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mirellapryce · 2 months ago

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My submission for DBDA Positivity Week is the essay I wrote for Queer Media Meetup. It's a spoiler free-ish breakdown of the show, what makes it queer, and why I loved it so much. It is my love letter to the show, and the writers, actors and creators who brought it all together <3

What is the title?

Dead Boy Detectives. Tragically it was cancelled after one season on Netflix, but you should watch that one season anyway.

What is it about?

It’s written on the tin. They’re ghosts, they’re teenage boys, they solve mysteries. They’re the Dead Boy Detective Agency.

Okay, it’s more than that, but we do start with our main boys Charles and Edwin who are ghosts that work together to help other ghosts resolve their “unfinished business” on Earth so that they can pass on to the afterlife. This is tricky sometimes, because they’re also avoiding being taken to their own afterlives by Death. As Charles describes them, Edwin is the brains, and Charles is the brawns of the operation and they’ve been working together for 30 years.Which brings us to our main plot. They receive a job to help out a ghost’s living friend, Crystal, who has been behaving strangely for a while. Crystal is psychic which is why she can see ghosts. It turns out that she’s been possessed by a demon, but when they remove the demon, her memories are also mysteriously gone. Charles says that she can stay with them until they come back. Edwin is less than pleased to have a new person thrown into his perfectly normal, codependent household (but he can’t say no to Charles). For plot reasons, Crystal convinces them to take on a case all the way in the US where the majority of the plot takes place as they solve various mysteries before they can go back home.

What makes it queer?

Charles sitting on any surface that is not a chair is peak bisexual behaviour.

Kidding (and while I would have loved that arc for him, he was busy this season working through his trauma and learning to be more honest about his feelings, so we will move on to the actual queer characters).

Edwin gets his own gay awakening and subsequent coming out. He’s a repressed Edwardian boy who was bullied for his queer behaviours in his day. That doesn’t stop him from behaving very queerly even after EVERYTHING HE’S BEEN THROUGH (my boy is king of the trauma Olympics), and we love that for him. Another potentially queer aspect that wasn’t really explored, but was brought up in the show is that all of his human disguises are female. If the show had gotten another season it might have been interesting to see how that particular gender expression applies to his personal feelings on his own gender. Alas, I can only fall back on tumblr meta and fanfiction for that. Despite being stiff and awkward, the next two queer men are both down bad for him.

Monty is a lot of spoilers all on his own, but he immediately develops a crush on Edwin, and one of our living girls, Niko encourages Edwin to pursue the relationship.

The Cat King…Uhhhhhh he’s hundreds of years old. He’s a shapeshifter. He is in fact a cat, who just sometimes looks human, so expect typical cat behaviour. He doesn’t have time for humans gendering their clothing. He will rock all of these skirts, thank you very much. And he will dress down to try and seduce the hot British twink.

Now onto our lesbians. We forgive Jenny for being a landlord, because she’s also a hot, goth butcher (and now I wonder if that pun was intended when they wrote her job), and she hates that she genuinely likes our two female leads (our Alive Girl Detectives, Crystal and Niko, as it were) and as the only adult she has taken it upon herself to take care of these kids whether she likes it or not.

Maxine is also a lot of spoilers, but we will say she’s the cute librarian, and through shenanigans and matchmaking she goes on a date with Jenny and they are super cute.

Why do you like it?

I am weak for the classic, red-blue, sunshine and grumpy ship dynamics with banter, and our leads absolutely provide that. Admittedly I was drawn into this show from the fandom first for Edwin and Charles’ relationship. All of our characters have interesting and varied relationships with each other, whether they are best friends, frienemies, autistic besties, or romantic rivals. And once again, you all know how much I love a found family, and I only wish we had more episodes to see more of that family unit be built.

It should also be noted that the whole cast is just very nice to look at. I should not be admiring Jayden Revri’s jawline as much as I am.

Niko doesn’t get her own queer or romantic arc, but I love her all the same. I want to give her a queer honourable mention, because she’s the one who first explains to Edwin that two guys can like each other romantically. She has manga about it if he needs evidence. She is me in high school, and I love that for her. She loves love and just wants her new gay bestie to be happy, and maybe to kiss Monty.

Important notes that I picked up from a review of this show before I even watched it that I actually really appreciate. 1) It is well lit. You can see what’s happening! I did not have to fight with the lighting settings to see faces or settings or to know what was going on! 2) It is an “R rated family show”. To elaborate, the show does not shy away from cursing or violence, but there are no awkward sex scenes that suddenly make you wish you were not watching this with friends or family around. It doesn’t unexpectedly turn into porn so it’s good wholesome fun you can watch anywhere.

Another part I enjoyed was how certain plots gave us breadcrumbs, so we could pick up on the plot twist before it happened. It was subtle enough to not feel forced, but then when you see it you can look back and shout about how it was a sign.

I don’t know how they did it, but somehow it is the perfect combination of lighthearted, campy shenanigans and funs times, while also respectfully addressing a lot of darker themes. There’s a man who used to be a walrus. There are themes of grief for both the living and the dead. The Cat King is so extra that he brought a chandelier into the woods just to impress a guy. They bring up how abuse can mess you up and that if you try to ignore it, it can come back to haunt you. There are tiny gods who heckle you with white suburban Karen energy. The show calls out abusive and stalker behaviours for what they are. The afterlife is a bureaucracy with very specific paperwork that needs to be filled out before you can do anything. Our main characters are ghosts, because both of them were murdered in their teens.

All of that and more in just 8 episodes.

#dbdapositivity #dead boy detectives #charles rowland #dbda #edwin payne #crystal palace #niko sasaki #monty the crow #jenny green

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cry-stars · 8 days ago

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Ohh, I'm interested in learning about your OCs since I haven't seen many posts about them right now..! If that isn't a bother, of course.

Aaah oh my goodness thank you so much!! :D I was big into my OCs a couple years ago on my blog, but I had to take a break for awhile. I’m starting to try to work on them again and focus on different aspects of them, so I really appreciate you asking!! It's never a bother at all, I'm just sorry it's such a long post dfkhjfddf

I have maybe ten OCs, and my friend has a lot more that are connected to mine! I’ll mostly just talk about the two OCs on my recent reblog, Pearl and Valeryia, and mention some of Pearl's family too. I’m hoping to make a yuri-adjacent visual novel about them (was trying to make it for yuri jam this fall but depression stopped me sigh).

Pearl Caine would be the main character of this VN. Pearl is around 25 years old at the time of the story (as of now). She’s bigender (he/she; i just use she/her in this writeup but he/him will get used sometimes too when I write the story) and some mix of sapphic and aroace, which will be one of the main tensions of the “yuri” in this VN, as she’s mostly unable to reciprocate the other character Valeryia’s interest in her, but still has an interesting (I hope) sapphic tension with her.

I don't have a picture of Valeryia yet, since I haven't been able to draw this year and she was only invented this year, but this picture from the yuri series "Destroy it All and Love Me in Hell!" inspired me a ton, both for Val's appearance and for she and Pearl's dynamic. Pearl would be the one on the right and Valeryia on the left.

I imagine Val looking a lot like this, plus a bit like Amy from the yuri "I love Amy." I really love "twink" butch characters, but they are so rare, so I wanted to write a story with two different flavours of twink butch. Val's the more slobby greasy type while Pearl is more pastel-formal.

Pearl! art by my friend @siekko (he draws a lot of my OCs as well as his own!! Please check out his blog if you want!)

Pearl is extremely cold, “emotionless,” mostly expressionless, but has a burning anger and jealousy inside her that escapes in violent and destructive ways. She is extremely attached to her brother Onyx (designed to look almost like her twin, but is actually older). The two of them were orphaned when Onyx was an older teenager and Pearl was a pre-teen, also losing their unborn sibling when their parents suddenly died. Onyx took on the parenting role, but was also very underprepared for this role since he was just a teenager. The two lived a mostly happy life with just the two of them for years, and Pearl was perfectly content with this life. She thought Onyx was content too.

(Onyx on the left and Pearl on the right; I drew this one myself based on that jotchua meme dfjhkdffd)

Secretly though, Onyx had been hiding any outward signs of neediness or trauma. As the older brother, he thought he had to bottle up all signs of grief for Pearl’s sake, and always put on a happy smile and never showed any discontent for the life they lived. He was really emotionally needy though, and one day, when a beautiful lady waltzed into his life and was willing to listen to him trauma dump, he instantly fell in love with her, married her, and had a baby. Everything changed for Pearl within months, and she resented her sister in law so much.

Everything became worse when the sister in law (currently named Brianna) suddenly disappeared one day. Onyx became so depressed that he couldn't do anything, leaving Pearl to care for her niece that she never wanted. Pearl hated Brianna more than anything, blaming her for her peaceful life with just her brother disappearing. Even now that Brianna is gone, there’s still the niece to deal with and take care of.

Pearl is an actually insane little freak and decides to go on a quest for revenge. Find Brianna and bring her back to fix Onyx, or if Brianna refuses to come back, kill her.

Pearl doesn’t know that Brianna is literally an inhuman monster. One that Valeryia, smarmy greasy monster hunter extraordinaire, has had on her bounty list for years. On Pearl’s journey, she encounters Val, and the two (reluctantly on Pearl’s part) decide to work together to find their shared target.

I’m a bit worried that Pearl will come across as a brocon DFJHKFDJ (and yeah i know she is but platonically…) but that really isn't my intent... the main thing i want to focus on is just… her desire for her lost childhood to return. The peaceful days where everything seemed simple, her big brother was always there to protect her and play with her. There was supposed to be a third sibling, and I think baby CJ (Onyx and Brianna’s daughter) brings back resurfaced trauma.

Pearl thinks killing Brianna will fix everything, but as she travels she realizes that she’s chasing a lost dream. And realizing that maybe not even her cherished brother was happy in that childhood dream. Realizing how small her little world really was, and maybe it’s time to grow up… but the grown up world has no room for her. It's supposed to be a journey of growing up and finding a life of her own outside of her little family.

Meanwhile… I don’t have as much for Val developed yet, she’s only existed for a few months while Pearl has existed for a few years. She's a daring and brash masochist who can take on any job and enjoy the danger; seeming to know no fear. She's a shameless flirt and loves trying to get a reaction out of Pearl, who rarely makes any faces beyond a blank stare. Eventually, she starts even doing things like confessing love for Pearl; she laughs and thinks it's so funny being rejected by Pearl every time she “jokingly” confesses to her. But the more she travels with Pearl, the more she actually cares about this weirdo and the more it hurts when Pearl brushes her off. At the same time, she finds that it's a pain that she's willing to bear, that she can enjoy it if it's Pearl doing it...

I think Val's masochism is partly a big dose of copium for her. She's used to being hurt and brushed off, and even beaten up and treated really badly. She was able to weaponize it as a part of her job, but there's a reason why she spends most of her time out in the wilderness hunting monsters instead of around other people. She lets Pearl in by accident, but doesn't regret it despite the immense emotional pain their relationship causes. Getting rejected over and over hurts... and yet it's proof of still being alive. Of still being able to feel.

It's not going to be a traditionally happy or requited yuri story, but I'm on the fence about whether they come to an understanding or not. I could see Pearl as being stone butch and willing to show some affection but not willing to really receive any. But at the same time, I do like tragedy and unrequited feelings so who knows? Either way, I really like aroaspec romance (if that makes any sense?). I also have different AUs for different characters and like putting them in different situations, so I could have multiple stories for them (I do have a different story for Pearl not involving Val as well in collaboration with my friend, but I'll leave that for another post maybe).

Onyx has his own story too, as does his daughter. CJ (the daughter) was my first of all these characters. Both of them are clingy disaster bi characters. CJ is a spoiled brat who still acts like a teenager at age 30, but eventually learns to open up and care about others (a robot girl named lumi who she adopts as her daughter, phantom thief boy johann nimchuk who she has a rivals to lovers with, johann’s brothers that she learns to see as family too, and her bodyguard/best friend. as well as repairing her relationship with her dad :)

Meanwhile Onyx recovers from being ditched by his ex-wife by having toxic old man rivals to friends to lovers slow burn yaoi for 10 years with his business partner who is trying to steal the business from him FDHKJFDFD but Onyx is too blind/stupid to see it (one of the only complete stories i’ve ever written!)

