remember right now. And I’m just… well, me.” She was chubbier than a lot of girls her age, had metal braces on her teeth, and had to wear glasses if she wanted to see worth a damn. Amelia didn’t think she was ugly, but she didn’t think she was particularly pretty either, and that made her feel bad for reasons she didn’t entirely understand. Why did it matter how she looked when she wasn’t even sure if she wanted boys to notice her as an attractive young woman?

Unless she wanted girls to notice her as an attractive young woman. But that couldn’t be true, right? Amelia was straight. She had to be. There simply wasn’t any other option.

“Cara, you shouldn’t talk about yourself that way.” Chiara reached out and covered Amelia’s hand, which made Amelia turn to look at her in surprise. “You’re gorgeous. Anyone who can’t appreciate what’s right in front of them isn’t worth your time.”

Her voice was soft, and her hazel eyes were full of conviction. Amelia’s heart raced inside her chest, but she didn’t think she was having a heart attack or suffering from some kind of illness. It felt too wonderful and bewildering to be unhealthy. Was this how Maddie felt with Yuri?

Amelia grinned. “You think I’m gorgeous? Really?”

Chiara’s face turned red as she huffed and pulled her hand away. “I’m not blind, okay?! There’s no need to be so smug about it!” She wrapped her arms around her knees, clearly embarrassed, and Amelia wanted to hug her. Or something.

She opted for the hug. “I’m not smug. I’m just… really flattered. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, so you saying that I’m gorgeous is kind of a huge deal.”

“G… grazie.” Chiara sounded shy and flustered, which was adorable. God, the guy who got to be her boyfriend someday would be so lucky.

Amelia frowned. Ugh, there was that feeling again. That heavy, sinking feeling in her gut. She didn’t want to think about Kiki with a boyfriend. She didn’t want to imagine her best friend kissing a boy, touching him, talking about him with the same gleam in her eye she’d had when she spoke of the boy she kissed on vacation. Or maybe a brighter gleam because her boyfriend would mean more to her than a short summer romance.

Amelia let her arms fall away from Chiara and gave her the brightest smile she could. “It’s probably for the best. I don’t think I’m ready for the whole boyfriend thing anyway.” She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be ready for that. “Especially the kissing part. I wouldn’t know what to do if some guy tried to kiss me.” She’d probably freeze or run away.

“Well as long as you don’t sneeze in the guy’s face afterwards, you’ll be doing better than Salvatore.”

Amelia laughed. “True.”

Chiara looked nervous all of a sudden. She started playing with her hair. “I could show you, if you want.”

“Show me?”

“How to kiss people.”

“Oh. I mean, yeah? If that’s not too weird for you.” Amelia wondered if it should be weird for her. The idea of kissing Chiara didn’t feel weird at all.

Chiara smirked at her, nervousness apparently gone. “If it was too weird for me, I wouldn’t have offered, would I?”

“No, I guess not.” Amelia tilted her head towards her best friend and squinted in confusion. “Should I?”

“Just hold still.” Chiara cupped her face, leaned in, and connected their lips. Her stomach swooped like she was on a rollercoaster, and Amelia was too stunned to move or even close her eyes.

Chiara pulled away. “You’re tense. Just try to relax. Close your eyes and pretend I’m someone you want to kiss.”

Not a problem. Amelia nodded and closed her eyes, waiting for Chiara to kiss her again. This time she was prepared, and when she felt that swoop in her stomach, she sighed and parted her lips against Chiara’s mouth. Her mouth felt tingly and kind of staticky, but in a good way? She liked it. She liked kissing Chiara.

Chiara moved her lips hesitantly, and Amelia tried to copy her movements. Chiara’s tongue flicked over her lower lip, and Amelia let out a startled whimper. Chiara ripped her mouth away suddenly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to! I got caught up in the moment and took it too far. Dio, I never got close to kissing Salvatore like that…”

Amelia caught her flailing hands in her own. “It’s fine. I didn’t mind.”

“You didn’t mind. You didn’t mind that I almost French kissed you? Are you fucking insane?!”

Maybe she was. She had been disappointed that Chiara stopped, but Amelia couldn’t say that, could she?

“We were practicing,” Amelia claimed, ignoring how her gut churned with guilt. “It doesn’t count.” Amelia hated lying to her best friend, but she didn’t know what else to do.

Chiara’s eyes looked troubled. “No, I guess it doesn’t count. But if you start to feel uncomfortable, just tell me to stop.”

Amelia nodded. “Okay.” She didn’t think she’d want to stop Chiara, so the promise was unnecessary.

Chiara slowly began to lean in, and Amelia closed her eyes.

The kiss was warm, gentle, and sweet. The tingly feeling in Amelia’s lips returned instantly, along with the roller-coaster swooping in her stomach. Chiara’s tongue shyly entered her mouth, and Amelia could taste the apple juice she had earlier along with her peach-flavored lip gloss. Amelia idly wondered if she should have brushed her teeth first or maybe put on some kind of lip balm.

Chiara pulled away a few seconds later, flushed and panting for air. “That… that was…”

“You taste like apples and peaches,” Amelia told her, too stupefied to say anything else.

Chiara giggled. “You taste like popcorn and soda. I kinda liked it, though.”

“Do you think I need more practice?” Amelia asked. She tried to make sure her voice didn’t sound too hopeful.

“Probably not. There’s nothing wrong with the way you kiss. You just have to remember not to freeze up at the beginning, and you’ll do just fine.”

It was the best answer Amelia could have realistically expected, but she still felt keenly disappointed. There was an ache inside of her that hadn’t existed before.

Chiara snuggled into her side and turned her gaze towards the television, so it wasn’t all bad. Amelia put an arm loosely around her and pretended to watch the TV too. If she breathed in, she could smell the remnants of popcorn and candy, along with a hint of lemongrass and oranges. It was coming from Chiara, and it might have been the perfume Salvatore was allergic to. She chuckled softly at the thought.

Chiara yawned. “What’s so funny?”

“Guess we know I’m not allergic to your perfume. I didn’t sneeze on your face.”

Chiara snorted. “No. No, you didn’t.”

Amelia felt the urge to confess the truth, but she pursed her lips and kept silent for the next several minutes. Only when she felt Chiara’s body growing heavier and her breathing getting softer did she dare turn her head to look at her best friend.

