#SORRY I want them to be together too but it was UNREALISTIC - ESPECIALLY in the 50’s!!!!

[half-an-hour-hence]

When people say they dislike Hawk I lose my mind. Is he selfish as fuck? Yes of course. Did he do questionable things that hurt other people? Yes he did.

But can we talk about how he loved someone before, how that someone literally DIED trying to stay close to him, and how incredibly guilty he would’ve felt about that? Can we entertain the possibility of Hawk being reluctant to love someone again in case the same thing happened?

Can we simultaneously talk about how his father found out about his relationship with this other man, disowned him, cut him out of the will, and ridiculed him until the day he died? Can we THEN talk about how his mother told Hawk he could apologise to his father for being who he was in order to be put back in the will, only for his father to talk to him like he was worth less than the shit on the bottom of his shoe and being forced to apologise for causing such an ‘inconvenience’?

And if that’s not enough, he’s got people he knows being fired from their jobs, ostracised from their family and friends, admitted to hospitals to have electroconvulsive therapy to be ‘cured’, and even going as far as to commit suicide because their sexualities have been discovered by people who think it’s disgusting and wrong. Hawk’s surrounded by this group of powerful people who wish to see people like him dead. There’s absolutely no way he’s going to raise his hand and admit that he is gay when he’s witnessed how people are punished for it. Nobody would - not when society was this oppressive and full of hatred towards queer people.

I cannot fathom the amount of fear that must’ve been controlling him, and the constant battle he must’ve been having within himself over what he wanted and what he could realistically have. He is not the villain here. The true evil is the views of society at the time. Hawk is a victim of his circumstances, and I will die on this hill.

[yuyu1024]

Fate

Pairings: Yoongi × y/n

Genre/tags: Arranged marriage

Warning: 🔞🔞🔞 mention of blood/violence/drugs/trafficing, trauma, mention of killing, kidnapping, gun, mention of food/eating/weight, cursing, sensual touching, making out smoking, smut (but not this chapter)

~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 5.2k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note:

Until you (mini series)

Part 1 - Prisoner

Part 2 - Escape

Part 3 - Twilight

Part 4 - Fate

A/N: again... im really sorry for being a slow writer/update for this mini series🙏🏻 i can't help it. 😭 I do get msgs asking for updates & i feel bad... so sorry 🥹 I try my best to have time to get into the story/characters whenever i have free time. I work full time and have a 2nd job too so it takes all my energy. I'm really... really sorry.😭

But yeaah, thank you for everyone liking my yoongi fanfic. 🖤🫶🏻 thank you for the patience😭

I hope this chapter is okay ♥️

****

(Prologue/Flashback)

"Sshh..." she covers your mouth for you to stay quiet and not make any noise. She reminds you constantly to keep it together or else they will find you. "Just a little bit more, Yoongi." She whispers. "Calm down..."

You try your best to do what she says because you want you guys to survive this. To escape. However you are a kid and you are terrified. And you can't stop yourself from shaking like a twig. Also you are rapidly breathing through your nose. Tears even start to fill your eyes as you look into her eyes.

"You'll be fine..." she says to you. "Noona, will protect you."

"I'm scared..." You whisper grabbing onto her long braided hair.

You two are a few inches apart. If she could only embrace you, she will. However there are metal bars between you two and she is.... injured.

"Me too." She wants to cry to as she must be as scared as you or maybe, more. But since she's the eldest between the two of you she have to be brave for you. "Just go to sleep... I promise... the moment you wake up...when the sun is shining after the storm tonight... we'll be safe... we'll already be at home..."

"P-promise?"

She tries her best to not break down because she knows that she's promising something that's very unrealistic in your situation right now. Both of you are held captives, kidnapped and waiting to be saved.

"I promise." She sniffs "Just hold onto this for now..." she meant her hair and then reaches her hand to you slowly even it's causing too much pain for her. "Go to sleep... Noona will be right here..." the tip of her fingers barely touched your cheek. "I will protect you..." she adds

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Present]

The silence between you two is very deafening. Even the staffs at the mansion notices how both of you are very distant to each other.

Odd right? They should be used to this situation since Yoongi is the silent type or the one who does not talk that much especially to you.

However for you, maybe this is out of character as every one is not used to you being like this. Well THIS silent anyway.

You usually talk and greet them or make small talks with them or Yoongi even if it's just a random question to make him just...talk. You do anything to make him speak to you. You make small efforts to chase his attention just to get him look back at you per say. Like a dog.

But now, since he made sure to leave you the moment you got vulnerable with him during sex and mentioned a feeling you have, which in the first place you had no idea you have, really hurt you this time. Big time. It is a rejection that you never thought would bother you this much.

"You two are awfully quiet." Mrs. Min says as soon as she puts down her cup of coffee on the table. "You two are both quiet originally... I know... but..." she looks at you and Yoongi back and forth twice. "Did you guys had a fight?"

No one answers.

"Guessing...silence means yes?" Mrs. Min looks at us again, hoping someone will speak up. "What did you do?" She asks Yoongi.

But he didn't open his mouth to speak. He just continued on chewing on his breakfast while his eyes are glued to you.

He has been eyeing you since the two of you left the mansion. He have been silently watching you move along, react and walk from your back. You don't notice it as you are trying to achieve to ignore him completely today. And so far, you are a gold medalist at it. You don't even bat an eye on him.

"Fine... not gonna ask anymore questions..." Mrs. Min gives up. "Anyways, after this lunch... I'll have a meeting with Hannah."

Yoongi flinches, finally reacting and gets interested to whatever his mother is saying. "What for?"

"About the private resort project that she is building... she wants my opinion about what brands to use for the decorations. She have a final lists of candidates of brands and she wants to know my say to it."

"Really...."

"Yes... and as soon as it opens... she says you two can go there... and celebrate... as her gift. Since she missed going to your wedding."

"Celebrate?" You finally spoke after how many years. Even Yoongi whip his head to look at you.

"Yes dear," Mrs. Min smiles so brightly and holds your hand. "You're 2nd anniversary... next month... right?"

"Ah, yes... right." You try to smile it away. But deep inside, you are not looking forward to it.

Why would you? Last year Yoongi didn't even greeted you Happy Anniversary. He probably didn't care back then so why would he care now and celebrate this year? This marriage is nothing to him.

"Is she coming here?" Yoongi asks his mother, changing back the subject to Hannah

"No... I am meeting her at her office."

You are holding on for dear life on your gold medal for 'Ignoring my husband award'. You are so curious to look at him. To see his beautiful face, how he reacts when they talk about her. Hannah. The girl you saw more than a year ago. The girl you saw on the driveway, talking to your husband while she hooked her arms on his'. The girl that Yoongi seems interested about. The girl he seems to.... like.

"How about you guys? What are your plans today after our brunch?" Mrs. Min asks

"Hmm.." he sighs heavily and then takes his phone from the table. "Probably fuck my wife " Yoongi answers nonchalantly making you and Mrs. Min almost choke on nothing. That sentence made you even look at him with wide eyes and red cheeks.

"Omo..." Mrs. Min is too stunned to even comprehend what she just heard. "Well... okay... too much information but..." she then takes a sip of her coffee. "You do you."

"I'm sorry..." you apologize to your mother-in-law.

You are embarassed. This topic should be a private matter. Everyone in the mansion already seem to have the idea what you two do on a regular basis but you do hope that outside, no one has to know.

It's not that you are embarassed of having a sex life. It's normal. Yes. But to have to talk about it to his parents, oh dear god, no.

"Why are you apologizing?" Yoongi's face looks so damn serious. "We are husband and wife right?"

You scowl at Him. You don't like how he acts or portrays like sex is just a hobby for him and it's nothing to be embarassed about. Especially in front of his mother while you are present. He really does not treat you like you have any feelings. He is evil.

"Okay... children...children... don't fight about this... it's okay. You already have issues before we got here so... it's fine." Mrs. Min tries to sooth the situation up.

She's so nice to try. Though she does not know the real reason why there is a huge distance between you two today. It's not that simple. You don't even know if she knows how his son treats you.

***

"Sir." Mr. Kim bows as both Yoongi and you arrives at the driveway, about to leave Mrs. Min's property.

"Get in." He orders you

You glare at him then roll your eyes away. You are in no mood now. You have scowled at him earlier already so why not do it more now that he is irritating you.

"Hold on..." he suddenly grabs you by the arm, stopping you from getting in the car. "Did you just fucking roll your eyes at me?" He scoffs

You try your best to pull your arms from his grip but he is stronger than you. "Let me go." You grunt

"What are you doing?" He asks, "You've been.... acting up lately..."

"I don't know...what you're talking about..." you finally freed yourself from his grip.

"Don't act innocent on me... I know you."

"Know me?" You snap. "How? We barely talked these past two years... You only look for me when you want something done and someone to fuck...besides that, I am nothing to you. So how the fuck will you know me?"

Finally! You've said something. However you can't lie to yourself how terrified you are right now. Your legs are shaking. You have never risen your voice like this before. Not with him. Plus Yoongi is so freaking silent. There was no reaction from him not like Mr. Kim who just coughed because of the sudden tension.

Is he in shock? He must be surprised to hear you speak out after all this time. He had never heard you talk like this before. You can't even read his expression. He is just looking down at you, straight on.

"Ahm... Sir... Miss... I'll leave you two... alone." Mr. Kim finally broke the awkward silence. "Just message me if... we're going home."

You glance at him and bow. Also giving an apologetic look since the situation got a bit serious.

And as soon as Mr. Kim is gone from our sight, Yoongi takes a step forward closer to you, making you back up and your behind bumping on the car. "Is that... what you think?"

You glare up at him. "Yes."

"You think... I don't know you?"

"Yes."

He chuckles. "I know you more than you know..."

You frown. "You only see me when you are horny... you don't even talk to me unless to I ask you... unless you tell me what to do and what not to do... so, how would you know anything about me...?"

He scrunches his face. He looks irritated "I see you more than you think." He mumbles. And then he took a step back and looks at you and watch you tremble,"Do you regret it?" He asks

"W-what? Regret what?"

"The sex... do you regret it?"

"W-what? What do you mean...?"

He then puts both his hands on the car, trapping you between. "Just answer the question... do you hate and regret the sex?"

You look away. "No...."

"Do you want us to stop fucking?"

You sigh heavily. "Why are you focusing on the sex?!?" Your brows are furrowed. You are really showing your frustration. "It's not about the sex, Yoongi! There is nothing wrong with the sex... what I just want is... I just..." you look back at his face and you see an empty expression from him. Does he not get what you are saying or is he ignoring the other parts of what you told him. That the only thing he thinks about is your sex life. "Never mind..." you lower your gaze. "It's not like my opinion matter..."

"Y/N..." Yoongi begins. You look back st him waiting for whatever he's about to say. You think he was about to response to you or maybe say what is on his mind as well. (Maybe.) However, both of you got suddenly distracted by the honk of a black sedan car entering the property.

You have seen that car before. It is familiar. And then when it stops and someone steps out of the car...

"Yoongi?" The woman that came out of the passenger seat, is Hannah. "What are you doing here?"

She is smiling ear to ear. Her smile is as bright as her tear drop pear earrings that is perfectly shown under her tucked bob hair. She's... so pretty.

"Oh... Hi..." she waves at you when she finally notices you

"Hi." You try to smile as brightly as you can.

"You must be Yoongi's beautiful wife." She is sweet. She looks like a friendly and easy going person. "I'm Hannah by the way... I'm Yoongi's friend since we're... toddlers..."

"Nice to meet you." You bow

"What are you doing here? Mother said..."

"Ah... yes... we we're supposed to meet at my office but I just came from another meeting and since we will pass by the house I decided to just meet her now..." she explains

"She must be in her room now.. preparing to meet you."

"Oh. I see... well, I guess I'll just surprise her." She grins. "Are you guys leaving?"

"Yeah... we just had brunch with her..."

Fuck. What is going on?

