#Señor Soul

[tfc2211]

01 - Frank Zappa - Hot Poop (intro) (from 'We're Only In It For The Money', 1968) 02 - Señor Soul - The Mouse (from 'It's Your Thing' 1969 / Double Shot & Whiz - available on 'What It Is Y'all' / BGP) 03 - Rasputin's Stash - Hit It & Pass It (from 'The Devil Made Me Do It' 1974 / Gemigo - reissued in 2000 / Sequel) 04 - The Vibrations - The Man (from 'The Vibrations' Lp, 1972 / Mandala) 05 - Calypso Kings & The Soul Investigators - Compin' & Smokin' (from 'Compin' & Smokin'/Damper Down Popcorn' 7inch, 1999 / Soul Fire) 06 - The Coasters - Soul Pad (from 'Soul Pad' 7inch, 1967 / Date) 07 - The Masters - Party Time (from 'Funk spectrum - Compiled by Josh Davis and Keb Darge' 1999 / BBE) 08 - Organization - Smokey Feeling (from 'Creative Sounds of the Organization' 1974 / Wirl - available on 'Trippin' 1996 / Luv'N'Haight 09 - Sixto Rodriguez - Sugarman (from 'David Holmes presents Come & Get It U Got it', 2002 / 13 Amp) 10 - Willard Burton & The Pacifiers - Warm The Pot ('Til It's Good & Hot) (from 'Warm The Pot ('Til It's Good & Hot)' 7-inch, 1976 / Money - available on 'Superfunk 2' 2001 / BGP) 11 - The Politicians - Everything Good Is Bad (from 'The Politicians featuring McKinley Jackson' 1972 / Hot Wax)

Info : Selected and mixed by Mister Moo (T.I.M.E.C.) Artwork by Djouls, Stashboxes photos by Mister Moo

[soulmusicsongs]

Mucho Funky - Señor Soul (Double Shot Records, 1968)

[onepiece-polls]

Ugly Outfits Tournament - Round 3 Side C

Propaganda under the cut.

Cracker: His hair looks like a donger and he has cookies hanging off his pants. Genuinely what even. The only slightly redeemable part of his outfit is the cape.

Brook: Aside from the fact that all of those colors clash, the striped pants with a polka dot shirt is a choice.

Señor Pink:

Do I really need to say anything? Mans is wearing a bonnet, diaper, and binky and he's not even doing it for kinky reasons. The worst part is that his outfit is tied directly to his tragic backstory and that its an actually good reason.

I don't care how tragic his backstory is, this guy looks like he needs a restraining order.

[nani-nonny]

*ugly cries*

I may be doing this for myself but honestly this is so motivating <3333333

Maybe I’ll spoil a little bit of WDS Señor Hueso and F!Leo

Señor Hueso looks over his shoulder at Leonardo and says, “Although, you are much more helpful this way. I can’t count the number of times Pepino took so long to help me out. And yet he always comes to me when he needs help. It’s always something with that boy, ¡Ayudame, Señor Hueso! Mis hermanos this, mis hermanos that. —Do you remember breaking my miniature ship model by stuffing it into a briefcase?”

Leonardo smiles as he watches Hueso grab a menu from the host stand and guides a new set of customers to a booth.

And this too because @middlechildkin inspired me

A soft swirl of the bottle then it’s handed to Leonardo who stares at it for a few seconds.

“Tómalo, tortuga,” Señor Hueso urges as he shakes the bottle slightly.

Leonardo takes the bottle and watches the bone man prepare a second before it’s raised towards him. He raises his bottle with Señor Hueso who taps their bottles together with a soft clink.

“Salud,” Señor Hueso says softly before taking a sip.

“Salud,” Leonardo repeats and follows suit.

I’m really digging into my memories searching for those times I had 3AM drinks in the backyard with my cousins and abuela, funnily enough she was called Big Mama too, and sharing a few modelos just like Hueso and f!leo… nice to think about :)

I’d like to have another night like that some day, just a few drinks and having deep talks with Spanish music playing in the background. I remember singing along to Cielito Lindo with my abuela and my older cousin crying over the song because he was wasted.

Lol maybe I’ve shared too much :))) I’m just feeling sentimental

[barbiebiddie]

posting this from 6ft under btw

[johnwickb1tsch]

A Walk in the Clouds/Don John crossover outline that's turning into a fic Part 5 ~

Paul Sutton x fem!Reader x Don John triangle

You grow up at Las Nubes vineyard, and have to go home to your dying father. You take your fake new husband, Sgt Paul Sutton, with you... Warnings: His Hotness don John being a bully 🙃 <----Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 chapter map

-Life moves at its own pace at Las Nubes. True, it is a vineyard, but it is also a working farm, a self-reliant symbiosis of the land, the beasts, and the men and women who tend them. There are sheep and chickens and pigs and of course, the pride of the land owning Californio: horses. There is always something to be done, when you are not tending your father, so when the chance comes at the siesta break you pounce on it to write a little in your diary. Everyone else is asleep, or at least resting during the hottest part of the day, and its almost as though you have the place to yourself by the duck pond in the shade of the courtyard. You throw them little morsels of stale bread, smiling at the happy way they wag their tails and mutter as they nibble. 

The hens enjoy themselves, at least, until the drake decides yet again that it’s time to bestow his special attentions. There is one hen in particular he favors, and you wince as it looks more like he’s trying to drown her than make love. The poor thing has a little bald patch on the back of her head from him biting her to hold on as he rides her. 

“Leave her alone,” you say, poking at him with a stick to dislodge him from the poor girl. She shakes it off and goes back to her bread. He makes his complaints to you, but retreats to the far side of the fountain. 

“Poor bastard. You didn’t even let him finish.” 

You jump a little at the sound of don Juan’s voice, not having expected to see anyone around. Warily you watch him as he takes the seat next to yours, his long legs sprawled out before him. He wipes his face with a handkerchief; he’s been doing something in the fields, perhaps, or out with his prized stallion. He seems tired, but content; whatever chore he labored at must have gone well. 

“He’s too much of a pest,” you say. “He needs to be sent to the cook pot.” 

Juan smirks over at you. “But then where will my ducklings come from?”

You make a sound between your teeth at that, and he goes on, “I like him. He is exactly what God made him. He does not have to apologize for it.”

It’s true, that he’s a handsome fellow, with his iridescent emerald green head and the proud curl of his drake feathers on his behind. “He looks like pato asado to me.”  

“You would take his life?” poses Juan, clearly enjoying playing the foil. He was always like this, even when you were children. Always taking the opposing side, for the sake of being contrary. “For being a man of passions?”

“For hurting his females for the sake of indulging his passions. He’s supposed to protect them.”

“Ah, well. Everything comes with a price.” 

You look over at don Juan, devastatingly handsome, even in a dusty work shirt open at the collar, his long legs encased to the knee in well-worn leather boots. Once you might have sold your soul, to possess this man for yourself. 

Now you realize, some prices are too high. 

“What do you want, Juan?” you ask cautiously. You can tell that strangely he’s in one of his more playful moods. That doesn’t mean you’re safe by half.

“Just to talk.”

“About?”

He leans in across the table, his dark eyes raking over you. You hate it, how that still gives you such a guilty thrill. “I have a proposition that may interest you.”

“Is this a proposition you would not like my husband to overhear?”

Now it is he who makes the frustrated hiss between his sharp teeth, sneering. “Come off it. You are no more married to that man than I am the Pope.” 

“Señor, how you offend me.” 

He narrows his eyes to slits, but a smirk pulls at the corner of his proud lips. He is enjoying himself–and that worries you. “I understand you, y/n, better than you think.”

You’re afraid that might be true.

“Oh?”

“I have always known you have a heart not easily tamed. Perhaps it is why I have always loved you.”

“Juan…”

“Marry me, y/n. Be the mistress of this place. Of your own destiny. I will give you your room with your typewriter in the tower, overlooking this.” He holds his arms wide, encompassing the entirety of Las Nubes. “There is no better view, no better place to be on this Earth. Your only master shall be me.”

Many things can be said of don Juan. If there is something you know he does truly love, it is Las Nubes. He is a man of this land, and you understand he truly cannot fathom wanting to be anywhere else. 

Then, you realize that he must have been spying on you and Paul in the pool that night, and that maybe he really does know everything. 

Once, being crowned reina of this estate might have been your fondest dream, something so far out of your grasp there was never any sense in even thinking of it in the light of day. Now…you know that binding yourself to Juan would be like offering your ankle up for a gilded ball and chain. 

He would destroy you, little by little. Maybe not even maliciously, but in spite of himself. He is what he is, and you are what you are. 

It would be war. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you say, tracing a finger over the edge of your little diary, unable to meet his burning eyes while your heart beats too fast in your throat. “I’m already married, and you are engaged.”

“To some girl I’ve never met, two-thousand miles away? What is she to me, but a dowry? We don’t need it. The harvest was generous; the land blesses us as always. We take care of Las Nubes, and she takes care of us.”

You can feel his eyes boring into you, and it sends an uneasy thrill down your spine.   

“I’m sorry, señor. You’re too late. Don’t marry her if it displeases you. But you must find yourself a different bride–I am taken.”

You physically feel the change in the air, as his jovial bonhomie shifts to blackness, like a thunderhead looming. Yet somehow it surprises you when he moves like lightning, snatching you up in his unforgiving arms, his grip on your wrists bruising. “WIllful girl. I offer you this highest honor, and you throw it back in my face? I will prove that you are lying to me,” he tells you, his voice low in your ear. He takes a deep breath, inhaling the scent of your fear. “And then, I will claim what is mine.” 

“Let go of me.”

“What if I don’t?” he demands, delighted by the thought of a fight. You can see the spark in his eyes. Despite his anger; this is fun for him, and you know a marriage to this man would never know peace. He would terrorize you for nothing if not his own amusement. Maybe he would give you a room in the tower–but its more likely he would lock you in it. 

“Y/n?” Again, Paul rides to your rescue, approaching from somewhere beyond the wall. 

Before you can answer this time, don Juan presses his mouth to yours in a punishing kiss, your teeth clashing in his furious bid to claim you. This time, he remembers to retreat before you can bite him too, releasing you so abruptly you fall back into your chair. With a dramatic sweep of his arm he knocks your diary into the fountain before stalking away on those long legs. “How clumsy of me!”