Kiki’s chestnut hair was tousled up against her shoulder. Her eyes were closed, and her eyebrows were slightly arched. Her nose descended in a straight line, and her lips, full and reddened from just kissing Amelia, were parted slightly. She was by far the most beautiful thing Amelia had ever seen, and that ache inside her grew. She felt the butterflies everywhere, not just her stomach.

“I don’t think I want a boyfriend,” Amelia whispered, so quietly Chiara probably wouldn’t have been able to hear it even if she were awake. “I think I just want you, and I think maybe I always have. I know you don’t feel the same way, and that’s okay, as long as I still get to be your friend.”

Chiara frowned in her sleep. “Amore,” she mumbled, but didn’t say anything else. Amelia had no idea who she was talking to. Probably not Salvatore, since that was just a summer romance she had claimed to be over now. Perhaps, a silly part of her mind whispered, she meant Amelia. Perhaps their practice meant something to her too, and she didn’t want a boyfriend either.

Amelia let herself bask in that delusion until the program she was only half-watching was over. Then she turned off the TV, closed her eyes, leaned into her best friend she loved more than she was supposed to, and fell asleep.

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grovyrosegirl · 4 years

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I love your writing for mcsm!!! I binge read all of the posts. If you are still doing it, can you do Champion Lukas AU headcannons and what would happen if that's okay??? I would love to see what you come up with :D

Aw, well thank you! I’m glad my older stuff is still enjoyable! I don’t really write drabbles for MCSM anymore because I kind of got burned out on it, but it’s been a while and I can still write headcanons. Plus, people have been making so much cool fanart for ancient-bird-demon’s AU, so I’ve got some ideas!

Alright, let’s get this angst train going.

Instead of kidnapping either Petra or Jack to be his champion, Romeo’s too angry at all of them for cheating, so he sends Jesse, Petra, and Jack to the Sunshine Institute.

Since he’s still throwing a tantrum, Romeo wants to hit Jesse where it hurts so he decides to grab someone else close to Jesse. His options are either Lukas or Radar since they’re close by. Romeo still thinks Radar is too much of a weakling to be useful, and Lukas is the first one to run back inside to the ice tower after hearing his friends screaming.

When Lukas runs back inside, he comes face to face with the Admin and demands to know what he’s done with his friends. That’s when Romeo’s just like, “Yep. You’ll do.” He places the gauntlet on Lukas and teleports him away. When Radar and Lluna rush back in, he sends them to the Sunshine Institute.

Lukas is taken to this pocket dimension created by Romeo. It’s a floating island in the middle of some strange void. The only things on this island are a tiny cabin, a pond, and a battle arena. Romeo gleefully tells Lukas that this is his home now and he’s the new champion. Now of course, Lukas is like, “NOPE. Absolutely not.” But Romeo is, well, Romeo and tells him that he doesn’t have a choice.

Now, unlike Jack and Petra, Lukas isn’t the toughest combatant. That’s not to say he can’t fight, he’s a really good archer and decently skilled with a sword, but he’s been putting aside the adventurer life for his quiet writer life for a few years now, so his combat is a bit rusty. For this reason, Lukas questions Romeo as to why he picked him. Romeo tells him that it’s because he sees Lukas as a challenge. He wants to shape someone who’s not “champion material” into the perfect champion. So it’s almost like a game for Romeo. Plus, he mentions, he wants to see Jesse's face when they see Lukas as the champion instead of them. In Romeo's words, “Jesse will get so jealous and be begging to be my champion!”

Lukas points out the obvious, “No you jerk, Jesse doesn’t want to be your champion. Do you...KNOW Jesse at all?” Annnd that’s the first time Romeo uses the gauntlet to shock Lukas. Poor Lukas.

Over the next few days, Romeo tests Lukas by summoning monsters for him to fight in the arena. When that gets boring, he gives Lukas crazy puzzles and obstacle courses for him to solve. If he doesn’t cooperate, he gets shocked. These challenges go on for what feels like hours, and Lukas nearly collapses when Romeo finally lets him go back to the cabin to rest.

Eventually, Lukas puts his foot down and refuses to do anything Romeo says. Even after getting shocked, Lukas still refuses. So Romeo decides he needs to change his strategy. The next day, he summons Lukas back to the arena. But instead of monsters or a puzzle waiting for him, it’s...Jesse?! Now of course, it’s not the real Jesse, it’s a fake made by Romeo, but Lukas doesn’t find out until after he’s nearly killed by the fake Jesse.

From then on, every single challenge Romeo gives Lukas is fighting a fake Jesse. He mixes it up too. Sometimes he'll make the arena look like areas from their past adventures. For example, one day he makes it look like the building contest, another day it’s the White Pumpkin Mansion, another day it’s PAMA’s core, so on and on. Romeo kicks it up a notch by making fake copies of Lukas' other friends, like Petra, Axel, Olivia, Radar, or one time he even uses the former Ocelots, to watch the fights between Lukas and “Jesse” and taunt him.

As you can imagine, these “challenges” take a mental toll on Lukas. He knows that the Jesse he fights everyday and the friends cheering it on are fakes made by Romeo. He knows. But they feel so real, it hurts. So his coping method when he fights fake Jesse is to repeatedly mutter to himself, “It's not real, it’s not real, it’s not real...” He does this for the next few challenges, telling himself at night that the real Jesse is on their way to save him. Because of course they are, it’s Jesse. And Jesse has never let him down before, this time won’t be different...right?

In episode 3, if Petra is the champion, she mentions that Romeo took her to some weird dimension where time doesn’t move normally. So that applies here too. Time in the pocket dimension moves a lot slower than it does in the real world. So while it’s only been a few days for Jesse and company, for poor Lukas, it’s been weeks. And his hope of the real Jesse coming to save him is dwindling...

Then comes the fateful day. Lukas is summoned to a new arena. Strange, it doesn’t look like anywhere he’s been before. It looks like a prison. And there’s another fake Jesse in front of him, only they’re wearing an outfit that Lukas doesn’t recognize. And this fake is different. This fake looks more...scared. They're not attacking him like the fake Jesses usually do. And the fake versions of Radar, Petra, Jack, and Nurm keep shouting at him to stop. Weird. Very weird...

Soooo you’ve probably guessed it by now, Lukas is fighting the REAL Jesse this time and doesn’t know it. Despite how much Jesse keeps shouting at him to stop and that it’s really them, Lukas doesn’t listen. He’s convinced that it’s just another fake that Romeo's using to mess with him. Eventually, however, Jesse decides there’s only way to prove it to him. They toss aside their sword, run at Lukas, and hug him tightly. Lukas fights against the hug, but Jesse refuses to let go, and they softly tell him, “It's okay Lukas, it’s alright. It’s me. I’m here. I’m here.”