Just a second ago, you're having a serious confrontation with your husband. You guys are about to talk about the situation between you two. Yes, it may not be the ideal 'talk' but it is a start. But then, here you are. Hannah arrived and stole his full attention. Literally, she have all his eyes and ears. You suddenly became a shadow.

Then you are also hearing Yoongi converse. You are hearing how is he when he's not alone with you. You are hearing a side of him that you are not familiar with. 'Fuck Y/N, stop it.' You say yourself

Maybe, you just need to stop. Just stop complaining about his attention and him not liking you. Maybe he is not the problem. Maybe.. it's you? They forced him to marry and got stucked with you. YOU are the problem. You are NOT the person he wanted to marry. You just got selected just because.

You are the problem. As always. Like what everybody says to you.

"I'll just email you my thoughts after..." Hannah says

"Why not discuss it now?" Yoongi suggests

"Hmm...but you're about to leave..." she glances at you

"It's okay." Yoongi then pulls out his phone and messages someone. "I asked Mr. Kim to come... wait for him... I'll be quick." He says to you

You look at him for a second before you turn your back on him. "Sure." You sound lifeless. You sounded like you've given up already.

"Y-yoongi... you're going to make her wait?" She whispers to him but you care definitely hear it

"Let's make it quick. I don't want to work over the weekend."

He's more worried of working on the weekend but not making you stay and wait all alone.

They start to walk away. You could see their reflection through the windows of the car.

They left you alone.

He left you alone.

Then as you are standing there, waiting for Mr. Kim to come back, you slightly bend over your torso, holding onto the yourself as soon as you felt a little uncomfortable feeling on your lower abdomen. It's not painful but it is a bit of discomfort.

"Fuck..." you hiss under your breathe.

You should be careful now. Atleast until it's fully confirmed. Yes, you are pregnant. Well, that's what the PT told you a few days ago.

You took the test, in your bathroom, scared and shaking like a twig. You have never felt this terrified in your life. Ever. And the freaking 3mins of waiting felt like forever whilst you are in there, sitting on the floor.

But yeah, after the torture of waiting, the test did show two lines. It was a faint but it is positive. And during that moment, your world suddenly stopped spinning. You had to gather your thoughts and emotion within the span of 30mins that you have. (Because your maid will enter your bathroom to help you get ready after 30mins). That was one other toture you had to endure. And to add more spice on this never ending problem is that you were all ALONE. You had no one to hold hands or hug for moral support.

You are, all by yourself.

After testing, you did processed the result in your mind and managed to get back right to reality and decide by yourself to be... okay. To take it as another good day. Because this is not something bad. It is a miracle. It's a life.

Though, you can't lie. It was a whirlwind of emotion. And you don't know what to feel yet about it. You are not even sure if you are able to share it with anyone, even Yoongi since you still need to see a doctor to really confirm it.

Confirmation.

You fucking need that final 'yes you are pregnant'. Because your further decisions in life will revovle around that one thing. Decisions that might affect this marriage and basically affect your whole life. So, you really have to find a way to get a doctor's appointment in secret. For now...

"Miss?" Mr. Kim arrives and sees you slouching, "Is everything alright?"

You turn around, stands up straight and smile. "Yes..."

"Are you hurt?" He asks

"I'm fine... but I just think... my stomach feels heavy a bit from eating... I did ate quite a bit." You lie.

"Okay, let me bring you home quick so you could rest." He says

"Thank you."

****

[Yoongi's side]

Yoongi can't sleep. He got home earlier just an hour after Y/N got home. He asked the maids to call her, to have dinner with him, but unfortunately Y/N was already fast asleep.

He waited for her to wake up from what he thinks is just a quick nap. But whenever he asks the maid if she's up, they just shake their head and say sorry.

They fought. He thinks. It felt like they fought. It's his first time hearing her talk to him like that. She have been always timid and her patience with him is very long. However, she finally have had it.

How can you make your wife, who is clearly showing you that she's falling in love with you, start to hate you?

Well, Yoongi knows what he did and is doing to her. He is very controlling, cold and distant. And these are the traits that can't be part of your life especially of you are married. However, this is how he is. As a child no, but ever since the incident happen fifteen years ago, the trauma and the life he had to put through made him, This.

Outsiders might call him as the devil or the punisher of the Min Family because of all the work he is doing inside the office and outside. He is a fighter and his hands are always covered with blood. Though what he's doing is not a crime. The Min's business is not illegal. They control everything that they can do end everything that is illegal in the most legal way possible. If that makes sense.

They were just a business before. A typical rich family. But yeah, since what had happened to them years ago, they changed their rules and how they do it now.

And that's why Yoongi have this cold exterior. He needs to show to everyone who's watching him that he can't falter. That no one could try to even break him like how those monsters break his father. How those monster took them and made them hostages.

10 million. That's all it takes, for some uneducated humans do the most horrendous thing in this world. To hurt and kill an innocent child. A 16yrs old girl and a 14yr old boy.

Their parents were willing to give the money and even more, just for them to surrender their children. However, the fear in them when they know that the children saw their faces, made them decide to end it all.

Yuna, his older sister, sacrificed her life to save Yoongi. She is one brave young lady. She managed to push his brother just in time to fall on the edge, to roll down small hill and get away through the woods. She got shot and died on the spot. Yoongi saw everything but didn't had the time to grieve then and there because he had to survive yet. To run.

It took two more days before he was found. How he survived? No one knows. But since that day, the happy and cheerful little boy grew up and became the cold Yoongi everyone knows now.

He knows that what he have been through is not an excuse to treat his wife so coldy like this. She was only forced the marry him. She didn't even know him. Which is his fault as well because he didn't allow her to enter his bubble. Up to now...

However, through all the times that he have been with her little by little, as per his therapist's words, 'You are slowly breaking.' She said.

She said that before, whenever she asks him about his wife. He is usually nonchalant or indifferent. Like he's just talking about someone he randomly met. But then one day, the therapists said, she saw a glimpse of change in his eyes the moment she asks about his wife. His expression is the same but his eyes started to shift like he's thinking about it more before he speaks.

'You care. You just don't know how to show it' she said to him.

At first, When Yoongi heard that from his therapist, he got worried. Not because He is starting to have this feeling for his wife. No. His wife is never and will never be a bad thing that happened to his life. He is worried because, what if he breaks his cold exterious and somewhere out there in the world takes advantage of it and what happened years ago will happen again?

That is his only concern. That is why, he added more men. That's why Y/N can't leavr a house alone. That's why he always tracks her phone wherever she is. That's why he can't sleep without know if she is fine or not.

If only... he never had these issues, these traumas from the past, maybe... it's easier.

"Please... don't quit on me..." he says out loud as he closes his eyes, imagining the smiling face of his wife. "Don't... leave me..." he mutters

****

After what it seems like a very, very long day for you you're finally home. You are so tired that the first thing you did after getting changed is sleep. It feels like this is the longest you've slept in like forever.

You keep turning and waking up every now and then but your body kept forcing you to not wake up. It's like its telling you that you needed this. After all of the worrying you have been having these past few days. This sleep is for you.

But then maybe after hour five of sleeping, you felt something cold touch your skin. It didn't sting. It oddly felt good.

Slowly opening your eyes, you see a blurred figure in front of you. He's so close that you could actually smell his scent. The smell of baby powder.

"Yoongi?" You ask softly as your eyes slowly adjusted to the little light of your lamp shade. But no one answered back. You then rub your eyes to wake yourself up a bit more. Just to be surez you saw what you saw.

No one. There's no one there.

"Did I... just dream about him?" You ask, looking at the ceiling. "But I swear..." you trail off. "How funny... even in my dream... I see him..."

But you swear you smelled his scent. Your imagination of him is getting stronger. Your memory of him is getting move vivid. Even the smell now. That's how longing you are of him.

You miss him. Even though he is there  you miss him. Oddly, you miss the time that both of you are just sitting down together in his home office and just reading. You miss casually asking him questions. You miss hearing him talk even though he's talking about his work and not to you. You miss him even though you just saw him earlier. Even though... he hurt you.

His scent. The scent you really, really like. His smell whenever you two have sex. It's not strong but it's there. Whenever you close your eyes and drift away from the high, you know you are okay as long as you could smell and hear him.

Fuck. Is this how being in love is?

Just thinking about him makes you want to cry. You are frustrated at him but at the same time frustrated to yourself as well. Why is communicating is so hard? You know that's the issue. Both of you are not good with talking nor expressing yourselves. Well, that's what Taehyun told you earlier.

Yeah, you went on a side trip earlier before going home, to meet your friend at his work. You needed someone to talk to and you know Taehyung is always there ready to listen to you.

You poured your heart out earlier, crying and all. You were sorry for disturbing him at work but you needed that cry and that hug. You had to told him your feelings about Yoongi. You have to say it out loud for you to truely understand the situation and yourself.

You needed someone's opinion to point out the obvious so it could stick in to your brain.

Growing up to a family where your opinion does not matter took a toll on you as well. Especially to an adoptive family. A family that only needed you for money.

To them, you always feel left out and does not deserve a voice. They always tell you that they only gave you a roof above your head and food to eat because you are what they needed. A piggy bank.

Your parents died in an accident years ago, when you are just 12yrs old. There was a police chase in the highway that rainy day. Every one is on high alert and giving way. But well, the criminals weren't exactly running away and trying to avoid cars. They hit quite a few vehicles during the chase and one of them was your parent's. The crash caused an explosion, killing them in an instant.

And like any drama stories on TV, yout aunt took you in because of your parent's insurance. They are not big but it is a decent amount. However, they could not actually touch it since it is saved for your education that's why the first month of you staying with them was torture. They beat you, make you work and starve you from time to time because they said, 'you don't deserve to eat unless you work for it'.

One reason why starving yourself was easy for you when you need to.

But then things changed a bit when someone knocked on the door one day and gave your adoptive parents a good amount of money. You remember the man saying 'this is for the trouble and lost we caused your family during our battle for saving our children.' You do remember you aunt, being a good actress that day, crying and all. You even saw them be in a good mood. Everyday because of that money. So since then, whenever you have a part time job or one good seasonal job, you save up and give it to them.

You do this not because you want them to be happy. You do this because you wanted peace for yourself. They will not hurt you if you give them what they need.

This is one reason too why you accepted this marriage. Even though, you know you will have trials too. But atleast you know, no one is going to hurt you physically anymore.

Though, you are having troubles now too.... it is still different. Like you said, it is the communication.

Is it all Yoongi's fault? No. Taehyung said that maybe, since I'm very submissive and him being very dominant, grew up giving orders or not listening to anyone because he is who he is, it affected the talking part in the relationship. Though he cannot say that it is a hundred percent fact. Because he explain, everyone have different stories of growing up and these affects every facet of their whole being when they get old.

Well, that's what you got from all his talk. Half of it, you are numb from all the crying and can't hear properly.

Though that talk with Taehyung,you needed that. Now all you have to do is talk to Yoongi.

If.... you have the courage too.

It is so hard to start a conversation not knowing how he feels about you. It is scary and a risk. But you are hoping it will turn out good especially now that you are expecting.

"Oh, right! The result!" You got up immediately and grab your phone.

You visited Taehyung in the hospital and he got to help you get a blood test to confirm. You forgot to talk to him about the result because you two are busy with doing friend therapy. He said, he'll just email you the result.

But then as you were scrolling scrolling through your emails your stomach growls. "I'm hungry..." you mumble and pause. "Taehyung said that if I am really pregnant... I need to eat properly now..."

And you haven't eaten dinner since you just slept since you came home. You need to eat.

Looking at the time it's pass 10pm already. Everyone must be asleep now or getting to bed so you must go and make yourself food yourself.

"Just one toast." You say as you push your blanket away. "Or two..."

You walk along the hallways as quietly as you can and then take the stairs instead of the elevator, going to the upper ground, so you could not disturb anyone.

There is still minimal light coming from the kitchen area. 'Maybe someone is still there?' You thought to yourself and hoping it is one of the maids so they could help you grab the things in the pantry. Since you don't really know how they organize it.