You shriek, diving for the little book. 

That is how Paul finds you, on your knees by the water, crying over your inked words now obliterated. 

“Y/n?” He falls to his knees beside you, at first not understanding, searching you for injury. “Are you alright?”

You hold up the little book, half the pages now more resembling a watercolor painting. “It’s ruined.” 

“Oh.” He frowns, not wanting to belittle this thing that clearly distresses you, but not understanding nonetheless. “Can’t you…write it again?”

You know you’ll never be able to recreate exactly what you’d put down there. You won’t be able to remember what you wrote, in the throes of feverish inspiration, the manic fugue of the cosmic muse whispering through your writing hand. 

Amidst your own daily musings, you’ve been writing a story about a spirited young lady who meets a handsome veteran on a bus. 

You shake your head, crestfallen, and Paul’s frown darkens for you. 

“What happened?”

You don’t know if he saw the tailend of don Juan turning the corner before he made the scene, but a part of you fears that if you tell on the master there will be a fight. “I dropped it,” you say meekly. 

For a moment, you can tell he wants to argue, but because he’s a better man than anyone here, he lets it go. “Ok, sweetheart. Let’s go see if we can get it dried out.”

You are beginning to see this miraculous thing about Paul. When you are dead set that a thing is doomed, he still finds hope. Although you’re mostly certain the diary is ruined, you still feel better returning to your room with his arm around your shoulders. 

Maybe you can rewrite it after all.  

[spanishskulduggery]

Does Spanish have any alternatives to novio/a? Like equivalents of "significant other" or like "my old man/lady" or "my better half" for example

Sort of, yes

The most basic word for it is mi pareja which is "my partner/pair" [literally la pareja is feminine but can be applied to anyone since it is "pair"]

This is used for both people dating and people who are married; mi pareja is as gender neutral and vague as you can get

The other option is typically la media naranja which is colloquially understood as "soulmate" or "other half" [lit. it is "half an orange"]; this is generally understood as romantic

Sometimes you see (el) alma gemela [el alma gemela is literally "twin soul"; el alma is technically feminine but takes a masculine article in singular] which sometimes people use as "kindred spirit", so it can come across as platonic or possibly romantic

-

Other words you might see - mi mejor mitad "my better half" which is literal

I've seen mi viejo/a which is literally "my old man/lady" in some places

I have also seen el don and la doña used like "oh I have to check with la doña" - these are kind of like "the mister" and "the missus"

[literally they were terms of nobility for people who owned land or were nobility...... but today don (first name) or doña (first name) for men and women is like "Mr/Mrs", but often with first names - while señor/señora is + surname; they do make you think of an older person though so it can read as "my old man/lady" not a teenager or younger adult... the exact literal translation is something like "landowner" or "landlord/landlady" as someone who owns a title/plot of land, and it's related to "to own" in Spanish]

...

Also used colloquially is el jefe or la jefa which is literally "the boss". Sometimes people use this in a humorous way

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Back Again -Pedri González

Summary: After 65 days out, your boyfriend's back where he belongs, still you can't help but worry for his recent injury once more when he gets fouled.

"PEDRI, PEDRI, PEDRI" You and the crowd where chanting your boyfriend's name over and over again after seeing him warm up during the begginings of the second half against Atlético de Madrid

"He's waiting" You hear Fer, Pedro's brother tell you as your eyes went back to the number 8. You smiled cheering the moment, Ferran clapped his hands with Pedri's, the latter one running in the pitch

"He's back!" You cheered like a school girl for him, Fer laughing at you, you hugged his arm moving him around a bit, he was looking down at his phone watching the video he just took.

Your screams could be heard and so were the audience's ones.

"I'm feeling over the moon" You mumbled "I dont even care if we win or if we don't. I'm just glad, he's back. I'm happy he's happy. I'm happy he's back. I'm gonna explode from the happiness I'm feeling for him" You said tears threating to spill from your eyes, you shook your head "I-" You laughed looking down, tears escaping

"You're crying?" You nod feeling Fer hug you whlist laughing "Don't worry, cariño. He's back for good, he's Pepi, no one can stop him" You smiled

"I never want to see him so sad and defeated like he used to be lately. He looked like a lost puppy and I just don't-" You cut yourself off, crying.

"He's fine, love. He's fine" Fer kissed your hairline as he hugged you "He's back and we are all happy for it" You nod "Now, wipe those tears, if he sees you like this, he will kill me thinking I did something to you" You laughed "and let's cheer for that tonto and see if he can score on his return" You sniffed wiping your tears and fixing your Barca jersey, the yellow kit with the 8 on your back.

Even though Barcelona was winning they seemed a bit lost that was until Pedri came in and the game did an incredible change.

You were feeling so proud you couldn't contain yourself. Everything was good until you saw that Atlético player foul Pedri pretty rude and bad.

You gasped standing up from your seat, heart ready to go out from your mouth and soul ready to leave your body too. You were feeling like you were going to pass out, you paled and prayed it was just a mere foul, not something big that could get him out for another uncertain amount of time, praying that nothing happened with his injury, that he was alright. You just got him back there.

You couldn't see properly who but you did see some of Pedri's teammates get close to him asking him if he was alright, which you could guess he said yes because he was soon up and kept on playing.

"No! No! Is he alright? Please tell me he's alright. I'm gonna pass out. Fernando please tell me he's good. Can't feel my legs... Or heart for that matter"

"Hey, you calm down" He said passing you a bit of Gatorade as you chunked it down all the way "He's good, he's good. He's looking at us now" Your eyes danced to find Pedri and once you did he gave you a thumbs up as you smiled back at him and blew him a kiss.

"Ay, ave María purísima, gracias al cielo, señor, he's alright" You said quickly nodding several times to make yourself believe he was alright

"He is" Fer reassured you nodding

The game went on as if nothing had happened, when Gavi dribbled among five players and passed the ball to Pedri, who quickly as soon as he touched it, he kicked it inside the net. The whole Camp Nou stadium roared, screamed and cheered. He officially sealed his comeback.

Pedri ran towards you were seated and after he put his glasses back on, he made your initial and sent you a kiss "Te quiero" You read his lips and smiled clapping for him

"Y yo a ti" You mouthed back watching him smile and be hugged by his teammates.

Soon the match was over 2-0, goals by Ferran and Pedri. Pedri was proclaimed as the MVP of the match, making you incredibly happy.

After a while, you were waiting for the team to step out of their changing room or most likely, for your boyfriend to come out

"You'll make a hole on the ground" Fer's voice snapped you back to life and blushed a bit stopping your leg movement

"Sorry" You let out a breath combined with a laughter"I just wanna see him"

"And you can see me" Your boyfriend's voice sounded behind you, making you turn around instantly.

His smile greeted you, his beautiful and rosy cheeks were still making an appearance, his hair wet from the shower. You were taking him in when Fer's laugh pulled you out of your thoughts

"¡Venga, hermanito!" Fer yelled "Congratulations, you did good out there"

"Missed a few balls here and there" Pedri said frustrated but you shook your head

"Nothing the team and you couldn't handle" Fer smiled "Really happy for you to be back hermanito"

"Gracias Fer" Pedro said smiling before turning his attention back to you "Cat got your tongue?" He joked a bit coming over to hug you.

Suddenly all you could remember was when that Atleti player fouled Pedri and images of him once more on the ground filled your eyes and head

"Are you okay?" You whisper-asked grabbing his cheeks, inspecting him. His hands went to your waist while nodding with a smile on "Are you sure? Nothing hurts? No strains? All good?" To each of your questions, Pedro nodded or shook his head smiling

"I am good, bonita" He smiled "Everything good" His grip on your waist tightening "Saw you were a bit nervous"

"Nervous?" You laughed separating a bit from him "I shitted my pants, González. Didn't wanted anything bad happening to you once more. Can't stand seeing you so down like you used to be around the house and you want to play so badly and no one can bear another Barca injury" Pedri laughed

"I'm good, I promise" You smiled watching his beautiful brown eyes

"Then... Congratulations, MVP" He laughed leaning down to kiss you properly

"Goal was for you... Like always" You giggled

"Loved it, thank you" Your hands went to his hair playing with it "and loved seeing you with your glasses back on"

"Missed it" He declared as you smiled at each other. You leaned closer and kissed his lips

"Bro... Sis" Fer interrupted you making you laugh "Gotta go have to work early tomorrow. But congrats once more, hermanito. Really proud of you and love you" Pedri smiled hugging Fer

"Thanks hermano. Love you too" Fer turned around and hugged you too "Cálmate que él está bien, que no te de otro patatus" (Calm yourself down, he's alright. We don't want another attack for you) You both laughed talking about your almost-passing-out moment.

You both watched when Fer left when you felt Pedri's hands on your waist once more

"So... You're okay?" You asked again gaining a laugh from him as he nodded

"I'm good, bonita. Promise you. So good, I scored tonight" He smirked "And hopefully I'll score a few more later on" You blushed immediately getting his reference and pulled yourself closer to him

"Can't wait for it, lindo"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld

[maybedr3am]

Oh Señor Charro!

Technically today's jashtober, Soul as my favorite Mexican Devil hehehe.

Also de Sketch, cuz I liked it too :)!