Above pictures from left to right are CJ (Onyx's daughter/Pearl's niece), Lumi (robot Daughter), Yaoi (my friend's character Shirley + Onyx), and more sibling shenanigans (Pearl and Onyx). I posted lots of old art partly to motivate me so I can draw again dfhjkfdfd I haven't drawn in a year... I have a lot of feels about my Caine family as well as other OC families I could talk about!! (like the thief bros! and the Khora family). But I just wanted to keep it focused on the people that you were curious about in the ask.

#i'm so sorry for how long this is fdhkjfddf #my ocs #pearl caine #onyx caine #cj caine #valeryia #she doesn't have a last name yet #i have some other stuff for my ocs in their name tags on my blog #so if you are interested feel free to look :)#thank you so much for asking!!

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dadddybangtan · 8 months ago

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Metanoia | ch. one

cw: strong language, drVg use

word count: 1.6k

a.n. this story is a couple of years old and i wanted to share it. please enjoy and leave feedback <3

Table of Contents Next

I feel gross but not necessarily uncomfortable. I'm used to it now. Leaving that poor- or should I say rich- guy drugged out in his penthouse is wrong. But so is kicking your gay, sixteen year old son out on the streets with nothing but a school backpack and a handful of cash.

I leave his house with my jacket and pants pockets stuffed with my date's trinkets. I walk a bit down the road to find my boyfriend's car. He stole an uber sticker from an old victim of ours so his outdated car isn't suspicious next to the nice ones in this neighborhood. I get in the backseat and we drive off. I wait until we're on the freeway back to our place to climb to the front seat.

"Get anything good?" Taehyung asks, his baritone voice luring me to the front seat with him.

"I guess. A few watches. Some expensive looking necklaces that were probably left over from his female hookups." I say before pulling out an emerald studded necklace from my jacket pocket. "I'm convinced we scammed all the rich fags in Gangnam."

"If all the rich fags are hit, what do we do then?" He asked.

"Not sure. Probably find real jobs." I shrugged. But real jobs don't pay the bills.

I look out the window and see the city lights twinkle. I take in the brights like a photograph before we get to our side of town. It's dark and gloomy where we live. The streets are littered, the buildings are old. It's ugly, but it's home. It's like Gotham and we're driving past Metropolis.

Our goal is to be right there in Seoul working normal jobs and earning normal money living normal lives as abnormal homosexuals. Living as "roommates" until gay marriage is legalized. If it is in our life time.

Perhaps it's not right to swipe from our own kind, faggots. Every time my stupid brain tries to make me feel bad about it, I remember something Taehyung told me when we were both high as the heavens: There's a difference between poor gays and rich gays. Steal time from your poor gays and steal shit from the rich gay's closet.

"I say we make a new target." I propose, looking away from the window once I recognize our freeway exit. There's nothing to look at anymore

"Oh, yeah?" His deep voice asks. I can't tell if he's genuinely interested or not.

"Women..." I say, carefully, waiting for a response. He just cocks an eyebrow at the idea. Judging. "I know it's shitty. But you're hot and bi. I think you could do it."

That's a bold faced lie. I don't think he could do it, he's just the only one out of us that's up for consideration.

"Me," He scoffs, "Jimin, I don't know if you noticed but I'm the getaway driver. I don't do anything. Why can't you do it?"

"I'm a five foot eight twink, babe. I'm not exactly ladies choice."

He focuses on the road. I notice his hands grip the steering wheel a little tighter. His veins pop making me flinch. The mere thought stresses him out.

"You're serious?"

"What other choice do we have?"

His veins pop again. They travel up his arms through his neck. I catch him pinching his lips together and clenching his jaw. He's thinking too hard, stressing himself out.

We don't need this right now. The more stressed he is, the more money we spend. And with our drought, I fear we don't have enough wiggle room for his stress reliever of choice.

"I don't know how I feel about it." He says lowly, so low I could barely hear him.

I exhale through my nose and refocus my gaze out the window. I regret it immediately. It's like Gotham and I mean it. Except there's no Batman to help the poor women from getting violently mugged by that man. No one to stop the very obvious drug exchanges between an old dealer and a scrawny teenager.

"What we do isn't easy," In fact it's probably the toughest job out of our lowlife neighbors, "I know it's hard. I've been doing it for over a year. I did everything I could. Milked them dry, Taehyung."

"We could try another district." He says frantically while licking his lips. Meaning he knows how stupid that was to say. There are no other districts.

"Do you wanna go back to selling coke," I ask as I turn back to him, "Hm? Getting harassed by crackheads who don't have the money. Working all day and all night and only getting thirty percent of the profit?"

He blinks at the road, jaw quivering with realization.

"Or do you wanna spike a drink and get a fucking bag? Work for yourself and keep your money?"

That was a tactical approach to his sensitivity, which I normally don't resort to. Taehyung is sensitive and I usually try dealing with his emotions rationally. However, when it comes to our work, our money, our stability, I get hostile. I'm protective over our security because we have so little of it. I cut corners to keep it. And he might be mad at me for being so harsh and bringing up his old job, but he'll thank me later.

"This better work."

I don't blame him for masking an agreement with a threat. I just accept it and watch him drive. Count how many times he taps his finger on the wheel before we make it home.

Thirty-seven.

Our apartment is small with no room for furniture. I don't mind it though, I've tricked myself into calling it minimalistic instead of cheap shit. I plop down the the couch, that a million people must've plopped on. We picked it up from the side of the road since it was still in decent shape. It's trash but it's ours now and there's comfort in it.

Taehyung comes in not too far behind me and falls next to me. He throws his head back and exposes his neck. He looks just as exhausted as me, maybe even more. His head turns to me, eyes low, lips spreading into a sly smile.

"Wanna get high?" His groggy voice hums.

"Not tonight, Tae."

"Oh, come on, you never wanna do it anymore," He whines, smile still present, trying to disguise his peer pressure with cuteness. It used to work well, I used to fold, "Just a little bit."

"Babe, I really don't want to." I mean it. I hate drugs. Hard drugs make me fucking sick.

He turns his head back and stares at the ceiling. I stare too and wonder how those stains got there. There's one that looks like a kitten, it's the closest thing to a domesticated pet I can get in the shit neighborhood. Again, it's trash, but it's mine.

"Wanna stick it?"

I'm supposed to be mad, stay upset, but my lips curl up against my will. Not because I love poking him, but because it's cute, the way he says it. Stick it.

I push myself off the couch and go to the kitchen pantry. It's small too, like everything else, and embarrassingly empty. We have to be the only people who keep their drugs in the cabinet where bread and chips are supposed to be. It's pathetic but it's ours.

So I grab the bag of small white tablets, the syringe, the spoon with the burnt bottom and translucent blue lighter. I push out a tired sigh. I meet Taehyung back on the couch and light a white candle. That's the only nice thing in this place. A thirty dollar candle that I just had to get because it smells like the fancy hotel my parents took me too when I was eight. Eucalyptus sage. It's just a scented memory, but it's mine.

"I love you," He says, making me jump at the sudden speech, "You know that?"

He likes when I melt it over a single candle-lit flame. Makes him feel like I'm cooking for him. At least that's what he told me last time I did it.

"Yeah," I gush, watching it boil down, "I love you too."

He just smiles and let's the top row of his teeth peak behind his heart shaped smile, hiding his eyes behind his eyelids. When he opens his eyes fully, it's when the needle is ready. I kneel on the floor in front of him, grab his hand and push his sleeve up. There's a deep brown mark right there on the crook of his elbow.

I can't lallygag and stare at the horrid thing all night. I'll just remind myself of how much I don't want to do it. He clenches his fist, making his veins pop, and I put the needle right in the middle of the mark. I can't lallygag, but I can't miss. One millimeter off could kill him. I look him in the eyes so I don't have to watch it disappear into his pale arm. They close peacefully as he inhales and exhales.

"Better?"

"Yeah, baby."

Taehyung doesn't say much beyond that. Not even 'thank you,' but I know he appreciates it. I clean up while he unwinds. Before I sneak off into our tiny, lifeless bedroom, I take him in one last time. His cheeks are more sunken than last week and his dark circles are more apparent. He's still beautiful. Beautifully broken. An addict, but he's mine.

I lean over the coffee table to give him one last kiss. He smiles his chapped lips into a dazed grin, eyes still shut and body too limp to return the favor. Heroin is one hell of a drug. I'm surprised I can resist.

#dadddybangtan #kpop fanfiction #bts angst #bts fanfic #kpop fanfic

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diangelodork · 2 months ago

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HERE ARE MY FRIEND (louis)’S COMMENTS ON E2!!!

Dead Boy Detectives Episode 2:

Wait why did Edwin like that pig diagram so much

Didn’t realize we were in Washington

OMG CAT KING IS HE GON BE CHUBBY PLEASE MAKE HIM CHUBBY

never mind twink

(Gaelic twink???)

Cat sex dungeon is terrible wth

Best friends my ass Edwin

Nope don’t like where this is going but HOLY JESUS HE GOT THAT MMHMM

Don’t do it Eddie

Piss and balls and shit damnit

Sex pest sex pest sex pest cat king is such a sex pest name

Yeah you better be

I wanna be that mail man

The lesbian sparkles that kill you instantly (lavender scare type shit)

WALRUS MENTIONED

Stop interrupting the walrus damnit I wanna hear this

To be a old man human walrus who owns a traveling boat magic shop thing giving weary travelers little magical trinkets

so much anime holy shit

Nose bleeding, sweating, nervous, colors im the air, me at the function af

TECHNICOLOR MANIC PIXIE DEMON GIRL!?!?!

She crushing? She just shy? Gay??? Demon possession or some shit???

JUST GIVE HIM THE BOOKS

Niko… parasite 😖 ew ew ew

Are you talking to her while she’s in the shower???

Ok she not actually showering ok

Love the aesthetic but y’all are not teenagers

Awwwww

EWWWWW GOD GET THAT GIRL SOME HELP HOLY SHIT

are you insane with the smile lmao

this poor girl wtf

😬

the afterlife looks like the TVA from Loki

Hypothermia, internal bleeding, pending, froze to death after being injured?

What. Does. Hell. Look. Like????

Why are children so important

Two Nancy lads mucking bout the woods (British)

OMG WHAT THE FUCKING TINY- WHAT

aye job jobbed

Damn absolutely mid pick up line would work on me

OMG NEW ADDITION TO THE CREW???

“Oh no I’m not gonna do it I just thought about it” real

MORE GHOSTS EEEEEEEEEE

YOU TURNED HIM INTO A TWINK

THE TWINKIFICATION RATES IN THIS SHOW ARE OFF THE CHARTS

+bonus

(for context, i sent him a nine minute long voice memo commenting on all of his comments and telling him what the fandom feels without spoiling 🙏🙏)

GUYS I ANNOYED ONE OF MY FRIENDS WNOUGH TO WATCH DBDA!! im gonna be posting his live updates in the reblogs HEHEHEHEHE (the score is what got him to cave 👹)

#i forced my friend to watch dbda!#dead boy detective agency #dead boy detectives #dbda #save dbda #we will save this show #savedeadboydetectives #save dead boy detectives #renew dead boy detectives #revive dead boy detectives

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englishknightsky · 3 years ago

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Thomas: Honey the news just said teenagers under the influence of drugs aren't happy, vibrant or involved! Do you think Craig-

Laura: Thomas, Craig has never been happy, vibrant or involved.

Thomas: Oh, right.

Eric: Look, these are the shelves I was talking about.

Kyle: Are those the same shelves from that Nazi's house? You want Nazi shelves?

Eric: No, if anything those shelves were Nazi-occupied.

Stan: I finished the memorial for Pip.

Kyle: One problem, you misspelled both his first and last name.

Stan:... Eh, he's dead, he's not gonna notice.

Clyde: Tweek's new boyfriend is a secret, that means he's ugly.

Craig: Asshole! I'm Tweek's new boyfriend!

Token: Guess you were right, Clyde.

Richard: I quit using meth for good, now I'm only using it for evil!

Craig: Where are my pants?

Tweek: You threw them out of the window in a fit of passion. You said you were never gonna need them again.

Kenny: My medical alert bracelet warns first responders that I kiss back during CPR.