But then the second you turn to the corner, to enter the doorway

"Ah!" You hit your head first at something. Or at someone

Then after collecting yourself from bumping on someone, you look up to see who it was. "Sorry, I wasn't looking at--"

Fuck! It's not Yoongi nor anyone of the staff.

You tried to run back and scream but it was too late. He was quick to cover your mouth with a cloth. A scented cloth. The smell quickly pierced your nostrils and immediately made you feel dizzy and sleepy.

You are barely awake but you know he carried you over his shoulder. You could see the floor and the lights slowly to flicker. You are about to loose it.

'Help... Someone.... Yoongi... please...' You say to yourself before totally loosing consciousness.

-----

Taglist based on the replies last post 🖤

@gaby-93   @goodbyetwenty   @baechugff

@amyz78   @qeen123   @armystay89   @bangtannie7 @daisies-and-dandelionpuffs @corruptedmistress @ot72025 @cheezwiz

@xkh0  @eli-deville

[laylaysdelusions]

Sim wife. (Paige bueckers x reader)

Summary: Paige catches you playing sims with a married version of herself 

“Hey!” Paige(your roommate) says as she walks through the door, putting her gym bag down.

“Hi” you muster up the courage to not sound shy.

Everytime the woman speaks you practically fall to your knees, it’s even more unbearable, considering you live with her. She makes your mouth go dry and your cheeks go slightly pink.

“How was your day?” She asks with her classic grin that makes any fangirl swoon. She’s been in an extra good mood recently.

Ever since the two of you moved in together, as close friends, you’ve been head over heels in love with the blonde. She’s never given you the ick in any way it’s like she’s unrealistically perfect.

You suddenly feel her fingers snap in your face to grab your attention, pausing your daydream.

“Good- it was pretty good” you say way too quickly for your liking. You want to seem calm and collected but damn does she makes it difficult.

As she gets closer you get a better look at her.

She’s wearing basketball shorts that hanging off her hips, revealing the top of her boxers. Her hair is in a low slick back bun. Oh, she looks freaking delicious.

“Oh that’s good I’m happy, what made today so good?” It felt like Paige knew she was teasing you, it was almost like she knew that you couldn’t really answer that.

“Well I hung out with Dylan and Maddy in my room for most of the day” you say while smiling, thinking about the memories with your best friends.

To be honest your best friends poked fun at your debilitating crush on Paige often today, and that was a pretty big part of your conversations with them, but Paige doesn’t have to know that of course.

They were given an even bigger opportunity to say something when they saw that you made Paige in the sims 4 and you married her.

‘Aww she’s too cute’ Maddy put her hand on her heart while looking at Dylan.

You had to jerk yourself back into reality.

“Is something wrong, you seem to be daydreaming a lot” Paige asks.

You assure her you’re just fine and even though she doesn’t really believe you she lets it slip past.

“What’s your plans for tonight?”

“Oh well nothing really just video games” you answer as you’re fighting back the urge to just jump in her arms(or make out with her.)

“Actually I was wondering if you wanted to had a movie night with me like old times? a girls night?”

“Sorry Paige I need alone time to unwind, you know how draining Dylan and Maddy can be from time to time” she sighs and rolls eyes at you.

“Why have you so been so introverted around me recently?” She looks at you with a questioning voice

You try to breathe and stay calm. There’s no way you can sit next to her for two hours or longer while still containing your feelings, especially since your ovulating.

“Just a little more reserved nothing to worry about” you say quietly before speed walking to your room.

“Shit..i just made an absolute fool out of myself” you whisper while having a big pout on your face.

While you’re sitting on a self hate train you decide to self soothe by playing with your imaginary world of sims. You pull up your save file and begin playing.

Not long after you heard Paige knock on your door.

“Um hey I got you pizza I thought you might be hungry”

“Thank you” you say with a sheepish smile

“Hey are you playing the sims?” Paige laughs.

Uh oh. You hoped and prayed she wouldn’t notice the sims you made.

“Y-yeah” you mentally facepalm at your stutter.

“I used to play this game with my friends all the time, throw back” Paige says amused.

What you didn’t realize is that Paige found it adorable and she wasn’t judging you whatsoever. She thinks you’re pretty damn cute.

The screen accidentally moves around a your sim self appears.

“Oh gosh is that you?”

You nod.

“She has your facial features and mannerisms down perfectly, are you married in here?” She sounds eager to see save file but you’re not willing to show her considering her name is in there.

“M-mhm” you say not wanting to lie, you want her to like you and that means being honest and likable in everything.

“Can I see?”

“No..”

“Why not?” She looks puzzled but still amused.

“Come on sweetheart just let me see it’s not that serious it’s not like I’m gonna judge a sim” she playfully rolls her eyes.

The pet name didn’t slip past you. Your face flushed and your knees went weak.

Paige’s hand overrides yours on the keyboard and she sees your sim wife.

“Paige bueckers is your sim wife hm?” She says with a smiles and her eyebrows move.

You’re frozen and no words can come out.

“I didn’t know my princess of a roommate had that big of a crush”

“Look- I’m sorry can we pretend this never happened” you say, so embarrassed.

She leans down to your ear and whispers.

“Don’t worry I like you too”

Relief and flustered emotions come over you. Does she really or is she just messing with you?

“Yes, really” Paige says almost as if she could read your mind.

“I see the way you peek down the hallway to get a glimpse of me or how your cheeks are pink when we make eye contact, I’ve been doing the same thing for a while now honey you’re oblivious”.

“So this means..we can be date?”

“Well yeah I was gonna ask you to be my girlfriend, what do you think?”

“Yes!” You say extremely fast.

[melodygatesauthor]

The Fractured Moon - Part 3

Yandere! Moon Boys X f!Reader

PLEASE READ TAGS/DISCLAIMERS/WARNINGS BEFORE READING THIS FIC. THERE ARE DARK THEMES!

Not Beta Read - Series Masterlist

Summary:

After Steven's ruthless beating, you need time to recover, and the boys are going to show you how nice they can treat you, if only you'll let them, and as long as you behave.

Tags/Warnings (for entire series):

Disclaimer: I created this fic for the sole purpose of exploring the yandere thing as a fanfiction "kink" in a safe way and in a safe space. I in no way would want this to happen to myself or someone else. This fic is not a reflection of my moral beliefs. - Further, this fic is not an accurate representation of people with DID (dissociative identity disorder). These men happen to have DID and I'm putting them in a situation where they would have an unhealthy obsession with the reader character. NSFW, Stalking, non-con, somnophilia, rape, mentions of murder, drugged sex, kidnapping, manipulation, dacryphilia, voyeurism, threats of physical harm, copious amounts of sex, copious amounts of unprotected sex, blood, unrealistic refractory period, biting, slapping, hitting, reader is smol, choking. This is a Dead Dove Do Not Eat situation.

Word Count: 4079

----

Steven came into your room in the afternoon, the day after the beating you’d endured by his hand. He looked at you with a guilty expression, seeing immediately that your skin was discolored in places where he’d hit you. It didn’t go unnoticed either, the way your face looked panicked when he stepped into the room. He’d never seen you so afraid that you were driven to get up and scurry to the corner, sliding down the wall on your back and tucking your knees into yourself, as though you were hiding from him. Jake didn’t even make you this afraid.

“What did you expect hermano? What you did wasn’t discipline, it was torture,” Jake said coldly.

If Jake was the one telling Steven that he was out of line, then it must’ve been true. He didn’t mean to hurt you that badly, he was just so angry when he saw you with that filthy plastic toy. The idea that you chose something like that over him when he was right there, warm and ready to give you what you needed, still made his cheeks flush with rage. He took a deep breath to calm himself.

“Darling, I–” You tucked your head down further at the sound of his voice.

Steven’s entire body felt cold. He’d really gone too far, hadn’t he? Jake was right. It was one thing to teach you a lesson. A few welts on your rear, and maybe some bites to remind you who you belonged to, but what Steven had done…it was reckless, and monstrous. He’d never felt so terrible in all his life.

“I’m so sorry.”

He walked over and knelt down in front of you. You gasped when he reached out and touched your forearm gently. You pulled your arm back, afraid he was going to hurt you. He felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter when you looked up at him. Still so stunning, even with, sometimes especially with, fear etched in your pretty face. He gave you the softest expression he could, brows knitted together and turned up in concern.

“I shouldn’t have hit you that hard,” he admitted. He could’ve left it there, but he didn’t want the lesson to be lost in his kindness. “I hope you understand why I had to teach you a lesson, despite my being a little too harsh.”

You shook your head, “you’re a nasty man.”

Your words stung, and Steven had to try and keep his cool. You were upset, and you had a right to be, he knew that, but hearing you call him nasty…that was a lot to overcome. Steven wasn’t nasty. Rapists were nasty. Murderers who killed innocent people were nasty. Steven wasn’t any of that. He was kind, loving, protective, and anything you could want in a man. That was why he knew you loved him. He would never hurt you…not really.  He reached out his hand again, and that time he brushed your cheek with his thumb, despite your flinching.

He shook his head, “I don’t want to hear you saying horrible things like that love. I’m not a nasty man. S’not nice for you to say that. I’ve done nothing but care f’you, and love you, right? How can you call me nasty? How can you say something like that?”

You furrowed your brow, “you kidnapped me, raped me, all of you–”

He covered your mouth quickly, “no, no, no, shhh,” his eyes were wide. “That is not true.”

You saw his eyes start to well and his bottom lip started quivering. Was he so delusional that he didn’t see the truth? That he and his brothers had brought you there against your will and tortured you? Did he really think you were happy? No one could be that blind to the truth…could they?

“Can’t have you sayin’ things like that love, lyin’ and whatnot. S’not nice to do yeah?” He looked at you with what looked like desperation, “I brought you home to us, I give you love, I make you feel good. That’s all. You can call it whatever you like, but lyin’ is a bad habit to get into darling. I don’t wanna have to teach you another lesson.”

It was clear that no matter what you said, he was going to spin this around to fit his twisted fantasy, so you decided to remain silent. Speaking out against him would only lead you to more pain. He took his hand off your mouth slowly, as though you might explode if he released you too quickly. His expression softened into a look of adoration. It made you uneasy.

“I’m gonna do somethin’ special for you tonight, alright, so do me a favor, yeah? Get yourself all cleaned up nice, put on somethin’ pretty f’me, and I’ll give you a nice reward for being so good an for taking your lesson so well last night.” He stood up and started walking toward the door.

“I don’t have any clothes,” you reminded him.

He turned around, “oh god, you’re right. Silly me. I’ll have Jake pick somethin’ out for you, he’s got good taste.” When Steven smiled, you noticed how handsome he really was. You hated yourself for thinking it, but it was true. “I think you’ll like what I’ve got in mind f’you tonight. Gonna give you a chance to get out of your room for a bit.”

That was, unfortunately, the thing that made you behave better than the beatings. The promise of even the smallest dose of freedom. To be able to get out of the room you’d spent the last week in. Or was it longer than that? You couldn’t recall. You shouldn’t be that excited for something so simple, but you couldn’t help feeling a little giddy at the thought of getting out of the room, even if it was under their supervision.

You washed yourself well, and the hot water soothed your aching body. When Jake came in later, he brought you something to wear. It was a sheer babydoll lingerie top. You held it in your hands while the man looked you over. He grabbed your chin in his gloved fingers, tilting your head side to side. He tsked as his eyes trekked over your body.

“He really got you good, hm princesa?” Jake brushed a finger over one of your bruises forcing a wince and hiss from your lips. You stepped back. “Steven doesn’t understand the craft of fixing bad behavior. He gets a little…carried away.” He smirked, looking you up and down. “Put the top on, let me see it on you.”

You took the baby blue top and slid it over your head. You felt pretty in it, and you hated that you liked the gift they gave you. There were no bottoms it seemed. Despite their kindness, they still wanted to leave you open for their needs at any time. You didn’t see the point in arguing, panties or no panties, they were going to take you any time they wanted anyway.

“Muy hermosa.” He stepped forward and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. “Steven’s the lucky one tonight.”

