#SUPPORTING MY MOM AND NIECE AND NOW MY BROTHER HAD TO MOVE BACK IN

[did-you-fall-for-a-shooting-star]

In what world is it considered okay to go and complain to someone about how much you miss a co-worker that died, MONTHS ago, when you werent too too extremely close. When the person you are complaining to about how you still struggle to do your job, had a really bad week this week missing him, etc. IS HIS CHILD??

Like Im sorry, I didnt realize I was supposed to be consoling YOU.

And to top it all off, HE WANTS TO HAVE AN EMPTY CHAIR AT THE DJ TABLE FOR HIS WEDDING TO HONOR MY DAD. Like look bro, Im sorry that he cant be at your wedding as your bestie or DJ. But ya know. I’m not gonna have him at my wedding either to WALK ME DOWN THE AILSE. SO MAYBE FUCK OFF.

[thewritingofspencerrose]

Mamma Masterlist

Two Years Later

December 2022

"Eleanor Mae!" I find myself calling out, her chubby little legs carrying her faster than I expected through the exiting crowd of Rogers Arena. "Ellie!" I call again, my nerves spiking when her dark mop of hair disappears from my vision.

"Mom! Incoming!" Jack Hughes' calls to his mother, the Hughes family having flown in on mutual breaks to support Quinn, getting to watch his team win.

What Ellen hadn't known, was what Jack was referring to until a child crashed into her legs, Jim placing a hand on his wife's back to stable her.

"Oh! Well aren't you adorable," The mother coos, getting down onto her knees to be at the child's height as the little one looks over the boys, her dark hair falling in front of her familiar green eyes. "What's your name sweetie?"

"Eleanor Mae! Ellie!" A woman's voice can be heard, a panic to it that the Hughes parents recognize themselves. A panic you only have over a child.

"Did you run away from your mommy?" Ellen asks, the girl giggling with a nod. "What's your name?" She tries once more, now that the girl seems focused enough to respond.

"Ellie."

"I'll flag down the mother," Luke offers, being the tallest of the family while he waves in the direction of the woman's still panicked voice.

"How old are you Ellie?"

"Almost 2!"

"Eleanor, thank God," I want to cry, seeing her little body thanks to the waving hand, pulling her into my arms, my head ducked into her Hughes jersey.

The head of blonde in front of them is ever familiar, just as the girls eyes were, but no one had any connections until they saw the back of the little girls jersey.

Hughes 43.

Quinn, that's who's eyes they were reminded of.

"Holy shit," A voice, scarily familiar to my ears, mumbles from above me, my arms scooping Ellie up as I move to thank the people who found her.

Only to meet with the faces of my worst nightmare.

"Ruthie?" Luke is the one the question, eyes showing all the hurt that my heart feels.

"Hi Moose," I greet meekly, looking over the family. Jim and Ellen somehow managed to never age a day, while the boys seem like 2 years were really 10. Turning to Jack, I can't help but smile. "I saw you got drafted to the Devils, I'm really proud of you."

"Thanks Rue," He thanks, smiling himself, before his eyes move to Ellie, her babbles catching his attention. "And who is this cutie?" He questions, coming up and taking her hand, giving it a kiss and making her giggle.

"Uh," How do I tell Quinn's family that this is their niece and granddaughter? "This is Eleanor, although I really just call her Ellie."

"Hi Ellie," Luke is the one to greet, coming up to Jack and I with a little wave. "She said she was almost two?"

Of course she did. "I- I'm not exactly sure how to tell you all this," I explain quietly. Not noticing a brunette Canucks player approaching behind me, only thinking he is approaching his family and a fan. "Eleanor is my daughter, but she is also Quinn's. I found out I was pregnant the day he broke up with me," I explain. "I uh, based her name off of yours Ellen."

She sobs. The woman who I grew up having as a rock in my life starts sobbing, her arms being thrown around Ellie and myself. "I knew it as soon as I saw her."

"You knew she was pregnant?" Quinn's voice rings from behind me, making my entire body tense. He rounds me now, standing by his brothers as he gets a look of my daughter. Our daughter. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I had the pink onesie and the sonogram photos in my pocket to tell you when I walked out your door for the last time," is all I can think to answer. "I had a whole plan in my head, how I was going to tell you, how it was going to be a lot to handle, especially with hockey and school. And then you broke up with me."

"I broke up with you to make things less complicated!" His voice raises, making Ellie cover her ears with her hands.

"Quinn," I can't help but whisper. "Nothings more complicated than finishing college with a baby, I-"

"Momma," Ellie interrupts my rambling, "Is daddy?" She asks, pointing at Quinn, the tense of his shoulders releasing as he looks over her.

His hair, his eyes, my face.

"She knows me?"

"I wanted nothing more than you to be in her life. To be in our lives," I answer him, turning to my girl. "Yes baby, this is daddy."

"And I'm Uncle Jack!" Jack exclaims, clearly ignoring the magnitude of this entire conversation, something Jim seems to notice as he reaches for his middle child's shoulder, although Quinn shakes his head, watching with the smallest smile.

"Hey, you can't introduce yourself first, you'll be her favorite just based on that, and I need to be her favorite!" Luke complains, shoving up to where Ellie has hidden her head in the crook of my neck, her cheeks bright pink. "I'm Uncle Luke, and I'll be your favorite."

"I like Daddy," Is her response, still not peaking out, but based on Quinn's smile, he definitely heard her.

"Is that so?" Quinn asks, handing his equipment to father, looking hesitantly to me, silently asking if he can take her from my hip. I nod, him reaching over and her sliding into his arms without a second thought.

"She's always loved her Daddy," I explain, smiling at the interaction I've been waiting to see since I found out we'd be having a little us. "I've told her all about you all since she was little, stories of the lake house, school, Q's draft," I list, Ellen moving around the boys and wrapping me in a side hug.

"I can't wait to learn who she is," She mumbles, just to me.

"You said you knew... how?"

But she just gives me a mother's smile, all knowing. "I just knew. Just like I knew that you two would find your ways back to each other."

[fearlessdevil17]

Disclaimer:

My Pokemon OC Lex, and Lex from Curse in Magic are NOT the same person!! They share the same name, but have completely different personalities!!!

I haven't thought about my Pokemon OC's for while, mainly because i never had a proper story to tell. The pieces were everywhere and nothing made sense. It wasn't till rewatching bits of the Pokemon Anime is when i started to put things together. And although the games and the anime have different stories, I've decided to combine the element's, making slight changes and all that. It mostly focuses on the anime story with some of the games story added to it, but once Lex and Bierce move to Paldea, it's completely focused on Scarlet/Violet entirely.

Hope that clarifies everything :)

Now allow me introduce my OC's:

Lex:

A quiet 14 yr old with a vibrant & compassionate spirit. Due to her mistreatment when orphaned, She mostly prefers the company of Pokemon and purposely isolates herself from people, with her Aunt being the only person she talks to. She was eventually offered to be an apprentice by Prof. Sycamore himself upon seeing that she had potential to be a Pokemon Trainer, despite her saying that she doesn't want to be. After a fateful encounter with Ash Ketchum, she starts to slowly open up to people, no longer isolate, and is somewhat able to strike up normal conversations. Despite her anxiety around others still being relevant, her new passions are what keep her from turning back. Now she starts her newly found journey through the Paldea Region, as something she thought she never would be: A Pokemon Trainer.

Bierce:

Lex's Aunt and Legal Guardian. After the death's of her sister and brother-in-law, she took in their Pokemon and became their new trainer, but was denied custody of Lex due to her being believed as a "dangerous wildcard". Not wanting to lose another family member, she spent everyday proving to be a responsible parent figure, even costing her her beloved careers. After moving to Kalos, she realized that she wasn't cut out to be a mom, but thanks to some friendly advice by Augustine, she took things slow with Lex and taught her many important morals while bonding with her, even teaching her Houndoom to be a type of service Pokemon. After Lex's adventure's, Bierce saw the young girl's many change's, and she couldn't be more proud of who she want's be, supporting her Niece every step of the way.

Hope my descriptions of them are good <3

Now here are some bonus doodles + Team Members:

Very excited to share this info on my Pokemon OC's, i'm so happy that i'm able to share them finally. There is a lot more backstory lore about them too, but that's for later, right now i'm just happy i'm finally able to shed some light on them. Because playing through Violet as my OC for the first time was quite the experience :D

[intothetlkverse]

Decided to challenge myself by drawing every single TLK character out there, up until this point in time, and post it here. You can see the finished project on my main account, though I figured to post it on my tumblr just show I could proudly show off my work and a few of my head canons.

Here are all the hornbills across TLK:

Starting off is the OG 'red-billed' hornbill, majordomo for Mufasa and Simba's reign, the king's left-wing bird, Zazu(answer-Igbo) and nieces and nephews, Binti, Mwana, and Zinga. Binti(daughter) originally comes from the January 1996 draft of TLK2 and is meant to be Zazu's girlfriend in this, however I hold the idea that Zazu is a "I'm married to my job" guy, though he is slowly getting into spending time with Timon's mom as he begins to consider retirement. Binti here is Zazu's niece though Babazu, and while she gets along with her uncle, she's too much of a free-spirit to be bogged down by such a hefty position like king's left hand man. Jicho and her brother Mwana will be a more suitable successors. Mwana's(son) is more diligent, knowledgeable, and calm unlike his sister, and also took an immediate liking to his uncle and expressed an interest in the tasks associated with being a majordomo, so Zazu agreed to have him apprentice under him as a future scout. He doesn't belong to TLK media and is my character, but I figured I'd add him and Zazu's father just to fil, in the family tree. Lastly we have Zinga, Zinga/Uzinga(honey), Zazu's niece and these two's cousins from from "The Bird-Sitters". Uzinga is very mischievous and daring, picking that from her stepmom and occasionally making it difficult for others to talk/control her, but she's very sweet and enthusiastic, able to endear herself to others quickly, and is best friends with her cousin and Babazu's daughter Binti.

Next up are Zazu's siblings, Babazu(father-to) and older sister Nazu(back-Igbo), mentioned in the phrase "There's one in every family, sire. Two in mine, actually", though apparently they were meant to be the names of the deleted tickbirds on Herr Rhino who egged him on as he chased Simba and Baasho. For the longest time they weren't speaking with Zazu, mostly since he originally didn't decide to try to be the next majordomo while they both were attempting to learn from their mother, the previous majordomo of Ahadi/Uru's reign, though Zazu just happened to help Mufasa out with finding and helping out his future wife Sarabi and thus scored the position. The two eventually moved out and it wouldn't be until a few seasons later, when they had both started families and Zazu was well established as Mufasa's majordomo that they began to reconnect, trying to rebuild the strained relationship. The statement Zazu says about them to Mufasa is in reference to how the two purposefully missed out his announcement and introduction ceremony to the Pridelands out of envy, something both of them regret now. Beside Nazu is her wife Uju(honey), who was Zazu's girlfriend from "Heartbreaker Zazu". They did use to date, though between his demanding job and their opposite personalities(Zazu being more strict and rule-abiding while Uju being more free-spirited and daring), the two amicably broke up. She would eventually get together with Zazu's sister Nazu and together they had Zinga together.

Next up are Zazu and his siblings' parents, Jafari(creek) and Zuzu/Uzuzu(nonsense). Zuzu was Ahadi's majordomo from "A Tale of Two Brothers", and Zazu's predecessor. Jafari is my own character, though I figured to add him in just to ensure consistency with the family. He is the kind, supportive, and emotional parent compared to his strict, overbearing ex-wife. He's the more popular grandparent, getting involved in both his kids and grandchicks lives and being there to  be the supportive dad. As for Zuzu, she's spent her entire life being the ideal hornbill majordomo. She's built up a reputation of being reliable, knowledgeable, and an involved majordomo, which is to say that she is a busybody, gossip, and often snobbish. She was insistent on having a legacy of majordomos within the pride, so she really pushed for her chicks to follow in her wingbeats, causing a wedge to form between them that only increased when Zazu proved himself to be the next candidate for the role, and so she devoted most of her time and energy into grooming him into being the next majordomo. While Zazu can say he enjoys his work, his mother's overbearing, snobbish, and insensitive teaching methods formed a rift between them, and finally, after mouthing off a few too many times about the new king Mufasa, Zazu finally tore her a new one and demanded she leave him alone. Infuriated and humiliated, she did. Zuzu returned back to stay with Jafari in the time being. Jafari had divorced her during the early part of Mufasa's reign after seeing how her actions had turned their chicks against them and moved with his kids to a neighboring territory, though being the gracious, kind soul he was, allowed her to stay close by, though their kids keep her on a leash when it comes to interacting with her grandchicks. At the moment, she's seen as the crabby old lady whom her kids keep a close eye on to ensure she isn't trying to stir up unhealthy competition or unhealthy goals in.

Next up we have Kigali(watch-Igbo), a Southern yellow-billed hornbill from Operation Pridelands, one of Zazu's scouts and closest childhood friend. Kigali spent most of his life exploring and experiencing the world, so when Zazu reunited with him after his release from Scar's tyrannical rule, he entrusted Kigali with help trying to find and bring back the the herds and animals which had left to return back to the Pridelands with the message that there was a new king. Kigali is friendly, wise, and very knowledgeable, though he also has a quick wit and tendency to tease. He and Zazu often will greet each other with snarky, friendly insults, though they are all in the spirit of fun. He also has similar British accent. He also is the father of several chicks, to which Zazu plays uncle for them too.

Beside him is my take on TLK 2019/Broadway Zazu, so meet Uzaz(answer). A red-billed hornbill/Von der Decken's hornbill hybrid majordomo for the Zinari Pride of my "TLK2 but slightly to the left" project. Uzaz is snooty, condescending, and prideful, though he is able to get the job done. He does have a rivalry with the neighboring pride's majordomo, a malachite kingfisher named Zuza, though over time they're relationship has gone from rivals to 'rivals', but with a softer edge'. The two constantly make jabs and pecks at each other, critiquing the other's style, methods, appearance, likes/dislikes, choice of hangout place, choice of best romantic areas, what date is their first meeting anniversary... yeah the two get married in the end.