Then it finally clicks, it IS the real Jesse. Lukas drops his sword and hugs them back, apologizing profusely. It’s finally over. But of course, Romeo is MAD. So he does what he does normally in episode 3, he leaves them all to rot in the Sunshine Institute, transforms into Jesse, and leaves for Beacontown.

When Romeo's gone, Lukas collapses to the ground and breaks down crying. Jesse, Radar, and Petra rush over to him and hug him close, because THIS POOR GUY REALLY NEEDS A HUG, OKAY? They let him cry it all out for a while before they head to Prisoner X’s cell.

The rest of the adventure pretty much goes how it does in the normal game, save for a few details. For one thing, Lukas is EXTREMELY wary of Xara, because he doesn’t trust Admins after what he’s been through. Another thing is that Lukas sticks by Jesse's side for most of the adventure. He doesn’t want to be left behind out of fear that Romeo will snatch him up again and send him back to the pocket dimension. Jesse is understanding, but eventually they have to sit him down when they’re at Fred's Keep and talk about it with him.

After episode 5, with everything over and Romeo either gone or heading off for redemption, Lukas decides to move back into Beacontown with Jesse. Jesse gives him a while to relax and recuperate, and they eventually give Lukas a new notebook to write down his thoughts in.

#rose talks #mcsm #champion lukas au #mcsm lukas #mcsm romeo #mcsm s2 spoilers #OH WOW THIS GOT LONG

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squirrelly831 · 4 years

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Minseok Falling for a Hufflepuff Harry Potter AU

Masterlist

I haven’t finished part 2 just yet, but this draft keeps getting deleted… Enjoy

P.S I changed some things compared to the first version. :D

At the age of 11, Sophia began her new life as a witch and it wasn’t easy. She wouldn’t have believed it if it wasn’t for the fact that she was on a train to a school she had never heard of before. Stuck with a loud mouth named Baekhyun who talked her ear off about his parents’ work in a thing called the Ministry of Magic, a guy who ignored everyone with a book in his hand named Jongdae who was there because his friend’s compartment was full, and a knight in shining armor named Chanyeol. Baekhyun repeatedly compared him to a guy named Cedric Diggory who Sophia knew nothing about, but she shrugged it off and pretended she did.

These guys were different from her. Sure, they were all first years like her, but they adapted so well with just being on a train to a magic school, it worried her. Was she one of the only ones that were raised by non-magic people? Would that make her different? And when asked about her parents, Sophia panicked. To see how they perked up, even Jongdae with his head was still behind the book peeked up for a momentarily glance, in wonder of what her parents did. Did wizards even have doctors and lawyers in their world? Were there wizards who had normal non-magic jobs? If not, well her parents would be the exception.

Jongdae’s eyebrow rose as he looked up from his book, “A doctor and a lawyer?” He scoffed a clear look of disgust in his eyes and she drew back as if a snake was about to attack her, “What kind of wizard would want some muggle job?”

Sophia’s face paled at his words. Had no wizard stepped outside of the Wizarding world?

Baekhyun nudged Jongdae, “Knock it off. Not every wizard stayed away from the muggles, like you oh so gracious purebloods.” There was a tension between the two as Baekhyun spoke, “Look at Harry Potter, a half-blood and a hero of the world. He’s a friend of muggles and wizards.” Jongdae sneered at the remark before opening his book again to ignore the group. Baekhyun eyed him for a moment before he returned his gaze to Sophia. He gave her a smile as he spoke again, “Ignore him. He’s a brat. I’m sure he’d end up in Slytherin with that attitude” his eyes lit up. “What about you? Where do you want to go?”

Sophia shrugged, “I-I haven’t really thought about it.” She knew the conversation had to end. It would only be time before they knew she wasn’t like them. That she had parents with no magic. That she had no idea what was going on… Sophia stifled a fake yawn earning a frown from Chanyeol.

“Hey Baekhyun, right? Maybe you should leave her be for a bit.” Chanyeol turned and smiled at her, “We still have a couple hours before we arrive, you should sleep.”

Sophia nodded as she stretched out on the seat cushion. Being the only girl, the three boys decided to sit on one side so as to not block her in and Sophia was thankful as it gave her time to prepare. She took out her phone, put her headphones in her ears, and rested on the cushion silently pleading with herself to get some sleep.

Luck was on her side, as she was able to lull herself to sleep, but was later awoken by Chanyeol’s gentle shakes. Sophia groaned as she pulled out a headphone. “Hey, we’re close. You need to grab your robes” he smiled before exiting the cabin to buy one last snack from the trolley.

She was rounded up and led by a giant man who called himself Hagrid to boats with the other first years. Sophia ended up in a boat with a girl named Tatiana who had yet to look up from her book, Baekhyun having somehow managed to get on the boat having almost fallen into the lake, a boy named River, and another girl named Dahlia who seemed to stare off into the dark talking about things Sophia had no idea about. Though rather cramped, she was thankful to have Baekhyun with her. He definitely helped lift her fear of being alone even if she did find him rather annoying.

Sophia was in awe as she stared at the castle the moment she saw it. Led by the same giant man with a face full of hair, they ascended to the castle. In the mix of the cluster of first years, she tried to focus on moving in fear of being trampled by the silent crowd. The chatter stopped upon arriving at Hogwarts. Either out of nerves or in shock, Sophia couldn’t tell, but it even had Baekhyun tight-lipped which she couldn’t help but appreciate.

The man led them inside where another man, smaller in size and height, stood. He wore a robe similar to the first years, but a red emblem set it apart from them. He stumbled on the step as he met them a third of the way. He straightened himself straight immediately after as if it never happened, “Welcome to Hogwarts!” He said with excitement. “We’ll-Headmistress said I should be stern about this” he cleared his throat. “Welcome to Hogwarts” he repeated his voice deeper than the first time. He gave a nod as if to approve of his tone. “We will start the start-of-term banquet in a few minutes. Before you take your seats behind this door—umm in the Great Hall I mean that’s what it’s called—Before you sit you will be sorted” his cheeks reddened as he tried to figure out what he needed to say. He pulled out a paper from his robe and shook it, “Of course, that bloody cat had to spill water on my cards.”

“I think that’s Professor Longbottom” River whispered to no one in particular.