[tfc2211]

Play ▶ Mr Moo's Hippie Funk Stash Vol 1

Tracks 01 - Frank Zappa - Hot Poop (intro) (from 'We're Only In It For The Money', 1968) 02 - Señor Soul - The Mouse (from 'It's Your Thing' 1969 / Double Shot & Whiz - available on 'What It Is Y'all' / BGP) 03 - Rasputin's Stash - Hit It & Pass It (from 'The Devil Made Me Do It' 1974 / Gemigo - reissued in 2000 / Sequel) 04 - The Vibrations - The Man (from 'The Vibrations' Lp, 1972 / Mandala) 05 - Calypso Kings & The Soul Investigators - Compin' & Smokin' (from 'Compin' & Smokin'/Damper Down Popcorn' 7inch, 1999 / Soul Fire) 06 - The Coasters - Soul Pad (from 'Soul Pad' 7inch, 1967 / Date) 07 - The Masters - Party Time (from 'Funk spectrum - Compiled by Josh Davis and Keb Darge' 1999 / BBE) 08 - Organization - Smokey Feeling (from 'Creative Sounds of the Organization' 1974 / Wirl - available on 'Trippin' 1996 / Luv'N'Haight 09 - Sixto Rodriguez - Sugarman (from 'David Holmes presents Come & Get It U Got it', 2002 / 13 Amp) 10 - Willard Burton & The Pacifiers - Warm The Pot ('Til It's Good & Hot) (from 'Warm The Pot ('Til It's Good & Hot)' 7-inch, 1976 / Money - available on 'Superfunk 2' 2001 / BGP) 11 - The Politicians - Everything Good Is Bad (from 'The Politicians featuring McKinley Jackson' 1972 / Hot Wax)

Info : Selected and mixed by Mister Moo (T.I.M.E.C.) Artwork by Djouls, Stashboxes photos by Mister Moo

Also here:  Mr_Moo-Hippie_Funk_Stash_Vol1.mp3

[madwomansapologist]

━ ✧ unraveling you | chapter 3 - the hound and its leash

masterlist | pinterest board | spotify playlist |  AO3

series synopsis: Trapped inside Westview, Agatha Harkness was reduced to Agnes. The noisy neighbor and nothing more than that. Until a meteor rain brought something strong to Westview. Something strong enough to help her, and maybe strong enough to free her. You. In a journey to save herself by teaching you the ways of magic, Agatha Harkness wants one thing only: to avenge herself.

Leaning against the door frame, Agnes blew the cup of tea between her hands. She watched your back as you sat on the ground with a canvas between your legs and placed some paint pots near the fence on the backyard.

― Where did you found those old things? ― Agnes yelled from inside the house, forcing herself to remain distant from you. ― They look a century old.

― The attic, I think ― you shrugged, more interested on your canvas than on her. Agnes sighed. ― I wasn’t paying attention.

Of course you weren’t. Your mind is always somewhere far away. Not that she’s one to judge you. Agnes’ body may be trapped here, but her mind is quick to wander away from Westview. From this hellish house.

Kitchen with such white walls, a couch far too small in the living room, curtains so thin they’re almost transparent. Nothing feels right. Fire that doesn’t burn, smoke that doesn’t choke. A house, not a home. Simply a vessel, bending as the scarlet witch decides it’s time to.

Stop, the voice inside her head demanded. Her voice. She must remember: it’s her voice. Agatha Harkness. That’s her name. That’s her voice. That’s not the truth. Admit it. Don’t lie to us. Do never lie to us again.

― I’m delirious ― Agnes said instinctively. She wasn’t even aware that word was about to come out of her mouth. Still, it felt right. It felt true. ― Insomnia, paranoia, hallucinations. I can’t trust myself.

Madness. Most of the time, Agnes is able to notice when her perception of the world around her isn’t to be trusted. When her thoughts aren’t right, and the things she sees aren’t really there. The house is the same as it has always been. The problem is her mind. Six months trapped inside herself, dreaming a dream that doesn’t end.

Before an wolf chasing her enemies, now just a rabbit with a broken paw.

― I mean no offense ― she sat on the floor, reaching out for Señor Scratchy. He jumped to her lap, enjoying Agnes’ warm hands. He bit at her fingers, not meaning to hurt her. She does the same all the time. ― Not that you would understand that.

Hope meant so little now. Hope wouldn’t save her, wouldn’t glue the broken pieces of her soul back together. She can’t go back to be the powerful being she once was. Not after being defeated, humiliated again and again. But rage would do it. Rage would lift her up.

The house looked just like a house now.

Agnes grabbed the books for your classes. She tried to mess with Wanda’s head, make her see that her reality was just as fake as the old shows she loved, and that created a chaos Agnes wasn’t ready to deal with. With you, she’ll be more subtle. All Agnes need is for you to question your reality.

At the backyard once again, she almost stepped on a canvas. Agnes kneeled down to get it out of the way but found herself unable to move. A wide sky, in tones of blue and purple. Great stars, comets, nebulae. It was… intricate. Complex. An elaborated design.

Your laugh made her look away from it. The blonde girl sat next to you made her worry. She had a rose on her hands, once yellow but now carefully painted purple. Just as you had one of Agnes’ flowers dripping yellow paint.

― A guest ― Agnes smiled, but her high pitched tone wasn’t as polite as it usually is. She knows that child. Sarah’s kid. Meanwhile Dottie had a busy life being the mean neighbor, her kid got locked away on her bedroom for weeks. ― Does your mom knows you’re here?

She doesn’t. Agnes knows that. Sarah hates her guts, she would never let her precious daughter be a guest in a witch’s house.

That put another smile to her face. A more real one, more cruel one. They all know she’s a witch. She came after the hex, and most of them saw some aspect of her fight with Wanda. Her neighbors just think she was unable to stand against her, used as the final boss in their broken sitcom.

Not Sarah. She knows Agnes did nothing to help them because she didn’t want to. Because it wouldn’t have beneficted her. Somehow, and that Agnes isn’t aware of, she found a proof of her free will during the period Wanda controlled them.

It feels nice to be understood.

― A lovely guest ― you said. ― We’re working on a special project.

― Painting flowers? A waste of time. Paint. And flowers.

― We’re the Red Queen’s soldiers ― the girl explained. Agnes tried, but she couldn’t remember her name. ― She ordened us to paint the roses red. Since we don’t have red paint, we are improvising.

― My idea ― you took another of Agnes’ flowers. She doesn’t like to see them yellow, but hates the idea of seeing them red.

― I gonna hide this one in my mom’s garden and see how long it takes for her to notice it.

Agnes sat away from you both, watching as you ruined her flowers. You tried to get her to participate, she pretended to be reading. After a few minutes, she heard Sarah calling for someone named Giselle.

― Over here! ― Agnes yelled.

Sarah approached the gap in their fences, unsure if Agnes was talking to her. She usually does her best to pretend not to notice the witch’s existence. To see someone else there surprised Sarah. But besides the woman stood her daughter.

In a matter of seconds she was holding Giselle’s arm, pulling her towards their home.

― What did I said to you? ― Sarah hissed at her daughter. She turned to Agnes, pointing at her. ― Get away from my family.

Agnes looked so at peace, so put together, but you could feel it. The boiling rage of being insulted and unable to react. Looking at Agnes, you didn’t saw the woman you came to know. You saw a hound dog incapable of biting back.

― Then maybe you should get your family away from me ― she barked. Her mouth tasted like iron. ― Have a nice day, neighbor!

Giselle gave you a sadly smile, and you waved at her. Agnes sat again, mouth shut and eyes tired, anger just a layer beneath her skin. You looked at the flower drying. It wasn’t fun anymore.

― What is your favorite flower? ― You tried to distract Agnes from whatever she was thinking about. To make that feeling echoing from her cease to exist.

― I don’t have one.

― Then you’re a liar.

― I just… ― she brushed her eyes after they twiched. It wasn’t a good day for her. It getting so much more difficult to control her mind, her feelings. ― I guess orchids. Probably orchids.

― That’s better ― you smiled. ― Now what does an orchid looks like?

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The screen turned black as the movie stopped, reflecting your images. Nothing but your eyes escaped from under the blanket, just two little white dots. Agnes was so focused on devouring buttered popcorn, only now noticing how little of your skin was being show.

― Are you fine? ― She asked, mouth full. You nodded slowly, and Agnes tried to suppress the urge to laugh. ― You don’t seen fine, sweetheart. Remember. There is a different between fiction and reality.

― I can’t even move ― you murmured.

― That’s a children’s movie. Are you so easily scared?

― CHILDREN ARE ALLOWED TO WATCH CORALINE?

― A bit unfair to deny them this feeling.

― Why would they want to feel… that? It’s horrible. I don’t want to ever feel that way again.

Agnes put the popcorn away, licking the salt from her fingers. She looked at the open window. It was getting dark now. Besides you, she didn’t even felt the hours passing by.

― It isn’t that bad. Also, fear is addicting. It makes your mind realizes you own a body. A mortal body, that can perish and rot. Nothing makes one feel more alive than admitting the existence of their own eventual, inescapable death.

Nothing makes her feel more happy than being the one to survive after a battle. Agnes smiled to herself. She missed it. How enemies can accept a common truth: they both will do their best and worse to get out of it alive.

― If it made me feel so awful, why did I liked it? Because I did. Wasn’t I suppose to only like things that are good?

― Just because it was uncomfortable doesn’t mean it was bad. You got angry at her parents. Disliked them because of their indifference. You saw something, thought about it, and got to a logical conclusion. That’s a good thing. Means you can think for yourself. Also, I heard the way your stomach snored as she drank the mango milkshake.

― It looked so good ― the excitement disappeared just as quick as it came. ― It hurts me that mango milkshake don’t exist.

Now Agnes was laughing. How couldn’t she? Her belly ached, but she was too amused to stop. Her skin turned red, lungs begging for air, and Agnes ignored a tear falling throught her cheek.

― It is real ― she was barely able to say it. ― You dumbass.

― No fucking way!

Agnes rose from the couch, heading to the kitchen with the bowl, but stopped in the halfway. She looked at you, shock all over her face.

― Where did you learned that word?

― Don’t know ― you shrugged it off.

― You know what? We deserve mango milkshake.

Walking to the ice cream shop, Agnes felt her body getting lighter. Weeks ago that would make her want to set fire to her skin. At least pain would mean she was feeling something. Now, it brings her joy. To go to places, acting freely: it delights her.

― It burns ― you cried out loud, laughing with milkshake still on your mouth. You sat on a high chair at the back of the shop, and Agnes stopped beside you. So close. ― It is cold, why does it burn?!

― It’s cold ― Agnes giggled. ― Really, really, really cold. Now press your tongue against the roof of your mouth.

You did as she instructed. Agnes reached for you, rubbing your forehead with her thumb. You melt against her touch, eyes suddenly heavy. Something burned inside Agnes.

― Why does it feels better now? ― You whispered.

― No one knows ― Agnes sighed. ― But it does.

Eyes closed, you felt the presence. You heard a melody, one that you already knew. It isn’t the first time this happened. Some people work in tunes, other in colors and feelings. Whenever Sharon is near, you feel cold. Abilash is a breeze, light and comfortable. She haven’t opened her mouth, but you heard her.

You smiled at Sarah, thinking that would be the end of it. Whatever problem she has with Agnes, you know nothing about. Sarah doesn’t have a problem with you, and for you that’s all.