Later, Marc brought you some food to eat, and he nearly dropped the platter when he walked into your room. You looked like an angel, donning your beautiful, sheer top. He knew that he was going to have his time with you another day, but he wanted to take you right then. His breath hitched in his throat while he watched you eat, taking your small bites as usual, as though you still didn’t trust the food they handed you.

“You’re so sweet baby, love seeing you in this little outfit. Jake’s got good taste,” Marc commented.

“Always have amigo,” Jake said amusedly from the headspace.

“Will you make her hurry up Marc, m���gettin’ impatient. She’s just so beautiful and I…I want her now.”

“Take your time honey, don’t want you getting a tummy ache,” Marc said, brushing his thumb over your cheek.

Steven was hurt after that, feeling wronged by Marc in the worst way. It was already hard enough to share you between the three of them, and now the man was just taunting him. None of the boys were ready for you to know their secret yet, and that was the only thing keeping Steven from fronting and dragging you out of the room to spend time with him in that moment.

He was relieved when you were finally finished eating, and Marc took away your food, kissing you gently on the cheek before leaving the room so Steven could get ready. He wasn’t getting all dressed up, all he wanted to do was curl up on the couch with you and listen to you read. He had no other demands, no requests for you other than to hear your beautiful little voice while you read from the pages of the book they saw you reading in the library. Steven felt like that was ages ago.

----

The Beauty and the Beast.

The book seemed ironically fitting now. You held it in your trembling hands, unable to peel your gaze off the book. You wondered if you’d ever stop shaking, but you supposed that so long as they kept hurting you, you’d be afraid of any interaction with them; even if the interaction seemed as innocent as curling up on the couch and reading.

“Come now love, lay here with me,” Steven felt his heart skip several beats when you looked up at him from the pages you were shuffling through.

You looked radiant, lit by the flames of the crackling fireplace. They licked over your skin, illuminating you in a way that made you look even softer than Steven thought possible. Sometimes he forgot how lucky he was, until his eyes fell over your body once more. You were his, and you weren’t going anywhere. He held out a hand to you, a love-drunk smile spread across his face.

You flinched back when he presented you with his hand, gasping sharply and dropping the book on the ground. Steven’s demeanor shifted from pleasantly affectionate to scorn. He stood up from the couch, forcing you to jump back, fearful that he might hurt you more. You dropped to the ground, grabbing the book and holding it to your chest tightly, keeping your eyes on the floor.

“I’m sorry!” You said loudly, feeling your entire body shaking in terror.

“Get up,” he demanded, “tired of seein’ you acting like you’re afraid of me.”

You slowly stood, knees practically knocking together while you tried to stabilize yourself. Your breathing was shallow, and you felt tears welling in your eyes as you turned them up to look at him. Steven’s mouth was turned into a dark frown, brow furrowed in frustration. He felt so damn guilty for hurting you. He really did, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being a bit dramatic. He didn’t hit you that hard, right?

“Turn around.”

It was a simple command, and you weren’t too dumb to obey it, but the fear they’d instilled in you had left you paralyzed. What was he going to do when you turned around? Not being able to see him made you even more afraid. You found the courage to do it anyway, knowing that your punishment would be far worse if you didn’t comply.

You felt his hands, gentle, but still forcing a flinch out of you, as they traced along your spine. He brought them to your sides, along your ribcage and then he held your waist. You grunted when he lifted you, and he backed up to the couch, where he sat slowly, resting you on his lap, your back resting against his chest.

He was hard already, cock prodding against his sweats as though it were reminding you that it was still there. You hadn’t forgotten, your cunt was still aching from the last time he’d been inside of you, just the night prior. You let out a soft whine, to which Steven smiled against your ear. He let out a long exhale, one that told you he was going to want more than just a little story time before the night was through.

“Go ahead love, start reading f’me,” his breathing was ragged and desperate in your ear.

Steven listened as your pretty voice began reciting the book obediently. You were acting so much better now; better than when you’d first arrived. He felt a swell of pride through his chest as he pressed his lips against your cheek. You stuttered as you read, breathing becoming more shallow as he worked his kisses down your neck.

“Don’t stop love, keep goin’,” he demanded in a breathy rasp.

You’d managed all that time to keep your physical feelings at bay, but you couldn’t deny the heat pooling in your core at his touch. His hands that were resting casually on your outer thighs were now rubbing against you slowly as he became more and more restless. You knew he was preparing to take you again, never giving you a moment’s rest despite how badly your body still ached from everything he’d done. You stopped your reading, a small whimper escaped your lips; a feeble attempt at begging him to stop without saying it verbally.

“Now, now darling, I’ll have none of that,” he roughly grabbed your waist in one arm, holding you in place while he slid his sweatpants down underneath you, “you’re gonna take me like you’ve taken me before, and you’re going to keep on readin’ like the good little girl I know you can be.”

Steven could feel the way you pressed your thighs together tightly and it pissed him off. He still didn’t understand why you were acting like this, like you didn’t want him as badly as he wanted you. It was obvious that his touch made you feel good. He felt it every time he was inside of you, and he felt it now, the way your cunt was leaking all over his lap, soaking everything it touched.

“I think you’re just a little tease. I think you like makin’ me work for it, you like seein’ how bad I want you? Is that it, love?” He let a dark snicker escape his lips, breath still hot against the soft skin of your neck. “Well…” Steven brought his hands over your legs and then between your thighs, forcing them apart easily, despite your efforts to keep them closed, “I’m quite over it now love. I want it, and I’m gonna take it.”

He lifted you with ease, lining himself up with your hole before sheathing himself inside of you. He let out an exhale of relief, as though he needed to bury his cock in you the same way someone might need cold water on a hot day. You dropped the book on his leg and held onto his thighs tightly, choking on your pained grunts as they tried to leave your mouth. He sat there, unmoving, save for the way he continued to pepper your neck in gentle pecks.

“Didn’t tell you to stop readin’ did I, love?” He asked, reaching for the book and placing it back in your shaking hands.

You continued reading, feeling his cock throb against your walls with every word you read from the page. You felt one of his hands snake around to grab your breast, while the other moved over your thigh and between your legs. You stopped reciting the words again, unable to spit out another sentence as his fingers searched for your sensitive nub in the sea of your juices.

“See, this is why it seems so silly when you try to act like you don’t need me, love. You can’t even read a damn book when I touch you,” he said in a low growl while circling his finger over your clit. “Keep going.”

You gulped and let out a shaky exhale before continuing. His breath brushed over your neck while he continued leaving soft kisses there. You were overwhelmed by the sensations, feeling his cock twitching inside of you every time his fingers passed over your clit, making your cunt contract over him again and again. When you felt the trickle of his drool running down your throat you stopped reading again.

“If you keep stopping, I’m not going to be very happy darling. M’trying to get immersed in the story and you’re making that very, very hard,” he moved his hips a little, forcing his cock to brush against your cervix.

You gasped, “o-oh god! I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, it’s t-too much,” you whimpered from the over-stimulation.

“Oh love, that’s not true, you can handle me, you’ve handled me before, keep reading.”

Steven started pinching your nipple while you read, making it even harder to continue, but you persisted. Your wounds from the night before, and the reminder that they provided you with, were enough to keep you going. If his goal was to terrorize you into behaving the way he wanted, he’d succeeded. You would do almost anything he asked at this point in order to stop a beating like that from happening ever again. He let out a deep, rumbling moan against your neck, rutting his hips upward.

“So damn wet f’me, how can you lie and say you don’t want this? Such a silly little girl, soaking everything underneath you and saying you’re not enjoying yourself.”

He was right, you’d begun to crave their touch, the feeling of their cocks inside you, their spend filling and spilling out of you. Your heart stopped when you realized you’d stopped reading again. Steven chuckled.

“Since you’re not going to read it…” he pulled the book from your hands.

“Steven…” Marc said with a tone of warning.

Steven had half a mind to bend you over the arm of the couch and spank you with the book until your ass cheeks fell off, but Marc brought him back to reality. Despite his desire to teach you another lesson in obedience, he knew your body couldn’t take it. Instead he positioned the smooth, rounded, leather spine of the book in front of your cunt, resting it between your wet pussy lips.

“I want you to fuck yourself on me, and rub your needy little clit on this book since you don’t seem interested in what’s on it’s pages.”

“B-but–”

“Shh!” He shushed you harshly, “you be quiet now and do as I tell you. I really don’t want a repeat of last night, d’you?” Steven asked, tone deathly serious.

“O-okay, I’m s-sorry,” you said, voice trembling in fear.

You positioned yourself on your knees and started gliding on his length slowly, rising up so the tip was barely in and then dropping back to his base. You were wetter than you’d ever been, and it made you feel embarrassed. You didn’t want to enjoy it, but you couldn’t help yourself. The leather spine of the book had ridges that brushed over your slick clit, and it felt…good.

A shuddering whine left your body, your head fell back over his shoulder as you kept moving, grinding your folds along the book. Steven couldn’t believe you were falling onto him like that, that you were laying over him. You were so pliant, like a sweet little doll chasing your release on his cock. You started moving even faster, breathing heavier with each pass. Steven licked a stripe up your neck, sucking on your skin when he reached the base of your jaw.

“Yeah, you like this don’t you darling? Feels good dunnit? O-oh-god-yes-love-shit…” 

His breath was ragged and hot against your skin, causing mind numbing waves to course through over your body and to your core. You felt him grab the back of your head, turning you to face him before covering your mouth in his hungrily. He was so messy, and so noisy when he kissed you, forcing you to swallow his loud moans. His hips moved, rutting upward roughly as you moved back downward, brushing your cervix lightly.

Steven heard a little shaky whine leave your mouth forcing a smile from his own. He looked up at you, precious face stained with tears, lips puffy from all the crying you’d done. He chuckled softly, feeling nothing but pure bliss when he saw you looking at him with cock-drunk eyes. Steven removed his hand from the back of your head and brought it around your side to your breast, tucking his hand inside the baby blue, sheer fabric so he could feel your skin.

“So soft, love…oh yes…” 

Steven pinched your nipple between his thumb and forefinger to which you gasped and whimpered noisily. Those sounds were enough to make him come without ever touching himself, and with the feeling of your little pussy squeezing around him as your orgasm approached, there was no way he could hold on any longer. He wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close against him while he slammed into you from below.

As Steven started thrusting even faster and harder, your loud cries filled the room from the ache of the stretch. You had no choice but to reach back and hold onto his messy curls for stability, an action that he would misconstrue as intimacy. You were gasping and arching on him, feeling the way his cock filled you while the book’s spine caressed your swollen clit. You could feel it…you were right there…

“Ah! Oh darling, ah-ah–”

Steven’s throat clamped up as his cock twitched and throbbed within your walls. Your soft little hole was so warm, engulfing him and squeezing around his length while you came. He noticed the way you continued sliding your folds over the book, using it to work yourself through your orgasm. Your movements eventually slowed, and as they did, Steven pulled you up off his cock, letting your combined juices spill onto the leather-bound novel when he did.

“Ooh lookie here,” he tsked, “what a mess we’ve made,” he chuckled, “would you look at that?”

He lifted the slick, dripping wet object up to his mouth and licked a stripe along the leather spine.

“Gonna need some help with this, can’t leave it like this or it’ll get damaged yeah?”

You nodded, knowing exactly what he was asking of you. You leaned in, tongue joining with his while you lapped the book together to ‘clean’ it. Steven’s cum tasted sweet and salty, a delicious combination, though you’d never admit that out loud.

He found your mouth with his once the leather was free of both your messes, kissing you with both your combined cum on your tongues. He kept going, he couldn’t resist the taste of you, and he felt himself getting hard again already. You had such an effect on him, he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted you again. Steven grabbed your hips harshly, turning you to straddle him.

“Steven, that’s enough. You have to give her a break. We talked about this, and you agreed,” Marc reminded him sternly.

Steven growled, but you didn’t understand why. You’d done everything he asked. You behaved perfectly, as far as you could tell. He pushed you off of him and pulled his sweats up over his erect cock. You felt frightened, not sure what you should do now, but the last thing you wanted was for any one of them to be mad at you, but especially not Steven. The thought alone was horrific, you felt the panic rising in your chest.