Damien: Aw, were you beaten as a kid?

Pip: Yeah...

Damien: Well you're still annoying, so clearly they didn't hit you enough.

Cartman: I get my snack ideas from 600lb Life, those people have some bomb ideas for dinner.

Kenny McCormick added Wendy Testaburger, Bebe Stevens, and 23 others to a group chat.

Kenny: Damn girl you look fine

Kenny: Wow they ain't send separately

Kenny: Bye

Kenny McCormick left

Timmy: Did you just call yourself a Nintendo console?

Jimmy: No, that's a Nintendo Switch, I called myself a crippled bi-biii-bitc- bitch!

Tweek: Do you wanna get married?

Craig: Well, we're already engaged so yeah.

Tweek: In Stardew Valley, you goof.

Craig: Oh! Yeah.

Tweek: Dad, will you read to me?

Richard: Who the hell are you?

Mars: Dads, I'm supposed to fight some kid at school tomorrow.

Tweek: Oh god.

Craig: Try to not to fall in love with them.

Clyde: See Token, I told you they could deep fry my shirt!

Token: I didn't say they couldn't, I said you shouldn't.

Craig: I need some space.

Tweek:

Tweek: Are you breaking up with me?

Craig: No, I'm falling off the bed, move over!

Stan: Check out this animal, it's called a kinkajou.

Cartman: A kinky jew? Where?!

Craig: Um, so. Stripe got outside, but luckily we caught him. Points camera at Stripe in his cage But if that's Stripe... who the fuck is this? Points camera at Tweek holding an identical guinea pig.

Kenny: Once I was jogging and found a corspe, and I was glad, because that meant I could stop jogging.

Pip: My nickname is Pip.

Damien: What's Pip short for?

Eric: 'Cause he's a twink.

Butters: Hi can I have a happy meal with extra happy, please? :)

Kyle: No, you hang up first!

Cartman : No you hang up first!

Kyle: Okay.

Cartman:... He hung up on me!

Jimmy: Is that why you opened a cafe? To get people to like you?

Tweek: You want to talk about getting people to like you, funny man?

Stan: Agent Raven approaching the site, operation 'sleepy time' commencing, over.

Wendy: Stan, stop playing with the baby monitor. Over.

Token: Craig, got any cleaning tips?

Craig: Never fall in love, have any friends or pets or family, then they won't make a mess.

Craig: Good morning babe.

Tweek: Die.

Craig: I got you a triple espresso, but I'm gonna hold it just out of reach so you have to get up if you want it.

Tweek: Die twice.

Butters: Well, it doesn't have a tail so I'm pretty sure it's a hamster.

Tech Support: Okay fine, right click the hamster.

Jason: So is this thing between Tweek and Craig a secret?

Token: Hardly. The only people who don't know that Tweek and Craig are in love with each other are Tweek and Craig.

Mr. Mackey: I heard children screaming, and as a counsellor I know that screaming can be a cry for help.

Tweek: Do you think Clyde will like the new cookies?

Craig: He'll eat anything you put in front of him. He's like a dog.

Tweek: Hm, that's true. I saw him eat a receipt once.

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mischiefandspirits · 3 years ago

Text

Bernard Figures It Out

Was reading through all the comments on @frostbittenbucky's post and all I could think of was that it was Bernard talking to Tim. Then I got to thinking...

"I've connected the two dots."

"You didn't connect shit."

"I've connected them."

Bernard figures out Tim's a superhero... sort of.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim fidgetted nervously as he waited on the front porch of his boyfriend’s house. Bernard had sounded so serious when he’d called during Tim’s lunch to ask him to come over after work so they could talk about something.

Which Tim had done, after spending an entire board meeting just going over the past week trying to figure out what he’d done.

The only thing he could think of was that he’d ducked out halfway through their lunch date on Wednesday to give Duke some backup, but Bernard had seemed understanding when Tim explained there was an emergency at GRC Labs. It couldn’t have been a tipping point, either, since Tim had managed to only flake on three other dates over the past few months they’d been dating. Kate had been happy to cover for him as often as she could “out of queer solidarity” when she found out Tim was dating a boy for the first time and Tim had managed to trick Bruce into covering a few actual Wayne Enterprises emergencies for him when they came up.

There had to be a reason Bernard was breaking up with him, though. Had he missed something? He definitely wasn’t forgetting an important day. He was good with days and Tam was even better, so she would have reminded him on the off chance that he had forgotten.

What was he missing?

Bernard was smiling when he opened the door, but there was a nervous energy to it that had Tim’s stomach sinking. “Hey, Tim.”

“Hey.” Tim gave his own nervous smile then slipped inside.

They went into the living room and sat down on the couch.

Tim frowned when Bernard grabbed a manila folder off the coffee table. Crud, had he screwed up enough that Bernard had had to make a list? He knew he was new to dating a guy, but he hadn’t thought he’d done that bad. He’d really been trying, especially with how his and Stephanie’s relationship had fallen apart at the end. “What -”

“Just let me speak, Tim,” Bernard said, waiting for Tim’s nod. “Okay, so you know Clark Kent, right?”

Tim blinked as Bernard opened the folder to show a picture of Clark. It looked like one of the employee pictures from the Planet’s website, with his dorky “I’m just a humble country boy” smile and the golden globe from their roof photoshopped in as the background. “Uh, yeah? I think so. He works for the Daily Planet, right? I think he’s worked at a few of Bruce’s events. Not a lot of outside reporters are willing to come to Gotham.”

“Exactly!” Bernard said, snapping his fingers and pointing at Tim.

“What?”

He pulled out the picture to show the next page was an article titled, “DAILY PLANET REPORTER… BATMAN!?”

A wave of relief washed over Tim and he placed his face in his hands. “Were you up all night on the hero conspiracy boards again?”

“No. I mean, I found this on a board and was up all night thinking about it, but I found it reasonably early.”

“One in the morning isn’t reasonable, Bernard.”

“Says the guy who’s always wide awake when I call to infodump.”

“Touché.” Tim leaned against Bernard and gave him a smile. “So tell me, why is some reporter from Metropolis from all places Batman.”

“First of all, living in Metropolis is the perfect cover. Everyone assumes Batman would live in Gotham, no one would consider he could be from anywhere else. Metropolis is outside the GMA, but close enough that the commute is still possible.”

“But it’s Metropolis.”

“And who would think Gotham’s Dark Knight lives in the sunshine capital? Plus, I hear he disappears a lot on the job. There’s gotta be a reason for it!”

Tim made a note to let Clark know he needs to cut back on the disappearing act some since people are catching on.

“And have you seen the guy? He is swol AF, babe.”

“Please don’t call me babe while you’re talking about how hot another guy is.” Especially Tim’s honorary uncle.

“You know I prefer twinks.”

“BERNARD!”

“I’m just saying,” he continued, ignoring Tim’s shout. “The guy is definitely hiding something! Besides, Kent is an investigative reporter. He’s gotta know a lot about cases and the underground and detective work.”

Not as much as he likes people to think, but more than he likes people to know Superman does, Tim mused. “But what about the other vigilantes?”

“Well, Kent has a cousin…” Bernard flipped through a folder and pulled out a picture of Kara. It looked like a screenshot of her interviewing Lena for CatCo. “She’s obviously the latest Batgirl. Look at her hair. And the first Batgirl and the current Batwoman were obviously Lois Lane, the red hair is just a wig. Did you see how she kicked butt at that last event she went to? She’s not as subtle as Kent. That means their son is the latest Robin. He’s exactly the right size.”

Oh, Damian better not hear about this, Tim cackled internally. His youngest brother hated being reminded that Jon was the same height as him despite their two years age difference. Damian definitely took after Talia when it came to body type, no matter what he said.

“And Kent also has a brother.” This time he pulled out a picture of Kon. The clone must have been caught by a reporter out shopping with Ma since he was carrying some paper bags and glaring at whoever was behind the camera. “At least, he’s supposedly Kent’s brother, but he was a teenager when he first showed up with the Kents. A lot of people think he’s actually Kent’s son, that Kent got a girl pregnant when they were teenagers and something happened to the mom so Kent had to take him in. Now the Kents are trying to hide it by saying the two are brothers.”

That was… scarily accurate actually. Especially given Luthor and Clark were close friends at the time that Kon would have theoretically been born.

“And that beef would explain why the younger Kent brother went all crime lord on Gotham for a while before reconnecting with the family.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, Kent Jr.’s got the perfect build for Red Hood.”

Tim bit back a comment on how Kon was shorter than Jason by a good foot. Timothy Drake-Wayne should not know that. Add Jason to the list of people who can’t hear this theory.

“And then there’s this girl,” Bernard picked up a picture of Lois, Jon, and Natasha Irons walking down the street together. “No one’s sure exactly who she is, but she’s been spotted with the Kents a few times. I think the cover story is that she’s Jon’s babysitter.”

“And the actual story?”

“She’s Black Bat, obviously. That’s why she wears a mask that fully covers her face. She doesn’t want to stand out as the only African American Bat.”

“Isn’t Signal also Black?”

“Yeah, but he works in the daytime so he’s already a standout.”

“And who is Signal in this? And what about Nightwing and Red Robin?”

“Well, Nightwing’s just a Blüd who came to Gotham. He doesn’t count.”

Ouch. Sorry, Dick.

“And Red Robin is obviously an older Robin, the one who was Robin when we were kids. Kent wanted to keep him on, and I don’t blame him. As for Signal, he’s got the same backstory as all the other Robins Kent picked up, he just went the Signal route because he didn’t fit the usual Robin mold.”

“Because the female Robin fit the mold,” Tim snorted. Robin Mold, as if he and his brothers were even the same ethnicity. Or even had the same hair color. Jason dyes his hair, Dick’s is brown-black, Tim’s is pure black, and Damian’s is more a dark brown and it’s only getting lighter as he gets older.

“She didn’t, that’s the point. Kent tried to give breaking the Robin mold a chance by letting his cousin have a go at it, but he realized it just didn’t work so she went back to being Spoiler and he got a new Robin.”

Not touching that with a ten-foot pole. “Right, and where does he get the usual Robins? Please tell me you’re not back on the secret government orphanages theory.”

“No, no, no. Kent travels sometimes for his job, right? And a lot of the time he’s going to places that have been hit by disasters or major crimes. So he’ll take in some of the displaced children to train as his robins.”

Tim pressed his face back into his hands.

“You see it, right?”

Honestly, Tim was just wondering how his boyfriend could be so close, and yet so far off. “How would Kent even afford taking care of a bunch of secret -- possibly illegally acquired -- children without anyone noticing?”

“Simple. Bruce Wayne is funding him.”

“Bernard, I love you, but what the heck?” Tim blushed and looked up as he realized what he’d said, but Bernard didn’t seem to notice as he steamrolled ahead.

“It’d also explain how he can afford all the gear and how he’d be able to travel to Gotham or anywhere else Batman goes without anyone noticing. He probably has a secret Batplane or something.”

“Why would Bruce do that?”

“Because Wayne cares about Gotham, everyone knows that, and this way he can make sure someone’s taking care of the city without anyone putting two and two together.”

“And two plus two is?”

Bernard gave him a hard look. “I’m not stupid, Tim. Bruce Wayne is obviously Superman. His face is right there.”

Oh, the others are going to love this! Too bad I can’t tell Damian or Jason. Jason especially would have loved this. “Right. Bruce is Superman.”

“He is. Superman is known for being nice and Bruce Wayne’s basically all that’s keeping the city running at this point. That’s nice as hell.”

Oh my god.

“And Wayne does charity for the victims of cataclysms, doesn't he? I bet he first saves people from them as Superman and then builds them new homes for free.”

Oh my god! Why am I not recording this!?

“And the Wayne’s were rich enough to hide the fact they adopted an alien baby.”

Tim raised an eyebrow. “If you’re about to tell me this is why Bruce’s parents got killed, you might want to stop while you’re ahead.”

“It’d make sense. There’re all sorts of unanswered questions about their deaths,” Bernard muttered under his breath, flipping through the folder. He pulled out another picture of Kara. This time she was in full Supergirl attire with a bus held overhead. “So if Wayne is Superman, then that’d mean your ex-girlfriend could be Supergirl. They look a lot alike and it’d explain how she got involved with you all.”

