m0ose-idiot

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"... bought... copper... from... this... shady fucker... bad quality... zero stars... "

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I love Mando’s vibe. Imagine some guy rolling up to your shop in a beat up honda civic. He steps out wearing an armani suit. He opens his wallet and offers you two dollars to fix his car.

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My conduct this year landed me on Santa Claus's fabled and controversial "Kill-at-all-Costs" List. Turns out the reason the big man and his people don't exercise that option more often is that they really aren't good at following through on it. Well outside their core competency. He's delegated to the elves, and they've got this ingrained assembly-line mindset that doesn't translate at all to the adaptable and fluid mindset needed for siege breaking. They just haven't adjusted their playbook at all from when they're doing rote deliveries. Armed Elves have been rappelling down my chimney one at a time into the roaring fire I've kept going nonstop for the last week. They haven't even thought to try my front door yet. Whole house smells like peppermint, which it turns out is what burnt elf meat smells like. Thought I was being super clever putting cyanide-laced almond milk out with the cookies as a last line of defense, but none of them have made it even the scant few feet to the side table where that's sitting. At the rate things are going the real danger is that I'm gonna forget what I did with that and accidentally drink it myself while I'm watching the show

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Oh that social faux pas you committed? Nobody remembered that. Nobody remembered how you stuttered or went off topic or said something embarrassing. Well, nobody except the sorcerer who saw you do it. Yeah, he saw it. He cursed you to remembered to forever too. Yeah that’s the only reason why you still think about it. Kill the sorcerer to win.

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Standing in a checkout line, when an older man asks me about my Goncharov t-shirt. I say "It's a movie, " when the person behind me chimes in, "Oh, yes, Scorsese."

The original gentleman goes on to tell me about the author Goncharov, his favorite of his novels, and a famous character from one of the novels. The three of us discuss whether the main character in the movie is intentionally named after the author, referencing that character, or whether it just sounded good to the film maker. We discuss how steeped the movie is in symbology.

Two of us are having a very different conversation than the third.

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i don’t even get what’s wrong with this gif

i mean she pours the soda perfectly why do they all shit their pants

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See, our first mistake was trying to have a civilization in northern Europe between October and February. The darkest three months of the year should be for staying home under the blankets, midwinter festivals, and getting blind drunk when the sun goes down at 4 pm like the bog gods intended.

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“IT’S A SWORD, IT’S NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.” My favourite scene from The Hogfather. ___ See how this comic was made here.

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💚🐸💚

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Gorgeous Georgians.

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I'm firmly in the "there's nothing supernatural in the woods in Yellowjackets, the team is just trying to justify all the horrible things they did as traumatized children", but also...wouldn't it be funny if there was some spooky supernatural force in the woods, but it didn't actually do anything? Like, it was going to, but then it saw the girls descending into madness and cannibalism all on their own and was just like "okay, you guys are clearly going through some stuff, so I'm just...gonna go."

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The Origin of dalter Walter andalter finally explained

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clown wars

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Day 21

Just a few days until christmas and it still hasn't burned.

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Kitty with Kitty’s Santa