“I’m sorry!” You said quickly, rushing off the couch and over to him.

You grabbed the outside of Steven’s pants with your hand, feeling his bulge through his sweats and hoping that it would make him less upset with you. You touched his chest, showing your willingness to obey, looking up at him with the most pathetic doe eyes you could muster. He chuckled when he looked back down at you. “Oh darling, you’re so adorable I can hardly stand it,” he said, letting out a heavy breath, “you see, I’d love to give you more, I can tell how bad you want it again…” he looked over in the mirror, scowling at Marc, “but it’s Marc’s turn now,” he took your hand off his groin and kissed your fingertips, “we’ll be together again soon, not to worry my little darling.”

----

Moon Knight Masterlist

[mysterycitrus]

kory for the character ask if you're still doing it/she hasn't been asked already!!

Headcanon A:  realistic

the same as clark, flowers turn to face her as she walks by. standing in her gaze is like being basked by the sun. as she cradles seeds in her palm they sprout to life, unfurling into lush green buds. her hair shimmers, like aspalt on a hot summer's day. when it rains, the water catches on her skin and casts tiny fractals of coloured light in the air. the world is in awe of her. when you stand too close, you feel you hair stand on end. when you kiss her, it is like drinking liquid gold.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

if she wants to, she looms. she's six foot four on a bad day, and even taller with heels. her hair adds another half foot. she is honest and has nothing to hide and it's easy to mistake that for naïveté, but she takes great pleasure in standing over people and peering down at them from her great height. to bruce wayne, especially. he recoils from her light, glaring at her beneath his cowl. she steps on his toes, hits him with the shoulder of her armour, throws her hair back in his face.

"sorry," she says so sweetly, and smiles with all her teeth. "i didn't see you there."

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

when she looks up at the sky, she can still see tamaran burning. its light will not disappear for the next ten thousand years. everything that ever was now must live through her. the weight of it threatens to swallow her whole. she loves earth and its people, she loves the titans and her new family and the people who care for her here, but she is still so afraid - what do they truly think of her? do they look at her and see someone subhuman, someone undeserving of respect, someone whose passion and rage is less-than, and unworthy of honour? is she a creature so hurt from her time in the citadel, so consumed by everything she has lost, that they fear what she is unafraid to do? the action she will take to protect those she cares about?

they do not, of course. they see her as someone so full of love.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

on tamaran, braids were a sign of status. hours were spent weaving gemstones and beads and crystals through the strands. stories of victory were told through the woven patterns. it is so important that this history is not lost. donna is the first to learn, then dick, then rachel and karen and lilith. she'll sit on the floor in the tower as they patiently brush out her curls and begin to weave. one hot afternoon, she walks into a quiet salon and leaves with twists piled high on her head. as she pays, the stylist kisses both her cheeks and holds their hands together. it is not forgotten, is said unspoken, here, it lives on in you.

she makes sure to leave a tip.

[oikasugayama]

Hihihi! Can I please please please request BSD men with an older fem! s/o? Especially Dazai, Kunikida, Sigma and Fyodor but feel free to add more! I have this very distinct convo in my head that I can’t stop thinking abt and it goes smth like this:

~

*Dazai doing his usual women flirting, holding your hand and staring up at you with sparkling doe eyes and rosy cheeks*

Reader: “Oh, I’m truly flattered, darling, but it’s just that a boy like yourself…you’re just a bit too young for me.”

Dazai: “Young? Well, my dear belladonna, I don’t under-“

Reader: “I’m 43, honey.”

*He is visibly surprised, mouth forming an ‘o’ shape and eyes widening before he recovers, a charming smile slipping on once more.*

Dazai: “Well then, ma’am, I must say that you aged like a fine wine because you don’t look a day over twenty-one! I know that I’m probably inexperienced compared to you, but at least give me a chance to prove myself!”

~

Idk man, I just need BSD men with an older woman, who is mature and elegant and maternal and experienced.

i cringe so hard every time someone writes dazai saying b****d**** to his partner 🤢 sorry anon, it had to be said.

Dazai's is smutty, Kunikida's is fluffy.

Dazai likes the mature look, he likes the well-developed body, he likes the attitude and casual confidence that comes with an older woman. a hint of gray at the edge of a woman's bangs makes him start the chase. he looooves gentle aging on the face, thinks mature women are so beautiful.

he definitely chases them for short relationships, nothing serious. he'd like to take them out, spend some time being a young little shit and flirting his balls off, only to turn into putty in the older woman's hands when she suggests he come back to her place, because he's so young and must have a roommate, so they'd have more privacy at her place ;)

he tires to take the lead, but he usually inevitably lets the older woman tell him what to do because he wants to do exactly what she wants. of course the woman is usually pleased to know such a good looking younger man is so attracted to her, and of course she wants that hot man on top of her, but with her age comes experience and she's gonna make sure they both have an excellent time when he gives her the reins.

dazai likes the most when his partner takes her shirt and bra off and her boobs lower and naturally hang. he likes playing with them, sucking on them, especially when the woman runs her hand through his hair and holds him. if he has a complex because he didn't know his mother, no he doesn't. don't talk about it. while in this position one woman says to him "drink up baby, don't you like mommy's titties?" and it makes his dick throbbbbb.

from then on he realizes he likes calling women mommy in bed more than he likes being called daddy. he wants a hot mommy to play with, he wants to get pussy drunk, thrusting desperately and rapidly, chanting/moaning "mommy, mommy, mommy," while she tells him he's a good boy and he can cum in her pussy whenever he's ready.

Meanwhile, Kunikida...

His ideal woman is older than him. obviously he gives up most of his ideals after his coworkers make fun of it and tell him it's unrealistic and honestly kind of disrespectful to women, but one thing he knows for sure: he just prefers older women. he thinks they're beautiful, he loves how intelligent and experienced they are, he loves when they give him advice on things they've experienced already that he's only going through for the first time, he loves how confident they are, he loves that they're independent, he honestly can't think of a thing he doesn't find appealing about an older woman.

when he's ready to date, he specifically approaches mature looking women. he gets to know several, dates around for a short while, but relatively soon he finds The One. She's beautiful, she's intelligent and kind, she's independent but enjoys having his company.

They get serious quickly and within a year they've decided to move in together to save on costs, so he moves into her home. he enjoys waking up to her and having another presence in his home. it's very comforting and something he missed after moving out of his family home and into the ADA dorm.

he's SO proud walking around town holding his partner's hand. he isnt very fond of PDA and it isn't the most acceptable thing, but a simple hand-hold is enough to show that they're partners in a fairly subtle way.

kunikida isn't ashamed at all if/when someone asks if they're related rather than dating; he always very politely says they're partners and deflects any further conversation.

he will NOT take shit from his coworkers about his partner. he tells them off so harshly the first time they try that even dazai doesn't make jokes about the age difference anymore, unless he's drunk like at the ADA holiday party when he called kunikida's partner a MILF right to her face, making her toss her head back and laugh. she didn't mind, so kunikida let it slide.

[melanieph321]

HIIIII💘💘 could you please do some Joško Gvardiol ones? I don't really see too many of them and considering I love your writing and the previous ones ypu've done I would love to see some more. Much love xx❤️❤️

Of course! ❤️

Joško Gvardiol x Reader - Vunrable

+18

Summary - Joško gets freaked out after Reader starts to bleed after a night together.

Enjoy!

Your relationship was fairly new, meaning  you had never seen Joško look so terrified before. But as he got off of you and the lights came on in his bedroom, there he stood, eyes wide at the sight of you. At the sight of what he had done to you.

"I don't know...?" You stammered, quite shook yourself. "This has never happened before, at least not since I was in high school."

"So you're not a virgin?"

"No, of course not."

"Then why are you bleeding?"

"I..." You had no idea. You sat in the pool of it, blood. Not period blood. You were obviously on the pill since you started seeing Joško. It was the one thing he requested of you, other than that he didn't have demands on what happened between you in the bedroom. It was very spontaneous, your sex life. The most exciting one you've ever had. Seeing Joško like this, with terror in his eyes, felt like the end of your sex life as it was now. How sad, since this was the first night that the two of you had gone all the way. It had taken time, earning each other's trust, especially Joško's, who for many reasons felt hesitant to engage in a sexual relationship with a woman like you. Someone who wasn't famous.

"I think it's normal...." You said, hands nipping at the sheets. "You're obviously bigger than most guys I've been with, and tonight when we...."

"It's not normal." Joško said, and seemed not to want recall the events of tonight. How he had your face pressed to the mattress, silencing your moans as he fucked you from behind. Or how he had you ride him with your breasts slapping across his face, the ultimate position before flipping you over to lay beneath him. It was during missionary that your troubles began. Joško held your gaze while pushing himself into you. He stroked your hair and kissed you gently, allowing himself and you to be more vulnerable than usual. "Fuck, I could do this forever." He whispered. But unfortunately that's when you felt the sharp pain between your legs.

"Joško, please. It's not like it hurts now when you're not inside of me."

"Well, what about the future?" He hissed. "Does this mean that I can't fuck you the way I want? I'm sorry Y/N, but you should have told me about your inexperience with men. Even if I'm not your first you obviously haven't been with many."

"And that is a bad thing?" You felt naked. Although your clothes had come off hours ago, this was the first time you actually felt the vunrability of being naked in front of a man.

"I don't know if I can do this?" Joško said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Fine. I'll clean myself up and get out of your way."

"Y/N, that's not..."

You got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. Joško tried grabbing your arm but you shrugged his away. Once in the shower you cried with the running water. You asked yourself why men had to be so stupidly sure of themselves in a way that stopped the from being vunrable? Vunrability is what could cure the unrealistic expectations that they had of the world and the women in it. But perhaps there was no desire.

"Y/N, please, stay."

You hopped out of the shower, eyes bloodshot from crying. Joško was sitting on the edge of his bed where new sheets had been swapped from the old once that you stained. He grabbed your arm as you passed him on your way to put on your clothes.

"You're obviously free to leave, but please help me make this right." He brought the back of your hand to his mouth, kissing it gently. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" You looked down on him unconvinced that he even understood where he had gone wrong.

He looked up at you with your hand still pressed against his lips. "For what I said and how made you feel." He nodded. "I was a bit freaked out, yes. But it's not an excuse to say the things that I said."

"And?"

His brows lifted. "And?"

"Yes, and?" You were not satisfied with his apology, certainly not after your cry session in the shower.

"Please Y/N, I'm not very good at this. I'm obviously terrible. All I know is that I want you in my bed. I want you to feel safe being intimate with me. When I saw you bleeding it was like a nightmare come true. I saw myself as a monster that...."

You silence him with a kiss. A kiss that lingered until a need to catch your breaths.

"You're not a monster." You're forhead knocked against his.

"I am a monster for questioning you instead of taking care of you right away."

Your hands went to his face, his beard scruffy beaneath your palms. "Take care of me now."

His arms cradled around your naked body, pulling you down to lay with him in bed. You picked up where you left off, with Joško stroking your hair and kissing you gently, allowing the two of you to be vulnerable again.

[hopeswriting]

okay, breaking my silence on this i guess, so have one of my author’s notes from one of my stories. sorry not sorry, peace and love on planet earth <3

Listen to me, LISTEN TO ME. I know in canon it seems like the 10th gen wants to become mafia, or that they're okay with it at the very least, and that they don't care that Tsuna very much doesn't want to become mafia until the very end, but it's because they look at a different choice from Tsuna. For Tsuna, his options are to either become mafia and Vongola, which'd mean dragging all his friends into it too, or somehow manage to make Vongola give up on him so none of them will have to become part of the mafia. And so of course he tries his very best and his hardest to somehow achieve the latter, however unrealistic it is and how little power he has to do that, if at all, as Vongola is the strongest mafia family in the world. But he has to try anyway so none of them will become mafia, but first and foremost so none of his friends he loves so much will become mafia against their wishes, especially when it'd only happen because they happen to love him back, the last legitimate Vongola Decimo candidate.