The smile was a little gesture, but a kind one still. Sarah wouldn’t do anything if it wasn’t for that. You looked like a good person. Someone decent, at least. Someone Agnes would hurt without a second thought.

― Hi, Sarah ― your words made Agnes look away from you. ― Have you found the flower yet?

― Aren’t you disgusted at yourself? ― Sarah’s words were clear, but you saw her hands trembling as she looked at Agnes. More than just enraged, Sarah was scared. ― Aren’t you embarrassed?

― Sarah ― Agnes hissed, a smile spreading throught her face. This time you noticed how fake it looked. How insulting it felt. ― Don’t you have a kid to look after?

― Acting as if nothing had happened ― Sarah continued. ― They can fall for your pretty words, but I see the truth. You’re just like that monster that toyed with us. You can fool them, but not me. Watch out, lassie. She’ll only hurt you.

You couldn’t understand what was happening, but you felt it all. Agnes and that same rage once more, but something else was there too. Fault. In some way, Sarah’s words affected her. Maybe they carried truth, maybe they were just cruel, but it hurted Agnes nonetheless.

― I think you better step back ― getting between them both, you covered Agnes from Sarah’s gaze. ― There is no need for that.

Agnes couldn’t look away from you.

So close from Sarah, you allowed her emotions to consume you. The pain, the loneliness. She was hurt and nothing could change it. Helplessness. To be powerless for so long… You too would sometimes forget that things had changed. That hell is before, not around you.

Inside her eyes, you saw a half-open door. The crack glowed in scarlet red. A door she couldn’t fully open, releasing who was trapped inside it. Somehow, you knew. She would rather die than to ever feel that way again.

― It wasn’t your fault ― you spoke softly, a hand rising to stroke her shoulder. ― Don’t carry that burden. It isn’t yours.

As your hand stroke her skin, Sarah stopped breathing. Yes, you were right. It isn’t hers to. Sarah looked at Agnes one last time, before giving you a smile just as kind as the one you gave her.

― Why did… ― Agnes bit her lips. Watching Sarah walk away, she struggled to breath. ― Why did you protected me?

You sat back, your whole body so tired you could fall asleep there. You were exhausted.

― My body did it ― you shrugged. ― You told me scary feelings makes your mind remember that you own a body. Does it work the same way with good feelings?

Agnes hesitated.

― I wouldn’t know. I’m not used to the good ones.

― What a shame ― you poured. ― You deserve good things.

Agnes thought about holding your hand.

― You too.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

― Stop that ― you yelled, trying to clean the mess Señor Scratchy made. ― I will roast you.

Sat on a chair in the backyard, one she bought recently, Agnes took a sip from her tea. The cup on her hands had little purple orchids painted on. She didn’t look up from her book.

― Don’t threaten him ― Agnes turned to the next page. ― Or I will roast you.

The grass wasn’t even green anymore. You were patient, but it was the third time in a row he made another mess right after you cleaned it all up. You barely draw at all.

― Bad habbit ― you hissed. ― Bad habbit.

He ran away, taking one of your brushes with him. Following after Señor Scratchy, you saw the traces of paint he left behind. Less time painting, more time cleaning. Awful, awful rabbit.

― You little thief! No more carrots for you!

You found him in front of the door leading to the basement. He dropped the brush and scratched the door. He didn’t want to mess with you. He just wanted help. You reached for the doorknob.

― Don’t.

Startled, you turned to see Agnes right behind you. You didn’t even heard her. Agnes kneeled down and took the brush from the floor, putting it on your hand. As your fingers brushed against her, you could almost touch her concern. She was trembling.

That’s not the first time Agnes can’t say something out loud. Althought that’s the first she went out of her way to stop you.

― What’s down there? ― You interwined your fingers with hers. She squeezed your hand. ― You can tell me.

― I can’t.

― That’s your home ― you whispered. ― You can.

You opened the door before she could stop you. You won’t allow whatever that is stopping her to control you. That place was left untouched for long enough.

A cold breeze reached you. It didn’t felt like another part of the house, but something entirely different. After the first step down it, it was easier to move. Too alluring to ever stop. By the end of it, you knew it was just an ordinary basement.

― See? ― You turned to her. ― Is just a…

You froze as the purple energy moved around Agnes. Coming out of her fingertips, it made impossible for her to move. Agnes couldn’t open her mouth. You heard her teeth clenching. The energy lift her up, just to throw her against the wall.

― Fuck you ― Agnes screamed in pain. It sounded more like a beast than a human. ― And fuck your stupid rules!

You ran after her, but that same energy moved towards her neck. Before you were even able to throw yourself on the ground, Agnes couldn’t breath.

Nothing you did stopped it. Agnes wasn’t breathing. More scared than you have ever been, tears rolled down you face as Agnes writhed on the ground. They fell on her face, but one of them were different. It glistened, like a precious jewel. The crystal disappeared on her skin.

― I’m so sorry ― you call you, hoping that whoever was doing that to Agnes could hear you. With tears blocking your vision, you kept on begging. ― Don’t hurt her. She’s good. Don’t hurt her.

You didn’t saw when things changed. When someone inside you was shattered, giving space to something older and stronger. Something ancient. With a pearly glow, your heart exploded.

Begging for help, you stroked Agnes’ hair. Bowing over the woman who only ever helped you, the wings breaking free from your back were nothing but a little discomfort compared to the cacophony of emotions boiling inside of you.

The pearly light was gone, and the only thing you could see was darkness. Its embrace lulled you into a deep slumber. It was warm. It was welcoming.

Besides you, she knew. With her eyes wide open, tears drying against her skin, air reaching her lungs. She knew it all.

Her name is Agatha Harkness.

GENERAL TAGLIST: @lovelyy-moonlight

UNRAVELING YOU TAGLIST: @harknessshi

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[tell-me-a-tale-that-tells]

YOUR COLOURS

━─┉┈◈❖◈┈┉─━

Request:

I need any kind of soulmate AU , Bruno Madrigal X Reader

━─┉┈◈❖◈┈┉─━

When you were little, your mother told you millions of times about the day she met your father, and you, loving that story, asked her to tell it to you millions of times more.

She recounted that one day, during a walk with some friends, the wind blew away the shawl around her neck and a young beautiful boy picked it up for her, as soon as his hand touched the small piece of cloth, the silk became light blue.

Until a person finds their soulmate, their eyes can only be seen in black and white, but if one of the two predestined touches the same thing in a short amount of time, the object and the world around will slowly become colourful and their love would be strong as a mountain.

The years passed and you got tired of seeing the world only in black, white, grey and all the combinations in between.

One day, you were helping a new married couple, the Mejors, to move from their parent's house to the one their friend Luisa Madrigal had built for them.

Balancing two large boxes in your arms, you crossed the street with your field of view so limited that all you could see was cardboard and because of this one of your feet caught an uneven stone.

You were prepared for hitting the floor, but someone in front of you managed to avoid your fall and with your eyes still closed in fright, you thanked the stranger and entered the couple's house.

"Where do I put these?" You asked.

"In the bedroom, please" Mrs Mejor answered.

You placed the boxes on the floor and as you were about to leave, something caught your eyes.

The bottom box, the one you actually held in your hands was slowly changing colour, from a place grey to a light brown, the tone spreading from a handprint on one side.

"Oh Dios mio" you shrieked.

"Did something broke?" Señor Mejor told you.

"No! The box... The box is changing colour, I can see its colour!" You shouted.

"One of you saw the man that helped me before?" Saying so you walked outside but there was no one to be seen.

"Y/N, that means he is your soulmate. Do not worry, Encanto is not so big" the lady tried to cheer you up.

"I know..." You murmured.

You returned home distraught and with your head in the clouds, you had waited so long for that moment and due to an unfortunate case you were not able to see him.

Not having even eaten a single bite of your food and seeing you down in spirits, your family asked you what had happened, so you told them everything, they were happy for you but sorry that you had missed that very special moment and like Mrs Major, they were confident that you would find him again.

Laying in your bed you trashed around for a while but since sleep wouldn't come you schemed and planned how to find the mysterious man.

You thought of going to the main square and touching as many surfaces as possible hoping that passing by, your soul mate could touch them in turn in a short amount of time.

You soon discarded the idea.

So you imagined of purposely losing a shoe with your name written on it and-

"Ew, that's lame! Who goes around losing shoes without realizing it?" You grunted.

Several days later you informed your father that for the whole day, you would have to help with the decorations of the village in preparation for the Spring equinox.

"Buenos Dias, Y/N" the old lady that lived in front of your house greeted you.

"Buenos Dias señora! ¿Qué se dice de bella hoy?" You asked.

"You did not hear? Bruno Madrigal returned home!" She whispered.

"The one with precognition powers? Mama told me about him once but I was just a kid back then"

"I saw him going that way, be careful, he cause misfortune!" And she pointed the direction with one of her bony fingers.

You lined the streets with decorations and flowers of which colours you could not even imagine, helped by the only member of the Madrigals that could actually create flowers out of nowhere.

The ebb and flow of time seemed to slow to a halt, even the slow setting of the sun took you by surprise and climbing down from the ladder you were on, you saw a stranger talking with Isabela.

He was strangely fascinating and you found yourself staring at him for a few moments until you managed to disenchant yourself.

The man had long curly black hair with grey streaks and looked like he hasn't had a day of sleep in months since his prominent eyebags were impossible to ignore.

He wears a ruana two sizes bigger that has seen better days over a shirt, pants, and a pair of sandals.

"Hello! I'm Y/N, nice to meet you" you said greeting him cheerfully.

You extended your hand but looking at it he took a step backwards, staring at you in disbelief.

"You don't know me?" He demanded.

"No, that's why I'm presenting myself" You responded perplexed.

"I'm Bruno Madrigal, you certainly have heard about me and what I am" told the man fidgeting with his oversized ruana.

"I have, nevertheless, I'm glad to finally meet you" you smiled gently.

He was about to reach for your hand when a cascade of flowers dropped on your head, Bruno tried to catch them but they just brushed his fingers.

"I'm so sorry," Isabella said sincerely "one of the big flower decorations just broke right above you!"

"I'm fine! No need to worry " you laughed but Bruno was walking away.

The flowers on the floor became blue and bright pink, the ground became dark brown and all the rest of the world took finally colour, but as beautiful as it was you didn't care about that.