Lastly are Kigali's many, many chicks from "Greedy Is As Greedy Does". Sort a Billy Goats Gruff, but with hyenas and hornbills, the our hyena trio of Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed find little Ibo/Ibhoko(goat-Zulu) by his lonesome and plan to eat him, but he namedrops his bigger sister Sibo/Sibuko(mirror-Zulu), and the hyenas agree to 'help him find' his sister. When they do, Sibo mentions their big sister, Kibo, prompting the hyenas to go and find her, and the two eventually lead the hyenas to their flock and massive family, whereupon, seeing the multitude of hornbills, promptly drop the two chicks off and flee for their lives. Ibhoko and Sibuko are the youngest and last chicks of the two, though the Kigali and his wife Gibo/Gimbaya(princess-African) have seven lovely chicks, composed of six older daughters and the youngest their son. From oldest to youngest, left to right, we have Zibo/Ziba(gorgeous-Arabic), Hibo/Ihubo(hymm-Zulu), Mibo/Omi(water-Yoruba), Kibo/Kibra(jungle-Arabic), Dibo/Idibo(vote-Yoruba), Sibo,Sibuko, and Ibo/Ibhoko. Their mother started this tradition of naming her chicks and give them nicknames of 'letter' + -'ibo'. Each one of their chicks are are beautiful as their mother and as strong as their father, or vice versa as their mother would say. I used the wiki with the comic for reference for the names, though aside from Ibo and Sibo none of them have any identifying features, so I kinda had to use the other hornbills in the background and go off from there and my design for Kigali. Also the wiki does mention several names for Ibo/Sibo's sisters that aren't in the comic itself, which I'm gonna assume is an error, though I decided just to go with both the names mentioned on the wiki and said in the comic. Gibo, for example, was supposed to be a sister, but is only mentioned in the wiki and not in the comic, so I decided just to add her in and make her Kigali's mate and the mother of the seven. They do go by the nicknames as a family tradition, though mostly its used by Kigali.

[highwaytothedangerzone502]

Foxtrot Alpha Alpha - Chapter 25

Pairing: Hangman x Female OC

Word Count: 1859

Warnings: Talk of death

Summary: Hangman learned his lesson a long time ago to never show his true feelings when someone's words or actions hurt him. To do so showed weakness that could be exploited, and Seresin men couldn't show weakness. Of course, there was an exception to every rule, and Jake's always came in the form of women, three in particular: his mom, Juliette Kazansky, and the girl whose name he could no longer bring himself to speak. She was the girl that got away; she was his biggest 'what if' and his biggest regret; she would forever be the ghost that haunted his dreams. Jake believed that's where she'd stay, for he would surely never see her again after what he did.

Or so he thought.

Notes: This is the sequel to India Lima Yankee; I'm using the same callsign for the Female OC as in Ghost Story because I just really like it, but they are different characters; chapters in italics are flashbacks.

Also sorry for the delay in posting this. I've been trying to update other stories, and I'm in the middle of moving, so updates might be spotty for a bit :(

Chapter Songs: 'Tis the Damn Season Speakers Bleachers & Preachers

****

Hangman

Charlotte Blackwood had aged gracefully, but the fine lines of her wrinkles did not detract from her beauty, nor did she act like she'd gotten older. Despite her grief, Charlie greeted Hangman with a big smile and an even bigger hug.

"It's so nice to see you," she said, pulling away. "I wish I was getting to see you under happier circumstances." 

"Me too, ma'am," Jake replied. "Whatever y'all need from me, I'm here." 

Charlie glanced over her shoulder at her daughters, who were still hugging each other. "You supporting Ghost is all I need. Thank you for coming with her." 

"Of course. I wanted to be for you, too. You and Nathan treated me more like a son than my own dad ever did, especially after my mom died." Hangman rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly embarrassed. "I'll, uh, I'll get Ghost's suitcase to her room, and then I'll let y'all be." 

Charlie's brow furrowed. "Where are you going?" 

"I need to find a hotel and-" 

"Aren't you staying with us?" 

"I didn't want to assume-" 

Charlie shook her head. "No, no, you're not staying at a hotel. Your room is all ready for you."

Hangman thought back to the guest room he'd crashed in for the last few weeks he'd had in Texas before heading to the Naval boot camp with Ghost. He'd made that place his temporary home after his mom's death and his father's harsh words and instruction not to return home for the rest of the year. It was the same room that Hangman used when he returned for Christmas and summer "break," both that year and the subsequent years. The Blackwoods had all but adopted him, and those had been some of the happiest years of his life. 

"Thank you, ma'am," he managed to say, surprisingly overcome with nostalgia. Grabbing his and Ghost's suitcases, he lugged them inside and upstairs to their respective rooms. Hangman chose to stay in his and unpack to allow the Blackwood women to catch up and privately mourn over the loss of Nathan. He turned on some quiet country music and slowly started taking things from his suitcase and putting them into the dresser drawers. To his surprise, some of his old clothes remained in there. They would hardly fit him now, but the sight of it still warmed his heart. Charlie had held onto them even after all this time...

Once he finished unpacking, he lay on top of the bed covers and scrolled through his contacts, hovering over his oldest brother's number. Did he dare call him and let Matt know he was in Texas? Hardly five minutes away? That he'd willingly come for a girl who hadn't spoken to him in years but hadn't had the guts to visit his brother despite Matt's obvious attempts to repair their fractured relationship? What about his niece, Sophie? An innocent caught in the crossfire of Jake's complicated feelings about his family?

"There you are," Ghost said softly from his doorway. "You okay?"

Hangman sat up. "Yeah, I'm good," he lied, figuring Ghost had enough on her mind. She didn't need to hear his problems. "How are you holding up?"

"I don't know. Part of me is fully aware he's not coming back, but the other part, it's like the reality hasn't set in. I walked past his office earlier and expected to see him sitting there working, but it was empty."

"It takes a while to come to terms with it," Hangman said empathetically, standing up and shoving his phone and hands into his jeans pockets. "You always saw him working in his office whenever you were home, so that habitual motion of looking into his office is still there even if he's not, so you're still going to react to it."

"Did you-"

"Do the same? Yeah. I remember texting my mom a few times out of habit with some nonsense thing that I thought was a big accomplishment. I'd only realize she wouldn't respond after I hit send."

"When did you stop?"

"It took a couple of months. Matt used to do the same, apparently."

"Speaking of Matt, did you tell him you're here?"

Either Ghost realized that's what Hangman had been contemplating in bed when she walked in, or she had uncanny timing with her question. Regardless, his answer was the same. "No. I'm here to support you, not navigate my own family drama."

"Don't stop yourself from seeing him on my account if you want to. If you do choose to see Matt, I'll support you, too."

"But you're grieving-"

"You came here for me. Let me be there for you when you need it. That's what friends do, Jake, no matter the circumstances."

The corner of his lip tugged upward. "Forever?"

"And always," Ghost responded without skipping a beat. "I'll even go with you to see him if you want."

"No, no, that's too much."

"As much as buying my plane ticket to come down here?"

Shit. Sheepishly, he asked, "How long have you known?"

"Figured it out right before I came up to find you for dinner. I checked my account balance to see what damage the flight had done to it and saw nothing," Ghost said as she closed the distance between them. She reached up and hugged him tightly, and Hangman could've sworn she melted into him when his arms snaked around her waist. With tears in her voice, she whispered, "Thank you, Jake. That was too much but very, very much appreciated."

"You had enough going on; I thought I could take something off your shoulders by paying for it. After all-" Hangman pulled away just enough to look at her, but kept his hands on her waist- "burdens aren't meant to be carried alone."

Ghost chuckled softly. "Throwing my saying back in my face, I see."

"You're good at coming up with catchy ones." They smiled at each other, and he watched Ghost's eyes flick briefly down to his lips. She opened her mouth and-

"Annalise? Where are you?" Jackie's nearby voice caused them to jump apart hastily lest they be caught in a questionable embrace. Ghost strode into the hallway with Hangman on her heels. Jackie spotted them when she exited her sister's room. "What do you two want for dinner?"

"Why don't I pick something up?" Hangman offered, moving toward the stairway. The girls followed. "That way, none of you have to cook."

"You've had a long day of traveling. We can order in and-" The ringing doorbell cut Jackie off. The group shared bewildered looks, wondering who would be here since none of them had been expecting company. Hangman gathered his wits first and moved forward, answering the door. A familiar man and little girl stood with a casserole dish in hand. The two men blinked in shock at each other. With no small amount of disbelief, Hangman managed to say, "Matt?"

"Jake?" his brother responded in equal confusion.

The little girl in Matt's arms gasped and excitedly asked, "Jake? Like Uncle Jake?!"

"And you must be Sophie," Ghost said, coming to stand beside Hangman with a gentle smile on her face, saving both men from the awkward silence settling between them. She knelt in front of the girl and added, "Your Uncle Jake has told me so much about you!"

Sophie's eyes lit up, causing Hangman's heart to sink. He had told Ghost nothing about his niece except her name, but the idea of him- a man she had never met- talking about her to other people clearly meant the world to Sophie. "Really? Like what?"

"Well, let's see, he said you like horses and that you've just started learning how to ride. You also really love music and are trying to learn the guitar."

"Yeah! I'm not good at the guitar, though. I'm better at the horse riding," Sophie admitted bashfully while Hangman stared at Ghost in a stupor, wondering how the hell she'd known more about Sophie than he did.

"If you're anything like your uncle, you'll get there in no time." 

"I hope so!" Sophie tilted her head. "Who are you? Are you Uncle Jake's girlfriend?"

"I'm Annalise. I'm a pilot like your uncle." Ghost straightened and turned her attention to Matt. "How are you doing?"

"Uh, good, good," he replied, regaining his composure. "When did y'all get in?"

"About an hour and a half ago. It was a last-minute trip due to the circumstances."

"I see, I see. Well, uh, we heard about your dad and wanted to bring you a casserole for dinner. We're so sorry for your loss. Melissa sends her condolences as well. She has a cold; otherwise, she would be here, too."

Jackie stepped forward and took the dish from him. "Thank you, that's very kind of you. You truly had impeccable timing with this. We were just trying to figure out what we were going to do for dinner. And we hope Melissa feels better!"

Matt offered her a small smile, but his gaze continued to revert to Hangman. "Thank you. I'm glad we could be of help. If y'all need anything else, please let us know. Annalise, Jackie, good to see you. Jake, we'll talk soon?"

Hangman nodded, unable to find his voice. He was mortified his brother found out about him being here like this.

"Daddy, I don't want to leave yet!" Sophie protested, grabbing her dad's hand. "Can we please stay?"

Matt picked her up and said, "Not tonight, sweetheart. The Blackwoods and your Uncle Jake are going through a tough time right now because they lost someone very important to them. Another time, okay?"

Hangman opened his mouth to invite them in, but then he remembered this wasn't his house, and the decision ultimately lay with Ghost and her family. He looked down at Annalise, and a mutual understanding passed between them.

"Actually, we would love to have the company," Ghost said kindly. "It'll be a nice distraction, and I don't think any of us can say no to Sophie's plea to hang out with her uncle. Y'all are more than welcome to have dinner with us."

"Please, Daddy?" Sophie begged, clasping her hands in prayer in front of his face. "Please, please, please?"

Matt sighed in defeat. "All right. I'll call Mommy and let her know we'll be late coming home."

Sophie cheered and reached out eagerly for Hangman. He hesitated only a fraction of a second before taking her out of her dad's arms and holding her himself. Grinning at her, Hangman said, "It's an honor to finally meet you, Sophie."

She threw her tiny arms around his neck. "I'm so happy to meet you!"

"I'll be in shortly. Just going to call Melissa and let her know we'll be home late," Matt informed, taking out his cell phone. Hangman nodded but said nothing, choosing to enter the kitchen with Sophie to get away from his older brother because they would be talking tonight, whether Hangman wanted to or not, and the more he looked at Matt, the more the reality settled in, and it terrified him.

****

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[purplesimmer455]

Back at Cam's house the next morning (the original house glitched* and kept trying to be a retail lot, so I had to sell it and put down another house), her auntie Iseul came over to visit, the same auntie who had given Cam her old leather jacket that Cam loves and wears a bunch. Iseul hugged her niece and asked her how she was. "Good." Cam said, smiling. "Does that goofy smile have anything to do with that girl you’re seeing, Piper?" Iseul teased. "Auntie Is!" Cam groaned playfully as Iseul laughed. "Okay, yeah." She admitted a second later. "I'm glad she makes you happy, Cammy." Iseul said, smiling at her niece.

"So, what's new with you?" Cam asked. "Well, I stayed in Selvadorada for a couple weeks, explored the jungle with some friends and went to some local pubs. Then I met up with my friend Steven in Windenburg and we partied and did some sightseeing." Cam grinned. "You're always up to some random fun thing." She said. “I know, it’s hard being so glamorous.” Iseul sighed playfully. “But all jokes aside and as fun as it is to travel, I always miss you, Cece, your dad, and your mom. That’s why I came to see you guys.” Cam smiled. “Well, I missed you too. Because otherwise my mom and dad partner up against me on our trivia nights and they’re both such a nerdy one-mind team together that I lose.” Iseul grinned. “Don’t worry Cam, I’ve got your back.” She said, patting her niece on the shoulder. “Also.” Cam smiled mischievously. “Piper’s auntie Megan apparently used to date you, Megan Liao.” She clarified. “And she told me she has cheesy goofy stories from when you guys were 18.” Iseul’s eyes widened but then she smiled. “I remember Megan for sure, she was great.” She said. “And tell her that she could tell you my cheesy stories but then I could tell Piper cheesy stories about her to tease her with.” Cam laughed. “Okay, fair enough.” She said.