“Bernard, she has a human dad. You know, Cluemaster. The supervillain.”

“Yeah, her dad. But we don’t know anything about her mom!”

“Let me guess…”

Bernard pulled out a picture of Karen. She and Helena were suited up and talking to a group of cops, two goons held over each of Karen’s shoulders. “Her mom could be Power Girl! Some makeup and a wig and she could look just like Crystal Brown! And Damian Wayne is obviously the new Superboy! That’s why his background is such a mystery, right? He had to stay a secret until he could control his alien superpowers. That’s why he’s always so mean. It’s a cover since everyone knows Superboy is super sweet!”

Sure, when he’s not helping Damian pull pranks or using his adorable powers to put the blame on Kon and I. “No, Bernard. Damian and Steph are just very human hellspawn. And Bruce and Crystal are human too. I can’t believe you called me over here just to tell me you think Superman is both Batman’s sugar daddy and my adoptive dad.”

“Well, that’s not exactly why I called you over,” Bernard admitted, the nervous energy coming back. He grabbed Tim’s hands. “Tim -”

Tim’s stomach sank. “You are breaking up with me!”

“What? No! I don’t want to break up!”

“Why are you acting all nervous and serious then!?” Tim asked, pulling his hands away to throw them up in the air.

Bernard shook the folder. “Because I’m trying to tell you I figured out you’re Superboy!”

Tim’s brain blue-screened and his hands slowly dropped. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I know you’re Superboy. The older one, obviously. By the way, you and Damian really need to figure out separate names.”

Forget Jason and Damian, Kon can never find out about this. He’d never let me live it down. “Bernard, you called me a twink five minutes ago. Su-” Shoot, I can not risk getting Kon’s attention! “The older one might not be as big as Superman, but he’s not a twink.”

“Well, yeah, that’s the shapeshifting at work.”

“The what?”

“Obviously you Kryptonians can shapeshift. Why else would you look so much like humans?”

… Why do Kryptonians look so much like humans? Was there some - Wait, no! Break into the Fortress of Solitude for research later! Reassure your boyfriend that you’re not an alien now! “Bernard -”

“And that explains why your step-mom was so hot.”

“Gross.”

“She and your dad were actors hired by Luthor so you could have a normal life! But now Bruce has custody so he adopted you.”

“No.”

“That’s why you and your dad were so weird with each other when I met him.”

“We were weird because he’d just gotten out of a coma not long before to find that his wife was dead so he decided to actually be a dad for once in his life, but overcompensated and became a helicopter parent to a kid who was mostly on his own for his entire life!” Tim blurted out. “I am not an alien, Bernard!”

“Well, not technically since you were cloned from Superman on Earth.”

“Oh my god! You were just talking about Steph being Supergirl! Why would I date my dad’s cousin?”

Bernard blinked. “Supergirl and Superman are cousins?”

Right, Timothy Drake-Wayne wasn’t supposed to know that. “I thought they’d said something like that before, yeah. Are people seriously saying I’m Superboy on the internet?”

“NO! No, I swear I would have led with that if I thought your identity was compromised. A few people have mentioned Wayne and Damian, but not you or Steph or Jason.”

“Wh-Jason!? You think Jason was an alien too!”

“No, not exactly, but a few times when I’ve visited I swear I’ve seen a guy in the manor who looks like Jason. It’s just been out of the corner of my eye and he’s gone whenever I look so I’ve always thought it was just Dick or Bruce or some picture of Jason that my mind was playing tricks with, but it makes sense now that I know Wayne is Superman. He must have been able to heal Jason with alien tech, but couldn’t say anything because that would give away that he’s Superman.”

Damn it Jason! And damn it Bernard! I’m dating the smartest moron in the world! “Bruce did not bring Jason back with alien technology and none of us are aliens!”

“It’s okay, Tim. I won’t tell anyone.”

Tim grabbed Bernard by the jacket and pulled him into a kiss. When he started to feel lightheaded, he pulled back, “Could someone whose skin is as solid as stone kiss like that?”

Bernard blinked dazedly at him for a moment. “How do you know what Superboy’s skin feels like?”

Tim screamed internally. “He’s saved me from a kidnapping before.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I can get you the police report if you want.”

“Huh… And the others?”

“Not Supers. I can stab Damian the next time we’re at the manor if that’ll prove none of us are aliens.” He’d rather stab Jason, but that would probably only confirm to Bernard that Bruce used alien technology to bring him back.

“You probably shouldn’t stab your brother if he isn’t an alien.”

Tim rolled his eyes. “I won’t stab him anywhere deadly.”

“That’s not the point,” Bernard said slowly.

“He’ll be fine.”

“If you say so.”

“So do you believe I’m not an alien now?” Tim huffed, letting go of Bernard’s jacket.

The blond’s eyes dipped down to Tim’s lips. “If I say no, will you kiss me like that again?”

“You’re ridiculous,” Tim said, but he kissed him anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay, but I still say Clark Kent is definitely Batman.”

“Sure, Bernard.”

#Tim Drake #robin #red robin #bernard dowd #timber #fanfiction

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cooloddball · 4 years ago

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This is going to be a super long analysis of jib3 starting with the opening ceremony to the closing ceremony so brace yourselves.

Please note I believe in the breakup theory so maybe my opinion in this one might be biased so please don’t come for me, lol.

I will put it under the cut to avoid overcrowding your dashes with cockles shenanigans.

Also, watch out for profanities and mature language.

And so it begins...

Opening ceremony

The camera used to record the opening ceremony is shaky.

Misha, Jason Manns, and Jarpad seem to be having a lot of fun together and Jensen is just looking at his besties talking to the man he loves and he knows he can’t have that so he just stands there looking at them. Poor guy.

Jarpad asks who took Misha’s riffle? Things are awkward, I honestly don’t know what’s going on.

Misha kisses a plushie while making eye contact with Jensen and Jensen is like “oh, oh, wow” while making eye contact with Misha. LOL. Jack help me. This is a lot!!!

Jensen takes a plushie from Sebastian and Jared takes the one Misha had.

Are you guys flirting about trying to see whether you can keep plushies alive?

Misha throws something at the fans, I think he was throwing treats from earlier or whatever it was and Jensen says “Misha is still throwing” I mean why?

Cockles Panel

Jensen is so extra in this panel.

First of all, when he and Misha come out (no pun intended) a song starts playing and he starts dancing. Jensen is usually so poised while dancing but he is over the top throwing his back and shaking his tush for the mish. I think he was trying a little too hard. Misha spares his ex-boyfriend’s tush a glance smiles and looks away. LOL. The whole thing was cringey, tbh. It was so unlike Jensen.

When Sebastian touches Jensen’s shoulder and says something to Jensen, he [Jensen] laughs way too hard. I would say he laughs abnormally-it’s loud and he throws his whole body into it like he’s trying to prove what Sebastian was funny and it probably wasn’t. He laughs so hard he ends up right on Misha’s side. and Misha laughs at that though.

Rich says something about something in the sac that hurts(It’s incoherent) and Jensen says it hurts right here pointing at his heart (I can’t hear what they are saying exactly so if anyone knows please let me know)

I don’t know if Mark P. was going to hug Jensen or not or he was pointing at something behind Jensen, but at that moment, Jensen sees Sebastian going to hug Misha and whips his head away from Mark P’s direction so fast he almost broke his neck.

Sebastian humps Misha (these two are so playful I love them) and Jensen is just there acting awkward

There’s a comment by Rich about “It’s over, the convention’s over I’m no longer your bitch” I don’t know who this is about.

Now, now, now. This whole time Rich is doing a kissy mouth with his fingers on the monitor behind Jensen and Misha. His hand is right where Misha is standing (you’ll understand once you watch it) so Jensen makes a kissy face back and Misha is blushing? Ummm wtf is going on here?

Jensen also does something strange that he never does during cockles panels he pulls his seat away from Misha.

Misha makes a very weird comment about Sebastian’s libido drying up and they have a weird conversation about libido and Viagra ads. It’s weird.

It gets even more awkward Jensen talks about bringing a total stranger, and a blind date. And it goes downhill from there with them. The it wasn’t you it was me speech. It was special. So heartbreaking. It was clearly not about the show but about their relationship. I always have a difficult time getting through that part. It’s so awkward that the fans are just there wondering what the hell is going on.

They decide to take questions and the fan is all over the place so Misha interjects but Jensen won’t let Misha say what he wants to say so he says, “This is why you make it awkward. You never let people finish what they are saying.” Ouch. Domestic dispute vibes anyone?

The way Jensen is looking up at Misha when he’s answering that question. It’s like he wants to sear his face into his memory before they leave Rome.

Jensen is explaining to a fan how one of the four sound stages they had on set was full of furniture and Misha adds “and soiled mattresses” I mean what was the reason? Did they soil the mattresses with their [redacted]

A fan mentions something about Dean and Cas so these two adorable dorks smile and share a look. Things are starting to look up. Thank Jack.

The fan says something again (I can’t make out what he’s saying) but it must be something nice because they look at each other with smiles on their faces again.

Jensen playing with the head of his microphone. Is it just me or did the temperature rise a notch higher?

The way they look at each other when the fan says to help him choose the hottest female cast member on the show

Then something freaky happens they say the exact same thing as twins or bffs do sometimes. LOL.

When they start talking about the hot women with the fans Misha moves his entire body and now instead of looking at the fans, he is seated facing Jensen. The tension is simmering down.

A point to note is that in all their panels they always sit angled facing each other as opposed to facing the crowd save for this panel and DCCON 2019. But for DCCON I can understand that they weren’t comfortable being meant to be a J/2 panel and a creation event. So you know some people in that crowd are super mean to Mish and others to Jensen, so they had to tread carefully. But I digress back to the chaos.

They ask who wants to have a cockles panel the next year and they both raise their hands. I thought that was sweet

It’s adorable how Jensen keeps repeating everything Misha is saying.

Misha forgets himself and moves too close to Jensen to listen to the song on the phone. Jensen turns to look at Misha, I don’t know what that look is but Misha backs away laughing.

Jensen’s face journey while listening to that song is gold.

Misha moves closer to listen to the song. I have to say the way they are standing is not usually how two bros listening to music usually stand. If you know what I mean

Misha agrees that’s definitely Jensen singing. Of course, he knows because Mr. “Jensen sings to me all the time”

He looks so proud of him. I’d venture to say he’s happy to hear Jensen sing because he has always been so shy about that fact about himself. He even gives him a standing ovation. That’s so adorable. He loves him. My heart.

Jensen is so cute trying to deny it’s not him singing that song. Yeah, it’s you, Jensen. Even your ex agrees it’s you and we bet he knows how your voice sounds in all kinds of situations ;)

we get a tingly feeling so we know it’s you. Jensen’s adorable smile when Misha says that. Aww.

The way they are not even looking at each other but they are seated the exact same way.

Allow me to explain to my friend here. Explains how his parents didn’t know whether he was a boy or a girl. Misha with the steel chair, “when did they figure out that you were a boy?”

How many years did they call you holly?

For six to seven years

Is it just me or is this conversation a flashback of teenage twink-lesbian Jensen years?

Fan asks whether Dean will ever forgive Cas. Watch Misha’s body language, he is trying to pacify himself by rubbing the back of his neck and fumbling with his shirt.

When Jensen says “ No!” without a moment’s hesitation, Misha looks distraught? I don’t know maybe I’m reading too much into this but I feel like this hit too close to home being that they were most likely broken up.

Misha however has a different opinion, “I think he has”

Jensen says, “Wishful thinking” and that elicits a smile from Misha.

A fan asks about Dean giving Cas the trenchcoat back and things get interesting. Weirdly, that Jensen can’t say the word gay out loud. He literally uses the word “unmanly” in its stead in the guise of censorship? It’s not a bad word Jensen you can say it. However, Misha and the fans say the word so I’m wondering who is censoring Jensen’s use of that word. He eventually says it but super fast.

Jensen says that saying “I always knew you would come back” is not something he would say to another human being, especially a man. Jesus, there’s nothing wrong with saying that to another human being you care about. He’s the one making it gay. He was extra when answering that one.

They spent one and half hours making that scene just to end up not saying anything and it ended up looking gay anyway. Anyway, that’s interesting.