"Bruno wait!" You called after him.

"No, please. I don't know what you're seeing but there's a mistake." He blurted walking faster.

"We're seeing the same thing! Slow down!" You ran in front of him and blocked his way extending your arms wide open.

"I'm probably older than your parents, don't do this to yourself..." He tried to convince you.

"I've waited all my life for you! Now that I find you...you don't want me, do you?" Your eyes were filling with tears and your heart was hammering in your chest.

He softened a bit "You're my soulmate...I think I'm in love with you, even before you introduced yourself, actually...I've been seeing colours for days, since the time I helped you to not fall."

"You what?" It was your turn to be frightened.

"You touched my clothes, maybe you didn't realize it. Suddenly I was seeing the world as it is and...I ran away." He admitted.

"Why? Tell me why you didn't tell me about it" You implored, grabbing him weakly from his clothes.

"You are so beautiful and young...I didn't make it. I believed there was a mistake. I never had happiness so I thought I wasn't worth it. Or worth of you" he explained, looking down at his sandals.

"Worth of me? We're destined to be together from the day we were born, Bruno. Somewhere in the universe is written that you're made for me as I'm made for you" you said placing your hand on his cheeks, rubbing the skin lovingly with your thumbs "You're perfect and if you'll look into our future, you'll see me always by your side"

Bruno was positively crying at that point, hiding his face in your neck as you held him tight, he was mumbling apologies between sobs and you shushed him gently until he recovered.

"Colours are beautiful, aren't they?" He questioned letting you go and still sniffing a bit.

"Yeah, but nothing compared to you." You responded, stealing a quick peck.

Bruno reddened like a child caught with his hands in a cookie jar, so you stole another kiss but that time he reciprocated.

"I believe my family would love you" he expressed taking one of your hands in his.

You brushed a curly strand from his face, marvelled at how gorgeous were his features and the colour of his eyes.

"You know what? I want to meet them!" You informed him.

"I have to tell you, sometimes they are a bit too much" he wanted you, walking on the way home.

"They seem wonderful, just like you," you said with a laugh.

As the sun disappeared behind the high mountains of Encanto, you walked hand in hand with your soulmate and just at that moment you realized that it's not finding the right person that makes you see the colour of the world all of the sudden but love and being loved surely does.

[red-dye40]

i have another squee ep idea here it is:

squee is in church (weird influx of faith in order to stave off the terrors) n the preacher is talking about sin and about how everything is a sin and we’re all sinners and we’re all going to hell. squee walks home thinking about all the things he’s ever done that can be considered sinful (we get little snippets of him LYING and STAYING UP PAST HIS BEDTIME. TAKING TWO PIECES OF CANDY ON HALLOWEEN WHEN THE SIGN SAID ‘TAKE ONE’ etc) when he passes pepito’s house and notices him sitting outside lookin all sad and pep calls him over and tells him that his dad quit his job (yknow as satan) bc he’s feeling under appreciated in this day and age (he’s picked up model train building to fill the time and pepito doesn’t recognize him at all hence the sad.) squee’s all happy because yay that means he’s not going to hell for all those sins he did! but he soon discovers that without a devil to manage hell, the souls of the damned are being spit back to earth and they’re just running amok!!!! sinnin it up! fuckin on cars and lighting buildings on fire—soon the living get word that there are no repercussions since hell is shut down and it turns into a sinning free for all. squee has to convince señor diablo to go back to work even though he knows that by doing so he’s ensuring his eventual damnation.

at the end of the ep satan is touched by squee’s heartfelt speech or whatever. pep assures squee that the bible has it all wrong and none of those things he’s done will land him in hell and he starts listing off the actual causes for damnation and they’re all even more innocuous things like wearing stripes with plaid and coughing more than three times during a movie etc etc and squee decides to just lock himself in his room and do nothing but pepito knocks on his window and holds up a piece of paper that just says SLOTH!!!! ❌ and squee shrivels up into nothing end of ep

[atvace]

Lady Dior and the Seven Dilfs

Chapter 9: Arrive and Ride

Masterlist

Warning: sex

The sound of the plane landing finally becomes music to everyone's ear. the ass of the plane opens up revealing a few cars and new people you're not familiar with. Let's talk about you, who wouldn't be in shock after getting edged by your lieutenant's knee? yes, that's it. that is the reason why you've been SLIGHTLY quiet for the rest of the ride. But a girl had to be honest, you want more than that.

Soap and Ghost walked towards an athletic man and greeted each other, "Alejandro!" He smiled, "Sergeant Mactavish." The guy looked like in his mid-30s, had a Mexican accent. from afar, You could see he has a wide forehead, a perfectly balanced sharp nose, keen sharp eyes with perfect jawline. his shoulders are broad. he had those compression shirts beneath his vest which made you melt staring at his bicep is well seen. his haircut, God his haircut is perfectly aligned with the shape of his head. you wanna ride-

"Dior!" Soap's calling dragged your senses out of the daydream. You shyly reveal yourself to the sun and walk towards the others. Alejandro has his eyes locked on your figure as you walk by. "This is Dior, a new re-" "Assigned FBI." You smiled at Alejandro and lent out your hand. "Ay, ¹Dios Mio. Nice to meet you, ²cielita." He locks eye contact with you, softly accepting your hand kissing your knuckle like a gentleman. "I am pleasured too, ³señor." You smiled at him.

You deducted him deeper in up close. you could smell his bergamot musky scent, his eyes is brown but turns amber when hit by sunlight. His hair is neatly combed and his hands are veiny. you wonder how they feel when it's playing your cli-

Alejandro chuckles and lets go of your hand slowly before looking over to Ghost. "Lieutenant! Laswell says they call you Ghost."

Soap pointed his thumb to Ghost and laughed, "Actually, I think he prefers to be called-" "That'll do." Ghost cuts Soap off. which made you raised your eyebrow. Huh, you do in fact had any no idea about Ghost's whereabouts except him being british, tea person, ginger biscuit and all.

He gestured the three of you to follow him. "Welcome to City of Souls." He exposes his cheeky smile while walking towards his truck. Soap looked around at the military activity thats going on around them, "I've never been to Mexico." Alejandro raises his eyebrow at his remarks.

"This isn't Mexico, this is Las Almas." He raises his hand showing a few green hills from the distance. "Shepherd's contractors are inbound to reinforce. They're bringing hardware. It'll need a room." Ghost looked over Alejandro. "Relajar Hermano, my base is your base." The Mexican man stops in front of his car.

"Good, now Where can we know anything about the missile?" Ghost asked again. "Cartel safe house. We'll talk about that in my base, hermano." He opened the door and lent his hand to you. "Ladies first, please." He smiles at you softly. "⁴Gracias, el señor." You blow a kiss to him as you enter the car.

Soap got around the car and entered by your left side as Ghost on your right side. there was a driver already inside whilst Alejandro giving orders before entering the shotgun of the car. The air in Las Almas was a little less polluted than in Los Angeles back in your FBI days. you had no trouble settling in the environment hence you're quite used to it.

"This is my second in command, Sergeant Major Rodolfo Parra," He looks at the three of you from the rear mirror. "Ola, señor." You cooed and Rodolfo smiled at you. "⁵tengo miedo de los fantasmas" Rodolfo said quickly shifting his gaze to Ale.

You snorted to yourself and felt Soap and Ghost's eyes on you, "Ah, 'm sorry." you rubbed your eye. Alejandro pursed his lips and looked back at Soap, "You know Spanish?"

"Uhh, no." "No." Soap and Ghost answered. "Well, a green bird taught me how to form a word or two." You shrugged. He laughs softly and puts on his seatbelt, "You'll manage." And by that, Rodolfo pulls up to the destination.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You were enjoying watching the scenery that extends in the mirror of the car watching small shops, flower shops, little cafes, and restaurants that you passed by. but eventually, you got a little tired of keeping your head to yourself trying not to lean to either of the men by your side.

Soap notices your little gesture of uncomfiness and slides his rifle to the other side of his legs so it won't bug you, "You can lay your head on my shoulder if your neck is sore, Dior." He softly said to you. Ghost bit the inside of his cheek while side-eyeing the two of you.

"Oh, no no no. the cielita can use this." Alejandro opens and rummages the inside of his car dashboard quickly. You tilt your head in curiosity and perk up when he reveals a pink Hello Kitty neck pillow. Your heart instantly melts and you reach it from his hand.

"Alejandro, this is so cute," you wore it around your neck and closed your eyes. "Fluffy too.. Thank you so much." You squeezed the pillow as Alejandro chuckled. "I got that from gift exchanging. Los Vaqueros does that every time we celebrate an achievement." He leaned back to his seat.

Soap patted your head before looking back at the window. His pupils constricted at the sight of a white carry truck with 4 men holding guns. His palm grasped at his own rifle and looked straight at the 'target'.

"White truck, four armed in the back-" Alejandro quickly tilt to Soap, "Ay, hey- ⁶tranquilo." He held his palm as Soap let go of his rifle again. "Easy... that's normal here." He said leaning back to his seat.

You were looking at Soap's sudden tension and then back to Alejandro. "Guns on the streets are jurisdiction of the police. " He marked, "Where are the police?" Ghost asked.

Alejandro clears his throat, "Well, Las Almas has a very serious problem. There are few here to uphold the law and many of those who resist corruption..." Ghost looks at Alejandro, "... disappear." He ends.

You look at Soap, "What about the military?" He asked. "Well, because we are well-trained, soldiers are recruited by the narcos." Alejandro rested his head watching the streets. "Why not you?"

Ghost's question made you and Soap glared at him. Even Rodolfo sighed in defeat whilst Alejandro tried not to smile, "We grew up here. They call us Los Vaqueros...cowboys." You raised your eyebrow at his answer.

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy." You said in a relaxed tone. now they're glaring at you but Alejandro nervously rubbed his forehead, "I like you, cielita."

A few minutes went by, your group found themselves waiting for a red light. On the other side of the road, there was a mother and a kid buying balloons with someone holding a gun beside them. Ghost and Soap exchanged looks, "Kids, guns, and balloons.."

"That's a new one," You replied at Soap's remark. "⁷Narcos use generosity to win over the people," Alejandro cooed in. "Even the children?" Soap raised one of his eyebrows. "Especially the children." Rodolfo continued.

