#ScoMo

[batshit-auspol]

I just spent some time scrolling through this blog and am suffering from sever laughter. Thanks so much for collating the countries craziest moments. One of my favourites is when Scott Morrison was in Hawaii while the bushfires where burning.

December 2019: As Australia's east coast is engulfed in the worst bushfires in living memory, rumours begin to circulate that Australia's Prime Minister Scott Morrison may have secretly fucked off for a holiday in Hawaii.

Keep in mind, this is what is going down in Australia at the time:

The Hawaii rumour is initially written off as a fringe conspiracy, because surely nobody could be that fuckin tonedeaf, and it was quickly forgotten about... until an Australian man visiting Hawaii UPLOADED A SELFIE ON THE BEACH WITH THE PM THROWING A SHAKA.

At which point all hell broke loose.

Overnight the formerly popular "Scomo" became the most despised man in all of Australia. Think "firefighters shouting out of their windows to news cameras" level of despised.

After about two days of radio silence and pretending like he was still at home running the country, the Prime Minister's handlers finally dragged him onto call with an Australian radio station, where he pinky promised to return to Australia as fast as he could in an attempt to calm things down.

Unfortunately Scott's empathy consultant (a real job) then had to watch Scott pour more gasoline on the dumpster fire by uttering the now famous phrase "Look I don't hold a hose mate" when asked by the radio interviewer why the fucking fuck the fuckhead wasn't fucking in Australia doing his fucking job during a massive fucking crisis.

Testing just how much worse things could get, Scomo then proceeded to NOT rush back to Australia as promised, instead attempting to complete the rest of his holiday, a fact that was exposed when a passerby snapped a picture of him still lounging on the beach two days later.

Eventually, holiday complete, Morrison did reluctantly slink back to Australia, and in an attempt to calm things down, he decided to pay a visit to a small town that had been destroyed by the fires.

Which was a big mistake.

Scomo still had not registered how absolutely and totally he had screwed the poodle with his Hawaiian beach vacation, and he walks into what is now taught in PR classes as one of the greatest examples of "what not do do in a crisis" in all of history.

Scotty from Marketing, as he is now dubbed by the nation, spends a painfully cringe-inducing hour wandering around a burned down town with TV news cameras in tow, having to FORCE PEOPLE TO SHAKE HIS HAND in what is some of the most awkward footage you will ever see.

At this point it's probably also worth mentioning that, before becoming Prime Minister, Scott Morrison's biggest claim to fame in politics was being the guy that was so far up the coal lobby's arse that he literally brought coal into parliament and waved it around, claiming it doesn't hurt people.

So when a protest was organised it turned out to be one big national fuck you to the Prime Minister, the likes of which the world has never seen before or since.

Needless to say, at this point Scomo's career was dead in the water, but thanks to the rules brought in to stop Australian political parties from knifing their leader every two weeks (a popular Aussie passtime) Morrison basically couldn't get fired until after the next election.

And so, when the election rolled around in 2022, we decided that was an opportune time to travel over to Hawaii to erect this bad boy tribute to the Prime Minister, on the very beach where Scomo had sat and drank margaritas that one fateful week in December as Australia burned (thanks to @chaser for funding the ticket)

[dadsinsuits]

Scott Morrison

[m0ose-idiot]

The Chaser out there serving up during the coronation

[nando161mando]

Liberal party in turmoil after six former ministers quit parliament

via @chaser

[quackercracker]

[coolasakuhncumber]

Scomo: the complete works (abridged)

Aka Paul McDermott wrote a song with the same structure every time the former Prime Minister did it said something he disagreed with. There were over 120 of these songs and we heard about 20 of them last night.

Highlights included Scomo and Tame-oh, Scomo and Jenmo, Scomo and Porto, Scomo and Dutto, Scomo and Macro-(n)

Special shout out to the Engadine Scomo and Popo reference

[staryoshi06]

🦌he fucking resigned!!!!!!! 🦀🦀🦀🦀

[12-toads-in-a-trench-coat]

i fucking hate my group chat

i love them all, really but I HATE THEM JESUS CHRIST

[batshit-auspol]

completely useless information right here but i know a journalist who's interviewing scomo right now as we speak and he showed up half an hour late

One of the rare cases where never would have been better than late

[dadsinsuits]

Scott Morrison

[nando161mando]

I’m still bitter. Very bitter. He’ll last at his next rort job for a year. Then they’ll dump him too.

Scott Morrison says he feels ‘released from any bitterness’

[the-dyke-of-handsomeness]

Just remembered that time Scomo tackled that kid playing soccer lmao

[mizerzines]

Full Scomo, 2022

[chi3fkw33f]

It would be cheaper for the government to buy every homeless person a cheap apartment than it is to continue the status quo of underfunding homeless shelters and homelessness support programs that toss people around different shelters every few weeks for years until they either die of a drug overdose or accept homelessness as normal and sleep on the street for the rest of their lives while they slowly lose their sanity.

IT WOULD BE CHEAPER FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO END HOMELESSNESS THAN TO KEEP PEOPLE HOMELESS.

[quantomeno]

the thing that I really hate about the prospect of a return of the Coalition to government (other than the obvious things) is the thought of all the incompetent ministers we'll end up with.

Like the current shadow treasurer is Angus Taylor. The guy who has a habit of making stuff up and just appears so oblivious to how obvious these lies are. Or Dan Tehan. I'm sure he's probably a nice guy but he's a potential Foreign Affairs minister. Him. The gormless former trade minister. Like compare these guys with Jim Chalmers or Penny Wong and it's like night and day. And that's not even mentioning the National Party members that'll be given cabinet roles.

The Liberals' nine years of government was riddled with poorly-planned decisions, government mismanagement, negligence, waste, misappropriation of public funds and transparent cruelty. (see Robodebt, Sports Rorts, the NBN...)

And that was when they had decent (or at least not like totally incompetent) MPs still. I mean Julie Bishop's gone, Christopher Pyne's gone, Turnbull got knifed, Simon Birmingham is retiring, Frydenberg lost his seat to an independent, Marise Payne retired, etc etc. The moderate wing has been hollowed out. I think there's only like two Liberal MPs I have any respect for, one being Bridget Archer but she'll never be given a cabinet role because she's too principled. Heck, the reason Dutton is leader at all is because there's barely anyone else left and the moderate wing lost the numbers to oppose him like they did all the other times he tried to usurp the leadership.

The media likes to paint elections in a presidential style, but the PM has much less importance than that suggests. Albanese is a mediocre PM, but the Labor party MPs at least have the capacity to run a government.

Do I love the current government? No. But it's head and shoulders above the squandered years under the Abbott-Turnbull-Morrison governments.

[ehlnofay]

all love and joy to all my darling american internet friends and mutuals etc etc but if I ever have to learn another thing about us news ever again I think I'm going to blow something up