Jensen angles his body towards Mish and says in a very low soft and sexy voice “I guess I really hoped that you would come back some day” I would venture to say that Jensen at the moment in the panel was actually saying them to Misha. Who knows though?

They talk about it a whole lot for something that bothered him that much.

Misha being so excited about recreating a scene when a fan told Jarpad he’s amazing and Jarpad said "you are welcome.

“I think I understand what she wants. I’m not sure what she’s gonna get.” This is a very good line Misha. I will be using it often.

The way they awkwardly stand too close and whisper to each other. Umm…what is going on here?

Jensen folds over laughing because of something Misha says. They are back. The tension is almost 90% gone now and they are in their element.

The chaos of recording the alarm ringtone for the fan was just great to watch. They kept getting closer and closer and I think they might have shared spit at that point. Gross….LOL

The way Misha is sitting is he you know.

Jensen asking Misha whether he was saying anything or just screaming while they were recording. I think he just wanted to see Misha smile.

Jensen’s joy when a fan mentions that they have Misha’s résumé.

Jensen saying the word shit made my day. I curse a lot and it made me feel validated somehow.

Misha calls him dickhead in return and Jensen stops functioning and laughs instead . He also gets all hot and bothered trying to fumble with the lapel of his shirt. He does this a lot when he is turned on. He has a humiliation kink I think.

They start talking over each other about Misha’s special skills. Looks like Jensen might have known beforehand because he went straight for that. Or maybe he didn’t know but he knew since Misha is a mad genius there must be some amazing things in there. Either way, it was a good moment.

OMG Jensen is so excited and the way he motions to Misha to bring that résumé to him, LOL. This man was thirsty AF.

He even goes down from the stage to meet Misha and invades his personal space trying to reach the résumé. I think this is the moment the tension between them dissipated completely and they were back to some form of normalcy.

Misha holding Jensen’s shoulder trying to get his résumé back. Unsucessfully, I should add.

They read something funny and they fold over laughing and spin around like overjoyed seals. It is far removed from the mollusk family but at least it’s still a sea creature (I don’t know what I’m saying please don’t mind me)

Jensen is still on his knees laughing and can’t get up. As I said, he is being too extra in this panel.

Misha is trying to talk but they both can’t stop laughing. I think Jensen laughed so hard he got an extra set of abs that day.

Jensen is still laughing and you know what he is laughing at? Misha’s special skills being acting on camera. I mean it’s funny but man, prayforjensen.

They are still laughing. Jack, help them.

The way Jensen looks at Misha with pure adoration here makes me so happy and reminds me of the fictional characters they played being all heart eyes for each other.

Misha laughed so hard he cried.

Jensen trying to read the next ‘special skill’ Misha has but he can’t even talk because of how funny he thinks it is. He’s trying so hard not to laugh but he can’t help himself.

Jensen agreeing and also asking the audience to agree that Misha has a knack for certain accents. Accent kink anyone?

Jensen is so excited when Misha starts Tibetan throating singing and does the unicorn laugh facing away from the crowd. Bet he has experienced Misha’s Tibetan throat singing skills on a personal when they are (loud overhead helicopter noises followed by thunder rumbling)

Jensen falling to the ground after feigning a heart attack once he saw that Misha is a certified EMT. I mentioned before that I honestly, 100% think he wanted mouth to mouth. There’s no other explanation. He could’ve feigned a nose bleed or just about any other illness but he chose to fall on a dirty floor and lay down so Misha could either give him the breath of life or straddle him. Luckily for him his dream came true 7 years later at Jib9 when straddle gate happened. But I digress

Too bad Misha was still mad at him and heartbroken so he kicked him instead.

Jensen knowing that Misha kayaks seems to be part of his personal knowledge. Maybe they did it together sometimes.

Horseback riding. Hmm is it just me or do they seem awkward here?

Misha is so close to Jensen’s armpits. Must be missing his man’s musk and being held in those muscular arms again. Poor baby.

Misha can’t talk because of how funny he finds bicycle touring. I mean…I don’t see what’s funny but I guess he knows why it’s funny.

Misha laughing and raises his legs because Jensen is elaborating on the bicycle touring. Maybe it’s an inside joke or maybe it’s no longer funny to me because I’ve watched this panel like 5 times.

I think Jensen’s goal was to see Misha laugh and be happy because he turned to look at Misha who was still laughing hard and the joy on Jensen’s face. Aww.

Misha gravitating towards his man again. He must smell really nice Misha. And those arms. Bet he used to lift you against the wall and (this fucking thunder won’t stop rambling. Are chuck and Amara fighting again?)

Jensen marketing his man’s carpentry skills but then makes sure to make it ‘no homo’ by saying he would never sit on anything Misha has built. Sure Jan. Then he circles back and says that he knows that he can build things.

Misha walks away from him and he looks up to make sure where he is going. Maybe he was afraid Misha was walking out on him. (PTSD from their breakup?)

They mention acting on camera again.

And laugh

Jensen keeps talking about the acting on camera and watches to see if Misha is still laughing He still is and Jensen is happy that his baby is happy. He looks at him again and he is still happy that Misha is still happy. Then once the laughter dies down he starts talking about bicycle touring and checks again to see if Misha is laughing which he is so Jensen throws his head back unicorn laughing and then looks at Misha again to see that he’s still laughing. Then they look at each other and say something maybe it’s about that was a good laugh. Jensen is wiping tears from his eyes because of how hard he laughed Misha does the same. That entire thing was insane and they seemed to love it.

Jensen starts saying that being this happy or goofing around is how they are on set sometimes and have to take a 5-10 minute break and Misha doesn’t seem too happy at the mention of the set.

Jensen knowing that you can buy résumés on eBay. Did he buy Misha’s and then plant someone in the audience to bring it up or? Okay, yeah I know I’m reaching here but it’s probable.

I guess my theory wasn’t farfetched because Jensen says that he’s pretty sure that Jarpad put it on eBay the previous night so maybe he is the one who did all that to win Misha back?

Jensen knows the appellation clogging is a stretch. Seems like Misha has told him about it before.

Jensen looking at his watch to see if they have time for Misha to be telling a story about his high school sweetheart and now wife. I bet he wishes Misha could tell their love story so openly. He can’t stop looking at Misha.

The way Jensen is looking at Misha here. WTF man? He’s literally confused about what the question is.

The personal space question. This whole thing was just so many things. It was awkward, cringey, thirsty, funny.

when the fan asks whether there’s a funny fact between Jensen and Misha. I almost fainted. What? And Jensen repeats it. The two men are so stoic. They are not even looking at each other. They are looking at the fan like the way a statue stares at you, unmoving. Cringe.

The room is so quiet. Poor girl, I hope she didn’t feel awkward afterwards because if it were me, I would’ve cried from how stoic they looked and how quiet everyone was.

How they both scratch themselves, Misha on the head and Jensen on the nose. Maybe the question hit too close to home

Jensen turns to look at Misha as if to say ’help me out here man. We don’t wanna disappoint our fans.”

Misha gets it because he gets up. This whole thing is gold.

The way Jensen breathes out in anticipation. I know it was like they were playing a skit about personal space but why was he breathing like that? Shouldn’t he have been playing it as ‘uncomfortable’ not ‘turned on.’ Boudoir mannerisms.

Moving on Misha is unsure on where to touch Jensen 40.31. This is weird in and of itself because usually, they don’t have a problem touching each other’s faces, tush, eggplants, (jib4 anyone), backs et cetera. But now it’s weird? *cough* breakup *cough*

Misha touches Jensen’s ear and Jensen literally moans. He frigging moans people. In case it is not clear in the video, here is an isolated audio version of it. Jensen is also fumbling with his shirt like he’s all hot and bothered. Just like Misha did earlier. Was Jib3 their couple’s therapy that reminded them how happy and horny they made each other?

Jensen is really not answering the question, to be honest. He’s fumbling for words and trying so very hard to make sense but his word are incoherent.

Misha going in for the nose dip. I know friends do this all the time but you have to be very close and familiar with someone such as a friend friend or a sibling for you to poke a finger in their nose. I mean noses are slimy and eww…anyway. That happened. They seem so comfortable with it. Jensen I love you but please stop talking.

The way Jensen looks at Misha. He has the cutest smile on his face as if saying thank you for making that fun and making me horny, I still want you.

Misha wiping his pinky that touched Jensen’s nose on his pants. (I wanted to add something disgusting about what heshould’ve done with that pinky but I won’t so let’s move on)

Jensen wiggling his nose.

When Misha suggests that Spn moves to Nickolodeon. Jensen laughs a bit too hard.

Misha talking about spn being a puppet show reminds me of how he mentioned them having a puppet show in Jensen’s backyard after the show is over.

Jensen also saying that in a way spn is a puppet show. I mean is someone making snide comments about how their strings get pulled and sometimes they are not happy about it. Like how they fired his boyfriend. It seems like it’s an inside joke.

They named the plushie Zippy aww :))

For jack’s sake guys, the way they look at each other when they mention that the résumé was the highlight of the panel.

Jensen saying the more dirt you dig up on Misha, the more rewarded you are. Aww, someone’s trying to win his man back by any means necessary. You go girl…I mean Jensen.

He talks more about how he’s looking forward to next year when fans have more dirt on his friend Misha. Jensen didn’t want to leave the stage, he was lingering so he could spend more time with Misha.

It’s over guys.

Closing Ceremony

I know you didn’t ask for the closing ceremony but here you go. It’s a free gift.

Can I just mention how Jarpad is an overactive puppy? He has to play with anything and everything he finds.

The mc announces Misha twice for some reason. The second time Jensen looks in Misha’s direction with a small smile on his face. He [Jensen] is also chewing vigorously.

Jensen and Jarpad being typical dude bros and karate chop Rich. This is why the difference between his relationship with Jarpad and Misha stands out. He would be too busy making heart eyes to Misha to kick another guy. LoL.

Jensen hulking out when Jarpad is taking a video of everyone. Lol. This video keeps reiterating my point that his relationship with the two men is just different.

Jensen keeps looking in Misha’s direction, Misha who is busy talking to Steve and having fun. Let me also mention Steve is Jensen’s bestie and so are Jarpad and Misha, but I’m sure that Jensen felt some type of way, jealous when they were having so much fun with his man and he couldn’t. Jarpad also takes a while filming Misha for Jensen of course. They remind me of me having a crush back when I was in school. Wait, did Misha look at Jensen? It’s hard to see because the angle of the video is not expansive but I guess he was.

As soon as Jarpad gets back, Jensen takes the camera from him and starts filming fans. I’m sure he just wanted Misha to look at him

Rich mention’s Misha and something about acting on camera and Jensen licks his lips looking at Misha (I think).

Jensen then vigorously grabs the microphone from someone immediately and mention’s Misha. Jarpad’s reaction at that moment tells you everything you need to know about what’s going on between Jensen and Misha. It looks like he is pleading with Jensen in his head saying, “Don’t embarrass yourself bro. Please don’t” but it’s too late.

Jensen again talks about Misha’s résumé and specifically about acting on camera, the thing that made Misha laugh out loud during their panel. Someone’s smitten. Defending his ex-man.

Jarpad goes to whisper something to Misha. And they laugh while Jensen is thanking the jib staff for doing an amazing job. But when he sees the duo laughing, he loses track of thought and says “and they are all getting married” dude what ??? How do you go from thanking people who worked on the convention and in .1 seconds you are talking about they are all getting married? Who is? Are you okay? Do you need to sit down? No one gets it, he says he’s kidding and gives Jarpad the microphone, spares a glance at Misha and he seems distraught from that moment on. I wish I could see Misha’s face through all this.

He’s glancing in Misha’s direction again. Man’s got it bad. What?! Oh to be loved by Jensen Ackles. Misha must be a prize, I know he is a mad genius and gorgeous and sexy as hell with that golden skin that looks like it was dipped in gold and honey, big blue eyes that are bluer than the bluest blue, but Jensen wtf man? You are in public.

I think Jarpad is telling Jensen something maybe it has to do with what he and Misha were talking about earlier?

And it’s over people.

Overall, I agree with the breakup theory. I mean the way these two were acting around each other was very strange. If you watch Misha and Jarpad, they seem okay from the opening ceremony up till the end but Jensen and Misha are just being weird.