Another red light made Rodolfo stop the car. You peered over to Ghost's side of the window and gagged after seeing a dead body being covered with written white cloth, smeared red with blood. "Jesus, what the fuck is that." Ghost looks down on you, 'She tortures people with her heels but gags at a covered dead body...' he thought.

"Narcomantas." Alejandro shortly replied, "Cartel Cloths." Rodolfo translates. "Messages from El Sim Nombre, warnings, marking territory." You saw another narcomantas as they passed by, "Our streets are laced with death." Alejandro narrates.

"Whose El Sin Nombre?" Ghost looks at Alejandro from the rear mirror. "El Sin Nombre, The Nameless. leader of Las Almas Cartel." He replied while biting his lips, looking at the huge beautiful graffiti saying 'EL SIN NOMBRE'

"Where can we find him?" Soap tilts his head. "...or her?" You pursed your lips, poking the neck pillow. "You can't. No one knows who they are but they are everywhere." Alejandro said whilst Rodolfo nodded in agreement. "Is this person an individual?" You raised your eyebrow. "Perhaps, we still never know because they're everywhere." He shrugged.

"And that is a challenge. Los Vaqueros loves challenges!" Alejandro snickered and gazed at Ghost from the rear mirror. "With your mask, you'll fit in well here, Ghost." He finishes. but as he said that, you saw Soap doing the 'cut it out' hand gesture. which made you knit your eyebrow at the sudden awkward pause. you tilt your head to Ghost who now has his eyes down to his knee.

'Ghost's mask is a sensitive topic, no good.' you thought to yourself.

Rodolfo slowed the car down watching a road blockage just a few ahead of them. Alejandro seemed frowned at the sight but he gestured to take a turn, "Military checkpoint. Turn right, don't engage them." He ordered. "Yes sir." You watched a few civilians being stopped by the military.

"Why?" Soap looked out of his window, "Some troops are in the pocket of El Sin Nombre. Like I told you, they're everywhere." Alejandro explains again. "My resources is still finding clues and intels regarding of El Sin Nombre. let's hope they found something important."

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Settling into Alejandro's base, he said it was sectioned into multiple buildings to make it slightly more private. You walked towards the light spacious hallway that connects the kitchen and the meeting room. You saw your duffle bag already gently placed on top of your bed. "Finally, inner peace..." You mumbled before falling into the soft mattress. "Dior? This is Rodolfo. Colonel Alejandro wants us to regroup in the meeting room." He knocked on your door softly which made you irritatedly punch the bed. "Ay, coño." You mumbled while getting up again, "Coming!"

You got out of your room with an unpleasant mood, as Soap walked towards you with a small metal box in his hand. You were a bit puzzled about his gesture, "Could you brew this for Ghost? I think he had a car sick." He said in a concerned tone. You held back your laugh, "the lieutenant? Car sick? What is he, five?" You took the metal box and made your way to the kitchen with him.

"Aye, I used to get car sick too in my early 20s." Soap filled the kettle pot with tap water and placed it into the stove, "He's in his early 30s? I thought he joined the military earlier than all of us combined." You furiously tapped your foot to the floor. "Let's not be mean to him, poor guy went through a lot." He turned the stove in.

You scoffed and cackled at his statement because hell if he knew what Ghost did to you whilst he was deep asleep, he would had a stroke on the floor. "Soap, what do you think about him." You watched him lean to the counter next to you. "Ghost? well, he's serious all the time. You know it." He shrugged and playfully tapped his finger to the counter.

"I mean, I've been here for less than a week. people be 'Ghost is scary, Ghost is this, Ghost is that' and I wouldn't find him scary at all" You rub the back of your head. "He's goofy, trust me. Whenever we went to a bar, He would be there just to eat the peanuts." You tilt your head slowly to Soap and scoff in laughter. "What?" "You heard me right. I bought a bag of peanuts as a joke once and he ate them all in the base." He smiled at your reaction.

"You hate Graves, why" Soap looks down on you with a cheeky smile. "Thought I told you already." You fiddled your finger to Ghost's metal box of tea. "That was Shepherd," You parted your mouth into an 'Ooh'.

"He's American." You stated coldly.

"Dior, you're from Los Angeles."

the two of you paused for a few moments before letting out a muffled laughter. "Could you tell me a little about LA?" He leaned closer to you, "Well, It's twice more chaotic than New York. gamblers everywhere, drugs are illegally normalized, and so many kidnapping cases. It's wild crazy but I managed." You shrugged yourself, "I had a...colleague, once." Your voice faded a little lower. "She was detecting...some kind of illegal explosives transaction. It's in Chicago but one of the parties was in LA." Your gaze falls to the floor.

"...She was ambushed." You muttered but still loud enough for Soap to hear. "Could've saved her if only I was tall enough to climb a certain window. I was wearing flat combat boots that time, I haven't worn any heels to work." You weakly looked up at Soap who softened at your story.

"And since then I learned how to run, jump, and even kill people with my heels." Your eyes sharpen. "Was underestimated, but those people are six feet under now." You bit your lip and looked up at Soap, "Am I talking too much? I'm so sorry-" "Dior, it's okay." Soap rested his hand on your head, giving you a gentle pat.

"I'm sorry for your loss, must be...hard for you." He smiled at you softly. "I think doing those.. stuff in heels must be hurt. and you defeating me and the others back in that field showed enough that you are capable of being who you are right now. I think your...colleague would be proud of you, right now." Your eyes moisten a little at his comforting remark. you laughed it off softly at the comfortable moment he built for you.

He's right, no matter how the demotion has taken a chunk of your mental, you're still as perfect as you were back then. you should be proud of how far you've become. Losing or missing a piece along the way might hurt you, but one day you'll find a bigger brick to build yourself even better.

As you two were locking eye contact, out of a sudden you both screamed in terror when the bakelite top bead flung into the air from the overheated kettle pot, hitting the hanging lamp and dropping right in front of your foot. You jumped to the counter as Soap quickly turned the stove off preventing boiling water from splashing all over the stove.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

"And with that being said, does anybody have any question?" Alejandro turned his tablet off as Rodolfo turned the projector off and stood behind Alejandro. Soap shrugged whilst Ghost was just sitting in the corner and you were doodling random drawings in your notebook. "I think that's enough. All we had to do was wait for your intel, no?" You raised your eyebrow. "Correct, I think they should be back by tomorrow before sunrise." He sat on his seat, sipping coffee. There was a slight silence before you realized something.

"Soap do you remember when we tried to eavesdrop Price-" "Captain..." Soap sipped on his Gatorade. "...I mean, Captain Price." You bit your lip in regret, "I overheard missiles were from Russians." Alejandro raised his gaze at you. "Your point is?" Soap smiles at you, he likes it when you get into critical thinking. "...Ghobrani was talking with Russians when Ghost marked him off with the missile that Graves drove..?"

You created a staring contest between Rodolfo, Alejandro, Soap, and you. Alejandro re-opened his note and cleared his throat, "Ghost what do you know?" Everyone gazes at him wearing sunglasses and a cup of tea in his hand that you brewed for him earlier. "Is he...asleep?" You held your chest in concerned. "Nah... I'm pretty sure he's dead."

⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹

The night washes over the sky, your laptop clock shows '22:13'. you rolled over your bed with a slik light green robe to find a working comfort food. the good 'ol American mac n cheese. your mini mission is simple; sneak to the kitchen, use the microwave, leave. then you can continue to watch Scream Queens in your tab. And that's when it hit you. "This is the best idea I've ever had in my entire life!"

That's the worst idea you ever had in your entire life. You spat out the warm mac n cheese out of your mouth to the trash bin, wiping your lips with a tissue. it tastes unpleasantly weird. you figured that it tastes like that because it's been in your bag for nearly 3 days, it probably got soaked or expired. You washed your dishes after throwing away all the remaining mac n cheese.

"Cielita, why are you awake?" Alejandro walked passed you and rested his palms to the top of your head. "I uh, I'm sorry for using your kitchen without your permission. I craved something out of the sudden..." You looked up at him while turning off the sink. "Instead of asking for my permission for the cocina, could've ask me for food instead," He ripped out a napkin and took your hand. gently drying it from the water.

you watched his hand brushing against yours with the dry napkin as a barrier, he then toss it to the trash. "Let me show you a comfort food my mama used to cook." He smiled at you.

God, you're melting to his words. Hes the finest act-of-service man you could ever imagine God has created. You watched him going through his kitchen cupboard taking out a few ingredients.

olive oil, conchas, tomato sauce, parmesran and 2 jars that you're unsure of the content inside. "What's in this?" you pointed at it whilst he was heating up the pan. "The green one is jalapeño, exotic spices and his friends," He tapped the other jar with yellowish liquid inside. "This one is chicken broth with blackpepper, red pepper flakes, and dried oregano." he explains.

"I have my sopita salsas half-ready in the fridge for moments like this." He gave you a cheeky smile. You watched him closely. heating the oil into the pan, adding the shell pasta in, pouring a cup of water and waiting for the pasta to soften. "You wanna watch closer here, cielita?" He patted the empty kitchen counter. You pursed your lips into a thin smile and walked towards him.

You did what he said, sitting in the kitchen counter watching him cook. you could smell the jalapeño doing God's work into the pasta. you felt guilty that he heard your stomach growling.

After a few minutes in, he poured in the chicken broth and let your stir it. "Smells good doesn't it cariño?" He rested his hand to your thigh watching you taking a good sniff of the soup with the wooden spoon. "Yeah, it does." You put down the spoon and stir it gently.

"I think it's ready for the tomato sauce." He effortlessly opened the canned red sauce and began pouring it gently before continuing stir. When the soup formed, You took a smaller spoon and took a small amount of the soup, blowing it gently to cool off before tasting it. "...I think it needs garlic?" He raises his eyebrow before taking your spoon and licking it himself. Your face blushed fifty shades of red as he hummed to himself, "Must agree, I'll get the cloves."

After a few minutes of brewing, he decided to turn off the stove and let you taste it first. "Have a bite." He took smile pieces from the pan with a spoon, aiming it at you. Smiling in excitement, you leaned and blew the hot pasta from the spoon he held for you.

After chewing and shifting the pasta around your mouth for a good moment, you raised your eyebrow in surprise, "It's flavorful but in a good way, wow you're a good cook." He laughs at your compliment, "And a good cowboy." He quickly turned the stove off and shifted away to get the bowls.