But for the 10th gen, the choice in front of them is to whether turn their backs on Tsuna so to be free from the mafia, or keep standing by his side even if it means they become mafia. Do you get what I mean? For them, it's always about Tsuna first and foremost before it's ever about Vongola and if becoming mafia is something they want. They look at Tsuna and the life he's being dragged to, very much caring that he doesn't want any of it and yet doesn't have the power to stop them from dragging him closer to that life, and ask themselves: "Do I love Tsuna enough to let myself be dragged to that life too, so I can help him see it through and find as much happiness as possible from it?". And of course, of course the answer is yes and comes to them as naturally as breathing.

And so they give in because they must, because they don't have (yet) the power to fight back against it and win. Because should they not be willing enough, they might decide they wouldn't mind making them part of their world even if it means breaking them to make it happen, and they wouldn't have (yet) the power to stop it from happening. To stop it from happening to Tsuna.

And so they willingly let them teach them how to be a mafioso so they'll be able to stand their own in the world they're forcing them to become a part of. They willingly let them teach them how to be a powerful mafioso so they'll be strong enough to protect each other from and survive in the world they're forcing them to become a part of. And then maybe to even still be happy in that world. (And then maybe to even break free from that world.)

They're all doing it for each other despite none of them wanting any of it. Because they care about loving each other and doing justice to that love more than being able to do the things they want. Do you get it? Please tell me you get it!!!!

add-on:

i’m not saying their friendship is perfect in every way. i agree it isn’t and it’d be boring if it was anyway, but also it’s very much by design. because khr is all about growth, about being a better person than you were yesterday and doing better by the people around you than you did yesterday. it’s about this group of kids who were strangers and had many more reasons to not mesh well together than to get along, who came together anyway and built a bond so strong between them, it survived through and was the strength that allowed them to see through all the mafia bullshit thrown at them no kids should ever have to go through.

i AM saying that despite the... cracks on their friendship, the places where it comes together more loosely and superficially, the places where it doesn’t come together at all, they’re still genuinely friends. the 10th gen genuinely loves tsuna and cares about him and does care about the things he wants and the things he doesn’t want. like, is there room in canon to interpret all i said above in a less wholesome way that’d make their friendship less strong and genuine and organic? absolutely. is there room for interpretation in canon to extrapolate and explore how their friendship might not actually survive the test of time because they want and need different things from it? absolutely. and i mean that, because i myself am absolutely not against going down those routes and thinking about them and exploring them and reading about them (tho i do have yet to write about it haha). but canonically, whenever they look at all that sets them apart and at all that could break them apart, they always choose to overcome those things to come together anyway.

i’m also saying that it’s a little unfair to look at their friendship at the beginning of the manga, and base your opinion of it solely on it. because of course the early arcs, let alone the first one, is where their friendship was at the weakest and the least equal. it’s where they were the most and most often just not very good friends to each other. but that includes tsuna too. like yes arguably he was the one getting the short end of the stick giving and not receiving much back, but there’s a post on here saying he was (or is, i don’t remember) a bad friend to them, and like. yeah, he kinda was. because it’s literally his first shot at friendship, and then he doesn’t even get to try it in normal circumstances, far from it. it’s their first shot at friendship for all of them in their own ways and in less than normal circumstances, so of course they were clumsy and tactless and hurtful with it at times. but they put in the effort to learn to know each other so they could do right by each other, and it’s something you can’t possibly miss if you read the manga in good faith.

i mean, gokudera says this as early as the kokuyo arc, and entirely unprompted too:

[ID copied from alt text: Panels from the manga Katekyo Hitman Reborn.

Bianchi says, “Let’s go, Tsuna.”

Tsuna hesitates, saying “Eh... but...”

"Please go ahead, Boss,” Gokudera says. “Get Mukuro!"

"Yes, I know, but still..." Tsuna says, still looking unsure.

Gokudera grins wide and reassuringly. "Once this is over, we'll all have some fun together."

Tsuna smiles, looking relieved and pleasantly surprised. "...Ri...right. We'll do that."

"'Course!" Gokudera says. /END ID]

he knows exactly what tsuna cares about and values the most: their peaceful and happy daily lives, and all of them being safe and having the freedom to enjoy life and each other’s company without worry. gokudera’s perfectly aware just why tsuna’s there and what he fights for: so they can go back to their peaceful and happy times safe and sound. so please don’t tell me gokudera actually doesn’t know tsuna and only cares about tenth/vongola decimo and the perfect version of tsuna in his mind he puts on a pedestal. (and i mean, don’t get me wrong because there is that too, but gokudera has always been able to see tsuna for who he truly is anyway, and it’s tsuna he’s always cared about first and foremost.)

now of course you still don’t have to agree with me by no means. you don’t have to think their friendship is all that deep or strong or equal or genuine and organic, if at all. it’s not that i don’t agree that both these takes are valid and based on canon, it’s not that i don’t see where these kinds of takes come from or that i don’t think there isn’t some truth in them, but if we’re talking strictly canon, if we’re trying to guess objectively and in good faith, independently of how we might feel about it, just what amano was getting at writing and portraying their dynamics the way she did, then you just have to agree that the intent was to show just how strong and resilient because of how loving and caring and trusting it is their bond is. i mean, it’s literally the heart of the story (that, plus tsuna’s and reborn’s bond). it’s those bonds that carry tsuna forwards, and so it’s the same bonds that carry the whole of the manga forwards. like i’m sorry, but you really just have to agree with me on this. (about how this is the take we’re most likely meant to take from the manga, that is, because again, whether it’s actually the way you, personally, receive it, or if you think amano managed to write it well and pull it off, etc, that’s of course for each of us to decide, and we’re not any less valid than each other no matter what our opinions are.)

so, yeah. idk how to finish this post lol. but i guess what i’m saying is that even tho i’m not gonna give examples here of the 10th gen caring about and loving tsuna and knowing who he is, and standing by his wants, wishes and needs, know that i very much could. so i guess this is also my “the 10th gen are genuine friends of tsuna who truly loves him and cares about him for simply being tsuna first and foremost, and their friendship is an equal one from both sides” propaganda post. which i actually already got to do once. and as long as we’re strictly talking canon, this is a hill i will die on.

[dervaaas]

You broke up, but you still attend his matches

Character: Rin Itoshi

wn: Hint at moments before blue lock, match with U-20, The guy's name is not mentioned! F!Reader!

Part 2 with Rin Itoshi!

the following: Hyoma Chigiri, Yo Hiori, Meguru Bachira, Shoei Baro

p.s And three years have not passed. It was so fucked up that I didn't want to release it. I've rewritten it so many times, but nothing good came out.. I used a translator, so I'm sorry if you don't understand anything at all! I haven't studied English since March, so I couldn't translate even one sentence on my own.. I hope I'll be back soon. I also need to change a lot of information about requests.

Broke up simply because there was not what can be called a relationship. It was more like hanging out when they were still friends, that's all. We broke up behind the scenes, but also because all the "romance" was gone. The only thing the girls said about them was that she was dating a football player and it was unrealistically cool. But is that so? Once upon a time, Rin was really more open towards her, even when they were just acquaintances. But now, when the breakup has already happened in words and it's really worth going your own ways and realizing that nothing will work out together... It hurts to give up at least a simple friendship.

But it could have been said more mildly? Sae's arrival was like oil on fire. Rin, of course, had been thinking about it for a long time, but he wasn't going to say it that way either. This is quite difficult to accept, especially if it was a heart-to-heart conversation, but just a splash of emotions. Y/N was there, for the simple reason that it was routine to watch him train on the field and no matter what the weather, he has to play a certain time. But Sae... Not only did Rin suffer morally, but she also heard unwanted words in her address. Not with everything she remembered Sae, but what can she say to him, she can't object because of the fear of looking into those eyes at all. Will support be important? So she thought it would be better to support him, but everything turned out to be complete bullshit:

— Rin, I want to help you, don't they do that in a relationship?

"Like I'm interested in all this shit, and how long are you going to call it a relationship?" The way you run after me like a dog on a leash, do you call this a relationship?! — Y/N am a little shocked by such aggression, which was not peculiar to Rin at all. But when the words reach her, she turns around and leaves his room. Heading to the kitchen from which she will be able to go out into the corridor and finally leave, at least somewhere just to cope with the tears that are accumulating. That's just where his parents are sitting now and... Sae.

— Y/N, do you want to have dinner with us? Rin needs to be called, too. I just wanted to do it myself. — The woman smiled when she saw the girl.

— No, thanks. I'm in a hurry, — Y/N looks at her apologetically, to show that she really wants to cry now, she can't, just because she makes a woman worry.

"Is something wrong?" — Sae with a note of interest, looks over his shoulder at the girl getting dressed. Maybe he doesn't remember much about her character, but in his memory if she was in a hurry, but not like that.

—None of your damn business," she says through gritted teeth. Leaving their house leaving them in a complete misunderstanding of what is happening. The door doesn't close as roughly as I would like, but I couldn't get angry either. It's not their business to show their character, he needed to show it.

If the snow was beautiful, now it is not as pleasant as before. The city is enveloped by snowfall in large, cold flakes. It sticks to my cheeks and burns, either from the snow, or from freezing tears. There is no point in shouting, people will not understand this, and in principle everything has been leading to this for a long time.. But who refuses to kick something next to him and throw a phrase that he will no longer meet with athletes.

It's probably been two years, more or less, just an approximate figure. Everything goes on as usual, snow begins to envelop the cities again. So are stadiums. The recent news spread quickly and this news could not get around her boyfriend, who was still a football fan. As strange as it may be, but she is still interested in people who have connected their lives with football. Actually to the news: the guy Y/N bought tickets to VIP places and a meeting with one of the players of their choice. Quite a decent amount. And quirks have their rich.

— Amazing composition, right? — the guy smiles at the girl when he saw the field and recognized all the players.

— I didn't think I'd see how Sae and Rin are playing against each other.

— You mean Itoshi? Although you know it's not uncommon in sports," he looks into the girl's eyes with interest.

"That's not the point.. The match will be tense, at least they will bite each other's throats. — the girl bit her tongue when she realized that this was exactly what would happen.

— Let's go, our business is just to watch, — the guy smiles at her, and takes her by the hand, leads her out of the place in the stands.

And now the match is over. Victory Blue Lock with a margin of one goal. And it wasn't Rin who scored it.

The same meeting. The young man Y/N really wanted to meet many, but the problem was that with only one player. They chose from the most beloved ones by counting.. Well, Rin so Rin, ten minutes to talk, and the guy decided to share with Y/N five minutes. To be honest and have something to brag about in front of other people.

After a short break, while some were being interviewed, Rin was called to a separate room to talk to VIP clients. Y/N and her boyfriend were also standing outside the doors of this room, waiting to be let in. We decided that Y/N goes first, there is no reason, just "ladies first", that's all. And so she walks into the room and the first thing she hears is:

—  And why did you come?

— Honestly, I was dragged by force, I didn't know that you were going to play. And besides, I didn't choose it," Y/N shrugged her shoulders.

— If I knew, wouldn't go? Rin raised an eyebrow, with the same deadpan look she remembered all along.

— Well, yes.. Perhaps — the girl nods slightly at her words. — We don't have much time to talk, if that's all I'll call him.

— I wanted to apologize, — he says. Y/N blinks at his words, not really understanding what he just said. Apologizing? A joke or something.

— Has Rin Itoshi gone crazy?! — Y/N jumps away from him in horror. He had no problems with apologies before his arrival Sae, but to hear from him now, when he can only be compared to ice, is shocking.

— Five minutes are up, call your boyfriend. Rin nods towards the door.

— I didn't say he was my boyfriend.

"I saw everything," Rin rolls his eyes at her words. — If he wasn't your boyfriend, you wouldn't behave like this. Even with time, your manner has remained. And don't make an indifferent monster out of me, I can see it in your eyes.