The panel was mostly fun but their body language told a story that something was definitely going on between them.

@littlewolf2703

#jib3 #jibcon 2012 #jib3 analysis #jib3 cockles panel #cockles #this was a doozy #glad to be done #there was a lot going on in that panel #cockles break up #cockles break up theory

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fruityyamenrunner · 2 years ago

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The Mike Pilavachi affair is interesting because reading the reports superficially it seems like a standard "priest is a nonce" story but it's more interesting because there is a very significant "counter-initiatory" element:

It's possible, probable even, that he is guilty of real noncery and rape - certainly all the "if you have safeguarding concerns, please contact the church at this number" is an effort to bring any noncery into the light -- but mostly what he is guilty of is oil massaging and wrestling twinks of legal age, as well as the usual "overgrown child" occult politics of a middle aged man playing with cliques of excited religious youth, forming inner rings etc.

In an interview in The Sunday Times this week, David Gate, a former Soul Survivor worship leader (responsible for music) described his experience of working with Canon Pilavachi, whom he had first encountered as a 12-year-old attending the New Wine festival.

He was 16, he said, when Canon Pilavachi “singled me out and told me I was going to do amazing things for God”. He contributed two songs to a Soul Survivor album, and started to lead the singing at events. As other men have described, he wrestled with Canon Pilavachi, “but always fully clothed in the company of others”.

“There seemed to always be a favourite — usually athletic, always male teenagers or young men — no older than 23,” Mr Gate said. “If he’d win — and often he was a lot bigger than us — he might sit on top of you. Looking back, it must have appeared strange, a 45-year-old, well-built man wrestling on the floor with a 16-year-old boy.”

In 2012, Mr Gate moved to the United States. During a visit to Soul Survivor, Watford, in 2017, he recalled: “Mike preached that men couldn’t have relationships with other men because they have too much lust. He reasoned that women had lower sex drives, which moderated a man’s libido. It was misogynistic and homophobic.

“In the evening, we were instructed to break up into small groups of five or six to talk about sex: adults with teenagers. Most of us were strangers. There was absolutely no safeguarding. That was the final straw — I never went back.”

“There seemed to be no one who Mike was accountable to,” he said.

it's not ilegal, it's not even very immoral. Against the grubby background of charismatic evangelicalism, he is only slightly darker. He stands out because he grew so big and, for some fucking reason, decided to run his cult under the Church of England umbrella, conservative charismatic evangelical flavour.

The second part makes good initiatory sense -- this very simple kind of childish guru stuff works best in a context of repression and liminal ecstasy. Whatever you believe about the reality of "initiation" you might call even the charismatic evangelicals "counter-initiatory", but next to their fellow churchmen, largely happy to preside over an English Shinto or keeping up the lace-within-lace games of Anglo-Catholicism, they resemble the classic "initiatory" perverts.

All I can think is that as an initiatory guru, his perversions are so mild -- he seems to have scrupulously followed sex laws, looked for boys and men who were at least latently homosexual (and in that environment, there's not any unrepressed homosexuality, which colours the accounts of his detractors and victims) so mild that I don't think any other authority but the Church of England would even have cared enough to stop him.

That and the money of course - his concerts seem to have been expensive affairs.

magic man on this podcast calling Stephen Batchelor and Sam Harris "counter-initiatory" and "black brothers"

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yikesharringrove · 3 years ago

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Notes while watching episode 2:

Tldr, this season is still pretty fun. Of course they’re introducing more of the mysteries, so the tone (and my screen) has gone darker. I’m really sick of the plot centering around Nancy and Jonathan just not being able to talk to each other. We’ve had it since the beginning I’m DONE. Stop introducing side characters when you don’t have any idea what to do with your main ones. I’m hoping we get more of Lucas this season, he barely had like two minutes of screen time (which is a trend from last season) and also no one cared about billy. But of course, we knew that.

Anyway here is the long version of my notes:

The way I GASPED when Powell and Callahan stepped out of the police cruisers and Powell is the chief now I screamed bitch. My favorite minor characters are HERE.

I have Jonathan’s haircut right now rip

Everytime I am forced to watch children kiss each other I feel my soul slip away. (Although the flower thing was lowkey cute)

Mike not hugging Will is pure homophobia I’m gonna throw up.

“I heard a lot about your sister” unfortunately, we all have.

Glad to see that Murray is still dialed to 1000 forever.

They are really trying to make Jonathan look like an extra in Almost Famous and it’s just. Not working.

They really are out here shoving Steve into youth xs size polos and bitch I’m HERE for it.

“Alone we totally suck” Steve and robin platonic soulmates 4ever

Bennys burgers is now the teenage rage place obsessed with that.

“The devil lives here in Hawkins” yeah and the devil’s name is Nancy’s wardrobe

Claudia Henderson my beloved.

The way Dustin is defending Eddie and saying he knows that he’s too good a person to hurt Chrissy, and Max saying how scared Eddie looked and putting together the Upside Down pieces just breaks my fucking heart. No one cared about billy no one cared about billy.

People need to start fucking believing Joyce. She’s been right about everything for four seasons now stop staying no to her.

I am very similar to Joyce in that I am in love with Jim Hopper.

I am DEEPLY claustrophobic that torture scene was A Lot.

Wills deep man voice is freaking me out he’s a grown human now I’m gonna barf he was such a squishy baby in season 1.

Obsessed that Will is lowkey good at roller skating. He’s such a fruit.

Someone called Mike a twig and I thought he said TWINK.

Jason the WASP can eat my shorts PLEASE don’t tell me he becomes part of the main group I hate his dumb face. I only have room in my heart for one stupid prep and that spot is FILLED by STEVEN HARRINGTON

Nancy and Jonathan actually talk to each other and communicate challenge. “Slow motion breakup with Nancy?” VIBES

I don’t understand why Angela keeps calling El a snitch? When the teacher asked if something was going on El said there wasn’t, but the teacher saw through it. Like, she tried to cover for you, sorry that your bullying isn’t subtle.

When I heard that psycho killer baseline I genuinely had to pause the show to calm myself down that song is SO FUCKING GOOD

Jason the prep is just Hawkins’s version of Archie Andrews I’m gonna cry with this vigilante shit.

“See ya later. Alligator.” Steve Harrington my BELOVED. When he said that he looked so dead inside <3

I think Lucas has said about eight words this season and I’m Tired. He was barely in season 3 and only existed as a punch line for the joke of being constantly broken up with by Max. They’ve added a hundred new characters and have totally cast him aside which is ALSO on trend. Doesn’t mean I fucking like it though.

Reefer Rick is just Steve.

Okay when Steve was talking about attending to all the customers equally……. Not just babes…….. bisexuality……..

(Also some random punk walked in behind him and punk kid is my new kilt guy)

For some lovely lovely angst I am now headcanoning a scene where vecna gets in Steve’s head and uses Barb’s death and funeral against him like the reporter kid. I think that seeing Steve go through that guilt would be delicious.

Mike calling out Will for being a douche when really he’s just gay and Over It. “Why am I the bad guy” Mike you’ve been a dick for four seasons. Maybe look internally.

El just claw this bitch’s eyes out already. YES SKATE TO THE FACE GO GIRL.

Dustin is so annoying fr he’s the best. “Is that foot?” “No that’s just a shoe.” Steve and Dustin #DreamTeam

Movies and tv stop being too dark for me to see what’s happening challenge.

The little trumpet noises Robin makes SHES SO CUTE.

“Yeah yeah, on Dustin’s mother” this is some fucking Claudia slander and I will not stand for it.

All steve knows is eat hot chip, moan when other boys press up against him, and lie.

Eddie (rightfully) being treated like he’s been traumatized. No one cared about billy no one cared about billy.

They filled Eddie in on all the upside down shit right away. No one cared about billy no one cared about billy.

Vecna doesn’t feel like an Upside Down thing to me. I mean, he’s clearly in the Upside Down, and is a part of it? But the way he’s like up in these people’s heads is weird. I don’t think he’s any part of the mind Flayer because we had that bitch for two seasons, they’d be finished with that.

Also not the demogorgons being able to fly. These bitches have seriously evolved like the fucking graboids in Tremors 1-3.

#yikes talks #stranger things spoiler #strangerthingsspoilers #st4

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diluchatesme · 4 years ago

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Genshin Retail AU (Liyue)

Notes: damn i dont think the posts are showing up in the tags am i doing something wrong :[

Warnings:

Xingyun (if you squint)

ChiLi (very prominent)

Mentions of crime and Baizhu slander (but i love him, dw)

Other than that I dont think there should be anything too distressing :) please enjoy!

Liyue (Macdonalds):

- Ningguang is the store manager who doesnt care what her employees do as long as they do their job and there are profits

- Keqing tries to keep the order but its about as easy as keeping peace in a daycare but the daycare is full of teenagers capable of arson

- please help her its a macdonalds why is she taking this so seriously

- Chongyun and Xingqiu are always on shift together whether its in the kitchen or cashier. Noone questions how, only that Xingqiu has something to do with it, and chongyun knows nothing. But they do their job, so nobody really calls them out on it

- Zhongli used to work at the drivethru but then got demoted cause hed try to tell everyone the history of macdonalds and held up the line

- so now hes only allowed to fry the fries and not have any interaction with any customers

- similarly ganyu is banned from the kitchen cause she fell asleep in the freezer once and noone noticed until the next morning so shes either at the counter or drivethru

- Xiangling is great at her job and can be stationed anywhere in the kitchen but oh my god please its illegal to put those ingredients in the salad no xiangling stop

- the food ends up good so noone complains but...when the monthly inspection comes..shes put off work for about a week until it passes over

- Hu tao is....hu tao. She once got an order wrong on purpose as a prank but then was brought to the break room for a 'talk' by Zhongli for 5 hours and she never did it again

- tho she does occasionally prank people by saying the ice cream machine is down followed by "dadada!! Youve been pranked!!"

- only she finds this funny and there have been several complaints to Keqing, much to her dismay (definition of "disappointed, but not surprised")

- why did ningguang even hire beidou she isnt even here half the time or she shows up half drunk

- even on the days she shows up sober...everyone can see that hip flask, ma'am,, but understandable, customers are a nightmare

- Xiao dresses as ronald macdonald and hates his job but zhongli was the one who recommended this job so he refuses to quit

- he would be fine with it if the children werent so loud and a certain kfc employee didnt come in everyday to laugh and take pictures of him

-Xinyan is one of those really loud and enthusiastic cashiers and after she talks to you you feel really heated inside (like an adrenaline rush after a concert)

- whether its good or bad depends on the customer..

- but shes lowkey banned from the kitchen due to her trying to make everything higher temperatures ("itll cook faster") and almost burning the entire macdonalds down

- man we dont know much about yanfei yet but for now she sits at the ball pit or those children play areas and make sure nothing is blown up (looking at you klee) and rules are followed

- Qiqi has a questionable memory, has to be put in charge of similar tasks or its too much for her, so she counts stocks and reports back, under the scrutiny of baizhu, who orders said ingredients

- as for who moves the boxes, well thats where beidou comes in cause sickly green twink man cant lift for HIS LIFE

- overall its a nice place with some oddities here and there but the business prospers and surprisingly stuff gets done

Extras:

Banned from kitchen:

Ganyu

Xinyan

Beidou (Drunk)

Banned from interaction:

Zhongli

Bonus:

- Childe works at a shneznayan Starbucks (with the other harbingers) and used to show up through the drivethru in a fancy ass sports car and still in his work uniform to see zhongli and flirt through the speaker, even if hes muffled and zhongli doesnt understand what hes saying (he was also one of the reasons the line was constantly held up)

- but now that zhongli is in the back he just shows up through the front door every break that he has and makes himself at home in their breakroom (after 2 hours or so scaramouche comes to drag him back because hes STILL on shift)

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thorniest-rose · 3 years ago

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dude i cant stop thinking about johnny calling daniel a nerd and a geek for liking comic books but secretly having a big ass stash of spider-man comics cause it's his favorite superhero since it reminds him of a certain someone 👀. i mean lets take look at the similarities shall we 😌👓🤏 : brunette twink *check*, never shuts up *check*, having less money than his peers *check*, underdog *check*, incredibly selfless *check* and the list goes on and on. i just picture teenage johnny reading the comics compulsively while unknowingly pining for daniel 😫🥺

Oh my GOD *shakes you* this is so fortuitous because just the other day I was thinking about how perfect and amazing Ralph would have been as Peter Parker!!! Like imagine a Spider-Man film was made in the 80s, similar to how Tim Burton made Batman in 89, and it was just after the huge success of TKK and Ralph was cast. He would have been perfect!!He had the New York accent, the lithe body shape, he could do the sweet motormouth thing, he was cute but not a hunk or overly masculine, like... he had the whole package. If only I could go back in time and convince a major studio to make it and to cast him, everything could have been different.