A girl giggled, “Him? No way! Professor Longbottom is supposed to be a total hunk not a total loser. I mean he helped THE Harry Potter put an end to the second Wizarding War.”

Sophia’s ears perked. A Wizarding war? They had one of those? This Harry Potter guy had been mentioned several times from the moment she got to Hogwarts Express to this moment. Just who was this guy and why was he so famous?

“—findor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Please wait here a moment and I will retrieve you. The sorting will take place in front of the entire school.” Professor Longbottom scurried through the large doors of the Great Hall.

Sophia nudged Baekhyun, “What was he talking about just now?”

“Our houses! We’re getting sorted in front of the whole school. Exciting” he clapped.

Jongdae snorted, “Oh yea so excited. Unless you’re humiliated by going somewhere like Gryffindor. Especially if you’re a pureblood, right Tatiana?”

Tatiana looked from her book and gave him an exasperated look, “I don’t see why Gryffindor would be bad. I think each house has its own qualities and are each good to be in.”

Jongdae’s lips pressed together in annoyance just as the door opened and the students were led into the Great Hall. Upon entering, gasps echoed through the large room. Floating above them, candles that reminded Sophia of a starry night. Four rows of tables stretched down towards a platform where older people, some of the professors Sophia assumed, sat. One of the boys near her began reciting a history about the hall that has Sophia fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

Professor Longbottom led them between tables that were decorated with blue and green towards the professors. A woman in the center of the staff stood. An aura of authority and power surrounded her. Sophia felt goosebumps as she shuddered under the woman’s intense gaze. Sophia caught a glimpse of Professor Longbottom freeze under the woman’s gaze. He cleared his throat as he took the steps to the platform. Pulling out his wand, his mouth moved, but his words were mute.

“W-Welcome to Hogwarts! We will start–Wait I already said that outside, right?” His eyes strayed to the woman who shot him a disapproving look. He awkwardly pointed at the four legged stool where a raggedy patched up brown hat sat.

Sophia grimaced at the thought of that thing touching her head. How many heads did that thing touch? And how would it “sort” them? Suddenly, the hat moved and Sophia let out a surprised yelp that was concealed by other first years’ gasps. “That thing is moving!” The hat’s mouth began to move and Sophia’s wide eyes only grew as it began to sing. Her hand went to her hair as she tried to understand what she was looking at. Baekhyun touched her shoulder in concern. “Ho-how? Objects don’t just–do that!” Her eyes were wide with fear and bewilderment as she sought for answers.

Jongdae scoffed, “You’re ridiculous. Stop acting like some muggle.”

Crap… She froze for a moment. Just be normal… this is normal– with a deep breath, she straightened up and swallowed harshly. Baekhyun squeezed her shoulder, but she refused to look his way as she fought off the blush of embarrassment. She could see the strands of her teal hair in her face mixing with specks of pink. Sophia brushed the strands back and quickly moved her hood on the robe up to cover her hair catching curious glances by the students around her. Seeing as none of them had their hair randomly change on mood, she didn’t want to stick out more as a freak.

Tatiana jabbed Jongdae with her elbow to silence him as she gave Sophia a quick apology for her friend’s behavior. Jongdae grimaced as he held his sore side, “Bloody Amazonian…” Tatiana rolled her eyes as she watched the hat.

Sophia had to be normal. To the people around her, she was another witch. Someone with parents who were like her. People who were normal wizards in this new world. But the unease she felt suffocated her.

Once her hair returned to its vibrant teal, Sophia’s hood fell back over her shoulders. As the song concluded, Professor Longbottom began to call each first year alphabetically. Sophia studied how each walked up, had the hat placed on their head, and headed towards a table that the hat told was their new home. She watched as Baekhyun approached with a large smile. There wasn’t a nervous aura around him as if he already knew his fate with the hat. The hat belted out Hufflepuff only seconds before it even touched his head and the yellow table cheered loudly as they jumped up from their seats. Baekhyun flashed her a peace sign as he headed towards the table and shook heads with people.

In her head, she followed the alphabet from B to D and as the professor called out the names, her dread grew. “Sophia Finley!” Professor Longbottom shouted.

Sophia sucked in a breath as she headed up. Her heartbeat sounded in her ears as she hesitantly took her seat on the stool. Where would she go? Would she go with Baekhyun, the guy she only just met but already considered her annoying friend? Or would she end up wherever Jongdae goes? As her mind reeled, she didn’t even feel Professor Longbottom place the talking hat on her head. She closed her eyes as the hat hummed while it got comfortable on her head. The hat murmured in her ear as indecisive as ever which only made her sweat bullets. The hat hadn’t been this slow with any student prior, so why now?

Another beat later. “HUFFLEPUFF!” It shouted.

“YEA!” Baehyun’s voice was heard over the roar at the Hufflepuff table.

Sophia’s eyes flew open just as the yellow table stood and cheered. Just as the people before her, she had the hat removed and made her way to the cheering table where she met a boy named Yixing who looked like he could fall asleep at any moment. Baekhyun high fived her before she took her seat right beside him. Sophia couldn’t help but smile at how quickly the table accepted her. Maybe it wouldn’t be too hard here. Maybe she would be able to fit in.

After the ceremony finished the feast began. Chanyeol joined Baekhyun and her in Hufflepuff. Jongdae was sent to Slytherin. Tatiana to Ravenclaw which caused the Slytherin table to boo her until the scary woman Sophia found out was the Headmistress named McGonagall stepped in. Dahlia was also placed in Ravenclaw while River was sent away to Gryffindor much to his disappointment. Along with Chanyeol and Baekhyun, Hufflepuff got another boy named Hyunwoo and twin girls Diana and Samantha.

Sophia watched as her new classmates talked among each other while she ate silently. Baekhyun was a chatterbox, just as he was on the train. He chatted with all the housemates around them. She looked at the array of food, all looked great, but her appetite was nonexistent. Maybe it was the nerves.

“You okay?” Her eyes glanced up to see Yixing across her with a soft yet sleepy smile. “You don’t have to be nervous, yea? Everyone here is pretty nice.” He let out a yawn as he sat up straighter.

She gave a nod as Yixing reached out and handed her a roll. “It’s just overwhelming–I nev–” She paused. “Never mind. Maybe I’m just tired.” She stuffed the roll in her mouth. Maybe eating would help. At least it can keep her too preoccupied from slipping up about herself.