Iseul headed off to say hi to her brother and sister-in-law, and Cam headed out to the porch to practice some moves on the chess table that she’d learned in her club. She smiled as she thought of cheesy jokes Piper might say about the moves and pieces. Cam told Piper a bit about chess, but Piper was still mystified by some aspects. “Why can’t I just move this horse piece there?” She’d asked Cam once when they were at Piper’s house and using the chessboard, and Cam had explained the rules her dad had taught her about it. Piper had been like, “Okay, I’m as supportive yet confused as when Darren told me about the anime he and Vikram watch that has a bunch of stuff going on but seems fun.” Cam had grinned and told Piper it was okay, she’d be the chess champion in the relationship. Piper had rolled her eyes but smiled.

Now, Cam tried to focus and get her mind off Piper, although she kept thinking of the way Piper’s perfume smelled, all floral and sweet with a slight warm vanilla note. Plus, the way it felt when Piper would snuggle with her, and seeing her amber eyes light up as Cam’s eyes met hers.

[t-am-i-the-asshole]

AITAH for not seeing my nieces because I’m gay?

Hi there, titles a little weird but need some insight on this situation.

My sister (34), Aly and her husband, John (36) have 2 daughters (16/6), my nieces, who I adore and love with all my heart.

When I was 25, I moved in with my sister and BIL while I attended college. It was short lived, about 9 months, as they decided they wanted to sell their house but while I was living there, things were great. I was able to help watch the girls while my sister and BIL worked, we would have movie nights, games, the whole works. I was the fun uncle. With my sister, we have always had a strong sibling bond, we had shit parents/family and supported each other through thick and thin. In fact, up until recent years, we had one fight that we both give each other shit about because it was the only time we’ve ever yelled at the other.

After I moved out, found my way in life and college, I came out of the closet at 27. I was actually threatened to be outed to my sister, and that’s how I came out, but, that’s a whole separate post. She was of course happy for me and wanted me to be my true-self. She, of course, told my BIL.

John and I actually used to be really close. Before I moved in with them, we would play video games nearly every night. We became bros and honestly, it felt like I did have a brother in my life. That changed when I came out. John had told me he was of course supportive and loved me all the same, but around that same time he started to bring up religion or going to church with my sister and nieces whenever I was with them. It was really odd, because after knowing John for so long, he hadn’t really ever brought up religion before. The most clear example I have was once my sister asked me if I was seeing any boys and John immediately started talking about Sunday School and how he and Aly are teaching it now. I am not a religious person, but I went to church camp as a kid, so there’s a place in my heart for what it can do; that’s to say, I didn’t care that John brought this up, if anything, it made me feel like my sexuality made him uncomfortable.

About a year and a half ago, Aly, John, and a few other friends went out to celebrate Aly’s birthday. At one point, it was just me and John at our table. John said to me “Hey, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something. It’s been… getting really tough to explain to the girls how they can still love you although you’re going to hell. It’s a lot emotionally for them.” And I froze. I didn’t even know what to say. I’m pretty sure I muttered “oh ok” and someone came back to the table.

It was a week later I was watching my youngest niece and she asked me what hell was like. It hurt so much and who knows, maybe it wasn’t John’s doing that made her ask, but ever since I couldn’t stop thinking about how every time I left their house, John’s sitting the girls down and explaining they can still love me, despite me burning in hell. So, I just emotionally withdrew. I love love love my nieces, but in my mind, it was easier for me to be around less so that John didn’t have to explain to them how to love me. I still call and FaceTime on birthdays and holidays with other family present, but my overall presence in their life greatly diminished.

Bringing us to today, I recently moved across the country to a larger city; been super happy with life here after living in tiny Midwest towns my whole life. My sister and I still text every once in awhile and she reached out to me recently to ask about attending Christmas back home. When I said I wasn’t planning on coming back for it, she blew up my phone saying I have been abandoning the girls and I’m just as shitty as the rest of our family for missing out on their lives/holidays. I replied “Sorry, don’t want John thinking I’m taking you and the girls to hell with me”. She asked what that meant and I explained what John had told me. Silence back.

My mom text me and asked what hell I did because I caused a huge fight with John and Aly. If anything, I feel I am an asshole for not being there for my nieces but I do not feel bad for letting Aly know what John said and how it made me feel. AITAH?

[ruminate88]

When You Were The Family Caretaker: I never knew me

When you’ve had to take care of family members or maybe your spouse, you understand what it feels like to NOT know who you are at all and to be focused on those who need your care. It’s all you know.

at 15, I had moved in with my grandma who had dementia. I had already been babysitting for my uncle off and on for weeks at a time. I practically lived at his house half the time. Then have to take care of my grandma and my brother needed help raising his kids…. I also was in emotionally abusive relationships with men who prey on my nurturing and caring spirit.

Often times my mom had various health issues and I also helped take care of her at times. Not just health wise but at times helped pay family bills. (That was only a few times in an emergency) I never got to be a teenager even though I was one. My whole life was surrounding the needs of others. When my grandma finally passed, I still had my nieces and nephew to look after but a small part of me left. My mom had to have a hip replacement surgery when I got engaged and I was focused on her while planning my wedding.

After I got married, my bro’s kids are now older and basically starting to not need me so much… my mom is basically healed from her surgery and now it’s all about me and my husband. My husband has been independent before me and taking care of himself. He’s never been a caretaker, he knows nothing about it. I feel out of place and uncomfortable. It’s so different and I have no idea what I want out of life. I got married in a rush to feel “safe” from my ex Andrew.

but at some point my husband has to have surgery on his foot. I’m back on. I wait on my husband hand and foot. My mother in law calls me “princess” and says I do too much for her son. Thinks her son is getting spoiled too much… but I couldn’t make her understand I’ve always been a “care taker” so it was comforting to take care of her son like that. I’ve only been in one-sided relationships. I don’t know how to love and support my own self. It’s always been about other people.

the “lost feeling” is legit after being a care taker. Who am I? What do I need? What do I want out of life??? It’s all real and important. You matter just as much as those you loved and supported.

This “healing journey” hasn’t been just about getting over my exes but discovering myself too and taking care of me now. Something I never did before. I just started going to the dentist when I haven’t been since a child. This has been incredibly hard and uncomfortable but literally life changing. I’m changing my point of view and how I see myself. It’s shedding a layer of skin off me that’s no longer serving me. Ugh, part of me pushes back and hates it. The other part is excited. I do want to have my own kids some day yet I’m afraid to lose myself again. Not wanting to lose myself in my marriage either. I care about my husband but after the one-sided relationships I’ve been in, I’m now tolerating less and getting more outspoken and independent. Something I’ve never been! ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[no-ctrl]

Im sad. Maybe my period is coming. Maybe seasonal depression is kicking in. I am dead inside rn. I feel like I’m being laughed at from above whether it’s God or the Universe. I’m sorry to talk about both in vain but it genuinely feelings like a twisted joke. I literally had one of the worst spirals 2 nights ago. This is how it started. I unblocked Israel on Instagram then saw he was active a day before. Then I looked through his little bros page and he had posted a guitar cover of Ivy by Frank Ocean which is a song I have shown to Israel (not saying that’s why his bro is playing it but it reminded me of Israel) then I go onto his cousin’s insta and he posted a baby and I’m guessing it’s Israel’s baby brother and that was straw that broke the camels back(it’s me I’m the camel) it felt like an addiction. I looked at his threads, I looked at his tiktok and I felt so desperate I literally resort to making a Facebook. That was an all time low. I purposefully deleted my Facebook bc it was extremely unhealthy for me in terms of letting Israel go. As if making the Facebook wasn’t shameful enough, I reopened a wound the literally makes me sick to my stomach. That wound being facing Israel’s mom and how she was able to continue life and move forward while I felt left in the dust. I saw a picture of her while she was pregnant. It was a photo of her from July 2022. Israel hadn’t even been back yet at that time and there she was pregnant enjoying a family party. Then this weekend she was at her nieces baby shower. I hate her. I hate how much she has control over my feelings. I hate being so terrible. I hate hating her. I don’t want to think or feel anything towards her I want to forget her. But I can’t help but hate her for everything. I hate how she used me like if I was some emotional support dog for her addict son. She didn’t treat me like a person. She never considered me. I hate how Israel would get upset with me when I expressed my hurt towards her bc he would get defensive towards his mom (I don’t blame him) I hate how despite everything she did to him he still chose her over me. I hate that I even feel that way bc it sounds so irrational. I hate her. I hate how she gets to cause havoc and destroy everything yet continues to live life and having community within her family, she still has her son choosing her. I hate her. I hate seeing her happy while I’m miserable. It feels so tortuous. It feels like I have a wound and someone is just pouring salt and lime in tht wound and rubbing it in. Instead of being tortured by the thoughts of my brain I’m being tortured in all aspects. You think seeing her was the worst part? No it really wasn’t. Today when I was driving to my evening class after work tell me why he was right next to me at the spot light and he was just so eager to drive away he literally ended up crossing 2 yellow lights. It felt like a practical joke bc I was already in my feels these last few days. I literally couldn’t stop crying for 20 minutes. I felt like I was being laughed at. It felt like a cruel joke was being played on me. Haven’t I gone through enough? Haven’t I been putting my part? I haven’t broken no contact. I haven’t driven past his house. I give myself space to feel my emotions. I won’t lie this past weekend was a great sabotage to myself but it didn’t involve rekindling with him. So why universe why did you put me in that situation? I’m sorry being so angry and upset but isn’t this enough? I’m literally so tired. I want to be happy. I’m trying I swear but today felt so excessive. I know life is u fair but why me why now? I’m tired of being strong and holding it together. I just want to be looked after. I’m just so sad. Like I just want Israel but he doesn’t want me. He literally left me. His mom dropped him in Mexico many times when things got hard yet I’m the villain in this story. Im tired of this. Im tired of all the injustices I’m faced with. Im tired of this. I deserve to be happy I deserve an easy life. I deserve peace. I deserve to be loved.

[secretjournalofm]

He is still trying

My name is Mickey Morandante. I am a student, a woman, a dreamer, a child, and a daughter, but most of all, I am a sister to my brother and four sisters. I have been crying for the past hour because I just found out my brother dropped out of college. But first, let me tell you something about my brother. His name is Bryan. He is, I think, 31 or 32 years old. Way older than I am. He is an extremely funny person. He always has a way of making us laugh, even in serious situations, which, I guess, is also a con about him that, at most times, he does not really take things seriously. He is a decade older than me, but I’ve always thought I was more mature than him. He likes to play basketball and is always onto something, many things. Lately, he’s been trying out this Facebook casino agent thing. The last time, he was onto streaming and gaming. Before that, he helped out in the family gardening business. Since before the start of the pandemic, he went back to college. He became a father at the young age of 18. He is now a father of three. He also had substance abuse problems. He was sent to rehab when I was probably around 12 years old. He never finished the program, though. He broke out of rehab and never came back. He never really had an actual job. Maybe one, as a janitor at an electrical power plant in our town. He did not last a year. Many times, I questioned him. I question his decisions and him as a person. I often wanted to scream at him, hoping my words would wake him up and he would stop being such a burden one day. I am frustrated and worried more than I am mad. But more than frustrated and worried, I am hurt because, as a sister, I want to see him succeed. I want to see him be a father to his children. Part because I am tired of being one to my nephews and nieces, and I am tired of seeing my mom and dad play that role for him, but more because I know my nephews and nieces deserve so much more, that they deserve a father, a present one. I hate a lot of things about him. I hate that he goes out with his friends a lot. I hate that he was never around the house when I came home from spring break or even before I left for college. I hate that he drinks. I hate that he smokes. I hate that he always asks me for help with his homework. I hate that he dropped out of college one year before finishing. I hate that he had the guts to say, “When I asked for help, you were not there”. I hate that he always asks for money from me. I HATE THAT HE DOES NOT TRY, NOT ENOUGH. But more than I hate him, I care for him. I could not stop crying for an hour because my emotions rushed through my brain. I am hurt because I know he is also struggling. I am hurt because I know he has problems, and does not tell us. I hate that we are not as close compared to my 2 other sisters. I feel as though nobody truly knows him in the family that’s why he always goes to his friend. I want to know what’s going on with him. I want to know if he has plans. I want to know why. Why has he not put an effort into changing his life? I feel guilty knowing that I am living my “best” life abroad, and he’s back home, struggling just like my sister. How could I be ok but not them? How could I be reaching my dreams and not them? He became a father at a young age. His youth was taken away from him. Maybe that’s why he never fully matured. I want to take them with me if I move up in life. I love my brother dearly. I want to bridge the gap in our relationship. I want to help him. I don’t know how or if he even is willing to be helped. I want to know he is loved. I want to support him. I want to be a sister to him just as he is my brother. My last tumblr post was also about him and it said “he’s trying”. Maybe he is. I know he is. 

[destressconfess]

Confessions of a functioning C**ehead A Series

(This series is real diary entries from a woman who had a drug addiction and was not very good at hiding it. these are real, the views are scattered and unpredictable but hopefully they are relatable to someone who is also struggling as a functioning addict desperately trying to get clean)

I wouldn't be upset if I found out Don wanted to see someone else. Just look at me! I'm a mess! I have no confidence, I have no swag, I have no glow! I can see why we've never gotten married or why there wasn't/hasn't been an engagement. I pushed all that onto him. I wish I was pretty again. I wish I loved myself and woke up every morning confident. I wish I was in school. I wish I liked looking at myself. I wish he would leave me and my problems and find himself someone who can be his woman. It feels like I can't because I feel like his annoying little sibling. I wish I knew how to be a woman or lady and how to be a wife, mom, daughter, sister, niece and granddaughter. I just want to know how to be right.