The girl mumbles only "okay" and goes out the door. After her, her boyfriend comes in, she does not hear what they are talking about, but this gives her a reason to think about his words. What is this manner? Did Rin really regret his actions? Although what difference does it make, time has passed, his words have not gone anywhere and sometimes torment, even if he knows perfectly well that he has not been washed away in this for a long time.

— Rin, I remember your game much more today. It was unexpected that you would be playing against your brother. — The guy holds out his hand Itoshi, which he looks at with skepticism and is not even going to shake it with him. A small wave of awkwardness has come over the guy and he chuckles a little.

— Thank you?

— Okay, Y/N said that you once met. Why are you doing this to her? — His gaze darkens, then the former awkwardness has disappeared, instead there is a tension in the room, even more hostile.

— And what, are you going to tell me off? — Rin takes the guy by the collar and presses him against the wall and says through his teeth: — Do you think it was easy for me? I already know very well what kind of person I've lost.

— If I regretted it, I would have corrected the mistake long ago, right?

— Fixed it? Yes, even if so, there is from one relationship, only the name. Do you think she would forgive me for the words I said to her? She doesn't forgive such words, and she certainly doesn't forgive me. Rin squeezed his collar even harder. Outside the door, they heard knocking on the door and talking about the end of time. Itoshi lets the guy go. — Just try to do as I do..

— I'm definitely not going to do it, — the guy spat words and left the room.

— What were they talking about?

— Yes, he praised the game.

"And how did he receive her?" — Y/N took the guy by the hand, and together they walked down the corridor to the large hall, where the press was still standing.

— That's enough.. In cold blood.

— Oh, well, that's his style, — the guy smiles at her words. — Sae is still here, surprisingly, can he do a dirty trick?

— What are you going to do? — the guy darted a wary glance at her, as if he hadn't found her at his side. And now she is already standing behind Sae Itoshi is trying to reach him.

— Hey, Sae! It 's better Sae! Sae, the devil picked you up! — Y/N still managed to attract the senior Itoshi, when he turns to her, he is slightly surprised that she is here, and then his face contorts when she shows him two middle fingers while smiling. Oh, she's definitely the cover star of sports magazines and newspapers.

[heretherebedork]

*4Minute spoilers if you haven't watched*

I think I'm just going to have to accept that the Sammon X BOC shows just aren't working for me. I really liked MOD, and I really appreciate what Sammon brings to BL. We're still really lacking in genre variety and adult centered shows, and I like how she's committed to bringing something more medical/mysterious.

But the BOC shows have really just drifted too far from what I'm looking for in a BL I guess. I like darker shows, but the ending of DFF (which was that even BL?) and 4minute are just too heavy on themes and mystery for me. I guess actually it just feels too artsy for me - like it's purposely being ambiguous. And that's fine, it's just that it feels out of place in what I think of and want in a BL.

The ending of 4minute just isn't what I wanted. Any plot issues aside, I am just not enjoying the couples dying together all the time trope. Even if it was unrealistic, I just want Tonkla to run away with one of these men (or by himself I guess if we must).

Yay, spoilers! (I haven't watched but I also don't care.)

Anyway, yeah.

I admit it. BOC? Not my vibes. Like, at all.

I have not yet enjoyed a BOC show. Just... genuinely? Have not. I've enjoyed some small parts but never the entire thing and never most of them.

And that's okay!

Everyone has their taste and if people can stop jiving with GMMTV or not find themselves enjoying Mandee or not wanting to see another Dee Hup or whatever then some of us can just not vibes with BOC.

Frankly, BOC isn't making BL. They're making Artsy Queer Shows.

Which, sure, go for it! Why not? We need them, no denials, we always need artsy queer shows and that's great. Please, make more! Go for it!

But BL? Ehhhh, I'd argue that BL is a romance driven genre and that they way they lean into the shows doesn't lean into BL itself and that's okay! Honest, it is! Queer shows like this are important.

They're just not my taste. And I hope that's okay.

(Sorry, BOC fans scare me. Seriously.)

But anyway yeah dying together is not my idea of an ending I want. Can't wait to watch it. Hmmm. I should 1.25 speed it, probably.

I am especially sad that Tonkla didn't get away with everything. That man deserved all his gay wrongs in the world!

And, just in case people wanna say this is a bad take because Great obviously regretted it and wanted to make up for his mistakes. That's not it at all. Great did regret the shitty things he did and that's fine but Tonkla deserved to murder people. He did. And he still does. He deserved to murder and run away and live freely and build a new life. He was the only one I even remotely cared about.

But anyway! There's nothing wrong with dislike a production company or style of show. That's okay! It's always okay to dislike or like something differently.

[bekolxeram]

Sorry to bother you, but I thought maybe you could answer a question I have since I saw episode 2 :

For context, I have never been on a plane and all I know about them legit comes from all of your post 😶

But I didn't know a plane could fly and especially people in it could survive if they were a hole in the plane ?

I know it's probably a stupid question but if a plane can fly and people survive then why can't we open the windows during a flight ?

Is the hole in the show unrealistic or is there a perfectly reasonable reason for us to not open the windows ?

Thanks for your answer 😊

Yes! This one I know how to explain.

As I've said before, fixed wing aircrafts fly by directing airflow around their wings.

The higher pressure air stream naturally wants to move up into the lower pressure region, but because the wing is in the way, it pushes the wing upward as well, together with the rest of the plane.

At lower altitude, you have denser air, so more lift, but also more air resistance (we call it drag), so the engines have to work harder and use more fuel to just fight against the incoming air.

If your goal is to get from point A to point B as fast as possible while using the least fuel (it's expensive and not eco-friendly), you'd want to fly in thinner air at higher altitude, just enough air to keep the plane afloat, but not enough to slow it down too much.

The typical cruising altitude for a commercial jet airliner is between 31,000 to 38,000 feet. As comparison, Mount Everest has a height of 29,035 feet, so a bit higher than that. You see climbers at the Himalayas struggling to breathe at higher altitude, some even suffer from altitude sickness that can leak fluid into your lungs and brain. Planes flying that high are pressurized, keeping the air condition in the cabin close to that on the ground, so that the passengers can breathe comfortably.

If there's suddenly a hole in the plane at high altitude, the high pressure air inside the cabin will immediately starts rushing outside to the lower pressure environment. Anyone not wearing a seat belt (like Captain Dominguez) will be blown out of the plane, and those who are still on the plane will soon experience hypoxia due to the oxygen rapidly leaving the cabin (hence the oxygen mask). It's not a comfortable experience. Standard procedure in case of such rapid decompression for pilots is to make an emergency descent to below 10,000 feet, so that there's enough air to breathe for everyone, before they come up with a plan to land the plane.

A plane can fly with a hole in its fuselage, as long as you don't have passengers in it that need to breathe air. NASA used to have a 747 with a window at the back for a telescope, called SOFIA.

The window frame itself needed special reinforcement so that it didn't fall apart mid-flight, but it flew like a normal plane otherwise. The frontal half of the plane was pressurized though as a work space for scientists.

As for the survivability of being on a plane with a giant hole on its roof, it's possible, as long as the plane doesn't completely fall apart and there's no major damage to flight controls. Aloha Airlines Flight 243 in 1988, a Boeing 737, lost a sizable section of its fuselage skin, but it still managed to make a successful landing, with only one fatality (a flight attendant was blown out of the plane when the roof came off).

It's not comfortable or fun, but we've seen bigger holes in aviation history.

[ellenchain]

Hitman question! Favourite cinema snack and general behaviour while watching a movie on the big screen?

A new question yay ❤️

I've always wanted to draw a picture of all four of them watching a horror film at home (but a cinema is also a good idea)!

I think only Olivia and 47 like to go to the cinema. Diana is too busy and Lucas is too paranoid to sit in a dark room full of unknown people. But let's say it's Olivia's birthday and, as is the case with (adult) children, one day is a proper celebration with friends and one day is spent with the family. So she drags her family to the cinema and they watch… an action thriller.

47 buys far too much popcorn and nachos and drinks because Olivia convinces him that a family menu is too small. Because money is not an issue and it's nice to eat trash food once in a while, he gives in and hands everyone a full menu. He probably sits down dutifully in his seat and stares at the screen for the entire duration of the film (sometimes he even blinks). At the end, he walks with a bag full of popcorn and nachos to the car and drives everyone home. He won't talk about the film except to say ‘it was good’.

Diana comes along because why not, the last time she went to the cinema was ages ago. But first thing she notices is the carpet, which is full of popcorn crumbs and nachos. Children, who are fortunately going to a different film, scream and try to persuade their parents to buy far too expensive gummy bears. She doesn't like the noise level outside the cinema; she is about to leave again. Especially when she sees the seats, which are still dirty from previous customers. But she can relax during the film, reaching into her far too big tub of popcorn and snacking on a few nachos. The film is boring, but she enjoys the peace and the evening together. She talks to Olivia about the film on the drive home because in the end she kind of liked it.

Olivia is full of anticipation, buys a few more snacks and tells everyone about the trailer. Going to the cinema with her family (and old people) is actually totally lame, but she wanted to see the film anyway and you don't have to talk while you're sitting in the cinema (something that 47 also quite appreciates). During the film she occasionally says ‘ohhh’ and ‘ahhh’ or laughs out loud. At the end of the film, her stomach hurts because she almost emptied both popcorn and nachos. But it was worth it. She had fun and talks about the film for the whole ride.

Lucas arms himself to the teeth and sticks a knife in every sock. Better safe than sorry. He keeps a close eye on everyone in the cinema. Every face, every child is analysed. He's not interested in the film, it's totally unrealistic anyway. In the film itself, he gets nervous when the lights go out. He has looked at everyone around him several times, but what if someone in the film room shoots at them with a sniper rifle? After 15 minutes of boring film and absolute no incidents (apart from the annoying teenagers and the occasional laugh from his daughter), the dark room begins to put him to sleep. He only wakes up again when the light comes on and 47 gently shakes him by the shoulder. He says nothing about the film. His popcorn and nachos are subtly packed into a bag by 47. He eats both the next day while planning a mission.

What do you think? Maybe it depends on the genre of the film: I think 47 has a weakness for slice-of-life films. But what do the others like??

[solitarily-sofia]

heartstopper (tv show) unpopular opinions:

tao should not have cut his hair. i feel like his hair being long was a sign of him standing by elle and growing his hair out in solidarity bc elle had mentions she got suspended bc of hair length (and taos is curled bc straight it would be past his chin which is the length elle got suspended for) also tao is supposed to be an "outcast" but now hes lowkey fineee

i wish the rugby lads had more screen time, specifically in the reoccuring line up of the three of them gossiping and being cut off by coach singh.

the whole point of the show is providing happy healthy lgbt couples so people complaining its too cheesey, cringy or unrealistic are incorrect.

i hate to say it but charlies mom may have been correct in banning him from nick until he got his grades up... maybe there was a better way of doing so but there was a clear connection bc charlie declining in school and him constantly being with nick. but i am glad how they added that to the show especially from charlies pov bc its so perfectly teenagerly and angsty lol.

i wish they had more characters not in romantic relationships especially with the implications of sahar x imogen other than issac just bc hes ace

kit and joe are the best actors in the show, both together and on their own. (i do think nearly everyone is fantastic but they are definitely the best especially kit but he has 10 more year of experience than everyone else)

most unpopular of all.. i dont love inogen as a character... i think she deserves the best but nick refering to her as one of hsi oldest, closest friends seems a bit strange seeing how most of there relationship is her having a crush on him. she provided a good subplot and conflict in season one but idk she doesnt seem to fit with the show. (this could be bc i was a comic fan first) also i think this could be different if she was a straight ally and expanding on her friendships instead but now i fee like they just wanted more queer people in the show and so they are throwing her with sahar. (the lighting was not subtle) anyway i dont think she was really needed in s2 except to keep ben, who i also dont rly think was needed, and i wonder what they do for her in season three

sorry for such a long list lol and although it may not seem like it i do truly love this show/story. feel free to disagree with any id love to hear your thoughts

Hii sorry for the late response today's been a bit chaotic.