Yixing wore a knowing look, but whatever he thought, he didn’t seem to voice, “Yea, I’m sure it’s exhaustion.”

Sophia met her roommates, Samantha, Diana, and Hailey who was a year older. Their things were already in their room when they arrived and Hailey went over some quick house rules that their prefect didn’t touch on. However, after the casual greetings, Sophia needed to escape. She threw her wand in her nightstand. Something she had been too scared to hold in case she accidentally broke it. She made an excuse about going to the common room despite her roommates' worried protests.

She made an easy escape to the entrance and slipped out of the Hufflepuff house. She didn’t wear a robe as she flung it off her when she entered the bedroom. She wore her favorite pastel yellow ripped skinny jeans, which now felt ironic to her due to her house colors, and a white tank top under her black cardigan. As she walked, the teal hair she managed to maintain began to fade white. Her footsteps, at first slow, grew louder as she raced down empty corridors. Her breath twisted in her lungs out of fear or from the strenuous activity, she couldn’t say. She just knew she needed out. She shoved open a wooden door feeling a pinch in her wrist as the door sprung open with a thud. Outside air rushed her and Sophia sucked it in with a shaky gasp. Her legs stopped her as she faced out to a courtyard. Her eyes tried to focus on the things around her as she stumbled into the courtyard, trying to focus--to ground herself in the present. The ground shook, or maybe it was her… She looked at the blur of the trees before her vision was glossed over with tears.

“Hey!” A pair of hands grasped her shoulders and held her steady, “Look around… Find five things you can see.” Her voice came out in a rasped gasp. “List them out loud, okay? Take a deep breath and look.”

The stranger’s voice gave her a sense of safety. Her eyes looked out at the courtyard as she tried to focus, “Trees… a fountain… grass” as she spoke, the pair of hands helped her up on her feet and led her to the fountain. She looked up to the sky, “a full moon and stars… lots of stars.”

“Okay-good. Now, four things you can touch.” Her hand touched the cold stone of the fountain as she listed it and the water and continued with a bracelet and the stranger’s arm. “Are you feeling better or should I continue?” He asked hesitantly.

Sophia shook her head, “I think I’m okay.” She heard the boy mutter a word before he held out his hand with a glass of water. “Thanks” she whispered as she took it from his hand and took a gulp. She turned her head upward to see the boy who wore a robe with a blue emblem that glowed in the moonlight.

“You must be a first year,” he stated.

Sophia let out a scoff, “And you must be Einstein or maybe a Sherlock.”

He couldn’t help but smile, “You may have meant that as an insult, but I take pride in being compared to those geniuses.” Sophia let out a giggle before taking another sip of water. “So” his smile fell as he eyed her, “What are you doing out here this late? I’m sure even your prefects told you that wondering after curfew is a big no-no.”

A shadow drew over Sophia’s face as she looked down at the glass in her hand. Her fingers twitched under the pressure she used to hold the glass in her hands. “I don’t belong here… I must have gotten that letter by mistake.” The tears began to form in her eyes and the boy’s eyes widened.

“Wait--look” he awkwardly rubbed his forehead, “It wasn’t like I was going to snitch, so you don’t need to cry…” his words did nothing to slow the tears that descended her cheeks once more. “Bloody hell--I-” he fumbled in his robe before he shoved a handkerchief towards her. “I really don’t know how to deal with people who cry. So here. Once you’re calm, we can talk.” He looked around at their surroundings, “We should be fine here as long as Peeves doesn’t try to cause us trouble.” Sophia took the handkerchief and pressed it to her face as she tried to calm her sobs once more.

Once, she was calm, Sophia talked--the words spilled from her lips before she even had a moment to think of what she was saying. All her troubles were thrown out in front of the unnamed boy. He sat there nodding periodically as she got emotional again. He was patient with her as he let her finish spilling all her secrets.

Then there was silence. Sophia had to look up just to make sure he was still beside her. He was staring off at the full moon and she found herself following his action. “To put your mind at ease, statistically, 20% of our world is made up of muggleborns. And the other 80 can be divided in half with half-bloods, like myself, and purebloods--though I’m sure they’d say they are the majority.”

“Half bloods?”

He nodded as his eyes remained on the stars, “Half muggle half wizard. My mom’s a witch and my dad is a muggle--no magic. He really finds the whole thing crazy, but he likes it because he doesn’t have to do chores around the house.” Sophia let a laugh escape her as she thought about the scenario. “Even so, the whole being a muggleborn thing is a judgement held by Slytherins. The whole house has a bad reputation- they’ll boast about their pureblood status all day as if their relatives weren’t part of the--” he stopped himself and cleared his throat, “Regardless of what the Jongdae kid said, you shouldn’t be too upset with who you are. There are people who understand how you feel better than I do. Talk to your housemates, they’re your family away from home. They’ll be more than happy to help you learn about this new addition to your life.” He stood and met her eyes at last, “Since you’re in Hufflepuff, you should talk to my friend, Yixing. He’s in your house and he’s a muggleborn. He can definitely help you out.”

“Wait--how’d you know what house I’m in?”

“You’re Sophia Finley, yea? That’s what Professor Longbottom said before you went up.”

“Right…” She let out an awkward chuckle as she got up. She dabbed her eyes with the handkerchief as her hand combed through her now blue hair. “This is all too much. Two months ago, I was normal. Going back to a private school with my friends and now I’m some witch? Objects move on their own, pictures talk, and ghosts are very much real and some are teachers? And my parents--how aren’t they magical, but I am-”

The boy pressed his hand against her mouth as he caught sight of her deep blue hair turning a slight teal under the moon’s gaze. “Don’t.” He waited a second as the teal retreated again before he pulled away, “Sorry, it’s just you were about to get yourself worked up again. You should get to your dorm, I’m sure the head girl will do a check soon. A good night’s sleep will help with the stress too.”

As the boy turned to leave, Sophia’s hand shot out and grabbed the sleeve of his robe, “Wait! I don’t know how to get bac--I’m sorry” she began to apologize when a flash of annoyance pass his face. “I’ll just look, you did a lot already.”

He sighed and held up a hand to stop her, “It’s fine. It’s fine… Come on. I know where it is.” He muttered under his breath and began to walk with Sophia fast on his heels.

Sophia hadn’t realized how far she had ran until the boy led her all the way back to her house entrance. “I don’t know the password to your house, but I’m sure you can figure out what to do from here, yea?” She nodded. “Good. Sleep well.”