He won't even look at me. We're always side by side but never face to face. Maybe he's tired of me and this life. I hope I haven't ruined his life and he's now stuck with me. I hope he doesn't think he is stuck. I'd rather him be happier without me than hating life with me. I thought I would breakdown writing that, but I didn't. I love Don that much. And if he'd want me back, I'd wait and won't feel stupid about t. He's playing my favorite Kush and OJ song, but I can't vibe to it. I wish I could shake this off of me. Normally I can but I fear it might take forever. Physically, I'm starting to feel like I have been carrying this giant weight and I can feel myself weakening. I'm not eating like my "normal", I'm not laughing or smiling like my "normal", I'm not carefree AS my "normal", I don't feel my childish/young mood as my "normal". Mentally it feels like a radio fuzz and occasionally I connect with words and sentences. Hearing and understanding still feels okay.

I'm more frustrated. I see it more. I wish I could figure out why. It's not about money or bills, it's more like I'm in a constant scare house. I'm afraid of everything I do now. I'm afraid to speak. I'm afraid to go somewhere that I wouldn't normally go to. I'm afraid to start a conversation with anyone, Don, my mom, my sisters, brothers, strangers or even a person I've said Hi to. I'm afraid to try and go to a school and try to learn something someone like me learns. I'm afraid to tell people my dreams. I'm afraid to email Jenna and volunteer because that's not what I'm supposed to do.

I feel like I'm not a normal person and I'm to the point where everyone I encounter everyday had a box they fit into and I'm trying so desperately to fit inside mines. I used to consider myself weird or slightly unique like the kids. But 2 days ago, I woke up and now I've been scared to return back to that stage. I'm scared that that's the person.

Don wants to really have me as his wife. But what if? I just feel like I'm stressing him too much. I want to ask him what could he have possibly wanted in a wife. Why would he consider a woman like me? I think I can maybe try to go to Saturday mediation. I miss new and old me. I miss being the opposite of love and being in love with my man and my kids. My family. Life and everyone and everything else. I don't like "keep moving forward" I swear that sentence and me encouraging myself saying that these past months is f***ing up me being me.

I like to float. Don knows that. I haven't been floating, I've been tripping and now I've fallen. Of course, I can get up, but I've been choosing not to get up just one more time. I really need support getting up. Lord, where can I find my support?

[beneathashadytree]

hi! i saw that your requests were open and i was wondering if you’d write a yuumori piece?

i’m thinking either for william and/or sherlock where it takes place after the 3 years skip and they come back to find that their wife has a baby/toddler and has gotten really close with their brother. They think that she moved on from them and married their brother and had a kid with him and get all huffy and jealous and sad. And it doesn’t help that the kid looks exactly like their brother (and them too but they’re too sad/grieving for their marriage to notice)

what ACTUALLY happened was that Y/N found out she was pregnant after they had “died” and louis/mycroft decided to act as a makeshift father and “husband figure” for Y/N and the baby (though everything is strictly platonic between louis/mycroft and Y/N) cause living as a single mom back then would’ve been hard and they also want to be there for their niece/nephew. and Y/N always told their kid stories and stuff about their real father and it’s just some real sad angst turned into sweet family reunion fluff? thanks! ❤️

REUNITED - SHERLOCK HOLMES X READER

Warnings : this is set after the timeskip, Sherlock is kind of an asshole at certain points, accusations of infidelity, this is not proofread as usual, reader is female and uses she/her pronouns!

Genre : heavy angst to fluff whewww

Word count : 2.2K words (not sorry)

Additional notes : I really don’t know where to start. I’m so sorry it took me a ridiculously long time to get to this, but as soon as I finished my finals, I contracted COVID 🥹 Actually I’m still sick as we speak, but hopefully this wasn’t too effed up🫠 Thank you for requesting, and I hope you enjoy this, because I absolutely adored writing it!

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!

Masterlist

Sherlock Holmes was a million things. Stubborn, obstinate, headstrong, and absolutely bullheaded? Certainly. Inquisitive, deeply thinking, and brimming with a curiosity that could never be sated? Definitely. Ultimately kind-hearted at times, rather drawn to souls with soft corners to their jagged personalities, and unconditionally loving when he allowed himself the luxury of affection? Unquestionably.

He was all those things and more, and he thought he knew himself pretty damn well—but he certainly hadn’t expected to think himself a fool. At times foolish; yes, but not a blundering idiot that misplaced his trust in others. Never that. But then again, what else would he call himself, with the sight that stood in front of him?

Unless his eyesight had turned drastically poor and he wasn’t seeing things right, there was his wife, seated next to the head of the table, looking so sweet that it sent his heart barreling in his chest. Any blooming adoration was dampened, however, by the fact that she’d left her dinner plate to coo at a little child at her side, napkin dabbing at the squirming toddler’s chin, and the fact that the seat at the head of the table was occupied by none other than Mycroft, who’d sported a few more lines to his face than he’d last recalled he had.

It took them mere seconds to notice his presence, and for the sound of utensils clanging as they dropped to register amidst the pang of betrayal and utter heartbreak that resounded in him.

“Sherly?” came her quivering voice, disbelief tinging the nickname that had once brought immeasurable joy into his life, and now only left a sour taste in his mouth. He couldn’t bear to meet her eyes, instead swiveling his head around and watching his older brother, whose shocked expression mirrored hers.

Instead of addressing any obvious elephant in the room, all Mycroft asked was, “How’d you get in?” to which Sherlock pulled out a key from his back pocket.

“Not quite diligent of you, brother, leaving the key under the potted plant by the windowsill,” try as he might, he couldn’t fight the bitterness out of his voice, and all he could do was attempt to look at anything else but the apparently happy couple that had hurriedly stood up, abandoning their half-eaten red flannel hash and peas.

A rather horrible decision, really, since his eyes landed on the toddler who’d currently cocked his head curiously at the stranger he was. And the first sickening thought that entered his mind was how utterly identical the little kid was to his older brother. The same narrow dark eyes, the same tousled bluish hair, and even the same finely drawn lips—there was no doubt remaining in Sherlock’s mind that this child was his nephew.

A chuckle came from behind him, “First time seeing your brother in three years after you were presumed dead, and the first words out of your mouth are an admonition? You’ve certainly grown up.”

“Yes, well, I hope my arrival hasn’t put a damper on your lovely date night,” came his curt reply, though he tried to force a half-smile on his face afterwards as a sort of compensation, “I see you’ve been faring well,” the man turned to briefly face his lover—well, ex-lover now he supposed, “The both of you. And the little boy. Certainly hadn’t thought I’d be made an uncle so young.”

It was all Sherlock could do to prevent himself from clawing at his chest, the sharp pain climbing up his throat and stinging every nerve he had, urging him to burst into horrible, absolutely ugly tears that he was currently just barely holding back. He had to feign at least some dignity and nonchalance.

At that, the woman he’d once thought he knew furrowed her eyebrows.

“Uncle? Sherly—“

“Please, Mrs. Holmes,” his voice held a certain finality as he held his hand up, and he somehow managed to swallow past the lump in his throat, “I would rather not have this conversation in front of him. Or at all, for that matter.”

And though every part of him begged to clutch at her arms and swoop her into his, the ebony-haired man turned to look the other way despite her slightly-hurt look, leaving her to gently speak to the confused-looking child in a low voice and pick him up as she walked off into another room. He refused to even think of sneaking a look at her fingers and wondering if the ring Mycroft must’ve bought her was any better than the one he’d barely managed to save up for.

Mycroft. Of course it had to be Mycroft, he bitterly thought to himself, as said man stiffly guided him to the sitting room, Mycroft whom he’d never managed to and never will best. Mycroft, with his much tidier hair, deeper set eyes, calmer visage, and regal features. Mycroft, with his unmatched maturity that somehow fit perfectly with his occasional smiles that he’d always trusted in. Mycroft, with his massive build and unwavering loyalty that his own apparent-fickleness could never compare to. Mycroft, who’d always (unknowingly) charmed ladies and gentlemen alike at the times he himself could only ever strike annoyance in others.

Mycroft, who’d always been so prim and promer—of course he’d never measure up to him. He’d never quite been enough; he really should’ve known better than to trust the insurmountable love that had blinded him—

“Sherlock, I think there’s been a… misunderstanding of sorts.”

“Rather charming child he is, isn’t he?” the faux cheer in his voice as he interrupted his older brother couldn’t fool anyone as he studied the baby pictures on the fireplace, “Your son takes after you quite a bit.”

Mycroft sighed, crossing his legs, “It really isn’t that—“

“Better hope he’d have a bit more loyalty and faithfulness than his father, though,” he hummed, though the look on his face could only be described as utterly miserable, “Never quite liked chaps who were too full of themselves and went and backstabbed their friends and families.”

“Oh, honestly,” exasperation seeped through the man’s words as he attempted to get a word in edgewise, “Pull your head out of your dramatic arse and listen to me.”

If not for anything else, Sherlock was stunned into silence by the older man’s uncharacteristic foul language. Sharp eyes found his, and though the bitterness still clutched at his heart and heartbreak still clouded his vision, he clenched his fists as he could only see earnestness in his eyes.

“He’s yours,” Mycroft slowly said, letting the words sink in, “You’re the father.”

Silence enveloped them, and the air was thick with an inexplicable sort of tension. No words were spoken, as Sherlock’s face turned expressionless as the gears in his head set to work.

“That’s not possible,” he scoffed, his tone snarky, “She wasn’t pregnant before… before it happened.”

“That’s what we thought, didn’t we?” a soft sigh came from behind him, and he whipped around to see the woman he’d once embraced so hard he’d had no idea where he ended and she began, standing at the doorway with her arms folded, “Barely a month after you disappeared, I went to see a doctor for my repeated dizzy spells, only to have him confirm that I was with child. Just two months along.”

With careful strides, she took a seat by the fireplace, regarding the way Sherlock’s features began to contort into a look of offended fury.

“So, you decided to just go ahead and court my wife because I was presumed dead?” he rolled his eyes, once again turning away from the familiar gentle face that stirred up all the memories of nightly embraces and warm words whispered, “Ex-wife, it seems. Have you been comfortable playing the role of doting husband and father, Mycroft?”

“You know damn well he’d never do that, Sherlock,” she finally snapped, quickly making her way over to his side and cornering him on the couch, arms resting at both sides of his head, “Mycroft saved us from a world of misery. He protected both my reputation as a widow, and our son’s happiness. So he could grow up surrounded by the sort of love only a father figure could give.”

“I’m not quite sure you’ve noticed, but that’s the definition of playing father and husband,” Sherlock’s eyes were burning, and he knew that the cause wasn’t just the anger bubbling inside of him, but the tears that he held back, “With the actual father and first husband gone, he’d finally step in.”

“What did you expect me to do, leave them out on the streets so that the ‘Ton could dig into their flesh?” Mycroft’s interruption was scathing, but not untrue, and his harsh scowl let up as he spoke again, “I made it clear to him from the start that I was a concerned uncle, nothing more, nothing less. I wanted to be there for my nephew.”

“And I’d never let a day pass without telling him about how wonderful and brilliant his papa was—is,” she corrected herself, a sad look settling in her eyes as she did, “Even when I was all alone in bed with nothing to keep me company but the baby’s kicks against my belly, I spoke to him and told him of how lucky I’d been to have found you,” she paused, swallowing thickly, and he could feel his heart thudding in his chest at the sight of her looking so beautiful and yet so heartbreakingly distraught, “How sorry I was that he’d probably never get the chance to meet the incredible man you are.”

“Sherly,” his brother’s voice was soft once again, and the gentleness in it had him nearly gasping for breath, trying to blink back his tears as he met his eyes, “I would’ve never forgiven myself if I’d left them to fend for their own. I owed that much to you.”

Harshly gulping, Sherlock unclenched his fists, knuckles a little sore, “And… there’s nothing going on between the two of you?”

Fervently shaking her head, the woman he thought to be the most wondrous in the world cupped his cheeks in hers. Under any other circumstances, perhaps he’d have felt embarrassed of such a display of affection in front of Mycroft, but he currently could only let himself lean into the touch he’d gone three achingly long years without.

“Never had, and never will,” she firmly replied, “I was too busy mourning to ever think of anyone else. I knew I’d only ever have eyes for you, come what may.”

“I’ve never laid eyes upon her in a way a brother wouldn’t,” Mycroft insisted, driving the point home clear, his large, calloused hand resting on his younger brother’s shoulder reassuringly, “And we’ve slept in entirely different wings the whole time.”

“B-but, he looks so much like you,” Sherlock weakly protested, looking up at the man whose expression seemed annoyed at the remark.

“How you could be so bright and yet so painstakingly thick at the same time is beyond me,” he muttered under his breath, walking away as he said something about this being outside his area of expertise, at the same time his beloved chuckled lightly, her laugh fanning the flames that were being rekindled in his heart—or rather, the ones that had never died.

With her dazzling smile, her fingers brushed his cheeks, which he only now realized had grown damp, and her voice was filled with amusement as her eyes brimmed with a fondness he’d so desperately missed.

“Silly,” she breathed out, “I think you’ve forgotten how uncannily similar you and Mycroft always had looked, especially as kids.”

Sniffling, Sherlock tried his best to weakly make a joke, “Not exactly the most reassuring thing to say.”

“Why not?” she looked genuinely confused as she delicately wiped his falling tears away; the tears he could no longer be bothered to hold back when the emotional turmoil had gotten the best of him and tugged forth every feeling he’d tried to silence.

With a watery half-laugh, he explained, “Well, what if you found him just as dashing?”

“You’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, now, are you?” still cradling his warm skin like one would to an invaluable treasure, she hesitated for a second before lowering herself onto his lap, the new proximity causing Sherlock’s breath to hitch in his throat like a teenager’s would.

Arching his brow (despite knowing he looked anything but intimidating at the moment), he quipped, “Twice in a row I’ve had my intelligence insulted.”