But ALSO please imagine a lawrusso SM au where Daniel still moves to the Valley and is trying to be a normal kid but he's also trying to hide that he's Spider-Man, so he's going to school by day and at night sneaking out and putting the suit on and taking down thugs and crime lords in LA. Omg and then what if Johnny was M.J? But a hot jock version?? And he falls for Daniel, so Daniel then has to juggle school, his feelings for Johnny, and being Spider-Man and knows he can't tell Johnny because it could put him in danger, but he also really wants to be honest with him. Ugh it would be so good!!!

p.s was this inspired by the new Spider-Man trailer or the bit in my fic ace of hearts where Johnny sees Daniel with SM comics?

#asks #omg... and then terry silver could be like green goblin #i'd never have time to write something like this but... maybe drabbles could be written

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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years ago

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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 04 (first part)

(Masterpost) (Episode 03) (Episode 04 second part)

Warning: Spoilers for all 50 episodes!

Also warning: these posts just keep getting longer how are they getting even longer good lord I had to split this one.

School’s in for the Summer!

All of these nice young actors show off the results of their movement training as they beautifully perform prostrate bowing in near-unison. (yes, there is a Chinese word for this action, but it’s used in English in a shitty orientalist way, so OP is going to call this prostrate bowing)

Note that the very last person to hit his knees, by a wide margin, is Head Snob Jin Zixuan.

Lan Qiren looks them over with pleased dickishness.

I am really wondering what actor Huang Ziteng looks like without a struggle beard and mouth blood and chronic fainting.

That's...a lot of crosses, my dude

(more after the cut!)

Lan Clan Rules

The Lan rule set is basically a checklist for shit Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang can get up to this summer.

The rules include several that Lan Wangji is actively breaking this very moment, including “Don’t wear any jangling objects like beads,” “don’t be suspicious,” “don’t pierce your ears” and “don’t be supercilious.”

Wei Wuxian’s Summer Project

Extrovert Wei Wuxian gets started on the important work of making new friends. Waving to Lan Wangji in class doesn't get him anywhere (apparently), but he meets Nie Huaisang and forms one of the most important relationships of his two lives.

He doesn’t even know what they are being mutually squirrely about yet but they are instantly on the same wavelength.

I like you, yeah I like you, and I’m feeling so bohemian like you

When Wei Wuxian discovers that this classmate has smuggled an entire live birb into this boring-ass lecture he is completely delighted, and they are brothers in troublemaking from this point onward.

This is where we learn something important about Nie Huaisang. He wanted a rare canary, so he stalked it for three days, caught it, and caged it.

This careful hunter is 15 or 16...I wonder how much more patient and determined he will be when he's 35 or 36?

The Salute Ceremony: The Unstabby Bit

The Jin Clan starts off the salute ceremony by presenting Lan Qiren with a fancy book bound with gold string.

Wei Wuxian is genuinely impressed, but Jiang Cheng calls it "meretricious" [op looks it up] which means "apparently attractive but having in reality no value or integrity." Wow, Jiang Cheng is so deliciously bitchy.

Then it’s Nie Huasang’s turn. Wei Wuxian is impressed when he hears his name, meaning he befriended him without giving a fuck about who he is, which is sweet. I adore this friendship and think there are so many reasons NHS chose WWX to carry out his vengeance, none of which come from him being the dread Yiling Laozu.

The Salute Ceremony: The Thirsty Bit

To represent the Nie clan, I present this nice pot to Lan Qiran, and this rare and beautiful twink to Lan Xichen

Note: the trash talking jerks in the background are from the Jiang clan. Yanli does not remind them about their manners.

Quiet, reserved Lan Xichen greets Meng Yao with compliments and a hand massage and by doing this thing with his mouth.

No words are being produced at this point, he is just...parting his lips gently while he rakes his eyes over Meng Yao’s face.

Meng Yao doesn’t mind a bit

Flames on the Side of my Face

The Wen Clan guys have left Club Ruohan and are coming to summer school. Wen Chao is evil. It's subtle but you can tell by the way he casually sets people on fire.

Lan Clan Rules for Gate Keepers

do not draw your sword to stop someone from setting you on actual fire

do not use magic to stop someone from setting you on actual file

do not call for help when someone sets you on actual fire

Wens Qing and Ning believe in helping people, so once the smell of burning flesh starts to annoy them, Wen Qing puts out a solid 80% of the flames.

Note: We’re going to be spending a lot of time hating Wen Chao, so now might be a good time to have a look at (actor) He Ping out of costume.

Clearly, Wen Chao is just a beautiful troubled person with pretty moles who totally deserves a second chance.

The Salute Ceremony: The Stabby Bit

The Wens interrupt Jiang Cheng’s salute. Lan Xichen apologizes to them for not knowing they were going to show up like a bunch of interrupting assholes.

Lan Wangji wants to murder Weng Chao and looks at Xichen for permission but Xichen says no.

I never get to murder anybody not even that Su She asshole

So Wei Wuxian starts running the WWX fight book, which has to actually be pretty gratifying for the Lans, who are stuck being good hosts.

He skips the windup in this situation of heightened danger, so he is formal, polite, and doesn't cross any boundaries. But Wen Chao came looking to fight so it escalates immediately, with Jiang Cheng also getting in Wen Chao’s face.

The Wen Clan decides to teach the Jiang Clan a lesson. This is really the seed of the Lotus Pier massacre...it was always going to happen. The Wens draw swords and almost the entire Jiang Clan immediately draws as well.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng both use the same sexy move, kicking their swords up off their benches into their hands.

Nie Huaisang hides behind Meng Yao, who immediately uses his whole body to shield him and shows a bit of his titanium spine. I LOVE Meng Yao’s strength here.

Wen Qing protects her brother by putting her arm across his chest, which is not going to be helpful in any way if someone wants to stab him.

To end this urgent and dangerous standoff Lan Xichen slooooowly brandishes his flute and plays a little toodleoo for 15 full seconds, eventually causing all the swords to fly up to the ceiling and then down into the floor.

{I know, flautists, I know. Never let facts get in the way of a joke!]

Everyone politely allows him to do this without actually taking any swipes at each other. Then the swords all magically vanish along with the holes they made in the floor, which is convenient.

Now we get to see Lan Xichen angry, and oh my god, the tiny glimpse of that secret fire.

Now Wen Qing finally steps up to defuse the situation. She cannot believe she has to work with her boss's horrible stupid son who insists on fucking up every project, god why did he ever get made a vice president I can't believe I have to work with this tool.

Meanwhile, Lan Xichen is going to rue the day he introduced Wei Wuxian to Flute Magic.

Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang 4-EV-R

After the ceremony Nie Huaisang, calling Wei Wuxian “Wei-Xiong” (brother Wei, a bit more formal than -ge) praises his bravery. Wei Wuxian says that he enjoys resisting evil, harking forward to his chivalric calling & future promise with Lan Wangji.

Jiang Cheng says, without irony, I think, and with only a little bitterness, that normal people can't compare to Wei Wuxian’s bravery. Wei Wuxian downplays his courage and says that he wants to teach Nie Huaisang to have fun.

Now - hopefully we've all seen Fatal Journey, right? I won't spoil it here. But if you've seen it you know that a person who gives Nie Huaisang permission to be his true self is going to be precious to him.

Lan Wangji shows up and Wei Wuxian calls out to him, calling him "Ji-Xiong." Lan Wangji totally blows him off but Wei Wuxian is undeterred.

Xichen and Qiren Talking.

Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren talk about this whole Wen situation while Qiren pours some tea that appears to just be hot water. Dude.

Qiren is afraid this murdering of cultivators is going to be something the two of them can't handle. You think? There are already about 16 dead cultivators in the mosh pit at Club Ruohan; at what point are you planning to handle it?

This Ship is Sailing

Meng Yao comes to say goodbye to Lan Xichen and to trade hearts with him. Also to have a lot of feelings that his giant eyes and adorable dimples cannot contain.

Lan Xichen: Don't bow to me. No need to thank me like this. We’re equals. As equals we could take turns kneeling to each other, if you catch my drift.

Lan Xichen: Why not stay for several days? Oh if you're Nie Mingjue's boy I guess I have to let you go. He's great. Really. SO great.

Lan Xichen: Look, you’re with Nie Mingjue and I’m with Nie Mingjue and it only takes one stroke to turn a Vee into a triangle, is what I’m saying.

Grown-ass man Lan Xichen is so much less prudent than his teenage brother. Each of them has fallen hard for someone but the much younger Wangji tries to control it. Hopeless romantic Xichen goes right over the cliff, as well as deliberately knocking away many of the fences around Wangji’s heart so Wei Wuxian can make a home there. We love him for it, of course.

Episode 04, Part 2 is right here.

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #the untamed gifs #chen qing ling #the untamed stills #restless rewatch the untamed #lan xichen #meng yao #chenyao #nie huaisang #wei wuxian #the untamed spoilers #restless rewatch #the untamed meta

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darkverrmin · 4 years ago

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Do You Like It? Pt. 2

Link to Part 1:

warning: people saying mean stuff to Jaskier, mentions of homophobia, light smut.

They walked out of the tavern and turned to a narrow path, shaded by trees. Jaskier chattered about nothing in particular and Geralt found his voice soothing. Their shoulders occasionally brushed by accident and it sent shivers down Geralt’s spine. Geralt sneaked glances at Jaskier when he thought the bard wasn’t paying attention. The Witcher still couldn’t calm himself about how good Jaskier looked with that black eyeliner and the unbuttoned shirt, revealing his chest hair. It was an odd mix of masculinity and femininity that sent a wave of arousal through Geralt’s body. When Jaskier caught him looking and smiled at him, Geralt imagined himself pushing Jaskier against a tree and kissing him breathless. But in reality, Geralt averted his gaze to the ground, his face hard and impassive.

They walked like that for half an hour, Jaskier talking and Geralt deep in his thoughts. They were already close to the inn when they passed a group of five men, leaning against a fallen tree trunk and talking loudly. Geralt glanced at them briefly, looking for any signs of danger. He instinctively took a step closer to Jaskier, ready to drag him away if anything went wrong. The men stared at them, but didn’t make any moves.

Just as they passed the group, a drunken voice called them from behind.

“Hey, pretty! My friend here is wondering how much you take for a blowjob!”

They stopped. The men burst out in loud laughter. Geralt felt a wave of rage washing over him. Jaskier turned at the offender, regarding him with a dismissive look, before rolling his eyes and turning away. “Such clever words from such a clever man. Let’s go” he addressed Geralt, resuming their walk.

“Hey! I’m talking to you! The twink with the makeup! Why won’t you come over here and we show you how a real man looks like!”. The men laughed again and someone whistled. Geralt glanced at Jaskier who raised his eyes to the sky, his expression showing exasperation and half-amusement. “Thank you, dear” he threw over his shoulder “But I like my men a little less thick headed”.

Some of the men laughed again and Geralt noticed from the corner of his eye that the offender launched in their direction, his face furious. “What was that, you little fucking-”

Geralt turned on his heels to grab the man, but he was too late. Jaskier gave him a firm kick in the groin, sending him to the ground howling. The other men jumped to their feet and one of them tried to grab Jaskier by the throat, only to be punched in the face by Geralt. Geralt shielded Jaskier with his body and growled at the men. One of them took a step backwards, whispering to the others “shit, it’s that damned Witcher”. The others lowered their fists and weapons, slowly backing away.

The offender stumbled back to his feet and tried to slip away from them. Geralt grabbed him firmly by the collar of his shirt and pushed him back to the ground again. The man tried to get up, but Geralt stepped on his shoulder, causing him to yelp in pain.