He turned to leave. “Wait!” She watched him pause, “What’s your name?”

“It’s Minseok I’m in Ravenclaw” he flashed her a smile, “I’ll see you around I’m sure. Hopefully not running around late at night or crying.” He held up a hand in an attempt of a wave as he headed towards his destination, “Oh, and keep the handkerchief.”

Just as he vanished from her view, the door to the dorm opened and revealed an alert and very worried Yixing, “There you are, Sophia. I was just about to go looking for yo--Didn’t you have teal hair earlier?”

His question went unanswered as he moved aside for her to enter. She gave him a small smile as she stepped inside. Upon entering, someone jumped on her, “You’re okay!” She noticed it was Baekhyun who clung to her. “When your roommates said you were coming in here, we got worried when we didn’t see you.” He paused, “And when did you dye your hair green? Don’t get me wrong, it looks great, but still?”

“Who’s we?” She asked in confusion. Baekhyun let her go and pointed back to Chanyeol and her roommates who shot off the couches upon seeing her.

Hailey was the first to approach her with a relieved smile, “Where did you go? I almost went to the head girl to look for you.”

Sophia pressed her lips together as her fists clenched, earning questioning looks from her house mates, “I got scared…”

“Of what, silly? First day jitters?” Hailey asked as she reached out to grab her hands.

Sophia’s eyes watered as a chorus of gasps sounded. She could see her hair had once more shifted blue. “There’s something I need to tell you…” Baekhyun and Hailey hurried Sophia to the couches as Yixing slowly walked behind them. They sat her down just as she began to cry again, “I’m not like you guys. I wasn’t born knowing I’m a witch. My parents aren’t like this. They’re normal people…” She gulped, “I don’t know anything about magic or this world… I’m ju-I don’t belong here.”

The group was quiet as they absorbed her words. Yixing let out a muted chuckled, “You have every right to be here like the rest of us. I’m a muggle born, but my friends taught me about this part of the world.”

Samantha nodded, “Yea, for real. Mom’s a muggle dad’s a wizard. She had a bit of a shock when she found out.”

“Passed out when she saw our dad wave his wand to get some last minute chores done she did.” Diana grinned widely.

Yixing chuckled along with the others as he pressed his fist to his lips, “Don’t worry about fitting in. You’re in one of the best houses when it comes to loyalty and friendship. We’re kind of known for it–”

“And we’re exceptionally good finders!” Hailey added.

Baekhyun took Sophia’s hand, “We’ll teach you everything you need to know. And, if you want to keep this a secret, we won’t tell a soul, right guys?” There was a chorus of agreement.

Sophia smiled softly at the group, “Thanks…”

“Now tell me” Hailey threw herself on the couch beside Sophia as she reached out to touch her hair, “How do you change your hair without a spell and how isn’t it dying? I need your secret!”

Sophia pulled up the ends of her now light green hair and shrugged, “No clue. It’s never changed this much in a day. Maybe once a day or twice, but not this often… I’ve been able to do it since I was a baby apparently. It kind of changes when I’m feeling a really strong emotion.” Hailey’s eyes widened in disbelief as she stared at Sophia’s hair in awe.

Yixing let out a yawn, “Yes, well, it’s getting late. We got class in the morning, so I think we should get some sleep.”

Hailey scoffed, “You’re always tired, but I guess you have a point. Night guys!” She stood with the twins, “You coming, Sophia?” The gang looked back at her waiting for what she would do next.

Sophia nodded as she stood and followed the girls back to the dorm room and they prepared for bed. Sophia situated herself in bed as she thought about Minseok and she couldn’t help but smile to herself. She turned in her bed thinking of how she could thank him before she succumbed to sleep.[Continued]

-Moodboard and writing by: Squirrelly831

If you like my work please like and share it!

#exo #exo scenarios #minseok #minseok scenario #kpop #kpop scenarios #harry potter au #kpop harry potter

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miss-oscurita · 4 years

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I’ve got people asking what the hell is going on, since it seems this shit is getting twisted somewhere along the line and because I do not have the time or energy to engage with squabbling over this any longer, I’m gonna to take some time to state the facts from the get go (since some people apparently can’t keep track) and explain how I see all this one last time, and then I’m done with this shit. Let me be clear - I am not, and never have been, claiming to “own tropes”, as so many have accused me of. I have absolutely no issue with anyone using time-travel and the associated themes in their Red Dead fan fics. This is not entirely about that, I’m sorry so many of you can’t see the bigger picture. My primary issue with this is that someone mentioning me by name (without a tag) and saying I’d approved the content of their story when I was completely unaware of the changes they’d chosen to make to it until after it had been seen by dozens of people here. I do also have an issue with someone telling me they’re going to remove something to avoid drama going forward, only to then upload it to a second site a week later with the additional changes and mention of my name/approval. Changes which stem from someone claiming that they’ve never heard of my story one day, and then a week after discovering it, going ahead and changing their story to include a necklace/stone too. Which is the same plot device that is the very foundation of my entire fic! Coincidence? Maybe. You be the judge on that. Now for everyone who’s jumped on the bandwagon while missing the start of this drama, this is what actually happened....

On September 8th - I was alerted to a story written by Charlee (previously @the-charlee-monstah) under the pen name GracelessTevy that was posted on AO3, called Fast Forward To Redemption. The story was about Arthur jumping through time into 2020, which is the same loose premise as my story Wish Upon. So what? Right? Right! There were enough differences for me to have zero concerns about this story existing. The main female character in FFTR was completely unaware of who Arthur was in relation to Red Dead, unlike my story where both the OC and Arthur know he’s a fictional character in modern reality. While the plot of FFTR appeared to follow the same path as my story with the OC helping Arthur find his feet in the twenty-first century and such, I didn’t feel it was that notably similar in any other sense. Now, this all came to my attention because apparently someone had commented on FFTR claiming that it was the same as my story Wish Upon. Due these comments on AO3 Charlee came forward, commented on WU, and the @’d me in a tagged post on here about the messages she’d received, and asked for my thoughts on what had been commented, because it appeared these comments were in defence of me. (There were a couple of other comments on the story that didn’t mention my story specifically but cried copying on some level. I’m unsure if that was in regard to my story or something else, since Charlee’s camp have repeatedly told me my idea is unoriginal and “been done” already....) At that time Charlee claimed she had never even heard of my story Wish Upon that random people were accusing her of copying. Concerned by this, for both my story and Charlee potentially being dragged unnecessarily by random strangers - I took some time out of my day to find her story, read what was posted. At that time I did not see any similarities beyond the element of Arthur existing in the modern day. There were some vague similarities, in the sense that Arthur arrived during a storm, and that the chapter began with the female character speaking to her friend about cowboys in a novel, but nothing that concerned me in any significant way. I responded to Charlee publicly and via DM’s and told her that what I saw was fine, and that I had no issue with anything she’d written at that point. Charlee repeatedly claimed to have no prior knowledge of my story but must have found it on AO3 in order to get my contact information from my profile to bring the matter to my attention on here. (Since AO3 still doesn’t have a Goddamned private messaging feature!) Charlee said in a comment she left on Wish Upon, that she would delete her story to avoid any further confusion or drama over it.