“Well, only an idiot would think I’d ever think of comparing the man who has me so smitten with anyone else,” her hands slowly traced down a path to the back of his neck, hooking around the corded muscle, and he could see his longing and lovesick reflection in her eyes, “No matter how alike you might look, I’ll always see the world of a difference between you and him.”

He cautiously leaned in, hope bursting at the seams under his skin; hope that all was in fact not lost, hope that he could still grasp her between his fingers and not have her slip away. “A good difference, I’d wager?”

And now that they were so close he could retrace every single dot and line he’d almost but not quite forgotten, he could see the glint of gold deep down her neckline; the metallic hue of the wedding ring he’d labored so hard to afford hooked on a thin chain around their neck and hidden underneath her clothes.

If she saw the tears dripping down his face, she made no comment on it, instead murmuring against his lips, “The best kind.”

Taglist: @sherlockscumslut @lilias-highlights @thispersoniscrazy

[electrosuite]

howdy al! i wanted to request a brother!steve harrington.

kinda like a part 2 to the fic where eddie comes back after four years. but i wanted it to be right after y/n gives birth and she's in the hospital and some of the kids come to see, accompanied by steve and robin.

steve is y/n's big brother (by a year) and convinces her to move back in after she’d been unofficially living with eddie. he offers so he can help her raise his niece and she agrees

warnings: mentions of pregnancy & birth

word count: 1.5k

masterlist

Six hours had passed since you gave birth to your daughter Rose. And she looked just like Eddie, the father and love of your life.

This was what you were most nervous about after finding out you were pregnant the day of his funeral. Giving birth and raising your daughter without him. Having to go through it mostly alone terrified you.

But you were incredibly thankful for Wayne Munson, Eddie’s uncle. He let you stay living with him when you wanted to and told you that he would be happy to help with anything you needed during the day before he went to work.

Before Eddie died, you’d been staying with him more than you were home. Sleeping next to him with his arm around you most nights made you feel more at home than you ever had, and before you knew it, that was gone.

Rose had the same curly dark brown hair as her dad, and a lot of it. Really the only feature that she had of yours were your eyes.

And for six hours, you were completely alone in your hospital room. The only company you’d had was Rose, who had been in your arms for the last twenty minutes. That was, at least, until a small crowd of your closest friends burst through the door.

Steve, your older brother, Robin, one of his best friends, Dustin, his other best friend, and Lucas, who was everyone’s friend.

You looked over and smiled at the sight of them, Dustin holding a group of balloons with the word ‘Congratulations’ written across them.

“Hi, guys,” you greeted quietly, trying not to upset your daughter. They all rushed over to see the baby, all of them grinning at the sight of her.

“What’s her name?” Lucas asked.

“Well, I wanted to name her something to honor Eddie. Guns N’ Roses was his favorite band so I went with Rose. It’s a common enough name that I doubt anyone would know the meaning, but I always will.”

After a few seconds of silence, Robin asked a question that stunned you and Steve.

“Can I hold her?”

You both looked at her with expressions of confusion.

“Really? I thought you didn’t like babies,” you responded.

She shrugged. “I have exceptions.”

“Okay. I’d love to have my arms free for a minute.”

You handed Rose over to her gently, reminding her to support the head. Once she had her situated, she walked over to the pull out couch a few feet from the bed, all of her attention now on your child.

Steve pulled the recliner over so he could sit next to you, Dustin and Lucas walking over next to Robin.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, clasping his hands in his lap and crossing his left leg over his right.

You and Steve had always been extremely close, much more than any other siblings that you knew. Your parents were gone a lot, your dad on business trips and your mom tagging along because she didn’t trust him.

So there were a lot of spans of time, ranging between two days and two weeks, that you were either home alone together taking care of each other or at your grandparents’ houses. Those times allowed you to form an unbreakable bond. And even though you didn’t see each other every day anymore, you talked on the phone a lot when you were apart.

“Exhausted. And I’m still pretty swollen and my back hurts, but other than that, peachy.” He smirked, chuckling to himself. “I just wish he was here.”

He instantly knew you were talking about Eddie.

“Yeah. Me too.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you when my water broke. I know you would’ve liked to be here.”

He shrugged. “I’m here now.”

“Steve,” said Robin, who walked up behind him. “Wanna hold your neice?”

He nodded enthusiastically, straightening up in the chair but keeping his legs crossed.

She slowly handed the baby over and you could see instant joy in his eyes. They lit up like a Christmas tree and you could tell he was getting emotional.

“You okay?” you asked.

He nodded. “I just didn’t expect to be an uncle so soon.”

“Trust me, I didn’t either.”

Steve looked at Robin again. “Why don’t you take them to get something to eat, I need to talk to Y/N about something.”

She nodded, glancing at Dustin and Lucas. “Let’s go get food.”

They nodded, following her out of the room and to the cafeteria.

“What’s up?” you asked, loosely crossing your arms.

“You should move back in.”

You raised your eyebrows and scoffed, remembering how much your parents disapproved of you dating Eddie, much less having his child. They told you that if you went through with it, they would only do the bare minimum of helping you raise the baby.

“Yeah, as if Mom and Dad would let me.”

“I already talked to them. They said you could.”

“They said that?”

He nodded. “They just said that they wouldn’t help that much.”

“Wow. I’m surprised they agreed to that. The last thing they said to me was that they spent years hearing two babies crying through the night and they weren’t gonna do it again.”

“Yeah, I’m surprised too. But that’s what I’m here for. I want to help.”

Your eyebrows contorted into an expression saying ‘Really?’

“Have you ever even held a baby before today?”

“No, but neither have you.”

You sighed. “No, I’m not gonna ask you to help me. She’s my kid, I can do it.”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

“Still.”

“Y/N, you’re all alone. Without Mom and Dad, you’re doing this by yourself.”

“Eddie’s uncle said he can help during the day.”

“Okay, well what happens when night comes? You’re not gonna get any sleep doing this alone.” You sighed again. “The whole reason I’m asking you to move back in is so I can help. I’ve told you your whole life that I’m here to help. So let me help. You’d do the same for me.”

You were silent for a moment, thinking about it.

“Okay. Okay, fine.”

He smirked and nodded. “Great.”

“You do know you’re gonna have to change diapers, right?”

“Yep, I know. But it’ll be worth it.”

Rose wrapped her left hand around Steve’s pointer finger and you swear he could’ve melted on the spot at how tiny she was.

“I love you,” you said, a genuine smile on your face.

“I love you, too.”

Going home the next day, you were ambushed at the door, your mom demanding to see the baby. She gushed over her for a few minutes but stood firm about not helping.

Teaching Steve to change a diaper was like teaching a germaphobe to touch dirt. He was trying his absolute best to keep his hands clean, but you kept telling him he could just wash them afterwards.

She loved yanking on his hair. She’d reach up when he least suspected it, grab a handful of it, then pull, seemingly as hard as she could. And when he’d say ‘Ow’ or groan from the pain, she only laughed.

Once she was able to hold her head up, he’d wear the baby sling that you got for your baby shower on his chest and put her in it with her facing away from him so he could keep her close while he was watching her.

When you got home from work one day, he was standing in the kitchen doing dishes with her strapped to his chest, bouncing and dancing to the music that was playing — specifically Head Over Heels by Tears For Fears.

When he splashed a tiny amount of suds onto her nose, she laughed loudly.

You chuckled, walking into the kitchen and leaning down against the island onto your elbows.

“What are you laughing at?” he asked, turning to look at you for a moment.

“Just how much of a damn dork you are.”

“She’s having a great time.”

“I can see that.” She wiped the suds off of her nose and reached up without looking, smearing them on his cheek.

That night, as you and Steve gathered around for Jeopardy!, Rose crawled over to sit beside him on the couch. His arm was laid across the back of the couch, leaving a perfect baby-sized opening. You were more than glad that she loved him, and you knew they’d be close as she grew up.

“Hey,” you said, getting his attention.

“Hm?” he looked over at you, crunching on his snack of popcorn.

“Do you remember that day in that RV when you were talking to Nancy about having six kids?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re gonna make a great dad.”

He looked down at his niece leaning against his side.

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

He nodded. “Thank you. Right back at you. Not about you being a dad. You’re a great mom.

“I got it,” you chuckled. “Thank you.”

Within a few minutes, you and Rose had dozed off, Steve answering the game show’s questions to himself.

[navalcriminalimagines]

Pairings: Rafael Barba x Reader, Sonny Carisi x Reader

Warnings: none?

Words: 4,511

Prompt: Rafael spent years keeping his feelings for you hiding.

Missed shot

When Rafael Barba started to work with Manhattan’s SVU, you’d been a detective there for almost two years. You joined the squad shortly before Stabler left. You saw Nick Amaro and Amanda Rollins joining in too. At first, Cragen partnered you with Amanda, and Olivia with Nick, but considering it wasn’t working between Liv and Nick, changes were made, and Nick became your partner.

You two quickly became close, like a brother-sister relationship. He told you about his issues with Maria, you were the first (and only one) to know when him and Amanda became a thing. So, obviously, you told him your secret.

“This is Tomas,” you told Nick, as you were showing him a picture of an 8-year-old boy. “My son,” you added. “Don’t bother counting, I did give birth to him when I was 17.”

“He’s cute. Looks a lot like you,” Nick smiled at you. “Nobody in the squad know?” he asked.

“Cragen does. But he’s our Captain and it’s in my file. But the rest, nope,”

“Why not?”

You told him more about your debut in the police. At first, you did hide the fact that you were a mom. But you quickly realized that your coworkers and others were judging you. People took you as immature, non-serious, and some guy actually pictured you as an easy girl. You hated every second of your debut. So, when you joined the bomb squad, you decided to make your son a secret. It’s much better this way.

Olivia learned about your son when she took Cragen’s place. A part of her was surprised, but another wasn’t. She saw you with kids, you do have that mother instinct. And of course, she promised that nobody would know about Tom.

Working with the SVU squad wasn’t an evidence for Rafael Barba. Nick gave him hard time for no apparent reasons, Amanda wasn’t a fan of him. Fin didn’t care much. But luckily, Olivia welcomed him nicely and then there was you. You were sweet to him, kind. You asked him if you whether call him “Rafael” or “Barba” – “Your choice,” he answered. You ask him how he’s doing every time you see him. You usually bring him a coffee when you stopped by his office.

You’re nice, gorgeous, young, smart, badass… it didn’t take long for Rafael to get interested in you. More than just as coworker. But this couldn’t be happening, so he started to stay away from you as much as possible. At first, it was easy since Rafael only sees you as a detective. He doesn’t know anything about you outside of the office, only that you have Swedish origins from your father. He doesn’t want to know more. He doesn’t need to.

But despite himself, he overheard conversations between you and Nick every now and then. When the name “Tom” came back multiple times, Rafael assumed you had a boyfriend. Good. This should make things easier.

For two years working together, you and Rafael had a normal work relationship. He kept his crush under-wrap, seeing people every now and then, when the thought of you was too much. Sometimes it was one-night stands, sometimes a bit more. But he never kept seeing the same person for more than two months. That’s when people want to make things more permanent. Rafael doesn’t want that.

Keeping you at arm’s length was perfect for him. He couldn’t let you in. He wasn’t open for a serious relationship, and he felt like you could turn his world upside down if he let you in.

He almost did when Nick got shot. You were very worried for your partner, Rafael almost hugged you when you started to cry in front of him. But Liv called at the same point, so he didn’t. And then Nick left SVU, and New York. His departure hurt you a lot, for a moment, Rafael thought you two had some kind of an intimate relationship. But he remembered a conversation you two had.

“Hey Barba, we’re going out for drinks. Wanna join?” you casually asked.

“What’s the occasion?”

“Okay, first, do you need an occasion to go out for drinks? And second, it’s just that Nick needs to get his mind off the breakup,”

“So, it’s definitely over between him and his wife?”

“Yeah, she’s moving to DC with Zara. He’s not doing great,”

“But he can always count on his other partner,” Rafael said, without thinking.

You chuckled, “What does that mean?”

“You two are—close,” Hopefully, it didn’t sound like jealousy. Which it actually was.

“Amanda is the one he slept with, not me. I’d rather sleep with you,” you left right after.

This was months ago, but Rafael still couldn’t believe you said that. He tried not to overthink about it, but he couldn’t. Was this just a joke? Were you just trying to prove a point? Or did you see him as more than just a coworker? He considered trying to explore this, but before he found the courage to do something about it, Sonny Carisi joined the squad and became your partner.

You missed Nick a lot, but you welcomed Sonny with open arms, unlike the others at first. He will forever be thankful about that. It didn’t take long for Rafael to see that you had a bond with Sonny, just like the bond you had with Nick. Maybe more. Liv told him a few times that being partners when you’re a cop is very special. He understands that, but it doesn’t he likes it when it comes to you.

Few months after Sonny join in, Rafael heard the name Tom again. You must have to Sonny about your boyfriend. Since he didn’t hear that name for months, he assumed that you two had broken up. But apparently not. Meaning that there’s nothing romantic with Carisi, but you still have a boyfriend. So, Rafael tried to forget what you told him and kept trying to convince himself that what he’s feeling for you isn’t love.

More months went by. It was obvious for Rafael that Carisi had a thing for you. He didn’t like it, but there’s nothing he can do. But he kept turning down all of your offers when the squad met up for drinks. He didn’t need that. He didn’t want to know the you outside work.

One day, he showed up to the precinct. No one was nowhere to be find. He spotted a gift wrapped on your desk. Curious, he took a closer look. There was a card. He looked around, still no one. So, he tried to take a look at the card.

“That’s very noisy of you, counselor,” he heard for behind. You. He jumped from the surprise, let go of the card.

“A box on a detective’s desk. Had to be sure it wasn’t a bomb,” he said, trying to keep a straight face. You laughed at his excuse.

“Would love to see your reaction if you saw a bomb,” you said, with a smile on your face. Apparently, you aren’t mad, so that’s good.