You'd be lying if you say you're not flustered. He knew how to scoop your heart once in a while. "Come, have a seat." He dragged the chair for you.

He lit up a scented candle and lit it, "Is this some kind of a candle-lit dinner?" You smiled at him settling down to his seat across from you. "Now that you find it that way, then consider it as a yes." His sharp eyes soften every time he sees you.

You both ate the warm sopita in silence. It was a comfortable atmosphere, you two enjoyed each other's company. A few times whenever you took a bite, he could've sworn he saw a star being born in your orbs. the way you hummed and glinted a smile at his food, softened his heart.

"You like it, cielita?" He looked down at his bowl, "If I don't, I wouldn't be here. Honestly, I never expected someone like you to...cook. I thought you were the take-out kind of guy despite all the military stuff" You scooped up the pasta to your spoon again. "Well, no offense. I went through military too." He raised one eyebrow and chuckled.

"I aspire to be a good son for my mama. That is why I started to learn how to cook for her every time she's too sick to cook." God, something about this man is drawing you in. You should ask him what kind of hex he's using on you because it's damn well working. "Your mom must be proud of herself to have someone like you as her son," You smiled softly and picked up a spoonful of the food you both made.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance before realizing he hadn't prepared a drink. "Is there any preferred drink you'd like to have? Forgive me, I got carried away." He finished his food and got up. "Honestly, I don't mind anything." You ate the last few remains of the sopita in your bowl. "Wine?" He opened a fridge with multiple bottles that worth hundreds. "Red, would probably do..." You took your bowl and stood from the chair.

"Ay, no no no. You don't do this." He stops you while taking your bowl out of your hand. "Sit, princessa. let me serve you."

You are MELTING like an iced slushie under a hot summer in Florida. Watching his athletic figure swaying in the kitchen back and forth, his back muscles and bicep are wrapped nicely in a black collared shirt he is wearing with the sleeve rolled to his elbow. If he's giving you these gentleman treatments again, you're definitely folding.

Popping the bottle and pouring it to the glass, he places it down for you and one for him. You both clink the wine glass. After spinning it slowly and smelling the scent, you look at him with a glinting smile. "Chåteau Camou?" He raised his glass to you and sipped, "You know your drink."

"Well, I must." You laughed and shrugged it. He examined you for a few moments, giving a pause for a few minutes. You looked up at his eyes gazing deeply to you. his eyebrow is intimidating. at this point, it seemed like a staring contest, but you don't really mind. You like the way he looks, he's deadass a hot Mexican.

"Stop looking at me like that," You chuckled and leaned to the seat. "Like what?" He smirked and took another sip of his wine. "Like you want to have sex with me." You hid your smile by biting the tip of your thumb.

His smirk slowly turned into a cheeky smile, flashing you with his teeth. He laughed and rubbed his forehead, "Ride a cowboy to save a horse? how about you come sit here and we'll see where we going." He shifted his knee and tapped his thighs. You're fearless, You've got nothing to worry. It's not like he means his word anyway.

You got up from your seat and walked slowly towards him, watching his veiny hands slithering his knee up to his thigh. You bit your bottom lip and lend out your hand, he held it softly and pull you gently towards him. You sat in his lap as he places your hand to his chest.

"Eager, are we." He whispered as you leaned closer. You brushed your nose close to his cheek, breathing softly to his touch. you rammed your fingertips from his chest up to his neck, he tilts his head to you and stare. He has a brown dimming eye, the way his warm breath surfaced to your chest and neck sent electric down your spine. He grinned and placed his thumb on your chin.

There was a heavy tension between the concerning amount of space you two had. He wanted to lean closer but you kept on teasing him by dodging his lips away from you. He grunted before getting a hold of your jaw, "Stop moving, ⁸niñita."

"Make me, papi." That snapped something inside of him.

He gripped your ass, getting off the chair and carried you whilst you wrapped your legs around his waist. with no waiting, he bit your neck devouring every spot exposed. You whimpered at the pleasure hes giving whilst he still carried you with his other hand in the back of your head, stilling it so he could get a taste of you.

walking towards his presumably his room, he pushed open the door with one leg and locked it. He shifts his mouth and bites to your chest making you whine, gripping his broad shoulder like there's no tomorrow.

"You asked for it, cielita." He whispered to your ear, dropping you to his bed before kissing you passionately. you slithered your hand around his chest, up to his shoulder and bicep, feeling every single one of his body heat against yours.

nibbling your bottom lip furiously, he unbuttoned his shirt and left his chest exposed. Your abdomen and his brushing against one and another, stroking you dry but enough to make your panties damp. "Holy shit-" you pulled away from his kiss. "May I?" He tugged the ribbon that ties your body to the robe. "Only if you can make me cum." You pinched his cheek and he gave you a smug laugh.

"Bet." He pulled it off and witnessed a goddess in her lingerie, "Like what you're seeing?" You smirked at his parted lips. "The 141 has been keeping this treasure all to themself, ⁹no lo hacen?" He chuckled while tugging the vibrant color of your panties.

taking his time, Alejandro snucked his nose to your briefs, taking a deep breath to get ahold of your scent. you yelped when he slid his index into the entrance of your folds. "¹⁰huele tan bien, cielito." You raised your eyebrow and chuckled, "Nah, they don't...touch me. I mean Ghost did but not this far." you admitted. You saw his eyes rising from your thighs in surprise. "Then let me give you what Ghost didn't, no?"

He finally lifted the lace before devouring you down to his bed, flicking your clit and gripping your inner thighs defensively. You gasped softly at his moves and muffled groan. "Dios, ¹¹sabes tan dulce." He muttered beneath you.

Impatiently, he yanked your panties away and gruesomely polished your entrance. he stretched your folds with his finger, sucking you inside out while you tugged his hair holding back your moans.

His hitched breath brushed against your sensitive clit which made you feel a knot building up in your stomach. he pushed himself deeper as your release melted against his face.

"¹²Chica come so easily, hm?" He got up licking your remaining sweet sextillion-dollar fluid. "I bet you come easily too, papi." You smirked under him. His lips slowly pursed into a smug smirk, "¹³Ay coño, you don't know what you signed up for." He quickly unbuckled his belt, pulling it away from his pants before pushing both of your wrists down the mattress.

"What are you-" Your words were cut off when he flipped you over and tied your wrist down with his belt. "Let's see how far ¹⁴puedes ir." He slids his thumb to your entrance as you whined into the mattress. You could feel him taking off his pants but every time you tried to peek, he would grab you by the jaw and make you look front.

"No peeking, princesa. Let me.." 'SLAP' He spanked your entrance followed by your loud moan. arching your back enough, you could feel his tip trying to fit into your trench. "¹⁵Preparar, cielita." He pushed it in which made your ass slightly vibrated. "Fucking hell- It won't fit." you whimpered trying your best to keep your knees up.

"Really?" He smirked and pushed more of his length in, "Jesus- Please tell me tha' all- Oh Lord." You whimpered between your moan, feeling so stretched from the inside. "That was just half, ¹⁶hermosa." He pushed his length in again. "This is full."

You let out the loudest, softest moan you could ever let out. Alejandro was triumphant witnessing that. He kissed your shoulder and placed his hand on your lower stomach, circling it between. "You feel this bulge, ¹⁷cariño? you're tightening around me..." He pulled out half of his length and pushed it back slowly, grunting every few moments.

You rolled your eyes to the back of your head feeling high up in the sky, whilst he filled the void of your insides so slowly and rhythmic. "Faster, papi." His eyes widened. "Say again, ¹⁸belleza?" He stops with his whole length inside. "I said, Fas-"

He pulls out and slams himself into your cervix mercilessly. You had to gawk out a messy moan while feeling him holding back your tied wrist, bullying your insides wildly. The sound of wet skin slapping at each other filled the room, the way you felt ecstasy and a knot building inside you had gone dumbfoundedly filthy.

As he thrusts into you like a little fuck toy, you couldn't see shit. you were buried into the mattress deeply, feeling yourself overstimulated to the point where you couldn't tell if you had came or not. He fucks you so good you turned dumb at this point.

"¹⁹ven aqui, guapa." He flipped you over and pinned your wrist above your head. Now you're seeing the beautiful man above you, fucking you with your legs above his shoulders. His sweat forming around his forehead, the way he grunted and his ears turning red. you loved the way his abs and abdomen moved and smashed against you.

"This is what you longed for, cariño? this is what the ²⁰maravillo Ghost can't give you? let me show que hombres de verdad looked like."

He kissed your mouth while fucking you like a whore, squeezing your blowsy breast that peeked out of your bra. You let go of the sloppy kiss and moaned uncontrollably. "Ah, 'm gonna come."

"Then fucking come for me, mami." He whispered and bit your earlobe which made you feel tingles. He thrusted in you, slamming your insides a few times before you let out another loud lament as your juices came out. He pulled out and dunked his 7-inches to your stomach being proud his sword had weakened you, letting his thick vanilla ooze around your stomach and hips.

You breathed out heavily, feeling so much emotions penting up in your head and sex. He chuckled before leaning down on you to take his belt off your wrist. feeling freed, you closed your eyes and bit your lip. "Wow.", He places his forehead to your knee, planting soft little kisses around you before looking up at your gaze. "Wow?" He smiled.

You tilt your head to his bedside, looking at the digital clock that drew at 2.30 am. he noticed this and layed beside you, not forgetting to give you a peck on the lips and forehead. "Rest?" He spooned you from behind. "Rest." You smiled weakly.

"I'll wake you up in an hour and half so we have enough time to clean up, como suena eso, chica?" He presses his nose to the back of your hair and wraps his hands along your waist. "²¹si si..." Your head was too high in the clouds to translate any words outside English.

As the moonlight shines through his dark curtains, you and Alejandro were sound asleep. enjoying each other's company, one and another. Clearly unaware of someone hearing you moaning a little too loud.

some spanish translation 101໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

(forgive if I got some wrong)

~ Relax - Relajar

~ How does that sound - como suena eso

~ What real men - Que hombres de verdad

1. Oh God - Dios mio

2. Sweetie - Cielita

3. Sir - Señor

4. Thank You - Gracias

5. I'm scared of (him) Ghost - Tengo miedo de los fantasmas

6. Easy (calm down) - tranquilo

7. drug trafficker - Narcos

8. little girl - Niñita

9. dont they - no lo hacen

10. smells so good - huele tan bien

11. taste so sweet - sabes tan dulce

12. (beautiful) girl - chica

13. oh fuck - ay coño

14. (this) can go - puedes ir

15. prepare - preparan

16. beautiful - hermosa

17. dear - cariño

18. beauty - belleza

19. come here beautiful - ven aqui guapa

20. marvelous (masculine) - maravillo

21. yes yes - si si

[boatem-probler]

These Aliens Have Been Watching Too Much Anime in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / You Are Here!