“Geralt!” Jaskier was staring at the scene with wide eyes. “Geralt, it’s not worth it!”. But the Wicther wasn’t listening to him. He pressed his boot harder against the man’s shoulder, causing him to groan.

“Apologize” Geralt growled. The man turned his head to look at Jaskier, blinking rapidly. “I-I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”. Geralt turned his head to look at Jaskier. “Do you accept his apology?”

Jaskier looked at Geralt before looking back at the man on the ground and nodding. “Yeah, I do”. Geralt stepped away from the man, still glaring. “You’re pathetic” the Witcher snarled. “And about being a man... You can be sure that he’s ten times more of a man than all of you will ever be, combined”. Jaskier almost gaped at those words, remaining silent.

Geralt walked away, shouldering past Jaskier. “Let’s go”.

Jaskier stared at the man who stumbled to his feet for another second, before turning away and following Geralt into the dark.

***

Geralt walked at a fast pace, his fists clenched at his sides. Jaskier caught up with him quickly, walking beside him and looking at him worryingly.

“Geralt”.

No response.

“Geralt, please slow down”.

Geralt ignored him, continuing at the same pace. Jaskier jumped in front of him, grabbing him by the arms. Jaskier’s forehead bumped painfully against the Witcher’s nose.

“Ahh, fuck” Jaskier groaned, rubbing his face. “Sorry”. The Witcher dropped his hand from his nose, still glaring. “What, Jaskier”.

Jaskier sighed, tilting his head to look into Geralt’s eyes. Geralt felt something stirring in his chest. Jaskier sighed, dropping his gaze to the ground. “I just wanted to say thank you, for what you did back there… And also, I’m sorry”.

Geralt blinked at him. “What the fuck are you sorry for?”

Jaskier still wasn’t looking at him. “Should’ve kept my mouth shut. Ignored him”.

“He was calling you a whore”.

“Well, it was kind of expected”.

Geralt blinked again, exasperated. “What?”

“I knew I might get shit from people if I walk around looking like this”

“That doesn’t make it okay for someone to speak to you that way”. Geralt paused, sighing quietly. “You know that, right?”

Jaskier shrugged, looking at the buttons of Geralt’s shirt. He realized he was still standing very close to the Witcher, so he took a step back. “I guess” he mumbled.

Geralt tilted his head to the side, incredulous. “You guess?”

Jaskier shrugged again. “I guess I’m just used to it”. When Geralt didn’t respond, Jaskier continued speaking. “I got a lot of shit like that when I was a child. And a teenager. Even in Oxenfurt. Playing the lute isn’t exactly considered popular among young men”. Jaskier paused, sighing and scratching at his cheek. “Neither does being with other men”.

Geralt gulped. “Being with other men?”

Jaskier rolled his eyes. “Being. Sleeping. Yes, I sleep with men, too. Want me to spell it out for you? I think you understood me well the first time”.

“I didn’t know that” Geralt muttered quietly. He felt a knot of anxiety tying itself in his stomach.

Jaskier chuckled. “Well, I wasn’t exactly exclusive about it. But I thought you figured it out by yourself already”.

“No”.

“Right. Um, okay. Well, um, now you know. Hope it doesn’t change your opinion about me”.

Geralt sighed, getting angry again. “Why would it change my opinion about you?”

“I don’t know” Jaskier’s voice sounded small and Geralt immediately regretted raising his voice at him. “You aren’t exactly easy to read, Geralt. I was worried you’d think something bad of me because of the makeup”.

“It looks good on you”. The words came out of his mouth before he realized what he said.

Jaskier gaped at him. And then his face lit up. “Huh. Wow. Thank you. Sorry, caught me a little off guard there... Unless you’re lying”.

Geralt rolled his eyes. “I’m not lying, Jaskier”. Geralt met Jaskier’s gaze, who was looking at him softly. Geralt felt his heart hammering against his ribcage.

“That’s very sweet of you, Geralt”.

“You don’t need my confirmation to wear something you like”.

“I know, but it’s still nice to hear. Especially from you”. If Geralt had looked away in that moment, he wouldn’t notice Jaskier’s gaze flickering momentarily to his lips. But he didn’t.

Realization struck Geralt hard at that moment. Jaskier liked men. Jaskier was staring at him softly, calling him sweet. Jaskier was looking at his lips.

Geralt stopped thinking as he walked over to Jaskier. He went with his gut. Jaskier slowly uncrossed his arms, dropping them to the sides of his body. He stared at Geralt with raised eyebrows, but didn’t move an inch, when Geralt stopped right in front of him.

Feeling brave and stupid, Geralt slowly raised his hands to cup Jaskier’s cheeks. Jaskier closed his eyes momentarily, leaning into the touch. He opened them again, staring at Geralt with expectation. Geralt hummed softly, stroking Jaskier’s cheek with his thumb.

“I lied” The Witcher murmured, leaning in closer, his lips almost touching Jaskier’s. Jaskier let his eyes fall half closed, parting his lips slightly. “About?” Jaskier whispered.

Geralt looked at his lips before looking back to his eyes. He moved one hand from Jaskier’s cheek up to his hair, fingers tangling themselves in the soft, brown locks. Jaskier sighed quietly in pleasure.

Geralt titled his head to the side, his nose brushing against Jaskier's. “I don’t think you look only good like this. I think you look beautiful”. Jaskier closed his eyes and leaned in, brushing his lips softly against Geralt’s. Geralt responded by gently catching Jaskier’s lower lip in his mouth, sucking on it lightly. Jaskier pressed his body against Geralt’s, tangling his fingers in the Witcher’s long hair and tugging lightly.

Geralt was sure at this point that he was dreaming.

He licked at Jaskier’s lips and Jaskier parted them, allowing Geralt’s tongue to explore his mouth. When Geralt’s tongue met his, Jaskier moaned into the kiss and the sound of it drove Geralt crazy. He slowly walked Jaskier back, pressing him against a nearby rock. Jaskier responded by sitting on top of it and wrapping his legs around the Wicther’s thighs, pulling him even closer. Geralt groaned into Jaskier’s mouth as their erections pressed together. Jaskier started to feverishly unbutton Geralt’s shirt, his hands slipping over the Witcher’s broad chest. Geralt responded by gripping Jaskier’s ass and grinding against him.

“Fuck,” Jaskier gasped. “I want you. Here. Right now. On the grass”.

Geralt chuckled low in his throat, moving down to kiss Jaskier’s neck. “Not here. Too dangerous”.

“I am not waiting all the way back to the inn, Geralt”.

“Why not? It will give us something to expect for, once we arrive”.

Jaskier pouted at him and Geralt looked up and felt his heart melting. He stood up straight, leaning his forehead against Jaskier’s, his eyes boring into his. Jaskier chuckled, sneaking an arm under the Wicther’s shirt and stroking his hip bone. The touch made Geralt visibly shiver.

“I should’ve worn makeup a long time ago” Jaskier murmured with a smile.

Geralt rolled his eyes fondly, kissing Jaskier again. He pulled away momentarily to say “You’re a fool to think that this is just because of the makeup”.

He gave Jaskier’s ass a firm squeeze, causing him to gasp into his mouth.

“You. Me. My bed at the inn. Now”.

(to be continued!)

#geraskier #geralt/jaskier #geralt x dandelion #geralt x jaskier #geralt of rivia #gerald #jaskier #witcher netflix #geralt the witcher #witcher #the witcher #julian alfred pankratz #geralt #geralt × dandelion #dandellion #dandelion #geralt z rivii

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characteroulette · 3 years ago

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all right I feel like I have to talk a bit about DGS2 (the actual gameplay and story stuff) before I do a deep dive into the theme because like. I have a lot to say that doesn’t pertain to the topic so here’s a few things:

(first, some not so spoiler things)

The way that there’s a musical build-up to the really big turnabout moments is TIGHT. like holy shit, having there be a prelude to Ryuunosuke’s Objection with less instrumentation is so good, it got me freaking hype every time (and also laugh really hard when I’d fuck it up and the music just cuts out)

For that matter, having a twist on the usual system of “if music stops, you are correct!” by having “if music stops, you are wrong” is so good. It’s a very subtle thing I don’t think many would notice, but I did and I really appreciated it as a little detail

Also, the way they finally figured out how to mix and match expressions with each talk sprite! seeing Ryuunosuke make different emotions while in the same body position was wild and I noticed it like every time it happened, it made things a lot more intense honestly because like. wow they can emote a lot more now!! This one small detail makes me excited for a potential AA7 because more expressions!! hell yeah!! (this is the one thing I’ll accept the 3D models for whoop)

(okay, onto spoilers stuff)

I love how Case 1 was constructed. Susato is good and I love her a lot and seeing her actually be a teenager who doesn’t know everything (while also giving her a better understanding of what Ryuunosuke has to go through) was awesome. Seeing the Judge as a character off the bench, also, was wild and really cements how hard they went with the story this time.

Though it is wildly weird how every dude calls her super attractive in her disguise. That’s a bit unsettling, she is 16. It’s okay when Haori (/Rei) does it because they’re the same age, but literally every other older male character doing it is a bit gross, c’mon guys

I hated the beginning of Case 2 because I’m all ready not a fan of flashbacks that are like “oh hey remember this thing we never acknowledged or talked about? that happened” and sure there were a few hints in DGS1-4, but like. It rubbed me the wrong way up until the first day of the trial was halfway through. This was also the point where I was getting really, really fed-up with the Summation Examination (and grateful that they actually didn’t continue Apollo Justice’s jury system in the mainline games because holy shit I hate all of these people I feel like Kristoph goddamn)

Can we just talk about how they gave Lord van Zieks a twink boyfriend?? Also I’m a dumbass who looks at the character design for Enoch Drebber vs. Dr Sith and thinks they’re related purely because their hair is a similar colour. Even though they are decidedly not related. This case was hella though

Also it made me laugh that Lord Stronghart is basically like “Okay Ryuunosuke I guess I can allow you back into the courtroom” and immediately Ryuunosuke tears open EVEN MORE government secrets like what a legend. Phoenix absolutely inherited this penchant for uncovering the government’s darkest secrets we stan the Naruhodou clan

I don’t like how the final case was split between 4 and 5, the cut off in 4 seemed really abrupt. I get why they did it, because there was a lot to reveal in this trial, but the ending of 4 jarred with me. It just didn’t seem like a good stopping point.

That being said, Asougi makes a perfect prosecutor opponent and I can’t believe these galaxy brains over here really decided “what if 1-4 but with two games worth of build-up and all of 4-1′s dread BUT MORE” like holy shit does it work. And I sorta had an inkling that this is where the story was going, of course you’d have to defend the Reaper of the Bailey (because even Ryuunosuke, despite trusting van Zieks, is very often like “yeah but he’s probs a murderer though”) and of course you’d have to fight against your best friend to do so it’s just. *chef’s kiss* perfection I loved it

And van Zieks’ speech at the end. word for word, I called it. I fucking called it like I saw it and word for word I was 100% right, that was such a hype moment for me. I can’t believe I read van Zieks’ character from moment one so well holy shit

All the talk of Asougi being “totally different” than how they remembered him also kinda. fell flat. like we knew Asougi for all of one case, you guys, we have zero reference for who you’re talking about. That being said, Asougi didn’t actually seem all that different for me. Like, I wouldn’t have known he was a hothead if I hadn’t read his profile in DGS1-1, but with that knowledge, everything Asougi did during 4 and 5 made sense to me for his character. I dunno what the hell Ryuunosuke and Susato were talking about, so their worries kinda bounced right off me whoops.

I expected the ending to be more bittersweet, considering we’re leaving all our friends behind to head “home”, but I’m surprised at how heartwarming and genuine it was. All of them promising to meet again is great, very tooth-rottingly sweet. And Iris recognising Sherlock as her dad!! I’m weak for that sort of thing ;w; ;;;

although one last gripe, I kinda hate how the narrative definitely pushes a sort of Ryuunosuke/Susato tone. She is 16 and he’s at least 23~24 (judging from Asougi’s age), Capcom you have to stop doing this. Especially with the AA series. Japan, in general, you have to stop doing this please I’m begging you it’s gross and I hate it

but yeah overall, very good game. as a stand-alone, I’d say it’s better than the first by a slim margin, but together they make one hell of an experience, I’d highly recommend it

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