“I’d rather not,” he shyly smiled at you. “What would your reaction be?”

“Considering that I’ve been there before, I would keep my calm and do my best to defuse it,” you said before walking to the coffee area. Rafael analyzed your words for a moment before joining you.

“Come again?”

“Spent two years with the bomb squad before joining SVU,” you casually said, handing him the cup of coffee you just poured.

In four years, this was the first personal information you gave him. He almost couldn’t believe it.

“I—I didn’t know,”

“Well, yeah. We never talked about anything else than our cases,”

“True,” he took a sip. “And why would that be? In your opinion,”

“Because you don’t like me,”

You had poured another cup for yourself and walked up straight to your desk after those words. You sat, grabbed the gift to put it aside and started to look at something on your computer. Rafael was stunned for a moment but joined you again. He closed your laptop, and leaned against your desk, right next to you. He had never been this physically close to you before.

“Why in the world would you think that?” He asked.

“We’ve been working together for four years, Barba. Not once, did you show some kind of interest in me. You’re best friends with Liv, you tolerate Amanda, you’re courteous with Fin. Hell, you gave hard time to Sonny for the first year but now you agreed for him to shadow you. But me? I feel like you wish I wasn’t here,”

Rafael stayed silent for a moment, analyzing your words. Indeed, he tried to keep his distance with you, but he never thought it made you feel that way. He felt very bad about himself.

“But hey, no problem, okay? We’ve been able to make it work that way for years, there’s no reasons we can’t keep going,”

“You’re very wrong—about everything, Y/N.”

“Then what is it?” You locked your sweet blue eyes into his. For a moment, he was afraid you may see all the love he has for you in his eyes. What reasonable excuse could he tell you? His mind raced. But thankfully, the rest of the squad came back at that moment.

“Barba, Y/N. Are you interrupting?” Rollins smiled.

“Nope,” Rafael stood up right and followed Liv into her office. You watched him leave. No answer. Again.

The gift was actually from Sonny, but it wasn’t for you. It’s for Tomas, who’s now 13 years old. The father left when you told him you were pregnant (he was a bit older) and never saw him again. You raised Tom by yourself, with the full support of your parents, luckily. Your son showed up his interest in makeup and esthetic about a year ago. You completely support him in his passion, brought him whatever he needed/wanted.

Sonny went shopping with his 16 years old niece Mia during the weekend and she wanted to go to the Sephora. He asked her what he could offer to Tomas.

“Uncle Sonny. Are you trying to seduce the mother by being so nice to the son?” Mia asked with a smirk on her face.

“Okay, first, I wouldn’t need to do that. And second, it’s just that—it’s not easy to be different. I just want him to know that he can count on me,”

“Like you wished you could count on someone when you realized you were bisexual?”

Sonny looked at his niece with wide eyes. He still isn’t out to his family. How could she know? “Last year, I figured that this Sam you talked about wasn’t a she but a he. And--I’m bi, too, Uncle Sonny.”

That’s a lot to process in two minutes, while he is standing in the middle of a makeup store.

“There’s nothing wrong with that…right?” Mia added.

“Oh, of course not, sweetheart!” He immediately answered. “When did you know?”

“I was sure when I fell in love with a girl, a few months ago,” she confessed.

Sonny hugged his niece and kissed her hair. “What’s her name? I’d love to meet her,”

“Joy. And that would be nice. I’m so happy I finally told you,”

“I’ll never judge you. And I’ll always be there for you,”

In the squad, you were the only one Sonny came out to. Which makes the two of you even closer.

After the gift “incident”, you and Rafael didn’t talk again for weeks. To be fair, he was trying to avoid you. He almost confessed his feelings for you and that can’t be happening. After this, Rafael decided to call back a woman he used to see. She’s beautiful, smart, nice and wants the same things he does. Exactly what he needs.

He never wanted to talk about his personal life at work, but one day, you showed up in his office. Rafael was on the phone, his back to the door. He didn’t hear you come in, so he kept making plans with Judith. You listened, and felt your chest tightened.

Before he hung up, Rafael heard the door of his office closing. He turned around; nobody was there but he saw you walking out through the blinds. You had heard and walked away.

When Rafael told you, you were wrong about your assumptions, you thought that maybe he was feeling the same way you did. Turns out, you were wrong.

It was Tom’s 14th birthday. You helped him planned an afternoon party. He told you he invited about 10 friends.

But no one showed up. Your son didn’t feel ashamed about his passion - thanks to you and Sonny, mostly - but apparently, his “friends” didn’t like it.

“Baby, why didn’t you tell me they were bullying you? On Monday I’ll go see your principal,”

“Exactly for this. If you do this, it’s gonna be worse. Maybe I should stop,”

“Stop what? Doing something you like? Not under my watch, T. Those kids are just the reflections of their close-minded parents,”

“Yeah, but at least people show up to their birthday parties,”

It broke your heart to see your son like this. You needed to fix this. You need to see your son happy. All day, every day. You went to the bathroom and called Sonny.

“Sonny, I need you,” you said when he answered. “Short things first, those stupid kids didn’t show up to T’s party. There’s no one here. Can you come? With Mia? And Joy? I’m gonna call Liv, see if she can come with Noah,”

“I’m with Mike right now so he’ll be with me. Call Fin too, we’ll stop by Amanda’s to pick her and Jesse,”

“Okay, that’s great, thanks Sonny,”

“Of course. Tom will remember his 14th birthday I promise. Why don’t you call Barba too?”

“Why in the world would I do that?”

“It would be rude not to. Don’t you think?”

“I guess. I’ll see. Can you be there in about an hour?”

You call Liv and she agreed, same for Fin. But Sonny was right, you had to call Rafael.

“Barba,” he answered.

“Hey, it’s Y/N. Sorry to bother you on Saturday afternoon. Um—if you aren’t busy, what do you think about stopping by my son’s birthday? It’s kinda unfair, but stupid kids didn’t show up. I call everyone, they’re all coming. But hey, don’t feel obligated. You don’t have to if you don’t—“

“Okay,” he answered before you could finish your monologue.

“Okay?” You repeated.

“Yeah. When should I be there? And how old is he?”

“I said an hour to everyone. And if you’re asking his age to buy him a gift, don’t bother. Right now, all he needs is people to be there to celebrate,”

“Y/N, don’t make me argue please. How old is your son?”

“14.”

“Okay, thanks. See you in an hour then. Text me the address, please,”

“See you, Rafael,”

Rafael tried to stay calm and natural in front of Judith, but there were some many things in his head right now. Since he went to the bedroom to answer your call, he lied to the woman he was with, pretending a work emergency to leave.

You have a kid. A teenage kid, actually. A quick count made him realized you gave birth when you were 17. Many things made sense now. He needs confirmation but it seems clear that, this Tom he heard about, is actually your son, and not your boyfriend like he assumed.

How could he not know about this? You’ve been working together for almost five years now. He really kept his distance with you. But somehow, he still fell hard for you.

“Hey Liv, I got a call from Y/N. I’d like to buy a little something for her son, do you have any idea?”

“Well, do you know anything about makeup?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Liv laughed. “Where are you? I can pick you up and we stop by a store to buy him something,”

“Okay, I trust you on that.”

An hour later, everybody was there. You welcomed them as they arrived. “If he doesn’t like it, that’s on Liv,” Rafael joked as he handed you the gift he had for your son.

“Nope. That’s on that sells woman that was clearly hitting on you,” Liv interjected.

“She wasn’t— okay, she was. But not my type,”

“Yeah, and Judith probably wouldn’t like it,”

“I don’t know about that. And she doesn’t need to know anyway,” he smiled.

Tom’s mood improved when he saw Mia and Joy. You and Sonny introduced them months ago and Tomas is crazy about them.

“What happened to your face?” Mia asked and Tom frowned. “No makeup, seriously T?” She added, before taking him by the hand.

“Wait—“ you stopped them before they reached the bedroom. “Tomas, meet Mike and Rafael, first. They are the only ones you haven’t met yet,”

It made sense that Tom hadn’t met Mike yet, since he joined SVU a couple of months ago. But yeah, it stings to Rafael. Five years. And he didn’t know.

“You look like a cop,” he said Mike, “but you don’t,” he then said to Rafael.

“Cause I’m not. I’m an ADA, Assistant Dis—“

“I know what it is,” he cut him. “Thank you for coming,”

“Can we do his makeup now?” Mia called out and the three of them — adding Jesse who wanted to go too — disappeared in the bedroom for a moment.

“Thanks, guys, for showing up this quick. It’s a mess,” you sadly said. “T told me that he’s being bullied at school because he loves makeup, lets his hair grow. Apparently, they are calling him a sissy,” your jaw clenched. Rafael saw the mama bear in you. “He doesn’t want me to interfere. But maybe I should anyway,”

“You’re here for him. We all are, that’s what he needs,” Sonny said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to bring you comfort. Rafael tried to avoid the jealousy in his belly.

Opening gifts arrived fast. Everyone brought him something, mostly makeup stuff. Sonny actually got him an appointment in a famous hair salon in Manhattan. Now that his hair is long enough, Tom mentioned wanting to get a real haircut. Mike listened to Sonny’s advices for his gift.

“This is from Nick,” Liv said as she gave Tom a gift. “He wants you to call later,”

“Mom!! That’s two tickets for California!” Tomas exclaimed before reading the note. “And he’s offering me surfing lessons! When are we going? Before—“

“Soon, my love.” You said before he could finish his sentence.

Then came Rafael’s gift. “You can return it if you don’t like,” he said. But Tom’s face lit up when he saw what it was.

“Mom!!!” He showed you the gift, with a huge grin on his face.

“Wow! You finally got it,” you returned his smile and moved a little to stand by Rafael’s side.

“Thank you so much, Rafael!” Tom stood up and hugged the ADA. Some affection Rafael didn’t expect.

“He’s been bugging me for this palette for weeks. I told him to wait because it’s damn expensive,” you whispered to Rafael.

“It’s okay. I’m glad he likes it,” he just answered.

Tomas was thrilled with all of his gifts. It feels good that with those people, he doesn’t have to hide himself, who he is and what he loves. Later, you noticed that Rafael setback from the others. You stood next to him.

“You’re not mad about the gift, are you?” He asked, before you could say anything.

“A little, to be honest,”

“I can pay for that,”

“I know. I see your clothes every day. But that’s not the point,”

“Then what is the point?”

“For the first five years of his life, I couldn’t buy him things. All the toys he had were gifts from my parents— when I made better money, I spoiled him. For years. And now, he’s a very smart teenage boy but he doesn’t necessarily have the value of money. Which I’m trying to teach him. And you showed up with this hella expensive palette, Nick got him plane tickets and surfing lessons. Even the appointment Sonny got him is expensive. That’s not helping,”

“Great,” he smiled, and you shot him a glare, “you’re not actually mad at me, but more at yourself,”

“Don’t do this. You’re not a parent, Rafael,”

“Indeed,” he took a deep breath, “And how come did I do not know you were one?”

“This will just bring us back to our convo from February, don’t you think? And we both know how it ended,”

“We were interrupted,”

“And you’ve been avoiding me ever since,”

So, you noticed that. You always noticed things. He hates that about you. He intensely looked at you, not knowing what to say exactly.

“But don’t worry, Barba, you won’t have to use force for that anymore,” you gently patted his shoulder and joined the others. “My love, do you mind if I steal your thunder for a moment?” You asked your son.

“Nope. Are you going to tell them?”

You looked at Liv for approval and signed Rafael to come closer, which he did. Everybody waited for you to talk. “I—I’m leaving SVU,” you said. There were gasps, widen eyes and Sonny choked on his beer. “Don’t die yet, Sonny. I haven’t finished,” you paused. “It’s no secret that my father was born in Sweden and move here after he fell in love with my mum,”

That, Rafael did know. You talked about your Swedish origins. “After my mum died, my father moved back there. And he’s been bugging us to come with him and considering I’ve always promised this one,” you said, playing with Austin’s hair, “that we would try to live there for a while, I’m actually taking a sabbatical. And next month, we’re flying to Sweden. But we’ll stop by California first, apparently,”

Only Liv knew. So, it came as a shock to everyone else.

The mood changed after that. They were all happy but also sad to see you and Tom leave. Mostly Sonny. It was very rare to witness a silent Sonny Carisi, but this was it. One by one, people started to leave the party. Mia and Joy took your son to the bowling alley. Rafael wanted to be the last so he could have a talk with you, but apparently, Sonny had the same thing in mind.

Rafael was helping you cleaning up the apartment when you noticed Sonny, on your small balcony. “How long has he been there?” You asked Rafael, who just raised his shoulders, clearly annoyed. You joined Sonny, not knowing that Rafael could hear everything you two were talking about.

“You okay there, Sonshine?” Sonny chuckled.

“A bit stunned, I guess.” He said, not looking at you.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I—I was afraid to tell you,”

“Why?”

“Because of what happened a few months ago. Because I’m scared to leave you. Because—I was afraid to change my mind after I told you,”

He finally looked at you. “I’ll never hold you back, Y/N. You know that? You talk so much about Sweden, so does Tom. I’m not completely surprised,”

“Under different circumstances—“ you said, letting the silence says the rest. Sonny turned to his side, so he was facing you.

“I was okay with being your second choice, Y/N, as long as you chose me. But you’re also leaving to be away from him, aren’t you?”

You nodded. “I don’t want to promise you anything, Sonny. But maybe—after that year away—“

He knew what you meant. Sonny put his hand on your cheek, softly caressing your skin with his thumb. Before he could lean in to kiss you, you both heard the balcony window opening. Rafael was standing there. “Who’s your first choice, Y/N?” He just asked. Sonny loudly sighed and turned his back to the lawyer.

“Not important, Rafael.”

“Por favor— answer me.”

“You, idiot,” Sonny muttered, still looking over Manhattan.