I thought that was the end of it, but since this began on AO3 I deleted the comment from my story because I wanted to avoid encouraging drama in the comments on my end, and I went on with my life. Skip to last night (Sept 14th) a week later, and someone comes to my inbox here and tells me that Charlee has decided to completely change the name of her story, to reference a stone, and had also made changes to include a mention of a necklace that would obviously be relevant to the plot going forward. (For those of you who don’t follow WU, the concept is that Arthur is bought out of the game and transported to 2019 into the life of a young woman who made a off-the-cuff wish about him being a real person, while wearing a magical necklace her aunt had given her for Christmas.) More surprisingly was that Charlee had also posted the story on here in the Red Dead tag, under the new title of Tempest’s Stone. Despite not having posted it here as FFTR. In the posted chapter on here and AO3 she included a mention of what had happened last week, including my Tumblr username (which is different to my AO3 ID) but didn’t actually tag me so I could see it in my notifs. Despite tagging me last week when coming at me for comment over the responses she’d received. She mentioned that I had given my approval for the story and that I saw no similarities to my (unnamed) work, and that any similarities were coincidental.

Seeing the anon message coming in to my inbox, about a necklace made me think I was going crazy, because I hadn’t seen any mention of any stone/necklace in what I read last week. I initially wrote all this off as just someone trying to start shit here again, so I approached Charlee to politely via DM’s to query if there had been a change or if this was just more of the same trouble making from nameless individuals. I was concerned about all this, because if I had seen any mention of a stone/necklace in what I read last week, I would have raised concerns with it right away to avoid drama falling on her going forward. The initial response I get is Charlee denying any copying.

While waiting for further elaboration from Charlee, I get a few anon messages. One of which offers to provided me with a PDF version of what was originally posted by as FFTR last week, which showed there was no mention of a necklace or stone. It was late, I’m constantly tired at the moment, I’m going through some serious shit in real life, so I wasn’t going to sit up waiting for another reply from Charlee, I accepted her response, put the rest down to being anon drama nonsense, decided I’d deal with it when I saw the PDF, logged off and went to bed. Next thing I know I get woken at 5am by my phone blowing the fuck up with responses to this issue, from Charlee and people from her side/hateful anons attacking me for daring to question the new addition to Charlee’s work.