It's been a while, huh? Yeah, I'm taking a summer class, and that started, so I've been a little busier than I was when I started doing this. This report is actually backlog, I wrote it up... I don't even know, like a month ago or something? So yeah, these are definitely gonna come out slower from now on.

In these episodes, the Chupacabra summons Cthulhu to find out the winning lottery numbers, Taurtis hits explosives with a gun, and the most useless aliens fail to invade Earth (not the aliens from last time, different ones).

This report contains mentions of: stalking, violence, guns, death, and splarging (i.e. sexual humor).

Previously on Tokyo Soul:

Sam: “You guys have problems, you know? I just wanna point that out. Everyone here, except for myself, clearly, has very serious mental problems.”

This Time...

Episode 33 – SHES BACK!

Dom and Jerry have gotten the house a new TV. It’s a motivational poster with a sign pointing to it that says “TV”.

Taurtis is still missing.

Jerry has one of the giant alien swords now, which he apparently got by strangling some random old guy.

Sam decides to wake Grian up by making out with him. Grian is distressed by this.

Sam and Grian open the front door to go to school and BAM! Taurtis with a giant gun!

It seems like Taurtis was captured by aliens, given a gun, and told that Sam and Grian had been replaced by aliens, or something like that. Correction from later: he stole the gun.

Regardless, they all head to school together. Grian and Taurtis share an umbrella.

Also, Sam got a letter in the mail from a “secret admirer” telling him they’ll be looking for him at school. Grian points out that Sam having admirers hasn’t tended to go well for him or the admirer.

Taurtis: “That’s why I don’t admire you. Too dangerous.”

Geode has stolen and is wearing Señor Loro’s Christmas sweater.

Invader is at school! She’s in town to see her uncle, who is apparently Dr. Nurse MD. He’s also “technically” not related to her.

Mr. Chupa has Igbar von Squid in a cage in the middle of the classroom. Mr. Chupa says he found some old books in a back room of the school and recreated a ritual from one of them.

Grian insists this is a very bad idea, while everyone pressures him to read out the ritual text.

Grian: “Are you not listening to me?” Taurtis: “We never listen to you.”

Grian reads out the ritual text. It’s basically a bunch of nonsense that’s obviously meant to sound more comedic than ominous.

Igbar starts moving around in the cage. His eyes are red now. Mr. Chupa picks a random student to go in the cage too. “Igbar” eats the student. Specifically “swallows him whole” according to Grian. Or “consumes his soul” according to Sam. Eyewitness accounts differ. Either way, Igbar is now Cthulhu.

Also, today I learned that Cthulhu is spelled with two H’s. Actually maybe I didn’t learn that, because it was autocorrect that told me to spell it that way and it’s been a bit unreliable. Whatever.

It turns out that Mr. Chupa summoned Cthulhu because he wants to know the winning lottery numbers.

Episode 34 – JERRY IS CRAZY!

Mr. Chupa allows the students to ask Cthulhu some questions. They’re pretty much entirely inconsequential. Taurtis wants to know Sam’s “true motives” for being friends with him and Grian, but Sam’s secrets, if there are any, are saved by the bell.

Dr. Nurse has started thinking about how valuable the elderly are after some “pranksters” killed a bunch of them at his hospital, so he has the class interview an old man who is very obviously an alien.

Sam, for some reason, has two of the “wire” textured head blocks from a few episodes ago in his locker, and they are in fact named “C4”. Grian is a bit horrified to learn that he recently had a bomb strapped to him.

Also, Mr. Chupa has been running around in the background for a while, as he has apparently lost Cthulhu.

I’m pretty sure whatever explosive these kids have isn’t C4, which means Taurtis definitely shouldn’t be smacking it with a gun. C4, as we all know, is a stable exp-

Grian gets shot in the leg again getting the bomb away from Taurtis.

Invader was apparently rummaging around in Sam’s closet, and found his old school uniform.

Geode is participating in gym class for some reason.

Jerry announces they will be playing Monster Tag, which is basically like sharks and minnows or zombie tag, and involves Jerry chasing everyone with his giant sword while wearing a monster mask.

Episode 35 – TERMINATOR!

Monster Tag turns out to be pretty mundane and not sinister, but we do get to hear Grian having a very good time being on the chasing team.

Geode and Dom are just playing Splatoon in Geode’s classroom. Also, the old guy from Dr. Nurse’s class is in the test tube in the back.

Geode tries to teach the class how to identify aliens, but he only knows one type of alien, so he can only conclude that the old man isn’t that type of alien.

As the bell rings, someone named Rowan Artifex types in the chat that they’re looking for Sam and Grian. Sam and Grian are confused and a little disturbed by this, because Rowan is dead.

Taurtis has been neutralized, Rowan says, which the boys figure is because the original, non-cloned Taurtis is in fact dead.

Also, Rowan is the Terminator now.

Also also, J the Star from the FUTURE is outside the school, he’s here to take the boys to the FUTURE in his FUTURE car. Unfortunately, he crashes the FUTURE car.

Also also also, there’s a giant spaceship hanging in the sky in the middle distance.

They run to the police station to get help from Okami.

The SWAT members try to hold Rowan off, but he is naturally unfazed by being riddled with bullets and just starts killing his way through.

FUTURE J the Star blows a hole in the police station wall with FUTURE TNT so they can all escape. FUTURE TNT looks a lot like a powder keg.

Okami drives them all away in the SWAT van.

ONE PUNCH MAN SPECIAL

Okami parks directly under the spaceship. This also happens to be right in front of the hospital, which Dr. Nurse is NOT happy about.

J the Star fucks off.

Okami explains that in order to defeat the Terminator, they’ll have to destroy the “source”, which is probably in the spaceship.

Grian: “I hate getting all SWATed up, I usually get shot.”

Taurtis has somehow changed into a One Punch Man cosplay instead of a SWAT uniform. He’s even shaved his head.

They head into the hospital to get up to the roof, now being chased by Rowan, but Sam decides to hang back and shoot at him for some reason, which means Rowan is able to shoot Grian a couple times.

They get in a helicopter on the roof and fly up to the spaceship. Okami tells them to destroy the “core”. Jerry stays on the helicopter, but he throws Taurtis his giant anime sword.

The insides of the ship are… Fleshy.

They come across some aliens standing around in front of a tube of lava labeled “Free Alien Repellant”. These aliens are not little green guys. They are Doraemon, the Pillsbury Doughboy, and someone named Jeice who I think is supposed to be from Dragon Ball Z. They are all wearing uniforms.

They attempt to defeat the humans, but they accidentally end up killing two of their own number with an off-screen buzzsaw in the process, and the humans quickly dispatch the third.

Grian is pretty sure these guys have nothing to do with the Terminator. He’s still up for killing them though.

There’s another Doughboy. He says he’ll give them a “splarging” if they let him live. They come across two other aliens “splarging”, which apparently involves one of them hitting the other one with a stick.

Guys I don’t know what the hell’s going on anymore. I would say it was probably just because this is a special but I’ve watched bits and pieces of the episodes after this and it all just turns into mush, guys. I am in miseryyyyyyyyy-

Anyway the boys get Doughboy 2 to lure the splarging aliens into a hallway so they can kill them.

Wait oh my god is that Joel Smallishbeans’s old Shrek skin. It’s not exactly the same but like, there’s definitely a resemblance. It might just be that they’re both supposed to be Shrek though.

Anyway there’s a room with a bunch of aliens in it and Grian shoots one while the leader guy is doing an Anime Villain Speech. Leader Guy starts charging up, but all that does is kill all the other aliens in the room. Leader Guy dies in one hit.

They get a different alien to show them where the core is, but this turns out to be a trick, and they’ve just been led directly to the actual leader, Boros. Boros pretty much just wants to fight one of them. Apparently it was foretold by prophecy. Sam and Grian volunteer Taurtis.

Boros wants to know his “terms”.

Taurtis: “How about, the first person to kill Sam wins.” Grian: “Ooh, I like that one!”

They just end up fighting to the death like normal though.

Grian decides that he’s “the prize”. He jokes that he’ll give Taurtis “a good splurging” if he wins. Then he takes it back when Taurtis and Boros take a break and just start chatting.

Also they’re on top of the spaceship now, so Grian runs over to where Okami’s helicopter is.

Taurtis and Boros decide to fistfight instead of swordfight, and Taurtis kills him in not one, but two punches, which is still pretty impressive.

Grian: “I changed my mind, Taurtis, I’m gonna splarg you real good tonight.”

Taurtis wants to keep the ship, but Sam put the rest of the “C4” in the control room, so they helicopter out of there before it blows up.

Doughboy is still with them. Grian tries to assign him the basement dungeon room, but Doughboy decides he likes Grian’s room better, and says Grian should have the dungeon. Sam and Taurtis insist Grian should go in the dungeon as a “sign of trust”. Grian reacts very strongly and violently to all of this, and he mentions Sam locking him in the dungeon as a reason why he feels so strongly about it. They’re not backing down though, so Grian runs upstairs and locks himself in Sam’s room instead and starts going through all his stuff.

Grian Trauma Count!

Deaths Witnessed:

1 Student

An Indeterminate But Large Number of SWAT Team Members

10-ish Aliens

Injuries Sustained:

Shot a good few times (there is NO way this kid's legs are normal after all this)

Traumatic Events:

More harassment from Sam

Peer pressured into performing an eldritch ritual which gets someone killed

In the process of this, his friends straight up tell him they never listen to him

Also he finds out he had explosives strapped to his head yesterday

More guns and being shot at, yippee

Teacher from his old school is brought back to life specifically to kill him and his friends

Whatever the hell is going on with these aliens should count I think

The way he reacts to Sam and Taurtis trying to pressure him into giving up his room is telling I think

Next Time... Minions.