“Can—can you come inside for a moment, please?” Rafael asked.

“Don’t worry, I’m leaving,” Sonny said, and turned around to kiss your forehead, “Don’t make anything stupid. Call me,” he kissed your forehead again and walked past Rafael to leave.

“Great timing, Barba,” you sighed.

“I—I don’t understand,” he struggled to say.

“You may be a smart-ass lawyer but when it comes to relationships, you’re very dumb,”

“How long have you—?”

“Been in love with you? About three years. Somehow, the more you pushed me away, the more it made me fall,”

“I pushed you away only because I was scared. Scared of the things I feel for you,”

“You can’t—you can’t confess your love to me as I’m leaving the States, Rafael. That’s not fair,”

“If I don’t do it now, when am I supposed to do it? Over the phone while you’re in Sweden? Or when you come back and choose Carisi?” He paused. “Did you guys sleep together or something?”

“Definitely none of your business,” you said. “And you had five years. Five fucking years, during which all you did was making me feel like a burden for you,”

“I—I never meant to do that. I’m sorry,”

“It’s too late, Rafael. I’m leaving anyway,”

“I’ll wait for you if you ask me to,”

“I’m not. Just like I won’t ask that to Sonny,”

“Then—what? What do we do?”

“Nothing. I’m leaving with my boy in a few weeks, maybe I’ll come back next year, or maybe I won’t. And everybody goes on with their life,”

“Are you saying that I missed my shot with you?”

“Probably,”

This will be hard to swallow. Rafael probably never will, to be honest. But one thing is sure, he couldn’t miss his last chance to kiss you. He closed the gap between your bodies, and slowly put his hands on each side of your face. Since you weren’t pushing him away, he took it as a permission and leaned in to kiss you. He softly put his lips on yours. Right here, right now, on your balcony, nothing else mattered but you and him.

Things escalated quickly. The kiss got more intense, and you used force to make him step back into your apartment. Still kissing each other, Rafael slid his hands on your butt and your legs, gently squeezing to signal you to jump in his arms, which you did. He pulled away briefly, just to ask you which one was your bedroom.

He laid you down on the bed, clothes quickly fly across the room. This probably wouldn’t change a thing, but Rafael made love to you as if his life depends on it.

Indeed, it didn’t change a thing. Two weeks later, you and Tomas flew to California, spent two weeks there with Nick, before flying to Sweden.

Part two, anyone?

[darkwritingsnshit]

Back Home 6

Warnings: This is a dark fic. Please do not read if you’re under 18, or are uncomfortable with dark characters, noncon, kidnapping, alchol mention, drug mention, death threats, asshole characters.

I absolutely hate the holidays and am not big on my family either so I’ve decided to make that everyone’s problem

That night at dinner, everyone wore smug smiles. You remained in a bad mood all day, their amusement was irritating.

“So, dear, you must be thinking of where in New York you’d like to live, now that you’re back together with Steve.” Your father casually mentioned, as though he were talking about the weather.

You choked on your drink, sending some of it spraying onto the table. Your family looked at you like you had murdered someone.

“Excuse you? I am NOT back together with Steve, is that why you all look so damn smug?” 

The entire family seemed to be in on it, they wore the same expression on their faces and exchanged knowing glances. 

“Well, why not?” Bucky was the one to break the heavy silence.

“We broke up for a reason Bucky, and it’s none of your damn business. Why are you all like this? I don’t want to live here, and I am certainly NOT back together with Steve. Why are you so obsessed with me?” You were exasperated. Your sister and brother laughed at the reference you had accidentally dropped.

“So now it’s a crime to care about your children? Why don’t you call the police then because I’m never going to stop!” Your mother was out of her chair, fuming and pointing at you. You wished her outbursts could at least be predictable. “It’s not our fault you can’t see the life you could have here. It’s like you want yourself to be miserable. We’re trying to give you another option!” 

You had to take a few deep breaths and decide the best way to respond without making things worse. 

“Mom, I love you so much, and I truly appreciate everything you do, dad too.” You really tried to sell the lie, years of lying as a teenager made it a little bit easier. “I promise that if I’m not happy with how my life is going, I’ll come back here to be closer to you, okay?” While that was the farthest thing from the truth, it at least made your mother sit back down. 

“If you really loved or cared about us, you’d do the right thing and stay here. Your niece doesn't even know you.” The look on your father’s face was one you were used to, frustration and distaste evident. 

“That’s not my fault, it’s not like they come visit me, or even accept my calls when I do try to call.” Your sister rarely answered your calls, if she did it was brief and you never got to speak to your niece. Your sister always claimed they were too busy to talk. 

“Please, why in god’s name would we come visit you? Don’t you know how difficult it is to travel with a child, or to even get time off? How expensive it is? Oh that’s right, you wouldn’t, you don’t have a child.” Your sister shook her head at you, Bucky made a noise of disbelief at you.

Your mother put her hand over yours on the table.

“You’re not getting any younger, sweetheart…” she started. You didn’t let her finish.

“Please, stop, okay? I can’t take this anymore.” You closed your eyes to silence around the table.

“You’ve always been so sensitive,” your brother spoke up, “you never could take any kind of joke. We’re trying to be supportive, you can’t even deal with that.” 

Your sister laughed and nodded in agreement, your parents shook their heads in what looked like embarrassment. Thankfully, they took the hint and moved on from terrorizing you. You didn’t say another word to anyone that night. 

-

You got one night off; one night with no parties, no forced socialization, even your sister and Bucky had gone to their own house. Your father was locked away in his study doing work, your brother was with Steve and your mother had “retired early” to take a bath and lay down. You figured she might just be taking xanax and drinking wine but whatever got her out of your hair. 

Realizing that it was your one night of respite, you decided to take advantage of the alone time. You perused your father’s vintage wine collection before deciding on a good year, dug a container of ice cream out of the freezer and went to your room alone, locking the door behind you. You didn’t care if you heard screaming or a murder, there was no way you were leaving your room that night unless the house caught on fire. 

Three quarters of a bottle of wine later, you were drunk and enjoying the tv show far more than sober you would. So far you hadn’t heard anything, no yelling, clangs, bumps or other strange noises, thankful for some down time. Downtime wasn’t always a good thing, because even with the tv in the background you couldn’t stop thinking about what happened with Steve. 

You wanted to blame everything on being drunk, but you weren’t that drunk, were you? It couldn’t entireley be chalked up to that, so why had you been so goddamn stupid? With Steve it was always easier to give in than to argue, you knew that, maybe you were just tired of fighting all the time. But you had kept fighting with him, last night had felt like a fight, and you had the bruises on your legs and arms to prove it. At least, half of last night had been a fight. The other half made you feel so good you wanted to scream. You DID hate Steve, you knew it, so why had you let that happen?

Thinking back on your relationship with Steve made you cringe. You had been so young and dumb and sucked into the lifestyle your family lived that you couldn’t even see how toxic it was. It made you sick to think about how controlling manipulative Steve had always been, but it made you feel worse thinking about how you ate it up. You trusted Steve completely once, and it ended up almost killing you. Every moment you thought had been sweet or cute, was just a huge red flag in hindsight. You wished you could scream at your younger self to run. Steve liked to control you, tell you what to think, who to see, how to dress, he liked to OWN you, and you had been young and dumb enough to believe that was love. Steve still thought it was.

Apparently thinking of the devil could conjure him, your phone lighting up with Steve’s name. With a shriek you threw it across the room, laughing drunkenly when it hit the wall and fell to your bed. It continued to ring, the next caller was your brother, which you ignored. Your brother called again, and you giggled.

“Your call could not be completed as dialed. Goodbye.” You tried to sound like a robot, hanging up on him and laughing. Annoyed, you silenced your phone and crawled into bed, realizing that this was probably the only good night you’d have until you went home. 

-

Christmas day itself was the biggest headache of the year. Your parents put on a play for themselves, in which your family were the actors and you had to pretend to be a happy family. You weren’t sure why you had to act all day long, since there was nobody at your house until the party in the evening, but it was absolutely expected that you play along to make your mother happy. There were even special clothes set out for you to wear, so that you wouldn’t “embarrass” your mother by not looking good. Again, there was no one at the house except your family and their staff. 

You opened presents after a lavish breakfast, your family thanking you for presents you hadn’t bought them. Nobody received anything useful, the lavish gifts were status symbols, instead of something pragmatic. When you opened the small box from your mother you gasped. 

“They belonged to your grandmother, she wore them on her wedding day. She wanted you to do the same.” Your mother informed you. The pearls were beautiful, clearly passed down through generations of women in your family. “They stay here though, you can’t take them back to your place when you leave.” 

None of the gifts you’d ever received had come without contingencies. 

“Thank you mom, it means a lot.” You couldn’t stop looking at the necklace; it matched the photographs of your grandmother in the hall.

“Hopefully you’ll have a use for them sooner, rather than later.” Your father huffed at you, which you ignored. 

You really, really wished that after opening presents the day would end, but you didn’t get what you wanted when it came to family. There were a few hours of respite in the afternoon while your parents rushed around, getting everything in place for the guests that would arrive that evening. You weren’t lucky enough to be spared the thirty minute lecture from your mother about how you had to behave and look appropriate. You had been hearing the same speech since you were a child, you could probably have given the lecture to yourself from memory. 

-

Eventually you stopped asking yourself why your family did the things they did. You wouldn’t get it, probably not ever. Why would they make everything complicated, why would they insist on wearing themselves out for the benefit of other people who didn’t actually care? Considering the short amount of time you had left in the house, you again decided the best course of action was to be quiet and not ask questions that would get you yelled at. You only had a few more days of this. 

By the late afternoon you watched people filter into the house, and heard the noises of a party begin slowly. Groaning, you wondered how much of this you could put up with. Exhausted by the constant expectation of perfection, you decided to forgo your parents wishes, after all it was Christmas.

That’s exactly how you found yourself too drunk. You thought you were pacing yourself but you clearly hadn’t done a good enough job. The sun had set, the house was filled with people you didn’t care about, so you were on the balcony, hiding away in plain sight.

“Gimme one of those,” your hand was shaky as you held it out towards your brother. Surprisingly without a snide remark, he handed over a cigarette.

Steve already had a lighter in his hand, leaning close to light it. You took a few drags until you couldn’t anymore, you hadn’t smoked in years and the whole thing would make you sick, but damn did just enough make you feel better. Steve took it from your fingers and smoked it with you; you let him pass the cigarette back and forth between the two of you until it was gone. 

“You know-” 

“Don’t ruin this.” You waved your hand at him when Steve began to talk, and he miraculously fell silent for a few more minutes.

“I haven’t seen you smoke in years,” Steve tried again.

“I need to brush my teeth,” you walked away, not caring about anything he had to say to you.

After a quick toothbrush and hand wash, you thought about how long you could hide out in your room until someone came looking for you. With a sense of dread you slowly went back downstairs. Maybe you could avoid the rest of your family if you tried hard enough. You laughed at yourself in the mirror at the thought, but you were drunk enough to not care.

-

“Whatever I don’t give a shit.” Your mother was lamenting your intoxicated state. She found you after you came back downstairs, furious at your drunkenness. It was funny how she cared so much about you and your sister getting drunk or tipsy, but didn’t bat an eye when your brother pulled the same stunt.

To prove a point you grabbed the nearest drink, that happened to be in Steve’s hand, and threw it back. You were aware that it was a bad decision but you really, really didn’t care. You were sick of this, it was Christmas and they wouldn’t let you have a minute break from their judgments. 

The amount of liquor you’d had was unreasonable, you eyed the tables in the room looking for carbohydrates to sop up the mess in your stomach. You were starting to feel woozy. 

“I can’t believe my eyes, someone is finally starting to have a good time!” Steve followed you out to the balcony again where you had gone to clear your head.

“I’m not having a good time, I’m miserable.” Why hide how you really felt?

“You seemed happy enough to steal my drink,” Steve countered. 

“I’m not blacking out to have a good time, I’m blacking out to pretend I’m somewhere else.” Steve held up another cigarette which you took and lit, back towards him. 

“Blacking out huh? That’s not like you.” He said with a smile you could hear. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” you gestured behind you towards your family’s house. 

“We can always get out of here,” Steve liked how drunk you were, it made you more compliant. 

“Nah, I’d rather not spend any more time with you,” you let him know. 

“So you’re gonna steal my drinks and my cigarettes and leave me hanging?” 

“My god! I’ll go get you a drink and buy you a pack of cigarettes Steve, why are you like this?”

“Why won’t you come home with me?” He acted like he hadn't heard you.

“Because I hate you!” Your hands were thrown up. 

“Nah, you don’t hate me.” Steve would never let you win any argument. “You proved that the other night.”

“You’re disgusting.” He would never let you live down your mistakes.

“Mmhm, well let me know if you still feel the same way in half an hour.” You could see the smirk on his face when he moved closer.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You weren’t having any more drinks, unsure how half an hour would make you warm up to him.

“That drink was spiked with molly.” Steve nonchalantly threw out.

“What the fuck Steve?” You were suddenly livid.

“It’s Christmas, I’m enjoying myself. And it looks like you will be too.” Steve was all too pleased with himself.

“I need to throw up.” You tried to run to the toilet but Steve stopped you. 

“It’s no use now baby, just relax okay? It’s already in your bloodstream.” He sounded so self assured, so pleased that you had fallen into a trap that he hadn’t even set.

“Goddamn it.” You couldn’t believe yourself. How could you be so stupid?

-

Twenty minutes later, you felt so much better, the people around you were less annoying, the conversations engaging. You surprised yourself with your willingness to talk to people, your leg bouncing the whole time. The people in your house were suddenly far more interesting than before, everyone was so much nicer. 

Approaching you with a smile, Steve sat down beside you and ran his hands up your legs, settling them on your thighs but you didn’t care for once, it felt nice. 