Then I am inundated with friends of Charlee’s (on and off anon) attacking me in asks and DM’s, saying I have no right to be questioning any of this because my idea has been done before and time-travel stores are common and anyone is entitled to use the concept of a magic necklace, no one owns tropes etc etc etc. I never once claimed or implied that I “own” any tropes. Again, for the peanut gallery, I have no issue with people writing Red Dead timetravel stories! I do however, think it’s highly questionable that someone who apparently had “never heard of” my story a week ago, suddenly changes her story to include a necklace after publicly discovering my work. Also, I’m not claiming any ownership of tropes, but I do not think it’s unreasonable for me to claim ownership of a very specific alternative universe. My fic is an AU, tropes are just something that occur in a chapter but the over all fic is very much an AU, which has very specific elements. But whatever... Unfortunately there is no arguing the morals of this turn of events with these people attacking me in Charlee’s name, because when you try to question their angle of defence they just block you. (Then unblock you later on to continue telling you how wrong it is to have an opinion on your own work!) To elaborate a little on my concerns, I’ll say this... YES! Mother fuckers! I know I did not invent timetravel, or any devices used to facilitate that! Change the Goddamned record! I do however feel it is not unreasonable to have an issue with someone claiming not to know of my story one second, then just so happening to add in a plot point to their work that is the very cornerstone of my entire story, a week after admitting to learning of my work. Then on top of that, going ahead and changing the title, and posting it here -after having said they’d delete- AND claiming that I’d seen the story and approved it AFTER the changes have been made. Changes that I was COMPLETELY unaware of! Changes that would have continued to go unknown to me without an anon tipping me off! Because I was not tagged in the post that Charlee made with her story either on here or AO3, and I made it clear in my first response to Charlee last week that I do not read any fics or following the RDR fandom. The biggest issue in all this for me is that Charlee claimed I was okay with the stories content, when I was completely unaware of the changes she’d made. In the bigger picture it is also somewhat concerning to me that Charlee’s story is a reader insert, which predominantly gain more attention (especially on Tumblr) than original character fictions. Which, for the record, I have no issue with in general, we’re all just trying to enjoy ourselves with words. However, I’ll admit, I was concerned about Charlee continuing with her story in its revised form since we’re both playing to the same audience, and Charlee would have potentially been attracting a different/wider viewership on a reader insert (posting both on AO3 and Tumblr) and how that would potentially lead to people to accuse me of copying at some point down the line. For a bit of context... I have over two hundred thousand words of Wish Upon in first draft, waiting to be edited and posted. I have over one hundred and fifty thousand words already shared on AO3. There’s plenty of eyes out there to read both our work, it’s not an issue of who gets more attention or any other shit you lot would like to throw. I’d take one kudos and heartfelt comment over a 100 likes any day. The issue is that there’s a good chance that by the time I get to publish, let’s say, chapter thirty, that Charlee could have already explored the events of that chapter of my story. Which would then potentially cause her readers to come for me, claiming my work is a derivative of hers, when in fact the story I’ve spent two years writing is already finished in first draft, and is just awaiting final editing - which I cannot do quickly enough due to real life pressures! Is it wrong of me to be concerned about and want to avoid that kind of finger pointing bullshit, after having put so much time and effort into this story? Yes, it’s possible that it was a coincidence that Charlee decided to add a stone/necklace to her story, no one can prove it one way or the other beyond reasonable doubt. However, I am not going to pull punches on this one, and I’ll say I find it extremely questionable that this change to her story occurred AFTER finding Wish Upon, and AFTER the story views on AO3 went from 1042 to 1158 (with no new kudos/comments added) between this drama starting and as I type this. Someone was obviously reading my work over the past week, and with no update/bumps on it, I have to question who it actually was and how my work was discovered since it’s way down on the recent updates on AO3.... Anyway, the bottom line is Charlee claims she didn’t copy, I claim it’s a possibility that she may have, either consciously or unconsciously. BUT I gave her the benefit of the doubt on the vague similarities last week. But like I said, this isn’t just about copying ideas. It’s about claiming I’m okay with something that I was completely unaware of, and did not give my approval to. Whatever the case, I do not think it’s unreasonable for me to have issues with what’s occurred in regard to how Charlee has handled this matter. As a result of this drama being bought to Tumblr, I have been inundated with messages. Some from strangers showing support and raising concerns for my story and welfare, which I appreciate. Unfortunately, however, I have had even more people sending me increasingly hateful and combative messages. Attacking me for daring to question Charlee (who’s apparently been in the RDR2 fandom since August) and paint me as the bad guy over the issue of these changes Charlee made of her own freewill. My blog is now getting likes/reblogs from a bunch of people who I do not know, do not follow me, and have no reason to find my blog other than because of this drama! So it seems obvious to me that links to my page are being shared around somewhere out there and hate is being encouraged in my direction. Back to the matter at hand... Early this morning I politely suggested that Charlee come forward and make a post on her own blog, for her followers, to explain what had happened with adding the necklace and changing the title etc. While I waited for her to do that, I made a post of my own to address anyone following me who may have been involved provoking drama. Charlee decided not to make a post explaining the introduction of the necklace in her story, giving me a bunch of excuses as to why she didn’t want to, and some point today she decided to delete her account entirely instead. I’m now getting blamed for that, with people saying I had a hand in chasing Charlee off this site. When you can count the amount of messages (all civil and even toned) I sent her/regarding her on both hands and have still have free fingers. When I logged off early this morning her blog still existed. The first I heard of her deleting was an hour ago when I came on to find yet more drama had graced my inbox/DM’s in the wake of her flouncing. I couldn’t even interact with her if I wanted to, because she blocked me last night for reasons I do not understand, after I requested she explain the situation on her blog to square all this away once and for all. (I’m happy to share the full DM’s she sent me which are not polite and seem slightly combative from her end.) If the court of Tumblr want to come hang me for being concerned and questioning someone using my story concept AFTER being made aware of my story’s content - then go ahead, because I did that directly with Charlee in private. I did not bring this matter to Tumblr. It could have been dealt with privately or just on AO3. Charlee chose to highlight this for other people to see on here, why I do not know. But she tagged her original post last week so the entire fandom could see and jump on it. I didn’t have anything to do with that, so don’t any of you faceless haters fuckin’ dare come at me saying I encouraged or orchestrated harassment over this because I had absolutely fuck all to do with it at any point!!!! I’m wise enough to know attacking someone over plagiarism is pathetic, because plagiarism is solely an academic standard. This issue would be a matter of copyright. And you cannot copyright a fan fic, because by definition fan fic is copyright infringement. You cannot copyright tropes and I have never claimed dominion over any tropes in my story. This is fundamentally a moral issue, and I do not think it is unreasonable to have concerns about someone changing their story to use the exact same elements of a story to the one I’ve been writing for nearly two years. Especially in a fanom as new and as small as Red Dead is. And THEN claiming that I’m perfectly fine with the changes they made that I was TOTALLY unaware of! But if it makes me the bad guy for not being supportive of someone who for all I know saw my idea and ran with it, then fuck it - What can I say? I’m obviously the bad guy! Go get your guns! If you can’t accept it’s an appropriate response to be concerned by seeing someone do that to your ideas (and going on to add more of them to their work after you’d written the first concerns off as a non-issue) then it’s not my place to convince you. To the best of my knowledge I am “persona non grata” in the Red Dead fandom. I have thousands of followers, from various older fandoms since I’ve been here since 2012, but I do not interact with anyone with an interest in Red Dead beyond responding to comments on my work on AO3 and the occasional ask on my story blog. I do not have a support network on here. I do not post my work here, because every time I have it’s been ignored. I do not have fandom or followings that I can call upon to defend me, or people I can tag to come to my aid. However, I do truly appreciate that strangers out there have taken it upon themselves to alert me to what’s going on, since I do not follow fandom in any respect. However, I ask that they take a moment to consider HOW they go about addressing matters like this now, and at any point in the future, and that if anyone is still sending messages to other people on my behalf about this issue then I ask them to stop now. It’s between Charlee and I. Not Charlee, me, five of her friends, and twenty trolling anons showing their asses! Yes, Charlee also chose to add a necklace/stone into her story after admitting to finding my work. That could have been an innocent mistake, it could have been deliberate, who knows! I gave the benefit of the doubt once, only to wind up getting shit on and attacked by people defending her actions! Yes, maybe Charlee didn’t have any ill intent with saying I’d approved changes I didn’t know about. All we have is her word, and I don’t know her from Adam. I gave a pass the first time round, only for this to end up happening. Whatever the case really is, it’s not my fault that Charlee chose to include a necklace/stone in her story after discovering my story. She claimed to never have read my work, even after being made aware of it, but perhaps if she had made that effort to read it this could have been completely avoided. It’s also not my fault that Charlee decided to publically post about the drama that kicked all this off last week. Calling her dogs to come and attack me over comments people I do not know made on her story. And finally - for all the anon’s from Charlee’s camp, or any other, sending me actual hate and shitting on my writing, and pulling the old Tumblr classic of bravely telling me on anon that I should kill myself because Charlee deleted - fuck the lot of you! This is the last I’m going to say on this matter, I am fuckin’ done with this shit. I will not be deleting my blog, I will not stop writing my story, and I will not be engaging in anyone else who wants to keep prolonging the life of this particular unnecessary bullshit drama! The facts are there. It’s up to you to interpret them however you wish, but let’s be grown-ups about it, please? We’re all just here to try and show some love to a virtual cowboy who hates himself. There’s enough shit in the world right now, we don’t need to be adding to it over a Goddamn fan-fic!

#fan-dram #fandom #writing #writing is hard #Wish Upon #tired of the drama on this fuckin' site #I don't come on here for months and STILL this shit goes on #another night wasted dealing with this crap #when I could have been writing #thanks Tumblr!

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