Let's unwrap thiss

I to an extent agree with the tao one, his hairstyle really compliments his personality and he said he felt comfortable with it in season 2! And at first he only cut his hair for elle. But I personally think his season 2 hair looks better aside from that. Still love this though because it's cute that he grew it long for elle! :)

For the second one, I KNOWW!!. I would have loved to see the friendship between nick, Christian, sai and otis develop more!! However, if the show continues to follow as it does in the comics. We should see them more in season 3!! :)

With this I agree, heartstopper isn't supposed to be 100% realistic, it's meant to bring a sense of comfort to people who are struggling.

I agree that his mum probably should have handled it better but it helped Charlie in the long run so that's good. And I think she does genuinely care, but reading this winter and solitaire I can't say I'm a massive fan of her.

The imogen x sahar thing is understandable as there are a lot of queer teen relationships in the show, but the show is showing different types of queer experiences/relationships and how they come to terms with their sexuality. I understand your side though :)

Kit and joe are such incredible actors!! They never fail to have me sobbing on the floor. I MEAN THE FINAL SCENE OF SEASON 2 I WAS BALLING. And I agree the rest of the cast are so incredible too! I really loved tobies performance especially this season. It's rare to see aroace representation but he really did such a great job and it stood out to me.

And finally, with imogen (as a comic fan myself) at first I'll admit I didn't exactly LOVE her character, but it wasn't really her fault she was just a girl who liked a guy. I loved how her character developed though! I kinda think it's a good idea for imogen to be more involved because as seen in season 2 she doesn't have many friends and it would be great to see her adapt herself more to the Paris squad and maybe understand her sexuality more.

Thankyou so much for this ask I loved answering this :)

[swifty-fox]

For a kiss upon your shoulder, which thank you for writing bc it is amazing.

I love the fact that you made Gale leave because not only are they not working together well they seem to start hating each other (but not really they are hating themselves) and the lack of care or reaction from Bucky is affecting Buck a lot. Bucky has always seen Buck as the calm and collected person and seeing him explode may have been shocking, idk I feel like he is conflicted also about Buck being gay and associate Buck violence with it (which was typical perception back in the day). When he asked Buck if that was normal in relationship btw guys and I was screaming like clearly not Bucky Jesus. Which i love that you did not make them have a modern men perception on homosexuality.

Gale has lived through sexual assault, having to live in a dangerous situation with the person who did it close by knowing that if he didn’t do it, it would have killed Bucky or any of the other men makes me sick. No surprised he reacted that way (and thank you for writing it so well). Buck loves Bucky so much you feel it through your writing and since it is in Buck’s POV you really feel like John dislikes him even tho it is not true.

I am interested in seeing how John will be without Gale bc we know from previous experience that he is never really happy without Buck. Will it affect him at all ? Or will he be relief that Buck left until it start getting to him that by letting him leave he lost him in a worst way? Will you have Buck find someone else to heal with before Bucky comes back ? At least he will have Marge who really knows everything he want through.

Anyway sorry for the long paragraph !

I LOVE LONG ASKS AND LONG COMMENTS PLS

The funny thing is is that I originally was NOT going to have Gale leave at all. Since it's no longer the plot point but the original plan was that Ma Egan was going to wake Gale the night/morning before he left saying John was in the backyard. They were all worried about him and she thinks maybe Gale can talk some sense into him. So they have a confrontation/discussion out there and resolve things (with some kissing) before returning inside and we end the story soon after that.

But as I was writing I realized....these two needed to take a fucking step back. They were too intertwined. Gale was too busy worrying after John, worrying after his feelings for John he was neglecting himself. And John needed to hit his own private rock bottom and it was not going to happen so quick after the fight. They needed to separate, Gale needed to realize that he can be someone without being John's and John needed to realize how much he needed to be honest about (spoilers). He needed to focus on Buck more and not just tell himself 'well Gale can always handle himself he's fine'

When Bucky asks if thats the normal way between two men he's being fully sarcastic. He knows it's not normal but he's just being a bitch because he's drunk and angry and scared and is kinda like 'let me be overdramatic to piss you off enough to explain'

It was super important to me to have this fic as accurate as possible! hence this infamous dm to @1343-40:

So yeah I wanted them to kinda stumble through what we consider entry level queer politics just cause this is both something they had no access to and in some cases hasn't been discussed yet.

I was talking to @reallylilyreally the other day like we do not know how prevalent things like sexual assault were in POW camps because there's no way these guys would have discussed it. But knowing war and power dynamics and how that plays into those sort of things I fully believe it's more prevalent than anyone would have had us believe. I think the most unrealistic thing is that it would happen to Gale of all people, specifically because of his rank. Officers, especially a Major, would be treated with more respect than your average soldier. Like I said I really really wanted to handle it respectfully while also making it the right level of painful.

John doesn't dislike Gale even a little bit. Sometimes Gale hates him because he loves him so much. I don't think Gale even thinks John hates him until the end there, he just kinda wishes he did because then it might be easier.

I think for the last bit you will have to wait and see! But no, John is not doing well, when has he ever done well without his Lucky Buck?

[deepdonutkid]

I discovered people in the fandom complaining about how unrealistic Haffie is. Well, yeah, I kinda agree with that. The canon book characters don't go that well together, but I can imagine two scenarios, where I could picture them together:

Fuckbuddies- duuuuuh, Haymitch is so unfitting for a relationship in almost every aspect, but he still has some game. Everytime he is in the Capitol for some business or Effie is in D12 they spend some time together, mainly because they are bored. But it would be interesting, to get some one sided jealosy in the mix.

And this is a bit of a far strech but hang in there...An AU where Effie tries to stay in D12 permanently after Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch come back home, because she feels like she isn't welcomed in the Capitol anymore. She was part of the Games, most of the escorts, beauty teams and stylists have been killed, and now she is one of the few people left. Effie notices strange looks from every corner and decides she can't take it anymore. So, she goes to the people who she thinks, actually liked her for herself. After her arrival, she knocks at Haymitch's door and asks him, if she could stay a while. A few days later, Haymitch asks her, when she will go back again, she declines and explains why. Haymitch says: "Well, it won't be easy making a life here" and Effie says: "Teach me then" and after that it's basically like a 2000 feel-good teen movie, where the rich posh girl is moved to the country side and at first she hates every second of it, but while the romance progresses, she admits to herself, she likes it in a way she never expected. And the main concept of this story would be comedy, sweet simple slice of life comedy with just a pinch of romance, because we don't wanna overdo it. Write at 2am for about three hours and we are good to go... E Voilá a mouth-watering Haffie story!

Just imagine Effie trying to help Haymitch with his geese, while Peeta and Katniss are watching from their kitchen window and decide: "Well, that's definitely not our problem."

Or there is no hot water yet and Effie demanding a bath after a long day of work. So Haymitch and her keep filling up his tub with warm water from the stove. Once it's done, Effie undresses herself and gets in the tub. She is finally relaxing and... Haymitch comes in, wearing just a towel and wants to join in, just to prank her.

"Well, sweetheart, what did you thought... I would put in all this work just for you?", he asked her, rubbing his stubbly chin with dirt-covered fingers. She- still wrapped in her arms for protection from his keen looks- retorted: "Actually... yes." But she couldn't interpret his reaction. Haymitch was shaking his head as the smile on his lips turned into a grin and then into a big laughter. "You expect me to", he started and had to pause right then, because he couldn't contain himself. "You expect me to bath in your cold water." His voice was much colder now, since he stopped laughing. It was almost unsettingly calm now. Effie didn't know where to look. She gulped just thinking about him standing there half naked. Usually, she liked being seen. That's why she joined the Games as an escort. In a family of six, with four sisters, she was rarely noticed. Overlooked, most of the time. And while she was there on stage in her meticulously composed outfits, she was adore and admired by the masses. But that didn't last. Now, every pair of eyes set on her, was one pair too much. Especially his. His grey eyes pierced her soul and shattered her like she was glass. She blinked and looked up to him. "I thought, you were being nice. I really tried my best today and I already had such a hard time setting in." "A lots of Is in there... I thought, I tried, I had. Don't you think you're being a bit self-centered here? Since you came to me and asked me for help, I assumed you changed. Guess I was wrong about that." He was already at the doorstep, when Effie called for him. "Wait, Haymitch... I'm sorry. Please come back, I'm sure we find a way to share this tub." With a grin he turned around, rolling his eyes. "For a second, I believed you left me hanging." The towel flew down from his hips. A whince left Effie's mouth. She didn't know where to look, but only realized she kept staring, when Haymitch scoffed: "My eyes are up here, darling."

[nicegaai]

okay you found me (well the account that wanted to be found anyways 😭).

love the responses about the sibling dynamics (although i'm under the impression that the sámi people hate finland [for good reason]). somewhereville usa is so real [although if you're wondering, you got the vibe of most of the midwest down. much of the suburbs are very anywhereville].

i read your rereading þr post and one thing i want to add is that i hc that emil was wearing a hot topic logo t shirt (although apparently they don't sell those???). what's another small hc you have about the five?

kksdjlk SORRY!! the activity page on this acct is slow, i notice when i get new followers :P

the sapmi/sámi irl probably do, but historically speaking, theyre probably closest-ly related to the finnish out of the nordics...maybe. but she could just as well have been adopted. ummm of all the concerning implications þetta has that i should probably make a long disclaimer about , the sapmi oc thing is the last thing i was thinking ab but maybe ill tack that on whenever i put it together. im thinking last chapter... "im sorry to every nordic person and especially the icelanders in real life for implying you(r natl reps) do incest. i have a fetish and im doing a bit. please stop blocking me on ao3 i didnt even know u could do that"

thank you for the midwestie endorsement!!! it means a lot fr! :D im basing a lot off of TV and somewhat my own experience in the american suburbs. btw this lot live one town over from you so watch out next time u see a blond guy

i could make up headcanons for them all day long ... or i guess in this AU everything i say is canon actually. whoa . thats a lot of power

everyone has a nicotine addiction lowkey (except emil? so far) im talking vapes (timo) im talking zyns (mads) and normal ciggies too (sig) (ber is all of the above)

sig in high school was angry and confused and kind of a freak. i think he wore gir hoodies. he would have loved myspace era jeffery star and being an awful diva but he was doomed to something else entirely by association with the magic (the gathering) club

mads' peak golden retriever bf era was high school. he played sports, he was popular, he started a band with his friends... he just didnt have a plan afterwards and burnt out (temporarily?). SAD

ber was graduating hs ab the time sig and mads were starting. i think he was in band, brass section, socially awkward and a kissless virgin. he thinks back on hs and gets embarrassed about the way he was, but minus the virginity he hasnt changed one bit.

timo is an enigma to me. i have trouble pinning him down. i think he could have been one of those theater kid furries but hes also outgoing and generally likeable by the school population (showers regularly). just kind of a weirdo!

WAIT . THE REST OF THIS LIST IS GOIGN TO BE GOOD ONES

(not incl timo) their shared grandparents were first cousins, and it was less weird back then. :) no, they do not know this. when the day comes he finds out, mads will go into a downwards spiral of "we should have done this thing proper, me and sig could have been married"

timo's full time job is doing furry commissions on xitter and vrchat. im talking some real degen illustrations. he is soon going to start an autobiographical webcomic about furries doing incest (names changed to protect identity) and people online will call him a LARPer and the story unrealistic and it will piss him off so much

fun fact the rest of the town is minorly fleshed out, i used to talk more ab other things too... alfred and gilbert do crossfit with mathias and they do gay shit in the locker rooms and are about 1 flash of insight away from admitting they have a 3p fuckbuddy thing going on but nah nah theyre bros they hang out its fun its lighthearted its male bonding. working out together just does something for the libido you know how it is

gilbert is dating erzsebet (there was a whole sideplot with them and roderich but i forgor it) and alfred is a Sigma Male Who Is Too Cool To Date A Woman but he actually has a weird thing with matthew going on behind closed doors

most of the heta characters are out there in the town and a lot of them went to high school together. or something. england was one of the teachers... aughhhh its been so long since i was talking ab the au the details r murky fml