“Hey, how’s it going?” You greeted him, a smile creeping across your face. It didn’t annoy you that he was there, that he was touching you. 

“Feeling better?” A sly look on his face. 

“Yeah, I feel great!” All the animosity had left your voice, you weren’t sure why you had been so upset with Steve. 

“Yeah I thought you might. You wanna get out of here?” 

“Where are we going?” You asked with a giggle. 

“Somewhere more private, somewhere we can talk.” 

Talking didn’t sound so bad, neither did getting away from the crowd of people in the room. 

“Sure, let’s go.” Every part of you felt good, your body was tingling, you couldn't stop smiling. Who would it hurt to go talk with Steve?

Grabbing your hand made you feel an electricity between the two of you, Steve’s skin felt so good on yours. You followed him happily up the stairs into your room.

“What do you wanna talk about?” You were interested in what he had to say, it had been so long since the two of you sat down and had a pleasant conversation.

Hardly letting the words get out of your mouth, Steve had you against the wall, lips on yours, fingers lacing together.

“What are you doing?” Your voice was breathy, but not unhappy.

“Treating you right,” was his reply, whispering into your neck between kisses. 

“Mmmm,” was all you managed, Steve’s touches were incredible. 

You pulled him closer, wanting more of his skin on yours, you pulled his jacket away, started unbuttoning his shirt. 

“You finally want to play?” Steve was grinning, more than happy that you were taking the lead.

“You feel good, you smell good,” you told him, hands still busy taking off his clothes.

“I told you so,” Steve was never one to let you forget it when he was right.

“Shut up and kiss me.” You couldn’t get enough of him. Steve was all too happy to oblige. 

Steve’s lips on yours felt right, felt electric, you wanted more. Pulling him by what little clothing he had left, you pushed him down on your bed before climbing on top of him.

“This, I like,” he let you know, a semi surprised expression covering his face.

“Yeah, me too,” somewhere, some tiny part of your brain was telling you to stop, but you weren’t sure why, so you ignored it. You were happy, Steve felt so good, why would you stop? You didn’t care if Steve was finally getting what he wanted, you were too. 

Steve pulled at your clothes and you let out a happy sigh, leaning into his chest to kiss him. You let him take everything off, tugging at his pants to touch more of his skin. He let out a soft laugh; you weren’t sure if he was laughing at you but you didn’t care. 

Steve flipped you over so you were beneath him, eyes raking over your body, trying to memorize all of it. Humming happily, you ran your hands over his shoulders, his back, his hair. Every inch of him was more amazing than the last. With nothing between you, Steve began to touch you and you couldn’t stop from moaning into him.

“Please Steve?” You didn’t have much control over your body or your voice, your brain cloudy with dopamine. You didn’t want him to stop, you wanted all of him, wanted him to fuck you sensless. Your eyes were half closed in pleasure. 

The second his tongue connected with your clit you screamed, white lights blooming behind your eyes, the way Steve made you feel almost had you blacking out. Grabbing his hair, you rocked yourself into him, not taking much for you to orgasm with a sinful moan. Licking his lips, Steve kissed you deep, both of your faces now wet with your juices. 

“Baby?” you were whining.

“Anything for you doll,” Steve looked ecstatic, loving the sounds you made beneath him, begging for him.

You almost came immediately when Steve pushed his thick cock into you. You didn’t even recognize the noises you were making as your own, completely blinded by pleasure. Even the nasty words he was whispering in your ear made you feel good. Wrapping your legs around him, you pulled Steve closer. You loved his kisses, his lips were always perfect, his tongue felt right against your skin.

You weren’t sure how long Steve fucked you, time didn’t have any meaning to you. Eventually you pulled him off you and began kissing down his chest, his stomach until you reached his cock, humming around it as you began to suck him off. 

“Baby, fuck,” Steve was not expecting this, but molly could have one hell of an effect on the right person.

You had no idea what possessed you to do that, but you didn’t care, you wanted Steve so bad, and his cock down your throat was welcome. You made sure to stop before he came, teasing him before climbing back on top and taking Steve for a ride. You didn’t want to stop, hell you did want to break that bed. What seemed like hours later, you felt Steve cum inside of you, felt his cum drip out of you around his cock. You felt so good, so happy that you made him cum, you still had it. 

“I don’t know if I can sleep,” you admitted into Steve’s chest where you were happily wrapped up in his arms.

“Don’t worry about that baby, give me twenty minutes and I’ll have you screaming my name so loud everyone downstairs will hear it.” He kissed the top of your head.

A small smile crossed your face. If Steve wanted to go all night you were absolutely going to encourage it. 

-

@emberenchanted  @jemimah-b99 @ blithecapricorn  @lovepeaceorelse @aemorr-5885​

[jonsa101]

New Amsterdam Season 3x7: The Groundwork to Heal and Rebuild

Last night’s episode truly blew me away. It’s definitely one of the best episodes in the series. To be honest, I was incredibly anxious about how the show would handle systemic racism in the healthcare system but I think the writers did a beautiful job. I love how they have redirected Max’s story. It truly is a great character shift. Max has gone from the “how can I help” guy who tries to solve everything and usually always succeeds at it, to the guy who fails miserably and in frustration even throws in the towel. It’s so refreshing because the Max we had before this shift was unrealistic. This season is so good because this season feels real and authentic and Max though idealistic, is finally getting a big dose of reality in how he operates. I don’t think the show is ever going to give us season 1 or 2 Max again and that’s a good thing! That means our male lead is finally growing and evolving. It’s character development baby and we love to see it!  I also love where the storyline is going for Helen. I have always had a head canon that Helen has some wild baby sister that would pop into her life to live with her and Helen would look out for her and take her under her wing. The story line with Meena is way better than my head canon and kinda falls in line with what I’ve always imagined. I’m so happy that Helen has a niece and that she’s moving in with her! This is literally the PERFECT ROLE for Helen. There’s nothing better than having a character who struggles with being vulnerable than literally having an unexpected character show up to shake things up and unroot the vulnerabilities/traumas said character has yet to deal with.  

A lot of people couldn’t understand why Helen gave up her relationship with Cassian because of her niece but I completely understand where she’s coming from. Helen is completely out of her depth here. She wanted a baby and had know plans to take in her brother’s child let alone a teenager. This is completely new territory for her and the stress of having to juggle this new role, a new relationship and her already hectic job at New Amsterdam was probably overwhelming. Like most people who have a type A personality, she is doing what she feels like she has to do to get ready. Meena moving in with Helen is purposeful on so many levels and there are three things I’m expecting to see on screen because of it.

First, we are going to see so much more of Helen on a personal level. I fully expect to see Helen’s home life way more frequently as we see her step into this aunt/mother role and raise a teenager. This is not going to be a walk in the park. Helen is going to STRUGGLE. Meena will more than likely push Helen’s buttons to know end and and bring out all the vulnerabilities that she tries so hard to keep down. It will be probably be a bit ugly at first but as Helen and Meena start to bond and find common ground, Helen will FLOURISH. We will see her at her best as she thrives in this aunt/mother role. Second, Meena is absolutely going to peep the feelings that Max and Helen have for each other and she’s going to let her opinions be known. For the most part, teenagers know how to read the room and I’m pretty sure Meena will be know different. As Helen and Meena grow closer and as she possibly interacts with Max as well, I’m pretty confident Meena will say something and play a small part in pushing Max and Helen together. Of course this is just a prediction but usually a third character calls out the obvious “Unresolved Sexual Tension” between love interests and my money is on Meena! Third, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Helen stepped down from deputy medical director to step into this aunt/mother role as Max tries to be a single father to Luna while also trying to fill a mother void in Luna’s life. When we were heading into the season finale and going into season 2, I wrote a meta detailing my thoughts about how I felt about Helen deciding to be Max’s doctor again. I didn’t necessarily agree with the decision because I believed that Helen needed to remain true to the emotional and professional boundaries she was trying to set for herself. I also believed that because it was indicated Max and Helen had feelings for each other, her role needed to shift going forward in their relationship. It took two seasons but Helen’s role has finally shifted! 🙌🏾 She is no longer Max’s doctor or deputy medical director and for once Max no longer has the crutch/excuse of trying to navigate how he feels about her through that lense!!! THIS IS HUGE!!!

Max now has to truly sit there with his feelings and feel the absence of not going to Helen for everything because of the necessity of the roles she once had in his life. He will quickly come to terms with the fact that not only is he in love with her but he’s truly wants and needs her as his LIFE PARTNER! On top of that, Ryan has literally been teasing that Max is looking for not only a partner but a mother/mother role for Luna and he’s trying to figure that out fast (I will literally link the article). Max already knows Helen’s desire to be a mom but he will literally get the chance to see Helen step into that role with Meena! This isn’t by accident and it’s all purposeful. I’ve said this a hundred times and I’ll say it again, the showrunners are setting the groundwork for them to get together this season. Something has shifted. There’s a deep longing and desperation behind Max and I genuinely believe that he is consumed with his feelings for her. Through a bathroom door he was trying to convince Helen to be co-medical director to help battle systemic racism but while he’s trying to convince her, through subtext, he is essentially asking her to be his partner in life! I saw someone mention on Twitter that it was basically a proposal in a joking manner but honestly, that’s exactly what it was. It was a subtext laced proposal! His feelings are so all consuming that he can’t truly stay on the topic at hand!!! I think Max is on the verge of the floodgates bursting wide open and he is going to lay everything out on the table. Also, seeing Max’s behavior last night oddly reminds me a bit of Mr. Darcy in the Pride and Prejudice. Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Darcy and Max don’t have the same mannerisms but the depth of the feelings they have for their love interests and how it manifests feels the same. I’ll get into this more at the conclusion of this meta.

Anyway, when I look at the season in it’s entirety so far, I see the show setting up two people that both have to develop and heal in specific areas so that they can eventually come together by the end of the season. Helen is struggling with vulnerability, feeling like she’s running out of a time with the desires she truly wants in life and now in the most unexpected way is being thrust into aunt/motherhood. Max’s idealism has been completely rocked by the pandemic and now more than ever he’s forced to be more self aware of his actions and needs to evolve from the chronic hero syndrome. He’s also essentially stepping into fatherhood again as he tries to learn and navigate being a single dad and making Luna his first priority. I think for a time Max and Helen will need to face their issues head on by themselves but as they go through their own healing journeys, they’re going to need each other. Also, they’re DEEPLY IN LOVE so even though it seems like they’re drifting a part it’s only going to be temporarily. Eventually, they’ll start “burdening” each other again.

Another important point that I want to bring up is this. In the last meta that I wrote, I mentioned how I believed that Max needs to go above and beyond to try meet Helen’s needs and support her and I genuinely believe that we will see that throughout this season. In last night’s episode, after he poured his heart out and told her that he’s grateful that she’s there with him, Helen resigned as deputy medical director. The old Max would have put up a fight and put his needs before hers because he wants her there with him but despite it being painful, he accepted her resignation. That’s growth! Taking Helen out of the equation as his number two at the hospital is going to make him so much more aware of her needs in her personal life rather than the needs of the hospital. They’re relationship has always been so intertwined with their work at New Amsterdam that Max hasn’t learned to truly prioritize Helen outside of that but this season he’s definitely going to. The absence of Helen in his literal everyday work life with the combination of his overwhelming feelings will eventually lead to a wild pursuit. A pursuit to know her heart, her wants, her needs and most importantly a pursuit to be with her.

My last point is this! I’ve made some pretty bold predictions this season about where I see Max and Helen going. Again, I think something MASSIVE is on the horizon and I honestly still think that by the end of this season Max and Helen might very well be engaged!! I don’t know Fam they’re just giving me this vibe especially Max! Last night solidified to me that he is getting to a place where his feelings are beginning to overwhelm him. This brings me back to Mr. Darcy. I believe Mr. Darcy and Max are at the same emotional level when it comes to how they feel about their significant others. When it was to much to bare for Mr. Darcy not only did he declare his love for Elizabeth but he proposed. He literally went from 0-100. Though Elizabeth rejected his first proposal, he proposed again and the second time around they had both done the work that they needed to in order to understand each other better and realize that they loved each other. I can’t help but think of Darcy saying

“You have bewitched me body and soul and I love I love I love you. And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you.”

Is it just me or is Max acting a little bit like Helen has bewitched him body and soul? He’s all over the place when it comes to her lately and his body language has changed too! Did anyone else peep how closely Max and Helen were sitting next to each other? It was so intimate for a second I thought they were going to kiss or he was going to grab her hands. I don’t know it just screamed desire to me. Also, this ongoing theme were he tells her that he “can’t do this without her” or he’s grateful that “she’s here with him” to me is in the same light of Darcy telling Elizabeth that he never wants to be parted from her. From season two onwards Max has openly expressed wanting/needing Helen by his side. Now that we are in season 3, it seems like Max need for this has only gotten deeper. I make this comparison to say that the underlying vibe of how we are seeing Max and Helen unfold this season to me points to something incredibly tangible happening between them at season end.

The thing about Max and Helen is that yes, they are a slow burn but at the same time they’re also a 0-100 type of couple. I want to write another meta to explain this in detail but what I’ll say here is that if circumstances were different in season 1 and Max wasn’t married, Max and Helen would have probably been the type of couple who got married within a couple of months of knowing each other. Also, from my perspective, once Max and Helen finally let each other know how they really feel, it’s not going to be a thing where they’re just dating like with Cassian or Panthaki. It’s going to be like it’s a wrap, I’m all in, you are my person, this is it for me type thing. It’s going to be commitment! I feel like people forget but this show started in 2018. In September it will be four years since the show premiered. Granted COVID happened in 2020, but essentially Max and Helen have been doing this tango for awhile now. The expectation should be that we are finally going to see things come into fruition in a major way this season because that’s 1000% what I believe. Everything in my gut is telling me that the time is now and they are setting them up to do groundwork to heal so that they can rebuild together. A new chapter for them is on the horizon and I’m so excited about it!